The Joe Rogan Experience - June 17, 2015


Joe Rogan Experience #661 - Rutledge Wood


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 57 minutes

Words per Minute

207.27478

Word Count

36,698

Sentence Count

3,647

Misogynist Sentences

112

Hate Speech Sentences

70


Summary

On this episode of the podcast, we are joined by Top Gear's very own Jason Blumberg. We talk about some of the craziest things he has ever done in a helicopter, including the helicopter crash that almost killed him and his co-pilot. We also talk about the time he almost got killed by an Apache helicopter and how he almost died on the set of Fear Factor. Also, Jason talks about his favorite places he has been in the helicopter and what it's like to fly in one. And of course, we talk about a bunch of other crazy things Jason has done in his life, including flying over the Big Island and flying over volcanoes. We hope you enjoy this episode, and if you like it, please HIT SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts and leave us a rating and review! Subscribe, Like, and Share it on whatever platform you're listening to this podcast. If you like the pod, please consider becoming a patron and leaving us a five star review and rating/review on iTunes! Thank you so we can keep sharing the pod with your friends, family, and the podcasting community! Peace, Love, Blessings, Cheers, EJ & Rory, Ej and Cheers. - The Ej & Rory - P.S. - Cheers - EJ and Rory - E.M. & Rory - Ej - Thank you, E.A. - Caitlyn and Rory, Caitlyn Love, Rory and EJ, - John & Ej, Jason and E.B. & EJaredis, & E.J. - - Jon & Rory xx - Jon and Rory - Jon and Ej - Jason, Sarah, . John & Rory & Erika , EJ - E. & R. & Jon, , EJ - , and Jon & Jon & RJ, and Jon and R.J., Jamie, Jon & JB, and J. & J-RJ, & J. , & Jon and J-B. . . - J-J. & BJ & B. & K. - R. & S. J-EJ, J-A. & C. & M. & P. & A. & D. & G. & OJ


Transcript

00:00:01.000 Yee-haw!
00:00:02.000 Alright, we're live, dude.
00:00:03.000 That's it.
00:00:03.000 We're going.
00:00:04.000 Boom.
00:00:04.000 It's moving.
00:00:05.000 Just like that.
00:00:05.000 Just like that, man.
00:00:06.000 This is amazing.
00:00:07.000 This is amazing to have you on, man.
00:00:08.000 Thanks for having me.
00:00:08.000 I like your show.
00:00:09.000 You know, it's one of the few shows where you take over, like, it's a real problem whenever you got a show that's iconic.
00:00:16.000 And Top Gear is iconic as fuck.
00:00:19.000 Oh, sure.
00:00:19.000 I mean, it's the iconic car show.
00:00:21.000 And then they did an Australia version, they've done other, how many versions are there now?
00:00:26.000 Australia was first.
00:00:27.000 There was a German one?
00:00:30.000 Really?
00:00:30.000 German one, yeah.
00:00:31.000 They did something with them once, and then that kind of killed them.
00:00:35.000 There's us.
00:00:35.000 We're still a thing.
00:00:36.000 There was a Top Gear Korea for like five minutes.
00:00:40.000 Which may or may not be going on.
00:00:42.000 They're the ones that dropped that Apache helicopter in the desert.
00:00:46.000 Everybody was fine.
00:00:47.000 What?
00:00:48.000 There was like a ZL1 Camaro getting chased by an Apache helicopter, which is something we did in our first season.
00:00:55.000 And the same helicopter pilot and co-pilot got too close to...
00:01:00.000 The blades got too close and caught it and it dropped them.
00:01:04.000 Oh!
00:01:04.000 They walked away, the helicopter was toast, but then when you hear it, you start, there's certain things that happen, you start to look back at your life and go like, does that mean I could have also almost died when we did that like 20 minutes from my house, season one?
00:01:16.000 Oh, for sure.
00:01:16.000 Totally.
00:01:17.000 Definitely.
00:01:18.000 So luckily that didn't happen.
00:01:19.000 Apache helicopters are fucking expensive as shit!
00:01:22.000 Yes!
00:01:23.000 Yeah.
00:01:40.000 So they exist, and they can do different films and movies, and it's cool for these guys because they get to use the skills that they had and get to do something cool with them.
00:01:48.000 But again, it's a real helicopter.
00:01:50.000 Like, it's a bad bitch helicopter that...
00:01:53.000 They have to be worth millions, right?
00:01:55.000 They have to be.
00:01:56.000 They have to be.
00:01:57.000 I mean, what is one of those worth, Jamie?
00:01:58.000 Find out what one of those fuckers are worth.
00:02:01.000 We had, uh, not those, but we had a bunch of helicopters that we used on Fear Factor, and a lot of times they were really close to each other, like they'd have to fly staggered, where the blades of one were just above the blades of the other, and they're connected, both of them connected by ropes to something.
00:02:17.000 They were picking up, like a bus or some shit.
00:02:19.000 One fucking stupid thing.
00:02:20.000 $52 million!
00:02:22.000 Jesus fucking Christ!
00:02:24.000 Wow.
00:02:25.000 Oh my God!
00:02:27.000 I don't feel like there's any of those on Amazon is what my gut tells me.
00:02:32.000 There might be.
00:02:32.000 eBay, for sure.
00:02:34.000 603% more expensive than the average for its class.
00:02:37.000 Were you ever close enough when they were doing that and you can feel like the wash from them?
00:02:42.000 Yeah.
00:02:42.000 I assume you've been in a helicopter.
00:02:44.000 Yes.
00:02:45.000 One of my least favorite things in life.
00:02:47.000 I've only been, honestly, I never flew in a helicopter the entire time we did Fear Factor.
00:02:52.000 We shot for six fucking years, helicopters every other week.
00:02:55.000 I never got on one.
00:02:56.000 Good for you.
00:02:57.000 Because I couldn't.
00:02:58.000 I would have to be insured to get into the helicopter.
00:03:01.000 But I've been on them on vacation.
00:03:03.000 I've done the Big Island in Hawaii.
00:03:06.000 You go over the volcanoes?
00:03:07.000 Have you ever done that?
00:03:08.000 I've not.
00:03:09.000 I've been there once.
00:03:10.000 It was lovely.
00:03:11.000 Dude, it's...
00:03:12.000 It's, like, literally take, like, it takes my breath away just thinking about it.
00:03:16.000 Because it's the earth bleeding out into the surface.
00:03:20.000 Middle of nowhere.
00:03:21.000 And then pouring into the water and creating the island.
00:03:24.000 You watch the island be created.
00:03:26.000 Like, it's, every day, it's, like, a couple more inches gets added to the big island.
00:03:31.000 And you could actually literally watch it happen.
00:03:33.000 And that's that, like, next level stuff.
00:03:36.000 Meanwhile, the whole time I'm in there, I'm thinking, like, this bitch is going to go down any second.
00:03:41.000 That's When it takes off or when it lands is the worst part for me.
00:03:45.000 Because you can feel, when you feel that wind push up against the blade and it's like, are we going to go?
00:03:49.000 Are we thinking about it?
00:03:50.000 That's for me the pants crapping factor that makes it not fun.
00:03:54.000 Well, it's also, I've owned a lot of shitboxes, and I'm sure you have too.
00:03:58.000 So you're aware of things breaking, like you're on the highway.
00:04:01.000 Uh-oh, what's that noise?
00:04:02.000 Dun dun!
00:04:04.000 But if a wheel falls off, you and I can pull over.
00:04:07.000 Exactly.
00:04:07.000 If a rotor drops off, we make the news.
00:04:11.000 It's not my favorite.
00:04:13.000 Yeah, I think there's a way they can kind of like...
00:04:16.000 Bill Burr just started flying helicopters.
00:04:18.000 He has this fucking hilarious bit about it on his last Netflix special about flying helicopters.
00:04:23.000 But he said that they're not nearly as bad to crash as people think they are.
00:04:28.000 There's a way you learn how to bring them down.
00:04:31.000 That's what he says.
00:04:32.000 I'll pass on that, man.
00:04:34.000 I will.
00:04:34.000 And for you, I would probably, if he ever invites you up, then I'd just tell him, no, I'll just meet you there, man.
00:04:39.000 I'll go.
00:04:40.000 I'll just drive.
00:04:40.000 I'll go for the story.
00:04:42.000 When I was in high school, a buddy of mine was taking flight lessons.
00:04:44.000 When I was in high school, I had a buddy of mine, and his parents were, he was a wild guy.
00:04:50.000 His family was, his dad was a poacher.
00:04:52.000 His dad would shoot deer illegally.
00:04:55.000 There was a lot of weird shit in their family, and they were teaching him at a very young age how to fly planes.
00:05:00.000 I don't know what the fuck they were going to do with the plane, but he came from a very sketchy family.
00:05:04.000 But we were like fucking 15, and we were in a plane.
00:05:08.000 I'm like, dude, you're 15. Well, you shouldn't be flying shit, but we were flying in a little single-engine plane.
00:05:15.000 One of those little...
00:05:16.000 One of my best friends flies for Delta, and I tell him, you know, you travel a lot, you get it, but if I hear his name broadcast over the PA, I'm probably going to get off the plane, because I've been drunk with him enough times that it's just...
00:05:31.000 I dig that he's in charge of so many people's lives, I just don't know if we're there.
00:05:34.000 Did you see the picture of the plane that ran into a bird?
00:05:39.000 A commercial jet plane slammed into a bird, and it caved in the entire front of the plane?
00:05:44.000 No.
00:05:45.000 You didn't see it?
00:05:45.000 That's awesome, though.
00:05:46.000 Jamie, pull that up.
00:05:47.000 I mean, assuming everyone's okay.
00:05:49.000 Everyone lived, because it hit it perfect.
00:05:52.000 But if it hit the wing, I mean, you look at what it did to the front of the plane.
00:05:56.000 Like, if it just hit, you know, six feet to the left, six feet to the right, whatever...
00:06:00.000 It looked like people might have died.
00:06:03.000 Or if it landed through the windshield, it might have killed the pilot.
00:06:05.000 I mean, if you're hitting a Canadian goose, like one of those big fucking giant geese...
00:06:11.000 Then you're trying to land in the Hudson.
00:06:13.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:06:14.000 That's a whole different...
00:06:15.000 Exactly, like that story, yeah.
00:06:17.000 So there's this place in Georgia, near me, where we shot, the same place with the helicopter, and they are the people that go and recover airplanes.
00:06:25.000 Look at that, there's the impact.
00:06:26.000 Holy cow, right?
00:06:27.000 Just boom, soft spot, right in there.
00:06:29.000 So when the plane went down the Hudson, these redneck dudes from Griffin, Georgia, were sent up there to get the plane.
00:06:38.000 It's floating in the water.
00:06:39.000 Right.
00:06:40.000 Insurance companies pay them to go and recover these planes.
00:06:43.000 And they have to basically cut them up, get them on a train or a flatbed or whatever.
00:06:48.000 And so for Christmas, one of our executive producers for Top Gear, he was like showing me, oh, here's some stuff I got from Ronnie and my buddies back in Georgia.
00:06:56.000 And it was a tiny bottle of Jack Daniels that looked like it had mold growing on the outside.
00:07:01.000 And it was one of the bottles that was in the plane that went down on the Hudson.
00:07:04.000 And these guys recovered it.
00:07:06.000 Right.
00:07:06.000 And that was his Christmas keepsake to his friends.
00:07:09.000 That's funny.
00:07:10.000 Wow, that's probably worth money.
00:07:12.000 I would think so.
00:07:13.000 Put that on eBay.
00:07:14.000 I mean, there's this cool old 50s looking plane.
00:07:18.000 I was like, oh, that looks neat.
00:07:20.000 They landed that, and the guy was like, oh, no, that plane hit the water in Panama City.
00:07:24.000 That guy died.
00:07:26.000 You couldn't have a more trite business unless maybe you were an undertaker.
00:07:30.000 I don't know.
00:07:32.000 Maybe a funeral service director?
00:07:33.000 I'm not sure.
00:07:34.000 But you have to basically go pick up crap after Bill Burr and his friends learn how to roll a helicopter that's going down safely.
00:07:41.000 Didn't Patrick Swayze crash drunk?
00:07:43.000 Wasn't that something that happened?
00:07:45.000 I believe Patrick Swayze, before he died, was boozing it up and flying around with his cancer.
00:07:50.000 It was like...
00:07:50.000 Not so happy with life.
00:07:51.000 Just going for it.
00:07:52.000 Just getting hammered and flying around.
00:07:54.000 I mean, he had cancer for quite a while and was flying planes.
00:07:58.000 And I think he crashed one of them.
00:08:00.000 Pretty sure he crashed one of them and walked away.
00:08:02.000 That dude's hardcore.
00:08:03.000 And was it Harrison Ford that just landed one on a golf course?
00:08:07.000 Yeah, he crash-landed somewhere.
00:08:10.000 Harrison Ford, apparently he got pretty banged up.
00:08:12.000 Like, that was a real crash.
00:08:15.000 Swayze suspected of drunk flying.
00:08:18.000 It was in 2000. Yeah, three men are facing misdemeanor charges in connection with Patrick Swayze's emergency landing earlier this month.
00:08:26.000 The men are accused of failing to tell authorities about how they allegedly helped the act to remove alcoholic beverages from his crashed plane.
00:08:34.000 He was doing it, man.
00:08:36.000 Hey, he's a fucking dirty dancing guy.
00:08:38.000 Come on, he's Roadhouse.
00:08:40.000 Let him, you know.
00:08:41.000 It's weird that, like, Patrick Swayze would wear stuff in those movies that, like, if our friends wore, we'd kind of make fun of.
00:08:47.000 But when Patrick Swayze wears, you're like, that guy can dance.
00:08:50.000 Only because you didn't know him.
00:08:51.000 If you got to know him...
00:08:53.000 After a while, you'd start mocking him, you know, if you were hanging around with him.
00:08:56.000 If you met Patrick Swayze and he was, like, dancing, you'd be like, hey, that's pretty cool.
00:09:00.000 And then, like, five minutes later, you'd be like, uh, do you do sports or just fucking dance around?
00:09:05.000 Can you play golf?
00:09:05.000 What is, uh, do you have friends?
00:09:07.000 Do you just dance?
00:09:08.000 What kind of friends are you hanging around with?
00:09:09.000 Like, on a Tuesday, you just dance?
00:09:10.000 Do you know Mikhail Baryshnikov or some shit?
00:09:12.000 Like, there's...
00:09:13.000 Roadhouse.
00:09:15.000 Roadhouse.
00:09:15.000 God, what a movie.
00:09:16.000 What was my man playing the guitar?
00:09:18.000 Um...
00:09:19.000 The blind guy.
00:09:20.000 Oh yeah, that guy.
00:09:21.000 He was really good.
00:09:22.000 He was really good.
00:09:23.000 Whatever happened to that dude?
00:09:24.000 He got killed.
00:09:25.000 Did he really?
00:09:26.000 Yeah.
00:09:26.000 Died.
00:09:26.000 I think he was in a car wreck.
00:09:28.000 Fuck.
00:09:28.000 He wasn't driving.
00:09:29.000 I'm sure.
00:09:30.000 As you know.
00:09:31.000 That's not a joke against blind people.
00:09:33.000 That guy was really good.
00:09:33.000 I asked the same question.
00:09:35.000 That guy was a really good musician.
00:09:37.000 He was great.
00:09:38.000 That's right.
00:09:39.000 He was in it.
00:09:39.000 I forgot he was in it.
00:09:40.000 And that's Sam.
00:09:41.000 Jeff Healy.
00:09:42.000 Jeff Healy.
00:09:42.000 Thank you.
00:09:43.000 How did he die?
00:09:45.000 Find it for us.
00:09:45.000 This is the...
00:09:46.000 Can I get something like that that just goes with my places?
00:09:49.000 It's called Google.
00:09:50.000 Right?
00:09:51.000 You can do it yourself.
00:09:51.000 It's so much more fun with someone else.
00:09:53.000 Like, you can continue your thought.
00:09:55.000 That's the benefit when you have a podcast.
00:09:59.000 Diet of cancer, endermen surgery, remove metastatic tissue from both lungs.
00:10:03.000 Oh, wow.
00:10:04.000 And that's what, in Alabama, that's what we call a car wreck.
00:10:06.000 So, my bad.
00:10:07.000 I categorized that wrong.
00:10:10.000 Well, we were talking before the podcast, and we were talking about muscle cars, and we were talking about Mustangs, and Mustang people being weird.
00:10:19.000 Like, you're not the only one who's ever said that to me.
00:10:21.000 I haven't experienced this, except in high school.
00:10:23.000 When I was in high school, my auto shop teacher was a Mustang fanatic.
00:10:29.000 Okay.
00:10:29.000 The guy was nuts.
00:10:30.000 Sure.
00:10:30.000 And he had all these old, shitty Mustangs that he had, like, put back together again.
00:10:34.000 And they were all, like, fucking...
00:10:36.000 He'd have students do the Bondo on them.
00:10:37.000 They're all, you know, look at them sideways.
00:10:39.000 It was like looking at a fucking ski slope.
00:10:41.000 Right.
00:10:41.000 They were just completely fucked up.
00:10:44.000 But he was weird, and he didn't like any other cars.
00:10:47.000 He was like, I like Mustangs.
00:10:48.000 Just hardcore.
00:10:49.000 Just all he wanted.
00:10:50.000 And he didn't even like the cool ones.
00:10:53.000 He had shitty hubcaps, and he never did them up nice, where they looked like something I would want, and I loved muscle cars.
00:11:03.000 But in his mind, they were the jam, right?
00:11:05.000 Yeah.
00:11:06.000 It was a Mustang or nothing.
00:11:08.000 That was his thing.
00:11:09.000 And to quantify it a tiny bit, you told me that you were kind of thinking about building a car and it's maybe a Chevelle or maybe a Mustang.
00:11:16.000 I think there's lots of...
00:11:17.000 If you look at the car world, man, there's so many different pockets of people and the stuff that they like.
00:11:22.000 And I was never a big Mustang guy.
00:11:26.000 I dig them.
00:11:27.000 I get why people love them.
00:11:29.000 But, like, let's pick the Fox body, right?
00:11:31.000 That's the 79 to 93, and they made a few changes in there.
00:11:37.000 Like, they had T-tops and a few of them.
00:11:39.000 Those are death.
00:11:40.000 Those cars were death.
00:11:41.000 They're just...
00:11:41.000 Shit.
00:11:42.000 They're in Vanilla Ice's number one song, right?
00:11:45.000 Doom, doom, doom, doom, doom, doom.
00:11:46.000 With a rag top down so my hair can blow.
00:11:48.000 And I dig that, but that's what that car was like to me.
00:11:50.000 It was a very great representation of sort of like a redneck, mullet, late 80s, early 90s kind of style.
00:11:58.000 Well, on my show, Lawson Transmission, we had to take one.
00:12:01.000 I found it in my buddy's junkyard.
00:12:03.000 I needed an engine and transmission to try to make this AMC Eagle cool, right?
00:12:08.000 I couldn't keep the car all-wheel drive.
00:12:10.000 It was like a jacked-up, ugly 4x4.
00:12:13.000 I couldn't keep it all-wheel drive and have any amount of power.
00:12:15.000 So I said, all right, let's make it rear-wheel drive.
00:12:17.000 Let's make it something cool.
00:12:18.000 So I had to basically sacrifice this fox body.
00:12:21.000 And dude, people came out of the woodwork.
00:12:23.000 I don't know how active you are.
00:12:25.000 I know you are.
00:12:26.000 But sometimes when people try to get mad at you on Facebook, it's so much funnier to read.
00:12:33.000 And you're like, this guy was so pissed he forgot that English is a language.
00:12:37.000 Because it's just a hail of words, and he tried to call this one fox body rare, and I made fun of him, and then other people saw it.
00:12:46.000 Not in a mean way, I just poked back, but there's no fox body that's rare, number one.
00:12:50.000 Well, let's pull those pictures back up again, and let's all agree that these should all be put in a pile and nuked.
00:12:56.000 Right?
00:12:56.000 These are awful, disgusting cars.
00:12:58.000 The worst representation of American muscle cars that have ever been built.
00:13:02.000 Look at that girl in the hood.
00:13:04.000 Even she's non-enthusiastic.
00:13:05.000 She's like this, I hate my boyfriend, Chaz.
00:13:08.000 I hate Chaz.
00:13:09.000 He's an asshole.
00:13:10.000 He makes me get on top of his shitty fucking car.
00:13:13.000 Get on this car.
00:13:13.000 And you know, that's like an LX 5.0.
00:13:15.000 Might have been a four-cylinder.
00:13:17.000 I don't know.
00:13:17.000 Oh, look at the girl with the pink one.
00:13:18.000 Oh, yeah.
00:13:19.000 Oh, yeah.
00:13:21.000 You totally want to buy her some Boone's Farm.
00:13:24.000 Look at you, girl!
00:13:25.000 I like how they redid the back lights.
00:13:27.000 They got crafty with the fucking custom lights.
00:13:29.000 Yeah, the Eurotail, the Altezza style.
00:13:32.000 I mean, it was supposed to be a muscle car, and it had four lug wheels.
00:13:36.000 It was a disgusting car.
00:13:37.000 My buddy Kevin Chason had one when we were kids.
00:13:40.000 He had a 5.0.
00:13:43.000 I'm not saying you can't make them cool.
00:13:45.000 Oh yeah, I mean, they're kind of cool.
00:13:46.000 They're kind of cool.
00:13:47.000 That's cool.
00:13:48.000 But they're not cool compared to the 60s Mustangs, and they're not cool compared to the new ones.
00:13:53.000 The new ones are fucking badass.
00:13:55.000 They're dope, right?
00:13:56.000 And really, they got better than what was the next one, the SN95, not to be a total dork.
00:14:02.000 I know codes and stuff I shouldn't.
00:14:04.000 You shouldn't.
00:14:05.000 They got cooler, right?
00:14:06.000 They got better.
00:14:07.000 They were kind of decent, and then in the 2000s, I had a 2010 Shelby GT500. That's a badass car.
00:14:16.000 It was a vicious car.
00:14:17.000 But it was, you know, live rear axle, the handling properties weren't the best, but it wasn't about that.
00:14:23.000 That car was about it could go sideways anytime you wanted it to.
00:14:26.000 It was like, anybody around?
00:14:28.000 No.
00:14:28.000 Hit it!
00:14:31.000 I would just go sideways around corners.
00:14:33.000 I mean, it was so easy.
00:14:35.000 Right.
00:14:35.000 Just any time you wanted to, you'd just give it a little juice and it would just kick out the back for you.
00:14:39.000 And there's really only a handful of cars that you feel like when you see someone on the road, and you know, sometimes people, it's not that they're messing with you, they're just not bright enough to know how to be a good driver.
00:14:49.000 That's one of those cars you would always see a dude in a Mustang just be like, I've had enough of your crap.
00:14:54.000 I'm out.
00:14:55.000 I'm going to drop the hammer and I go.
00:14:56.000 So, like, I always like that about them.
00:14:58.000 But there's just certain cars that people that love them are sometimes just, they turn me off of the car.
00:15:05.000 Like, I always wanted an E46 M3, BMW, right?
00:15:08.000 That, to me, it's just such a great car out of the box.
00:15:11.000 But then when I would meet a lot of the people that would own them, I would decide I don't think I really want to own one.
00:15:17.000 I don't know.
00:15:18.000 Well, I've heard that about Porsches, too.
00:15:19.000 Right.
00:15:20.000 People have always said that about Porsches.
00:15:21.000 Magnus Walker is changing that for me.
00:15:23.000 Yes, he is.
00:15:24.000 Right?
00:15:24.000 How could that guy...
00:15:26.000 How could you not love Magnus, first off?
00:15:28.000 He's just a badass dude.
00:15:31.000 That just likes what he likes.
00:15:32.000 Well, he's also so enthusiastic about it that it's contagious.
00:15:36.000 Oh, yeah.
00:15:36.000 He loves those, like, 60 to 73. And now he's into some turbos now, some older turbo models.
00:15:43.000 Sure.
00:15:43.000 Oh, he loves those 930s.
00:15:45.000 I mean, he's got a bunch of those.
00:15:46.000 Yeah.
00:15:47.000 And I think your buddies at Shark Works took him a newer one, like a 14, that he got to go beat around on.
00:15:53.000 And then suddenly he was like, maybe the new ones aren't so bad.
00:15:55.000 Well, he knows now.
00:15:56.000 Well, he had never experienced anything like the GT2. So what Alex did, Alex, my buddy from Sharkworks, took a GT2 from, I want to say it's 2010 maybe, somewhere around there.
00:16:09.000 Yeah.
00:16:09.000 And he made it 800 horsepower.
00:16:12.000 And it is the fucking scariest car I've ever driven in my life.
00:16:16.000 Yeah.
00:16:16.000 I mean, it's fucking terrifying.
00:16:17.000 Like, my GT3 has 518 horsepower.
00:16:20.000 That has almost 300 more horsepower.
00:16:24.000 Right.
00:16:24.000 It's somewhere in the eights.
00:16:25.000 It's mind-bogglingly fast.
00:16:28.000 It's a fucking time machine.
00:16:29.000 And he let Magnus drive it, and he said, do with it whatever you would do if it was your own car.
00:16:35.000 So Magnus had it fucking painted.
00:16:36.000 Right.
00:16:37.000 Yeah.
00:16:37.000 But that's how cool Alex is, and that's how cool Magnus is.
00:16:41.000 They're both fanatics, so they just have this understanding with each other.
00:16:45.000 So this is what he did to it.
00:16:46.000 You can see it there.
00:16:47.000 He painted it.
00:16:48.000 I think it's ugly as fuck.
00:16:50.000 Oh, come on.
00:16:50.000 You don't like that?
00:16:51.000 It's disgusting.
00:16:52.000 It's disgusting.
00:16:52.000 I love the gold wheel.
00:16:54.000 The gold wheels aren't bad, but the orange on the bumpers?
00:16:57.000 Like, why?
00:16:58.000 It has that very, like, German DTM kind of look to it.
00:17:01.000 Dog shit.
00:17:03.000 It's a great car.
00:17:05.000 It's such a beautiful design, though.
00:17:07.000 It doesn't need fucking gray stripes in the hood and orange bumper.
00:17:11.000 But whatever, it's not my car.
00:17:13.000 But the bottom line is, driving it, though?
00:17:15.000 What a goddamn experience!
00:17:17.000 Yeah.
00:17:18.000 Oh!
00:17:19.000 It's terrifying.
00:17:20.000 We took it up Angel's Crest.
00:17:22.000 Oh, yeah.
00:17:22.000 That area.
00:17:23.000 And you can't drive it up.
00:17:25.000 It's too fast.
00:17:26.000 Every corner comes too quick.
00:17:28.000 Right.
00:17:29.000 And that's one of those cars that is, when the power comes on, it doesn't matter how they've tuned it.
00:17:35.000 Your foot is not a machine.
00:17:37.000 Your foot is like, hey, let's Let's do this!
00:17:39.000 So all of a sudden you think, maybe I'll shoot off this hill, or is this in the one...
00:17:44.000 Because you can't...
00:17:45.000 It's hard to drive that car in control no matter who you are.
00:17:49.000 Well, I never really thought...
00:17:51.000 I've never been in a car that had too much power before.
00:17:54.000 Where I drove it.
00:17:55.000 Right.
00:17:55.000 I've always been like, whoa, this is fast.
00:17:57.000 Like, the Shelby GT500 was like 550 horsepower, a pretty light car.
00:18:02.000 I'm like, god damn, this thing is fast.
00:18:04.000 Ridiculously fast.
00:18:05.000 The GT3 is super fast, but that is in a different category.
00:18:08.000 It's mind-boggling how much power it has.
00:18:12.000 And when it kicks in, it just pins you to the chair.
00:18:16.000 Whoosh!
00:18:19.000 Your heart starts, you're like, I'm gonna die.
00:18:21.000 This is physics.
00:18:23.000 You're like, I get it, James Dean.
00:18:25.000 I get you, man.
00:18:27.000 Feel it, brother.
00:18:28.000 Feel it.
00:18:29.000 On a highway, apparently, is even scarier.
00:18:31.000 They were saying on the highway, you just don't feel compelled to let off the gas, and so you look down, you're going 170 miles an hour on a 405, and you're like, what the fuck am I doing?
00:18:39.000 Last season of Top Gear, we went to Germany.
00:18:42.000 We drove on the Nürburgring.
00:18:44.000 Have you ever been there?
00:18:45.000 No, what is that like?
00:18:46.000 Nürburgring is like being inside of a video game.
00:18:50.000 For folks who aren't car geeks, the Nürburgring is the track that everyone talks about when you talk about lap times.
00:18:57.000 Like, if you have a car that can do seven minutes 30 seconds or below on the Nurburgring, you've got a motherfucker of a car.
00:19:05.000 It's fast.
00:19:06.000 It's a motherfucker.
00:19:07.000 The record is just under seven minutes, right, now?
00:19:10.000 So it's for the 12-minute course, right?
00:19:13.000 It's 14 if you run the whole thing, but the 12-minute course is just under seven for some unbelievably fast thing.
00:19:20.000 When we went there, Tanner's got a friend over there, right?
00:19:23.000 Tanner Faust.
00:19:24.000 Tanner Faust.
00:19:25.000 You, Adam Ferrara, and Tanner are the hosts of I love Top Gear USA. Adam said to tell you hi, by the way.
00:19:30.000 I love that dude.
00:19:31.000 Gosh, he loves you.
00:19:32.000 You guys.
00:19:32.000 I love that comedy, it's like one gigantic fraternity and sorority that everyone likes everyone unless you're that 1A hole.
00:19:40.000 There's a few of them.
00:19:41.000 We could go into that off the air.
00:19:42.000 I know it's a different thing.
00:19:43.000 We know about four guys that need to be killed.
00:19:45.000 Right, exactly.
00:19:45.000 Everybody else, though.
00:19:46.000 They need to take them and climb into the body of those shitty old Mustangs and nuke them from orbit.
00:19:49.000 Just push them in there.
00:19:51.000 But Tanner's got a friend who is friends with the owner, the people that just bought it.
00:19:55.000 So they closed the Nurburgring for us.
00:19:57.000 Oh, God.
00:19:58.000 For three hours.
00:19:59.000 We had the track all to ourselves.
00:20:00.000 Wow.
00:20:01.000 Dude, that's the most insane thing I've ever done in my life.
00:20:04.000 And I was in a 2014 Carrera S, 4S, so it's a non-turbo all-wheel drive, and it's a little over 300 horsepower, right?
00:20:13.000 Yeah.
00:20:13.000 It's about four, I think.
00:20:14.000 Yeah, you're right.
00:20:16.000 It's about 400 horsepower.
00:20:17.000 You could kill yourself on that track in a Yugo, maybe on a bicycle, on a good downhill.
00:20:23.000 Every turn is a blind turn.
00:20:25.000 Every hill is a blind hill.
00:20:26.000 I hit 182 on the backstretch.
00:20:31.000 And then, like, on the way there, we were trying to hit the rev limiter on the Autobahn because people know how to drive on the interstate there.
00:20:39.000 It's the most amazing thing.
00:20:41.000 They get in the right-hand lane and they stay there until they need to use the left, and then they just haul out.
00:20:45.000 Unlike California.
00:20:46.000 Unlike anywhere.
00:20:48.000 California's the worst.
00:20:49.000 Oh, yeah.
00:20:49.000 Everywhere I've lived, California's the worst when it comes to getting out of that left lane.
00:20:54.000 Nobody respects it.
00:20:55.000 They literally will slow down.
00:20:57.000 I'm going fast enough.
00:20:58.000 Yeah.
00:20:58.000 I'm just going to patrol this on my own.
00:21:01.000 I live in California.
00:21:01.000 I've always lived in California.
00:21:02.000 I don't know anything about small roads.
00:21:05.000 Because they kind of designed the roads out here for a bunch of cars.
00:21:08.000 Right.
00:21:08.000 There's no, like, when I first came here, one of the first things that I did, I drove down to, there's a place called Hard Times Billiards in Bellflower, California.
00:21:15.000 It's like a legendary pool hall.
00:21:16.000 And I drove down there, and you have to take the 405 to get down there.
00:21:19.000 I was like...
00:21:20.000 Look at this fucking road!
00:21:22.000 It's like seven lanes on each side.
00:21:24.000 I'm like, this is insane!
00:21:25.000 In Massachusetts, where I grew up, there's nothing like that.
00:21:28.000 They didn't exist.
00:21:29.000 They were like horse and buggy roads, and someone had put hard pavement over it.
00:21:33.000 Sure.
00:21:33.000 You know?
00:21:34.000 Potholes everywhere.
00:21:35.000 Yeah.
00:21:35.000 The roads out here, it's the...
00:21:37.000 This is like the best car culture in the world, and the worst driving conditions for car people.
00:21:43.000 Certainly for traffic.
00:21:45.000 It's on...
00:21:45.000 Dude, I don't...
00:21:46.000 3 a.m., you guys can have traffic in the middle of nowhere.
00:21:49.000 Dead bumper to bumper.
00:21:51.000 For no real reason.
00:21:52.000 The real reason is people fuck, and they make babies, and then they move out here because they want to be famous.
00:21:57.000 Yeah, let's come out here.
00:21:58.000 I mean, don't get wrong.
00:21:59.000 If you go north, if you go south, I mean, there are some great roads to drive here.
00:22:03.000 Yeah.
00:22:04.000 But it'll take you six hours to go five miles to find them.
00:22:07.000 Right.
00:22:08.000 I'm so nervous going anywhere here.
00:22:11.000 I was five minutes away and just crapping my pants about if I could get here on time or not.
00:22:15.000 Yeah, it's a nerve-wracking place if you want to be punctual.
00:22:19.000 It's nutty.
00:22:20.000 That's for sure.
00:22:22.000 Let's go to the Nürburgring.
00:22:23.000 What was your time?
00:22:24.000 How fast did you get around it?
00:22:27.000 I think I was under 10 minutes for my first lap.
00:22:30.000 That's pretty goddamn good.
00:22:31.000 And they said, first time seeing the track, that's great.
00:22:35.000 You should feel really good about it.
00:22:36.000 Did you lose it at any point in time or did you get close?
00:22:39.000 Did you edge?
00:22:40.000 The carousel is the coolest feeling I've ever had because you dip in and there's graffiti everywhere, right?
00:22:47.000 Because they have these huge parties out there around the races and so you're seeing all this stuff and the car just dips in and you're hauling ass as hard as you can and then it just shoots you right out the other side and you keep going and you're like, I just did it.
00:22:59.000 So the carousel is like you're almost going sideways, like a bank?
00:23:03.000 Yes, it's a steep bank that just kind of pops in out of nowhere, and you just get in and you kind of just ride it.
00:23:09.000 There it is right there.
00:23:11.000 Dude, it's so awesome.
00:23:13.000 Fuck, it's so crazy!
00:23:14.000 And the whole time I kept thinking, what am I doing here?
00:23:18.000 Like, how did this happen?
00:23:19.000 How did this goofball kid from Atlanta end up on this show and they handed me a car and the keys to the Nürburgring?
00:23:27.000 To a German Porsche, a modern German Porsche.
00:23:30.000 It was insane.
00:23:31.000 And they do the coolest part about that road and that track.
00:23:35.000 On days when there aren't races, it's a toll road.
00:23:37.000 So you can pay $30 and go take a lap.
00:23:41.000 Really?
00:23:42.000 So there are guys like you and I who are there who either showed up with a 911, rented one, whatever, right?
00:23:48.000 So they're going out having fun.
00:23:50.000 You still have to use your blinker and you can only pass on the left, which is hilarious to me.
00:23:54.000 But there's also like grandmothers and families and tourists...
00:23:59.000 On the track at the same time.
00:24:01.000 Wow.
00:24:01.000 So you're just going to do it, but people are really going.
00:24:04.000 And so we're standing there.
00:24:05.000 We had just wrapped up, and I was like, if we've got five minutes, I just want to watch some cars.
00:24:09.000 You see this Mini Cooper come hauling ass around, right?
00:24:12.000 And this dude's just carving.
00:24:13.000 And there's a guy in an F430 Ferrari who's like, I can keep up with this son of a bitch.
00:24:18.000 And he punted that F430 into the wall.
00:24:21.000 Oh!
00:24:21.000 One side and then drug it down past us.
00:24:24.000 Now because it's a toll road, they have to do an accident investigation.
00:24:28.000 The Mini's gone.
00:24:30.000 The Mini Cooper's checked out.
00:24:31.000 He didn't have anything to do with it.
00:24:33.000 Right.
00:24:33.000 But I think he still felt bad.
00:24:34.000 So everybody that was on the track at that point has to exit.
00:24:38.000 And this team shows up and they do like an accident investigation because that guy's insurance would still be good on the track at that moment because it was a toll road.
00:24:45.000 That's hilarious.
00:24:47.000 So how fast can you go?
00:24:48.000 I hit 183. And there's no speed limit?
00:24:51.000 No.
00:24:51.000 You could just go.
00:24:52.000 And I was not the fastest car we had.
00:24:55.000 What kind of fucking insurance do they have?
00:24:57.000 Crazy.
00:24:57.000 Crazy.
00:24:59.000 Because you've heard of friends that are like, oh, I took this new car to the track, and then I paid a tow truck guy to drop it on the side of the 405 so I can call the insurance company and tell them I don't know what happened.
00:25:09.000 Right.
00:25:09.000 I was sitting here.
00:25:10.000 Right.
00:25:11.000 So I guess it just works out better.
00:25:13.000 But you can rent a race car there, either like a Peugeot or they have all these like little kind of import smaller race cars you can rent.
00:25:22.000 It says like rent a race car on the windshield and just go for it.
00:25:25.000 Well, if you get a Nissan GT-R, they have a speed limiter on it until you get to race courses and the GPS recognizes that you're at a race course.
00:25:34.000 That's awesome.
00:25:35.000 And it lets you just go fucking crazy.
00:25:37.000 Have you driven one?
00:25:39.000 Yes.
00:25:39.000 Such a great car for the money.
00:25:40.000 I rented one.
00:25:41.000 Did you?
00:25:41.000 Yes, I rented one in Austin, Texas.
00:25:44.000 If you go to, is it Hertz?
00:25:48.000 I think it's Hertz.
00:25:49.000 Hertz has some pretty ridiculous cars you can rent.
00:25:51.000 And if you want to pay, they'll let you run a GTR. I was like, what?
00:25:56.000 So the whole weekend, I was like, I was riding a ride everywhere.
00:25:59.000 Dude, I mean, for the supercar world, it's such a bargain, that car.
00:26:04.000 I mean, they're getting more expensive now.
00:26:07.000 They're somewhere around $100,000 now.
00:26:09.000 They were like $70,000 or something.
00:26:10.000 $89,000, I think, was when they first came out.
00:26:12.000 Yeah, and it was like fully loaded.
00:26:13.000 Now they keep adding a little bit more.
00:26:16.000 They're a little bit over 100 now, but the way they handle is like, it defies physics.
00:26:21.000 It doesn't feel like, like the GT3 handles amazing, but it makes sense.
00:26:27.000 That car does not make sense because there's all sorts of electronics going on.
00:26:31.000 It's four-wheel drive.
00:26:32.000 It's very heavy.
00:26:34.000 It's probably like eight or nine hundred pounds heavier than my GT3. It's like 3,900 pounds or something like that, I think.
00:26:40.000 I think it's a fairly heavy car.
00:26:42.000 And that's like part of their strategy in some sort of strange way, but it fucking works.
00:26:47.000 That is an ungodly fast ride.
00:26:50.000 And it's just hopping and go.
00:26:52.000 Tanner doesn't like it because it takes so much, he feels like, away from a driver at that skill level.
00:26:58.000 Right.
00:26:58.000 But you and I are in fact not Tanner Faust.
00:27:00.000 Yes.
00:27:00.000 So I don't feel like I feel that same way.
00:27:03.000 Well, one of my favorite episodes of your show was when he was racing with a motorcycle around all these industrial boxes and crates.
00:27:12.000 Oh, was he in a Corvette?
00:27:13.000 Yes, down in Long Beach.
00:27:15.000 Ooh!
00:27:15.000 Dude, that was nuts.
00:27:17.000 Dude.
00:27:17.000 When you can watch someone drift an entire cloverleaf on-ramp.
00:27:21.000 Yeah.
00:27:22.000 And I think the city of Long Beach tried to get mad at us afterwards.
00:27:25.000 Really?
00:27:25.000 Because they saw all the stripes that we had done.
00:27:29.000 And you're like, no, you gave us permission.
00:27:31.000 Sorry.
00:27:32.000 They were mad because there's rubber on the road?
00:27:34.000 Come on, that looks cool.
00:27:35.000 That's what I said.
00:27:36.000 What are they, pussies?
00:27:36.000 I don't know what their deal is.
00:27:37.000 Nobody died.
00:27:38.000 Yeah.
00:27:38.000 Fucking babies.
00:27:40.000 They called it a drift bike, right?
00:27:41.000 And he only had like three degrees of slip on it.
00:27:45.000 Still badass.
00:27:46.000 Here it is right here.
00:27:46.000 For the record.
00:27:47.000 Well, you just see how good a driver Tanner is in this video, especially with those shitty dogshit seats.
00:27:53.000 God, the seats in those fucking Corvettes.
00:27:56.000 Who the fuck allowed that?
00:27:58.000 That was such a glaring error on their part to make this incredible car, I mean a ridiculously fast car, and then give it these dogshit seats.
00:28:09.000 Terrible.
00:28:09.000 I had a Z06 for about five minutes.
00:28:12.000 Did you?
00:28:12.000 It was awesome.
00:28:13.000 Again, I'm not a Corvette guy.
00:28:15.000 You wouldn't see me get out of a car and think, that guy's got a Vette, because I don't have a gold chain.
00:28:21.000 I'm not wearing jean shorts.
00:28:23.000 Not wearing jean shorts.
00:28:24.000 Or jorts.
00:28:25.000 Jorts?
00:28:26.000 Jorts, if you will.
00:28:27.000 They're very popular in Florida.
00:28:29.000 Is that something that they wear?
00:28:29.000 They do.
00:28:30.000 They do.
00:28:31.000 And it was Atomic Orange.
00:28:32.000 I got it from my friend Kevin in Chicago.
00:28:35.000 Gave me a killer deal on it.
00:28:36.000 And it was one of those cars that once you drove, once you got in that Z06, it was an 07 Atomic Orange.
00:28:42.000 Everything about Corvettes changed.
00:28:44.000 I mean, it's the same as that car.
00:28:45.000 It's just such...
00:28:47.000 It's a mean-ass car.
00:28:48.000 So fast.
00:28:49.000 So fast.
00:28:50.000 So fun.
00:28:51.000 And really well-balanced, too.
00:28:53.000 Those cars are shockingly well-balanced.
00:28:55.000 Because it's plastic and American and the seats are dogshit, you think, well, this is a fucking terrible car, but it's not.
00:29:04.000 If you took it somewhere and just had some really good bucket seats installed, the ride experience, and then the steering wheel's dogshit, too.
00:29:12.000 They had the Cavaliers.
00:29:13.000 Yeah, that was always my beef.
00:29:15.000 You could get the same radio in the Corvette that you could in the S10. That's just not how that's supposed to work.
00:29:21.000 No.
00:29:22.000 But they did fix that.
00:29:23.000 Yeah.
00:29:23.000 I mean, the C7 is like the C6, Z06, and a GTR had an illegitimate child.
00:29:29.000 And that's what they spit out.
00:29:31.000 They even made it better than anybody anticipated.
00:29:34.000 Like, the new Z06 is a motherfucker of a car.
00:29:37.000 I mean, it is a really incredible, incredible car.
00:29:40.000 And that's just them listening.
00:29:43.000 You know, which you gotta appreciate.
00:29:44.000 Thank goodness.
00:29:44.000 Yeah, they listened, and they even engineered it, like, way better than the other ones.
00:29:48.000 I mean, the new Corvette, the C7 Corvette, is a marvelous car.
00:29:52.000 It's a marvel of engineering.
00:29:54.000 It really is.
00:29:55.000 I mean, there's not a car under half a million dollars that even compares to it.
00:30:00.000 You know, when they get that Z06? Yeah.
00:30:02.000 And they finally, they're like, yeah, let's do it.
00:30:03.000 Yeah, they finally figured it out.
00:30:05.000 The seats are perfect.
00:30:06.000 Like, everything's great in it.
00:30:07.000 Tanner's good.
00:30:08.000 He could drive his ass off.
00:30:09.000 Man, every time, we would go and do stuff, and people would say, like, why are you letting Tanner beat you?
00:30:13.000 And I'd just smile, like, what the fuck are you talking about?
00:30:15.000 I don't know if you noticed.
00:30:16.000 I was trying my ass off.
00:30:18.000 I'm actually not trying to let him beat me.
00:30:20.000 I think people don't truly understand the amount of skill and knowledge that's involved in driving a car like that.
00:30:26.000 Oh, yeah.
00:30:26.000 Or when he took the GT2 around downtown LA at night.
00:30:30.000 How nutty was that?
00:30:32.000 They closed down some sections of downtown LA, and he had a really recent model GT2, which is just a stupendously fast car.
00:30:40.000 And he was driving it during the day, but it was too hot, because it's turbocharged, and it just didn't really have the juice.
00:30:45.000 The heat soak was getting crazy.
00:30:47.000 Yeah.
00:30:47.000 So, he took it.
00:30:49.000 I mean, it was pretty fast, I'm sure, still.
00:30:51.000 Oh, yeah.
00:30:52.000 But not fast enough.
00:30:53.000 And that's like his, you know, that's his dream car right there.
00:30:56.000 He's got a 996?
00:30:59.000 Yeah.
00:31:00.000 996 turbo, yeah.
00:31:01.000 He bought it from, somebody had built it up.
00:31:04.000 It had like seven and change horsepower at the wheels.
00:31:08.000 And the guy put a really stiff clutch in there, thought he'd ruin the car.
00:31:11.000 Tanner bought it, drove it home from, I think he got it in Arizona.
00:31:15.000 Changed the clutch, took it, I think it's called BBI is the place.
00:31:17.000 He took it and changed the clutch, did a bunch of little tuning on it.
00:31:21.000 So it's six and change at the wheels now and that sucker is so stupid fast and just absolute screamer.
00:31:28.000 Well look how much better that looks in that disgusting Magnus Walker paint job.
00:31:32.000 That's the same car.
00:31:33.000 You're looking at the same car, but that car looks bitchin'.
00:31:35.000 That's true.
00:31:36.000 It doesn't look like some freak.
00:31:37.000 Carbon makes everything better, though.
00:31:39.000 Well, the carbon fiber hood's pretty wicked.
00:31:41.000 I mean...
00:31:41.000 It's just, it's an amazing car.
00:31:43.000 I had a GT, um, a 1996, rather, turbo, just like his, the same one, the 996 turbo, but mine was a hunk of shit.
00:31:51.000 Mine broke down five times.
00:31:53.000 It almost queered me off of, uh...
00:31:56.000 You allowed to say that?
00:31:57.000 I don't know if that's a...
00:31:58.000 Can you say it like that?
00:31:58.000 I didn't mean gay.
00:31:59.000 You know, like, I was like, ah, these are too weird.
00:32:02.000 They just break too much.
00:32:03.000 I mean queer as an odd.
00:32:04.000 Oh, sure.
00:32:06.000 I wouldn't say queered off.
00:32:07.000 I don't even know why I said that.
00:32:08.000 I don't think I've ever said that before.
00:32:09.000 But, um...
00:32:10.000 It's just butter coffee.
00:32:11.000 It's what it is.
00:32:12.000 It's in my blood.
00:32:13.000 But, um...
00:32:15.000 The car broke down five times, like catastrophic failures, like twice the shift linkage blew, where the clutch, like I go to put in the clutch and I move the gear and there's just nothing.
00:32:24.000 The gear shifter just spinning around in a circle, nothing connected to it.
00:32:27.000 One time it blew at a red light and it stuck in second gear, so I just revved it really high and I pulled out in second gear and I drove to the Porsche dealership in second gear.
00:32:37.000 And that was the second time they fixed it, so I was like, what in the fuck?
00:32:41.000 What's happening here?
00:32:42.000 Then they replaced the engine once.
00:32:44.000 Oh, no.
00:32:44.000 There was something wrong with the engine.
00:32:45.000 They didn't know what the fuck it was.
00:32:46.000 It was making weird noises.
00:32:47.000 They're like, we're going to replace the entire engine.
00:32:50.000 I'm like, okay.
00:32:50.000 Great.
00:32:51.000 Good.
00:32:52.000 Whatever.
00:32:52.000 It's a fucking year-old car.
00:32:53.000 Replace the engine.
00:32:54.000 Burn the whole thing to the ground.
00:32:55.000 And then the gas gauge broke on the highway.
00:32:59.000 I had a half tank of gas, but I did not have a half tank of gas.
00:33:02.000 But she didn't.
00:33:02.000 And in the left lane on the 101 near the Hollywood Bowl, the motherfucker ran out of gas.
00:33:08.000 Oh man, that's the worst.
00:33:10.000 Yeah, it was a gearbox.
00:33:11.000 There you are on the side of the road and everyone knows you.
00:33:14.000 Uh-huh.
00:33:15.000 Well, can I tell you a little secret?
00:33:16.000 I saw a good looking food truck.
00:33:19.000 About two minutes from here.
00:33:20.000 Yeah.
00:33:21.000 We were getting a little lunch beforehand.
00:33:22.000 I was like, oh, let's swing in there.
00:33:23.000 And I caught just enough of the curb with the tire that when the tire came off of it, the noise was so loud that I was like, okay, get back in.
00:33:31.000 Let's go.
00:33:32.000 We can't stop here.
00:33:33.000 I bought a car from Toyota Racing, loaned me a Lexus RCF. Beautiful car.
00:33:38.000 I'm not getting out at that point because then I'm that guy who you just don't need more of that in your life, turns out.
00:33:44.000 Don't be into cars, don't.
00:33:45.000 Especially if they're like, cue that guy from Top Gear!
00:33:48.000 Hey!
00:33:48.000 Hey, you just fucked up that car, man!
00:33:50.000 I saw you hit that curb!
00:33:51.000 What happened?
00:33:52.000 There's nothing you can do about it, man.
00:33:53.000 You can just ride it out.
00:33:54.000 If you drive enough, you're gonna hit a fucking curb every now and again.
00:33:57.000 Here he is in downtown LA, going sideways around these regular streets in that GT2. So sick.
00:34:04.000 In the tunnels.
00:34:05.000 Yeah, people don't appreciate it, like, what it takes to drive like that.
00:34:08.000 They don't.
00:34:09.000 You really have to know when to come in, when to go out, where the turn is, when to hit the gas.
00:34:14.000 There's like so much knowledge and experience that goes into driving a car like that, and the consequences are death.
00:34:21.000 There's not a lot of gray area.
00:34:24.000 Yeah, this isn't a video game you're getting good at.
00:34:26.000 You're driving a fucking 600 horsepower car that weighs a little bit over 3,000 pounds.
00:34:31.000 Have you ever gone and either watched or done any drifting?
00:34:34.000 No.
00:34:35.000 Oh my gosh, you'd love it.
00:34:36.000 I'm sure I would.
00:34:37.000 It's just vehicular shenanigans in one place, right?
00:34:42.000 And that's why, like, I can drift, but my transitions suck, right?
00:34:46.000 Mine feel like I stole a car, whereas Tanner, like, you could hold a cup of coffee and never move it, because he's just so good on my man.
00:34:54.000 Smooth.
00:34:54.000 It's like when they come down to Long Beach or Irwindale, I think Irwindale is going to be a mall now or something.
00:35:01.000 Is it really?
00:35:02.000 Yeah, finally.
00:35:03.000 They fought that for years.
00:35:05.000 But man, watching what those guys in Formula Drift can do is...
00:35:09.000 I mean, it's the stuff we did in parking lots in high school, right?
00:35:11.000 But now it's a sport.
00:35:13.000 And they're so good at it.
00:35:14.000 I did a lot of that in high school because we had snow.
00:35:17.000 Oh, yeah.
00:35:17.000 Our drifting was snow-created.
00:35:19.000 I learned how to drive from driving in snow because when the ass end kicks out, it's like that's the skills you need.
00:35:25.000 It's really the same skills.
00:35:26.000 It's why we pray for snow in the South.
00:35:28.000 I've seen it snow like five times in my life.
00:35:31.000 And I bought some of the cars from Top Gear, so I don't know.
00:35:33.000 We built a 4x4 school bus.
00:35:35.000 It was jacked up on 44s with a snow plow.
00:35:38.000 I don't know if you ever saw it.
00:35:39.000 It had a flamethrower on the roof.
00:35:41.000 Well, I knew they were going to crush it and cut it up because they couldn't really sell it to the public.
00:35:45.000 Right.
00:35:46.000 And I said, let me buy it.
00:35:47.000 I'll take it home.
00:35:48.000 Shipped it home to Georgia.
00:35:49.000 Did you really?
00:35:50.000 So you owned that?
00:35:51.000 Yes.
00:35:52.000 Got it.
00:35:53.000 Tagged.
00:35:54.000 What do you do with it?
00:35:55.000 Taking my daughters to school in it.
00:35:57.000 We're driving around for Halloween.
00:35:59.000 Do you really?
00:36:00.000 It still has a snow plow on the front.
00:36:02.000 And as you can imagine, it snowed once in the last 10 years in Georgia.
00:36:06.000 And we made the news because everybody got on the interstate at the exact same time.
00:36:10.000 So it melts the snow with the fire blaster?
00:36:12.000 Yes.
00:36:13.000 Turns out there was a Celica under there.
00:36:15.000 There was a Toyota Celica under there.
00:36:17.000 Really?
00:36:17.000 Yeah, we left a note.
00:36:18.000 It'll be fine.
00:36:19.000 It was in Maine.
00:36:20.000 That was in Caribou, Maine at the old...
00:36:22.000 The Air Force base that's right there.
00:36:24.000 Okay.
00:36:25.000 And so there's...
00:36:26.000 Canada is just on the other side of that shot.
00:36:29.000 And this is one of those places where...
00:36:31.000 I think they called them Minutemen, where you had to be able to get from, like, where you were sleeping to an airplane in 60 seconds in case, like...
00:36:40.000 Cold War, yes, right.
00:36:42.000 So there's all these tunnels underneath where we were shooting, and we had to have all sorts of clearance to be out there.
00:36:48.000 It was awesome.
00:36:49.000 Whoa!
00:36:50.000 And then I bought the bus.
00:36:52.000 How much did they sell that to you for?
00:36:54.000 I got a very good deal.
00:36:57.000 It cost more to ship at home.
00:36:59.000 It was a lot to ship it, I'm not going to lie.
00:37:01.000 Because you have to put it on a low boy, because no truck that delivers cars can get through.
00:37:06.000 You know, they have like 13 or 14 clearance getting across the country, so when it's already at like 12 feet, you have kind of a problem.
00:37:13.000 Did you think about driving it?
00:37:15.000 For about five seconds.
00:37:17.000 I mean, on 44-inch super swaffers, I can't imagine what the mileage would be.
00:37:22.000 Probably like two.
00:37:23.000 Yeah, two miles per gallon.
00:37:25.000 And there's 197,000 miles on it, and Tanner drove it and didn't kill it.
00:37:30.000 Ooh.
00:37:30.000 It now says the magic school bus on the side.
00:37:32.000 I put a stereo in there.
00:37:34.000 It's really fun, but we gassed it up, got it ready for it to snow in January, and we didn't even get rain at my house.
00:37:41.000 Really?
00:37:41.000 It's so defeating.
00:37:43.000 Oh.
00:37:43.000 But snow, you're right.
00:37:44.000 Dude, snow driving is, I mean, that's just some of the best out there.
00:37:48.000 Parking lots and snow, that's what dreams are made of.
00:37:50.000 Yeah, that's where I learned how to drive in snow in a parking lot.
00:37:53.000 It's just, it's the best.
00:37:55.000 Yeah, because it's so gentle, the way you're going sideways.
00:37:59.000 It's like, it doesn't feel like, when you're going sideways on concrete, it feels very violent.
00:38:03.000 Right.
00:38:04.000 It's like...
00:38:05.000 On paved surfaces, but if you go in the snow, it's like, whoo-hoo!
00:38:10.000 I remember this girlfriend that I had back in Boston.
00:38:13.000 I took the car that I had to a parking lot once, and for like an hour, all we did was gun it, and then I'd slam on the e-brake.
00:38:22.000 I'd turn the wheel and slam on the e-brake, and we'd spin around in circles, and we were just laughing and laughing.
00:38:28.000 It was fun.
00:38:30.000 Nothing happens to the car.
00:38:31.000 The car's fine.
00:38:31.000 That's basically what drifting is.
00:38:33.000 Because you think about the beating your car takes on concrete when you do that.
00:38:37.000 Right.
00:38:37.000 All the friction.
00:38:38.000 And everything that's rubbing, but on snow, you just glide.
00:38:42.000 And there are ice-driving schools.
00:38:44.000 I know.
00:38:44.000 Tanner taught at one in Colorado for years.
00:38:48.000 So again, one of the reasons he's so good at what he does.
00:38:50.000 But it's basically like a little road course they have, and they wait for it to snow, and then they put a little water on it and ice it over, and you take BMWs out there and learn how to handle a car in the ice.
00:39:01.000 Like, what a great idea.
00:39:02.000 It's a great idea, and apparently it really translates.
00:39:05.000 Sure.
00:39:05.000 One of the things, I almost got a motorcycle a long time ago, but I saw a bunch of people crash.
00:39:11.000 I saw two crashes and a friend of mine saw somebody get hit.
00:39:14.000 Some guy who was at a red light and somebody was texting hit this dude and he went flying through the air.
00:39:20.000 And I was like, that's it.
00:39:22.000 Fuck that.
00:39:22.000 And my two friends that got hurt, they got hurt pretty bad.
00:39:25.000 But...
00:39:26.000 I was thinking about getting one and my friend said, who rode all his life, he said, get a dirt bike.
00:39:32.000 He said, get a dirt bike and learn how to drive in the dirt.
00:39:34.000 Because when you have that loose surface, you get used to the ass end kicking out on you and it becomes normal.
00:39:41.000 It becomes natural.
00:39:42.000 You won't panic.
00:39:43.000 So I think it's the same thing with snow and ice.
00:39:45.000 Totally.
00:39:46.000 It probably directly translates, driving on the ice.
00:39:49.000 I think so.
00:39:50.000 Because, again, it's all of that, you know, it's that overseer, all of those things that you would feel in a smooth, safe environment.
00:39:56.000 You would feel there.
00:39:59.000 Are these guys drifting?
00:40:00.000 Yeah, that's...
00:40:01.000 God, look how close they are to each other.
00:40:03.000 It's Turk up front, Freddy Osbo's in the back.
00:40:06.000 You know who these people are?
00:40:07.000 Yeah, dude, I love this stuff.
00:40:08.000 This is my MMA right here for the record.
00:40:10.000 That's hilarious!
00:40:11.000 So he lives up in New Hampshire.
00:40:13.000 Freddy's from Sweden, I think.
00:40:15.000 But both of those cars, so those start out, Frederick Osbo, that's a front-wheel drive Scion TC converted to rear-wheel drive.
00:40:22.000 It's got a turbo four-cylinder in there.
00:40:24.000 Turk's car has a turbo Supra Swap in it.
00:40:28.000 Gigantic turbo.
00:40:29.000 It's a FRS. So you take this really seriously.
00:40:32.000 I just love it.
00:40:33.000 It's just the most fun you can have in a car.
00:40:35.000 But it's just going sideways.
00:40:37.000 It's basically, these guys, what they do is they have these clipping points, right?
00:40:40.000 And they try to get as close to the clipping point as they can.
00:40:42.000 It has to do with their speed of entry, the angle of the car, right?
00:40:47.000 And they've got this huge e-brake that they've got...
00:40:50.000 The brakes are as big for the rear wheels as they are for the front because they've got to clutch kick it and pull the e-brake.
00:40:56.000 So they're pulling it on the lever.
00:40:57.000 Right.
00:40:57.000 Like that Ken Block Mustang video, which is amazing, that four-wheel drive Mustang video.
00:41:03.000 What do they call that?
00:41:03.000 Hoonigan.
00:41:04.000 Yes.
00:41:04.000 Love the Hoonigan guys, but they have a funny name for that.
00:41:07.000 The Hoonicorn.
00:41:09.000 Yes, that Mustang is such a bad mammer jammer, but what those guys do in that amount of precision...
00:41:16.000 There it is right there.
00:41:16.000 Look at that fucking thing.
00:41:18.000 That's that car.
00:41:19.000 And so the e-brake is a big part of being able to do that, huh?
00:41:22.000 Right.
00:41:22.000 The way they bring the car around.
00:41:24.000 So especially in drifting, those guys have to get as close to each other as they can while still keeping the line, trying to get as close to these different clipping points as they can.
00:41:33.000 So he's slamming on the e-brake to make these turns.
00:41:36.000 And the way these guys have to use the clutch at the same time they're using the e-brake to get it to slide without killing everything, and then they get back on it.
00:41:46.000 A guy like Vaughn Gettin Jr. who drifts a Mustang, he is full throttle the whole time and modulates just with the clutch.
00:41:54.000 And that's like next level stuff that I can't, I can only do 11 things at one time.
00:41:58.000 I can't add a 12th.
00:41:59.000 So when watching him go out there, Tanner has a, Tanner took a VW Passat, converted it to rear wheel drive and used a LS7 from a Z06. No, it's basically like the Chevy Copo Camaro engine.
00:42:12.000 That's a 600 horsepower engine, right?
00:42:13.000 Uh-huh, and then they tune it.
00:42:14.000 He's got nine.
00:42:15.000 Oh my God.
00:42:16.000 He's got nine to the wheels out of Tanner's new car.
00:42:18.000 Fuck!
00:42:18.000 Wait a minute, nine to the wheels and what kind of car is it?
00:42:20.000 It looks like a Volkswagen Passat.
00:42:23.000 So, on the outside, it's a fucking shitty Volkswagen commuter car, and the inside, it has 900 horsepower to the wheels.
00:42:31.000 Yes.
00:42:32.000 That's insane.
00:42:33.000 It's badass.
00:42:34.000 That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in my life.
00:42:37.000 I just wish Volkswagen would build something like a little bit like that.
00:42:40.000 It would make them much cooler.
00:42:42.000 Now, let me ask you this, because Mustang people are so weird, that Ken Block video.
00:42:46.000 Right.
00:42:47.000 What did they think about that car?
00:42:48.000 Because he took, was it a 65?
00:42:50.000 Yeah, I think it's a 65 or 66. And they basically had to stretch it and make it kind of fit.
00:42:55.000 And they turned it into a four-wheel drive.
00:42:57.000 Right.
00:42:57.000 Did everybody freak out?
00:42:59.000 They lose their fucking minds?
00:43:00.000 I think, I mean, that car made the cover of Hot Rod magazine, so it transcended, like...
00:43:06.000 People like me that love import cars and high horsepower, it was like, no, I'm just going to trump everyone with this ridiculous car.
00:43:13.000 So I think that's one of those ones that Ken also can kind of get away with stuff like that because...
00:43:18.000 He's Ken Block.
00:43:19.000 He's Ken Block, and he kind of just, like, you have to dig that he can do what he wants to do because he made it work.
00:43:25.000 But yeah, that's Tanner's facade.
00:43:27.000 What a ridiculous human being.
00:43:29.000 Right?
00:43:31.000 900 horsepower V8 Volkswagen Passat.
00:43:35.000 It's an LSM. So he's racing in Daytona this week, and he does that Global Rallycross series, which is a lot of fun.
00:43:44.000 It's basically him and Ken Block and about 10 other people wrecking the crap out of each other.
00:43:50.000 There's not a single person out there that knows how to pass besides Tanner.
00:43:54.000 It's really fun to watch, but it's just...
00:43:58.000 It's insanity.
00:43:59.000 These cars are so...
00:44:00.000 I just don't understand why.
00:44:02.000 Like, why would you do that to an ugly car?
00:44:04.000 Like, I mean, why wouldn't he do that to a car that's like a really cool car?
00:44:08.000 Like, why do that to a Passat?
00:44:10.000 Because he's sponsored by Volkswagen.
00:44:12.000 Oh, okay.
00:44:13.000 Okay.
00:44:13.000 So he races their stuff in GRC and then did some World Rallycross stuff with them.
00:44:18.000 But the coolest part is that he convinced them to let him do it.
00:44:21.000 Like, that's what I love.
00:44:22.000 Yeah.
00:44:22.000 So I have a Scion XB at home, like the little boxy one, that the same people that built that car, Papadakis Racing, built this one.
00:44:30.000 And my buddy Johan used to own it.
00:44:32.000 It's converted to rear-wheel drive.
00:44:34.000 The back of the car thinks it's a Mark IV Supra, like complete subframe, just like Tanner's car.
00:44:39.000 And then it has a 2JZ Supra swap in there with a six-speed.
00:44:43.000 And Yo had a line lock put in.
00:44:45.000 If you look up DTA XB, you would find it.
00:44:51.000 Papadakis Racing?
00:44:52.000 Yeah, Stefan Papadakis.
00:44:53.000 What a great name, by the way.
00:44:54.000 Super guy.
00:44:56.000 Coolest nerd you'll ever meet.
00:44:57.000 He's like the doctor.
00:45:00.000 He's like the mad scientist up there.
00:45:02.000 But this XB has a line lock, so you can step on the brakes and hold the button, and it holds the front brakes, right?
00:45:08.000 So then you rev it up, drop the clutch, and it's a smoke show.
00:45:12.000 Out of a Scion that looks like a front-wheel drive car.
00:45:15.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
00:45:17.000 That is so hilarious.
00:45:18.000 There's some really fun stuff out there, man.
00:45:19.000 If you make it to Atlanta, you gotta come drive it.
00:45:22.000 It's really fun.
00:45:23.000 I get it, but the cars are ugly.
00:45:25.000 That's what I don't understand.
00:45:27.000 Taking these ugly cars and turn them into these amazing driving vehicles.
00:45:32.000 Like, wouldn't you want to invest that same amount of energy into something that looks great?
00:45:37.000 Well, that's a fair point, Joe.
00:45:39.000 I hadn't really thought about it.
00:45:41.000 I mean, for me, when I saw this car in Super Street, I was like, oh, well, that's it.
00:45:47.000 Because for me, I've got three daughters, right?
00:45:49.000 So I can't have a 911 because that's a date night car.
00:45:53.000 Right.
00:45:54.000 Beyond that, I can't afford one.
00:45:56.000 But let's pretend for a second I can afford a 911. I still can't have one because I just don't need...
00:46:00.000 Just a car for me and my wife.
00:46:02.000 I want my girls to be able to come with me.
00:46:04.000 So that Scion, they can ride with me.
00:46:06.000 I can have three car seats in there.
00:46:07.000 Oh, God.
00:46:08.000 And go a thousand miles an hour.
00:46:10.000 They're a tiny bit embarrassed by it because it sounds great.
00:46:15.000 It had Magnaflow do a nice custom exhaust when it was here.
00:46:17.000 It's got a great growl to it.
00:46:19.000 But when the boost starts to build, it's got this huge single turbo.
00:46:22.000 I mean, it'll pin you back.
00:46:24.000 I think it's like 425 to the rear wheels.
00:46:27.000 And a car is very light, right?
00:46:29.000 Maybe 3,000 pounds.
00:46:30.000 Maybe, right?
00:46:31.000 They cut a lot of stuff out to put that swap in.
00:46:33.000 Including anything safety-wise.
00:46:35.000 Well, the best part is...
00:46:36.000 That's a fucking bread...
00:46:36.000 That's a lunchbox.
00:46:37.000 Yeah.
00:46:38.000 You drive around in a lunchbox with wheels.
00:46:41.000 But it's got air conditioning, because I wanted my wife to ride in it with me.
00:46:45.000 So when I bought it out here, I took it to my friends at TRD, and I told the guy Chuck, I said, can you see, like, it looks like there's a vintage AC. Vintage Air is this company that makes, like, old hot rod kits, right?
00:46:55.000 So there was a control panel for a vintage air thing in there, and I said, can you check and see, like, if we could make it and have air conditioning?
00:47:01.000 He looked, he's like, yeah, I'm just going to bolt up a Supra AC compressor and charge it.
00:47:05.000 You'll be fine.
00:47:08.000 Wow.
00:47:08.000 425 horsepower in a thing that looks like insane.
00:47:11.000 Well, companies like Vintage Air are so important because they made those old hot rods livable.
00:47:16.000 Right.
00:47:16.000 Because if you drove in one of those old hot rods, most of them didn't have any AC, and if they did, it was a joke.
00:47:21.000 Yeah, it was not.
00:47:22.000 It was like the swamp cooler of what you put underneath.
00:47:25.000 But my wife will actually ride in stuff with me.
00:47:28.000 That makes a big difference, as you know.
00:47:30.000 I understand.
00:47:30.000 I do understand.
00:47:31.000 That definitely makes a big difference.
00:47:33.000 What were you doing before you were hosting Top Gear?
00:47:36.000 So they found me.
00:47:38.000 They found you.
00:47:39.000 Is it like in the woods?
00:47:40.000 I was a, you know, when a man and a woman, when they find each other.
00:47:45.000 They found me, believe it or not, from YouTube, from a clip that somebody had loaded up, that I was traveling with the Speed Channel.
00:47:52.000 I started with them in 05 from a Craigslist ad.
00:47:57.000 Love Craigslist.
00:47:57.000 Really?
00:47:58.000 I'm the number one Craigslist fan.
00:48:01.000 I found this ad on there that this national motorsports company was looking for a marketing guy that could be an emcee, and so I sent all my stuff in, and it was one of those terrible interviews, I'm not going to get this job, and then two weeks later, they're like, hey, go down to Daytona, so you got the gig.
00:48:15.000 So I go down to Daytona, and I, like, kind of knew a little bit about NASCAR. You know, I knew Petty and Wallace, Earnhardt, but I didn't know much else besides that.
00:48:24.000 Went to school for marketing, so all of a sudden I want to be around cars.
00:48:27.000 That was always my plan.
00:48:29.000 So I started as a, like, DJ for this big speed stage that would go to all the races.
00:48:33.000 So I was out here at Fontana twice a year.
00:48:35.000 I was at all the other races.
00:48:37.000 And I kept begging them to let me do something on TV, and they finally let me a year later.
00:48:42.000 And then, I think a year after that, 07, John Schneider from the Dukes of Hazzard came to Atlanta Motor Speedway to be the Grand Marshal.
00:48:51.000 And they said, hey, would you do this little piece with this guy?
00:48:54.000 He does kind of lighter side of racing.
00:48:56.000 You guys do something.
00:48:57.000 We found a General Lee to borrow, and we shot this whole piece riding around in the General Lee.
00:49:01.000 And the whole time, I refused to call him John.
00:49:03.000 I would only refer to him as Bo.
00:49:06.000 Yeah.
00:49:06.000 And I kept being like, so, Bo, Daisy's not your real cousin.
00:49:12.000 Right?
00:49:13.000 He's like, no, that's an actress, Catherine Bach.
00:49:15.000 But so, like, if she was not your real cousin, like, you guys ever, you know, go to dinner or see a movie or...
00:49:24.000 And so he starts, and he's like, yeah, we're good friends.
00:49:27.000 Really enjoyed it.
00:49:27.000 And so a race fan, who I don't know who, loaded that clip onto YouTube illegally.
00:49:34.000 This guy, John Hessling, who's our executive producer, saw it in...
00:49:38.000 I don't know if he was here or still in the UK at that point.
00:49:40.000 And he was like, this kid might be funny.
00:49:42.000 He was looking at everybody that had been on TV for Cars in like the last 10 years.
00:49:46.000 And so the craziest part about my life is that this person who I don't know...
00:49:51.000 Who loaded this video up is the person that I feel like is the reason I got Top Gear.
00:49:55.000 Did you ever find that person?
00:49:56.000 No, I don't know who it is because the video got kicked off because it was copywritten.
00:50:00.000 Well, I guarantee you that person is going to find out that they got you that gig.
00:50:04.000 I hope so.
00:50:05.000 Somehow through the grapevine.
00:50:07.000 I want to take them to a race.
00:50:08.000 I want to do something.
00:50:10.000 I didn't have an agent.
00:50:11.000 I was in the phone book.
00:50:12.000 I was just a kid trying to hustle and trying to figure out how I'm going to make this TV thing work.
00:50:17.000 That's a great story.
00:50:18.000 Thanks, man.
00:50:18.000 That's amazing.
00:50:19.000 I love Craigslist.
00:50:20.000 Yeah, I guess you should.
00:50:22.000 That's amazing.
00:50:23.000 I mean, it's a little...
00:50:23.000 Craigslist is like a little bit filthy.
00:50:25.000 They get a little dirty, but that's what human beings are all about, really.
00:50:29.000 Everything's got a little bit of turds on it on Craigslist.
00:50:32.000 A little bit of poop.
00:50:33.000 There's a little bit of...
00:50:34.000 Yeah, well, there's a lot of weird, you know, men seeking, women seeking men, seeking women seeking that.
00:50:41.000 If you're...
00:50:42.000 I'll be honest, that...
00:50:43.000 What is it?
00:50:43.000 Um...
00:50:44.000 Missed Connections.
00:50:45.000 What's that?
00:50:46.000 That is this section of Craigslist where it's like, hey, saw you in the coffee shop.
00:50:51.000 You ordered the latte.
00:50:52.000 No way.
00:50:52.000 I had the muffin.
00:50:53.000 That's some of the best reading.
00:50:55.000 If you're bored or if you're a person that reads a lot when you're taking a dump, that is joy.
00:51:01.000 It's like people who've seen too many Tom Hanks movies and believe that they just missed out on the one.
00:51:07.000 They saw her order that pumpkin spice latte.
00:51:10.000 I love pumpkin spice lattes.
00:51:12.000 I knew it was her, and I just, I didn't have the courage, but now I do, and I need to find her!
00:51:17.000 I need to find her.
00:51:18.000 Honestly, you're going to have to look at these, because some of them are so, we forget, because you probably don't spend time with, like, my friends are just pretty normal people.
00:51:26.000 I don't spend time with people that are genuinely just out of their mind crazy, and that's an entire section for those people.
00:51:33.000 We had a guy like that on Fear Factor once.
00:51:35.000 He met a girl, I believe it was at a concert, and spoke to her briefly and wanted to win Fear Factor because he knew that she was the one and he needed to find her again.
00:51:51.000 Some insane amount of time and money going around the city and where he met her putting up flyers.
00:51:57.000 And so he put up all these flyers and all these people that contacted him that weren't that girl, you know, that were fucking with him.
00:52:03.000 And he was like super determined, but he had done it for like a couple of years.
00:52:08.000 And they thought it was funny when we first talked about having this guy on the show, like he's got a great story, you gotta hear the story.
00:52:14.000 So I heard the story, I go, dude, imagine if that was your fucking sister.
00:52:18.000 Imagine if that was your daughter.
00:52:19.000 Imagine if that was your girlfriend.
00:52:21.000 That's not a great story.
00:52:22.000 Right.
00:52:22.000 I go, that guy's a fucking maniac.
00:52:24.000 He's nuts.
00:52:25.000 And, you know, who knows, like, where he's going to take it.
00:52:28.000 Right.
00:52:28.000 You know, who knows if he's murder-suicidal, you know, it's...
00:52:31.000 And what if she just...
00:52:32.000 What if he said to her, like, hey, can I get a napkin?
00:52:34.000 Sure.
00:52:35.000 What if that was the entire conversation?
00:52:37.000 Well, it was a very brief conversation.
00:52:39.000 I forget the nature of the conversation, but it was extremely brief.
00:52:41.000 But I remember being really creeped out by him.
00:52:44.000 Really creeped out, like, when we had him on the show, because I... There was a lot of decision-making that went into getting on those shows that I didn't agree with.
00:52:53.000 A lot of people made it onto the show where I was like, fucking really?
00:52:56.000 You want to put this guy on TV? Are you out of your mind?
00:52:59.000 He's a crazy person.
00:53:00.000 There was a guy that I almost got into a fistfight with.
00:53:03.000 I had to restrain him.
00:53:05.000 And it was the same thing.
00:53:06.000 It was a guy who beat his girlfriend up on one TV show.
00:53:10.000 He threw her to the ground on a TV show and attacked some fucking guy on VH1. And then got in my face, and I was like, Jesus fucking Christ.
00:53:17.000 And I said to them, like, why are you putting these crazy fucks that you know are crazy fucks on TV? Like, do you understand that this is, like, irresponsible?
00:53:25.000 This is not a smart thing to do.
00:53:26.000 What did the producers say to that?
00:53:29.000 Um, they didn't give a fuck.
00:53:30.000 Yeah, right?
00:53:31.000 They're trying to make money, and the way to make money is to have crazy people on TV. That's it.
00:53:35.000 You know, and my point of view was like, I had to host it, you know, and these people were kind of dangerous, and, you know, you're on rooftops with them and shit in downtown LA. It's, oh, it's 30 fucking stories up.
00:53:47.000 Right.
00:53:47.000 There's a lot of weird shit that could happen on those rooftops You know someone could push somebody somebody could jump and we had some like really nutty fucks that made it on that show but that guy that got the guy almost got in a fight with and that guy that was Trying to find that girl those they stood out like Jesus Christ because I looked in his eyes While I was talking to him,
00:54:08.000 and there was nobody there.
00:54:10.000 Right.
00:54:10.000 It was just this mist of consciousness.
00:54:13.000 He was like a child in a man's body who thought he was in a movie and thought, you know, that he's just gonna keep going until he finds the right...
00:54:21.000 And as the show went on, you know, a couple days in, hanging out with this guy, you get deeper and deeper into who he really is, and he's creepier and creepier.
00:54:28.000 Right.
00:54:29.000 And weirder and weirder.
00:54:30.000 And then even the producers, by the third day, was like, we made a mistake.
00:54:33.000 We shouldn't have this guy on the show.
00:54:35.000 We're like, we only hope he never finds that girl, you know?
00:54:41.000 Can I ask, because I was such a big fan, what was news radio like?
00:54:45.000 Because when I watched that show and saw, I mean, what an amazing group of people you got to work with.
00:54:51.000 Like, that...
00:54:52.000 When you look back on that time, how does that rank?
00:54:56.000 Because you've done some really cool stuff, turns out.
00:54:58.000 Well, for sure, it fucked me up.
00:55:01.000 It queered me off of sitcoms forever.
00:55:04.000 Really?
00:55:05.000 Yeah.
00:55:05.000 I'd never do another sitcom, because it would never be that good.
00:55:08.000 Sure.
00:55:08.000 Because it was just so lucky.
00:55:11.000 And I had gotten to do a show before that for Fox that was terrible.
00:55:16.000 It was called Hardball.
00:55:17.000 It was a baseball sitcom.
00:55:19.000 Okay.
00:55:19.000 And it wasn't horrible because of the creators.
00:55:21.000 It was one of those situations where really funny guys who wrote with Married With Children, they wrote for The Simpsons, they created a show, and then the show became, once it went on television, they took it away from them, and then they brought in some hacks, and it just became, it was gross.
00:55:36.000 So that got canceled really quick.
00:55:37.000 So I went from that to news radio, which was the total opposite.
00:55:41.000 Sure.
00:55:41.000 The guy running the show is a genius.
00:55:42.000 The writers were fantastic.
00:55:44.000 The scripts were insanely funny and the people were so talented.
00:55:48.000 And I had no acting experience.
00:55:50.000 I had taken a few acting lessons because they forced me into taking it when they gave me this big development deal.
00:55:55.000 No way.
00:55:56.000 It was all based on stand-up.
00:55:57.000 And all of a sudden I'm out in Hollywood and I'm totally feel like a fraud.
00:56:01.000 I totally feel like I don't belong.
00:56:02.000 And I'm on the greatest sitcom of all time.
00:56:04.000 Yeah.
00:56:05.000 It was madness.
00:56:06.000 But one of the greatest things about it was that it never got any recognition.
00:56:10.000 So no one ever got a big head because no one ever got famous from it.
00:56:14.000 We barely survived every year.
00:56:16.000 And the one year that I thought that we weren't going to get canceled was the year we got canceled.
00:56:21.000 Because I was like, well, they didn't cancel us after Phil Hartman got murdered.
00:56:25.000 Right.
00:56:25.000 We're probably not going to get canceled.
00:56:27.000 Right.
00:56:27.000 But then it just didn't work.
00:56:29.000 It just didn't work with John Lovitz.
00:56:31.000 It's not that Lovitz isn't funny.
00:56:33.000 It was fucked.
00:56:35.000 Right.
00:56:36.000 He was dead.
00:56:37.000 The whole thing was just...
00:56:39.000 Even though Andy Dick was still on the show, and Vicki Lewis, and Maura Tierney was still amazing, and Dave Foley was still...
00:56:46.000 It was like having Phil dead was always going to be a part of what was wrong.
00:56:52.000 It just didn't work.
00:56:54.000 It was just...
00:56:54.000 And that time was such a...
00:56:56.000 You know, it was...
00:56:59.000 It was a really interesting landscape for TV because there weren't a ton.
00:57:02.000 There's also like, if we look back at that time, I don't remember a lot of other shows that I really liked and could sit there because it was such a good ensemble of so many people that brought different things.
00:57:12.000 Whereas normally there's like, there's alpha male and then there's two other sort of people.
00:57:16.000 That was a fantastic mix of people.
00:57:19.000 It was a weirdo group.
00:57:21.000 It was a very weirdo group.
00:57:22.000 None of us, we were all outliers.
00:57:25.000 We were all weirdos.
00:57:26.000 Even Phil was a weirdo.
00:57:28.000 Dave Foley is as weird as it gets.
00:57:30.000 Andy Dick's the weirdest human that's ever walked the face of the planet.
00:57:33.000 I was weird.
00:57:34.000 I didn't belong.
00:57:35.000 No one belonged.
00:57:36.000 We all had some weird bond because of that, though.
00:57:41.000 We all felt like we didn't fit in.
00:57:43.000 Sure.
00:57:43.000 And so, like, when we would do, like, we'd have guest stars that would be, like, real actors.
00:57:47.000 We'd be like, ew!
00:57:49.000 What's this method acting he's doing?
00:57:51.000 We would have guest stars, and they would, like, talk actor talk, like, industry talk.
00:57:55.000 Like, there's a way that actors talk.
00:57:57.000 They pick up this sort of acquired vernacular.
00:58:00.000 And one of the things that I say, when they meet someone, they never say, hey, nice to meet you.
00:58:04.000 Like, you did, and I do normal stuff.
00:58:06.000 They say, good to see you.
00:58:08.000 Because they're hoping that they didn't meet you and forget you, because they don't give a fuck about you.
00:58:12.000 They're concentrating on themselves wholly and exclusively.
00:58:17.000 So to mitigate that, what they do is they say, good to see you.
00:58:21.000 So it becomes this thing that they all say.
00:58:24.000 So when you meet someone and they say, good to see you, and they're an actor, fucking run.
00:58:28.000 Because they've adopted this actor think, and they would read what I would call the devil's rag, like the Hollywood Reporter.
00:58:36.000 They would read that shit and get angry.
00:58:38.000 God, how does he have a show?
00:58:40.000 God, how does she have a show?
00:58:41.000 And that shit would happen when we have guest stars who do that, and we would be like, So it was a weird combination of a bunch of people that were just weirdos.
00:58:51.000 They didn't fit the mold of a standard sitcom.
00:58:56.000 And no one went on to do a sitcom since.
00:58:59.000 None of them.
00:58:59.000 I didn't think about that.
00:59:00.000 You're right, though.
00:59:01.000 No one did.
00:59:02.000 Vicki did one for a little bit.
00:59:04.000 That didn't work out.
00:59:06.000 Steven Root went on to do amazing work in Office Space, and he was fantastic in that fucking HBO... What is that?
00:59:15.000 The HBO documentary...
00:59:18.000 The HBO show...
00:59:20.000 What the fuck is a show with...
00:59:22.000 About liquor, about bootleg liquor sales?
00:59:25.000 Boardwalk Empire?
00:59:26.000 Yeah, Boardwalk Empire.
00:59:27.000 He was amazing in that.
00:59:29.000 I mean, he's just a fucking brilliant actor.
00:59:30.000 He was the one guy that wasn't himself on the show, too.
00:59:34.000 Like, what they would do is they take the wackiest shit about, like, Andy and exaggerate it.
00:59:38.000 The wackiest shit about me and exaggerate it.
00:59:41.000 But Stephen Root, like, if you met him, he's nothing like Jimmy James.
00:59:45.000 Right.
00:59:45.000 Jimmy James is this wacky character that he developed.
00:59:48.000 Yeah.
00:59:49.000 But he's just a brilliant, brilliant actor.
00:59:52.000 You know, just to the bone.
00:59:54.000 I was listening to you one day, and you were talking about the difference, and I'm sorry, I can't remember if it was stand-up that I was watching you, or the podcast, but you were talking about the difference between comedians and actors, and how, essentially, actors have to get up every day and pretend to be someone else.
01:00:09.000 They never really, like, they don't know who they are, whereas comedians, like, know who they are, and that's what they talk about.
01:00:15.000 But even in my limited experience in that town, I'm really lucky.
01:00:19.000 I don't ever have to wake up and wonder who to be.
01:00:21.000 I can't imagine what that's truly like to dive into someone so much that you essentially get paid to lose yourself each time, and then you have to move on and do it again.
01:00:32.000 That's a lot harder, I think, that people know.
01:00:35.000 Well, Steven Brute, who's the one guy who did that on the show, he doesn't have any problems knowing who he is.
01:00:39.000 He's a really nice guy.
01:00:41.000 Super easy to like.
01:00:43.000 You get to know him.
01:00:44.000 He's like very warm and friendly like easygoing guy and he just loves the craft of Creating a character like it's he has the most pure Intention out of any actor person I've ever met like his his love is really of creating You know that Steve Buscemi character that you remember from that movie that you know that Russell Crowe character they like fuck he nailed it,
01:01:08.000 you know like that He just loves nailing a character.
01:01:11.000 I mean that's He's just a master actor.
01:01:14.000 He's just a master at that.
01:01:15.000 And there's a difference between those people and the people that just want to be famous, and they want to be famous as an actor.
01:01:22.000 So there's a lot of weirdness in that craft.
01:01:25.000 There's a giant percentage of the people that want to do it are massively damaged people.
01:01:31.000 Sure.
01:01:32.000 Which is why they feel like they should be famous.
01:01:34.000 Right.
01:01:35.000 It's like they got fucked over when they were children or when they were, you know, adolescents or whatever the fuck happened to them that led them to have this insatiable desire to be thought of as special.
01:01:45.000 And once they get it, that's when they become maniacs.
01:01:48.000 Right.
01:01:48.000 Like, everybody's heard the story of the person who's got their own sitcom, and then they become maniacs.
01:01:53.000 Sure.
01:01:53.000 I mean, I've met them, I've seen them, you know, I've talked to them.
01:01:57.000 I had Roseanne on, and she was telling me about how fucking crazy she went when she got a sitcom.
01:02:02.000 You know, she was like, I was fucking crazy, completely crazy.
01:02:05.000 Like, she would tell you.
01:02:07.000 And she was a great stand-up comic, in my opinion, like, one of the top ten greatest of all time.
01:02:12.000 Like, Roseanne's in my, as far as, like, revolutionary, influential stand-ups, I think, for...
01:02:18.000 For her time.
01:02:19.000 Like, she's a top ten.
01:02:20.000 Sure.
01:02:21.000 And she went crazy.
01:02:23.000 They all go crazy.
01:02:24.000 And she seems totally chill now.
01:02:26.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:02:27.000 And I don't know if that's just perspective over time or what, but...
01:02:30.000 I think it's that.
01:02:31.000 She got rid of Tom Arnold.
01:02:32.000 That helped.
01:02:33.000 That poor guy.
01:02:35.000 He is crazy.
01:02:37.000 Fuck him.
01:02:37.000 Every side of him, right?
01:02:38.000 You know why he married her.
01:02:40.000 Get the fuck out of here.
01:02:40.000 I don't mean that.
01:02:41.000 That's ridiculous.
01:02:42.000 I just mean, like, I feel like that's one of those guys, if you watched, like, 12 hours of just his life, you'd be like, shit.
01:02:48.000 Yeah.
01:02:49.000 That dude's crazy.
01:02:50.000 I met him.
01:02:52.000 I did that Best Damn Sports show when he was on.
01:02:53.000 He's a nice guy.
01:02:54.000 Yeah.
01:02:55.000 But, you know, he took his shot.
01:02:56.000 He had to do what he had to do.
01:02:58.000 Married Roseanne.
01:02:59.000 Did what he had to do.
01:03:00.000 And then it didn't work out.
01:03:02.000 It's weird, man.
01:03:03.000 Some days my wife will be like, hey, can we hang this painting?
01:03:07.000 And I'm like, uh...
01:03:08.000 Probably.
01:03:10.000 Like...
01:03:12.000 Man, are the kids going to bed early?
01:03:14.000 It's a different negotiation, I think, when you're married.
01:03:16.000 But his was like, you might have to marry Roseanne Barr to have a career.
01:03:21.000 Right.
01:03:21.000 That's just, I'm saying she's lovely.
01:03:24.000 That's just a different kind of negotiation for the record.
01:03:27.000 Yeah, he sold his soul.
01:03:29.000 I know what you're saying.
01:03:30.000 Thank you.
01:03:30.000 He did, yeah.
01:03:31.000 I didn't want to say that.
01:03:33.000 You will trade sex for hanging up the painting.
01:03:36.000 Sure.
01:03:37.000 You'll make a deal.
01:03:38.000 Or just housework.
01:03:38.000 Just what you gotta do.
01:03:39.000 I get it.
01:03:40.000 I get it.
01:03:40.000 That's a good move.
01:03:42.000 But that's like everybody wins.
01:03:44.000 It's like nobody got hurt there.
01:03:45.000 You marry someone you love.
01:03:46.000 Everybody's happy.
01:03:47.000 He sold a soul.
01:03:48.000 But he got out of it.
01:03:50.000 He's alive.
01:03:51.000 Do you get a refund on your soul?
01:03:52.000 Like, what do you think happens at that point?
01:03:54.000 Or do you feel like once it's gone?
01:03:55.000 You will always be Mrs. Roseanne, Tom Arnold.
01:03:58.000 The devil, he has a very fucking steep price that he puts on everything.
01:04:03.000 It's a big, big number out here, man.
01:04:05.000 I mean, she's a super talented woman, but she was 300 pounds, and, you know, he did what he had to do.
01:04:11.000 What do you think...
01:04:12.000 What was her husband on that show?
01:04:14.000 John...
01:04:15.000 John Goodman?
01:04:15.000 Yeah.
01:04:16.000 Amazing.
01:04:17.000 One of those guys that I watch, and I just...
01:04:19.000 I can't...
01:04:20.000 From Big Dan Teague in Oh Brother Where Art Thou, to just anything he does, he's one of those people I watch and go...
01:04:27.000 How about the Big Lebowski?
01:04:29.000 Right?
01:04:29.000 That fucking character from the Big Lebowski that wasn't even Jewish.
01:04:31.000 You're not even Jewish, man!
01:04:33.000 Shobo [...
01:04:49.000 Am I the only one who gives a shit about the rules?
01:04:52.000 What a great...
01:04:53.000 What a fucking character.
01:04:55.000 Look at there he is!
01:04:57.000 Just...
01:04:58.000 Oh, I love him.
01:05:00.000 Just tremendous.
01:05:00.000 He's amazing, man.
01:05:01.000 I can get you towed by 3 o'clock with nail polish.
01:05:03.000 Like, what?
01:05:04.000 How do you channel?
01:05:05.000 I'm finishing my coffee.
01:05:06.000 It was just conviction of that being that crazy.
01:05:11.000 Well, I mean, he just created a...
01:05:12.000 Well, first of all, Coen Brothers movies are my all-time favorite movies.
01:05:15.000 Amazing.
01:05:16.000 Like, when I saw Donald Trump was running for president the other day, I said, we live in a Coen Brothers movie.
01:05:21.000 It's official.
01:05:21.000 Seriously?
01:05:22.000 His fucking slob, this goofy slob is going to run his ego just pouring out of his ears.
01:05:28.000 Have you ever met him?
01:05:29.000 No.
01:05:29.000 Weird dude.
01:05:30.000 I'm sure.
01:05:31.000 We met him, we did something on Top Gear where we were trying to convince him to pick one of these cars that we had each picked for this celebrity and we found out halfway through it was for Donald Trump.
01:05:40.000 And he basically was like, this guy looks gay.
01:05:44.000 He's looking at Tanner.
01:05:45.000 He's like, I think this car, you look gay, so the car is probably for a gay person.
01:05:51.000 And whatever Tanner, I don't remember what kind of car he had picked, but Tanner's like, what?
01:05:55.000 Did you tell Donald Trump to make fun of me?
01:05:57.000 That I look like I'm a...
01:05:58.000 That's just what he does?
01:06:00.000 He just went for it, and then he was like, Adam, I'll take yours.
01:06:04.000 Was he trying to be funny?
01:06:05.000 I think he was, but he's one of those people that I don't think he can hear other people.
01:06:10.000 I think maybe he can read lips a tiny bit, but he walks into the room, and all you do is you look at his hair, man.
01:06:16.000 You can't...
01:06:17.000 There is nothing...
01:06:18.000 An asteroid could have hit the Earth next door, and you'd still be like, man...
01:06:24.000 What's going on up there?
01:06:25.000 How do you do that?
01:06:26.000 Like, how do you get up every day and you say, yeah, this is the look?
01:06:30.000 Well, you know what weirds me out?
01:06:32.000 Here's you and him.
01:06:33.000 What weirds me out is it's not like he's going bald.
01:06:36.000 Is he?
01:06:37.000 I don't think so.
01:06:38.000 I think he just moves it around in some weird way, or doesn't want to cut it, or it's his signature look.
01:06:45.000 But it seems like there's too much hair up there for him to be going bald.
01:06:49.000 It's just...
01:06:50.000 Well, you've been there in real life, so what...
01:06:52.000 You can't see through it.
01:06:54.000 Do you remember the hair spray that looked like hair follicles?
01:06:57.000 Yes.
01:06:57.000 I don't know if it's like, that's in there.
01:07:00.000 It's not a rug.
01:07:02.000 It's...
01:07:03.000 It's not a good look.
01:07:04.000 It's just...
01:07:05.000 God, you can't take your eyes off of it.
01:07:07.000 I just don't understand.
01:07:08.000 I mean, he can't think it looks good.
01:07:11.000 Dude's kind of weird because New York doesn't actually like him that much.
01:07:14.000 Nobody likes him.
01:07:15.000 Right?
01:07:16.000 How could you like him?
01:07:16.000 He's a dick.
01:07:17.000 He puts his face on everything.
01:07:19.000 But he's so aggressive with his dickiness.
01:07:22.000 I remember he had this feud with...
01:07:23.000 What the fuck's her name?
01:07:27.000 Who was it with?
01:07:28.000 God damn it.
01:07:30.000 Oh, with Rosie O'Donnell.
01:07:31.000 That's who it was.
01:07:32.000 Yes.
01:07:32.000 He had this feud with Rosie O'Donnell, and he was on, you know, TV. He's like, well, Rosie's a loser.
01:07:36.000 Basically, she's a loser.
01:07:37.000 Right.
01:07:38.000 Okay.
01:07:39.000 Let's think about who's listening to this.
01:07:42.000 You're talking about a multi-millionaire, movie star, world-famous comedian.
01:07:47.000 Right.
01:07:48.000 And you're talking, and a camera's on you, and it's broadcasting to the rest of the world, and you're saying this multi-millionaire, world-famous comedian is, in fact, a loser.
01:07:58.000 Well, what are we?
01:07:59.000 Right.
01:07:59.000 What the fuck am I? What am I if she's a loser?
01:08:02.000 What standards do you have?
01:08:04.000 How do you feel about yourself?
01:08:05.000 Right.
01:08:06.000 This is just nonsense.
01:08:08.000 That guy needs mushrooms in his life in a bad way.
01:08:11.000 There you go.
01:08:12.000 He needs to get in a tent in the middle of the desert and eat a fucking giant bag of mushrooms and really find out how the rest of the world sees him.
01:08:19.000 Just sweat it out.
01:08:20.000 Ridiculous.
01:08:20.000 I think he needs to go to a Sears and pick out a washer and dryer.
01:08:25.000 A seer.
01:08:25.000 On like a Thursday night.
01:08:26.000 Like I think he may be a normal person.
01:08:27.000 Maybe just feel like what life is kind of like.
01:08:30.000 But like those are the kind of people that I see.
01:08:32.000 And like his wife, Malia?
01:08:35.000 Malaria?
01:08:36.000 Malaria?
01:08:37.000 Something with an M. Whatever her name is.
01:08:39.000 Larium.
01:08:39.000 That's one of those girls that I would look at her and then look at him and think, there's no way you guys have ever had a conversation, right?
01:08:47.000 No, you look at her, you look at him, and you go, do you know who Tom Arnold is?
01:08:51.000 He did what you're doing, but he did it with a woman.
01:08:54.000 Right?
01:08:54.000 I see what you're doing.
01:08:55.000 I get you.
01:08:56.000 It's all right.
01:08:57.000 Hey, look, it's better that than working at Wendy's.
01:09:00.000 If these are your odds, what do you want to do?
01:09:03.000 Suck Donald Trump's dick or get a lot of money?
01:09:05.000 Do you get free Frosties?
01:09:07.000 Jesus Christ, son, you did well.
01:09:09.000 You did well, Donald.
01:09:10.000 I gotta give you that with your wacky hair.
01:09:12.000 If you're into that, it's...
01:09:13.000 If you're into what?
01:09:15.000 Tens?
01:09:15.000 Yeah, who's into that?
01:09:16.000 Who's into hot chicks that keep their mouth shut?
01:09:18.000 I was really thinking for her.
01:09:20.000 Like, if you're really into...
01:09:21.000 Oh, she's not into that.
01:09:22.000 I know.
01:09:23.000 No, but she's probably pilled up.
01:09:25.000 She probably just, like, stays on a steady Oxycontin drip throughout the entire day.
01:09:30.000 Okay.
01:09:30.000 Just stays mellow and weird.
01:09:33.000 Look at that gelatinous facial thing he's got going on, too, where his chin just rolls into his neck.
01:09:40.000 The color is really interesting in that hair, too.
01:09:42.000 I'm telling you, I hope you meet him.
01:09:44.000 You don't think it's real.
01:09:44.000 I hope not necessarily that you meet him, but just that in your life you end up in the same room and just test my theory.
01:09:51.000 Honestly, I couldn't look away.
01:09:52.000 Well, the moment, if I did meet him, the moment he gets dicky, I go, I will grab your fucking hair.
01:09:58.000 I will get my hand in there and I will find out what's going on.
01:10:02.000 So you might want to shut the fuck up.
01:10:06.000 What are you going to do?
01:10:06.000 You going to beat me up?
01:10:07.000 Right.
01:10:08.000 You going to call security?
01:10:08.000 I bet I get your hair before security gets here.
01:10:10.000 I bet I get to your fucking hair, dude.
01:10:12.000 Shh!
01:10:13.000 Don't get dicky with me.
01:10:14.000 Just lean in.
01:10:16.000 I'm going to touch your hair.
01:10:17.000 At the later stages of my life or where I'm at, I don't have any patience for people like that.
01:10:22.000 I just don't have any desire.
01:10:24.000 I get it.
01:10:24.000 You know, that's the reason why he's so successful.
01:10:27.000 You don't get to be a super fucking billionaire real estate mogul who has his name on every building.
01:10:32.000 The Trump Towers!
01:10:33.000 Right.
01:10:34.000 You don't get that unless you have that sort of an attitude, so I guess I understand.
01:10:37.000 Stay there.
01:10:37.000 History put us up there once for the upfronts, and I opened the little mini bar, and his face was on the vodka.
01:10:46.000 For me, I was like, this feels like too much, bro.
01:10:49.000 I feel like you gotta draw a line somewhere.
01:10:52.000 Your face is on the soap.
01:10:54.000 Or you just go for it.
01:10:55.000 Or just go for it.
01:10:56.000 If you just keep going, the further and deeper you go into the crazy ego swimming pool, it becomes warmer water.
01:11:02.000 It gets better.
01:11:04.000 He can be like the Walt Disney of total douchebag real estate vogels.
01:11:10.000 Look at that.
01:11:11.000 Yes, he's on the water.
01:11:12.000 It was...
01:11:13.000 It felt like Disney World.
01:11:14.000 I couldn't escape his face.
01:11:16.000 He's got steaks.
01:11:17.000 Trump's steaks.
01:11:18.000 Look above that, Jamie.
01:11:19.000 I think those are made from manatees.
01:11:24.000 In endangered species, mainly.
01:11:26.000 They're polar bear steaks.
01:11:27.000 Yeah, right?
01:11:29.000 Right when they get sad about the fucking icebergs melting, they shoot them in the fucking head and cut them up, drag them down to New York.
01:11:35.000 Do you think he's ever had a hot dog from a hot dog cart in New York?
01:11:38.000 Yeah, I'm sure he has.
01:11:39.000 I mean, all bullshit aside, he went fairly bankrupt and then built it right back up again.
01:11:48.000 Good for him.
01:11:49.000 I mean, he really did.
01:11:50.000 He hit a point in our lifetime where he, like, basically was worth what we're worth.
01:11:55.000 Right.
01:11:56.000 You know?
01:11:57.000 He went down to, like, almost nothing.
01:11:59.000 And then he just shot right back up to being that guy again.
01:12:02.000 It was like one week where he thought, can I go to the grocery store or do I need to wait a couple days before I go?
01:12:07.000 And then he was like, okay.
01:12:09.000 I'm going to be a millionaire.
01:12:10.000 I think he never stopped being a millionaire, I think, but it got down to like a million.
01:12:16.000 But he might have had a lot of debt, too.
01:12:18.000 I forget what the entire story was, but there was a story that I read in one of those magazines, Esquire in New York or something like that, and they were essentially saying that what he's doing right now is pretending that he's rich, and that if you look at the amount of debt that he had, but...
01:12:33.000 He knew how to get rich.
01:12:35.000 I mean, a guy like that knows what the fuck he's doing.
01:12:37.000 And I always wondered, like, to be a Michael Jordan, don't you have to be kind of crazy, you know, to be that goddamn good at basketball?
01:12:47.000 And to be that fucking deal-making son of a bitch, don't you have to be a real asshole in some ways?
01:12:54.000 I think you have to trade in, like, Okay, look, he claimed his network was $9 billion, we figure it's close to $4 billion, $4.1 billion to be exact.
01:13:02.000 But this is recently now, right?
01:13:05.000 This is yesterday.
01:13:06.000 Yeah, but this is like, look, even if he's worth $4 billion or $9 billion, who gives a fuck?
01:13:11.000 He's a goddamn billionaire.
01:13:13.000 You know, he wasn't a while ago, at one point in time.
01:13:16.000 I want to say, like...
01:13:18.000 Maybe 15 years ago, maybe 20, something like that, he had hit a really bad spot, and there was an issue with him opening up golf courses, like some golf course in Scotland, and this one guy was fighting it.
01:13:33.000 This one guy, he had land that was outside of the golf course, and they wanted to buy him out, and he wouldn't sell, and it became this huge issue where Donald Trump's like, this guy's a loser, he won't sell me his property, and the guy's like, I don't give a fuck about him, this is my house, this is where I live.
01:13:46.000 I got sheep, man.
01:13:48.000 Leave me alone.
01:13:49.000 But it was a fascinating thing.
01:13:51.000 It's like this insane pursuit of just ungodly wealth, and that's what he does.
01:13:59.000 That's his thing, and now he's going to run for president.
01:14:02.000 It's weird, man.
01:14:02.000 I'm all about keeping lights on, but sometimes you watch those people that don't know what...
01:14:07.000 There has to be this good balance of work and hustle and drive and enjoyment.
01:14:12.000 If you're just doing stuff all the time and you can't find anything good out of life, you should probably just check up a little bit.
01:14:21.000 I don't know the dude.
01:14:22.000 Maybe he does find good out of life.
01:14:23.000 They asked me to be on that Celebrity Apprentice thing.
01:14:26.000 I thought about it for a second.
01:14:27.000 Oh, that would have been great, man.
01:14:29.000 I'm not into that, man.
01:14:30.000 I just don't like those shows.
01:14:32.000 I don't like those fake scenarios.
01:14:35.000 I don't like any of that.
01:14:36.000 It just didn't seem appealing to me.
01:14:38.000 And it wasn't a fuckload of money.
01:14:39.000 It wasn't enough money where I was like, hmm.
01:14:41.000 Hmm.
01:14:42.000 But also, I don't enjoy those kind of shows.
01:14:46.000 Does that mean you would dance with the stars, or you wouldn't?
01:14:48.000 No fucking chance.
01:14:49.000 Not a chance in hell.
01:14:51.000 That's hard, by the way.
01:14:52.000 I did a part in that movie Zookeeper, and I had to learn how to dance.
01:14:55.000 Me and Leslie Bibb, we did this dance scene where I had to learn how to dance for fucking weeks.
01:15:02.000 I had to take dance lessons.
01:15:04.000 That's awesome.
01:15:05.000 Fuck this!
01:15:06.000 You know, and they were like, you should totally do Dancing with the Stars.
01:15:08.000 Like, fuck you.
01:15:10.000 I'm not doing it.
01:15:11.000 No.
01:15:11.000 I'm not doing it.
01:15:12.000 No chance.
01:15:13.000 And now it's not even Dancing with the Stars.
01:15:14.000 It's like dancing with the used-to-be stars like a long time ago.
01:15:17.000 Dancing with the internet sensations.
01:15:19.000 Dancing with the people you kind of know who they are.
01:15:21.000 Like, or dancing with the people who someone out there knows.
01:15:25.000 The Bachelor guy was just on there.
01:15:28.000 I don't know.
01:15:29.000 I don't have a nice way.
01:15:31.000 He was from Iowa.
01:15:33.000 Those are the people that I'm proud.
01:15:36.000 Like when I go to the supermarket and I see Us Weekly and I look at the cover.
01:15:39.000 What I love is when I look at the cover, I don't know anybody.
01:15:42.000 I'm like, good, I don't know who the fuck any of these people are.
01:15:44.000 You know?
01:15:45.000 Good.
01:15:45.000 Oh, Dominic is mad at Deborah.
01:15:47.000 Who the fuck is Deborah?
01:15:48.000 Who's Dominic?
01:15:49.000 What are they talking about?
01:15:50.000 Good.
01:15:50.000 I'm glad I don't know.
01:15:51.000 I'm glad I'm out of that cultural loop.
01:15:53.000 It's strange, man.
01:15:54.000 I'm not sure why...
01:15:55.000 I'm sure you think about this all the time.
01:15:57.000 I'm just not sure why people care about...
01:16:00.000 Some of the people that we do...
01:16:03.000 It's not really that we care.
01:16:04.000 It's that they broadcast people.
01:16:06.000 This is what I... I've thought about this long and hard for a long time.
01:16:10.000 When you have something like television, and it's something that is just a natural thing that people come home, they turn it on, and they sit there and they veg out.
01:16:18.000 I have children, too.
01:16:19.000 Sure.
01:16:19.000 And, you know, like, if I want my kids to chill for a second and just, like, sit down, like, if I need to do something, look, daddy has to make a business call, so I'm gonna put on one episode of a show.
01:16:29.000 What show do you want to watch?
01:16:30.000 And then they'll sit down.
01:16:31.000 They fucking zombie out.
01:16:33.000 Right.
01:16:33.000 For that 20 minutes, or 22 minutes, whatever the show's on, their jaws open up and they sit there, I want a drink.
01:16:39.000 Okay, get a drink.
01:16:40.000 Here's your drink.
01:16:40.000 Here's your chip.
01:16:41.000 You want some chips?
01:16:41.000 Yeah.
01:16:41.000 Okay, here's your snack.
01:16:42.000 You want a cheese stick?
01:16:43.000 Okay, I'll be right over here if you need me.
01:16:44.000 And I know they're not going anywhere.
01:16:46.000 Right.
01:16:46.000 But there's something that happens when people watch TV. They just lock in.
01:16:50.000 Well, if you get used to that thing being on, well, you'll watch almost anything.
01:16:55.000 And that's how Keeping Up With The Kardashians is still on the air.
01:16:58.000 Because people sit down there and they watch.
01:17:00.000 They just sit there.
01:17:01.000 I was going to buy this purse, but then I couldn't find it.
01:17:04.000 And I was like, oh my god, this is so annoying.
01:17:07.000 And I'm watching it!
01:17:08.000 I'm watching it!
01:17:09.000 I'll be in a hotel room when it comes on, and if they edit it quick enough, where it's like one scene to the next scene, one scene to the next scene, like I'm watching a little ping pong match with my eyeballs, for whatever reason, I lock in.
01:17:19.000 I know their names.
01:17:20.000 I know their names.
01:17:22.000 I know the wife.
01:17:23.000 I look at the poor Bruce Jenner bastard before he became a woman.
01:17:26.000 I know about all those people.
01:17:28.000 Sure.
01:17:29.000 For no reason.
01:17:30.000 Right.
01:17:30.000 There's not a goddamn thing they've ever said that has been interesting to me.
01:17:34.000 It's not a content thing.
01:17:36.000 It's not a quality thing.
01:17:38.000 They're engaging.
01:17:40.000 They have these amazing points.
01:17:42.000 They're very unique individuals.
01:17:43.000 No, there's none of that.
01:17:45.000 There's none of that.
01:17:46.000 There's a show I really love.
01:17:48.000 It's called Life Below Zero.
01:17:49.000 You ever seen that show?
01:17:50.000 No, I feel like I've heard of that.
01:17:52.000 It's all these crazy fucks that live north of the Arctic Circle.
01:17:55.000 They live subsistence living.
01:17:56.000 There's this one woman that we had on the show named Sue Akins, and she lives 200 fucking miles plus above the Arctic Circle in this place where you're not allowed to have permanent structure.
01:18:07.000 So she has tents that she built up there.
01:18:09.000 And, like, these covered, you know, circular tents.
01:18:13.000 Right.
01:18:13.000 It snows like a fuck.
01:18:14.000 There's wolves everywhere.
01:18:15.000 She was attacked by a grizzly bear, okay, broken her hip, bit into her skull, broke her leg.
01:18:21.000 She went back, shot the bear, and ate it.
01:18:24.000 Okay?
01:18:25.000 That's a person I'm interested in seeing.
01:18:27.000 You know what I mean?
01:18:28.000 That bitch is gangster as fuck.
01:18:30.000 She lives- She's crazy.
01:18:31.000 She's crazy, but she's awesome.
01:18:33.000 She's a really- It's really unique, like, when I had her on the show, sitting and talking to her, because she's so personable.
01:18:39.000 You had her here.
01:18:40.000 Yeah.
01:18:40.000 So she knows there are other places in the world she could live.
01:18:44.000 She likes it up there.
01:18:45.000 She really does.
01:18:46.000 I mean, I just think people like weird shit.
01:18:48.000 Some people like living in Florida.
01:18:49.000 They like it.
01:18:50.000 They like Florida.
01:18:51.000 Great point.
01:18:51.000 You know?
01:18:52.000 They just decide, like, I'm staying here.
01:18:55.000 She loves it up there.
01:18:56.000 She loves the solitude.
01:18:58.000 She loves the fact that she has to rely on herself.
01:19:02.000 But she's a unique human.
01:19:04.000 She has a very unique perspective.
01:19:06.000 She's very intelligent, and she's very strong and independent.
01:19:11.000 And so that's a person that I want to hear talk.
01:19:13.000 Sure.
01:19:13.000 She's just unique.
01:19:14.000 I don't get any of that from, oh, we went there, and oh my god, this is so annoying.
01:19:19.000 The air conditioning was not working properly.
01:19:23.000 And those are not my favorite shoes.
01:19:26.000 You're watching nonsense.
01:19:28.000 But as long as that nonsense is on television, a certain amount of people will watch nonsense.
01:19:32.000 Sure.
01:19:33.000 Nonsense in the environment of dating is always exciting to people.
01:19:37.000 Like, who's hooking up with who?
01:19:39.000 Is he gonna be with her?
01:19:40.000 Or is he gonna be with her?
01:19:41.000 Is she gonna feel rejected?
01:19:43.000 Or is he gonna feel rejected?
01:19:45.000 Or is she gonna reject him, but then he rejects her?
01:19:47.000 Oh my god.
01:19:48.000 It's amazing.
01:19:50.000 There's suffering.
01:19:50.000 There's panic.
01:19:51.000 People are freaking out right now because it came out that I guess whoever the current Bachelorette is might have slept with a bunch of the guys.
01:20:00.000 Wait a minute, a woman has sex with a man?
01:20:03.000 I've been telling my wife for years.
01:20:04.000 I was like, you know everybody on that show is hooking up.
01:20:07.000 And she's like, no, it's not.
01:20:09.000 It's not like that.
01:20:09.000 One of our directors on Top Gear, this guy Gary, was one of the directors for the first couple seasons of The Bachelor, he said, dude, there's a vault with footage.
01:20:18.000 There's a camera everywhere.
01:20:19.000 Right.
01:20:20.000 And we feed these people tons of alcohol and hardly any food.
01:20:24.000 There's video of everybody humping.
01:20:26.000 Like, there's just a whole closet full of weird videos of these people hooking up.
01:20:31.000 Find out who Caitlyn sleeps with and the surprising motivation.
01:20:34.000 No, I don't want to find out.
01:20:36.000 Click that fucking tab.
01:20:37.000 You shut that tab off.
01:20:39.000 I don't want to ever see that again.
01:20:41.000 You keep that out of my life, Jamie.
01:20:42.000 You may want to clear out the Google history, just to double...
01:20:46.000 Just clear your history, Jamie!
01:20:47.000 This is enough!
01:20:49.000 I can't do it!
01:20:50.000 I won't!
01:20:50.000 I miss the days of...
01:20:52.000 You remember The Real World on MTV? That was like people's first sort of look at like, well, I guess if people just sit around and drink all day, they might get into fights about something that's seemingly important.
01:21:02.000 Well, just as a bit of history, the guy who produced The Real World was the producer of Fear Factor.
01:21:08.000 Matt Kunitz.
01:21:08.000 I did not know that.
01:21:09.000 Yeah, Matt Kunitz.
01:21:10.000 Great guy.
01:21:11.000 Boy, I bet he's awesome.
01:21:13.000 He was the guy that forced the people into drinking cum on Fear Factor.
01:21:16.000 Was it from a horse or something?
01:21:18.000 Donkey.
01:21:19.000 I'm sure it was his idea.
01:21:20.000 He laughed at me when I told him you shouldn't do it.
01:21:23.000 I'm like, you shouldn't have people drink cum.
01:21:24.000 He's laughing.
01:21:25.000 Why not?
01:21:25.000 They're gonna do it.
01:21:27.000 Don't do it.
01:21:27.000 Don't fucking do it.
01:21:29.000 Don't do it.
01:21:30.000 I gotta be honest.
01:21:32.000 I didn't watch a ton of the show because I was just against it.
01:21:34.000 Like, why would you eat, like, horses' anus?
01:21:37.000 I'm gonna be honest with you.
01:21:38.000 I didn't watch it either.
01:21:40.000 I watched it maybe three times, the entire fucking 148 episodes.
01:21:43.000 I enjoyed some of the physical things that people would have to do.
01:21:47.000 I get why those were cool.
01:21:49.000 I don't know what lake y'all used for some stuff.
01:21:52.000 Castaic, mostly.
01:21:53.000 Boy.
01:21:53.000 Yeah.
01:21:54.000 That sucker looked cold, and it looked rough some days.
01:21:57.000 Oh, I mean, how cold does it get?
01:21:59.000 We're living in California.
01:22:01.000 Touche.
01:22:01.000 It gets down to 50. It must have been 60 degrees in there.
01:22:04.000 Water was like 75 degrees.
01:22:06.000 I don't know how they dealt.
01:22:07.000 But you've seen one snake on a stranger.
01:22:09.000 I just felt like this is not for me, man.
01:22:12.000 Well, I get so used to like fucked up things and vomit and like like it just I'm just so used to it I'm so like just unfazed like one time my wife She went to the gym and she had wheatgrass juice right after the gym.
01:22:25.000 She threw up in her car She just couldn't help it.
01:22:27.000 She was on the highway and she threw up in her console.
01:22:29.000 She's like, oh my god.
01:22:30.000 I can't even clean it I'll throw up again.
01:22:32.000 I go I'll clean it I didn't give a shit.
01:22:34.000 No big deal.
01:22:35.000 I'll get in there.
01:22:36.000 Throw up to me was nothing.
01:22:37.000 I saw throw up every day.
01:22:39.000 I mean literally every day I was at work is either someone throwing up or someone thinking they were gonna throw up.
01:22:45.000 Once a week for sure I saw three or four people throw up.
01:22:49.000 Every week.
01:22:49.000 It was really like preparing you for being a parent, too.
01:22:53.000 Sort of, yeah, in a lot of ways.
01:22:54.000 Because then you're unfazed.
01:22:55.000 Like, when the diapers hit or anything else, you're like, oh, let's get in there.
01:22:58.000 Well, you know what?
01:22:58.000 That was one thing that really was shocking to me.
01:23:00.000 It wasn't gross at all.
01:23:03.000 Like, when it's your baby's shit, and you're cleaning out a diaper, and you're wiping her and cleaning her, it's not gross at all.
01:23:09.000 You just feel like, oh, this poor little thing.
01:23:11.000 I gotta help her.
01:23:12.000 I gotta help her out.
01:23:13.000 Well, when it's your uncle at a wedding, you're like, this guy's got a problem.
01:23:16.000 Exactly.
01:23:17.000 This weirdo.
01:23:18.000 Yeah, drunk bastard shitting his pants.
01:23:20.000 Crapped his pants again.
01:23:21.000 Fucking savage.
01:23:23.000 How old are your kids?
01:23:24.000 The little ones are seven and five.
01:23:26.000 Seven and five.
01:23:27.000 That means you've seen, like, Doc McStuffins.
01:23:29.000 Oh, yeah, of course.
01:23:30.000 Doc McStuffins.
01:23:31.000 I watch it all the time.
01:23:33.000 I like to call her Dr. McStuffins.
01:23:34.000 It drives my girls crazy.
01:23:36.000 Well, you know what they think is funny now?
01:23:37.000 They like to watch shows that they already know in other languages and just laugh and laugh.
01:23:42.000 Yeah, they're like bubble guppies in French.
01:23:44.000 That's the latest.
01:23:45.000 Get out.
01:23:45.000 Plays in the car.
01:23:46.000 That's fantastic.
01:23:47.000 And they're singing bubble guppies.
01:23:48.000 You think it's fantastic because you have daughters too.
01:23:50.000 Right.
01:23:51.000 People at home are like, yeah, not fantastic people listening.
01:23:54.000 They don't care.
01:23:55.000 Like Jamie over there.
01:23:56.000 No kid, no girlfriend.
01:23:57.000 Look at him.
01:23:57.000 He's like, fuck kids.
01:23:58.000 You should get some kids, man.
01:23:59.000 It is a ride.
01:24:01.000 He doesn't even have a dog or a plant.
01:24:03.000 Dude, the beauty is when kids say things that you know aren't wrong, but you're not sure how to help them understand that publicly sometimes they're incorrect.
01:24:13.000 We drove back from Chicago last week.
01:24:16.000 We stopped in a town called Arcola.
01:24:20.000 I think it was in Illinois.
01:24:21.000 It might have been Indiana.
01:24:22.000 It's something with an I. It's the home of the guy that created the Raggedy Ann and Andy doll.
01:24:27.000 And it just so happens there was a parade.
01:24:31.000 A Raggedy Ann and Andy parade.
01:24:33.000 And kids here, there's a parade, and it's like catnip to children.
01:24:37.000 They just go, oh my god, we have to see this parade.
01:24:40.000 And we were just trying to get them out of the car to stretch their legs.
01:24:43.000 So we go, okay, great.
01:24:44.000 We'll see the parade.
01:24:44.000 Big woman comes up on a golf cart, and she tells this high school girl, okay, plug in the speakers.
01:24:49.000 And this girl gets out with a boombox, like a disc man and two three-inch speakers.
01:24:55.000 And she plugs it in with an orange extension cord.
01:24:58.000 And my wife turns to me, and she says, do you think that's the music?
01:25:01.000 I said, honey...
01:25:04.000 It's an exit off the interstate.
01:25:06.000 Let's soak this up.
01:25:07.000 And then suddenly we realize the parade has begun.
01:25:10.000 Our four-year-old Millie is on my shoulders.
01:25:13.000 Elsie, our seven-year-old, is standing.
01:25:14.000 My wife's holding the baby.
01:25:16.000 And so they start, and the first group is about six women dressed as Raggedy Ann, and then one weird dude wearing striped socks.
01:25:25.000 And I don't know how to tell you this, man, but I just felt like saying, hey, dude, if you're not going to dress up like it, just stand over here with the other 12 of us watching this parade, which is all of 100 yards long.
01:25:35.000 That's way too long.
01:25:37.000 It's like 30 yards long.
01:25:38.000 So the six women go by.
01:25:40.000 Then there's about five high school girls dressed as Raggedy Ann.
01:25:43.000 They walk by.
01:25:44.000 And then there's the eight girls from the local high school flag corps.
01:25:49.000 That's the entire parade.
01:25:50.000 It takes maybe a minute and a half.
01:25:52.000 And then Elsie, the seven-year-old, said, Is that it?
01:25:57.000 Real loud.
01:25:58.000 Keep in mind, all of town is there.
01:25:59.000 And then Millie, the four-year-old, says, That's the worst parade I've ever seen!
01:26:06.000 And she's not wrong.
01:26:08.000 No.
01:26:08.000 But I didn't know how to tell her, like, ah, you sit there and you're like, all right, all right, how do you do this?
01:26:13.000 And I said, Millie, that wasn't very sweet, but very honest.
01:26:18.000 Let's just go get some food.
01:26:19.000 Let's get out of here.
01:26:21.000 And I know they tried, but like sometimes when kids say stuff, you just don't know how else to be like, you're not wrong.
01:26:26.000 But socially, we shouldn't say that out loud.
01:26:29.000 Well, they need to experience that, though.
01:26:31.000 They need to know that not everything is the Disneyland parade.
01:26:34.000 Yeah.
01:26:34.000 Right.
01:26:35.000 Not everything is Snow White and the cast of Frozen and all the jazz that you see at Disneyland.
01:26:41.000 It's not all like that.
01:26:42.000 Sometimes in the middle of the country, it's dog shit.
01:26:44.000 It's just a terrible fucking parade.
01:26:46.000 It's a terrible Raggedy Ann parade.
01:26:49.000 Have you ever taken the drive from L.A. to Vegas?
01:26:52.000 Yeah.
01:26:52.000 Oh, yeah.
01:26:53.000 You know there's all those weird towns that you stop off along the way if you're adventurous?
01:26:58.000 Barstow and just desert people.
01:26:59.000 Well, Barstow's a great town in comparison to some of the really odd ones.
01:27:04.000 Mm-hmm.
01:27:04.000 Well, there was one that was about an hour or so outside of Vegas.
01:27:08.000 I was with a couple buddies.
01:27:09.000 We were driving down to go, it was a long time ago, to go see some kickboxing event, K-1 event that was in Vegas.
01:27:15.000 And so we said, well, let's just stop over here and see if we'll go grab something to drink or something like that.
01:27:21.000 So we pulled into this town and they had a Wild West show.
01:27:24.000 And I was like, oh, we are going to see this fucking Wild West show.
01:27:27.000 You have to.
01:27:28.000 So we got out and they had like a fake gunfight and the whole thing and like there's these like shitty fake houses that were like, you know those movie houses?
01:27:37.000 The little facade fronts.
01:27:37.000 Yeah, you have the front and there's nothing behind it, like saloon.
01:27:41.000 Right.
01:27:41.000 Bank, you know?
01:27:43.000 We got out and they had this whole act and all we could talk about like the whole weekend was that fucking shitty Wild West show that we stopped off just randomly, completely randomly pulled off the road, drove a mile, pulled in, paid our money,
01:27:58.000 got out of our car, smoked some weed, got in and went to see this ridiculous Wild West show that was the highlight of our weekend.
01:28:06.000 Not at the time, but became the highlight of our weekend because all weekend we're just making fun of this fucking Wild West show that we saw.
01:28:12.000 And their total commitment, right?
01:28:15.000 That's the part, like when you see it and there's like Wyatt Earp walks out, it's not a guy who's kind of Wyatt Earp-ish.
01:28:21.000 This son of a bitch believes he is Wyatt Earp.
01:28:24.000 He grew that mustache, curled it at the end.
01:28:26.000 Right?
01:28:27.000 Yeah, poor bastards.
01:28:29.000 They're kind of like the people that believe in doing the reenactments.
01:28:33.000 Oh, yeah.
01:28:34.000 Like, man, I know how this is going to end.
01:28:36.000 The best reenactments are reenactments where you know it's a lie in the first place.
01:28:41.000 Like a reenactment of the time you saw Bigfoot.
01:28:46.000 They used to have this fucking show on the sci-fi network when I was on, when my show was on Joe Rogan Questions Everything was on the network.
01:28:53.000 They had this supernatural show that should have just been called the Liar's Hour.
01:28:58.000 Right.
01:28:58.000 Because it was just a bunch of liars.
01:28:59.000 And one of them was these people that said that they were trapped in a house in Maine while werewolves were outside.
01:29:07.000 And they're just going over this whole thing, and they're like talking about- and then they had like the reenactments of them like looking out the window and then seeing the things- Those are the best, right?
01:29:16.000 Like they're trapped in- do werewolves not know that glass is super fucking easy to break?
01:29:21.000 You have windows!
01:29:22.000 You're looking out windows.
01:29:23.000 The werewolves, you're protected inside this fucking house from these killing machines?
01:29:26.000 Yeah.
01:29:27.000 What, because they can't figure out how to break the glass and get it the meaty delicious portions inside?
01:29:31.000 Right.
01:29:32.000 Get the fuck out of here.
01:29:32.000 That's not how that works, man.
01:29:35.000 The werewolves are a little...
01:29:36.000 There's one in your lobby that genuinely frightened me.
01:29:40.000 You think it's going to stop and use the doorbell?
01:29:43.000 No.
01:29:43.000 Well, that's a rubber one.
01:29:45.000 It's really easy.
01:29:45.000 It doesn't weigh that much.
01:29:47.000 You smack it.
01:29:47.000 It's face wiggles.
01:29:48.000 But a real one, if that was a werewolf...
01:29:49.000 It's going through your window.
01:29:51.000 It's going to tear apart everybody in the room.
01:29:53.000 But it's just...
01:29:53.000 Those reenactments, you know, they're cheesy in the first place.
01:29:58.000 But when it's a lie, when you know it's a lie.
01:30:01.000 Have you met those Ghost Hunter guys?
01:30:02.000 Oh, they're the best.
01:30:04.000 Do you like those guys?
01:30:04.000 No, I don't.
01:30:05.000 Watching that show cracks me up.
01:30:08.000 Some of them are very nice, and some of them really believe.
01:30:12.000 Why did you two just look at each other with that funny look?
01:30:14.000 Because we've had a bunch of those guys, not Ghost Hunter guys, but Bigfoot Hunter guys.
01:30:18.000 We've had a few of those on the show.
01:30:20.000 The ones that make the Sasquatch call?
01:30:21.000 Oh, yeah, we've had that guy on.
01:30:23.000 God, that guy's the best.
01:30:24.000 I had Bubba on.
01:30:25.000 He's just shouting nonsense.
01:30:28.000 Not only that, no one has ever recorded a Sasquatch.
01:30:32.000 It's like, if you do a coyote sound, you know what a coyote sounds like.
01:30:36.000 Right.
01:30:37.000 He can hear coyotes.
01:30:38.000 They have recordings.
01:30:39.000 You don't know what a fucking Bigfoot sounds like.
01:30:41.000 No.
01:30:41.000 You're just guessing.
01:30:42.000 Because it's made up.
01:30:43.000 Exactly.
01:30:43.000 Because it's not a real thing.
01:30:46.000 They just yell out into the holler.
01:30:48.000 They yell out into that canyon.
01:30:50.000 How about those dudes in Alabama?
01:30:52.000 The guys in Alabama a couple years ago, they said they had one in a deep freezer?
01:30:56.000 That guy had already hoaxed something just a few years before that.
01:30:59.000 Really?
01:31:00.000 Yeah, he had hoaxed it a few years before that.
01:31:02.000 He said, well, that one was fake, but this one's real.
01:31:03.000 This one's real.
01:31:04.000 This time's real.
01:31:05.000 I got them.
01:31:05.000 Yeah, we got them in the deep freeze.
01:31:07.000 What is this, Paranormal Witness Season 3?
01:31:08.000 Is this the werewolf one?
01:31:09.000 Yes, the werewolf.
01:31:09.000 Oh, please play some of this fucking stupid shit.
01:31:12.000 Oh, look, it says Joe Rogan questions everything in the corner.
01:31:14.000 Look at you.
01:31:16.000 These people are reenacting.
01:31:18.000 Is this what the inside of the house would have looked like?
01:31:20.000 Yes.
01:31:21.000 This is the reenactment.
01:31:24.000 I kind of froze.
01:31:25.000 I kind of froze.
01:31:27.000 I had this weird recurring dream.
01:31:29.000 You got two things planned at the same time.
01:31:30.000 I had a weird recurring dream as a kid that I saw a lumberjack outside my house.
01:31:34.000 He was in a red and black flannel, like the one Biggie used to wear.
01:31:38.000 And he had red eyes.
01:31:40.000 And I, like, growing up in Alabama, I would see him outside the house, and I thought, like, that dude could get in.
01:31:45.000 Right?
01:31:46.000 But it was just a dream.
01:31:47.000 Yeah.
01:31:47.000 I didn't believe he was actually outside there.
01:31:49.000 Scroll back to that guy talking about how the thing was outside.
01:31:52.000 Well, I heard it, and I just froze.
01:31:55.000 Yeah.
01:31:56.000 Was he drunk?
01:31:57.000 Dropped his keys, looks like.
01:32:01.000 Do you have to have a mustache to have a really crazy story, or is that sometimes just an added bonus?
01:32:08.000 Listen to this.
01:32:14.000 Paranormal Witness Season 3. That means they had two other seasons of this shitty show.
01:32:20.000 Look, he sees it!
01:32:21.000 I see it!
01:32:25.000 He was right there.
01:32:26.000 I was on my Dodge Ram and that's when I realized I had soiled my pants.
01:32:30.000 This thing was breathing.
01:32:33.000 I thought for sure he was going to come at me.
01:32:39.000 Is this the worst recreation of all time?
01:32:42.000 Honest question.
01:32:43.000 Is it possible this guy had glaucoma and just the neighbor had a black lab?
01:32:47.000 It's possible this guy's been sniffing paint since he was three years old and he's got three brain cells inside his head that are bouncing around off the walls.
01:32:56.000 He's an idiot.
01:32:57.000 He can't even pronounce sentences.
01:32:59.000 But it's just amazing that they recreated this.
01:33:03.000 They actually made a show around an obvious lie and recreated it.
01:33:08.000 I just feel bad he left his keys out there.
01:33:10.000 I wonder if they're still there.
01:33:12.000 Well, one of the things when I first started doing the sci-fi show, they were worried that the show was going to be just totally debunking things.
01:33:18.000 And I said, no, I'm going to approach everything with a complete open mind.
01:33:21.000 I just want to find out what are these alien implants that people keep saying that they find in their bodies?
01:33:27.000 What are crop circles?
01:33:29.000 What are all these things?
01:33:30.000 Yeah.
01:33:31.000 Problem is, once you start looking at it, you realize you're dealing with the same type of human being over and over and over again.
01:33:38.000 You're dealing with these really socially awkward, delusional, bad liars.
01:33:44.000 Right.
01:33:44.000 And that's a whole industry.
01:33:46.000 There's a whole industry of making shows around the stories of these socially awkward, bad liars.
01:33:52.000 Like, I met one guy within...
01:33:54.000 Three minutes of meeting him, and I'm not exaggerating.
01:33:56.000 He told me that he saw Bigfoot, that he saw a bulletproof wolf that appeared out of mist, and that he knew a spot where he could regularly summon UFOs.
01:34:06.000 They would come, and these orbs would show up, and they would start moving around you.
01:34:11.000 And we were looking at each other.
01:34:12.000 It was like, I can't believe we drove out to talk to this fucking guy.
01:34:15.000 Long shot.
01:34:17.000 Is he by any chance unemployed?
01:34:20.000 This guy actually ran his own bar.
01:34:23.000 See, how does a guy like that have a job, though?
01:34:25.000 Like, don't you feel like all his time would be taken up by believing nonsense?
01:34:30.000 He might have lived in Florida or somewhere like that, where he could just get away with shit.
01:34:33.000 I love that Florida's your go-to.
01:34:35.000 Like, what's the craziest place this country has?
01:34:38.000 Florida.
01:34:39.000 It's everybody's craziest place.
01:34:40.000 Well, in the South, it really is.
01:34:42.000 It's the best.
01:34:43.000 That's like we were like, whatever happened to him?
01:34:45.000 Moved to Florida.
01:34:46.000 Well, I had my friend Jim Florentine on the podcast the other day.
01:34:49.000 Love him.
01:34:49.000 He's a stand-up comic.
01:34:50.000 Love him.
01:34:51.000 And he moved to Florida when he was a kid.
01:34:53.000 He said because when he went there on vacation, everybody got laid.
01:34:57.000 He was like, shit.
01:34:58.000 He goes, let's just move down here.
01:35:00.000 Because you realize in Florida, girls would just fuck.
01:35:03.000 Things were crazy.
01:35:05.000 It's just a totally different kind of human being that you're interacting with.
01:35:10.000 I love that that was his reasoning.
01:35:11.000 That is exactly what his reasoning was.
01:35:13.000 So brilliant and pure.
01:35:14.000 Well, if you live in New Jersey, it's hard to get laid.
01:35:16.000 You know, if you're a young guy coming up in New Jersey, it's fucking, it's a grind.
01:35:20.000 Is it?
01:35:21.000 Yeah, it's a grind.
01:35:22.000 Because all the big hair and like it's just a...
01:35:24.000 It's a lot of work.
01:35:24.000 It's a lot of work.
01:35:25.000 They're not that fun.
01:35:27.000 You ever watch Real Housewives of New Jersey?
01:35:29.000 Once when I was getting a tooth drilled.
01:35:30.000 It's based on real human beings.
01:35:32.000 Those are real human beings.
01:35:34.000 This is the one lady who literally, her fucking hair starts an inch above her eyebrows.
01:35:39.000 She has her eyebrows, and then an inch later, she's a monkey.
01:35:43.000 She's essentially some kind of monkey.
01:35:45.000 And they let this lady live with people, and she wound up, she's in jail now for tax evasion.
01:35:51.000 Oh, that one.
01:35:52.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:35:52.000 That didn't work out too much.
01:35:53.000 Her husband's an ape.
01:35:55.000 You look at her husband, he looks like a gorilla, like someone shaved down a gorilla, a big fat Italian gorilla.
01:36:00.000 And that's Jersey.
01:36:01.000 Do you know what I almost miss?
01:36:05.000 What was the MTV show?
01:36:06.000 Jersey Shore?
01:36:07.000 Oh, yeah.
01:36:08.000 Watching that train wreck happen was...
01:36:11.000 You have to admit, when that dude, the situation was like...
01:36:16.000 Like, I've got a Lamborghini.
01:36:18.000 That was one of those moments when you thought, kids, I can't wait to tell you about this one day.
01:36:21.000 Well, how did it not stay on the air?
01:36:24.000 That's what's confusing to me.
01:36:25.000 Great question.
01:36:25.000 How'd that show get canceled?
01:36:27.000 Somehow, Pauly D, like, I don't know what, he seems very charming.
01:36:31.000 Like, I want to not like him, but I kind of do.
01:36:34.000 Because he's just fist-pumping like James.
01:36:36.000 Like, I think he's just a dude that just knows what he loves, right?
01:36:38.000 Yeah.
01:36:39.000 But Snooki seems, everyone else seems bananas.
01:36:41.000 Did you ever see the one where Snooki got punched in the face?
01:36:44.000 I did.
01:36:44.000 God, it was hard to watch, man.
01:36:48.000 I've been in one fight in my life, and it was with one of my best friends in sixth grade.
01:36:53.000 My buddy Richard Davis punched me repeatedly in the face.
01:36:57.000 Why?
01:36:58.000 We were mad about something, right?
01:37:00.000 And it was like, I'll meet you after school.
01:37:02.000 Whoa.
01:37:03.000 Well, I was trying to tackle him and trying to...
01:37:07.000 I don't know what I was doing.
01:37:08.000 I had never been in a fight before.
01:37:10.000 My face was so swollen, I told my mom that I had had an accident on my bicycle, because I didn't want to tell her, like...
01:37:17.000 Yeah, my friend Richard from up the street beat the crap out of me.
01:37:20.000 Did you and Richard stay friends after that?
01:37:21.000 Yeah, we're friends now.
01:37:22.000 Great guy.
01:37:23.000 Great guy.
01:37:24.000 Like, that was a time when you could just get in a fight and like, alright, that's cool.
01:37:27.000 Well, it was fucked up how easy that guy punched her.
01:37:29.000 Like, he just like, you fucking bitch, boom, just punched her in the face.
01:37:32.000 Wasn't that awful?
01:37:33.000 There wasn't no, like, worry that she was going to hit him.
01:37:36.000 She didn't have a knife.
01:37:37.000 She wasn't threatening him.
01:37:38.000 It wasn't, like, self-defense.
01:37:40.000 It was just like, he decided he didn't want her talking anymore, so he just knuckled her right in the face.
01:37:44.000 Her hat flew off.
01:37:46.000 There it is right there.
01:37:47.000 Oh, don't.
01:37:47.000 Oh, don't play it.
01:37:48.000 Play that back.
01:37:49.000 Play that back.
01:37:49.000 Go from the beginning, though.
01:37:50.000 Here it goes.
01:37:51.000 The guy was a schoolteacher, too.
01:37:53.000 Watch.
01:37:53.000 No.
01:37:54.000 Boom.
01:37:54.000 Yeah.
01:37:55.000 And did he lose his job after that?
01:37:57.000 Oh, of course he did.
01:37:57.000 Yeah.
01:37:58.000 I think he actually had some MMA fights.
01:38:00.000 No, he didn't.
01:38:00.000 Yeah.
01:38:01.000 He just punched her right in the face.
01:38:02.000 Boom.
01:38:03.000 What was it, by the way, that you and my buddy Scrape are good friends, I know, but what is it that made you get into...
01:38:09.000 Where did that come into your life?
01:38:11.000 Where did MMA... 1997 is when I first started working for them.
01:38:16.000 I did the post-fight interviews in 1997. And was it something like, had you seen it and kind of dug it and told Dana and those guys, hey, I'd love to be part?
01:38:23.000 It was before Dana.
01:38:23.000 Really?
01:38:24.000 Yeah, I worked at the UFC before Dana.
01:38:26.000 I didn't realize that.
01:38:26.000 Yeah, I quit, and then Dana hired me.
01:38:29.000 Okay.
01:38:29.000 I did it back during the Dark Ages, when I was banned from cable.
01:38:33.000 Right.
01:38:34.000 And it was in the video store in the Faces of Death Isle.
01:38:38.000 Oh, gosh.
01:38:38.000 That's where you would see it.
01:38:39.000 I remember those.
01:38:41.000 I didn't watch them.
01:38:42.000 I just remember seeing them.
01:38:43.000 Well, that's where you would find the UFC videos.
01:38:45.000 It was a freak show.
01:38:47.000 And most of my life, I'd been involved in martial arts from the time I was a little kid.
01:38:52.000 Sure.
01:38:53.000 So, for me, it was like that show or that event was like the first time they had figured out a way to get different styles to compete against each other.
01:39:03.000 Yeah.
01:39:03.000 And for me as a martial artist, it was entirely fascinating because I had always wondered, like, what would happen if a karate guy fought a judo guy or what have you?
01:39:13.000 Sure.
01:39:14.000 And so the UFC was the first time someone had ever done it and put it together.
01:39:16.000 So I was a huge, huge fan of it.
01:39:18.000 And they needed someone to do their interviews, just after the fight interviews.
01:39:22.000 And they literally...
01:39:25.000 Didn't give me any instruction, no advice, nothing.
01:39:28.000 They put a microphone in my hand, and they said, okay, we're going to come to you in three minutes to talk about the fights.
01:39:35.000 This was live on pay-per-view.
01:39:37.000 I mean, no one had briefed me.
01:39:39.000 Right.
01:39:40.000 When I say no one to give me any advice, I mean, they hadn't said a fucking thing to me.
01:39:43.000 They turned the camera on me and they said, okay, you're live.
01:39:47.000 And I was like, this is an amazing event.
01:39:50.000 We got this guy's going to fight that guy.
01:39:51.000 And the implications are blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
01:39:54.000 And this guy trains in jujitsu.
01:39:56.000 And that's it.
01:39:58.000 It's a fantastic event.
01:39:59.000 I can't wait.
01:39:59.000 Back to you guys.
01:40:00.000 And I did it.
01:40:01.000 And I was like, what the fuck am I doing?
01:40:02.000 Like, who let me do Right.
01:40:03.000 Like, this is ridiculous.
01:40:04.000 Like, the post-fight interviews, no, no advice.
01:40:07.000 No one told me how to do it.
01:40:08.000 Nothing.
01:40:08.000 Just sent me in there.
01:40:09.000 The fight was over.
01:40:10.000 I had to come up with the questions.
01:40:11.000 I would ask them.
01:40:12.000 It was very bizarre.
01:40:14.000 It was very bizarre.
01:40:15.000 Very, very, very strange gig.
01:40:17.000 And I did it for about two years.
01:40:18.000 And it was like all little puddle hopper planes.
01:40:22.000 Sure.
01:40:22.000 Flying into weird casinos in the south.
01:40:25.000 That was the only places where they allowed them to have it.
01:40:27.000 Right.
01:40:27.000 And I quit.
01:40:28.000 It was just too much.
01:40:30.000 It was just too weird.
01:40:30.000 And so I stopped for a couple years, and then the UFC got purchased by Zufa, which is when Dana came into it.
01:40:36.000 Okay.
01:40:36.000 Fertitta Brothers.
01:40:37.000 And I just became a fan, and I was hanging out with Dana, and Dana and I became friends, and we would go to dinner, and I would just start saying, well, why don't you have this guy fight that guy?
01:40:47.000 Like, what about this?
01:40:47.000 You ever see this guy fight in Japan?
01:40:49.000 Like, do you know about this guy?
01:40:50.000 Do you know about that?
01:40:51.000 And I just started talking to him about all this different shit.
01:40:53.000 He's like, do you want to do commentary?
01:40:54.000 I was like, I'm Man, I just don't want to work.
01:40:56.000 I just want to come and drink.
01:40:57.000 Yeah.
01:40:57.000 I want to see the fights and have a good time.
01:40:59.000 And back then no one was watching it either.
01:41:01.000 Right.
01:41:01.000 It was like, it wasn't like someone was asking me to do the UFC today.
01:41:05.000 Right.
01:41:05.000 It was like the UFC then was like doing porn.
01:41:08.000 Like that's literally what it was like.
01:41:09.000 It's like, you want to fuck on film?
01:41:11.000 Like, I don't know.
01:41:12.000 How much money is involved?
01:41:14.000 Is there going to be alcohol?
01:41:15.000 Okay.
01:41:15.000 You'd have to be like, you know, to be involved in it was like detrimental for your career.
01:41:20.000 Like when I was on news radio, I was doing the UFC. Really?
01:41:23.000 Yeah.
01:41:24.000 They were flying me to these weird places.
01:41:25.000 Like I started in 97, so yeah.
01:41:29.000 News Radio started in 94, so 94, 95. So it was like two, three years in that I was doing that, and they were like, what the fuck are you doing?
01:41:38.000 What are you doing on your weekends?
01:41:39.000 They were thinking it was bad for my career, because filming would be over on Friday.
01:41:44.000 We'd be done filming.
01:41:45.000 I'd get on a fucking plane.
01:41:46.000 I'd fly to Alabama and watch dudes get punting in the head.
01:41:50.000 Right.
01:41:53.000 Everyone else you work with is like in Santa Barbara for the weekend.
01:41:56.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:41:57.000 They were doing fucking plays.
01:41:59.000 You're in Montgomery at the Civic Center.
01:42:01.000 They'd go to some musical that nobody really enjoyed.
01:42:03.000 Like you had to pretend that everybody enjoyed.
01:42:06.000 And I would come back and talk about, you know, some crazy event where somebody got their teeth kicked into the third row.
01:42:13.000 It was very strange.
01:42:15.000 I got to do the Toyota Pro Celebrity race with Cain Velasquez.
01:42:19.000 Oh, he's great.
01:42:20.000 Cain is like a gentle giant, right?
01:42:24.000 Sweetheart of a guy.
01:42:25.000 Total sweetheart, total teddy bear, but he could rip your house down.
01:42:30.000 Visually to me, he's like, wreck it, Ralph.
01:42:32.000 He could just come in and take out an interstate.
01:42:34.000 And I don't know what it is about being around him, but the first couple days I was like, hey man, nice to see you, don't kill me.
01:42:41.000 By the end of the second week, I was like, what's up?
01:42:43.000 You want to just go?
01:42:44.000 You want to just take care of this?
01:42:45.000 I don't know why.
01:42:46.000 I started talking crap.
01:42:47.000 You want to trust yourself?
01:42:48.000 I just was talking crap to Kane constantly.
01:42:50.000 And there was one time, I don't know if he actually touched me or he just got real close.
01:42:56.000 And I, dude, I shut down.
01:42:58.000 I was like, oh, God.
01:42:59.000 I just went sort of limp.
01:43:01.000 Like he was going to grab your neck or something?
01:43:03.000 I don't know why I did that.
01:43:05.000 Every time I see him now, I'll still be like, what's up, man?
01:43:07.000 Did you see the fight this weekend?
01:43:08.000 No.
01:43:09.000 Was it just nuts?
01:43:10.000 It was rough.
01:43:11.000 Yeah, he got beat up.
01:43:12.000 He got beat up and then he got strangled.
01:43:14.000 So watching a guy like Kane, who has been...
01:43:17.000 Except for one fight, he got knocked out by Junior Dos Santos in the first round.
01:43:21.000 The one fight.
01:43:22.000 But he went into that fight with a torn knee ligament.
01:43:24.000 Like, he was pretty busted up going into that fight.
01:43:27.000 And...
01:43:28.000 He got caught with a huge punch from a real devastating knockout puncher in Junior Dos Santos.
01:43:34.000 So that fight, that loss, was a tough loss, but there was a lot of reasons behind it.
01:43:39.000 It kind of made sense.
01:43:39.000 Then he came back and dominated Junior in the rematch.
01:43:42.000 In my opinion, he's one of the all-time, all-time greats.
01:43:46.000 But to see him fight Fabricio Verdun, Fabricio Verdun was fucking him up standing.
01:43:51.000 And Fabricio is like one of the best jujitsu artists ever to compete in MMA. Multiple time world champion.
01:43:58.000 And Kane was actually forced into taking Fabricio down.
01:44:02.000 And he took Fabricio to the ground.
01:44:04.000 Fabricio caught him in a guillotine and tapped him out.
01:44:06.000 No way.
01:44:07.000 It was crazy.
01:44:07.000 Well, they fought in Mexico City.
01:44:09.000 Right.
01:44:09.000 And I saw Kane was down there training.
01:44:12.000 I don't know why.
01:44:14.000 I mean, it seemed like he was in the middle of nowhere in Mexico training.
01:44:16.000 Well, he was only there for two weeks.
01:44:17.000 Really?
01:44:18.000 And, yeah, somebody...
01:44:19.000 I don't know where it was, but somebody put it up on my message board that there's some sort of a formula of, like, altitude.
01:44:27.000 Sure.
01:44:28.000 Like, that if you compete at altitude, you have to be there for X amount of days.
01:44:31.000 Depending upon how high the altitude is, there's X amount of days you have to be there in order to acclimate.
01:44:37.000 Okay.
01:44:38.000 For Mexico City, it's like 26 days.
01:44:40.000 Oh, wow.
01:44:41.000 And Kane only got there two weeks before.
01:44:43.000 Okay.
01:44:43.000 So he had not acclimated at all.
01:44:45.000 And he just wasn't ready yet.
01:44:47.000 Sure.
01:44:47.000 And the altitude is ruthless.
01:44:49.000 Yeah.
01:44:49.000 75 to 7,800 feet above sea level.
01:44:52.000 And people don't know...
01:44:53.000 Like, I've gotten altitude sickness on Top Gear before.
01:44:57.000 It's ridiculous, man.
01:44:58.000 You just can't...
01:44:59.000 Your body just doesn't know how to function.
01:45:01.000 It's like wearing the tightest belt...
01:45:04.000 On every part of your body.
01:45:05.000 It's just weird what it does to you.
01:45:07.000 It's real bad.
01:45:07.000 Did you see?
01:45:08.000 I put a picture on Instagram.
01:45:09.000 I don't know if you saw it, but there's an Instagram picture that I put up that I took while we were landing.
01:45:13.000 This is real.
01:45:15.000 That's how bad the pollution is.
01:45:16.000 Oh.
01:45:17.000 And that's in Mexico City, right?
01:45:19.000 That is Mexico City.
01:45:20.000 That's landing in Mexico City.
01:45:21.000 You see it on the big screen up there.
01:45:22.000 Yeah.
01:45:22.000 I mean, I was like, holy fucking shit.
01:45:27.000 And as soon as I got down there, I could smell it.
01:45:29.000 You smell it in the air, and you get a headache.
01:45:31.000 Right.
01:45:31.000 Like, right away.
01:45:32.000 Because there's no fucking air, because you're at 7,500 feet above sea level.
01:45:36.000 And whatever air that you have is filled with car exhausts.
01:45:40.000 And traffic lights are a joke.
01:45:44.000 No one's stopping at red lights.
01:45:46.000 It's not even a suggestion.
01:45:48.000 It's a government gig.
01:45:49.000 Street decorations.
01:45:50.000 Yeah.
01:45:51.000 Oh, pretty red.
01:45:52.000 Right through.
01:45:53.000 Nobody was paying attention.
01:45:55.000 Everything's gridlock.
01:45:56.000 When you hit rush hour, everything's gridlock.
01:45:58.000 There's no non-gridlock.
01:46:00.000 You know, sometimes you get LA gridlock.
01:46:02.000 Sure.
01:46:02.000 Some selfish asshole decides that even though the light has turned red, he's still going to make that left turn.
01:46:06.000 Right.
01:46:06.000 And he gets blocked, and people honk, and he's like, just looking ahead like he doesn't notice you.
01:46:10.000 In Mexico, that's just what they do.
01:46:12.000 Right.
01:46:13.000 There's just too many people.
01:46:14.000 And it's not even their fault.
01:46:16.000 It's just out of control.
01:46:17.000 Just too many people.
01:46:18.000 I saw people pull out into intersections, and it's like a kamikaze maneuver.
01:46:23.000 Right.
01:46:23.000 The traffic's going, and they just go, let's go!
01:46:25.000 They just pull out, and everyone's like, you have to slam on the brakes.
01:46:28.000 They just decide, no one's going to let you in.
01:46:30.000 Right.
01:46:31.000 You just have to make your way.
01:46:32.000 Just go for it.
01:46:33.000 And so, like, traffic was going, and this guy's just, like, creeping in front of cars, and you see people hitting the brakes, then he would recognize that he had a little bit of an opening, so he'd gun it.
01:46:43.000 Gun it a car length ahead and like fuck and watching it was giving me a headache I was like this is crazy.
01:46:49.000 This is a crazy way to live There's like 40 million people or something like that.
01:46:53.000 It's much larger than LA. Yeah much larger much larger 2,000 feet above Denver and polluted as fuck It's madness.
01:47:02.000 How's the food?
01:47:03.000 Great.
01:47:03.000 The people are great, too.
01:47:05.000 That's the interesting thing.
01:47:06.000 They're very, very nice.
01:47:07.000 Yeah.
01:47:07.000 They're super, super friendly.
01:47:09.000 Like, they're just easygoing.
01:47:11.000 Even though they're in this giant-ass city, it's not like a New York thing.
01:47:15.000 Right.
01:47:15.000 Like, sometimes in New York, I love New York.
01:47:17.000 I love the vibe of it.
01:47:19.000 I love the fact there's so many great restaurants and so much stuff to do.
01:47:22.000 It's like, this is a crazy packet of energy.
01:47:26.000 Yeah.
01:47:26.000 But the abrasive nature of some of the people really gets to me.
01:47:30.000 Totally.
01:47:30.000 Like, the TSA in New York, you go to Kennedy Airport, it's like some of the rudest fucking people I've ever met at an airport there.
01:47:40.000 Or just in the world.
01:47:42.000 They just happen to be at the airport.
01:47:43.000 It's like, it's...
01:47:44.000 It's just that attitude.
01:47:45.000 I think it's because there's so many human beings jammed into this place that people, like, they lose an appreciation for each other.
01:47:51.000 Yeah.
01:47:51.000 Which, you know, if you grew up in a small town or if you have ever been to a small town, the one thing that people love is that people look at you, they say hi when you walk down the street.
01:48:00.000 They wave.
01:48:00.000 They kind of appreciate you.
01:48:01.000 Yeah.
01:48:02.000 Because we're not overwhelming each other.
01:48:04.000 I think in cities like New York, there's just too many goddamn people smooshed in next to each other.
01:48:10.000 And in LA, too.
01:48:11.000 That's why everybody gets so angry on the road.
01:48:13.000 Sure.
01:48:13.000 We overwhelm each other, and we're not valuable.
01:48:16.000 There's too many of us.
01:48:18.000 LA, to me, is just New York with more cars that people can drive versus taxis.
01:48:23.000 But when you're in New York, I'm always astounded that it seems like everyone is simultaneously upset.
01:48:29.000 That they're there, but they will tell you it is the greatest city in the world.
01:48:33.000 Yeah.
01:48:34.000 But they're all like, this place sucks.
01:48:35.000 Really?
01:48:35.000 Yeah, but I love it.
01:48:36.000 I'd never leave.
01:48:37.000 Well, the dumbest fucking people in the world are the ones that are, they act like they're something special because they're from New York.
01:48:43.000 Sure.
01:48:44.000 Like, hey, listen, I'm from New York.
01:48:45.000 I can handle myself.
01:48:46.000 You know, like, well, you know how to fight because you're from a spot?
01:48:49.000 Right.
01:48:50.000 Like, really?
01:48:50.000 Is that what you're telling me?
01:48:51.000 You rode a small bus hooked to other buses.
01:48:54.000 They called a subway.
01:48:55.000 So suddenly, I'm from New York.
01:48:57.000 So I can handle myself.
01:48:58.000 You know how it is, right?
01:48:58.000 I'm from New York.
01:49:00.000 No, I don't know.
01:49:01.000 I don't know what you're saying.
01:49:01.000 Sir, I thought we were trying to rent a rental car.
01:49:03.000 It doesn't apply here.
01:49:05.000 Okay, your toughness and growing up in New York.
01:49:08.000 It's like they're from NOM. I was in NOM. I did my time overseas.
01:49:11.000 I'm in the Bronx.
01:49:12.000 I'm in New York.
01:49:13.000 I live in a city.
01:49:14.000 I'm in that big city.
01:49:15.000 Queens.
01:49:16.000 You're in a box.
01:49:17.000 You know, we were looking at real estate the other day, just as a goof, and there was a tiny-ass, shitty little apartment on the west side.
01:49:24.000 And it was $500,000.
01:49:27.000 I was like, this is offensive, right?
01:49:30.000 It's one bedroom, shitty little apartment.
01:49:33.000 Didn't even say how many square feet it was because it looked like it was less than a thousand square feet.
01:49:36.000 And it's a half of a million dollars.
01:49:40.000 Think about how many years it would take the average person of working every fucking day, all day long, eight hours a day, plus commuting.
01:49:49.000 Right.
01:49:50.000 And then taxes taken out of it to scrape up enough money to buy this shitbag of a house.
01:49:55.000 You can't.
01:49:55.000 It's basically impossible.
01:49:57.000 It's basically impossible.
01:49:58.000 The weird thing is, when we were shooting Lost in Transmission, there was two different producers that bought houses in Atlanta where we live.
01:50:08.000 Not to live there, but to buy them and then rent them out, because they can at least make a little money and grow some equity in something there, because out here, like, if people don't know, dude, the dumpiest house you can find out here is still like a million...
01:50:22.000 Yeah.
01:50:23.000 Unless you want to live in Palmdale and smoke crack every day, which if you're watching from Palmdale and you smoke crack, I'm not singling you out.
01:50:30.000 I'm just making a suggestion.
01:50:31.000 I have a friend who just moved to Palmdale.
01:50:33.000 Oh, gosh.
01:50:33.000 Is it Afro man?
01:50:34.000 She has four dogs.
01:50:35.000 She has four pit bulls, and she needed to...
01:50:37.000 She needed some space?
01:50:39.000 No, she needed a place that accepted her dogs and that wasn't very much money.
01:50:43.000 She doesn't make a lot of money.
01:50:44.000 She moved to Palmdale.
01:50:45.000 Dude, it's awful!
01:50:46.000 It's so far out there, and it's so...
01:50:48.000 It's like, if they said you can move to the surface of the sun, that's what living in Palmdale's like.
01:50:53.000 It's the hottest place on Earth, and Afro Man is from there.
01:50:57.000 Who's Afro Man?
01:50:58.000 Because I Got High?
01:50:59.000 Oh, that guy?
01:51:00.000 I feel like you should know that song.
01:51:02.000 Is that the guy who beat up some woman on stage?
01:51:04.000 Oh, no.
01:51:06.000 Oh gosh, I'm sorry.
01:51:07.000 Yeah, right?
01:51:08.000 He fucking cracked some woman on stage.
01:51:10.000 He was on stage and she came up behind him and he punched her in the face and dropped her.
01:51:15.000 Did you ever see that?
01:51:15.000 I didn't.
01:51:16.000 I don't want to make it sound like I'm a fan of Afro Man.
01:51:19.000 I just know that he's from Palmdale.
01:51:20.000 We filmed almost every car scene from Fear Factor in Palmdale.
01:51:25.000 Like Willow Springs or somewhere like that?
01:51:27.000 No, we closed down some side roads.
01:51:29.000 There's some side roads out in the desert.
01:51:31.000 There's nothing but Joshua trees and coyotes and shit.
01:51:34.000 And we had these giant, you know, 10-mile stretches of road that they allow us to close down.
01:51:39.000 Nobody gives a fuck out there.
01:51:40.000 Just go for it.
01:51:41.000 Yeah, this is the video.
01:51:42.000 Oh, gosh, this is the second video you're showing me.
01:51:44.000 Second video of a chick getting punched in the face.
01:51:46.000 That's not what I thought.
01:51:47.000 You don't need to see it.
01:51:48.000 Everyone says you're so sweet and gentle.
01:51:50.000 I try to be nice, man.
01:51:51.000 Shit goes wrong sometimes.
01:51:53.000 But yeah, some woman got behind him and she was like just drunk and being silly at a show and just thought it was cute to climb on stage with him and he punched her in the face and knocked her out cold.
01:52:03.000 She fell back and cracked her head.
01:52:05.000 I mean, it was fucked up.
01:52:07.000 I was on stage in New Hampshire at a NASCAR race once and I was telling people like, alright, thanks for coming out to the show.
01:52:13.000 Like, have a great night.
01:52:14.000 And all of a sudden I turned and there was a woman right here.
01:52:18.000 And I'm not saying, like, I've never had a stalk or anything like that, thank goodness.
01:52:22.000 But, like, I don't know if you've ever had people precariously, I was standing on, like, an eight-foot-tall platform.
01:52:27.000 Yes.
01:52:27.000 I don't know where she came from, and no one saw her, and then she was just there in my face, and a little bit drunk, and definitely from New Hampshire.
01:52:35.000 I don't know if you've had those moments, but it's a real fight-or-flight moment where you're like, why are you, why are you right here in my face, and you're drunk?
01:52:42.000 And she knew my name, and then you're like, I'm just gonna go.
01:52:45.000 This feels weird.
01:52:46.000 It's weird that someone would not think that you would freak out by sneaking up behind you like that.
01:52:51.000 I also have glasses and real limited peripheral, so it's not...
01:52:54.000 Like, you can sneak up on me in the room that we're in.
01:52:57.000 My wife will sometimes stare at me in the car to see how long it takes me to notice, and then she'll give up.
01:53:02.000 Because I'm not gonna see you over there.
01:53:04.000 I can't...
01:53:05.000 I'm not gonna notice.
01:53:07.000 A little tough game with me.
01:53:09.000 There's a lot of weirdos out there.
01:53:11.000 That's the thing is, you never know.
01:53:12.000 When you hear about that guy that shot Daryl Dimebag on stage, you never know.
01:53:17.000 You might be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
01:53:20.000 So I can understand that he'd be freaked out if this woman was on stage, but a cursory glance at her Would let you understand, oh, there's no reason to give this woman a concussion.
01:53:30.000 She's just a crazy drunk lady.
01:53:32.000 You know, you don't need to fucking molly whop her in the face.
01:53:35.000 Jesus Christ.
01:53:36.000 Pardon me.
01:53:37.000 I bet they had security there, too.
01:53:39.000 Like, you could have probably had another...
01:53:43.000 Maybe.
01:53:43.000 Another plan of action.
01:53:44.000 But if they did have security, she would have never gotten on stage.
01:53:48.000 Ah, fair point.
01:53:50.000 What if the security got high because they were listening to a song because I got high?
01:53:54.000 Like, that song is basically like, I was going to do all of the things I need to do, like pay the rent, pay the bills, I was going to do some stuff, and then he got high.
01:54:02.000 Maybe he got high.
01:54:03.000 Maybe security got high?
01:54:04.000 I don't know.
01:54:05.000 Anything could have happened.
01:54:07.000 Speculation at this point.
01:54:08.000 It's really speculation.
01:54:09.000 Feels like a Monday morning quarterback here.
01:54:12.000 Riff Raff.
01:54:12.000 That's what happens when security is on stage.
01:54:14.000 This fan gets nailed.
01:54:16.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
01:54:19.000 Alright, let's give...
01:54:20.000 Oh my God.
01:54:21.000 Oh my God, he just threw that guy in the crowd.
01:54:23.000 Riff Raff, the white rapper.
01:54:25.000 Let's give him some credit for making it on World Star Hip Hop.
01:54:29.000 Is he white?
01:54:29.000 He is white.
01:54:30.000 Oh, you've not seen Riff Raff?
01:54:32.000 Is that a woman that tackles, that taps him?
01:54:35.000 No, I think it's a fan with some shaggy hair.
01:54:37.000 Let's show that again, because the power double that this dude lands is quite impressive.
01:54:42.000 Watch.
01:54:42.000 The guy taps him.
01:54:44.000 Look at this.
01:54:44.000 Boom!
01:54:45.000 Oh, gosh!
01:54:46.000 That guy probably died.
01:54:48.000 Look how he just throws him in the crowd, too, like he's trash.
01:54:52.000 Don't they have any liability whatsoever for fucking a 300 pound giant human being tackling you like that?
01:54:59.000 So Riff Raff, I've never heard of this fellow before, but he has dreadlocks.
01:55:04.000 Is he related to the woman from Spokane that was the head of the NAACP, perhaps?
01:55:08.000 How crazy is that?
01:55:10.000 It's amazing.
01:55:11.000 Did you ever see the movie Soul Man that was out in the 80s?
01:55:13.000 You know what I love about this?
01:55:15.000 Super progressive people are starting to take her side.
01:55:17.000 The tide has turned and they're starting to say that race is just a social construct.
01:55:23.000 And I've been reading all these articles about how she ran circles around Matt Lauer on the Today Show.
01:55:28.000 All these super progressive left-wing people who are pro-transgender are now starting to accept transracial.
01:55:35.000 They're not fucking around.
01:55:37.000 I never saw that coming.
01:55:38.000 She is running with it.
01:55:39.000 She's running with it.
01:55:40.000 I love it.
01:55:41.000 And one of the things that she said is, I identify as black.
01:55:44.000 So she's been lying about her dad.
01:55:46.000 Like, this guy, she hangs out with, she calls him her dad.
01:55:48.000 He's a black guy.
01:55:49.000 She pretends it's a real dad.
01:55:49.000 Right, her parents are from Montana or something.
01:55:51.000 They're white as fuck.
01:55:52.000 Yeah.
01:55:52.000 They're white as fuck.
01:55:53.000 But she has...
01:55:56.000 That's what she checked on her college application, right?
01:55:58.000 Well, what's amazing about her is she went to Howard University and sued Howard University because sued them for discrimination because she was white.
01:56:08.000 So in the lawsuit, she's saying that she's white.
01:56:11.000 She's like, well, then I identify as white.
01:56:13.000 But I identify as black now.
01:56:17.000 Wow.
01:56:17.000 We live in a crazy time!
01:56:20.000 Donald Trump's gonna be president.
01:56:22.000 No one's black.
01:56:22.000 No one's white.
01:56:23.000 You're whatever the fuck you want to be.
01:56:24.000 You can be anything you want.
01:56:26.000 We live in fantasy land.
01:56:28.000 America.
01:56:29.000 He paid $50 to cheer for him.
01:56:31.000 A president...
01:56:32.000 No, really?
01:56:33.000 Is that true?
01:56:34.000 That he offered actors $50 to cheer from him?
01:56:37.000 Hey, you can't say he's not a businessman.
01:56:38.000 There's a video of him pulling his hair back to reveal that he has real hair.
01:56:41.000 No, no, no way!
01:56:43.000 Look at that.
01:56:45.000 You can see.
01:56:46.000 I love that your fans are that interactive, dude.
01:56:49.000 They're on the ball.
01:56:50.000 Good for you.
01:56:51.000 So, someone must have challenged him on his hair, and so he pulls his hair back.
01:56:55.000 Look, see?
01:56:56.000 He's got fucking hair.
01:56:58.000 He just likes...
01:56:58.000 He basically just moved his bangs, which start at his shoulder blades.
01:57:03.000 But he showed his...
01:57:03.000 Look, he showed his hairline.
01:57:05.000 He does have hair.
01:57:07.000 He just has a wacky fucking thing with hair, like a Don King thing going on.
01:57:11.000 That's fucking hair, man.
01:57:12.000 Okay, that's weird.
01:57:13.000 There's a lot of hairspray in there, and it's obviously thinning.
01:57:17.000 But, you know.
01:57:19.000 For the record, there's nothing wrong with losing your hair.
01:57:21.000 You're talking to a bald guy.
01:57:23.000 It looks great on you.
01:57:24.000 Thank you very much.
01:57:25.000 I've always said if I lose and I want to look like a clown, I might go, like, just dye it.
01:57:29.000 But I think when you get to be a guy like a Don King or a guy like a Donald Trump, that's sort of his look.
01:57:35.000 Like, they commit to that, and then they start thinking that that's their lucky look.
01:57:39.000 Right.
01:57:39.000 That you kind of have to have your hair sticking straight up in the air, or nobody's gonna know it's Don King.
01:57:43.000 Like, if Don King all of a sudden had cornrows, everybody's like, get the fuck out of here, man.
01:57:47.000 You can't have cornrows.
01:57:49.000 Don King!
01:57:49.000 You're Don King!
01:57:50.000 Your shit's supposed to stick straight up in the air!
01:57:52.000 Like a troll doll.
01:57:53.000 I interviewed him recently.
01:57:55.000 What was that like?
01:57:55.000 Oh, it was amazing.
01:57:57.000 I did it for the UFC. It was fucking amazing.
01:57:59.000 That dude's seen some stuff.
01:58:00.000 He doesn't let you talk.
01:58:02.000 First of all, he doesn't answer any questions.
01:58:04.000 Right.
01:58:04.000 You ask him a question.
01:58:06.000 The pontification upon the universal connection that we all share.
01:58:10.000 Like, most of, like, I would ask him a question and he would bring it to women's rights.
01:58:14.000 He would go to, like, he's like...
01:58:16.000 Wow, that's his go-to.
01:58:17.000 Yeah, it was like women's rights and gay rights and it was really strange.
01:58:22.000 It was very strange.
01:58:23.000 It was like he just talks and then he changes subjects in mid-sentence and keeps going and going and going.
01:58:28.000 So you'll ask him a question and you sit there for 10 minutes.
01:58:31.000 And I said, I couldn't imagine being a fucking fighter who has some issues with my contract.
01:58:36.000 I come into your office and I probably have a hard time talking already.
01:58:39.000 Right.
01:58:41.000 Not everybody's as eloquent as that fucking guy.
01:58:43.000 You sit in his office, you know, maybe you're a regular dude who just doesn't know how to phrase shit that good.
01:58:49.000 You sit in his office, you ask him a question, he goes on this fucking 10-minute diatribe about, you know, Rosa Parks and women's rights and, you know, minorities and the white man, and it just keeps going.
01:59:00.000 He just keeps going on and on and on.
01:59:01.000 And I was like, you would confuse the fuck into people.
01:59:05.000 And I brought it up to him.
01:59:06.000 I kind of called him on it.
01:59:07.000 I was like, you're baffling.
01:59:08.000 You're a baffling speaker.
01:59:11.000 It was weird, though, just knowing that, first of all, you're across a guy from a guy who killed a couple people.
01:59:16.000 Yeah, one of them stomped a guy to death for a gambling debt.
01:59:20.000 And one of them I think he got off on, the other one he did some time for.
01:59:24.000 Like, one of them was, like, manslaughter, and the other one was, like, justifiable homicide or something like that.
01:59:31.000 Yeah!
01:59:32.000 That's a real stuff.
01:59:34.000 Cleveland, right?
01:59:35.000 Isn't he from Cleveland?
01:59:36.000 Ohio in the fucking house.
01:59:38.000 Yeah, Don King is a but an interesting guy, nonetheless.
01:59:42.000 Fascinating dude to talk to.
01:59:43.000 Covered in diamonds, by the way.
01:59:45.000 Covered.
01:59:45.000 Yeah, diamond star of David and cross, covering both sides.
01:59:49.000 Just in case.
01:59:50.000 Just in case.
01:59:51.000 And he told me that diamonds are a girl's best friend, that's why he wears diamonds.
01:59:55.000 Diamonds on his rings, diamonds on his chains, like...
01:59:59.000 Do you find yourself, when you're on tour, a lot of times when you make it back to a hotel room late on a Saturday night, that Lockup is the only show on television?
02:00:07.000 That show's great.
02:00:09.000 Lockup's one of those shows that when I travel, especially going to NASCAR races, I don't know why they're always on Saturday night, and I feel like, what if these dudes were one wrong car on the interstate away from just being a normal person, and then just snapped, and now I'm watching them?
02:00:24.000 In a federal pen.
02:00:26.000 Okay, so the two dudes that got out.
02:00:28.000 You're hearing about that.
02:00:29.000 The two dudes escaped from New York.
02:00:31.000 I learned late yesterday that the reason that chick helped him was because they told her they were going to kill her husband.
02:00:37.000 Really?
02:00:38.000 She wanted her husband dead, so that's why she was helping him get out, because they said they would go kill her husband.
02:00:42.000 What?
02:00:44.000 And then my next thought is, well, were they hooking up with her?
02:00:47.000 Because I would assume there's got to be some sort of weird love triangle, right?
02:00:51.000 Well, apparently the younger guy, the word is he had a giant hog.
02:00:54.000 How does that come out?
02:00:56.000 It just comes out.
02:00:57.000 Well, everyone's going to want to know.
02:00:58.000 You look at the girl.
02:00:59.000 She's quite the ugly duckling.
02:01:01.000 And, you know, you figure, well, she's inside the prison.
02:01:04.000 She probably gets to talking to these guys.
02:01:06.000 She's probably lonely.
02:01:07.000 You know, they make friends.
02:01:09.000 Slowly but surely, the guy works his way in, shows her his giant hog.
02:01:14.000 Suddenly she wants her husband dead.
02:01:15.000 Let me ask you a question.
02:01:16.000 Okay.
02:01:16.000 Just as two guys talking.
02:01:17.000 Okay.
02:01:18.000 You ever heard, hey, there's a prison break, and your first thought is, I wonder how big this guy is downstairs.
02:01:23.000 Never, right?
02:01:24.000 Well, when a woman's involved, though, if the woman helped him get out, you're like, well, what did he have to offer?
02:01:30.000 Did he have a fucking giant snake?
02:01:32.000 Maybe he was a great dancer.
02:01:33.000 Maybe he was just a sweet talker and knew a lot about poetry.
02:01:36.000 Yeah.
02:01:36.000 And you look at her and she's just sad and unkempt and neglected.
02:01:42.000 All of the above.
02:01:43.000 Just her whole body is just a tragedy.
02:01:46.000 You don't feel like John Mayer wrote Your Body's a Wonderland about her?
02:01:49.000 It is kind of a wonderland to wonder how the heart keeps beating.
02:01:53.000 She doesn't climb to the top of the fucking tower where they shoot prisoners and just jump off face first into the basketball court.
02:01:59.000 Yeah, what keeps you going, honey?
02:02:01.000 Well, I was hoping this guy would shoot my husband and give me some giant dick.
02:02:08.000 Well, it's amazing that they haven't caught them yet.
02:02:10.000 Right?
02:02:11.000 And that they're still out there.
02:02:12.000 What are those guys doing?
02:02:14.000 Probably they're learning French and walking into Canada.
02:02:18.000 You think so?
02:02:19.000 Yeah, that's what I would do.
02:02:20.000 If I was in upstate New York, I would think the best way...
02:02:23.000 Canada, if you go to Quebec...
02:02:26.000 They're very divorced from American culture in a lot of ways.
02:02:30.000 In a strange way.
02:02:32.000 Toronto's not.
02:02:33.000 Toronto, we understand that their mayor's a crackhead.
02:02:36.000 They know all about our presidents.
02:02:38.000 When I go to Toronto, it seems like I'm in America.
02:02:43.000 The people are nicer.
02:02:44.000 It's very similar to America.
02:02:46.000 But Montreal is not.
02:02:48.000 Montreal is a very international-feeling city.
02:02:50.000 And the outside of Montreal, Quebec, that whole area, the French-speaking area, They have completely different stars.
02:02:59.000 They have singers that you've never heard of that are huge that play stadiums.
02:03:03.000 They have comedians that a lot of them would steal like English jokes and they would translate them into French and they would go on tour throughout the French speaking areas and do their comedy routines.
02:03:17.000 And they have a whole different world.
02:03:19.000 They speak French.
02:03:20.000 A lot of them exclusively speak French in a lot of the areas.
02:03:25.000 You have to have French on the signs of the buildings.
02:03:28.000 When you go to Montreal, everything's in French.
02:03:31.000 Even Kentucky Fried Chicken, they don't have KFC. It's PFC. It's Poulet Fried Chicken.
02:03:38.000 You know, this poulet is like chicken fried chicken.
02:03:40.000 I would not do well there.
02:03:41.000 No.
02:03:42.000 Well, you'd learn French.
02:03:43.000 You know, they're lovely people.
02:03:45.000 I mean, I guess if I had broken out of prison.
02:03:46.000 Yeah, I would think that that would be the move, though.
02:03:48.000 You go up there, you learn French, and get a labor job.
02:03:53.000 Get some French on tape.
02:03:54.000 But you'd get sick of it.
02:03:55.000 Do you think they have Rosetta Stone when you've escaped from prison?
02:03:57.000 I bet you could learn in prison, and I bet if the guy was learning French, they would say, this motherfucker is probably learning, so he wants to escape to Quebec.
02:04:06.000 He's talking to his new girlfriend, who hates her husband.
02:04:09.000 He's like, hey, why don't you Rosetta Stone meet some French?
02:04:12.000 Me and Tommy, we'll get out.
02:04:14.000 Yeah.
02:04:15.000 Take care of your husband.
02:04:16.000 Little Walkman or something?
02:04:17.000 Yeah.
02:04:17.000 We'll meet you in French-speaking Canada.
02:04:20.000 How much could you really learn from one of those Rosetta Stone things, though?
02:04:24.000 I mean, to really learn a language, it seems like it's a long process.
02:04:27.000 It does seem that way.
02:04:29.000 Do you know anything?
02:04:30.000 Do you not speak anything?
02:04:31.000 I know a tiny bit of Spanish.
02:04:32.000 Took two years.
02:04:34.000 Dos años.
02:04:35.000 I took two years of Italian.
02:04:36.000 I don't know a word of it anymore.
02:04:39.000 That's a nice language though.
02:04:41.000 Yeah.
02:04:41.000 I just don't understand it at all.
02:04:44.000 I didn't pay attention.
02:04:45.000 I have enough trouble with this language that we're speaking.
02:04:48.000 It's really enough hurdles there.
02:04:51.000 Speaking English.
02:04:53.000 I would be amiss if I talked to you and didn't talk about the Jeremy Clarkson tragedy.
02:04:59.000 Oh sure.
02:05:00.000 Because the real Top Gear, original Top Gear, rather, in England, which was Jeremy Clarkson, Richard May, and...
02:05:10.000 James May.
02:05:11.000 James May and Richard Hammel.
02:05:13.000 Hammond?
02:05:13.000 Hammond.
02:05:14.000 They call him the hamster.
02:05:15.000 Yeah.
02:05:15.000 Sweet dude.
02:05:16.000 Hilarious folks.
02:05:17.000 They're nice, work together.
02:05:19.000 And that's a tough act to follow, right?
02:05:21.000 I mean, it's a long-running show.
02:05:23.000 They've been on for decades.
02:05:24.000 The most popular international show, I think.
02:05:27.000 Isn't it?
02:05:28.000 Yeah.
02:05:28.000 And they said it was the most viewed show in the world.
02:05:32.000 When you looked at, I guess, CBS Sunday Morning did an awesome kind of, no, it was 60 Minutes, I'm sorry, 60 Minutes was talking about it, based on downloads, both legal and illegal, and then how many shows, how many countries the show airs in.
02:05:46.000 Like, our Top Gear U.S. airs in like 100 countries.
02:05:49.000 Theirs was in like 170 countries.
02:05:51.000 Yeah.
02:05:53.000 So yeah, it's a big...
02:05:54.000 Huge.
02:05:54.000 And you kind of hinted to it before about, like, you know, it's a big act to follow.
02:05:58.000 We knew when we got ours that we couldn't pretend to be the three of those.
02:06:03.000 We were never going to do that.
02:06:04.000 We were going to have to be our three guys.
02:06:07.000 And we knew that there's this kind of core group.
02:06:10.000 We call them UK fanboys.
02:06:12.000 And they got really upset that we were doing an American version because they felt like they were the only ones that knew about the UK show, not realizing how many people around the world saw it.
02:06:22.000 They felt like, I've got this special unicorn no one knows about, I'm super awesome.
02:06:26.000 Well, it turns out, we were just taking the kind of foundation of it, and it's three people in cars, right?
02:06:33.000 So we're going to go do our own thing.
02:06:35.000 We started with some of the same kind of fundamental ideas, did everything different.
02:06:39.000 We didn't like...
02:06:40.000 Our producers would come up with crazy things for us to do, but we didn't know about them.
02:06:44.000 We just went and they wanted to watch us squirm and go have fun.
02:06:47.000 But what's happening now is they announced today, I think, Chris...
02:06:52.000 Is it Chris Evans?
02:06:53.000 Is that the guy's name?
02:06:54.000 Who I guess is like a morning host or their show or DJ or something.
02:06:59.000 A popular guy is going to be the new host of Top Gear UK, which they will relaunch and kind of re...
02:07:06.000 I'm not saying they'll reformat.
02:07:07.000 I assume he's going to have two people with him.
02:07:09.000 But sort of the rebirth.
02:07:11.000 So, James May is not going to be on anymore?
02:07:13.000 Correct.
02:07:14.000 Richard Hamm is not going to be on anymore?
02:07:15.000 Correct.
02:07:15.000 Whoa.
02:07:16.000 I think the two of them said, we will stand with Clarkson.
02:07:20.000 This is our group.
02:07:21.000 This is what Top Gear is to us.
02:07:25.000 So, when everything went down, and I've never met Clarkson, I've only met Hammond, and he and I are pals.
02:07:33.000 Really great guy.
02:07:34.000 I think it's one of those things where he'd gotten in so much trouble before over the things he had said, which is also, like, it's weird because that's the same reason people watch him.
02:07:42.000 Yeah.
02:07:43.000 You know, it's like when comedians get in trouble for being funny.
02:07:46.000 Right.
02:07:46.000 But that's what you wanted.
02:07:47.000 Yeah.
02:07:49.000 I'm not making any kind of excuse for that, but I think it's a real bummer what happened.
02:07:54.000 And, you know, everybody has bad days, but when he flipped out, he flipped out on this producer who's a great guy.
02:07:58.000 I've met him before.
02:07:59.000 And what happened?
02:08:01.000 Apparently they'd had, like, a long day, and there was some sort of dispute...
02:08:05.000 Excuse me about dinner or whether something should be cold there was cold cuts instead of like a hot steak or something I wasn't there and no one talks about it in our Like group everyone's very sensitive because I didn't know whether overnight that would screw up our show because the worldwide brand is it's very important to to everybody that's a part of it and so I think he just had a real bad evening and he took it out on somebody and that cost him
02:08:35.000 his job.
02:08:36.000 So did he beat the guy up?
02:08:37.000 Is that what he did?
02:08:38.000 I think so.
02:08:39.000 I think he punched him.
02:08:40.000 I don't know if he beat him up.
02:08:42.000 That just doesn't seem like...
02:08:43.000 When you watch that show and you watch that guy, he's like this fun-loving, hilarious dude.
02:08:49.000 I just have a hard time seeing him beating somebody up.
02:08:52.000 Yeah, I don't know.
02:08:53.000 I mean, I just read the same stuff everybody else did, that there was some sort of verbal altercation and then a physical altercation.
02:09:01.000 I don't know what that means.
02:09:02.000 I know it's a bummer for everybody that was involved, because it's certainly not something that...
02:09:07.000 I mean, he obviously was very upset and ashamed that happened, as was the producer and everybody else.
02:09:13.000 It just was one of those things that happened sometimes, and you realize it sucks for every single person involved.
02:09:18.000 So why'd they fire him?
02:09:19.000 I think because of all the things he had been in trouble for before that.
02:09:24.000 Yeah, but are they retarded?
02:09:25.000 Do they not understand what's going on?
02:09:27.000 I mean, there's a reason why the show is popular, and it's because that guy is a very unique and bizarre character.
02:09:33.000 Right.
02:09:33.000 That is the main reason that show's popular, is Jeremy Clarkson.
02:09:36.000 Sure.
02:09:36.000 I mean, Richard Hammond is great, and James May is great, but on their own, they're starving to death, let's be honest.
02:09:41.000 It's an ensemble.
02:09:43.000 I'm rude.
02:09:44.000 It's a group.
02:09:45.000 It is an ensemble, but Jeremy Clarkson is the funny one.
02:09:48.000 And he's like the heart and soul.
02:09:50.000 He wrote a ton of the different...
02:09:52.000 Because he, from the journalist's side, writes so much about the stuff that they do.
02:09:58.000 The Porsche people hate him.
02:09:59.000 There's a lot of people from the manufacturers that don't like him, which is funny because sometimes people wouldn't want to loan us cars because things that they had done.
02:10:09.000 Well, the Chrysler, remember they had those three cars they drove across America?
02:10:12.000 Chrysler didn't want to give them a Challenger.
02:10:14.000 So they bought one.
02:10:15.000 My friend was a producer that had to pay for it, and then the show paid him back.
02:10:20.000 That's hilarious.
02:10:21.000 They just had things like that that would happen.
02:10:24.000 Richard Hamill is actually very funny.
02:10:26.000 I'm just fucking around saying that they would both starve to death.
02:10:28.000 They're good together, but they're better with him, like as a threesome.
02:10:32.000 So are they gonna try to launch a new show, the three of them together?
02:10:35.000 That's what I heard.
02:10:36.000 They have to.
02:10:37.000 The name is not important.
02:10:39.000 Right.
02:10:40.000 And so right now they're doing a, they would go and do these kind of live show events.
02:10:44.000 I've never done one here.
02:10:45.000 They wanted to do one with us and them, kind of a combo thing, and then we never, nobody really moved on it.
02:10:50.000 But they were in, because Ken Block was helping them out in South Africa this week, they did like six shows, and they're calling it like Clarkson Hammond May Live or something, because they can't use the name.
02:11:00.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
02:11:01.000 Top Gear Live.
02:11:02.000 Right.
02:11:02.000 So I hope they'll keep doing something fun together.
02:11:06.000 They're funny guys.
02:11:07.000 Yeah, they're great together.
02:11:08.000 Hammond's got a sweet Mustang.
02:11:10.000 Have you seen his Mustang?
02:11:11.000 He's got some killer toys.
02:11:13.000 He's a helicopter guy too.
02:11:14.000 He lives in like a castle.
02:11:15.000 I'm sure.
02:11:16.000 How much money did they make off that show?
02:11:18.000 I think they did pretty well.
02:11:20.000 Maybe they got just a hair more than we have.
02:11:23.000 Says the guy with two other jobs.
02:11:25.000 He lives way out far somewhere, which I think is also why he has a helicopter.
02:11:30.000 But Hammond's got a bunch of kids shows that he produces.
02:11:33.000 Really?
02:11:34.000 Yeah, so he's got kind of his other thing.
02:11:37.000 And I don't know what May does the rest of the time when they're not...
02:11:40.000 He makes YouTube videos.
02:11:42.000 He makes a lot of YouTube videos in his downtime.
02:11:44.000 About being unemployed and cooking, which are funny.
02:11:46.000 Playing the recorder.
02:11:47.000 Yeah, like a really talented musician, apparently.
02:11:51.000 But those guys, we got to do, when they were launching our show over there, we got to go to this British television thing where they put us up, and they had this party, like Top Gear USA. So they tried to make the most American-themed evening they could.
02:12:06.000 So there's glass Coke bottles on every table, and Jack Daniels.
02:12:12.000 And then the girls, they had girls in like Daisy Dukes with cowboy boots and American flag bandanas on, and they had like a holster with Jack Daniels and shot glasses.
02:12:21.000 That's hilarious.
02:12:22.000 That was a fun time.
02:12:24.000 That was a fun time.
02:12:26.000 Tanner, I think, was single at the time, and I'm a pretty good wingman because my wife loves me, so I can just be an idiot publicly and not worry about it.
02:12:33.000 So the whole time I was like, you guys know that's Tanner Faust over there.
02:12:36.000 You know, he's got a couple gold medals from X Games.
02:12:40.000 I don't know if you have that here.
02:12:41.000 They give medals?
02:12:41.000 X Games gives medals?
02:12:42.000 They do.
02:12:42.000 Yeah.
02:12:43.000 Can't give medals.
02:12:45.000 Unless you're in the Olympics.
02:12:46.000 It's like a Casio G-Shock that they dipped in gold chrome.
02:12:50.000 That's not true.
02:12:51.000 I don't know that for sure.
02:12:52.000 I have experience in taking over a show that was a beloved show because I took over the Man Show for a couple years with Doug Stanhope.
02:12:59.000 We got tortured.
02:13:01.000 Rightly so in a lot of ways.
02:13:03.000 It was kind of a disaster.
02:13:04.000 The show wasn't what we wanted it to be at all.
02:13:07.000 It was fun.
02:13:07.000 It's funny.
02:13:08.000 We got fucked over because we came in under false pretenses.
02:13:12.000 They kind of told us that they were going to make this wild show.
02:13:14.000 You know, have nudity, we'll blur it out.
02:13:16.000 Swear, we'll beep it out.
02:13:17.000 We want to get sued.
02:13:18.000 We're crazy.
02:13:19.000 And then right when we started doing it, Janet Jackson pulled her nipple out during the Super Bowl.
02:13:24.000 Oh, the slip.
02:13:24.000 The old JT, yeah.
02:13:25.000 Yeah.
02:13:26.000 Slip.
02:13:27.000 The plan was slip.
02:13:28.000 Isn't it amazing that that generated...
02:13:30.000 It still, to this day, just hurts my brain that everybody got so upset that they saw a nipple on television.
02:13:37.000 Right?
02:13:38.000 I quite enjoyed the show.
02:13:39.000 But it just doesn't make any sense.
02:13:41.000 Like, if it was a man's nipple, no one would care.
02:13:43.000 But it's Janet Jackson's nipple.
02:13:44.000 She's a woman!
02:13:46.000 Like, it's still just a nipple.
02:13:48.000 Steven Tyler showed his nipple on that probably every time they did a halftime show.
02:13:52.000 Exactly!
02:13:53.000 What's the big deal?
02:13:53.000 Yeah.
02:13:54.000 I mean, is it because it's a female?
02:13:55.000 It's a sexual thing?
02:13:57.000 Poor Justin Timberlake had to say, I didn't even know that was gonna happen, y'all.
02:14:01.000 I was like, I was just dancing.
02:14:02.000 He pulled it off.
02:14:02.000 He pulled the nipple.
02:14:03.000 He pulled the clothes off.
02:14:04.000 He knew what the fuck was going on.
02:14:06.000 Yeah.
02:14:06.000 But how weird is it that a nipple is like, for a woman, it's like super taboo.
02:14:11.000 For a dude, it's nothing.
02:14:13.000 No problem.
02:14:14.000 Yeah.
02:14:14.000 Isn't that strange?
02:14:15.000 Well, Ari, my friend Ari Shafir lives in New York City during the summertime, and he takes his shirt off every day of the week.
02:14:21.000 He just walks down the street with his shirt off because they have laws in New York.
02:14:24.000 You're allowed to do that.
02:14:25.000 But because they have laws like that, they can't sexually discriminate.
02:14:30.000 So women are allowed to take their shirts off, too.
02:14:33.000 So women can walk down the street topless, and occasionally they do.
02:14:36.000 And there's like this naked cowgirl.
02:14:38.000 You know how they have that naked cowboy?
02:14:40.000 Yeah, I was him for Halloween one year.
02:14:42.000 Ha, ha, ha, ha.
02:14:43.000 Were you really?
02:14:44.000 I was.
02:14:45.000 It was a tough costume.
02:14:46.000 It was cold that year.
02:14:48.000 We're built slightly differently.
02:14:49.000 He's a handsome man.
02:14:50.000 Me and the naked cowboy.
02:14:51.000 Well built fella.
02:14:52.000 He's a strong businessman too.
02:14:54.000 He makes a lot of money off that shit.
02:14:55.000 What's he doing?
02:14:56.000 He's suing this woman because she was doing the exact same act.
02:14:59.000 She was the naked cowgirl.
02:15:00.000 But she's topless.
02:15:01.000 There he is.
02:15:02.000 The naked cowgirl.
02:15:03.000 Good for her.
02:15:04.000 This is a different one, I think.
02:15:05.000 I think there's more than one naked cowgirl.
02:15:07.000 Good for her.
02:15:08.000 But she has to have pasties on?
02:15:09.000 Is that the deal?
02:15:10.000 Because in Manhattan, I'm pretty sure the law is that a woman can walk down the street naked with her top out, rather.
02:15:19.000 You can't have your vagina out.
02:15:21.000 But you can have your nipples out.
02:15:23.000 Because men can't.
02:15:24.000 We were fucking so strange.
02:15:26.000 What a great law, though.
02:15:27.000 Good for them.
02:15:28.000 You know?
02:15:29.000 There's some equality.
02:15:30.000 Yeah.
02:15:31.000 Topless all around.
02:15:32.000 I say, go for it.
02:15:33.000 Why not?
02:15:34.000 It's just nipples.
02:15:35.000 Even if it was a nipple, the whole idea of clothes is just preposterous.
02:15:39.000 If you don't want to wear them, I don't give a fuck.
02:15:40.000 As long as you don't rub your dick on anybody or get weird, who cares?
02:15:44.000 You know?
02:15:44.000 Suns out, guns out.
02:15:46.000 Yeah, if your kid freaks out, you gotta explain to him.
02:15:48.000 You get some talking to that little guy.
02:15:50.000 Say, hey, look, buddy.
02:15:51.000 This is...
02:15:52.000 Some people are freaks.
02:15:53.000 They like weird shit.
02:15:54.000 They want you to look at their dick, okay?
02:15:55.000 You don't have to look at it.
02:15:56.000 They're not going to force you.
02:15:58.000 Sometimes your parents are going to take you to the worst Raggedy Ann and Andy parade you'll ever see, and you need to not shout that afterwards.
02:16:05.000 Exactly.
02:16:06.000 Just checks and balances.
02:16:07.000 Sometimes shit gets weird.
02:16:09.000 Also, Bigfoot's not real.
02:16:11.000 And that lady's not black.
02:16:13.000 She's white, but she identifies as black.
02:16:15.000 She's just wearing a lot of bronzer.
02:16:17.000 And that used to be a man.
02:16:17.000 He used to be a man.
02:16:18.000 He won the decathlon in the Olympics, and he had children, and then decided he was a woman.
02:16:23.000 So now we have to call him Caitlyn.
02:16:24.000 Hey, smoke him if you got him.
02:16:27.000 Exactly, right?
02:16:28.000 Exactly.
02:16:28.000 It's an interesting thing when you have to make sure everybody knows, look, everybody's got a right to be happy, but everybody does not have a right to be completely out of their mind crazy.
02:16:39.000 And somewhere we will find that line.
02:16:42.000 I say you do have a right to be completely out of your mind crazy as long as it doesn't interfere with someone else's happiness.
02:16:50.000 Like say if you're a neighbor and you're completely out of your mind crazy and you're like sticking fireworks up your ass and doing cartwheels but you live in a dry area and you could potentially start fires.
02:16:59.000 Yeah.
02:17:00.000 Right?
02:17:02.000 Then, this is all logical, right?
02:17:05.000 What a fantastic analogy.
02:17:05.000 Right?
02:17:06.000 Then your craziness is interfering with people's health and safety.
02:17:09.000 So I would say that guy, no.
02:17:12.000 That guy can't.
02:17:13.000 He can't be that crazy.
02:17:14.000 That's too crazy.
02:17:15.000 I like the guy with fireworks up his butt.
02:17:17.000 Totally cool.
02:17:18.000 Listen, is this a burn sensitive area?
02:17:21.000 Yeah.
02:17:21.000 Not cool, pal.
02:17:22.000 This is California.
02:17:23.000 We have a drought going on right now, man.
02:17:25.000 You know what I found out that's really interesting?
02:17:28.000 They're paying people in California to take out their lawns and put in what they call hardscape.
02:17:33.000 They give you money and you put like rocks and cactuses and shit.
02:17:37.000 And grass you can vacuum?
02:17:40.000 Yeah, I've seen that too.
02:17:41.000 Right, the plastic turf?
02:17:42.000 I drove down the street the other day and there was a sign up for a company that does, are they calling it hardscape?
02:17:48.000 Is that what they're calling it?
02:17:48.000 I think you get like tax rebates and whatnot for it too.
02:17:51.000 I think they actually give you money.
02:17:52.000 I think that they, find out about that because me and- You're interested?
02:17:57.000 You want to think about it?
02:17:58.000 No.
02:17:58.000 You found enough of grass and bushes?
02:18:00.000 Well, you know what?
02:18:00.000 I fucking passed by, is it Pepperdine?
02:18:03.000 Whatever the ones in Malibu.
02:18:04.000 Oh, isn't that nice?
02:18:05.000 That is a goddamn enormous lawn that you're watering for Jesus.
02:18:10.000 It's a big religious college.
02:18:12.000 I've rolled down that hill before.
02:18:13.000 Have you?
02:18:13.000 It's fun.
02:18:14.000 For Top Gear?
02:18:15.000 No.
02:18:16.000 I think it was just for fun with my family.
02:18:18.000 Oh, no, I was shooting an RV commercial.
02:18:20.000 Oh.
02:18:21.000 Still did it for fun.
02:18:22.000 A lot of fucking water gets used on that goddamn town.
02:18:24.000 Nice grass.
02:18:25.000 If they're listening, kudos.
02:18:27.000 You cannot be taxed.
02:18:28.000 You cannot be taxed?
02:18:30.000 Not being taxed on the rebate, which can range as much as $3,000.
02:18:34.000 Whoa!
02:18:35.000 So you get a free three grand.
02:18:37.000 No, I think you're saying they just won't tax you on the three grand.
02:18:41.000 Is that what you mean?
02:18:43.000 No, because you get a rebate.
02:18:45.000 You get a rebate.
02:18:46.000 You get money.
02:18:47.000 Oh, good.
02:18:47.000 And then you can't be taxed on the money, I think is what he's saying, right?
02:18:49.000 Is that what you're saying?
02:18:50.000 Rebates received by homeowners for replacing their lawns with drought-tolerant landscaping will not be counted as income.
02:18:55.000 So it doesn't say exactly how much, but it probably is depending on how much land you have.
02:18:58.000 Right.
02:18:58.000 That makes sense.
02:19:00.000 But the thing that's fucked is golf courses.
02:19:03.000 I mean, that is...
02:19:04.000 I get that you like to play golf.
02:19:06.000 I like to play pool.
02:19:07.000 I understand.
02:19:08.000 I get addictions.
02:19:09.000 But your addiction is using up a lot of fucking water.
02:19:14.000 And apparently, in some Middle Eastern countries, they play a version of golf on oiled sand.
02:19:21.000 Really?
02:19:22.000 They have sand, and they put some sort of oil on the sand, and the way the ball reacts is very similar to the way a ball would react on grass.
02:19:30.000 See if you can find that.
02:19:32.000 Someone was just explaining that to me the other day.
02:19:34.000 I never bothered looking it up.
02:19:36.000 I just said, I don't know.
02:19:38.000 That sounds like a great idea.
02:19:39.000 Well, except a lot of those assholes like those divots.
02:19:43.000 Those big chunks of grass that go flying through the air.
02:19:46.000 Right.
02:19:47.000 Then what?
02:19:47.000 Yeah.
02:19:48.000 Then what are you gonna do?
02:19:49.000 Is this it?
02:19:49.000 Yeah.
02:19:51.000 Okay.
02:19:52.000 Disgusting.
02:19:54.000 It'd be a tough place to wear a lot of white colors.
02:19:56.000 Where do golf, blue stones, what does that say?
02:20:00.000 Grassland greens.
02:20:02.000 Used motor oil to make putting possible.
02:20:05.000 Huh.
02:20:06.000 Whoa.
02:20:07.000 Now, I've been to a lot of tracks that will use motor oil from all the tractors and stuff to put it on top of gravel to basically keep dust down.
02:20:17.000 So it's like that idea magnified, I guess.
02:20:21.000 Yeah, I think that just, they're putting, right?
02:20:25.000 Is that what they're doing?
02:20:26.000 It's a tough gig.
02:20:27.000 Tough gig right there.
02:20:29.000 I'm not that good at golf.
02:20:30.000 I've never played it.
02:20:31.000 Really?
02:20:32.000 Yeah, never.
02:20:33.000 The best part?
02:20:34.000 Golf carts.
02:20:35.000 Yes.
02:20:35.000 That's really, like my dad, when he would go play golf, I would always go with him as a kid because I was like, yeah, can I drive the golf cart?
02:20:41.000 And then when there's a water hole, then I would take his little ball finder and just swim with a little stick and try to get as many balls as I could.
02:20:48.000 I have a friend of mine who has a ranch in California, and he has golf courts.
02:20:52.000 He just drives golf carts around his ranch.
02:20:54.000 He lets his little kids take the golf cart.
02:20:56.000 His daughter was like 10. She was driving us around this fucking golf cart around the ranch.
02:21:00.000 It's great.
02:21:00.000 The town I live in, you can have golf carts.
02:21:03.000 Really?
02:21:03.000 Yeah.
02:21:03.000 Oh, you must have lived in a little tiny place.
02:21:05.000 I do.
02:21:06.000 That's cool.
02:21:06.000 I grew up in this town called Peachtree City in Georgia.
02:21:08.000 It's south of Atlanta.
02:21:09.000 It's built on five golf courses.
02:21:11.000 And the idea was that you could get to any of these little miniature neighborhoods on a golf cart.
02:21:16.000 So there's 100 miles of golf cart path there.
02:21:18.000 So if we're at my house and you want to go to dinner, we can just get on the golf cart.
02:21:22.000 Wow.
02:21:22.000 It's a little bit like the movie The Truman Show.
02:21:24.000 You definitely feel like there's a bubble over it, but it's also a golf cart, so it's really fun.
02:21:28.000 That's kind of cool.
02:21:30.000 And you can soup them up.
02:21:31.000 I built a golf cart on my new show, but it's a 69 Subaru 360 van, a micro car, and I built it on a golf cart chassis.
02:21:39.000 It's got a 20 horsepower single cylinder engine.
02:21:42.000 The thing about golf courses is pesticides.
02:21:46.000 And I know a dude who got bone cancer, and a lot of people in his neighborhood got bone cancer because the water from the pesticides, the water got contaminated in the wells.
02:21:55.000 And, like, a lot of people in his neighborhood all got cancer.
02:21:59.000 Oh, that's not fun at all.
02:22:01.000 Yeah, pesticides are...
02:22:02.000 There's just the term pesticide.
02:22:06.000 Pest.
02:22:07.000 Like, it's just poison.
02:22:08.000 Just call it what the fuck it is.
02:22:10.000 Why are you calling it pesticides?
02:22:11.000 You're poisoning bugs.
02:22:13.000 Bugs are tough.
02:22:14.000 I mean, roaches are gonna be after the fucking nuclear bombs go off and you're killing them with some chemicals and you leave that shit in the grass and it gets through the ground and seeps into the water and then people drink the water and they get sick as fuck.
02:22:26.000 Right.
02:22:27.000 Pesticides are just...
02:22:28.000 That's a creepy thing that we do.
02:22:29.000 That loop seems pretty obvious to us, doesn't it?
02:22:31.000 Pretty goddamn obvious.
02:22:32.000 And yet we just go...
02:22:33.000 But the people that live in the golf course or near the golf course, they didn't even think about it.
02:22:37.000 They just let it seep into the well water.
02:22:39.000 Well, because it looks real pretty.
02:22:41.000 Yeah.
02:22:42.000 That's the only way to keep it pretty.
02:22:43.000 You gotta keep killing bugs.
02:22:45.000 Just keep...
02:22:46.000 What after, right?
02:22:47.000 Just keep poisoning them, spraying them.
02:22:49.000 It's brutal.
02:22:51.000 Yeah.
02:22:53.000 One of the pesticides...
02:22:54.000 I'm listening to this Radiolab podcast.
02:22:57.000 The way they figured out how to use poison gas in the concentration camps, they used Zyklon B. And Zyklon A was originally developed as a pesticide.
02:23:10.000 And so they used this gas.
02:23:12.000 Zyklon A had a particular aroma to it to alert anyone that was near it or handling it that it was very dangerous.
02:23:18.000 So the Nazis re-engineered Zyklon A and turned it into a Zyklon B and took out the smell and started using it as gas in the concentration camps.
02:23:28.000 Designed, Zyklon A, by a Jew.
02:23:30.000 Not only that, a Jew who was one of the first guys to figure, or the guy, figured out how to pull nitrogen out of the air.
02:23:37.000 Like, a big majority of the particles in the air apparently are nitrogen.
02:23:41.000 And nitrogen is very difficult to get, you know, for fertilizer and stuff like that, it's very difficult to acquire, but necessary in order to grow plants.
02:23:49.000 And so this guy, Hopper, Fritz Hopper, figured out how to pull it out of the air and use it for fertilizer.
02:23:57.000 And apparently that method that he developed in 1910 or some shit like that during World War I, that method is still being used today.
02:24:05.000 And like half of the food that people eat in the world is fertilized from this Hopper method.
02:24:13.000 Same guy who developed Zyklon B, or Zyklon A, at least.
02:24:16.000 I feel like if they ever need to go in front of Congress and talk about the legalization of marijuana, I think we could take a video clip of that last 45 seconds of you telling me that story, and then people would be like, well, if he can remember all that and he smokes weed, we should probably just let it go.
02:24:33.000 That's the kind of podcast that you relax and listen to?
02:24:36.000 That's the shit that I listen to, yeah.
02:24:38.000 Wow, man.
02:24:38.000 I love that stuff, yeah.
02:24:39.000 That, History Podcast, I love those.
02:24:41.000 I just love fascinating information.
02:24:45.000 I love any information that makes me go, what the fuck?
02:24:48.000 Right.
02:24:48.000 Anything like that, you know?
02:24:50.000 Pot does not fuck with your memory.
02:24:52.000 It fucks with your memory about shit you were just talking about.
02:24:54.000 I don't mean like that.
02:24:55.000 But it does.
02:24:56.000 I just mean that's what you just laid down was brilliant.
02:25:00.000 Well, what's interesting is the guy also was one of the first people that used gas in warfare.
02:25:06.000 And he used this, I think it was a chlorine gas.
02:25:09.000 He used it on the English and the Canadians.
02:25:13.000 I think it was the English and the Canadians that they used it on.
02:25:16.000 But he was being...
02:25:19.000 They thought of him, the United States was addressing him as a war criminal at the same time they were using his fertilization methods.
02:25:26.000 It seems like it's got to be one or the other, right?
02:25:29.000 He was a very, very complex guy.
02:25:31.000 He was a very complex guy.
02:25:32.000 He wasn't a good guy, but he was brilliant in a lot of ways.
02:25:37.000 The Radiolab podcast, when anyone's interested, it's called The Bad Show.
02:25:42.000 And it is about a lot of people that did a lot of really awful things.
02:25:47.000 And he's just one of the many stories.
02:25:51.000 But I've been on this World War I kick lately.
02:25:54.000 Sure.
02:25:54.000 Because of Dan Carlin.
02:25:56.000 He's got this podcast called Hardcore History.
02:25:58.000 And he has this whole World War I series that's going on right now.
02:26:02.000 He just put the final, I think it's the final episode out.
02:26:05.000 It's fucking amazing!
02:26:07.000 It's just so crazy.
02:26:08.000 That World War I was just such a, for me, a war that I never really thought about, never really looked into it.
02:26:15.000 And I've just been really getting into it lately because of these podcasts.
02:26:18.000 So yeah, Pot doesn't really fuck with your memory.
02:26:21.000 I just meant that was what you laid down and the...
02:26:27.000 There's a lot of layers to that, and I just thought, I was just sitting here thinking, that's really impressive.
02:26:33.000 Yeah, but if you asked me about something about 10 minutes ago, I'd be like, what?
02:26:35.000 What the fuck were we talking about?
02:26:37.000 Or just 10 seconds ago, what was I just talking about?
02:26:39.000 Whatever.
02:26:40.000 I feel like I'm turning my dad, and I just can't remember things.
02:26:43.000 Really?
02:26:44.000 Yeah, like my dad will, like my friend that's a pilot, Martin, my dad has met Martin.
02:26:49.000 I say met because he's introducing himself each time as a new time, 30 times.
02:26:55.000 And I'm like, Dad, that's Martin.
02:26:57.000 Nice to meet you!
02:26:58.000 Yeah, the teacher, right?
02:26:59.000 No, he's a pilot.
02:27:00.000 He's always been a pilot.
02:27:02.000 If your dad ever meets Martin and says, good to see you, then I'll know my dad's an actor.
02:27:06.000 Yeah.
02:27:07.000 You need some fucking alpha brain, son.
02:27:08.000 I gotta get you some of this stuff.
02:27:10.000 This is cognitive-enhancing supplements.
02:27:13.000 Really good for memory.
02:27:14.000 Double-blind placebo-tested.
02:27:16.000 I wasn't kidding when I said I really enjoyed watching you on Instagram and the stuff that you're into.
02:27:21.000 I dig because you're very honest about who you are, so you don't split hairs about, like, yeah, this stuff is cool.
02:27:28.000 I want to learn more about it.
02:27:29.000 And you'll ask people.
02:27:30.000 You have genuine interest in feedback and stuff like that.
02:27:32.000 That's what I dig, because there's so many people that are like...
02:27:36.000 They wouldn't want to say, like, I had a Coca-Cola Classic at lunch today because someone's going to tell them there's, like, corn syrup in there.
02:27:41.000 Right.
02:27:42.000 We're living that kind of like a weird thing, but...
02:27:44.000 Well, if you really feel that way, I feel like you shouldn't have the Coca-Cola Classic.
02:27:48.000 Right.
02:27:48.000 You know, just do what you want to do, and if you have...
02:27:51.000 If there's any repercussions, it's probably something you shouldn't have done in the first place, and you should learn from that.
02:27:56.000 Mm-hmm.
02:27:56.000 I think so many people go through life like trying to project something instead of just being who they are and working on what the negative aspects of whoever they have designed themselves to be.
02:28:08.000 Instead of working on that, they just put up this fucking fake facade.
02:28:12.000 That's too labor intensive.
02:28:14.000 Right.
02:28:14.000 I have no desire to do that.
02:28:16.000 Pretend you're someone who you're not just seems to me like a lot of Goddamn effort.
02:28:21.000 A lot of work.
02:28:21.000 And for what?
02:28:22.000 What do you get out of it?
02:28:23.000 Like, look at Charlie Sheen, okay?
02:28:25.000 That guy's a junkie, okay?
02:28:26.000 He's a junkie, and he loves whores, and everybody knows it, and they love him.
02:28:31.000 It's not like some fucking secret, but it's because he's like, hey, I like to smoke rocks, and I pay girls to suck my dick.
02:28:40.000 Good night!
02:28:40.000 Yeah, see ya!
02:28:41.000 And everybody's like, I love him!
02:28:42.000 He's so refreshing!
02:28:44.000 He's honest!
02:28:44.000 Isn't that amazing that a guy can be on a network fucking television show, like a squeaky clean CBS show, like two and a half men, and do these interviews about smoking rocks and paying girls to leave.
02:29:00.000 You don't pay them to have sex with you, you pay them to leave.
02:29:02.000 And everybody's like, yes!
02:29:04.000 I love him!
02:29:05.000 Hashtag winning!
02:29:06.000 Right.
02:29:06.000 Hashtag tiger blood!
02:29:08.000 Tiger blood.
02:29:08.000 I saw that all over the internet when that all went down.
02:29:13.000 And, you know, look, the reality of who he was was not pretty.
02:29:18.000 I mean, he looks like he's 100 years old.
02:29:20.000 His fucking face has fallen off.
02:29:22.000 He looks really bad.
02:29:24.000 Like, there's some of the videos that he did, like, right after he got kicked off that show, and he did, like, these weird podcast-style videos where he's, like, staring into the camera and, like, people behind him.
02:29:33.000 He looks like he's just sweaty, deaf.
02:29:36.000 Right.
02:29:36.000 You know?
02:29:37.000 It was coming.
02:29:38.000 Out of his fucking mind!
02:29:39.000 But still, people loved the fact that he was being who he really is.
02:29:45.000 I think so much of what you see, like, when you see Tom Cruise jumping on Oprah Winfrey's couch, saying how much she's in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love, I'm in love!
02:29:53.000 And all the women in the audience are like, yeah!
02:29:57.000 Let's love her!
02:29:58.000 And everybody else is like, you're bullshitting me.
02:30:00.000 You're bullshitting me, but I'm used to being bullshitted, so I just deal with it.
02:30:03.000 Right.
02:30:03.000 Like The Bachelor.
02:30:04.000 You're peeing on my back and telling me it's raining, Tom Cruise.
02:30:07.000 I'm used to it.
02:30:07.000 I'm going to put up with it, but only because Top Gun was a great movie.
02:30:10.000 Exactly.
02:30:11.000 It's like we're shocked that that girl fucked a bunch of handsome guys that she got drunk with.
02:30:15.000 Right?
02:30:16.000 Whoever that girl is, good for you, young lady.
02:30:18.000 I hope you got your rocks off.
02:30:20.000 I hope you sucked a lot of delicious dicks and had a gay old time.
02:30:25.000 Like Flintstone style.
02:30:28.000 Flintstone style.
02:30:29.000 We'll have a gay old time.
02:30:32.000 It was a different world back then.
02:30:34.000 You could say gay and it had nothing to do with it.
02:30:35.000 It was totally different.
02:30:36.000 Yeah.
02:30:37.000 The thing that I'm still puzzled by right now is that I put up a picture on Instagram about a picture with some friends or whatever, and the amount of people that will go out of their way to say nasty stuff to strangers I'll put a picture up of friends that I'm hanging with and someone will go after someone in the picture and I'm like,
02:30:55.000 what?
02:30:55.000 How much does your life suck that you need to go attack a stranger Virtually.
02:31:01.000 Yeah.
02:31:02.000 It's just not...
02:31:23.000 I deal with nice people 99.9% of the time.
02:31:27.000 It's almost all nice people.
02:31:29.000 Occasionally, a twat will sneak through the net and find their way into my Twitter feed, but then you just block them and then you're done with it.
02:31:36.000 But Instagram, good luck trying to block those fucking monsters.
02:31:41.000 And they all have, if you go to their accounts, they're all locked.
02:31:43.000 Right.
02:31:44.000 I feel like if you're going to be critical of my pictures, let me be critical of yours.
02:31:48.000 There's a couple times I always think, because for me it's not that different from being in middle school.
02:31:54.000 This is not going to shock you, I was a little weird in middle school too.
02:31:57.000 Not much has changed.
02:31:58.000 I was weird in middle school.
02:31:59.000 The world's just more accepting of us.
02:32:01.000 I'm the exact same person.
02:32:03.000 Good for you.
02:32:04.000 It's like lunchroom bullying, but on this virtual level.
02:32:07.000 So guess what?
02:32:08.000 I would stand up for myself then.
02:32:10.000 So sometimes I'll watch people, and I don't get a lot anymore, but when they said I was on Top Gear or when I started being on TV for NASCAR, then you would see those people come out of the woodwork.
02:32:20.000 I did these funny videos for NASCAR on NBC with Danica Patrick and Kevin Hart, all these people, and someone will be like, you suck, you're fat, you're stupid.
02:32:28.000 And that's fine.
02:32:29.000 I'm not.
02:32:30.000 I don't mind.
02:32:31.000 But I would say 95% of the time, I at least like to know, if it's something funny, then I'll laugh and just move on.
02:32:39.000 But if it's something to where they really want to go after you, I'll be like, okay, let me at least look at your profile.
02:32:45.000 And if I can tell they don't know any better, you just block them, mute them, roll them.
02:32:48.000 But if I feel like they know better, every once in a while, I'll just lean back a tiny bit.
02:32:53.000 And this guy one day went after me about something stupid.
02:32:56.000 And he told me how stupid I was and fat and ugly and I shouldn't have a job and whatever.
02:33:00.000 I looked at his profile on Twitter and it was a picture with him and his daughter going canoeing.
02:33:06.000 And so all I said was, hey man, I hope no one ever says to your daughter at school what you just said to me, because I know that'll feel bad for you to hear that.
02:33:14.000 And he, you would have thought I cussed his mother.
02:33:16.000 He came after me so hardcore at that.
02:33:19.000 How dare you look at my picture, and how dare you try to...
02:33:22.000 How dare you make me public?
02:33:24.000 Right.
02:33:25.000 Yeah, he is public.
02:33:26.000 We're all public.
02:33:27.000 Yeah.
02:33:27.000 If you're on the internet, you fuck, you're public.
02:33:29.000 Right!
02:33:29.000 It's not a thing.
02:33:30.000 And I was like, I wasn't being mean, I was just being honest.
02:33:32.000 Like, hey, how about golden rule this sucker?
02:33:34.000 Like, don't say mean stuff to people if you don't want them to say it back to you.
02:33:38.000 Like, it's fascinating to me.
02:33:39.000 Dude, people have said mean shit to me and I retweet them.
02:33:41.000 That's it.
02:33:42.000 Just retweet them.
02:33:43.000 Yeah.
02:33:43.000 And like, you fucking bully.
02:33:44.000 You're an asshole.
02:33:45.000 You sick your friends.
02:33:46.000 I mean, no, no, no, no, no.
02:33:47.000 All I did was retweet what you put out there.
02:33:51.000 Yeah.
02:33:51.000 This is you.
02:33:52.000 And I let everyone know, this is you.
02:33:56.000 Yeah.
02:33:56.000 This is you.
02:33:57.000 I just shared you with the world.
02:33:58.000 Yeah, I shared you.
02:33:59.000 You know, it's not being a bully.
02:34:01.000 Do I have a bigger platform than you?
02:34:02.000 Of course I do, fuckface.
02:34:03.000 That's how you know who I am, and I don't know who you are.
02:34:05.000 That's simple logic.
02:34:07.000 It's like, you know, don't stick your hand in the cage if you don't want to get bit.
02:34:10.000 Right.
02:34:10.000 Because that's what's going to happen.
02:34:11.000 I'm going to retweet you, and then everyone is going to, all these other people that are bored looking for some asshole to shit on, they get home, they're tired of taking shit from their boss, their fucking wife is an asshole, their kids suck, and they're happy to climb up your ass and plant bombs.
02:34:27.000 Right.
02:34:27.000 They're happy.
02:34:28.000 I'll give you an earful.
02:34:29.000 Yeah, exactly.
02:34:30.000 But I think it's because of the same reasons why people were bullying people in middle school, where you don't see nearly as much when you become an adult.
02:34:38.000 Yeah.
02:34:39.000 I think it's because it's a new thing.
02:34:40.000 Sure.
02:34:40.000 And I think that this cyber communication is untested.
02:34:45.000 We have to figure it out.
02:34:47.000 We don't know what the fuck we're doing.
02:34:48.000 All the normal shit involved in communication, like social cues and knowing...
02:34:54.000 And first of all, Someone accepting you as a person they want to have a conversation with.
02:34:59.000 There's a lot of these people that you're communicating with online that you would never accept as communication partners in real life.
02:35:06.000 Right.
02:35:06.000 You would meet them, they'd be gross, you'd be like, Mike's a dick, and you'd just like stop talking to them.
02:35:11.000 Right.
02:35:11.000 Or stop visiting his place of business or whatever.
02:35:14.000 But because they can just get to you without any...
02:35:18.000 You don't have to accept them.
02:35:19.000 You don't have to choose them.
02:35:21.000 You don't have to pick...
02:35:21.000 Because you pick your friends if you're a wise person, and you'll have a better life if you do that.
02:35:26.000 If you don't pick your friends, you just let anybody in your life, you develop a series of fucking incurable disasters over and over and over again that you never really recover from.
02:35:35.000 And you live your life based on the momentum of a bunch of assholes who aren't thinking straight.
02:35:40.000 That's a lot of people.
02:35:41.000 I have friends like that, that live their life like that.
02:35:44.000 It's just one fucking disaster after another fucking disaster, and if you get caught up in the hurricane that is their life, they'll drag you into the cyclone, you'll get fucking tossed out into the ocean somewhere.
02:35:55.000 Or, You choose, but in the online world, you don't get to choose.
02:36:00.000 So if you're out there, and what they're doing by blocking you, they think, well, I'll just get him, and he can't even get me back!
02:36:07.000 So they put their little fucking locked profile on Instagram, and it's just guaranteed they're a coward.
02:36:14.000 Like, anybody who has a locked profile that talks shit, I just block them immediately.
02:36:19.000 I don't even think twice.
02:36:20.000 I don't respond to them.
02:36:22.000 The funny part is if they think, like there's a writer in NASCAR that blocked me, and I was laughing, right?
02:36:26.000 A writer?
02:36:27.000 Yeah, and it was just one of those things where for some reason this guy decided the day I showed up he hated me.
02:36:33.000 But I laughed because I thought, that means you thought I wanted to know what you thought.
02:36:38.000 But I never wanted to know what you thought because I didn't care then and I didn't care now.
02:36:42.000 But the fact that he went to that effort, it made me giggle.
02:36:45.000 Like, same thing, if some stranger says you're stupid and then blocked me, you're like, I'm so sorry.
02:36:50.000 You must have thought I was going to want to learn more about you after you insulted me.
02:36:55.000 What writer could seriously get to know you and not think you're a great guy?
02:36:59.000 That's confusing to me.
02:37:00.000 Thank you.
02:37:01.000 You're a very friendly guy.
02:37:02.000 Why did he decide that you were a dick?
02:37:05.000 Great question.
02:37:05.000 What was his criticism?
02:37:06.000 What did he say?
02:37:07.000 What's his name, by the way?
02:37:08.000 No.
02:37:08.000 Please.
02:37:09.000 Let's find out.
02:37:10.000 There's this one guy...
02:37:12.000 There's this one guy that was a NASCAR rider.
02:37:14.000 There can't be too many of those, are there?
02:37:16.000 There's a bunch.
02:37:16.000 There's a bunch.
02:37:17.000 It is a great group.
02:37:18.000 Honestly, it's great group with people.
02:37:19.000 Do they write with crayons, napkins and shit?
02:37:20.000 No, not anymore.
02:37:22.000 I think most of them have a brother typewriter.
02:37:24.000 I think it's brother.
02:37:25.000 Is that right?
02:37:26.000 This one dude would go on serious and say terrible things about me, how much he disliked me.
02:37:32.000 But then he was really nice to me at the track, and he did a bunch of shows.
02:37:36.000 Big boy, and I'll say this.
02:37:37.000 He's a big boy, like a fat guy?
02:37:39.000 He was.
02:37:39.000 Big slobby.
02:37:40.000 He was.
02:37:41.000 Big self-loathing cheeseburger-eating motherfucker.
02:37:43.000 He's gone now.
02:37:44.000 He's dead?
02:37:44.000 Yeah.
02:37:45.000 He died of a heart attack?
02:37:46.000 Yeah.
02:37:46.000 Poor fat fuck.
02:37:47.000 He had a windbreaker that he would take when he went to eat chili dogs.
02:37:51.000 Whoa.
02:37:51.000 And that was kind of, when I found that out, someone I worked with was like, you know, he puts on like a tarp to eat chili dogs.
02:37:56.000 I was like, I can't.
02:37:58.000 I gotta leave this guy alone.
02:37:59.000 He goes to war.
02:37:59.000 His stuff is a lot worse than anything I got going on in my life if you need a tarp for a chili dog.
02:38:04.000 That's a guy who either really loves his clothes or knows he's a slob and just gave in.
02:38:08.000 I think it was the second.
02:38:10.000 A lot of self-loathing is involved in people being mean to people because they want you to feel the way they feel.
02:38:16.000 Yeah.
02:38:16.000 At least a little bit.
02:38:17.000 You know, they want to reach out.
02:38:18.000 Like, I've had communication with people online.
02:38:21.000 They're, like, really mean to people.
02:38:22.000 And then you go and look at their Twitter feed and, like, you'll find some, like, suicidal shit in there.
02:38:27.000 Right.
02:38:27.000 You know, you'll find some...
02:38:28.000 They're just miserable.
02:38:29.000 Yeah, there's a lot of that.
02:38:31.000 There's a lot of people out there that are hurting.
02:38:32.000 I think the model of life that the majority of people are living in civilization, the civilized world, when you're involving offices and jobs that you don't really want and places that you don't really want to go to but you have to.
02:38:48.000 Like, what you're doing for a living, you enjoy.
02:38:51.000 Obviously, you have a real passion for cars and you're having a great time.
02:38:54.000 That's the ideal life for everybody.
02:38:56.000 That's what everybody really wants.
02:38:57.000 But there's not a lot of people get to be you.
02:39:00.000 Sure.
02:39:00.000 There's a small amount of people that get to be you.
02:39:03.000 It's like not even a one.
02:39:05.000 You know, people talk about the one percenters.
02:39:07.000 It's not even the one percent that are doing what they want to do.
02:39:09.000 Do you think Donald Trump is doing what he wants to do?
02:39:11.000 That fucking goofy prick wants to be president.
02:39:13.000 He wants to be loved.
02:39:15.000 He's paying people to cheer at his presidential announcement.
02:39:18.000 Right.
02:39:18.000 He's just an ego.
02:39:20.000 He's just a big ego.
02:39:21.000 You know, that's not...
02:39:23.000 He just got on that path and that's the path that he's using to try to validate himself.
02:39:28.000 Sure.
02:39:28.000 But if you are not living a life that you enjoy, you're gonna have this fucking feeling all the time of, God damn it!
02:39:39.000 Like, why can't I be on Top Gear?
02:39:41.000 Or why can't I do this?
02:39:43.000 Or why can't I be the fucking UFC commentator?
02:39:45.000 Or why can't I be the president?
02:39:47.000 Or why can't I do this?
02:39:49.000 And what about fucking shit?
02:39:50.000 And that's a lot of people, man.
02:39:53.000 It's all day is fuck this guy and his fucking Corvette.
02:39:56.000 And fuck that guy and his Ferrari.
02:39:58.000 And fuck this guy and his big house.
02:39:59.000 And fuck him with his hot wife.
02:40:01.000 And fuck him with his fucking kids that don't suck.
02:40:05.000 You know?
02:40:06.000 It's hard, man.
02:40:08.000 It's true.
02:40:08.000 It's hard, and most of us are the victims of shitty childhoods and people who had kids that didn't know what the fuck they were doing.
02:40:16.000 It's like, imagine getting programmed.
02:40:18.000 Imagine if you had a computer program, right?
02:40:20.000 And your computer was programmed by someone like me, who doesn't know jack shit about computers.
02:40:25.000 Right.
02:40:26.000 I know how to type my name in the fucking, you know, my password and how to get my Gmail, but I don't know what's going on underneath the fucking surface of this metal thing.
02:40:34.000 I don't know.
02:40:34.000 So I'm an idiot.
02:40:36.000 You know, if I had to program my own computer, it would be a disaster.
02:40:39.000 It would be crashing every five...
02:40:40.000 That's...
02:40:41.000 A human being is essentially like a gigantic biological computer.
02:40:45.000 It's the most complex one we know.
02:40:47.000 And they're being engineered and programmed by morons.
02:40:52.000 Millions and millions of morons.
02:40:54.000 They're raising kids and fucking them up.
02:40:57.000 And then it's our job as the kids who got fucked up to sort of decipher what the fuck our parents did wrong to us and try to make it through life with as much happiness as we possibly can till our heart stops beating.
02:41:10.000 And that's a complex puzzle.
02:41:11.000 Not everybody makes it through and figures that fucking thing out.
02:41:14.000 That's it.
02:41:15.000 And those are the people on Instagram with locked accounts.
02:41:17.000 And those are the people that eat chili dogs with windbreakers on and smile to your face and shit on you on your fucking computer or on Sirius satellite radio or whatever they do.
02:41:28.000 It's hard.
02:41:29.000 It's hard to be nice, man.
02:41:30.000 It's hard.
02:41:31.000 It's hard to like yourself.
02:41:32.000 Forget about liking other people.
02:41:33.000 Especially liking other people that are successful.
02:41:36.000 Hosting Top Gear with that handsome Tanner Faust and that beautiful Adam Ferrara.
02:41:40.000 I mean, I will say this, I think you know, like if your life sucks, if it's not where you want, you know, we've all been there, but like I think a lot of people forget sometimes that you can change that.
02:41:54.000 Like we, the reality that we're flying through this gigantic marble in space, it will kind of blow your mind, but the fact that you can wake up every day and do what you want to do or not do what you want to do, like that's pretty awesome.
02:42:05.000 These things, the fact that we're sitting here, this didn't happen by accident.
02:42:09.000 And I think sometimes people forget that if there's something out there that you want, you're going to have to physically do something about it.
02:42:16.000 And that's the one thing that when people come after me that I love having fun.
02:42:21.000 I want to make people's day better.
02:42:23.000 You know, for me, it was like I was either going to try to go back to school and be some sort of teacher, like a high school counselor, because Columbine and stuff like that breaks my heart.
02:42:33.000 Like, I can't believe that happens.
02:42:34.000 And it's because those kids didn't have the parents that I did, who when they got made fun of, the parents weren't there to say, you're fine.
02:42:41.000 There's nothing wrong with you.
02:42:42.000 There's something wrong with those people that they don't have enough confidence in who they are that they're going to take it out on everybody else.
02:42:48.000 And so I thought, well, I'm either going to do that or...
02:42:52.000 I'm going to try and get on TV and make as many people smile as I can.
02:42:55.000 But it's because I wanted to do something about it.
02:42:57.000 Sometimes it breaks my heart that there are people that aren't willing to push and say, I want something better.
02:43:03.000 Well, I think a lot of people feel trapped in their existence because they sort of live their life on momentum.
02:43:10.000 And they got kind of stuck in this trap.
02:43:13.000 They're in high school and then they go to college and they get student loans and they somehow get out and they don't have a job and they're trying to find a job and then they take whatever job they can get and they still have debt and then they have a family and then they have mouths to feed and they feel fucking trapped and super frustrated.
02:43:27.000 Sure.
02:43:28.000 Yeah, so they see a guy like you who's putting a 900 horsepower engine in a Scion and running around like a fucking crazy person on television, and they get mad.
02:43:35.000 Yeah.
02:43:35.000 Because you look at you, you're a sweet guy, you have a big smile on your face, you look like you're having a great time.
02:43:39.000 And for people who are not having a good time, one of the most punishing things is watching someone live their life better.
02:43:46.000 Yeah.
02:43:47.000 We were talking about drifting, like how good Tanner is at driving a fucking car.
02:43:51.000 When he drifts, he's an artist, right?
02:43:53.000 He's moving like a ballet dancer.
02:43:56.000 Totally.
02:43:56.000 If I was drifting, I'm sure I'd do it way better.
02:43:59.000 I don't even know how to drift.
02:44:00.000 Okay, let's pretend I took some drifting lessons today.
02:44:03.000 Sure.
02:44:04.000 I know how to drive, but I guarantee you I look like a clunk, clunky fuckhead in comparison to him.
02:44:09.000 I'm not doing as good a job.
02:44:11.000 And drifting or driving or doing anything, or bowling or fucking playing darts, it's like life.
02:44:17.000 There's gonna be people that are better at it than you.
02:44:19.000 Right.
02:44:20.000 Okay?
02:44:20.000 And you could either learn, what are they doing differently?
02:44:23.000 And try to apply that to your own life, or you can just shit on them.
02:44:27.000 You know, you really can.
02:44:29.000 It's a lot easier to shit on them.
02:44:30.000 It's a lot easier to shit on them.
02:44:30.000 Than to try to learn something.
02:44:31.000 It's a lot easier to shit on them.
02:44:33.000 And sometimes you're shitting on people and you're correct.
02:44:35.000 You know, sometimes you're shitting on people and, you know, you realize you are watching some bloated ego or some ridiculous version of, you know, a pop singer that record companies are trying to stuff down your face and you know it's horseshit.
02:44:48.000 Right.
02:44:49.000 And you're correct in comparing them to, you know, whatever, fill in the blank, Lou Reed or Mick Jagger or whatever the fuck it is that you really appreciate.
02:44:57.000 You're correct.
02:44:57.000 But a lot of times what you're doing is just bitching.
02:45:01.000 Yeah.
02:45:02.000 A lot of times you're just trying to figure out why you're not happy.
02:45:05.000 You know, you're seeing someone on television or in the movies or just on the cover of a magazine and you're angry because it's not you.
02:45:12.000 Because for whatever reason you got down a bad path and you got stuck in this fucking shitty existence that seems to have no exit door.
02:45:22.000 And you don't know what to do.
02:45:23.000 So you lock up that Instagram account and you start shitting away.
02:45:26.000 Just crapping on strangers.
02:45:27.000 Fuck you, Redwood.
02:45:29.000 Fuck you, you fucking shitty fucking host, you bad person, you.
02:45:34.000 Just farting in your fucking office chair and sniffing your own farts and keeping typing and horrible people out there.
02:45:42.000 I don't mean to make you think that I have a ton of those.
02:45:45.000 You're gonna have them!
02:45:46.000 Oh, yeah.
02:45:47.000 Look, the better you do, the more you're gonna have.
02:45:49.000 There's no getting around it.
02:45:51.000 But I think it's a temporary stop.
02:45:53.000 I really do.
02:45:54.000 I think we are about maybe a decade or two away from no one ever having secrets, ever.
02:46:01.000 From everyone understanding everyone's motivation, being able to read people's minds.
02:46:06.000 I think we're getting closer and closer to each other in some ridiculous way through technology.
02:46:12.000 Sure.
02:46:12.000 And that's what's going on with these people that you would have never chosen to communicate with reach out and fuck with you.
02:46:18.000 You know, whether it's through Twitter or Facebook or what have you.
02:46:20.000 I think that we're going to come to a point in time where, and not too far away from now, where we're going to share thoughts in some sort of a weird way.
02:46:29.000 It's not going to be as simple as like, Reading something on reddit or you know Facebook or Instagram It's going to be way more complex.
02:46:39.000 Yeah, it's going to be we're gonna have Have you seen that thing that they did where they did an experiment where they they hooked these people up to some sort of a brain Detecting device and landed electrodes on their head and they they sent words Through the internet across the world Like,
02:46:57.000 instantaneously, these people on the other side of the world received these words and knew what the person was saying.
02:47:03.000 Like, brain-to-brain communication.
02:47:06.000 You haven't seen that?
02:47:07.000 I have not, and that's crazy.
02:47:08.000 It's nuts, man.
02:47:10.000 I don't totally understand how they did it.
02:47:13.000 I think they can only do it with crude words right now, like, yes, no, you know, you suck.
02:47:19.000 Like, those kind of thoughts.
02:47:21.000 Because I think...
02:47:24.000 You identify in your head what that word means, and you commit to that thought, and then they can transmit that thought.
02:47:33.000 Pull up that study, because I don't understand it.
02:47:35.000 I think it used binary.
02:47:36.000 I think it turned that word into a binary code of some kind, transmitted that one, zero, on, off to you, and then you know what...
02:47:43.000 There was only a couple things they had in it.
02:47:45.000 Maybe four or five words.
02:47:45.000 So they knew what it was because of the binary, but it's...
02:47:49.000 Yeah, it was like chow or hello, or something like that.
02:47:51.000 Chow or hello or goodbye.
02:47:53.000 Did they just play the Flight of the Conchords song about the binary solo?
02:47:58.000 Do you think that's what it was?
02:47:59.000 I don't know that one.
02:48:00.000 Oh my god, I love those guys.
02:48:01.000 New Zealand's are my favorite.
02:48:03.000 New Zealand's a nice spot.
02:48:05.000 They're gentle people.
02:48:06.000 It's a sweet spot, but they're trying to...
02:48:07.000 Kim.com's getting fucked over over there.
02:48:09.000 Yeah.
02:48:10.000 Stole all his money and they're trying to import him or export him to the United States.
02:48:14.000 Deport him, rather.
02:48:15.000 That's a weird situation, huh?
02:48:17.000 That mega upload situation.
02:48:19.000 Right.
02:48:20.000 Because he didn't, you know, he's never even been to America.
02:48:23.000 And they're trying to bring him to America for some alleged crimes against these alleged movie companies where people were uploading videos.
02:48:31.000 Right.
02:48:31.000 It's very, very complex.
02:48:33.000 But it's also, like, I would like to know, like, what percentage of that site was being used for that, and what percentage of it was being used for people just uploading things.
02:48:41.000 I don't totally understand how he was, were people paying, like, a subscription fee?
02:48:46.000 I don't know either.
02:48:47.000 I don't know either.
02:48:48.000 Sometimes when people make a lot of money, you're like, well, how did that just happen?
02:48:51.000 Okay.
02:48:52.000 A company in Barcelona called Starlab described transmitting short words like chow encoded as binary digits between the brains of individuals on different continents.
02:49:02.000 Both studies use a similar setup.
02:49:05.000 The sender of the message wore an EEG. Electroencephalography cap that captured electrical signals generated by his cortex while he thought about moving his hands or feet.
02:49:18.000 These signals were then sent over the internet to a computer that translated them into jolts delivered to a recipient's brain using a magnetic coil.
02:49:27.000 In Starlab's case, the recipient perceived a flash of light.
02:49:30.000 In the University of Washington case, the magnetic pulse caused An involuntary twitch of the wrist over a touchpad to shoot a rocket into a computer game.
02:49:40.000 Whoa.
02:49:41.000 See, we're getting to this weird place in technology and the ability that we have to manipulate technology.
02:49:50.000 The ability that we have to manipulate matter and information, it's going to make...
02:49:56.000 Haters online it's gonna be it's gonna be ridiculous.
02:49:58.000 This is a Temporary pit stop like an adolescent stage and the communication that we're enjoying and it's it's what it is is if you look back at Watch Game of Thrones send a raven, you know, they take a fucking raven time message to his leg, you know That was like the only way you can get a message to somebody.
02:50:15.000 Right.
02:50:15.000 That is ridiculous now.
02:50:17.000 And I think these ideas of texts and tweets and all that stuff, it will be ridiculous in the future.
02:50:23.000 Because we'll just have something that's far more satisfying, far more direct.
02:50:28.000 You'll understand sarcasm.
02:50:29.000 You're going to understand when someone's fucking...
02:50:30.000 You ever get a text from someone and you're like, are you fucking with me?
02:50:33.000 Is this guy really mad at me or is he fucking with me?
02:50:35.000 Right.
02:50:35.000 And then you have to say, are you fucking with me?
02:50:37.000 And they're like, totally.
02:50:37.000 Totally.
02:50:38.000 Totally.
02:50:38.000 No, not serious.
02:50:39.000 We're just joking around.
02:50:40.000 And sometimes they are serious, but they're pretending they're not serious.
02:50:43.000 You're going to be able to feel that.
02:50:44.000 Right.
02:50:45.000 You're saying that we could wake up one day and I'll be like, I'll be thinking we should get coffee, and you'll be thinking that sounds great?
02:50:51.000 Exactly.
02:50:52.000 I'll show up at your house with a coffee.
02:50:54.000 We won't even have a conversation.
02:50:56.000 I've got butter and nootropics.
02:50:58.000 Nootropics.
02:50:59.000 Nootropics.
02:51:00.000 That was close.
02:51:01.000 They'll help your dad with his memory.
02:51:02.000 Is that it?
02:51:03.000 Yeah, for sure.
02:51:03.000 My buddy Parker Kligerman's doing something with those.
02:51:05.000 There's a bunch of different nootropics that'll help with memory, but we've done two double-blind placebo-controlled tests at Onnit with the Boston Institute of Memory, Boston Center for Memory, and they showed...
02:51:18.000 Wait, can you not remember the name of the center?
02:51:20.000 Um, I can't remember.
02:51:22.000 Damn it.
02:51:23.000 We've got work left to do.
02:51:25.000 It's not important to me.
02:51:27.000 For me, if you use names, I don't remember people's names.
02:51:31.000 Mike, Bob, Tim.
02:51:33.000 It's not important.
02:51:34.000 That's that dude.
02:51:35.000 I love that.
02:51:36.000 But when something's important to me, I'll never fucking forget it.
02:51:40.000 When I do UFC commentary and I start talking about past fights, I don't have notes.
02:51:46.000 Those aren't from notes.
02:51:47.000 That's all just from my head.
02:51:48.000 I just remember fights.
02:51:49.000 Good for you.
02:51:51.000 I've probably called like 1,500 professional fights at least.
02:51:55.000 Wow.
02:51:56.000 And I just remember most of them.
02:51:57.000 Just that Rolodex that's in there.
02:51:58.000 I don't remember all of them.
02:51:59.000 Sometimes I have to research or go back.
02:52:02.000 But I remember most of them.
02:52:03.000 Most of the big ones.
02:52:04.000 Most important ones.
02:52:06.000 Yeah.
02:52:07.000 But a memory's a weird thing, man.
02:52:08.000 You know, I went to this thing the other day.
02:52:09.000 My daughter had this dance recital, and she had been to the same place two years before, and I'd only been there once.
02:52:16.000 And as I was walking there, I was like, where do I go?
02:52:18.000 Oh, yeah.
02:52:19.000 I go over here.
02:52:19.000 Like, all of a sudden, my brain went, yeah, yeah, let me pull those files up.
02:52:23.000 Right.
02:52:23.000 You got to go over here.
02:52:24.000 And I was, like, thinking as I was walking, I was like, how weird is this that my brain is just pulling these files up now?
02:52:30.000 Because if it wasn't for this recital that I had to go to, I would never remember any shit.
02:52:36.000 Right.
02:52:36.000 But for whatever reason, your brain can like reach back and find those files and pull them out when necessary.
02:52:42.000 For now.
02:52:43.000 Like it'll keep them for like, it's like sort of like tweets.
02:52:46.000 Right.
02:52:46.000 Like if someone sends you a direct message and Twitter cleans those out after like six months or something.
02:52:50.000 Like, you don't need this anymore.
02:52:52.000 Trying to save some space.
02:52:53.000 This wasn't important.
02:52:54.000 I'm going to kick this out of here.
02:52:56.000 You know, I think that's also going to be one of the things that gets resolved with technology.
02:53:01.000 I think the way we memorize things now is, like, really crude.
02:53:05.000 Sure.
02:53:05.000 And it doesn't work that good.
02:53:06.000 I think we're going to be able to record things that you see directly to some sort of medium, like whether it's an SD card or whatever the fuck it is.
02:53:16.000 And you're going to be able to share experiences with someone else.
02:53:20.000 Your wife is like, hey, how was work today?
02:53:22.000 You're like, well, why don't you fucking live it, bitch?
02:53:26.000 You put the card in her little slot.
02:53:28.000 I'll show you.
02:53:29.000 Yeah, and she's like, oh my god, I just jumped a fucking school bus over the top of a bridge and flames were shooting out of it.
02:53:35.000 Yeah, that's what I did at work today.
02:53:36.000 Yeah, works pretty good.
02:53:38.000 Pretty good day at work, honey.
02:53:40.000 That's gonna be crazy.
02:53:41.000 Yeah, we're gonna...
02:53:43.000 But you know what's really bumming me out, and what's gonna bum me out as an automotive enthusiast, as you are as well, is these self-driving cars.
02:53:51.000 It's so strange, isn't it?
02:53:53.000 Well, it is and it isn't.
02:53:54.000 I think we need it, because I think a lot of assholes drive like shit.
02:53:58.000 But man, it's gonna be a bummer when you can't just go for a ride up the fucking Angels Crest Highway and just...
02:54:03.000 Just have fun.
02:54:06.000 Just go drive and, you know, roll the window down and feel it and just...
02:54:10.000 Or, is it possible it will make driving for people like us even better?
02:54:16.000 Because no one...
02:54:17.000 Three minutes, okay.
02:54:19.000 No one else...
02:54:20.000 Like, if all the people that suck at driving are in autonomous cars, and we're just in the left lane in fast cars, won't that be better?
02:54:27.000 Yeah, maybe.
02:54:29.000 If you have to like...
02:54:30.000 Yeah, like every Tanner Faust guy is allowed to drive whatever the fuck he wants.
02:54:34.000 Right.
02:54:34.000 Because he has such an expertise.
02:54:35.000 What if there's like a test?
02:54:36.000 Right.
02:54:37.000 Because like my 53 Plymouth...
02:54:40.000 There's no way you could make a computer big enough to drive that thing yourself.
02:54:44.000 Do you think we'll ever get to a point where you're not allowed to drive those cars?
02:54:47.000 Like, there's some weird laws in California.
02:54:49.000 Like, one of the reasons why people like older cars is because you don't have to smog them.
02:54:52.000 Hell yes.
02:54:54.000 But look at Mexico City, that fucking picture that I showed you today.
02:54:57.000 That's what happens when you let people not smog their cars, or you have too many cars.
02:55:01.000 And we don't want that.
02:55:03.000 So where do you draw the line?
02:55:05.000 I mean, there's only a certain amount of 1969 Chevelles that are available in the world.
02:55:08.000 Right.
02:55:09.000 And you've got to find one of those in order to have a 1969 Chevelle.
02:55:12.000 That's it.
02:55:13.000 They don't make them anymore.
02:55:14.000 Totally.
02:55:14.000 And if you want to build a new 1969 Chevelle, well, guess what, bitch?
02:55:17.000 That's got to get smogged.
02:55:18.000 That's not going to be the same.
02:55:20.000 But I think that, you know, there's good in it, and there's bad, you know, you know, it's not clean.
02:55:27.000 It seems like if you've been drinking, it's a genius idea.
02:55:29.000 Oh, it's perfect!
02:55:31.000 Right?
02:55:31.000 Just drop me off at home.
02:55:32.000 Park yourself in the garage.
02:55:33.000 That sounds awesome.
02:55:34.000 But imagine if you were in that self-driving car, and you're safe and sound, and some dickwad in a fucking Mustang is going hooniginning right on the corner sideways.
02:55:45.000 He's just doing a standing burnout at the stoplight.
02:55:47.000 Boom!
02:55:48.000 He smashes into you.
02:55:50.000 You know, then you're like, well, everybody should be in these fucking driverless cars, goddammit.
02:55:54.000 Didn't they crash one of those Google cars, though?
02:55:56.000 There's been some confirmation that the Google cars have actually crashed.
02:56:00.000 So they're not perfect yet.
02:56:01.000 They're not.
02:56:02.000 But they've probably crashed a lot less than the people that work for Google.
02:56:06.000 Right?
02:56:08.000 Touché.
02:56:09.000 Now, see, that's...
02:56:11.000 That's a stat I don't want to learn.
02:56:13.000 Turns out just because you're good with a laptop doesn't mean you're good with a Camry.
02:56:16.000 Dude, I had a great time talking to you.
02:56:17.000 Thanks for having me.
02:56:18.000 Thanks for being on.
02:56:19.000 We've got to do this again.
02:56:20.000 That was great.
02:56:20.000 What's funny is I was like, how long are some of these?
02:56:22.000 This was three hours.
02:56:23.000 Yeah, how about that?
02:56:24.000 I feel like I just got here.
02:56:25.000 Flew by, man.
02:56:26.000 Thanks for having me.
02:56:27.000 Thanks for being on, man.
02:56:27.000 I really appreciate it.
02:56:28.000 And I enjoy your show.
02:56:29.000 And when can people watch it?
02:56:30.000 It's on the History Channel?
02:56:31.000 Yes.
02:56:31.000 We just ran our season of Lost in Transmission, so we'll go back to work, it looks like, into the summer on Top Gear.
02:56:37.000 That'll take a little while to make, and then hopefully we'll do more Lost in Transmission.
02:56:40.000 And you can see me every weekend on NBC, starting in July, for all our NASCAR coverage.
02:56:45.000 And what is your Twitter handle?
02:56:46.000 It's at Rutledgewood.
02:56:48.000 R-U-T-L-E-D-G-E. W-O-O-D. All right, ladies and gentlemen, we'll be back tomorrow with hypnotist Vinnie Shorman, the man that Joe Schilling was telling me about.
02:56:58.000 He's going to hypnotize me.
02:56:59.000 I'm going to tell you if this shit works.
02:57:01.000 See you guys.
02:57:01.000 Much love.
02:57:02.000 Thanks, buddy.
02:57:02.000 Appreciate it.