In this episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast, the comedian and podcaster joins us to talk about his new comedy special, "It's A Pointless Pointless Thing," and we talk about how he got into comedy, and why he thinks it's the best thing he's ever done. We also talk about nootropics and why they're a good thing, and how they should be your number one drug of choice if you're looking for a good night of sleep. Joe also talks about his upcoming comedy special "When Louis C.K. Does It" and how he's going to do it better than the last time he did it, which was in front of a live audience at a coffee shop in New York. Joe also gives us some tips and tricks on how to get started with your own comedy set up and how to make a stand-up comedy set. We also discuss his new standup special, which is coming soon, and what it's like to do standup at a comedy club and do it the way he does it. And of course, we have a special guest, Deadmau5. . We hope you enjoy this episode, and don't forget to subscribe to the pod! and leave us a rating and review it on Apple Podcasts! If you like what you're listening, share it with a friend, and tell us what you think about it! and we'll send it to a friend who needs a good friend who's listening to the show. Thank you so much for listening to this episode! - it's a great episode. - Joe Rogans Experience Podcast! XOXO, Joe Rogan Experience Podcast - The Best Podcast of the Podcast! - Tom Green and Steve O'Donnell "The Best Podcast I've Ever Had" - The JOE ROGAN Experience Podcast by the JOE Podcast - & the JOB PODCAST by Steve Orsini Thank You, Steve O "The JOB Pod, the Podcast Hosted by JOB JOB'S BODCAST, the podcast that's Best Podcast by JOE'S MOST COFFEE AND THE JOBODO'S DOGAN EPISODE EVER, JOB RODAN AND THE MOST ACTUAL JOB O'ROGAN'S EPISODES AND THE KELLY JOB AND THE BEST JOB EVER?
00:03:02.000Like, what the fuck is the message here?
00:03:05.000Can I just promote that we have a great podcast with Tom Green and Steve-O at DeathSquad.tv right now that we just put, it has Kat Von D and Deadmau5 on it.
00:03:51.000When Louis C.K. set out to do it, I think if you have to look at the best comics in the country right now, I'd say Louis C.K. is right at the very top of the heap.
00:04:02.000So when Louis C.K. puts a comedy special out and it's five bucks, you can't make yours six.
00:04:07.000You've got to do five bucks too, stupid.
00:04:45.000He just got an iPad and Apple TV, so now he's all appling it out.
00:04:50.000So I send him it, and it goes to his email.
00:04:53.000He just clicks on it and downloads it, and then he can just, you know, stream it right to his TV. It's great.
00:04:58.000I always have that uncomfortable moment when I have to talk to a dude after he's seen my act for the first time, especially like an older guy.
00:06:12.000And that's the one thing that always bothered me about comedians, that they don't know too much about performance art.
00:06:19.000Especially when the cameras are rolling.
00:06:22.000Everybody thinks they're great, and then the cameras turn on, and they stand like a fucking mummy.
00:06:27.000So I really wanted to give a real edgy rock and roll special and...
00:06:33.000You know, as you've met before, my sons, you know, LA Rocks opens the show.
00:06:40.000Eleanor Kerrigan, you know, who opens my shows, is in the special, which you never even see an opening act in a one-hour special.
00:06:49.000And it's just from the second it starts to the second it ends, it's just exciting and it's fucking funny.
00:06:57.000You know, and that's what I wanted to deliver.
00:07:00.000I wanted to give people something that, you know, especially, you know, the way the world is today, the whole political correctness fucking shit, you know, and I wanted, I made sure there is nothing politically correct about this special.
00:07:15.000Because when comics are being put on trial, they're telling a gay joke or a black joke, and now the whole world, what do you think?
00:07:25.000When TMZ stop and you go, what do you think of Daniel Tosh saying this joke?
00:07:54.000And we're not running for office with comedians.
00:07:57.000And the idea is that when someone says something offensive that's a joke, the idea is that somehow it's the exact same thing as saying something offensive about a person, whether it's a racist thing, Or a gay thing for just being cruel.
00:08:11.000We're not in the street having an argument and calling somebody a name.
00:08:17.000And people, you know, this is a time where people need to really laugh.
00:08:21.000You know, I really wanted the New Year's Eve spot because I also know, you know, especially because that hurricane happened on the East Coast.
00:08:31.000And I know a lot of people don't go out.
00:09:01.000And you're seeing somebody that won't hold back no matter where.
00:09:05.000You know, the first time I even did Vegas years ago for the Comedy Store, when the Comedy Store was at the Dunes, I got fired the second night, you know, for language, you know.
00:09:42.000I prepared for it in Vegas and around the country, but I did, you know, this past year, I did 28 weeks in Vegas.
00:09:48.000You know, I just wanted it tight because as good as you think you might be when the cameras are rolling, like I said, you are going to fuck up a little.
00:09:57.000You know, like I was doing this one bit.
00:10:01.000Where I left out a whole chunk of the bit because I was so into like performing for the crowd that after the show was over, you know, the producers were like, you know, my wife, she goes, you left out this, this and this, you know, but that was the warm up show.
00:10:17.000You know, and then the second show I came out to just annihilate the crowd and the crowd was, you know, it was bedlam.
00:10:42.000You know, I mean, just by the response of the people.
00:10:46.000You know, years ago, you know, when I would say certain things with women, you know, it was the, you know, that's wrong to say, you know.
00:10:55.000And today, when I tell them what piglets they've become through the years, now they've got their fists pumping in the air like, yeah, dice, dice!
00:11:18.000They're the ones that wrote the material, you know, that, you know, in this day and age, you know, I had a call from a friend of mine that was with a girl, went out with her, thought she was a sweet girl, and, you know, they wound up just doing everything imaginable to each other.
00:11:33.000And he tells me, so I call her the next day, you know, to see how she's doing, you know, letting her know, like, it's not forgotten, like, I want to see you.
00:11:42.000And she goes, I'll call you right back, and she never even called me again, he said.
00:11:48.000But that's how things have changed, that they've become so aggressive, you know, that you can't go by the face.
00:11:54.000You can't go by, oh, she's got that girl next door look.
00:11:58.000You know, and the next thing you know, she's a contortionist for you, you know, wrapping her feet around the back of her neck while you bang her.
00:12:13.000You know, I haven't hit the contortionist thing, but, you know, I always thought a woman in the bedroom or, you know, in a subway, wherever you might be banging her at the time, you know, A dressing room, whatever.
00:12:29.000You know, should be the kind of woman she wants to be.
00:12:32.000Like, that she doesn't have to hold back.
00:12:34.000Because I always felt like a lot of relationships, you know, like I'm married now for the third time and I feel a lot of relationships start, you know, splitting apart because People aren't honest at the beginning about what they like, how they like to be.
00:12:50.000You know, years ago, a woman wouldn't let you know all these little things that might, you know, push her buttons.
00:12:56.000And sooner or later, she's doing it with some other guy because she's now afraid to tell you what she's about.
00:13:02.000And, you know, I would always let a woman know, just be the pig that you are, if I had to say it comedically.
00:14:38.000But that's, you know, but that's what I talk, you know, when I'm on stage, it's a different side of me.
00:14:43.000It's, you know, it's, you know, an animal unleashed that when I'm on a stage, I could just have the freedom to say things the way I see it and paint these crazy, almost like pornographic, comedic cartoons for people.
00:15:03.000You know, when you see a couple, and you do, you know, we're similar in that thing.
00:15:06.000You say what you feel on stage, and whenever you see those couples that look at each other and laugh, those are the couples that go, how does he know?
00:15:30.000I was with a contortionist recently, and I thought it would be amazing.
00:15:34.000I mean, I always pictured it would be amazing, but she's always just really sore, and she always has a fucked up chin because her chin's always on the floor and shit.
00:17:16.000That is a weird position to put your body in.
00:17:20.000That's not a position I could get into, I don't think.
00:17:22.000And then in sex, you just don't think about it.
00:17:24.000Like, yeah, their legs bend really far back when you're putting them up above your legs, but you're not going like, all right, now, can you bend this backwards?
00:17:30.000I just want to make it a meatball or something.
00:17:32.000You mean you don't do stretching exercises with your chick before you begin?
00:20:01.000All right, but what I'm saying is, out of one side of your mouth, you're talking about dating, and on the other side, you're showing girls, you know, twisting themselves into pretzels.
00:20:11.000But that wasn't really, like, a sexual thing.
00:20:13.000No, no, but it can be, is what he's saying.
00:20:45.000I really try to stay grounded in what I do because it does feel a little crazy right now with what's going on, like you said, about a resurgence.
00:20:54.000Well, you seem real excited about comedy again, too.
00:20:58.000I've watched a lot of the specials, and when I spoke to Showtime about this, You know, I had a couple rules because, you know, I even told my director, Scott Montoya, I said, look, you know, you're gonna go through something now.
00:21:13.000This isn't gonna be like the other specials you've done.
00:21:16.000You're gonna, you know, your hair's gonna change color because of this.
00:21:20.000You know, you're gonna go through it with me now.
00:21:22.000You're gonna be a different man when you come through this.
00:21:26.000And what was funny is, When we were going to do the special, he spoke to Joe Diaz.
00:21:34.000He told me, he goes to Diaz, he goes, I'm thinking of doing a special with Dice.
00:23:09.000You know, I did the, you know, like the Governors, all those clubs.
00:23:13.000You know, but Vegas was like a steady thing.
00:23:16.000It almost became like my comedy store.
00:23:18.000You know, I was at the Las Vegas Hilton for a while working on it, and then we went the Riv before the Hilton, and then we went back to the Riv, because I was never into the room at the Hilton to start with, but, you know, I have a...
00:23:33.000You know, investors in the show, and you know, we tried it.
00:23:36.000But The Riv was a great room to really just work it out, do as long a set as I want, and really just make everything tight and develop the material with an audience that's coming to see me.
00:23:47.000So when you have the people that are paying to come see you, You know if the material is good because that's the fans now.
00:23:54.000When you go on places like the Comedy Store, you're going to get those people that look at you and go, what did he just say?
00:24:06.000I thought that was a brilliant idea to do it at the Riv for that reason, that you would get all your people there, but also because the place has so much fucking history.
00:24:17.000Think of the people that perform there through the, you know, from Sinatra to Sammy Davis to, you know, comics like Milton Berle and, you know, Jack Benny, you know, who personally I wasn't ever even fucking into, because, like I say, I wasn't, I was never that much into stand-ups.
00:24:33.000But, you know, when you're on a stage that, you know, Sinatra was on, I did a lot of rooms like that in Vegas.
00:24:38.000I did, um, before they knocked, uh, what was it?
00:24:46.000And that was one of the best stages because that stage, you know, you had the stage that you're on like this, and then it had, uh, what's it called?
00:24:55.000Like a runway that went right through the entire audience.
00:24:59.000And they don't build stages like that anymore.
00:25:03.000So I was lucky enough to play some of those.
00:25:07.000Isn't it crazy with those old Vegas hotels that when they're done with them, they explode them?
00:25:12.000It's crazy because, you know, I think, you know, I know a lot what goes on in Vegas and like these people that just bought the Sahara want to make it like more of a boutique hotel again, you know, for high rollers, not a lot of kids,
00:25:28.000you know, not a thousand floors up, you know, a smaller place where people really feel that old school Vegas feel.
00:25:51.000You know, so that's why a lot of comics are moving there, you know, and that's why a lot of, you know, you see people like Cher performing there.
00:26:27.000So I really want to do that big tour again.
00:26:31.000And I don't know how, you know, the kind of rooms I'll do yet, but I mean, just on things that are on sale already, they're going through the roof.
00:26:39.000You know, and the special hasn't aired, but people know it's coming.
00:26:43.000And, you know, ever since I did Entourage, I have this whole new audience.
00:26:56.000You know, when I see guys preparing for specials, but just fucking around on stage, that bothers me.
00:27:02.000I'm like, they all want to be superstars, they all want to fill, you know, the Staples Center, but nobody's putting in the work to do that.
00:27:21.000When I was coming up, you weren't around, right?
00:27:24.000So, you know, you had myself, you had Sam Kennison who was screaming his head off, and then one night I walk into the store, And I'm like, I'm seeing, you know, just style-wise, almost a blend of Kennison and me coming through you,
00:27:40.000but even more intense when you would scream it.
00:27:59.000Because nobody came along since, you know, like, I did an album called The Day the Laughter Died, because Rick Rubin, who produced five of my albums, you know, he did like, you know, he was the one that brought rap to the scene.
00:28:12.000He's the one that brought the Black Crows and, you know, bands like that.
00:28:17.000I mean, he produced, you know, Rolling Stone albums.
00:28:20.000You know, and he said to me, you know, in the early 90s, he'd go, you're the end of comedy.
00:33:41.000So those friends that are with him now, these buddies of 20 years, you know, that night they're going, come on, asshole face, let's go have a drink.
00:33:50.000And it's funny the next day even, maybe even a week later.
00:33:54.000But three years later, when they're calling your house and the kids are picking up the phone, they're going, yeah, put asshole face on the phone.
00:34:00.000That's when the guy's going, why did I ever say a fucking word at that show?
00:34:04.000Because now forever, he's asshole face.
00:37:18.000So I said, Happy Face, I go, you know, with my shows, I don't like, you know, we were talking about him, like, working for me, because I had Club Soda Kenny, who's like 6'5", big, you know.
00:37:28.000And I said, so I looked at Happy Face like he's the sniper.
00:37:32.000You know, they'd never see him coming.
00:37:34.000I go, but we don't like to hurt anybody.
00:37:36.000I go, so what I'm going to do, I'm going to try to get past you, and you've got to stop me without hurting me.
00:38:51.000You would think, like, when I lived in Boston and we were at Stitches, Stitches is when, that's where I did my first open mic, and I had been really inspired by you, really inspired by Kennison and a few other guys, and I was really,
00:39:07.000like, looking forward to doing some, you know, trying to do some stand-up comedy.
00:40:10.000When we were in Boston and we were starting out and we were like looking at the face of comedy, the comedy store was always Mecca.
00:40:16.000That was always like that fucking place where you'd make the pilgrimage and everybody would go see the stage where you performed, Kinnison performed, Richard Pryor and Letterman.
00:42:42.000But it was like, the place was like crackling.
00:42:45.000It's like the magic of all those sets was like in the walls.
00:42:48.000And with the store, you ever notice you could go there some nights, you know, those Sunday, Monday nights, and it's as fun as could be and crazy.
00:42:55.000And then there were certain nights when you come there like that, and just the vibe is bad.
00:43:55.000It was just about, you know, that everyone was saying, oh, it's so sad to watch this poor old man, you know, and, like, he's getting robbed and this woman's just here for his money.
00:44:06.000And I'm like, don't you think he knows?
00:46:47.000And it was either he went on first or I went on first.
00:46:50.000And, like, to end the show sometimes, if he'd go on first, you know, I'd be on stage, and, you know, once he'd get bored with it, he'd throw a chair at me on stage, and then the whole fight would happen on the stage where Carl LeBeau would jump, and you would just see who's ever in the audience,
00:48:37.000And it was funny, what happened was, I went back to Madison Square Garden in 2000. And it was Don's job at the time to come there, because he really wanted to see it, with my wife and my sons.
00:50:02.000At that time I had Eddie Griffin with me.
00:50:05.000Yeah, so Eddie Griffin was like the real opener.
00:50:09.000So what would happen is I'd give Don 10 minutes right up front.
00:50:13.000So we'd be on a big tour bus traveling the country.
00:50:18.000And one time he's on the bus and he's like, you know how he gets down on himself?
00:50:22.000You know, like, almost like that, he's not crying with tears, but I'm going, well, Don, it's because the crowd doesn't respond the way he wants, you know?
00:50:32.000Because he would come out singing, uh, Tire Yellow Ribbon, you know, you know, with the, with the music over it and get the crowd clapping and, So now the song ends, and then he goes into another one.
00:52:30.000Yeah, because, you know, it was a part of Mexico that we actually thought that the director was going to have me stopped at the airport.
00:52:39.000You know, so, you know, we're thinking, all right, how am I getting, because you're not allowed more than, like, $10,000 in cash, and this was a lot of money.
00:52:47.000You know, so he was taping it with this, like, paper tape to my chest, to my thighs, you know, that when I got home, And when we're going through the airport, I'm going, they're going to stop me.
00:52:59.000I'm going to be in jail, and whoever stops me is going to be rich.
00:53:04.000But they didn't stop us, and now I get home, and I take off my shirt, and my wife sees all this money taped to my chest, and she's going, What is that?
00:53:43.000Garlic bread and coca-cola with purified ice and we wouldn't eat till the next day at the same time because we figured we'd make it the middle of the day because we're only getting that one meal.
00:53:53.000We're not eating any of the food there.
00:57:23.000I go, I'm not going to do a fucking thing you say.
00:57:25.000I go, and don't ever tell me what to do again, ever, in front of the camera, which Don Barris is falling down laughing as he's making our little documentary movie with my camera, because I was always filming.
00:57:37.000Did he literally say, you'll do as I say?
00:58:04.000No matter what the guy did for his main profession, he goes, you're telling your director, the guy that's supposed to tell you what to do, Don't ever tell me what to do again.
00:58:16.000But that's his only job right now, is telling you what to do.
00:58:20.000I go, yeah, but you heard what went down, you know, and he agreed with it.
00:58:24.000And then I decided to direct part of the special.
01:00:22.000Anyway, so me and Dobson were good friends and decided to play chicken with the golf carts.
01:00:28.000And I turn at the last second, and my golf cart gets completely destroyed, and Frank goes flying out of it, because he's with me going, what are you doing, as we're going towards each other?
01:00:39.000And I'm going, just stick with me on this.
01:00:41.000He goes, I don't want to stick with you.
01:02:54.000You know, and the funny thing about that was, I might have even talked about this on your show, that he would have been the perfect guy, you know, when I was doing the arenas, you know, to open those shows.
01:03:06.000You know, because people did like him on the special, but like I said, not everybody becomes a megastar.
01:03:15.000You know, but he's a great comic, and because he had, you know, he started going on radio shows and saying my real last name, and I'm like, what's the problem?
01:03:23.000A Jew from Brooklyn can't be a tough, good-looking guy?
01:04:38.000You know, and I would do all these Travolta, but after the impressions, when I came to the Comedy Store, After I did, I got a shot on Don Kirshner's rock concert and I did that whole act.
01:04:49.000But now it was about the acting thing and I was thinking, well, nobody's gonna buy me to do Travolta or Stallone.
01:04:57.000Do you know what kind of nuclear arsenal of a joke You have in your wheelhouse, if you just did it, with you doing an impression of Travolta and have some massage bit.
01:05:12.000Do you know with that impression how good that bit would be?
01:05:15.000I know you don't want to do it and add luck out of, you know, courtesy to Travolta.
01:08:03.000You know, his own jealousy would overcome him, I guess, but...
01:08:07.000He missed out on the greatest gig in the world, you know, doing these arenas, because he is an Italian from Philly.
01:08:14.000I mean, I did the Spectrum three times, you know what I mean?
01:08:17.000And he would have been great in those rooms, so I would book Lenny Clark, and Lenny Clark wound up, I'll never forget, I did the Universal Amphitheater, and Lenny calls me up and he goes, you know, can I have some people come to the show?
01:08:30.000And I'm going, Lenny, that's what it's all about.
01:08:32.000Like, why wouldn't you be able to have people come to the show with 6,000 people, you know?
01:12:28.000You know, Halloween, there's Dom I Rara just fucking around on stage.
01:12:33.000And I'm like, these guys just don't get it.
01:12:35.000Because I knew when I would be in front of that camera, That the only thing I needed to worry about was playing the people and the people at home.
01:14:04.000I spoke to Showtime, they're into it, but first I gotta do this.
01:14:09.000And really, I think people are just gonna be fucking thrilled with this.
01:14:13.000You know, I was thrilled with the end result.
01:14:16.000L.A. Rocks just rocks the room, which was a little scary to me because when I saw the audience, you know, my boy, just like comics, now you got, I think we used 18 cameras, you know, for the shoot.
01:14:29.000So, you know, you know what I'm talking about.
01:14:32.000Just the pressure of, you know, producer, director, all the people involved in the special.
01:14:38.000And, you know, my kids came out, you know, Eleanor introduced them, and they just rocked the room and the crowd went nuts because I'm worried that they're not going to let them get started.
01:16:48.000You get so used to talking to people, you get so used to doing things like live, that when I did the special in Atlanta, it was the most natural I'd ever felt being on stage.
01:17:50.000Well, I am so happy that there's still guys out there that are doing anything controversial.
01:17:57.000Because I think this is such a strange time when it comes to comedy.
01:18:01.000You know, there's been so many from the Tosh thing to the Tracy Morgan thing to, you know, just fill in the blank of any comedian that says anything.
01:18:10.000The Gilbert Godfrey thing when he got in trouble for a lot of shit.
01:21:30.000You know, it wasn't like, all right, I do A, B, C, D, and I'm done.
01:21:34.000You would just go, and I'm going, kind of, what is this guy taking for that energy?
01:21:40.000I'm watching you today talk about the different vitamins and everything that you're selling, and I'm going, he's taking something that could really make...
01:21:50.000I'm thinking maybe I should take some of those fucking vitamins because you could really go for a long time at top volume.
01:21:57.000Yeah, it's not just about taking vitamins.
01:22:03.000No, but I mean, the energy, that's what I love, because, you know, when somebody's putting out that kind of energy, it's watchable.
01:22:09.000Well, you know, that's a good point that you brought up earlier we didn't touch back on, but the idea that there's something wrong with you if you're moving around or, like, putting out a lot of effort.
01:22:18.000There was a time in comedy where guys, like, didn't respect anybody who didn't just stand still.
01:22:53.000Do you remember when it was like a thing amongst comedians that they didn't respect guys who put forth too much effort?
01:22:59.000Well, when I came to the comedy still, because I had some, you know, at that time with the cassette tapes, I had my music on tapes, to do Travolta, and I would do the Grease Lightning number.
01:23:10.000I felt like the Serpico of the comedy store because comics would go, you know, this is the music store, not the comedy store.
01:24:19.000I think, like, first of all, as I've gotten older and been doing stand-up longer and longer, the more I've appreciated the art form of it, you know, whether it's the style that you do or the style that...
01:25:31.000What I'm saying is that there's a lot of guys that became Seinfeld-like.
01:25:36.000There was a lot of very Seinfeld-like observational guys that I don't know if they would have been that way if it wasn't for Jerry, because Jerry had a very specific style that a lot of those clean guys imitated that style really clearly.
01:28:07.000And I go, you know, Larry Miller's the guy that got me into the comic strip when I started out, you know, and that's where it all started with the monologist.
01:28:15.000I've always hated that whole idea that there's like a good way to do comedy and then there's an easy way to do comedy.
01:28:23.000Because why is it that when I would go to see a guy like you or watch a guy like Joey Diaz, why is it that I laugh so hard?
01:28:52.000You know, it's a different mindset, education-wise.
01:28:56.000I understand all that, but it's reservations.
01:28:59.000It's like they're reserved and uptight, whereas when you see someone like you or someone like Joey Diaz saying something completely outrageous, they can't go with it.
01:30:23.000For about six years, till around 95. And that's when it didn't go sour.
01:30:29.000I mean, you know, at that point, you know, the movie career was sort of non-existent, you know, other than B-movies because of the backlash of my stand-up and the press.
01:30:39.000And so there were no big movies coming, you know, after Ford failing, you know.
01:30:45.000But even with the arenas, I would do cut-down arenas, like 10,000 seats a night.
01:31:52.000And, you know, by the time I was 12 years old, I was into all this stuff from doing impressions to playing the drums to, you know, that type of thing.
01:32:03.000When I got into comedy, and I saw the kind of guys you're talking about, very straight monologists, you know, I just wanted to be an actor and, you know, use the comedy stage to develop my acting chops, and the dice thing happened, so I decided,
01:32:19.000well, if I'm going to stay in this game and be a comic, I want to create the most visually exciting comic people have ever seen in the world, ever.
01:32:29.000You know, and honestly, you know, when you see the special, and I got great respect for you and what you do, but you're going to respect the special.
01:32:38.000No, but I mean, you'll see what I mean, because I deliver exactly what, you know, all these fans I've had through the years want to see from me.
01:32:47.000And I like giving them what they want to see.
01:32:49.000I don't want to come up there all cleaned up with maybe...
01:32:53.000You know, not a tie, but you know, a sport jacket and just black pants.
01:33:01.000You know, I look good enough to dress in it.
01:33:04.000You know, so why not just deliver what they want to see and just pound them over the fucking heads with the filthiest shit that I could come up with because we're living in the filthiest time with the filthiest fucking people.
01:33:17.000Yet the backlash is the strongest that it's ever been.
01:33:20.000You know, but I don't care about the backlash anymore.
01:33:24.000Years ago I did because I didn't get it, you know, because guys came before me, everybody from, you know, Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor, guys.
01:33:32.000So I'm going, what am I doing any different than them?
01:35:37.000Yeah, I do have strong rules in that way.
01:35:38.000You know, like what happened with the hurricane.
01:35:40.000There's no jokes for me when it comes to that stuff.
01:35:43.000You know, because, you know, people are getting killed, and there's families that are mourning these people, so it's like, where do I have the right to make fun of that?
01:35:51.000You know, so I try to stay away from that kind of stuff, but when it comes to sex, come on, it's just sex, so it's okay.
01:35:57.000Did you ever feel like at a time that you ever crossed the line, though, like, did you ever say anything, whether it's about immigrants or gay people or anything?
01:36:05.000No, not when it comes to people, you know, like, you know, You know, when I make fun of Asians and call them Chinamen, you know, it's just funny.
01:36:22.000Well, if it was an angry Chinese dude, though, staring at you while you were talking about that.
01:36:26.000You know what, I do it right to, you know, I talk about fat girls and sometimes I got chicks in the front row And I'm going, alright, so how much does the fat girl I talk about have to wait a night?
01:36:37.000Because I've had some beasts sit in the fucking front row.
01:36:40.000And so you have to double her fat girl's weight.
01:36:41.000But like my wife says, fat girls love me because I talk about them.
01:36:44.000But, you know, when I'm talking about a chick that's bigger than the bed I'm fucking her on, You know, it's funny.
01:36:50.000You know, because no girl in the crowd is going to go, well, I'm not bigger than an Eastern King.
01:37:44.000Yeah, and this 86, she was like, you know, I know they're not, whatever part of America, I don't follow the map that much with the geographical shit.
01:37:52.000But she sounded Southern, you know what I mean?
01:40:03.000And he just fucks with every single comic, and he sits there from like 7 o'clock, whatever, that open mic show, all the way to like 2 in the morning.
01:40:23.000Well, the other problem is when someone before you doesn't deal with a heckler and then you've got to go up and then it's already out of control because they already feel like that's a part of the show.
01:40:42.000Sort of going through the motions, and it's not very good material, and for whatever reason, they don't have any talent, for whatever reason.
01:40:49.000And you'll see them go on stage, and then these hecklers start eating them up.
01:40:53.000And then you have to go up and back clean up, you know, clean up on aisle nine.
01:41:42.000You know, and, you know, those kind of things are like an honor at that time.
01:41:47.000You know, and, you know, that's how you got to meet some of those guys.
01:41:50.000Like, you know, and Murphy was always like, and I didn't understand it at the time when he would be like nervous to go out there like on a Monday night in the main room.
01:42:50.000Yeah, because you need an animal to follow an animal.
01:42:52.000Not only that, it's good for you to go on after someone strong because you realize you can't have any fluff in your act, you can't have any bullshit, you've got to cut right to the funny stuff, you've got to impress them right away, get them right off the bat, hold on to them.
01:43:07.000It's a good exercise in learning, especially when they loved the guy before.
01:43:27.000When Martin was in his prime, I'll tell you, Martin did not have as long a prime as a lot of people did for whatever reason, and he got into movies, and he kind of doesn't do as much specials anymore.
01:46:01.000You know, and then they want, you know, it starts with the pictures, and, you know, I'm a comic, and, you know, they want to be buddy-buddy, and I can't, you know, I don't work that way.
01:46:09.000Yeah, some guy hit me with a fucking sales pitch the other day after a show.
01:46:15.000Yeah, they don't let you come down from the show.
01:46:17.000Yeah, but I was taking photos with this whole line of people, and this guy just starts rattling off the sales pitch, and just...
01:46:23.000I mean, it's going on for like several minutes, and I'm just supposed to listen and start up and this and that.
01:46:47.000Like, you know, when you grow up and all you're doing is looking down at your phone, You know, when it finally, you hit that age where you have to start communicating face to face with people, they don't know how to do it.
01:47:33.000There's definitely a lot of that going on.
01:47:35.000There's a lot of people that are growing up in a society that is more and more encouraging people to control themselves and And to calm themselves down and to not have as much fun and to be more conscious of how other people are going to view things and be more sensitive.
01:47:50.000If a kid has a fucking personality in school, they want to put him on Ritalin.
01:48:14.000It's not the best way to learn, by far, by any stretch of the imagination.
01:48:18.000A best way to learn would be some sort of a one-on-one instruction where, you know, you get to explain to them things over and over again, and you get to answer all questions.
01:48:27.000But I will say, when we went to school, at least you could have a personality in that classroom.
01:48:32.000Today, if you're not just quiet and sitting there, like you're saying, you know, you're not a good student.
01:51:45.000Well, you and I have always gotten along.
01:51:46.000And I think a big part of it had to be that I was a huge fan when I was a kid.
01:51:52.000No, but it's like you brought up last time about the first time we talked because, you know, I was starting to know your history a little with the TV show and stuff.
01:52:00.000And that's why I spoke to you about the road.
01:52:02.000You know, I was like, you don't go on the road?
01:52:58.000But there's a lot of it that I actually sit in front of a computer and write.
01:53:01.000I think to get the best results, I like both.
01:53:04.000I like actual writing, sitting down writing things out, and then I like performing.
01:53:09.000Yeah, my son Max, he loves to write it.
01:53:11.000I just think that when you take a lot of time, when you sit in front of a computer taking a lot of time, you're going to come up with more possibilities than you will in the moment.
01:53:21.000But I think it's not an either-or thing, rather.
01:53:25.000I think for comedians, I think it's important to both write, to sit down and actually work on your shit by yourself, and to do it on stage and just ad-lib and fuck around.
01:55:48.000If you come up with something fantastic when you're writing for something, you're going to go, you know what, I'm going to put this on the side.
01:56:42.000You know, verse, you know, the bald monkey, whatever the fuck they want to call it today.
01:56:47.000You know, like I'll just call him up and I'll start coming up with stuff and he'll just add these things and I go, why don't you do that for you?
01:57:34.000I went a couple years ago and I had to do another morning show.
01:57:40.000You know, and I was getting heavy into the technology stuff about the phones, this and that.
01:57:44.000So as I'm driving there, he's talking to me.
01:57:47.000He goes, all I want you to say, if you bring up technology, is that you don't have a BlackBerry, and the only thing you want black is laying underneath you, and it's got a big fat ass, and the only thing you want buried is your face in it.
01:58:51.000If they know it's you, it's Andrew Dice Clay.
01:58:53.000But 8 in the morning, when people are shaving and getting ready for work, and there's a black woman on screen with me, right next to me, they're looking like, what the fuck is this?
01:59:06.000So today when I did this other, you know, Fox News, I was nice.
01:59:12.000You worry about them sabotaging you or setting you up or, you know, like ready to go after you?
01:59:17.000You know, those kind of shows, they're always very cool with me, so I always felt bad about the Blackberry joke because I wasn't looking to offend anybody.
01:59:26.000You know, and to me it was a funny joke.
01:59:28.000And Wheels told me to say it, which they should ban him.
01:59:31.000They should understand, first of all, that you're a dirty comedian.
01:59:34.000You've always been, and they shouldn't be shocked by that.
01:59:36.000But I'm also an adult that shouldn't be listening to my friend, you know, telling me to do this joke on the way to the radio, the TV station.
01:59:54.000I remember that time when you were on CNN. Well, that guy had it coming.
01:59:57.000That was ridiculous, but it was great.
01:59:59.000That was also a good viral video for you because it was clear that it didn't make any sense that this guy was saying that you ran a gym for a while.
02:00:09.000Well, I just did another CNN thing that will air on Saturday that actually Alan Duke Was the interviewer and Tom Green produced it.
02:04:14.000Well, everybody wants to think that just you have to have all of your information and you have to have all your ducks in a row and your fax check to be on television.
02:05:33.000And I wish Eleanor was here to tell the story because when you're sitting there doing the interview, behind you, you know, it's in New York and it's just a full floor of people with computers on the desk.
02:05:49.000So Eleanor said, when you first cursed, she goes, you're talking about a couple hundred people on this floor with computers.
02:05:58.000Everything stopped and they all just looked up at their computer.
02:06:02.000And then it continued, and then everybody leaned forward to go, is this really airing right now?
02:06:09.000They couldn't believe it was airing, and then we just ran out of there and got in a cab like we just robbed a bank.
02:06:17.000Well, CNN is not broadcast television.
02:06:21.000So CNN is not held to the same restrictions that the FCC imposes on NBC or CBS or ABC. That's a cable.
02:06:28.000So when you're on cable, you can say shit.
02:06:48.000You know, you could have one of those situations, but if you clearly, like, this fucking asshole over here, and like, you know, clearly, like, that today, I think, is like, that's a serious fine.
02:06:59.000I think that's like a quarter million dollars, and I think you can...
02:22:11.000Watching people out there just trying to catch as many salmon as they can freeze because they have to realize that it's going to be winter for eight months.
02:23:39.000The problem is, what I think is that all their natural needs have been taken care of, as far as gathering food, having a place, a shelter, being protected from the elements.
02:23:49.000They don't have to worry about that shit.
02:27:06.000You know, when she was telling people about salt, but you shouldn't have any salt in your diet, and I was like, it's a central mineral, stupid.
02:30:30.000Because I did film a lot of stuff career-wise.
02:30:33.000There's this young filmmaker, his name's John Myers, and he's putting together, he's logging all my footage now to make a documentary movie.
02:32:23.000Well, yeah, I got pretty aggressive with some guy in the front row that Wanted to talk when I'm filming, and I had to threaten him, but I left it in.
02:32:33.000Because I know people watching are going to look and go, he's threatening to choke this guy.