The Joe Rogan Experience - November 26, 2012


Joe Rogan Experience #289 - Shane Smith


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 13 minutes

Words per Minute

180.8414

Word Count

13,325

Sentence Count

1,154

Misogynist Sentences

25

Hate Speech Sentences

56


Summary

The world has become insane and we're not doing anything about it. We're just two dudes having a few drinks in the middle of nowhere talking about the end of the world and why we should all be worried about nuclear weapons and how we're going to end up with nuclear weapons. We don't know what's going on and we don't have a freaking answer to it. But we do know one thing, and that's that we need to do something about it because we're all crazy and we have no idea what s going on. And the only thing we know is that it's going to kill us all if we let it happen and we allow it to happen. It's time to wake up and wake up to the reality that we are all crazy, and we are the only ones with a rational answer to the question, "Why do they have nukes?" and the answer is... it's because they needed nukes. And the real scary thing about it is that we have the most fail-safe reactor on the planet, the Kandu reactor. And it's not a nuclear reactor, it's a fail safe reactor, and it's the most safe reactor on Earth. And we're giving them nukes because we need nukes to keep us safe from nuclear meltdowns. and they need them because they need the nuclear reactors to keep them safe. We're crazy, not because we have a nuclear power, we have nuclear power to keep the world safe, we need nuclear power because they don't need nuclear weapons to survive, they need nuclear reactors because we are crazy, right? We donators, not stupid, not dumb, dumb, not smart, not rational, not boring, not scary, not cool, not good, not evil, not bad, but crazy, but we're crazy! we're just regular dudes having some drinks and we like to have a few shots of teacups, we like having a good time and we want to talk about it, we're having some fun and we just want to have some fun, you know what we're cool with it, yayyy. . You know what else? We love you, we'll see you soon. XOXO. xoxo -Jon Sorrental. - Jon Jon Sorrentino. Jon's new book is out now! - Tom's new album is out in the works!


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Everybody else is looking to go to war.
00:00:01.000 Everybody else is looking to kill them.
00:00:03.000 Everybody else is looking to take.
00:00:05.000 Most people in this world just want to get by.
00:00:09.000 They want to be healthy.
00:00:10.000 They want to have children and have those children be happy and healthy.
00:00:13.000 They want to get through the day.
00:00:14.000 They want to get through the fucking day.
00:00:15.000 They are led by people who are profiting off of the drama.
00:00:20.000 And that's the real problem.
00:00:21.000 Can I say one thing?
00:00:21.000 This is why this podcast is so important and not to be melodramatic is To go back to the success of this podcast and the success of Vice and all this stuff is that it's because all of the other shit out there is bullshit.
00:00:34.000 This is the whole thing.
00:00:36.000 Is what happens in mainstream media and the news cycle is crap.
00:00:42.000 And what's happening here and the reason why you have so many people listening to you and supporting you and the reason why Vice is growing so rapidly is because we're just regular dudes.
00:00:51.000 We're regular guys.
00:00:53.000 We like MMA. We like fighting.
00:00:55.000 We like having a few drinks.
00:00:56.000 You're you.
00:00:57.000 Yeah.
00:00:57.000 And you go out there in the world and you say, hold on a second.
00:01:01.000 Where's the fucking rationality here?
00:01:03.000 Why do these fuckers have nuclear weapons?
00:01:05.000 Why the fuck is this happening?
00:01:07.000 Why is the fucking world sinking and we're not doing something about it?
00:01:12.000 I don't understand.
00:01:13.000 I'm not like...
00:01:14.000 I'm not Jesus on the cross.
00:01:16.000 I'm not trying to be that guy.
00:01:18.000 I'm just going out in the world and going, holy fuck!
00:01:21.000 And that's why it resonates.
00:01:23.000 And when I say it's the end of the world, it's because I went to Kashmir.
00:01:27.000 I went to the Indian side of Kashmir.
00:01:28.000 The Indians said...
00:01:30.000 If we have another Mumbai attack, we will attack Pakistan.
00:01:33.000 Then I went to Pakistan and I was like, why are you still sending these, you're training, the ISI and the military, why are you still sending these guys into India?
00:01:40.000 They've said that if you still, if you send them in again, they're going to attack you.
00:01:45.000 And they're like, yes, because we're going to win.
00:01:48.000 And you're like, nobody's going to fucking win.
00:01:50.000 You're going to nuke each other.
00:01:51.000 You're all going to die.
00:01:52.000 And the thing is, is I keep saying there, and it's the same thing in China.
00:01:55.000 It's the same thing.
00:01:56.000 Even the funny shit that we do is like, It's the absurdity of the modern condition.
00:02:00.000 It's the world has become insane.
00:02:02.000 And I'm saying, where are all the adults, eh?
00:02:05.000 But where's the rationality?
00:02:06.000 Where's just like two regular guys And by the way, we're just sitting here with a beautiful oak table having a few drinks in the middle of nowhere.
00:02:17.000 And so many people are resonating with us.
00:02:20.000 We're just two dudes talking.
00:02:22.000 But the thing is, is so many people resonate, resonate, resonate.
00:02:25.000 Why?
00:02:26.000 Because everyone's just coming out of the pond going, hold on a second.
00:02:29.000 Hold on a second.
00:02:31.000 What the fuck's going on?
00:02:32.000 What the fuck?
00:02:33.000 We're all rational people.
00:02:34.000 We're all smart people.
00:02:35.000 We all have the internet.
00:02:36.000 We fucking see all this shit's going on.
00:02:37.000 What the fuck's going on?
00:02:38.000 And I think that the answers are terrifying.
00:02:42.000 Because you know what?
00:02:43.000 Nobody has an answer.
00:02:45.000 Oh, well, it's just this, this, this, and this.
00:02:46.000 It's not really going to happen because it's that.
00:02:49.000 And, you know, it's just this guy doing that.
00:02:50.000 You sound like Brian Callen.
00:02:52.000 Pitching for Fox News.
00:02:54.000 But the thing is, it's not true.
00:02:56.000 Actually, the New York Times has refuted that...
00:03:00.000 Yeah, but it's not true.
00:03:01.000 Like, there is no rationality.
00:03:02.000 The answer is more terrifying than the question, which is, why do they have nukes?
00:03:09.000 Because we gave them.
00:03:10.000 Because we're crazy.
00:03:11.000 Because we're crazy.
00:03:11.000 Because there's no rationality.
00:03:12.000 They had money.
00:03:13.000 They needed nukes.
00:03:14.000 We had nukes.
00:03:14.000 We needed money.
00:03:15.000 Boom.
00:03:16.000 Chaka-laka-boom.
00:03:17.000 Correct.
00:03:18.000 You know what the real scary story is?
00:03:21.000 Canada had this thing, the Kandu reactor, the fail-safe reactor, the most safe reactor on Earth, fucking beautiful reactor.
00:03:27.000 The Titanic of reactors.
00:03:28.000 And Canada is like, oh, we're the largest donator of foreign aid.
00:03:31.000 I'm Canadian, by the way.
00:03:32.000 I love Canada.
00:03:33.000 And we're the largest donators of foreign aid.
00:03:36.000 And then we gave the reactors to Pakistan and we said, now, whatever you do, don't do anything bad with it.
00:03:44.000 And they said, oh, of course not.
00:03:45.000 And you're sitting there going, what the fuck?
00:03:48.000 What the fuck were you fucking thinking, Canada, giving them fucking reactors?
00:03:53.000 What the fuck were you thinking?
00:03:55.000 That's so silly.
00:03:57.000 The reactor thing is a real freakout to me.
00:03:59.000 And I talk about it in my act.
00:04:01.000 I don't know if I'm allowed to swear, by the way.
00:04:03.000 What are you talking about?
00:04:04.000 I don't know.
00:04:05.000 Here?
00:04:06.000 What's the matter?
00:04:08.000 Oh, you want a cigarette?
00:04:09.000 Shut it!
00:04:10.000 Shut it!
00:04:10.000 I'm not supposed to say that shit.
00:04:12.000 I didn't know.
00:04:13.000 I didn't know what you were saying.
00:04:14.000 I didn't know that was a bad thing.
00:04:16.000 Does somebody not want you to indulge?
00:04:18.000 Let's be real here.
00:04:19.000 I don't know.
00:04:19.000 Come on, Shane Smith.
00:04:20.000 You know I love you like a brother.
00:04:22.000 Tell me what's going on.
00:04:23.000 Who doesn't want you to indulge?
00:04:24.000 You got an issue?
00:04:25.000 Mrs. Shane Smith?
00:04:27.000 Who perhaps doesn't want Hubby to die of cancer or bullets?
00:04:30.000 Cigarettes is the last thing she should worry about.
00:04:32.000 This dude's going to the Congo in his underwear.
00:04:36.000 We can talk about the Congo.
00:04:37.000 You should worry.
00:04:38.000 Have you gone?
00:04:39.000 Did you go to the Congo?
00:04:40.000 Yeah.
00:04:40.000 See, that's where I draw the line.
00:04:42.000 I've been to Goma, and right now, it's going fucking crazy.
00:04:48.000 The only way I would go to the Congo is if someone absolutely showed me for sure.
00:04:51.000 We're going to find the apes.
00:04:52.000 I could see one of those apes.
00:04:53.000 Those giant...
00:04:54.000 We're still working on it.
00:04:56.000 It's a real animal, bro.
00:04:58.000 It's a real animal.
00:04:59.000 That's not like a Sasquatch issue.
00:05:01.000 Did I ever tell you about David Cho and the dinosaurs?
00:05:05.000 Yes, I watched that episode.
00:05:07.000 They believe there's a brontosaurus in the Congo.
00:05:11.000 Hey, look.
00:05:11.000 There's alligators.
00:05:12.000 Yeah.
00:05:13.000 Okay?
00:05:13.000 We need to wrap our heads around the idea that alligators fucking survived.
00:05:18.000 Sure.
00:05:18.000 I want alligator blood.
00:05:20.000 You know, I'm reading this Chris Ryan book, Sex at Dawn.
00:05:24.000 Fascinating, fascinating book.
00:05:26.000 And he talks about the name Yucatan and that what the name came from is...
00:05:32.000 One of Christopher Columbus' settlers...
00:05:36.000 You don't have to worry about what you blow down.
00:05:38.000 I grew up in comedy clubs and pool halls.
00:05:40.000 Let that shit go.
00:05:40.000 Don't worry about it.
00:05:41.000 He asked them, what is the name of your land?
00:05:45.000 And the guy said something like, you know, in whatever the Mayan tongue is.
00:05:52.000 And so they said, Yucatan.
00:05:54.000 Okay, Yucatan.
00:05:55.000 That was like as close to...
00:05:56.000 It turns out when scholars reviewed what the actual original word was, because I guess they wrote it down somewhere...
00:06:01.000 It means in mine, I don't understand you.
00:06:04.000 So when people go down to Cancun and they go get their freak on for spring break, they're in the I Don't Understand You Peninsula.
00:06:13.000 Christopher Ryan, Bad Motherfucker.
00:06:14.000 It's like when they went to India, they said, where are we?
00:06:17.000 And they're like, Mumbai.
00:06:17.000 And they're like, Bombay.
00:06:18.000 Perfect.
00:06:19.000 Exactly.
00:06:19.000 Perfect.
00:06:20.000 Love it.
00:06:21.000 Where are you?
00:06:22.000 Beijing.
00:06:22.000 Peking!
00:06:23.000 Love it.
00:06:24.000 Well, like Greece.
00:06:25.000 They don't call themselves Greece, right?
00:06:26.000 Don't they have another name?
00:06:27.000 Yeah, Halas.
00:06:28.000 There's a couple different countries like that.
00:06:30.000 Japan is Nippon.
00:06:32.000 Oh, that's another place where we just shot Greece.
00:06:35.000 Holy fuck.
00:06:37.000 Yeah, Greece is completely insolvent.
00:06:39.000 Is that the case?
00:06:40.000 Well...
00:06:41.000 It is.
00:06:42.000 So we just shot the riots in Greece, France, Spain, Italy, and actually the rise of the neo-Nazis in Germany.
00:06:52.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:06:53.000 They're back?
00:06:54.000 They're back.
00:06:55.000 Don't call it a comeback.
00:06:56.000 How could you get fucking Nazis again in Germany?
00:07:00.000 Really, Germans?
00:07:01.000 Yeah.
00:07:02.000 Really, folks?
00:07:03.000 Come on.
00:07:03.000 You got the internet.
00:07:04.000 You got 4G, you motherfuckers.
00:07:07.000 Actually, what's faster internet than us?
00:07:10.000 Do they, Brian?
00:07:11.000 Yeah, than us, yeah.
00:07:12.000 No, no, this, yeah.
00:07:13.000 Are we online at all?
00:07:14.000 Well, I found out that you probably have DSL, which is like the worst internet in the world.
00:07:20.000 Right.
00:07:21.000 And so I put it down to like mobile bandwidth style, so like it's such a low bandwidth.
00:07:27.000 Right.
00:07:27.000 But is it working?
00:07:29.000 Barely.
00:07:29.000 You're a technological genius.
00:07:31.000 Well, he's a bad motherfucker, and without him, I'd be lost.
00:07:33.000 And he has great t-shirts, and I want one.
00:07:37.000 And he has great taste in women.
00:07:40.000 He's a bad motherfucker, that Brian Redman.
00:07:45.000 Look, man, I love you, but every time we get together, we start talking doom and gloom, and I fucking shit my pants.
00:07:51.000 And I want to believe that there's a way out of this.
00:07:54.000 I want to believe that I know that I've changed as a human being.
00:07:58.000 There is, and I've got to say this, because it's up to guys like you, guys like me, and guys like everyone listening to this podcast to say, we have the power.
00:08:10.000 Dude, that's a lot of responsibility.
00:08:12.000 I want to get high and watch The Hobbit.
00:08:15.000 However, you want to get high and watch The Hobbit.
00:08:18.000 However, I'm going to say this publicly and online.
00:08:23.000 Joe Rogan, who's a famous dude who does UFC and TV shows and comic genius and all this stuff, he does a podcast, pays for a fucking studio, pays for oak tables, pays for state-of-the-art equipment and all this stuff to do a podcast.
00:08:39.000 To tell the fucking truth.
00:08:41.000 And by the way, that's fucking admirable.
00:08:42.000 And by the way, everybody out there who has a camera, who has an iPhone, who has a fucking YouTube connection, everyone can do it and everyone should do it because it's time to start fucking changing shit because you know what?
00:08:52.000 Shit is fucked up.
00:08:54.000 They are doing it and that's the beautiful thing.
00:08:56.000 That's the beautiful thing.
00:08:56.000 There's a bunch of people that we've introduced.
00:09:00.000 But via this podcast, like Daniele Bolelli and the guys from London Real who came down to my podcast.
00:09:07.000 And those guys are really popular now.
00:09:09.000 Their podcasts are popular.
00:09:10.000 And it's instead of you going through this traditional system of it not being about the value of your contribution, but rather being about like who's hot and who's not and who's it and who's like fucking dating who and all the nonsense that we get roped up in as primates,
00:09:28.000 as social primates.
00:09:29.000 And to instead say, the fuck that, man.
00:09:31.000 But I would like to say to everyone who's listening to this, Joe Rogan, red man over there, is fucking the technological genius.
00:09:38.000 You guys are doing something that is purely democratic, that is incredibly fucking important, incredibly useful.
00:09:45.000 It's the reason why every time I come to LA I do this.
00:09:48.000 Because you guys are giving guys like me and everybody else a fucking platform to say, hey, by the way, I don't want to be all doom and gloom.
00:09:59.000 What I want to do is say, this shit is happening.
00:10:02.000 It's real.
00:10:02.000 And people should know about it.
00:10:04.000 And we can do shit about it.
00:10:05.000 And by the way, it's not just us here in America.
00:10:07.000 People in India can do shit about it.
00:10:09.000 People in Pakistan can do shit about it.
00:10:11.000 And by the way, youth are fucking pissed off.
00:10:13.000 They're upset.
00:10:15.000 Politicians have failed them.
00:10:16.000 The rich are getting richer.
00:10:17.000 The poor are getting poorer.
00:10:18.000 And what we're trying to do is bring back journalism in the sense that journalism is saying, this shit is fucked up and we collectively have to solve it.
00:10:27.000 Otherwise, you have kids, I have kids.
00:10:29.000 Our kids are going to be fucked.
00:10:32.000 I run through these various scenarios in my head about the future of humanity, and the only thing that gives me hope is the access to ideas and information that are available today.
00:10:46.000 Just what I know about me.
00:10:48.000 With a phone, I can pretty much answer almost any question I have.
00:10:53.000 About anything in the world within a couple of hours of sitting there and reading shit.
00:10:58.000 All you need is a goddamn phone.
00:10:59.000 But you're a guy that doesn't have to do this.
00:11:01.000 You don't have to take your time out.
00:11:03.000 You don't have to pay all this money to set this up.
00:11:05.000 Well, it's not that much money.
00:11:07.000 It's fairly reasonable.
00:11:08.000 It's hard and it's money and it's time out of your day.
00:11:11.000 And you're setting up this shit, and by the way, more people should be doing it, and more people should be doing shit because it's bad.
00:11:17.000 I don't even think about it that way.
00:11:18.000 I mean, the way I think about it is, first of all, we were doing it at my house, and then we were doing it at Brian's place that he set up, Desquad Studios in the Ice House.
00:11:28.000 And I thought about it.
00:11:29.000 I was like, why am I doing my shit at my house?
00:11:32.000 Like, let's take this to the next level.
00:11:34.000 So I was inspired by, like, Brian putting together this crazy studio and us using it for, you know, how long have you been there, Brian?
00:11:41.000 It was a year anniversary last month.
00:11:43.000 And Bob Fisher, you beautiful motherfucker, you.
00:11:46.000 The guy who owns that place is just such a sweetie.
00:11:49.000 They're all sweeties there.
00:11:50.000 The waitresses are sweeties.
00:11:52.000 Everybody's nice.
00:11:53.000 But look at what you built out of it.
00:11:54.000 And I've got to say, everybody out there should take this as an example because everybody can do shit.
00:11:59.000 Yeah.
00:11:59.000 And by the way, you're doing shit.
00:12:00.000 You don't have to do shit.
00:12:01.000 You're doing shit.
00:12:02.000 See, that's where I want to sort of straighten...
00:12:06.000 I don't think that...
00:12:08.000 It's not like I don't have to.
00:12:09.000 There's no motivation to do this other than joy, other than fun, other than the fact that I love talking to guys like you.
00:12:18.000 How else would I organize a three-hour conversation with you and I? The only way to make it enticing is I have to fucking broadcast it online to get to meet someone like you.
00:12:28.000 Tomorrow we're doing that John McAfee, the guy, the virus...
00:12:33.000 Guy who is in Belize on the run.
00:12:37.000 We're doing that guy.
00:12:38.000 I couldn't get to talk to that guy in real life.
00:12:40.000 Why would he talk to me?
00:12:41.000 But you tell more truth here on your podcast than MSNBC and Fox put together.
00:12:46.000 And I've got to say, that's the future of journalism.
00:12:50.000 It's regular people like you and me who actually give a shit and who have actually learned stuff.
00:12:55.000 And because you go around the world and you see shit, I go around the world and I see shit, we see this stuff and we go, hey, This is ridiculous, yeah.
00:13:03.000 Change is incredibly difficult.
00:13:05.000 It's incredibly difficult for people to change.
00:13:08.000 It's incredibly difficult for systems of government or monetary systems to change.
00:13:13.000 Change is incredibly hard and resisted tooth and claw.
00:13:17.000 And the people that are involved in MSNBC and CNN and all these people that perpetrate all this nonsense journalism, I don't fault them.
00:13:27.000 I don't, because as a guy who's been, this is my position, as a guy who's been in the system of television before, I've been on two different TV shows.
00:13:37.000 I was on a sitcom for five years, and then I was on Fear Factor for six years.
00:13:40.000 I kind of see, I got a pretty good view of the whole system of creating things and the network run.
00:13:48.000 It's insurmountable.
00:13:49.000 It either has to collapse or be absorbed by the internet.
00:13:54.000 Those are the only options.
00:13:55.000 But it, as it stands, is bureaucratic.
00:13:58.000 There's too many people involved.
00:14:00.000 Too much decision making.
00:14:01.000 It's too expensive and difficult to put together a fucking sitcom.
00:14:06.000 It's so hard to make it good.
00:14:07.000 If you look at your audience and you look at what you're doing and other people like you are doing, you have millions and millions of followers.
00:14:15.000 And I would say this.
00:14:16.000 I would say, look, You have as many, and by the way, more, you have an audience that's actually willing to do shit and willing to participate and they tweet and they Facebook and get on the socials.
00:14:30.000 And I would say this, if you look at Fox, which is aging at 67, 68, those people are dying and going to die out.
00:14:37.000 This is the future.
00:14:39.000 And what you're doing is you're saying, I'm going to put my flag in the sand.
00:14:44.000 And I'm going to say, you know what?
00:14:46.000 You've been in TV. You've been successful.
00:14:48.000 You're still on TV. You're still successful.
00:14:50.000 You're killing it.
00:14:50.000 But yet still, you'll take your time out of your day to come here and say, We're going to try.
00:14:55.000 We're going to do some funny stuff.
00:14:57.000 We're going to do some regular stuff.
00:14:58.000 We're going to do this and that.
00:14:58.000 But we're going to try to fucking at least say, hey, this is what's going on with McAfee.
00:15:04.000 This is what's going on in Pakistan.
00:15:05.000 This is what's going on.
00:15:06.000 You have me on.
00:15:06.000 You have other people on.
00:15:07.000 And I got to say, look, that is the future of journalism because that is the only way today that we're going to get to the truth.
00:15:17.000 Look, I agree with everything you just said and the reason why I do it is because people like you are out there.
00:15:23.000 The reason why I'm so committed to doing a podcast like this and the reason why Brian and I are committed to keeping them free is we benefit from it just as much as everyone else does.
00:15:37.000 We benefit from it from our own conversations.
00:15:40.000 I mean, Brian and I were just talking about simulation theory today.
00:15:43.000 And it's because it's brought up by so many brilliant people on the podcast that we've had these freaky discussions about it.
00:15:51.000 This podcast has been an incredible fucking thing.
00:15:54.000 I can't ever take...
00:15:57.000 Not only can I... I don't feel like I can take any responsibility for it, I can't take any accolades Talk through the internet and reach all these other people.
00:16:27.000 Who else has that opportunity?
00:16:29.000 If you had it, you would do it.
00:16:30.000 If anybody else had it, they would do it.
00:16:32.000 If you're thinking in your right mind and you had a million people that were paying attention or whatever the fuck it is now and you knew some shit, you'd want to tell people some shit.
00:16:42.000 But I'm allowed to say it's admirable.
00:16:44.000 Oh, listen, that's not nearly as admirable as we're chilling here in the fucking valley.
00:16:48.000 Brian and I are in the air-conditioned studio.
00:16:51.000 You're out there in Mumbai, dude.
00:16:53.000 What I'd like to say is life is good, right?
00:16:56.000 And our life has been good.
00:16:58.000 And we got to kind of get out of jail free card.
00:17:00.000 When I got out of college, I used to say, I'm never going to live in a house as nice as my parents or drive a car as nice as my parents.
00:17:08.000 Gen X, my generation, sort of got a get-out-of-jail-free card, but Gen Y is going to have to pay the bill.
00:17:14.000 And in so saying, I think it's our responsibility to say, we know the fucking problems.
00:17:20.000 We know what the fuck's going on.
00:17:21.000 We know that this is a fucking problem.
00:17:23.000 And we have to go out there and say, look, this is a problem.
00:17:26.000 I don't know the solutions.
00:17:27.000 Again, I'm not Jesus on the cross.
00:17:29.000 But at least people, and this is what gives me hope, is that people fundamentally, I believe, are good.
00:17:37.000 And I also believe people are fundamentally smart and people fundamentally want to do the right thing.
00:17:42.000 Well, I think people fundamentally want to be good because love feels better than hate.
00:17:48.000 If I have a little tiny dispute in my life, I don't know about you, but the way I feel about it, especially amongst my circle of friends or amongst people I do business with or work with, if there's any sort of a tiny dispute, there's a ripple in my force, and I don't like it.
00:18:02.000 I don't like that feeling, and I want to resolve it as lovingly and as kindly and as apologetically as I can.
00:18:07.000 I always feel like that.
00:18:09.000 And some people never get to a position where they really feel at peace with their place in the world and how they interact with other people.
00:18:18.000 They can't.
00:18:18.000 Whether it's because they're too in debt or they're in a fucking terrible neighborhood or they grew up with a crazy mother.
00:18:24.000 Whatever it is.
00:18:25.000 You took a bad career path, stuck in a fucking abusive job position.
00:18:29.000 Whatever the fuck it is that locks you into your reality, your existence.
00:18:34.000 It's very difficult for people that are in a torturous position to look at possibilities and options and to look at the possibility and options that this might not be the correct way to live life.
00:18:47.000 And that, in reality, my narrow-minded view has set me on this insurmountable path of ultimate failure.
00:18:54.000 And there's no way to accumulate enough shit in this life if you're a temporary being.
00:18:59.000 There is no way.
00:19:00.000 So if that is the focus of your existence, is accumulating...
00:19:02.000 But that doesn't mean you shouldn't enjoy some shit.
00:19:05.000 Doesn't mean you shouldn't, like, get a fucking Samsung Galaxy S3 and go, ooh!
00:19:09.000 Because all that shit's badass, too.
00:19:13.000 The reality of something...
00:19:15.000 When you hear people talk about...
00:19:17.000 I was having a conversation with someone and they started talking about the law of attraction.
00:19:20.000 Oh, it's the law of attraction.
00:19:21.000 You bring it into your life.
00:19:22.000 It's the law of attraction.
00:19:25.000 Maybe, but maybe babies die in drive-bys too.
00:19:29.000 What's realistic is let's look at this whole thing.
00:19:34.000 The reality that we...
00:19:37.000 Let's look at this whole thing and be honest about it and say, we woke up in the middle of a dream.
00:19:42.000 The American, whoever the fuck you are, the Japanese man who's 50 years old, who wakes up when his alarm clock goes off today and looks at this world, This world woke up in motion.
00:19:55.000 There's too many of them, first of all.
00:19:57.000 There's too many of them to ever communicate.
00:19:59.000 No one understands what the fuck anybody's saying.
00:20:02.000 There's too many different languages.
00:20:04.000 There's no universal acknowledgement of our plight.
00:20:07.000 And we are...
00:20:09.000 Headed to doom!
00:20:11.000 Ultimately, there's no way, if we continue along a certain path, that it doesn't completely explode in our face.
00:20:17.000 Whether it's overpopulation or whether it's pollution or nuclear disaster, there's a certain amount of stops along the way until the whole thing ends.
00:20:27.000 Well, I think I agree with you, and I think that Our generation, yours and mine, has come out of the pond.
00:20:34.000 And we've had a good life.
00:20:35.000 And I love this country because I came down here and built a...
00:20:39.000 I like your country better.
00:20:40.000 I know.
00:20:41.000 I do.
00:20:41.000 When the shit hits the fan, I'm moving to Canada for fucking sure.
00:20:44.000 I don't even care if it's Montreal.
00:20:45.000 I'll deal with that snow.
00:20:47.000 I'll take it, Toronto.
00:20:48.000 I'll get a snowblower and a warm coat.
00:20:50.000 But the thing is, is you sit there and you say, we came out of the pond.
00:20:54.000 We realize this shit is happening.
00:20:56.000 Yes, we want to live a good life.
00:20:57.000 I want...
00:20:59.000 Shit to get better precisely because I've had such a good life.
00:21:03.000 And I'm not a doom and gloom guy.
00:21:04.000 I'm a party guy.
00:21:05.000 I like to drink.
00:21:06.000 I like to travel.
00:21:07.000 I like to eat.
00:21:08.000 I like to do stuff.
00:21:09.000 I like to learn.
00:21:10.000 I like to go to all these different places.
00:21:11.000 The reason why I'm like, hey, hold on.
00:21:14.000 These guys want to nuke each other.
00:21:15.000 Or, hey, hold on.
00:21:16.000 The world is sinking.
00:21:17.000 Or, hey, hold on.
00:21:18.000 This shit's happening.
00:21:19.000 It's going to fuck everybody up.
00:21:21.000 Is because I like my life.
00:21:24.000 Is because I like guys like you.
00:21:25.000 Is because I like where we've gotten to to date.
00:21:29.000 The problem with it is...
00:21:31.000 Is that you sit there and you say, okay, I don't want the next generation to not have that, to not be able to go outside, swim in a river, go fishing, do all that stuff.
00:21:40.000 And right now we're at literally the sort of breaking point.
00:21:45.000 We're at that infection point of, we can fix it, we can solve it, we're smart, we're good, people want to do it.
00:21:54.000 And if you follow, I'm sure you do, the people who follow you, and if you look at what they say on Twitter, and you look at what they say on Facebook, People are fucking angry, and they're down, and they're happy.
00:22:07.000 They're not represented.
00:22:08.000 They're not represented.
00:22:10.000 And the thing is, what's happening, especially globally, let alone in this country, but what's happening globally is that the people with the power are disenfranchised because the systems that are in place are set up as such that they can't be represented.
00:22:27.000 So, What this is, is this is true grassroots democracy.
00:22:32.000 And by the way, I hope to God it continues and gets bigger and bigger.
00:22:36.000 And I was making a joke earlier, this is the first podcast from here.
00:22:40.000 And I'm like, I'm going to look back 20 years from now and say, this was the first podcast that changed the world.
00:22:45.000 Because this is the root of journalism, which is the root of democracy.
00:22:49.000 Well, I think that the people that are in the position of power that are doing these horrible things, We really need to figure out how to heal those motherfuckers.
00:23:01.000 I think we have to figure out how to get them the fuck out.
00:23:04.000 You've got to get them the fuck out.
00:23:05.000 You have to get them the fuck out.
00:23:06.000 We've got to discourage that type of behavior in the future.
00:23:09.000 I mean, if you want to be a real hippie and a...
00:23:14.000 A total idealist.
00:23:16.000 You would say that there's got to be a way that almost everybody can change and that these people that are in these positions of power that are looking at things like war and economic...
00:23:28.000 Attacks on countries or embargoes or all these different various things that people do that really can cause unbelievable, irreparable harm to communities and families.
00:23:38.000 We need to figure out a way to get those people to look at things differently and say, your motivation is off.
00:23:45.000 Your motivation is based on some ancient primate shit.
00:23:52.000 Where you were running away from Jaguars and you had to be the most vicious motherfucker to survive.
00:23:57.000 And that stuff manifests itself today, millions of years later, in the male dominance mentality.
00:24:03.000 And that mentality is not best suited for attacks against your fellow man.
00:24:08.000 And it can be conquered.
00:24:09.000 It can be conquered.
00:24:10.000 It can be understood.
00:24:11.000 It can be understood in your mindset.
00:24:12.000 You will be a happier person if you do not behave in that manner.
00:24:16.000 And you won't be any happier if you get more money.
00:24:19.000 There's a certain amount of money where it doesn't matter.
00:24:21.000 Well, I've got to say also that if you look at it and say, I want real people.
00:24:26.000 I want people like me who have had a drink too many, who've done a few drugs, who've done whatever, who've had a real life.
00:24:33.000 If you have guys like Romney who's like squeaky clean and whatever, I'm like, I don't want a robot representing me because I'm not a robot.
00:24:43.000 I'm flawed and fucked up and I've been through crazy shit.
00:24:46.000 He's way more flawed than you.
00:24:47.000 Well, see, but the whole thing is I want someone who's human.
00:24:50.000 I want someone who's been through shit and who smoked fucking dope when he was fucking nine years old.
00:24:56.000 You mean you want someone who's emerged?
00:24:58.000 I want someone who knows what the fuck is going on.
00:25:01.000 Romney could be saved with mushrooms.
00:25:04.000 Mushrooms and tie hookers and just get Romney on a fucking island.
00:25:10.000 And just give him some mushrooms and let him understand that this is a fucking dream, man.
00:25:15.000 This is one frame in an infinite movie that goes on forever.
00:25:19.000 And the only control that you have whatsoever is to enjoy it, to increase harmony, to spread love and happiness.
00:25:26.000 And listen to people.
00:25:26.000 The thing is, as you were talking about talking to shemales or talking to Taliban or talking to this or that, The thing is, if you just talk to these motherfuckers, everybody has a point.
00:25:36.000 Right.
00:25:36.000 Everyone has a point of view.
00:25:37.000 Everyone has a point.
00:25:38.000 And if you actually say, look, you know, by the way, for example, when I was in Pakistan, they were like, we are super mad that you let...
00:25:50.000 The Innocence of Muslims come out, like America, you know, sponsored that, whatever.
00:25:55.000 And you're like...
00:25:56.000 That's that video you're talking about?
00:25:58.000 And you say, you understand that there's millions upon millions of videos uploaded every day, every fucking day on YouTube.
00:26:09.000 There's no government regulation.
00:26:11.000 There's no, you know, Obama's not sitting there going, ha-ha, we really got him now.
00:26:16.000 And they could not believe that.
00:26:17.000 They were just like, no, you guys have done this thing and that's why we're shooting.
00:26:21.000 There were people killed and there's been, you know, violence because of this and now there's a whole, you know, because a lot of the people are illiterate that the imams say, well, America is doing this and this is part of their policy and whatever.
00:26:33.000 And you're like, this was just a bunch of fruitcakes who did a fucking thing.
00:26:37.000 And all of a sudden now people are dying and there's, you know, whole militias being mobilized because of this.
00:26:42.000 And at that point you're like, If people just actually fucking, you know, which I do, I say, look, I'm going to tell you, I live there.
00:26:50.000 I do this.
00:26:51.000 I have two of the most popular channels on YouTube.
00:26:53.000 People just upload shit.
00:26:54.000 It just fucking happens.
00:26:56.000 It's not like government policy.
00:26:58.000 It's not propaganda.
00:26:59.000 It's not this.
00:27:00.000 It's not that.
00:27:00.000 They don't fucking get it.
00:27:02.000 And if you just actually just said, look, dude, here's the way it is.
00:27:06.000 Here's the reality of the situation, which nobody does.
00:27:10.000 That's the whole fucked up thing.
00:27:12.000 Is nobody sits there and says, this is actually what happens.
00:27:15.000 This is the truth.
00:27:16.000 Well, you're incorrect.
00:27:18.000 It's not nobody.
00:27:20.000 It's you.
00:27:20.000 You do it, you motherfucker.
00:27:21.000 Your whole fucking channel does it.
00:27:23.000 What are you talking about?
00:27:24.000 There's guys like you.
00:27:26.000 There's the congressmen that are coming up, like Daniel Seaman, the congressional representative, or a candidate, rather, who is completely honest and well-read and young.
00:27:36.000 There's a whole group of people that are coming up now.
00:27:39.000 There's a bunch of people.
00:27:41.000 That are broadcasting, whether it's the Young Turks or whether it's any number, Alex Jones to a large extent.
00:27:48.000 A lot of what Alex Jones says, although absolutely ridiculed in the 1990s, shows to be true in 2012. I've been Alex's friend for a long fucking time.
00:27:58.000 And a lot of people think he's crazy, and he's fucking crazy.
00:28:01.000 That's why they think he's crazy.
00:28:02.000 But he's crazy in a beautiful way, and he's right a lot of the time.
00:28:05.000 And that's sort of understood now.
00:28:09.000 And there's enough information now that people have their head collectively cocked sideways.
00:28:14.000 I think the whole United States is like, wait a minute.
00:28:18.000 There's something I tweeted yesterday that someone tweeted me and I retweeted.
00:28:22.000 It was 33 different conspiracy theories that turned out to be correct.
00:28:26.000 Right.
00:28:27.000 And when you go and look at them and you go, oh, okay, this is just – this is sort of how it's always been.
00:28:33.000 So what we have to do is figure out how to get these people that are thinking this way in this crazy position of power where they – whatever group, however many, agree to do something – Totally immoral.
00:28:46.000 And for profit, I guess.
00:28:47.000 It's really the only real reason when it ever comes down to it.
00:28:51.000 We have to figure out how to reach people like that and to let them know that this is a false pattern.
00:28:57.000 Your mind is locked in some nonsensical thinking.
00:29:01.000 That is based on the predatory instincts of animals that had to survive from fucking cougars and jaguars and bears and shit.
00:29:11.000 There is a ruthlessness that's designed into the DNA to make sure that the animal procreates and that can be overcome.
00:29:19.000 And that we have to understand that the only way to true happiness is to look at each other collectively as if it's us living another life.
00:29:28.000 Look at every person you meet as if it's you living a completely different life.
00:29:32.000 And I agree with you 100% because...
00:29:35.000 Sounds like hippie bullshit, though.
00:29:37.000 No, no, but you look at you and you say, look, here's a guy, UFC guy, came up, Taekwondo champion, you're a fighting guy, all this stuff.
00:29:45.000 Obviously, we're two guys here sitting here, we're not hippies.
00:29:49.000 But what we're coming to is saying, look, we came up, you know, we came up hard, we fought, we did all this stuff, and now we're realizing this shit, and we're saying, hey, you know, we've seen this, we've learned, and this is why, to go back to it,
00:30:05.000 is I don't want politicians representing me who don't understand this.
00:30:10.000 Which is, I came up hard, I came up from the streets.
00:30:14.000 I learned this shit.
00:30:15.000 I learned it the hard way by going to these places.
00:30:17.000 And what I've realized is exactly what you said, which is unless we've overcome our base desire, which is, I hate you, I'm going to fucking bomb you.
00:30:28.000 We're all dead.
00:30:29.000 We're all dead because now it's not a knife.
00:30:31.000 It's not a gun.
00:30:32.000 It's not an RPG. It's not a tank.
00:30:35.000 It's a nuclear fucking warhead.
00:30:37.000 And when we start fucking trying to fucking be alpha male with a nuclear warhead, like AQ Khan, then we're fucking doomed.
00:30:45.000 Where's that guy?
00:30:46.000 Is he still alive?
00:30:46.000 He's still alive.
00:30:47.000 That motherfucker!
00:30:48.000 He's still alive.
00:30:49.000 Where is he?
00:30:49.000 Where is he?
00:30:50.000 He's in Pakistan.
00:30:51.000 Jesus Christ.
00:30:52.000 And he's the reason why there's the proliferation of nuclear fucking technologies.
00:30:56.000 Does he have like 20 bitches around him just dancing in their underwear at all times?
00:31:00.000 That's what I would do.
00:31:01.000 You'd think so.
00:31:02.000 But no.
00:31:04.000 Be a fucking man with it.
00:31:06.000 At least if you're going to be a Concord, be a fucking old school Conan.
00:31:09.000 He has a bunch of ISI guys around him at all times.
00:31:12.000 What are those guys?
00:31:14.000 So the ISI is the CIA of Pakistan.
00:31:19.000 And they started the Taliban.
00:31:20.000 And they are the guys who are basically running Pakistan.
00:31:23.000 And they are the guys who are becoming increasingly radicalized.
00:31:26.000 And they're the guys who are saying, we are going to bomb India.
00:31:32.000 We need to get those people all on mushrooms.
00:31:34.000 Well, what we need to do is just say, you're not allowed.
00:31:38.000 You're not allowed to blow up the world.
00:31:41.000 You cannot do it.
00:31:41.000 And by the way, if we had politicians who were doing the right thing, you would go to India, you'd go to Pakistan and say, you're not allowed.
00:31:49.000 Which means that we have to say, Russia's not allowed, we're not allowed, nobody's allowed.
00:31:54.000 Because, again, to go back to it, if you're playing roulette, and double zero means the end of the fucking world, you shouldn't be playing fucking roulette.
00:32:03.000 And so take that double zero off the fucking board.
00:32:06.000 At least if you're playing Russian roulette, you have five chances to not get shot in the head.
00:32:12.000 When you're playing world dominance, it's like, how many opportunities do you have to start a nuclear war?
00:32:18.000 Exactly.
00:32:19.000 It's really not a whole lot of bullets.
00:32:20.000 It's not a question of when, if it's a question of when.
00:32:24.000 Yeah, there's not a whole lot of chambers.
00:32:25.000 The whole thing is fucking ridiculous because it's people locked up in this idea that somehow or another conquering makes things better.
00:32:35.000 And somehow or another controlling the resources makes things better.
00:32:39.000 And there's all these observations now from people that are paying attention to what's going on in Afghanistan about minerals.
00:32:48.000 Minerals and how long they've known that Afghanistan is this incredible deposit of minerals.
00:32:54.000 Or Congo.
00:32:55.000 What's happening now in the Congo is 100% due to Coltan.
00:33:02.000 They wouldn't be fighting.
00:33:03.000 They wouldn't have all the money.
00:33:04.000 It's called Coltran?
00:33:06.000 Coltan.
00:33:06.000 Coltan?
00:33:07.000 Coltan is a rare thing that makes your iPhone, your Samsung, your iPad, they all need Coltan to actually work.
00:33:19.000 And the majority of Coltan actually is in Congo.
00:33:24.000 And so what's happened now is this continual warfare, you know, and it's I believe now the sixth bloodiest war in the history of humanity, is all happening because of iPads, iPhones, Samsungs, all these things.
00:33:38.000 We're buying them.
00:33:39.000 This is the whole thing of we're disconnected.
00:33:41.000 I mean, I grew up thinking, well, whatever happens in Africa happens in Africa.
00:33:44.000 That's their problem, not my problem.
00:33:46.000 And then you realize, oh, that fucking war is happening because I have an iPhone 5. That's the reality of the situation.
00:33:59.000 It's sort of analogous to the human experience if you really...
00:34:03.000 Boy, that sounds gay.
00:34:04.000 Hippie and gay at the same time.
00:34:07.000 We're really having a love fest here.
00:34:08.000 Trying to pick up a confused dude.
00:34:10.000 In the new studio.
00:34:12.000 But the human...
00:34:13.000 If you look at the human experience and you look at where we're at right now at the highest levels...
00:34:19.000 And let's perceive that the highest levels are innovation and technology and that the fact that we can broadcast this with minimal cost, even though it's kind of sucking right now, powerful AT&T. Why'd you get DSL? I don't know, man.
00:34:33.000 I had a fucking business manager handle this shit.
00:34:35.000 How old is this business manager?
00:34:37.000 I don't know.
00:34:38.000 Never met him.
00:34:39.000 Oh.
00:34:40.000 Listen, dude.
00:34:40.000 You need a young kid to do that shit.
00:34:43.000 I got shit I need to deal with.
00:34:45.000 This is not one of them.
00:34:46.000 You're throwing me off.
00:34:47.000 Where was I? Minerals, everything.
00:34:51.000 Whatever.
00:34:53.000 Is it important that I finish my sentence?
00:34:55.000 I have nothing to say, ladies and gentlemen.
00:34:57.000 I'm grandstanding, clearly.
00:34:59.000 I'm trying to somehow or another project better ideas.
00:35:04.000 Through whiskey.
00:35:04.000 Through whiskey and marijuana.
00:35:08.000 Allegedly.
00:35:09.000 I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing, folks.
00:35:13.000 I sound like Colin Quinn there.
00:35:15.000 You've got to irrigate the mind.
00:35:18.000 Yeah, that's important.
00:35:20.000 People who don't drink or have never been drunk, I don't really like you, nor do I trust you.
00:35:24.000 Okay, I'm going to be honest.
00:35:25.000 I trust drunks.
00:35:26.000 I even trust dry drunks.
00:35:28.000 You're just saying that because I'm here.
00:35:29.000 No, no.
00:35:30.000 I'm just being honest.
00:35:31.000 I appreciate sober people.
00:35:33.000 Don't get me wrong.
00:35:35.000 But if you have not at least experienced whiskey, with all the people raving about it, would you not dive in the waters at least once?
00:35:41.000 How stubborn are you?
00:35:42.000 You've never had a drop of alcohol.
00:35:44.000 Who are you partying with, man?
00:35:47.000 That's ridiculous.
00:35:48.000 If your friends have kept you from a drop of alcohol, they're assholes.
00:35:52.000 It's usually people that have had too many drops of alcohol.
00:35:55.000 It seems like everyone I know is in AA out here.
00:35:57.000 Well, you know what?
00:35:58.000 The issue is slightly biological and that's something that I'm willing to admit 100% because I have friends that I trust dearly, like Fitzsimmons.
00:36:06.000 Greg Fitzsimmons, Greg and I have been friends since we were in our early 20s.
00:36:11.000 I think we met when I was 21 and Greg was probably the same age.
00:36:15.000 Greg has always had—he's a legit alcoholic in the sense of he could have a drink today and he could be fine, but there will be a pull, a biological pull that's reinforced by his relatives.
00:36:29.000 It's reinforced by generations.
00:36:31.000 I have many friends that have this issue, and I do not discount it.
00:36:35.000 My friend Tate Fletcher, he's a brilliant guy.
00:36:37.000 And Tate has a problem with substances.
00:36:39.000 He cannot...
00:36:40.000 I go, could you even take a baby hit of a joint?
00:36:43.000 He goes, maybe, or I could wake up in an alleyway naked and not know what the fuck happened.
00:36:49.000 And I'm not willing to make that jump.
00:36:51.000 I'm not willing to take that chance.
00:36:53.000 There's biological weirdness.
00:36:55.000 People fucking get...
00:36:56.000 They die from peanuts.
00:36:59.000 A person can be allergic to peanuts and die.
00:37:01.000 I would never discount that.
00:37:03.000 But I think, generally speaking...
00:37:07.000 There's a mentality of non-chance-taking, boring bullshit that comes with the I've never had a drink people.
00:37:16.000 There's a few examples that are contrary, like Penn Jillette.
00:37:20.000 He's never had a drop of alcohol.
00:37:22.000 The only time he's ever had any sort of medication is when he's been injured after surgery.
00:37:27.000 Like some sort of a painkiller.
00:37:28.000 But he's a brilliant guy and I love talking to him.
00:37:30.000 He's one of the rare examples.
00:37:32.000 Most people that have never even been fucked up...
00:37:34.000 You never tried to get laid when it was preposterous.
00:37:38.000 You've never tried to pick up a girl where there's no way medically you can get an erection.
00:37:43.000 If you've never been 21 years old and thrown up in the backseat of a cab, who are you?
00:37:49.000 Who are you and who do you party with?
00:37:51.000 But I also think that it's...
00:37:52.000 Again, to go back to the people we're talking to is...
00:37:57.000 It's a way to sort of distance yourself from all the norms and to say, I'm going to question what the fuck's going on.
00:38:05.000 And maybe some conspiracy theories are not true, and maybe some aren't true.
00:38:09.000 But at least we have to question them.
00:38:11.000 Oh, for sure there's a lot that aren't true.
00:38:13.000 For sure there's not.
00:38:14.000 But we have to question them.
00:38:15.000 Yes.
00:38:16.000 And that's the whole thing.
00:38:17.000 We have to question shit.
00:38:18.000 That's what we are as humans.
00:38:21.000 We have to fucking question shit, and we also have to say, how do we get better?
00:38:27.000 It's a funny thing to say, but I'm not endorsing alcohol consumption, but there's a certain humility that comes from being an educated drunk.
00:38:36.000 You step back and kind of, you know, you just realize, like, look, this is all fun.
00:38:41.000 You know, like, Tony Bourdain.
00:38:43.000 You know Anthony Bourdain?
00:38:47.000 I've had the pleasure of having him on the podcast.
00:38:49.000 He's a guy just like you.
00:38:51.000 A regular dude.
00:38:52.000 You talk to him.
00:38:53.000 But there's a certain, like, having a drink with you, having a drink with him, having a drink with Anyone who's just a real guy, where there's a moment that comes, where you've had a couple of drinks, where you look at each other and you go, ah, we're fucked,
00:39:09.000 huh?
00:39:09.000 Who knows?
00:39:10.000 It's crazy!
00:39:11.000 But he's a perfect example of a dude who had a cooking show on to travel.
00:39:17.000 Well, before that, he's a chef.
00:39:19.000 Yeah, he was a chef.
00:39:20.000 Who wrote a book.
00:39:21.000 Kitchen Confidential.
00:39:22.000 And the book is so honest and crazy.
00:39:23.000 It told the truth.
00:39:24.000 It told the truth about what the hell happens in restaurants.
00:39:26.000 Exactly.
00:39:27.000 But he had a cooking show on a travel channel.
00:39:31.000 Nothing and nothing.
00:39:32.000 And he turned it into a political statement.
00:39:34.000 And he turned it into trying to tell the truth.
00:39:36.000 And he turned it into, we're going to eat some food.
00:39:38.000 But what the fuck is really going on with real people?
00:39:42.000 And I think, again, there's a whole movement.
00:39:46.000 There's you, there's him, there's me.
00:39:47.000 But there's like hundreds of thousands.
00:39:49.000 Millions of us.
00:39:50.000 There's millions of us.
00:39:51.000 They're just fighting their voices.
00:39:52.000 Just now, because of technology.
00:39:55.000 And I think that him, and I believe he built the Travel Channel, What about Bert Kreischer?
00:40:02.000 How do you feel about Bert?
00:40:03.000 BertBertBert.com?
00:40:04.000 Well, just to finish with Anthony Bernin, I would say that that guy went out into the world and talked about shit that you should talk about on a channel that would never talk about that shit otherwise.
00:40:20.000 And a channel, by the way, that's very conservative.
00:40:23.000 Owned by Scripps.
00:40:24.000 Yeah.
00:40:24.000 By who?
00:40:25.000 Scripps.
00:40:26.000 Scripps?
00:40:27.000 Yeah.
00:40:27.000 So travel channels owned by Scripps.
00:40:28.000 Is that like prescriptions?
00:40:30.000 No, it's like S-C-R-I-P-P-S. It's a very Christian fundamentalist.
00:40:34.000 And he takes a lot of heat.
00:40:36.000 And he gets a lot of shit.
00:40:37.000 And they tell him not to do stuff.
00:40:39.000 And he says, fuck you.
00:40:40.000 I'm going to do it anyway.
00:40:41.000 Because he wants to fucking tell the truth.
00:40:43.000 And I've got to give it up to him.
00:40:45.000 He has a lot of fucking courage.
00:40:46.000 In their defense.
00:40:47.000 In their defense.
00:40:48.000 I do understand that the Travel Channel has started to try to re-evaluate their position.
00:40:54.000 And maybe reach out.
00:40:55.000 Because I heard they're interested in Ari Shafir.
00:40:57.000 Because some of their executives saw him kill at the DC Improv.
00:41:01.000 And so they decided to look at him.
00:41:04.000 He opened the door.
00:41:04.000 Scripps is super, super conservative, super Christian.
00:41:08.000 Their poster child is a dude who goes out in the world and says, we'll eat some food, we'll cook some shit, but I'm going to tell you the fucking truth about what's going on.
00:41:16.000 You know what he did?
00:41:16.000 He said, I'm going to show you some cool shit.
00:41:19.000 I'm going to show you some cool music.
00:41:20.000 I'm going to show you some cool bands.
00:41:22.000 And people are going to talk about what's really going on.
00:41:26.000 And people are going to go, by the way...
00:41:28.000 Watch the Travel Channel, okay?
00:41:30.000 Burt Kreischer, I love him to death.
00:41:32.000 I would totally watch any show that he's on, but I never watched the Travel Channel before Anthony Bourdain was on.
00:41:38.000 I never even thought about watching it.
00:41:39.000 I don't know how I even tuned into his show.
00:41:42.000 I suspect that I was just channel surfing.
00:41:44.000 I was just flipping through channels and all of a sudden there's this guy talking about Vietnam and how much he loves Vietnam.
00:41:51.000 And I remember going, who is this crazy fuck?
00:41:53.000 Oh, Saudi Arabia, Liberia.
00:41:56.000 He's eating camels and he's loving it.
00:41:58.000 But most importantly, he approaches the whole thing with this really palpable feeling of humility and honesty and pie-eyed drunkenness on occasion.
00:42:11.000 It's not just admirable.
00:42:13.000 It's enticing.
00:42:14.000 It's attractive.
00:42:15.000 It pulls me...
00:42:16.000 You know, it's like your shows.
00:42:18.000 All of your shows, man.
00:42:19.000 I found out about Vice because of the Heinemann episode.
00:42:24.000 The guy who lives in the Arctic.
00:42:26.000 Where does he live?
00:42:27.000 Northeast Alaska or something like that?
00:42:29.000 He lives in the most remote part of the world.
00:42:35.000 He's the most remote human being in the world.
00:42:38.000 I have a message board on my website, and the message board is before Twitter.
00:42:43.000 It's been around since 1998. My friend Andrew started the message board, and it's been this incredible magnet for fucking weirdos and a lot of cool people.
00:42:55.000 But what's been really fascinating that Twitter sort of surpassed it in a way just because of the sheer access, but what my message board became was this strange area where cool shit would be drawn to.
00:43:10.000 So they would post these things, these threads about shit you would never find out on your own.
00:43:16.000 Just the average person is not connected to community.
00:43:19.000 You're never going to find it.
00:43:21.000 Why would you even look at Vice.com?
00:43:23.000 What would you be Googling that would connect you to this series?
00:43:27.000 Someone put up this link to this video and I watched this guy that's got frozen caribou hanging from a fucking tree and he's sawing them and cooking them and your guys that were there who were just blown away by this experience of hanging out with this dude who lives in a 100-foot square shack in the fucking most hostile environment known to man.
00:43:51.000 And to see that he was not, not only was he not a loon, but that he was, there was no narration.
00:43:59.000 The narration was just sort of describing how they got there and what was going on, but it was never any judgment on people or the scenario.
00:44:07.000 And what I found really fascinating about it, I was like, you got to know a guy with all the, and Heinemann has lived here for 65 years!
00:44:18.000 He's content, wandering the frozen countryside, hoping to spot a caribou.
00:44:25.000 Is he happy?
00:44:28.000 Only Heinmo truly knows.
00:44:30.000 You didn't do that.
00:44:31.000 You instead inserted intelligent people into an alternative sort of situation.
00:44:37.000 This sounds like we're belowing each other.
00:44:39.000 There's a lot of people right now that are going to be online like, Bro, I'm glad I didn't fucking watch this one live.
00:44:44.000 Well, no, but seriously, the thing is, it's because we practice a type of journalism called immersionism, where we go, we immerse ourselves in the actual story, and we just press record.
00:44:56.000 You guys changed this podcast.
00:44:58.000 I want you to know that for sure.
00:45:00.000 100%.
00:45:00.000 That episode and the subsequent episodes that I watched, all the different...
00:45:05.000 You guys changed.
00:45:06.000 Because I was like, this guy is fucking...
00:45:09.000 You're there.
00:45:10.000 You're actually there.
00:45:12.000 You know, you're really...
00:45:14.000 Right when I was making fun of kissing someone's dick, I kissed his dick somewhere.
00:45:19.000 But I will say, talking about Twitter is, after I do this podcast, you get so much response from people who give a shit.
00:45:29.000 And people who are...
00:45:31.000 Like saying this shit like the truth and it blew my mind and this and that and you realize like you know we're guys just you know talking about shit and whatever and they're going this is I learn more on that podcast and Fox and MSNBC and fucking CNN and everybody all put together and that's the tragedy it's it's great for us it's the tragedy because we're just regular dudes going okay this is what the fuck is happening I don't think it's a tragedy,
00:45:58.000 man.
00:45:58.000 I think it's the normal chain of progression, and I think it's a natural system.
00:46:05.000 And I think that you don't get to be you unless you've seen Burt Reynolds get a crazy facelift.
00:46:12.000 You don't get to be you until you've seen...
00:46:17.000 All the most preposterous shit that people have done.
00:46:20.000 You don't get to be you until you read all the crazy accounts of nonsensical violence on the internet, the crazy revolutions in Arab Spring and all over the world and all the things you physically experience by actually being in these places where there are chaotic events.
00:46:39.000 Events that are just uncontrollable by the population.
00:46:42.000 It's out of hand.
00:46:43.000 But it doesn't mean anything unless people watch it.
00:46:46.000 It doesn't mean anything unless there's an audience.
00:46:48.000 Right, but you're compelled.
00:46:50.000 You can't even take credit for what you're doing because you're compelled.
00:46:54.000 You're compelled by the natural order of the universe.
00:46:58.000 The natural order of the universe is to move in a progressive direction, in a more understanding and more comprehensive, enlightened direction.
00:47:06.000 That's all of our ideas.
00:47:08.000 The idea is not to maintain the science of the 1700s.
00:47:12.000 The idea is to figure out how to, you know, how to get on Mars and create an atmosphere so we can have a new planet in case this one gets hit by an asteroid.
00:47:19.000 The idea is to consistently move forward.
00:47:22.000 And I think we're just caught in the struggle of that happening.
00:47:27.000 And my real hope for the world, you know, all that shit about The people that believe that you can manifest reality, the secret, and the idea that your own mind, and the more you focus on things.
00:47:42.000 Maybe, maybe, maybe it's just the fact that you're not paying attention to what you could do positively, and that's what impacts the world.
00:47:51.000 And positively, what we've got to figure out how to do is to change the mindset of all the people that are in positions of power.
00:48:00.000 Instead of fighting them and attacking them, try to understand the fact that the human animal is incredibly frustrated.
00:48:10.000 We don't know what's going on.
00:48:12.000 We have these fucking bodies that are exactly the same as pre-internet, pre-movies, pre-cars, pre-planes.
00:48:20.000 And it's all happened so quickly all around us that we haven't had the chance to really, as a super organism, take in all of the knowledge and distribute it in a way that we govern over the consciousness of the population in a fair and ethical way that keeps everybody happy.
00:48:43.000 But I think, ultimately, that that is a possible scenario.
00:48:47.000 For sure.
00:48:48.000 It has to be.
00:48:49.000 It has to be.
00:48:50.000 If we don't believe that, then we're really fucked.
00:48:52.000 I don't think that dummies...
00:48:53.000 I don't think this is doom and gloom.
00:48:55.000 I think this is positive.
00:48:57.000 Because as long as we know what the fuck is going on, we can work towards doing something about it.
00:49:01.000 The problem is, is we didn't know what the fuck was going on because nobody fucking told us.
00:49:07.000 That's a perfect way of describing it.
00:49:08.000 That's a perfect way of describing it.
00:49:10.000 The real problem is that we were living in some crazy movie.
00:49:17.000 Since the 1950s, we have been locked into some sort of crazy version of the world that is in many ways based on fiction.
00:49:27.000 And the real issue is whether the world are the worlds.
00:49:30.000 Remember when the world are the worlds?
00:49:31.000 You gotta piss.
00:49:32.000 No.
00:49:33.000 You gotta go?
00:49:33.000 No, no.
00:49:34.000 What are you doing with your head?
00:49:35.000 I'm going to go get a drink, but I didn't want you to say that.
00:49:38.000 The War of the Worlds freaked fucking people out.
00:49:42.000 If you don't know what it is, Orson Welles in, like, who knows when the fuck it was.
00:49:47.000 Alex wants to get out of here, but it's not happening, bitch.
00:49:49.000 Take a seat.
00:49:50.000 Don't worry about your previous commitments.
00:49:51.000 They're not as interesting.
00:49:53.000 The War of the Worlds was the first time where human beings were...
00:49:59.000 Able to be tricked into thinking by Orson Welles that there was an attack by alien beings.
00:50:08.000 Like, people freaked out.
00:50:10.000 And it's really difficult to discern how much of it is bullshit, how much of it actually happened because they say there were suicides.
00:50:18.000 Who knows what the actual statistics were?
00:50:19.000 You know, we're talking about...
00:50:21.000 The 1930s or whatever the fuck it was.
00:50:23.000 But the reality is that human beings were not prepared for the information that was coming at them.
00:50:30.000 They weren't prepared.
00:50:31.000 That wasn't a regular part of their life where they had grown accustomed to having This fakery planted on them.
00:50:41.000 It's not like today with the onion.
00:50:44.000 Every now and then I'll retweet an article and it turns out to be some new fake onion.
00:50:48.000 There's a bunch of dudes who think that the onion is cool so they create their own bullshit news story.
00:50:55.000 Those motherfuckers!
00:50:56.000 And you retweet them.
00:50:58.000 But that's to be expected.
00:51:00.000 The people that existed Before the internet or before...
00:51:06.000 Those are the people that sort of set the scenario.
00:51:08.000 They set the momentum of our culture and they did not have access to the shit we have now.
00:51:15.000 The idea that we're so hung up on the brilliant wisdom of some people that lived in the 1700s and created the Declaration of Independence, which by the way was written on fucking hemp, the first draft.
00:51:26.000 The fact that we're committed to the ideology, these people that lived...
00:51:30.000 They didn't have cars, man.
00:51:32.000 Or 2,000 years ago, that's when religion started.
00:51:35.000 And ever since then, everything else is a cult.
00:51:37.000 But 2,000 years ago, that's when we knew what the fuck was going on.
00:51:41.000 Well, I got a joke in my act about Romney, that it's a cult when you know who wrote it.
00:51:44.000 He's a cult.
00:51:47.000 It's not like we have to go back to some fucking shit they found in Qumran that was written on animal skins.
00:51:53.000 We know the guy.
00:51:54.000 His name was Joseph Smith, and he was only 14. I mean, this is not that confusing.
00:52:00.000 You're a fucking cult, man.
00:52:02.000 And he found the Book of Latter-day Saints in his backyard.
00:52:06.000 But you know what's beautiful about the Mormon cult is that what I've learned from my personal experiences Is that there are certain people in this life, and although I don't feel it's justified to lie to people, there's certain people who do get by better if they follow at least a scaffolding of morality.
00:52:26.000 Something that lets them believe that at the very top there's a cherry, and that cherry's God, and he's right up there on top of the whipped cream, and you just gotta get to him.
00:52:35.000 I think that's the problem, is that if you look at this, we were talking about global warming earlier, and you say, okay, Yeah, shit's fucked up.
00:52:45.000 The world is thinking, we're not going to believe in that because of God.
00:52:50.000 And you're like, yeah, but you're going to die and your kids are going to die and it's going to be bad if we don't just say this is the thing that is bad, that's happening and it's happening.
00:52:59.000 No, because it's God and whatever.
00:53:00.000 And they want, and I think it's this yearning to have, there's a rational being who has a plan for all of us.
00:53:08.000 Well, the fact of the matter is, We are creating our reality and we are not a rational entity.
00:53:15.000 Humanity isn't rational.
00:53:17.000 Humanity is irrational and complex and fucked up and weird.
00:53:21.000 But at some point somebody's got to come up and say, yeah, we're irrational and we're weird.
00:53:26.000 Given.
00:53:27.000 But there are certain things that we do which are self-destructive, and by the way, they have to stop.
00:53:34.000 For example, if you have the ability to destroy the fucking world, which is my world, you're destroying my world, right?
00:53:43.000 And you're, you know, halfway across the world over there.
00:53:46.000 If that's even a possibility, no is the answer.
00:53:51.000 No, I'm not going to let that happen.
00:53:52.000 So that's why I keep preaching on this stuff because when I went there and I said...
00:53:56.000 Bill Clinton said it's the end of the world, by the way.
00:53:58.000 He did?
00:53:59.000 Yeah.
00:53:59.000 What did he say?
00:54:00.000 So when he left the presidency, he said that is the reason why cargo war, the war between India and Pakistan, was the glimpse of the end of the world.
00:54:09.000 And then he got his dick sucked by a youngin'.
00:54:11.000 Holla!
00:54:15.000 So for me...
00:54:16.000 That's why.
00:54:16.000 That's why he takes blowjobs from interns.
00:54:18.000 If the fucking end is near, why not?
00:54:21.000 At least enjoy that sweet release.
00:54:22.000 Eat, drink, and be merry.
00:54:27.000 Eat, drink, and be merry.
00:54:29.000 The problem with that is, is when we went back, we realized, oh, it's fucking way worse than when he said it was the end of the world.
00:54:35.000 So, hold on, hold on.
00:54:37.000 The whole thing is, though, is we can stop it.
00:54:40.000 We can say, fuck it.
00:54:42.000 Fuck it.
00:54:43.000 We can't just, we just have to say there can be no, you know, intercontinental or ballistic or nuclear warheads.
00:54:53.000 There can be no, because what you're saying, just so everybody understands, what you're saying then is, As long as that technology is there, it will go to Iran.
00:55:02.000 It will go to Pakistan.
00:55:04.000 It will go to Congo.
00:55:06.000 It will go to Libya.
00:55:08.000 It will go...
00:55:09.000 Because the technology is there, right?
00:55:12.000 And what happens when Qaddafi...
00:55:14.000 Now Qaddafi is gone, but what happens when Qaddafi has warheads?
00:55:17.000 What happens when AQ Khan has warheads?
00:55:20.000 What happens when Iran has warheads?
00:55:22.000 When Israel attacks Iran, because they can't have a nuclear Iran, What's going to happen?
00:55:30.000 What will happen when they attack Iran?
00:55:33.000 Everybody knows.
00:55:34.000 Everybody knows what will happen when they attack Iran.
00:55:36.000 And it's going to be a fucking catastrophe.
00:55:39.000 However, it's nothing.
00:55:41.000 It's zero compared to what's happening in India and Pakistan.
00:55:45.000 Israel and Palestine is like, you know, like, I guess when you're like 20, 21, and you have that one couple that just won't fucking break up.
00:55:55.000 And they keep fighting, and they keep asking you for advice.
00:55:58.000 You know, what do you think I should tell her, bro?
00:56:00.000 What do you think I should tell her?
00:56:01.000 And I'm like, I think you should fucking run!
00:56:03.000 I know there's people now.
00:56:06.000 Fucking stupid shit.
00:56:08.000 Well, yeah, there's a lot of them that use that as a distraction, right?
00:56:11.000 Don't they?
00:56:12.000 Aren't all conflicts ultimately some form of distraction?
00:56:17.000 Because if the Israelis looked at the Palestinians that are suffering and these poor people that are trying to make this sort of...
00:56:26.000 Home for themselves in this Gaza region, this very dangerous and hostile region.
00:56:32.000 What if they treated them all as Israelis?
00:56:34.000 What if they treated them all as just fellow humans?
00:56:37.000 What if instead of lumping them into groups based on ideology and who believes what old crazy shit, what if they just looked at them as, that could be your cousins?
00:56:46.000 I mean, that would instantly change the whole thing.
00:56:49.000 The idea that we need to exist in a conflict scenario is the problem.
00:56:55.000 That's the real issue.
00:56:56.000 I don't agree with that.
00:56:57.000 I have a neighbor.
00:56:58.000 I don't even know this motherfucker.
00:56:59.000 He wanted me to chop down my trees, but he's still nice.
00:57:02.000 I say hi to him when I drive by.
00:57:04.000 The only conversation I've ever had with this guy was in conflict.
00:57:08.000 I don't want to hate the dude.
00:57:09.000 I want him to be happy.
00:57:10.000 Just don't be crazy.
00:57:11.000 Leave me alone, you motherfucker.
00:57:12.000 I'll give you a hug.
00:57:13.000 Come here, give me a hug.
00:57:13.000 What are you, nuts?
00:57:15.000 Come on, let's go have a drink.
00:57:16.000 The whole world can approach other human beings like that.
00:57:23.000 It's just we have to get past this ingrained scenario that we have in our head, which is that war is a part of nature, and nature It's insurmountable.
00:57:33.000 It is what it is.
00:57:35.000 You've got to accept men are going to want to be philanders and there's going to be conquests and swords and fucking rockets.
00:57:42.000 But if you go to Mexico and you see what's happening there now, it's the rule of the thug.
00:57:47.000 If you go to Pakistan, it's the rule of the thug.
00:57:49.000 If you go to Congo, it's the rule of the thug.
00:57:51.000 Why?
00:57:51.000 Because conflict breeds lowest common denominator.
00:57:55.000 It breeds, I have a gun and I'm willing to shoot it.
00:57:59.000 Those aren't high-thinking people.
00:58:02.000 Those aren't people thinking we're going to save the world.
00:58:04.000 Those aren't people thinking the world is sinking.
00:58:08.000 Those aren't people thinking we could destroy the environment by having a nuclear standoff.
00:58:15.000 What they're thinking is, I'm going to gain power because I have a bunch of guys, you know, young guys, generally young men, with guns.
00:58:24.000 If you look at what's happening in Europe right now, this is what's terrifying, is you go to Spain, and you say Spain, you know, old country, educated country, you know, EU country.
00:58:34.000 50% of young people are unemployed.
00:58:37.000 So you've taken away their future.
00:58:39.000 We were just shooting there.
00:58:41.000 Six million people came out and fucking shut the whole country down.
00:58:44.000 That's people who are pissed off.
00:58:46.000 Really pissed off.
00:58:47.000 While you were filming there, what happened?
00:58:49.000 Riots.
00:58:50.000 What were they about?
00:58:52.000 Well, they're about anti-austerity.
00:58:54.000 So it's young people saying we're fucked.
00:58:56.000 But I mean, there's riots in Paris.
00:58:58.000 I don't know what austerity means.
00:58:59.000 What does that mean?
00:59:00.000 So, you know, Spain is fucked economically.
00:59:03.000 Greece is fucked economically.
00:59:04.000 What's happening there, this is what's really terrifying, is that in – so, prolonged economic crisis, so the recession.
00:59:11.000 Now, the last time this happened was the depression.
00:59:14.000 Now, what happened because of the depression was the rise of radical political solutions, i.e.
00:59:19.000 communism or fascism.
00:59:24.000 Yeah.
00:59:39.000 The Golden Dawn, they have...
00:59:41.000 Do you just say the Golden Dawn and we'll pretend?
00:59:43.000 Because it's ridiculous, whatever it is.
00:59:44.000 Golden Dawn.
00:59:45.000 Yeah, okay.
00:59:45.000 They do the Nazi salute.
00:59:47.000 They have the swastika as their thing.
00:59:49.000 Imagine if they had a big fucking thing on their shirt.
00:59:51.000 It was a big golden dick.
00:59:53.000 Frothy dongs.
00:59:54.000 Would it be hard or would that be offensive?
00:59:57.000 For a military, it would have to be like...
00:59:59.000 Well, they have the support of the military and the police.
01:00:02.000 And everywhere we went was anti-immigration, anti-EU, anti-this, anti-that.
01:00:08.000 And what's happening in Europe, this is what's terrifying is, because you have an economic crisis, you have the rise of communist and fascist.
01:00:14.000 So, for example, in France, you have a very far-left government, and the second party is, Front National, fascist.
01:00:22.000 And you sit there and you say, okay, the exact same political situation, exactly, That started World War II is happening today in Europe.
01:00:31.000 Not fucking Africa, not Pakistan, not India, Europe.
01:00:35.000 And it's happening in Germany, it's happening in Scandinavia, it's happening in Spain, it's happening in Italy, it's happening in Greece, it's happening in all these countries.
01:00:42.000 And you sit there and everyone's just watching as exactly the same fucking thing that started World War II to the T! To the fucking T! Riots in the streets, ultra-right, ultra-left, wing parties fighting each other, radical parties getting more and more power,
01:00:58.000 and you're saying, what the fuck do we have to do?
01:01:02.000 Do we have to relive it again?
01:01:04.000 It's exactly the same thing that started World War II. Is that just a natural cycle of humanity?
01:01:10.000 I mean, if you look at societies, you look at cultures, and you look at this rise and fall, when you go to the Acropolis and you see ancient Greek ruins, and you wonder, why are these...
01:01:21.000 Regular houses like really close to this incredible structure.
01:01:24.000 What happened?
01:01:25.000 Is this inevitable?
01:01:27.000 Are we in this constant state of developing consciousness and one of the big wrestling matches of trying to sort of innovate and accomplish higher levels of Of society and culture is that you have to meet some sort of opposition.
01:01:45.000 And if you don't meet opposition, you won't have the motivation to really accelerate things as fast as the technology around you is accelerating.
01:01:54.000 You can completely get out of hand like it is right now.
01:01:57.000 Like it is right now.
01:01:59.000 With dictators and crazy fucks controlling nuclear weapons.
01:02:03.000 It's almost like Those things have to be in place in order to motivate the highest levels of thinking.
01:02:09.000 Well, you know, the cliché is those who don't understand history are doomed to repeat it.
01:02:15.000 And what's interesting is when you go talk to young people in Europe and you say you understand that this is exactly the same thing that happened at the start of World War II, they're like, they don't know what you're talking about.
01:02:28.000 Yeah.
01:02:29.000 And they don't understand history.
01:02:30.000 The other thing is they don't understand war.
01:02:32.000 And if you ever go look at war, and this is what I was talking about with Iraq, is war isn't the manly, you know, I got my shoulder nicked by a bullet or, you know, I come back with a Purple Heart.
01:02:43.000 War is a catheter bag.
01:02:45.000 War is I don't walk again.
01:02:47.000 War is I'm irradiated.
01:02:48.000 War is I'm fucked up in the brain for the rest of my life.
01:02:52.000 And those who don't understand war are doomed to repeat it.
01:02:55.000 And by the way, hawks and people who say, let's go to war, let's go to war.
01:02:59.000 Go to war.
01:03:00.000 Go see a war zone.
01:03:02.000 It's fucking tragic.
01:03:04.000 It's tragic from start to fucking finish.
01:03:07.000 It's babies with no fucking fathers.
01:03:10.000 It's every man fucking killed.
01:03:12.000 It's rape.
01:03:14.000 It's, in some cases in Africa, cannibalism.
01:03:17.000 It's literally the lowest form of what we are as humanity.
01:03:21.000 And people who say, let's go to fucking war, let's go to war, you should fucking realize that.
01:03:26.000 Before you go to war, young dudes that we know are going to come back and their dick isn't going to work again, they're never going to shit right again.
01:03:34.000 All this stuff and you go, okay, that's what these people...
01:03:39.000 Are proposing in Europe, in India, in Pakistan, in Africa, in Southeast Asia, in some cases in South America, and in some cases here.
01:03:48.000 That's what people are proposing.
01:03:49.000 You're like, what the fuck?
01:03:51.000 I would just like to take anyone who wants to say, let's go to war, I'd like to take them to a war zone.
01:03:55.000 Because if you take people to a war zone, first you puke, then you cry, and then you freak the fuck out.
01:04:00.000 How many people do you think in positions of power actually go to war zones?
01:04:04.000 None.
01:04:05.000 Wow.
01:04:06.000 And some must.
01:04:09.000 I mean, you see photos.
01:04:10.000 You don't, but you don't see what it really does.
01:04:13.000 So you occasionally meet the wounded, but you don't go to the battlefield.
01:04:16.000 The reason why I do what I do is because I've been to war zones, And I've seen shit that makes your stomach fucking turn, and you'll never sleep right again.
01:04:27.000 Because when you see what war really fucking does, and talk to Marines, and talk to Rangers, and talk to guys who come back from war.
01:04:33.000 Talk to them before they go, and then talk to them when they come back.
01:04:37.000 It's a completely different fucking conversation.
01:04:39.000 I have, and it's very similar to people that I know that have been to jail.
01:04:44.000 I have a friend, we were friends when I was a teenager, and he was always crazy.
01:04:50.000 And he just vanished.
01:04:52.000 We didn't know what happened because I just knew him from the martial arts gym that I trained at.
01:04:56.000 But he came back three years later with all these crazy scars all over his body.
01:05:01.000 He had been in prison.
01:05:02.000 And he was a completely different human being.
01:05:05.000 It was like before he was this lovable troublemaker and three years later the lovable troublemaker was gone.
01:05:12.000 There was a psycho.
01:05:13.000 There was a guy who had He would fight for survival.
01:05:16.000 He was like a wild animal.
01:05:18.000 You won't come back normal.
01:05:20.000 Well, I've met friends that have gone to war, too.
01:05:23.000 I've had quite a few friends that were in the military and went over and came back, including a buddy of mine who went over as a mercenary.
01:05:31.000 It's a weird conversation when you're alone, sitting down on a curb somewhere going, so what did you have to do?
01:05:38.000 What was it like?
01:05:40.000 How much did they pay you?
01:05:42.000 Do you want to do it again?
01:05:43.000 Are you done?
01:05:43.000 I'm done.
01:05:44.000 Are you sure?
01:05:45.000 What the fuck?
01:05:46.000 There's realities in this world that I think most people in their day-to-day existence do not consider as a part of the equation.
01:05:55.000 And those realities are a real problem.
01:05:58.000 They're a real problem for our culture.
01:06:00.000 Because not only are they disgusting, but they're avoidable.
01:06:04.000 Most of them are avoidable.
01:06:06.000 We have a distorted perception of what can be done with the resources that we have in place.
01:06:10.000 And I think that distorted perception is based on greed.
01:06:13.000 Yeah.
01:06:14.000 When you see war and the aftermath of war, which is, again, to describe it, I'm not even going to do it justice, but milky eyes from chemical weapons, people with their limbs hacked off systematically, women who have been raped 50,
01:06:34.000 70, 100 times.
01:06:38.000 Incredibly scarred people, and by the way, if you go over, especially if you go over from our culture, spend three years in that culture, and look, it's chronicled after World War II, after Vietnam, after Afghanistan, after Iraq, and you go to these things, you will never be normal again.
01:06:54.000 You will never, either mentally or physically, you will never be normal again.
01:06:58.000 So, why do we still fucking rattle our sabers?
01:07:01.000 Why do we still say we're going to fight?
01:07:03.000 Why do we still say we're going to fuck each other up?
01:07:06.000 And the thing is, is if you look at it and you say, okay, why the fuck did we go to Iraq?
01:07:11.000 Why the fuck were we there?
01:07:12.000 All these fucking guys, all these Marines, all these army guys who come back fucked up, why did you come back?
01:07:18.000 Why did you come back so fucked up and you're never going to be normal again?
01:07:20.000 Why?
01:07:21.000 Why?
01:07:22.000 Was it Al-Qaeda?
01:07:24.000 Was it 9-11?
01:07:25.000 No.
01:07:30.000 Jesus Christ, Shane Smith, you motherfucking downer.
01:07:33.000 I was going to go home tonight and maybe watch a little Boardwalk Empire.
01:07:39.000 Reminisce about how fucked up people were in the past.
01:07:42.000 That's your network now.
01:07:44.000 That's the network.
01:07:44.000 By the way, we're doing a new show.
01:07:45.000 And the other thing is, I will say this.
01:07:48.000 Next year we're launching a news channel in 18 countries, 18 languages, 24 hours, news around the world.
01:07:54.000 Why?
01:07:55.000 Because news is so fucked that we're going to do news on our own.
01:07:59.000 Fuck it, fuck you, fuck everybody.
01:08:01.000 We're going to do it on our own way.
01:08:02.000 That's a lot of fucks, buddy.
01:08:03.000 You sure you want to throw all those out there?
01:08:04.000 I don't know if that's good karma.
01:08:06.000 Brian?
01:08:07.000 No.
01:08:08.000 It's not.
01:08:08.000 Brian says it's not a good thing.
01:08:09.000 You've got to be careful with what you project.
01:08:11.000 And by the way, I have to go now because we're launching our news channel and we're going to go do the deal right now.
01:08:17.000 And I wanted to come here before we did that because this is what I enjoy doing.
01:08:21.000 Shane Smith, you, sir, are a bad motherfucker.
01:08:24.000 Thank you very much.
01:08:25.000 It's been an honor once again to have you on the show.
01:08:29.000 Honestly, you've changed the show.
01:08:31.000 I would like to say this is the first fucking podcast from the new...
01:08:36.000 The new studio, which I fucking love.
01:08:39.000 This is it.
01:08:39.000 I love it.
01:08:40.000 This is day one.
01:08:41.000 Our internet sucks a fat dick.
01:08:43.000 Joe Rogan!
01:08:44.000 We will fix it, though, folks.
01:08:45.000 And if it's possible, we will fix it, goddammit.
01:08:48.000 We will get a satellite for the roof, okay?
01:08:51.000 That's even worse, I think.
01:08:52.000 I think that's way worse.
01:08:53.000 We're going to make this shit happen.
01:08:54.000 Shane Smith, you bad motherfucker.
01:08:55.000 Follow him on Twitter.
01:08:56.000 It's ShaneSmith30.
01:08:58.000 Why?
01:08:58.000 Because Shane Smith...
01:09:00.000 Anonymous is a greedy bitch and doesn't want to give up his fucking name.
01:09:04.000 Listen, Shane Smith, all I want you to do is go and watch a few videos of the real Shane Smith in the fucking Congo, and you, sir, will give up your Twitter name, okay?
01:09:14.000 There is more important things than you.
01:09:17.000 Can't you be Snuggle Bunny 69 or some shit, son?
01:09:23.000 Go to Vice.com and be informed in an honest and real fashion, you fucks.
01:09:29.000 And one day, soon, there will be a show produced by Vice that will be on HB motherfucking O. And what is that?
01:09:38.000 What is it called?
01:09:38.000 It's called Vice.
01:09:39.000 It's called Vice.
01:09:40.000 That's all you need to know.
01:09:41.000 Why fuck around and get creative and call it Snowflowers through an extra dimension.
01:09:47.000 It would have been better if I planned that out in advance.
01:09:49.000 I would have had some better things to say there, but I ran into a wall.
01:09:53.000 Shit.
01:09:54.000 Time to pull myself out with August 1st, Brian Redband.
01:09:59.000 August 1st.
01:10:00.000 Did I say August?
01:10:01.000 Why do I always say August and December?
01:10:03.000 I might be a little drunk.
01:10:04.000 August and December, to me, for whatever reason, they blend together.
01:10:09.000 If it's in August and you're listening to this in the future, and it's the apocalypse, and you go to the Moody Theater in Austin doesn't even exist anymore.
01:10:17.000 I'm sorry.
01:10:18.000 I just went brain.
01:10:19.000 I stumbled over my words.
01:10:21.000 December 1st, it will be Duncan motherfucking Trussell, Brian motherfucking Redband, and me.
01:10:27.000 And we'll be at the Moody Theater in Austin, Texas, which is, if you're listening live, which I don't think anybody is at this point, it will be this Saturday night, December 1st.
01:10:37.000 Come get your freak on with us in Tejas.
01:10:40.000 Thank you to Onnit.com for sponsoring this podcast.
01:10:44.000 Thanks for providing...
01:10:46.000 The best supplements available at the best prices available and the ethics behind it to give 100% money back guarantee on the first 30 pills.
01:10:57.000 Nobody's trying to rip you off.
01:10:58.000 They're just trying to sell you the best vitamins, the best nutrients.
01:11:01.000 Use them in accordance with a healthy lifestyle as Shane Smith drinks whiskey and allegedly smokes cigarettes.
01:11:09.000 Trust me, bitches.
01:11:10.000 It doesn't matter, okay?
01:11:11.000 You can have all the kale shakes of the world.
01:11:13.000 Your shit will end!
01:11:16.000 It will end.
01:11:17.000 But what I'm trying to do is have the part that's not ending as fun as possible.
01:11:24.000 And what I found is that a little kale shakes actually help.
01:11:27.000 It makes you feel better.
01:11:28.000 It increases your mood.
01:11:29.000 A little exercise.
01:11:31.000 A little vitamins.
01:11:32.000 Some kettlebells.
01:11:33.000 See those shit by your feet?
01:11:35.000 That's what I throw around, son.
01:11:37.000 That's manly as fuck.
01:11:38.000 Those are called kettlebells.
01:11:39.000 Those are 60 pounds.
01:11:40.000 Don't worry about it.
01:11:41.000 I got those.
01:11:44.000 This show's also sponsored by DeathSquad.tv.
01:11:49.000 My little buddy Brian Redband's Buy the t-shirts.
01:11:53.000 Podcast Network, which, by the way, includes one of the best podcasts on iTunes right now, which is Kevin Pereira's Pointless.
01:12:01.000 He is fucking brilliant.
01:12:03.000 He's awesome.
01:12:04.000 He's a beautiful human being.
01:12:06.000 He's got awesome bone structure.
01:12:07.000 He's a sexy bitch.
01:12:08.000 Pouty lips.
01:12:09.000 And he's got it all going on.
01:12:11.000 I love the fucking shit out of that dude.
01:12:13.000 And he is hooked up to the Death Squad Network.
01:12:16.000 And you can get his podcast online.
01:12:18.000 I'm on iTunes along with Ian Edwards.
01:12:22.000 What's it called?
01:12:23.000 Preposterous.
01:12:24.000 Preposterous.
01:12:24.000 Sessions.
01:12:25.000 Another fucking beautiful human being.
01:12:27.000 You know, one of the coolest things about having this podcast, as I said before, is that I get to have these beautiful conversations with people like you, Shane Smith.
01:12:33.000 Love it.
01:12:33.000 Love it.
01:12:34.000 Or people like any number of you fuckheads have been on my show.
01:12:38.000 All you crazy bitches, including John McAfee, who will be on tomorrow.
01:12:42.000 Oh, shit.
01:12:43.000 Yeah, fascinating conversationalist with a brilliant technological genius.
01:12:48.000 I just said fascinating conversationalist.
01:12:51.000 I think it might be time to pull the fucking plug, Brian, while you let me ramble!
01:12:55.000 Thanks to Ting.com.
01:12:57.000 T-I-N-G. Rum and Ting.
01:13:00.000 If you go to, I don't know what it is, Ting.joe something, whatever.
01:13:04.000 I said it earlier.
01:13:06.000 I'm not even supposed to say it twice.
01:13:08.000 Listen, there's no structure to any of these commercials, but one thing that you can guarantee, ladies and gentlemen, we will never, ever, ever have something that we promote on this show that we do not believe in.
01:13:19.000 We're not trying to rip you off.
01:13:21.000 We're just trying to keep this bitch rolling, okay?
01:13:23.000 Alright.
01:13:24.000 As-salamu alaykum, you dirty fucks.
01:13:27.000 Tomorrow, John McAfee.
01:13:29.000 Wednesday, somebody.
01:13:30.000 I can't really remember who.
01:13:32.000 Duncan Trussell!
01:13:33.000 Oh, that's right.
01:13:34.000 Oh, the motherfucker!
01:13:35.000 Duncan Trussell's in the house!
01:13:37.000 And we'll see you fucks at the Moody Theater Saturday night.
01:13:40.000 Holla!
01:13:41.000 Holla!