On this week's episode of the Joe Rogan Experience, the boys discuss the new law that bans people who shit on the subway in San Francisco, a werewolf in the hotel lobby, and the best way to sell your phone on the phone company Ting. Also, the guys talk about the new Ting app and how it's going to change the way we use our phones in the future, and how they're going to make it cheaper for us to get our phones on the market. Joe also talks about how he's selling Ting, and why he thinks it's a good idea. And, of course, he talks about the Law of Shitting in Your Pants and why you should be scared of werewolves. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. The theme song is Come Alone by Suneaters, courtesy of Lotuspool Records. Our ad music is by Build Buildings. Please rate, review, and subscribe to our podcast on Apple Podcasts and Podchaser. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review! We'll be looking out for the next episode next week with a review on iTunes! Thank you so much for all the love, support, and support! Peace, Blessings, Joe, EJ and EJ. (and Cheers. Cheers, Cheers! - The Joe Rogans. - Jon and the Podcast - EJ & the Joe & the Podcast. . -Jon and the Podcast, Jon Rogans and the Crew Joe and the Podchucks . . Jon & the PodChucks - J. Rogan. Jon -- Tom and the pod, Joe 5th, Joe 5 , Joe5 And the Pod Chicks AND THE PODCAST, , Joe 5, and The PodChicks, & The Pod Chucks , and The Podchicks, and ... This is , JOSEPHOST, JOE 5, JOB 5, and JOSETTE, AND JEAN, and JOSIE, and THE MAGIC, etc.
00:01:38.000Squarespace is a website-building website.
00:01:42.000If you've ever thought about starting your own business, Website, just to fucking write shit down, just to create a blog, just for fun, just to, you know, whatever.
00:01:52.000Make a website with pictures of you and your friends.
00:01:55.000If you wanted to do that, Squarespace is one of the easiest ways to do it.
00:01:59.000Unlike in the past where you had to get to know a program and learn Dreamweaver or actually try to code it yourself with HTML, which is so beyond my grasp.
00:02:10.000I wouldn't even think about attempting to do that.
00:07:39.000I read an article about teenagers that their brains aren't fully developed.
00:07:43.000And there's a reason they get in so many accidents, because their perception and their reactions are good physically, but they make wrong choices.
00:08:41.000You know, if you really think about it, it's going to have to be like a Wi-Fi network or something everywhere that controls these cars.
00:08:46.000I mean, they would have to have like real control.
00:08:49.000To let a car go and just drive around with no person touching the handles and make sure that it stays on path, wow, I would think that would be really hard to pull off.
00:09:01.000I mean, I don't know how you're controlling it.
00:09:02.000I don't understand how's it getting to it.
00:09:04.000It's got to get there from a cell phone service.
00:09:06.000There's got to be some sort of a signal that's reaching the car, unless the car is just a robot, a self-sufficient robot, which is even crazier.
00:12:53.000They also save you money on the bill by if you don't use, like if you use under your minutes, they credit you the difference on your next bill.
00:13:00.000They bump you down to a lower level and they credit you the difference.
00:14:55.000It's the Extreme Kettlebell Cardio DVD. We sell it on Onnit.com, and we have the new one, Extreme Kettlebell 2. Which I haven't done yet, but I'm sure it's awesome.
00:15:05.000The guy, Keith Webber, is a bad motherfucker.
00:15:08.000And it's a great way to, like, you force yourself to just keep up with him.
00:15:12.000Just force yourself to do what he's doing, and it'll just kick your fucking ass.
00:15:17.000See, I'm built like that under my present body.
00:20:04.000He's one of those super dedicated, super disciplined dudes that can force himself to work an hour and a half a day and eat strictly healthy.
00:23:14.000I know when you get that look that you're thinking it, but you don't go into action.
00:23:18.000I remember one night, some drunken kids came up to us at the pool hall, and one kid just fucking lit you up, and I just looked at you, and I thought, I know he ain't gonna lose it, but this kid has no idea the fucking danger he's in.
00:23:30.000Well, I remember what you were talking about.
00:28:20.000I mean, if you went to see a Mel Brooks movie, there's really no one to compare it to today, because he would act in them, he would write them.
00:30:39.000And whether that tribe is being a Republican, or whether that tribe is listening to fucking classical music, you know, whatever the fuck it is that they decide this is where they draw the line, this is where they take a stand.
00:30:54.000It's weird deviations of our need to form groups, you know, so we'll get upset about shit that doesn't matter even a little bit.
00:31:01.000I try and not be stuck in any one era.
00:31:05.000The only thing I was thinking, I don't even know if this is funny or not, but what's going to happen in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 15 years when there's no groups left and rap music is dominant?
00:32:19.000He got famous to the point where it probably fucks with your head.
00:32:22.000Yeah, well, you know, I was thinking last time we were shooting pool, and you're very good with people, but the guy got on your nerves because Joe was just, we were getting tired, and both of us were kind of tired, and you said, I'm fucking racking the balls he wants to take a picture.
00:34:48.000You say that like, you know what else makes your balls hurt right here?
00:34:51.000I was out to a restaurant last night with a friend of mine.
00:34:55.000You know those guys that make everything sexual, like whatever, and the waitress was, her fish was taken long, and waitress, I'll get you some zucchini sticks.
00:38:39.000It's a horrible aspect to dealing with other people.
00:38:47.000When you're all in the same sort of business together and there becomes a guy who just for one reason or another just can't seem to get it together.
00:39:08.000He played a character that was part of Vince Papali's group, the guy who was the football player who they based the movie on.
00:39:15.000And it was an interesting character because he was...
00:39:18.000He's so resentful of his friend's success that when everybody was cheering, you just see him looking in his glass and stirring, you know, like, fuck, he got something else in life.
00:42:21.000But it's another part of your act, sort of.
00:42:26.000Jamie and I were talking about that before you came in, and I asked him, and it was kind of awkward, but I had to ask him, do you have eye makeup on?
00:42:48.000The idea that your podcast is a part of your act, I mean, it's like, when you're doing stand-up, you know, one thing that you're selling almost more than anything is like a point of view.
00:43:02.000It's like one of the beautiful things about watching a guy is that you lock into the way he's thinking, and you go, oh, I see what he's...
00:45:47.000No, they're having fun, and the fact that they can do it to each other, you know, it's a part of being a comic.
00:45:55.000The busting balls thing is a part of being a comic.
00:45:57.000Yeah, well, when you said something a couple minutes ago about the guys who seriously talk about themselves in comedy, like, you know what, first of all, I'm not bragging, but I was incredible.
00:49:20.000So he backed away, and I don't remember how it was resolved, because this was, Jesus, this was like 1991 or something like that, 92. Anybody ever come on stage with you?
00:52:47.000So, like, even though you see those guys, like, you know, maybe every now and again, you don't really like buddies with them.
00:52:53.000It's not like you can sit down with them and be yourself.
00:52:56.000No, but I gotta say, the thing about Ferguson, he never gets to a question.
00:53:01.000All the times I've done, I've done his show probably eight times, never gets, they ask, they have the pre-interview and the producers call, the segment producers, and they're so worried about what you're going to say.
00:53:10.000Oh, he doesn't know much about baseball, but he knows about football, and all right, all right.
00:53:15.000And then never gets to a fucking thing.
00:54:29.000It was, I don't want to paraphrase, but it was right around the time when she kept running into all these problems, and it was obvious that there was something wrong, but she was fucking tailspinning.
00:54:40.000He basically was like, why does everybody care about this?
00:54:44.000Like, you're talking about a little girl who needs help, like a young girl who needs help.
00:54:48.000And it was kind of, I mean, I didn't say little girl, but a young lady who needs help.
00:54:57.000You could tell it wasn't something that was like he was posturing and he was making an attempt at saying this because he just wanted to achieve some moral high ground or something like that.
00:56:56.000Anyway, his manager came up to Jamie to ask me to mention that he was there.
00:57:03.000I thought that was so unusual, because, you know, a lot of times, like, say, Sean Penn comes in, he just wears his baseball cap down, nothing, not a word.
00:59:53.000Imagine what, if you were like a long time bullshitter, like if you're a crazy con man type dude and you're just an excellent bullshitter for many, many years.
01:00:08.000It's like, oh, I was watching Catch Me If You Can the other day where Leonardo DiCaprio becomes a pilot when he's 17 and starts making checks and getting money.
01:00:43.000Those days are, you have to be really dumb.
01:00:45.000I'm sure there's people that are really dumb or get, you know, they're super gullible, older folks, people with mental illnesses that get sucked into weird deals.
01:00:52.000Yeah, and people that are trying to get a quick buck, like the Madoff thing.
01:00:57.000Madoff thing, I was personally affected by that because of people I love.
01:01:00.000But a lot of people were just looking for- People that you love lost money?
01:02:13.000And these are people that, like I said, I know a lot of people and I care about them, but They readily admit they were looking for a quick buck.
01:02:33.000And then the wife's trying to squirrel some away and disappear into the night while the husband's locked up in jail for the rest of his life.
01:02:57.000Especially when you're a young man and you probably grow up thinking that your family is doing really well because your father is a hard-working, smart man and then he brings you into the business.
01:03:11.000And then somewhere along the line they probably had it figured out.
01:05:23.000It was so dynamic, the way he moved, the way he paused and expressed himself.
01:05:28.000And he had moments like that that make me think, if that guy just really dedicated himself to nothing but stand-up and really went legit and went down the path, he had moments.
01:05:41.000If he could recapture those moments...
01:07:02.000The man, the guy goes, I couldn't fucking find them.
01:07:05.000Well, if you like to wear, if you have a thing where you need to wear brand new sneakers right as you walk on stage and that gives you, like, superpower, that might sound ridiculous, but if you were a young guy and you grew up When you got a new pair of sneakers,
01:07:24.000So it could be that by not wearing the sneakers until he goes on stage, he makes him feel like with new sneakers on, it gives him a little extra power.
01:08:03.000When we get fucking serious here, Dom Herrera and I, when we play, we occasionally will joke around, but Dom plays a very good pool, and I play a pretty good pool, and we have some fun battles.
01:12:27.000Everybody knows Jeanette Lee because she's a beautiful Asian woman.
01:12:31.000But there's like a whole gang of like top pros that would tour around the country and this woman consistently beat all of them on a regular basis.
01:12:41.000She was like player of the year, like who knows how many fucking years in a row.
01:12:44.000She won the U.S. Open, who knows how many years in a row, like, or what not, I don't know if it was the U.S. Open, WPBA, whatever their version of like their national championship, she would win every I don't even understand.
01:13:09.000Most likely not, and there's a few issues with spatial intelligence.
01:13:15.000There's something to, and this is really theoretical stuff, I think, something to the way the male mind interprets 3D space, that it is beneficial for certain things, and pool might be one of them, because after the break,
01:13:35.000And the average woman could easily stroke a ball about as hard as you need to.
01:13:40.000You really don't ever need to hit it really hard outside of the break.
01:13:43.000The break shot, especially in rotation games or eight ball, it becomes a big issue because if a guy can really smash the rack, he can make, like sometimes you break and you make like four balls on the break.
01:13:54.000There's like that guy Shane Van Boning.
01:13:57.000Who's a fascinating character because he's the best pool player in America and one of the best players in the world.
01:16:08.000It's so much time and so much effort, and the guys that are playing that are at the highest level of the game, they're several notches better than me.
01:16:18.000It wouldn't be an easy thing to even do battle with those guys.
01:16:32.000It's just too bad that that game doesn't get...
01:16:34.000To me, it's like a form of meditation.
01:16:37.000It's like if I can get into the zone and I can block everything else out and I can move the ball exactly where I want it to go and I know where it's going, I know how to hit it, I know what speed to hit it and it gets to the right spot.
01:18:17.000I mean, I was trying to find out what it was and whether or not you incorporated stretches, especially stretches to your shoulders and your spine.
01:18:24.000I especially stretch on the road after flights and all that and, you know.
01:19:16.000And I think whenever I can go on stage and be in more of a silly mood, the sillier I can feel, the more funny I think things are, which is the more funny I... When you get a kick out of it, yeah.
01:19:50.000You know that weird feeling when you watch someone on stage and they're acting pissed off about something, but you know they're not really pissed off about it and how gross that is?
01:20:34.000And I know a lot of us, especially when you're doing it on stage, it's like you just, you know, either you don't realize that yet, or, you know, maybe you're just out of sorts that night.
01:21:18.000But he realized that himself, and he didn't give a fuck anymore.
01:21:22.000And when he didn't give a fuck anymore, that's when people really wanted to hear more.
01:21:27.000And so all the people around him, like if he had anyone around him that didn't believe in him at this point, they all really have fallen by the wayside.
01:21:36.000It's taken a long road for Joey to get recognized as how funny he really is.
01:21:41.000And along the way, a lot of people had a chance to work with that guy and they didn't believe in him.
01:21:54.000I go, he doesn't give a fuck, and he makes me laugh hard.
01:21:57.000And they're like, he's too this, and he's too that, and this doesn't work, and that doesn't work, and if you can't be in a sitcom, you know.
01:25:02.000We were at the Celebrity Theater in Phoenix, and Segura was the opening act.
01:25:10.000Maxim would hire a local act, a local pro, and they would do 10 minutes or so before the show would start with Hefron, and then it would either be me or Charlie Murphy.
01:27:33.000Richard Lewis hid behind the stage until the audience left.
01:27:36.000There was these guys, man, and he was one of them, that for whatever reason, they generated, well, a little bit of Billy Crystal, but more Richard Lewis.
01:29:56.000It just takes away so much energy from your own life.
01:29:59.000Because instead of concentrating on this other person, you should be concentrating on your own shit.
01:30:03.000And if something bothers you, you should find a way, if at all possible, because of course it's some egregious offense or crime or some sort of sin against man and nature, find some way to turn it into a motivating factor for you.
01:30:18.000If you feel weak because you see some guy like I don't know, name your fucking mogul, Bill Gates on TV, and then he's got a billion dollars in his underwear.
01:30:29.000And you feel like, God, I can't even fucking pay my student loans.
01:30:32.000Figure out what the fuck you need to do so that you become so successful that you don't worry about Bill Gates anymore.
01:30:39.000You don't have to be as successful as Bill Gates, but become enough of a person who figures your way through the net of civilization to the point where you don't have to worry.
01:31:36.000Can't talk too much because it is top secret, Don Mariah.
01:31:39.000But for my new sci-fi show, very soon, in the near future, I'm going to go searching for Sasquatch, a very peculiar and particular location that has been known for a high volume of Sasquatch sightings.
01:31:51.000Is there a particular forest that he frequents?
01:32:55.000Well, it's rewarding and beautiful and it connects you to nature and it's very humbling and it's also, you know, it's a really intense thing, like making your own, getting your own food.
01:33:07.000You know, going out and hunting your own food is very intense.
01:33:10.000I don't think everybody should have to do it.
01:33:54.000I think we're so far removed from being in the wilderness that to have an opportunity, especially with expert outdoorsmen, to go out into the wilderness for five days, I'm like, I'm going.
01:34:43.000You going to grab it with your hands, stupid?
01:34:45.000Well, the idea of them swimming upstream, there were so many of them, you could bat them out of the air.
01:34:49.000So ridiculous that that was like the choice for survival, that they would go all the way upstream back to the river, or back up the mouth of the river.
01:36:16.000And the roe of these animals is apparently very much like sturgeon roe, which is what caviar is, which is worth a lot of money.
01:36:27.000And so in order to make sure that they didn't allow a market for this stuff to develop, even though it's legal to kill the animal and legal to eat the animal, it's only legal to possess its roe on the dock.
01:36:43.000You can only either have it on your boat or on the dock.
01:36:45.000So you've got to either eat that roe or throw it out.
01:36:54.000Because then the animal's roe would be worth too much and they would worry that even though you have a certain number that you can kill in a day and eat.
01:37:04.000That's what they were saying when they grilled it.
01:37:06.000They said, you know, because a lot of people have an aversion to eating it because it's a strange, like, it's almost like they have prejudices against it because it doesn't have any bones and it looks like it's a fucking billion years old.
01:40:17.000He got in this wooden boat, okay, with like a hundred hooks in it, and they were in this like tippity-toppity boat, and they're dropping these lines in for giant catfish.
01:40:28.000So at any point in time, something could fucking grab one of those lines and pull those fishing lines, and who knows how many hooks are flying in that guy's direction.
01:40:38.000And actually people have died from that.
01:40:39.000Like one of the people in this tribe died from that.
01:40:42.000He got caught in a hook and dragged underwater.
01:46:35.000I saw a commercial the other day for some sort of clinic for opiate addiction.
01:46:39.000It was just talking about how easy it is to get hooked and all the different people that are hooked and don't want to admit they're hooked.
01:48:14.000It helps me release my current grasp on reality.
01:48:21.000I just think when you get an opportunity to look at things, like coffee doesn't do that.
01:48:26.000Coffee sort of inspires movement, inspires me to act, me to have energy to start things off.
01:48:32.000But for me, the best inspiration is like a mental inspiration, like an inspiration where I can step away from it all and see it from a different perspective.
01:48:40.000That's what, a lot of times, what getting high does for me.
01:48:42.000It allows me to just, like, move over to the next window.
01:48:46.000You know, I've been looking at things through the window of sober, sustained reality.
01:48:50.000Let's move over and look at things from the, oh, look at over here.
01:48:53.000If you're kind of high and you relax a little bit, you realize this is kind of funny, really.
01:48:59.000And then you start poking holes at things.
01:49:01.000I don't get funnier at all with alcohol.
01:52:53.000I mean, especially because the old ladies today, they're like, you know, they were around in the 70s and the 80s, you know, and now they're in the 60s and 70s.
01:53:45.000It's hard to really have time to step back and make fun of it all and step back and look at it for what it really is, some weird temporary state that could end at any minute.
01:53:55.000You know, it's gotta be a weird thing to be a person who's an old person who's just locked and rigid and set in their ways and not seeing the end coming like a goddamn freight train just rolling down the track and they're just...
01:54:09.000Don't be getting philosophical with the meter organ.
01:54:14.000I know, what a waste of fucking energy in life.
01:54:17.000We know a lot of folks like that though, huh?
01:54:19.000I think it's funny, the guys who won't talk, you know, they don't talk a certain way in front of women And yet they have no idea that the group of women are fucking pigs talking about fucking sucking cock and all this shit.
01:54:32.000Yeah, there's some guys that are just, they don't get it.
01:57:27.000She was one of the reasons why, when I wanted to escape, it was Project Escape from L.A., When I was looking at a place to go, Colorado was one of my choices.
01:57:35.000And one of the reasons being is that she has a real comedy scene there.
02:00:45.000Teaching someone something and seeing someone completely dive into something that you appreciate and watching them get better at it.
02:00:53.000It's so rewarding to be able to pass that on.
02:00:56.000I always used to remember my instructor when there was guys that were really good in the class and they did something really good, whether it was a sparring demonstration or whether they did a drill on the bag or something like that.
02:02:31.000Oh, fourth grade is like math, science, everything?
02:02:34.000I mean, yeah, it's different than what you did because you went to some people who had like an interest and a love for something and wanted to explore it, what you were doing.
02:02:48.000I figured I can't teach, these subjects are going to come and go in their lives, but teaching them self-esteem and some of the most rewarding things were like, I had this one kid, he was real shy, he was so shy, he was real tall, and he was embarrassed by it.
02:03:01.000And he would stay in the cloakroom, they'd call it.
02:03:15.000And by the end of me just, like, working his self-esteem and all, he was in the middle of the class, just with everybody else waving his hand and...
02:03:24.000And his mother came up to me and she was like really touched by it and told me that I changed his life.
02:03:30.000And you know, that kind of shit's cool.
02:03:31.000And now I got like a couple of the girls come to see me.
02:03:34.000One of the girls goes, Mr. Irira, why did you let us do so much stuff?
02:03:39.000I said, because you were smarter than me.
02:03:42.000I said, look, I had more knowledge because I was an adult, but you kids, a lot of you have more brain power than me.
02:04:34.000Because you really did it, it's legit.
02:04:37.000And if you really stop and think about it, that would be like, for a kid, that's like one of the greatest rolls of the dice a kid can get for a fourth grade teacher.
02:08:17.000I guess he would put the banana fully formed on his lips and then suck it back into his mouth or something like that and call it a reverse shit with a banana.
02:08:26.000And so Jeff, I'll never forget, he looks over at me and he goes, you don't have to do this.
02:13:11.000They played some thing where if the guy got the question wrong, the porn star beat him with a belt.
02:13:17.000So this chick is like beating this dude's ass with a belt and everyone's screaming and going nuts and then BOOM! They bring Kristina Positsky on stage.
02:14:52.000Because there's nothing worse than befriending someone and then you've never seen them before.
02:14:56.000And you're on those weird pop-in nights at the improv, where a lot of times on those Wednesday and Tuesday night shows, some of the people in the crowd will be supporting the guy who's on stage and they bring like 10 people with them, right?
02:18:13.000He told me that Pesci came in to see his goddaughter at the lab factory, and he thought I was going to go up, so he agreed to do my radio show.
02:18:22.000I had a radio show there at the time, two years ago.