Joe Rogan talks about pickles and why they re the best snack in the whole wide world. Joe Rogan Experience is not sponsored by Grillo's Pickles, they re not a sponsor, they're just nice guys who are willing to sell you a bag of pickles for free. Joe also talks about how he doesn t drink milk in front of his kids and why he likes it that way. Also, he talks about why he hates cold in the winter and how much he hates it in the summer. And why he doesn't like it when his kids have tea parties in the morning because they don t drink it. Joe also explains why he s not a fan of the idea of a fake tea party and why it s better than a regular party. Finally, Joe talks about a new invention he s working on and how he s going to make it work with his kids. This episode is sponsored by E-Streamer. E-streamer is not the best product, but it s free as shit and it s just as good as tricasters, so why not use it? You ll get a lot of free stuff now that you can stream on the internet for free, too. If you like what you re listening to this podcast, you ll love it! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. We ll be posting polls and questions on the next episode of the podcast, too! Subscribe to our new podcast, Podchaser. Subscribe on Apple Podcasts and other podcasting on Podchats and other social media platforms! Send your voice messages to sws@podchats.co/joeroganservices.co and we ll send them to josephcronell@joejoseph.co.ee and they ll be featured on the podchats on the podcast. Thanks for listening to the pod. Thank you so much for your support and support the pod and your support is so much love, bye bye! Love ya'll, bye! bye bye bye. bye bye Bye bye. Bye bye bye, bye Bye Bye Bye bye! - bye bye - bye. - bye Bye - bye - Bye bye - Joe and bye - Rory and bye Bye, bye - MURPHY MAGGOTTERY. - Rory & JOSEPH MURCHES
00:02:09.000I see it in front of the TV. I snack the fuck out on these things and I don't feel bad.
00:02:15.000I'll down a whole bag of popcorn, kettle corn, or I'll fuck up a whole bag of cheesy popcorn, popcorn with cheese on it, or potato chips with vinegar and salt.
00:02:28.000I'll fuck up a whole bag and then I'll feel like a loser.
00:02:31.000And I'll wait an hour and a half and I'll lift weights.
00:04:35.000I don't want to speak out of school because I haven't read their literature, but essentially what it is is they run on the Sprint network, they rent the Sprint network, but...
00:04:44.000They take a different risk than Sprint does.
00:04:46.000They rent the service and they say, listen, we'll charge you by what you use.
00:06:34.000What they're trying to do is sell you the best shit possible for the lowest price point and make it as clean as possible so that no one feels ripped off.
00:06:43.000When you buy 30 pills, there is a 100% money back guarantee.
00:06:46.000You don't even have to return the product.
00:06:57.000Everybody's body has a different reaction to Caffeine and alcohol and cigarettes and vitamins and I don't know yeah weed for sure I don't know how your body reacts to things but what I do know is that all of the nutrients inside of alpha brain have been proven to have a positive effect on human cognitive function and there are studies behind that and we're actually putting together our own study it's about to go live we've established a protocol and And it will be a double-blind placebo
00:07:27.000study at a legitimate university to show everyone that there is a noticeable, measurable benefit in taking nutrients.
00:09:13.000And a lot of scientists now are working on cultivating the bacteria in your body so that you have only good bacteria or you manage it accordingly.
00:09:21.000And that's the future in some circles of how you're going to be even healthier in the future.
00:09:26.000What we're trying to provide on it is all things that have a positive effect on the human body.
00:09:33.000All of our supplements, like AlphaBrain, ShroomTech is another one.
00:09:36.000ShroomTech is based on the cordyceps mushroom, which has been shown to have a positive effect on your ability to assimilate oxygen.
00:09:44.000And this was actually discovered by high-altitude herders.
00:09:47.000They found that their animals were eating these mushrooms and they were having more energy.
00:12:04.000So you don't have to worry about that with Hemp Force, which is so crazy.
00:12:07.000We have to buy this shit in another country.
00:12:09.000We would, Onnit would be willing to grow it in America, hire American farmers to grow it, and give people jobs and help the American economy.
00:12:19.000But no, this cunting government with its horrible corruption, And deep-rooted ties to pharmaceutical companies literally won't even let anything close to marijuana in.
00:12:29.000And if you want to read how closely tied they are to the pharmaceutical companies, pick up a book called The China Study by T. Colin Campbell, PhD, who was on the inside of all this stuff and was on the National Board of Sciences.
00:12:43.000And he's a nutritional scientist out of Cornell University.
00:12:46.000It is a fascinating book and expose on how industry has hijacked how you eat, why the school lunch program, 28 million counting children, eat what the dairy industry, the meat industry, and the sugar lobby wants them to eat because it's big business, and why children are suffering from diabetes and a host of other chronic illnesses.
00:13:14.000This is a guy on the inside who knows all the scientists and the academics who can take money from the same corporation they're doing research for.
00:13:23.000The point is, we're on a fucking pirate ship, so that's why Hemp Force is expensive.
00:15:36.000Push a chair to the side and you've got a gym in your hotel room.
00:15:40.000It takes 15 minutes to kill yourself, actually.
00:15:41.000So we're going to make DVDs and have them also for sale at Onnit.
00:15:46.000So Steve Maxwell's in, which I'm very excited about because I wanted to make sure that if I'm doing a video, I don't want to fuck anybody's backup.
00:15:53.000I want to fucking do everything wrong, my monkey ass, and then have you do it.
00:16:12.000Well, this is the podcast about to start now.
00:16:14.000Use the code name ROGAN. Get 10% off any and all supplements at Onnit.com, including the hemp force and the kettlebells and the battle ropes, however.
00:16:22.000We're selling those bitches as cheap as we can.
00:16:24.000Battle ropes are the cheapest you can find on the internet.
00:16:26.000And battle ropes are another awesome caveman-style manly motherfucking workout.
00:20:55.000I don't know if this ever happens to you, but I'll get just a winkling of an idea, and I just start following it on stage, and sometimes it just starts forming itself.
00:21:03.000Other times you're like, where am I going with this?
00:21:25.000Thanks to everybody at Schaumburg and thanks to Joe Rogan because a lot of people came out because they listened to this and it was amazing, man.
00:22:40.000But these weak-ass guineas are letting these fucking dumb broads go on TV and spout all their nonsense, basically indicting them on an entire life of crime.
00:22:48.000You know what you're getting into when you're entering this life.
00:22:59.000If you are in a criminal empire, okay, if you're involved in something like that, you can't go on a reality show and just make light of it.
00:23:05.000Like, it's no big deal to be a fucking mob wife.
00:23:07.000Because I guarantee you there's some shit in that guy's past that he's denied.
00:24:48.000He said about Gotti, he said, I have defended some very formidable men, and that is the one guy who really lived what he spoke, what he said.
00:27:00.000And as he was banging on the table, she put a mic under the table.
00:27:05.000And that is how she took one for the team, went in there, fucked this guy, took some cock, bang, put it under there, and brought the whole thing down.
00:27:58.000I recommended an Allman Brothers song the other day, and you go to the song now, and for the first three pages, it just says, like, powerful Joe Rogan, Olive Garden, Butthole.
00:28:18.000What do you think is the, well, I mean, your podcast has become a bit of a phenomenon, and, you know, as long as I've known you, the one thing I know about you is that you've never, ever lied.
00:28:28.000You're just an authentic dude, and you, for better or for worse, for better or for worse, you were always the guy, and when you were young, it was so inconvenient, because if you didn't like somebody in that circle, you'd be like, I don't fucking like you.
00:29:26.000When you suffer fools like that, what you're doing is actually taking your time away from real people, people who do deserve your time, who are not imposters.
00:30:12.000And we do crazy things, like have a family with three kids that we, and with a woman we don't like, or take a job that we have to take because we've got to hold down this massive nut we create for ourselves, when what we should be doing, and actually, in Turning Pro, he talks about this a lot.
00:30:52.000A lot of people have competing notions in their own mind about money.
00:30:57.000You have all these weird things like money can't buy you happiness, it's the root of all evil, but we all want money.
00:31:04.000Within our own mind, we have these major conflicts of interest whenever you bring up the word money because it conjures up both negative and positive images in us.
00:31:16.000That's interesting to me because you and I know that if you make enough money, you can do a lot of good with it.
00:31:22.000So everybody should be trying in some way to be, it's not just about money, but trying to be the best they can be because you'll make a difference.
00:31:28.000But I think within ourselves, part of the human problem and something you have to face up as you get older is the fact that there are a lot of contradictions within your own mind because they've been given to you.
00:31:40.000You know, it's really hard sometimes to just have because you have to actually think you deserve it.
00:31:47.000And most of us are conditioned to be guilty about having too much, you know.
00:31:53.000Yeah, well, there's a lot of people in this country that feel like it's okay to be angry at you because you're successful.
00:31:59.000There's a lot of people that will say like, oh, fucking rich asshole.
00:32:03.000Much less in this country than other countries, and I'll tell you why.
00:32:05.000And one of the strengths of our country is this, and George Will has a great, he gave a great speech about this.
00:32:12.000The great thing about America is that all of us out there know, and I hope we're not losing sight of this because in some ways you can get cynical about the way this world is wired now, but the bottom line is a lot of Americans know, I may be poor today, but if I do the right thing, I might be rich tomorrow.
00:32:27.000And that sense of potential in the American character is what drives this economy.
00:33:34.000There's nothing wrong with being in shape.
00:33:36.000The only thing that's wrong with being in shape is if you're not in shape, and you see a guy's in shape, and you see a woman react to that guy in shape in a very sexually attracted way, it makes you feel uncomfortable.
00:35:16.000And I think it's important sometimes you got to change your fucking gang.
00:35:19.000Well, one of the reasons why you and I were such good friends when I met you is like, first of all, you were the closest guy to me I've ever met in my life.
00:35:31.000I was like, holy shit, here's this guy who's exactly like me.
00:38:43.000If you don't fuck your kids up, if you raise them like they're friends and you talk to them and communicate with them, they're not going to be attracted to something as stupid as the life of Kim Kardashian.
00:39:17.000But when it comes to emotions, one of the first things I do whenever I catch them doing something wrong, like they hate each other or yell at each other, I always tell them that I did the same thing.
00:42:17.000I said we are going to mark our lives by the number of times we laughed with each other and were silly and were just surprising and shocking each other.
00:43:30.000I mean, he just, he looks over in the UFC and I'm sitting like literally like six, ten chairs away and he goes, he just leaves and goes, no drama, cocksucker, no drama.
00:43:38.000And everybody's like, what the fuck is that guy saying?
00:45:21.000And when they don't want to listen anymore, when you're doing like half-filled shows and the people are barely there, you're like, well, all right.
00:48:41.000Sure, but anything that you want to get good at, you're going to have to put daily practice into and should always do it for the sake of the practice, not the result.
00:48:52.000You get just as much, like somebody said, well, I don't know, by the time I get my psychology degree, I don't know.
00:48:57.000Look, while you're trying to get your psychology degree, you're going to be meeting people you want to be around who are dynamic and interesting because they're going to be doing the same thing you're doing.
00:50:29.000Well, I grew up completely obsessed with martial arts and that mindset of the practice of martial arts, which was defining for me, which made me a human being, was the first thing I was ever really good at.
00:50:43.000That became the way I lived my whole life.
00:50:46.000Live a life like you're about to do the most dangerous thing you could ever possibly imagine, so you have to be obsessed with it to get really good at it.
00:54:04.000The first time I knew you were really funny, before I'd even seen you do stand-up, we were at the UFC. And we were sitting there, and we were on a bus.
00:54:10.000We were going back, being shuttled back to something.
00:54:13.000This was, like, back in the day when Randy Couture, like, had his first fight, literally.
00:54:18.000And I remember somebody goes, Joe, what are you going to do tonight?
00:54:20.000And you were like, I think I'm going to get in a horse stance, push my balls into my body, and read Nietzsche with a bandana around my head.
00:54:26.000I was like, yes, that's my favorite kind of humor.
00:55:13.000Isn't there some sort of a physiological benefit to not orgasming and letting your body assimilate the con?
00:55:20.000Well, the idea is that fighters, the samurai, the idea is that you can boost your testosterone and apparently the semen goes up your spine.
00:55:47.000Well, on Fight Science, John Brankus, that show, they had guys not have sex for like a week or something, and they measured their testosterone, and then they had them calm and stuff, and there was no difference.
00:55:58.000They actually have tested a difference, scientifically.
00:56:02.000Fight science is not what the fuck they're talking about.
00:57:27.000He's not like your typical, you know, oh, just like hunting.
00:57:31.000He's a guy who, it's very sacred to him.
00:57:34.000He went to a ranch once, and they put him in a tree stand, and then he said, well, at 6 a.m., the deer come around, because that's when the feeders open up.
00:57:43.000And he realized there was electronic feeders, and he's like, I can't do this.
00:59:12.000Baby-eating cocksuckers, each and every one of them.
00:59:17.000People make up anything to fucking kill something like, they eat babies, I have proof.
00:59:22.000You leave a baby alone, a coyote will fucking eat it.
00:59:24.000There's a coyote show where we kill guys called Killing Baby Killers.
00:59:28.000That would be a satisfying show if you just left a baby in a pen in the middle of a street and the coyotes just come around and you pick them off with sniper rifles.
01:01:56.000But they'd be fighting, and one time I was on a date, and Piggy and my fucking German shepherd, this working dog, this badass fucking dog, okay, that I found this kennel.
01:02:11.000It was a long line of just nothing but IPO and schutzum sport dogs.
01:02:14.000This dog was a fucking wolf, and by the way, had knockout drag out fights with my dog Piggy, who was a pure pit bull and a fighting dog.
01:02:47.000Literally, and so when they'd fight sometimes, I was on a date, this girl, beautiful girl, I remember, and all of a sudden I just hear, and I come running out, and all I think is vet bills, and they'd just gotten out of their cones.
01:02:58.000They used to walk around, they looked like Nixon and a baseball combined.
01:03:01.000They literally just looked like jowls and like stitches, Oh, because what you're saying is they'd swole up.
01:03:20.000And they were in these cones and knocking everything over.
01:03:23.000And so they get in a fight, and I was in the front yard for 20 minutes trying to break them up, because I'd choke one off, then that one would lose consciousness, and then the other one would get a hold of it, and then I'd have to choke that one off, the other one would get a hold of it.
01:03:34.00020 minutes, and my hands, and my buddy came home, Bob, my buddy came home and actually helped me break them up.
01:03:40.00020 minutes later, we're all fucked up.
01:03:42.000My hands were so, I'd been trying to fight them so badly, I was literally fighting for my life.
01:05:12.000Got a hold of the baby cow, and then, well, no, I'm sorry, let me start again.
01:05:16.000It killed one goat, then another goat, and that goat got caught up in its rope, and then started bleeding as it died, and then the cow started moving, so the dog was like, oh, baby cow!
01:06:07.000If you have a dog like that, you have to have it in a secure yard, and you have to be with it all the time, because otherwise you've got a monster.
01:06:13.000You use them to hunt boar or fight other dogs.
01:06:37.000When they hit the pigs and the pigs were running and then they would do the somersaults when they would like brain them and then the pigs would go face down into the mud and flip.
01:09:34.000Speaking of which, speaking of which, did you see the YouTube video of the bull elephant that took the Mack truck, got under it with his tusks because he was mad at the Mack truck because he fell out of it, and flipped that shit over?
01:10:17.000You can train them to do all kinds of crazy shit.
01:10:19.000Well, what's really smart about them is their memory.
01:10:21.000They can see another elephant, which all looks the same to us, but they don't see it for 10 years, and then they run into it, and they run towards each other and hug each other.
01:13:20.000You know, I was on a plane one time, and the guy started having an argument with the stewardess before we took off.
01:13:27.000All of a sudden, he's just saying, he's not being a dick, he's just saying some things like, well, I'm not trying to cause a problem here, you know, I'm going to cause a riot, whatever.
01:13:35.000And so next thing you know, marshals are on the plane.
01:14:22.000A handful of reporters from the New York Post who put out a book called Landmark that I'm reading now that really explains what the Obamacare bill does and what it means for us.
01:14:32.000Wasn't that the thing about bills, that they'll sneak shit in that has almost nothing to do with the name of the bill, just so that they can get it in, stuff they've been trying to get in before?
01:14:41.000Yes, my father said the best thing about it.
01:14:43.000My father said, Washington, he spent a lot of time on Capitol Hill, and he said, and this is a podcast, he goes, Washington is in the business of intent.
01:14:52.000What that means is that you have a bill.
01:14:54.000You want to create universal health care.
01:15:00.000What happens with a Goliath, a Goliath like the federal government, is that there are so many vested interests that find their way into that law.
01:15:12.000So if you want me to vote for it, that's fine.
01:15:15.000You've got to do something for my constituency.
01:15:17.000Which means I've got to put this clause in page 500. Nobody's going to read it anyway, don't worry about it.
01:15:21.000And before you know it, that law that passed, just like the marijuana laws, there is a cottage industry that grows up around those laws, that have a vested interest in keeping that law, no matter whether it makes sense or not.
01:15:54.000And I happen to believe it's better to keep resources out of Washington because something that big can't help but create The real problem is you can't untangle it now.
01:16:31.000Well, that's what we were talking about before the podcast when it came to our hemp force protein.
01:16:36.000We have to buy all of our hemp in Canada because the pharmaceutical companies have bribed these fucking corrupt politicians and made sure that it's illegal.
01:16:45.000The federal government, by the way, the state government voted for it.
01:16:50.000And the whole thing is supposed to be that states are allowed to make their own laws.
01:16:55.000The federal government is not supposed to interfere with things along these lines.
01:17:31.000They finally get into the most famous doctor in the world for pancreatic cancer at UCLA, whose chemo protocol extends a lot of lives, way beyond what you're supposed to do with pancreatic cancer.
01:17:44.000He said, basically, he said, why are you on this?
01:17:46.000He said, oh, I'm going to change your chemo and it's going to be a lot cheaper.
01:17:51.000He said, well, Eli Whitney put out something that cost $30,000 a year, but it was the exact same thing as the generic drug or whatever the other chemo was that was $300 a year.
01:18:03.000But Eli Whitney claimed it was better.
01:18:06.000So every doctor to this day, I'm going to just follow me, every doctor to this day prescribes the Eli Whitney drug, which is 30 times more expensive.
01:18:30.000It was worth it to Eli Whitney to pay that fine and be dishonest because people still, they're not following all the tort laws, they're not following all the cases.
01:18:40.000Doctors all over the country still prescribe the Eli Whitney drug even though it is not as good as the one they could because they don't know anybody better because they thought, because Eli Whitney hired this huge marketing campaign, they thought that's the drug to do now.
01:18:55.000The real problem is that nobody calls them on it.
01:19:16.000I think anytime you have four major players and nobody can get into your fucking industry, it's not good for capitalism, it's not capitalism, it's not a free market, and it's not good for our health, and it's not good for humanity as a whole.
01:20:12.000Prison guard unions, and they spend a lot of money from their dues that they get from their workers in order to keep drug laws the same, because that's what keeps them working.
01:20:21.000And what's bolstering the argument is not a philosophy.
01:20:28.000It's scary that that would be allowed.
01:20:30.000It's scary that that doesn't prompt some...
01:20:32.000I mean, if you were an insider trading guy and you just knew that some company was about to go under and you got rid of your stock, you could go to fucking jail for that.
01:20:41.000How come you can't go to jail for that?
01:20:44.000How come you can't go to jail because you are working to keep drug laws, which everybody has shown are ridiculous and most people believe are completely ridiculous despite the massive amount of propaganda.
01:20:58.000What you do, the way you do it, is you get yourself informed, get yourself informed, get yourself organized.
01:21:04.000And what happens is it takes a long time, but pretty soon more and more people start to say, even if I don't smoke weed, this is a ridiculous law that's put so many people in jail for a long, long time.
01:21:17.000Not only at taxpayer expense, it's ruined families and everything else.
01:21:21.000And when are we going to come to our senses and realize that this should not be illegal?
01:21:27.000And if you get enough people behind a politician, things start to change.
01:21:31.000The way you do it, though, is through information.
01:21:34.000And also, my biggest problem with government now is I don't feel like I'm represented.
01:22:04.000And the President's responsibility is always going to set the agenda, but also, at the end of the day, there are a lot of decisions where he's presented with six different options from six different interest groups, and he's got to make a decision and piss off the other five.
01:23:15.000They just decided to just, literally, every phone call that you make, if this guy's correct, and he is the guy who fucking coded this shit, if every phone call that you make, every text message you make, every email you make, goes into a database, and the government is in Utah building a gigantic structure that will literally house everything you do, say, watch online, all your internet history, all that shit will be stored.
01:23:42.000Anything they want to know about you, all they have to do is just pull that shit up.
01:23:46.000Guys, if you want to see somebody who really sat around and thought about this stuff and made the argument for why that's not good, just YouTube Milton Friedman.
01:23:54.000Before that, let's not get people confused.
01:23:57.000Let's have people just check out this story.
01:25:46.000And remember also that every totalitarian state and every state that took control and power over people used national security and domestic security and the threat of terrorism, etc., as an excuse to take away your liberty.
01:26:06.000I would think that that generation had already moved out of business.
01:26:10.000I hate to think that the generation coming up is going to go business as usual because in my mind, this generation, the generation that's of age, of adult age now, Thomas Jefferson said that the price of freedom is eternal vigilance.
01:26:36.000And part of that, what he's trying to say, I think, in a lot of ways, is that...
01:26:41.000You may have your freedom, but just know that it can be taken away from you a lot faster than you think.
01:26:47.000So you've got to be very aware of the signs.
01:29:05.000If it is, why did Ron Paul, I mean, why did he lose two states that he clearly won?
01:29:09.000Do you know that there's plenty of evidence online, and there's plenty of videos that show in Maine, and there was one other state where Ron Paul should have won, and they hit it.
01:31:14.000If you had Verizon, it wouldn't do it as easily.
01:31:17.000So it's sort of a different frequency, apparently.
01:31:19.000CDMA is an older frequency, the frequency that Verizon uses.
01:31:24.000But apparently it's different in that it's more robust, goes deeper into buildings.
01:31:30.000But more countries have GSM. My iPhone has both.
01:31:34.000So if I go on the road, it's a Verizon phone, so if I go on the road, if I'm in England, it'll work in England, because they only have GSM. They gave up on our stupid CDMA. Really?
01:32:47.000But there are a lot of people arguing and making very good arguments like the Cato Institute, this libertarian think tank, about that's why sometimes you just say, philosophically, philosophically, nobody wants people to go hungry and stuff.
01:33:00.000Philosophically, though, as government gets bigger, more and more people will start manipulating and getting their hands into the cookie jar.
01:33:48.000And if Romney wasn't so crazy with his religion and stuff, I would be like, well, he was kind of a stud businessman, but I don't even know what he stands for.
01:33:58.000He hasn't come clean with his tax returns.
01:34:09.000And he's just going to do whatever the fuck they tell him.
01:34:13.000I always tell people, if you want to know about Mitt Romney, there's a video online where he gets confronted by a guy in a wheelchair who needs medical marijuana.
01:34:20.000And Mitt Romney shrugs this guy off like he doesn't exist.
01:34:27.000But I will say that in Massachusetts, the guy actually spent a lot of time on the other side of the aisle and got a lot of shit done, including universal health care and balancing the budget.
01:34:45.000On a federal level, I don't think you get that kind of ability.
01:34:49.000I think you can really be a real governor.
01:34:52.000I don't think you can be a real president.
01:34:54.000I think when it gets to that level, when it comes to things like war, state governments don't have to worry about war.
01:35:02.000When you get to a federal level and you're dealing with multi-billion dollar contracts and you're dealing with the pull-out of the troops in Afghanistan...
01:35:09.000Look, man, it's what I was telling you.
01:35:10.000I talked to this, my buddy, who's a real CIA guy.
01:35:13.000And I had him do my podcast and I called him Mr. Pink because he just was like, you know, it was really weird.
01:36:33.000Well, Benny was talking, the mathematician who, the NSA guy, was talking about other things that the NSA had funded to try to do the same thing that didn't work.
01:36:43.000That they spent Billions of dollars on billions of dollars of your dollars by the way that they don't that's the craziest thing about your taxes you pay whatever you pay 20% You don't even fucking get a you can't even request it you can't say hey I would like to know you know what how much my money you're spending is there a website I could go to like maybe they don't send it to you but you could go oh hey mr. Callen Yeah, well, you paid $70,000 in taxes last year, and your money went to...
01:38:18.000Don't label me a Republican, Democrat, even a Libertarian.
01:38:22.000I want to talk about ideas and develop a philosophy.
01:38:26.000But isn't it weird that that fucking shit works, that conservative liberal shit works?
01:38:31.000Look, and it works, by the way, with liberals just as bad as with conservatives.
01:38:35.000Nothing drives me fucking nutty more than hypocritical liberals who talk about Republicans being prejudiced and then they're completely prejudiced against anybody who has any ideas remotely different from theirs.
01:40:02.000no it's written by David Fromm who talks about and I think his name is David Fromm forgive me if it's not but he talks about how how effective it is when you when you say this is the Patriot Act how do you vote against against the Patriot Act for example you're not going to vote you're not a patriot if you vote against the Patriot Act
01:40:22.000And there are a lot of things you can do as a political force to hijack your position by making it very inconvenient and sound bad when you vote against your agenda.
01:40:35.000Yeah, you can't vote against the Patriot Act.
01:42:55.000I think when you've got a company like Halliburton that has fucking billions of dollars and they're profiting in mad crazy ways from this fucking war, I don't think anybody gets a say.
01:43:07.000I think that influence, the influence of that money is so strong and so sharp they can't avoid it.
01:43:23.000Reading this book, I just keep talking, called China Study, is a classic example.
01:43:28.000This guy does such an amazing job of saying what you're saying.
01:43:31.000How we are no longer, all of a sudden, your kid at school is being fed all different kinds of food that is not only making him sick, but fat.
01:43:40.000Yeah, but listen, man, you can give your kid food, okay?
01:43:44.000That's a terrible thing and everything when your kid's fed at school.
01:47:45.000Yeah, and you feel like shit for days.
01:47:48.000You know, they say that the radiation from those planes when you're flying in high altitude, the radiation is way worse than the radiation you're getting when you're going through the metal detector.
01:48:13.000Yeah, fantastic for jet lag and fantastic for when you don't get enough sleep.
01:48:17.000Because that's one of the main reasons that you have that sort of like a foggy, misfiring sort of a brain when you're hungover or when you're jet lagged.
01:49:13.000Yeah, no one is ever going to understand that feeling unless they've actually done it.
01:49:17.000But there's a giant responsibility that you have after a while when people are coming to see you.
01:49:22.000You remember when you would go to a comedy club and it was just like you happened to be headlining, but nobody knew who the fuck you were.
01:49:27.000When I went out on that stage in front of your fans in Denver, Denver it was so loud it hurt my face I could feel that I could feel the sound waves on my face that was 2000 ravenous fans ravenous fans and the minute I walked out there they thought I was Joe Rogan and They were on their feet, literally like...
01:52:28.000I'm not willing to say that Bigfoot's not real.
01:52:32.000And for a lot of people, as soon as you start saying shit like that, you become an idiot.
01:52:36.000As soon as you start saying things like, you think maybe there might be intelligent life that's visited this planet thousands of years ago and actually made people out of monkeys.
01:52:50.000The fact that people exist alone is bizarre enough to me to leave open a billion different possibilities for how life is seeded throughout the universe, including life on Earth.
01:53:01.000But I'm not afraid of looking like a retard.
01:53:34.000It's just as bad as a man being sexist.
01:53:37.000It's just as bad as a person being racist.
01:53:39.000But you're judging and making people...
01:53:41.000You know how many times I've felt bad for what I look like or who I am or what I like when I was a young man, especially?
01:53:47.000Women, intellectuals, all these different people would look down on you as if there was something wrong with you that you legitimately enjoyed what you enjoy without hurting anybody.
01:54:14.000Because men, when they reach a certain point in time, they have to put on a fucking tie and some stupid shoes with slippery bottoms and go to some job that sucks.
01:54:30.000Well, it's interesting because people want to censor you right away because I think you're a threat.
01:54:34.000That's almost like there was a psychiatrist talking about male-female dynamics a lot of times, and a lot of women will be really attracted to an alpha male.
01:54:40.000And then what happens is, and it's very, very common, and it's a big problem in a relationship, what they'll do And this guy's a couples counselor who works with a lot of different couples.
01:54:49.000What they'll do is women will then be afraid that that aggression is going to be turned on them and their children.
01:56:43.000Where they're using big words and they're comparing you to something and you don't really have necessarily the ammunition to fight back because you're not as good with language and all of a sudden you feel kind of without ammo.
01:56:55.000It might be that you haven't even thought about it.
01:56:57.000And they've been working on this argument against who you are as a human being for most of their life because you're the type of person who's always rejected them.
01:57:06.000You're the type of person that didn't think they were sexually attractive, so it made them feel bad.
01:57:09.000So now they've decided that these hyper-masculine men who are not attracted to me are assholes ruining this earth.
01:57:16.000Meanwhile, if that guy thought you were sexy and he liked to fuck you and you would like to fuck him and you were into this hyper-masculine guy sticking his big cock inside of you, then you'd have a different thing.
01:57:29.000I was like, well, we think differently, but as long as he respects my space, I'll suck his cock.
01:57:35.000So he's an enemy because he gives to you a bad feeling.
01:57:39.000A feeling of you not being attractive, a feeling of you being rejected.
01:57:44.000It's the same thing with ugly men who become woman haters.
01:57:47.000Their whole life, they've been rejected by women over and over and over again.
01:57:50.000So they develop this, fuck these bitches, fuck these hoes.
01:57:54.000They have this attitude towards women, fucking lesbian.
01:57:57.000That fucking, that attitude is not much different than the really homely, ultra-aggressive feminist woman who wants to attack everything that men are into.
01:58:13.000It's finding someone who's different than you and conveniently putting them in a box so that anything that they enjoy, whether you enjoy it or not, anything that they enjoy becomes fodder.
01:58:23.000Anything that they enjoy becomes something that you can use to dismiss them.
01:58:27.000That kind of criticism becomes habitual and it makes it impossible to actually achieve anything yourself when you walk around like such a good critic.
01:58:35.000When you're a good critic, that same critic comes back to criticize you when you really try to do something.
01:58:39.000Well, you have to be able to look at yourself and your own nonsense.
01:58:42.000And you also have to be able to look at how other people are going to view your own nonsense.
01:58:45.000And just because you don't like something doesn't mean something is bad.
01:59:09.000We got a real fucking problem in this country of looking for fault in other folks instead of first doing our own goddamn personal inventory first.
02:00:08.000What I love about writing and stand-up is that as I do it, I start to realize in some ways I've always been writing about the same thing over and over again.
02:00:15.000But in a way, I'm distilling who I really am.
02:00:19.000I'm getting to the core essence of who I really am.
02:00:23.000So now what I do, at 45, now what I'm able to do is just sit and let things come to me a little bit more.
02:02:18.000Sometimes you might have to change your gang.
02:02:19.000You might have to change people you run with.
02:02:21.000Well, that's why when you and I first met, I would get mad at these fucking idiots you were hanging out with, and there was a difference between you and I. So you would suffer all these fools, and I would come along, especially when I was young.
02:05:55.000And the difference between MMA boxing and boxing with big gloves is you can't You can't protect yourself the same way with just like a high guard and blocking things because the gloves are small and they can slip through openings and catch your chin or catch your temple.
02:06:09.000Whereas if you have the big gloves on, you can peck off a lot more shots.
02:06:14.000And also in MMA boxing, of course, you have to realize that with the smaller gloves, they can hit you and do more damage as well.
02:08:22.000When he got Mike Brown, when he won the title, he got Mike Brown on the ground and got his back in a heartbeat and just battered him from that position.
02:08:31.000But the way he got his back, I was like, that is some high-level shit.
02:09:35.000Their whole game is about jumping through the air and running across the field and dodging to the left and dodging to the right and kicking a ball before anybody else can kick it.
02:09:45.000By the way, they also learn how to kick because if you ever...
02:10:55.000If you don't have takedown defense, the striking doesn't mean anything.
02:10:58.000But it seems like if you have two really good NCAA wrestlers or Olympic wrestlers...
02:11:03.000It's going to be hard to take either one of them down.
02:11:05.000So that's why they're going to stand up now.
02:11:08.000Well, you know, a lot of the wrestlers, they develop insane punching power, too, because they learn how to throw themselves into a punch the way they would throw themselves into a power double.
02:11:18.000Like, look at Dan Henderson, who's more of a Greco wrestler, or King Mo.
02:14:50.000I also think maybe that card in the UFC seems to be very aggressive about putting on a lot more events than they used to, and maybe they could scale it back a little bit.
02:16:07.000Donald Cerrone, you have guys like Benson Henderson, these great fighters that were fighting the WEC. Now look, Benson's the UFC champion now.
02:16:14.000Obviously, these guys weren't getting a shot at the top.
02:16:17.000Can you see what Benson did when he got there?
02:16:21.000So Benson being the WEC champion and now being the UFC champion really lends credence to the fact that it was a good move to bring those guys in.
02:16:30.000What about Bellator and those other organizations?
02:16:33.000There's some really good fighters over there.
02:18:45.000They won't fight Machida, but there's a lot of other guys at 205. If he had called up just probably a couple days before, they probably would have done that.
02:18:54.000Who would be a fight for him that would be interesting we haven't seen?
02:22:57.000I think in those kinds of things, a lot of times technology starts moving so quickly and we just, you know, it's all technical and stuff and we just want something.
02:24:33.000But societies have always been, actually, most societies throughout history have always been concerned and centered around figuring out a way to keep that wall up.
02:27:16.000Dom Herrera was saying, we were all hanging out one time a long time ago and there were these girls there and Dom goes, those girls are good looking.
02:27:22.000And I go, yeah, they're fucking 21. Yeah, they look pretty good from here.
02:27:27.000And he goes, no, because at that age, you know, a girl could have a goat head.
02:27:55.000If you could find like a hot guy who was headless, just stuck his fucking hairy ass up in there, guys would just be stroking and they'd be like, yeah, I don't need a head.
02:28:04.000My buddy Keith's got a boyfriend, and his name is Stan, and he wears his hair over one eye.
02:30:40.000Well, we had one on the man show that was so pretty that we were hanging out at the comedy store and she was pulling up, or he, whatever you want to call her, was pulling up in a car and Eddie Bravo was like, whoa, check out this chick.
02:36:06.000Yeah, follow that and follow Brian Callen, B-R-Y-A-N-C-A-L-L-E-N, on the Twitter.
02:36:14.000Thank you, everybody, for the positive messages on Twitter and on Facebook and even Google+.
02:36:21.000I've been on Google +, lately, and I've been on Reddit lately, just for a little bit, but I'm going to do a Reddit Ask Me Anything before my special is released, which should be either at the end of September or the beginning of October, depending on when my website is done.
02:37:08.000We're going to get Rich Roll, who is a vegan athlete.
02:37:13.000Mack Danzig, I've got to holler at you as well, who's also another vegan athlete and a great fighter and fights in the UFC. So we gotta represent the vegans.
02:37:21.000A lot of people think that I hate vegans.