This week, the boys talk about their first kiss, how they met, and what they are doing to save orangutans. They also talk about a lot of other stuff, including the new orangutan kettlebells they are selling, and how they are going to make money off of it. Also, the guys talk about how to get divorced without a lawyer, and why you should probably get divorced at all. This episode is sponsored by Onnit! Use the code "ROGAN" at checkout to get 10% off all Orangutan Kettlebells, and save $5 on each one! Onnit is a company that makes some really cool stuff, and we are here to help them do it! We are also sponsored by LegalZoom, and they are a website that allows you to do a lot things you would normally have to go to a lawyer for, like getting divorced. You can do it all from your own computer, and you can actually get divorced through legalzoom. If you need to do it by yourself, you can get divorced from your ex without having to go through an independent lawyer. But once you do that, you have to fill out all the paperwork, and then you re screwed up. You have to do the process by yourself. Legalzoom will connect you with an independent attorney who will help you with all the legal paperwork and all the details you need, so you don t have to run around like a mad woman trying to get a divorce. And they'll help you through the process of creating a will, etc. and all of the legal papers, so that you don't have to get your divorce and all that stuff. We also give you a discount code ROGAN! Use code "ROCHEAN" to get 20% off your divorce, plus a bunch of other things you can do for free, plus an extra $5 off your first bill, plus free shipping, and a bunch more. This is a deal that you get when you go to Onnit, and it's $5 and they'll give you $10 off the price of your first purchase. . We're giving you $5, and the rest is $20 and you get $50 and $25, and $20 gets you $50 off. you get a whole bunch of stuff like that. It's a deal like that! Just pay $5!
00:01:44.000She told me that she'd always been thinking of me Said she bought me no She always would love me She said she never put no one else above me Sell her monkey She's like a junkie Just like a junkie.
00:06:10.000You have to fill out all the information.
00:06:12.000But then once you do that, if you get scrambled and you're like, oh shit, I'm freaking out, I don't think this is legal...
00:06:18.000LegalZoom will hook you up with an attorney.
00:06:20.000They'll connect you with an independent attorney if you need additional guidance.
00:06:24.000So they want to emphasize that LegalZoom is not a law firm, but they provide self-help service At your specific direction.
00:06:31.000Meaning they let you understand and they talk you through the process of creating legal documents like wills or LLCs or things along those lines.
00:07:53.000Fuck, we're gonna have plenty of music in this podcast.
00:07:55.000We don't really need the opening song.
00:07:57.000Yeah, that OJ thing is one of the weirdest times in my life because I was a very young man and I was still really delusional about the way the world worked.
00:08:07.000I didn't know to the extent of corruption and craziness and the fucking dispute between...
00:08:14.000When Rodney King happened and I saw how strong the hate for police is and the anger that led to the rioting, I was like, who the fuck saw that coming?
00:08:28.000I had such little contact with that world that I had no idea what the disparity was and how these people felt about About police brutality and things like that.
00:08:37.000Do you see that video of them beating the shit out of that dude with sticks?
00:08:41.000And then they got off, and everybody's like, whoa, wait a minute.
00:09:41.000It's like, in a weird way, I was just so oblivious to it that I, you know, because I was treated as, you know, like, I was a member of the crew.
00:09:47.000I was already, like, a rap kid, and it was like, you know, I... As long as I showed up and had the balls to be somewhere, I felt like I was cool there.
00:09:55.000I wasn't into gangbanging or anything.
00:10:09.000I used to get told, like, they usually, by, like, you know, cats like Ice would say things like, you know, yeah, man, you know, you're white, man.
00:10:14.000Everybody here either thinks you're crazy for being here or you're a cop.
00:12:04.000And credited to McCartney and his wife, Linda, reunited the former Beatles producer, George Martin, who both produced a song and arranged the orchestra break.
00:14:03.000That band was so instrumental in opening people's minds to the ideas of altered states of consciousness because they were so into meditation and they were always hanging out with weird gurus and shit.
00:14:17.000And they started off like these really sweet guys from England with cute haircuts making girls scream and then somewhere along they morphed into this spiritual injection machine.
00:14:28.000If you go to the White Album, if you became a fan of the Beatles, you became a fan of very strange alternate ways of thinking.
00:14:38.000At the time, if you were a fan morphing with them, you had to be pretty open-minded.
00:15:46.000Now I do, there's a guy who grabbed his guitar completely out of tune, like strum it on it a little bit, and literally in the box make it sound like he was doing something.
00:15:54.000Do you think that that cheapens music, or does it just give an artist more tools?
00:16:05.000But when it's just used to blatantly suck the light.
00:16:10.000We talk about something like, we'll listen to old records that were sampled and made into hip-hop records.
00:16:16.000Before we go on, I like to listen to a lot of old music when we play.
00:16:19.000So, we'll listen to the old versions of stuff, and then we'll put on new versions.
00:16:23.000And new versions, even though they're sampled or using pieces of that old version, they don't have the grease because it's not alive.
00:16:29.000There's not five guys locking up, playing it.
00:16:32.000It's like a machine, here's a piece, piece, piece, and then we repeat that piece, piece, piece, and then we repeat that piece, piece, piece.
00:16:37.000It sucks the life out of things sometimes, you know what I mean?
00:16:40.000It's good for club music, if you're just making drum machine club music, or hip-hop.
00:16:47.000It sounds good in clubs, but it doesn't have no grease.
00:16:54.000The first time I ever saw a rapper in a club was in Mexico.
00:17:53.000Unless, you know, you've got rappers and certain cats that use bands now, but it's like when you go and you see a show that has a band, there's things to see and watch and wonder about and like, wow, that sound and these guys are all doing crazy things.
00:18:06.000But when it's like just a DJ and a rapper, that can get boring real quick just watching it.
00:18:11.000So yeah, they just got to hit you and hit you and hit you and hit you.
00:18:14.000It's medley time is really what it is.
00:18:38.000I occasionally DJ a club here and there in Vegas when they throw out a couple dollars and I say I'm bored enough because I think it's fun, but...
00:19:15.000The party's got to be beginning like every five minutes.
00:19:17.000So it's different than doing your songs just in a live session.
00:19:21.000You're doing a totally different kind of show.
00:19:22.000Yeah, you come see me do an acoustic show, I take my motherfucking sweet time about it, man.
00:19:26.000I might even start mumbling while I drink whiskey and wind up telling a story I never meant to tell in the first place or something, you know what I mean?
00:19:45.000I like locking in with people and other musicians and us creating.
00:19:49.000They play my songs the way they should be played, but if you listen enough, different things happen every night, and we're all fitting in with different...
00:19:58.000Without changing the song, there's things going on that I'll be like, oh, I saw what you did right there.
00:20:06.000Or we'll all just black out and zone in some other place.
00:21:07.000Yeah, that aggression of rap music is like, I mean, there's never been an art form where people bragged about killing people and killing the police and just running around making millions of dollars on cocaine.
00:21:29.000I, for whatever reason, never had any desire to listen to any punk rock.
00:21:33.000I always, I mean, it's totally prejudiced, but I always associated everybody who was like a punk rock lover with misplaced anger, and I was like, I don't have time for this.
00:23:35.000You know, there's like art, punk art, punk fashion.
00:23:38.000So it's an expression, a rebellion, and admitting that you're or accepting and sort of being enthusiastic about the fact that you're rebelling against the system.
00:23:47.000I was from the Burbs, so I took it as a bunch of, like, angry Burbs kids that couldn't, like, do shit and express anything, so instead they just, like, you know, it was just, like, anger.
00:23:56.000Like what you said, misplaced anger, but it seeps into politics and shit like that.
00:25:31.000But I'm just saying, it's like you got to, at the purest form of what that music and where it came from, it's like, no, I'm not that guy that invented, you know, I didn't invent that.
00:26:37.000You know, at a certain point in time, you have to realize that these things that you're calling churches are weird patterns of behavior that were established by people thousands of years ago.
00:26:46.000And they have literally nothing to do with God.
00:26:48.000If there is a God, without a doubt, it has nothing to do with the bizarre behavior of these people that are claiming to represent Him.
00:26:54.000And no one person can be represented by God or whatever the idea of God is better than you can.
00:26:59.000We're all supposedly in this together, and as soon as you have leaders and people who are in charge of organizations with very specific rules, you've missed the boat completely.
00:27:08.000You know, you're in some weird cultish sort of a thing.
00:34:04.000Because there was a hardcore music movement.
00:34:06.000They called it hardcore after punk towards the end of it.
00:34:08.000I'll never forget how I found out about Nirvana.
00:34:10.000I was over at this dude's house that I used to buy stolen radios from.
00:34:14.000There was this one dude, if you needed a radio back then when I didn't understand karma, you know, you needed a radio from your car, you can get one from this kid who always had radios that he would just somehow or another get.
00:34:24.000And you didn't ask any questions, but you knew they were stolen.
00:34:27.000We were over his house and he was into music, this kid.
00:39:40.000But it's obviously very different than your acoustic sets, which are equally interesting.
00:39:44.000It's a weird thing that you could have two things that are completely different on the spectrum, but both have an equal impact because of their honesty.
00:39:54.000Whether it's a beautiful acoustic song that's really emotional, or whether it's that Rape Me song.
00:40:51.000For those gentlemen, but I'm telling you, they did not treat it like it was a private party that they could barely get there and barely do the show for.
00:42:03.000Gene seems like he keeps things in tight toe.
00:42:08.000The only time I was ever nervous at a comedy show because someone was in the audience, Gene Simmons came to see me on New Year's.
00:42:14.000And I was legitimately shit in my pants.
00:42:17.000Because when I was a kid, my uncle actually worked for Howard Marks Advertising, and they're the guys who used to make the ads and the album covers for Kiss.
00:42:26.000And so I met Ace Frehley when I was like six, seven years old, six years old.
00:43:01.000I saw him, I saw them when I was a kid.
00:43:04.000I saw them when I was like seven or eight years old, and I saw them again when I was like 25. Me and Kevin James, who's a huge Kiss fan, believe it or not.
00:43:11.000Kevin James is a huge Kiss fan, and me and Kevin James, we went to two shows.
00:43:16.000We went to two shows when they came back to LA with a full kiss with Peter Criss and Ace Frehley in makeup, and we were like, YES! Just complete, unapologetic dorks.
00:43:27.000We were reliving our childhood together, unapologetically, rocking out to a KISS concert.
00:43:34.000Bro-ing it to KISS. Yeah, I mean, he was air guitaring, and Kevin James is fun to go to a fucking KISS concert with, because he fucking sings the songs.
00:46:03.000All I know is I never got successful enough where anybody bothered to tell me to stop doing anything.
00:46:07.000Yo, write me a check not to do things?
00:46:10.000When they start writing you checks not to do things, you're doing something right, man.
00:46:13.000Well, I was never important enough in the equation where they asked me to not do something like it was going to fuck things up.
00:46:20.000I guess when Fear Factor came along, people were already sort of opening up to the idea that the world isn't exactly as we've been told and that there's a lot more variation in people than you would like to imagine.
00:47:19.000As Kevin is selling the squeaky clean family comedy, Hugh Grant was selling the really sweet boyfriend guy who's from England and would like to help you move.
00:47:40.000There's that too, but okay, you just reminded me of something.
00:47:43.000There's that English dude on CNN with the glasses who's still on, but like three years ago, the dude got caught in Central Park with meth in his pocket and a noose around his cock and all kinds of crazy shit.
00:51:04.000He does like really corny kind of stories, man.
00:51:06.000Maybe he's like, look, I'm under a lot of pressure.
00:51:08.000I have a feeling some, you know, maybe whoever he was going to meet with the meth and the noose around his cock might be his superior at his job or something.
00:53:18.000They get more in touch with their animal natures.
00:53:21.000Yeah, it's almost like with creating cities and spacing things out, putting doors in front of this, and you can lock that, and you're secure in this room.
00:53:29.000Instead of being all out in the open, we've slowly moved away from the primal instincts that have driven us to this point.
00:53:36.000But all you need is just remove those buildings, stuff everybody back in the trees again, and the same shit will start from scratch, like, really quick.
00:53:44.000The moment your kids start getting hungry, shit gets really fucking primal, real quick.
00:53:52.000Yeah, well, nobody wants to believe that, that our civilization is just a thin veneer covering ancient barbaric genetics.
00:53:59.000Our civilization in the last couple hundred years, really?
00:54:03.000But if you go back to the fucking race riots in the 60s and the 50s, like, isn't that, like, what kind of civilization is that?
00:54:09.000What kind of civilization where they were just, like, completely discriminating against someone for the color of their skin?
00:54:13.000With all the books that were available, like, they had decided these people were less and they were going to keep them out of certain bathrooms.
00:56:53.000For their health, for the health of the species.
00:56:55.000The idea of deer in total, the idea of large populations of deer and healthy animals breeding and surviving in the wild around us is a beautiful idea.
00:57:07.000If you don't manage their numbers, they just start breeding like crazy, and then you slam into them with cars, and then they run out of food.
00:57:35.000They reintroduced predators to Yellowstone and now they have real issues because of the decimation of the elk population and the deer population.
00:57:42.000There's like a fraction of the elk and deer that used to exist because they have these big packs of wolves now.
00:57:47.000And they're fucking successful because they don't have much competition.
00:57:50.000The grizzly bears don't know what the fuck's coming.
00:57:52.000You know, and the grizzlies are not trying to eat the wolves and the wolves aren't trying to eat the grizzlies and occasionally they have to fight over a carcass or something like that.
00:57:57.000But for the most part, There's a lot of shit that they're killing out there.
00:58:45.000That really is the question, because if you, you know, like I've said to certain people, like, you know, like, if everybody just had less children, the world would be a beautiful place.
00:59:20.000It seems right now, if everything stays like this, we got it.
00:59:23.000I saw something online that was like this little graphic thing, like when they were taking census, about like, every person on the planet supposedly could fit in the state of Texas with elbow room.
01:01:42.000It's like if you're a grown man and you have a family and you have a life to live, you have businesses to run and shit, like how much time do you have for beating off?
01:01:48.000So every time you do it, you feel like, what the fuck am I doing?
01:03:09.000I think that there are different rules.
01:03:11.000There's different rules for gay dudes because they only have to deal with dudes.
01:03:16.000Men clearly understand the intentions of other men, whereas men barely understand how a woman works.
01:03:23.000We understand how they work through experience, but as far as the actual mechanism of thinking the way they think, if you are thinking in your life and living your life and you're a man, it's probably virtually impossible to really understand what it's like to be a woman.
01:03:37.000So both of us are just trying to coexist and figure out what's okay and not okay, what gets you smacked.
01:09:00.000And whoever was in charge of that show is more than likely there's a couple of them that are gay and they'll be like, we're fucking with everybody right now.
01:09:06.000Well, they're making the movie that they want to see.
01:10:00.000What year did you come to Los Angeles?
01:10:03.000Originally, I was too young to even remember.
01:10:06.000My father was a construction worker, came from the East Coast during the whole, like, Palmdale, or Simi Valley first, and then Palmdale, like, explosion.
01:10:15.000So I came, and then I went back, because things kind of went poorly for him a little while, and then a year or so later, we came back, because he stayed, and, like, he was building, like I said, Simi Valley, and so I've been here since, you know, 70s.
01:11:54.000It's weird, because when you go there now, like the 405 all the way up to the 101 and the 101 all the way through Encino and shit, that thing is thick with people.
01:12:46.000There's studies that say that the more time passes, the more education...
01:12:51.000People receive, the more the economy bounces out, the less children people will have, and actually they run into a problem of the population slipping.
01:13:02.000I have heard that as well from people way fucking smarter than me on the subject.
01:13:06.000I love that Mike Judge movie, Idiocracy.
01:13:11.000Because it's like the smart people are deciding to have less babies and have them at the right time.
01:13:16.000It's like stupid people are just having fucking baby after baby after baby.
01:13:20.000They're actually saying that that's like a trend in society like that's what happens when cities start developing and people start getting educated and they start getting careers they have started having kids later and later and then literally you run into a situation where you could have like too few people like that could happen in industrialized nations but then you get places like China which is crazy fucked up because you have Like,
01:15:58.000So the baby died inside of her, and she stayed alive.
01:16:02.000And the baby never came out of her box.
01:16:04.000So it stayed inside of her body and calcified.
01:16:07.000And then she's in serious fucking pain, and she goes to the hospital, and they found out that she had been living with this calcified illness.
01:16:52.000It couldn't get all the way through, so it tried to stay alive inside of her body.
01:16:56.000And then her body just shut it down and then just started digesting it or changing it into calcifying it.
01:17:03.000I guess when your body finds something foreign inside of it, sometimes it'll coat it in materials that it creates, I guess, a naturally occurring thing.
01:17:16.000What if it's just in a cocoon and it's like this antichrist is about to creep out of it?
01:17:23.000Scientists listening to me describe that are probably fucking cringing right now and I apologize for being retarded.
01:18:38.000There's another spot that just threw all sizes out, and it's just like, well, we only have, like, the big, stupid, extra-large one now, because it's a dollar.
01:23:38.000They just showed you what was going on.
01:23:39.000They didn't give you any editorial flair to it, no narration.
01:23:42.000They just showed you what these people feel like they're doing, how they need to raise Christians in the same way these jihadists are being raised.
01:23:49.000You know, I mean, this woman compares suicide bombers, you know, and that they're starting them off young, so we need to start our Christian warriors off young, because they're right.
01:24:41.000So conservative Christians were like, you guys are going too fucking far.
01:24:45.000But these idiots, their idea was that if the jihadists do it and what they believe in is wrong, we should do the same thing because we're right.
01:24:53.000You're like, whoa, that's some fucking logic right there.
01:25:28.000Yeah, that scared me when I saw that the first time.
01:25:30.000Well, it's, you know, when you realize how easy it is to shape a child's mind, it becomes really scary.
01:25:36.000Not only that, but how many like-minded people said that's a good idea and started their own little version of that somewhere, you know what I mean?
01:25:44.000I mean, how many people are homeschooling their kid because they want their kid to be nutty and not influenced by the ridiculous Dems and Libs who are teaching in school?
01:25:52.000You know, there's a lot of people out there doing that.
01:26:34.000So that's like, I don't know how long that's going to be around for.
01:26:39.000I have a feeling that as internet access gets to more and more places and more people get educated, that kind of thinking is probably going to go away within the next 20 or 30 years.
01:26:48.000I really don't see how you can keep it up.
01:26:50.000It just seems to be at a certain point in time we're going to invent some sort of technology that's even more pervasive than just looking things up.
01:27:04.000I think there's going to be a next step in the evolution of technology that's going to allow you to access information without actually looking things up.
01:27:10.000You're going to be able to just get it in your head.
01:27:12.000However, show it somehow in your head.
01:27:14.000And when that happens, there's not going to be any room for this shit.
01:27:26.000About Transcendent Man and that documentary.
01:27:29.000Just talking about how technology evolves exponentially rather than linearly and how pretty soon we're going to have nanotechnology and all that whole conversation.
01:28:15.000He's like invented a bunch of different shit.
01:28:17.000It's just a constantly thinking super genius type character and picking his brain It's not like picking the brain of just some average asshole who's gonna like tell you some shitty read on Scientific America This is a guy who's actually making these discoveries.
01:28:31.000This is a guy who's actually been involved in many technological innovations that have like really benefited people in a big leap and Absolutely.
01:28:39.000And he's telling you about the future, and you're like, holy shit!
01:29:51.000And if you could download your consciousness into a hard drive, the guy's theory is basically you're going to live forever.
01:29:56.000It gets criticized, though, we should say.
01:29:58.000A lot of people say you're never going to be able to download consciousness, no hard drive.
01:30:01.000They say that the human personality is so complex and based on so many different factors, like how much hormones were in your system at a certain time?
01:30:28.000I mean, I guess if you could mathematically calculate how many bad times you want to inject into a person's consciousness and memory and then create them over like a gigantic computer process where you're literally inventing memories.
01:30:45.000Yeah, to give them this adaptive technology, you know, that allows them to pretend to have lived a rich and wonderful life, and then you get like this really wise old dude, but really someone, he made him in a lab, and it only took an hour, and they pop open the metal top,
01:31:01.000and he comes out all steamy and shit, and just dropping science on you with his fake brain.
01:32:03.000I'm not saying anything bad about him, but here's the story.
01:32:06.000We were playing in the Playboy Mansion for some charity event, and they come back to the backstage, and it's like, yo, the most interesting man here in the world is here, and he'd like to meet y'all.
01:32:14.000And we always loved those commercials.
01:32:16.000We were the clown on them all the time, so we're like, oh, fuck, yeah, he's got to come back here.
01:32:46.000All you have to do is be on a commercial with a bunch of hot chicks like that and like a yacht and a Ferrari and drinking and mountain climbing and you go somewhere and people just gravitate towards you.
01:32:56.000That's the dude who had all the cool shit in that show.
01:32:59.000Yeah, but you gotta be that guy, my friends.
01:33:12.000And then when I saw the commercial that night, I got home from the gig, and the commercial came on, and I realized the voice was overdubbed.
01:34:50.000I pushed him away a couple times, and he kept getting closer to me, and I was like, this guy's going to escalate, so I'm just going to grab him.
01:34:56.000So I just grabbed the back of his neck.
01:35:42.000He's got that fucking lockdown grip where they just...
01:35:45.000There's dudes who develop that fucking tightness to that hold where they slap that motherfucker on the back of your head, then they pinch down with the two forearms, and you're fucked, man.
01:36:31.000That combination, there's only been one combination as good as that, finishing a fighter with hands, and that's Phil Barone versus Dave Manet.
01:36:39.000Old school UFC. Have you ever seen that?
01:37:45.000And he went out full clip to try to finish him.
01:37:48.000Which, if you do, it puts you in a real bad position, gas tank-wise.
01:37:52.000And when your gas tank's done, when you thought you were going to kill the guy and the guy's still in front of you and you can't move, you can't move.
01:37:58.000But Alistair just kept moving forward, kept moving forward.
01:39:00.000And just because you don't feel your brain, just because you don't feel all that up there...
01:39:04.000Like, I would imagine your neural system has to fucking take a little bit of a break.
01:39:08.000It's got to heal up from something like that.
01:39:10.000So they give you, like, 90 days, like, before you're allowed to, like, when you get KO'd, they'll have, like, a certain amount of days.
01:39:16.000But how they can predict how one person's 90 days is the same as that 90 days, or, like, you know, Edson Barboza, Terry Adam 90 days, when he wheel-kicked homeboy and just starched him, like he got nailed by a sniper shot, just blam!
01:39:31.000That's a different kind of KO than a quick stoppage, but they're both 90 days.
01:39:36.000I think there's some significant injuries that happen, so that could be a part of what happened to him, too.
01:39:41.000You're dealing with a dude who's been knocked out at least eight times.
01:40:35.000The pituitary gland apparently is very sensitive.
01:40:38.000There's a guy named Dr. Mark Gordon...
01:40:41.000Who was a specialist and he worked with James Toney, he's worked with a bunch of football players and a bunch of people coming back from the war.
01:40:47.000Traumatic brain injury, one of the things that happens is your body loses its ability to produce hormones.
01:40:51.000And so a lot of guys who've taken head trauma, their test levels drop.
01:40:56.000So then it becomes the question of, okay, if you need to take testosterone because your test levels are dropping because you've taken a lot of head trauma, at what point in time are we going to keep you away from head trauma?
01:41:37.000Because it looks like some people get more than others.
01:41:39.000Some people, their bodies radically change, and all of a sudden they look like super athletes when they were kind of doughy just a couple of fights before.
01:41:46.000That's obviously something a little bit bigger than just bringing your levels up to a normal range.
01:43:15.000The idea that you can just put it in your body and then go out there and fight as if, like, you're so good, like, your body's producing that much testosterone.
01:46:05.000The inevitability of biological engineering.
01:46:07.000The inevitability that science, technology, all of them will combine because there's a massive market for figuring out how to make the human body work better.
01:46:15.000Kurzweil told me when I interviewed him that we are a decade away from inventing red blood cells that are artificial that will allow you to hold your breath for four hours.
01:46:23.000He said you'll be able to sit at the bottom of the pool for four hours, a regular person.
01:47:19.000Yeah, you're going to be able to fucking hold your breath underwater and walk across to Catalina.
01:47:23.000And all you have to do is get to the surface, take a deep breath, and go right the fuck back under, and you're good for another four hours.
01:48:03.000I mean it's not something I'm inventing with my imagination.
01:48:06.000This is like something that they've...
01:48:07.000It's a proof of concept idea that they're taking from like the laboratory and they're starting to try to see if they could actually develop this.
01:48:34.000Well, there's a dude named Rafael Dos Anjos, and he got his jaw broke in a fight, and now he said his jaw is a weapon because he's had so many titanium.
01:48:44.000He's got titanium plates and like eight screws in his jaw, and two dudes in a row have broken their hand on his jaw.
01:48:51.000Because he's like, my jaw's a weapon now.
01:49:21.000Everybody has a scar from the top of their head all the way down to their ass crack because they just fucking pulled you out of that bitch and put some fucking good fake bones on you and now you never get hurt.
01:49:31.000You just run around with fucking carbon fiber bones.
01:50:33.000If Everlast, if you were an alien from another planet, super smart, had your shit together totally, and you came to Earth, and you can do whatever the fuck you want.
01:50:49.000If you came upon, let me ask you this, if you came upon a village, and the village was run by a bunch of rabid monkeys, there was millions of them, they were fucking up everything, throwing shit at people, stealing candy, mugging babies, you would want to start killing monkeys, right?
01:51:04.000Well, monkeys are intelligent little animals.
01:51:06.000If something is so far advanced from us that it can get here from Alpha Centauri in a metal ship, who knows how they're going to think about us.
01:51:14.000They might look at us as like, oh this is this dangerous stage that a being gets when it's starting to transcend from its animal instincts into this This new emergent consciousness, this group consciousness that's inevitable for this species.
01:51:30.000Right now it's running around fucking shooting guns at each other and smashing each other on the highway and polluting things and dumping shit in the ocean and pulling out all the fish and leaving a giant garbage patch in the middle of the ocean going to punk rock shows and fucking Rage Against the Machine.
01:51:45.000Maybe they're like, oh, these bitches aren't ready.
01:52:17.000I could also be the alien that comes and looks at it like, well, there's this anthill, and it's in my garden, and it's kind of serving a purpose, but it's getting too big.
01:52:30.000So I just gotta stomp out half of these fucking animals.
01:52:34.000Maybe they just throw an asteroid our way.
01:52:36.000Maybe that's what fucked up the dinosaurs.
01:52:39.000Hey, all you gotta do is change the degrees of the planet by three in either direction, and the whole world's fucked.
01:53:19.000Like, put a plastic bag in it like you're gonna use real trash, put a bunch of walkie-talkies and stuff of the like in there, close the plastic bag, tie it up, bang, put the lid back on it, and tape that motherfucker, seal it shut somehow, and like, if you ever did have that electromagnetic pulse, those things would still be good afterwards.
01:55:49.000Our life is not set up organically right now.
01:55:52.000Our life is set up to revolve around the grid.
01:55:55.000And until people develop as much food and as much access to food organically as they do by getting things shipped and carrying them from here and there...
01:56:04.000If you're not responsible for the production and cultivation of your own food, which most people don't have the opportunity to be...
01:58:50.000Yeah, I would trade my grandmother for somebody else, you know?
01:58:53.000Like, hey, you can have my grandmother to eat, I'll take your daughter.
01:58:56.000They're obviously not doing it to enjoy it, you know?
01:58:59.000Yeah, it's just, I guess somehow or another, I think they're consuming something of the person that brings them closer to that person or something, or just finalizing the idea in their mind that they're gone.
02:00:09.000It was like a voice that was just familiar, comfortable, kind of like your grandfather's voice, but I wouldn't say it was my grandfather's voice, but you understand what I'm saying.
02:00:56.000A lot of people that have gone through that said that.
02:00:58.000But, you know, the fractal nature of the universe, I mean, I don't know why it's so weird for people to think that something happens after they die.
02:01:04.000Like you showed up at your grandpa's house too early for your own surprise party.
02:05:50.000I mean, I've done acoustic stuff at radio stations and stuff, but when I came in here and did it, people started actually calling and booking shows for it.
02:07:31.000As soon as you're born, they make you feel small By giving you no time instead of it all Until pain is so big that you can't feel it all A working class hero is something big A working
02:08:01.000class hero is something to be They hurt you at home, they hit you in school They hear when you're clever,
02:08:21.000they despise a fool Until you're so fucking crazy you can't follow that rule.
02:08:33.000A working class hero is something to be.
02:08:40.000A working class hero is something to be.
02:08:52.000They torture and scare you for 20 odd years Now they expect you to pick a career But you can't even function,
02:09:09.000you're so filled with fear A working class hero is something to be A working class hero is something B They keep you doped with religion and sex and TV And
02:09:41.000you think you're so clever and classless and free But you're all fucking business as far as I see.
02:09:55.000A working class hero is something B. A working class hero is something B. There's room at the top,
02:10:26.000But first you must learn how to smile as you kill.
02:10:37.000You wanna be like the folks on the hill.
02:10:45.000A working class hero is something to be A working class hero is something to be If you want a real hero then don't follow me If you want a real hero then come follow me If you want a real hero
02:12:09.000There's only 10 of them that are that good, that are out there, that point shit out like that, and are honest about how they feel about shit.
02:12:14.000Like, his take on John Leno, like, you fucking crazy cunt, why are you yelling out?
02:12:20.000I'm here singing with Chuck fucking Barry.
02:13:00.000Saying that about a movie that's about a gay dude who's a gay pimp who's just giving these dudes amphetamines and banging them and playing piano and making hundreds of millions of dollars.
02:13:33.000Put on that video, when Liberace winks at me.
02:13:38.000Because you know, for the longest time, and I've played this before, I apologize to people who have heard this podcast, and they listen to everyone, they go, you gonna play that fucking song again?
02:13:45.000The only reason being is because Everlast is here.
02:13:47.000I just want you to see, from a cultural standpoint, how strange things must have been in the 1950s, where this was like a real thing.
02:13:53.000There was a woman, she was writing a letter to the Liberace fan club.
02:13:57.000Because she's a huge fan of Liberace now.
02:13:59.000And she goes crazy and swoons when Liberace winks at her.
02:14:03.000And so there's Liberace playing piano on the TV, and she's sitting there writing her letter and swooning.
02:15:31.000I saw Joey Diaz talk about the movie first, and then I see him talk about it backstage, like when he was in the green room and we were dying laughing when he was talking about Liberace slinging dick, you know, like hypnotizing motherfuckers.
02:16:40.000I'm interested in human beings and strange human characters.
02:16:43.000And that was an incredibly strange human character.
02:16:45.000And the only thing that kept me from looking into him in the past was, like, that weirdness about, like, doing a lot of research on a gay guy.
02:16:52.000Like a really obvious, like, why do you care about gay guys?
02:17:38.000The gangster rappers, they copied Liberace.
02:17:44.000It was Liberace first, then Mr. T. All the B-Boy jewelry stuff, man, and even probably Liberace style, it comes from old Jewish ladies, man.
02:19:26.000Yeah, there's a lot of fall-offs even with those doo-wop bands back in the day.
02:19:29.000Everyone only remembers one or two groups.
02:19:31.000Well, the cat like Jay, too, he started independently, selling his own records and then came into the record business as his own full partner.
02:19:40.000A lot of these cats, they got what's called a 360 deal nowadays.
02:20:13.000Say if you came along right now, those are the only deals that are available?
02:20:17.000Pretty much unless you've got something going on already.
02:20:20.000Like, unless you already have developed yourself a scene and you're earning on your own level, I'm sure you can go work yourself a deal somewhere.
02:20:44.000I know a group that the guy, the head singer, it's a group, fits in the tantrums, and this head singer supposedly just saved up a bunch of money and used his life savings to spearhead his group.
02:21:14.000But if you're just some nobody, you're doing pageants or something like that, whatever, and you want to be famous, they're going to be like, whoa.
02:21:23.000What are you trying to do in the music business?
02:21:25.000Right, so if you're trying to do Star Search.
02:21:27.000If you want to be rich and famous, you're not going out and grinding it out in dirty clubs for 10 years.
02:21:35.000If you want to be rich and famous, you're taking whichever route you can get there.
02:23:50.000Because there's a crazy documentary about Coca-Cola in South America being involved in all these sanctioned hits and guerrilla warfare and shit down there.
02:27:02.000It says, your Twitter name, you call yourself Black Beauty?
02:27:05.000Yeah, I'm with this guy, D.Y., we're all getting high, and once again, all bad stories start with that, and he's like, oh yeah, your hair is like...
02:27:13.000I'm going to call your hair Black Beauty, man.
02:27:15.000And so why did you just say, alright, guess what I'm called now?
02:27:19.000Because, you know, I'm just like, fuck it.
02:28:28.000Her skin was salty sweet She wore sandals on her feet Side by side we fell asleep in her mother's bed She stepped inside of me Said don't ever lie to me This heart of mine can be yours Yeah that's what she said But I just played the role Broke the heart I stole.
02:29:00.000Cause I was young and dumb and fucked up in the air.
02:29:26.000Now I'm down by the river I'm taking off my shoes I'm jumping in water I wash away these blues I narrowed into the ocean The current takes hold Words already been spoken Tales already been told Hearts already been broken Wounds have already
02:31:12.000And I just loved the way that she lit up every time she spoke.
02:31:19.000She healed to ease my pain She stayed through pouring rain And I gave her all that she could take Until she broke She fit me like a glove She told me how to love And for some ass I watched it all go up in smoke Do
02:34:43.000You know, rock stars can do pyrotechnics, and they can also, like, other rock stars can do pyrotechnics, but there's never been a comedian that does pyrotechnics until Kevin did it.
02:37:01.000I was in a band, so I was a Monty Python fan.
02:37:04.000So in bands, you just I think it was a nerdy thing to be into when we were young, because honestly, I won't front.
02:37:12.000I knew some kids that played Dungeons and Dragons type stuff, and I got involved with them, but that's how I found Bonnie Python was through them kids, because there was a thing called The Quest for the Holy Grail that was like a movie.
02:42:34.000Speaking of that stuff about how there wasn't stuff like that around back then, I love how now, like, you know, I watch that show, like, occasionally on Star of Spartacus.
02:42:42.000And they'll, like, have, like, a hand-to-hand battle, and all of a sudden it's, like, transitions of jiu-jitsu rolling into arm bars and a chokehold, and it's like, what the fuck?
02:43:00.000The evolution of Jiu-Jitsu has changed so much since the UFC 1, since 1993. But if you go back to the old school days with Hicks and Gracie, they had all the techniques.
02:43:11.000The level wasn't as high as it is today.
02:43:36.000He was in some weird zone where you would talk about everybody, like, oh, this guy's real good, this guy's real good, and then there's Hickson.
02:44:06.000They didn't stay alive long enough to learn how to fight like that.
02:44:08.000You die when you're 24 with a fucking sword in your stomach.
02:44:11.000The idea that you knew how to transition to a triangle and then roll for an omoplata and then take side control, full mount, head and arm choke, skip to the side.
02:44:27.000I wonder, I used to watch Deadwood, but it used to bum me out when they sweared so much because I can't believe they swore that much back then.
02:44:34.000Because they didn't swear that much in the 50s and the 60s.
02:44:37.000Like, why am I supposed to believe they swore that much in the 1800s?
02:45:08.000He swore it, rolled off his tongue as if there was just a...
02:45:11.000I swear to God, the first time I saw an interview with that guy and he spoke in an English fucking accent, I was just like, no fucking way.
02:48:12.000Everybody jump around Everybody jump around Everybody jump around From town to town From bed to bed It's like I said We jump around Everybody jump around I'll serve your ass like John McEnroe.
02:48:34.000If your girl step up, I'll still smack that hoe.