In this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, the guys talk about the benefits of getting older and how they have become more appreciative of the things they have in their life. They also talk about how time seems to slow down when you're stoned and how fast it goes by once you realize how short a year really is. And of course, there's a little bit of pot talk at the end of the episode, so be sure to stay tuned for that! Also, if you don't know who Barry Rothbard is, you're not going to want to miss this one. He's a comedian, writer, podcaster, and podcaster from New York City, and he's one of the funniest people I've ever met. He also happens to be a pot dealer, so you know what that's pretty cool, right? Enjoy this episode and don't forget to leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! If you like what you hear, share it with a friend, and tell us what you think about it! XOXO, Timestamps: 0:00 - How long does it take to grow up? 5:30 - How fast does it feel like you're growing up? 8:00 - How much time does it go by? 12:15 - What do you feel like it's a short year? 17:00- What does it really feel like? 18:40 - What's a good year? 20:00: How long is a short? 25:00? 27:00 | How long? 30:00 Is it a long? 35:00 / 36:00/40? 37:30? 39:30/50? 40:30 / 45? 45? - What is your perspective on life a good thing? 47:00 + 48:30 49:00+ 50:30 + 6 + 6:30+ 6 + 7 + 7? 6 + 8 + 8? 5 + 8 ? 6 7 + 8 8 + 9? 7 5 9 + 6 ? 8 8 ? 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 16 15 17 18 19 21 Is it longer than a year? 15 + 6 ? 15? 16 ?
00:02:18.000No, I think that's just a facet of recognizing how brief it really is.
00:02:22.000As you get older and you hit 40, you go, oh Jesus, if everything goes great, I'm at the halfway point.
00:02:28.000Like if I don't get cancer, hit by a bus, die in a car accident, like all these different variables that you start to consider and then you realize when you work all day too, you think about how quick a goddamn day goes by.
00:02:41.000You're saying that things slow down when you get older?
00:02:44.000No, I'm saying you're saying it slows down when you smoke weed and you appreciate everything, but yet life seems like it's going faster at the same time.
00:02:51.000But as I've gotten older, I've actually been way more appreciative of things.
00:04:27.000You're like, you have some genetic abnormality that makes you look like you're 24. 24 and a fourth.
00:04:34.000Yeah, that's a weird thing about kids today, right?
00:04:36.000With this thing that they're saying that hormones in the meat are causing them to reach puberty quicker than ever before, and that girls that are like 12 and 13 years old, they look like women.
00:05:19.000They're thinking antibiotics are having a weird effect on people because you're absorbing a certain amount of it from the food that you eat.
00:05:41.000Yeah, well, it's not having enough food.
00:05:43.000You know, when you look at what people can do today, where you just go into a supermarket and you get cold meat, like that wasn't that easy back then.
00:07:25.000People are bigger, faster, even without steroids.
00:07:28.000There would be a few people that would It's always crazy when people are just like, well, what if Wilt Chamberlain went against LeBron James?
00:08:52.000Could you imagine if Babe Ruth came back and tried to compete against Jose Canseco when Jose Canseco was in his juicin' prime or Mark McGuire?
00:09:03.000First of all, I feel like Babe Ruth would be brought up on rape charges immediately.
00:10:43.000Well, they're also always traveling, too.
00:10:45.000When you're fishing, presumably, even if you're trolling, which means pulling behind, I would imagine the boat would be going faster than that if it's got oars and sails, those big crazy fucking sails.
00:10:59.000How about they're going faster than you would want to troll for?
00:11:02.000So you're not going to slow down on the off chance that you catch a fish.
00:11:06.000Trolling is like when they take a line and they pull it behind a boat with a hook and a flashy lure and the fish see it and they think it's a fish trying to swim away and they chase after it and they eat it.
00:11:35.000I caught like I think a 50-pound pelican like this pelican was gigantic and they had to like some dude some captain dude came out he's like I got this and he pulled the pelican out by his beak out of the water and had to like cut the hook off so he's just like living with a hook in him now.
00:11:52.000I had the same thing happen once with a seal.
00:12:47.000I mean, you'd have to, like, you'd have to jig them, which means, like, you'd have to pass, throw the hook over their body, and pull on it, like, catch their body.
00:12:54.000They're not going to willingly bite a fake fish.
00:14:11.000You gotta be friends with it for a while?
00:14:13.000So these people who are doing it are doing us a huge service.
00:14:17.000But there's also a weirdness with people.
00:14:20.000If you don't think of yourself as being a killer, even while you're wearing leather shoes, you've got a belt on that's made out of alligators.
00:14:26.000We're wearing Nike that's made by Filipino kids with bloody fingers.
00:14:58.000The amount of syllables per second, the amount of steps per minute that you take when you're walking, directly related to the population of the city.
00:15:09.000They broke it down as a mathematical equation with these physicists.
00:15:12.000They thought this through and they've done all these tests where they called people, they called post offices, they called and they set up Like waypoints, like here's like the start, here's the beginning, and they measured everybody who walks through that waypoint, like an unknown waypoint.
00:15:27.000They had no idea they were being studied.
00:15:29.000They put a piece of string down on the ground.
00:15:31.000They tied it to one post and another post.
00:15:33.000So they had an arbitrary beginning start time and end time.
00:15:36.000And these people would walk through it, and they would count in every city what is the average number.
00:15:41.000So this guy walked, you know, 20 feet per second or whatever.
00:15:44.000This guy walked 15. And they would figure out how many steps, and they would throw it all into a computer.
00:15:50.000And they found out that it's directly proportional to how many people live in the area.
00:15:55.000He's the fastest walkers, do you remember?
00:17:23.000I mean, most likely the mountain lion's gonna stay clear of you because they've learned over the years that when you fuck with people, you usually get killed.
00:17:34.000If the wrong mountain lion with a sprained ankle finds you, and you're there when it's hungry, and it says, fuck it, I'm not starving to death, and it just takes you down, that can happen too.
00:20:55.000I think we certainly have done a lot of damage as far as pollution and Particulates, but I listen to people that say that they know that we have done it and I believe them and I trust them.
00:21:15.000I mean, what I'm saying is I don't know what the fuck is going on.
00:21:19.000I'm listening to them and they're making a lot of sense and I would always go towards the scientists, but I have no idea Like whether or not people are actually causing global warming or whether or not global warming is going to be the sky is falling moment that 2000 wasn't or that 2012 wasn't.
00:22:49.000Well, I've seen this, there was some scientific study they did where they injected a sick person with HIV, like the HIV to combat some other disease, like it was an inert form of HIV that could infect them.
00:23:33.000I think that there's something like if you inject a certain type of cancer into an AIDS cell, it just goes like, it just fucking kills the AIDS. Well, there's no AIDS cell, right?
00:23:42.000There's T cells that are bad, and it's your immune system that's shot.
00:25:42.000Well, you're all, I'm assuming, and I don't know this person you know, but I'm assuming that they are of the middle class and they are, like, they're not, like, a poor, poverty-stricken person, right?
00:25:52.000He's not wealthy by any stretch of the imagination.
00:26:45.000In the U.S.? Okay, let's say the U.S. because here's where it gets funky when they start counting Africa.
00:26:51.000And one of the reasons why it gets funky is because if you say there's HIV... Oh, you're thinking of the world.
00:26:55.000I thought you meant USA. USA. Let's just go with USA. Because if you go with the world, the real problem with the world is, as it's been explained to me, in Africa, they can get funding from AIDS organizations if someone has HIV. They will say, you know, this person is getting AIDS. They're testing positive for AIDS. And this is like,
00:27:31.000When they say 30,000, when they say those numbers in Africa, what's been explained to me by legit scientists is that it's possible that you have to consider that those people don't all have HIV. It might be unrelated illnesses that's causing their immune system to get destroyed.
00:27:47.000Some of them might have HIV, but some of them might have cancers and toxic poisoning.
00:28:56.000They're not saying AIDS. You've got to say in the U.S. AIDS-related deaths in the U.S. In 2010, HIV was the seventh leading cause of death.
00:31:04.000No recognizable issues, except when they get too high.
00:31:08.000But these people are probably rookies.
00:31:10.000They're getting these rookies that don't get high, and they're getting them too high, and they're turning corners, and they panic in the mid-corner.
00:31:16.000You know what happens when I get really high and I drive?
00:31:18.000I forget I'm driving for a few minutes.
00:31:21.000You're driving, and your mind is wandering to something else.
00:32:25.000Like, you're still kind of trying to catch up to the now because you're thinking so much, like trying to figure out what you were doing in the past that you're not even...
00:32:35.000I mean, in the shower all the time, I'll just shower everything and forget that I've washed anything.
00:32:41.000I'll be like, did I wash any part of my body?
00:32:43.000And then all of a sudden I'll be like, oh, I guess.
00:33:52.000That's our DNA. I think about, too, and you tour all the time, and I travel on the road to do stand-up, and it's like, I wonder what that does to my mind, to have to get used to a city for four days and be alone.
00:34:51.000There's a difference between making 500 extra bucks and being miserable and lonely or having 500 less bucks and hanging out with your friend.
00:34:59.000And it's good for them, too, because it gives these guys who might be landlocked in L.A. I take them on the road, expose them to these clubs, and they kill.
00:35:07.000Like Hinchcliffe, I took him to the comedy works in Denver, and then he got booked as a headliner after he opened for me.
00:35:13.000So it was like, you can do that, and you can get guys in the door that way, too.
00:38:47.000There's like a hamper full by the bed.
00:38:49.000There's a great video in like, I think it's like local news in China, where they see one of these in like a puddle of water and they think it's a new fish.
00:38:57.000That they've discovered a species of fish.
00:43:13.000It's like they make these calculations based on whatever strains are out there, and then they develop a vaccine for that strain of the flu.
00:43:20.000But this year was completely ineffective.
00:43:22.000It's only effective in 20% of the cases.
00:43:25.000So a lot of people that got the flu shot still wound up getting the flu.
00:44:39.000Like, my kid goes to school and they make sure you have, like, we are a no-nut school.
00:44:45.000They have, like, you can't bring nuts in your food.
00:44:48.000You can't bring, like, snacks that have nuts in them.
00:44:51.000You can't do it because some kids, they'll eat those fucking things and they just die.
00:44:56.000So some people, if you inject the same thing in a thousand people, you might have 999 people that have zero problem with it at all, but one person has a real reaction.
00:45:06.000And the question becomes, do we change this drug that's so beneficial to all the 999 people because one person has an adverse reaction, one biological anomaly as it were?
00:45:24.000And then there's also, there's a lot of suspicion of pharmacological greed.
00:45:28.000You know, these people that are making the money, these pharmacy companies, that they're just greedy as fuck and they want, you can get by with like three injections, but they want you to get 20 because the amount of money that they'll earn is substantially more if you get 20. If you mandate that every kid has to get 20 injections.
00:45:43.000Yeah, I mean, it's crazy to me that people are just, like, not doing it.
00:45:47.000It's so scary, because these, you know, you could get, like, a serious disease that we've eradicated, it could get hold again, and then if enough people are not vaccinated against that disease, it could be a fucking real issue.
00:46:23.000Like Ebola or some sort of weird cancer that no one's heard of.
00:46:28.000What I was going to say is I never had a problem with it until I did this TV show and I talked to this Russian guy who worked in the biological weapons department in the Soviet Union where they had trenches filled with anthrax.
00:46:40.000And all these people that are virus experts, we went to the What is it called?
00:46:47.000The Center for CDC down in Galveston, Texas, where they have four-foot-thick walls, and they have all the worst hemorrhagic viruses contained in that lab where they study them and try to devise vaccines and shit for them.
00:51:18.000It's the same thing we were talking about earlier.
00:51:20.000I think that, you know, you don't think about it because you don't have to think about it.
00:51:24.000But if it became a real issue and the government started putting massive amounts of resources to growing crops for all the country, they put their funds into that.
00:52:58.000Just like all these other things we've been talking about.
00:53:00.000When you're forced to recognize the fact that we're running out of food, then the government figures out how to step in and ensure the fact that people get food.
00:53:07.000I think there's going to come a point in time where there's no such thing as waste.
00:53:16.000There's new cars that are so good at emissions that when they're driving through a polluted area, like they were driving through Mexico City, the air that comes out of the car is actually cleaner than the air that goes in.
00:57:08.000And even if they don't kill people all the time, if you were there, like the guy in Cupertino where his son got attacked by a mountain lion, If that guy had a gun, he could have shot it, not even at the animal, just shot it near the animal, and that thing would run, and you're done.
00:58:24.000Jamie, you might even be able to find this, but they take it out of their side and they put it in their butt, but lately they've been noticing that the fat doesn't take and it goes down their legs and it makes their ankles super fat.
00:58:37.000And so people in Colombia wear these like...
00:58:40.000Like Ugg boots type things are really popular because so many girls have had this problem.
00:59:27.000The hypothesis is that fat applied grafts are real grafts It was demonstrated.
00:59:33.000Not only are the graphs real, but they are able to live and persist with the patients growing if the patient gained weight to the glutes area and losing circumference when losing weight.
01:01:05.000The ones where they have implants though, that's scary.
01:01:08.000That's where they're taking like a hunk of something, like a fucking, some sort of a, it's like a rubber thing and they're sticking it in there.
01:01:19.000Isn't it crazy that no matter what context when I see a nice bud, I don't even see whose face it is, I'm just like instantly a little bit turned on.
01:03:00.000The technique is very popular with Australian and American clients who save 40%.
01:03:05.000When compared to the prices back home, but you get 100% more diseases.
01:03:10.000The new technique is offered in Bangkok and works by carefully sawing away, no, cutting away tissue near the intersection of your butt and lower back.
01:03:21.000I mean, you know, it feels like a decent thing to do.
01:03:24.000This is supposedly what Kim Kardashian got.
01:03:27.000She got the Brazilian butt lift, which is what all the Brazilian girls supposedly have.
01:03:31.000That's why you always go, Brazilians have great ass.
01:05:47.000They would take off our little fat things here, so it would actually look better here, and then it would make our butt look together at the same time.
01:05:56.000Or you would be so self-conscious on stage because it looks like you're wearing a fucking diaper.
01:07:20.000People are allowed to have a fat gut, but if you have a fairly normal gut, but an enormous fat ass and fat legs, then people are like, what the fuck?
01:07:31.000You're weirdly proportioned, and I don't understand you, because you don't fit in my database.
01:07:54.000Even if you have no desire to have sex with this woman, if a woman comes near you and she's got a giant Joey Diaz-sized belly, you're kind of freaked out.
01:09:29.000I feel like if I'm already there, I mean, it's like...
01:09:32.000It's so great that someone's willing to be there and do it.
01:09:35.000But isn't it weird that, like, it probably would feel just as good, like, as far as a sensation, but you wouldn't be as aroused, so it wouldn't be as good, and it's all just based on the shape of the body.
01:09:48.000They say you're shallow, and, you know, this is a really, like, surface way of thinking, and it's so immature and so stupid, but those people are all fat.
01:13:42.000If you go to a massage bar now, you go, hello, everybody greets you, they're all nice, you don't feel weird about it, you put on your robe, you go there, some stranger rubs your neck and rubs your back, you feel so much better.
01:13:52.000And you actually have a wonderful time with them.
01:13:56.000But if it was guilty for you to be in your underwear and have some lady dig her elbow into your back, you'd have all these weird connections with it.
01:14:03.000And you would only be able to go to shady places to get that massage.
01:14:06.000It would be like this weird, sort of sinful thing.
01:14:09.000I don't think it has anything to do with the law.
01:14:11.000I think the law has nothing to do with it.
01:16:05.000Like, you go into the Yellow Pages, not even in Vegas, like places where it's totally, like in New York, and there's just escort service, escort service.
01:16:12.000Like, who is really under the impression that they're not having sex?
01:16:15.000Yeah, there's a few people that don't get it.
01:16:42.000Well, it's just stupid that you can tell a person what to do and not to do.
01:16:45.000And the idea being is that if it's legal, everybody's going to go into prostitution or everyone's going to go get prostitutes and the marriages will crumble.
01:17:28.000Well, that's one of the issues with that guy in New York, the guy who was the mayor of New York or the governor of New York, and they found out that he was using prostitutes.
01:18:32.000You should be able to do whatever the fuck you want.
01:18:33.000There's a law that they're passing in some state, I forget, some backwards-ass state, where they're going to make certain tattoos and body piercings illegal.
01:18:56.000But then you think if people get injured all the time, you're dealing with higher health insurance costs, you're dealing with way more flooded hospitals with car accidents and deaths.
01:19:06.000Less dumb people, more dumb people dead.
01:19:08.000Other people will suffer from you being dumb.
01:19:11.000Whereas a tattoo, no one else will suffer from that.
01:19:14.000Yeah, I don't know what the fucking logic behind it is.
01:19:16.000I think it's just they want to change the appearance of the young folk.
01:19:19.000They see these kids with these giant ear holes.
01:19:22.000You know, it freaks them out, these kids these days.
01:19:26.000And a lot of older people especially, they don't want to live and let live.
01:19:29.000They want everybody to be just like them.
01:19:31.000And when these fucking goddamn kids and their spiky earrings and their crazy hair, you know, you just get upset and you want to stop face tattoos.
01:19:55.000They might see the world totally legitimately differently than you do.
01:19:58.000And they might want to look like that lizard man dude who split his tongue and tattooed his face green, had implants, he had dermal implants in his eyebrows.
01:23:12.000You just can't get your nose put back.
01:23:15.000But then when they do that, they cut your fucking scalp open and slide that thing down your fucking head and leave that big horseshoe in the center of your face.
01:23:59.000They put a hole in there, and they spread it more and more and more, until it becomes like, you could literally look in and see their gums and their teeth.
01:27:37.000It's just antiquated from the time where there would be prostitute areas where they would walk around and it would be bad for business or the neighborhood.
01:29:11.000And he took me around with him, like, to do this.
01:29:14.000I remember he had to put cameras in this office, and I was like, because, you know, he had shared custody, so I would have to see him on weekends.
01:29:21.000And he would have to go on weekends and put, like, these little mini cameras with this FBI dude.
01:30:55.000Apparently what happened was he was told by one of the guys, one of the FBI guys, that there's going to be a raid, but we don't have enough evidence yet.
01:31:03.000So we won't arrest you, or we will arrest you still, but we won't prosecute you if you put up cameras and stuff.
01:31:45.000I never, he actually, the reason he got into it, to even go more in depth on it, was he embezzled, I think, two million dollars from Ricoh Cameras in the 80s.
01:32:26.000And then he got caught when there was a new CEO, and he blackmailed The CEO, because he had information on the company that they didn't want coming out.
01:32:33.000And he got out, but he could never work in the industry again, so he became a gambler.
01:33:01.000And then he became a gambler, and this was around the time my mom left him, it was like 86. He bet $300,000 on the Red Sox to win the World Series in 86. Oh my god.
01:34:14.000And he didn't have health insurance, so he didn't have any of that stuff, and he didn't take care of his body, and then he got sick, and it was already, like, stage four or stage five.
01:34:21.000So he didn't know he was sick and just decided, fuck it, I'm not going to pay taxes, I'm just going to ride this out?
01:34:26.000I mean, he didn't pay taxes, I think, for around 15 years he didn't pay taxes.
01:35:07.000My grandmother got arrested when I was a little kid.
01:35:08.000She used to run numbers for the mob, and they wanted her to turn state's evidence, and she wouldn't do it, so they locked her in jail for six months.
01:35:15.000So whenever we would go visit my grandma, she wouldn't be there.
01:39:44.000Even though it's not scientific, for him, it's like, yeah, you know what they used to do?
01:39:48.000They used to take the guys with the fucking biggest dicks and the best athletes, they breed them with the biggest women, and they make the biggest slaves.
01:41:32.000Well, there's a school of thought that it's because that's what they're, you know, in their lack of educational infrastructure, that's what they're able to do.
01:43:01.000But if you say that someone has really good genes because they're a slave, it's derogatory.
01:43:06.000So that's where people take issue with it.
01:43:08.000Oh, I can see why people take issue with it.
01:43:11.000Like, if there was a bunch of people that were from Norway, if you were like some Jewini-Greek type guy and you're on TV, the thing about these guys from Sweden, fucking Norway, is they're bigger because they used to kill everybody.
01:43:21.000They were on horses, they had big swords, they were big guys.
01:44:04.000There were people that grew up in a certain pattern, and that certain pattern was like, it is normal to distrust people of other ethnicities and races.
01:45:56.000If he's contained there, killing all these people that we don't care about, you know.
01:46:01.000Yeah, was that one of the few times in...
01:46:05.000History where there's like, there's a North Korea and a South Korea, and they live right next to each other, and they fucking hate each other, and they look exactly the same.
01:46:14.000Well, it's India and Pakistan is like that, too.
01:46:17.000Similar, but they have different religions, right?
01:51:01.000The guy got elected out, like he left, like he did his term, left, put some puppet government in his place, and then went back and started running it again.
01:53:04.000Well, I think the really scary thing about Hitler for a lot of people wasn't just that he was evil, because there have been evil people throughout history, but that he was incredibly charismatic and we can watch it.
01:57:17.000He used to walk around like a crazy person with a bathrobe on and act like he was nuts.
01:57:23.000And that's how he got away with a lot of what he did.
01:57:26.000Like, he wouldn't talk to anybody in his house, and he would go walk, and he would walk and talk to people, and he would act like he was nuts all the time.
01:57:32.000Well, I think it also came out later that he was nuts.
01:57:36.000Well, I guess if you act like you're nuts long enough, eventually, maybe the, like, nature, it's like, don't hold your eyes like that, we'll stay that way, you know, maybe it's one of those things.
01:57:44.000But that is a good, yeah, you like hide in plain sight kind of thing.
01:57:46.000Well, maybe Bush is a really smart guy, and everybody shut the door.
01:57:59.000But I believe that the powers, the real powers, not like Illuminati type stuff, but the guys like the Roves and the Karl Rove, the people who actually get presidents elected, they don't want to choose people that have a lot of independent Oh yeah,
01:58:24.000And John F. Kennedy, that was like the big knock on him was that he wouldn't play ball.
01:58:28.000Is that, you know, he had this idea in his head of how he was going to do things and they shot it out of him.
01:58:34.000And people, too, you know, they're always like, why don't they just do what they said they were going to do during the election?
01:58:39.000I found out once that, you know, there's a full day when you are elected where they take you to the CIA. If you're elected president, they take you there and they tell you all the secrets.
01:58:49.000Like, they tell you all the secrets that people don't know.