The Joe Rogan Experience - March 13, 2013


Joe Rogan Experience #338 - Shane Smith


Episode Stats

Length

3 hours

Words per Minute

180.23318

Word Count

32,463

Sentence Count

3,052

Misogynist Sentences

108

Hate Speech Sentences

77


Summary

In this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience: Train by Day, Podcast by Night, all day all day, Shane Smith of Vice joins me to talk about how to get in better shape, why you should get some kettlebells, and why you shouldn't be an idiot when it comes to getting in shape. Plus, we have a show tonight at The Ice House in Los Angeles, and we're selling killer bee honey! Use the code "ROGAN" at checkout to get 10% off any and all supplements this Thursday night in San Diego, CA. And if you use the code: ROGAN, you save yourself a cool $10 and save yourself 10% on all supplements. It's the perfect amount of money you can save on your next purchase, and it's the best deal you can get on any and every supplement you could ask for. Onnit is a company that makes the best protein powder in the entire world, and they're selling it to killer bees, honey, and then they sell it to you, the bees, too! We don't give a fuck about honey, we just take their honey and then sell it. We're selling the honey and you get it back to the bees. You're not going to get much better than that! Enjoy! -Shane Smith Joe Rogans Podcast by Day - Train by Night - By Night - Train By Day - by Night All day, All Day, Train By Night, by Night (featuring Shane Smith - All Day by Night with Shane Smith - by Day - Shane Smith's Podcast by Night's Podcast - by night Shane Smith's Song: "I'm Gotta Get It Down" by Night Show, by Ian Edwards and Ari Shafir & Ian Edwards , by Ian Eddings and Ian Edwards, by Jeff Perla, by Tonight's Podcast, by Ari and Ian, by the Parcast, by The Parcast - by The Jerks And so much more! , and so on, so much so that you don't have to wait for it to be posted on the next episode, you can just listen to it, you'll get a chance to see it on your favorite streaming service? Can't wait to hear it? , can't wait for the next one, it's gonna be better than it's going to be better?


Transcript

00:00:02.000 Meow.
00:00:05.000 Hello, freaks.
00:00:07.000 Are we on?
00:00:07.000 I don't see you.
00:00:08.000 It doesn't show to me.
00:00:10.000 Silly Ustream.
00:00:12.000 What the fuck is going on, ladies and gentlemen?
00:00:17.000 Yeah!
00:00:18.000 Today's podcast is brought to you by Onnit.com.
00:00:21.000 That's O-N-N-I-T. We just started getting these new things in that are not weapons, okay?
00:00:29.000 And Brian keeps accusing them of being weapons just because they're clubs and maces.
00:00:34.000 Just because it would really help you if the apocalypse went down and we went back to sword fighting, okay?
00:00:40.000 You would want to use one of these steel maces that we're carrying around these days.
00:00:44.000 We're selling these club bells and steel maces and of course kettlebells.
00:00:49.000 What all these things are is functional strength equipment.
00:00:52.000 And there's two things that are super important to know when you're doing any kind of weightlifting.
00:00:58.000 One is the correct form.
00:01:00.000 I can't stress this enough.
00:01:01.000 If you can afford it, hire a trainer.
00:01:03.000 You only have to do it like once.
00:01:05.000 Pay attention.
00:01:06.000 Write shit down.
00:01:06.000 And tell them to give you three or four simple exercises.
00:01:10.000 Clean press.
00:01:11.000 Real simple things to know about where to place your weight and how to keep your posture.
00:01:17.000 Know those, study those, and live by those.
00:01:20.000 It's one of the most important things about strength training.
00:01:22.000 Don't be an idiot.
00:01:23.000 Use proper discipline and use proper form because if you don't, you're going to get hurt.
00:01:28.000 That's number one.
00:01:29.000 And number two, if you want to get in serious shape, there's no better exercises than exercises that use your whole body.
00:01:36.000 Those are the kind of exercises that when you take it and you can translate it almost immediately to any sort of athletic activity.
00:01:44.000 Whereas muscle-specific exercises like bench press or curls along those lines, they make your arms bigger.
00:01:53.000 They make you a little stronger, but it's not the same as working your whole body as one group.
00:01:59.000 That's what kettlebells are all about.
00:02:00.000 That's what these steel maces are all about.
00:02:03.000 We have medicine balls.
00:02:05.000 Those kind of activities are activities that translate into everyday life and to sports.
00:02:11.000 So that's the kind of shit we sell.
00:02:12.000 Along with the best protein powder you can buy, hemp force protein powder, different supplements, brain supplements, endurance supplements, immune system supplements.
00:02:23.000 All literally the best shit we can get our hands on.
00:02:26.000 We sell it to killer bee honey.
00:02:27.000 We don't give a fuck.
00:02:28.000 We're selling killer bee honey.
00:02:30.000 We're jacking killer bees, taking their honey, and then selling it.
00:02:32.000 And if you go to Onnit.com and use the code name ROGAN, you save yourself 10% off any and all supplements.
00:02:38.000 This Thursday night in San Diego, California.
00:02:42.000 That's tomorrow.
00:02:43.000 Yeah, right?
00:02:43.000 Tomorrow.
00:02:44.000 Tomorrow night, Brian is going to be at the American Comedy Company with a bunch of really funny guys that are friends of ours, like Tony Hinchcliffe, who's fucking hilarious.
00:02:53.000 Really one of my favorite young guys coming up.
00:02:55.000 Jason Tebow, an awesome dude.
00:02:57.000 A very, very funny comic, too.
00:02:58.000 Billy Balnell, another very funny comic, and Yoshi.
00:03:01.000 So you guys have a hell of a show, and it's one of the coolest clubs in Southern California, that American Comedy Company.
00:03:09.000 It's a sweet little spot down in San Diego.
00:03:11.000 All right, if you listen to this and you're in L.A., we've got a show tonight at the Pasadena Ice House.
00:03:16.000 It's Ari Shafir, Ian Edwards, and me, and it's going to be at 10 o'clock.
00:03:20.000 So that's...
00:03:21.000 It's only a few hours for now, alright you fucks?
00:03:24.000 Shane Smith's here, and we're fixing to get busy.
00:03:26.000 We're gonna get jiggy with it.
00:03:28.000 We're gonna throw it up.
00:03:29.000 We're gonna put it down.
00:03:30.000 I would just like to say whatever powders...
00:03:33.000 What is this?
00:03:38.000 It starts already.
00:03:41.000 Play the music.
00:03:43.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:03:46.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
00:03:51.000 Shane Smith, ladies and gentlemen, the powerful Shane Smith of Vice.com, one of my favorite human beings from the face of the earth.
00:03:57.000 And you are here, sir.
00:03:58.000 It is a pleasure.
00:03:59.000 Thank you.
00:04:00.000 I was just going to say, whatever powders and supplements you're selling, I'm buying because you're fucking jacked.
00:04:07.000 Holy shit, dude.
00:04:09.000 Looking very sexy, right?
00:04:10.000 Holy shit.
00:04:10.000 I've got to get some fucking kettlebells.
00:04:12.000 Get some, son.
00:04:14.000 I was telling you, I haven't done jujitsu in several months because of my back.
00:04:19.000 I've never felt better.
00:04:20.000 It's amazing.
00:04:21.000 Taking time off jujitsu just does the body great.
00:04:23.000 It's so brutal.
00:04:25.000 It breaks you down.
00:04:27.000 Everybody who does it is always walking around like, ah, something.
00:04:30.000 Elbow, your knee's fucked up, your ankle jacked, your should have tapped, your wrist is fucked up.
00:04:35.000 Everywhere you go.
00:04:37.000 It's so much fun to do it.
00:04:40.000 People, like, sort of sacrifice parts of their body up to a certain point.
00:04:45.000 The spine is a real issue, though.
00:04:46.000 That's a scary one.
00:04:47.000 Right.
00:04:48.000 You know, back issues.
00:04:50.000 How's your spine?
00:04:51.000 It's fine.
00:04:51.000 It's just a minor bulge, and it's getting better through doing this disc decompression therapy where they hook you up to a machine, and it's like this slow pulling and pushing where it slowly, like, separates your spine.
00:05:05.000 Right now it's only, like, 19 pounds, which sounds like a lot, but it doesn't feel like anything.
00:05:09.000 Backtalk is so hot right now.
00:05:11.000 It's hot.
00:05:12.000 Doing a lot of backtalk lately.
00:05:14.000 Yeah.
00:05:15.000 I don't know why, man.
00:05:16.000 It's on my mind.
00:05:16.000 No, I fucked up my back, but supposedly the bottom left is fucking killing me.
00:05:22.000 It's either my intestines or there's something wrong with my back.
00:05:24.000 You got AIDS, son.
00:05:25.000 Yeah, it might be AIDS. That's where AIDS starts.
00:05:27.000 It starts right there.
00:05:28.000 Fuck you, RubMaps.
00:05:29.000 You know, Boss Rootin scared the shit out of me the other day.
00:05:32.000 That scared the shit out of me.
00:05:34.000 His arms scared the shit out of me.
00:05:36.000 Boss has had two neck surgeries, and he's not getting signals to his right arm.
00:05:40.000 So his right arm is shriveled up, and they just recently fused three of the discs in his neck.
00:05:45.000 So this is a second surgery he's had on his neck, and then the other day his arm failed on him, so there's another blockage, so they have to go in and figure out where the nerves are blocked.
00:05:55.000 That's scary shit.
00:05:56.000 He couldn't pick up a gallon of milk, that's how bad it was.
00:05:59.000 I have a friend of mine who, I have a place in Costa Rica, a little surf shack, and he went over on a wave and broke his neck in the water.
00:06:09.000 And about three years ago, I, in the exact same place, went over, came up, rubbed my face off on the bottom, and my neck hurt.
00:06:18.000 I went in to get a CAT scan.
00:06:20.000 They're like, yeah, you have a hairline fracture.
00:06:21.000 You broke your neck three years ago.
00:06:23.000 And I've just been walking around going, yeah, my neck's a bit stiff.
00:06:25.000 Oh, my God.
00:06:27.000 Dude, how badass are you?
00:06:29.000 No, it's actually fucking stupid.
00:06:31.000 Yeah, it's fucking stupid.
00:06:33.000 I was sitting there for like four months going, yeah, I can't really move it, but you know.
00:06:36.000 Whatever.
00:06:37.000 I'm not a pussy.
00:06:39.000 Just walking around with a broken neck.
00:06:41.000 Well, the other thing is I would use your fucking kettlebells, but I have a huge journey.
00:06:44.000 Oh, do you really?
00:06:45.000 This could just be talking about all of our...
00:06:49.000 I have a helmet-headed flesh-eating parasite in my colon.
00:06:54.000 What?
00:06:55.000 What?
00:06:56.000 From where?
00:06:57.000 Well, I was supposed to get my hernia.
00:06:59.000 You're like, yeah.
00:07:01.000 No, I was supposed to get my hernia fixed, right?
00:07:03.000 And so I was scheduled for surgery to get my hernia fixed.
00:07:06.000 And then I went to a tropical disease doctor and they're like, no, no, no, no, no.
00:07:09.000 If they push on that hernia, you've got a fucker living in your bowels.
00:07:13.000 And if you push it onto it, it'll perforate your bowels and you could die because this fucker's wedged in there eating your flesh.
00:07:21.000 Whoa!
00:07:23.000 Yeah.
00:07:23.000 Whoa!
00:07:24.000 There's something alive inside of you?
00:07:26.000 Well, not anymore.
00:07:26.000 I took lots of pills.
00:07:27.000 But it's like alien.
00:07:28.000 Yeah.
00:07:29.000 How big was it?
00:07:31.000 I'm going to be honest.
00:07:33.000 I didn't look at my shit for three weeks because I was like, I didn't want to see the fucker come out.
00:07:37.000 What?
00:07:37.000 Why wouldn't you want to know what that looks like?
00:07:39.000 You've been all over the world.
00:07:40.000 You've been to Karachi.
00:07:42.000 You've been to the Congo.
00:07:44.000 You say that, but these things would make me not want to fucking go anywhere else ever again.
00:07:50.000 There's not a fucking army of humans that can keep me from looking at that shit.
00:07:56.000 I would have to know what that fucking thing growing in my body looks like.
00:07:59.000 You would not go anywhere else.
00:08:00.000 Man, that's so scary.
00:08:02.000 That's one of those things about that show.
00:08:04.000 What is that show?
00:08:05.000 The Hidden Enemy or something like that where people get parasites.
00:08:10.000 Oh, man.
00:08:11.000 I forget the name of it.
00:08:12.000 I wouldn't want to see it either because you can't unsee that.
00:08:14.000 That shit will be in your veins.
00:08:15.000 You don't want to unsee it.
00:08:16.000 I don't want to unsee it, man.
00:08:17.000 Also, every time you go to anywhere and have a glass of water or eat anything, you're just thinking, fuck, I just got another one of those fuckers in my colon.
00:08:26.000 Oh my god!
00:08:27.000 Can you test for this?
00:08:29.000 I feel like I've had a million of these.
00:08:31.000 You should go.
00:08:33.000 No, because I had bad sushi once and for like two months my stomach was fucked up and I had to poop in all these things.
00:08:38.000 You should go because you get a Roto-Rooter go up there and usually there's some amoebas or there's some shit going on there.
00:08:44.000 This one's an extra special.
00:08:46.000 Are you allowed to beat off while they're doing this?
00:08:48.000 As if you were just listening.
00:08:49.000 Well, the doctor is about 90 years old.
00:08:52.000 Maybe they won't even notice.
00:08:54.000 Have you been to Redmaps?
00:08:55.000 They might have this on there.
00:08:56.000 It was apparently quite a special parasite.
00:09:00.000 So I didn't want to see it.
00:09:02.000 Large?
00:09:03.000 Large and they look bad.
00:09:07.000 They look like an alien inside.
00:09:09.000 Oh!
00:09:09.000 Like the alien, the alien, right?
00:09:11.000 Like the fucking H.G. Geiger?
00:09:13.000 H.R. Geiger?
00:09:15.000 Oh my god.
00:09:16.000 Dude!
00:09:17.000 What the fuck?
00:09:18.000 Well, you know you're getting old when you're like, I can't get my hernia operated on because the fucking parasites are too big.
00:09:23.000 No, no.
00:09:24.000 That's not you know you're getting old.
00:09:26.000 You know you've eaten food cooked on the side of the road in the strangest parts of the world.
00:09:32.000 It's actually kind of amazing that you're as healthy as you are when you consider all the different nutty places that you've gone.
00:09:38.000 You're fucking healthy as shit.
00:09:40.000 I'm fairly healthy.
00:09:41.000 Let's not blow each other.
00:09:43.000 The idea of eating food at all these different places, did it ever bother you before you had this parasite?
00:09:51.000 You know, stupidly, I eat street meat, I eat fucking, you know.
00:09:56.000 Well, if they're doing it, you'll do it, right?
00:09:59.000 They're kebabs in Afghanistan, they're delicious, you know.
00:10:01.000 And what are they?
00:10:03.000 Who knows, right?
00:10:04.000 Well, who knows what's in it?
00:10:05.000 I remember somebody said to me, the first time I went to Afghanistan, they're like, whatever you do, don't drink the green tea, because they give you green tea everywhere you go.
00:10:12.000 But the problem is, if you refuse the green tea, it's sort of like an affront.
00:10:17.000 Right.
00:10:18.000 Why would you not drink the green tea?
00:10:20.000 Because the water.
00:10:22.000 The water is very bad.
00:10:23.000 And maybe they didn't boil it.
00:10:25.000 Oh!
00:10:26.000 And so it's very, very bad for you.
00:10:28.000 But if you say no, it's like saying fuck you.
00:10:31.000 Right, right.
00:10:33.000 You gotta teach those savages about boiling water.
00:10:35.000 So listen, listen, listen.
00:10:36.000 Be friends here.
00:10:37.000 We can be friends here.
00:10:38.000 Who knows what it is.
00:10:39.000 But I need to see how you motherfuckers make your tea.
00:10:41.000 Basically.
00:10:42.000 It's the same thing like when I was in Sudan.
00:10:44.000 They give you these drinks, like pomegranate juice.
00:10:48.000 But they've just added water to it.
00:10:50.000 It's really bad to say no.
00:10:53.000 And you're just like, I can't say yes to anything.
00:10:57.000 And then explosive diarrhea?
00:10:59.000 Is that what it is?
00:11:00.000 Or is it worse?
00:11:03.000 The tweets that I get the most response are like Shane's Law, which is the more you need a toilet, the ratio is directly proportionate to how bad that toilet will be.
00:11:14.000 So for example, when you have explosive diarrhea, In West Africa, guess what?
00:11:18.000 That toilet is just arcing ropes of shit and piss and fucking blood everywhere.
00:11:22.000 Whereas in Sweden, when you're having one lovely, beautiful log and then one white wonder, you have perfect, beautiful, clean toilets that smell of jasmine.
00:11:34.000 And so it's literally like Murphy's Law, Shane's Law.
00:11:38.000 How bad you need to take a shit is directly proportionate to how bad that toilet's going to be.
00:11:42.000 Oh yeah, those truck stop toilets.
00:11:45.000 Those ones you go in.
00:11:46.000 Truck stop toilets in West Africa.
00:11:47.000 Oh, what it must be like.
00:11:49.000 Just holes in the ground, right?
00:11:52.000 Well, actually, they're so bad, you can't actually get...
00:11:54.000 I personally can't even get into the room, so I'll go outside into the bushes.
00:11:58.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:12:00.000 People are so fucking gross.
00:12:02.000 At our lowest level, we're so disgusting.
00:12:06.000 When you're at a concert, you go to a porter potty, and there's this giant line of people shitting into a bucket of blue water.
00:12:13.000 Shitting, pissing, fucking...
00:12:13.000 And just a bucket of blue water.
00:12:15.000 We're all pretending it's okay.
00:12:17.000 And as we walk up, we're dry heaving.
00:12:18.000 You would have figured with all of our technology, we could have figured out something better.
00:12:23.000 The only guys who really got it sussed are the Japanese because they have music and fragrances and sprays and heated rings.
00:12:32.000 And they're really into their sort of pleasure shitting.
00:12:36.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:12:37.000 They truly are.
00:12:38.000 Yeah.
00:12:39.000 But the people that have to shit into a hole in the ground.
00:12:43.000 Well, a hole in the ground would be better than a toilet that's just fucking overflowing.
00:12:50.000 Yeah, it's true.
00:12:51.000 Shit that's been baking in the sun.
00:12:52.000 Having shy ones.
00:12:53.000 As long as it's a nice deep hole.
00:12:56.000 But then you worry about losing your watch, you know, like some freak accident.
00:12:59.000 I don't know what you're doing down there.
00:13:01.000 You're watching.
00:13:02.000 Some freak wiping accident.
00:13:04.000 You hit a root near the hole.
00:13:06.000 Or it's one of those sinkholes.
00:13:07.000 Because you think it's so wet all the time.
00:13:10.000 That's a very good point.
00:13:11.000 Very good point.
00:13:12.000 That fucking sinkhole thing in Florida freaked me out.
00:13:15.000 That scared the shit out of me.
00:13:17.000 That's a terrifying thing.
00:13:19.000 Their fucking house just, a hole opened up underneath it.
00:13:22.000 And apparently it happens so often in Florida that you have to get insurance for it if you have homeowner's insurance.
00:13:28.000 Wow.
00:13:29.000 What?
00:13:30.000 That's a good horror movie.
00:13:31.000 That's a crazy place to live, man.
00:13:33.000 That is the craziest place to live.
00:13:35.000 There's a big slum in Mexico that was built on a dump.
00:13:39.000 And the reason why it was a dump was because magically, if you put your garbage there, it would disappear.
00:13:45.000 Oh no!
00:13:45.000 Because it was a swamp.
00:13:46.000 Oh no!
00:13:48.000 And so they kept just sort of dumping stuff and then as the garbage got higher they sort of started building houses on it.
00:13:55.000 No!
00:13:56.000 But now like 100,000 people live there.
00:13:58.000 It's like a city but it's built on garbage on the dump.
00:14:01.000 But the garbage was in a sinkhole.
00:14:04.000 So every once in a while, they won't just have one or two houses.
00:14:06.000 They'll have like ten houses just go...
00:14:08.000 Oh, Jesus Christ, just fall through the earth.
00:14:11.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:14:12.000 What the fuck?
00:14:13.000 Yeah.
00:14:13.000 And it's weird how weird and uniform the holes look.
00:14:17.000 Have you seen?
00:14:18.000 Yeah, how it's seen.
00:14:19.000 Brian, pull up some of the photos because you can't believe it.
00:14:22.000 I think the big one was in Guatemala where it started swallowing up entire blocks.
00:14:27.000 Right.
00:14:28.000 It's insane.
00:14:29.000 It just doesn't look real.
00:14:30.000 It looks like a horror movie.
00:14:32.000 It's like all of a sudden where your house is is a cliff going down.
00:14:36.000 And everyone's walking around the edges looking down, not knowing when it's going to expand, if it's going to expand, if it's going to stay that way permanently.
00:14:45.000 Look at that!
00:14:46.000 Look at that!
00:14:46.000 Dude!
00:14:47.000 Come on!
00:14:48.000 That looks like a fucking meteor came from the moon and slammed into the earth.
00:14:53.000 We went to one of those in Libya where they actually have like cars or whatever, junk cars, and they throw it in because you can't hear it land.
00:15:02.000 It's so deep.
00:15:03.000 That you can't hear it land.
00:15:05.000 So it's like a thing.
00:15:06.000 It's like, oh, you're here?
00:15:08.000 Let's go throw something into the bottomless pit.
00:15:10.000 How could they stand near that thing?
00:15:13.000 How could they be sure that's stable now?
00:15:16.000 I went there.
00:15:16.000 We threw like some, I don't know, metal rods or whatever.
00:15:20.000 We listened.
00:15:21.000 And you literally can't hear it hit.
00:15:23.000 That's how deep it is.
00:15:24.000 My balls hurt with you just saying that.
00:15:26.000 My balls started hurting.
00:15:28.000 My ass started crumbling and I'm squeezing my toes.
00:15:34.000 What the fuck, man?
00:15:35.000 Why does that happen?
00:15:36.000 They don't know, right?
00:15:37.000 They're not entirely sure.
00:15:38.000 Is that the case?
00:15:39.000 There's a variety of factors.
00:15:41.000 Aliens land in it, and then they call it a sinkhole.
00:15:43.000 I think it's alluvial clay.
00:15:46.000 A lot of cities are built beside rivers, and those rivers used to be bigger.
00:15:51.000 And so there's this alluvial clay, which is unstable, and it just sinks down.
00:15:54.000 But it sinks down like 100, 200 feet sometimes.
00:15:58.000 What the fuck, man?
00:16:00.000 There's a big one there, yeah.
00:16:01.000 Jesus Christ.
00:16:03.000 At least you can see the bottom of that one.
00:16:04.000 Yeah, it's scary.
00:16:05.000 But look, all those people standing over there.
00:16:06.000 What the fuck are they doing anywhere near that thing?
00:16:10.000 Who knows what's going to happen?
00:16:11.000 All around that could just fall apart.
00:16:13.000 You're a real morbid dude.
00:16:14.000 Well, just when it comes to the earth swallowing you, yeah.
00:16:18.000 You know, there's spots where that never happens.
00:16:20.000 I say go to those spots.
00:16:21.000 But you live in L.A., I mean.
00:16:23.000 What a little shake, a little rock and roll.
00:16:27.000 We'll be fine.
00:16:28.000 This shit never happens out here.
00:16:29.000 Oh, look at that city.
00:16:31.000 It's just a big hole in it.
00:16:31.000 Now that I said it never happens, you know it's coming.
00:16:33.000 That's a pretty...
00:16:34.000 Oh, God.
00:16:34.000 And people are going to blame me.
00:16:36.000 Wow, look at that hole.
00:16:37.000 Holy fuck.
00:16:39.000 Yeah, you know, single-floor dwelling, very important.
00:16:42.000 A good move if you can afford it.
00:16:44.000 I think that's really the safest thing.
00:16:47.000 And make sure your house is up to code.
00:16:48.000 I think you've got to build it into, like, a mountainside, like Dr. No.
00:16:52.000 It's very possible your shit's going to get fucked up.
00:16:54.000 It's really all about staying alive.
00:16:56.000 And you've got to think, really, realistically, you've got to think, if you live here, it's very possible that every couple decades or so, The fucking earth cracks the foundation of your house.
00:17:08.000 Plumbing is spraying water into the street and it powers out for a month.
00:17:12.000 You've got to be willing to accept that that's possible.
00:17:15.000 Are you a prepper?
00:17:16.000 No.
00:17:17.000 I'm prepared slightly.
00:17:19.000 I'm prepared for a few months of bullshit.
00:17:22.000 But I'm not stocking dried meat or anything nutty.
00:17:27.000 I just think that there's no way that with all the possibilities of natural disasters that we really don't take into consideration because the extent of our history, of what we really know about what's taking place on the earth, and the amount of devastation that can occur over an enormous period of time,
00:17:45.000 billions and billions of years, where all these unique events, which have been documented throughout history, where They're just starting to understand what caused certain geographic features and what kind of cataclysmic effect that must have had.
00:17:58.000 There's meteorites blowing up over Russia right now, and we missed two after that.
00:18:02.000 I would say I'm not a prepper, but I will say this.
00:18:06.000 You know, in northern Canada, they have these millions and millions of lakes with fresh waters, nobody on them, nobody can get to them, all these things.
00:18:14.000 And you're like, if you have a few bucks stashed away, and you can build a cottage on one of these fuckers with pure water, you'd be stupid not to because if shit goes down, And you've got this lake and this thing and it's hard to get to and all this stuff,
00:18:30.000 then you can get the fuck up there.
00:18:32.000 It's like hedging your bets.
00:18:34.000 You're just hedging your bets.
00:18:35.000 And the only problem with it is, if shit does go down, how the fuck you get up there.
00:18:40.000 Yeah, that's the issue.
00:18:41.000 Well, I think you should have a little bit of food at your house and you should also try growing your food if you can.
00:18:48.000 Even if you have a small patch in your backyard, you'd be amazed what you could do with, like, pots.
00:18:52.000 You know, we started growing our stuff in pots, you know, just like large pots.
00:18:56.000 And you can grow, like, big vegetable plants.
00:18:59.000 You can get a lot of vegetables just from your garden.
00:19:01.000 Well, we were just...
00:19:02.000 We were doing this story on the world is sinking.
00:19:05.000 You know, we went to the Maldives, we went to Venice, we went to Greenland, and then we were in New York City, and I actually interviewed the deputy mayor, and I said, you know, Sandy hit, and it was bad, but, you know...
00:19:17.000 It was pretty fucking bad.
00:19:19.000 I was outside of my house, waist high in water.
00:19:22.000 Well, you had a video of you standing outside.
00:19:25.000 Me, waist high in water.
00:19:25.000 Was it by the Hudson?
00:19:27.000 Yeah, right by my house.
00:19:28.000 Dead rats are just floating by.
00:19:30.000 Hundreds of rats are shooting by.
00:19:32.000 But in a current...
00:19:33.000 Can you pull that video up?
00:19:34.000 Because the image is insane.
00:19:36.000 What should I search for?
00:19:38.000 Rats.
00:19:39.000 What is the video?
00:19:40.000 What was the name of it?
00:19:41.000 Well, that's for the HBO show, so we haven't released it yet.
00:19:44.000 But you showed it to me.
00:19:45.000 Yeah, I showed it to you.
00:19:46.000 Yeah, you son of a bitch.
00:19:47.000 We can't put it online?
00:19:48.000 We can't show the people?
00:19:49.000 What about the people, the good people out there?
00:19:51.000 The folks that are not privileged?
00:19:52.000 But yeah, the Hudson went to West Broadway, and I was sitting there doing a stand-up, and all these rats are going by and whatever.
00:20:01.000 But the thing that's interesting about New York was...
00:20:04.000 That it fucked shit up pretty bad.
00:20:05.000 But the fact is, there was no gas.
00:20:07.000 You couldn't get gas.
00:20:09.000 It was like lineups to get gas.
00:20:11.000 The whole city was sort of shut down gas-wise.
00:20:14.000 People were trying to get out.
00:20:15.000 And then you realize, we're like one centimeter away from everything fucking collapsing.
00:20:19.000 Yes.
00:20:19.000 Because you're like, oh, sir, I got my fucking bolt hole up in Canada on the lake that's stocked with shotguns and dried meat and fucking peas and seeds.
00:20:27.000 And then you're like, how the fuck am I going to get there when there's no goddamn gas?
00:20:31.000 And by the way, you can't get out the bridges and you can't get out the tunnels.
00:20:36.000 The tunnels are fucking flooded.
00:20:37.000 And at that point, you're sort of saying, well, I don't know what you're prepping for, but if something bad, like really cataclysmic happens, we're fucked.
00:20:46.000 So in the meantime, have some fun.
00:20:49.000 Yeah, have some fun is good.
00:20:51.000 Be nice.
00:20:52.000 That's good, too.
00:20:53.000 So that when the shit hits the fan, people want to show you where their basement is with their canned tomatoes.
00:20:58.000 You know?
00:20:59.000 You could develop a real sense of community.
00:21:02.000 It would actually be kind of something refreshing if you could actually ensure that you weren't going to get attacked by roving hordes of outlaws that had given up on society and started robbing people.
00:21:13.000 But if we could...
00:21:13.000 You know, if we had something to, not necessarily something that kills a bunch of people, but something that gets everybody scared enough to bond together.
00:21:21.000 We're really getting dark.
00:21:23.000 No, it's not even getting dark, man!
00:21:25.000 We're like, we went from zero to 60 here.
00:21:27.000 Brother, I don't even think it's getting dark.
00:21:28.000 I really don't.
00:21:29.000 Brother, let me tell you.
00:21:30.000 I don't think it's getting dark.
00:21:32.000 But that's how it used to be.
00:21:33.000 It used to be communities banded together to defend themselves from everybody else who's trying to fuck them up.
00:21:40.000 That's the history of mankind.
00:21:41.000 That's why we're fighting all the time.
00:21:44.000 There's only a certain amount of carrots, and they're trying to get your carrots, and you've got to defend your carrots so your kids can eat.
00:21:48.000 So it was a continual warfare, and it was the community all supporting each other.
00:21:52.000 That's also why we have this tremendous desire to be around each other, this tremendous desire for community, for fellowship.
00:21:59.000 Exactly.
00:22:00.000 It's a part of our DNA. That's why one of the worst things a person can be punished with is solitary confinement.
00:22:05.000 That's exactly right.
00:22:05.000 Drives them nuts.
00:22:06.000 It literally drives them nuts.
00:22:08.000 It literally drives them nuts.
00:22:09.000 I said it just like you, because you're Canadian, and I wanted to be proper.
00:22:13.000 There's a horrific thing that happens to the mind when it's tortured without human contact.
00:22:19.000 You long for it.
00:22:21.000 Because we really are not individuals.
00:22:23.000 We're fibbers.
00:22:25.000 We pretend that we're rugged individuals so that we push forward an ego and a legacy and conquer and all that nonsense.
00:22:33.000 But at the end of the day, you must be around other people.
00:22:37.000 That's true.
00:22:37.000 The worst...
00:22:38.000 I'm sorry.
00:22:39.000 There you go.
00:22:40.000 No, please.
00:22:42.000 You know, I said it already.
00:22:43.000 I'm verbose.
00:22:44.000 Well, my thing is, you know, we're a learned species.
00:22:48.000 We learn most things, but we are hardwired for three basic things, which is survive, which is why people commit suicide, they figure are crazy, because you're going against your hardwiring.
00:22:57.000 So it's survive, procreate, right?
00:23:00.000 So we're hardwired to procreate, and then protect the progeny.
00:23:03.000 So at the end, you sit there and say, okay, if you're talking about protect the progeny, history makes sense.
00:23:07.000 Because that means, if you're in these villages, everyone's sort of intermingled.
00:23:11.000 You know, like your cousin and me, and we're, and everybody, all the kids are there, and they're all playing.
00:23:16.000 So then you would fight to the death to protect the progeny, because that's hardwired into our spinal fucking car.
00:23:28.000 Right.
00:23:45.000 Yeah, I think if we could figure out how to truly recognize that all people that can speak English and that can follow a certain ethic, just to be cool to people and just be friendly and be nice to people, just that attitude alone,
00:24:01.000 if that is possible to change, if it's possible to heal people psychologically enough to where they don't lash out at others, like for whatever reason, for their own mistakes, for their own I mean,
00:24:22.000 I think we're literally that close to it.
00:24:28.000 The number one thing that was missing throughout all of human history was the ability for all of us, all of us to have a say, all of us to be able to express ourselves, all of us to connect, all of us to figure out how to get information with no boundaries as far as countries and time-limp zones and internet connections.
00:24:49.000 It's so free now.
00:24:50.000 That I feel like there's never been a time like this before where people might have a chance of taking a step back.
00:24:58.000 It's just overcoming the amount of momentum that's behind it as far as tradition and government and rules and regulations and how we've always done things.
00:25:07.000 But if we could just relax, if everybody could just relax and understand that there's no secrets anymore as far as Where the oil comes from or where the money goes.
00:25:19.000 Everybody can prosper.
00:25:21.000 There can be a way where instead of being insanely overbalanced, where the money is going to these foreign banks and all this crazy shit, You guys would be happier too, you super rich guys, if you had less money but no evil karma to go with it.
00:25:37.000 I'm not you, I'm talking about banker type characters.
00:25:40.000 If you're a banker and you're one of those evil cunts that has a house in the Hamptons and you have these people that are around you all the time and you've made a billion dollars by finagling your way through Wall Street and you're just this maniacal Gordon Gekko type character,
00:25:56.000 you failed.
00:25:59.000 You got into a crazy game, and you sort of decided that the numbers were more important than people.
00:26:07.000 And somehow, somewhere along the line, you figured out a way to manipulate it to the point where you're like...
00:26:14.000 What was his name?
00:26:15.000 The dude, Bernie Madoff?
00:26:16.000 Bernie Madoff?
00:26:17.000 Yeah.
00:26:17.000 Well, you're Bernie Madoff.
00:26:18.000 Sure.
00:26:18.000 Where you don't give a fuck.
00:26:20.000 You're just stealing money from the system.
00:26:22.000 Well, I... Pulling it out.
00:26:23.000 I definitely agree with you that, look, it's all within our own...
00:26:26.000 I think somewhere along the line, we forgot that it's in our power to do shit.
00:26:32.000 Yes.
00:26:32.000 It's up to us to do shit.
00:26:34.000 And I think that humans generally are capable of incredibly...
00:26:40.000 I mean, you see heroes every day and incredibly sort of heroic feats and communities sticking together and humanity sticking together and all this stuff.
00:26:49.000 We're also, sadly...
00:26:53.000 And I think that...
00:27:11.000 As people do bad shit, it collectively brings humanity down.
00:27:16.000 When you're using children 6, 7, 8 years old to be suicide bombers or assassins, that's collectively bringing humanity down.
00:27:24.000 And I believe what we have to do is we have to stomp that up.
00:27:27.000 We cannot let that fucking go on.
00:27:30.000 Because of modern day politics, what happens is these kinds of heinous crimes are being perpetrated all the time now.
00:27:39.000 And it's detrimental to humanity as a whole.
00:27:46.000 Unquestionably.
00:27:47.000 I think no one can argue that.
00:27:49.000 The real question is how to go about doing it.
00:27:52.000 And is the threat of that, is it...
00:27:58.000 Is it cultivated?
00:27:59.000 You can't do it militarily.
00:28:03.000 That's the problem, because it's like apocalypse now, right?
00:28:07.000 And they're like, you know, we went in and inoculated, this is fiction, by the way, but we went in and inoculated the arms, and then the, you know, the Viet Cong came in and cut the arms off, and they're like, you know, Kurtz, when he's going crazy, is saying, you know, how are we going to win against that?
00:28:20.000 These are the kinds of things that we are capable of.
00:28:22.000 These are the kinds of things that are happening today.
00:28:24.000 That's fiction?
00:28:25.000 Well, I mean, it's fiction within the movie, but the reason why I brought it up is when I was interviewing the Taliban and they were telling me about that they were going to continue to use child suicide bombers, all I could think of was this quote from the movie of,
00:28:43.000 if they're going to cut off the arms of their own children because they were inoculized by the Americans, then how can we win against that?
00:28:51.000 And I was thinking, if they're going to send their own kids to be suicide bombers, then how are we going to win against that?
00:28:55.000 You definitely can't do it militarily because then it's just one-upmanship.
00:29:02.000 Who can be worse?
00:29:03.000 Who can fuck the other guy up the most?
00:29:05.000 And you know about this in any kind of street fight.
00:29:09.000 Okay, well, you're beating me with fists and I'll use a bottle.
00:29:12.000 Or you're using a bottle, I'll use a knife.
00:29:13.000 Or you're using a knife, I'll use a gun.
00:29:15.000 Well, that's why I always tell people, like, avoid conflict at all costs, always, because first of all, I don't want to be mad at anybody.
00:29:22.000 Somebody's going to be crazier than you, too.
00:29:24.000 Yes, and well, not only that, nobody likes it when you kick their ass.
00:29:26.000 It's not like they forget that.
00:29:28.000 No, they make you their sworn enemy, and they want to come back and get you.
00:29:31.000 And a lot of times, those situations where you make an enemy for life could have been avoided if you went out of your way to be, whatever, more apologetic, friendly, or nicer, understand his point of view, and then he probably would concede a little bit too,
00:29:46.000 and then maybe you could get a drink, and then maybe you could be friends.
00:29:49.000 I mean, there's a lot of moments like that in life where it could go one way when you get in a fistfight with someone that was totally avoidable, but...
00:29:57.000 Maybe you were in a shit mood because your girlfriend just dumped you or maybe he said something that he wished he didn't say but he's fucking 22 and you say stupid shit and you don't even really mean it.
00:30:07.000 You don't even know what the fuck you're doing.
00:30:08.000 You're just making noise with your mouth and practicing being a person.
00:30:12.000 And next thing you know, you've got an enemy for life.
00:30:14.000 Yeah, the other thing is, you know, it's a game where psychopaths win.
00:30:19.000 And it pays to be a psychopath in those situations.
00:30:23.000 Well, because, you know, you see guys who are going out there and, you know, you're going to have a fistfight in the back alley.
00:30:28.000 And then, you know, I was in a place one time where there was a fistfight and a guy sucked out a guy's eyeball and then just tore it out with his teeth.
00:30:35.000 Oh, my God.
00:30:36.000 Because he's a psychopath.
00:30:38.000 And you sit there and go, well, there's always going to be somebody willing to take it to the next level.
00:30:42.000 Yeah.
00:30:42.000 You saw that?
00:30:44.000 It was in the place where I was.
00:30:45.000 I saw the aftermath of it.
00:30:49.000 Actually, it's a famous, what they call firms in the UK, football hooligans.
00:30:57.000 It was a hooligan move where they pound you and they suck your eyeball.
00:31:01.000 Oh my god.
00:31:02.000 It's a move that they use.
00:31:05.000 In a football match.
00:31:07.000 In the fighting of the firm.
00:31:08.000 So like if you're Manchester United versus Manchester City and they hate each other, they have these fights.
00:31:12.000 Jesus fucking Christ.
00:31:14.000 How nutty are we, man, that people in England can't even get along with people in England?
00:31:17.000 Well, that's the whole thing.
00:31:20.000 That goes back to the village mentality too, which is I'm from this village, I hate the other guy from that village.
00:31:24.000 There's some tough motherfuckers from the UK, man.
00:31:27.000 There's some tough motherfuckers anywhere.
00:31:29.000 Yeah, there's all over the world.
00:31:30.000 But there's like a certain, like, there's a London toughness.
00:31:34.000 You know, there's a whole UK toughness.
00:31:36.000 Well, it depends where you come from.
00:31:37.000 I always say the tougher...
00:31:39.000 Actually, the poorer the neighborhood, the tougher the fighter.
00:31:41.000 Often.
00:31:42.000 Because they're fighting for fucking survival.
00:31:44.000 Do you remember Barry McGuigan?
00:31:45.000 I remember fucking Roberto Durant.
00:31:48.000 Fuck yeah.
00:31:48.000 Roberto Durant, because he wasn't as good.
00:31:51.000 He wasn't as Sugar Ray Leonard.
00:31:52.000 He was not as good of a fighter.
00:31:53.000 He was not as fast.
00:31:54.000 He didn't have the time.
00:31:55.000 But he had the heart, and he wanted to win, and he beat him.
00:31:57.000 And it went back and forth, obviously.
00:32:00.000 Well, he fucked up in the second fight.
00:32:02.000 He went from the first fight.
00:32:04.000 That Duran was an animal.
00:32:06.000 That was a street animal.
00:32:08.000 And his boxing was underrated.
00:32:10.000 He just had a very unconventional style.
00:32:12.000 He would paw with the left.
00:32:14.000 He didn't have a stiff left jab the way Leonard did.
00:32:16.000 Leonard would stick you.
00:32:18.000 Duran would paw with the jab to more of a range finder, but he was very clever, man.
00:32:23.000 By then he had already fought Ken Buchanan.
00:32:25.000 You ever watch that fight?
00:32:26.000 He was the original Andrew Gulotta.
00:32:28.000 He fucked up Ken Buchanan with low blows.
00:32:30.000 He blasted him right in the dick.
00:32:32.000 Duran was an animal, man.
00:32:34.000 He was an animal.
00:32:35.000 There was a story where they had went to Panama once to interview him about something.
00:32:40.000 It was for Sports Illustrated or some shit.
00:32:42.000 And while these people were talking to him, he picked up a cat by the tail and threw it against a wall and smashed its head.
00:32:49.000 And they were like, whoa.
00:32:52.000 What the fuck?
00:32:53.000 That's very mean.
00:32:54.000 Like, he was just so...
00:32:55.000 He was savage.
00:32:57.000 I mean, he literally was a wild man.
00:33:00.000 I mean, he became eventually like a brilliant boxer as he developed as a man and after he went through the no-ma situation, you know?
00:33:07.000 For people who don't know, you don't follow boxing.
00:33:09.000 He quit in the second fight.
00:33:11.000 He beat Leonard in a really tough fight in the first fight.
00:33:14.000 Very close fight.
00:33:15.000 Really wild, amazing fight.
00:33:17.000 Even to this day, the standard of that fight is very, very high.
00:33:20.000 Yeah.
00:33:20.000 Like, you could picture the Duran of that era fighting, like, Floyd Mayweather and having an amazing fight.
00:33:27.000 It's not like looking at old football players or old mixed martial artists.
00:33:30.000 It was, like, really hotly contested.
00:33:33.000 Yeah, real high-level stuff.
00:33:35.000 And then the second fight, Duran got fat.
00:33:38.000 He had a hard time making the weight.
00:33:40.000 He apparently, like, struggled to make the weight and they ate, like, a big steak and a gallon of orange juice and got really sick.
00:33:48.000 Really, yeah.
00:33:48.000 Yeah, and then there was also speculation that he was told to throw the fight, that the people had bet on it, but he looked terrible.
00:33:55.000 He just didn't look, and then he quit.
00:33:56.000 And then after he quit, man, fucking Latinos, all the people that supported him, all the Spanish-speaking world were so upset because he was this macho, fucking savage representative of everything.
00:34:10.000 I mean, he just quit for no reason.
00:34:12.000 He's like, no mas, no mas.
00:34:13.000 Like, nothing.
00:34:14.000 He's fine.
00:34:14.000 He's like, you know how much we fucking paid to watch this?
00:34:18.000 Yeah.
00:34:18.000 So he was crushed for years and years.
00:34:20.000 And it was sad.
00:34:21.000 I watched him fight like, you know, it's like all of a sudden he just looked like this doughy version of who he used to be.
00:34:27.000 And then he came back and fought Davey Moore.
00:34:30.000 And if you remember that fight, he was a distinct underdog.
00:34:34.000 He was in his late 30s.
00:34:36.000 I think he was like 36. And in those days, back in that day, it was like, that was really fucking old.
00:34:42.000 Like 36, like Bernard Hopkins just won the title at 48. But in Duran's day, 36 was old as fuck.
00:34:49.000 But he boxed the shit out of Davey Moore.
00:34:51.000 And he thumbed him in the eye, more importantly.
00:34:53.000 He swole up one of his eyes, and he couldn't see.
00:34:56.000 And the kid just didn't, he never had overcome adversity like that.
00:34:59.000 Where he was in with a guy he really couldn't hurt.
00:35:01.000 The guy was just clever enough to get out of the way of all his shit.
00:35:04.000 And land a little bit, and a little bit more, and a little bit more.
00:35:07.000 And as the rounds progressed, he realized, oh my god, I'm getting beat up.
00:35:12.000 Put on them.
00:35:13.000 That was such a wild thing to see.
00:35:16.000 I love a guy that comes back.
00:35:18.000 I love a guy that's like his life's in the toilet and then he bounces back.
00:35:22.000 Yeah, George Foreman.
00:35:23.000 George Foreman's a fascinating story.
00:35:25.000 Fascinating.
00:35:25.000 I remember when he made his comeback.
00:35:27.000 He was 36 years old and he was over 330 pounds or something crazy like that.
00:35:32.000 Like, rotund.
00:35:33.000 Yeah.
00:35:33.000 And it was a joke.
00:35:34.000 I love this fighting style which is sort of like a weeble wobble but we don't fall down.
00:35:38.000 He'd just sort of rock back and forth and he'd keep his left way out there like this because this was what was coming.
00:35:44.000 Yeah, all of it was coming.
00:35:46.000 He could knock you out with anything.
00:35:47.000 He had like hams for fists, that guy.
00:35:51.000 He was an incredible specimen.
00:35:53.000 But he went into four years of heavy depression after the Ali fight.
00:35:57.000 Yeah, it was a brutal fight for him.
00:36:01.000 First of all, he'd never encountered that kind of psychological warfare.
00:36:05.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:36:06.000 When Ali was dancing and screaming to the cameras.
00:36:11.000 Have you seen the documentary on that, When We Were Kings?
00:36:15.000 Amazing, amazing documentary.
00:36:17.000 And if Ali had retired after that fight, maybe he'd still be around to talk about shit today.
00:36:23.000 Maybe we could have him on the podcast.
00:36:26.000 He hadn't really gotten to the point where...
00:36:31.000 His illness kicked in like it does now.
00:36:33.000 It's so sad to watch.
00:36:34.000 Like his later fights.
00:36:36.000 Well, taking the beating that Foreman...
00:36:40.000 Actually, in the documentary, when they say he was taunting him, he was taunting him, and finally, Foreman just let him have it.
00:36:49.000 And then you saw the fear in Ali's eyes.
00:36:51.000 Then you saw, holy shit, what have I done here?
00:36:53.000 But then he lasted it through, and then...
00:36:55.000 You know, boom, came back.
00:36:57.000 That was just a will battle.
00:36:58.000 A battle in a rope-a-dope style.
00:37:00.000 Nobody saw that coming.
00:37:02.000 Against a guy like Foreman?
00:37:04.000 And you see him hitting that heavy bag, just putting a hole in it.
00:37:07.000 You're taking that to the ribs, to the kidneys?
00:37:10.000 There's a guy named LeVar Johnson who fights in the UFC right now who's freakishly strong like that.
00:37:14.000 He's got that ridiculous kind of power.
00:37:16.000 He's a huge guy.
00:37:17.000 He's about 250 pounds.
00:37:19.000 I think he was 260 for his last fight.
00:37:21.000 And he fought Brendan Schaub, who just kept taking him down.
00:37:24.000 Brendan fought a real smart fight because he's just too dangerous standing up.
00:37:27.000 He just knocks out everybody.
00:37:29.000 He's so fucking powerful.
00:37:32.000 I mean, he's not the most technical guy in the sport, but for sure, he's one of the hardest punchers.
00:37:37.000 If he hits you, you're a And everybody's just scrambling to grab ahold of this guy and drag him to the ground as quickly as possible.
00:37:45.000 He's just got that thing.
00:37:47.000 And there's a few guys, like a George Foreman type guy, they just have that thing.
00:37:51.000 They can hit you way harder than you can hit them.
00:37:53.000 Oh, Tyson.
00:37:53.000 Tyson, you know, everyone would watch for his right because he would knock you out and then he was knocking you out with his left.
00:37:58.000 Tyson had speed that just was unrivaled.
00:38:02.000 The ferocity and speed.
00:38:03.000 And the ruthlessness of it.
00:38:06.000 Like if you watch the Marvis-Fraser fight.
00:38:08.000 Him and his prime.
00:38:09.000 Him and his prime.
00:38:09.000 When he was still up in Vermont.
00:38:13.000 Brian, pull up the Marvis-Fraser fight.
00:38:16.000 Pull up Mike Tyson versus Marvis-Fraser.
00:38:18.000 Because in my opinion, this was the scariest I've ever seen a human being be in my life.
00:38:24.000 I remember I was like...
00:38:26.000 I think I was probably like...
00:38:27.000 I was watching this at home on TV, and Tyson just destroyed Marvis Fraser in the most violent fight I had ever seen in a boxing match.
00:38:37.000 And I thought to myself back then, I was like, if there's one person that would be the most terrifying person to be encountered with, it would be Mike Tyson, that has ever lived.
00:38:46.000 Watch this fight.
00:38:47.000 I mean, he just...
00:38:48.000 Marvis Frazier was like a top heavyweight contender.
00:38:51.000 And Tyson just stepped to him and just started fucking blasting him.
00:38:56.000 Dodging under punches.
00:38:57.000 Got him in this corner right here.
00:38:59.000 And this is the end right here.
00:39:01.000 Wah-bing!
00:39:02.000 Bing, bing, bing, bing, bing.
00:39:04.000 That's all before he can fall down.
00:39:06.000 He's already unconscious.
00:39:08.000 Tyson hits him four times more before he even gets to the ground.
00:39:12.000 It was like an assassination.
00:39:14.000 Yeah.
00:39:15.000 When I was watching Tyson, I was like, no one's ever going to beat, not for ten years.
00:39:19.000 He ended up beating himself.
00:39:20.000 Well, you know what it is, man?
00:39:22.000 It's a bunch of things.
00:39:23.000 First of all, once you've gotten there, it's got to be a very strange and uncharted place in your mind and in your ability to maintain discipline.
00:39:33.000 He had been very protected.
00:39:34.000 He'd been living in this.
00:39:35.000 Well, he's also 20-something years old.
00:39:37.000 But he'd been trained.
00:39:39.000 He'd been taken out of Brownsville.
00:39:41.000 He'd been taken out of Reform School.
00:39:42.000 He'd been trained by one of the greatest trainers of all time.
00:39:45.000 You know, adopted effectively by him.
00:39:48.000 And more importantly, Customato was one of the greatest psychological trainers of all time.
00:39:52.000 And he saw in him, he said, he's the greatest raw talent I've ever seen.
00:39:56.000 And he would, Customato would say things that to this day, there's, you can have a short, precise point that an athlete can digest and take with him as he steps out of the locker room and into the ring that actually can help.
00:40:12.000 Mm-hmm.
00:40:12.000 And Customato said one of the most brilliant things that I've ever heard when it comes to being terrified in the face of combat and in the face of a fight.
00:40:21.000 And he said that every man experiences fire.
00:40:24.000 And that fire can cook your food, it can heat your house, or if you let it get away, it can burn you to the ground.
00:40:31.000 And you have to decide how to take care of it.
00:40:34.000 But the coward and the hero feel the exact same thing.
00:40:38.000 It's just the coward...
00:40:39.000 It falls into the pressure where the hero figures out how to manage it and overcome it and actually rises to the occasion and keeps it together.
00:40:47.000 So for Custom Mono, he had studied psychology and he had studied so many aspects that are crucial to success in that crazy, isolated type of a sport.
00:41:02.000 You've got a guy like Tyson who's this needy, young, energetic, physical specimen, just Just filled with anger and rage and not getting enough love.
00:41:13.000 And all of a sudden this Yoda motherfucker comes out of the Catskills.
00:41:16.000 He was Yoda, yeah.
00:41:18.000 It's one of the greatest stories in sports history.
00:41:20.000 It's sad the way it ended.
00:41:22.000 It isn't sad, man.
00:41:24.000 It's not sad.
00:41:25.000 He's alive.
00:41:25.000 He's fine.
00:41:26.000 Tyson's doing these story shows.
00:41:29.000 Dana White told me it's fucking fantastic.
00:41:33.000 Right.
00:41:33.000 He goes on and he tells these wild stories about his life, and Spike Lee directed it.
00:41:38.000 It's apparently amazing.
00:41:39.000 So it's not sad.
00:41:41.000 It's inevitable.
00:41:42.000 There's no way you can keep beating people up, and that's happy.
00:41:45.000 Because it's always sad for the people you beat up.
00:41:48.000 I mean, there is no happy ending if you beat the fuck out of people for the rest of your life.
00:41:52.000 There's no happy ending.
00:41:53.000 There's a bunch of sad endings.
00:41:55.000 There's your happy ending.
00:41:56.000 You're happy.
00:41:57.000 You get to retire undefeated.
00:41:58.000 Yay!
00:41:59.000 No, I never had to take it.
00:42:01.000 Dished it all out.
00:42:02.000 Good night, everybody.
00:42:03.000 Like Rocky Marciano.
00:42:05.000 It was the big deal that Rocky Marciano reached whatever it was, 46-0 or 39-0.
00:42:11.000 And everybody was like, Marciano was the only one to retire undefeated.
00:42:14.000 Well, that's almost unfair.
00:42:15.000 Right, right.
00:42:16.000 It's almost unfair, you know?
00:42:18.000 I'd like to retire undefeated.
00:42:20.000 Not for my parasite eating your asshole.
00:42:23.000 I think, yeah, you lost that game.
00:42:25.000 You had to cheat.
00:42:26.000 You had to take performance enhancing drugs.
00:42:29.000 Your immune system wasn't able to fight off the alien.
00:42:31.000 You had to swallow poison.
00:42:34.000 I don't know, man.
00:42:35.000 I'm just talking shit.
00:42:37.000 What was it like hunting in Japan?
00:42:41.000 Weren't you hunting animals?
00:42:42.000 No, no, no.
00:42:43.000 You're confusing it.
00:42:44.000 Siberia.
00:42:44.000 They were in Chernobyl.
00:42:45.000 Yeah, we talked about that last time.
00:42:48.000 Yeah, the wolves.
00:42:49.000 They're freakish giant wolves out there.
00:42:51.000 Yeah.
00:42:52.000 Well, they're mutated.
00:42:55.000 Mutated animals.
00:42:56.000 Is that true?
00:42:56.000 For real?
00:42:57.000 100%?
00:42:58.000 100%.
00:42:58.000 What did they look like?
00:43:00.000 Well, the mutations are mostly internal because the exclusion zone, which is a huge area, is radioactive and so they've undergone mutations.
00:43:13.000 I actually read something the other day saying I'm from Ukraine and there's all these horses out there and there aren't mutations.
00:43:20.000 We actually have the guys, the people who run the exclusion zone, admitting on camera Yes, they're mutated.
00:43:30.000 The scientists are saying they're mutated.
00:43:32.000 And of course they're mutated because they're growing up in a radioactive zone about the size of France.
00:43:40.000 But yeah, we went to hunt them.
00:43:42.000 The thing is, we had a Geiger counter with us.
00:43:46.000 And whenever you go off and they go into the forest, the forest, which is where all the dirt and everything is trapped, it would go off the register.
00:43:56.000 I mean, it was like...
00:43:58.000 I forget what it was, but it was like 400 mega rems or whatever was safe, and we got to 14,000 at one point.
00:44:08.000 Speaking of parasites, I'll take, but 1,400 times the healthy dose of radiation.
00:44:17.000 Yeah, but you might have zombie parasites now.
00:44:21.000 Radioactive parasites.
00:44:22.000 Have you seen the fish?
00:44:23.000 Have you seen the fish of Chernobyl, those videos of these enormous fish?
00:44:27.000 Brian, pull that up because it's really strange.
00:44:30.000 I mean, I don't know, maybe these fish, maybe I'm just ignorant and they're like sturgeons or something.
00:44:33.000 If you look at now, too, if you look at what's happening in Japan, they have massive protests in Japan saying you have to stop nuclear energy.
00:44:43.000 Look at what the fuck happened in in Fukushima because you know we had a tsunami which we're gonna have more and more of but guess what now we have whole radioactive villages and you know radiation in the groundwater radiation all but radiation in the food What is that?
00:45:00.000 That's like a giant carp.
00:45:01.000 Is that a fish in Fukushima that's fucked up?
00:45:03.000 That's just a giant carp, dude.
00:45:04.000 I think that's in...
00:45:05.000 If you Google radioactive fish of Chernobyl, there's a video where these people are by this river and these enormous fish.
00:45:16.000 I don't know what they are.
00:45:17.000 I mean, maybe it's just that's what they are.
00:45:19.000 Maybe it's like there's a lot of fish there and the people went there didn't know.
00:45:21.000 When we were there, the people who run the actual zone were saying that the animals, they admitted the animals are mutated.
00:45:31.000 And so, well, of course they are.
00:45:33.000 I mean, why wouldn't they?
00:45:34.000 You have massive amounts of radiation.
00:45:38.000 How can they not be?
00:45:39.000 We had this dude, Scott Sigler, on the podcast yesterday, and he's an author, and he writes about shit like that, like a fucking island of mutated animals that are 650 pounds, and they're packed predators with fins.
00:45:51.000 So you're freaking me out right now, man.
00:45:53.000 You're freaking me out with these Siberian werewolf stories.
00:45:57.000 That would be an awesome movie, though, Siberian werewolf, because of the mutation.
00:46:01.000 Yeah.
00:46:02.000 That was like, you know, almost all of the like, like when you were a kid, but well, not all of them, but it was always a constant theme for superheroes.
00:46:11.000 Yeah.
00:46:11.000 You know, like David Banner became the Hulk.
00:46:14.000 It was Bruce Banner originally, but they thought that was too gay for television.
00:46:17.000 Right.
00:46:17.000 So they changed it to David when it was on television.
00:46:19.000 It was always you came close to it, but just close enough.
00:46:22.000 The X-Men.
00:46:23.000 The good shit would happen.
00:46:24.000 Yeah.
00:46:24.000 They would all get like some super power.
00:46:26.000 As opposed to testicular cancer or fucking renal cancer.
00:46:31.000 Wasn't the Fantastic Four, like they got fucking blasted, something happened and they became super powerful?
00:46:39.000 We're so funny.
00:46:41.000 Usually we're talking about politics.
00:46:43.000 We're like, how the hell did the Fantastic Four become so...
00:46:46.000 I've always liked the Fantastic Four, man.
00:46:50.000 I always liked comic books when I was a kid.
00:46:53.000 And that was such a big theme that somehow or another you would get into some encounter with massive amounts of radiation, but you would become a superhero.
00:47:03.000 And so every kid sort of looked at that like, wow, yeah, man.
00:47:06.000 As opposed to, you know, what it does to you.
00:47:10.000 Bunnies being born with no arms or legs.
00:47:13.000 Dude, it's...
00:47:14.000 Yeah.
00:47:14.000 Weird shit.
00:47:15.000 Bad shit.
00:47:16.000 Bad, bad shit.
00:47:16.000 Yeah.
00:47:17.000 And you don't know, like, how is this all going to balance out?
00:47:20.000 How long is it going to take?
00:47:21.000 Because, by the way, life can sort of barely trudge on in an incredibly fucked up state of toxicity for several thousand years.
00:47:28.000 Mm-hmm.
00:47:29.000 And, you know, eventually get to the point where it either figures out how to clean everything up or mutates to the point where you can tolerate it.
00:47:36.000 But it's not going to be fun, you know?
00:47:38.000 No.
00:47:40.000 It's avoidable, too.
00:47:41.000 Well, when we interviewed the IAEA for our World's Most Dangerous Border piece, which I think we talked about here, India, Pakistan, and Kashmir, which actually the fort that we were based out of just got attacked yesterday, They said categorically that if you use more than 100 warheads,
00:48:00.000 of which they have hundreds of warheads pointing at each other in Pakistan, that the world, as we know it, ceases to exist.
00:48:07.000 Everything is just, I mean, the ozone is gone.
00:48:10.000 It's over.
00:48:11.000 It's like, you know, the Planet of the Apes dudes who are living underground?
00:48:14.000 That's the type of shit that you're, you know, and you sit there and say, this is what's happening today is that India and Pakistan hating each other mean that, you know, we have the distinct possibility that Our ozone is gone or...
00:48:28.000 That one of these crazy fucks pushes the button.
00:48:30.000 Exactly.
00:48:31.000 Well, then we have to hope that the aliens land and stop all that shit.
00:48:35.000 That's the only thing that can save us.
00:48:37.000 Well, maybe if aliens were real, that would be the time to move.
00:48:41.000 To get in between India and Pakistan and go, guys, guys, guys!
00:48:46.000 God damn!
00:48:47.000 What is this mess you've got here?
00:48:49.000 Why is there a billion people here?
00:48:51.000 Yeah.
00:48:51.000 Everybody settle the fuck down.
00:48:53.000 You look exactly the same when you hate each other.
00:48:55.000 That's nonsense.
00:48:55.000 And you're right across some stupid divide.
00:48:59.000 One person believes one pile of wacky bullshit and the other person...
00:49:02.000 Everybody settle the fuck down.
00:49:04.000 I agree.
00:49:06.000 You need a big spaceship to pull that off though.
00:49:08.000 Like several football fields long and you need to do a magic trick or two.
00:49:11.000 And let these bitches know that you're there for...
00:49:13.000 For serious.
00:49:14.000 You're not taking any bullshit.
00:49:15.000 Make some trees disappear.
00:49:17.000 I think you're out here in L.A. in the land of Scientology.
00:49:20.000 You've got to get the aliens.
00:49:22.000 Dr. Zog and the Phaetans and all that.
00:49:25.000 Amazing how easy that was to pull off when you really read that story.
00:49:28.000 Sure.
00:49:29.000 Doesn't it make you want to start a cult?
00:49:30.000 Just a little baby one?
00:49:31.000 It's pretty interesting, I've got to say.
00:49:33.000 I'm fascinated by it.
00:49:34.000 It's amazing.
00:49:36.000 If you could live in the 1950s and start your cult around the same time he started his cult.
00:49:41.000 People start cults.
00:49:43.000 Warren Jeff's, you know, is doing it right now.
00:49:46.000 Warren Jeff's...
00:49:47.000 That's Utah, though.
00:49:48.000 It's a totally different animal.
00:49:50.000 Utah's a different animal.
00:49:51.000 You can pull it off there.
00:49:52.000 You can't get any New Mexicans to buy into that bullshit.
00:49:55.000 We did a...
00:49:57.000 Well, they buy into it all over the place, but we did a story on the Lost Boys.
00:50:00.000 You know these guys, the Lost Boys?
00:50:02.000 No.
00:50:03.000 Because of, well, more in Jeff's case, he has like 78 wives.
00:50:13.000 Shazam!
00:50:13.000 Why you hating, bitch?
00:50:15.000 The elders get like 20, 30, 40 wives.
00:50:18.000 But then just by math, okay, there's only X amount of women, so they have to get rid of these...
00:50:24.000 The kids, the men.
00:50:26.000 Okay, you're not thinking in terms of being bountiful.
00:50:28.000 I think you're bringing more women.
00:50:30.000 See, you're seeing a problem.
00:50:31.000 I see an equation that you have to solve.
00:50:36.000 And what you need to do is bring in more crazy bitches.
00:50:40.000 What's happening is they kick the men, the boys, out.
00:50:43.000 And so these kids who grew up in this religion that says everybody else is evil and you can't do anything and they don't know how to pay bills, they don't know anything.
00:50:50.000 They just kick them out and said, okay, you're gone now.
00:50:52.000 Because they want the girls.
00:50:53.000 They have to have the girls.
00:50:54.000 Okay, that's weak.
00:50:55.000 That's player hating.
00:50:57.000 You're not loving your brothers and sisters.
00:50:59.000 They're in your crazy cult together.
00:51:01.000 You're kicking out your own kids.
00:51:03.000 You're also kicking out people who know how crazy your nutty cult is, and they're going to eventually tell people why they're so sad.
00:51:10.000 Why so sad, Billy?
00:51:11.000 Right.
00:51:11.000 My fucking dad needs to have a hundred fucking bitches to marry, so he kicked me out so I can't have girlfriends.
00:51:19.000 Those poor girls that grow up with no men, and they're forced to accept the fact that the 70-year-old guys...
00:51:24.000 I like the voice that you're adopting.
00:51:26.000 That's me.
00:51:26.000 That's me in therapy.
00:51:27.000 If I got kicked out by my dad and he was fucking this girl I was in love with, my own dad's like, Shut up, son!
00:51:34.000 Get out of the room!
00:51:35.000 She's mine!
00:51:37.000 Mine!
00:51:37.000 Mine!
00:51:38.000 I need a hundred of them.
00:51:39.000 A hundred.
00:51:40.000 But you know what?
00:51:41.000 On the other hand, you can't hate.
00:51:42.000 If the guy can keep it up...
00:51:44.000 Wow.
00:51:46.000 I don't know.
00:51:47.000 I don't know if he can keep it up in prison.
00:51:49.000 Don't take that out of context, ladies and gentlemen.
00:51:50.000 I don't really mean that.
00:51:52.000 That was only in jest.
00:51:54.000 I think that that guy obviously victimized some poor people that were easily led.
00:51:58.000 My question has always been, why are people still so easily led?
00:52:02.000 That's a good question.
00:52:03.000 Is it just a way the body is designed that some of us are worker bees and some of us are middle management and some of us are the contrarians hanging on the outside like you or I? Life is hard.
00:52:16.000 Life is hard.
00:52:18.000 And you're looking for someone to say here's why it's hard.
00:52:21.000 Here's why it's hard.
00:52:22.000 And by the way if you work hard and do what I say then you're going to go someplace better because now it's a bitch.
00:52:28.000 Now it's fucking hard as shit.
00:52:29.000 But if you do all this shit it's going to get better.
00:52:32.000 And you know what else it is?
00:52:34.000 It's like being in a group is great.
00:52:37.000 It's nice to be in a group.
00:52:38.000 It's us against them.
00:52:40.000 Yeah, like what we call death squad.
00:52:43.000 It's not like...
00:52:44.000 You don't have to join it or anything like that.
00:52:46.000 It's not real.
00:52:47.000 It's not a real organization.
00:52:49.000 Yeah, the tattoo.
00:52:49.000 Is it in your right cheek?
00:52:51.000 Yeah.
00:52:52.000 I got the whole...
00:52:53.000 But it's cool.
00:52:55.000 When we go places and we see all those death squad shirts, there's something cool about it.
00:53:01.000 There's something undeniably cool about it.
00:53:03.000 We're not trying to really start a cult.
00:53:04.000 We're not telling anybody what to do.
00:53:06.000 But if we show up somewhere and you're wearing a death squad shirt, it's kind of badass.
00:53:10.000 It's like, what's up, man?
00:53:11.000 How you doing?
00:53:12.000 You know, most likely, unless he's an undercover cop, that's going to be a very nice guy.
00:53:16.000 You know what I mean?
00:53:17.000 I understand what this podcast is for now.
00:53:19.000 I'm finally getting your light.
00:53:20.000 Selling Mises.
00:53:21.000 Starting a cult would be cool.
00:53:24.000 No.
00:53:24.000 But you don't want a real cult.
00:53:26.000 See, the best kind of cult is the kind of cult that doesn't really have any foundation whatsoever.
00:53:32.000 No leadership.
00:53:34.000 There's no structure.
00:53:35.000 And everybody kind of knows what the fuck to do.
00:53:37.000 That's the perfect cult.
00:53:38.000 Where you can't really say you're doing anything.
00:53:41.000 Because you're not doing anything.
00:53:43.000 You've set up the meta cult.
00:53:44.000 You just podcast.
00:53:46.000 That's what you do.
00:53:47.000 You just start podcasting.
00:53:48.000 And eventually you get into their system.
00:53:51.000 And once you get into their system, you tell them, listen, man, we just need to spread this and we're all going to be okay.
00:53:57.000 We just need to get this out to everybody.
00:53:59.000 Spread it out as far and wide.
00:54:02.000 And it's real simple.
00:54:03.000 It's like Jim Jeffery said about the Bible.
00:54:05.000 Did you ever see Jim Jeffery's bit about the Bible?
00:54:06.000 It should say, don't be a cunt.
00:54:09.000 And really, are you peeing?
00:54:11.000 Are you getting up to pee?
00:54:12.000 More alcohol.
00:54:13.000 That's a good move.
00:54:15.000 Jamie, why don't you...
00:54:16.000 Yeah, one of you gentlemen that's not working.
00:54:18.000 Shane, you sure you don't want the Kool-Aid?
00:54:21.000 Shane, our Kool-Aid has been processed in a special microfilter that's pumped uphill.
00:54:26.000 Using on it.
00:54:27.000 Yeah, using gravel and stream water.
00:54:30.000 And it's all broadcast live on audible.com.
00:54:36.000 But thank you, sir.
00:54:38.000 Thank you very much.
00:54:41.000 I really do think, all bullshit aside, that your shit that you guys are doing on Vice.com has as much of an impact on where this culture is going and the potential that this culture has for understanding The true inner workings of all the various aspects of intergovernmental relationships and nutty places like Chernobyl and the Liberia episode.
00:55:10.000 I didn't know anything about Liberia until I watched that show.
00:55:14.000 You guys have done more.
00:55:16.000 Look, just for educating me, okay?
00:55:18.000 And I can, I mean, not really educate people, but tell you what link to click on.
00:55:24.000 Sure.
00:55:24.000 But that kind of a connection?
00:55:26.000 You guys have exposed me to some of the most little understood, little talked about things that are so bizarre and hard to believe that exist today.
00:55:39.000 I think I said this last time.
00:55:42.000 Your audience is maybe the best audience in the goddamn world because we, you know, people used to say Vice was the best content on the web that you've never seen.
00:55:51.000 And when we started to come out here and do this podcast, all of a sudden we'd get these, you know, fanatical, sort of positivist, wow, like great responses.
00:56:00.000 And it was always with the hashtag, you know, Powerful or Rogan or whatever.
00:56:04.000 And it's always by...
00:56:05.000 100% of the time, it's your...
00:56:07.000 You know, and I've got to say...
00:56:09.000 That says a lot about you, but it also says a lot about the people who listen to this podcast, which is they're thinking for themselves.
00:56:16.000 They're listening to alternative shit.
00:56:18.000 They're not believing the bullshit that they see on regular mainstream TV. And look, they're positive when someone says, look, like you said, you and I live on the periphery.
00:56:28.000 And we live on the periphery, but we're trying to do our thing.
00:56:31.000 And you know what?
00:56:32.000 When people who listen to this podcast are so positive...
00:56:36.000 It makes me fucking happy and it makes me say, you know, I don't mind.
00:56:39.000 I got a helmet-headed fucking flesh-eating fucking colon.
00:56:43.000 Because these motherfuckers on Twitter and on Facebook and on Vice, they're so fucking positive.
00:56:49.000 And then, you know, I'm going to tell you another thing.
00:56:51.000 It makes me feel like we can change shit.
00:56:53.000 It makes me feel like, okay, there is some negative motherfuckers out there in the world who are doing some really bad shit.
00:56:58.000 But we can actually do things to stop that.
00:57:02.000 And you're doing it and I'm doing it.
00:57:03.000 And by the way, the people on this podcast are doing it.
00:57:06.000 And the more people that actually educate themselves and listen to you and come in here and check on those links, that's fucking how we change shit.
00:57:14.000 We shouldn't expect anyone else to change the shit for you because they won't.
00:57:17.000 I agree with you, and I also believe that it's also a matter of projecting...
00:57:31.000 We're good to go.
00:57:52.000 They sort of like get this view like okay, here's this fucking guy who's out here doing all this crazy shit and he's saying all these things like this guy has no reason to lie to me this guy's he's not like anybody that I've ever met before but yet I'm sort of absorbing his thoughts and by doing that you're injecting these ideas that might not have ever manifest themselves in hundreds of thousands and millions of people and that's some powerful,
00:58:19.000 powerful, powerful shit And it's not on CBS, and it's not on NBC, and it's never going to be.
00:58:24.000 It's never going to be broadcast by anybody that doesn't want to risk everything they already have.
00:58:30.000 Which we get a lot of shit for.
00:58:31.000 We get a lot of shit for.
00:58:33.000 And this is another thing I want to say about the people on this podcast.
00:58:36.000 A lot of times, for example, what just went down in North Korea, we get attacked by mainstream media.
00:58:44.000 And yet, you know, people who are on the periphery, people who are watching us, people are just like, exactly, this is exactly what the fuck we want to have go on.
00:58:52.000 Well, nobody exposed mainstream, well, nobody in the mainstream, rather, exposed North Korea the way that you guys did.
00:58:58.000 When you went to North Korea and showed those fake restaurants and showed just how spooky and nutty the atmosphere was over there, We were not...
00:59:09.000 There was no shows that were doing that.
00:59:11.000 There was no...
00:59:12.000 60 Minutes wasn't doing that.
00:59:14.000 The honesty in which you portray things, like from Ladyboys in Thailand, you know what I mean?
00:59:21.000 Like when you were hanging with the Ladyboys.
00:59:22.000 Dude, I'm telling you, man, I became a fan of yours when I saw that video of you hanging with the Ladyboys.
00:59:28.000 You know why?
00:59:29.000 Here's why.
00:59:30.000 Because you were being kind to them.
00:59:32.000 You were being nice to them.
00:59:33.000 You were chilling out with them in a bathtub and all laughing and so on.
00:59:37.000 But it wasn't even...
00:59:38.000 You weren't being creepy and sexual.
00:59:40.000 You weren't being a douchebag.
00:59:41.000 You were being a sweetheart.
00:59:43.000 You were being a nice person to a bunch of other nice people.
00:59:45.000 No bullshit.
00:59:47.000 And...
00:59:48.000 It's hard to do that.
00:59:49.000 It's hard to do that.
00:59:50.000 It's hard to do that without this fucking faggot.
00:59:53.000 It's hard to do that without someone being mad at you.
00:59:56.000 It's hard to do that without protecting your ego.
00:59:58.000 How are people going to think about you?
01:00:00.000 You're hanging out with these ladyboys.
01:00:02.000 You were just a guy who was there and he was trying to be nice to some other people and they were being nice to you back and it was the right thing to do and it resonated.
01:00:10.000 And I remember watching that video going, this guy's a cool motherfucker.
01:00:14.000 And I... I think that was before I even saw Heinmo's adventure, Arctic Adventure, which was the thing that really made me a vice addict.
01:00:25.000 I look at vice.com more than any other website on the net, pretty much, other than Twitter and checking my own email.
01:00:34.000 I watch all your shit.
01:00:36.000 I watch that Heinmo's great adventure, whatever it was, Arctic Adventure.
01:00:40.000 What is the actual name of that?
01:00:41.000 It was Vice Guide to Travel.
01:00:43.000 Yeah, it was the most remote man on earth.
01:00:47.000 Heimo, the remotest place on earth.
01:00:49.000 The remotest man on earth.
01:00:50.000 If you just Google Heimo and Vice, you'll find out whatever the actual...
01:00:55.000 Do you know what it is, Brian?
01:00:57.000 No.
01:00:57.000 Did you try one of the ladyboys, by the way?
01:01:01.000 How dare you?
01:01:02.000 How dare you?
01:01:03.000 You know we're on the internet?
01:01:05.000 Everyone always asks me that question.
01:01:07.000 You're like...
01:01:07.000 You understand that there's like two camera guys and sound crews.
01:01:11.000 Like we're shooting.
01:01:13.000 So what?
01:01:15.000 You did the right thing, man.
01:01:16.000 It was beautiful.
01:01:17.000 I wish I would be that strong.
01:01:18.000 I'd be like, bitch, get off me.
01:01:19.000 You know how it is.
01:01:23.000 At a certain point in your life, you don't give a fuck what anybody thinks about you.
01:01:27.000 You're just like, you know what?
01:01:28.000 I'm going to do my shit.
01:01:29.000 I'm going to try to get through the day and do the best thing I possibly can.
01:01:32.000 And that's it.
01:01:33.000 That's all I can do, you know?
01:01:34.000 Well, I think that's a possible state to achieve and maintain, but I think it's difficult to get there.
01:01:40.000 For a lot of people, that's an alien concept.
01:01:43.000 And that's why when I saw you were so comfortable and cool about that, I was like, there's no way that guy's not cool.
01:01:50.000 I was like, that's a cool motherfucker.
01:01:52.000 You were just really easy with these people.
01:01:54.000 It was fun.
01:01:55.000 And I really...
01:01:57.000 There was an issue that came up last week or earlier this week about transgender MMA fighters.
01:02:03.000 There's a woman who used to be a man who's now fighting in MMA against women.
01:02:11.000 I've gotten some heat about it on Twitter that I took the wrong stance because I said that that's a guy that cut his dick off and he's fighting girls.
01:02:18.000 That's the end of the story.
01:02:19.000 You can say all you want.
01:02:21.000 I don't care what the Olympic Committee says.
01:02:22.000 There's a different mechanical advantage to being a man.
01:02:25.000 But that in no way.
01:02:27.000 I want everyone to know that if you really feel like you are supposed to be a woman and you're a man, I will still be friends with you.
01:02:37.000 I have zero issue with that.
01:02:40.000 My only issue in that Venue is that I understand the mechanical advantage of the male frame.
01:02:47.000 I just do.
01:02:48.000 If I lost my dick and balls, if I decided to chop my dick and balls off and be a woman, I would still have these giant hands.
01:02:57.000 And they're not going to shrink.
01:02:58.000 These aren't going to go away.
01:03:00.000 So there's a mechanical advantage to having this big hammer fist to punch a girl in the face with.
01:03:05.000 That's fucked up.
01:03:06.000 It's just not the same.
01:03:08.000 And anybody who says that it's the same as far as athletics, it might be the same in track and field.
01:03:14.000 If you don't have balls anymore, you might not be able to run as fast.
01:03:17.000 Have you ever seen the beautiful boxer?
01:03:19.000 Have you ever seen that movie?
01:03:20.000 That's the Thai boxer that was a ladyboy with testicles, successful, then chopped him off and then started getting his ass kicked.
01:03:28.000 I believe she stopped after...
01:03:31.000 I think she fought for a while.
01:03:32.000 Yeah, that was the issue.
01:03:33.000 I interviewed her in Bangkok and we fought with her a little bit.
01:03:38.000 And I gotta say, she could kick the shit out of people.
01:03:41.000 But, you know, she was a guy fighting other guys.
01:03:44.000 But, you know, yeah.
01:03:46.000 I feel for those people.
01:03:48.000 I understand that the body is not...
01:03:50.000 My thing is, whatever gets you through the fucking day.
01:03:52.000 But not that way.
01:03:53.000 However, if you're talking about sports, you sit there and say, I don't know what we're looking at.
01:03:59.000 Well, you're not even just talking about sports.
01:04:01.000 You're talking about the most violent sport in the world.
01:04:05.000 And a sport which I understand.
01:04:07.000 And I am telling you from a perspective that very few people enjoy.
01:04:12.000 I'm telling you from the most honest perspective possible.
01:04:15.000 I have called more than a thousand fights.
01:04:17.000 I don't know how many fights I've ever done commentary on over 10 plus years of doing it.
01:04:22.000 A man has an advantage.
01:04:24.000 There's a big difference.
01:04:26.000 There's not a little difference.
01:04:27.000 There's a big difference.
01:04:28.000 Well, also then you start to deal with, you know, the questions of there's steroids involved and there's different things and enhancements and other weird shit that's involved and all that stuff.
01:04:37.000 Also, the predatory mind of the male is a very different mindset.
01:04:41.000 If you're 30 years old and you get your dick cut off at 30, you've had 30 years of man living.
01:04:47.000 Right, right.
01:04:47.000 Okay?
01:04:48.000 There's a different thing.
01:04:49.000 Fighting and dealing with bullshit and dealing with violence and dealing with, you know, possible death.
01:04:55.000 When you're hanging out with a bunch of creepy people when you're 18 years old, there's a bunch of violent sexual men.
01:05:00.000 Yeah.
01:05:01.000 Gang, right.
01:05:02.000 Yes, anything can happen.
01:05:04.000 Especially if there's little money and very few parental influences that are positive.
01:05:10.000 There's some dangerous shit.
01:05:12.000 If you get through all that and then you cut your dick and balls off, you still lived all that.
01:05:16.000 You're still a man.
01:05:16.000 You're still a violent motherfucker.
01:05:18.000 You're still a dangerous dude that happens to want to be a woman.
01:05:21.000 And why are you getting into shit?
01:05:24.000 Because I said that although I support anybody becoming transgender, if that's what you really want to do, I would never tell anybody what they can and can't do.
01:05:34.000 But you shouldn't be fighting women.
01:05:36.000 Maybe a tranny league.
01:05:38.000 And I don't say tranny.
01:05:40.000 It's not derogatory.
01:05:41.000 Until it is.
01:05:43.000 Didn't the guy from Bravo get in trouble for using the word twink?
01:05:47.000 I don't know.
01:05:48.000 Trust me.
01:05:49.000 I just remember, I remember seeing a video of these big sort of, you know, Aussie rugby player types.
01:05:58.000 And they, I guess, were fucking with some, you know, tranny, ladyboy, whatever.
01:06:03.000 And the ladyboy kicked the shit out of them, like, just flatten these three rugby players.
01:06:07.000 Because I guess they were actually MMA or they were something, Muay Thai or some sort of fighting.
01:06:12.000 And this tranny just fucking leveled them.
01:06:15.000 It's on YouTube.
01:06:16.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
01:06:16.000 And I was just like, well, you got to think that, you know, if you're in most countries, maybe not Thailand, but if you're a ladyboy or a female or transgender or whatever, they're fighting all the fucking time, you know?
01:06:29.000 And so, you know, anyway, I saw that video and it was just kind of like, because I hate those, I was just in Thailand at a conference and there's all these fucking, you know, Australian sort of rugby dudes who are just spoiling for a fight, just They just want to go and they just want to fight.
01:06:47.000 You know what those guys need to do?
01:06:48.000 They need to get out of rugby and get into some MMA. If you want to fight, you should be fighting, man.
01:06:53.000 And I would tell them that.
01:06:54.000 I'd be like, look, bro, you're a bad motherfucker.
01:06:56.000 It's obvious.
01:06:57.000 The reason why you're trying to fight at bars is you need to be testing yourself in that way in a gym.
01:07:03.000 I agree.
01:07:04.000 Get out of rugby, bitch!
01:07:06.000 Knuckle up, son!
01:07:07.000 Take a leg kick!
01:07:09.000 Defend the choke, bitch!
01:07:11.000 Come on, stop it with your stupid ball.
01:07:13.000 That's a goddamn euphemism.
01:07:14.000 Who gives a fuck what happens with that ball?
01:07:16.000 You take away your nutty score thing with one, oh, you got a point, whoa, oh no, they did what we didn't want them to do.
01:07:24.000 That's all nonsense.
01:07:25.000 What you're doing is trying to stop what you really want to do.
01:07:27.000 And what you really want to do is...
01:07:28.000 One on one.
01:07:30.000 Man to man.
01:07:31.000 Someone your size.
01:07:32.000 No mechanical advantage.
01:07:33.000 No weight advantage.
01:07:34.000 Let's see.
01:07:35.000 Let's see what's going on.
01:07:37.000 Let's see what's going on.
01:07:38.000 So any rugby player that shows up and wants a fight, stop being a pussy.
01:07:42.000 Get out of rugby.
01:07:43.000 I'm gonna send him to you.
01:07:45.000 I will help them.
01:07:46.000 I was saying, you're a bad motherfucker.
01:07:48.000 There's a rage inside of you.
01:07:49.000 You need to project that shit in the right way.
01:07:51.000 And this ball thing isn't working out.
01:07:55.000 You need to leave that ball alone.
01:07:57.000 Nobody gives a fuck if you get it across that line.
01:07:59.000 That's nonsense.
01:08:00.000 You're playing a game.
01:08:01.000 Oh, you kicked it between the two sticks.
01:08:03.000 The world has changed!
01:08:06.000 No, it hasn't.
01:08:06.000 Nothing's changed, okay?
01:08:08.000 You still, you're fighting off those bullies that fucked with you when you were in the seventh grade.
01:08:12.000 What you need to do is some fucking kettlebells, son.
01:08:15.000 Some bodyweight squats.
01:08:16.000 Learn some jujitsu.
01:08:17.000 Choke some bitches out.
01:08:18.000 Get it out of your system.
01:08:19.000 There you go.
01:08:20.000 Stop fighting in bars.
01:08:21.000 Stop letting the demon alcohol bring it out of your body.
01:08:26.000 I agree with you because they just bum my fucking...
01:08:28.000 They harsh my buzz.
01:08:29.000 They do harsh my buzz too, man.
01:08:32.000 Because the guys that get it out in the gym, they don't look for it anywhere.
01:08:38.000 Well, I'll tell you what.
01:08:38.000 When you drink, the real you comes out and the real me is just a jovial 80-year-old man.
01:08:43.000 I'm like fucking Buddha.
01:08:44.000 I'm just sitting there drinking my drink.
01:08:45.000 I'm having a good old time.
01:08:47.000 And, you know, when you see these dudes come out and they have a few drinks in them and they get all, you know, randified and you're just like...
01:08:54.000 Yes.
01:08:55.000 Anyway.
01:08:56.000 It's not necessary.
01:08:57.000 It's not good for them.
01:08:59.000 They all need hugs.
01:09:01.000 They all do, man.
01:09:02.000 Well, you and I both know if you're a real fighter, you won't fight in a bar.
01:09:06.000 Well, why would you want to hit someone that doesn't want to get hit, that doesn't want to fight?
01:09:10.000 And if they do want to fight, is it possible that can be avoided with talking?
01:09:14.000 And if it's not, they're probably a bitch.
01:09:16.000 Or you're crazy.
01:09:18.000 If you're a real fighter, you're not going to fight a bar.
01:09:19.000 Someone's going to take a bottle of your head.
01:09:20.000 That's not true.
01:09:20.000 This guy's like Tank Abbott that will fight you anywhere.
01:09:23.000 He'll fight you on a plane.
01:09:25.000 And he's a real fighter.
01:09:26.000 It's just that's that dude.
01:09:28.000 That's what he's all about.
01:09:29.000 He's not about...
01:09:30.000 Let me say most professional fighters.
01:09:33.000 A guy like Tank Abbott, he's one of my favorite fighters of all time.
01:09:36.000 And one of the reasons why is not because he was the best, not because he was the most technical or won the most titles, is that you genuinely knew for a fact, 100%, no doubt about it, If you fucking flap your gums in front of Tank Abbott,
01:09:52.000 he's going to make you swallow your teeth.
01:09:54.000 It doesn't matter if you're on a Greyhound bus or on a fucking space shuttle.
01:09:58.000 He's going to beat your ass.
01:10:00.000 And there's a reality to that that I find refreshing.
01:10:03.000 Like drowning in the ocean or getting hit in the head by a meteor.
01:10:08.000 There's certain unavoidable consequences to being in the wrong place at the wrong time.
01:10:13.000 But that's why I say most of the...
01:10:17.000 Many more than I do, but most professional fighters or fighters who do it for a living aren't going to get to a fight in a bar because someone's going to take a bottle to their head, you're going to fuck up your hand, you're going to do something...
01:10:27.000 That or they would, and they would clean out the whole bar and you have a real problem on your hands.
01:10:32.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:10:34.000 A guy like Randy Couture and Dan Henderson.
01:10:36.000 I don't know if this is a true story or not, but there's a legendary story about those two guys in college when they were both elite wrestlers just cleaning out a ball.
01:10:46.000 I don't know if it's true.
01:10:47.000 I never talked to Randy about it.
01:10:50.000 But what I can tell you of what I know about Randy, I've been around that guy for, I saw his first fight in the UFC, and he fought Tony Halma, and then he fought this really promising kid, I forget his name, Kevin something or another, and he beat both of these guys, and I was like,
01:11:05.000 wow, this guy's a stud.
01:11:07.000 This guy is the real fucking deal.
01:11:11.000 He is one of the friendliest people you could ever be around.
01:11:16.000 You would never imagine that Randy Couture would ever get into a street fight.
01:11:21.000 If you're talking to that guy, whether it's in a bar or a Denny's or a bowling alley, he's a smiling, handshaking, comfortable, pat-you-on-the-back gentleman.
01:11:33.000 You would never imagine that anybody would ever find themselves so cunty that they would be in a fistfight with Randy Couture.
01:11:39.000 Did you ever hear that story about Tyson?
01:11:43.000 Mitch Bloodgreen?
01:11:44.000 Yeah.
01:11:45.000 Yeah, they fought in a bar.
01:11:47.000 And didn't he hit him?
01:11:48.000 No, no, no.
01:11:48.000 It wasn't even in a bar.
01:11:49.000 It was in a...
01:11:50.000 What are those fancy words for when the...
01:11:58.000 It was like 2 o'clock in the morning in Harlem.
01:12:01.000 And Mitch Blood Green had been taunting Mike Tyson forever.
01:12:05.000 And Mike broke his hand on Mitch Green's face.
01:12:08.000 But didn't Mitch Green had like 28 surgeries?
01:12:11.000 Well, he broke his orbital, I believe.
01:12:14.000 Yeah, he caved in his face.
01:12:15.000 He broke his hand on his face.
01:12:16.000 Caved in his face with one punch.
01:12:19.000 And you're just sitting there saying, okay, with one punch, he caved in dude's face.
01:12:23.000 He had to have 28 surgeries.
01:12:24.000 And by the way, this guy's a professional fighter.
01:12:28.000 He gets paid to get fucking hit in the face.
01:12:31.000 And you get one punch and it gives you 28 surgeries.
01:12:33.000 He accomplished what he wanted to do.
01:12:34.000 He dragged a guy into the ring that had no business challenging Mike Tyson.
01:12:40.000 He really wasn't at that level.
01:12:42.000 And by his persistence and his arrogance, he really did get that fight.
01:12:46.000 And you saw it.
01:12:47.000 But you saw in that fight why he wanted that fight.
01:12:51.000 And why he wanted that fight is Mitch Blood Green, even though he had no business being in the ring technically with Tyson, he didn't get stopped.
01:12:59.000 Tyson beat the fuck out of that guy.
01:13:00.000 And he couldn't put him away.
01:13:02.000 That was an amazing fight.
01:13:03.000 If you think about it, because Tyson was in his prime.
01:13:06.000 That was the Tyson that was just...
01:13:08.000 Darchin guys.
01:13:10.000 Tyrell Biggs, who's an Olympic gold medalist, was just running for his life, trying to keep the jab on that guy.
01:13:18.000 Jesus Christ!
01:13:20.000 He's just ripping to your body, right to the body in that right uppercut.
01:13:25.000 That shit was legendary!
01:13:26.000 And Mitch Blood Green made it through that.
01:13:28.000 And the reason he made it through that is the same reason why he wanted to fight Tyson in the first place.
01:13:32.000 He was convinced that he was the baddest motherfucker on the planet.
01:13:35.000 But he got his face caved in.
01:13:37.000 Sort of.
01:13:37.000 He did.
01:13:38.000 He got beat up, but he was alright.
01:13:40.000 I mean, it's really amazing when you think about it, because who the fuck was training Mitch Blood Green?
01:13:44.000 I mean, I don't know who his trainers were.
01:13:47.000 I mean, it might have been someone really good, but I had to think about his approach.
01:13:52.000 Part of it was kind of brilliant.
01:13:54.000 He forced Mike Tyson into fighting him.
01:13:58.000 But that Mike Tyson, that was the best Mike Tyson.
01:14:02.000 That era, that Marvis Frazier era.
01:14:04.000 That was our Joe Lewis.
01:14:07.000 That was our Sonny Liston.
01:14:08.000 That was our, whoa, that one guy.
01:14:13.000 That Mitch Blood Green thing, man.
01:14:15.000 That was a long time ago.
01:14:16.000 We're like old men.
01:14:17.000 Just talking about old fights.
01:14:19.000 We're old as fuck.
01:14:21.000 Jack Johnson, I'll tell you what.
01:14:23.000 I'll tell you about a guy who used to be able to hit you and you'd stay down.
01:14:28.000 I hit you with one lick.
01:14:30.000 It was all over.
01:14:31.000 What was that video you told me to look up earlier to see what the name was for Vice?
01:14:37.000 Because I typed in Hyman Vice and that's not the name.
01:14:40.000 Heinmo.
01:14:41.000 Heinmo.
01:14:41.000 It's Heinmo's Arctic Refuge.
01:14:43.000 That's it.
01:14:44.000 H-Y. Heinmo's Arctic Refuge is what it's called.
01:14:48.000 Yeah, that got me sold.
01:14:50.000 And then David chose Search for the Dinosaur.
01:14:56.000 That got me going.
01:14:57.000 Speaking of Heinmo, we went to the The Arctic, this guy lived out in the middle of nowhere, and he lived with his wife out there, literally in the middle of nowhere.
01:15:08.000 He was the most isolated person on earth, until they found, I don't know if you heard about this, this Russian family in Siberia.
01:15:16.000 They were like Russian Orthodox, and during the Communist Revolution, they went up to this mountain that's nearly impossible to get to, and they lived in this little shack.
01:15:26.000 And they lived like...
01:15:27.000 They didn't even have shoes, which I don't understand because I don't know how you get frostbite in Siberia.
01:15:31.000 But they'd wrap their feet in like birch bark and moss and shit.
01:15:35.000 And they were eating seeds.
01:15:37.000 And they lived up there.
01:15:38.000 The guy was like 90 years old and they finally came in and he had his family.
01:15:41.000 They were there and they were like 70 and 60 and shit.
01:15:44.000 And they finally arrived and they had like iPods and everything.
01:15:48.000 And when they got there, they had lived this whole time...
01:15:51.000 You mean the people that showed up had iPods, not the family.
01:15:54.000 No, no, no.
01:15:54.000 The family had not seen...
01:15:56.000 They had been isolated since the 40s, right?
01:15:57.000 I believe the 1930s, yeah.
01:15:59.000 It was the 1930s.
01:16:00.000 They had been isolated up there as a family.
01:16:01.000 They didn't know about World War II, correct?
01:16:02.000 They did not know about World War II, correct.
01:16:05.000 They didn't know about anything.
01:16:07.000 And they had literally, like, sort of learned how to make shit out of bark and everything.
01:16:12.000 You know, complete survivalist shit.
01:16:14.000 How many people were up there?
01:16:15.000 I think there were six of them and then they all died.
01:16:18.000 It was weird because they...
01:16:19.000 So this is an interesting story.
01:16:21.000 They got found and they found out, oh, there's another world out there and whatever.
01:16:27.000 And then one by one they died very quickly after they got found.
01:16:30.000 Whoa!
01:16:31.000 Except for, like, I believe the youngest daughter is now in her late 70s.
01:16:35.000 And she went into the nearest Siberian town and sort of lived there for a while and said, you know what, screw this.
01:16:40.000 And she went back.
01:16:40.000 She's like a 77-year-old woman.
01:16:42.000 Back by herself.
01:16:43.000 She went back by herself and she's still there.
01:16:45.000 So we wanted to go up there and do like the Haimo, the most isolated person in the world, which was Haimo.
01:16:50.000 It's a woman.
01:16:51.000 It's a woman and she's in her 70s and she's going back up this mountain where you can't like...
01:16:56.000 Do you hear that, pussies?
01:16:58.000 Okay, all you fucking weak bitches complaining.
01:17:01.000 I gotta get up at 7 to be at the office by 9. Are you fucking kidding me?
01:17:07.000 There's a hundred Carl's Juniors on the way to work.
01:17:10.000 You're complaining there's a 70-year-old crazy bitch on a donkey and it's 80,000 degrees below zero.
01:17:16.000 And she's by herself in Russia.
01:17:18.000 And like 600 miles away from the next nearest person.
01:17:20.000 And she prefers it.
01:17:21.000 She prefers it up there.
01:17:22.000 She went back.
01:17:23.000 She went back.
01:17:23.000 Jesus fucking Christ!
01:17:25.000 What's wrong with that crazy bitch?
01:17:27.000 I bet she has a pussy like a softball mitt.
01:17:30.000 And I bet...
01:17:32.000 I don't even know what that means.
01:17:33.000 Just a fucking...
01:17:36.000 Thickly padded wall and a lot of pressure.
01:17:39.000 She could catch a ball with that thing.
01:17:41.000 Can you imagine the weird shit that happened amongst those five, six people?
01:17:45.000 Sexually?
01:17:46.000 No, but for 70 fucking years.
01:17:50.000 Oh, Jesus.
01:17:52.000 Alone.
01:17:52.000 On a fucking mountain.
01:17:54.000 Continuous orgy.
01:17:55.000 At the end, they probably checked them for sperm.
01:17:57.000 There was nothing left.
01:17:58.000 It might be awesome.
01:17:59.000 No, you're fucking your kids and your sister.
01:18:02.000 So, it feels the same.
01:18:03.000 Shut up!
01:18:05.000 That's fucking communism!
01:18:08.000 Yeah, I don't think it would be good, okay?
01:18:10.000 I don't think it would be good to have no TV. I think that shit's nonsense.
01:18:13.000 Why not be a woodchuck out there eating beavers and fucking your kids?
01:18:18.000 I don't think that's the way to go.
01:18:19.000 They were eating like bark and shit, you know?
01:18:22.000 Oh, that sucks.
01:18:23.000 Bark off your son's dick?
01:18:25.000 When was the last time you had a Diet Coke?
01:18:26.000 What?
01:18:27.000 Look, that guy is living in shit.
01:18:29.000 He's in 2013, but he lives like he's in this.
01:18:32.000 These are the questions that come to me when you're like, okay, these people are eating bark and putting moss on their feet for shoes.
01:18:38.000 And I'm sitting there going, boy, they're just bringing us more and more booze.
01:18:42.000 You're thinking, do you want to survive the zombie apocalypse?
01:18:45.000 No, but what I was going to say to you is, and this is a serious question, right?
01:18:49.000 Oh, no.
01:18:50.000 No, not that serious.
01:18:52.000 But when you look at shit like that, you say, okay, these people are up there eating bark.
01:18:57.000 And there's a lot of shit happening.
01:18:58.000 We were talking a little bit earlier.
01:19:01.000 How much of your life revolves around the pleasure that food, booze...
01:19:13.000 Oh, yeah.
01:19:14.000 We were talking about this before the podcast even started, about making the choice between booze and food.
01:19:22.000 Like, if you could eat whatever the fuck you wanted and be healthy and live till you're fucking 90 and all that shit, but you couldn't drink.
01:19:29.000 Or you could drink, but you can't eat shit.
01:19:31.000 You gotta eat cardboard and fucking grape leaves.
01:19:34.000 Oh, okay.
01:19:35.000 Well, I'm done.
01:19:36.000 I don't know where grape leaves came.
01:19:37.000 Cardboard and fucking grass.
01:19:39.000 I truly believe that living without good food and living without, I mean, if you've got to survive, you know, if you're living in The Walking Dead and you've got to shoot deer and shit, that's all well and good.
01:19:52.000 But we're talking about in this day and age.
01:19:54.000 I'm talking you have a choice.
01:19:56.000 If you have to make a choice between I can eat my favorite shit or I can drink booze and have the added sort of crank that gives everything you like.
01:20:06.000 Well, what I was going to say was that the idea of subsistence living is although frightening, that food is delicious.
01:20:14.000 Eating deer over a campfire, that's a really yummy tasting food.
01:20:17.000 If you're saying like shitty food, like cardboard tasting, bland food...
01:20:23.000 That's a big part of the enjoyment of the day.
01:20:27.000 In my opinion, a meal with my family, I think, is one of my favorite things in life.
01:20:32.000 And that sounds like utter horseshit to single people.
01:20:36.000 But the real idea is sitting down with your kids and having a laugh and having a meal.
01:20:41.000 I think that whole process is very important.
01:20:46.000 And nutrition is very important, but for me, the taste is very important as well.
01:20:52.000 I think it's important to eat things that are delicious.
01:20:55.000 It's a part of a pleasurable aspect of life.
01:20:59.000 And so if I had to choose, honestly, between...
01:21:04.000 Drinking booze and eating delicious food.
01:21:07.000 I would go with delicious food.
01:21:09.000 I think delicious food is more important because I've experienced the booze.
01:21:13.000 And I understand the lessons.
01:21:15.000 The lessons of the dropping of the inhibition and the good aspects of alcohol, which are often overlooked by people who just can't handle alcohol.
01:21:25.000 We were talking before the podcast started about not...
01:21:29.000 There's a certain level of trust that you have where someone's willing to get drunk with you.
01:21:34.000 Like, you know that guy's demons.
01:21:37.000 They're all right there.
01:21:39.000 It comes out.
01:21:40.000 Five or six Jack and Cokes, you know, telling a story about Tijuana, and you're like, holy shit!
01:21:47.000 How did you...
01:21:48.000 Whoa!
01:21:49.000 What did you tell your mom?
01:21:51.000 You know what I mean?
01:21:52.000 It's like you get to know a person.
01:21:54.000 And you realize that there's no benefit in hiding all that shit from people you love anyway.
01:22:00.000 There's a benefit in telling them.
01:22:02.000 And the sort of camaraderie that ensues from those drunken conversations of complete and total honesty where the alcohol does a purpose.
01:22:12.000 Instead of inhibiting you and making you make shitty decisions, the alcohol...
01:22:16.000 Right.
01:22:27.000 Right.
01:22:35.000 You just have more of a sense of friendliness the next day.
01:22:40.000 Oftentimes, it's little encounters that steer us.
01:22:44.000 I remember this Anthony Robbins quote, who, believe it or not, I've listened to a lot of his We're good to go.
01:23:11.000 Of the boat's motion through life.
01:23:13.000 Just that one decision can lead it so far away from the original path that it was on.
01:23:19.000 And that, often times, it's a good time that leads you.
01:23:25.000 And it might cost you a day or two of being hungover.
01:23:28.000 But there might be that phone call where you call each other on a Wednesday like, I had a fucking great time, dude.
01:23:34.000 That was fun.
01:23:34.000 But it doesn't even have to be.
01:23:35.000 I'm not even talking about a crazy fucking boozy fucking crazy time.
01:23:40.000 The reason why I ask the question is because whenever I meet people I like and I respect, I like to ask them questions because I believe that's how you learn.
01:23:49.000 And so I have this problem.
01:23:53.000 Because I'll tell you what.
01:23:54.000 I grew up poor.
01:23:55.000 I grew up poor.
01:23:56.000 I left home at a very young age.
01:23:58.000 And a lot of what I learned, I learned initially through books.
01:24:01.000 So I'd read books.
01:24:03.000 And that's why I have this sort of intense curiosity about the world.
01:24:07.000 Because I'm like, oh fuck, I'd like to go there and see that for myself.
01:24:10.000 So anyway, speaking of Chernobyl.
01:24:12.000 So I go to the Ukraine.
01:24:16.000 I'm just a regular fucking dude from buttfuck nowhere.
01:24:18.000 And I go there and I have this dinner and they bring out these potato pancakes with sour cream and caviar and vodka and all this shit.
01:24:28.000 I think it was the first time I had caviar and I'm eating it and I'm like, this is fucking awesome.
01:24:32.000 You love caviar right off the bat?
01:24:34.000 Yeah, first time I ever had it.
01:24:35.000 Now, granted, I was a few vodkas in, but I'm drinking the vodka and eating the caviar, and it's Russia, and it's crazy.
01:24:41.000 We're out in the middle of fucking nowhere.
01:24:42.000 It's not Russia, it's Ukraine.
01:24:43.000 We're out in the middle of fucking nowhere, and it's some crazy Cossack shit that's going down, and I'm like, fuck, this is like living in a book, and it's crazy.
01:24:52.000 I literally had one of the best nights of my life.
01:24:54.000 It was like living in a book from the 1800s.
01:24:57.000 So I had one of the best times of my life.
01:24:59.000 Then, you know, so for the longest time I'm like, I fucking, caviar is my favorite fucking food and this is the greatest thing in the world.
01:25:05.000 Then I was shooting in Iran.
01:25:06.000 So I'm going to Iran where the best caviar comes from now.
01:25:09.000 And in my hotel room, sorry, in my hotel in Iran, the only hotel foreigners can stay in, they sell caviar in the lobby.
01:25:18.000 So I'm sitting there in the lobby and I go, fuck Yeah, I love caviar.
01:25:21.000 That's my favorite shit now, man.
01:25:23.000 So I go and I buy the caviar, right, in the store.
01:25:26.000 It's like the best, I don't know, I bought like $10,000 worth of caviar for $100 or some shit.
01:25:30.000 So I get it, and I go upstairs, but they don't have no booze, right, because it's Iran.
01:25:34.000 So I have like orange Fanta and some chips in this caviar, and I'm like, this is just fucking salty, fucking fish egg.
01:25:41.000 Tastes like shit?
01:25:42.000 What the fuck is this?
01:25:43.000 Does it only taste good when you're drunk?
01:25:45.000 Well, I think this is the whole question that I have.
01:25:48.000 Is that like when you have a big fucking fat old steak with a good glass of red wine, how much of it is the fucking red wine and how much of it is the steak?
01:25:56.000 When you have your linguine and clams with a nice fucking crisp fucking white wine, how much of it is...
01:26:01.000 I don't drink white wine.
01:26:02.000 How much is the fucking, is the talk and the thing around?
01:26:07.000 Like you said, meal with your family.
01:26:09.000 How much of that is with the family and with the thing?
01:26:11.000 And then, so when I was sitting up there in this fucking shitty fucking hotel room in Iran eating this shit...
01:26:18.000 You know, caviar with Fanta.
01:26:20.000 I'm like, actually, I probably just enjoyed the fucking evening.
01:26:24.000 Right.
01:26:24.000 You know, I enjoyed the people and the craziness and the fucking vodka and the caviar and the fact that I hadn't had it before and everything went fucking apeshit and all that stuff.
01:26:33.000 Not apeshit.
01:26:33.000 I shouldn't say apeshit.
01:26:34.000 It was a very fucking transformative evening.
01:26:37.000 Right.
01:26:38.000 And then when I just had the straight-up caviar, you're like, man, I don't care about this shit.
01:26:42.000 That's so funny.
01:26:43.000 What a contrast.
01:26:44.000 Yeah, and so when I was asking you the question, because we were talking about food, and you were saying, like, you know, if you have a bad back, you shouldn't eat the pasta.
01:26:50.000 I'm like, you know what?
01:26:50.000 Fuck, I love fucking pasta.
01:26:52.000 No, what I was saying is that this chiropractor that I was talking to over the weekend, she was explaining to me the influence of certain wheats and glutens.
01:27:03.000 Yeah.
01:27:03.000 And how it inflames tissue and that you can get a substantial anti-inflammatory response by just cutting weed out of your diet.
01:27:10.000 I agree with you that there's a pleasure to eating that I think is super important.
01:27:14.000 There's a pleasure to eating and a pleasure to drinking.
01:27:16.000 Could I smoke weed and not drink?
01:27:19.000 Because I would take that.
01:27:20.000 That's the problem.
01:27:21.000 No, you're not allowed.
01:27:22.000 For me, weed is like, that's the one that really made a big difference.
01:27:26.000 I think alcohol has played a good part in a lot of positive aspects of my life as far as joyful evenings and having fun with friends and telling them that you love them and hugging them and even whatever romantic altercations.
01:27:42.000 Not with the boys, though.
01:27:44.000 No, girls, bro!
01:27:45.000 Cut the shit, Brian!
01:27:47.000 But as far as what transformed me as a human being, though, marijuana is more important.
01:27:54.000 Marijuana was, to me, almost like a missing piece to my conceptual puzzle of how I interfaced with nature and with the world.
01:28:05.000 I was like, why am I so goddamn agro?
01:28:08.000 And then all of a sudden, I find weed, and I was like, boom.
01:28:12.000 I know a lot.
01:28:13.000 For me actually, booze was my savior because I was hanging out with a lot of dudes who were doing some serious bad drugs.
01:28:21.000 And my whole thing was, I don't want to be 60 years old So I always have this, my idyllic sort of retirement, which I'm trying to get to sooner rather than later now, is just like this sort of forgotten little cove.
01:28:35.000 Can I be your neighbor?
01:28:36.000 Yeah.
01:28:37.000 Can we chip in for Wi-Fi and solar?
01:28:39.000 I'm sitting there at the school.
01:28:40.000 I'm going to send you this article of this dude.
01:28:44.000 How old are your kids?
01:28:45.000 Three and one and a half.
01:28:47.000 Dude, I got a four and a fucking two.
01:28:49.000 Let's have a party.
01:28:51.000 Date night.
01:28:52.000 How old are you?
01:28:53.000 Are you boys or girls?
01:28:54.000 Girls.
01:28:54.000 Okay, we got a big lesbian super slumber party.
01:28:58.000 I'm going to send you this article.
01:28:59.000 It's a fantastic article about a dude.
01:29:02.000 Who was diagnosed with lymphonic cancer, like the worst cancer you can ever...
01:29:08.000 And he was a Greek dude.
01:29:10.000 He grew up in America, but like, you know, came here when he was three or some shit.
01:29:13.000 So he goes back to Greece to this little island in the middle of nowhere, and he has to walk up this hill every day.
01:29:19.000 He goes to talk to his buddies, drinking the wine, he's eating the food from wherever.
01:29:23.000 And all of a sudden, like five years...
01:29:25.000 He was given like six months to live or whatever.
01:29:27.000 Not even six weeks to live.
01:29:29.000 And they said, you know, what the fuck happened?
01:29:32.000 You didn't die.
01:29:32.000 And he goes, you know, I came here and I forgot to die.
01:29:35.000 Because...
01:29:36.000 You know, he's sitting there and there's no stress and he's walking up the hill every day and he's drinking wine with his buddies and he's eating the fish from the bay and the fucking whatever.
01:29:47.000 And I sit there and I say, you know, now I'm looking at this shit.
01:29:51.000 So my idyllic retirement is basically I'm stealing this guy who killed cancer by living this euphoric life of I live on this little cove and I'm drinking my wine and I'm sitting out there and I'm just blissing out on reality.
01:30:02.000 Now, that's why I didn't get hooked to heroin.
01:30:05.000 That's why I didn't get hooked to fucking crack.
01:30:07.000 That's why I didn't get hooked to all the shit that my boys got hooked to because I always thought to myself, if I fucking get hooked to this shit, I'm going to have to A, die, or B, fucking quit it.
01:30:15.000 And if I quit it, guess what?
01:30:16.000 I'm never going to be able to sit on that fucking cove with my glass of fucking wine sitting out there and being this blissful old Buddha dude, right?
01:30:23.000 So for me, that was booze.
01:30:25.000 But I will say this.
01:30:26.000 We were just in Jamaica filming the Snoop stuff over New Year's and Snoop Lion and we were in this place.
01:30:32.000 Snoop Lion, I love how you went with that.
01:30:35.000 He's the best.
01:30:36.000 I like how you went with that.
01:30:37.000 He's the greatest guy.
01:30:38.000 One of the greatest guys on the road, right?
01:30:39.000 Ever.
01:30:40.000 He's one of the best guys.
01:30:41.000 And by the way, now more than ever.
01:30:43.000 Because that shit's been through shit.
01:30:45.000 That guy's been through shit we don't even fucking understand.
01:30:47.000 Oh yeah.
01:30:48.000 But anyways, you know, so we were filming down there, and I was in Jamaica, and, you know, generally I don't smoke a lot of weed.
01:30:56.000 I was smoking every day.
01:30:57.000 I was drinking rum every day, smoking every day.
01:30:59.000 I gotta tell you, I felt like God was touching me in my head.
01:31:04.000 I was like, I felt fucking spiritually fucking...
01:31:08.000 You know what you've got to start doing?
01:31:09.000 Eating it.
01:31:10.000 When you eat it, that's when you really get into that sort of psychedelic love state.
01:31:17.000 It's very feminine.
01:31:18.000 It's a very feminine, sensitive state.
01:31:20.000 And a lot of people are afraid of that.
01:31:22.000 They're afraid that it's going to make you a pussy.
01:31:25.000 I'm not afraid of shit.
01:31:26.000 You're not afraid of shit.
01:31:27.000 No, no, no.
01:31:28.000 You're not afraid of shit.
01:31:29.000 I'm not afraid.
01:31:31.000 We're afraid of singles and fucking aliens.
01:31:33.000 I'm afraid of a lot of shit.
01:31:34.000 You know, people always give me, oh, are you afraid of fucking mountain lions?
01:31:38.000 And yeah, one ate my dog.
01:31:40.000 Yeah, you know, are you afraid of meteors?
01:31:42.000 Yeah, I watched some TV show.
01:31:43.000 But they come from the sky like goddamn torpedoes.
01:31:46.000 Yeah, I'm fucking scared of all that shit.
01:31:48.000 You're scared to die, Joe, that's why.
01:31:50.000 Not scared to die.
01:31:51.000 I'm scared to get fucked up and suffer.
01:31:53.000 Listen, you're a happy guy, you have a good life, and you don't want to die.
01:31:56.000 My whole thing when I was a kid...
01:31:58.000 Well, when I was a kid, I thought I was going to die, so I didn't give a fuck.
01:32:02.000 I'd do anything because I'm going to die.
01:32:03.000 Who the fuck cares?
01:32:04.000 Why did you think you were going to die?
01:32:05.000 Because I was going to die.
01:32:07.000 I mean, you know, everybody I grew up with, you know, when I was a kid died because we were bad guys doing bad shit.
01:32:13.000 People die and all this stuff.
01:32:15.000 How bad were you guys?
01:32:16.000 Like, what did you do?
01:32:16.000 What's the worst thing?
01:32:17.000 Anybody who did?
01:32:18.000 I mean, everybody who does, like, blow farts on people?
01:32:23.000 No, Brian...
01:32:24.000 So it's like, you know, look, you do some gang-y shit, you do...
01:32:28.000 Oh, gang-y shit.
01:32:29.000 But you're doing Canadian gang-y shit.
01:32:30.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:32:31.000 How bad can you...
01:32:32.000 That's like going farts on people.
01:32:33.000 How bad can you be?
01:32:34.000 But no, you know, look, people get into junk.
01:32:37.000 It doesn't matter if it's...
01:32:38.000 By the way, this is a surprising thing.
01:32:40.000 Well, they get into everything, but, you know, generally the end result is...
01:32:44.000 Well, now it could be meth, but heroin...
01:32:46.000 And the thing is, even in shitty sort of nice Canada, people end up on jonk or they start doing more and more serious crimes.
01:32:55.000 And this is one of the reasons why my cove was my dream was because, you know, you have guys who are dying of heroin overdoses or guys who are going to prison for life or worse, getting killed.
01:33:07.000 And, you know, these are 17, 18, 19-year-old kids and you're sitting there saying...
01:33:11.000 That's the biggest tragedy is you never fucking live.
01:33:13.000 You're a teenager, you think you've fucking lived your life.
01:33:15.000 You haven't lived shit, you haven't done shit, you haven't seen shit.
01:33:17.000 And one of the reasons why I say I'm going to go out and I'm going to see shit and I'm going to do all this shit, whatever, is because I didn't fucking die.
01:33:24.000 But at a certain point you sit there and you say, look, you know and I know how hard life is.
01:33:31.000 We know fucking what good things are.
01:33:34.000 Or can be, right?
01:33:35.000 And can be.
01:33:36.000 And also, we realize there's a lot of people who didn't make it.
01:33:40.000 There's a lot of people who just, for one reason or another, they don't get to where you are.
01:33:44.000 And so that's why now, anyways, one of the reasons why I like coming here and having these discussions with you is, you can actually say, look, I've come to these fucking realizations...
01:33:56.000 And look, we're two guys who are saying, you know, we don't need to fucking fight.
01:34:01.000 We probably had fucking 100 fights between us.
01:34:05.000 I've had no street fights.
01:34:07.000 The last street fight I had, I was in high school.
01:34:10.000 It was a really quick alternation.
01:34:12.000 You're a smarter man than me.
01:34:14.000 I've avoided everything.
01:34:16.000 But I've had actual fights.
01:34:18.000 I've had like three kickboxing bouts.
01:34:22.000 I don't know how many Taekwondo fights, but there was a lot of them.
01:34:25.000 What I'm trying to get at is, when you see fights in Iraq, those fights are different fights.
01:34:37.000 Those fights are like they shoot you in the head fights.
01:34:40.000 So what I'm trying to say is, you know, you want to get to more of an understanding, and this is when I go back to, like, I don't give a fuck what people think about me, I don't give a fuck about other shit, because when you see it, you sit there and say, on this hand, this motherfucker got shot, or this guy got into heroin,
01:34:56.000 or this guy got into this.
01:34:57.000 Now, to go back to this, this is very long-winded, but if you go back to it, what do I want to do?
01:35:04.000 I want to sit in the cove with my family, your family, hanging out, have a drink, enjoy myself.
01:35:12.000 I don't know how much food, although I'm a fat bastard, I don't know how much food is going to play into that, but I definitely want to be sitting there with that glass of wine, looking out at that cove and just going, I fucking made it.
01:35:24.000 And that's why I don't judge anybody, because I'll tell you what, everyone's trying to get through the day to get to their goddamn cove.
01:35:31.000 You're 100% right.
01:35:33.000 Yeah, right?
01:35:34.000 100% right.
01:35:35.000 I agree with you so much, but we live in a beautiful world where you don't have to choose between the food and the booze.
01:35:40.000 Ha!
01:35:41.000 And I'll tell you what.
01:35:43.000 I'll tell you what.
01:35:44.000 What happened?
01:35:45.000 We do live, I gotta tell you, you know, we live in a fucking country where you can still, to this day, make your own shit happen.
01:35:53.000 Yes.
01:35:53.000 Which most, and look, I'm an immigrant, but I made my shit happen in this country, and I gotta say it's the best country in the world.
01:36:01.000 And there's a lot of countries out there we don't realize how fucked up they are and how bad shit is there.
01:36:08.000 And we should fucking say, you know what?
01:36:11.000 You can do anything here in America, so you should.
01:36:14.000 You know, when you say that, it has so much more weight than the average person, including me saying it.
01:36:20.000 First of all, because you've been everywhere.
01:36:21.000 And second of all, because you came from another place.
01:36:24.000 You grew up in Canada.
01:36:25.000 So when you come over and you see this situation, there's no question this is not perfect.
01:36:31.000 And I think we all agree on it.
01:36:33.000 But it's fucking fantastic.
01:36:34.000 It's better.
01:36:35.000 It's better than it's ever been.
01:36:38.000 What we're doing right now is we're figuring life out.
01:36:42.000 And we still have a lot of old standards and old traditions and old things that we abide by that don't make any sense and they trip us up.
01:36:51.000 We step on our own dicks.
01:36:52.000 But I think ultimately...
01:36:54.000 We're moving forward in a direction of progress.
01:36:57.000 As much as people like to be cynical about the possibilities of the future, I think just where we are today in this country, despite the eroding civil liberties, all that, that's all good on paper, but the reality of the progression of information through the internet is we're taking the world to a different place right now.
01:37:15.000 It's not cynical to criticize.
01:37:17.000 It's not.
01:37:17.000 You're right.
01:37:17.000 And you know what?
01:37:19.000 America and democracy was based on honesty and being critical and being allowed to be critical because you couldn't say, fuck the aristocrats, fuck the king and all that shit.
01:37:28.000 They cut your head off.
01:37:29.000 So democracy is based on people like us sitting there going, you know what?
01:37:34.000 The political system isn't right.
01:37:35.000 And guess what?
01:37:36.000 The political system will not change unless motherfuckers like us and everybody listening to this fucking podcast Do something about it.
01:37:43.000 And that's what America is.
01:37:45.000 You're right, 100%.
01:37:46.000 But more importantly, the people who are in the positions of power, it must be reinforced that we are all living in this temporary state.
01:37:56.000 And to make the most of your temporary state...
01:38:00.000 You can enjoy the bounty of your work and the fruits of your labor and the overwhelming affluence that you get from having successfully figured out capitalism.
01:38:13.000 But it's possible to do that in a way where you don't fuck people over and you promote freedom and love.
01:38:21.000 In fact, you have to.
01:38:24.000 And if you did, you would be more happy and more successful.
01:38:28.000 In fact, you have to.
01:38:29.000 You know, I'm going to tell just one quick story, but I was hanging out with a guy who inspired the shit out of me.
01:38:35.000 And he was the president of the Maldives.
01:38:39.000 It was a 35-year dictatorship there.
01:38:42.000 He got elected against all odds and he did all this shit like underwater cabinet meetings and stuff to bring awareness to global warming because his country is sinking.
01:38:53.000 And so he was going to buy land in Australia or Sri Lanka or India because he's not going to have a country anymore.
01:38:59.000 And then they ousted him, and he has this flotilla going around the Maldives, which is actually like the size of Europe, but like islands.
01:39:06.000 So he's on these fishing boats, and I went on these fishing boats with this guy.
01:39:11.000 He's called the Mandela of the Maldives, because he's been in jail most of his life.
01:39:16.000 I was hanging out with this dude, and one of the interesting things that this guy was doing is he was just saying, look, you have to take individual control.
01:39:27.000 You have to say, look, unless we do it, unless we as a community fucking say no to this shit, it's going to continue.
01:39:37.000 Because people don't want it to fucking change.
01:39:39.000 Right.
01:39:39.000 They just don't want it to change.
01:39:41.000 Even in America, they don't want it to change.
01:39:43.000 But the thing is...
01:39:44.000 Do you think that people don't want it to change or they don't want to upset their reality?
01:39:48.000 I'll tell you.
01:39:48.000 So this is my second point is, you know, for the people, of the people, by the people.
01:39:52.000 And you sit there and say, the people...
01:39:54.000 This is the country, the first country, that was set up not for the aristocracy but for the people.
01:40:00.000 And the thing is, I think that was forgotten because if you actually look at the people and what the people want and what the people can do, people want a good life, but they're willing to say, you know what, fuck, I don't want to fucking have, you know, all this garbage or whatever the fucking radiation is.
01:40:17.000 I don't want to have this, you know, threat of nuclear war and all these things.
01:40:24.000 If you look at, actually, if you talk to regular people, people are sane, people are good.
01:40:29.000 Actually, when you were talking about it, people actually, if you hang out with your neighbors, people are inherently good.
01:40:34.000 People are inherently fucking nice.
01:40:36.000 Yet, all this fucking bad shit happens, right?
01:40:40.000 And you're saying, why does that bad shit happen?
01:40:42.000 Because people let it happen.
01:40:44.000 Is it because people let it happen?
01:40:46.000 Not necessarily, because someone has to be initiating it.
01:40:50.000 I mean, someone has to be willing to take it to a hard place.
01:40:52.000 I lost the train of my thought because you guys are doing some weird shit.
01:40:55.000 I was wondering what you were doing.
01:40:57.000 I don't know what you were doing over there.
01:40:58.000 Listen, there was a roach that I left on the table.
01:41:00.000 I was trying to figure out where it was put.
01:41:01.000 I was getting into some deep shit that I found.
01:41:04.000 No, no, no.
01:41:05.000 I'm sorry.
01:41:05.000 I really apologize.
01:41:07.000 I'm sorry.
01:41:07.000 I didn't mean to distract you.
01:41:09.000 I thought you could keep your train of thought.
01:41:11.000 I couldn't.
01:41:12.000 I'm a visual.
01:41:13.000 I'm a visual guy.
01:41:15.000 This place totally has roaches.
01:41:16.000 It's an old building.
01:41:18.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:41:18.000 There's bugs here.
01:41:19.000 I think it's a moth ate my sweater.
01:41:22.000 I'm sorry.
01:41:23.000 I'm sorry.
01:41:24.000 So what was your point?
01:41:28.000 Just scared of roaches.
01:41:34.000 What I will say is that I think...
01:41:38.000 This fucking place is haunted.
01:41:39.000 I think because of where we are with the transference of information like we're doing with Vice or like you're doing with your podcast...
01:41:48.000 We're not doing shit.
01:41:49.000 You are.
01:41:50.000 I just want to tell you that right now.
01:41:51.000 You are.
01:41:51.000 If the government is willing to arrest people...
01:41:54.000 But that information gets out.
01:41:56.000 I gotta say, information does get out.
01:41:59.000 WikiLeaks, this, that, the other thing.
01:42:01.000 Information gets out now.
01:42:02.000 And by the way, that's what's keeping governments in check because mainstream media is not keeping fucking governments in check, which is their fucking job and they're not doing it.
01:42:11.000 It's really interesting you just brought that up because I was reading on Vice about the Bradley Manning testimony that you guys have released.
01:42:19.000 What's going on with that?
01:42:20.000 What is that?
01:42:21.000 Explain that.
01:42:22.000 Well, I think, look, the thing that we're looking at is how much of media is actually...
01:42:30.000 So we actually did this story on Iraq recently that is the thermobaric weapons that were destroying...
01:42:38.000 So if you have to do house...
01:42:40.000 I'm doing it again.
01:42:42.000 It's like a pantomime over here.
01:42:44.000 This motherfucker touched my head with a ghost.
01:42:45.000 It's a pantomime.
01:42:47.000 Brian snuck out behind me.
01:42:49.000 He's very childish.
01:42:51.000 If you look at what happened in Iraq, they had these thermobaric weapons.
01:42:56.000 What's a thermobaric weapon?
01:42:57.000 If you have to do house-to-house fighting, which traditionally is the worst fighting you can do, right?
01:43:03.000 Very difficult.
01:43:04.000 They have this weapon where they can, it's called a SMA-ME, and what happens is they shoot it into a building.
01:43:11.000 And it does a heat blast which sort of takes all the oxygen out so it kills you right away.
01:43:17.000 And then it has this massive heat blast and then it implodes the house.
01:43:21.000 The problem is it's suspected that this is a thermobaric weapon that's made from depleted uranium so what happens is all that dust that goes out there becomes radioactive or chemically laden.
01:43:34.000 And that possibly is responsible for the first Gulf War Syndrome that no one really sort of figured out exactly...
01:43:40.000 Correct.
01:43:41.000 And this huge increase in rare cancers and...
01:43:47.000 Amongst veterans.
01:43:49.000 Well, amongst veterans and also...
01:43:51.000 And locals, yeah, the people who are living there.
01:43:54.000 And so, you know, you have these sort of incredibly bad...
01:43:59.000 I don't even know what the fuck's going on.
01:44:01.000 I'm just telling him no more weed.
01:44:03.000 I'm saying get away from me with the devil weed.
01:44:06.000 The devil's cabbage.
01:44:08.000 Sorry.
01:44:10.000 Keep going.
01:44:12.000 I've forgotten where I was.
01:44:13.000 Do you remember what he was talking about?
01:44:16.000 This is really devolving.
01:44:18.000 No, no, no.
01:44:19.000 We don't normally drink on a podcast.
01:44:22.000 Oh, sorry.
01:44:23.000 I'm having a great time.
01:44:25.000 I don't know what I'm talking about anymore, but I'm having a great time.
01:44:28.000 It doesn't matter.
01:44:29.000 At the end of the day, here's what matters.
01:44:33.000 Here's what you are saying.
01:44:34.000 What you are saying is that you are seeing the best and the worst aspects of humanity.
01:44:40.000 And you truly are seeing this.
01:44:42.000 Oh, that's what I was going to say.
01:44:44.000 Is that these thermobaric weapons have done these things in Iraq, and you know what I'll tell you what?
01:44:51.000 No one would have ever reported on that before.
01:44:54.000 Why?
01:44:55.000 Because you couldn't.
01:44:58.000 There weren't the actual tools to do that.
01:45:01.000 And for example, us just having this discussion today and what we're talking about, Like, it didn't exist before.
01:45:09.000 Yes.
01:45:09.000 Because if you were, you know, the Washington Post, even though they, you know, Deep Throat and Nixon and all this business, you know, because of your proximity to the Pentagon, you can't lose your fucking seat at the fucking White House table.
01:45:22.000 They'll tell you whatever.
01:45:23.000 Now we can sit here and say, okay, those thermobaric weapons...
01:45:26.000 By the way, the story was broken by a Marine.
01:45:30.000 Ross Caputi, who's a Marine who fought in Fallujah, who saw the thermobaric weapons, The Marine broke the story and said, by the way, this is what the fuck was going on.
01:45:40.000 And I'm breaking this story because I saw what happened in Fallujah.
01:45:44.000 This is a fucking Marine who's saying this.
01:45:46.000 And you sit there and you say, because of the fucking movement of information, and by the way, we're on the cusp of this, me and you, as we sit here and have a few drinks, this is why, this is why you have to be honest.
01:45:58.000 So to go back to the story, now I've realized it, if you look at WikiLeaks and you say, okay, Is WikiLeaks good or bad?
01:46:05.000 I believe that the freedom of information is imperative to democracy.
01:46:10.000 Unless you have transparency, unless you have accountancy, unless you have people who...
01:46:17.000 Accountability.
01:46:17.000 Accountability, not accountancy.
01:46:20.000 Accountability.
01:46:21.000 Unless you have people who are going to be held accountable for what the fuck they do, then it's not democracy.
01:46:27.000 Then there's no difference between us.
01:46:30.000 Here's what I think about Bradley, man.
01:46:32.000 Go.
01:46:32.000 This is the number one most important thing.
01:46:34.000 There's no way they should have put that guy in solitary confinement...
01:46:38.000 There's no way they should have isolated that guy from the rest of the world.
01:46:41.000 There's no way they should have made that guy feel like he was going insane because he longed for the human touch and he knew that he was being punished for releasing information.
01:46:53.000 That's inhuman and that's unnecessary with A government that doesn't have anything to prove.
01:47:00.000 If a government is being honest and is not hiding anything, it doesn't need to take a guy like Bradley Manning and put him in some horrifying state of detention where he has no rights.
01:47:13.000 There's no need for any just and loving government to treat any of its citizens like that.
01:47:20.000 But let's be honest.
01:47:21.000 Our government is not I understand that, but that to their own self, there's no benefit in behaving the way they're behaving.
01:47:31.000 And that's what needs to be reinforced, is that I think they have this idea, or I don't say they as in like some conspiratorial overlord.
01:47:41.000 We're all in it together.
01:47:42.000 What I think some people who are scared of losing their position of dominance, what they're afraid of is they're afraid that people are going to understand what's going on and they're going to take over and they're going to lock them up and they're going to isolate them from...
01:48:00.000 I've actually, you know, I said something in this podcast one time when I said, if you ever go to a war zone, I can't remember exactly, but I said, you cry, and then you puke, and then you freak the fuck out.
01:48:09.000 And I had so many people respond to that, and they were, by and large, I would say about 98% ex-military.
01:48:18.000 Because if you talk to the people who go to these things, they're like, oh fuck, I didn't know what the fuck I was getting into when I signed up for this fucking shit.
01:48:25.000 I did not have a fucking clue.
01:48:28.000 And you look at that and you say, okay, before we go to war, before a government sends people to war, before Dick Cheney sends people to war, saying that Al-Qaeda is being sponsored by Iraq, or Iraq is having weapons of mass destruction and all that, All of which is completely made up.
01:48:44.000 And by the way, made up by the government that the mainstream media then said, and by the way, everybody who had half a brain knew that fucking the secular state of the Ba'ath party was totally against Al-Qaeda.
01:48:57.000 There's no way Al-Qaeda was doing anything, but 9-11 was the fucking, you know, the sort of carte blanche to go in.
01:49:04.000 Guess what?
01:49:05.000 These motherfuckers lost their lives, they lost their limbs, they're fucking, you know, pissing out of fucking catheter bags now.
01:49:11.000 When I first saw a battlefield, I fucking cried my eyes out.
01:49:16.000 What was the first battlefield you saw?
01:49:19.000 The first real one was Afghanistan.
01:49:22.000 What did you say?
01:49:23.000 Wait, never mind.
01:49:27.000 Afghanistan.
01:49:28.000 Where were you?
01:49:30.000 In Kunar province on the Pakistani border.
01:49:35.000 And when you see it, you just go, okay, this is the worst shit I've ever fucking seen in my whole life.
01:49:40.000 What did you say?
01:49:43.000 If you want to get into it, there's guts coming out of cavities.
01:49:50.000 There's hands.
01:49:52.000 There's severed heads.
01:49:55.000 The bodies are not human beings anymore.
01:49:59.000 It's like cow parts or some shit.
01:50:02.000 There's blood running into rivers.
01:50:05.000 But the dead people aren't so bad.
01:50:08.000 It's the wounded.
01:50:10.000 Because these fuckers aren't going to walk again.
01:50:13.000 They're going to be shitting out of a bag.
01:50:15.000 They're young kids.
01:50:17.000 And this is the other thing I say.
01:50:19.000 We're sitting here debating, well, my cove with my red wine, or would you have a steak, or would you have a glass of booze?
01:50:26.000 These fucking kids, they're never going to be normal again.
01:50:29.000 And you sit there, and by the way, I'm not saying you can't police the world, and I'm not saying that there aren't bad people out there that have to be bucked out.
01:50:39.000 But I am saying, if you do that, you better fucking be cognizant of the fact that when you're sending our best and our brightest and our fucking nicest fucking kids out there, that they're going to be coming home with no legs and no arms and shit out of their fucking bag.
01:50:55.000 Unless we realize that, then we should never go to fucking war.
01:51:01.000 Having seen that is a perspective that very few people...
01:51:06.000 A lot of people in the military know it.
01:51:08.000 And people in the military are coming back and it fucks them up so much, they cannot re-enter into fucking society.
01:51:14.000 Because when you see that shit, it fucks your fucking wiring up.
01:51:18.000 I think we're still operating under this...
01:51:31.000 That's exactly my point.
01:51:33.000 And my point is...
01:51:35.000 Is to say, guess what?
01:51:37.000 We're not sitting here saying, don't go to war, don't go to war.
01:51:40.000 What we're sitting here saying, this is what happens when you go to war.
01:51:43.000 You see the guys.
01:51:44.000 A lot of the guys in the MMA came out of the military.
01:51:47.000 I met a kid that had been pronounced dead.
01:51:51.000 It was multiple times.
01:51:53.000 I mean, this guy, his friend was trying to explain to me the amount of times this kid had been pronounced dead and brought back to life and that it was unbelievable and the amount of courage that he had shown.
01:52:05.000 Apparently it jumped on a grenade.
01:52:06.000 And it was an intense, intense, intense conversation.
01:52:13.000 And all I could think of was this guy unquestionably was a hero from a Joseph Campbell story.
01:52:24.000 You know what I mean?
01:52:28.000 What's exhibited in a true hero is beyond ideology, beyond politics and political influence, and beyond special interest groups.
01:52:40.000 What he exhibited is the thing that we aspire to the most.
01:52:43.000 The person who's willing to literally sacrifice their own being for the health and the welfare of the whole.
01:52:51.000 He was willing to dive on a grenade for the rest of his crew.
01:52:55.000 I mean, that's an incredibly...
01:52:57.000 An incredibly honorable human being.
01:52:59.000 Well, we have heroes.
01:53:01.000 We have real, straight-up heroes.
01:53:04.000 But the whole thing is, you know what?
01:53:08.000 I don't want to send our heroes, or I don't think anyone in the world should send their heroes to fight a war that isn't philosophically correct, that isn't backable.
01:53:21.000 Very true.
01:53:22.000 And I think true heroes, the real heroes, should be guiding the rest of the heroes.
01:53:28.000 We should figure out a way to make people who understand what warfare is truly all about.
01:53:34.000 The people who went and fought should be the fucking voices that we hear about next time we go and fight.
01:53:40.000 Because they're the motherfuckers that know what fucking time it is.
01:53:43.000 And guess what?
01:53:44.000 No one listens to them.
01:53:45.000 And I'm going to tell you one thing about this podcast, is whenever I say, you know what, I fucking saw that shit and it was bad, the response I get from people who have been there, they're like, exactly, exactly, exactly.
01:53:58.000 And I agree with you 100%.
01:53:59.000 If we're going to go to war, then we should listen to our fucking veterans, because it is not...
01:54:04.000 Fucking pretty.
01:54:06.000 And the people who make the decisions to go to war are not the people that ever have to go fight those fucking wars.
01:54:12.000 Those are the only people that are going to understand that reality.
01:54:16.000 That reality is so extreme that it can be sort of justified and glamorized and glossed over in a fictional sense by people who have never experienced it under the threat of their own life expiring.
01:54:30.000 And that's the reality that those people have experienced, that No one who can make their decision from an air-conditioned room with a custom-designed suit should ever be allowed to do.
01:54:42.000 The only people that are going to understand that reality are the people that have experienced that reality.
01:54:48.000 And as a whole, as an organism that respects itself and wants itself to evolve, we should all collectively get together and say, this is completely unnecessary.
01:55:07.000 Right.
01:55:19.000 And if there is a war, the people who are making that decision have to understand and have to talk to the people who have previously been there.
01:55:29.000 Because if you talk to anybody who's gone to Vietnam, if you talk to anyone who went to fucking Korea during the Korean War, if you talk to anybody from World War II, World War I, Afghanistan, Iraq, Bosnia, anywhere, they'll say,
01:55:44.000 don't fucking do it.
01:55:45.000 Yeah.
01:55:46.000 Do not fucking, fucking do it.
01:55:48.000 Because it's fucking bad.
01:55:50.000 It's really fucking bad.
01:55:52.000 Now, are there bad people there?
01:55:54.000 Of course.
01:55:54.000 Are there bad fucking motherfuckers out there?
01:55:56.000 Is North Korea fucking crazy?
01:55:58.000 Fuck yeah.
01:55:58.000 Do you have to buck them down?
01:56:00.000 Of course.
01:56:01.000 You've got to give them hugs.
01:56:02.000 They need all hugs.
01:56:04.000 The North Korea needs the most hugs out of anybody ever.
01:56:07.000 They need someone to take them and give them hugs and say, listen, man.
01:56:11.000 That's going down right now, by the way.
01:56:13.000 It is going down right now.
01:56:13.000 That's going to be like any day now you're going to see.
01:56:16.000 I'm telling you, North Korea, if you listen to me, please.
01:56:19.000 I know this sounds crazy, but you've already accepted Dennis Rodman, so I know you're over the deal.
01:56:24.000 He listens.
01:56:25.000 Kim listens.
01:56:25.000 You know, Kim Jong, whatever your name is, sir, love, God, I'll call you God.
01:56:31.000 He's Monkey Todd on Twitter.
01:56:33.000 Everybody knows, everybody knows that you need a hug, okay?
01:56:38.000 You know, I know, we all know.
01:56:41.000 Let's accept that.
01:56:42.000 You're the dominant ruler of your situation, but you shouldn't be because you would be way happier if you weren't.
01:56:47.000 You'd be way happier if you let all those people go.
01:56:50.000 You'd be way happier if you released all those political prisoners and slaves and whatever the fuck you've got going on there with your wacky laws and the people that were in prison because they didn't cry long enough after your dad died.
01:57:02.000 If everybody was let out and everybody said, alright, settle the fuck down.
01:57:08.000 Let's vote on this shit.
01:57:09.000 Let's be cool with each other.
01:57:11.000 Let's be nice to each other.
01:57:12.000 And the dominant person, the dominant ideas, the most accepted ideology will pretty much always rise to the top.
01:57:20.000 And the exceptional people that can influence the groups, as long as they're doing it in an ethical way, and as long as they're truly trying to advance their culture, good.
01:57:30.000 But they all need to have a certain amount of...
01:57:35.000 Of reality in their own head and a certain amount of humility in their own head and a certain amount of experiences with dark situations or bad moments in life or understanding of failure or psychedelic experiences or whatever the fuck it is.
01:57:53.000 I would say for the first time, and maybe I'm being naive, but I would say for the first time in history, because of the internet and the freedom of movement of information, that you have this young population,
01:58:12.000 Huge, massive, global, young population that most obviously is causing change in Arab Spring.
01:58:20.000 In these countries where Gaddafi was never going to fucking leave.
01:58:24.000 Mubarak was never going to leave.
01:58:26.000 And forcing change in there.
01:58:28.000 Forcing change in Europe.
01:58:30.000 Because young people are pissed off.
01:58:32.000 They're unhappy.
01:58:33.000 They're poor.
01:58:33.000 They're broke.
01:58:33.000 They don't have a lot of opportunities.
01:58:36.000 And they're sitting there saying, we're going to force change.
01:58:38.000 I think that that change is coming to Asia.
01:58:41.000 I think that change is a global phenomenon.
01:58:48.000 The world economic crisis has forced us to wake up.
01:58:51.000 We're saying there's a lot of young people out there and they're fucking pissed off and they're going to fuck shit up.
01:58:57.000 And they're either going to fuck shit up in a good way.
01:59:00.000 And by the way, I think Arab Spring is a positive thing.
01:59:04.000 There's going to be an implosion in Europe if it hasn't already happened and we're just seeing the aftershocks.
01:59:11.000 There's even shit happening here in America.
01:59:13.000 Which, by the way, I'm not afraid of because I like change.
01:59:16.000 I like things to be de-stratified.
01:59:18.000 Because I don't think America, if you look at right now what's happening in Congress, I think America's political system, the America, the political system in America, is broken.
01:59:28.000 Because you have Congress just fighting each other over things that are detrimental to what's going on.
01:59:34.000 They all need mushrooms.
01:59:37.000 They do.
01:59:38.000 They need mushrooms.
01:59:39.000 Everyone does.
01:59:40.000 It sounds like nonsense.
01:59:42.000 Somebody needs to force them to say, hey, yo, you have to fucking work together for the betterment of this country.
01:59:49.000 And the only way to do that is to take ayahuasca.
01:59:51.000 Because what they're doing is they're working against each other and they're fucking...
01:59:55.000 You should have.
01:59:56.000 Salvia Divinorum is legal in 36 states.
01:59:58.000 Do it.
01:59:59.000 I'm resetting.
02:00:00.000 I'm resetting Friday.
02:00:02.000 Get a Motel 6 and a bong and let's get this party started.
02:00:05.000 All you need is one of those butane lighters.
02:00:07.000 You've got to heat it to a certain temperature.
02:00:09.000 Shane, do you know anything about dolphins?
02:00:10.000 Because I'm swimming with one Saturday and I can't wait.
02:00:13.000 Can I tell you something?
02:00:15.000 Yes.
02:00:15.000 I'm going to tell you the truth.
02:00:17.000 All right.
02:00:17.000 So, I went down to this dude, which I'm not allowed to talk too much about, but I'm going to just say his name.
02:00:22.000 Johnny Pagazzi's Island in Panama.
02:00:25.000 And I was on a boat.
02:00:26.000 That guy's going to get some email.
02:00:27.000 I was on a boat, and I went to a super pod.
02:00:31.000 Have you ever heard?
02:00:32.000 I've heard of those recently, right?
02:00:34.000 So, I was on a super pod with 3,000 dolphins, right?
02:00:37.000 3,000 dolphins.
02:00:38.000 3,000?
02:00:39.000 $3,000.
02:00:40.000 Did you hear about that in Mexico?
02:00:41.000 It's an orgy.
02:00:42.000 I saw it on Craigslist.
02:00:43.000 Hey, easy.
02:00:44.000 Okay, so what happened is they gave me, you know what a CBOB is?
02:00:47.000 It's like a James Bond motherfucking thing.
02:00:49.000 Oh, okay.
02:00:50.000 It's like a little jet engine that you can keep up with them.
02:00:55.000 Because they don't like you if you can't keep up with them.
02:00:57.000 Seriously.
02:00:58.000 Well, they need to fucking get over that shit.
02:01:01.000 Judgmental pitches.
02:01:02.000 Anyway, so I had this C-Bob.
02:01:03.000 Were you born with that fin or is that some shit you earned?
02:01:06.000 I was going on my C-Bob and I was going with the Superpod.
02:01:09.000 There's three thousand...
02:01:10.000 This is what...
02:01:11.000 I got shit on because they shit a lot.
02:01:13.000 I got pissed on.
02:01:15.000 I got come on.
02:01:16.000 I saw a baby dolphin being born.
02:01:19.000 There was orgies.
02:01:21.000 Okay, stop right there.
02:01:22.000 Which one of those got you the most hard?
02:01:26.000 No, but I gotta tell you what happened.
02:01:28.000 So I was on the Seabob thing, and then eventually, because the Seabob fucking ran out of batteries, I was holding on to the side of the boat with my thing, you know, snorkel and my mask.
02:01:39.000 And that's when all the shitting and the pissing and the cumming happened.
02:01:42.000 I'm like, what?
02:01:43.000 Because they're all fucking all the time.
02:01:44.000 Yeah, that's right.
02:01:45.000 They're fucking, like, continually.
02:01:46.000 I'm shaving my back for this side of it.
02:01:47.000 Yeah, they just, they fuck, they fuck, they fuck, and they shit, and they piss.
02:01:51.000 And in a super pod, there's just all this matter.
02:01:54.000 There's all just kinds of bits of shit.
02:01:57.000 Shit and cum.
02:01:58.000 Just everywhere.
02:02:00.000 Do they just cum in the air?
02:02:00.000 This was me being shit, pissed, and cum on.
02:02:05.000 I was just going...
02:02:08.000 I was trying to talk to them.
02:02:09.000 Mating call, yes.
02:02:10.000 I was trying to talk to them through my snorkel.
02:02:13.000 Because they come close to you if you do.
02:02:15.000 They come straight up to you.
02:02:17.000 How do you know what you're saying, though?
02:02:18.000 What if you say fuck?
02:02:20.000 Fuck!
02:02:21.000 Don't let me tap out!
02:02:23.000 Joe, they have this shit on YouTube.
02:02:24.000 These videos of all the mating calls.
02:02:26.000 I've been training for two weeks.
02:02:29.000 Don't get raped, man!
02:02:30.000 They'll come straight up to you.
02:02:32.000 What if a killer whale jumps the fence?
02:02:33.000 They'll come straight up to you.
02:02:34.000 They'll come within two inches.
02:02:36.000 They'll check you out.
02:02:37.000 They give you the eyeball.
02:02:39.000 They want to check you out.
02:02:40.000 These were spinners, and spinners are the most...
02:02:42.000 Right, right.
02:02:42.000 It's like crayons.
02:02:43.000 I wish that I could talk to a dolphin and talk them into a game of pool.
02:02:48.000 I saw more fucking...
02:02:50.000 In the super pod.
02:02:52.000 And by the way, I came out of that, the water.
02:02:55.000 He calmed out of it.
02:02:56.000 I came out of the water covered.
02:02:58.000 Covered in shit, piss, and cum.
02:02:59.000 Yes!
02:03:00.000 Hold on.
02:03:01.000 And I've got to say, it was fucking awesome.
02:03:06.000 It was fucking awesome.
02:03:08.000 Because you're in the middle of, you're in the middle of, like they're doing some crazy shit in their society.
02:03:15.000 You don't understand what the fuck is.
02:03:16.000 They're all talking to each other.
02:03:18.000 They're all talking to each other.
02:03:19.000 What does it sound like?
02:03:20.000 There's, like, you can get down there.
02:03:22.000 Say it.
02:03:26.000 It's like a fucking Korean.
02:03:27.000 Yeah, no, they're talking to each other.
02:03:30.000 How many dolphins are there?
02:03:32.000 In the Superpod, there was over 3,000.
02:03:34.000 Oh, my God.
02:03:35.000 Okay, there's 3,000 dolphins, and this is just a wild fuckfest?
02:03:38.000 Yes!
02:03:39.000 That's exactly what it is.
02:03:41.000 So you're down there.
02:03:42.000 You've got a scuba helmet on and all that bullshit.
02:03:45.000 I have a sea bob.
02:03:47.000 And it's basically just you in a wetsuit, right?
02:03:50.000 No wetsuit.
02:03:52.000 You're in a pod, right?
02:03:54.000 No, there's no pod.
02:03:55.000 You have a little engine that you push on the button like this.
02:03:58.000 There's a little tiny engine to keep you...
02:04:00.000 You can't swim as fast.
02:04:01.000 They can swim as fast as fuck.
02:04:02.000 But they do this.
02:04:03.000 The reason why they're called spinners...
02:04:05.000 They do this thing where they're having sexual talks and they spin up into the water.
02:04:10.000 So you see hundreds of dolphins spinning up in the air.
02:04:13.000 But when you go down into the water, there's thousands of the dolphins fucking and having babies and shitting and pissing and everything.
02:04:23.000 And they're actually just hanging out.
02:04:26.000 Before we came along and stole all the tilapia, I bet that shit was a bomb.
02:04:31.000 Party and a half.
02:04:32.000 I'll tell you what.
02:04:33.000 That's exactly what it is.
02:04:35.000 It's not tilapia, but tuna.
02:04:37.000 Tuna, whatever.
02:04:38.000 How long ago were dolphins have been in the same state for a million plus years?
02:04:44.000 Is that correct?
02:04:44.000 Yeah, and that's the interesting thing about it.
02:04:47.000 They have language.
02:04:47.000 They have social norms.
02:04:49.000 They have all this.
02:04:50.000 They have names for each other.
02:04:52.000 They have names for each other.
02:04:53.000 Yeah.
02:04:53.000 All this shit.
02:04:54.000 Their cerebral cortex is 40% larger than a human being.
02:04:57.000 The hottest dolphin is actually the pink dolphin.
02:05:00.000 It's the rarest one.
02:05:01.000 So that's like the Japanese girl with the big tits.
02:05:04.000 That's the Angelina Jolie.
02:05:06.000 Yeah.
02:05:06.000 I think that's Brazilian.
02:05:07.000 The dolphin's got some big ass tits.
02:05:08.000 Is that a saltwater or a freshwater dolphin?
02:05:11.000 I think pink is Brazil, right?
02:05:13.000 Yeah, of course.
02:05:14.000 They have the biggest ass.
02:05:15.000 They have the biggest ass.
02:05:16.000 Look at these asses on these dolphins.
02:05:17.000 But I will say spinners are my particular favorite.
02:05:22.000 Well, spinners are what also dudes call 90-pound freaks.
02:05:25.000 I've never been happy until I was accepted by the spinner paw.
02:05:29.000 You've never been happy as a human?
02:05:30.000 That's ridiculous.
02:05:31.000 I finally have found out my...
02:05:33.000 Did you ever watch Saturday Night Live while you were on amphetamines?
02:05:38.000 Joe, I'm doing this Saturday.
02:05:41.000 You know that, right?
02:05:42.000 Saturday, I'm swimming with the dolphins.
02:05:44.000 I will say it's fucking awesome.
02:05:46.000 Explain what you're doing.
02:05:48.000 It is fucking awesome.
02:05:49.000 They're putting me in...
02:05:51.000 This guy has this pool about the size of your pool.
02:05:54.000 Like a regular swimming pool, but he has four dolphins that just shoves in there.
02:06:01.000 A backyard pool?
02:06:02.000 Yeah, and he has this yoga music on, and you just fucking swim naked around his back pool.
02:06:07.000 Wow.
02:06:07.000 How long have these dolphins been in this pool?
02:06:09.000 I don't know why.
02:06:11.000 Is this some sort of porn?
02:06:13.000 No, it's not in porn.
02:06:14.000 I don't think it's porn.
02:06:15.000 I really don't think it's porn.
02:06:16.000 Because they get horny, you know that.
02:06:18.000 I know!
02:06:18.000 Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
02:06:20.000 Where are you going to do this?
02:06:22.000 San Diego.
02:06:22.000 That's a bit weird.
02:06:23.000 It's not a pool.
02:06:24.000 It's not like somebody's backyard.
02:06:26.000 He's gonna give me his address when I get there.
02:06:28.000 Oh my god, dude, you're getting raped.
02:06:30.000 Hold on, hold on.
02:06:32.000 Don't do that!
02:06:33.000 That sounds fucked up.
02:06:34.000 You need to talk to my lawyer.
02:06:35.000 What are you doing?
02:06:37.000 Are you out of your mind?
02:06:38.000 Listen to me.
02:06:39.000 He sent me video links that I've watched.
02:06:42.000 For people at home going, how fucking big is Rogan's pool?
02:06:45.000 It is a totally normal backyard pool.
02:06:48.000 I don't have a crazy pool at all.
02:06:50.000 It seems a lot smaller than it should be, honestly.
02:06:53.000 It's a regular pool.
02:06:55.000 If anybody has four dolphins in my pool, you're an asshole.
02:07:00.000 Okay?
02:07:01.000 You don't need to congregate with those type of humans.
02:07:04.000 I will say this.
02:07:05.000 I have some proclivities to play cards.
02:07:09.000 And I went to Atlantis to play some cards.
02:07:12.000 And I swam with the dolphins in Atlantis.
02:07:14.000 You know, you swim with them.
02:07:15.000 I had a good time.
02:07:17.000 They're nice dolphins.
02:07:17.000 Everybody's nice.
02:07:18.000 But I gotta tell you one thing.
02:07:20.000 When you go out when they're wild motherfuckers in the pods, they could fuck you up.
02:07:26.000 They could kill you, bite you, fuck you up in a second.
02:07:28.000 And you know what they want to do with you?
02:07:29.000 They want to play with you.
02:07:30.000 They want to talk to you.
02:07:31.000 They want to fucking hang out with you.
02:07:33.000 And then you realize, these are nice dolphins.
02:07:36.000 The sharks will fuck you up.
02:07:38.000 The sharks will get you and eat you.
02:07:40.000 They're looking for meat.
02:07:41.000 Well, they're the cleanup crew.
02:07:43.000 They don't kill dolphins, by the way.
02:07:45.000 By the way, dolphins eat meat.
02:07:46.000 Dolphins eat meat, the same as sharks do.
02:07:47.000 And dolphins will fuck a shark up.
02:07:49.000 But the dolphins, for some fucking reason, they have this weird affinity with humans.
02:07:55.000 They won't kill you.
02:07:56.000 They won't eat you.
02:07:56.000 They won't fuck you up.
02:07:57.000 They'll save you.
02:07:57.000 The sailors always say, you know, the fucking...
02:08:00.000 Dolphins don't have it together either.
02:08:02.000 I don't know.
02:08:03.000 Most dolphins do.
02:08:04.000 I don't know.
02:08:04.000 Because I'll tell you one thing.
02:08:07.000 I swam around sharks and I was shit scared.
02:08:10.000 And when I was swimming around dolphins, I was not scared at all.
02:08:13.000 They were very nice to me.
02:08:14.000 They were very polite.
02:08:15.000 Very nice.
02:08:16.000 They're like fucking massage parlors.
02:08:17.000 They're nice.
02:08:18.000 Settle down, bitches.
02:08:19.000 They don't have thumbs and they know we have guns.
02:08:22.000 It's that simple.
02:08:23.000 They don't have thumbs and they know we have guns.
02:08:26.000 They're not stupid.
02:08:27.000 What's going on here is that they realize that evolution has blessed them with the ability to move through their waters as if they were flying through the fucking sky like superheroes!
02:08:40.000 They don't have to breathe for minutes at a time.
02:08:43.000 They can always get to the surface unless some crafty Japanese dudes have manufactured some sort of a netting that traps them in the water.
02:08:52.000 I'd just like to say things have gotten real weird all of a sudden.
02:08:54.000 Not weird at all!
02:08:56.000 Don't get uncomfortable!
02:08:59.000 It's a life and death struggle.
02:09:01.000 And the reason why dolphins are as ruthless as they are is because life demands that at the top of the pyramid of fucking craziness.
02:09:10.000 You're a bit weirded out by dolphins.
02:09:12.000 No!
02:09:12.000 No!
02:09:13.000 He is!
02:09:13.000 He's a bit weirded out.
02:09:14.000 He's going to like it!
02:09:15.000 He's married!
02:09:16.000 He's a bit weirded out by a dolphin.
02:09:17.000 No, there's a bit that I wrote about something.
02:09:19.000 Dolphins and sinkholes.
02:09:21.000 We figured it out.
02:09:22.000 Dolphins and sinkholes.
02:09:23.000 What about bigfoot?
02:09:25.000 What about crocodiles?
02:09:26.000 What if there was a dolphin that became a werewolf?
02:09:28.000 Yeah, what about all that?
02:09:29.000 What about syphilis?
02:09:30.000 You're being rude.
02:09:32.000 You're being rude by eliminating a lot of my fears.
02:09:35.000 Sorry.
02:09:35.000 Or trying to categorize me as some sort of a normal meathead.
02:09:39.000 Joe, why don't we do podcasts like this every day?
02:09:41.000 We're not incapable of it.
02:09:43.000 I think also my question of food versus booze has been answered.
02:09:47.000 Thank you very much.
02:09:48.000 You're right.
02:09:49.000 I haven't ate yet today.
02:09:49.000 I could take a cardboard sandwich with a good pause and that'd be fine.
02:09:52.000 Dude, I have not ate yet.
02:09:53.000 I'm not going to taste it anyway.
02:09:54.000 Have you ate yet today?
02:09:55.000 Yeah, I've eaten several times.
02:09:56.000 Oh my God, I haven't ate yet today.
02:09:58.000 I'm ready to kill a buffalo, bitch.
02:10:01.000 I'm ready to go to Aubrey's hunting camp and kill a buffalo.
02:10:04.000 Are you going to need that?
02:10:04.000 Yeah, I need a lot of red meat, man.
02:10:06.000 It's very important.
02:10:07.000 It's imperative to keep my fucking fuel.
02:10:08.000 I thought the red meat was the inflammatory shit.
02:10:11.000 Nonsense!
02:10:12.000 What?
02:10:12.000 The real issue.
02:10:13.000 No, it's the highest thing of cholesterol ever.
02:10:15.000 The real issue is, Brian...
02:10:17.000 What is that word?
02:10:19.000 Hey, I have to worry about you now.
02:10:21.000 Brian, what's the word?
02:10:23.000 Fart monkey.
02:10:24.000 Grass fed, bitch!
02:10:26.000 Battle ropes.
02:10:28.000 Real inflammation as far as animal tissue, there's a lot of it that's been correlated to cows eating corn.
02:10:35.000 My problem is I eat everything.
02:10:37.000 I love it to eat.
02:10:38.000 I love eating food.
02:10:39.000 I love drinking food.
02:10:40.000 Here's the problem with corn-fed beef.
02:10:42.000 Goddamn delicious, okay?
02:10:44.000 A ribeye, a solid ribeye over mesquite charcoal.
02:10:48.000 You were talking about when you first saw Vice and you're like, I saw your Chernobyl shit.
02:10:54.000 The first Rogan podcast I ever heard was You know how much fucking shit it takes to make a skirt steak?
02:11:01.000 Or a strip steak.
02:11:02.000 A strip steak.
02:11:02.000 You were talking about a strip steak.
02:11:04.000 Maybe it was Anthony Bourdain, but it was somebody.
02:11:06.000 Probably.
02:11:07.000 You were talking about a strip steak, and you were saying, this fucking steak, they take it out of the whole cow, and this is the fucking thing, and you put it on the goddamn barbecue and whatever.
02:11:17.000 And I was sitting there, and I was like...
02:11:19.000 Why the fuck isn't he talking about a porterhouse?
02:11:22.000 Because the porterhouse has the strip and the filet.
02:11:25.000 Because you don't want to get crazy.
02:11:27.000 With the bone.
02:11:27.000 So it's got the best of both worlds.
02:11:29.000 It's like a she-mail.
02:11:30.000 Like what we're talking about.
02:11:31.000 The best of both worlds.
02:11:32.000 It's got the filet and the strip.
02:11:34.000 You need a hug, son.
02:11:35.000 And the fucking bone.
02:11:38.000 So anyways, the first podcast I ever heard was talking about steak, and that's when I fell in love with you.
02:11:43.000 Was it Anthony?
02:11:44.000 Oh, you fell in love?
02:11:45.000 That's sweet.
02:11:45.000 I'm glad it's mutual.
02:11:47.000 I don't know.
02:11:47.000 This feels like the marathon, like three-hour podcast of steak, booze, and politics.
02:11:51.000 When I met Anthony Bourdain, he was one of the first guys.
02:11:54.000 I was like, I hope this guy likes me.
02:11:55.000 It would suck.
02:11:57.000 He's awesome.
02:11:58.000 I love him.
02:11:59.000 I love his shows.
02:12:01.000 He's awesome.
02:12:02.000 And what he's done is awesome.
02:12:03.000 Yes!
02:12:04.000 Well, who he is, he's so honest about his intentions.
02:12:08.000 But a guy who can take food and fucking make it into what he did.
02:12:13.000 Listen, let me tell you something about how committed Anthony is to food.
02:12:18.000 He takes this drug so that he can still eat pork.
02:12:22.000 He takes some sort of Lipitor or whatever the fuck it is.
02:12:26.000 I need that drug.
02:12:27.000 They literally said to him, you must change your diet.
02:12:30.000 You're traveling all over the world.
02:12:32.000 Because he's got too much cholesterol?
02:12:33.000 Exactly.
02:12:34.000 Cholesterol-filled fatty foods.
02:12:37.000 Red wine, red wine.
02:12:38.000 You have to make a decision.
02:12:40.000 It's either Lipitor or it's no fatty foods.
02:12:45.000 You either take this drug.
02:12:46.000 So he takes the Lipitor.
02:12:47.000 So he takes the drug.
02:12:47.000 Yeah, fuck yeah.
02:12:48.000 He doesn't give a fuck.
02:12:49.000 Fuck yeah.
02:12:50.000 He's like, I want the pork.
02:12:51.000 Yeah.
02:12:52.000 I need it.
02:12:53.000 Well, pork is the best.
02:12:54.000 Well, pork, because if you go to any country, beef generally sucks.
02:12:59.000 America, the beef is fantastic, but generally it sucks because beef needs a lot of, you know, grass and a lot of food and a lot of water.
02:13:06.000 So beef in most countries is shit.
02:13:09.000 But pork, like when you have pork from a third world country or yard birds, the best...
02:13:17.000 Yard bird?
02:13:18.000 Like a yard bird.
02:13:19.000 That's what I call those...
02:13:19.000 Never mind.
02:13:20.000 Like a bird that lives in the yard.
02:13:22.000 Is that a pigeon?
02:13:23.000 No, chicken.
02:13:24.000 Chicken?
02:13:24.000 But they'll just like, let's say you go to Jamaica, right?
02:13:26.000 Right.
02:13:27.000 They have a yard bird.
02:13:28.000 They just go out and kill it.
02:13:29.000 They take it and they cover it in chili and they barbecue the fuck out of it.
02:13:32.000 Not jerk.
02:13:33.000 Everyone always talks about jerk chicken.
02:13:34.000 It's fucking barbecue chicken in Jamaica.
02:13:37.000 And it's the best fucking thing you ever eat.
02:13:38.000 Why?
02:13:39.000 Because it's just a yard bird.
02:13:40.000 It's just been eating the fucking shit, whatever.
02:13:41.000 Same thing when you go anywhere else.
02:13:43.000 Yeah, well you can, people don't realize that.
02:13:45.000 Like you can take like your scraps of your table scraps.
02:13:48.000 It's the same thing with pork.
02:13:49.000 Yeah, if you had a bunch of chickens, you can throw them in the backyard and they can live very well off of your scraps.
02:13:56.000 Yardbirds are the most delicious motherfuckers you'll ever have in your fucking life.
02:14:00.000 What we have here is some Purdue genetically modified bullshit.
02:14:05.000 Yeah.
02:14:05.000 But if you ever have a yard bird just from anywhere, just put it on a grill, do whatever the fuck it is.
02:14:12.000 You sit there and you go, what the fuck am I eating?
02:14:14.000 This is the best thing I've ever eaten.
02:14:15.000 Let me ask you this because I have two inclinations.
02:14:19.000 And one inclination is to be in the woods on the top of a mountain with a well and experiencing nature.
02:14:28.000 And the other inclination is to be in the hive, to be deep inside of Manhattan.
02:14:37.000 I think you were on the mountain guy.
02:14:41.000 Yes and no.
02:14:46.000 Where's the gravity coming from?
02:14:48.000 Is it coming from the masses of humanity who, although imperfect at the moment, might be trying harder to work shit out?
02:14:57.000 Or is it from this sort of reluctant...
02:15:02.000 Agreement that the earth is much more powerful than the culture at this point in time.
02:15:07.000 It's better to just isolate yourself from all these idiots who haven't gotten the information yet and get your own water from a hole in the ground.
02:15:13.000 I think, you know, again, that may be the quintessential question of the modern age.
02:15:19.000 But you're in both spots.
02:15:21.000 Yeah.
02:15:21.000 Because you're in a guy, you live in Manhattan, you have children, so you're on that next level of sensitivity.
02:15:27.000 But also, I spend the majority of my time out there in the shit...
02:15:31.000 And I will tell you this, when you actually have something, like for example, like you said, if you kill a deer and you cook that on an open fire, nothing tastes better than that.
02:15:41.000 You're right.
02:15:42.000 However, the thing is, this might be my paranoia, you've got your sinkholes and your werewolves.
02:15:49.000 What I think is happening is there's a global restructuring happening.
02:15:53.000 There is a global restructuring happening.
02:15:56.000 The people are seeing their calling the greatest recession since the Depression.
02:16:00.000 They're saying, well, this is this and this is that.
02:16:02.000 I think this is the new normal.
02:16:04.000 So, to be honest, and I'm not necessarily proud of this, what I love about New York City is I kind of feel like Nero as Rome is burning because I believe New York City is the greatest city in the world.
02:16:16.000 I believe it's the capital of the world culturally and economically and politically, for that matter.
02:16:22.000 And, you know, when you go out in New York City, It has the best restaurants in the world.
02:16:28.000 It has the best nightlife in the world.
02:16:30.000 I believe it has the best everything in the world.
02:16:32.000 I'm a huge fan of New York City.
02:16:33.000 I'm not from New York City.
02:16:34.000 Here's the problem.
02:16:35.000 I'm not in New York, so I say wrong.
02:16:38.000 Well, it does, and so you can fuck off.
02:16:40.000 But what I will say is when you go out in New York City, right now, today, and it might be Shanghai in 10 years or whatever, but today, New York is the global capital.
02:16:53.000 And you can go out in New York City and you can, like me, come as a penniless immigrant and become a fucking rich motherfucker who can go out and have the greatest food.
02:17:02.000 And by the way, that food can be like a dollar.
02:17:05.000 Spring roll at the Vietnamese Bice or the best steak at Peter Luger's or whatever the fuck it is.
02:17:10.000 New York will give you everything.
02:17:13.000 New York has everything.
02:17:15.000 It's fantastic.
02:17:16.000 God damn it, I'm moving to New York!
02:17:18.000 Ryan, pack your bags!
02:17:19.000 No, I'm not going.
02:17:20.000 We got Blue Cross Blue Shields!
02:17:23.000 Jamie's with us!
02:17:24.000 But where are we going?
02:17:27.000 Where are we going?
02:17:28.000 Underground to a bunker with the crocodiles.
02:17:30.000 Where are we going is, and where do I feel the happiest is, I feel the happiest out in nature.
02:17:37.000 I feel the happiest at sea.
02:17:39.000 I feel the happiest in the forest.
02:17:41.000 I feel the happiest grilling meat over a grill.
02:17:44.000 You've got to bring Manhattan to the forest.
02:17:47.000 But what I will tell you is, I don't believe that the sort of Roman bacchanalian craziness that is New York today is going to be around that much longer.
02:17:57.000 Who is Roman bacchanalian?
02:17:59.000 Well, Roman, like the end of Rome, the Roman Empire, and Bacchanalian Bacchus, the sort of, the god of wine and drink and partying.
02:18:07.000 How obscure are your references?
02:18:10.000 Sorry.
02:18:10.000 I know, it's like Bacchus.
02:18:13.000 Who's Bacchus?
02:18:15.000 God of booze.
02:18:16.000 How do you know about these people?
02:18:18.000 I read books, bitch.
02:18:19.000 Okay, I understand this.
02:18:21.000 Bacchanalian, it means boozy.
02:18:25.000 It's been three times during this podcast that the MagSafe electrical cord connecting to my laptop has dropped off through my flailing hands.
02:18:35.000 That means it's a good'un.
02:18:38.000 Dude, you have a battery.
02:18:39.000 It lasts three hours.
02:18:40.000 You don't have to worry about that.
02:18:41.000 No, no, no.
02:18:41.000 I'm upset with Apple.
02:18:43.000 Why did you change?
02:18:45.000 This shit's 100% charged right now.
02:18:46.000 They change their charges all the time.
02:18:49.000 Stop playing games.
02:18:50.000 No, it's the best right now.
02:18:51.000 It's the best.
02:18:52.000 I finally, at 45 years of age, am a part of an actual company that sells things.
02:18:58.000 And one of the things that I realize is you can decide to make more money, you fucks.
02:19:04.000 Are you peeing?
02:19:05.000 No, no.
02:19:05.000 But, hey...
02:19:07.000 Ice-T. Ice-T the rapper?
02:19:11.000 No, he wants Ice-T. Oh, okay.
02:19:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:19:14.000 We never came up with Olive Garden.
02:19:16.000 No, Olive Garden.
02:19:18.000 Just keep the camera off my man as he meditates into a trance.
02:19:26.000 That means he has to snap one off.
02:19:28.000 A transcendental meditation point where he understands the point of view that he is in right now does not represent where he will be in infinity.
02:19:42.000 If he is in fact a soul and if a soul transgresses from one point in history to another Over and over and over until you get it right.
02:19:59.000 Now this sounds like hippie bullshit, but do you understand that Helio Gracie believed in this?
02:20:04.000 Helio Gracie said something once, and if you don't know who he is, his real name isn't Helio Gracie.
02:20:10.000 I say that for all you white people who don't understand how Brazilian people pronounce things.
02:20:16.000 But they pronounce the...
02:20:18.000 for whatever reason...
02:20:20.000 Helio Gracie, H-E-L-I-O, was pronounced Ilio Gracie.
02:20:25.000 That's how the Portuguese in Brazil use that word.
02:20:29.000 Ilio Gracie.
02:20:30.000 He said something once, and he's the guy who trained Hickson Gracie and Hoist Gracie, the original winner of the UFC 1 and the UFC 2. I mean, Hoist Gracie changed the entire face of martial arts.
02:20:46.000 Wasn't he the dude who also said, I'll take on all comers, all weight classes...
02:20:49.000 And we'll pay 10 or 100 grand or whatever.
02:20:53.000 The number changes.
02:20:54.000 But he said, I'll take on any fighter, any weight class, and I'll fight them.
02:20:57.000 Not only did Ilio Gracie do this, he did this when he was 140 plus pounds.
02:21:04.000 He was like 145. He developed a method of using leverage and using technique to submit guys that were much, much, much larger than you.
02:21:16.000 He trained Hickson.
02:21:18.000 He trained Hoyce.
02:21:20.000 He trained some of the most influential martial artists in the history of the world.
02:21:25.000 One of the things he said is that you live this life and if you make even one mistake and you live this life incorrectly, you will return and you will do it all over again until you get it right.
02:21:41.000 That sounds crazy.
02:21:44.000 I heard about that, and I was like, oh, you motherfucker, why are you putting all that bullshit on me?
02:21:49.000 There's no way anybody's ever going to live this life perfectly and get it...
02:21:53.000 And then I thought, if anybody knows, if anybody understands the path of man in its truest form without hyperbole, without...
02:22:12.000 Directing other people's insecurities back on different folks to alleviate the pressure of reality.
02:22:19.000 If anybody's going to understand what the fuck is really going on, it's going to be a 145 pound man.
02:22:27.000 Who's willing to take on the greatest fighters.
02:22:30.000 Any fighter.
02:22:31.000 Any fighter.
02:22:32.000 Any style.
02:22:33.000 This is the 1920s.
02:22:33.000 The 1930s.
02:22:34.000 Any weight.
02:22:34.000 Any fucking weight.
02:22:36.000 That's insane.
02:22:37.000 Kimura broke his arm with a Kimura.
02:22:41.000 It's a shoulder lock.
02:22:42.000 The catch wrestling guys call it a double wrist lock.
02:22:46.000 But this technique became known as a Kimura.
02:22:50.000 He broke his arm.
02:22:51.000 Ilia wouldn't tap out.
02:22:53.000 He let him break his arm.
02:22:54.000 Did you ever see the thing I did?
02:22:56.000 I went down to Sao Paulo and Rio and I hung out with the Gracies and I hung out with the fighters down there, the Vale Tudo guys.
02:23:05.000 They are the fucking toughest dudes in the fucking world.
02:23:09.000 The Vale Tudo guys are fucking enough.
02:23:11.000 It's a crazy way to live.
02:23:12.000 Now they're all fighting MMA. They're all fighting UFC. Well, they do that now because they realize there's prosperity in that.
02:23:19.000 Yeah, they can get out of the favelas.
02:23:22.000 But they are the toughest motherfuckers alive down there.
02:23:26.000 Yes.
02:23:27.000 One of the most beautiful things about what Elio said, what Elio Gracie said, when he said that he would...
02:23:36.000 Like, that he literally had sort of figured out a way to test who you are and test what you could figure out and test what you could do.
02:23:48.000 And he truly believed in these most extreme of circumstances, literally fighting these much larger, much stronger men and letting them break his arms.
02:24:00.000 He believed that if you live this life, That you must do it correctly.
02:24:06.000 And if you did anything wrong, anything contrary to your spirit or contrary to the soul or the collective idea of humanity as a whole being of the utmost importance,
02:24:22.000 so you, the one who is tested, must represent humanity.
02:24:26.000 And in that...
02:24:28.000 Saying that if you made any mistakes, you would do it again.
02:24:32.000 I was so scared.
02:24:33.000 When I read that, I was like, that might be one of the most frightening things I've ever read in my life.
02:24:39.000 Because he might be right.
02:24:40.000 What if that guy in his battles, literally almost to the death.
02:24:45.000 I mean, he was fighting guys.
02:24:46.000 With anybody.
02:24:47.000 Yeah!
02:24:47.000 The modern-day kumite blood sport.
02:24:49.000 And he was a small man!
02:24:51.000 Exactly, and he kicked the fuck out of everybody.
02:24:53.000 Dude, I weigh 190 pounds.
02:24:55.000 That means this guy, he was 145 pounds.
02:25:00.000 He was literally 45 pounds more than me.
02:25:04.000 That's less than me.
02:25:06.000 That's an insane amount of weight.
02:25:07.000 And this guy would take...
02:25:08.000 I wouldn't take on anybody in the world.
02:25:10.000 He would take on big, giant people.
02:25:13.000 And in throwing himself into the fire, he had an understanding of human life and of human nature.
02:25:22.000 And he sort of, in some way, relayed that to the rest of us.
02:25:27.000 Can I give a shout-out and can I tell you one story?
02:25:29.000 Are you giving a shout-out?
02:25:30.000 Are you a black guy or a white rapper?
02:25:33.000 Can I give a shout out?
02:25:34.000 What's happening here?
02:25:35.000 I would like to give a shout out to one guy who I met.
02:25:38.000 He's a guy named Matt Ruskin, right?
02:25:41.000 And he was in the Marines in Iraq.
02:25:43.000 And they had these fight clubs in Iraq.
02:25:46.000 And the Marines, these were tough motherfuckers.
02:25:51.000 And he was doing this.
02:25:52.000 They had these fight clubs.
02:25:54.000 And they would fight the fuck out of each other.
02:25:56.000 And he's like 200 pounds.
02:25:58.000 And he would fight guys who were 250. He would fight guys who were 150. He was fighting them.
02:26:02.000 He would beat them all.
02:26:02.000 And he came back and he started doing MMA. He started fighting MMA. And he hooked up with this guy, one of the Gracies, and taught him Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, of which he was, I believe, five-time world champion, the Gracie.
02:26:19.000 Which guy?
02:26:20.000 I'm forgetting his fucking name.
02:26:22.000 He's a fucking amazing, amazing guy.
02:26:23.000 His name is Gracie?
02:26:25.000 Yeah, he's Gracie.
02:26:26.000 And I went down to Brazil.
02:26:28.000 Hodger Gracie?
02:26:30.000 What weight does he compete at?
02:26:32.000 Heavyweight.
02:26:33.000 Heavyweight.
02:26:33.000 He was five-time world Brazilian jiu-jitsu champion.
02:26:39.000 Well, Hodger's not quite a heavyweight.
02:26:42.000 He competes in MMA at 185. I don't think he fights any more than MMA, but he was a Brazilian jiu-jitsu champion five times.
02:26:49.000 Global champion.
02:26:51.000 Anyway, Matt Ruskin hooked me up with this guy.
02:26:53.000 Do you remember his name at all?
02:26:56.000 See, Gracie.
02:26:59.000 That's the problem, goddammit.
02:27:01.000 But he's a big, big fucking heavyweight.
02:27:05.000 Heavyweight?
02:27:05.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:27:06.000 Heavyweight Gracie.
02:27:07.000 Yeah.
02:27:07.000 I went down, if you can look it up, I went down with him on, you know.
02:27:12.000 Shout out to Echo.
02:27:13.000 Shout out to heavyweight Gracie.
02:27:15.000 Anyway, but I gotta say this, Matt Ruskin, the Marine fought in Iraq, came back, started fighting with the Gracies, took me down there, showed me what the fuck was going on, And I've got to say, you know, I learned the story of the Gracies from the Gracies when I was down there.
02:27:31.000 And that story of, you know, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu and him sort of taking on all comers with the bounty, you know, like if you can beat me.
02:27:43.000 When I heard it was a million bucks, but I think it was actually more like a hundred grand.
02:27:47.000 What year is this?
02:27:48.000 This is in like the 70s and 80s.
02:27:51.000 This is like the Valley Tudo times.
02:27:53.000 Wait a minute.
02:27:54.000 A heavyweight Gracie from back then?
02:27:56.000 No, no.
02:27:56.000 Now, the Gracie that brought me down.
02:27:59.000 Hollis?
02:28:00.000 Was it Hollis Gracie?
02:28:01.000 No, Hollis Gracie is very famous.
02:28:03.000 Well, Hollis, the son of Hulse.
02:28:05.000 Right.
02:28:06.000 It's...
02:28:07.000 Fuck.
02:28:08.000 I'm going to get in shit for forgetting his name.
02:28:10.000 Well, that's okay.
02:28:11.000 Think about it for a second.
02:28:12.000 He's a real good looking guy.
02:28:13.000 He was a model.
02:28:15.000 Real good looking guy.
02:28:17.000 Hickson?
02:28:18.000 Pickson's the most handsome of all time and the greatest of all time.
02:28:21.000 No, this guy was actually a model in Brazil.
02:28:23.000 I'm not gay, bro.
02:28:25.000 And Matt Ruskin, if you could tweet me his name now.
02:28:28.000 His name is Gracie and he was a model?
02:28:30.000 Yeah, model and a great fighter.
02:28:31.000 Somebody lied to you and got in your pants.
02:28:33.000 Was this that structure at Sears?
02:28:35.000 And five-time...
02:28:36.000 Global jujitsu champion.
02:28:38.000 We are now in a swamp of disinformation.
02:28:41.000 No, it's true.
02:28:42.000 No Wikipedia entries whatsoever.
02:28:44.000 If someone could tweet us right now.
02:28:45.000 Here's the problem.
02:28:46.000 We don't have an actual name here.
02:28:48.000 Let me tell you something.
02:28:49.000 I'm going to look at my phone.
02:28:51.000 Matt Ruskin, email me his name.
02:28:53.000 I'm sure Matt Ruskin has probably got a good gator roll, maybe an Anaconda choke, or Victor Gracie.
02:29:00.000 I'm going to look right now.
02:29:02.000 Victor Gracie?
02:29:03.000 Victor Gracie is pretty sexy.
02:29:04.000 A good half guard.
02:29:04.000 He shaves.
02:29:05.000 This guy was more of a jiu-jitsu straight up.
02:29:08.000 Let me explain something.
02:29:09.000 Okay, first of all.
02:29:10.000 No bullshit.
02:29:12.000 I've been doing jiu-jitsu since 1998 and I've never heard of a Gracie heavyweight.
02:29:18.000 He seems like a Victor guy.
02:29:19.000 He's a heavyweight who won World Jiu-Jitsu Championship.
02:29:27.000 I understand.
02:29:28.000 Okay, go.
02:29:29.000 Hollis Gracie in MMA, who was...
02:29:32.000 He beat Bob Sapp.
02:29:34.000 I think he fought in the UFC once.
02:29:37.000 He lost, but I think it was more of a case of a...
02:29:42.000 When a guy immediately gets thrown into the UFC, there's a thing that happens called an adrenaline dump where you get in front of the big cameras and you think about the Hoist-Gracy fights of 1993 and you panic.
02:29:58.000 It's like the overwhelming input of the moment is too much.
02:30:05.000 Matt, how are you?
02:30:08.000 I'm here with Joe Rogan.
02:30:10.000 We're talking about the Gracies.
02:30:12.000 And I'm saying, who's the...
02:30:14.000 Daniel Gracie.
02:30:14.000 Daniel Gracie.
02:30:16.000 Daniel Gracie, world jiu-jitsu champion.
02:30:19.000 How many times?
02:30:20.000 Three times?
02:30:24.000 Yeah, so he's a global jiu-jitsu champion.
02:30:28.000 Daniel Gracie.
02:30:30.000 I'm going to put you on to Rogan.
02:30:31.000 Hold on a second.
02:30:32.000 Talk to him.
02:30:33.000 By the way, Matt Ruskin's a fucking awesome dude.
02:30:36.000 Hey, Matt.
02:30:49.000 Alright, Shane Smith walked into a fucking gym that I used to work at and I basically told him How rude.
02:30:59.000 First of all, how rude.
02:31:01.000 How about...
02:31:02.000 Hey, settle down.
02:31:04.000 First of all, how about you tell him first and foremost that you love him?
02:31:07.000 You don't have to go right into your fat fuck and you're going to die.
02:31:11.000 He knows how much you love him?
02:31:13.000 You say that, but is that to alleviate the pressure of your own person?
02:31:16.000 It's true, though.
02:31:17.000 We love each other.
02:31:18.000 Oh, no gay stuff.
02:31:20.000 This is a late night podcast.
02:31:22.000 There's a lot of dudes that are listening to this in the shower.
02:31:25.000 I'm sorry.
02:31:26.000 Keep going.
02:31:27.000 Matt.
02:31:32.000 No gay stuff, bro.
02:31:34.000 This is late night.
02:31:36.000 So we just became friends after that and I did some work with advice before Fightland.
02:31:44.000 They did this whole thing with me when I was training for one of my fights.
02:31:48.000 They sent their friend Thomas around with me for a while.
02:31:53.000 Tell them about when we went down with Daniel Gracie.
02:32:01.000 Daniel Gracie?
02:32:07.000 Here's the thing about Daniel Gracie.
02:32:09.000 Daniel Gracie is a very, very, very talented Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu fighter, but his real last name, I don't believe, was initially Gracie.
02:32:18.000 No, he's Henzo's cousin.
02:32:21.000 He's Henzo's cousin, yeah.
02:32:22.000 And I think his mom's name was Gracie, but his dad's name and his birth name was not Gracie, right?
02:32:32.000 Yeah.
02:32:35.000 I believe.
02:32:36.000 This is what I believe.
02:32:37.000 I believe he's a very talented fighter, but I believe this whole idea of connecting yourself to the word Gracie is...
02:32:45.000 It is ultimately very self-defeating.
02:32:48.000 And when a guy does that, I almost want to pull him aside.
02:32:51.000 I say, Daniel, you're a bad motherfucker.
02:32:53.000 Whatever the fuck your last name is, it doesn't matter.
02:32:56.000 You need to get your head wrapped around the fact that that's all bullshit.
02:33:00.000 Gracie is a great name, but it's 2013, and when he was competing 8, 9, 10, whatever the fuck it was, 2000...
02:33:10.000 It doesn't matter.
02:33:11.000 What matters is how good you are.
02:33:13.000 And adopting the name Gracie almost makes people think like, oh, well this guy is trying to get a little extra attention for no reason.
02:33:23.000 The world championships are the world championships.
02:33:25.000 You either mount a guy, you take his back, you tap him.
02:33:29.000 Whatever you do, you either do or you don't do.
02:33:32.000 And it doesn't matter if your name is Marcelo Garcia, who's unbelievably respected.
02:33:37.000 I mean, Marcel Garcia is the top of the pyramid when it comes to Brazilian Jiu Jitsu in the world today in 2013. Or Gracie, it doesn't matter.
02:33:46.000 So, whatever his name was, what was his real name?
02:33:50.000 I think the family name was Vieira or Samoes, one of the two.
02:33:54.000 Matt, how many times have you been high in your life?
02:33:56.000 Don't lie to me.
02:33:58.000 How many times what?
02:33:59.000 Have you been high in your life?
02:34:01.000 More than ten?
02:34:03.000 Is it more than ten?
02:34:06.000 Yes.
02:34:06.000 Okay.
02:34:08.000 So we could probably go camping together.
02:34:10.000 How many times you ate in pot brownies and thought about chicks you fingered when you were 14?
02:34:13.000 You were really upset.
02:34:15.000 Like Kyra Gracie.
02:34:16.000 More than 10. More than 10. That's why I love talking to you, Matt.
02:34:22.000 Let's keep it together, Matt.
02:34:24.000 But there was a few guys that did the Gracie thing, where they used the word Gracie.
02:34:28.000 What I'm going to say is, Daniel Gracie, whatever you want to call him, what I'm going to say is, he's a bad motherfucker, but by the way, he took us around Brazil, he took us to the Valetudo gyms, he took us to the gyms, he took us with Matt, and I got to say, it was fucking, I got to say,
02:34:44.000 you see a different level of shit down there than you will see anywhere else.
02:34:48.000 These guys train like motherfuckers.
02:34:50.000 Do you hear this, Matt, and do you agree with this?
02:34:55.000 I was in the Marine Corps, the Iraq in 04. We walked into the favela.
02:35:01.000 We were in the complexion of the Alamal, which at the time was like the worst of the worst.
02:35:05.000 And we had to go ask the boss if we could come in here and film.
02:35:10.000 So the boss said, yeah, no problem.
02:35:12.000 Just don't film the kids with the guns.
02:35:14.000 And we're looking around.
02:35:17.000 We're like, what kids?
02:35:18.000 What guns?
02:35:18.000 We take a left turn down the street and I mean, it was just wall-to-wall 14-year-olds, 15-year-olds with, like, military-grade weapons.
02:35:30.000 I mean, you've got to picture the look.
02:35:32.000 It was, like, board shorts, flip-flops, you know, like a 1989 Luther Campbell, like, gold rope chain with a medallion, you know, side-to-side mount gold teeth, fucking, you know, collapsible stock M4 with an ACOG grenade launcher,
02:35:49.000 the whole nine.
02:35:50.000 I mean, these kids were armed to the fucking teeth.
02:35:54.000 And everyone that we went down there with was just looking around like, holy shit.
02:36:04.000 Listen, man.
02:36:06.000 You never end a story by saying, like, holy shit.
02:36:13.000 I understand you have a very good story.
02:36:16.000 I was with Matt.
02:36:17.000 However, you leave us confused.
02:36:18.000 I'm going to say this.
02:36:19.000 You at least can give us the respect of the end.
02:36:23.000 I was with Matt on that, and there was 14-year-old kids.
02:36:27.000 Hold on.
02:36:33.000 Don't lie to me, Matt.
02:36:35.000 Say yes.
02:36:38.000 Okay.
02:36:39.000 Listen, bro.
02:36:40.000 I feel what you're saying.
02:36:40.000 And I was only fucking around.
02:36:42.000 I was filling some dead space where we're trying to recalibrate our reality due to your circumstances and your story being paradigm shifting.
02:36:52.000 Joe, you're so fucked up.
02:36:53.000 I'm not that fucked up.
02:36:55.000 Listen, I want to tell you, Matt.
02:36:57.000 Matt, I'm giving you a shout out.
02:36:59.000 I love you.
02:37:00.000 This guy fucking is an awesome guy.
02:37:02.000 Ex-Marine and a fighter.
02:37:04.000 I love you, Matt.
02:37:05.000 Matt, I'm very sorry that you got dragged into a podcast.
02:37:10.000 It was just a phone call for you, and all of a sudden, Shane Smith talking about some crazy shit.
02:37:16.000 And you're like, God damn it.
02:37:18.000 I gotta tell the truth, because I'm Matt.
02:37:21.000 I'm Matt Ruskin, and I don't give a fuck.
02:37:24.000 But Daniel Gracie is a badass motherfucker.
02:37:26.000 Yes.
02:37:27.000 Unquestionably.
02:37:28.000 What is his real name, Matt?
02:37:31.000 What's that?
02:37:32.000 Daniel Gracie.
02:37:33.000 What is his real name?
02:37:39.000 And I completely...
02:37:41.000 By the way, I want to let everybody know.
02:37:43.000 There's no judgment involved in that whatsoever.
02:37:45.000 I completely understand why someone who especially was in a situation where they were a very talented guy and they were trying to maximize the The sort of the spread of their name as far as possible.
02:37:59.000 And the word Gracie, because of Hoyce and because of Horian and what they accomplished in UFC 1, it was one of the most important moments in the history of martial arts.
02:38:12.000 Would you agree, Matt?
02:38:16.000 For people who don't know the history of it or weren't there when it's happening as martial artists, it was one of the most important moments ever.
02:38:25.000 It's like all of a sudden we found out what really works, right?
02:38:30.000 And those guys...
02:38:32.000 That name, that Gracie name, that shit's like Q-tips or Kleenex, you know?
02:38:41.000 It's synonymous.
02:38:42.000 I don't give a fuck about your tissues.
02:38:43.000 If you have tissues made by Kraft macaroni and cheese, if they're right next to Kleenex, I'm taking the Kleenex.
02:38:51.000 Okay, because they dominate, as does the NFL. They dominate as well.
02:38:57.000 You know what I'm saying, Matt?
02:38:58.000 Jesus Christ, back me up.
02:39:00.000 I do, but in Daniel's defense, I gotta tell you, I think the name was given to him by Enzo and Hyatt.
02:39:06.000 100%.
02:39:07.000 Thank you, Matt.
02:39:08.000 Thank you.
02:39:08.000 In what way?
02:39:10.000 Like, Daniel was a...
02:39:13.000 When they all were fighting in pride, they told him to take the family name.
02:39:17.000 You know why?
02:39:18.000 Do you know why?
02:39:19.000 Do you know why?
02:39:23.000 Because they're smart motherfuckers.
02:39:25.000 Because they're smart motherfuckers, and they know how to make that paper, son.
02:39:34.000 Matt, don't freeze up on me now.
02:39:37.000 We're in the deep end of the pool, Matt.
02:39:40.000 My heart hurts.
02:39:40.000 And we're not close to the lip.
02:39:42.000 Hang in there.
02:39:44.000 Right, Matt?
02:39:48.000 Are you with me, buddy?
02:39:51.000 I'm sorry.
02:39:51.000 Listen, Matt.
02:39:52.000 I need to apologize to you as a human being.
02:39:54.000 You didn't know what the fuck was going on here.
02:39:56.000 You got dragged into this conversation.
02:39:59.000 Shane Smith calls you.
02:40:01.000 Where do you live, sir?
02:40:03.000 Don't tell me.
02:40:04.000 East Coast, West Coast, or Mountain Time?
02:40:08.000 East Coast.
02:40:09.000 East Coast.
02:40:10.000 Oh, dude.
02:40:10.000 It's late as fuck.
02:40:11.000 What I'm trying to say is Matt is an awesome dude.
02:40:16.000 Do you hear this, Matt?
02:40:21.000 Shane Smith just said, Matt is an awesome dude.
02:40:24.000 And Daniel Grace is an awesome dude.
02:40:28.000 And what they showed me was awesome.
02:40:29.000 We're not trying to discredit any of that.
02:40:31.000 We're not trying to discredit any of that, Matt.
02:40:33.000 You understand this, correct?
02:40:35.000 Joe, you want to do a shot?
02:40:36.000 No, not yet.
02:40:38.000 In three minutes.
02:40:39.000 Listen, what's important, Matt, is you understand that I respect and adore Daniel Gracie and anybody that gets in there.
02:40:47.000 I just think that if I could have been there when Henzo and all those other guys were trying to talk Daniel into using the last name Gracie...
02:40:57.000 Let's think this shit through.
02:41:00.000 Sorry.
02:41:01.000 Vanderlei Silva did pretty good with the name Silva.
02:41:04.000 Okay, okay, we're gonna be fine.
02:41:05.000 We don't need Gracie.
02:41:06.000 We're okay.
02:41:07.000 Are you Gracie?
02:41:08.000 Is your name Henzo?
02:41:09.000 It is.
02:41:10.000 Henzo, do you support this Daniel character?
02:41:12.000 Yeah, what the fuck difference does it make?
02:41:14.000 What noise you make with your mouth that represents his last name?
02:41:18.000 Are we cool?
02:41:19.000 Jesus Christ!
02:41:20.000 For the greater good of the humanity of the world, how about we forget about...
02:41:26.000 Imperial dictatorships and names that dominate sports history.
02:41:31.000 You feel me, Matt?
02:41:33.000 Did you know eating marijuana is different if you smoke it?
02:41:37.000 Hey, Matt!
02:41:37.000 Matt!
02:41:40.000 I'm sorry, dude.
02:41:41.000 This is so rude.
02:41:43.000 Tell Matt you love him.
02:41:44.000 I love you, Matt.
02:41:45.000 I'm so sad that I dragged you into this.
02:41:48.000 And even though I did it with no malice...
02:41:52.000 100%.
02:41:53.000 Matt Ruskin.
02:41:54.000 With jest.
02:41:54.000 Matt Ruskin.
02:41:55.000 I didn't do this to be mean.
02:41:57.000 I just did this because that's my nature.
02:42:00.000 I am the scorpion.
02:42:01.000 You are the frog.
02:42:03.000 This is how shit goes down.
02:42:04.000 I didn't mean to do this.
02:42:06.000 Matt Ruskin is a beautiful dude.
02:42:07.000 Hey, Matt Ruskin.
02:42:08.000 Will you do my podcast?
02:42:12.000 I would be happy to do your podcast.
02:42:14.000 Sir, I'd be honored if you would do my podcast.
02:42:16.000 Will you do it with Shane?
02:42:18.000 Yes.
02:42:21.000 The heavens have just opened up!
02:42:25.000 In a hot tub in San Diego with a dolphin?
02:42:27.000 No, stop it.
02:42:28.000 No dolphins and no shaman.
02:42:32.000 Ask him if he's ever experimented with a dolphin.
02:42:35.000 Matt.
02:42:39.000 Just tell him you love him.
02:42:42.000 Matt.
02:42:43.000 Have you ever watched a rodeo and felt sorry for the bulls?
02:42:48.000 Nothing.
02:42:49.000 Listen, Matt.
02:42:50.000 I love the fuck out of here, even though we've never met.
02:42:53.000 He's a good man.
02:42:55.000 If Shane Smith says you're a good man, you're a good man.
02:42:59.000 Do you feel me?
02:43:01.000 Alright, let's move.
02:43:04.000 Okay.
02:43:05.000 Jihad.
02:43:06.000 Hey, can we give a shout out to Green Mountain Grills?
02:43:09.000 Thanks, buddy.
02:43:10.000 I'm gonna go.
02:43:11.000 Green Mountain Grills are badass.
02:43:13.000 Yeah, I got one.
02:43:14.000 Matt Ruskin and Daniel Grace, you're a fucking great guy.
02:43:17.000 Did you cook on it yet?
02:43:18.000 I just want to give you a shout out, Matt.
02:43:19.000 I just had my first cookout.
02:43:21.000 That was one of the most, the least entertaining...
02:43:25.000 Dude, that broke my face.
02:43:28.000 That was one of the funniest shit things I've ever seen in my life.
02:43:32.000 My face hurts.
02:43:35.000 Tomorrow you're going to look at that video and you're going to be like...
02:43:37.000 Listen, I just typed Daniel Gracie into Wikipedia and I don't even remember doing it.
02:43:43.000 How about that?
02:43:44.000 You cracked me the fuck up.
02:43:45.000 How about that, huh?
02:43:47.000 Badass motherfucker, though.
02:43:48.000 And Hodger.
02:43:49.000 Hodger Gracie is one of the most...
02:43:51.000 The Gracie's full stop are badass motherfuckers.
02:43:54.000 Yeah, Hodger is fighting in the UFC, I believe.
02:43:57.000 I want to say he's fighting Tim Kennedy, but I'm not...
02:44:01.000 Hold on a second.
02:44:02.000 Let me pull that up.
02:44:04.000 What are you laughing at?
02:44:05.000 It's the funniest episode ever.
02:44:07.000 You know what?
02:44:08.000 I dragged this guy.
02:44:09.000 I met him online.
02:44:11.000 You know, can I say one thing?
02:44:13.000 Can I say one thing?
02:44:14.000 Yes, sir.
02:44:15.000 I'm pissed off.
02:44:16.000 Why?
02:44:16.000 Because I saw a tweet, because I follow you on Twitter, you fucker.
02:44:20.000 Yes.
02:44:21.000 Wait a minute.
02:44:22.000 And somebody was tweeting their shoes that they made with your design.
02:44:27.000 Yes.
02:44:27.000 I don't have those shoes.
02:44:31.000 That's Jill, who does the calendar for DeathSquad.tv.
02:44:35.000 If I don't get shoes with that design that I can wear every day, then I'm going to be pissed off.
02:44:43.000 Before you request these shoes, understand that Brian is in the middle of...
02:44:50.000 Number three.
02:44:51.000 That's like pooping and pissing out of your butt.
02:44:56.000 I don't even know what that fucking means.
02:44:58.000 Stop listening.
02:44:59.000 These are noises coming.
02:45:00.000 He panicked right now.
02:45:01.000 He's on cat number three.
02:45:04.000 Death Squad cat number one, who originally was my favorite.
02:45:08.000 That's the one over your right shoulder right there.
02:45:10.000 That's Death Squad cat number one.
02:45:12.000 But then once I fell in love with the Wendy's cat, and the second cat is my favorite.
02:45:17.000 Can I say one thing?
02:45:19.000 Tom Ford is making money off of doing these Baroque slippers with Baroque old things.
02:45:27.000 And I'm saying...
02:45:28.000 Oh, hold on.
02:45:28.000 What's Baroque?
02:45:29.000 Like, you know, tapestries...
02:45:31.000 I'm tired of hearing that word.
02:45:32.000 Tapestries from the 17th century.
02:45:35.000 He's taking tapestries, making slippers out of them, selling them for a thousand bucks.
02:45:38.000 I want a red fucking...
02:45:41.000 Man, fucking...
02:45:42.000 Shoe that I saw on Twitter and the fact that I don't have those shoes.
02:45:48.000 I don't have those shoes.
02:45:49.000 Are those Twinkies legit?
02:45:51.000 Because I want to wear those when I go to the Academy Awards.
02:45:54.000 Oh, wait a minute.
02:45:56.000 That's the last thing you want to do.
02:45:58.000 No, it's the right thing, Joe.
02:46:00.000 We've got to come to an agreement.
02:46:01.000 No Academy Awards, okay?
02:46:03.000 Okay.
02:46:04.000 Some awards.
02:46:07.000 The Death Star.
02:46:08.000 Death Squad.
02:46:09.000 Not the Death Squad, but the Death Star.
02:46:12.000 If I don't get a pair of those shoes, I'm fucking pissed off.
02:46:15.000 Okay, we need new shoes.
02:46:16.000 We need a left eye and a right eye.
02:46:20.000 I want slippers that he has designed and made, otherwise I'm fucking pissed off.
02:46:24.000 Listen, Brian does not have any time to design and make slippers.
02:46:28.000 He does, because I see them on Twitter.
02:46:30.000 No, I didn't make Listen, Brian and I have been working together for at least, what, a decade now?
02:46:35.000 2003?
02:46:36.000 A decade?
02:46:36.000 Those are badass shoes.
02:46:38.000 Badass.
02:46:38.000 Oh, no.
02:46:39.000 Badass.
02:46:40.000 By the way, I want them, but I want them more plushy.
02:46:42.000 No doubt about it.
02:46:43.000 Made out of sort of...
02:46:44.000 How long have we been working together for?
02:46:47.000 Ten years.
02:46:48.000 Okay.
02:46:48.000 This is the most important thing with Brian.
02:46:51.000 You can't tell Brian what to do.
02:46:53.000 You can't let Brian...
02:46:55.000 I want those shoes.
02:46:55.000 You can't put any pressure on him.
02:46:56.000 You can tell them, look, at least a couple of days a week you have to show up and do this.
02:47:01.000 But other than that, you've got to leave him alone.
02:47:03.000 I will fight...
02:47:04.000 That's the only way these hypnotic cats get discovered.
02:47:07.000 I will fight...
02:47:08.000 Because you're not going to come with that shit if you live in a fucking cubicle and you're panicking, taking Adderall all day to get through your workload.
02:47:17.000 I will fight Hoist Gracie if I can have a pair of those shoes.
02:47:21.000 You say that.
02:47:22.000 I need those shoes.
02:47:23.000 No one has ever gotten you into a proper rear naked choke.
02:47:26.000 If you really felt the fucking pecs and the spine.
02:47:31.000 If you choked me, you would win in 3.2 seconds.
02:47:37.000 But I would be wearing the shoes.
02:47:40.000 That's what I need.
02:47:41.000 Well, you'd win.
02:47:42.000 It's not about winning.
02:47:44.000 I concede, but I want the shoes.
02:47:46.000 I don't even know how we got to this point.
02:47:48.000 I don't know either.
02:47:48.000 What I'm telling you is...
02:47:49.000 We've gotten off track.
02:47:50.000 The kid's on his way to...
02:47:52.000 Well, by the way, fuck that.
02:47:54.000 Your shoes are amazing.
02:47:55.000 Your designs are amazing.
02:47:56.000 It's not his shoes!
02:47:57.000 I know I said this last time!
02:47:58.000 This is what I'm telling you!
02:47:59.000 I said it last time.
02:48:00.000 Your fucking designs are good.
02:48:02.000 I want those fucking shoes.
02:48:04.000 I understand what you're saying, but what you need to understand is the next cat is going to be on the next level.
02:48:09.000 No, why are you putting the pressure on me?
02:48:11.000 Are you going to be looking at the other cats and be like, fuck those slippers!
02:48:15.000 Death Squad!
02:48:18.000 Shoes!
02:48:20.000 I fucking want them!
02:48:22.000 Chocolate-filled Twinkies.
02:48:23.000 We're not fucking around.
02:48:25.000 By the way, your fucking spine is bulging.
02:48:28.000 You're eating a fucking Twinkie.
02:48:30.000 I'm allowed to have some fucking shoes.
02:48:31.000 That's an old Twinkie, Joe.
02:48:34.000 Stop.
02:48:35.000 It's a chocolate.
02:48:36.000 They don't even make that anymore.
02:48:37.000 It tastes a lot like the shit you put in your tire when you want to fix a flat.
02:48:40.000 That expired a long time ago.
02:48:43.000 Cockroaches and Twinkies are the only things that will survive the apocalypse.
02:48:46.000 What do you mean expired?
02:48:47.000 You're getting ready.
02:48:48.000 You're getting ready.
02:48:49.000 You're fucking getting your Twinkies ready.
02:48:51.000 But I want my shoes ready.
02:48:52.000 As the fucking bomb goes off, I'm going to be looking good!
02:48:55.000 For anyone right now collecting their thoughts and gathering their finances on their way to the bank, on their way to financing their very first yoga studio, I want you to know, I know this podcast doesn't represent how you feel right now.
02:49:15.000 When you're...
02:49:16.000 When you're in that train and you're thinking to yourself as you make the connection to the bus on your way to work, I don't want to be that guy!
02:49:26.000 I don't want to be out of control, worrying about asteroids with intestinal viruses that look like fucking aliens grown inside my shit tract!
02:49:38.000 I don't want to be that guy!
02:49:41.000 How?
02:49:42.000 How does this help me?
02:49:44.000 The squad.
02:49:45.000 This helps me.
02:49:46.000 The squad makes me look good.
02:49:48.000 Because this helps all of us.
02:49:50.000 Because we need all of the information about all of the possible realities of all of the human beings existing in this world.
02:50:07.000 Can I say one thing?
02:50:09.000 Let me say whatever the fuck you want.
02:50:11.000 Joe Rogan, Taekwondo motherfucker, the voice of the MMA. How drunk are you?
02:50:19.000 Fear Factor.
02:50:20.000 Fear Factor.
02:50:21.000 Fear Factor.
02:50:23.000 And fashion fucking mogul.
02:50:28.000 Because unless I get those goddamn fucking shoes.
02:50:33.000 There's going to be things going to be happening.
02:50:34.000 We're going to get those shoes, and we're going to find this gal who made those shoes, and we're going to ask Jill Himitsu, that girl?
02:50:41.000 Yeah.
02:50:41.000 See, I know about my super fans.
02:50:43.000 I will say one last thing, because this podcast has been going on for 800 hours.
02:50:48.000 So what?
02:50:48.000 But I will say this.
02:50:49.000 We got a show in 20 minutes.
02:50:51.000 How about fucking Joe Rogan?
02:50:52.000 Joe Rogan, fucking shut up.
02:50:55.000 Between Fear Factor and your UFC shit and all your other shit, but the fucking podcast that you do, and by the way, I'm sitting here in a room with 700 cameras that Red Band has set up.
02:51:05.000 I'm sitting here doing podcasts with you.
02:51:08.000 The fact that you do these podcasts and you finance these podcasts and you do these podcasts, I've got to say, I fucking hand it to you, my friend.
02:51:15.000 I fucking hand it to you.
02:51:17.000 This all means nothing.
02:51:18.000 Listen, let me explain this to you.
02:51:20.000 Shut it.
02:51:20.000 Let me explain this to you.
02:51:21.000 Hey, how about this?
02:51:22.000 How about this?
02:51:23.000 You were in my position.
02:51:25.000 You would also know it.
02:51:26.000 How about this?
02:51:26.000 Take it.
02:51:28.000 How about this?
02:51:30.000 You got to take it.
02:51:30.000 You got it?
02:51:31.000 If I say you're fucking awesome, you have to fucking take it.
02:51:34.000 I understand, sweetie pie.
02:51:35.000 But here's the problem with that.
02:51:37.000 You can never believe you.
02:51:39.000 If you start talking to me in these crazy superlatives and tell me how awesome I am, I'm like, this guy's basically full of shit.
02:51:46.000 Okay, and I'm going to tell you the truth.
02:51:48.000 I'm going to tell you the truth.
02:51:50.000 If you believe it, lock it up and throw it in a dark place in the back of your mind.
02:51:56.000 No, now see, this is going to be me and you in the back alley.
02:51:59.000 But I'm going to tell you the truth is, you don't have to do this fucking podcast.
02:52:03.000 You don't have to fucking sit here and deal with shitheads like me.
02:52:06.000 But I will tell you one thing.
02:52:07.000 That's when you're wrong, sir, because that fear factor money comes at a price.
02:52:11.000 It's a mental mortgage I'm paying off.
02:52:15.000 Us talking about this shit is because you fucking paid for this fucking room with all the cameras and the fucking microphones and all the shit.
02:52:23.000 I did not pay for this room.
02:52:24.000 This is mostly Brian's.
02:52:25.000 The only thing I paid for was the microphones.
02:52:29.000 My iMac.
02:52:30.000 I bought that iMac.
02:52:32.000 I bought the mics.
02:52:33.000 I give kudos to you, and if you don't take it, then I'm going to put this pen up your arse.
02:52:42.000 Normally, I would say thank you very much.
02:52:45.000 Why do I get shit if I'm not allowed to give you a compliment?
02:52:49.000 No, no, no.
02:52:50.000 You're absolutely allowed to, but I have to tell you that in this particular situation, since we're at the Ice House, this was 99% Brian's work.
02:52:59.000 Which I give him fucking straight up kudos.
02:53:01.000 Well, I'm trying to fucking buy fucking footwear off him.
02:53:04.000 He won't give it to me.
02:53:05.000 No, no, no.
02:53:05.000 He's not selling the footwork.
02:53:07.000 But what I'm saying is that...
02:53:09.000 I don't have anything to do with it.
02:53:10.000 Although he is...
02:53:11.000 I gave permission to make it.
02:53:13.000 It's a very strange situation.
02:53:15.000 Brian and I have been friends and employees.
02:53:17.000 And I try to distance myself from the employee aspect as much as possible.
02:53:22.000 But he really created this whole room.
02:53:24.000 He decorated it.
02:53:26.000 He's a smart motherfucker.
02:53:28.000 Our friend Brendan gave us that picture.
02:53:32.000 I asked him to put that up.
02:53:34.000 And that's it.
02:53:35.000 Other than that, it's all Brian's creation.
02:53:37.000 But you don't have to do these podcasts, and the fact that you do these podcasts, the fact that you have Anthony Bourdain, and the fact that you have me, the fact that you have all these people on, that is something special.
02:53:47.000 And I know we always get to this at the end of it, but I've got to say, what you're doing with Brian and with yourself, come on now.
02:53:55.000 At least accept the fact that that's an important fucking motherfucking thing.
02:53:58.000 And by the way, if you don't accept it, I will do something bad with this thing.
02:54:02.000 Listen, I have a problem, I got a t-shirt on, I got my keys and my knuckles, and I'm ready to fucking party.
02:54:10.000 I'm telling you, you're asking me to take the Kool-Aid and to fucking brush my teeth with it, but not swallow it.
02:54:18.000 Joe Rogan, ladies and gentlemen!
02:54:19.000 I'm not interested!
02:54:19.000 Joe Rogan!
02:54:20.000 Even though my gums have lacerations on them that would allow the sacred liquid from the Kool-Aid to get into my bloodstream, I'm not willing.
02:54:30.000 I'm not willing.
02:54:30.000 I want everyone in the Joe Rogan universe to tweet the motherfucker out of him because Joe Rogan is the fucking man.
02:54:36.000 Shut up!
02:54:37.000 Where does this look from?
02:54:38.000 Alcohol.
02:54:39.000 There's a lot of douchebags that are me 20 years from now.
02:54:42.000 They're going, fuck that guy.
02:54:44.000 The reality.
02:54:45.000 I'm going to say I like Joe Rogan.
02:54:47.000 I like Red Band.
02:54:48.000 Death Squad.
02:54:50.000 Powerful.
02:54:50.000 I love all you guys.
02:54:52.000 I love you.
02:54:52.000 Are we almost three hours in?
02:54:54.000 Yeah, five minutes.
02:54:55.000 Listen, Shane, you're a bad motherfucker.
02:54:57.000 Fuck you.
02:54:58.000 I got to tell you.
02:55:00.000 This is a very, very unusual podcast, but all podcasts with you.
02:55:04.000 I think it's my favorite one of all time.
02:55:05.000 Yeah, it might be up there.
02:55:07.000 It's probably number one.
02:55:09.000 My only weird thing about this is we only have real meaningful conversations with headphones and microphones.
02:55:16.000 And hold on, I'm going to tell you this.
02:55:18.000 You guys, like, I seriously respect what the fuck you're doing.
02:55:23.000 And there are people out there in the fucking world that are listening here.
02:55:27.000 And I got to say...
02:55:28.000 I'm fucking stoked to be here.
02:55:30.000 And so, if it's you, and I'm...
02:55:32.000 Nobody can see me, or maybe you can't see me.
02:55:35.000 I'm pointing at you, Redman.
02:55:36.000 If it's you, then fucking thank you very much.
02:55:39.000 Because, you know what?
02:55:40.000 My favorite thing to do, my favorite press ever...
02:55:43.000 Like, I have to do press all the time.
02:55:45.000 And by the way, you don't even know what the fuck I'm talking about, because...
02:55:49.000 Vice sent fucking Dennis Rodman to fucking North Korea.
02:55:53.000 We have the fucking only interviews with Kim Jong-il.
02:55:57.000 We have like number one fucking shit that ABC, CBS, NBC, everybody fucking wants.
02:56:03.000 You know where I come?
02:56:04.000 I come to the Joe fucking Rogan podcast and I'll tell you why.
02:56:08.000 Because those are the only fucking people I give a shit about.
02:56:12.000 And that's why I'm here.
02:56:13.000 I love you fucking guys.
02:56:15.000 And by the way, if that's your fucking shit, Red Band, great.
02:56:18.000 And by the way, you don't have to...
02:56:19.000 Look at your shoes, man.
02:56:20.000 And by the way...
02:56:20.000 Well, it's not him, it's not me, it's not...
02:56:23.000 It's all...
02:56:24.000 It's everybody.
02:56:24.000 By the way, you don't have to do this, and you do it, and I gotta say...
02:56:28.000 I fucking love you guys, and I love what you do, and you can tell me to fuck off if you want.
02:56:32.000 No, shut up!
02:56:33.000 Listen, we love you too, man.
02:56:35.000 There's no need for anybody to take any extra recognition for what the fuck is going on.
02:56:40.000 I'm not talking about right now.
02:56:40.000 No, no, no, no, no.
02:56:41.000 I know you're not.
02:56:42.000 I know you're not.
02:56:43.000 What you're trying to do is what any cool person tries to do, is you're trying to spread the love as far as possible to as many people as possible.
02:56:51.000 The people that listen to this fucking podcast...
02:56:54.000 Are the people that I give a shit about.
02:56:56.000 And I don't give a shit about...
02:56:58.000 Well, there's people that you give a shit about that don't listen to this because they don't know about it.
02:57:01.000 But the reality is that the ethic of what Brian is trying to put forth and what I am, and unquestionably, without a shadow of a doubt in my heart, what you're trying to put forward...
02:57:15.000 It is what resonates with a lot of the people that are sort of waking up in the middle of history and looking at this crazy world that is handicapped and sidetracked and hobbled by these ancient traditions that were written back when people couldn't even fly fucking planes and didn't even have printed type and there was no internet and unfortunately this Distribution of information is far more
02:57:46.000 swift than the absorption of it amongst the people and the altercation or the changing of the culture because of that information.
02:57:54.000 And you're at the front of the line of that.
02:57:55.000 Let me tell you, you're in the front of the line.
02:57:58.000 Nonsense!
02:57:58.000 Shut it!
02:57:59.000 You have sent people to Alaska!
02:58:06.000 I have done none of this!
02:58:12.000 I put Brian on Brewcross.
02:58:13.000 What is it?
02:58:14.000 Brewcross?
02:58:14.000 Brewshield?
02:58:16.000 It's free dental.
02:58:17.000 I'm going to tell you, if we can finish with this one last thought.
02:58:20.000 If I can finish with this one last thought.
02:58:22.000 What is this one last thought?
02:58:24.000 Why do I need to wrap it up?
02:58:26.000 Can't we just say Abba Dabba Shabba Gazoo Snowflake?
02:58:31.000 Let's hear what this thought is.
02:58:32.000 Maybe it's about fucking dolphins.
02:58:33.000 You're right.
02:58:34.000 Alright.
02:58:35.000 Fuck the dolphins.
02:58:36.000 I love the dolphins.
02:58:38.000 I don't give a shit what you say.
02:58:39.000 I love dolphins.
02:58:39.000 Team people.
02:58:39.000 Am I right?
02:58:40.000 Team people?
02:58:41.000 Team people.
02:58:42.000 Team people, goddammit.
02:58:43.000 Can I say one thing?
02:58:44.000 I love all you bitches and everyone who's listening to this.
02:58:48.000 Joe fucking Rogan.
02:58:49.000 Death Squad.
02:58:50.000 Brian fucking Redman.
02:58:52.000 Fuck all y'all.
02:58:53.000 Shane Smith.
02:58:54.000 Tom Segura.
02:58:55.000 Ari Shafir.
02:58:56.000 Joey Coco Diaz.
02:58:57.000 Duncan Trussell.
02:58:59.000 Duncan Trussell.
02:59:00.000 Suck it!
02:59:03.000 2012. Oh, whoops!
02:59:05.000 I guess that shit didn't happen, did it?
02:59:07.000 December 21st.
02:59:08.000 Daniel Pinchback, where the fuck were you with an apology and an explanation?
02:59:15.000 Where were you?
02:59:16.000 To let people know, I want to apologize to Frankie Boyle.
02:59:19.000 I got into a Twitter altercation with him this weekend.
02:59:23.000 And I just want to let you know, Frankie, you're retarded.
02:59:28.000 I'm retarded.
02:59:29.000 We're all retarded.
02:59:31.000 It's okay, boo.
02:59:33.000 Just stop fronting.
02:59:35.000 Just stop fronting, alright?
02:59:37.000 Keep it together, bitch.
02:59:39.000 Shane Smith, 2013. The Soviets say that an asteroid's coming in 93 years.
02:59:46.000 I won't be here to see it.
02:59:47.000 Holla!
02:59:49.000 See you next week.
03:00:05.000 Oh!