The Joe Rogan Experience - September 12, 2012


Joe Rogan Experience #264 - Tom Segura (Part 2)


Summary

In this episode, the guys talk about the new Samsung Galaxy S3, how to deal with a growing deer population, and the best way to eat a cheeseburger. Also, the boys talk about how they would kill a deer if they had the chance, and why they don't kill them. Also, we talk about why we should be worried about the growing number of deer all over the world, and what we should do about it. We also talk about what would happen if the population of deer exploded and how we could deal with it, and how it would affect the rest of the world's food supply. And of course, we answer the question, "Would you kill a whole bunch of deer if you had the choice?" and much, much more! Enjoy the episode, and spread the word to your friends about this podcasting friends and family about this episode of the pod! If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, Like, Share, and Tell a Friend about this Podcast! We'll be looking out for new episodes coming soon! Timestamps: 3:00 - What's your favorite thing you like about the pod? 4:30 - What do you think of the podcast? 5:00- What would you like to see next week's episode? 6:15 - How do you feel about it? 7:30- What are you would like to hear more? 8:15- What's the worst thing you re listening to right now? 9:40 - Which is your favorite part? 11:00s - What szn 12:30s 13:40s? 15:20s 16:10s 17:00 17 - How would you would you eat a burger? 18:10 19:30 21:30 s 22:40 27:30 is a good thing? 26:20 25:00 is your thoughts on the best thing you veg 29: Is it your favorite meal? 30:00 or 15:00 s? 31:00 ? 36:00 do you want to eat something else? 35:00 Is it better than a steak? 33:00 + +3? 32:00 & 35:50 37:30 Is it a problem?


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Are you going to get in line?
00:00:01.000 Yeah, I might have to get in line.
00:00:02.000 I'll do whatever I have to do.
00:00:03.000 Really?
00:00:04.000 I'll probably get the bug and then just want it badly.
00:00:07.000 I like it, man.
00:00:07.000 I'd be willing to wait in line for like an hour.
00:00:09.000 No, half an hour.
00:00:11.000 Half an hour.
00:00:11.000 Oh, alright.
00:00:12.000 I'd like to listen to some music.
00:00:13.000 So you tap out after that.
00:00:14.000 I would just think about how long does it take?
00:00:15.000 How long is this line?
00:00:16.000 Half hour?
00:00:17.000 Just order it.
00:00:18.000 If you order it, they just ship it to you.
00:00:19.000 Yeah, but...
00:00:20.000 You get it the same day.
00:00:21.000 When you want it, immediately.
00:00:22.000 But what will hold me over is that Samsung Galaxy S3. I want to see it, man.
00:00:27.000 Oh, shit, bitch.
00:00:28.000 Yeah, I've heard good things.
00:00:29.000 Yeah, I'll pull it out.
00:00:30.000 I'll let you touch it.
00:00:30.000 I did have somebody at a show.
00:00:32.000 I want to touch it.
00:00:34.000 Take a picture with it, and the screen looked beautiful.
00:00:37.000 It's insane.
00:00:38.000 And you know what else it can do?
00:00:39.000 It can take a blast of photos.
00:00:40.000 It can take a...
00:00:42.000 Oh, really?
00:00:43.000 Ten photos in a row.
00:00:43.000 Like a high speed?
00:00:44.000 Yeah, it does some weird thing where you can jump up in the air and it'll capture ten different pictures.
00:00:51.000 It's amazing.
00:00:52.000 Like if the deer that I got in my backyard...
00:00:55.000 When I went to the bathroom, they were going full on, running fast back and forth for no reason.
00:01:02.000 What are these guys doing?
00:01:04.000 Just run around, man.
00:01:05.000 Your house is surrounded by crazy deer.
00:01:07.000 Yeah, but this is where they feel comfortable because my dogs can't get...
00:01:11.000 Listen, they're nice animals.
00:01:13.000 Who cares?
00:01:14.000 They're lucky.
00:01:15.000 They're lucky that it's not illegal to shoot them.
00:01:18.000 Yeah.
00:01:18.000 Would you shoot them?
00:01:18.000 I might.
00:01:19.000 I might.
00:01:21.000 There's a problem.
00:01:22.000 There's a problem with deer.
00:01:23.000 It's not a problem in my neighborhood because nobody drives fast.
00:01:26.000 It's a pretty quiet area.
00:01:28.000 But if you have this many deer near a main road, it becomes a real problem.
00:01:33.000 People all over the world crash into deer.
00:01:35.000 I mean, it's just a fucking really common way that people get injured and cars get fucked up.
00:01:39.000 Fucked up.
00:01:40.000 I've seen cars ruined from deer.
00:01:43.000 Think of how big that deer was and if that hit the windshield.
00:01:45.000 That would break your fucking face, man.
00:01:47.000 And if the thing's still alive and kicking and glass is flying in your eyeballs.
00:01:51.000 If it was a motorcycle.
00:01:53.000 Yeah, you literally have to kill those things.
00:01:55.000 You have to kill them.
00:01:57.000 PETA people don't want to admit this, but there's one of two options, okay?
00:02:01.000 You either assume your position at the top of the food chain and deal with the problem, or you bring something else in and you're no longer at the top of the food chain.
00:02:10.000 Because that's the only way you're going to have to deal with this issue.
00:02:12.000 What do they prey everywhere?
00:02:14.000 So you either eat it or you bring in predators.
00:02:17.000 That's all you can do.
00:02:17.000 Because you're either going to shoot it or you've got to bring in mountain lions and wolves.
00:02:20.000 Do they propose that we just let deer just explode in population?
00:02:24.000 Yeah.
00:02:24.000 Well, you know, look, they don't want people hunting.
00:02:27.000 Right.
00:02:28.000 They don't want people hunting.
00:02:29.000 But I don't know what kind of ideas they have to stop the population growth.
00:02:33.000 Because if you don't manage that shit...
00:02:35.000 And this is something that...
00:02:36.000 When I was a young man, I thought that deer hunting...
00:02:39.000 Wow, why would you ever want to kill a deer?
00:02:41.000 I didn't even think about the irony of wanting a cheeseburger and wondering why anybody would go and kill a deer.
00:02:48.000 It didn't even make sense to me.
00:02:50.000 But...
00:02:51.000 As you get older and you understand that you have to do something about the population, if you don't do something about the population, they're like rats.
00:03:02.000 There's going to be a disease.
00:03:03.000 There's going to be problems.
00:03:05.000 Because every population needs to be put in check.
00:03:07.000 The cycle has to be in.
00:03:08.000 The reason why the world's so fucked up right now Is because there's nothing that eats us That's like the main reason We can just dominate We can just run around all willy nilly And nothing puts us in check And if that was the case with deer We would be fucked We'd go 20 miles an hour everywhere They'd be jumping in front of your car Everywhere you went The only good thing is we'd never go hungry You'd just pull over Pull out a gun Boom Blow one of those stupid fucking things in the head Start a fire You could eat You would never starve to death
00:03:38.000 But there'd be deer everywhere, and you wouldn't get anywhere, and people would die on the highway every day.
00:03:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:03:42.000 Because you would just hit one of those fucking dummies, and it would kick through your skull.
00:03:47.000 They would fucking fuck you up.
00:03:48.000 Oh, they'd fuck you up, man.
00:03:49.000 Have you ever had deer jerky?
00:03:50.000 Love it.
00:03:51.000 That's good stuff, man.
00:03:51.000 I have a box of it.
00:03:52.000 Oh, really?
00:03:53.000 Yeah, I buy venison jerky and elk jerky.
00:03:56.000 Yeah.
00:03:56.000 I feel like a man when I eat them.
00:03:57.000 That's good stuff.
00:03:58.000 I feel like I'm a mountain man.
00:03:59.000 I'm living up in a cabin.
00:04:01.000 You are.
00:04:01.000 You are.
00:04:01.000 Dude, you savage animal.
00:04:03.000 I'm fierce.
00:04:03.000 I'm feeling fierce as fuck.
00:04:05.000 All right.
00:04:06.000 God, deer's living in my yard, bro.
00:04:07.000 I'm like a wild person up here.
00:04:08.000 You are a wild person.
00:04:10.000 You gotta be careful about wild, though.
00:04:12.000 Gotta respect that shit.
00:04:13.000 Gotta keep it in line.
00:04:14.000 People that think that you shouldn't kill deer are ridiculous.
00:04:17.000 You're ridiculous.
00:04:18.000 You have to do something with them.
00:04:19.000 You're ridiculous and you're dangerous.
00:04:21.000 Okay?
00:04:21.000 And it's stupid.
00:04:22.000 It's not like they're going to live forever if you don't shoot them.
00:04:24.000 And by the way, killing deer is a thousand times better than running some ridiculous factory chicken farm, stuffing everything into a fucking box where it can't move.
00:04:35.000 Just think about veal.
00:04:37.000 Think about how they raise veal and how many pig farms or pigs are stuffed right next to you.
00:04:42.000 Deers are just running around, man.
00:04:44.000 Just running around.
00:04:46.000 I would like to do the bow hunting.
00:04:47.000 Dude, I've been watching a lot of bow hunting.
00:04:49.000 It's cool, but I can't actually.
00:04:51.000 I'm not good at stomaching the kill part.
00:04:54.000 I'll show you something that you really won't like.
00:04:56.000 Really?
00:04:57.000 Yeah.
00:04:57.000 War?
00:04:58.000 There's a show called Pig Man, and I've been obsessed with it from the time I saw them first kill a pig with a knife.
00:05:06.000 Yeah.
00:05:07.000 The dogs hold the pig down, and they stab it in the throat with a knife.
00:05:10.000 Is this a show?
00:05:11.000 Yeah, it's a show.
00:05:13.000 It's about pigs in rural Texas.
00:05:15.000 Pigs in Texas are a fucking huge problem.
00:05:18.000 And wild pigs are literally destroying millions of acres.
00:05:22.000 There's millions and millions of wild pigs.
00:05:24.000 It's a ridiculous infestation to the point where they're shooting them out of helicopters.
00:05:29.000 And that's one of the things they did on Pigman.
00:05:31.000 This guy gets in a fucking helicopter and shoots like 200 pigs in a day.
00:05:35.000 Well, this is the disturbing.
00:05:36.000 That was disturbing, but the most recent episode was way more disturbing.
00:05:40.000 He goes hunting in Argentina, and he's trying to get pigs, like these big giant pigs, and there's no pigs around, so he shoots a fox.
00:05:49.000 And he shoots a fox with a bow and arrow, and the thing screams this horrible sound.
00:05:59.000 fucked up, man.
00:06:00.000 It was really weird to watch because he nails this thing and it just lets out this horrible, horrible screech.
00:06:09.000 And then you realize he's not going to eat that.
00:06:11.000 You're not eating that fox.
00:06:13.000 He just shot that fox because he could shoot that fox.
00:06:16.000 I was like, oh, what, for the pelts or something?
00:06:19.000 Jesus Christ, what are we doing?
00:06:20.000 We living in the fur trapping days?
00:06:22.000 You're not really a fur trapper.
00:06:24.000 I mean, I guess it's worth some money, but you just shot that thing because you wanted to shoot a fox.
00:06:28.000 And when I lived in Colorado, man, foxes are cool as fuck.
00:06:31.000 Foxes are badass.
00:06:32.000 They're kind of cool, man.
00:06:34.000 There's, what's it called, coyotes that run around Griffith Park?
00:06:40.000 The coyotes are different.
00:06:41.000 Coyotes are creeps.
00:06:42.000 I have coyotes in my backyard.
00:06:43.000 They're dangerous creeps.
00:06:44.000 They are.
00:06:45.000 They're dangerous creeps.
00:06:46.000 But foxes are not dangerous to people at all.
00:06:48.000 Coyotes will attack children, but foxes won't.
00:06:51.000 Foxes are very clever.
00:06:53.000 They do come in packs.
00:06:54.000 And they come in packs down from the hillside, and you'll...
00:06:58.000 All of a sudden, every few weeks, I'll hear that they have a maniacal, high-pitched barking thing they do.
00:07:05.000 They're dangerous, bro.
00:07:05.000 They're dangerous.
00:07:06.000 Yeah, they're always in my front yard.
00:07:08.000 They play with my dog through the window.
00:07:11.000 My dog will bark, and then that coyote will come up and just like...
00:07:13.000 Yeah, that's stupid...
00:07:15.000 What I say about them is that the only reason they don't kill us is because they don't think they can get away with it.
00:07:21.000 That's all it is.
00:07:22.000 And they'll kill anything else around us, including your children.
00:07:24.000 They will attack your children.
00:07:25.000 It's happened a bunch of times.
00:07:27.000 I've seen a dog running, like trotting.
00:07:31.000 A coyote, excuse me.
00:07:33.000 Trotting down fountain with a dog in its mouth.
00:07:36.000 Are you serious?
00:07:38.000 That's what they eat.
00:07:39.000 Late at night.
00:07:40.000 They snatch them right off of people's leashes.
00:07:42.000 People go walking around in nice neighborhoods like Brentwood.
00:07:45.000 They go walking around with a dog on a leash and a coyote will come and snatch that motherfucker off and run.
00:07:50.000 The rats out here, man.
00:07:52.000 The rats just walk on my power lines.
00:07:54.000 Just going from house to house, you just see tons of rats.
00:07:57.000 Whoa.
00:07:57.000 That shit.
00:07:58.000 Fuck that, dude.
00:08:00.000 They had to lock down some house and quarantine it because some people caught some horrible rat disease from that hoarder show.
00:08:08.000 Oh, jeez.
00:08:09.000 Yeah, they're cleaning up people's houses, and these people had a rat infestation in their house.
00:08:14.000 And this disease, apparently, it kills like 20-50% of the people who get it, and it's incurable.
00:08:22.000 There's no cure for it.
00:08:23.000 So these people are catching this horrible, incurable disease from cleaning up people's shit houses.
00:08:28.000 Jesus.
00:08:29.000 Rats everywhere, and infestations, and Fuck, man.
00:08:33.000 I used to see those rats on the power lines.
00:08:35.000 And this is when I worked in a big corporate building.
00:08:38.000 And so I talked to the guys who would come into the offices and the kitchen and set traps and do this stuff.
00:08:44.000 So I was like, hey, I'm terrified of the fucking rats.
00:08:48.000 I was like, what can I do about rats?
00:08:50.000 And he was like, well, he'd tell me the options.
00:08:52.000 And he was like, he gave me.
00:08:55.000 These gel pad, like sticky gel.
00:08:59.000 It's like a big rectangular thing and you just place it.
00:09:03.000 He's like, they'll be running and then they'll just get stuck in that.
00:09:06.000 And then they just rot.
00:09:07.000 And then they'll just die.
00:09:08.000 So I was like, alright.
00:09:10.000 I was so scared of them that I said, fuck it.
00:09:12.000 I put it up on the roof.
00:09:14.000 He's like, put a little peanut butter and they'll just come right there.
00:09:17.000 Cool.
00:09:18.000 I lay them out.
00:09:19.000 I come out the next day.
00:09:21.000 They are from the roof.
00:09:22.000 They're down on the floor now, flipped over, and shit on.
00:09:29.000 It's like the rats pick them up, flip them over, and shit all over them.
00:09:33.000 Like, fuck your trap.
00:09:34.000 Really?
00:09:34.000 Yeah.
00:09:35.000 Wow.
00:09:35.000 And they were just...
00:09:37.000 Kicked over.
00:09:37.000 With rat shit all over them.
00:09:39.000 I had a really bad mouse problem when I was in college.
00:09:42.000 It was so bad where the mice would take a blanket off my couch and mice would scurry out.
00:09:48.000 When you have an ancient infrastructure that's been infested, like New York City's infrastructure, there's really almost no way to eradicate them.
00:09:56.000 Unless you would clean every person out of the city and then just kill everything alive in the city.
00:10:02.000 And even then, you're probably going to miss a few.
00:10:04.000 They're going to be in cracks.
00:10:07.000 there's more brats I think than there are people in New York City yeah so we had one of those traps but my mouse like I was like one day I was like what's that noise in my kitchen and I hear like like like just a shuffling noise and there's like just blood and there's a mouse there that was like biting his leg off and I didn't know what to do so I grabbed like one of those scoops that you for the broom and I threw it outside and I was So I don't know what happened to it.
00:10:33.000 I just never went into my backyard anymore.
00:10:35.000 Jesus Christ.
00:10:38.000 Anywhere where there's rats, you just gotta get the fuck out of there.
00:10:41.000 You can't win.
00:10:42.000 You're not gonna win.
00:10:43.000 You need to set up shop in a place that doesn't have rats like that.
00:10:45.000 That was the monoxide house.
00:10:47.000 Yeah.
00:10:47.000 Same house.
00:10:48.000 Makes sense.
00:10:49.000 Jesus Christ, what a shitty house.
00:10:51.000 You got attacked by rodents and poisoned brain.
00:10:54.000 Dude, speaking of poisoned brain, this new Sports Illustrated, I know you're a football fan.
00:10:58.000 Did you read this shit on Jim McMahon?
00:11:00.000 No, I know he's not doing well.
00:11:03.000 He's not doing well, man.
00:11:04.000 When I was a kid, I was not a football fan, but I knew who the fuck Jim McMahon was.
00:11:08.000 He was a super famous football player.
00:11:11.000 Bandanas that he used to wear and shit.
00:11:12.000 Sunglasses and shit.
00:11:13.000 Super Bowl Shuffle.
00:11:14.000 Yeah, the Super Bowl shuffle.
00:11:15.000 Well, he apparently has dementia.
00:11:18.000 And his girlfriend takes pictures of them together because one day she's worried that he's going to forget who she is.
00:11:24.000 Because she sees it slowly slipping away.
00:11:26.000 He'll kiss her goodbye and then he'll be downstairs just standing frozen because he can't remember what he was going to do.
00:11:32.000 I think football is on the verge of changing dramatically.
00:11:35.000 How the fuck can you?
00:11:36.000 They were talking to him.
00:11:37.000 He was on the sports show and they were talking to him about it.
00:11:40.000 And he said leather helmets might be the rule.
00:11:43.000 Like, go back to leather helmets and have no head contact at all.
00:11:48.000 But that's not going to work.
00:11:49.000 I mean, it's like, who's going to accept that?
00:11:51.000 Yeah.
00:11:52.000 I know.
00:11:52.000 I saw the, oh my god, on Real Sports on HBO. Yeah.
00:11:57.000 All those old players that come in all shaking and fucked up.
00:12:00.000 Oh, they've seen that, but they have this guy, I feel bad that I forgot his name, he played for the Saints.
00:12:05.000 Yeah.
00:12:06.000 And he got ALS at like 34, 35. And basically they said this is the first time we've ever seen that this traumatic, just head, or the severe head trauma repeatedly Might be a cause of ALS. We've never had...
00:12:26.000 We've never shown evidence that something could lead to ALS. What does ALS stand for?
00:12:32.000 It's a long...
00:12:34.000 It's a medical term that I can't pronounce correctly, but it's...
00:12:38.000 It destroys your muscles.
00:12:40.000 And the only thing it doesn't destroy as it eats away your muscles is your brain.
00:12:44.000 So you're totally aware of how you're physically just...
00:12:48.000 Evaporating.
00:12:49.000 Evaporating.
00:12:50.000 And like...
00:12:52.000 He played in the first game after Katrina.
00:12:56.000 New Orleans was just devastated, right?
00:12:58.000 And the Superdome was used to house the city's residents who didn't have a place to go.
00:13:05.000 And they never know if they were going to even be able to rebuild it.
00:13:07.000 They rebuilt it, got it all cleaned up, and then they had their first game since Katrina.
00:13:12.000 And it was like a big deal.
00:13:14.000 And he...
00:13:15.000 Blocked a punt that just sent the place into...
00:13:19.000 It's like one of the craziest...
00:13:20.000 You see the clip of it.
00:13:22.000 It's super emotional.
00:13:23.000 The place just goes nuts.
00:13:24.000 They're so excited to have their team back.
00:13:26.000 And so he was that guy, and he retired.
00:13:28.000 He played like eight or nine years in the league and was retired and looking forward to the rest of his life.
00:13:34.000 How old was he when he retired?
00:13:35.000 He retired, I think, like 30, 31, a few years ago.
00:13:40.000 And then, you know...
00:13:41.000 Why did he retire at 31?
00:13:43.000 He just had his run.
00:13:45.000 He was a special teams player.
00:13:47.000 He had a good career, and then...
00:13:50.000 But it seems like there's plenty of years left in your athletic career.
00:13:54.000 A lot of NFL guys are three, four years.
00:13:58.000 And is it because of physical breakdown?
00:14:00.000 You just don't make the cut.
00:14:02.000 A lot of times you'll see guys that they were big contributors, and then they're waived by this team, picked up by this team, and all of a sudden they're 29 even, and no team wants them anymore.
00:14:15.000 That's so crazy.
00:14:16.000 Just you wear out.
00:14:17.000 You wear out.
00:14:17.000 I mean, it's so fucking, you know, those collisions, man.
00:14:21.000 And they asked him during the thing, they're like, how many times were you knocked out during your career?
00:14:27.000 And he was like, twice, you know, where I was like blackout, knocked out.
00:14:30.000 And then how many times...
00:14:31.000 Did you have like your bell rung, you know, where you're just like, holy shit.
00:14:35.000 He was like hundreds.
00:14:37.000 Hundreds of times.
00:14:39.000 That's fucking...
00:14:40.000 Even in practice.
00:14:41.000 Those count too, man.
00:14:42.000 Those count too.
00:14:43.000 Practice counts.
00:14:44.000 Everything counts.
00:14:45.000 And we see, you know, Junior Seau...
00:14:48.000 What do you do, though?
00:14:49.000 Do you tell people they've got to stop playing football?
00:14:51.000 I would not want my kids to play football, I'll tell you that.
00:14:53.000 I would be reluctant.
00:14:54.000 I know that the only way, the thing that most people agree on is that the proper technique is not being taught from a young age now.
00:15:06.000 If you look at old footage of football, yeah, they're different caliber athletes and stuff, and they're not like the monsters, but it was more technical tackling.
00:15:17.000 You're taught when you bend your knees, you put your shoulder into basically somebody's chest, you wrap up, you tackle.
00:15:24.000 Those are the tackles that rarely do you see that result in some devastating head drama.
00:15:31.000 But now, and this is now meaning the last 15, 20 years, It is like, you see helmets being lowered, crown of the head, into the other person's helmet, just head blows.
00:15:44.000 People are fucking, you know, throwing shoulders, helmets, and forearms into people's heads, and then you see them, like, just, it's like they were just in a car accident, man.
00:15:54.000 Like, they're just, they can't handle it.
00:15:55.000 Doesn't matter what type of helmet you wear.
00:15:58.000 Yeah, there's only so much punishment your brain can take, and I think that there's very few things in life that hit you as hard as a football player does.
00:16:07.000 I just think that those dudes, when you look at a 300-pound guy running at you, full clip, and charging into your body while another guy hits you over this way, and you collide together, and then the guy goes unconscious.
00:16:18.000 Is there any other time in life where you see a man completely armored up, just get knocked unconscious?
00:16:23.000 Oh my God, I know.
00:16:25.000 They have helmets on, they have big armor padding on their shoulders, and they get knocked the fuck out.
00:16:31.000 And the real problem, now they're more on top of it because they have to be, but the real problem is you look at the 80s and 90s, the guys who are now 40 to 50, and you're seeing a lot of depression, dementia, and you're seeing Alzheimer's and all these different debilitating things take place.
00:16:49.000 Those guys would get knocked out.
00:16:53.000 Or, you know, they would get, like, a severe concussion, and it would just be, like, you need to go play right away now.
00:17:00.000 Like, there wasn't, like, now there's, like, you know, they're finally doing, like, if you even have a sign of this, you're going to be out for this amount of time.
00:17:07.000 You have to have test.
00:17:08.000 Those guys played with, like, full concussion syndromes.
00:17:13.000 Jesus Christ.
00:17:13.000 Which means that, like, their brain just went, just shook inside their skull, and now they're fucking playing again, you know?
00:17:20.000 It's so crazy that they didn't even know.
00:17:24.000 That just shows you how recent not just the science of brain trauma is, where they really kind of understand what causes real problems, but also the idea of this as a sport is so recent.
00:17:36.000 In the human medical encyclopedia, as far as things that happen to people, how often did they have to judge or look at a very specific group, like people who do this one thing, who all come down with traumatic brain injury?
00:17:55.000 Like, what the fuck is going on?
00:17:56.000 What is this one profession?
00:17:58.000 It's not like being a welder does that, but being this football player thing?
00:18:02.000 Well, this whole idea of a football player is like 100 years old.
00:18:05.000 I mean, it's super new.
00:18:06.000 So, in the medical history of, like, things that you shouldn't do that are fucked up for you, this sort of hasn't really been fully entered.
00:18:15.000 But neither has fighting, man.
00:18:16.000 I mean, fighting, like, as far as, like, people have known about punch-drunk boxers forever.
00:18:21.000 I mean, that's always been, you know, the boxer that's stuck around too long and the horrible stories and the words that are, you know, stumbling, slurring out of their mouth.
00:18:32.000 It's terrible to watch that stuff.
00:18:34.000 We've known about that forever.
00:18:36.000 But we're going to start to see that probably from MMA fighters if they're not looked after.
00:18:40.000 Definitely.
00:18:41.000 As well.
00:18:41.000 I mean, they're taking shots to the head as well.
00:18:44.000 It's all about knowing when to fucking get out.
00:18:47.000 Yeah.
00:18:47.000 It's all about use as much intelligence as you can, risk as much as you need to, but no more, and then get out when you feel like it's slipping away.
00:18:58.000 Yeah.
00:18:58.000 And you gotta treat any real head trauma, a concussion, like a really serious event.
00:19:08.000 It's not something to just be like, oh, that happens.
00:19:11.000 It gets really, really serious.
00:19:12.000 Well, I've heard of dudes get knocked out in training and then go to a fight and then get hit with a small shot in the fight and they go unconscious.
00:19:21.000 Because they were really walking around halfway knocked out already.
00:19:25.000 Yeah, sure.
00:19:26.000 Marvin Eastman fought Travis Luter.
00:19:28.000 Travis Luter hit him on the end of the punch.
00:19:31.000 It was really weird.
00:19:33.000 It looked like he just shut off.
00:19:37.000 Like, he hit him in his whole body, and I was like, that doesn't even make any sense.
00:19:40.000 But then he talked to the people that trained with him, and they said he got knocked out twice in camp for that fight.
00:19:46.000 Which is just fucking crazy!
00:19:49.000 Yeah, and he was probably right back, like, the day after fucking taking shots.
00:19:53.000 Yeah.
00:19:54.000 I wonder if they're ever going to be able to fix that.
00:19:56.000 I wonder if there's ever going to be anything that can repair.
00:19:59.000 Because the thing about brain conditions, I think, from impact is that they're degenerative.
00:20:04.000 And that just like with these boxers, they say that something happened to them 10 years ago and they start to feel the effects 10 years later.
00:20:11.000 Well, I think, you know, because it's so unnatural, either to get, like, the trauma you experience...
00:20:17.000 Absolutely.
00:20:18.000 Like, most people that have one occurrence like that, that's the one occurrence they have for their life.
00:20:24.000 They don't have that.
00:20:25.000 They don't go through that hundreds of times.
00:20:28.000 You know, you have...
00:20:29.000 You know, everyone knows somebody.
00:20:31.000 Oh, you're in a car accident?
00:20:31.000 Oh, fuck, and it fucked me up.
00:20:33.000 That's that one time that happened.
00:20:35.000 And I had headaches for fucking years, and I went to this type of therapist, and I got this type of treatment once.
00:20:42.000 Not like, oh, this is the kind of thing that happens to me every six weeks.
00:20:46.000 I get fucking just laid out and fucking pass out because somebody devastated my head.
00:20:52.000 Well, a lot of camps that didn't know any better, they thought that would toughen guys up.
00:20:56.000 So guys were getting knocked out in training all the time.
00:20:58.000 Because they would go full clip in training.
00:21:01.000 That was really common in a lot of camps.
00:21:03.000 I don't want to name names.
00:21:05.000 But yeah, people, they don't treat brain trauma with as much respect as they should.
00:21:10.000 Yeah, they did a lot of things fucked up.
00:21:12.000 They used to not believe that you should give...
00:21:16.000 Football players water in August to toughen you up during practice.
00:21:22.000 You go two and a half hours with no water.
00:21:25.000 It's 98 degrees outside.
00:21:27.000 They thought that was the smart thing to do.
00:21:29.000 They did a lot of stupid shit, man.
00:21:31.000 They did a lot of stupid shit.
00:21:33.000 There's a lot of people out there that got their brains ruined because people didn't understand.
00:21:38.000 But now it comes down to this.
00:21:40.000 Now we know.
00:21:40.000 Now what do we do?
00:21:41.000 Because it seems like you can fight in MMA and get out of it without brain trauma.
00:21:45.000 I don't know if that's the case with football.
00:21:47.000 I really don't.
00:21:48.000 There's some guys that clearly have made it out okay, but there's guys...
00:21:53.000 I think there's going to be this wave...
00:21:55.000 This wave of guys you're going to see where it's not just every once in a while you hear the news of somebody.
00:22:02.000 It's just going to be dozens of people that have severe brain injuries from football.
00:22:09.000 That's how they should get rid of the helmets.
00:22:11.000 Yeah, that's what they're saying.
00:22:12.000 It's been suggested.
00:22:13.000 Look, it's a very bright suggestion.
00:22:15.000 And people think it's silly.
00:22:17.000 They're like, what are you talking about?
00:22:18.000 That's even more dangerous.
00:22:19.000 It's actually not, man.
00:22:21.000 It's also one of the arguments about MMA. That they should switch to bare knuckles.
00:22:25.000 Because you can't punch people as hard.
00:22:27.000 The only problem is you cut people a lot easier with your knuckles.
00:22:30.000 A lot of fights would be stopped because of cuts.
00:22:34.000 Elbows and knuckles cut people the most.
00:22:40.000 I mean, the helmet is used in football as a weapon.
00:22:43.000 It's just like when you talk about the gloves that are dipped, your hand-wrapped.
00:22:49.000 It's a fucking solid weapon.
00:22:51.000 Yeah, and it's protected by all these pads, so you can brace it against your You know, your neck and everything and you're running full into somebody.
00:22:58.000 It's a silly sport, man.
00:23:00.000 As a human being, I mean, look, it's super impressive.
00:23:03.000 And if that's how you make your living, you know, hey, God bless you.
00:23:06.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:23:07.000 God bless.
00:23:08.000 But if you've got another option, man, you might want to not slam your body into dudes as hard as you can.
00:23:14.000 Because it seems like that shit's bad for you.
00:23:16.000 There's definitely a good argument against it.
00:23:18.000 Because a fighter like Anderson Silva can go through whole fights and not get touched.
00:23:22.000 He just fucks guys up and doesn't even get hit.
00:23:25.000 And you look at it and go, well, if you're super talented and super technical, you can fight and not take that much damage.
00:23:32.000 You go through all of Anderson's fights.
00:23:34.000 Only the Chael Sonnen fight does he ever take a bunch of punches.
00:23:37.000 And he still looked fine at the end of that.
00:23:39.000 And brain-wise, do you think he's alright?
00:23:41.000 Yeah, he's fine.
00:23:42.000 He's fine.
00:23:42.000 He's 100% fine.
00:23:43.000 There's nothing wrong with him.
00:23:44.000 But he's also, he's delishing.
00:23:47.000 He's dishing out way more punches.
00:23:49.000 Yeah.
00:23:50.000 Dishing out more delicious punches.
00:23:51.000 Delicious.
00:23:53.000 He's just fucking people up so hard.
00:23:55.000 Yeah.
00:23:56.000 He's on a totally different confidence level than them.
00:23:59.000 He's on a totally different striking speed, wavelength.
00:24:03.000 He's just putting beatings on dudes, man.
00:24:05.000 And so because of that, he's not taking much damage.
00:24:08.000 But then you see some other dudes that he's fighting.
00:24:11.000 Some guys, he's fucking up.
00:24:12.000 And you gotta go, man, how many more fights like this can this guy have?
00:24:16.000 And every fighter has to sort of decide on their own.
00:24:18.000 They have to reach this sort of...
00:24:20.000 It's a tough thing to come to, man.
00:24:22.000 It's time to dip out.
00:24:23.000 Especially if that's how you make a living.
00:24:25.000 You don't know how you're going to pay your bills.
00:24:27.000 Not to mention the rush they get of being in the game.
00:24:32.000 Being part of prize fights.
00:24:35.000 You're fucking in an arena and people are...
00:24:37.000 Screaming when you enter the...
00:24:38.000 That's a rush you can't compare to anything you do in your regular fucking life.
00:24:42.000 Yeah, there's nothing like that.
00:24:43.000 There's nothing like that.
00:24:44.000 That's a hard thing to fucking put down.
00:24:46.000 It would be super hard to find something that can come even close.
00:24:48.000 You'd have to be like a fighter pilot or some shit.
00:24:50.000 They say that that's...
00:24:51.000 A lot of people are saying that's what Seau...
00:24:53.000 He played in the NFL for like 16 years, which is pretty much unheard of.
00:24:58.000 Especially as a linebacker.
00:25:00.000 And that, like, he just was depressed about not getting that rush anymore.
00:25:07.000 You know, being, like, in the games anymore.
00:25:10.000 Well, also, he had considerable brain damage.
00:25:12.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:25:13.000 Definitely.
00:25:13.000 Yeah, that's the thing, man.
00:25:14.000 They say that brain damage.
00:25:15.000 They say once it fucks with your pituitary, your brain stops producing the right amount of testosterone, you get depressed from that.
00:25:22.000 You know, there's a lot of different factors that can lead to, like, some pretty severe depression because of brain trauma.
00:25:27.000 Yeah.
00:25:27.000 It's one of the arguments against testosterone replacement for fighters, actually, is the traumatic brain injury argument.
00:25:36.000 I don't totally, completely understand it, but I think what they're saying is that if you get hit in the head enough, like James Toney was an example of it, you get hit in the head enough and your body's not going to produce testosterone the same way anymore.
00:25:47.000 But then I've heard other doctors say, and this kind of makes sense to me, well, hey, man, if you can't produce testosterone anymore because you got hit in the head so many times, maybe you should stop getting hit in the head.
00:25:57.000 That's a great lesson to learn.
00:25:59.000 It seems like that's the thing you should stop first.
00:26:04.000 Forget about trying to do anything to supplement your testosterone.
00:26:08.000 You've got to stop getting hit in the head because your brain's going to stop working.
00:26:11.000 It's just like, how many times can you hit your car with a hammer before the engine breaks?
00:26:15.000 It's like, enough.
00:26:17.000 There's great footage of James Toney sparring a few years back, and he's pretty out of shape in it, and he talks shit the entire time that he's sparring, and he's winded, but he's just like...
00:26:35.000 He's so technically talented, James Toney.
00:26:38.000 His shoulder rolls and his ability to figure out where you're punching and block you and cover you.
00:26:44.000 He's a brilliant boxer, man.
00:26:46.000 If you go back to the early days, like when he knocked out Michael Nunn, James Toney's a goddamn animal, man.
00:26:52.000 He's a power-punching, tough dude.
00:26:55.000 And he became a slick-ass boxer.
00:26:58.000 He just didn't have the same motivation to training that some other guys did.
00:27:04.000 If he trained like Roy Jones Jr. trained, man, what a fight that was.
00:27:09.000 Him and Roy Jones Jr., that was a fucking great fight.
00:27:12.000 Yeah, if he would have trained like Roy Jones...
00:27:15.000 Yeah, that was too bad.
00:27:16.000 It's too bad he never sort of recovered from that.
00:27:19.000 Did they fight again?
00:27:20.000 Did they ever fight again?
00:27:21.000 I don't know if they fought twice.
00:27:22.000 I don't know.
00:27:23.000 I don't think they did.
00:27:24.000 Why do I feel like they didn't?
00:27:27.000 But James Toney was one of the only major guys that ever tried to get into MMA. Oh yeah, he did, yeah.
00:27:36.000 Yeah, he fought Randy Couture.
00:27:37.000 How did that go?
00:27:38.000 It didn't go so good.
00:27:40.000 Randy Couture just grabbed him and threw him on the ground, strangled him.
00:27:45.000 Like immediately?
00:27:46.000 Was it like a 10 second thing?
00:27:49.000 Yeah, it was a joke.
00:27:50.000 Oh Jesus.
00:27:51.000 He took him down with a low single, got him an ankle pick.
00:27:55.000 I guess they were trying to plan it.
00:27:57.000 They were trying to plan the second fight.
00:27:59.000 Oh really?
00:28:00.000 Yeah, but I think James Toney might be a heavyweight now.
00:28:03.000 Big boy.
00:28:04.000 Yeah.
00:28:05.000 Well, they say that...
00:28:06.000 GT. Yeah.
00:28:07.000 They might...
00:28:09.000 They say Tony's like 240 pounds and Roy Jones, you know, is still fighting.
00:28:15.000 But he fights at like cruiserweight sometimes or light heavyweight sometimes.
00:28:19.000 James Tony's not going to drop down.
00:28:21.000 I've been watching Roy Jones fight, too.
00:28:23.000 It's depressing as shit.
00:28:24.000 I know.
00:28:24.000 It's not like the old days of it.
00:28:25.000 It's not just like the old days.
00:28:26.000 He's getting knocked out a lot.
00:28:28.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:28:28.000 I've seen him knocked out a couple of times.
00:28:30.000 You know, he's a good analyst.
00:28:31.000 He's actually a good analyst.
00:28:32.000 He is.
00:28:32.000 I don't know why he doesn't just fucking, you know, make that.
00:28:35.000 He needs money, man.
00:28:36.000 Apparently, if you listen to the internet, they say that he's another one of those dudes who didn't pay his taxes.
00:28:41.000 Jesus, man.
00:28:42.000 Yeah, he owes millions of dollars.
00:28:44.000 That's ridiculous.
00:28:45.000 Well, you know, someone tells you you don't have to pay, or someone's a shitty financial advisor, or you think you've got everything covered, and this is never going to go away.
00:28:54.000 Christ.
00:28:55.000 A lot of those guys don't have good accountants, man.
00:28:57.000 I know.
00:28:57.000 You've got to pay your money.
00:28:58.000 You've got to pay.
00:28:59.000 I don't think we should pay as much as we pay, but I think you've got to fucking pay.
00:29:02.000 You've got to pay, apparently.
00:29:02.000 I get a little pissed off when I find out about a guy that's been living high on the hog and owes millions of dollars in taxes.
00:29:09.000 Because we should all contribute.
00:29:12.000 You know this Obama argument that everybody's upset at him because he said if you run a small business, you didn't build that.
00:29:18.000 You didn't build the infrastructure.
00:29:20.000 That's what he meant.
00:29:20.000 You didn't build the streets.
00:29:22.000 And everybody was upset by that.
00:29:23.000 But in a lot of ways, that is true.
00:29:26.000 I mean, we do need to pay.
00:29:27.000 Everybody needs to pay a little bit of something.
00:29:29.000 It's just there should be some sort of an accounting problem.
00:29:32.000 You should be able to find out how you're spending the money.
00:29:34.000 It shouldn't be so goddamn wide open.
00:29:36.000 We have to give you money and then you do.
00:29:40.000 Especially if you're a guy like him.
00:29:42.000 How much money did that guy give them?
00:29:45.000 Roy Jones over the years in taxes?
00:29:47.000 Millions and millions and millions of dollars?
00:29:49.000 Millions.
00:29:50.000 He should have like, if it gets a certain number, he should be able to say, this is what we did with your money.
00:29:55.000 We went over it and we used all your millions to set up a base in Kosovo.
00:29:59.000 You actually set up a base over there.
00:30:01.000 That'd be really cool.
00:30:02.000 And people would be excited to know that shit too.
00:30:04.000 Yeah, like what did I get?
00:30:05.000 They really would be.
00:30:06.000 Well, if you think about like what Roy Jones spent or paid in taxes.
00:30:10.000 It's not done.
00:30:11.000 That's going to be your shit right there.
00:30:12.000 Yeah, this is the Tommy Segura stretch of the highway.
00:30:15.000 It's not done yet.
00:30:15.000 If you look at a guy like Roy Jones, how much do you think he made?
00:30:20.000 It had to be, I want to say $100 million.
00:30:23.000 I would say that's probably accurate.
00:30:26.000 Probably around there.
00:30:27.000 So, out of $100 million, let's get super crazy and say you have to pay 48%.
00:30:33.000 Because that's like the highest you can pay.
00:30:34.000 Without tax shelters and all that stuff that I'm sure a smart person would figure out or a good accountant.
00:30:39.000 So let's say he paid $48 million.
00:30:43.000 Let's just go nutty and use that as a number.
00:30:45.000 That's an insane amount of money.
00:30:47.000 Crazy.
00:30:48.000 48 million supports an army somewhere.
00:30:51.000 Yeah.
00:30:51.000 That's like, what did he, what country did they overthrow with Roy Jones shooting in money?
00:30:56.000 It's your shit.
00:30:57.000 That's your shit, Roy.
00:30:58.000 Roy, remember when you knocked out Virgil here with that body shot?
00:31:01.000 Bam.
00:31:02.000 That's your jet, son.
00:31:03.000 Missiles and shit of yours, Roy.
00:31:05.000 God damn it, really?
00:31:06.000 This is twice in one podcast.
00:31:09.000 That's powerful Duncan Trussell.
00:31:11.000 He doesn't obviously watch our podcast, motherfucker.
00:31:14.000 How dare you, Duncan?
00:31:15.000 You just got sent a voicemail, son.
00:31:17.000 Can I tell your listeners to come see me this weekend?
00:31:20.000 You could say where you're playing, but don't tell them to come see you.
00:31:24.000 That's just gross.
00:31:26.000 Oh, okay.
00:31:26.000 You could say if you would like to come see some comedy.
00:31:30.000 But if you're like, hey man.
00:31:31.000 I was meaning it like that, you know.
00:31:34.000 Hey man, if you like comedy and you live in the Orange County maybe area.
00:31:40.000 Where are you going to be this weekend?
00:31:41.000 At the Brea Improv.
00:31:43.000 Only three shows.
00:31:45.000 Only three shows.
00:31:46.000 Which ones?
00:31:47.000 Thursday.
00:31:47.000 And Friday night.
00:31:48.000 And two Friday night.
00:31:49.000 That's it.
00:31:50.000 Improv is a fucking phenomenal club.
00:31:52.000 Have fun there.
00:31:52.000 That's...
00:31:53.000 You know, if you live in that area, there's not a whole lot of shit going on other than the movies and there might be like a bowling alley or some shit.
00:31:59.000 Come see the G.O.D. Dodge and Coyotes.
00:32:02.000 But they do have the improv.
00:32:03.000 The improv is fucking...
00:32:05.000 It's a...
00:32:06.000 It's a great club, and every week they have top-level talent there.
00:32:10.000 If you look at the improv roster, if you go by there, what a great thing that is to have in your town.
00:32:16.000 One week, it's this guy.
00:32:17.000 The next week, it's Tommy Segura.
00:32:19.000 The next week, it's Ari.
00:32:20.000 Joey Diaz headlines the improvs now, too.
00:32:23.000 It's such a great thing to have in your town, and that Brea improv is one of my favorites.
00:32:27.000 It's the first club I ever worked.
00:32:29.000 Have you done sets there, Brian?
00:32:31.000 Mm-hmm.
00:32:32.000 It's a fun club.
00:32:33.000 That place is tremendous.
00:32:34.000 It's so good.
00:32:35.000 Joey was doing that Dirty Night there once a month, but I think he got a little too busy with all his little different side projects.
00:32:41.000 He's doing some Stip Camp.
00:32:42.000 Joey Diaz has a new podcast too, ladies and gentlemen, if you're big Joey Diaz's fans.
00:32:46.000 It's called The Church of What's Happening Now.
00:32:49.000 And it's on iTunes.
00:32:51.000 And it was like top four right away, of course.
00:32:54.000 Because Joey Diaz is one of the most fascinating human beings ever.
00:32:58.000 He's a monster.
00:32:58.000 We did Santa Barbara this weekend.
00:33:00.000 Holy shit, is that fucking fun.
00:33:02.000 Where did you do it there?
00:33:03.000 Oh, the Lobero Theater in Santa Barbara.
00:33:06.000 I think there's a lot of celebrities there.
00:33:07.000 A lot of celebrities, man, yeah.
00:33:09.000 So just a bunch of celebrities live out there, right?
00:33:11.000 Well, that's where we saw Carol Burnett.
00:33:12.000 But yeah, a lot of celebrities live out there.
00:33:14.000 It's beautiful.
00:33:15.000 The weather is not perfect.
00:33:18.000 It's gorgeous out.
00:33:20.000 People are nice.
00:33:21.000 It's like really nice houses, old houses.
00:33:23.000 Houses around from the 1920s and shit like that.
00:33:26.000 It's just a gorgeous, gorgeous...
00:33:29.000 Primo place to live, man.
00:33:30.000 Yeah, beautiful, beautiful place.
00:33:32.000 And the people seem like a little bit more chill there.
00:33:35.000 You know, here we're so trapped in this fucking nutty hive.
00:33:38.000 You know, it's so...
00:33:39.000 It's so crazy and fast that I think that shit gets away from you, man.
00:33:45.000 I think we're better off when there's just a little less people.
00:33:48.000 And Santa Barbara, man, fucking amazing, amazing club.
00:33:52.000 They need a train, a super train that goes from Santa Barbara to L.A. in like 10 minutes.
00:33:56.000 You know what?
00:33:57.000 You say that, bro.
00:33:57.000 But you know what Duncan and I did?
00:33:59.000 We made a podcast.
00:34:00.000 I'll give it to you today so we can upload it.
00:34:02.000 But we just said, you know what?
00:34:03.000 Let's just make a podcast.
00:34:04.000 So I clipped my iPhone to my BMW. It has one of those little cup holder things.
00:34:11.000 M3, ladies and gentlemen.
00:34:12.000 German engineering.
00:34:13.000 It has this little cup holder thing, and I clipped my phone to it, and we just did a podcast on my phone.
00:34:18.000 And it sounds great.
00:34:19.000 I mean, it doesn't sound like this, but it sounds like totally you can hear what we're saying.
00:34:23.000 And it's kind of cool.
00:34:24.000 That's right.
00:34:25.000 Because it's like our first podcast in a car.
00:34:28.000 That's nice.
00:34:29.000 Yeah, you do that.
00:34:29.000 You do that.
00:34:30.000 It's an hour drive.
00:34:31.000 So you go with a buddy.
00:34:32.000 Say if you're going to do a show in Santa Barbara.
00:34:34.000 And you need to start doing that, man.
00:34:37.000 Branch out.
00:34:38.000 You can do shows everywhere now.
00:34:39.000 You're at the point now.
00:34:41.000 Brian's coming with me to Sacramento.
00:34:43.000 Brian's at the point he could be a fucking professional stand-up comedian.
00:34:46.000 He's like right there.
00:34:47.000 You're right there.
00:34:48.000 If you just push a little right now, you're a professional comedian.
00:34:52.000 You can do that.
00:34:54.000 And you have a built-in audience.
00:34:55.000 You'd be crazy not to do it.
00:34:56.000 You really would be.
00:34:57.000 You would totally be crazy not to do it because you can do it.
00:34:59.000 You get laughs.
00:35:00.000 You have some funny shit, man.
00:35:03.000 I don't want to say the joke because it gives it away.
00:35:05.000 I love that joke.
00:35:06.000 That's a great joke, man.
00:35:08.000 If you just kept chopping away at it and did it all the time, you could go on tour.
00:35:15.000 We could promote your shows.
00:35:17.000 That's ultimately what I think would be awesome.
00:35:19.000 If everybody came in and we're promoting your shows, we're promoting your shows, we could all be doing shows all across the country.
00:35:26.000 Of course.
00:35:27.000 And use this as, like, sort of a platform.
00:35:29.000 Come here during the week.
00:35:30.000 Everybody fucks around.
00:35:31.000 Everybody goes and does their shit on the weekend.
00:35:33.000 Yeah, that'd be awesome.
00:35:34.000 But this, you know, this using the podcast to, you know, to work as, like, a promotional platform for stand-up comedy shows.
00:35:43.000 Yeah, it's awesome.
00:35:43.000 It's the greatest fucking thing ever.
00:35:45.000 It's awesome.
00:35:46.000 Because people really get to know you, Tommy Bunn.
00:35:48.000 They do.
00:35:48.000 It's not like you sit on a Tonight Show couch and you go, Tommy, I'm from Cleveland, huh?
00:35:53.000 What kind of comedy drive?
00:35:55.000 What kind of comedy drive?
00:35:56.000 My podcast is the most fun that I have doing anything.
00:36:00.000 It's cool that you do yours with your wife and you actually still like each other.
00:36:03.000 We love it, man.
00:36:04.000 We love each other.
00:36:04.000 We have the most fun.
00:36:06.000 You guys have a lot of fun.
00:36:06.000 It's the best poop podcast I've ever heard.
00:36:10.000 It's not just poop, guys.
00:36:12.000 No, but you were a guest.
00:36:13.000 You were a guest recently.
00:36:14.000 Yeah.
00:36:14.000 And we've got to get you to come.
00:36:15.000 I would love to.
00:36:16.000 I would love to.
00:36:17.000 I'm doing Duncan's tomorrow, but I'll do yours one day next week.
00:36:20.000 Okay.
00:36:21.000 That'd be great.
00:36:21.000 Next week I'm trying to get Rich Roll, who's the vegan activist.
00:36:27.000 Because people have been saying you've got to get vegans.
00:36:29.000 Yeah, sure.
00:36:29.000 But he's an athlete.
00:36:31.000 And I got Mac Danzig also, which is on Thursday, who's another vegan.
00:36:35.000 And a good friend of mine.
00:36:36.000 I had a vegan lunch today.
00:36:37.000 How about that?
00:36:38.000 So this is in response to vegans who are saying you need to get someone to do a counterpoint to Rob Wolf.
00:36:45.000 Because Rob Wolf, I had the Paleo Diet Guide, author of The Paleo Solution.
00:36:50.000 Coffee, bacon, and eggs.
00:36:52.000 He said, that's what you have for breakfast.
00:36:53.000 I was like, oh my god, I want to blow you.
00:36:55.000 I know.
00:36:57.000 I was like, I'm eating kale shakes every day, trying to stay healthy.
00:37:00.000 And this guy says, coffee, bacon, and eggs.
00:37:02.000 But I tried it, but I'm telling you, he's not correct.
00:37:06.000 You have this heavy feeling of like...
00:37:09.000 That's what the cigarette's for.
00:37:11.000 That's what the cigarette's for.
00:37:12.000 That's what the coffee is supposed to counteract.
00:37:14.000 But it can't fuck with kale shakes.
00:37:16.000 My morning kale shake is just, it's either that for me or hemp shakes.
00:37:20.000 That's all I drink in the morning.
00:37:22.000 And I have lots of energy, like plenty of energy during the day.
00:37:24.000 I think we have to be careful about how much stupid shit we put in our bodies.
00:37:29.000 And I would rather have no, like put nothing in there than stupid shit.
00:37:33.000 Not that bacon and eggs is necessarily stupid shit.
00:37:35.000 It's delicious shit.
00:37:36.000 It's delicious.
00:37:37.000 And I think your body processes fat and all that stuff.
00:37:39.000 It can process all those things.
00:37:40.000 It's all natural.
00:37:41.000 But it doesn't give you the same clean feeling as starting off with a vegetable shake.
00:37:48.000 So I'm going to have this guy.
00:37:50.000 We're going to talk to him.
00:37:50.000 That's cool.
00:37:51.000 That's cool.
00:37:52.000 Because he wanted to.
00:37:54.000 He expressed himself.
00:37:55.000 He wanted to explain what the fuck is wrong with all these crazy meat eaters.
00:37:59.000 We had Red Band on.
00:38:01.000 And we also, if you guys go to Your Mom's House podcast, if you check out mine, we also had Yoshi on tell the story of when he ate Joey's banana bread.
00:38:11.000 And it's fucking...
00:38:12.000 Yoshi has a bunch of crazy We're good to go.
00:38:38.000 Like, at a party.
00:38:40.000 Really?
00:38:41.000 And, like, tricked him in saying that that was acid.
00:38:44.000 And Jay Moore was, like, freaking out.
00:38:46.000 Like, that's some other comic told me, so I don't know if it's true or not.
00:38:49.000 A long time ago?
00:38:49.000 Yeah, like, a long time ago.
00:38:51.000 Yeah, you're gonna start another campaign.
00:38:52.000 So, I don't know if that's real.
00:38:53.000 Jay Moore's gonna be mad at you again.
00:38:56.000 But, supposedly, the story goes that Jay Moore was really freaking out.
00:39:00.000 But he was fucking with him, though.
00:39:01.000 Yeah, Joey Diaz was fucking with him the whole time.
00:39:03.000 It wasn't acid.
00:39:03.000 But, like, Jay Moore was freaking out because he was like, was that really acid?
00:39:06.000 Was that really acid?
00:39:07.000 You're like...
00:39:07.000 Well, that's like what we were talking about.
00:39:10.000 God, I don't remember what the phobia is.
00:39:14.000 I really wish I could remember the word.
00:39:17.000 Because I looked up the word that I thought it was, and that's not.
00:39:20.000 Allofrenia.
00:39:21.000 Allofrenia?
00:39:22.000 Is that right?
00:39:22.000 No.
00:39:23.000 Isn't that what I said already?
00:39:24.000 That's about the someone's crazy and you're around them kind of thing?
00:39:26.000 Yeah.
00:39:27.000 That thing, you know, I mean, it kind of makes sense that if someone starts treating you like you're crazy...
00:39:34.000 Yeah, that makes sense.
00:39:35.000 And you start to act in the behavior that they're conditioning you to act in.
00:39:43.000 You know what I mean?
00:39:43.000 I do it to most of my ex-girlfriends.
00:39:45.000 Is that what you do to them?
00:39:47.000 That's how you control them, right?
00:39:48.000 Get them crazy and then move them in and stick their penis inside of them until it doesn't feel good anymore.
00:39:55.000 And then blame everything on them.
00:39:58.000 And then what else is the move?
00:40:00.000 Get fat.
00:40:01.000 That's a good move.
00:40:02.000 That's how you get rid of them.
00:40:04.000 So anyway, I'm going to offer the vegan point of view because I think I shit on vegans enough and there's a lot of people that are probably right.
00:40:12.000 Why is it such a big deal?
00:40:13.000 Why can't people just eat meat and if you want to eat a little vegan?
00:40:15.000 I consider vegan like I'm eating Italian tonight.
00:40:17.000 Yeah, they don't though.
00:40:19.000 That's what's fascinating about it.
00:40:20.000 It's a lifestyle choice.
00:40:23.000 You're making a decision that you don't want to do anything that's going to harm the environment.
00:40:29.000 You don't want to do anything that's going to make your footprint larger.
00:40:33.000 It's kind of...
00:40:34.000 I mean, I see the point.
00:40:36.000 I just...
00:40:36.000 Someone's got to kill the animals.
00:40:38.000 You have to kill them.
00:40:40.000 Unless you're going to start sterilizing them at birth.
00:40:42.000 And then who the fuck are you to play doctor?
00:40:44.000 Yeah.
00:40:44.000 You can just chop off a deer's balls.
00:40:46.000 You got to kill them.
00:40:47.000 I'm going to bring fuga to chow that day.
00:40:50.000 I'm just going to eat their steak.
00:40:51.000 You little shit.
00:40:52.000 You son of a bitch.
00:40:53.000 And so you can...
00:40:54.000 Don't do that.
00:40:55.000 I wonder what the smell of burning meat is to a person who's a super hardcore vegan.
00:40:59.000 Probably nauseates them, I'm sure.
00:41:01.000 You know, they're not supposed to have honey.
00:41:03.000 Why not?
00:41:03.000 Because bees are sleeved.
00:41:04.000 Oh, fuck on that, man.
00:41:06.000 Fuck that shit.
00:41:08.000 That can go fuck itself.
00:41:10.000 I got ten minutes on vegans in my new hour.
00:41:15.000 Oh, you do?
00:41:15.000 It might be ten minutes.
00:41:16.000 That's great, man.
00:41:17.000 There's so much silliness.
00:41:19.000 It's almost like being a Mormon.
00:41:21.000 Being a vegan is right up there with being a Mormon.
00:41:24.000 It's like at the end of it, you're like, wait, wait, wait, wait, what?
00:41:26.000 Bees?
00:41:27.000 Bees?
00:41:27.000 Bees are slaves?
00:41:28.000 It seems so extreme, man.
00:41:30.000 And I saw a guy trying to encourage someone to be a vegan.
00:41:33.000 Hey, don't worry about that, man.
00:41:35.000 Don't let honey stop you from being a vegan.
00:41:37.000 I mean, hey, I don't use it, but don't let that stop you.
00:41:41.000 Oh, I don't use it.
00:41:42.000 I'm super ultra-perfect vegan, man.
00:41:45.000 I don't use the honey.
00:41:47.000 That honey, man, means bees have souls, man.
00:41:50.000 Why put them to work?
00:41:52.000 Go fuck your mother.
00:41:54.000 Why steal their work, man?
00:41:56.000 I mean, how's that any different than what you accused Carlos Mencia of doing, man?
00:42:01.000 They're just taking the honey from these bees.
00:42:04.000 Shut your fucking stupid face.
00:42:06.000 Stupid hole.
00:42:07.000 You're a fucking asshole.
00:42:09.000 You're telling me that we can't figure out honey?
00:42:11.000 Honey is delicious.
00:42:12.000 Yeah, honey is awesome.
00:42:13.000 We don't have to make it.
00:42:14.000 These dumb cunt insects make it.
00:42:16.000 And we steal it from them.
00:42:18.000 And the way we steal it from them is with smoke.
00:42:20.000 These fucking stupid assholes.
00:42:22.000 You blow smoke on them and you scoop them up with a kitty litter shovel.
00:42:26.000 And you put them in a box and you close the stupid box and they buzz around for a little while.
00:42:30.000 And then you take all their fucking honey and you hack off those little babies that are growing in there.
00:42:36.000 You get the fuck out of here.
00:42:38.000 Those little embryos that are in there.
00:42:39.000 Cut all that shit out.
00:42:40.000 That's not necessary.
00:42:41.000 Just get me to that honey spot.
00:42:43.000 This bear likes honey.
00:42:44.000 Is all the embryos and the honey all together in the same thing?
00:42:48.000 I think so.
00:42:49.000 I don't know.
00:42:50.000 They're fascinating.
00:42:52.000 When I was a kid and I would find a beehive on the ground, did you do that and open them up?
00:42:57.000 Yeah.
00:42:57.000 How weird was that when you see them in the little shuttle?
00:43:00.000 Mm-hmm.
00:43:00.000 The little fucking...
00:43:03.000 They're just like the alien.
00:43:05.000 They're just really tiny.
00:43:06.000 They're miniature aliens.
00:43:08.000 Especially if you watch them fuck up other insects.
00:43:11.000 Especially wasps.
00:43:13.000 There's a crazy documentary where it details this one wasp attack where they came in and killed these honeybees.
00:43:21.000 And it was an enormous wasp.
00:43:23.000 They were way bigger than the honeybees.
00:43:25.000 And it just comes in and just starts cutting the heads off the honeybees.
00:43:30.000 And this one swarm, this like thousand fucking honeybee colony was killed by like 30 of these wasps.
00:43:38.000 And it is fucking tough to watch, man.
00:43:41.000 I mean, it's just like, what would we do if these things were our size?
00:43:45.000 You wouldn't do jack shit.
00:43:46.000 I had wasps.
00:43:47.000 I walked into a wasp nest one time, like where one was, and they just fucking...
00:43:51.000 It stayed in my arm.
00:43:53.000 It keeps fucking you and stabbing you.
00:43:56.000 The thing about bees, too, I found out the queen has a stinger.
00:44:00.000 you know the queen bee has a stinger but she only uses it to kill queens oh really yeah they use it to kill virgin queens when you when you find a new queen like when someone's getting together and putting together a new queen you gotta jack that bitch or she'll come to take your spot because there can only be like one queen in the nest so they don't use it just on um on queens when they're out they'll fuck up queen embryos they'll fuck up what are they what are they called what I didn't know that.
00:44:28.000 What is a fetus?
00:44:29.000 What is the term for an insect fetus?
00:44:32.000 Any idea, Brian?
00:44:33.000 It's not an embryo, right?
00:44:35.000 No.
00:44:35.000 Whatever the fuck it is.
00:44:36.000 The infant thing inside the honeycomb, they stab them in the side.
00:44:41.000 And that's how they know when they've been attacked by another queen.
00:44:45.000 Like, she knows there's a hooker in that box.
00:44:47.000 She just stabs it with her ass.
00:44:50.000 So that's what their stingers are for.
00:44:53.000 Their stinger is not a stinger that injects venom.
00:44:55.000 It's just a sword to kill the babies.
00:44:58.000 we're so lucky they're little We're so lucky they're little.
00:45:04.000 If they were huge?
00:45:05.000 Evil fucking cunts.
00:45:08.000 Fuck bees.
00:45:10.000 We need to figure out a way to get honey through little robots.
00:45:14.000 Little tiny ass robot bees.
00:45:16.000 We should make drones that look like bees that make honey.
00:45:19.000 And how about we make drones that just look like bees, except they're way stronger and harder, and they come in and fuck all the bees in front of their boyfriends.
00:45:27.000 Can you imagine a bee like this size?
00:45:28.000 Robot bees with giant robot bee dicks.
00:45:31.000 Like dogs, like a small dog-sized bee?
00:45:33.000 Oh, fuck that.
00:45:34.000 We would have to have shotguns and fly swatters everywhere.
00:45:37.000 Big mace fly swatters.
00:45:40.000 And if they did stab you, it just goes through your back.
00:45:43.000 You'd be fucked.
00:45:43.000 You'd be fucked.
00:45:44.000 Yeah, one the size of a softball would kill you.
00:45:48.000 Oh, yeah.
00:45:48.000 Just fuck your day off.
00:45:50.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:45:50.000 I mean, imagine, disembowel you from the fucking...
00:45:53.000 Eat you alive.
00:45:54.000 Oh, shit, man.
00:45:55.000 Make babies in your body.
00:45:57.000 That's a movie.
00:45:57.000 I want to fucking see that movie.
00:45:59.000 Tommy Bonds, you're the best.
00:46:00.000 Thanks for having me.
00:46:01.000 Thanks for being on.
00:46:01.000 Anytime, man.
00:46:02.000 I was glad to do you.
00:46:06.000 In a non-sexual way.
00:46:08.000 I was thinking that, you know, man, when was the last time we did a podcast with Tommy Bunce?
00:46:11.000 I want to have you on soon, and I also want to come back because I have a new album coming out.
00:46:16.000 When are you, what are you doing tomorrow night?
00:46:19.000 Tomorrow night.
00:46:20.000 What is tomorrow?
00:46:20.000 Wednesday night.
00:46:22.000 You want to do the Ice House with us?
00:46:23.000 Sure.
00:46:24.000 Done, ladies and gentlemen!
00:46:26.000 So now, tomorrow night at the Ice House, it is Joey Diaz, it is Brian Callen, it is Duncan Trussell, and it's Tommy motherfucking Buns!
00:46:36.000 And I believe Brian Redband will be coming down to actually smoke the peace pipe with Duncan Trussell.
00:46:42.000 It should be an epic Death Squad event, ladies and gentlemen.
00:46:45.000 So come on down.
00:46:46.000 And if you want to look fashionable when you're there, you're going to want to buy a Death Squad t-shirt.
00:46:51.000 And you go to Death Squad.tv.
00:46:53.000 And what does this money go to?
00:46:55.000 Well, money all goes to support the Death Squad Podcast Network, which is on iTunes.
00:46:59.000 If you go, there's a bunch of different podcasts there.
00:47:02.000 There is the Ice House Chronicles that we do at the Ice House, which is one of my favorite podcasts of all time because it's us.
00:47:09.000 It's all of the guys who are in town that come by to do shows.
00:47:13.000 Doug Stanhope's been on, Tom Rhodes.
00:47:15.000 Tom Segura's on at Friday.
00:47:16.000 Tom Segura's been on, Ian Edwards.
00:47:19.000 So many funny comedians.
00:47:21.000 And, of course, Ari and Joey.
00:47:23.000 And we put on these once a week, twice a week sometimes.
00:47:27.000 And it's like really some of the most fun shit that we do.
00:47:30.000 We get to fuck around and we get to loosen up before we go on stage and make a podcast at the same time and make each other laugh.
00:47:39.000 And then we've been doing these shows at the Ice House that are literally some of the funnest shows that I've ever done in my life.
00:47:44.000 And the club couldn't have been cooler.
00:47:46.000 It couldn't be a more positive karma space.
00:47:50.000 The Ice House has been around since 1961 or something crazy like that.
00:47:55.000 It's an old fucking club.
00:47:57.000 You stand in the room, the comedy room, when the doors are closed and the lights are off, and that place is...
00:48:05.000 It's buzzing still.
00:48:07.000 It's got energy from like 50 fucking years of comedy in that place.
00:48:11.000 That's an unusual place.
00:48:13.000 Yeah, and I love that fucking second stage room too.
00:48:16.000 They're both awesome.
00:48:17.000 The little room's awesome.
00:48:18.000 The little room might be the best little room in the country.
00:48:21.000 It's super small, it's tight-knit, but they're all like right there and there's two tiers, which is really rare in a small room.
00:48:27.000 That little room's amazing.
00:48:28.000 And this might be one of the best rooms ever for coming up with new shit.
00:48:31.000 For just fucking around and coming up with new material.
00:48:34.000 Absolutely.
00:48:35.000 Which we'll be doing Wednesday night, ladies and gentlemen, with Joey Diaz, a.k.a.
00:48:38.000 Madfly.
00:48:38.000 You gonna come, bitch?
00:48:39.000 Maybe.
00:48:40.000 I'm feeling pretty shitty right now.
00:48:43.000 I think I was at the dentist and all my medicine is worn off, so now I think I have this migraine or something going on now.
00:48:49.000 What do they have to drill?
00:48:51.000 My skin plant came undone.
00:48:55.000 Ouch.
00:48:56.000 Were you going on a cob or something?
00:48:58.000 No.
00:48:58.000 Chewing gum.
00:48:59.000 Chewing gum?
00:49:00.000 Really?
00:49:01.000 Do they tell you not to?
00:49:02.000 Tommy, why don't you go pee?
00:49:03.000 Where can people go see you?
00:49:05.000 Where are you at this weekend?
00:49:06.000 Brea Improv.
00:49:07.000 Powerful Brea Improv.
00:49:08.000 Just Thursday and Friday.
00:49:09.000 Thursday and Friday.
00:49:10.000 Tommy Bones.
00:49:10.000 If you go to TomSegura.com, it has all my, the list thing, I can send you notifications.
00:49:18.000 TomSegura.com.
00:49:20.000 And you can follow Tom on Twitter also.
00:49:22.000 S-E-G-U-R-A. You dirty bitches.
00:49:26.000 And your shirt.
00:49:27.000 Thank you.
00:49:27.000 Your mom's house podcast.
00:49:29.000 Your mom's house podcast.
00:49:29.000 Yeah.
00:49:30.000 The new Top Dog shirt.
00:49:31.000 I love it.
00:49:32.000 Come check it out.
00:49:32.000 Great design.
00:49:33.000 So tomorrow I will be doing the Duncan Trussell Family Hour, so no Joe Rogan Experience podcast.
00:49:40.000 And then Thursday I'll be back with Mac Danzig, so that should be a lot of fun.
00:49:44.000 And Wednesday night we are at the Ice House, and this Friday night I'm in Sacramento with Brian and Sam Tripoli.
00:49:55.000 Hottest girls in this city.
00:49:56.000 And it's sold out, so go fuck yourself.
00:50:01.000 I love you.
00:50:02.000 Is there a UFC or anything?
00:50:03.000 No, no, no.
00:50:04.000 Just one in and out.
00:50:05.000 Yeah, just one.
00:50:07.000 I just decided to drop into...
00:50:10.000 I never get down to Sacramento.
00:50:12.000 It's a cool city, but I'm hardly ever there.
00:50:17.000 I don't remember what the name of the place is.
00:50:19.000 It's like the Crest Theater or something.
00:50:21.000 Yeah, the Crest Theater.
00:50:23.000 I heard it's a really nice theater.
00:50:24.000 Well, we'll find out.
00:50:26.000 And then next week, the week after that, is Toronto at Massey Hall.
00:50:32.000 And I understand that there's some ridiculous scalping going on and that people are telling me that the tickets are like $300.
00:50:40.000 I heard something weird the other day.
00:50:41.000 About one of your shows that was cancelled, and they charged a ridiculous amount of money extra for some reason, and then when the show got cancelled, they didn't get the whole amount back.
00:50:54.000 Really?
00:50:55.000 Where'd you hear this?
00:50:56.000 Fuck, who told me this?
00:50:57.000 Somebody in Columbus, Ohio, it was...
00:51:00.000 One of the guys from...
00:51:01.000 So there's like a cancellation fee or something like that?
00:51:03.000 Yeah.
00:51:04.000 Even though it wasn't their...
00:51:05.000 They didn't cancel?
00:51:06.000 Right.
00:51:06.000 The venue canceled?
00:51:07.000 Right.
00:51:07.000 And they say...
00:51:08.000 And it was like something like...
00:51:09.000 This guy's like out a lot of money.
00:51:11.000 I need to find out what the...
00:51:13.000 That might be not correct or correct.
00:51:15.000 I don't know.
00:51:15.000 We'll have to find out.
00:51:16.000 But anyway, folks, listen, thank you very much for everything.
00:51:20.000 You guys are the fucking coolest human beings we've ever come in contact with.
00:51:24.000 You know, we talk about it all the time.
00:51:26.000 I mean, Aubrey talks about it when he deals with customers at Onnit, and we talk about it when we do these comedy shows.
00:51:35.000 We're lucky as fuck, man.
00:51:37.000 Just whatever we're sending out there, the fact that you guys are picking it up in such a positive way and responding in such a positive way.
00:51:45.000 I mean, there's no way to say this without sounding super corny, but it's enriched the fuck out of all of our lives.
00:51:50.000 It's made us feel like we're really connected to something that can really help and change the way people feel.
00:51:56.000 And don't think we think that is in any small way...
00:52:04.000 I just don't think that we ever take it for granted.
00:52:07.000 It's a weird thing to talk about it because it's a very strange situation to find yourself in when we just started doing this podcast just fucking around and thinking we're just going to talk shit and put it on the internet and maybe people would giggle.
00:52:23.000 And then having people come up to me everywhere I go telling me now I've lost 50 pounds, I started doing jujitsu, I changed my life, started reading The War of Art.
00:52:30.000 I didn't shoot myself.
00:52:31.000 We hear that all the time.
00:52:32.000 That's the scary one.
00:52:33.000 That's the scary one.
00:52:34.000 It's one of the scary ones.
00:52:35.000 And people said they don't have anybody like us near them.
00:52:40.000 And it's not that they don't think like us.
00:52:41.000 They think just like us.
00:52:43.000 They're free thinkers.
00:52:44.000 They're open-minded.
00:52:45.000 They're trying to be nice to people.
00:52:47.000 It's just sometimes we are defined by our environment.
00:52:51.000 But no long, you fucks.
00:52:52.000 Now we're all connected by this crazy thing.
00:52:55.000 And this podcast is a big part of it for us.
00:52:58.000 And we know that it's a big part of it for you.
00:53:00.000 And we don't take that for granted in any way.
00:53:02.000 We love the fuck out of you guys.
00:53:03.000 So thank you very much.
00:53:04.000 Thanks for all the positive vibes, all the positive tweets, all that good shit.
00:53:07.000 And I'll see you guys on Thursday.
00:53:10.000 Alright, hollow!