Comedian and podcaster Joe Rogan joins Jemele to discuss his new show, The Joe Rogans Experience, which is a podcast where he talks about comedy, comedy clubs, and everything in between. He also talks about how he got into comedy, and what it s like to work at a comedy club, and why he doesn t like working in an office. Plus, he explains why he s not a fan of office environments, and how he thinks they re a waste of time and money. And, of course, we talk about his new t-shirt that he's wearing to the show, which is from one of the best comedy clubs in the country, The Cap City Comedy Club in Austin, Texas, which he calls one of his favorite places to do stand-up comedy in the whole country. And, he also explains why you should be a gentleman in doing business, even when you re a guy who doesn t have a clue what he s doing it. Thanks, Joe! You're a great dude, and I hope you enjoy this episode, because we had a lot of fun doing it, and we really appreciate you listening to it. We really appreciate the feedback. Thank you so much for tuning in, and have a great rest of the week. -Eugene and Sarah. Cheers, Sarah and Sarah -Joe Rogan and the rest of our crew . -Jemele & the crew at the team Thanks for listening and supporting us, Sarah, Sarah & the team at Sarah at her website, Sarah at . . Joe at her new book, and Sarah at my new podcast, at her blog, at my website . Sarah @ her website , and Sarah @ my new book @ her podcast at my office in Los Angeles, LA at her place in LA, and all the other stuff she s doing at her home in LA. at the coffee shop in the middle of it all, and she is so damn good at it all. Thank you for listening, Sarah! - Thank you Sarah at your work, Sarah @ , Sarah, I really appreciate it, thank you, Sarah and I m so much love you, I m looking forward to seeing you back at it, I ll see you next week, I will see you soon. Joe
00:02:16.000I'm very childish in what I like, you know, like aliens and fucking Bigfoot and a werewolf in the front of the place.
00:02:23.000I'm very childish, but if I'm in an environment that's not like me, if I'm in a clean, sterile environment, there will always be a little bit of hesitation, even if it's a fraction, a little something that makes you want to keep it PC or not be so honest.
00:02:43.000Office environments, I think, ultimately, they hypnotize people.
00:02:48.000I think just the idea that you're in an office.
00:02:50.000All of a sudden everybody becomes something that they're not.
00:02:52.000Everybody puts on this bullshit attitude.
00:02:54.000They all have this weird way of behaving.
00:07:41.000And again, because I'm overly paranoid, we're not saying that certain people haven't Legitimately maybe been ripped off by club, and when that happens, that sucks.
00:07:49.000But we're saying, like, a lot of that animosity comes from exactly what you just said.
00:08:15.000I should have never been allowed to go on stage.
00:08:17.000So when you've seen someone just fucking stink it up hardcore for like, you know, a year or two in the beginning of their career, it just makes sense that you wouldn't want, you know, like five years later, you're like, man, I'm not buying it.
00:08:56.000It's a crazy way of thinking, but they know back when the guy sucked, and they refuse to admit that people can figure things out, that people can improve.
00:09:09.000Like, I'll think of somebody the way I thought about them.
00:09:12.000You know, somebody, there's a comedian who wanted to do a middle in Philadelphia, and I really think, well, you're probably, I go, wait, I haven't seen him in a while.
00:09:20.000And then I take the time, I'm like, oh my god, I just got stuck in this mindset.
00:16:40.000I do wish that your empire would fall apart.
00:16:43.000That doesn't mean anyone would be sick or homeless, but I do wish your empire would fall apart, like it did, not realizing Mark Babbitt was why you had it.
00:16:51.000They never knew that he was the soul of that place.
00:16:54.000So when he left, it went downhill, and they have no idea.
00:16:57.000To this day, do you think they have the intelligence to go, hey, what happened there?
00:20:33.000These comedians would take out these giant full-page ads and show what NACA conference they performed at and they had this really professionally done photography and shit.
00:20:46.000That was how comedians got the word out about them.
00:21:19.000My track record is this, and then I'll tell you what somebody told me George Caron said, but at least I wish I could have said I never had a card, but I'm proud to say, if I'm gonna be 100% honest, I had one for like a month, and then I just didn't like the smell of it, so I got rid of it.
00:21:42.000So now I'm glad because someone said, somebody at the, George Carlin was talking about cards backstage at the Comedy Magic Club and basically said, he goes, cards, you know, the comedian doesn't have a fucking card, you know?
00:21:54.000And then the comedian that had the cards sort of felt like he took them very quickly over to the trash.
00:23:17.000Someone was on the podcast, I don't know who to credit for this, but they were talking about how, you guys would know, you guys would remember, about how the genre of prop comedy is gone.
00:24:10.000If somebody was willing to put money into it, like produce it, go, you, we're going to hire, we're going to build this, it's going to be a truck, it's going to go, and you're going to do it, but we're going to put money into it.
00:24:19.000Somebody out there, a promoter, half creator, half promoter thinks, I'd fucking do that.
00:24:23.000You would actually be the perfect guy.
00:24:25.000Not 40%, I want to put it down on record, but we will talk about the fee.
00:24:27.000You would actually be the perfect guy to put together a fake prop act.
00:26:49.000When they have them in New York City, where they just keep funneling the people into the club, they get these kids from high schools and they bring them in and they don't end the show.
00:26:59.000They tell you to do new material every time.
00:27:03.000Or they tell you not to do new material.
00:27:05.000They tell you the same material every time so that they would realize that the show is over.
00:27:09.000Because they never cleaned the place out.
00:27:11.000They just kept packing kids in there, violating every fire code in existence.
00:27:16.000And it would go on till 5 o'clock in the morning.
00:27:18.000I mean, you would start working at 8 at night, and you would do shows until 5 o'clock in the morning.
00:27:22.000They would just keep rotating the lineup.
00:27:24.000I would leave, and it would be light out.
00:27:27.000But for, like, a young comic, It's pretty good because it's like 75 bucks a set or something like that and you're packing all those sets together.
00:27:33.000It was a good chunk of money for comedians.
00:32:36.000I'll tell you this for a fact, because I worked with a guy named Frank Santos, the R-rated hypnotist.
00:32:42.000I worked with him many, many, many, many, many times back in the Boston days when I was an open-miker, and I was 100% skeptical the first time I saw it.
00:32:54.000But then when you watch a guy actually cum in his pants, and you watch people do things that he's telling them to do, then you realize, oh, wait a minute, I'm a control freak.
00:33:05.000Some people, especially in that context, it actually might work better because they're nervous and they get on stage and there's a bright light and this guy just knows how to lock you in and tell you what to do, tell you what to do.
00:33:15.000You're going to breathe, you're going to breathe, and on the count of five, you're going to just go.
00:33:19.000You're going to go to sleep, relax, all the muscles in your body, one, two, three, four, five.
00:33:25.000And he would touch these guys and they would fucking collapse.
00:33:27.000By the way, for me, I could just feel that.
00:33:53.000So let's say, even if a naysayer tries to answer the question this way, I still might not negate its hypnotism, but what if a naysayer said, no, they're just getting laughs.
00:34:02.000And when people get those type of laughs, they get comfortable.
00:34:05.000So they let their guard down because everything they do is getting a laugh.
00:34:08.000They're getting a laugh because there's a professional up there making it happen.
00:34:11.000So maybe they get more comfortable and more comfortable.
00:34:14.000So the more weirdness is thrown at them, they're getting the laugh.
00:36:58.000It's like your comfort level with humans is different than the average person's comfort level because you experience humans in this really extreme state, the state of a stand-up comedy club.
00:37:07.000So it's real hard to just hypnotize a guy like you.
00:37:11.000But there's some people out there that have 9-volt brains.
00:37:15.000And, you know, everybody else has a bunch of those lithium ions they use to run a Tesla.
00:39:01.000And to make a guy like you or make a guy like me chase after really complex math...
00:39:06.000It's not really beneficial because it's not going to do anything more than let us know that we don't really like math, especially in this day and age.
00:39:14.000Because there's a finite amount of time to learn things when you're in high school, finite amount of time in college, and finite amount of time when you have a job.
00:40:25.000So anyway, I'm on the plane, and I'm horrible with numbers, and I have a checkbook, and I'm opening it up, and I'm counting with my fingers, and I'm figuring something out.
00:40:37.000Also then I take a piece of bubble tape and I eat it at the same time.
00:40:41.000And then there's a guy in my brief and I look at him and I go, oh my god, I thought instantly what he had just seen.
00:40:46.000Like, not a man my age counting with his fingers.
00:40:49.000You know, pulling and eating bubble tape.
00:40:51.000There's no way he thinks I have any amount of success.
00:40:54.000He has to think, oh, that poor guy, good for him.
00:45:59.000They're like leather on the outside, but they have a lining, and the lining is like a fleece, like lambskin or whatever the hell they have.
00:46:08.000But he was like, what is that, a slipper?
00:46:09.000I was like, it's a fucking shoe or something.
00:46:12.000But to him, it was like, are you wearing slippers, bro?
00:46:16.000You're like, why are you wearing slippers?
00:46:17.000What are you trying to have fucking, your feet be all soft?
00:48:24.000And then they would all tell me, like the guys who were backstage, the security was doing back there, they were like, dude, his balls are hanging out.
00:48:44.000You know, the way I explain what it was like to meet Rodney, I was trying to explain this.
00:48:51.000I think, over the years, I think once when I was somebody in my family or something, I was like, it was very hard, but I think I can do a better job of it now.
00:48:59.000You know how we'll never get to meet Homer Simpson?
00:52:12.000Because the idea was, you would take these people, and some of them would be seated in this beautiful amphitheater.
00:52:19.000And then past them, you would just stuff the grass with this enormous patch of grass with savages who couldn't hear anybody who was talking on stage.
00:53:20.000It's not like I'm complimenting myself because I don't know if I... We only can live to see if I got to that point if I did what Rodney did.
00:53:57.000I don't want to be, you know, I'm not saying like if somebody looks something up and goes, this comedian did, I'd be like, well, they're cool too.
00:56:03.000I wear Converse All-Stars pretty much every day.
00:56:06.000Once I started wearing those, I realized if I wear a regular shoe now, like anything that has a heel, like a running shoe, it feels weird to be in that different posture.
00:56:14.000You're not supposed to stand like that.
00:56:25.000The only time I wear shoe shoes is when I do the UFC. Do you think like even...
00:56:29.000I know exactly what you're talking about because I've put the...
00:56:32.000I get used to it after a while but there's a pair of boots and after I'm not wearing them for a while I go, what am I... What's a fucking heel?
00:56:41.000Yes, I'm gonna take from that to this but I'm curious of your opinion on this.
00:56:45.000Do you think like for women wearing high heels it might hurt them more than they maybe think?
00:56:50.000Because it's a horrible thing to do to yourself.
00:56:52.000I think it's probably really difficult to do every day.
00:56:55.000I think women who wear them every day to their job, like they wear high heels around the office constantly, if that's all you wear at work, I gotta think that's brutal and punishing on your feet.
00:58:13.000Women in Africa that are the Suri women who are, I think it's Suri, where they make that big plate in their face, the young ones are rejecting it now.
00:58:23.000They're going, fuck that, this is crazy.
00:58:25.000Like, I'm not wearing a fucking plate in my lip anymore.
00:58:27.000And they're getting sort of like, there's a cultural rift where the young ones don't want to knock their teeth out and wear this plate.
00:58:32.000You have to knock your lower teeth out to wear those plates.
00:59:50.000Explain the thought process you were in.
00:59:52.000Well, I think it's just cultural conditioning.
00:59:55.000We have a really weird problem as human beings that once a group of us start doing a thing, even if that thing is ultimately detrimental...
01:00:04.000Once a group of us start doing it, people want to join in.
01:01:31.000I think that this world though is insanely complex and it requires a much more rigid idea of what you're going to accept and not accept in your life and what you're going to put out there and what you're going to try to get back.
01:01:42.000Now I think that it's very, very, very complex.
01:01:45.000This is an insanely intricate and woven society.
01:01:49.000And these cultural tribes, it's really what we're designed for.
01:01:53.000We're designed for these hut environments, these places where there's 500 of us that live in a village together.
01:02:00.000That's what we're designed for psychologically.
01:02:03.000That's what our brains are designed for.
01:02:05.000When you jack it up to 7 billion people in contact with each other, it's going to require some adjustments.
01:02:11.000And that's what we're going through right now.
01:02:13.000It's not that it's going to be impossible for people to be happy in this crazy day and age.
01:02:18.000It's just a little bit more difficult to manage.
01:02:20.000And it brings me to this movie that I just watched.
01:02:22.000I was on a plane coming back from England and I watched Summertime in Paris.
01:04:55.000That whole thing with his daughter, it got so weird with so many people.
01:05:01.000Regardless of whether they're happy or not, it's so taboo that they've sort of ostracized him.
01:05:07.000They allow him to be behind the scenes, but if he's in front of the camera, people are really sketchy about it, unfortunately, or fortunately.
01:06:43.000It's like, if she became a woman, and that's what she really wanted, and that's what he really wanted, is that a bad thing?
01:06:48.000You know, everybody wants to decide that it is, and I think, you know, ultimately, that's the snap judgment, and that's the one that I would take.
01:06:54.000I would go, oh, he's a fucking creep, that's his daughter.
01:06:57.000I hate to say this, but when we're dealing with what you should and shouldn't be able to do, and if ultimately this is what two adult people want to do, it sounds disgusting to me, but I don't feel like it's within my jurisdiction to tell adult people what they can and can't do together.
01:09:52.000Make it brother and sister so it's not weird.
01:09:54.000No, it's a perfect analogy because why does anyone care what two people that are adults decide to do, whether it's two women or two men or four women and six men?
01:10:03.000Who cares if they are all in agreement and they all are consenting and everybody's sober and no one gets tricked?
01:10:10.000Because there's plenty of people making psychological mistakes by who they date.
01:10:15.000Even if it's because it's a guy and a girl, there's another million reasons.
01:11:44.000I think we do it also because we're insecure and because it's also not even necessarily a jump reaction that people have to something that's very different from them.
01:14:24.000I didn't know it was a Porsche until I looked.
01:14:25.000There's a problem that people have with rich people items like that and that they automatically dismiss them as being a douchey thing to have because so many douchey people own them.
01:14:34.000But the reality is what they are is marvels of engineering.
01:14:38.000They're these amazing creations by these geniuses and artisans.
01:16:22.000When Todd told me, you know, this is you going, when Todd told me that he wanted to appreciate a car, I thought he meant like an old Porsche.
01:16:29.000I didn't know he was going to get that.
01:18:15.000I used to smoke, and while I smoked, I knew it was vile and disgusting.
01:18:19.000I didn't think, well, I don't have the ability to quit, so I may pretend and give a public outward thing of going, you know, you can eat a candy bar, too.
01:18:27.000You know those people that write it off because they can't quit.
01:18:30.000I just called it vile, and that led to me quitting one day.
01:18:33.000So I want to do the same thing with the meat.
01:18:35.000Just because I'm lazy or whatever it is right now, And I might be partaking in some of that slaughtering because of the way I eat every day.
01:18:41.000It doesn't negate that I know it's wrong.
01:19:47.000They'll go up to a humpback whale, have a child, and they'll tear it apart.
01:19:51.000I watched a horrible video of it the other day.
01:19:53.000I mean, we like to think of orcas as being these really sweet things that jump for fish.
01:19:58.000They're murderous machines when they're out there in the wild.
01:20:00.000They kill dolphins on a regular basis.
01:20:03.000But for them, that's the spoils of the real world.
01:20:06.000That's how they got to the top of the food chain, by being these ruthless, super-intelligent motherfuckers that live in this playground of the ocean.
01:20:13.000And they migrate up and down the coast, and they've done so for thousands and thousands of years.
01:20:19.000Until this fucking tiny blip in time, this industrialized age, this age of aquariums, this age where they figured out how to capture those fucking things and stuff them into fucking swimming pools.
01:21:19.000In fact, their cerebral cortex is something like 40% larger than a human being's.
01:21:23.000We don't know what the fuck, what's going on in their mind, but they're absolutely aware that what we're doing to them is not what they want.
01:23:54.000When I see a coyote on my street, If it's anywhere near my house, especially in front of my house, I will rather, if I had the money, I would go check into a hotel.
01:24:03.000Because I'm always afraid when I get out of the car, they're going to be lurking out of every tree around my house.
01:24:34.000Hunting and the wolves started circling them and finding out where they were and like communicating with each other They would like one of them would pop out and they were like staring at the dudes And then they would go back into the forest and another one would come from a different direction They're all making these crazy noises man.
01:24:53.000Oh, they'll kill you for sure if they think they get away with it But they they're very aware of these dudes and so they're they're letting these dudes know But they have their guns No, they have bows and arrows.
01:26:02.000But they're not going to get an elk right now because there's wolves everywhere.
01:26:05.000There's a thing going on right now in part of the country where they've reintroduced wolves because the wolf population had been decimated.
01:26:12.000So they reintroduced wolves, but they used a larger Canadian wolf.
01:26:18.000It's like using Germans instead of pygmies.
01:26:51.000I know they get killed, but you're talking about in the plants where an animal's whole life, the day it's killed is the best day of its life.
01:26:58.000And not only that, the life is absolutely wild as nature intended.
01:27:03.000Nothing changes until that one moment and then they get shot.
01:27:06.000So it is the freest of free range possible.
01:27:08.000And a lot of times they've never even seen a person before.
01:27:10.000And a lot of times also you're dealing with environments, especially, I went hunting in Montana, and they lose a giant amount every year, just they freeze to death.
01:27:18.000They get killed by predators, they freeze to death, or they get lame.
01:27:21.000And if they get lame, they get killed by predators.
01:27:23.000I mean, there's a lot of different predators in that area.
01:27:26.000We found mountain lion shit, and it was a log of mountain lion shit, and it was filled with hair.
01:28:40.000If they break a leg in California, they're not going to freeze to death, but they'll probably get killed by something that comes along and finds them.
01:28:46.000You know how they say if it's cliche, it's true?
01:29:40.000But when we were there, we saw more sheep than we saw deer, but it's really hard to get a sheep tag to kill a sheep, even though there's a lot of them, because they're trying to build up the population, because they were decimated at one point in time.
01:29:51.000There was also, there's wolves there as well.
01:30:20.000But in Colorado, there's a town called Evergreen, and we were visiting, and there's this area of Evergreen where this main street is, and they have a photo, I think it's on their website.
01:32:01.000So these are the ones I'm talking about.
01:32:03.000I wonder if moose killings, when people would see them, would be higher than other animals because dumb people are going, oh, it's a moose, and not getting it's a ferocious animal.
01:32:11.000Would people ever get to be near mooses?
01:32:13.000Yeah, people die in moose attacks all the time.
01:35:08.000But it's the only thing, like, you know, when we hear about, like, for me, you know, I always just hear about, you know, like you just said, when they're trying to save certain animals, they cut off the hunting in certain areas or we're trying not to kill whales or, you know, all that.
01:36:19.000That's a weird thing that happens with wild animals, though, when you take them in, is that to reintroduce them back to being wild is super difficult.
01:40:26.000The Black Death, which is the rat disease, killed an estimated 75 to 200 million people, and peaking in Europe through the years 1348 to 1350. Although there was several competing theories as to the etiology of the black death analysis of DNA from the victims of northern and southern Europe published in 2010 and 11 indicates
01:40:56.000that the pathogen responsible had something to do with rats.
01:42:34.000I mean they couldn't cure things back then.
01:42:36.000It just would last for years and years and years and years and years.
01:42:40.000People kept dying of these horrible fucking diseases and some people would barely get through it and their immune systems would strengthen and some people would just fucking drop off like flies.
01:42:48.000Did you know the washing of your hands and everything was sort of not agreed upon by everybody at first?
01:43:15.000Or the story's going to be about what a moron you were.
01:43:17.000Well, this weird denial about global warming that to me is absolutely fascinating because it's really one of the few arguments that have anything to do with nature and the nature of the world that have these ideologies attached to it.
01:43:35.000Liberal ideologies and conservative ideologies battling it out.
01:43:38.000And when I hear conservative people say that it hasn't been proven that humans are responsible for global warming or that it's just a cycle of life or...
01:43:46.000Oftentimes, I talk to them about it, and they aren't even paying attention to the actual effects of global warming.
01:43:53.000They have this vague idea of what the impact of global warming is.
01:43:57.000Their main concern is defending conservative business practices and conservative ideologies.
01:44:04.000And that's like where they go to immediately to strengthen up the gate and battle down for argument.
01:44:17.000These people have very little idea for the most part.
01:44:20.000People are like really passionate about the subject.
01:44:22.000I'm sure there's a few experts out there that disagree with me right now, but I'm just saying that by my personal experience, a lot of people that I meet, and I don't have an opinion on it because I'm not a fucking climate scientist, but I've talked to like 25-year-old guys, you know, they're like, you know, hard asses, and they're like, look, fucking Earth's temperature's been changing for,
01:44:47.000Do you know that half of North America was under like a mile-high sheet of ice?
01:44:50.000But what we do know is, it's happening right now, for sure.
01:44:53.000Well, but let me ask you, and this might be a no-shit type of a thing, isn't the argument you would think on the people that think, let's do what we need to do to do whatever we can do, isn't what you should do the same whether you believe in we could change it or whether you can't?
01:45:07.000Let's say you think you can't change it, we can't fix it.
01:45:11.000You would still want to respect the planet while we're here.
01:45:14.000So you cannot believe in it and still...
01:45:16.000I don't understand what the argument is to not acknowledge, because isn't the whole fight to try to be more aware of how much gas we use, right?
01:45:23.000Isn't that the ultimate goal, to prove that it's happening?
01:45:29.000I thought we were trying to prove, let's use less because, look, the global warming is our way of proving it, maybe making people believe it.
01:45:36.000So where I'm confused is, so even if we can't reverse it, what's the downside of doing everything they say to do?
01:46:10.000These people are walking down the street, and their face is covered with masks and stuff, and they're trudging through, and it looks like they're in an apocalypse movie.
01:46:30.000You couldn't make a movie like this unless you added it in later, because you couldn't expect the actors to work in that kind of conditions.
01:46:36.000If you made a movie about the apocalypse.
01:46:59.000Pull up Smog in China, and it's the first video on...
01:47:02.000Under videos in Google, it's fucking crazy, man.
01:47:06.000You're seeing these people walk down the street and you're like, oh my god, you nutty fucks have poisoned your city to the point where people can't even breathe the air.
01:47:52.000He's describing what's wrong with the content.
01:47:55.000...organization recommends daily levels of particulate matter with a diameter of 2.5 micrometers to be no more than 20. Anything above 300 is considered dangerous.
01:48:06.000Levels around a thousand were recorded in some parts of Harbin.
01:48:10.000All schools were shut and the airport was closed.
01:49:46.000Okay, we might be assuming it's an accident, and she might just be, like, really a crazy attention person who's like, this is the way I'm going to get attention.
01:49:52.000I'm going to send pictures of me jerking off.
01:52:22.000Some young, attractive teacher has had sex with two or more boys from school either on campus locking the door or taking them back to their apartment.
01:53:15.000Yeah, I do not know what her motivation was or if it was actually an accident.
01:53:21.000But if it wasn't an accident, it is possible that there's a person out there, not saying it's her, but some person, a person who's willing to fuck every football player in her school and she's a 28-year-old, that's happened before.
01:53:33.000If there's a person like that out there, there's also a person that'll just email her pussy out there and go, Whoopsies!
01:54:57.000I try to go, look, I'm still taking in stuff, because I think it lessens the anger...
01:55:00.000Of people at home that really genuinely might know you're wrong.
01:55:03.000I feel like they always tell them, be comforted because if I get an email and it's intelligent and somebody breaks it down, you know what I think?
01:55:09.000The first time I read an email that educates me, I go, holy fuck, I want to do an earlier podcast because I want to come back on and go, totally didn't think about that.
01:55:17.000So knowing that I will do that always lets me think, okay, I'm comfortable to sometimes speak before I have formulated my opinion.
01:55:25.000And it's important to be honest about what you actually know and what you don't know.
01:55:28.000There was one of the funny things about this Midnight in Paris movie was that his wife in the movie was, there was a guy you saw in the clip who's this, like, super intellectual guy who's, like, you know, judging wines and he was a real, you know, annoying dude.
01:55:42.000And throughout the film, you saw Woody Allen, like, Woody Allen's character, like, battle with this guy about, like, facts and ideas and deal with his, by bullshitting him.
01:56:19.000Well, I watched it on a plane, but it was a 2011 movie, so you could probably get it on, you know, probably get it on Apple TV or something like that.
01:56:34.000Somebody posted on the message board that the pollution in Beijing is pretty much identical to the level that Pittsburgh had 60 years ago and posted these photos in Pittsburgh.
01:57:30.000Is that because it's like the steel city and they probably had shitloads of steel factories and stuff like that probably back when they still do, don't they?
01:57:37.000I would imagine that's a lot of what the pollution is.
01:57:40.000You know, whenever there's, about in the past, I remember in school, I would ask my teacher, because it's the only way I could visualize, I had no concept of the 1300s, so I would ask her, anytime we talked about an era, if there were stores then.
01:57:51.000Because in my head, that's when, like, and I think she, she was always very nice to me, but I think after a while, I stopped asking it, because were there stores then?
01:57:59.000I wonder if they even had locks back then.
01:58:43.000The lock worked using a large wooden bolt to secure a door which had a slot with several holes in its upper surface and the holes were filled with wooden pegs that prevented the bolt from being opened.
01:58:56.000So that was the first invention of the lock.
01:58:58.000Proving people that have been stealing shit for years.
02:01:42.000You think the world is going to be covered with roads all over the place where you can just drive your stupid fucking car that doesn't even drive over logs.
02:03:19.000Yeah, and it's like I always wondered what it was, and that's the actual original path that they had dug down, and they kept the bells there.
02:03:26.000And that was back when it was horse and bogey.
02:04:36.000You're never going to really go for it.
02:04:38.000And it's there for you to see so that you can see how gross it looks to other people.
02:04:42.000So when you meet someone, I think, you know, you meet someone who's troubled, oftentimes it's one of the best things that you can see without having to go through it yourself.
02:06:25.000And I tried to tell people, like, when it happened, I tweeted it, but there's like a picture of me, and it says, this homeless guy asked me for money the other day, and I was about to give it to him, and I thought, he's not going to use it on drugs, he's just going to use it on drugs and alcohol, why should I give it to him?
02:06:40.000Then I realized, that's what I'm going to use it on, why am I judging this poor bastard?
02:09:06.000There's such a big difference from complaining, because I know someone taking this out of context, including me, going, I love complaining about clubs that don't get it or when they don't set it up right.
02:11:35.000You know, it's a weird pretend thing, but I go, they call you on the phone, he goes, listen, I want to start tweeting more, and you know my voice, you'll give them to me at the end of each day, I'll pick a few I like, and I'll It's a good paycheck, but it's okay.
02:11:46.000I'll give you $10,000 a week, whatever it would.
02:12:22.000I guarantee you, out of those thousand people, if you say something that's truly funny, they're going to hit that retweet button.
02:12:29.000And it might be a slow trickle, where it'll be like, a few other people will get it, and then a few other people will get it, and a few people will steal it, and they'll just fucking copy it and throw it.
02:12:37.000That's a real common thing with non-known funny people with tweets.
02:14:53.000She had a great joke about blowing a guy who, like, blowing so many drunks that she didn't pass her breath detector test because she sucked a drunk guy's dick.
02:15:41.000I just accidentally stubbed my face on a dick.
02:15:44.000A true friend will tell you when your yoga pants are sucking your pussy lips up like a three-toed sloth.
02:15:53.000It's a funny fucking Twitter page, and she does it all the time.
02:15:56.000If you look at it, every couple of days, she bangs out a good one.
02:16:00.000So her numbers, she'll take a couple of days off or something, but the numbers that she puts, whatever she puts out there, is really high quality.
02:16:09.000She doesn't have a lot of stupid tweets.
02:16:16.000I mean, I'll take days off, but if I find things that are interesting...
02:16:19.000I think it's my duty, almost, to retweet things that I think are interesting.
02:16:23.000If you have 1.5 million followers and someone comes along and shows you something that you think other people would be interested in, it's almost your duty to send it out.
02:17:21.000Can I tell you, when they correct me on spelling, I want to have a goddamn...
02:17:24.000I want to find the person, and I don't want to do what I want to do because I have to calm down before I start doing what I... I want to talk to them at the end of the day, but I want to go, what is wrong with you?
02:17:48.000Seriously, like, it sounds silly, I get it, but then there's also like, yeah, who are they?
02:17:53.000What do you do to everyone else in your life if that's what you, the first thing, like, I'm trying to be funny, I'm a comedian, I'm not a good speller, but your goal, I get it.
02:19:04.000I think we naturally, we were talking about cults earlier and people arguing over ideologies, I think we naturally form tribes.
02:19:12.000I think some tribes are formed just based on behavior and belief systems and geography and we get these weird things and it's very dangerous.
02:19:22.000You might think, I swear to you, I think this genuinely has to do with what we're talking about.
02:19:31.000The only thing I wrote down I wanted to talk to you about was, it's not here anymore, was the, when people, you said they will, you said they will form tribes.
02:21:03.000And one of the reasons you don't have to do it is because if you're selling things that you actually believe in, we have a series of different products that we agree to, but we've turned down a lot of products.
02:21:17.000I've turned down podcast sponsorships to promote things that I don't believe in, movies that I don't believe in, shows that I don't believe in.
02:21:25.000Once you make that sort of an agreement, people will support the things that support your show automatically.
02:21:31.000They would want to, if it really is a good product.
02:23:44.000But if you're a person like me that's really into technology and finds it fascinating to fuck around with new things, you can't beat that screen, son.
02:25:00.000Sometimes in life, I'll say something.
02:25:01.000I will be so passionate about something, like you are, and I go, there's no way if they filmed that, they could ever play that, because there's no fucking way anybody would believe that was real.
02:25:09.000I'm like, there's some product I'm talking about, and I go off on how good it is, how could nobody have it, and then I think...
02:25:14.000There's no way someone would believe that, but that's how passionate I am.
02:25:17.000But I believe you, because I know that you wouldn't do that.
02:25:19.000But there's some people that you know would, where some people you know would sneak in a commercial and pretend that they really love their Galaxy Note phone, and it's really just a commercial.
02:26:07.000If I find something cool, I would let you know, even if it's not Paying me money to let you know.
02:26:11.000You know how we always guess what we would do, what we wouldn't do?
02:26:15.000And I know it's always a hypothetical when you turn down, because you can act morally on your high ground when you turn down something that wasn't offered to you, but we do it all the time.
02:26:33.000Now granted, I'm not saying I turned down some shit ton of money, but at least it was an example when I did stick to my instincts of don't do something bad.
02:26:41.000I learned the copy for this phone thing, and then I remember the next day waking up and going, look, again, You know how much I would have made.
02:27:57.000So, like, if you want to cook a roast outside, like, smoky hardwood, and cook it for, like, 300 degrees for, like, four hours or something like that, you do that.
02:28:08.000I didn't know that there were pellet grills, because my parents live in an old home in Philadelphia, and they had a pellet stove in the living room.
02:28:14.000And they would come in bags, and they're, like, wooden, and they're very natural.
02:29:42.000This cat hated everybody but me though.
02:29:45.000It was great because it fetched balls.
02:29:47.000They'd take a little ball of paper and crumple it up in a ball and I would toss it and it would chase after and swat it and then it would bring it back to me and then I would throw it again.
02:34:11.000He doesn't know why that dog's near him.
02:34:13.000That dog is violating his territory by being a stranger and near him like instinctively.
02:34:17.000So unless he's socialized, unless you take them around other dogs all the time, it's a natural instinct to want to ward off other dogs.
02:34:23.000That's why raising a dog, you could raise a dog that's really sweet with people, which my dogs were, but then have real problems with other dogs, especially if it's genetic, like pit bulls or something along those lines.
02:34:38.000The only thing you can do is socialize those dogs and bring them around a lot of other dogs and constantly reprimand them or stop them from attacking and keep them exercised.
02:35:21.000And when you have an animal like that, you know.
02:35:24.000You were saying, you know, when they get around other animals that they haven't seen.
02:35:27.000That's why a long time ago I made this rule, like, It would be like a bunch of us renting maybe a house up in Arrowhead or something where people go, hey, can we bring the dog?
02:40:17.000Meaning, that's what they call it, like, if you have, like, some people, like, take their trailer and they put it next to their home, and sometimes they use it as a guest house, so they, I heard a plumber once go, you hard-plumb it, which means you hook it up to the regular sewage, right?
02:46:23.000That's what the celebration is, when everybody cheers at SeaWorld, because you've got this majestic fucking orca to jump for fish.
02:46:30.000The reason that I think, this is what happens a lot with people, and you know what, when I always talk about this, I always think, am I saying I'm perfect?
02:47:11.000So that's what the SeaWorld thing, going back to that, or this, the PETA, you know the same people were probably going, oh, they're just waving.
02:47:42.000But did you ever see the video of the bears and the monkeys, and they're going around, they're riding bikes around a circle in Russia, and the monkey falls, and the bear attacks it, and they can't get the bear off the monkey.
02:47:54.000The bear kills the monkey in front of the crowd.
02:48:01.000Can I tell you, why do I think, although I know I wouldn't want my child to see that, but my instincts are to go, good.
02:48:06.000Well, you can't count on bears to do what you want them to do all the time.
02:48:10.000You can count on them if you train them to be nice to you.
02:48:13.000If you feed them and train them, you can count on them.
02:48:15.000But that is a wild motherfucking animal with a hair-trigger idea of survival and death built into its DNA. And it's ready to explode at any fucking dangerous situation.
02:48:27.000And if it thinks a person is threatening its life, or if it thinks something is violating its instincts to avoid...
02:49:39.000He attacked me, and so he just goes after him.
02:49:42.000I think I feel good when I see it, obviously not because of the monkey, because I think, okay, maybe that will remind people, yeah, they're fucking bears.
02:49:48.000The same old thing we think every time we see that stuff.
02:49:50.000That's a cunty thing to do, to take an animal and imprison it like that.
02:49:54.000It's not a bad thing to do to look at him in the wild.
02:49:56.000It's not a bad thing to do to manage their numbers in the wild, including wolves and bears.
02:50:00.000You've got to kill a certain amount of them, especially if there's a lot of people in the area.
02:50:26.000At the very least, you should have some gigantic walled-in preserve where you could travel through their ranks undisturbed, like in some sort of a camouflaged tube, but they should be able to hunt.
02:50:38.000The animals should have a natural ecosystem.
02:50:40.000We're completely dominating their ecosystem and forcing them to exist in an unnatural paradigm, the paradigm of Cold food being slid in a tray under your door, and you have massive predatory instincts from thousands of years, millions of years, in fact, of DNA in your body,
02:50:56.000and you have these natural reward systems that you don't have language and context.
02:51:01.000You just have these natural reward systems beat in, and you're told to ignore them.
02:51:29.000But I like what you said about you gotta go to the zoo, because, like, the opposite of that is...
02:51:34.000Okay, I'm going to take my kid to the zoo, so now I'm going to just make pretend that it's okay.
02:51:39.000It's better to just say, yeah, I'm doing it, but it's fucking wrong.
02:51:42.000I'm certainly hypocritical because I'm contributing to the problem.
02:51:44.000Yeah, and I do the same thing, but I think admitting it is at least not disrespecting the people that are fighting the fight and we know they're right.
02:51:50.000Like, I think one thing going is bad, the next level, and maybe I'm saying this to make me feel better because I get ultimately don't go, don't, but I think there's another level of, there's people out there, you're too lazy, you know their fight is right, You're a little too lazy or selfish and you don't listen.
02:52:48.000If it was just me on my own, I wouldn't go.
02:52:50.000But in this situation that I am in right now and having children who enjoy looking at the animals, I think it's important, first of all, that I take them there and I tell them that there's something wrong with this.
02:53:11.000I mean, obviously they wouldn't have this choice, but if they had a choice between living in the wild and being taken out by a predator, or living in a fucking cage, just staring at people that stare at you, I would take my chances with a wolf.
02:53:22.000If you die, it's quick and it's the natural way.
02:54:52.000Wednesday before Thanksgiving and then take Thanksgiving off and then do Friday and Saturday and then I'll be in Dallas at Addison the second week of December.