G. Gordon Liddy was a sergeant in Vietnam, and right when Saigon fell, he held on to 300 kilos of pure heroin and took it to the United States in dead bodies. This is what the episode's about. And that's not even the half of it. It's about the Silk Road, and how the CIA got involved in it, and why they think a black guy from Harlem is responsible for selling drugs under the name "Mr. Nice." And how they think it's not the CIA, it's some cowboys in the CIA. And they think he's a bad guy. And they want to charge him with conspiracy to commit murder. And he's got a good chance at getting away with it because he's black and he's from Harlem, and he s a good dude. And he s not even black, he s just a black dude from Harlem! And that s what makes him a good guy, and that s why he gets away with murder, right? because he s part of a group of bad guys, and they don t give a shit about it. The Silk Road is a network that sells drugs, and the DEA is investigating it. And it s a bunch of good guys who do it because they have access to a guy who sells drugs. And the DEA has a lot of money, so why not do it for them? And why they should do something about it? The CIA should be doing something about this, because they re making money, not the other way around? It s not the way they do it right, and it s not going to make money, it s going to the people they should be making the money they need to do it, not making the most of it, but they should make the most money they can do it the best they can they do the most effective way they can, right there? This is the kind of stuff they can make the best of it and they should get the most out of their time and they have the most people in the best possible way possible, right here in the most efficient way, right in America, right on the best way possible. . We re not talking about this episode, we re talking about it in this episode of Miami Vice Vice. We re going to talk about it, right now, y'all. We're living in the present day, yay! and we re not even getting started yet.
00:00:05.000So G. Gordon Liddy, in this episode of Miami Vice, was a sergeant in Vietnam, and right when Saigon fell, he held on to 300 kilos of pure heroin, and he took it to the United States in dead bodies.
00:01:35.000What he said was it wasn't the CIA. What it was is some people in the CIA. He said it's some cowboys in the CIA. And that's what makes the most sense to me.
00:01:44.000Like, this idea that the big organization in the CIA would be involved in drug smuggling seems like so crazy.
00:03:19.000I'm pretty good at recognizing bullshit.
00:03:21.000You know, and he's a longtime CIA operative, and he's a fucking great guy.
00:03:25.000I mean, he really does seem like he loves America.
00:03:28.000Like, I don't think he's bullshitting.
00:03:30.000I think there's a lot of those guys, they get in those positions, and they get a group of them together, just like they did with Rampart, with those fucking bad cops.
00:03:37.000They get a group of them together, and they go, look, What happened?
00:04:07.000There was factions, like a brown bag, like a black bag faction that went in after the Marines would go in and they'd shoot everybody and throw cards.
00:04:17.000When you're shipping heroin, From wherever the fuck that is considered, all the way to the United States, through three or two different airports, and people have to unload them, and you have, you know, whatever people walking through your plane when they first come in,
00:04:39.000You know, this isn't me and you getting a boat and going to Columbia and paying some guy with me and Red Band and we just shoot across with police scanners and try our best.
00:04:49.000You know, to make, to infiltrate, to bring in that amount of heroin, you have to spend a lot of dough.
00:04:58.000That's where you set the wholesale and the retail prices.
00:05:01.000You know, years ago, 20 years ago, they would smuggle it 60 miles in, 70, 45, 50 miles in from the United States around Miami, and they would dump it overboard with weights.
00:05:12.000And 12 hours later, the boom would explode, and the bales would rise up, and you'd come by, a fisherman would come by and put the bales in.
00:05:20.000Meanwhile, the DEA was looking for that boat that was speeding across on their radar.
00:05:26.000But they would throw, you know, that takes expensive equipment to devise, something to throw you, you know, 50 pounds of cocaine 100 feet under the water, and then 12 hours later, everything blows, and your coke rises to the top.
00:05:40.000And now some guy comes and just picks it up.
00:05:46.000That was one part of the things they did.
00:05:48.000You know, after a while, to beat the federal government, you gotta, you gotta, and it doesn't, listen, man, what the budget is for fighting drugs and what a drug dealer spends a month, I'm talking about a guy that's bringing in a thousand kilos a month of powder, whether it be heroin or fucking cocaine.
00:06:32.000Where they used to have, in Harlem, Spanish Harlem, Black Harlem.
00:06:36.000Skid Row is scarier than all those places.
00:06:37.000You know, they had people nodding at the lights.
00:06:39.000People waiting across the street and they'd nod at the fucking lights.
00:06:42.000You know what they don't have, though, in New York, that they have here in L.A.? See, in New York, all these cities have buildings.
00:06:47.000There's, like, these streets where these people are.
00:06:51.000It's like, these are places where other folks go.
00:06:53.000Like, you got all your homeless people, you got, you know, your poor people, but there's cars that go through those areas, and it's, you know, it's well-traveled.
00:08:41.000They have these areas where they have, like, they give them food, or they have, you know, areas where they can get medical assistance, stuff like that, and those areas are particularly dense.
00:08:50.000Now, when I shot NYPD Blue, I shot at a downtown location, that's a pool hall, kind of, sort of, and they had tons of homeless people, and when I was standing there, I heard people going in, talking about how they had day rentals, The government would pay for 15 days and they'd be out in the street for 15 days.
00:09:44.000Defined in a decision by Jones versus City of Los Angeles is the area east of Main Street, south of 3rd Street, and west of Alameda Street.
00:11:29.000Because it was during a Bill Cosby show that there was an issue.
00:11:33.000Bill Cosby and there was a Roddy Dangerfield show, the same issue.
00:11:39.000And the issue was, the way Great Woods is set up, it's an amphitheater.
00:11:43.000So you're indoors and part of it, and part of it is outdoors.
00:11:46.000The back of it leads out to this lawn area, or at least it did when I worked there.
00:11:51.000And so, you could hear, if you were under the canopy, there was like an acoustic canopy above all the seats in the front, but then the back, there was no seats.
00:12:00.000So it's like, you had monsters behind you.
00:12:02.000So you're trying to watch a show, like, there was one big fight, I think, I want to say it was...
00:12:13.000There was a Jethro Tull concert, and there was a fucking mad riot because people started lighting fires up in the hood, up in the grass area.
00:12:22.000They were just lighting fires, and there was not enough of us.
00:13:41.000And Fiddler's Green, which is a little smaller, I think, on the other side of Denver, they had an issue there, but now, even the Hollywood Bowl.
00:15:00.000The hardest spot of the night is like following someone who crushes.
00:15:03.000Like if you're going on after Diaz, that's the hardest spot of the night.
00:15:05.000But the second hardest part of the night is the first guy.
00:15:09.000The first guy, this first couple minutes is kind of like a throwaway.
00:15:12.000You got to kind of get everybody loose, get everybody feeling good, and then boom hit them and the material has got to have very few bumps in it because you're trying to hypnotize these fuckers.
00:15:21.000So like the early material has got to be like real smooth.
00:15:25.000The more herky-jerky the earlier stuff is, Less likely to trust you, you motherfucker.
00:15:30.000You can't even get me in a goddamn trance.
00:15:32.000You're slipping up your words, you know?
00:15:34.000But if you go out there just smooth style and just walk right into it and really know what the fuck you're doing to get things started, you forget about that.
00:19:22.000After I put that fucking helmet, ratted, chlamydia fucking dick in here, you should kill yourself the first time and when you get to your destination.
00:19:35.000Kill yourself once you get up to heaven.
00:20:13.000When you hear about shit like that, it's like, ooh, that's so depressing.
00:20:17.000You know, it's so depressing when someone just can't keep a hold on it or just gets caught up in a spell and then their life just slips away.
00:20:27.000I know more than I like, I know quite a few people.
00:20:31.000I have a real problem with those goddamn pills.
00:21:39.000Yeah, she has, she gets Vicodin in any downer.
00:21:42.000And then, uh, it's weird, because then she can't sleep at night, so it's her all pill-ed up, just talking, like, online, and like, on Periscope and shit, and you're just like, what the fuck?
00:21:56.000It's weird watching strangers on Periscope also, just, you know, late night.
00:22:00.000How long before somebody kills himself on Periscope?
00:23:07.000It was too mind-boggling, like not having a mom.
00:23:12.000So I called her up one day, and I stopped dating her, and I started dating this other Irish chick, and I never thought about her again, you know?
00:23:19.000I know she was mad, and then my mother died.
00:23:23.000And I was like, that's the first person I thought of was this poor girl.
00:23:27.000Like, I knew what she fucking felt like now.
00:23:29.000I could never imagine that pain when I was dating her, when she told me that.
00:23:33.000I'm like, what are you fucking talking about?
00:27:25.000And he was eating, he was eating, what's the German, five milligram, the shit that just puts, not testosterone, not decadarablin, but he was eating that gorilla shit.
00:27:36.000We're guaranteed to gain, not decadarablin, D-ball!
00:28:27.000And he keeps calling me every morning, going, Doug, I don't know how the fuck you did it at 16. I got the most respect for you in the world.
00:28:41.000Like that crazy dude, the bodybuilder, that was fucking, you know, we would take him to bars and we'd say, Rago, get on top of the fucking stage and pose.
00:30:56.000And he goes, I go to this person's house, and they were gay in 82. These two guys were gay, but he grew up with them, and he remained friends with them, and he didn't care they were gay.
00:31:23.000That's like, you know, listen man, when you're at that level of a guy and that type of gym situation, think about it, you and I have never been that guy.
00:31:32.000But there are guys, you know how people smoke a joint?
00:31:35.000In Rocky the other day, I'm watching the beginning of Rocky, he goes to the corner, there's 18 guys sharing a wine bottle, and he takes the wine bottle and he takes a sip of it.
00:31:42.000I'm thinking to myself, that's fucking the flu.
00:31:45.000But in those days, in those days, you had to do that to be part of a guy.
00:33:27.000I mean literally the guy would walk his his arms like you know guys fake that this is a really how he stood I mean just it was massively muscular and he went to a party one night in college There was these college kids and some college kids mouthed off to him.
00:33:41.000He knocked out three college kids He was like a bull who just charged at people and punched him.
00:35:04.000When I was 21 and seeing him like just like this deflated person I was like this is the weirdest shit I've ever seen in my life But back then no one knew what the fuck it was.
00:35:14.000We're talking about like 1988 It was when I was 21. I didn't know what that meant I didn't understand how he got smaller like it didn't make any sense to me Like I didn't know anybody that was a bodybuilder or anything.
00:35:25.000So it was just weird It was just weird to see him small and then as I got older and started talking to people like especially when I was working at a I was working at a Gold's Gym or Nautilus Plus.
00:35:39.000And I knew this dude in there who was a he was a bodybuilder and he kind of schooled me on some of it I go because he was huge and I go do you take steroids?
00:35:53.000He was the first guy I ever met that was like super open about it He had these like he would wear like those Daisy Duke shorts back then bodybuilders were those Daisy Duke shorts This kid had these fucking giant tanned legs.
00:36:04.000They were enormous He was fucking huge.
00:38:21.000You see those guys a year later, they have a heart attack, they get deflated, something happens, and they go to prison, and then they can't do it, and they come out, and you ask them, are the tattoos all fucked up now?
00:38:35.000Yes, it always, and people, you know, I watched that documentary, and we contacted each other by talking, the stereo one that doesn't harm you, and I believe that.
00:39:10.000And they blow up for the summer, and then they like it.
00:39:13.000I'm telling you, I was part of that crew.
00:39:14.000My friends, I remember the Chaddock driving back from the shore on Sundays, how they couldn't wait to get home because it was their second rest day.
00:39:22.000And today was going to be the biggest day.
00:39:24.000I'm thinking of going home, taking a shower, and going out because I'm huge.
00:40:34.000Some people that do, you know, I've never done it, but people that have done, like, a lot of it will tell you that they always want to have something to calm them down afterwards, take the edge off of it.
00:41:02.000I'd go over there and take the 60 and then I'd have to hide it in my jacket and I'd have to sit there for four hours with this coke and my jacket calling me in the afternoon.
00:41:10.000So I would do a little bump and then get paranoid and jerk off and then it would fuck up my timing at night.
00:43:34.000You know, sometimes you get in a transition period, and you got all these bits that aren't ready, and you bring them up, and it's like you got three of them, so you bomb for two weeks, but all of a sudden, one night, they all come together.
00:43:50.000I had good sets in Boston, but anything I tried out of the ordinary in Boston wasn't clicking for me, so I just stuck to the fucking original.
00:43:57.000And then I came back to the Comedy Store.
00:48:58.000I get back up, and it's getting worse, guys.
00:49:01.000I turn around, I look down to where the payphone used to be, and now I'm getting the anxiety I get when I'm getting a needle, which means I'm going down.
00:51:20.000That's the same voice you do when you do Mitzi.
00:51:22.000Like all the Shores share one Joey Diaz voice.
00:51:25.000Joe, have you ever had that where you were like either too stoned or you just didn't feel good and you're about to go on stage and you almost don't think you could have done it?
00:51:51.000I've been higher, and that hasn't happened to me.
00:51:53.000Sometimes it just catches you at the right time, especially if you have a rough set.
00:51:57.000If you had a rough set the night before, if you're working on some new stuff and it doesn't go over right and you can't recover, I mean, we've all been there.
00:52:03.000If you haven't been there, it's just because you haven't taken enough chances.
00:54:58.000Because it's still better than going drinking.
00:55:00.000If you go drinking, okay, if we have a few drinks, like if I go and get us around and all four of us went out drinking, and I look at this kid's shots and a beer, that's like a hundred bucks, right?
00:55:53.000Especially if you stayed downtown because you eat at Sam's, that motherfucking green chili for breakfast with those two eggs and some wheat toast and a bowl of fruit.
00:57:14.000So, let's just say the power goes to this side, so you'd eat ten biscuits and nothing would happen and people would go, oh my god, I got a dud.
00:57:22.000That means the next one's gonna be good.
01:01:09.000I had a friend who was after a while, he was doing hookers, and he said they would jerk him off with his feet because he was scared of the hiv.
01:01:14.000So he'd just have him jerk him off with his feet in a car.
01:01:39.000And Eddie was talking about what it must be like to be a really famous guy who's really rich, but you're also maybe not the most attractive guy in the world.
01:01:48.000So maybe some of them, they want to get to know you, but then when you want them to be sexually attracted to you, it doesn't happen.
01:01:55.000And so if you're a creep you start drugging them and and that's what what Eddie was Proposing he was saying like maybe like he just got tired of them saying no And he thought he was better than them and just dropped it in I forget exactly the Eddie's words But I hadn't considered it like that I hadn't thought about it like that like maybe maybe they're not all saying yes I mean maybe it is what I'm weird thing with them where it got like really frustrating and then he just decided to do it or Is it possible?
01:02:24.000That maybe this was like a much more prevalent and accepted thing in the circles that he was running in in like the 1960s?
01:02:33.000Is it possible that people like you would talk about people giving people a mickey or he did a joke about Spanish fly and that Spanish fly joke?
01:02:41.000Is it possible that more people were doing this back then and we're just finding out about it now?
01:02:46.000I don't know, because, I mean, the Slipping the Mickey thing was totally...
01:02:50.000I mean, and the Spanish Fly thing was almost common.
01:02:53.000Like, people talked about it almost...
01:04:31.000What's the last rape scene that made you uncomfortable?
01:04:35.000There's always rape scenes that make you uncomfortable, but what I'm saying is that you couldn't have a joke about potentially raping a girl, like Animal House.
01:04:43.000You could have a horrible scene in a realistic show, but where the devil's on your shoulder in a comedy going, fucker, fucker!
01:08:32.000Probably should call off the car chase, huh?
01:08:34.000Listen, guys, the car chases in those days were so tough.
01:08:36.000When you see that movie with McQueen and they're chasing him in San Francisco and that Mustang, that was so much tougher to drive that car.
01:10:40.000The guy's got this gigantic Dodge Charger, and he's got this dope 68 Mustang, which, for cars back then, handled really goddamn good.
01:10:49.000I mean, that was a lightweight car with a good amount of power, but, you know, there are drum brakes and shitty suspension, and so these guys are driving around the corners in these cars.
01:14:07.000I was looking in the back of one of those hot rod magazines and they had this kit car thing.
01:14:12.000It was like not that much money either for the kit and you put it together yourself and you have to, I think you have to put an engine in it, you have to do the whole thing.
01:14:41.000There's a car, I think it's called the Noble, I think it's called, but it's a car, I think it's from England, and they ship it over here.
01:14:47.000It's this beautiful, crazy-looking sports car.
01:14:50.000They ship it over here with no engine, and you have to get an engine put in it.
01:14:54.000It's like, so it's not really, I mean, they don't consider it a car when you buy it, and that's how they can sell it to you, because it's not, you know, it doesn't have all the, it doesn't pass all the regulations that you need.
01:16:52.000I think it's one of those things that would be really hard to do indoors.
01:16:55.000Because I think it's something that they do, like when they make heroin, you need a lot of land to make a smaller amount of heroin than you would think.
01:18:21.000I think it starts out when they just have a little bit of a bruised area or a fucked up area and then they just get hooked on shooting it in and they keep shooting in that spot and it keeps getting worse and worse and it's just not getting better and then it starts really going downhill and then they get super depressed and they keep shooting it in there.
01:20:02.000If not, some drug dealer would have hired a chemist and said, bring it over here.
01:20:06.000Some Chinese guy, okay, with tons of loot, would have got another genius Chinese guy 30 years ago and said, teach us how to grow this shit in Jersey.
01:21:25.000You know, and there's all sorts of reasons why they have excuses why they let them do it, or why it's happening, or why, you know, the army helps them.
01:21:33.000So pills are at their all-time highest, and heroin's at their all-time highest.
01:22:05.000A lot of pharmaceuticals, we think of them as pharmaceuticals, but a lot of them, they're actually getting some of the chemicals from plants.
01:22:12.000You know, that's one of the reasons why they mine the rainforest.
01:22:15.000They're always looking for different plants that they can exploit, and they can make pharmaceutical drugs out of.
01:22:20.000It's kind of like, I remember when I was a hippie, a lot of people had synthetic peyote, and I don't know what that even means, but I think they just took the compounds, whatever makes, you know, real peyote, and just recreate it in a lab somehow.
01:23:09.000You would have thought that, like, synthetic cocaine or lidocaine or whatever the fuck it is that they're using, whatever versions of medical-grade cocaine that they use, you would have thought, somehow or another, that's coming from chemicals.
01:23:32.000I think synthetic means they take some of the origin and they put other shit in it to match it and they make it cheaper for you.
01:23:39.000It's like when you go to the store now and you go, hi, I'm here to pick up my medication.
01:23:43.000They go, well, we wanted to ask you a question.
01:23:45.000Do you want the original Oxycontin or do you want Melocontin, which is the same, only made in Switzerland, but instead of $80, the prescription is $28.
01:25:20.000Sometimes they still do it that way today.
01:25:22.000They're taking a chunk of bone off my knee and a chunk of bone off my shin and a sliver of my patella tendon.
01:25:29.000And then they open you up like a fish, screw this piece of meat and use the bone piece that they cut out of the shin and the bone piece that they cut out of the kneecap and then they reconstruct the knee.
01:25:41.000And it hurts like a motherfucker, dude.
01:26:10.000It's totally different than the patella tendon graft.
01:26:13.000Your leg blows up like a fucking balloon.
01:26:15.000But I'm lying in bed and they have me on this continuous motion machine.
01:26:18.000From the moment you come out of the operating room, they don't want your leg to stiffen up because then it's really hard to get moving again.
01:26:24.000Once you get really rigid, the trauma sets in and it's really difficult to straighten your leg out.
01:26:30.000So right away, they have you on this thing.
01:27:29.000My friend's mom had cancer, and she went through all the channels, and she was on her way out, and she decided to go out on her own by taking all her morphine.
01:27:39.000She just said, look, what a beautiful way to do it.
01:28:08.000You know, you could run into those type of people that would actually kill a family member to get some money from the will, kill a wife, you know?
01:28:19.000But I think that Still, for someone who's dying, man, for your mom or something like that, when it's the last days, and you've got to watch her just in agony constantly with no light at the end of the tunnel, you know, she's 90 years old or whatever the hell she is, like, fuck, man.
01:28:34.000Like, you've got to have a heart, man.
01:29:12.000What's amazing is how many people benefit from CBDs from marijuana and how few people are getting it.
01:29:18.000You know, the more I read about this and the more I talk to people that have had it and talk to people that have loved ones that have tried it on cancer and had incredible results, it just drives me nuts.
01:29:29.000It's just so hard to believe that that stuff is still demonized, that people are still pretending that it's one of the worst things that society can make legal.
01:29:37.000If it only did that with cancer, forget about the getting high part.
01:29:41.000If it only did that for cancer, do you know how magical that drug would be?
01:30:36.000You can't even get high from this shit.
01:30:37.000I mean, it's really crazy if you stopped and thought about it.
01:30:40.000If it was a plot in a movie, if there was something that was as powerful as the marijuana plant, it was something that had so many benefits, And it was somehow or another kept illegal.
01:30:49.000And somehow or another the propaganda kept people thinking that it would be one of the worst things for a society if they were to make this legal.
01:34:23.000Rogan Construction was a company started by your grandpa in Newark and his two brothers and then he hired their sons and now they have 12 full-time employees and they've been putzing along since 1948 doing new construction and houses and remodels,
01:34:40.000but whatever, they're keeping their lights on.
01:34:42.000And all of a sudden, a GC comes in, who's a general contractor on this job, who's somebody like fucking Trump.
01:34:48.000And he hires people like Rogan Construction and Search Electric and, oh God, it's fucking plumbing.
01:38:29.000Yeah, but he would go under, like, he would go to, he was the top builder, and he would go to Joe Rogan Construction, and he would put it all under your name.
01:39:24.000I think Clinton, you know, Clinton had a lot of flavor and he did some good stuff too.
01:39:30.000But I think Obama has been the most, maybe it's just the times that we're in, he's the most noticeable when it comes to like Spreading this like what I think is like an improvement in the way people think You know first of all by being black second of all by a support of gay rights Really like blatant support like where they turn the fucking White House rainbow when it got passed I mean that's crazy shit,
01:39:53.000man That's never existed before when you see when you saw that picture of the White House being rainbow colored at night I was like this is nuts man.
01:40:01.000That wouldn't happen with Nixon This is some shit that's similar to the fucking abolition of slavery.
01:41:59.000I think it was Jessica Andrade MMA fighter and she was talking about how many people in Brazil are homophobic in comparison to the United States and she's like it's really nice to see the United States doing this and hopefully more people in Brazil think this way too and you realize like that a lot of like Latin American countries especially like you were talking about Cuba and You were talking to me the other night about Cuba.
01:44:11.000I think Northern Italy, those hard-headed motherfuckers, you can't tell those motherfuckers you're a finok, or whatever the fuck they call them.
01:44:17.000Right, but that's also where the Vatican is.
01:46:05.000The 75-year-old prince of the church enjoys a 12-room apartment on the first floor of the imposing palazzo at 2 Via Carducci, just yards from the ground floor entrance to the steamy flesh pot.
01:46:22.000There are 18 other Vatican apartments in the block, many of which house priests.
01:46:27.000Cardinal Diaz, who is seen as a social conservative even by current standards of the church hierarchy, is no doubt horrified to learn of the activities taking place a floor below.
01:46:47.000You know what it's probably like, man?
01:46:49.000One of those fucking trees that you hang over your rear view?
01:46:52.000That's like his house butt in his house.
01:46:54.000A weekly bear night featuring Bruno, a hairy, overweight pastor of souls who dresses in Catholic vestments naturally, is free to the music of his clergyman, remaining in a thong.
01:50:09.000Like, what the fuck is it that makes someone sexually attracted to kids?
01:50:13.000What a bizarre thing to exist in nature.
01:50:17.000I mean, it's almost like a suicide gene.
01:50:20.000It's almost like, in having that, your body is so weak, your mind is so weak, everything is so off-kilter, you're trying to get yourself killed.
01:50:30.000And there's no better way to get yourself killed than fucking someone's kids.
01:50:33.000Like, do you know any people, like, you remember that video where the guy's walking through the airport, and he had molested, he was a karate instructor, and he had molested some kids, and this guy's, one of the kid's dads waited for him in the airport, and as he walked by with the cops, walks up to his head, boom!
01:50:48.000Blows his brains out, just drops the gun on the ground.
01:54:33.000If I'm gonna watch a movie from that era, and if I come home, say if I go to a hotel room, hey, you're bored, you're like, what's on TV? And you turn it on and you get this, you get excited.
01:54:47.000You know, you thought you were just going to be by yourself, watching some terrible movie, and it turns out High Plains Drifter is on HBO or something.
01:55:38.000I told you, I gotta get one of those John Wick guns.
01:55:41.000I'll tell you, that John Wick, the first 20 minutes, until he hooks up with the chick, once he hooks up with the chick, it bothers me for a while.
01:55:47.000But then you click it on with 45 minutes left, that is one of the best kick-ass scenes since Bruce Lee and Enter the Dragon.
01:59:08.000And they spell it with a Z. And then one of the biggest lieutenants in Sicilian history is a Diaz with a C. And then we just saw that priest with an S. A Diaz with a C? A Z. And then you have...
01:59:23.000The fucking lunatics up in Stockton, and they're Mexican.
02:00:45.000It's three years going on four years now, and the drought is pretty ferocious.
02:00:51.000They're saying that California used 29% less water last month, so people are working to try to solve it, but what was occurring to me when I was thinking about this is we know for a fact that there's areas of the world that used to be lush And then they became desert.
02:01:09.000We know for a fact about the Nile Valley, like in Egypt, where the pyramids used to be, where the pyramids are, rather.
02:01:15.000Before that, like 9,000 years ago, they know there was a rainforest there.
02:01:19.000And slowly over time, shit just changed, and then there's not that much rainfall.
02:01:24.000And that could easily happen in California.
02:02:49.000If it doesn't rain but once or twice a year, or ten times a year, or twenty times a year, there have been way crazier things than a shift in our climate to the point where it rains zero.
02:04:04.000In Ohio and in Houston, look at Galveston, it's raining so much that there's shit water everywhere and people are losing their sight because it's overfilled all the sewage and stuff.
02:05:47.000A woman loses sight in one eye after a mud run.
02:05:50.000A young woman went blind in one eye within 24 hours after catching a flesh-eating bacteria during a mud run in Dallas this month because of all the flooding.
02:09:50.000You know, with all this transgender talk, I was telling these motherfuckers on stage the night that that chick showed us a pussy in Las Vegas that was a transgender.
02:10:40.000So beautiful that she was walking up the hill, or driving up the hill, you know, by, uh, it used to be the Hyatt next to the Comedy Store.
02:10:47.000She was driving up that hill, and Eddie Bravo and I were coming down the hill, we were walking, and she was coming up, and Eddie looked at her and he goes, God damn!
02:13:24.000I mean, some guys don't prefer them, but they're willing to accept artificially enhanced breasts.
02:13:28.000So breasts that change your body and they turn your body into something that's more womanly or more, for whatever reason, it activates that part of your lizard brain that sees the big fleshy tits and thinks that this girl will be able to take care of my babies well.
02:13:53.000It's not just a matter of someone giving you affection.
02:13:55.000It's a matter of someone giving you affection in a very specific shape that rings in your brain.
02:14:00.000Well, they can do that, and do that absolutely perfectly, and they will be able to eventually, if they can already right now, and turn a guy into the exact shape of a woman that's hot as fuck.
02:14:12.000At the end of the day, you can search around for some fucking hidden crackerjack toy.
02:14:18.000You can lift her up and look around and try to figure out, okay...
02:14:31.000And you'll eventually decide that it's a woman.
02:14:34.000Because your brain processes that as female.
02:14:37.000Your brain processes the words as female, the shape as female, and if someone could figure out how to do it just perfectly, just perfectly, like genetically, they figured out how to go in there and fucking tweak this shit.
02:14:49.000They're close to doing crazy shit like that.
02:14:51.000You saw that thing that Rhonda Patrick tweeted?
02:16:03.000One day it's the government will have a switch and we'll just decided to today we're gonna be a girl day Today everyone is gonna learn to be more sensitive to women because we're all gonna be women and just hit a switch The entire city is a woman and then that's when the Mongols invade come over the hill and they fuck everyone including all the alpha males They just get fucked like chicks and here's a secret.
02:17:15.000So if you have like a cancerous growth in your body, they'll be able to send these machines through your bloodstream to attack these sick areas of your body.
02:17:25.000I mean, we're gonna see some fucking nutty shit in our day, and a man turning into a woman is like the least of the nutty shit.
02:17:31.000If we could stay alive, we could all in this room stay alive to 100, we're gonna see some shit.
02:17:36.000But he hasn't cut this dick off yet, Caitlin.
02:20:19.000When you're looking at something like this, this has been through more fucking computers, I mean more screens and filters and we all know that.
02:20:28.000We all know about the difference between what someone would look like in real life and someone would look like in like a super well done photograph like that.
02:22:40.000And to make money, the government or the doctors gave her a certain amount of pills a month, and she became a pill addict.
02:22:49.000Because the pain from the surgery plus all the psychological and everything like she, you know, she was raised in like the four, you know, when I met Rita in 95, Rita was 50 already, you know what I'm saying?
02:23:01.000So I was 20-something, maybe 30. So she was telling me that when she was growing up, her mother and father would beat her when she would tell them that she was really a woman.
02:26:12.000When I was a kid, Jimmy Balzano, who was my brother, I knew he was gay.
02:26:16.000I knew he was slinging dick, but it took no fucking genius to tell you that my brother, I grew up in his house with his other three brothers.
02:26:25.000If he came to me today and said, I'm a transgender, I would hug him and go, dog, since the eighth grade, I can tell you were a dick sucker.
02:26:31.000I had no doubts in my heart that you weren't going to suck dick, even though you were fucking girls in the neighborhood because you were so good looking.
02:27:31.000You knew there's people like that, that they walk around, you know they'll suck a dick if they had to, if they got into a tight spot one night.
02:29:17.000In today's society, when we were growing up in Boston or Denver, you lived at your grandfather's in Newark, people would have a little fucking blue cup.
02:34:09.000Listen to these horns, because we grew up on guitars, ladies and gentlemen, for you fucking morons, with the DJ and the dude, the little Chinese dude.
02:40:00.000I've got to fucking get myself fired up in the shower and let people know that when I'm going out there, somebody's going to suck your dick today, whether they want it or not.
02:40:10.000Joey, do you ever have them delete any of your stuff?
02:47:19.000They have some crazy community somewhere outside of Atlanta.
02:47:23.000It's like one of those engineered communities, and they have all these recreations, and it's a gated community.
02:47:28.000But they had this, the Punchline, had a Punchline comedy night, and all these people are sitting outside, and they decided to have a comedy night at their community.
02:47:35.000Did you say the Punchline's not open anymore?
02:48:05.000That's also the green room where Seth Petruzzelli fought Kimbo Slice and I called the fight like right before it happened because Ken Shamrock got injured warming up for the first fight and then all of a sudden instead of Ken Kimbo Slice had to fight Seth Petruzzelli and I went what?
02:48:21.000And as soon as I saw it, I'm like, oh my god, Seth Petruzzelli's gonna fuck him up.
02:48:24.000Like, this is a terrible fight for him.
02:51:32.000So, what I'm saying is there's some people who could find a guy on the floor and live with it, and there's some people who can't digest it.
02:54:52.000You hit on it and figured out what it was, and it's almost like you released something.
02:55:00.000Like, you had, like, a demon inside you.
02:55:01.000You pulled it out, and you released it.
02:55:03.000And then, all of a sudden, you were crushing it.
02:55:05.000I remember I think it was Tripoli and I were in the back by the the back hallway And it was like one of the times where you just really started crushing and Tripoli was like Joey Diaz is on another level I go yeah, man like what the fuck like you just caught it you like you caught a wave and all of a sudden you were surfing and And then from then on,
02:55:38.000Like, there was nights in the OR where you were destroying, and we were falling out of the backstage.
02:55:42.000We would leave, like, laughing so hard, we would go down the back stairs, out into the hallway, and there'd be, like, two or three guys slapping their leg laughing.