On this week's episode of the Joe Rogan Experience Podcast, the boys talk about cell phone service Ting, flip phones, and much, much more. Also, the guys talk about the latest and greatest things they've ever seen in the world of cell phones and why they don't need to be called cell phones anymore. Also, we discuss the new LG Flex and why you should get one of those cool little flip phones you can carry around in your pocket. Joe also gives his thoughts on the new Apple Watch Series 4, the new MacBook Pro, and why we should all get a foldable laptop. And, of course, we talk about why we don't want to have a cell phone carrier pigeon. Thanks to Ting for making this episode possible. Ting is a no-bullshit mobile service that does exactly what it says on the tin. You get the same service as a regular cell phone provider, but with no fees, no overages, no service fees, and no fees at all. It's cheaper and faster than most cell phone companies and you don't have to deal with any of the same annoying crap. Plus, you get a lot more control over your phone service and a better experience. Enjoy! -Joe Rogan and the boys Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Subscribe to the podCast and Rate/subscribe on Apple Podcasts. If you like the pod, please leave us a review and tell us what you think of the pod and we'll send us a rating and review it on iTunes! Thank you! and a review! if you're a podcaster and review the pod is a review, review it over on Podchaser! or a review is in iTunes or review it! Subscribe on iTunes. or review on iTunes and review on PODCAST! Thanks for listening and subscribe to the podcast! It really does mean a lot to us, we really appreciate it. - Thank you for listening! -Jonah. -- Thank you, Jonah and the guys at Podchor. Jonah & the boys at PodChor -- Thank You, Brian and the Crew at Pod Chorchor, the Crew. Cheers, Jake, R. R. & the Crew -- -- The Crew
00:04:38.000It's kind of fun to drive like that, but you have to get used to it and know what it's going to do.
00:04:41.000If you're used to driving a regular car, and you're used to going sideways in a Corvette or something like that, and you get in one of those things, it's a very different sort of dynamic.
00:06:26.000It's literally a no-guilt snack that tastes yummy, with no MSG, no nitrates, no antibiotics or added hormones.
00:06:36.000Super awesome for you and tastes delicious.
00:06:39.000We just try to sell you shit that's cool.
00:06:41.000Anything that we find that's good, find the finest hemp protein powder available that we bring in from Canada because our corrupt politicians won't let American farmers make some cash.
00:09:01.000Powerful Shane Smith, world traveler, internationally known, locally accepted, bad motherfucker, out doing ridiculous shit all over the world and not slowing down anytime soon.
00:11:29.000Lots of naval buildup, but huge arms buildup going on there because that's going to be the next sort of...
00:11:37.000Not only the sort of transportation routes, but also, you know, all the sort of natural minerals, rare earth minerals, oil, etc., etc.
00:11:43.000So essentially, it's just like when the Bering Strait back during the Ice Age was connecting the United States to Asia and then it went away.
00:11:53.000Now new passages like that are opening up.
00:11:58.000So you can, what's happening now is you can actually, you know, when a lot of the earlier explorers were trying to get to China by going around the north, you know, and now that's opening up.
00:12:09.000So it's opening up north of Scandinavia so that Russia can actually go right around Scandinavia because they never really had a freshwater year-round port.
00:13:15.000Huge reserves of oil, shale oil and weird oil that you have to fucking...
00:13:21.000What's the kind in Utah that they found where you have to burn it and it creates all this horrible carbons being emitted into the environment in order to process it?
00:14:21.000It's very, very bad because they take the whole Lake Athabasca sort of watershed and they use the water to boil out the oil and then you have all of this sort of Chemical sand that they have to chuck,
00:14:37.000you have all the waters destroyed, and then obviously you got the oil.
00:14:41.000It's oil shale, that's what they're saying.
00:15:22.000It's just, oh, you know, we can, we can, it's now economically viable to actually get this shit out, because it was too expensive before.
00:15:29.000It's the same thing with using CO2 and water to sort of frack or to pump out the rest of the oil in wells because we didn't get all the oil out before, only what was pressurized.
00:15:39.000There's a thing that comes up when you talk about anything that causes some sort of environmental hazard where you have two different types of people that automatically jump on the argument.
00:15:49.000There's a type of people that are like, oh my god, we have to save owls and olive trees or whatever the fuck is growing up there.
00:15:58.000These other people that almost universally are not financially successful, but support hardcore Republican ideals, including the sacrificing of the environment for some sort of an economic gain.
00:16:14.000I don't understand it, and I just did a piece on Greenland that's going to be airing on our HBO show tomorrow, and I've been doing a lot of press around.
00:16:21.000It's interesting because I did a piece on Sea Level Rise last season, and Generally, about 90% of our comments are like, you guys fucking rock.
00:16:41.000There's a study that was done that if the first four comments on an environmental thing or any news piece are negative, then people negate the actual piece.
00:16:53.000So they spend hundreds of millions of dollars for bloggers and people to just go out and do comments so that anything launches, they sit there and they say that this is bad or not true or whatever.
00:17:08.000I talked to scientists all the time for this Greenland piece, I talked to the chief climatologist at NASA. And I said, okay, so how much of this is man-made?
00:17:21.000Because I went to Greenland and it's melting.
00:17:23.000And Greenland is going to melt and it's 24 feet of sea level rise.
00:17:28.000So if the sea level rise is 24 feet, then 80% of the world's cities go underwater.
00:17:33.000So I said, okay, you know, how much of this is man-made?
00:17:50.000And I actually, when I was talking to him, he's like, if we cut our carbon emissions by 80%, It's still going to continue for the next 500 years, global warming, or at least, but we just slow down the pace of it.
00:18:02.000And I'm like, well, how much of Greenland's going to melt?
00:18:26.000And I do this for a living that, you know, because we did a thing on the Texas drought because we, you know, there was a drought here in California.
00:18:32.000Everybody's like global warming, global warming.
00:18:35.000And in Texas, they've had a drought for three years and they denied climate change.
00:19:26.000And it's the no-nonsense mentality and I've documented this.
00:19:31.000This is like something that I've really been studying for quite a while.
00:19:34.000There's people that, in spite of all the evidence in front of them, they want to believe the official story on almost everything and almost always take the conservative viewpoint.
00:19:42.000And a lot of times that conservative viewpoint is who they are, the very type of people who they are, it's against them.
00:19:53.000A lot of them are hard-working, blue-collar people, and they have this idea that somehow or another in the future, They want to be able to make money freely.
00:20:03.000So, you know, I don't want the government stepping in and stopping all this shale because I could step in and maybe do a little shale mining myself and start making millions of dollars and right now they're not.
00:20:15.000Right now they're the ones who are being punished by a lot of these ideas and they're pushing forth themselves.
00:20:27.000And we just did this story on vets returning from Afghanistan and Iraq and how they're over-prescribed, over-medicated by the VA. It's a huge problem.
00:20:38.000Well, it's working folks who support big business.
00:20:42.000And if you talk to the disillusioned veterans, veterans of which I have tremendous respect for, by the way, but coming back from these wars that were fought for economic reasons, for oil.
00:21:25.000And I think if you look at Afghanistan now, we just did a piece on Afghanistan.
00:21:29.000And the Taliban are running South Afghanistan.
00:21:32.000And the Northern Alliance are running Northern Afghanistan.
00:21:34.000And the minute we pull out, it's going to be the Taliban take over the South just like they did before.
00:21:39.000And a trillion dollars and hundreds of thousands of lives...
00:21:42.000Are just going to be wasted for nothing because Al-Qaeda is going to be in with the Taliban again, which is why we went in there in the first place.
00:21:53.000What I'm trying to get at is I think that a lot of the mentality, you know, people are used, you know, for economic purposes.
00:22:15.000And if you go back and read Smedley Butler's War is Just a Racket from 1930-something, he was a major brigadier, major general character.
00:22:25.000I forget what his exact title and rank was, but he was a well-respected military man who spent his whole life in the service of the country and then realized when he was retiring that he only existed to go out there and...
00:23:26.000It's that thing, too, though, man, that I'm a good person, and I'm a no-nonsense good person, and that's the same shit that gets preyed upon with this whole global warming denial thing.
00:23:37.000But I don't understand, because whenever I talk to someone, I'm like, okay, I'm a gambling guy.
00:24:12.000I'll bet 1% to say, okay, it's like insurance when you play background or when they've got a 21. Okay, I'll take that insurance because even if it's 1% true, I'm convinced it's 100% true, but even if it's 1% true, don't you want to hedge your bet?
00:24:27.000I think it's a confirmation bias issue that these ideas fit into their no-nonsense mentality.
00:24:33.000The no-nonsense mentality is almost like a religion.
00:24:56.000They've either sold them off or they've died.
00:24:58.000And so you sit there and say okay in the face of all your fucking cattle which was Texas for the longest period of time you know Dying because of this prolonged drought.
00:25:27.000I was just a climate change denier because Al Gore was for it, therefore I was against it.
00:25:31.000And then when I did the research, I realized, holy shit, there's something to this.
00:25:36.000And he got drummed out of the party and lost his seat.
00:27:37.000But it doesn't mean that human intervention and what we've caused can't play a big part in accelerating that and accelerating it in an unmanageable way.
00:27:46.000And he didn't really have an answer to that.
00:27:51.000He was just a young military kid who has this idea in his head that, you know, there's a lot of hippie bullshit being flown around there about the environment.
00:28:06.000Okay, it doesn't mean he's totally wrong.
00:28:08.000Well, the interesting thing about Al Gore, and I find it very interesting, not that I'm an Al Gore lover, I came up actually hating Tipper Gore because she was censorship, etc., etc.
00:28:53.000Because all the shit that he learned in...
00:28:57.000All the behind-the-scenes shit that we don't know about freaked him out so much that he said, I'm going to actually go out and do this movie and say the environment is fucked.
00:29:04.000Hey, by the way, this isn't like a Greenpeace dude.
00:29:07.000This is a tobacco, southern dude, conservative in America, but you know, whatever, conservative in the world.
00:29:15.000And he comes out and says the environment's fucked.
00:29:17.000What's interesting is he wins a Nobel Prize, does a good movie, all this stuff, but then gets vilified to the point that now Al Gore is a joke.
00:29:24.000And when we say, oh, you know, fuck, you know, he's this and it's Al Gore.
00:29:28.000And by the way, isn't that a great fucking triumph?
00:30:52.000Why isn't there more fucking outrage about the NSA listening to every fucking phone call, every tweet, every fucking email, everything, and saying, we live in a goddamn police state.
00:31:15.000Why is there more outrage at the NSA? Watching everything we do and doing it illegally?
00:31:22.000I think there is outrage, but I think people feel like they are waiting for something to happen and they don't know what they can do about it.
00:31:28.000They don't feel like they have any real legitimate power.
00:33:31.000It really just put it underground, but whatever.
00:33:33.000It's been a success because the crime rate dropped that Chicago, New York, all these big cities are doing it now.
00:33:38.000So not only are you going to have the NSA listening to your phone calls and your fucking, you know, whatever, your social media, everything.
00:33:46.000But you're going to be filmed and listened to everywhere you go.
00:33:49.000And that's not 1984. That makes 1984 look like a fucking children's fairy tale.
00:33:58.000You're always going to be watched every fucking thing that you ever do.
00:34:03.000If that's not the definition of a police state, I don't know what is.
00:34:06.000No, it's most certainly the definition of a police state, and it's almost inevitable because of the expanding reach of technology.
00:34:22.000You're a smart dude because I was just at this tech conference and there's all these CEOs and this thing and we were talking about it and I got into a fight with one of these big dudes there, an old dude, big powerful guy, and he said, you know, who wouldn't jail Snowden?
00:34:43.000And the presidential papers, like they were the punks of their generation, but now they're heroes because it's the baby boomers and Snowden's...
00:35:12.000But the interesting thing about that is, A, the fact that a lot of people whistleblowing is seen as un-American.
00:35:21.000I see it as that's what's going to keep democracy safe.
00:35:26.000But this sort of overreaching, and I said, look, I didn't come to America for it to live in a police state, and this is the definition of a police state, is that they can watch everything that we do.
00:35:36.000And it was all these tech guys, and the tech guys just sort of rolled their eyes and said, it's already happened.
00:35:54.000The tech is so pervasive that you can't fuck with it.
00:35:58.000Well, there's also a future tech that they're working on that is essentially tiny Wi-Fi-powered cameras that are the size of grains of sand.
00:37:17.000You know that some bureaucrat, major, general, captain, some bullshit artist is going to be sitting behind some computer thing saying, you know what?
00:37:41.000Because what's going to happen is the same thing that has sort of happened with cellular...
00:37:46.000I mean, obviously, I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about, just as a caveat here.
00:37:50.000What's going to happen is the same thing that's happening with cellular communication.
00:37:54.000At one point in time, cellular communication was a giant brick that you had to hang on to.
00:37:59.000You used to have a fucking suitcase you carried around with them, you'd hold them in your...
00:38:03.000And now you can go to the Amazon and people have cell phones.
00:38:06.000You can go to the poorest third world countries and people have cell phones.
00:38:10.000I think that right now, the information, the access to all this stuff, the ability to know what's going on everywhere all the time is terrifying to us because we don't possess it.
00:38:20.000The only people that possess it are the people like the NSA or the people that are monitoring Camden.
00:38:25.000Eventually, that technology will become so pervasive it'll be like Wikipedia.
00:38:50.000They're going to know where your phone is.
00:38:51.000You're going to have an internet connection.
00:38:52.000This is going to be blocking technology.
00:38:54.000I'm going to take it to another place.
00:38:55.000I think it's going to get even crazier than that.
00:38:57.000Because I think that when I extrapolate, when I get really high and I think about this, especially when I get into the tank, I come into this one conclusion.
00:39:06.000And this one conclusion is that money in its current form It's not resource-based.
00:39:11.000The economy is essentially based on confidence and numbers.
00:40:37.000And just like the same people send people out to diminish climate reports by leaving shitty comments, they're going to also go after Bitcoin any way they can.
00:40:47.000Did you hear about this Silk Road shit that happened?
00:44:08.000What I find interesting about this is it's just an example of this whole second economy, the grey economy, the black economy, black market, that some people have estimated is up to a quarter to a half of what the global economy is because if you put in all the drugs that are dealt in the world,
00:44:25.000All the arms that are dealt in the world, right?
00:44:28.000All the secondary quote-unquote gray electronics, the seconds, the stolen IP that's coming out of China.
00:44:37.000All of that stuff, because if you go to India, everything is a $20 pirated smartphone, right?
00:44:44.000Hundreds of millions of these fucking things have been sold.
00:44:47.000All of this gray economy is being run somehow, and there's Bitcoin, and there's Silk Road, and there's all these different crazy fucking things that are out there running this shit.
00:45:09.000And so Bitcoin or virtual currencies are interesting, but they can be hacked as we just saw in Japan.
00:45:17.000But also, what can you actually buy and sell with them?
00:45:23.000Because what they're doing is they're actually using the old drug dealers or slash terrorists.
00:45:31.000I've got some corn in Tunisia and you've got some flax in Pakistan and those will just be wiped out and somebody then in Afghanistan will get a case of AK-47s.
00:45:45.000And that's what Bitcoin and that's what Silk Road and that's what a lot of these things ended up doing.
00:45:50.000And didn't one guy wind up going to jail because he gave bitcoins or he sold bitcoins to someone who wound up using those bitcoins to buy drugs?
00:47:28.000Like, if I invested in this thing, and then some dude I never even met invested, who one time dealt drugs, then they get to take my money too.
00:47:35.000Do you know what that, there's a quote about capitalizing on any sort of a moment that it's...
00:49:21.000Yeah, I mean, what we're dealing with right now is a few people that have this power.
00:49:26.000And I think it's gonna come down to a point in time where as this technology increases, if you just looked at it, don't look at it in the context of culture, don't look in the context of what we're accustomed to as far as our, you know, expectations of privacy, but instead look at it as it's a wave that's moving in a certain direction.
00:50:02.000The whole thing is about access to this information.
00:50:05.000And as this whole thing grows and expands and becomes more powerful and more prevalent and more pervasive, it's going to reach a bottleneck.
00:50:24.000What sparks out of that is riots in Europe, Arab Spring all across the Middle East, riots in Southeast Asia, riots in South America, riots around the world by Gen Y, because they completely disenfranchised no future.
00:50:40.000You take someone's future away, what they're going to do, they're going to smash shit up.
00:50:58.000You know, it's not a question of if it's a question of when.
00:51:04.000What happens when you have another economic downturn and the people who have been sort of treading water and just are starting to see some light go down again?
00:51:15.000What happens then on an economic level when you have these young people who have been fucked for the past eight years say, okay, fuck, I'm going to have to tighten my belt for another eight.
00:51:31.000When you talk about one house being worth $5 million and one house being worth, in Detroit, $500, and this is a valuable place to live, and this guy gets paid $100,000 for the same job that this woman gets paid $30,000 for,
00:51:50.000and they both work the same amount of hours.
00:51:52.000At a certain point in time, it's like, what is our economy?
00:52:07.000In 2006, if everything was rosy and people were buying houses and everything was great, you'd buy a house, you'd sell it a year later, you'd make 50 grand.
00:52:21.000You talk to people that are economic experts and they give you some sort of an explanation of how people extracted money from the system, how the banks banked on the fact that the loans they were giving...
00:53:07.000And there was a time when the aristocrats who were, you know, benighted by God, and they owned everything and everybody else worked for them.
00:53:25.000We collect the tax here and pay up to the king over there.
00:53:28.000What's interesting is they just did a thing on there's more economic disparity today than during the Downton Abbey era of the aristocracy owned everything and everybody else was like, you know, screw, which is when the,
00:53:43.000you know, Soviet revolution started and the big socialist wave around the world because the aristocrats owned everything.
00:53:50.000And there's more economic disparity today than there was then.
00:53:54.000Is it because the people, like the people that know how to fuck with money, the 1%, they just have accumulated insane, impossible to imagine wealth?
00:55:00.000I mean, what the fuck are they doing where they have a trillion dollars or whatever the fuck a Lehman Brothers guy has who has one of those giant 100-acre estates on the Hamptons?
00:55:15.000Again, I'm going to put it into gambling terms because I'm a gambler.
00:55:19.000If you could go to Vegas, right, and you could say, okay, I'm going to bet a billion dollars or a trillion dollars, but let's say a billion.
00:56:37.000Well, so for example, the piece I did in Afghanistan is we've spent $100 billion in reconstruction there, and the majority of it, if not all of it, has just been flushed down the toilet.
00:56:48.000For example, a billion dollars were spent on helicopters that don't fly.
00:56:52.000You know, billions of dollars are spent on culvert denial systems.
00:57:01.000This is a long story, but basically to try to stop IEDs from being put into culvert...
00:57:06.000We're paying money directly into the Taliban's hands.
00:57:08.000We build power plants that are never used because they're inefficient and too expensive because they use diesel.
00:57:15.000You can't power power plants with diesel.
00:57:18.000And by the way, guess who collects the fees are the Taliban because the places where we go in to collect the fees are too dangerous to actually go into.
00:57:27.000So we're just throwing hundreds of billions of dollars down the top.
00:57:32.000Not to mention Iraq, not to mention, by the way, DOD, not to mention here in America, etc., etc., So you sit there and you say, we're paying all this money in tax.
00:59:08.000The reason why we're doing this now is because we're frustrated and we're saying, look, I don't want to talk about, you know, shoes fucking every day of the week.
00:59:16.000You don't want to just do stand-up or your MMA shit, both of which are amazing, but you want to do something, holy fuck, dudes, I'm going to fucking talk about shit because this shit is important.
00:59:26.000The reason why we have to do that is because we can't be complacent.
00:59:30.000We can't just sit there and say, you know what, fuck, it's too much money or it's too much shit because they are taking money to do bad things with it.
00:59:36.000They're taking our fucking freedoms and spying on us with the NSA. And it's guys like you and guys like me and guys like, by the way, everybody out there and the fucking Death Squad and Red Band and all these motherfuckers.
00:59:47.000And we have to be the ones to get out there on a grassroots movement and say, fuck you.
01:01:07.000I don't think there's anything that says that everybody has to be greedy.
01:01:10.000I don't think there's anything that says that people have to capitalize on every single fucking loophole and fuck everybody over along the way.
01:01:17.000And I think one of the reasons why they've been allowed to do this or able to do this for so long is because of the lack of access to information.
01:01:25.000I think they were able to secretly hide so much shitty wrongdoing in the past that it became policy.
01:01:52.000But he started in with good ideas and was invested into a completely corrupt system and then became a part of it and became a part of the corruption.
01:02:01.000That is essentially, most likely, what happens in every form of government.
01:02:06.000Essentially, there's good people that eventually join this thing and then realize, oh, this is a completely compromised movement.
01:02:30.000The same reason why you can spy on people in Camden, New Jersey, that is the echo of a future event that's going to happen that's going to remove all privacy.
01:03:01.000I agree that you and I, we're both comfortable.
01:03:05.000We don't have to worry about feeding ourselves or housing our families.
01:03:08.000But what happens at a certain point in time when you make enough money that you don't have to worry about your bills, you, at least I, start contemplating what is important.
01:04:25.000What I find interesting, and every time I do this podcast, I'm always blown away by it, is there's so many people out there that think exactly the same way.
01:04:34.000And we all sort of believe the same things and think the same things, and we're all interested in the same things or pissed off about the same things.
01:04:41.000Yet, like that's millions and millions of people, literally millions of fucking people.
01:04:54.000Well, there's never been anything to do before.
01:04:55.000You had to wait for representatives to do you justice.
01:04:58.000You had to vote for people that were going to disappoint you.
01:05:00.000You had to get yourself to the polls and hope that all your bitching and moaning at work and all your, you know, reading the Wall Street Journal and the New York Times, somehow or another made a difference.
01:08:35.000What I have been very fortunate is that I grew up like this in a time where you could access enormous amounts of information.
01:08:43.000And during the last 20 years, because of this access to enormous amounts, my...
01:08:51.000My perspective on the world has changed radically.
01:08:55.000My view has broadened in an insane way that's impossible to describe.
01:09:02.000But I think that I represent one portal that almost everyone who's a part of the system, whether they grew up in a way where they were forced to sort of integrate and they did things that I didn't do because they had a better upbringing,
01:11:27.000And there was a time when the ships, the joke was the ships couldn't get through the Grand Banks off New Brunswick because there were so many fish.
01:11:48.000It wasn't the Portuguese, the Japanese, the Canadians, the Americans who fucking persigned it for fucking 50 years and ate all the goddamn fish and threw everything else out.
01:12:31.000If you go to any store, this is an interesting thing that I, you go to any store in the world, any store, you can be in Congo, you can be in Australia, you can be in Vietnam, Myanmar, you can be here in America...
01:12:42.000You know what they're gonna have on the shelf of any shitty bodega in the fucking world?
01:13:40.000We ate it all because everybody eats tuna.
01:13:42.000When you start saying that everybody has to have that one thing, because you're like all these biggest corporations in the world, what do they sell?
01:13:51.000Light bulbs, tampons, toothbrushes, shit that everybody needs.
01:13:58.000Every single person in the world needs a fucking toothbrush or light bulb so they make billions of dollars.
01:14:08.000Take the kids, take the eggs, take the fucking, you know, the adults, take the breeding females, take everybody, chop it up, put it in a fucking tuna can.
01:16:16.000And you don't want to come home and have a couple of old motherfuckers like us going, guess what, all the fish is gone, you fucking dirty bastard.
01:16:54.000We're not going to wake up until you walk into the Quickie Mart or the 7-Eleven or whatever the fuck it is, and there's no more tuna on the shelves.
01:17:00.000You go, what happened to the fucking tuna?
01:19:35.000But there's a definition of insanity, which is we go to bed every night with the same thing facing us and the same conditions facing us the next day, and we wake up thinking it's going to be different.
01:20:43.000I travel a lot to hardcore Islamic countries, and they're like, yeah, you're going to jihad and suicide bombers, and you're going to go to paradise, you're going to have virgins, and you're like, yeah, it's fucking crazy.
01:20:58.000And you come back to America, and they're like, those motherfucking Taliban and Al-Qaeda, they're crazy motherfuckers.
01:21:04.000They believe they're going to fucking die in jihad and go to heaven.
01:21:45.000I think Turkey, I mean, the oldest known civilization that's built complex structures is in Gobekli Tepe in Turkey, this new thing that they found over the last decade, incredible structures.
01:21:57.000The people that are still there, I think, are the townies of the world.
01:22:30.000But what I'm talking about is that there are certain people that live in an area and that area has an ideology that's very rigid and they never get out of it.
01:22:59.000By the way, watch a jihad be announced or a fatwa on me.
01:23:03.000It was created because Muhammad went to Judea and said, oh, there's this new Christian thing going on.
01:23:09.000So it was this monotheistic thing, saying, oh, there's this new one God religion, I'm going to take that on.
01:23:15.000So Judaism, actually in the Koran it says the people of the book, there's the Jews and the Christians and the Muslims, and they're all the same because they're monotheistic.
01:23:23.000And you say, oh, okay, well that's interesting, people of the book, you know, we're all in it together.
01:23:29.000Why the fuck have you been, you know, fighting us, you know, the whole time?
01:23:34.000Well, we have different versions of heaven.
01:23:37.000Well, how about the Islamic people themselves have two different sects of Islam that battle each other to the death?
01:23:43.000Well, there's a lot more than two, but yeah, two big ones.
01:23:47.000The Sunni and Shia that we didn't know about in Iraq.
01:23:49.000When people started blowing each other up in Iraq and we found out that it was Islamic people attacking rival Islamic sects, we were like, wait a minute!
01:24:15.000And so the people of the book, etc., etc., and you sit there and saying, your definition of heaven is different than my definition, or your definition of this is different...
01:24:23.000Or Jesus was a prophet, but Muhammad was a real prophet.
01:24:26.000And you say, okay, because of all that, we're going to kill the fuck out of each other for a long fucking time.
01:24:32.000And at that point, you're like, well, this is just fucking stupid.
01:27:34.000And we hide a lot of these things because of our culture.
01:27:38.000We hide a lot of these things because of, you know, we want to have jobs and we want to have, you know, there's another bottle of that Jack over there.
01:28:07.000The things that I don't have to do because I'm a comedian, the things that Brian doesn't have to do, we can say crazy shit about what we've done and what we do and drugs and...
01:28:29.000But for the average person, the average person with a fucking corporate job can't make a YouTube video about doing DMT and getting blown by angels.
01:29:11.000So I don't know if we talked about this before, but what I find disturbing about political representation is I've done a lot of crazy shit.
01:29:22.000I left home when I was like 13 and a half.
01:30:21.000To me, if you're squeaky clean, you've got 20 fucking dead bodies in your goddamn basement because I don't trust those motherfuckers who are squeaky clean.
01:35:25.000Why isn't the Democratic Party lining up saying, I'm a fucking Clinton centrist, fucking took the worst deficit in American history to the biggest surplus in American history, best president fucking serving in the 1900s?
01:35:50.000He got a blowjob, so the fact that he was probably the greatest president of the last century goes out the window.
01:35:55.000He disparaged the great office of the presidency with his penis.
01:36:01.000Do you know what he would do to women?
01:36:03.000He would get them alone and pull his penis apart.
01:36:06.000As opposed to every other president, except for Ronald Reagan, because his penis didn't work.
01:36:11.000I wonder what the standard move was before Viagra.
01:36:15.000I wonder if at a certain point in time you could trust the president because they didn't get hard-ons anymore.
01:36:20.000There's a book by Plato called The Gorgias where the mean guy in it says, I only became a good politician when I put all the passions behind me because he's like 70 and he couldn't get his dick hard anymore.
01:37:36.000What do you mean like the whole Clinton thing?
01:37:38.000Well, Obama just did a video with Zach Galifianakis that he's getting a lot of heat from, and that's kind of showing a really cool president, in my opinion.
01:37:55.000Saying that there's a lot of people that think, like Fox News especially, think that the president shouldn't be put in that kind of situation.
01:38:01.000Even though that he was like on, you know, presidents in the past have done Jay Leno and shit like that.
01:39:04.000The Republicans did such a fucking great job at, by the way, an amazing politician and a consensus politician being destroyed because he liked to fuck.
01:39:14.000Well, people helped him other than the Republicans.
01:40:37.000But anyway, all this sort of PR shit that goes on.
01:40:40.000If you fuck with me and don't vote for this, I'm going to PR attack you and I'm going to get my super pack to attack you on this shit and I'm going to do this, whatever.
01:40:48.000And the thing is, what's interesting is they're taking real life shit that's happening in American politics and they put it into a thing that we can understand.
01:41:47.000Well, that's, I think, also one of the reasons why nobody wants to get behind the Clintons, is you start looking into their past, the Whitewater stuff.
01:44:00.000The whole fucking thing is when you start realizing like, oh, they might all be murderers.
01:44:06.000They might be just par for the course.
01:44:08.000Just like these people, anyone, just think of this, anyone who's willing to say, yes, we should go to war on some shaky grounds, you're a murderer.
01:44:17.000But also, anyone who's saying, I'm going to go and try to get elected and not have any bad shit from my life ever come out.
01:44:28.000I don't know anyone in my life that I've ever met that hasn't had some bad shit.
01:44:33.000Well, the only way you can do that is to kill people that know bad shit about you or scare the fuck out of them so they can't come up with all that bad shit.
01:47:27.000If you have that much money or that much support, why the fuck would you want that gig?
01:47:35.000Because I don't know any president besides Reagan, which, by the way, is a construct, because when he was in power, it was a fucking disaster.
01:49:57.000What kind of a fucking stressful job, even if you were the most perfect Yoda, Buddha, angel that made it to age 45 and never did a crime and never smoked a joint and never did a bump, whatever, you know,
01:50:12.000even if you were, what kind of crazy pressure would that be to all of a sudden, you're the guy who's deciding whether or not military action takes place.
01:52:10.000What I'd like to say is, I agree with you, that we're going to vote a collective me to try to make those decisions, because there is no collective me.
01:52:18.000What I mean by he's you, and I mean by he's the same age, what I mean is, I'm just putting it into perspective, that I don't feel anyone ever...
01:53:30.000I mean, we've never had an American president assassinated by anyone in a foreign country, and the closest to it was from a foreign country, blaming Lee Harvey Oswald, who had gone to the Soviet Union, for killing Kennedy.
01:53:43.000But other guys who've killed presidents before, whether it is Abraham Lincoln, or how many presidents have been assassinated?
01:54:57.000And when you go there, you realize these people, a whole generation or more now, because it's the new generation, were, it was the Cold War.
01:55:06.000It was like, we, on our side, were like, oh, commies eat babies, and you can buy a house for a pair of blue jeans, all that horse shit.
02:00:19.000Because all of a sudden, gas fucking tripled in price.
02:00:24.000So the only thing that really moves policy is how people vote with the dollars.
02:00:31.000Because if you fucking start voting with dollars, with Unilever, with Procter& Gamble, with Ford, with GM, with Exxon, then you're going to move policy.
02:00:44.000You can move policy decisions tomorrow.
02:00:48.000Because these guys have lines to power and they say, fuck, these people aren't buying Fords anymore, they're not buying Exxon gas, they're not buying whatever.
02:00:56.000The idea that oil is so, it fluctuates so much has always been baffling to me.
02:01:02.000It doesn't fluctuate that much, but yeah.
02:02:12.000I think that all this creepy shit that they've been able to do and fuck people over and clandestine operations like that, I think you can't hide it anymore.
02:02:21.000That's why they're so mad at guys like Edward Snowden.
02:02:24.000That's why they're so mad at guys like Julian Assange.
02:02:26.000Those guys, they broke the first holes in the dike and the water's coming through.
02:02:32.000I don't mean that kind of thing, Brian.
02:02:34.000Yes, because if you look at it, you say, if you look at after 9-11, the Saudi royal family who are living here in America were flown out.
02:03:09.000So what happens is if we have a problem with supply, we go to Saudi and say, what OPEC should have been, which was how can we drive prices up?
02:03:22.000Saudi Arabia actually deneutered because they said, okay, we're going to fucking drive prices down whenever the states say yes.
02:03:35.000Because we are Saudi Arabia's friend, and we use them to go up and down, Bin Laden, who comes from one of the fucking richest families in Saudi Arabia, said, fuck you.
02:03:57.000It all comes from Saudi Arabia because of oil and because we force them to, you know, lower oil prices, which makes us money, which then they see as we're in cahoots, and then boom.
02:04:09.000That's why there's resentment against us.
02:04:11.000When you find out about these, you know, small countries that were doing terrible up until oil production, and then they became like this most incredible magical land where everything is essentially free.
02:04:43.000If you fly into Abu Dhabi, which has the two largest mosques in the world, you fly in and there's a picture from 1957. And it's a mud fort and like four huts.
02:06:18.000If you flew over Manhattan, you know, if Manhattan was abandoned in the desert, it would be like ten times more insane than finding the pyramids because the structures, there's so many of them.
02:06:28.000What I find crazy about pyramids and actually Bronze Age weapons is that we can't build weapons like that anymore.
02:06:40.000There was a thing I was watching, so therefore it has to be true because it was on TV, about Bronze Age swords that were so insanely strong.
02:06:51.000Because I always thought they were shitty lead swords or copper swords or whatever.
02:06:55.000They had Bronze Age armor and Bronze Age swords and they would shoot like a Bronze Age armored vest with like a modern day rifle and it couldn't penetrate it.
02:08:10.000Yeah, but what I want you to do is there's got to be an article about Bronze Age weaponry being more sophisticated than modern day weapons.
02:09:42.000And also, you're not going to shock their family.
02:09:45.000Their family was under the, like, they were under the reign of a dictator, like a religious dictator, an old cunt.
02:09:51.000He was an old crazy asshole who screamed to people and scared the fuck out of them and had them all believing that his way was the only way.
02:10:56.000Some people are easily led, and instead of finding some nice religious leader who's put together a nice community and they all have picnics and shit, they found an asshole.
02:11:09.000I mean, that's really essentially what happened.
02:11:11.000They got roped into some shithead's gravity, and now he's dead.
02:11:16.000Yeah, they definitely shouldn't protest his funeral, man.
02:12:45.000But it would be like the number one show on TV, but people would come home at like 3 in the morning, and he was a clown who would buy like the advertising spots for like a grand.
02:12:56.000And so it was this huge show that millions of people would watch, but all the advertising would be about the Brooklyn clown.
02:13:05.000It's actually really cheap to get advertising late at night.
02:14:18.000Like, he put the pedal to the metal, spent millions of bucks that he had robbed from little old ladies who thought they were going to lose weight.
02:15:34.000So then, Poole takes this big fucking slide afterwards, but everybody sort of hopes and prays that this guy gets his shit together and comes back to Poole.
02:15:44.000He's like the savior of Poole, this fucking crazy guy who rips off old ladies.
02:15:49.000I actually want to do that story as a movie.
02:20:51.000To a real pool player, you watch his goofy stroke and shots that he'd make, you're like, get out of here with that fucking combination bank shot.
02:23:37.000You really need to put in the numbers, the hours, because what you're doing when you're playing, when you get really good, is you are so in tune with the amount of effort that it takes to knock your stick into this ball that you're literally counting the revolutions with feel that the ball's going to make.
02:23:55.000It's like archery in a lot of ways, in that when you're actually executing, it requires absolute complete concentration.
02:24:06.000And there's something that's very attractive to me about anything that requires absolute complete concentration, whether it's martial arts, whether it's pool, whether it's archery.
02:24:15.000I think there's something deeper that's going on.
02:24:17.000I think my brain is recognizing that it needs some intense stimulation.
02:24:22.000But that's what I like about the hustler and color of money is...
02:24:34.000But when he's going, he's like, I can't be beat, motherfucker.
02:24:37.000Well, did you ever see there's a scene in The Hustler where he plays this guy, or in The Color of Money, where he plays this guy, Grady Stevens?
02:28:36.000As the star who never says a fucking word.
02:28:38.000And by the way, it's like Burt Lancaster did the same thing with The Leopard in Italy where it was a huge successful film where he spoke in Italian and he did it phonetically.
02:29:13.000And then, but Jackie Gleason has this, like, huge French, like, you know, film, like, that's, like, French fucking, like, cultural, where he's the star of it as this janitor in a building, and he never says a word.
02:29:28.000When I lived in New York, I had a friend who, one of his friends knew the guy, it was a fucking cockeyed connection, and But they were all in the music business, like rock and roll guys, like one of them was in this band.
02:29:42.000He knew a dude who somehow or another knew someone who bought Jackie Gleason's old home.
02:29:48.000And Jackie Gleason, this is the story.
02:29:52.000Jackie Gleason is obviously third hand.
02:30:02.000And they're talking football and throwing back some fucking Jack and Cokes.
02:30:06.000And Nixon's like, you want to see a fucking UFO? They get in Air Force One and they fly to some military base where they've got a crashed flying saucer.
02:30:18.000And Jackie Gleason from then on becomes a crazy UFO believer.
02:30:24.000And Jackie Gleason has this backyard in upstate New York and he has a fake UFO designed and built in his driveway to replicate the thing that he saw.
02:30:33.000He hires a bunch of people to try to recreate something.
02:30:36.000He puts it together in his head, sort of like a crime sketch.
02:31:18.000I'll make up a story, not even realize I made it up, put it out there, and then I'll find it on Wikipedia and I'll use it as a reference to prove when I tell the story again.
02:31:44.000There was another size Jenkins, extremely serious, armchair UFO researcher, and prided himself on a huge collection of UFO-related books, which numbered into the thousands.
02:32:29.000What a beautiful thing it would be if they really did have like a hangar 18. You know what I want when we're old and we're sitting on the cove drinking our drink, looking at the water, just me and you, gray, old silverbacks, and someone's going to go, you know what?
02:32:43.000Fucking Jackie Gleason went to Area 51 and saw that shit.
02:39:22.000And by the way, I just came back from a long trip doing a shoot and I spent three days on a boat in the middle of a cove and I'm like, I'm trying to get to my cove.
02:39:32.000I just kept repeating that because I'm just trying to get down there, get to the cove and fucking chill the fuck out.
02:39:38.000Well, I think everybody ultimately has this ideal image in their head of some golden retirement or some point in time where everything's going to be still.
02:40:14.000What I'm saying is that I think if you really did do nothing, if you really sat somewhere and did nothing, you would only like it for a few days.
02:40:44.000It's probably the cove becomes like this ultimate magnet because you're fucking redlining shit all day long.
02:40:51.000Trying to sleep with the knowledge of Liberia's general buck naked running around when he'd killed how many fucking kids and eaten their hearts.
02:41:00.000You know, you're fucking hitting the gas all day long, man.
02:41:04.000You need to go down to Peru, get some ayahuasca, cleanse your soul, reboot your system.
02:41:09.000You've probably seen way too much shit, man.
02:41:16.000I'm going to build the cove and you're going to come.
02:41:18.000Do you ever consider that, that everybody has this sort of crazy role in this weird machine that is life, this weird complex algorithm that's the human race?
02:42:16.000Because I don't know about you, but when people come up to you in the street and say, hey dude, fucking awesome.
02:42:21.000You're like, I don't know you, I don't know anybody, I don't know whatever.
02:42:26.000But what I will say is, you sit there at some point and go, this shit, I spent 40 years turning the other way and saying, I don't give a fuck, or I'm going to just get drunk, or I'm going to drink a beer, or I'm going to go get laid, or I'm going to just fucking do what I do.
02:42:42.000Because getting through the day is hard.
02:42:44.000And at a certain point, you get a little bit older.
02:43:05.000I waited for somebody else to fucking say this shit, and nobody's saying it.
02:43:11.000And I'm not the best person, and I'll tell you right now, I'm not the best person to be saying this shit, but we have to start saying shit, otherwise we're fucked.
02:43:22.000Look, no one's the best person, but you are about as good an example as you're going to get, because you bridge the gap.
02:43:30.000You're a regular human who lived a regular life, who got to a point in your life where something mattered to you much more than it mattered before, when you had children.
02:44:29.000But having kids is selfish because I'm selfish because I want my kids to fucking...
02:44:39.000But isn't the ultimate goal to see how much you love your kids and say, man, if the whole world could love each other the way I love my kids, we would have no fucking problems.
02:44:47.000Any problem we would have, we would work out.
02:44:50.000But isn't the reality that people don't even do anything when they have no strife?
02:44:55.000When they have no thing they're battling against?
02:44:58.000They don't really fucking strengthen their resolve.
02:45:00.000They don't really get their shit together.
02:45:02.000It seems like we almost need resistance in order to get anything done.
02:45:07.000We almost need someone to oppose us in order to strengthen ourselves to a position where we move forward.
02:45:13.000And I also think that If left to our own devices, you're like, it goes back to that zero-sum game like we were talking earlier about saying what we've gotten to is this realpolitik zero-sum game.
02:45:27.000There isn't a zero-sum game when you have kids.
02:45:30.000There isn't just there's a winner and a loser and I kill you and then you are dead.
02:45:35.000When you have kids, everything becomes like, well, I won, but guess what?
02:46:15.000Because all the bad shit, all the stuff that you roll your eyes, all the shit you say, you know, this is fucking bullshit, this is stupid, we shouldn't be doing this, I got serious.
02:46:24.000Because then you're like, okay, it's fine.
02:47:02.000Did you see that NASA report when they looked at climate change and a bunch of different factors and they were talking about the future of the human race?
02:47:27.000It's because I'm like, you know who's done a bad job?
02:47:29.000It's the scientific community at messaging the fact that, okay, if there's a fucking loophole, if there's like, well, it's this or this within 6%, and then everybody else goes, well, 6% is this and this, you're like, hold on a second.
02:47:46.000We are 60 years ahead of our worst case projection.
02:47:50.000The worst case projection of the IPCC 10 years ago.
02:49:45.000Which is true, that 90% of uranium isotopes, you know, 235, etc., which we can't dispose of.
02:49:55.000The majority of their energy is still left in there, over 90%.
02:49:59.000So he's like, okay, we've come up with these reactors where we can take the old energy rods that we can't even dispose of, deplete them, and then that will fuel the Earth's energy needs for the next 10,000 years.
02:50:14.000Because all of those energy rods from the Soviet Union, from us, uranium-235, we can all do it.
02:50:23.000Now, maybe not true, He's 23 years old.
02:51:41.000That seems to be something that you find more of in the tech community.
02:51:46.000And I think it's because you're dealing with some really hyper-intelligent human beings.
02:51:50.000And along with that hyper-intelligence and that connection to each other that they have because of the internet, I think you see people that have a better moral company.
02:51:59.000Well, they're also trying to solve global problems by using technology.
02:52:04.000Now, I'm not good at technology, but...