The Joe Rogan Experience - May 22, 2014


Joe Rogan Experience #505 - Matt Farah & Alex Ross


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 38 minutes

Words per Minute

203.95958

Word Count

32,297

Sentence Count

3,612

Misogynist Sentences

90

Hate Speech Sentences

89


Summary

Joe Rogan is back, and he's not here to talk about it. Joe Rogan's back from his car break-in and wants to know if the government is spying on him, and if so, what s the best way to stop them? What s the worst thing they can do to you to make sure you don t get spied on? What do you do with a snitch camera? How do you keep them from spying on you? Do you have a plan to keep them out of your face? Is it possible that the government spies on you to see if you're spying on them, or is it possible they don't even care about what you're doing? Or are they just doing it to keep you safe and secure in their own home? This episode is brought to you by Stamps and LegalZoom, two companies that are changing the way we think about legal advice and legal matters. Stamps is a way for you to avoid going through the line at the post office to send packages with Stampscom s Free Digital Scale and up to $55 worth of free postage that they will provide you in this $110 bonus offer. This month, legalzoom celebrates innovation by helping you launch your dream. You can apply for a patent, secure your invention, register your trademark, or form an LLC, or start your business, all at Legalzoom. They'll provide personal attention you need as well and help take care of all the details. And they'll also connect you with a third-party independent attorney who can help you get the shit straight. So although they're not a law firm, but they re not a self-help but they're a self help law firm. But they re gonna help you do it all the same thing you need to get the legal help you need. You can do it the way you need it, right at home in front of your computer, in your desk at home, in a way you can get a lawyer's secretary. And they re a lawyer s secretary, right in your cubicle, not in your office, in front seat. So don t forget to check it out and get your keys on the other end of the machine. It's not only the keys to a machine that you can actually do it, you re gonna have access to all the legal advice you need, you ll be helping you get it straight, right there.


Transcript

00:00:02.000 Ladies and gentlemen, we have returned from a glorious day of automotive bliss to present you another episode of the podcast.
00:00:08.000 This episode is brought to you by stamps.com.
00:00:11.000 Stamps.com is a way for you to avoid going through the line at the post office to send packages.
00:00:19.000 With Stamps.com's free digital scale and up to $55 of free postage that they will provide you in this $110 bonus offer by using the code word JRE, you will get a free digital scale.
00:00:32.000 Oh yes, sweet bitches, a free digital scale.
00:00:35.000 And you take that, and you use that scale connected to any PC, and you can print up real, legit U.S. postage.
00:00:43.000 Slap that shit on your package, kid, and when the mailman comes, hand it off and And you good.
00:00:50.000 It's over.
00:00:51.000 From here on out, it's in their hands.
00:00:54.000 It's a way to avoid all the nonsense of going to the post office and getting your packages weighed, especially if you run a small business.
00:01:02.000 You can do it right from your computer, right from your desk at work, from your desk at home.
00:01:07.000 Any computer can do it.
00:01:09.000 It's easy, and it's the best way to send shit through the mail.
00:01:14.000 Period.
00:01:16.000 We use stamps.com, and if you use the promo code JRE, You get this no-risk trial, $110 bonus offer, and a free digital scale, and up to $55 of free postage.
00:01:27.000 So, use the code word JRE. Go to Stamps.com, click on the old-school microphone in the upper right-hand corner, because that's how you know it's classy, those old-school Lenny Bruce-style microphones.
00:01:38.000 What do you do?
00:01:39.000 The phases of voice there are crazy.
00:01:41.000 I move around.
00:01:42.000 Yeah, you went from don't know how to read to phone sex operator to normal to radio guy.
00:01:46.000 I'll go strip club.
00:01:47.000 DJ, I'll go race car driver, I'll go flight attendant.
00:01:51.000 I'll mix up my fake voices.
00:01:52.000 Dude, finish the promo as flight attendant.
00:01:55.000 That's stamps.com.
00:01:56.000 Enter J-R-E. Go to stamps.com before you do anything else.
00:02:00.000 Click on the microphone at the top of the homepage and type J-R-E. That's stamps.com.
00:02:06.000 J-R-E. Steady and calm.
00:02:10.000 No freakouts.
00:02:11.000 No panic attacks.
00:02:12.000 Heavy turbulence.
00:02:13.000 Calm.
00:02:13.000 That bitch has been there.
00:02:14.000 Done that.
00:02:15.000 She's solid.
00:02:16.000 She's got a good base.
00:02:17.000 A strong foundation.
00:02:20.000 We're also brought to you by LegalZoom.
00:02:22.000 LegalZoom is a way for you to take care of a lot of legal shit while you're naked and drunk at home in front of your computer.
00:02:27.000 No one can know.
00:02:28.000 And if you think the government's spying on you, you do what I do, son.
00:02:31.000 You put a little piece of tape over that little fucking snitch camera that they have sitting in front of your fucking laptop.
00:02:38.000 You want to see a middle-aged man jerk off?
00:02:40.000 You fucking find it yourself, okay?
00:02:45.000 Sneak in and look at my fucking camera.
00:02:47.000 Anyway, if you go to LegalZoom...
00:02:49.000 He's not kidding, your shit is taped up.
00:02:50.000 He's got capper tape on his camera.
00:02:53.000 Well, am I stupid over here?
00:02:56.000 This month, LegalZoom celebrates innovation by helping you launch your dream.
00:03:01.000 You can apply for a patent to secure your invention, register your trademark, protect your products and services, incorporate or form an LLC to start your business all at LegalZoom.com.
00:03:11.000 They'll provide personal attention you need as well and help take care of all the details.
00:03:15.000 And LegalZoom will also connect you with a third-party independent attorney if you fucking panic.
00:03:21.000 If you're in the middle of filling out the form and you're like, this shit is not right, I'm going to jail.
00:03:26.000 Fuck you, Joe Rogan.
00:03:27.000 All you have to do is contact LegalZoom and they'll connect you with an independent attorney who can help you get the shit straight.
00:03:33.000 So although LegalZoom is not a law firm, they provide you legal help through independent attorneys and self-help.
00:03:42.000 But they're not a law firm.
00:03:43.000 This is important.
00:03:44.000 So don't think this is a law firm.
00:03:46.000 They're just like a...
00:03:47.000 Think of it as just a way for you to take care of shit that you would otherwise have to go to a lawyer, and you can actually do it.
00:03:55.000 The world is changing.
00:03:56.000 Use the internet, okay?
00:03:57.000 It's not a law firm.
00:03:58.000 It's a lawyer's secretary.
00:04:00.000 It's a machine.
00:04:01.000 You have access to a lawyer's secretary.
00:04:02.000 You're pressing keys.
00:04:03.000 There's no one on the other end.
00:04:04.000 It's WebMD, right?
00:04:05.000 They just know what they're doing.
00:04:06.000 It's a code.
00:04:08.000 It's all in there.
00:04:09.000 Figure it out.
00:04:10.000 You can even get divorced.
00:04:11.000 How about that?
00:04:12.000 On fucking LegalZoom?
00:04:13.000 You can get divorced?
00:04:14.000 Yeah.
00:04:15.000 That's awesome.
00:04:15.000 It's beautiful.
00:04:16.000 We should get gay married just to prove we can do that.
00:04:18.000 Doug Stanhope and I were going to do that when we were doing the Man Show.
00:04:20.000 We were going to go to Maine or wherever the fuck it was when we made it legal.
00:04:23.000 We were going to go get married.
00:04:26.000 Anyway.
00:04:27.000 That's a great bit.
00:04:27.000 How did you not do that?
00:04:28.000 The Man Show was a disaster.
00:04:29.000 That's how.
00:04:30.000 Anyway, go to LegalZoom.
00:04:32.000 Go to LegalZoom and use, in the referral box, use the referral code ROGAN at checkout.
00:04:40.000 So that's LegalZoom.com and use the code word ROGAN. Yeah.
00:04:45.000 That's back to phone sex.
00:04:46.000 By the way, that shit never works, right?
00:04:49.000 That's like the worst fucking useless voice that's a cliche ever.
00:04:53.000 It's the sexy phone girl.
00:04:55.000 Because no one thinks that's sexy.
00:04:57.000 No.
00:04:57.000 Like, if a girl's talking to you like, hey, big boy.
00:05:00.000 She's 300 pounds.
00:05:01.000 What kind of grossness?
00:05:03.000 It's 1958. What is that disaster on the other end talking to you?
00:05:06.000 She's like 90. She's probably cutting her nails.
00:05:09.000 The only one that's like it is the scary voice.
00:05:13.000 Welcome to my home.
00:05:14.000 That's not scary.
00:05:16.000 That fucking Dracula?
00:05:17.000 Right?
00:05:17.000 That's not scary.
00:05:19.000 That's like sitcom Dracula.
00:05:21.000 Tonight will be a very special, special creepy show.
00:05:25.000 Oh yeah, it's a Sesame Street, dude.
00:05:26.000 You gotta talk right into that, Alex.
00:05:28.000 Oh, sorry, dude.
00:05:28.000 It's a Sesame Street.
00:05:29.000 No, just pull it up towards you.
00:05:30.000 It moves around a little bit.
00:05:31.000 That was Danny Trejo, by the way.
00:05:32.000 Yeah.
00:05:33.000 Cue music, young Jamie.
00:05:34.000 Let's get this fucking podcast started officially.
00:05:37.000 We're done with commercials.
00:05:38.000 Danny Trejo?
00:05:39.000 That was Danny Trejo?
00:05:40.000 Yeah, you're a vampire.
00:05:41.000 You're a vampire.
00:05:42.000 I was trying to do Joe Rogan.
00:05:43.000 The Joe Rogan experience.
00:05:44.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan podcast by night, all day.
00:05:50.000 Hey everybody!
00:05:52.000 Today on the podcast we have Alex Ross from Shark Works.
00:05:57.000 Porsche aficionado, builder, developer.
00:06:02.000 Are you like an engineer, a designer, creator of the greatest fucking car the world has ever known?
00:06:07.000 Matt Farah today, Matt Farah of the Smoking Tire.
00:06:10.000 You might know him from many of the internet shows that you put out.
00:06:14.000 The Fuel TV show, the YouTube shows you put out.
00:06:17.000 And as of Saturday, NBC Sports.
00:06:19.000 And as of Saturday, NBC Sports, congratulations, young man.
00:06:23.000 You and Chris Harris are my two favorite internet journalists.
00:06:27.000 Thank you.
00:06:27.000 Because you're both regular dudes who fucking really love cars.
00:06:31.000 He's not a regular dude.
00:06:32.000 He's a maniac.
00:06:33.000 He's a maniac.
00:06:33.000 He's a fucking maniac.
00:06:34.000 He's crazier than you.
00:06:35.000 He's way crazier than you.
00:06:35.000 Way crazier than the way he drives.
00:06:37.000 What you guys are is people who have a real passion for automotive engineering and design and the history behind it and the kind of cars.
00:06:46.000 You're a fucking car nut, dude.
00:06:48.000 Big world.
00:06:48.000 A lot of things to appreciate.
00:06:49.000 When we were on the road today, one of the things I thought was fascinating was cars would drive by and you're like, oh, 84 Supra.
00:06:55.000 Look at that.
00:06:56.000 You hear the whine.
00:06:57.000 You had all these.
00:06:58.000 Every fucking car.
00:06:59.000 You're a legit 100% car nut.
00:07:01.000 Yeah.
00:07:02.000 That's cool.
00:07:03.000 I pale in comparison.
00:07:05.000 That guy was a fan, wasn't he?
00:07:06.000 Yeah, that guy was a fan.
00:07:07.000 He had a roll bar.
00:07:08.000 Yeah, that guy was fun.
00:07:09.000 Track day, bro.
00:07:10.000 He was funny.
00:07:10.000 He turned around and came back just to see what the fuck was up.
00:07:13.000 Well, we did have some metal out there.
00:07:15.000 Yeah, there was some metal out there.
00:07:16.000 Some fine cars.
00:07:18.000 Alex and James have built us.
00:07:20.000 So Alex is the guy who, did you find, Shark Works, you're the founder of it too, right?
00:07:27.000 You don't say find, you say created and started.
00:07:28.000 No, he found it.
00:07:30.000 Did you find it somewhere?
00:07:30.000 He didn't found it.
00:07:31.000 It just so happened to have your nickname as the name of the company, Sharky.
00:07:35.000 What a coincidence, that's crazy.
00:07:36.000 Yeah, and I figured why not.
00:07:37.000 Fuck it, this is a sign from God.
00:07:39.000 I just found this thing, and this is what I love to do anyway.
00:07:42.000 He happened to find this tuner company called Sharkboy.
00:07:45.000 They couldn't even spell it correctly.
00:07:48.000 Everybody looked for the O, and there's no O. What is this work?
00:07:53.000 German, you assholes!
00:07:54.000 German cars.
00:07:55.000 I get it, I get it, I get it.
00:07:56.000 They're being crafty.
00:07:57.000 It's like comedy with a K, when it's comedy night.
00:07:59.000 Kooky comedy with a K. Like a morning zoo?
00:08:02.000 Yeah, like the kooky comedy club, KKK. Does that exist somewhere?
00:08:07.000 Probably.
00:08:07.000 If it doesn't, it will.
00:08:09.000 All things will happen eventually.
00:08:10.000 It's at least going to be a Twitter handle in the next few days, for sure.
00:08:13.000 In the last fucking few minutes, people are probably jumping on it right now trying to figure it out.
00:08:17.000 Are we live?
00:08:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:08:18.000 Oh, we are?
00:08:19.000 Okay, cool.
00:08:20.000 So Alex builds cars, and what he does is he takes what's arguably the greatest race car for the street in the world, which is a Porsche, a GT3, and he turns them into these ridiculous GT3s.
00:08:34.000 These GT3s on performance-enhancing drugs, EPO, and all those Lance Armstrong chemicals.
00:08:38.000 These fucking cars are just completely different animals, man.
00:08:41.000 They're fucking fun.
00:08:42.000 Thanks, man.
00:08:43.000 Really loud and interesting.
00:08:45.000 You just pull at them a little.
00:08:48.000 You find the parts you like, like the high-revving nature, the steering, and the whole delivery, the way the power comes on and just builds and builds, and you just pull at that a little more.
00:09:00.000 Seems to accentuate the existing character of the car rather than try and turn it into something else.
00:09:06.000 What year did the car get invented?
00:09:07.000 What was the first Henry Ford automobile?
00:09:10.000 The car?
00:09:13.000 The car?
00:09:13.000 All cars?
00:09:14.000 The first car.
00:09:16.000 1800s, late 1800s.
00:09:17.000 Yeah, there's arguments over who did it actually first.
00:09:21.000 So there was a bunch of people thinking about it?
00:09:23.000 18s, 80s, 70s, 80s.
00:09:24.000 It was the first little fucking carts.
00:09:27.000 They just didn't have a horse pulling them, but that's basically what they were doing.
00:09:30.000 So, on the long shot, we're dealing with 130 years, would you say?
00:09:35.000 Yeah.
00:09:35.000 On the long shot?
00:09:36.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:09:36.000 And on the short, maybe just a couple years less than that?
00:09:39.000 That's not that much time to figure shit out.
00:09:41.000 No.
00:09:42.000 But we were just talking, Alex and I were talking today about the old Porsches, like those...
00:09:47.000 1970s models with the big wooden steering wheel and the skinny-ass tires.
00:09:50.000 And they used to race them.
00:09:52.000 It's like they must have been out of their mind.
00:09:54.000 They were yodos.
00:09:56.000 Every year they have the historic races.
00:09:59.000 And they race this shit from like 1915. You know, these Mercer raceabouts.
00:10:06.000 And they have these riding mechanics.
00:10:08.000 And they're sitting on like fucking Apple boxes.
00:10:11.000 There's two guys.
00:10:12.000 They're on wooden wheels, you know, and they're racing these things.
00:10:16.000 Oh, my God.
00:10:17.000 Yeah, going around Laguna Seca, you know, with million-dollar cars, and they're going like eight-tenths.
00:10:22.000 They're on like a fucking Oregon trail wagon with an engine in it and a handbrake.
00:10:28.000 What we were talking about, which I found was really fascinating, was just in the past just 30, 40 years, look at how much things have changed in the car world.
00:10:36.000 What did we decide?
00:10:38.000 What was the first Porsche?
00:10:40.000 What year was it?
00:10:41.000 65?
00:10:42.000 Yeah, so, well, 911. First Porsche?
00:10:43.000 911, first 911?
00:10:45.000 Yeah, 49. 49 was the first Porsche?
00:10:47.000 Seinfeld's got that fucking thing.
00:10:49.000 Well, you could go back to the Beetle.
00:10:50.000 What is that, probably, like 20 million or something crazy?
00:10:53.000 Estimates are like 6 to 8 million.
00:10:55.000 Jesus Christ.
00:10:55.000 Yeah, but you could go back to the Beetle, really, you know, pre-war if you wanted to.
00:10:59.000 VW Beetle, that's very Porsche.
00:11:00.000 Let's just, like, give them an era and go with, like, the 65, 911, right?
00:11:05.000 That was the first year.
00:11:06.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:11:06.000 Think about that.
00:11:07.000 So that's like 49 years now?
00:11:09.000 It's the 50th anniversary.
00:11:11.000 They released that special 50th anniversary.
00:11:14.000 So think about that, man.
00:11:15.000 How much that fucking car has improved in 50 years.
00:11:19.000 But it's tiny little increments.
00:11:20.000 That's typical Porsche, right?
00:11:22.000 They'll take it and just go like another ring around a tree.
00:11:26.000 It ages and it just gets a little bigger.
00:11:28.000 And I just drove the new 911 Turbo S, which is like stupid time warp fast.
00:11:35.000 Yeah.
00:11:35.000 Well, that's what I was going to get at.
00:11:37.000 At what point...
00:11:38.000 We were talking about this today, and I think it's a fascinating subject, because when you see all these Google cars driving around, like I saw a Google...
00:11:45.000 It wasn't the car that drove itself, but it was a street view thing.
00:11:47.000 Street view car?
00:11:48.000 Yeah.
00:11:48.000 It was driving around, filming everything, taking pictures.
00:11:51.000 No, I was...
00:11:52.000 Look, I find it fascinating.
00:11:53.000 I think that's a felony.
00:11:55.000 It will be eventually.
00:11:57.000 Google will sell it to the government.
00:11:58.000 It'll be the government's map teams assessing.
00:12:02.000 That'll be the new way to make jobs.
00:12:04.000 Demolition Man, bro.
00:12:04.000 It's happening.
00:12:05.000 Dude, it is happening.
00:12:06.000 Demolition Man is fucking happening.
00:12:07.000 We were talking about this today.
00:12:11.000 This is probably not going to be around that much longer.
00:12:14.000 Driving your own car is probably not going to be...
00:12:15.000 And what we've gone from, these shitboxes with skinny-ass tires that slid all over the place, death traps, you couldn't hit the brakes quick enough, they were slow as fuck, terrible handling, rhinos on roller skates, each and every one of them.
00:12:31.000 Right?
00:12:32.000 And now, what we did today, driving these GT3s that you've modified, going through the canyons, and they're just stuck to the ground like a cheetah running up a fucking tree.
00:12:43.000 Cheetahs don't run up trees.
00:12:44.000 It doesn't even make sense.
00:12:46.000 Cheetahs don't even have claws like that.
00:12:47.000 You had us right until the end of it.
00:12:49.000 Leper.
00:12:49.000 Damn it!
00:12:51.000 I think that era for Porsche was the golden era, though.
00:12:55.000 I'd say from 2001 to 2011. What do you say to all these people that long for the air-cooled days?
00:13:02.000 It's like two groups.
00:13:05.000 I like the air-cooled, but they just haven't driven these.
00:13:08.000 And when they do, quite often actually, like I was telling you, like Magnus Walker, he's obviously renowned for air-cooled.
00:13:14.000 He said it was one of the most fun cars he'd been in, you know?
00:13:17.000 No, I'm sure.
00:13:18.000 You know what?
00:13:19.000 Porsche got off to a really bad start with the 996, which you had and told us to be the funniest story about earlier about all the problems.
00:13:28.000 It was a terrible car.
00:13:30.000 And all 996s are bad.
00:13:32.000 Pretty shit.
00:13:33.000 I mean, they are.
00:13:34.000 They're pretty shit.
00:13:35.000 Yeah, unfortunately.
00:13:35.000 And the 993 was pretty dope.
00:13:37.000 Like, the 993 turbo was a fucking epic car.
00:13:39.000 Like, they went from the best it could ever be to the 996. Well, what they did, though, on the 993, they were running out of money, so those were...
00:13:47.000 I mean, they're worth a lot because they didn't build very many.
00:13:50.000 And on the 996, that was the dot-com era.
00:13:53.000 That was when everyone was buying a Porsche.
00:13:55.000 Right.
00:13:55.000 They made tons and tons of them, and they switched to this rather...
00:13:59.000 NAF engine, if you will, that had problems.
00:14:01.000 Except for the turbo and then later the GT3. But I know you had problems with it.
00:14:06.000 Oh, mine was a hunk of shit.
00:14:07.000 But I remember one of the reasons why I got it, because I'll never forget this cover.
00:14:11.000 It was either Motor Trend or Road& Track, and it had the 993 911 Turbo on the cover, and it said, sell your soul and buy this car.
00:14:21.000 Yeah, I think it was...
00:14:23.000 Sell your soul!
00:14:24.000 I think it was Motor Trend, was that one.
00:14:26.000 Whatever it was, I was like, that is goddamn genius.
00:14:28.000 Yeah.
00:14:28.000 And I had a friend who had a 964, and I remember just like, would stare at it and go, look at that goddamn dude.
00:14:34.000 Yeah.
00:14:34.000 They're fucking dope.
00:14:35.000 It was just amazing.
00:14:36.000 Well, that's why, you know, I drove your car today, which is awesome.
00:14:40.000 I got out of your car, and I'm just like, okay, that's the best thing ever.
00:14:43.000 And then I drive Alex's, which is the newer one of your car.
00:14:46.000 You know, 4.1 liter and I was like, oh, shit.
00:14:50.000 That's another level.
00:14:51.000 That's the best.
00:14:51.000 It's crazy.
00:14:52.000 It's fucking crazy.
00:14:54.000 Well, you have driven to give people just a little background on Matt.
00:14:58.000 Matt's one of my, like I said, favorite automotive journalists because he's a real car guy, a guy who really does enjoy cars, but also you have a deep knowledge of the history of automobiles and how they were created and all the different models and all those different things, but nerd.
00:15:13.000 Your guy's driven to fucking every car there is.
00:15:15.000 Yeah.
00:15:15.000 So when you drive a car and say, this is the best car ever, that's a totally different thing.
00:15:20.000 So I had the best car ever for 10 minutes.
00:15:23.000 You did.
00:15:24.000 For 10 whole minutes.
00:15:25.000 You did, yeah.
00:15:25.000 Until Alex stole the thunder with the new one.
00:15:27.000 Fuck, the new one's crazy.
00:15:29.000 You drove it too.
00:15:29.000 Dude, I got the new one and the first thing that I said to him was, oh my god, this is next level.
00:15:33.000 Yeah.
00:15:33.000 I didn't think you could get next level and still keep that rawness, but clearly you can.
00:15:39.000 You know, we try to do sort of the same way that Porsche goes, you know?
00:15:42.000 I mean, we spent a lot of time on that green one that we did in order to develop.
00:15:46.000 It was called Kermit because it was green.
00:15:48.000 Funny, but...
00:15:49.000 Classic.
00:15:49.000 Yeah, classic.
00:15:50.000 Fucking creative is what it is.
00:15:51.000 Oh, it's a dope fucking car, man.
00:15:52.000 It was.
00:15:53.000 That's the car that got me to contact you.
00:15:55.000 Yeah.
00:15:55.000 I remember you saw a video.
00:15:56.000 My wife made that video, actually.
00:15:57.000 Oh, my God.
00:15:58.000 This car is just so...
00:16:01.000 So visceral.
00:16:02.000 It's like, for folks who don't appreciate automobiles, and I completely understand, let me try to put it into perspective, into way you could try to understand why people are, like, maybe you live in New York, you take the subway, you couldn't give a fuck, but you're about to turn this podcast off.
00:16:18.000 Just talk about drugs and fighting again, Joe.
00:16:21.000 Geniuses.
00:16:22.000 There have been geniuses that have, over the course of decades, engineered, re-engineered, redesigned, rethought out these metal boxes with fire inside of them.
00:16:36.000 Making controlled explosions and they've got it down to a point where the car that you just drove, 2.5 seconds, 0-60 in the 911 turbo.
00:16:45.000 What the fuck is that?
00:16:46.000 It's nuts.
00:16:47.000 You actually do have to sort of defy physics because in the past you need Very crazy procedures to do something like that, like racing tires and drag slicks.
00:17:00.000 You gotta heat them up.
00:17:01.000 And they literally have put this stuff called VHD, which is very high traction, which is a spray.
00:17:07.000 It's literally like you'd have to do a drag launch in glue.
00:17:11.000 That's what it is exactly what the fuck it is.
00:17:14.000 You know what I mean?
00:17:15.000 They put down a puddle of glue, set it on fire, and then you have to do your launch in that.
00:17:21.000 Is that why they do those burnouts?
00:17:23.000 Yeah, heat up the tires and get them really sticky.
00:17:26.000 I thought they were just being dicks.
00:17:28.000 Well, they're being awesome.
00:17:29.000 I knew what they were doing.
00:17:31.000 The 911 Turbo, you just roll up to a stop sign.
00:17:36.000 Press one button, left foot brake, right foot gas, and you violate time.
00:17:42.000 And you're breaking every law in the country in three seconds.
00:17:45.000 Yes.
00:17:45.000 Three seconds.
00:17:46.000 Now, how is this?
00:17:47.000 How is it possible that the launch control can make it that much faster?
00:17:51.000 What's the 0-60 if you just had it in drive and you stomped on it?
00:17:56.000 It wouldn't hold the RPMs or build any boost, right?
00:18:00.000 So the 911 turbo is really cool because it builds boost in neutral.
00:18:04.000 And it's one of a very few turbo engines that do that.
00:18:08.000 And so launch control holds the RPM at the exact optimum speed.
00:18:13.000 Builds boost to peak and then just dumps the clutch for you versus being in drive where it starts from one and goes up.
00:18:21.000 So how many seconds do you lose when you just do it from drive?
00:18:25.000 Say if you did it manually and you shifted gears yourself.
00:18:28.000 I'll have to be really honest.
00:18:29.000 I've built and driven a lot of 997 turbos and some 991 turbos and I've never launched them with the...
00:18:38.000 Launch control?
00:18:38.000 No, I always do it with launch control.
00:18:40.000 Really?
00:18:40.000 Because it's so easy.
00:18:41.000 We're all PDK. You know, the old cars that were six speeds, you could launch them, and they were actually quite hard cars to launch.
00:18:47.000 For folks who don't know what you're talking about, PDK means, here's the big debate for folks who are on the subway now, again, ready to turn this fucking thing off.
00:18:54.000 The big debate amongst people in the car world that enjoy sports cars and the engineering of sports cars is the manual transmission, which is with a third pedal, where you have to press in the clutch to shift the gears, or an automatic transmission, or as Alex said,
00:19:09.000 a PDK. It's some long German word.
00:19:15.000 You're supposed to know how to pronounce it.
00:19:17.000 Do you know how to pronounce it?
00:19:18.000 Yeah.
00:19:21.000 He's Canadian.
00:19:23.000 They're ridiculous for using that name.
00:19:24.000 It's German for Porsche double clutch.
00:19:27.000 Doppel-clonger.
00:19:28.000 Yeah, something like that.
00:19:29.000 So they call it PDK. And it's a double clutch, is what it is.
00:19:33.000 It's a clutch with a K. It's a kooky clutch.
00:19:35.000 It does everything for you perfectly every time.
00:19:37.000 Well, I actually own one PDK car, and it was the first launch car.
00:19:43.000 It came out in 08, and they even screwed up that.
00:19:45.000 What they did is they had these buttons.
00:19:47.000 I don't know if you've driven these PDK cars, right?
00:19:49.000 They have these buttons right where you put your palms on the wheel, right?
00:19:52.000 So you would be, say, in fourth gear, and you're coming into a turn, you want to bump it down to third.
00:19:59.000 And go into second, so you go into third, and then as you're turning, your palm would bump that stupid button, and instead of being in fourth, sorry, instead of being in second, you'd be in fourth.
00:20:09.000 Without getting into specifics, you're just saying the gear changes around the steering wheel, which is stupid.
00:20:12.000 Yeah, which is stupid.
00:20:13.000 Instead of on the paddles, like a traditional race car.
00:20:15.000 Yeah, it's a dumb move.
00:20:17.000 They stuck with that shit like glue, too.
00:20:19.000 Porsches are very fucking determined.
00:20:21.000 Do you know how to get proper paddles now?
00:20:24.000 There's a scam.
00:20:26.000 Standard is those dumb buttons on the wheel.
00:20:28.000 You gotta spend 500 bucks on the sport steering wheel to get...
00:20:32.000 Can they retrofit that?
00:20:33.000 Can you buy like one?
00:20:34.000 Yeah, we do it.
00:20:35.000 Yes.
00:20:35.000 Okay, well that's a nice thing to know because those buttons are jackass.
00:20:39.000 It's bullshit.
00:20:40.000 Stupid dog shit design.
00:20:41.000 You know how else they screw you guys in America?
00:20:44.000 Well, me too now.
00:20:45.000 Fuck yeah.
00:20:45.000 Yeah, that's right.
00:20:46.000 You know what they do?
00:20:47.000 They take the ability to have any of your radio controls, all these other buttons that you have on the steering wheel.
00:20:52.000 If you take the paddle shifter one, they assume that you're having to concentrate so much that you're not allowed to have any of those buttons.
00:20:58.000 Right.
00:20:58.000 So you can't answer your phone.
00:20:59.000 I like that, though.
00:21:00.000 That is kind of cool.
00:21:01.000 Steering wheel buttons fucking suck.
00:21:02.000 I'm not a fan of steering wheel buttons.
00:21:04.000 In a Porsche, I agree.
00:21:05.000 I don't like them in any cars.
00:21:06.000 But you have them in your...
00:21:08.000 I have them on the BMW. And the Cayenne, right?
00:21:10.000 Yeah, it's got buttons everywhere.
00:21:11.000 I tested a car last year.
00:21:13.000 I think it had 18 buttons on the fucking steering wheel.
00:21:15.000 It's ridiculous.
00:21:16.000 Too many buttons.
00:21:18.000 How many of the buttons have you pushed in your Cayenne?
00:21:19.000 I'm not a button pusher, man.
00:21:21.000 I'm not into that shit.
00:21:23.000 I think there's a certain part of me that really does like to look in an old, like a 69 Mustang interior and appreciate the simplicity.
00:21:32.000 Sparsity.
00:21:33.000 Yeah.
00:21:33.000 I appreciate, like, remember when Chris Harris built that 911?
00:21:38.000 Real simple green 911. Rally car, yeah.
00:21:41.000 Yeah, beautiful, beautiful car.
00:21:42.000 I loved that car.
00:21:43.000 And I loved how simple he made everything.
00:21:46.000 The interior just had an old retro stereo, a modern stereo that looks...
00:21:51.000 No, no, no.
00:21:51.000 It was a Mexico Hi-Fi.
00:21:53.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:21:54.000 Yeah, it was one of those...
00:21:55.000 They stick them in every vintage car.
00:21:57.000 Retro, yeah, yeah.
00:21:58.000 But you can have, like, navigation on those things.
00:22:00.000 It's basically an amp for an iPhone.
00:22:02.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:22:03.000 More or less.
00:22:03.000 Essentially.
00:22:04.000 Yeah.
00:22:04.000 But I think it does nav, too.
00:22:05.000 I don't know how.
00:22:06.000 But you can get that kind of simplicity.
00:22:07.000 You don't have to go that old.
00:22:09.000 You can get anything up to, like...
00:22:11.000 Early 90s almost.
00:22:12.000 You can have that same, you know, an 89 Porsche is fucking simple.
00:22:18.000 But it doesn't feel, you don't feel like you're driving an antique.
00:22:23.000 You know what I mean?
00:22:24.000 You can still, like, you drive something from the 70s and you don't want to, like, huck it into a corner because you're like, If this goes wrong, I'm dead, you know?
00:22:32.000 But late 80s, you can kind of drive it harder and not be kind of...
00:22:36.000 That's when they started to figure it out, right?
00:22:39.000 With Porsche, it was like the 964, they started to figure out the handling, really, right?
00:22:42.000 The one before that.
00:22:43.000 Yeah, the suspension was way improved on the 964s, but even in that sense, I mean, Honda and Acura, I mean, the NSX blew away the 964. It blew away the Ferrari, blew away Porsche.
00:22:56.000 Yeah, I remember the first time I ever saw an Acura NSX, I was in Boston and some dude drove by with a red one and everybody's jaw dropped.
00:23:03.000 They're like, oh my god, we're in the future.
00:23:04.000 In 89, that was a fucking the future.
00:23:06.000 It was 89, too.
00:23:07.000 Yeah, it was.
00:23:08.000 It was incredible.
00:23:09.000 This guy pulled into Kenmore Square in this fucking red spaceship.
00:23:14.000 Oh my goodness.
00:23:15.000 Everybody knew it was aluminum.
00:23:16.000 It's aluminum.
00:23:17.000 All the cars are aluminum.
00:23:19.000 It's crazy.
00:23:20.000 Now the F-150 is aluminum.
00:23:22.000 I was repeating shit that I didn't understand.
00:23:24.000 There's baffles in the fuel line.
00:23:26.000 I don't even know what the fuck that meant.
00:23:27.000 And the rods.
00:23:29.000 The rods are titanium.
00:23:30.000 Fuel lines, man.
00:23:31.000 It's a 2.8 liter.
00:23:33.000 No, the rod's a titanium.
00:23:34.000 That's really important.
00:23:35.000 Well, you know what that was amazing about that car, the Acura NSX, was that it was a fucking Honda.
00:23:40.000 And that shit was bulletproof.
00:23:42.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:23:42.000 You still see them around with hundreds of thousands of miles.
00:23:45.000 Oh, that's why I went back to one after the Porsche fucked me so hard.
00:23:49.000 That 996 was so bad.
00:23:51.000 By the way, this is, again, where people who are angry at white guys talk about things they own.
00:23:56.000 This is when they're tuning off the podcast.
00:23:59.000 So we...
00:24:00.000 Killed off all the people who aren't car nuts.
00:24:02.000 We killed off all the people who don't like white people talking about buying shit.
00:24:05.000 Ladies.
00:24:06.000 Ladies next.
00:24:08.000 Ladies are next.
00:24:08.000 Who does that leave?
00:24:09.000 No one.
00:24:10.000 There's no one.
00:24:10.000 Just us.
00:24:10.000 It leaves no one?
00:24:11.000 It was just an echo chamber, goddammit.
00:24:13.000 But those NSXs, the cool thing about them was you knew that they were never going to fuck you.
00:24:18.000 Never.
00:24:19.000 Those things were...
00:24:20.000 I never had a single...
00:24:21.000 I had two NSXs.
00:24:23.000 I never had a single problem.
00:24:23.000 Yeah, you just change the oil, check the tires.
00:24:26.000 And I drove them.
00:24:27.000 Yeah, all the way to eight grand.
00:24:28.000 And they handle beautifully.
00:24:29.000 I don't know anyone that has one that has less than 100,000 miles on it.
00:24:33.000 They're so great.
00:24:34.000 I still have mine.
00:24:35.000 Oh yeah, Alex has one.
00:24:36.000 Yep, I still have my 91 NSX. Well, they're gonna fuck that car up too.
00:24:40.000 They're coming out with this crazy spaceship hybrid with fucking dual clutch transmission.
00:24:45.000 They're fucking up the whole thing.
00:24:46.000 The simplicity of the original car.
00:24:48.000 Just make it fucking light and call it a day.
00:24:49.000 Well, what if...
00:24:50.000 Here's the thought.
00:24:51.000 What if Porsche or someone said, you know what?
00:24:54.000 Let's put out a minimalist car.
00:24:56.000 Fuck all this nonsense.
00:24:58.000 Let's put out a car that has no electronics at all except for the speedometer, the fuel.
00:25:03.000 1973 type shit.
00:25:04.000 Where you look at those old classic gauges.
00:25:07.000 Yeah.
00:25:07.000 You get limited information, bitch.
00:25:08.000 Let's assume everything's working.
00:25:10.000 Get on the fucking road and concentrate on driving.
00:25:12.000 Well, they had that.
00:25:13.000 They had that with the 914, right?
00:25:15.000 And they were...
00:25:16.000 That's a dogshit car.
00:25:18.000 40 years ago.
00:25:19.000 That car's dogshit.
00:25:22.000 Ugly as fuck.
00:25:23.000 It's a terrible idea.
00:25:25.000 It's a shitbox.
00:25:25.000 It's good to put giant slicks on and Chevy engines in and piss off people who care.
00:25:31.000 I know, but it's light.
00:25:33.000 It's light.
00:25:34.000 I understand it's light, but it's a dogshit car.
00:25:37.000 If they had done that with a 993 with a simple leather interior, you know, like no bullshit, no electronic.
00:25:43.000 Back in the day, we had the RS America, which was stripped out, right?
00:25:47.000 That was dogshit compared to the European ones.
00:25:49.000 It was the RS America and the 964. Oh my god, we're into geekdom, ladies and gentlemen.
00:25:53.000 The 964 is the car before the 993, so we're talking about late 80s.
00:25:57.000 They still all look like 911s, that same shape.
00:26:00.000 In Europe, we get all the fun stuff.
00:26:02.000 We get plastic windows, we get roll bars, door pulls.
00:26:08.000 Yeah, but you also have to pay like $11 a gallon for fucking gas.
00:26:11.000 I just drove across Europe.
00:26:13.000 In US dollars, it was $10.50 a gallon.
00:26:16.000 Well, you know, it's so weird how Porsche is so genius.
00:26:18.000 I mean, their work is so genius.
00:26:20.000 The cars they produce are so fucking masterful.
00:26:23.000 Just amazing pieces of engineering.
00:26:25.000 They'll stick with these dopey-ass ideas like a pit bull, like the dumb buttons on the fucking wheel that they can't for ever.
00:26:33.000 Well, they have their pride, man.
00:26:34.000 Yeah, and how about the fact that they have these two incredible cars, the Cayman and the Boxster, and they fuck them by giving them low horsepower because if they jumped them up to where the Porsche 911 is, you'd have a way better car than the 911, and they've got a real fucking problem.
00:26:49.000 Alex, how come you haven't stuck a GT3 motor in a Cayman yet?
00:26:52.000 That's what I'm saying!
00:26:54.000 It's the best car ever.
00:26:55.000 I drove one once.
00:26:56.000 It was the best car ever.
00:26:58.000 Kamen is?
00:26:58.000 With a GT3 engine.
00:26:59.000 Who has one?
00:27:00.000 A guy in New York.
00:27:01.000 I had one.
00:27:01.000 Who did that?
00:27:03.000 A company called Farnbacher Lowels did it.
00:27:06.000 Yeah, you don't want to Google that name right now.
00:27:08.000 Yeah, their ex-owner, Greg Lowels, just got sentenced to...
00:27:14.000 Was it a dude?
00:27:14.000 Probably to death.
00:27:15.000 Was it 10?
00:27:16.000 Because he robbed a church.
00:27:17.000 Yeah, 10 years he got.
00:27:19.000 He robbed a church.
00:27:20.000 He embezzled every fucking dime in that place.
00:27:23.000 Why does it have to be him?
00:27:25.000 He could be our saver.
00:27:26.000 He could be our Obi-Wan.
00:27:28.000 His head tech who actually built that car has his own shop in New York now.
00:27:31.000 Wow.
00:27:32.000 His head tech.
00:27:33.000 Holla at me, dude.
00:27:33.000 Let's make something real.
00:27:34.000 Look it up.
00:27:35.000 Let's make something real.
00:27:36.000 I think that would be the most ridiculous car ever.
00:27:38.000 It would.
00:27:38.000 A Cayman with a GT3 engine in it?
00:27:40.000 What would that weigh?
00:27:41.000 It wouldn't even weigh 3,000 pounds.
00:27:42.000 It would be 3,100 probably.
00:27:44.000 How about if you fucking...
00:27:45.000 You'd still need to do a lot of work on the rear, the suspension.
00:27:48.000 You know, like you said, Porsche likes the hamstring, the Cayman.
00:27:50.000 They hamstring it with, like, crappy struts.
00:27:52.000 Even the new ones?
00:27:52.000 I thought the new ones, they made it a lot better.
00:27:54.000 They really, really want to defend the 911. Think about how crazy that is.
00:27:59.000 You have this incredible design, beautiful car, and you fuck it in the butt.
00:28:03.000 Just so that you can keep your old car viable.
00:28:06.000 BMW does it too, buddy.
00:28:08.000 Do they?
00:28:08.000 With which car?
00:28:09.000 The 1 Series M. That car has all of the M3 suspension shit, but in a tinier car.
00:28:17.000 And it was faster than the M3. So it can out-handle the M3. It's cheaper than the M3. And it has an engine that if you just do-do-do-do on the computer could be faster than an M3 also.
00:28:27.000 But they dial it back.
00:28:29.000 So I just drove this Dinan one.
00:28:30.000 The Dinan one M. Oh, that's right.
00:28:32.000 Because Dinan doesn't give a fuck about the M3. I like how you said that, too.
00:28:36.000 He don't give a fuck about the M3, dude.
00:28:39.000 I don't give a fuck.
00:28:39.000 Steve Dinan don't give a fuck.
00:28:41.000 Not a single fuck.
00:28:43.000 Or her daddy.
00:28:44.000 Or that bitch's mama.
00:28:45.000 Not a single fuck was given on that day.
00:28:48.000 And so his shit has 450 horsepower in whole fucking ass.
00:28:52.000 Now is that- that's available, like right now you can go buy one.
00:28:54.000 You can get that from Dinan, yeah.
00:28:55.000 How is the gear shifting on that?
00:28:57.000 It's manual.
00:28:58.000 Double clutch?
00:28:59.000 It's manual.
00:28:59.000 They make it in manual.
00:29:00.000 See, here's the thing with that car, because the reason- you said you didn't like the new 911 Turbo because it doesn't come in manual.
00:29:06.000 I see your point.
00:29:07.000 However, cars like the new 911 Turbo and this Dinan thing are so fucking fast that- If you have to shift it yourself, it's actually hard to keep up.
00:29:18.000 Is it faster, you think, than the GT3 RS that he made?
00:29:23.000 No, but the GT3 RS that he made has longer gearing.
00:29:27.000 That's it?
00:29:27.000 That's the 1M? That's what they're putting together?
00:29:30.000 Yeah, there it is!
00:29:31.000 Holy shit, that looks awesome!
00:29:33.000 Matter of fact, is that our picture?
00:29:35.000 That is a delicious looking car.
00:29:38.000 Isn't that tasty?
00:29:38.000 I bet that's cheap as fuck too, right?
00:29:40.000 You could pick up the car right now for about $55,000 and then $20,000 more for the kit.
00:29:45.000 They held their value pretty well.
00:29:47.000 I thought it was lower than that.
00:29:47.000 For some reason I thought that was like their entry level $35,000 car.
00:29:52.000 It's the top of the bottoms.
00:29:53.000 Oh, I see.
00:29:54.000 So they make an M. What is the normal M that comes from BMW? 330 horsepower.
00:30:00.000 That's still pretty fucking fun.
00:30:02.000 Yeah, you can tune all the turbo cars, you know, the hairdryers.
00:30:05.000 You can tune them, do some computer work, and you can add more boost.
00:30:08.000 So the 330, is that a naturally aspirated?
00:30:10.000 Twin turbo 6. Oh, really?
00:30:12.000 Yeah, that's why the other ones are so fast, because they just boost the hell out of them.
00:30:15.000 Wow.
00:30:16.000 That must be an...
00:30:17.000 Enormously fun car to drive.
00:30:18.000 It's crazy.
00:30:20.000 It's stupid, stupid, stupid fast.
00:30:22.000 I told you earlier, I tried to keep on a photo shoot with a 3.8 RS, a 4.0 RS, and an R4.1.
00:30:29.000 I was following in a 1M, the journalist that was doing the story.
00:30:32.000 He owns one.
00:30:34.000 Just trying to keep up, the car was going...
00:30:36.000 All over the road, sideways.
00:30:38.000 And, you know, I basically got all four tires bald at the end of the day.
00:30:42.000 Is it really that badass of a fucking car?
00:30:44.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:30:46.000 There's very few cars.
00:30:47.000 It's like an American muscle car, but a European version of it, right?
00:30:50.000 Well, I'm looking for, bitch.
00:30:51.000 Because we make everything smaller there.
00:30:53.000 I don't know.
00:30:54.000 I don't know about that.
00:30:55.000 Not an American muscle car.
00:30:56.000 No, AMGs are like German muscle cars.
00:30:59.000 Yeah.
00:30:59.000 But this thing, it's...
00:31:02.000 It's pretty nuts.
00:31:03.000 I didn't even see this.
00:31:04.000 It's pretty nuts.
00:31:05.000 I love the idea.
00:31:05.000 I mean, it's not a fucking Porsche, but it's small and really fast and has, you know, handled nicely and stuff.
00:31:13.000 It kind of looks like an Accordion 3 series, right?
00:31:16.000 It's kind of like squished.
00:31:17.000 A little bit, yeah.
00:31:17.000 But they sold only a limited number of them here in the U.S., and they immediately started going up in value.
00:31:23.000 It's like a stubby M3, you know?
00:31:25.000 So now they're like five to eight grand over MSRP two years.
00:31:29.000 Well, I think it shows this fucking trend that's going on where people, this minimalist trend, where people are looking at all this shit on their computer.
00:31:36.000 I have a buddy who has a Tesla.
00:31:38.000 Yeah.
00:31:39.000 You know, you don't have any buttons.
00:31:40.000 You just talk to that fucking thing.
00:31:42.000 You tell it what the climate you want.
00:31:44.000 You tell it where to go.
00:31:45.000 He, like, used it as a Google search.
00:31:47.000 It has its own 3G engine.
00:31:49.000 3G, though, which is whack.
00:31:50.000 Yeah.
00:31:51.000 Are they not on 4G yet?
00:31:52.000 Oh, Matt found it on fucking 3G. Like cave people.
00:31:58.000 No LTE in that?
00:31:59.000 So, like, he can be in the car and go, the black keys.
00:32:02.000 And then, it's Spotify.
00:32:04.000 It pulls up the black keys.
00:32:06.000 And the play number one, boom, starts playing a song.
00:32:09.000 I'm, like, talking to my fucking car.
00:32:10.000 Yeah, I don't need to be talking to my fucking car.
00:32:12.000 I'm the fucking Michael Knight or something, right?
00:32:14.000 Well, that's one of the things that I really love about the M3 is it has that little dial where you have buttons around the dial.
00:32:20.000 One's your phone, one's your nav, and it's super easy to get to.
00:32:23.000 Hot buttons.
00:32:23.000 Hot buttons are key.
00:32:24.000 It's a much better system than the Porsche.
00:32:27.000 The Porsche, you know, has everything set in perfect position for driving, without a doubt.
00:32:33.000 Yeah, they don't want any...
00:32:34.000 But all that other ergonomics and shit's over there.
00:32:37.000 They didn't even give you cup holders until, like, 98 in the fucking 90s.
00:32:41.000 Well, they hide them behind, like, a carbon fiber piece now, you know?
00:32:44.000 It's actually nice of them.
00:32:45.000 I like that.
00:32:45.000 I like that, too.
00:32:46.000 It's cool.
00:32:47.000 BMW has it, too.
00:32:48.000 You just press a button and it pops out.
00:32:49.000 Your car is a good cup holder, Angelo.
00:32:51.000 I put my coffee in it this morning, and then I was doing a pretty good clip up Angela's Crest, and the coffee...
00:32:57.000 See, my Corvette has the worst cup holders known to man.
00:33:00.000 I call it the G-meter, because when you turn left, your beverage goes right, and it just goes all over your fucking floor.
00:33:07.000 Your Corvette is an awesome piece of machinery, too.
00:33:09.000 It is pretty cool.
00:33:09.000 You have a Corvette that you bought when you graduated high school, right?
00:33:12.000 Yeah.
00:33:12.000 And you still have it, and you still drive it all the time.
00:33:15.000 I hit 30,000 miles two weeks ago.
00:33:17.000 So 130?
00:33:19.000 No, no, 30. Just 30?
00:33:20.000 30. 30 ever.
00:33:21.000 That's the C5, right?
00:33:22.000 Yeah, it's a 98. Yep.
00:33:23.000 You just hit 30,000 miles?
00:33:25.000 How is that possible?
00:33:26.000 We always...
00:33:27.000 Literally, there's always, like, shit in our house to drive.
00:33:31.000 I just, like...
00:33:32.000 Oh, I see.
00:33:32.000 It's never been a first car.
00:33:34.000 It's always kind of...
00:33:35.000 But that's amazing.
00:33:36.000 You bought this fucking car in the 1980s.
00:33:38.000 You might have, like, one of the best 1980s Corvettes on the market.
00:33:42.000 It's a 98, not an 80. Yeah, it's a 98. But yeah, it's probably up there at this point.
00:33:48.000 So what year did you buy?
00:33:49.000 Did you buy it new in 98?
00:33:50.000 New in 98. And all the stuff that you had done to it, like the roll bar and the engine modifications?
00:33:54.000 It was stock for, like...
00:33:56.000 Eight years and that was all done in 06 and I haven't done shit since.
00:34:00.000 Wow.
00:34:00.000 It's a great car.
00:34:01.000 It's a fun car.
00:34:01.000 Corvettes are awesome because they just, they fucking work.
00:34:04.000 Yeah.
00:34:05.000 You know what I mean?
00:34:05.000 The interior is made of shitty plastic, like yeah, and when you close the door it sounds like Legos are rattling around in there, you know.
00:34:12.000 It's not a 911, but it's got really good balance and really good power, and it just works all the time.
00:34:19.000 It's a lot like a fanny pack.
00:34:20.000 You can't give a fuck what you look like.
00:34:22.000 You just gotta accept how awesome it is to you.
00:34:25.000 It's awesome to me.
00:34:27.000 I don't give a fuck what you see.
00:34:28.000 There's your car right there.
00:34:30.000 Hey, that is my car.
00:34:31.000 Oh, look, with my fucking bipolar psycho ex-girlfriend in the passenger seat.
00:34:36.000 Shazam!
00:34:36.000 Boom.
00:34:37.000 Don't give out any information.
00:34:38.000 Ditch the chick, kept the car.
00:34:40.000 Good move.
00:34:41.000 Always a good move.
00:34:43.000 Cars will rarely tell you what to do.
00:34:45.000 They'll fucking hit you.
00:34:46.000 Sometimes they're like, I need some gas.
00:34:49.000 But that's about it.
00:34:50.000 Corvettes have gone a lot, lot better, man.
00:34:53.000 They're good.
00:34:53.000 They're the fanny pack of the automotive world.
00:34:55.000 They're good platforms to start your build.
00:34:58.000 You start from a Corvette, take everything the GM cheaped out on, which is a lot, and then make that better, and then you've got a really good car.
00:35:05.000 Yeah, I like the ZR1 the best, like some of my customers have them.
00:35:09.000 Well, better than that, even.
00:35:09.000 No, no, you know what it is?
00:35:10.000 You sit in the car, and you're like, this is a ZR1, and it has a Chevy Cobalt steering wheel.
00:35:15.000 Yeah.
00:35:15.000 They've fixed that.
00:35:17.000 But better than that.
00:35:18.000 Was that one that you drove?
00:35:20.000 The race car company, what is it?
00:35:23.000 Oh, the AVI Racing, the tube frame?
00:35:25.000 No, the guys who make their own body, it's a bit wider, all carbon fiber.
00:35:30.000 Oh, the Pratt& Miller C6RS thing, yeah.
00:35:32.000 Yeah, which is a crazy idea, but sort of a Shark Works situation.
00:35:37.000 Actually, it's pretty close, yeah.
00:35:39.000 They took a great car, the ZR1, and they said, you know what, here's what we're going to do.
00:35:44.000 We're going to go with a naturally aspirated engine.
00:35:46.000 We're going to make that bitch about 600 motherfucking horsepower.
00:35:48.000 Was it 8 liters?
00:35:49.000 More like a demon.
00:35:50.000 I think that was an 8-liter KJK. Pull it up.
00:35:52.000 Pull it up, Jamie.
00:35:53.000 What is the name of the video?
00:35:54.000 Pratt Miller C6RS. Is it Smoky Tire?
00:36:00.000 Yeah, it's on the Smoky Tire.
00:36:01.000 I think it's fucking 8-liter V8. It's a gorgeous car.
00:36:04.000 It's a gorgeous, gorgeous car.
00:36:05.000 And it's super-duper fucking expensive, too, right?
00:36:09.000 Yeah, I think it was 200. Oh my god, look how thin I was there.
00:36:13.000 Sexy bitch, look at you.
00:36:13.000 I was so fucking thin there.
00:36:16.000 How old were you, Matt?
00:36:18.000 This is like five years ago.
00:36:19.000 You can still get there, dude.
00:36:20.000 You're breathing.
00:36:20.000 Okay, you're still alive.
00:36:21.000 Let's not give up out of the game.
00:36:22.000 Don't tap out before it's too late.
00:36:24.000 No, so this thing, yeah, it's all carbon fiber body.
00:36:28.000 It's like eight inches wider than a regular Corvette.
00:36:32.000 The noise.
00:36:33.000 Yeah.
00:36:34.000 Oh, the noise.
00:36:36.000 So Pratt& Miller basically is the company that builds GM's factory race cars.
00:36:42.000 And so they built sort of a street homologation kind of special of the race car.
00:36:48.000 And what they did was they made a new body that was like a really high quality carbon fiber and a super high quality leather interior, which is something that these cars were really missing.
00:36:59.000 Yeah, they lacked that stuff.
00:36:59.000 It's hilarious though.
00:37:00.000 I haven't looked at this video in a while.
00:37:01.000 Looking at it now, it's fucking so silly to think that that was a $200,000 car though.
00:37:07.000 Is that what it was?
00:37:08.000 $200,000?
00:37:08.000 8.2 liters, yeah.
00:37:10.000 Dude, if I had $200,000 burning a hole in my pocket, I might go right to that.
00:37:15.000 Dude, why not $400?
00:37:16.000 They built seven of these.
00:37:18.000 A friend of mine has sold four of them.
00:37:20.000 But that's a mean, mean car, man.
00:37:23.000 It's so beautiful.
00:37:24.000 Yeah.
00:37:24.000 That's like a perfect American muscle car.
00:37:26.000 It's still got that dog shit steering wheel.
00:37:28.000 There's your cobalt steering wheel.
00:37:29.000 Colored with leather, though.
00:37:31.000 That was leather and stitched.
00:37:33.000 I don't know, like a steering wheel is like a mouse, you know, like for a computer.
00:37:36.000 Why have you a shitty steering wheel?
00:37:37.000 Why have a shitty mouse?
00:37:38.000 I want a good mouse.
00:37:39.000 It's really surprising how many people complain about something like a steering wheel and people go, what do you give a fuck, bro?
00:37:45.000 And it's like, my hands are literally on this the entire time I own this car.
00:37:49.000 Also, it gives you information about a car, like those Magnus Walker Porsches with the Momo Prototipo steering wheels.
00:37:59.000 There's something about those old-school steering wheels, like you hold it on to them, and you're actually driving a car.
00:38:04.000 Well, they don't have any filters, right?
00:38:05.000 There's no filters.
00:38:06.000 No filter.
00:38:06.000 It's just straight there.
00:38:07.000 Leather, metal, you're holding on to this thing.
00:38:10.000 But it's also like, you're looking down at that thing, and it gives you like, yeah, this is a fucking 1972 RS, whatever the hell he calls those things.
00:38:17.000 The best, you get like a 59 Caddy with the fucking wheel that's like a steamship wheel, you know what I mean?
00:38:23.000 You're like, tacking!
00:38:25.000 Well, those were boats.
00:38:27.000 Isn't it interesting that they basically had nautical steering wheels and they were fucking boats?
00:38:31.000 Should have had a fucking tiller then, huh?
00:38:33.000 They were ridiculous.
00:38:35.000 And that was just a few decades ago.
00:38:38.000 A few decades ago.
00:38:38.000 How fucking cool were we in the late 50s?
00:38:41.000 Remember when America was fucking cool?
00:38:43.000 We weren't like the shitbags of the fucking world.
00:38:45.000 You know what I mean?
00:38:46.000 Everyone didn't hate us.
00:38:47.000 They wanted our shit and not just like...
00:38:50.000 Nah, you guys hate yourselves.
00:38:52.000 We should.
00:38:54.000 We're horrible.
00:38:55.000 He's got a lot of weird misconceptions about America.
00:38:57.000 Have you noticed that?
00:38:58.000 Not to gang up on him.
00:39:00.000 You and me on Team America here.
00:39:02.000 This fucking wacky Brit's got some crazy ideas about us.
00:39:06.000 Okay, I found out you guys can play pool.
00:39:08.000 I found out you guys can drive.
00:39:10.000 But listen, man.
00:39:11.000 No, you can drive, dude.
00:39:12.000 Just so everyone knows.
00:39:12.000 You can play pool, too.
00:39:13.000 You just got to pay attention to where that ball's going.
00:39:16.000 I get trying to give you some pointers.
00:39:18.000 Dude told me he plays good pool.
00:39:20.000 And a guy tells you he plays good.
00:39:21.000 He played really good pool.
00:39:22.000 He told me he played really good.
00:39:23.000 I go, how good do you play?
00:39:24.000 He goes, I can play really good.
00:39:27.000 I said I used to play well.
00:39:30.000 I don't recall that.
00:39:33.000 I don't recall you saying you play really good.
00:39:35.000 I said I did play well.
00:39:36.000 Sorry, that's what I said.
00:39:37.000 Yeah, I did play.
00:39:38.000 So it was past tense, but I was thinking I was going to be better when we started playing.
00:39:42.000 Analysis of this statement.
00:39:43.000 I just knocked a couple balls around the table and he's making all these judgments about me.
00:39:46.000 Well, because you were holding it like an American.
00:39:47.000 You were holding the cue like, well, we play snooker.
00:39:50.000 Remember when it was, first it was best of five and then it became 5-0.
00:39:53.000 No, Hey, hey.
00:39:54.000 Come on.
00:39:55.000 In all fairness, the last game, there was only one little ball left.
00:39:58.000 It didn't matter.
00:39:59.000 You were never going to get that ball in.
00:40:00.000 I was going to get the ball.
00:40:01.000 The last game, there was one ball in.
00:40:03.000 I just lost a little ball.
00:40:05.000 That ball was never going in.
00:40:06.000 It was going.
00:40:07.000 It was going.
00:40:08.000 I just didn't get to it.
00:40:09.000 Even if you got to it, the idea of you getting to it and then getting to the eight ball is beyond preposterous.
00:40:14.000 I know, dude.
00:40:15.000 They weren't anywhere near each other.
00:40:16.000 I was in no danger.
00:40:18.000 I told you, man.
00:40:19.000 I was just waiting.
00:40:20.000 The tightness of the pocket.
00:40:21.000 You guys have weird, like, super tight pockets in the U.S. We don't play that way.
00:40:24.000 Well, this is table, really.
00:40:25.000 This is way tighter than a regular table.
00:40:27.000 A regular table has a 5-inch pocket that's a 4-inch pocket.
00:40:30.000 And Ernesto Dominguez, who's a big player in LA, like pro player, and he's also a great table mechanic.
00:40:37.000 And him and his son, Oscar, who's another pro player, they put together these, like, an Ernesto cut table, like a big deal.
00:40:44.000 He's the master when it comes to putting together those Brunswick.
00:40:47.000 So this guy, Donnie Wessels, sold it to me.
00:40:50.000 It's a 1972, 1973 table.
00:40:52.000 It's very mod.
00:40:53.000 Yeah, it's really cool.
00:40:54.000 My first shot, I don't know if you can remember that, because it was a while ago, but my first shot.
00:40:57.000 Oh, I remember it so well.
00:40:58.000 Dude, I hit it hard.
00:41:00.000 You say, why'd you hit it so hard, right?
00:41:01.000 And on a normal table, it had gone in, right?
00:41:03.000 And instead it just went and, you know, did that little pinball thing.
00:41:06.000 Yes.
00:41:06.000 Can we talk about anything else?
00:41:08.000 That doesn't matter.
00:41:09.000 That's the thing.
00:41:10.000 The ball going in or not does not matter to Americans.
00:41:12.000 Okay, so Americans can play pool.
00:41:13.000 What Americans are getting right now is like a peek into your madness.
00:41:17.000 The same madness that led you to be this master engineer and improver of Porsches leads you to be a crazy person if you fucking miss a shot on a pool table.
00:41:26.000 You're talking about a goddamn podcast two hours later.
00:41:28.000 Well, the reason why that one didn't go in is because I'm not American!
00:41:34.000 The sun was in the wrong place on the horizon and I had Vaseline on my fingernails.
00:41:42.000 You're the best American pool player that I've played against.
00:41:46.000 Well, then you ain't playing against shit because I'm fucking terrible compared to like a real good pool player.
00:41:51.000 So you can't go running around...
00:41:53.000 It's home field advantage.
00:41:53.000 No, you can't...
00:41:54.000 Please.
00:41:55.000 You can't go running around telling people you're good at pool.
00:41:58.000 I wouldn't, but I was doing this thing where, you know, like, man, Americans always say they're good at stuff, right?
00:42:03.000 And then I was just testing you a little...
00:42:05.000 You gotta D-bag your M5 for me.
00:42:07.000 I don't understand why anybody would say Americans always do this and British people always do...
00:42:12.000 Every British person I met has been at least partially unique and individual in their own personality traits, the way they behave.
00:42:19.000 So when someone starts saying, every American does this, I go, that is a poorly thought out idea, my friend.
00:42:25.000 I thought, well, I wanted to see if it was furniture or the real deal, and I found out it was the real deal.
00:42:29.000 Furniture or the real deal?
00:42:30.000 I found out it was the real deal.
00:42:32.000 Four inch pockets, bro!
00:42:33.000 Yeah, bro.
00:42:34.000 Four inch pockets, bro.
00:42:35.000 Well, yeah.
00:42:36.000 I just met my first actually, like, dumb English person.
00:42:41.000 We were just in the UK. No, I've never...
00:42:44.000 Dude, our education system is pretty good.
00:42:47.000 I don't spend a ton of time in the UK, but the English accent makes you sound smarter than you are, even if you're not that smart.
00:42:53.000 We were just in the UK, and a waiter...
00:42:56.000 We had trouble counting the number of people at our table.
00:42:59.000 There were five.
00:43:00.000 Oh my god.
00:43:01.000 That's a tough one.
00:43:02.000 That's a tough one.
00:43:03.000 And despite the accent, I was like, huh, you're fucking stupid, aren't you?
00:43:07.000 What part of the UK was that?
00:43:09.000 Take it from the top.
00:43:09.000 Where were we?
00:43:10.000 One.
00:43:10.000 We've got one.
00:43:11.000 Woking.
00:43:11.000 Was it Woking?
00:43:12.000 Two.
00:43:12.000 There's this place called London.
00:43:14.000 It was where they built McLaren's.
00:43:15.000 Yeah, okay.
00:43:18.000 Maybe they worked them too much and the guy was tired.
00:43:20.000 He left it all on the field.
00:43:22.000 You know how you get so tired you can't even remember your own name?
00:43:24.000 What's your name, sir?
00:43:26.000 Uh...
00:43:27.000 Matt Ferrer.
00:43:29.000 If you're in England, it's Clive.
00:43:31.000 You can't remember how to count to five.
00:43:34.000 Head trauma.
00:43:35.000 Could have been a boxer when he was young.
00:43:37.000 Could be catching up to him.
00:43:38.000 You've explained this particular Englishman's stupidity, possibly.
00:43:41.000 Just trying to give him the outs.
00:43:44.000 All the outs he deserves.
00:43:46.000 Hands up.
00:43:47.000 You can play full deep.
00:43:48.000 The benefit of...
00:43:49.000 He's still going back and going to the bucket hole!
00:43:52.000 Holy shit!
00:43:53.000 Alex Ross and we don't mix together so smoothly.
00:43:55.000 This is something we found out today.
00:43:57.000 Some people, you give it to them and it releases something inside of them that they should keep in.
00:44:02.000 They should keep it collected and tucked away.
00:44:04.000 Dan Marino should die of gonorrhea.
00:44:07.000 That's a badass car, though, you make, sir.
00:44:09.000 You make a fucking...
00:44:09.000 There's a photo of it right there.
00:44:11.000 No more photos there, fella.
00:44:13.000 So, you've been in this car making business for, like, how long now?
00:44:18.000 Since basically 05. 05. And before that, I thought this was hilarious, you used to be in the video game world and you were actually on Screensavers.
00:44:28.000 Yeah, I was.
00:44:29.000 I had segments on there.
00:44:30.000 I used to love that show.
00:44:32.000 That show was great.
00:44:32.000 Leo Laporte.
00:44:33.000 Leo Laporte and Pat Norton.
00:44:35.000 Yeah.
00:44:35.000 It was a great show.
00:44:36.000 I used to love that show.
00:44:37.000 I was a total uber geek.
00:44:38.000 I used to build my own PCs.
00:44:40.000 That was the show of the first Hot Nerds too, right?
00:44:43.000 They had those Hot Nerd girls.
00:44:43.000 Oh yeah, they did.
00:44:44.000 They all went on to do...
00:44:45.000 How long ago was this?
00:44:46.000 Am I too young?
00:44:47.000 Yeah, you weren't born yet.
00:44:48.000 It was probably like the early 2000s, right?
00:44:51.000 Late 90s, early 2000s.
00:44:52.000 Late 90s?
00:44:53.000 Yeah.
00:44:53.000 It was on TV. Yeah, it was on real TV. Tech show on TV. It was the only one of its kind.
00:44:58.000 It was kind of like the top gear of PC stuff.
00:45:03.000 You almost said without the buffoonery.
00:45:04.000 That's what you were going to say.
00:45:04.000 You were going to shit all over Jeremy Clarkson right here on this podcast.
00:45:07.000 Your fellow Englishman.
00:45:09.000 I know what you're doing.
00:45:10.000 You're about to go down.
00:45:11.000 He doesn't like Porsches and he just says it all the time.
00:45:13.000 So it's hard to see eye-eye with it.
00:45:14.000 But he's a character.
00:45:15.000 Don't you think he's at least partially a character?
00:45:17.000 He drove a 911 Turbo and compared it to the 4.5, not the 4.5.8, the 4.30, remember?
00:45:23.000 And he loved it.
00:45:24.000 He was ranting and raving about how fantastic it is.
00:45:27.000 He smoked the 4.30, if I remember properly.
00:45:29.000 But he was just talking about how...
00:45:31.000 But he's also crashed two GT3s.
00:45:33.000 He has.
00:45:34.000 But he left the shots in.
00:45:36.000 He didn't edit it out of the film.
00:45:38.000 But then he blamed the car.
00:45:39.000 Like I blamed the pool table.
00:45:41.000 That's what he does.
00:45:44.000 You are not one to judge someone else for making excuses.
00:45:49.000 You've never made an excuse in your life, have you?
00:45:52.000 I want to hear your excuse for not making any excuses.
00:45:55.000 Catholic boarding school.
00:45:56.000 Okay.
00:45:57.000 That's where I go with that.
00:45:59.000 In fairness, he crashed Porsches and made fun of himself when he did it.
00:46:03.000 He said, because these cars, I don't like these cars because they don't tolerate fools.
00:46:07.000 And I am a fool.
00:46:09.000 That's a good line.
00:46:10.000 It's true.
00:46:10.000 I mean, he drives like a fucking maniac.
00:46:12.000 That's half of the fun of him, is that he's this kind of unhinged dude who drives like a maniac.
00:46:18.000 Last season he shat on a BMW because he spun it in a straight line.
00:46:23.000 It was raining, and he just spun the car, and his conclusion was that the car sucked.
00:46:28.000 Well, the thing is, though, his kind of car is different than what I would like.
00:46:31.000 His kind of car is indeed one that makes smoke everywhere, goes sideways.
00:46:34.000 That's why he likes all the big AMGs, and that's fun.
00:46:37.000 I kind of like traction and getting into rhythm and driving through canyons, so that's why I like Porsches.
00:46:42.000 Yeah, you know, I think a car that makes unnecessary burnouts is a kind of stupid car.
00:46:48.000 It's fun for a bit, right?
00:46:49.000 Like a Shelby.
00:46:50.000 They're fun cars.
00:46:51.000 But they're kind of stupid.
00:46:54.000 Like, that's fucking retarded.
00:46:57.000 You're not in control of it.
00:46:58.000 The whole thing is you're in control of something you're not in control of.
00:47:00.000 You're kind of in control of it, but it's going sideways.
00:47:01.000 It's supposed to go straight.
00:47:02.000 It's like bull riding with a car.
00:47:03.000 Well, you know, like how I got into the car thing, too.
00:47:07.000 I mean, I took a 996 Turbo, you know, and I went drag racing with it.
00:47:11.000 Talk about stupid, right?
00:47:12.000 An English guy going to a drag strip.
00:47:14.000 What difference does it make if you're English, Iranian, Polish?
00:47:17.000 Okay, English guys don't drag race.
00:47:19.000 They don't?
00:47:19.000 We go around, you know, tracks and stuff.
00:47:21.000 There's a bunch of Englishmen who are going to be fucking knocking on your Twitter door.
00:47:24.000 I've been drag racing since before, you and your daddy's dick.
00:47:27.000 A friend of mine's got a 69 Charger in England who drag races.
00:47:30.000 He's got a parachute on that shit.
00:47:32.000 So there you go.
00:47:33.000 Talking nonsense again.
00:47:34.000 It's all this fucking English people don't do this shit.
00:47:36.000 Selling your own country but down a river.
00:47:39.000 Calling Jeremy Clarkson a scoundrel or some such.
00:47:42.000 He just doesn't like horses.
00:47:44.000 He's always a funny guy, man.
00:47:46.000 He doesn't need to like horses.
00:47:47.000 There's probably a lot of music he likes that I think is dog shit.
00:47:50.000 We don't need to like the same goddamn things.
00:47:52.000 You know what?
00:47:53.000 He's like furniture in a way.
00:47:55.000 He's just been around.
00:47:56.000 You sit on it.
00:47:56.000 You use it.
00:47:57.000 And you appreciate it.
00:47:58.000 Let's be real about what's going on here.
00:48:00.000 You're a Porsche fanboy.
00:48:01.000 I am.
00:48:02.000 I am.
00:48:02.000 But I'm wearing a Honda shirt.
00:48:04.000 You are.
00:48:05.000 It's okay to be a Porsche fanboy.
00:48:07.000 It's okay.
00:48:08.000 Yeah, they do make good cars.
00:48:09.000 They make the best cars.
00:48:10.000 I think they make the best cars.
00:48:11.000 They make the most satisfying and shitty cars.
00:48:13.000 You know what I wish they wouldn't do?
00:48:14.000 What?
00:48:14.000 Is make four-door cars and sedans and all that other shit.
00:48:17.000 Son, you're talking out of your nonsense hole because you need to get a hold of one of those Panamaras and...
00:48:26.000 And watch time bend in front of your eyes while you're driving a fucking sedan.
00:48:31.000 You're in some cozy executive chair with plush leather and you're violating time.
00:48:37.000 Panamera Turbo.
00:48:40.000 The new ones are nice.
00:48:41.000 They're loud and shit, too.
00:48:43.000 They make all kinds of good noises now.
00:48:45.000 It's only $190,000.
00:48:48.000 I drove one, $227,000.
00:48:51.000 Long wheelbase, Turbo S with ceramics, and the full interior rear.
00:48:58.000 We were going to get one to do development on, right?
00:49:02.000 Before it came out, we put in an order.
00:49:04.000 What could you possibly do to that thing?
00:49:06.000 You can add software, you can add exhaust because it's a turbocharged car, right?
00:49:10.000 We add about 100 horsepower to those cars usually.
00:49:13.000 Oh my god!
00:49:13.000 They can make like 700 out of those things.
00:49:15.000 But I totaled up the bill for the build sheet because I wanted ceramics to go out of that.
00:49:20.000 Those are like carbon ceramic brakes for geeks.
00:49:22.000 They don't create any dust and they don't heat up.
00:49:25.000 They're great brakes.
00:49:26.000 They feel like the best brakes ever.
00:49:28.000 They last mostly forever.
00:49:29.000 Except if you go to the racetrack.
00:49:31.000 But anyway, yeah, the bill was like 190k.
00:49:33.000 Yeah.
00:49:35.000 Wow, $190,000 over.
00:49:36.000 For a four-door car.
00:49:37.000 Wow.
00:49:38.000 And you know how those four-door cars are.
00:49:40.000 You buy them, and then two, three years later, they're worth nothing.
00:49:45.000 You can't get rid of them.
00:49:46.000 What is a 2010 Panamera Turbo is going for now?
00:49:49.000 Can you get them for like $70,000 yet?
00:49:51.000 Around, yeah.
00:49:52.000 Almost.
00:49:53.000 My dad had a Cayenne Turbo, which I know you've got.
00:49:56.000 That was like $108,000 new in 2005, and he sold it for $28,000.
00:50:03.000 In 09. That's insane.
00:50:06.000 The dealer offered him 20 even on trade.
00:50:08.000 I remember there was one of my customers that had like 8 different Cayennes, because he's had 911 turbos, but he also has Cayennes.
00:50:17.000 And one of them was the Cayenne Turbo S, and it did.
00:50:19.000 It stickered up to like 160 something.
00:50:21.000 It had ceramics, everything.
00:50:23.000 Aero kit.
00:50:23.000 Ceramics?
00:50:24.000 Yeah, ceramics.
00:50:25.000 One of the things that I like about American cars is there's a disaster going on right now with American cars.
00:50:31.000 There's a long period of just fucking terrible ideas and shitty design and shit build quality.
00:50:38.000 But at least there's a series of cars that have stuck with a manual transmission only.
00:50:44.000 The Shelby GT500, the Viper...
00:50:48.000 You can't get a fucking automatic transmission.
00:50:50.000 Can you imagine an automatic Viper?
00:50:52.000 They'll make it.
00:50:53.000 It's a matter of time.
00:50:54.000 You can still get manual Corvettes, too.
00:50:56.000 You can start getting the double clutch Corvette, which I think is...
00:51:00.000 No, it's not a double clutch.
00:51:01.000 It's just auto.
00:51:02.000 Oh, it's still auto?
00:51:03.000 It's a torque converter auto.
00:51:03.000 I thought the new one was a double clutch.
00:51:05.000 I thought the first...
00:51:06.000 The one that you drove- no, Chris Harris drove one in a 911. That was an auto.
00:51:11.000 That was an auto.
00:51:12.000 It was a fucking auto.
00:51:12.000 It was an auto.
00:51:13.000 Dog shit.
00:51:13.000 That's such dog shit.
00:51:14.000 That auto sucks, too.
00:51:15.000 But you can get it in stick.
00:51:16.000 Like, you can get it.
00:51:17.000 As long as you can get it, it's fine.
00:51:19.000 But the new ones, apparently, you've driven it.
00:51:23.000 Which?
00:51:23.000 Jump up.
00:51:23.000 Huge jump.
00:51:24.000 The new Corvettes.
00:51:25.000 The new Corvettes are great.
00:51:26.000 The one I drove had the performance pack on it, the magnetic ride, the shocks.
00:51:35.000 GM has the coolest shocks in the world.
00:51:38.000 They're so cool that Ferrari licenses the design.
00:51:41.000 It's called...
00:51:45.000 Magnetic ride control.
00:51:46.000 Sorry.
00:51:46.000 So the shocks have a magnetic fluid in the shock as opposed to a hydraulic fluid or whatever that they normally use.
00:51:52.000 And they send different levels of current through there to make it soft or firm and variable.
00:51:59.000 Wow.
00:52:00.000 Right?
00:52:00.000 And Ferrari uses them on the F12, the 458, all the Ferraris use them.
00:52:06.000 Yeah, they had that cool advert where they had a Cadillac CTS-V going around a racetrack, and it was following a Ferrari.
00:52:14.000 I thought that was pretty cool how they kind of worked together, and they actually advertised a Ferrari and a Cadillac together.
00:52:19.000 I bet it was part of the licensing.
00:52:20.000 Yeah.
00:52:21.000 You know, that was another cool move by GM when they put out the Z28, or the Z06. Yeah.
00:52:27.000 The Z28 also, only standard, right?
00:52:30.000 They don't have a double charge.
00:52:31.000 No manual.
00:52:32.000 Only manual.
00:52:33.000 The new Z28 is actually...
00:52:34.000 Think about that.
00:52:35.000 The Viper, GT500, the Corvette Z06, and the Corvette ZR1. Yeah.
00:52:42.000 All only manual.
00:52:43.000 Yep.
00:52:43.000 At least they held onto that.
00:52:44.000 They do.
00:52:45.000 Hats off to that.
00:52:46.000 But actually, the new Z28, I'm not a Camaro guy.
00:52:50.000 I didn't grow up with any Camaros or anything.
00:52:51.000 We didn't have them.
00:52:52.000 But the new Z28, people should check out if they're into fun track cars.
00:52:57.000 Because even guys that have GT3s now that can't drive them, the new one, nobody can drive those.
00:53:03.000 Porsche's called them and said to all 756 of the ones delivered, park your car.
00:53:08.000 We're coming to get it.
00:53:09.000 We're going to replace your engine.
00:53:11.000 There's a problem.
00:53:12.000 A lot of those guys...
00:53:13.000 Dude, it's gotten worse.
00:53:14.000 A lot of those guys are basically going and buying Z28s.
00:53:18.000 So they gave their car back?
00:53:20.000 Yeah.
00:53:21.000 The Z28s, Harris just got one in ADK and drove it.
00:53:24.000 Did he really?
00:53:25.000 I flew all the way to New York to drive it from LA, and it was raining at the track, and they wouldn't let me drive it.
00:53:31.000 I had flown across the country, and they go, nope, and I go, like, come on, and they said it was worthless in the wet.
00:53:37.000 But you know what people have said, though, they've driven it, that have had GT3s?
00:53:42.000 Well, no, but they immediately, because the new GT3 is, you know, basically, it's PDK, And then they go back into a Z28 and they're just having fun because it's manual.
00:53:50.000 With a manual transmission.
00:53:52.000 Yeah, it's better.
00:53:54.000 Wake up.
00:53:55.000 It's more fun.
00:53:55.000 We're not going to be driving soon.
00:53:57.000 You're not going to be allowed to do anything.
00:53:58.000 You'll just be sitting in there reading your newspaper.
00:54:01.000 That was an episode of Jeremy Clarkson when he was driving the Z06 or when he was driving the ZR1. Yeah, yeah.
00:54:07.000 He was like, are you listening, Ferrari?
00:54:10.000 You know, like just a regular manual transmission.
00:54:12.000 Why don't you make one of those?
00:54:13.000 A Ferrari with a manual gearbox is so fun.
00:54:16.000 It's so dark that they're canceling all that stuff.
00:54:20.000 It's the customer's fault.
00:54:23.000 When they started offering paddles instead of a stick, the take rate was like 95%.
00:54:28.000 You know what I think it is, man?
00:54:29.000 It's another example.
00:54:31.000 Of the shitheads taking over the earth.
00:54:33.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:54:34.000 It's like these rich people, all of them have terrible taste.
00:54:37.000 They all do.
00:54:38.000 It's like, what's going on here?
00:54:40.000 It's the people that are becoming really rich.
00:54:42.000 LA's the fucking worst, man.
00:54:43.000 Everyone puts rims on their shit.
00:54:45.000 They buy a fucking $300,000 Ferrari and they put fucking rims on it.
00:54:50.000 Some of those rims are so gross, too.
00:54:52.000 Like the 22-inch rims.
00:54:53.000 They're idiots.
00:54:54.000 Where they're like wagon wheels and shit.
00:54:56.000 Fucking West Coast Customs and Platinum Motorsport garbage.
00:54:59.000 You obviously haven't visited Oakland, then, have you?
00:55:01.000 I've been visiting Oakland, sure.
00:55:03.000 Oh, that's where you get some really good rides.
00:55:06.000 Remember Spinners?
00:55:07.000 Oh, dude!
00:55:09.000 Floaters, dude!
00:55:09.000 Floaters!
00:55:10.000 I didn't have them, but no.
00:55:11.000 But I lived in New York, right?
00:55:13.000 And Latrell Sprewell lived right up the street from my parents.
00:55:16.000 And remember back in the day, the Spinners?
00:55:19.000 Sprewell bought the company.
00:55:21.000 That made those, and they were called Sprewells for like 10 years.
00:55:26.000 Nice.
00:55:26.000 Remember everyone used to call Spinners Sprewells back then?
00:55:29.000 No, that was probably only your neighborhood.
00:55:31.000 It's probably because I was in New York and Sprewell played for the fucking Knicks.
00:55:34.000 You were probably video gaming then anyway.
00:55:36.000 Yeah, Sprewells was crazy.
00:55:38.000 I remember, I just, I never heard that, call them that.
00:55:40.000 I just heard Spinners.
00:55:41.000 And there was the opposite?
00:55:42.000 Yeah, the Floaters.
00:55:44.000 No, the Floaters.
00:55:44.000 Remember the Floaters?
00:55:45.000 Well, floaters, I think I called them stayers.
00:55:47.000 You called them stayers?
00:55:48.000 They were the opposite, because the car would drive, but the rim would stay.
00:55:51.000 Yeah, I remember that.
00:55:52.000 Those were pretty cool, right?
00:55:53.000 Yeah, people gave up on that shit quick.
00:55:55.000 Yeah, high-maintenance rims.
00:55:57.000 Yeah.
00:55:58.000 Well, it's also like any time you hit a pothole, there was no padding.
00:56:03.000 You would blow out tires left and right.
00:56:05.000 I don't know, man.
00:56:06.000 But in Porsche's defense, you know, the other reason they went to PDK and got rid of the six-speed was a lot of people can't drive the car properly.
00:56:14.000 And what happens is when you take the control away from people and the ability to do something wrong, like misshift or money shift, as you call it, you know, and blow up your engine and then some, you know, Somebody goes back with their car and says, oh, I want you to warranty it and fix it.
00:56:28.000 Let's nerf the world, Alex Ross.
00:56:30.000 People can't handle it.
00:56:31.000 Let's nerf the world.
00:56:33.000 They can't get a manual transmission.
00:56:34.000 My grandfather drove a fucking three on the column.
00:56:37.000 They used to have some crazy gearboxes back in the day.
00:56:42.000 I just read a manual of how to drive a Model T. There's nothing like what you think it would be.
00:56:49.000 What was it like?
00:56:50.000 There's a pedal, but it's just...
00:56:53.000 Is it online?
00:56:53.000 Yeah, you're just going.
00:56:54.000 You put it in gear, and there's no...
00:56:56.000 You're just going.
00:56:57.000 It has a roller thing, right?
00:56:58.000 Just go.
00:56:58.000 Okay, so it's one gear.
00:57:00.000 It's two gears.
00:57:01.000 Two gears.
00:57:02.000 Does it shift itself, or do you shift?
00:57:04.000 No, no.
00:57:05.000 Is there a clutch?
00:57:07.000 Yes, there's a clutch.
00:57:08.000 But there's also, like, you have to adjust the spark advance and the ignition timing.
00:57:15.000 While you're driving?
00:57:15.000 Oh, yeah.
00:57:16.000 Whoa.
00:57:17.000 There's all kinds of stuff going on.
00:57:19.000 Okay, okay.
00:57:19.000 How many different various functions that don't exist?
00:57:22.000 Oh, there's a chart.
00:57:23.000 This is it right here?
00:57:24.000 Yeah, where's the chart?
00:57:26.000 Keeps going.
00:57:27.000 This is the instructions of how to drive a Model T. But there's a chart that shows all the different positions of the Spark Advance levers.
00:57:35.000 Keep going.
00:57:36.000 Oh my god.
00:57:36.000 And it's a huge undertaking to drive a Model T. Wow.
00:57:42.000 So pretty much it would have been easier to fly a plane instead of this.
00:57:45.000 I don't know where the chart is.
00:57:47.000 There's so many diagrams and shit.
00:57:49.000 Look up like a Model T, a Spark Advance chart or something.
00:57:54.000 I don't know.
00:57:54.000 It's crazy the amount of things that people had to do to drive a car.
00:58:00.000 Just to get a car to fucking move.
00:58:02.000 That's so crazy.
00:58:04.000 So how many different things?
00:58:05.000 You're saying adjust the what?
00:58:07.000 So they had like a centrifugal type clutch.
00:58:10.000 So there was no accelerator pedal.
00:58:12.000 There it is.
00:58:12.000 Look, these are all the different...
00:58:14.000 So there's two levers.
00:58:16.000 And these are all the different possible positions, and there are nine possible combinations of positions for depending on how fast you want to go.
00:58:25.000 So that lever on the right, I believe, is actually your throttle.
00:58:29.000 There's no gas pedal.
00:58:31.000 That lever is your throttle.
00:58:33.000 So you just set that, and it's like cruise control all the time.
00:58:37.000 And then you have high gear and low gear.
00:58:39.000 It's like a crank start.
00:58:41.000 Yeah, see?
00:58:41.000 The left lever is spark advance.
00:58:43.000 Look at this.
00:58:44.000 For a speed of 10 miles per hour on high gear, leave spark advance 5 notches.
00:58:49.000 Open gas 2 or 3 notches.
00:58:51.000 Holy shit!
00:58:52.000 So that's what you do to maintain 10 miles an hour.
00:58:55.000 You know how many people complain when this went away?
00:58:58.000 Well, you don't even adjust your spark.
00:58:59.000 That's what I'm saying!
00:59:00.000 I don't even feel like I'm driving a car anymore.
00:59:02.000 That's exactly what it is.
00:59:03.000 I don't even start my engine with a flint.
00:59:05.000 You kids and your key ignitions.
00:59:08.000 They're out there with a fucking rock and a file trying to start the car.
00:59:11.000 Tink, tink, tink, vroom.
00:59:13.000 You ever see Leno in his steam cars?
00:59:15.000 You gotta light a boiler 45 minutes before you go in.
00:59:18.000 Does he really?
00:59:19.000 Yeah.
00:59:19.000 Oh my god, that's insane.
00:59:21.000 He has to heat up like a fucking keg of water.
00:59:24.000 Leno has probably the dopest individual garage ever.
00:59:30.000 It's crazy.
00:59:31.000 He's got a warehouse filled with...
00:59:34.000 A warehouse?
00:59:34.000 Like seven, you mean?
00:59:35.000 Seven warehouses?
00:59:36.000 I think it's two airplane hangers.
00:59:39.000 Imagine if we found out that Leno was just selling coke the entire time.
00:59:42.000 How else is he getting this money?
00:59:44.000 I mean, this is too much money.
00:59:45.000 It doesn't even make sense.
00:59:46.000 He says that he doesn't spend his Tonight Show money.
00:59:50.000 He only spends his stand-up money.
00:59:52.000 Yeah, which is insane.
00:59:53.000 So he's just sitting on stockpiles of Tonight Show cash.
00:59:56.000 Unbelievable car.
00:59:57.000 Crazy.
00:59:57.000 I can't even imagine how much money that's the case.
00:59:59.000 Because he was the host of the Tonight Show for, what, decades?
01:00:02.000 I mean, his car collection is $100 million.
01:00:04.000 Well, just, yeah.
01:00:05.000 $100 million?
01:00:07.000 $100 million is what his car collection's worth.
01:00:08.000 And he also has like 220 bikes, too.
01:00:10.000 Ralph Lauren's car collection is worth $500 million if you want to feel really sick.
01:00:14.000 What?
01:00:15.000 Yeah.
01:00:15.000 How's that possible?
01:00:17.000 Ralph Lauren has 65 cars worth $500 million.
01:00:21.000 Do the math on that shit.
01:00:23.000 That's the craziest thing ever in my life.
01:00:24.000 It's an average value of like eight-something million.
01:00:25.000 Are those all those like old dogshit Mercedes-Benz that are worth a million dollars each?
01:00:30.000 No, they're like, he has one of every Ferrari that won Le Mans for like ten fucking years.
01:00:34.000 Oh, he's one of those assholes.
01:00:35.000 Those cars are old as fuck and almost useless.
01:00:39.000 He does drive them all, though.
01:00:41.000 He'd save $7 million for Steve McQueen's car.
01:00:43.000 Well, you're a fucking idiot, because Steve wouldn't drive it if he was alive today.
01:00:45.000 Okay?
01:00:46.000 If he was alive today, he'd go to Shark Works to get himself a fucking real car.
01:00:49.000 You think Steve McQueen would have one of those dogshit old James Dean killing fucking shitboxes?
01:00:54.000 That is Steve McQueen's car.
01:00:54.000 Yeah, because that's all that was available back then.
01:00:57.000 Duh!
01:00:58.000 If Steve McQueen was alive today, he'd be driving a fucking Cayenne.
01:01:01.000 Look at those tires, man.
01:01:02.000 Look at those tires.
01:01:05.000 He'd be a Panamera Turbo on rims.
01:01:07.000 He'd be a Panamera Turbo at 26 inches.
01:01:10.000 He'd have spinners.
01:01:11.000 Color-coded to match the car's interior.
01:01:13.000 They spinnin'!
01:01:14.000 Yeah, he'd be fuckin'...
01:01:16.000 Would Steve McQueen have gone for the painted key option?
01:01:19.000 He would have gone for the matte black.
01:01:20.000 Oh, these are Ralph's cars.
01:01:21.000 Look at that.
01:01:22.000 So that's 50 million.
01:01:23.000 What?
01:01:24.000 That is a Bugatti.
01:01:24.000 I'd give you 10 bucks for it, then I'd sell it for 20 and be done with it.
01:01:28.000 There's three of those in the world.
01:01:29.000 Well, let's blow it up and make it two.
01:01:32.000 It's like a goddamn dodo bird.
01:01:34.000 Leno's got one.
01:01:35.000 If I found a dodo bird today, if there was only one left, I'd hit it with a fucking rock.
01:01:39.000 You wouldn't drop 50 mil on that?
01:01:43.000 Just re-extinct that bit.
01:01:45.000 There was a dodo bird and fucking, this is the last remaining, I'd choke it to death in the bathroom.
01:01:50.000 And then I would make a story up.
01:01:53.000 Try to flush it down the toilet.
01:01:55.000 I just drowned that fucker.
01:01:56.000 See each of those in that grid there.
01:01:59.000 Bottom right, the McLaren F1. That's my favorite.
01:02:02.000 These cars are insane.
01:02:03.000 And McLaren has a new insane car that's like 1 point something million dollars.
01:02:09.000 P1. Yeah, so they have the regular...
01:02:11.000 I found out about this because I was telling people that the McLaren, that's the more common one, It doesn't sound very good.
01:02:20.000 It's a turbocharged car.
01:02:22.000 So, you know, those turbos, they block a lot of the sound.
01:02:25.000 They act like mufflers, you know?
01:02:26.000 So naturally aspirated cars are always going to be more loud.
01:02:28.000 I was telling someone, he goes, what are you talking about?
01:02:30.000 He sends me this video, this thing sounds amazing.
01:02:32.000 I was like, that is not the same fucking car.
01:02:34.000 Turns out it's a car that's ten times more expensive.
01:02:38.000 Oh, was it a McLaren F1? It was the new one.
01:02:40.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, the P1. And the P1 shoots fire, fire.
01:02:44.000 Like, on gas fire.
01:02:47.000 It's so good that Chris Harris said it's a step up above the Porsche 918, which is like the greatest car the world has ever known, up until a week ago.
01:02:54.000 Harris said that the 918 is amazing, but the P1 is like an alien just dropped a car on Earth and this is it, you know what I mean?
01:03:03.000 Yeah, I wasn't overly impressed with that 918. I mean, as far as technology, it looks and does all that stuff really well.
01:03:10.000 But honestly, I go back to the manual thing.
01:03:13.000 I've driven CGTs and that's what I would take.
01:03:15.000 That thing is amazing.
01:03:16.000 That thing is connected.
01:03:18.000 You know what I think?
01:03:19.000 I think that automotive technology has reached a sufficient limit with what is existing today.
01:03:26.000 Where we can have these wacky fucking future million dollar cars for Russian oligarchs.
01:03:32.000 You can have these nutty cars that you and I will never be able to afford.
01:03:36.000 But really, there needs to be some sort of a balance between the GTR-type, supercomputer, unbelievably cool cars, and a visceral car.
01:03:47.000 Like a car that you feel the engine, like a GT3-type experience, or something more raw.
01:03:53.000 Because if they just keep...
01:03:56.000 Over-engineering to the point where you're just going to completely lose the pleasure from driving.
01:04:01.000 Laptimes take into it.
01:04:03.000 And the problem is, a lot of the time, the limiting factor is to the tires and the driver.
01:04:08.000 But don't you think that the way technology has reached...
01:04:10.000 If you take the driver out of the equation, right?
01:04:11.000 You take the driver out of the equation if the shifting is done for you, right?
01:04:14.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:04:15.000 Well, you take some of it, but what I'm trying to say is I think that where the technology has reached right now, They can make amazing, super-competent cars that just five, ten years ago would be Ferrari supercar level, and they can make them where you feel everything.
01:04:29.000 They can have incredible performance that's thrilling, braking that's fantastic, handling that's spectacular, but make it so you can feel it.
01:04:37.000 Yeah, it's not going to be as fast around a track as a fucking GT-R from 2015. But it's probably going to be more than fast enough for you.
01:04:45.000 Like, what the fuck are you doing exactly that you need 600 fucking horsepower?
01:04:49.000 You're arguing on the internet.
01:04:50.000 Well, you know, like going to the NSX, you know, when you were driving that, right?
01:04:53.000 I mean, it didn't even have 300 horsepower, but it, you know, it had a good amount of power.
01:04:59.000 And then you're thinking, like, Now you're driving, you know, in GT3s that have over 500 horsepower, and then there's, you know, yeah, like 991 Turbo S's that have, you know, even more than that.
01:05:11.000 Well, that was what Chris Harris had done with that little rally car that he had made.
01:05:15.000 He had taken the car and made it really, really light.
01:05:17.000 It was only 2,000 pounds, and he put a 320-plus horsepower engine in it.
01:05:22.000 That's a rocket.
01:05:23.000 Oh, my goodness.
01:05:24.000 Well, we also, you know...
01:05:26.000 You talk about...
01:05:27.000 If you want something that's wrong, we have shit on the other end of the spectrum, too.
01:05:31.000 You've got stuff like the Ariel Atom.
01:05:33.000 You've got the Morgan Three-Wheelers, which are hilarious fun.
01:05:38.000 Lotus and stuff with the Elise.
01:05:40.000 Yeah, but you know what, man?
01:05:42.000 I tried one of those.
01:05:43.000 The Lotus?
01:05:44.000 Yeah.
01:05:44.000 They're fucking shitboxes.
01:05:46.000 I was like, this is a little beer can with fucking wheels attached to it.
01:05:50.000 It just felt like plastic.
01:05:50.000 You don't want to drive one in LA, too.
01:05:52.000 Nobody with money wants one.
01:05:54.000 Yeah, why is that?
01:05:55.000 Because they don't feel expensive.
01:05:57.000 They feel fucking cheap.
01:05:58.000 Light is great, but most people don't want to pay extra for it.
01:06:02.000 Like, we just had a Viper, right?
01:06:04.000 You know, Viper is the kind of thing that I would want to be driving, right?
01:06:09.000 Because it's fucking loud, it's got a huge motor, it's stick, you know?
01:06:13.000 And there's a lot of technology in there, carbon fiber, and it's got a ton of horsepower and stuff, but they charge you for it.
01:06:22.000 So the Viper was like $140,000, whereas the Carrera S, the new one, when they charge you that much money, you've got...
01:06:32.000 Like, a Porsche feels more technologically advanced.
01:06:36.000 You know what I mean?
01:06:36.000 Yeah, but Porsche's got it right.
01:06:39.000 What they do is they do this reverse thing where it's like, I don't want to have a radio.
01:06:44.000 Oh, they charge you more.
01:06:45.000 Yeah, I don't want to have a sunroof.
01:06:46.000 I don't want to have this.
01:06:47.000 And they're like, no problem.
01:06:48.000 There's more money.
01:06:49.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:06:50.000 They do charge you more for less.
01:06:52.000 But we've got some really lightweight, crazy, pure stuff that you can buy that you would never be able to buy years ago.
01:06:58.000 Like what?
01:06:59.000 Ariel Adam.
01:07:00.000 Have you seen the BAC Mono?
01:07:01.000 Yeah, that thing's sick.
01:07:02.000 It looks like a 401 car you can drive on the street.
01:07:04.000 Really?
01:07:05.000 What's it called?
01:07:05.000 The BAC Mono.
01:07:07.000 Pull that shit up, Jamie.
01:07:09.000 It's really nutty.
01:07:10.000 Looks like an insect.
01:07:11.000 The Ariel Adam is a ridiculous car.
01:07:13.000 Yeah.
01:07:13.000 There's a lot of ways to die in one of them things.
01:07:15.000 It seems like it.
01:07:15.000 Yeah, there are.
01:07:17.000 It seems like any time you're wearing a helmet and you're in a car.
01:07:19.000 Wait, wait, wait, wait.
01:07:20.000 What's with the helmet, man?
01:07:21.000 What are you doing?
01:07:22.000 You're on the street and you're wearing a helmet?
01:07:23.000 Hell, you take shit to the fucking face.
01:07:25.000 Look at that thing.
01:07:26.000 That's the BAC Mono.
01:07:27.000 That is so ridiculous.
01:07:29.000 It's a single-seater.
01:07:30.000 Oh my god.
01:07:32.000 Which I think is kind of stupid because...
01:07:34.000 You spend all this money on this car.
01:07:36.000 You can't give anyone a fucking ride.
01:07:37.000 Yeah, but that's good.
01:07:39.000 That way you can't give anyone a ride.
01:07:40.000 And get sued, yeah.
01:07:42.000 There's a pro and a con.
01:07:43.000 I'm a glass half full kind of a guy.
01:07:45.000 I see that and I go, I see no one wooching to ride off of me.
01:07:49.000 Plus, there's no room for bottles and fucking wrappers to accumulate.
01:07:54.000 You know?
01:07:54.000 It's like you gotta keep that bitch clean.
01:07:55.000 You're forced to.
01:07:56.000 You're not gonna sit on your own garbage.
01:07:58.000 So you're not gonna go through fast food lanes.
01:08:01.000 You're not gonna listen to the radio.
01:08:02.000 You got no radio, bitch.
01:08:04.000 Imagine a hoarder with a mono.
01:08:05.000 And it's like, there's nowhere to put it.
01:08:08.000 But like, there's just trash, stunt newspapers.
01:08:11.000 That car looks so ridiculous.
01:08:12.000 Pull that picture up again, Jimmy.
01:08:14.000 It looks unbelievable.
01:08:16.000 This is a street legal car in America?
01:08:18.000 Yeah.
01:08:19.000 So anybody could just go out, buy one of these, and you could just see them driving down to Palmetto.
01:08:23.000 I see the guy who has one of these, I see him in the canyons.
01:08:26.000 No way.
01:08:27.000 And what does one of those go for?
01:08:29.000 I think it's around a hundred grand?
01:08:31.000 That's it?
01:08:32.000 No, I think it's quite a bit more, yeah.
01:08:34.000 Now, how quick would you die if you got hit in one of those things?
01:08:36.000 Very, very quick.
01:08:38.000 Is there any protection at all, or does it kill you just to give you mercy?
01:08:40.000 Well, it's a carbon monocoque, right?
01:08:42.000 Instead of having airbags, it has spikes that come out of the dashboard and shoot right to your fucking brain.
01:08:47.000 I think it is.
01:08:48.000 Don't hold it.
01:08:49.000 Look, there it is.
01:08:50.000 There's the chassis.
01:08:51.000 Yeah, can you enlarge that picture?
01:08:52.000 Forbidden.
01:08:52.000 It's forbidden.
01:08:53.000 It's forbidden.
01:08:53.000 They don't want you to see it.
01:08:55.000 There's nothing there.
01:08:56.000 Yeah, it's a tube frame.
01:08:59.000 Yeah, you would die very, very quickly if you were in an accident.
01:09:01.000 Maybe you, bitch.
01:09:02.000 Not me, bro.
01:09:03.000 Walk away from that like nothing.
01:09:05.000 I got a different set of rules.
01:09:09.000 You're immortal, obviously.
01:09:10.000 I just know how to get away.
01:09:12.000 I roll with punches.
01:09:13.000 I've been around the block, bro.
01:09:15.000 I grew up in New York.
01:09:16.000 You know those fucking guys?
01:09:17.000 Pretend like, listen, don't worry about me.
01:09:19.000 I grew up in New York.
01:09:20.000 Do you have a different nose structure?
01:09:22.000 They're from Bedford.
01:09:23.000 You're going to hit you in the face with a pipe.
01:09:24.000 You're going to feel the same shit as a guy from Cleveland, you fuckhead.
01:09:28.000 What the fuck are you saying?
01:09:30.000 Ariel, Adam, put your helmet on.
01:09:31.000 Put your fucking superhero outfit on.
01:09:34.000 If you don't have like an actual, you know, death wish.
01:09:37.000 Is that like someone's grandma sitting in that car?
01:09:39.000 Oh, it's like a kid.
01:09:41.000 No, no, no.
01:09:42.000 Is that a baby in that lady's arm?
01:09:45.000 It's a dog.
01:09:46.000 It's a dog.
01:09:46.000 Oh, Christ.
01:09:48.000 There's a car called Noble?
01:09:49.000 That's what kind of an asshole drives a car like that.
01:09:51.000 The kind of guy who's dating a chick who brings her fucking dog everywhere.
01:09:56.000 Have you seen a Noble before?
01:09:58.000 Yes.
01:09:58.000 They're cool.
01:10:00.000 They're not built so well, are they?
01:10:03.000 They're like a kit car?
01:10:05.000 Yeah, it's very kit car-ish.
01:10:06.000 It's sort of worse than a loader.
01:10:07.000 They try really hard.
01:10:09.000 Isn't that one of those things where you bring it somewhere and they have to put the engine in?
01:10:12.000 Yeah, kind of.
01:10:13.000 How's that work?
01:10:13.000 Like, you buy the car, and then you buy the engine?
01:10:16.000 Do you buy the engine from them, too?
01:10:18.000 Yeah.
01:10:19.000 Couldn't you be like, listen, bitch, I'll say I did it, but can't you do it?
01:10:22.000 They have a guy here.
01:10:24.000 As long as they do it in this country, you don't do it.
01:10:26.000 Like, they said they ship it into the U.S. separately and then do what they would call a final assembly.
01:10:31.000 No, but that's to get away from something, right?
01:10:32.000 What is it to get away from?
01:10:33.000 It's to get around airbag standards.
01:10:35.000 So they don't have airbags?
01:10:36.000 No.
01:10:37.000 What the fuck kind of car piece of shit is that?
01:10:39.000 You want a fucking lightweight car or not, bitch?
01:10:40.000 This guy just got done telling me the airbag saved his life.
01:10:42.000 Yeah, they did, actually.
01:10:43.000 You want a raw?
01:10:44.000 So buy a fucking Porsche if you want an airbag.
01:10:45.000 Is that the honest thing?
01:10:46.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:10:47.000 That's the Noble M600, yeah.
01:10:49.000 That doesn't have any airbags?
01:10:50.000 No.
01:10:51.000 Hmm.
01:10:51.000 Or it might have first generation.
01:10:53.000 It doesn't have smart airbags.
01:10:54.000 But you saw, you know, like on Top Gear, I mean, they test stuff.
01:10:57.000 Obviously they test stuff the way they do, but you saw that thing didn't even last the test.
01:11:01.000 They had to like...
01:11:02.000 Did you see that episode?
01:11:03.000 Yeah, it broke on Top Gear.
01:11:04.000 It broke on Top Gear.
01:11:05.000 Oh, that's not good.
01:11:06.000 Well, a lot of cars break.
01:11:08.000 That is true.
01:11:09.000 No, but not like that.
01:11:10.000 No, the Zenvo was...
01:11:12.000 Oh, that was crazy.
01:11:13.000 They implied that the Tesla Roadster ran out of battery.
01:11:17.000 Yeah, that wasn't cool.
01:11:18.000 It didn't actually run out of battery.
01:11:20.000 It had some kind of issue.
01:11:22.000 It had some kind of issue, so they had to push it.
01:11:27.000 So they got, someone got like, get a shot of them pushing it.
01:11:31.000 They got a shot of them pushing it, and then they did a voiceover implying that it had run out of battery.
01:11:37.000 When actually it was being pushed for a completely unrelated reason.
01:11:40.000 How douchey.
01:11:41.000 The judge sided with Top Gear, actually.
01:11:43.000 Really?
01:11:43.000 Yeah, the judge sided with Top Gear.
01:11:44.000 As creative license, just to make a funny show?
01:11:46.000 As they said that it wasn't slanderous because it wasn't, you know, beyond the realm of possibility.
01:11:55.000 The Zenvo guys actually ended up suing them, though.
01:11:57.000 Yeah, well, their car caught on fire.
01:11:59.000 Their supercar caught on fire on Top Gear, and that was like the replacement car for the replacement.
01:12:05.000 So it didn't go down too well.
01:12:07.000 So wait a minute.
01:12:07.000 They had a car that caught on fire or it broke?
01:12:10.000 So it was a car from Holland.
01:12:11.000 First one broke and then the second one caught on fire?
01:12:14.000 Yep.
01:12:14.000 And they blamed Top Gear?
01:12:15.000 Is that what happened?
01:12:15.000 Well, they said that, yeah, they sued him for libel because they were basically saying...
01:12:20.000 They shat all over the car!
01:12:21.000 Yeah, they just...
01:12:21.000 Why did you not?
01:12:23.000 They should.
01:12:24.000 It's a piece of shit.
01:12:25.000 It's a silly lawsuit.
01:12:25.000 You send me a car, and one of them breaks, and the other one catches on fire.
01:12:29.000 That's not a good way to go.
01:12:30.000 It doesn't fucking warn the troops.
01:12:31.000 Well, then they eventually got it working, and they had to do a lap around the track, and they do the laps, but it was wet, and this car's got 1,000 horsepower, so it was slower than a Ford Ford.
01:12:42.000 Yeah.
01:12:43.000 It's just sliding all over the place.
01:12:45.000 Yeah, it was bad.
01:12:45.000 You know what it was?
01:12:46.000 It's just, I think, and, you know, we probably could be guilty of doing this too, but when you work on something for, you know, two, three years, you're in your own cave, and you just forget what the rest of the world is really like, and you just start believing your own Crap, you know?
01:13:00.000 Certainly.
01:13:01.000 No one's perfect.
01:13:02.000 That can definitely happen.
01:13:03.000 That car is definitely a piece of shit.
01:13:04.000 I just think, for sure.
01:13:06.000 I listen to you, my friend.
01:13:07.000 It is a fucking...
01:13:08.000 You're one of the main reasons that I stopped that process of building that old Porsche.
01:13:15.000 Oh, really?
01:13:16.000 I stopped?
01:13:17.000 Why did I stop?
01:13:18.000 You were talking to me about it.
01:13:19.000 You were saying, don't kill yourself, get a 73. And I was like, well, everybody says that you drive one of those things and it's just incredible.
01:13:26.000 He's like, meh.
01:13:27.000 Not really.
01:13:29.000 People like to say that, but not really.
01:13:32.000 It's kind of cool for a while, but you're going to get tired of it.
01:13:34.000 This is the car, the Zenvo, that caught on fire.
01:13:36.000 That looks pretty badass, though.
01:13:38.000 It kind of does.
01:13:39.000 This looks like what an NSX from 2015 should look like.
01:13:43.000 It's a good-looking car, to their credit.
01:13:45.000 NSX, make a car like that and put a fucking stick shift in it, bitch.
01:13:48.000 If they could just do that, if they made the new NSX, but it's gonna be four-wheel drive too.
01:13:53.000 Yeah, which is like so anti-NSX. It's crazy.
01:13:56.000 It's just a badge at this point.
01:13:57.000 Someone would make a really minimalist car.
01:14:00.000 Just cut out all fucking no navigation, no radio.
01:14:04.000 But from a real manufacturer that has like, that builds real things.
01:14:07.000 Right, but that's what the GT3 RS is kind of that.
01:14:11.000 It has a little, okay, it has AC, although you can order it without if you want to be that stupid.
01:14:15.000 It certainly is.
01:14:16.000 Well, actually, does anyone get the cars without AC? So, yes, there were a couple of people.
01:14:21.000 I'm not going to name names.
01:14:23.000 I'm not going to name you.
01:14:23.000 It wasn't me.
01:14:24.000 People who smell their own farts.
01:14:25.000 It wasn't me.
01:14:26.000 People want everybody to smell them.
01:14:28.000 They need a reason.
01:14:30.000 Come on, in California.
01:14:31.000 They're a stinky fetish.
01:14:33.000 Oh, that was Matt Farah's voice, not Joe Rogan's or Alex Ross.
01:14:37.000 No, no, no.
01:14:38.000 Down the river, sail!
01:14:40.000 I love all people.
01:14:42.000 Everyone.
01:14:45.000 Did I just dive onto the Persian buses?
01:14:47.000 They're not going to care.
01:14:49.000 They're comfortable, friendly, very successful people.
01:14:52.000 They can just go back to their Mercedes with gold badges.
01:14:56.000 Who's more successful in America than Persians?
01:14:58.000 Hey, do you play pool, dude?
01:14:58.000 Because you're going the way I'm going with this, man.
01:15:02.000 Who's more successful in America than what?
01:15:04.000 Persians are super successful.
01:15:06.000 They are.
01:15:06.000 They're good negotiators.
01:15:07.000 Are they?
01:15:08.000 They try.
01:15:09.000 They fucking try.
01:15:10.000 Some folks love that.
01:15:12.000 They love to barter.
01:15:13.000 I'm not really a barterer.
01:15:14.000 I'm not into that shit at all.
01:15:16.000 Fuck it, just I'll pay you full price.
01:15:18.000 Can we just get out of here sometime today?
01:15:23.000 How do you barter if there's a price on there already?
01:15:26.000 How do you do that?
01:15:27.000 Some people just do.
01:15:28.000 You tell them, hey, bro, this is no good, this price.
01:15:30.000 Come on, bro.
01:15:31.000 I'll give you better price.
01:15:32.000 This fucking $2,000 for this TV, bro.
01:15:35.000 This is not a $2,000 TV, bro.
01:15:36.000 It's a good TV, bro.
01:15:37.000 It's not $2,000, you know.
01:15:39.000 I know Samsung, okay?
01:15:40.000 I know there's a dude who I went to school with.
01:15:42.000 His uncle is Samsung, alright?
01:15:46.000 I can call Sam right now and give me the fucking straight dope of the shitbox TV you got.
01:15:52.000 This is last year's, bro.
01:15:54.000 This is last year's.
01:15:55.000 You're going to have to get rid of this soon, right?
01:15:57.000 Come on, bro.
01:15:57.000 This is your good guy's voice or Circuit City, right?
01:16:01.000 Yeah, that's my Slavic hustler voice.
01:16:05.000 Hopefully we don't get to the point where you need that one.
01:16:08.000 It's possible.
01:16:09.000 I feel like you could be like a Slavic guy in a Guy Ritchie movie.
01:16:13.000 I would love that.
01:16:14.000 I would love that.
01:16:14.000 I'd be so happy.
01:16:16.000 You know that guy, Nick?
01:16:17.000 There's a guy named Nick Moran who's in Logstock.
01:16:19.000 He plays Nick.
01:16:20.000 And I happened to find myself at a bar.
01:16:22.000 And I sat down next to this guy.
01:16:25.000 Holy shit, anyone ever tell you the guy from fucking Lockstock?
01:16:27.000 And it was him.
01:16:28.000 That's hilarious.
01:16:29.000 That was a great fucking movie.
01:16:30.000 That was great, dude.
01:16:31.000 Whatever.
01:16:32.000 You know, no big deal.
01:16:33.000 You took a chance.
01:16:34.000 What are the odds?
01:16:35.000 I was the only guy right there at that bar that asked him if he was the guy from Lockstock.
01:16:38.000 What are the odds, lad?
01:16:39.000 What are the odds?
01:16:40.000 Nothing wrong with asking that question.
01:16:42.000 That guy, Guy Ritchie, had some fucking banging movies, though.
01:16:44.000 Yeah, he did.
01:16:45.000 He had a run.
01:16:45.000 What happened?
01:16:46.000 Madonna.
01:16:47.000 Madonna sucked her soul out of his dick.
01:16:49.000 That's how she got younger.
01:16:50.000 In that relationship, she lost about five years of age.
01:16:54.000 She pulled it right out of his cock.
01:16:55.000 All his creativity in the middle of the night, she'd mount him like a fucking demon.
01:17:00.000 Like little claws, clinging, holding him in place.
01:17:04.000 Fucking milking him.
01:17:07.000 Sucking his fucking soul right out of his dick.
01:17:09.000 Holy shit.
01:17:09.000 He'll recover, but it's going to take a few years.
01:17:11.000 He'll come out with some new snatch, you know?
01:17:14.000 Snatch, too, yeah.
01:17:15.000 We'll call it Snatch, too.
01:17:16.000 The poster's just Madonna's face.
01:17:18.000 Yeah, just Madonna.
01:17:20.000 Bending over to pick up her toothbrush.
01:17:26.000 Snatch 2. Who's dead?
01:17:29.000 Who died in Snatch?
01:17:30.000 Snatch 3. The old diamond guy, right?
01:17:31.000 Isn't he dead?
01:17:32.000 Yeah.
01:17:33.000 Wait, which fuck?
01:17:34.000 The old Jewish diamond guy?
01:17:36.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:17:36.000 Dennis Farina?
01:17:37.000 Yeah, Dennis Farina, who's fucking awesome.
01:17:39.000 Don't go to London.
01:17:40.000 He died in real life, too, right?
01:17:41.000 Yeah.
01:17:42.000 In fact, I think he lived in the movie and died in real life.
01:17:44.000 That guy was great.
01:17:46.000 He was Cousin Avi.
01:17:47.000 No, Cousin Avi was the other guy, the English guy.
01:17:51.000 What a great fucking movie that was.
01:17:54.000 Lockstock was great, and Snatch was great.
01:17:56.000 Both of them were fucking great.
01:17:57.000 I liked Lockstock better, though.
01:17:58.000 That was the original.
01:17:59.000 And actually what they said was Snatch was...
01:18:01.000 Sort of watered down.
01:18:02.000 It was like the rehash of it, so that you guys didn't need subtitles.
01:18:06.000 Well, he had enough- It's always this, you guys shit.
01:18:09.000 Again, my country brings you in, we're paying to you, we let you under our nuclear umbrella.
01:18:14.000 What do you do?
01:18:14.000 You shit all over us.
01:18:16.000 You talk shit about our pool-playing abilities, how we like to brag on what we can do, and it's never really true.
01:18:23.000 We're too stupid to understand the German cars, so they give us a watered-down version.
01:18:27.000 What the fuck, bro?
01:18:28.000 What the fuck?
01:18:30.000 I got two words for you.
01:18:31.000 Toby Keith.
01:18:32.000 Okay?
01:18:33.000 Toby fucking Keith.
01:18:34.000 That's what America makes.
01:18:37.000 Should've been a cowboy.
01:18:39.000 Yeah, I admitted...
01:18:39.000 You see the 9-11 song guy, too?
01:18:41.000 Yeah.
01:18:42.000 Dude, I admitted the...
01:18:44.000 Yeah, no.
01:18:44.000 I told you...
01:18:45.000 Yuck.
01:18:48.000 Fucking 9-11 song.
01:18:53.000 I'm looking at...
01:18:57.000 The look in your face while you were saying, yuck!
01:19:00.000 It was just such a perfect look and a perfect yuck.
01:19:04.000 Was that the guy with the 9-11 song?
01:19:07.000 Yuck!
01:19:08.000 Oh, that was funny.
01:19:09.000 What would you do?
01:19:10.000 Oh, no!
01:19:12.000 I tell you what I wouldn't do.
01:19:14.000 I wouldn't make that fucking song.
01:19:16.000 We need some better friends.
01:19:18.000 We need some friends that listen to that shit and go, man, Toby, you might want to try from the beginning.
01:19:22.000 Start all over again with this one.
01:19:23.000 You ever think the reason you're not a famous musician is because if you came up with half the shit on the radio, you'd go, no, this is terrible, and just throw it away and never play it again?
01:19:31.000 No, I'm not a famous musician because I have no musical talent whatsoever.
01:19:34.000 You guys could teach us wrestling.
01:19:36.000 That's what you could do.
01:19:37.000 You guys could teach us wrestling.
01:19:38.000 Oh, yeah.
01:19:39.000 Americans, man.
01:19:40.000 You guys are good at that.
01:19:42.000 Very good at that.
01:19:42.000 Well, you know what?
01:19:43.000 I don't believe in you guys.
01:19:44.000 First of all, I don't believe in you guys in this fucking country because this country is basically a colony of people who came from somewhere else.
01:19:51.000 The idea that we're all the same but we came from somewhere else is pretty fucking stupid and kind of, you know, it doesn't work that way.
01:19:58.000 Yeah, but all Australians are criminals.
01:19:59.000 The immigrant people...
01:20:00.000 They're not anymore.
01:20:01.000 The immigration people refuse to believe that they were immigrants at one point.
01:20:05.000 Yeah.
01:20:05.000 It's a great one.
01:20:06.000 It's hilarious.
01:20:07.000 The whole country full of immigrants won't let it in.
01:20:09.000 We've had enough.
01:20:11.000 We've decided.
01:20:12.000 This is it.
01:20:13.000 The doors are closed.
01:20:15.000 The sale is over.
01:20:16.000 There was a great commentary on immigration.
01:20:18.000 This dude was like a Canadian illegal immigrant and like lived in Arizona for like four years.
01:20:24.000 No one gets questioned.
01:20:25.000 Nobody questions him ever.
01:20:27.000 You can tell everybody.
01:20:28.000 Yeah, I don't even have my green card.
01:20:29.000 They're like, okay, you want me to pay in cash?
01:20:30.000 No one gives a fuck.
01:20:31.000 The gardeners are getting picked off fucking one by one by INS, though.
01:20:35.000 Yeah, it's really a racist thing.
01:20:37.000 It's fucking hard to get into this country and get papers.
01:20:40.000 Yeah.
01:20:41.000 It's hard to immigrate to America.
01:20:42.000 I had to take the test.
01:20:43.000 Let me tell you.
01:20:44.000 And you're white as fuck.
01:20:45.000 How was the test?
01:20:46.000 How did it go for you?
01:20:47.000 What was your score?
01:20:47.000 I studied history.
01:20:49.000 It was a perfect score.
01:20:50.000 And you know what else?
01:20:51.000 There was this series on HBO at the time.
01:20:53.000 Yo, don't brag, bro.
01:20:53.000 No, dude, dude.
01:20:54.000 I'm just telling you.
01:20:55.000 I'm telling you.
01:20:56.000 I'm just telling you.
01:20:57.000 Okay, so you guys make good TV. It was on, what was it?
01:21:01.000 Again with his you guys shit!
01:21:02.000 Dude, it was John Adams, right?
01:21:04.000 You remember that?
01:21:05.000 Yeah, John Adams.
01:21:05.000 You know John Adams.
01:21:06.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:21:06.000 It was on HBO at the time.
01:21:07.000 It really helped me with my test.
01:21:08.000 Paul Giamatti, John Adams, right?
01:21:10.000 Yeah, yeah, that one, that one.
01:21:10.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:21:11.000 It was good.
01:21:11.000 It was good shit.
01:21:13.000 Okay.
01:21:14.000 You didn't eat, well, it was on HBO. You guys.
01:21:16.000 You guys are fucking, we do make good fucking TV, though.
01:21:19.000 You do, you do.
01:21:20.000 We make good car shows.
01:21:21.000 What does this country look like from afar?
01:21:23.000 When you're trying to talk about, not the visual look, but when you're talking about how crazy this country is.
01:21:32.000 As someone who grew up in Britain, when you come over here and you see, when you're looking at America from Britain, what is your impression of it?
01:21:40.000 Does it seem as ridiculous as it does once you're here, or does it seem more ridiculous because you're over there in England?
01:21:46.000 So I'll tell you the honest, honest truth, right?
01:21:49.000 I went to the, like, pretty much the best school in England, you know, the princes and the royal family go there, out there too, Westminster.
01:21:57.000 Remember I said 1060, it was built in 1066. Someone is posh.
01:22:00.000 No, I just dropped eating, son.
01:22:03.000 Dude, I just took the plums out of my mouth as soon as I came here because nobody understood the damn thing I said.
01:22:07.000 I couldn't even order McDonald's here.
01:22:09.000 Because you were too posh.
01:22:10.000 Pretty much, yeah.
01:22:11.000 They don't know what a Royale with cheese is on this side of the pond.
01:22:13.000 No, that's a different country.
01:22:14.000 That's France, bro.
01:22:16.000 That's Europe.
01:22:17.000 That's Europe.
01:22:18.000 That's like a stone throw away.
01:22:19.000 The honest truth is that, you know, a small little island, you know, you come over here and you really can do all this crazy shit here that I could never have done like this tuning stuff with Porsches or overclocking PCs, being a dot-com person, you know, internet celebrity.
01:22:35.000 I could never have done that in England.
01:22:36.000 You know why?
01:22:37.000 Because we're just behind there and everyone's like, no.
01:22:39.000 Is that still the case though?
01:22:40.000 Dude, you just get pigeonholed and you have to have parents or friends or know somebody.
01:22:46.000 I mean, I literally, you know, I met some really cool people and I just said, hey, let's just start fucking around with Porsches.
01:22:52.000 I mean...
01:22:53.000 You mean once you came to America?
01:22:54.000 Yeah.
01:22:54.000 What I was trying to get at was like, what's the opinion of America when you're living over in England?
01:23:00.000 Does it look like when you see people, we're invading Afghanistan, fucking blowing up Iraq, and sending missiles into Pakistan from robots that fly in the sky, sucking up all the oil from all over the world.
01:23:10.000 I'll tell you what, that stuff didn't bug us at all.
01:23:13.000 You're fucking awesome neighbors.
01:23:14.000 No, I didn't.
01:23:14.000 No, I didn't.
01:23:16.000 What really fucking pissed us off.
01:23:20.000 This guy's serious.
01:23:20.000 Let him talk.
01:23:21.000 Is when you come into our pubs with your shitty rain jackets, you know, talking to all Americans.
01:23:26.000 Is this we again?
01:23:27.000 Yeah, yeah, it's you guys.
01:23:27.000 What the fuck?
01:23:28.000 Matt Farah!
01:23:29.000 We didn't do nothing!
01:23:31.000 I don't own a single North Face item.
01:23:32.000 I know nothing!
01:23:33.000 North Face, no Palagonia.
01:23:36.000 Over here with this bullshit.
01:23:37.000 None of that shit.
01:23:38.000 Yeah, so, you know, don't be surprised when, you know, you get beaten up.
01:23:41.000 I wear only barber when I'm in the UK. Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.
01:23:45.000 Don't be surprised when you get beaten up.
01:23:46.000 I'm always surprised when I get beaten up.
01:23:49.000 If you're getting beaten up so often that you're not surprised, I'd be like, God damn, man, you gotta fucking go to different places.
01:23:56.000 You gotta talk to people nicer.
01:23:58.000 If you're just fucking getting beaten up left and right, it's not surprising.
01:24:01.000 You're fucking making some critical errors basically everywhere you go.
01:24:06.000 I'm fucking constantly shocked when I'm beaten up.
01:24:09.000 Every time it's ever happened, I've been like, what the fuck did I do this?
01:24:13.000 Let's break this all down and never repeat this problem again.
01:24:17.000 He's like, well, they were wearing the wrong jacket, so we had a cone of them and beat them up for the queen.
01:24:22.000 Hey, mate!
01:24:23.000 You got the wrong colors on!
01:24:25.000 It's like the North Face Inquisition.
01:24:27.000 And you was born on the wrong patch of dirt!
01:24:30.000 We signed the Patagonia Charter in 2014!
01:24:34.000 Knuckle sandwich coming your way, mate!
01:24:36.000 It's like V for Vendetta against all-weather gear.
01:24:40.000 Okay, you know what?
01:24:41.000 We do like you guys...
01:24:41.000 Oh, what are you afraid of a little water, mate?
01:24:44.000 Afraid of getting your neck wet!
01:24:49.000 No, you know what movie you need to see is Sexy Beast.
01:24:52.000 That's what you need to watch.
01:24:53.000 I've seen that movie.
01:24:53.000 How do you know what the fuck I've seen?
01:24:54.000 You're telling me what movie I need to see?
01:24:57.000 Maybe I saw that movie twice!
01:24:58.000 You people don't see Sexy Beast.
01:25:00.000 Yeah, you people don't even know how to make a good proper movie.
01:25:02.000 I'll tell you something else.
01:25:03.000 You can't hear Jimmy.
01:25:05.000 I can't hear Jimmy Saville.
01:25:07.000 What was up with that?
01:25:08.000 How did you guys let that guy bang on those kids?
01:25:10.000 That guy was a freaking creep.
01:25:13.000 Is that our Jerry Sandusky?
01:25:15.000 Yeah, he's way worse.
01:25:18.000 When you work for the BBC that long, he was just like a piece of furniture and nobody would say anything or do anything.
01:25:26.000 Actually, I don't know how you could say way worse, because I read Chandusky probably.
01:25:29.000 No, dude.
01:25:30.000 Probably, it was probably even, no matter how many people they've hosted.
01:25:33.000 Okay, he's way worse.
01:25:34.000 I mean, you know, he was basically dealing with handicapped kids.
01:25:37.000 Yeah.
01:25:38.000 You know, that's, like, kids that were, you know, 6 to 10 years old.
01:25:41.000 That's...
01:25:42.000 Was he a newscaster or something?
01:25:43.000 No, he was like, you know, Make Your Wish Foundation over here.
01:25:47.000 Oh, yeah.
01:25:47.000 That's him?
01:25:48.000 Yeah, dude.
01:25:48.000 Fuck off.
01:25:49.000 No, dude.
01:25:50.000 I can tell you with one picture that guy touches kids.
01:25:52.000 That's him when he was young.
01:25:53.000 If you look at him...
01:25:54.000 Jesus.
01:25:55.000 Look at him later on.
01:25:56.000 Maybe...
01:25:56.000 Oh, man.
01:25:57.000 When he got all his white hair...
01:25:58.000 That was the creepiest looking guy I've seen in a while.
01:26:02.000 You know what else is a good guy?
01:26:03.000 There you go.
01:26:04.000 That's more like it.
01:26:05.000 That's how I remember him.
01:26:06.000 Growing up, watching TV, I remember him.
01:26:08.000 So he would make your wish come true.
01:26:10.000 So if you wanted to meet an athlete or you wanted to meet a race car driver, you would write him a letter.
01:26:16.000 You'd say, Dear Jimmy, I'm a poor kid in Middlesbrough, which is a place in England.
01:26:23.000 And I always wanted to meet James Hunt.
01:26:26.000 He would make that happen.
01:26:27.000 He's like, Jim will fix it.
01:26:29.000 That was his letter.
01:26:30.000 Jim will fix it.
01:26:31.000 We had Louis Theroux on the podcast.
01:26:35.000 The documentarian from England.
01:26:38.000 Fantastic guy.
01:26:38.000 Have you ever seen his documentaries?
01:26:39.000 No.
01:26:40.000 Or maybe I have.
01:26:41.000 I don't think so.
01:26:41.000 He followed that guy.
01:26:42.000 He hung out with that guy for days and interviewed him several, several times and then got to the point of relationships and girlfriends.
01:26:48.000 And, you know, it was really creepy because he was basically saying, like, one?
01:26:52.000 A single one?
01:26:53.000 Like, no, never.
01:26:54.000 You know?
01:26:54.000 Never.
01:26:55.000 Never had a girlfriend have friends that are girls, you know?
01:26:58.000 And he was just sort of skirting around the issue and he's sitting there with a cigar.
01:27:02.000 Yeah, he always smoked cigars.
01:27:04.000 That's right.
01:27:04.000 His legs cross in that strange praying mantis position that older dudes that have had a lot of atrophy of their thigh muscles feel super comfortable bending their legs in that way.
01:27:14.000 And he's there with his little foot dangling and he's talking about he's never had one girl.
01:27:19.000 And just counting down the minutes until you can touch another kid.
01:27:22.000 You know how you get meat sweats after you eat at Rootscrisp?
01:27:27.000 He's getting meat sweats, thinking about kids, just waiting for this fucking...
01:27:31.000 He's got a million kids on his phone, he's ready to text.
01:27:33.000 The second this guy leaves, the door blows open in a wave of kids.
01:27:36.000 He sends one giant mass text to every kid on his phone.
01:27:40.000 What was weird, though, at the time, you would see him, right?
01:27:43.000 You would see him.
01:27:43.000 Smiley.
01:27:44.000 He would get all physical with the kids and stuff.
01:27:46.000 You would see him hugging them and nobody raised a question or an eyebrow.
01:27:50.000 He used to put them on his lap.
01:27:51.000 Yeah, on his lap and everything.
01:27:52.000 You people are fucked up.
01:27:54.000 I agree.
01:27:55.000 That was messed up.
01:27:56.000 What happened was the guy had become, according to Louis Theroux, the guy had become a huge celebrity and was almost untouchable because he was so loved.
01:28:03.000 And he had all these charitable organizations.
01:28:05.000 And that's the same way Sandusky hid his pedophilia was through charitable organizations.
01:28:10.000 Do charities for kids that didn't have families, kids who were injured, kids who were sick.
01:28:14.000 Kids who had no one to talk to.
01:28:15.000 Michael Jackson was the same thing.
01:28:17.000 Michael Jackson would work with a lot of kids that had terminal illnesses.
01:28:20.000 Which is the darkest shit ever.
01:28:23.000 Because you know that he was praying those kids didn't recover.
01:28:28.000 No.
01:28:28.000 In the back of his head, he was like, please die.
01:28:33.000 Please die with your secrets.
01:28:35.000 Billy doesn't want to talk to you right now.
01:28:37.000 But he's talking crazy.
01:28:39.000 He's talking about werewolves, fairies.
01:28:42.000 I think he's just making shit up.
01:28:43.000 Go ahead, talk to him.
01:28:44.000 He must be at the end.
01:28:45.000 He's not lucid.
01:28:47.000 I don't know.
01:28:47.000 He's making things up and I don't understand.
01:28:49.000 I was in the room with him the whole time.
01:28:51.000 There was no fairies.
01:28:55.000 Well, okay, so it's not a good idea to have your teenage kid hang around with a grown dude, basically.
01:29:02.000 No, well, it depends on the grown dude.
01:29:04.000 I mean, look, there's a lot of guys.
01:29:05.000 If it's a grown dude who doesn't like to touch kids' dicks.
01:29:08.000 Exactly.
01:29:09.000 That's a good filter.
01:29:11.000 Start there, work backwards.
01:29:12.000 When I was 19 or 20, I used to take my buddy's brother, who was like 13, fishing.
01:29:20.000 I never fucked him once.
01:29:21.000 No, but you were only 19. I'm talking about like a 70-year-old.
01:29:25.000 He's a fucking good kid, and he likes to fish, and I do too.
01:29:28.000 And you just left him hanging like that?
01:29:29.000 Just because I was way older than I was seven or eight years older than him.
01:29:33.000 We went fishing together.
01:29:34.000 I brought him home.
01:29:35.000 We had a great time.
01:29:36.000 Nobody got touched.
01:29:38.000 You can have a little friend.
01:29:40.000 I know how hard that is to avoid.
01:29:41.000 It wasn't hard.
01:29:42.000 It was very easy.
01:29:43.000 Not fishing for sharks, right?
01:29:44.000 I don't have those instincts anymore.
01:29:45.000 Not fishing for sharks.
01:29:47.000 Yeah.
01:29:48.000 Not fishing for sharks.
01:29:48.000 No, we were freshwater fishing.
01:29:50.000 Because I told you what happened.
01:29:51.000 But I would fish for sharks.
01:29:51.000 With guns, harpoons.
01:29:53.000 Nope.
01:29:53.000 I would use everything possible to fish for sharks.
01:29:55.000 Those fins do not make your wang bigger.
01:29:58.000 They do not.
01:29:58.000 I'm not talking about fins.
01:29:59.000 I'm talking about killing sharks.
01:30:00.000 See, listen.
01:30:01.000 You've got a thing for sharks, dude.
01:30:02.000 We need to talk about this on the podcast.
01:30:04.000 Just because your nickname is Sharky.
01:30:06.000 Okay?
01:30:06.000 Yes.
01:30:06.000 What if your nickname was Cocky?
01:30:08.000 Would you be running around trying to save dicks?
01:30:10.000 I'd just say I was good at pool.
01:30:11.000 Trying to stop circumcision.
01:30:12.000 This company would be called Cockworks.
01:30:13.000 Cockworks.
01:30:16.000 He's standing there.
01:30:18.000 Best Porsche mechanic in the world.
01:30:20.000 Standing there.
01:30:20.000 No jobs.
01:30:21.000 Looking on the street left and right.
01:30:23.000 Maybe we need to change our phone number.
01:30:26.000 1-800-CAR. Car's like faster than Formula One cars, but it's got badges all over it.
01:30:31.000 With dicks on them.
01:30:32.000 Nobody wants it.
01:30:33.000 You know how bad the Porsche GT3 RS logos are, the little stickers all over the bars?
01:30:38.000 Oh, there's a terrible thing.
01:30:38.000 His would be even worse.
01:30:39.000 It'd be just jizz.
01:30:40.000 Just veiny.
01:30:41.000 Just big dicks.
01:30:42.000 Big dicks and spooch.
01:30:43.000 Big orange dicks.
01:30:45.000 And the spooch should be going forward, which doesn't even make any sense.
01:30:48.000 The car's driving for the spooch should be maybe going backwards like an exhaust.
01:30:51.000 Yeah, it's...
01:30:52.000 Jet the car into the proper direction.
01:30:54.000 I'm going to get you a 118-scale GT3 and hand-painted fucking cockworks.
01:30:59.000 Yes.
01:30:59.000 Yes.
01:31:00.000 We want that.
01:31:01.000 Listen, sharks suck, okay?
01:31:02.000 I know they're necessary.
01:31:03.000 And when I say this, so many people are like, you're so fucking ignorant and closed mind.
01:31:07.000 I'll get these tweets.
01:31:08.000 You need to relax.
01:31:09.000 First of all, I don't believe the fucking thing I'm saying right now.
01:31:12.000 I'm not in court.
01:31:14.000 I'm not giving an affidavit.
01:31:15.000 I'm not teaching the children.
01:31:16.000 This is what I'm saying.
01:31:17.000 Fuck sharks.
01:31:18.000 And I'm saying if I had a grenade and it was attached to a spear, I'd stuff it right into a shark's dick and blow him right out of the water just in the chance that maybe he could bite somebody that I love.
01:31:27.000 How about that?
01:31:27.000 Not really.
01:31:29.000 How about that?
01:31:30.000 Not really.
01:31:30.000 It's cold as ice.
01:31:31.000 That's how I roll.
01:31:33.000 When it comes to the ocean, the ocean can all suck my dick.
01:31:36.000 This is what I want to do with the ocean.
01:31:38.000 I want to take parts of it and net it in and then throw in shit that can grow that I can eat later.
01:31:42.000 Just keep it trapped and then when I want it, I scoop it up with nets.
01:31:46.000 That's all I care about fish.
01:31:47.000 I give zero fucks about fish.
01:31:49.000 Every fish that's ever lived can go, fuck its mother.
01:31:52.000 I don't care.
01:31:53.000 What fish touched you?
01:31:54.000 Nothing.
01:31:54.000 Nothing.
01:31:55.000 I'm on team people.
01:31:56.000 I'm not into fish.
01:31:57.000 Did a grouper put his mouth on you?
01:31:59.000 This is all I have to say.
01:32:00.000 If you're a person, okay, and you have a pet fish and it dies and you cry, you're a fucking silly bitch.
01:32:06.000 That fish didn't know you were alive.
01:32:08.000 It doesn't give a fuck about you.
01:32:10.000 If you drop dead in front of it, it couldn't care less.
01:32:13.000 It couldn't possibly care less.
01:32:15.000 But you're like, oh no, it was my favorite fish.
01:32:19.000 Boo!
01:32:22.000 Fuck fish.
01:32:22.000 What five-year-olds are tweeting at you about their fish?
01:32:25.000 No one, but I'm just anticipating.
01:32:27.000 I've never even had a goldfish.
01:32:30.000 I had a huge tank filled with piranhas.
01:32:33.000 Yeah?
01:32:34.000 How'd that end?
01:32:34.000 It was pretty dope.
01:32:35.000 I got rid of them.
01:32:36.000 I heard it was illegal, and I said, I just won't stand for this any longer.
01:32:40.000 Did you throw shit in the tank and all she fucking gets shredded?
01:32:44.000 Yes.
01:32:44.000 Were they red-bellied piranhas?
01:32:46.000 Redbelly or the black ones?
01:32:48.000 Which ones?
01:32:48.000 Well, I had two different kinds of piranhas.
01:32:50.000 I had redbelly piranhas and I had these other ones that were like silver.
01:32:53.000 I forgot what they were called, but they were different.
01:32:55.000 They looked a little different, but they were all ruthless.
01:32:56.000 They were like larger?
01:32:57.000 Did it ever get boring watching them shred shit?
01:32:59.000 No, they're boring when they're not shredding shit.
01:33:01.000 When they're not shredding shit, they're just murderous statues.
01:33:05.000 They'd just sit there.
01:33:06.000 And they'd just look at you and wait.
01:33:08.000 And then what you'd do is you'd go to the store and get a bag of goldfish.
01:33:12.000 That's what I would do.
01:33:12.000 And I'd bring dudes over the house to watch feeding.
01:33:15.000 Popcorn?
01:33:16.000 Yeah.
01:33:16.000 I was young and single, man.
01:33:18.000 I'd have my friends over.
01:33:19.000 I'd be like, dude, dude, dude, tonight's feeding time.
01:33:21.000 Come on over.
01:33:21.000 And I would go get a giant bag of goldfish and unleash it.
01:33:25.000 And at one point in time, I think, I don't know how many piranhas I had, but it was more than one.
01:33:29.000 And it was a fucking rampage.
01:33:32.000 Ever seen Piranha's Mate?
01:33:33.000 No.
01:33:34.000 What I would do is I would not feed them for several days.
01:33:39.000 Oh, like the bull technique.
01:33:40.000 You've got to time it right.
01:33:41.000 Because if you time it wrong, they eat each other.
01:33:44.000 They'll find the one who is the weakest.
01:33:47.000 You don't want to feed them every day, but you want to feed them every few days.
01:33:51.000 The key is don't get them to worry.
01:33:54.000 About when their next meal comes.
01:33:55.000 Just get it so that they're hungry.
01:33:56.000 And then you put the goldfish in.
01:33:58.000 And you just watch nature.
01:33:59.000 Do the whole water just turn red?
01:34:00.000 No, no, no, no.
01:34:01.000 They cut them in half.
01:34:03.000 They swim in just one bite.
01:34:05.000 And then you'll see the tail try to swim away by itself.
01:34:07.000 And then the other one will take and swallow the tail in one bite.
01:34:10.000 And they were just dissecting goldfish in midair.
01:34:14.000 That's fucking crazy.
01:34:16.000 Cutting them in half.
01:34:16.000 Yeah, and they don't touch each other at all, right?
01:34:19.000 Oh, wrong!
01:34:20.000 They would leave at the end of feeding with chunks missing from their faces.
01:34:25.000 Really?
01:34:25.000 Because they would bite each other's faces in the middle of these mad...
01:34:28.000 Maybe it was just yours.
01:34:29.000 Maybe it was just your ones.
01:34:30.000 No, no, no.
01:34:31.000 Are there YouTube videos of this?
01:34:33.000 Do people have tank cams and shit?
01:34:35.000 I'm sure.
01:34:35.000 I'm sure people have it.
01:34:37.000 That's the rest of my night.
01:34:38.000 The whole key...
01:34:40.000 Watching a piranha feed was just getting it hungry.
01:34:42.000 Because if I fed them every day, I found out that they wouldn't even feed right away.
01:34:47.000 I'd pour the goldfish in there, and they'd look at them like, later.
01:34:50.000 I had a fucking...
01:34:51.000 When I was a kid, I had a turtle, like a whatever turtle, and you'd feed it goldfish.
01:34:55.000 Those are ruthless.
01:34:56.000 Are they?
01:34:57.000 Mine was all right.
01:34:58.000 Dude, turtles are more ruthless than piranhas.
01:35:01.000 They nip your little fingers and stuff on them.
01:35:03.000 Well, this one, one goldfish that was a feeder fish survived two fucking years.
01:35:08.000 Lived with the turtle in the tank.
01:35:10.000 Endless rounds of other fish.
01:35:11.000 This one little tiny goldfish.
01:35:13.000 They just were friends.
01:35:14.000 It was like...
01:35:15.000 So did your piranhas die or did you cry?
01:35:16.000 No, I got rid of the piranhas.
01:35:18.000 You got rid of them?
01:35:18.000 What do you do when you get rid of a piranha?
01:35:19.000 Yeah, how do you do that?
01:35:20.000 I call the guy.
01:35:21.000 What guy?
01:35:21.000 This was a long time ago.
01:35:22.000 This was decades ago and far past the...
01:35:26.000 It was in another country probably.
01:35:27.000 The legal...
01:35:27.000 What is the fucking...
01:35:28.000 L.A. River?
01:35:29.000 Statue of Libertations.
01:35:29.000 Statue of Libertations.
01:35:30.000 Oh, that, that, yeah.
01:35:31.000 Legal Zoom.
01:35:31.000 What it is is you...
01:35:32.000 If you...
01:35:34.000 With an animal like that, first of all, the number one responsibility is to make sure it doesn't get out somewhere.
01:35:39.000 And that's where assholes have released these fucking things into other areas, and that's why they're illegal.
01:35:44.000 In Florida, after Hurricane Andrew, all those pet stores that had pythons and all those other fish and stuff, that's all infested all of Florida.
01:35:52.000 You know, they like to blame it on that, but it's also just white trash douchebag.
01:35:55.000 It's also Florida.
01:35:56.000 Florida's the worst fucking place on Earth.
01:35:58.000 It's not really America.
01:36:00.000 I have been there, and it wasn't again.
01:36:01.000 I wouldn't mind letting them leave.
01:36:02.000 They want to.
01:36:03.000 I know they want to.
01:36:04.000 They can go.
01:36:05.000 It's okay.
01:36:05.000 They can get their shit together, like any fucked up uncle.
01:36:07.000 It's like, I hope he finds ayahuasca, gets into therapy, does MDMA, fucking pulls himself out of the ashes like the phoenix he is.
01:36:16.000 But the reality is, a giant percentage of Florida is filled with fucking idiots.
01:36:20.000 There's a lot of cool people in Florida.
01:36:21.000 I have friends in Florida.
01:36:23.000 Nothing wrong with Florida as a whole, but there's a lot of...
01:36:26.000 My parents live in Florida.
01:36:27.000 Yeah, everyone goes to retire there, huh?
01:36:29.000 Yeah, a lot of people love Florida.
01:36:30.000 There's good spots in Florida.
01:36:31.000 I love performing in Florida.
01:36:32.000 People are fun.
01:36:33.000 It's just, it's obviously not everybody, but there's a giant percentage of fucking idiots there, and they have those pythons that just, well, he got too big for the house, so I figured I'd keep him out in the backyard, and I was going to be on the fence, but I came back, he was gone!
01:36:48.000 What do you want me to do?
01:36:50.000 Now you got a fucking 20-foot-long python out there eating horses and shit.
01:36:55.000 Climbing into stables and swallowing people.
01:36:58.000 I mean, these are murderous, fucking heartless monsters from the depths of the swamps.
01:37:02.000 Yeah, and the environment's perfect for them, right?
01:37:04.000 So they grow and grow, and they've got nobody to...
01:37:06.000 No natural predators.
01:37:07.000 Yeah, they go bonkers there.
01:37:08.000 It's very dangerous.
01:37:09.000 When you introduce an animal...
01:37:11.000 Billy the exterminator, she in Florida.
01:37:11.000 Oh, well, they have python exterminators.
01:37:13.000 They even have contests, but the problem is they can't find them.
01:37:16.000 Yeah.
01:37:17.000 Like, they go out looking in the Everglades, and then they realize how big the fucking Everglades are.
01:37:21.000 They've gone on these Python contests.
01:37:22.000 Well, they do have this thing called camouflage, too, so they're good at that.
01:37:25.000 Yeah, but they're not even from that area.
01:37:27.000 You would think that their colors wouldn't be...
01:37:28.000 I guess it's good enough.
01:37:30.000 It's good enough, yeah.
01:37:31.000 But I just think it's the Everglades.
01:37:32.000 It's just so fucking dense.
01:37:33.000 Yeah, dude.
01:37:34.000 You're not finding shit out there.
01:37:35.000 And they're eating everything.
01:37:36.000 They're eating alligators.
01:37:36.000 I know.
01:37:36.000 I buried, like, three bodies out there.
01:37:37.000 You're not finding shit.
01:37:38.000 They eat alligators.
01:37:39.000 Yeah, I know.
01:37:40.000 That's freaking crazy.
01:37:41.000 That's all you have to know.
01:37:42.000 There's a video of one eating a fucking alligator.
01:37:44.000 Yeah.
01:37:44.000 A full video.
01:37:46.000 Is the alligator going to put up a fight or is it like a sleep?
01:37:48.000 No, it's fucking fighting, but it doesn't matter.
01:37:50.000 Yeah, but the problem is the more they fight, the more they constrict, right?
01:37:52.000 Yeah, pythons, what they do is they grab ahold of you and then you're heaving and you're exhaling.
01:37:58.000 Inhaling and exhaling.
01:37:59.000 And when you exhale, wham!
01:38:00.000 That's when it clamps down on you.
01:38:02.000 And then you try to breathe again and bam!
01:38:04.000 It clamps down a little.
01:38:05.000 And it just...
01:38:06.000 Cuts all the air off.
01:38:07.000 I just gave over that.
01:38:08.000 And the way it gets a hold of him, it's like, it's so ruthless and efficient.
01:38:11.000 Peruvian necktie.
01:38:12.000 Did it swallow the alligator hole?
01:38:14.000 Here it is.
01:38:14.000 There's pictures of it.
01:38:15.000 There's a video of it, Jamie.
01:38:16.000 See if you can find the video.
01:38:17.000 It's incredible.
01:38:18.000 It happened in Australia.
01:38:19.000 These people watched it all happen.
01:38:21.000 So I guess it was actually a crocodile.
01:38:22.000 It was a python, because Australia doesn't have alligators.
01:38:25.000 And crocodiles are even more dangerous.
01:38:26.000 Crocodiles are nasty.
01:38:28.000 So that's how gangster pythons are.
01:38:30.000 They're fucking crocodiles.
01:38:32.000 What a fuck.
01:38:33.000 When one eats a shark...
01:38:34.000 That's when the world will fucking stop.
01:38:36.000 Yeah, well, you know what's interesting, though?
01:38:38.000 Cats kill the snakes.
01:38:40.000 Big cats always kill snakes.
01:38:42.000 My little cat killed a fucking snake once.
01:38:44.000 It was badass.
01:38:45.000 Yeah, they can kill snakes.
01:38:46.000 They know exactly what to do.
01:38:47.000 They go right for the back of the head.
01:38:49.000 They're too fucking fast.
01:38:50.000 Look at this shit.
01:38:51.000 This is the battle.
01:38:52.000 Oh, man.
01:38:53.000 So this python has wrapped around a goddamn...
01:38:57.000 Look at the girth of that freaking python.
01:38:59.000 That is a monster python, though.
01:39:02.000 That's no joke.
01:39:03.000 And that's a small crocodile, too.
01:39:05.000 That's a baby crocodile.
01:39:06.000 Nevertheless, I say count it.
01:39:08.000 I mean, any crocodile is a crocodile.
01:39:11.000 Well, I mean, when I say little, I think they said it was four foot.
01:39:14.000 Okay, so that could bite your hand off.
01:39:16.000 Big enough that I'm not getting anywhere near my dick.
01:39:18.000 Look at that!
01:39:19.000 Oh, damn.
01:39:20.000 Look at how it's swallowing its body.
01:39:21.000 It's expanding its mouth, unhinging its jaw, and then its whole body just slowly takes it up.
01:39:27.000 Just straight up, head first.
01:39:29.000 He's BJJing the crap out of that poor little alligator.
01:39:32.000 It's such a fucking ruthless world, the world of nature.
01:39:37.000 And anybody who has a pet python is an asshole.
01:39:41.000 You're crazy.
01:39:44.000 You're keeping a monster in your house.
01:39:47.000 And the only reason why it's not killing you is because it's not big enough yet or it doesn't know that it has to or wants to.
01:39:53.000 Once it decides...
01:39:54.000 What are you going to do?
01:39:55.000 If it's 20 feet long, what the fuck are you going to do if a 20 foot long python...
01:39:59.000 Do people have 20 foot long pythons in their house?
01:40:01.000 Yes!
01:40:01.000 I guess somewhere...
01:40:02.000 Some asshole has one.
01:40:04.000 Guaranteed.
01:40:04.000 He's got some fucking patio.
01:40:06.000 They've gotten people recently in New York with tigers.
01:40:09.000 Yeah.
01:40:09.000 The fuck...
01:40:11.000 Well, there was a documentary, The Elephant in the Living Room.
01:40:13.000 Did you see it?
01:40:14.000 No.
01:40:14.000 Me neither.
01:40:15.000 I was hoping you saw it.
01:40:17.000 It's about people that keep exotic pets as, you know, exotic animals, wild animals as pets.
01:40:24.000 And it focused on that guy, I think, in Ohio, who had all these animals.
01:40:28.000 He wound up killing himself, releasing all the animals, then killing himself.
01:40:31.000 And all these lions and shit were wandering down the street, and the cops...
01:40:35.000 The cops had to kill him.
01:40:36.000 This is a small town in Ohio.
01:40:38.000 You can't call in some animal experts.
01:40:40.000 By then, you lost track of your lions.
01:40:42.000 They had to kill him on sight.
01:40:44.000 It's apparently a fascinating documentary.
01:40:47.000 It's on my must-watch list.
01:40:49.000 Elephant in the Living Room?
01:40:50.000 Yeah, Elephant in the Living Room.
01:40:51.000 It's supposed to be pretty badass.
01:40:52.000 Watch it next week or come back.
01:40:54.000 I can't believe I recommended that piece of shit.
01:40:57.000 Have you ever done that?
01:40:58.000 Recommend something sight unseen and it turns out to be fucking crap.
01:41:03.000 You know what car, I hope, getting back to cars, that they keep around is that Audi R8. They will.
01:41:10.000 That thing is a crazy car.
01:41:11.000 They've sold enough of them that they'll continue developing it.
01:41:13.000 I looked at that thing and I was like, that thing hasn't changed almost like a 911 since the moment that they created it.
01:41:18.000 It's only been five years.
01:41:21.000 You know what though?
01:41:22.000 It drives a lot better than the V10 Lamborghinis.
01:41:27.000 Does it really?
01:41:28.000 It's nicer to deal with on a daily basis too.
01:41:30.000 It has a gated shifter.
01:41:32.000 You can still get it with a stick.
01:41:33.000 It's like one of the last cars with a gated shifter.
01:41:36.000 What is it like shifting?
01:41:38.000 Just like the Ferraris.
01:41:41.000 It's a little slower doing it that way.
01:41:43.000 While shifting it that way?
01:41:44.000 Yeah, but you get click, click, click.
01:41:47.000 That metal on metal, oh, it's delicious.
01:41:50.000 Like a little slower, but a different kind of satisfaction, right?
01:41:54.000 So it goes back to that thing.
01:41:55.000 It's not about zero to 60 times.
01:41:58.000 It's about what does it do to you So, you know, when you're playing Gran Turismo, or when you're playing...
01:42:03.000 I don't play that shit.
01:42:04.000 Sorry, dude.
01:42:05.000 Outrun.
01:42:06.000 Okay, when you're playing Outrun, okay?
01:42:09.000 You put it in the automatic mode if you wanted to advance in the game.
01:42:13.000 Oh, okay, that's the game at the arcade?
01:42:15.000 Is that what you mean?
01:42:15.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:42:16.000 Okay, if you want to finish the game, quickly get over to the next level, get the better cars.
01:42:24.000 Yeah, you put it in automatic mode, right?
01:42:26.000 You would.
01:42:27.000 So it's easier.
01:42:28.000 But unless you're a paid race car driver on the track, are you really having that much more fun by just holding the steering wheel and pushing the gas pedal?
01:42:36.000 I have no problem with automatic transmissions.
01:42:39.000 I just think they should have both.
01:42:40.000 Because there's too many people that like it the other way.
01:42:43.000 There's too many people that are bemoaning the lost transmission.
01:42:45.000 Yeah, no, no, I agree.
01:42:46.000 It's got its place.
01:42:47.000 But I don't think the GT3 was...
01:42:49.000 The place.
01:42:49.000 That was like the wrong place to put that transmission.
01:42:52.000 They did make a silly argument for it because there's still some cars like a Corvette ZR1 and like a Viper that have a stick that'll beat it around a track.
01:42:59.000 Yeah.
01:43:00.000 There's also that weird thing that automotive journalists do where they go, listen, just go with the PDK. Trust me.
01:43:06.000 I've seen that a bunch of times.
01:43:08.000 The PDK's better.
01:43:09.000 We do that.
01:43:10.000 I'm guilty of that.
01:43:11.000 I've done that before.
01:43:12.000 But what is that?
01:43:12.000 Where does that come from?
01:43:13.000 It was.
01:43:13.000 It was because Porsche's seven-speed shifter sucks.
01:43:16.000 Oh, right.
01:43:18.000 I'd rather have a stick than paddles, but if the shifter isn't any good, there's sort of no point.
01:43:22.000 But you're being honest about that.
01:43:24.000 I think a lot of people are not honest about it.
01:43:25.000 The sad thing is that's like a $200 fix, like in our parts.
01:43:29.000 Is it really?
01:43:29.000 To make a shitty Carrera shifter.
01:43:32.000 Just bushings?
01:43:33.000 Yeah, like linkages and bushings.
01:43:35.000 So you could take one of those seven speeds and make it a good shifter?
01:43:38.000 Yeah, I haven't done the seven speeds, but the six speeds before it, you know, like a Carrera S or a turbo that felt a little sloppy, you know, it didn't feel as good as your GT3. Didn't click into place?
01:43:48.000 Yeah.
01:43:49.000 But the, um, so what would you do about that then?
01:43:52.000 You'd take the shifter out, you'd take the console out.
01:43:54.000 So the seven speeds that they have now in the 991s, do you think you could upgrade that?
01:43:58.000 Yeah, you can do those.
01:43:58.000 You can fix those too.
01:43:59.000 What would you have to do?
01:44:00.000 Just take the console out, take the shifter out.
01:44:02.000 There's an American company, B&M. They make shifters.
01:44:09.000 I think you can retrofit some of the linkages and stuff too from the older cars.
01:44:14.000 $25,000.
01:44:15.000 No, no, no.
01:44:18.000 It's too bad you couldn't fit it with a six-speed.
01:44:22.000 I don't know why you need seven gears anyway.
01:44:27.000 Why don't you just make nine?
01:44:28.000 Well, Porsches wind pretty high, so that 7th is really, really just for a road trip.
01:44:36.000 If you're going to just get on the highway and drive for five hours, just stick the fucking thing in 7th, and you'll get four or five miles a gallon better.
01:44:43.000 Yeah, I get that, but still.
01:44:44.000 I think they really wanted to hit that 30 miles a gallon number in Carrera.
01:44:48.000 Maybe they should have a button overdrive.
01:44:51.000 Like old school, like one of those foot buttons?
01:44:54.000 Just a little button on the side that's like a road.
01:44:56.000 Did your Cuda have one of those?
01:44:58.000 Yes.
01:44:59.000 Every year had an overdrive.
01:45:02.000 That was another thing I didn't want in that car.
01:45:04.000 I didn't want it to be an automatic.
01:45:06.000 And they were like, it has to be an automatic.
01:45:07.000 I'm like...
01:45:07.000 You're like, why?
01:45:09.000 You're going to have a 1970 Barracuda in an automatic.
01:45:12.000 What color was that car?
01:45:13.000 Silver.
01:45:13.000 That was another thing they argued with me about.
01:45:15.000 They wanted to paint it up like a Spanish hooker.
01:45:17.000 I had to argue with them.
01:45:19.000 They wanted to put three different colors on it.
01:45:20.000 I was like, wait a minute, what do you want?
01:45:23.000 And then ghosted angels and flames and stuff.
01:45:25.000 No, it was going to be silver on the bottom, and then it was going to be black, and then it was going to be red.
01:45:31.000 Silver, red, and then black, black on the hood, like the old AR hoods.
01:45:34.000 Because Chip Foose has this idea of these designs, and he gets them in his head, and then that's what he wants to do.
01:45:40.000 But then I saw it stripped down when they were sanding the body down.
01:45:44.000 It was all silver.
01:45:45.000 And I was like, oh, that has to be all silver.
01:45:48.000 I'm like, I've never seen a silver barracuda.
01:45:49.000 I want to see a silver barracuda.
01:45:50.000 And I was like, let's do it on silver.
01:45:52.000 And oh my god, I had to fucking duke it out with those guys.
01:45:55.000 You're making a mistake.
01:45:56.000 I'm like, how am I making a mistake?
01:45:58.000 Did you pay for that?
01:45:59.000 Oh yeah.
01:46:00.000 Then the answer is, fuck you, it's my money.
01:46:02.000 It's a lot of money, man, and it wasn't worth it.
01:46:04.000 In the long run, it was a car that was fun to look at.
01:46:08.000 And interesting, and they did a great job building it, don't get me wrong, but...
01:46:11.000 How long did it take?
01:46:12.000 It's just a giant headache.
01:46:14.000 It was a lowered car, so the back wheel well was tubbed, and it was like four inches off the ground, so it was bottoming out everywhere.
01:46:22.000 It's a beautiful-looking thing.
01:46:23.000 That is a very pretty car.
01:46:26.000 Very pretty.
01:46:26.000 This is when I decided to get rid of it.
01:46:28.000 I was on the highway.
01:46:31.000 I was coming home, and I was going about normal speed, highway speed, 60, 70 miles an hour, and I got off the highway.
01:46:38.000 15 minutes later, I'm at my house, and I pull into my driveway, and the car leans over to the right, and the suspension had fallen off.
01:46:46.000 No, the suspension had fallen off of the frame in my driveway.
01:46:50.000 I was just on the highway 15 minutes ago, going 70 miles an hour.
01:46:54.000 So I said, We're done here.
01:46:56.000 I said, that's it.
01:46:57.000 So I called up Steve Stroop.
01:46:59.000 You know Steve Stroop?
01:47:00.000 Pure Vision.
01:47:01.000 Great guy.
01:47:02.000 Makes awesome cars.
01:47:03.000 Had him totally fix everything to the T. Make sure everything's in order.
01:47:07.000 Because maybe I'll drive it again.
01:47:09.000 Maybe I won't.
01:47:09.000 And then I let it sit around for a year.
01:47:11.000 And then I just got rid of it.
01:47:12.000 I just didn't drive it again after that.
01:47:13.000 I was like, I don't trust it.
01:47:14.000 I don't want to trust it.
01:47:15.000 Once you lose trust in a car and stuff, like with your 996 Turbo, if you lose trust, just let it go, man.
01:47:20.000 Lemon it.
01:47:21.000 It also wasn't the car for me, because I'm not a show car guy.
01:47:25.000 I wanted a car that I could drive places.
01:47:27.000 I could shut it off and leave it there and then drive it again.
01:47:29.000 No, that thing you've got to be worried about all the time.
01:47:31.000 It was a disaster.
01:47:31.000 I totally approve of your curves and the roads that you go on.
01:47:35.000 I like that.
01:47:36.000 That's our style up there in NorCal.
01:47:38.000 That's what we like, too.
01:47:39.000 Well, I got rid of that, and then I got a GT3 with the money.
01:47:41.000 That's what I did.
01:47:42.000 And then I was like, oh, it's so much better.
01:47:43.000 You're like, oh, this thing works.
01:47:45.000 Oh, it's so much better, you know?
01:47:47.000 I have to drive a lot of this home-built shit, you know what I mean?
01:47:52.000 Literally, I drove a car a couple weeks ago that was seriously built by a fucking redneck by himself over the course of six years.
01:48:04.000 It was a 1975 Toyota Corolla.
01:48:08.000 Oh my god.
01:48:34.000 Yeah.
01:48:35.000 From our side, there's a lot of pressure.
01:48:38.000 Like you said, on Top Gear, that Dutch car manufacturer, whatever the hell, Zenvo.
01:48:43.000 Oh, they're Danish.
01:48:44.000 Sorry, Danish.
01:48:45.000 Yeah, right.
01:48:47.000 With all the coverage and press we get, we better make sure the car is dialed like we tested before.
01:48:53.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:48:53.000 Car's going to work, man.
01:48:53.000 Because I know that shit blows up live.
01:48:57.000 That's not going to be cool.
01:48:57.000 Orlando driving it, it blows up.
01:48:59.000 I just found out that XV Motorsports, they stopped making those dope challengers.
01:49:04.000 Those crazy challengers.
01:49:06.000 They were charging $200,000 for something that wasn't worth $200,000, but...
01:49:11.000 What's it worth?
01:49:12.000 What's this?
01:49:13.000 What's that?
01:49:13.000 What's a fucking 72R-esque worth a million six?
01:49:17.000 What are these things worth these days?
01:49:19.000 What is worth what?
01:49:20.000 1.4 million is what I sold for, yeah.
01:49:22.000 If you could have a real 1970 Challenger and it actually handles well and breaks well, it might be worth $200,000.
01:49:28.000 I'd have a Superbird.
01:49:29.000 Maybe.
01:49:29.000 I love those.
01:49:30.000 But that's what I wanted.
01:49:31.000 That's what I wanted when I got that Barracuda.
01:49:34.000 I wanted a car like that.
01:49:34.000 What you ended up with was a show car.
01:49:35.000 Yeah, a show car that was just a little prissy little bitch that would whine and complain and...
01:49:41.000 Fucking shit out on me everywhere and left me stranded all these places.
01:49:44.000 Yeah, I nearly killed you.
01:49:45.000 Yeah, I did.
01:49:46.000 But I made sure that I did my due diligence and fixed it before I got rid of it.
01:49:50.000 That's very nice.
01:49:51.000 You didn't want it to happen to you.
01:49:52.000 I didn't want anybody to get sued.
01:49:54.000 Fucking sued.
01:49:55.000 You imagine you sell a car and you find out a dude racks it into a tree and it's brain dead now.
01:50:00.000 Fuck that.
01:50:00.000 I sold the car to a guy who told it the very next day.
01:50:03.000 Whoa.
01:50:04.000 Yeah.
01:50:04.000 I got cash.
01:50:06.000 Huh.
01:50:07.000 I took his cash and bought a new fucking car and said, have a nice day, sir.
01:50:11.000 Here's the spare key.
01:50:12.000 Would you like it?
01:50:12.000 What kind of car was it?
01:50:14.000 It was a Mustang.
01:50:15.000 Wow.
01:50:15.000 Was it a crazy car?
01:50:16.000 It was crazy for the time.
01:50:18.000 It was in 94 and I had a stroker motor in it.
01:50:21.000 And I mean, it was...
01:50:22.000 400 horsepower in 1997 was a lot.
01:50:25.000 Isn't it amazing?
01:50:26.000 That's what we're saying.
01:50:27.000 400 horsepower used to be insanity.
01:50:30.000 Now it's nothing.
01:50:31.000 My Corvette, when I built it in 2005, 500 horsepower was like, holy shit!
01:50:37.000 Well, this 1M that you were talking about, how much does that thing weigh?
01:50:41.000 3,500 pounds?
01:50:43.000 Fairly light.
01:50:44.000 It's about 500 pounds less than the M4, right?
01:50:47.000 The new M4 is closing in on 4 grand.
01:50:51.000 Is it that much?
01:50:52.000 It's heavy.
01:50:53.000 Yeah, there was a big article there.
01:50:54.000 Oh, it's the sedan.
01:50:55.000 Yeah, it probably is.
01:50:56.000 No, no, no.
01:50:56.000 The M4 is the coupe.
01:50:58.000 Who can keep this shit straight?
01:51:00.000 BMW fucked up.
01:51:01.000 You know, the other thing, too, is remember your 996 Turbo, right?
01:51:04.000 So I was telling you my buddies in Arizona that worked with us on all this stuff.
01:51:08.000 Um, they have a, you know, 1600 horsepower 997 turbo, which is essentially the same engine, right?
01:51:14.000 It has a parachute on the back.
01:51:15.000 It's essentially a time machine.
01:51:16.000 Yeah, he drove it.
01:51:17.000 It's just crazy, right?
01:51:18.000 So, in that same car.
01:51:20.000 I mean, they drive those things so fast at those mile events that, you know, when they get to like 230, 240 miles an hour, the roof caves in.
01:51:27.000 Yeah.
01:51:27.000 You know, the sunroof just, it just implodes.
01:51:29.000 When I drove it, I hit like, I hit I think 175 or 180 and the windows started peeling out away from the door frames.
01:51:36.000 Oh my god.
01:51:37.000 Yeah, when you see like a red 997 turbo.
01:51:39.000 It's like on driving.
01:51:40.000 You can't drive.
01:51:41.000 You know, you could show up somewhere now at an event with a car that's a thousand horsepower.
01:51:47.000 Yeah.
01:51:47.000 And any normal person, if anyone is still listening to this that cares about a thousand horsepower, it's amazing.
01:51:53.000 You know, and be like, pfft, well I've got 1500 horsepower.
01:51:56.000 Like, the internet has fucked it up.
01:51:58.000 Completely fucked it up.
01:51:59.000 How has the internet fucked it up?
01:52:00.000 Because the internet, you can just Google and get into that, you know, you can see some fucking psycho in Dubai who's got some Supra with 1500 horsepower, and all of a sudden that has resets your barometer for normal.
01:52:15.000 Normal is the big numbers you see on the internet now.
01:52:18.000 Most of these people, if they rode in a 500hp car, would shit their pants.
01:52:23.000 But they see on the internet some psycho with a dyno car, you know, that's putting down 1,500 and they go, If yours doesn't make $1,500, it ain't shit.
01:52:32.000 Isn't that interesting when it comes to a lot of fans of cars that can't afford those cars?
01:52:37.000 That it gets to...
01:52:38.000 Haterade, yeah.
01:52:38.000 Yeah, but it also gets to that weird thing like you're shitting on a car that you can't afford.
01:52:42.000 You don't even know what the fuck it would be like to drive the bronze medalist to this three.
01:52:48.000 You're dealing with an insane demon of a car.
01:52:51.000 You're talking about, like, the Evo top ten, when they do the top ten of the best supercars of the year, or the best sports cars, whatever, performance cars is their category.
01:53:00.000 The shittiest one is still pretty fucking good.
01:53:02.000 These are demonic vehicles.
01:53:05.000 You're dealing with things that defy logic.
01:53:07.000 There's people that argue with us and we'll go film a car on the press launch.
01:53:15.000 The car won't be in showrooms for six months.
01:53:18.000 And we'll go film this car months before it comes out.
01:53:21.000 And people will argue about how good or bad it is.
01:53:25.000 Literally, there's no possible way that they actually have this information.
01:53:29.000 It's not possible.
01:53:30.000 The transmission has issues.
01:53:32.000 I've heard from the guys that work at the factory.
01:53:33.000 You don't know fucking shit.
01:53:35.000 I know an insider.
01:53:36.000 We don't even know shit if we just drove it.
01:53:38.000 A lot of people that haven't driven a Carrera GT before have all these opinions about it being super dangerous.
01:53:45.000 And it's like, no, it's not.
01:53:47.000 It's how you drive it and also what tires you have.
01:53:50.000 I mean...
01:53:50.000 It's known for being a little hairy.
01:53:52.000 That's part of its appeal.
01:53:53.000 It's part of the appeal.
01:53:54.000 Yeah.
01:53:54.000 Well, you guys were enlightening me about the Paul Walker car that killed him and his friend, that they were nine-year-old tires.
01:54:02.000 Yeah.
01:54:03.000 So what happens when you have a collector car like that, a car that is a top-tier...
01:54:07.000 You'll see a lot of these Ferrarianzos, these top-tier collector cars where people will buy them and not put many miles on them.
01:54:14.000 So Roger, who was driving the car when Roger and Paul died...
01:54:19.000 Bought this car for his collection.
01:54:21.000 He has a huge collection of cars.
01:54:23.000 Bought this car for his collection.
01:54:24.000 It had been sitting there.
01:54:25.000 He was going to put tires on it.
01:54:27.000 But Paul was like, oh, let me just go for a ride around the block.
01:54:31.000 And they just went for a ride around the block.
01:54:33.000 But because rubber in tires, whether you drive on them or not, will become very hard over time.
01:54:38.000 So it might look like a nice tire with tread.
01:54:42.000 It looks more or less like a brand new tire.
01:54:44.000 But that rubber has been slowly hardening and it...
01:54:48.000 And a tire's contact patch with the ground is partially about the tread pattern, but more importantly, it's a chemical bond with tarmac.
01:54:56.000 And so, as the tire ages, that becomes much less effective, you lose traction.
01:55:01.000 And also, like, tires from the 2004 era, you know, they weren't as good as they are now.
01:55:06.000 The Michelins that they would have put on now are way, way grippier, stickier.
01:55:09.000 Yeah, cup tires, these GT3 cup tires that are in the RSs.
01:55:14.000 They're great.
01:55:14.000 They're insane.
01:55:15.000 Once they get hot, they're sticky.
01:55:18.000 And that's the other thing that folks need to understand if you're driving a car.
01:55:23.000 Don't skimp on tires, ever.
01:55:24.000 Well, also, you can't just drive it fast right away.
01:55:27.000 You can't just take your car, start it out of your driveway, go right to the racetrack, and just fucking...
01:55:31.000 You're laughing.
01:55:32.000 But see, a lot of people would go, what's so funny?
01:55:35.000 Yeah.
01:55:36.000 The closer to a racing tire it is, the more heat you got to get.
01:55:39.000 So what do you do if you go to, if you're a guy and it's your first day on a track, and see if you got a GT3? Ever see a Formula One race, that lap right before they start?
01:55:48.000 What they do is, they're going about 10 miles an hour, 10 to 20 miles an hour, and they're going left and right, left and right.
01:55:54.000 And they're just heating up the tires.
01:55:54.000 They're just heating up the tires, yeah.
01:55:55.000 Ah.
01:55:55.000 Ah, that's smart.
01:55:56.000 And that's what you do.
01:55:58.000 You don't have to do that, because then you look like you're a FOSS driver, and that's kind of stupid.
01:56:02.000 Why can't they put magnets all around the tires, all around the cars itself, all around the bumpers, and put magnets on all the other cars, too?
01:56:09.000 That way, when they get near each other, they never actually touch.
01:56:13.000 Yeah, that'd be nice.
01:56:14.000 They just...
01:56:15.000 Super powered magnets.
01:56:16.000 Like bumper bowling, but on a racetrack.
01:56:18.000 And have the magnets powered by the same electrical engine that does like the 918s.
01:56:22.000 Well, you know, like when you were driving on your road today, for example, right?
01:56:25.000 You kind of eased into it.
01:56:26.000 You didn't go like balls out.
01:56:28.000 Well, you didn't go balls out anyway, but you know what I mean.
01:56:30.000 You went a steady pace, and then you kind of went faster and faster, right?
01:56:34.000 You let some heat in the tires.
01:56:36.000 You let things get settled.
01:56:38.000 You don't just go like 10 tenths.
01:56:39.000 Those are always the guys that crash on the first corner of a track on their first day.
01:56:43.000 Yeah, well, I'm not a great driver, but I know how to drive a car.
01:56:46.000 And the good thing is that I grew up in Boston, so I drove on snowy weather all the time.
01:56:52.000 Boston has the shittiest roads, man.
01:56:55.000 They're rough.
01:56:55.000 The shittiest roads, and I was a newspaper delivery guy for like five years.
01:56:58.000 So I drove 365 days a year.
01:57:02.000 I drove every fucking day.
01:57:03.000 That's crazy.
01:57:04.000 Snowing, raining, didn't matter.
01:57:05.000 Same loop, over and over?
01:57:06.000 Over and over and over, yeah.
01:57:07.000 Car control.
01:57:08.000 Up the hills and down, sliding into intersections.
01:57:10.000 Woo!
01:57:11.000 Did you do the over-the-roof toss?
01:57:13.000 Yep, I did over-the-roof toss.
01:57:15.000 Did you break any windows?
01:57:15.000 I broke everything.
01:57:16.000 I would roll down the pasture window.
01:57:19.000 I could huck it that way.
01:57:20.000 I was good with that.
01:57:21.000 I would occasionally go with the loop, the skyhook.
01:57:23.000 But left-handed, man.
01:57:25.000 If I could drive down the street, it was early in the morning, and I knew no cars were coming in the other direction, I would just go in the left lane and just fucking whip them left, right.
01:57:33.000 I have a good route.
01:57:35.000 As long as they're in plastic, they're going to be fine.
01:57:37.000 You fold them up real quick, toss them.
01:57:39.000 Would you drive vans?
01:57:41.000 Yeah.
01:57:41.000 You had to bag and then toss?
01:57:43.000 Yeah.
01:57:43.000 What you do is you hang the plastic bags from your rearview mirror.
01:57:46.000 So you got a rearview mirror.
01:57:47.000 You tie the plastic bags off.
01:57:49.000 It's on like this cardboard strip.
01:57:50.000 And there's like a sheet of plastic bags.
01:57:53.000 Like there might be like 50 or 100 bags, right?
01:57:55.000 Yeah.
01:57:55.000 And so then the newspapers are stacked up on your passenger seat.
01:57:58.000 And as you're driving, you got to learn how to steer with your knees because you're going real slow.
01:58:01.000 You take the newspaper.
01:58:02.000 You grab it.
01:58:03.000 Fump, fump.
01:58:04.000 That's the fold.
01:58:05.000 Yeah.
01:58:05.000 One left, one right, back.
01:58:07.000 Bam!
01:58:07.000 I got it.
01:58:08.000 Now it's like a third of a newspaper.
01:58:10.000 Stuff it in that bag.
01:58:11.000 Shroom!
01:58:12.000 Out the window.
01:58:13.000 And I'm telling you, I'm like, boom, boom, whap, boom.
01:58:16.000 Look at this muscle memory.
01:58:18.000 The muscle memory is still going right now.
01:58:19.000 And I'd get pissed if I was fucking around with this.
01:58:22.000 Oh, you bitch.
01:58:23.000 And then I had to hit the brakes and...
01:58:25.000 And you didn't have our compound tires on that bad boy, did you?
01:58:27.000 No, no, no.
01:58:28.000 After a while, I invested in a gigantic cargo van with no windows.
01:58:32.000 It was like one of those free candy vans.
01:58:34.000 Oh, a rape van, huh?
01:58:35.000 Because I could pack that bitch with newspapers.
01:58:37.000 I got this van for like 500 bucks.
01:58:39.000 You never had to go re-up.
01:58:40.000 Dude, I could get a thousand newspapers on Sunday in this van.
01:58:44.000 It was a good Sunday.
01:58:46.000 Sometimes, you know...
01:58:48.000 It wouldn't really be a thousand.
01:58:50.000 I think the most I had was 450 clients.
01:58:53.000 That was the most I ever had.
01:58:54.000 It would take hours, but it was too much.
01:58:56.000 Because I was doing the Boston Herald, the Boston Globe, and the New York Times.
01:58:59.000 I had three routes at the same time.
01:59:02.000 Yeah.
01:59:03.000 Damn, that's awesome.
01:59:03.000 So, I was driving in the fucking snow daily, son.
01:59:06.000 And you said it was hard for me to drive with a camera right in front of my face.
01:59:09.000 Holding newspapers while driving with your knees sounds just as hard.
01:59:12.000 Yeah, but there's no one on the road.
01:59:13.000 Especially as high as you probably were.
01:59:14.000 No, no, no, I was sober.
01:59:15.000 And there was no one on the road.
01:59:16.000 It was 5 o'clock in the morning.
01:59:17.000 No more than a foot away from the car in front.
01:59:20.000 That was pretty skillful, dude.
01:59:21.000 Dude, you were driving.
01:59:22.000 You were.
01:59:22.000 It was very impressive.
01:59:23.000 Very good.
01:59:24.000 In the rain, a foot away from a fucking van in front of you.
01:59:27.000 I had Joe come with me in the car.
01:59:29.000 I was like, yo, come check out what we do.
01:59:31.000 And I'm driving his car, him in the passenger seat, Zach is driving my van, and we're fucking, you know, that's what we do, is I have to tailgate the van.
01:59:41.000 It's ridiculous how close he gets.
01:59:42.000 I mean, I know you're really good at driving.
01:59:44.000 I was with him.
01:59:44.000 No, that's good.
01:59:45.000 Whoa.
01:59:46.000 It's nerve-wracking.
01:59:47.000 I mean, I know you guys have it down to a science.
01:59:49.000 You know what the fuck you're doing when you're filming this.
01:59:50.000 We do, yeah.
01:59:50.000 We bug people out whenever they see us do it.
01:59:54.000 They're like, wait a minute.
01:59:56.000 The videos don't look nearly this sketchy.
02:00:00.000 You should have seen we did one at night, and we had the van with lights, suction cup to the back of the van, a Running gas generator in the back of the van, while doing that, and I'm driving an Aston...
02:00:13.000 A running gas generator in the van while you're driving?
02:00:16.000 In the van.
02:00:16.000 And it's like on fire?
02:00:17.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:00:18.000 That is crazy!
02:00:19.000 And then I'm driving behind the van, directly into these 400 watt lights in an Aston Martin a foot off the bumper at fucking night.
02:00:29.000 Oh my god, that is ridiculous.
02:00:31.000 It's really sketchy.
02:00:32.000 No permits for this?
02:00:33.000 No insurance?
02:00:34.000 Shhh!
02:00:34.000 Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly.
02:00:35.000 Allegedly no permits.
02:00:36.000 Allegedly we're testing equipment.
02:00:38.000 You see you're learning.
02:00:40.000 We just happen to have cameras on while we're testing said equipment.
02:00:42.000 We have to have proof of our testing in order to get paid.
02:00:45.000 We happen to have $400,000 in Porsches and a TV celebrity.
02:00:49.000 We're just testing equipment.
02:00:53.000 Just screaming.
02:00:54.000 This car that he's got, this 4.1 liter, 560 horsepower, is that what it is?
02:01:00.000 540, but...
02:01:00.000 540, whatever the fuck it is.
02:01:02.000 It's a lot.
02:01:03.000 It's a screaming monster.
02:01:06.000 And you hear it literally three quarters of a mile away.
02:01:09.000 It's really far.
02:01:10.000 Three quarters of a mile away.
02:01:12.000 Alex and I were waiting while you were going on your first wild ride.
02:01:16.000 Yep.
02:01:17.000 And we were like, you hear it?
02:01:18.000 You hear it?
02:01:18.000 And you were nowhere near us!
02:01:20.000 Yeah!
02:01:24.000 Wow, that's really good.
02:01:26.000 That's a great GT3. It was so loud, dude.
02:01:29.000 That really is.
02:01:29.000 It was rounding corners and shit.
02:01:31.000 I've got a GT3 voice now.
02:01:32.000 That was really good.
02:01:33.000 That was a dope fucking car, man.
02:01:35.000 Do you make that noise while you're driving your own car?
02:01:38.000 Oh, yeah.
02:01:38.000 In the shower, you're fucking shifting and shit?
02:01:41.000 Yeah, it's like singing along.
02:01:42.000 It's like karaoke.
02:01:43.000 Do it again.
02:01:43.000 Can I get a full lap of Nürburgring right now?
02:01:54.000 That's great!
02:01:55.000 All the skills that you could acquire in this life.
02:01:58.000 Making noises that sound like cars.
02:02:00.000 It's fucking the top of the list.
02:02:01.000 A lot of time I spent, I worked hard.
02:02:03.000 It's like video game skills.
02:02:04.000 It's like being good at EverQuest.
02:02:06.000 It doesn't really...
02:02:07.000 There's the guy who does the car noises in the soda can.
02:02:09.000 Have you seen that one?
02:02:10.000 In a soda can?
02:02:10.000 Yeah, the guy who makes Lamborghini noises in the soda can.
02:02:13.000 It's fairly awesome.
02:02:15.000 That actually makes sense.
02:02:16.000 Yeah.
02:02:16.000 It's tinny.
02:02:17.000 Are you doing it?
02:02:21.000 That sounds more like a viper.
02:02:23.000 No, that's more like a viper.
02:02:24.000 That's a viper, dude.
02:02:25.000 There's too much coffee in here.
02:02:27.000 I'm getting crazy.
02:02:28.000 That's a viper.
02:02:29.000 Here's the only good song.
02:02:31.000 The only good sound that I do that really sounds real is a dog.
02:02:34.000 And one time we were on Fear Factor and a bunch of people were waiting to do this stunt.
02:02:38.000 And they were blindfolded.
02:02:39.000 They'd move them in in blindfolds because they had to get their camera position set up.
02:02:43.000 So they had no idea what the stunt would be.
02:02:44.000 So as these people were moving in, I'm going...
02:02:50.000 And they're sitting there going, oh Jesus Christ.
02:02:54.000 And they're like, moving really slow.
02:02:58.000 Wow, that's fucking creepy.
02:02:59.000 That is creepy.
02:03:00.000 Have you seen Total Blackout?
02:03:03.000 What is that?
02:03:04.000 Jaleel White's show?
02:03:06.000 Jaleel White?
02:03:06.000 Urkel?
02:03:07.000 No.
02:03:08.000 He got a show.
02:03:09.000 What kind of show?
02:03:09.000 So it's called Total Blackout.
02:03:12.000 So they got people to come in and they make them go in pitch black rooms and do shit with their hands.
02:03:20.000 So they have to guess what they're touching in pitch black rooms.
02:03:24.000 Some of it will be fucking spiders and bullshit, you know what I mean?
02:03:28.000 They'll have to rub a sweaty fat man, you know what I mean?
02:03:36.000 Generally, people freak out over some dumb shit, so that just kind of fucking got me on that.
02:03:41.000 I don't know why.
02:03:42.000 There's no point to it, actually.
02:03:44.000 But it's Urkel from that show?
02:03:45.000 He's the fucking host.
02:03:46.000 Isn't he a big giant dude now?
02:03:48.000 No.
02:03:49.000 Isn't he?
02:03:49.000 Oh, the other guy.
02:03:51.000 Urkel's brother.
02:03:52.000 Oh, Eddie Wynne?
02:03:53.000 No, that's Eddie Wynne.
02:03:54.000 Who was Urkel's brother?
02:03:55.000 He didn't have a brother.
02:03:55.000 Yeah, he had a brother, didn't he?
02:03:57.000 Didn't Urkel have a brother?
02:03:58.000 No.
02:03:58.000 There was a family...
02:03:59.000 What?
02:04:00.000 No.
02:04:00.000 No, I don't think he had a brother.
02:04:01.000 Didn't have a fucking brother?
02:04:02.000 He was like the lone neighbor.
02:04:04.000 Ah, shit.
02:04:06.000 I'm so bad on my old school 1990 sitcoms that I never watched.
02:04:09.000 But people lose their fucking mind when they can't see shit.
02:04:12.000 Oh yeah.
02:04:12.000 Which I'm sure you're well aware of.
02:04:14.000 Oh yeah.
02:04:14.000 Well I'm a big fan of the sensory deprivation tank.
02:04:16.000 I'm always getting one of those things.
02:04:18.000 Well the show that you were doing too.
02:04:19.000 Did you watch your house?
02:04:19.000 The X Factor stuff.
02:04:21.000 Fear Factor, son.
02:04:23.000 Ketchup.
02:04:23.000 Yeah, there's one in Venice.
02:04:25.000 No, I meant Fear Factor.
02:04:26.000 What do they charge for that?
02:04:27.000 40 bucks.
02:04:28.000 For an hour?
02:04:29.000 For an hour and a half, I think.
02:04:30.000 So the British version, Hammond was doing it.
02:04:34.000 Fear Factor?
02:04:34.000 Yeah, I just thought that was cool.
02:04:36.000 No kidding!
02:04:37.000 He has a GT3, so it's GT3 guys.
02:04:39.000 That's hilarious.
02:04:40.000 So he started doing it after I started doing the US version?
02:04:43.000 Yeah.
02:04:43.000 Yeah, there was a bunch of different hosts of Fear Factor all over the world.
02:04:46.000 How weird.
02:04:47.000 Yeah, but that's not crazy.
02:04:48.000 He had a GT3 RS. You have a GT3 RS? Crazy, man!
02:04:52.000 We're both short.
02:04:53.000 This is fucking nutty.
02:04:54.000 The coincidences go on and on.
02:04:57.000 We're both mildly amusing.
02:04:58.000 This is insane.
02:05:01.000 You gotta hook up that tank.
02:05:03.000 Yeah, well, you should definitely...
02:05:04.000 You would love it.
02:05:05.000 It's very relaxing, too.
02:05:06.000 I did one, like, ten years ago, and I thought it was the coolest thing ever.
02:05:09.000 Why didn't you do it again?
02:05:11.000 Because I don't live in the state in which I did it.
02:05:14.000 Ah, right.
02:05:15.000 You did it in New York?
02:05:16.000 Yeah, I haven't gotten around to checking it out again.
02:05:18.000 They're opening up now.
02:05:19.000 It's become a popular thing again.
02:05:20.000 Is it?
02:05:21.000 Yeah, all over the country.
02:05:22.000 What are the preferred drugs for sensory deprivation?
02:05:25.000 Marijuana is the number one.
02:05:28.000 Marijuana is your friend.
02:05:29.000 Especially edible.
02:05:31.000 Okay.
02:05:31.000 Yeah, you go the edible route.
02:05:32.000 Get to the point where you think you're probably going to be the first guy to die of an overdose and then get a...
02:05:36.000 Just get right on heaven's door.
02:05:40.000 You want to get right like your fucking Eric Clapton song.
02:05:43.000 Knock, knock, knock it on heaven's door.
02:05:45.000 Do one of those 180 milligram Chibichus right to the face.
02:05:50.000 God damn it!
02:05:53.000 Those chibachews, as you're eating them, you start hallucinating as you're chewing.
02:05:56.000 You start seeing vapor trails near your lips as you're chewing.
02:06:00.000 You don't want to eat too much chibachew.
02:06:02.000 It's so easy.
02:06:03.000 It's just one centimeter.
02:06:05.000 I was on a plane with Joey Diaz, okay?
02:06:07.000 And Joey Diaz had already eaten one.
02:06:10.000 A full one.
02:06:11.000 And I go, how much did I have?
02:06:12.000 He goes, don't even eat more than a half.
02:06:14.000 And then he takes one, a full one, and puts it in his mouth.
02:06:17.000 I go, you had one earlier?
02:06:19.000 He goes, this is my third one.
02:06:22.000 He goes, we're on a fucking six-hour flight.
02:06:24.000 Uncle Joey's going deep.
02:06:26.000 He told me, don't even eat a half, and he ate three of them.
02:06:30.000 Was he fucked?
02:06:31.000 Oh, he didn't say nothing, but then we landed.
02:06:33.000 He goes, I almost had a fucking panic attack.
02:06:36.000 I almost opened that door and jumped out.
02:06:41.000 I almost was going to tell the lady as the plane was taking off.
02:06:43.000 I'm not going to fucking do it.
02:06:45.000 I'm not doing this.
02:06:47.000 That happened with Ari Shafir once.
02:06:48.000 I gave him a breast strip and while we were waiting to take off, he starts clinching to the seat.
02:06:54.000 I go, what?
02:06:54.000 He goes, nothing.
02:06:55.000 And then when we landed, he goes, I was going to get up and I was going to tell him to stop the plane.
02:07:00.000 No, you weren't.
02:07:02.000 He goes, yes, I was going to tell him to stop the play.
02:07:04.000 He got so high, he was going to tell him to stop the play.
02:07:07.000 We had a friend in town, and there was a little miscommunication.
02:07:11.000 We gave him a couple edibles, and we didn't make it very, very clear that you only eat one at a time.
02:07:16.000 So those three cookies he ate at once, right before having an epic meltdown and puking on his fucking flight.
02:07:25.000 That's good.
02:07:26.000 You can really hurt yourself.
02:07:28.000 You can really pull something.
02:07:30.000 I don't do...
02:07:31.000 50 milligrams is my maximum.
02:07:34.000 Yeah.
02:07:34.000 And that's high.
02:07:36.000 50 milligrams is very high.
02:07:37.000 50 is a biggie dose.
02:07:39.000 They sell the gold caps in 50s now, and it's like, whoa.
02:07:42.000 Well, those candies?
02:07:44.000 You ate a candy, right?
02:07:46.000 The candies, those are a good dose, because the Jolly Ranchers, they're like, one of them is like, you know, a nice, mellow, not too fucked up.
02:07:55.000 You can kind of get through it, and two of them, ooh, you're going to feel tingles.
02:07:59.000 Two of them, you're going to be like, I might have just fucked up.
02:08:02.000 Maybe I should've taken that second one.
02:08:05.000 But if you really want to go crazy...
02:08:07.000 The Chibichus are the really, really gnarly ones.
02:08:10.000 I was gonna say, the Chibichus is probably like five of those.
02:08:12.000 Yeah.
02:08:13.000 Like, that's how strong a Chibichu is.
02:08:14.000 It's like five of those.
02:08:15.000 When I first saw that and it said 180 milligrams, I was like, there's no way that they could sell this to somebody.
02:08:20.000 Don't give a fuck.
02:08:21.000 They know that there's a market.
02:08:23.000 They know there's a market out there.
02:08:24.000 Well, we have...
02:08:25.000 I mean, have you come across dabs yet?
02:08:27.000 Dabs are like...
02:08:28.000 I don't fuck around with that stuff, dude.
02:08:29.000 It's too much.
02:08:30.000 Everybody's going too deep.
02:08:31.000 You're going too deep and you don't even know what's down there.
02:08:34.000 You know?
02:08:34.000 You're going to the Marianas Trench and fucking Godzilla's taking a shit.
02:08:37.000 I don't know.
02:08:38.000 James Cameron's not doing dabs, though.
02:08:40.000 Yeah, he's not.
02:08:41.000 Could you imagine being high as fuck at the bottom of the ocean and also being a billionaire at the same time being like, what am I doing down here?
02:08:48.000 I have so much money.
02:08:50.000 I could have just sent a fucking camera down here and got the exact same thing.
02:08:54.000 You know how crazy James Cameron is?
02:08:56.000 Think about how crazy he is.
02:08:57.000 He's got at least a billion dollars, probably more.
02:08:59.000 At least.
02:09:00.000 And he's built a fucking submarine to go to the lowest point and become the first guy to do it.
02:09:05.000 I read the best quote from James.
02:09:07.000 In the month of this searching for the plane, the Malaysia plane, they're looking for it.
02:09:14.000 So someone asked James Cameron, What do you think?
02:09:17.000 You're into this shit.
02:09:18.000 How do we find the fucking plane?
02:09:19.000 And he's talking about...
02:09:21.000 He actually was on Reddit and he actually did a very thorough explanation of how one would go about searching for the plane.
02:09:27.000 And he actually was like, you don't need my submarine because my submarine is too...
02:09:33.000 Too much for this mission.
02:09:36.000 You'd back it off one and use a slightly worse sub than James Cameron has in order to find the missing plane which hasn't been found yet.
02:09:46.000 But isn't it impossible to find something in the ocean?
02:09:49.000 The plane is just the size of a plane.
02:09:52.000 Dude, there are sharks that just got discovered in the last few years.
02:09:55.000 You know what I mean?
02:09:56.000 That shit's gone.
02:09:57.000 I mean, how could you find it?
02:09:59.000 You have to be really lucky.
02:10:01.000 Yeah.
02:10:01.000 Right?
02:10:02.000 They found the fucking Titanic.
02:10:04.000 Yeah, but it looked like a long time.
02:10:05.000 That's true.
02:10:05.000 A long, long time.
02:10:06.000 It only took them like 80 years.
02:10:09.000 70...
02:10:09.000 74 years.
02:10:12.000 Bob Ballard, 1986, I believe.
02:10:14.000 Was it really?
02:10:15.000 Yeah.
02:10:16.000 That is a crazy...
02:10:16.000 But they knew the exact path of the Titanic.
02:10:18.000 That's true.
02:10:19.000 That's true.
02:10:19.000 That's a good point.
02:10:20.000 They made movies about raising the Titanic before they found it.
02:10:23.000 Remember that?
02:10:23.000 Oh, remember the raising the Titanic movie?
02:10:25.000 They tied a bunch of fucking lift bags to it.
02:10:28.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:10:28.000 Thought that would work.
02:10:29.000 Airbags, yeah.
02:10:32.000 It did.
02:10:32.000 It did work.
02:10:33.000 They got raised.
02:10:35.000 And then there was a Soviet nuclear bomb.
02:10:37.000 There's this podcast that I listen to all the time.
02:10:39.000 It's called Radiolab.
02:10:40.000 And it's a great podcast.
02:10:41.000 Radiolab from NYC. WNYC. And they had this episode on a Glomar response.
02:10:47.000 And a Glomar response is, I can neither confirm nor deny.
02:10:50.000 You know, everybody uses that all the time.
02:10:51.000 It came from Global Marine.
02:10:54.000 And Global Marine was a company that was hired...
02:10:57.000 To try to retrieve a sunken Russian submarine.
02:11:00.000 And this was right after Watergate.
02:11:01.000 This was in the 1970s.
02:11:03.000 So because everybody was really sensitive about lies, the Freedom of Information Act had come about, and they'd gotten to the point where they were forced to talk and discuss about what they were doing out there in the ocean.
02:11:14.000 Were you actually trying to retrieve a Russian submarine?
02:11:16.000 Did you retrieve a Russian submarine?
02:11:18.000 And they said, we can neither confirm nor deny.
02:11:21.000 And that had become, because of that Glomar response, that's like a standard phrase now.
02:11:27.000 So they had to try to figure out, they were forced by law to respond and to give information.
02:11:32.000 So that was the information they get, that they can neither confirm nor deny.
02:11:36.000 Did they find it?
02:11:37.000 What do you think?
02:11:38.000 Oh yeah, they found it, for sure.
02:11:39.000 Not only did they find it, they almost pulled it up.
02:11:43.000 They attached this giant claw to a huge ship, and they were trying to pick this thing up in the ocean.
02:11:48.000 Like the fucking thing that gets toys?
02:11:50.000 Yes, exactly!
02:11:52.000 And it worked just as well.
02:11:53.000 That thing never works.
02:11:54.000 It got halfway up and then it broke off.
02:11:55.000 I almost got an iPod Nano!
02:11:57.000 Fuck!
02:11:57.000 No, it's more like a fluffy little bunny or something.
02:12:01.000 It was miles deep.
02:12:02.000 Miles deep in the ocean.
02:12:03.000 And they got a hold of it and they got it on film.
02:12:06.000 And they were watching it as they were bringing it up.
02:12:07.000 But the feedback, the loop, from watching it was delayed.
02:12:11.000 So they felt this thump.
02:12:14.000 And then they looked at the film, and the film showed that the boat was still there.
02:12:18.000 So then they refreshed the feed, and the boat was gone.
02:12:20.000 They're like, fuck.
02:12:21.000 They dropped it, basically.
02:12:22.000 Dropped it back to the bottom of the ocean.
02:12:23.000 Just crushed the shit.
02:12:24.000 Well, it's millions and millions and millions of pounds.
02:12:27.000 And they're clawing it with a fucking little carny cloth.
02:12:32.000 You've got to love that optimism, though.
02:12:34.000 They really thought they probably got it.
02:12:35.000 Yeah, well, they came close.
02:12:36.000 They did lift it up off the ground and got it a mile up.
02:12:39.000 Oh, really?
02:12:40.000 They brought it pretty fucking far up before it broke off.
02:12:43.000 I wish there was a live video of it just breaking free.
02:12:45.000 Shit!
02:12:47.000 Millions and millions and millions of dollars.
02:12:50.000 But apparently, eventually, they got it.
02:12:52.000 I don't know.
02:12:52.000 I think Ballard had to do the same thing.
02:12:54.000 He had to find a whole bunch of submarines and do this stuff for the government, and this Titanic thing was a side thing.
02:12:59.000 Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's how it was.
02:13:01.000 It's part of the skim.
02:13:02.000 Well, isn't it fun when they find these sunken boats from the Roman era?
02:13:06.000 Oh, yeah.
02:13:07.000 The galleons and stuff full of gold.
02:13:09.000 Someone just found ten million dollars in gold in their backyard.
02:13:12.000 In their backyard.
02:13:12.000 In California.
02:13:13.000 They found gold coins.
02:13:15.000 It's someone in the fucking 1800s buried in their backyard.
02:13:18.000 Crazy.
02:13:19.000 Did he have to give it back?
02:13:20.000 No, it's theirs!
02:13:21.000 But I did read they had to pay taxes on it.
02:13:24.000 Oh god, the government's a cunt.
02:13:26.000 You didn't find shit, you fuckhead.
02:13:29.000 It's gold.
02:13:30.000 How can you pay taxes on gold?
02:13:33.000 Because they probably figured out some paperwork where it was owed in 1800, right?
02:13:37.000 Maybe it was something that said that if they sold it.
02:13:39.000 Maybe.
02:13:40.000 Yeah, they paid taxes.
02:13:41.000 Man, that should be how you're freeing away from taxes because taxes is only about money.
02:13:45.000 I may have misconstrued the story.
02:13:48.000 Some analysts said if they ever sold it, they would have to pay taxes or blah, blah, blah.
02:13:52.000 Because I would think that...
02:13:53.000 Originally, money was supposed to be gold notes, right?
02:13:56.000 It was like, this $100 is worth $100 in gold.
02:13:58.000 If you already have the $100 in gold, you don't need the money.
02:14:00.000 Fuck the money.
02:14:01.000 So if you don't need the money...
02:14:02.000 What am I paying taxes on again?
02:14:04.000 What the fuck's going on here, man?
02:14:05.000 They just chisel a corner of it off.
02:14:07.000 Here you go.
02:14:07.000 Here's a little piece for you.
02:14:09.000 Yeah.
02:14:11.000 I think in the future, gold, the idea of a resource-based economy, whether it's gold or diamonds or have it be worth that, that's a way better idea.
02:14:22.000 Yeah, than paper.
02:14:23.000 Credit cards and money.
02:14:25.000 The system that we have now, the idea of the system that we have now, a piece of paper represents a hundred bucks, and what the hundred bucks gets you fluctuates depending on how the fucking economy's doing.
02:14:37.000 Bitcoins, man.
02:14:38.000 Buy bitcoins.
02:14:39.000 I have some bitcoins.
02:14:40.000 Do you?
02:14:41.000 Yeah, but I didn't buy them.
02:14:42.000 So I'm giving them away.
02:14:44.000 I did a thing.
02:14:46.000 I had this guy on...
02:14:47.000 I listened to your Bitcoin podcast.
02:14:49.000 It was super interesting, actually.
02:14:51.000 Well, you know, I think it's possible.
02:14:52.000 It's very possible that that could be a currency in the future.
02:14:55.000 It was right.
02:14:56.000 I listened to that podcast immediately before that Mt.
02:14:58.000 Gox thing took fucking everyone's money down with me.
02:15:01.000 I was like, oh shit!
02:15:03.000 That was hilarious.
02:15:04.000 That Mt.
02:15:04.000 Gox thing just shows you how nutty the internet is.
02:15:07.000 I laughed, because everyone said I should buy bitcoins instead of cars, and I said, fuck you, I can still drive my cars, where's your bitcoins?
02:15:13.000 Well, the bitcoins are still good if they weren't in Mt.
02:15:16.000 Gox.
02:15:16.000 The Mt.
02:15:16.000 Gox thing was a crazy thing, because it was the Magic the Gathering exchange.
02:15:20.000 That's what it was.
02:15:21.000 Fuck off, is that what that is?
02:15:22.000 Yes, it was.
02:15:24.000 Magic the Gathering exchange was with the originator of Mt.
02:15:28.000 Gox.
02:15:28.000 That's funny.
02:15:29.000 And what they originally were supposed to be doing was exchanging things from the fucking game.
02:15:33.000 Come on.
02:15:33.000 And then along the way, they start...
02:15:35.000 Yes, look up the story.
02:15:36.000 Fascinating shit.
02:15:37.000 That's crazy.
02:15:37.000 And along the way, they started...
02:15:40.000 Dealing digital currency.
02:15:42.000 And when they started doing it, they didn't have any of the security in place.
02:15:45.000 They weren't set up for it, and they've lost something like $350 million worth of Bitcoin.
02:15:51.000 So they started by trading mana?
02:15:53.000 Is that what you're saying?
02:15:54.000 I don't know how that stuff works, but that's what it came...
02:15:57.000 Mt.
02:15:57.000 Gox is short for Magic the Gathering Exchange.
02:16:02.000 How nerdy is it that I know what the currency is in Magic the Gathering?
02:16:06.000 You did know, and I didn't even know what you were talking about.
02:16:07.000 What is it?
02:16:08.000 Manna is the currency in Magic the Gathering.
02:16:11.000 Erase that from your head.
02:16:12.000 Yes, I am that fucking horrible.
02:16:13.000 Come on, man.
02:16:13.000 You can get that shit out of your head.
02:16:14.000 Yo, red deck, son.
02:16:16.000 Alright, if you had to recommend a convertible sports car in today's climate, what's the car?
02:16:24.000 Uh...
02:16:24.000 You got a hundred grand below.
02:16:26.000 A hundred?
02:16:27.000 Ooh, a hundred?
02:16:28.000 Two hundred.
02:16:30.000 Oh.
02:16:30.000 200, okay.
02:16:31.000 No, no, alright.
02:16:33.000 Joe's like, how much money do I have to spend right now?
02:16:36.000 Alright.
02:16:37.000 Well, for you?
02:16:38.000 No, for anybody.
02:16:39.000 What I'm saying is...
02:16:40.000 In the old days, okay, when you looked at a guy driving a sports car, you look at a gentleman, he had a scarf on, it's blowing in the breeze, and he's got fucking pilot's goggles on.
02:16:51.000 Wayfarers and a fucking cigar.
02:16:52.000 There was always no roof, you know?
02:16:54.000 It was like the roofless option was the sporty option.
02:16:57.000 But somewhere along the line, we found that to be folly.
02:17:00.000 Well, the chassis rigidity came into play, you know?
02:17:04.000 Because your GT500 was a convertible.
02:17:06.000 Yeah.
02:17:07.000 And you did not like the chassis, though.
02:17:09.000 I did not like the chassis.
02:17:10.000 What I did like was how stupid that car was.
02:17:13.000 It was America, fuck yeah, in a car.
02:17:15.000 Yeah.
02:17:15.000 You know?
02:17:16.000 550 horsepower.
02:17:17.000 By being a convertible, it had kind of a shitty chassis.
02:17:20.000 It's sloppy.
02:17:20.000 The coups are somewhere along the way...
02:17:23.000 People started saying, if you want to really get the performance out of it, it has to be a coupe.
02:17:28.000 Well, sometimes they actually make cars that were meant to be convertibles from the get-go, like the MP12C in a way.
02:17:35.000 Yeah, and the Nissan 370Z as well was designed to be a roadster first.
02:17:39.000 Yeah, the MP12CZ fucking, how much does that bitch cost?
02:17:42.000 So used, they're about...
02:17:44.000 Did you want to take a leak?
02:17:44.000 No, no.
02:17:45.000 Used, they're 170. Sweating it up.
02:17:47.000 It's hot in here, I think.
02:17:49.000 170. Those things cost $170,000?
02:17:52.000 Used.
02:17:53.000 And the top pops down and goes to the back in some way?
02:17:56.000 Or is that a spider version?
02:17:57.000 It's a spider.
02:17:58.000 It does, yeah.
02:17:59.000 It's like $250,000, $260,000.
02:18:00.000 $250,000.
02:18:02.000 It's a goddamn house in New Orleans.
02:18:03.000 Yeah.
02:18:04.000 Or three in Detroit.
02:18:06.000 In America, it's not even a parking spot.
02:18:08.000 No, if you want a convertible for $100,000, you want a Jaguar F-Type.
02:18:15.000 That new Jaguar.
02:18:16.000 I was going to ask you about that.
02:18:17.000 Is that a cool car?
02:18:17.000 Yeah.
02:18:18.000 It looks pretty wild.
02:18:19.000 Yeah, it's cool.
02:18:20.000 Dynamically, not quite as good as the 911, but so fucking cool.
02:18:24.000 Not quite as good, but pretty goddamn good.
02:18:26.000 But so cool.
02:18:27.000 As a cruiser...
02:18:29.000 As a go fast and have fun, but I don't care about a lap time cruiser.
02:18:34.000 It makes a great sound.
02:18:35.000 It's fucking loud and obnoxious.
02:18:37.000 It's a beautiful looking car too.
02:18:39.000 I saw one at the mall the other day.
02:18:40.000 I was like, holy shit.
02:18:41.000 But you shit on Jags because you shit on British cars.
02:18:44.000 I tried to do it.
02:18:45.000 I had an XKR convertible in 1999. It was a supercharged version, the R version.
02:18:51.000 That was a cool looking car.
02:18:52.000 It was a cool design.
02:18:55.000 I thought it looked actually better than the Aston Martin, which was a DB7. And it, you know, it was faster, but it was just really floppy.
02:19:04.000 I mean, I was going to kill myself driving at a track or in canyons in that car, because the suspension, it was just all floppy.
02:19:10.000 You've driven fucking every car there is, and for you to say that his cars are the best cars you've ever driven.
02:19:16.000 They're really, well, when I drove a stock GT3 RS at the time, I was like, this is the best car I've ever driven.
02:19:23.000 Right.
02:19:23.000 His cars are just better than that.
02:19:25.000 That's incredible.
02:19:26.000 It's that turned the 12th.
02:19:29.000 What about the Ferrari 458?
02:19:31.000 They're very nice.
02:19:32.000 They are very nice.
02:19:34.000 The Porsche GG3 RS is everything that you want about driving a race car, but it doesn't beat you up for making that decision.
02:19:43.000 A lot of other cars, I just drove the Mercedes SLS Black Series, which is the racetrack version of their going SLS. All the trade-off you get for the racetrack performance makes it worse to drive on the street.
02:19:59.000 The throttle's touchy, it's stiff, it's wider and lower and less practical, but the GT3 RS and Alex's cars, they don't kick you in the fucking dick because you decided you wanted to drive a race car.
02:20:16.000 Do you like luxury cars at all?
02:20:18.000 Do you like a Lexus LS? They're alright, yeah.
02:20:21.000 The new Range Rovers?
02:20:22.000 I love them.
02:20:23.000 Really?
02:20:24.000 Love them.
02:20:24.000 Now, aren't Range Rovers kinda shitty cars though?
02:20:27.000 They're not reliable, but when they work, they're amazing.
02:20:30.000 They're good at going off-road.
02:20:31.000 They're good on farms.
02:20:32.000 They're really good off-road, right?
02:20:33.000 So comfortable.
02:20:33.000 How come they're not reliable?
02:20:35.000 Because they're built in England.
02:20:36.000 That's what it is, right?
02:20:36.000 That is why.
02:20:37.000 We have great ideas.
02:20:39.000 We have really great ideas.
02:20:40.000 But our manufacturing, it went down the toilet many years ago.
02:20:44.000 And we didn't change since the board.
02:20:45.000 Right now is a good time for a Range Rover.
02:20:47.000 All the money that Ford put into them over the last 10 years is coming out in Jaguar and Land Rover's new cars now.
02:20:55.000 Ford owns Jaguar and Land Rover?
02:20:58.000 Owned for a while.
02:20:58.000 Now Tata owns.
02:20:59.000 An Indian company.
02:21:00.000 Oh, Tata.
02:21:00.000 Who the fuck is Tata?
02:21:01.000 It's an Indian, very rich Indian dude.
02:21:03.000 And they make these little, like, I don't know what...
02:21:06.000 They make little, like, almost smart car type little cheap cars in India, but they also now own Jaguar and Land Rover.
02:21:12.000 Whoa.
02:21:12.000 Well, it's better than, like, a Russian kid owning a car company, right?
02:21:16.000 Is that bad?
02:21:16.000 That wasn't bad.
02:21:17.000 Who was that?
02:21:18.000 That was, uh, what did they, who did they buy?
02:21:21.000 There was a company in England called TVR. TVR, yeah.
02:21:23.000 So remember that movie with John Travolta?
02:21:27.000 Yeah, the Tuscan?
02:21:27.000 The one where he got hit by lightning and became super smart?
02:21:30.000 No, not that one.
02:21:32.000 Why do you remember that one?
02:21:34.000 I remember that one.
02:21:34.000 Why do you remember that one?
02:21:35.000 I became really good at Portuguese.
02:21:36.000 You learned the Portuguese language in 20 minutes?
02:21:39.000 Yeah.
02:21:39.000 Not all of it.
02:21:41.000 There's a fucking new one with Scarlett Johansson.
02:21:43.000 They inject her with some shit, and she learns Chinese in five minutes.
02:21:46.000 It's the same fucking movie.
02:21:48.000 She's ripping off John Travolta.
02:21:50.000 Goddammit, Scarlett, you're better than that.
02:21:52.000 You're an Avenger.
02:21:53.000 He had his real hair then?
02:21:55.000 Yeah, everyone went nuts for that car, and that was a TVR, because you didn't have it here.
02:22:00.000 It was a company that was sort of on the edge of...
02:22:02.000 Death, pretty much his whole life, and so some Russian billionaire kid bought it as sort of a toy.
02:22:08.000 There you go.
02:22:08.000 There's a TVR. Oh, throw that in the garbage.
02:22:10.000 No, but that isn't the one.
02:22:12.000 You like these.
02:22:12.000 These things are raw and light and stick-shift.
02:22:15.000 They're like an English viper, but just not even built that well.
02:22:19.000 Do you remember that shitty movie with Charlie Sheen, which is a Porsche thief?
02:22:22.000 Yeah, No Man's Land.
02:22:23.000 I love that movie.
02:22:24.000 That's like, all the Porsche people love that movie.
02:22:26.000 Or other shitty Charlie Sheen movie, The Chase.
02:22:29.000 That was really bad.
02:22:32.000 Shitty?
02:22:32.000 That was Nick Nolte?
02:22:33.000 Or Nick Cage?
02:22:35.000 Yeah, remember No Man's Land.
02:22:37.000 Look at No Man's Land, right?
02:22:39.000 Just watch a scene where there's actually a car chase in it, and you see them speeding away in an 80s 911 turbo or whatever 911 they're stealing.
02:22:48.000 And then following them is always, you know, this shitty 80s Camaro.
02:22:52.000 And it cannot go straight or put down any power of any kind.
02:22:55.000 It's just literally doing this the whole way.
02:22:58.000 Yeah.
02:22:59.000 They really, they had Porsche's deal.
02:23:00.000 Listen, you got to make that chase car a real shitbox.
02:23:04.000 Well, back in the days, like those 930 turbos that was in that movie, what else could, what could beat them back then?
02:23:11.000 Ferraris, Lambo.
02:23:11.000 Was it?
02:23:12.000 Yeah.
02:23:13.000 Lambo's not going on a turn.
02:23:14.000 959. So you would have to have something like that.
02:23:16.000 Yeah.
02:23:17.000 But it was pre-959, wasn't it?
02:23:18.000 Yeah, it was.
02:23:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:23:19.000 Actually, I don't know.
02:23:20.000 Those 930 turbos, there was nothing around that could fuck with those back then.
02:23:25.000 Those were 0-60 in 5 seconds in 1979. In first gear.
02:23:31.000 That's so crazy.
02:23:32.000 My 79, 930, I could get on the freeway and I would start from a stop sign and go on the freeway and I did not change gear.
02:23:43.000 I could just sit there.
02:23:44.000 Now, is it possible to do something like that, but make it a car that you could, like, that 9 Meister, 9 RSR, or whatever the fuck they call it, is it possible to make something like that that you could drive like a GT3, like an older 911?
02:24:00.000 No.
02:24:01.000 Too much work?
02:24:02.000 Too much race?
02:24:02.000 How does that 9 Meister, how can we do that?
02:24:04.000 Too much Frankenstein.
02:24:05.000 Have you ever seen that video?
02:24:06.000 Yeah.
02:24:06.000 Yeah.
02:24:07.000 Well, it's a race car.
02:24:08.000 Basically a race car.
02:24:09.000 It would have zero compliance.
02:24:11.000 You'd get beaten up.
02:24:12.000 You could drive it.
02:24:13.000 You wouldn't like it.
02:24:14.000 That's perfect.
02:24:15.000 That's what I'm looking for.
02:24:16.000 I'm looking for something that's bolted right to the wheels themselves.
02:24:18.000 I don't need any suspension.
02:24:19.000 No, you don't need that.
02:24:20.000 That old Porsche that you saw us make the video of, the red one, it's like that.
02:24:25.000 Is it really?
02:24:25.000 That car beats you up a little bit.
02:24:27.000 That car was amazing.
02:24:30.000 BBI Autosport.
02:24:31.000 That thing is insane.
02:24:32.000 Yeah, it's nutty.
02:24:33.000 275 horsepower at the wheels, and how much does it weigh?
02:24:37.000 2,500 pounds.
02:24:37.000 2,200 pounds or something?
02:24:39.000 It's stupid light.
02:24:40.000 Nothing in it, right?
02:24:41.000 It's got nothing in it.
02:24:41.000 No carpet.
02:24:42.000 No nothing.
02:24:43.000 But isn't it interesting that there's a bunch of people that are going to that?
02:24:46.000 Like the actual lead designer of Bugatti has a Porsche that he has.
02:24:50.000 Kevlar body panels.
02:24:52.000 He has no stereo.
02:24:54.000 The head of a company that makes the heaviest fucking car, you know, 4,400 pounds is a Veyron.
02:25:01.000 He chooses to drive something that's like 2,000 pounds.
02:25:04.000 The most minimalist version of that car, too.
02:25:07.000 I mean, he has the same thing.
02:25:08.000 A gutted interior, everything is removed, no AC, no radio, no nothing.
02:25:14.000 He just has this super light car, and it doesn't even look like a crazy engine.
02:25:18.000 No, it's not even a crazy engine.
02:25:19.000 It's a fairly basic engine, isn't it?
02:25:21.000 Yeah, for those kind of cars, yeah.
02:25:23.000 You don't need much.
02:25:25.000 Light goes a long way.
02:25:26.000 The reason I was getting at this is you were saying while you were driving that BBI car, that after all these years of doing Tuned, where you're driving all these fucking wild, crazy, supercharged, fucking super horsepower, that this is what you were enjoying.
02:25:43.000 Light is really good.
02:25:44.000 What's good about light?
02:25:45.000 Well, there's like all this crazy power.
02:25:47.000 It's like you can't use that ever.
02:25:49.000 You get into it for two seconds and then you have no road left.
02:25:52.000 Right, and then to use it continuously, you have to stop that 5,000 pound brick, you know, repeatedly, and then your brakes are shit, you know, and you're surprised why.
02:26:00.000 You have runways and stuff.
02:26:01.000 When it gets to the top end of this These people are racing on runways.
02:26:06.000 That Porsche, the 1600 horsepower?
02:26:08.000 Yeah, the Evo guys, you know, with the parachute on the back, I mean, yeah, they have to go to, like, fully sanctioned runways.
02:26:15.000 But when you're driving a car like that BBI Porsche, you can use all of it.
02:26:18.000 Yeah.
02:26:20.000 Yeah!
02:26:20.000 Because light is good.
02:26:22.000 You don't need a zillion horsepower.
02:26:23.000 You didn't enjoy it as much as you enjoyed driving the GT3 RS. Oh, the limits are fucking so high.
02:26:30.000 I'd go to jail in 10 minutes if I had one of those things.
02:26:34.000 If you had one of the GT3 RSs, but if you had one of those BBI Porsches, you could actually drive it all the time.
02:26:40.000 I could probably drive it and stay in jail, but my body would shrivel up into a fucking old man.
02:26:45.000 Here's the question, though.
02:26:47.000 My back is fucking shot.
02:26:49.000 But here's the question.
02:26:50.000 Would you be able to enjoy it after driving a GT3 RS? Probably.
02:26:56.000 Something that's like old is sort of like frozen in time.
02:26:59.000 It will always be that.
02:27:01.000 You can always go back to it, and it doesn't wear off.
02:27:05.000 Whereas like...
02:27:06.000 This new shit where it's like computer controlled and paddle shifters.
02:27:09.000 Every time there's the new one, the old one feels old.
02:27:13.000 Whereas something that is stick shift and sort of analog is kind of timeless and sort of frozen in that moment.
02:27:19.000 Like a 69 Mustang.
02:27:20.000 It will always be a 69 Mustang.
02:27:24.000 And it will never feel any older than it already is.
02:27:27.000 But an 89 Mustang is kind of dog shit.
02:27:29.000 Fuck you.
02:27:33.000 I'm taking mine to get some crazy shit.
02:27:35.000 Yeah, but NSX feels good.
02:27:40.000 It feels as good as any Cayman that Porsche has ever done.
02:27:43.000 Yeah, I had one.
02:27:44.000 It was a 275 horsepower, 5-speed, or 6-speed.
02:27:48.000 It was one of my favorite cars ever.
02:27:49.000 Yeah.
02:27:50.000 It wasn't that fast, but it was fun to drive.
02:27:52.000 It's fun to ring it out, and you can use it.
02:27:54.000 You can use the whole thing.
02:27:55.000 And it was so balanced.
02:27:57.000 The car really made you feel like you were really doing it.
02:28:01.000 You were really moving.
02:28:02.000 Except the horns on the thumb.
02:28:04.000 Ferrari has that now.
02:28:05.000 They have all the buttons.
02:28:06.000 What?
02:28:07.000 Ferrari has that now?
02:28:07.000 Blinkers are on the steering wheel.
02:28:09.000 The horn is on the steering wheel?
02:28:10.000 The horn is in the same place as it was in your car.
02:28:12.000 The blinkers are on the steering wheel, too.
02:28:14.000 How dare they?
02:28:15.000 How dare they?
02:28:16.000 What excites you about what's coming out right now?
02:28:19.000 About the new cars that are out that you've been driving.
02:28:22.000 How many cars do you drive a year?
02:28:24.000 150 to 200 usually.
02:28:26.000 That's insane.
02:28:27.000 That's a lot.
02:28:27.000 A lot of new cars.
02:28:28.000 That's insane.
02:28:29.000 What is exciting right now?
02:28:30.000 Well, the new Mustang is exciting.
02:28:32.000 Independent suspension in the Mustang, finally.
02:28:35.000 A turbo engine.
02:28:36.000 Really?
02:28:37.000 Yeah, there's a four-cylinder turbo that's going to be kind of the tuner special for the Mustang.
02:28:41.000 It's going to be neat.
02:28:42.000 That's going to be interesting, too, because it's going to be lightweight in the front, right?
02:28:44.000 What about the Alpha 4C? Have you driven that?
02:28:47.000 I haven't driven it.
02:28:48.000 Chris Harris drove it and liked it.
02:28:50.000 Other people have driven it and said different things.
02:28:53.000 I'm excited for it.
02:28:54.000 I want to try it.
02:28:55.000 When are they going to put out the big horsepower Mustang?
02:28:58.000 Because they're going to have a new version of the Shelby?
02:29:00.000 It's probably 2016, I would bet.
02:29:02.000 It'll be at least a year after it first comes out.
02:29:06.000 Are they going to have a GT, though?
02:29:07.000 Yeah.
02:29:08.000 There's three engines.
02:29:09.000 The base one is a V6 and the turbo four is a step up from the V6, actually.
02:29:13.000 And then the V8 will be like 450 horsepower.
02:29:16.000 That's going to be interesting to see what it's like.
02:29:17.000 It'll be the Boss 302 engine, is the V8. I wonder if they'll do like a whole Laguna Seca version of it.
02:29:22.000 They'll do something like that.
02:29:24.000 The Boss 302 was too successful for them not to do another something.
02:29:27.000 That's really cool.
02:29:28.000 And the new Challenger Hellcat, which is the best name ever for a car.
02:29:32.000 Yeah, I just looked at pictures of that, man.
02:29:33.000 It's pretty beastie looking.
02:29:35.000 It looks pretty badass, but it also looks like it doesn't have any fucking back tires.
02:29:40.000 It doesn't look like a very meaty, back-tired vehicle.
02:29:44.000 I bet the tires go...
02:29:46.000 Like, look at that.
02:29:48.000 I'm not comfortable stomping on the gas.
02:29:50.000 I think it's probably meant for doing burnouts.
02:29:54.000 Which is probably why.
02:29:55.000 The skinnier the tire, the more burnout, yeah.
02:29:56.000 Well, that'll work.
02:29:57.000 It's 600 fucking horsepower.
02:29:59.000 I love it, though.
02:30:01.000 And the new M3 and M4, I'm excited for.
02:30:03.000 I just hope that this has some handling to it.
02:30:05.000 I think it would be cool if they had it where it can compete with the new Camaro, the LS. Those cars are big, man.
02:30:11.000 That's a 4,000-pound-plus car.
02:30:13.000 It's a big car.
02:30:14.000 Those cars are GT cars.
02:30:16.000 They're great on a road trip.
02:30:18.000 They're great for...
02:30:19.000 But if it had a ZL1-type suspension in it, how much bigger is this than a Camaro?
02:30:25.000 Really?
02:30:25.000 Yeah, it's probably 600 pounds, 700 pounds heavier.
02:30:28.000 Wow.
02:30:29.000 Yeah, it's a big girl, that thing.
02:30:30.000 I drove one when I did my sci-fi show.
02:30:33.000 I enjoyed it, but it did feel like a GT car.
02:30:35.000 It's a good cruiser.
02:30:36.000 The tighter the corner, the worse it does.
02:30:37.000 Yeah, I liked it.
02:30:40.000 They're neat, they're just not...
02:30:46.000 Yeah, but there ain't nothing wrong with a 660lb Dodge Challenger.
02:30:53.000 I don't want one in my own garage.
02:30:57.000 I'm not gonna go drop 60 on it right now, but I'm glad it exists.
02:31:00.000 Yeah, but as a comfortable daily driver, it's a comfortable car to drive.
02:31:05.000 It's a great car.
02:31:05.000 Really good seats.
02:31:06.000 Most powerful muscle car in Chrysler history.
02:31:09.000 Does it have any specs?
02:31:11.000 I think it's supposed to be 666 horsepower.
02:31:13.000 It's a supercharged 6.4 liter V8. And wait, look, scroll back up real quick.
02:31:18.000 See this?
02:31:19.000 That headlight, that's an air intake right next to the headlight.
02:31:23.000 What?
02:31:24.000 That's straight out of JDM, dude.
02:31:26.000 Where they take out the headlight and put an intake there?
02:31:29.000 They've done that here.
02:31:29.000 So you remember you said you had a super?
02:31:31.000 A lot of people would take that front light out, right?
02:31:33.000 And I think it was on the driver's side.
02:31:36.000 And so they'd go down the track at night with one light, which was illegal.
02:31:39.000 But they'd have this hole going all the way in with a tube and intake into the engine.
02:31:44.000 That's so crazy.
02:31:45.000 Does that mean it takes away one of the headlights to make it less safe to drive?
02:31:48.000 No, the inner ones are auxiliary fog lights or whatever.
02:31:51.000 Yeah, on that car.
02:31:52.000 They've just changed the headlight pattern to make it cool.
02:31:54.000 And it's actually, it's got like a little, what they call angel eyes, like BMWs have the rings.
02:31:59.000 Oh yeah.
02:32:00.000 That intake's got an angel eye thing around it.
02:32:02.000 Isn't it a weird time for fucking performance cars where a car that used to be ridiculous is out of the box Mustang GT. It used to be ridiculous to have 420 fucking horsepower.
02:32:13.000 I just drove a Lamborghini Countach quattro valve.
02:32:17.000 Fastest car in the world at the time.
02:32:19.000 Mustang GT today makes as much horsepower as this.
02:32:23.000 That you can buy for 28 grand.
02:32:25.000 Is there a corresponding increase in traffic accidents with all this horsepower?
02:32:30.000 Increased safety features.
02:32:31.000 Tires are a big difference now.
02:32:33.000 The speed limits haven't gone up.
02:32:35.000 Speed limits are exactly the fucking same.
02:32:38.000 They have gone up a little.
02:32:39.000 Have you ever seen that show called Fifth Gear?
02:32:42.000 It was the original guys from Top Gear.
02:32:44.000 So they went off and did a more serious car show.
02:32:48.000 I think it was about...
02:32:49.000 Three years ago, they did this shoot or, you know, segment on traction control, and they had Tiff Nadell trying to base...
02:32:58.000 The Hellcat.
02:32:59.000 Oh, my word.
02:33:00.000 Sticks with a fucking manual transmission.
02:33:01.000 No more pistol grip, though.
02:33:02.000 America!
02:33:03.000 Fuck yeah!
02:33:04.000 I'll tell you why, because the pistol grip kind of sucked a fat dick.
02:33:08.000 Overrated.
02:33:08.000 It was overrated.
02:33:10.000 Wasn't that cool?
02:33:10.000 Well, they had this law in Europe, basically, in all of Europe, where you have to have traction control on all cars now, and the system has to be so good that even Tiff Nadell could not get the car to slide.
02:33:23.000 He tried every single thing he could to get it to slide.
02:33:26.000 Remember that one?
02:33:27.000 That was crazy, yeah.
02:33:28.000 I wonder, if anything, what they've done to make the tires larger.
02:33:34.000 It says the subtle trimmed hem of the wheel wells accommodates the aggressive 20-inch aluminum wheel and tire package.
02:33:41.000 Because that's what I would worry about.
02:33:42.000 I have a fucking Peterman catalog.
02:33:44.000 They've gone inward with it.
02:33:46.000 The wheels are deeper.
02:33:48.000 Oh, I see.
02:33:49.000 They're a deeper wheel, so they don't stick out any further.
02:33:51.000 They go in further.
02:33:52.000 You know what else is silly, though, with these newer cars?
02:33:55.000 I don't even know how big are those wheels.
02:33:57.000 They're probably 21. Why don't you watch your mouth when you're in my country calling our cars silly?
02:34:01.000 How about that?
02:34:02.000 No, no.
02:34:02.000 All of these cars.
02:34:03.000 Even a 991 Turbo.
02:34:06.000 That's great.
02:34:07.000 It's got 20 inch wheels.
02:34:09.000 20. Why not just have, you know, 22s?
02:34:11.000 Because people want their shit on rims.
02:34:13.000 Is 20 inch too big?
02:34:15.000 Is that what you're saying?
02:34:16.000 Race cars still use 18s.
02:34:20.000 That's the optimum.
02:34:21.000 Do they use 20 just for looks?
02:34:23.000 Pretty much.
02:34:24.000 And to fit bigger brakes.
02:34:25.000 But you gotta admit, it does look fresh.
02:34:27.000 It does.
02:34:27.000 I agree, but...
02:34:28.000 Can I plug something before we get out of here?
02:34:30.000 Let's get out of here.
02:34:30.000 So last time I was on the show, we talked about going off this off-road adventure we were doing, 600 miles off-road, the state of Washington.
02:34:38.000 Yes.
02:34:39.000 In some shitboxes.
02:34:40.000 The film comes out June 1st.
02:34:42.000 Beautiful.
02:34:43.000 What's it called?
02:34:43.000 It's called All Cars Go to Heaven.
02:34:45.000 It's available on Vimeo as a rental or a digital download.
02:34:50.000 Beautiful.
02:34:50.000 It's also available on our YouTube channel.
02:34:53.000 Very cool.
02:34:53.000 And we...
02:34:54.000 Shenanigans?
02:34:56.000 We shenanigansed.
02:34:57.000 We shenanigansed the shit out of a couple of beater cars across the state of Washington.
02:35:01.000 It was fantastic.
02:35:01.000 I can't wait to see it.
02:35:03.000 Somebody produced this for you?
02:35:04.000 Did you guys do it in-house?
02:35:05.000 We did it all in-house.
02:35:06.000 That's amazing.
02:35:07.000 I love it.
02:35:07.000 And our whole crew appears on camera, too, not just me.
02:35:10.000 That's glorious.
02:35:10.000 It's hilarious.
02:35:11.000 All cars go to heaven.
02:35:12.000 There it is.
02:35:13.000 There it is.
02:35:14.000 Give me some volume.
02:35:36.000 Yeah, so we basically bought some cheap cars, tried to go 600 miles off-road across the entire state of Washington into Canada.
02:35:48.000 And it's harder than it looks.
02:35:49.000 And you drove over ground?
02:35:51.000 No off-roading.
02:35:52.000 Look at this.
02:35:53.000 That's an 87 Tercel we bought for $300.
02:35:56.000 Was someone surfing on the hood?
02:35:57.000 Oh, that was Zach.
02:35:58.000 Yeah, Zach.
02:35:59.000 That's not recommended.
02:36:00.000 No, not at all.
02:36:01.000 Wow.
02:36:03.000 And so it's a good time.
02:36:06.000 That sounds awesome, man.
02:36:07.000 Yeah, it's like $4, I think.
02:36:08.000 Comes out June 1st.
02:36:09.000 $4, ladies and gentlemen.
02:36:10.000 Come on.
02:36:10.000 Less than this beer right here.
02:36:12.000 Yeah, 16 quarters.
02:36:13.000 Come on.
02:36:13.000 Drop it up.
02:36:14.000 Yep.
02:36:14.000 So June 1st, thesmokingtire.com slash film.
02:36:17.000 Sounds glorious.
02:36:18.000 And Drive on NBC Sports.
02:36:21.000 Yes.
02:36:21.000 Starts Saturday the 24th at 9.30 a.m.
02:36:26.000 Eastern, which is stupid.
02:36:27.000 It's right before Monaco Grand Prix qualifying, though.
02:36:29.000 Beautiful.
02:36:30.000 And then it repeats at 10.30 p.m.
02:36:31.000 Eastern on NBC Sports.
02:36:32.000 Yeah, you couldn't ask for a better one.
02:36:34.000 That's good.
02:36:34.000 That's a good one.
02:36:36.000 Right after Monaco Grand Prix qualifying.
02:36:37.000 Well, let me know when it comes out, and we'd be happy to promote it here.
02:36:40.000 And let me know...
02:36:42.000 I'll give you some codes to download the film, to give away to people or whatever.
02:36:46.000 The film, let me know that.
02:36:47.000 Let me know the show.
02:36:48.000 I'll let everybody know when the show comes out.
02:36:50.000 And you can follow Matt online, The Smoking Tire on Twitter.
02:36:54.000 And what's the website?
02:36:56.000 TheSmokingTire.com.
02:36:56.000 TheSmokingTire.com.
02:36:58.000 SharkWorks.
02:36:59.000 If you want to get your car hooked up, if you're interested in getting, you know, maybe you do.
02:37:03.000 I don't know.
02:37:04.000 Maybe like, fuck you, Joe Rogan.
02:37:06.000 I don't know.
02:37:06.000 We've got like over 500 cars.
02:37:09.000 That's just some of the ones that we've done that we put up there.
02:37:11.000 And if you're just an enthusiast and you dream one day in the future, watch some of the videos online because they're pretty fucking awesome.
02:37:16.000 We're going to have your car and your car.
02:37:18.000 Oh, that's right.
02:37:19.000 Coming on Smoking Tire.
02:37:20.000 Glorious, glorious.
02:37:22.000 All right.
02:37:22.000 Thank you, Alex.
02:37:23.000 Good times, my friend.
02:37:24.000 Thank you, man.
02:37:25.000 And you can follow Alex on Twitter at SharkWorks, right?
02:37:29.000 That's correct.
02:37:29.000 SharkWorks on Twitter.
02:37:30.000 With an E. Works, yeah.
02:37:31.000 W-E-R-K-S. SharkWorks.
02:37:34.000 And that's it.
02:37:36.000 All right.
02:37:36.000 Thank you to our sponsors.
02:37:37.000 Thanks to Stamps.com.
02:37:39.000 Use the code word J-R-E and save yourself some money.
02:37:43.000 Get a $110 bonus offer, including $55, up to $55 of free postage and a free digital scale.
02:37:50.000 Thanks also to LegalZoom.com.
02:37:54.000 LegalZoom.com.
02:37:55.000 What was the code of LegalZoom?
02:37:57.000 Goddammit, Jamie.
02:37:59.000 Goddammit, Jamie.
02:38:00.000 I'll tell you right now.
02:38:01.000 I've got it in front of me.
02:38:03.000 Use the code word ROGAN at checkout.
02:38:06.000 Save yourself some money.
02:38:08.000 Alright, we'll be back next week.
02:38:10.000 Mad guests.
02:38:12.000 Lots of fascinating conversations to have and interesting people to talk to.
02:38:17.000 And that's it.
02:38:18.000 So we see you soon.
02:38:19.000 Much love to everybody.
02:38:20.000 Big kiss.
02:38:20.000 Good night.