The Joe Rogan Experience - Joe Rogan Experience #254

00:00:02.000 The Joe Rogan Association podcast is brought to you by...

00:00:05.000 What is wrong with you?

00:00:10.000 I was thinking...

00:00:12.000 My brain is crossing signals right now because I was thinking of radical feminist associations.

00:00:18.000 And it got brought up.

00:00:21.000 Sometimes I'm talking about something, and I've done it too many times, like the introduction to the podcast.

00:00:25.000 I go on full-on autopilot, so I don't really know what the fuck is coming out of my mouth until it comes out, and then my brain goes, wait, what?

00:00:33.000 So I went on full autopilot there.

00:00:35.000 I fucked it up.

00:00:37.000 The Joe Rogan Podcast is brought to you, this episode is actually brought to you by a guest sponsor, which is Audible.com.

00:00:45.000 And if you've ever gone to Audible.com, if you're into audiobooks, it's the shit.

00:00:50.000 It's a really amazing website.

00:00:51.000 If you go to Audible.com forward slash Joe, they, I don't know, what do they do?

00:00:57.000 They hook you up?

00:00:58.000 Yeah, you try it.

00:00:59.000 Okay, you can try it free for 30 days.

00:01:02.000 That's what it is.

00:01:02.000 And believe me, if you're a person who commutes, especially, I think one of the reasons why I was really into doing this is I think a lot of the people that listen to this podcast listen to it while they're commuting, or you listen to it when you're at the gym, or you listen to it when you're on a plane.

00:01:16.000 And what I consider places where you're stuck somewhere, or you would like something to entertain you.

00:01:21.000 And it's kind of a new...

00:01:24.000 Really an uncaptured form of entertainment.

00:01:28.000 For the longest time, all we had was radio and CDs in the cars.

00:01:32.000 But with podcasts and audiobooks, man, sometimes I don't want to park.

00:01:37.000 If I've got a badass audiobook on and I'm really into it, I don't want to fucking park my car.

00:01:42.000 I'll shut my phone off and I'll listen to a good story.

00:01:46.000 And so...

00:01:48.000 Audible, if you try it free for 30 days, I guarantee you're going to like it.

00:01:51.000 They have a tremendous selection of fiction and nonfiction.

00:01:55.000 And the one that I'm going to recommend, they wanted me to recommend one, is The War of Art by a guy named Steven Pressfield.

00:02:01.000 And it's a fucking amazing book that really changed my life and made me really understand the roadblocks to being creative and what people do, sort of set themselves up for failure.

00:02:14.000 They create little traps and problems in their creative life.

00:02:18.000 And this book really outlines that better than anything I've ever written.

00:02:21.000 And it's just, to me, one of the most inspirational books that I've ever read.

00:02:27.000 I haven't listened to the audio version of it, but I'm sure it's good.

00:02:30.000 All the audible ones are the shit.

00:02:31.000 It's a really great website, so check it out.

00:02:33.000 We're also brought to you by Onnit.com.

00:02:35.000 If you go to Onnit.com now, you'll see that we have hemp force protein powder in, which is fucking sensational.

00:02:41.000 It does not make you fart nearly as much as whey protein.

00:02:44.000 It's really easy to digest.

00:02:46.000 It's got maca and raw cocoa in it, and the maca is good for your endocrine system.

00:02:51.000 It's supposed to make your dick hard, allegedly.

00:02:55.000 It's never worked for me.

00:02:56.000 I've never eaten Macca and been like, fuck yeah, bitches.

00:02:59.000 But that's one of the things that's supposed to do.

00:03:01.000 It's supposed to increase your libido.

00:03:03.000 And raw cocoa is actually a very strong antioxidant.

00:03:07.000 And it's sweetened with stevia.

00:03:08.000 So it only has one gram of sugar per serving.

00:03:11.000 So it's very low sugar and it tastes fucking fantastic.

00:03:14.000 And it's really good for you.

00:03:15.000 It's called hemp force, protein powder.

00:03:17.000 And we also have kettlebells and battle ropes, along with all the nootropics that we push every week, like Alpha Brain, which I take before every podcast.

00:03:24.000 That's why I talk so much, bitch!

00:03:25.000 So what do you mix with this hemp stuff?

00:03:27.000 Do you just mix it with ice, or do you mix it with almond milk?

00:03:29.000 I use coconut water and a banana.

00:03:31.000 That's what I use.

00:03:32.000 And it's easy to digest.

00:03:34.000 And the vitamins?

00:03:35.000 Yeah, it's so easy to digest.

00:03:38.000 I don't feel like I even ate something.

00:03:41.000 I'm not hungry, but I don't feel like I ate something.

00:03:43.000 It's super easy.

00:03:44.000 Whereas I love, like, muscle milk, and there's a bunch of, like, protein powders that taste awesome.

00:03:49.000 They, like, taste like treats, like dessert.

00:03:51.000 But the shit just makes you fart like crazy.

00:03:54.000 It's all that whey and sugar, and your body's like, what are you doing?

00:03:59.000 Okay!

00:04:00.000 There's a good way to go about it and a bad way to go about it, and the hemp is the best way for me.

00:04:06.000 Plus, you get marijuana street cred, yo.

00:04:08.000 What I'm talking about?

00:04:10.000 Where'd you get these muscles from, son?

00:04:11.000 I'm going to get them shifts from weed, bitch.

00:04:15.000 And if you are interested in nootropics, I suggest that you Google the word nootropic and find out what the fuck it means.

00:04:21.000 Because if you're taking advice from a comedian that used to be the Fear Factor host on anything, I suggest you look deeper.

00:04:28.000 Nootropics are just vitamins.

00:04:30.000 They're vitamins that have been shown to have a positive effect on cognitive function.

00:04:36.000 Essentially, it helps your brain produce more neurotransmitters.

00:04:39.000 It's like the building blocks of nutrition that your brain needs to function at an optimal level.

00:04:45.000 And there's a lot of controversy behind the subject, but I've been a fan of nootropics for years.

00:04:49.000 I've been taking them for years and I absolutely feel the difference when I take them and when I don't.

00:04:53.000 As well as I feel the difference between when I eat really healthy and when I don't.

00:04:56.000 When I have like kale shakes for breakfast in the morning and eat like clean food and make sure I drink a lot of water.

00:05:01.000 I feel different than when I just got off a plane and I've been eating shitty food.

00:05:05.000 It's real obvious.

00:05:07.000 Take care of your body.

00:05:08.000 Get optimum results.

00:05:09.000 So you can be swole like me in Everlast.

00:05:12.000 Get yourself some kettlebells, bitch.

00:05:14.000 If you're interested in the kettlebells, we got them in sale.

00:05:17.000 All different sizes, all different packages.

00:05:18.000 Battle ropes as well.

00:05:20.000 What are battle ropes?

00:05:21.000 Son, you gotta learn.

00:05:22.000 You gotta learn about the battle ropes.

00:05:24.000 Crazy ropes you throw around like Conan the Barbarian.

00:05:27.000 You get one of them impressive physiques.

00:05:29.000 All of it is available at onnit.com.

00:05:31.000 So go check it out.

00:05:32.000 O-N-N-I-T. And use the code name ROGAN. You will save money.

00:05:35.000 10% off any and all supplements.

00:05:38.000 And we also have a 100% money back guarantee on the supplements, especially for the first order, or essentially only, for the first order of 30 pills.

00:05:45.000 We let you try it.

00:05:46.000 And if you don't agree, you don't think that it's worth it, then you don't even have to send it back in to get your money back.

00:05:53.000 And I think that's important because I don't want anybody to feel ripped off.

00:05:56.000 I think the most important thing in selling anything is The most important thing is that you have to sell something of value and people have to appreciate it and enjoy it.

00:06:03.000 And if you're not doing that, if you're squeezing money out of people, I don't want to be involved.

00:06:07.000 There's nothing that we sell that isn't something that I use and enjoy and that I would recommend even if they didn't give me a nickel.

00:06:13.000 Just like I recommend C2O coconut water because it's this shit.

00:06:17.000 All right, that's it.

00:06:18.000 Cue the music.

00:06:19.000 Everlast is here, ladies and gentlemen.

00:06:21.000 We're going to get deep.

00:06:22.000 We're going to break it down for ourselves and for others.

00:06:27.000 For the Feminist Radical Associations of America, Esquire.

00:06:36.000 Yeah, we were talking about feminism and feminists that are angry.

00:06:42.000 It's such a cliche, you know?

00:06:44.000 The angry feminist cliche is a funny one, you know?

00:06:47.000 It's like every man shakes his head and goes, oh Jesus, not one of those?

00:06:52.000 You know, it's a strange designation.

00:06:55.000 It's going to be rough on Twitter for you, dawg.

00:06:57.000 No.

00:06:58.000 They're like Bieber fans, man.

00:07:00.000 Yeah, but they need to relax.

00:07:02.000 We need to be humans, you know?

00:07:03.000 I think people completely misunderstood.

00:07:07.000 We had a podcast the other day, and I got a little shouty.

00:07:11.000 It's a very important issue for me about the idea of censorship.

00:07:18.000 Yeah, I'm familiar.

00:07:19.000 I know the whole story.

00:07:20.000 You know the Tosh story.

00:07:22.000 So for people who didn't know the Tosh story, Tosh, he said something to a woman in the crowd.

00:07:28.000 You know, just responding to, like, he's fucking around with the crowd.

00:07:30.000 Said something like, wouldn't it be funny if she got raped by five people?

00:07:34.000 What it was, someone said, you should joke about rape.

00:07:37.000 He goes on a rant about how rape, well, yeah, what's funny about rape in, like, all the things that aren't funny about rape.

00:07:42.000 And she goes, actually, rape is never funny.

00:07:45.000 So he goes, wouldn't it be funny if five guys raped her?

00:07:48.000 It's funny.

00:07:49.000 I'm sorry.

00:07:49.000 It's unfortunate.

00:07:50.000 And it's, you know, like, it's not the best kind of comedy.

00:07:53.000 You know, the best kind of comedy is there's no victims.

00:07:55.000 Everybody gets out clean.

00:07:56.000 I want to do all rape jokes, one set.

00:07:59.000 15 minutes of rape jokes.

00:08:00.000 Look, rape is not funny, dude.

00:08:02.000 It's just, occasionally, it's the right thing to say.

00:08:07.000 You have to look at comedy as an equation.

00:08:09.000 What's the 10 move there?

00:08:11.000 I'll tell you what the 10 move is.

00:08:12.000 The 10 move is, wouldn't it be funny if somebody raped her?

00:08:16.000 It's the KO punch.

00:08:19.000 I'm a musician, and I feel like you've got to own your stage.

00:08:22.000 A comedian has to do it in a whole different way.

00:08:24.000 Like, literally, a comedian, if you're sensed weak, I mean, it's coming at you from all that.

00:08:29.000 So if you don't make that joke, if you don't show it, okay, here it is.

00:08:33.000 Here's why I really don't want to do it, but fine, here it is.

00:08:38.000 The question of whether he had the right to or not is the stupid question.

00:08:42.000 Of course he did.

00:08:43.000 It's in the environment of stand-up comedy.

00:08:46.000 And somehow or another, everybody has gotten so goddamn oversensitive.

00:08:51.000 Wasn't half of the jokes in Borat rape jokes?

00:08:54.000 Yeah, I'm sure, right?

00:08:56.000 As long as it's dudes getting raped, nobody cares.

00:08:59.000 Dudes can get raped all day.

00:09:00.000 Yeah, you could say, I'm going to rape you to any guy, right?

00:09:03.000 Yeah, it's pretty much nothing.

00:09:04.000 I mean, it sucks if it happens, but...

00:09:06.000 You gave me permission.

00:09:07.000 But it is not the same.

00:09:08.000 And we don't approach it the same.

00:09:10.000 So we don't understand it the same.

00:09:11.000 So I think what they're asking for, if I understand the other side statement, is that they want a higher degree of sensitivity from people.

00:09:21.000 And I say that they're not related.

00:09:23.000 Because it's not about being sensitive.

00:09:24.000 It's about someone saying something absolutely preposterous for humor.

00:09:28.000 It's not about being sensitive.

00:09:30.000 In that environment, in the environment of stand-up comedy, That's an art form.

00:09:34.000 The only way to do it correctly is you gotta go balls out.

00:09:37.000 And what he did is he went balls out.

00:09:39.000 He said, wouldn't it be funny?

00:09:40.000 Isn't that kind of like the whole point of that whole aristocrat joke?

00:09:44.000 Who can be the craziest, stupidest, most outrageous, ridiculous, dumb thing?

00:09:50.000 Who can go there?

00:09:50.000 That joke's a style of comedy.

00:09:52.000 I mean, the idea of that joke, that really complete raunchy, like we had Dice Clay on the podcast yesterday, that over the top, that's like a legitimate art form.

00:10:02.000 And just because you don't like it doesn't mean you should get so fucking shitty about other people practicing that art form.

00:10:09.000 And when you step in and start saying things like, a guy shouldn't have said this certain thing to one certain person in the heat of a moment, I think that's craziness.

00:10:19.000 I think that's just straight fucking nonsense.

00:10:22.000 So all these people are getting upset at me and they get the wrong impression.

00:10:26.000 I'm for everybody being equal.

00:10:29.000 I'm a humanist.

00:10:31.000 I don't like women more than I like men, and I don't like men more than I like women.

00:10:34.000 I like nice people.

00:10:36.000 I like women better than I like men, just for the record.

00:10:38.000 Do you?

00:10:38.000 Yeah.

00:10:39.000 There's a lot of them that are really pretty.

00:10:41.000 Look, what I'm trying to say is we should be humanists.

00:10:45.000 This idea of masculinists, that's fucking nonsense.

00:10:48.000 Can you imagine if I started putting in my Twitter profile that I was a radical masculinist?

00:10:53.000 Bitches would start attacking me.

00:10:54.000 They would think it would be fine to start attacking me.

00:10:56.000 They would just go, what do you have, a small penis?

00:10:58.000 I'm sorry about your penis not working.

00:11:00.000 Whatever it is, find fucking something.

00:11:02.000 Your insecurities, your fucking problems with your father.

00:11:05.000 I'm not here to deal with you.

00:11:07.000 They would find some reason to be mad at you.

00:11:09.000 Joe, if you had to live with one person for the rest of your life, everyone else died except a female or a male, which one would it be?

00:11:14.000 It would be a dude.

00:11:15.000 Really?

00:11:16.000 Yeah.

00:11:17.000 Sorry, Mom.

00:11:20.000 Wow.

00:11:20.000 I don't know, man.

00:11:21.000 One other person in the whole world?

00:11:23.000 Yeah, you have to fucking be with one other person for the rest of your life.

00:11:27.000 No other people in the whole entire world.

00:11:28.000 Just a woman or a man.

00:11:29.000 And this is either, you know, George Clooney or the top-of-the-line female.

00:11:34.000 Well, it doesn't matter.

00:11:35.000 The top-of-the-line female.

00:11:36.000 What matters is her personality.

00:11:38.000 If you're going to deal with a lifelong proposition, the most important thing is that she's an easy-going person you can actually get along with.

00:11:45.000 So that would be the ideal move, is someone who would, you know, be down for fucking.

00:11:50.000 Stay together forever.

00:11:51.000 Joe, you're supposed to say your wife.

00:11:53.000 You're supposed to say that, but that's obvious.

00:11:56.000 I think you would have to really decide how much sex you wanted for the rest of your life.

00:12:02.000 Yeah, I think that's pretty important.

00:12:03.000 That's what it's really all about.

00:12:04.000 You only have one person.

00:12:06.000 I'm going to say my wife.

00:12:08.000 Yeah, of course.

00:12:08.000 You have to.

00:12:09.000 You have to, but it's so obvious.

00:12:12.000 It's so obvious you can't say it.

00:12:13.000 It's like one of those, well, I love my wife, Bob.

00:12:16.000 My wife.

00:12:17.000 The best one is, what's his face?

00:12:22.000 Groucho Marx had a talk show.

00:12:24.000 I think it was You Bet Your Life.

00:12:26.000 And a guy came on and said, where are you from, Bob?

00:12:30.000 And the guy's like, Cincinnati.

00:12:32.000 You have kids?

00:12:33.000 And he's like, I've got six kids.

00:12:35.000 And Groucho Marx goes, wow.

00:12:37.000 And he goes, well, I love my wife.

00:12:38.000 Groucho goes, I love my cigar, but I take it out of my mouth every now and then.

00:12:41.000 Yeah.

00:12:42.000 For back then, that was like no one could believe what he said.

00:12:47.000 They're like, what the fuck?

00:12:49.000 What did you just say?

00:12:51.000 You went crazy.

00:12:52.000 You went crazy.

00:12:54.000 Groucho.

00:12:54.000 He was a bad motherfucker.

00:12:55.000 Is that the show where the bird with the secret word and all that?

00:12:58.000 Yes, yes.

00:12:58.000 Okay, I've seen that.

00:12:59.000 Groucho was such a bad motherfucker.

00:13:01.000 That dude was ahead of his time.

00:13:04.000 That dude was way ahead of his time.

00:13:06.000 Dudes did not get Groucho Marx.

00:13:08.000 He had to tone it down for those fools.

00:13:09.000 Dude duct taped down his mustache.

00:13:12.000 That's so silly.

00:13:13.000 What kind of weird shit was that?

00:13:14.000 Yeah, Groucho Marx was the shit.

00:13:16.000 He was a fucking smart dude, man.

00:13:20.000 See, the idea that the way that, you know, I think not joking about anything is silly.

00:13:26.000 The idea that you could tell a comedian that he can't joke about anything, especially when you absolutely know that they didn't mean that.

00:13:32.000 They absolutely don't mean that someone should get raped.

00:13:36.000 That's not what they...

00:13:37.000 Intent is supposed to be what language is conveying.

00:13:40.000 That's all it's supposed to be.

00:13:41.000 What is going on in my mind?

00:13:42.000 You're pretending that you don't understand the subtleties of the conversation.

00:13:46.000 You're playing stupid so that you can get angry.

00:13:48.000 And I think that is fucking maddening.

00:13:51.000 That shit drives me nuts.

00:13:52.000 They know no one really wants anybody to get raped.

00:13:55.000 So you're playing stupid.

00:13:57.000 You're pretending that it really does mean that, and it's contributing to a whole culture of people believing that.

00:14:03.000 Damn it, bitches.

00:14:04.000 Settle the fuck down.

00:14:06.000 Calm down, Dan.

00:14:08.000 Dan?

00:14:08.000 Yeah.

00:14:09.000 Who's Dan?

00:14:10.000 This guy said I was going to rape at the beginning of the podcast.

00:14:16.000 See, why is that funny?

00:14:17.000 See, you didn't see, Joe, at the beginning of the podcast.

00:14:20.000 When I was on Audible, this thing came up in this chat room.

00:14:23.000 He's like, hi, I'm Dan from Audible, here to help you.

00:14:26.000 Really?

00:14:27.000 And I started texting him, and I'm sorry for what I said.

00:14:30.000 What did you say to him, man?

00:14:31.000 I said I was going to rape him.

00:14:32.000 Did you really say that?

00:14:33.000 Yeah.

00:14:33.000 You did that while we were doing the podcast.

00:14:36.000 I feel bad because right when I did it, I was like, man, I'm too stoned.

00:14:39.000 That was a really bad idea.

00:14:40.000 So Dan, I did not mean it.

00:14:42.000 Yeah, what if Dan's listening, man?

00:14:44.000 It's like, that guy's an asshole.

00:14:46.000 Just made me feel uncomfortable.

00:14:48.000 And then we got a really dumb argument whether or not rape is worse than murder.

00:14:53.000 What's worse, rape or murder?

00:14:54.000 The whole thing was so stupid.

00:14:56.000 What do you think is worse?

00:14:57.000 Rape or murder?

00:14:58.000 Would you rather get raped or murdered?

00:15:00.000 Get the fuck out of here.

00:15:02.000 It's such a stupid...

00:15:03.000 If you're raping me, I better already have been murdered.

00:15:07.000 I'm looking at it like that.

00:15:12.000 Yeah, no shit, right?

00:15:13.000 Save the rape until after I've been murdered.

00:15:16.000 We gotta die eventually.

00:15:18.000 Maybe this is how we go.

00:15:20.000 I was raped, actually, just the other day, man.

00:15:22.000 I had my recent physical.

00:15:24.000 Oh, sucks.

00:15:26.000 Was it a ball or an ass?

00:15:27.000 It was horrible.

00:15:28.000 Isn't it weird that they have to dig in your body?

00:15:32.000 Let me check your prostate.

00:15:36.000 Let's see how freaky you're living.

00:15:38.000 I think it's 60. My dad said that when he turns 60, you have to get a tube in your penis hole just to check your penis hole.

00:15:45.000 Okay, remind me to check out before I'm 60. Well, I think they want to check to see if it's all swollen and fucked up in there.

00:15:51.000 That's why a lot of dudes have to go to the bathroom over 15 minutes.

00:15:54.000 Yeah.

00:15:55.000 That shit ain't good.

00:15:56.000 Can't be fun.

00:15:58.000 Can't be fun.

00:15:58.000 They say that if you beat off, though, you could avoid a lot of that.

00:16:02.000 A lot of dudes just quit beating off.

00:16:03.000 They just tap out.

00:16:04.000 Who are these people?

00:16:06.000 For real.

00:16:06.000 Who are these people not beating off?

00:16:09.000 By the way, that is not a scientific diagnosis.

00:16:13.000 People are like, I hate when he spelt pseudoscience.

00:16:17.000 I'm not saying that that's a fact.

00:16:19.000 But that is what I read on the internet.

00:16:22.000 I'm sure that was written.

00:16:24.000 It was in a sentence.

00:16:25.000 I absorbed it.

00:16:27.000 And I said, alright.

00:16:27.000 There you go.

00:16:28.000 They believe that one way to stop prostate problems is masturbation.

00:16:32.000 Enlargement of the prostate.

00:16:34.000 There you go.

00:16:34.000 So dudes who beat off a lot, they don't have that problem with holding in their pee.

00:16:38.000 So if you see a guy peeing all the time and keeps getting up, he's either doing coke.

00:16:43.000 Come on.

00:16:44.000 Put the sneaky pouch away.

00:16:47.000 Or go jerk one off.

00:16:52.000 The sneaky pouch, man.

00:16:54.000 The sneaky pouch?

00:16:55.000 Gotta sneak off with the sneaky pouch.

00:16:57.000 Is that a flashlight?

00:16:59.000 Is that what you call it?

00:16:59.000 Like a sneaky pouch?

00:17:00.000 No, a little pouch of cocaine.

00:17:01.000 Oh, a sneaky pouch.

00:17:03.000 You take the homie's cocaine and you go to the bathroom and it comes back a little lighter than it went in.

00:17:08.000 Now you have your own sneaky pouch.

00:17:11.000 Isn't that a weird thing when you...

00:17:13.000 Have you ever been at a party and you know there's one dude who has just enough coke for himself, so he's trying to sneak off and do it, but he doesn't want anybody to know.

00:17:20.000 And everybody's like, is this motherfucker on coke?

00:17:22.000 What's going on?

00:17:25.000 Joey Diaz gets so fucking mad if he finds out that you did like...

00:17:30.000 I don't want to say his name, but someone did it to him at his apartment.

00:17:36.000 And he was trying to pretend he wasn't doing coke.

00:17:38.000 He goes, you're going in my fucking bathroom.

00:17:40.000 You're coming out all geeked out.

00:17:42.000 You're not offering me none.

00:17:46.000 It's a weird thing when people want to sneak off and do their drug in quiet.

00:17:51.000 That's when I knew it was bad news.

00:17:53.000 Luckily, I always had a little bit of that heart issue, too, so I never really got deep and involved into any of it.

00:17:58.000 I never fucked with that.

00:17:59.000 A few times when I was really young, and then it was like, oh, I got a problem?

00:18:03.000 Okay, it would probably be a good idea to stay away from coke and meth.

00:18:06.000 It seems like everybody that gets into it, though, really enjoys the shit out of it.

00:18:13.000 I mean, it must be doing something really wild while it's happening because they can't wait to do it again.

00:18:20.000 Fucking terrible for you, though.

00:18:23.000 I'll never forget this.

00:18:23.000 I was on the highway, headed back from Kelly's Roast Beef.

00:18:27.000 I know I've told this story before, but I'm going to tell it again.

00:18:30.000 And this is what I remember of cocaine.

00:18:32.000 There was a car that was right next to us, and the dome light was on.

00:18:35.000 And there was some people moving around in the backseat.

00:18:37.000 And as we're driving up to them, I look over, and it's a girl doing coke, and she looks at me, and she goes, Fuck you!

00:18:44.000 Wow!

00:18:46.000 And that, to me, in my mind, was coke.

00:18:49.000 It was coke.

00:18:51.000 That's funny.

00:18:51.000 Like, some girl is, like, screaming, fuck you, and sticking her finger at me.

00:18:56.000 And I'm in the other car.

00:18:57.000 I didn't say a word.

00:18:58.000 I didn't respond.

00:19:00.000 I just looked at her and went, wow.

00:19:03.000 Fuck that drug.

00:19:05.000 Man, last time I did Coke, it was maybe seven years ago.

00:19:09.000 And the good part about Coke is that it's just women love it.

00:19:13.000 And so, like, I said to, like, one girl, like, oh, I got some Coke.

00:19:17.000 You want to go to the bathroom and do it?

00:19:18.000 We were at this party.

00:19:20.000 And she brought, like, seven of the hottest girls.

00:19:23.000 And we just pretty much sat in the bathroom.

00:19:25.000 These girls just, like, fucking, like, going to the bathroom in front of me and just...

00:19:29.000 We're doing coke with these seven girls.

00:19:31.000 What if they all started blowing you?

00:19:33.000 Would that be the greatest day of your life?

00:19:34.000 That would have been a good part of the story.

00:19:36.000 But then would you be sad that you did coke and then you couldn't get it up?

00:19:39.000 No.

00:19:40.000 I've never had a problem.

00:19:41.000 You know what?

00:19:42.000 I said this the other day.

00:19:42.000 I never had a problem with ever getting a boner on any kind of drug.

00:19:45.000 That's a lie, actually.

00:19:46.000 The one time I couldn't do it was on ecstasy, at the peak of ecstasy.

00:19:51.000 Do you have a really small penis that just fires up at any moment because it takes a lot to load it?

00:19:57.000 No.

00:19:58.000 Is that what it is?

00:19:58.000 No.

00:19:59.000 It just takes one tear drop.

00:20:01.000 Do you remember?

00:20:05.000 Instantly hard from one little tear.

00:20:07.000 Do you remember those old John Holmes movies where homie couldn't get it up?

00:20:10.000 No.

00:20:11.000 Do you remember that?

00:20:11.000 No, I never watched.

00:20:12.000 Most of the John Holmes movies where he's always dealing with a half rubber snake because his dick was huge.

00:20:18.000 It took a lot to get his dick hard and those guys were all on coke.

00:20:21.000 Right.

00:20:21.000 Like, if you talk to the people, like, that were, you know, doing porn back in the day, those guys were all gacked out of their mind, and they were trying to fuck on camera.

00:20:29.000 Right.

00:20:30.000 You know, and it's, if you watch, like, the old porn, like, I did Dave Attell as a show, Dave's Old Porn.

00:20:35.000 Right, right, I've seen it.

00:20:36.000 And if you sit there and watch the old porn, a lot of times, dude had hard-on problems.

00:20:40.000 The dudes are like, dude, they have all these hot chicks blowing them and sucking on his dick, and there was nothing happening.

00:20:45.000 You're like, this must be, for that guy, the most frustrating video.

00:20:49.000 Like, how...

00:20:50.000 Do you imagine if there was all this video of you where someone's just sucking your completely limp dick on camera with his three hot chicks and his lights and cameras and guys are standing there and you just can't get up.

00:21:06.000 Yeah, I couldn't do it in front of all those people.

00:21:07.000 I think that would be the worst part, having just, like, the camera guys and stuff like that.

00:21:10.000 You have to be a sociopath, maybe.

00:21:12.000 Yeah.

00:21:13.000 Or...

00:21:13.000 Yeah, that'd be rough.

00:21:17.000 Yeah.

00:21:17.000 I don't know if I can deal with it.

00:21:18.000 I thought one of the most fascinating chapters in porn was when Tara Patrick married that dude from the...

00:21:24.000 What band was that he was in?

00:21:26.000 Biohazard or something like that.

00:21:27.000 And then the dude started doing porn with her.

00:21:29.000 I was like, wow.

00:21:31.000 That's kind of a...

00:21:32.000 Shit, I'm in that book.

00:21:33.000 Are you in this book?

00:21:35.000 Oh, what are you in?

00:21:38.000 Oh, she just talks about me.

00:21:41.000 Did you have a...

00:21:42.000 Well, let's not go to all TMZ. No.

00:21:45.000 Read the book.

00:21:47.000 Okay.

00:21:47.000 You know?

00:21:48.000 It's a great book, actually.

00:21:49.000 Is it really?

00:21:49.000 Yeah, I read it.

00:21:50.000 It's really good.

00:21:50.000 It's interesting.

00:21:51.000 You really read a book?

00:21:52.000 I really did.

00:21:52.000 Get the fuck out of here.

00:21:53.000 That's the book you read.

00:21:54.000 Get the fuck out of here.

00:21:54.000 That's the book I read.

00:21:56.000 That's why I can't remember Everlast being in here.

00:21:58.000 Get the fuck out of here.

00:22:00.000 It's brief.

00:22:02.000 It was right before who you're talking about.

00:22:05.000 Everlast's huge cock went right into my butt.

00:22:08.000 Do you think that you could ever do that?

00:22:12.000 You couldn't do that.

00:22:14.000 What?

00:22:14.000 Do you think you could do that?

00:22:15.000 What that dude did?

00:22:16.000 No.

00:22:16.000 Just start doing porn with her?

00:22:17.000 No.

00:22:17.000 She's so ridiculously hot, though.

00:22:20.000 She is hot.

00:22:21.000 And you know what?

00:22:22.000 She was in a video of mine, and we met, and I would see her after midnight of a bunch.

00:22:29.000 Wow.

00:22:30.000 And, you know, that was about it.

00:22:32.000 I bet that's awesome.

00:22:33.000 She looks hotter now that she's had a baby, I think.

00:22:35.000 Like, her body is insane now.

00:22:37.000 She's got, like, just more curves or something.

00:22:40.000 She's just amazing.

00:22:41.000 Dude, she's hot as fuck.

00:22:42.000 She's hot as fuck.

00:22:44.000 Thumbs up to you, sir.

00:22:46.000 Son of a bitch.

00:22:47.000 You son of a B! A long time ago.

00:22:50.000 Whatever.

00:22:51.000 She's a nice person.

00:22:51.000 I met her.

00:22:52.000 She's very cool.

00:22:53.000 But anyway, this dude just looked out and started doing porn with her.

00:22:57.000 Like, that's kind of a nutty move, man.

00:22:59.000 You know?

00:23:00.000 Hey, watch me fuck my wife.

00:23:02.000 There's something creepy about that, right?

00:23:03.000 Yeah.

00:23:04.000 Well, the story in the book is...

00:23:06.000 I was kind of fucking around with that broad.

00:23:09.000 Uh-huh.

00:23:10.000 You know, I guess she took it more serious than I did.

00:23:12.000 My wife read the book.

00:23:14.000 Uh-oh.

00:23:14.000 So, no, she was like, everything you said is what she said.

00:23:19.000 Right.

00:23:20.000 Well, that's good.

00:23:20.000 It was just basically, I mean, it was like, you know, booty call basically situation, but I guess on her end it was not, you know, I was more than that or something.

00:23:29.000 You're a special dude, man.

00:23:31.000 You know, whatever.

00:23:33.000 But I get a call on a Sunday morning, and it's dude, Evan, who I've known for years before that, woke me up to declare his love for her.

00:23:41.000 And I was like, wow, whatever, whatever.

00:23:43.000 I hung up the phone, and I called him back because he woke me up.

00:23:46.000 I was like, it's Sunday morning.

00:23:47.000 I was like, you just call me and declare love for your porn girlfriend right now.

00:23:53.000 I was like, it's corny as hell, dawg.

00:23:57.000 It's in the book, man.

00:23:58.000 My wife read it.

00:23:59.000 She told me everything I said is in there.

00:24:01.000 It's corny as hell.

00:24:02.000 I was like, that's pretty fucking corny, dude.

00:24:04.000 That is pretty corny.

00:24:05.000 That is pretty corny.

00:24:07.000 That was the end of that.

00:24:08.000 Well, I guess, though, you would want to do that if, like, dude was your friend.

00:24:12.000 You know?

00:24:13.000 Yeah, it was Sunday morning.

00:24:14.000 I was more mad about it.

00:24:15.000 You fucking woke me up on a Sunday morning?

00:24:19.000 Come on.

00:24:21.000 Lord's death.

00:24:22.000 Yeah, when you fuck on camera, isn't it funny, like, automatically you become, like, if that's your choice, automatically you become, like, you never, it's like a caste system in society.

00:24:32.000 That's like, that's a fuck up you never really get over.

00:24:34.000 You always used to be a porn queen, you know?

00:24:37.000 My wife was a nude model.

00:24:40.000 That's a big difference.

00:24:41.000 Yeah, she never did no triple X. Yeah, it's once people watch you fuck.

00:24:45.000 You can see your body.

00:24:46.000 That's all well and no problems.

00:24:48.000 Yeah, I got no problem with it.

00:24:49.000 It's people watching people fuck.

00:24:51.000 It's strange.

00:24:52.000 And I've always tried to figure out why.

00:24:54.000 It's real weird.

00:24:55.000 My thing would be mostly, I couldn't wife nobody if I had a son with.

00:25:01.000 And 16 years later, when God knows how available all that shit is going to be, it's so easy now to find porn.

00:25:07.000 Yeah.

00:25:09.000 Your kid shows up to you at 12 or whatever.

00:25:11.000 Like, why are all my friends pointing at me showing me pictures of my mom sucking dick?

00:25:16.000 I mean, that'd be just too...

00:25:17.000 I couldn't handle that.

00:25:18.000 Yeah, that would be hard to deal with, for sure.

00:25:21.000 But my real question is, it's really, why are we so weird about our bodies and sex when it's the thing that most people are looking forward to the most?

00:25:30.000 At least most dudes are looking forward to.

00:25:33.000 More than anything, most of the motivation of most men is to try to get the most amount of pussy possible, or the best pussy, or the best wife, the best girlfriend.

00:25:43.000 They want to be a bad motherfucker in order to do well with that.

00:25:47.000 That's a weird desire when you really stop and think about it, how much it consumes And then you get to be around 40 and you start thinking about other shit.

00:25:58.000 Yeah, but what's crazy is that it's like...

00:26:00.000 Unless you got married at like 20 or something, those are the people that...

00:26:04.000 Really freak out when they're at 40. That's why everything's falling apart in the middle of your life.

00:26:06.000 You have too many questions that are unanswered.

00:26:09.000 Yeah, they didn't sow their oats enough.

00:26:11.000 I answered, I'd say 99.9% of any questions I had on those levels, I answered.

00:26:18.000 But my question is, why is it so weird to watch people fuck?

00:26:21.000 If everybody wants to fuck...

00:26:23.000 Why is it so weird?

00:26:26.000 It's way weirder here than it is anywhere else in the world.

00:26:29.000 That's all our hang-ups that we've been hammered in.

00:26:32.000 The whole golden age of the 50s and the modern family and all that have been hammered into our brains.

00:26:39.000 Sex is dirty and rotten.

00:26:42.000 Not rotten, but dirty and nasty and should be conducted behind closed doors and not talked about at all.

00:26:47.000 And only for fornication.

00:26:49.000 Only to create children.

00:26:51.000 It's that old school.

00:26:52.000 We still come from the generation that really believed that.

00:26:56.000 Yeah.

00:26:57.000 Well, when they first landed here, I guess that's what fucked the whole thing up.

00:27:00.000 It's how many religious freaks made the journey because they were being religiously persecuted in England.

00:27:05.000 Which England is not nearly as religious on the whole as America is.

00:27:11.000 So when the Puritans came here...

00:27:13.000 I guess a lot of that shit stuck.

00:27:16.000 Is that what it is?

00:27:17.000 I mean, Puritans was the name because they were hardcore.

00:27:21.000 What a bunch of nuts.

00:27:22.000 So-called living a puritanical lifestyle.

00:27:25.000 Does that make sense?

00:27:26.000 That's why in 2012 we're still hung up?

00:27:29.000 Is it really because of that?

00:27:30.000 That it was formed by those people?

00:27:32.000 No, but then all this, you know, I'm sure there's been many people that have reinforced the psychology for their own benefits and, you know...

00:27:40.000 Yeah, I wonder, with all these cell phones now, by the time kids get to be, like, babies of today, get to be grown women and grown men...

00:27:48.000 We're going to have like...

00:27:50.000 There's going to be everybody...

00:27:51.000 You're probably going to be able to access people's memories.

00:27:55.000 You're probably going to be able to watch porn in some sort of a fucking three-dimensional virtual reality where goggles you put on and you live the scene.

00:28:04.000 People are going to make their own and you're going to be able to find people fucking.

00:28:07.000 We're going to have real problems.

00:28:09.000 There's going to be no privacy.

00:28:10.000 Yeah, it's getting there.

00:28:12.000 And when that comes...

00:28:13.000 I mean, I got my little Mac laptop.

00:28:17.000 I keep a sticker over that camera, dog, whether I'm using it or not.

00:28:21.000 Do you?

00:28:21.000 That's a good idea.

00:28:22.000 I ain't fucking around, man.

00:28:24.000 I believe that, yo, somebody could turn that motherfucker on and just start watching you.

00:28:29.000 And there's hundreds of hours of you beating off.

00:28:31.000 Especially the cell phones and the microphone on your phone.

00:28:34.000 I'm sure there's somebody that could just sit there and be like, turn on camera, turn on microphone.

00:28:37.000 What's going on right now?

00:28:39.000 That's crazy.

00:28:39.000 And if they haven't done it yet, they're probably going to do it.

00:28:42.000 I bet they have.

00:28:43.000 Yeah, probably.

00:28:44.000 You just got a lot of me beaten off.

00:28:45.000 That's all you got.

00:28:46.000 Good luck with that, you creep.

00:28:49.000 You want to release that, you creeper?

00:28:55.000 We're so strange because we wear clothes, you know?

00:28:58.000 I think we would have a totally different attitude if we were naked all the time.

00:29:00.000 Well, let's try it out.

00:29:01.000 Come on, guys.

00:29:01.000 But it's just a weird thing.

00:29:02.000 We've evolved.

00:29:04.000 What kind of a fucking animal evolves to the point where you could barely exist in the world without being covered by something?

00:29:12.000 Barely.

00:29:13.000 If you just walk around naked everywhere, dude, you're going to get fucked up.

00:29:17.000 You're not going to make it through that.

00:29:18.000 You're going to get sunburned.

00:29:20.000 Your skin is weak as shit.

00:29:22.000 You're going to get bit by things.

00:29:23.000 You'll get all infected and fucked up.

00:29:25.000 It tears easy.

00:29:25.000 You might bleed to death.

00:29:27.000 What was that survival show recently where they had the two guys that were survivalists but they were kind of opposite spectrum dudes?

00:29:34.000 One was a total fucking hippie dude.

00:29:36.000 One was like a marine.

00:29:37.000 Yeah, dual survivors.

00:29:39.000 The hippie dude never wore shoes, and he only wore shorts and a tank top, and that's how he did his thing.

00:29:46.000 I mean, I think you could re-adapt back to being able to live like that, but it wouldn't be no instantaneous move.

00:29:55.000 But it would suck.

00:29:56.000 It would suck bad.

00:29:57.000 It would suck hard.

00:29:57.000 There's no fun in looking for bugs to eat while you're walking barefoot in the jungle.

00:30:01.000 Yeah, man, your feet will start hurting quick, man, because shoes are nice.

00:30:04.000 It is nice that they would know how to survive if the shit hit the fan.

00:30:07.000 But if the shit hits the fan, what are the odds of you living?

00:30:09.000 What are the odds of you living?

00:30:11.000 If the shit really hits the fan, I mean, you're talking about extinction events, you're talking about the real potential events, things that have happened unquestionably documented all throughout history.

00:30:22.000 They've found super volcanoes and All sorts of fucking meteor impacts.

00:30:29.000 And there's all these records of them they're discovering just now, like 12,000 years ago.

00:30:33.000 They know there was a huge meteor shower that hit the world because this impact glass exists on the same strata, like when they dig and make core samples.

00:30:44.000 It exists in the same area all throughout the world about 12,000 years ago.

00:30:48.000 They got fucked up 12,000 years ago.

00:30:51.000 Right.

00:30:51.000 Giant fucking asteroids coming through the sky, millions of people dead probably.

00:30:55.000 I think if that kind of shit happens, you're lucky if you get whacked.

00:30:59.000 That's what I think.

00:31:00.000 You want to be running around eating people's dogs?

00:31:02.000 You want to be running around trying to purify people's sewage?

00:31:05.000 I'd trip on the fact that it wouldn't even take something that crazy.

00:31:09.000 I keep telling people, let the lights go out.

00:31:11.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:31:12.000 Let the power just shut down.

00:31:14.000 Yeah.

00:31:14.000 Absolutely.

00:31:15.000 Last time I was here, I think it happened.

00:31:17.000 I was like, oh, that might be it, man.

00:31:18.000 I might have to make a run for the guns right now, dog.

00:31:21.000 I have a whole joke about how little we know about the power, but how much we need it.

00:31:26.000 I mean, it's so important.

00:31:28.000 No one even thinks about the fact there's essentially a force of nature that pulses through your fucking house all day.

00:31:35.000 Oh, yeah.

00:31:36.000 I was in New York City when that big East Coast blackout happened, man.

00:31:40.000 That was, like, crazy, like, tension because, you know, the whole city thought it was something, you know, the next wave of whatever was coming at them.

00:31:48.000 Oh, Jesus.

00:31:49.000 Because you don't get no news.

00:31:50.000 I mean, I walked around New York, I remember, just because we knew.

00:31:54.000 I remember what happened when I plugged something in my hotel room, something plugged into the wall.

00:31:58.000 A few seconds later, the power went out.

00:31:59.000 I was like, oh, did I overload my room or something?

00:32:02.000 And then I go out in the hall and it's out.

00:32:03.000 Going downstairs, I realized the whole freaking city's out.

00:32:05.000 We went to Times Square just to look at everything that was out.

00:32:09.000 It was crazy, man.

00:32:10.000 Wow.

00:32:10.000 That would be crazy.

00:32:11.000 And then work let out.

00:32:13.000 The streets were just flooded with people.

00:32:15.000 But the funniest thing to me was instantly, dudes were outside of their little bodegas selling bottles of water for three times what they cost.

00:32:23.000 Oh, wow.

00:32:23.000 Like, hey, $7 for a bottle of Evian here.

00:32:26.000 Really?

00:32:26.000 You know, like this.

00:32:27.000 Oh, yeah, man.

00:32:28.000 It was crazy.

00:32:29.000 And then there's the other half.

00:32:31.000 Then you walk up the street and you see the dude who's just directing traffic because nobody else is.

00:32:36.000 Wow.

00:32:37.000 It was crazy, man.

00:32:38.000 It was a wild day.

00:32:39.000 Yeah, some dudes look forward to shit like that so they can stay in the street and just tell cars where to go.

00:32:43.000 That's cool that people didn't go crazy to that because that would be my fear that everyone would just be like...

00:32:47.000 Nah, it was a pretty...

00:32:48.000 That's more of an L.A. move.

00:32:49.000 It was a pretty...

00:32:50.000 I mean, there was tension.

00:32:52.000 Like, what happened?

00:32:53.000 Everybody was asking, what happened?

00:32:55.000 What's going on?

00:32:56.000 Every once in a while, somebody's cell phone will work.

00:32:58.000 But I remember thinking, that was the day I realized, all that has to happen is the lights go out.

00:33:03.000 And then you'd walk down the street to the deli that starts selling the food for almost half off because it's spoiling.

00:33:10.000 The stuff that's in the fridge.

00:33:11.000 Anything in the fridge, come on, take it, please.

00:33:14.000 But yet charging seven bucks for water.

00:33:17.000 You know what I mean?

00:33:19.000 The whole idea of cities is a strange thing.

00:33:21.000 People's mentalities would break down quick, Joe.

00:33:24.000 Oh, yeah.

00:33:24.000 It would get tribal.

00:33:25.000 It would get Lord of the Flies real quick.

00:33:27.000 Real quick.

00:33:28.000 The only way cities work is if there's power gone.

00:33:30.000 Because if not, then it becomes a detriment.

00:33:32.000 Then it becomes way too many people and no resources.

00:33:35.000 When you're in the country, at least you can go fishing.

00:33:38.000 You know, you're in a city.

00:33:39.000 Where are you going to get your food?

00:33:40.000 What the fuck?

00:33:41.000 Where's the food, man?

00:33:42.000 There ain't no food coming in.

00:33:43.000 And it's instant.

00:33:44.000 It goes away.

00:33:45.000 Because really, it needs to be, like, pushed in constantly.

00:33:49.000 We got this weird, crazy anthill sort of situation going.

00:33:53.000 We need to fill that motherfucker up with something we can digest to keep moving.

00:33:58.000 Cities are strange.

00:34:00.000 So if you were an alien...

00:34:01.000 And then, what about when nobody's picking up the trash every day?

00:34:05.000 Yeah.

00:34:05.000 It's true.

00:34:06.000 So you got both angles going on at the same time pretty soon.

00:34:09.000 It's nuts.

00:34:10.000 Insane.

00:34:11.000 I was there in Harlem when there was some sort of a strike with the garbage men.

00:34:18.000 So they didn't pick up for a long time, dude.

00:34:21.000 And there was, and I'm not bullshitting, seven, eight, nine foot high stacks of garbage bags on the street.

00:34:28.000 So you would have a narrow area to walk and to the left would be nine foot high garbage For like a fucking half a block.

00:34:35.000 It was insane.

00:34:37.000 And rats were everywhere.

00:34:39.000 Big, fat, juicy rats running everywhere.

00:34:43.000 And you're like, whoa, people are living around this?

00:34:45.000 Like, this is insane.

00:34:47.000 That's right underneath.

00:34:47.000 That's going on, pulsing underneath it the whole time.

00:34:50.000 Has that ever happened on the Upper East Side or the Upper West Side?

00:34:54.000 Have they ever had a garbage strike?

00:34:55.000 I've never even heard of that.

00:34:56.000 I think in the 70s or something, there was a city-wide one that was pretty famous.

00:35:00.000 Is that what it is?

00:35:01.000 I think so.

00:35:02.000 I don't know when this was.

00:35:04.000 I don't know what was causing them to not pick up the garbage.

00:35:06.000 I don't know what it was, but it was somewhere in the 1990s, the early 90s, like maybe 90 or 91. I vaguely remember something about it.

00:35:13.000 But it was crazy.

00:35:14.000 I couldn't believe it.

00:35:16.000 I was like, what the fuck?

00:35:17.000 You would want to get out of here as quick as possible if some shit went down.

00:35:21.000 This is the worst place to be.

00:35:23.000 It's crazy, man.

00:35:25.000 How the fuck did it get like that, where everybody's stacked on top of each other?

00:35:30.000 Just keep going straight up.

00:35:31.000 If you listen to the internets and the whole Illuminatis and all that, we're all in the perfect area for them to just wipe us all out.

00:35:42.000 It's like nobody lives in the country anymore.

00:35:45.000 Have a rich people go to the country day.

00:35:49.000 I've never understood the whole...

00:35:50.000 Hey, all the rich people go to the country.

00:35:53.000 Hamptons Day.

00:35:55.000 I've never understood the whole rich people wanting to wipe people out thing.

00:35:59.000 I've always felt like if you were a rich person, you would need people to buy your stuff, whatever you're selling.

00:36:04.000 You need people for resources.

00:36:06.000 What are you doing?

00:36:07.000 If you kill people, where are you going to make your money?

00:36:10.000 That doesn't seem to make any sense.

00:36:12.000 It doesn't seem like a good Illuminati movie.

00:36:14.000 I also saw a stat recently that was like, You know, how they say the world's overcrowded and whatnot, or overpopulated.

00:36:21.000 And I could be tripping, but I'm pretty sure I saw a stat somewhere that said all the people in the world would fit in the state of Texas.

00:36:28.000 Yeah.

00:36:28.000 Really?

00:36:29.000 Yeah.

00:36:29.000 Like elbow room.

00:36:32.000 Like, you know, we'd all be able to stand in the state of Texas, like all the people on the planet right now.

00:36:36.000 I don't know how crazy that is, but I know I saw it somewhere.

00:36:39.000 Well, if you look at us and compare it to any other animal, we've populated really every single part of the world.

00:36:44.000 We've figured out a way to not just get there.

00:36:46.000 No, but look at America, though.

00:36:47.000 It's really like West Coast, a gang of people.

00:36:50.000 East Coast, a whole gang of people.

00:36:52.000 And in the middle, you know, come on.

00:36:54.000 We tour for a living, dog.

00:36:56.000 I mean, I'm not saying there's not people.

00:36:58.000 But it's much more relaxed.

00:36:59.000 Yes, and it's a whole different kind of life.

00:37:01.000 Yeah.

00:37:02.000 It's like I've always found it going five years backwards.

00:37:06.000 Right, right, right.

00:37:06.000 Like, when you step out of the East or West Coast.

00:37:09.000 Just, you know, not in a disrespectful way.

00:37:10.000 I'm just saying it's like, they're not as anxious and quick to be on the, you know, it's like, no, we like what's going on.

00:37:16.000 We'll slowly make moves on the things we like kind of thing.

00:37:19.000 Denver's one of my favorite cities because Denver is like part city and part country.

00:37:24.000 It's part, like, mountain people.

00:37:26.000 It's like a big community of mountain people.

00:37:28.000 Yeah, it's all the mountain people that got halfway and said, you know what?

00:37:31.000 This is good enough.

00:37:32.000 We're good.

00:37:33.000 We're good.

00:37:34.000 We got some strong weed.

00:37:34.000 We got some mountains.

00:37:36.000 This is good right here.

00:37:37.000 Bobby just killed an elk.

00:37:38.000 Yeah, we're good.

00:37:39.000 Let's wait here.

00:37:40.000 Why are we fucking around?

00:37:41.000 Do you see how many elk are out here?

00:37:42.000 We're waiting for an ocean.

00:37:43.000 This is a good spot, man.

00:37:44.000 I see mountains.

00:37:44.000 I don't even see an ocean.

00:37:45.000 Yeah.

00:37:46.000 I'm a big fan of the ocean.

00:37:47.000 I love looking at it, but it can't fuck with the mountains.

00:37:50.000 The mountains are some crazy shit.

00:37:51.000 You take mountains before ocean?

00:37:53.000 All day, son.

00:37:55.000 All day.

00:37:57.000 Have you ever been to Evergreen, Colorado?

00:38:00.000 Mountains with a lake?

00:38:03.000 Mountains with a lake.

00:38:04.000 In the last few years, I've played at a couple festivals in Switzerland.

00:38:07.000 One called Montreux Jazz Festival is pretty famous.

00:38:10.000 And then this other one called the Blue Boss Festival.

00:38:12.000 It's hilarious.

00:38:13.000 But it's in a place called Luzerne, man.

00:38:15.000 And they're both on lakes.

00:38:18.000 It's crazy.

00:38:19.000 I could live there easily.

00:38:21.000 Every time I'm there, I'm like, yo, I need some stuff.

00:38:23.000 I need to be balling out of control with a private jet and some of them Swiss francs, man.

00:38:28.000 I need to be over in Switzerland doing it.

00:38:30.000 The problem is, man, to make that kind of money, unless you're an entertainer, someone's getting fucked over.

00:38:35.000 Unless you're an entertainer or you're selling something really cool.

00:38:38.000 That's why everybody's hiding their money, too.

00:38:40.000 Yeah.

00:38:40.000 That's why I say keep it pretty.

00:38:42.000 Yeah, hide it in the Cayman Islands.

00:38:44.000 They don't let you come in there and fuck around.

00:38:45.000 Joe, your old place, remember when I used to say it, it looked like a trapper keeper.

00:38:49.000 You remember those things you would have in school that you put your notebooks in?

00:38:54.000 They would have always a beautiful picture of a mountain and a scenic lake and stuff like that.

00:39:00.000 That's what your house looked like.

00:39:02.000 Oh, the Colorado place?

00:39:03.000 Yeah, it was ridiculous.

00:39:04.000 It was unbelievably beautiful.

00:39:06.000 You'd look out the back window and you'd go, I can't believe they let me stay here.

00:39:09.000 This is crazy.

00:39:10.000 I can't believe people are allowed to be here.

00:39:12.000 It was just too silly.

00:39:13.000 You're in the mountains, like literally in the mountains.

00:39:16.000 But you're around there with everything.

00:39:18.000 You're seeing porcupines every day and deer all day.

00:39:21.000 All day.

00:39:22.000 I was getting deer back here up in the hills.

00:39:25.000 Really?

00:39:25.000 All day, up and down.

00:39:27.000 Yeah, Pasadena has bears, man.

00:39:29.000 They had bears jumping into people's swimming pools recently.

00:39:31.000 See, I always like to live somewhere, because we were talking about craziness, man.

00:39:36.000 I like to live places that have resources, other than like, okay, well, if things went really bad, I can walk right out of my backyard, march down that mountain, and go find me a...

00:39:44.000 A deer, yeah.

00:39:45.000 Something, you know?

00:39:46.000 Well, I've always said Ted Nugent is living the best.

00:39:49.000 You know what he does?

00:39:50.000 He has a high-fence place where he has, like, thousands of acres and they're all fenced in.

00:39:54.000 And he's essentially got wild game running around his whole fucking giant ranch.

00:39:58.000 And he just sets up stands.

00:40:00.000 He's got, like, feeders so they know where the animals are going to come.

00:40:03.000 And it's essentially shooting fish in a bucket.

00:40:05.000 And he has to shoot a certain amount of them just to manage it.

00:40:08.000 Because it's got a certain amount of land.

00:40:10.000 You have to monitor how many sheep you have, how many deer you have.

00:40:15.000 But that is way healthier and way smarter than going to a fucking supermarket.

00:40:19.000 I mean, he gets to see the animal before he shoots it.

00:40:22.000 He does all the butchering himself.

00:40:24.000 He makes the cuts of meat.

00:40:25.000 He grows his vegetables.

00:40:27.000 This dude doesn't need shit.

00:40:29.000 That's really the way to go.

00:40:31.000 He's got guns.

00:40:32.000 He's got guns and he doesn't need shit.

00:40:34.000 He can eat from his yard.

00:40:35.000 And if the bullets run out, he got bows and arrows.

00:40:37.000 Yeah!

00:40:38.000 He uses the bows and arrows more than he uses the guns.

00:40:40.000 He's always bow hunting, man.

00:40:42.000 The nuge.

00:40:44.000 Yeah, he's a crazy fuck when it comes to war.

00:40:46.000 But I'll tell you what, when it comes to living your life sustainably, that motherfucker's got it nailed.

00:40:51.000 When it comes to, he's right about hunting.

00:40:54.000 People are crazy to think that hunting is bad.

00:40:57.000 Because you either want one of two things.

00:40:58.000 You either want hunting or you want to be hunted.

00:41:01.000 Because that's the only way you keep the deer population down.

00:41:03.000 You have one of two options.

00:41:04.000 Either you're going to hunt the deer or you're going to put mountain lions out there that eat deer.

00:41:09.000 And anything that eats deer can eat you, motherfucker.

00:41:11.000 Oh, yeah.

00:41:12.000 And eat you a lot easier than it is to eat a deer.

00:41:13.000 Every once in a while you'd hear about it back here.

00:41:15.000 Like, oh, there was a little...

00:41:16.000 People that don't want hunting.

00:41:19.000 A little medium-sized dog getting snatched out of a backyard by a mountain lion.

00:41:22.000 Check out those.

00:41:24.000 Pasadena Bears.

00:41:28.000 For the folks at home, these are the gay bears.

00:41:31.000 Oh, wow.

00:41:32.000 It's a term for gay dudes who are hairy who fuck each other.

00:41:35.000 It's like a lot of Bert Kreischer's everywhere.

00:41:38.000 That is the Google search.

00:41:40.000 It's really Bert if you did roids.

00:41:42.000 Right.

00:41:43.000 Like a hairy Bert.

00:41:44.000 Well, you're pretty fucking hairy too, mister.

00:41:46.000 Oh, yeah?

00:41:46.000 Yeah, you'd make a good bear.

00:41:48.000 If you got on sauce and started doing some heavy squats, you'd be a good bear.

00:41:53.000 Wow.

00:41:53.000 I would be.

00:41:54.000 So a bear and her cubs were drinking out of some lady's pool recently.

00:41:57.000 I saw that on the news.

00:41:59.000 Crazy, huh?

00:42:01.000 This is, you know, Pasadena is only an hour, not even an hour, an hour from Arrowhead.

00:42:06.000 Arrowhead is, you know...

00:42:07.000 Yeah, it's right down there.

00:42:08.000 It's like 40 minutes away, 45 minutes away?

00:42:10.000 Something like that.

00:42:10.000 Which is legit wilderness.

00:42:13.000 I mean, that is...

00:42:13.000 Well, I mean, there's Pasadena and then there's Altadena, which is obviously the hills above Pasadena.

00:42:18.000 And then beyond that is just wild mountains.

00:42:20.000 Wild mountains.

00:42:21.000 So the minute you step two miles from here, you're in the woods.

00:42:27.000 Yeah, it's true.

00:42:29.000 Yeah, this is a different sort of area, Pasadena is, than the rest of LA. They say that what Pasadena was was in the 20s.

00:42:38.000 Like a resort town.

00:42:40.000 There was a railroad that went up to Altadena and all these rich folks had their little sort of like Hampton thing going on up there.

00:42:49.000 What is the atmosphere like now?

00:42:51.000 Because Pasadena has more crime now than I think it's ever had before.

00:42:56.000 Altadena is like the Beverly Hills of Pasadena.

00:42:59.000 Is it really?

00:43:01.000 The crazy thing is there's always a lot of movies getting shot because none of the houses are the same.

00:43:05.000 They're like Spanish style next to a colonial style.

00:43:07.000 So they can make it look like anywhere in America.

00:43:11.000 So it's all older houses from Hollywood people that made them?

00:43:17.000 How did they get melt out here?

00:43:18.000 What they were telling me was that Pasadena was where the studio producers and people would live, where the actors would live in the Hollywood Hills.

00:43:26.000 Right.

00:43:26.000 Well, Altadena is what I'm talking about.

00:43:28.000 In the 20s, I believe it was.

00:43:30.000 In the 20s and 30s, it was like a little resort area.

00:43:34.000 You can see some of those houses that are for sale online in Altadena.

00:43:37.000 They've got some really old houses.

00:43:39.000 Turn of the century houses.

00:43:41.000 It's crazy shit, man.

00:43:44.000 It's a good area, man.

00:43:45.000 Yeah, I love the idea of living right next to animals.

00:43:48.000 Peacocks and deer.

00:43:50.000 Was it Altadena where the lady had the mountain lion sitting in her front driveway?

00:43:55.000 Probably.

00:43:55.000 And she was taking pictures of it?

00:43:57.000 It might have been Altadena.

00:43:58.000 I think it was.

00:43:59.000 Yeah, it was really recently.

00:44:02.000 If it wasn't Altadena, it was real close to that.

00:44:04.000 With some ladies in her fucking driveway and there's a mountain lion just lying there.

00:44:08.000 Just chilling.

00:44:09.000 Yeah, I think I saw that.

00:44:10.000 Just enjoying himself.

00:44:11.000 Just chilling.

00:44:12.000 I've been gone most of the summer, though.

00:44:16.000 Do you ever think about living anywhere else, like any other part of the country?

00:44:20.000 I like Nashville.

00:44:22.000 Nashville's great.

00:44:24.000 You drive 10 minutes anywhere outside of downtown and you're in the country.

00:44:30.000 You're in the country.

00:44:32.000 You can go out your back door and shoot stuff.

00:44:36.000 Yeah.

00:44:36.000 You can shoot your guns.

00:44:37.000 I went and sat with this one cat and was playing guitar with him one night because he had a little something for me to partake of.

00:44:48.000 So we were playing guitar together and he was like, we can go outside and shoot some guns.

00:44:52.000 He was renting a place and told me it was for sale and it was like 25 acres.

00:44:59.000 And like, you know, a house and all this.

00:45:01.000 Three, two barns.

00:45:03.000 And I was like, how much?

00:45:04.000 He was like, oh, like six.

00:45:05.000 And I was like, and my brain was like six million.

00:45:07.000 I was like, yeah, wow, six million.

00:45:09.000 I was like, man, that's a pretty good price.

00:45:11.000 He was like, nah, man, like six hundred thousand.

00:45:13.000 I was like, are you shitting me?

00:45:16.000 I was like, yo, man, I might have to do that one day.

00:45:19.000 Just get an extra house.

00:45:20.000 Grab me a spot out there.

00:45:22.000 Grab a ranch, man.

00:45:23.000 Yeah, man, for sure.

00:45:25.000 You know what else is great?

00:45:26.000 Asheville, North Carolina.

00:45:28.000 You ever been up there?

00:45:29.000 I don't know if I've been particularly there.

00:45:32.000 I've been to North Carolina many times.

00:45:33.000 I've only looked at it online, but apparently it's like this really cool spot in the mountains where it's a small population, a lot of stoners.

00:45:44.000 A lot of musicians and really cool people, and they're living in one of the most picturesque parts of the world.

00:45:52.000 Like the mountains, like the Asheville, North Carolina, that whole area.

00:45:55.000 Asheville, I'm going to have to check it out.

00:45:56.000 Look at it online.

00:45:56.000 Oh, dude.

00:45:57.000 It's ridiculous.

00:45:58.000 Just lakes and trees and shit.

00:46:00.000 Same kind of property.

00:46:02.000 Yeah.

00:46:02.000 Oh, yeah, man.

00:46:04.000 Sure, Asheville itself, it's probably...

00:46:06.000 A little more expensive.

00:46:08.000 But outside of it, man, you can get giant chunks of land, man.

00:46:12.000 You can get just beautiful setups.

00:46:14.000 Houses on lakes and shit.

00:46:16.000 Can you shoot your guns outside?

00:46:17.000 I'm sure if you have a certain amount of acreage.

00:46:20.000 There's a show, Mountain Man, that I watch.

00:46:22.000 One of the dudes is in North Carolina.

00:46:23.000 I haven't watched that, but I've seen the commercials for it.

00:46:25.000 It's the shit.

00:46:27.000 Yeah, well, if you're interested in this subject...

00:46:29.000 Well, my favorite show on TV is the one where they hunt the gators.

00:46:33.000 Swamp people.

00:46:35.000 Swamp people.

00:46:36.000 And a perfect example of why hunting should exist.

00:46:38.000 If those guys didn't hunt the gators they hunted every year, gators would be eating a lot of children.

00:46:43.000 There'd be a lot more gators.

00:46:44.000 Wow, look at Asheville.

00:46:45.000 That's insane.

00:46:46.000 Yeah, that's Asheville.

00:46:47.000 I mean, come on, son.

00:46:48.000 Are you kidding me?

00:46:49.000 That water.

00:46:50.000 It's paradise up there.

00:46:51.000 It's fucking paradise.

00:46:52.000 Yeah.

00:46:53.000 I mean, I would have to see what it would be like, but I would think about living in a place like that.

00:46:57.000 I need to be parlaying on them private jets and hanging out with them hedge fund type motherfuckers, man, you know?

00:47:02.000 Gotta get in time with them for tickets.

00:47:03.000 Any hedge fund motherfuckers that need, you know, their bat mitzvah or bar mitzvah played, you know what I mean?

00:47:07.000 I'm just trying to get down and be your homie, you know?

00:47:09.000 I won't come at you too tough.

00:47:12.000 Just throw some of that advice at me, you know?

00:47:14.000 He helped me get into the fast lane.

00:47:16.000 I'm stacking my chips, but it's slow grind.

00:47:19.000 I'm looking for that hedge fund dude that, like, I like Everlast.

00:47:22.000 I want to smoke some dope with that.

00:47:24.000 Where you at?

00:47:25.000 Holler.

00:47:26.000 That's what I'm talking about.

00:47:27.000 You don't want that money, bro.

00:47:29.000 You want the money that you're making.

00:47:30.000 You don't want that hedge fund money.

00:47:32.000 That money smells like blood.

00:47:33.000 Yeah.

00:47:34.000 Yeah, but you know what?

00:47:36.000 Buy a lot of soap.

00:47:39.000 Soap.

00:47:40.000 Soap.

00:47:41.000 Buy a lot of detergent.

00:47:43.000 You know what's really going to bum me out, man?

00:47:46.000 It sounds crazy, but when they stop making real engines for cars, you know?

00:47:51.000 A friend of mine had a Prius, and I know it's the future.

00:47:54.000 I know it's progress.

00:47:56.000 The thing makes no noise, it's electric, it's awesome on gas, uses less resources.

00:48:01.000 God damn, it was boring as he drove away.

00:48:03.000 I was like, listen to what the fuck that sounds like.

00:48:05.000 Are we going to not enjoy driving anymore?

00:48:08.000 Is it really going to get to that at some point?

00:48:09.000 I think they're still always going to probably do it.

00:48:12.000 There's going to be one company, like Porsche, that's going to be like, we're always going to make...

00:48:17.000 I wonder if they'll be allowed to, because they're putting all sorts of crazy restrictions on them as far as the future, like what they're going to have to be able to do as far as emissions.

00:48:26.000 That's why a lot of companies are forced to go to turbocharging, because the emission standards are so high.

00:48:32.000 They're going to lose the thrill of what an engine is like.

00:48:36.000 Whenever you come over here, I get car envy.

00:48:38.000 I love that fucking car you drive.

00:48:39.000 That Audi.

00:48:40.000 Come on, dude.

00:48:41.000 We could trade up for a week or something.

00:48:42.000 Dope car.

00:48:44.000 You've got to get a real clutch, though.

00:48:46.000 A real manual transmission, bro.

00:48:48.000 Those little paddle shifters.

00:48:49.000 I love the paddle shifters.

00:48:51.000 It's fun.

00:48:52.000 Not a car like that, son.

00:48:53.000 In Los Angeles, you can't fucking have...

00:48:55.000 If it's going to be the only car you drive, absolutely.

00:48:58.000 Yeah, and I'm just...

00:49:00.000 That car was an impulse buy, man.

00:49:03.000 I went into the spot...

00:49:05.000 I was mad at BMW because they had jacked up their price on the 7 Series, and I was mad.

00:49:11.000 It went from $80 to $110 or something.

00:49:14.000 I was just like, man.

00:49:16.000 I was like, okay.

00:49:17.000 I was just going to go look at some other things.

00:49:21.000 I looked at a bunch of other cars.

00:49:23.000 I looked at an Audi, and I looked at a Bentley, and I looked at all these other cars.

00:49:27.000 It was just weak sauce to me.

00:49:29.000 Right.

00:49:29.000 Boring.

00:49:30.000 And this was a row of dealers of all these cars.

00:49:33.000 It's right here, actually.

00:49:34.000 I won't mention them because they ain't paying me.

00:49:38.000 But, you know, it's always fun.

00:49:40.000 But to get back out to where my car was, I had to walk back in through the Audi dealership, and that's when I saw that they had an all-white R8 in the corner, and I just went over looking at it like, wow, that's kind of sharp, you know?

00:49:50.000 And the kid came over and started talking to me, and he was like, yeah, I got a black-on-black one out back.

00:49:55.000 You know, I was like, I know I'm not going to buy this car, but yeah, sure.

00:49:59.000 Sure, show it to me, man.

00:50:00.000 You know, show it to me.

00:50:01.000 He's like, you want to take it for a spin?

00:50:03.000 I was like, oh, I could drive it?

00:50:04.000 He's like, no, I could take you for a spin, though.

00:50:06.000 I was like, oh, yeah, okay.

00:50:07.000 I was like, well, whatever, let's go.

00:50:08.000 I got time to kill.

00:50:09.000 He took me for a spin, took me up to back where the Rose Bowl is, and then pulled the car over and got out.

00:50:14.000 He tried to kiss you, didn't he?

00:50:16.000 No, no.

00:50:17.000 I was worried though for a second because he pulled the car over, man.

00:50:20.000 He pulled the car over.

00:50:20.000 I was like, what are you doing, man?

00:50:22.000 Then he got out the car and he's like, yo, go ahead.

00:50:23.000 You can drive the car.

00:50:24.000 That was the smartest thing he ever did because I took that car for like 15 minutes.

00:50:28.000 It just went nuts.

00:50:30.000 Did you ever have a car like that before?

00:50:32.000 No.

00:50:33.000 Not like a sport car like that.

00:50:35.000 Way back when the 850 first came out for the BMW, I had that.

00:50:40.000 That can't fuck with what you got.

00:50:41.000 No, no, no.

00:50:42.000 I drove 7 Series for all the rest of that time.

00:50:46.000 That's what I did.

00:50:47.000 I'd always have a truck and I'd have my little BMW 7. Well, your car is a mid-engine car, and that layout is the best layout as far as handling feel and balance.

00:50:57.000 That's such a great balance car.

00:50:58.000 It's on rails, man.

00:50:59.000 Yeah, the engine is actually in front of the rear wheels.

00:51:02.000 So it just rides like a fucking dream.

00:51:05.000 It just rides like a dream.

00:51:06.000 It's fun.

00:51:07.000 It's a beautiful car.

00:51:08.000 It's a spaceship.

00:51:09.000 I got the 8. I didn't get the 10 because that's the car they had right there, right there.

00:51:13.000 And I said, give it to me.

00:51:14.000 I want this car right now.

00:51:15.000 Realistically, you don't need that 10. And if you want...

00:51:18.000 We're saying 8-cylinder over 10-cylinder.

00:51:19.000 But if you wanted to, there's a company that puts a supercharger on the 8 and makes it more powerful than the V10. And it doesn't cost that much.

00:51:29.000 And it's safe.

00:51:29.000 And they know what the fuck they're doing.

00:51:31.000 They've been doing it for a long time.

00:51:31.000 I just like the way, like you're saying, the way it growls.

00:51:34.000 Yeah.

00:51:34.000 Oh, it sounds awesome.

00:51:35.000 It's not like that, man.

00:51:35.000 It's nice.

00:51:36.000 The supercharger will add a little extra wine to it.

00:51:38.000 That keeps the little boy in me alive.

00:51:40.000 You know what I mean?

00:51:40.000 Yeah.

00:51:41.000 Yeah.

00:51:41.000 It's fun, right?

00:51:43.000 I'm telling you, I have one of those Shelby GT500 Mustangs.

00:51:47.000 You know what those are?

00:51:49.000 It's one of the newer ones.

00:51:51.000 And the sound of it alone, I swear to God, it just gives me a smile.

00:51:55.000 It makes me smile when I hit the gas and I shift the gears just to hear that engine roar.

00:52:00.000 I think for men, I don't think anyone has ever fully documented it, but I think there's a physiological thing that happens when you hear a strong engine.

00:52:09.000 I think there's something happening to your body.

00:52:11.000 It makes you actually feel good.

00:52:13.000 It sounds like an animal growling.

00:52:15.000 I think it probably produces testosterone or something like that.

00:52:19.000 I feel like I've read that.

00:52:23.000 You're laughing, right?

00:52:24.000 No, no.

00:52:25.000 I could see it probably doing something like that.

00:52:28.000 I remember the first night I had it, dawg.

00:52:30.000 I was just taking it out and I was hitting corners doing 35, 45, like hitting corners.

00:52:35.000 Four-wheel drive.

00:52:36.000 I was like, not only that, there's a button you hit on it where the shocks fill up with fluid.

00:52:41.000 So you don't even lean.

00:52:43.000 Magnetic suspension.

00:52:44.000 It's like being on a freaking roller coaster, man.

00:52:47.000 Is this it right now?

00:52:48.000 Is this the...

00:52:49.000 Yes, yes.

00:52:50.000 It's called the Audi R8 and they have a V8 version, a V10 version.

00:52:54.000 And actually a lot of people think that the V10 doesn't handle as well because it's got a bigger engine and there's a little bit more rear weight biased.

00:53:01.000 Yeah, the engine in the V8 is smaller engine and a lot of people actually enjoy that car more.

00:53:06.000 But they started to put superchargers on them.

00:53:09.000 So they jack it up to like 560 horsepower and they're insane!

00:53:13.000 Insane!

00:53:14.000 I chew up tires like crazy.

00:53:15.000 Yeah, it's great.

00:53:17.000 I love cars, man.

00:53:18.000 I just love that someone invented it.

00:53:20.000 You know, you're getting a good car.

00:53:22.000 And then took it to that level.

00:53:23.000 Yeah, it's amazing.

00:53:24.000 That's like a spaceship, man.

00:53:25.000 When I saw it, I was like, man, that's a badass car.

00:53:27.000 There's cars now like the Shelby.

00:53:30.000 Like a Shelby GT500. They have a new one that's out that's 660 horsepower.

00:53:36.000 It's a fucking ridiculous thing to own.

00:53:38.000 Nobody should be able to just go into a store, and without proving that you know how to drive a goddamn race car, get a car stock off the shelf with a 660 plus horsepower engine.

00:53:48.000 But you can go get it.

00:53:49.000 You can go get it right now.

00:53:50.000 And you hit that, and it's just exciting.

00:53:54.000 You'll get little goosebumps.

00:53:56.000 Even if you don't drive it fast, you've got a smile on your face while you're driving.

00:54:00.000 Women will never understand that.

00:54:02.000 They just want to look good.

00:54:03.000 Just want to look good.

00:54:04.000 Hair in their car.

00:54:05.000 Have a nice, shiny, clean car.

00:54:07.000 Something contemporary.

00:54:08.000 I think they do understand it on a different level.

00:54:11.000 The ones who do?

00:54:11.000 They want to be in that car.

00:54:13.000 They know they'd rather be in that car than the guy with the rusted up terselle.

00:54:17.000 That's true.

00:54:18.000 You know what I mean?

00:54:18.000 But what I'm saying is, I think, especially muscle cars, there's something incredibly masculine about them.

00:54:25.000 Something.

00:54:26.000 Something that I don't think a woman will ever completely tune into.

00:54:31.000 It's a beast.

00:54:32.000 They sound like beasts.

00:54:34.000 You're controlling a beast.

00:54:35.000 You're harnessing 500 horses worth of power.

00:54:40.000 Yeah.

00:54:40.000 This is ridiculous.

00:54:42.000 500 horses.

00:54:43.000 That's what it's all about.

00:54:44.000 That's why I say it keeps the little boy in me alive.

00:54:46.000 He's playing with...

00:54:47.000 I got fucking 400 horsepower.

00:54:50.000 400 horsepower in the aluminum car with all-wheel drive, but rear-wheel drive characteristics because it only ever gives 30% of the power to the real wheels.

00:54:59.000 So it just helps you in corners and shit like that.

00:55:01.000 You put that thing in sport and then put that shock thing on, it's crazy.

00:55:05.000 It's amazing what they can do.

00:55:06.000 It's crazy.

00:55:06.000 It's fun.

00:55:06.000 I mean, I won't lie.

00:55:08.000 Well, when you think about technology and you think about how much things have progressed, one of the best ways to look at it is cars.

00:55:14.000 Because cars today, they have cars that go zero to 60 in less than three seconds.

00:55:20.000 And that's normal.

00:55:21.000 And you can get them at Nissan.

00:55:23.000 That's insane.

00:55:24.000 A Nissan GT-R is 0-60 in 2.7 or 2.8 seconds.

00:55:29.000 That's mind-blowing.

00:55:31.000 It's so hard to wrap your head around the fact that 1, 2, 3, you're going 60 fucking miles an hour.

00:55:37.000 That's an insane car for a regular person to be able to buy.

00:55:40.000 And they're making them better every year.

00:55:42.000 Every year.

00:55:42.000 It's faster.

00:55:43.000 Every year.

00:55:44.000 They got this...

00:55:45.000 Germany, they have this course called the Nürburgring.

00:55:47.000 It's like the one that they benchmark a lot of performance cars on it because there's all these turns and twists.

00:55:53.000 So it gives a real accurate representation of how fast you could drive with this car in the real world.

00:55:59.000 And those motherfuckers go around it with insane speed.

00:56:03.000 There's videos of them online.

00:56:04.000 I'll watch them for hours on end.

00:56:06.000 I'll watch like, here's a Ferrari 458 on the Nürburgring.

00:56:09.000 And they show them to you from the cockpit.

00:56:11.000 So it's like all of them around 7 minutes and 50 seconds, 740 seconds.

00:56:16.000 So for 7 minutes, you're sitting in there with the YouTube on full screen going...

00:56:25.000 How could you not appreciate that?

00:56:27.000 How could you not appreciate what someone has engineered?

00:56:30.000 Something that furrows you around corners, like slightly sideways, controlling it.

00:56:37.000 It's so wild to watch, man.

00:56:39.000 I spent most of my summer in Europe, so every time we were on the Autobahn, I was like, man, I wish I had my car here just to...

00:56:45.000 Just to stomp it.

00:56:46.000 Just to open it up.

00:56:47.000 I've opened it up over the 210, that back stretch.

00:56:51.000 You know, over the mountains where there ain't much.

00:56:53.000 Late at night.

00:56:54.000 Got it up to like 160-something.

00:56:56.000 Woo!

00:56:57.000 Jesus Christ.

00:56:59.000 The 210's a beautiful place.

00:57:00.000 And then I start getting real jittery like the helicopter's going to see me or something.

00:57:04.000 I'm going to turn into like a high speed pursuit on the news and so I back down.

00:57:08.000 Well those days are on their way out, man.

00:57:10.000 With the advent of drones, you're not going to be able to get away with that shit.

00:57:14.000 They'll have drones in the night sky, monitoring people's speed.

00:57:16.000 Here we go, you got your own video doing 160. Yeah, you won't be able to fuck with it.

00:57:22.000 I mean, there's no way they're not going to have that lockdown.

00:57:26.000 If there really are going to be 30,000 drones in the sky in 10 years, that's what they said, surveillance drones, these motherfuckers, they're going to cut back on all the fun.

00:57:35.000 Yeah.

00:57:35.000 Well, that's when they move out the city, man.

00:57:38.000 Oh, they're going to have it out there, too, dude.

00:57:39.000 They're going to have it everywhere.

00:57:40.000 It's easier, probably, to notice.

00:57:42.000 Probably.

00:57:44.000 Unless you're talking about these little mosquito microbot things that you see every once in a while pop up.

00:57:49.000 Well, that's another thing that I heard that was really creepy about some cars.

00:57:53.000 Some cars, without you even knowing it, they keep a data log of how fast you've driven it.

00:57:59.000 It's like they can go into it and they can, like, access it and they can find out, like, what are you doing, asshole?

00:58:05.000 You're going 150 fucking miles an hour?

00:58:07.000 Well, you want a track?

00:58:08.000 Like, what are you doing here?

00:58:09.000 Like, why are you going this fast?

00:58:11.000 Like, they can find that out from, you can find out where you were from your GPS locations.

00:58:15.000 It's like you're carrying a record of all your whereabouts.

00:58:18.000 Probably a little black box somewhere in there, man.

00:58:20.000 I'm sure there is.

00:58:22.000 Especially if you're...

00:58:23.000 I don't put anything past anyone, dog.

00:58:26.000 Have you heard of this new thing that was released by WikiLeaks called Trapwire?

00:58:32.000 Uh-uh.

00:58:32.000 I'm having a dude come on, the guy who broke the story.

00:58:35.000 He's coming on the 28th.

00:58:37.000 I think it's the 28th.

00:58:39.000 Anyway, what it is is they've figured out a way to take all surveillance cameras from all over the country.

00:58:46.000 And work them through a centralized database where they literally store all of the information, like every movement that's happened in cities and in areas.

00:58:56.000 They've got a complete massive database on everything that everyone's ever done for the last few years.

00:59:03.000 They're starting to do it in these areas and they're putting it in a centralized database without letting anybody know.

00:59:10.000 And it's crazy.

00:59:12.000 I don't know the...

00:59:13.000 but somehow or another they're all linked through, you know, Homeland Security or whatever the fuck it is.

00:59:18.000 It's whatever organization is taking the feed from all these different places.

00:59:22.000 But they're amassing a database of all of our activities all the time without anybody even knowing about it.

00:59:28.000 And what's really crazy about that is that this is just...

00:59:31.000 this marks an ethic.

00:59:33.000 It marks like this is what they're thinking.

00:59:36.000 They would like to monitor us all the time.

00:59:37.000 So they're doing it as much as they can.

00:59:39.000 Well, eventually, the technology is going to be better.

00:59:42.000 So as technology gets better, they're going to have shit everywhere.

00:59:45.000 They're going to be able to look at you everywhere.

00:59:47.000 That's what they do.

00:59:48.000 That's what they do.

00:59:48.000 You can't stop them.

00:59:51.000 How's that going to stop?

00:59:52.000 Are we going to stop that?

00:59:53.000 It's going to make for a lot better.

00:59:56.000 Those videos, like those hidden camera videos, like, look at this person.

00:59:59.000 He fell down.

01:00:00.000 A lot more cat videos.

01:00:02.000 Because your cats do a lot of wacky shit while you're at work.

01:00:04.000 And this way, you can go back and review.

01:00:06.000 Let's see what Skippy got into today.

01:00:08.000 Oh, you little asshole, drinking out of the toilet again.

01:00:10.000 I heard there was a study recently where they put these cameras on cats, and they found out that cats murder way more than they originally thought.

01:00:20.000 These cats just did nothing but murder animals, squirrels, birds, insects, and they go on killing sprees every time they go out of the house.

01:00:28.000 They're cats, man.

01:00:29.000 That's what cats do.

01:00:30.000 I've never been a cat, dude.

01:00:32.000 I've always felt they were kind of dark.

01:00:33.000 They're creepy.

01:00:34.000 Oh, yeah.

01:00:36.000 For me, it was also one time, many, many years ago, I was messing with some broad, and she had a cat.

01:00:43.000 And I saw a cat go from the counter and jump up onto the top of the shower door, which is like, you know...

01:00:52.000 It's like jumping on a balance beam, but 12 feet above.

01:00:54.000 If you were a gymnast, jumping 12 feet up and landing on a balance beam perfectly.

01:00:59.000 And that's when I was like, yo, I don't trust anything that could do that, man.

01:01:03.000 It was half magical.

01:01:05.000 That thing can fuck you up.

01:01:07.000 I'm not talking about running and jumping, like standing there and springing up onto some shit.

01:01:11.000 And I was like, no, that was some magical shit.

01:01:13.000 I have a wrought iron railing that curls on my staircase.

01:01:17.000 And this wrought iron railing is only about...

01:01:22.000 Three fingers wide.

01:01:23.000 Like maybe three of my fat fingers wide.

01:01:25.000 My cat walks it.

01:01:26.000 He walks it like a tightrope all the way up to the top.

01:01:29.000 Like it's nothing.

01:01:30.000 Like it's nothing.

01:01:32.000 He's there 12 feet above a hard stone floor.

01:01:36.000 This motherfucker don't care.

01:01:38.000 They got no fear, man.

01:01:39.000 There's all kinds of old, like, you know, creepy tales about cats that used to, like, sit on the chest of children and suck their breath out.

01:01:47.000 They lie on babies because they're warm.

01:01:50.000 And when they lie on babies, they smother them.

01:01:52.000 Yeah, that shit's real.

01:01:54.000 You know, they turn that into many a folk tale.

01:01:56.000 But could you imagine if your fucking cat killed your baby?

01:01:58.000 Waking up and your cat, like, smothered your kid?

01:02:01.000 Oh, it's so scary, man.

01:02:04.000 That's so fucking caring.

01:02:05.000 They're too smart.

01:02:06.000 I mean, cats are just too damn smart.

01:02:08.000 They're creepy.

01:02:09.000 Cats are robots.

01:02:09.000 We just don't know it yet.

01:02:11.000 And totally, like, really don't give a shit about you unless they want something from you.

01:02:16.000 Yeah, they want to be pet all the time.

01:02:18.000 They want constant massages.

01:02:19.000 Or fuck you.

01:02:20.000 Yeah.

01:02:20.000 It's funny.

01:02:21.000 Eddie Bravo's just starting to realize his cats are cunts now that he has a kid.

01:02:25.000 He loves his son so much, man.

01:02:27.000 I tell him, you know, he's talking to me about how much he loves his bunny, how much he loves his cats.

01:02:31.000 I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's all nice and good.

01:02:33.000 Wait till you see a little man.

01:02:34.000 Wait till you have a son, dude.

01:02:36.000 You're ready to kill those cats with a hammer.

01:02:38.000 Trust me.

01:02:39.000 Obviously, I was joking around.

01:02:40.000 I have cats.

01:02:41.000 I love my cats.

01:02:42.000 They're creepy, but I love them.

01:02:44.000 But man, now he's like, these fucking cats, they make noise when the kid's asleep on purpose.

01:02:48.000 They're trying to wake him up.

01:02:50.000 I try to keep him out of the room so they go in there and knock shit over.

01:02:53.000 They'll knock shit over and run around the hallway.

01:02:56.000 They're like, they're fucking with him.

01:02:58.000 And he's realizing it.

01:02:59.000 He's like, oh my god, I'm living with a bunch of cunts.

01:03:01.000 Cats are crazy, man.

01:03:03.000 Jealous little twats.

01:03:04.000 I would get a cat, like, if I lived, like...

01:03:07.000 In the hills or something.

01:03:08.000 I keep a cat, like an outdoor, indoor cat.

01:03:12.000 Those are bad.

01:03:12.000 Those are bad news.

01:03:13.000 For the sake of keeping off any rodents and whatnot.

01:03:18.000 You shouldn't fuck with outdoor, indoor cats for the simple reason of parasites.

01:03:22.000 An outdoor cat, I'll give them a little dish.

01:03:24.000 All outdoor or all indoor.

01:03:26.000 But I would have them if they served a purpose.

01:03:28.000 For me, I'm a dog guy.

01:03:31.000 I've always been a dog guy.

01:03:32.000 Well, you know, feral cats, people traditionally had them on farms.

01:03:36.000 I mean, semi-feral, just to keep the rat population down.

01:03:39.000 Because whenever you have a farm, you're going to have a lot of rodents.

01:03:42.000 But that cat parasite shit is no joke, man.

01:03:45.000 A lot of people have real problems in their life because of this cat parasite.

01:03:49.000 And it's affected a massive amount of Europe, a massive amount of South America.

01:03:54.000 I'm not even hip.

01:03:55.000 It's all toxoplasma.

01:03:58.000 They're just discovering it within the last few years.

01:04:01.000 And one of the things that they're discovering is that it leads to a disproportionate amount of motorcycle victims.

01:04:07.000 So they think it affects your judgment.

01:04:09.000 And it also, they said there's a lot of soccer teams, like really successful soccer teams, come from countries where they test high With high levels of toxoplasma because it makes you reckless.

01:04:22.000 It makes men...

01:04:23.000 Apparently it makes them more aggressive and may perhaps even generate more testosterone.

01:04:28.000 But essentially it's a fucking parasite that you get from cats.

01:04:31.000 And it completely rewires the way your thinking is.

01:04:36.000 There's an article that's written online.

01:04:38.000 It's a fascinating article by a neurosurgeon who has it.

01:04:40.000 And he knew something was wrong.

01:04:42.000 It's totally incurable.

01:04:43.000 When you have it, you can live with it, but it affects your judgment.

01:04:46.000 And it comes from fucking cats.

01:04:48.000 And it's creepy.

01:04:49.000 It's a behavioral changer.

01:04:50.000 So cats get it from rats.

01:04:52.000 And rats, what happens is the rat gets it.

01:04:55.000 And when the rat gets it, the rat gets sexually attracted to the smell of cat piss.

01:05:00.000 So it surrenders itself basically to cats, dude.

01:05:03.000 Runs right to the hole.

01:05:04.000 That's some old M. Night Shyamalan shit or something, dog.

01:05:08.000 It is.

01:05:08.000 And it's real.

01:05:09.000 That's crazy, man.

01:05:10.000 I mean, it's really scary.

01:05:11.000 It is like M. Night Shyamalan.

01:05:13.000 You're so right.

01:05:13.000 And we all sit around thinking about how arrogantly we're going to ruin or kill or take over the world or anything.

01:05:19.000 All it takes is one cat parasite, dude, and we're all screwed, man.

01:05:22.000 You know what I mean?

01:05:23.000 The wrong one, and let that aerosolize.

01:05:26.000 Well, they say that 50 million people are affected by it in this country alone.

01:05:31.000 Crazy.

01:05:32.000 50 million.

01:05:32.000 In Brazil, it's like 60%.

01:05:34.000 In parts of France, at one point in time...

01:05:37.000 It was as high as 80%.

01:05:38.000 Now it's down to the 50s.

01:05:40.000 But 50%, it's half the fucking people have this cat parasite, half of them, that changes your behavior.

01:05:46.000 Wow.

01:05:47.000 It's fucking nuts.

01:05:48.000 There's a guy named Sapolsky.

01:05:50.000 I've got to get him on this podcast.

01:05:51.000 I have to talk to him about this if he ever has free time.

01:05:54.000 But he's a professor, and he specializes in it.

01:05:57.000 That's crazy.

01:05:58.000 And he's the one who has a great video.

01:06:01.000 Sapolsky.

01:06:01.000 Toxoplasma?

01:06:02.000 Toxoplasma Gandhi.

01:06:04.000 Toxoblasmosis Gandhi, I think is the actual name of it.

01:06:06.000 Check that out, man.

01:06:07.000 It's fucking terrifying, man.

01:06:08.000 That's why outdoor cats can go fuck themselves.

01:06:10.000 You know, you gotta keep away from those creepy bitches.

01:06:13.000 They might get you with their dirty shit.

01:06:16.000 I'm in general not like cats, man.

01:06:18.000 And I'm a Leo.

01:06:19.000 Well, isn't that weird?

01:06:20.000 I mean, what a crazy...

01:06:21.000 It's cool.

01:06:22.000 We're all Leos here.

01:06:23.000 Yeah.

01:06:23.000 And we're all getting along.

01:06:25.000 Isn't it crazy that you could figure out a way to wire an animal's dick so it gets hard when it smells cat piss?

01:06:35.000 The piss of its murderer.

01:06:37.000 Could you imagine?

01:06:38.000 That's some devious shit.

01:06:39.000 That's the most devious shit ever!

01:06:41.000 That's physically and spiritually just devious, man.

01:06:46.000 That's just, that's next, that's Freddy Krueger nightmare shit right there.

01:06:50.000 That's nuts.

01:06:51.000 Somebody could just spit on you or transfer a fluid or breathe on you and all of a sudden now there are agents at work within your body to make you behave differently so as to the killing of you by that person would be made much easier.

01:07:08.000 Wow.

01:07:08.000 That's awesome.

01:07:10.000 And a whole species.

01:07:12.000 Like, cats!

01:07:14.000 You're going near cats!

01:07:16.000 Like, what the fuck?!

01:07:19.000 Cats?

01:07:19.000 The one thing that wants to kill you all the time.

01:07:22.000 And nature's like, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.

01:07:23.000 That's where we want to go next.

01:07:24.000 That's where we want to go next.

01:07:26.000 Go over there, please.

01:07:27.000 You smell that?

01:07:27.000 That smells like cats.

01:07:29.000 It's almost impossible to imagine that that wasn't engineered.

01:07:33.000 It makes you stop and go, who the fuck is working behind the curtain here?

01:07:38.000 That seems engineered.

01:07:40.000 That seems like...

01:07:42.000 If you wanted to point to some sort of intelligent design of the universe, I think things like that are compelling topics.

01:07:49.000 Not necessarily evidence, but compelling topics when it comes to the debate of there being some sort of intelligence to this whole thing.

01:07:56.000 What the fuck?

01:07:57.000 I mean, how does it randomly happen?

01:07:59.000 It'd be like if we could go scratch a chicken and a week later it's at our doorstep cooked, like waiting for us to eat it.

01:08:08.000 Yeah, we just throw some powder out there in the field and it just had the urge to throw itself on a roasting grill and feed itself to it.

01:08:15.000 With a hard dick, wandering, with their stupid black rat eyes, dead eyes, looking for cat piss with a heart on.

01:08:23.000 What the fuck kind of world is this?

01:08:26.000 Joe, would this happen?

01:08:27.000 Look at the TV. How many videos in there of cats doing hilarious shit with their bodies?

01:08:37.000 You can watch those.

01:08:38.000 My daughter watches those for hours.

01:08:39.000 Cats might be aliens, dude.

01:08:41.000 They might be.

01:08:41.000 I think they're robots.

01:08:42.000 I think they're technology.

01:08:44.000 Well, I just think they're super killers.

01:08:45.000 I think that nature needs cleanup.

01:08:47.000 And in order to make sure that the limping fucks don't make it, there's cats.

01:08:51.000 That's really what it is.

01:08:52.000 And they're there.

01:08:54.000 The little ones...

01:08:55.000 What the fuck was that?

01:08:59.000 See?

01:09:00.000 That's what I'm saying.

01:09:01.000 That looks like the devil picked it up and walked it away.

01:09:04.000 That cat just got up on two legs and walked out.

01:09:07.000 It's the most...

01:09:08.000 What's the name of that?

01:09:09.000 Just so people can see it.

01:09:10.000 Cat walking on...

01:09:11.000 Oh, Thriller Cat.

01:09:12.000 Thriller Cat.

01:09:13.000 Wait for it.

01:09:15.000 Thriller Cat.

01:09:16.000 Wait for it.

01:09:16.000 Oh, it's so silly.

01:09:17.000 God, I love that.

01:09:18.000 They're nature's cleanup, man.

01:09:20.000 They're there to make sure that it's tough to live.

01:09:23.000 And when somebody domesticated a cat, who decided that having it shit and piss in a box was a great idea?

01:09:29.000 It's the only way to keep them in the house.

01:09:31.000 If you're going to keep them in the house, they have to have a place to shit.

01:09:33.000 Dana D'Armond has it go in the toilet.

01:09:36.000 Really?

01:09:36.000 Yeah, she has those bald cats where they're all shaved, and she's trained it to just use the toilet.

01:09:42.000 I guess that's right.

01:09:43.000 If you're not letting it out of the house, that doesn't make sense.

01:09:47.000 Could you imagine the things that her cat has seen?

01:09:49.000 Oh, God.

01:09:51.000 No wonder why the cat goes in the toilet.

01:09:52.000 The cat is traumatized.

01:09:54.000 Doesn't even know it's a cat.

01:09:56.000 The cat thinks it's a person that can't talk.

01:09:58.000 Doesn't know what the fuck is up.

01:10:02.000 Yeah, it's weird to have an animal shitting in your house.

01:10:05.000 It's gross.

01:10:06.000 It's fucking nasty.

01:10:07.000 I'm not down with it anymore.

01:10:08.000 That was always a turn off to me, like if I would show up at some chick's house or something and I would smell that smell.

01:10:14.000 Ugh, it's awful.

01:10:15.000 Oh, there's a litter box in his house.

01:10:16.000 It's gross, especially if you're lazy and you don't clean the piss out.

01:10:19.000 And you walk in the house and you have that ammonia smell.

01:10:21.000 Ugh.

01:10:21.000 That's so dangerous for you.

01:10:23.000 I was watching Animal Hoarders on Netflix, which is one of the worst fucking TV shows in the whole entire world.

01:10:30.000 I don't know if you've ever watched it.

01:10:31.000 There was even one guy that had over 10,000 rats.

01:10:34.000 His wife died and then he bought a rat for some reason because she liked rats.

01:10:40.000 Just thousands and thousands of rats.

01:10:42.000 But one thing is the ammonia.

01:10:44.000 There was this guy that owned, I think, 90 cats in a one bedroom or something like that.

01:10:49.000 And the ammonia was so bad, like the toxic level was something like crazy, like 12%.

01:10:53.000 He had it like 90%.

01:10:55.000 Like his air quality was just all ammonia.

01:10:58.000 Wow.

01:10:59.000 That's crazy.

01:11:00.000 That's crazy.

01:11:01.000 I watch hoarders sometimes with the wifey, man.

01:11:04.000 Every once in a while, somebody will have so much stuff, they'll pull a flattened dead cat out of between.

01:11:09.000 Watch animal hoarders.

01:11:11.000 They'll freak you out.

01:11:11.000 They find dead cats all the time.

01:11:13.000 Isn't that weird that a lot of people do that?

01:11:14.000 That they start storing animals in their house?

01:11:17.000 They need more animals?

01:11:18.000 Or just even junk.

01:11:20.000 Yeah, junk.

01:11:21.000 Books.

01:11:22.000 Can't throw out old newspapers.

01:11:24.000 Once, like, my table gets too cluttered, some of this shit gotta get thrown out, man.

01:11:29.000 I just refreshed myself, got rid of all the magazines in my office.

01:11:35.000 I had, like, a stack of magazines.

01:11:37.000 Stack, maybe.

01:11:38.000 You gotta let go of some stuff.

01:11:39.000 There's, like, maybe 200 magazines.

01:11:41.000 I've been good at that, though.

01:11:42.000 I don't even have a lot of my own memorabilia and things like that, because I give everything away.

01:11:47.000 That's beautiful.

01:11:48.000 Yeah, I mean, I wind up giving, you know...

01:11:49.000 It'll impact them more than it'll impact you, you know?

01:11:52.000 To have a real everlasting memorabilia in your house.

01:11:56.000 It's just, you know, things.

01:11:57.000 Right.

01:11:59.000 I've had it all, lost it all, had it all, lost it all a couple times, so it's like I'm real attached to, like, not being attached.

01:12:04.000 Well, that's the best story.

01:12:07.000 The had it all, lost it all, got it back story is the best story.

01:12:10.000 People love that.

01:12:11.000 They love people that fuck up.

01:12:12.000 I do.

01:12:13.000 I love people because I know that's what I do.

01:12:15.000 I love people that can figure things out or that get through adversity or that go over a hump or that get thrown a curveball and they figure out how to hit it next time.

01:12:25.000 They're the most interesting people.

01:12:27.000 They get up the next day.

01:12:28.000 It's still going to be...

01:12:30.000 I remember, like, in the middle of my troubles, my troubles happened because, you know, I had to, like, I quit House of Pain.

01:12:37.000 I was doing a record my label didn't even believe in, the whole White Ford record.

01:12:40.000 Yeah, we went over that.

01:12:42.000 And, you know, I'd given up, like, I had to tax, my accountant ripped me off for some taxes, money, and I canceled my insurance.

01:12:50.000 So it was like the perfect storm of, like, here's the perfect time for your heart thing to happen to you right now.

01:12:55.000 Well, it's a perfect movie, though.

01:12:57.000 You know.

01:12:58.000 And then the bounce back.

01:12:59.000 Well, the bounce back was kind of luck.

01:13:01.000 That put your lights on?

01:13:02.000 That was not luck, dude.

01:13:03.000 That song is tremendous, man.

01:13:05.000 Yeah.

01:13:06.000 Well, that was a result of, like I said, coming out the hospital.

01:13:10.000 That's you and Santana?

01:13:11.000 Well, you know, I wrote the song.

01:13:13.000 Dude, play a little bit of that again.

01:13:14.000 Put it on his album.

01:13:15.000 Put a little bit of that on.

01:13:16.000 God damn, that's a good song, dude.

01:13:18.000 Oh, man.

01:13:19.000 That song had some real feeling in it, man.

01:13:25.000 There was a lot going on in that song.

01:13:26.000 Yeah, but I remember my accountants telling me to file for bankruptcy and all this.

01:13:30.000 And I was like, you know what?

01:13:31.000 I ain't gonna do it.

01:13:33.000 I ain't gonna do it.

01:13:34.000 God forbid I ever really had to do it.

01:13:38.000 But I was like, I pay my debts is the way I look at it.

01:13:42.000 I got screwed over by this guy.

01:13:43.000 I'm not gonna tell ten people over here I owe money to screw you.

01:13:46.000 Right.

01:13:47.000 Because I got screwed.

01:13:48.000 I don't play that game.

01:13:50.000 You know what I mean?

01:13:50.000 Yeah, bankruptcy is kind of a tricky little situation, huh?

01:13:54.000 I just remember the day I got the call from my accountant that said, you know, my new accountant that was, that I broke even.

01:14:02.000 Like, that everything was paid.

01:14:04.000 All my debts, my medical bills, everything was paid.

01:14:07.000 And, you know, now you can start putting some money back in the bank.

01:14:11.000 It took like a year.

01:14:12.000 Wow.

01:14:13.000 Some people it takes their whole life, you know.

01:14:15.000 Yeah, people can hit a spiral man Who is cooler than Carlos Santana?

01:14:34.000 Has anybody ever lived that's cooler than that guy?

01:14:37.000 He's undeniable.

01:14:41.000 I don't know, that guy right there is pretty fucking cool.

01:14:43.000 You're pretty cool, too.

01:14:44.000 I mean, don't get me wrong.

01:14:47.000 But come on, man.

01:14:48.000 Carlos Santana.

01:14:49.000 What was it like working with him, man?

01:14:51.000 It was cool.

01:14:51.000 It was like...

01:14:54.000 I had written that song.

01:14:55.000 We've gone over the story a little bit last time.

01:14:58.000 I had written that song and I had it, but Whitey Ford sings the blues was done.

01:15:02.000 I was doing Saturday Night Live.

01:15:04.000 I don't know if we talked about that part, which was one of my bucket list things, playing Saturday Night Live.

01:15:11.000 Growing up as a kid, that's why.

01:15:13.000 Learned about a lot of music.

01:15:16.000 So I'm playing Saturday Night Live.

01:15:18.000 We're doing like the day before rehearsal or something.

01:15:20.000 And somebody comes in the room and is like, yo, Carlos Santana's in the building.

01:15:23.000 He's looking for you.

01:15:23.000 And I was like, get the fuck out of here.

01:15:25.000 Shut up.

01:15:27.000 And like literally like 30 seconds later, Carlos Santana walks in the room.

01:15:31.000 Wow.

01:15:32.000 Wow.

01:15:32.000 And the guy who produced that song with me, Dante Ross, had taken the liberty.

01:15:36.000 He heard they were looking for songs.

01:15:38.000 He took the liberty of sending them the song.

01:15:40.000 And Santana fell in love with the song.

01:15:43.000 Wow.

01:15:44.000 The way I understand it and the way the story is told to me, it was the first song chosen for that whole project.

01:15:52.000 It was cool.

01:15:53.000 It was an honor.

01:15:54.000 I got this song and I was going to save it for my second record, but it just seemed like an opportunity that I should take.

01:16:01.000 Fuck yeah, man.

01:16:02.000 To be right next to Carlos motherfucking Santana.

01:16:08.000 And he was adamantly...

01:16:10.000 I'm not going to say the word beg because it implies some kind of...

01:16:14.000 He really wanted to be involved.

01:16:15.000 He wanted that song for his record.

01:16:17.000 He was like, yo, I want this song for my record.

01:16:20.000 And it was almost like I can't take no for an answer.

01:16:23.000 He was basically letting me know.

01:16:24.000 He was being real cool about letting me know how much he wanted that song.

01:16:28.000 And then you're like, you're buttered up by Santana.

01:16:31.000 So it's like, yeah, all right, we can do this.

01:16:35.000 Carlos Santana, who has made it through better than that guy?

01:16:39.000 He's made it through better than any of them.

01:16:41.000 If you think about all the people from his era and generation, they're all dead.

01:16:44.000 And he's still relevant.

01:16:46.000 He's managed to stick around.

01:16:48.000 Fuck yeah, stick around and still blow it out, man.

01:16:51.000 His music is still...

01:16:52.000 Now he's married to the Cindy Blackman.

01:16:55.000 Remember that drummer used to be in Lenny Kravitz's band?

01:16:58.000 Chick with the big fro.

01:16:59.000 Oh, really?

01:16:59.000 Yeah, that's his wife.

01:17:00.000 Oh, really?

01:17:01.000 I think she's been drumming with him, too.

01:17:02.000 I think she plays for him.

01:17:04.000 Wow.

01:17:05.000 Yeah, very few people, like, hit that cool level, like that Carlos Santana level.

01:17:10.000 Like, if you don't like Carlos Santana, something's fucking wrong with you, man.

01:17:14.000 You got your own problems, you know?

01:17:16.000 It's not Carlos, for sure.

01:17:18.000 You know what I mean?

01:17:19.000 He didn't do nothing to you, dude.

01:17:23.000 He's just out there playing guitar.

01:17:24.000 Shut the fuck up.

01:17:26.000 So what do you want to play us, man?

01:17:28.000 Oh, I don't know.

01:17:29.000 I figured I had to bring the guitar because I do look at the Twitter.

01:17:33.000 Oh, dude.

01:17:34.000 If you didn't play, people would go crazy.

01:17:36.000 If I had to bring the guitar now, now I'm going to ask.

01:17:37.000 We love talking to you, man.

01:17:39.000 But we love talking to you plus your music even more.

01:17:46.000 I can't even remember.

01:17:47.000 I come here and we talk about like 90 different things and I'm like, what did I even say on that show, man?

01:17:53.000 I don't even know what I said.

01:17:55.000 Yeah, well, welcome to us too.

01:17:57.000 Is there any more joint?

01:17:58.000 Yeah, yeah, there's more.

01:18:01.000 Let me just play something off the new record.

01:18:04.000 Let me just play something off the new record.

01:18:34.000 this hole.

01:18:35.000 Got a whole lot of nothing.

01:18:36.000 I'm ready to give.

01:18:37.000 I need a whole lot of loving, girl.

01:18:39.000 I'm eager to live.

01:18:41.000 We go one for money, two for show.

01:18:44.000 Got a one-trick pony.

01:18:46.000 You can ride her slow.

01:18:47.000 Cause she's good to go.

01:18:49.000 When I'm gone for good, I'll be unappreciated and misunderstood.

01:18:53.000 Got a brand new bag.

01:18:55.000 Got a brand new style.

01:18:56.000 Got a brand new baby girl that makes me smile.

01:18:59.000 Got a pocket for money.

01:19:01.000 Got a payday swagger.

01:19:03.000 Got a 4-5 pistol and a switchblade dagger.

01:19:06.000 Holding on with all I got.

01:19:11.000 I see the world keep turning and fires keep burning it down.

01:19:17.000 We're out, holding on with all we got.

01:19:24.000 They're trying to poison all the water and make porn stars from daughters in town.

01:19:30.000 Hey, you better wake up and water stop messing around.

01:19:37.000 And quit pretending like the motherfucking walls ain't tumbling down.

01:19:44.000 I got a one-track mind, got a double standard.

01:19:47.000 I got a woman so fine, and that's the way that I plan it.

01:19:51.000 Got a part-time job, got a full-time hobby.

01:19:54.000 I get drunk at the bar, fall asleep in the lobby.

01:19:57.000 If I'm late for the show, you don't have to worry.

01:20:00.000 I just live for the day, so I ain't in no hurry.

01:20:03.000 My vision It's blurry.

01:20:05.000 My head has been throbbing.

01:20:06.000 I got to fighting with the wifey.

01:20:08.000 She hung up on me sobbing.

01:20:09.000 Got a hole in my heart.

01:20:11.000 Got the guiltiest feeling.

01:20:12.000 Got a bottle of the Jameson.

01:20:14.000 That's how I keep dealing.

01:20:15.000 Got a pill for the pain.

01:20:17.000 Got some trees for the blowing.

01:20:19.000 Got 25,000 more miles to be going.

01:20:21.000 I got no way of knowing, got no way of telling Ain't nobody on my side and I got none I'm selling Got the clothes on my back, got the sound that I'm singing Got the love in my heart and the drama I'm bringing And holding on with all I got I see the world keep turning, fires keep burning it down We're out, holding on with all we got

01:20:51.000 They're trying to poison all the water Make porn stars from daughters in town Amen.

01:20:59.000 You better wake up or stop messing around.

01:21:05.000 And quit pretending like the motherfucking walls ain't tumbling down.

01:21:11.000 That was beautiful.

01:21:18.000 I figured I'd say something that made sense today.

01:21:22.000 You know what I mean?

01:21:23.000 It's one of my favorite songs.

01:21:24.000 That's fucking badass, man.

01:21:26.000 You know, your stuff has such an everlast feel to it now.

01:21:31.000 You really nailed your sound.

01:21:35.000 Nobody else could have played that song.

01:21:36.000 If I heard that song, I would say, well, that's a Neverlast song.

01:21:39.000 That's a Neverlast song.

01:21:40.000 It sounds like a Neverlast song.

01:21:41.000 Yeah, it makes it hard to write for other folks.

01:21:44.000 I write songs and it's like, I gotta keep that.

01:21:47.000 That's mine.

01:21:48.000 You gotta write for yourself, man.

01:21:51.000 You have this unique blend of having had all these life experiences and health problems and being fucked over and being up and down and Man, it just comes out in your music.

01:22:04.000 God damn, it comes out good.

01:22:06.000 Thank you, man.

01:22:06.000 That is a badass fucking song.

01:22:09.000 I'll say it like this, man.

01:22:11.000 Since coming here and doing this, it did two things.

01:22:14.000 It made a lot of people aware of me playing acoustically.

01:22:18.000 And it also freed me up.

01:22:20.000 I've been doing a lot of shows like this now.

01:22:22.000 Oh, man, that's beautiful to hear.

01:22:24.000 We couldn't be happier, man.

01:22:26.000 It's been fun.

01:22:27.000 I really appreciate that sound.

01:22:29.000 I think there's something real intimate about an acoustic set.

01:22:34.000 I don't want to say it's better, but it's different.

01:22:37.000 For me, it's great because everything starts that way.

01:22:40.000 I sit in a room with this and maybe a drum machine.

01:22:44.000 Maybe I'll come up with a beat and a guitar line, but most of the time it's an acoustic guitar and me.

01:22:48.000 That's all you need, man.

01:22:49.000 Some of the greatest songs ever.

01:22:51.000 And when the lights go out, I'll still be able to do it.

01:22:54.000 That's right.

01:22:55.000 Exactly.

01:22:56.000 Yeah, no, it's beautiful, man.

01:22:58.000 It's beautiful.

01:22:58.000 Oh, I gotta say to Dana DeArma, I was listening to it, she was thinking I was talking shit about her.

01:23:02.000 We were just joking about what kind of crazy shit your cats must have seen.

01:23:05.000 We like you, baby.

01:23:07.000 We're friends.

01:23:08.000 We're buddies.

01:23:09.000 We love you.

01:23:10.000 We're not talking shit about you.

01:23:11.000 Don't get oversensitive.

01:23:13.000 Isn't this like a comedy-based podcast?

01:23:17.000 Yeah, but people don't like being talked shit about, and she's just sensitive, and she's been on our show a bunch of times.

01:23:22.000 I just wanted to know, even if I make fun, it's always love, baby.

01:23:26.000 You can make fun of me anytime, Joe.

01:23:28.000 You're too cool, man.

01:23:30.000 It's really tough to find an angle without coming off looking like a dick.

01:23:34.000 When someone's as nice as you...

01:23:36.000 Just the edges have been worn off, man, by this point.

01:23:39.000 In my 20s, I was a Just raging asshole.

01:23:42.000 Well, I remember meeting you, you know, whatever many years ago it was, and I was, right away, you seemed like just a normal dude, you know, and it's a weird thing when you listen to someone's music, and you've known them for so many years, like, I knew who you were when I was barely getting by, you know, and you were playing in my car.

01:24:01.000 I was driving around, jump up, jump up, get down!

01:24:04.000 You're in my car and shit when I was in my mad struggle period.

01:24:08.000 Yeah, we're about to actually release a 20th anniversary.

01:24:11.000 Really?

01:24:11.000 Oh, that's awesome.

01:24:13.000 With a bunch of remixes and...

01:24:14.000 Acoustic versions.

01:24:15.000 But you were one of those...

01:24:17.000 That's just not going to happen.

01:24:19.000 Actually, the funny thing is I was just doing an acoustic show and it's like, This dude started saying jump.

01:24:25.000 And I was like, I laughed it off at first.

01:24:27.000 And then I realized he was serious.

01:24:29.000 I was like, dude, it ain't happening.

01:24:30.000 But you know Dynamite Hack, third version of Jen and J. That would be kind of cool if you could do it.

01:24:35.000 Let me tell you something, man.

01:24:36.000 It'd be cool if somebody else did that.

01:24:39.000 You know what I mean?

01:24:40.000 Jump around is so goddamn good that I think it's almost like a disservice if you don't do it.

01:24:47.000 Even if you got to bring out more equipment, jump around is like, you can't follow that.

01:24:52.000 There is no more equipment when I show up in one of these shows.

01:24:54.000 It's me and this and at most my buddy or another guy on acoustic guitar.

01:24:59.000 It's one of my favorite parts about Marcus Davis is a dude who fought in the UFC who would always come out to jump around.

01:25:06.000 When those bagpipes go off in the beginning, ugh.

01:25:10.000 Goddamn, that was a good jam.

01:25:13.000 It still stays in downloads.

01:25:17.000 I'm amazed.

01:25:18.000 Fuck yeah.

01:25:19.000 That's one of the all-time greatest workout songs ever.

01:25:23.000 Ever.

01:25:24.000 If you're lifting weights and you listen to that song, you get an extra rep in.

01:25:27.000 It's paying for that car outside.

01:25:29.000 Oh, I'm sure.

01:25:30.000 I'm sure.

01:25:31.000 That's why you need to make an acoustic version.

01:25:35.000 For vegans.

01:25:36.000 For vegans.

01:25:37.000 For vegans who occasionally eat eggs if they find.

01:25:41.000 Vegans aren't even allowed to eat eggs, right?

01:25:43.000 I don't think so.

01:25:44.000 No.

01:25:44.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:25:45.000 That's an embryo.

01:25:46.000 But it's not.

01:25:47.000 It's only an embryo if it's been fertilized.

01:25:49.000 I used to think it was.

01:25:50.000 I used to think that every egg could become a chicken.

01:25:52.000 Well, it's a potential embryo.

01:25:53.000 Not even.

01:25:54.000 They lay them.

01:25:56.000 Every day.

01:25:57.000 They lay them every day.

01:25:58.000 I eat the shit out of them.

01:25:59.000 I ain't arguing with you.

01:26:00.000 Oh, I know you're not.

01:26:00.000 But I didn't know that it comes out.

01:26:02.000 Like, when it comes out, there's no way it could ever be a baby.

01:26:05.000 Like, it is just an egg and it's done.

01:26:07.000 Like, even though she laid this egg, that is a useless egg.

01:26:10.000 It will never be a baby chick.

01:26:11.000 So when is it regular chicks then?

01:26:13.000 It has to be fertilized.

01:26:14.000 So they have one every day.

01:26:16.000 And when a male chicken comes in and lays some dick to her, then there's a baby in that egg.

01:26:22.000 But until the male chicken does that, she's just laying duds.

01:26:25.000 So there's no males around.

01:26:26.000 And then you come along and eat the duds.

01:26:27.000 So if there's no males around, then it's guaranteed no babies.

01:26:29.000 Just fucking dud city.

01:26:30.000 Dud city.

01:26:31.000 Yeah, and you separate them anyway because otherwise they'd peck each other's fucking eyes out.

01:26:34.000 Those cunty little animals.

01:26:36.000 Wow.

01:26:38.000 What's a chicken look taste like that's been fertilized?

01:26:41.000 Is it even better?

01:26:42.000 Is there a name for it?

01:26:43.000 Like deluxe egg?

01:26:45.000 No.

01:26:46.000 Well, it's called Balut in the Philippines.

01:26:48.000 We used to serve it on Fear Factor.

01:26:50.000 And it was funny because my Filipino friends...

01:26:52.000 What, like a halfway baked chiclet?

01:26:53.000 It's like a duck embryo, and it's cooked.

01:26:57.000 It's half cooked.

01:26:58.000 Well, it's not like solid cooked, but it's still gooey inside.

01:27:04.000 But I mean, they're eating the bones.

01:27:05.000 I mean, you can see the little duck.

01:27:07.000 I mean, we served people this.

01:27:09.000 But my Filipino friends are like, oh, that's Balut.

01:27:11.000 That's my favorite.

01:27:13.000 Why don't you get me on your fucking show, Joe Rogan?

01:27:15.000 Isn't that crazy?

01:27:17.000 The funny part would have been if, like, just randomly that happened where one guy was on the show.

01:27:21.000 He's like, oh, my grandma used to make that all the time!

01:27:23.000 Yeah, we would know.

01:27:24.000 Oh, horse penis?

01:27:26.000 Yes!

01:27:26.000 We would never serve a Filipino person, Balut.

01:27:30.000 But we served it to a lot of other people.

01:27:31.000 It's hilarious.

01:27:32.000 The thing called 100-year-old eggs.

01:27:35.000 It's not really 100 years old, but it's a fermented egg.

01:27:37.000 They dig a hole and they put them in the ground for weeks or months or some shit like that.

01:27:42.000 The eggs turn black and they have a jelly, sort of a weird texture to them.

01:27:47.000 They're fucking disgusting.

01:27:48.000 But people pay money for them.

01:27:49.000 It's an expensive delicacy somewhere.

01:27:53.000 That's what I call tampons that girls forget about.

01:27:55.000 Sometimes they push a tampon in too far.

01:27:57.000 I call it a balutpon.

01:27:59.000 Some girls are like, I had it in me for four days and started to smell raw.

01:28:03.000 What?

01:28:04.000 What kind of fucking girls are you hanging out with?

01:28:08.000 You gotta clean these girls up, man.

01:28:09.000 These girls are lost.

01:28:11.000 They've given up on life.

01:28:13.000 Four days?

01:28:13.000 You forgot something was inside you for four days?

01:28:18.000 I was dating this girl a long time ago, and I was fingering her, and I pulled out a piece of her tampon that she didn't know was in there.

01:28:24.000 Right.

01:28:25.000 And she totally freaked out.

01:28:26.000 It happens a lot, I guess.

01:28:26.000 She was so embarrassed.

01:28:28.000 She was like, I'm so embarrassed.

01:28:29.000 I'm like...

01:28:31.000 Why would you be embarrassed?

01:28:32.000 I'm like, you know you have to put stuff in there, so something got stuck and you didn't know.

01:28:36.000 Why is that embarrassing?

01:28:36.000 I don't understand why that's embarrassing.

01:28:38.000 Not everybody's as evolved as you, Joe.

01:28:39.000 Wow.

01:28:40.000 I was only 21. I wasn't that evolved back then.

01:28:42.000 You sounded pretty evolved.

01:28:44.000 That's how you reacted.

01:28:45.000 At 20, I might have been like, what the fuck is this?

01:28:50.000 What the fuck is this?

01:28:52.000 Where'd this come from?

01:28:53.000 I don't know, baby.

01:28:55.000 I thought I cleaned it good for you, baby.

01:28:57.000 I thought you cleaned it good for me.

01:28:58.000 Just because at 21, you're like, what the fuck?

01:29:01.000 What the heck?

01:29:01.000 I mean, I probably would have been a little weirded out by that.

01:29:04.000 Really?

01:29:04.000 Yeah.

01:29:05.000 Was it just clean?

01:29:08.000 Or was it bloody?

01:29:09.000 Yeah.

01:29:10.000 She had pulled it out.

01:29:11.000 No, it was clean.

01:29:12.000 She had apparently pulled it out and left a piece of it in there.

01:29:15.000 It broke off.

01:29:15.000 Which is really dangerous for women.

01:29:17.000 Yeah, toxic shock.

01:29:18.000 Yeah, I don't know what the fuck that...

01:29:20.000 I guess it's like...

01:29:20.000 It's bad, whatever it is.

01:29:21.000 That's four days of leaving a tampon up in you.

01:29:24.000 You gotta think.

01:29:25.000 That's what's gonna get you that.

01:29:26.000 Brian, how dare you.

01:29:27.000 Tell your friend.

01:29:28.000 Who are you hanging out with, Brian?

01:29:29.000 Word.

01:29:30.000 The fuck is wrong with people in your life, man?

01:29:31.000 It's all them junior high school girls.

01:29:32.000 All right, look, it was Dana D'Armond.

01:29:34.000 It was just Dana D'Armond.

01:29:36.000 Poor Dana.

01:29:37.000 This kid wasn't Dana D'Armond.

01:29:40.000 Dana's a really nice person.

01:29:41.000 I don't care what she does for a living.

01:29:43.000 She's always been a very pleasant person to be around.

01:29:45.000 I know.

01:29:46.000 You know, people say like, oh, you're just trying to fuck her.

01:29:48.000 No one's trying to fuck her.

01:29:49.000 We're all friends with her.

01:29:50.000 No, she's a great person.

01:29:51.000 She's a really nice person.

01:29:52.000 And she's funny.

01:29:53.000 She's a funny chick.

01:29:54.000 I love her.

01:29:55.000 So she likes doing gangbangs.

01:29:57.000 Whatevs.

01:29:58.000 I miss doing a podcast with her.

01:29:59.000 That ain't my life.

01:30:00.000 Why don't you guys do a podcast anymore?

01:30:02.000 We're just so horrible.

01:30:04.000 We'll be like, hey, let's do one today.

01:30:06.000 And like, okay, who should we have on?

01:30:07.000 And then we both just space out.

01:30:09.000 We're just really bad.

01:30:12.000 We work weird together.

01:30:13.000 We're very spacey, both of us.

01:30:15.000 You just shut each other off.

01:30:16.000 You cancel each other off.

01:30:18.000 Well, you're doing too much anyway, man.

01:30:20.000 You're all fucking stressed out.

01:30:21.000 You've got to chill out.

01:30:23.000 Listen to some Everlast music, bitch.

01:30:24.000 Actually, I've listened to his album more than I think any CD I've ever had, ever.

01:30:31.000 Because it's always in my car and it's always a go-to CD because it's good.

01:30:35.000 There's a lot of good songs on it.

01:30:37.000 I'm not just blowing smoke up your ass.

01:30:39.000 Thank you, sir.

01:30:41.000 No, it's beautiful, man.

01:30:42.000 What else you got for us?

01:30:44.000 Oh, I got one.

01:30:45.000 I got one here.

01:30:45.000 It's off my last album, which actually I started this thing last week and I might have approached it wrong because I was kind of angry when I did.

01:30:54.000 Sony ATV Music Group or something on Twitter.

01:30:59.000 You can find it on my timeline.

01:31:01.000 I have an album that I put out in 2008 that's not on iTunes.

01:31:04.000 Nobody knows the reason why.

01:31:06.000 And it's like I'm trying to get these dudes' attention right now to put this album up.

01:31:10.000 It's called Love War and the Ghost of Whitey Ford.

01:31:12.000 It's like I did an independent deal with one of these publishing people and it's been kind of like...

01:31:19.000 How come it's not up?

01:31:20.000 We gotta push them to get this up.

01:31:22.000 Exactly.

01:31:23.000 Yeah, there's a lot of shit.

01:31:24.000 It's also the album that has my Folsom Prison cover on it.

01:31:27.000 Oh, really?

01:31:27.000 Yeah, it's just...

01:31:28.000 It's purely a red...

01:31:31.000 It's not even red tape.

01:31:32.000 It's like just...

01:31:33.000 Motherfuckers just ain't aware.

01:31:35.000 So, like, last week I tweeted, like, Hey, everybody, tweet these assholes about my record.

01:31:41.000 You know, it needs to be on iTunes.

01:31:43.000 And, like, apparently people got pretty nasty quickly.

01:31:46.000 But I got a response from somebody at the company saying...

01:31:51.000 At first they were like, oh, that's real professional.

01:31:53.000 And I wrote them back, like, real professional.

01:31:54.000 I was like, you guys are fucking me right now because you don't have a record of mine up that I put out four years ago.

01:32:00.000 And then they got back to me.

01:32:02.000 So I'm saying respectfully request these people to get my record up on iTunes.

01:32:07.000 Yeah, no shit, man.

01:32:07.000 That's fucked up.

01:32:08.000 Because there's one person in there apparently working on my behalf.

01:32:11.000 I can't remember their name at this time.

01:32:12.000 So we have an undercover operative in the operation at the moment.

01:32:18.000 So what is it, just incompetence?

01:32:20.000 Well, we live by a tribe called Quest Industry Rule 4080, which is record company people are shady.

01:32:28.000 This just is what it is.

01:32:29.000 That's what it is.

01:32:30.000 They're dying, huh?

01:32:31.000 It's the industry.

01:32:32.000 I'm going to get the record up, but this song's from it.

01:32:34.000 And this song I originally wrote...

01:32:37.000 When I saw imagery of kids in Palestine throwing rocks at Israeli armored cars, I explored the mentality of the oppressed and how far you will let yourself be oppressed.

01:32:54.000 I've started to come to the conclusion the song's about a lot more than just that, though.

01:32:58.000 It's about what could be going on here soon.

01:33:03.000 It's called Stone in My Hand.

01:33:08.000 guitar solo

01:33:38.000 guitar solo

01:34:01.000 stone in my head Ain't got nothin' but the stones in my head They say you want a revolution, well get on board.

01:34:22.000 We'll start a new crusade, we'll start a holy war.

01:34:28.000 I don't need no orders.

01:34:29.000 I don't need no plans.

01:34:32.000 I don't need nothing but stones in my hand.

01:34:36.000 Stone in my hand.

01:34:39.000 Stone in my hand.

01:34:41.000 Don't need nothing but stones in my hand Stone in my hand Stone in my hand Don't need nothing but stones in my hand Build your fighter jets You drop your bombs.

01:35:09.000 You kill our fathers.

01:35:12.000 You kill our moms.

01:35:14.000 You kill our brothers and our sisters and our uncles and our aunts.

01:35:19.000 And still I'm fighting with stones in my head.

01:35:24.000 Stone in my head.

01:35:26.000 Stone in my head.

01:35:28.000 Still I'm fighting with stones in my head.

01:35:33.000 A stone in my head.

01:35:35.000 A stone in my head.

01:35:37.000 All the blood that's in my heart.

01:35:40.000 Stones in my hand Let mine's the cutters Smoke fills the sky.

01:35:56.000 Every son that suffers, every mother cries So if you've had enough and ready for your stand I'll be waiting with the stones in my head.

01:36:10.000 Stone in my head.

01:36:13.000 Stone in my head.

01:36:15.000 Yeah, I'll be waiting with the stones in my head.

01:36:20.000 Stone in my head.

01:36:23.000 Stone in my head.

01:36:25.000 All the love's in my heart.

01:36:27.000 The stones in my head.

01:36:34.000 God damn, that's good.

01:36:35.000 Thank you.

01:36:36.000 Holy shit, dude.

01:36:39.000 Woo!

01:36:41.000 That is awesome.

01:36:42.000 That is one of my new favorite songs, man.

01:36:45.000 Thank you, sir.

01:36:46.000 That is fucking fantastic.

01:36:46.000 The album's called Love, War, and the Ghost of Whitey Ford.

01:36:49.000 Sony ATV Music Group.

01:36:50.000 Get that shit up on iTunes, please.

01:36:52.000 Man, when I was listening to that, I was thinking, I need to hear this shit again right away.

01:36:56.000 There's a video for it.

01:36:57.000 You know what I mean?

01:36:58.000 No, I need to get it in my car on the way home, man.

01:37:00.000 I need to figure out how to get it on my phone and get it in my car.

01:37:03.000 I'm going to have to download that shit, and I can't get it off iTunes.

01:37:05.000 That pisses me off.

01:37:06.000 That bothers me.

01:37:08.000 I mean, it's a different version on iTunes anyway.

01:37:10.000 The album version's got drums and all kinds of shit.

01:37:12.000 Goddamn, that was good, dude.

01:37:14.000 It's fun.

01:37:16.000 It's revoluting.

01:37:18.000 That's a great song, man.

01:37:20.000 That has everything.

01:37:22.000 That has everything, man.

01:37:24.000 The beat is fantastic, too.

01:37:26.000 The way you played it, it was a very unusual sound for an acoustic song.

01:37:32.000 I beat it up like a drum, man.

01:37:34.000 It's kind of like my thing.

01:37:35.000 I was learned.

01:37:37.000 I was taught.

01:37:38.000 I learned!

01:37:39.000 I was learned how to strum the guitar.

01:37:45.000 But like to treat this hand like a drummer, like that's the down, that's the up, that's the kick and the snare kind of way my mind works, you know?

01:37:52.000 Yeah, when you were in the middle of the, I don't know any musical turns, but when you were really going at it, man, it was like, it was both a drum and it was almost like there was a beat to it as well as, you know, hearing the actual sound of the chords.

01:38:06.000 Grazie.

01:38:07.000 Oh, it's beautiful, man.

01:38:08.000 It's beautiful.

01:38:09.000 The words are beautiful.

01:38:10.000 It's so inspiring, man.

01:38:12.000 I have no musical talent at all, so I always say this, like, music to me is like magic.

01:38:16.000 Like, you're doing magic.

01:38:17.000 Like, what the fuck are you doing?

01:38:18.000 Like, you're making all this crazy awesome noise.

01:38:20.000 You know, I mean, it is, to me, it's like, I'm so musically retarded that it is like a form of magic.

01:38:26.000 So inspirational, man.

01:38:28.000 It's awesome, man.

01:38:29.000 Thank you, sir.

01:38:29.000 It's beautiful.

01:38:32.000 Another one?

01:38:33.000 I'll play as many as y'all want, man.

01:38:35.000 Always nice.

01:38:38.000 This is another one off that record.

01:38:39.000 I'll just keep it in that theme for the moment.

01:38:41.000 Thank you.

01:39:11.000 Got my pickup truck.

01:39:12.000 Got my gun.

01:39:16.000 I got a taste for whiskey and pills.

01:39:21.000 I know I'm kind of fucked.

01:39:27.000 Cause I'm my father's son.

01:39:31.000 Got a hold in my heart I can't fill.

01:39:39.000 Turn off the parking lights Down by the river's edge This is my darkest night, girl Swimming in my head Happens all the time I blow it every time People change with time.

01:40:05.000 Call me anytime, girl.

01:40:09.000 I miss you oh so often.

01:40:12.000 What's been said is done.

01:40:16.000 It's my only option.

01:40:19.000 I'll be anyone for Out on the interstate I play my radio And I confess to all my sins

01:40:50.000 Been driving seven hours Still got three to go It always ends where it begins You got your broken wings I got my sewn up hard Girl,

01:41:16.000 all these fucked up things They keep us torn apart It happens all the time I blow it every time People change with time Call me anytime, girl.

01:41:38.000 I miss you oh so often.

01:41:41.000 What's been said is done.

01:41:45.000 It's my only option.

01:41:49.000 I'll kill anyone for you Anyone, anywhere, anytime For you I'll kill anyone for you

01:42:14.000 Anyone, anywhere, anytime, for you Anyone, anywhere Anytime.

01:42:35.000 For you.

01:42:39.000 For you That was awesome.

01:43:01.000 Thank you.

01:43:02.000 You're killing it.

01:43:03.000 It's called Anyone.

01:43:04.000 That was really good.

01:43:10.000 And that was on the same album?

01:43:11.000 Yeah, that song actually I wrote like the night my father died, actually.

01:43:20.000 Oddly enough, though.

01:43:22.000 Other than a reference to him, it's not that much about him, but except for the feeling, it creates things for me.

01:43:29.000 It's just about fucking everything up every day.

01:43:35.000 When you write, do you try to do that a lot?

01:43:38.000 Do you write things that are not necessarily about what you're singing?

01:43:44.000 Yeah, a lot of times you don't want to, like, you know, I mean, you'll lay out, I'm sure it's the same even within comedy writing, you'll lay out a certain amount of yourself within something and, you know, use it in context to make it something else.

01:43:59.000 Right, right, right.

01:44:00.000 It'll become...

01:44:03.000 Because the emotion is what we go after.

01:44:05.000 It's all about emotion.

01:44:07.000 So it's like you want to tap into an emotion.

01:44:09.000 It's like, I want to recreate that emotion.

01:44:11.000 I'm going to have to use a piece of it to do it, but you don't want to necessarily...

01:44:15.000 Yeah, you're trying to tap into it.

01:44:18.000 It's a crazy thing that music can do.

01:44:20.000 Music is such a weird feeling.

01:44:22.000 It really changes the way your whole body feels.

01:44:25.000 You tingle and shit.

01:44:27.000 I'm really stoned too.

01:44:28.000 I feel like I'm hypnotized or something right now.

01:44:33.000 You think somebody could talk you into something right now?

01:44:35.000 I don't know.

01:44:36.000 Let's not change the subject.

01:44:38.000 Yeah, well, that's one of the things about cannabis.

01:44:41.000 Cannabis and the connection with music.

01:44:43.000 You really, you know, I hate being that person.

01:44:46.000 They go, dude, you gotta try it, you gotta try it.

01:44:48.000 But if it wasn't for weed, I think I would be missing out on a lot of the levels of enjoyment that are possible.

01:44:55.000 Because there's some levels of enjoyment when you're high, and one of them is listening to the music.

01:45:00.000 When you're high and you listen to, like, Comfortably Numb, you know, you hit some old-school Pink Floyd when you're high, and you hear all the subtle nuances to the song that you never recognized before, and it's just, it overcomes you in a wave.

01:45:14.000 It's what I like to refer to as the highest common denominator.

01:45:18.000 It's like when we all hit that intelligent moment.

01:45:21.000 There's a lot of music that caters straightly to bass, nature, and bass.

01:45:27.000 Then there's that music that really inspires to do what we're talking about, like find that emotion, find that thing, and really accurately describe it somehow, where the next person says, fuck, me too.

01:45:39.000 Damn, how did you know that about me?

01:45:42.000 How did you know how to say that about me?

01:45:45.000 When you do that in a song, or a joke, half the reason the real belly laughs come from motherfuckers who are like, I know exactly what he's talking about, and he's so fucking right about it.

01:45:56.000 When you hit some certain lyrics and people just go, oh, that's my fucking song.

01:46:00.000 That's my song.

01:46:01.000 He's playing my song.

01:46:02.000 There's certain songs that become your song, man.

01:46:04.000 You just want to hear them.

01:46:06.000 They give you a feeling.

01:46:08.000 I can remember being...

01:46:10.000 A kid, like, right out of high school.

01:46:13.000 And I was at a friend of mine's house.

01:46:15.000 And he was having a little backyard party.

01:46:18.000 Everybody was laughing.

01:46:19.000 Everybody was having a good time.

01:46:20.000 It was like life had not gotten too complicated yet.

01:46:22.000 I was still, like, only 18. And Sweet Home Alabama came on.

01:46:26.000 He had a little boombox.

01:46:28.000 That fucking song.

01:46:32.000 Oh, man.

01:46:33.000 It was...

01:46:34.000 Oh, right away, it was like we were smiling and laughing and drinking beers and talking shit.

01:46:43.000 That song was...

01:46:44.000 Oh, whatever.

01:46:46.000 I don't know what the key is.

01:46:46.000 Sounds good.

01:46:47.000 That song will always keep on turning.

01:46:58.000 I don't know the whole song.

01:46:59.000 Ha ha ha.

01:47:00.000 Something like that.

01:47:04.000 I don't know.

01:47:05.000 That was a great goddamn song.

01:47:07.000 That's an all-time classic.

01:47:09.000 I used to do one for Snoop.

01:47:11.000 That was a...

01:47:13.000 Sweet home California Where the cribs stay all wet blue It was funny.

01:47:25.000 It's awesome.

01:47:25.000 That's hilarious.

01:47:26.000 You hang out with Snoop a lot?

01:47:31.000 I mean, I wouldn't say a lot because, you know, lives are lives.

01:47:34.000 And he's like one of them dudes.

01:47:36.000 He's like Dana White, man.

01:47:38.000 I'm gonna fucking wake up in a different place every fucking day of his life.

01:47:41.000 You know what I mean?

01:47:42.000 I mean, I love traveling and working.

01:47:45.000 There's a limit, dude.

01:47:47.000 I gotta be at home.

01:47:48.000 Yes.

01:47:48.000 Gotta drive my car once in a while, you know, hit the olive bar like I'm talking about, you know.

01:47:52.000 Y'all know the olive bar.

01:47:54.000 No, the olive bar.

01:47:55.000 Brian, we've already discussed this with him.

01:47:56.000 Stop being stupid.

01:47:58.000 At the Ralph's.

01:47:59.000 Yeah, Ralph's.

01:48:00.000 Ralph's olive bar.

01:48:00.000 Or Gelson's sometimes has a nice one.

01:48:02.000 Whole Foods, that's a good one, too.

01:48:03.000 Whole Foods, that's a good one, too.

01:48:03.000 Yes, they have a good one.

01:48:04.000 They got the bright green olives that you rarely see.

01:48:07.000 I'm all about them.

01:48:07.000 I'm all about them, dude.

01:48:07.000 With the pits.

01:48:08.000 I'm down with olives.

01:48:10.000 Olives are disgusting.

01:48:12.000 What the fuck?

01:48:12.000 I hate all those.

01:48:14.000 Bro, to you.

01:48:14.000 How about a little respect?

01:48:16.000 I can't get into them.

01:48:17.000 It tastes like black licorice vegetables.

01:48:20.000 Yeah, I love it.

01:48:21.000 Sounds good.

01:48:21.000 Give me more.

01:48:22.000 It's good for you.

01:48:23.000 Hard to grow, too.

01:48:24.000 Some places where they really didn't have much nutrients.

01:48:26.000 But they're growing these stupid olives.

01:48:28.000 Olives will grow on the side of a dirty hill with no rain.

01:48:30.000 That's right.

01:48:30.000 Gas all the people in Greece.

01:48:32.000 Yeah, and then you have to treat them before you eat them.

01:48:34.000 Unless you're a dog.

01:48:35.000 My dogs eat them right off the fucking ground.

01:48:37.000 They're constantly eating olives.

01:48:38.000 I'm like, you creepy bitches.

01:48:40.000 And then they get diarrhea.

01:48:42.000 Now you know.

01:48:43.000 That doesn't happen to me.

01:48:44.000 Dogs eating olives?

01:48:45.000 No, diarrhea.

01:48:46.000 When you eat olives?

01:48:47.000 Yeah.

01:48:48.000 Yeah, but I'm talking about some shit on the ground.

01:48:49.000 When a dog eats olives that they found on the ground, you're not supposed to do that.

01:48:53.000 What gives you diarrhea?

01:48:54.000 You got a problem with the digestive tract, son?

01:48:57.000 What the fuck?

01:49:00.000 Is that going to be something you're going to store in the bank for later or something?

01:49:03.000 Well, he has two questions for you.

01:49:05.000 That's one of them.

01:49:06.000 And the other one is, do you believe in Bigfoot?

01:49:08.000 Yeah.

01:49:10.000 I already said who killed Biggie already once.

01:49:12.000 Yeah, we already did that one.

01:49:13.000 But Do You Believe in Bigfoot is a good one.

01:49:15.000 Yeah.

01:49:16.000 The funny thing is I just watched an in-depth show on one of these things called...

01:49:20.000 It's like fucking...

01:49:22.000 Like about...

01:49:24.000 This show on History Channel or whatnot, it's all about connecting the ancient world with aliens.

01:49:30.000 Right.

01:49:31.000 Ancient aliens.

01:49:33.000 Is that what it's called?

01:49:34.000 Yeah, on the History Channel.

01:49:34.000 And one of them, they're trying to say Bigfoot is possibly some kind of hybrid alien creature.

01:49:42.000 Is it possible that Bigfoot maybe an alien?

01:49:44.000 And that he's traveling interdimensionally, and that's why we're never catching him, because he's moving through portals of time and space that we can't possibly understand.

01:49:51.000 Well, it could be.

01:49:52.000 Fuck.

01:49:53.000 Let's make a show.

01:49:54.000 Didn't this guy die?

01:49:55.000 The guy who, like, said he perpetrated the whole Bigfoot thing and, like, they found all these, like, casts and things he made to make foots and what?

01:50:03.000 No.

01:50:03.000 Am I wrong about that?

01:50:04.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:50:05.000 There's more than one person, first of all.

01:50:07.000 There's been a lot of people.

01:50:09.000 I remember a few years ago, a guy died and they were like, he says everything was a hoax.

01:50:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:50:14.000 There's been people that have done hoaxes.

01:50:15.000 I checked out after that episode.

01:50:17.000 See, there have been people that have done hoaxes.

01:50:20.000 There's no question about it.

01:50:21.000 There's been a lot.

01:50:21.000 But if there's not one guy, if there have been hoaxes, there have been hoaxes all over the fucking country and all over the Pacific Northwest.

01:50:29.000 There's a lot of shit in the Pacific Northwest where it's like Monkey Canyon, Ape Creek, Ape Bluffs.

01:50:35.000 It's ape.

01:50:36.000 A lot of ape shit.

01:50:37.000 And one of the reasons is because...

01:50:38.000 The Pacific Northwest coast of the United States has a long history of Bigfoot sightings.

01:50:44.000 Is it people are high as fuck and they just see a bear walking on two legs?

01:50:47.000 It's possible.

01:50:48.000 Who the fuck knows?

01:50:49.000 Is it possible that there was a big primate that used to live in the woods?

01:50:52.000 That's possible, too, man.

01:50:53.000 Oh, yeah.

01:50:54.000 That's possible.

01:50:54.000 I don't say it's impossible.

01:50:56.000 I'm just saying, at this point, really, all the technology, iPhones, this, that, and the other, nobody's caught a flick of the dude.

01:51:02.000 Absolutely.

01:51:02.000 You would think that.

01:51:03.000 Nobody's caught a flick.

01:51:04.000 And if they do catch a flick, it's like fucking...

01:51:07.000 I just saw something on Yahoo or something just in the last couple days about a guy who says he caught the best picture ever of the Loch Ness Monster.

01:51:14.000 Yeah, I saw that.

01:51:14.000 And it was like a little kind of spine, even in the article.

01:51:17.000 It says it looks like it was a manatee or something.

01:51:19.000 Yeah, and if the Loch Ness monster was real, even if it was a real thing, it wouldn't fuck with, like, a great white shark.

01:51:26.000 A great white shark, which is a real thing, is way crazier than this stupid Loch Ness monster.

01:51:31.000 The Loch Ness monster's not killing anybody.

01:51:33.000 Unless it's a dragon.

01:51:34.000 They had to shut down the beaches in Santa Barbara.

01:51:36.000 Unless the Loch Ness is a dragon, Joe.

01:51:38.000 What if the Loch Ness was a dragon that lived in her water?

01:51:40.000 Oh, it actually has, like, fire?

01:51:40.000 Yeah.

01:51:41.000 Yeah, but there's no evidence of that.

01:51:43.000 Last dragon.

01:51:43.000 Okay, well, what if it was a unicorn?

01:51:45.000 Ha!

01:51:46.000 But my point is...

01:51:47.000 Y'all are watching too much of that Game of Thrones, man.

01:51:49.000 That's what it seems like to me.

01:51:50.000 It's the greatest show of all time.

01:51:51.000 It's up there.

01:51:52.000 I have it tied with...

01:51:54.000 See, I only got into Breaking Bad recently.

01:51:56.000 Like, right before this new season started.

01:51:58.000 Like, Danny Boy had always been trying to tell me that's a great show.

01:52:01.000 I got so bored on my last tour traveling, I downloaded, like, all the seasons.

01:52:05.000 And they had like a special deal, like 30 bucks, and you get all four seasons.

01:52:08.000 I was like, screw it, I'll buy it.

01:52:09.000 I started watching it.

01:52:10.000 I did not stop for like six days watching Breaking Bad.

01:52:14.000 I have to get back to it, because I did it from this whole right tattoo, my right sleeve.

01:52:18.000 The whole time I did it, Aaron Della Vadova guru tattoo, holla at your boy.

01:52:24.000 While he was doing it, I listened to, or watched rather the whole first season.

01:52:28.000 I was like, god damn, this is a bizarre show.

01:52:30.000 It gets better, dude.

01:52:31.000 They haven't let me down yet.

01:52:32.000 Like, I'm waiting for the...

01:52:35.000 It's nice.

01:52:36.000 It's a good show.

01:52:37.000 What is his name?

01:52:37.000 Bryan Cranston?

01:52:38.000 Is that his name?

01:52:38.000 The lead actor?

01:52:40.000 Yeah, I think so.

01:52:41.000 The dude who plays his...

01:52:44.000 The younger dude was in one of my videos many years ago.

01:52:46.000 White Trash Beautiful.

01:52:48.000 What's his real name?

01:52:50.000 I forget.

01:52:52.000 We just had him over on the studio the other day.

01:52:54.000 Man, I see his name all the time.

01:52:56.000 Who did you have been here with?

01:52:58.000 Naughty Show, but at the last second his manager said that he can't do it, so he just had to sit here.

01:53:03.000 What?

01:53:04.000 Yeah.

01:53:05.000 What?

01:53:06.000 Because he's in some kind of bullying campaign, so he's not allowed to do any adult Themed podcast until because it's like it for the kids and stuff so he's in a weird contract.

01:53:15.000 What is bullying you have to do with sex?

01:53:17.000 I don't know.

01:53:18.000 Aaron something or Aaron?

01:53:19.000 Isn't it weird how they like they can decide what your personality should be like?

01:53:23.000 They can decide what you attach yourself to?

01:53:25.000 He was in one of my videos.

01:53:27.000 He played a truck driver.

01:53:28.000 Yeah?

01:53:28.000 Yeah.

01:53:29.000 White Trash Beautiful.

01:53:30.000 That's the video.

01:53:31.000 Oh, that's awesome.

01:53:32.000 Jesse sniffing fucking math in there, dude.

01:53:38.000 Yeah, that's an unusual show.

01:53:40.000 I've heard The Wire is really awesome, too.

01:53:41.000 I loved that show, but that show's over.

01:53:44.000 That might be the best cop show ever.

01:53:47.000 Never watched it.

01:53:48.000 I watched a couple episodes, and apparently it gets really good.

01:53:51.000 I didn't give it a chance.

01:53:52.000 The first two seasons, I kick off really hard, and then they go off into this other tangent where they almost lost me at that time, where they went off to a whole different part of the city and did a whole new story.

01:54:02.000 It felt like they were scrapping the whole earlier shit, but...

01:54:05.000 It all kind of comes around into a circle.

01:54:08.000 And it was one of the best endings I think I've ever seen.

01:54:12.000 No, I won't tell you.

01:54:13.000 I'm just saying it ends well.

01:54:15.000 It doesn't leave you like, oh, it felt like a complete project.

01:54:19.000 All right, I'm going to have to get to it now.

01:54:21.000 God damn it.

01:54:22.000 It's good.

01:54:22.000 Everybody says you have to.

01:54:23.000 Yeah, The Wire's good.

01:54:24.000 You have to get a chance.

01:54:25.000 The Wire's great.

01:54:27.000 I just love that they can do shit like what they can do with Game of Thrones now.

01:54:31.000 I mean, you can make, like, incredible special effects for a fraction of what it used to cost.

01:54:36.000 They can do it with, like, regular computers now.

01:54:38.000 I shook Johnny Cash's hand in my video.

01:54:41.000 Really?

01:54:41.000 Not even shake his hand.

01:54:42.000 I gave him a pound.

01:54:43.000 Like, bye-bye.

01:54:44.000 Really?

01:54:44.000 Oh yeah, dude.

01:54:45.000 In the Vols in Prison video.

01:54:47.000 When I made that song, I'm serious about shit.

01:54:51.000 Is that online?

01:54:52.000 Can we see that?

01:54:52.000 I went to Nashville and met with his son just to be like, look, are y'all cool with this?

01:54:57.000 Because I was mixing it with hip-hop with the Cypress Hill beat on the version that's on the record.

01:55:03.000 So I wanted to be respectful as I could to Johnny Cash's legacy.

01:55:07.000 So I took it to them and I was like, yo, you liked the song, you loved it.

01:55:11.000 And then, when I was thinking of ideas to do the video, we came across the stuff, and I had known about it, but I'd forgotten about it.

01:55:19.000 They had just released this DVD box set of the Johnny Cash variety show.

01:55:25.000 And so I bought it and started watching it, and I was like, how great would it be if I was on the Johnny Cash show?

01:55:30.000 And there it was, it's just behind you.

01:55:32.000 Like, he had his own, he had like a variety show, and like...

01:55:38.000 They let us use the footage, man.

01:55:39.000 They liked it.

01:55:40.000 I mean, that's something they could have easily been like, hell no.

01:55:43.000 You can't use that.

01:55:44.000 I mean...

01:55:45.000 That's so awesome.

01:55:46.000 Look at that.

01:55:47.000 I hear that train coming, coming around the bend.

01:55:51.000 And I ain't seen the sunshine since I don't know where...

01:55:56.000 They're singing along!

01:55:57.000 The crap is...

01:55:58.000 Yeah, it's all crap.

01:55:59.000 People from the 50s.

01:56:00.000 He's dragging on.

01:56:05.000 That train just keeps a rolling On down the sand and tone And I was just a baby Like all those edits and fades Or like the style the show would use, you know what I mean?

01:56:22.000 Yeah!

01:56:23.000 Yeah.

01:56:53.000 This is funny.

01:56:56.000 It was like, you know, but the point is, like, you were talking about how cheaply you can do some of this stuff, man.

01:56:59.000 It really didn't cost that much at all because the technology is there, you know?

01:57:03.000 Wouldn't you love to be able to perform for a crowd like that, a real crowd like that, and just blow their motherfucking minds?

01:57:09.000 The very end is me and him sitting next to each other, and he gives me a pound.

01:57:13.000 I've always felt like what would it be like to be able to go back to the 1950s and do stand-up and just fuck their brains up sideways.

01:57:21.000 They would have no idea what you're doing.

01:57:24.000 They'd be like, what is this guy saying?

01:57:26.000 What?

01:57:27.000 What are you talking about?

01:57:28.000 Just cursing you'd be.

01:57:30.000 Yeah.

01:57:30.000 Could you imagine going up and doing...

01:57:32.000 Did you see that dog?

01:57:34.000 That was funny, man.

01:57:35.000 Could you imagine if you did jump around in front of a 1950s crowd?

01:57:38.000 Oh, that is awesome!

01:57:41.000 Blow it up.

01:57:42.000 How'd you do that?

01:57:42.000 I don't know.

01:57:43.000 I sat next to a dude.

01:57:44.000 I sat next to a dude and he was wearing a black jacket and gave him a pound.

01:57:48.000 And the next thing you know is Johnny Cash giving me a pound back, man.

01:57:52.000 That shit was crazy.

01:57:57.000 Wow, that looks good.

01:57:59.000 That's some Forrest Gump shit right there.

01:58:01.000 Forrest Gump shit.

01:58:02.000 That's amazing.

01:58:04.000 You know, that's what it was.

01:58:05.000 It was like, let's get on some Forrest Gump type shit.

01:58:07.000 That's amazing, man.

01:58:08.000 Jump onto the old Johnny Cash show.

01:58:10.000 What do you think would happen if you went in front of a 1950s crowd and did jump around?

01:58:14.000 Do you think they would be able to deal with it?

01:58:15.000 Fucking look at you like you were bat shit crazy, man.

01:58:18.000 Imagine if there was no hip hop, okay?

01:58:20.000 So there was no amalgamation of hip hop.

01:58:22.000 There was no what the fuck you guys were doing.

01:58:24.000 Bagpipes and shit.

01:58:25.000 It was all rowdy.

01:58:26.000 Jump up, jump up.

01:58:28.000 They would just look at you like you were fucking an alien.

01:58:31.000 I'm sure of it.

01:58:32.000 They'd be frightened by the sounds that the song made, first of all.

01:58:36.000 They'd be like...

01:58:44.000 There was no bragging music back then.

01:58:46.000 Not like that.

01:58:47.000 No.

01:58:48.000 It's like, the leader of the pack.

01:58:50.000 Vroom, vroom.

01:58:52.000 Can you imagine?

01:58:53.000 You come along and jump around.

01:58:55.000 God damn.

01:58:56.000 It's funny how the culture just sort of evolves and changes.

01:59:00.000 And it's hard to imagine it ever going back to where it was in the 50s or the clothes they wore in the 70s or any of that shit.

01:59:07.000 It's never going to happen.

01:59:08.000 But you can see where back then that was what was up.

01:59:11.000 That's what was up.

01:59:12.000 You could see it all laid out.

01:59:13.000 You could see it all moving forward.

01:59:15.000 We're just tired of the old shit.

01:59:17.000 We need something new.

01:59:18.000 It gets more and more complicated.

01:59:20.000 We live in a fucking weird maze of humanity, man.

01:59:25.000 Human beings are the wackiest motherfuckers of all time.

01:59:27.000 Yeah, there's a lot of broken machines out there, man.

01:59:32.000 There's no manuals.

01:59:34.000 Everybody gets a Ferrari with no fucking owner's manual.

01:59:37.000 We're all just grinding gears and running into trees and shit.

01:59:42.000 That's how we do it.

01:59:43.000 Not figuring out how to use the mind correctly.

01:59:46.000 You got another one for us?

01:59:47.000 I got as many as you need, man.

01:59:49.000 I do this.

01:59:51.000 I know you do.

01:59:52.000 I'd be like, Joe, you got another joke for me?

01:59:54.000 Let's do it.

01:59:58.000 I'm trying to think what to play here.

02:00:01.000 Do you do any other kind of covers?

02:00:04.000 I can really butcher some Bill Withers.

02:00:09.000 This is really bad.

02:00:10.000 Bad guitar playing, but I like this song.

02:00:12.000 and I'll play it since you want to cover it now.

02:00:14.000 All right.

02:00:15.000 Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

02:00:25.000 Grandma's hand Clapped in church on Sunday morning.

02:00:30.000 Grandma's hand Played the tambourine so well.

02:00:36.000 Grandma's hand Used to issue an old warning She sang

02:00:42.000 Billy, don't you run so fast Might fall on a piece of glass Might be snakes down in that grass Grandma's hand Grandma's hand Soothe the local unwed mother Grandma's hand Used to ache sometimes and swell Grandma's hand Used to lift her face and tell her she said Baby

02:01:13.000 grandma understands That you really love that man Put yourself in Jesus' hands Grandma Grandma's hand used to give me a piece of candy.

02:01:31.000 Grandma's hand picked me up each time I fell.

02:01:36.000 Grandma's hand used to really come in handy.

02:01:40.000 She'd say, Matty, don't you whoop that boy.

02:01:44.000 What you want to spank him for?

02:01:47.000 He ain't dropped no apple core, but I don't have grandma anymore.

02:01:53.000 When I get to heaven, I'll look for Grandma's hand.

02:02:01.000 That was awesome.

02:02:11.000 Shit.

02:02:13.000 You know, that's one of my heroes.

02:02:15.000 Wow.

02:02:16.000 That's beautiful, man.

02:02:18.000 You know, you've known 20 of his songs.

02:02:20.000 Like...

02:02:21.000 Ain't no sunshine.

02:02:24.000 Lovely day.

02:02:25.000 Lovely day.

02:02:26.000 That dude's the shit.

02:02:27.000 Bill Withers.

02:02:28.000 If you ain't seen it, you should check out Still Bill.

02:02:31.000 It's a documentary about him.

02:02:33.000 It's really good.

02:02:34.000 Is he still alive?

02:02:35.000 Yeah.

02:02:36.000 But he has a studio at his house.

02:02:38.000 He makes music and locks it away.

02:02:40.000 He don't release it.

02:02:41.000 Nothing, dude.

02:02:41.000 He just makes music.

02:02:43.000 Oh, wow.

02:02:43.000 He's just on some fuck the music business.

02:02:46.000 Wow.

02:02:46.000 What about all the people that would love to hear it?

02:02:49.000 I don't know.

02:02:50.000 I got to re-watch it, but I remember, because I watched it on the bus where you get, you know, I watch it for a little while, I watch it for a little while, but it's like, you know, his daughter's in the business.

02:02:58.000 I think he's just, I mean, his songs, I'm sure his catalog makes a lot of money, man.

02:03:03.000 Isn't that crazy?

02:03:03.000 Because you hear his songs everywhere.

02:03:06.000 Movies, that Use Me song, and Ain't No Sunshine, and Lovely Day, and Who is he and what is he to you?

02:03:13.000 A man with past just tried to stare me down.

02:03:18.000 But when he looked at you, you looked at the ground.

02:03:22.000 You know what I mean?

02:03:23.000 Those songs are everywhere.

02:03:25.000 Grandma's Hands, that's a classic.

02:03:27.000 It's got a song about a Vietnam veteran called I Can't Write Left-Handed by the guy who lost his right arm in the war and he can't write left-handed.

02:03:36.000 It's crazy, man.

02:03:37.000 Deep songs, I like that.

02:03:39.000 There's all the hip-hop heroes I have, and then there's cats like Bill Withers, Neil Young, Tom Waits.

02:03:46.000 Those are the cats on the songwriting side of things that tickle my fancy.

02:03:52.000 Yeah, Neil Young has written some pretty intense lyrics.

02:03:55.000 He's a good dude.

02:03:56.000 I was working at a concert venue when Neil Young was playing there and a riot broke out.

02:04:02.000 They had to shut the show down.

02:04:03.000 Oh yeah?

02:04:04.000 Yeah, it was in the 80s.

02:04:06.000 There was a lawn area.

02:04:08.000 It was called Great Woods.

02:04:09.000 It's in Mansfield, Massachusetts.

02:04:11.000 I think I know Great Woods.

02:04:12.000 And there's the area that's covered by a structure.

02:04:17.000 Yeah, we call them sheds.

02:04:18.000 Shed?

02:04:18.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:04:19.000 And then there's a back area where it's grassy.

02:04:20.000 Like the amphitheaters is what they are.

02:04:22.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:04:22.000 And the grassy area, they started fires.

02:04:25.000 People were cold, and so they lit things on fire.

02:04:28.000 And then the security came over and told them they got to put the fire out.

02:04:32.000 And next thing you know, all hell broke loose, and it was crazy, and they shut the show down.

02:04:35.000 Wow.

02:04:36.000 Fucking people were lighting fires.

02:04:38.000 They were like, let's just start a bonfire.

02:04:41.000 In the lawn.

02:04:42.000 Hippies always want to have a fire.

02:04:44.000 There were just too many people that were fucked up, too.

02:04:47.000 That's funny.

02:04:48.000 Yeah, it was interesting, man.

02:04:50.000 But getting to see him on stage from really close up, I was like 19 when I had that gig.

02:04:57.000 It's a weird thing for a young kid to see someone that they've seen in movies or heard on a record, and then they're like, right there!

02:05:05.000 They're right there!

02:05:06.000 It's a strange thing for young people to...

02:05:10.000 I really dig Neil Young, man.

02:05:11.000 My father was big on Neil Young, so it's one of the things that I... When you're young and you hear this music and you kind of just reject it on general principle because it's your parents' music.

02:05:22.000 Right.

02:05:22.000 And then 20 years later you re-examine it and you're like, wow, man, I know all these songs and they're really good.

02:05:27.000 Yeah.

02:05:28.000 That's kind of where all that comes from.

02:05:30.000 I had a good memory for the music.

02:05:33.000 Yeah, there was a lot of music that I had to go back to.

02:05:40.000 What is that?

02:05:42.000 Listening to the tide slowly turning.

02:05:45.000 Who sings that?

02:05:47.000 Go ahead.

02:05:48.000 Wash your heartache away.

02:05:51.000 Moody Blues.

02:05:52.000 Moody Blues.

02:05:52.000 My parents had that and I fucking didn't like it because my stepfather was always playing.

02:05:56.000 I'm like, this shit's annoying.

02:05:57.000 I want to play some Kiss.

02:05:58.000 Right.

02:05:59.000 I couldn't get into it.

02:05:59.000 I was like, that's his old man whack music.

02:06:02.000 I just couldn't.

02:06:03.000 But as I got older, I would listen to a Moody Blues song and go, my God, that's a fucking masterpiece.

02:06:10.000 Like, holy shit, Moody Blues don't get any respect.

02:06:14.000 Nobody's like, I'm a huge Moody Blues fan.

02:06:17.000 Yeah, you're right.

02:06:18.000 That doesn't come up.

02:06:19.000 Pull that song up, just the beginning part of it, because this is a beautiful song, man.

02:06:25.000 And I couldn't appreciate it.

02:06:27.000 What's it called?

02:06:29.000 Story of Your Eyes, is that it?

02:06:31.000 I'm not a big moody blues fan.

02:06:34.000 Story in your eyes, moody blues.

02:06:37.000 You're not a big moody blues fan.

02:06:39.000 It's not even that I don't like them.

02:06:41.000 Honestly, I barely recognize the song you sang me.

02:06:44.000 I bet you've heard it before.

02:06:46.000 You've heard this.

02:06:49.000 Yes, I've heard this.

02:06:51.000 I've definitely heard this.

02:06:58.000 Oh, fuck yeah.

02:07:00.000 This is pre-internet bitches.

02:07:02.000 Can you feel this?

02:07:24.000 Listen to the times slowly turning.

02:07:29.000 Wash your heart, break away.

02:07:34.000 I didn't do it at all, man.

02:07:39.000 Hey, but that's music, you know what I mean?

02:07:42.000 You know what I love about that song, man?

02:07:43.000 First of all, that dude must have got a mountain of pussy from singing that song.

02:07:47.000 I mean, I want to fuck, and I'm a guy, and it's years later.

02:07:52.000 Kind of reminds me also of some Blue Oyster Cult kind of sound.

02:07:56.000 I was never big on them either.

02:07:57.000 Oh, I love that song, man.

02:07:58.000 Story in Your Eyes.

02:08:00.000 One of the reasons why I love it is why some dudes love old cars.

02:08:04.000 You know, it's not just a song to me.

02:08:06.000 It's like a little historic ride.

02:08:08.000 Of course.

02:08:08.000 Yeah, so when I listen to Jimi Hendrix, when I listen to Voodoo Child, it's not a song to me.

02:08:13.000 It's a historic ride.

02:08:14.000 I'm going to go on a ride as a dead man.

02:08:17.000 And he's rocking the shit out of my car on the 210. I'm driving in my car and a dude who's been dead for decades.

02:08:23.000 And simultaneously transporting you to probably the first time in your life where you heard that.

02:08:28.000 Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

02:08:30.000 I always associate, one of the reasons why I like classic rock so much is like, that's what I associate with that Leonard Skinner song when we're all at a barbecue.

02:08:37.000 Like, right out of high school.

02:08:39.000 Party.

02:08:39.000 Yeah.

02:08:40.000 It's fun, fun music.

02:08:43.000 Absolutely.

02:08:45.000 Jimi Hendrix, man.

02:08:46.000 Listening to that shit in 2012. He's dead for decades.

02:08:50.000 But all you have to do is find that shit on your thing.

02:08:53.000 Press play.

02:08:54.000 Can you do it with that?

02:09:02.000 Oh, I don't know that song.

02:09:04.000 I used to know it.

02:09:10.000 I used to know a Jimi Hendrix song, now I can't, for the life of me, can't remember it.

02:09:13.000 All right, is that?

02:09:22.000 Hey, Joe, right.

02:09:34.000 Right?

02:09:35.000 Yeah!

02:09:36.000 Where you doin' with that gun in your hand?

02:09:43.000 I know a little bit.

02:09:44.000 It's one of the things you pull out for barbecues or beach fire pits.

02:09:50.000 You add an effect to your voice.

02:09:52.000 Isn't it interesting?

02:09:54.000 With dudes like Hendrix, there's certain iconic figures like James Dean and Hendrix and Morrison.

02:10:01.000 They had an impact and then they're in the picture forever.

02:10:05.000 They're in the picture forever.

02:10:06.000 You're never getting away from Jimi Hendrix.

02:10:08.000 If there's a guitar, if someone's talking about guitar, If you want to use a sample, one of my favorite songs ever is someone made a mashup of 99 Problems with Voodoo Child.

02:10:18.000 It's fucking sensational.

02:10:20.000 It's hard to fuck with because you got Jay-Z singing 99 Problems, which is a great song, and then you got Jimi Hendrix playing the Voodoo Child soundtrack over it.

02:10:29.000 Ugh.

02:10:31.000 Certain dudes.

02:10:32.000 But isn't it crazy that certain dudes, like, there's certain parts of society where if you have an immense amount of success and then die young, you're just in the vernacular forever.

02:10:43.000 You're one of the characters.

02:10:44.000 Also, not just the success those people have had, I mean, like, there was an impact.

02:10:52.000 Like, nothing sounded like Jimi Hendrix before Jimi Hendrix.

02:10:56.000 I mean, even the guys at the time, like, Clapton and And Keith Richards and all these dudes were like, jaw dropped, like, what the f- this dude's ruining it for everybody.

02:11:06.000 You know, that kind of thing.

02:11:08.000 Janis Joplin, you know, nobody had seen a white girl sing with that kind of just anguish.

02:11:14.000 You know, there was- at that moment, a lot of- That era is like basically nothing, the only thing new in the last 30 years, truly new in music, was hip-hop.

02:11:27.000 And even that was recycled old stuff.

02:11:29.000 But it was just the delivery of it that was new.

02:11:32.000 You know what I mean?

02:11:33.000 Everything else is a recycling of blues music, jazz music, classical music.

02:11:39.000 It's all recycled.

02:11:40.000 The Beatles did everything.

02:11:43.000 There's no trick that's been done that the Beatles probably didn't pull off already.

02:11:48.000 With only 8 tracks at their availability while Cats today have 5,000 tracks at their availability.

02:11:54.000 How does that work when you say tracks?

02:11:56.000 I know what 8 tracks is.

02:11:57.000 In their day, to have more than 8 things on separate...

02:12:02.000 The quality of recording depends a lot of times on how much you can separate the individual instruments and deal with their balance and the EQs of them and getting each individual sounding sharp and having what we call a shelf.

02:12:16.000 Which means all sounds are audible, but they all occupy different spaces.

02:12:21.000 You know what I mean?

02:12:21.000 Each instrument is equal and you feel the weight the way they should, but they have different shelves.

02:12:26.000 So if you looked at it on the graph, there would be eight separate columns.

02:12:28.000 The things that when you were high, all of a sudden that you thought were all together that you can find the separation in, that's from multi-track recording and fucking being able to Otherwise, you had to do everything.

02:12:41.000 And the Beatles made records that had orchestrations in the middle of them.

02:12:47.000 So they were bouncing seven tracks down to one track.

02:12:51.000 So they were mixing while they were doing other things.

02:12:54.000 It's bananas when you think about what they pulled off making records with the technology that was available to them.

02:13:03.000 Now it would almost be like, oh, that's easy stuff.

02:13:05.000 Wow.

02:13:06.000 Back then, it was like they had to invent ways to do what they were doing, literally, every day.

02:13:10.000 A lot of musicians had to do that with their pedals and effects.

02:13:14.000 Jimi Hendrix always had a guy around and him probably toying with things like, how can we make this pedal sound different?

02:13:20.000 Because there was no mass-marketed crybaby pedals and all that shit.

02:13:27.000 People made their own shit, basically.

02:13:30.000 What a crazy time.

02:13:31.000 It's crazy when you think about how much it radically changed in the 60s when that came along from the 50s.

02:13:36.000 What two different eras have ever been separated by that much change?

02:13:41.000 The 50s to the 60s.

02:13:42.000 That is a really strange time for human history.

02:13:46.000 Drugs, man.

02:13:47.000 Some drugs came into play, man.

02:13:48.000 I'm telling you, in a major way.

02:13:49.000 Fuck, yeah.

02:13:50.000 That's exactly what it is.

02:13:51.000 Psychedelics and cocaine.

02:13:52.000 LSD when it was legal.

02:13:54.000 No one knew.

02:13:55.000 Meanwhile, everybody was taking it.

02:13:56.000 Everyone from Steve Jobs to...

02:13:59.000 Scientists and professors.

02:14:01.000 It changed my life.

02:14:02.000 I wouldn't recommend it to somebody at my stage of life to do it, but when I did it, it benefited me.

02:14:09.000 Good trips, bad trips, all that shit, like, made my mind a stronger thing, you know?

02:14:14.000 I also have homies that are one of the, you know, there was a gang of us and there's also a couple of them that are still kind of fucked up.

02:14:21.000 You know, a little off.

02:14:22.000 Yeah.

02:14:23.000 Oh, what happened to him?

02:14:24.000 Oh, yeah, you know, back in the day.

02:14:25.000 He's the guy, we always call him the guy that never came back.

02:14:28.000 You know what I mean?

02:14:28.000 That's the guy that never came back.

02:14:30.000 He stayed.

02:14:31.000 Pink Floyd had a song about that.

02:14:33.000 Yeah, the original guy.

02:14:34.000 Yeah.

02:14:35.000 That's a scary thing, but I always wonder.

02:14:37.000 Maybe he just can't fucking swim.

02:14:39.000 Get back over here, bitch.

02:14:40.000 Get your mental swimming together.

02:14:42.000 I wonder if it's possible that he just gave up.

02:14:45.000 Well, some people aren't prepared.

02:14:46.000 I mean, LSD, I remember, and if there's any physicists out there or doctors that know different, I vaguely remember we read about it.

02:14:54.000 We looked it up and like...

02:14:55.000 That basically the actual L25 drug that you take is gone by the time you're getting hallucinations.

02:15:01.000 It's like it triggers something in your mind like a gland or something in your mind that activates basically all the electrical outlets of your mind instead of being shut down opens it all up.

02:15:14.000 So basically you ain't hallucinating nothing that's not already in your brain.

02:15:18.000 Really?

02:15:18.000 That's acid?

02:15:20.000 Basically.

02:15:20.000 Wow, I didn't know that.

02:15:22.000 I could be wrong, but I took a lot of it when I was young.

02:15:26.000 I was also told once, it's in comparison to supposedly, and again, if this is ignorance that I'm spouting, I heard it somewhere else and I'm repeating it.

02:15:36.000 I am ignorant for saying it, but I usually have a pretty good sense for what makes sense and what can be true.

02:15:43.000 I've heard of swamis that cut the bottom of their tongues so they can swallow their tongues.

02:15:47.000 The reason supposedly for that is there's Apparently some gland behind this area inside your passage where they can reach up with their tongue supposedly and touch it.

02:15:58.000 What?

02:15:59.000 And it creates the same chemical effect of hallucinating.

02:16:04.000 So they cut their tongue?

02:16:06.000 I apologize for the ignorance if it's ignorance.

02:16:09.000 That's so crazy.

02:16:10.000 I've heard of the swamis cutting their tongue.

02:16:13.000 Why else would they cut it if not to swallow it?

02:16:15.000 Let's look it up.

02:16:16.000 See, I don't Google shit enough.

02:16:19.000 My brain just takes in information and says, I'm going to say that for a podcast one day.

02:16:23.000 That seems like something you would say when you're tripping to freak the other person out.

02:16:30.000 It could be.

02:16:30.000 That's why I said, hey, this might be ignorance.

02:16:32.000 I pre-qualified it, so nobody can give me no shit.

02:16:35.000 That's creepy.

02:16:36.000 If that's true, that's really creepy.

02:16:37.000 I ain't going to court and swearing on that shit, but I've heard this and read similar things.

02:16:43.000 But who knows who wrote those things?

02:16:45.000 You're absolutely right.

02:16:46.000 I could have been completely high and been reading the guy next to me scribblings.

02:16:51.000 Oh, God.

02:16:52.000 I found a terrible thing.

02:16:54.000 There's a tongue-cutting ritual where women cut off their tongue.

02:16:59.000 They cut off part of their tongue to honor a politician.

02:17:02.000 Yeah, this is awesome.

02:17:03.000 What I understand is the part of your tongue that keeps it attached, that little string underneath your tongue, is what they cut.

02:17:10.000 This woman actually had surgery to cut off a piece of her tongue so she couldn't talk.

02:17:17.000 Awesome.

02:17:18.000 Wow.

02:17:19.000 Was there a good reason?

02:17:21.000 There's no good reason.

02:17:22.000 She'd have to be crazy as fuck.

02:17:24.000 Yeah.

02:17:25.000 It's like that episode of the Twilight Zone where the guy bets him he can't talk for a year or something, and then he comes in and is like, I have to renege on the bad mannequin, and the guy cut his tongue out.

02:17:35.000 Wow, this is the...

02:17:36.000 I shouldn't even be reading this.

02:17:38.000 This woman was trying to get a job that pays $45 a month.

02:17:42.000 And she was trying to cut her tongue.

02:17:45.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.

02:17:47.000 What the fuck is wrong with me?

02:17:48.000 I can't even find anything about swamis.

02:17:50.000 You know, swamis swallowing their tongues?

02:17:51.000 Maybe I hallucinated that whole thing, man.

02:17:54.000 Yeah, these are all dudes cutting their tongue off because it sucks.

02:17:57.000 No, man.

02:17:58.000 Tongue swallowing?

02:17:59.000 Cut his tongue out.

02:18:00.000 This guy cut his tongue out.

02:18:01.000 How about tongue swallowing?

02:18:02.000 Tongue swallowing.

02:18:03.000 Let's Google that one.

02:18:04.000 Tongue swallowing butthole.

02:18:06.000 Is that really something that came up?

02:18:09.000 He adds butthole to everything.

02:18:13.000 Nowadays, you put a couple words in there and a whole list of shit comes up.

02:18:17.000 It's like, is this what you were looking for?

02:18:19.000 Some crazy things happened.

02:18:21.000 Swami magic.

02:18:23.000 Now a Swami is attached to a tongue swallowing.

02:18:27.000 Tongue glass eating razor blades.

02:18:30.000 Let's see.

02:18:33.000 Because I should know if this is true or not.

02:18:37.000 Tongue cutting is similar to what you see in The Amazing Jonathan do.

02:18:40.000 He uses a...

02:18:41.000 No, this is different.

02:18:43.000 This is like a stunt that people do.

02:18:45.000 Why do they call it swaminess?

02:18:47.000 I don't know.

02:18:47.000 There's an association there.

02:18:50.000 I'm guaranteeing it.

02:18:51.000 I believe you.

02:18:51.000 And it's not a radical feminist one.

02:18:56.000 Cut your tongue, swallow it.

02:18:59.000 This ass is hungry for tongues.

02:19:03.000 Should I Google that?

02:19:06.000 Yeah, I'm not finding anything there.

02:19:08.000 But there is a gland in the middle of your brain called the pineal gland, but I don't think you can reach it with your tongue.

02:19:14.000 That is the gland that supposedly is the third eye.

02:19:16.000 That's what they talk about.

02:19:17.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:19:17.000 Well, that's the gland I'm referring to.

02:19:19.000 See, I mean, so some of my shit, I'm telling you.

02:19:21.000 Yeah, it's close.

02:19:22.000 Keep looking.

02:19:23.000 Keep looking.

02:19:23.000 Because I'm telling you there's going to be something that I don't make things up unless they're really good.

02:19:29.000 Maybe I spelled Swami wrong.

02:19:30.000 How do you spell Swami?

02:19:32.000 Alami.

02:19:33.000 Let's say Swami Third Eye Tongue.

02:19:36.000 See, if that's not a band, it should be.

02:19:39.000 Third Eye Tongue Swami.

02:19:41.000 Yeah.

02:19:44.000 Swami Tongue.

02:19:44.000 Swami.

02:19:45.000 Have you ever thought about doing anything other than music?

02:19:48.000 Like, if you see, like, Mark McGrath hosting some celebrity show with a suit on, does that make you go, what the...

02:19:54.000 I wouldn't do that.

02:19:55.000 No, but I mean, like, I know Mark.

02:19:57.000 I've known him a long time, man.

02:19:59.000 But it makes total sense for a dude like him.

02:20:01.000 Like, his personality is kind of built for those...

02:20:03.000 He likes to be a host or something like that?

02:20:05.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:20:06.000 Do you think he would ever...

02:20:07.000 Even his...

02:20:08.000 Even the way he performs in a band, it kind of caters to that kind of entertainment.

02:20:13.000 He wants to entertain.

02:20:15.000 When you see Justin Timberlake doing movies, and you see a lot of rappers have done movies, do you ever think about doing any acting or any other kind of stuff?

02:20:22.000 I did that a long time ago.

02:20:23.000 Did you?

02:20:23.000 Yeah.

02:20:24.000 It's not my thing.

02:20:25.000 I think if you're good at it, do it.

02:20:27.000 You know what I mean?

02:20:27.000 God knows we wouldn't have...

02:20:29.000 Mark Wahlberg's a pretty good actor, man.

02:20:31.000 You know what I mean?

02:20:31.000 Yeah, he's a very good actor.

02:20:33.000 We wouldn't have known that by his rap career, though.

02:20:35.000 You know what I mean?

02:20:36.000 So...

02:20:37.000 Do what makes you feel good, man.

02:20:39.000 Tupac was an amazing actor.

02:20:40.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:20:41.000 Yeah, I just always wanted to know if you would...

02:20:43.000 Personally, I'm in my...

02:20:45.000 I would like to, you know, the older I get, I think about, you know, maybe, you know, some youngsters, you know, get some...

02:20:51.000 produce some younger acts or something.

02:20:54.000 Yeah, that'd be a great thing.

02:20:55.000 But that's, you know, still music, you know.

02:20:58.000 Yeah, right?

02:20:58.000 Stick with what you love, right?

02:21:00.000 That doesn't mean bombard me with demos either, please.

02:21:03.000 Oh, do you get a lot of that?

02:21:04.000 Nah, I don't.

02:21:05.000 People hand you things.

02:21:06.000 I try to give things respectful looks if something about it intrigues me, but if you just start spamming me with shit, I just block you.

02:21:14.000 The worst thing ever is when people want you to read their scripts.

02:21:17.000 Like, bitch, do you know how long that takes to read a script?

02:21:19.000 It's a fucking...

02:21:21.000 There's 110 pages of this bitch.

02:21:23.000 You want to read this whole thing?

02:21:25.000 That's like asking a written...

02:21:26.000 Give me the lowdown.

02:21:27.000 If the lowdown, you know...

02:21:28.000 I'm not a script reader.

02:21:30.000 What am I doing here?

02:21:32.000 The fuck, man?

02:21:33.000 Do you want to later swim past the breakers and watch the world die with my haircut?

02:21:39.000 That's where you're at right now, right?

02:21:41.000 You are.

02:21:41.000 What was that band?

02:21:43.000 I don't know.

02:21:44.000 Was it EverQuest?

02:21:45.000 No.

02:21:46.000 What the fuck is that band?

02:21:48.000 Santa Monica?

02:21:49.000 Oh, Everclear.

02:21:50.000 Everclear.

02:21:51.000 Everclear.

02:21:52.000 You do.

02:21:52.000 You look like the Everclear guy.

02:21:55.000 But that dude is like you if you had AIDS. Hey, did you get annoyed with that?

02:21:59.000 That guy having a similar name at the time?

02:22:01.000 Because it was kind of weird that there was all these Ever things.

02:22:05.000 Yeah, you know.

02:22:06.000 You should threaten that guy.

02:22:08.000 Well, Everclear is a very famous liquor.

02:22:12.000 It's weird that they would pick Everclear as their name.

02:22:14.000 There's another one, Evergreen.

02:22:16.000 Oh, really?

02:22:17.000 Yeah.

02:22:18.000 Like, I got a call one day, speaking to Neil Young, we were talking about him earlier.

02:22:20.000 I got a call one day, like, my buddy was like, yo, man, you're playing at the Forum, man?

02:22:24.000 With Neil Young?

02:22:25.000 I was like, what, I am?

02:22:26.000 I was like, I'm at home, dog.

02:22:27.000 I'm not playing at the Forum.

02:22:28.000 I was like, I don't know what the hell you're talking about.

02:22:30.000 It was on my laptop, and I googled it, and it's some band called Evergreen.

02:22:34.000 This is my friend calling me, by the way.

02:22:36.000 I'm like, can you fucking read, man?

02:22:39.000 But that was kind of like, yo, they hadn't been, I mean, I've been around 20 some odd years, man.

02:22:43.000 Come on now.

02:22:44.000 That's weird, though.

02:22:46.000 It's alright.

02:22:47.000 Because it is a different name.

02:22:48.000 You can't really own Ever.

02:22:50.000 I stole it from a fucking boxing glove, man.

02:22:52.000 Come on.

02:22:55.000 True, right?

02:22:56.000 The name was Eric Rocks Everlasting.

02:22:58.000 And then, you know, that was like my E-Rock E was my original, like, kind of rap name.

02:23:02.000 And I just kind of shortened it one day.

02:23:04.000 It was like Everlast.

02:23:05.000 Fuck it.

02:23:06.000 It's amazing how much...

02:23:07.000 And back then, not knowing copyright laws or anything like that, I was like, I already got a fucking logo.

02:23:13.000 I really kind of thought that.

02:23:14.000 I was like 17. I was like, yeah, I already got a fucking logo.

02:23:17.000 I'll just steal that logo.

02:23:18.000 You know what I mean?

02:23:18.000 I didn't really think about it.

02:23:20.000 Was there anybody else trying to be Everlast?

02:23:22.000 No.

02:23:22.000 Seems like a good name.

02:23:24.000 Seems like a name like that somebody else might want to swipe.

02:23:27.000 There's like a DJ that calls himself Everlast, which really I find funny.

02:23:31.000 Really?

02:23:31.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:23:32.000 Wait, why do I feel like I met this dude?

02:23:34.000 I don't know, but it's kind of a jerk-off move.

02:23:37.000 That's the one that would probably piss me off.

02:23:38.000 Like, Evergreen?

02:23:39.000 Nah.

02:23:40.000 Everclear?

02:23:40.000 Nah.

02:23:41.000 DJ Everlast?

02:23:42.000 Get the fuck off my nutsack, man.

02:23:44.000 Get the fuck off my nutsack, man.

02:23:46.000 Yeah, that's fucked up.

02:23:48.000 Yeah, I met this dude.

02:23:49.000 I'm pretty sure I met him in like...

02:23:50.000 If you meet him again, give him a little smack.

02:23:52.000 Give him a little smack.

02:23:53.000 Like, hey, hey, hey.

02:23:54.000 What if you met a dude and he's like, yo, man, I'm Fro Rogan, man.

02:24:00.000 I'm a comedian, dude.

02:24:03.000 DJ Everlast Music.

02:24:04.000 He's on Myspace, man.

02:24:06.000 Tight.

02:24:07.000 He's on Myspace.

02:24:08.000 He's on Myspace.

02:24:09.000 Wow, dude.

02:24:09.000 I haven't even looked at Myspace in like six years.

02:24:11.000 Isn't it weird?

02:24:13.000 Myspace is still there, though.

02:24:14.000 I think I still have one, though.

02:24:16.000 But my management is the only people who even go near it, probably.

02:24:19.000 But how strange if you really stop and think about the fact that it's still there.

02:24:22.000 And nobody goes there anymore.

02:24:24.000 Like, what did they do to fuck it up so bad?

02:24:26.000 And they kind of set it all off.

02:24:28.000 Yeah, they set it all off.

02:24:30.000 They made Dane Cook.

02:24:31.000 If it wasn't for Myspace, I mean, Myspace, literally, there was an article, I will never forget, it was in People Magazine.

02:24:36.000 They're responsible for Tequila.

02:24:38.000 Yeah.

02:24:39.000 Oh, yeah.

02:24:39.000 They jumped her the fuck off.

02:24:41.000 Thank God.

02:24:43.000 She's here for us now, man.

02:24:45.000 She had to provide us entertainment.

02:24:46.000 Be the first female juggalo or whatever.

02:24:51.000 MySpace was the shit at one point in time for clubs to want to promote like we had a gig.

02:24:56.000 You go on MySpace.

02:24:57.000 That's how you promote your gig.

02:24:59.000 Good luck now, bitch.

02:25:01.000 Joey Diaz stopped using it even.

02:25:03.000 When Joey Diaz stops using MySpace, it's over.

02:25:05.000 That's how he was writing his blogs.

02:25:07.000 He was writing them all on MySpace.

02:25:08.000 I have not literally even looked at it.

02:25:11.000 I haven't even thought to look at it.

02:25:14.000 It's an ancient thing to me.

02:25:17.000 It is, but it's so amazing that it happened so fast.

02:25:20.000 It was within a couple years.

02:25:21.000 It was giant.

02:25:23.000 Everybody was using it, and it was like, Facebook's better.

02:25:25.000 Fuck this.

02:25:26.000 And they just all left.

02:25:27.000 Look, my old MySpace.

02:25:29.000 It's still there.

02:25:29.000 Hey, look, there you are.

02:25:30.000 Wow.

02:25:32.000 That's hilarious, dude.

02:25:34.000 What's funny is my picture was like I had the same avatar for the longest time.

02:25:37.000 And then when I left my space, I just took myself out of the picture.

02:25:42.000 Like I used to be standing in front of this painting right here.

02:25:45.000 Oh.

02:25:46.000 You just cut it out.

02:25:47.000 Left the painting.

02:25:47.000 Left the painting there.

02:25:49.000 Brian's not here, man.

02:25:51.000 Jenna Jameson.

02:25:52.000 Yeah, it was a strange thing, MySpace.

02:25:54.000 Out of nowhere, takes off, everybody's on it, and then it goes away.

02:25:59.000 And then Facebook, then Twitter.

02:26:02.000 The crazy part is, if you remember, Facebook really wasn't that big, man.

02:26:08.000 And then what happened that changes these things?

02:26:11.000 Crazy world events change these things.

02:26:14.000 At least this is my perception of it.

02:26:17.000 You know, which is, you already heard my Swami story, so I could be way off here.

02:26:21.000 But if I remember correctly, not too many people were messing with Facebook until that Virginia Tech shooting.

02:26:28.000 Really?

02:26:28.000 And then they started, the news was like, the guy has a Facebook page, and then it's like, all of America.

02:26:33.000 I mean, that's when Facebook was around, people were messing with it.

02:26:36.000 But I'm talking about, it didn't go nuts until after that event.

02:26:41.000 Cut to Alex Jones going, well, what happened was Facebook engineered the shooting.

02:26:46.000 They got him.

02:26:47.000 It was a Manhattan Project type event.

02:26:50.000 It was top, top secret, and they brought him out to the desert.

02:26:53.000 I'm not selling you that.

02:26:54.000 I'm just selling you that when you hear Facebook 4,000 times on every 24-hour news network, you get curious about it, and people started looking and probably wanted to see the fucking Disturbed Fuckers page.

02:27:06.000 People want to see that kind of shit.

02:27:08.000 Then Twitter was...

02:27:10.000 On the bubble, I'm not saying these things weren't around.

02:27:13.000 I'm talking about when did they crack and go fucking global.

02:27:16.000 Twitter was the fucking Arab Spring.

02:27:20.000 I heard Friendster's offices was in Tower 7. Like the office of Friendster was in Tower 7 when it went down.

02:27:28.000 Really?

02:27:29.000 No. Dude.

02:27:35.000 Yeah, man.

02:27:36.000 I remember finding dudes in the news that killed somebody.

02:27:39.000 That one got by before I even knew about that kind of shit.

02:27:43.000 Friendster was old when I first heard of it.

02:27:45.000 Yeah, same here.

02:27:46.000 It's like CompuServe.

02:27:47.000 Remember that?

02:27:48.000 Yeah.

02:27:48.000 Do you remember that?

02:27:49.000 Yeah.

02:27:50.000 Prodigy.

02:27:51.000 Yeah, Prodigy.

02:27:52.000 Did you ever have an Angel Fire website?

02:27:54.000 No, no.

02:27:55.000 But one of my homies went and he came home to the studio and had to grab something out of his email or something and he fired up America AOL. I was like...

02:28:04.000 I heard that.

02:28:05.000 That's exactly what I heard.

02:28:06.000 You've got mail.

02:28:06.000 I was like, man, that sounded just like that.

02:28:08.000 You've got mail.

02:28:09.000 I was like, you're still on America Online.

02:28:11.000 That's crazy, man.

02:28:12.000 I mean, but, you know, says the guy with an Earthlink address.

02:28:15.000 Earthlink.

02:28:16.000 Earthlink.net.

02:28:17.000 I wonder who was the guy that did the voice for, you've got mail.

02:28:20.000 I wonder.

02:28:21.000 It's probably not even a real human.

02:28:22.000 It was probably cool to date that dude and have sex with that dude during the time of the AOL boom.

02:28:26.000 He probably had some fun things to say in bed.

02:28:28.000 Do you think he was doing that?

02:28:29.000 He was just doing that voice everywhere?

02:28:30.000 That was his shit?

02:28:31.000 I'm gonna fuck you in the ass.

02:28:32.000 He was like Max Headroom?

02:28:34.000 Yeah.

02:28:34.000 Remember Max Headroom?

02:28:36.000 Had a little career doing that for a while.

02:28:38.000 Dude, they made a movie off his face.

02:28:40.000 You've got mail.

02:28:41.000 You've got mail.

02:28:42.000 Do you remember when the dude would do something like kill somebody or something and you could go to his MySpace page?

02:28:48.000 Exactly my point about the like that's what like that Virginia Tech shit did for fuck because it was all college and all they talked about I remember on the news was like the guy wrote his whole like this whole thing on his Facebook page and Facebook page and the logo was up and that's when it went big man I'm telling you.

02:29:02.000 And what if you're right?

02:29:03.000 Makes sense.

02:29:04.000 Well, I mean, it certainly helped.

02:29:06.000 It certainly made people.

02:29:07.000 But I think Facebook offered what MySpace was already offering.

02:29:10.000 Just they did it way better.

02:29:11.000 They made it way less clunky.

02:29:13.000 It's just like they said on the thing, too.

02:29:15.000 It's way more exclusive.

02:29:16.000 Yeah, well, there's no glitter tags.

02:29:17.000 At the time, you know, only 5,000.

02:29:20.000 It had gotten out of control on MySpace tour.

02:29:22.000 It was like, I have 400,000 friends.

02:29:25.000 Like, not even famous people.

02:29:26.000 You know what I mean?

02:29:27.000 Like, regular people going out there on these trolls for more friends.

02:29:31.000 Yeah.

02:29:31.000 It's like...

02:29:32.000 I don't care.

02:29:33.000 I don't even look at my Facebook, really.

02:29:35.000 I'll be honest.

02:29:36.000 I started using my Facebook.

02:29:37.000 My fan page.

02:29:38.000 I post my shows on it.

02:29:40.000 I look at it, but I don't get into a lot of exchanges with people.

02:29:45.000 Like Dana's philosophy, like I was talking, he's like, man, you want to be big on the Twitter, just go at it with some of these fuckers.

02:29:50.000 I'm like, man, I ain't got the energy for that shit.

02:29:52.000 Somebody write some dumb shit to me, it's just like easy.

02:29:54.000 Let me go to your page right here.

02:29:56.000 Yeah.

02:29:56.000 Oh, block you.

02:29:57.000 Bye.

02:29:57.000 Yeah.

02:29:58.000 I don't need that in my life, man.

02:29:59.000 I write blocked and retweet them.

02:30:03.000 I retweet them and write blocked.

02:30:05.000 It's got to be funny for me to retweet it.

02:30:07.000 If it's just like stupidity, I'm not going to retweet it.

02:30:09.000 If it's funny and it's bad, I don't care if it's bad about me.

02:30:11.000 If it's funny, I'll go.

02:30:12.000 Okay, here you go.

02:30:13.000 I will do it because I don't think people realize how stupid what they're writing sounds.

02:30:17.000 Yeah, but now they're just going to do it.

02:30:18.000 Until other people respond to it.

02:30:19.000 But then they just do it just to get you.

02:30:20.000 I bet you're wrong.

02:30:21.000 I bet you're wrong.

02:30:22.000 I bet what happens is, first of all, I block them after I retweet them.

02:30:25.000 And then second of all, when you get the negativity back thrown at you by all these people who think you're an asshole for saying something stupid, Then you realize what it's like.

02:30:35.000 And you're like, what the fuck am I doing causing problems in my life for no reason?

02:30:38.000 See, I did that to the Sony people, and I felt bad because some people were like, why isn't his record online, dickbags?

02:30:44.000 Yeah, bitch.

02:30:46.000 Hey, bitch!

02:30:47.000 Hey, you fuckers!

02:30:48.000 It's like, whoa, whoa, guys, I'm just trying to get the record up.

02:30:51.000 Yeah, you gotta give them very specific instructions on how to attack.

02:30:55.000 You can't just let them go loked out.

02:30:56.000 No, I kind of called them douchebags, and I was like, call these assholes and tell these douchebags to put my record out.

02:31:02.000 Ah, well.

02:31:03.000 No, it's my fault.

02:31:04.000 Yeah, you started it, man.

02:31:07.000 They're industry people, man.

02:31:09.000 If you're in the music industry, in my opinion, And this goes for anybody working for me that falls under this category, gets the same description.

02:31:18.000 If you're in the music industry and you don't make music, produce music, record music, or somehow put your hands on music, you're a leech and a parasite of cat proportions.

02:31:42.000 Has it always been like that, though?

02:31:44.000 It's set up.

02:31:45.000 The game is set up.

02:31:46.000 The game is set up.

02:31:48.000 And not only are you a parasite, but if you're in the music business and you don't make music, then you're living off another organism.

02:31:57.000 So I'm not being even a dick when I call you a parasite.

02:32:00.000 But I'm saying what makes you the worst kind of parasite is you're the only parasite that's figured out how to eat before the host organism.

02:32:11.000 You dig?

02:32:11.000 Yeah, I see what you're saying.

02:32:12.000 Like, they all are getting their monies.

02:32:14.000 The complete disproportionate amount of wealth.

02:32:16.000 And then by the time it gets to the person who generated all the monies, in most cases, it's nothing.

02:32:22.000 That's why you see some of these sad stories of cats that should have it all and don't.

02:32:27.000 Because by the time it got to them, nobody helped them, first of all.

02:32:31.000 If you're young and somebody hands you a ton of money, I'm surprised.

02:32:34.000 I'm alive, the amount of money they handed me when I was young.

02:32:37.000 How does it work without collusion that they keep the rates so high amongst people like that?

02:32:44.000 I don't know.

02:32:45.000 It's just because the only excuse you get is that's how it's always been done.

02:32:50.000 Now, I don't buy in.

02:32:52.000 I'm telling you, I've been doing it long enough where I do it the way I want to do it.

02:32:55.000 But what were the options when you first started?

02:32:57.000 There was no other options.

02:32:59.000 You started before the internet.

02:33:00.000 What was it like when you had...

02:33:02.000 Well, we also used to sell records.

02:33:04.000 You sell your own records.

02:33:05.000 No, no, no.

02:33:05.000 I'm just saying in general, you moved a lot of units before the internet.

02:33:08.000 You know what I mean?

02:33:09.000 If you had any kind of...

02:33:10.000 Even if it was just so lazy and playing cat videos over there.

02:33:14.000 So there was more money, period.

02:33:16.000 Yeah, well, I mean, it's just like, you know...

02:33:19.000 If you wanted some music, you had to buy it.

02:33:21.000 And bootlegging was like, you know, a guy on the block buys the record and two of his friends gets to cassette tape it from him.

02:33:27.000 You know what I mean?

02:33:28.000 Now it's like a guy on the block buys the download and goes on some site and 5,000 people Get a copy of it.

02:33:35.000 You know what I mean?

02:33:37.000 Well, even distribution is moving to a digital model, so it's almost like you don't need that anymore with things like iTunes and stores.

02:33:43.000 I still love a record in my hands, though.

02:33:44.000 I like to have a CD in my hands and unfold it and look at it, and that's just me.

02:33:48.000 That's the generation I come from.

02:33:49.000 Oh, yeah.

02:33:50.000 Listen, I remember when we went to CDs.

02:33:52.000 I missed albums.

02:33:53.000 I used to love album artwork.

02:33:54.000 The artwork was huge.

02:33:55.000 That was a big part of the record.

02:33:56.000 There used to be a Grammy category, and I don't think it is anymore.

02:33:59.000 It used to be Best Album Cover.

02:34:01.000 Yeah, yeah.

02:34:02.000 They don't even do that anymore.

02:34:03.000 Yeah, I remember Cheech and Chong's Big Bamboo?

02:34:05.000 He would open it up.

02:34:06.000 It was like a giant rolling paper.

02:34:08.000 It was fucking tremendous.

02:34:09.000 B-Real actually rolled a joint comparable to the size of that paper once.

02:34:13.000 I believe it.

02:34:14.000 Yeah.

02:34:15.000 I think he's still got the roach, which is like this long.

02:34:19.000 And that fat in a frame thing at his house.

02:34:22.000 That's hilarious.

02:34:24.000 Yeah, Big Bamboo was a classic.

02:34:25.000 And the album cover itself was part of the whole experience.

02:34:29.000 What do you do about that?

02:34:30.000 They didn't have music videos though.

02:34:32.000 Or rarely.

02:34:34.000 You rarely saw anything visual put to the music.

02:34:38.000 The music was like a completely audio experience.

02:34:42.000 Internet killed the video star.

02:34:44.000 Did it though?

02:34:45.000 Because it kind of expanded things too, man.

02:34:47.000 It made like an opportunity to like this.

02:34:49.000 One of the coolest things about this gig is being able to have guys like you and we have this band, Honey Honey, came in and played.

02:34:57.000 It's the coolest thing ever to be like, have a three-person concert.

02:35:01.000 Yeah.

02:35:01.000 You know?

02:35:02.000 It's fun.

02:35:02.000 I was like, I gotta bring the guitar.

02:35:06.000 So this is the internet, though.

02:35:07.000 This is the same thing that killed it.

02:35:09.000 This is the same thing that's spreading.

02:35:09.000 Hey, man, I make a lot of my bread off of, you know, my fans are loyal cats.

02:35:14.000 They buy my records.

02:35:15.000 They buy my downloads.

02:35:16.000 I mean, I keep a steady stream.

02:35:18.000 You know, I'm not a hater, but at the same time.

02:35:21.000 You realize it's just changing.

02:35:23.000 It's just changing and things are getting weird.

02:35:24.000 Like I said earlier.

02:35:25.000 No, but it's not that it's changing.

02:35:27.000 Here's the thing.

02:35:27.000 It's like...

02:35:31.000 Before the internet, I guarantee you, there's no record I would have ever made that wouldn't have moved at least a couple hundred thousand units.

02:35:39.000 Now, on this last record, I think I've moved about 50,000.

02:35:43.000 That's completely independent.

02:35:45.000 It's good money.

02:35:46.000 I'm not tripping.

02:35:48.000 But what I'm saying is, you're not going to tell me that those same other 150,000, 200,000 people ain't checking for me.

02:35:54.000 Right.

02:35:55.000 They're getting the record.

02:35:56.000 Yeah.

02:35:56.000 You know what I mean?

02:35:57.000 I figure for every one you sell, four or five people are just taking it.

02:36:01.000 So you're selling it on your own?

02:36:02.000 And that's the problem.

02:36:03.000 You're selling it on your own, like out of your own websites?

02:36:05.000 Right.

02:36:05.000 No, I mean, I have a distributor with EMI Records, but I own my own masters.

02:36:11.000 I own my entire label.

02:36:13.000 I mean, they just help me distribute my record.

02:36:15.000 So when you say they help you distribute it, that means...

02:36:17.000 The physical record.

02:36:18.000 Otherwise, like iTunes and all that, you don't even need a distributor anymore.

02:36:22.000 You just go to them.

02:36:23.000 It's available through them.

02:36:25.000 So when you say 50,000, you mean 50,000 people bought an actual CD? Albums, yeah.

02:36:29.000 Actual album.

02:36:31.000 But then a lot of people, I don't even know the numbers on people that just come and buy individual or two or three songs off the record.

02:36:38.000 So that confuses numbers too.

02:36:40.000 That's kind of cool that you could do that.

02:36:42.000 I'm not complaining at all.

02:36:43.000 I don't want anybody to get it twisted.

02:36:44.000 I live a real good life.

02:36:46.000 Like I said, I'd like to meet that hedge fund super fan that wants to help me be super rich.

02:36:51.000 You say that.

02:36:52.000 He's going to take you to the place where he's been cloning babies.

02:36:54.000 I'll show you what's up.

02:36:55.000 You're going to have to keep secrets.

02:36:57.000 I'm cool with that, man.

02:36:58.000 You cool with that?

02:36:59.000 Maybe.

02:37:02.000 Depends on what they do to the babies once they clone them, I guess.

02:37:05.000 Yeah.

02:37:06.000 You know, if they're just cloning babies, they're going to good homes.

02:37:09.000 I mean, hey.

02:37:13.000 Everlast, you know, mansion in the East Hamptons.

02:37:15.000 Where the fuck did you get this place, man?

02:37:18.000 I can't tell you.

02:37:19.000 There's a little investment that I got involved in.

02:37:22.000 There's something crazy about the people that made billions off the internet in the beginning.

02:37:26.000 You know, when the internet dot-com boom was taken off, people sold websites for crazy amounts of money.

02:37:32.000 Mark Cuban?

02:37:33.000 Yeah, he's a billionaire from that, yeah.

02:37:36.000 Yeah.

02:37:37.000 He's managed to stick around, though.

02:37:38.000 He's smart, dude.

02:37:39.000 He's a very nice guy, too.

02:37:41.000 Very normal guy.

02:37:41.000 Right down-to-earth guy.

02:37:43.000 Remember, he was involved, I think, in some fight organization.

02:37:48.000 I think maybe he was involved in Affliction in some way, too.

02:37:51.000 And he had HDNet.

02:37:53.000 Yeah.

02:37:53.000 They changed the name of that recently.

02:37:55.000 Yeah, it's AXS TV. They're the best...

02:37:58.000 Is it still his, though?

02:37:59.000 It's partly his, I think, and Brian Seacrest is involved, too.

02:38:02.000 Yeah, I did a show.

02:38:02.000 I recorded a show for that channel.

02:38:05.000 For HDNet?

02:38:05.000 Like a live show, yeah.

02:38:06.000 They've been showing it a lot, too.

02:38:07.000 Those are great.

02:38:08.000 Yeah, I don't know why they had to change the name.

02:38:11.000 I thought HDNet was a great name.

02:38:13.000 And they're big on the fights, man.

02:38:14.000 They have the MMA Weekly and all that stuff with Boss.

02:38:16.000 I love that show, man.

02:38:17.000 Yeah, that's what I was going to say.

02:38:18.000 They're the best.

02:38:19.000 As far as one channel that covers all sorts of different fighting sports, they have K1 kickboxing.

02:38:24.000 They'll be telling you about the smallest shows in little towns, too.

02:38:27.000 You'll be like, really?

02:38:28.000 They're doing MMA? Oh yeah, they'll put on, they go to like, you know, all these different small organizations that very few people have ever heard of, and they'll put on those fights, and they'll put on all the best kickboxing too.

02:38:40.000 It's real hard to get good kickboxing in America.

02:38:42.000 It's only that AXS TV. Nobody else even shows it.

02:38:46.000 You can't see like the high-level Muay Thai and high-level kickboxing, like K1 style.

02:38:51.000 It's only them.

02:38:52.000 They're the only ones providing it.

02:38:53.000 Yeah, they always show the dream shows and all that.

02:38:55.000 That is the one thing when I always tell people, if there's one untapped market in the sports entertainment world, it's high-level kickboxing.

02:39:03.000 Somebody has never capitalized on that.

02:39:05.000 While boxers are making fucking millions of dollars, MMA fighters are making millions of dollars, these kickboxers are still languishing.

02:39:13.000 And these motherfuckers are so exciting.

02:39:16.000 Like real high-level Muay Thai kickboxing.

02:39:19.000 It has not been exposed to the masses.

02:39:22.000 People don't realize how goddamn exciting it is.

02:39:24.000 Dudes kicking each other in the fucking legs and the head and flying elbows and knees and shit.

02:39:29.000 That is a crazy exciting sport.

02:39:32.000 Muay Thai is really exciting.

02:39:34.000 It just hasn't been exposed to America correctly.

02:39:37.000 It's a huge money maker just waiting to happen of UFC proportions.

02:39:42.000 If somebody, some rich dude, some investment type character had the balls to put together some really high level kickboxing and start showing that shit in America, they would make mad loot.

02:39:53.000 Because one of the things that everybody loves about the UFC is that anything can happen, but the other thing they love is knockouts.

02:39:58.000 People fucking love knockouts.

02:40:00.000 They love submissions, but when it comes to what they would choose, they'd choose to rather see somebody get kicked in the face.

02:40:06.000 Yeah, it's gladiators.

02:40:07.000 Yeah, there's something crazy about it.

02:40:09.000 Like the Donald Cerrone fight last weekend.

02:40:13.000 Head kicks Gallard, and then as he's wobbling, comes in with the fucking death blow and KOs him on the way down.

02:40:19.000 I mean, that's what people want to see.

02:40:21.000 That was good.

02:40:22.000 Tremendous, tremendous.

02:40:24.000 That's not available in kickboxing, unfortunately.

02:40:26.000 You can't hit a dude in the face while he's going down.

02:40:28.000 You know, the referee will separate you.

02:40:30.000 You get a standing A count.

02:40:31.000 Which is actually kind of the worst way to fight.

02:40:34.000 It's actually more dangerous to be allowed to recover.

02:40:37.000 It's better for the referee to come over and save you, have to do punches you one or two more times, than you to sort of get your wits back and then get properly K the fuck owed.

02:40:46.000 But in K1 kickboxing and in Muay Thai, that's all the stand-up fighting.

02:40:50.000 It's all kicking and punching.

02:40:52.000 It's all what's probably the most important shit or the most exciting shit to watch.

02:40:57.000 No one's ever really capitalized on it.

02:40:58.000 It's weird.

02:41:00.000 Yeah.

02:41:01.000 You don't give a fuck.

02:41:02.000 I do.

02:41:03.000 I love kickboxing, man.

02:41:04.000 Have you ever seen it live?

02:41:05.000 I'm still feeling the effects from earlier, dog.

02:41:07.000 I've been stuck on stupid for a while, dog.

02:41:10.000 I was actually sitting here reflecting on the whole Swami thing and I'm like, man, I'm just going to get it today over this Swami thing.

02:41:16.000 I know it.

02:41:17.000 I know people are going to be like, what kind of retarded shit is that?

02:41:20.000 It's cutting their tongue and massaging their brain.

02:41:22.000 What, man?

02:41:22.000 I hope somebody proves me right is all.

02:41:25.000 Otherwise, I'm like, man, that was a good hallucination.

02:41:28.000 It might be deep in page five of Google.

02:41:32.000 It's a good hallucination of an explanation, though, man.

02:41:36.000 That's a good lyric.

02:41:37.000 A good hallucination of an explanation.

02:41:40.000 Yeah, maybe you could just combine them in your head in some strange way.

02:41:43.000 I'm sure something like that happens.

02:41:45.000 If it's not coming up on Google, we all know how reliable the internet is, dude.

02:41:49.000 Everything's on there.

02:41:50.000 Part of the beauty of podcasting is that people get to see you talk a little shit and not be correct.

02:41:55.000 It's not edited.

02:41:57.000 Unlike you, I don't have a war room laptop in front of me.

02:42:04.000 Yeah, this is a manly laptop.

02:42:06.000 Look at that.

02:42:07.000 Alien eyes and shit.

02:42:08.000 Yo, man, I thought it was a briefcase.

02:42:11.000 It runs on coal.

02:42:14.000 That thing has a nuclear reactor in the center of it.

02:42:16.000 Yeah, we started using these because they support MMA fighters.

02:42:19.000 It runs on the blood of the innocent.

02:42:22.000 It's slowly, slowly tapping into your soul.

02:42:25.000 It's been staring at me for a while, dude.

02:42:27.000 It's starting to creep me out.

02:42:28.000 It's dope, isn't it?

02:42:29.000 The eyeballs are starting to creep me out.

02:42:30.000 It's a ladybug.

02:42:31.000 It's us in the future is what it is, man.

02:42:33.000 That's what the alien is.

02:42:34.000 We know that's the future.

02:42:35.000 That's inevitable.

02:42:36.000 That's what we're going to look like.

02:42:37.000 Really?

02:42:38.000 If we used to look like monkeys and this is what we look like now, that's next.

02:42:40.000 No doubt about it.

02:42:41.000 The atmosphere is going to erode, so we're going to have big black eyes like permanent sunglasses.

02:42:45.000 That's what I'm thinking.

02:42:47.000 Permanent sunglasses because we're going to deal with a hostile environment.

02:42:49.000 You're not going to really talk anymore, so you have a giant head with a little tiny slit of a mouth.

02:42:53.000 You're probably going to get all your nutrients through some cream you rub on you or something.

02:42:57.000 He's probably not even going to have to eat anymore.

02:42:59.000 They're going to invent orgasm pills so your dick's going to shrink away to nothing.

02:43:02.000 So you'd be like that man in a suit.

02:43:04.000 Skinny thing.

02:43:05.000 You don't need your muscles because you're controlling the universe with your brain.

02:43:08.000 You're speaking telekinetically so you don't have a language anymore outside of actual information.

02:43:14.000 My job's obsolete then.

02:43:17.000 I'm going to mentally telepathically sing to you.

02:43:21.000 Well, that's why I think the idea of simulation theory is actually plausible.

02:43:27.000 That simulation theory is like real, legit scientists have offered up the possibility that if someday someone created an artificial reality, someday someone created something that was controlled, it was something generated by a computer, but it was undetectable from reality.

02:43:47.000 It seemed real.

02:43:49.000 Is it possible that they could get to that level someday?

02:43:52.000 And the reality is yes.

02:43:53.000 Yes, it is possible.

02:43:54.000 If the advent of technology and technological innovation keeps moving in the same direction, everything gets better.

02:44:00.000 So if you look from now to a thousand years from now or a thousand years ago, you look at what we're capable of now and extrapolate what a thousand years from now we're going to be capable of, Artificial reality is a given.

02:44:10.000 It's going to be easy.

02:44:11.000 So the idea is, are we already there?

02:44:13.000 Are we already in that artificial reality?

02:44:16.000 Is it possible that these aliens, this is what we really look like, dog, but this is whack.

02:44:23.000 This is a stupid way to live.

02:44:24.000 Nobody's getting their dick sucked.

02:44:26.000 No one's car makes some cool noises.

02:44:28.000 Nobody can play some badass music.

02:44:30.000 Everything is evolved and telekinetic and everything is without sin.

02:44:37.000 But there's no whiskey.

02:44:39.000 There's no shit talking.

02:44:40.000 No one farts on you.

02:44:42.000 Just don't unplug me.

02:44:43.000 I'm cool.

02:44:45.000 Maybe this is why our life is so crazy.

02:44:49.000 Maybe this is why life is so chaotic and ridiculous.

02:44:52.000 And it would seem like the type of being with the brain to build something like New York City would have everything else completely wrapped up too.

02:45:01.000 I mean it takes an amazing amount of innovation, thinking, computation, And construction and just amazing amount of stick-to-itiveness to build something like a New York City.

02:45:14.000 You would think an organism that can do that, well, they got everything wired.

02:45:18.000 This whole thing is wired.

02:45:19.000 They're from the future.

02:45:21.000 They've figured out the whole thing.

02:45:23.000 Look what they can do.

02:45:24.000 They can do impossible technical tasks.

02:45:27.000 Surely, socially, they would have it all together.

02:45:30.000 Surely they wouldn't be this crazy mix of hypocritical bullshit and fucking propaganda on television and nonsense.

02:45:39.000 There's no way they would be that stupid.

02:45:41.000 How would they make satellites and be that fucking stupid?

02:45:44.000 There's no way.

02:45:45.000 So the idea is that we are from an evolved time, but it's boring.

02:45:50.000 So we've come here where shit's fucking crazy.

02:45:52.000 And that's what makes it fun.

02:45:54.000 You could have me high tripping on the way home like, damn.

02:45:57.000 Well, you know, I've gotten shit about this.

02:45:59.000 That's one of those...

02:46:00.000 Yo, the whole universe could be under your fingernail, bro.

02:46:03.000 It's one pubic hair.

02:46:04.000 The real problem is it's starting to be substantiated with science.

02:46:07.000 When they're doing, you know, these string theories guys and these quantum physicist guys, where they're doing...

02:46:15.000 Technical computations, when they're trying to figure out the nature of the actual matter itself, one of the things they're finding is they're finding that there's mathematical programs to it all.

02:46:28.000 Things in this life follow mathematical computations.

02:46:33.000 They follow like an algorithm.

02:46:34.000 The Fibonacci sequence is like the way a person's face looks, the way a tree grows branches, the way a sunflower seed.

02:46:41.000 It's all like mathematics, inescapable mathematics.

02:46:44.000 And then they're finding more code in quantum theory.

02:46:50.000 They're finding the smaller they're getting as far as the smaller things they're looking at in the universe, they're finding mathematical algorithms that you could clearly track.

02:47:01.000 Like, that they've measured from the 1940s.

02:47:04.000 Like, they know what they are.

02:47:05.000 Like, they know this actual program.

02:47:07.000 So it's not outside the realm of possibility that this might be an awesome simulation.

02:47:16.000 That might be why it's so much fun.

02:47:18.000 Maybe.

02:47:18.000 Is this stuff that happens and you, like, get really deep into in the isolation tape?

02:47:23.000 Yeah, that's the problem.

02:47:25.000 The isolation tank is only about what is real, because nothing's real once you get in there.

02:47:29.000 Once you get in there, have you done it?

02:47:31.000 I've experimented similarly, but not full of, like nighttime, just in my pool with my ears plugged and my eyes covered, floating.

02:47:39.000 That's all groovy and everything, but you need a real one.

02:47:42.000 You need one.

02:47:44.000 Everybody needs one.

02:47:45.000 It's one of the biggest injustices, that people that are interested in thinking and creating don't have one of these things.

02:47:51.000 Because if you're in the simulated reality, you're probably already laying in some sort of liquid, so you're bringing yourself back almost to your essence if you're doing that.

02:48:01.000 Or nothing is real and your consciousness has been downloaded into some sort of a...

02:48:06.000 Gigantic computer.

02:48:07.000 Hmm.

02:48:08.000 That one's...

02:48:09.000 There's got to be some kind of organic matter.

02:48:11.000 You think so?

02:48:12.000 Yeah.

02:48:12.000 What if technology is organic?

02:48:16.000 What if we just...

02:48:17.000 We think of it as inorganic because we create it.

02:48:19.000 Because we create a phone.

02:48:20.000 But what if you look at it?

02:48:21.000 What if it's an actual life form that's independent of us, but we have this weird symbiotic relationship with it where where are the method that it's evolving through?

02:48:29.000 And it's going from being a fucking toaster...

02:48:32.000 Dude, do you have a Star Trek shirt on or something?

02:48:34.000 Yes.

02:48:34.000 You're going to start talking about the Borg or something in a minute.

02:48:38.000 Well, if you really stop and think about it, we're connected to electricity.

02:48:42.000 We talked about that earlier.

02:48:43.000 We are electricity.

02:48:45.000 But we panic if the power goes out.

02:48:46.000 I panic if I don't have my phone.

02:48:48.000 I panic if my car doesn't work.

02:48:49.000 You're like, shit.

02:48:50.000 We are already connected to certain aspects of technology.

02:48:53.000 I leave the house without my phone.

02:48:55.000 I feel pretty fucking naked.

02:48:56.000 I would rather walk out of the house with no shirt on than I would with no phone.

02:48:59.000 I feel like less of a freak.

02:49:02.000 Wow.

02:49:03.000 My phone is more important to me than clothes.

02:49:06.000 I need to be able to talk to people.

02:49:08.000 That's strange.

02:49:09.000 It's not strange.

02:49:10.000 If I'm out there in the wild, what if my fucking car breaks down?

02:49:13.000 What, am I going to have to walk to a tow truck?

02:49:14.000 Where is the tow truck?

02:49:15.000 In what direction?

02:49:16.000 Do I know?

02:49:16.000 Do I walk around naked and ask people?

02:49:18.000 Come on, man.

02:49:18.000 I need that fucking phone.

02:49:20.000 Actually, in that scenario, I wouldn't have been naked.

02:49:22.000 Yeah.

02:49:23.000 That doesn't make any sense.

02:49:28.000 This would be a good time for a new song, man.

02:49:30.000 By the way, five minutes.

02:49:31.000 Okay.

02:49:32.000 You guys got time limits, huh?

02:49:34.000 Well, at three hours, we turn into a pumpkin.

02:49:36.000 Yeah.

02:49:37.000 It's bad for iTunes.

02:49:38.000 Something happens.

02:49:40.000 I have one more for you.

02:49:42.000 Okay.

02:49:45.000 Dude, this one's called Long Time.

02:49:46.000 She was a hot-blooded woman Never saw her coming.

02:50:01.000 She hid him from the side that's blind.

02:50:03.000 She never gave a warning.

02:50:05.000 He woke up in the morning.

02:50:07.000 Laying there next to his bride.

02:50:09.000 He got a little crazy when she had a little baby.

02:50:12.000 Cause I built him with a fatherly pride.

02:50:15.000 Just a couple years later when the love started fading.

02:50:18.000 He hurt so bad nearly died.

02:50:21.000 It's been a long time since I was faithful.

02:50:27.000 It's been a long time since I was grateful It's been a long time since I could look you in the eye It's been a long time since I was grateful She's a mother with a daughter, sitting by the water, cause it's better for her baby to breathe.

02:50:50.000 She got a man that's in prison, cause he didn't moan or listen, now he's sitting waiting on a reprieve.

02:50:56.000 She loves a little baby, but she get a little crazy, cause it's harder than she ever conceived.

02:51:02.000 She left her on her own, but she's doing it alone, cause she loves him like you wouldn't believe.

02:51:08.000 It's been a long time since I was faithful.

02:51:13.000 It's been a long time since I was grateful It's been a long time since I could look you in the eye It's been a long time since I was grateful He's a friend

02:51:43.000 and a lover.

02:51:44.000 Husband and a brother.

02:51:46.000 He's always been a pineapple son.

02:51:49.000 Gets a lot of drama when he go to see his mama, cause he curses like a son of a gun.

02:51:55.000 He's begging to his lady, let him see his baby, he swear she's the only one.

02:52:00.000 He's got a heart full of sorrow, living for tomorrow, and sorry for the damage he's done.

02:52:06.000 It's been a long time since I was faithful.

02:52:12.000 It's been a long time since I was grateful.

02:52:17.000 It's been a long time since I could look you in the eye It's been a long time since I was grateful It's been a long time since I was faithful It's been a long time since I was grateful It's been a long time since I could look you in the eye It's

02:52:47.000 been a long time since I was grateful Grateful Dude, thank you very much, man.

02:53:02.000 Anytime, man.

02:53:03.000 Thank you for coming here.

02:53:04.000 Anytime you want to come back, anytime you feel like playing some songs, please just holler at me.

02:53:10.000 That's what I did.

02:53:11.000 I'm ready.

02:53:12.000 Let's go.

02:53:12.000 Yeah, it was beautiful, man.

02:53:13.000 Beautiful.

02:53:14.000 Thank you very much, man.

02:53:15.000 Very inspirational.

02:53:17.000 Hey, when I first came on this motherfucker, man, I just quit my Twitter, or I just restarted after quitting Twitter, man.

02:53:24.000 You know what I mean?

02:53:24.000 And there's like damn near 30,000 people on it now.

02:53:28.000 So, you know, that's all love from coming, a lot of it coming from your direction, man.

02:53:31.000 Well, listen, man, that's beautiful.

02:53:33.000 And every time you're on it, man, we appreciate the fuck out of it.

02:53:36.000 We get a million positive tweets.

02:53:37.000 I'm looking at it right now.

02:53:39.000 My Twitter's blowing up.

02:53:40.000 People loved it.

02:53:40.000 They had a great fucking time, as always.

02:53:42.000 You know, OG Everlast, come shake me out.

02:53:44.000 Oh, yo, I got a bone to pick with you on your fans' behalf.

02:53:47.000 Uh-oh.

02:53:48.000 Post some motherfucking pictures on Instagram, dog.

02:53:50.000 Oh, we got one.

02:53:51.000 There's one and it's a meme, dog.

02:53:52.000 Yeah, I don't understand that.

02:53:53.000 Instagram, everybody's like really into pictures outside of like Twitter picture.

02:53:57.000 I don't get it.

02:53:58.000 I'll try to use it.

02:53:59.000 What it is, is you just set it up so when you put it on Instagram, you hit one button and it'll go right to your Twitter too.

02:54:06.000 Okay, I'll hook it up.

02:54:07.000 They're mad at you, man.

02:54:08.000 I'm sorry.

02:54:09.000 I'm sorry, everybody.

02:54:10.000 And plus, man, you know, I got like 9,000 people on there.

02:54:13.000 I got like 300 pictures.

02:54:15.000 You got one and there's like 30,000 people on there.

02:54:17.000 All right, I'll put some more.

02:54:18.000 I promise.

02:54:19.000 I promise.

02:54:19.000 All right, folks.

02:54:20.000 I did solid.

02:54:21.000 Go follow me now.

02:54:21.000 Yeah, please.

02:54:22.000 OG Everlast.

02:54:23.000 Follow him on Twitter.

02:54:24.000 And thanks to Audible.com.

02:54:26.000 Audible, our sponsor for the day, if you're interested in checking out a free trial, go to Audible.com forward slash Joe, and they give you 30 days for free.

02:54:36.000 So download a fucking load of cool-ass songs, or books, rather.

02:54:41.000 Books on audio, audiobooks, books on CD, books on, what are you, just downloads?

02:54:46.000 You can turn them into CDs if you want.

02:54:47.000 I think.

02:54:48.000 Can you?

02:54:49.000 I don't know.

02:54:49.000 Can you turn them into CDs?

02:54:50.000 Yeah, you can burn it to a CD. It's not encrypted, right?

02:54:52.000 It is encrypted, but you can burn it to a CD. You can burn it to a CD. Okay.

02:54:56.000 I believe.

02:54:57.000 I mean, I haven't done that in a while.

02:54:59.000 But I use Audible.

02:55:00.000 Yeah.

02:55:00.000 Audible, it's an awesome service, and there's so many fucking books there.

02:55:03.000 And like I said, it's awesome for traffic, much like this podcast is.

02:55:07.000 It's good for doing when you're...

02:55:09.000 What happened?

02:55:10.000 See, every time I go to Audible, it says, chat now.

02:55:13.000 You gonna chat with bitches?

02:55:14.000 Is that what it is?

02:55:15.000 Yeah.

02:55:16.000 Don't write anything stupid, man.

02:55:17.000 Hey, it's Mike!

02:55:18.000 Don't write anything stupid.

02:55:19.000 Hi, Mike!

02:55:20.000 Are you sure it's Mike?

02:55:22.000 Yeah.

02:55:23.000 You're now chatting with Mike.

02:55:24.000 Let's see if Mike's a dick.

02:55:27.000 Ever been to Olive Garden?

02:55:28.000 You know how you're gonna say it.

02:55:29.000 Ever been raped?

02:55:30.000 No, don't do it.

02:55:31.000 Don't do it.

02:55:33.000 Thanks to audible.com.

02:55:35.000 Go there, audible.com forward slash Joe, and get yourself 30 days of free trial.

02:55:40.000 It's an awesome service.

02:55:41.000 Great books, and like I said, it's the best for traveling.

02:55:44.000 It really makes it interesting.

02:55:45.000 It makes me not want to park my car.

02:55:47.000 Thanks to onnit.com, O-N-N-I-T, makers of Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech Sport, Shroom Tech Immune, New Mood.

02:55:54.000 What's New Mood, bitches?

02:55:56.000 Serotonin Boasting?

02:55:58.000 Boasting?

02:55:58.000 Serotonin Boasting?

02:56:00.000 It's 5-HTP and L-tryptophan.

02:56:02.000 It boosts your serotonin levels.

02:56:03.000 It actually makes you feel better.

02:56:04.000 It's called New Mood.

02:56:05.000 Check it out.

02:56:06.000 Go to Onyx.com.

02:56:07.000 That shit had me tripping balls, man.

02:56:08.000 That shit, right?

02:56:09.000 Get yourself some kettlebells.

02:56:11.000 Get yourself some battle ropes.

02:56:13.000 Become fucking savage.

02:56:14.000 The savage that you really want to be deep inside your little caveman body.

02:56:19.000 Use the code name ROGAN and save 10% off supplements.

02:56:21.000 And I will see you guys later tonight.

02:56:24.000 One more podcast tonight.

02:56:25.000 Late night.

02:56:26.000 10pm on the West Coast with Duncan Trussell.

02:56:28.000 Look at you doing it big.

02:56:29.000 I'm doing it big.

02:56:30.000 I love you dirty bitches.

02:56:31.000 We're off next week though.

02:56:32.000 Next week I'm on vacation.

02:56:34.000 So go fuck yourself.

02:56:35.000 Okay?

02:56:35.000 See you soon.

02:56:36.000 Bye.

02:56:37.000 Big kiss.

02:56:37.000 Love you guys.

The Joe Rogan Experience - August 16, 2012

Joe Rogan Experience #254 - Everlast

Episode Stats

Length

Words per Minute

Word Count

Sentence Count

Misogynist Sentences

Summary

Transcript