Comedian Jim Florentine talks about living in a mold infested apartment with his then-partner, Jim Norton, and how they managed to stay alive in the face of the black mold infestation that plagued their New York apartment for a year and a half. Jim also talks about how he and Norton managed to survive the Black Mould infestation, and what it was like to live in a three-bedroom apartment in the late 90s and early 00s in New York City. And how they were able to make it through it all, even though they were barely making enough to pay the rent to live on. Jim also explains how he was able to get his first job as a stand-up comedian and how he managed to get a car and get a driver's license in spite of living on the road in the 70s and 80s. And he talks about the time he almost died from black mold in his bathroom. Oh yeah, and he also gives us the inside scoop on how he made it through the Black Mold infestation at his apartment and survived it. You won't want to miss this one. It's a good one! Thanks to our sponsor, Vaynermedia! We're working on transcribing this one so we can make more episodes like this in the future. We'll be posting them on Anchor.fm and other places where you can listen to us on the airwaves. Subscribe to stay up to date with us on social media and get notified when we upload a new episode. We're listening to the newest episode! Subscribe and sharing it so you can be a part of the podcast! Thank you for listening and sharing the podCastlecast and we'll be spreading the word! Love Ghost of God? Love ya, God bless, Blessings, Cheers, Kristy, Jen, Brian, J.J. & the Crew, EJ & The Crew, P.A. xx - EJ and the Crew at The Crew at VYNNE. XOXO XO, J-OJ & the Jerks at The Vagrant Media. - Tom Likas - The Crew @ VYNXNXOZYNNXO - J.E. & The Good Life at The GoodLife - & the Good Life Podcast - The Good Fight Podcast - John Rocha
00:01:21.000Tom Likas had to evacuate his whole house.
00:01:24.000Tom Likas, they had to tear his walls down.
00:01:26.000They have to, like, I guess they treat the mold to kill it.
00:01:30.000They've got to tear all your walls down, and they've got to do these, like, tests of the air to make sure there's not spores that are flying around the air.
00:02:47.000The lower your bills are, like for comics, it's like the whole thing in the beginning is you've got to get through the spot where you don't make any money, figure out how to do it, and then start making money.
00:03:00.000Like, it's so important to fucking save as much money as possible.
00:03:04.000Yeah, we were living like an hour south of the city in Jersey, me and Norton, and we figured we needed to get close because we were going in there like four or five nights a week trying to get in the clubs.
00:07:19.000If somebody told me that Greg Fitzsimmons started eating blue cheese out of girls' asses, I'd be like, whoa, what the fuck happened to Greg?
00:07:30.000But when I heard it was Bob Levy, it was totally acceptable.
00:07:33.000If you know him, something like that's completely acceptable.
00:07:37.000Like, oh yeah, that's probably what he does.
00:07:39.000The first time he did it, this gig got canceled.
00:07:42.000We were just hanging out at Holiday Inn in the room where the comedy was supposed to be, and some girl was there, and we were drinking with her, and somehow we got her to go, hey, we mustered up like $37 if he can eat blue cheese out of your ass, because we're eating wings.
00:07:55.000And Bob said, I want to eat this blue cheese out of your ass.
00:18:29.000But I mean, it brings up an interesting conversation about making fun of things and what you should and shouldn't be able to make fun of because of that Charlie Hebdo thing that happened.
00:19:37.000I mean, like, if there's a guy in a movie that sucks, like, you don't like him as an actor, you might say, oh, I want to kill that fucking guy.
00:21:29.000This is just talking about the devastation.
00:21:33.000There's like a whole graphic before the video that shows what these wild pigs do in Texas, because they are absolutely devastating to the farms down there.
00:22:24.000The problem is if it's your farm, like, fuck, man, like, what is a farm, then?
00:22:29.000You know, if they become a threat to people, that's one thing, but it is really weird that you could just, just because they cost money, like, they're chewing up people's food, but they're animals, you know, like, that's what they kind of do.
00:23:01.000Put them to sleep and rock them to bed or something, like make it a religious thing where we bless these pigs instead of shooting them with a machine gun out of a helicopter.
00:23:16.000I mean look at cats and dogs like we we put cats and dogs to sleep or we try to you know do something for them but like like animals that we need to get over that were overpopulated with you know we shouldn't be really allowed to just like I don't know torture or you know shoot with a machine gun out of a helicopter I think they're just doing it because it's one of the only ways it's effective I think on the ground you can't get to them Doing it from a helicopter is like one of the best ways to do it because they're too smart.
00:23:42.000If you're on the ground and you try to get near them, they run away.
00:24:59.000But they are domesticated, so it means their experiences, none of their experience has been devastating.
00:25:03.000They haven't seen their mother getting killed by a wild mountain lion or something like that.
00:25:08.000They haven't seen their brother getting eaten by a bear.
00:25:10.000You know, they're not living in the wild, just running away from shit all the time like a wild pig is.
00:25:16.000They're constantly fed and taken care of.
00:25:18.000So they have, like, it's sort of like people.
00:25:21.000People, if you leave people in a wild state, even to this day, there's places in the world where people live a far scarier life than we could ever imagine.
00:25:31.000Every day you're dealing with violence and chaos and danger.
00:25:36.000Those people, they're going to be a wilder style of human being than we are.
00:25:42.000And I think that's what's going on with these pigs.
00:25:44.000It's kind of fucked that you can eat something that also, if the circumstances were better, could be your buddy.
00:26:22.000It's almost like you could take a shitload of pigs and put it in some kind of, like, spinning, like, windmill-type things, and then we can make them Make energy for us instead or something like that.
00:26:31.000Right, like give them food and a giant hamster wheel and as they go and chase after the food.
00:27:17.000You know, they say that's one of the best, like that movie Snatch, that they'd say that really is one of the best ways to get rid of a body.
00:27:23.000Some guy who was a pig farmer in, I think it was British Columbia, who was also a serial killer, and he would throw the bodies into the pig's thigh, and the pigs would just destroy them.
00:29:35.000When she was identifying as white, she had freckles and blonde hair, and then all of a sudden she's got that orange-tan thing going on, and like legit black woman, permy-looking hair.
00:30:50.000Apparently, out of the founding people, there was 14 founding people of the NAACP, 10 of them were white.
00:30:57.000There was a lot of white people involved in the NAACP. And maybe this is good about what happens here.
00:31:03.000I mean, not that this lady's crazy and she's pretending to be black, but maybe it's good that the conversation gets brought up and people realize that, like, A racial equality movement doesn't have to be all black people and wasn't all black people.
00:31:16.000And they're like, her race doesn't have anything to do with how good she is.
00:31:21.000They're like, she's really good at her job.
00:32:28.000She masqueraded as a black, as black, once sued Howard University for denying her teaching posts and a scholarship because she was a white woman.
00:33:10.000Imagine, but let's put yourself in her shoes.
00:33:12.000I'm not saying that transracial is real, okay?
00:33:15.000I'm not saying you should be able to just identify with a different race, but if you could, she would be a really good argument for it, right?
00:33:32.000She was teaching African Studies, and she was running the fucking NAACP! I mean, if anybody could be transracial, that lady was kicking ass at it.
00:34:50.000They still make you stand and spray it?
00:34:51.000To make it realistic, that's the best way.
00:34:54.000I mean, you have the rub-on kind and stuff like that, but you can't usually get it even enough unless you really just spent all day doing it.
00:35:00.000How weird are we, not we, because I haven't done it, I don't think you're doing it, that people are going and getting fucking spray tanned.
00:35:31.000I just know from girls that you're like, oh, I have to have a photo shoot tomorrow, so I have to get spray tanned because I can't tan all day today.
00:37:51.000Sentenced to barber Thursday to 10 years in prison for inexplicably slashing a customer's throat during a haircut and shave before peddling away on his bike.
00:38:01.000U.S. Navy Petty Officer Timothy Vaughn, 33, was at Vicks Barbershop in Imperial Beach just south of San Diego for a haircut in October when barber Daniel Roberto Flores calmly slashed a straight razor across Vaughn's throat twice.
00:39:57.000I want to talk to him about it, because he wrote a really good thing for the Huffington Post the other day about the system, about the penal system.
00:40:04.000Understanding it once you get inside of it and see how fucked up and nightmarish it is.
00:43:47.000I tried to get a TV, but he wasn't going for it.
00:43:51.000See, a lot of these guys that rock it like this, the reason why they have to is because of prostitution laws.
00:43:56.000If prostitution was legal, there's a lot of these older creepazoid dudes that are just out there trying to make it happen.
00:44:05.000It's just tough action, you know, unless you're paying for it.
00:44:08.000Very tough to get someone to love you for who you are, like if you have these really high standards and you're gross.
00:44:15.000But if you've got a ton of cash and prostitution's legal, If they just made prostitution legal in America, you'd have exactly the same amount of hoes.
00:47:18.000No, I have a Death Squad one that had, like, I used to have one, but the Death Squad Studio one, which was like, oh, I need this mic stand and stuff like that.
00:50:48.000I mean, as long as it makes sense, like size-wise, like you couldn't 3D print a table this big in the machines that most people are going to have in their houses.
00:50:56.000But I really believe that there's going to be a time in our lives where people are going to be making most of the stuff that they are going to download instructions and have a fucking printer in their house that prints it.
00:51:07.000Just like it prints an image, they're going to be able to do that with actual three-dimensional things, like with high certainty.
00:51:16.000Did you see that new printer where it's like a liquid-based printer where it prints different?
00:51:21.000It's a different kind of 3D printer technology that they just made where it actually comes from the bottom, and they use like an air, so it pulls the item out of a liquid.
00:51:33.000Yeah, there's a few different methods they use, different ways of heating the little particles, those little pellets that they use to fill.
00:51:40.000It's a bunch of different methods of doing it.
00:51:42.000But apparently they're saying that, like, what we're seeing is the infancy.
00:51:44.000This is like the Model Ts of these fucking things.
00:52:17.000Well, they're gonna have that with this 3D shit.
00:52:19.000They're gonna have 3D objects, and you're gonna just need the raw materials.
00:52:23.000You're gonna have like a jug of aluminum and, you know, a big fucking thing of all the different minerals that you're gonna need to create these things.
00:52:30.000And then the computer is gonna figure out where to put everything.
00:53:15.000I mean, just imagine how fuckin' bizarre, once people can actually manipulate life and create, like, their own versions of animals and shit, which is gonna be chaos.
00:53:25.000Yeah, you just choose the perfect puppy.
00:53:27.000Like, I want a Shih Tzu, but I want to have that black on the back and a white in the front, and it just prints it out, and it comes to life immediately.
00:53:34.000And if some asshole uses it wrong, can you imagine if you're hanging out in your house and the next door neighbor's house explodes with baboons.
00:53:41.000These baboons are running out of his house.
00:53:44.000Like this fucking asshole in his printer.
00:54:09.000But the horse was the way you got around.
00:54:12.000The idea that you could fly a plane, like if you could go back to the 1200s and tell them about air travel, how easy it is to get to Paris, how easy it is, like in a day, you could be in China.
00:54:23.000They'd be like, what the fuck are you even talking about, man?
00:54:26.000But yeah, you're getting a tube and it flies through the air.
00:54:30.000That's what it's going to be like for us.
00:54:32.000A thousand years from now, what they're going to be able to do with bodies and with electronics and what they're going to be able to do with technology, it's going to make...
00:55:23.000So just think about all the different medications that scientists have come up with, all the different treatments for diseases that medical biology is constantly evolving and getting better at, figuring out a way to detect things early, and this would be a safer time to be,
00:55:39.000like, a person who needs medical assistance now than ever before, ever, in human history, by far!
00:55:45.000There's not even a remote comparison, right?
00:55:48.000Well, if that keeps going, Where's it going?
00:56:34.000Like, what they're gonna be able to do a thousand years from now is outside of the realm of anyone's imagination.
00:56:40.000The history that we study today, when you study Alexander the Great, when you study Genghis Khan, if you had to go back in time that far...
00:56:49.000The way they lived, you would still kind of understand it.
00:56:55.000We understand that they rode around on horseback, they got their water from the river, they had to hunt for their food, they had no refrigeration, there's constant war and struggle.
00:57:27.000If you have today, like, people, you're allowed to go, I mean, and you should be, you're allowed to go to any one of those body modification places and they put fucking plates in your forehead and stretch your ears out and cut your lips off or whatever nutty shit you want to do.
01:03:55.000If she gets a hold of you with that super pussy, she's gonna lock onto you and you're gonna have to use 50-60 pounds of force just to get away from her.
01:07:37.000I have no endurance on my dick-squeezed muscle.
01:07:41.000I wonder if you practice it, would it really get to a point where you could be like the male equivalent to that lady that carries bricks in her pussy?
01:08:03.000Don't tense the muscles in your buttocks, leg, or abdomen, and don't hold your breath.
01:08:08.000When you can slow or stop the flow of urine, you've successfully located these muscles.
01:08:13.000Okay, so don't tense the muscles in your buttocks, legs, or abdomen, and don't hold your breath.
01:08:18.000Okay, so you have to figure out how to stop the pee from the middle.
01:08:24.000Instead of squeezing your butt, like if you had to stop peeing in the middle of peeing, you would clamp your butt shut, you would squeeze down your dick, and you would try to stop the stream.
01:08:32.000What they're saying is, don't tense the muscles in your butt, your legs, or your abdomen, and don't hold your breath.
01:08:39.000That you could actually just develop a squeeze that could stop pee from coming out without moving anything else but your dick muscles.
01:08:48.000I can't believe we're talking about this.
01:08:49.000Can you flick your dick up and hit your belly?
01:08:51.000Like when it's hard, can you like flick it?
01:10:10.000First of all, I don't believe that at all, because I believe that if you did start it and you got close to your mouth, you would keep flipping it into your face until you caught it in your mouth.
01:10:18.000Are you just disagreeing with me so I'll show you?
01:11:36.000That cigarette monkey seems like, to me, out of all the things that I've seen people kick, cigarettes seems to be the toughest.
01:11:43.000That's not the toughest, the consequences of going back on it, because if you see a guy, he's got a heroin problem, and he kicks it, and then he goes back on heroin, he's all fucked up, his life's a mess.
01:11:52.000But if you see a guy who kicks cigarettes and comes back, he's just smoking a cigarette, you know?
01:11:56.000He's like, ah, I quit for a little while, I couldn't fuck, but he's still right there talking to you, you know what I'm saying?
01:12:01.000It's not like someone who quits something, something like meth or something fucking crazy that ruins your life.
01:12:58.000He's just sitting there smoking a cigarette.
01:13:00.000But he had enough willpower to not go buy a pack and not keep going.
01:13:05.000But, um, that seems to be, like, as hard a kick as anything.
01:13:09.000Because it seems to be, like, when people are, like, the heroin thing, and, like, people have, like, severe pill problems, like, they look at those pill problems like, fuck, I hope those things don't get me again.
01:13:21.000You know, if they get off of them, they look at them like, fuck, like, that's, these fucking pills, man.
01:13:25.000People don't look at cigarettes that way.
01:13:26.000They look at it, it's a much more casual thing, because it kills you so slowly.
01:13:30.000Cigarettes though has killed coffee for me.
01:13:33.000Like right now this coffee is horrible and I used to love coffee.
01:13:36.000I don't even want to drink this coffee now.
01:14:09.000Yeah, but it's still, like, if you're smoking cigarettes, how do you know exactly what things taste like if it numbs your taste buds?
01:14:15.000I don't know how accurate that really is because I've quit before for like a year and I've never noticed anything with the taste or the smells as at least that drastic of something.
01:16:05.000They have, like, a list that's on the internet that shows you, like, you know, from, like, day two and three of quitting, this happens, and then a week, and I think it's...
01:16:13.000Maybe three months if that list goes to like and after the third month you'll have 98% less of a heart attack chance and really and you're going to grow better fingernails I forget what the list said, but it was involving taste and smells.
01:16:28.000Are you really gonna stick with it this time?
01:16:36.000Being at the Comedy Store has been really rough because that place, for some reason, you can still smoke on the patio and everywhere, almost.
01:18:36.000People that work in, like, fucking plants and factories, like, especially back before they knew what killed you and what didn't kill you, like, yeah, a lot of people got a fucking real bad deal.
01:18:45.000Like, they found out about that asbestos because a bunch of dudes got cancer from asbestos, you know, from working on it.
01:18:51.000They used to have that asbestos, uh, remember that shit?
01:19:07.000From all that shit, just dumping shit in the garbage and destroying and ripping off walls and stuff like that.
01:19:13.000Well, you know, Donna Summer died from lung cancer, I'm pretty sure, and she died because she lived near where the towers fell.
01:19:20.000A lot of people that lived where the towers fell, including a lot of the firemen, a lot of the people that rescued people, EMT officers, all the people that worked in that area, there's a lot of people that got sick.
01:19:34.000And Donna Summer apparently lived, she had an apartment that was pretty close to that area, and just the shit that was in the air...
01:19:40.000I mean, you can only imagine a giant fucking building.
01:19:43.000That's, what was it, 100 stories or something like that?
01:21:00.000I think they capitalized on an event, and I think that's why it looks like they set it up.
01:21:05.000I think that's one of the reasons why people have so much of a vested interest in trying to prove some sort of a conspiracy with the government in 9-11.
01:21:14.000It's because there's so much profit that was made off those wars, especially the war to Iraq.
01:21:19.000Forget about what happened at 9-11 and who caused that, but it's the reaction.
01:21:55.000They're totally different countries, totally unrelated.
01:21:59.000And that's the most fucked up thing about it, is what they definitely did.
01:22:04.000Like, the idea that it was planned, that it was like, they flew through, that's like so complicated.
01:22:09.000Like, I don't know if they really are even capable of doing that.
01:22:12.000I don't know if there's a group in the highest levels of government that's capable of hiring so many people to keep their mouths shut, so many people to engineer this thing, where you're gonna fly planes in the buildings, you're gonna...
01:22:31.000How do you make sure that nobody keeps their mouths shut?
01:22:33.000How do you make sure that no bad motherfucker on the plane doesn't chuck Norris these fucking terrorist dudes in the head and take over the plane?
01:22:39.000How do you stop all that from happening?
01:22:42.000It seems to me that a lot of fucking people would have to be involved.
01:22:46.000And one person's going to talk, absolutely.
01:23:26.000First of all, what about the possibility that they used shitty engineering and terrible fucking concrete and the unions were involved and they fucking half-assed that giant building and it fell apart when a plane hit it?
01:23:39.000That seems like the more likely scenario.
01:24:39.000So if you slow something down and you're showing these windows exploding because the top is collapsing on the building and you're saying that's evidence of bombs, No, it's not.
01:25:10.000It's more likely that that fucking building's falling apart.
01:25:13.000Supposedly, when they built it, they had it where it was going to come straight down if there was ever, I don't know, a hurricane or something like that or an earthquake.
01:25:19.000Yeah, that's what I remember seeing a documentary on the trade centers getting built in case they didn't want to just fall over and wipe out six streets.
01:25:44.000I would like to see that documentary, because could you imagine if that plane slamming into the building caused that design to kick into effect, and that's why it collapsed?
01:25:54.000Either way, man, that's the only time in our lives and in the history of the continental United States that it's been attacked.
01:26:02.000You know, that's one of the most fucked up things about us in comparison to the rest of the world.
01:26:08.000Everybody's been attacked a fucking million times!
01:26:11.000I mean, just look at all the shit that's happened in Mexico.
01:26:59.000I sent it to Dan Carlin, who's this guy who has this podcast called Hardcore History, and he's got this insane series on World War I and how fucked up World War I was, and this is a part of that.
01:27:10.000All these munitions and all this bomb shit.
01:27:13.000It's an area the size of Paris, and you can't even go near it.
01:27:46.000This is all the shit they're finding there.
01:27:48.000They have these animals that live there, and they did tests on the animals, like the wild hogs, and they were filled with toxins.
01:27:56.000All these horrible fucking chemicals from these explosives, and what did explode, and what leaked into the soil, and they used gas, and I mean, this is a nutty fucking time.
01:28:07.000Look at all the fucking bombs they found.
01:28:16.000This Dan Carlin thing, if you don't know anything about World War I, I didn't know shit about World War I. This Dan Carlin piece that he's got right now, it's amazing.
01:28:27.000If you've never listened to Hardcore History, it's the best podcast on history.
01:28:47.000These people were fighting in trenches and shooting at each other from over the hills.
01:28:55.000What's really crazy is they, these people in World War I in particular, they were still wearing like the brightly colored outfits that people wore in the 1800s.
01:29:03.000They were wearing like their grandfather's fucking battle outfits.
01:29:08.000They had outfits that were essentially like targets, like white gloves and white hats and they didn't have any helmets and they were walking.
01:29:17.000Just walk in and fucking shoot at people and then people would shoot back and they'd dig a hole and cry and scream and that's how they did war.
01:29:54.000And when the thing went off, you still had to have your mouth open or it'll blow out your eardrums.
01:30:00.000So they're packing their nose, they're packing their ears, they're plugging up everything, and you still have to have your mouth open when it goes off 300 yards away from you, because the reverberation, the sound is so powerful that it literally will blow your eardrums open.
01:30:17.000And so they were shooting these fucking Volkswagen bus-sized bullets at the people on the other side.
01:30:24.000I forget who they were shooting them at.
01:30:26.000I forget which country it was they first used it on.
01:30:28.000But they would just obliterate with one bullet.
01:31:20.000Some guy went nutty and shot at the cops?
01:31:22.000Yeah, he got a armored car or van off of, it looks like eBay.
01:31:26.000Somebody found the auction listing, and it was just completely armored, and he was just shooting and stuff.
01:31:31.000But one crazy thing is, Jamie, if you look at my Twitter, I posted this video of a guy named Scoota underscore Juice Man.
01:31:41.000He was filming on the street when this was happening the guy and the armored car was just shooting at cops hitting cop cars and stuff like that and he had Planted all these pipe bombs throughout the city.
01:33:30.000It's all guns and bullets and This dude is like he's all armored Essentially and so he's shooting at these cops And, you know, the cops are fucked.
01:33:42.000They're hiding, they're waiting for backup, but it was really scary because these guys are kind of idiots.
01:33:47.000And it makes you think, like, if someone who really knew what the fuck they were doing, like some real tactical guy, some SEALs or something like that, they went nutty and decided to do this, you wouldn't need a large group.
01:33:58.000In order to shut entire city down my friend Justin talks about this all the time because he knows like a lot of people in special ops and all those He's kind of a he would call himself on a firearms enthusiast.
01:34:08.000I call him a gun nut He's definitely a gun nut, but if you had a bunch of dudes that were like really Really good at killing people like this, and you just brought in 20 of them.
01:35:18.000I forget what happened, but I remember the cops let him bleed out, and people were saying that it was cruel, that the cops didn't call the ambulances and have this guy taken care of, and risked their own lives to do so, to get this guy to...
01:37:27.000I heard it was enjoyable, but I wanted to say, you were talking about the Twin Towers.
01:37:30.000Before the Jurassic World movie, because it's in 3D IMAX, they showed the trailer for this new movie with Joseph Gordon-Levitt about this French tightrope walker that went between the Twin Towers and the 70s, and they recreated 1974 Manhattan.
01:40:13.000But because he is a hundred stories up, you know that he's fighting every single instinct, every natural instinct the body has to get the fuck away from danger.
01:41:08.000Like, if you got really good, can you get good enough to a point where you could walk on one of those things with 100% certainty that you're not going to fall?
01:41:30.000I'd try to stay calm, but if there's no wind and I knew that the road was as wide as this table, I'm 100% confident that I'd be able to suck it up and make it to the other side.
01:41:38.000When I got to the other side, I'd probably be like, what the fuck?
01:43:14.000Another guy's doing a handstand, or maybe they were using two hands, and they were holding, and the guy was doing a handstand on the other guy's hands.
01:44:55.000Waffle cakes funnel cake funnel cakes elephant ear funnel cake yeah There's a there's a there's a Zepa something a fucking Italian name for it Bambolino or something like that that's not it that it starts with a Z but anyway the point being this fried dough these stands and these and then they'd have these Ridiculous carousels like what kind of an asshole do you have to be to get on that and risk your life on this fucking contraption that's put together by these guys and You know,
01:45:24.000what kind of regulations do they have for carnivals back then?
01:45:26.000Yeah, there's not an inspector coming in every day when they're setting it up to make sure it's safe in the little town that they're in.
01:45:32.000It's just such a weird, like, common thing.
01:45:39.000But to have that kind of a show go travel from town to town, set up, put up tents, put on little weird shows, try to get everybody's money, and then get the fuck out of Dodge.
01:45:54.000Yeah, because every move you make, for two more dollars, you could sit two rows up, another dollar over here, ride the camel, and my son rode the camel for seven bucks a piece.
01:50:42.000Well, there's always going to be people like this.
01:50:43.000Whenever there's billions of dollars out there, look at that.
01:50:45.000The guy's on a Mercedes, an AMG Mercedes, and he's standing on the roof, which is an asshole thing to do, and he's feeding his lion, who's on the hood of the car.
01:50:54.000And his friend's at the driver's seat.
01:50:55.000And his friend is like, you've got to be fucking kidding me, man!
01:50:58.000This is going to be the best YouTube video!
01:51:52.000What is, you know, how's a guy like that live in this world?
01:51:58.000It's just, I love that if you're gonna have people that are flashy in any way, you're always gonna have that one person that takes flashiness to the most fucked up place.
01:52:05.000So like whenever you have a house that's like the most, the hugest, like what was the one that we were looking at the other day that was in Bel Air that was 50?
01:52:12.000That was after the show was over, right?
01:52:46.000Yeah, when we were, I was in Abu Dhabi for the UFC and a bunch of the guys went to Dubai just to see what it was like and go get some food and shit.
01:52:55.000And they said that they walked into a bar, they had no idea, and it was literally all Russian hookers.
01:53:47.000I've had friends who bring them back to the hotel, like, oh yeah, you know, I got two mansions that live here, live here, you know, and then bang them and then try to get rid of them.
01:54:22.000She was an executive at, I think, Endemol, like one of those production companies.
01:54:28.000And there was another lady, or another guy rather, that got arrested for having some prescription medication that's illegal there, but not illegal in the UK, where he lived.
01:54:38.000And so he had some prescription medication that he travels with, that he has to take.
01:54:42.000And his doctor prescribes it, and they fucking locked him right in jail.
01:54:45.000They took his medication away from him and threw him in a box.
01:54:49.000Yeah, there was a rapper, too, going over, because they do a lot of concerts over there.
01:54:51.000A rapper had some, I think he had some marijuana on him, just a little.
02:00:57.000Yeah, he was just doing some crazy ass-eating stuff, and Mike is like, that's it.
02:01:03.000Because that was also back before, like, there was, the shows would be packed, but half the people would know me from, like, maybe Fear Factor, and he had a bunch of regulars that would go there every Sunday, no matter what, every weekend, no matter what.
02:01:16.000He's got a bunch of, like, regulars, and he always has these squeaky clean shows.
02:01:21.000So they would come to see me, and they'd have no idea what the fuck was about to hit them.
02:01:25.000And Joey would get on stage, and a bunch of them barely made it through.
02:02:57.000Like, I was watching CSI the other day, and they had some bodies that they were, like, picking bullets out of or some shit, and I was like, whoa!
02:03:05.000Like, I can't believe this is regular TV! Like, really fucking gory!
02:03:10.000They show it to you, like, really quick.
02:03:11.000You know, like, they don't show you, like, long, focused shots, but it's enough that you're like, whoa!
02:03:17.000I can't believe this is regular TV! Do you think the Fear Factor episode with the cum would be able to be passed nowadays?
02:04:15.000Yeah, man, that was a show, that was one of the rare times in life where someone got fired because someone drank cum on TV. Because that was what happened.
02:04:25.000We all got fired because someone drank cum on TV. And I was happy.
02:04:56.000It was enough that I was like, whoa, you guys are taking some fucking chances here.
02:05:00.000There was always a certain amount of chance in Fear Factor, but they were taking some chances that I was like, what happens if this goes wrong?
02:05:07.000One of them was, you were attached to a bungee cord that was attached to a helicopter.
02:05:13.000And you had to, your partner had to unlock you.
02:05:17.000So there's like a chain full of keys and then there's a lock.
02:05:20.000And so you have to find the right lock.
02:05:22.000So it's you and you're competing with someone else.
02:05:55.000Like, you know, the stunt guys, they don't even get paid, and they would have to recreate this fucking thing.
02:06:00.000And a lot of times they would recreate it with PAs.
02:06:03.000They would get a PA to do the stunt, and they would pay them like a hundred bucks, and then they would attach them to this fucking thing and launch them into space.
02:11:35.000Like, his mind was getting very dark from all of the coming up with the different stunts for these people, like, figuring out different ways to get people to fucking pull, like, bison hearts out of a swimming pool filled with blood.
02:11:48.000Like, they kept coming up with more and more fucked up things.
02:11:50.000And I was like, this has got to be bad for your brain.
02:15:17.000We should just hang out at Applebee's.
02:15:19.000They got weekends off, you know, they work 9 to 5, and you're working weekends, you never get to see them.
02:15:24.000That's when they want to hang with their friends and go to, like, fucking Applebee's or some shit.
02:15:27.000The other thing is that, as a comic, your hours are so fucked and your lifestyle is so crazy that unless the girl is living some sort of a crazy life of her own, she's not going to understand...
02:16:01.000You might be able to take weeks off here and there, but essentially you're working several days a week, every week, and you're doing it at night, and you've got to write, and you've got to work on new shit, and you've got to constantly be in that zone, and you've got to go to the clubs.
02:17:36.000That's why I think Camgirls is the way of the future, because when you're out at the comedy club, they could be squirting at home, you know, and then you just have like a...
02:17:43.000You're still committed to that squirting thing.
02:18:10.000I know, but it's the same base thing that even when we had what's-his-face in here the other day, he even goes, no, I get what you're saying.
02:19:47.000And I think most guys have had that experience when you're with a girl and you're like, holy shit, you were really wet this time, and you look down and there's a huge wet spot.
02:20:22.000It was different than I've never said that.
02:20:23.000Well, the court would please bring up the last podcast where squirting was discussed and Brian angrily, yet again, defended the art of squirting.
02:20:35.000I've always said the exact same thing.
02:27:45.000Yeah, I just, it had a nice ring to it.
02:27:47.000Dude, I forgot to talk to you about this one dude, I'll ask you off the air, but your friend who lives in Florida, some crazy friend, I was listening to your radio show.
02:32:24.000And if you go to Florida Man on the Twitter feed, it's all news stories about a guy from Florida doing something retarded.
02:32:31.000It's a different part of the world, man.
02:32:34.000It's a completely different part of the world.
02:32:35.000So if you're a guy who looks like a bloated Tony Danza Bloated Tony Danza.
02:32:39.000You're just cleaning up on the girls who've made these terrible mistakes in the decades past, and now they're just kind of like settled in.
02:32:46.000Settled in, settled in their ways, but still get horny.
02:32:48.000In my 20s, I moved down there because I wanted to get laid.
02:32:56.000I lived there for two years, and I made a couple friends, and then a couple years later, I went down there just to visit them, and I banged like three chicks in a week.
02:33:02.000I'm like, I didn't even have three under my belt my whole life.
02:33:14.000Because that's a big part of what Florida is, like people from the East Coast that just move down there.
02:33:18.000Yeah, because you always get them in that wild phase for a couple years, where they just go, I want to get away from my family, I just want to go have fun, and I want to try it down here.
02:33:26.000So you get those girls in that phase, and then eventually they move back to wherever they are, usually.
02:33:31.000And a lot of like, you know, it's a weird state because there's a lot of white trash and there's hot chicks in Miami and there's rednecks all over.
02:33:40.000Yeah, it's a weird state too because for the longest time it was how immigrants got into the country from Cuba and how they brought drugs in through Miami.
02:35:41.000I wanted more like a theater feel for it.
02:35:43.000Yeah, I started doing my last one I did in a comedy club and I think I'm gonna do them in a comedy club from now on I think that doing them in a theater you just don't you lose something and a large large stage Yeah, and I feel like people at home you're watching you're in a living room You know it's an intimate spot like you I think you could relate more to someone on stage in front of like a couple hundred people than you know,
02:36:05.000maybe a thousand I think the model was to get it sold to a Netflix or a Showtime and HBO. They wanted it to look big.
02:36:12.000But now you can do it all on your own.
02:36:30.000Just one clear shot of what you're doing.
02:36:33.000Just like watching it in a comedy club.
02:36:36.000Because I think that all this like cutting it from the side and all this fancy shit they're doing with editing It doesn't exist when you go to see a comedy show and when you go to see a comedy show Like it's the funniest thing you'll ever see in your life is a comic on stage killing in a comedy club You're in the back of the room and you're just watching and laughing and you're just looking right at it There's no crazy angles.
02:37:44.000Like, the one camera they have that catches the entire stage that you're on, like, the camera can follow you, they can move it a little bit if you go left or right, and that's all you need.
02:38:11.000And just, you know, you don't have to rent out the biggest theater somewhere.
02:38:15.000The Wiltern or whatever, you know, where it's going to cost a ton of money and hire a real big crew and all that stuff and have seven different cameras.
02:38:23.000Everything's getting cheaper and cheaper.
02:38:24.000Yeah, Hinchcliffe did his entire show.
02:38:26.000He did it with one shot, one camera, follows him into the club, follows him on stage, pans of him on stage.
02:38:33.000The whole thing was shot with one camera.
02:38:35.000Joe, remember when I used to go on the road with you and I would have two cameras on the sides, one camera in the middle, and then I would just have a camera that would walk around and do zoom-ins.
02:38:44.000And that right there, it was a whole special, a comedy special.
02:40:00.000If you're watching a guy on stage at Madison Square Garden, you know, you can enjoy it, but you don't really, I don't think you ever really feel like you're there.
02:40:08.000I think that Kevin Hart's going to do, he's doing, financial field is what Eagles play, a stadium.
02:41:48.000He was, I guess, right before Dane, and then when Dane came, he kind of took the torch from him.
02:41:55.000And then Russell Peters, you've got to think of Russell Peters, too.
02:41:59.000Yeah, Russell Peters, he kills it outside the country, but I don't think there's a place in America where he could do it that's like 50,000 people.
02:42:04.000No, he's done Barclay Center in Brooklyn.
02:42:09.000I don't know if he does two or three nights, but he's selling a lot of tickets.
02:42:13.000He did two shows at The Garden in one night.
02:42:16.000The Garden is such a crazy place for stand-up because you think about the Garden, you think about like great heavyweight title fights and shit like that.
02:42:31.000Drives in, probably drives a motorcycle that crazy fuck, drives down to the Garden, gets on stage, kills it, has all these, all the old women that your friend fucks in Florida, they all fly up for that.
02:42:56.000Before he quit, he did some large places.
02:42:58.000But he hit that point, we've talked about this a bunch of times on the podcast, where he hit that point where he didn't know what was funny anymore because people laughed at anything he did.
02:43:08.000You get out there, they were just so happy to see him.
02:43:10.000Patton Oswalt has a fucking hilarious bit about, remember I told you about that casino I did north of Seattle and I got there was like the most drunk audience I've ever performed for in my fucking life.
02:43:22.000I've never had more people heckle like at a big casino when they're spending a lot of money.
02:45:15.000Go an hour outside of Seattle, and you've got that place where that Enum Claw, where that guy got fucked to death by the horse.
02:45:21.000Well, they used to have no laws on whether or not people can have sex with animals, so people flocked to there and moved in, they started farms and filmed them fucking animals and having animals fuck them.
02:45:31.000Like, that's an hour outside of Seattle.
02:45:52.000Take a drive, you know, up to some of the weird fucking spots near the mountains off the 118. I remember the first time, even when I went to Sacramento, when I landed at the airport, I'm like, what the fuck?
02:46:42.000If you're a kid, your mom shit you out in one of these towns, you gotta go to these local schools, and you're like, Jesus Christ, and you know, you're just a two-hour drive to L.A. If you could just get a car, just get a car, you could fucking end this nonsense.
02:46:55.000So a moment in high school, the moment you get some freedom, your friend's got a fucking car, and you got a full tank of gas, let's do it, we're going into L.A., let's go to L.A., He'd drive down and wish you lived here.
02:47:29.000Now when you drive up there, it's all these things about water rights, like, you know, go to this website, check out this, we need, you know, we need to establish our water rights.
02:49:13.000We'll be at the Comedy Store this Wednesday night.
02:49:15.000There's a new material show at 8 o'clock, and then I'm doing that, and then I'm doing the show at 10 o'clock with these two fine gentlemen.
02:49:23.000And then this weekend, Friday and Saturday, I'm at the Belly Room.
02:49:28.000I'm in the Belly Room at the store with Ian Edwards.