The Joe Rogan Experience - February 19, 2015


Joe Rogan Experience #614 - Christopher Ryan, PhD


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours

Words per Minute

191.03207

Word Count

23,013

Sentence Count

2,077

Misogynist Sentences

32


Summary

In this episode of The Joe Rogan Experience, the comedian talks about growing up in a small town in the Pacific Northwest, growing up as a hippie, and the weirdest thing he's ever done. He also talks about his new job at Goodwill selling used jeans, and what it's like to grow up in the 80s and 90s in Portland, Oregon, and why he thinks it's a good place to be a kid. Also, he talks about why he doesn't want to go to college anymore and why it's not so bad that he's going to college in the big city, New York City. And he's not here to talk about it because he's in a relationship with a girl who wants to be an engineer. This episode is sponsored by Goodwill, and you can get 10% off of your first pair of used jeans if you go to Goodwill. Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. The opinions stated here are our own, not those of our companies, unless otherwise stated. We do not own the rights to any music used in this episode. If you like it, please leave us a rating and review it on Apple Podcasts. or wherever else you re listening to this podcast. Thank you for supporting this podcast and/or sharing it on your social media or sharing it with your friends and family. It helps us spread the word about it. Much love, and support it everywhere else. - thank you. Cheers. Cheers, Cheers! - Cheers - John xx - Joe Rogans and Cheers - John Rocha John Rogan of course, and his music is also a big thank you, John Rogans, too! & his music, too, and all the rest of his work, and much more. XOXOXO - John's music is out there. -- JOGAN -- JOE ROGAN PODCAST (Music: "The Good, the Good, Bad, the Bad, The Good, The Bad, and The Weird, The Weirdest, the Wrong, the Weirdest Thing, and Everything in between. ) , and his new book, "The Other Side Of It All, and Much More!


Transcript

00:00:06.000 The Joe Rogan Experience.
00:00:08.000 Train by day, Joe Rogan Podcast by night, all day.
00:00:13.000 Back from the rain-soaked jungle of the Pacific Northwest where hippies flourish.
00:00:20.000 Chris Ryan, dude, they're out there, man.
00:00:22.000 They are.
00:00:23.000 They're like monkeys in the jungle.
00:00:24.000 They're like bugs in the forest.
00:00:26.000 Yeah.
00:00:28.000 Flowers in the garden, yeah.
00:00:30.000 Oh, that too.
00:00:30.000 You could look at it in a positive way.
00:00:32.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:00:33.000 It's a good place for them.
00:00:35.000 It's an interesting place.
00:00:36.000 You're going to be there soon, right?
00:00:37.000 Yes, this weekend.
00:00:38.000 I'm very excited.
00:00:39.000 I love Portland.
00:00:40.000 I fuck with them about being hippie-infested, but better that than fucking psychos, you know?
00:00:45.000 That's true.
00:00:46.000 It's an interesting place that it's got such a strong culture for such a small city.
00:00:46.000 That's true.
00:00:51.000 You know what I mean?
00:00:52.000 There are huge cities three times that size where you don't even know you're there, right?
00:00:56.000 Based on how people dress, food, attitude, whatever.
00:01:00.000 Portland is so specific and sort of micro-cultural.
00:01:04.000 I was talking to a friend who grew up there the other day, and I asked him, what's the biggest change from 20 years ago?
00:01:10.000 And it was interesting.
00:01:11.000 He said, not eccentricity.
00:01:13.000 It was really eccentric then.
00:01:15.000 It's the same now.
00:01:16.000 You know, that sort of became the calling card of Portland.
00:01:19.000 He said the big difference is there was no smugness 20 years ago.
00:01:22.000 Oh, now people are smug then?
00:01:24.000 Yeah, because I think people who sort of choose that identity then go to Portland.
00:01:32.000 You know what I mean?
00:01:33.000 Like hippies who are actually kind of Nazis.
00:01:36.000 Yeah, there's a lot of those, right?
00:01:37.000 Yeah, like really judgmental hippies.
00:01:39.000 Like super ultra left-wing people who are really just mean, and they just find a target, and the target is a right-wing, and so they go after them.
00:01:47.000 Or they often go after each other.
00:01:47.000 Or whomever.
00:01:49.000 Often.
00:01:50.000 So there's like a fascist mentality that just happens to have chosen a hippie outfit off the rack.
00:01:58.000 Exactly.
00:01:58.000 Exactly.
00:01:59.000 I had an ex-girlfriend who was really into fashion, and I remember one time her saying, we lived in San Francisco for a while, and I remember her saying, yeah, I want to go for a hippie look, and I'm going to buy the fringe.
00:02:11.000 And I just remember thinking, that is so antithetical to what a hippie is, to go buy expensive hippie outfits.
00:02:21.000 Isn't that perfect, though?
00:02:22.000 That's America.
00:02:24.000 It's like spraying body odor deodorant so you'll smell like a dirty hippie, you know?
00:02:29.000 Well, I saw this commercial, or not a commercial, like a website, rather, online that sells used jeans.
00:02:36.000 Right.
00:02:36.000 They sell jeans that people wore, and they have, like, I mean, they have, like, stains on them.
00:02:40.000 Some of them have patches.
00:02:41.000 And they were $270 for a used pair of jeans.
00:02:46.000 Good gig, though.
00:02:47.000 Be a jean wearer.
00:02:48.000 Yeah, or a good gig to be selling these jeans you could probably buy from Goodwill for, you know, really cheap.
00:02:54.000 And I forget the name of the company, but their hook is they're trying to make you look like, you know, you've worn these, man.
00:03:01.000 I don't care about what I look like, man.
00:03:03.000 You're buying $270 used clothes.
00:03:07.000 Instead of wearing them and turning them into that, you're immediately trying to adopt that persona.
00:03:14.000 Right.
00:03:14.000 I'm a comfortable pair of jeans.
00:03:16.000 Yeah.
00:03:16.000 Look at me with my...
00:03:17.000 Like, when you see, like, fake rips, those fake rips that people have, they're crazy.
00:03:21.000 Like, what are you doing?
00:03:22.000 You're buying torn clothes.
00:03:24.000 Yeah.
00:03:24.000 And you think it gives you a look, I'm down home.
00:03:27.000 Yeah.
00:03:27.000 You know, the knees are just all worn out in these pants, man.
00:03:31.000 Yeah.
00:03:31.000 I'm waiting for, you know, it works with clothes.
00:03:33.000 I'm waiting for it to work with the body, you know?
00:03:36.000 Because I just turned 53 recently, and I'm like, when is old and fat going to be in?
00:03:41.000 Because it's about time.
00:03:43.000 When genetic engineering kicks in and everybody looks like Dr. Manhattan.
00:03:46.000 Yeah, then like old ugly fat will be, wow, interesting.
00:03:50.000 It's new.
00:03:50.000 Yeah, it's something different, man.
00:03:53.000 It's like a lot of white guys who are into Asian women will go to Asian countries, like China, for instance, because there's no white men there, or not as many, rather.
00:04:02.000 And so they become an oddity.
00:04:04.000 I've experienced that.
00:04:05.000 I can remember the first night.
00:04:08.000 I can remember the minute I experienced that, thinking like, You know, first everyone's looking at me, okay, I'm a foreigner, whatever, but these women are smiling and flirting, and what's going on?
00:04:21.000 And, you know, eventually someone explained to me, like, dude, you're white.
00:04:24.000 They love, and I've always, the one thing about my body that I would complain about is my skin.
00:04:29.000 I've never liked my skin.
00:04:31.000 Like, I've got as much melanin as anyone else, but it's all in my teeth.
00:04:36.000 So I've got yellow teeth and super pale skin, you know?
00:04:41.000 Do you get burnt real easy when you go to the sun?
00:04:43.000 Oh, completely.
00:04:44.000 What is your background?
00:04:45.000 10 minutes.
00:04:45.000 Irish.
00:04:46.000 Very white, yeah.
00:04:48.000 I'm a redhead, which is like one tweak away from albino.
00:04:52.000 Right.
00:04:52.000 Are you redhead?
00:04:54.000 I used to be.
00:04:55.000 Your hair has gone gray.
00:04:56.000 Do you prefer the gray or the red?
00:04:58.000 You got that kind of good thing going on.
00:05:00.000 You got a lot of blondish sort of accents.
00:05:02.000 Well, that's it.
00:05:03.000 When you mix red with gray, you get blonde, right?
00:05:06.000 But no, until I was in my 30s or 40s probably, I had sort of orange-red hair.
00:05:12.000 Whoa.
00:05:13.000 Yeah, it was dark orange.
00:05:15.000 It was like copper wire kind of color.
00:05:18.000 So it wasn't bozo.
00:05:19.000 But it was close.
00:05:22.000 People are prejudiced against that in men.
00:05:24.000 Yeah, women, it's sexy.
00:05:26.000 What the fuck is that?
00:05:27.000 Men, it's geeky.
00:05:28.000 How does that happen?
00:05:30.000 Well, maybe because of the novelty, and also there's a reputation among redheads for being sort of temperamental, and everybody knows a temperamental woman's a lot of fun in bed, right?
00:05:40.000 Hmm, maybe that's it.
00:05:42.000 And temperamental men are just dangerous drunks.
00:05:44.000 Exactly.
00:05:46.000 Assholes.
00:05:47.000 Irish assholes.
00:05:48.000 That's funny, man.
00:05:49.000 I mean, Raquel Welsh was a redhead, although she was Mexican, so I'm not sure how that happened.
00:05:54.000 Everything I've seen from Raquel Welsh, it was so old I can't remember, or it was black and white.
00:05:58.000 Black and white, yeah.
00:06:00.000 She was a redhead, like a dark red?
00:06:01.000 I think she dyed it, yeah, but just like auburn, reddish kind of.
00:06:05.000 What do you think dye was like back then?
00:06:07.000 Would they just grind up some leaves and fucking rub them in their hair?
00:06:10.000 Well, they probably had, what's that stuff they use in Pakistan?
00:06:15.000 Henna.
00:06:16.000 Oh, yeah.
00:06:16.000 You know, henna goes way back.
00:06:18.000 Yeah, that stuff is strong as shit, too, right?
00:06:21.000 People get those fake henna tattoos.
00:06:23.000 They last for days.
00:06:24.000 Yeah.
00:06:24.000 Can't even scrub them off.
00:06:25.000 The dudes in Pakistan henna dye their beards, which is interesting.
00:06:30.000 It's a nice look.
00:06:31.000 Oh, that's funny.
00:06:32.000 So, like, when they start going gray, that's their version of Just For Men?
00:06:37.000 Exactly.
00:06:38.000 That's funny, man.
00:06:39.000 Yeah.
00:06:39.000 Yeah, no one wants to be gray.
00:06:41.000 That's the one thing, like, universally, people are like, ooh, that's a fucking tricky one, man.
00:06:45.000 You think so?
00:06:46.000 I'm not happy about my gray hairs.
00:06:48.000 I just grew in a little chin beard here, and it's completely white.
00:06:52.000 And I had one five, six years ago when I was traveling, and it was still red.
00:06:57.000 So I don't know what happened between then and now.
00:06:59.000 I got old, man.
00:07:00.000 Oh, so you weren't shaving, you were shaving it completely?
00:07:03.000 Yeah, so it was like a snapshot.
00:07:04.000 There was no gradual process.
00:07:06.000 I still have mostly, like, say, 80% black in my beard, but, like, the sides of my hair, like, where if I had any, this is all going white now.
00:07:14.000 Yeah.
00:07:15.000 All this is gray on the sides.
00:07:16.000 So you think the gray's more traumatic than the balding?
00:07:19.000 Because I'm going through both.
00:07:20.000 Both of them are rough.
00:07:22.000 The gray is probably less traumatic, because I know dudes who are totally gray who dye their hair.
00:07:26.000 And they look fine.
00:07:27.000 Or they look fine with the gray, right?
00:07:29.000 A distinguished gentleman kind of thing.
00:07:31.000 Yeah.
00:07:31.000 I know both.
00:07:32.000 Well, it just represents reality.
00:07:34.000 It represents the finite nature of the body, and you're going through a process.
00:07:38.000 But also, I was talking about how I'm hoping that old and fat comes in now that I'm almost there, or there, arguably.
00:07:47.000 Your sort of balding experience happened at a really good time, historically.
00:07:51.000 I got lucky, sort of, but I fought it for the longest time.
00:07:54.000 I had hair transplants, I took Propecia, and I put Rogaine in there, which is very ironic.
00:07:59.000 When your name is Rogaine, you're going bald and you're buying Rogaine.
00:08:02.000 Perfect sponsorship.
00:08:03.000 Especially when you had to go to the counter.
00:08:04.000 Like, now you can just buy it.
00:08:05.000 But you used to have to go up to the fucking pharmacist.
00:08:07.000 You used to have a prescription for that shit.
00:08:09.000 Yeah, I've bought a lot of Rogaine in my day because my ex-father-in-law in Spain had me bring it back from the States every time I came to visit.
00:08:17.000 He couldn't get it over there?
00:08:18.000 I think it was like he thought it was stronger or better in some way.
00:08:21.000 So it was like the only thing that kept my relationship with him partly civil.
00:08:27.000 I so wish that I shaved my head way, way, way back in the day when I first started worrying about it.
00:08:31.000 Yeah.
00:08:31.000 It would've been way better.
00:08:32.000 Because I love being bald.
00:08:34.000 Like, I really, I don't, if I could grow hair back now, I would still shave it.
00:08:38.000 Right.
00:08:38.000 It's the easiest thing in the world.
00:08:39.000 I don't have to go to, I had a great barber and she was hilarious, a hairstylist, my friend Gabriella, she worked on news radio with me.
00:08:46.000 She was my, she cut my hair forever, you know, but at a certain point in time.
00:08:49.000 She was cutting it.
00:08:50.000 It just looked like dog shit after she was just like it get thinner and thinner.
00:08:54.000 And then once I quit taking the Propecia, then it was like a serious downhill slide.
00:08:58.000 Oh, really?
00:08:59.000 Yeah, shit was just dying left and right.
00:09:03.000 It was horrible.
00:09:04.000 Well, I agree with you.
00:09:05.000 I think that all young men like in their mid 20s should shave their heads.
00:09:09.000 Just so you don't worry about it.
00:09:11.000 If you're going bald, for sure shave your head.
00:09:13.000 I say, I don't like to shave my head.
00:09:15.000 Believe me.
00:09:16.000 Take control.
00:09:17.000 Yeah, it's better than whatever the fuck is going to happen if you don't shave your head.
00:09:20.000 I wanted to shave my head.
00:09:21.000 We were in India.
00:09:22.000 I was with my wife, Kasilda, in India, in Goa for months.
00:09:26.000 We were in Asia for like over a year.
00:09:29.000 And I thought, this is the perfect time to shave my head.
00:09:31.000 Because if I've got a weird shaped head or I look like a dork or whatever, who gives a fuck?
00:09:34.000 Nobody knows me.
00:09:36.000 And I came to her one day.
00:09:38.000 We rented this house on the beach.
00:09:40.000 I was like, hey, cut my hair.
00:09:41.000 I want to shave my head.
00:09:42.000 And she said, oh, please don't do that.
00:09:44.000 I said, why?
00:09:46.000 Well, it's not just because she's used to me looking like a dork, but it was my father had just had a liver transplant.
00:09:52.000 And she said, in India, you shave your head when your father dies.
00:09:56.000 And she's very suspicious, and she's got all these beliefs, and she's like, you know, your father's in rocky shape.
00:10:04.000 You don't want to be shaving your head, you know?
00:10:05.000 Yeah, that's different.
00:10:06.000 Yeah, I could see that.
00:10:07.000 Oh, I missed my chance.
00:10:09.000 Yeah, I missed my chance when I was on news radio.
00:10:11.000 That's when I got my hair transplant, my first one.
00:10:13.000 I got three of them.
00:10:14.000 When I got my first one, I was on news radio, and I was like, God damn, this shit is going, man.
00:10:18.000 I just was seeing it falling out.
00:10:20.000 And I was like, I'm thinking about shaving my head.
00:10:22.000 They're like, don't do it.
00:10:23.000 Don't do it.
00:10:24.000 I'm like, my hair's starting to look like shit.
00:10:27.000 And they talked me out of it.
00:10:28.000 Well, because it would fuck with my character.
00:10:30.000 Because of your character, right?
00:10:31.000 Yeah, because you'd look like a psycho.
00:10:33.000 I'm like, all right.
00:10:34.000 So I didn't.
00:10:36.000 You know, people get used to whatever the fuck you look like.
00:10:39.000 Right, exactly.
00:10:40.000 Like, I have a picture of Joey Diaz back when he was like 210 pounds.
00:10:44.000 It's crazy.
00:10:44.000 It's on my wall in my office.
00:10:45.000 I stole it from the Comedy Store, which is a headshot that he had up.
00:10:49.000 I don't even think it was up.
00:10:50.000 I think I stole it from the office.
00:10:51.000 I don't think they had put it up, so I snacked it.
00:10:54.000 But it's Joey thin.
00:10:58.000 But if he walked in today looking like that, I'd be like, what the fuck is going on?
00:11:02.000 Yeah, but I see him the way he is now.
00:11:02.000 You sick?
00:11:04.000 I give him a big hug, and that's Joey.
00:11:05.000 You get used to the change.
00:11:09.000 Definitely.
00:11:10.000 I was thinking about...
00:11:11.000 I turned 53 last week, right?
00:11:13.000 So I'm thinking about time and all that.
00:11:15.000 And I'm here in LA visiting my parents who are in their 70s, so there's all that.
00:11:20.000 You know, there are a lot of cues for these things.
00:11:22.000 And there's this famous poem by Dylan Thomas where he says, rage against the dying of the light, you know?
00:11:30.000 And I often think, like, I don't know.
00:11:32.000 I don't know.
00:11:33.000 Maybe embrace the darkness, you know?
00:11:35.000 Like...
00:11:37.000 Like, people fight.
00:11:38.000 He lost a fight against pancreatic cancer.
00:11:41.000 Well, you know, maybe that's not a fight worth waging, you know?
00:11:45.000 I don't know.
00:11:46.000 Well, I know a guy who's got pancreatic cancer who's fighting it, and they gave him a very short window to live, and he's pushed way past that, and everybody's completely shocked.
00:11:55.000 But he has this amazing attitude, and he's positive and enjoying life.
00:11:59.000 And I think his point of view is not, instead of rage against the dying of the light, enjoy the moment and live your life...
00:12:06.000 And I think because of that, he's actually living longer.
00:12:09.000 There was a guy, his name was Bill Hoyler, who I became friends with from the internet, from my own message board.
00:12:16.000 He was a young kid who got pancreatic cancer, and he lived for years.
00:12:22.000 And we became friends from online.
00:12:25.000 He had a screen name.
00:12:27.000 I think his screen name was called Pan Can Fighter, like pancreatic cancer fighter.
00:12:33.000 I believe that was his screen name.
00:12:34.000 And I would get him tickets to the UFC and get him tickets to a comedy show.
00:12:38.000 And one time he came to visit me in Florida, and...
00:12:42.000 He came to the show.
00:12:43.000 I got him tickets to the show.
00:12:45.000 He told me he was going to go sleep in his car.
00:12:47.000 I was like, you drove all the way down here.
00:12:48.000 Are you going to sleep in your car?
00:12:49.000 He goes, yeah, I just wanted to see the show.
00:12:50.000 I got him a hotel room.
00:12:52.000 This guy's got cancer.
00:12:53.000 You can't let him sleep in his fucking car.
00:12:55.000 Your immune system is super important when you have cancer.
00:12:58.000 Sleep is super important for your immune system.
00:13:01.000 But he was always so thankful and never weird and like for a kid a young kid who was facing this horrible Disease that almost nobody escapes from it's like the percentage of people that survive one of the worst very very bad But his attitude was always like I'm gonna fucking fight this and I'm gonna he would post these tweets on the messages on the message board like Three years later.
00:13:23.000 I'm still alive motherfucker like that kind of shit and you know he had tubes in his stomach when I saw him once we saw him Eddie Bravo and I Became friends with this kid.
00:13:32.000 We saw him maybe six or seven times over the years.
00:13:36.000 And, you know, one time we saw him, his head, he'd lost all his hair, his eyebrows were gone, he had tubes coming out of his stomach because, you know, some surgery that he had.
00:13:44.000 And he was still alive and he still had a good attitude.
00:13:46.000 It was amazing what an attitude he had.
00:13:49.000 And I think that that attitude is probably what allowed him to live for so long.
00:13:53.000 But he eventually did die recently.
00:13:55.000 As we all do, right?
00:13:57.000 Yeah.
00:13:58.000 Yeah, it's funny.
00:13:58.000 I saw the guy from 60 Minutes who was in a car crash last week.
00:14:03.000 Did you see that?
00:14:04.000 I forget his name.
00:14:06.000 But he's 73. He was 73 years old.
00:14:09.000 And the headline said, this gentleman whose name I can't remember, lost his life in a car crash.
00:14:16.000 And I thought, you know, when you're 73, you're not losing your life.
00:14:20.000 You've already banked 73 years.
00:14:22.000 You're losing a couple years.
00:14:24.000 You're losing whatever was left.
00:14:25.000 11. Yeah, actuarial tables or something.
00:14:29.000 Yeah, right.
00:14:31.000 That's not losing your life.
00:14:32.000 You spent that money.
00:14:33.000 That's like somebody robs you and they got everything.
00:14:36.000 Well, they didn't get everything.
00:14:37.000 They didn't get what I already spent.
00:14:39.000 Right, right, right.
00:14:40.000 It's not like they robbed your whole life savings.
00:14:43.000 Well, I didn't really save my whole life.
00:14:45.000 Exactly.
00:14:47.000 I've never saved him.
00:14:48.000 I've been saving for a couple of weeks.
00:14:49.000 Yeah, really.
00:14:50.000 Look at this picture of Vince McMahon from the WWE. Wow.
00:14:53.000 He's 69 years old.
00:14:55.000 Seriously?
00:14:56.000 Yeah, this is insane.
00:14:57.000 And that's not shopped.
00:14:58.000 I'm going to...
00:14:59.000 Should I forward this to you, Jamie?
00:15:02.000 What's that?
00:15:04.000 Okay.
00:15:05.000 He's on the cover of Muscle& Fitness.
00:15:06.000 Tony Hinchcliffe sent this to me because Tony Hinchcliffe is a fucking WWE fanatic and he's in love with Vince McMahon.
00:15:13.000 But nobody in human history has ever looked like that at 69 years old.
00:15:18.000 Testosterone is a motherfucker.
00:15:20.000 So, if you want to rage against the dying of the light, that's the way to go.
00:15:20.000 Yeah.
00:15:24.000 Get all pumped up.
00:15:25.000 Testosterone replacement therapy.
00:15:26.000 Go to a doctor.
00:15:27.000 They bring it to the same levels.
00:15:28.000 Look at that picture.
00:15:29.000 That's ridiculous.
00:15:30.000 Oh, sorry.
00:15:31.000 It's behind you.
00:15:31.000 Yeah.
00:15:32.000 He doesn't have that other one.
00:15:33.000 That's okay.
00:15:34.000 But it's just ridiculous.
00:15:34.000 He doesn't have it.
00:15:36.000 Like, who the fuck has ever looked like that at 69?
00:15:38.000 Is it good or is it bad?
00:15:40.000 You know, I don't think it would be too terrible if people could live to be a thousand years if I knew that we had the resources to support it.
00:15:47.000 Because I would think, like, man, what kind of amazing philosophy and insight would you get from a thousand-year-old woman who's lived hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years and...
00:15:57.000 And seeing culture shift and change and remembers as much as she could and tells you about life in a way that only a person has lived a thousand years.
00:16:05.000 And we are a little blips.
00:16:07.000 You talk to a guy that lived a hundred years, you're going to be fascinated if he has his faculties.
00:16:12.000 But someone has lived a thousand?
00:16:13.000 My God.
00:16:15.000 Holidays would be a bitch, though.
00:16:17.000 Imagine the great, great, great, great, great grandkids she has to buy shit for.
00:16:20.000 That's true!
00:16:21.000 Imagine the candles on his fucking cake.
00:16:24.000 Dude would die blowing him out.
00:16:26.000 Isn't it ironic, don't you think?
00:16:28.000 I think that we're gonna see a great advance in our lifetime of lifespans.
00:16:34.000 But the real issue is do we have the resources for that?
00:16:36.000 Because one of the things that is going on with our world, as everybody knows, is there's a lot more people today than there's ever been in recorded human history by a giant number.
00:16:47.000 And when you see places like India that are in dire poverty, it's one third of the size of the United States.
00:16:53.000 It has three times as many people plus.
00:16:56.000 It's like, wow, I mean, you're dealing with a lot of poverty and a lot of suffering.
00:17:01.000 And, you know, maybe it's a perspective issue.
00:17:03.000 And maybe what I consider poverty, they consider life, and that if I lived that life, I would be accustomed to it, it would be normalized.
00:17:10.000 But I've got to think that most people don't want to sleep on dirt, and most people don't want to eat food that's bad, or struggle to survive in any way, and dealing with rampant diseases and That you're dealing with in impoverished nations, you know, when they don't have enough medicine to take care of people.
00:17:25.000 I don't know.
00:17:27.000 But if we did have the resources, man, it would be amazing to talk to a thousand-year-old person who knew everything about the...
00:17:34.000 I mean, if you could keep your faculties...
00:17:36.000 How grumpy would they get?
00:17:38.000 These fucking kids today in their electronic hologram music.
00:17:41.000 Pull your pants out!
00:17:42.000 When I was a kid, we had drums.
00:17:44.000 We made out of animal skins.
00:17:45.000 We fucking killed those animals.
00:17:47.000 We chopped those trees down.
00:17:48.000 We stretched the skins.
00:17:48.000 We hollowed them out.
00:17:50.000 We made the pom-pom.
00:17:51.000 Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
00:17:53.000 But seriously, I mean, if you think about, you know, just how much things have changed since you and I were kids, you know, if you're talking to a guy that's 500 years old, it's like, holy shit, man.
00:18:03.000 Well, yeah, the other thing is, a thousand years from now, I mean, if we really could live to be a thousand years old, a thousand years from now, people might not be necessary.
00:18:11.000 I mean, we might have evolved past this state in some sort of a gigantic technological leap.
00:18:16.000 I really believe that when you're looking at the iconic image of an alien, you know, the big heads, the big eyes, and no genitals, I think we're looking at what holds us back as organisms and the things that...
00:18:30.000 If you look at our wars and our greed and all the crazy fucking larceny and crazy shit that people do, it's all attached to the primate body.
00:18:39.000 It's all attached to sex and breeding and greed and guilt and fear and the worry about being mortal.
00:18:46.000 If we can move past that in some genetic engineering leap or if it goes Kurzweil on us, And they develop some insane artificial body that you transfer your consciousness into that is just way more preferable.
00:19:00.000 You know, you got all the buttons you can push for orgasm, all the buttons you can push for adventure.
00:19:04.000 All those exist inside your head and they can access them at any moment.
00:19:08.000 But you're looking at the world.
00:19:10.000 In some crazy 3D, you know, minority report fashion where everything you see, you're interacting with the world in a very different way, you might get a bunch of people to jump ship, and the models might get better, and then the next model might be so pleasurable, so much better than being a human being that it just fucking,
00:19:26.000 people just start jumping ship.
00:19:28.000 Especially if the ship's sinking, you know?
00:19:29.000 Yeah, we're fucking polluting the ocean.
00:19:31.000 Guess what?
00:19:32.000 How about you live off photosynthesis?
00:19:34.000 We're going to cure the whole thing, alright?
00:19:36.000 Just eat algae?
00:19:37.000 No, you live off the sun.
00:19:39.000 Oh, you incorporate algae somehow into the genome or something.
00:19:43.000 Look, there was a snail that I read about recently, or a slug, that shifts between photosynthesis and actually eating things.
00:19:53.000 And it eats certain algae, and then through eating that algae, can actually absorb life and exist off photosynthesis.
00:20:02.000 And this is a new find.
00:20:03.000 So it's like colonized its food, and it's still alive.
00:20:07.000 Yeah, yeah, that's...
00:20:08.000 It's somehow or another taking this ability from its food.
00:20:13.000 Do you know how sea slugs have sex?
00:20:15.000 No.
00:20:15.000 Oh, this is great.
00:20:16.000 Since you mentioned slugs.
00:20:17.000 I wasn't planning to talk about slugs today, Joe, but since you brought it up.
00:20:21.000 Sea slugs are so interesting.
00:20:23.000 They're on the bottom of the ocean.
00:20:24.000 They're just sort of wandering around, blind, right?
00:20:26.000 On the bottom of the ocean.
00:20:28.000 Can they see with those things?
00:20:28.000 What are those?
00:20:29.000 I think they're like motion detectors, you know, whatever, antenna.
00:20:33.000 But when two sea slugs...
00:20:35.000 Now, sea slugs contain both male and female reproductive organs.
00:21:02.000 Right.
00:21:04.000 And at that point, he injects sperm into the other, and so the other becomes female, because now the eggs have been fertilized, and that one's male.
00:21:14.000 Whoa.
00:21:15.000 So it's like when they're fighting to see who's male and who's female, which may be reminiscent of private school or summer camp.
00:21:26.000 Wow.
00:21:28.000 Boy Scouts.
00:21:29.000 Yeah.
00:21:30.000 Who's the boy?
00:21:32.000 Yeah, man, that's fascinating.
00:21:32.000 Religious retreats.
00:21:34.000 That's fascinating.
00:21:35.000 It's amazing when you see all the different varieties of life, when you see all the different forms that it can take, and then you stop to consider that that's just in our Earth's environment.
00:21:46.000 Imagine what they're going to find if they can chip through Europa and get to those oceans.
00:21:50.000 It's very possible there's something alive under there that's being fueled from the heat of the volcanic vents.
00:21:55.000 Most likely nothing.
00:21:56.000 We've never seen anything in the ocean other than like, you know, we see like hermit crabs.
00:22:02.000 They'll use other people's, you know, as a shell.
00:22:05.000 We've never seen anything like build a structure other than that, I don't think.
00:22:09.000 Like nothing you could consider like, look, there's a house.
00:22:12.000 You know, like a beaver.
00:22:13.000 A beaver has a beaver den.
00:22:14.000 You know, even it's crude as fuck, but damn, they're building their own little house.
00:22:18.000 It's kind of crazy.
00:22:19.000 And we obviously have...
00:22:22.000 Insects in the world above ground that build incredible structures.
00:22:25.000 And termites.
00:22:27.000 Have you seen a cross-section of a termite mound?
00:22:27.000 Yeah, oh my god.
00:22:29.000 It's insane.
00:22:30.000 With the vents for keeping the temperature?
00:22:33.000 Are you thinking about leaf cutter ants?
00:22:34.000 Is that...
00:22:35.000 The one where they filled it up with cement?
00:22:37.000 And they bring the leaves back, and then they have a fungus that grows on the leaves, and that's what they eat?
00:22:43.000 Yeah, that's wild.
00:22:43.000 Yes.
00:22:44.000 I mean, termites probably do something similar.
00:22:46.000 Well, the termite thing I'm thinking of, I saw some BBC special recently, and I think it was Termite Mounds in Africa.
00:22:51.000 And what they do is, like, where they have all the eggs has to be an exact temperature and humidity.
00:22:57.000 And this is in the Kalahari Desert, right, which is dry and the temperature changes a lot night to day.
00:22:57.000 Wow.
00:23:02.000 And so they build these things and they've got this chamber and then below the chamber are cooling fins that hang down perfectly spaced and the air circulates through them so that it keeps the temperature exactly the same all the time.
00:23:17.000 Wow.
00:23:18.000 It's like, how does...
00:23:19.000 I mean, there are things in evolution that...
00:23:23.000 Are not understood.
00:23:25.000 There are things where it's like, well, there's no gradual way to get from point A to point B here.
00:23:34.000 How do termites know to do that?
00:23:38.000 How do you encode that in DNA? That doesn't seem possible based on what we know of DNA. Especially since it's not an isolated incidence.
00:23:46.000 This is happening all over the termite world.
00:23:48.000 It's crazy.
00:23:49.000 They don't communicate in a way that we understand.
00:23:52.000 Right.
00:23:52.000 So, yeah, it's very mysterious.
00:23:55.000 I think there's a, you know, you're talking about like quantum leaps and thinking and stuff.
00:23:59.000 I feel like in a strange way, and I'm even hesitant to say this publicly because it's an example of what I'm talking about, like it's really hard to talk about The areas where Darwinian notions of evolution don't quite make it because you immediately get lumped in with the religious lunatics.
00:24:23.000 Or the woo-woo people.
00:24:25.000 Yeah, so it sort of shut down an important conversation, you know, much like the Nazis.
00:24:30.000 I mean, the Nazis were doing all this interesting science that you can't talk about, you know, or you can't talk about eugenics.
00:24:36.000 Right, right, right.
00:24:37.000 Like, well, that's a legitimate thing to talk about.
00:24:39.000 Sure, everything's legitimate to talk about, including when you're talking about Nazi history.
00:24:43.000 Right.
00:24:44.000 Why is that legitimate to talk about, but eugenics as a concept, not saying as an actual practice...
00:24:49.000 I don't think you should take people's lives because they're dumber than you.
00:24:51.000 No, but you could encourage some people not to reproduce, like people who have a genetic propensity to a certain illness.
00:25:00.000 Like, hey, you know, maybe you should adopt, and here's a massive tax credit if you do, right?
00:25:06.000 I agree with that, but man, I don't think you should be able to tell anybody that they can or can't breed.
00:25:10.000 I think education is important with all aspects of breeding, but we all know that people make terrible decisions when it comes to breeding.
00:25:17.000 Because they want to get that nut, son.
00:25:20.000 And then they're like, oh no, I made a person.
00:25:22.000 Alright, now I've got to deal with it.
00:25:23.000 I don't think we should take that away from people just because they have diseases or force them to get an abortion.
00:25:29.000 Also, one valid point that people who have illnesses...
00:25:34.000 I don't want anyone else to have the illness that I have, but I'm alive, and I'm okay, and I have cerebral palsy, and I have whatever I have, and I can still enjoy life.
00:25:46.000 It might not be perfect, but you're telling me that this experience, my experience in life, because I have cerebral palsy or because I have something else, is not valid.
00:25:53.000 And I'm saying that's wrong.
00:25:55.000 I'm hampered.
00:25:55.000 I'm hindered.
00:25:56.000 I certainly can't move the way a regular person moves.
00:25:59.000 However, my experience is my experience, and I can make the most of it, and I enjoy it.
00:26:02.000 And I'm not necessarily trying to give a child this, but I'm not trying to invalidate.
00:26:07.000 There's an argument for that, I think.
00:26:08.000 Right.
00:26:08.000 Okay, but let's look at the counter-argument, right?
00:26:11.000 Because the assumption there is, as you said, you're invalidating my experience.
00:26:15.000 But looked at from another way, what are we comparing that experience to?
00:26:20.000 Right.
00:26:20.000 We're comparing it to nothing.
00:26:24.000 We're not comparing it to, you know, you should die, you should be, you know, we're saying nothing.
00:26:30.000 Now, how do you compare it to nothing?
00:26:32.000 A kid who isn't born isn't suffering, right?
00:26:37.000 So, I mean, I think that the assumption...
00:26:41.000 I've got a cousin, this really smart little kid, he's like five or something, and the other day he was talking about how he, before he was born, he was saying that all fetuses should have...
00:26:54.000 But no password, right?
00:26:56.000 Because they wouldn't understand.
00:26:57.000 How old is he?
00:26:58.000 It's like five, I think.
00:27:00.000 Because it's boring, you know?
00:27:01.000 Boring being a fetus.
00:27:03.000 Right.
00:27:03.000 And I was like, well, my aunt was talking to him and she said, well, where were you when you were a fetus?
00:27:09.000 She said, I was sleepy dead.
00:27:12.000 And he's like, sleepy dead?
00:27:14.000 It's not like dead when you die.
00:27:14.000 Yeah.
00:27:16.000 It's dead before you're born and you're kind of sleepy.
00:27:19.000 So it's sleepy dead.
00:27:20.000 Whoa.
00:27:21.000 And like, okay, yeah, this is kind of a genius kid.
00:27:24.000 What if that kid actually knows something?
00:27:26.000 What if he remembers some shit that we forgot?
00:27:28.000 I'll tell you.
00:27:29.000 I mean, this is going to sound crazy, but I remembered.
00:27:31.000 When I was a kid, I remembered.
00:27:33.000 I remembered the feeling of where I came from before I was born.
00:27:33.000 You remembered what?
00:27:39.000 What?
00:27:40.000 And what happened was...
00:27:42.000 And this is a weird thing.
00:27:43.000 I was just talking to Casilda about this recently.
00:27:47.000 I remembered it as a general...
00:27:50.000 How can I say this?
00:27:52.000 What I remember is...
00:27:54.000 As I got older as a kid, I remember thinking, I'm losing this memory.
00:28:00.000 I'm losing contact with something I know.
00:28:05.000 And as my consciousness was getting more sort of aware as a person, I realized that that was a really valuable thing that I was losing.
00:28:15.000 And so as I was like 12, 13, 14...
00:28:19.000 I was like, I have to remember this.
00:28:22.000 I knew I wouldn't remember it as a memory, so I was creating a record of it that I would remember, if that makes any sense to you.
00:28:31.000 Like, I know...
00:28:31.000 You know what I mean?
00:28:33.000 It's like people who have, I forget what it's called, where they don't recognize faces.
00:28:39.000 Oliver Sacks, the neurologist, has that, and he describes it in one of his books.
00:28:43.000 And he's like, they've got this face blindness.
00:28:46.000 So what they'll do is, if they're having a conversation with you...
00:28:50.000 And they're going to go to the bathroom and they know they're going to come back.
00:28:53.000 They'll be like, okay, the guy with the blue shirt and the thing and the tattoos is Joe.
00:28:59.000 You know, just to create a record in his head and then he'll go to the bathroom so when he comes back he'll remember you're Joe.
00:29:05.000 Yeah, it's a really interesting neurological thing.
00:29:05.000 Wow.
00:29:08.000 I would like to see that guy draw a picture of a face.
00:29:11.000 Yeah, I wonder how that works.
00:29:13.000 Do you know Oliver Sacks?
00:29:14.000 He would be an amazing guest for you.
00:29:16.000 I don't know.
00:29:16.000 I'd love to have him on, though.
00:29:17.000 But you know who he is.
00:29:18.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:29:19.000 I've heard of him.
00:29:19.000 I've heard of him actually describe that.
00:29:21.000 I forget what show I was listening to, but he was actually describing that issue of not knowing what people's faces necessarily look like.
00:29:29.000 Yeah.
00:29:31.000 It's hard to, like, imagine that.
00:29:34.000 It is, right.
00:29:34.000 Because it's something that's so automatic to us.
00:29:37.000 Yeah.
00:29:37.000 He also wrote a book about hallucinogens, hallucinations, which was very interesting because it was the first, this came out maybe five years ago, and it was, it struck me as the first, like, mainstream A sort of non-apologetic discussion of the use of hallucinogens by a very mainstream doctor who's written all these bestsellers.
00:30:00.000 And he talks about when he lived in Topanga in the 60s and he took some acid.
00:30:05.000 You have to get in there.
00:30:05.000 Of course he did.
00:30:06.000 Exactly.
00:30:07.000 To go to the pharmacy market to get the acid.
00:30:09.000 That place is ridiculous.
00:30:11.000 I was looking at a house there once, and these fucking hippies talked me out of even looking any further.
00:30:15.000 They were like, the house had a tennis court behind it.
00:30:18.000 They're like, if you buy the house, you're going to let the community use the tennis court, right?
00:30:21.000 I go, what?
00:30:22.000 That's right under my bed.
00:30:24.000 Like, get the fuck out of here.
00:30:25.000 No, I'm not going to let...
00:30:26.000 Well, you fucking people are too much.
00:30:27.000 Can you imagine all these dirty hippies showing up Sunday morning, you're trying to sleep in, you hear, boop, boop, boop, boop.
00:30:32.000 Hey, man, that was in bounds.
00:30:34.000 Knew it wasn't, man.
00:30:36.000 You should share the score.
00:30:38.000 Fuck you.
00:30:39.000 You sound like the Californians on Saturday Night Live.
00:30:39.000 That's good.
00:30:42.000 That's them, dude.
00:30:43.000 It's so true.
00:30:43.000 I know.
00:30:45.000 I want to go back to what you were saying, though, like your memory of before you were born.
00:30:51.000 You know, I was listening to this Radiolab podcast.
00:30:53.000 I know that I've said that about a million times.
00:30:55.000 If you're playing the podcast drinking game, it's time to have a shot.
00:30:59.000 Because I listen to that podcast all the time.
00:30:59.000 Drink up.
00:31:01.000 But they were talking about memories and how poor people's memories truly are and how many people...
00:31:08.000 Like, believe that they have an idea in their head that's carved in stone.
00:31:12.000 This is what happened.
00:31:13.000 But if you look at the actual events, the provable actual events in comparison to their idea of what happened, oftentimes they're way off.
00:31:22.000 Eyewitness reports are terrible.
00:31:25.000 Yeah, often people see that when they go back to where they grew up.
00:31:28.000 You know, and you go back to your home and your house looks smaller, everything looks different.
00:31:33.000 It's just like, wow, it's like somebody made a replica of where you grew up but did a shitty job because they didn't have all the data.
00:31:39.000 Do you ever feel betrayed when you had that experience?
00:31:42.000 No, no, no.
00:31:44.000 The opposite for me.
00:31:45.000 When I went back to where I grew up, it was amazing.
00:31:48.000 I took my wife and my kids and we walked through the neighborhood there.
00:31:53.000 It wasn't even a neighborhood.
00:31:54.000 I lived across the street from the Charles River.
00:31:56.000 It was this big park-like area.
00:31:58.000 And I would go fishing.
00:32:00.000 Down the river, there was like this pond I would catch bass at.
00:32:04.000 And I took them on these walks that I used to take through the woods.
00:32:08.000 And I was like, this is a crazy spot to grow up.
00:32:10.000 I didn't realize how weird it was.
00:32:12.000 I grew up near this place called Echo Bridge.
00:32:14.000 And Echo Bridge is in a place called Newton Upper Falls.
00:32:17.000 And I had a waterfall across the street from my house.
00:32:19.000 And I never realized how cool this was until I took the kids there and walked around.
00:32:24.000 I was like, wow, this is a wild place to be.
00:32:26.000 Like all the places where I used to hang out with my friends and just...
00:32:29.000 It's nice, and it wasn't all built up.
00:32:31.000 There's still some empty space.
00:32:34.000 It's the Hemlock Gorge Reservation.
00:32:36.000 That's the area.
00:32:38.000 I think it's preserved.
00:32:39.000 That sounds nice.
00:32:40.000 I always imagine you like inner city, because I remember you talking about rough neighborhoods and stuff.
00:32:45.000 I lived in Newton from the time I was 14 to the time I was 17. Well, that was high school, you know, 14 to 17. And then like a year and a half, two years after that, I stayed there.
00:32:56.000 But before that, I lived in a place called Jamaica Plain.
00:32:59.000 Jamaica Plain was rough.
00:33:00.000 We only lived there for about a year and a half, maybe two years at the most.
00:33:05.000 But I went to high school or grammar school in this, I think it was Curly, I think that was the name of the grammar school.
00:33:11.000 But it was bad, man.
00:33:13.000 It was real bad.
00:33:14.000 Jamaica Plain has become more gentrified now.
00:33:16.000 But when I lived there in 1979, 1980, I guess it was, somewhere around then.
00:33:22.000 I think my first year of high school was 81. It was really bad.
00:33:26.000 There was a lot of, like, bad shit going down.
00:33:29.000 There were 17-year-old kids that were in the seventh grade.
00:33:32.000 You know, they would like never graduated and like you'd be in, you know, I was like a little kid and I was going to class and it was just fucking full grown adults that are in my class.
00:33:40.000 You know, there's guys and girls making out the back of the class was all these like inner city kids like they were so I come from Florida where I lived before that in a college community in Gainesville, Florida and we moved to like the only place in Boston that my parents could afford.
00:33:55.000 It was this Jamaica Plain place and they worked really hard to get us out of there and moved us to Newton and Newton was like way more urban way more relaxed but Jamaica Plain was fucking sketchy It was sketchy.
00:34:06.000 There's a lot of crime like there's breaking and enterings in our in our neighborhood all the time You know like we got a dog just to bark to let us know if someone's trying to get into the house It was very weird.
00:34:17.000 It was a weird place to live and then Newton was a total different place That's cool.
00:34:22.000 That's something you and I have in common, moving as kids.
00:34:24.000 I moved a lot as a kid.
00:34:26.000 I went to three high schools.
00:34:27.000 It's real common with people that are interesting, for whatever reason.
00:34:32.000 Yeah, I mean, I have a younger sister, and she and I sort of dealt with it in diametrically opposed ways.
00:34:40.000 Like, she...
00:34:43.000 I had developed a real need to be part of the community.
00:34:46.000 So as soon as we moved to...
00:34:47.000 We lived in Jacksonville, for example.
00:34:49.000 As soon as we were in Jacksonville, she developed the local accent within a week.
00:34:53.000 You know, I never developed any accent.
00:34:55.000 I sort of...
00:34:56.000 I became the pedantic, arrogant asshole who doesn't need friends.
00:34:59.000 You know, that's how I dealt with it.
00:35:01.000 Right.
00:35:02.000 I mean, I got used to eating alone in the lunchroom.
00:35:02.000 You know, okay.
00:35:05.000 You know, like, reading a book.
00:35:07.000 Like, I got my book.
00:35:08.000 I'll ignore the rest of you fuckers.
00:35:09.000 I mean, I made friends, but...
00:35:11.000 The point was that I wasn't reaching out.
00:35:17.000 And then that worked great in the rest of my life, traveling all the time, living overseas, all that.
00:35:23.000 I don't have a home, and you're like this too, right?
00:35:25.000 You move enough, it's like, well, okay, I lived here for a couple years, I lived here for a couple years, but when people say, don't you miss your home, all your friends, the people you grew up with?
00:35:35.000 I don't know the people I grew up with, you know, they were stages.
00:35:39.000 I'm still friends with a couple guys from high school.
00:35:43.000 Really?
00:35:43.000 Yeah.
00:35:43.000 Yeah, me too.
00:35:44.000 Yeah, one guy from high school, actually.
00:35:46.000 I have two.
00:35:47.000 Two buddies from high school that we talk.
00:35:49.000 One that I'm pretty close with.
00:35:51.000 I saw him last when I was in Boston.
00:35:53.000 And, you know, we've known each other since we were like 14. So it's weird, you know, seeing us now.
00:35:59.000 He has grown kids.
00:36:00.000 We went to dinner with him and his kids.
00:36:01.000 His daughter's in her 20s.
00:36:02.000 I'm like, this is crazy, man.
00:36:04.000 I've known his wife forever, too.
00:36:06.000 It's interesting to see.
00:36:09.000 He grew up in that neighborhood.
00:36:11.000 He lived there, and we became friends when I moved into the neighborhood.
00:36:16.000 Almost all my friends, like Joey, Ari, like all these guys moved all over the place.
00:36:22.000 You know, Duncan, you know, Brian Callens, the worst, like not the worst, I shouldn't say, but the most experienced because he lived in Saudi Arabia.
00:36:30.000 His family was involved in international finance.
00:36:34.000 And so he lived in all these crazy Middle Eastern countries.
00:36:37.000 He lived in Afghanistan, I believe.
00:36:38.000 That's a whole different level.
00:36:40.000 Oh, he lived everywhere, man.
00:36:41.000 Yeah.
00:36:42.000 And he's one of the most interesting people I know because of that.
00:36:45.000 There's pros and cons, I think.
00:36:47.000 Definitely.
00:36:47.000 There's definitely a more calming confidence of growing up in a neighborhood where you know all the people.
00:36:53.000 But there's also a limiting aspect to that, too, especially if it goes wrong.
00:36:58.000 Depends on the neighborhood, right?
00:36:59.000 Yeah, sure.
00:37:00.000 A bad neighborhood or if you get labeled as a person in the neighborhood where the kids ostracize or they get mad at you for something.
00:37:06.000 Right.
00:37:07.000 Yeah, it's like you redefine yourself when you move to new places.
00:37:10.000 That's like the new girl.
00:37:11.000 Where's she from?
00:37:11.000 Oh, she's the new girl.
00:37:12.000 She's from Portland.
00:37:13.000 Oh, does she smell like feet?
00:37:14.000 You know, like you see her.
00:37:15.000 She's wearing a granny dress.
00:37:17.000 She's got a patchouli on her thing, dude.
00:37:19.000 I like patchouli.
00:37:21.000 Oh, good for you.
00:37:22.000 You're the guy.
00:37:23.000 You're the fucking problem.
00:37:24.000 I'm not one guy.
00:37:26.000 I'm the one guy.
00:37:28.000 I like patchouli.
00:37:29.000 I like prune juice.
00:37:30.000 I mean, I know it's a joke, but it tastes good.
00:37:32.000 It's good for your body, too.
00:37:33.000 I guess.
00:37:34.000 It makes you shit or not shit.
00:37:36.000 I don't even know.
00:37:36.000 I know it affects shit somehow.
00:37:38.000 But, I mean, I just like the flavor.
00:37:40.000 And patchouli smells good to me.
00:37:43.000 It's not the worst smell.
00:37:44.000 I like incense.
00:37:45.000 That's a very hippie thing.
00:37:46.000 People get angry at you.
00:37:48.000 You don't like the smell of incense?
00:37:50.000 Not if they're anything but Nag Champa.
00:37:53.000 I like the Nag Champa.
00:37:54.000 I've got some stuff laying around here somewhere.
00:37:55.000 I've got one right there.
00:37:57.000 Tell me if this one smells good to you.
00:37:58.000 I'm sure it'll be fine, yeah.
00:38:02.000 Hey, shout out to Duncan.
00:38:04.000 Are we shouting out?
00:38:05.000 White people shouting out?
00:38:06.000 Well, you mentioned Duncan, and when I tweeted that I was going to be on the show, everyone's like, oh, you and Joe and Duncan!
00:38:14.000 Yeah, Duncan couldn't make it.
00:38:15.000 He's in Big Sur, living the time of his life.
00:38:17.000 He is.
00:38:18.000 That fucker.
00:38:18.000 He likes it up there.
00:38:19.000 Oh, he loves it up there.
00:38:21.000 He's trying to talk me into buying a house.
00:38:22.000 Dude, I'll watch your house when you're not there!
00:38:25.000 What a favor.
00:38:26.000 He'd be doing you.
00:38:28.000 Oh, he would be.
00:38:28.000 I would do that, too.
00:38:30.000 I would totally trust him.
00:38:31.000 It's pretty cool up there.
00:38:32.000 I mean, that's...
00:38:33.000 It's a very unusual place because you can't really support a large population.
00:38:36.000 It's like you can only live so far in.
00:38:38.000 You can't drive in and out.
00:38:39.000 You're kind of butted up against a mountain.
00:38:40.000 The water's right there.
00:38:41.000 It's like, this is all you got.
00:38:42.000 You spend time at Esalen, ever?
00:38:44.000 Talking about hippies?
00:38:44.000 Never.
00:38:45.000 No.
00:38:46.000 I was invited to do a workshop there.
00:38:49.000 How's that smell?
00:38:49.000 Is that okay?
00:38:50.000 I don't even smell it yet.
00:38:51.000 You don't smell it?
00:38:52.000 It's going that way.
00:38:53.000 Damn, what's wrong with you?
00:38:54.000 Yeah.
00:38:54.000 I guess I'm wrong with your nose, son.
00:38:55.000 You should smell the fuck out of that.
00:38:56.000 Oh, there it is, yeah.
00:38:57.000 How's that?
00:38:58.000 It's nice.
00:38:58.000 You sure?
00:38:59.000 Don't lie to me, man.
00:38:59.000 I'll put it right out.
00:39:00.000 No, it's all right.
00:39:00.000 I hardly noticed that.
00:39:01.000 I tell you.
00:39:02.000 I mean, I don't know.
00:39:02.000 It must be the Coke.
00:39:03.000 Oh, sorry.
00:39:04.000 Did I say that out loud?
00:39:05.000 How dare you?
00:39:06.000 That's a bad drug.
00:39:08.000 Don't you understand?
00:39:09.000 That's a drug.
00:39:10.000 I had access.
00:39:11.000 I mean, you're in this position all the time, I'm sure, but having access to the best of the best of something.
00:39:18.000 I knew a guy in college who was the son of an oil minister from a country I won't name, just to keep me out of trouble.
00:39:25.000 He had a private jet.
00:39:27.000 He used to fly to Colombia.
00:39:29.000 He had a diplomatic bag, so he could bring anything into the country.
00:39:32.000 Oh my God.
00:39:33.000 He'd bring this shit into the country, and he was in this frat, and I knew someone who was in the frat, and I was never a frat boy at all, but they would invite me, and these yellow rocks of coke, you know?
00:39:46.000 I mean, I went to this dumbass college where everybody was rich, so the drug scene there was off the charts.
00:39:53.000 And I've done the best Coke there is, right?
00:39:56.000 I mean, I know the guy who invented MDMA. You know, it's like I've had these really good connections for drugs.
00:40:04.000 And Coke sucks.
00:40:07.000 The best Coke in the world is shit.
00:40:11.000 I don't get it.
00:40:13.000 Wow.
00:40:14.000 I mean, my sense is that it affects a certain personality structure in a really pleasant way, and I don't have that structure.
00:40:23.000 So for me, hallucinogens are like, boom, that's pushing my button, right?
00:40:28.000 Coke just made me fucking nervous and drink too much.
00:40:31.000 Well, you're a self-deprecating guy, and you joke around a lot, and you're also introspective.
00:40:37.000 And I think that one of the things that people don't like about people that are coked up is that they want to talk about themselves.
00:40:44.000 They want to tell you how fucking badass they are.
00:40:46.000 They want to brag.
00:40:47.000 They want to talk about, like, making money.
00:40:50.000 We're going to buy this forest.
00:40:52.000 We're going to fucking...
00:40:53.000 You know what I mean?
00:40:54.000 Mike Young used to always talk about how people on coke always want to start a business with you.
00:41:01.000 And it's really kind of true.
00:41:02.000 It's like they always have these crazy grand plans.
00:41:08.000 I've never been interested in it.
00:41:10.000 I got lucky and I ducked it.
00:41:12.000 When I was a kid, I've told this story a hundred times, but I had a friend, my friend that I'm still friends with in high school, his cousin used to sell it.
00:41:19.000 And his life went down the toilet, and I watched him wither away, lost like a shitload of weight, became weird.
00:41:25.000 You know, just always on coke.
00:41:27.000 And when he wasn't on coke, he was just exhausted.
00:41:29.000 You know, it's just like, Jesus, that looks like knowing someone who got bit by a vampire.
00:41:33.000 Yeah.
00:41:34.000 Like, oh my God.
00:41:35.000 Like, you got that bug.
00:41:36.000 They got you.
00:41:37.000 It's like you're taking all the energy from part of your life and concentrating it in the few hours after you do the coke.
00:41:37.000 Yeah.
00:41:43.000 And like, well, what are you going to do with all that energy except irritate people?
00:41:46.000 But I knew a girl, and she was a great girl.
00:41:48.000 She wasn't a mean person.
00:41:49.000 She wasn't nasty, materialistic.
00:41:51.000 She was beautiful.
00:41:52.000 She was really nice and sweet and kind.
00:41:54.000 But fuck, she loved coke.
00:41:56.000 And she would feel bad about it.
00:41:56.000 Goddamn.
00:41:58.000 She'd go, I fucking love it.
00:41:59.000 And I'd be like, really?
00:41:59.000 I love doing coke.
00:42:00.000 Like, what?
00:42:01.000 You know, I was not curious enough to want to do it, but listening to her, you know, she knew it was bad, knew she shouldn't do it, didn't want to do it anymore.
00:42:08.000 But she'd tell you, Goddamn, what I'm doing, I love doing coke.
00:42:11.000 In my experience, the people who tend to get really hooked on coke are people who have issues.
00:42:19.000 They feel bad about themselves.
00:42:21.000 They feel they've got a lack of self-esteem.
00:42:24.000 They feel like they're not good enough.
00:42:26.000 They're not whatever.
00:42:27.000 There's shame and all that.
00:42:28.000 Because the coke takes that away for a while.
00:42:30.000 That totally makes sense in this case because this woman her mother was like really overbearing and her mother was like super alpha successful.
00:42:39.000 Her mother was a single mom and was like like no man's gonna fucking run me and so she was a lawyer and she ran successful business.
00:42:49.000 She had a law firm and she was like super like Intense with her daughter about achievement, about pursuing things, about, you know, don't eat the wrong foods and, you know, eat, you know, it was like really like overbearing and gave her a hard time about her weight.
00:43:02.000 Like you're too fat.
00:43:03.000 You're never going to be a model.
00:43:04.000 And like, oh, and so I guess the Coke was like, oh, free.
00:43:08.000 I don't have to think about it.
00:43:10.000 Give her like maybe she had a deficit created by her mom's constant, you know, never letting her just be herself.
00:43:17.000 Yeah.
00:43:18.000 You know who Gabor Mate is?
00:43:20.000 No.
00:43:21.000 Gabor Mate.
00:43:22.000 I didn't know the name.
00:43:23.000 I've only seen it written.
00:43:25.000 He's a cool guy.
00:43:25.000 Yeah.
00:43:26.000 If you ever want to have him on the show, let me know.
00:43:28.000 He's a friend of mine.
00:43:30.000 He's a very interesting guy.
00:43:31.000 He's a doctor who works with addicts.
00:43:34.000 He's been working with addicts in Vancouver, in the slum part of Vancouver for a long time.
00:43:39.000 A lot of real down-and-out people.
00:43:41.000 And he also is very interested in alternative approaches to addiction.
00:43:47.000 He's written about ayahuasca as a way of dealing with addiction, treating addicts and all that.
00:43:53.000 But anyway, his theory is that all addiction is due to trauma.
00:44:00.000 It has nothing to do with the substance or the activity.
00:44:03.000 That's just how it manifests, right?
00:44:05.000 But it's all about psychological trauma.
00:44:08.000 It's all trying to alleviate suffering of some point, of some kind.
00:44:12.000 And it's interesting, his research sort of meshes very well with this experiment that was done, also in British Columbia.
00:44:21.000 I can't remember.
00:44:22.000 Williamson, I think, was the scientist's name.
00:44:24.000 You know those famous studies where they give rats, like, they've got a water bottle that's just water and then another one that's got coke in it?
00:44:33.000 And the rats will just keep doing the coke and they'll forget to eat and then they, you know, like, die.
00:44:37.000 Like, these people you're talking about lost all this weight and just, like, completely focused.
00:44:43.000 This guy looked at that.
00:44:44.000 He was a professor, a scientist.
00:44:45.000 He looked at that and he's like, okay, well, that's the sort of main study that everybody cites that shows that Coke is addictive and it's Coke that causes the problem and it's the substance and molecular problems.
00:44:58.000 But what if we took those rats, same kind of rats, but instead of just being in a cage where there's nothing to do, I think?
00:45:24.000 Right.
00:45:25.000 So there's an argument to be made, a strong argument, that it's not about substances.
00:45:30.000 Like I was saying, it's about the way this substance intersects with whatever your particular suffering is.
00:45:36.000 Right, so these rats in a cage are obviously suffering because they're not in a natural environment.
00:45:40.000 They're in a fucking cage.
00:45:41.000 There's nothing to do except, like, get high, so they get high.
00:45:44.000 That's a very good point that I never considered.
00:45:46.000 That is a very, very good point.
00:45:48.000 It's called Rat Park.
00:45:50.000 If anyone wants to Google it, just Google Rat Park, because that's what he called this, you know, like, sort of enclosure that he made for the rats.
00:45:56.000 Imagine being a rat, being stuck in a fucking fluorescent lighting room, and the fucking metal cage, and the little water bottle you gotta suck on, big tooth, ugh, the fucking life they live is dog shit.
00:46:08.000 Yeah, you're in a prison cell.
00:46:10.000 I imagine, you got a guy in solitary confinement, right, and you're offering him to get high.
00:46:16.000 Of course he's gonna get high.
00:46:17.000 And you're being surrounded by giants.
00:46:20.000 Everywhere you go, there's just enormous creatures who could easily reach in and just snuff your life out by squeezing.
00:46:26.000 It's ridiculous.
00:46:28.000 And by nature, you're terrified, right?
00:46:30.000 Because you're a prey animal.
00:46:31.000 Yeah, you should be running from everything, and all of a sudden you can't run, ever.
00:46:35.000 You can't hide, right.
00:46:36.000 You're in a cage, and they just reach in and grab you.
00:46:39.000 And they fucking give you coke.
00:46:41.000 Yeah.
00:46:42.000 Which makes it even more apparent.
00:46:43.000 What a fucking shitty life!
00:46:46.000 Goddamn, PETA. You might have a point.
00:46:48.000 I interviewed this guy recently talking about animal stuff.
00:46:52.000 He was doing his PhD in University of Pennsylvania.
00:46:56.000 And he was working in psychology, but there were chimps involved in his research.
00:47:01.000 And so they would come into these cages, but they had this big area outside, back behind the cages, right?
00:47:07.000 So at night they would go hang out and there were trees and stuff and whatever.
00:47:11.000 And so this is in the, I guess, 60s or 70s.
00:47:14.000 And so he would hang out until everybody went home and he was alone.
00:47:20.000 And then he'd sneak back into the area where the chimps were, where he wasn't allowed.
00:47:24.000 Nobody was allowed, right?
00:47:25.000 Like walking around with chimps.
00:47:27.000 But he was like, fuck it, if they kill me, I don't think they'll kill me, no problem.
00:47:30.000 So he was a hippie, right?
00:47:32.000 Actually, he's the guy who now owns this chain of paleo restaurants in Portland.
00:47:37.000 Really cool guy, Richard.
00:47:39.000 Figures.
00:47:40.000 Yeah.
00:47:41.000 He opened the first mountain bike shop in the country.
00:47:44.000 He's a very good businessman.
00:47:46.000 Then he went to Portland because he wanted to be in a place where you could get all your supplies for a restaurant, all the food, within a hundred mile radius.
00:47:58.000 And he studied all over the country, and he said Portland's a place where everything can be grown within 100 miles.
00:48:03.000 He sort of was ahead of the mountain biking craze, then he was ahead of the sort of farm-to-table thing, and he opened a chain called Laughing Planet, which there were like 15 or 20 of these vegetarian burrito shops in Portland.
00:48:19.000 Sold that because he had quintuple bypass surgery.
00:48:23.000 Whoa.
00:48:24.000 And he thought he was going to die.
00:48:25.000 Sold that.
00:48:26.000 Bought this beautiful farm where he grows stuff now.
00:48:28.000 It's just amazing.
00:48:30.000 Quintuple bypass surgery and he's a vegan mountain biker?
00:48:32.000 He was a vegetarian.
00:48:34.000 Not vegan, but he was a vegetarian.
00:48:36.000 And so that's what he said.
00:48:37.000 He's like, I work out.
00:48:39.000 I'm eating vegetarian for 20 years.
00:48:41.000 What the fuck?
00:48:42.000 And he started reading about, like, wait a minute, this idea of low-fat is bullshit.
00:48:47.000 Oh, he wasn't taking healthy fats.
00:48:49.000 Right.
00:48:50.000 So now he's shifted to paleo, and now he's got this expanding business of paleo restaurants.
00:48:58.000 Anyway, what am I talking about?
00:48:59.000 Oh, so he would go back with these chimps.
00:49:01.000 And he told this hilarious story where he's with this chimp, and he'd go back there and smoke a joint at the end of the day, and the chimps are wandering around.
00:49:09.000 And one day this chimp comes over and sits down next to him, and he's smoking a joint, and the chimp reaches out.
00:49:15.000 No!
00:49:16.000 He does not get this chimp high.
00:49:18.000 He hands the joint to the chimp.
00:49:20.000 No, he does not.
00:49:21.000 The chimp hits it and gives it back to him.
00:49:22.000 Oh, my God.
00:49:24.000 That would be the greatest video ever on YouTube.
00:49:28.000 There's one of a chimp fucking a frog.
00:49:30.000 Have you ever seen that one?
00:49:31.000 Oh, I have seen that.
00:49:32.000 That's kind of sad, yeah.
00:49:33.000 Not for the chimp.
00:49:35.000 But one of a chimp smoking a joint with a dude, especially a hippie, that would be the ultimate.
00:49:42.000 Don't bogart it, man.
00:49:44.000 And if you did bogart it, what are you going to do?
00:49:46.000 You better just give the chimp the joint and shut the fuck up before it rips your arms off.
00:49:50.000 Exactly.
00:49:51.000 And what's a high chimp like, you know?
00:49:53.000 Probably pretty mellow.
00:49:54.000 It's like a paranoid rat.
00:49:56.000 Like, how do you know?
00:49:57.000 Well, that's another thing.
00:49:58.000 We're talking about rats being in cages.
00:50:01.000 I got super high once, and I wrote a piece way back a long time ago on my blog.
00:50:08.000 Before my 2009 special, before I started podcasting, I used to write a lot and put it up in blog form.
00:50:14.000 And one of the things I wrote about is, it's called Animal Prison.
00:50:17.000 And it became like the foundation for a lot of jokes that I went to use in some of my specials.
00:50:21.000 But it was about getting high.
00:50:23.000 I got really high once, and I went to the zoo.
00:50:25.000 And I was super depressed.
00:50:27.000 Yeah.
00:50:27.000 Not, you know, me personally, my personal life, but being at the zoo stoned made me, like, especially edibles.
00:50:34.000 You know, I had eaten a pot something or another cookie or something like that, and I was, like, really fucked up about this.
00:50:40.000 I'm like, this is just not fair.
00:50:43.000 It's cruel.
00:50:45.000 It's cruel, and it's cruel in a way we're insensitive to.
00:50:48.000 And the joke was like, hey, man...
00:50:49.000 I watched the chimps.
00:50:50.000 They were playing with the tires, swinging around.
00:50:53.000 Looks like they're having a good time.
00:50:54.000 I'm like, yeah.
00:50:54.000 Well, you can go to prison, and you'll see dudes playing basketball.
00:50:57.000 It doesn't mean it's awesome.
00:50:59.000 People do what they have to do, and they're in prison to have fun, but they don't want to be there.
00:51:04.000 And that's the same thing with these animals.
00:51:06.000 The idea that somehow or another they're being saved...
00:51:10.000 I guess we're supposed to accept that they're doing conservation work, for sure, and that some of these animals can only exist in captivity in this day and age, or at least we have to have some of them in captivity to ensure their survival, because humans are pushing in on their area.
00:51:24.000 Where they live, but fuck man, that's, especially with intelligent animals, that's depressing as shit.
00:51:29.000 I've got a friend, I just did a podcast with him the other day, he's sort of been hired by the whole marine mammal consortium To try to help them deal with their image problem from blackfish and blah blah blah,
00:51:29.000 Yeah.
00:51:45.000 right?
00:51:46.000 So we were talking about this and he's been working a lot in this place in Florida where the dolphins are used for therapeutic, you know, with like vets with PTSD and kids who are autistic and stuff and the dolphins seem to have a real sensitivity and there's an interaction.
00:52:04.000 And a lot of them are born in captivity.
00:52:06.000 If you let them loose, they'd be dead within hours.
00:52:09.000 You know, they don't know how to survive and stuff.
00:52:11.000 But anyway, we're talking about this.
00:52:13.000 And, you know, I said, like, okay, you know, what are you going to do about the...
00:52:18.000 I understand he has good arguments about the dolphins and the smaller animals.
00:52:22.000 But, like, what are you going to do about the orcas, man?
00:52:25.000 You know, how do you fix that?
00:52:26.000 And he said, there's no way to fix that.
00:52:28.000 Like, they just should not be there.
00:52:30.000 Because you can't build an enclosure that is even arguably big enough and interesting enough for them.
00:52:37.000 And they're social, so you can't just have one.
00:52:39.000 You've got to have, like, 15 of them.
00:52:40.000 You know, they're very community-based animals.
00:52:44.000 Isn't it possible that they could take an area in a bay, like a very large area, and take all the world's captive orcas and transport them to this large bay?
00:52:54.000 Like take a large area in a part of the world that we don't go, but it's habitable.
00:52:59.000 Inhabitable for them.
00:52:59.000 Right.
00:53:01.000 And then, you know, fence something off underwater.
00:53:04.000 Spend a lot of money to fix this issue.
00:53:06.000 And then slowly but surely reintroduce them to the wild.
00:53:11.000 Give them a steady source of food.
00:53:13.000 Like, provide them with food.
00:53:14.000 And then provide them with food that you have to catch.
00:53:17.000 Like, give them more and more food that's like you're gonna let a tuna go or whatever the fuck it is.
00:53:22.000 Habituate them.
00:53:22.000 Yeah, habituate them and make it a project.
00:53:24.000 I don't buy the idea that it's impossible to take them and let them live in the wild.
00:53:28.000 You can take a 40-year-old man and teach him how to go forage through the woods.
00:53:32.000 I mean, look at Survivorman.
00:53:33.000 That fucking guy, he taught himself how to do that shit.
00:53:36.000 He can exist for months at a time out there in the wilderness.
00:53:39.000 And there's a lot of people that do that.
00:53:41.000 They have survival skills.
00:53:43.000 We used to call Hunting and gathering is now survival skills.
00:53:43.000 That's what we call it.
00:53:47.000 It's not just existing as a person, foraging for food like people used to do for fucking untold thousands of years.
00:53:54.000 I think you could teach orcas, but it would have to take a long time.
00:53:57.000 It would cost a lot of money.
00:53:59.000 But you owe that to the fucking orcas, man.
00:54:01.000 I agree.
00:54:02.000 I agree.
00:54:03.000 But, you know, we get into what we owe to other beings.
00:54:08.000 Sure.
00:54:09.000 You ever read Peter Singer?
00:54:11.000 You know him?
00:54:12.000 No.
00:54:12.000 He wrote Animal Liberation, which sort of started the whole animal rights frenzy in the 70s, whenever it was.
00:54:19.000 Really interesting philosopher teaches at Princeton now, I think.
00:54:23.000 And he made a really interesting argument about using primates in drug testing.
00:54:29.000 Because, you know, the argument there is, well, they're close to humans, so their responses to pharmaceuticals and things is as close as we're going to get for our own testing.
00:54:39.000 And what he said, he's one of these guys who just thinks really clearly wherever it goes, and he doesn't give a shit.
00:54:47.000 And so his argument was...
00:54:50.000 Okay, a chimpanzee has the intelligence and sort of demonstrable awareness of a three or four-year-old kid.
00:54:59.000 So they're beings.
00:55:00.000 They're thinking.
00:55:01.000 They're experiencing.
00:55:02.000 They've got emotions.
00:55:03.000 They've got relationships.
00:55:04.000 There's no question, right?
00:55:06.000 They're not fish.
00:55:07.000 They're not, you know...
00:55:09.000 And every year, thousands of babies are born with no brain.
00:55:14.000 I forget the medical term for it, but their brain never developed in the fetus and they're born.
00:55:21.000 Thousands, really?
00:55:22.000 Yeah, maybe it's hundreds, I don't know, but a lot.
00:55:25.000 And his point was, These babies are all going to die.
00:55:29.000 They're born.
00:55:30.000 They put them on these machines, keep them going.
00:55:32.000 They're feeding tubes and whatever.
00:55:34.000 But they're never going to survive.
00:55:36.000 They feel no pain because they have no brains.
00:55:40.000 So why aren't we testing pharmaceuticals on them?
00:55:43.000 Because they're human.
00:55:43.000 Wow.
00:55:44.000 That's some dark shit.
00:55:46.000 Well, it is.
00:55:48.000 You're right.
00:55:48.000 But it makes sense.
00:55:50.000 It certainly makes sense logically.
00:55:52.000 It's the emotional factor.
00:55:53.000 Instead, we're torturing these living, thinking, aware beings.
00:55:57.000 Yeah.
00:55:58.000 The idea being, of course, the argument against that is that if it saves one human being, who cares about the chimp?
00:56:05.000 That's the idea.
00:56:07.000 If it saves your wife, if your wife is saved, the person you love more than anyone else in this world is saved because They tortured some chimp.
00:56:15.000 It's not a beautiful thing.
00:56:17.000 It's very dark, but you would be happy that that chimp gave up his life.
00:56:21.000 Right, but I think that's why we have governments, right?
00:56:24.000 To think beyond that personal level.
00:56:27.000 Because that's what war is, right?
00:56:29.000 It's hard, though.
00:56:40.000 A government exists to kill those thousand innocent people, essentially.
00:56:44.000 Isn't that the real problem?
00:56:45.000 Like, what makes someone uniquely qualified to be the person that makes a very difficult choice?
00:56:49.000 And really, no one deserves to be the person who decides this group of people dies, so this group of people lives, or that this monkey gets a battery cable attached to his dick.
00:56:49.000 Yeah.
00:57:01.000 Right.
00:57:01.000 That's why psychopaths do so well.
00:57:04.000 Because they're not worried about the consequences.
00:57:05.000 Because they're able to make those decisions.
00:57:07.000 Is it psycho or sociopaths?
00:57:09.000 I've never really understood the difference between the two, to be honest with you.
00:57:12.000 I think sociopaths don't feel empathy, and psychopaths are prone to more violent behavior, if that makes any sense.
00:57:19.000 I think sociopaths, from what has been explained to me, and I might be butchering this, probably should look, but I think the idea being that they're not feeling empathy, like the rest of us are.
00:57:29.000 If by their actions they get ahead, but somebody else suffers, it doesn't bother them.
00:57:34.000 Whereas for you, you would do something that would hurt someone's feelings.
00:57:37.000 You'd be like, man, I just can't fucking sleep.
00:57:38.000 This is so freaking me out.
00:57:39.000 They don't have that.
00:57:40.000 That sense of empathy.
00:57:42.000 I have a friend who wrote a book called The Psychopath Test.
00:57:45.000 Oh, I've read that.
00:57:46.000 Yeah, John Ronson?
00:57:47.000 Yeah.
00:57:48.000 I started reading it, I should say.
00:57:50.000 I think I bailed on it.
00:57:51.000 I got bored.
00:57:53.000 Yeah, well, you get the idea pretty quickly.
00:57:55.000 I'm all ADD on that shit like that, man.
00:57:57.000 I'm really good with a documentary on stuff like that, but getting deep into the dry issues of psychopaths and sociopaths.
00:58:04.000 What's his take on it?
00:58:06.000 You know, essentially that psychopaths are very prominent in fields like Wall Street, military.
00:58:17.000 They do really well in areas where you have to make decisions that hurt people and you don't give a shit.
00:58:25.000 Here's an article in Psychology Today that explains it in a way.
00:58:29.000 Many forensic psychologists, psychiatrists, and criminologists use the terms sociopathy and psychopathy interchangeably.
00:58:36.000 Leading experts disagree on whether there are meaningful differences between the two conditions.
00:58:41.000 I contend that there are clear and significant distinctions.
00:58:46.000 Okay.
00:58:47.000 Sociopaths and psychopaths share.
00:58:49.000 A disregard for the laws and social norms, a disregard for the rights of others, a failure to feel remorse or guilt, a tendency to display violent behavior.
00:58:49.000 This is what they share.
00:58:58.000 In addition to their commonalities, sociopaths and psychopaths also have their own unique behavioral characteristics as well.
00:59:05.000 Sociopaths tend to be nervous and easily agitated.
00:59:07.000 They are volatile and prone to emotional outbursts, including fits of rage.
00:59:13.000 Psychopaths, on the other hand, are unable to form emotional attachments or feel real empathy with others, although they often have disarming or even charming personalities.
00:59:23.000 Interesting.
00:59:23.000 That's what I would think of as sociopaths.
00:59:25.000 Psychopaths are very manipulative and can easily gain people's trust.
00:59:29.000 They learn to mimic emotions.
00:59:31.000 Now, I've met people that do that, despite their inability to actually feel them and will appeal normal to unsuspecting people.
00:59:37.000 I've seen that.
00:59:38.000 I've seen that where I've had conversations with people and I realize that they're like mimicking emotions.
00:59:44.000 Like, oh yeah, man, it's horrible that that happened to him.
00:59:46.000 Like, oh, you don't care at all.
00:59:48.000 Like you're feeling like no, you know, there's like certain feelings that people have where you feel, you see it in them that they feel remorse or they feel sad or they feel empathy.
01:00:00.000 And then there's other people that are like faking that where it's like, They're doing bad acting on a soap opera.
01:00:05.000 Especially in L.A., dude.
01:00:06.000 I mean, I was on a TV show here two weeks ago or something, and it struck me how there are concentric circles of bullshit that get more intense the closer you get to the cameras.
01:00:17.000 You check into the hotel, and they're like, Hey, Dr. Ryan, nice to meet you.
01:00:17.000 That's so true.
01:00:22.000 Kind of light, but friendly, but they don't give a fuck, right?
01:00:25.000 And then you got the driver who's like, hey, is everything good?
01:00:28.000 Can I help you with that, sir?
01:00:30.000 And then you get the assistant producer who greets you at the door.
01:00:33.000 Oh, we're so thrilled you're here, Dr. Ryan!
01:00:37.000 And then you're actually on stage in front of the cameras and the shit is just like up to your fucking neck.
01:00:44.000 It's unbelievable.
01:00:45.000 Like all the fake emotions.
01:00:48.000 What kind of a show was it?
01:00:49.000 Well, I'm legally...
01:00:51.000 Can't talk about it.
01:00:52.000 I can't name it, but it was like a talk show, you know, kind of like where I was talking about monogamy and, you know, hey, you know...
01:01:01.000 And the segment before me went long.
01:01:05.000 It was about dirty underwear.
01:01:09.000 That's important, dude.
01:01:10.000 That's important to discuss.
01:01:12.000 Are there issues?
01:01:13.000 Is there bacteria?
01:01:14.000 What about vaccinations?
01:01:14.000 Can people die?
01:01:16.000 They protect you against dirty underwear?
01:01:17.000 And I'm not saying it's a pretty...
01:01:19.000 I've never seen the show, so I don't know if it's a good show or a bad show, but it's just...
01:01:22.000 And I've experienced this in lots of shows.
01:01:25.000 Not this show, all right?
01:01:26.000 But lots of shows where, like, you're...
01:01:28.000 TV, particularly.
01:01:30.000 You know, why am I talking to you about TV? But in my experience, at least the way I interact with TV, it's just such...
01:01:38.000 Bullshit.
01:01:38.000 Yeah, it can be.
01:01:40.000 It certainly can be.
01:01:41.000 But there's some shows that you do that aren't bullshit.
01:01:43.000 Like the Jimmy Kimmel show, for instance.
01:01:45.000 You talk to Jimmy Kimmel.
01:01:46.000 He's like totally there.
01:01:48.000 He seems like a real guy.
01:01:49.000 He's a real guy.
01:01:50.000 He's totally there.
01:01:51.000 I often wonder about it.
01:01:52.000 I was talking to this buddy doing the Dolphin stuff.
01:01:54.000 He dated a woman who was on a rebound from George Clooney.
01:02:00.000 Talking about a tough gig, right?
01:02:01.000 Like you're the rebound from George Clooney.
01:02:03.000 I would take that over the rock.
01:02:05.000 I'll take George Clooney all day.
01:02:08.000 All day.
01:02:09.000 I dated a woman who told me I was even better than Fabio in bed.
01:02:14.000 You should never know that a chick fucked Fabio.
01:02:17.000 You're taking Fabio's sloppy seconds?
01:02:19.000 Good lord.
01:02:20.000 I know.
01:02:21.000 Good lord.
01:02:21.000 Well, she didn't tell me until it was too late to change course, but it's one of the most dubious compliments I've ever received.
01:02:28.000 That's interesting.
01:02:31.000 Even better than Fabio.
01:02:33.000 So, Jimmy Kimmel was dating a girl who was on the rebound from George Clooney?
01:02:37.000 No, not Jimmy Kimmel, my buddy Chris.
01:02:38.000 Oh, your buddy was.
01:02:39.000 But anyway, that got us talking about famous people who seem cool, like George Clooney.
01:02:45.000 To me, George Clooney seems like if you hung out with him, he would actually be a cool guy.
01:02:50.000 Yeah, I would imagine he'd be pretty cool.
01:02:53.000 How hard is that?
01:02:56.000 For a guy like that, who's probably a thousand times more famous than my level of fame, he's probably legitimately a thousand times more famous than me.
01:03:05.000 That's pretty intense fame.
01:03:07.000 He can't go anywhere.
01:03:08.000 When George Clooney shows up, helicopters will start circling the restaurant that he's at, and people will just jump out of buses with cameras and try to touch him.
01:03:16.000 And it relates to what we were just talking about, like that fake emotion thing, right?
01:03:21.000 How much true input is he getting from human beings?
01:03:25.000 Well, he goes to other countries.
01:03:26.000 That's one of the things that I think benefits you for a guy like that.
01:03:29.000 I think he's got like a fucking villa in France.
01:03:32.000 France.
01:03:32.000 Notice how I said France because I have a video shirt.
01:03:35.000 I didn't say France.
01:03:37.000 I'm not like that.
01:03:37.000 Okay.
01:03:39.000 He's got mad cash.
01:03:41.000 That's cool because it insulates him from a lot of the bullshit.
01:03:44.000 Yeah, but it also attracts the bullshit.
01:03:46.000 I was going to say, my buddy is friends with Johnny Depp.
01:03:50.000 Also in France.
01:03:52.000 And he spent some time with Johnny Depp in England.
01:03:55.000 And he said it was the most ridiculous scene you've ever seen in your life.
01:03:58.000 The guy can't go anywhere.
01:04:00.000 Everywhere he goes, there's people with earpieces in and suits.
01:04:02.000 And they follow him everywhere.
01:04:04.000 They're peripheral.
01:04:05.000 And you try to go outside.
01:04:06.000 He was going outside to have a cigarette.
01:04:08.000 Yeah.
01:04:28.000 Took things to this critical nuclear place where it's at right now, where he's a story.
01:04:34.000 He's an object of attention everywhere he goes.
01:04:37.000 It's got to be really hard to keep your shit together when you're like that.
01:04:40.000 Yeah.
01:04:41.000 Your version of reality is so fucked.
01:04:42.000 Yeah, I mean, you're not getting the sort of feedback that you need just to, like, know what's real, you know?
01:04:48.000 Yeah.
01:04:50.000 It's interesting, the character that put him over, you know, into that world of strangeness was based on Keith Richards, right?
01:05:00.000 Yeah.
01:05:01.000 Yesterday I was talking to my friend Tao, who, he's an Italian prince, talking about European...
01:05:07.000 Damn!
01:05:08.000 He was married to Olivia Wilde for seven years, you know?
01:05:11.000 So he's sort of like, he's like in this world, a strange world.
01:05:16.000 And he was talking, his father was this crazy Italian prince who hung out with Fellini and Brigitte Bardot and Salvador Dali.
01:05:24.000 And, you know, he sort of started the Dolce Vita in Italy in the 50s and squandered this huge family fortune, like in his lifetime on women and boats and parties and all this shit, you know?
01:05:37.000 Yeah, really interesting cat.
01:05:37.000 I love him.
01:05:40.000 Anyway, Tao is a great flamenco guitarist, and we were talking about, like, how do you get in, you know, when did you start playing guitar?
01:05:47.000 And he said, well, when I was 13, the Rolling Stones came to, like, Rome or wherever they were playing, and my dad is an old friend of Keith Richards, and he took me to the hotel where the Stones were staying, and Keith had,
01:06:02.000 like, a whole floor to himself, right?
01:06:05.000 And we went in and there were all these people and all this scene.
01:06:08.000 And actually Keith Richards' father was there, he mentioned.
01:06:11.000 And my dad mentioned to Keith, like, hey, Tao's learning guitar.
01:06:17.000 And Keith had a flamenco guitar there.
01:06:20.000 And he picked it up and he did a few, like, riffs.
01:06:23.000 And he said to him, if you want to learn to play guitar, learn flamenco.
01:06:27.000 Because if you can play flamenco, you can play anything.
01:06:30.000 Wow.
01:06:31.000 And Tao now is a...
01:06:32.000 Fucking great flamenco guitarist.
01:06:34.000 And he's like, man, if Keith Richards tells you what to do, that's what you do.
01:06:40.000 He fucking went with it.
01:06:42.000 That makes sense, because that flamenco is very fast finger movements.
01:06:42.000 It's great.
01:06:45.000 You would have to develop some incredible coordination of your fingers.
01:06:48.000 Yeah, like doing a Stones riff after that is easy.
01:06:52.000 Yeah, I've always loved music, but I've never had any inclination to learn an instrument.
01:06:59.000 I love it.
01:07:00.000 Do you regret that?
01:07:01.000 Nope.
01:07:02.000 There's not enough time.
01:07:03.000 I have enough forms of expression that I'm enjoying.
01:07:08.000 I think it would be cool as fuck, man.
01:07:10.000 You watch a Jimi Hendrix solo, and you go, good lord, can you imagine if you could just...
01:07:15.000 Just the feeling of being in it that deeply.
01:07:18.000 The flow, you know?
01:07:19.000 It's just...
01:07:20.000 That's what I regret.
01:07:21.000 I never had the discipline.
01:07:23.000 I took electric guitar lessons for two weeks and quit, and I took piano for a week and quit.
01:07:28.000 I was just too much of a fuck off as a kid.
01:07:31.000 I could never get over the hump to where it started being enjoyable.
01:07:35.000 Yeah, you need to be obsessed.
01:07:36.000 To get really good at anything, whether it's the drums or the guitar or playing chess, I mean, it's all the same thing, really.
01:07:43.000 It's like you need to just get obsessed at that particular discipline.
01:07:47.000 Whatever it is that it takes to get really good at it, a big part of what makes someone really good at anything is this crazy obsession.
01:07:55.000 If you don't have that obsession, you'll just drift in and out from one thing to the other until you find the thing that you really are obsessed with.
01:08:01.000 Now, obsession is defined, you know, in the psychological terms as a pathology, right?
01:08:10.000 Obsessive-compulsive disorder.
01:08:12.000 And, you know, this is a very subversive kind of thought, but it's like, in our society, this relates back to the psychopaths who attain great success.
01:08:23.000 I mean, are most really successful people responding to some deep trauma?
01:08:30.000 You know what I mean?
01:08:31.000 Like they say, comedians, you know, there's some need for approval and, you know, make people laugh, make people love you, you know, because whatever your family structure...
01:08:41.000 I don't know as many comedians as you do, but, you know, you always hear that, right?
01:08:45.000 You know, because I needed the attention in actors.
01:08:48.000 Like, they need people looking at them.
01:08:50.000 They need to be on stage.
01:08:51.000 They're, like, drinking that up because there's some need.
01:08:54.000 It nourishes them on some level.
01:08:56.000 Right.
01:08:57.000 So I wonder, like, is there...
01:08:59.000 You know, like, I'm thinking about people who say, like, I learned to play guitar so I could get laid, you know, because the girls were...
01:09:06.000 I guess I didn't think of it that way.
01:09:10.000 Nobody told me I would get laid.
01:09:13.000 Maybe if you and your friends got together and you were like, man, we're having a hard time getting laid.
01:09:16.000 Okay, here's the thing.
01:09:18.000 Let's form a band.
01:09:19.000 We're going to make a band.
01:09:20.000 I think you probably wouldn't be as good as if you guys were like, man, look, the Stones were our age when they got together.
01:09:26.000 Let's just fucking do this, guys.
01:09:28.000 If you really had this desire to produce something that people love.
01:09:32.000 That's what you kind of have to do.
01:09:34.000 I think to get to be a Keith Richards, you have to have this desire to produce something that people are going to love.
01:09:41.000 Because when you listen to his guitar riffs, or any great guitarist, Stevie Ray Vaughan, anyone, they have to have this deep desire to connect with just the correct sounds that's coming out of their mind, their imagination,
01:09:57.000 their Their skill, their interpretation of the moment.
01:10:01.000 That's why people like when someone does a guitar solo, the idea being that this guy's just feeling it.
01:10:08.000 It's not the exact same solo every time.
01:10:11.000 Every time they're doing it, if a guy just starts riffing and everybody starts cheering and going along with it, you want to see what's in that guy right at that moment.
01:10:21.000 Expresses itself through all the discipline and all the years that he's practiced guitar and then the finger coordination that it's able to achieve.
01:10:29.000 And you know, there's some shit that's like, you could tell they're just kind of, they're just going fast.
01:10:35.000 You know, there's going fast.
01:10:37.000 Shredders.
01:10:37.000 Yeah, there's people that shred and it's really cool and it's really impressive.
01:10:41.000 And then there's some Stevie Ray Vaughan shit.
01:10:44.000 There's some Stevie Ray Vaughan where you feel like him crying through the guitar.
01:10:49.000 There's this emotion that's attached to it and that people connect to.
01:10:54.000 And when you see Stevie Ray Vaughan's version of Little Wing, you see a great guitarist Inhabiting and loving another great guitarist, you know, there's something really beautiful about that.
01:11:07.000 Fuck yeah, dude.
01:11:08.000 Fuck yeah.
01:11:08.000 His version of Voodoo Child is the only version I accept other than Hendrix.
01:11:12.000 Obviously, I'm a huge Hendrix fan.
01:11:12.000 Right.
01:11:14.000 Yeah.
01:11:15.000 I mean, that's why I named this the Joe Rogan Experience to rip off Hendrix.
01:11:18.000 Yeah.
01:11:18.000 Oh, really?
01:11:19.000 Huge.
01:11:19.000 Right.
01:11:20.000 From the time I was a little kid.
01:11:20.000 Always.
01:11:22.000 I mean, he just, he has a special quality to him.
01:11:25.000 Like, that song Voodoo Child, to me, like, that just...
01:11:30.000 The opening, yeah.
01:11:32.000 Where the fuck did that come?
01:11:34.000 Who did that before him?
01:11:35.000 I mean, compare music before Hendrix and after Hendrix.
01:11:40.000 It's like, I really believe, especially Voodoo Child, there's something about that beginning riff.
01:11:45.000 Bam!
01:11:46.000 Like when he really gets into it, it's like, God, he was on some new place.
01:11:50.000 He was in some new dimension when he was...
01:11:52.000 And restring the guitar.
01:11:54.000 I'm not learning that.
01:11:54.000 Like, fuck that.
01:11:55.000 I'm doing it my way.
01:11:57.000 He's just like so unconcerned with what came before in a way, you know?
01:12:02.000 Yeah.
01:12:03.000 He was on drugs.
01:12:03.000 Drugs.
01:12:04.000 Well, that's what I was going to say.
01:12:06.000 And honestly, the first time...
01:12:08.000 It's special drugs, not coke, right?
01:12:09.000 Oh, yeah.
01:12:10.000 No, he was on all sorts of different drugs.
01:12:11.000 Acid, generally, yeah.
01:12:13.000 I mean, the...
01:12:14.000 There it is.
01:12:15.000 There it is.
01:12:16.000 Hit that.
01:12:17.000 Crank that shit up.
01:12:19.000 Listen to this.
01:12:23.000 What you really have to think about is this is the late 1960s when this guy comes out with this.
01:12:29.000 Now, if you just go ten years before that, you're dealing with Buddy Holly.
01:12:33.000 Yeah.
01:12:34.000 Which is great music, but this is just some next-level shit.
01:12:40.000 Like, listen to this part.
01:12:43.000 This is one dude, by the way.
01:12:46.000 And the distortion.
01:12:49.000 I have a few all-time favorite songs.
01:12:52.000 I don't have like an all-time favorite song, but I listen to that motherfucker when I'm in my car on the way to the gym.
01:12:58.000 I'll time it for like the last five minutes before I get to the gym is Voodoo Child.
01:13:03.000 Because it's just fucking blasted.
01:13:06.000 Put my phone on airplane mode.
01:13:07.000 Fuck you.
01:13:09.000 And hear this?
01:13:10.000 Cranked.
01:13:11.000 Always high.
01:13:13.000 It just touches your DNA. You feel that guy's expression right through the sound.
01:13:21.000 I get that with...
01:13:22.000 Do you ever listen to Danny California?
01:13:24.000 Red Hot Chili Peppers?
01:13:26.000 Oh, yeah.
01:13:27.000 Okay.
01:13:27.000 Yeah, there's a guitar.
01:13:28.000 There's a thing that like the whole song builds to this fucking wild guitar lead near the end.
01:13:34.000 And like if I'm working out or running or something, I always have that on my playlist because I just there's like energy comes out of the ether, you know, it's amazing.
01:13:43.000 Yeah, they had a cover of Higher Ground.
01:13:45.000 That was one of the few covers that I actually enjoyed as much as the original, just like Steve Ray Vaughan's version of Voodoo Child.
01:13:53.000 There's some covers that are better.
01:13:55.000 I really love that genre of music, where a cover gets the essence of the song in a way that the original performer may have missed.
01:14:05.000 There are a few examples, I mean, all along the Watchtower.
01:14:09.000 I think Hendrix does that better than Dylan.
01:14:12.000 And Dylan actually said that as well.
01:14:14.000 It's just so different.
01:14:15.000 His version is a different song.
01:14:17.000 I mean, it's just so different.
01:14:19.000 And, you know, here's one that people don't talk about.
01:14:21.000 Suspicious Minds.
01:14:22.000 Dwight Yoakam did a cover of Suspicious Minds.
01:14:25.000 Elvis, right.
01:14:26.000 It's better than Elvis.
01:14:27.000 People get mad.
01:14:28.000 Fuck you, white people.
01:14:30.000 Fine Young Cannibals did a version of it, which isn't bad.
01:14:34.000 They did a great version, too.
01:14:35.000 It's a funny song, Suspicious Minds, too.
01:14:37.000 It is.
01:14:38.000 It's Elvis saying, oh, come on, baby.
01:14:40.000 You know I wouldn't lie to you.
01:14:43.000 Who are you going to believe?
01:14:44.000 Me or your lying eyes, right?
01:14:45.000 Especially in the context of Elvis' life.
01:14:47.000 Exactly.
01:14:48.000 You're on the coast, dude.
01:14:49.000 Come on, baby.
01:14:50.000 It's like JFK saying, hey, I'm a one-woman man.
01:14:53.000 Yeah, sure you are, dude.
01:14:54.000 Well, not only that, Elvis was probably on so many pills, he didn't know if he was a monogamous.
01:14:57.000 Oh, when he was the drug czar.
01:14:59.000 Oh, he was drifting in and out of consciousness all day long.
01:15:03.000 Poor guy.
01:15:04.000 Talk about trauma leading to great fame, right?
01:15:06.000 Yeah.
01:15:07.000 In a way, yeah.
01:15:10.000 Damaged soul, you know, seeking approval from the world.
01:15:14.000 Well, I often wonder if what we're seeing when we see great resonating forms of expression, whether it's art or whether it's comedy or any music...
01:15:26.000 I always wonder if what we're looking at is a mathematical equation, if we're looking at like a yin and a yang, an ebb and a pull, and that the ebb, you know, whatever it was that created this great deficit responds, the body, the mind, the soul, the spirit responds with this incredible work of art to sort of make up for all the trauma that it experienced when it was young,
01:15:47.000 which is why It's really tough to find someone who had this really ultra-privileged life, who was accepted and loved and nurtured in every way, who becomes this really fascinating, great artist.
01:16:00.000 What you usually find is these people that are in pain and torn up.
01:16:04.000 Exactly.
01:16:05.000 Yeah, and I often wonder if we're looking at it in a cultural context, and we sort of, oh, that guy's an asshole, or his life sucked, or she was abused, or he was neglected.
01:16:17.000 And we're looking at it in terms of like these definitions that we've already categorized in our mind.
01:16:23.000 But in fact, what it really is, is like math.
01:16:27.000 It all evens out.
01:16:29.000 Yeah.
01:16:29.000 We're looking at a minus and a positive.
01:16:31.000 We're looking at a Jimi Hendrix, this young black man in this incredibly racist world who comes along right at the moment of this psychedelic acceptance where the whole world, especially young people, are turning on in a way that they never have before.
01:16:46.000 The Beatles come along.
01:16:47.000 They do the White Album.
01:16:48.000 People are freaking out.
01:16:50.000 Clapton.
01:16:51.000 Pink Floyd.
01:16:51.000 Layla.
01:16:52.000 Pink Floyd.
01:16:53.000 And then all of a sudden, this dude comes along who's dressed like a fucking Indian.
01:16:56.000 He's got a headband on, and he's playing music from outer space.
01:16:59.000 Chewing gum.
01:17:00.000 Yeah, I mean, you know, Phil Hartman, rest his soul, who's a good friend from news radio, and he grew up when he was young, rather.
01:17:13.000 He lived in Hollywood, and he worked as like a stagehand.
01:17:16.000 When Jimi Hendrix played the whiskey.
01:17:18.000 And so he was right there with Jimi Hendrix holding the speaker because sometimes the speakers would fall off the stage.
01:17:26.000 Like they were on the edge of the stage and you had to be there in case something happened.
01:17:30.000 So he was there when Hendrix first burst on the scene.
01:17:34.000 So he's as close to Hendrix as you are to me.
01:17:36.000 Right.
01:17:36.000 Talk about a front row seat, right?
01:17:37.000 And he played guitar.
01:17:38.000 Phil did everything.
01:17:40.000 He was a true genius.
01:17:43.000 I mean, he really could do anything.
01:17:44.000 And he had an incredible work ethic, that guy.
01:17:46.000 Like, we joke around about it.
01:17:48.000 We had this thing we did at the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
01:17:51.000 He got a star earlier this year.
01:17:53.000 And Stephen Root and Candy Alexander and I were joking around about how Phil had these notes.
01:17:58.000 Like, he would have, uh, his script would be, he would have tabs for each scene, and, like, these different color tabs for every scene that he was in, and everything would be highlighted, and he would have notes and stickums, and everything was, like, super organized, and we were always like, shh, can I borrow your script?
01:18:14.000 You know, like, nobody could find their fucking script, but Phil had his shit in a binder, he would take his thing, he would punch holes in them, stick them in a binder, you know, he was super-duper organized and anal about that kind of shit, but one of his greatest moments, you know, When we were friends,
01:18:30.000 somewhere along the line he started smoking weed.
01:18:32.000 Like, all the time.
01:18:33.000 This was before I actually smoked weed.
01:18:35.000 And he did it because he had a lot of problems.
01:18:38.000 There's a lot of marital issues, obviously, that led to his wife killing him.
01:18:41.000 But he enjoyed, like, after work was done, not while he was there, but after work was done, he enjoyed getting high.
01:18:48.000 He loved getting high and going on a boat.
01:18:50.000 And he had a boat, and he would take his boat out, and he would just love being high, sailing.
01:18:55.000 And he was telling me one time, we were hanging out in his room, it was after filming, and he was high.
01:19:01.000 And he was telling me that story about him working at this club and holding the speakers for Hendrix.
01:19:07.000 And to this day, it's like one of my favorite memories of him.
01:19:10.000 You know, because I could see him as this young guy.
01:19:13.000 It's like he was so fascinated by everything.
01:19:16.000 He's the only guy that I've ever met that I went to a strip club with and it didn't feel creepy.
01:19:20.000 Because he sat down.
01:19:22.000 He sat down.
01:19:24.000 I could say this now because he's dead.
01:19:25.000 If he was alive, I'd probably not tell you this story.
01:19:27.000 But he used to love to go to this place called Bob's Classy Lady.
01:19:31.000 And it was in the valley.
01:19:33.000 That's great.
01:19:33.000 And Phil took me there.
01:19:35.000 And he would sit by the stage and the girls would come out and dance and he'd give them money.
01:19:41.000 And he was like a genuine, childlike enthusiasm for their bodies.
01:19:45.000 Yeah.
01:19:46.000 You know, they'd be like moving in front and be like, wow, you're beautiful.
01:19:49.000 Oh, you're beautiful.
01:19:49.000 And he was high as fuck.
01:19:51.000 Just high as fuck.
01:19:53.000 Yeah.
01:19:53.000 And he was watching these girls dance and stick their genitals in his face and he just was loving it.
01:19:59.000 He was loving it in a way that wasn't creepy.
01:20:01.000 It was weird.
01:20:03.000 It was like he had this almost like...
01:20:07.000 Innocence about the way he was appreciating their bodies that I didn't feel weird being near him while this was happening.
01:20:14.000 Because it was just me and him.
01:20:15.000 Could you feel it as well?
01:20:17.000 I was too insecure.
01:20:18.000 Yeah.
01:20:18.000 Yeah, I was too, for whatever reason, too many preset ideas about bodies.
01:20:24.000 And also, I was like, at the time, I was 26 or 27, maybe 28 at the most...
01:20:31.000 And I was pretty fucking crazy.
01:20:33.000 You know, I was just a different person.
01:20:34.000 I was still operating on the momentum of my youth and chaos, and I couldn't even believe I was hanging out with Phil Hartman at a strip club.
01:20:43.000 Like, to me, like, seven years before that, I had been fighting, you know?
01:20:47.000 It was, like, so recent.
01:20:48.000 It's like my competition days so flavored, like, who I was.
01:20:53.000 Because, like, you know, you're talking about the word obsessed, what it means.
01:20:56.000 If it is a sickness, The sickness meaning that you can get good at something because of that sickness.
01:21:01.000 I was 100% sick when I was a kid.
01:21:03.000 I was sick as fuck.
01:21:05.000 Psychotic in that way.
01:21:07.000 Not in a way where I didn't care about other people's feelings, but maybe psychotic's not the word now that we've researched it.
01:21:14.000 Maybe the word is just...
01:21:16.000 Singular in my purpose and vision on earth.
01:21:19.000 I just wanted to do that and only that.
01:21:22.000 Monomania.
01:21:23.000 Yeah.
01:21:23.000 And so it was hard for me to get out of that headset for a long time.
01:21:26.000 I would drift back into that headset and try to fight it off and try to assimilate and be normal.
01:21:33.000 But I felt like almost like a drug addict who would stop doing coke or heroin or meth or something like that.
01:21:39.000 I had gone into this world where there was no more fight or flight.
01:21:43.000 There was no more terrifying bouts of competition, followed by preparation, followed by more competition.
01:21:50.000 Now, all of a sudden, I'm hanging out with Phil Hartman at his strip club.
01:21:52.000 Did performance feel that way at all?
01:21:54.000 Like, you know, you got a taping on Friday leading up to it.
01:21:57.000 You're sort of nervous.
01:21:59.000 You're preparing, you know, to some extent.
01:22:01.000 Definitely not a TV show.
01:22:02.000 TV shows, especially news radio, was one of the easiest jobs I've ever had in my life, in terms of the actual performance of it.
01:22:09.000 I mean, you would be a little nervous before, make sure you knew your lines, make sure you get it right, but the cast was so fucking good that, like, you were working with these people that were so funny, all you had to do was just do your thing.
01:22:20.000 It was me in a scene with Andy Dick.
01:22:23.000 All I had to do was just go, Andy, what are you talking about, man?
01:22:27.000 What are you talking about?
01:22:28.000 And then he would do his wackiness, and then I would do whatever I had to say.
01:22:31.000 And the hard part was not laughing.
01:22:33.000 It was remembering your lines first, and then not laughing.
01:22:37.000 That was amazing.
01:22:38.000 What about stand-up?
01:22:40.000 That's a little different because you're creating it.
01:22:43.000 In news radio, they allowed us a lot of room for ad-libbing.
01:22:46.000 But even if you do create it, you're interacting with someone else and you're pretending some things are happening.
01:22:51.000 It either works or it doesn't work.
01:22:53.000 And if it doesn't work, you get together, you take a five-minute break, the writers all would...
01:22:56.000 Paul and Josh and all these guys would all huddle together and we'd try to come up with another line.
01:23:01.000 So it's like everyone was working together on this thing.
01:23:04.000 So it was, in a sense, way easier than stand-up.
01:23:06.000 Because stand up, you're on your own, bitch.
01:23:09.000 If you're out there bombing, especially people who paid money to see it, you better come correct.
01:23:15.000 You better have some shit to say.
01:23:17.000 So stand up more so, but still never as terrifying as the in-between bouts between competition.
01:23:24.000 It was terrifying.
01:23:25.000 Was there ever any sort of possibility of you being on Saturday Night Live?
01:23:29.000 I never wanted to act at all.
01:23:32.000 You're not a sketch that...
01:23:33.000 No, I don't want to do that.
01:23:35.000 So how did it happen?
01:23:36.000 I mean, you don't have to talk about it if you've covered this before.
01:23:40.000 I definitely have.
01:23:40.000 It's super simple.
01:23:41.000 I just got a development deal.
01:23:42.000 I did MTV Half Hour Comedy Hour.
01:23:43.000 I got a development deal.
01:23:44.000 They offered me a lot of money.
01:23:45.000 Next thing you know, I was on a Disney show, of all things.
01:23:48.000 For Fox.
01:23:49.000 Two hilarious things.
01:23:50.000 Disney show for Fox.
01:23:51.000 It was called Hardball.
01:23:53.000 When that was over, I was totally ready to quit show.
01:23:55.000 You're doing a voice?
01:23:56.000 No, it was a character.
01:23:57.000 I played a baseball player.
01:23:58.000 Frank Valente.
01:24:00.000 And it was a terrible show.
01:24:01.000 It started off really good.
01:24:02.000 The guys who created it were writers from The Simpsons.
01:24:05.000 Jeff Martin and Kevin Curran.
01:24:06.000 They were writers from The Simpsons.
01:24:07.000 They wrote for Married with Children.
01:24:08.000 They were brilliant, brilliant guys.
01:24:10.000 But they were soft-spoken writers, intellectuals.
01:24:13.000 They got steamrolled.
01:24:14.000 They got steamrolled.
01:24:14.000 They got steamrolled by half.
01:24:17.000 Yeah.
01:24:18.000 The people who came in, you know, Fox didn't think they were strong enough to run a show, so they fucked up their pilot, they fucked up all the episodes, and they tanked a great idea.
01:24:28.000 You know, they were baseball fans, and they wanted to make a hilarious sitcom about baseball akin to Married with Children for Baseball.
01:24:35.000 Right.
01:24:35.000 Right.
01:24:36.000 That was their idea.
01:24:37.000 And I hated it.
01:24:39.000 I hated...
01:24:40.000 I didn't hate them, and I loved being in the pilot.
01:24:43.000 Jim Brewer was actually in the pilot with me.
01:24:45.000 Jim played...
01:24:46.000 It was a one-time role for him.
01:24:48.000 And it was just a bad scene.
01:24:51.000 It was just not fun.
01:24:53.000 I didn't enjoy working with actors.
01:24:54.000 I thought...
01:24:55.000 Some of them became friends, but a bunch of them were unbelievably self-centered and weird and...
01:25:00.000 So you got no training?
01:25:02.000 No, none.
01:25:02.000 You never did theater in Boston?
01:25:04.000 No desire either, which is infuriating to them.
01:25:04.000 Zero.
01:25:06.000 But all of a sudden, I was in their turf.
01:25:08.000 Yeah, right?
01:25:08.000 Of course.
01:25:09.000 Who the fuck is this guy?
01:25:10.000 And I played the baseball star.
01:25:13.000 I was the guy who was the star of the team.
01:25:16.000 So it was based on your comedy?
01:25:18.000 No, not at all.
01:25:19.000 Oh, the MTV thing was in a...
01:25:21.000 No.
01:25:21.000 My comedy got me to the MTV thing, but the sitcom, they had already written it.
01:25:28.000 They just cast me.
01:25:29.000 I met them, and they said, you could be that guy.
01:25:31.000 And so, boom, all of a sudden, I'm in Hollywood, and they're putting makeup on me.
01:25:35.000 Is that when you moved out here?
01:25:37.000 I did the pilot first, so I came out here to visit.
01:25:40.000 I got one of those Oakwood apartments in Burbank that everybody automatically goes to.
01:25:46.000 They have these rented furnished apartments.
01:25:48.000 They have cable.
01:25:49.000 It's beautiful.
01:25:50.000 You just move right in.
01:25:51.000 Sleep in some bed that some dude before he's been farting and jerking off into.
01:25:56.000 And I did that, and then it got picked up, and then I got an apartment.
01:26:01.000 I signed a lease because I figured, oh, this is going to stay.
01:26:03.000 I had the Oakwood for a couple of weeks, and I go, oh, this show's doing well, and they thought it was going to get picked up, and then it got canceled.
01:26:09.000 So then I got news radio, same thing.
01:26:12.000 It was just an audition.
01:26:14.000 Went in for an audition.
01:26:15.000 It was a cattle call.
01:26:15.000 It was like 100 dudes.
01:26:16.000 Really?
01:26:17.000 Yeah, I met them, went in, did an audition, came back, did a second audition, bam, I'm on a show.
01:26:22.000 That's amazing.
01:26:23.000 Sitting there at the table read with Phil Hartman, Dave Foley.
01:26:25.000 So, all told, being on news radio, I had even thought about ever acting for less than a year.
01:26:32.000 And this was on my second TV show.
01:26:34.000 That's fucking insane.
01:26:35.000 It's totally insane.
01:26:36.000 And the second show I ever auditioned for, by the way.
01:26:38.000 I'd only auditioned for two shows ever, and I was on both of them.
01:26:38.000 Yeah.
01:26:40.000 It didn't make any sense.
01:26:43.000 And so, you know...
01:26:44.000 So to what do you attribute this?
01:26:46.000 Lucky as fuck.
01:26:47.000 That, for sure.
01:26:48.000 Lucky as fuck.
01:26:49.000 And the ability to perform under pressure.
01:26:51.000 One of the things about sitcoms, about auditioning for them, it's so unnatural.
01:26:55.000 You're in this room, there's a table, there's these people that you don't know, and you're supposed to pretend that, you know, we're on a tropical island and we're trying to find where the first aid cabin is.
01:27:05.000 You know, it's fake.
01:27:07.000 And a lot of times people are like, oh my god, my life depends on this, my bills...
01:27:11.000 And some people have never had to perform under pressure before.
01:27:15.000 But being a stand-up helps that tremendously because you're accustomed to being nervous.
01:27:19.000 And then fighting helps that tremendously because you're accustomed to being nervous.
01:27:22.000 So those two things, you know, I performed under pressure more than the average person even though I didn't have...
01:27:30.000 A lot of acting experience.
01:27:31.000 Interesting.
01:27:32.000 That's a very interesting way to look at it.
01:27:35.000 I'm interested in all this.
01:27:36.000 I just watched that SNL special the other night.
01:27:39.000 A lot of Phil Hartman.
01:27:41.000 He was amazing.
01:27:41.000 And a lot of audition tapes as well.
01:27:43.000 He's one of the reasons why I never wanted to do it though.
01:27:46.000 His depiction of working in Siren Live was not good.
01:27:50.000 No.
01:27:51.000 A lot of people hated it.
01:27:53.000 He hated it.
01:27:53.000 Well, Phil is a nice fucking guy.
01:27:56.000 He was a nice fucking guy.
01:27:57.000 He was really nice.
01:27:57.000 And that's a shark tank.
01:27:59.000 It's a very ultra-competitive, mean-spirited place.
01:28:02.000 And Phil had the remnants of that, almost like as a defensive shell, when he first started working on news radio.
01:28:08.000 He would say things that were really uncharacteristic of him later.
01:28:13.000 And we actually talked about it.
01:28:15.000 I don't want to name any names, but he was talking about some mean people that he worked with on the show.
01:28:19.000 Jerry Chase.
01:28:20.000 I don't believe he mentioned him.
01:28:22.000 He's got that reputation.
01:28:23.000 He does.
01:28:24.000 A lot of people that come from that environment do, because I think it's really hostile, and they're all competing to get their stuff in the air.
01:28:29.000 And there's a lot of backstabbing.
01:28:31.000 There's people doing favors for writers and trying to get their stuff in.
01:28:34.000 And there's a lot of...
01:28:35.000 There's a lot of greatness that comes from that, too.
01:28:38.000 I mean, Saturday Night Live, if you look at the overall body of work and you just cherry-pick greatness, my God, I mean, you have this incredible bouquet of John Belushi and Phil Hartman and Adam Sandler and Chris Rock.
01:28:51.000 I mean, you know this greatness?
01:28:52.000 Eddie motherfucking Murphy, who was genius on that show.
01:28:52.000 Eddie Murphy.
01:28:55.000 Him playing Buckwheat?
01:28:56.000 Yeah.
01:28:57.000 My God.
01:28:58.000 I mean, it was amazing.
01:29:00.000 It was a...
01:29:01.000 But...
01:29:02.000 I never had a desire to do that.
01:29:03.000 I don't want to compete with a bunch of people.
01:29:04.000 I don't want to be in a hostile environment.
01:29:06.000 Believe it or not, it doesn't make sense because I did martial arts my whole life.
01:29:10.000 I was trying to avoid hostility.
01:29:11.000 I don't want to argue.
01:29:13.000 I don't want any conflict.
01:29:14.000 I don't want to compete.
01:29:16.000 The beautiful thing about stand-up comedy is you're creating it yourself.
01:29:19.000 You go up there, you do it.
01:29:20.000 You don't have to argue with people about it.
01:29:22.000 If they don't like it, they're not going to laugh, and then you're fucked.
01:29:24.000 You've got to restructure it and figure it out yourself.
01:29:27.000 That's how I feel about writing books.
01:29:28.000 I mean, sometimes I miss like an idealized team kind of environment because I know how wonderful that can be.
01:29:35.000 But the reality is that generally when you work with people, you don't necessarily like each other.
01:29:41.000 And it's a pain in the ass because of all the weird ego shit.
01:29:45.000 So I kind of like that I can, at least for a while, make a living sitting in a room alone.
01:29:50.000 You know, it's...
01:29:52.000 It's got its ups and its downs, of course.
01:29:54.000 There's also a positive aspect from the reader's point of view that if I read a Chris Ryan book, I know I'm getting Chris Ryan's thoughts.
01:30:00.000 They're coming unadulterated from your mind to your typewriter, your keyboard, rather.
01:30:06.000 Yeah, and that's something I'm conscious of.
01:30:08.000 I read, I don't know, maybe it was that book you recommended to me, The War of Art.
01:30:13.000 But somewhere I read, someone said, always write posthumously.
01:30:21.000 Write as if you're dead, because you will be, and the book will still be there.
01:30:26.000 So, like, let go.
01:30:29.000 Say what's true.
01:30:30.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:30:31.000 That's amazing.
01:30:32.000 Yeah, that's way better than if you're a Beverly Hills housewife.
01:30:35.000 You're going to write some shit that's only based on what's going to sell.
01:30:39.000 You know what I mean?
01:30:40.000 They'll create these things like, okay, how is this going to work the best?
01:30:45.000 I don't mean to single them out, but just like some people that write some books where it's pretty obvious as they're writing the book, they're kind of bullshitting who they are and what they're projecting.
01:30:54.000 Yeah, this will connect with that part of the audience, but I don't want to offend that part.
01:30:58.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:30:59.000 You know, you're talking earlier about that whole ebb and flow idea, the mathematical sort of it all equals out at the end.
01:31:06.000 I've thought about that a lot, not so much in terms of individuals, though it makes sense, but I've thought about that a lot in terms of historical moments, historical periods.
01:31:16.000 You know, like Vietnam, the late 60s, right?
01:31:19.000 Like 65 to 71. That's when more Americans are dying in Vietnam than any other period earlier than that.
01:31:29.000 Before they ramped up, it wasn't as many.
01:31:31.000 So you've got all this conflict, all these riots in the streets.
01:31:35.000 You've got Selma and Martin Luther King and all this agitation.
01:31:39.000 And at the same time, you've got Jimi Hendrix.
01:31:41.000 You've got the Beatles.
01:31:42.000 You've got all this music we're talking about.
01:31:44.000 Amazing literature coming out of that.
01:31:46.000 Fashion, craziness, tie-dyes and afros.
01:31:50.000 It's like...
01:31:51.000 When the shit hits the fan, it's really interesting, you know?
01:31:55.000 And interesting people rise to the top, whereas when things are stable, the interesting people just, you know, they don't get anywhere, because the structures are rigid and controlling, you know?
01:32:07.000 Well, sometimes there's a need for reform and change that makes these interesting things blossom almost out of pressure, almost out of like two rocks pushing together in the Creator.
01:32:19.000 There's this effect that happens because people are pushed into a certain way.
01:32:23.000 And in that sense, there's always been the argument that we need a certain amount of evil to appreciate love, to appreciate happiness.
01:32:30.000 And good times.
01:32:31.000 We almost need a certain amount.
01:32:35.000 This is in certainly no way supporting war, but people who look at war, like people in this country especially, as just something, and they don't think about it deeply, they don't think about it...
01:32:49.000 In a way where they comprehend the loss of lives and the sadness and the sorrow.
01:32:54.000 They just look at it as those are our heroes.
01:32:55.000 They got to do what they got to do over there so we could do what we do over here.
01:32:58.000 All right!
01:32:59.000 And it's like this really surface way of looking at this thing.
01:32:59.000 Woo!
01:33:05.000 It's almost because they're not experiencing the suffering.
01:33:09.000 It's almost because they're not experiencing the sorrow.
01:33:11.000 The appreciation that you have of not being at war shouldn't be that someone's over there fighting war so that you don't have to have war.
01:33:20.000 It should be that you realize that people can get along.
01:33:24.000 That people can love each other.
01:33:25.000 We can be friendly.
01:33:26.000 We can be nice.
01:33:26.000 You can go to a farmer's market and everybody's saying hi.
01:33:29.000 You know, that's a bad example.
01:33:31.000 But, you know, we can interact with each other in a positive way.
01:33:34.000 Or we could fight over an oil hole.
01:33:37.000 You know, we could shoot each other and kill babies and fucking gun down innocents in untold numbers over an oil hole.
01:33:43.000 I mean, it's almost like having no interaction with it.
01:33:48.000 And also having this...
01:33:50.000 Sort of archetypal patriotism that everyone subscribes to.
01:33:55.000 There's a very cookie-cutter vibration that certain types of patriot-type people give off.
01:34:01.000 This is where we're going to operate.
01:34:04.000 We're going to operate in this very small box.
01:34:06.000 Where the soldiers are heroes, and there's no doubt they're doing what they do over there so we can do what we do over here.
01:34:11.000 And they'll repeat that mantra over and over again without any consideration whatsoever for what it means as human beings.
01:34:19.000 You're dealing with groups of human beings fighting other groups of human beings for some reason that has not really been clearly defined to me.
01:34:28.000 That most of the people fighting have no clue what it is.
01:34:31.000 Yeah.
01:34:31.000 None of us do.
01:34:32.000 Very few of us do.
01:34:33.000 And I think that...
01:34:35.000 For someone who goes over there and experiences it, it's probably got to be really weird to see that sort of cookie-cutter version of it being expressed by people.
01:34:49.000 I have quite a few friends that have been overseas and been involved in the war, and you talk to them, and man, they have sorrow.
01:34:57.000 They have some horrible stories.
01:34:59.000 They have some shit they don't like to remember.
01:35:00.000 They have some really difficult things.
01:35:03.000 You know this Brian Williams thing that happened in the news?
01:35:06.000 One of the things that I took from it, especially hard, was not that Brian Williams was not telling the truth, because I think he's a fucking Hollywood guy.
01:35:15.000 He's just a showbiz guy.
01:35:17.000 He's an actor.
01:35:17.000 Exactly.
01:35:18.000 He's an actor that reads the prompter instead of a script.
01:35:21.000 He acts like a standard actor.
01:35:24.000 I mean, like, they have the tie and they talk like most of them do.
01:35:28.000 I made a mistake.
01:35:29.000 You know, like, come on, man.
01:35:30.000 You're fucking lying.
01:35:31.000 You lied.
01:35:31.000 You lied about some shit that went down.
01:35:33.000 But what hit me harder was the pilot that was involved.
01:35:39.000 Because there was a pilot involved that gave his version of the story and did some interviews.
01:35:42.000 And he said...
01:35:44.000 That they were in a helicopter, and the helicopter took small arms fire, and that the helicopter in front of them was the one that got hit with the RPG. And it wasn't the one that Brian Williams was in.
01:35:54.000 But he was telling his story about this, and then people started questioning, no, you weren't in the helicopter with Brian Williams.
01:36:01.000 This guy was in the helicopter with Brian Williams.
01:36:03.000 And so the guy says, man, you know what?
01:36:04.000 I don't really completely remember, but it's hard for me to go over this.
01:36:10.000 I had put it aside.
01:36:11.000 But now that I'm being forced to remember it, the nightmares are coming back and I'm having a really hard time sleeping.
01:36:14.000 Oh, really?
01:36:15.000 And he was talking about it.
01:36:16.000 He said, I don't really want to talk about it anymore.
01:36:17.000 You know, I said what I had to say.
01:36:19.000 This guy is certainly not lying.
01:36:21.000 He certainly did serve.
01:36:22.000 He certainly did get shot at.
01:36:23.000 He certainly did see some horrific things.
01:36:25.000 No one questions that.
01:36:25.000 There's no doubt about that.
01:36:26.000 They're just questioning his version of events versus a couple other people have their version of the events.
01:36:33.000 And it's just so much trauma involved in this guy's experiences over there that he's like, I had tried my best to forget about it.
01:36:39.000 This was what I can remember.
01:36:41.000 When people ask me about my experience with Brian Williams, this is what happened.
01:36:44.000 And he gave a very logical account of it.
01:36:46.000 The reason why we were an hour late, he said, is because we had to drop off a payload.
01:36:49.000 We dropped off our payload, and then it took us about an hour, and then we went to the site where the guys landed, and then we all...
01:36:55.000 Had huddled down together in a sandstorm, and it was an incredibly traumatic event for all involved.
01:37:02.000 So, I'm not giving Brian Williams a free pass, because he remembered this in a fucked up way, because I do think he bullshitted it.
01:37:07.000 I think he added a bunch of shit to his version of it, and put himself in more danger, because he didn't think that anybody had put the pieces together.
01:37:14.000 And when it came out...
01:37:16.000 Look, his story as itself would have been just as good if he said the helicopter in front of us got hit with an RPG. It doesn't make you better because you almost died.
01:37:24.000 You definitely almost died anyway.
01:37:26.000 Like his version, the real version, he almost died.
01:37:29.000 The real version, he still was in a convoy that got shot at.
01:37:32.000 His helicopter didn't.
01:37:34.000 They were all forced to land and endure a sandstorm for two days.
01:37:37.000 I mean, that version is amazing.
01:37:39.000 You don't have to...
01:37:39.000 But it's indicative of the kind of bullshit artists that we have that are reading off the news that he didn't like that version.
01:37:46.000 He wanted to jazz it up.
01:37:47.000 He wanted to make a little bit better.
01:37:49.000 My life was in danger for the news!
01:37:52.000 But it is, as we started this conversation, talking about how unreliable memory is, right?
01:37:57.000 And Milan Kundera said, memory is not the opposite of forgetting, it's a way of forgetting, right?
01:38:04.000 Because we do, we remember things, you know, based on emotions, and over time it changes, and especially a story like that.
01:38:13.000 I know a guy who's a compulsive liar.
01:38:15.000 I mean, within 15 minutes of meeting this guy, he told me he had trained with the SEALs, he had played semi-professional basketball in Europe, and he owned this amazing apartment that we were in that I knew he didn't own, his boss owned, who was this billionaire guy.
01:38:30.000 And he was the private pilot of this billionaire guy, this friend of mine, right?
01:38:36.000 And so I knew this guy was full of shit, but I also knew he flies a fucking Learjet for a living.
01:38:43.000 He's like on standby to fly this guy wherever around the world.
01:38:47.000 Like, dude, that's a good story in itself.
01:38:50.000 You don't need to lie, you know?
01:38:52.000 The guy who's working at Starbucks, okay, you make up some shit.
01:38:55.000 Why not?
01:38:56.000 You know?
01:38:57.000 Gets you through the night, but...
01:38:59.000 You're a fucking pilot?
01:39:00.000 I knew a dude who was a successful comedian and a multi-millionaire and would do really well, but he's a compulsive liar.
01:39:07.000 If you started talking to him about something that you do uniquely, he would also do it.
01:39:12.000 If you talked to him about going to the jungle and researching ants, he would tell you about his time.
01:39:20.000 Always a little better than your story, right?
01:39:22.000 He smoked cigarettes, and he would tell me about his kickboxing experiences with world champions.
01:39:22.000 Yeah.
01:39:28.000 That's ballsy, though.
01:39:29.000 Like, to get into your realm, right?
01:39:32.000 Oh, it was ridiculous.
01:39:33.000 It's funny.
01:39:34.000 That's high risk.
01:39:35.000 Well, he was crazy.
01:39:36.000 He still is completely crazy.
01:39:38.000 But he's really talented, too, which is interesting.
01:39:40.000 He's a really good comic.
01:39:42.000 So it's like, I can't give his name away, folks.
01:39:44.000 I'm so sorry.
01:39:45.000 So maybe he likes the thrill, like that maybe you're going to call him out.
01:39:50.000 There's no masochistic?
01:39:50.000 I don't think so.
01:39:50.000 Nope.
01:39:52.000 Nope, just ego and alcohol and a bunch of craziness, but smoking cigarettes tell me about how he's just sparring eight rounds with a world champion, which isn't totally impossible.
01:40:02.000 I had this guy in Joe Schilling recently, he's one of the best kickboxers in the world, and he admitted on the podcast he smokes cigarettes on a regular basis.
01:40:08.000 It's fucking crazy!
01:40:10.000 But he's also, outside of that, very dedicated as an athlete.
01:40:14.000 It's ridiculous that he smokes cigarettes in an endurance sport.
01:40:17.000 But he's a bad motherfucker.
01:40:18.000 I mean, bonafide, legit, trains all day.
01:40:21.000 This guy wasn't training.
01:40:21.000 This guy's drinking all the time.
01:40:23.000 I know he wasn't kickboxing.
01:40:25.000 He's nuts.
01:40:26.000 But he almost can't help himself.
01:40:29.000 He starts talking, and he just comes out, and then he gets away.
01:40:32.000 There's a weird craziness.
01:40:34.000 I remember meeting a guy once at a wine tasting who told me he was a demigod.
01:40:39.000 What does that mean?
01:40:40.000 Well, that's what I asked.
01:40:41.000 What does that mean?
01:40:42.000 Well, it means I'm half human.
01:40:44.000 My father was human.
01:40:45.000 My mother was from...
01:40:46.000 And he tells me some Latin word for a star system somewhere.
01:40:51.000 And he said, like, again, within 15 minutes, he said that he was the highest paid artist in the world because he had designed that Atlas thing in front of Rockefeller Center, which was the highest, like,
01:41:07.000 most expensive piece of art, any whatever, like, whatever, blah, blah, blah.
01:41:10.000 And I was fascinated.
01:41:12.000 And the guy was a super good-looking dude.
01:41:14.000 He had a little beard, and he was big and dark.
01:41:18.000 He looked like Satan, like the Mephistopheles kind of thing.
01:41:22.000 And I thought he was bullshitting me.
01:41:24.000 I thought that my friend had put him up to it, because I was high, and I was just like...
01:41:29.000 So he thought he was just acting, like he was just being silly.
01:41:31.000 I thought he was goofing.
01:41:32.000 You know, and that after a few minutes he'd break character and we'd all get a good laugh out of it.
01:41:36.000 And I even called my friend.
01:41:37.000 I was like, hey, Dave, come over here.
01:41:39.000 I'm talking to the devil here.
01:41:40.000 He's got some great stories.
01:41:43.000 And then Cassie was there and then she came and he got into her and he started trying to impress her and telling her all these stories.
01:41:51.000 And she's a psychiatrist, right?
01:41:52.000 She sees bullshit like before the rest of us even know it's coming, you know?
01:41:57.000 It was very funny, like the whole interaction.
01:42:00.000 Wow.
01:42:01.000 Yeah, but it's a form of insanity.
01:42:04.000 People have to scratch that itch.
01:42:06.000 I don't know.
01:42:07.000 And they kind of keep moving.
01:42:08.000 Those people, almost by nature, have to keep moving.
01:42:11.000 Because they leave a mess behind them.
01:42:12.000 Their lives implode.
01:42:14.000 The lies come down and cave in on them, and then they've got to find some new person to sucker in.
01:42:19.000 And that does happen.
01:42:20.000 You know, you see that.
01:42:21.000 You see people drifting from one group of people to the other group of people.
01:42:25.000 And I've seen it.
01:42:26.000 I've seen it happen.
01:42:27.000 Yeah.
01:42:27.000 It's weird.
01:42:28.000 It's weird when you meet someone who's just obviously full of shit and lying through their teeth as they're talking.
01:42:33.000 It's a very strange thing.
01:42:34.000 Like, do you know that I know?
01:42:35.000 And you're just going to, like, hope that I don't call you on it?
01:42:38.000 Because you've seen that before, too, right?
01:42:39.000 Or you want me to.
01:42:40.000 Yeah.
01:42:41.000 I wonder about that, too.
01:42:42.000 Like, some people...
01:42:44.000 Well, again, you know, my wife's a psychiatrist.
01:42:47.000 She's dealt with all this kind of stuff.
01:42:49.000 And she laughs.
01:42:50.000 She just cracks up when she sees it.
01:42:53.000 She sees it immediately and just like...
01:42:55.000 Her way of dealing with insanity is laughter.
01:42:58.000 And she works with...
01:43:00.000 Well, she's worked with all sorts of people, but her sort of specialization is...
01:43:09.000 I remember going in with her the first time I visited her at work.
01:43:13.000 She was running a mental hospital with like double doors and bars over the windows.
01:43:18.000 These criminally insane people who had killed their kids and, you know, like crazy shit, right?
01:43:24.000 And we went in there.
01:43:25.000 I wasn't prepared, man.
01:43:27.000 We went in and it was just like lunatics.
01:43:31.000 And there was this woman, like must have been in her mid-50s, lying on her back in a little nightgown, no underwear, with her like arms and legs, you know, like a crab, doing a crab thing.
01:43:43.000 And we walk in, and it's like this, you know, pussy, and the whole scene just scared the shit out of me.
01:43:48.000 And Casilda just started laughing, like, you crazy old lady, what are you doing?
01:43:53.000 Get up from there!
01:43:55.000 She just, like, laughs.
01:43:57.000 And the thing that I didn't understand until I hung out with her is that people who are psychotic know they're psychotic.
01:44:06.000 And so they kind of know how ridiculous they are.
01:44:11.000 And as a doctor, when she laughs, she laughs in such a loving, accepting, I get you kind of way that it creates this instant rapport and they start laughing.
01:44:22.000 Oh, so she like relieves a little tension.
01:44:25.000 Right.
01:44:25.000 Like it's all, okay, I know you're just another crazy person.
01:44:28.000 I deal with you all the time and come on.
01:44:30.000 It's kind of like how a gynecologist, I imagine, would have to sort of be so laid back that you kind of, you know, okay, he's seen a million pussies.
01:44:39.000 It relaxes you in a way.
01:44:43.000 I think she does that with crazy people.
01:44:46.000 It's normal people who make her really uncomfortable.
01:44:49.000 Oh, yeah.
01:44:49.000 I mean, imagine if you were a gynecologist and you were super nervous about seeing someone's pussy.
01:44:55.000 Okay, I guess we're about to do it.
01:44:57.000 Hold on.
01:44:58.000 Throw some water on my face.
01:44:59.000 Let me have a little more wine.
01:45:01.000 Okay, take your panties off.
01:45:03.000 Oh, Jesus, it's happening!
01:45:04.000 It's happening!
01:45:05.000 All right, let's see what you got wrong down there.
01:45:08.000 I'm going to look.
01:45:09.000 I'm looking.
01:45:09.000 I'm going to look.
01:45:10.000 Gonna use a mirror.
01:45:10.000 I'm looking!
01:45:12.000 Like it's a fucking vampire.
01:45:15.000 It's Medusa.
01:45:16.000 You can't look it in the eyes.
01:45:18.000 So if you had to have a job, like a normal job, what job would you be good at?
01:45:23.000 What would you want to do?
01:45:24.000 Not a gynecologist, I imagine.
01:45:27.000 Outside of comedy, I would probably be a martial arts instructor.
01:45:31.000 I enjoyed doing that.
01:45:32.000 You like teaching?
01:45:33.000 Yeah, I enjoyed teaching.
01:45:34.000 I'll bet you're good with kids, I'll bet.
01:45:35.000 I enjoyed it.
01:45:36.000 Yeah, I used to teach kids class.
01:45:37.000 I taught a lot of kids.
01:45:38.000 I taught several kids from white belt all the way up to higher belts.
01:45:45.000 I don't think I taught anybody up to black belt, but I got pretty close.
01:45:48.000 Because it takes quite a few years to achieve black belt.
01:45:51.000 So for most of them, it is very rare that they make it to that far.
01:45:56.000 They'll learn some lessons along the way and it'll help them, you know, in life, but to achieve that level of ability is a lot of commitment.
01:46:05.000 So most of them didn't make it.
01:46:06.000 It's like maybe one out of a thousand ever make it to Blackpool.
01:46:09.000 Really?
01:46:09.000 Probably.
01:46:10.000 In a good school, maybe, I mean, might be one out of 500 or 600, but it's close to a thousand, whatever it is.
01:46:18.000 It's not 1% by any stretch of the imagination.
01:46:21.000 It's probably, at a good estimate, one-tenth or one-percent.
01:46:26.000 I imagine you'd be really good in that kind of an environment, not just martial arts, but kids in general, because there's sort of an immediate respect.
01:46:37.000 You know, you look like a badass.
01:46:40.000 So it's like, oh, take that guy seriously.
01:46:42.000 Well, I like kids.
01:46:43.000 Yeah, and you're amenable.
01:46:45.000 You're open to them.
01:46:46.000 I also, I'm a big take-in-strays sort of guy.
01:46:50.000 I've always taken in stray dogs and cats and people.
01:46:52.000 Yeah, I've been following your Instagram.
01:46:54.000 Lots of good cat shots in there recently.
01:46:56.000 I got a new kitten.
01:46:57.000 I love cats, man.
01:46:58.000 I do, too.
01:46:59.000 They're fun to have around.
01:46:59.000 They're fun.
01:47:00.000 They don't require your constant attention, too.
01:47:02.000 They've got dignity.
01:47:03.000 They've got their own life, man.
01:47:04.000 And especially the key, which you obviously understand, is have multiple cats.
01:47:10.000 Yeah.
01:47:10.000 Don't have one cat, because then you're going to have the neurotic, freaked-out cat pissing in your bed.
01:47:14.000 But the difference between no cat and a cat is significant.
01:47:18.000 The difference between one cat and two cats is negligible.
01:47:21.000 Yeah.
01:47:22.000 Right, as far as like the toll on you.
01:47:24.000 Whatever, yeah.
01:47:25.000 I mean, so get a few cats if you're going to get a cat.
01:47:28.000 And so they have each other when you're not around.
01:47:30.000 Yeah.
01:47:31.000 Yeah, I got three of them.
01:47:31.000 You know?
01:47:32.000 Yeah, that's what we had, three.
01:47:34.000 You know, interesting enough, teaching was one of the things that really helped me on Fear Factor.
01:47:34.000 Plan.
01:47:40.000 Which Fear Factor seems like it's such a stupid show.
01:47:43.000 And it was kind of dumb.
01:47:44.000 But...
01:47:45.000 It was some people that were really freaked out and didn't know how to deal with the stress of competition.
01:47:51.000 And I was so used to it.
01:47:53.000 I was so used to not just teaching, but coaching.
01:47:56.000 Even when I retired, my friend Dimitri was fighting in this big national tournament and I was in his corner.
01:48:02.000 And I pumped him up.
01:48:04.000 It was one of his best performances ever.
01:48:06.000 I'm good at getting inside of people's heads, especially people that I know, and telling them what they need to hear to get them to go out there and fire them the fuck up.
01:48:14.000 And telling them what you're really good at, man.
01:48:16.000 You can do this.
01:48:17.000 And it's all about not having any doubt.
01:48:19.000 It's all about knowing how to stay intense and focused and go out there and do what needs to be done.
01:48:25.000 And giving them this sort of technical advice as well as this emotional pick-me-up.
01:48:31.000 Some people have a knack for that, and I developed it by teaching kids.
01:48:35.000 Because kids are always freaked out, man.
01:48:37.000 I took a lot of kids to tournaments.
01:48:39.000 And they'd be fighting other little kids, and most likely they wouldn't get hurt.
01:48:42.000 But when you've got a little seven-year-old in front of you, and you're putting pads on his head to protect him from kicks, and you're like, listen, you've just got to stay focused and don't be afraid.
01:48:51.000 All you need to think about is what you're doing.
01:48:54.000 Don't think about what happens if it goes wrong.
01:48:56.000 Never think of that.
01:48:57.000 Always think about what are you trying to do.
01:48:59.000 And if things go wrong, reset and think about it again.
01:49:02.000 What is my objective?
01:49:03.000 What am I trying to do?
01:49:04.000 Stay defensive, keep moving, never stand in one place, never stand put, always keep fainting, always keep the opponent guessing, and I'd go over all the most important things to them and then pump them up and tell them, you can do this.
01:49:16.000 When you get through this, you're going to feel so good.
01:49:18.000 I know you feel terrible now, but as terrible as you feel now, when it's over, you're going to feel so good.
01:49:22.000 And when they would do it and they would compete, even if they would lose, they'd be so relieved.
01:49:25.000 I'm like, see?
01:49:26.000 Now you feel good.
01:49:27.000 And this experience, this harrowing, stressful experience, can give birth to this new appreciation of peace.
01:49:35.000 It's the yin-yang again, right?
01:49:35.000 Right.
01:49:37.000 Exactly.
01:49:37.000 We were talking about earlier.
01:49:38.000 I read a book recently, a fascinating book called Paradise Made in Hell.
01:49:44.000 Rebecca Solnit, and it's about disaster sociology, right?
01:49:48.000 So it's studying people's behavior in disasters, right?
01:49:54.000 And so it's fascinating because the idea we have is, like, that's when people get really crazy and they loot and pillage and, you know, oh, now I can rape and nobody will catch me and there are no cops.
01:50:05.000 And in fact, what happens is the opposite.
01:50:07.000 That's when people are most generous, most kind.
01:50:10.000 They form communities.
01:50:11.000 They meet the neighbors they never said a fucking word to for 10 years.
01:50:14.000 They're, like, taking care of each other.
01:50:17.000 And people, and it sort of relates to war, too, you know.
01:50:21.000 People look back on it, and they say, yeah, there was a lot of horrible shit.
01:50:25.000 People were dying.
01:50:26.000 Stuff was happening.
01:50:27.000 But I remember it as the best time of my life.
01:50:29.000 Wow.
01:50:30.000 And the main guy, there's this really moving passage where this guy who sort of started the field, who's no hippie, he teaches at Nebraska or something, he's like a very straight-up scientist, but he said, the best way to think about disasters is not as a disaster,
01:50:48.000 but as relief from the disaster that is normal life.
01:50:54.000 Because in normal life, we're all isolated, we're all suffering alone.
01:50:58.000 And he's like, man, when the shit hits the fan, that's when things get really wonderful.
01:51:05.000 Well, there's no escaping the fact that it's finite when you're watching people die around you, that's for sure.
01:51:09.000 Yeah.
01:51:10.000 Yeah, and again, it's like you were saying about you need the pain to enjoy the pleasure.
01:51:14.000 You need hunger to enjoy the food.
01:51:16.000 You need loneliness to enjoy companionship.
01:51:20.000 There is no light without dark.
01:51:22.000 There really isn't, right?
01:51:23.000 And I think one of the things that people miss in their lives that leads people to become very...
01:51:30.000 Stagnant and disappointed in their existence is that there's no thrills.
01:51:35.000 I think that's what leads people to get divorced or to become drug addicts or to be self-destructive.
01:51:43.000 It's almost like people need thrills and when you get stuck in a really secure job Mm-hmm.
01:52:10.000 To this group of people that are all doing the same thing, and you're going to do it every week, and at the end of the week, you know, when the day's done, then you can go home, and you can relax.
01:52:18.000 But there's going to be no thrills.
01:52:20.000 The biggest thrill would be merging onto the highway.
01:52:23.000 Oh my god, here we go!
01:52:24.000 Like, other than that, there's nothing.
01:52:25.000 There's no ups.
01:52:26.000 It's all just steady and normal.
01:52:29.000 And I think that's one of the reasons why people have so much road rage and stress, and there's no real experience.
01:52:36.000 Yeah, they're not flushing out.
01:52:38.000 I often say in Spanish, the word aislar means both to insulate and to isolate.
01:52:46.000 So we, you know, and this gets into this whole book I'm writing, like civilization is largely an attempt to insulate ourselves from...
01:53:02.000 We try to insulate ourselves from it.
01:53:07.000 And then at the end, we're isolated, right?
01:53:09.000 Because we're surrounded by this margin, this moat that protects us from what?
01:53:14.000 From life, right?
01:53:16.000 From the thing that makes you feel alive.
01:53:18.000 Like, okay, you want to be completely safe?
01:53:20.000 You know, get inside this coffin.
01:53:22.000 You know, and, you know, take some anesthetics and you won't feel a goddamn thing.
01:53:27.000 But how's that different from being dead?
01:53:29.000 It seems like we're all doing our part in this existence and we're moving past what we used to be from single-celled organisms to higher primates to some weird thing right now that's a combination of conscious being and physical animal.
01:53:46.000 Someone like Duncan.
01:53:47.000 Someone like Duncan.
01:53:48.000 And we're moving in this sort of advancing direction and it's not done.
01:53:54.000 We're a part of a great process.
01:53:58.000 The stage that you and I are in, they're going to look back at us and laugh the way we look back at Isaac Newton wearing a powdered wig or any of the...
01:54:05.000 Weirdos that figured out all sorts of incredible things back in history, but also believed a bunch of stupid shit as well.
01:54:12.000 You look back at Copernicus and the things that he discovered, and it's unbelievable and amazing.
01:54:18.000 But today, it's like, duh.
01:54:20.000 Everybody already knows that.
01:54:21.000 Look at the life that you live.
01:54:23.000 Imagine being Darwin and trying to express these ideas that you formulated over the course of your life's work to a bunch of Christian scientists, which is what he was dealing with.
01:54:34.000 It's hilarious.
01:54:35.000 If you go back and think about it today, his challenges of this idea of this monotheistic world that the scientist pretty much universally existed in at that time and tries to push forth these crazy theories that he's coming up with,
01:54:51.000 Uniquely, on his own.
01:54:53.000 I mean, the resistance that he must have experienced to something that today is instantaneously accepted by everyone that's in academia, in science, I mean, almost across the board, his ideas are accepted.
01:55:07.000 So we look back at those times and we go, God, they're fucking so stupid back then.
01:55:12.000 Well, they're going to do that to us.
01:55:13.000 And it's not going to be that long.
01:55:15.000 I mean, with Darwin, you're talking about a few hundred years.
01:55:18.000 With us, it's going to be a few decades.
01:55:20.000 Because everything goes faster now.
01:55:20.000 And then a few decades...
01:55:22.000 Yeah, it's faster and faster and faster.
01:55:23.000 And we're in the middle of this.
01:55:24.000 We're in the middle of this weird process of human beings changing and becoming more aware of all the flaws and the folly in our civilization and our existence.
01:55:34.000 And all the shit we're fighting for today, all the protests like Black Lives Matter and, you know, people fighting for rights of, you know, everyone across the board from women to gays to this to that.
01:55:45.000 What we're doing is we're trying to patch up the holes in this crazy system with agitation and anger and loud voices and social media campaigns and it's essentially all just trying to make this thing into a more coherent, more advanced version of what it is now and then that in turn will find the inherent problems in its existence and it will move just like the monkeys from You know,
01:56:10.000 200,000 years ago that became human beings were fighting off all these different creatures and realized, like, yo, we gotta make houses.
01:56:17.000 This is bullshit.
01:56:18.000 Like, this fucking living in trees is bullshit.
01:56:21.000 The cats climb trees, man.
01:56:23.000 I'm fucking tired of my babies getting eaten.
01:56:25.000 Like, let's figure out spears and snakes.
01:56:27.000 You know, let's figure a way to make a better situation.
01:56:32.000 And I think we're in the middle of that, man.
01:56:34.000 I think we just, like all things, you take it for granted that you're in the middle of it.
01:56:38.000 If you look back on your childhood, you know, and today you look back and you go, wow, when I was 10, I was doing this and I was doing that.
01:56:45.000 But when you were 10, you were just in the middle of it.
01:56:47.000 You know, you look back on how much progress has taken place in your own life as a microcosm to your existence.
01:56:54.000 All of our existence, your own individual memories and your own individual experiences, you're in the middle of it.
01:57:02.000 As civilization, we're in the middle of this babyhood.
01:57:06.000 We're in the middle of this adolescence, whatever the fuck it is.
01:57:08.000 And we're moving into some new place.
01:57:11.000 And it's arrogant, but very common for people to think we're at the end of it.
01:57:15.000 Like, this is the cutting edge.
01:57:16.000 It is the edge, but it's not the end.
01:57:18.000 It's not...
01:57:19.000 Perfection.
01:57:19.000 It's like yeah, it's always always in process always in process But amazing to think that right now we are at the pinnacle of human knowledge We are at the peak the tip of the spear as far as like everything that people have learned and figured out up until now We have this database we've accumulated from hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years of records and then you know after that it gets a little sketchy and You go a few thousand years,
01:57:45.000 things get real weird in different languages.
01:57:47.000 Things get even weirder and it gets more vague and more strange, more difficult to decipher.
01:57:50.000 But all that data that we've accumulated and the access to it that we have today, unprecedented as far as we know in people.
01:57:58.000 It's amazing.
01:57:59.000 It's amazing to be at that time.
01:58:01.000 When you have a question, you just like with a psychology, psychopathy thing, we just bang, we just Google it and we didn't have to go to a library, we didn't have to order a book, we didn't have to Go to a bookstore or go to a class.
01:58:13.000 You just instantaneously get that information.
01:58:16.000 And I think that that is accelerating us in a way that we can't even comprehend.
01:58:21.000 Yeah, no doubt.
01:58:23.000 Yeah, I think we're all experiencing it in a way that it seems so normal because everyone has a phone, you know?
01:58:30.000 Whoa, let me just check my phone and see.
01:58:34.000 Let me just call my friend who's nowhere near me.
01:58:37.000 And, you know, this affects, getting back to the earlier thing about aging, right?
01:58:42.000 Like, this affects the experience of aging because more has changed in our lifetimes because it's always accelerating.
01:58:50.000 Yeah.
01:58:51.000 That, like, I remember the first computer I interacted with, right?
01:58:54.000 It was, I was in my late 20s working in the Diamond District in New York, and one of my jobs was to back up The disks in this computer.
01:59:03.000 The computer was the size of a big refrigerator.
01:59:06.000 And the disks were like, you know, double the circumference of an album.
01:59:11.000 And they were these massive things.
01:59:14.000 And they were probably like 50 megabytes each or something, you know?
01:59:16.000 If that, right?
01:59:17.000 If that, right.
01:59:18.000 I mean, I probably got a thousand times the computing power in my pocket right now.
01:59:22.000 It's just insane.
01:59:24.000 Maybe even more than a thousand.
01:59:25.000 Yeah, I don't know how it works.
01:59:27.000 Yeah.
01:59:27.000 Hey, I gotta roll.
01:59:29.000 Get out of here, man.
01:59:29.000 Yeah.
01:59:30.000 You got things to do.
01:59:31.000 I'm gonna see you this weekend?
01:59:32.000 I'm tempted to miss the plane.
01:59:34.000 When's your flight?
01:59:34.000 This is so much fun.
01:59:35.000 It's not the plane, it's the rental car.
01:59:37.000 Oh, okay.
01:59:38.000 They're gonna rape me if I'm late.
01:59:39.000 We'll hang out this weekend, and we're promising to do one with you, me, and Duncan again.
01:59:43.000 We're gonna figure it out.
01:59:44.000 I know, we've been getting tweets.
01:59:45.000 Everybody's busy, folks.
01:59:46.000 Shit happens.
01:59:47.000 But we'll get it together.
01:59:49.000 We'll get it together.
01:59:49.000 But thank you, brother.
01:59:50.000 You guys pick a date.
01:59:50.000 Appreciate it.
01:59:51.000 I'll fly down for it, for sure.
01:59:52.000 And you can follow Chris on Twitter.
01:59:54.000 Is it ChrisRyanPhD?
01:59:57.000 Yeah.
01:59:57.000 Or it's Christopher Ryan.
01:59:58.000 Chris Ryan.
01:59:58.000 Chris Ryan?
01:59:59.000 Chris Ryan, PhD.
02:00:00.000 The one book that you can buy that he has is Sex at Dawn.
02:00:05.000 Fantastic book.
02:00:06.000 Guaranteed to piss off your wife.
02:00:08.000 Leave that shit around.
02:00:10.000 What are you reading?
02:00:11.000 Getting these fucking ideas out of your head.
02:00:13.000 Chris Ryan, ladies and gentlemen.
02:00:15.000 Thank you, brother.
02:00:15.000 It was a lot of fun.
02:00:15.000 Appreciate it, man.
02:00:16.000 Bye-bye.
02:00:16.000 Yeah.
02:00:28.000 Thank you.