Julian Ray's new book The Real Man is out now and it's a must read for every man who wants to know how to be a better man. We talk about the book, his dating profile, and why he should be on The Ding Dong Show. We also talk about his new book and why it's one of the most hilarious books we've ever read. We also discuss why Julian Ray's book is the worst book ever written and why you should read it if you haven't already done so. And of course, we talk about why we think Julian Ray is a douchebag and why everyone should read his book. If you don't already know Julian Ray, then you're in for a treat. He's a standup comic, stand-up comedian, comedian, writer, and all-around funny guy. Julian Ray wrote a book that is a must-read book for all men who want to be better than the rest of the other dudes in the dating world. We don't even need to go into the details, we'll just talk about it and talk about how hilarious it is and how he is. Enjoy and spread the word to your friends and family about it! Tom & Tommy -Your Mom's House is a podcast where we're here to help you be the best man you can be. We're not here to serve you, we are here to save you from the worst guy in the world, not the best guy you know. . Enjoy! -Tom & Tommy XOXOXOXO xoxo -The Real Man - The Real Men by Julian Ray XOXO is a comedian, a writer, stand up comedian, standup comedian and podcaster, actor, and writer, comedian and all around funny guy is here to give you the real man you need to know that you're not going to want to hear about it. The man who's got it all. XO is here for you, so you don t have to be scared of it and he's here to make you do it, you can do it. XO XO xO is the man to do it and you should listen to it by all of that, not just like that, right here, right there in this episode, right in this podcast, right now, right right here. xo xo XO.
00:01:02.000Ignore these guys that are they're whistling at you and saying things about the way I respect you But you know I mean like it's that play to get laid and writing that book is just his play To get pussy is what I'm saying, right?
00:01:16.000It's his play to separate himself from the pack by showing his wisdom Exactly and showing and being like I'm not a pig right like these other guys everyone else We're over it.
00:01:27.000What is that connected to TriCaster thing?
00:01:32.000If you don't see this live, what he has is this thing, this book where he has these yellow tabs at virtually everything interesting in the book.
00:01:42.000So they're overflowing with yellow tabs.
00:01:45.000And Tommy just goes to them and just laughing as he's going to each tab, just like that.
00:01:50.000Every time you go to the table, look at your face.
00:03:59.000Is there like misspellings in this book and everything?
00:04:02.000Because I'm looking at all the reviews, which are all your fans, I can tell, but it looks like he spelled breath wrong, or what's the breath thing?
00:04:37.000I go over that book with a fine-tooth comb, I don't find any flaws.
00:04:40.000Matter of fact, I think it might be the greatest piece of literature ever created.
00:04:43.000Yeah, and then, you know, people started, I think you said it, and then I got a bunch of emails from people being like, we have to make this a New York Times bestseller.
00:08:49.000Not only that, there's some people that even if they write a lot and get on stage a lot, for whatever reason, they're never going to figure it out.
00:08:54.000No matter what it is, whether it's being a musician or being good at fucking bowling.
00:09:00.000There's people that I played pool with back when I played pool.
00:09:07.000I mean, and I know it's not, I'm not saying it about just those people, but that is kind of a fascinating thing, where, like, you don't- They never get better.
00:09:33.000I don't think it's an athletic talent thing.
00:09:35.000I think it's like a focus thing or a desire thing.
00:09:39.000That's something you realize as you get older is that some people do not have the ability to hone in and like zone, focus on something really hard.
00:09:49.000Some people have an unbelievable, like the best athletes have this amazing ability to focus on their goal, on their training, on what they're doing.
00:09:59.000And then, you know, artists too, like they focus on their music, on their writing.
00:10:03.000And I've noticed that there's just people, friends in life who, they can't focus on anything.
00:10:09.000Like they can't make their job that they might like or not like.
00:10:16.000A big part of like they're you know wanting to get they want to get they want to progress But they don't know how to focus on getting better at it.
00:10:22.000They're like I wish I was further along But you're there they're just so scrambled all the time That's a really common thing with comedians and they pretend that they're not scrambled, right?
00:10:32.000They always want to tell you how organized they are now.
00:11:07.000And he was like, fuck, you know, what I'm going to do is on the second, because there's a second show, he's like, I'll do a whole other set.
00:11:39.000He didn't feel comfortable enough to do it.
00:11:42.000Well, sometimes when you're doing stand-up, especially When you're new, there's this mindset where you're so worried about the response that you're almost anticipating it while you're telling the joke, which distracts from your focus of the joke, which makes the joke bad.
00:11:59.000And you get super nervous and then you go into this weird shell.
00:12:03.000And that's when guys start busting out really familiar material just to try to get back on track or to get on track.
00:12:12.000And then he couldn't, I think he probably, he probably started with one joke from the first set, and then when that didn't, like, make him feel comfortable, he goes, I'll just keep doing the first set.
00:12:21.000He never felt comfortable enough to switch it up.
00:12:24.000Well, you know what guest sets, the problem with those things are, too?
00:12:26.000A lot of them are by dudes who don't work that much.
00:12:55.000I'll tell you this, this is something that totally changed, and it's because of, like, just practice at anything changes how you do, you know, how you do anything.
00:13:05.000And, you know, when I first started out, all my sets were 7 minutes and then 10 minutes and 15 minutes, you know, and so on.
00:13:12.000And there was a point where, like, I could do, like, just crazy good, solid work.
00:13:18.00010-minute sets and then now for the last couple years the majority of the time I'm on stage It's like an hour like that's what I you know you go up there you do an hour Now when I do a 10-minute set I'm like like what the fuck am I gonna do in 10 minutes?
00:13:35.000Yeah, I really like start to like figure like what should I and then you're like what should I take out of the hour to do here or how do I introduce a new 10 minutes?
00:13:43.000It's a whole different thing for me now That's why it's really hard for people to do TV shows, like Letterman or something like that.
00:19:15.000When people, like, work at comedy clubs, too, a lot of times, they have, like, the whole, like, PR thing or HR, human resources, never really comes into play.
00:19:45.000I can imagine a staff person at a club like that, and then they go over to Applebee's and people are probably like, yo, what is up with you and all your cum jokes?
00:19:56.000We're trying to serve the fucking Jack Daniels steak and shrimp.
00:20:05.000That's another thing that we need to realize as comedians, a very important thing that I try to tell as many young guys as possible.
00:20:12.000Everybody always wants to think that there's some sort of an adversarial relationship between you and the comedy club, especially in the beginning.
00:20:18.000Guys like, oh, they're not paying me enough money, or they don't give me good weekends, or this and that and that and this.
00:20:25.000There's always gonna be person-to-person conflicts, but here's what's important.
00:20:29.000If comedy clubs weren't around, we'd be fucked.
00:20:32.000So we need people to run comedy clubs.
00:20:34.000And guess who's not gonna run comedy clubs?
00:20:43.000So imagine being a non-comedian working with a bunch of fucking nutty comedians all the time with all their crazy problems and their addictions and their excuses and showing up late.
00:23:27.000And then he also does the clubs, which is everything we would consider like, I think clubs like, Everything below 500. Even like that place in Phoenix, that's kind of like a comedy club slash theater.
00:24:10.000They have TVs halfway through, so halfway through, if you're too far away, you can just look at a TV, like a UFC. And I did Irvine last month.
00:26:46.000Because I would say, Earth, listen, we're the only ones, out of all the shit that you got growing, the only ones that might be able to figure out how to divert a fucking asteroid.
00:28:19.000It's going to hit so hard that even if you do leave now in a spaceship, the aftershocks of the impact will blow your spaceship apart in space.
00:28:29.000So it's pointless to leave just every day.
00:31:22.000Like how fucking normal that is to us how you're like it's a hundred out and you walk in you're like everything's fine now like It's not just fine you watch TV in your underwear picking your balls Meanwhile you could not bad food on your driveway.
00:31:36.000Yeah, you literally cook food in your driveway And then of course the reality there's some people who don't have that obviously still who are like you're like Jesus imagine right now if I didn't have that like how in in the worst hot day how horrific The quality of life becomes.
00:31:59.000It's hard to imagine that anybody can endure those temperatures.
00:32:03.000I remember doing gigs in Vegas, July, August, where you're at one casino, whatever, the Bellagio, and you're like, I'm going to walk to the next one.
00:32:48.000I think you do adapt to a certain degree, because human beings were just so resilient, and you just, you do adapt to things.
00:32:53.000But I think there's also people you're like, you know that they die and well I know that Eskimos or you supposed to call them Inuits they their hands have adapted to deal with the cold like they don't get numb hands like we would if we went up there really their circulation is different their skins different and I also know that like my friend Steve Ranella was just in Bolivia and He has a podcast the meat-eater podcast.
00:33:16.000He's talking about this trip to Bolivia is pretty fascinating and One of the things that we're talking about is how it was really hot down there.
00:33:58.000from Milwaukee to Florida in November and in November sometimes in Florida it'll get all the way down to the 50s like in South Florida right so I go to school the first few days and kids have sweatshirts and jackets on and I'm in a t-shirt and shorts we just moved from Milwaukee where it's like three that day right so people look to me and they're like are you out of your fucking mind like what are you doing why are you doing this and I'm like This is the best day I've had in months.
00:36:50.000He's like, I'm trying to get in the fucking car, get to the hotel, I want to take a nap, play with my balls, stop fucking talking to people.
00:38:11.000If someone's really negative and not in that funny way, but in just a genuine, like, everything sucks, everyone's out to get me, that shit, you can't be around.
00:38:32.000I mean, everything from food to the restaurant to the people sitting next to the table to this to that to that to this.
00:38:41.000It's just like a constant deluge of just negativity.
00:38:45.000Whereas you could be around the same person, the same situation, and they just notice all the cool shit about things and, you know, have a different, balanced perspective, give a little energy to the conversation, be someone that's, you know, sensitive to how other people are perceiving you and what kind of vibe you're giving off.
00:39:01.000Have you ever been around the extreme opposite, though, where it's usually a girl that's just super positive and can never see any negativity?
00:40:18.000Like there was a smell of citrus and they got these mice and what they did was they zapped these mice's feet and every time they zapped their feet, they would Spray this citrus smell in the air.
00:40:31.000And so these mice would associate this citrus smell with getting zapped.
00:40:36.000So I think when you smell patchouli, that shit, you just think, annoying hippie, here we go.
00:42:00.000I remember I worked in a real estate office in Boston, like, right after college, and there were these guys, because Boston has, like, just nothing but apartments and nothing but rentals, all day.
00:42:10.000I thought you were going to say, nothing but BO. It does.
00:42:14.000Everyone has BO. There were these three guys, these guys would come in, and when they came in, everyone was like, whoa, as they walked in the door, like, what the fuck?
00:42:30.000But then, what happened was they needed to check out apartments, so whoever lost The bet in the office at the time would have to take them in their car, because you know they were going to be in your car, you have to get it detailed.
00:43:30.000Maybe pull each other's clothes or something like that.
00:43:33.000Because we were like 11. And when we went to the teacher's office, or the principal's office, we had to sit down and talk about it.
00:43:40.000The principal asked us both what had happened, and neither one of us was really mad, but when we decided, like, can you guys shake hands and be friends?
00:43:48.000He was, like, so eager to shake hands and be friends.
00:43:52.000I realized, like, oh, this poor fucking guy, man.
00:43:54.000He smells bad, and he's got a burnt ear, and he probably just didn't have any friends.
00:43:58.000Like, the reason why he was douchey...
00:44:00.000It was probably just he wanted some sort of attention.
00:44:33.000Like, you remember, like, how good something smelled somewhere, or something, you know, you smell it again, you're like, oh, that takes me back to exactly this point.
00:44:40.000You remember it, and then a smelly motherfucker.
00:44:43.000I can smell those dudes in Boston right now.
00:44:48.000For cats or pets, you stop smelling cats in litter boxes.
00:44:53.000I just put down my cat that I talked about last time I was on the show, and for my first time in 17 years, I get to have a house that has no litter box.
00:45:00.000And I don't even know what that's like.
00:46:35.000Well, you know, you got to think if you know someone that's really fucked up and they have a kid, that kid's going to grow up with a fucked up parent.
00:46:41.000Like if someone's like really crazy or, you know, if someone is a topless maid for a living, they don't think there's anything wrong with it.
00:46:47.000And then, you know, your daughter hits 18. She's like, mom, I want to join the topless maid business.
00:46:51.000You're like, hey, it's good enough for me.
00:46:54.000The mom was a little overweight, but she had humongous Mexican tits, and when she took her bra off, it had the most horrific stretch or marks from her bra, just digging into her.
00:47:08.000Did you talk to her when she took her tits out?
00:47:11.000No, I just sat there and they both just put it in a bucket.
00:50:34.000He gave a lot of different accounts to the police, to investigators, of what happened the last time he saw her, the last time he spoke to her.
00:50:41.000So all these kind of things that don't match up that make it sound pretty suspicious.
00:50:47.000So when the case didn't progress anymore, a few years later, his best friend at the time was a woman named Susan Berman, and she was set to talk to investigators when they reopened the case, this time in the,
00:51:03.000I would say, I think we're talking like into the 90s now?
00:51:07.000So, a lot of time had passed, and the investigators wanted to talk to Susan Berman, who had been Durst's best friend, and whom there was a long line, a track record of him giving her money over the years.
00:51:19.000And, you know, from his account, it's like, it's a good friend of mine, I just always gave her money, but she collected substantial money from him.
00:51:27.000Well, the day before an investigator was flying out from New York to see her, she was murdered in her house in Benedict Canyon.
00:51:36.000So it was kind of the second person involved or close to Robert Durst who died.
00:51:44.000Well, they found that in one of her journals, she kept track of loans or gifts people had given her money, and recently he had given her 50 grand.
00:51:57.000You know so and the way that they piece it together they think that over the years she's collected much more than that so it was she's you know was his friend who was always kind of struggling and he was always giving her money so you know from his from his side of the story I'm rich.
00:52:46.000So people who say it's not Durst related will say that it's related to a book she wrote where she kind of laid out a bunch of stuff about the mob and like her dad's role in things and all these people.
00:52:56.000So they say, you know, oh, it's very much in line with a mob hit.
00:53:03.000And then, a few years after that, well, right when they knew that they were going to reopen this investigation, he wanted to go into hiding.
00:53:16.000So he moved to Galveston, Texas, and he started living as a mute woman.
00:53:22.000So he wore a wig, and he wore a dress, and he started renting an apartment in cash.
00:53:27.000He paid like a year up front, and he knew he couldn't mask his voice, so he pretended to be a mute woman, so he would only write down things.
00:53:34.000And he eventually developed a friendship with the guy across the hallway from him named Morris Black, who was just like this old curmudgeon-y guy.
00:53:44.000Basically, fast forward, in the Galveston Bay, a fisherman finds a floating bag, and it has an arm, and then a leg, and then basically the police come, and they find chopped up body,
00:54:00.000and they find an ID, and they're able to get fingerprints, and it's Morris Black.
00:54:09.000So they go to his apartment and they see across the hall is this woman who's living there, who's not there at the time.
00:54:16.000And, you know, they find that, like, there's blood on the floor, kind of, you know, all the telltales of that, like, something happened here.
00:54:27.000And what ended up happening was that he was charged with murder, he posted bail, and then he went on the run, and he actually got caught shoplifting a sandwich after he had jumped bail,
00:54:43.000and in his car they found $38,000 in cash, and he had $500 in his pocket.
00:54:49.000Like, he just shoplifted for the, you know, they didn't want to pay for the sandwich.
00:54:54.000That's how he got caught after he jumped bail.
00:55:01.000He doesn't deny murdering the guy, says it was self-defense, but he also chopped the guy's body up, like cut off his arms, cut off his legs, cut off his head, put them in bags, threw them in the bay.
00:56:48.000It's a good movie that takes you through...
00:56:53.000The story pretty well and actually Durst liked the film so much That's why he agreed to do this series with this guy all good things all good things Yeah, he liked so much that he agreed to do and in that movie does he chop the guy up I can't remember if he does it in the in the Gosling movie,
00:58:58.000Everybody says now, you know, somebody with money can do what they want and get away.
00:59:01.000But back in the day, that is truly reality.
00:59:05.000If you're coming from a lot of money and you destroy something, if you ruin somebody's life, you kill somebody, they're like, well, you know, you have a lot of money.
00:59:13.000So, yeah, we're going to pay for this shit.
00:59:31.000He called his wife, because he's married now and remarried someone who was living in New York, and this is Galveston, Texas, and they're like, bail is set at $250,000, which is, you know, that's what you've got to pay.
01:01:14.000Any y'all in the jury have a grandma that you love dearly and you don't want some hooligan fucking her and some strange Galveston apartment?
01:01:23.000If you ain't a Jew, you must have quit.
01:01:45.000I need to hear what, like, what the hell could they- Episode four has all that stuff.
01:01:48.000What's great is when they read Not Guilty, they have the camera on him and he's like, keeps turning, he's like, not, they say not guilty, right?
01:04:25.000Footage from like four years ago when he was with Cat Williams and he did the exact same thing where he just went through a crowd of people in his SUV. They just put it on, it's on the front page of TMZ today.
01:04:38.000So did he hurt anybody during that one?
01:04:40.000Let me check it because I didn't actually watch the video yet.
01:05:51.000Like, imagine if John Gotti was alive and out there running around in Little Italy, mocking people the way he did back before they arrested him.
01:07:47.000But there's other things they do that's insane with super, super rich people, where they accuse them of a crime, they go in, they take their businesses, they take all their money, and they put them in jail.
01:07:56.000And they did this to this really rich, wealthy Russian oligarch, and they had them in jail for a long time, man.
01:08:02.000I think he was in jail for more than eight years, if I remember correctly.
01:08:05.000But I remember this story getting out.
01:08:08.000This is the most insane story I've ever heard in my life.
01:08:11.000This guy was some wealthy oil guy, was worth billions of US dollars, and they just came in and took this guy's business, put him in jail, And they've done it several times.
01:08:24.000They just go in there, whatever the dispute is, they just decide that you're an enemy of the state or you're treason, whatever crime they doctor up, slap your ass in jail, take all of your money, and they just leave you in jail for a long time.
01:09:01.000We don't comprehend that that feeling there must be to completely live in fear Yes, and it's not that the this is without a doubt.
01:09:10.000There's some organizations in this country They don't even have to name them that have done horrific shit to to US citizens They've done the people have been murdered things have happened for sure, right?
01:09:19.000Yeah, I'll agree that but it's nowhere near the scale it is right now Yeah in Russia like whatever corruption you might think there is an American I would agree with you.
01:09:27.000There's a lot of corruption and But nothing compared to what's going on in Russia.
01:12:01.000That's what Matt Damon had said about Sarah Palin that was hilarious.
01:12:05.000When he was talking about Sarah Palin and her witty charm, getting to—folksy charm, I think the term he used—getting to become vice president with a guy as old as—what the fuck is his name?
01:13:23.000Yeah, but do you wonder, like, I wonder what they think about the way their government works.
01:13:28.000I wonder if there's, like, is there a select group of people that all this money is getting evenly distributed to so that everybody, like, keeps their mouth shut?
01:13:35.000Or how many people are wanting to kill that guy?
01:13:37.000Are we going to have to deal with the guy who kills him someday?
01:14:43.000What is this, all of a sudden, especially, what is this new attention on gay people?
01:14:48.000I think it's because there's been a lot of progress with gay rights, especially in the last 10 years.
01:14:55.000So when something like that's coming more to the forefront, you go like, dude, this can't...
01:15:00.000The people that don't want it, the super homophobic people...
01:15:04.000Are going to act the way that they're acting.
01:15:06.000They're so scared that this is going to be the norm and that we're going to treat them like human beings maybe even here that they're like, no.
01:15:16.000So they start these organizations like a Better Family Today group.
01:15:23.000It's like, we can't let these people be teachers and just live in our apartment buildings.
01:16:09.000You have to empathize a lot with the person who is in that situation, who's not siding with that.
01:16:17.000But lives in that kind of culture where you're like, are you going to speak up like when you know what the response is going to be?
01:16:25.000You want to say yes, and you want to be like, yeah, of course, but it's a scary thing in an environment like that to speak up and be like, no, I'm going to say something.
01:16:36.000Wasn't that what Pussy Riot went to jail for as well?
01:16:39.000I think one of the things they went to jail for was protesting against the treatment of gays in Russia.
01:18:58.000I saw footage older, but still modern day, of Russian cops do not fuck around.
01:19:05.000And I mean, not for even just shit like this, standard crime stuff, like if you're actually going after a guy who's, whatever, selling drugs or something that they would normally send.
01:19:17.000These cops would jump over a picnic table and kick a guy in the jaw to bring him down.
01:21:09.000In this day and age, it's kind of hard to imagine, you know, but if he was just like, we're gonna take, I don't know, fucking, we're gonna...
01:21:18.000Yeah, if Russia's gonna be like, we're going into Chechnya, you're gonna fuck them up again, like they have, and take the Republic of Georgia and all that shit back.
01:21:25.000What if they say, we got a bad deal with Alaska, we want that shit back.
01:24:42.000And that entire administration's goals, like the entire thing that their number one goal a lot of times, is just to keep Other governments from getting one.
01:24:56.000That's the number one on the list for dozens of governments.
01:25:02.000It's like, just keep Iran from developing one.
01:28:51.000I remember being on this show a few years ago before, you know, he admitted and all that stuff, and talking badly about him and getting a lot of messages from people.
01:30:57.000But, I mean, there's been so many people that have been caught in the UFC over the past few months and other MMA organizations that It's pretty hard to deny that it's an issue.
01:31:06.000How much of an issue is it is the big question.
01:33:15.000You ask them one thing, and they'll give you their philosophy on, you know, their life philosophy, and you're like, yeah, I just, are we doing another set?
01:33:22.000Like, you just kind of like, you know what I mean?
01:33:24.000Like, some of them will download about their love life.
01:33:26.000Like, they have quirks, and him, it'll just be like in the middle of working out, and then he'll be like, uh, you can stop there.
01:33:32.000Or when I went in, I was like, I had a respiratory thing.
01:33:35.000And I go, hey, today, can we just do, like, heavy, but kind of not keep heart rate up really high so I'm not breathing, because my lungs are bothering me.
01:34:12.000Like, should we just go to the next thing then?
01:34:14.000See, the thing I've learned about people is that when you ask questions at those moments is when they'll really take it to the next level.
01:34:24.000So I'm very aware that by engaging that part of the conversation will lead to more of it.
01:34:32.000So what I do normally is when it comes up, I just all go like, I'll nod and be like, yeah.
01:34:37.000Alright, I'm going to do this next one, and I'll just move on.
01:34:40.000Because that's how that part of the conversation dies, and then it shifts to something else.
01:34:45.000Like, I was leaving on, I went on a little mini tour last week, and right before I left, I was with him, and we had just finished the work, and I was like, yeah, you know, I just hope I don't fall off too much on this week off.
01:34:59.000I was basically baiting for motivation and some type of game plan.
01:35:04.000Like, try to do cardio Thursday and maybe do this and that Friday, that kind of thing.
01:36:41.000Well, that's what religion is for a lot of folks.
01:36:45.000There's a lot of people that if you tell them that the Lord is watching over them, that everything's going to be amazing, they have now that covered.
01:38:09.000There was this girl in college that I thought was into me, but she was really just trying to get me to go to one of these Christian retreats.
01:38:53.000It was never, hey, come out to these parties, we're going to have a Christian get-together.
01:38:58.000It was just normal talk, and then one day...
01:39:01.000We were at a cafeteria during lunch and I came in and I sat down and I said, did you guys hear that there was a plane crash landed at the airport?
01:39:10.000And they're like, oh no, what happened?
01:40:26.000And she was like the little coyote that they would put out that's in heat and tricks dogs into going out into the woods and the other coyotes jump them and eat them.
01:40:51.000I sat next to a girl on a flight who had a book about St. Peter, and I was like, oh, we started talking about the book, and then we started talking about Christ, and I started asking her more questions, and she goes, yeah, you know, I just came to this kind of conclusion that it was difficult,
01:41:10.000but if you don't accept Christ, Christ, you know, you'll definitely go to hell.
01:41:15.000And I go, well, one of my first thoughts, if you were to say that, would be like, what about all the Jews and Muslims in the world?
01:42:06.000When you take it there, it's like, alright, let's be done with this.
01:42:09.000Have you ever seen that there's an ancient Italian painting?
01:42:12.000It's on the roof of some cathedral and it's all like the rooftop painting represents like heaven and all the way down to hell and the outskirts like the bottom layer represents hell and there's actual demons and people that are down there getting tortured by demons.
01:45:33.000Well, no, I'm saying like, as far as like a listener of our show, I don't think that they go, you're being super racist.
01:45:40.000I think that they, like to me, for doing the game and doing like a black voice.
01:45:45.000But it's not the listeners of your show that you have to worry about.
01:45:48.000It's people who find out about your show who are not listeners and then think it's cute to write a salon.com article about everything that's wrong with podcasting, your mom's house, racist, homophobic, you know, fart worshiping.
01:47:15.000But that black or Tom or Tom or black thing, that's one of those things where like, are we pretending that there aren't black people that talk like that?
01:47:22.000What are these videos that we're watching?
01:48:19.000I mean, nobody had really done that back then when he was doing it, you know?
01:48:22.000Yeah, I did a bit about the first 48, where I break down the show, and how there's some really aggressive black guys on that show yelling crazy shit, and I do an impression of it.
01:48:36.000Dude, the biggest response of positive, flipping out, holy shit reaction was always in crowds where there was a lot of black people.
01:48:47.000Yeah, because they're not offended by it.
01:48:59.000You know, everything else, you saw all this other material, you laughed at all this other, you saw all this other insight, and you think, oh, but it's all just a trick to get you to laugh at some racist shit, because I'm a racist.
01:49:09.000Yeah, and I think that black people who really flipped out and loved that bit were doing it because they were like, yeah, they've seen the first 48, and they know exactly what I'm highlighting.
01:51:05.000Like, anyone can mock a famous person, but the famous person mocks a regular person.
01:51:09.000Like, what if Kim Kardashian just went to some girl's Instagram page and started shitting on her and making YouTube videos about her feet and like, look how ugly you are, bitch.
01:52:18.000People that would never defend her in a million years would go crazy if she attacks Yeah, she's just like, Amanda 811, I'm going to make a special video just about you, you stupid bitch.
01:53:38.000If you come out of the gate, like me personally, even if I say something that you disagree with, If you just start insulting me like right off the bat, well, we're not communicating because I don't even know you.
01:54:34.000Just people being mean, talking shit about him.
01:54:37.000Well, somebody like that probably does, like, as a comedian, you're used to rejection more, especially with the way that social media developed, you know, like, YouTube and Netflix, there's a forum for people to go, like, you suck.
01:54:53.000So after a while, when you see those, they don't affect you as much.
01:54:59.000You build up a bit of a tolerance to it.
01:55:02.000But I bet somebody that comes on your show that maybe is accomplished and well-known, but maybe doesn't have a big social media presence, when they first get those, you're the fucking dumbest person ever, tweet or text, they're like, what the fuck?
01:55:14.000You know, the biggest one was, well, he was a pretty big, John is a big one, because first of all, John Wayne Park, although he's a multiple-time world Muay Thai champion, he's a really sweet guy.
01:55:50.000If you have 100,000 people view a tweet, which is very possible when you've got 1.5 million Twitter followers, 100,000 people looking at a tweet, man, you're going to get a few hundred complete fuckheads.
01:57:08.000But if you're just like, if I hate you, bitch, you stupid cunt, all that stuff is like...
01:57:12.000Well, it's just people that don't understand what's going on.
01:57:15.000And one day, all that shit is going to come out.
01:57:18.000Like, there's going to come a point in time where you're not going to be able to do that.
01:57:21.000It's not going to be as easy as just, like, attacking someone anonymously.
01:57:25.000You're going to be exposed for, like, the stuff that you write or who you are, what your presence is, you know?
01:57:32.000The weird thing is like kids today, they're also going to be responsible for things, you know, like maybe if a kid today is 21 and they got some crazy Instagram page and they're going fucking buck wild.
01:57:42.000And then one day they're 27, 28 and they have a respectable job and they've got their shit together and they've moved on with their life.
01:57:48.000But there's some fucking internet, man.
01:57:50.000These Instagram pictures are still out.
01:59:09.000And 14 other men, including rapper Tiny Do, were charged under an obscure California law, accusing them of conspiring with gang members who shot nine people in 2013 to early 2014. What the fuck?
02:01:17.000And our community is living in fear of the police because of these things.
02:01:20.000And because of these numerous stops of no crimes being committed, just mere stops of being in front of my grandmother's house, my parents' house, or just hanging out, the police are falsely documented as a gang member.
02:01:34.000And because I'm documented as a gang member through the San Diego Police Department, Now I'm liable or eligible of this Proposition 21, Penal Code 182.5.
02:01:47.000And right now I'm facing life in prison with no knowledge of these crimes being committed or anything.
02:01:55.000So I believe the problem is the profile.
02:02:00.000And when you're pulled over while driving, the police will say, well, why am I being pulled over?
02:02:33.000After the Michael Brown shooting and there was no indictment of police officer Darren Wilson, the Attorney General went down and said, we're going to investigate what happened.
02:02:55.000It's like 67% of the population is black, but...
02:03:00.000Arrests 88% of the time are black and the comparison to the white stats it's it's it's Statistically, it's one of the most damning reports you'll ever see does it take into account white people just being awesome it doesn't but I like Smiles it takes into how awesome our smiles are but then like But there's less contrast with our teeth,
02:03:34.000Its report detailed how Ferguson operated a vertically integrated system from street cop to court clerk to judge to city administrator to city council to raise revenue for the city budget through increased ticketing and fining.
02:03:47.000But, dude, the stats are the craziest.
02:03:51.000Like, all the fucking arrests, or black people were at such a disproportionate disadvantage as far as how often they were arrested when they were not doing anything and no contraband.
02:04:07.000Walking down the street, like that guy said, versus a white person.
02:05:08.000Whether it's some sort of grand conspiracy, which some people claim, or just some inescapable sort of momentous thing, where you got momentum on your side, or against you, rather.
02:05:20.000You know, momentum of your family, your neighborhood, the kids you grew up with, all these people involved in crime.
02:05:26.000That momentum is very, very difficult to break.
02:05:30.000It's very difficult to get a fresh start.
02:05:32.000So thinking that anyone who grows up in those environments should have to behave exactly the same way without any consideration for how they've been developed and grown up In comparison to a guy like Tommy Buns who had it light walking around in Florida with fucking shorts on.
02:06:06.000And 93% of Ferguson Police Department arrests from 2012 to 2014. 93?
02:06:13.000They probably have to occasionally arrest a white person just for a goof.
02:06:17.000Of African Americans, 2.07 times more likely to be searched during a vehicular stop, but are 26% less likely to have counterbind found on them.
02:06:56.000So Ferguson being a black majority town, if its blacks are pulled over at the same rate as blacks nationally, they'd account for 87.5% of traffic stops.
02:14:29.000I haven't seen it, so I'm excited to see whether I did that taping for this episode the day...
02:14:38.000I got back from Hong Kong for like the night so I am on like I fell asleep in the green room there sitting up and somebody was like hey man and I stood up and I started to like I was so jet-lagged crazy but I still had a blast it was you know those crowds are amazing yeah and his new special which is not as new special that's his last special airs this Friday night too that's What's that one called?
02:15:09.000You could still get his other special, which is fucking awesome, which is called Paid Regular, which you could get that one on Comedy Central Direct.
02:15:34.000I was going up that hill where Pink Dot is, and he has that billboard that's right of it.
02:15:39.000But, like, I was in traffic, and I'm just, like, looking up, and suddenly you see just Ari's eyes poke up from the hill when you're driving up that hill.
02:16:13.000I don't have any problem with him saying that, because it doesn't make any sense, and I feel like he's baiting people to talk about them.
02:16:19.000This was his genius play that people didn't know how he dominated radio, was that when he was introduced to a market, the first thing he did was shit on the number one local show.
02:18:41.000It's going to be real hard for someone to make a fictional movie that really resonates about war, other than like a Hurt Locker type movie.
02:19:05.000I mean, I thought there's a lot of layers to his performance, and you see somebody suffer from PTSD in the film as effectively as you could show it.
02:19:55.000Like, the way they portrayed everybody was ridiculous.
02:19:57.000Then there's the story, which is very different.
02:19:59.000The story that the guy wrote That was there, the guy who apparently was there on the raid who wrote, which differs from other people's versions of the event.
02:20:11.000I wonder how much of these guys, you know, because the Chris Kyle thing had come under fire from a lot of people because he apparently lied about a lot of shit in his book.
02:20:49.000Yeah, I mean, and like, you know, I've read the articles about things that he claimed, and I don't know if there's any- Oh, so it's a real woman?
02:21:20.000Because of that Foxcatcher movie, which was about this guy Mark Schultz who fought in the UFC and all sorts of bullshit in that movie.
02:21:29.000He made a Twitter post about it yesterday asking people if they were interested in him giving a detailed account of all the inaccuracies of the movie.
02:21:38.000He said, if people are interested in it, let me know and I'll do that.
02:21:40.000And so people started responding to him and I retweeted it because I want to know.
02:22:08.000Every movie that's based on a real story, there's added characters, added moments to dramatize, added stuff to pique your interest and make the story more interesting.
02:22:21.000They should almost, at the end of films, put up a slate that just shows you everything.
02:22:27.000Like, here are the scenes that we completely made up.
02:22:42.000There's a whole, uh, I'm looking at several articles about the factual errors or the things that is made up about Zero Dark Thirty.
02:22:52.000Apparently, I mean, and obviously this guy's not going to come clean about what's accurate or not, but, um, He was a CIA director at the time.
02:22:58.000He's played by Gandolfini in Zero Dark Thirty.
02:23:06.000But he said that, because I think Gandolfini curses in the movie as him, when he's playing the part of this guy, and he goes, that's the only accurate part of that movie.
02:26:41.000Because, like, all the shit that you have to deal with if you're creating a script and it has to get passed by all these producers and executives, none of that exists, but yet all this success exists.
02:29:40.000What's just started happening now, and I knew this was going to happen, and it's finally happening, is that they are now finally, clubs are going, there's no more radio.
02:29:51.000They're saying, you go, so we're doing press tomorrow morning, and they're like, we don't do that anymore.
02:29:56.000And it'll be like, it's not that like, oh, you're completely sold out, we don't need to do any press.
02:30:00.000They're just like, it's a waste of time.
02:30:02.000They finally realized, I'm not saying all radio is a waste of time, but they realize in certain markets, with certain shows, they're like, we're not going to pay anymore for things, there's no point in bringing you there, it doesn't turn into anything, you don't have to do it.
02:30:16.000Well, there was one radio station where I did way back in the day when I used to have to do those morning shows where they talked about how they had a deal with this radio station where they would buy ads.
02:30:26.000And because they would buy ads, the DJs would, it was like a bribe to get the comics to come in and do the morning show.
02:30:33.000So the comics would come in and do the morning show, tell them when they were there, and they would buy ads for the radio show during the day.