The Joe Rogan Experience - June 03, 2013


Joe Rogan Experience #363 - Everlast


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 47 minutes

Words per Minute

190.34525

Word Count

31,886

Sentence Count

3,263

Misogynist Sentences

123

Hate Speech Sentences

84


Summary

On this episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast, the boys are back with a brand new episode featuring a special guest. They talk about the new JRE microphone, how to get free t-shirts from Death Squad, and much, much more! Joe also talks about his new tattoo that he got on the set of his new comedy show, and how he's going to get it in time for Comic-Con in a few weeks. Also, the guys talk about how much they're getting paid and why they don't care. And of course, there's a new segment called "Joe Rogan's New Tattoo" where they talk about what it's like to get a tattoo from a girl named Selena Gomez. Joe and the boys talk about that and much more on this episode. Enjoy, Freaks! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, rate, and review! We'll be looking out for the next episode next week! Peace, Love, Blessings, Cheers, EJ & Rory. Cheers. - The O.J. & Rory -Jon Sorrentino Joe Rogans and Jon Rogan Jon & Rory, The OJ Rogan Podcast Subscribe and Retweets! - Jon and Rory Rogan, & Jon Rogans, Caitlynchow, Brian, and the OJ Podcast, and the Crew Thank you for listening to this episode, Jon, Jon & Jon, and all the rest of the podcast, Jon and the crew at The Oj Podcast, and Jon & the Crew, and so much more. Jon and Rachael, and Rocha, and everyone else at the JRE Podcast! Jon, Rach & Rachie, and everything else. . Rachio, Rene, R.J & R. Rogan and R. , R. & the rest. R.R. & RYAN, and a whole lot more! -Jon, RACHIO, RABY, and J.J., R.Y, RENO, and TAYLOR!


Transcript

00:00:03.000 Hey, you fucking freaks.
00:00:05.000 This episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by Stamps.com.
00:00:10.000 Stamps.com, which is right now the only way Brian sells those kitty cat t-shirts that you see, those Death Squad shirts from DeathSquad.tv.
00:00:18.000 He actually uses Stamps.com, so we know it's a good product.
00:00:21.000 If you use the code word JRE, there's a little microphone in the upper right-hand corner, one of those old-schooly microphones.
00:00:28.000 For whatever reason, that's like the cool microphone.
00:00:30.000 I don't know why.
00:00:31.000 I never got that.
00:00:31.000 But regular microphones don't get nearly enough fucking credit.
00:00:34.000 There's something sexy about those old school Frank Sinatra in the 1930s back when people were dumb as fuck.
00:00:42.000 That was a really awesome microphone.
00:00:44.000 That's like a talk show mic.
00:00:46.000 Yeah, it's classy.
00:00:47.000 If you click on that and enter in the code word JRE, there's a special offer.
00:00:52.000 You get all kinds of cool shit like a free scale and $80 and $25 in postage coupons.
00:01:00.000 If you look at the website, go to stamps.com and then click on the thing and enter in the code word JRE. It'll fill you in on all the details about the offer.
00:01:11.000 The way it is, I have it says $110 bonus offer.
00:01:14.000 Why does it say $80?
00:01:15.000 Because normally, just a normal person that goes to stamps.com only gets that $80 offer.
00:01:19.000 But if you type in or you click on that microphone and type in JRE, you get an even better offer.
00:01:24.000 Then you get a $110 offer.
00:01:26.000 Yeah.
00:01:26.000 Okay.
00:01:26.000 I got confused.
00:01:27.000 I was like, did they lower it?
00:01:28.000 I hate when people lower it.
00:01:30.000 I don't want to call them out on it because they're our customers or their customers or something like that working together.
00:01:37.000 Yeah.
00:01:38.000 Anyway, if you go to stamps.com, what it allows you to do is you measure all your shit.
00:01:42.000 Like, say if you sell things, like, you know, send things online.
00:01:45.000 You measure all your shit at home.
00:01:47.000 You put your little sticker on it.
00:01:48.000 Boom.
00:01:49.000 Postman picks it up.
00:01:50.000 You don't have to go to the mailbox.
00:01:51.000 You don't have to weigh in line.
00:01:52.000 You don't have to weigh your shit.
00:01:54.000 You could do it all right there.
00:01:55.000 Print up your own postage and be done with that whole process.
00:01:59.000 Use the code word JRE and save yourself some money.
00:02:02.000 All right, you fucks.
00:02:03.000 We're also brought to you by Onnit.com.
00:02:05.000 That's O-N-N-I-T. If you haven't been to the website, we don't know what the fuck to call the company, so we call it a human performance enhancement company, if that makes any sense.
00:02:16.000 Human performance company.
00:02:18.000 The whole company is just focused on shit that makes your body work better, exercise equipment that's the best for functional strength.
00:02:26.000 Nutritional supplements that are best for recovery and for cognitive function and endurance and all that shit.
00:02:33.000 All of it is very healthy stuff.
00:02:35.000 It's like whatever we feel like we would buy, whatever we feel like we would use, what I think is beneficial as far as exercise equipment or vitamins or supplements.
00:02:45.000 That's the kind of stuff we sell.
00:02:46.000 We just try to sell you the best shit we can find.
00:02:49.000 And if you use the code name ROGAN, you save 10% off any and all supplements.
00:02:54.000 Any shows coming up?
00:02:55.000 Yeah, I'm going to be at, not Brea, but what's the other one?
00:03:00.000 Ontario?
00:03:00.000 No, no, Brea.
00:03:01.000 I'm going to be in Brea.
00:03:03.000 Not Brea, but what?
00:03:05.000 Yeah, it's Brea Improv?
00:03:06.000 Is that what you're doing?
00:03:07.000 Yeah, I'm going to be at Brea Improv and I'm going to Toronto next month and Comic-Con 2013. All the shit can be found at DeathSquad.tv or my Twitter is RedBan.
00:03:18.000 Yeah, and all my shit, all my upcoming dates are all on JoeRogan.net.
00:03:22.000 Alright, let's just bail on this.
00:03:25.000 Everlast is here, goddammit.
00:03:27.000 Commercial is now officially over.
00:04:03.000 I seen her at a stoplight in our ride-o.
00:04:08.000 Sittin' in a pearl white air ride-o.
00:04:13.000 In a gangsta lean, she was revving the throttle.
00:04:19.000 Got a sticker on the bumper, says she like Tejano.
00:04:23.000 She look like Selena.
00:04:26.000 The truth couldn't be plainer She like a gangster boogie Her poppy calls a cookie Her friends call her a sad girl Cause a man went away And he ain't never coming back, girl Cry another tattoo tear I seen her at the market,
00:04:55.000 she was pushing a stroller.
00:04:59.000 Smoking on a cigarette, drinking a soda.
00:05:05.000 Laughing at a joke that somebody just sold her.
00:05:10.000 Got a baby's name tattooed on the back of her shoulder.
00:05:14.000 She looked like an angel, yeah.
00:05:17.000 She talked like the devil.
00:05:19.000 She lived like a stranger.
00:05:22.000 She lived like a rebel.
00:05:26.000 She's a sad girl cause a man went away and he ain't never coming back, girl.
00:05:31.000 Cry another tattoo to you, yeah.
00:05:38.000 Sad girl living on the east side of the city.
00:05:44.000 Proud woman, boy, she don't want none of your pity.
00:05:49.000 Sad girl got no one to rely on.
00:05:55.000 Proud woman don't need your shoulder to cry on.
00:05:59.000 But she could use a little right now.
00:06:04.000 In the back of groceries.
00:06:34.000 We've seen her at the post office mailing a letter She sent her little money and she made him a sweater She's talking on a payphone and something upset her I really want to hold her,
00:06:53.000 but I only just met her.
00:06:55.000 But I could tell she'd been crying.
00:06:58.000 She said she felt like dying.
00:07:01.000 She never been so alone, no.
00:07:04.000 She got to make it all alone, no.
00:07:07.000 She's a sad girl, cause a man went away and he never coming back.
00:07:12.000 Girl, cry another tattoo to you, yeah.
00:07:20.000 Sad girl living on the east side of the city.
00:07:26.000 Proud woman, boy, she don't want none of your pity, no.
00:07:31.000 Sad girl got no one to rely on.
00:07:37.000 Proud woman don't need your shoulder to cry on.
00:07:41.000 She could use a little red now.
00:07:47.000 In the back of Bruce Willis.
00:07:53.000 She's a sad girl cause a man went away and he ain't never coming back.
00:08:02.000 Powerful Everlast.
00:08:06.000 Dude, so great to have you back man, that was awesome.
00:08:09.000 Thank you sir.
00:08:11.000 Mr. Brian Belasco joining me.
00:08:13.000 Brian, what's up?
00:08:14.000 Hi, how you doing?
00:08:15.000 Gentlemen, what's happening?
00:08:17.000 You know.
00:08:18.000 These are strange times.
00:08:19.000 It's good to have a man like Everlast around.
00:08:21.000 Trying to be, trying to be, trying to make it happen.
00:08:24.000 These are strange times, my friend.
00:08:25.000 Every day.
00:08:26.000 How you been?
00:08:27.000 Good.
00:08:28.000 Living, loving.
00:08:29.000 Yep.
00:08:31.000 Surrounded by crazy women.
00:08:33.000 That's how life...
00:08:34.000 You could say that, you've probably had a fun life.
00:08:37.000 I'm surrounded by completely insane women.
00:08:40.000 The ones that are not crazy are not fun to be around, unfortunately.
00:08:43.000 Just had a new one, you know, got a three-month-old at home.
00:08:46.000 Congratulations, man.
00:08:47.000 Thank you, yeah.
00:08:48.000 Everything's going good, man.
00:08:51.000 You know, I just turned around, bling my eyes.
00:08:54.000 Has it been a year?
00:08:55.000 It's probably been about a year.
00:08:56.000 Yeah.
00:08:57.000 I think so.
00:08:57.000 Somewhere around then.
00:08:58.000 Yeah.
00:08:58.000 Too long.
00:08:59.000 Too long.
00:09:00.000 Yeah, this is the first time at this place, too.
00:09:01.000 Made an acoustic record we're going to have, just because of y'all, really.
00:09:04.000 That's ridiculous.
00:09:05.000 When does that come out?
00:09:07.000 Like, August sometime.
00:09:08.000 I don't have the exact date, but y'all will have it.
00:09:10.000 You know what I mean?
00:09:10.000 So you started doing acoustic shows.
00:09:12.000 You know, I would do acoustic stuff, like walk in the radio station, promote your record.
00:09:17.000 Right.
00:09:17.000 You know what I mean?
00:09:17.000 And then, like...
00:09:19.000 Came and did your podcast the first time, didn't do any music.
00:09:22.000 I mean, people were still super loved, you know what I mean?
00:09:26.000 And then that second time when I came and did music the first time, I kind of busted the cherry of the Joe Rogan show in the musical world also.
00:09:34.000 You did, sir.
00:09:35.000 You know, like, the reaction was ridiculous, man.
00:09:37.000 I mean, we've been doing acoustic tours, like, you know what I mean?
00:09:40.000 Like, literally, like, we toured all of Europe in the winter and sold out a lot of shows.
00:09:46.000 There's a lot of Joe Rogan lovers out in Europe, too, man.
00:09:49.000 But, you know, man, there's something really cool about acoustic music.
00:09:52.000 There's something really cool about when you're doing a song and it's just you and your guitar and that's it, you know, or in a keyboard backup or whatever, when you're right there doing it live and raw like that, We're good to go.
00:10:24.000 A dude with a guitar with a voice like yours and a guy who's always writing, man.
00:10:29.000 That's what I dig about you.
00:10:31.000 You're always writing.
00:10:32.000 You've always got new shit.
00:10:33.000 You're always coming in here with new songs.
00:10:35.000 You're always working, man.
00:10:38.000 You're just always putting in the work when it comes to music.
00:10:41.000 You know, I mean, you make people laugh.
00:10:44.000 You go look for crazy shit.
00:10:46.000 You know what I mean?
00:10:46.000 It's something your soul tells you you got to do.
00:10:49.000 Making money at it is the bonus.
00:10:52.000 But there is the honest side of it that it's like, if I don't wake up and hustle something out of nothing, out of thin air, you know, then rent might not get paid in six months.
00:11:00.000 That's true, too.
00:11:00.000 And we've all seen people drop off.
00:11:02.000 It's scary.
00:11:03.000 Once you're moving, you got to keep moving.
00:11:05.000 You know, more money, more problems, you know?
00:11:06.000 You know, another thing is, I said something to Ari.
00:11:08.000 I want a whole lot of fucking problems.
00:11:10.000 I hear you, dude.
00:11:13.000 Yeah, anybody who doesn't want those problems, don't be silly.
00:11:16.000 They're better than the starving problems.
00:11:18.000 Right.
00:11:18.000 I was telling Ari Shafir that, you know, we were talking about, like, writing material.
00:11:22.000 And we just, in the middle of the conversation, I realized, I'm like, you know, if you're an Ari Shafir fan, you're the only one who could deliver it.
00:11:29.000 Like, it's your responsibility.
00:11:31.000 You have, like, thousands of Ari Shafir fans, but you're the only one who can deliver you.
00:11:36.000 Like, your particular style of comedy, what you look like, the way you speak, you're the only one.
00:11:42.000 This is it.
00:11:43.000 So for someone who's an Everlast fan, you're the only one.
00:11:47.000 There's no other Everlast out there.
00:11:49.000 You're the only guy who can produce Everlast material.
00:11:52.000 So that's like a giant responsibility.
00:11:55.000 And if you're a fan, you want to tap into a dude who's always creating new shit.
00:11:59.000 That way you know if you become a junkie.
00:12:01.000 Like if you're a Leonard Skinner junkie, fuck man.
00:12:05.000 That fucking plane crash was a long ass time ago.
00:12:08.000 But if you're an Everlast fan, you're always bagging out new shit, you know?
00:12:12.000 You know, we working.
00:12:14.000 Trying to be like you, man.
00:12:15.000 I don't even know what that means, but thanks.
00:12:18.000 I'm not even trying to be like me.
00:12:20.000 I'm just trying to make sense of the whole fucking thing.
00:12:23.000 Yes, sir.
00:12:24.000 Have you seen the thing that's going down right now in Turkey?
00:12:27.000 Do you know what's happening?
00:12:28.000 Oh, the riots?
00:12:29.000 Yeah, there's a rebellion, massive rebellion in Turkey.
00:12:32.000 I have not read much about it.
00:12:35.000 They're saying it's some sort of like an Occupy-style revolt, and I saw a photo of these people walking down the street, and it's insane.
00:12:44.000 It's like some end-of-the-world shit.
00:12:46.000 It's like, Brian, see if you can pull up the picture.
00:12:47.000 It's crazy, this picture, these people were walking down the street together.
00:12:52.000 I mean, it was overflowing with people.
00:12:55.000 It's like everyone was out there marching in protest.
00:12:58.000 It was like 100% of the people in the city.
00:13:00.000 And seeing them walking down the street, it's fucking craziness, man.
00:13:03.000 I don't exactly know what the fuck the story is, though.
00:13:06.000 It's kind of strange to me, too.
00:13:07.000 I mean, I don't know, maybe it's just my perception of things, but it seems like the less We are like that, like our country that used to be that kind of country, whenever people got into uproar, they'd protest.
00:13:18.000 I mean, it happens, but let's keep it real, it doesn't happen like it used to.
00:13:23.000 The more the rest of the world takes advantage of their freedom, like, the less we actually use ours at all.
00:13:29.000 Well, I think we're just so soft.
00:13:31.000 It's so safe here.
00:13:32.000 Well, when you can buy, like, you know, powdered donuts at 3.30 a.m., you know, at the Ralph's every other block, life gets easy.
00:13:40.000 That's not good for you, for things to be that easy.
00:13:43.000 No.
00:13:43.000 That's why, like, an easy job is probably one of the worst things you should ever...
00:13:46.000 You know, you don't want an easy job.
00:13:48.000 You don't want something that you can just half-brain it.
00:13:51.000 You will slowly rot away while these kids in Turkey are throwing Molotov cocktails at the cops and trying to take over the government.
00:13:58.000 But it's always going to be that, right?
00:14:01.000 Are we wishing good luck to them or not?
00:14:03.000 I don't know what exactly it's about.
00:14:05.000 I'm going to go with yes, just because I'm a rebel.
00:14:08.000 I'm down with that.
00:14:09.000 Brian, are you a rebel?
00:14:11.000 I'm going to go with yes, awesome.
00:14:12.000 Yeah, we're down with the young kids.
00:14:13.000 Well, you have a bomb on your hat, so...
00:14:16.000 By the way, being on the airplane with this hat was really uncomfortable.
00:14:19.000 I forgot that I had it on.
00:14:21.000 And it was just like right after the Boston bombings, too.
00:14:25.000 And I was like, why am I wearing this hat?
00:14:26.000 Good taste.
00:14:27.000 Good choice.
00:14:28.000 I know.
00:14:29.000 Did you have the camo jacket to go with it?
00:14:32.000 No.
00:14:33.000 Like the Duck Dynasty hunting jacket?
00:14:37.000 No.
00:14:38.000 With an empty scabbard.
00:14:41.000 Yeah, I checked my sword.
00:14:43.000 Jesus.
00:14:43.000 What about those fucking guys that just hacked a dude up in...
00:14:46.000 Oh, yeah, in England.
00:14:48.000 That, to me, was like, what the fuck is wrong with the world, man?
00:14:51.000 It's really crazy.
00:14:52.000 Have you seen the video of the guy talking to the camera?
00:14:55.000 I didn't hear the talking, but I saw the image, but I didn't hear any of that.
00:14:59.000 I didn't hear, like, the rant or anything.
00:15:01.000 Yeah, I don't know what happened, man, but apparently it's something to do with religion.
00:15:05.000 Yeah, I'm kind of, you know, distant from religion.
00:15:08.000 I used to experiment in all kinds of them.
00:15:10.000 I don't reject any.
00:15:11.000 You were a Muslim for a while.
00:15:12.000 Well, I am.
00:15:13.000 I mean, I don't, you know, I don't practice because I just don't believe in organized religion at this point.
00:15:19.000 I do believe in God and I believe in a single creator and all that.
00:15:22.000 Do you?
00:15:23.000 But there's a lot of stories.
00:15:24.000 I don't believe in magic.
00:15:25.000 Right.
00:15:25.000 You know what I mean?
00:15:26.000 Well, you know when I think about religion, you know, when I was a young man, I was forced into Catholic school.
00:15:30.000 And I don't believe in killing motherfuckers because my shit is right and yours is wrong.
00:15:34.000 You know what I mean?
00:15:35.000 Right.
00:15:35.000 Unless it's you're breaking into my house trying to steal my shit.
00:15:38.000 Right.
00:15:39.000 Then you're fair game.
00:15:41.000 Well, when I was a kid, I was forced to go to Catholic school.
00:15:43.000 And I hated religion for a long time after that.
00:15:45.000 I just thought it was ridiculous.
00:15:46.000 The nuns were cunts.
00:15:48.000 It was a mess.
00:15:48.000 It was just horrible.
00:15:49.000 I was raised Catholic.
00:15:50.000 Were you?
00:15:50.000 I got a story too.
00:15:51.000 Did you go to Catholic school?
00:15:52.000 Yeah.
00:15:56.000 For the longest time after that, I thought that religion was horseshit.
00:15:59.000 I thought, there's nothing in this.
00:16:01.000 But then as I got older, I realized that it's just because I had a terrible experience with it.
00:16:05.000 And if you look at a lot of the principles of religion, you've got to decipher the fact that people have been around for so long just telling stories.
00:16:11.000 And by the time it gets written on paper, people try to twist things the way that they would like it to be when it comes to translations and things like that, and it goes in different languages.
00:16:20.000 But the core of it all is people trying to figure out how to get along.
00:16:24.000 To connect.
00:16:25.000 Yeah, people trying to figure out how to express love.
00:16:27.000 People trying to figure out how to treat one as you would like to be treated.
00:16:32.000 The tenets for life that people figured out before they really knew much of anything about how the world works.
00:16:38.000 They had these ideas and they said they came from God.
00:16:41.000 You know, and whether or not anybody had a one-on-one experience with God, I don't know.
00:16:45.000 I mean, shit, who the fuck knows?
00:16:47.000 Just the fact that the earth exists at all is pretty fucking crazy as far as I'm concerned.
00:16:51.000 It's nuts, but I mean, I compare it to this.
00:16:53.000 It's like, I don't say I know anything about a God.
00:16:56.000 I have a sense that there's a higher power.
00:16:57.000 I have a sense of it.
00:16:58.000 You know, I feel like I do.
00:16:59.000 It's empowering to you.
00:17:00.000 I feel like there's something there, but can I understand it or explain it or define it?
00:17:05.000 Nah, man, because, you know, I always say, you know, somebody once told me that's like your shoe defining you.
00:17:09.000 Right.
00:17:10.000 You know, there's got to be a line between whatever a creator is and what a creation.
00:17:13.000 I don't even assume it human characteristics anymore.
00:17:17.000 Right.
00:17:17.000 I just take it as like, you know, kind of like whatever energy I'm following.
00:17:20.000 I never went to school for music.
00:17:23.000 I never planned to do any of this shit with my life.
00:17:26.000 And I don't say go around.
00:17:27.000 I'm not preaching or anything.
00:17:28.000 But I'm saying all I did was follow a certain path and energy.
00:17:32.000 And it led me through every religion.
00:17:34.000 It led me through every religion.
00:17:36.000 And by the time I got to Islam...
00:17:38.000 I took it into my life, and it's primarily about peace and love.
00:17:43.000 And then there's all this other subcultural, crazy stuff that goes on in these other places.
00:17:48.000 I approached it from a Western mind and a Western philosophy of, like, just this is a philosophy to deal with.
00:17:54.000 It's not like my clan didn't get murdered by that guy's Emam 14,000 or 1,400 years ago.
00:18:00.000 You know, there's all this sub stuff that goes on between these.
00:18:03.000 Sufis and Sunnis.
00:18:04.000 And that's when I was like, you know what?
00:18:06.000 Organized religion as a whole is garbage.
00:18:08.000 Because the minute there's organization to it, somebody's in charge and then there's power struggle.
00:18:13.000 Yeah.
00:18:13.000 It's an individual thing.
00:18:15.000 Religion should be mine.
00:18:17.000 It's not even up for discussion.
00:18:20.000 Unless we're going to sit there and be like...
00:18:22.000 If I sat down with you, I know we could sit down and have a cool conversation.
00:18:28.000 But there's also...
00:18:30.000 100,000 people that listen to this or millions of people that listen to this and, you know, you can't have a reasonable argument with every single one of them.
00:18:38.000 Right.
00:18:38.000 You know what I mean?
00:18:39.000 Well, I think that the idea of the organization, like, when you put something into a giant organization and you set rules up, all of a sudden things get weird.
00:18:47.000 You know, that's when people get into power and the influence gets manipulated and, you know...
00:18:52.000 Like, I tell people all the time, you consider me Muslim, but I'll go out tonight with you and we'll drink three whiskeys.
00:18:56.000 I don't care.
00:18:57.000 Will you eat bacon?
00:18:58.000 What?
00:18:58.000 Will you eat better?
00:18:59.000 I'll eat pepperoni, yes.
00:19:01.000 Pepperoni?
00:19:02.000 That's your pork of choice?
00:19:03.000 My wife, the half-Jewish lady, reintroduced pepperonis into the life.
00:19:09.000 I made a moderation recently to the lyric was, I'll never eat a pig unless a pig is a cop.
00:19:15.000 So it kind of just...
00:19:16.000 It leaves a little open door.
00:19:19.000 I was in Seattle and some lady came to the show and gave me venison pepperoni that she had made with venison.
00:19:26.000 Her husband was a deer hunter.
00:19:28.000 God damn, it was good.
00:19:30.000 There was so much of it.
00:19:31.000 I ate it all.
00:19:31.000 Yeah, I always see you throwing shit on the grill on Instagram and just haven't got that call ever.
00:19:35.000 Like, come on over and have some of this venison steak with the brothers.
00:19:40.000 It's usually me in my underwear at 2 o'clock in the morning and just being out there with nature.
00:19:43.000 That's my, you know?
00:19:44.000 Might inspire me to get rid of my spare tire, man.
00:19:47.000 You know what I mean?
00:19:48.000 I posted a picture recently of me and Willie Nelson.
00:19:52.000 I was like, man.
00:19:53.000 And I looked at it afterwards and I was like, man, I look so young and thin.
00:19:56.000 Man, I got to drop like 20 pounds.
00:19:58.000 I put even hashtagged it on there.
00:19:59.000 I got to drop like 20 pounds.
00:20:01.000 I meant to ask you this.
00:20:03.000 You have this artificial valve in your heart.
00:20:05.000 Yeah.
00:20:05.000 Does that prevent you from doing any kind of exercise?
00:20:07.000 Well, recently, Joe, my engineer guy, one of my entourage, he's got hard into P90X. And he was doing P90X in the morning and Insanity at night.
00:20:19.000 And that guy right there.
00:20:20.000 Damn.
00:20:21.000 So he got me kind of pumped up.
00:20:22.000 I went for P90X. It lasted about one day.
00:20:26.000 Yeah.
00:20:26.000 And then I went to my doctor because it discouraged me.
00:20:28.000 I was like, yo, I got to find a dude who, like, I'm interested in your guy who's coming in here in a couple of days, the fitness dude.
00:20:35.000 I need to find a dude who knows how to build my heart back up to that level of output.
00:20:41.000 Because right now it's not there.
00:20:43.000 Yeah.
00:20:44.000 And I can't just get on a treadmill.
00:20:45.000 It's boring.
00:20:46.000 I'd rather play basketball.
00:20:48.000 I need somebody who's going to make it fun, make it interesting, and then also keep me from eating fucking Lorna Dunes at like 2.30.
00:20:54.000 Does the valve function like normal?
00:20:57.000 According to my doctor, except for like 20-25 pounds that he don't like, I'm healthy as an ox right now.
00:21:03.000 Oh, okay.
00:21:04.000 So you could do anything.
00:21:05.000 If I got there.
00:21:06.000 You know what you should do, man?
00:21:07.000 You should take martial arts.
00:21:08.000 Take a martial art.
00:21:09.000 I was doing jujitsu and stuff, and then it's like I kind of put this weight on.
00:21:12.000 I won't blame my daughters.
00:21:14.000 It's like a lot of her life is like us pumping calories into her.
00:21:18.000 Like keeping weight on cystic fibrosis youngsters is important for their lung development.
00:21:22.000 So like everything in our house is extra fat.
00:21:25.000 And for a long time I just...
00:21:26.000 And hey, I mean, I won't lie.
00:21:27.000 You go through depressions and...
00:21:29.000 You know, your food is an outlet.
00:21:31.000 I snack a little too much sometimes.
00:21:33.000 Food is yummy.
00:21:34.000 It's delicious.
00:21:35.000 I love food.
00:21:36.000 That's the problem.
00:21:36.000 It's so good.
00:21:37.000 But, you know, so, you know, I just wound up putting on, what was the question there?
00:21:43.000 When I went into my, say I go to my daughter and it's a whole different thing.
00:21:45.000 Yeah, we were just talking about martial arts.
00:21:47.000 Oh yeah, I was doing jiu-jitsu.
00:21:48.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:21:49.000 And then after I put this weight on, I tried to go back and it's like with a spare tire trying to do hip, you know, throw your hip.
00:21:55.000 Hip escapes.
00:21:55.000 Yeah, man.
00:21:56.000 I was like, now I got to do that.
00:21:59.000 I got to drop some pounds to get back just so I can drop some pounds.
00:22:02.000 You know what you used to do?
00:22:03.000 It's just treated as like, I mean, you should probably get in shape before you do it, but you could treat it as some sort of a mental exercise.
00:22:10.000 Just put yourself through some torment.
00:22:12.000 If I make that move I was telling you about, You know, I'll probably, you know, I'll be able to hit the Runyon Canyon run and walks and stuff like that.
00:22:18.000 That's always fun.
00:22:18.000 I like that walk because getting up to the top is a reward.
00:22:21.000 Yeah, it's huge.
00:22:22.000 I actually used to pull up and start at the top and walk down because then you got to come back up to get your car, you know what I mean?
00:22:28.000 Caffeine and Jack Daniels also helps with weight loss, I've noticed.
00:22:30.000 Is that right?
00:22:31.000 If you throw up a lot?
00:22:32.000 Cocaine is amazing.
00:22:33.000 Jack Daniels is terrible for weight loss.
00:22:35.000 That's horrible.
00:22:36.000 That's just sugar.
00:22:37.000 Yeah, it is.
00:22:38.000 Unfortunately, I know that because I drink whiskey, so.
00:22:41.000 It turns right into sugar.
00:22:42.000 How weird.
00:22:43.000 It tastes like shit.
00:22:44.000 See, I can't get that up.
00:22:45.000 I need the guy who's going to show me how I can work around a few things.
00:22:48.000 I think that it's all about moderation.
00:22:51.000 I don't think you have to give up the whiskey.
00:22:52.000 I think if you want to stay healthy...
00:22:53.000 Another thing is, yo, I stay steady.
00:22:55.000 I don't pass a certain point.
00:22:57.000 I hit like 260, and it's like, oh, that's the...
00:23:00.000 That's it.
00:23:01.000 That's too big.
00:23:01.000 Then you get mad.
00:23:02.000 Then I get mad.
00:23:03.000 And I don't go to like 290 or 300. I did once, I think, like 290 way back.
00:23:08.000 Like...
00:23:09.000 But a lot of it, too, is like we were talking about thyroid earlier.
00:23:12.000 After my surgery, I have to take a thyroid pill to keep my metabolism just kind of went...
00:23:18.000 When all the surgery and stuff happened, my body just kind of said, we're going to slow life down.
00:23:23.000 Yeah, I would imagine a heart surgery is a serious thing.
00:23:25.000 So I just need to find out how I can build back up.
00:23:27.000 I don't even need to do P90X full blast like that.
00:23:31.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:23:32.000 P90X is good because it makes you do it.
00:23:34.000 It seems like it's too much, then do as much as you can and then stop.
00:23:40.000 But it makes you do it.
00:23:41.000 I gotta find the dude that's gonna take money to help me do it, man.
00:23:45.000 I'm sure you can find a dude.
00:23:46.000 I need the guy that's gonna show up at my door and be like, yo...
00:23:49.000 Get out of bed, pussy.
00:23:52.000 You want someone to be your will.
00:23:54.000 No, not bad like that.
00:23:55.000 Someone to be your willpower.
00:23:56.000 Then we'll be fighting.
00:23:58.000 And he's probably going to be in much better shape than me, so I'm going to have to break out a bat.
00:24:02.000 And it's like an assault charge, and I got to buy him a car when I should have just got in shape.
00:24:06.000 Get Richard Simmons, man, and smoke a bunch of weed and have Richard Simmons help you out.
00:24:10.000 That sounds like the best thing ever.
00:24:11.000 You won't feel threatened by him.
00:24:13.000 He'll make your heart grow because he's so heartwarming.
00:24:15.000 I think you just created the greatest reality show ever.
00:24:18.000 Wow.
00:24:19.000 I think that's the greatest reality show ever.
00:24:21.000 I might even say yeah to that.
00:24:26.000 If that's all it was about was just that, I might even say that.
00:24:29.000 I don't think he would ever bust a move.
00:24:31.000 Come on.
00:24:32.000 Time's gone.
00:24:33.000 Maybe when he was younger, maybe he would have felt it and felt confident and just give you a gentle pat of the ass.
00:24:39.000 Every Saturday he does a class in LA that you could actually sign up for, so I'm sure he's up for it.
00:24:43.000 I'll go grab me some dolphin shorts, man.
00:24:45.000 That's right.
00:24:45.000 Get in there, son.
00:24:46.000 Don't be scared to tease.
00:24:48.000 Don't be scared to give them a little tease.
00:24:51.000 I just like Coke and sushi.
00:24:54.000 And I mean Coca-Cola, by the way.
00:24:57.000 I know.
00:24:58.000 I like steak and cheese subs.
00:24:59.000 Yeah, I love steak.
00:25:00.000 Oh, steak and cheese subs are so good.
00:25:02.000 Steak and cheese sub with a good Italian roll.
00:25:05.000 Oh, sweet Jesus.
00:25:06.000 I know it's bad for you.
00:25:07.000 Where are you getting that from, by the way?
00:25:08.000 Well, all sorts of different places.
00:25:10.000 Okay, you're going to have to hook me up with that.
00:25:10.000 You ever go to Cavarretta's?
00:25:11.000 You want to get some serious Italian food that you really should never be eating?
00:25:17.000 Cavarretta's in, I guess it's in Canoga Park.
00:25:19.000 It's an old school Italian telly.
00:25:21.000 It sounds familiar, man.
00:25:22.000 God damn, dude, they got a sausage and pepper sub.
00:25:25.000 It's, um...
00:25:26.000 I don't remember.
00:25:29.000 I wish I could remember.
00:25:30.000 I know how to get there, but it's one of those things where you take a left on there and go right on there and I'm...
00:25:35.000 Cabaretta's.
00:25:35.000 Google it, people.
00:25:37.000 I'll be there.
00:25:38.000 Does the news of Michael Douglas throat cancer affect your pussy eating at all?
00:25:42.000 It's a little shocking.
00:25:43.000 Yeah.
00:25:43.000 A little shocking.
00:25:44.000 You know, I mean...
00:25:46.000 Is this new news?
00:25:46.000 Because I can swear I heard it a long time ago.
00:25:48.000 Like he first blamed it all on that kind of...
00:25:50.000 Or he suspected it.
00:25:51.000 Maybe, maybe, but I heard about it just yesterday.
00:25:54.000 It was the first time I heard about it.
00:25:54.000 Yeah, I just heard it yesterday.
00:25:55.000 People were talking about it a while ago, like, on something.
00:26:00.000 Maybe, maybe it's just the, maybe the media, you know, is picking up on it the second run around, you know.
00:26:06.000 Maybe he talked about it before, but it's a recent thing because a lot of people think that apparently that it was like cigarettes or alcohol.
00:26:14.000 Yeah, no, he thinks he had HPV in his throat, right?
00:26:17.000 Brian, don't do that.
00:26:18.000 That's just rude.
00:26:19.000 What was that?
00:26:20.000 Put a photoshop up of him.
00:26:21.000 His face all photoshopped.
00:26:23.000 Michael Douglas.
00:26:24.000 Pussy words on his face.
00:26:25.000 That's just rude.
00:26:26.000 Is that Ari's butt?
00:26:27.000 Yes.
00:26:28.000 No?
00:26:29.000 That's the chief clam.
00:26:30.000 Yeah, that's...
00:26:31.000 You know, it's kind of fucked up that sex can give you diseases.
00:26:35.000 Like, what a stupid, shitty little fucking trick by nature that sex, eating pussy, can give you some horrible throat cancer.
00:26:43.000 How rude.
00:26:44.000 And what sucks is most chicks, isn't like HPV something like most girls have or most guys have?
00:26:50.000 I think a huge percentage of the population has it apparently.
00:26:52.000 And they can just recently, they can give you a vaccination for it.
00:26:57.000 But the vaccinations apparently are a little scary.
00:27:01.000 Aren't they just, they're for the girls, right?
00:27:03.000 Young girls get them.
00:27:03.000 What's the vaccination?
00:27:04.000 There was somewhere where there was a controversy where they were trying to make the girls, like somebody was trying to make girls get them, like, or make it mandatory.
00:27:12.000 Wow, that's crazy.
00:27:13.000 Well, you know, they give you, when inoculations, vaccinations for a kid, one of them they give you is Hepatitis B, which is, I think, mostly that's sexually transmittable.
00:27:22.000 Wow.
00:27:23.000 And they're giving it to kids.
00:27:25.000 It's like, how many people get hepatitis B? It's like a lot of them are from sex.
00:27:30.000 Maybe it's something that the kid needs to worry about eventually, but when it's a baby, are we sure that hepatitis...
00:27:36.000 I just remember being told when I was young, sex without love was unhealthy.
00:27:39.000 Really?
00:27:40.000 Who told you that?
00:27:41.000 Crazy asshole.
00:27:42.000 Doesn't want to have fun.
00:27:43.000 I can't remember.
00:27:44.000 Some crazy fuck who doesn't want to have a good time.
00:27:46.000 I'm pretty sure it's probably my mother.
00:27:47.000 Oh, silly mom.
00:27:48.000 It can be both.
00:27:50.000 It can be both.
00:27:50.000 Sex with love is best, but sex without love is pretty fucking good.
00:27:55.000 Sex, there's nothing wrong with it, people.
00:27:57.000 Everybody needs to relax.
00:28:00.000 The connection, there's a connection there.
00:28:01.000 Yeah.
00:28:02.000 If you love somebody, you probably care enough more about them to find out whether or not they have HPV. Right.
00:28:08.000 But at certain numbers, it's like...
00:28:11.000 Usually the sex without the love is more in a rushed state.
00:28:14.000 Let's just go.
00:28:15.000 Come on.
00:28:16.000 I don't care.
00:28:17.000 They don't speak English.
00:28:18.000 Do you remember when everybody was worried about AIDS? Yeah, I do.
00:28:22.000 You know what?
00:28:23.000 I was just saying something about it the other day.
00:28:24.000 It's weird.
00:28:26.000 Nobody worries about it.
00:28:27.000 I was telling something.
00:28:28.000 Oh, Joe, wasn't I just telling you the other day?
00:28:30.000 Like in the 90s, that five days when you had to wait.
00:28:32.000 Even if you knew you were cool, you were like, that five days we had to wait for the test to come back.
00:28:38.000 You were still like, what if?
00:28:40.000 Oh, hold on, or this, you know.
00:28:42.000 Dude, that's no joke.
00:28:44.000 Now it's like, not even, it's kind of, I don't even care.
00:28:47.000 Nobody even thinks about it.
00:28:47.000 I remember, I was in my car, and I was driving to the gym, and I was listening to the radio, and they, I remember the fucking, the street I was turning on, when they said, Magic Johnson just announced that he's HIV positive.
00:28:58.000 I was like, this is the, I was thinking this shit was the zombie apocalypse.
00:29:02.000 I was like, him going on the radio and saying he's HIV positive, oh my god, Magic Johnson, one of the greatest basketball players of all time.
00:29:10.000 We're all gonna die of AIDS. I'm saying, he's got AIDS? I was like, he's got AIDS? Holy shit, it's coming, man.
00:29:15.000 I just anticipated a wave of AIDS that never arrived.
00:29:19.000 AIDS mosquitoes.
00:29:20.000 Strange.
00:29:21.000 Strange, strange, strange.
00:29:23.000 I remember when Eazy-E died of AIDS, and that was like, because that one, nobody even knew about it until he was dead.
00:29:29.000 It's crazy.
00:29:30.000 Yeah, and these people that are dying of AIDS in Africa, that's a really fascinating thing as well because apparently – someone please tweet me and correct me if this is incorrect.
00:29:41.000 But what I was told was that a lot of what they – when they release figures like X amount of people have AIDS – That doesn't mean X amount of people are even HIV positive.
00:29:51.000 That means that they have the symptoms of AIDS. It means their immune system is fucked.
00:29:54.000 So they see these people and whether it's from poor nutrition or a host of various diseases, they don't necessarily test every one of these people because it's expensive to do that.
00:30:03.000 So apparently when you hear X amount of people have AIDS, That's a little on the rough side.
00:30:09.000 It's a little bit of a rough estimate.
00:30:10.000 Well, you know, it's just people are fucked.
00:30:13.000 It's a shit spot to be.
00:30:14.000 There's a lot wrong with being there.
00:30:16.000 There's a lot of fucking diseases.
00:30:18.000 It's not just, you know, HIV. Like, goddamn Africa's got a host of fucking diseases, especially when you're poor and you're not eating anything.
00:30:25.000 And then, like, I remember seeing something on a show once about, like, there was some certain tribe or...
00:30:31.000 Area of Africa where they believed the cure for AIDS was to fuck a virgin.
00:30:36.000 Yes!
00:30:37.000 Which is like, wow!
00:30:41.000 How do you even come up with that?
00:30:43.000 Africa still rocks some really crazy ways of life.
00:30:47.000 It gives you insight into the way the world was just a thousand years ago or two thousand years ago.
00:30:51.000 Like witchcraft is huge in Africa.
00:30:54.000 Witchcraft and burning people because they're witches and accusing people of witches and people doing things to help cure you of demonic possession.
00:31:04.000 There's like a big business in it where they like cure children of demonic possession and they take them from their parents and require their parents come up with thousands and thousands of dollars to give to them.
00:31:15.000 So the parents go fucking crazy and do anything they can to get the money to get their children back because this guy is claiming that this child is possessed by the devil.
00:31:22.000 So if he doesn't do this exorcism, they'll kill this kid.
00:31:27.000 It's a normal, common thing in Africa.
00:31:30.000 I think I remember seeing something about that.
00:31:32.000 It's fucking crazy!
00:31:33.000 And there's a ton of them and they're all running this racket, scaring the fuck out of everybody, killing people.
00:31:39.000 It's a nutty place to live.
00:31:43.000 And it's 2013, man.
00:31:45.000 Just like, you know, we're sitting here chilling in the valley, having ourselves a good old time, drinking coffee, kicking back, playing music.
00:31:52.000 There's a dude out there who's like burning people because he says they're a witch.
00:31:56.000 You know, that's all going on somewhere.
00:31:57.000 Yeah, that's nutty.
00:31:59.000 It's nutty as fuck.
00:32:00.000 I'm moving there.
00:32:01.000 Don't go to Africa.
00:32:02.000 Don't do it.
00:32:03.000 People tried.
00:32:04.000 There was a bunch of Europeans.
00:32:06.000 We're going to start a wildlife preserve.
00:32:09.000 I think it's going to preserve itself just fine.
00:32:11.000 I don't know if you really need to preserve it.
00:32:14.000 We need to stop people from killing them.
00:32:15.000 People are always killing them for like hard-on pills, you know?
00:32:18.000 It's always Chinese people that think that you can get some rhino horn, grind it up and your dick grows.
00:32:23.000 Or some tiger penis.
00:32:24.000 Yeah, it's ridiculous.
00:32:27.000 There's some other benefits for rhino horn or other uses that they use, but that's what they're killing these rhinos for.
00:32:32.000 They're like wiping out the rhino population because people in Asia have this thing for rhino horns.
00:32:39.000 It would kind of suck if there was no more rhinos.
00:32:41.000 I mean, rhinos are kind of badass.
00:32:42.000 The fact that that thing actually exists...
00:32:44.000 But hers has got to be thin at this point, though.
00:32:46.000 Must be very thin.
00:32:47.000 I think some of them are actually extinct now.
00:32:49.000 Because these dudes just won't stop hunting them.
00:32:50.000 They don't give a fuck.
00:32:51.000 It's just...
00:32:52.000 This is...
00:32:52.000 They live wild.
00:32:54.000 That's a wild place.
00:32:56.000 We're so soft.
00:32:57.000 On that same thing, I love gator hunters, man.
00:33:00.000 I love all the shows about...
00:33:00.000 You watch that swamp people?
00:33:01.000 Swamp people, dude.
00:33:02.000 It's the best.
00:33:03.000 I love that shit.
00:33:03.000 It's awesome.
00:33:04.000 I want to go.
00:33:05.000 Yeah.
00:33:05.000 But that's different.
00:33:06.000 I want to go with some pros.
00:33:07.000 I don't want to go and just try and hunt a gator.
00:33:08.000 I want to go with one of them teams and like...
00:33:11.000 Even being a boat has got to be an adrenaline rush.
00:33:14.000 Pulling a 12-foot gator on a boat?
00:33:16.000 Fuck yeah!
00:33:18.000 Those dudes got to be strong as fucking oxes.
00:33:21.000 That one family, the son and the dad, they're all yoke dudes with that crazy accent.
00:33:26.000 The dad's got a rat tail.
00:33:27.000 That dude's supposedly like the world champion arm wrestler in his weight class.
00:33:32.000 I believe it.
00:33:33.000 I bet that guy's strong as fuck.
00:33:34.000 His son supposedly fights a little MMA. Yeah, they're throwing dinosaurs around all day.
00:33:38.000 I mean, they're literally picking up dinosaurs and shooting them in the head.
00:33:41.000 In the original season of Swan People, there was a dude that would go out and live catch them.
00:33:47.000 For like, scientists wanted to get them.
00:33:49.000 You know, the medium-sized ones.
00:33:50.000 But still, he would grab them out in the water by their necks and he would be like...
00:33:55.000 Wow.
00:33:55.000 Crazy.
00:33:56.000 Love that shit.
00:33:57.000 How do you get good at that?
00:33:58.000 Those are the people that are going to be around when it all goes bad still.
00:34:01.000 You know that, right?
00:34:02.000 Well, if you want to go to Louisiana, you could be around too.
00:34:04.000 They're everywhere.
00:34:05.000 You can't kill the alligators enough.
00:34:08.000 You have to really go on an assault.
00:34:10.000 Those guys are pulling 500 out of season.
00:34:12.000 They still got alligators all over the place.
00:34:15.000 Crossing highways and shit.
00:34:17.000 They're disgusting.
00:34:18.000 It must be rough having a dog around there.
00:34:20.000 Fuck yeah, it is.
00:34:21.000 When I lived in Florida, a dog got stolen from some old lady.
00:34:24.000 Stolen?
00:34:25.000 Alligator just reached out of the water and stole that doggy.
00:34:29.000 That alligator had every right to that in his mind.
00:34:32.000 That's not stolen.
00:34:33.000 That's the rules of the world.
00:34:34.000 That's slipping.
00:34:34.000 That dog was slipping.
00:34:36.000 Not only was the dog slipping, it was tied to a chain.
00:34:38.000 There was an old lady who can't run on the other end of it.
00:34:40.000 Then that's just dinner.
00:34:41.000 Yeah.
00:34:42.000 In Florida?
00:34:43.000 What if the alligator recognized that the old lady couldn't run?
00:34:46.000 I wonder.
00:34:47.000 Because it just came out of the water.
00:34:48.000 It's like, yep, I'll take that.
00:34:50.000 Snack.
00:34:51.000 Snack.
00:34:52.000 She's lucky it took the dog.
00:34:54.000 She's very lucky.
00:34:55.000 But they're weird.
00:34:56.000 They very rarely attack people.
00:34:58.000 Although there was a story recently where a guy was running from the cops.
00:35:01.000 He was in Miami and he hit the brakes and jumped off an overpass into the water right where an alligator was.
00:35:07.000 So literally as he jumped into the water, the alligator attacked him.
00:35:11.000 And killed him right in front of the cops.
00:35:14.000 Probably.
00:35:14.000 Yeah, I mean, a guy jumps off a fucking bridge and lands on you.
00:35:17.000 The alligator just fucked him up.
00:35:19.000 The cops said it was like a scene in a movie.
00:35:21.000 It's like the guy literally locks up his brakes, jumps into the water, and then it's, ah!
00:35:27.000 Alligators are just ripping him apart.
00:35:28.000 But other than that, it's pretty rare that they get people.
00:35:32.000 Crazy.
00:35:32.000 Crocodiles are what we've got to worry about.
00:35:34.000 They found Nile crocodiles in the Everglades now.
00:35:38.000 Yeah, that's scary.
00:35:39.000 So they issued a kill-on-sight order for these Nile crocodiles.
00:35:43.000 As far as they know, they don't have a breeding population, but they've definitely been spotted in the Everglades, which is a fucking real problem.
00:35:50.000 Assholes!
00:35:51.000 Florida!
00:35:52.000 Florida, the fucking cock of the country.
00:35:54.000 That place is crazy, filled with nutty white people who are on bath salts and they're fucking throwing snakes out their car window while they're driving down the street.
00:36:02.000 They're assholes.
00:36:04.000 Florida is filled with the redneckiest redneck assholes on the planet.
00:36:09.000 It's a lot of fun down there, though.
00:36:11.000 It's on another level from the Deep South.
00:36:14.000 You know, it's like the Deep South.
00:36:16.000 That's like the Mexico of the Deep South.
00:36:18.000 That's what Florida's like.
00:36:19.000 Because it's like you go below the Deep...
00:36:21.000 The Deep South's all classy and shit.
00:36:23.000 You can go to Tennessee and be a gentleman, have a bourbon and...
00:36:26.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:36:26.000 But you get down to Florida and shit gets crazy.
00:36:29.000 Why?
00:36:30.000 Because it's Mexico of the South.
00:36:32.000 That's what it is.
00:36:33.000 It's like, man, it's barely America.
00:36:35.000 When you're in Florida, you go to do gigs in Miami, dude, you are barely in America.
00:36:40.000 And I say that in a good way.
00:36:41.000 Like, it is a beautiful energy.
00:36:44.000 Like, they're fun fucking people, man.
00:36:46.000 I think Florida's a blast.
00:36:46.000 It's one of the best places to go if you want to just go and unwind and have a good time.
00:36:51.000 I love watching all those, you know, cocaine cowboys documentaries about how, like, basically Miami is just built.
00:36:56.000 Yes.
00:36:57.000 Built out of cocaine.
00:36:58.000 Built out of it.
00:36:59.000 For real.
00:37:00.000 Cocaine and murder.
00:37:01.000 I mean, literally built.
00:37:02.000 That's, like, literally built the city.
00:37:05.000 Yeah, that dude, Billy Corbin, I met him in Florida.
00:37:08.000 He's a bad motherfucker.
00:37:10.000 Those documentaries are goddamn good.
00:37:13.000 Cocaine Cowboys 1 and 2. Yeah, Giselda, is that her name?
00:37:16.000 Giselda Blanco?
00:37:18.000 Griselda.
00:37:19.000 Griselda.
00:37:19.000 Woo, she was scary.
00:37:20.000 Did you ever see the second Cocaine Cowboys where the dude was seducing the godmother from jail?
00:37:26.000 The dude was banging her and was like making it happen.
00:37:30.000 The Oakland guy was like running shit on her.
00:37:31.000 Making hundreds of millies, man.
00:37:33.000 That's hilarious.
00:37:34.000 He was just, he stroked her.
00:37:35.000 Go there, get his little stick wet every time he got to jail.
00:37:39.000 And then, how about the fact she got out?
00:37:42.000 That's pretty Viagra, dude.
00:37:43.000 You gotta get that dude some salute, man.
00:37:46.000 For him?
00:37:46.000 Yeah.
00:37:47.000 Fuck yeah, man.
00:37:48.000 That's free pills.
00:37:49.000 You couldn't take a pill and just go in.
00:37:51.000 He had to get that shit up for Griselda.
00:37:53.000 Yeah.
00:37:54.000 That is a strong move.
00:37:55.000 Are we sure that it was before there was Viagra?
00:37:57.000 When was Viagra?
00:37:58.000 This was like in the 80s, man.
00:38:00.000 Was it?
00:38:00.000 Was it the 80s?
00:38:02.000 I'm pretty sure this was in the 80s, early 90s at the most.
00:38:05.000 When did they invent Viagra?
00:38:08.000 I don't know.
00:38:09.000 It was November 11, 2015. Shrine at his home to Viagra.
00:38:14.000 It was a good afternoon.
00:38:15.000 The weather was a calm 78 degrees.
00:38:18.000 Those commercials are always so lame.
00:38:20.000 It's always like a couple with gray hair and they're holding hands and they look at each other and they come close and they cuddle.
00:38:27.000 It's never a dude with a maniacal look on his face and a boner that's five hours old will not die.
00:38:33.000 And he's sweating and his heart is fucking leaping out of his chest.
00:38:38.000 It's never that.
00:38:39.000 I'm always curious about the one that says it lasts for three days and you can just kind of call upon it when you want to.
00:38:44.000 Like a genie.
00:38:46.000 How does that work?
00:38:47.000 Like a genie you keep for three days.
00:38:50.000 I'm on that shit right now and it sucks.
00:38:53.000 The three day thing is not that good.
00:38:55.000 What do you mean you're on it?
00:38:57.000 Explain to me how that works.
00:38:59.000 You can just summon a boner while you're on it?
00:39:02.000 I noticed the first day, it's just intense.
00:39:05.000 Everything that happens close to your dick, it just makes a boner immediately.
00:39:09.000 Today, it's more like if I start touching it or if Jamie starts kissing it with his pretty lips, then it would definitely shoot right back up.
00:39:18.000 But it's not as sensitive to the point where I'm walking around like, God damn it, I have a boner right now, where the first day is.
00:39:24.000 Third day, it's just kind of like you have to try a little harder, but when it's ready...
00:39:29.000 Are you taking Viagra or Cialis or which one of them?
00:39:32.000 Well, this was Black Power, which is...
00:39:34.000 Oh, it's probably Cialis.
00:39:35.000 You don't know which it is.
00:39:36.000 It's Cialis, but it's a bigger pill, so it's more Cialis than a normal pill, so it's like five days worth of Cialis.
00:39:40.000 Oh, my God.
00:39:41.000 Why are you taking all that?
00:39:43.000 Because I have a...
00:39:44.000 I know, but don't you...
00:39:47.000 Don't you think it'd be a better idea to take like half a pill?
00:39:52.000 Have you ever thought about taking half a pill?
00:39:55.000 No, because I want as much boner as possible, Chad.
00:39:59.000 Why do you think I'm not doing the...
00:40:00.000 I'm just worried you're going to die.
00:40:02.000 Why?
00:40:02.000 I'm worried your heart's going to fucking give out.
00:40:04.000 Like, I think boner pills at a certain level are unhealthy.
00:40:07.000 Well, it's weight loss problems.
00:40:09.000 That blood belongs other places most of the time.
00:40:13.000 Exactly!
00:40:14.000 It's alright to borrow it temporarily, but the interest rates get higher the longer you hold on to it.
00:40:19.000 That's what Tim Ferriss always says about biological lunch, that there's no free, biological free lunch.
00:40:25.000 When you take something that has a very positive reaction, it also probably has some side effects that you're not really aware of that are equally powerful.
00:40:33.000 Yeah, ripping pussy apart.
00:40:36.000 Easy over here!
00:40:38.000 Another thing it does that really helps is not cumming at all.
00:40:42.000 You sometimes don't even cum, and you're just like, alright, I just fucking made that chick have the best sex in the whole entire world.
00:40:49.000 Do you know how many people across the country are barfing right now just thinking of you having sex with anyone?
00:40:53.000 And you're talking about tearing pussy apart.
00:40:56.000 You're like a 12-year-old.
00:40:57.000 Do they hurt your brain, or was your brain already hurt?
00:41:01.000 Which one is it?
00:41:03.000 What?
00:41:04.000 Crazy talk.
00:41:05.000 No, it's cool.
00:41:06.000 You should probably have less.
00:41:08.000 I think there's certain dangers with it.
00:41:11.000 But, you know, that's one thing that is weird.
00:41:14.000 Apparently, it enhances athletic performance.
00:41:17.000 It's banned in the Olympics.
00:41:18.000 Because it recycles your blood.
00:41:20.000 Oh, that's what it does.
00:41:22.000 It puts your blood juice over there.
00:41:24.000 Dr. Brian, how would you scientifically describe the effects of CL? It moves the blood juice down around your place.
00:41:32.000 LAUGHTER Yeah, but it apparently enhances endurance.
00:41:39.000 I like how the pill was called the Black Power.
00:41:41.000 Black Power, it's a white guy fucking a black chick on the cover.
00:41:48.000 That's why I got it, because I was like, damn, he's making that girl happy.
00:41:51.000 He's a skinny white guy.
00:41:53.000 There's dudes that only get black girlfriends.
00:41:57.000 You know those dudes?
00:41:58.000 The white dudes are only Jewish guys.
00:41:59.000 It's a lot.
00:42:00.000 It's a lot.
00:42:02.000 I can never take those things, man.
00:42:04.000 I got, you know, with the hard stuff.
00:42:06.000 But I remember when I got out of hospital, a really important thing to me was the doctor said, you can't have sex, so you could walk a flight of stairs.
00:42:13.000 Wow.
00:42:14.000 And I would look at the stairs like every day.
00:42:16.000 Wow.
00:42:17.000 And be like, alright, I'm going to try.
00:42:18.000 And I'd go two or three steps and I'd come back down.
00:42:20.000 It took me about a...
00:42:21.000 Week and a half.
00:42:22.000 Now, when they gave you open heart surgery, they have to open up your chest bone.
00:42:28.000 Yes, sir.
00:42:29.000 What is that?
00:42:30.000 How long does it take before that heals up?
00:42:33.000 Do you feel it now?
00:42:34.000 When you touch it, does it bother you?
00:42:35.000 Sometimes I feel the wire.
00:42:37.000 Through the skin.
00:42:38.000 Yeah, because they wire it shut.
00:42:40.000 You know what I mean?
00:42:40.000 There's a little wire.
00:42:41.000 And when I get x-rayed, you see it looks like a little barbed wire thing wrapped around the sternum.
00:42:45.000 Does that go off when you go through the metal detectors?
00:42:48.000 Man, they have to have it once or twice in my life since this happened.
00:42:51.000 I believe that that set it off.
00:42:54.000 Oh, wow.
00:42:54.000 But it's like when they're on super high.
00:42:56.000 Like, if they're set high...
00:42:58.000 I've gone through those, you know, the full body.
00:43:00.000 They never say a word.
00:43:01.000 They never ask me about anything.
00:43:03.000 So I don't even know if they see it.
00:43:04.000 The full body is a radio wave thing, and what it's looking for is external objects.
00:43:09.000 It's looking for shit that you might have in your pocket, like shanks.
00:43:14.000 Sometimes like those wands.
00:43:16.000 Those make it go off?
00:43:17.000 If it's set ridiculously high.
00:43:20.000 Wow.
00:43:21.000 I've had guys go like, what is that?
00:43:23.000 And I'd be like, why are they wearing a necklace today?
00:43:24.000 I was like, you must be getting either the wire or my valve.
00:43:28.000 Wow, right through the skin.
00:43:29.000 How fucked up is it we have to test people for metal?
00:43:32.000 Make sure they're not bringing anything hard on them.
00:43:34.000 Does it feel foreign?
00:43:35.000 Like sometimes, does it like vibrate during certain things?
00:43:38.000 Like if you're like on a roller coaster, do you feel like a certain foreign object inside of you?
00:43:42.000 No.
00:43:43.000 No, it's all, you know, the crazy part is like acoustics of rooms.
00:43:47.000 Sometimes if I'm sitting in the right spot, it's so loud, it's ridiculous.
00:43:52.000 Yeah, yeah, like people, I'll be like, what the hell?
00:43:54.000 You know, if I'm in the right spot in the right room, it's just like...
00:43:58.000 Because 90% of the time for me it's white noise.
00:44:01.000 I don't hear that click anymore.
00:44:04.000 Unless I want to, I can hear it.
00:44:06.000 Click is life.
00:44:08.000 Oddly enough, it's a clock to me.
00:44:11.000 It's like, alright, each one of those is a second.
00:44:13.000 I was thinking about it the other day.
00:44:15.000 I was just talking to somebody about when you really figure it out.
00:44:18.000 How many days do we live?
00:44:20.000 Maybe 35,000, 40,000 days?
00:44:23.000 Is that a lot?
00:44:23.000 365 days a year.
00:44:25.000 So 10 years would be 3,000.
00:44:28.000 So, you know, 20, 3,000.
00:44:32.000 If you live 60 years, 70 years, call it 70. 70 times 365. We're all math retards.
00:44:45.000 That's a lot of time.
00:44:46.000 That's somewhere in that neighborhood, I'm sure.
00:44:48.000 A lot of days.
00:44:50.000 Let's call it 50,000 days your life is.
00:44:52.000 Does that sound like a lot?
00:44:53.000 It doesn't to me.
00:44:54.000 No.
00:44:55.000 No, it doesn't sound like a lot.
00:44:56.000 I equate it to dollars, man.
00:44:58.000 I could spend that now.
00:44:59.000 I could go out of here right now and spend $50,000.
00:45:02.000 Right.
00:45:03.000 I hear you.
00:45:03.000 I wouldn't want to.
00:45:04.000 That would suck.
00:45:05.000 Unless you're a gambling man.
00:45:07.000 Or just an ass.
00:45:11.000 Yeah, I think we like to think that this shit's going to last forever, but clearly it's not.
00:45:15.000 Yeah, it's really short, man.
00:45:16.000 That's the one thing that whole thing really made me realize.
00:45:18.000 When I was laying on the thing going in, I was literally mainly thinking I wasn't coming out of it.
00:45:23.000 I was like, I'm dying.
00:45:25.000 You know, the whole...
00:45:26.000 For me, I didn't see visions of flashing before my eyes.
00:45:29.000 It was just the whole...
00:45:30.000 I think I even said it on the show before.
00:45:31.000 It was the summation of, like, that's how long it was.
00:45:35.000 Wow, that was a blink of a fucking eye from birth till now.
00:45:38.000 Right.
00:45:39.000 Wow.
00:45:40.000 And that was the...
00:45:41.000 You know, that's really my biggest lesson out of it.
00:45:44.000 And now I got a clock ticking.
00:45:46.000 I'm the crocodile from Peter Pan, you know?
00:45:49.000 Well, when you go through anything that really makes you think that it could be over, that makes you reassess the whole picture.
00:45:54.000 Sometimes we just get real used to everything.
00:45:56.000 You get used to being able to go to the supermarket and get food.
00:46:00.000 You get used to being able to get up in the morning and walk.
00:46:04.000 You get used to all these things.
00:46:06.000 Being alive.
00:46:06.000 Being alive, yeah.
00:46:07.000 Just being conscious.
00:46:09.000 I mean, the world is a strange, strange fucking place, man.
00:46:12.000 We're just so used to it that we don't even think about how strange it is.
00:46:16.000 Yeah, every once in a while I'll sit back and just think about the actual breath I'm going to take.
00:46:22.000 That's crazy.
00:46:23.000 Yeah.
00:46:24.000 What you took in, what your body took out of it, what you're pushing out.
00:46:28.000 You know what I mean?
00:46:29.000 That one simple thing is high science.
00:46:33.000 And it's invisible.
00:46:34.000 Completely.
00:46:35.000 You need it and it's invisible.
00:46:36.000 You don't even know where it is.
00:46:37.000 You'd be in a room and there's none of it in there.
00:46:39.000 Maybe kind of like God.
00:46:41.000 Whoa!
00:46:43.000 What led you to the Muslim religion as opposed to Christianity?
00:46:47.000 I lived with a family that was Muslim.
00:46:51.000 They never once talked to me about it or anything.
00:46:53.000 I found some literature that I read.
00:46:56.000 I listened to a tape or two.
00:46:59.000 My fundamental understanding of it is it's all three of the Judeo-Christian.
00:47:07.000 It's a summation.
00:47:09.000 Of all three.
00:47:10.000 Is it?
00:47:11.000 Yeah.
00:47:11.000 What are the three?
00:47:14.000 Judaism, Christianity, and Islam.
00:47:16.000 It goes through all the so-called prophets and all that.
00:47:20.000 And to be honest, it's like all those, you know, the more the older I get, the more I see those are stories.
00:47:26.000 I still, like I said, believe in the Creator.
00:47:29.000 See, Islam for me just brought me like, oh, this is all connected.
00:47:32.000 And it was like very much about peace and a time in my life when I needed that.
00:47:37.000 And...
00:47:39.000 But like I said, I'm not part of any mosque.
00:47:42.000 I'm not part of any...
00:47:43.000 And I don't even practice like that.
00:47:46.000 You know what I mean?
00:47:46.000 For me, it's like personal...
00:47:49.000 Again, if it wasn't me and you having this discussion, it's like, man, it's not even important.
00:47:53.000 It's my thing.
00:47:54.000 Whatever yours is yours.
00:47:56.000 Because if I was a real Muslim, like hardcore...
00:48:01.000 Praise Odin.
00:48:02.000 I'd be all offended.
00:48:03.000 Praise Odin.
00:48:06.000 And it's so silly because it's like, come on.
00:48:09.000 That's kind of the point.
00:48:10.000 You know what I mean?
00:48:11.000 And that's when religion for me gets narrow-minded and I can't follow that path.
00:48:17.000 So what you say is that you benefit from it?
00:48:20.000 I benefit from the knowledge I've taken from it.
00:48:24.000 I mean, you could say I'm Christian and Muslim because I've practiced both in my life.
00:48:32.000 You were talking earlier about Catholicism.
00:48:35.000 I was raised going to catechism school and all that, learning the lessons, and then at 14 I had what they call a confirmation.
00:48:45.000 Which was you go before the bishop and you basically do this thing and it's like you're sort of bar mitzvah of a Christian in that symbolic way.
00:48:55.000 We didn't get any checks or big parties.
00:48:58.000 You know, it wasn't a big like that.
00:49:00.000 It was just kind of you go there and you're a man now and you get the Holy Spirit is supposed to come down into you.
00:49:04.000 And I was buying in at that age.
00:49:06.000 You know what I mean?
00:49:06.000 I bought in.
00:49:07.000 I was going to it all.
00:49:08.000 And I remember sitting there in the church and the guy anoints you with the thing and you say the words and I'm walking back and I sit down in my pew and I'm like, okay, it's going to happen.
00:49:16.000 Other kids are kind of acting.
00:49:18.000 It wasn't like, ah, this happened to me, but kids were like happy and yay.
00:49:21.000 And I just didn't feel a goddamn thing.
00:49:23.000 And for me, It wasn't that I thought religion was bullshit, like how you turned.
00:49:27.000 It was for me, I was like, oh man, there's something wrong with me.
00:49:30.000 For a long time.
00:49:32.000 You know what I mean?
00:49:32.000 And then, like I said, I found this other thing that kind of accepted me.
00:49:37.000 On my own, on my own terms.
00:49:39.000 Nobody introduced me to Islam, personally.
00:49:41.000 Nobody said, this is what you should think, or believe, or here's something for you to read.
00:49:45.000 This stuff fell into my lap.
00:49:47.000 And I was like, like I said, I follow signs.
00:49:50.000 And so that got me through a very...
00:49:53.000 I believe like that philosophy and the way it took my mind are one of the reasons I'm still alive today.
00:49:57.000 I think there's some great lessons in a lot of organized religions.
00:50:01.000 Some great lessons in both the Bible and the Quran and the Torah.
00:50:06.000 There's great lessons in there.
00:50:07.000 The problem is they're old as fuck.
00:50:09.000 And they need to be updated.
00:50:12.000 It's not a bad thing to have something like a Bible, but it's a bad thing to have some old shit that nobody truly understands and not have some just guidelines of how to live life and be a happy, healthy person.
00:50:28.000 And don't necessarily say that they came...
00:50:33.000 From anywhere.
00:50:34.000 You don't know where the fuck they came from.
00:50:36.000 But these are things that people have accumulated and we've figured out in time.
00:50:39.000 What's up?
00:50:39.000 I got a song.
00:50:40.000 You got a song about this?
00:50:41.000 It's going to show you my religion.
00:50:42.000 Oh, okay.
00:50:43.000 Beautiful.
00:50:43.000 Let's do it.
00:50:44.000 This is my religion.
00:50:45.000 Okay.
00:50:47.000 It's almost like we set this up.
00:50:49.000 Well, that's why I had to grab the guitar.
00:50:55.000 Powerful Everlasting.
00:50:57.000 That's my religion.
00:51:00.000 This is called Friday the 13th.
00:51:02.000 Okay.
00:51:13.000 They say everything's fine, down where the red lights shine, once the junkies fog on the bed.
00:51:20.000 Once the sun rises, run out of surprises, and the drugs they start to clear from your head.
00:51:26.000 It's hot as nothing, bush comes shoving, throw some money on the table, come last night's loving.
00:51:32.000 Got the soul of a whore, got the heart of a lonely man.
00:51:37.000 If I ain't fucking things up, I do the very best that I can.
00:51:53.000 I got mad distracted.
00:51:56.000 Hold up.
00:51:57.000 What got you distracted?
00:52:00.000 We're good to go.
00:52:22.000 I wound up on a horrible song.
00:52:24.000 Sorry, I got a voicemail.
00:52:26.000 I got nervous.
00:52:27.000 I don't blame you.
00:52:28.000 I live in fear of cause.
00:52:31.000 I couldn't even let go of it in my brain.
00:52:34.000 I had to stop and start over.
00:52:47.000 They say everything's fine down with red lights shine once the junkies fog on a bed.
00:52:53.000 And once the sun rises, run out of surprises and the drugs they sought to clear from your head.
00:53:00.000 As hot as an oven, bush comes to shoving.
00:53:02.000 Throw some money on the table, cover the last night's loving.
00:53:06.000 Got the soul of a whore, got the heart of a lonely man.
00:53:11.000 If I ain't fucking things up, I do the very best that I can.
00:53:17.000 Just like a lamb to the slaughter, a horse to the water.
00:53:20.000 I only want to drink it if I know I should not have.
00:53:23.000 I'm a scared little boy, but I'm really one hell of a man.
00:53:29.000 And I'm a junkie falling love in touch of a stranger's hand.
00:53:35.000 They say everything's love up in the heavens above, but here on earth you must atone for your sins.
00:53:41.000 You went in room for judging once the Lord starts by your moment, and then the ones that wins.
00:53:47.000 How you play the game?
00:53:49.000 Still all the same.
00:53:50.000 They say it's only cheating if you get called.
00:53:53.000 So you're lying and you're sinning, running around and grinning with that scared-ass knowledge you bought.
00:53:59.000 You got the mind of a leper and the soul of a tortured king.
00:54:05.000 And it's all breaking down and that's a truly unfortunate thing.
00:54:11.000 While you're fighting for survival, I'm feeling sacrificial.
00:54:14.000 Got a brand new rifle, girl, it's a government issue.
00:54:17.000 Got a heart full of stone, got an eye that's about to take aim.
00:54:22.000 And every fucking person up on Twitter's gonna sweep my name.
00:54:29.000 Cause they all gone stupid, they all got lazy.
00:54:32.000 They worship all the money and the idolize it crazy.
00:54:35.000 Everybody want to go to heaven, but everyone's afraid to die.
00:54:40.000 And what if God is real, but religion's all just one big lie?
00:54:47.000 Yeah, the boss said lower, the temperature's higher.
00:54:50.000 Somebody got to spark it and set one big fire.
00:55:01.000 Oh, man.
00:55:02.000 That's your religion.
00:55:03.000 That was horrible.
00:55:03.000 No, that was great.
00:55:04.000 It was horrible.
00:55:05.000 No, it was a real moment, man.
00:55:07.000 No, I let my mind get away from me on that one.
00:55:09.000 Listen, I shouldn't answer the phone.
00:55:10.000 I was going to be polite and leave the room.
00:55:13.000 I thought that would be more distracting.
00:55:15.000 Okay?
00:55:16.000 All right, let's do a...
00:55:18.000 All right, we'll do this.
00:55:42.000 We're good to go.
00:55:54.000 We're good to go.
00:56:14.000 We're good to go.
00:56:22.000 We're good to go.
00:56:27.000 We're good to go.
00:56:31.000 We're good to go.
00:56:49.000 We're good to go.
00:56:59.000 We're good to go.
00:57:02.000 We're good to go.
00:57:11.000 We're good to go.
00:57:15.000 We're good to go.
00:57:30.000 We're good to go.
00:57:38.000 We're good to go.
00:58:18.000 That was beautiful.
00:58:21.000 That reminded me of the Trayvon Martin case, man.
00:58:25.000 There's a lot of that in there.
00:58:26.000 What's going on with that?
00:58:27.000 Isn't that just in the trial about to start again?
00:58:29.000 Yeah, I don't know.
00:58:29.000 I don't know what's going on with that.
00:58:31.000 I think it's heated up.
00:58:32.000 It's in the news all the time.
00:58:34.000 It's a fascinating case, man.
00:58:35.000 People are in real trouble for manipulating the news.
00:58:38.000 The way they portrayed it, a lot of people were under the impression that that was like a little kid.
00:58:42.000 He was really small.
00:58:44.000 Those were really old pictures of him.
00:58:46.000 He was a much larger kid.
00:58:48.000 He beat the fuck out of that guy before the guy shot him.
00:58:51.000 He had blood all over his head.
00:58:52.000 His nose was punched in.
00:58:54.000 There's a lot of weird shit as to whether or not, you know, he was a victim or he was an asshole that he shouldn't have been doing in the first place.
00:59:01.000 It's a very racially divisive issue, you know?
00:59:04.000 It's really a fucked up issue.
00:59:05.000 He's alive though.
00:59:06.000 Yeah, that's true.
00:59:07.000 You know what I mean?
00:59:08.000 You can take a punch in the nose.
00:59:09.000 You know, you can apologize for that.
00:59:11.000 You can, you know what I mean?
00:59:12.000 Well, you know what, man?
00:59:13.000 If he thought that dude was going to kill him...
00:59:15.000 I'm not calling right or wrong on either side.
00:59:16.000 I'm just saying.
00:59:17.000 Like, one dude's alive, one dude's dead, and one dude was following another dude when he shouldn't have been.
00:59:21.000 Apparently, that's not true.
00:59:23.000 Apparently, that was something that was also reported that wasn't true.
00:59:26.000 He didn't follow that kid.
00:59:27.000 Apparently, they told him to stop, and he got in his car, and the kid was looking for him.
00:59:31.000 But who the fuck knows?
00:59:32.000 When something like that happens...
00:59:34.000 I never heard that, but I ain't paying attention.
00:59:36.000 We're getting a bunch of different versions of something.
00:59:38.000 Got my own world problems.
00:59:39.000 Yeah, none of them are from...
00:59:40.000 But that song reminded me of that a lot.
00:59:42.000 That's an old Slick Rick song.
00:59:44.000 Is it really?
00:59:44.000 Children's story, yeah.
00:59:45.000 Oh, wow.
00:59:46.000 Oh, that's right.
00:59:47.000 Once upon a time, not long ago...
00:59:49.000 Oh, yeah.
00:59:49.000 I didn't even recognize it.
00:59:53.000 Wow, it's so different.
00:59:55.000 I didn't even recognize it.
00:59:56.000 That's crazy.
00:59:57.000 I need some fun in my brain to shake off that, because I hate when I screw up.
01:00:00.000 Or just bungle something.
01:00:03.000 Yeah, I know.
01:00:04.000 I can have the best set ever, but I fuck up one joke and that shit will haunt me for days.
01:00:09.000 That's why I had to do another one right away.
01:00:10.000 I was sitting here looking at you like...
01:00:12.000 No, that was fucking awesome.
01:00:14.000 Don't worry about it, man.
01:00:15.000 People don't think that it comes out right every time.
01:00:18.000 People know.
01:00:19.000 That's the beauty of what it does.
01:00:21.000 I'm not even worried about the people.
01:00:22.000 Joe Rogan people have been nothing but good to me.
01:00:24.000 I'm just saying, me personally.
01:00:25.000 Me personally, right.
01:00:26.000 As an artist, I was like...
01:00:29.000 There.
01:00:30.000 Nobody else will understand that except you right now.
01:00:33.000 Other people are like, it's no big deal, man.
01:00:35.000 It's no big deal.
01:00:35.000 It's still all awesome.
01:00:37.000 That's a beautiful song, man.
01:00:38.000 That religion song is a beautiful song.
01:00:40.000 A lot of people, it's going to be their anthem.
01:00:42.000 It's just me saying, like I said, what if God is real and religion is all just a big lie?
01:00:47.000 That's kind of how I look at it.
01:00:49.000 God might be real, man.
01:00:51.000 I kind of feel like it is.
01:00:53.000 Whatever it is.
01:00:54.000 I think it's beneficial.
01:00:56.000 You're not going to be pleased with the motherfuckers murdering each other over the rules.
01:01:00.000 I think it's beneficial.
01:01:02.000 There's one rule.
01:01:02.000 We all know it, right?
01:01:04.000 Do unto others.
01:01:05.000 Yeah.
01:01:06.000 That's the rule.
01:01:06.000 It really is.
01:01:08.000 That's the only rule.
01:01:09.000 I think it's beneficial to be humbled.
01:01:11.000 But my religion actually is the last line of that song.
01:01:13.000 Somebody needs to spark it and set one big fire.
01:01:17.000 That's a real religion.
01:01:18.000 Everybody says weed's not a religion.
01:01:20.000 It's never taken a pot cookie and gotten on an airplane.
01:01:23.000 That's real religion.
01:01:24.000 That's real.
01:01:25.000 It's real.
01:01:26.000 It's humbling.
01:01:27.000 It makes you think about your childhood.
01:01:28.000 It makes you think about love and happiness.
01:01:30.000 It makes you think about honesty and friendship.
01:01:33.000 It makes you think about creativity.
01:01:35.000 That's real, man.
01:01:36.000 That's connecting you with the spirit of nature.
01:01:39.000 It made you paranoid, yes.
01:01:41.000 It made you feel weird.
01:01:43.000 It made you have all these crazy thoughts because it's connecting you to the spirit of nature, the mother earth, Gaia.
01:01:49.000 In a little baby dose of plant love.
01:01:52.000 And that baby dose of plant love just sparks every cannabinoid receptor in your fucking monkey brain.
01:01:58.000 And you start seeing shit in a way that you're not going to see without the weed.
01:02:01.000 Like it or not.
01:02:03.000 You're a man of your own creation.
01:02:05.000 Absolutely.
01:02:05.000 You have gotten where you got because of hard work and dedication.
01:02:09.000 So true, so true.
01:02:11.000 But you know what?
01:02:12.000 You will have an experience when that marijuana spirit gets into your bloodstream.
01:02:17.000 It gets into your system and gives you a little dance.
01:02:19.000 And you can accept the fact that you were tuned into some other form of intelligence.
01:02:22.000 You can accept the fact that there's something about this thing that's making ideas explode inside your brain that had never been there before.
01:02:30.000 Or you can just fucking keep drinking coffee.
01:02:36.000 Go to work.
01:02:38.000 Just believe in stupid shit.
01:02:44.000 Is this one even working right now?
01:02:46.000 Oh, it is.
01:02:46.000 That one just has more...
01:02:47.000 Yeah, you double rock.
01:02:48.000 Is there a better voice one?
01:02:50.000 The silver one is better?
01:02:54.000 So it gives you a very specific sound?
01:02:56.000 Well, here's this one.
01:02:57.000 Okay.
01:02:59.000 Here's this one.
01:03:00.000 Oh, it's deeper.
01:03:00.000 Is this compressed?
01:03:01.000 Oh, okay.
01:03:02.000 Pretty much compressed.
01:03:03.000 It's low compression.
01:03:04.000 It'll make for better audio on the singing.
01:03:06.000 You could call me up and do dirty talk to me and I wouldn't even know it was you.
01:03:10.000 How are you doing?
01:03:11.000 Ooh, I'd get scared.
01:03:12.000 That's not what I want to hear.
01:03:13.000 How are you doing kettlebell workouts?
01:03:17.000 I'm doing battle ropes today, brother.
01:03:19.000 Today's battle rope day.
01:03:23.000 What do you got now, man?
01:03:25.000 We'll do another one.
01:03:26.000 Hopefully I can shake off that bullshit.
01:03:28.000 Oh, you son of a bitch.
01:03:31.000 Still?
01:03:31.000 Still?
01:03:32.000 It's still bothering me?
01:03:32.000 No, it's gone now.
01:03:33.000 I apologize with all my heart.
01:03:34.000 I did not think that that was going to distract you.
01:03:36.000 Dude, I've done it to every interview ever.
01:03:38.000 Because I won't turn off my phone, God forbid, in case I need to get there.
01:03:41.000 And it wasn't a judgment.
01:03:43.000 It was just like, I just couldn't...
01:03:44.000 The chords in my hand started playing another song, and then lyrics from another song came.
01:03:49.000 It's like some weird...
01:03:50.000 I've never written anything down.
01:03:52.000 Oh, right, right, right.
01:03:54.000 If a picture gets cross-referenced, I'm fucked.
01:03:58.000 That is such a fascinating way to do your music.
01:04:01.000 I know Jay-Z does his raps that way too.
01:04:04.000 Yeah.
01:04:04.000 I think that's really fascinating.
01:04:06.000 I mean, for me, again, I think we discussed it, but if I get started as a rap thing, I believe you should have it all right here.
01:04:12.000 Right.
01:04:12.000 I don't need a band.
01:04:14.000 Well, you probably should, you know?
01:04:15.000 I mean, there's probably some benefit to having it all right there, you know?
01:04:19.000 Be able to pull on it anytime you want, instead of relying on pieces of paper.
01:04:23.000 Yeah.
01:04:24.000 And you record it all anyway.
01:04:24.000 Like I said, when I open my eyes and saw something, and then your brain, you know, automatically is asking questions.
01:04:30.000 Right.
01:04:30.000 So, you know what I mean?
01:04:31.000 It's not even, it's just like, it's not even like, fuck Joe.
01:04:33.000 It's like, what's going on?
01:04:34.000 Is something bad happening?
01:04:36.000 And that's enough that the song's gone.
01:04:38.000 It's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
01:04:39.000 I think it's cool for people to see that.
01:04:41.000 I should have kept my fucking eyes closed is what I should have did.
01:04:43.000 That's why I close my eyes a lot during performances because sometimes some motherfucker will turn around and do his Facebook photo shoot and selfie with me in the background in the middle of a concert.
01:04:54.000 Like, fuck, come on.
01:04:56.000 People used to go to concerts to watch concerts.
01:04:58.000 Now they're watching it through their phone for their YouTube posts.
01:05:03.000 Yeah, they're looking at their life through a little four-inch window.
01:05:05.000 Instead of living it.
01:05:06.000 Yeah.
01:05:07.000 It's distracting.
01:05:08.000 In comedy shows, you see a lot of that.
01:05:10.000 A lot of people holding their phones up.
01:05:12.000 You know, on one hand, it's nice if you want to take a picture of me, but on the other hand, it's kind of weird.
01:05:16.000 It's distracting.
01:05:18.000 This one's called weakness.
01:05:43.000 Met a fine red-born mommy.
01:05:45.000 She told me her name was Lucille.
01:05:49.000 Met her on Fountain Avenue, sitting on the back of a Cadillac Coupe de Ville.
01:05:55.000 She said, I'm a liar, a thief, I'm a junkie, and I used to be a whore.
01:06:02.000 And I've been trying to shake this monkey so long, I just can't take it no more.
01:06:07.000 And she said, I got a weakness, I got a hunger, I got a Jones.
01:06:14.000 I'm sick and I need to get well.
01:06:16.000 I hurt deep in my bones.
01:06:20.000 I got a weakness, I got a fever, I got a thirst.
01:06:26.000 I'm sitting on the edge of a bubble just waiting for it to burst.
01:06:44.000 We talked all afternoon.
01:06:46.000 She made me cry, told some jokes.
01:06:51.000 She looked me deep in my eyes, told me love was nothing but a cool horse.
01:06:57.000 Her grandma died when she was five and she never did know her, folks.
01:07:03.000 Her father fell in a gunfight and her mother fired over the horse.
01:07:08.000 And she said, I got a weakness, I got a hunger, I got a Jones.
01:07:15.000 I'm sick and I need to get well, I hurt deep in my bones.
01:07:21.000 And I got a weakness, I got a fever, I got a thirst.
01:07:27.000 I'm sitting on the edge of the bubble, just waiting for it to burst.
01:07:45.000 She said, I slept with gangsters, thugs and smugglers, congressmen and governors.
01:07:53.000 I've seen therapists and holy men, but this weakness is my only friend.
01:08:01.000 Beats my need, it numbs my soul.
01:08:04.000 Starts to creep and take control.
01:08:07.000 Sell my flesh, I pierce my skin, and tomorrow I'll do it all again.
01:08:13.000 Cause I got a weakness, I got hunger, I got Jones.
01:08:20.000 Sicken me to get well, I hurt deep in my bones.
01:08:26.000 I got a weakness, I got a fever, I got a thirst.
01:08:32.000 I'm sitting on the edge of the bubble, just waiting for it to burst.
01:08:54.000 And you paint with a dark brush.
01:08:57.000 You know?
01:08:58.000 Sometimes.
01:08:59.000 Yeah, almost always.
01:09:01.000 Yeah.
01:09:01.000 I mean, there's happiness in it, but you paint with it.
01:09:04.000 There's hope.
01:09:05.000 Yeah, there's that hope, a little bit.
01:09:09.000 All the interesting people do, though, unfortunately.
01:09:12.000 I hate giving people the impression that you have to make sad music, though, because, I mean, it's just not what I do.
01:09:17.000 Right.
01:09:17.000 Or happy music.
01:09:18.000 Right.
01:09:18.000 I mean, I can't write that song.
01:09:21.000 I mean, jump around.
01:09:23.000 You know what I mean?
01:09:25.000 That's just a whole different deal.
01:09:26.000 It's a different time, too, right?
01:09:27.000 For you?
01:09:28.000 Do you hear that old stuff, the rap stuff, and go like, wow, that's a different time.
01:09:32.000 Yeah.
01:09:33.000 I hear my voice, and I know I'm just a baby.
01:09:36.000 I didn't even find my voice until the third House of Pain record.
01:09:41.000 It's weird, isn't it?
01:09:42.000 When you look back on all the shit that you've done.
01:09:44.000 And then it took me like three albums to find my singing voice.
01:09:46.000 You know what I mean?
01:09:47.000 Like, Whitey Ford isn't my finest singing.
01:09:49.000 It's good work, but it's not my best.
01:09:52.000 Thank God nobody talked you out of putting out that record.
01:09:55.000 They tried.
01:09:55.000 When you tell that story about, hey, they tried, that is so frustrating to me because it's always the case where people just, for whatever reason, they don't ever want to accept that a dude like you could do more than one different kind of thing, you know?
01:10:10.000 Yeah, I hear that, man.
01:10:13.000 Again, I follow those signs.
01:10:15.000 I just kind of...
01:10:16.000 You just go by your instincts.
01:10:17.000 I got to the point in House of Pain where I felt like I was showing up for the chicks, and that made me feel rather whore-like.
01:10:25.000 It must be hard to do things with a bunch of dudes, even if you love them, too.
01:10:28.000 Even if you love them.
01:10:30.000 Just writing songs with a bunch of other dudes.
01:10:32.000 Seems like a nightmare.
01:10:34.000 Well, musically, I was doing more than my share of the work.
01:10:38.000 Oh, I'm sure.
01:10:39.000 I'm sure.
01:10:40.000 Again, it just became not fun.
01:10:41.000 That's really what it was.
01:10:42.000 It just became a point where, and luckily I'm spoiled rotten enough in my life that if it wasn't fun, I wasn't doing it.
01:10:48.000 Yeah.
01:10:49.000 And I didn't care, you know, and the thing was, I wasn't uber rich when I quit House of Pain.
01:10:52.000 I had a few bucks, but it was going to be like, what's next in life?
01:10:58.000 What's the next stage?
01:10:58.000 I didn't know if I was going to make another record at all.
01:11:01.000 You know, a friend called and said, come to New York, fuck record deals, fuck labels, just get in the studio and smoke some dope, see what happens.
01:11:09.000 He heard me playing guitar in his living room one night and we gotta record that and this turns into that and what it's like is this and then...
01:11:18.000 None of it was mapped out in some superior plan we didn't have.
01:11:25.000 A lot of the best shit that happens is by accident.
01:11:28.000 Of course.
01:11:29.000 There's very few songs that are guaranteed to give me goosebumps.
01:11:34.000 But that song that you did with Carlos Santana, Turn Your Lights On?
01:11:37.000 You want it?
01:11:38.000 Fuck yeah!
01:11:39.000 That's one of my all-time favorite songs.
01:11:41.000 Dude, that song, before you even pick up the guitar, there's something about that song where you know when a dude sings something where there's an authentic pain being expressed.
01:11:51.000 There's an authentic emotion.
01:11:53.000 Every word is qualified.
01:11:57.000 You know what I mean?
01:11:58.000 By an experience.
01:11:59.000 And there's something that comes out of that.
01:12:01.000 That song.
01:12:02.000 Everything.
01:12:04.000 From Carlos Santana's motherfucking guitar, the 60 years of bullshit that guy's gone through in his life, 60 plus years, to all the shit you were going through when you wrote those lyrics and the way you were singing them, that's a fucking crispy song,
01:12:21.000 man.
01:12:21.000 Thank you, man.
01:12:22.000 That song, woo!
01:12:23.000 It's crispy.
01:12:24.000 You hear that song and just woo!
01:12:26.000 You get those goosebumps.
01:12:27.000 One of them meant to be things.
01:12:30.000 We had discussed this in detail.
01:12:31.000 I had finished the Whitey Ford record and got out of surgery and was being...
01:12:38.000 Leaving a house.
01:12:39.000 You got fucked over.
01:12:40.000 Yeah, a lot of things happened at the same time where the accountant fucked me and then the hospital because the accountant fucked me, I canceled my insurance because I didn't have insurance.
01:12:48.000 I had a hospital bill at like 400 grand.
01:12:51.000 I went from overnight being like, Like I said, I had a few bucks, you know what I mean?
01:12:55.000 Probably had like cash, maybe like half a milli or something, you know what I mean?
01:12:58.000 You know how many people right now went, wait a minute, this motherfucker was depressed, he had half a million dollars?
01:13:02.000 No, one day, like the day before.
01:13:05.000 Oh, the day before.
01:13:05.000 And then the next day, like I owed the government, like fucking, after they took all the bread, like I still owed like the government and hospitals like half a milli.
01:13:13.000 So you went a million dollar swing in like a day.
01:13:16.000 Let's call it a week.
01:13:17.000 Oh my god.
01:13:18.000 Between hearing the news about getting screwed.
01:13:21.000 But then I had this song and somebody said Santana's looking for a song and he sent it and we talked about the rest, man.
01:13:27.000 But it was the first song he cut for that album.
01:13:29.000 He called it the centerpiece of his record.
01:13:31.000 I'm proud of that.
01:13:32.000 I'm proud of that.
01:13:33.000 Give me a call, man.
01:13:34.000 I ain't heard from you in like 15 years, Carlos.
01:13:37.000 Carlos Santana does not listen to this podcast.
01:13:39.000 Somebody that knows him does.
01:13:41.000 He's busy being Carlos Santana.
01:13:42.000 It doesn't matter.
01:13:42.000 He's tagged like 1,500 times on Twitter by the time everybody listens to that.
01:13:47.000 Oh, Carlos Santana.
01:13:49.000 Speaking of this, I found a rock on the beach yesterday.
01:13:51.000 I was with my kids and we found this rock and it had all these holes in it.
01:13:55.000 And I said, is that like from space?
01:13:56.000 Like, is that an asteroid or a meteorite or something like that?
01:13:59.000 Like, what is this?
01:13:59.000 And so I put on Twitter, I said, does anybody know, any geology people out there know what this is?
01:14:05.000 Joe Perry from Aerosmith is the first person to respond.
01:14:09.000 And he says it's a type of sea rock and the holes come from water erosion.
01:14:16.000 I was like, god damn!
01:14:18.000 The real Joe, and he's the first person, the first person that responds on our Twitter.
01:14:24.000 That's where this game of tag is nuts.
01:14:26.000 Joe Perry is on you.
01:14:27.000 He's on you.
01:14:28.000 Joe Perry's a cool motherfucker.
01:14:29.000 I've had conversations with him.
01:14:31.000 He's fucking Aerosmith, dude.
01:14:32.000 How you not cool if you're...
01:14:33.000 One of the bad guitars of all time.
01:14:35.000 Joe Perry's...
01:14:36.000 The baddest link of all time.
01:14:40.000 So many of them, too.
01:14:41.000 Not just that one.
01:14:42.000 Old school Aerosmith.
01:14:44.000 That's worldwide.
01:14:45.000 That's darkest corner of Africa bar.
01:14:49.000 You put that on, somebody in that bar is going to be like, Aerosmith.
01:14:51.000 Oh, yeah.
01:14:52.000 I grew up in Boston, so Aerosmith is royalty.
01:14:55.000 They're Boston royalty.
01:14:56.000 They came from Boston, you know?
01:14:58.000 All that early shit, you know?
01:15:00.000 Walk This Way was just tremendous, tremendous fuel those guys had behind them.
01:15:06.000 And eventually it became ballads.
01:15:08.000 But the shocking thing is not that he follows you to me.
01:15:10.000 It's that he's a goddamn gemologist or whatever the hell.
01:15:14.000 Well, I think he's a part of that whole rock for science thing.
01:15:18.000 Is that what it's called?
01:15:19.000 What is it?
01:15:19.000 Hold on.
01:15:19.000 Let me find out if that's true.
01:15:21.000 There's something going on.
01:15:22.000 Rock the science.
01:15:25.000 Maybe this will be something we can pull up.
01:15:28.000 I don't know.
01:15:29.000 There's something going on.
01:15:30.000 Rockets?
01:15:31.000 I don't know.
01:15:32.000 I think there's...
01:15:33.000 I shouldn't have said that because I don't know the information.
01:15:36.000 See if you can Google that, anybody, Brian.
01:15:38.000 See if you can pull up because it's going to take too much to look.
01:15:41.000 But I think there's the Rockstars of Science.
01:15:43.000 Maybe that's it.
01:15:44.000 Yeah.
01:15:45.000 Rockstars of Science.
01:15:46.000 And what they're trying to do is get kids to be excited about science.
01:15:51.000 Because so many kids are following Joe Perry.
01:15:53.000 Yeah.
01:15:53.000 No, kids are following rock stars.
01:15:57.000 Somebody junior high and elementary school kids.
01:16:00.000 How dare you.
01:16:00.000 There's no kids.
01:16:01.000 How dare you.
01:16:02.000 No kids are following any rock stars nowadays, right?
01:16:05.000 They're all like, you know.
01:16:07.000 You don't think so?
01:16:08.000 You might get Lil Wayne.
01:16:09.000 You know, on that, you might get them kids.
01:16:11.000 Yeah, Bieber.
01:16:12.000 Little Wayne.
01:16:13.000 Right now, Joe Perry's just got, you know, me and you going like, damn!
01:16:16.000 Yeah, it's Joe Perry.
01:16:17.000 Yeah, there's a bunch of people in here, and then a bunch of science people.
01:16:21.000 This is interesting.
01:16:22.000 So it's actually a show.
01:16:23.000 What is that?
01:16:24.000 It's not Gemma.
01:16:25.000 The Rock Stars of Science.
01:16:26.000 What was Andy Dufresne in...
01:16:29.000 In that movie.
01:16:30.000 He liked to shape the rocks.
01:16:32.000 What did they call that?
01:16:33.000 Gem-tologist?
01:16:35.000 Is it a gemologist?
01:16:36.000 Was I right?
01:16:37.000 I don't know.
01:16:37.000 It didn't sound right.
01:16:38.000 Gemologist is someone who studies rocks.
01:16:41.000 Just all rocks.
01:16:42.000 Okay.
01:16:42.000 They're geologists, though.
01:16:43.000 That's geologists.
01:16:44.000 Gemologist is someone who studies gems.
01:16:46.000 Yeah.
01:16:47.000 That's a hologram.
01:16:48.000 Those Jews that are controlling the diamond business.
01:16:50.000 I know there's a name for it because that movie, The Shawshank Redemption, is my favorite movie.
01:16:52.000 They called him something in that.
01:16:54.000 Diamonds are very pretty.
01:16:56.000 There's no mistaking that.
01:16:57.000 But man, what an amazing job they've done in making diamonds like this valuable commodity.
01:17:02.000 Storing them in a warehouse and releasing them and keeping the prices elevated.
01:17:07.000 That's a meme right there.
01:17:09.000 Diamonds are very pretty.
01:17:11.000 Well, they are, Brian.
01:17:12.000 Okay, that's why people are willing to pay money for them.
01:17:14.000 But it's fascinating.
01:17:15.000 Yeah, that's crazy how they just keep so many off the market.
01:17:18.000 It's brilliant.
01:17:18.000 The way they've done it is brilliant.
01:17:20.000 You can't hate.
01:17:20.000 Isn't it kind of modeled after the gas industry?
01:17:23.000 I mean, I take it that's almost the same principle.
01:17:27.000 Sort of.
01:17:27.000 All these countries, we have so much in reserve, but you know what I mean?
01:17:30.000 But gas is necessary.
01:17:32.000 Diamonds are not necessary.
01:17:33.000 There you go.
01:17:34.000 It's much more gangster.
01:17:35.000 To talk people into buying a shiny rock for no fucking reason, it's much more gangster.
01:17:39.000 Not only talk people into it, but it's like you have to buy it for the woman you love.
01:17:42.000 Not only do you have to, but you have to.
01:17:44.000 That's the genius.
01:17:44.000 It's part of society now.
01:17:46.000 You're expected to buy a diamond ring for an engagement or wedding or whatever.
01:17:51.000 You're expected.
01:17:52.000 That's your dowry.
01:17:53.000 You can't be coming home with no rubies.
01:17:55.000 No, that's your dowry.
01:17:56.000 And it has to be like three months' salary.
01:17:59.000 Yeah, what's up with that?
01:18:00.000 Fucking assholes!
01:18:01.000 That's an asshole slogan.
01:18:02.000 I'll be honest though, I wish I had only spent three months on it.
01:18:08.000 Damn!
01:18:09.000 Where were you then?
01:18:10.000 It's a slogan, man.
01:18:11.000 It's like, have it your way at Burger King, you know?
01:18:13.000 They're just selling shitty cheeseburgers, you know?
01:18:15.000 Don't try to make it out to be more than it is.
01:18:17.000 The crazy thing is, my wife has an official one, engagement ring.
01:18:20.000 Right.
01:18:21.000 I flew her...
01:18:23.000 To Paris.
01:18:24.000 Just kind of like I decided.
01:18:26.000 It was like, no, it's time.
01:18:27.000 Paris?
01:18:28.000 Yeah, yeah, I was on tour.
01:18:29.000 Oh, okay.
01:18:29.000 Well, I flew her like out to Europe.
01:18:30.000 We hit Amsterdam and a few other places, but my plan was Paris, Midnight, Eiffel Tower, movie style.
01:18:36.000 Oh, wow, that's badass.
01:18:37.000 But like, I knew I had a jewelry guy here at home.
01:18:40.000 I'm sure you know who he is.
01:18:42.000 Dana put me on to him.
01:18:43.000 Okay.
01:18:43.000 So he was, he's like, I got you as soon as you get back.
01:18:46.000 But I was like, I got to do this.
01:18:47.000 So I went to a little London Jewelry store and bought a $500 little sliver diamond ring.
01:18:56.000 My wife treasures that just as much as the other one because that's the one I gave her at the thing.
01:18:59.000 Aw, what a sweetie.
01:19:01.000 I'm like, yo, you would have saved me a lot of bread had I known that.
01:19:04.000 Well, I think they like both.
01:19:06.000 Yeah.
01:19:07.000 You know, but it's a weird thing.
01:19:08.000 This one is special because this one came.
01:19:10.000 You know what I mean?
01:19:11.000 This one is, oh, that makes this one special.
01:19:13.000 Right.
01:19:13.000 It's a weird thing that people are willing to spend so much money on some little tiny piece of rock that doesn't really do anything.
01:19:19.000 That was very strange.
01:19:20.000 It was cold.
01:19:21.000 Yeah, a long time ago.
01:19:22.000 Pressurized coal.
01:19:23.000 There was a thing in Wired Magazine years back where there was a guy who was using Russian technology and he was creating diamonds, significant ones, like up to two and three carats, I think.
01:19:32.000 And they were also making different color ones, which are really rare, but they were able to make...
01:19:35.000 I was just going to say, I have an old, like 20-year-old, like I have a canary yellow diamond pinky ring.
01:19:41.000 It's really rare because it's natural, but nowadays it's like you can get them like...
01:19:45.000 That's why all these guys have like rainbow fluorescent, like diamond...
01:19:49.000 Well, that's all fake anyways, 90% of that shit.
01:19:51.000 But here's what's fascinating.
01:19:52.000 I have a great idea for a show, Joe.
01:19:55.000 Okay.
01:19:55.000 It's got to be somebody that can fight, though.
01:19:57.000 Richard Simmons.
01:19:58.000 I'm serious.
01:19:59.000 Does this have anything to do with diamonds?
01:20:00.000 Yes.
01:20:01.000 Everything to do with diamonds.
01:20:02.000 Red carpet.
01:20:04.000 Somebody on the red carpet at all these events.
01:20:06.000 And all these cats that wear this ridiculous jewelry.
01:20:09.000 Primarily rappers.
01:20:10.000 A diamond tester.
01:20:12.000 Oh, that would be so rude.
01:20:14.000 That would be so rude.
01:20:16.000 You'd be blowing people's spots.
01:20:18.000 Got to do it.
01:20:19.000 It's ridiculous, man.
01:20:20.000 There's guys walking around that got like apartment complexes around their neck if they're real.
01:20:24.000 Yeah.
01:20:25.000 And those dudes, if they're real, I got guys that want to get at them.
01:20:28.000 How rude.
01:20:30.000 That is not very Islam of you, sir.
01:20:33.000 That is not very Islam of you, sir.
01:20:34.000 I know guys that want to know who they are and where they are.
01:20:36.000 This is what's fucked up about the machine that makes the diamonds.
01:20:39.000 I've talked to several women who have said this exact same thing.
01:20:42.000 They say that those diamonds wouldn't be as valuable to them because they came from a machine, that they want the kind that comes from the ground.
01:20:49.000 Even if it's just perfectly exactly duplicated.
01:20:54.000 It is a diamond.
01:20:55.000 Like, the only way you can tell that this diamond—and this is a fact.
01:21:00.000 Like, this is not a disputed thing.
01:21:01.000 The only way you can tell is if they tell you.
01:21:03.000 Like, they've taken these diamonds to gemologists, people who work in the diamond trade, the De Beers group, and they've looked at them, and they cannot distinguish these from perfect diamonds.
01:21:13.000 Like, they can make a perfect diamond.
01:21:15.000 So it's a real weird thing, but for women— That's why we lie to women.
01:21:20.000 It's a real weird thing, but for women, that thing is that the one that's more valuable is the one they want.
01:21:26.000 They want the one that costs more.
01:21:27.000 It's a dowry.
01:21:28.000 That's what I'm telling you.
01:21:29.000 They actually want it to be worth more.
01:21:31.000 It's some sort of twisted revenge on the fact that original marriage was basically an exchange of property.
01:21:38.000 Yeah, a long time ago.
01:21:39.000 Daughter property for wife property.
01:21:41.000 The daughter property becomes wife property.
01:21:44.000 What are you giving me?
01:21:45.000 I think they do it for girls as much as they do it for themselves.
01:21:49.000 I think they do it to show other girls to have a big-ass bowling ball on their finger.
01:21:53.000 Look what he got me.
01:21:55.000 That's how my pussy is.
01:21:56.000 Look what he got me.
01:21:57.000 Exactly.
01:21:58.000 You know?
01:21:58.000 They want to let you know they rocked some motherfucker who brought him in a boulder, you know?
01:22:04.000 And it's like a little competition, like who did better, you know?
01:22:08.000 Well, I mean, to the same degree as we all want hot wives.
01:22:11.000 Right.
01:22:11.000 You know what I mean?
01:22:12.000 Exactly.
01:22:12.000 We all want nice cars.
01:22:13.000 Yeah, but you want hot wives to actually fuck them.
01:22:15.000 We want nice cars to get the nice hot wife in it.
01:22:18.000 Before she's the wife, of course.
01:22:21.000 Then you buy her like an SUV or something.
01:22:22.000 The cars I like are not...
01:22:24.000 I don't like comfortable cars.
01:22:26.000 I like cars that are stupid.
01:22:28.000 My wife does not like any of my cars.
01:22:30.000 Yeah, my wife loves to drive my car.
01:22:32.000 My nice, you know, my fun, my toy.
01:22:36.000 Yeah.
01:22:36.000 My toy car.
01:22:37.000 You got that dope Audi spaceship thing.
01:22:39.000 That's one of the most beautiful cars ever created.
01:22:42.000 That Audi R8. It's a masterpiece.
01:22:45.000 A masterpiece in like...
01:22:46.000 If you were a kid, like back in the 1980s and shit, and you look back at the future like, what's a car going to look like in the 2000s?
01:22:52.000 That Audi is it, man.
01:22:55.000 That's a fucking spaceship.
01:22:56.000 A four-wheel drive spaceship with paddle shifters.
01:22:59.000 Yeah, it's fun.
01:22:59.000 It's a dope car, man.
01:23:00.000 You got some stuff yourself.
01:23:02.000 Yeah.
01:23:03.000 My favorite car, I've got a Porsche GT3. GT3 RS. That's a stupid car.
01:23:08.000 Nobody should be able to buy that.
01:23:09.000 You shouldn't be able to buy something like that and just drive it around.
01:23:12.000 It's a race car.
01:23:13.000 It's ridiculous.
01:23:14.000 But you're so connected.
01:23:17.000 You know what I've really been getting into, man, though, recently?
01:23:19.000 I've really been getting into old cars.
01:23:22.000 Like, when I look at, like, there's something to me, like, I went for a long time, I didn't dig old cars, because I had a bad experience with a car I had built, I had a 1970 Barracuda built.
01:23:31.000 Right.
01:23:32.000 But there's something about old cars.
01:23:34.000 If you could get them to run and drive them around, they're so much more satisfying.
01:23:38.000 If you could actually get a 1969 Camaro and drive that motherfucker around, you could actually get it to the point where you could actually drive it, make sure that it stops when you want it to, and make sure the blinkers work and all that bullshit.
01:23:49.000 If you could get it shook down to that point, you're in a goddamn time machine.
01:23:55.000 You're driving around in a working piece of art that sounds like a giant dick roaring as it goes down the street.
01:24:04.000 Yeah, I have one old car I want to build, but I haven't found the right one yet.
01:24:08.000 A 59 El Camino.
01:24:10.000 I haven't found the right situation where I've come across them and people would want too much for them.
01:24:16.000 It'd be in like Iowa.
01:24:18.000 Right.
01:24:19.000 That's a beautiful car.
01:24:20.000 It's another car.
01:24:21.000 It's a goddamn...
01:24:22.000 You're in a different time when you're in that car.
01:24:24.000 It's the first El Camino.
01:24:26.000 Got the skirts on the back wheels.
01:24:28.000 Oh, yeah.
01:24:28.000 You know, I do it kind of like...
01:24:30.000 59 is a good year, too.
01:24:31.000 An interesting year.
01:24:33.000 You know, those cars of the early 50s or the late 50s and the early 60s, some amazing times, man.
01:24:40.000 Like the old Barracuda doesn't have the best shape in the world, but, man, it's got a weird shape representative of a strange time.
01:24:46.000 You know, 1968. Big-ass, huge fuckin' muscle cars.
01:24:50.000 Yeah, they slide all over the place with shitty steering.
01:24:54.000 Like, your car, that car is, like, intimately connected to every move of the steering wheel.
01:25:00.000 Oh, it's on rails, man.
01:25:00.000 Yeah.
01:25:01.000 I remember the day I bought it, I went and picked up my homie, and we were just going around, like, the residential neighborhood, and I was like, watch this.
01:25:07.000 And I was doing, like, 50. And just dead made a right.
01:25:10.000 Like that.
01:25:12.000 And there's a button you press on there where the shocks fill up with fluid so you don't get that.
01:25:17.000 It's crazy, man.
01:25:20.000 Well, it's got an almost perfect 50-50 weight balance because that's a mid-engine car.
01:25:25.000 That means the engine is behind you in your seat.
01:25:28.000 It's a brilliant piece of engineering, man.
01:25:30.000 I was told it's the poor man's Lamborghini.
01:25:32.000 No, that's silly.
01:25:33.000 It's a better car.
01:25:34.000 It's better looking.
01:25:37.000 Lamborghini looks like you're on coke.
01:25:38.000 If you're driving around a Lamborghini...
01:25:40.000 Honestly, between you and me, I couldn't spend...
01:25:44.000 When I went to buy that car, I went to a spot here in Pasadena where there's a bunch of car dealerships.
01:25:49.000 You know, high-end Porsche and all this stuff.
01:25:52.000 I went there and I went looking for an A8. Actually, just a sedan.
01:25:56.000 It's another beautiful car.
01:25:58.000 I had been driving basically 7 Series Beamers for years.
01:26:01.000 And I just wanted to switch it up.
01:26:02.000 And I heard that was the same or similar in that class.
01:26:05.000 So I went and saw it.
01:26:06.000 And the salesman told me, I told him why I like Beamers and why I've been driving them for so long.
01:26:11.000 And he was like, you don't want this car.
01:26:13.000 What?
01:26:13.000 I was like, that's exactly what I said to him.
01:26:16.000 I was like, what do you mean?
01:26:17.000 He's like, nah, this is just saying, he's like, this is a great fucking car.
01:26:19.000 And then I realized I think he knows who I am.
01:26:22.000 And he's like, you know, you don't want this car.
01:26:24.000 And I'm waiting.
01:26:25.000 I'm waiting for the pitch.
01:26:27.000 Like, okay, what car do I want then?
01:26:29.000 And it doesn't come.
01:26:30.000 And he's like, nah, this is just, you know, I was like, well, what do we, I was like, all right, well, cool.
01:26:35.000 I'm going to go next door and look at another car.
01:26:36.000 You know, it was like, there was a Bentley dealership right there.
01:26:38.000 And I went in there and saw that Bentley coupe and it was like, This thing was $250,000.
01:26:43.000 I'd feel like a jerk-off in this car.
01:26:45.000 I'd feel like an extreme jerk.
01:26:49.000 I went into the Jag and the new Jag wasn't out yet.
01:26:53.000 If that Jag would have been out, I might have got that just because I was like, well, you know, and I just wanted a car that day.
01:26:59.000 I've got a thing.
01:27:01.000 I've got to have a car and a truck.
01:27:02.000 You know, that's my thing.
01:27:04.000 There's sometimes more than that, but I gotta have a car and a truck.
01:27:06.000 Right.
01:27:08.000 First world problems.
01:27:09.000 Yeah, first world problems, right?
01:27:12.000 So then, you know, I didn't see that.
01:27:13.000 So I'm walking back to get to my car where I parked.
01:27:15.000 I have to go back through the Audi showroom.
01:27:17.000 And then I see the R8 in the corner, and it's white.
01:27:20.000 And I go in there looking at him, and then the kid comes over, and he's like, yeah, this shit's badass.
01:27:23.000 I was like, yeah, that's dope.
01:27:24.000 He starts talking to me about it.
01:27:25.000 And I'm like, just kind of nonchalantly, you know, in my brain saying, I can't get this fucking.
01:27:32.000 Why?
01:27:32.000 Why are we thinking that?
01:27:33.000 Just because it was one of them things.
01:27:34.000 It wasn't practical at all.
01:27:37.000 There was nothing practical about it.
01:27:38.000 There was no backseat for kids.
01:27:40.000 I was like, nobody's going for this.
01:27:42.000 My accountant's not going to go for this today.
01:27:44.000 They're going to break my balls over it.
01:27:46.000 But then I'm like, ah, it was white.
01:27:47.000 So I was like, I hate white cars, man.
01:27:49.000 I hate them.
01:27:50.000 And he goes, I got a black-on-black carbon fiber one in the back.
01:27:54.000 And I don't even think he thought I was looking.
01:27:57.000 He was just like, you want to see it?
01:27:58.000 I was like, sure, I'll come see it.
01:27:59.000 And I see it, and you see my car.
01:28:02.000 What time of the day was it when you saw it?
01:28:03.000 Like four.
01:28:04.000 Oh, that's even more important.
01:28:06.000 And they pulled it right up, bang.
01:28:07.000 Yeah, where the sun is just slowly starting to make its way across the sky.
01:28:10.000 And the carbon fiber was just popping, and I was just saying, and I was like, oh my God.
01:28:15.000 If you could buy it, why wouldn't you buy it?
01:28:17.000 I'll tell you, the car looked like a sneaker to me.
01:28:19.000 And I'm a sneaker freak.
01:28:20.000 So I was like, oh my god, that looks like it's just a...
01:28:22.000 It reminded me of an Air Jordan somehow.
01:28:24.000 That's so hilarious.
01:28:26.000 And then so I'm like, yo, I was like, let me take it for a spin, man.
01:28:28.000 And they were like, nah, we don't do that.
01:28:30.000 We'll take you for a ride.
01:28:31.000 And he takes me out.
01:28:32.000 What?
01:28:32.000 Yeah.
01:28:33.000 For some reason.
01:28:33.000 This is what they told me.
01:28:34.000 They were like, unless they know that it's basically sold.
01:28:36.000 Unless they're looking at you like, you're buying this car.
01:28:39.000 And I had no inkling yet of buying the car.
01:28:43.000 What you should do, just sit down in the passenger seat, take a CD out, put in, jump around, and point to it and go, that's me, dude.
01:28:50.000 I didn't have to do that.
01:28:51.000 Just let me drive the fucking car.
01:28:52.000 And we go down, and it's back there by the Rose Bowl where it's all canyon.
01:28:55.000 And we get like three blocks from the dealership.
01:28:57.000 He pulls over and he gets out and he's like, get in and drive the fucking car.
01:29:00.000 Smartest thing the kid ever did in his life.
01:29:02.000 That is a good move.
01:29:03.000 He was busting the rules.
01:29:03.000 I think his bosses didn't know shit about me or anything.
01:29:06.000 And I'm tattooed to the gills.
01:29:08.000 I didn't even have jewels.
01:29:09.000 I like how you say that.
01:29:11.000 I didn't even have jewels.
01:29:13.000 Yeah, I didn't have no jewels on.
01:29:14.000 A lot of folks be walking around with jewels on, man.
01:29:15.000 I didn't have my jewels on.
01:29:17.000 Maybe it's a good sales move by him to pretend they won't let you drive it.
01:29:21.000 Either way.
01:29:21.000 And then get outside of town and get, I'm going to get gangster because I know you're a bad motherfucker.
01:29:25.000 Take these keys, man.
01:29:26.000 Or he just didn't tell his bosses, either one of them.
01:29:28.000 Just like, go ahead, drive it.
01:29:30.000 Smartest thing I ever did.
01:29:31.000 I pulled it back into the dealership.
01:29:34.000 Buying this right now.
01:29:35.000 This is my car.
01:29:37.000 And then I'm like, alright, let me show the wifey.
01:29:39.000 And I'm sure the wifey is going to be like, oh, what are you doing?
01:29:42.000 The kids can't sit in that.
01:29:43.000 I text her, I think I'm going to buy this car.
01:29:46.000 And send a picture of it.
01:29:47.000 And I'm waiting and I'm like, yeah, okay, somebody's going to come talk sense to me right now not to buy this car.
01:29:52.000 I wasn't sure, is this a midlife crisis?
01:29:54.000 I was never really a big sports car guy.
01:29:55.000 I was like a nice sedan, like old man kind of thing.
01:29:59.000 And then my wife sends back to the first text and says, you deserve it, baby.
01:30:02.000 Oh, that's beautiful.
01:30:04.000 I was like, fuck, dude, I gotta buy this car.
01:30:05.000 That's beautiful.
01:30:06.000 You do deserve it.
01:30:09.000 That's why I wanted it with my toy.
01:30:10.000 This has maybe been one of the most heartwarming podcasts we've ever done, Brian.
01:30:13.000 That's because of his heart.
01:30:15.000 Beside your pussy-tearing stories.
01:30:18.000 Besides that, everything else has been wonderfully heartwarming.
01:30:20.000 Well, I was glad to find out how this functioning, you know, you could just call upon that whenever you want.
01:30:25.000 The boner pill works.
01:30:27.000 That was awesome.
01:30:29.000 Having a car like that is like driving a ride.
01:30:31.000 You're in a ride every day.
01:30:32.000 And you don't even have to abuse the law.
01:30:34.000 Like, best people don't understand.
01:30:35.000 Just turning corners at normal speed, it's like you're so connected to it.
01:30:38.000 It's fun.
01:30:39.000 And you don't even have to be a nut on the freeway and you get places a lot quicker because you can just dart in between.
01:30:43.000 The control is so amazing on those cars.
01:30:46.000 You know what I mean?
01:30:46.000 You can do things that I would call other people assholes for.
01:30:48.000 That's a mid-engine, four-wheel drive car.
01:30:51.000 That's a crazy car, man.
01:30:52.000 That's a brilliant piece of engine.
01:30:54.000 Yeah, you put it in that sport mode and put those shock absorbers and fill them up with the fluid and that car is on rails, man.
01:30:59.000 That's the crazy thing about those old cars, too, is that they do a lot of adjusting for you.
01:31:03.000 If you fuck up, like, there's traction control that comes in, stability control, and anti-lock brakes.
01:31:08.000 They do a lot of correcting for you.
01:31:11.000 Like, they make it much more safe to drive.
01:31:12.000 Those cars are thinking while you're driving.
01:31:14.000 The thing that bothers me, though, I love that, but the thing that bothers me is that you miss out on this feel when you're driving a steering wheel that doesn't have power steering, and you're hitting brakes that you feel the brakes lock up.
01:31:28.000 You have more of a connection to a car, those old cars.
01:31:31.000 It's not good.
01:31:32.000 It's terrible if you want to be safe.
01:31:34.000 But as far as thrills...
01:31:36.000 I like driving it and driving it fast because every once in a while, even though it's that smooth and cool and everything, you're so low, you feel every bump.
01:31:44.000 And then also every once in a while, you do something wild enough that makes you realize you've got to be scared a little bit.
01:31:49.000 Women will never understand, and dudes who have never driven cars like that will never understand either.
01:31:55.000 That's one of those things.
01:31:56.000 You talk to people and they're like, I don't give a fuck about cars.
01:31:58.000 Man, you say that, but I don't even understand what you're saying.
01:32:02.000 You either haven't driven one of those fucking things, or you can't afford it, so you don't even want to fuck with it, which I understand.
01:32:07.000 They've only ridden in them.
01:32:08.000 They've never drove a car.
01:32:11.000 Yeah, if somebody just came up to you and said, do you want this?
01:32:13.000 You'd be like, fuck yeah.
01:32:14.000 And then you drive in and you'd be like, oh man, this thing is awesome.
01:32:16.000 You would get it then.
01:32:18.000 But that's what happened.
01:32:19.000 First world problems.
01:32:20.000 The guy was like, get in, drive this.
01:32:21.000 He knew.
01:32:21.000 He knew the minute I put my foot on that thing and took a corner, I was going to be like, this car is going home with me.
01:32:28.000 Funny thing is, I remember a guy came up and was like, I want to look at this.
01:32:30.000 I was like, get away from my car.
01:32:32.000 Like before the paperwork was done.
01:32:34.000 Oh, that's funny.
01:32:34.000 So get away from my car, man.
01:32:35.000 That's my car.
01:32:38.000 He's sitting in it and farting.
01:32:40.000 I wasn't having none of that.
01:32:42.000 Yeah.
01:32:42.000 Can't be.
01:32:43.000 That's an impulse buy that you could pull off.
01:32:46.000 You're goddamn Everlast.
01:32:47.000 But if you're a dude who's living in an apartment and you're driving one of those things, you're an asshole.
01:32:51.000 Yeah, that's not a good look.
01:32:51.000 You've got to be real careful about things like that.
01:32:54.000 Because it's just like financing.
01:32:55.000 It just makes it so tempting.
01:32:57.000 It's almost doable.
01:32:59.000 If I just work a couple extra shifts...
01:33:03.000 Washing dishes or whatever the fuck I'm gonna do and slinging drinks.
01:33:06.000 I can just maybe get that Corvette.
01:33:07.000 I don't know.
01:33:08.000 It was $150 and it was still like, ooh.
01:33:11.000 You know what I mean?
01:33:12.000 It made me go...
01:33:13.000 It's real money.
01:33:14.000 I mean, like, you know, a Lambo or something.
01:33:16.000 That's like 250s, you know what I mean?
01:33:17.000 300. I think it's a way better looking car.
01:33:20.000 I like the Audi better.
01:33:21.000 I honestly do.
01:33:21.000 Yeah, it's not.
01:33:23.000 I would never, again, the reason I started talking with it is I would never, I mean, that is about my limit of where I would spend on a car.
01:33:29.000 It's not understated because it's a pretty audacious car, but it's classy.
01:33:34.000 It's beautiful.
01:33:34.000 It's like it's designed well.
01:33:36.000 I'm Iron Man.
01:33:37.000 Dude, come on.
01:33:37.000 Fuck, that's what I'm talking about, bitch!
01:33:39.000 Shit!
01:33:39.000 I'm driving around.
01:33:40.000 That's the one thing still.
01:33:42.000 That car's like three years old now.
01:33:44.000 That's the great thing is the body style ain't going nowhere right now.
01:33:47.000 But kids still.
01:33:49.000 Yeah.
01:33:50.000 They just light up when you drive by some kids.
01:33:53.000 They're like, Iron Man, come on.
01:33:55.000 Some people don't get it.
01:33:56.000 First of all, they get upset that you're talking about some shit they can never afford.
01:34:01.000 Sometimes people get upset about that.
01:34:02.000 They're like, these two rich dudes talking about buying 150,000 cars.
01:34:05.000 Are you fucking kidding me?
01:34:06.000 It's the last thing people want to hear.
01:34:08.000 Oh well.
01:34:09.000 Oh well.
01:34:12.000 Hey, I'm 43 fucking years old, man.
01:34:14.000 I've worked 20 fucking years of my life, man.
01:34:16.000 I hear you.
01:34:16.000 I pay mortgages, many of them.
01:34:18.000 I hear you, man.
01:34:18.000 Some of them don't even belong to family members of mine, man.
01:34:21.000 I can buy myself a...
01:34:23.000 That's what my wife taught me.
01:34:24.000 That's...
01:34:25.000 You deserve that.
01:34:26.000 That's beautiful.
01:34:27.000 You earned it.
01:34:27.000 Yeah.
01:34:28.000 Go get that.
01:34:28.000 I'm a self-indulgent motherfucker.
01:34:31.000 Yeah, I believe in...
01:34:31.000 It's the nature of what we do.
01:34:32.000 Yeah, I believe it's important to be a little self-indulgent, to be a Canadian.
01:34:35.000 I was told by a good friend when I first, like, kind of made it.
01:34:38.000 And I was stressed about this, that, and the other.
01:34:40.000 And he's like, every once in a while, go out and buy yourself something.
01:34:43.000 Whether it's a pair of sneakers or something, just go out and you'll feel better.
01:34:48.000 There's a certain amount of management you have to do with your impulses, but I think it's important to be impulsive on a certain level.
01:34:53.000 It's important to just go with your instincts on shit.
01:34:55.000 Whether it's with people, or with friendships, or with business decisions, or with writing material, or writing stuff.
01:35:00.000 Before my kids, man, I would live to the edge, Joe.
01:35:03.000 I'd live to like a penny in the bank.
01:35:05.000 Because a check always comes.
01:35:06.000 Eventually.
01:35:07.000 I won't lie.
01:35:08.000 I got a good thing going on, man.
01:35:09.000 Just jump around, man.
01:35:10.000 That thing don't go away, man.
01:35:12.000 You know what I mean?
01:35:13.000 I could live like a pretty...
01:35:16.000 See, I've been here so many times and we talked for so many hours.
01:35:19.000 I don't know what I've said to you or not, but I could be that...
01:35:24.000 What's the dude who got caught with the hooker in Hollywood?
01:35:28.000 Grant?
01:35:29.000 Hugh Grant?
01:35:29.000 Hugh Grant.
01:35:30.000 He had a character in a movie that lived off the money of his dad's song.
01:35:33.000 Right.
01:35:34.000 And I could be that guy for the rest of my life and not do a fucking thing.
01:35:38.000 Wow.
01:35:39.000 So I was that guy until I had kids.
01:35:41.000 Now it's like, oh shit, I gotta put some of this away.
01:35:44.000 So, but I mean, I would trick money off, Joe.
01:35:47.000 Like money, money.
01:35:49.000 Walk into bars, buy a bar.
01:35:51.000 Not the whole bar, but you know what I mean?
01:35:52.000 Buy the bar for the night.
01:35:53.000 Like, how much did you make tonight?
01:35:54.000 Three grand?
01:35:55.000 Everybody's drinking free.
01:35:56.000 Here's five.
01:35:57.000 You know what I mean?
01:35:58.000 Stupid shit.
01:35:59.000 I remember one night in Hollywood when I was real young, first came back to L.A. with like a big stack of money in my pocket.
01:36:04.000 Went to this club and this bartender chick was just ignoring the shit out of me.
01:36:09.000 What?
01:36:10.000 It was a packed night, but I was just like, motherfucker, this bitch really ignored me like five times.
01:36:15.000 So I pulled out just a stack of hundreds and I started crumbling them up, just throwing them at her.
01:36:20.000 Throwing them at her.
01:36:21.000 And then she realized there was like $700 on the floor and it came over.
01:36:25.000 Next thing I know, I'm running the bar.
01:36:27.000 That's hilarious, though.
01:36:28.000 Just throwing money at her, just as long as the number was high enough.
01:36:32.000 Crumpling it up and hitting her with it.
01:36:35.000 And she accepted that because it was $100 bills.
01:36:37.000 You can't do that shit with 20s.
01:36:38.000 No, she got very upset that she was getting something thrown at her.
01:36:40.000 And then she went and picked it up and was like, he threw...
01:36:42.000 And it was like, fucking, these are $100 bills.
01:36:46.000 This sounds like a movie in the 1980s, and you would wind up sleeping with her that night, and she would regret it because you were in a band, and you were in a bus, and you were on the road.
01:36:54.000 Let's write it, dude.
01:36:56.000 Throwing hundreds at her face.
01:36:58.000 Let's write it.
01:37:00.000 Yeah, I've bought a bar before.
01:37:02.000 Bought the whole bar around the drinks.
01:37:04.000 I used to kick everybody out of the comedy store, I'd buy the whole audience around the drinks.
01:37:08.000 I used to love doing that.
01:37:10.000 Because the comedy store never had any...
01:37:12.000 No one watches the crowd.
01:37:13.000 Like, if you go to a legitimate comedy club and people start mouthing off, the security guy will come over and tell them, look, you're going to have to leave.
01:37:19.000 You're disrupting the performance.
01:37:20.000 The comedy store, there's no security.
01:37:22.000 I used to go there all the time.
01:37:23.000 Yeah, the people that work there...
01:37:25.000 On Monday nights, we used to go there and just get nuts.
01:37:28.000 Yeah, well, what is the open mic night?
01:37:30.000 Is it Sunday?
01:37:31.000 No.
01:37:31.000 Sunday and Monday.
01:37:32.000 Sunday and Monday.
01:37:32.000 Yeah.
01:37:33.000 There was a night where it was, you were back, like, if you went in there, you'd see a bunch of shit comics, but you were guaranteed almost that some large cat would walk in and do something.
01:37:43.000 Like, it was like Monday.
01:37:44.000 It was like, this was like almost 15. Yeah, back in that, I think it's still probably like that.
01:37:50.000 Eddie Murphy might pop in and do a set.
01:37:53.000 Last week it was Mike Tyson.
01:37:55.000 It's like every week it's somebody.
01:37:56.000 The week before that was Chappelle.
01:37:58.000 And Mike Tyson is actually doing stand-up there, which is crazy.
01:38:01.000 Imagine going to the fucking comedy store and you see Mike Tyson do a set.
01:38:04.000 I want to see somebody heckle him.
01:38:05.000 That's what I want to see.
01:38:06.000 I don't think they're going to.
01:38:08.000 That's what I want to see.
01:38:09.000 Boy, you're taking some real big chances.
01:38:11.000 That's the jackass movie I want to see.
01:38:14.000 Did you see in the Jackasses when they let that Butterbean dude punch him?
01:38:20.000 Knoxville's a nut, man.
01:38:20.000 That guy's bonafide.
01:38:22.000 But I would like to talk to him about how badly that fucked him up.
01:38:26.000 Has he never been in here?
01:38:27.000 No, no.
01:38:27.000 I don't know him.
01:38:27.000 We need to figure out how to get him in here because that would be a good one.
01:38:30.000 I'd be listening to that multiple times.
01:38:31.000 He let Butterbean tee off on him, like full clip.
01:38:34.000 Didn't like a bull break his dick, literally?
01:38:36.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:38:37.000 That was after he was a movie star.
01:38:39.000 Yeah.
01:38:39.000 After he was a movie star, he puts a fucking blindfold on and lets a bull flip him to the air.
01:38:42.000 I love those movies where he's in there with a bull and the scene's over and he's like, is this okay, though?
01:38:45.000 Is this okay?
01:38:46.000 He's crazy.
01:38:47.000 Those guys are ridiculous.
01:38:49.000 But that Butterbean shit was...
01:38:50.000 He just stood in front of Butterbean, but Butterbean just KO'd him.
01:38:53.000 Yeah, there's another one where the party boy guy gets punched by a guy I recognized.
01:38:59.000 An MMA fighter?
01:39:00.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:39:00.000 Yeah, I remember that one.
01:39:01.000 He actually tried to have an MMA fight with a real guy from England.
01:39:05.000 And he fought a Thai boxing chick that whipped the shit out of him, too.
01:39:08.000 Oh, yeah.
01:39:09.000 I think Dunn, right?
01:39:11.000 Dunn fought him, Ryan Dunn.
01:39:12.000 Is he the guy who died in the car accident?
01:39:14.000 Yeah, unfortunately.
01:39:14.000 Oh, man.
01:39:15.000 Yeah, those guys are nuts, man.
01:39:17.000 Those guys are...
01:39:17.000 They're living on the edge, man, you know?
01:39:20.000 Yeah, but letting dudes punch you in the head like that, that is no bueno.
01:39:23.000 I bet you all them dudes, I mean, as sad as that Ryan Dunn thing is, I wonder if, like, in the scheme of the story of life, if that's the better death or if you would have made it to 90 and been boring and decrepit.
01:39:36.000 Because they live that life, you know what I mean?
01:39:37.000 As much as they get paid to do that shit, there was a time when they weren't.
01:39:40.000 I think one of the first things, either Bam, I think it was Knoxville, didn't he shoot himself with a.44 Magnum?
01:39:46.000 He put a bulletproof vest on and had somebody shoot him.
01:39:49.000 I think nobody would shoot him, so I think he wound up doing it himself.
01:39:53.000 Oh my god, are you sure?
01:39:54.000 I'm pretty sure.
01:39:55.000 And that was for like an internet mag when the internet wasn't anything.
01:40:00.000 That's a silly bitch.
01:40:02.000 So you know those guys lived for that charge, that rush.
01:40:06.000 Yeah.
01:40:06.000 Well, the problem is he killed somebody with him.
01:40:08.000 I always equate him to like, you know, who must be nuts and why I think it should be a more explored topic is rodeo clowns.
01:40:18.000 Those dudes who like fucking get the bulls to chase them.
01:40:23.000 What kind of nut do you have to be to be that guy?
01:40:25.000 That's a hard living, man.
01:40:26.000 That's a hard way to pay your bills.
01:40:29.000 It can't be about the money.
01:40:30.000 No.
01:40:31.000 No, it can't be about the money.
01:40:32.000 It's got to be about the money and the thrill.
01:40:34.000 The bull.
01:40:36.000 That's what people were saying about this tornado thing.
01:40:39.000 Sometimes people, they say stupid shit when it comes to why do people live in these tornado areas.
01:40:45.000 They can't fucking leave.
01:40:46.000 They don't have any money.
01:40:48.000 People are born and really poor.
01:40:49.000 They can't afford to live there.
01:40:50.000 Yeah, they barely get by.
01:40:51.000 That's where they grow up.
01:40:52.000 And for the most part, everyone they know is there.
01:40:54.000 It ain't that easy to just move.
01:40:57.000 But it costs fucking money, man.
01:41:00.000 And a lot of people, once you get a job...
01:41:01.000 Well, people will say the same thing when the big one hits here.
01:41:03.000 And it's like, well, how could you live there knowing that was going to eventually come?
01:41:06.000 But my point is, once you get a job as a rodeo clown, that's how you pay your fucking bills.
01:41:09.000 That's how you pay your fucking bills, man.
01:41:11.000 It's hard to jump off that rodeo clown thing where you're getting, you know, $1,500 a week or whatever the fuck those guys are getting and then try to get a job where you get $400 a week.
01:41:19.000 And you miss that other 900 bucks.
01:41:22.000 Absolutely.
01:41:23.000 By the way, the GT3 is what Dunn killed himself in.
01:41:27.000 Yeah, saw it.
01:41:28.000 Yeah, he went around a turn.
01:41:30.000 He missed an exit and went straight into the woods.
01:41:32.000 Yeah, he was going ridiculously fast, drunk.
01:41:35.000 Yeah, that's the part.
01:41:37.000 It's amazing.
01:41:38.000 That's my one.
01:41:39.000 Hey, give me a cab.
01:41:41.000 Yeah.
01:41:42.000 I got a couple hundred bucks.
01:41:43.000 Even if I'm going all the way across town.
01:41:45.000 There was no cabs.
01:41:46.000 He was out in the woods.
01:41:47.000 He was out in the woods of Pennsylvania.
01:41:49.000 Crazy fucks.
01:41:50.000 If you really think about it, it's amazing there's not more crashes because there's alcohols everywhere and people are driving everywhere.
01:41:57.000 It's amazing.
01:41:57.000 I remember something like on Real Sports or something like that where they went and really filmed and checked out a football game and how fucked up they are before and after and that the cops don't really do much.
01:42:08.000 They just let all these people, like thousands of people leave those football games.
01:42:12.000 Inebriated driving their cars.
01:42:14.000 That's a great point.
01:42:15.000 I never even thought about that because how many, what is it, 50,000?
01:42:18.000 What is a football stadium?
01:42:19.000 50 to 70,000.
01:42:20.000 Jesus!
01:42:21.000 So 70,000 people.
01:42:22.000 Let's say 1% of them are drunk.
01:42:24.000 Yeah.
01:42:25.000 My God.
01:42:26.000 Yeah, or concerts, and those people usually have drugs on top of that, like acid.
01:42:31.000 But football in particular.
01:42:32.000 We didn't say baseball.
01:42:33.000 You go to the Dodger Stadium, there's not people fucking in the parking lot fucking raging, barbecuing, and having four cases of beer sitting outside their RV. Yeah.
01:42:42.000 You know what I mean?
01:42:43.000 Football, it's like a fucking hold.
01:42:45.000 They get there in the morning, they barbecue, and they're fucking shit-faced before the first quarter even starts.
01:42:50.000 How much of football is gambling?
01:42:52.000 A lot, right?
01:42:52.000 A lot.
01:42:53.000 A lot.
01:42:53.000 A lot of why people love it is gambling.
01:42:55.000 Gotta be.
01:42:56.000 What are people in the Midwest?
01:42:57.000 Is there bookies all over the place?
01:42:59.000 Is that what it is?
01:43:00.000 Like secret bookies?
01:43:01.000 I couldn't tell you, but there must be.
01:43:02.000 There's bookies.
01:43:02.000 I can give you five bookies right now.
01:43:04.000 How dare you?
01:43:06.000 This is a respectable program, sir.
01:43:08.000 Those bookies need to pay their taxes.
01:43:10.000 That's what I say.
01:43:10.000 My bookies do pay their taxes.
01:43:13.000 From St. Bart's.
01:43:15.000 Or something like that.
01:43:16.000 That's a lot of those dudes that were, you know, they're just starting to allow poker again in the United States.
01:43:22.000 Internet poker.
01:43:22.000 They're doing it in Nevada.
01:43:23.000 And the way it works is you have to be in Nevada when you get online.
01:43:28.000 They have to do it and actually gamble from Nevada.
01:43:30.000 But as long as you do it from Nevada, it's legal.
01:43:33.000 Which is a strange thing, but you can play ultimate poker.
01:43:36.000 So none of these poker, hundreds of poker sites I hear about, they're just free sites then?
01:43:39.000 Well, they're either free sites or they're illegal sites.
01:43:41.000 And they were fine for a while.
01:43:42.000 Well, I mean, how could you be illegal and be like, you know, I'm talking about ones I would have heard of are all over the television and stuff like that.
01:43:48.000 Yeah, those are the free ones.
01:43:49.000 But some of those guys got in trouble for doing illegal shit too.
01:43:52.000 There was some famous ones that got in trouble.
01:43:54.000 But the majority of the people who were involved in it, when it was making billions of dollars, they had to flee.
01:44:00.000 And they all had to go to, like, the Canary Islands and shit.
01:44:03.000 The Caymans.
01:44:04.000 Yeah, you know, what's that one?
01:44:06.000 Not Belize, but...
01:44:09.000 Costa Rica.
01:44:10.000 Costa Rica is a lot of them in Costa Rica, too.
01:44:12.000 These poor guys.
01:44:13.000 I mean, they're essentially, they took their business away with law.
01:44:17.000 People were spending money, and people were gambling and doing what they want to do with their money, and these guys were collecting millions.
01:44:24.000 They were making millions a day.
01:44:25.000 And then also, they came around with a new law that said, you know what, bitches?
01:44:29.000 We're not happy with you guys getting rich that easy.
01:44:32.000 So...
01:44:34.000 You know, you've leeched the profits.
01:44:36.000 They essentially stop progress.
01:44:37.000 They stop the ability to gamble on the internet, even though it's sort of a weird form of progress.
01:44:41.000 It's still progress in a freedom sense.
01:44:43.000 It allows you to do with your money things that were unavailable before.
01:44:46.000 Whether or not you want gambling to be legal, I want you to be able to do whatever the fuck you want to do.
01:44:50.000 I don't want to have any control over your life because I don't want you to have any control over mine.
01:44:53.000 So as soon as we allow people to come in and say, you can't gamble on the internet, like, Why are you fucking talking about?
01:44:59.000 Why would you tell me what I can do with my 20 bucks?
01:45:02.000 Why do you give a fuck?
01:45:03.000 Why is this even a conversation?
01:45:04.000 If you need to get some taxes out of them...
01:45:06.000 Well, it's not sanctioned gambling like the lottery.
01:45:08.000 It should be sanctioned.
01:45:09.000 It should be sanctioned.
01:45:09.000 It should all be taxable.
01:45:11.000 But that's the point.
01:45:12.000 That's what they're doing now.
01:45:14.000 They're opening it up.
01:45:15.000 I'm sure they're getting their rake of that.
01:45:17.000 Yeah, and I'm sure the local casinos probably weren't very happy with it either.
01:45:20.000 You know, the card casinos that were making a lot of money having people come in and play poker, all of a sudden you can be naked playing poker at home.
01:45:27.000 Yeah, there's a couple right down here, like Bell Gardens and a few places.
01:45:30.000 Yeah, so I'm sure those people must have lost money.
01:45:33.000 There has to be some reasons why they would limit your freedom to gamble.
01:45:37.000 But ultimately, it's just freedom.
01:45:38.000 The crazy thing to me is the explosion of poker in the last, let's say, 8 to 10 years.
01:45:42.000 It's TV. TV wrote people in.
01:45:45.000 That whole camera thing is totally...
01:45:46.000 Isn't that amazing?
01:45:47.000 Bizarre.
01:45:47.000 It just makes me crazy.
01:45:49.000 And it's also TV combined with the, that's the new American dream.
01:45:53.000 That quick, easy, not only buck, but you're super famous and you win the World Series of Poker and you're the fucking man.
01:45:59.000 Mike Goldberg just interviewed some dude on the last UFC and he won $18 million in a poker tournament.
01:46:07.000 Jeez.
01:46:09.000 And you're fighting?
01:46:11.000 What are you doing fighting?
01:46:13.000 Nobody makes that much money in a fight.
01:46:15.000 I mean, maybe Floyd Mayweather does, but that's about it as far as human beings.
01:46:18.000 That is an insane amount of money.
01:46:20.000 $18 million in a fucking poker tournament.
01:46:22.000 They make real money.
01:46:24.000 Because people love it.
01:46:25.000 If you get enough people that love it and they're willing to throw their chips in...
01:46:28.000 I mean, how many people had to be in that for you to win?
01:46:30.000 I mean, that's a 10,000 people tournament or something.
01:46:33.000 I think it's an expensive buy-in, too.
01:46:35.000 Because those guys are worth so much money, they'll do buy-ins.
01:46:38.000 That big World Series one, the big one in Vegas, they get up to like 8,000 people now starting those things, man.
01:46:43.000 You know, we should have Bruce Buffer come on and explain that shit for us.
01:46:46.000 $10,000 buy-ins.
01:46:47.000 I've been meaning to get Bruce Buffer on here anyway.
01:46:50.000 We'll have him come in here and explain that shit to us because Bruce Buffer is like a serious poker player.
01:46:54.000 Is that right?
01:46:54.000 Yeah, he's legit.
01:46:55.000 He goes to the World Series of Poker.
01:46:57.000 He makes it to the final table.
01:46:58.000 He's legit.
01:46:59.000 Bruce Buffer's won tournaments and shit.
01:47:00.000 He wins.
01:47:02.000 Poker's a tricky game, man.
01:47:03.000 Ari Shafir, he used to make a living doing poker.
01:47:06.000 When everything sucked for him as a comedian...
01:47:07.000 I think I remember seeing him on a few shows.
01:47:10.000 Dude, Ari Shafir, when things were sucking for him as a comedian, he was making $30,000 a year playing poker.
01:47:15.000 Just go into the local casinos, win tournaments, because he's smart.
01:47:18.000 Because he's a smart dude and he can calculate shit.
01:47:20.000 He knows how to play the game and he's disciplined.
01:47:22.000 And he would just make cash.
01:47:24.000 And you've got to be able to keep your face stoned to a certain degree.
01:47:29.000 Yes, yeah.
01:47:30.000 That's a big deal.
01:47:30.000 Yeah, there's something in not giving it up.
01:47:32.000 Or avoid any kind of psychological giveaway.
01:47:35.000 That's what I like watching, how that stuff works.
01:47:39.000 Yeah, I wonder if you play all the time.
01:47:42.000 The math is finite.
01:47:43.000 Most people can learn that.
01:47:44.000 That's where the talent really comes in, is that whole psychological side.
01:47:48.000 I mean, knowing math is talented, but you know what I'm getting at.
01:47:51.000 It's the more artistic part of it.
01:47:53.000 I wonder if you play it all the time, if you get really good at just smelling bullshit.
01:47:58.000 You get good at everything.
01:47:59.000 You would think.
01:48:00.000 Yeah, I mean, people get better at all the subtle nuances of anything they attempt, whether it's stand-up comedy or playing music or anything.
01:48:07.000 I would imagine that if you interact with people playing a card game for high stakes for a long period of time, you'd probably smell some shit on people when they were full of shit.
01:48:15.000 Just smell something.
01:48:17.000 Little intangible green light.
01:48:20.000 Or not.
01:48:21.000 Or just kid yourself.
01:48:22.000 And blow your fat water cash.
01:48:24.000 You would naturally just get a sense of that movie, True Romance, where Christopher Walken's talking about the tells.
01:48:31.000 There's 19 tells.
01:48:32.000 You would think you would at least have more of a crinkled brow.
01:48:36.000 Because there's people that say psychologically, If you're lying, you look a certain way.
01:48:41.000 Or if you're trying to recall something, you look a different way.
01:48:43.000 Like the way your brain works.
01:48:44.000 You can figure out some of that stuff legitimately.
01:48:48.000 And when people know that, I don't trust them.
01:48:50.000 From then on, you know the moves.
01:48:51.000 You know it's left or right.
01:48:53.000 And you can cheat.
01:48:53.000 Yeah, you cheat motherfucker looking up to your left when you know you should be looking down to your right.
01:48:58.000 Whichever one that one is.
01:48:59.000 It only works if you're amongst unsuspecting people.
01:49:02.000 Nobody can have knowledge that you have that.
01:49:05.000 I think everybody's scared of losing privacy, and I agree.
01:49:10.000 Someone shouldn't be able to access your privacy random.
01:49:13.000 Someone shouldn't be able to access your email or see what's in your computer.
01:49:16.000 But I do believe that eventually it's going to be a good thing for the world to have no privacy.
01:49:21.000 It sounds stupid, but I think that a lot of the problems that we have is that you can get away with shit.
01:49:26.000 A lot of the problems that we have with as far as...
01:49:29.000 Committing crimes, doing bad deeds to people, is that people can't literally read each other's minds.
01:49:34.000 I think that's ultimately where we're going.
01:49:36.000 I think we're going to be able...
01:49:37.000 There's going to be no lying anymore.
01:49:38.000 I think we're going to read.
01:49:39.000 There's also one other side of it too.
01:49:40.000 I think a lot of people's emotional and problems stuff is not realizing that everybody's exactly like you.
01:49:46.000 Even though you think you're a thing or whatever's wrong with you or whatever you think or that crazy whatever thing that happens to you is only happening to you and you're embarrassed.
01:49:53.000 There's a lot of things like that that people don't realize every single body has experienced on some level.
01:49:58.000 Yeah.
01:49:59.000 Insecurity.
01:50:00.000 You're talking about a one consciousness almost.
01:50:03.000 A single consciousness.
01:50:05.000 Except for the crazy people.
01:50:06.000 That's a problem.
01:50:07.000 Well, you can eliminate them easier.
01:50:08.000 You gotta find them and kill them.
01:50:10.000 But who's willing to make that call?
01:50:12.000 You can nullify them.
01:50:14.000 Nullify them?
01:50:14.000 Pen them up.
01:50:15.000 Box them up.
01:50:16.000 But then they get out and it becomes a goddamn Stephen King movie.
01:50:18.000 Yeah, well, it's going somewhere someday.
01:50:21.000 Is it?
01:50:22.000 Something's gonna happen.
01:50:25.000 You're a thoughtful guy.
01:50:26.000 When you look at society and you look at shit like what's going down in Turkey and the clampdown on the internet where the government's worried about people being able to rise and the Second Amendment debates and all the shit that's going on.
01:50:38.000 How do you see this fucking thing turning out when you look at our world?
01:50:44.000 I don't think a lot of it matters, man.
01:50:46.000 You don't think so?
01:50:48.000 I just think eventually, you know what I mean?
01:50:51.000 The lights are going to go out.
01:50:53.000 For you.
01:50:53.000 For everybody.
01:50:54.000 For everybody.
01:50:55.000 I'm talking about literally, not our lives.
01:50:57.000 I'm talking about sooner or later, a lot of this is going to go wrong.
01:51:00.000 I don't know how much fuel...
01:51:01.000 I mean, I'm not an expert, but the fuels that we use so rapidly right now can't be infinite.
01:51:09.000 You want to hear something interesting?
01:51:09.000 I talked to a weather scientist, and he told me that even if we chopped down every tree in the world, we'd still have a couple million years of air.
01:51:18.000 Do you know that?
01:51:19.000 Everybody's worried about losing all the air.
01:51:20.000 What are we going to do?
01:51:22.000 Quality too, you know what I mean?
01:51:24.000 It's true.
01:51:25.000 But the world is far more durable than we pretend it is.
01:51:28.000 I'm not talking about the world or the planet.
01:51:30.000 I'm talking about our creations within it.
01:51:32.000 You know what I mean?
01:51:32.000 And our use of...
01:51:33.000 Again, I just said, I'm no expert, but fossil fuels cannot be infinite.
01:51:39.000 No, it can't.
01:51:40.000 So eventually, the lights are going to go out and we're all going to be swamp people.
01:51:44.000 That's funny because I don't think so.
01:51:46.000 I think that I would have never figured out how to make...
01:51:48.000 You want to know honestly?
01:51:49.000 That's what I hope.
01:51:49.000 I would have never figured out how to make a regular engine and I'm never going to figure out how to make a fucking electric engine either.
01:51:54.000 I can shoot my gun and I can reload bullets.
01:51:57.000 For sure.
01:51:57.000 For sure there's some people way smarter than me that are looking at all these problems and the same sort of genius that allowed people to get to the point where we have flying metal tubes that take you from New York to Paris in five hours.
01:52:08.000 You're going to have the same kind of shit with everything.
01:52:12.000 People are going to eventually innovate past where we're at.
01:52:15.000 I have a full belief in that.
01:52:17.000 But the lights are going to go out one day.
01:52:19.000 I don't think so.
01:52:20.000 I think it's going to change, but I don't think the lights are going to go out.
01:52:23.000 They might go out for a little while and then come back on.
01:52:26.000 I mean, at any point in time, there could be a series of colossal disasters, natural disasters.
01:52:31.000 And we just look at the history of the world that we know about.
01:52:33.000 For sure, there's been some, at least, I think there's four or five extinction events that have been marked throughout history that we know of right now.
01:52:41.000 And pretending we know everything that happened over the Four point whatever billion years of the Earth's time, at this point, there's a lot of shit they don't know.
01:52:50.000 Are we getting into ancient aliens again?
01:52:52.000 No.
01:52:53.000 Getting into the fact that people have been lucky that we made it to this point, but we could go just like the dinosaur went.
01:52:59.000 It's really easy.
01:53:00.000 That's my point.
01:53:01.000 Fuck yeah.
01:53:02.000 But that doesn't...
01:53:03.000 I mean, will another society eventually rise up?
01:53:05.000 Yeah, okay, okay, whatever.
01:53:07.000 But as far as I'm concerned, I got my daily problems, I don't...
01:53:11.000 I don't...
01:53:11.000 The government and the clamp down on the internet, fuck the internet.
01:53:14.000 I honestly told...
01:53:15.000 I've said many, many times, if I could get rid of one thing, like, I think for every great thing the internet's done, there's a thousand slimy, scummy, fucking, awful, rotten things about it.
01:53:25.000 Wow, that's interesting.
01:53:26.000 I look at it completely opposite.
01:53:27.000 I think for every 100 things it does.
01:53:28.000 Well, I mean, it changed my whole...
01:53:30.000 You know what I mean?
01:53:30.000 It changed the trajectory of a whole business that, you know, I depended on, too.
01:53:34.000 You know what I mean?
01:53:34.000 I think the internet's...
01:53:35.000 Oh, okay.
01:53:35.000 Took the carpet out from under...
01:53:36.000 It enabled thievery on levels that, you know, I never would have imagined in, like, 1995. Thievery meaning people illegally downloaded songs.
01:53:45.000 Yeah, not only that, okay, and then let's just go with the, you know, small things like, you know, back, you know, maybe in the 90s, if there was a guy who liked fucking pigs, you know what I mean, he'd be a lone fucking wolf somewhere that, you know, would never really act on it or anything.
01:53:58.000 Now there's probably, you could probably find a website dedicated to it.
01:54:01.000 Yeah, pigfucker.com.
01:54:02.000 Oh, most certainly.
01:54:03.000 These people gather and they fuck pigs.
01:54:05.000 That's bad?
01:54:06.000 That's bad for, yeah.
01:54:07.000 Why is it okay to eat pigs, but it's not okay to fuck them?
01:54:09.000 That's what I want to know.
01:54:11.000 I mean, I feel like that doesn't make any sense.
01:54:14.000 I love you, dude.
01:54:15.000 Podcast, this might be over after.
01:54:18.000 I don't feel like...
01:54:19.000 I don't know if I have any response to that.
01:54:21.000 Legitimately, I don't feel like that makes any sense.
01:54:23.000 I feel like if you're, you know, if you will...
01:54:26.000 Okay, why can't we fuck people and eating them's wrong?
01:54:29.000 Well, it's not wrong if you're trapped, like a car crashed in the Andes Mountains.
01:54:33.000 Slaughtering a person and just eating a person...
01:54:35.000 Well, people have done it.
01:54:37.000 I mean, the whole Bonner party, those people that got stuck in the Rockies, people have done it.
01:54:41.000 And it's a notoriously fucking bad story.
01:54:45.000 It's not cool.
01:54:46.000 Yeah, it's not like things you should do on a regular basis.
01:54:50.000 Same with fucking pigs.
01:54:51.000 Let's just apply the same logic.
01:54:52.000 Let's apply the same logic.
01:54:53.000 How about you're stuck on an island and there's no people to fuck, but you got a pig.
01:54:57.000 And they come back after all these years and say, hey man, what were you doing?
01:55:00.000 Well, I raised pigs and I killed them for food.
01:55:03.000 Okay, cool.
01:55:04.000 What would you do for sex?
01:55:05.000 You just beat off a lot?
01:55:06.000 Nah, just fuck my pigs.
01:55:08.000 They'd be like, whoa, uncool.
01:55:10.000 Yeah, uncool.
01:55:11.000 Not cool.
01:55:11.000 You did something.
01:55:12.000 You should have just kept that to yourself, man.
01:55:14.000 You know what I mean?
01:55:15.000 That's really what it is.
01:55:18.000 Would it be worse if he made love to the pig?
01:55:20.000 I don't think either one is bad.
01:55:21.000 I think, honestly, if you're going to kill an animal, fucking it.
01:55:24.000 As long as you don't, like...
01:55:25.000 Fuck it to death.
01:55:26.000 That's kind of a crazy way to kill something.
01:55:28.000 And would you go anal with the pig or vagina?
01:55:31.000 You'd have to see the setup.
01:55:32.000 You'd have to see what you're dealing with.
01:55:34.000 Condom, no condom.
01:55:35.000 There's a lot of questions.
01:55:36.000 Internal organ-wise, pigs are supposed to be very similar to us.
01:55:40.000 You definitely don't want to go anal without a little clean-up first.
01:55:43.000 You get some pig shit through the tip of your dick, for sure.
01:55:46.000 That could be a problem.
01:55:47.000 Well, I'm not sure if this is correct, but isn't there a pig's extra...
01:55:51.000 Like, his entire excretory system is basically expelling waste.
01:55:59.000 Like, the sweat to a certain degree is...
01:56:01.000 Oh, really?
01:56:02.000 Oh, that makes sense.
01:56:03.000 Yeah.
01:56:04.000 Pigs are disgusting.
01:56:05.000 They're strange animals, man.
01:56:06.000 They're smart as fuck, though.
01:56:07.000 That's one thing that's weird about killing pigs.
01:56:09.000 They're smart, man.
01:56:10.000 They're smarter than dogs.
01:56:11.000 They know what's going on.
01:56:12.000 Well, you know, the whole animal farm thing, man.
01:56:15.000 I still have that book, by the way.
01:56:17.000 I can make a pig squirt.
01:56:18.000 You ever see that documentary, My Brother's Keeper?
01:56:21.000 It's a documentary about these dudes who were like, they were like a little slow, and they lived on a farm, and one of them I think was accused of murder, and it was like real weird whether or not they could defend themselves in court, whether they could, you know, they were a little mentally challenged, but they were running this farm, and there's a scene in the farm where he has to kill a pig,
01:56:38.000 and he pulls out the shotgun, and the pig goes, fuck!
01:56:41.000 And the pig just scrambles left and right.
01:56:44.000 That pig knows exactly what the fuck is going on.
01:56:46.000 The pig saw the shotgun.
01:56:48.000 And I saw that.
01:56:49.000 And that kept me from eating bacon or any pig for like at least...
01:56:52.000 Two days.
01:56:52.000 It was like a month.
01:56:54.000 It was a silent month.
01:56:55.000 For a month I was like, oh man, I think I'm not going to need anything that's smart.
01:57:00.000 God, I love bacon.
01:57:02.000 Delicious.
01:57:03.000 Then I found out what cunts pigs are.
01:57:05.000 You fall into, if you're like feeding pigs and you fall in there, they'll eat you.
01:57:08.000 That's like number one way that farmers die.
01:57:11.000 It was like one of those Dr. Baden autopsy things where they did this whole thing on this lady that had a pig farm and just murder husbands and throw their bodies in the pit.
01:57:19.000 That was a great show.
01:57:21.000 Yeah.
01:57:21.000 That guy was the best, that Dr. Baden.
01:57:24.000 Yeah, I used to love it.
01:57:25.000 The HBO Autography Show.
01:57:26.000 Boy, that challenged your view of the world before the internet.
01:57:30.000 Before the internet, that was the first freak-out show, where you realize how crazy people are.
01:57:35.000 One dude, he took a woman, and she died.
01:57:38.000 She was like a very beautiful woman, and she died.
01:57:40.000 The doll.
01:57:40.000 Yeah, he made a doll out of her and put a little rubber hole down where her vagina was so he could fuck her, covered with cases and cases of perfume because she was rotting.
01:57:50.000 And he would fix parts of her with wax.
01:57:52.000 Yeah, and wasn't he like a doctor or some shit?
01:57:54.000 Yeah, he was like a doctor, I remember.
01:57:55.000 Oh, he was so in love with her that he took her body.
01:57:59.000 It was his wife, wasn't it?
01:57:59.000 I don't remember.
01:58:00.000 It was either his wife or it might have been his ex-wife.
01:58:03.000 I don't remember what it was, but he took her.
01:58:05.000 It might have been just a patient, but he took her and he was just fucking her.
01:58:08.000 Kept her in his room for years.
01:58:10.000 Rotting body.
01:58:11.000 You need to know that, man.
01:58:13.000 We need to know that dude's out there.
01:58:14.000 Yeah.
01:58:15.000 It's important.
01:58:16.000 You could have a really distorted view of the world.
01:58:18.000 We'll know where all those dudes are when that single consciousness comes around.
01:58:21.000 It's coming.
01:58:22.000 We'll all be like, ew.
01:58:24.000 Ew.
01:58:28.000 Don't you think with what you're talking about, with people realizing that one consciousness, realizing that do unto others as you would have them do to you, you lead a healthy, happy life.
01:58:39.000 We're all calming down and connecting in this thing.
01:58:42.000 It's all building toward this crescendo.
01:58:44.000 And if it reaches that one state where all of a sudden, whether it's a technology or whether it's just the human body evolving to a next level, I mean, maybe that's a few generations away.
01:58:53.000 I mean, who the fuck knows?
01:58:54.000 But that's what I feel like.
01:58:56.000 The one thing that's going to stop all the bullshit is when everybody knows the bullshit.
01:59:00.000 You think we're going to get to the big brain stage?
01:59:01.000 You think we're going to get to that?
01:59:02.000 I think we're going to get to a connectivity very similar to the internet, but it's going to be in your own brain.
01:59:07.000 That's what I think.
01:59:07.000 I think the connectivity of the internet gives you through social media, I think it's almost like sticking your finger through like, you know, you can't get to the outside, but you can like poke your finger through this like gelatinous sort of shield that separates the two worlds.
01:59:23.000 You can't quite break through.
01:59:24.000 But it's close.
01:59:25.000 The internet is like you're exchanging information, it's free.
01:59:28.000 It's a lot similar to the hole cut into the girl right there.
01:59:32.000 Similar.
01:59:33.000 We're using computers in order, you know, we're sending like ones and zeros to each other and we're connecting, but we're doing all this through this artificial shit.
01:59:40.000 I think eventually this artificial shit, this is just a bridge to some sort of technological freedom.
01:59:45.000 This is a bridge towards some next step.
01:59:47.000 Are you saying something will be implanted within us?
01:59:50.000 It could be that.
01:59:51.000 I'm not game for that.
01:59:52.000 I'm going to this...
01:59:53.000 I'm not going that way.
01:59:54.000 You don't have to.
01:59:55.000 You can just die off like the fucking, you know, like all the other...
01:59:58.000 Nothing wrong with that, man.
01:59:59.000 There's a romantic thing to that, to go out Johnny Cash style.
02:00:02.000 All old, singing Hurt, you know?
02:00:05.000 Love it.
02:00:05.000 Fuck yeah!
02:00:06.000 There's nothing wrong with that.
02:00:07.000 I mean, we all go to sleep.
02:00:08.000 No, I just know the fucking history of corporations and the world and shit, and I'm not letting anybody put that anymore.
02:00:14.000 That's the question, though.
02:00:15.000 Does that eliminate all the bullshit that corporations do?
02:00:19.000 When everyone's accountable for their own actions, is that the thing...
02:00:21.000 Well, who's going to manufacture the thing that goes in your brain?
02:00:23.000 Well, I mean, maybe it's inevitable progress.
02:00:25.000 Maybe it's the inevitable progression of where technology is headed.
02:00:28.000 I hope so, Joe.
02:00:29.000 You have such a great outlook, man.
02:00:30.000 I do, occasionally.
02:00:32.000 I'm way too suspicious of people.
02:00:33.000 I know the true nature of a lot of motherfucking people.
02:00:38.000 That's true, but don't you know great people as well?
02:00:41.000 Just the fact that those beautiful people exist.
02:00:43.000 I know enough beautiful people, beautiful personalities, friendly, healthy, happy people.
02:00:49.000 I know enough of them now to be convinced that it's not like an aberration.
02:00:53.000 There's a whole population of like-minded, happy people out there.
02:00:57.000 The problem is they're separated from each other.
02:01:00.000 That's not necessarily true.
02:01:02.000 Even the evil people themselves are surrounded by other evil people.
02:01:05.000 That's a big issue with evil people.
02:01:06.000 You're growing up around evil people.
02:01:08.000 You respond to your environment.
02:01:09.000 You imitate your atmosphere.
02:01:10.000 You're a cunt.
02:01:11.000 And sometimes it's not even your own fault.
02:01:13.000 You're just stuck in a shit spot with a douchebag dad and a mother who's a fucking cocaine addict or whatever.
02:01:18.000 Fill in the blank with your own troubles and dilemmas.
02:01:21.000 But I think that ultimately there's so many cool people and so many nice people and people that want other people to be happy that I just feel like that's the trend.
02:01:29.000 I'm going to live in that world then.
02:01:30.000 It's the world we should all live in.
02:01:32.000 It's not impossible.
02:01:34.000 The fact that there's so many of them means it's not impossible.
02:01:38.000 At what point do I have to give up my guns?
02:01:40.000 You don't have to give up shit.
02:01:42.000 I'm not giving up.
02:01:43.000 I don't think you should give up guns.
02:01:45.000 I think it's ridiculous.
02:01:46.000 I don't think you should give up your car either.
02:01:47.000 I don't think you should give up your ability to buy lighter fluid.
02:01:50.000 I don't think you should give up your ability to buy a fucking helicopter.
02:01:54.000 I don't think you should limit your ability to do anything.
02:01:56.000 I think freedom is the most important thing.
02:01:58.000 And then be responsible for your actions.
02:02:00.000 But stop people from doing cunty shit by making them aware of one consciousness.
02:02:05.000 Making them aware that we all are experiencing this together.
02:02:08.000 And if you fuck with people, if you send out some bad shit, that bad shit comes back to you too.
02:02:13.000 It's possible.
02:02:14.000 I met so many nice people.
02:02:16.000 I totally believe that.
02:02:17.000 It just, it needs to be, like when you were talking about Islam and about the messages of Islam, they rang true in your mind and they made sense to you and you felt like it was this conglomeration of wisdom, so to say, right?
02:02:30.000 Yeah, a lot of it still does.
02:02:31.000 Yeah, and it still, it should.
02:02:32.000 I think that we're just missing a new version of that.
02:02:36.000 That's all it is.
02:02:37.000 It's not that people...
02:02:38.000 I could feel that.
02:02:39.000 And I think that with technology at the helm, I think it's possible for that to influence it as well.
02:02:45.000 I think the connectivity that we all share and the inevitable ability to exchange information freely, without a computer, without anything, just connect to people freely.
02:02:55.000 We could have never pictured this.
02:02:57.000 No one in George Washington's time saw a laptop coming.
02:03:00.000 There's no way.
02:03:02.000 And I think that we have no fucking idea what's waiting around the corner in a hundred years.
02:03:07.000 I don't think we can.
02:03:08.000 But I think if you look at where it's going, it's going towards just a full separation.
02:03:12.000 I speculate closer to 20 and 30 years.
02:03:14.000 You think so?
02:03:15.000 No, I don't think what you're saying is going to happen in there.
02:03:17.000 And I'm saying that's my...
02:03:19.000 I don't speculate out farther than that because I don't expect to live longer than that.
02:03:23.000 You know, there's part of me that thinks it's fascinating that, like, what if society got, like, just close to enlightenment?
02:03:29.000 Just close.
02:03:30.000 Like, almost there.
02:03:31.000 Like, breakthrough technology, walls dissolving every second, and then an asteroid.
02:03:36.000 Boom!
02:03:38.000 And we have to start all over again.
02:03:40.000 That's exactly.
02:03:42.000 You brought me right back to the lights going out.
02:03:45.000 Well, you paint with a dark brush, my brother.
02:03:47.000 That's where I come from.
02:03:48.000 You paint with a dark brush.
02:03:49.000 That's why I love you.
02:03:49.000 But I like your world.
02:03:51.000 Yeah.
02:03:51.000 Well, my world is your world.
02:03:53.000 We exist in the same space.
02:03:55.000 Well, I like the window you're looking through your world out of.
02:03:58.000 I need to get me one.
02:04:00.000 I think doing this podcast has helped shape that window.
02:04:03.000 You know, that window, those ideas I've always sort of had somewhere in the back of my mind and then slowly reinforced by other people that I met that shared or an even more evolved version of that idea.
02:04:13.000 But doing this podcast and running into so many nice people, so many cool people.
02:04:16.000 So many people that are just genuinely, like, happy.
02:04:19.000 And, like, if you were my neighbor, you know, that would be a beautiful thing.
02:04:23.000 Like, if you were my neighbor and he was one of my other neighbors, I would want him, like, two houses down.
02:04:28.000 So I bet that motherfucker's a screamer.
02:04:29.000 But you know what I'm saying?
02:04:30.000 Like, to have a real community like that, if you really look at it, like, if everybody was, like, your favorite people, boy, the world would be fucking amazing.
02:04:39.000 The world would just be a bunch of people being friendly with each other, exchanging things, doing work, doing whatever the fuck you have to do.
02:04:46.000 You pay me for this and I do that for you.
02:04:47.000 But if everybody was – there's got to be a way where at least on a mass scale that can be the majority of people.
02:04:56.000 I don't see that that's not possible.
02:04:58.000 I don't think it's inhibited by finances.
02:05:00.000 I don't think it's inhibited by resources.
02:05:02.000 I think it's inhibited by people understanding that they can live a different kind of life.
02:05:07.000 And I think that's where something like a guy like you talking out about it and a guy like you expressing your ideas.
02:05:13.000 Like some kid right now who's a big Everlast fan is in his car and he's, you know, listening to this and he's hearing your take on things and maybe he'll pick up a book on religion.
02:05:21.000 Maybe he'll pick up a book on philosophy.
02:05:23.000 Maybe he'll, you know, maybe he'll stop one pattern of thinking and introduce himself to a couple other patterns and those in turn will shape the future of his thinking.
02:05:32.000 Well, don't be like me.
02:05:34.000 That's bullshit!
02:05:35.000 But if you weren't you, you wouldn't be making this beautiful, dark music, man.
02:05:43.000 There's something I love about that, man.
02:05:45.000 What was the song that you played?
02:05:49.000 The last time you were here, how many different songs did you play?
02:05:52.000 The American Girl?
02:05:53.000 Miss America?
02:05:54.000 Miss America?
02:05:55.000 Is that it?
02:05:56.000 Little Miss America.
02:05:56.000 Little Miss America.
02:05:57.000 Goddamn, son.
02:05:58.000 I can't think like that.
02:06:00.000 I'll start crying.
02:06:01.000 I could never write something like that.
02:06:03.000 I would just start crying.
02:06:04.000 But I love hearing it.
02:06:06.000 That's kind of where I take it a lot, is what makes me...
02:06:08.000 When I'm writing it, after it's written and I can perform it, I don't get as emotional, but...
02:06:15.000 That's what I try to do.
02:06:16.000 I try to make myself upset a little bit.
02:06:18.000 Feel something.
02:06:20.000 Because I'm hard, honestly.
02:06:22.000 I'm hard to get to react.
02:06:26.000 You're a big teddy bear.
02:06:27.000 Probably truth, but it's hard to get past the fur.
02:06:31.000 Well, you just dealt with a lot of douchebags.
02:06:33.000 It's normal.
02:06:34.000 It's normal.
02:06:35.000 And the skin's toughened up, you know, surgeries and life.
02:06:39.000 You're about to sing right there.
02:06:41.000 Those skins toughened up and surgeries and life.
02:06:44.000 You'll go right into it.
02:06:45.000 I'm gonna sample it.
02:06:48.000 Yeah, you know, but ultimately, you're a nice guy.
02:06:52.000 I like to think so.
02:06:53.000 You're always a nice guy.
02:06:54.000 You're fun.
02:06:55.000 You're fun to be around, man.
02:06:56.000 I'll let you in if you use your blinker.
02:06:57.000 Yeah.
02:06:58.000 You know what I mean?
02:07:00.000 Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that.
02:07:02.000 But you've also dealt with a lot of douchebags.
02:07:04.000 Well, we live in Douchebag Central, and we work amongst douchebag fucking, you know, in the douchebaggiest industry there is, you know?
02:07:12.000 People would never understand how douchey it can possibly be.
02:07:15.000 And especially the music business, I think is probably the douchiest.
02:07:18.000 Had all the potential running into dickheads, running into musicians.
02:07:22.000 Like, you got a lot of brilliant, beautiful people out there, but goddamn...
02:07:26.000 Acting's way worse than musicians and douchebags.
02:07:29.000 Yeah, because even a shitty musician is actually...
02:07:31.000 Probably somewhat decent as shitty actors is fucking gross.
02:07:35.000 Yeah, that's a good point.
02:07:36.000 Because most actors are gross to begin with and you have a shitty one on top of that.
02:07:39.000 I would say they're pretty close.
02:07:40.000 I've met a lot of douchey musicians.
02:07:42.000 But yeah, I think ultimately you're probably right.
02:07:44.000 I think musicians requires more discipline too.
02:07:47.000 You have to actually, especially if you play an instrument, you have to actually learn a discipline.
02:07:52.000 Got to practice.
02:07:53.000 Yeah, that's a big thing.
02:07:54.000 Actors don't have to practice shit.
02:07:56.000 Investment in time.
02:07:57.000 Acting is easy as fuck, too.
02:07:59.000 And they like to pretend it's really difficult.
02:08:01.000 It's easy as fuck.
02:08:02.000 Well, I think there's a level of it that's hard.
02:08:05.000 Daniel Day-Lewis style.
02:08:06.000 I think in general, most things done in the acting world are relatively easy.
02:08:10.000 It's not like playing guitar and singing at the same time.
02:08:12.000 That's tricky as fuck, isn't it?
02:08:15.000 Actually, it took a long time for me to be able to do both.
02:08:17.000 Yeah, I watch you do it, and I'm perplexed by the dance.
02:08:21.000 But the one thing that's bad is, like I said, if that one kink in the road happens, it's a train wreck, man.
02:08:28.000 I should have never opened my eyes on that one.
02:08:30.000 Well, that's different than a joke.
02:08:32.000 You know, a joke you could fuck up in the middle of it and sort of like re-rail it.
02:08:35.000 And you even go on a tangent about the fuck up and you're okay.
02:08:39.000 Well, like I said, for me, it's all pictures and one kind of cross-circuited.
02:08:43.000 And so honestly, what happened was, is my hand started playing one song and I was saying words from another.
02:08:48.000 And then it was all, it was like just jumbled garbage.
02:08:52.000 You know, I would really be fascinated if someone who was a memory expert could talk to you about how you organize thoughts, like how you memorize things.
02:09:01.000 I bet people could learn a lot because you've got not just words.
02:09:05.000 You've got words that correspond to melodies, correspond to musical notes, and you have it all arranged.
02:09:12.000 And I'm sure you've morphed it, so you've probably had several versions of each song as they've sort of evolved inside your head.
02:09:19.000 How many fucking songs do you have in your head right now?
02:09:22.000 How many songs could you reliably play?
02:09:24.000 A hundred?
02:09:27.000 Just me?
02:09:28.000 Without an accompaniment?
02:09:30.000 Yeah, just you.
02:09:31.000 Well, I kind of eliminate all the rap songs because I wouldn't be playing too.
02:09:35.000 Right.
02:09:38.000 Probably most songs off of most of my records.
02:09:41.000 What's the number?
02:09:45.000 60?
02:09:45.000 60 or 70. Think about all that shit.
02:09:48.000 60 times what?
02:09:49.000 Five minutes?
02:09:51.000 Four?
02:09:51.000 Four minutes?
02:09:52.000 Yeah.
02:09:52.000 That's a lot of fucking shit to memorize, son.
02:09:55.000 A lot of shit inside your head just spinning around and you're calling upon.
02:09:58.000 And then there's another, you know, three albums of raps and stuff I've never even used yet that's, you know...
02:10:04.000 Do you think you could bust those out as well or would you need to get into a rap mindset?
02:10:09.000 Like the classics I could bust out.
02:10:11.000 Did you take any shit when you moved from rap to, like, this sort of bluesy style of music?
02:10:17.000 Nah, because I think some people are growing up with me, and I've never really, I was part of La Coco, and I'm sure that was a little rap collective, you know, and every one of my records has something hip-hop related.
02:10:27.000 I still kind of consider myself hip-hop artist, you know, I just evolved into what I'm doing, you know.
02:10:32.000 Anybody who's down with La Coca Nostra, just that name, I don't want to get in an argument with any of those dudes.
02:10:38.000 I don't want to be in an argument with anybody who's in something called La Coca Nostra.
02:10:42.000 That seems like there's a lot of drama that would come with that.
02:10:45.000 Just the name.
02:10:47.000 Coco Cafe.
02:10:50.000 Powerful Coco Cafe.
02:10:52.000 I think it came from one day, like, where before I joined the group, there was a couple of the guys who liked it a little bit, you know?
02:10:58.000 And they were talking, like, in the studio one day, like, yo, we're getting along great, it's like La Cosa Nostra, and Danny Boy, like, was sober, and he was like, yeah, more like La Coca Nostra, and kind of coined the name right there.
02:11:10.000 The Cocaine's a motherfucker, man.
02:11:13.000 That Buck Cherry song, that's a badass jam.
02:11:16.000 You know that song, I Love the Cocaine?
02:11:18.000 Yeah.
02:11:19.000 That's the best cocaine song next to the Eric Clapton one.
02:11:23.000 I've never really had to have the issue come up.
02:11:26.000 You steered away from that shit?
02:11:27.000 I mean, I did a couple times in my life, but it never became...
02:11:30.000 I always knew I had a little heart thing, so I always kind of was like, you know, the meths and the cocaines and even the ecstasy and stuff like that, I stayed heavily away from all that.
02:11:40.000 What about caffeines?
02:11:42.000 No, I'll drink the shit out of it.
02:11:43.000 I'm a Coca-Cola fiend, man.
02:11:44.000 I drink too much.
02:11:45.000 If I stopped drinking Coca-Cola alone, Joe, I'd probably lose 15 pounds just from that.
02:11:50.000 Why don't you stop?
02:11:51.000 That shit's terrible for you.
02:11:52.000 I fucking love it, man.
02:11:53.000 Really, do you?
02:11:54.000 You don't even do Coke Zero?
02:11:56.000 You go straight.
02:11:57.000 I only drink Coke out of a glass bottle.
02:11:59.000 Mexican Coke.
02:12:00.000 Yeah.
02:12:00.000 This is what I tell people.
02:12:01.000 Think about it this way.
02:12:02.000 If you want to really change...
02:12:03.000 Well, they make American Cokes, the little, sorry, but the little eight ounce are American.
02:12:06.000 You can find Mexican ones, but I'll drink the little American ones, too.
02:12:09.000 If you want to really change what you drink, and you really want to drink a lot of water, just think about how delicious water would be if it was rare as fuck.
02:12:17.000 If water was difficult to come by...
02:12:19.000 Water's delicious now.
02:12:20.000 It is delicious.
02:12:20.000 I love an ice cold bottle of water just pounds.
02:12:23.000 There's that fucking monster in your brain that tells you to get that Coca-Cola.
02:12:29.000 I've gone on kicks where I have stopped and what I do is I get club soda.
02:12:34.000 Because it's the bite.
02:12:35.000 That bite, that cold bite back of that carbonated goodness and the sugar rush.
02:12:41.000 Is club soda bad for you?
02:12:42.000 Is it bad to drink carbonated shit?
02:12:44.000 I heard there's something about carbonated water that's not supposed to be good for you.
02:12:47.000 I think it's got sodium in it.
02:12:48.000 Is that what it is?
02:12:49.000 Yeah, there's sodium in it.
02:12:50.000 Yeah, there might be a lot of sodium in it.
02:12:52.000 Coca-Cola, fuck you up.
02:12:54.000 It's that corn syrup, man.
02:12:55.000 That corn syrup's a motherfucker.
02:12:56.000 Well, that's why the Mexican ones are a little better.
02:12:58.000 They're made with real sugar.
02:12:59.000 Yeah, real cane sugar.
02:13:00.000 How do you get those?
02:13:01.000 They sell them all around California.
02:13:02.000 Oh, really?
02:13:03.000 They usually get in California.
02:13:04.000 So when you get out of California or Arizona, anywhere that touches Mexico, you can pretty much get them.
02:13:08.000 In Ohio, before they started selling the small little ones.
02:13:12.000 They still sell the tall ones, yeah.
02:13:14.000 Yeah, but they stopped selling them in Ohio.
02:13:15.000 They stopped selling all bottles for a while.
02:13:18.000 And they just recently, maybe like seven years ago, brought back the little baby bottles in Ohio.
02:13:23.000 So I used to go to antique stores and buy the old bottles and then fill them up with Coke and put them in my refrigerator because I'm a psycho.
02:13:32.000 Why?
02:13:33.000 Just because you like drinking out of those bottles?
02:13:34.000 Yeah, I'm the same way with him.
02:13:36.000 I love fucking coke in a bottle.
02:13:37.000 Yeah, but if you drink it, if you pour it in there, then it kills all the fizz, right?
02:13:41.000 No, not if you drink it the same day or two.
02:13:43.000 Oh.
02:13:44.000 Really?
02:13:44.000 Just something about it, the way glass chills it, too.
02:13:47.000 It's better to me.
02:13:49.000 I feel like I can taste metal when I drink out of aluminum cans.
02:13:51.000 Well, when cans first came out, you could taste the difference.
02:13:54.000 Remember going like, oh, this tastes weird.
02:13:56.000 Do you remember that?
02:13:56.000 Like when cans first came out?
02:13:58.000 I don't.
02:13:59.000 But I do remember that people were like really into this Mexican Coke.
02:14:04.000 And that Mexican Coke, like people were saying, it's actually, it just tastes better.
02:14:08.000 Yeah, it's king sugar.
02:14:09.000 It's real Coca-Cola.
02:14:10.000 It's the original Coca-Cola because it's actual sugar.
02:14:13.000 Before all the corporations bought into the corn syrup thing and that's all we use now in America.
02:14:18.000 Do you know that Coca-Cola is the number one, as far as importer, who takes cocaine in this country?
02:14:24.000 Coca-Cola.
02:14:25.000 They use medical cocaine, and they get medical cocaine from processing the coca leaves that they use to make Coca-Cola.
02:14:32.000 They're connected with medical cocaine.
02:14:35.000 Wow, I did not know that.
02:14:35.000 Yeah, one of the active ingredients in Coca-Cola.
02:14:37.000 Did you ever hear about their sanction?
02:14:38.000 They were part of all these sanctioned assassinations in South America?
02:14:42.000 What?
02:14:42.000 Oh my God.
02:14:43.000 Go to documentaryheaven.com.
02:14:45.000 Oh no.
02:14:46.000 Coca-Cola's evil?
02:14:47.000 And I think it's called the Coca-Cola Files or the Coca-Cola Cases.
02:14:53.000 Wow.
02:14:54.000 And it's about their involvement in some nefarious activities down there in South America.
02:15:00.000 Well, if you're going to be in South America.
02:15:02.000 I'm surprised I didn't hear about that inside that little documentary.
02:15:06.000 Yeah.
02:15:06.000 They don't.
02:15:07.000 I mean, they don't sell Coke, but they do sell to...
02:15:10.000 They take the process of converting whatever the fuck is in the coca leaves into some sort of a flavonoid, some sort of a plant-based taste.
02:15:21.000 And they take that, and it's one of the ingredients of Coke that makes it taste weird.
02:15:24.000 And for the longest time, it was actually cocaine.
02:15:26.000 Oh, yeah.
02:15:27.000 The original Coca-Cola was cocaine.
02:15:29.000 But when the process that they used to make cocaine...
02:15:34.000 The actual process today, and this is in 2013 that they used to make Coca-Cola, involves cocaine.
02:15:39.000 It doesn't give you a cocaine high, but there's a flavor aspect of it that actually comes from the cocoa plant.
02:15:45.000 And then they take that shit and they sell it and they process it and they take the cocaine out of it and make medical cocaine.
02:15:50.000 It's crazy because...
02:15:51.000 A gang of shit used to have cocaine.
02:15:54.000 Vicks NyQuil would have been loaded with cocaine.
02:15:57.000 Or codeine.
02:15:58.000 Codeine.
02:15:59.000 Yeah, that stuff was badass.
02:16:00.000 Housewife Remedy.
02:16:01.000 All those cure-alls had a little bit of cocaine in them.
02:16:04.000 Did you ever have the old school NyQuils with the codeine in it?
02:16:09.000 Oh, yeah.
02:16:10.000 I had some the other day.
02:16:11.000 Did you really?
02:16:12.000 Where can you get it?
02:16:13.000 You can still get it.
02:16:14.000 You get the NyQuil with codeine?
02:16:15.000 Yeah, you just have to get a prescription for it.
02:16:18.000 Oh, okay.
02:16:18.000 Yeah, I know they have prescription cough syrup with codeine, but I didn't know if it was NyQuil anymore.
02:16:23.000 You used to be able to just...
02:16:25.000 Go to CVS. And you go to CVS and you get NyQuil and I got sick once and I'll never forget this.
02:16:30.000 I'd never taken it before, but I got sick once and I was so happy.
02:16:34.000 I was like, my pillow was like massaging me.
02:16:36.000 I was like collapsed into this pillow watching TV. I felt, I never felt better.
02:16:41.000 I was like, oh my God, I could get it.
02:16:42.000 I could be a little junkie on this.
02:16:44.000 I had one of those big bottles of that medical grade cough syrup and like I kind of got into a stretch where I was fucking with it.
02:16:51.000 And then, like, within a year or so, a couple, like, at least three rappers I knew died.
02:16:57.000 It makes you feel like you're coming for hours.
02:17:00.000 You forget to breathe in your sleep.
02:17:01.000 You just stop.
02:17:02.000 Whoa.
02:17:03.000 That's how, it just slows you down so much, people just, like, would go to sleep and die.
02:17:07.000 Yikes.
02:17:07.000 That's when I was, like, there was a gang life, and that shit was, like, the bottle I had was, like, a couple grand.
02:17:12.000 I wonder if that has anything to do with sleep apnea.
02:17:15.000 I bet it has to do with sleep apnea.
02:17:16.000 I got it because some guy I knew that was a sneaker freak like me, he worked for sparklets, and he delivered a sparklet to a dentist or a doctor's office.
02:17:28.000 And as he was delivering it, he went out the back and he saw they had a fucking case of it, and he grabbed like four of them.
02:17:33.000 Wow.
02:17:33.000 He just gave me one.
02:17:35.000 Wow.
02:17:36.000 That stuff is powerful as fuck.
02:17:38.000 There was one time I spent like five days in my house, like fucked up on that shit, dude.
02:17:43.000 Playing SOCOM 2. Yeah, that stuff's legit.
02:17:50.000 There's a lot of pain stuff that's addictive as fuck.
02:17:52.000 It's amazing today.
02:17:53.000 The five days after that, we're fucking hell.
02:17:56.000 Oh, I bet.
02:17:57.000 What is the withdrawal?
02:17:58.000 That shit just headachy, body, you're just feeling awful.
02:18:00.000 Sniffling, sneezing.
02:18:01.000 Yeah, you're sick.
02:18:02.000 You're basically like, you feel like you got the flu for like three days.
02:18:05.000 Wow.
02:18:05.000 So then you get more.
02:18:07.000 But does it make you want to, is it one of those things where it makes you want to get more?
02:18:09.000 No, I didn't, like, after that five day, I did it a few times after that, lightly within a drink or something, but, like, that five days, I was going, like, straight.
02:18:16.000 Wow.
02:18:17.000 Oh, my God.
02:18:19.000 It's like never stopping being drunk.
02:18:21.000 It's like being drunk for days.
02:18:22.000 But the visual, like, your brain is getting all that visual, like, from, because I was, like, heavily into that video game for a time.
02:18:28.000 We had, like, a whole team of people.
02:18:30.000 It was when online shit first, like, really was good.
02:18:33.000 Like, you know, it was working well and, like, so.
02:18:36.000 We would just get fucked up for days.
02:18:39.000 Your brain's getting all this happiness from the visual.
02:18:43.000 And like you said, I was in my chair just like, oh, dude, gaming for days.
02:18:48.000 I just talked to another dude who had a back injury and got hooked on Oxycontins.
02:18:52.000 I've probably talked to maybe 10 people that have told me the exact same story.
02:18:57.000 Another dude who had a hard time kicking it.
02:18:59.000 And I just wonder, I'm like, how many people out there, there's 300 million people, how many people out there are hooked Oh, yeah.
02:19:05.000 On OxyContin.
02:19:05.000 There's a commercial right now on TV that's telling people about, you know, if you're hooked on opiates and this, that, and the other.
02:19:10.000 They're not advertising to, like, 1% of the people.
02:19:13.000 No.
02:19:13.000 They're advertising.
02:19:14.000 Prime time.
02:19:15.000 It's like herpes meds.
02:19:16.000 Yo, it's out there, people.
02:19:17.000 In droves.
02:19:19.000 They're not advertising that shit on TV because it's, like, not around.
02:19:23.000 Right.
02:19:24.000 Exactly.
02:19:24.000 It's not like they're malaria pills.
02:19:26.000 Right.
02:19:26.000 You don't ever hear that on TV. Come buy malaria pills.
02:19:29.000 Exactly.
02:19:30.000 Do you need a malaria show?
02:19:33.000 Fix your boner pills.
02:19:35.000 Herpes meds.
02:19:37.000 Yeah.
02:19:38.000 There's a lot of problems out there.
02:19:39.000 There's a lot of people hooked on pills.
02:19:41.000 I mean, that's why everything else is illegal.
02:19:44.000 These pharmaceutical corporations, they want us hooked on their drugs.
02:19:50.000 It's amazing how that's happened.
02:19:51.000 I mean, that really is almost like a science fiction movie when you look at how many people are dependent on...
02:19:56.000 And then not only that, how many jobs are dependent upon the production of these things.
02:19:58.000 When we were young, was medicine something even advertised?
02:20:02.000 Besides a cold medicine like a NyQuil or something like that, did you ever see advertisements on TV for like your toenail fungus?
02:20:10.000 There's so many commercials that say, ask your doctor about this.
02:20:14.000 You never used to go ask your doctor for medicine.
02:20:16.000 They told you what fucking medicine you needed.
02:20:18.000 Yeah, because if you have a psychosomatic thing, you can go in and say, you know, Doc, I saw this commercial, and that's what I have.
02:20:23.000 You get told enough on TV, hey, do your arms hurt?
02:20:27.000 Can you move them?
02:20:28.000 Fuck, I can't move my arms.
02:20:29.000 Does your hair grow?
02:20:29.000 Fuck, it stopped growing.
02:20:30.000 Maybe you have this.
02:20:31.000 I might have it.
02:20:32.000 Look at all the symptoms.
02:20:33.000 I got it.
02:20:34.000 I think I got it.
02:20:34.000 Shit.
02:20:35.000 And then they run really quickly by may cause vomiting, anal bleeding, and then it's like, what the fuck?
02:20:40.000 Who's going to actually take this?
02:20:41.000 What's so unfair if you know the history of people, too, it's not like they didn't know that people have been, like, rused by charlatans, all these fucking late night preachers that are trying to get people to donate money.
02:20:50.000 They've been doing it for years and years and years.
02:20:52.000 They already knew that there was a certain percentage of the population that were, like, super easily manipulated.
02:20:57.000 So to make them responsible...
02:20:59.000 For, you know, their own judgment and having a commercial that's selling prescription drugs, that's really ridiculous.
02:21:06.000 That's ignorant.
02:21:07.000 Well, it's not just the guys.
02:21:08.000 Now you've got guys coming in asking for stuff.
02:21:10.000 And how many doctors are just sleazebags?
02:21:12.000 I mean, we've learned how many doctors used to be when we were young.
02:21:14.000 That was somebody like a, you were told, policemen, firemen, doctors.
02:21:18.000 These are good people.
02:21:19.000 We know now that's not true.
02:21:20.000 They're people.
02:21:21.000 They're just as dirty and rotten as everybody else.
02:21:23.000 So how many of them are like, yeah, sure, I'll prescribe you all that shit?
02:21:26.000 Oh, it's happening, for sure.
02:21:27.000 I mean, I could go out right now, legitimately, right now, by the end of, well, it's probably late today, but by the end of the day tomorrow, I could have probably five prescriptions for painkillers if I really want them.
02:21:36.000 Well, today in California, there's a database.
02:21:38.000 So you could probably go to different doctors and maybe get different things prescribed, maybe?
02:21:42.000 Yeah, not the same one.
02:21:43.000 Yeah, but in Florida, they don't have a database.
02:21:45.000 I mean, they might have changed it now, but they had that show, the OxyContin Express, that they aired.
02:21:51.000 Just Google that online.
02:21:52.000 You can watch it.
02:21:54.000 I think it was on TruTV.
02:21:57.000 But either way, whatever it was on, the OxyContin Express...
02:22:01.000 Vanguard, that was the show.
02:22:02.000 They went and they showed how you can go to Florida.
02:22:04.000 You can go to a doctor, say, oh, my back hurts.
02:22:06.000 They give you a prescription.
02:22:06.000 Then you go down the street to another doctor.
02:22:08.000 He gives you a prescription for the same shit.
02:22:09.000 Nobody talks to anybody.
02:22:11.000 There's not a database that they can say, hey, Mr. Wilson, I see you've had 10,000 OxyContin prescriptions from different doctors this year.
02:22:18.000 So because of that, Florida sells more OxyContin than the whole country.
02:22:24.000 Like, literally, I think that the numbers for how much...
02:22:27.000 Might be part of your...
02:22:28.000 The whole explanation of Florida's craziness.
02:22:30.000 Oh, absolutely.
02:22:31.000 Let me make sure that that's true, because someone told me that.
02:22:34.000 Florida uses more Oxy than the whole country.
02:22:42.000 Because there's a doubt in my mind.
02:22:44.000 Brian, what do you think?
02:22:45.000 Is that right?
02:22:46.000 Yeah.
02:22:46.000 I think that's right.
02:22:50.000 It doesn't sound wrong.
02:22:52.000 It doesn't sound wrong.
02:22:53.000 Yeah.
02:22:53.000 Well, either way, I'll look for it while we're talking, but the reality is that there's a lot of fucking people that take that shit and they're gone.
02:23:02.000 It's opiate.
02:23:03.000 It's really dangerously addictive.
02:23:05.000 And they're just tossing them around.
02:23:08.000 I never took it.
02:23:08.000 Somebody gave me some once and they actually frightened me.
02:23:12.000 I threw them away because I knew so many people that just got caught out there so quickly on them.
02:23:16.000 Whoa, you ready for this?
02:23:17.000 In Florida alone, almost 3,000 people died of an overdose in 2009, 2010. The majority of these people had legal prescriptions, medications in their systems at the time of death.
02:23:30.000 Wow.
02:23:31.000 That's nutty shit, man.
02:23:33.000 They're just dropping like flies.
02:23:36.000 3,000 people, man.
02:23:38.000 That's 9-11.
02:23:39.000 That's 9-11, and it's happening all the time.
02:23:42.000 It's 9-11 and it keeps going.
02:23:44.000 People just dropping.
02:23:47.000 This show was really scary because one of the guys on the show, his wife, had died of an overdose, and he got high before he called the cops.
02:23:53.000 His wife was lying next to him cold and blue, and this motherfucker got high before he called the ambulance.
02:23:59.000 That's how crazy it is.
02:24:00.000 Yeah, that shit honestly scared me.
02:24:03.000 It's terrifying.
02:24:04.000 I had a period where I was heavy into taking Vicodin and drinking a few whiskeys.
02:24:08.000 Why'd you like to do that?
02:24:09.000 What does that feel like?
02:24:10.000 It made me feel really fucking good.
02:24:12.000 I would take half a Vicodin, my rule was a half a Vicodin, and then I'd have a few whiskeys and it'd be almost the same feeling as that cropped syrup.
02:24:21.000 You ever do that, Brian?
02:24:22.000 Vicodins and whiskey?
02:24:23.000 Yeah, I've done Vicodin's alcohol.
02:24:24.000 What is it like?
02:24:27.000 It's really slow and, yeah, it's like, it's kind of like, yeah, it's like comfortable.
02:24:32.000 Yeah, it's like tripping on the, robo-tripping.
02:24:34.000 I had a buddy who was a guitar player who said that Vicodin's made him, like, super creative.
02:24:39.000 Love Vicodin's.
02:24:41.000 Maybe.
02:24:41.000 No?
02:24:42.000 Maybe?
02:24:43.000 No?
02:24:43.000 You don't think so?
02:24:43.000 That's never happened to me.
02:24:45.000 Vicodin makes me stupid.
02:24:46.000 I find it you're pretty lazy on them.
02:24:47.000 I was pretty lazy on them.
02:24:49.000 Wow, that's interesting.
02:24:50.000 I mean, just wanted to, like, yeah, I'm good.
02:24:53.000 Maybe have some, you know, call up a broad or something.
02:24:56.000 A broad.
02:24:57.000 Everlast is from the 50s.
02:24:59.000 Call up a broad.
02:25:00.000 You got a scally cap on, calling up a broad?
02:25:03.000 I'm calling up a flapper.
02:25:04.000 Why, listen, see?
02:25:05.000 You ever watch those old movies where dudes are backhand bitches?
02:25:08.000 Yeah.
02:25:08.000 And you're like, whoa, how often was that going on where you could put it in a movie?
02:25:12.000 A lot.
02:25:14.000 To the moon, Alice.
02:25:15.000 Yeah, well, he never actually hit her.
02:25:17.000 He's threatening her.
02:25:18.000 It was the theme of the show.
02:25:20.000 He was, right, when you think about it.
02:25:22.000 Pow!
02:25:22.000 To the moon, Alice.
02:25:23.000 Pow, right in the kisser.
02:25:24.000 Yeah, he was going to punch her.
02:25:26.000 To the moon.
02:25:27.000 And he was a big guy, too, man.
02:25:28.000 I'm going to punch you in the face.
02:25:30.000 And Jackie Gleason seemed like the type of dude would punch a chick.
02:25:33.000 Mm-hmm.
02:25:34.000 You ever see that Sean Connery interview where he talked about sometimes women need to slap because they keep pushing.
02:25:39.000 Sometimes you have to slap them.
02:25:41.000 Everybody was like, whoa, goddamn Sean Connery.
02:25:44.000 But the way he was saying it is like, listen.
02:25:46.000 You've never had a broad pushing that button on you.
02:25:49.000 Oh, yeah.
02:25:50.000 No, I don't think he meant everything.
02:25:52.000 You're asking me?
02:25:54.000 Yeah, I'm asking you.
02:25:54.000 My dad beat my mom, and I had a very, very vivid image of that.
02:25:59.000 My father was an alcoholic.
02:26:01.000 I'm very scared of that, of getting into any sort of domestic situation.
02:26:05.000 So no, I've never had.
02:26:07.000 I'm not saying, have you ever hit one?
02:26:08.000 I'm just saying, but you never had a broad come at you?
02:26:10.000 Oh yeah, I've had a couple.
02:26:11.000 Where you knew she was pushing to a point where she wanted you to slap the shit out of her or do something physical to her?
02:26:17.000 No.
02:26:18.000 I had to duck.
02:26:19.000 Man, I just like...
02:26:19.000 I've never got to...
02:26:20.000 I must have liked a lot of crazy broads then.
02:26:22.000 No, I've liked a lot of crazy broads too, but I have a little bit...
02:26:24.000 I have a little bit of a higher threshold before I press the panic button.
02:26:28.000 I'd like to subscribe to the Chris Rock theory, which was I won't hit a bitch, but I'll shake the shit out of my...
02:26:34.000 Yeah.
02:26:35.000 Well, you know, my whole life, when I was a young man, was all dedicated to martial arts, and the last thing I ever wanted to do was get in a violent altercation with a girl.
02:26:44.000 But I had chicks swing at me.
02:26:46.000 I've had a couple girls I dated, like, make a move.
02:26:48.000 I'm just saying, they know there's broads who want that to happen.
02:26:51.000 But I've never gotten even close.
02:26:53.000 I'm not willing to enter.
02:26:54.000 That's the sign to get the fuck away and leave.
02:26:57.000 Right.
02:26:57.000 And what if you like it?
02:26:59.000 What if some shit comes after you and you fucking crack her and all of a sudden you're like, all right, well, I started hitting you.
02:27:05.000 Here we go.
02:27:06.000 We're actually fighting now.
02:27:07.000 And then you're plumbing her and kneeing her in the face and pounding her into the ground.
02:27:11.000 I mean, what the fuck are you doing?
02:27:12.000 Are you going to fight?
02:27:13.000 What are you going to do?
02:27:13.000 Are you going to halfway fight?
02:27:14.000 Are you going to shake her?
02:27:16.000 Are you going to slap her?
02:27:17.000 How hard do you slap her?
02:27:18.000 Can you punch her if she punches you?
02:27:19.000 What if she grabs your dick and she won't let go?
02:27:21.000 You gonna punch her then?
02:27:22.000 Like, what happens then?
02:27:22.000 And then if she gets up, she grabs a knife.
02:27:24.000 See, now you're asking questions, and if you're gonna ask me an opinion, I'm really gonna subscribe to it.
02:27:29.000 Like, I'll tell you the same way I heard a pimp say it in American Pimp.
02:27:32.000 There's a time and a place to hit anyone.
02:27:36.000 Yes, in defending yourself.
02:27:38.000 In defending your life.
02:27:39.000 So if you're saying, if she grabbed your dick and won't let go, you're getting punched dead in your grave.
02:27:43.000 Oh, yes.
02:27:43.000 For sure.
02:27:44.000 For sure.
02:27:44.000 If you're psychologically trying to torture me or something, I'm going to do everything I can to get the fuck away from you.
02:27:49.000 Yeah.
02:27:50.000 That's when I don't have a desire to hit anybody when they're psychologically tortured.
02:27:54.000 But I come from the same thing.
02:27:55.000 My father, you know, he was like a binge alcoholic.
02:27:57.000 Like, he'd be fine for nine months and then bump in the road and he'd be gone for three, four weeks drinking.
02:28:02.000 Come home and by the time I hit 16, 17, you know.
02:28:07.000 Did that steer you away in any way from alcohol or make you wary of it?
02:28:11.000 Well, yeah, very wary of it.
02:28:13.000 I mean, it never steered me away.
02:28:14.000 I was always fucking drinking, you know.
02:28:17.000 But I just never drank by myself.
02:28:19.000 It was always early on in my life.
02:28:21.000 I was very aware of that kind of stuff.
02:28:22.000 Like, don't be caught drinking at home.
02:28:24.000 Don't drink because you're sad or in a bad mood.
02:28:26.000 That's not my thing.
02:28:28.000 That's never the good move.
02:28:30.000 Like, drinking for me is something I do like, oh, we're going to go out and have some fun.
02:28:33.000 Let's have a few drinks.
02:28:34.000 That's cool that you were able to overcome that even though your dad had an issue.
02:28:38.000 Because sometimes that thing is either psychological, but sometimes it's genetic.
02:28:41.000 Yeah, but by the time I had 15, 16, my routine was when I knew those things.
02:28:46.000 Because like I said, it wasn't an every night thing.
02:28:49.000 He'd be fine for a long time.
02:28:50.000 But when you knew he was on a bench, I would stay up every night until either he didn't come home or he came home.
02:28:56.000 Sit him down, give him some food just to keep him from fighting.
02:28:59.000 And then one time he started trying to fight with my mom, but I think I was about 16, 17, and that's when I stepped in.
02:29:05.000 Yeah, it's a fucked up situation.
02:29:07.000 We had a fight and, you know, I woke up on the couch later.
02:29:10.000 My dad was a big construction working man, so, you know, he wasn't easy to fight.
02:29:14.000 But that was the last time it happened, though, too.
02:29:17.000 When me and him squared off, it was the last time it ever happened, too.
02:29:20.000 He never did it again.
02:29:21.000 And then they finally split up a little while later.
02:29:24.000 Yeah, that's not good, man.
02:29:26.000 Being around crazy big drunks that can beat the fuck out of you is never bueno.
02:29:30.000 You know what, before he passed though, I think he got it together.
02:29:33.000 He became, you know, his life lessons were learned.
02:29:36.000 You know what I mean?
02:29:37.000 Well, the alcohol one is such a fucked up one because it seems some sort of a chemical thing goes off in some folks.
02:29:43.000 And he died at 63. I know it shortened his life.
02:29:45.000 Of course, yeah.
02:29:46.000 There's no doubt about it.
02:29:47.000 It's poison.
02:29:48.000 I mean, it feels good because it's poison.
02:29:50.000 You're poisoning your shit.
02:29:51.000 But, goddammit, it's fun sometimes.
02:29:53.000 Yeah, the whiskey's good, man.
02:29:54.000 It's fun!
02:29:55.000 I like that stuff.
02:29:56.000 I like that stuff.
02:29:56.000 And the relief.
02:29:58.000 The relief from the burdens of thinking about all the subtle nuances of the world.
02:30:02.000 You know, when you're just like, who gives a fuck?
02:30:04.000 Let's do another shot.
02:30:05.000 And you clink glasses and you know that everybody's all in on it with you.
02:30:08.000 Yeah, that's good stuff.
02:30:09.000 It's good stuff.
02:30:10.000 When it goes the other way from there.
02:30:12.000 If that's not how you're doing it, you shouldn't be doing it.
02:30:14.000 Exactly.
02:30:15.000 But again, it boils down to who you're doing it with.
02:30:19.000 Unless you're an alcoholic.
02:30:20.000 Then it boils down to, sorry, you got a shitty gene.
02:30:23.000 You got some American Indian in you or some Irish.
02:30:26.000 You know what I mean?
02:30:29.000 I'm sure there's some genetic level of connection to it, but it's choice, man.
02:30:33.000 There's a big choice there.
02:30:35.000 You can choose not to...
02:30:38.000 If I really suspect it, I was like...
02:30:41.000 Fucked up like my father was.
02:30:42.000 I would have just chose to never drink.
02:30:44.000 Right.
02:30:45.000 You know what I mean?
02:30:45.000 Because I was so hyper-conscious.
02:30:48.000 Because I was able to see also the pattern.
02:30:49.000 My father was a good father compared to his father.
02:30:53.000 You know what I mean?
02:30:54.000 My father made improvements.
02:30:55.000 Yeah.
02:30:56.000 So I said, okay, so it's my turn to make that improvement.
02:31:00.000 That's exactly the same with my father.
02:31:02.000 My father's father was even more of a savage.
02:31:05.000 He came over from Ireland during the Depression.
02:31:08.000 And my mom told me that when she was young, my dad's dad tried to fuck her.
02:31:14.000 She was like, when she'd already had me, she'd be over the house and my father would step out.
02:31:19.000 I'm going to go down to this corner and my dad's father would be like, what's up?
02:31:22.000 What's up?
02:31:23.000 You want some of this?
02:31:23.000 And she'd be like, what the fuck kind of crazy family is this?
02:31:27.000 Just drunk savages from the depression.
02:31:31.000 Those were people that were worried about starving to death.
02:31:34.000 Those are people that would take a piece of pussy in a heartbeat.
02:31:37.000 They were rapists and savages.
02:31:39.000 They were animals.
02:31:40.000 They took a fucking boat ride across the world to wind up in some place where they never even saw a picture of it.
02:31:46.000 They had no idea what it was going to be like.
02:31:48.000 Landed on a boat, got out and Made their way.
02:31:52.000 Yeah, were hated.
02:31:53.000 Hated immediately.
02:31:54.000 Made their way.
02:31:55.000 They were so much closer to animals.
02:31:57.000 Hence the backfist woman.
02:31:59.000 Schmack!
02:32:00.000 You know, that's from the 1950s.
02:32:02.000 That shit was acceptable.
02:32:03.000 People were crazy back then.
02:32:05.000 They were fucking animals.
02:32:06.000 They're crazy now.
02:32:07.000 But they're better, right?
02:32:09.000 Hopefully, according to Joe Rogan's window.
02:32:11.000 If there's any sign, if there's any proof that culture is evolving, it's the proof in our record of culture, our songs, our movies, our stand-up comedy.
02:32:21.000 You want to see the evolution of culture?
02:32:24.000 In stand-up comedy, it's a good microcosm.
02:32:27.000 It's a good way to look at the evolution of culture.
02:32:28.000 Go back and try to watch some old comedy from the 1950s and 60s.
02:32:32.000 It's so dated.
02:32:33.000 Even if you can put yourself into that mindset and see the brilliance of it, it's so dated.
02:32:37.000 Yeah.
02:32:38.000 You know, watch some Lenny Bruce.
02:32:40.000 Try to laugh.
02:32:41.000 As edgy as he was back then, yeah.
02:32:43.000 He was the greatest.
02:32:43.000 He opened up all the doors, but you can't watch that shit today.
02:32:46.000 It's weird.
02:32:47.000 Carlin still.
02:32:48.000 Some of it.
02:32:49.000 Some of it's still dated, though, if you go to the really old stuff.
02:32:52.000 Pryor's the first guy, to me, that's universal.
02:32:55.000 Like, he stands the test of time.
02:32:57.000 He's evergreen.
02:32:58.000 His shit was so, like, raw.
02:33:02.000 Like, when he would talk about his life and the way he would describe things, it was so raw that I think to this day still resonates.
02:33:10.000 Yeah.
02:33:10.000 I remember the first time watching Live on the Sunset Strip.
02:33:13.000 Fuck yeah!
02:33:14.000 Wasn't supposed to be watching it.
02:33:15.000 Exactly.
02:33:17.000 Yeah, it was in the movie theater.
02:33:19.000 The guy was just talking and everybody was dying laughing.
02:33:22.000 That was a game changer for a lot of people.
02:33:24.000 That was the first time a lot of people got to see comedy like that.
02:33:27.000 It created a whole generation of comics, man.
02:33:30.000 Sure.
02:33:31.000 That little era.
02:33:31.000 He was the first really honest guy.
02:33:33.000 Well, him and Lenny Bruce.
02:33:34.000 Lenny Bruce was the first really honest guy too, but...
02:33:38.000 When it came to his personal life, Pryor took it to a completely different level than anybody had before.
02:33:43.000 I love that movie too, JoJo Dancer.
02:33:46.000 We've got to wrap this up with one or two more.
02:33:51.000 Which ones do you want to play?
02:33:53.000 It's up to you.
02:33:54.000 I told you I'd play one.
02:33:56.000 Yeah, I've got to hear that one.
02:33:57.000 And then maybe one more that you want to do?
02:34:00.000 Is that cool?
02:34:01.000 Figure it out.
02:34:02.000 Okay, beautiful.
02:34:04.000 And if any of you little punks on Twitter are complaining that he's playing music, I need you to go fuck yourself right now.
02:34:10.000 Okay?
02:34:11.000 Listening?
02:34:12.000 Get your mind straight, bitches.
02:34:14.000 Respect.
02:34:16.000 OG Everlast.
02:34:17.000 Follow him on Twitter.
02:35:02.000 Hey now All you sinners Put your lights on Put your lights on Hey now All you lovers Put your lights on Put your lights on Hey now All
02:35:32.000 you killers, put your lights on.
02:35:38.000 Put your lights on, here now.
02:35:44.000 All you children, leave your lights on.
02:35:51.000 Leave your lights on, cause there's a monster living under my bed.
02:36:02.000 Whispering in my ear There's an angel With a hand on my ear You say I got nothing to fear There's a darkness That's living deep in my soul Still got a bridge to serve So
02:36:33.000 let your light shine to the beds of my home.
02:37:25.000 Head now, head now Head now Head now Head now Head down,
02:37:42.000 head down Are you a sinner?
02:37:49.000 Put your lights on Put your lights on Head down Are you children?
02:38:02.000 Leave your lights on Leave your lights on There's a monster Whispering in my ear There's an angel With a hand on my head She said,
02:38:29.000 I got a little fear She said, I'm gonna shine like stars Shine like a star.
02:39:00.000 La, la, [...
02:39:21.000 We'll shine like stars.
02:39:24.000 And we'll fade away.
02:39:34.000 Fuck yeah.
02:39:35.000 Fuck yeah.
02:39:36.000 Indeed.
02:39:37.000 Powerful Everlast, ladies and gentlemen.
02:39:39.000 I'm getting my mojo back a little bit.
02:39:40.000 Letting bitches know.
02:39:41.000 From that last one.
02:39:43.000 It's still bothering.
02:39:44.000 We gotta let it go, my friend.
02:39:45.000 We gotta move forward.
02:39:47.000 I'm there.
02:39:49.000 I'm there as well.
02:39:53.000 What is it?
02:39:54.000 Black coffee?
02:39:55.000 Okay.
02:39:56.000 Can we do that yet, though?
02:39:57.000 Did I do that?
02:39:57.000 I don't know.
02:39:58.000 You know what?
02:39:59.000 We'll wrap it up with this.
02:40:00.000 We'll take it home with this.
02:40:01.000 Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for tuning in.
02:40:04.000 God bless you all in your own special, beautiful, perfect way.
02:40:07.000 We're going to do this one.
02:40:08.000 Go fuck yourselves.
02:40:11.000 Why, people are mad?
02:40:12.000 Be cool.
02:40:13.000 No, no, no.
02:40:13.000 Fuck all of them.
02:40:14.000 Should we tell them to go fuck themselves?
02:40:16.000 That's not a bad thing.
02:40:17.000 I don't even pay attention to that stuff.
02:40:19.000 No one's mad, man.
02:40:21.000 Everyone's enjoying this.
02:40:22.000 This is the old one.
02:40:25.000 Here we go.
02:40:35.000 Yesterday, just a dream I don't remember Tomorrow's still a hope I've yet to indulge I'm out of time, out of rhyme, and I'm out of reason.
02:40:52.000 Seasons change, leave me out in the cold.
02:40:57.000 The store is old, a tale been told by many scholars.
02:41:03.000 Got a fistful of dollars, and a pocket full of love.
02:41:10.000 Got above, if you hear me crying.
02:41:15.000 Try to sell my soul, but no one's buying.
02:41:20.000 Lord, stand me down now if I'm lying.
02:41:27.000 Getting cold, it's time for dying.
02:41:31.000 Come on, watch me shine.
02:41:36.000 There's now a world in mine, Lord, today.
02:41:42.000 We're good to go.
02:41:54.000 We're good to go.
02:42:07.000 We're good to go.
02:42:07.000 We're good to go.
02:42:07.000 We're good to go.
02:42:12.000 Let man's words ring true, speak on up till his voice break through the silence.
02:42:23.000 Let one who lose their way, let us see just one more day in the sunshine.
02:42:35.000 Let the ones who choose straight Recognize the price still paid in their lifetime Come on, watch me shine Cause like the world is mine,
02:42:53.000 Lord, yeah This day Come on, watch me shine Fill out the world in my load today.
02:43:08.000 Watch me shine.
02:43:37.000 You suit me away from my robes to cross Kneel me down, you watch me bleed Lay my head against the earth And my body like a sea You can't always get the things you want Well,
02:44:06.000 you deserve me for what you need Fill my hope with precious dirt Till the soil plucks the weeds Pluck the weeds,
02:44:22.000 girl, and watch me shine Like the world, my Lord, today Come on, watch me shine Come on,
02:44:45.000 watch me shine Come on, watch me shine Come on, watch me shine Boom!
02:45:16.000 That was beautiful.
02:45:17.000 That was fucking beautiful.
02:45:19.000 God damn it.
02:45:20.000 Thank you, sir.
02:45:21.000 That's spectacular shit.
02:45:22.000 It's over now.
02:45:23.000 Now you've erased it.
02:45:24.000 You can completely exorcise all the demons.
02:45:25.000 All of them are gone.
02:45:26.000 Hey, it's a fuck up, dude.
02:45:27.000 It used to happen.
02:45:28.000 There's a couple times like a strap would break on stage and guitar fall.
02:45:32.000 And it's like, you know what?
02:45:32.000 People, it's real.
02:45:34.000 Right.
02:45:34.000 It is real.
02:45:35.000 Exactly.
02:45:36.000 Now you can accept that.
02:45:37.000 At least it wasn't like the first time on the first one that I did.
02:45:40.000 At least I'm three times deep.
02:45:42.000 People know I got what I got.
02:45:43.000 And I fucked one up because Joe answered his phone.
02:45:46.000 People love the fuck out of you.
02:45:48.000 It's my fault.
02:45:49.000 It's 100%.
02:45:49.000 I want to see if you're catching me flack on Twitter.
02:45:52.000 I already have, I'm sure.
02:45:53.000 I apologize to you.
02:45:54.000 I apologize to all the beautiful people on Twitter.
02:45:56.000 I apologize to Stamps.com for what I did.
02:45:59.000 Go to Stamps.com.
02:46:01.000 Use the code word JRE and get a beautiful special offer.
02:46:04.000 I think they come to your house and rub your balls.
02:46:06.000 Do they rub your balls?
02:46:07.000 We should start a Tumblr.
02:46:08.000 No, I don't think that's not the case anymore.
02:46:10.000 We should start a Tumblr called TrampStamps.com.
02:46:13.000 Do you like TrampStamps?
02:46:14.000 I don't know.
02:46:15.000 It just sounded like a funny website of...
02:46:17.000 Tramp stamp pictures.
02:46:18.000 Have you ever seen the one that's like chicks with Steve Buscemi eyes?
02:46:23.000 That's just fucking rude.
02:46:24.000 No, it's fucking disturbing, dude.
02:46:26.000 I don't want to see it.
02:46:26.000 It's more disturbing than Game of Thrones last night.
02:46:29.000 Oh, don't talk.
02:46:30.000 Stop.
02:46:30.000 Don't say a word.
02:46:31.000 Oh, you ain't seen it?
02:46:32.000 I haven't seen it yet.
02:46:32.000 Are you into it?
02:46:33.000 Oh, yeah.
02:46:33.000 I love it.
02:46:34.000 I'm too behind.
02:46:35.000 I've got to catch up tonight.
02:46:36.000 I want to say a word.
02:46:37.000 Don't please.
02:46:37.000 Don't look at Twitter either because they're going to try and fuck you right now.
02:46:39.000 I know.
02:46:39.000 I'm already avoiding it.
02:46:40.000 Hey, we love to fuck out of you guys.
02:46:41.000 Thank you very much.
02:46:42.000 Greatest show right now, though.
02:46:43.000 Thanks to Onnit.com.
02:46:44.000 Greatest show.
02:46:45.000 O-N-N-I-T, use the code name Rogan, save some cash.
02:46:48.000 OGEverlast on Twitter, follow, respect, enjoy.
02:46:51.000 Raven DeBanger.
02:46:52.000 Hey, show my keyboard player, Brian Velasco, how you could blow up a Twitter.
02:46:57.000 Joe Rogan, people.
02:46:58.000 Raven, R-A-V-E-N, D-A. Like da, da.
02:47:03.000 Raven da banger.
02:47:04.000 Da banger?
02:47:05.000 Or Black Beauty.
02:47:06.000 Black Beauty?
02:47:07.000 That's it?
02:47:07.000 You're Black Beauty?
02:47:08.000 Oh, is that your Twitter?
02:47:09.000 You got a Twitter?
02:47:11.000 Black Beauty at Raven da banger.
02:47:13.000 I don't know how that Twitter is.
02:47:14.000 Your Twitter is Black Beauty?
02:47:15.000 Yeah, some rapper was stoned.
02:47:16.000 He came over to my house.
02:47:17.000 He said my hair was long and black.
02:47:18.000 So he's like, you're like Black Beauty, bro.
02:47:20.000 Is that guy trying to fuck you?
02:47:21.000 I certainly hope not.
02:47:22.000 Did he give you that dolphin stuffed animal?
02:47:24.000 Boom, ladies and gentlemen.
02:47:26.000 Good night.
02:47:26.000 We'll see you tomorrow.
02:47:27.000 Tom Rhodes in the house.
02:47:28.000 We're going to have to hear that story in the next podcast.
02:47:29.000 I think so.
02:47:30.000 I'm confused already.