The 500th episode of the Joe Rogan Experience is here, and it's a doosey 400th episode, which means it's time to celebrate! On this episode, Joe talks about the recent incident where a man got into a fight with his wife after a night out drinking. Also, the government shutdown is still going on, and we talk about why it's not a good idea to use music in the middle of a commercial, and why you shouldn't even be offended by it. Joe also talks about how he's going to sue the alcohol companies that made him do it, and how they should pay for a breathalyzer, because he should be able to sue them for making him do something he shouldn't be responsible for. Finally, he talks about why he doesn't want to go to jail and why he's not going to do anything he shouldn t do anything that makes him feel like he's responsible for doing anything he does. This episode is brought to you by LegalZoom, Stamps, and Deskwiz. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts and leave us a rating and review! Subscribe, review, and tell a friend about what you think of the show! We'll be looking out for you in next week's mailbag! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Music by Nordgroove. Thank you so much for all your support, and thanks for all the love, support, support and support! Joe Rogans and all the hard work that goes into making this podcast. and so much more! - Thank you for being a good show. XOXOXO. - - The Crew at Rogans. xoxo Thanks for listening, XO & Cheers, J. Rogan Thank You, J.R. & The Crew for all of your support and love, Brian Rogan. . Cheers! ( ) (J. Rogans: , J. R. ROGAN @ J. , JRE ? & J.Y. & Thank You . . & P. J.V. (ROGAN: ) & is ! AND P. S.
00:00:27.000I think there's one still floating around out there.
00:00:29.000The big guy dropped off at 27. This episode, this 400th episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast is brought to you by LegalZoom.com.
00:00:39.000If you have anything that you need to get done a legal style, like whether you want to incorporate and become an LLC... Which is a limited legal corporation or some shit.
00:00:52.000I don't know what the fuck that actually stands for.
00:00:55.000If you want to get a will, if you want to even get divorced, bam, you can get divorced on LegalZoom.com.
00:01:03.000Essentially what it does is it sets up a structure so that you can do things, things like incorporating yourself or working on copyrights or trademarks, and do it legally without the use of an attorney.
00:01:15.000They also will provide you with a contact for an independent attorney if you need additional guidance.
00:01:21.000So if you feel like you're entering into this, you're like, maybe I can do this.
00:01:25.000And then halfway through, you're like, shit!
00:03:57.000Use the code word JRE and get your $110 bonus offer.
00:04:01.000We know it works because Brian uses it so much better than going to the post office and having to weigh all your shit out and talk to people that don't want to talk to you.
00:04:43.000Anyway, Stamps.com, code words J-R-E. We're also brought to you by Onnit.com.
00:04:47.000That's O-N-N-I-T. Use the code name ROGAN. You will save 10% off any and all supplements, including Alpha Brain, which Joey Diaz is on right now.
00:05:39.000But if you want to try it, there's a 90-day, 30-pill money-back guarantee.
00:05:44.000When you buy one of these bottles, one of these bottles of 30 pills, all you have to do is say, this stuff sucks, and you get your money back.
00:08:59.000But doesn't that follow that same rule that guy told you, like, don't take too much of, you know, like, boner pills or something like that?
00:09:04.000Yeah, well, it's really, I would say yes.
00:09:16.000You know what's going to happen because of this?
00:09:17.000You're going to be watching CNN.com and you're going to hear about some psychopath wandering into D.C. with a shotgun and then pictures of Alpha Brain are going to start flashing up.
00:09:28.000He had 700 bottles in the backseat of his car.
00:10:23.000If you encourage that in any way, shape, or form, and then it somehow becomes a reality, like someone decides to make sport of killing babies because it's a part of a video game, it's going to be a real problem.
00:10:34.000How fucking crazy is this happening now every three weeks, people?
00:11:51.000They were talking about rat population density studies.
00:11:53.000They did the same thing with rats, where they started them small, put like 100 rats in a room together, or 10 rats or whatever, and they just kept ramping it up until they were on top of each other.
00:12:05.000And when they're on top of each other, they started exhibiting the same sort of mental illnesses that you see in people.
00:12:10.000Like they stand in the corner and would just shake and rock back and forth.
00:13:36.000There's a lot of people out there that feel disenfranchised.
00:13:39.000There's a lot of people out there that don't feel like they can make a dent in this world unless they do something really bad.
00:13:49.000There's people out there that feel like to get notice and to get people to recognize them, they can do that if they do something really bad.
00:14:08.000You might be around friends or even just talking to your brother or something and you have this impulse where you want to say, I love you, man.
00:14:39.000There's also this weird transitionary period the human race is going into as we get more and more information on a daily basis from the internet.
00:14:47.000It's more and more obvious that the world we live in is fucked.
00:15:02.000If it was just us on the planet and we were the only people that we interacted with, we'd have a great time.
00:15:06.000So why is it that when you get massive amounts of people, all of a sudden there's all this death and there's all this fucking fighting and there's all this chaos and there's all this lawsuits and bullshit and...
00:18:03.000And legally, people can't ask you what your disability is.
00:18:07.000So it's like, because when you see somebody with a chihuahua, it might cross your mind to think, how is this thing going to help them if they start having a seizure?
00:18:20.000So, like, we started saying that we were doing that, and then, man, got some emails from people who are disabled, and they're like, You have to understand, I have to have this dog.
00:18:33.000Like, it's trained to either guide me, it's trained to, like, help me if I have a seizure, and every time you assholes put one of those fake vests on a fucking dog so that you can go and eat in a nice restaurant with it, you're making it that much more difficult for me to do it,
00:18:50.000because people are getting increasingly suspicious and increasingly suspicious, where they used to not be at all.
00:18:55.000So just leave your fucking dog at home if you want to go eat pasta.
00:19:25.000They're rubbing their little asses on chairs and that ass on the chair could have worms in it and the microscopic worms could get in my hand.
00:21:42.000It's real tricky to decide what medication is right for anybody.
00:21:47.000I think it's real tricky to try to figure out how another person's mind works.
00:21:51.000And that seems to be the issue that they have when they're prescribing those medications in the first place.
00:21:55.000When our friend was on them, I think one of the things that came up was that they had to constantly change his dose and give him different stuff.
00:23:05.000What it did was it did produce this...
00:23:09.000Feeling that I now associate with when I'm being really healthy like when I'm Meditating a lot or exercising regularly eating right or when I get all my ducks in a row this nice clear Tranquility will generally come over things that I'm not my mind isn't reactive when any weird shitty thing happens It's like you just are sort of at this nice tranquil level it kind of kind of reproduce that and At the cost of not being able to have orgasms.
00:23:38.000And then I just stopped taking it and went out in the woods because I was working in the summer camp.
00:23:44.000Went out in the woods for a shot load like a donkey with a cattle prod up his ass.
00:24:51.000When you're young, especially when you're young and single, especially if you're trying to stay single, like you're trying to be focused in your career.
00:26:15.000Because every time there's a stupid article or something on Twitter and on the media, we get fucking Twitter from people across the country like haters.
00:26:24.000Hey man, they're going to shut the fucking stores down.
00:27:10.000And these dummies, these, by the way, who are the same dummies who are anti-drugs, it's almost like secretly they want drugs to be legal and the only way they can go about it is to have the government completely collapse so that they can't regulate them anymore and then the drugs will take over and the drugs will let them understand how they've fucked up the entire country with their cunty egos.
00:28:11.000It was just something else you smoked.
00:28:13.000It was so common and so normal and so used as a textile and a commodity.
00:28:19.000It was so important to the making of clothes and for all sorts of different things that they had before they came out with the decorticator.
00:28:28.000When they came out with the decorticator, It led them to be able to process this shit really fucking easy.
00:28:34.000And all the difficulty that they had with processing in the past was gone.
00:28:38.000One machine completely figured out how to take this hemp and instantly turn it into what you could use for paper, building materials.
00:28:46.000Henry Ford made his first fucking car.
00:29:13.000He controlled all these, like, he made, he had forests, and these forests would chop down this wood and use it to make paper.
00:29:20.000He was going to have to convert all that to hemp.
00:29:22.000Like, popular science was saying hemp, the new billion dollar crop, like, they got it in because of the actual, the applications for, like, clothing and nylon and fuel.
00:29:57.000Like, we're running around with the fucking internet with cold syrup and alcohol and fucking antidepressants and everything else, and to this day, one of the best plants that's ever existed on this planet for people is illegal.
00:30:28.000There's nothing else you can eat, make houses with, make clothes with, and that motherfucker's illegal.
00:30:33.000It's going to be interesting seeing that population growth for the places that are legal now, and seeing if there's a growth in music and arts, like if Portland becomes the new Seattle in just two years.
00:31:26.000And if you look at it not just from the economic perspective of why people economically might want to ban it, but also from the consciousness level, because the state that induces is one of deep introspection, and if you consider capitalism And the effects of it,
00:31:47.000like what you just said, and you really explore, like, shit, do I want to be...
00:31:50.000Do I want to subscribe to this system that has actually thrown people in jail for growing a thing that used to be, like, one of the number one substances used?
00:32:02.000That's the kind of thoughts that come to your mind when you're high, along with a lot of other stuff.
00:32:05.000Like, man, I think I'm a fucking asshole.
00:32:07.000Did I really just say that to whoever I said that to?
00:32:28.000And also, if you get super stoned and just get into a messy room, You'll start organizing the fucking room, generally.
00:32:35.000You'll start cleaning and scrubbing because you're externalizing what it's doing to you on the inside, which is organizing all these disparate aspects of your personality and forcing you to at least acknowledge it, if not work on it.
00:32:49.000And does that kind of balancing agent work with a society based on denial and a society based on ignoring the fact that the whole thing functions by evaporating human beings and stealing their land?
00:33:02.000Do you really want a drug that produces that level of understanding in the bloodstream of the population?
00:37:18.000I think he bit slapped two or three people.
00:37:20.000But the best thing he did was, we used to do acid.
00:37:24.000When we first started smoking weed in the eighth grade, we'd go behind a soccer field in North Bergen, and he let us blow smoke into his afro and see the smoke come out.
00:39:38.000And me and my friend Josh and this girl that I was dating, we smoked this shit.
00:39:43.000And we smoked way too much for 15-year-olds, whatever we were.
00:39:48.000And we wound up waking up in various parts of the house, like blink, like blink, it's never happened to me before, but like blink, all of a sudden I'd be on the couch.
00:39:58.000Blink, all of a sudden I'd be in front of the refrigerator.
00:40:01.000Like blink, all the time in between the blinks, missing.
00:40:21.000So what I would think it was, was I got so high that I would say, you know what, I need to just get into the kitchen and maybe get something to eat and maybe it'll calm this down.
00:40:56.000I didn't smoke weed again for several years after that.
00:40:58.000The first time you get high, you really don't get that zonked.
00:41:01.000It's the second or third time, and then you're outside, and you really start to understand that you end up in a bowling alley buying a chocolate milk.
00:42:44.000Get 60 people and chairs and couches and just fucking come out on stage and give everybody a joint and a table in the middle with joints and just do time to all those joints I got.
00:42:55.000Well, you know, there's a couple places you can do that in Toronto.
00:46:17.000Well, he had that great bit about the son at the football game that the dad works out with the son, does all this thing with the son, and then finally, you know, the cameras turn on him, and he's like, Hi, Mom.
00:51:24.000What we do is we'll have a subject and it's so much easier the way we do comedy because you have a subject and your subject is like the Liberace bit that you're doing now.
00:51:35.000He'll start on that Liberace movie and he can talk about that fucking movie for 15 minutes.
00:51:40.000It's a whole series of hilarious things that exist inside of this one subject.
00:51:46.000But if you're a Mitch Hedberg guy, it's like essentially you're talking about one thing, and then you're talking about Oreo cookies, and then you're talking about heroin, whatever.
00:51:55.000And all the bullets you've got to have in your gun.
00:51:57.000You've got to have so many jokes for an hour set if each of your jokes is eight seconds.
00:52:14.000That guy was one of the most prolific guys.
00:52:18.000You know, like, you always heard about him writing a lot of material.
00:52:21.000Yeah, I heard somebody say they would write with him, and they would go meet him to write, and they would have, like, maybe one shitty, half-thought-out joke written down, and he would have, like, 20 just hilarious jokes.
00:52:35.000He's one of those comics kids that just pours out of him.
00:53:31.000What we should be doing is promoting the art of stand-up.
00:53:34.000If somebody wants to take a course and they're not a comedian and they just want to find out what it's like and sit in, then I could see maybe charging them.
00:53:42.000But someone who's actually a comedian, trying to be a comedian, there's that.
00:53:46.000So the idea of teaching a class kind of goes against the whole way of camaraderie that we all enjoy.
00:54:12.000What you're saying reminds me a lot of what people say about...
00:54:16.000Like Buddhism or spirituality is that they say, you know, you can't read this.
00:54:25.000This isn't something like, you can read all you want, but it's not going to teach you.
00:54:29.000It's the practice of the thing itself that teaches you.
00:54:32.000So, like, when I went down to hang out to this Ram Dass retreat, and there was this Zen Roshi there, this woman who's been practicing Zen for, like, I don't know, her whole life, basically.
00:54:43.000And she said that the teacher does not give the student enlightenment, but sets the conditions, creates a good condition for realization.
00:54:54.000So in the same way, I think you could have a comedy class, but the comedy class isn't something where you tell someone, here's how you hold the mic, and here's the way you write a joke, and here's how you get booked at clubs.
00:55:05.000It's more like Here's an environment that is conducive to coming up with ideas and jokes.
00:55:12.000Some kind of free-form chaotic place where people just get together and...
00:55:17.000I guess, you know, get to be around people like you or like, you know, Cosby or big comics.
00:55:24.000Because somehow just being around a very funny person for a little bit of time can teach you so much.
00:55:30.000But the actual mechanics of the thing, the technical aspects of it, that's, I think, where comedy classes are at.
00:55:37.000I'm going to tell you this sincerely from my heart that, as you were saying it, and Joe's going to agree with me because we're both on the same page.
00:55:44.000I would have loved if somebody would have taken my hand in the beginning.
00:55:50.000And there's a lot of things that I could take a new comic that we, all three of us, all four of us, everybody in the room, could take a new comic and walk him around for a couple weeks with him, three, four weeks, and explain this.
00:56:02.000After that, it's like anything else, man.
00:56:51.000So because of that, you're allowed to figure out, and I don't know if that's ever going to be You almost have to struggle uniquely and individually to become a Duncan Trussell.
00:57:02.000It's almost like if you get advice, they're never going to figure out that this is possible, that you could be you.
00:57:09.000If you met with someone when you were 20 years old, and you're like, Duncan, what would you like to do someday?
00:57:13.000I like to smoke pot, play video games, I like to write about my penis, I would like to go on stage and make people laugh, and that's really it.
00:57:29.000Instead of saying, oh, so many people have done that before, no one is ever going to be able to figure out how to make a Duncan Trussell except Duncan Trussell.
00:57:36.000Well, I think some people, I think comedians, there are tendencies in comedians.
00:57:41.000There are similarities in comedians, right?
00:57:43.000Wouldn't you say there's things in comics, not material-wise, but there are aspects of comedians that all seem to be the same.
00:57:51.000One is they're They tend to be very anti-authoritarian.
00:57:54.000So when you tell them what to do, when you tell them this is what you have to do, they inevitably want to reject that, overcome it, disrupt it, make fun of it.
00:58:06.000And I think that tendency starts when you're really young.
00:58:10.000And if that tendency is in you, you're going to have a hard fucking time anyway getting a regular job.
00:58:19.000In college, there was a career class we had to go to.
00:58:22.000And I can remember sitting there and listening to the guy talk about having to wear suits and talking about the way you talk to your boss and talking about the way to be polite in the workplace.
00:58:36.000You know what happens when you listen to that guy?
00:58:39.000You wind up at a restaurant with your date and some asshole actor starts telling your date that she's an old soul and you just take it.
00:58:49.000The essence of the thing is just lay on your belly and submit to the master.
00:58:54.000Just the very same thing that like when you see a mother dog, like our dog had puppies and I remember watching the mother dog play with the puppies and part of the thing it seemed like she was teaching them was to like show their belly to like turn over on their belly.
00:59:08.000That's the essence of the fucking thing.
00:59:10.000It's like obedience, subservience, submission.
00:59:13.000Well, it's the only way you're ever going to get by in life with a regular job.
00:59:16.000The only way to get by in life, if you want to move your way up the corporate ladder, you have to follow the rules.
00:59:52.000Show obedience to your boss or your teacher.
00:59:56.000Yeah, Google is the perfect example of how to do a corporation.
00:59:59.000I mean, we joke around about them being Skynet, but the reality of Google is they've managed in a short period of time to keep a lot of fucking employees happy.
01:00:19.000Has anybody ever kicked ass on the internet the way Google has?
01:00:23.000And yet, they're really cool to their employees.
01:00:26.000If you go there, their employees got fucking foosball tables and shit and really good food, and they have a real comfortable working environment.
01:00:35.000There's a dude that works there who's decided at work he wants to be a girl.
01:00:40.000So he's a guy, he's married, he's got kids, but at work, he puts on women's clothes, and they change the title, his title at work, to what his girl name is.
01:02:19.000With those crazy shoes you wear and you can't walk in.
01:02:21.000Yeah, you know, one thing that is probably certain, but I guess I'll find out in a second, is that those fucking shoes were not invented by a woman, right?
01:02:30.000Like, whoever invented high heels wasn't a woman.
01:02:33.000No person was like, you know what, I'm gonna put myself in uncomfortable stilts that warp my feet.
01:02:40.000I'm gonna put myself in the most uncomfortable shoe wear.
01:04:21.000Alright, the first instance of the wear of high heels involved 1533 marriage between Catherine de Murti and the Duke of Orleans.
01:04:31.000She wore heels made in Florence for her wedding, and as a result, Italian high heels became the norm for the ladies in the Duke's court in France.
01:04:39.000Unfortunately, this reference may be apocryphal.
01:04:46.000As the development of heels did not begin to come about until the late 1580s based on an iconographic evidence.
01:07:56.000But then I got a second chance to audition for her a couple months after that, and the Todd sat next to her on purpose and just laughed and laughed, and he kept slapping the table and saying that I was funny.
01:08:07.000Because sometimes Mitzi needs to hear from other people too.
01:11:07.000I don't think anything can fuck with Freebird.
01:11:09.000And we were playing Freebird, and we were just getting into the song about how crazy it was.
01:11:13.000There's these dirty, stinky, long-haired dudes from Florida who are making this insane music, and all their songs were about getting away from girls.
01:11:41.000It's so funny that we're writing songs about this ancient evolutionary thing encoded in our genetics, which is that you want to put as much DNA into as many people as you can.
01:12:37.000And when you have two systems that are dueling it out, one trying to dominate the other, one trying to find a way through, whether it's through certain new words they introduce into the lexicon or the language, whether it's how they interact with each other.
01:12:56.000But what they're trying to do is everyone's trying to get a little bit ahead.
01:12:59.000Men are trying to get a little bit ahead of women.
01:13:01.000Women are trying to get a little bit ahead of men.
01:13:03.000Women who feel suppressed will try to suppress others.
01:13:05.000Men who feel suppressed will try to do the same.
01:13:07.000And there's this crazy battle going on.
01:13:11.000And I think it's almost like designed that way.
01:13:23.000Yeah, I think that's a very positive spin on it, man.
01:13:25.000I should say right now, that's not to discount any of the Europeans, Japanese, Asians, whatever, all the people all over the world that do creative shit.
01:13:33.000But there's no denying the fact that the United States is responsible for an insane amount of influential pop culture.
01:13:47.000Of course the Europeans, of course the Beatles and the Stones, and of course the Who, of course.
01:13:54.000There's no denying that there was a million of them from the UK as well.
01:13:57.000But when you count in stand-up comedy, when you count in music, all different kinds of music, there's a lot of weird shit that came out of the United States.
01:14:15.000The need to conquer the crazy genetics that led to these people being willing to get in ships and go halfway across the fucking world in a boat with fucking barrels of food that might be enough for everybody to eat and you might not get scurvy and you don't even have a fucking video that you can watch of what this place where you're gonna try to live in looks like and you're going over there with your kids.
01:16:12.000If you're some fresh-faced pup who's never skid his knee and never had a family member die, you don't know what the fuck the possibilities of the world are.
01:16:21.000You can't appreciate the full spectrum because you don't know how low the lows can get.
01:16:27.000So when you do hit a low, it makes you appreciate the days that are high.
01:16:32.000You know, I was just reading this book called Cutting Through Spiritual Materialism and it's by this Tibetan monk named Chogyam Trungpa who was just writing about this thing that you're saying and he was saying disappointment.
01:16:49.000Disappointment is one of the great states to be in for growth and for spirituality because disappointment means you're having a contact with truth.
01:17:00.000It generally means you're having a contact with truth.
01:17:02.000Something has gone against your expectation, which is how the universe works, and then you find yourself in what he describes as like just the rocky terrain of truth.
01:17:11.000So now the relationship that you thought might work out, but you knew it wouldn't, it didn't.
01:17:21.000You're experiencing the fact that you are in a maelstrom of atoms that will inevitably dissipate into nothingness.
01:17:28.000And that is a really intense fucking place to be in.
01:17:32.000But he doesn't say stay in a place of disappointment.
01:17:35.000He says that to move past that place into the next place, which is the incredible peace and joy that comes from recognizing that you're part of this infinite, non-ending Changing, beautiful thing, you've got to recognize the first part,
01:18:28.000And if you're with someone you love and you think, I'm going to be with this person forever, you're setting yourself up for some pretty severe disappointment.
01:20:25.000You know, man, I think it's a crazy ride, but I think if you have been blasted out of a pussy onto this planet, you're having a crazy ride.
01:21:49.000But whenever I hear him talk about people being addicted to weed, I'm like, let's get all those people that are addicted to it in a room and find out what the fuck else is going on.
01:21:56.000I guarantee you, you shouldn't blame weed.
01:21:59.000It's not a physically addictive thing.
01:23:33.000Guys, out of all the addictions, whether it's going to strip clubs, drinking, gambling, I could have been hooked on a thousand fucking things.
01:25:57.000But the reality is, is that this guy, in the video, drives over, they're yelling at him, and he drives over this bike and drives over a guy and broke his body.
01:26:08.000I mean, the guy, he drove over him with a fucking SUV. I don't know if that had to have happened.
01:26:24.000Besides my horrible racist Asian joke, which I apologize for profusely, I was just joking around and making a point, but I don't know what happened.
01:26:33.000So what I'm looking at, I look at a guy who drove over somebody, and then I looked at another guy who went insane and beat the guy's window in while he has a baby in the car.
01:26:41.000So to me, it says tragedy on both sides.
01:28:40.000I think I get something out of it that I don't get out of video games.
01:28:43.000I get a body calmness, because it's all about...
01:28:47.000Meditating on the distance that the ball is going to go and calming yourself down and putting yourself into a very sensitive state where you're playing.
01:29:47.000At all-time great pool halls for pool hustlers in action, that's the greatest, or one of the greatest, next to hard times in California, one of the greatest in the history of the world.
01:30:12.000They would get you on those tables, especially what they would call a gaff table.
01:30:15.000There's a table where one pocket rolls to the right, and if you know that pocket rolls to the right, you could put someone in a position where they don't think they can make the ball, but they can, and you know it.
01:30:24.000Little shit things like you can scratch on shots where you don't think you can.
01:30:27.000If you know a table, especially what they call a gaff table, it's huge.
01:30:31.000Very important if you're a pool player.
01:30:42.000Both the drunks getting robbed by the hustlers and then the real big sharks come in and they would match up and put the money on the light and You know, you're in the middle of fucking New York City, dude.
01:30:54.000It's 4 o'clock in the morning and dudes are playing for $10,000.
01:30:57.000And when you're a kid and you're watching that, you know, it's some exciting shit.
01:31:01.000That was a part, for me, it was like being a part of this really rare underground society that I knew was not going to last very long.
01:31:09.000I'm like, this crazy 24-hour pool hall life where people are players and they're gambling and they're bringing their own money and they're matching up and barking at each other.
01:34:28.000You know, when you made that turn on 42nd Street, it was, when you were 13 or 12, it was something that, Ari says that when you walk around today, you walk past people.
01:34:40.000You know, and all of a sudden, under their breath, they'll go, weed.
01:34:44.000And like five feet, you look around, they look at you, and all of a sudden, they come back up to you.
01:35:25.000It's like some faux pool hall now where they have red cloth and fucking shiny lights and they play horrible music that makes you want to throw up.
01:35:34.000If you go to a pool hall and not play in classic rock, turn around.
01:36:54.000If they were in the New York area, there were a few places they would play.
01:36:57.000One of them was they would always check in an executive.
01:37:00.000My buddy owned the place, so he'd be on the phone.
01:37:03.000They'd get a call in the middle of the day.
01:37:06.000He's polishing balls and shit, and he'd get a call that Jake the Snake is in town.
01:37:11.000You know, there's this dude, Jake the Snake, who played One Pocket, and you'd come down, and, you know, they would call George the Greek, this guy wants to play One Pocket, and he'd say, this motherfucker's got no heart!
01:37:20.000And then everybody would meet up at the pool hall at like 10 o'clock at night, and you'd see the dude practicing, knocking balls around the table, like, oh shit, it's going down.
01:37:27.000And they would put this big stack of money, and there was this guido gangster dude who was always there, who had a gun, just in case somebody tried to rob a steak.
01:37:34.000It was a fucking crazy place to be a part of.
01:38:25.000Everybody's trying to constantly figure out an edge.
01:38:27.000Because they're playing a game where their life, whether they eat or not, whether they go hungry, whether they have money for a hotel room, is all based on...
01:39:40.000You say Starcraft and your body goes into like the hibernative state where it knows it's not going to get nutrition for the next six hours.
01:39:45.000You really stay here for three days, don't you?
01:45:14.000Todd Disotel, who's a professor at NYU, who we had on that podcast.
01:45:20.000If there's one thing that we answered on the Joe Rogan questions everything, it's not whether or not Bigfoot is real, but it's whether or not the evidence that has been purported to be Bigfoot DNA is...
01:45:33.000Has been acquired in the most non-contaminated way?
01:45:39.000There's not a direct chain of command between finding this and documenting the fact these guys wore rubber gloves, they had masks on, they picked this up with tweezers.
01:45:48.000When you find human DNA, it's amazing how easy it is for humans to get DNA on shit now.
01:45:54.000They can get DNA. If you sneeze, if you breathe, if you touch something with your sweaty skin, You get human DNA on things.
01:46:02.000It's incredible how sensitive these pieces of equipment are.
01:46:05.000So when you get some fucking piece of shit that a hunter found in the woods, this is a Squatch turd!
01:46:10.000Squatch came by, shit on my elk carcass!
01:46:13.000You don't know what the fuck happened before that thing got to you.
01:46:16.000And when you start testing it, it's very irresponsible scientifically.
01:46:20.000So whether or not these people are telling the truth, I believe they are.
01:46:23.000I believe they really believe that it's a Bigfoot turd.
01:46:25.000Whether or not, or hair, or whatever the fuck they claim they have, or many pieces of evidence they claim they have.
01:46:30.000The real problem is all of them have been extracted from the crime scenes unscientifically.
01:46:36.000So me, as executive producer, Duncan Trussell's co-host of Joe Rogan Questions Everything, we say, go fuck yourself.
01:50:44.000If you had one, though, if you had a baby that was alone in the crib, like the mom was on meth and the mom fell asleep in the game and was right next to the baby, passed out, but a window opened up and a hornet figured out its way through, would you allow all the hornets to come in and kill the baby just so you could see what it would be like?
01:51:20.000I'm trying to figure out whether the uncomfortable moments and the animosity that you face in your life has turned you irreversibly towards the dark side.
01:51:30.000I'm trying to figure out whether they can seduce you to the Force.
01:51:33.000You are saying that if I was to let Hornets attack a digitized baby, I would be evil?
01:51:39.000Well, that you would want to experience that.
01:51:41.000What about if you had the options between Hornets and a slew of bikini pageant contest entrants blowing the kid?
01:51:56.000The game where you wander through the apocalypse in Fallout 3?
01:52:01.000Well, there's a mission in Fallout 3 where there's a little, like, commune of orphans who are living in some kind of cave.
01:52:08.000One of the missions is, and in part of this world, there's like a compound of slavers.
01:52:16.000So you can bring them people, you can sell people to slavery there.
01:52:20.000And one of the missions built into this game is you go into that fucking compound of kids, kidnap one, and bring it back to these slavers to do whatever the fuck they're gonna do to the kid, and they give you some weird special executioner's mask that gives you powers.
01:52:36.000And that's encoded into the fucking game.
01:52:38.000So, that's what's weird about video games, is there's this like...
01:52:42.000People will do awful shit in video games.
01:54:02.000No, I thought it was something even deeper than that, man.
01:54:04.000I thought it was some kind of attack from the guy in mind on him, because he was ripping people off.
01:54:09.000I don't know if he was for sure, but I was suspicious of him.
01:54:12.000And so I thought that it had reached this psychic magnitude of negativity just swirled down on them and temporarily exposed them to the world.
01:54:23.000And this is somebody that maybe isn't reliable or somebody that you shouldn't be sending money to.
01:54:28.000I don't know exactly how they were using the money that they were getting, but I know with a great many charities, legally they only have to...
01:56:43.000I have no fucking idea because I'm looking at him and I know he's a brilliant dude, so you'll go home right now and when will you be outside in daylight again?
01:56:53.000The truth, because I know there's times years ago where you'd disappear.
01:56:56.000Depends on if there's daylight in the Oculus Rift land that I visit.
01:57:02.000So if you set it up tonight, you shut your phone up, lock the door, hide the window.
01:58:18.000So, like, you know when you give a squeaky toy to a dog?
01:58:20.000Oh, boy, do I. And you realize that that squeak is the sound of an animal dying, and that's why they like the squeak, because that's the sound of an animal.
01:58:28.000I never thought about that until right now.
02:00:36.000And it's all about zombies that were, they were Nazis, and somehow or another they became zombies and got frozen up in the fucking South Pole or some shit, and these people are out there, they're camping out, and the zombies come and get them, the Nazi zombies.
02:00:55.000Okay, he's got this zombie at his studio, and I get all these messages from people that are saying, yeah, I always knew that he had a problem with Jews.
02:01:04.000That's why he's got a zombie at his studio that has a swastika on.
02:03:52.000That's why we have to have this fucking conversation.
02:03:53.000Well, you've got to be careful because, you know, a lot of people, they go and get their prescription and then they go next door and buy some marijuana brownies and they think, oh, it's just a brownie.
02:07:06.000The only way out of hell in Dante's Inferno is by going to the middle and climbing down Satan's leg.
02:07:12.000Because Dante never tried to suck Satan's dick.
02:07:14.000If you suck his dick, as he comes in your mouth, your brain explodes and you appear in the Garden of Eden with Eden and she hasn't given the apple to the snake yet.
02:07:24.000Eden's the stripper that lived in the garden.
02:10:58.000There's a technical problem, which is that it uses a Pink Floyd song.
02:11:02.000And I super doubt that if I emailed them, they're going to be like, yeah, you could use one of the most famous songs on earth for your comedy album.
02:13:17.000Drawn to the angle of, you know, obviously I don't believe that you think in these things, like as far as being reality, but the idea of a demonic entity, the idea of evil incarnate.
02:13:29.000I mean, you've often talked about evil as like a philosophical idea, like a location that you can get to.
02:13:35.000You know, man, I've changed a lot in my life.
02:13:38.000And there was a time when I actually did believe that there was some...
02:15:05.000Being a pussy is not going to help you lose weight.
02:15:07.000It's the exact opposite of what's going to help you lose weight.
02:15:09.000What's going to help you lose weight is being a savage.
02:15:12.000And what a savage does is occasionally they have a drink because they're a fucking man, they do whatever they want to do, and then they do squats.
02:16:21.000Whoever these people are, they're bad motherfuckers.
02:16:23.000They know how to make some real moonshine.
02:16:25.000Because I've had some scary moonshine that hurts, and I've had some moonshine like this that's pretty fucking smooth while letting you know that it's fucking you up.
02:16:34.000But if you talk to somebody in Kentucky, they'll be like, yeah, that's like the wine cooler of Moonshines compared to them, you know, like building it in the backyard and stuff like that.
02:17:25.000It has four stars if you go to the reviews online, but that's just because 10% of the people in the world have their fucking head deep in their ass.
02:17:34.000If the world was just and pure, that would be a five-star place.
02:19:16.000The problem is when Jamie first originally gave it to me, I didn't think it was that strong, so I was just drinking it like a drink, and I almost drank like a half a bottle of it.
02:19:25.000And that's like drinking a half bottle of Jack Daniels.
02:19:52.000As long as they have one of those fucking things on it, that's legit.
02:19:55.000That means it's gone through the government taxes and all that shit.
02:19:58.000Man, I wonder what the fuck is gonna happen to this country now that we realize that these assholes can't communicate, they can't get along so badly that they're shutting the government down.
02:20:08.000Like, they're throwing a temper tantrum, and then they're not working their way through this, and they're shutting the government down.
02:20:12.000I read this thing on Reddit that I thought was a really cool solution, which is adding to the Constitution some way to, if this happens, to do re-elections for everyone.
02:20:43.000Have you seen Rand Paul and some other dude got caught in a conversation with their mics on about the reactions that people are going to have to all this?
02:20:52.000They're just talking about hedging their bets.
02:20:53.000They're just talking about saying all the things, the talking points, or all the things they were willing to compromise on, but the president wasn't.
02:21:00.000It's really spooky stuff because it comes down to this gigantic system grinding to a halt because a bunch of people are in an ego battle and they're playing a game of chess.
02:21:09.000Well, it's almost like the Founding Fathers built into the machine a thing that I think is supposed to alert the population that we have to do something more.
02:21:23.000I mean, I don't know why I hate saying it, but I just saw Jesse Ventura on Piers Morgan, and he was giving this very, like, intelligent, cogent description of what's happening, and he was saying this means that we need to have a revolution, and it doesn't have to be violent.
02:21:38.000But we do need to revolutionize the way government works, because right now it's not working, and the reason it's not working is because there is a percentage of people who don't believe that they should have to get, that the government can impose I think the government has to adapt just like the porn industry did.
02:22:01.000The porn industry came along and the internet came along and clipped the fucking legs out of the porn industry.
02:22:27.000Now, Congress has been influenced to the point where they're willing to actually allow corporations to vote as humans with their money and have no limits on how much they can contribute to individual candidates who will eventually serve their business needs once they get into office.
02:23:19.000Or it will happen, just like the Ice Age eventually stopped, or just like war eventually ends, just like we got out of Vietnam, just like the Civil War ended.
02:23:29.000Something will eventually break, but we'll get to a point where we're like enough.
02:23:36.000By the way, lately I've just been trying to avoid the news, which is hard when you're addicted to Reddit, but I've been trying to avoid it completely.
02:23:48.000If what they're saying, if it's not just a bunch of bullshit, if what they're saying is true, then we could go into another recession because of this.
02:23:55.000This could drive us into another recession.
02:23:57.000And if that's the case, then that means that there needs to be a new government because there's no reason for us to go into another recession.
02:24:07.000How many of them are there in the government?
02:24:43.000Creating an unnecessary situation where we could all theoretically suffer shows that we as the people have been conditioned to believe that we're powerless.
02:24:57.000And so that conditioning needs to go away.
02:25:00.000And the moment it did and we organized in a non-violent way, then they would immediately start listening to us.
02:25:06.000It's just that everyone gets so mad, oh, the government doesn't represent the people anymore.
02:25:11.000It's like, well that may be true, but what are we doing to organize to make it so that they start listening to us again?
02:25:29.000If they just said, hey guys, we ate some peyote and we realized we're a bunch of cunts.
02:25:33.000So we're willing to try to figure out a way how to reward people for the work they've already done, but yet move forward in a much more ethical way of distributing wealth.
02:26:40.000I had Christopher Ryan on my podcast, and he was talking about how in indigenous cultures, the people who never are allowed to become leaders are the people who indicate that they want to be leaders.
02:26:51.000Like, those are always the ones people avoid as being the leaders, and the ones who end up being leaders are the ones who know the most about certain things, like fishing or hunting.
02:28:36.000I'm talking about people who smoke dope.
02:28:38.000And people who don't smoke dope and how the people who don't smoke dope worry me.
02:28:43.000Because the people who don't smoke dope have just called me eight times after I told them for the last eight days that I was doing your podcast today from one to whatever.
02:31:31.000It was all just talking shit and message boards and downloading porn and nonsense.
02:31:36.000And then somewhere along the line, that all got boring and I started learning shit.
02:31:42.000I think we started paying attention more to things.
02:31:45.000It was also like three years into my pot journey.
02:31:48.000I started with the weed around 2000. So that's when I started questioning a lot of different things at about 2000. Delving into the internet deeper.
02:35:57.000The good thing was, if you were in a hole, you were in a financial hole, it was good, they paid well, you could work and you could make good living.
02:36:03.000That guy made more than 60 grand a year driving limos.
02:36:06.000And this was back in 1990, not even, 1989. So it was a long time ago.
02:36:12.000You know what else is cool about Uber?
02:39:33.000I'm not going to say the bit, but the bit that you and I talked about on the phone that you're doing now, I don't want to say what it is, but it's fucking hilarious.
02:41:36.000When you're going from a 15-minute set and you think you know what you're doing and all of a sudden you have to do 45 and you get 35 minutes in and you're like, I'm done.
02:43:55.000You do every single thing cult leaders do, and I figure, shaving my head, I might as well go to the airport and start handing out USBs with your podcast.
02:44:06.000Just a little FYI, if I ever do start a cult, I'm not interested in being a leader.
02:45:12.000You want to talk about a pure person, a guy with pure intentions, and a hard-working dude, and a smart guy, and deserves every good thing that's happened to him.
02:45:48.000It's very admirable watching someone go about trying to make a business and do it correctly and do it in this day and age with all the scrutiny of the internet and all the cunts just raining down shit rain on your head,
02:46:04.000just opening their asshole above your head.
02:46:08.000It's emptying their bowels of failure upon your head at every point.
02:46:14.000And in their defense, if you pay attention to most of human behavior, you're going to find people tend to gravitate towards the worst if they can get away with it.
02:46:26.000They get away with what they can get away with.
02:46:28.000But the beautiful thing about people who are true psychedelic explorers, and that's a fucking gross term, but I'm going to use it anyway even though it's been co-opted, True psychedelic explorers really are trying to do the right thing at all times, and they understand that you have this beautiful way of describing this thing about acting in a famine state,
02:46:46.000and that it fucks people up, because they act in this famine state, and the same amount of resources are available, but you go into a panic where someone who acts in a state of community and abundance has a much different reaction from the same amount of resources, the same circumstances, completely based on the attitude.
02:47:24.000The planet, as George Carlin says, the planet's fine, but humans are fucked.
02:47:29.000Well, you go into that state, you realize, well, you're not permanent, but you realize there's a much, much greater thing happening than you.
02:47:36.000And once you plug into that, it gets more difficult to get back into those ego games that are usually based on defending whatever you consider to be the most important thing in your life.
02:48:35.000They're not even throwing me a fastball, they're just throwing me curves.
02:48:38.000Who had the biggest dick in your high school basketball team that you showed that picture?
02:48:41.000By the way, Joey Diaz has this live podcast he does once a month and I was on his last one and it was probably one of the funniest One of the most fun times I've ever had in my life.