Comedian Dean Del Rey joins Joe and Sarah to talk about growing up in the 60s and 70s in the San Francisco Bay Area, his love of rock and roll, and how he got into stand-up comedy. Joe also talks about how he became a standup comic, and why he thinks it s a good idea to have kids perform on Comedy Central's This Is Not Happening. And Sarah talks about what it s like growing up next to a rock band in the late 70s and early 80s and how she got her start in standup comedy and eventually became one of the funniest people in the whole wide world. You won t want to miss this one! This episode was brought to you by SeatGeek and Grounding Grounding. The opinions stated here are our own, not those of our companies. We do not own any of the music used in this podcast. All credit given to artists and labels given to us by their respective record labels. This podcast was produced and edited by our patrons. Thank you for all the support and support. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and tell a friend about this podcast and/or share it on your social media! and we'll make sure to make sure the next week's episode is as good as possible. Thanks to our sponsor, Stikker! We'll be looking out for you in the next episode of This Is NOT Happening! next week! Logo by Courtney DeKorte . Music by Jeff Perla on SoundCloud and all future episodes will be coming soon! . . . and by is a tribute to the late great John Belushi in the new album "Sonic by The Strangeways by the band "Goodbye Outer Space" by Fountains of Formless Records by SONGS by Pizzi (feat. and I'm Too Effing Goodbye by my good ol' Joe , and I'll see you next Tuesday! by Joe on the road! ( ) Thank You, Joe & Sarah on this is Notorious Thanks for listening, Joe, Thank You for Listening, Sarah & I'll See You Soon, My Love, Gotta Get Out of This, My Dear Friend
00:00:41.000And if you've ever seen This Is Not Happening, it's stand-ups telling crazy stories about either things that have happened to them on the road or during life or what have you.
00:00:51.000It's just a slightly different form of stand-up.
00:00:54.000So season two is about to begin, and Ari would like you to just tweet at anybody that you would think would be, don't harass anybody, don't Twitter bomb people.
00:01:43.000A lot of people did suggest it, and I watched you on the Dom Herrera podcast because of it, which is fucking hilarious.
00:01:50.000If you've never seen Dom Herrera live from the Laugh Factory, first of all, Dom's a great guy, hilarious comic, but it's a fun podcast, and you were really funny on that fucking show.
00:05:48.000There's dice, and then there's mean dice, and mean dice will start picking on people in the audience and fucking just lay into dudes for like 10, 15 minutes.
00:08:54.000When I started thinking of doing comedy, all the guys I loved were in their 40s.
00:08:59.000You know, it's like you, CK, Tom Papa, I was watching a lot, Burr, and I had, I was really naive thinking like, oh, it's not an age thing, like rock, you know?
00:09:12.000Right, whereas a rock star, there's only a few guys that get to that Mick Jagger level where you can do whatever the fuck you want.
00:09:19.000And they're looked at as like, you know, old rockers or whatever, but comedians aren't looked at as old comics.
00:09:34.000Well, there's something about your insight when you get into your 40s that is probably missing when you're in your 30s.
00:09:40.000You can be really funny when you're in your 30s, but it's very rare that you find someone in their 30s that has the insight of a Louis C.K. The point of view, the unique perspective of a Burr.
00:09:53.000It takes a lot of living to become that guy.
00:10:42.000You've got, like, what they call pre-nodes, which is like calluses on your vocal cords, like Adele God or Steven Tyler or Paul Stanley, and you've got to go in and get them lasered off.
00:10:53.000You won't be able to sing for six months.
00:11:21.000What I did was, he told me two things.
00:11:23.000Quit drinking, don't talk all day, and don't talk after gigs.
00:11:27.000And I just chilled for like three weeks.
00:11:30.000And a lot of Ricolas, throat coat tea.
00:11:34.000And the number one thing I did wrong, which people don't know, was when you clear your throat, it's the worst thing you can do when you go...
00:13:33.000That seems like one of the weirdest eras of Hollywood, because it seems like a rock and roll era that nobody really saw coming, like a late 80s.
00:13:40.000I mean, outside of them, and there's quite a few big bands from back then, but not necessarily big bands from L.A. They were so much better than everybody else.
00:13:50.000You had them and Jane's Addiction, really.
00:13:53.000Those were the two, and they played gigs together and stuff.
00:13:56.000When you think about the two styles, they're totally different, but both the recipes are the same.
00:14:04.000And whenever you have something really fucking dangerous, it's going to hit with kids, because you're coming out of that Reagan era, and everything's kind of shitty.
00:21:33.000Like, if you just lit a joint, like, I was just, I didn't, I had no idea what the fuck, what the fuck hash was back then.
00:21:40.000And look at all the tools and all this shit.
00:21:42.000Oh yeah, they carry a full briefcase with him of all these, like, like, Ari and I were in Sacramento at the punchline and this guy goes, come out to the car, he opened his trunk and he had like a dab center.
00:22:13.000These guys waiting in line to get their brains obliterated.
00:22:17.000I think I told you this, Joe, that I recently was in San Francisco, and there was one of these places across the street from the comedy club, and me, Tiffany, Haddish, and Tony went across the street to check out this dab place, and there was like half of the people were homeless,
00:22:33.000that were just sitting there spending their money.
00:22:34.000That's like San Francisco anywhere, though.
00:22:36.000Yeah, but it was like being in a crack house.
00:22:39.000And it looked like people were doing crack, and people were passed out like it was a crack house.
00:22:44.000But it's not the same thing, because crack is like an elevated thing.
00:23:52.000If you had thought that with some of these dab guys, with some of these people that have these crazy contraptions, like these ridiculous vaporizers, somewhere along the line, someone must have fucking hit the wall.
00:25:39.000Like, and it had, you know all those things that people do for vitamins where they have Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and it's all labeled on top?
00:29:39.000So you did it for all those years, you did music, and then what made you decide to do an open mic night?
00:29:47.000Well, what happened was I stopped playing music basically because once the downloading came in, the illegal downloading, there's just no money for a mid-level musician anymore.
00:29:59.000When I played music, you could play music for years and just be touring like the jam bands, like Grateful Dead, Blues Traveler, Black Crows, that kind of thing, and make some money selling CDs and shirts.
00:30:13.000But once people just grabbed the CDs, it was out.
00:30:17.000We'd come home, we'd be like, we got 400 bucks, we've been out three months.
00:30:23.000That's cool for me, but when you've got band members with wives, they're like, hey, you've been gone for three months, you have no money.
00:32:18.000And they're lying and they just, they roll out and you go, that guy has no idea.
00:32:22.000He's on two wheels and he's going onto Van Nuys Boulevard right now.
00:32:26.000You get that one of the most brutal streets.
00:32:29.000Dude, I've been watching so many, ever since I got rear-ended the other day, I've been watching so many people texting in their fucking car.
00:32:39.000Everybody thinks they can pull it off, and you see people doing this as they're driving, looking down, looking up, looking down, looking up, like, fuck.
00:32:46.000The amount of time you cover while you're looking down, going straight forward before you look up again, you're talking about sometimes 20, 30 feet.
00:34:56.000And it's a girl with her hair really short, and she's sitting there like that, and she takes off in front of me, and then brakes checks me.
00:39:09.000Yeah, if two people are just sitting at a dinner table drinking wine, and it's a bottle, and you finish the bottle off, you're both hammered.
00:39:20.000Friday and Saturday night, you know, go to a comedy show, any comedy show, and those people sit there, order two, three, four drinks, and then they get out of there and they drive.
00:42:05.000According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration, approximately 10,000 people are killed by drunk drivers annually in the U.S. Look at this.
00:42:13.000The long arm of the law is handcuffing this young man and taking him to the slammer.
00:42:19.000Research is developing two detecting methods for the driver alcohol detection system.
00:42:24.000One method allows the car to analyze a driver's exhaled breath for alcohol content.
00:43:38.000Or if you do, you can't really argue about it.
00:43:41.000I used to do these open mics, Joe, and this girl had the breathalyzer on her car, and she would pay guys to go out and breathe in her ride so she could drive home because she would be drunk.
00:43:53.000So it looks like this is 98. In March of 98, President Clinton called for the promotion of a national legal limit under which it would be illegal, per se, to operate a motor vehicle with a blood alcohol concentration of.08 or higher across the country, including federal property.
00:44:46.000And the fact that she's a woman that's also a Clinton, and it's a Clinton versus a Bush.
00:44:51.000People are fucking totally tired of this dynasty thing that's been going on for the past...
00:44:55.000X amount of decades, where they're just going back and forth, Bush to Bush to Bush.
00:45:00.000I mean, the idea of a Jeb Bush being president after his brother fucked everything up, and then his dad fucked everything up before that, and if that's not our option, then the Clinton option, and it's Hillary, and Hillary, she's tied to a bunch of shady fucking things.
00:45:38.000You literally can't get to the highest level where you're running for president unless you've been completely compromised by special interest groups.
00:45:47.000Those campaign contributions are critical.
00:45:49.000And you have to sit down with those fucking corporation owners and the CEOs, and they figure out what the fuck is going to go down, like how laws are going to be structured, what influence is going to get them if this person gets into office.
00:46:22.000When they talk about the amount of time that a guy actually spends campaigning and trying to raise money, as opposed to how much time they spend on actual work, it's astounding.
00:46:35.000A campaign is all about raising money.
00:46:38.000Their whole thing is about raising money and occasionally giving speeches.
00:47:18.000Like, say, if you're a guy like a Ross Perot-type guy that might fuck things up for them.
00:47:22.000They didn't anticipate that when Ross Perot came around.
00:47:25.000And he spent a shitload of his own money to try to run for president and ruined all their plans.
00:47:30.000So right away afterwards, they monkeyed with the numbers and changed things.
00:47:34.000It made it even more difficult for an independent person To debate in the presidential elections.
00:47:39.000So to the average American, there's only two choices.
00:47:42.000You see those two assholes on television.
00:47:45.000You have your Republican debates, and you have your Democratic debates, and then when it breaks down to those two guys, those are the only two people running for president, as far as you know.
01:03:15.000Is the 1965, and while we're on this video, before we change, this is the 1965 of 2015. I mean, this car, when it went all said and done, and people look back in, like, the golden era of muscle cars, they came back in a big way.
01:03:30.000Like, the new Mustangs, have you seen the new Shelby, the 2015?
01:05:59.000I've never driven a stick in LA. Of course it's not as fun in bumper-to-bumper traffic, but bumper-to-bumper traffic sucks no matter what you do.
01:06:05.000If you're only going to have one car that you drive around and you want total convenience, yes, automatic.
01:07:18.000It's just like, no one's going to buy these and they all sell.
01:07:21.000And then the other problem is if one of them catches on fire, it goes right through all the houses because these fucking assholes are glued next to each other.
01:09:28.000When I lived in San Francisco, I lived there from age 7 to 11. I experienced the tiniest little baby earthquake where the windows rattled and I freaked out because I was a little kid.
01:09:44.000My stepdad, when I was a kid, was a computer programmer, and then he wanted to be an architect.
01:09:49.000So we moved from New Jersey to California and lived in San Francisco for those five years.
01:09:56.000And when I was here, I was always scared of it, but that one little one, it was just a little baby one, just enough to rattle the windows.
01:10:04.000And I remember like, whoa, just this feeling of helplessness and weirdness.
01:10:08.000And then I didn't experience an actual one, and even that was a baby one, until 94, I was here after the big earthquake, and I experienced some aftershocks.
01:10:18.000I was in this shitty apartment in North Hollywood, and I remember the feeling that, you know those refrigerator boxes, like someone would buy a refrigerator, and then the kids would play in the box?
01:10:27.000But you know how the box, like, it would just move, like, really weakly, you could push it back and forth?
01:11:44.000Yeah, because it was like, it was a one-man genius, basically heard all these sounds in his fucking head and made this record, Pet Sounds, a Beach Boys record.
01:11:53.000After they're like, oh, we're surfing, surfing, they get into this, like, dark, crazy record.
01:12:05.000Yeah, and the other guys were out on tour, and he was like, you guys go out on tour, and I'll just make a record, and when you come back, you'll sing on it.
01:12:13.000And he just made this fucking, like, legendary record of layered sounds and instruments, and it's really insane.
01:16:26.000They also voted against one of the doctors that I've been to for recommendations for prescriptions.
01:16:35.000He told me that, like, he's like, quite honestly, I know doctors that are voting against legalization because they want to keep it medical, because you've got to keep going to the doctor every year and pay a fee in order to get your license renewed.
01:19:09.000I had some friends from Canada, from Alberta, and they had never been to California before, and they didn't know that you were allowed to cut lanes.
01:20:03.000This fucking guy isn't even surrounded by anything.
01:20:07.000They just did a study for two years straight and found out splitting lanes is safer than sitting in traffic because the texters are crashing into dudes.
01:21:43.000So, I've done all my spots on motorcycles.
01:21:46.000So, I go to San Diego, and I'm doing the weekend, and it's Saturday night.
01:21:51.000I usually leave Saturday night after the three-day weekend and ride home, but it was raining, so I go, I'll just sleep and wake up the next day.
01:22:16.000And I just go, because it's one of those things where you're broke, so you go, well, do I spend money on a Motel 6 here on the side of the highway, or just try to make it?
01:22:30.000It took me about three hours, and it was funny, right when I got to Disneyland, it totally stopped raining, and by the time I was home, I was completely dry.
01:22:46.000But it seems like that drive in the rain is probably really fucking hard to see, right?
01:22:50.000It's hard to see and it's super nerve-wracking because the trucks are spraying, big spray.
01:22:56.000It's the trucks, the 18-wheelers that are on the 5. They're spraying big time and you're like, whoa!
01:23:01.000Fuck so you're just trying to go like far out to the left from them it's yeah boy and the potential wiping out must be really fucking Keeping your your senses on the edge, huh?
01:23:13.000I'll tell you one time I had to I had to do this gig in Bakersfield Like two years in and I was like I can't cancel they won't ever book me again and I wrote up the five the grapevine I got to the top it was snowing and Oh no.
01:24:18.000He also told me something I didn't know about when people flick cigarettes out there, that it actually sometimes gets in the motorcycles like...
01:26:39.000Like, I had a friend who, he has a lot of guns, and he got pulled over in Arizona, and he had to tell the cop that he has guns in the trunk, and the cop's like, wow, what are you shooting?
01:26:49.000And he started having a fucking cool gun conversation.
01:26:52.000Let me check real quick, make sure everything's in order.
01:33:22.000You know what I like about her, though, is I did some movies and stuff, and she didn't go like, oh, you must be getting famous, I'm getting back.
01:38:17.000Yeah, and they were doing it with a company out of Denver, you remember?
01:38:20.000And the company out of Denver wanted to do something with me, and we talked about it, but I was like, wait a minute, what exactly are you doing?
01:43:04.000And so you go, well, I'll be right back.
01:43:05.000You know, he could be right back quicker.
01:43:06.000Then if there's like all a bunch of dudes sitting around, circled with the chairs, the same height and in the same style, then it'd be a little weirder.
01:43:45.000I mean, just that, what she had to put up with when she decided to do her own show after Carson, and he just bans her, she could have easily just been buried, you know?
01:44:21.000It's people, whenever they're working and listening or working out or commuting or whatever.
01:44:26.000Well, because of DVRs and also with these...
01:44:29.000One of the things that Letterman kind of...
01:44:30.000One of the reasons why he decided to step back was...
01:44:33.000What shows had become mostly is like the show would get a certain amount of views, but what really would get a lot of views would be the clips from the show that would go online.
01:44:44.000And then people would be able to access those whenever they wanted.
01:44:55.000And he just realized that the whole genre was kind of passing his style by.
01:45:00.000Yeah, like Maren was on last week and they made the clip that Maren stops masturbating because of drought, because he masturbates in the shower.
01:45:29.000That was on Conan, and that became like this huge viral sensation, which was way bigger a hit than the actual episode itself, which, you know...
01:45:38.000Not that many people watch Conan anymore.
01:47:13.000First 50 are free or whatever, and then you buy the backlogs.
01:47:16.000But I feel like you fuck yourself when you do that.
01:47:20.000I feel like what the real connection is is the fact that it's all free.
01:47:24.000That's the easiest you can get it, whether it's through Stitcher or through YouTube or through Ustream or Vimeo or whatever the fuck it is.
01:47:32.000You just got to be able to get it as easily as possible.
01:47:35.000And then if people like it, it just spreads.
01:47:37.000You know, so the growth we're experiencing because of just word of mouth.
01:47:42.000We're up 2 million downloads from last month.
01:48:58.000They're like, man, did you hear this show?
01:49:00.000I think one of the best things about comedy podcasts is unlike what happened with Johnny Carson and Joan Rivers, podcasters all support other podcasters.
01:49:21.000They all fucked each other because of that.
01:49:22.000And because they were fighting over these time slots, and everyone had this famine theory going on, where if you weren't number one, you were below number one.
01:49:31.000And you were losing if you were in second place.
01:49:34.000You made less money, and everyone's panicking.
01:49:36.000So they had these politics that were playing back and forth like that.
01:50:42.000If you get a hold of a fucking series and you find out about it, and you find out about it like after five seasons already done, I didn't find out about Game of Thrones until I think the second season.
01:51:40.000The idea of tuning in, I guess maybe new shows, with that exception.
01:51:45.000Because at the end of the day, you do want to find out what the fuck is going on in the world.
01:51:49.000But even those shows, man, they're getting trounced by, like, the Young Turks and all these, like, online shows that can do whatever they want.
01:52:04.000Yeah, and just to think, when Periscope does catch on more, it's going to be news, Twitter, but video.
01:52:10.000So, like, if something's happening in Washington, we could just turn to that exact street and go, there's four people on Periscope right there.
01:52:16.000We got four different camera views in that street right now.
01:52:20.000And that's what it's going to be like.
01:52:21.000Well, Ustream did a lot of that during the Ferguson riots.
01:52:24.000There's a lot of streaming services that do that during Baltimore.
01:52:38.000They were just this miscellaneous person in Germany, just watching them hang out.
01:52:43.000How about those Twitch things that we were watching, the Twitch channel, which is all these people playing video games, and then you look at it down and go, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on.
01:52:51.000That guy's got 10,000 people watching him play a video game?
01:53:41.000I read it online about two weeks ago, and he said that if you, as an artist, have 1,000 true fans, you could survive doing art, whatever form of art you do, forever.
01:53:53.000Because he said the 1,000 people, would you think, oh, that sounds pretty easy.
01:54:16.000The long tail is famously good news for two classes of people, a few lucky aggregators, such as Amazon and Netflix, and six billion consumers.
01:54:27.000What he said, though, basically, is if you have 1,000 fans that each spend about $100 a year on you, meaning they bought a DVD, you know, or they bought a ticket, a couple tickets, or they watched your special, 100 a year,
01:54:43.000you got about 100,000 after everything, maybe 50, 60, you could survive awesome on that every year.
01:55:05.000I call them my friends because if they're into the stuff I'm into, We would be friends.
01:55:11.000Yeah, if you're doing good shit and people like your good shit and they keep supporting it and you have a commitment with them, it's kind of cool because it's like you have customers.
01:55:18.000It's like say if you were like a guy who made great shoes or something like that, handmade shoes.
01:55:23.000You got a bunch of customers that swear by the Dean Del Rey shoe.
01:55:26.000You know, and they buy them whenever they can and it's like if you're doing good work and they appreciate good work, If you really can nail it and just lock in.
01:55:53.000Is it mostly about rock and roll or is it about all kinds of shit?
01:55:55.000It's all kinds of shit, but I really, I have a lot of rock and rollers on and people that I loved in life that have, you know, that influenced me, you know?
01:57:27.000There's never been a time where you could do that.
01:57:30.000There's never been a time where you could have your own fucking radio show that's available instantly.
01:57:33.000If I drive home right now, I can go into iTunes, I go into the podcast app, rather, on my iPhone, and I just write Dean Del Rey, and it'll show me, let there be talk, boom, and I'll just start streaming it.
01:57:45.000I'll put my foot down, I mean, put my seat, my phone down on the seat at a red light.
01:57:50.000During that red light, I picked up your podcast and I'm listening to it now.
01:58:24.000Everyone knows him way more than you do.
01:58:25.000When we were out on the road, he was working his ass off.
01:58:28.000He had the shows booked, he had the hotels booked, he had the rental car, he had the flights, and we were cruising around, and I was like, this is a self-made machine here, the desk quad.
01:58:38.000You have to figure out a way to do your own thing in this day and age, because if you do bring other people in, especially in the beginning, you're going to have to give them a cut of almost nothing.
01:58:49.000So as you're hustling and you're trying to put together these shows, if you're giving a manager 15% of that and an agent 10%, 25% is gone, then you have to pay taxes.
01:58:59.000You know what sucks is when you're on the road with somebody that does have a manager and then they still get your 10%?
01:59:05.000I don't want to say who, but I got checks because I was on the road and their manager took 10% out of my cut.
02:00:12.000As a manager, a manager is a long-term commitment.
02:00:16.000I've had the same manager since I was an open-miker and most comedians try to keep a manager for a long time and the agent is someone who works with you guys but is not as close as the manager.
02:00:26.000The manager is supposed to be the person that's like looking over your career in an advisory position and like no one's advising you.
02:00:34.000That guy's not advising Go on Periscope now.
02:02:44.000He worked on Cat Von D on that TV show a couple years, but he has his own place out in Grass Valley, and this guy is next level for portraits.
02:04:03.000And so for, you know, whatever minutes when he gets up and smokes his first joint of the day, he brings people on this ride with him and they call it the morning joint.
02:04:10.000So he's going to get, you could get a sponsor for your tattoo.
02:06:17.000That's such a good idea for a show, too.
02:06:19.000You don't understand how happy it makes all the door guys and stuff that work there, because they pretty much used to have two nights of open mic, and then they took it away.
02:06:28.000And so now this is way better for the people that work there, because that was the only reason why these guys work there, which is just to get spots.
02:06:35.000So the doorman went up, Jeff Ross did some time, and I closed it out.
02:06:39.000I did a half an hour and closed it out.
02:08:49.000He had a real low spot where he is partying hard and canceling gigs all the time.
02:08:54.000So he cleaned up, and the manager said, we're book a tour, but if you cancel one show, all the shows will be gone.
02:09:02.000So the first night of the tour, he's backstage eating on the deli tray after soundcheck, and about a couple hours later, he gets mad food poisoning.
02:11:58.000They didn't get along, they broke up, and they got back together again when they realized how much money was involved?
02:12:02.000Yeah, I remember they did the Hell, they said, we'll get back together when Hell freezes over, and then in 96, I think it was, it was called the Hell freezes over tour.
02:12:10.000I was glad, because I never got to see them, and they opened, I saw them at the shoreline in the Bay Area, and they opened with Hotel California.
02:12:17.000I go, can you even fuck, are you opening with Hotel California, man?
02:12:22.000You know you're in for a great concert.
02:13:56.000That show it was crazy amazing, but we were talking about it We're like is this has there ever been a better time for stand-up than right now?
02:14:03.000And we were all like just not there's no better I don't think there's ever been a better time with like more like big-name Headliners and more young guys coming up like the store I've been around the store I took a seven-year break, but I started there in 94. I never saw a crop of hungry,
02:15:53.000People were screaming, laughing, screaming.
02:15:55.000And the great thing, though, is that he has a guy like you who shouts it out.
02:16:01.000That's not like, well, this is my world.
02:16:03.000You know, like the old world where people would be like, this is all me, and I'm not letting anybody else in.
02:16:08.000Yeah, well, there's always a group of people back then where they had to be, everybody had to be the best.
02:16:14.000There was like one guy who had to be the guy, whether it was Dice, whether it was Kinison, there was always one guy that was the best, and he thought of as the best.
02:16:22.000And then he would have guys around him, but those guys always sucked.
02:18:25.000There were so many, like, leftovers that should have made it from the 80s, but didn't, and they fell apart, and they were still doing the same material.
02:18:32.000You know how you get a few of those guys?
02:18:34.000Occasionally, you'll see one of those guys today that still has the same act for 20, like, you'll be at the Ha Ha or Giggles or something like that.
02:19:30.000I can't think of one guy who was with me back then, who was in my state, You know, I was already headlining on the road, and I had a television show, but realistically, I learned how to do stand-up at the store.
02:20:43.000You know what the problem with Periscope is, though?
02:20:45.000That people that are outside of it are not going to get it, and they're going to get angry, like at the whites-only table, and all the racism, and the black wave.
02:21:06.000And Kill Tony, too, is a big part of that, too.
02:21:08.000You guys doing that podcast out of there and getting all these young people, getting this one-minute shot, and it made Kim, and it made Sarah.
02:21:17.000Those girls came out of that, and now they've got careers.
02:21:22.000Well, that's a good support group, you know, when you have a podcast and other people in America are listening.
02:21:27.000They go, man, I think I could try that, you know?
02:21:29.000Yeah, well I get these tweets all the time from people, like they'll see the show that we'll put together on the Ice House or something like that, and they'll be like, fuck, I live in the wrong place!
02:21:38.000This is crazy that you guys have these shows there on a regular basis!
02:23:20.000To escape and you got to be really careful about that because You're doing something that's gonna eventually give you an illness and you know most likely one of those incurable ones like lung cancer and if that happens dude You'll be thinking like Johnny Carson was like Johnny Carson before he died Would just walk around the house with an oxygen mask and go those fucking cigarettes.
02:23:41.000Yeah, and that's all he would say those goddamn cigarettes those fucking cigarettes I quit him, man.
02:28:17.000No, like, if you eat shitloads of, like, salt in your body, or too much, like, I've had too much sugar and my fucking foot starts tingling.
02:31:33.000You went over to her house and there was a guy just sitting on the couch?
02:31:36.000Yeah, she's invited me back to her house with this girl.
02:31:38.000I'm hanging out with these two girls, periscoping, and then I'm like, wait a second, there's a 65-year-old man creepily watching me in the corner.
02:32:25.000Could you imagine if you get to that point where you're so desperado as a sugar daddy that you tell girls, look, I don't even care if you bring guys back.
02:34:58.000He would treat them like shit and he got off on the fact that he was this gross old guy and he would get these hot young girls and he would do mean stuff to them.
02:35:08.000So I went to look at the house, and I remember looking around, and I was thinking, wow, this house is, like, really expensive, and it's right there on the street.
02:35:15.000And then I remember thinking, like, this guy's, like, been bringing these hookers back to this place.
02:35:20.000So it's like, a lot of people are probably going to think that this guy is, you know, an asshole, and they're going to rob him or something.
02:35:26.000Like, what if I buy it, and they go looking for wild man?
02:35:53.000It was funny because I brought that up and the guy was selling the house, the real estate guy goes, don't worry, there's a state-of-the-art security system, cameras everywhere.
02:36:01.000And I go, you know what those cameras are going to show?
02:36:03.000They're going to show a dude in a ski mask shooting somebody.
02:36:08.000When I said that to the guy, the guy was like, you know, the salesman, like you trying to sell motorcycles, he's trying to sell this fucking badass Hollywood Hills house.
02:38:02.000Yeah, it would stay in the house, man.
02:38:04.000There's some creepy shit in the Hollywood Hills that has gone down over the last hundred years, and it's just kind of like, there's ghosts up there, man.
02:38:12.000Well, if you didn't know that the guy was an asshole, that'd be one thing.
02:38:16.000And you took it over, and you're like, I'll turn it into my house.
02:38:18.000I'll have a nice party with my friends over.
02:39:12.000I was there during the day when Ralphie lived across the hall from Doug Stanhope, who lived right down the street from Joey, and Joey was staying with Gavin.
02:40:07.000Yeah, me and a couple of comics were actually thinking about, they're building condos across the street eventually, they're tearing down that House of Blues, just all chipping in.
02:40:20.000And so they're building condos there, so me and a few comics were like, we should just rent, all chip in, like $300 a month or whatever, and rent a place we could always just crash there if we want to.
02:44:06.000Some people just always look for some sort of an excuse to not have to contribute.
02:44:11.000And when you're dealing with starving, struggling artists, it's the same sort of mentality that makes people flick cigarettes out the window.
02:44:17.000It's not thinking about anybody but themselves.
02:45:34.000Daniel Cormier, the UFC light heavyweight champ, he has one, and he said it costs like, you know, 30 bucks to fill up, and it lasts a month.
02:45:42.000Yeah, I went to San Fran with another comic in it, and we put like $26 in it, and we were there.
02:46:35.000You know, the Porsche took the hit pretty good because it's designed German engineering and has a crash beam in the back that absorbs the impact, but I didn't get hit that hard either, you know?
02:46:45.000I mean, you think about all these fucking idiots out there, like...
02:46:48.000I told you about Van Owen Street and these caved-in cars from assholes that are just texting or sleeping or whatever the fuck they're doing.
02:46:55.000That's the problem with driving is the other people.
02:48:19.000You know, he loses his job, he's got broke legs now, and he loses his house and everything from this fucking dick that's like, I gotta get to my job, fuck you.
02:48:27.000Well, that wasn't what he was doing on purpose.
02:52:47.000Radio Lab that I'm listening to right now, where it talks about people that were going to kill somebody, that almost were going to kill somebody.
02:52:55.000How prevalent it is, this woman was talking about this ex-boyfriend that she had that was blackmailing her and said, if you have another boyfriend, I'm going to fucking tell them and I'm going to send them sex tapes that we made together and was saying that I'm going to haunt you for the rest of your life.
02:53:10.000So she invited the guy over to her house and she was cooking dinner for him and she was going to stab him.
02:53:54.000Apparently, according to her, vicious asshole.
02:53:57.000If you're a woman, man, the shit that you have to deal with, it's not that much different than, I mean, in a lot of ways, that kind of bullying, that kind of physical, frightening shit.
02:54:08.000It's a lot like someone in a car hitting someone on a bike.
02:55:26.000The 18th, we're doing the cinema, and it's going to be a theater show, and it's a live podcast, and both of us are going to do a full comedy show.
02:55:35.000And where can they find out about that?
02:55:37.000Go to deathsquad.tv, click on tour dates.