Why are razors so damn expensive? The answer may surprise you! This episode is brought to you by the Dollar Shave Club and is sponsored by Dr. Carver's Easy Shave Butter and One Wipe Charlies. Also, they have manly butt wipes. They are way more hygienic for your booty hole than the one you use on your butt. Thanks to our sponsor, DollarShaveClub, we hope you enjoy this episode and that you leave with a smile on your face and a better sense of humor. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts or wherever else you get your stuff. You can also join our FB group and join the conversation by using the hashtag , and tag to be featured on the next episode of . and in the comments section below. Thanks for listening and share the podcast with your friends, family, and family! Timestamps: 0:00 - Why are Razors So Damn Expensive? 6:30 - Why should you get a new one every month? 8:15 - How much do you spend on a razor? 9:00 11:20 - What are you going to shave? 12:00 Is shaving a waste? 13:30 15:00 Should you shave every single day? 16:40 - What kind of razor you use? 17:00 Do you shave your pubes? 18:00 Are you a pig? 19:00 Can you keep it clean? 21:00 How much money you should you shave it? 22:00 What is a good thing? 23: What do you need to shave your ass? 25:00 Would you like to shave it better? 26:00 Does your girlfriend shave it so much? 27:30 Do you need it more than once a week? 30:00 Will you shave more than that? 31:40 Do you have a good butt wipe? 32:30 Should you wash it more often? 35:40 Can you wash your face? 36:30 Is your butt? 37:30 Can you be a manly? 39:30 Does your butt suck it better than your ass more than you can you really shave your face with a towel? 40:40 Is it more hygenic? 45
00:02:34.000Yeah, you've got to have a rugged face, son.
00:02:36.000For everybody else, dollarshaveclub.com is the way to go.
00:02:40.000This is the way to go, though, for real.
00:02:42.000If you're thinking about saving money, like how can I... If you're looking at all your bills and you go, there's got to be some waste in here.
00:02:50.000For sure your razors are a waste if you could whack it down to a buck a month.
00:03:44.000And you head in there, you unload, and if you had a little one-wipe charl in your pocket, of course you can make your own single use with a small Ziploc bag that you'd use for sandwiches or drugs.
00:03:53.000I actually have a thing, a little small travel size one in my car I use for before I go to massage parlors if I don't feel fresh.
00:09:16.000Yeah, he's very fucking knowledgeable about houses, and he's got that show now on Spike where they bust people who are bad contractors to catch a contractor.
00:12:52.000Yeah, if you had a camera on you, just set up a camera and leave it there, and you sell cell phone covers, those glittery cell phone covers.
00:13:30.000By like day three, you would have an act.
00:13:32.000You would already know things that you could say to people that were hilarious on camera.
00:13:37.000But, you know, here's the rub, because, you know, I'm older now, and, like, I have to go to the bathroom pretty much, like, every 35 minutes.
00:14:48.000Because some of those kiosks, they really do, like, they have, like, these, you know, they're selling things now that are really, I guess you could say, like, old school sorcery.
00:15:54.000Yeah, I only heard, when I was a little kid, the comedy albums I heard for the longest time We're all just like Cheech and Chong type stuff.
00:16:10.000He was already doing like those big theater shows and stuff like that.
00:16:13.000I mean, maybe there's like ones from the 60s, the early 60s, where it was like, you know, like he's really super polite, you know, because, you know, like he had to come in through the kitchen, you know, back segregation style, you know, like one of those kind of things.
00:16:24.000But other than that, I remember his stuff and it was always like a big event, you know?
00:16:29.000Yeah, he's a guy who probably doesn't get enough credit, like, as a stand-up comic.
00:16:33.000Yeah, you know, he's a storyteller comic, and I think that's kind of cool.
00:16:36.000But I always liked what you said, like a Red Foxx.
00:18:10.000He, you know, I'm not through the whole book yet, but him and Red Fox had this kind of like love-hate relationship because Red Fox was like hardcore and Flip Wilson was like, you know, the up-and-coming guy.
00:18:21.000And supposedly like Red was really kind of like tough loving on Flip.
00:18:27.000And then Flip was like, you know, he'd borrow money from me.
00:18:58.000I remember Flip Wilson from back in the day.
00:19:00.000Yeah, you know, like, when you read the book and you read, like, what he went through and all that kind of stuff, it was like, you know, the trials and tribulations of, like, the early, early road, plus the segregation and all that stuff.
00:19:09.000I mean, like, it really is kind of a really interesting story, almost like a Hobbit-like journey adventure, you know, of ups and downs and stuff like that.
00:20:03.000It's just hard to wrap your head around the idea that people were capable of judging people just by the color of their skin just a few years ago.
00:20:52.000Well, I hope it doesn't make everybody think that all 82-year-old Jewish general managers of NBA teams with a super hot 22-year-old girlfriend are racist.
00:21:02.000You know, the dude obviously got set up.
00:21:15.000But what if we find out, like, sometime in the future, you know, just have a guy sit down and stare into a screen for a couple of seconds and they read your eyeballs and go, oh, you fucking hate black people.
00:22:33.000Because I know when my great-grandmother had Alzheimer's, she was racist as fuck, and she thought I was her husband, and, like, it was just...
00:24:26.000Because if prostitution wasn't illegal, none of this would be a problem.
00:24:30.000That guy, look, their relationship, I mean, who knows what it was at one point in time, but it's safe to say...
00:24:36.000That when it boils down to a chick recording you and baiting you to talk bad about black people, that the fucking relationship is, like, she doesn't really like you anymore.
00:26:41.000A person who's 30 would have a really hard time spending a billion dollars.
00:26:45.000I mean, you have to be a real fucking asshole to go through a billion dollars.
00:26:49.000I think this cat, if he just was a little bit more generous with his money, recognized the situation, and said, listen, you know, I got a billion dollars.
00:31:45.000Those are the things where, like, when he put the balloons, you know, to make the shoulder pads and all that kind of stuff, that was the thing where, like, you're like...
00:31:51.000I feel sorry for the next guy who has to follow that because this is going to be like almost a tank beyond tanking.
00:31:57.000Jamie, can you adjust the mic so that people can see Dave's face?
00:32:21.000You know, I'm sure you talked about this, because you, you know, you're a supporter of comedy, but Otto and George, who, you know, I called into ONA, and I go, you know, I think I asked Norton, I go, did he ever work, you know, did he ever work LA? And he's like, no.
00:32:37.000I go, well, he must have worked Vegas.
00:32:38.000And I'm like, for those, you know, the fans listening and all that, he was, he recently passed away.
00:34:41.000Now, like, the kids come out, they're all rolling on, you know, Adderall, and, you know, they got their phones out, they're happy, you know, they're just glad to be out.
00:34:48.000I had a cheap thing that I would do, where I'd get them on my side, like, right away, when I'd do a prom show.
00:34:54.000I don't remember the exact wording, but it was something along the lines of, you know, what you guys are right now is adults that don't know anything.
00:35:04.000And all these motherfuckers that are adults that are telling you what to do, look at their lives, look how miserable they are, and stop.
00:35:11.000Stop the whole thing, take it from here.
00:35:14.000You know, it's basically like the foundation of my philosophy that I formed over life, but this is when I was 21, and I really was way too stupid to have opinions.
00:35:56.000What's that show that the improv does once in a while where they bring all those kids from a camp and you're like, I'm doing comedy in front of 11 year olds?
00:39:33.000And, like, you know, I'm not putting down the other clubs, but I'd say, like, that's as clubby and New York clubby as it gets here, you know?
00:39:44.000It's also the least intrusive and sometimes it goes bad because it's LA and there's a lot of people in LA that want a lot of fucking attention.
00:39:52.000There's a lot of people in LA that don't make good audience members because they want a lot of attention and there's no crowd control at the comedy store.
00:40:05.000She thought that would create the most comedy, which it probably did, but, you know, you're dealing with so many dickwads there.
00:40:12.000If you put that club in other cities, like, if that club was in New York, you know, same look, same feel to it, you'd probably get better audiences.
00:40:21.000There's definitely a difference in the audience out here, and I'm not...
00:40:25.000I'm not saying it's wrong or anything, but there's a lot more watchers here than actual, like, you know, you feel like they're, like, you know, like, you don't know if they're having a good time because they're just kind of sitting and watching.
00:40:37.000Whereas in New York, there's a little bit more interaction.
00:40:39.000There's a little bit more give and take.
00:40:41.000But I would say on a whole, I'm sure your audience is live when you go on the road or, like, you play, like, the Ice House or something like that.
00:41:34.000We bring them out for desk broad shows.
00:41:36.000Well, that's good that you connect with them like that.
00:41:38.000And I know your fans like it that way.
00:41:40.000But I'm saying like, you know, especially when I did the Comedy Underground, you know, I was like, you know, this is like the last roundup of the Rough Dirty.
00:44:39.000I don't know what channel it was, but it wasn't like NBC or CBS. No, it was like local Channel 9 or Channel 3 or something like that in New York.
00:45:16.000There was like a couple of great comics that were like hanging out there and like, Dana Gould, who was like a boy comic, you know that, right?
00:49:37.000That to me is like when people go like, what's the road like?
00:49:39.000I'm like, have you ever smelled a road comics car?
00:49:42.000That, there is no, it's somewhere between submarine and like, I mean, it smells like 15 different types of Taco Bell from like different states.
00:49:50.000Jimmy John's mixing with Delta, you know, it's like the Charlie wipes would give up on that.
00:49:55.000There would be nothing, like the guy shat in there, he fucked in there, you know, he cried in there, you know.
00:50:28.000I know that he collects Porsches, and I think a lot of these cars that he used on the show, he actually just rents for the show because he's had a couple breakdown before, and he's just like, oh, they're going to send us another one.
00:50:38.000So I think maybe he just gets these cars for just the show.
00:52:43.000East Coast, I have other guys that do that, but now they're all headliners, so I feel like I've done my job with them.
00:52:48.000But I like to use local guys too because I feel like, you know, a lot of guys roll into town, they bring their own support, and then these local guys are like, I never get on my own stage.
00:53:10.000Shitty material that I couldn't believe I had to listen to or just douchey guys.
00:53:17.000Like remember when we did that Maxim tour with Charlie Murphy?
00:53:20.000Remember that one guy that we ran into in Boston that was so fucking creepy?
00:53:25.000He was like hanging around the green room and he was hammered and he was like staring at us sideways and he was like creepy, jealous, acting like a dick.
00:53:32.000And we're sharing a green, me and Charlie Murphy and John Heffron, two great guys.
00:53:35.000We're sharing this green room with this idiot, and then they just kicked him out.
00:56:35.000Some guys will drive for it, of course, but then there's got to be some local guy, just a degenerate gambler guy that you're trying to call up.
00:56:43.000Oh, I didn't know you lived in Reno, or something like that.
00:56:47.000It's good that you do it, and I think that all the comics...
00:56:51.000They know it's important that they tip the respect back up.
00:56:55.000So this guy in the green room with Charlie, I don't know what that was about.
00:57:29.000Yeah, it's also like, you feel like you get upset if you bring someone, you know, or you have someone local open and it doesn't work out, and you're like, I could have had Tony Hinchcliffe.
00:57:48.000I mean, at Brea, we had, like, probably four guest spots, plus Sean, plus Tony, and, like, it was a long show, but, you know, the crowd really was digging the fact that, like, there was, like, all these, like, fresh faces coming up, and they were like, wow, somebody else, you know, like, and, you know, it's the door guys and all that kind of stuff,
00:58:03.000and, like, when I worked the door at the improv back in the 80s, whatever, that was, like, our big moment when somebody would go, like, hey, you can go on stage, you know, like, you got five minutes, clear these people out, whatever it is, and I was like, you know.
00:58:15.000It's cool that some clubs are into that.
00:59:43.000I don't remember the name of the place, but anyway, Stan Hope's on stage, and there's a very small amount of seats, and then there's a back area near the bar that we were all standing at.
00:59:51.000It was me, and Brian, and who else came?
00:59:57.000Anyway, so Stan Hope, and I think Brendan Walsh opened for him.
01:00:03.000Stan Hope, and so, you know, about an hour and a half, the whole show total, something like that, and by the time 20 minutes was going on, I was like, my fucking...
01:00:36.000I've been trying to talk to Doug for like a couple weeks now.
01:00:38.000I know he's on a super big club tour, I mean like a bar tour.
01:00:42.000But there's a show on Historytown, you love history stuff, called The Evolution of Hitler or The Evolution of Nazis or something like that.
01:00:50.000And it shows, like, Hitler, like, the early years.
01:00:52.000Kind of like the, you know, the, whatchamacallit, saved by the bell, the early years.
01:02:31.000All of us in comedy, we got to see other people work, and we learned from them, and we talked to them, and they gave us advice on who to call.
01:02:40.000We all got help from the other headliners.
01:02:42.000We all did, as we were becoming professional.
01:02:47.000I mean, I really was so obsessed with doing material and like, you know, getting on.
01:02:53.000I think that they kind of saw like, hey, this guy really wants to do it.
01:02:56.000So, you know, they kind of, you know, you know what I'm saying?
01:02:58.000Because I never would get in their face.
01:03:00.000Like, I remember just like asking a guy like, you know.
01:03:03.000I hate to ask you this, but, you know, like, do you know any, like, open mics?
01:03:07.000And, like, you know, they were like, yeah, no, that's a good question.
01:03:10.000And then, you know, they sent me the open mic, and then I didn't see that guy again for, like, five years, you know, because I was doing the open mics, you know?
01:03:20.000That's very cool when you run into someone like that.
01:03:23.000Yeah, I mean, like, you know, whenever they come up to you and go, like, you know, I'm thinking of doing comedy, and then you go, like, you know, you should try it here and here.
01:03:29.000They always have that look of, like, well, I thought that you were going to...
01:04:59.000And so for the longest time, we had this little negative thing back and forth until I actually wound up having a conversation with him and doing the podcast.
01:05:09.000The reason why I wouldn't go after him is because when I was an open-miker, he pulled me aside one day after my set and just said, hey, you're doing the right thing.
01:06:16.000Well, I started in New York, and then I met...
01:06:19.000Mark and Tom Rhodes were the two guys that I always found them incredibly mysterious because they had already lived in other cities for a few years.
01:06:28.000I didn't even know that was possible in comedy because I was stuck in this open mic world.
01:07:37.000I didn't meet him until LA. Okay, yeah.
01:07:38.000I met him in LA. So, like, in New York, I know he was there for a couple years and, uh, Then he bopped out to LA. And then I think it was just bi-coastal.
01:07:46.000I mean, they were on the road pretty much.
01:08:14.000The 50 people comedy store shows in the OR. You know what's cool about the comedy store?
01:08:19.000When the crowd is there really to laugh and not just because they made a mistake and they went in there because they thought it was like the parking garage for the Hyatt.
01:08:27.000Don't you ever feel like there's people sitting there going like, wait a minute, this isn't the Hyatt.
01:09:01.000Just like people walking around, like House of Blues people?
01:09:04.000Yeah, there's that, and then there's also like, just like LA actors, you know, like people who are like, just like I was saying earlier, they're like a little needy.
01:09:12.000They need attention, they don't make the best audience members.
01:09:14.000I've seen more heckling at the store than anywhere on the planet, right?
01:10:04.000And all the guys that, like, the legends that play there, like Shandling and Leno and stuff like that, I guess, I assume they had played there when they were younger, and they just, like, came up through this, like, amazing system of, like, you know, they were already kind of famous, or they were, like, the best comics in town or something like that, and they would do their new material there, and it's a great place for it,
01:14:49.000That's an important little piece of integrity when it comes to the connection that you have with an audience that a lot of agents, they don't understand that.
01:15:56.000The guy who did my special, Scott, he was the director, and we were both figuring out how to do it.
01:16:03.000I knew I didn't want it to look like a theater show with the pans and the booming, all the boom shots.
01:16:08.000So we did it all with little cameras, and then the GoPros, which were kind of cool because we gave it to the audience, so they're right there.
01:16:15.000So it gives you the ultimate seat in the house by watching it.
01:16:26.000I'm like, whoa, dude, that's like a Lenny Bruce move right there, and it's really just me doing my shitty act, but it looks so much better on the GoPro, you know?
01:16:32.000Well, the idea of doing it with the audience holding up the cameras is fucking genius.
01:17:31.000Wendy is another, I guess you could say, unsung hero in comedy because her club is about the comics and even though she doesn't get as much attention as some of these other bigger clubs, she really is important.
01:17:52.000Like those clubs, her system of open mics and getting open mics and then turning them into features or turning them into MCs rather and then the features and then eventually the headliners.
01:18:01.000That's a, you know, that's an important part of the whole scene there in Denver.
01:18:30.000I think it used to be that there was real shit parts of the country.
01:18:33.000You would go there and you'd go, oh, this spot sucks.
01:18:35.000But that's way Way less now, because the kids that we're dealing with grew up with the internet.
01:18:39.000Everywhere you go, you're going to get a certain amount of people that get it.
01:18:43.000I think that's probably the best indication of how much different the world is, our country is, culturally, than it was back in the 70s and the 80s and the 90s without the internet.
01:18:54.000You would go to places where people didn't know shit.
01:18:57.000But anywhere you go now, people have an internet connection, kids are sharing information, they're just more informed.
01:19:05.000Like, they appreciate good comedy, and they'll come out to see you.
01:19:07.000They'll come out to see you everywhere you go.
01:19:08.000Well, I think, you know, I think there's so much other stuff now that they're being inundated with just, like, you know...
01:19:17.000Videos and clips and apps and all that kind of stuff that like, you know, really getting them off that is, you know, I say it on every radio thing, it's like, it's amazing when they show up.
01:19:49.000At the Comedy Cellar, you'll be playing to people who are from Staten Island and also countries that you've only heard about on Game of Thrones.
01:19:57.000Just crazy, weird Transylvanian stan or something like that.
01:20:02.000In a way, it's kind of cool, but in a way, it just shows you American comedy.
01:20:39.000Doug, who is my guy of like, you know, he goes to England for like, I don't know what it is.
01:20:42.000They have him in a theater there for like eight weeks or something like that.
01:20:44.000And he goes like, you know, it's amazing because these guys have to have like a whole new hour to tour through England every time.
01:20:49.000And it's really like You know, like, they're so, like, their crowds there are pretty cool with both political stuff and all that kind of stuff.
01:20:55.000But they're also incredibly judgmental.
01:20:57.000Like, they see it as, like, a theater show or something like that.
01:20:59.000So, you know, I was like, oh, who would want to go through that grief, you know, all the time just to be playing in Piccadilly Circus?
01:21:05.000But now, like, you know this French guy, that comedian?
01:21:08.000He's, like, this kind of, like, racist guy, you know, he does the Holocaust jokes?
01:21:20.000Yeah, no, in France, like, I guess in France you're not supposed to talk about the Holocaust or something like that, so he makes a big deal about it, about, like, freedom of speech, and he's also half...
01:22:11.000I told you I did the Dangerfield shows with him, but he had a meltdown one night on stage where he was going off about Oprah and Oprah Winfrey.
01:23:13.000I don't know if I was watching that or Gorillas in the Mist.
01:23:15.000Well, he told me at one point in time, he was doing a Kennedy bit, and he told me at one point in time he was trying to rig how to make blood squirt out of George's head.
01:23:32.000And you would see his brains, and you could see people going, like, why did I eat if I was going to see the brains of what he's saying is the president?
01:23:42.000But I remember him coming up to me afterwards.
01:23:44.000I think it was one of the first times I met him.
01:23:45.000It was right after his show, and he didn't smooth back the hair yet.
01:28:47.000Pulls up his shirt and shows him his gun.
01:28:49.000That was the club that I think I got to play one time.
01:28:53.000And then I was like, you know, it's such a long train ride from like, well, I was living in Brooklyn too, but it was like such a long train.
01:28:59.000And like, I was so bad compared to everybody else there.
01:29:03.000I was like, Man, like, I thought, like, they would throw me a beating just for being bad.
01:29:07.000Like, the club owner, like, you know, how dare you?
01:30:50.000And it was his sort of idea, I believe, it was, like, to encourage, like, that style of comedy, like a storyteller style, so it would help his storytelling.
01:30:58.000And also just as like a creative exercise.
01:31:01.000You know, have guys go up and tell stories instead of just telling their act.
01:31:21.000I like to think it's more Caroline's comedy.
01:31:24.000It's a showcase show, and it wasn't my idea, but it was definitely something that I thought needed to be done, especially if it's uncensored.
01:32:31.000It's just people stop having as much access to it when, you know, Kinison died, and Dice went away for a little while, and it's just like, you know, they just probably didn't know where to get it.
01:33:26.000It's the Black Fat Pussycat is the bar, and then they have music there most of the time, but they just started doing comedy a couple years back.
01:36:19.000I remember when we did that porn show together.
01:36:21.000I couldn't believe how much you were obsessing over the various aspects of what worked, what didn't work, what's the next scene we should watch.
01:36:35.000I wanted it to be so, like, tribute show, funny show.
01:36:39.000I mean, it was unscripted, but you're right.
01:36:42.000We were obsessing because we did all this prep work on, like, well, this movie was an important movie for our star, and this one was, like, a movie they directed.
01:36:49.000So we were trying to tell, like, this half-assed story.
01:37:47.000She's a sweetheart, and you know, I wish that show was still going, because that was definitely one of the funnest things I've ever done, and I really do feel like...
01:37:54.000You know when you say you're obsessing and stuff like that?
01:37:56.000It usually takes any show about a season to figure itself out.
01:38:00.000Maybe not so much now because I guess people are better at television or something like that.
01:38:05.000But even when you're the guy who comes up with the idea, and I came up with that idea with Stuart Bailey, who's a great dude.
01:38:13.000Even though we thought it out and we got it together and all that kind of stuff, you still don't know.
01:41:04.000It tightens up my act when I don't like it.
01:41:05.000When I don't like it, it forces me to cut out the fat, pick up the pace, put a little more juice into this, a little more writing into that, a little more...
01:41:14.000It's all, the whole process I think is, the review part of it is a big part of it for creating new stuff.
01:43:00.000And that's cool that the fans helped you out on that because, you know, I do think that, like, due diligence, you know, and you can't, you can't, like, you know, sometimes, you know, whatever.
01:43:10.000Well, one of those things, like, that's something that if you gave that subject to 100 guys and said, hey, what do you think about milk substitutes?
01:43:19.000Ten of them are going to say, you know, almonds don't have tits.
01:48:16.000Because I was just at a sporting goods store and like I was saying at the club, I go like, you know, they'll lock up guns, but like bow and arrows, that's still free range.
01:49:48.000It's some sort of a game, and you shoot bows and arrows at these moving targets, like a big screen that you would shoot bows and arrows at like a video game.
01:52:21.000Like if you, like my friend Cameron Haynes, he's this famous bow hunter that's, you saw the picture of him in the front of that sight as he's pulling it up.
01:52:29.000He blows holes through elk, like a 1,200-pound elk.
01:52:32.000You shoot the arrow, it goes right through their body.
01:52:42.000Yeah, they're called broadhead blades, and there's like three of them, and they're attached to this steel tip, and they just cut right through the animals.
01:52:49.000Would that go through, like, would it go through armor?
01:56:02.000Isn't it weird how there's memories that you normally can't access, but all of a sudden you go down a road and you're like, oh, what is this?
01:56:12.000You know, it's like, if you had asked me, you know, there was an animated film, it was from the 1970s, and you'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about?
01:56:20.000Like, normally without going down this road, I would never have access to that map.
01:56:24.000But we're going down the heavy metal road.
01:56:26.000As soon as you, you know, we went from creepy and eerie to heavy metal.
02:00:44.000What I liked about Burt Reynolds, not only was he the ultimate sex god, whatever kind of dude, whatever that was, but he also was another guy who directed.
02:00:55.000He was one of those guys, he crossed over to be the director really early on.
02:00:59.000I think he was a franchise guy, like Smokey and the Bandit or whatever it was.
02:01:04.000He made that jump because he was that big a star.
02:01:08.000So he was like one of the last big stars who could do whatever he wanted.
02:01:14.000I mean, people only know him from the Smoking the Bandit days or some of the other crazy shit that he did, but he'd go way back to fucking Deliverance, man.
02:01:21.000Remember, in Deliverance, he used a bow and arrow to shoot that dude.
02:03:58.000So it was almost like their alternative was to go artistic and make this fantasy world through all drawing and animation and, you know, ways where you didn't have to totally make it real.
02:04:09.000Instead of having it be, you know, like, if you went back to, like, really shitty, like, old school King Kong, like, King Kong from the 30s animation, Oh, yes.
02:04:19.000That's kind of what they had from those days.
02:04:21.000But I love that really old, old animation with the steamboat Willie.
02:04:25.000I like where it's like ink, just all black and white.
02:07:57.000I don't know what you're talking about.
02:07:58.000Oh, okay, well, it's like Revolutionary War era spy ring, you know, the Americans, but they have great dialogue.
02:08:04.000It's like, you have to leave, you have to get to Delaware!
02:08:07.000You know, it's like all local stuff that you can get there on a bus ride now, but it's like, I don't know, it's going to take me three days to get to Jersey.
02:08:13.000And then, you know, like, they're a colonial spy, so it's, like, boring.
02:08:19.000But, you know, it's, like, educational.
02:09:30.000They would have him drive, like, be like, the Fuhrer's in that car, and, like, you'd never see him, and they would zig-heil the car, and then he would, like, go out.
02:12:56.000Yeah, I don't think that's what I... I think that there was something else, like the English version, because that seems like that was just done a couple years ago.
02:16:24.000No, I definitely think that taking care of your body helps mitigate a lot of the stress that everybody feels, especially when you do a lot of things like I do and travel a lot like I do.
02:16:34.000You're involved in a lot of different things.
02:16:39.000Yeah, well, that's why I feel like I started doing some kettlebells and something like that, and I immediately felt horrible, but then I started feeling better just because it really is like a stress reliever, but nothing beats cigarettes.
02:18:27.000But it's like, do you understand that people are doing electronic cigarette because they can't do this thing, which is worse?
02:18:32.000So it's like, give them a break for at least a year of, like, let them smoke these electronic cigarettes before you, like, clamp down again on them for that, you know?
02:18:39.000Well, the problem with the electronic cigarettes is not the standard ones, like those little blues that push out vapor.
02:20:19.000But, you know, one of the biggest things I miss when I do quit, when I try doing these electronic cigarettes, or I try not to smoke, is the smoking period.
02:20:28.000You know, where you're outside talking to other smokers, and there's like something to that.
02:20:32.000Camaraderie, where you're all killing yourself together.
02:21:06.000The reason why I ask you is not because I want to pester you, but because everybody that smokes that smart, like you, I always feel compelled to try to get their point of view and see if they have a point of view, if they just deal with it, they compartmentalize it, they don't think about it.
02:21:35.000You know, so I just, when a guy like you is a smart guy, and I see you doing it, and you love it, you fucking can't wait to, can I fire this up?
02:21:42.000Well, I mean, we have been here three hours, right?
02:22:24.000I have to do the notes at night so that they can edit during the day, and then I go in at night.
02:22:29.000Now, like with all these, like with radio, as you know, like radio and all that stuff, it's like there's a weird schedule to all that and then doing shows at night because I never stopped doing shows, you know?
02:23:33.000I do love, like, you know, smokers do, like, I'm just talking about, like, my dad and his friends, like, they would have amazing, like, smoker superpowers where it's like, you know, they couldn't do anything, but, like, if there was, like, something like, you know, hey, I need your help, what happened?
02:23:48.000My car fell in a ditch, and, like, they would just, like, come out with a cigarette in their mouth and, like, lift up the car.
02:23:52.000I was like, man, that's so cool, you know?
02:23:55.000Well, they would always work on cars with a cigarette dangling out of their mouth, gasoline everywhere, oil, everything everywhere.
02:24:01.000Yeah, no, just like there's that smoker dude superpower.
02:24:04.000Like, I guess on Mad Men you see some of it, too, where, like, they're constantly smoking all the time, doing whatever they do.
02:24:08.000But those are, like, real cigarettes, by the way.
02:24:35.000It doesn't have all the chemicals you're burning.
02:24:37.000The chemicals probably help the cigarettes evaporate better.
02:24:41.000Well, I'm just saying that I can usually tell three hours, that would have been probably coming up on half a pack, so that's like 10 cigarettes.
02:27:18.000It doesn't mean that they're not intelligent, but that's no different than you being able to tell that someone's from New York, or you being able to tell that someone is from Florida or the South.
02:28:04.000If you heard a black guy talking, and you thought that he was a white guy, and then you met him and you realized he was black, you'd be like, wow, that's kind of interesting.
02:28:13.000It's way worse when you talk to a guy on the phone, you think it's a black guy, you show up it's a white guy, and you go, oh, Christ.
02:28:22.000There's almost always an idiot on the other end.
02:28:25.000If you run into a white guy that's talking like a black guy on the phone, like you're convinced you're about to meet a black guy, and it's a white guy, 99% of the time that guy's a moron.
02:28:36.000But if you're talking to a guy on the phone, and it's a black guy, and you don't know it's a black guy because he sounds like a white guy, He's usually just a regular guy.
02:28:52.000I could always tell him Mexican because they have that little Mexican twang to him.
02:28:55.000Unless a white dude was raised by black people, sequestered, like in a scientific experiment, they took him only around black people his whole life, then I could understand him talking like that.
02:29:05.000Willie Hunter, I don't know if you remember the comedian Willie Hunter, he's been on a few Death Squad shows.
02:30:22.000Yeah, I love hearing an accent that I... Especially, probably, because I... Pretty aware that those aren't going to be around forever.
02:30:31.000In the future, a thousand years from now, there's not going to be any accents.
02:30:34.000Well, like in Gangs of New York, you know, when they had like the different, you know, because they were like Irish, but they were New York.
02:30:39.000So like they had to kind of think of this kind of turn of the century, New York, kind of like really, really down and dirty accent.
02:30:46.000It sounded more like it was wherever, like Ireland, than it was there.
02:30:50.000But it was cool to hear because you're thinking like, you know, when did we really start talking like we talk instead of like the English talky talk, you know, like in England?
02:31:10.000You know, like radio, like when everybody started hearing what everybody else sounded like, that's when they started like probably mimicking it.
02:36:17.000Us sitting down with these hurried, rushed topics we would go to really quickly on the panel wasn't as good as him doing his little shtick in front of the crowd.
02:36:26.000He is so good and like his, you know, I don't even want to besmirch it, but his crowd work is so like, is so ahead of, I mean, I basically learned how to work a crowd by watching him at the Comedy Cellar and other places that he was so classy and so intelligent that like it would take you a minute to get the reference because he was so,
02:37:39.000People would always tell me they were doing me, and then I'd be like, you know, there's really nothing you can do about it.
02:37:47.000It did help me move forward in comedy of like, well, I better...
02:37:52.000I better do, I better get better, you know, like if somebody's doing me.
02:37:56.000But I don't think there's anything like, I don't know, I was never like, hey dog, you're doing my, you know, get your hands out of my pocket.
02:38:27.000And that eventually, like, when you get strong enough, then you got to kind of, like, say, like, well, that's too much like this guy, and that's not like me, and I should do this.
02:38:35.000But, you know, it did make me go, like, you know, I have a lot of bad habits that I really need to drop that people are just mimicking.
02:40:05.000You developed that in the trenches, and you figured out a way to get the point across and have a compelling rhythm that's fun to watch, captivates people, gets them locked in, and someone just came along and ganked that shit.
02:40:19.000But I don't think I really do that that much anymore, because I always felt like that was hacked, that I was doing that kind of rhythm.
02:40:26.000No, it's cool that you guys said that, but I have walked into a room, and I'll see a guy doing it, and I'll be like, oh, I guess he's a fan.
02:40:45.000I'm on my own experience through comedy and hopefully I'll get better and I'll look back on that and laugh.
02:40:53.000And I kind of do now, which is like, Everybody kind of sounds a little bit the same, and then you'll see that one guy that stands out and you're like, wow, we all need to step up our game.
02:41:03.000Yeah, I think what you're doing, that sort of way of thinking, is the most empowering way.
02:41:10.000Yeah, oh yeah, you take control of it.
02:41:13.000You see it for what it is, and you move forward and use it as inspiration.
02:41:17.000Instead of like, there's certain guys that someone will sound like them, and they're like, we were talking about Dane freaking out at, he did it at Steve Byrne, and then he did it for Chris D'Elia, told him that they're stealing his essence.
02:45:11.000Yeah, it didn't work out, but it all comes from the same place.
02:45:13.000The ones that are good and that joke all comes from the same place.
02:45:17.000And, like, she couldn't understand it.
02:45:18.000And then, you know, she's like, you know, and then he did a joke about kicking a girl, like, a pirate-style kicker in her shin and coming her in her eye.
02:45:26.000She's hopping around on one leg going, argh!
02:45:30.000And the lady didn't want to laugh, but he said it on TV, kicking her in the shin and ejaculating her eye.
02:46:15.000Now it doesn't bother me at all because I was like, at least people, you know, and his stuff, his stuff, like, there's so much raw stuff and then there's the actual, like, great, great specials, you know?
02:46:25.000So, you know, like, people, like, have been, like, you know, they'll talk about the raw stuff and I'm like, that's cool that you even like that, you know?
02:46:31.000I guess if you're a super fan, you'll like everything.
02:46:33.000Who was the first guy that you ever saw that made you go, I want to be a comic?
02:46:37.000I think it was listening, you know, the one, you know, I can't think of like the I want to be a comic, but the one guy that I did see that did make me think like, oh my God, that's what a real comic is, would be Bill Hicks.
02:46:51.000Because I did see him and I had already been doing it for a little bit where I was like, you know, I'm doing the open mics, I'm trying to get the jokes together, but then when I saw him do it, because I already was like, Like one of those fans where you're like, you know, you don't even want to make eye contact with the guy because you're like, don't want to get in his space, you respect him that much.
02:47:06.000And I was like, you know, when I saw him live, I was like, wow, that is just it, man.
02:47:10.000He was just throwing away jokes that like you would blow a dude for.
02:47:13.000I mean, they were like, just like, he goes, all right, let me just air some stuff out here.
02:47:19.000His crowd, the way he like handled the crowd also made me like, it was cool.
02:47:23.000And you probably saw him when he was sober, right?
02:48:00.000As far as jokes about the military and jokes about war and...
02:48:06.000That was cool that he did that, but as a comic, that was not my favorite.
02:48:08.000My favorite part was when he was, like, in the shit, handling the crowd, and then the jokes, his jokes, like the Letterman jokes, that, like, you know, like, his first couple of appearances, Letterman jokes, you're like, these jokes are just great.
02:48:21.000You know, like, you're like, this is what it's about.
02:49:28.000One of my favorite bits was when Clarence Thomas was going in front of whatever committee to get on the Supreme Court, and they were investigating the whole, remember that whole thing?
02:49:48.000And he had a whole bit about, just made him realize that he would never run for office, you know, because all the shit they have on, Mr. Hicks, you know, remember that bit?
02:51:12.000Well, then, you know, the whole Leary thing.
02:51:15.000But also, Letterman also, like, his first couple appearances on Letterman, like, you know, I was in college or something like that, I was like, wow, this is really, this guy's amazing, you know?
02:51:23.000Yeah, and Dennis Leary's in his Wikipedia page.
02:51:27.000Oof, that's when you know you fucked up.
02:51:29.000You wind up in the Hicks Wikipedia page, and not flatteringly, I remember that controversy.
02:52:33.000I don't even really want to talk about it because I've talked about him so many times and he got angry that I did before, but hey man, it is what it is.
02:52:40.000He doesn't want to address it, but it's a part of comedy history.