In this episode, the boys talk about their favorite movies and tv shows, Thor getting a haircut, and how to get a tattoo. Also, we talk about how much we love Bert Kreischer and why he should shave his hair. We also talk about the new Death Squad movie and how it's going to take over the world. And of course, we get into a little bit of everything else. Enjoy the episode and don't forget to subscribe to the podcast on your favorite streaming platform so you never miss an episode! Don t forget to leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE so we can keep giving you the best reviews and the most honest and unfiltered reviews we can get. Thank you so much for being a part of this community and supporting us. We really appreciate it. Love ya, bye! -The boys. -Jon Soraya & Brian Enjoy! Jon & Matt Jon Mike Ben Jake Chad Chris Jason Michael Sam Jack Evan Andrew Matthew Will Cassiopeia Justin Kevin Joe David Tyler John Nick Brad Brandon Alex Kelsi Daniel Brian Burt Tim Chels James Ian Patrick Jared Christian Bobby Carl Austin Zach Connor Jordan Cody BOB Emily Dan Julian Josh Jeff Alyssa Shane Ty Tom Canfield Luke Thanks to our first episode of the first episode, & much more! We hope you enjoy it! And we hope you all enjoy it more than you can relate to it, we are not just because it's funny, but it's not too funny, it's just like that it's so good, not too good, but funny, not funny, and it's more like it's good enough, so it's better than that's gonna get better than the good, we can be more like that, we're not going to make it like that in the next one?
00:08:04.000I'm a big fan of movies and cars and paintings and anything that you do that expresses whatever you have inside of yourself through some medium.
00:08:15.000Whether it's the medium of making a hot rod or it's the medium of even designing clothes.
00:08:21.000Like, I'm wearing some crazy t-shirt right now, some dude gave me.
00:08:24.000It's Bruce Lee, who's acting as a DJ. I thought that was hilarious.
00:09:19.000Well, if marijuana is a gateway drug, I'm really, unfortunately, a good example.
00:09:28.000I don't think that it's a negative gateway.
00:09:30.000I think we have to get over that idea, and I think a big part of the struggle that we have in this country It's a lot of conservative people misunderstand the position of people that support marijuana or cannabis.
00:09:42.000And it doesn't mean that they're mutually exclusive and it doesn't mean that they have to be in combat with each other.
00:09:47.000It just means that for whatever reason as a society we have associated cannabis smokers and users with lazy bitches.
00:09:56.000And I think that if I have benefited as an unnecessarily agro, you know, child of the 80s, if I have benefited from the magical gift of marijuana, then I bet you can too.
00:10:12.000And it's going to make you examine yourself in a way that may be uncomfortable, but is most likely necessary.
00:10:18.000You know, and the ideas that we have connected to Any sort of psychedelic experience, marijuana or peyote, you name it, mushrooms, automatically people of a conservative nature will assume that the people involved in doing this thing are being lazy or they're being frivolous.
00:10:40.000They're being frivolous because they've decided to seek escape through chemicals rather than deal with reality.
00:10:49.000If they really knew, they would know that that's not the case.
00:10:52.000If they really had experience, they would know that, no, it's the exact opposite.
00:10:56.000I hate to fucking bring up this goddamn Radiolab show again.
00:11:00.000They were talking about religious experiences and people who did acid, and they were talking about...
00:11:08.000They took these kids in school, took them down to a church setting where a church sermon was going on.
00:11:53.000Well, that's what we were talking about earlier, about, like, one day, maybe we can get our shitty brains to accept a state of opiate and MDMA at the same time, all the time.
00:12:05.000Well, like, think about what's going on.
00:12:07.000I mean, all respect to people who are on antidepressants, and this is not an antidepressant rant, and I think, quite honestly, that there's quite a few of those rants that are ignorant.
00:12:16.000And even though, you know, we had a conversation with...
00:12:19.000Kara Santa Maria, who's on the podcast.
00:12:54.000He's trying to fucking just hang out with her.
00:12:55.000He'd be rubbing his dick over the table.
00:12:56.000Just cock blocking the fuck out of you!
00:12:59.000But anyway, the point was that she was describing her own personal benefit From using antidepressants and her own personal benefit from regulating her state of consciousness, but with the use of science.
00:13:14.000And if you really stop and think about it, some of the best feelings that I've ever had have been under the influence of chemicals.
00:13:21.000Whether it's right now, or whether it's the first time I ever did anything, which was MDMA, anything of significance.
00:13:29.000When that feeling is so sensational, like, what would life be if that feeling existed all the time?
00:13:35.000We automatically have this thought in our head that that cannot be managed, and that needs to be discarded right away, immediately, for the state of consciousness that exists right now can never be elevated.
00:13:49.000I wonder sometimes, because I go, like...
00:13:53.000I feel like I spend my day chasing a buzz, where it's like coffee in the morning, and then there's this dead beer in the afternoon where I'm like, well, it's too late.
00:14:15.000Some of the best moments of my life are when my wife had a job.
00:14:19.000We were living in an apartment complex.
00:14:21.000We had a nanny, only because I was on the road, and sometimes the nanny and I would overlap and I'd be there when she would be there.
00:14:27.000The best feelings, my kids are there, sun setting in Hollywood, my wife walking up in the door and just going, did anyone open a bottle of wine?
00:15:12.000I think, yeah, I love that feeling when, like, it's like just fucking, someone just goes, I go, Is it going to be awkward if I order a beer?
00:15:21.000And someone will be like, if you get one, I'll get one.
00:15:27.000I think that's what the feeling people get when they connect when they smoke marijuana is that someone likes it and then they're like, nah.
00:16:27.000There's never been a statistical correlation between you thinking about someone and then them calling you and not meaning anything significant whatsoever.
00:16:36.000And you need to get a rip and put a tie on and wear some shiny shoes with slippery soles and walk down the street like a gentleman.
00:16:47.000I don't know, but I know that when a little light bulb goes off in my head, and I think about Burt Kreischer, and then I look down at my phone, and it starts ringing immediately, and it's Burt Kreischer.
00:16:59.000Well, call me crazy, but I think something's up.
00:21:00.000Fucking Australia, best country I've ever been to.
00:21:02.000I'm telling you when I say this, and I'm not shitting on America, and I'm not shitting on Canada, because you guys are second, but Australia blows everyone away.
00:21:25.000There's this thing about America that America was sort of founded and created by a bunch of people that have come here from somewhere that sucked and they had enough and they just made it over to some new spot.
00:21:38.000I think that the type of person that it takes to be able to get in a boat and travel across the ocean and land some new land, I think it takes several generations before everybody fucking relaxes.
00:21:54.000That's the badass motherfuckers that could get in a boat and fucking do that.
00:21:58.000Because you just shook the loose leaves got shaken off the tree.
00:22:04.000They got in a goddamn boat and traveled across oceans with no radio, no TV. Do you ever think about that, though, when you travel with your kids somewhere, and then you go, how would we travel across America?
00:22:13.000Like, how would your family size up in a wagon train going from New York to L.A.? My family would have either stayed...
00:22:20.000I mean, if you had little children, you would have stayed in Italy or Ireland.
00:22:23.000You would have done whatever you could do to stay where you were.
00:22:26.000But my grandfather's family came over here in...
00:22:31.000I want to say the early 1900s, my grandfather's family came over here from Italy.
00:22:36.000And my grandfather lived on a farm and he used to tell me stories about how they used to kill rabbits with their hand, grab them by the neck and snap them.
00:22:44.000That was like a normal part of your life.
00:22:45.000And there was, you know, winters where like they would run out of food.
00:23:45.000I mean, it's hard for me to wrap my head around now.
00:23:48.000I don't want to do the math, but the point was my mother was young.
00:23:51.000And so, like, growing up with, like, a young mother that doesn't necessarily know what the fuck is going on makes you realize at a young age, like, oh, shit.
00:24:04.000Makes you start looking at everything a little differently.
00:24:07.000This lady doesn't know what the fuck is going on.
00:24:10.000Wait, I don't think she can make eggs.
00:24:13.000No, she was okay with that, but we are both in this fucking crazy thing together.
00:24:17.000And, you know, you realize, like, kind of early on that no one knows what the fuck is going on.
00:28:26.000I was talking to someone recently about bomb lines.
00:28:32.000When you're doing bad and a heckler's attacking you and you have your comeback, and Nick DiPaolo has a time...
00:28:39.000I'm once again butchering whatever this story is because I don't remember it, but Nick said that he was getting heckled by this girl in a It was our bachelorette party, and he was on the road in some podunk town, and he was like, he was like, ma'am, I hope the next time you reach under your armpit you feel a lump.
00:28:57.000And he goes, I've never had an entire crowd hate me more, and they had to escort him, like, to the green room there.
00:29:22.000I wonder if parents, because he's got kids, if they meet him and they have no clue of who he is, and then Google him, and then they're like, oh my god, I can tell this joke in front of you.
00:29:32.000He's one of the funniest fucking human beings, man.
00:30:56.000In a time in my life when no one needed to be nice to me, there were two people that were distinctly nice to me and gentle.
00:31:03.000And that was Bill Burr and Greg Giraldo.
00:31:06.000Like, you know, Norton and Bobby and all those guys were always nice to me, but man, Geraldo and Bill Burr took time, pulled me aside, and like, they were fucking great guys.
00:31:14.000I remember one time calling into my buddy Cowhead show, because Geraldo was on, and calling in to listen to Geraldo's interview, because I just loved Greg.
00:31:24.000And Cowhead told him, and Greg goes, oh, put him on the phone, I'll talk to him.
00:31:27.000And I talked to Greg for like fucking 10 minutes in between a break and a song, and just was like, man, how's everything going?
00:32:58.000And there was also a lot of improvisation, where Dave Foley was responsible for a huge amount of what got on the air of that show, because he was almost like a secret producer.
00:33:09.000And it was because the guys who wrote the show were so open-minded and so smart, and Paul Simms, who was the executive producer, was just This really brilliant guy who recognized that there was a lot of people like Andy or like Phil Hartman or Dave Foley or whatever who would have this intuition while they were on stage working out the scenes that they would come up with new things and to incorporate those new things.
00:33:33.000So Dave was constantly tweaking things and adding things.
00:33:37.000And being able to watch that and to watch someone do that and to be in that situation, I was like, wow.
00:33:55.000Last year was a very good year for me, and I'm also in the middle of our school, so our kids are in third grade, and now we've been at school long enough that we know all the parents, and so I was the resident famous comedian parent.
00:35:42.000The fucking first night I met him, I was working at the Boston Comedy Club, I came downstairs, and he was at the bar, and I knew he was from Florida, and I was from Florida, and I like to stand up, and I walked up to him, and I was like, I was like, hey man, my name's Bert, I'm a comedian, I just started, I'd love to ask you, and he stopped me, like, put his hand on my chest,
00:35:58.000his hand on my chest, and was like, listen, You start buying beers, and I'll answer every question you want.
00:36:46.000If you sleep in your car, they'll arrest you.
00:36:48.000I just had a simulation thing happen to me, Joe.
00:36:52.000That Dennis Leary video that we were talking about, last night I watched this movie called Happy, which is all about depression and stuff like that.
00:38:28.000Where's the part where Greg and Greg and what you call a fight?
00:38:31.000We did that movie together, Here Comes the Boom, the Kevin James movie, and Lenny Clark was in that movie because it was shot in Boston and Lenny played a local Boston guy.
00:38:42.000Lenny Clark, I fucking love that guy, but he lost a lot of weight, man.
00:40:37.000And if you had tried a little comedy writing, maybe your show would still be on the air.
00:40:46.000Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh You know, but that's the thing that happens when dudes get famous.
00:40:57.000They think a guy can't come along and clown you.
00:41:01.000It's the first time I went on the road and I realized there are killers that I've never heard of.
00:41:04.000No, but when a guy gets famous to a point where you're a Tom Cruise or any sort of a person who's been in movies, Dennis Leary, when that came out, had been in a ton of movies.
00:41:15.000He had been in some really high-profile movies.
00:41:17.000I mean, he thought of himself as a guy who had made it.
00:41:20.000So I think he probably assumed he was going to get a certain level of respect.
00:41:25.000So when Gerardo hit him with, maybe if you did a little writing, your show would still be on the air.
00:41:30.000That was like a nuclear weapon that he didn't see coming.
00:41:40.000You look at the look on Geraldo's face, and you can see his eyes twitching, and you can see him going angry, going, uh, three, two, I got this, I got this, and then making his tactical call in his head, you can see that happening almost.
00:42:18.000There's a certain personality that, and I'm not going to speak, I'm not saying this is Dennis Leary, but there is a certain personality that's so arrogant in that the way I say it will be so much better than the way you say it, as opposed to what I say is better than what you say.
00:42:32.000So, like, you can hear the statement before him when he says, well, we're going to go to a war with a country?
00:42:38.000Like, it was very arrogant, and he was like, yeah, like that great Russian war.
00:42:47.000Well, he has this idea that somehow or another he's going to be able to solve, what, hundreds of scholars and heads of states and diplomats and emissary workers.
00:43:01.000But he's going to come along and tell you exactly how things need to be run.
00:43:06.000The ideas of, first of all, communication between nations where they don't even speak the same fucking language, you know how difficult that shit is?
00:43:14.000It's so fucking hard just to understand things in cultural context and explain those to the different people that are in your country that you're sort of representing because Koreans are not like Americans and Americans are not like Koreans.
00:43:28.000People that live in North Korea do not understand how we're living in North America and the people in North America, for the most part, Really are fairly ignorant about what the fuck is going on in North Korea.
00:43:37.000And one of the big reasons is because we can't fucking communicate with each other.
00:43:41.000If we could communicate with each other, if everybody in North Korea knew how to speak English and they all could read the shit on the internet about how the world is run and what the fuck is really going on in the country and how the rest of the world views things, They would probably slowly but surely take action.
00:43:57.000But the fact that they're separate from the rest of the world, the fact they speak this one very unique sort of a language that's difficult to learn and isn't translatable very easily to English or Spanish or Is Korean not translatable?
00:47:30.000I just drove one from Miami to Marco Island, and I tell you right now, the second I sat in that seat, I would let the steering wheel be close to my face because I wanted it there.
00:50:05.000Oh, it's based a lot of it on controversial subjects, and all of it will start off from the podcast, like examining all sorts of different...
00:50:16.000Well, we sort of have a tentative title, but I'm not necessarily happy with it.
00:50:19.000So the idea is, like the way we've done the podcast, where we explore all these different ideas, whether it's shamanism or ghosts or Bigfoot or UFOs or...
00:50:44.000Do you think that it's possible there could be an undiscovered primate?
00:50:49.000That people have been talking about and reporting for ages.
00:50:52.000And it's somehow another eluded photography except for a few really questionable photos and some really fucking shitty video that looks fake as fuck.
00:52:14.000Have you seen those Tesla experiments where he was touching electricity and it was like a bolt was flying through this big Tesla coil and it's connected to his arm?
00:53:38.000It was either Motor Trend or Road and Track, Car of the Year.
00:53:44.000One of those big magazines made it the Car of the Year, the Tesla, not the Roadster, but the larger car, something S. It's like a four-door, and apparently it's just a marvel of engineering.
00:53:58.000The real problem is going to be state taxes on roads.
00:54:04.000Another problem is the fact that everybody wants to pretend that buying some sort of an electric car removes you from the fossil fuel food chain, but it doesn't.
00:54:13.000In fact, it connects you with some even shadier minerals on a really large scale, like lithium ion and all those different minerals.
00:55:42.000However, most people that run these organizations, whether it's a network or cable or whether it was broadcast television, They're very conservative because they're trying to sell advertising space.
00:56:22.000It's like there's this weird sort of game that we play, whereas we pretend that the people that see all the fucked up things that you can find on the internet are not the same people.
00:58:27.000We went to drive Lamborghinis and Ferraris and Porsches on a track for a trip flip and the dudes just wanted to drive the Dodge Challenger.
00:58:39.000They would take you out for a ride and they were like, this is more fun for us to drive.
01:00:26.000A lot of people are upset about that shit though.
01:00:28.000A lot of people think that a real sports car, you should shift it manually, and that just because it's quicker to shift it with the paddles, you're missing out on part of the experience.
01:00:36.000And I kind of agree, man, because I like shifting my own gears.
01:00:53.000It's not that it's hard to shift your own gears, but there's something that's like mechanically engaging about putting the clutch in, sliding the shifter forward, letting the clutch out, hitting the gas at the same time.
01:01:05.000Something super sexy when you met a girl that knew how to drive a stick.
01:03:14.000We get out, and the second our door opens, another door opens, and it's an older white dude.
01:03:21.000And he walks out like three steps behind us, and he follows me down the hallway three steps behind us, all the way until we get to the end of the hall where my door is.
01:03:29.000Turns out he's in the room directly next to mine.
01:03:31.000So as he goes to open the door and put his key in, I jokingly, in front of this bellman, thinking he'll laugh, I go, hey man, if you want, we can open up that center door and hang out all weekend.
01:03:42.000And the guy now is nervous and he's trying to get his key in and he's like, no, I don't want to do that.
01:07:36.000Now, I told the black guy I'm a comic, but I haven't done anything funny, so I jokingly look at the old guy and I go, hey, if you want, we can open up that connecting door and we can hang out all weekend.