The Joe Rogan Experience - April 15, 2013


Joe Rogan Experience #348 - Steven Rinella, Bryan Callen, Cam Edwards


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 54 minutes

Words per Minute

194.50447

Word Count

33,954

Sentence Count

3,099

Misogynist Sentences

87

Hate Speech Sentences

63


Summary

On this week's episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast, Joe and his co-host Ryan sit down with a very special guest to talk about cell phone companies and why they should be cool. They also talk about the new Samsung Galaxy Note 2, and how much better it is than an iPhone. Also, the guys talk about a guy who was sleeping in his car for the entire weekend, and the weirdest thing he did to get there. Joe also talks about a girl band called Hot Girls Do Things, and why he thinks they should just be in bikinis. And, of course, there's a new segment called "Dirty Bitches Do Things," which is about hot girls doing stupid things. You won't want to miss it! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Thank you to our sponsor Ting for sponsoring this episode. Go to ting.me/TheJoeRoganExperience to get 10% off your first month with discount code JOGANEXPERIENCODE. We're also getting a $25 credit when you use the promo code JOEROGANEVERYTHING when you purchase a new cell phone or tablet from Ting. Thanks to Onnit for sponsoring the show! Joesphine Rinella for the cover art by and the amazing work of by . & the amazing . We hope you enjoy this episode, and we hope you all have a great rest of the episode! Joe Rogans podcast, and that you enjoy it and keep listening to the next one! -Joe Rogan's back next week! XOXO, Joe and Ryan Rogan. - - Ronna, Rene, Steve, Rinell, and Ryan, Rynald, and Thanks, - Joe, Roddy, and Rene. , , and Ronna. Rynn, Ronna Rene and Rynne, , Rynna, and Ting, Rino, and . . , & , Steve, & Rynnon, Joe, . , and , Joe, and Gorms, Jake, and Robynn. -- JOSEPH, and Sarah,


Transcript

00:00:02.000 Hey, you dirty bitches.
00:00:07.000 And we're back.
00:00:09.000 This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by Ting.
00:00:13.000 Ting is a mobile phone company that we've talked about on this podcast many a time.
00:00:19.000 Because they're one of my favorite sponsors.
00:00:22.000 Because you would think, like, if you look for something cool, you'd say, well, you know, maybe like...
00:00:26.000 A company that sells paintings is cool or a company that makes sculptures is cool.
00:00:32.000 But you don't think of cell phone companies as being cool.
00:00:36.000 They're just cell phone companies.
00:00:38.000 But when a cell phone company goes out of their way to give you a service that, first of all, it's a better deal.
00:00:47.000 It feels more ethical from a business standpoint.
00:00:51.000 They allow you to cancel your contract at any time.
00:00:53.000 They credit you on unused service, which I've never heard of before.
00:00:57.000 If you use less than you thought you would, Ting actually drops you down and they credit you the difference on your next bill.
00:01:05.000 They drop you down to the next level, like whatever you actually did use.
00:01:09.000 I've gotten so many Twitter messages from people that tell me that they're saving money every month since they switched over.
00:01:14.000 Like one dude was spending like 90 something dollars on another cell phone company and he said he brought it down to 18. Now that's fucking insane.
00:01:22.000 I don't know what his use was like but if he's telling the truth, if he's not just some crazy troll making shit up, I cannot verify or deny.
00:01:30.000 I bet he was, like, on an iPhone, barely using it on a Verizon plan, and then he switched down to, like, a Galaxy S3. You know what I mean?
00:01:36.000 Could be, yeah.
00:01:38.000 Those iPhones cost a lot of money.
00:01:40.000 Did you look at the Mega yet?
00:01:41.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:01:42.000 What the fuck?
00:01:42.000 We looked at it last week.
00:01:43.000 But did you take a look at it?
00:01:45.000 Oh, no, no, no.
00:01:45.000 You fucked with it?
00:01:46.000 No.
00:01:46.000 Or investigated?
00:01:47.000 No.
00:01:48.000 Yeah, apparently they're going to do two of them.
00:01:51.000 Whatever.
00:01:51.000 What they have, the Samsung Galaxy Note 2, is amazing.
00:01:56.000 If you want a giant phone, you really don't need anything more giant than that, I don't think.
00:02:00.000 I never thought you would need one this giant.
00:02:02.000 But they have it at Ting.
00:02:04.000 They also allow you to combine your service, so you and your wife, you and your friend, whoever, you can share a bill and split time.
00:02:13.000 Go to rogan.ting.com and save $25 off either service or one of their phones.
00:02:18.000 We're also brought to you by Hover.
00:02:20.000 Hover is the internet domain name company that's actually owned by the same people that own Ting, and they have the same sort of attitude about it.
00:02:27.000 And it's an excellent service.
00:02:29.000 A service that I personally have used.
00:02:31.000 If you use it, you can get things that most domain name companies will charge you for.
00:02:38.000 They give it to you for free.
00:02:39.000 Like, who is domain name privacy?
00:02:41.000 Or, you know, if you want to register DickPartyInMyMouth.com Hey!
00:02:48.000 DickPartyInMyMouth!
00:02:49.000 Do you think there's one in that?
00:02:50.000 Let's go look for that.
00:02:52.000 DickPartyInMyMouth!
00:02:53.000 DickParty!
00:02:55.000 Dick party in my mouth.
00:02:57.000 I just registered hot girls do things.
00:03:00.000 What kind of things are you thinking?
00:03:02.000 I shot a bunch of videos with hot girls doing things like hot girls step on meat.
00:03:07.000 Just doing random stuff.
00:03:08.000 Hot girls step on meat?
00:03:09.000 Yeah, and they just saw these girls in high heels stepping on meat.
00:03:13.000 They wanted to raise money for this web series, this girl band.
00:03:16.000 And I was like, you guys should just be in bikinis doing stupid things like hot girls.
00:03:21.000 Hot girls scold the shit out of me.
00:03:25.000 And they're just doing all kinds of random stuff.
00:03:27.000 It's gonna be good.
00:03:28.000 What's the promotional code?
00:03:29.000 Go to Hover.com forward slash Rogan and you can get 10% off your domain name registrations.
00:03:34.000 They're a cool company.
00:03:35.000 They support the podcast.
00:03:36.000 We support them.
00:03:37.000 So please, go get yourself some, son.
00:03:41.000 We're also brought to you by Onnit.com.
00:03:43.000 That's O-N-N-I-T. Powerful Steve Rinella is here, ladies and gentlemen.
00:03:49.000 Look at him.
00:03:49.000 I figured we'd get the ads out of the way before you got here, not to bore you.
00:03:53.000 Wrap around sunglasses.
00:03:53.000 You sexy savage, you.
00:03:55.000 Goddamn.
00:03:55.000 Please have a seat.
00:03:56.000 He's got big hands, doesn't he?
00:03:57.000 He's an animal.
00:03:58.000 Look at him.
00:03:58.000 Goddamn manly, man.
00:03:59.000 I watched him hike this weekend.
00:04:01.000 I watched the whole episode.
00:04:02.000 They shot nothing.
00:04:03.000 They hiked in Montana for days.
00:04:05.000 Freezing cold.
00:04:07.000 Yeah, Dan Doty was sleeping outside.
00:04:08.000 It was a terrifying episode.
00:04:10.000 You were there now?
00:04:11.000 Dude, they were there in November before Thanksgiving.
00:04:14.000 Dan Doty slept outside.
00:04:16.000 No tent.
00:04:17.000 You're crazy.
00:04:18.000 Let me get through this ad real quick.
00:04:20.000 If you go to Onnit.com, there's a whole bunch of new shit that's been added to Onnit, especially in the strength and conditioning department.
00:04:28.000 We started this new company called Primal Bells.
00:04:31.000 The first one is this chimpanzee that looks like he's biting your dick off.
00:04:35.000 That's what I like to think of when I'm working out.
00:04:38.000 That's what I'm trying to avoid.
00:04:41.000 We've got more coming.
00:04:42.000 We've got this badass gorilla coming.
00:04:44.000 I don't want to tell you all of them, but there's a lot of really cool ones coming out.
00:04:49.000 Essentially, it's art.
00:04:50.000 We're hiring people to sculpt these things, these ideas that we have.
00:04:54.000 And we're getting people that work in the special effects companies, the ones that do shit for movies.
00:04:59.000 I think those chimpanzee ones are.
00:05:01.000 It's amazing.
00:05:01.000 I'm a little obsessed.
00:05:02.000 It's amazing.
00:05:02.000 By the way, for you people in French, it's pronounced chimpanzee.
00:05:05.000 Chimpanzee.
00:05:06.000 Keep going.
00:05:06.000 The chimpanzee.
00:05:07.000 C'est le chimpanzee qu'est le bel.
00:05:09.000 Get in there, son.
00:05:10.000 Get in there.
00:05:11.000 There's no meat in those bundt cakes, brother.
00:05:13.000 It's all right.
00:05:13.000 There's something had to die to make butter, I think.
00:05:16.000 Mm-hmm.
00:05:17.000 Go to O-N-N-I-T and if you use the code name Rogan, you will save 10% off any of the supplements, including Alpha Brain, Shroom Tech, all the groovy shit that we talk about on the podcast all the time.
00:05:30.000 There is always new shit and interesting shit that we sell.
00:05:37.000 Every time we find out anything cool on the web, like Blendtec blenders, or when we found out about Bulletproof Coffee, according to Dave Asprey, a lot of coffee that you're getting has fungus on it, mycotoxins, and you don't get the same experience from drinking that as you do from drinking coffee that's fungus-free.
00:05:57.000 He believes it's way less wearing on your system He thinks a lot of the crash that people associate with drinking coffee is actually your body reacting to the mycotoxins.
00:06:07.000 And that regular, good, clean coffee, like what he sells is called bulletproof, upgraded coffee, is mycotoxin-free.
00:06:15.000 So you're drinking right now.
00:06:17.000 Are you saying myco or myco?
00:06:18.000 Myco.
00:06:19.000 Mycotoxins.
00:06:20.000 They're tiny little fungi that grow all over coffee, apparently.
00:06:24.000 Have you ever seen that show, Dangerous Grinds?
00:06:26.000 No.
00:06:26.000 Or Deadliest, whatever the fuck it was called.
00:06:29.000 It was a guy would go all over, dangerous grounds.
00:06:32.000 A guy would go all over the country to really exotic places where they would make coffee, where they would grow coffee.
00:06:38.000 You know, there's a lot of coffees growing in like Guatemala.
00:06:41.000 Rwanda.
00:06:42.000 And Kona, some of the best, is in Hawaii.
00:06:46.000 But these, you know, it requires like a specific climate.
00:06:49.000 And this guy would go there and he said one of the real issues is a lot of this stuff gets toxic.
00:06:53.000 It gets mold grows on it.
00:06:55.000 And if you drink that, you're drinking like mulled soup.
00:06:58.000 That's really interesting.
00:06:59.000 Totally makes sense.
00:07:00.000 Totally makes sense and it's something nobody ever thought about before.
00:07:02.000 But Dave Asprey thought about it and we were like, let's sell Dave Asprey's shit.
00:07:07.000 Let's sell Bulletproof Coffee.
00:07:08.000 How does he keep it from being mulled?
00:07:10.000 They get it from a single source.
00:07:12.000 One company takes care of it from the moment the plant is grown.
00:07:16.000 It's all about putting it in the correct environment and making sure that it doesn't have access or exposure to any of these funguses.
00:07:24.000 So we sell all that shit at Onnit.
00:07:26.000 Go to Onnit.
00:07:26.000 Oh, N-N-I-T. Use a code named Rogan.
00:07:28.000 And go fuck yourself.
00:07:30.000 All right.
00:07:31.000 Stephen Nell's here.
00:07:32.000 Brian Count's here.
00:07:33.000 Let's get freaky.
00:07:34.000 Hit the music, Brian.
00:07:36.000 Joe Rogan, he is the best.
00:07:39.000 It's Joe Rogan.
00:07:40.000 Do you not know how to do it?
00:07:41.000 He is a man.
00:07:43.000 Brian already forgot.
00:07:43.000 Oh, I know what he's doing.
00:07:45.000 He's going to put the silly one on.
00:07:47.000 No, I just forgot to do it.
00:07:49.000 Do you have the silly one?
00:07:51.000 No.
00:07:53.000 That's all right.
00:07:53.000 We just played that one a couple of days ago.
00:07:58.000 Mr. Ronella.
00:07:59.000 What's going on?
00:07:59.000 What's up, brother?
00:08:00.000 How are you, man?
00:08:01.000 Good to see you again.
00:08:01.000 Good to be back.
00:08:02.000 Where's my bear me?
00:08:03.000 You know, we have all gone through a very unique and spectacular experience together.
00:08:10.000 Yes, we have.
00:08:11.000 You do it on a regular basis.
00:08:13.000 But all of us, like, doing that together, I'll never forget that.
00:08:16.000 I'll never forget that trip for the rest of my life.
00:08:18.000 We had a great fucking time.
00:08:19.000 I watched the episodes twice now.
00:08:21.000 Really?
00:08:22.000 And I love them, and I thought it was shot really well.
00:08:24.000 I thought the music was amazing.
00:08:25.000 I thought it was amazing.
00:08:26.000 It turns into Blood Brothers.
00:08:28.000 Yeah.
00:08:29.000 To be out in the field, man.
00:08:30.000 No doubt.
00:08:31.000 Yeah, it's totally different.
00:08:32.000 Yeah, and to see how people respond, too, to, like, waking up in the fucking freezing cold and, you know, nobody bitched out.
00:08:39.000 Everybody kept it together.
00:08:40.000 No way.
00:08:40.000 That's important.
00:08:41.000 You could take some fucking Seth Green type characters with you on the road.
00:08:45.000 Sorry, Seth Green.
00:08:46.000 I don't know why I picked on you.
00:08:48.000 How about me?
00:08:49.000 How about Joe Rogan type character?
00:08:49.000 Well, that doesn't make sense because I did it.
00:08:51.000 But I mean, there's a lot of people out there.
00:08:53.000 Sorry, Seth.
00:08:54.000 I have no reason to take shots at you.
00:08:56.000 I'm just playing.
00:08:56.000 Did I tell you what the anthropologists did?
00:08:58.000 They did that study about how men who show up in a bar all done up in jewelry and Yeah.
00:09:19.000 And they mainly don't want to bring attention to themselves.
00:09:22.000 Like you don't see a guy, unless you're wearing an Ed Retardi shirt, but you know, those guys are usually jacked and ready.
00:09:27.000 But for the most part, men will wear things that are like, you know, blues and grays and, you know, simple stuff.
00:09:33.000 Because this anthropologist was talking about the idea that if you, it goes back to how men used to hunt in groups.
00:09:40.000 And if a man, if you guys were all set and we're going to go hunting and all of a sudden I show up in a bunch of sparkly shit and bangles that are making a bunch of noise, you guys are going to be like, you're going to spook the fucking deer.
00:09:49.000 They can see it a mile away and you're making like, but I like these.
00:09:53.000 I don't buy this.
00:09:55.000 No?
00:09:56.000 You're getting shut down, son.
00:09:57.000 I want to hear your point of view on it.
00:09:59.000 Because look at how...
00:10:00.000 I mean, look at the way that a lot of indigenous hunters today still adorn themselves.
00:10:05.000 Yes, but they don't...
00:10:06.000 Not when they go hunting, though, right?
00:10:09.000 Isn't that for traditional dancing stuff, but not...
00:10:12.000 No, like, you might go to hunt or go into battle with, like, face paint or elaborate jewelry, or there's so many accounts of, like...
00:10:20.000 Comanche who would wear wedding veils and stuff that they gathered during raids and just crazy clothes.
00:10:27.000 Well, I would always wear a wedding veil.
00:10:29.000 I think that's important.
00:10:29.000 Wedding veils.
00:10:30.000 I don't want the deer to see my expression change.
00:10:32.000 But you know what?
00:10:33.000 But your thing that I contested, and I don't mean to act like I'm the final Santa, but it reminds me of something similar that's equally interesting.
00:10:43.000 And it's that like...
00:10:44.000 I was reading this book on human evolution, and he was arguing, like, how could it ever be beneficial to be a daredevil?
00:10:51.000 Right.
00:10:52.000 To be like, what is the selective advantage to being a daredevil?
00:10:56.000 And this guy argues that it's your saying to, a man is saying to females, you're like, I'm so ridiculously fit, you know, that I can do something so stupid And still thrive.
00:11:11.000 And still breed you.
00:11:13.000 That's how fit I am.
00:11:14.000 When you get to shit like wingsuits.
00:11:18.000 How about fighting bulls?
00:11:19.000 I don't think men would fight bulls.
00:11:21.000 Yeah, but fighting bulls is kind of a scam.
00:11:23.000 Because there's a lot of other dudes involved.
00:11:25.000 It's not just a matador in the bull.
00:11:27.000 There's other dudes stabbing the bull.
00:11:29.000 They put poison darts into the bull.
00:11:31.000 They do a lot of creepy shit.
00:11:32.000 Is that right?
00:11:34.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:11:35.000 There's other dudes that stab the bull.
00:11:37.000 Yeah, the piccadillas.
00:11:38.000 Yeah, but when you're in a fucking wingsuit, you're in a wingsuit, okay?
00:11:42.000 Those crazy assholes that jump off those mountains, and they're going 100 miles an hour in those suits, have you seen them fly through cities, like through the middle of buildings?
00:11:51.000 No.
00:11:51.000 Dude, there's a guy, he jumps out of a plane in fucking Brazil, okay?
00:11:56.000 Jumps out of a plane, and does this wingsuit shit, and goes flying over the city...
00:12:02.000 Through buildings.
00:12:03.000 There's a gap in between these two buildings and he shoots through these two buildings before he pulls his parachute and lands.
00:12:09.000 Is he flapping?
00:12:10.000 No, he's soaring.
00:12:11.000 He's just gliding.
00:12:13.000 It hurts your head when you're watching it.
00:12:16.000 You're like, shit, what is he gonna do?
00:12:18.000 You're gonna die, yeah.
00:12:20.000 How much can you really totally control it?
00:12:22.000 I don't know.
00:12:23.000 I mean, I don't know how much you can really steer it.
00:12:25.000 But this guy, there you can see him.
00:12:28.000 Look at this.
00:12:29.000 Are you kidding?
00:12:31.000 Yeah, that's him.
00:12:32.000 It's him in the wingsuit.
00:12:33.000 This is the camera.
00:12:35.000 And look at that.
00:12:35.000 He flew.
00:12:36.000 Oh, my God!
00:12:37.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:12:39.000 No!
00:12:39.000 Yeah, look at this.
00:12:40.000 Are you kidding me?
00:12:41.000 By the way, it was Misty.
00:12:43.000 Okay, it was...
00:12:44.000 Oh, that guy's a badass.
00:12:49.000 Look at that.
00:12:58.000 Sponsored by Red Bull?
00:13:00.000 Red Bull's gangster.
00:13:03.000 Well, Red Bull sponsored the highest.
00:13:09.000 Oh my god.
00:13:18.000 Imagine they had to calculate when the first flight takes off, so you don't get torpedoed in the air by a fucking plane going 500 miles an hour.
00:13:27.000 Yeah, do you think you can time the plane, how fast the plane's coming at you as you're flying down towards it?
00:13:32.000 No, they're going 600 miles an hour.
00:13:33.000 Yeah, you ain't gliding away from that thing.
00:13:35.000 That's a rocket.
00:13:37.000 And so if that guy lands, and then a woman is like, I'm so impressed by that, I'd like to go out with you for drinks tonight, it would demonstrate that there's a selective advantage there.
00:13:47.000 Yeah, there's a selective advantage towards...
00:13:49.000 And being a daredevil.
00:13:50.000 Yeah, there's definitely.
00:13:51.000 That totally makes sense.
00:13:53.000 Yeah.
00:13:53.000 Evolutionarily.
00:13:54.000 And it also makes sense that we have a disdain for people that are wearing jewelry and dressing flashy and attracting a lot of attention to ourselves.
00:14:02.000 Because classically, that person who aims to stand out so strongly ruins everything.
00:14:09.000 They get too loud.
00:14:10.000 They turn things into fights.
00:14:11.000 The person is really loud and flamboyant.
00:14:16.000 It's just a natural instinct.
00:14:18.000 The feeling you get is like, oh, look at this fucking guy.
00:14:21.000 What is this guy going to bring to the party?
00:14:23.000 Yeah, he's not a team player.
00:14:26.000 He's some crazy asshole with jewelry on.
00:14:29.000 What's he doing?
00:14:30.000 Like Criss Angel.
00:14:31.000 Why's he wearing a fur?
00:14:32.000 I get annoyed at Criss Angel because he's too into his body and he's too into his ripped jeans and I'm always like, I don't know, I'm sure I'd like him, but when I see him, I'm like, I'll punch that guy in the face, man.
00:14:41.000 On top of the fact that he's really muscular, he's kind of a good looking guy, so I'm a little jealous of him at the same time.
00:14:45.000 I'm like, yeah, I don't like that.
00:14:47.000 Maybe I'm a little attractive.
00:14:48.000 That's probably one of the best ways to get girls ever, to be a beautiful magician.
00:14:52.000 Oh, he's awesome.
00:14:53.000 Beautiful, handsome magician with a great body.
00:14:56.000 He's great.
00:14:56.000 Must be ridiculous.
00:14:57.000 You've got to love the guy.
00:14:58.000 Yeah, it's like there's an evolutionary advantage in that way.
00:15:01.000 Are you kidding?
00:15:02.000 There must be, right?
00:15:03.000 I do magic.
00:15:04.000 To be able to trick that many people into thinking that you're mysterious?
00:15:07.000 He's awesome.
00:15:08.000 I mean, what are you doing?
00:15:09.000 I mean, every magician is a goddamn trickster.
00:15:11.000 That's all they're doing.
00:15:11.000 They're just tricking you.
00:15:12.000 I'm very good friends with David Blaine.
00:15:15.000 Yeah.
00:15:16.000 And women love him.
00:15:18.000 Love him.
00:15:18.000 I'm good friends with Penn Jillette, and women love him.
00:15:21.000 How about that?
00:15:22.000 That's even more impressive.
00:15:23.000 That's impressive.
00:15:24.000 Because Dave's a good-looking guy.
00:15:25.000 He's got this mystery and, you know, tall and dark and stuff.
00:15:28.000 Pendulant's a bad motherfucker.
00:15:29.000 Is that pen like...
00:15:31.000 Penn and Teller?
00:15:32.000 Yeah, that guy.
00:15:33.000 Did I ever tell you about David Blaine who tried to fight Mike Tyson?
00:15:36.000 What?
00:15:36.000 Did I ever tell you the story?
00:15:37.000 Tried to fight Mike Tyson?
00:15:38.000 I run into David on the street, and he's just jacked.
00:15:42.000 I mean, he's built like me, but he was just so muscular.
00:15:45.000 I was like, David, what are you doing?
00:15:45.000 He goes, I was training for eight months to fight Mike Tyson.
00:15:49.000 And when he went to a trainer, it might have been Teddy Atlas or something, he goes, I want to fight Mike Tyson.
00:15:53.000 And I think it was Teddy.
00:15:54.000 I'm sorry, David, or someone like that.
00:15:56.000 And he goes, the trainer goes, Well, what's the trick?
00:15:59.000 And David said, nothing.
00:15:59.000 I just want to last three rounds.
00:16:01.000 And the trainer goes, not in this lifetime.
00:16:03.000 And he goes, no, but I think if I train hard, he goes, you're not going to...
00:16:07.000 I'm not training you to fight Mike Tyson.
00:16:09.000 You won't last five seconds.
00:16:10.000 You never fought in your life.
00:16:11.000 You're a magician.
00:16:12.000 If there's not a trick, it's not going to happen.
00:16:13.000 And Mike Tyson, you know...
00:16:15.000 He thinks David's magic, apparently.
00:16:17.000 So that didn't happen.
00:16:18.000 So he goes to another trainer.
00:16:20.000 And the trainer goes, what's the trick?
00:16:21.000 And David goes, there's no trick.
00:16:22.000 I just want to do it.
00:16:23.000 And he goes, I'll take your money, but it ain't going to happen.
00:16:26.000 I'm going to tell you up front.
00:16:26.000 And he goes, no, no, I want to do it.
00:16:27.000 So David pays him a crazy amount of money.
00:16:30.000 And they start.
00:16:30.000 And he trains for six months.
00:16:32.000 And finally, they put him in the ring with his cruiserweight.
00:16:34.000 Just a guy who's there.
00:16:35.000 Cruiserweight.
00:16:35.000 Tall, thin guy.
00:16:37.000 You know, who can box.
00:16:39.000 And David said that the guy jabbed him once.
00:16:42.000 The guy was, bam!
00:16:43.000 And David went, oh!
00:16:44.000 Oh my God!
00:16:45.000 He thought he was going to die.
00:16:47.000 And the guy goes, you alright?
00:16:48.000 And he goes, I don't want to.
00:16:49.000 And then he hit him again.
00:16:51.000 And David was like, that's it.
00:16:52.000 I can't.
00:16:53.000 He took two jabs.
00:16:54.000 He goes, I can't fight.
00:16:55.000 This is crazy.
00:16:56.000 He had no idea how hard somebody could hit.
00:16:58.000 And the guy goes, we've been telling you that the whole time.
00:17:01.000 That's a jab from a cruiserweight who's not even a top pro.
00:17:04.000 You're talking about one of the hardest hitters in the game of all time.
00:17:08.000 David was like, oh, well, guess I can never do that.
00:17:10.000 When was he trying to do this?
00:17:11.000 This was a long time ago.
00:17:12.000 I... Like when Mike Tyson was boxing still?
00:17:15.000 It was right when he retired, I believe.
00:17:17.000 Right when he retired.
00:17:18.000 Why would Mike Tyson do that?
00:17:19.000 He's ridiculous.
00:17:20.000 Why would he think that Mike Tyson would be willing to do that?
00:17:23.000 Well, I don't know.
00:17:23.000 I'll talk to Dave and I'll come back with...
00:17:25.000 But that's kind of insulting.
00:17:27.000 Yeah.
00:17:27.000 For him to even think that Mike Tyson, one of the greatest fighters of all time, would be willing to do that.
00:17:33.000 Well, David's the kind of guy who just loves endurance.
00:17:35.000 He loves thinking about the hardest thing to do.
00:17:38.000 Like, he wanted to cross...
00:17:39.000 I don't know if I can say it on air.
00:17:40.000 Right, but a fighter only has...
00:17:42.000 I mean, even though Mike Tyson would run through him like a hot samurai sword through a molten piece of butter...
00:17:48.000 A fighter only has a certain amount of fights in his life.
00:17:50.000 And a certain amount of times you can punch a man in the head with your hands without him breaking.
00:17:54.000 A certain amount of times you can explode moving on somebody and not tear a muscle.
00:17:57.000 You only have a certain amount of those in your life.
00:17:59.000 That Mike Tyson would waste one of them, even if it would be a quick crushing...
00:18:03.000 Why would he waste one of those fighting a guy like David Blaine?
00:18:06.000 That's so arrogant.
00:18:07.000 Like, you should have a fucking...
00:18:08.000 You really think you could be a boxer and fight Mike Tyson?
00:18:11.000 Have an amateur fight.
00:18:12.000 I don't think he knew.
00:18:14.000 I think a lot of guys...
00:18:15.000 It goes back to what we were saying.
00:18:16.000 A lot of dudes...
00:18:17.000 And we meet a lot of these guys in LA. A lot of guys don't really understand what it's like to be hit by somebody who can really hit you.
00:18:24.000 You don't have that experience.
00:18:25.000 Your experience comes from what?
00:18:28.000 Movies.
00:18:29.000 Where you see a guy get punched in the face and he comes back and hits again.
00:18:32.000 So you think that's how it is.
00:18:33.000 Until you get hit by a guy who really understands how to hit and your whole world...
00:18:37.000 Your whole world changes...
00:18:40.000 It's very difficult to relax, too, when someone's hitting you.
00:18:44.000 And one of the things that happens to people is they freak out.
00:18:47.000 And their stress level goes up so high, they lose complete control of their ability to control their breath.
00:18:53.000 And they get exhausted and they fall apart.
00:18:55.000 It's like one of the main things that happens.
00:18:57.000 And it's because...
00:18:58.000 They can't process the actual reality of getting hit.
00:19:01.000 If you've been hit before, you can calm yourself down, even though you know that, like, wow, I just got hit hard, but we gotta keep moving, we gotta keep your eyes open, hands up, and you start, like, calming yourself down.
00:19:12.000 But that's a process you have to get really, really, really used to.
00:19:16.000 You ever see boxers where the guard's taking a jab and then he has his eyes open and he's countering?
00:19:20.000 Like, eyes open while a guy's punching your face.
00:19:23.000 Like, they get so comfortable with it, they eat jabs with their eyes open.
00:19:28.000 It's incredible.
00:19:29.000 Diaz, Nick Diaz is really good at that.
00:19:30.000 Nick Diaz can actually eat your jab and keep coming.
00:19:33.000 He's one of the few guys I've seen who's got that...
00:19:35.000 That's not a good move.
00:19:37.000 Well, no.
00:19:38.000 He should always get the fuck away from punches, man.
00:19:40.000 Did you see the HBO Boxing this weekend?
00:19:44.000 That Donair fight?
00:19:46.000 No, but did you see that Bradley fight?
00:19:48.000 With Bradley and...
00:19:50.000 Did you see the chick fight?
00:19:51.000 Yeah, that was insane.
00:19:52.000 Did you not see the Bradley...
00:19:53.000 Hopkins?
00:19:54.000 No.
00:19:55.000 Bradley, what's that guy from Siberia?
00:19:57.000 It was the fight of the year.
00:19:59.000 Just recently.
00:20:00.000 It was the craziest thing I've ever seen in my life.
00:20:01.000 The guy that he fought in Rocky III? No.
00:20:04.000 This Siberian guy fights out of Freddie Roach's gym.
00:20:07.000 And it was the craziest thing.
00:20:09.000 It's the craziest...
00:20:11.000 Oh, I know.
00:20:12.000 I know exactly what you're talking about.
00:20:13.000 His eyes were shut.
00:20:15.000 It was a crazy fight.
00:20:16.000 Yeah, don't tell anybody what happens because it's so crazy.
00:20:18.000 Anyway.
00:20:19.000 It's the best fight I've ever seen.
00:20:21.000 People who have no respect for that, people who have never been beaten, you don't have any idea what those guys are sacrificing to try to entertain people.
00:20:30.000 It's the biggest sacrifice you could ever make physically without dying.
00:20:35.000 It is.
00:20:36.000 And what's really interesting is some people have a genetic, like an ability to take punches that you as a human being should never be able to deal with.
00:20:45.000 Like even watching Big Country when he was taking those knees to the face.
00:20:49.000 You ever see that?
00:20:49.000 Yeah.
00:20:49.000 You called a fight.
00:20:50.000 Incredible.
00:20:51.000 Like, how he can take that kind of punishment to his head is the nuttiest thing I've ever seen.
00:20:54.000 A lot of it is in his mind, too.
00:20:56.000 A lot of it is your determination.
00:20:58.000 The physical build of your face, that's one.
00:21:00.000 Like Mark Hunt, like that big fucking thick head.
00:21:04.000 That Samoan head.
00:21:05.000 Would you say the physical what of your face?
00:21:06.000 Physical build-of-your-face construction.
00:21:09.000 It seems that guys with really thin faces, like narrow jaws, have more of an issue with getting knocked out, whereas big, square-jawed guys are more difficult to knock out.
00:21:20.000 Well, they say that fighting trainers look for a short neck and a wide face.
00:21:25.000 Yeah, that supposedly is the best.
00:21:27.000 David Tua, perfect example.
00:21:29.000 One of the best chins of all time.
00:21:31.000 Lennox Lewis cracked him on the jaw and he just sort of wobbles back and forth and keeps moving forward.
00:21:37.000 David Tua had a ridiculous jaw and his head is as wide as a football field.
00:21:41.000 I worked out with his strength coach and who got him ready for his first fight.
00:21:48.000 And his strength coach said that David Tua had never squatted.
00:21:52.000 And he put him on the squat rack.
00:21:54.000 He put 490 on the squat rack.
00:21:57.000 And Tua went from...
00:21:59.000 He took the weight, 490 pounds, and didn't do a regular squat.
00:22:05.000 He did a deep squat.
00:22:06.000 He did an all-the-way-down squat and then came back up with no problem.
00:22:11.000 And he was like, how much do you practice squatting?
00:22:14.000 And Tua was like, I don't practice squatting, bro.
00:22:16.000 I'm just, you know...
00:22:17.000 I don't know.
00:22:18.000 How much weight was that?
00:22:19.000 He goes, that was 490 pounds with no belt or anything.
00:22:21.000 You just put it on your body and went all the way down.
00:22:24.000 He goes, you're not supposed to go all the way down.
00:22:25.000 You just have to go down to where you put your butt on.
00:22:27.000 What kind of shitty trainer was that guy?
00:22:29.000 Why the fuck did he put so much weight on and why didn't he tell him how to do it first?
00:22:32.000 I don't know.
00:22:33.000 That trainer sounds like a douchebag.
00:22:35.000 That story sucks.
00:22:36.000 Hey man!
00:22:37.000 Hey man!
00:22:37.000 How about that man?
00:22:38.000 Hey man, alright let me retell it.
00:22:39.000 The trainer warmed him up.
00:22:41.000 He stretched him and warmed him up.
00:22:43.000 It is definitely important.
00:22:44.000 You gotta edit that one a little bit.
00:22:46.000 You know what squatting doesn't help with?
00:22:47.000 Hunting.
00:22:48.000 When you're out there trying to stalk a deer.
00:22:50.000 See, I disagree.
00:22:52.000 I think all those bodyweight squats I do, that totally helped me.
00:22:55.000 I don't hike.
00:22:55.000 No, I know.
00:22:56.000 I never go hiking.
00:22:57.000 We were hiking for fucking hours.
00:23:00.000 I was like, there's a couple points where I was like, whoa, I'm breathing really heavy.
00:23:04.000 This is really taxing.
00:23:06.000 And someone who's in shitty shape and you try to do that Badlands hiking all day, that's not good for you.
00:23:13.000 Well, when we had to hoof out all that meat, Yeah.
00:23:15.000 It was a small mile.
00:23:17.000 It was only a mile.
00:23:18.000 I thought it was heavy and I was like, I was concentrating.
00:23:20.000 Yeah, I think it's a peculiar, it's like a peculiar kind of, um, in shape.
00:23:26.000 Just like walking around on uneven ground.
00:23:28.000 Yeah.
00:23:28.000 You know, I remember when I, like I grew up in Michigan and you couldn't, you couldn't find a good, you couldn't find anywhere you could, where you needed to walk.
00:23:36.000 You know, like a, like a mile walk would be a big walk there.
00:23:40.000 And, um, We were, you know, we all consider ourselves, like, pretty tough about that kind of stuff, like hunting in Michigan and trapping and stuff.
00:23:48.000 When I moved out west and first started hunting elk, we would get where, like, we'd hike in, we might hike in, like, eight or nine miles somewhere to hunt, and then hunt a couple days and come back out.
00:24:00.000 And then we'd, like, get in the truck and drive to a gas station, you know, and you go in to get, like, a fountain pop.
00:24:09.000 A fountain pop.
00:24:10.000 Yeah, like you'd go to...
00:24:11.000 That's soda for you people who are not living in the 50s.
00:24:14.000 But I remember like getting...
00:24:16.000 A fountain pop.
00:24:18.000 Okay, a belly washer.
00:24:20.000 So, but by that point in time, you'd pull up and open the door and couldn't get out of the vehicle.
00:24:25.000 Like, just that 20 minute drive and my legs would just...
00:24:30.000 Seize up.
00:24:30.000 Like, seize up so bad that it would take days to recover from it.
00:24:35.000 Wow.
00:24:35.000 And then now, I don't understand, like now...
00:24:38.000 It just doesn't happen.
00:24:39.000 Even if I didn't go and do that for a year, maybe not a year, if I didn't go do that for six months or something, I feel like I would just be fine.
00:24:48.000 Something goes away or comes or breaks or heals or something from just those long, arduous hikes.
00:24:57.000 Yeah, the human body is incredibly adaptable.
00:25:01.000 I mean, there's things that people do if you go to a martial arts school and watch guys who have been doing jujitsu their whole lives and watch how you can move your body around, how you can manipulate your body.
00:25:10.000 The only way you can do that is if you just do it for years and years and years and years.
00:25:14.000 You're hiking up those crazy slippery slopes.
00:25:18.000 All those places we hiked up were really slippery.
00:25:21.000 It takes a specific kind of balance and leg endurance when you're moving through muck and stuff.
00:25:30.000 That's a skill.
00:25:32.000 You're just really good at it.
00:25:33.000 You were barely getting tired.
00:25:35.000 It was crazy.
00:25:35.000 I was really impressed.
00:25:37.000 I was like, this guy's barely breathing heavy.
00:25:39.000 We get to the top and he's glassing and I'm going...
00:25:43.000 He's like barely breathing.
00:25:45.000 But at the same time, keep in mind, I live in fear of catching a direct hit from my two-year-old.
00:25:50.000 He gets big time outs for that, and I'm kind of covering my face.
00:25:53.000 I can't take a hit from him.
00:25:56.000 He's 35 pounds.
00:25:57.000 When I take one of his Matchbox cars and he deals me a blow to the cheek or something like that, it puts me out.
00:26:03.000 That's funny.
00:26:04.000 Kids can fucking, they can hit you hard.
00:26:06.000 They don't pull.
00:26:08.000 No, man.
00:26:08.000 My daughter decided to take her heel into me.
00:26:10.000 She went, yeah!
00:26:12.000 She jumped on me.
00:26:13.000 I was lying in bed.
00:26:14.000 She jumped on me and decided to ride me and she took her heel and went, get that in my rib.
00:26:18.000 And I went, hey!
00:26:20.000 It was crazy.
00:26:21.000 I was like, how'd you get that much power out of that heel strike?
00:26:23.000 Do you teach them martial arts yet?
00:26:25.000 Not yet.
00:26:25.000 My son will definitely be learning.
00:26:27.000 I train them when they're rolling, the four-year-old and the two-year-old, because they wrestle around together naturally.
00:26:31.000 So I train them positions, and I was like, this is not where you want to stay.
00:26:35.000 If you're in this position, what do you want to do?
00:26:37.000 You want to pass the guard.
00:26:38.000 I think it's important.
00:26:39.000 You should teach somebody how to do that.
00:26:42.000 My wife today, honestly, two hours ago my wife sent me a message on my phone asking if I thought that our little boy would like karate classes.
00:26:52.000 It's really good.
00:26:53.000 I've never done anything like that.
00:26:54.000 Well, you did a lot of hunting, though, and a lot of physical things.
00:26:57.000 I think men need a lot of physical things.
00:27:00.000 I think the idea that it's natural for a man to have no explosive release physically for the rest of his life and just sit in a cubicle and just go through life with shiny shoes on, with a fucking tie on.
00:27:13.000 Your body's going to break.
00:27:14.000 That's a totally unnatural thing you're asking of it.
00:27:18.000 And if you don't have some sort of physical release, or at least understand how to manage it.
00:27:24.000 You've got to understand how to manage it.
00:27:25.000 Managing it is super important.
00:27:28.000 Well, it also, hormonally, for a man, doing exercise like that, hormonally, it changes you hormonally.
00:27:34.000 When you don't exercise, you lose it, man.
00:27:37.000 You lose it.
00:27:38.000 Oh, no question.
00:27:39.000 No question.
00:27:40.000 It's way healthier to...
00:27:42.000 Actually, lifting heavy is a good thing, too.
00:27:44.000 Yeah, but we're talking about for little kids.
00:27:46.000 For little kids, learning how to do difficult things early on, it's so important.
00:27:52.000 Well, hand-eye coordination.
00:27:53.000 Think how normal it is for you to sleep somewhere that's fucking cold as shit with a sleeping bag and like, all right, well, this is just what we're doing.
00:28:00.000 Here we are.
00:28:01.000 You and Mo curled up together in that van, raising your asses off.
00:28:05.000 For an average person, that's like some...
00:28:08.000 You know, walking dead type shit.
00:28:10.000 That scenario never comes up.
00:28:11.000 And if it did, they would fall apart.
00:28:13.000 They wouldn't be able to deal with it.
00:28:14.000 They'd be complaining and whining.
00:28:16.000 I mean, how many people would complain and whine?
00:28:17.000 Well, Steve, shed some light on this, because I've read accounts of where the settlers, when they would move west and they'd come in contact with Native Americans, it'd be a bitterly cold winter or something.
00:28:28.000 And they would see like Native Americans and children not dressed warmly.
00:28:37.000 Yeah.
00:28:38.000 Like dressed in like, you know, or not warmly compared to Western.
00:28:41.000 So they'd be like, you know, 10 degrees out or something and they'd be in, you know, two skins but not nearly as bundled up as you would expect them to be.
00:28:51.000 Yeah, I think the people acclimate to that kind of stuff.
00:28:54.000 And you see your own minor version of it, just the way you might behave throughout the winter.
00:29:00.000 Right.
00:29:01.000 Do you know what I mean?
00:29:02.000 You get just generally accustomed to it throughout the year.
00:29:05.000 And then you see mild variations where people who might grow up at northern latitudes, move down south, they come back home and can't hack the cold.
00:29:14.000 Yeah, I wonder what that is.
00:29:15.000 Maybe your body naturally starts preparing for that or heating up.
00:29:19.000 Something shifts.
00:29:20.000 Even then, if you look at cultures like Inuit cultures, just in that small amount of time, relatively, that's not a very ancient people or very ancient culture.
00:29:33.000 They're fairly new arrivals in the Arctic, but they already demonstrate Physical differences and physical adaptations...
00:29:40.000 Their hands and feet don't get cold, right?
00:29:42.000 ...that would help them adapt to the cold, like how much stuff you spread out, like how much blood you send to your extremities and how well you can shut that off and control it.
00:29:50.000 Another thing is...
00:29:52.000 There's this thing that's called the Bergman Principle.
00:29:55.000 It's a principle in wildlife physiology.
00:30:00.000 And the Bergman Principle holds that...
00:30:02.000 Like, if you have a species, okay, let's take white-tailed deer...
00:30:05.000 In the southern extreme of that species range, the animals are going to be much smaller than in the northern extreme.
00:30:14.000 So if you look at white-tailed deer from Alberta, there's just monsters up there.
00:30:17.000 You hear these guys that get like 280 pound deer or whatever.
00:30:20.000 Down in the southern extreme of the range, they might weigh 90 pounds.
00:30:24.000 And what they find is that a bigger...
00:30:26.000 Like, generally, a bigger animal has less surface area.
00:30:31.000 So that bigger animal is better able to retain body heat.
00:30:35.000 And a smaller animal...
00:30:36.000 In a mammal shape, a smaller animal has greater surface area and is thus better able to shed heat.
00:30:42.000 So it comes down to heat shedding and heat retention.
00:30:45.000 And when you look at, like, human cultures...
00:30:47.000 Wait, so a smaller animal...
00:30:48.000 Say again?
00:30:49.000 Like, a bigger animal...
00:30:54.000 Let's say you have exactly the same shaped dogs, but one of those dogs is 200 pounds and one of those dogs is 50 pounds.
00:31:01.000 The larger dog has less surface area per unit of mass.
00:31:07.000 And the smaller dog has greater surface area per unit of mass.
00:31:11.000 And so that's a way in which animals help, you know, shedding heat and keeping it.
00:31:15.000 Another thing you see in species, like now that we look at the woolly mammoth, the woolly mammoth had very small ears.
00:31:20.000 You know, we think of elephants that have, like, elephantine giant ears.
00:31:24.000 The woolly mammoth had very small ears.
00:31:25.000 It was an arctic and subarctic inhabitant.
00:31:28.000 Then you look at the African element near equatorial zones, big ears.
00:31:32.000 So it's like the ability to shed heat, to send a bunch of blood into that big ear and drop that heat off.
00:31:37.000 Oh, I see.
00:31:38.000 And what I'm saying is, not just the body size thing, but just attributes, long legs, things that long legs would help you shed heat, squat legs help you retain heat.
00:31:48.000 So when you look at human cultures, like human cultures from equatorial areas and human cultures from Arctic and sub-Arctic areas, will in some way demonstrate that same tendency of...
00:31:58.000 Or, you know, that same physiology of being squat and compact, being able to handle cold.
00:32:04.000 So I think that, you know, it doesn't take that long for, I mean, whatever your feelings are about, like, you know, when I talk about evolution, it's always just, like, tangled up, you know, people think you're making, like, some grandiose comment about religion or the Bible, but I'm just talking about, like, that things are different,
00:32:19.000 you know?
00:32:19.000 Things look different where they come from.
00:32:21.000 And it doesn't, and I think that it goes pretty quick, In species and humans and stuff, making, you know, like, acquiring adaptations that help them deal with climates, you know?
00:32:35.000 And you talk about guys going out west.
00:32:37.000 I mean, like, settlers going out west.
00:32:39.000 Who's going to wind up thriving?
00:32:40.000 The guy that can hack the cold.
00:32:41.000 The guy that can sleep out, you know?
00:32:43.000 But I think, like, on an individual level, I think so much of it comes down to...
00:32:49.000 Getting comfortable with discomfort.
00:32:51.000 Yeah.
00:32:52.000 And that was something I learned over a long time of hunting in the West and hunting Alaska.
00:32:58.000 It was just kind of like the mental attribute of getting comfortable with discomfort.
00:33:02.000 Yeah.
00:33:02.000 Well, they said that the SEAL teams, they tried to figure out what prototype would do well in the stocky guy or whatever.
00:33:10.000 A lot of guys are stockier.
00:33:11.000 A lot of guys were wrestlers.
00:33:12.000 There are three sports they recruit from, believe it or not, lacrosse, swimming, wrestling, and one other football.
00:33:18.000 But they couldn't actually, they've never been able to really pinpoint who makes it and why.
00:33:25.000 And they certainly can't even do it physically.
00:33:27.000 Like some guys just defy the odds and they shouldn't do it, but they do.
00:33:30.000 So there's no like, well that guy has this, these six qualities, he's definitely going to make it through buds.
00:33:37.000 No.
00:33:38.000 It's just a very difficult thing to pinpoint.
00:33:41.000 While we've been talking, Cam just walked in.
00:33:45.000 We only have one extra mic here, so you guys are going to have to get close to each other and talk.
00:33:49.000 Are you Steve's friend?
00:33:51.000 You guys know each other?
00:33:52.000 We know each other a little bit.
00:33:54.000 I've gone on Cam's show a number of times.
00:33:56.000 Yeah, Steve and I are both on Sportsman Channel.
00:33:58.000 I do Cam and Company, which is 5 o'clock Eastern, Monday through Friday.
00:34:03.000 Big fan of Steve's, and we've talked about...
00:34:06.000 Oh, I was confused.
00:34:07.000 I thought you guys were good buddies, and you were traveling together.
00:34:10.000 You're not traveling together.
00:34:11.000 Not traveling together.
00:34:12.000 Oh, I gotta...
00:34:12.000 No.
00:34:13.000 My information sucks.
00:34:15.000 I don't know where I'm getting a wire from.
00:34:18.000 So you're here to promote?
00:34:21.000 Here to promote your appearance on Meat Eater and talk about the MMA week that we're developing for Cam and Company coming up last week in April.
00:34:34.000 Having Steven on and hopefully having you on, Randy Couture is going to be joining us.
00:34:38.000 We're going to talk about, you know, I think a lot of the similarities in the crossover between the MMA world and the world of hunting.
00:34:47.000 You know, you talk about what attributes it takes to, you know, make it as a Navy SEAL and you talk about what attributes it takes to make it as a hunter.
00:34:57.000 You know, I think that there's all kinds of commonalities there when we talk about What it means to actually be better than what we are and to grow ourselves, whether it's putting yourself in that state of discomfort where a lot of people bug out.
00:35:16.000 I mean, they don't want to do that anymore.
00:35:17.000 We live in a world in which our entire existence is based on how comfortable can we be.
00:35:23.000 But again, you don't become better unless you're pushing yourself, unless you're breaking out of that comfort zone.
00:35:30.000 Yeah, it's a sad thing to see a whole generation of kids growing up that don't experience that as young men.
00:35:37.000 They don't have difficult tasks to perform.
00:35:39.000 I think that's a very critical aspect of your behavior and your character and growing your character.
00:35:47.000 You've got to fail.
00:35:48.000 You've got to be pushed.
00:35:49.000 You've got to get to a situation where you pass your limits or you surprise yourself with new limits and you change your own definition of yourself.
00:35:56.000 But if you don't test yourself, if you don't get into bad positions, you're always going to have that weird insecurity about you.
00:36:03.000 Like that weird insecurity that guys have that have never been in any kind of conflict ever and you don't know how they would react.
00:36:10.000 There are certain people I know exactly how they would react if the shit hits the fan.
00:36:14.000 But those other people are like, oh, you squirrely bitch, you might fall apart on me.
00:36:17.000 And I think that, like you always say too, if you're trying to be really good at anything, you can find all that discomfort and all those plateaus and everything just in trying to get great at the guitar or the drums or whatever it is.
00:36:32.000 There's a certain amount of humility and an understanding of what's really going on that you develop when you sort of make any strides in any really difficult thing, whether it's playing chess, whether it's writing, whatever it is.
00:36:44.000 It's a matter of doing something difficult and testing your boundaries.
00:36:48.000 I think at a time all that came more naturally.
00:36:54.000 If you just look at the way people's lives used to be structured, you know, and even just, you know, not even just a hundred years ago or so, it wasn't like we had to manufacture opportunities for stress.
00:37:06.000 Right.
00:37:07.000 Do you know what I mean?
00:37:07.000 It was just like you had things you had to do, like you had to clear land or people would actually have children because they needed the additional, they didn't look at children as being a deficit.
00:37:18.000 They looked at children as being an addition of resources.
00:37:22.000 Like, I'll have kids because they'll help me do more work.
00:37:24.000 Not that I'll have kids so that I can pump money into them and pump resources into them.
00:37:29.000 I'll derive from them.
00:37:30.000 And now I find...
00:37:32.000 I certainly don't live that way.
00:37:33.000 Now I find that I manufacture...
00:37:36.000 I try to, in small dosages, manufacture that feeling for my kid to...
00:37:44.000 Give him this, he doesn't see it as artificial, but give him this artificial sense of him having to have output.
00:37:50.000 You know, that I'm doing something, and maybe I'm doing something completely unnecessary.
00:37:54.000 Like, he wants to make a birdhouse, so we're going to make a birdhouse.
00:37:57.000 But at a point, it becomes just, like, arduous.
00:38:00.000 You know, there's a part where the fun dies, and now we just got to get it finished, you know?
00:38:06.000 And to make it, and to turn it into, like, no, we're doing this, we're doing this, we're doing this.
00:38:08.000 And it's like, and I don't care if it's enjoyable to him anymore.
00:38:11.000 And he's so little, this is all just, like, experiment now.
00:38:13.000 Right.
00:38:13.000 But just trying to, like, create that sense of that you have to now, in some way, do something you don't want to do.
00:38:20.000 Yes.
00:38:21.000 That it is productive as I define it.
00:38:24.000 That's a part of love life practice, right?
00:38:27.000 It's a part of that, you know, you start getting good at something and just, you know, if you're trying to be a good wrestler or whatever, there are days you walk in, you're like, I don't want to wrestle.
00:38:36.000 I don't want to do any of this.
00:38:36.000 I don't even care about this anymore.
00:38:38.000 It's all a bore.
00:38:39.000 I don't like that guy.
00:38:40.000 I don't like that guy.
00:38:41.000 I don't like any of this.
00:38:42.000 And it's like getting into a cold bath until your skin gets acclimated, you know?
00:38:47.000 Yeah.
00:38:47.000 That's a huge part.
00:38:49.000 Isn't that a really interesting thing, the way they put it?
00:38:51.000 Get comfortable with discomfort.
00:38:53.000 I don't think you can get good at anything unless you get comfortable with discomfort.
00:38:58.000 Well, that's one of the things about wrestlers that separates them from, in my opinion, almost every other athlete.
00:39:04.000 Wrestlers go through such horrendous stress throughout high school and college.
00:39:09.000 Suck and weight.
00:39:10.000 Between sucking weight and the training, wrestling is the most brutal fucking training you can do.
00:39:15.000 And then you're doing strength and conditioning, hill sprints, whatever kind of crazy weightlifting program they have you on.
00:39:22.000 You are broken down all day, falling asleep in class, you're dehydrated, you're sucking weight, you're eating fucking turkey breast and lettuce with lemon juice on it.
00:39:32.000 You're essentially starving while you're going to war.
00:39:35.000 Spartan lifestyle.
00:39:35.000 And these guys, they developed this unbelievable ability to just grind through shit.
00:39:42.000 And they break a lot of fighters just with their sheer will because of that.
00:39:46.000 The mentality that comes with being a successful wrestler.
00:39:50.000 Well, tomorrow I'm having Ronda Rousey on the show.
00:39:53.000 Brian Callenshow, everybody.
00:39:56.000 Sorry to push my podcast.
00:39:59.000 Thank God you changed the name of that stupid thing.
00:40:01.000 From Man Thoughts?
00:40:02.000 A lot of people want Man Thoughts back.
00:40:04.000 It used to be called Man Thoughts, and then Joe was like, come on, dude, just have it the Brian Callenshow.
00:40:08.000 I was like, all right, I'm changing it back to the Brian Callenshow, everybody.
00:40:11.000 Man Thoughts.
00:40:12.000 Because it's not, you know, people look for the Brian Callenshow podcast.
00:40:17.000 They're not going to Google Man Thoughts.
00:40:18.000 Right, exactly.
00:40:19.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:40:19.000 Exactly.
00:40:19.000 It's kind of silly.
00:40:21.000 There's a little disconnect there with people finding it.
00:40:23.000 I know.
00:40:23.000 It was an idea to label.
00:40:24.000 I can't do anything.
00:40:25.000 I'm so bad at labeling.
00:40:26.000 Who's the person?
00:40:27.000 Ronda Rousey.
00:40:28.000 Ronda Rousey is a UFC champion.
00:40:30.000 The point I'm making is that I think part of what makes her so great is she was an Olympian in judo, which is so difficult.
00:40:36.000 It's the same kind of training.
00:40:37.000 Yeah, brutal.
00:40:38.000 And you get into the octagon with Ronda Rousey, man.
00:40:42.000 She's been through the muck.
00:40:44.000 And that's what I'm going to talk to her about.
00:40:46.000 She's an extreme winner, and I want to talk to her about how...
00:40:49.000 What her mindset is, how she keeps that going, how she deals with the pressure, how she deals with all of that.
00:40:53.000 Her mother developed her.
00:40:55.000 Her mother's a judo champion as well.
00:40:57.000 Her mother just taught her to be a total badass.
00:41:00.000 It's amazing.
00:41:01.000 What she said in an interview, Rhonda said, and I'm going to talk about this, is when something bad happens to her, she immediately says, wow.
00:41:08.000 I wonder what I'm going to get out of this.
00:41:12.000 This sucks right now, but I wonder what good is going to come out of this because something good, I'm going to react in a good way.
00:41:21.000 My reaction is going to create something positive in this atmosphere.
00:41:25.000 That's a great way of looking at any kind of adversity.
00:41:28.000 Sure, until you get kicked in the head.
00:41:30.000 Well, that's true.
00:41:31.000 And then you go, okay.
00:41:32.000 Ain't that the truth, right?
00:41:33.000 That's the ultimate equalizer.
00:41:35.000 Boo Mancini used to say, for some of you younger listeners, he was a world champion boxer, Ray Mancini, and he said, my father always said, you're a tough guy, till you're not.
00:41:45.000 Bottom line.
00:41:47.000 You're a tough guy until you're not.
00:41:48.000 Somebody hits you in the face.
00:41:49.000 You're not a tough guy anymore.
00:41:50.000 You're a tough guy until you're not.
00:41:53.000 Doesn't it suck to get to an age where your references don't work anymore?
00:41:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:41:58.000 Back when Chico and the man.
00:41:59.000 My wife's like, how old are you?
00:42:02.000 I don't know, does it seem that?
00:42:04.000 I'll make some things like Mary Lou Retton, which in my mind was the only athlete I knew about because she was on Special K-Box.
00:42:12.000 I'll be like, yeah, jumping around.
00:42:14.000 By the way, Mary Lou Retton is...
00:42:15.000 How about when Bruce Jenner used to be the Wheaties guy, not some freak on a fucking reality show?
00:42:20.000 How about that?
00:42:21.000 How about when Bruce Jenner had a man nose?
00:42:24.000 How about when Bruce Jenner was a man?
00:42:26.000 What's going on?
00:42:27.000 When you become like this guy who's on this reality show and all your daughters are just...
00:42:33.000 With that little upturned nose.
00:42:34.000 ...all in the news and everyone's mad.
00:42:37.000 They're all crazy.
00:42:38.000 They're completely crazy.
00:42:39.000 Yeah, and he used to be a champion.
00:42:40.000 He used to be an Olympic...
00:42:42.000 Was he a decathlon?
00:42:43.000 Yeah, he was one of the best in the world.
00:42:44.000 He was a gold medal and handsome and then decides he's going to go and get his nose done.
00:42:51.000 Have you ever played the game where you try to flash forward 20 years into the future and find out, you know, like think, okay, what celebrity that I know now who's normal is going to be that fucked up 20 years from now?
00:43:02.000 Nah, it's too easy to make fun of the ones that are fucked up right now.
00:43:05.000 I'm not really into fucking the stock market of celebrity doucheness.
00:43:09.000 I'm looking for them to be fucked up right away.
00:43:12.000 I mean, there's always something.
00:43:13.000 But there's some that you picture, like if someone just rubs you the wrong way for whatever reason, it's fun to fantasize turns that could happen.
00:43:20.000 Right.
00:43:21.000 Well, what's really fun is when you don't like one and it actually happens and you get to watch.
00:43:26.000 Yeah.
00:43:26.000 You can watch them fucking skid and hit the rocks.
00:43:28.000 As you get older, you get really good at figuring out.
00:43:33.000 You look at some celebrities and you go, oh, there's a lot of flash and noise there, but you're not drawing for much, brother.
00:43:39.000 You're working with one bag of tricks and that's getting empty.
00:43:41.000 I can watch it.
00:43:43.000 And you're like, you've got to come up with something.
00:43:44.000 But a lot of times you see that.
00:43:45.000 It's a very disappointing thing when you realize that there's all these really douchey people that on camera, and they have this sort of artificial act that they put on, and then they'll do films where they're really good at pretending to be someone else, so they do that.
00:44:01.000 But you get to meet them, and you see them, and you're like, this guy's a douchebag, like a straight A, grade A douchebag, and you're a movie star.
00:44:09.000 And a bore, and a bore, yeah.
00:44:10.000 A boring, crazy psychopath who's just really...
00:44:13.000 Who's all about themselves.
00:44:14.000 Yeah.
00:44:15.000 Pathologically self-involved.
00:44:16.000 I know a movie star like that.
00:44:18.000 It's just, you know, and you grow up watching him and I got to know him and I was like, you are an absolute cuckoo bird.
00:44:27.000 You are all about yourself.
00:44:28.000 Never ask me a question about my, never ask me one question about myself.
00:44:32.000 Not one question.
00:44:33.000 Not even how you're doing.
00:44:34.000 Not a question.
00:44:35.000 No interest.
00:44:36.000 It's all about him.
00:44:37.000 He's truly the center of his own universe.
00:44:39.000 There's guys like that.
00:44:40.000 I had a buddy that I had to cut off because I couldn't never just have a, hey, what's going on, man?
00:44:45.000 I couldn't have that.
00:44:46.000 I couldn't say that.
00:44:47.000 No, competition.
00:44:48.000 No, no, no, no.
00:44:49.000 Because when you would say, hey, what's going on, man, he would just go into his career.
00:44:54.000 I know.
00:44:55.000 I mean, it was like a fucking five-minute diatribe on how well this audition went, and he's pretty sure he's going to be back for a second pass at that.
00:45:04.000 And I think once I can get in front of producers, I can show them what I can really do.
00:45:07.000 I know who you're talking about, too.
00:45:09.000 Hey, can I interrupt you long enough just to, Brian, I mean, how's your family?
00:45:13.000 LAUGHTER Dude, I can't believe...
00:45:16.000 Thank you for not being so involved, Steve.
00:45:19.000 He's off of that list.
00:45:19.000 He wants to make sure he's off of that list.
00:45:21.000 How's your family?
00:45:23.000 Steve, you will never be on that list.
00:45:26.000 Yeah.
00:45:27.000 You can do your...
00:45:28.000 Well, we were talking, Cam, before you got here, we were talking about how it seems like, you know, Brian and Steve and I are, because we went on this crazy trip together, because we went to Montana, we have this weird blood brotherhood ship thing going on.
00:45:45.000 It certainly felt that way when I was watching the episodes.
00:45:48.000 Yeah.
00:45:48.000 I was like, there's Mo!
00:45:51.000 There's Dan Doddy!
00:45:52.000 I miss those guys.
00:45:53.000 So true.
00:45:54.000 And Ryan, Ryan.
00:45:55.000 Yeah.
00:45:55.000 Dude, for five days, we had a great fucking time with no TV, no cell phone.
00:46:02.000 We needed less sleep, right?
00:46:03.000 Remember that?
00:46:04.000 I mean, we slept like rocks.
00:46:06.000 We slept when the lights went out.
00:46:07.000 Basically, we ate, slept.
00:46:09.000 But getting up, it didn't seem that hard.
00:46:12.000 It was really fun.
00:46:13.000 It was probably because we were going to bed at 8 and waking up at 6. So I did get about 14 hours of sleep at night.
00:46:19.000 I didn't even need a nap!
00:46:21.000 I'm rugged!
00:46:22.000 It was hard to figure out how to sleep at first, but I realized eventually that the softest way to do it is to keep your, not just your sleeping bag, but your jacket on as well.
00:46:31.000 I kept all my clothes on, my jacket, my sleeping bag, and the down jacket and the sleeping bag.
00:46:37.000 I was like, this is just enough.
00:46:39.000 Let me tell you something.
00:46:40.000 The next time we go hunting, I'm bringing a Sherpa, and guess what he's going to carry?
00:46:43.000 A big fucking mattress on his back.
00:46:45.000 And a portable heater.
00:46:46.000 And fuck you guys, by the way.
00:46:48.000 A portable heater?
00:46:49.000 Yeah.
00:46:49.000 I'm going to have a portable heater, and I want a fucking mattress with a big pillow.
00:46:52.000 Remember we passed that one kill?
00:46:54.000 You'll lose something, though, man.
00:46:55.000 Whatever.
00:46:57.000 Really?
00:46:57.000 Oh, will I? Good.
00:46:58.000 Oh, shucks.
00:46:59.000 What did we just talk about?
00:47:00.000 Oh, sorry.
00:47:01.000 Sorry, guys.
00:47:01.000 What did we just say about going through difficult things?
00:47:04.000 There's a famous quote.
00:47:06.000 I can't remember who said it.
00:47:07.000 You don't really know a man until you hunted with him.
00:47:11.000 Forget that because I don't know the guy.
00:47:12.000 I don't know what he said or who said it, which really destroys my point.
00:47:15.000 But a broader thing I was going to say is that there's like a...
00:47:19.000 I was talking one time with an older friend of mine.
00:47:22.000 He was talking about being at his fishing camp.
00:47:24.000 And he was trying to describe why he liked being at his fishing camp with his buddies.
00:47:27.000 And they always fish halibut in Alaska.
00:47:29.000 And he's like, everyone's just so, so...
00:47:33.000 You know and it wound up being like that he just kind of appreciated that like hanging out with people who Like, have the ability just to take care of things.
00:47:44.000 Yeah.
00:47:44.000 Like, to do things.
00:47:46.000 And he was saying, like, you've got to wait in line if you want to wash a dish.
00:47:49.000 Mm-hmm.
00:47:49.000 You know, with this crew of people he's out with.
00:47:51.000 And I think that in a way, and I'm not saying this is exclusive to hunting.
00:47:54.000 I mean, there's many things.
00:47:55.000 But it's like going on a trip, you know?
00:47:57.000 Going on a trip with people where things aren't so great all the time.
00:48:00.000 Like, there's elements of being cold.
00:48:02.000 There's elements of having not slept enough.
00:48:04.000 But it's kind of having this feeling of...
00:48:07.000 Everything's going to be okay.
00:48:08.000 These guys are great people to be with, and they're just really competent people.
00:48:12.000 And right now we're doing this little crew show on the media that was just on, the one that's coming up, about the guys I work with.
00:48:20.000 And when I watch it, I kind of see that, where I just feel so comfortable being around people that I've spent a lot of time out hunting with.
00:48:28.000 And again, I think that sports teams feel something similar.
00:48:32.000 You know, I think there's...
00:48:33.000 The military is that way.
00:48:34.000 Yeah, like guys that serve together in the military.
00:48:36.000 But it's just kind of a way of...
00:48:38.000 Being away from things and sort of relying on other structures.
00:48:44.000 Relying on other things and having assumptions about people holding their weight.
00:48:47.000 If you complain, make it funny.
00:48:50.000 That's right.
00:48:50.000 That's right.
00:48:51.000 That's funny.
00:48:52.000 I spent 11 days in Afghanistan doing a USO tour and one of the things I came away with was I realized, I went, you know, I've been in LA for a long time where I'm the center of my own universe and everybody around me is always about them.
00:49:03.000 And one of the things I found very refreshing about being in a war zone, if there is such a thing as being refreshing, was that when you're in the military, you're a Marine, you're an Army guy, you come last.
00:49:14.000 Those guys put themselves last and everybody around them comes first.
00:49:16.000 So when you get off a bus and you're unloading bags, there's always a line of people unloading everybody else's bags.
00:49:24.000 Everybody's looking out for the other guy next to them.
00:49:27.000 And that's ethos.
00:49:29.000 That is credo in the military that's drummed into you.
00:49:33.000 I gotta say that having come from LA, which was the exact opposite of being thrown into that experience, was very, very kind of...
00:49:39.000 It was really...
00:49:40.000 I didn't expect it.
00:49:42.000 This is one of the most ridiculous places to live in the world.
00:49:44.000 It is.
00:49:45.000 If you want to find, like, actual real humans to talk to.
00:49:49.000 Authenticity.
00:49:49.000 Yeah, real, authentic.
00:49:51.000 You can't find a lot of authenticity in Los Angeles.
00:49:53.000 Men and women.
00:49:54.000 It's such a brutal grind to try to find people that are your friends that you can talk to.
00:49:59.000 I've cultivated a group over the years, and one of the things about doing your show is that I knew that if I was going to do it, and I brought this motherfucker around, I'm like, we'll change the whole tone of the show.
00:50:10.000 This show is just going to be a five-day silly fest.
00:50:13.000 I'm like, this is the perfect thing to do.
00:50:16.000 And also I knew that Brian Cowan holds up.
00:50:19.000 I knew no matter what happened.
00:50:20.000 Fucking asteroids could be coming and we'd be looking at each other.
00:50:23.000 Well, pal, it's been a good time, but I don't see us surviving that fucking thing.
00:50:27.000 I'm always ready to go out with a bang.
00:50:28.000 I will stand by your side no matter what.
00:50:31.000 That's how I think of friendship.
00:50:32.000 He's my four in the morning I got a body to get rid of guy.
00:50:36.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:50:37.000 It's true.
00:50:38.000 If I had a guy that I had to call up and go, dude, meet me.
00:50:43.000 I would take a risk for you.
00:50:44.000 Meet me in your parking lot.
00:50:46.000 No, I take that very seriously.
00:50:48.000 My real friends, I always say, I'll take a risk for you.
00:50:51.000 That hurts my feelings, Joe.
00:50:52.000 That hurts my feelings.
00:50:53.000 You too, sweetie.
00:50:54.000 But he can carry more.
00:50:56.000 He can carry your body more.
00:50:58.000 You might get uncomfortable walking through the desert.
00:51:00.000 I also got holes.
00:51:01.000 I got holes in stores of life.
00:51:04.000 Brian would have to stop for cigarette breaks.
00:51:06.000 I'd fuck the evidence away.
00:51:08.000 But you're not just looking for someone who'd be cool with the fact that you had a body.
00:51:12.000 Right.
00:51:12.000 It'd be someone who'd be helpful in getting...
00:51:15.000 Oh yeah, know exactly how to get rid of it.
00:51:17.000 You gotta go into mission mode.
00:51:18.000 You gotta get rid of that fucking body because that's the way it is.
00:51:21.000 You don't want it to become a fossil either.
00:51:24.000 It's like Jimmy Burke's friend who comes home, his girlfriend is having a fight with her boyfriend.
00:51:32.000 Our boyfriend is hitting his daughter.
00:51:33.000 He comes home and his daughter's in a fight with her boyfriend in the backyard and the boyfriend starts hitting her.
00:51:39.000 He comes out and he's a construction worker.
00:51:41.000 Can you back up one step?
00:51:44.000 No, not that.
00:51:45.000 I don't understand the story.
00:51:47.000 Okay, so the story is...
00:51:48.000 So my buddy, my buddy, my buddy...
00:51:51.000 Your buddy?
00:51:51.000 Is it your buddy?
00:51:52.000 My buddy grows up with a guy named...
00:51:56.000 Who gives a fuck what his name is?
00:51:58.000 What happened?
00:51:59.000 Comes home.
00:52:00.000 His daughter is in the backyard with a boyfriend and they're fighting.
00:52:03.000 They're having a fight.
00:52:04.000 The boyfriend starts hitting his daughter.
00:52:08.000 Right.
00:52:09.000 He goes out in the backyard and tries to break it up.
00:52:12.000 The boyfriend, I guess, gets smart with him.
00:52:14.000 He kills the boyfriend with his bare hands.
00:52:16.000 He fucking kills him.
00:52:18.000 Whoa.
00:52:19.000 He punches him to death.
00:52:20.000 Now, he says to his daughter, go inside, and he's got to get rid of the body.
00:52:24.000 So he calls his buddy.
00:52:25.000 Wait a minute.
00:52:26.000 Should you be telling this story?
00:52:27.000 Yeah, it's fine.
00:52:28.000 It's fine.
00:52:28.000 Are people in jail?
00:52:29.000 Yeah, they're in jail.
00:52:31.000 And this was a long time ago.
00:52:32.000 So he calls his huge friend Bozo.
00:52:36.000 Bozo was a knuckle breaker who, his claim to fame was he had the longest tongue on the planet.
00:52:41.000 He would stick his tongue out and you'd go, oh Jesus Christ, like that.
00:52:44.000 He'd scare people with his fucking tongue that was the size of a cow's.
00:52:47.000 Anyway, Bozo's a giant man.
00:52:49.000 Bozo shows up.
00:52:50.000 Bozo goes, I know what we're going to do.
00:52:52.000 Calm down.
00:52:53.000 He goes, what?
00:52:53.000 He goes, I'll be right back.
00:52:55.000 Bozo goes and gets a dolly.
00:52:57.000 He takes the dolly.
00:52:58.000 He ties the guy to the dolly.
00:53:00.000 They fucking, in the middle of the night, they take this guy, they dolly him to a gas station round the corner.
00:53:07.000 And they leave him behind the gas station.
00:53:09.000 Oops, you dropped something.
00:53:10.000 Then they come running back like, he he he, we did it.
00:53:12.000 Good job, buddy.
00:53:13.000 Blood brothers.
00:53:13.000 I helped you get rid of a body.
00:53:15.000 Well, here's what they didn't think, because they were a little drunk to calm down.
00:53:19.000 The guy's hand had dragged along the ground.
00:53:23.000 So when the cops showed up, they brought the dogs.
00:53:26.000 And the dogs went, oh, well, let's just follow where the dogs go.
00:53:31.000 And the dogs go, and they just went around the corner and found themselves a little house and started barking.
00:53:37.000 Cops were like, knock, knock, knock.
00:53:39.000 Hey, you guys dolly a body around the fucking thing?
00:53:43.000 Ah, sorry, we did it!
00:53:45.000 You're going to jail and so are fucking you, pal.
00:53:48.000 And they did some time.
00:53:50.000 They didn't do 25 to life.
00:53:51.000 They did some fucking, I don't know.
00:53:53.000 So your point is, you don't want any old dude getting rid of a body.
00:53:57.000 You gotta have a plan!
00:53:58.000 You want someone to start through this shit.
00:53:59.000 Beforehand!
00:54:00.000 Yeah, you gotta think through this shit.
00:54:02.000 You gotta rehearse this shit.
00:54:03.000 You gotta get his body out before it stinks.
00:54:05.000 Yeah.
00:54:06.000 It's important.
00:54:06.000 Lentac blenders, guys.
00:54:08.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:54:10.000 One blender at a time.
00:54:11.000 Well, there was that guy that fed the body through, I guess, he had a hog farm and fed the body first through a tree shredder and shot all of it into the hog thing and the hogs ate it, but they still ended up catching the guy.
00:54:24.000 Still ending up catching.
00:54:25.000 You know, this reminds me of that link, like Joe said, you sent me a link recently of like the great...
00:54:29.000 Cannibals of the Wild West.
00:54:31.000 The great cannibals of the West.
00:54:32.000 Yeah.
00:54:32.000 Which is fascinating.
00:54:33.000 Wild shit, isn't it?
00:54:34.000 What's that?
00:54:35.000 Like the Donner Party?
00:54:36.000 Yeah.
00:54:37.000 Well, like similar.
00:54:39.000 Similar, but one of them was a guy who, his wife got killed by the Cherokees, so he went on a rampage and just killed a bunch of Indians and ate their liver, and they called him Liver Eating Johnson.
00:54:49.000 Liver Eating Johnson.
00:54:49.000 And he just, he would kill guys and eat their liver.
00:54:52.000 Now that was the Sidney Pollack movie.
00:54:54.000 That's a serial killer who'd been fantasizing about that his whole life.
00:54:56.000 He's like, they killed my wife before I could eat her liver.
00:54:59.000 He later became the sheriff.
00:55:01.000 Like, he later became the sheriff of Red Lodge.
00:55:06.000 Is it Red Lodge?
00:55:06.000 Something.
00:55:08.000 He was, yeah.
00:55:09.000 I think he was the sheriff in Red Lodge.
00:55:11.000 And then...
00:55:12.000 Sidney Pollack made that movie, the great movie, Jeremiah Johnson.
00:55:15.000 And Jeremiah Johnson was based loosely off of the legend of Liver Eating Johnson.
00:55:20.000 And it was fun about Liver Eating Johnson.
00:55:22.000 Liver Eating Johnson used to cut firewood.
00:55:26.000 For the boats on the Missouri brakes.
00:55:29.000 Wow.
00:55:30.000 Where we did our float.
00:55:31.000 Holy shit.
00:55:32.000 Which brings this whole deal way full circle.
00:55:34.000 In a weird way.
00:55:36.000 Johnson also had an 8 inch tongue.
00:55:38.000 I don't know how that works.
00:55:41.000 Wait a minute!
00:55:42.000 Your stories, man, about the Old West were so great.
00:55:46.000 You know so many cool fucking stories.
00:55:50.000 Like Brian, when we got back, when we were on the boat, and you were like, oh my god, the last day of being on the water was so fucking cold.
00:55:59.000 I didn't even notice, because Steve kept telling me all these cool-ass fucking Indian stories.
00:56:04.000 You know what's funny about that?
00:56:05.000 How this guy got away, this guy hid in a beaver's den, and this guy, they told him you could run naked, you can try to get away if you can run away.
00:56:14.000 I was so frozen.
00:56:15.000 I saw you, and it was so cold that you had, like, there were icicles on your beard, and you were just smiling the whole time.
00:56:21.000 I was like, how is he not cold right now?
00:56:23.000 So you did your job.
00:56:24.000 You distracted him.
00:56:25.000 I was enjoying myself, man.
00:56:26.000 I never bothered.
00:56:27.000 I mean, knowing that the cold was only like a five-day thing.
00:56:30.000 I was like, as long as it's only a five-day thing.
00:56:32.000 And when we were walking around in the day, it wasn't bad.
00:56:35.000 As long as you have gloves on, I mean, if you're done upright, if you're wearing the right shit, it's not bad.
00:56:40.000 It's not that big a deal.
00:56:42.000 It's like a paradox almost where...
00:56:45.000 When you get uncomfortable and cold like that, some party wants you to stand there.
00:56:51.000 But the only time you're actually comfortable is when you're out screwing around.
00:56:55.000 You're comfortable as soon as you start moving around.
00:56:58.000 But there's something in the minute you stop, something inhabits you and makes you want to just stand there and be cold.
00:57:05.000 And it's like the guys that are good about it are the guys that you look and instead of hanging around talking, they're just walking up and down a little hill.
00:57:13.000 And they're totally fine.
00:57:14.000 Well, it's weird how we got sweaty, even though it's like nine degrees out.
00:57:19.000 A lot of times we're fucking sweaty, moving around a lot.
00:57:22.000 That's why cotton kills, right?
00:57:24.000 You don't want to get sweat.
00:57:25.000 You've got to have wool.
00:57:26.000 The opposite of that.
00:57:27.000 Are you familiar with paradoxical?
00:57:28.000 You ever hear of paradoxical undressing?
00:57:30.000 No.
00:57:30.000 It's like when people find hypothermia.
00:57:34.000 Victims of hypothermia, they'll often shed their clothes, but in erratic ways.
00:57:40.000 Taking jewelry off.
00:57:43.000 Like taking one sock off.
00:57:45.000 But there's this thing that happens where you spend, like your body, when you start getting cold, your body spends a lot of energy.
00:57:53.000 It constricts certain blood vessels and stops the flow of blood out to your extremities, like to the tip of your nose.
00:58:01.000 You know when you get cold, the tip of your nose will get kind of numb and whitish.
00:58:04.000 Your fingers get that way.
00:58:05.000 Like your body's working really hard to stave off the heat loss, so it doesn't want to send as much blood out to places that lose blood easily.
00:58:13.000 But as you tire and you start to peter out, that gives way.
00:58:19.000 Your body can't expend the energy necessary to do that.
00:58:21.000 And it opens those up.
00:58:23.000 And it's a rush of heat.
00:58:25.000 So it's like your fingers have gotten very cold.
00:58:28.000 Your limbs have gotten very cold.
00:58:29.000 Your face has gotten very cold.
00:58:30.000 And all of a sudden your body's like, I can't do it anymore.
00:58:32.000 And all that hot blood rushes out of those things and people apparently get this feeling of intense heat.
00:58:37.000 Right before they go.
00:58:38.000 Yeah, and so they'll find someone, and it's always like, you know, he's got some clothes over here, and his wedding ring's laying over that way, and you know.
00:58:46.000 Fuck.
00:58:47.000 Wedding rings burn.
00:58:51.000 You know what, man?
00:58:52.000 I was down fishing in Florida, and I got bit up by black flies real bad, and for the first time since I got married, I took my wedding ring off for a day.
00:59:02.000 It felt so good.
00:59:04.000 I got like a guilty conscious feeling.
00:59:07.000 And I had to put it back on even though it's uncomfortable because I just felt guilty.
00:59:10.000 And then I get here and I'm looking through my bag and find my wife's wedding ring in my backpack because like a week ago she didn't know where to put it and I put it in my backpack and I call her and be like, do you even know?
00:59:21.000 Do you even wonder where your wedding ring is at?
00:59:24.000 You just hear a bunch of dudes in the background, come back to the hot tub!
00:59:27.000 I didn't know we had a hot tub in our house!
00:59:29.000 And I'm sitting here like trying to scratch under mine, you know?
00:59:32.000 And hers is just in some unknown location to her.
00:59:35.000 I left my wedding ring at a spa where I got a massage from a dude.
00:59:42.000 So I go.
00:59:43.000 I get massages from dudes now.
00:59:45.000 I gave up.
00:59:45.000 Because girls can't do it hard enough.
00:59:47.000 They can't.
00:59:47.000 I need deep tissue.
00:59:50.000 It's brutal.
00:59:50.000 It's painful.
00:59:51.000 It doesn't feel good.
00:59:52.000 But you've got to have a man doing it.
00:59:53.000 Because women, they're not strong enough to do it.
00:59:55.000 Some women are.
00:59:56.000 They use their elbows really well.
00:59:58.000 I have to have a man.
01:00:00.000 He has to have a mustache.
01:00:01.000 Borderline violent.
01:00:02.000 Is that hard to come with a guy though?
01:00:04.000 It's not that hard.
01:00:05.000 So anyway, I go, and I come back, and she always makes fun of me for getting massaged by dudes, right?
01:00:11.000 And then I go, fuck, I left my wedding ring there.
01:00:14.000 So I run back, I get the wedding ring, I come back home, and she goes, was it in his ass?
01:00:21.000 That's hilarious.
01:00:23.000 That's so awesome.
01:00:24.000 Oh yeah, it was fucking hilarious.
01:00:26.000 By the way, did you actually go to Dick Party in My Mouth and see what that was?
01:00:29.000 No, I just made that up.
01:00:30.000 Go check it out.
01:00:31.000 Is it real?
01:00:32.000 Yeah, go check it out.
01:00:32.000 It's hilarious.
01:00:34.000 Powerful.
01:00:34.000 Dick Party.
01:00:34.000 We were talking about who is domain name privacy, that when you register a domain, you can also register it anonymously, so people don't know who owns dickpartyinmymouth.com.
01:00:45.000 Yeah, they're going to be surprised though.
01:00:47.000 Why was it surprising?
01:00:48.000 Because it's pretty shocking.
01:00:49.000 Okay.
01:00:50.000 I was going to tell you at the beginning.
01:00:51.000 Pretty shocking?
01:00:52.000 Yeah.
01:00:52.000 I would think with the URL, I mean, like, how shocking would it be?
01:00:56.000 What's your next show?
01:00:58.000 It's all about the Constitution.
01:01:01.000 How weird is this?
01:01:03.000 Oh, it is?
01:01:04.000 Oh, it's deskwad.tv.
01:01:06.000 That's hilarious.
01:01:07.000 Did you just transfer it?
01:01:08.000 I bought that during the commercial and signed up and everything.
01:01:11.000 That's a good move, man.
01:01:12.000 That's a smart move.
01:01:13.000 How much does something like that cost?
01:01:14.000 13 bucks.
01:01:15.000 Because I used to keep on code ROGAN and save 10%.
01:01:18.000 Hey, guys.
01:01:19.000 Guys, while we're doing this...
01:01:20.000 Are you not going to fucking pump up your shows?
01:01:22.000 No, I would never do that.
01:01:23.000 Are you going to try to tell people where you're going to do comedy?
01:01:25.000 No!
01:01:25.000 If you're happening to be in Edmonton April 25th, 26th, 27th, 28th, then come to the comic strip if you're there.
01:01:31.000 I mean, but otherwise, don't.
01:01:33.000 Steve, you're the only hunting show that I know of that shows on a regular basis.
01:01:38.000 You'll show if you get skunked.
01:01:40.000 Yeah, we call them skunkers.
01:01:42.000 He'll have a whole episode.
01:01:45.000 There was an episode where you were going after Awadad, was it?
01:01:49.000 That one, you got so close, but it was too dark for you to...
01:01:52.000 We've done four skunkers.
01:01:56.000 Skunker means you can't get nothing.
01:01:58.000 I thought you were talking about getting skunked.
01:01:59.000 No, no, no.
01:02:00.000 Skunked like in zero.
01:02:02.000 Yeah, skunk is not getting anything.
01:02:04.000 The first time we filmed a skunker, I'll stop using that lingo.
01:02:09.000 The first time we filmed an unsuccessful hunt, I was very nervous and I was trying to make the case that we wouldn't air it.
01:02:18.000 I don't know why.
01:02:19.000 Now it seems stupid, but at the time it seemed like a good idea that we wouldn't air it.
01:02:23.000 And then one time we went out, we went to hunt mountain lions with hounds, a friend of mine, and went and spent six days hunting, didn't get anything.
01:02:31.000 Came back, went back out again, spent I think seven days hunting, didn't get anything.
01:02:37.000 And at that point, we just had to...
01:02:39.000 So then we cut that into one.
01:02:40.000 And oftentimes it winds up being that...
01:02:44.000 Not oftentimes, it's almost like the norm in a way, is people will then pick those out as their favorite shows.
01:02:49.000 Really?
01:02:50.000 Yeah.
01:02:50.000 And I think it gets back to that thing I was talking about earlier, like, is that whole thing of, like, courting uncertainty.
01:02:58.000 Do you know what I mean?
01:02:59.000 Yeah.
01:02:59.000 And, like, things that are challenging and things you won't figure out.
01:03:02.000 So I think people like to see that represented.
01:03:04.000 Also, I'll say that there's a big rift in...
01:03:09.000 In hunting as experienced by the American sportsman, in hunting as seen on hunting television, you know, for me growing up, like, we would start hunting deer with a bow on October 1, and you could hunt deer right up almost to rifle season,
01:03:27.000 which was November 15th, and you had 10 days to hunt with a rifle, then you'd pick your bow back up, and you'd hunt to December 31st.
01:03:34.000 And it would be plausible that you would hunt pretty hard through that whole thing and never get a deer.
01:03:41.000 It was just a thing that happened, man.
01:03:43.000 You would...
01:03:43.000 Like, you know, most of you would get a deer, but it would be...
01:03:45.000 You might not.
01:03:46.000 And there's a lot of guys right now.
01:03:47.000 Right now it's turkey season.
01:03:48.000 There's a lot of guys around this country facing the prospect that they worked pretty hard and hunted five, six, seven days and they won't get a turkey.
01:03:55.000 So I think that people...
01:03:57.000 And I think that the assumption is always that people do want to get something and they do.
01:04:03.000 And so when they're watching something like...
01:04:05.000 When they're watching television, it's a form of escapism.
01:04:07.000 And so you want to see people achieve...
01:04:10.000 What you wish you achieved.
01:04:13.000 You'd want to go and see like, I dream of killing a big buck.
01:04:16.000 I want to watch a guy shoot 10 big bucks.
01:04:20.000 And that's like one form of entertainment.
01:04:23.000 But I think at the same time, people like to see in some way their life reflected back to them.
01:04:28.000 I think more and more people actually are going the route that you just described.
01:04:32.000 They want to see that authentic experience, especially because a lot of reality TV now is very unrealistic.
01:04:39.000 Hey man, you've got to pull up to that mic.
01:04:42.000 It's okay.
01:04:42.000 It's so hard for the folks.
01:04:44.000 But a lot of reality TV right now is not really reality TV. It's scripted.
01:04:47.000 And so there is something completely unscripted.
01:04:50.000 You know it's real if you're watching Meat Eater and you don't get anything.
01:04:54.000 You know that's a real show.
01:04:57.000 You know that really happened.
01:04:58.000 It wasn't like we actually got a bunch of stuff.
01:05:00.000 It's got to be better to just show that sometimes you don't.
01:05:03.000 Exactly.
01:05:04.000 And that's the thing.
01:05:05.000 You talk to anybody who's hunted for any amount of time, and a huge part of the hunting is about going out with the guys that you're going hunting with.
01:05:15.000 It's about the experience.
01:05:16.000 It's not about what you bring home in terms of the game.
01:05:21.000 It's what you bring home up here and in here.
01:05:24.000 Yeah, I think it's important to show that you don't always get something, because it's a real show.
01:05:31.000 Everything you're doing is real, you know, and that's part of the whole thing.
01:05:36.000 It's got to be a part of the whole presentation.
01:05:39.000 It also lends to the drama.
01:05:40.000 Yeah!
01:05:41.000 When there are some shows you don't get it, so now...
01:05:43.000 That Our Dad Sheep one was a great one, even though you didn't get one.
01:05:47.000 It's just like seeing you in the dusk, where it was just getting like, you're like, I need five more minutes.
01:05:52.000 Five more minutes of fucking light, and you just couldn't get it.
01:05:55.000 You're like, shit!
01:05:56.000 You had it.
01:05:58.000 You had it right in your sights.
01:06:00.000 That's real.
01:06:01.000 The mountain lion thing is real.
01:06:02.000 And I wanted to talk to you about the mountain lion thing for a couple of years.
01:06:05.000 I want to add one thing to what you were saying.
01:06:06.000 I do want to talk about the mountain lion thing, because the jaguar thing, too.
01:06:11.000 We did have a guy email one time.
01:06:13.000 All the emails you get, like people saying, I love that you show some failure.
01:06:16.000 We had an email from a guy who was vowing he'll never watch the show again.
01:06:21.000 Because he has enough failure in his life and doesn't want to see other people fail.
01:06:31.000 That's hilarious.
01:06:31.000 That's so awesome.
01:06:32.000 I gotta appreciate him.
01:06:33.000 That's so honest.
01:06:34.000 Yeah, me too.
01:06:34.000 I gotta appreciate that guy.
01:06:38.000 That's true.
01:06:38.000 I mean, it is a fucking TV show.
01:06:41.000 I'll tell you what, I watch Ted Nugent every week.
01:06:43.000 God damn it, he never misses.
01:06:44.000 That's like Steve Byrne's joke where a girl calls up and she's like, you'll never guess what almost happened.
01:06:48.000 He's like, nothing, because it was almost click.
01:06:51.000 Ted Nugent shoots, he'll shoot three deer with a bow and arrow in the first five minutes of his show.
01:06:57.000 And I'm not bullshitting.
01:06:58.000 He shot three deer with bows and arrows.
01:07:01.000 Yeah.
01:07:01.000 I mean, it's...
01:07:02.000 And my favorite part about it, after he shoots a deer, he goes, can you believe that?
01:07:08.000 Can you believe it?
01:07:08.000 You just fucking did...
01:07:09.000 You just shot one five minutes ago.
01:07:11.000 God.
01:07:12.000 I don't know what kind of limits Ted Nugent has in his backyard.
01:07:16.000 I don't know if it's like a land management issue, you know, where you can make the call if you've got a high fence operation in Texas, like how many you decide to take out.
01:07:25.000 Yeah, you can do your own management.
01:07:27.000 Yeah, that's management.
01:07:29.000 He's sitting up there in a fucking tree stand, blasting deer with his bow and arrow.
01:07:33.000 Yeah, there's a lot of variability.
01:07:35.000 It surprises people that don't have a familiarity with hunting.
01:07:40.000 One, it surprises people that there's regulations at all, sometimes.
01:07:43.000 I have friends in New York who are pleasantly surprised to hear that wild game is managed.
01:07:49.000 Right.
01:07:50.000 And I think also, beyond that, it's surprising to people the variations from the different states, their strategy in how they're managing it.
01:07:59.000 I think a lot of it comes down to how much the state's public.
01:08:03.000 And, like, Texas, they even got rid of school trust lands.
01:08:06.000 So, like, it used to be that one in every 36 sections belonged to the state.
01:08:11.000 And they could use that to either build schools on or use that land to fund school Construction and they threw mineral leasing or timber rights or whatever.
01:08:22.000 And at a point, Texas even scrapped that.
01:08:23.000 They even sold that off into private interest.
01:08:26.000 So it's like, there really is, like, public trust wildlife isn't as vital in a place like Texas because there's not publicly owned land with publicly owned wildlife on it.
01:08:37.000 That's kind of crazy, isn't it?
01:08:39.000 You mean everything is probably...
01:08:41.000 You guys have humongous national forests.
01:08:44.000 There's a lot of public trust land and public trust wildlife in a place like California.
01:08:50.000 The government plays a much stronger hand and a much more detail-oriented hand in what's happening in all this stuff, what is our harvest like, than in some states where it kind of tends to be like, well, it's your land, you figure it out.
01:09:03.000 Your show on the mountain lions, one of the specific reasons I wanted to bring that up is because the idea of hunting with hogs, or hunting with dogs rather, that wouldn't work at all.
01:09:15.000 Two hogs?
01:09:17.000 I cannot get a mountain lion with these stupid hogs!
01:09:22.000 God!
01:09:24.000 Dude, I'm sorry my iPhone rode hogs.
01:09:26.000 I meant you need trained dogs.
01:09:29.000 Fuck, man!
01:09:30.000 I'm a mountain lion hunter!
01:09:33.000 I told people I'm a hunter!
01:09:34.000 Now I look like an asshole on Facebook!
01:09:36.000 I named my hog Fido!
01:09:40.000 In California, you can't hunt with dogs anymore.
01:09:44.000 And some people are concerned about that.
01:09:47.000 I've heard people say that they're worried that the mountain lion population is going to get too strong.
01:09:51.000 If they do that, especially people who've lost dogs or who know people who've been, you know, fucking bikers and shit that get taken out.
01:09:59.000 But California doesn't allow it anymore.
01:10:01.000 Coincidentally, I saw a mountain lion.
01:10:04.000 Last week in Santa Barbara.
01:10:06.000 Did you really?
01:10:06.000 Yeah.
01:10:07.000 Small mountain lion.
01:10:08.000 Wasn't very big.
01:10:09.000 I thought it was a coyote at first.
01:10:11.000 You know how coyotes, they move kind of stiff?
01:10:13.000 This thing had this bounce to it.
01:10:15.000 I saw the tail.
01:10:16.000 That's a good way of putting it.
01:10:17.000 Wasn't a bobcat?
01:10:18.000 No.
01:10:19.000 It was a tail.
01:10:20.000 A long tail.
01:10:20.000 It was a mountain lion.
01:10:21.000 It was probably 70 pounds.
01:10:23.000 Wow.
01:10:24.000 I think you're seeing, and I don't mean to say that, I don't want to sound like taking Cheap shots, you know, at California or anything, but you're seeing a pretty, a real erosion of, you know,
01:10:39.000 hunting rights, like a gradual, not even gradual, a pretty steady erosion of hunting rights in California.
01:10:44.000 There was a debate, but that's not...
01:10:46.000 Because it's easy, because there's a thing that, there's a thing, I mentioned this somewhere in something I wrote, where you can go to Americans, like you can go to the American public and say like, Yes or no?
01:10:57.000 Like, do you approve of regulated hunting, okay?
01:11:02.000 And you get, the vast majority of Americans, it's something ridiculous, like 74% or 75% of Americans will say like, yes, I approve of hunting.
01:11:10.000 But then you start asking them specifics.
01:11:14.000 You know, like, well, how about hunting with dogs?
01:11:16.000 Right.
01:11:17.000 Right.
01:11:17.000 And then those numbers start to go down.
01:11:19.000 Right.
01:11:20.000 When you start...
01:11:21.000 Because you can kind of...
01:11:22.000 It's easy to sell people on the idea.
01:11:25.000 It's easy to sell people who've never seen a hunting dog or never had experience with a hunting dog, have never laid eyes on a lion.
01:11:32.000 It's easy to sell them on the idea that somehow there's no challenge in it.
01:11:36.000 Right.
01:11:36.000 And so then you can...
01:11:38.000 A way to chip away, like a way to chip away at...
01:11:42.000 Liberty, like personal liberty and stuff, is just to do one little thing at a time.
01:11:47.000 We'll do this, and we'll do that, we'll do this, and we'll do that.
01:11:49.000 And so there'll never be a thing like, we'll ban hunting.
01:11:51.000 It'll just be that you can't hunt on this kind of land.
01:11:55.000 You can't hunt this kind of animal this way.
01:11:57.000 Well, in fact, we don't want you hunting that kind of animal at all.
01:11:59.000 And you see that in certain places.
01:12:01.000 Colorado's had some experience with that.
01:12:03.000 You got the lead ammo ban in the California Condor range that they're trying to expand statewide, so you couldn't use lead ammo to hunt at all.
01:12:11.000 Even in places where there are no condors.
01:12:13.000 I heard a big debate about this mountain lion issue, and one of the things that the guy from the Fish and Game Wildlife Service said is, what you guys don't realize is if you're actually a preservationist, the majority of money That we collect to preserve the land you like to hike in comes from hunters.
01:12:32.000 It comes from hunting licenses.
01:12:35.000 That's where the Fish and Wildlife Service and these different organizations that are responsible for maintenance of the land that is hunted, hiked on, and camped on Some crazy amount, 95%, some crazy amount, I can't remember the percentage,
01:12:50.000 comes from hunters and the dues and fees they have to pay to hunt that land.
01:12:56.000 So I think that the debate has to be couched in those terms, too.
01:13:00.000 If you really wanted to get rid of hunters, we wouldn't have revenue to actually maintain Well, I think there's also this need to appease a certain liberal part of the population that is very uncomfortable with hunting in the first place and would like to look at people hunting with dogs as,
01:13:17.000 okay, Jesus Christ, that's barbaric.
01:13:19.000 You're sicking dogs on them and then you're shooting them.
01:13:21.000 It's a poor defenseless animal.
01:13:22.000 I understand.
01:13:23.000 But there's, especially when it comes to predators, there's a population management issue that they're not willing to address.
01:13:29.000 And if you don't address that, you're gonna deal with it in the suburbs, okay?
01:13:33.000 They just shot a fucking mountain lion with a tranquilizer dart in Glendale the other day.
01:13:36.000 Yeah, in the news.
01:13:38.000 And they killed that one in Santa Monica a year ago that was 90 fucking pounds.
01:13:42.000 I saw one in Santa Barbara the other day.
01:13:44.000 I mean, I'm not comfortable, like, with those things, like, getting more popular.
01:13:49.000 Yeah, I'm never comfortable with terms like overpopulated because I don't know really how to define it, but...
01:13:59.000 Overpopulated in the sense that you're going to wind up seeing impacts that might be counter to what it is you're going after.
01:14:07.000 In fringe areas, you might lose species to predation and have predation have a serious effect on species that you maybe will want back at some point.
01:14:18.000 Isn't that what happened with wolves in Yellowstone?
01:14:20.000 Isn't that what is happening?
01:14:21.000 Yeah, for sure.
01:14:23.000 You're seeing a radical, radical decline.
01:14:26.000 A radical, very localized decline in elk and moose.
01:14:34.000 And it's hard for people.
01:14:37.000 If you look at a map of the country and what used to be wolf territory, and at the time of European contact, it was wolf country.
01:14:45.000 The entire nation was in some way or another had wolves.
01:14:48.000 Not the entire place, but a lot of it had wolves.
01:14:50.000 Now, let's say you're a guy and you live in Colorado, all right?
01:14:57.000 And you hear that they're hunting wolves in Montana.
01:14:59.000 You're probably thinking, but we don't even have wolves in Colorado.
01:15:02.000 Or we do, but there's not many and it's kind of controversial whether there's a stable breeding population or not.
01:15:07.000 And you're telling me that they're killing them right up in Montana.
01:15:09.000 Because it's hard for people to visualize the localized impact of these things.
01:15:15.000 So you can have too many wolves...
01:15:18.000 In Montana, and then jump down through Wyoming and enter Colorado, and you could have not enough.
01:15:24.000 You know?
01:15:25.000 Why is that?
01:15:26.000 The wolves, I guess they stay within a certain territory.
01:15:29.000 They stay within a certain territory, and they have a really, I mean, they have a profound effect on stuff.
01:15:33.000 You gotta think, like...
01:15:35.000 Have you guys been to Yellowstone National Park?
01:15:37.000 Yeah, when I was a kid.
01:15:38.000 Yellowstone National Park, you know, the last, like, Yellowstone National Park was hunted for, you know, 9 or 10,000 years.
01:15:44.000 I think the oldest artifact they found that they have reliably dated from Yellowstone, something like a spear point from 9,000 years ago.
01:15:50.000 That was mine.
01:15:51.000 Yeah, it was Joe's.
01:15:53.000 But the last 100 years, no one's hunted it.
01:15:54.000 That's kind of a lie.
01:15:56.000 When Yellowstone Park became a park, there was still an Indian war.
01:15:59.000 The Nez Perce went through there and killed some tourists while they were fleeing the US military.
01:16:05.000 After that, they banned hunting in Yellowstone National Park.
01:16:07.000 Anyone who goes to Yellowstone National Park now will see the way that elk and everything just has no concern for humans.
01:16:14.000 Wow.
01:16:14.000 They've ruled out that humans are troublesome.
01:16:16.000 So you had this long absence of no wolves in that ecosystem.
01:16:20.000 And when you put wolves back in, it's just taking those animals a really long time to figure out.
01:16:26.000 To get back to knowing what it's going to be.
01:16:30.000 And so we had inflated numbers of elk.
01:16:33.000 Some would argue inflated numbers of elk.
01:16:35.000 Some would argue inflated numbers of moose.
01:16:36.000 And when the wolves came back, it's just...
01:16:39.000 I mean, just plowed them into the ground.
01:16:43.000 There's mountain ranges that maybe had 9,000 elk, now they're down to less than 2,000.
01:16:48.000 I was talking with a guy from a conservation organization that deals with elk, and they're looking at the very Real probability of if the wolf situation ever does get under control in that area, of having to reintroduce elk into some mountain ranges because there's a paucity of breeding age females.
01:17:05.000 Oh my god, because they're all getting killed by wolves.
01:17:09.000 But you still have groups that are trying to stop the wolf hunts in Montana and Idaho.
01:17:15.000 Well, the problem is also, I heard, you can't shoot your way out of this problem when it comes to wolves, in fact.
01:17:20.000 I'm surprised to hear that.
01:17:22.000 Yeah, but then that poison's boxes and all that.
01:17:25.000 Drones.
01:17:26.000 You're talking, Joe Ronald.
01:17:27.000 Look, I've never been a fan of wolves.
01:17:29.000 People try to pretend they're dogs and get all attached to them because it looks like your collie.
01:17:34.000 That's a fucking wolf, and that'll eat you.
01:17:36.000 And they've eaten people before.
01:17:37.000 In fact, I told a story on the podcast about France.
01:17:40.000 France?
01:17:41.000 Did I say it, Brian?
01:17:42.000 France?
01:17:42.000 Did you say France?
01:17:43.000 The wolves that used to come in there.
01:17:44.000 40 fucking people before they cornered them and killed them.
01:17:47.000 I mean, they've always eaten people.
01:17:49.000 I mean, I don't think there's any real argument to be made that there's a human risk.
01:17:53.000 Not yet.
01:17:54.000 No, but there's an argument to be made that there's an ecological risk.
01:17:58.000 I think there's still a human risk.
01:17:59.000 I think if you get around a big pack of them, and a child happens to be in that area while that's all going down, someone sneaks out of a house, and they have a farm.
01:18:10.000 There's a story I read online about this woman who was watching these wolves tear apart sheep in her backyard.
01:18:17.000 It was fucking wild, man.
01:18:19.000 They don't play around.
01:18:20.000 She said they got into this...
01:18:21.000 They had a pen of sheep, and they got in, and there was like four or five wolves were just running through, ripping these sheep apart.
01:18:28.000 And you just heard these horrific noises of tearing and growling and...
01:18:33.000 Horrible sheep screams.
01:18:36.000 And it's all just...
01:18:37.000 And she's looking out the window watching this going, holy fuck.
01:18:42.000 Imagine that.
01:18:42.000 That's going down in your yard.
01:18:43.000 And then they know that this is a place where food is.
01:18:46.000 How big is a Timberwolf?
01:18:47.000 They got up to like 120, 130 pounds.
01:18:49.000 Yeah, I think bigger than that.
01:18:50.000 Well, the real big ones that they're experiencing now, I mean, these deer are getting very large from eating all these elk and eating all these deer that didn't know they were coming.
01:18:59.000 There's people that are shooting them.
01:19:00.000 They're taking pictures of them.
01:19:01.000 You would swear it's a Photoshop.
01:19:03.000 These are enormous fucking wolves.
01:19:06.000 You're like, guys holding them and the thing looks as long as them.
01:19:09.000 I mean, I don't know what it weighs, but it's more than 150 pounds.
01:19:12.000 They're big dogs or big wolves.
01:19:15.000 I actually, like, you know, I don't want to get rid of all the wolves, man.
01:19:18.000 Like, I support wolf recovery.
01:19:20.000 Cam, you deal with wildlife, not so much wildlife politics, but sort of like public perception, public opinion.
01:19:26.000 Would you say that, I mean...
01:19:28.000 Hunters are being billed as wanting to destroy wolves, but I think that's not what I hear.
01:19:33.000 No, it's not about destroying the wolf.
01:19:34.000 Pull that mic up, brother.
01:19:35.000 Pull that mic up.
01:19:36.000 It's about getting that balance back.
01:19:38.000 That's the thing.
01:19:39.000 So you've got these groups that are out there trying to stop the wolf hunt.
01:19:42.000 They want to put the wolf back on the endangered species list, even though the wolf is no longer endangered.
01:19:46.000 The wolf isn't threatened in these areas.
01:19:48.000 Again, these local areas that we're talking about here in the state of Idaho or the state of Montana.
01:19:55.000 There is a way to try to manage the wildlife so you get that balance.
01:19:59.000 But right now, what you've seen is sort of, it's out of whack.
01:20:03.000 And right now, the wolf has the advantage.
01:20:04.000 And we're continuing to give the advantage to the wolf in some of these states.
01:20:07.000 And I think that's why you're trying to, that's where that battle comes in right now.
01:20:12.000 No one wants to see, I don't think anybody wants to see wolves.
01:20:14.000 There's just people, these unrealistic urban people, and that's really what it boils down to.
01:20:19.000 The people that are really, almost all the people that are against hunting or against the idea of wildlife management, almost all of them live in cities.
01:20:31.000 When people live in a place where you...
01:20:34.000 You have to contend with it.
01:20:35.000 Someone has to be the top predator.
01:20:37.000 And if it's not going to be a person, it's not going to be people, and you're living around these animals, it's going to be them.
01:20:43.000 And that's just the reality of the food chain of life.
01:20:46.000 If you're a meek person and you're wandering around through the woods and you stumble into a pack of hungry wolves and haven't seen an elk because they've decimated the population, They'll kill you.
01:20:55.000 I mean, that's reality.
01:20:57.000 Might not happen.
01:20:58.000 Might not happen, but it's happened before.
01:21:00.000 A woman died in Alaska recently.
01:21:02.000 She was killed by wolves.
01:21:04.000 She was also wearing an elk suit.
01:21:05.000 Yeah, but that was the first documented case in a long time.
01:21:07.000 Yeah, like 100 years, right?
01:21:09.000 In that state, I think that 95% of traditional wolf habitat in Alaska is still occupied by wolves.
01:21:20.000 Wow.
01:21:20.000 And they have very, very few fatalities.
01:21:23.000 I think that moose kill more people than anything else.
01:21:27.000 Yellowstone National Park, the greatest cause of injury in Yellowstone National Park is getting gored by a buffalo.
01:21:32.000 My parents live in Utah, in Park City.
01:21:35.000 You know what they always tell you, the locals?
01:21:36.000 They go, hey, be careful of moose.
01:21:39.000 Please don't think of them as deer.
01:21:41.000 Do not approach them.
01:21:42.000 And what do people do?
01:21:43.000 They're like, there's a moose!
01:21:44.000 Going to take a picture.
01:21:45.000 And the moose is like, nah, I'm going to trample you now.
01:21:47.000 People get killed by moose.
01:21:48.000 Yeah, they'll fuck you up.
01:21:50.000 You should say, urban areas, a lot of people who grow up in urban areas, only live in urban areas, have very unrealistic expectations of what animals are.
01:21:59.000 They have this anthropomorphic, you know, oh, it's thumper and it's bambi, and they don't understand.
01:22:04.000 No.
01:22:05.000 I just became a farmer now, so I have pigs and I have chickens.
01:22:11.000 It's so completely different to actually sit down and study these animals.
01:22:14.000 Are you doing it for a business?
01:22:17.000 Are you doing it for meat, to provide for yourself?
01:22:20.000 Yes, all of the above.
01:22:21.000 Eventually I like to get to the point where I can sell some, you know, we're doing heritage livestock and I was just discussing doing something like this recently.
01:22:31.000 I was like, it seems like if you have resources and you could get a plot of land and hire people to take care of it and grow it and have animals that you slaughter there and have food that you grow there, why wouldn't you do that?
01:22:43.000 If you could do that, why wouldn't you do that?
01:22:45.000 Right, absolutely.
01:22:46.000 But it drives me crazy to hear these people say, oh, but look, the pig is smiling, and the pig is happy, and the pig loves you, and how are you going to kill that pig and turn it into bacon?
01:22:56.000 I'm telling you, the pig doesn't love me.
01:22:58.000 The pig is a pig!
01:23:00.000 He might love you.
01:23:00.000 The pig doesn't know.
01:23:01.000 He might love you, too.
01:23:02.000 I mean, I'm a lovable guy, but...
01:23:04.000 Can I be honest with you?
01:23:05.000 Yes, you are.
01:23:07.000 We'll talk later.
01:23:07.000 A good way to look at it is...
01:23:08.000 Man thoughts.
01:23:09.000 We'll have some man thoughts together.
01:23:11.000 A good way to look at it is that pig is not going to live forever.
01:23:14.000 If you don't kill that pig, it's not going to turn into a fairy and cure cancer.
01:23:18.000 It's a fucking pig.
01:23:19.000 They live to be about 15 and then they die.
01:23:22.000 And when they die, if you don't eat them before they die, you lose all the delicious meat.
01:23:27.000 This pig, the pigs that I have on my farm would not exist.
01:23:32.000 Unless we were going to eat them.
01:23:33.000 That's the only reason why they're around.
01:23:34.000 By that logic, you could make your own kids and start eating them.
01:23:37.000 Well, we were talking about cannibalism earlier.
01:23:39.000 I made kids because where I live it gets cold.
01:23:42.000 See, I made kids for the free labor.
01:23:44.000 See, I've got, unlike Steve, I've got five.
01:23:46.000 And hell yeah, it's about doing the chores and all the stuff I don't want to do.
01:23:49.000 Get out there and mow my yard.
01:23:52.000 How many do you have, Joe?
01:23:53.000 Pull it up.
01:23:54.000 Three.
01:23:54.000 Oh, you have three?
01:23:55.000 Yeah.
01:23:56.000 So, you don't have the facility where you would do this.
01:24:02.000 No, no, I don't.
01:24:03.000 But I would think about buying a piece of land and just getting something popping up.
01:24:07.000 That's a good idea, man.
01:24:07.000 It'd look sweet because it'd be like prominent podcast host, comic, actor, and farmer.
01:24:13.000 I think it makes...
01:24:16.000 Well, I have chickens.
01:24:18.000 Just recently got chickens so that I could eat their eggs.
01:24:21.000 But I've been thinking about this for a while.
01:24:23.000 Everybody's worried about...
01:24:26.000 GMO foods, and everybody's worried about like, you know, Monsanto, and they're worried about what's organic, what's not organic, and what are the standards.
01:24:33.000 If you grow your own shit, you know exactly what it is.
01:24:36.000 And you can take care of your soil.
01:24:38.000 Italy, still.
01:24:39.000 Italy, if you go through...
01:24:40.000 I took a train from...
01:24:42.000 He's trying to become sophisticated again.
01:24:45.000 This will read into a story about someone famous.
01:24:48.000 When I went to Italy, I say Italy, everybody in their backyard grows their own food.
01:24:54.000 It's so common.
01:24:55.000 My grandfather used to do that.
01:24:56.000 People's backyards are gardens, man.
01:24:58.000 My grandfather did not have a big yard in New Jersey, but every part of the...
01:25:02.000 We got coconut water?
01:25:04.000 What do you want, man?
01:25:04.000 You want coffee?
01:25:05.000 Oh, yeah, I'll take coconut water.
01:25:06.000 You want a coffee?
01:25:06.000 You ever have bulletproof coffee?
01:25:08.000 Do you have bulletproof coffee?
01:25:09.000 Well, you explain it to me.
01:25:10.000 Yeah, bulletproof coffee is not just no mold.
01:25:14.000 Do we have any more?
01:25:14.000 I'll make some, but there's no more.
01:25:16.000 Okay, make some more, yeah.
01:25:16.000 I don't want trouble.
01:25:17.000 Son, it's not trouble.
01:25:19.000 We're here.
01:25:19.000 We're partying.
01:25:20.000 Let's get this freaking...
01:25:21.000 You want a beer?
01:25:21.000 Does anyone want a beer?
01:25:23.000 I beg your pardon, sir.
01:25:24.000 Yeah, a couple beers.
01:25:26.000 Hey, Jamie, bring out some beers, man.
01:25:28.000 Beer?
01:25:29.000 That's right, son.
01:25:30.000 Dick party.
01:25:32.000 What?
01:25:33.000 Dickpartyinyourmouth.com.
01:25:34.000 You said dick party.
01:25:35.000 Now I have a boner.
01:25:37.000 I forgot exactly what we were talking about.
01:25:39.000 Gardens and becoming a farmer?
01:25:42.000 The idea's been fucking around with me for the past couple of months.
01:25:46.000 I didn't know you got chickens, man.
01:25:47.000 So you could just have them right at your house.
01:25:49.000 Yeah, I built a chicken coop.
01:25:50.000 Do you have somebody taking care of it or is it just really easy?
01:25:52.000 No, it's not that hard.
01:25:53.000 I just built a planter.
01:25:55.000 I didn't.
01:25:56.000 Yeah, beers.
01:25:57.000 I had a planter built.
01:25:59.000 I just think it's a great idea.
01:26:00.000 And I think that the idea of relying on somebody else for your own food ultimately is like, why would you do that if you have the resources?
01:26:07.000 Yep.
01:26:07.000 You know?
01:26:08.000 And is there only one left?
01:26:10.000 Is that what it is?
01:26:11.000 Bring them all out.
01:26:14.000 The idea that we all rely on supermarkets.
01:26:18.000 You look at what happened with Hurricane Sandy.
01:26:20.000 New York got shut down.
01:26:22.000 I was talking to my buddy Tommy.
01:26:23.000 He's like, I had to drive hours just to be able to use my cell phone.
01:26:26.000 The towers were down.
01:26:28.000 Everything was down.
01:26:28.000 There was no power.
01:26:29.000 Everything was fucked.
01:26:30.000 And, you know, him talking about it, he's like, dude, that was scary as shit, man.
01:26:33.000 He goes, because I realized, like, this whole thing is, like, very fragile.
01:26:36.000 Like, if you don't know where your food's coming from, he goes, we went to the supermarket, and it was just insane.
01:26:41.000 It was just empty shelf after empty shelf.
01:26:43.000 People had just taken everything.
01:26:45.000 There was nothing left.
01:26:46.000 So there's not a supply.
01:26:47.000 Sam, what about water?
01:26:49.000 I don't even have water reserves.
01:26:51.000 I don't have underground tunnels.
01:26:52.000 I have nothing.
01:26:53.000 I save in my basement.
01:26:54.000 Now I'm getting to be, like, an old weird man where I save, um...
01:26:57.000 Freeze-dried food and stuff in my basement.
01:26:59.000 It's very smart.
01:27:00.000 But I still haven't done the water things, the one you gotta do.
01:27:03.000 I gotta get, you know, the water tank.
01:27:04.000 That's a big one.
01:27:05.000 The farming deal, home farming, my brother, he has those pack llamas.
01:27:10.000 You've seen those pack llamas?
01:27:10.000 Yeah, I love those things.
01:27:11.000 So he bought a 10-acre pasture, like a very unpicturesque, just like an irrigated pasture, and realized that his llamas would just inhabit like a back corner and wouldn't use diddly of this pasture.
01:27:25.000 So just because he's just a pragmatic, resourceful person, and he thought it's out there, it's getting wet and growing grass, so he started putting out lambs, and he put out goats, and now he's got a calf out there.
01:27:41.000 And this guy, he hunts so much, so he hunts all of his own meat, and he eats the meat he hunts.
01:27:46.000 And he just puts it out there and takes care of it and makes sure it has water, and then gives all that stuff to his friends.
01:27:52.000 Who come over and butcher the lambs and take them home and feed them to their kids.
01:27:56.000 It's just kind of a sense of like...
01:27:59.000 If the land's there, you know what I mean?
01:28:01.000 It's like, it's there, it's been manipulated by man.
01:28:03.000 It's not like he's preserving some kind of, like, you know, primeval ecosystem.
01:28:08.000 It's just an irrigated pasture of alfalfa.
01:28:10.000 He's like, why not just have that be, like, have output?
01:28:14.000 It's just pleasant to look out my window and be like, it's producing.
01:28:17.000 It's producing things.
01:28:18.000 When you have an acre of land or whatever that is, and he's growing alfalfa, is that all you need for the animal to live, basically?
01:28:25.000 You just put it out there and they just live on that?
01:28:27.000 Well, I'm delving way into stuff I don't understand now, but I know that Camper, I speak to this better, that he's got alfalfa, but it's an old alfalfa field.
01:28:36.000 So I think people typically, in some areas I know, replant alfalfa every seven years because eventually the alfalfa loses out to other plant species.
01:28:44.000 It's my understanding, I don't know for sure, that there's a lot of animals, if you go out and put them on just that, I'm sure there's a lot of guys that know a lot about this, like, cringing right now.
01:28:55.000 If you go out and put them on just alfalfa, it's considered to be, like, a hot food, and they'll overeat.
01:29:02.000 It's too rich, and they can damage themselves if you put them out on just, like, pure alfalfa.
01:29:08.000 That's interesting, because I read that deer that eat out of alfalfa fields are delicious, that they actually have, like, a little more fat to them.
01:29:14.000 Some species can hack it, but I know, I think that I've been told that horses...
01:29:19.000 Does any of this make sense to you?
01:29:20.000 A little bit, but I'm more pig and chicken as opposed to lamb and stuff.
01:29:23.000 Does that make sense with alfalfa making the deer taste better?
01:29:26.000 Yeah, I think it would.
01:29:27.000 But the deer is not going to just be eating alfalfa either.
01:29:29.000 I mean, the deer is going to be roaming and getting a lot of different sources.
01:29:33.000 How much land as a farmer do you need to grow your own meat and your own vegetables?
01:29:39.000 Not much, man.
01:29:40.000 I mean, really, not much.
01:29:41.000 You could do it on...
01:29:42.000 So we've got 40 acres, but right now we're only using about four.
01:29:46.000 We've got our big garden.
01:29:48.000 We've got our chickens that are free-ranging.
01:29:50.000 We've got the pigs.
01:29:51.000 We're going to be getting some dairy goats.
01:29:53.000 And really, four acres is...
01:29:57.000 We don't even use all that space.
01:29:59.000 I mean, they're spread out.
01:29:59.000 The pigs are over here.
01:30:01.000 The chickens are over here.
01:30:02.000 The goats are out in another outer pasture.
01:30:05.000 But you guys could feed...
01:30:08.000 Like, 30 people off 40 acres.
01:30:10.000 Or way more.
01:30:11.000 Well, that's why, you know, eventually, like, what we want to do is to get into the business side of it and to start, you know, selling some stuff and really even, like, some of the vegetables.
01:30:21.000 You know, I want to do a pickle company one day.
01:30:24.000 I want to start pickling shit.
01:30:25.000 And, you know...
01:30:26.000 What are your pigs...
01:30:28.000 What do you feed your pigs?
01:30:29.000 So, right now...
01:30:30.000 Assholes.
01:30:31.000 Yeah.
01:30:33.000 Assholes.
01:30:34.000 Human assholes.
01:30:36.000 TSA workers.
01:30:37.000 Yeah.
01:30:38.000 We have pig feed right now that they sell in big old dog food bags.
01:30:42.000 We go to Tractor Supply and get 50 pound bags of pig feed.
01:30:45.000 They eat the roots and the pig pen and then we're about ready to move them out to a bigger area that's going to be about an acre.
01:30:52.000 And they'll wander around.
01:30:53.000 They'll eat.
01:30:55.000 They must eat a shitload though.
01:30:56.000 When I was a kid.
01:30:57.000 Dude, never stopped.
01:30:58.000 When I was a kid, my stepdad, he was in school, and one of the agriculture classes that he had to take was like this co-op farm that people in the school all did together.
01:31:08.000 They had animals, and they grew plants, and it was a pretty involved thing.
01:31:14.000 And I remember even as a kid saying, what a cool idea, the idea that they all chip in together.
01:31:20.000 Everybody does a little piece of something, and everyone communicates what needs to get done.
01:31:25.000 And if you think about that, in a real neighborhood, man, You could have, as long as you had the soil and as long as you had the resources to get it started and then make it so it's self-sufficient, if you had a sizable piece of land and everybody sort of chipped in and you grew livestock and you grew plants and you fed them and everything,
01:31:42.000 it seems like It would be so economically manageable.
01:31:47.000 I agree.
01:31:47.000 Can you imagine if we all got all our food from a lot down the corner where we all knew that this goat had eaten all this food that we had given it and you knew exactly where the tomato came from because you put the fucking seed in the ground.
01:32:02.000 This is happening to the point we're in cities now.
01:32:05.000 They have flatbed trucks that you can rent where you have a flatbed truck.
01:32:11.000 They got a bunch of soil on that flatbed truck.
01:32:15.000 They're also doing it on roofs.
01:32:17.000 And so what people are doing is getting timeshares and saying, I want to buy a share of that flatbed truck.
01:32:23.000 Flatbed trail comes out, you garden it, you take your vegetables for the day, and it moves on to the next house.
01:32:29.000 Also, they're doing it with, like, there's a lot of roof space.
01:32:31.000 Like, in China, they built a whole city, I guess, where the roofs are basically planters to grow the food for the city.
01:32:38.000 I just saw a story out of Chicago where they're using like some of the old warehouses and they're just turning them into indoor farms.
01:32:45.000 Did you see those two CIA workers whose house got broken into in Kansas?
01:32:49.000 The fucking DEA came in guns blazing because they thought these people were growing weed.
01:32:54.000 And they were former CIA agents, and they were growing tomatoes and vegetables in their basement.
01:33:01.000 They had a whole hydroponic vegetable system set up with lights.
01:33:05.000 Well, these assholes drive around looking for a heat signature from your home that shows that you're using some extraordinary amount of light.
01:33:13.000 Which mostly people are using to grow weed.
01:33:16.000 So they come in, fucking guns out, and, you know, DEA, dogs and shit.
01:33:21.000 No pot!
01:33:22.000 And it's two fucking former CIA agents going, you crazy assholes!
01:33:27.000 The fuck is wrong with you?
01:33:29.000 How about you knock on the door, I show you my badge, and my fucking tomatoes.
01:33:34.000 Right.
01:33:35.000 You know, I wanna, I wanna...
01:33:36.000 Right.
01:33:37.000 How about you do a fucking search of the guy who lives there?
01:33:40.000 Oh, it's that CIA guy!
01:33:42.000 Let's fucking, let's go arrest him and his wife.
01:33:46.000 They're probably selling weed.
01:33:47.000 CIA, it makes sense.
01:33:49.000 Yeah, yeah, exactly.
01:33:50.000 Crazy fucks.
01:33:51.000 We had this thing happen recently where it was like this perfect cohesion of hunting and farming.
01:33:59.000 We're down in Florida and we're hunting turkeys on this guy's ranch.
01:34:03.000 And the guy keeps coming and getting us because he wants us to go out at night and run hogs with his hound dogs.
01:34:10.000 And what it is, he's got a cattle ranch.
01:34:12.000 It's near Okeechobee, Florida.
01:34:15.000 And there's a, I heard two figures, 55,000 or 45,000 acre nature preserve down there.
01:34:21.000 It has a lot of rare native birds on it.
01:34:23.000 And the nature preserve's MO is they just acquire agricultural land.
01:34:29.000 Yeah.
01:34:46.000 A big enemy of the preserve is wild pigs, which consume a lot of ground-nesting shorebird eggs.
01:34:52.000 So they have a guy...
01:34:54.000 The preserve is so tight, so tightly administered, that in most areas you can't walk around in there.
01:34:59.000 And they have a guy that contracts to kill wild pigs.
01:35:01.000 So this guy has a contract where he's supposed to kill X number of pigs every year.
01:35:05.000 He can't in any way keep up with them.
01:35:08.000 This guy that has his cattle ranch likes to hunt pigs, and he would always go back and hunt the boundary between his ranch and the preserve because there's such a great influx of pigs coming off the preserve at night, coming onto his ranch to get into less utilized land.
01:35:26.000 But his dogs would chase him, and the pigs would promptly run back into that preserve where he couldn't pursue them.
01:35:32.000 So he gets some hog-proof fence and builds a 400-acre enclosure abutting the preserve.
01:35:41.000 On the wall of his fence that actually adjoins the preserve, he puts in trapdoors, hinged doors.
01:35:50.000 So the pigs can come in and out.
01:35:52.000 In, but they can't go out.
01:35:53.000 No, but he props the door open.
01:35:57.000 And he kind of watches, and he's always out there checking for tracks.
01:36:00.000 And after a while, he'll realize there's a lot of pig traffic coming out of the preserve onto his land.
01:36:05.000 Then what he'll do, he knows that they come out, after dark, they come onto his ranch, and before daybreak, they drift back to the preserve.
01:36:11.000 Closes the door.
01:36:12.000 So he goes out at four in the morning, And pop, pop, pop, pop, pop.
01:36:15.000 Shuts all those doors.
01:36:16.000 He's got these doors strung out for like a mile.
01:36:19.000 He's got them strung out for like a mile.
01:36:21.000 Every ten yards.
01:36:22.000 Oh, wow.
01:36:22.000 These little doors with a stick holding them.
01:36:24.000 That's hilarious.
01:36:24.000 So he just drives this thing down, pulls all the sticks.
01:36:26.000 That's hilarious.
01:36:27.000 And then cuts his dogs loose.
01:36:28.000 Oh, my God.
01:36:29.000 So we go out with him and right away...
01:36:31.000 What the fuck?
01:36:32.000 What kind of dogs?
01:36:33.000 Are these pit bulls or...
01:36:34.000 Pit bull-esque.
01:36:36.000 I'm not good enough with dogs.
01:36:38.000 He's got bloodhounds.
01:36:40.000 He's got trailers and catchers.
01:36:42.000 Two different types of dogs.
01:36:44.000 His bloodhounds find him, but he don't like to let the bloodhounds actually catch the pig.
01:36:48.000 In fact, one of his dogs got really tore up.
01:36:51.000 Then he puts a holding dog out.
01:36:53.000 Big pit bull-like dog.
01:36:55.000 Who secures the pig.
01:36:56.000 The first pig we catch.
01:36:58.000 Those Argentino dogs, too.
01:37:00.000 Doggo Argentino.
01:37:01.000 They use them as well.
01:37:02.000 They use American Bulldogs, too.
01:37:04.000 The first one we get, it's not even dark yet, and we get one.
01:37:08.000 It's a big boar.
01:37:09.000 And he's intact.
01:37:10.000 He's got his nutsack on him still.
01:37:12.000 And the guy...
01:37:14.000 Why, do the dogs usually pull it off?
01:37:16.000 No, I'm getting a little bit ahead of myself.
01:37:18.000 Just hold that piece of information for me.
01:37:20.000 Nutsack.
01:37:21.000 He's got his nutsack on him.
01:37:22.000 Hold the nutsack.
01:37:24.000 For a moment, Joe.
01:37:25.000 And he says this one won't be any good to eat.
01:37:28.000 Like, they're too lean.
01:37:30.000 They got a lot of testosterone.
01:37:31.000 They don't take good care of themselves.
01:37:32.000 And he takes this pig.
01:37:33.000 It's a big pig, you know.
01:37:35.000 Not big, not like the ones you see on the internet, but a sizable 170-pound pig.
01:37:40.000 And he puts it in a trailer, just to confine in there.
01:37:43.000 We go out hunting again, and the violator, the dogs, bust this other pig out of a palm grove, they call it a hammock, like an island of palm trees out in the grasslands.
01:37:52.000 And they catch it.
01:37:53.000 And this pig's castrated.
01:37:55.000 And it castrated, like a boar that's been castrated as a barrow hog.
01:38:00.000 And the incision where the hog had been castrated is all healed up.
01:38:06.000 And they told me that when we catch a boar, we always castrate it.
01:38:10.000 And then turn it back loose.
01:38:12.000 Because two things happen.
01:38:13.000 One, the pig won't procreate, won't contribute to the problem that the preserver is having, and the problem that he has for pigs on his land, rooting his area up.
01:38:24.000 And it'll do what he says is, take its mind off grass and put it on, you know, take its mind off ass and put it on the grass.
01:38:32.000 And he says, in 90 days, that boar will be fantastic eating.
01:38:36.000 And they'll have a layer of fat on it.
01:38:38.000 So we cut the juggler on the castrated pig and kept it for meat.
01:38:45.000 And it smelled great and was beautiful.
01:38:47.000 The next day, we go out with the boar we caught.
01:38:51.000 And they take a knife and castrate that boar and turn him out, knowing that sometime down the road they'll be lucky and catch that boar again, and he'll be a barrel, and then he'll be good to eat.
01:39:01.000 So these boys do this every week, man.
01:39:05.000 How do you secure a powerful boar's head?
01:39:09.000 I'm telling you what.
01:39:11.000 It's amazing watching the dogs take them and hold them.
01:39:13.000 Yeah, but these guys are cattle ranchers.
01:39:14.000 These guys are cattle ranchers.
01:39:16.000 I mean, it's a daily occurrence for them to wrassle.
01:39:19.000 One, the dog does it because they grab him by the ear, grab him by the head, and pin him down.
01:39:22.000 Now, the tracking dogs caught the pig, and the pig caught one of the tracking dogs real good.
01:39:27.000 And he was going to take that dog to the vet.
01:39:29.000 And I asked him, I bet your vet probably...
01:39:33.000 You know, doesn't like you bringing in dogs that may have gotten injured in something that the vet might regard as unnecessary.
01:39:41.000 Right.
01:39:42.000 He goes, yeah, but that's why I go to a vet who likes to run pigs with his dogs.
01:39:47.000 Well, once you start realizing how many pigs there are, especially Texas, there's millions of feral pigs.
01:39:52.000 Really?
01:39:53.000 Millions.
01:39:54.000 They have a real problem.
01:39:55.000 Millions.
01:39:56.000 They have a real problem.
01:39:57.000 Look, I know you don't like that show, Pig Man, but I like it.
01:40:00.000 No, no, no.
01:40:01.000 I don't say that.
01:40:01.000 I don't say that.
01:40:02.000 There's an anti-intellectualism.
01:40:05.000 I have an aesthetic.
01:40:06.000 I have a hunting aesthetic and an approach to wildlife that I admire and that I try to stand by.
01:40:14.000 No, I know you do.
01:40:15.000 We had long conversations about it.
01:40:17.000 So helicopter gunships are not your...
01:40:20.000 Well, it's not really hunting.
01:40:21.000 It's not my idea, honey.
01:40:22.000 It's not really hunting.
01:40:24.000 I mean, what they're doing is they're getting away with being psychopaths.
01:40:28.000 And if you haven't seen it, Brian, pull it up.
01:40:30.000 It's eradication of a pest.
01:40:32.000 It's Pigman and Ted Nugent shoot pigs from a helicopter.
01:40:35.000 They give all the money, all the meat to the needy, by the way.
01:40:38.000 Oh, yeah.
01:40:38.000 Look, and by the way, it's a real fucking problem.
01:40:41.000 They really do have to eradicate these populations of pigs.
01:40:45.000 They tear up, I mean, they show these crops that are getting fucked up by these pigs in the episode.
01:40:49.000 I want some hog.
01:40:51.000 Let's go hunting.
01:40:52.000 Can we do that again?
01:40:53.000 But this is what I wanted to ask you.
01:40:54.000 What does the one with his nuts taste like?
01:40:56.000 You didn't tell us that.
01:40:57.000 We haven't cooked it yet.
01:40:58.000 We're cooking it on April 25th.
01:41:00.000 But it won't be as good, you don't think?
01:41:01.000 Oh, no, no, I'm sorry.
01:41:02.000 No, no.
01:41:04.000 Okay, on April 25th, I'm cooking the caster, the barrel hog.
01:41:09.000 Now, I have eaten boars with their nuts, but I've never eaten a boar that was as aged and as venerable as that one.
01:41:20.000 You could tell that he was a very old, battle-scarred boar and very lean.
01:41:25.000 And these guys, I might have eaten it and thought it was okay, and it might be that these guys have very high expectations.
01:41:31.000 They pig hunt enough where they have a sense of what's best and what's not best.
01:41:35.000 The same way that you might disregard half a hot dog laying on the side of the road, but another person might be in a situation where they really appreciate that hot dog.
01:41:48.000 So for these guys who hunt boars a lot, The worst example of all time.
01:41:53.000 And eat them and love to eat them.
01:41:55.000 They were like, nuh-uh.
01:41:57.000 And when I expressed interest in the intact hog, being like, I don't care, I want it, they were so adamant that it wouldn't be good that they were denying me getting it.
01:42:09.000 And it wasn't because they were in love with the pig.
01:42:11.000 They were like, no, no, no, we'll get you a good one.
01:42:12.000 We'll get you a good one.
01:42:13.000 That was no good for you.
01:42:15.000 Maybe he would like it more.
01:42:17.000 I tend to like leaner meat anyway.
01:42:20.000 I do too.
01:42:21.000 But I will tell you this.
01:42:23.000 When they do, and I've done a bit of pig hunting, and they can get where they do have quite an odor to them.
01:42:33.000 And this boar just stunk like boar.
01:42:37.000 But this is coming from a guy who will eat blackberries that have been feeding on salmon.
01:42:42.000 What is that like?
01:42:43.000 Dead salmon.
01:42:45.000 It's like rotten salmon.
01:42:46.000 Their meat tastes like rotten salmon?
01:42:48.000 Yeah, because I'm telling you, man, the fat...
01:42:53.000 The fat just carries.
01:42:55.000 There's a book, Harold McGee's book on cooking, the science and lore of cooking or science and lore of the kitchen.
01:43:01.000 He has an explanation there why animal fat is such a reliable indicator of what the animal's been up to in history.
01:43:09.000 Well, you showed that on your show.
01:43:11.000 Yeah, refer your listeners to that rather than try to explain it myself.
01:43:14.000 But you showed that on your show when you shot that bear that had eaten blueberries.
01:43:19.000 It's just unbelievable.
01:43:20.000 And you can just drink the fat.
01:43:21.000 You can melt the fat and drink it and it tastes good.
01:43:23.000 Now, the fat on a salmon bear, you really have to carefully, and this is in the spring when they haven't actually eaten a salmon in six months or something, you have to very carefully trim that fat away.
01:43:33.000 Then the flesh becomes more palatable.
01:43:36.000 But it's just kind of atrocious.
01:43:38.000 And I got a friend in Montana.
01:43:39.000 He shot a bear over a rotten cow one time.
01:43:43.000 Same thing, he thought it was nearly inedible.
01:43:45.000 So what do you do when you have that situation?
01:43:48.000 Do you continue to eat the animal just out of respect?
01:43:50.000 If I'm eating meat that's great, super high quality meat, I cook in a high quality way where I do as little to it as possible.
01:43:59.000 We ate some pretty straight up meat when we were out.
01:44:02.000 Yeah, right out of the animal.
01:44:03.000 Just like meat cooked to warm with salt on it.
01:44:09.000 If I get an animal that's funky, and I killed a female pig one time that was probably one of the worst game animals I've ever done, A, I'm just going to eat it.
01:44:19.000 For me, any displeasure I experience eating off-tasting flesh Isn't as bad as the displeasure that I would experience from having killed a big game animal and not consumed it.
01:44:34.000 That's a very great statement.
01:44:35.000 So, for me, it's just, I'm going to eat it.
01:44:37.000 And whether I make pepperoni sticks, if it's bad, I make pepperoni sticks, I eat the thing.
01:44:44.000 And I haven't always done that.
01:44:46.000 I've explained to you many times, I used to do a lot of fur trapping, sell animal furs.
01:44:50.000 But now, at this point in my life, and my relationship with hunting now, I... You know, like to eat what I hunt for.
01:44:58.000 To the point, I mean, we ate a coyote not long ago down in Mexico.
01:45:03.000 How many times do you hear that?
01:45:04.000 How many times do you hear anybody say that?
01:45:06.000 You're the only person on the planet.
01:45:08.000 This is what's great about the podcast.
01:45:10.000 We ate a coyote in Mexico.
01:45:12.000 What?
01:45:12.000 I never thought I'd meet someone who ate a fucking coyote.
01:45:15.000 That's as weird as saying, I kill people sometimes.
01:45:18.000 Oh my god, why did you eat a coyote?
01:45:20.000 That's great.
01:45:22.000 Yeah, pull his people up and tell us a little story, Uncle Steve.
01:45:25.000 People so often, I get asked, like, as the guy that's eating stuff, I get asked all the time, like, what is it like to eat this?
01:45:33.000 What is it like to eat that?
01:45:34.000 And I have fielded the question about what's it like to eat a coyote so many times that I started to feel like it was professional, like, malfeasance for me to not have a good answer.
01:45:46.000 You know, to be like, I have- Professional malfeasance.
01:45:48.000 We do not have a good answer to what a fucking coyote tastes like.
01:45:51.000 Yeah, so it's like, as a professional development, I wanted to know, and we got a coyote, and uh- So you have to eat the whole coyote now, in your mind?
01:46:00.000 We ate, like, well, there's a handful of us there, and we put the vast majority of that thing down.
01:46:06.000 We put the vast majority of that thing down.
01:46:09.000 We burned the hair off it.
01:46:11.000 We burned all the hair off it and then roasted it.
01:46:14.000 Wow.
01:46:15.000 How was it?
01:46:15.000 Skin on.
01:46:16.000 What did it taste like?
01:46:17.000 Well, I gotta steal, like, the best description, I had to steal this from my buddy, Remy Warren, I was hunting with.
01:46:24.000 And Remy Warren tasted it, and this is an esoteric comparison.
01:46:28.000 Remy Warren tasted it.
01:46:29.000 He's a hunting guide.
01:46:30.000 And he said, uh, it tastes like overcooked diver duck.
01:46:37.000 Well, that's interesting.
01:46:38.000 That's the closest I can come to.
01:46:39.000 For folks who don't know, you explained this to us on the trip, too.
01:46:42.000 There's diver ducks and floaters.
01:46:45.000 Is that what they call the other ones?
01:46:46.000 Yeah, like a non-biological taxonomy with ducks would be like puddle ducks and diver ducks.
01:46:57.000 Or people call them dabbler ducks.
01:46:58.000 So ducks that don't Go underwater to hunt.
01:47:02.000 The ducks that eat fish are the ones you don't want to eat.
01:47:06.000 Divers eat a lot more animal matter And diver ducks and puddle ducks eat a lot more vegetation.
01:47:12.000 See, but to you, that expression, an overcooked diver duck, totally made sense.
01:47:16.000 These folks on the subway right now are going, I don't know what the fuck this guy's talking about.
01:47:20.000 What the fuck is he talking about?
01:47:20.000 A fucking overcooked diver duck.
01:47:22.000 What does that even mean?
01:47:23.000 I'm gonna do that the next time I eat something I don't like.
01:47:25.000 I'm gonna be like, man, this tastes a lot like diver duck.
01:47:28.000 Thanks.
01:47:31.000 Yeah, you had a couple shots on the show at Pheasants too, right?
01:47:36.000 We couldn't quite get one.
01:47:38.000 I just realized that some ducks are carnivorous.
01:47:41.000 I never thought of them being carnivorous.
01:47:42.000 And even some puddle ducks, some puddle ducks or dabbler ducks, eat a lot of plant matter.
01:47:48.000 So of the puddle ducks, one of the not great tasting ones is a northern shoveler.
01:47:55.000 And northern shovelers eat a lot of animal matter.
01:47:57.000 But you can take the best duck on the planet, in my mind, and be like, I love mallard ducks.
01:48:02.000 But if you get mallard ducks in Southeast Alaska, like near my cabin, you can barely eat those mallard ducks.
01:48:08.000 Because even though they're mallards, and in most areas they taste great, in Southeast Alaska those mallards in the late summer are just in there hammering invertebrates.
01:48:17.000 So they're hunting the tide line, eating exposed invertebrates up and down there.
01:48:22.000 And you get those ducks, and they taste like coyote.
01:48:26.000 They're eating invertebrates, meaning clams.
01:48:30.000 It's so important.
01:48:32.000 Yeah, like little insects and clams.
01:48:34.000 People who don't understand modern methods of farming and the way that animals are fed and the foods that they're fed don't understand the whole corn versus grass-fed debate.
01:48:46.000 Right.
01:48:47.000 We've talked about it so many times in the podcast that people hashtag things, grass-fed, when it has nothing to do with it, they're just being silly.
01:48:54.000 But cows are supposed to eat fucking grass.
01:48:56.000 That's right, they're ruminants.
01:48:57.000 And when you give a cow some corn, the whole thing is, it's like giving a person corn.
01:49:01.000 We get fat as fuck.
01:49:03.000 Corn syrup and shit.
01:49:05.000 Yeah, that's why they have four stomachs or whatever it is, to break down that grass.
01:49:10.000 Not only that, I bet you the corn doesn't grow as good magic mushrooms.
01:49:13.000 I bet you the corn poop, I bet it's a fucking mess.
01:49:17.000 It's not grass pumped through the stomach of a double annulat cow.
01:49:22.000 It's corn.
01:49:22.000 We're using big words.
01:49:24.000 You used the word a butt.
01:49:24.000 Poor fucker, eating corn, growing abscesses in his body.
01:49:28.000 Have you ever seen that food egg?
01:49:30.000 That's why they have to, they grow, the liver's abscessed, that's why they have to give him antibiotics.
01:49:33.000 Meanwhile, God damn, it's delicious.
01:49:36.000 That's a problem.
01:49:37.000 It's so good.
01:49:38.000 A good ribeye, a fatty corn-fed ribeye.
01:49:41.000 It's not perfect.
01:49:43.000 When I'm feeling healthy, I like grass-fed.
01:49:46.000 I like a grass-fed sirloin lean.
01:49:50.000 The best meat I've ever had in my life was a corn-fed ribeye from Whole Foods.
01:49:59.000 And I cooked that, and I'm telling you, me and my buddy ate it, and it was just the best I've ever had.
01:50:03.000 You were probably high.
01:50:04.000 I wasn't.
01:50:04.000 I was sober.
01:50:06.000 I think the best meat I've ever eaten in my life was two things.
01:50:10.000 One, the liver and the heart of that deer that we ate.
01:50:13.000 When we're sitting there by a campfire, chopping up, and we had to cut around the bullet hole.
01:50:19.000 We were also hungry, though, and we'd spent three days eating those bad mountain dehydrated...
01:50:23.000 Those were not that bad.
01:50:25.000 I'm telling you, I thought that those mountain bags were going to taste way worse than they tasted.
01:50:29.000 I thought they were delicious.
01:50:30.000 It's situational.
01:50:32.000 Yeah, but it's not as good as the meat.
01:50:34.000 No, we work with a guy, and he's like, I don't care about food.
01:50:38.000 I just want to be full and then go do what I want to do.
01:50:42.000 And so he's always talking about, he's like, yeah, I'll be home, and I'll be home and I'll eat freeze-dried food.
01:50:48.000 Because it's just more efficient for me.
01:50:49.000 I just want to be done and then go do what I want to do.
01:50:52.000 Well, I can understand being obsessed with something else, but you can enjoy food as well, you dumb fuck.
01:50:58.000 Jesus Christ.
01:50:59.000 I like food.
01:51:00.000 Food's awesome.
01:51:01.000 My buddy's a stuntman that hit the back of his head in an accident, and he lost his sense of smell and taste.
01:51:07.000 And he doesn't care that much about food.
01:51:09.000 That dude probably eats ass like a champion.
01:51:11.000 Yeah.
01:51:12.000 I know.
01:51:13.000 Can't smell it.
01:51:14.000 He might be the greatest ass eater in the universe.
01:51:16.000 That's right.
01:51:16.000 Who's going to compete with that guy?
01:51:18.000 What's that?
01:51:18.000 Some poo?
01:51:18.000 Big deal.
01:51:19.000 Whatever.
01:51:20.000 I have no future.
01:51:23.000 Jimmy Burke one time said to me, he goes, I said, he said something like, I ate her ass, and I kind of made a face.
01:51:30.000 He goes, What's the matter?
01:51:32.000 What's the matter?
01:51:32.000 You don't stick your tongue in a girl's ass?
01:51:34.000 You're going to get shit on your tongue?
01:51:35.000 So fucking what?
01:51:37.000 I can't talk to you.
01:51:38.000 And he just walked away.
01:51:39.000 I never said anything.
01:51:40.000 All I did was make a little face.
01:51:41.000 He goes, what's the matter?
01:51:43.000 It's natural to make that face unless you've had four Jack and Cokes and you've been in that situation where you're really trying to impress a gal.
01:51:49.000 Exactly.
01:51:50.000 And you're like, whoa.
01:51:51.000 We've all gotten in that sexual frenzy.
01:51:54.000 Put the spurs on, son.
01:51:55.000 You get in that frenzy where you're like, fuck it.
01:51:56.000 Do you have that video of the Ted Nugent Pigman adventures?
01:52:00.000 Well, there's just like a 30-second clip.
01:52:02.000 Yeah, that's fine.
01:52:02.000 Check this.
01:52:03.000 I want Steve Rinello's take on this, if you've never seen this before.
01:52:07.000 Ted Nugent and Pigman are in a fucking helicopter, and this is fucking crazy.
01:52:13.000 It's now legal to hunt in Texas from helicopters!
01:52:18.000 It is one of the most entertaining episodes of any television show I've ever seen in my life.
01:52:25.000 It's watching Ted Nugent and Pigman take out wild hogs from a fucking helicopter.
01:52:31.000 I'm like, this is some shit that after the fall of America, a thousand years from now, when they're trying to decode our history, they're going to watch that.
01:52:41.000 Holy fuck.
01:52:42.000 They were flying in helicopters, joking around about headshots.
01:52:46.000 Those pigs are fast.
01:52:46.000 He killed 455 pigs that day.
01:52:50.000 No.
01:52:50.000 Yeah.
01:52:51.000 455?
01:52:52.000 Yeah.
01:52:53.000 That's a lot of pigs.
01:52:53.000 Those are some fast pigs.
01:52:54.000 Ted Nugent killed 455 pigs with a machine gun from a helicopter.
01:52:57.000 For Bill Maher.
01:52:58.000 For Bill Maher.
01:52:59.000 Oh, Bill Maher is a very, very anti-hunting guy.
01:53:01.000 Well, he's in PETA. Bill Maher?
01:53:03.000 Yes, Bill Maher supports PETA. Which, by the way, kills more cats and dogs than anybody.
01:53:10.000 96% of the animals that come into their shelter.
01:53:13.000 Yeah, they put them down.
01:53:15.000 I just don't even know what to say about that.
01:53:17.000 They get so crazy.
01:53:18.000 It's like, when is it okay to kill, and when is it not okay to kill?
01:53:21.000 You're killing puppies, and you're mad at people that are killing deer, and they're eating them.
01:53:25.000 I am losing the script here, because that doesn't even make any fucking sense.
01:53:28.000 That's one of the craziest, most ridiculously hypocritical things I've ever heard over my life.
01:53:34.000 What do you mean they kill puppies?
01:53:36.000 When people go to PETA and say, you know, I've got a stray dog here.
01:53:40.000 My dog just had puppies.
01:53:42.000 I don't know what to do with them.
01:53:43.000 I'll give them to the animal lovers at PETA. These dogs die.
01:53:48.000 Most of them they put down because they have to because they don't have the resources to take care of those dogs.
01:53:54.000 That doesn't matter.
01:53:56.000 I don't care if you don't have the resources.
01:53:58.000 You're killing puppies and cats.
01:54:01.000 By the way, you're trying to keep it secret, too.
01:54:03.000 You don't go advertising and telling people, hey, listen, if you don't come down and take these things as pets, we're going to kill them.
01:54:08.000 No, you're doing it on the sneak tip and people have to find out about it through the internet.
01:54:13.000 And then on top of that, you're criticizing people that are hunting and feeding their family with what they know to be a really healthy animal instead of this mystery fucking chain of command that happens when you buy a cheeseburger from Burger King or wherever,
01:54:28.000 name your fast food joint.
01:54:30.000 Who knows what the fuck happened to that cow before it was converted into cheeseburgers.
01:54:35.000 You know, you don't know a goddamn thing.
01:54:36.000 And the fact that they would go after one while killing puppies and kittens, that's insanity.
01:54:43.000 That is insanity.
01:54:45.000 You know, a thing that rings false to me, and, you know, I'm walking on, like, I gotta tread delicately here on the issue of the helicopter thing.
01:54:58.000 Can't deny the awesomeness of it.
01:55:00.000 One thing that rings false to me, though, is when guys do...
01:55:05.000 This is so hard to put.
01:55:09.000 It's like, Dan, if you do, Dan, if you don't.
01:55:11.000 I'm going to try to go for it.
01:55:13.000 When someone does...
01:55:14.000 If someone goes out and shoots a bunch of something because they're overpopulated for a rancher, it's like, in some way, you have to be self-honest, too, and acknowledge that you're not just doing an altruistic act.
01:55:28.000 You know, like I enjoy to hunt, you know.
01:55:30.000 So when I hunt on my buddy's ranch in California, I'm glad that he figures he has too many pigs.
01:55:39.000 Because it allows me to go pig hunting.
01:55:41.000 And I like to go pig hunting.
01:55:43.000 I like to eat pigs.
01:55:44.000 But I would never, like, I don't then say to my wife, I'm like, I really don't want to do it.
01:55:51.000 But my buddy's in trouble.
01:55:53.000 He's got a lot of pigs.
01:55:55.000 And I'm going to go out, and as much as it's going to be a drag, I'm going to go out and help them.
01:55:59.000 Because we need to fight our way through this pig problem.
01:56:03.000 And we all need to give our share.
01:56:05.000 Because if my buddy would call me and say, you know what I've got a real problem with?
01:56:08.000 My fences are down.
01:56:10.000 Can you come out and spend a weekend fixing all my fences?
01:56:13.000 That really is the problem I have right now.
01:56:15.000 I'd be like, no, but what are those pigs up to?
01:56:19.000 You having a problem with them?
01:56:20.000 No.
01:56:22.000 Well, it's natural to, first of all, the hunting them is natural, and the dealing with the overpopulation is a real issue for people that do have farms and do have ranches.
01:56:32.000 You've got to deal with that.
01:56:33.000 And to get bullshit, to take crap from people that are killing puppies and kittens, like, man, we need to come to an understanding here.
01:56:40.000 Here's the real issue.
01:56:41.000 It's not PETA. It's not the problem of being ethical towards animals.
01:56:45.000 It's crazy assholes that do illogical shit.
01:56:49.000 And that's the problem with a lot of animal activists.
01:56:52.000 It's the problem with a lot of people that claim to love animals more than they love people.
01:56:56.000 You're out of your mind if you love a dog more than you love people.
01:56:59.000 You're out of your mind.
01:57:01.000 You're out of your mind.
01:57:02.000 That's a one-way relationship.
01:57:04.000 Jesus Christ.
01:57:05.000 That thing doesn't talk to you about stuff.
01:57:07.000 It doesn't challenge you on issues.
01:57:09.000 It doesn't tell you it loves you.
01:57:11.000 It doesn't help you grow.
01:57:12.000 It's a goddamn dog.
01:57:13.000 And I love my dogs.
01:57:15.000 But you're crazy if you like animals more than people.
01:57:17.000 And the people that are involved Just for whatever reason, there's a certain percentage, it's not all of them, but a certain percentage of people that are involved in animal rights movements have a distorted perception of the relationship between humans and animals.
01:57:33.000 And their relationship is not one of admiration or respect.
01:57:36.000 It becomes what you were talking about, the anthropomorphic sort of a thing.
01:57:40.000 It's like it's Bambi.
01:57:41.000 Or it's like, you know, I saw someone was talking about when the mountain lion got shot in Santa Monica.
01:57:47.000 You know, they should fucking shoot people.
01:57:49.000 I'd be happier if a person was shot in that mountain line.
01:57:52.000 I'm like, that was a mountain line in fucking Santa Monica, man!
01:57:56.000 Santa Monica is really urban, okay?
01:57:58.000 There's no parks.
01:58:00.000 There's no parks.
01:58:01.000 There's no giant places where there's all trees.
01:58:03.000 There's no Central Park in Santa Monica.
01:58:06.000 It's houses.
01:58:07.000 A few years ago, there was a black bear in Bergen County, New Jersey.
01:58:10.000 Do you remember that?
01:58:11.000 No, I don't.
01:58:12.000 North Jersey.
01:58:13.000 And same thing.
01:58:14.000 That's where Joey Diaz is from, by the way.
01:58:16.000 It's right near Hoboken.
01:58:17.000 You know, you got a black bear wandering around Hoboken.
01:58:22.000 Hoboken, you fuck.
01:58:23.000 Where are you from?
01:58:24.000 Hoboken.
01:58:25.000 Hoboken is the French.
01:58:26.000 I'm from Oklahoma.
01:58:27.000 Jesus Christ.
01:58:28.000 Sorry about that.
01:58:29.000 This guy might be from North Korea.
01:58:32.000 What is your background, sir?
01:58:33.000 He's infiltrated our defenses.
01:58:35.000 So here's my excuse for how I mispronounce.
01:58:37.000 What is it?
01:58:37.000 Hoboken.
01:58:38.000 Hoboken.
01:58:38.000 Hoboken.
01:58:39.000 Hoboken.
01:58:39.000 He says New York, too.
01:58:40.000 All right, so I've got a little bit of a beef with Hoboken.
01:58:44.000 Because when I was a kid, I lived in Ridgewood, New Jersey for a year.
01:58:47.000 Ridgewood had a law in the books that said you could actually not play video games until you were sixteen years old.
01:58:52.000 There was a ban on video games in Ridgewood, New Jersey.
01:58:55.000 So as an eight-year-old in North Jersey, I had to go to Hoboken to a diner to play a German version of Pac-Man.
01:59:03.000 So when I think of Hoboken, I don't really think of how to pronounce it.
01:59:06.000 I just think of my My fond memories of playing a German version of Pac-Man with the name of the ghosts were like, you know, 18 characters long.
01:59:15.000 So that's the thing.
01:59:17.000 I think diners, I think black bears, I think Pac-Man.
01:59:20.000 And now I think Hoboken and Joe Rogan will kick my ass if I ever miss an ass.
01:59:23.000 So the issue was that there was a bear in that area?
01:59:25.000 There's a bear.
01:59:26.000 There have been bear sightings in every county in New Jersey.
01:59:29.000 Wow.
01:59:29.000 Every county in New Jersey.
01:59:31.000 And they just made bear hunting legal in the last half a decade or so, right?
01:59:35.000 Yeah, it was illegal for a long time.
01:59:37.000 They brought it back.
01:59:38.000 And then a couple years ago when Corzine was governor, they put a stop to it again over the objections of the Wildlife Commission there in the state.
01:59:47.000 And how do you get wildlife commissions?
01:59:49.000 That's what drives me crazy.
01:59:50.000 How do you get wildlife commissions that are run by people who are animal rights activists?
01:59:55.000 And why does that happen?
01:59:56.000 And how is that possible that that happens?
01:59:58.000 You got it in California right now because the governor appoints So many people, and they're going to have so many hunters, and now they're going to bring a – they're going to say, well, okay, so the hunters get a seat at the table, but we also have to have the animal rights activists have a seat at the table too.
02:00:14.000 But the idea that they're trying to – I mean an animal rights activist is automatically going to be anti-hunting.
02:00:20.000 Right.
02:00:20.000 Absolutely.
02:00:22.000 It just doesn't make any sense that someone could be in charge of wildlife management and be anti-hunting.
02:00:29.000 What that is is this convenient ignorance that a lot of people that don't understand wildlife have.
02:00:35.000 And I did until I started getting into it before I started paying attention, whatever it was, a decade or so.
02:00:40.000 I think, though, that a lot of these wildlife management councils, etc., have done a pretty good job of...
02:00:48.000 Doing their job and I don't...
02:00:51.000 Not in liberal states though.
02:00:52.000 The issue is when states like in California where they're making illogical decisions like the lack of dogs in black bear and in mountain lion hunts.
02:01:01.000 They're hard enough to fucking kill and to control the population and especially when you're dealing with predators like you have a responsibility as a human being to keep the population in control.
02:01:12.000 I'm not saying you should run them to the point of extinction, but you have a...
02:01:15.000 I think Every human in a community has, if possible to control predators, you should.
02:01:22.000 There's a responsibility to keep a certain amount of control on the situation.
02:01:28.000 And when you start doing shit like saying, well, you can't hunt with dogs, or you can't do this, or you can't do that...
02:01:35.000 What should be is how many numbers are they killing?
02:01:39.000 There's not a lot of mountain lions getting killed.
02:01:41.000 It's not easy to do.
02:01:42.000 They're not in danger, right?
02:01:44.000 No!
02:01:44.000 They're not in danger anymore.
02:01:47.000 Right now, you're seeing an expansion in range.
02:01:50.000 And it's different than what people think.
02:01:54.000 Some of the states that have the most heavy hunting for mountain lions are actually turning out to be areas that are population sources.
02:02:03.000 So there's a movement right now.
02:02:04.000 I was just reading this paper recently where they were doing some work on lions, and they were thinking that with the abundance of lions in California, with the loss of hound hunting, that they would be seeing Californian lions going in to fill Ecosystems vacated by harvested lions in Nevada.
02:02:25.000 What they're finding instead is in spite of all, like the basin and range country in Nevada, in spite of the hunting, is still able to produce lions and they're seeing lions going in a different direction.
02:02:37.000 They're seeing lions going, spreading out displaced young males, spreading out from Nevada into California.
02:02:43.000 Now it could be two things.
02:02:43.000 It could be somehow that their buddy called them from California and said, dude, come here.
02:02:51.000 They will not mess with you.
02:02:52.000 These people are soft.
02:02:53.000 They don't even use dogs.
02:02:55.000 I don't know what it is, but so much stuff...
02:02:59.000 There's always something that violates all your expectations.
02:03:03.000 And to the answer, do state fish and game agencies do their job?
02:03:05.000 I have...
02:03:07.000 No one has complete faith in everything.
02:03:10.000 But in general, I have a lot of faith in state fish and game agencies.
02:03:16.000 And you guys have all had the luxury, like I have to travel around the world a fair bit.
02:03:21.000 And I used to have this naive idea that you'd go to a developing nation.
02:03:28.000 And it would be that you'd experience this great abundance of wildlife.
02:03:32.000 It's just in your mind, it's like, oh, it's like back in time somehow.
02:03:36.000 You know, I remember like the first time I went to the Philippines to do a magazine story, I brought my snorkel, my mask, and I thought it would just be this explosion of sea life.
02:03:44.000 You know, but in fact it's not because they use cyanide to fish on the reefs.
02:03:50.000 Whoa!
02:03:50.000 And dynamite.
02:03:52.000 You go to a fish market there and the fish are an inch long tops.
02:03:55.000 It's either there's a bunch of inch long fish or they've just drug in a big whale shark and they're hacking an apartment machetes.
02:04:01.000 Whoa!
02:04:03.000 The reality is, is that the US, we have very progressive game management, and we have like a hunter-based management system.
02:04:12.000 In the US, when you factor in how many people live here, where we're at in a technological sense, where we're at in an economic sense, it almost doesn't make sense that we have the wildlife we have.
02:04:22.000 We do a phenomenal job, and there's a richness of wildlife in the United States of America that's unparalleled by any country in a similar situation.
02:04:30.000 And Steve, let me just piggyback...
02:04:30.000 There's nothing to compare to it.
02:04:31.000 Let me piggyback, and I don't want to interrupt you, but not only that...
02:04:34.000 But you did.
02:04:34.000 You fucked.
02:04:34.000 Well, the U.S. also has been really responsible for many, many years.
02:04:38.000 Also, if you want to buy timber from, say, Indonesia, our rules and guidelines for how that timber is harvested and where is incredibly stringent.
02:04:49.000 It's...
02:04:50.000 Countries like China and Japan that are not responsible, but keep going.
02:04:54.000 So, you're right.
02:04:54.000 No, you're absolutely right there, and we've had to use certain things to try to control other countries' abuse on the high seas.
02:05:02.000 Like, we'll even go after people and be like, not only are we going to not buy your fisheries, but now we have the capability to boycott your electronics if you're not going to get with the program of high seas fisheries management.
02:05:11.000 So, in general, in the U.S., I attribute...
02:05:14.000 It's starting to sound like a documentary, but I'm saying that the North American Wildlife Conservation Model, which is a model based on creating abundance, So that you can have a limited, sustainable harvest of resources has proven to be the best system and it's not even debatable.
02:05:35.000 And people don't understand that when they're in urban areas and they become animal rights activists and they talk about how much they love animals.
02:05:41.000 They don't understand things like keeping deer population down so you don't die in car accidents because they don't have natural predators.
02:05:47.000 Unless you're gonna go fucking like what they're doing with wolves and reintroduce wolves into your ecosystem and then what happens?
02:05:54.000 What are you gonna control the wolves?
02:05:55.000 How do they even do that?
02:05:57.000 They're not funding research.
02:05:58.000 A guy that hunts and he buys firearms and ammunition, which has essentially a self-imposed exercise tax that was voted in by sportsmen.
02:06:08.000 They have a self-imposed exercise tax where money goes to the federal government.
02:06:12.000 It's a percentage that goes to the federal government, that purchase.
02:06:15.000 It's earmarked for wildlife conservation.
02:06:17.000 So you're talking about enforcement of laws, which I think Peter would agree with greatly, that somebody needs to enforce these laws.
02:06:23.000 That's how we're funding that enforcement.
02:06:25.000 Hunting license sales and Pittman Robertson Act funds.
02:06:30.000 Buying a hunting license goes to create state fish and game agencies.
02:06:33.000 Many of these agencies are self-sustaining.
02:06:35.000 They don't get any taxpayer funding.
02:06:37.000 Their funding comes through fees and licenses.
02:06:39.000 And they do wildlife research.
02:06:42.000 PETA's not funding wildlife research.
02:06:44.000 You know?
02:06:44.000 It's like they're just making noise.
02:06:47.000 But, like, the conversation so often comes down to PETA, but PETA's become a joke.
02:06:51.000 I mean, when PETA makes the news, it's always like, what are those guys up to now?
02:06:55.000 It's always the tone out.
02:06:56.000 I don't think they're taken seriously.
02:06:57.000 I don't think the animal...
02:06:59.000 I don't think that animal rights...
02:07:01.000 I don't think that people who self-identify as animal rights advocates are actually dangerous.
02:07:10.000 I'm going to disagree with you if we can snuggle and share a microphone here.
02:07:13.000 There we go.
02:07:15.000 Because I think that PETA is the clown shoes of the animal rights movement, but they're there in a way to be a distraction for, like, the HSUS's of the world.
02:07:24.000 What does that mean?
02:07:26.000 Humane Society of the United States.
02:07:27.000 And everybody thinks that the Humane Society is your local dog and cat shelter, right?
02:07:32.000 But nationally, HSUS, the Humane Society of the United States, doesn't really fund your local animal shelter.
02:07:39.000 They try to raise money off of you thinking that they fund your local animal shelter, but instead, they're the non-clown-choose animal rights group.
02:07:48.000 They're the suit and tie-wearing, lobbying, go to politicians.
02:07:51.000 They know how to raise money.
02:07:53.000 They know how to be effective talking to politicians and banning certain types of hunting.
02:07:58.000 And Pete is there, I think, really to be that sort of distraction.
02:08:00.000 You know, oh look, it's the chicks who are getting naked and painting themselves like tigers.
02:08:04.000 It's the people who are wearing like the little lettuce bikinis.
02:08:06.000 But Michael Markarian or Wayne Pacelli at HSUS, their goal is the same.
02:08:12.000 I mean, Wayne Pacelli has said, we want to see a day when there is no hunting in this country.
02:08:16.000 Why do you need to hunt anymore?
02:08:18.000 You can go to the grocery store.
02:08:21.000 That's what's really insane is that someone would want to take away your ability to acquire meat your way.
02:08:28.000 That somehow or another it would be good to only be able to get your meat from farmers.
02:08:33.000 I think these folks want to get to a day where we're growing meat in laboratories and we've got our test tube vats.
02:08:40.000 I think you're right.
02:08:41.000 But I think they don't understand that there would be this insane imbalance in the ecosystem that would probably lead to the rise of predators.
02:08:51.000 Absolutely.
02:08:51.000 And not to mention the loss of humanity.
02:08:53.000 I mean, you know, there is something innately human about taking your food.
02:08:58.000 That I think we would lose if we grew our food in a laboratory.
02:09:02.000 Well, I think your definition of human is what they want to change.
02:09:05.000 I think what they want to change is they want us to evolve past this need to be reliant upon our primal instincts.
02:09:12.000 And my thinking on that is always I understand the idealistic or utopian sort of pull in that direction.
02:09:21.000 But there's also a reality about the time that we live in.
02:09:23.000 Although we can see a bright future where we become beings of light who can read each other's minds and the internet is used to travel on, maybe that's the future.
02:09:33.000 Maybe that's a million years from now, whatever the fuck it is.
02:09:35.000 But reality is right now, animals don't live forever and they're delicious when you eat them.
02:09:39.000 And you guys are getting crazy, okay?
02:09:42.000 You're not going to live forever.
02:09:43.000 Neither is that deer.
02:09:44.000 Neither is that cow.
02:09:46.000 Like, this is nuts.
02:09:47.000 Like, the idea that you shouldn't torture them, 100%, I'm with you.
02:09:50.000 The idea that you shouldn't psychologically damage them by leaving them in cages their whole life and then finally shooting them and eating them and...
02:09:57.000 Yeah, there's a lot of bad karma to that.
02:09:59.000 That would make me think that the people that would be the real animal activists would be the ones that want to encourage the natural food chain.
02:10:08.000 You're not going to stop people from eating meat.
02:10:09.000 You're just not.
02:10:10.000 We like it too much.
02:10:12.000 There's too much scientific evidence that there's benefits through cholesterol, for brain function.
02:10:18.000 Inflammation.
02:10:19.000 There's a lot of benefits of eating meat.
02:10:22.000 Vegans don't want to believe that because a lot of vegans, what their thing is, Is that they used to have an unbelievably shitty diet.
02:10:29.000 They used to eat fucking bullshit and cheeseburgers and shitty food and blah blah blah blah blah.
02:10:35.000 But now that they're eating vegan they feel so much better.
02:10:38.000 Oh my god.
02:10:38.000 And now they're like these proselytizing for the vegan religion.
02:10:43.000 And they're going around telling everybody how amazing it is.
02:10:45.000 How amazing they feel to be vegan.
02:10:47.000 But I'm like, I understand.
02:10:49.000 You're right.
02:10:49.000 There's a lot of great nutrients in vegetables.
02:10:52.000 But, and meat.
02:10:54.000 And meat, too.
02:10:56.000 There's a lot of good in that, too.
02:10:57.000 And I'm a person who never did, like, eat their body away.
02:11:01.000 I never did eat shit food all the time.
02:11:03.000 I understand the direct correlation between nutritional supplementation, eating healthy vegetables, eating good lean meats, and feeling better, and your body actually performing.
02:11:14.000 Especially in something, like, really intense.
02:11:16.000 When you get into, like, jiu-jitsu, any kind of martial art, The stakes of you being good or bad are you getting your ass kicked.
02:11:22.000 And that's a terrible feeling that every man wants to avoid.
02:11:26.000 And you understand what's working and what's not working.
02:11:29.000 Pragmatism comes into play when you're involved in anything, any competitive athletic, especially combat sports.
02:11:35.000 Like, you better eat the right shit.
02:11:38.000 You better take your fucking vitamin.
02:11:40.000 Because if you don't, it's a difference between you just You're barely getting out of a submission and getting to a dominant position and winning, or you're tapping out.
02:11:47.000 I mean, it literally sometimes is that close.
02:11:50.000 It's a few beats of a heart.
02:11:51.000 It's whether or not you have just that extra push of oxygen in your body.
02:11:55.000 People that do that, they like meat.
02:11:59.000 Most of them.
02:12:00.000 Not only that, but if you look at nature, that's such a classic and stark example of how life eats life.
02:12:09.000 Life eats life, by the way, whether or not you're eating animals.
02:12:13.000 You're still killing living things.
02:12:15.000 This is the thing I've always wondered about, and I was actually...
02:12:18.000 Maybe I'm relying on the expertise of your viewers, and this isn't a question that they'd be able to answer through a format like Twitter.
02:12:26.000 It would take a lengthy email if someone knows.
02:12:29.000 Whatever you do, don't give out your email right now.
02:12:32.000 It's going to go to you, and then you're going to send it to me if it's good.
02:12:35.000 But whenever I ask this, people think that I'm trying to demonstrate absurdity by being absurd.
02:12:40.000 But it really is something I wonder about, and I'm sure there's a great answer for it.
02:12:44.000 In the mindset of a diehard animal rights person who feels that human life is equal to animal life, what do they propose we should do?
02:12:56.000 Once we conquer the problem of humans consuming animals, human-induced animal suffering, what do they propose?
02:13:04.000 Population control?
02:13:05.000 No, what will they do with the bottlenose dolphin?
02:13:07.000 How will it be that he...
02:13:10.000 Is forced to stop consuming fish.
02:13:13.000 And I'm not trying to be like a smartass.
02:13:15.000 Right.
02:13:15.000 Like, what will you do to get coyotes if life is life is life?
02:13:21.000 Okay.
02:13:23.000 When will they be offended by the actions of a coyote?
02:13:26.000 Who's killing things to survive?
02:13:28.000 I know it's like he has to, but really, if you caught them all and separated them, you'd be able to feed them a sort of...
02:13:33.000 I think that's a good question.
02:13:34.000 But I'm not trying to be a smartass.
02:13:35.000 What is the answer?
02:13:36.000 I think they make a very distinct difference, a big difference between humans and animals, right?
02:13:42.000 As far as they're concerned, there is a big difference because human beings have a choice.
02:13:46.000 Our choice, we could be herbivores and exclusively herbivores, and according to them, even healthier than meat eaters, which I disagree with.
02:13:54.000 I think everybody disagrees with that.
02:13:56.000 And I read the China study, everybody.
02:13:58.000 You didn't read the whole thing, by the way, either.
02:14:02.000 I sure did.
02:14:03.000 Get the fuck out of here.
02:14:04.000 You know you didn't read that whole thing.
02:14:06.000 I'm going to quiz you on Chapter 8. The end is the best part, in fact.
02:14:10.000 Is that where Pinocchio gets his Geppetto out of the whale?
02:14:15.000 All you have to do is read the end, actually, because he talks about how industry hijacks the sort of – hijacks government agencies like the school lunch program and what the military feeds the soldiers into buying their food.
02:14:30.000 Oh, yeah.
02:14:30.000 And how they get scientists – they stack the deck and get scientists to say that 25 percent of you are fucking – Diet can be simple sugars because there's a lot of money in high fructose corn syrup for the corn refiners, etc.
02:14:43.000 Isn't it amazing though?
02:14:44.000 People don't understand how that happened.
02:14:46.000 How all of a sudden the government gives farmers money to give them subsidies on corn to encourage the growth of corn.
02:14:55.000 And it's not family farms, remember everybody.
02:14:58.000 It's huge industrial farms that get the bulk And somehow or another they wash each other's hands and figure out how to slap each other in the back.
02:15:06.000 They stack the deck.
02:15:07.000 T. Colin Campbell, he was a scientist on one of these boards.
02:15:11.000 He does a very good job as a scientist who is involved in this stuff.
02:15:15.000 And he names names because he's friends with these guys who are on Nestle and Coca-Cola's boards who say, guess what?
02:15:23.000 Soda, high fructose corn syrup, has nothing to do with obesity.
02:15:26.000 You can eat as much as you want.
02:15:27.000 In fact, 25% of the food and nutrition board that sets the standard for the school lunch program of mothers with dependent children, etc.
02:15:35.000 You can eat 25% of your diet can be simple sugars.
02:15:40.000 Go ahead!
02:15:40.000 Listen to what Monsanto has done.
02:15:43.000 Monsanto has bought up a company that was the leading company on bee research because those are the people that said that Monsanto's pesticides and all the shit that's in their food is causing bee populations to decline.
02:15:56.000 So Monsanto buys them.
02:15:58.000 Then Monsanto develops a fucking robot bee.
02:16:05.000 I joked around about it in my act.
02:16:07.000 I said that bees are such cunty animals.
02:16:09.000 I hope that we make solar-powered robot bees that fuel themselves by...
02:16:14.000 They have dicks that are actually vacuum cleaners and they just fuck real bees to death and suck their life out and burn it inside their combustion engine.
02:16:23.000 And I was just joking around.
02:16:24.000 I didn't think anybody would actually make a robot bee, but I was like, how tough is it to pollinate a fucking plant?
02:16:29.000 They don't even know they're doing it and they're doing it.
02:16:30.000 All I know is Monsanto stealing your material.
02:16:34.000 Well, they just thought about it.
02:16:35.000 I bet they thought about it before me.
02:16:37.000 But it takes a long time to develop a fucking drone bee.
02:16:40.000 A robot bee, yeah.
02:16:41.000 But they have a robot bee.
02:16:42.000 Monsanto has fucking robot bees now.
02:16:45.000 Pull up a picture of it.
02:16:46.000 Pull up a picture of it.
02:16:48.000 Monsanto robot bee is in the news today.
02:16:51.000 Along with that fucking explosion in Boston.
02:16:53.000 How scary is that shit?
02:16:54.000 Is there any new evidence on that?
02:16:56.000 I don't know.
02:16:57.000 We should probably know, huh?
02:16:58.000 Let's see.
02:16:59.000 A kid died.
02:17:00.000 An eight-year-old kid.
02:17:01.000 Really?
02:17:02.000 Do they know?
02:17:03.000 Was it like a sophisticated form?
02:17:06.000 No.
02:17:07.000 I think it looks like it's a fire and it looks like there was ball bearings in it.
02:17:11.000 So it looks like it's probably just like one of those ones you find out online.
02:17:15.000 Like a domestic produced.
02:17:18.000 This is unbelievably horrific.
02:17:21.000 141 people have been injured.
02:17:23.000 141. And at least 37, or at least 17 rather, are critical injuries.
02:17:27.000 Doctors are pulling ball bearings out of people.
02:17:30.000 Oh my god.
02:17:32.000 No, Monsanto.
02:17:33.000 Monsanto Robot B. You know, that scares me.
02:17:37.000 They're going to come up with wasps that can sting the shit out of you.
02:17:41.000 See that thing?
02:17:41.000 That's the one with the quarter?
02:17:43.000 The one right next to it with the quarter?
02:17:45.000 Look at that.
02:17:46.000 What the fuck happened?
02:17:47.000 I don't know.
02:17:48.000 The one up in the upper right, that one right there.
02:17:49.000 Look at that.
02:17:50.000 Look at that fucking thing.
02:17:52.000 That is Monsanto's robot bee.
02:17:54.000 And that thing is going to have the same function that an actual bee does.
02:17:58.000 Like, they'll be able to get them to fly back and forth and pollinate plants.
02:18:04.000 What?
02:18:05.000 Oh yeah, we killed off the bees, don't worry.
02:18:07.000 We got Terminator bees that we developed specifically.
02:18:10.000 It's like, don't sweat it, dude.
02:18:12.000 And by the way, Monsanto owns the copyright on these, and nobody else can make their own robot bees, so you're going to have to buy robot bees from Monsanto.
02:18:20.000 And like a real bee, they only last like a week.
02:18:23.000 You know, there was a...
02:18:24.000 In the 1800s, there was this...
02:18:27.000 There was a...
02:18:31.000 My mind's escaping me.
02:18:32.000 What's the guy who, like, one who studies plants?
02:18:35.000 A botanist.
02:18:37.000 Yeah, okay, yeah.
02:18:37.000 There's a botanist who was...
02:18:39.000 Herbologist?
02:18:40.000 Yeah, a botanist.
02:18:42.000 A forest.
02:18:42.000 Was making, like, an exploration of the American West, and he was talking about, and he wrote for a while about the advance of the honeybee.
02:18:51.000 You know, the honeybee's not a native, not native to this continent.
02:18:53.000 Really?
02:18:54.000 Yeah, he's talking about the advance of honeybees across the continent.
02:18:58.000 So did it come on ships?
02:19:00.000 Well, you know, people brought it.
02:19:01.000 Oh, they brought it on purpose?
02:19:03.000 Yeah, like, again, I'm escaping, like, not an aviary, but an apiary.
02:19:09.000 People brought them for honey production.
02:19:12.000 And they went feral very successfully.
02:19:15.000 And he was, and this botanist describes, and he made his trip, like, you know what I remember?
02:19:20.000 He made his trip in 1811 because his getting home was interrupted by the War of 1812. And he was on the Missouri when that great earthquake happened.
02:19:33.000 The earthquake struck that actually switched the direction of the Mississippi's flow.
02:19:37.000 Whoa.
02:19:38.000 Yeah, he was there, and then he got delayed by the War of 1812. That guy's shit luck.
02:19:42.000 This guy had Bradbury.
02:19:45.000 Bradbury was his name, like the novelist.
02:19:46.000 His name was Bradbury.
02:19:47.000 He had amazingly bad luck.
02:19:49.000 He thought he was just going on a little trip, and it took him like seven years to get home.
02:19:52.000 And all the material that Bradbury, all the material he gathered, like all the plant specimens he took, He got done and he wanted to take a different route home, so he sent his assistant.
02:20:03.000 Home with his stuff, right?
02:20:05.000 But his assistant gets home years earlier, and by the time this dude makes it back home, the assistant has published all the material under his own name.
02:20:12.000 No!
02:20:14.000 But anyways, in this book, he has this really interesting passage.
02:20:17.000 Son of a bitch.
02:20:18.000 This really interesting passage about how fast bees are advancing and how they always keep pace.
02:20:24.000 They're always out ahead of the frontier.
02:20:26.000 So at the time when he was writing, he was talking about like the...
02:20:29.000 Bees somewhere in North Dakota or whatever be saying, like, reliably, you know, we're in St. Louis in a strong way, and bees are 40 miles out, and the bees will continue to march across.
02:20:40.000 That's why, like, colony...
02:20:43.000 Collapse disorder, as interesting as it is, I don't think of it as a wildlife issue.
02:20:50.000 I think of it as an agricultural issue.
02:20:52.000 Right, because they're not natural.
02:20:54.000 Yeah, it's a non-native species.
02:20:55.000 It's an agricultural problem, and it's a sad agricultural problem.
02:20:59.000 But when I think of wildlife politics and the well-being of American wildlife, which I have a vested interest in, I don't look at colony collapse disorder as...
02:21:08.000 It's a serious economic problem.
02:21:10.000 So these animals, or these bees rather, if they didn't exist, if they hadn't been introduced here, would agriculture be drastically different?
02:21:18.000 Yeah, I would say so, because they're able to use them in such a targeted...
02:21:22.000 A guy that raises bees is doing two things.
02:21:26.000 He's producing honey, and he's providing pollination services.
02:21:29.000 So they do these things in tandem.
02:21:32.000 When I was in college, I worked for a beekeeper, and he would...
02:21:36.000 All the while, he's collecting honeycomb, but at the same time, he's moving stuff around.
02:21:39.000 So at the beginning of the year, he'd go down to Georgia, he'd truck his bees down to Georgia, and he'd do pollination services down there.
02:21:46.000 And I think that it's just a way that you can do very targeted, very fast, synchronized pollination of plant species that if you were relying on native species of bees and native moths and butterflies, that I gather would take much longer.
02:22:02.000 What are the native ones as opposed to the honeybees are not native?
02:22:05.000 Honeybees are not native.
02:22:06.000 So the North American Indians, they never got any honey before we came along?
02:22:10.000 Well, I think that the honeybee produces good quantities of a high quality honey.
02:22:18.000 There are similar products produced.
02:22:20.000 There are similar things produced by other things.
02:22:21.000 But it's kind of like the reason that goat's milk isn't really...
02:22:26.000 A big, strong product, but cows can crank it out.
02:22:30.000 In that way, they were brought for that purpose.
02:22:32.000 But there are many pollinating insects that were native to the U.S., but the specific honeybee as we know it was an introduced species.
02:22:39.000 Wasps, were they here?
02:22:40.000 I don't know, but I would...
02:22:42.000 I'm sure they were.
02:22:44.000 I'd like to be the son of a bitch who introduced wasps to the United States.
02:22:47.000 Who decided, you know what, bees, they make honey.
02:22:51.000 What happens if we bring wasps over here?
02:22:52.000 That guy from Animal Planet.
02:22:54.000 Screw that guy.
02:22:55.000 He had a short-lived show on Animal Planet, and he was an entomologist, and he was a really weird dude.
02:23:01.000 And he goes, look at this!
02:23:03.000 And he had this huge spider, and he goes, watch this!
02:23:05.000 And he put it in his mouth, and then he pulled it out.
02:23:08.000 It was this huge tarantula.
02:23:09.000 Now it won't bite me because I'm not a moth.
02:23:11.000 If I was a moth, it would bite me.
02:23:13.000 But I'm a human, so it doesn't know the difference.
02:23:15.000 I'm like, alright, it's some Filipino thing, right?
02:23:17.000 So I said, his claim to fame is he'd been stung by every insect.
02:23:23.000 And I said, there are some wasps out there that can hurt you.
02:23:27.000 And he said, oh yes, oh yes.
02:23:30.000 And I said, like what?
02:23:31.000 He goes, well, the tarantula hawk or the 24-hour ant that you find in Panama, if they sting you, you'll fall to the ground and scream for hours and hours.
02:23:42.000 He goes, they call it a 24-hour because when you do get stung, you can't sleep, you can't drink, you can't eat for 24 hours.
02:23:49.000 The pain is so intense.
02:23:50.000 I said, what was the pain like?
02:23:51.000 He goes, I liken it to getting your hand slammed in a car door and being shot with a.45 at the same time.
02:23:58.000 He was this really weird guy.
02:24:00.000 I was like, well, I'll be staying away from the tarantula hawk, which is indigenous to this area, Nevada, Utah.
02:24:08.000 Whenever you talk about any of the really evil fucking bugs in this world.
02:24:12.000 They scare the shit out of you.
02:24:13.000 You want to scare me?
02:24:14.000 That really drives me nuts about animal rights activists, because those are animals too.
02:24:19.000 This is a whole broad ecosystem, and a lot of these things that are out there, we can't live with them.
02:24:26.000 If we live with them, they kill us.
02:24:28.000 Like, do you understand that there's ants in Africa that kill elephants?
02:24:31.000 They climb up an elephant's leg, and they go right through the fucking ear, and they start eating the elephant ear first.
02:24:37.000 Fuck yeah, it's true.
02:24:38.000 They find them, and then they communicate with the other ants in their evil cunt colony, and they find this poor fucking elephant, and they climb up, and they eat him ears first.
02:24:49.000 Did you, you must have, if you're a cunt thing, because you know those guys, my boys in San Antonio who made this big promotional video for me that said, no cunts.
02:24:58.000 You're coming to Brian Gallant, that squad.
02:24:59.000 You cunt his show.
02:25:00.000 No cunts, please.
02:25:02.000 Is that from you?
02:25:03.000 Is that your, uh...
02:25:04.000 Yeah, no.
02:25:04.000 I mean, I think that's the number one problem with human beings.
02:25:08.000 The number one problem.
02:25:09.000 We eliminated cunts.
02:25:11.000 All cunts.
02:25:11.000 Male cunts, by the way.
02:25:13.000 There's a tarantula hawk.
02:25:14.000 Show them that.
02:25:15.000 How about that?
02:25:16.000 You want to get stung by that, motherfucker?
02:25:18.000 They actually catch tarantulas, though.
02:25:21.000 Yeah, they do.
02:25:22.000 And drag them home, man.
02:25:24.000 What a monster.
02:25:25.000 Flying monster.
02:25:26.000 I'm peeing out of my dick.
02:25:27.000 Go ahead.
02:25:28.000 My point is that if we eliminated that from the world, and everyone left had to figure things out, I think, magically, 99% of the world's problems would immediately be eradicated.
02:25:40.000 I really do believe that.
02:25:42.000 I think most of the world's problems, whether it's crazy, out-of-control bankers that are fucking stealing resources and robbing this country blind, or whether it's evil, corrupt politicians, or whether it's, you know, whatever it is.
02:25:56.000 You get, cut all the cunty human beings out of that equation, And new resolutions automatically begin to show themselves and people automatically begin to try to find ways to work together and stop environmental devastations and figure out how to be profitable while still being ethical.
02:26:14.000 It's a cunt issue.
02:26:15.000 We have like this huge civilization issue that's really a cunt issue.
02:26:20.000 But if you ask them all to line up, you won't have people who self-identify.
02:26:24.000 No, no, of course not.
02:26:25.000 So you need a really good court system.
02:26:27.000 Or mushrooms.
02:26:28.000 Or just you do it.
02:26:29.000 Mushrooms would help.
02:26:30.000 You know, what people need to do is, your ego can convince you of some pretty horrible shit.
02:26:35.000 Because we're in this, we're sort of a species that's in a stage.
02:26:39.000 We're in a stage of not quite being animals, being self-aware, having the ability to communicate.
02:26:45.000 Not really being completely fully, wholly enlightened.
02:26:49.000 And there's a lot of things that slow us down along that way to being completely, wholly enlightened and enjoying this experience as brothers and sisters.
02:26:57.000 And the problem is people that don't get life right.
02:27:00.000 Whether it's genetic, whether it's behavioral because of their environment and the conditioning that they experienced growing up, whatever it is.
02:27:08.000 Those people that don't quite get life right and are just fucking insulting and stupid and annoying and constantly creating their own issues, constantly We're good to go.
02:27:23.000 We're good to go.
02:27:39.000 You gotta have something that allows you to see if it's possible.
02:27:43.000 Some people it's not possible.
02:27:44.000 Some people are so psychologically damaged by the time they become an adult.
02:27:47.000 There's almost nothing you can do for them.
02:27:49.000 But if someone did have enough sense to just stand back and look at their life as if they were trying to give themselves advice.
02:27:59.000 How would you give yourself advice?
02:28:00.000 Have you met you and you saw your issues?
02:28:03.000 What would you say?
02:28:03.000 I'd give myself advice.
02:28:05.000 It's a great move.
02:28:07.000 Do you?
02:28:07.000 All the time?
02:28:08.000 All the time, man.
02:28:10.000 Great move.
02:28:11.000 I think some of it comes also from...
02:28:13.000 There's something in a human being...
02:28:16.000 Somebody once said, this scientist was saying, if you got rid of all the ants on the planet, the Earth would last five years.
02:28:23.000 In other words, all the other animals would die in five years for a whole bunch of reasons, because it's part of the ecosystem.
02:28:28.000 If you got rid of all humans, animals and everything else would be just fine.
02:28:32.000 It would flourish.
02:28:34.000 That is an interesting thing to say.
02:28:37.000 I thought about that because I thought a lot of people, when you couch it in those terms, and I think as a human being you kind of grow up knowing in some ways that we are somehow a burden to the ecosystem.
02:28:51.000 We are a burden to this world, the natural world, and it's something we have to steward properly.
02:28:58.000 There's a built-in sense as a human being that in some ways you are a bit of an intruder, an interruption, and a burden to that which is life-sustaining.
02:29:10.000 I always think, even now...
02:29:11.000 Boy, that's so personal, man.
02:29:13.000 I don't agree with that at all.
02:29:14.000 I'm not saying that I agree.
02:29:15.000 I'm just saying I think that is part of the human psyche and always has been.
02:29:19.000 Really?
02:29:19.000 I think so.
02:29:20.000 I think especially now.
02:29:21.000 Man, I don't think so.
02:29:21.000 I think that's where conservation movements and PETA and things come from.
02:29:25.000 I'm gonna piss while I disagree with you.
02:29:27.000 Oh, shit.
02:29:27.000 You gotta pull yourself out of the hole.
02:29:29.000 Did you hear about this?
02:29:31.000 The Newton families from the victims of the school shooting were in the last mile of the...
02:29:38.000 It was dedicated to the last mile was dedicated to them.
02:29:41.000 So that's where they were all sitting.
02:29:43.000 And that's where all the bombs went off.
02:29:45.000 No.
02:29:45.000 Yeah, so that's a conspiracy going on.
02:29:48.000 Were any of those individuals injured?
02:29:52.000 Well, I'm not sure because they're not saying who's been injured.
02:29:56.000 As if they haven't suffered enough, man.
02:29:59.000 I got kids that age.
02:30:00.000 Yeah.
02:30:01.000 And that's something that, I guess that would have been public information, huh?
02:30:06.000 Yeah.
02:30:06.000 Where those people were.
02:30:07.000 Yeah, because they, I guess they, they, it actually, there's like, there's a, I'm trying to find a video, right, or a photo of it, but there's actually people taking photos in front of it, like the families and stuff like that before it happened.
02:30:22.000 So weird, man.
02:30:25.000 Here we go.
02:30:26.000 Yeah, check this out.
02:30:28.000 It's on hollywoodlife.com and there's photos of them sitting right there.
02:30:41.000 The last mile.
02:30:42.000 Shit.
02:30:43.000 That's crazy.
02:30:44.000 I just gotta say that was one of the most satisfying pisses I've ever had in my life.
02:30:48.000 Congratulations, my friend.
02:30:49.000 Something about taking leaks.
02:30:50.000 What is that?
02:30:51.000 The school shooters were sitting in the last mile of the Boston Marathon from Newton.
02:30:56.000 Oh my god.
02:30:58.000 Yeah.
02:30:59.000 And so, did they get hurt?
02:31:01.000 Probably, but they haven't said who's gotten hurt, though.
02:31:04.000 Oh my god.
02:31:06.000 Some things suck.
02:31:08.000 What the fuck?
02:31:09.000 This whole thing is terrifying.
02:31:11.000 CNN, don't go to CNN, folks.
02:31:13.000 Don't even go look at the front page.
02:31:15.000 It's horrific.
02:31:16.000 There's blood everywhere.
02:31:18.000 It's a cunt problem.
02:31:20.000 It's a cunt problem.
02:31:21.000 That's a cunt problem.
02:31:21.000 I mean, there's obviously simplifying things to the extreme.
02:31:24.000 There's some cunt out there.
02:31:25.000 Don't send me Twitter messages.
02:31:26.000 I know what I'm doing.
02:31:28.000 I know what you're saying.
02:31:29.000 You're absolutely right.
02:31:30.000 I agree with you, but that's obviously missing the point.
02:31:34.000 You know, human beings, man.
02:31:39.000 But capable of amazing shit, you know?
02:31:41.000 I've always said that we can figure out how to get people to everyone get their shit together.
02:31:47.000 We are the bipolar ape.
02:31:48.000 We are the most bipolar ape.
02:31:49.000 Yeah, but I don't think it's important.
02:31:52.000 I mean, I don't think it's necessary for our survival.
02:31:55.000 I don't think we have to be shitty in order to move forward.
02:31:59.000 I agree.
02:32:00.000 I think that's like the old days back when we didn't have technology.
02:32:03.000 I think that's the case.
02:32:05.000 One of the things that puts it into perspective is that a couple thousand years ago, if someone showed up on your shore, those fucking people were dangerous and you had to kill them.
02:32:15.000 You were probably going to get raped and pillaged.
02:32:17.000 And sold into slavery.
02:32:18.000 Now you welcome them as an important part of the tourism industry.
02:32:21.000 That's a completely new development in human history.
02:32:25.000 You have fucking Rosetta Stone so you can figure out what the hell they were saying.
02:32:29.000 It's so true, man.
02:32:31.000 So much of the world, up until literally 300 years ago, less, less, what am I talking about?
02:32:37.000 150 years ago, was in servitude of some kind and usually a form of slavery.
02:32:42.000 Well, what's really trippy is to see North Korea still rocking it old school today.
02:32:47.000 Still rocking a full formal dictatorship.
02:32:50.000 I can't figure out what's going to happen.
02:32:52.000 In some way, it seems...
02:32:57.000 The state department and the military is like, what do you do with these guys?
02:33:03.000 On the other hand, the other half of it seems like serious.
02:33:07.000 I can't tell.
02:33:07.000 Is it not serious or serious?
02:33:09.000 Well, it's bluster.
02:33:10.000 North Korea is always bluster.
02:33:12.000 However, the problem is this kid is 29, maybe 30. They don't know a lot about him.
02:33:17.000 And they're not sure...
02:33:19.000 You're talking about the ruler of North Korea, the son of...
02:33:21.000 Yeah, John Il now, or whatever I think his name is.
02:33:23.000 They don't know...
02:33:24.000 Yeah, they don't know enough about him.
02:33:26.000 And it used to be his father, there was a method to his father's madness.
02:33:29.000 He would create a lot of heat to bring people to the negotiating table to get more aid or whatever.
02:33:34.000 This kid is, they think, probably rattling his sword to get the respect of the ancient generals that actually run that fucking country.
02:33:42.000 We need to bring Dennis Rodman back.
02:33:45.000 You're right, and I'm glad you brought that up.
02:33:47.000 And bring that dude to his senses.
02:33:49.000 Dennis, what'd you think of North Korea?
02:33:50.000 When you have Dennis Rodman in your council, why doesn't he bring Dennis Rodman in and would the United States hook it up and just provide him with a thousand Korean chicks and just let him run it?
02:34:02.000 Let him run that thing.
02:34:05.000 We need him in that gene pool anyway.
02:34:07.000 Could you imagine if the North Koreans love Dennis Rodman so much that they let him become their king?
02:34:13.000 And then somehow in some strange world he goes over there and then all of a sudden he starts giving press conferences that Dennis Rodman is now running North Korea.
02:34:21.000 Dennis Rodman.
02:34:22.000 Dennis Rodman for president of North Korea.
02:34:25.000 Listen, man, it's not outside the realm of possibility.
02:34:28.000 How many steps removed from that is Arnold Schwarzenegger running California?
02:34:32.000 How many steps removed?
02:34:33.000 It's only a few chapters of ridiculous parody.
02:34:38.000 Minnesota had a toy governor for a while.
02:34:40.000 Listen, I was a Navy SEAL and I know about chemtrails and thermite.
02:34:45.000 You can't say he was a pro wrestler.
02:34:47.000 Yes, he was.
02:34:48.000 And a Navy SEAL medic.
02:34:49.000 Yeah.
02:34:50.000 And, you know...
02:34:51.000 And a huge man.
02:34:52.000 And a conspiracy theorist to the extreme.
02:34:54.000 Yeah, he's got that show called Conspiracy Theory, right?
02:34:58.000 Yeah.
02:34:58.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:34:59.000 He's always looking for thermite.
02:35:01.000 Does the leader...
02:35:02.000 Thermite.
02:35:03.000 Does the leader...
02:35:03.000 Kim Il-yung-un?
02:35:06.000 Please say it correctly.
02:35:07.000 Please say it correctly.
02:35:07.000 I don't know how I would.
02:35:08.000 Please say our dear leader.
02:35:09.000 Isn't it horrible?
02:35:10.000 It's so American to not be able to...
02:35:12.000 Kim Jong-un.
02:35:13.000 Kim Jong-un.
02:35:14.000 He's such a dick.
02:35:15.000 Is that exactly what I'm saying?
02:35:16.000 But does he have...
02:35:17.000 Does he have the legal...
02:35:19.000 What passes for legal authority to commit forces the same way that the US president could commit forces for 60 or 70 days?
02:35:27.000 I don't know.
02:35:28.000 They declared war on South Korea, though.
02:35:30.000 Well, he's essentially a dictator.
02:35:31.000 Well, the Korean War never actually ended.
02:35:32.000 I mean, it's just the state of justice.
02:35:34.000 They've always been in the state of He's essentially a dictator, right?
02:35:36.000 So, I mean...
02:35:37.000 But is he like the Iranian president who is really like...
02:35:42.000 He's very different.
02:35:43.000 He's like a godhead.
02:35:44.000 I mean, he's a godhead of state.
02:35:46.000 He's a religious figure.
02:35:49.000 The North Koreans have been indoctrinated.
02:35:52.000 For example, every North Korean home, from what I understand, has a speaker.
02:35:56.000 And when the dear leader would speak, it would blast in your home and you had to memorize that speech.
02:36:04.000 Oh, Jesus.
02:36:05.000 Man, if I had one of those and I could make everybody do that...
02:36:08.000 What would you speech be around?
02:36:10.000 I don't know.
02:36:10.000 I'd think of something good, though, man.
02:36:11.000 It's like...
02:36:12.000 What would you say if you could say something to everybody?
02:36:14.000 An overcooked diver duck.
02:36:16.000 People would be like, what the fuck is our dear leader talking about?
02:36:19.000 Overcooked diver duck.
02:36:20.000 There it is.
02:36:22.000 I might just tell people sugar's bad.
02:36:24.000 Mmm, so delicious, though.
02:36:25.000 Yeah, it is.
02:36:26.000 That's the problem.
02:36:29.000 I know these cupcakes aren't good for you, but goddamn it here, Squibb.
02:36:32.000 You've got to eat enough good food that you could do this though.
02:36:35.000 That's the balance to life.
02:36:36.000 I agree.
02:36:37.000 The balance to life is kale shakes and cupcakes.
02:36:40.000 Kale shakes and cupcakes.
02:36:42.000 You've got to be able to work them all together.
02:36:43.000 That should be a fucking t-shirt.
02:36:45.000 Kale shakes and cupcakes.
02:36:47.000 It's important, man.
02:36:50.000 Delicious food, passion, a little wine.
02:36:52.000 Yep, I love wine.
02:36:53.000 It's important.
02:36:54.000 Hey, we've got to drink some good wine.
02:36:55.000 And you pay since you're richer than I am.
02:36:57.000 Okay, I'll do it.
02:36:58.000 I don't give a fuck.
02:36:59.000 I love Joe Rogan.
02:37:00.000 Joe Rogan is the greatest.
02:37:02.000 We go to dinner one time, and I was like, I've been reading about wine, so I looked at the list, and I was like, I'm going to choose.
02:37:09.000 Ah, yes, we'll get the right Bank Bordeaux here.
02:37:11.000 And I'm asking questions.
02:37:12.000 And Rogan goes, hey, hey, fuckface, let me show you the Joe Rogan way of ordering wine.
02:37:16.000 He goes, oh, that's expensive as shit.
02:37:18.000 We'll get that one.
02:37:20.000 You're ruining everything!
02:37:22.000 I'm trying to impress people.
02:37:23.000 I'm like, no way!
02:37:24.000 Brian would pretend to understand.
02:37:26.000 See, one of the reasons why I have very little tolerance with you when it comes to that is that I have my other good friend, Matt Lichtenberg, who's a huge wine fanatic.
02:37:36.000 Legit.
02:37:36.000 The guy has a fucking crazy wine cellar, temperature-controlled in his house.
02:37:41.000 Ancient wines and shit and all these important ones.
02:37:44.000 That motherfucker knows wine.
02:37:46.000 You don't know what you're talking about.
02:37:48.000 I don't like shit.
02:37:48.000 I don't like shit.
02:37:50.000 I can call Matt up and go, hey, Matt, I go, this is my choices.
02:37:53.000 You know, a Bordeaux from blah, blah, blah, or a blah, blah, blah.
02:37:56.000 And he'll tell you, well, Oregon in 2007 is the shit.
02:38:00.000 If you can get a Pinot from Oregon for 2007 and it's this particular vineyard, he just knows.
02:38:05.000 He's a legit wine connoisseur.
02:38:08.000 I went to his birthday party.
02:38:10.000 And they had this really nutty dinner where they gave what they call flights of wine.
02:38:13.000 Yeah, I know about that stuff.
02:38:15.000 Yeah, and they were all like drinking it and describing the earthy tones.
02:38:18.000 And this one is oak and this one.
02:38:20.000 That's my favorite thing to do.
02:38:21.000 I'll do that all day.
02:38:22.000 All day.
02:38:23.000 I will do it.
02:38:25.000 I'll sit there and I love pretending.
02:38:27.000 I love it.
02:38:28.000 I'll wear a tweed jacket.
02:38:30.000 I'll wear a scarf.
02:38:31.000 I would definitely wear a scarf.
02:38:32.000 What I'm thinking of is the vertical.
02:38:34.000 There's a vertical and a horizontal flight.
02:38:37.000 I don't know.
02:38:38.000 A vertical flight would be...
02:38:39.000 A horizontal flight would be where you take a year and you go to all the great Bordeauxs and you get their Bordeaux from that year.
02:38:50.000 It's a horizontal flight.
02:38:51.000 A vertical flight is you take a specific vineyard and you collect all the years from that specific vineyard.
02:38:59.000 So you might host a vertical and it's like...
02:39:04.000 Chateau whatever, 1920 to 1945, and you're going to taste a 25-year span out of that production.
02:39:12.000 The reason I know this, and I want to do a shameless plug, my buddy Ben Wallace has this great book, The Billionaire's Vinegar, and it's about the most expensive bottle of wine ever sold, but what is good wine?
02:39:23.000 Do we know good wine when we taste it?
02:39:24.000 It's fascinating.
02:39:26.000 Well, if you get really old shit, most likely it's not good anymore, right?
02:39:29.000 Well, the problem is, as his book explains, is the problem is The most expensive bottle of wine ever sold wound up being fraudulent, but it was purported to be owned by Thomas Jefferson.
02:39:42.000 Steve Forbes owned it for a while and all these different guys owned this bottle of wine.
02:39:45.000 One of the Koch brothers owned it for a while.
02:39:48.000 And in the end, there's no one around who can go, I've had a lot of wine from that year.
02:39:54.000 Right.
02:39:55.000 And that's right on the money.
02:39:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:39:58.000 That's true.
02:39:59.000 Isn't it crazy, though, that these different rich guys had the wine and sold it to each other?
02:40:03.000 Like, they passed it off.
02:40:05.000 You know what Forbes did?
02:40:06.000 Forbes stored it in a...
02:40:08.000 They put it in their corporate headquarters, and they had it in a box, like a glass-lit box as a decoration, but they had it standing upright with a heat lamp in there or a lamp.
02:40:16.000 Oh, no!
02:40:17.000 And it dried that cork out, and the cork fell into the bottle.
02:40:21.000 So later, when people were trying to analyze what was in it, They can never rule out the intrusion of foreign substances, which will not allow them to find out what it was.
02:40:31.000 The guy who created the hoax would take really good wine and do weird stuff to it.
02:40:40.000 Like he'd put a little bit of vanilla extract in there.
02:40:43.000 Or he'd put some dirt from his gutter in there.
02:40:45.000 Just weird things he could do to kind of throw people.
02:40:49.000 And then guys that are big swinging dicks about wine would taste it and be like, oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:40:55.000 It's so great.
02:40:58.000 It's a brilliant book, man.
02:40:59.000 It's such a pretentious fucking thing.
02:41:02.000 I love it!
02:41:03.000 I got invited by a huge guy who owned a paparazzi company, and he invited me to a wine tasting.
02:41:10.000 And he goes, I don't want, you can't really, he was trying to be really nice to me, he goes, I'm going to bring wine from my cellar for you.
02:41:17.000 I said, I'll buy some wine.
02:41:18.000 He goes, I don't want to be a dick to you, but you can't afford the wines we're going to bring.
02:41:23.000 And I go, alright, geez.
02:41:25.000 So how much was the most expensive wine you brought?
02:41:27.000 Literally, I was drinking 1961 Stony Hills.
02:41:30.000 I mean, I was drinking wines that would cost you $2,000 to drink.
02:41:35.000 The taster for Zaki's wine, the guy who sets the standard, was there.
02:41:39.000 So anyway, I go there and I'm drinking crazy.
02:41:43.000 1960, 1963, 1964. What is it like?
02:41:45.000 What is it like?
02:41:46.000 Well, for me, because I love wine so much, there is a difference.
02:41:49.000 Now, here's the thing.
02:41:50.000 If you spend $300 on a bottle of wine, there's a big difference.
02:41:54.000 You're going to taste an amazing wine if you know what to get versus a $50 bottle of wine.
02:41:58.000 However, the difference between $300 and $1,000, I don't think...
02:42:02.000 There's no difference.
02:42:03.000 Now you're talking about scarcity.
02:42:05.000 Now you're going into years and there's one left and stuff.
02:42:08.000 I want to back up, though, because I want to clarify.
02:42:11.000 It's too easy to hack on wine connoisseurs.
02:42:14.000 I do want to say this.
02:42:17.000 The handful of times someone did present to me what's critically regarded as a good wine, I was able to taste that wine and say...
02:42:27.000 I get what you're saying.
02:42:29.000 There's something going on here that was not going on in all the other wine I've had my whole life.
02:42:34.000 It's wasted on me.
02:42:37.000 It's wasted on me, but I recognize what you're saying.
02:42:39.000 There's something going on here.
02:42:41.000 I don't think it's all smoke and mirrors.
02:42:43.000 It's not all BS at all.
02:42:45.000 No, it's definitely not all BS, and it's amazing the subtle differences in different glasses of wine.
02:42:50.000 And I always equate it to this.
02:42:51.000 Like, if I drink an amazing bottle of wine, like, say, 500 or whatever, like, my friend made a fortune, and he's a huge wine guy like your buddy, I always describe it this way.
02:43:00.000 I go, when I drink an amazing glass of wine, I say to him, I, I, the way I, the reason it's expensive, I go, nothing else tastes like that.
02:43:07.000 That, that taste, that experience stands on its own.
02:43:11.000 You don't, you can go, oh, it tastes just like this.
02:43:13.000 No.
02:43:13.000 It stands on its own.
02:43:15.000 It's so complex.
02:43:17.000 And it's an experience.
02:43:18.000 Right.
02:43:18.000 For me, I love it.
02:43:20.000 If you had to choose, though, if you had to choose between no wine for the rest of your life or bland food, what is more important?
02:43:29.000 The taste of food or the taste of wine?
02:43:32.000 I gotta go with food.
02:43:32.000 100%, right?
02:43:33.000 I can live without wine, no problem.
02:43:35.000 Yeah, I gotta go with food.
02:43:35.000 I don't need wine.
02:43:37.000 I like it.
02:43:38.000 Yeah, when I'm eating very high-quality, good food that I won't have again, I typically...
02:43:45.000 I like to eat it with water.
02:43:46.000 Yeah, me too.
02:43:48.000 Sometimes you have food that's so good, like I was just in Louisiana this weekend and I went to this restaurant called Revolution.
02:43:54.000 I had a gnocchi, a lobster gnocchi.
02:43:57.000 I don't like the way you say gnocchi.
02:43:59.000 I don't like the way you say Afghanistan.
02:44:01.000 I don't like any of that.
02:44:02.000 At least I didn't say Norlins.
02:44:03.000 I'm not supporting you in any of these endeavors.
02:44:05.000 I was in Norlins.
02:44:05.000 I had a crawfish.
02:44:08.000 Etouffee.
02:44:09.000 Etouffee.
02:44:10.000 Crawfish etouffee.
02:44:11.000 Etouffee.
02:44:12.000 It's like you're giving a nod toward, yeah, I like it.
02:44:17.000 I'm not going to start doing it, but you're kind of saying, yeah, man, there's more to the earth.
02:44:23.000 There's more to the globe.
02:44:24.000 No.
02:44:25.000 Now they're gonna demonstrate this by having crazy pronunciation.
02:44:28.000 To me, it's like the gold chains of language.
02:44:31.000 He just showed up with a bunch of fucking language gold chains.
02:44:34.000 I was in Bahrain.
02:44:36.000 We spent time in France.
02:44:38.000 There was a little bit of work done in Afghanistan where they were perpetrating Taliban.
02:44:44.000 When I was visiting Chile, we...
02:44:48.000 I say Steve Rinella.
02:44:51.000 Steve Rinella.
02:44:53.000 You know Steve Rinella, my friend Steve Rinella.
02:44:56.000 His family's had good rabbit.
02:44:58.000 But really good food is another thing that's transcendental, man.
02:45:02.000 Yeah, I don't need good wine, but I do need good food.
02:45:06.000 It's the experience.
02:45:07.000 We were talking about your friend that doesn't like food.
02:45:09.000 I have a friend who's just like that too.
02:45:11.000 He's like, I just want to eat and then get done and then do my thing.
02:45:14.000 It's like, man, I get it.
02:45:16.000 But maybe he just tastes things different than I do.
02:45:20.000 It has to be.
02:45:22.000 Some people like shit and other people hate it.
02:45:25.000 Like, I love sea urchin.
02:45:26.000 I think it tastes delicious.
02:45:28.000 I do too.
02:45:28.000 But I've tried to give people sea urchin and they're like, this is disgusting.
02:45:31.000 Oh my god.
02:45:32.000 Like, they spit it into a napkin like, oh!
02:45:34.000 Yeah.
02:45:35.000 I like it.
02:45:36.000 Some people make a monastic decision.
02:45:39.000 They're kind of like, you know, with all the human suffering in the world or whatever, it's like, you know, I don't want to be a glutton in that way.
02:45:50.000 I look at it differently.
02:45:51.000 I look at it as, I have the opportunity to eat incredible food.
02:45:55.000 I'm going to eat this for the people that can't eat.
02:45:56.000 And I'm going to pay attention to it.
02:45:58.000 In support of all the suffering people, I'm going to enjoy this meal.
02:46:01.000 I do.
02:46:01.000 Yeah, as long as you're not victimizing someone and you're enjoying that food, you should just be enjoying that food.
02:46:06.000 Enjoy that moment.
02:46:07.000 The idea that human beings have to be in perspective of six billion other fucking people is so crazy.
02:46:14.000 Because otherwise you'll never be happy.
02:46:15.000 You'll never be happy because the world is filled with suffering.
02:46:18.000 I mean, there's always tragic instances happening all over the world where people get hit in the head by coconuts, okay?
02:46:24.000 You should not be eating and enjoying your steak because some poor farmer got hit in the head with a coconut and fucking died.
02:46:30.000 Because that shit happens 150 times a year.
02:46:31.000 Right, and not only that, but what about the fact that people who can really cook, that's an art form.
02:46:36.000 Fuck yeah, it is.
02:46:37.000 They dedicate their life to it, and it makes your life...
02:46:40.000 It just makes the world a better place.
02:46:42.000 I don't want to live in a world with bad...
02:46:44.000 With bad food or food to where people don't take care of.
02:46:47.000 Yeah, you do.
02:46:47.000 You'd rather live in that world than not be alive.
02:46:51.000 Someone said, alright, no good food.
02:46:52.000 You don't know me, Joe.
02:46:54.000 No good food, but also no zombies or good food and zombies.
02:46:58.000 I want zombies so I can have an arsenal.
02:47:01.000 You could have an arsenal.
02:47:02.000 Can you imagine what Pigman and Nugent would do if we had good food and zombies in this world?
02:47:06.000 Oh man, it would be the greatest show ever.
02:47:08.000 Can you imagine?
02:47:08.000 The television special?
02:47:09.000 On Twitter the other day, the best show ever would be a combination of The Walking Dead and Duck Dynasty.
02:47:14.000 These dudes, they go out, they're doing their fucking wacky stunts, like pretending, well, I couldn't open the door, so I called Bob.
02:47:22.000 This fake scenario, and then all of a sudden, they all get eaten by zombies.
02:47:27.000 Just rip their fucking throats out as they're filming that shitty show.
02:47:30.000 And they eat their beard.
02:47:34.000 And they choke and die.
02:47:35.000 Blood and brains mixed in with beard and they're trying to choke it down and throwing up.
02:47:40.000 Zombies throw up because they can't eat their beard.
02:47:43.000 You know, one of the first TV meetings I ever had was years ago now.
02:47:48.000 I think it was 2004. I had a TV meeting where...
02:47:51.000 A guy, in an aside, explained to me the most brilliant show that he was doing, but I don't think it ever happened.
02:47:57.000 And it was going to be...
02:47:58.000 He was pitching around a show that was going to be...
02:48:03.000 It was going to start like a reality show where you make everybody go live in a house.
02:48:08.000 And you foment the typical interpersonal conflict.
02:48:13.000 And as it would go on...
02:48:16.000 Things would start getting so unusual.
02:48:19.000 He was already like, right when reality TV was starting, he was already trying to think of what he was ahead of his time.
02:48:25.000 He was already thinking like how to toy with it.
02:48:26.000 And he wanted to have it get like increasingly outrageous to build up where people would say like, there's no way, there's no way.
02:48:34.000 And he wanted to bring it to the point where there was a murder.
02:48:37.000 You know?
02:48:38.000 And then there'd be a murder, and then the people in the reality show would be trying to, like, hide the fact that they killed one of the roommates.
02:48:45.000 And it would make this, like, very gradual segue into drama.
02:48:48.000 And I was like, that is the most genius thing.
02:48:50.000 But I don't think he ever...
02:48:52.000 Was he trying for an actual real murder?
02:48:55.000 No, no, no.
02:48:56.000 He was just going to do...
02:48:57.000 He was going to fake it.
02:48:58.000 A scripted reality show.
02:48:59.000 He was going to have a scripted reality show that viewers would...
02:49:03.000 The way viewers don't really understand that reality shows are cast and scripted.
02:49:08.000 He was going to toy with this idea when it was starting to happen.
02:49:11.000 A real world to MTV real world type thing.
02:49:13.000 But build it and as he lost...
02:49:17.000 As he courted, like, an incredulous response in his viewership, being like, there's no way, there's no way, they didn't do that, that didn't happen, to, like, push it so far that the final tipping point would be that they actually kill somebody.
02:49:30.000 In the house.
02:49:31.000 But they don't really kill someone in the house.
02:49:32.000 It's just bullshit.
02:49:33.000 At that point it jumped to being like, we've been messing with you the whole time.
02:49:40.000 This is all just us playing with you.
02:49:42.000 That's Duck Dynasty.
02:49:43.000 That's what I'm talking about.
02:49:44.000 That's the fucking show.
02:49:45.000 Maybe that was the guy.
02:49:46.000 I just never heard anything about beards.
02:49:48.000 He figured out how to dress it up in beards.
02:49:51.000 They look like ZZ Top.
02:49:52.000 I love ZZ Top.
02:49:55.000 Listen, we've got to wrap this bitch up and bring it home.
02:49:57.000 This has been a lot of fun.
02:49:59.000 Cam, thanks for coming on, man.
02:50:00.000 Absolutely.
02:50:00.000 Sorry you had to share a microphone, but this is a really low-tech fucking studio.
02:50:04.000 I need to get my act together.
02:50:06.000 This is the most people we've ever had on microphone.
02:50:08.000 And it worked out.
02:50:08.000 We did it.
02:50:09.000 This is awesome.
02:50:09.000 Thanks for having me on, man.
02:50:11.000 And so April 28th is the show on Meat Eater.
02:50:15.000 It's on the Sportsman's channel.
02:50:17.000 You can find it on the internet in your local...
02:50:20.000 When are we doing this again, man?
02:50:21.000 When are we hunting again?
02:50:22.000 What are we doing?
02:50:22.000 We just gotta line it up.
02:50:24.000 I could always justify it.
02:50:26.000 Let's do it.
02:50:27.000 Yeah.
02:50:27.000 Come on, man.
02:50:28.000 I think we should do a wild pig thing.
02:50:30.000 Let's do it.
02:50:31.000 From the ground.
02:50:32.000 From the ground.
02:50:32.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:50:33.000 No helicopters.
02:50:34.000 Can we not do it April 25th, 26th, 27th, 28th?
02:50:36.000 Because I'll be in Edmonton at the Comic Street.
02:50:38.000 Oh, wow.
02:50:39.000 As long as we don't do it then, I'll be...
02:50:40.000 I'm not playing my dad.
02:50:41.000 Edmonton, Alberta, Canada?
02:50:42.000 Yeah, I'll just be there doing stand-up at April 25th.
02:50:46.000 It's 26th, 27th, and 28th.
02:50:48.000 Alright, we're going to work it out, but we're all going together again?
02:50:49.000 Fuck yeah, we're going together again.
02:50:51.000 I'm absolutely committed.
02:50:52.000 Northern California?
02:50:53.000 I'm committed.
02:50:54.000 So April 28th, you'll see our show.
02:50:56.000 I've watched both of them.
02:50:58.000 It was really fun, man.
02:50:59.000 It was such a good day.
02:51:00.000 It was such a cool experience.
02:51:01.000 Some of the best food, most satisfying food I've ever eaten in my life.
02:51:05.000 Sitting down on the ground, 10 degrees outside, cooking deer over a fire.
02:51:09.000 It was fucking amazing.
02:51:10.000 Let's do it again.
02:51:10.000 Couldn't have been more fun.
02:51:12.000 The cashmere killer.
02:51:12.000 The cashmere killer!
02:51:14.000 I'm writing a blog about the entire event that I'll put up this week because I have pictures of Brian taking a shit outside and we put a flag, an aluminum foil in it, and we're going to offer money on Twitter, like $1,000, if anybody could find it and take a picture of their face next to Brian's shit,
02:51:31.000 if you could find it on the Missouri Breaks.
02:51:33.000 We'll give you a rough Am I excluded?
02:51:36.000 Yeah, you're excluded.
02:51:38.000 It turns out we had to put the poop in biodegradable bags.
02:51:43.000 You had to take your poop with it.
02:51:44.000 You're not supposed to leave your poop behind.
02:51:46.000 That makes it all the more tricky to find.
02:51:49.000 Those bags, those shit bags were space age.
02:51:52.000 Somewhere in a foil bag.
02:51:53.000 They were space age.
02:51:54.000 There's nothing quite like the first night, being outside the tent, shitting into a bag with my pants down.
02:51:59.000 It's pouring rain.
02:52:00.000 Just not quite cold enough for it to freeze.
02:52:02.000 We're just pouring rain.
02:52:04.000 I'm shitting into a bag going, whoa.
02:52:06.000 I was trying to clean my butt with my thermos.
02:52:08.000 I was trying to run water.
02:52:09.000 I ran out of water and I'm cleaning my fucking butt.
02:52:13.000 I have to ask this before we...
02:52:15.000 Are we going to release the ravine-comer footage and put that on the internet?
02:52:18.000 Is it possible?
02:52:19.000 It just isn't because it would...
02:52:23.000 I work for people.
02:52:25.000 You can't have me mock coming in a ravine?
02:52:29.000 Here's the better answer.
02:52:30.000 I'm not the guy to ask.
02:52:31.000 And that's dead serious.
02:52:34.000 Whoever's the editor.
02:52:35.000 Talk over there.
02:52:36.000 Whoever's the editor.
02:52:37.000 I got a fat bag of weed with your name on it, and I know you want it.
02:52:40.000 Okay, let's make this happen.
02:52:41.000 We need to get the ravine cover, and we need to get it on the internet.
02:52:44.000 And me pulling quills out of your rump.
02:52:45.000 Yeah, that was fun, too.
02:52:47.000 That's out there.
02:52:48.000 Oh, it's on the internet?
02:52:49.000 Is it on the internet?
02:52:50.000 We're a family program, but that's out there.
02:52:53.000 We're putting that out.
02:52:54.000 Okay, beautiful.
02:52:55.000 Yeah, Brian, for like an hour, pulled quills out of my ass.
02:52:59.000 You know, it was very heartfelt, man.
02:53:01.000 It was very heartfelt.
02:53:02.000 And it made me appreciate you guys' friendship.
02:53:05.000 Because you were joking about it.
02:53:07.000 You were joking about it, but he did it.
02:53:09.000 Oh, no.
02:53:09.000 You know what I mean?
02:53:10.000 A lot of dudes would just be like, uh-uh, I ain't doing that.
02:53:12.000 I ain't no homo.
02:53:13.000 And they wouldn't do it.
02:53:14.000 And I would do it for him in a fucking heartbeat.
02:53:16.000 Dick party.
02:53:17.000 All right.
02:53:17.000 Dick party.
02:53:18.000 What's that?
02:53:19.000 Dick party.
02:53:20.000 Dick party.
02:53:21.000 Yeah.
02:53:21.000 Thanks to Hover.com for sponsoring this program.
02:53:23.000 Go to Hover.com forward slash Rogan.
02:53:25.000 Get 10% off your domain name.
02:53:28.000 Thanks also to Ting for sponsoring our podcast.
02:53:31.000 If you go to Rogan.Ting.com, you can save yourself...
02:53:35.000 What is it?
02:53:35.000 25 bucks.
02:53:36.000 25 bucks off of either a phone or service.
02:53:39.000 Thanks also to Onnit.com.
02:53:41.000 That's O-N-N-I-T. Use the code name Rogan.
02:53:44.000 Save 10% off.
02:53:46.000 You can follow Steven Ranella on Twitter.
02:53:49.000 That is his Twitter name.
02:53:50.000 It's Steven Ranella with a V. Not some fucking PH like some freak that likes to spell.
02:53:57.000 Why would you spell it with a PH when you can use a V and I know exactly what the fuck you're saying.
02:54:04.000 Huh?
02:54:06.000 Follow him on Twitter.
02:54:07.000 And follow MeatEater on Twitter as well.
02:54:09.000 And Brian Gallon.
02:54:10.000 Get the Sportsman's channel if you don't have it.
02:54:12.000 If you want to see us on our fucking amazing, life-changing hunt.
02:54:17.000 It was a great time.
02:54:18.000 Thank you, my brother.
02:54:19.000 Appreciate it.
02:54:19.000 We're going to do this again.
02:54:20.000 We're going to do podcasts again.
02:54:22.000 We're going to hunt again.
02:54:24.000 We're going to live, goddammit.
02:54:25.000 And you're going to live, too.
02:54:26.000 We're going to get through this shit.
02:54:28.000 Stay together.
02:54:29.000 Keep it together.
02:54:30.000 Love your neighbor.
02:54:31.000 Kumbaya.
02:54:31.000 And eat meat.
02:54:32.000 And come in ravines whenever possible.
02:54:34.000 Ravine cover!