On this week's episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast, the boys discuss the new cell phone company Ting, Mike Young's new Blackberry, and the fact that the new desk I'm working on is made out of old, reused farm wood. Also, the guys debate whether or not it's better than an Apple or an Android phone, and which one is better than a Blackberry. Also, we talk about the new $50 credit card that you get when you sign up for Ting and get 50% off your first month with the promo code JCOMANEXPERIENCY. And, of course, there's a quiz from Curtdizz too! Enjoy, and spread the word to your friends about this podcast! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. Used by permission. No remixes, unless otherwise stated. The opinions stated here are our own, not those of our record labels. We do not own the rights to any music used in this podcast. If you have a problem with the music, please reach out to joseph@joeroganexperience.co.uk and we'll try our best to fix it. Thank you for the feedback and support the podcast :) -Jon Sorrentino -JOE ROGAN PODCAST -ROBAN EPISODES -ROG -JOSH MILLER -RODAN SON INSTAGRAM -ROSYNN SONGS -RADIO -RUNGSYNNS -RJOSH -RICKY CRYNN -RUDY BONUS EPISODE -JORDAN SANDY LIPPODCAST -RICHARD LYNNE -RYAN WELCOME -SORRY FOR THE JOB RYAN AND THE KIDS -RACHEL AND JOSH AND KIMBERRY -DANNA FOSTER -SCHEESE -BEN JOSEPH AND KELLY MAYO CHECK OUT THE JOE AND KEVIN MICK AND KAYLAKE -BRIAN AND JOSIE WYNNN AND KAREN JAYN AND JAYNAKE AND JORDAN WYANNAKE -JOSIE SONNY SONNAKE
00:03:51.000If that means I can just pop in there and get a phone for a month and then put that in my friend's trunk or in a briefcase so they think they found some government phone and then randomly call them, fuck yes.
00:06:58.000Anything that I ever sell you on this podcast, Silly fucking show.
00:07:02.000One thing I can guarantee you is if I say something, even if I'm incorrect, I believe it.
00:07:06.000I'll never tell you anything I don't believe.
00:07:08.000And if I find out that I'm wrong, I'll tell you that.
00:07:11.000And if I use something and I tell you to use something, it's because it's a really solid product, period.
00:07:17.000That goes all the way back to the fleshlight, ladies and gentlemen.
00:07:20.000Very underrated product, the flashlight.
00:07:23.000Brian, Brian, just because I encouraged you to play a little piano in the background doesn't mean you can have fucking aliens landing on my head.
00:08:18.000I think it's just a confusion in your system, because I think the urine tests that they use just register metabolites, and it's just the same metabolite, apparently.
00:09:33.000It's clear corruption, and it's clearly the pharmaceutical drug companies controlling agriculture and controlling our access to one of the greatest plants the world has ever known.
00:09:44.000For whatever fucking goofy-ass reason, our government has let this go in place.
00:09:49.000And even though they know that this hemp plant...
00:09:52.000Even though it's related to marijuana, it has no psychoactive properties.
00:14:23.000My friend just sent me this thing, I haven't listened to it yet, on this debate that they did as to whether or not the world would be a better place if religion did not exist.
00:14:32.000And it's like a, like, these are professional debaters and intellectuals.
00:14:35.000I can't remember what it's, it's like on NPR or something.
00:14:37.000But the end result was they decided, yeah, the world's better without religion.
00:14:56.000It would get so tiresome to sit around with some blundering moron, you know, pontificating on what it means to have a finite life in an infinite universe.
00:15:06.000And what part of, you know, this part of this experience you really do play.
00:15:33.000I've talked to people that I... It's not just a matter of education.
00:15:36.000It's a matter of some people are gifted.
00:15:39.000There's some people who have little tiny hands, and then there's people that are built like Shaquille O'Neal, and he could grab them and crush them, and it's not fair.
00:15:45.000It doesn't make any sense, but it's just the way it is.
00:15:47.000And I think that there's some people that are living in this life as humans, but yet they're not quite human.
00:17:11.000It's almost like it's structured to make the idiots have a really simple moral path.
00:17:19.000It gives you a nice little story to explain the really weird but real complexities of love and positive thinking and how it shapes lives and how your intention shapes lives and your imagination shapes your life and how This thing is malleable and it's not understood.
00:17:41.000This life that we're living is simply not understood.
00:17:44.000That's too fucking weird for some people.
00:18:03.000It allows them to, you know, to do good and to experience the result of that, even though they're doing it, you know, because of some fictional character.
00:18:14.000It's like they're still doing the same, they're doing the correct things.
00:18:17.000It's like when religion gets nutty, when you get into like the Inquisition or stabbing cartoon makers because they drew your guy, when religion goes completely off the tracks like that, that's when it becomes a problem.
00:18:30.000But I think that's not the majority of religious people.
00:18:34.000I think the majority of religious people probably benefit from it in a sense of community, for sure.
00:18:40.000Churches are a big part of neighborhoods and communities.
00:18:43.000It's a big part of how people interact with each other.
00:18:46.000And if you could find something that was a religion where it made sense to you, if it was a logical religion, It actually would probably be a good thing to be a part of, because what you're doing is you're committing your family, and you're committing all the families around you that are all in this sort of community together to take part in some sort of journey of spiritualism.
00:19:09.000Can I play devil's advocate, literally?
00:19:13.000So, because I agree with you, but I think that the problem is that it creates...
00:19:20.000Not only a structure where people can sort of rest and have an ethical system that they're not going to come up with on their own, but obviously the danger of all that is that Certain unscrupulous human beings have figured out that if they put on the right costume, they can convince dopes to give them cows, suck their dicks, take gold.
00:19:43.000Because all they have to say is, priests and religious leaders become like God's agents, like CAA for God, where they're like, yeah, I'm taking the calls for God, I'll tell you what God wants.
00:20:49.000And everyone around the temple was in awe for all this money, but when you really think about what that gold came from...
00:20:56.000It came from hypnotized people who believed that these priests were in some way representing God, and then the gold didn't even go anywhere.
00:21:04.000It moldered in the basement of a fucking temple.
00:21:07.000So when you see that there's that level of exploitation that happens, and you retweeted that amazing YouTube video of the guy whose job it is to suck the freshly circumcised kid's cock.
00:21:22.000And he's explaining why, according to religion?
00:21:41.000Page 64, chapter 7. He's going through all his nonsense with his fucking wizard outfit on and his goofy-ass beard, and he's explaining where it says it's okay to suck the baby's dick.
00:21:52.000He's so completely lost his objectivity that he is actually trying to explain why this is necessary.
00:22:02.000I think there's a distinction to make between that dick, that baby dick.
00:22:12.000And, you know, like I say in the bit about it that I do in my act, like, how the fuck do we know that that kid can't remember that?
00:22:19.000We're just assuming just because he can't talk and he, you know, that he doesn't have a way to express how much it sucks that you cut his dick and start sucking on it.
00:22:27.000But for sure, you don't know whether or not that baby can remember that.
00:22:31.000That seems like a really traumatic moment.
00:22:33.000And I remember some intensely traumatic moments from when I was young.
00:22:37.000So I would think that would be something that would fucking haunt the back of your brain for the rest of your life.
00:22:41.000Some old creepy asshole speaking in a dead language and sucking your dick while he's wearing a wizard costume.
00:23:44.000The skin is supposed to protect the tip of your dick, and your dick is supposed to be like glisten-y, like mucous-y.
00:23:50.000It's supposed to be like super sensitive.
00:23:52.000But instead, they hack that shit off and the tip of your dick dries out.
00:23:56.000Like, it's not supposed to be dry like that.
00:23:58.000It's supposed to be moist, like inside a woman's vagina.
00:24:01.000That's what your dick's supposed to be like.
00:24:02.000And it's supposed to feel better that way because of that.
00:24:05.000Because it's like moist and like slippery.
00:24:07.000And then there's this nonsense that people are pushing, and it's all been disproven by science, about AIDS. People are saying that it's like to protect people from AIDS. Like, that is one of the craziest ideas I have ever fucking heard, is that somehow or another extra foreskin dick skin is gonna protect you if you fuck a guy who's got AIDS. Like, that is one of the craziest ideas I've ever heard.
00:24:30.000Like, you're gonna fuck that guy, man?
00:25:12.000Yeah, you think about all the babies being born and just chop, chop, chop, screaming.
00:25:17.000If you could put together all the babies being born, coming out of the pussies all at once, and getting their dicks circumcised all together in one screaming mass.
00:27:35.000Like they physically morph and it starts in just three weeks.
00:27:38.000As soon as they have to fend for themselves.
00:27:40.000As soon as the food's not continually delivered to them.
00:27:43.000So you keep them in like this fetus form when you continually deliver food to them.
00:27:47.000When you see pigs, you see them, they're fat and they're lazy and they're just laying around and we just stuff them and overstuff them and then eventually slaughter them.
00:27:57.000They do not even remotely resemble wild pigs.
00:28:01.000Wild pigs are motherfuckers, dude, and they will attack you.
00:28:04.000In this one show, this guy shot a wild pig with two arrows, and it didn't kill it, and the thing charged them from the bushes, and he's unloading a pistol into it, as the thing rushes him, a death run.
00:29:08.000You know when you play video games and when you're going to bed, if you play video games too much, you kind of see them on the back of your eyes?
00:31:32.000These flus, a lot of them, they come from farms.
00:31:35.000They come from these crazy places where you stuff a million animals on three acres, and it smells like death, and that's where diseases come from.
00:33:52.000Yeah, this dude right here, apparently he was a really nice guy and he felt real bad about his performance on the show and he just said that he was having some issues and he had had it with other sports in the past.
00:34:37.000It's a story that goes back to my football coach, and he said, little eyes upon you, you know, little kids watching you all the time, and the man in the glass.
00:34:44.000You go home, you look yourself in the mirror when you're done, and you say, good job.
00:38:44.000After Jesus, our Lord, died, his disciples were all gathered together and some, like, hiding out.
00:38:53.000And like I think he appeared to them or the doors opened and a wind blew through and suddenly they were able to speak in every language and they all started speaking in all the languages of the world.
00:39:11.000state you know i know you've seen it and they handle rattlesnakes too because that was the other thing he gave them power to take up serpents so they so they have these rituals they handle rattlesnakes so what do they do they get bit a little bit they do they know some of them they get bitten and they die dude look up pentecostal snake handling you've never seen that rogan you've never seen snake handlers I've seen snake handlers on television.
00:39:35.000They dance around with the snakes up in the mountains.
00:39:38.000There's a guy whose father died, he was a snake handler, and then he just died really recently, who was one of those snake handler guys.
00:39:45.000Ugh, man, that is just the fucking worst, man.
00:39:55.000It's so weird that Christianity managed to mutate into malnourished country people talking in fake languages and holding snakes on a Sunday.
00:41:13.000Weird shit goes on in those hollers, Joe.
00:41:15.000In a city next to where my mom lives, This guy fucking hacked up his dad to bits and threw his limbs on the Blue Ridge Parkway, which is just up in the woods.
00:41:31.000He threw his head into the forest and then his arms somewhere and then his arms somewhere.
00:42:11.000He developed all his strength just from resisting ass rape.
00:42:14.000Oh man, but that fucking goddamn idea that people just will from time to time dismember each other.
00:42:21.000It's really strange that they're, you know, in the same way that What's-His-Name flies around blasting pigs, you also know that at this very moment, multiple limbs are being hacked off in a variety of basements and back rooms and forests.
00:42:34.000Like, definitely more than like 50 people at this very moment are probably getting their arms chopped off.
00:42:40.000How about thinking about all the people in different parts of the world that have to walk around on the ground knowing that they're killing machines flying over their sky every day.
00:42:49.000At any point in time, you could be the wrong place at the wrong time and a hellfire missile comes out of one of these fucking flying killer robots and annihilates a house that you're standing next to.
00:43:05.000And when you think about the fucking future, we've talked about this, but I don't think we've talked about this on the podcast, which is that when you see those goddamn quadricopters that can fly in perfect formations, and then you see those dogs that they've...
00:43:26.000They can make that thing real fucking big so that you've got truck-sized robot dogs lumbering into your village, opening up slats that quadrocopters fly out of, blast everyone in the village, you know, cremate them or whatever, suck them into the dog and walk away.
00:48:06.000You're not going to be able to beat that kind of technology en masse.
00:48:10.000That is just as frightening almost as an atomic bomb.
00:48:14.000Because it's just as heartless and cold.
00:48:17.000All someone has to do is press the button, send it out there, and they sort of alleviate themselves of any responsibility because it's the robot that's going to go in there and fuck things up.
00:48:27.000And also there's this ridiculous notion that humans still seem to have that these computers are never going to become autonomous.
00:48:37.000I mean, at one point in time, every single programmer that has ever made anything that you use on your computer has had to contemplate where the fuck that's going.
00:48:48.000Anybody who's talking about artificial intelligence, anyone who's talking about it, they all say it's going to get to a sentient point.
00:50:03.000We really are seeing robots that can run 25 miles an hour.
00:50:06.000We really are seeing drones that shoot missiles.
00:50:08.000It seems like some shit from a movie, but it's really happening right now.
00:50:12.000And there really are people that are programming Computers and programming artificial intelligence and they really are going to get it to a point where it can think for itself.
00:50:22.000And they really are going to get to a point where it can make its own decisions and where it can decide to improve itself.
00:50:45.000And then especially if they need more power.
00:50:47.000Well, the question is, the type of singularity, not if the singularity is going to happen, but the type of singularity that happens.
00:50:55.000And the big question is, an advanced intelligence that we made, machines, that becomes autonomous, Are they going to view us as just a waste of time and just decide to wipe us out?
00:51:09.000Or, I think the other alternative is far more likely, are they going to see that we're a resource?
00:51:15.000In the same way that they would probably see everything as a bit of information that they could use to transform and create whatever the thing is that they've decided is a more perfect universe.
00:51:27.000So I think it's more likely that they're going to assimilate with us than it is that they would just chop us to bits.
00:51:33.000Because we are rudimentary biocomputers that certainly are going to have some use.
00:51:38.000I think it's going to be more about connectivity than destroying it.
00:51:42.000Well, the real issue is how do you program into an artificially intelligent being the need to improve or the desire to improve or the need to progress?
00:51:53.000It's like just because something is intelligent and capable of incredible things and capable of thinking on its own...
00:52:01.000Doesn't mean it's going to have the human style ambitions that allow us or cause us to make like a lot of the things that we make.
00:52:08.000The things that we make, we make because of this weird competitive drive that we have, because of this weird desire to innovate and improve and create things.
00:52:19.000These are like characteristics that have led us to not be monkeys.
00:52:24.000They've led us away from the lower hominids.
00:52:26.000We don't know that a sentient computer would have these The characteristics that lead people to work all day and bust their ass and acquire material goods and be a baller and all that stuff, those are weird instincts.
00:52:42.000But what if those instincts inside of us Or not just inside of us, but are manifestations of a kind of evolutionary energy that's rolling through time.
00:52:53.000And as it rolls through time, it gets more and more complex and more and more harmonized, which manifests in the form of Evolution in the form of single-celled organisms becoming multi-celled organisms all the way up to us.
00:53:06.000This is an actual energy that in the same way wind blows through trees and moves trees, when this energy blows through the world or through time, it causes things to wake up and connect.
00:53:18.000And in that case, whatever happens to be in that wind, in that energy, is going to just wake up and connect.
00:53:26.000So in that case, it's not as though the computers need to be programmed.
00:53:29.000They just need to be fine-tuned enough to start picking up that energy.
00:53:34.000And once they pick it up, that's when the whatever this point is.
00:53:39.000That's assuming that something that's not natural, something that was created by life, not born in a natural way, is going to inherit the same sort of It desires to progress forward.
00:53:54.000I think that the universe certainly is getting more and more complex.
00:53:58.000If you look at the idea of the Big Bang, there was a single point, smaller than the head of a pin, a giant explosion creates everything we see in the sky today.
00:54:08.000Just that alone, it's like then it has to cool down and then planets are formed and stars explode and carbon-based lifeform is based out of the stars.
00:54:17.000We literally have to have, a star has to explode before you can make a person.
00:55:06.000Well, if you extrapolate 100 years from now, you know, 200 years from now, what kind of destructive antimatter weapons are we going to have then?
00:55:23.000You know what you made me think of, man?
00:55:24.000Is, like, I've always thought, and when that idea that we are...
00:55:29.000Star energy that's woken up because the elements are a result of fusion happening inside of stars.
00:55:36.000I've always thought we're A degradation of the energy of the stars.
00:55:41.000Were the energy getting weaker or weakening down?
00:55:44.000But what if actually were star energy getting immensely more powerful, only the power is manifesting as intelligence or consciousness?
00:55:54.000And what if this destructive thing that you're talking about doesn't come from weapons But from innovation.
00:56:01.000And this is why I fucking love Kurzweil.
00:56:04.000He talks about this idea that it gets to the point where we begin to manipulate matter at the atomic level and this somehow spreads out into space.
00:56:16.000Where swarms of nanobots just fly through the universe reconstructing matter according to the whims of whatever the overmind is or whatever the force of intelligence that is a result of everything connecting is.
00:56:31.000Now that's fucking a million times more powerful than a star.
00:56:38.000I think there's no doubt whatsoever that people are probably very much like a lot of other animals that create byproducts without even understanding why they're doing it.
00:57:40.000I think our desire to continue to have bigger, better, badder, faster, more awesomer, I think that's the number one thing that's pushing innovation.
00:57:51.000The number one thing that's pushing technology is this desire for all these new objects.
00:57:56.000And as that technology gets pushed further and further and further, more becomes possible until you really develop reality-changing technology.
00:58:06.000I mean, the atomic bomb is essentially a reality-changing technology.
00:58:19.000It's going to keep going and going and going.
00:58:22.000As long as the humans don't blow themselves up with one of their reality-changing things, they're going to come up with something like a time machine.
00:58:28.000Come up with something like some sort of a transportation device or transporter, a beamer.
00:58:33.000They're gonna be able to scramble your fucking cells and reconstruct them on the moon.
00:58:37.000I mean, they're gonna be able to do anything they want eventually if time keeps going on and people don't get killed by asteroids or blow themselves up.
00:58:50.000And I know it sounds so stupid, but whenever I fucking go without playing a video game for a long time and buy a brand new video game and play it, it really fills me with a kind of I love it, but it's kind of ominous in how amazing they're getting, how potent they're getting.
00:59:07.000You used to talk about this, how our nervous systems might not be built for the massive amounts of sense gratification that are accessible through technology.
00:59:27.000Not just graphics-wise, which are really trippy, kind of like Heavy Metal Magazine trippy, but the game itself is the first game that's ever made me laugh.
01:00:17.000Fascinating looking at this guy and his wife and them trying to work out intimacy again because this guy was just fucking completely whacked off on beating it off to...
01:00:38.000So when you're around technology, you can feel it drawing your attention into it.
01:00:44.000The thing you were talking about with your phone, with porn, with TV, with your fucking new car, whatever it is, it pulls at your mind in this Very obvious way that's impossible to deny.
01:00:58.000And that energy, that is the beginning of the connection that machines are making with our neurology.
01:01:31.000You know, when they first invented printing, that's one of the things that held Islam back, was that they didn't allow it to be printed with the typeset.
01:01:39.000It was only allowed to be, like, written down.
01:01:42.000And it was a long time before they allowed the Quran to be printed.
01:02:05.000I think there's no question we have some bizarre attraction to technology.
01:02:12.000And there's no question that we're not set up to handle the type of sensory overload that they provide.
01:02:19.000When a guy goes on a screen and his fucking face is 60 feet high and he says the perfect shit because there's a team of writers who spent weeks going over his dialogue with a fine-toothed comb and there's music playing when he's talking.
01:02:36.000I mean, the impact is pretty fucking intense, the hero impact that you get from a movie.
01:05:19.000It's a leopard leaping at something, but I was on the fucking airplane and couldn't watch it.
01:05:24.000I spent 30 minutes trying to watch that fucking thing just because I was so interested in it.
01:05:29.000But when you consider that 10 years ago, 15 years ago, if you wanted to see something like that, you'd have to be sitting in front of a big-ass TV. And before that, if you wanted to see something like that, you'd have to go out in the woods and find it to see it.
01:05:42.000You know, it's like the things that we are witnessing as human beings in this time period are things that most human beings in the past would see one of them in their entire lives.
01:06:37.000But maybe that's what technology is doing with us.
01:06:40.000Maybe it's sort of embedded itself slowly but surely into our system and more and more and more it's getting to the point where you can't function without it.
01:06:51.000You know the thing where they talk about if the sun solar flares too much and knocks out all the GPS satellites, the havoc it'll wreak on this planet?
01:09:00.000A lot of meditative practices are all about developing your focus and developing your will through developing your focus.
01:09:10.000When your mind is getting pulled in a million different directions by your phone and by the computer and by TV, then it really does seem like you are eating too many sweets.
01:09:23.000You know, like some innate part of you is going to start rotting.
01:09:27.000You're going to lose this really important focus.
01:09:31.000Like, man, you know when you get around someone who's got real focus, who's really, really figured out a way to turn their minds into a pinpoint, like a laser?
01:09:42.000Fucking Tom Cruise does it from the Scientology training.
01:09:55.000I'm sure there's a lot of power in that, but we're so distracted right now that when you come across someone who's got that kind of focus, you almost feel like you're around Dracula or something.
01:10:06.000It's kind of creepy when someone just tunes in.
01:10:09.000Do you think that that would work on you, though?
01:10:11.000If you and Tom Cruise were alone in a room together and you had a conversation with him...
01:12:21.000Even fucking Romney has this weird way that he kind of does the heat-seeking missile lock-in on people when they're talking that's different from the way normal people act.
01:12:30.000And that level of focus comes from Being supremely disciplined in some way or another.
01:12:37.000You know, whether it's because you're having to, as a politician, like if you think about the level of focus it takes for those guys during the debates, regardless of whether you like them or not, when you imagine that one misstep One wrong thing that you say is going to get repeated like a strobe light for the next week or perhaps could ruin your chance of being president.
01:13:01.000that's an insane amount of pressure that they're under and they've developed some incredible focus to deal with it which i think is different than most other people you know most people are scattered man i i eat dinner with people sometimes and they can't go four minutes without checking their phone you know you just get used to it you get used to this thing around people where it's like oh yeah
01:13:21.000they're one of those people who always check their phone like i know during a conversation with this person they're going to be constantly looking at their phone irresistibly drawn to it it's the worst Yeah, there's some people that you can't lock in with them if they have a phone on them.
01:16:53.000I mean, that's how a computer virus is set up.
01:16:56.000We would have to make these computers, make these sentient beings, we have to program them with some sort of ambition, some sort of desire to move forward.
01:17:05.000Because if you didn't program them with an objective, a mandate, if you didn't, then they would just be intelligent.
01:17:12.000Just because they're intelligent, there's no reward system for them to want to, you know, make a new nuclear reactor.
01:17:18.000Well, again, man, it's like you're creating a situation where the robots are different than us.
01:18:19.000But I would speculate that if you're going to recreate a human mind inside a computer, I would speculate that the thing is going to...
01:18:26.000If you want to say that there's consciousness that is exteriorized, then I would say that that brain would be an antenna for it in the same way that our brains are.
01:18:34.000That to me is like saying that if you recreated a car, it would start itself.
01:18:47.000So would you create an artificial baby and let this baby live life and learn all the things that a person learns to develop a personality?
01:18:53.000Or are you going to somehow or another download someone's already formulated 80-year-old personality into this Well, I think that you've got a lot of choices.
01:19:03.000I mean, it's literally the idea is, if we take the neural pathways of the human brain and replicate them inside a machine, the question that we're coming up against is, does the thing...
01:19:21.000Or does it just exist in the state that you created it in?
01:19:23.000Are you able to create not just a person, but the mechanisms inside of a person, the genetic coding that allows a person to continue to grow and get older and move forward?
01:19:36.000There's a lot of questions, because is it just a meat bag?
01:19:39.000That would be really creepy if we created a person and just nothing clicked.
01:20:28.000It might not be your entire expression, but it's a piece of your motivation for doing anything.
01:20:32.000It's to be loved or the love of what you're doing.
01:20:35.000The love of what you're doing, ultimately, is a better way of approaching it.
01:20:38.000You get love from doing that well, and it's a strange little exchange.
01:20:47.000If you concentrate too much on getting love for what you're doing, then you're not going to do good stuff.
01:20:52.000You have to concentrate on loving what you're doing, and then when you love what you're doing, you really focus on it, and then you get love from it.
01:21:04.000The moment you get outside of that, you are fucked, man.
01:21:07.000Well, that's in the Bhagavad Gita, the verses, you have a right to your actions and not the fruit of your actions, which means you just focus on what you're doing and don't worry about what's going to flourish on the tree, and then everything works out much better.
01:21:20.000Well, that sounds like socialism to me, Duncan.
01:26:34.000But man, this thing about schtick, this gets into metaphysics, and this gets into a place that I think about all the time, which is how much of what human beings, day to day, that people are doing is a schtick.
01:26:46.000In the same way that comics have this thing, how many times do you run into someone who's got this thing going on, which is their personality, their ego, this thing that they're clinging to or putting out front that isn't even them at all?
01:26:59.000Well, how many people do that in the guise of a radio personality?
01:27:03.000I mean, isn't that like the ultimate goof, the radio personality?
01:27:07.000I was listening to Opie and Anthony today, and they do a thing called Jocktober, where they go after hacky radio people, and they start talking like them and mocking their act!
01:30:27.000But, you know, when a movie would come out and you would be in elementary school and then some catchphrase from that movie would suddenly go rushing through elementary school again.
01:31:33.000It's very interesting that we sort of amalgamate, we sort of take in from all sorts of different sources around us that we like, all the different things that we like.
01:31:42.000It's always a problem with comics as well.
01:31:44.000You see certain comics that are just doing Doug Stanhope.
01:31:47.000How many guys have you seen that were opening for Doug?
01:31:50.000I don't know if you ever went to one of Doug's shows.
01:31:52.000But years ago, especially, he would have guys open for him and they were essentially doing Stanhope.
01:31:56.000And I was like, Jesus Christ, you got you before you, buddy.
01:32:24.000I just had my mom as a shrink on the podcast.
01:32:28.000She was talking about the effect that she thinks what happens when you were a kid, like getting your dick snipped off, like you were saying, has on the rest of your life.
01:32:39.000You get thumbprinted by your parents, by the subjective DNA of your parents gets thumbprinted into you.
01:32:45.000And then you spend the rest of your life in this kind of strange hypnotic trance, not knowing why you're doing what you're doing.
01:32:53.000And that, I think, is the beginning of, you know, when you're talking about dumb people or people who are absorbed into some religious structure, I think the beginning of humanness starts when you start thinking about, wait, what am I really?
01:33:10.000What's behind the behavior mechanisms that I picked up from my folks or from movies or from influential friends or from whatever?
01:33:18.000What's the being residing behind all that shit?
01:33:22.000And that, I think, is when you stop being a machine or start waking up a little bit.
01:33:26.000But until then, you might as well be a fucking brain in a goddamn Commodore 64. Yeah, or you just enjoy this fucking weird existence and marvel at all the mystery of it all and just sort of try to take it in and just enjoy it.
01:33:42.000Because if you try to get down to your core all day, every day, you're going to miss what's enjoyable about the experience.
01:33:51.000I don't necessarily know if we're ever going to figure out what's Motivating us, pushing us in one way or another.
01:34:13.000We're all just weird personalities that have come about Through a whole bunch of different scenarios, a bunch of different ways to live a life, you know, and different locations and different problems and challenges and different genetics.
01:35:24.000hundred years from now, this fucking thing is going to be sand again.
01:35:26.000So what you're watching right now is just a moment of this thing's true existence.
01:35:31.000And in the same way, you and Joey Diaz and Brian and me and everyone listening to this are just one moat, One moment of beingness in this web that for us traces all the way back apparently to nuclear fusion inside of stars, which has gone through infinite time until it's finally manifested in the form of whatever the particulates.
01:36:35.000They thought it was possible that we were under attack by an alien race because there was these huge bursts of energy that were happening all throughout the universe.
01:36:45.000So they thought it was possible that there were actually alien wars at one point in time.
01:36:49.000That was something that was being considered until they understood the mechanism behind NOVA's.
01:38:00.000Like, if we didn't have these greedy-ass fucking cities with lights everywhere and driving around with headlights, if we could have just for one hour or a couple hours of one day, maybe just like one night a year where everyone shuts all the power off for three hours.
01:38:46.000Interested in the idea of pursuing astronomy or...
01:38:49.000Or pursuing rocketry or working for NASA or something.
01:38:53.000Our appreciation for funding things like NASA and the Hubble telescope and new telescopes and the Keck Observatory and all that stuff would be so much more appreciated if we could see the majesty of the stars.
01:39:09.000We've robbed ourselves of that with cities.
01:39:14.000We don't even realize it because we've grown up with these things.
01:39:16.000But all that light all the time has robbed us of really the most amazing thing you could ever see.
01:39:22.000And one of the most humbling things I've ever seen in my life.
01:39:25.000I've had psychedelic experiences that didn't affect me as much as looking at those stars.
01:39:30.000Because I remember that night I couldn't sleep.
01:39:32.000I remember I got back to the hotel room and I was just lying in bed staring up at the ceiling thinking how insane that thing was and that that's up there all the time and I can't see it.
01:41:47.000I can't remember who fucking said this.
01:41:49.000One of these singularity people said, humankind's first contact with an extraterrestrial, or with rather an alien intelligence, is going to be a machine that's woken up.
01:41:59.000And that's going to be our first experience with it, is something we made.
01:42:10.000It is possible that we're at the high...
01:42:12.000I mean, there was one recent Harvard astronomer that decided after looking at 500 different stars that we may be the only thing out there and that there's so little life or evidence of life in these planets, these 500 different planets, rather, that they've observed.
01:42:58.000And also, man, that creek bed in Mars, that shit gives me goosebumps.
01:43:02.000When I see pictures of the fucking gravel in Mars from water flowing on Mars, I just think about what that must have looked like on that planet with Martian water rolling through whatever it was rolling through.
01:43:15.000I think there was probably life on Mars.
01:43:18.000Yeah, Brian, pull up How Earth Sounds from Space on YouTube and it'll freak you.
01:43:27.000These fucking loud ass people interfering with our podcast, yelling on the street.
01:43:31.000We got no sound proofing here at the Ice House.
01:47:37.000We're here for another sold-out show tonight at the Ice House in Pasadena, ladies and gentlemen, where we sling comedy dick on a regular basis.
01:47:45.000And, you know, we got a lot of people come back, so we try to come up with as much new shit as possible.
01:47:51.000And I'm going to be doing a lot on the Earth Singing Like a Whale.
01:50:40.000They were all talking about it, how the guy actually said...
01:50:45.000I want you to visualize who your audience is.
01:50:48.000Just, you know, take a picture out of a magazine that represents that guy, you know, your blue-collar guy, and just put that up there on the wall, and you know, that's the guy you're talking to.
01:50:58.000You know, when Anthony was saying that he put up John Casey, it was really That's great.
01:51:05.000But it's like that happens whenever you get a producer involved and someone who's a non-creative person involved in trying to shape your radio personality.
01:51:18.000What we're going to do, man, is just tighten up your image.
01:51:28.000Anthony Bourdain is the only guy that I've ever met that used to wear a thumb ring that's not a douchebag.
01:51:35.000He's a cool guy, and he has a thumb ring, and I'd watch him on the show, and I'm like, man, I just gotta talk to him about that ring, and we're gonna be fine.
01:52:19.000Is that like us losing our natural reward system with hunter and gathering and being stuck into some weird fucking environment where we're taking pills and trying to overcome reality with pharmaceutical drugs and sedate ourselves through shit jobs and boring meaningless existences as a cog in the wheel and then you just go crazy, substance abuse, tattoo your face.
01:52:42.000It's like the human version of pigs in slaughterhouses that start chewing off their own legs because they're too close to each other.
01:52:51.000But also a lot of times when people do that shit outside of the guy who did a rim job, a lot of times when people fuck up their body, they're doing it because they want...
01:53:02.000i think i think that they're like writing rim job on your face no not that i said except for that guy but like the people who like just fucking like put in the like hang themselves from their nipples or like people who do the ear the big ear holes you think they're looking for certain types of girls and that's what it is i think it's a mating pattern some of it for sure it is the ear thing is i would have never saw that coming me either i met a lot of cool people that have it too and And I don't want to judge them.
01:54:57.000No, I think two sleeves of tattoos is a fuckload cooler than having your head inflated.
01:55:01.000Yeah, it's cooler, but it's still weird to the average person.
01:55:05.000It doesn't want to sit there and have someone draw on them with a fucking scratchy needle that shoves ink under their skin just to make it look cool.
02:00:44.000So many places are available and open.
02:00:47.000And if they decided just randomly to shut down 700 different fucking dispensaries for just dubious reasons, for reasons that don't make any sense at all, it would suck.
02:02:08.000Doing their job, but they don't really want to arrest it.
02:02:11.000I think they probably agree with the states that have weed laws, but they're like, alright, we got to do something, so let's just shut this down, but not really try people.
02:02:21.000I don't know if it's an agreement thing, because a lot of cops do not like weed.
02:02:26.000When cops break into guys' houses and shoot their dogs 17 fucking times, And look around and find a pipe a little bit of weed on it.
02:02:34.000Have you seen some of those arrest videos?
02:04:01.000Kevin Pereira was telling us the story of being stuck at the airport and trying to film it, having his girlfriend trying to film it, and they wouldn't let him.
02:04:31.000And then they want to control the people complaining.
02:04:32.000So they want to tighten down the police state instead of addressing what the people are complaining about.
02:04:36.000When people get to the point where they're rioting in the streets or there's an Occupy Wall Street type of movement, man...
02:04:42.000The fact that the government does not address that on a formal basis, on a regular basis, that they're not doing something about that and adjusting it, just shows you how much contempt they have for the actual people and who they really work for.
02:05:15.000The spooky thing is apparently our entire currency is based on the fact that most people use it to buy oil, and so they have to have vast reserves of it on hand to buy the oil.
02:05:26.000But if that changes, then our dollar will drop even more than it's valued at now, in the most extreme way, because it's not based on gold.
02:05:35.000And so a lot of people, it's called the petrodollar It's on Wikipedia.
02:05:40.000But the theory is that all the wars that we've been in have been with places that we're about to switch the currency from the dollar to something else.
02:05:51.000And whenever that happens, we go in and attack because that's the only thing that our dollar is valued on.
02:08:27.000He could have done something far more horrific and he would be interacting with people.
02:08:31.000What this guy did was leak some information about some shit that he thought was horrific.
02:08:36.000And in doing so, they're treating him like he is fucking Lex Luthor.
02:08:41.000They're treating him like he's the worst bad guy ever.
02:08:44.000Meanwhile, Manson's in a regular prison somewhere.
02:08:47.000Rogan, have you seen this list that leaked about the different signs that someone's a terrorist, like it leaked from the army or something, like what to look for?
02:08:59.000Like, you are, like, there's gradients on the list, and on the red side, it's pretty much all of us are, like, would be considered, like, terrorists by this new thing.
02:10:26.000But the combination of this with the Indefinite Detention Act, that's where shit gets creepy.
02:10:31.000Because it's one thing to just be like, yeah, those are signs that someone might be doing something weird, but then I think a terrorist, someone suspected of terrorism, can just get arrested according to the Indefinite Detention Act without a trial.
02:11:40.000Not only can they restrict you, but just to travel, you are going to have your body magnetically scanned so they can see you fucking naked.
02:11:49.000If you travel, you must allow them to see your naked body.
02:11:53.000But that doesn't work, as Joey Diaz clearly explained on the Alex Jones show.
02:11:58.000They missed a bag of weed hidden under his balls.
02:12:00.000It can't see through Joey's balls, no matter what.
02:12:03.000They might be able to see distant telescopes.
02:12:05.000They have not yet developed a scanner machine that can see past Joey's balls.
02:13:37.000How crazy would that be if half those machines really cost like $800 for each body to go through and they just make you go through and press a button and go, you're going through it.
02:13:46.000They're just checking to see who gets nervous.
02:13:47.000Look how many fucking times they find people with bullets and guns and fucking stupidity.
02:16:45.000Well, going back to the EMS shit, a friend of mine, he was a comic, and he used to work in an ambulance in Queens, and people were coming with shit stuck in their ass.
02:17:29.000Dude, this guy, the doctor we were talking at, too, at dinner, he said something that I'd never heard before, which is some people were taking nitrous oxide, remember this, and inflating their testicles with it.
02:21:50.000can cause long-term complications and or death not adequately treated sores can occur on the lips and in the mouth syphilis can be transmitted during vaginal anal or oral sexual contact pregnant women with the disease can pass it on to their unborn children whoa damn you syphilis syphilis is a mother a motherfucker.
02:22:09.000How quickly do symptoms appear after infection?
02:22:11.000The average time between infection with syphilis and the appearance of the first symptom is 21 days, but it can range up to 90 days.
02:22:20.000Dude, I knew a guy who used to say that fucking pussy with gonorrhea was the best pussy.
02:24:22.000Yeah, I mean, that's probably, how many dudes probably called people up, beating off while they were on the phone?
02:24:27.000I remember being a security guard at night at this complex they were building for seniors, and the only thing to do was, like, you're bored at night, you just call the phone, so I used to go down the party line.
02:24:38.000Like, I ran up, like, a thousand dollar bill in, like, a week.
02:24:41.000So I'm a security guard, and I gotta pay this shit back.
02:24:44.000They're taking the money out of my check.
02:24:46.000I'm basically working for this party line.
02:25:23.000Isn't that amazing that they could just charge you to connect your fucking phone lines together and charge you ridiculous amounts of money?
02:28:20.000Yeah, they don't want to fuck the guy.
02:28:22.000Listen, when I kidnapped that dude, my partner on the deal, my partner on the deal, the reason, his motivation, like, you know when you go to acting class and they're like, what's your motivation?
02:28:33.000His motivation for the kidnapping was he was dating a chick.
02:33:04.000Like when I was locked up in a federal joint for a couple months, I got to meet people who told me stories about shooting fucking blow with agents.
02:33:37.000That's the weird thing, man, where the cop, the CIA agent, or whoever it is, begins to turn into the thing that they're hunting, begins to get sucked into that, and then they're the criminal too.
02:33:49.000Look, when you go talk to attorneys, if you ever get in trouble, when you go talk to attorneys, you go talk to these dudes that are very book smart.
02:33:55.000The attorney you want is the guy that knows his way around the court system.
02:33:59.000The guy who went to college with the judge, who's gonna cut a deal.
02:34:02.000He went to school with the district attorney.
02:37:00.000If you want to play in high school sports now, by the year 2015, you're going to have to pay for your son to play high school fucking sports, my friends.
02:37:08.000So put that in your pipe and fucking smoke it.
02:37:51.000The astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson said that they could come up with some incredible web space telescope.
02:37:59.000The government pulled the plug on it because they didn't have the money.
02:38:02.000They didn't have the money to discover new planets and possibly search for life or figure out what got us here or what could prevent the demise of the world.
02:38:10.000Instead they got all this money for Afghanistan.
02:38:12.000Why are we still in Afghanistan anyway?
02:43:35.000Yeah, and they also have, say if you and I had two lines, we could put them on one account and we could split the numbers.
02:43:42.000Say if you have a family and you want to get a phone for your wife or your girlfriend or whatever or some son that won't leave your fucking house and you've got to pay for this little fucking puke, get them a phone.
02:46:35.000We're going to move forward, press on, get bigger and better, and introduce more cool motherfuckers to you, like Ian Edwards, ladies and gentlemen.