The Joe Rogan Experience - September 17, 2015


Joe Rogan Experience #697 - Christopher Ryan


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 47 minutes

Words per Minute

175.92538

Word Count

29,403

Sentence Count

2,717

Misogynist Sentences

94

Hate Speech Sentences

84


Summary

Chris Ryan confesses that he lied about working in the Twin Towers on 9/11, and Ari tries to figure out why he would do such a thing. Also, Ari talks about why he doesn t want to be an accountant anymore, and why he thinks he s better off as a writer. And Chris Ryan talks about his new book, which is out now, which you should probably listen to if you haven t already read it. Chris Ryan is a standup comic, comedian, writer, podcaster, and podcaster. He's been around for a long time, and he's a good friend of mine, so it's no surprise that he's come out of the closet and come out with a bunch of crazy stories about what he's been telling people for years. And Ari and Ari talk about how they feel about it, and how they think it's a really dumbass thing to do, and what it means to be a liar. And they also talk about why they don't want to have a job anymore, because they're tired of being an accountant, and they want to write a book about it. And they talk about what it's like being a writer, and writing a book, and not having a job, and it's not even worth it anymore. And it's pretty funny, so you should listen to it, you know what they're right there, and you should do it, right? And you should read the book, because it's good, right here, right in front and center, right next to you, right on the front, right at your computer, right across the screen. . . . right in your computer. Thanks for listening to this episode of the pod, Ari? You're awesome, Ari, you're awesome and you're good at it, buddy! Thank you so much, and we appreciate it, we really appreciate it. Thank you, and I'm glad you're here, we love you, we appreciate you, thank you, bye, bye. - Ari, and good night, bye! xoxo, Caitie - Caitie and Ari, Sarah, and Jon, and much more, Jon and Ari and Sarah, Love ya, Jon, - Caitie, Sarah and Ari and Jon & Ari, Cheers, XOXO, Kristy, Mike and Mike, Kevin and Sarah


Transcript

00:00:00.000 That could be, yeah.
00:00:11.000 Chris Ryan and I have decided that for my friend Steve Renizzisi, who just admitted that he lied about working in the September 11th, the Twin Towers during September 11th, that we're just going to lie all day.
00:00:26.000 So this podcast is all bullshit.
00:00:29.000 Everything we say.
00:00:31.000 Psychologically, this is a tough one for me because I really like Steve.
00:00:36.000 He's a good friend.
00:00:37.000 I really like that guy.
00:00:38.000 I see him in the comedy store all the time.
00:00:40.000 I've known him for years.
00:00:41.000 I really like him.
00:00:43.000 And then I see this and I'm just like, Jesus Christ.
00:00:47.000 You know what gets me?
00:00:50.000 What gets me when someone does something like this is I imagine what it would be like to be them, to have told some sort of a crazy lie and got stuck telling it, where you're repeating it over and over again, and then you just got, it just becomes like it's locked in.
00:01:09.000 It's like, how do you erase it?
00:01:10.000 How do you go back and take a lie away?
00:01:13.000 Especially if you transition from like a regular guy who just bullshits with his friends to a public figure.
00:01:20.000 Like I guess this guy got famous at some point, right?
00:01:23.000 So then you've got your lies that all your friends think are true.
00:01:27.000 And now you're doing interviews with the fucking Wall Street Journal or whatever.
00:01:31.000 And if that comes up, What do you do?
00:01:33.000 You stick to your guns or you humiliate yourself in your private circle?
00:01:41.000 Well, apparently he did humiliate himself in his private circle.
00:01:45.000 He pulled Ari and a few guys aside years ago and told them that it wasn't true.
00:01:50.000 No shit.
00:01:51.000 Yeah.
00:01:52.000 Oh, that's interesting.
00:01:53.000 Yeah, I mean, I guess I'd just been fucking with him forever.
00:01:58.000 I just, you know...
00:01:59.000 Good for him.
00:02:00.000 He's coming out of the closet.
00:02:02.000 Although he got pulled out of the closet, I guess.
00:02:04.000 I think he got pulled out by the New York Times.
00:02:05.000 I think the New York Times got him.
00:02:07.000 You know, they do their research and they found out that he didn't really work for Merrill Lynch.
00:02:12.000 You know, he said he worked for Merrill Lynch for like a year and a half as an account manager.
00:02:15.000 Didn't really work for Merrill Lynch.
00:02:17.000 As you were saying before the mics went on, like, what a dumbass lie.
00:02:21.000 Like, oh, Merrill Lynch account manager?
00:02:23.000 Wow, let me suck your dick.
00:02:24.000 Like, who gives a shit?
00:02:26.000 You used to work for Maryland?
00:02:27.000 It's like, hey, I used to be an accountant, baby, you know?
00:02:31.000 I like how lies for Chris Ryan immediately translate into potential sex.
00:02:35.000 Why else would you lie?
00:02:37.000 Why else would you lie?
00:02:38.000 Nothing else is worth it, you know?
00:02:40.000 I guess to get a better job or something, maybe that would be something.
00:02:44.000 I don't want a job.
00:02:47.000 My entire life has been about avoiding ever having a job.
00:02:51.000 Other than blow job.
00:02:53.000 Writing books even.
00:02:54.000 Just like, God, let me just get this out of the way so I don't have to have a job.
00:02:57.000 Dude, I don't ever want to write another fucking book in my life.
00:03:00.000 Even that, I'm trying to get out of.
00:03:02.000 That's hilarious.
00:03:03.000 But you're an author.
00:03:05.000 You're an established, successful author and you're like, fuck, I don't even want to do that.
00:03:10.000 Dude, I wrote a book and suddenly was running a business.
00:03:15.000 Like, I never wanted to have a business.
00:03:17.000 I'm not a business guy.
00:03:18.000 What is the business?
00:03:20.000 Chris Ryan, Inc.
00:03:22.000 You know what it's like.
00:03:24.000 If, like, you're in the paper, suddenly managers are calling you and lawyers and you've got, you know, you've got the sort of parasite infrastructure that gloms onto you like, you know, those things on the bottom of boats, you know?
00:03:38.000 And it's like, no offense to any accountants who are...
00:03:43.000 But you know what I mean, right?
00:03:45.000 I mean, you know, Joe Rogan Enterprises is a huge thing, you know?
00:03:50.000 And that must take a lot of time, a lot of attention.
00:03:53.000 And so even in my, you know, micro scale, it's just a giant pain in the ass.
00:03:57.000 It certainly can be.
00:03:59.000 Fortunately for me, I don't think of anything that I'm doing as, like, really work work.
00:04:04.000 You know, it's just stuff I enjoy doing that happens to be an occupation rather than...
00:04:10.000 Also, what you're doing, you're at a level where you can afford to hire good people to help you.
00:04:16.000 I'm not.
00:04:17.000 And my wife is useless.
00:04:21.000 She's a wonderful woman, don't get me wrong.
00:04:24.000 And she's very good at certain things, but producing a podcast, editing a book, the kind of stuff I need someone to do, I have to answer her emails.
00:04:34.000 She can't be bothered.
00:04:36.000 When you hear a guy like this Rent is Easy story, when you hear a lie, does it freak you out?
00:04:42.000 You know what?
00:04:42.000 Here's the thing that freaks me out.
00:04:44.000 And it freaks me out.
00:04:45.000 Even like the Jared from Subway thing or when I read something about some guy who was methed up.
00:04:51.000 I forget what the article was about.
00:04:53.000 I think the article was about a guy who was friends with a guy who turned out to be a murderer.
00:04:58.000 And it's about a guy who got methed up and got involved in some rough sex with some prostitute and killed her and then sawed her up and left her fucking body in bags and shit.
00:05:09.000 Could have been an accident.
00:05:12.000 Whenever I hear about anybody who's just gone completely off the rails like that, I always say, okay, If I was that guy, if I was born in his shoes, if I lived his life, would I have been that fucking guy?
00:05:27.000 Like, how much of what we are is determinism?
00:05:31.000 You know, how much of what we are is based on the events that took place that are completely outside of our control?
00:05:36.000 About how much of it is how we were raised?
00:05:39.000 I mean, we've all heard...
00:05:40.000 People tell, like, terrible stories about how their parents raised them.
00:05:44.000 Terrible stories about the environment they're forced into.
00:05:47.000 And you always wonder, like, how much of who each one of us is is based on a bunch of shit that's completely outside of your control.
00:05:56.000 And how much of these events that take place, whether it's the Jared from Subway thing or...
00:06:02.000 I had my friend Barry Crimmins on, who's this great comedian and a real icon in Boston, and Bobcat Goldthwait did a film on him about his horrific childhood sexual abuse.
00:06:14.000 He was raped when he was four years old by his babysitter's boyfriend, and it was this horrific, horrific story.
00:06:22.000 And, you know, this is something completely outside of this guy's control, and how much of who he is now is based on that.
00:06:29.000 Well, he's, like, in his 50s, and this is, like, still something he's dealing with from when he was four, you know?
00:06:36.000 It's just, what you are now is, like, this series of events that have kind of...
00:06:46.000 A lot of them just laid out in front of you without you having any control over it at all.
00:06:52.000 Now here you are.
00:06:54.000 And when I see a guy that does something really crazy...
00:06:57.000 I mean, this is, like, minorly crazy.
00:07:00.000 We're not talking about a horrific crime, like a Bill Cosby thing or something like that.
00:07:04.000 We're back to the comedian now.
00:07:06.000 Yeah, the comedian.
00:07:07.000 Not the chopped-up prostitute.
00:07:08.000 No, no, no.
00:07:09.000 I mean, Steve Renazizi, my friend.
00:07:12.000 You know, what he did just doesn't make any sense.
00:07:17.000 And you just wonder, like, what it must be like...
00:07:21.000 Fuck!
00:07:22.000 To be that guy who's done that, who's just like said this thing for no fucking reason, it doesn't make any sense, and then has to stick with it.
00:07:30.000 Just, I don't, I mean, that's my angle on these things.
00:07:33.000 Instead of getting upset about, I mean, especially this one.
00:07:36.000 But how does that relate to what you're saying?
00:07:38.000 Do you feel like if you may, if you were in the position he was in, you might have done something similar?
00:07:43.000 I always worry that, yeah.
00:07:45.000 I always, whenever I see someone do anything crazy, like murder or craziness or anything, I always say, well, How much of who you are is because of your life experiences?
00:07:53.000 A lot of them outside of your control.
00:07:55.000 Your genetics, your parents, the environment that you were raised up, and the people that you came in contact with when you were younger.
00:08:02.000 How much of that is who you are today in 2015?
00:08:06.000 I think it's, goddammit, I think it's a lot.
00:08:09.000 And so I see this guy, you know, my friend, and again, Steve Renazizi, what he did was just dumb.
00:08:16.000 It's not evil.
00:08:18.000 Nobody got hurt, you know?
00:08:19.000 I mean, he might have hurt someone's feelings, people that actually were survivors of 9-11.
00:08:24.000 That's potentially possible.
00:08:26.000 But you know what I mean?
00:08:27.000 He didn't rape anybody.
00:08:28.000 He didn't murder anybody.
00:08:31.000 It's just fucking, what happened?
00:08:33.000 How does that, how does the brain get so fucking tweaked?
00:08:37.000 So, and of the lies he's been busted for, the, I was in the Twin Towers at 9-11 is the one that everyone's focused on, right?
00:08:46.000 Yeah, no one gives a fuck about lying about working for Merrill Lynch.
00:08:48.000 Right.
00:08:49.000 Well, although I don't understand why you would, right, like you said, unless you're trying to get laid.
00:08:52.000 And also, like...
00:08:55.000 I would argue that anyone who was a survivor of 9-11 who was actually there has bigger issues to think about than some comedian.
00:09:04.000 So I would argue he didn't really hurt anyone except himself now that he's busted.
00:09:11.000 Rationally, yeah, you're right.
00:09:30.000 Which ultimately never got made, like most TV shows.
00:09:33.000 But when we were putting together the whole summaries of the episodes and all this stuff, he said, so what's your on-air, who are you going to be on the show?
00:09:45.000 And I said, what do you mean?
00:09:46.000 It's like, I'm just going to be me.
00:09:48.000 He said, no, are you going to be the funny guy or are you going to be the really smart professorial guy?
00:09:53.000 What's your image, your persona going to be?
00:09:55.000 I said, I'm just going to be me.
00:09:56.000 He said, oh, you're going to be authentic.
00:09:59.000 With air quotes.
00:10:02.000 I said, what the fuck is that?
00:10:03.000 No, I'm going to be authentic.
00:10:05.000 He's like, no, on TV you can't be really authentic.
00:10:08.000 The most you can be is, quote, authentic.
00:10:11.000 Because you have to be the same every fucking episode.
00:10:15.000 And if you come in one day and you're feeling pissed off because you just had a fight with your wife or you got diarrhea or whatever your issue is, you can't express that.
00:10:25.000 You have to be the same guy you were last week.
00:10:28.000 But why is that?
00:10:29.000 Consistency.
00:10:30.000 Well, it's entertainment.
00:10:30.000 But that's the medium, though.
00:10:32.000 The medium is just so limiting in that way that people expect that every week.
00:10:37.000 That's one of the cool things about a podcast is that they kind of don't.
00:10:40.000 Like when you do Tangentially Speaking, you can kind of like...
00:10:44.000 Oh, thank you.
00:10:44.000 ...be you.
00:10:45.000 Nice.
00:10:46.000 Yeah.
00:10:47.000 I try to, but still, I am conscious of the...
00:10:53.000 The distinction between who I really am and who people are getting the impression I am.
00:11:12.000 TED Talks and Rogan Show and all this stuff.
00:11:15.000 What's that like?
00:11:17.000 Did you feel it happening?
00:11:19.000 Did you expect it?
00:11:20.000 Is it like being on a river and it was just flowing that way?
00:11:23.000 Or were you swimming toward it?
00:11:25.000 And so I tried to address it a little bit.
00:11:27.000 And what I said was, in my very minuscule experience, fame is like wine that tastes really good and can only get you drunk while it's in your mouth.
00:11:38.000 So you swallow it quickly.
00:11:41.000 I know, it's not the best thing.
00:11:42.000 The other metaphor I thought of was like...
00:11:44.000 Oh, okay, okay.
00:11:45.000 So if it's in your mouth, it gets you drunk, but if you swallow it...
00:11:48.000 You're fine.
00:11:49.000 You're fine.
00:11:49.000 Right.
00:11:49.000 Okay.
00:11:50.000 So you...
00:11:51.000 I mean, you know what I'm talking about.
00:11:54.000 Someone comes up to you and they're like nervous and like, oh my God, it's Joe Rogan.
00:11:58.000 Right.
00:11:58.000 And you're like, yeah, I'm just me.
00:12:00.000 Right.
00:12:01.000 I mean, you know the truth.
00:12:03.000 You're just a guy.
00:12:04.000 Right.
00:12:04.000 But they're reacting to what they think you are, which is so much more than what you actually, what anyone is, you know?
00:12:12.000 That's the nature of fame.
00:12:13.000 It's this bullshit thing that only has the value that people apply to it.
00:12:18.000 Right, right, right.
00:12:18.000 And they're applying more to it than you are because you're you, right?
00:12:21.000 And you know what it's like behind the curtain.
00:12:23.000 So, but you don't want to disrespect them either.
00:12:26.000 Right.
00:12:26.000 And you don't want to disrespect what it is that they're experiencing in that moment, even though it's complete bullshit.
00:12:31.000 Right, right, right.
00:12:32.000 I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
00:12:34.000 No, no, you're making sense.
00:12:35.000 Because it's very confusing to people that don't know it.
00:12:39.000 But it's like a magic trick that if it tricks the magician, he's a fucking idiot.
00:12:45.000 You know what I mean?
00:12:46.000 It's like you have a magic.
00:12:48.000 Look, I pull a dove out of my hat.
00:12:50.000 You know there was no fucking dove and the dove's in your sleeve, asshole.
00:12:54.000 You're hiding the dove.
00:12:55.000 I see what you're doing.
00:12:56.000 You know what you're doing.
00:12:56.000 But if you say, I have this amazing ability to make doves appear out of nowhere and you really believe it, well, you're a moron.
00:13:03.000 You know, it's like you have a magic trick in being on television or being, you know, on the radio or in movies or whatever it is.
00:13:10.000 Whatever it is that people get attracted to you by your work, by you being an author, whatever it is.
00:13:17.000 That thing makes you different than another person instead of just like I appreciate Talent like very much so and I can kind of be like I'm a little starstruck when I meet someone that I really appreciate or that I really am admiring of their work,
00:13:34.000 but I kind of know what it is.
00:13:36.000 It's like I've seen it enough times that I'll go, hey, there's that guy that fucking sings that awesome song, hey, I love your shit, man.
00:13:44.000 It's a good thing, but I don't think of him as other than a human being.
00:13:48.000 But I remember one of the first times I ever met a famous person, or the first times I ever met famous people, I couldn't believe I was seeing them in real life.
00:13:55.000 One of the first guys I'd ever met, I was in Harvard Square in Cambridge.
00:13:58.000 I don't even remember the dude's name, but he had been in a bunch of television dramas.
00:14:03.000 That's funny.
00:14:03.000 And I was like, you're that guy from that show!
00:14:05.000 And he'd tell me what the show...
00:14:07.000 He's asking a question.
00:14:08.000 He wanted to know where the T-stop was, where he could catch public transportation.
00:14:12.000 So he approached you.
00:14:13.000 No, he just...
00:14:14.000 He asked a question.
00:14:16.000 I don't know if I asked him if he was that guy first or if he asked me, but he didn't give a fuck.
00:14:22.000 He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm that guy from that show.
00:14:23.000 Did you guys know where this thing is?
00:14:25.000 And we told them where it was, and we're like, whoa, we just saw that guy!
00:14:28.000 I still to this day don't remember who the fuck he was.
00:14:32.000 That's funny.
00:14:33.000 And when I was little, my uncle used to work for Howard Marks Advertising.
00:14:38.000 My uncle Vinny is an artist, and he worked for the company that drew the album covers for KISS. So when I was like, boy, I guess I was like eight or nine years old maybe, I don't know how, somewhere in that age, I met Ace Frehley,
00:14:54.000 who was the lead guitarist to Kiss, and he always wore makeup, and I met him with no makeup on.
00:15:01.000 And he would come by, and it was a great hustle they had.
00:15:06.000 They wore makeup when they were on stage, but then offstage, no one knew who the fuck they were.
00:15:11.000 Yeah.
00:15:11.000 So they were huge superstars selling out arenas, rock stars, but they were just completely incognito.
00:15:19.000 So this guy just walks into the office, and my uncle knew him because they were friends, and he's like, oh, hey, what's up?
00:15:26.000 How you doing?
00:15:26.000 And I was so confused.
00:15:28.000 I was like, is that...
00:15:30.000 Is that what he looks like?
00:15:31.000 Because you couldn't even see them.
00:15:34.000 This was obviously pre-internet, but there was no photos of them available without their makeup.
00:15:39.000 There was maybe one photo with a hand in front of them or something like that, where you really couldn't see clearly.
00:15:45.000 But to see them in the flesh, moving around and walking and talking, I was like, what the fuck?
00:15:51.000 Yeah, they had it from the beginning.
00:16:02.000 Yeah.
00:16:07.000 You know, we don't want to be recognized at the Whole Foods.
00:16:10.000 Did they see that shit coming?
00:16:12.000 They saw Whole Foods coming.
00:16:14.000 Trader Joe's.
00:16:15.000 It's all out there.
00:16:17.000 I don't think so.
00:16:19.000 I think there was a style of, I think they used to call it glam rock.
00:16:22.000 Is that what they used to call it?
00:16:24.000 David Bowie and all that.
00:16:25.000 Yeah.
00:16:25.000 I mean, I think that's what it's called, but I think it was just a hook.
00:16:30.000 I think their hook was that they were going to wear face paint, you know, and have these designs in their face.
00:16:35.000 Like, Paul Stanley was the star child, so he had a star over his face.
00:16:38.000 And Gene Simmons was the demon who used to spit blood and blow fire on stage.
00:16:43.000 And they had, you know, Peter Criss was the cat, and Ace Frehley was...
00:16:47.000 You know, he was like the Spaceman, and they had this persona that they had adopted, like these characters, and no one knew what they were, and all their names were fake too, I'm pretty sure.
00:16:59.000 So, like, who they were when they were on stage, and it was sort of taken even further into Fantasyland by this makeup and these crazy costumes that they wore, like they wore boots, like Gene Simmons' boots had teeth on the bottom of them, like these...
00:17:15.000 It's just all so nutty.
00:17:16.000 So bringing it back to your buddy, imagine, you know, your kiss and you're trying to pick up a woman in a bar and you're like, you know, I'm Gene Simmons.
00:17:24.000 Get the fuck out of here.
00:17:25.000 You probably work at Merrill fucking Lynch.
00:17:29.000 I think...
00:17:30.000 They probably had so many girls coming up to them, they never went to a bar and tried to meet people.
00:17:35.000 They never went.
00:17:36.000 Yeah.
00:17:37.000 I mean, they were probably just trying to think, how many can I fuck in a day?
00:17:42.000 And how many do I have to say no to?
00:17:44.000 Yeah.
00:17:44.000 Because it's just not going to work out.
00:17:46.000 Well, you've got people to do that for you, right?
00:17:48.000 Probably.
00:17:48.000 Yeah, they probably had like...
00:17:50.000 Handlers.
00:17:51.000 Handlers.
00:17:52.000 Wranglers.
00:17:52.000 I heard an interview the other day with, I forget his name, but he's one of the main guys of Iron Maiden, which is a band I don't know, but I know they're huge.
00:18:04.000 And he's a jet pilot.
00:18:06.000 And he flew commercial airlines for years.
00:18:09.000 So he was like, you know, nobody knew it was me up there, you know?
00:18:13.000 And I'd just be, you know, flying, you know, London to New York or whatever.
00:18:17.000 Like, this is your pilot.
00:18:18.000 We're reaching out to cruising out today.
00:18:20.000 How bizarre.
00:18:20.000 And then he'd go, like, play a gig in New York.
00:18:22.000 Yeah.
00:18:23.000 So he would fly as a commercial air pilot and then do a gig.
00:18:26.000 Right.
00:18:27.000 And then they bought a jet, you know, 747 or something, to fly the band around.
00:18:31.000 So now he flies the band to gigs.
00:18:35.000 How fucking strange.
00:18:37.000 Didn't John Travolta fly commercially for Qantas?
00:18:40.000 That rings a bell.
00:18:42.000 Yeah, I know he's an accomplished pilot.
00:18:44.000 I'm pretty sure he did.
00:18:45.000 A friend of mine went flying with Tom Cruise.
00:18:48.000 He's got like one of those biplanes, a stunt plane.
00:18:52.000 Wow.
00:18:53.000 And it was like loop-de-loop.
00:18:54.000 And she said, man, I almost puked on him.
00:18:56.000 Because she was in front, you know, the pilot's in back.
00:18:58.000 And she was like, I was this close to Ralph and all over Tom Cruise.
00:19:02.000 So the pilot goes in back and the passenger is in front.
00:19:05.000 Right.
00:19:05.000 How strange.
00:19:06.000 Yeah.
00:19:07.000 Those old planes, man, when you see what it is, this wire frame with this very thin coating outside of it.
00:19:18.000 So the cables going out to the flaps and stuff.
00:19:21.000 Yeah.
00:19:22.000 And they used to have to manipulate the flaps with handles in order to make it go up and down and move the rudder.
00:19:28.000 Oh, gosh.
00:19:30.000 And they fought with those things.
00:19:32.000 You remember the old King Kong?
00:19:34.000 King Kong 1 with King Kong on top of the World Trade Center.
00:19:38.000 No, it wasn't World Trade Center.
00:19:39.000 It was the Empire State Building back then.
00:19:40.000 King Kong lied about that.
00:19:41.000 Fucking liar.
00:19:43.000 He's climbing up the Empire State Building and they're shooting at him with those planes.
00:19:47.000 Those old rickety World War I planes.
00:19:50.000 It's pre-World War II. Yeah.
00:19:52.000 Because King Kong, I believe, was the 30s.
00:19:54.000 The original King Kong.
00:19:55.000 It's early.
00:19:56.000 I want to say like 33 or something like that.
00:19:58.000 It was a talkie, right?
00:19:59.000 Yeah, it was a talking.
00:20:01.000 Early talkies.
00:20:01.000 We went over that yesterday, that the first movies were actually the 1800s for silent movies.
00:20:08.000 It was the late 1800s.
00:20:10.000 With the horses, the first one to show that all the horses' feet came off the ground at once.
00:20:15.000 No.
00:20:16.000 You know that story?
00:20:17.000 Yeah.
00:20:17.000 I think that was the first motion picture.
00:20:20.000 Really?
00:20:20.000 A French guy.
00:20:21.000 Yeah, there was a bet.
00:20:23.000 It's a long time since I may be full of shit here, but I'm sure people are Googling it even as we speak.
00:20:28.000 But there was, I think it was the first motion picture was that they were trying to determine whether all of a horse's feet came off the ground at once.
00:20:38.000 So he set up, I don't know if it was like a bunch of cameras in a bank that sequentially shot.
00:20:43.000 Well, they have a video of it.
00:20:45.000 Oh, here we go.
00:20:46.000 1889. There you go.
00:20:49.000 Yeah, in the second frame you can see all the horses' feet are off the ground.
00:20:54.000 What was the first movie ever made?
00:20:57.000 The first movie, Thomas Edison in 1889. Oh really?
00:21:02.000 Thomas Edison?
00:21:03.000 Yeah, that's what this is saying.
00:21:05.000 It's too bad he was such a prick.
00:21:07.000 Apparently he was, right?
00:21:09.000 He stole Tesla's ideas?
00:21:11.000 Yeah.
00:21:12.000 It's hard to tell though.
00:21:13.000 That could be like one big he said, she said thing, but obviously Tesla was a super genius and Edison electrocuted a fucking elephant.
00:21:22.000 For fun.
00:21:23.000 To show.
00:21:24.000 To scare people.
00:21:25.000 Yeah.
00:21:26.000 Against DC. Which is hilarious.
00:21:28.000 Yeah.
00:21:28.000 Well, against ACDC. Against alternating current.
00:21:31.000 Like, DC was what was the standard.
00:21:33.000 Right.
00:21:34.000 And ACDC alternating current was what Tesla had invented so that you could plug in all sorts of different devices that need less power.
00:21:42.000 Oh.
00:21:43.000 But then Edison already had a business thing going.
00:21:45.000 Yes, yes.
00:21:46.000 And didn't want...
00:21:47.000 And even though Tesla's idea was better.
00:21:49.000 Right?
00:21:50.000 Yes.
00:21:50.000 More efficient.
00:21:51.000 Yeah.
00:21:51.000 Well, Tesla was a weird, weird, weird guy, man.
00:21:55.000 But you kind of have to be to be that fucking smart and figure out that many different things.
00:22:01.000 So that brings us back a little bit to what we were talking about before with the persona.
00:22:07.000 I've got this idea that most of the people who rise to positions of prominence in Western society are troubled in some way.
00:22:19.000 So, like, you know, you're talking about geniuses.
00:22:22.000 Like, you have to be...
00:22:24.000 A genius is a certain kind of distortion, right?
00:22:28.000 Right.
00:22:28.000 I think Einstein said that a smart man controls his mind, a genius is controlled by it.
00:22:35.000 Right?
00:22:36.000 So there's an obsessive quality to it.
00:22:39.000 Right.
00:22:39.000 And I wonder if, you know, the extent to which our, you know, this is this whole book that I'm writing, it seems that if you say the underlying structure of civilization is essentially pathological, then it makes sense that the leaders, the people who rise to prominent positions within that society,
00:22:57.000 will predominantly be pathological.
00:23:02.000 Is that necessarily true?
00:23:04.000 Is Zuckerberg a guy who creates something like Facebook?
00:23:07.000 Is that guy pathological?
00:23:09.000 Well, I would look at him and say, I don't know the guy, of course.
00:23:13.000 I saw the movie.
00:23:15.000 That's as close as I got to him.
00:23:16.000 But does he seem like a balanced, healthy character?
00:23:22.000 Mm-hmm.
00:23:23.000 To me, you know, it seems like a lot of what's created is created by sexually frustrated adolescent men or boys.
00:23:33.000 Right.
00:23:33.000 And he would probably fit into that area, you know?
00:23:36.000 Right.
00:23:36.000 I mean, wasn't the whole thing like a dating, a way to meet chicks at Harvard?
00:23:41.000 Wasn't that the origins of it?
00:23:43.000 I think it was a dating thing.
00:23:45.000 I don't really know.
00:23:45.000 I don't remember.
00:23:46.000 It was in the movie.
00:23:46.000 Makes sense, though.
00:23:48.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:23:49.000 So, anyway, I mean, Freud talked about this in Civilization and its Discontents, that, you know, civilization is built on deflected sexual energy, and if we were all just getting laid as much as we wanted, nobody would do anything.
00:24:00.000 That's a good point, and also, if you really concentrate on what is healthy, in quotes, what's healthy is friendship and fun.
00:24:09.000 None of those really stack up points, you know, as far as, like, monetary, you know...
00:24:16.000 What you can put in your bank account, what you can show as far as your real estate holdings.
00:24:23.000 Look at my fancy stuff.
00:24:26.000 That's really what people look to when they look for the gauge of success.
00:24:30.000 The gauge of success is almost always attached to money.
00:24:33.000 Right.
00:24:33.000 And that's it.
00:24:34.000 And if you get to the point where you see through money or fame or power these metrics that are socially accepted, Then you become, you know, what?
00:24:46.000 The Jesus figure, the Buddha, the, you know, you sort of check out, tune in, turn on, drop out, right?
00:24:52.000 Yeah, and then you're a loser.
00:24:54.000 You're a loser, exactly.
00:24:55.000 And you're not influencing the direction of society, yeah.
00:25:00.000 Yeah, it's weird, like, it's weird about our ideas.
00:25:03.000 Like, knowing the temporary nature of life, it's weird that our idea of success is based almost entirely on the possession of things.
00:25:13.000 Yeah.
00:25:14.000 And that, of course, feeds into the powers that be, right?
00:25:18.000 The consumerist change, the change nature into plastic, you know, which seems to be what we're about.
00:25:24.000 I have a weird theory about this that I've repeated before.
00:25:27.000 So in the interest of saving the...
00:25:30.000 Attention span of the people that listen.
00:25:32.000 I think that the reason why people are hooked on materialism, the reason why it's so attractive, is because ultimately what it's doing is propelling technology and innovation.
00:25:42.000 And that the more we become obsessed with acquiring the newest, latest, greatest things, the more it will push innovation, these newest, latest, greatest things.
00:25:51.000 And the reason for that is we're ultimately creating an artificial life.
00:25:55.000 And I think that we are the technological caterpillar that becomes some artificial intelligent butterfly.
00:26:01.000 And that what we're doing is creating a new life form.
00:26:04.000 We're so arrogant that we think that we're the only life, and this is the only life that's possible.
00:26:12.000 But meanwhile, what we're doing is we have been born into these inefficient, these biological entities.
00:26:22.000 These shells that house our imagination and that we eventually will escape them or create something that makes us obsolete.
00:26:30.000 More likely the latter.
00:26:32.000 Yeah, I'm grappling with these very issues right now at the end of this book, right?
00:26:37.000 Oh, yeah?
00:26:38.000 Yeah.
00:26:38.000 Have you ever read Kevin Kelly or heard of him?
00:26:41.000 No.
00:26:41.000 He's a very deep thinker in artificial intelligence and the internet and all that kind of stuff.
00:26:49.000 Very interesting guy.
00:26:50.000 And systems, like how systems self-organize and like...
00:26:58.000 They take high-speed film of flocks of birds, and they see that the individual birds are reacting to other birds.
00:27:09.000 The flock is reacting quicker than individual birds can react.
00:27:14.000 There's what they call phase change.
00:27:18.000 Where you shift from a group of birds to a flock of birds, or a bunch of fish to a school of fish, where everything starts functioning very differently.
00:27:27.000 For example, did you know that Locusts and grasshoppers are the same animal?
00:27:34.000 Yeah, it did.
00:27:35.000 Completely crazy.
00:27:36.000 Yeah, it's just a matter of the swarm of them.
00:27:39.000 Well, yeah, when it rains, and so then there's a lot of food, they reproduce really quickly.
00:27:46.000 So now you've got the population density, and then the food starts to dissipate because the water is going, and now they get Very tight population density, and they become locusts, which their brains change, their legs change, the coloring changes, their behavior changes,
00:28:02.000 and they start swarming.
00:28:04.000 So with less food, they swarm?
00:28:06.000 Yeah.
00:28:06.000 Well, the food is restricted, so they get into, you know, like an oasis or something.
00:28:12.000 So they get into smaller areas because the water from the—first it rains, so you get lots of them.
00:28:19.000 Then the water starts to disappear, right?
00:28:22.000 It evaporates over a few days or whatever, and the food is less and less.
00:28:27.000 So they're concentrated.
00:28:28.000 And it's when they're packed tightly that they shift into locusts.
00:28:33.000 And that's when they swarm and they go out, you know, and wipe out anything they can find.
00:28:36.000 But then they can shift back to grasshoppers again.
00:28:40.000 So I'm sort of arguing in this book that civilization is when our species shifted to locus, a phase shift into a locus form, and we swarmed, and we've been swarming ever since, but we're about to run out of material.
00:28:56.000 And, you know, like the fish stocks are down, the water's gone, like everything's, we're in the age of no more, you know?
00:29:03.000 It's hard to argue.
00:29:04.000 You know, I was watching this documentary the other day about the 1970s, when they were talking about the 1970s, there was 100 million less people in America.
00:29:12.000 In America.
00:29:14.000 In America.
00:29:14.000 And like the world population was...
00:29:16.000 Billions less.
00:29:17.000 But that's stunning.
00:29:18.000 A hundred million...
00:29:20.000 I mean, think about if a hundred million people died today in America.
00:29:22.000 It would be a fucking enormous tragedy of epic proportion.
00:29:26.000 But that was just the numbers.
00:29:29.000 A few decades ago, four decades ago, whatever it was.
00:29:32.000 Pick a number.
00:29:35.000 That's fucking crazy.
00:29:36.000 That's crazy.
00:29:38.000 100 million people is a lot to gather inside of 50 years.
00:29:44.000 That's really remarkable.
00:29:47.000 Yeah, and we're still talking as if growth is the natural and, you know, it's the only way to be, right?
00:29:56.000 We need growth.
00:29:56.000 We need growth.
00:29:57.000 They're worried that reproduction levels are below zero in Japan and Spain and some other countries.
00:30:05.000 Why are we worried?
00:30:06.000 That's great.
00:30:06.000 I mean, short term, it's a problem, because you don't have enough young people to work and pay for the old people, whatever.
00:30:12.000 But long term, imagine how great the fucking Earth would be if there were one billion people on Earth.
00:30:18.000 You know, that was something that came to McKenna in a mushroom trip.
00:30:23.000 He asked the mushroom how to save the human race, and they said every couple reproduce only with one child, and the human race will be saved.
00:30:33.000 That's it.
00:30:34.000 That's all we'd have to do.
00:30:36.000 Significantly lower population with mortality and accidents and natural causes and all the other jazz.
00:30:42.000 Take control.
00:30:43.000 Actually, this is going to be historic.
00:30:45.000 I am a little...
00:30:46.000 I'm at the end of the book, right?
00:30:49.000 Where the publisher requires a prescriptive, like, what's next?
00:30:53.000 You know, what do we do with all this kind of chapter?
00:30:55.000 Which I hate doing, but I'm doing it.
00:30:57.000 So you have to, like, have a solution?
00:31:00.000 Takeaway.
00:31:01.000 Their phrase that they love is, what's the takeaway?
00:31:04.000 Takeaway.
00:31:04.000 Gotta have a takeaway.
00:31:07.000 Have to have a final act, Mr. Ryan.
00:31:10.000 Yeah.
00:31:11.000 The gun's been on the mantelpiece through the whole play.
00:31:14.000 Somebody's got to get shot.
00:31:15.000 You can't end the movie like No Country for Old Men.
00:31:17.000 Right.
00:31:18.000 You just can't just...
00:31:18.000 The guy just wanders off and like, what the fuck?
00:31:21.000 Where's the resolution?
00:31:23.000 But, you know, I've been reading Kevin Kelly, reading other stuff, and I've come around—you and Duncan and I have always had this sort of three-way debate about the future of humanity and all that.
00:31:33.000 And I see three scenarios, one of which is the one you just outlined, where we are a transitional life form that gives birth to techno-intelligence and spreads out into the universe and whatever.
00:31:50.000 And another is sort of apocalyptic collapse and Mad Men, not Mad Men, Mad Max.
00:31:59.000 They'll become advertising executives in the 60s.
00:32:01.000 Completely different outfits.
00:32:03.000 Thin lapels, a lot of smoking.
00:32:07.000 But the other one, which I'm actually, you know, if I were a betting man, I probably wouldn't put my money on this, but I'm...
00:32:15.000 I'm encouraged to think about it.
00:32:17.000 I read a book recently called Future Perfect.
00:32:20.000 I don't remember the author.
00:32:22.000 Steven Johnson is the author.
00:32:24.000 Another internet tech web guy, right?
00:32:27.000 And he makes a really strong case, which I've heard you make.
00:32:31.000 You've made it to me, actually, that the internet is, first of all, it's very, very early days for the internet.
00:32:38.000 And it opens up There's revolutionary possibilities, like, beyond anything that's happened to our species in the past.
00:32:47.000 The fact that you and I right now are talking to hundreds of thousands of people with no sponsor telling us, don't say that, don't say this, that we can talk shit about Monsanto, we can talk shit about the U.S. government, we can do whatever we want.
00:33:02.000 That is really revolutionary.
00:33:04.000 And the effects of that are impossible for us to really predict.
00:33:09.000 And it's international, right?
00:33:12.000 It doesn't respect national borders, anyone, anywhere.
00:33:15.000 It's archived.
00:33:16.000 You know, it functions vertically and horizontally.
00:33:20.000 That's really something.
00:33:21.000 And one of the examples he uses in his book is Kickstarter.
00:33:26.000 In two years after they launched, Kickstarter was already spending more supporting artists than the National Endowment for the Arts.
00:33:36.000 Wow.
00:33:37.000 In two years.
00:33:38.000 And now it's like three times that.
00:33:40.000 That's amazing, right?
00:33:42.000 Who would have thought that there were so many people who were like, I'll give 20 bucks to that guy.
00:33:46.000 I'll support that.
00:33:48.000 And, you know, just with this technology, you're able to do stuff.
00:33:52.000 I was reading about this tribe in the Amazon the other day who are...
00:33:57.000 Basically have taken over defense of their land because the government's useless and so they've got legally they're completely justified but the loggers keep coming in and you know invading.
00:34:07.000 So they've set up like GPS units all around and motion controlled cameras and they're using technology to try to defend their land and document incursions and stuff.
00:34:20.000 And I was thinking like wouldn't it be cool to set up crowd-funded Where you could send 20 bucks to this tribe in the Amazon to help them buy a fucking motion-detected camera or a drone.
00:34:33.000 Why not, right?
00:34:34.000 Like, you know about Kiva?
00:34:35.000 No.
00:34:36.000 Kiva is microloans, and it's just a website like Kickstarter where you go in Kiva, you put 100 bucks in.
00:34:45.000 And they've got all these people who have applied for loans.
00:34:49.000 You pick a country, El Salvador.
00:34:51.000 Okay, you go through, you look at all their pictures and like, okay, I need 150 bucks to buy a goat because I make goat yogurt and sell it in the village.
00:35:00.000 Okay, you give her 25 bucks.
00:35:02.000 She pays it back.
00:35:03.000 Their repayment rate is over 99% because they've got people in country who verify that everything's cool and this is a real thing and whatever.
00:35:13.000 So, then the money gets paid back to your account after they get their goat and they sell enough yogurt.
00:35:18.000 And then you can either take your money out or you can recycle it.
00:35:23.000 Like, go to Uganda and let's find somebody in Uganda.
00:35:25.000 We can help them put a new roof on the shop, right?
00:35:28.000 Wow.
00:35:28.000 And it's completely you to them.
00:35:31.000 And the company just, you know, it's like Tinder or anything else.
00:35:36.000 It's just a way to connect.
00:35:38.000 Mm-hmm.
00:35:39.000 Really cool, you know?
00:35:40.000 And it's your money, and if you don't want to do it anymore, you take your money and you're out.
00:35:44.000 Yeah, these, like, sort of non-capitalistic ideas are one of the most beautiful things about the internet.
00:35:50.000 Like, these sort of organically created ideas, like Kickstarter, crowdfunding.
00:35:56.000 Couchsurfing.
00:35:57.000 Yeah.
00:35:57.000 You know?
00:35:58.000 Like, all the sharing economy.
00:36:00.000 He calls it, his term is, pure progressives.
00:36:03.000 And so then, like, what's going to happen if We can get the oligarchs out of the way and make internet direct voting.
00:36:13.000 That's the ultimate future, right?
00:36:15.000 Internet direct voting, where it's no longer an electoral college.
00:36:19.000 We don't look at things in terms of states, but we look in terms of the mass of the race or the mass of the human organism.
00:36:26.000 What benefits?
00:36:28.000 That's it.
00:36:28.000 The problem is there's been people that have been candy-fed, they've been baby-fed for so long that it's almost like they're...
00:36:36.000 It's like taking a person who's been in solitary confinement, locked up like a veal, and then forcing them to run an ultramarathon.
00:36:43.000 It's like, you're not prepared for this.
00:36:46.000 You're not conditioned for it.
00:36:48.000 You don't have the resources to pull off an informed version of the future, you know?
00:36:56.000 Yeah, but...
00:36:57.000 You know, and again, it's really weird that I'm arguing the hopeful side here, but hey, what the fuck?
00:37:04.000 We said this was going to be a bullshit podcast, right?
00:37:06.000 We're lying.
00:37:07.000 We're lying.
00:37:08.000 We're fucked.
00:37:09.000 I don't believe any of this.
00:37:11.000 The one thing I would say about human nature, because I get asked a lot, what's human nature, you know?
00:37:16.000 I think...
00:37:17.000 The strongest thing I can say about human nature is humans want to do what everyone else is doing.
00:37:24.000 That's what we're really good at.
00:37:25.000 We're not good at thinking it through, but like, oh, everyone else is killing Jews?
00:37:29.000 Well, I guess I'll kill some Jews then.
00:37:30.000 You know, like everyone else hates black people, then I hate black people.
00:37:34.000 Gay marriage is cool?
00:37:36.000 Okay, gay marriage is cool.
00:37:37.000 Like, look how fast that changed.
00:37:39.000 Yeah, I was going to bring that up when you were talking about the birds.
00:37:43.000 Like, the birds moving in a flock in a way where they're moving in such harmony that they couldn't possibly be reacting to each other.
00:37:51.000 Is that what happens with mob mentality?
00:37:53.000 I guess so, yeah.
00:37:54.000 And I think, you know, in humans it's mob mentality, it's fan, like that hysteria.
00:38:01.000 Like the Beatles.
00:38:02.000 The Beatles, that's what I was thinking.
00:38:03.000 Yeah, like just insanity, right?
00:38:06.000 Yeah, I mean, there is, you know, greater than the sum of its parts, right?
00:38:11.000 That phenomenon.
00:38:12.000 Like, there's no, you know, I mean, geese are a different thing, but most flocks of birds, you know, the starlings you see doing that thing at night, there's no leader.
00:38:21.000 Yeah.
00:38:21.000 Right?
00:38:22.000 There's nobody saying, hey, let's go to the left now.
00:38:24.000 There's no choreography.
00:38:25.000 It mimics in fish as well, right?
00:38:27.000 Sure.
00:38:28.000 Fish in swarms of locusts.
00:38:30.000 And in fact, in one of these books by Kevin Kelly, he talks about how they were doing the artificial, the guys who did the Batman, one of the Batman movies, and they were doing the special effects.
00:38:44.000 And I guess they were...
00:38:46.000 There were flocks of bats that they needed to replicate on screen and they just set up a logarithm where each bat would react to the other bats near it according to certain variables,
00:39:03.000 calculations, and then they just set it loose and it formed a flock.
00:39:10.000 So it's like it doesn't even have to be alive.
00:39:12.000 It just has to have certain consistent responses.
00:39:18.000 Wow.
00:39:19.000 Yeah.
00:39:19.000 So what the fuck are we talking about?
00:39:21.000 Well, we're talking about human beings moving in a mob mentality.
00:39:26.000 Do you think that we're a...
00:39:27.000 I think...
00:39:29.000 I think the evidence is that we're a superorganism more than we're an individual.
00:39:34.000 Yeah.
00:39:35.000 Well, see, what I did in the book, and, you know, I hope this is making people want to read it when it comes out, not like, yeah, I already heard all this shit.
00:39:42.000 But, you know, what I did was I started by saying...
00:39:46.000 Your individuality is itself an illusion.
00:39:49.000 Because 90% of your weight, once you get the water out, is made of...
00:39:58.000 No, no, not your weight.
00:39:59.000 90% of your DNA, of the DNA that constitutes your body, is not your DNA. It's the DNA of microorganisms.
00:40:07.000 That live on and in you, right?
00:40:10.000 Right.
00:40:10.000 So I got into the whole...
00:40:11.000 The whole...
00:40:13.000 Ecosystem.
00:40:14.000 Intestinal fauna and all that.
00:40:17.000 Yeah, and it's...
00:40:18.000 So you couldn't exist without that.
00:40:19.000 So each of us is a community, right?
00:40:22.000 Yeah.
00:40:23.000 And then you go to the higher level and it's just the same thing.
00:40:27.000 Each of us constitutes an organism as well.
00:40:31.000 We're part of this thing that...
00:40:33.000 We can't really see because, you know, we're part of it.
00:40:37.000 It's like fish don't think about water, you know?
00:40:41.000 Right.
00:40:41.000 It's not considered because we always like to think of ourselves as individuals, but the evidence is there that we get insanely lonely when we're by ourselves.
00:40:48.000 Oh, yeah.
00:40:50.000 Solitary confinement.
00:40:50.000 It's the worst thing you can do to someone in jail.
00:40:53.000 I mean, it's really crazy.
00:40:54.000 And if you think about human beings being isolated and being lonely and then the incredible joy that they have when they find civilization or people, like someone alone on a raft, they're not thinking about, well, I'm alive at least.
00:41:08.000 Let me just think about my life.
00:41:09.000 No, they're like, fuck, I've got to find people.
00:41:12.000 I have to find people.
00:41:13.000 Like, even if you have all the food in the world, if you're floating around on a boat lost at sea, you're incredibly sad.
00:41:20.000 Like, we have this insane, intense need for each other to be united, bonded with each other.
00:41:26.000 And if we're not, we're fucked.
00:41:29.000 Yeah.
00:41:29.000 We're some strange sort of super organism.
00:41:33.000 I made a video when I had my 2005 Showtime special, and I did this video about flying over the earth.
00:41:44.000 And then if you fly into Los Angeles, And if you look at the Earth as a host for life, and, you know, our bodies, you could certainly say that our bodies are a host for life.
00:41:55.000 Because of all the organisms that we just talked about, the fact there's more E. coli in your body than there are people that have ever lived ever.
00:42:03.000 I mean, it's amazing.
00:42:05.000 And all that stuff is important for life.
00:42:07.000 But when you fly into Los Angeles and you're flying over that just gigantic mass of cities, like, if the Earth is an organism, well, what are people?
00:42:17.000 It looks like a growth.
00:42:19.000 Like, Los Angeles looks like a growth.
00:42:21.000 It looks like a growth on the superorganism, like mold on a sandwich.
00:42:25.000 And if you saw mold on a sandwich, you don't think of individual pieces of mold with individual identities and personalities.
00:42:32.000 You just see mold.
00:42:33.000 And I think the same thing could be said about human beings.
00:42:38.000 That we're just so close to it, we can't see the forest for the trees.
00:42:42.000 That we don't see ourselves objectively.
00:42:45.000 We don't go, Oh, we're one thing.
00:42:47.000 We're one big thing that's making technology.
00:42:50.000 I mean, that's essentially what we are.
00:42:53.000 We're one big thing that's willing to sacrifice the very fucking air, the very air that we need to stay alive.
00:42:59.000 We're willing to blacken that shit up in order to produce industrial goods.
00:43:06.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:43:08.000 It's interesting.
00:43:09.000 I hope that's not the way it's going, but it feels that way.
00:43:12.000 That's the trajectory we're on at the moment.
00:43:14.000 What I'm hoping is that the internet...
00:43:17.000 I mean, I look at the gay marriage thing, and a lot of the stuff is ugly that happens on the internet.
00:43:23.000 But the idea that there is, for the first time ever, the potential for a species mind...
00:43:31.000 A species-level mind, what's the first thing any conscious mind becomes aware of?
00:43:38.000 Its own mortality.
00:43:39.000 So maybe, maybe what's happening is as these synapses are connected for the first time ever and there's this super mind for a super organism, it becomes aware of what it's doing and suddenly it's like...
00:43:56.000 Fuck!
00:43:57.000 Stop this.
00:43:57.000 This is crazy.
00:43:59.000 This is crazy.
00:44:00.000 We're killing ourselves.
00:44:01.000 If we can understand that at a species level, then we can change it, right?
00:44:06.000 I mean, the passive technology's there.
00:44:09.000 We all know how to, you know, anal sex is better.
00:44:12.000 You know, let's make anal sex the way to, you know, no more reproduction.
00:44:16.000 Just, let's all go.
00:44:18.000 I'm not going to talk about it.
00:44:20.000 You just went on a fucking crazy tangent.
00:44:22.000 But no, I know what you're saying.
00:44:25.000 I think the idea...
00:44:29.000 Non-reproductive sex.
00:44:30.000 Yes.
00:44:31.000 Sodomy is where it's at.
00:44:32.000 Sodomy is where it's at.
00:44:34.000 Be a good t-shirt.
00:44:35.000 There's a lot of protein in cum, too.
00:44:37.000 You don't necessarily have to eat chickens.
00:44:40.000 By the way, I saw your Ronda Rousey interview.
00:44:43.000 Yeah.
00:44:43.000 And you were really funny.
00:44:45.000 You said, what is it with lipstick?
00:44:47.000 It's like, right here, this is where the dick goes.
00:44:49.000 Right.
00:44:50.000 And I was thinking, that is why and how lipstick was invented.
00:44:55.000 Egyptian hookers.
00:44:56.000 You know that?
00:44:56.000 It was hookers?
00:44:57.000 Yeah, it was Egyptian hookers to advertise that they specialized in blowjobs.
00:45:01.000 Wow.
00:45:02.000 So if you saw a hooker with the red lips, it's like, she's the blowjob specialist.
00:45:07.000 Wow!
00:45:07.000 Yeah.
00:45:08.000 How do we know that?
00:45:09.000 Was that written somewhere?
00:45:10.000 Probably.
00:45:10.000 Syroglyphics?
00:45:11.000 You know, I trust that I read it in The History of Sex by somebody or other.
00:45:15.000 We lost so much of what Egypt was all about when they burned the Library of Alexandria.
00:45:20.000 Ah, huge loss.
00:45:21.000 It's incredible, because if you see what they were able to accomplish, so much of what Yeah.
00:45:44.000 All they have, literally, they have the Rosetta Stone, and they have the hieroglyphs, and they have the architecture, and then they have to try to back-engineer and decipher.
00:45:54.000 To this day, there's a dozen different theories about how they built the pyramids.
00:45:59.000 They really just guesswork.
00:46:01.000 And it's not aliens?
00:46:01.000 I thought it was aliens.
00:46:02.000 I don't think that's true.
00:46:04.000 I don't either.
00:46:05.000 I think it's much more likely the advanced civilization rise and decline is much more likely.
00:46:11.000 And as we're learning more about geologic catastrophes, as we're learning more about asteroidal impacts and things along those lines, it's way more likely that what you're looking at when you're looking at a lot of the ancient structures that exist that we can't totally explain was that something happened.
00:46:31.000 Civilization had reached a very high level and then probably were hit by giant rocks from space, and very few people survived.
00:46:38.000 But the people that did survive sort of re-figured out all the things over a course of a few thousand years, just like we have.
00:46:45.000 I mean, you go back a thousand years ago.
00:46:48.000 Okay, let's just go a thousand years ago.
00:46:50.000 Go back to 1,015.
00:46:53.000 People are apes.
00:46:54.000 I mean, you're talking about like Genghis Khan, they're riding horses, no one's got a car, they're shooting arrows at each other, no one's got guns.
00:47:02.000 I mean, you're talking about craziness.
00:47:04.000 You're talking about a crazy part of the world.
00:47:06.000 They have catapults and shit.
00:47:07.000 That was what the world was just a thousand years ago.
00:47:11.000 So in a thousand years, we've gone from Genghis Khan to Elon Musk making Teslas.
00:47:19.000 That's great.
00:47:20.000 Genghis Khan to Elon Musk.
00:47:22.000 A thousand years.
00:47:22.000 That works.
00:47:23.000 I mean, essentially a thousand years.
00:47:24.000 So imagine what we're talking about when, like, I've had Randall Carlson on my podcast, who is a fascinating guy who is absolutely obsessed with asteroidal impacts, and he studied them his entire life.
00:47:36.000 And as time has gone on, more and more of his work has been vindicated.
00:47:40.000 Especially by core samples.
00:47:42.000 He believes that there's enough proof that the Ice Age ended because of astral impacts.
00:47:49.000 And he had thought this way before they had figured out this stuff called, I think it's called Tritonite.
00:47:54.000 They found evidence of what they call nuclear glass all throughout Europe and Asia, and it all is around 12,000 years ago.
00:48:03.000 It's all around the same time the Ice Age ended.
00:48:06.000 And he thinks it was the catalyst for the end of the Ice Age and probably wiped out a gigantic chunk of humanity.
00:48:13.000 That there was just massive asteroid impacts all over the planet.
00:48:17.000 And that it just fucking killed almost everybody, or a huge percentage.
00:48:21.000 And everybody who's left Sort of how to re-figure out how to make buildings, re-figure out how to engineer society, and then they were left with the skeletons, the architectural skeletons of the past.
00:48:32.000 You know, they would look at Stonehenge or look at, you know, Gobekli Tepe or any of these giant ancient structures and go, okay, what the fuck was, what's this all about?
00:48:41.000 Who did this?
00:48:41.000 How'd they do this?
00:48:42.000 And they would try to mimic it or create their own.
00:48:45.000 And that what you're looking at when you look at many of these ancient structures is just whatever would be left When a giant chunk of civilization is wiped out, people have to start all over again.
00:48:57.000 Yeah.
00:48:57.000 You ever read a book called The World Without Us?
00:49:00.000 I've heard of it.
00:49:00.000 I didn't read it.
00:49:01.000 It's a good book.
00:49:02.000 It's basically taking that same thought pattern and applying it to now.
00:49:06.000 So what would happen if people all disappeared right now?
00:49:10.000 And so he talked to engineers in New York, for example.
00:49:13.000 So what would happen?
00:49:15.000 Right now, there are no people.
00:49:16.000 What would happen?
00:49:17.000 Well, the pumps would stop.
00:49:19.000 And there are all these pumps that keep water out of the substructure of Manhattan, right?
00:49:23.000 So then that fills up with water.
00:49:25.000 Okay, then how long does it take for the...
00:49:27.000 The anchors and the skyscrapers to rust away and corrode.
00:49:34.000 So the skyscrapers start falling.
00:49:36.000 And so he figures all that out.
00:49:37.000 What animals would go feral and survive versus...
00:49:41.000 Dogs are fucked.
00:49:41.000 All dogs would be eaten immediately.
00:49:44.000 Cats would survive, though.
00:49:46.000 Really?
00:49:46.000 Oh, yeah.
00:49:46.000 What about feral dogs?
00:49:48.000 There's populations of feral dogs that exist even in America today.
00:49:51.000 They killed some old couple outside of Georgia.
00:49:55.000 That makes sense.
00:49:57.000 Better predators.
00:49:58.000 Yeah, right.
00:49:58.000 Yeah, more adapted.
00:50:01.000 Pros.
00:50:01.000 The amateurs don't last.
00:50:03.000 Yeah.
00:50:04.000 I met a guy in Colorado that is a professional mountain lion hunter.
00:50:09.000 And they get hired oftentimes, like whether or not you knew it, California employs professional mountain lion killers.
00:50:18.000 Wow.
00:50:20.000 They don't have a hunting season on mountain lions in Colorado, or in California rather.
00:50:25.000 In Colorado they do, and so the wildlife organization, they measure the population, they calculate it, and they decide how many would be viable to take to keep the community of them healthy, but to protect the elk population and the deer population.
00:50:42.000 And so then they adjust accordingly and they release tags, and tags are what the hunters use to go out and legally kill these animals.
00:50:49.000 Well, California doesn't have that, so in California they have, I think he said, three different guys that kill an indeterminate amount of mountain lions, any troubled mountain lions they have all throughout California.
00:51:01.000 They just travel around and kill these fucking things.
00:51:04.000 Because if you don't, then they overpopulate and then they become a problem with dogs and people and joggers and shit like that.
00:51:13.000 But there's groups in California in particular, like extreme wildlife advocates, that want that.
00:51:20.000 They want no more hunting.
00:51:22.000 What they want to do is reintroduce wolves and grizzly bears to California.
00:51:26.000 So that those animals control all the game populations to a sufficient level.
00:51:31.000 Which is really, like, it's not very well thought out.
00:51:34.000 Because then no one controls their population except assassins.
00:51:38.000 They have to hire assassins to go out and kill the grizzly bears that start encroaching into civilization and the wolves that start moving in on people's livestock.
00:51:46.000 They have to hire people to kill them.
00:51:48.000 But it's this fascinating idea of animal management that these people are juggling back and forth with, between the people that are pro-hunting and then the people that are the conservationists or the wildlife advocates.
00:52:02.000 It's really fascinating stuff.
00:52:03.000 Yeah, you remind me of something I just read recently about the cobra effect, it's called.
00:52:08.000 It refers to the...
00:52:11.000 Unintended consequences of trying to control wild animals.
00:52:15.000 And it started when the British were in India.
00:52:18.000 In New Delhi, the local authorities decided to deal with the fact that there are all these cobras living in the sewers and causing a big problem.
00:52:27.000 So they instituted a price for each dead cobra that you would bring in.
00:52:32.000 They'd pay you a bounty, right?
00:52:34.000 So that worked really well.
00:52:36.000 They were getting rid of a lot of cobras.
00:52:37.000 Then people started breeding them.
00:52:38.000 To make money.
00:52:39.000 Exactly.
00:52:40.000 So suddenly there are all these cobras coming in and they realize they're being played.
00:52:44.000 So then they're like, fuck that, and they stop paying the bounty.
00:52:47.000 So now the breeders have thousands of cobras, you know, and so they just let them loose.
00:52:51.000 Oh, gee.
00:52:52.000 So you end up with a much bigger problem than you thought you were solving.
00:52:55.000 Well, Australia's done that too.
00:52:57.000 Australia didn't really have large mammals.
00:53:03.000 Or rather, New Zealand didn't really have large mammals.
00:53:07.000 But Australia introduced certain predators to try to deal with introduced animals, like rabbits.
00:53:14.000 Right.
00:53:14.000 Like, they introduced rabbits to Australia, but they didn't have natural predators, so they brought over foxes.
00:53:18.000 And then the foxes ate a shitload of rabbits and then got out of control and started eating ground-nesting birds and decimating the population of ground-nesting birds.
00:53:28.000 Right.
00:53:31.000 But they never did get a hold of the rabbit population.
00:53:34.000 They put up fences to try to stop the rabbits from moving into new areas.
00:53:38.000 But they weren't quick enough, and the rabbits got through the fences.
00:53:41.000 As they were building the fences, the rabbits fucked their way through to the other side of the fences and just fucked and made more and more rabbits.
00:53:48.000 So then they wanted to introduce the foxes over there.
00:53:50.000 Then they wanted to bring in predators to kill off the foxes.
00:53:54.000 Like, it's a clusterfuck of human beings trying to somehow or another manage nature.
00:53:59.000 And every time it gets away.
00:54:01.000 Yeah, through predators, especially things like a rabbit that can just breed like crazy in an environment where they really didn't have a natural enemy.
00:54:10.000 There's a great documentary called Cane Toads about the same thing in Australia where they...
00:54:16.000 There is some grub that was eating, destroying sugar cane.
00:54:19.000 And in Hawaii, they're able to grow sugar and the grub is under control because they have these big toads that eat the grub.
00:54:28.000 So they brought the cane toads to Australia and introduced them.
00:54:32.000 And these toads are like that big.
00:54:34.000 I mean, they're like the size of a 16 ounce steak.
00:54:38.000 You know, they're massive.
00:54:39.000 That's crazy.
00:54:41.000 What a fucking, that's a frog?
00:54:43.000 And they're everywhere.
00:54:45.000 A toad?
00:54:45.000 And they've just, like, gone crazy.
00:54:47.000 And the movie is really funny, because it's like these people and their encounters with these cane toads, and they're Australian, so they're just naturally funny.
00:54:56.000 Can you eat them?
00:54:57.000 No, no, but they do have bufetinin.
00:55:00.000 If you lick them, you can get really high.
00:55:02.000 Oh.
00:55:02.000 But if your dog bites one, you'll kill your dog.
00:55:06.000 Wow.
00:55:06.000 Yeah, they're so...
00:55:08.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:55:10.000 I don't know, man.
00:55:11.000 It makes you think, like, you know, the whole superorganism idea.
00:55:14.000 Oh, there you go.
00:55:15.000 Look at that thing.
00:55:15.000 It's bigger than a steak.
00:55:17.000 Jesus fucking Christ!
00:55:19.000 That is so big!
00:55:21.000 It's so big, it looks like a large bass.
00:55:26.000 The movie is so funny.
00:55:27.000 It opens, there's this scene, it's like early morning, and the fog is sort of, it's a foggy hillside, and there's a road, and you see this van coming down the road, and it's sort of swerving, swerving around, and gradually you realize that he's running over as many cantos as he can,
00:55:46.000 and they're all over the road.
00:55:48.000 And he's like, he's hitting these cane totes.
00:55:51.000 And he talks about how if you hit it just right, where it's facing the van and you seal its mouth, it pops and there's this big explosion.
00:56:01.000 Jesus Christ.
00:56:02.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:56:04.000 They have so many of them that they just run over them in the road?
00:56:07.000 They're everywhere, man.
00:56:07.000 And it's the same thing as you were talking about.
00:56:10.000 They don't eat the grubs.
00:56:11.000 They eat everything else.
00:56:12.000 They eat mice.
00:56:13.000 They eat rats.
00:56:14.000 They eat all sorts of shit.
00:56:15.000 And they have no natural predators, and they're poisonous.
00:56:18.000 Right, and they're poisonous.
00:56:19.000 Fuck.
00:56:19.000 So that's out of control.
00:56:21.000 What's the proposal to try to manage that?
00:56:24.000 I don't know what they're doing now.
00:56:25.000 I saw this movie like 20 years ago at the Margaret Mead Film Festival in New York, and I've lost track of the cane-toed issue since then, I'm sure.
00:56:34.000 Do you know what happens with rabbits?
00:56:36.000 Every seven years, rabbits have a die-off.
00:56:38.000 Oh, really?
00:56:39.000 Yeah.
00:56:39.000 Rabbits, apparently, all farmers and ranchers would tell you, they go in these great cycles, these seven-year cycles.
00:56:47.000 And right now, the population in a lot of areas is very high.
00:56:50.000 Where I was in Colorado, this is where the guy was explaining to me.
00:56:53.000 You were just there like two days ago or something.
00:56:55.000 And the guy who I was with, he explained it to me, but I had heard it from a few people before, that their populations get extremely high, and then a disease comes along and wipes them out.
00:57:06.000 And it's clockwork.
00:57:08.000 It happens every seven years.
00:57:09.000 And then you find very few rabbits.
00:57:12.000 And then seven years later, it'll be a swarm again.
00:57:15.000 It just takes a few years for them to rebuild back up, and then they're back, and then the same thing happens again.
00:57:21.000 A new disease kicks along, maybe the same disease, I don't know.
00:57:24.000 But this cycle of die-offs, of great population growth and die-offs.
00:57:30.000 And this guy was arguing that I was hanging out with in Colorado.
00:57:33.000 He was saying, you know, it's quite likely that what we're looking at is a natural cycle and that it could be applied to the human race as well.
00:57:41.000 Yeah, there's a beautiful book, which I've recommended many times, called A Short History of Progress by Ronald Wright, a Canadian scientist.
00:57:49.000 And he looks at every civilization that's existed.
00:57:54.000 You know, the Mayans, the Sumerians, the Romans, the Easter Island, all these different civilizations.
00:58:01.000 And he shows that they all follow the same life cycle.
00:58:06.000 It's exactly what you're saying, that there's an organic rise, and then there are certain conditions that happen just naturally.
00:58:14.000 One follows the next, and then the decline.
00:58:17.000 And, you know, you see it happen again and again and again.
00:58:20.000 Yeah, it's like the tide.
00:58:22.000 You know, it's in and it's out.
00:58:24.000 Right.
00:58:24.000 It seems to be like a cycle that exists just in almost everything in nature, that there's some sort of a balancing factor that occurs with any system where you get an accumulation of one particular species or one particular thing,
00:58:39.000 and then it dies off, and then it comes back.
00:58:42.000 I mean, it could be argued that that's what the asteroidal impact is, that it's some sort of an inoculation from space.
00:58:48.000 Right.
00:58:49.000 Well, and also life apparently came from asteroids, right?
00:58:53.000 Yeah, panspermia.
00:58:54.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:58:54.000 That's the theory that even the building blocks of life, like simple life, like the amino acids, that all those things came by stars.
00:59:01.000 And then when you find out that a human being really essentially is made out of stardust, in order to have carbon-based life forms, you have to have a star explode.
00:59:10.000 Are you going to start singing hippie songs here?
00:59:12.000 No, it's too crazy, man.
00:59:13.000 I can't do it.
00:59:14.000 We are stardust.
00:59:15.000 What is that song?
00:59:17.000 Fucking shit.
00:59:18.000 Joni Mitchell.
00:59:19.000 Yeah, there's a bunch of them.
00:59:21.000 Yeah.
00:59:22.000 By the way, while we're talking about the cycles of life...
00:59:24.000 We are Billion Year Old Carbon.
00:59:25.000 Yeah.
00:59:25.000 And we've got to get away.
00:59:27.000 Get back to the garden.
00:59:28.000 Back to the garden.
00:59:30.000 Yeah.
00:59:30.000 Crosby, Stills, and Ash covered it.
00:59:32.000 Yes, yes, yes.
00:59:32.000 What was the name of that song?
00:59:36.000 Woodstock?
00:59:36.000 Yeah, Woodstock.
00:59:37.000 By the time we got to Woodstock.
00:59:39.000 We are stardust.
00:59:40.000 We are golden.
00:59:41.000 We are billion-year-old carbon.
00:59:42.000 We got to get our way back to the garden.
00:59:44.000 That's a beautiful song.
00:59:45.000 It was.
00:59:46.000 They were hippies.
00:59:47.000 I love their song.
00:59:48.000 High on acid, dirty feet.
00:59:50.000 Love the one you're with?
00:59:51.000 Yeah, that's a good one.
00:59:52.000 You like that?
00:59:54.000 That's the theme song to Sex at Dawn, yeah.
00:59:57.000 You should get a CD with the book or something.
00:59:59.000 It's funny, I've met quite a few girls who have read your book, and when they do read your book, there's one of two reactions.
01:00:06.000 One reaction is, fuck that guy, and the other reaction is, it's time to be a hoe.
01:00:13.000 It's time to just go out and get your freak on.
01:00:16.000 I was talking to this comic a couple weeks ago, and she was saying, have you ever read this book?
01:00:21.000 It's called Sex at Dawn.
01:00:22.000 I go, yeah.
01:00:23.000 I go, the author's a good friend of mine.
01:00:25.000 And she goes, fucking so right.
01:00:27.000 It's so right.
01:00:28.000 And I'm immediately like, oh, there's a freak.
01:00:30.000 There we go.
01:00:30.000 She's a freak.
01:00:32.000 Finally, somebody gave her her freak license.
01:00:34.000 Exactly.
01:00:35.000 Somebody came along with a PhD next to his name and said, it's okay to be a freak.
01:00:40.000 It's okay.
01:00:40.000 Do what you do.
01:00:41.000 It's all right.
01:00:43.000 Oh, man, I've gotten so many beautiful emails from women.
01:00:46.000 You know, I've gotten some angry ones, too, but some really beautiful ones from women who say, you know, like, and even some of the most moving ones are the ones where they say, like, I get my mom now.
01:00:57.000 Oh.
01:00:58.000 That's what really touches me.
01:01:00.000 I get it.
01:01:01.000 She wasn't bad.
01:01:03.000 She just liked to fuck.
01:01:05.000 Isn't that funny?
01:01:06.000 And in those days, that was a big problem.
01:01:09.000 It's a weird thing that we have such a conflicted relationship with.
01:01:14.000 On one hand, we sell everything with sex.
01:01:17.000 We use it to sell cars and fucking houses and everything.
01:01:22.000 It's so much so that a normal look for a woman, normal, in a business environment is exposed legs.
01:01:31.000 Just think about, what kind of a business environment would it be if men walked around with thongs?
01:01:38.000 It wouldn't exist.
01:01:39.000 I mean, what the fuck are you doing?
01:01:41.000 If men had like little short skirts that they wore to work, where your cock was just, you could just lift up the shirt, the skirt, and your cock would be right there.
01:01:49.000 That's not acceptable.
01:01:51.000 But women are so desirable, and sex is so desirable, that we have accepted this idea that a woman's attire could be like the easiest possible thing to fuck in.
01:02:06.000 Like, literally, panties that you just pull to the side and a skirt you just lift up.
01:02:10.000 Easy access.
01:02:11.000 And it's on Fox News.
01:02:11.000 And high heels, which flips your, you know, rear entry, you know.
01:02:15.000 And a bra.
01:02:16.000 What's a bra, you know?
01:02:18.000 I mean, a bra is about, like, here it is.
01:02:19.000 It's a tit shelf, you know?
01:02:21.000 A tit shelf.
01:02:21.000 That's exactly what it is, yeah.
01:02:23.000 Just letting everybody know.
01:02:25.000 It's right here.
01:02:25.000 Come and get it.
01:02:26.000 And yet, on the other side, you know, there...
01:02:28.000 You know, and none of this is to say that women should buy into this if they don't want to, or that, you know, objectifying...
01:02:37.000 I mean, objectifying is a complicated thing.
01:02:40.000 I think we all objectify constantly.
01:02:42.000 Right.
01:02:43.000 But, you know, like this guy, there was a big controversy a week or so ago.
01:02:47.000 Some guy, a woman sent, a lawyer in England sent, tried to contact a senior lawyer in this firm through LinkedIn.
01:02:58.000 Right.
01:02:58.000 To get a job.
01:02:59.000 And he wrote back and said, well, you know, we don't have a job right now, but I'll tell you, your photo is stunning and I'm sure you'll have lots of success.
01:03:06.000 So then she calls him out for sexual exploitation because he said her photo was stunning.
01:03:13.000 That was it.
01:03:13.000 That's just a compliment.
01:03:15.000 Yeah.
01:03:15.000 Is that all he said?
01:03:16.000 He didn't make any sexual advances?
01:03:18.000 Not like let's have dinner or nothing.
01:03:20.000 Just like your photo is stunning.
01:03:21.000 So it became this big deal.
01:03:24.000 And the guy, like, you know, half the people are saying the guy's a creep, you know?
01:03:29.000 And I'll tell you, creep-shaming is an interesting thing.
01:03:32.000 It is.
01:03:32.000 You know?
01:03:33.000 Like, if you're over 50, you should never...
01:03:36.000 You shouldn't be sexual.
01:03:37.000 You shouldn't be sexual, yeah.
01:03:39.000 What are you, like a 30-year-old girl, you piece of shit?
01:03:41.000 Right.
01:03:41.000 You're a pedophile.
01:03:42.000 Oh, you creep.
01:03:43.000 She's 22. Yeah.
01:03:44.000 Why would you be attracted to her?
01:03:46.000 She's a baby.
01:03:47.000 You Woody Allen.
01:03:48.000 You disgust me.
01:03:50.000 You disgust me with your sexual desires and your fucking Cialis-induced heart on.
01:03:55.000 Fuck you!
01:03:56.000 Speaking of standing up for people, I really appreciated the article you wrote recently.
01:04:04.000 It was Men's Life or I don't know.
01:04:08.000 Maxim.
01:04:09.000 That was really nicely done, man.
01:04:11.000 Thanks, man.
01:04:11.000 Seriously, as a guy who's not in great shape, I appreciated that.
01:04:16.000 Yeah, the concept.
01:04:17.000 Well, they wanted me to write something about the human body, about getting in shape or whatever.
01:04:22.000 And it just occurred to me to make the comparison to a human body in sandcastles.
01:04:28.000 Your body is like a sandcastle.
01:04:29.000 The reason why sandcastles are kind of cool is because you know that they're not going to last.
01:04:35.000 Yeah, it was really well done.
01:04:36.000 I mean, it called the mandala, the idea of building something beautiful that's going to be washed away as soon as you get done with it.
01:04:45.000 I often think about life that way, not physically so much, but...
01:04:50.000 Like, I feel I'm in my mid-50s now, and I feel like I'm starting to figure it out.
01:04:55.000 Yeah, that is part of the problem, right?
01:04:57.000 By the time you realize the hustle, the fucking game is almost done.
01:05:01.000 It's like I'm learning how to dance, and they're turning the lights on.
01:05:05.000 That's sort of probably also what contributed to all these fucked-up civilizations, was that people only lived to be like 30, you know, if you were really lucky.
01:05:13.000 So you were just constantly on momentum, like running downhill where you couldn't stop, like, ah!
01:05:19.000 And then the barbarian hordes cut your head off and then hopefully along the way you fucked and left behind some of your genes and then they fucked and people just died off in these giant chunks when rats came into your cities that carried fleas that had the plague and just...
01:05:36.000 And then finally we developed the ability to fight off diseases, inoculate ourselves from certain viruses, build up walls to keep out the barbarians, build up stockpiles of food so that we didn't have to constantly hunt and gather.
01:05:51.000 And then everybody went, hmm.
01:05:54.000 I think if you make something circular, we can roll it.
01:05:57.000 I'm going to call it a wheel.
01:05:58.000 And then they started pushing things along.
01:06:00.000 I mean, you could argue that agriculture and that civilization was the downfall, but you could also argue it was the beginning of real thought.
01:06:11.000 It was the beginning of relaxed thought because you had the opportunity to innovate.
01:06:15.000 Well, and you had the surplus of food that you could have people who thought for a living.
01:06:19.000 Yeah.
01:06:20.000 And then the machine slowly started to plot our demise.
01:06:23.000 They started with the, listen, I could be a wheel, man.
01:06:27.000 I can carry you around.
01:06:28.000 You don't have to put anything on your back.
01:06:29.000 I'll make life easier for you.
01:06:30.000 Hey, dude, you know, if you just fucking make a silo, you could put all your grain in the silo.
01:06:36.000 Yeah, exactly.
01:06:37.000 You have stockpiles in the winter.
01:06:39.000 And next thing you know, you got Steve Jobs.
01:06:40.000 Oh yeah, let me...
01:06:41.000 I mean, I remember in the...
01:06:42.000 It must have been the 80s when my boss gave me a beeper.
01:06:46.000 And I was like, oh cool, I get a beeper now.
01:06:48.000 And within two days, it's like, you might as well put a fucking leash around my neck, you know?
01:06:53.000 It's like, this isn't helping me.
01:06:54.000 This is for you, you fuck.
01:06:56.000 How about people that are required to answer emails over the weekends?
01:07:00.000 There's a lot of jobs that you're required to answer emails at night, over the weekend.
01:07:05.000 You have to constantly be aware.
01:07:06.000 You have to have your phone.
01:07:08.000 There's certain companies that require people that are employees to have their phone where the notifications are turned on so that an email's come in for the company.
01:07:15.000 You have to instantly answer them.
01:07:18.000 Even when you're not at work.
01:07:19.000 You're not at work.
01:07:19.000 You're working.
01:07:21.000 There's jobs, especially when it comes to Silicon Valley and these really very competitive tech industries.
01:07:27.000 There's a lot of debate as to when you should not have to answer an email.
01:07:32.000 When is it okay?
01:07:32.000 If your boss sends you an email at 7 o'clock at night and you don't respond until 6 o'clock in the morning when you wake up or whatever it is, you could get in trouble.
01:07:40.000 And they're fucking drug testing you.
01:07:41.000 Oh.
01:07:42.000 That drives me nuts.
01:07:43.000 You know, you smoke weed fucking last weekend, and you come to work, and you're like, are you fucking kidding me?
01:07:50.000 This is slavery!
01:07:51.000 That one's nuts.
01:07:51.000 That is slavery.
01:07:52.000 We're moving back to Spain.
01:07:54.000 Are you?
01:07:55.000 Oh, yeah.
01:07:55.000 Really?
01:07:56.000 Oh, yeah.
01:07:56.000 I mean, this was always a temporary visit.
01:07:59.000 This was a slow, nomadic trip through North America.
01:08:03.000 Portland, and then Spain.
01:08:04.000 Well, it was, I mean, first it was Vancouver, Canada.
01:08:08.000 And then we were in Nicaragua for the winter.
01:08:11.000 Then we went back to Vancouver.
01:08:12.000 Then we came to L.A. for the winter.
01:08:14.000 This is when, you know, you and I, Duncan, started doing the shrimp parade and all that.
01:08:18.000 I was living in Topanga.
01:08:19.000 But it's always like a slow move.
01:08:21.000 And then we went to Portland for a year and a half.
01:08:24.000 And now we're going to go back to Barcelona.
01:08:27.000 What made you decide?
01:08:29.000 To go back?
01:08:30.000 Yeah.
01:08:30.000 Well, we were always planning to go back.
01:08:32.000 I mean, we sort of flirted with maybe staying for a while.
01:08:37.000 But my wife's a doctor, and for her to get a license in the U.S. would mean like going back to medical school, essentially, which she's not going to do, right?
01:08:46.000 And she really likes working.
01:08:50.000 She hasn't worked in four years while we've been traveling.
01:08:53.000 So, you know, that's an issue, like if she's going to continue practicing.
01:08:58.000 But also just we really like Spain.
01:09:00.000 You know, I've lived in Spain most of my life.
01:09:02.000 I've lived in Barcelona longer than I've lived anywhere else.
01:09:05.000 Really?
01:09:06.000 And what is it about Barcelona that's more appealing than America?
01:09:09.000 You know, when I first got to Spain, I felt I traveled a lot and I was actually on my way somewhere else, but I got robbed and, you know, I ended up hanging out.
01:09:20.000 And the way Spanish people see life is much closer to the way I see life.
01:09:28.000 And so even though I was raised in America, I never felt like this country never really made sense to me.
01:09:35.000 How so?
01:09:36.000 Well, like what we're just talking about, like work.
01:09:38.000 Materialism.
01:09:39.000 Materialism, you know, it's all about money.
01:09:42.000 Spanish people, you know, the expression is we work to live, we don't live to work, right?
01:09:47.000 You know, there are no, like Spanish cars, there's no cup holder.
01:09:51.000 If you want to get a drink, pull over in a cafe and get a drink.
01:09:54.000 There are no to-go cups.
01:09:56.000 You want a coffee?
01:09:57.000 Go to a cafe.
01:09:58.000 Really?
01:09:59.000 Yeah.
01:10:00.000 Someone should tell them about cups with lids on them.
01:10:04.000 What the fuck is wrong with those apes?
01:10:06.000 Crazy, uncivilized, heathens, fucking cave people.
01:10:10.000 Sex.
01:10:11.000 You know, even though Spain is, you know, officially a Catholic country, there's so much more chilled out about sex.
01:10:18.000 About sex outside of marriage.
01:10:21.000 Like, eh, whatever.
01:10:22.000 Just don't tell me about it.
01:10:23.000 That's the sort of normal way to deal with it.
01:10:27.000 Women.
01:10:28.000 No.
01:10:29.000 I've lived in Spain 23 years or something, right?
01:10:32.000 I get accustomed when I see a beautiful woman.
01:10:34.000 I look at her.
01:10:36.000 And she knows I'm looking at her.
01:10:37.000 And she appreciates it.
01:10:38.000 And she smiles.
01:10:39.000 And I smile.
01:10:39.000 And everybody's happy.
01:10:40.000 Come to America.
01:10:41.000 Look at a woman like that.
01:10:42.000 You're a fucking rapist.
01:10:43.000 Right.
01:10:44.000 You're eye raping me.
01:10:45.000 Have you heard that?
01:10:48.000 Microaggressions.
01:10:48.000 I mean, fuck your microaggressions.
01:10:51.000 I don't want to hear...
01:10:52.000 If you're not a fucking dwarf, I don't want to hear about microaggressions.
01:10:55.000 Give me a break.
01:10:57.000 I mean, this country is just nuts, man.
01:11:01.000 And I feel bad because I love people here.
01:11:05.000 I've got great friends here.
01:11:06.000 There are a lot of things I love about it.
01:11:09.000 Work-wise, it's the best place to be.
01:11:11.000 But life-wise, fuck, I love Spain.
01:11:15.000 You go out to lunch with a friend, it's probably going to go until 5 or 6 o'clock.
01:11:20.000 Everybody just hangs out.
01:11:21.000 It's more of a hangout.
01:11:22.000 Yeah.
01:11:22.000 No, like restaurants.
01:11:24.000 I'm sitting in a restaurant.
01:11:26.000 And we're talking.
01:11:27.000 The waiter, first of all, the waiter is going to come four times and ask, you know, how is everything?
01:11:31.000 How are you?
01:11:32.000 How's your day going?
01:11:33.000 Fuck you.
01:11:33.000 Get away.
01:11:34.000 I'm trying to talk to my friend here, right?
01:11:37.000 Then they'll come and say, are you still working on that?
01:11:41.000 This isn't work.
01:11:42.000 This is fucking lunch.
01:11:43.000 Am I working on that?
01:11:45.000 Get out of here.
01:11:46.000 Drive me crazy.
01:11:47.000 Tips, 20%.
01:11:49.000 I go to Portland.
01:11:50.000 I fucking buy a croissant and a cup of coffee.
01:11:53.000 There's a big tip jar.
01:11:54.000 I run my credit card.
01:11:55.000 10%, 15%.
01:11:57.000 You just handed me a fucking bag and a cup.
01:12:00.000 I'm supposed to give you 15% extra?
01:12:02.000 That's because your boss is too fucking cheap to pay you a decent wage.
01:12:06.000 That is true.
01:12:06.000 That is exactly what it is.
01:12:08.000 I like the tip thing because I like being generous.
01:12:11.000 I like the option to make someone happy by giving them a nice tip.
01:12:15.000 But it is kind of fucked that waiters and waitresses don't even make minimum wage.
01:12:20.000 I don't know if that's true anymore.
01:12:22.000 Is that still true?
01:12:23.000 That is true.
01:12:23.000 That's crazy to me.
01:12:24.000 That seems rude.
01:12:26.000 It seems evil.
01:12:27.000 It seems illegal.
01:12:29.000 It's humiliating, too, because they have to smile and give you all this fake cheerfulness.
01:12:34.000 There was an article that was written recently about that, about the emotional toll of requiring people to be artificially happy and that it's not productive.
01:12:46.000 And that, like, the artificially happy people that answer phones and ask questions and, and how are you today, sir?
01:12:52.000 And how's everything?
01:12:53.000 Like, requiring people to do that, that work for you, not only is it not productive, it wears them out and it makes them less productive at other things that you probably need them to because there's like a, there's a mental, there's an energy that you need to do that,
01:13:08.000 that you could be doing and directing towards something that's actually productive.
01:13:12.000 Instead of like, it's one thing, you don't want to be rude, but just being efficient is enough.
01:13:18.000 You don't have to have this like fake sort of smiley bullshit.
01:13:22.000 But that fake smiley bullshit, people require it, like especially people who are customers.
01:13:28.000 The customer's always right, like that kind of nonsense.
01:13:31.000 Like this relationship where the customer has to be like massaged and catered to.
01:13:36.000 Instead of just appreciated as a fellow human being.
01:13:39.000 Yeah.
01:13:39.000 There's like an established relationship between the customer and the employee.
01:13:43.000 Your employee is rude.
01:13:46.000 Sir, I'm sorry.
01:13:47.000 Is there any way we can make it up to you?
01:13:49.000 I don't know.
01:13:50.000 I might be taking my business elsewhere!
01:13:54.000 Yeah.
01:13:55.000 You know, I mean, if that was about friendship, you'd be like, well, go fuck off.
01:13:58.000 Make a new friend, dickhead.
01:14:00.000 And in Spain, that's the reaction you'll get.
01:14:02.000 Well, that's nice.
01:14:03.000 You go into a show.
01:14:04.000 But see, in Spain, I bitch all the time, too, right?
01:14:06.000 So, you know, take it with a grain of salt.
01:14:09.000 What do you bitch about in Spain?
01:14:11.000 Where's the fucking waiter?
01:14:12.000 The people are rude.
01:14:15.000 Exactly.
01:14:16.000 That is true, though.
01:14:17.000 One thing I do find in Europe, the service is not as good.
01:14:20.000 No.
01:14:21.000 It's just not.
01:14:22.000 No, because they don't get paid tips.
01:14:23.000 And they don't give a fuck.
01:14:24.000 But they should probably give a fuck.
01:14:27.000 Like, there's a middle ground there somewhere.
01:14:29.000 Yeah.
01:14:30.000 I think that is the middle ground, right?
01:14:32.000 I think, like, in Spain, you go into a shop to buy whatever, and the woman's on the phone with her boyfriend.
01:14:39.000 Mm-hmm.
01:14:40.000 She's going to finish her conversation before she comes to help you, right?
01:14:44.000 Yeah.
01:14:44.000 But, I mean, for example, I went to Spain a few months ago to renew my residency paperwork and all that.
01:14:49.000 And it was a typically Spanish experience where, you know, this kind of thing in America, you would, you know, go online and fill out this thing and, you know, call the IRS and be on hold.
01:15:02.000 And then you'd get some grumpy asshole in Philadelphia.
01:15:05.000 But it would all get done pretty quickly.
01:15:07.000 In Spain, you go to this office, and they're like, hey, how are you?
01:15:10.000 No, they're really friendly and nice.
01:15:11.000 Oh, no, it's not this office.
01:15:13.000 You have to go to this other office.
01:15:14.000 Oh, sorry.
01:15:14.000 Okay.
01:15:15.000 You go to the other office.
01:15:16.000 They're really nice, but that's not the right office either.
01:15:18.000 They misinformed you.
01:15:19.000 But nobody's got any mala leche, as they say in Spanish, which is like bad milk, literally, which is like bad intentions.
01:15:26.000 So it takes three days, and it's kind of a pain in the ass, but it isn't a pain in the ass because you're having fun all the time.
01:15:34.000 Yeah.
01:15:35.000 Everyone's nice.
01:15:36.000 The women are beautiful.
01:15:38.000 The cops are nice in Spain.
01:15:40.000 They're nice guys.
01:15:41.000 You can go up to a cop in Spain and be like, hey man, you know, can I park here?
01:15:46.000 And he's like, eh.
01:15:47.000 I remember literally I was trying to park my motorcycle in the Ramblas and it's no parking, but there are motorcycles everywhere.
01:15:54.000 And there's this cop standing right there.
01:15:55.000 So I go over and I'm like, I'm a foreigner, right?
01:15:58.000 Can I park my bike here or not?
01:16:00.000 And he says, legally no, but nobody will say anything.
01:16:04.000 Can you imagine an American cop saying that?
01:16:06.000 Never.
01:16:06.000 Maybe in the 60s.
01:16:08.000 When would that have ever been said in this country?
01:16:11.000 It'd have to be a long time ago.
01:16:12.000 And see, the legal system is, in Spain, it's a problem if you're bothering someone.
01:16:21.000 Not if you're breaking a law.
01:16:23.000 If you're breaking a law and nobody says anything, the cops don't give a shit.
01:16:29.000 So in America, it's the law.
01:16:32.000 It's, did you break the law?
01:16:33.000 Are you growing weed on your terrace?
01:16:36.000 We're flying helicopters with infrared detectors to catch you.
01:16:41.000 Not, did your neighbors complain or did you shoot somebody, right?
01:16:45.000 In Spain, like, I grew weed on my terrace for 20 years.
01:16:48.000 Nobody said a fucking word.
01:16:50.000 Nobody cared.
01:16:51.000 Is weed legal in Spain?
01:16:53.000 Like a lot of things in Spain, it's kind of not, kind of is.
01:16:58.000 Tolerated?
01:16:59.000 And this is a really important cognitive difference between Spain and the U.S. is tolerance for ambiguity, right?
01:17:08.000 Like in Spain, I'll tune in like, oh, there's a Barca-Madrid soccer game.
01:17:13.000 Really big deal, right?
01:17:14.000 Starts at 8 o'clock.
01:17:16.000 I'll turn on the TV at 8 o'clock and there's still some fucking sitcom on.
01:17:20.000 What's going on?
01:17:21.000 Well, they're running late.
01:17:22.000 You know, the game will start in 10 minutes.
01:17:25.000 Or, you know, it's just, can you park here?
01:17:28.000 Well, you know, there's a lot of ambiguity, and no one really cares.
01:17:34.000 If it's not causing a problem, whatever.
01:17:37.000 Whatever, you know?
01:17:39.000 So weed.
01:17:40.000 For a long time, weed was illegal, officially.
01:17:43.000 But the cops didn't care.
01:17:46.000 So if you're smoking a joint on a playground and a cop walks by, he's probably going to say, dude, what the fuck?
01:17:54.000 Go somewhere else.
01:17:55.000 Get away from this playground.
01:17:56.000 The kid's here.
01:17:57.000 That's what would happen.
01:17:58.000 That's it?
01:17:59.000 That's it.
01:17:59.000 If you give him shit, then maybe it'll escalate.
01:18:04.000 Do they have quotas?
01:18:05.000 No.
01:18:06.000 No quotas.
01:18:07.000 No property seizures.
01:18:09.000 There's none of that stuff.
01:18:11.000 No minimum mandatory sentencing.
01:18:14.000 The property seizures, if people don't know about it, they've lessened them considerably.
01:18:20.000 But those things are horrific.
01:18:21.000 And what they've done to people is they've dragged people into the legal system, oftentimes when they're completely innocent.
01:18:28.000 Property seizures are not necessarily...
01:18:31.000 In many states, even a result of them catching you with something illegal, it's catching them with too much cash.
01:18:37.000 Like, there's a lot of people that have gotten caught.
01:18:39.000 Some states, I think it was North Carolina or South Carolina, some states were really bad with it.
01:18:45.000 They would catch people that would be, say, like, say if you were going to buy a car.
01:18:48.000 Like, you call the guy on the phone, how much do you want for the car?
01:18:50.000 Ten grand.
01:18:50.000 Okay, I got it.
01:18:51.000 So you got your ten grand, your cash, you're driving over to this guy's house to buy the car, and you have this ten grand, you get pulled over.
01:18:57.000 The cop would go, what are you doing 10 grand?
01:18:58.000 I'm going to buy a car.
01:18:59.000 Well, we don't believe you.
01:19:01.000 We're going to take that 10 grand.
01:19:02.000 And so they would take that 10 grand.
01:19:04.000 In one case, this police department had bought a margarita machine with the 10 grand that they stole from people that they thought were buying drugs.
01:19:13.000 Or they claimed to think were buying drugs.
01:19:15.000 Claimed to think.
01:19:16.000 But just stop and think about that.
01:19:17.000 They took the money to buy a drug machine.
01:19:21.000 Which is what a margarita machine is.
01:19:22.000 I mean, a margarita mixer.
01:19:24.000 Like, what the fuck, man?
01:19:26.000 Like, that kind of corruption, that kind of sneakiness where you write it down and you make it legal in quotes.
01:19:33.000 Well, it's on the books.
01:19:34.000 Search, you know, asset forfeiture for people that are suspected for selling drugs.
01:19:41.000 If you have more than X amount of dollars on you, we can pull you over for that.
01:19:44.000 And they've just used that over and over again, that one law, to rip off law-abiding citizens and then drag them through the legal system for years at their own expense.
01:19:54.000 So even if they get their money back, the amount of time it's cost them, and obviously that time, a lot of it is you're going to lose work because of that time, and then hiring lawyers, legal fees.
01:20:06.000 And if you lose, they robbed you of time and the money.
01:20:10.000 If you can't prove where that money came from, maybe you're just really shitty with your taxes.
01:20:14.000 You don't pay taxes, you work for cash, and you've been just working odd jobs for cash, you saved up a bunch of money.
01:20:20.000 You can't prove that that money came from illegal means.
01:20:24.000 You're fucked.
01:20:25.000 Well, like everything else in this country, it's set up to fuck the person who can't afford to defend themselves.
01:20:31.000 And it's set up even a creepier way that's anti the way this country is supposed to be set up where you're guilty until proven innocent.
01:20:36.000 You have to prove yourself innocent just by having currency on you.
01:20:40.000 I mean, and it's less than someone makes in a year.
01:20:43.000 It's like the idea that you had savings, get the fuck out of here.
01:20:46.000 You don't save anything, dummy.
01:20:48.000 Give me that.
01:20:49.000 And some kid who's selling weed and living in his parents' basement, if they bust him, they take the parents' house.
01:20:56.000 Parents had nothing to do with it.
01:20:57.000 They'll take your car.
01:20:58.000 They pull you over and you got a joint in your car, they sell your car.
01:21:01.000 I mean, there's been a lot of that going on over the past few decades.
01:21:05.000 Ever since that Just Say No shit, when we saw on television with Nancy Reagan, that began the fucking hysteria of this stuff.
01:21:13.000 And then asset forfeiture is just legalized stealing.
01:21:16.000 And it's, you know, a fucking billion-dollar industry in this country.
01:21:20.000 Yeah.
01:21:21.000 Legalized stealing, and then you got legalized, you know, bribery in the political system.
01:21:27.000 Okay, sure, yeah.
01:21:29.000 That's what lobbyists are.
01:21:30.000 Yeah, super PACs.
01:21:32.000 I mean, this country is collapsing, right?
01:21:36.000 You can see it.
01:21:37.000 If you start reading these books we're talking about, you can see the phase that we're in.
01:21:41.000 We're in a phase now where there are all these different industries that are set up to extract the commonwealth.
01:21:49.000 Literally, the wealth of the community is being pulled.
01:21:53.000 The war is in the Middle East.
01:21:54.000 What was that serving?
01:21:56.000 The only people who benefited from any of that were Bechtel and Raytheon and Halliburton.
01:22:02.000 Yeah, these guys who do this for a living.
01:22:05.000 And Eisenhower himself said, you know, the military-industrial complex, when you get people who make a living...
01:22:12.000 With bombs, and they need to be making bombs, well, they're going to blow those bombs up.
01:22:17.000 They're going to find a reason to use those bombs.
01:22:19.000 Of course.
01:22:19.000 That was one of the creepiest speeches ever, and the most fascinating thing about it is that it was captured, I mean, it was broadcast on television, but if you didn't listen to it that time, it was gone.
01:22:31.000 He said it, and then it was gone.
01:22:33.000 And it was years and years and years later before people started actually watching that, like in the fog of war.
01:22:39.000 Wasn't it in the fog of war?
01:22:40.000 Was it in that?
01:22:41.000 Is that the McNamara movie?
01:22:44.000 Yes.
01:22:44.000 It might not have been in that, but regardless, it's definitely available on YouTube.
01:22:50.000 I mean, I've watched it a dozen times.
01:22:51.000 I saw it in The Corporation.
01:22:52.000 Have you seen that film?
01:22:53.000 Yes, I did.
01:22:54.000 That was a great documentary.
01:22:55.000 Very good documentary.
01:22:56.000 That's a creepy documentary when you realize that when they compare corporations to psychopaths and the idea of the infinite.
01:23:03.000 There it is, yeah.
01:23:05.000 If you make a billion dollars a year, you go, wow, you're successful.
01:23:09.000 What do you make next year?
01:23:10.000 Well, I'm just going to make a billion again.
01:23:12.000 What are you, a fucking loser?
01:23:13.000 You have to make a billion one or a billion two.
01:23:16.000 Growth.
01:23:16.000 Infinite growth.
01:23:18.000 Like, that is what the stock market's all about, right?
01:23:20.000 Consistent, infinite growth.
01:23:22.000 Apple consistently makes more money.
01:23:25.000 Every year, they have to make more money at Google.
01:23:26.000 Every year, you know, every fucking company, they have to make more money.
01:23:30.000 You can't...
01:23:31.000 Chris Ryan Enterprises is...
01:23:32.000 You have to constantly be in the black, Chris Ryan.
01:23:36.000 I got bad news for my shareholders.
01:23:39.000 We peaked.
01:23:40.000 We decided to convert our dollars to whatever the fuck they have in Spain.
01:23:44.000 What's the Spain money?
01:23:45.000 Oh, they're in euros now.
01:23:46.000 It used to be pesetas.
01:23:48.000 So what do you do when you go over there?
01:23:50.000 I sit back and let my fucking wife work.
01:23:53.000 I married a doctor, dude.
01:23:55.000 I married a doctor.
01:23:57.000 I'm like, I am set.
01:23:58.000 I am set for life.
01:24:00.000 And that's how you were thinking when you married her?
01:24:03.000 Well, you know, a little bit.
01:24:04.000 Well, you love her, obviously.
01:24:05.000 Of course, I love her.
01:24:06.000 But there's also that added benefit, the fact that she's in a good business.
01:24:09.000 Well, I mean, the thing is, doctors in Europe don't make the kind of money doctors make in the U.S., right?
01:24:14.000 But nor do they, you know, come out of college with $200,000 in debt.
01:24:19.000 Right.
01:24:20.000 Malpractice insurance, is that all a burden?
01:24:23.000 No.
01:24:23.000 I mean, the whole thing is so amped up in the U.S. A good doctor, like, you know, normal sort of—she's a psychiatrist— The psychiatrist in Spain, you know, good experience, whatever, might make 70 grand a year.
01:24:37.000 Something like that.
01:24:37.000 You know, like a decent, stable, you know, good benefits.
01:24:41.000 Everyone in Spain, everyone in Europe gets at least a month off every year.
01:24:46.000 That's cool.
01:24:47.000 Paid.
01:24:47.000 A month off.
01:24:48.000 If you work in a shop, you get a month off.
01:24:50.000 But they have the full 30 days off, or do they get like a week here, a week there?
01:24:54.000 Full 30 days, use it when you want.
01:24:55.000 30 days in a row, you can do if you want.
01:24:57.000 You can do if you want.
01:24:57.000 Most people take August.
01:24:59.000 The month of August, like nothing is happening.
01:25:02.000 Barcelona is empty.
01:25:03.000 Really?
01:25:03.000 In the month of August.
01:25:04.000 Yeah, it's amazing.
01:25:07.000 But, you know, like, the thing about Spain that I love is that life is about pleasure.
01:25:14.000 I mean, if we had to really boil it down, there is no shame in pleasure.
01:25:19.000 And in America, pleasure is shameful.
01:25:22.000 Why do you think that is?
01:25:23.000 Why are we so— Outsiders who did have pleasure.
01:25:46.000 Black people.
01:25:47.000 Indians.
01:25:49.000 Mexicans.
01:25:50.000 They're coming back again into fashion as the victims.
01:25:53.000 Attack these brown-skinned pleasure hedonists.
01:26:00.000 Because they're evil.
01:26:02.000 That's all evil shit.
01:26:03.000 Nobody buys that shit in Europe.
01:26:06.000 In Spain, anyway.
01:26:08.000 Yeah.
01:26:11.000 Fucking Footloose.
01:26:12.000 This is how dumb we are in America.
01:26:14.000 We made Footloose again.
01:26:16.000 They tried to remake Footloose as fucks.
01:26:19.000 That's interesting, though.
01:26:21.000 It's also, when you look at it, America is so overwhelmingly infatuated with productivity.
01:26:28.000 Yeah.
01:26:29.000 You know, I mean, being productive and getting...
01:26:32.000 Efficiency.
01:26:32.000 Yes, efficiency.
01:26:33.000 Yeah.
01:26:33.000 And, you know, look at our workforce.
01:26:36.000 You know, we have...
01:26:37.000 Like, there's a goddamn commercial.
01:26:39.000 I think it's for, like, Shell.
01:26:41.000 I think it's a Shell commercial.
01:26:43.000 And there's an old man, and it's the weirdest fucking commercial.
01:26:47.000 And it's talking about how hard this guy works.
01:26:51.000 And this guy, he's a farmer.
01:26:53.000 And he's standing in a field of wheat.
01:26:55.000 And he's like, you work hard not because you have to, but because it's what you do.
01:27:00.000 And the guy smiles.
01:27:01.000 And I'm like, what the fuck are you saying?
01:27:04.000 It's almost like you're trying to trick people into working hard so they can tell people.
01:27:08.000 There it is right there.
01:27:08.000 This is the guy.
01:27:10.000 Can we play this?
01:27:11.000 Let's play this because it's just go full screen because it's so fucking bizarre.
01:27:16.000 This is one of the weirdest commercials, man.
01:27:18.000 I always weird out because they air this commercial during hunting shows.
01:27:24.000 Not because you have to.
01:27:27.000 Not because some boss told you to.
01:27:31.000 But because that's what you were born to do.
01:27:33.000 Now watch this.
01:27:34.000 They get close on this guy.
01:27:35.000 And that deserves the best we can do.
01:27:37.000 And he smiles.
01:27:38.000 It's what you're born to do.
01:27:40.000 Thank you.
01:27:41.000 Thank you for working hard from the number one heavy duty engine oil in America.
01:27:45.000 What the fuck kind of a commercial is that?
01:27:49.000 It's what you were born to do?
01:27:51.000 Now here's what kills me.
01:27:53.000 The person who wrote those words...
01:27:56.000 Doesn't work for Shell.
01:27:57.000 He works for an advertising agency that they hired to do that.
01:28:00.000 Yeah.
01:28:00.000 That old man, he's a fucking actor.
01:28:02.000 Yes.
01:28:04.000 Nobody who works for Shell really had anything to do with that.
01:28:07.000 Yeah.
01:28:08.000 You know, so the classic commercial.
01:28:10.000 Here at Chevron, we believe that blah, blah, blah.
01:28:13.000 And then you see all the people with clipboards and hard hats of various racial backgrounds.
01:28:17.000 None of those people work for fucking Chevron.
01:28:20.000 None of them.
01:28:21.000 The guy who wrote the words doesn't work.
01:28:23.000 The guy who's reading the words doesn't work.
01:28:26.000 Chevron is an entity that there is no there there.
01:28:31.000 Right.
01:28:32.000 It's just a collection of people designed to collect money.
01:28:35.000 And it's not even the people who matter because all those people could quit tomorrow and Chevron would still exist.
01:28:43.000 They just hire more people.
01:28:44.000 So Chevron's like the whirlpool and the people are the water.
01:28:48.000 You know?
01:28:49.000 So that's part of this whole thing I'm writing.
01:28:51.000 But, you know, did you see that commercial?
01:28:53.000 Speaking of irritating American commercials, there was one, I think it was on the Super Bowl even, where there's like a dude walking through the house and he's like, why do I have the best?
01:29:04.000 I have the best because that's what I am and that's what I do.
01:29:06.000 And he like high fives his kid.
01:29:08.000 It was a Cadillac commercial.
01:29:10.000 Do you remember that?
01:29:11.000 It was so irritating.
01:29:12.000 I haven't seen it.
01:29:14.000 Oh, it was so fucking annoying.
01:29:16.000 Why do I have the best?
01:29:17.000 Because that's what I am?
01:29:18.000 Because that's who I am.
01:29:19.000 We work harder.
01:29:20.000 We play harder.
01:29:22.000 And it's about America?
01:29:24.000 Yeah.
01:29:25.000 Bro?
01:29:27.000 What happened to bro?
01:29:29.000 Bro used to be cool.
01:29:30.000 You know that guy was in a frat.
01:29:32.000 I know, but calling someone bro used to be, what's up, bro?
01:29:36.000 It used to be okay.
01:29:37.000 Yeah.
01:29:38.000 It used to be like a black thing, in fact.
01:29:40.000 It started out, and white people ruined it.
01:29:43.000 White frat boys.
01:29:43.000 Like, dorky young white guys ruin bro.
01:29:46.000 Yeah.
01:29:46.000 What's up, bro?
01:29:47.000 Like, that used to be okay!
01:29:49.000 Bro would be like, he called me bro.
01:29:51.000 I'm a brother.
01:29:51.000 It's short for brother.
01:29:53.000 But now bro is like the douchiest thing someone could call you.
01:29:57.000 He's a bro.
01:29:58.000 Or one of the things that people love to throw around is, especially in the fitness industry, is bro science.
01:30:05.000 There's a lot of really wacky ideas when it comes to athletics, and some people, they have these ideas that don't necessarily have any scientific background to them, and they call it bro science.
01:30:16.000 Yeah, he's full of bro science.
01:30:18.000 Bromance?
01:30:19.000 Yeah, bromance.
01:30:20.000 But bromance is, you know, you love a guy.
01:30:22.000 Yeah.
01:30:23.000 That's like, oh, that guy's awesome.
01:30:24.000 I got a bromance for that guy.
01:30:25.000 That's not quite as douchey.
01:30:27.000 Someone was teaching me the, what is it, the handshake, shoulder, one arm.
01:30:33.000 There is a definite thing there.
01:30:34.000 There's a thing.
01:30:35.000 Yeah.
01:30:36.000 Yeah.
01:30:37.000 There's like a grip, like a fucking manly thumb up grip.
01:30:41.000 And then the one thing, and if you're really douchey, give a couple slaps on the back.
01:30:47.000 Yeah, there's a word for that too.
01:30:49.000 It's like, I'm not gay slapped.
01:30:50.000 I've seen people slap each other pretty goddamn hard doing that.
01:30:53.000 That doesn't feel good.
01:30:55.000 Here's another thing I love about Spain.
01:30:57.000 You kiss girls, always.
01:30:59.000 On the mouth?
01:31:00.000 No, on the cheeks.
01:31:02.000 Right in the pussy.
01:31:07.000 You meet a woman, you kiss, kiss.
01:31:10.000 Oh, okay.
01:31:11.000 Then I come to America and it's like, hi, how are you?
01:31:14.000 Right.
01:31:14.000 You know, like keep four feet away from me.
01:31:16.000 You might be a rapist.
01:31:17.000 You're eye raping them already.
01:31:19.000 What are you doing?
01:31:19.000 Looking at them?
01:31:20.000 You fucking creep.
01:31:21.000 You over 50?
01:31:22.000 I am.
01:31:23.000 You over 50 looking at a woman?
01:31:24.000 You piece of shit.
01:31:25.000 I know, I know.
01:31:26.000 What the fuck is wrong with you?
01:31:27.000 Don't you have grandchildren or something to go wait on?
01:31:30.000 Hey, what do you think about Donald Trump talking about how hot his daughter is?
01:31:34.000 Did he say that?
01:31:35.000 He did.
01:31:35.000 Oh, you didn't hear about this?
01:31:36.000 So this became a big problem because he said, you know, Ivanka, my daughter, she's one of the hottest, you know, most beautiful women in life.
01:31:46.000 And he said, I'll tell you what, if I were 30 years younger and not her dad...
01:31:50.000 Whoa!
01:31:52.000 What the fuck does that mean?
01:31:55.000 Jesus Christ.
01:31:56.000 I wonder if he's jerked off to his daughter.
01:31:58.000 Just saying, look, this is just thought.
01:32:00.000 No one's getting hurt here.
01:32:02.000 It's me alone and my ideas.
01:32:06.000 I made her.
01:32:08.000 Yeah, I don't know.
01:32:09.000 That's a weird thing to say.
01:32:11.000 It is a weird thing to say, but I think it's better to say it than to think it and give it power.
01:32:18.000 Right.
01:32:19.000 Right.
01:32:19.000 I think saying shit, and this, again, you know, back to the whole Spain-US thing.
01:32:25.000 In America, there is thought crime.
01:32:30.000 And in Spain, I don't think...
01:32:32.000 Now, maybe I'm romanticizing Spain.
01:32:34.000 I lived there a long time.
01:32:35.000 But another thing I really like about living in Spain is that I speak the language well enough to...
01:32:41.000 Like, if I'm paying attention, I know what everyone's saying.
01:32:44.000 But if I'm not paying attention, it all just becomes in the background.
01:32:49.000 Oh, nice.
01:32:50.000 Like jazz.
01:32:50.000 Yeah.
01:32:52.000 Certain kind of jazz.
01:32:53.000 Elevator music.
01:32:55.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:32:56.000 When I was in high school, someone wrote an article for the local school paper.
01:33:03.000 And I don't remember...
01:33:06.000 Most things from high school, so long ago.
01:33:08.000 But I remember this one article that this kid wrote about what they make you do in the Boy Scouts.
01:33:15.000 And it was about the tenants of the Boy Scouts, whatever they were.
01:33:18.000 But one of them was about keeping your thoughts pure.
01:33:22.000 Oh, yeah.
01:33:22.000 And he wrote something that was really cool.
01:33:24.000 It was, you know, obviously a really smart kid.
01:33:26.000 I wish I remember who it was.
01:33:28.000 But he wrote, well, why do I have to keep my thoughts pure?
01:33:31.000 He goes, one of the things that I like about my thoughts is that they're mine.
01:33:35.000 I can think whatever I want.
01:33:37.000 As long as I don't do anything that harms anybody, why do you care what my thoughts are?
01:33:41.000 And I remember reading that.
01:33:42.000 I was like, wow, that's so right.
01:33:44.000 What does that mean, keep your thoughts pure?
01:33:47.000 Guy's in jail now.
01:33:48.000 Probably.
01:33:49.000 He might be.
01:33:50.000 George Carlin did a great thing on that, you know, in terms of Catholicism and how he said, like, this was like class clown way back, right?
01:33:58.000 But I remember I was a little kid.
01:34:00.000 My dad got that record.
01:34:01.000 And I remember one of the bits in there was like, You know, in Catholicism, if you think about sinning, you've already sinned.
01:34:10.000 So if you're thinking about feeling up Sally at the weekend, save your time.
01:34:14.000 You're already sinned.
01:34:16.000 It's done, right?
01:34:17.000 Impure thoughts.
01:34:18.000 Yeah, impure thoughts.
01:34:19.000 That's straight out of Christianity.
01:34:21.000 Well, also, the confession.
01:34:23.000 The confessional is one of the most bizarre and ridiculous ideas.
01:34:27.000 Put your balls on the table.
01:34:28.000 And it was invented to make sure that people weren't doing anything wrong.
01:34:33.000 I mean, the priests would immediately report to any higher-ups of any illegal activity or stealing or, you know, adultery or fornication or whatever the fuck it would be.
01:34:44.000 Do you ever read about the crazy shit where people were fucking animals in the Middle Ages and they would have trials?
01:34:51.000 And sometimes the animals would be executed for being overly seductive.
01:34:57.000 You know what?
01:34:58.000 Now that you brought this up, I read something recently about this.
01:35:02.000 God, I can't remember what the story was, but it was the animal trials.
01:35:06.000 It was about animal trials.
01:35:07.000 Did you tweet that or anything?
01:35:09.000 Could be.
01:35:10.000 I don't know.
01:35:10.000 I have a friend who just wrote a book, The Boundaries of Desire.
01:35:14.000 He's a historian who focuses on sexuality.
01:35:20.000 And his first book was Sex and Punishment, and it was sort of like from the origins of civilization to the end of the 19th century, and then Boundaries of Desire is the 20th century.
01:35:31.000 So he writes about all this crazy legal shit and, you know, like the Comstock laws that made it illegal to, in early 20th century America, to even teach sex education to women.
01:35:44.000 Like you couldn't even teach women how they get pregnant.
01:35:47.000 That was illegal.
01:35:49.000 Because of this crazy fuck.
01:35:50.000 Wow.
01:35:51.000 I've always wondered what it is about people that makes them, like, it's oftentimes, like, some of the earliest imprinting with pleasure that makes people attracted to certain things.
01:36:02.000 That's where, like, fetishes come from.
01:36:03.000 And I've always wondered, like, some people are like, Just overly attracted to extremely overweight women, like for whatever reason, that just locks into them.
01:36:14.000 That's their thing.
01:36:15.000 And I've always wondered, like, what is it about sexuality that, like, sexuality is, like, malleable?
01:36:21.000 Like, it kind of adjusts to, like, what...
01:36:27.000 I've heard stories of guys who caught their mom putting on pantyhose once when they were really young and then for the rest of their life became fascinated with a fetish of women wearing pantyhose and they want to jerk off on pantyhose and have pantyhose rubbed on their dicks.
01:36:44.000 It becomes this weird sort of a sexual imprinting thing.
01:36:50.000 Yeah, one of the interesting differences between male and female sexual development is that women don't seem to have that.
01:36:58.000 It's called erotic plasticity.
01:37:01.000 Women are plastic throughout their lives, so it's easier for them to adapt to different situations.
01:37:07.000 Now, sometimes that works against them.
01:37:09.000 Right?
01:37:10.000 Because they fall in love with an asshole, an abusive asshole or whatever.
01:37:14.000 But men have a developmental window, generally from like five to nine years of age, somewhere in there.
01:37:22.000 And exactly as you described it, if there's a particular experience that they have during that time, it can resonate with them for the rest of their lives.
01:37:32.000 And once that window closes, that's it.
01:37:34.000 It's done.
01:37:36.000 You know, as you say, it could be pantyhose, it could be red high heels, it could be, you know, whatever it is.
01:37:42.000 They've got that association and they can never not have it.
01:37:46.000 They'll have it for the rest of their lives.
01:37:48.000 Some people argue that pedophilia is a result of the same sort of thing.
01:37:53.000 And I've argued, not in writing, but I've mentioned it on the podcast, I think that there's We form a manifestation of homosexuality, of what we call homosexuality, which is really a fetish,
01:38:09.000 is better described as a fetish experience by a straight man.
01:38:16.000 I'll tell you what I mean by that.
01:38:18.000 Let's say you're born straight.
01:38:21.000 There's definitely a genetic component to sexual orientation, right?
01:38:25.000 It's getting back to where we started, like how much is genetic, how much is experiential.
01:38:31.000 So just as a seven-year-old boy can have an experience with, you know, seeing someone with pantyhose or, you know, whatever, he's under the table and his mom's friend comes and she's got red high-heeled shoes and he's got a hard-on and so he associates the two.
01:38:48.000 What if that seven-year-old boy has an experience with another boy or with a man or an adolescent or whatever, right?
01:38:56.000 So this guy sucks his dick or whatever it is.
01:38:59.000 And so he's got this very deep association between having a man sucking his dick and this incredible pleasure.
01:39:08.000 Even though he's straight, he's got that association.
01:39:11.000 So for the rest of his life, he could have that association in the same way that another boy has the association with pantyhose or high heeled shoes or whatever.
01:39:20.000 It's a fetish.
01:39:22.000 It's not his orientation.
01:39:24.000 So then what you've got is a straight guy.
01:39:28.000 Who has a fetish for getting a blowjob from a man.
01:39:31.000 So every once in a while he goes down to the truck stop and has this experience.
01:39:35.000 He gets caught.
01:39:37.000 Everyone says, oh, you're a closeted gay man.
01:39:40.000 And he's thinking, I don't think I am.
01:39:44.000 But I don't know what the fuck I am.
01:39:45.000 All I know is I love my wife.
01:39:47.000 I have sex with my wife.
01:39:49.000 I could never fall in love with a man.
01:39:53.000 I never think about having a relationship with a man.
01:39:55.000 But man, I love it when this guy with a mustache sucks my dick.
01:39:59.000 I've never really wanted to write about this.
01:40:02.000 And the reason is that I think it could play into the hands of the Christians who are arguing that you can pray the gay away.
01:40:12.000 You see what I mean?
01:40:13.000 Right.
01:40:13.000 Because in a case like that, I think there could be a therapeutic...
01:40:20.000 Solution?
01:40:21.000 Well, I don't know.
01:40:22.000 Solution or just a therapeutic treatment that could have some value.
01:40:27.000 But, I mean, in my case, I would never say that there's a sickness there.
01:40:31.000 I would just say it's a fetish.
01:40:32.000 Like, some people are into latex.
01:40:33.000 You're into that, you know?
01:40:35.000 Totally makes sense.
01:40:36.000 I mean, it's...
01:40:38.000 There are weird things that people get sort of bonded to.
01:40:43.000 Yeah.
01:40:43.000 That their sexuality gets bonded to.
01:40:45.000 Always men.
01:40:46.000 Yeah.
01:40:47.000 Almost never women.
01:40:48.000 You'll never find a woman who can't come, you know, if she's not sniffing latex.
01:40:55.000 That's something about rubber.
01:40:57.000 I have a friend who's a dominatrix.
01:41:00.000 She's more than a dominatrix.
01:41:01.000 She's a humiliatrix.
01:41:03.000 Humiliatrix.
01:41:04.000 Humiliatrix.
01:41:04.000 Take it to the next level.
01:41:06.000 She specializes in dudes who get off on being humiliated, and I had her on the podcast.
01:41:11.000 She's really smart, really interesting, and it's not her thing.
01:41:15.000 She just stumbled into this.
01:41:16.000 So it's just a business for her.
01:41:18.000 It's a business.
01:41:18.000 She's like Shell Oil of dick slapping.
01:41:21.000 We hear it, humiliatrix.
01:41:24.000 We suck dick not because we want to.
01:41:27.000 But she never meets the dudes.
01:41:30.000 It's all internet.
01:41:32.000 One of the best things about it is she's got phone lines dedicated to guys who get off on being ignored.
01:41:42.000 So the phone rings.
01:41:44.000 She picks it up.
01:41:45.000 Oh yeah, okay, I'll be right back.
01:41:47.000 Puts the phone down.
01:41:48.000 It goes about her day and it's like clocking up.
01:41:51.000 That is hilarious.
01:41:51.000 Yeah.
01:41:53.000 Guys who get off on being ignored by a pretty girl.
01:41:57.000 So they seek.
01:41:58.000 To be ignored by a professional ignorer.
01:42:00.000 She sells her socks, her panties, her old tennis shoes, her toenail clippings, her hair, her salon.
01:42:09.000 The way she got into it was she was living in Japan and she was like 17 or something and she was corresponding with some guy online and he was trying to pick her up and she wasn't into it but he was funny so she corresponded with him.
01:42:25.000 And at one point, she said, I gotta go take a piss.
01:42:28.000 And he said, oh, don't throw it away.
01:42:29.000 Put it in a bottle.
01:42:30.000 I'll buy it from you.
01:42:31.000 And she's like, come on, you're full of shit.
01:42:33.000 And he's like, no, seriously.
01:42:35.000 Trust me, I will.
01:42:36.000 I'll, you know, 200 bucks or whatever.
01:42:38.000 So she puts, she pisses in a bottle and she sends it.
01:42:41.000 And there's 200 bucks shows up in her account.
01:42:43.000 And she's like, huh, this is interesting.
01:42:47.000 There must be more guys like this out there.
01:42:50.000 So she starts, you know, investigating it and she finds that the world is full of these dudes.
01:42:57.000 Seriously, check her out.
01:42:58.000 Sierra Lynch.
01:43:00.000 I'm going to write her name down.
01:43:01.000 Check out her site.
01:43:02.000 She's beautiful.
01:43:03.000 Where does she live?
01:43:04.000 She lives in Portland.
01:43:05.000 But she spells it C-E-A-R-A. Sierra Lynch.
01:43:12.000 And yeah, she's got guys.
01:43:14.000 She's been on...
01:43:15.000 She was on a show on...
01:43:19.000 HBO recently.
01:43:21.000 Some sex show.
01:43:22.000 I was on it, too.
01:43:24.000 She's been profiled.
01:43:25.000 She's a public figure.
01:43:27.000 That's hilarious.
01:43:28.000 Duncan used to know a girl who would...
01:43:30.000 There she is.
01:43:31.000 Ta-da!
01:43:32.000 Duncan used to know a girl.
01:43:34.000 Humiliatrix extraordinaire.
01:43:36.000 Congratulations, young lady.
01:43:38.000 You found an excellent niche or niche as it were.
01:43:42.000 Duncan knew a girl who would sell her socks and she would wear them for days at a time to get them like really stinky and then she would sell them to dudes and you know like a couple hundred bucks at a time so like that was her thing she would just be wearing socks all the time and then sending them to people.
01:43:57.000 That's a good gig.
01:43:59.000 Getting paid for doing what you're doing anyway, you know?
01:44:02.000 I guess.
01:44:03.000 I don't know.
01:44:04.000 There's just something weird about the idea of being connected to these people that are so fucked up they want your stinky socks.
01:44:11.000 Yeah.
01:44:12.000 Yeah, although as, you know, as things go, I mean, getting back to fetishes, you know, it's a relatively harmless, harmless thing, you know?
01:44:20.000 And the fact that now people can engage these things in a more or less open way.
01:44:28.000 Yeah.
01:44:28.000 I mean, what worries me with her is she was telling me, like, there are guys who really get off on being blackmailed.
01:44:34.000 Yeah.
01:44:38.000 So these guys would give her like all their bank account numbers and passwords.
01:44:44.000 And then they would send her photos of like, you know, like me with a dildo up my ass.
01:44:52.000 And now her job is to threaten to tell the wife.
01:44:57.000 Uh, you know, I'm gonna tell your wife if you don't, like, give me $500.
01:45:01.000 And, oh, no, please don't tell my wife.
01:45:03.000 And you gotta go through this whole thing.
01:45:07.000 And I mean, it's kind of crazy, you know?
01:45:09.000 It's very crazy.
01:45:10.000 And I said to her, like, you know, well, and she said, like, I never, you know, I don't contact wives, because they haven't agreed to participate in this.
01:45:17.000 I'm not gonna do that.
01:45:18.000 Well, that's very ethical of her.
01:45:19.000 Oh, she has to be ethical.
01:45:21.000 She's a professional.
01:45:21.000 She's a pro.
01:45:23.000 But I said to her, well, like, what about the bank account?
01:45:26.000 She's like, no, I would never, you know, I don't, I don't, that would be a crime, even if the guy gave it to me.
01:45:30.000 I said, yeah, but what if your email gets hacked?
01:45:33.000 And she's like, oh, hadn't thought of that.
01:45:36.000 Yeah, some Russian kid hacks that email.
01:45:39.000 That's a lot of stuff there.
01:45:41.000 Wow, that's an interesting thing.
01:45:42.000 Well, maybe the guy has a separate humiliation bank account.
01:45:46.000 I hope so.
01:45:48.000 Yeah, I mean, God, I mean, but to get the real rush, you'd have to give her your real bank account.
01:45:53.000 Yeah.
01:45:53.000 To get the real full, like, fuck, I could be ruining my life.
01:45:57.000 I know another woman who specializes in kicking dudes in the balls.
01:46:00.000 I've seen that.
01:46:02.000 I've seen girls step on them, like step on guys' balls, like high-heel shoes, stomp on them.
01:46:09.000 You could lose a ball like that, by the way.
01:46:11.000 Yeah.
01:46:11.000 Super easy.
01:46:12.000 Yeah, I would think so.
01:46:14.000 Oh, God, that's so terrifying.
01:46:16.000 I'm so boring.
01:46:17.000 I mean, I spend time with all these, like, really kinky people, but, like, I'm so dull.
01:46:22.000 Sex, sex, sex.
01:46:23.000 Basic, you know.
01:46:24.000 Yeah.
01:46:24.000 Well, you're not fucked up.
01:46:25.000 That's what it is.
01:46:27.000 Sorry to tell you.
01:46:28.000 Not yet.
01:46:29.000 But it goes back to what we're saying about people being sexually malleable.
01:46:33.000 What do you think that is?
01:46:34.000 Is it because people couldn't have like a very rigid, or men rather, couldn't have a rigid idea of what's sexually attractive because if they did, if their standards were too high, then they wouldn't reproduce.
01:46:44.000 And so in the times of demanding, you know, what we're like...
01:46:50.000 John Marco Allegro, who was one of the lead scholars that was deciphering the Dead Sea Scrolls, he wrote this book called The Sacred Mushroom and the Cross.
01:47:00.000 I've read that.
01:47:01.000 It's a great book.
01:47:03.000 It was bought up by the Catholic Church, actually.
01:47:08.000 For a while, you could only find it in used form.
01:47:13.000 But now Jan Ervin has republished it.
01:47:15.000 You can get it again.
01:47:17.000 And he wrote another one called Sacred Mushroom and the Cross and something, Dead Sea Scrolls and the Christian Myth.
01:47:29.000 And it's essentially about what the, it's his, after studying the Dead Sea Scrolls for 14 years, it's his interpretation that what Christianity was really all about was the consumption of psychedelic mushrooms and fertility cults.
01:47:46.000 And that fertility back then was extremely important.
01:47:50.000 It was extremely important to breed.
01:47:52.000 Because we didn't have this luxury that we have today of, like, people say, oh, is your girl on the pill?
01:47:57.000 Man, I got her pregnant.
01:47:58.000 Fuck, what do I do?
01:47:59.000 Like, people wanted to get people pregnant.
01:48:00.000 Because the human population was not guaranteed.
01:48:03.000 Like, there was a very real possibility that you would come into a village that was empty.
01:48:07.000 Because everybody died.
01:48:09.000 They died of plague or they were invaded or whatever the fuck it was like they didn't have enough people and now there's no one and your name doesn't pass on so that this was like a real possibility so people is the idea of being sexually malleable that people can adapt to almost anything to become attracted to just make sure that they are attracted to something That they can come in something and make a person,
01:48:34.000 whether it's overweight women or skinny women or this or that, that it can move around and that occasionally it gets imprinted that this is like the thing that you're really into.
01:48:44.000 And that in times of great excess, when people are slovenly and like today, like this idea that a guy gets a fetish off being blackmailed, like what is that?
01:48:55.000 That's a guy with too much fucking free time.
01:48:57.000 I mean, clearly.
01:48:58.000 Too much money, too.
01:48:58.000 Yeah, too much money, too much free time.
01:49:00.000 He's not starving to death.
01:49:01.000 That's not a guy who's out there picking mushrooms trying to find something edible to eat.
01:49:04.000 No, this is a guy that's like sitting around trying to figure out a way to occupy his fucked up mind because, you know, it's too easy to just live.
01:49:13.000 Like, he doesn't have real survival concerns.
01:49:16.000 Yeah.
01:49:17.000 Yeah, well, we've eroticized power, which ties into that.
01:49:23.000 I've read that one source of clientele for a lot of these sorts of women is Muslim dudes who want to be forced to eat pork.
01:49:36.000 They get an erotic charge from that.
01:49:40.000 Makes sense.
01:49:41.000 It makes sense, right?
01:49:42.000 It totally makes sense.
01:49:43.000 I mean, I often think, getting back to my boring sexuality, I think part of the reason that I'm not kinky is that I'm not repressed.
01:49:55.000 Right.
01:49:55.000 And in a way, it's like a steam engine.
01:49:58.000 If you don't have that container and build up the pressure...
01:50:05.000 Yeah.
01:50:09.000 Yeah.
01:50:09.000 Yeah.
01:50:21.000 Is crazy exciting to you though?
01:50:23.000 Because crazy is not exciting to me.
01:50:25.000 The humiliatrix, I absolutely believe her.
01:50:29.000 I believe that she has a series of guys that want her to shit in their face or whatever the hell it is.
01:50:34.000 But to me, it's just silly.
01:50:37.000 I don't get it.
01:50:39.000 But are those guys having stronger orgasms than you and me?
01:50:44.000 It could be.
01:50:45.000 At what cost?
01:50:47.000 That's it.
01:50:48.000 They steal your bank account and shit in your face, and you just cum like a fucking wildcat.
01:50:53.000 I'm broke!
01:50:58.000 I mean, maybe, but it's that fucking brief experience of cumming.
01:51:04.000 You know, I mean, how much...
01:51:06.000 All you have to do if you want to cum really hard is just not cum for a while.
01:51:10.000 Right.
01:51:11.000 I mean, you don't really need to have someone kick you in the balls or shit in your hair.
01:51:16.000 There's other things that you can do.
01:51:18.000 All you have to do is just, like, go without...
01:51:20.000 You know, water tastes amazing when you haven't had any water for a while.
01:51:24.000 That's true.
01:51:25.000 When you haven't had water for a while, God, it's the greatest thing in the world.
01:51:29.000 But when you have it all the time, it becomes normal and you don't even want it.
01:51:31.000 You want a Diet Coke.
01:51:32.000 Yeah.
01:51:33.000 But if you're starving or dying of thirst, rather, you would just love to get that water in your mouth.
01:51:39.000 And I think that's kind of the same thing with sex.
01:51:42.000 And that's where I think a lot of perverts fuck themselves over, because they're just jacking off all day until they get blisters on their dick, and then they have to find a new way to hold their dick where it doesn't hurt as much.
01:51:51.000 And when you do cum, you're chasing the dragon.
01:51:55.000 It doesn't feel good anymore.
01:51:56.000 But if you could just take a few weeks off, you would be so horny that when you did cum, your ears would ring.
01:52:03.000 You'd be like, whoa!
01:52:05.000 But you can't hold off long enough.
01:52:08.000 And if you hold off long enough, then you get to the promised land, which is Wet Dreams.
01:52:14.000 Oh, yeah.
01:52:15.000 I can get those after three days.
01:52:17.000 Seriously?
01:52:18.000 Yeah, three days of no sex.
01:52:20.000 Man, your testosterone levels must be through the roof.
01:52:22.000 I put it in there.
01:52:23.000 Do you?
01:52:23.000 Yeah.
01:52:24.000 I make sure they're through the roof.
01:52:26.000 I add it.
01:52:27.000 Oh, I should probably try that now that I'm a creep.
01:52:30.000 Yeah, you are a creep.
01:52:31.000 Once you reach creep age, what you need is tea.
01:52:34.000 Well, people do, you know, it's like a source of shame for some people.
01:52:38.000 They don't want to admit that.
01:52:39.000 Like testosterone replacement therapy is like a shameful thing.
01:52:43.000 Like people have asked me and then I told them, I go, yeah, yeah, I take testosterone.
01:52:46.000 And they go like, what?
01:52:48.000 You just tell me?
01:52:49.000 You're just admitting it?
01:52:50.000 It's a chemical component of your body.
01:52:53.000 It's like if your body was lacking in blood and you could just simply add blood to it, you'd feel better.
01:52:58.000 Wouldn't you do that?
01:53:00.000 But for whatever reason, testosterone is associated with being a man.
01:53:03.000 I also have hypothyroidism.
01:53:06.000 It's called Hashimoto's disease.
01:53:08.000 It's genetic.
01:53:09.000 My mom has it.
01:53:10.000 And other people in my family have it.
01:53:13.000 So I take this stuff called Armour Thyroid.
01:53:16.000 It's formulated from pig's thyroid.
01:53:18.000 And it's great.
01:53:19.000 It makes me feel way better.
01:53:20.000 But I was having some real problems before I was taken.
01:53:22.000 I get these crazy headaches at night, like my head was pounding.
01:53:25.000 Or I thought it was something really wrong with me.
01:53:27.000 And I would fall asleep.
01:53:29.000 When I would fall asleep, it was like I got shot with a tranquilizer dart.
01:53:32.000 Like...
01:53:33.000 Like at the end of the day, I was just so wiped out.
01:53:35.000 I couldn't figure out what it was.
01:53:37.000 And so while I was on Fear Factor, I had some real issue with it.
01:53:41.000 Like my fucking headaches would be crazy.
01:53:44.000 I was so tired at the end of the day.
01:53:46.000 And then I got my blood test done.
01:53:48.000 But I tell people that I take thyroid medication and nobody would bat an eye.
01:53:53.000 Like, oh, you replace your thyroid hormone.
01:53:55.000 Well, that's logical.
01:53:56.000 But you tell people that you replace your testosterone, and they're like, well, what the fuck are you doing?
01:54:00.000 Do you have to?
01:54:01.000 No, I definitely don't have to.
01:54:02.000 If I stop doing it, I will have less testosterone than I have now, but I won't feel as good.
01:54:07.000 It's that simple.
01:54:09.000 It's up to you to not abuse it, though.
01:54:11.000 Because if you abuse it, there are guys, especially some MMA fighters have tested these hyperhuman levels that are not even safe.
01:54:19.000 They're really actually kind of dangerous.
01:54:21.000 Because the idea is that more is better and just keep going harder and harder.
01:54:25.000 But you really shouldn't do that because then you could develop anxiety.
01:54:28.000 There's a lot of different things that happen when you do it.
01:54:30.000 Like rage and stuff?
01:54:31.000 You can definitely get rage.
01:54:33.000 You definitely get more upset at things more easily.
01:54:36.000 But a lot of people, they develop actual anxiety.
01:54:39.000 You have anxiety attacks from having an excess of testosterone.
01:54:45.000 You start getting paranoid, and you can get weirded out about things.
01:54:48.000 It's just a matter of going to an ethical doctor that really understands what they're doing, and then make sure you're not taking too much of it.
01:54:56.000 You're doing it right, and you just want to stay within a healthy, consistent standard, and you'll just feel better.
01:55:02.000 Your immune system will function better, but people don't like to talk about it because you have to admit that somehow or another you needed that.
01:55:10.000 You have to admit that you're aging.
01:55:12.000 Which is shameful, again.
01:55:14.000 It's amazing.
01:55:16.000 And you're taking it not to combat a disease, you're taking it to feel better, which is pleasure, which is shameful.
01:55:24.000 Shameful pleasure, dirty pleasure.
01:55:26.000 Oh, you want to feel good all the time?
01:55:27.000 What's wrong with you?
01:55:28.000 Well, that's my issue with marijuana, too.
01:55:30.000 You know, I tell people, like, people say, well, why do you need pot?
01:55:32.000 Yeah.
01:55:49.000 I love how the word need comes in.
01:55:52.000 Yeah, why do you need it, bro?
01:55:53.000 I don't need weed to have fun.
01:55:55.000 Who the fuck said anyone needed anything here?
01:55:58.000 I don't even need toothpaste.
01:56:00.000 Moralistic bullshit.
01:56:01.000 If I don't use toothpaste, my teeth will be less clean, but I don't need it.
01:56:06.000 It's weird.
01:56:07.000 We're weird, man.
01:56:09.000 We're weird and also that we don't want to factor in our own mortality.
01:56:13.000 We don't want to address it.
01:56:15.000 We don't want to admit it.
01:56:16.000 So anything that you're doing to mitigate that is a weakness.
01:56:20.000 Anything you're doing to combat anti-aging is just vanity.
01:56:24.000 Well, I guarantee you I have more energy because of it.
01:56:28.000 I know I do.
01:56:29.000 I know I feel better.
01:56:30.000 I can get more things done, and my body works more efficiently.
01:56:34.000 Especially someone like me that enjoys doing things that are physically active, like martial arts.
01:56:39.000 Right.
01:56:40.000 Jiu-jitsu.
01:56:40.000 Without the testosterone, without growth hormone and thyroid hormone and all these different hormones that are functioning at their optimum levels, your body's just not going to work as well.
01:56:49.000 It's like having a race car that you don't take care of the spark plugs.
01:56:52.000 You don't replace the oil.
01:56:54.000 You just let it drive it until that fucking engine seizes up and then you're done.
01:56:58.000 That's nature.
01:56:59.000 That's nature.
01:57:00.000 Yeah.
01:57:00.000 But that's not nature, because why are we getting vaccinated then?
01:57:04.000 Why are we taking vitamins then?
01:57:06.000 Why am I going to the doctor and getting checkups?
01:57:08.000 Why don't I just let cancer eat my body?
01:57:10.000 Why get chemo?
01:57:11.000 It's just natural.
01:57:13.000 We have weird ideas of what you should...
01:57:16.000 All those weird ideas are not based on critical thinking and objective analysis.
01:57:21.000 They're just based on the standards that somehow or another someone else has set forth.
01:57:25.000 Chevron.
01:57:27.000 Shell, you were born to work hard.
01:57:31.000 Because you were born to, you actor.
01:57:32.000 Well, I mean, you know, same thing with like these sex pills, like now the female Viagra and stuff.
01:57:38.000 It's bad.
01:57:39.000 It's bad for you.
01:57:39.000 Yeah.
01:57:40.000 Well, it doesn't work either because of what we're saying.
01:57:43.000 No, because of what we were talking about earlier, the plasticity, that women's sexuality isn't about blood flow.
01:57:51.000 Right?
01:57:52.000 Right.
01:57:52.000 Men, if you make your dick hard, you're horny because it engages nerve endings and, you know, like, well, my dick's hard.
01:58:01.000 I gotta fuck something, you know?
01:58:03.000 Well, even when guys get, like, a pee-boner, like when guys, like, if women don't know this, when men have to urinate and you wake up in the middle of the morning and your dick is hard, it's not because you're horny a lot of the times, it's because you have to pee.
01:58:16.000 It's morning wood.
01:58:17.000 Yeah, and that's what morning wood is, but you can use that morning wood Like you could use any regular old boner.
01:58:24.000 So when a guy wakes up and he has a boner, oftentimes he's like, well, I don't want to waste that.
01:58:30.000 I got a hammer.
01:58:31.000 That looks like a nail.
01:58:33.000 It becomes like, this looks like a thing to use right here.
01:58:36.000 Excellent.
01:58:37.000 Well, you have, on average, three erections per night if you sleep eight hours.
01:58:42.000 Really?
01:58:43.000 So while you're sleeping, you're getting boners.
01:58:45.000 Yeah, and that's one of the ways they test to see if your impotence is psychological or physiological.
01:58:51.000 They'll put like a little piece of paper tape on your dick, and in the morning, if the tape is torn, It means you had an erection at night, so it means your blood flow is fine.
01:59:02.000 It's a head thing.
01:59:03.000 Wow, how weird.
01:59:05.000 You have to tie a ribbon around your dick to see if you have an opening ceremony in the middle of the night.
01:59:10.000 For the hostages.
01:59:12.000 How strange.
01:59:14.000 What a strange thing.
01:59:16.000 Sex is weird.
01:59:16.000 I mean, you asked a question earlier about the, you know, what's the purpose of the fetish generation, you know, module in the male brain and all that.
01:59:27.000 And I was thinking, well, two things.
01:59:30.000 One, in Sex at Dawn, we talked about animals, because this appears to be not only a human thing, but common to male mammals as well of other species.
01:59:42.000 There was one experiment where this guy...
01:59:45.000 I think it was in Scotland, took all the, he had a herd of sheep and a herd of goats.
01:59:52.000 And one year he took all the babies and he put them with the other species.
01:59:57.000 So now all the baby goats are living with the sheep and all the baby sheep are living with the goats.
02:00:02.000 And he let them live with that species till they reach sexual maturity.
02:00:07.000 At which point they were having sex with the...
02:00:09.000 So the goats are having sex with the sheep and the sheep are having sex with the goats, right?
02:00:14.000 Then he takes them and puts them back with their own species.
02:00:17.000 Okay?
02:00:18.000 And what happened was the females were like, all right, whatever.
02:00:23.000 So now the female sheep are having sex with the male sheep, right?
02:00:27.000 They were switched back.
02:00:28.000 But the males refused.
02:00:30.000 Okay?
02:00:31.000 The males who came, you know, who had been raised with the other species were like, no, I'm a goat fucker.
02:00:36.000 Sorry.
02:00:37.000 Not interested.
02:00:38.000 Because they had been imprinted.
02:00:40.000 Wow.
02:00:41.000 So the females just went with what was there.
02:00:43.000 The males were like, no, no, that's not me.
02:00:46.000 Sorry.
02:00:46.000 That's really interesting.
02:00:48.000 Yeah.
02:00:48.000 That's really interesting.
02:00:49.000 And the testosterone, we also talked about that.
02:00:52.000 I remember there were some interviews with a guy.
02:00:55.000 There was one that was a guy who had a disease where his body suddenly stopped making testosterone.
02:01:01.000 And he described, you know, eventually he was diagnosed and started taking supplements, but he described it and it was like all...
02:01:11.000 It wasn't about sex.
02:01:12.000 It was all pleasure stopped.
02:01:15.000 It was like, I didn't give a shit about music.
02:01:17.000 I didn't give a shit about food.
02:01:19.000 I didn't give a shit about relationships.
02:01:21.000 I just was like blasé about everything.
02:01:24.000 And then there was another one where we quoted a...
02:01:29.000 Someone who was going through a sex change from female to male, and she talked about, like, when she was a woman, she was a lesbian, and she lived in Manhattan, and she was talking about, like, yeah, you know, I'd be on the subway, and I'd see an attractive woman,
02:01:45.000 and I'd think, I wonder what she's like, and what kind of food she's into, and what she's reading, and you know.
02:01:51.000 And then when she was transitioning to male, she started taking testosterone.
02:01:55.000 And she said, once I started taking testosterone, I'd be on the subway and I'd see the same kind of woman.
02:02:00.000 And I'd just be like, tits, cunt, ass, cunt.
02:02:07.000 And she said, it really gave me insight and compassion for adolescent boys.
02:02:14.000 Chaz Bono said that.
02:02:16.000 Oh, really?
02:02:16.000 Yeah, she said that when, well, he said that when he transitioned from being female to male, that he understands it now.
02:02:24.000 Yeah.
02:02:24.000 For the longest time, like, never understood men, and it was just alien to him, and then once he started taking testosterone, he was like, oh, this is why guys are so fucking creepy.
02:02:33.000 It's like they're just overwhelmed by this demon inside of them, who we call testosterone, that you require in order to be happy and to enjoy anything in life.
02:02:41.000 That's one of the things that happens to men with traumatic brain injuries, is the pituitary gland gets damaged, they stop producing testosterone, they get deeply depressed.
02:02:50.000 And one of the best ways to mitigate that are supplementing them with testosterone.
02:02:55.000 Like that cures a lot of the depression that a lot of these soldiers go through when they come back from the war.
02:03:01.000 This traumatic brain injury just disrupts the pituitary's ability to function.
02:03:06.000 You know, one of the...
02:03:08.000 When you start a typical situation, you get a guy like my age, right?
02:03:14.000 Mid-50s, been married a long time, monogamous.
02:03:18.000 Typical midlife crisis, has sex with his secretary, and then suddenly it's like, holy shit, you know, I'm in love, right?
02:03:26.000 Why does he think he's in love?
02:03:28.000 Because food tastes better, the colors are brighter, everything's more interesting.
02:03:34.000 Why is that?
02:03:34.000 Because his testosterone levels have gone up.
02:03:36.000 One of the only things you can do without supplements to increase testosterone is have sex with a new woman.
02:03:42.000 Your body responds to you having sex with a new woman with a spike in testosterone production.
02:03:47.000 So he's got this elevated T levels.
02:03:50.000 He thinks he's in love.
02:03:52.000 He's not in love.
02:03:53.000 He's just fucking someone new for the first time in 20 years.
02:03:56.000 Wow.
02:03:56.000 So he divorces his wife because now he's in love with this woman who seems to have the keys to the fucking universe.
02:04:01.000 That wears off in a couple of years.
02:04:03.000 And now he's, you know, even more fucked than he was before.
02:04:07.000 Well, that's also the key to this whole midlife crisis thing where guys buy sports cars.
02:04:12.000 Yeah, risk.
02:04:13.000 Well, also sports cars.
02:04:15.000 Like, literally driving a sports car elevates your testosterone, especially when you're quote-unquote peacocking.
02:04:22.000 Especially if Jay Leno's driving and you're in the passenger seat.
02:04:25.000 That was a good episode, actually.
02:04:27.000 But when you're driving around people, especially potential young mates, females that could see you, your testosterone rises when you're in this car.
02:04:36.000 Right.
02:04:37.000 And even talking and flirting with potential young girls that you may, you know, one day have sex with, just being around them raises your testosterone.
02:04:47.000 Yeah.
02:04:47.000 Just the possibility.
02:04:49.000 Mm-hmm.
02:04:49.000 Yeah.
02:04:49.000 Yeah.
02:04:50.000 Well, I wonder, getting back to Sierra, I wonder if some of those guys who are buying her panties...
02:04:57.000 If they're not getting testosterone surges.
02:04:59.000 Probably.
02:05:01.000 Something's happening, right?
02:05:02.000 There's getting some kind of dopamine, serotonin, some sort of a rush.
02:05:06.000 Yeah, definitely.
02:05:07.000 Dirty panties.
02:05:09.000 Hey, have you ever heard of fecal transplants?
02:05:11.000 Yes.
02:05:12.000 Yeah, that sort of goes back to what we were talking about earlier.
02:05:15.000 The biological thing.
02:05:16.000 Really interesting.
02:05:17.000 Well, it's fascinating how many things it cures and how many people have real bowel issues.
02:05:21.000 30,000 people die from C. difficile infestation every year.
02:05:25.000 And with fecal transplant, 98% recovery rate within hours.
02:05:32.000 Nuts.
02:05:32.000 It's crazy.
02:05:33.000 Within hours.
02:05:34.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:05:34.000 Yeah, the biological organism, the idea of the biological organism being an individual has been completely debunked.
02:05:41.000 And that's what probiotics are all about.
02:05:43.000 I'm a big fan of probiotics.
02:05:45.000 I drink, where is it?
02:05:47.000 Must have left it in my car.
02:05:48.000 I drink kombucha every day.
02:05:51.000 I drink that shit like water.
02:05:52.000 I drink two or three of them a day.
02:05:54.000 Well, I'm a big fan.
02:05:55.000 I mean, I spent a lot of my younger years traveling, you know, in Central America and Asia and stuff.
02:06:02.000 And, like, when I'm in America, I put on weight.
02:06:05.000 Now, part of it's that, you know, the food, and I drink beer, probably more beer.
02:06:10.000 You know, here you get a beer, it's a pint.
02:06:12.000 In Spain, you get a beer, it's about half a pint.
02:06:14.000 Really?
02:06:14.000 Yeah, it's a caña.
02:06:16.000 Again, Spain, it's just a different vibe.
02:06:18.000 Servings of everything are smaller.
02:06:20.000 Hmm.
02:06:21.000 Higher quality, like really good and tasty, but small.
02:06:25.000 So you eat more slowly.
02:06:26.000 And Europe is all about grass-fed food, too.
02:06:28.000 Oh, yeah.
02:06:28.000 You don't get that corn-fed steak.
02:06:30.000 No fucking Monsanto, GMOs, you know, that whole thing.
02:06:33.000 They're kicked out of a lot of countries.
02:06:36.000 But yeah, and pesticides.
02:06:38.000 A friend of mine's in the wine importation business.
02:06:42.000 He distributes organic wines.
02:06:44.000 And he said he was in, I don't know if it was Spain or France, and he was like, you guys should get organic certified.
02:06:50.000 We could charge more.
02:06:51.000 And they're like, what are you talking about?
02:06:53.000 We would never put pesticides on our grapes.
02:06:57.000 That's crazy.
02:06:58.000 We don't need to say it.
02:07:00.000 Nobody would do that.
02:07:02.000 Right.
02:07:02.000 So it's a very different culture.
02:07:04.000 But I think that because the cheeses and the things are alive there, right?
02:07:09.000 Yes.
02:07:09.000 You can't import the ham, even.
02:07:11.000 You can't import Spanish.
02:07:14.000 I guess now they've changed it.
02:07:15.000 You can start.
02:07:17.000 But, yeah, food is alive.
02:07:19.000 So the microbiome is very different.
02:07:23.000 Yeah.
02:07:23.000 I go to India.
02:07:24.000 I lose weight quickly.
02:07:25.000 Part of it's because I have fucking dysentery.
02:07:27.000 Diarrhea.
02:07:30.000 The part of it is because you feel bad because everybody else is starving.
02:07:33.000 Yeah.
02:07:34.000 There was an article recently about gray market foods in New York City.
02:07:38.000 And I forget.
02:07:40.000 It was something I read online.
02:07:41.000 And it might have been from Dig.
02:07:43.000 See if you can find it on Dig.
02:07:44.000 I think it is from Dig.
02:07:45.000 That's where I get a lot of my interesting news stories.
02:07:48.000 But they were talking about this one particular type of cheese that is very difficult to get, and it's cured with cheese mites, like these mites.
02:07:59.000 And if the mites are of a certain number per cheese, it becomes illegal to import into America.
02:08:06.000 It's very sketchy, like how you do it.
02:08:08.000 Over in France or wherever the fuck they grow this cheese where it's really popular, it just gets fucking lousy with mites.
02:08:16.000 And that's where you get the real flavor of this cheese.
02:08:20.000 And it's like a nutty, sort of a sweet taste to this cheese.
02:08:24.000 And a lot of it is attributed to the fact that, first of all, They don't use homogenized or pasteurized milk.
02:08:30.000 They use raw milk when they make their cheese, which is the way they make the best cheese.
02:08:33.000 It keeps the enzymes in it.
02:08:35.000 And then they're not scared of all these funky organisms.
02:08:38.000 Yeah, this is it.
02:08:39.000 The gray market foods.
02:08:40.000 If you scroll down, you'll see that cheese.
02:08:43.000 It's sort of like an orange-looking weird fucking cheese.
02:08:47.000 That's it right there.
02:08:48.000 Oh, I've heard that.
02:08:49.000 Yeah, that stuff.
02:08:51.000 And if you make that a little larger so we can read it.
02:08:55.000 It looks really weird, but this guy was talking about how good it tasted.
02:08:59.000 See, it's the unique way they alter the aging process, the presence of mites.
02:09:05.000 FDA singled this cheese out as a potential public health hazard.
02:09:09.000 How do you say it?
02:09:11.000 Mimolet?
02:09:12.000 Mimolet.
02:09:13.000 Mimolet has been banned and made illegal for sale in the U.S. and indignant consumers staged protests.
02:09:23.000 Yeah, it looks cool.
02:09:24.000 I'd like to try a piece of that.
02:09:25.000 I've definitely had that, yeah.
02:09:27.000 One of the things we did on Fear Factor to make things more disgusting was we used really expensive cheese.
02:09:33.000 We mixed really expensive cheese in with some of the stuff to give it this horrible fucking rotting smell.
02:09:38.000 And there's an expensive cheese, what do they call a cheese place?
02:09:43.000 There's a name for one of those places.
02:09:45.000 I don't know what it's called.
02:09:47.000 But they had a cheese place in Beverly Hills, and so we used to send these people who worked for Fear Factor to Beverly Hills, to this super expensive cheese place, and buy this really expensive, hard-to-get cheese, and it stunk like death.
02:10:00.000 And we would pour that onto whatever the fuck they had to eat, and it would make them more repulsed.
02:10:05.000 Did you ever have, like, French people on?
02:10:07.000 No.
02:10:08.000 And they'd be like, ooh la la.
02:10:09.000 Well, Filipinos, I have a bunch of friends that are Filipino, and they would always be like, because we serve people balut, and balut is a chicken or a duck embryo.
02:10:20.000 It's like the full little embryos in there, and they'd eat it.
02:10:22.000 And they were like, we love that.
02:10:24.000 Like, get me on that show.
02:10:25.000 Yeah.
02:10:26.000 You ever have Anthony Bourdain on this show?
02:10:28.000 On this?
02:10:28.000 Yeah.
02:10:28.000 Yeah, really?
02:10:29.000 Yeah, that's cool.
02:10:30.000 I'd love to meet him sometime.
02:10:31.000 He's a great guy.
02:10:32.000 Yeah.
02:10:33.000 He's an interesting character.
02:10:35.000 He'll eat anything.
02:10:36.000 Yeah, well, he's gotten, like, super into jiu-jitsu to the point where he trains every day.
02:10:41.000 With Henzo.
02:10:42.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:10:43.000 Every day, sometimes twice a day.
02:10:45.000 Yeah, and his wife and his kid are doing it, too.
02:10:48.000 He's 58 years old.
02:10:49.000 He started at 58. Now he just earned his blue belt.
02:10:52.000 Oh, he just started recently?
02:10:53.000 Yeah, like within a year ago.
02:10:55.000 Oh, I thought this was a long-term thing with him.
02:10:57.000 No, no, it's really recent.
02:10:58.000 Really?
02:11:00.000 Aren't you risking getting hurt?
02:11:01.000 When you start something like that old?
02:11:03.000 Well, it depends on how you do it.
02:11:04.000 It depends on who you do it with.
02:11:06.000 But absolutely.
02:11:07.000 If you have bad training partners, you can definitely get hurt.
02:11:11.000 But you can definitely get hurt even with good training partners.
02:11:13.000 Because weird shit happens.
02:11:15.000 You roll over on an ankle.
02:11:16.000 You blow some tendons out in your knee.
02:11:18.000 You fuck up a disc in your back.
02:11:20.000 It's all potential.
02:11:21.000 It's definitely not...
02:11:23.000 It's not fucking video games.
02:11:25.000 It's real life.
02:11:26.000 It's definitely dangerous, especially for a guy who's 58, who has no background of athleticism at all, and all of a sudden starts at a very advanced age and becomes completely obsessed with it.
02:11:39.000 That's cool.
02:11:40.000 Yeah, it is cool.
02:11:41.000 His original show, that No Reservation show, really got me into the idea of food as an art form.
02:11:49.000 Because I just thought of food as being, oh, that's good.
02:11:52.000 Food's good.
02:11:52.000 This is good.
02:11:53.000 That place is good to eat at.
02:11:54.000 I didn't think of it as like, oh, this guy's making art that you taste.
02:11:59.000 When you eat a great meal, that experience, that sensual experience, that pleasurable experience is art.
02:12:07.000 It's like someone's art is giving you pleasure through your taste buds.
02:12:10.000 Yeah.
02:12:11.000 It's through smells and, you know, like when you have a really good meal, you smell it, you eat it.
02:12:15.000 Like there's an art to that.
02:12:16.000 I never really considered it that way until I watched his show.
02:12:19.000 And again, that's a very European approach to food.
02:12:22.000 You know, America, food is fuel.
02:12:24.000 Yeah.
02:12:25.000 Shove that sandwich down your throat and get back to work.
02:12:27.000 Yeah.
02:12:28.000 Not in Spain, man.
02:12:29.000 Or France or Italy.
02:12:31.000 Yeah.
02:12:32.000 I have a buddy who's an athlete and all he thinks about is food is fuel.
02:12:37.000 He goes, I don't even care what it tastes like.
02:12:38.000 I just eat it.
02:12:39.000 He goes, I just want food as fuel.
02:12:41.000 And I'm like, what?
02:12:43.000 Soylent.
02:12:43.000 You heard about that?
02:12:44.000 Well, Soylent Green.
02:12:46.000 Yeah, they named it after that.
02:12:48.000 I know.
02:12:48.000 What is it?
02:12:49.000 It's these guys in Silicon Valley who are coding, right?
02:12:52.000 And they're like, I just want to work 24 hours.
02:12:54.000 I don't want to stop and eat.
02:12:55.000 It's a waste of time.
02:12:56.000 And so they came up, they like developed this food source, this garp that you just like squeeze out of a tube and it's got everything you need.
02:13:06.000 Oh, wow.
02:13:08.000 Yeah.
02:13:08.000 Ugh.
02:13:09.000 Soylent.
02:13:10.000 How bizarre.
02:13:11.000 Okay, yeah.
02:13:12.000 So it's...
02:13:13.000 Yeah, you just like drink...
02:13:14.000 That can't be good for you, though.
02:13:16.000 And look at that.
02:13:17.000 29 bucks a month.
02:13:19.000 Modular...
02:13:19.000 Soy protein.
02:13:20.000 Oh, that's going to make you grow tits.
02:13:23.000 Exactly.
02:13:23.000 Vitamins and minerals.
02:13:25.000 Exactly.
02:13:25.000 Yeah.
02:13:26.000 Yeah, but what about...
02:13:26.000 Yeah, it's just weird.
02:13:28.000 Where's the pleasure?
02:13:28.000 There's no pleasure.
02:13:29.000 That stuff's nasty.
02:13:31.000 Yeah.
02:13:31.000 It's one thing if you're a fucking astronaut.
02:13:33.000 You've got to survive in the space station with stuff you squirt in your mouth, but...
02:13:37.000 This is like you have the abundance of the earth and you choose to squirt paste in your mouth instead?
02:13:43.000 Well, see, maybe this is part of, you know, this is this movement you were talking about, right?
02:13:48.000 Because getting us to eat Shit that doesn't take up space and we don't need clean air and we don't need healthy oceans.
02:13:59.000 That's in the interest of the technology.
02:14:03.000 If you see that that's where we're going, if you think that that's where we're going, then a lot of these things start to fall into place and make sense in a weird way.
02:14:12.000 I mean, I read the other day that the tuna stocks in the Pacific Ocean are down like 40% in the last 20 years.
02:14:20.000 That's incredible.
02:14:22.000 Did you ever see Jiro Dreams of Sushi?
02:14:24.000 You know what?
02:14:25.000 I've got it on.
02:14:26.000 Someone gave it to me.
02:14:27.000 I haven't seen it.
02:14:28.000 I resisted for a long time.
02:14:30.000 People kept telling me how great it was.
02:14:31.000 I'm like, whatever.
02:14:32.000 It's a fucking guy making sushi.
02:14:33.000 Who gives a shit?
02:14:34.000 But it's great.
02:14:35.000 It's really great.
02:14:36.000 And one of the things that they show in this movie is when he was young, what it would be like going to the fish market in Japan.
02:14:45.000 Just fucking stacks of tuna.
02:14:47.000 And the tuna was so abundant.
02:14:48.000 And then the overfishing has made a massive impact.
02:14:51.000 Yeah.
02:14:52.000 On the fish supplies.
02:14:54.000 Yeah.
02:14:54.000 We've literally...
02:14:55.000 I mean, look at how goddamn big the ocean is.
02:14:58.000 The fact that we put a dent in it at all is just shocking.
02:15:01.000 More than a dent.
02:15:02.000 Like, we're collapsing this shit.
02:15:03.000 Three quarters of the fucking Earth's surface is water.
02:15:06.000 That plastic island?
02:15:07.000 Yeah.
02:15:07.000 The size of Texas?
02:15:08.000 Yeah.
02:15:08.000 Like, what the fuck?
02:15:09.000 I think it's even bigger than that.
02:15:11.000 Really?
02:15:11.000 Yeah, and this kid has developed, I don't know if it's an actual functional machine, but he's developed some sort of a device to clean up the ocean.
02:15:21.000 Like a skimmer kind of thing.
02:15:22.000 Yeah, and suck the plastic out.
02:15:24.000 Well, you've got to think plastic, once it becomes a valuable resource, if someone figures out how to take it out of the ocean, if it was gold floating around out there, we would have a million ships that are fighting over this to try to get in.
02:15:36.000 Like, if Russia and the United States found gold Gold particles circling around at billions and trillions of dollars worth.
02:15:42.000 Boy, they couldn't wait to plant a flag in the middle of the ocean to suck all this gold out of the water.
02:15:47.000 Because it's plastic, we're like, I got plastic right here, dude.
02:15:51.000 I don't need the ocean plastic.
02:15:52.000 That's why you need the government, you know, because the government can create those artificial incentives.
02:15:57.000 Pay for Cobras.
02:15:59.000 Yeah.
02:16:00.000 Pay for plastic.
02:16:01.000 I think that's the government being a solution.
02:16:06.000 It's a beautiful idea, but it doesn't really work.
02:16:08.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:16:09.000 Well, it'd be nice if the government was completely altruistic and enlightened and they were just on the ball.
02:16:14.000 Well, see, here's the thing, okay?
02:16:15.000 Going back to what we were talking about earlier, if we had direct voting...
02:16:20.000 If they had an educated...
02:16:47.000 Decision-making process.
02:16:48.000 You really knew, like, well, what kind of a threat are we under?
02:16:52.000 How much military do we really need?
02:16:54.000 Because if we don't need any military at all, if there's no threat whatsoever, well, then that would be an appropriate way to respond.
02:17:01.000 But what if they couldn't tell us how much threat there really was?
02:17:04.000 And what if people had this idealistic idea of how the rest of the world functions, but meanwhile, there really is a need for the military?
02:17:11.000 Yeah.
02:17:12.000 I think the truth lies somewhere in the middle there.
02:17:14.000 I don't think that the world is this beautiful place that we need to not worry about at all and that we don't need any military.
02:17:21.000 That just doesn't...
02:17:21.000 I watch those ISIS videos on YouTube.
02:17:24.000 I just...
02:17:24.000 I'm not believing...
02:17:25.000 They're out there.
02:17:26.000 They're pretty nasty.
02:17:27.000 There's a lot of people out there that are fucking crazy.
02:17:29.000 There's a lot of nutty fucking people that are killing people and would love to kill more.
02:17:33.000 There's just always going to be that way.
02:17:35.000 And I think that...
02:17:37.000 Like, what we're talking about, I think there's a push and a pull in this life.
02:17:43.000 And I think, like, you know, we were talking about tides coming in and tides going out, populations dropping and then increasing.
02:17:49.000 I think there's a need for resistance in some ways.
02:17:52.000 And I think that there's almost a need for bad things.
02:17:56.000 In order to inspire good things, we have to see the evil of something like ISIS or something, you know, fill in the blank, Joseph Kony, the Congo dictators and evil warlords.
02:18:09.000 We need to see things like Idi Amin.
02:18:13.000 We need to see horrific things like Pol Pot.
02:18:15.000 We need to be aware of that in order to almost promote the opposite of it.
02:18:21.000 But what I would Argue is that every one of those things that you mentioned is a response to We're good to go.
02:19:01.000 Well, but Pol Pot is a response to evil that we're not often recognized as evil because it's coming from us, coming from our side.
02:19:10.000 So I just feel like everybody who does something really nasty, they think they're doing good.
02:19:18.000 You know what I mean?
02:19:18.000 Like, those guys in ISIS, they think they're good.
02:19:21.000 Right.
02:19:22.000 They're doing it for Allah.
02:19:23.000 Yeah.
02:19:24.000 Or they're doing it for, you know, in revenge for all the bombing or...
02:19:28.000 Right.
02:19:29.000 I mean, it's this process.
02:19:31.000 So I agree with you.
02:19:33.000 I mean, I'm not an anarchist and I'm not crazy.
02:19:37.000 So I do feel like, you know, you've got to be ready to fight to defend yourself.
02:19:41.000 But on the other hand, I sort of agree with, you know, the Gandhis and the Martin Luther King and that whole line, civil disobedience, Thoreau's great essay, that, like, the only way to really end violence is to just not participate in it.
02:19:56.000 Because the minute you participate in it, then it's this cycle.
02:19:59.000 It's true.
02:20:00.000 Yeah, it's unavoidable.
02:20:01.000 Yeah, I mean, that's sort of inarguable, really, right?
02:20:05.000 But if you do not participate and your loved ones are slaughtered before your eyes, then what?
02:20:12.000 Like, should you have acted to stop that from happening?
02:20:15.000 And is a certain amount of violence justified in order to promote a higher ethical and moral standard for the culture to eliminate people who don't abide by those things?
02:20:25.000 But you would have to have very strict Interpretations of this, and you'd have to have very strict rules of engagement, and we clearly don't have that.
02:20:33.000 Yeah, and I wonder if we ever did.
02:20:35.000 It feels like it was better, right?
02:20:38.000 Doesn't it?
02:20:38.000 Talking about police in the U.S. Before the war on drugs, it seems like cops were cool.
02:20:45.000 They weren't the enemy.
02:20:46.000 I thought that, too, but when you talk to cops, it seems like poverty and drugs And crime, they're kind of always together.
02:20:56.000 There's a great documentary that I'm watching right now, I think it's called The 7-5.
02:21:00.000 Nick DiPaolo told me about it.
02:21:02.000 He actually talked about it on Ari Shafir's podcast, and then I went and got it.
02:21:09.000 What is it called?
02:21:11.000 It's called The 7-5.
02:21:16.000 And it's all about this really corrupt precinct in New York City in the 1970s.
02:21:27.000 But that's it right there.
02:21:29.000 It's fucking incredible.
02:21:31.000 It's so goddamn crazy.
02:21:35.000 This guy, Michael Dowd, who I don't know his history.
02:21:39.000 After the documentary's over, I'm going to Google him and find out what his history was.
02:21:43.000 But he's hilarious.
02:21:45.000 He's out now, I guess, because he's wearing civilian clothes.
02:21:48.000 He's not a prisoner.
02:21:49.000 And he testified about all the corruption that he was involved in and all the shit that he was involved in.
02:21:55.000 And then they start reenacting it and talking about it in the documentary along with facts and different people and different players involved.
02:22:02.000 And you're like, what?
02:22:03.000 No!
02:22:03.000 Just completely out of control.
02:22:06.000 Just totally out of control.
02:22:08.000 Crime and corruption.
02:22:09.000 And drugs.
02:22:11.000 So this is pre-war on drugs.
02:22:13.000 This is 1970s.
02:22:14.000 And it's just, I guess, kind of pre-war on drugs.
02:22:17.000 But Nixon sort of instituted a war on drugs.
02:22:20.000 They really instituted a war on drugs essentially when they passed the sweeping psychedelic acts of 1970s.
02:22:28.000 They made essentially everything psychoactive, illegal.
02:22:30.000 All the different mushrooms and LSD. Many people don't even know that.
02:22:35.000 But prior to 1970, all that stuff was legal.
02:22:38.000 That was one of the big issues with the tune-in, turn-out.
02:22:42.000 Timothy Leary's ideas was that it was legal.
02:22:46.000 And it was effective.
02:22:48.000 I mean, LSD, one of my favorite fun facts about LSD is that it was mostly used initially by psychiatrists to get insights into what it was like to be psychotic.
02:23:00.000 It was called a psychotomimetic.
02:23:03.000 In other words, it mimes the effects of psychosis.
02:23:07.000 So psychiatrists who dealt with psychotic people, as my wife does, would take LSD to like, oh, this is what it must be like to be them.
02:23:16.000 This is what it's like to hear voices and to lose touch with reality and to have all this overwhelming input.
02:23:22.000 And then they would go back to their patients with a greater compassion and understanding because they were like, I get it.
02:23:28.000 I know what you're going through.
02:23:30.000 That's fascinating.
02:23:31.000 Which is what a shaman does, right?
02:23:32.000 Like in shamanic practices, often it's the shaman who takes the drugs in order to change his or her consciousness to help you with whatever you're dealing with.
02:23:41.000 I mean, that's such a beautiful, sort of noble approach to healing.
02:23:47.000 I was driving yesterday and I drove past a short bus.
02:23:52.000 You know, those little buses where kids are troubled.
02:23:55.000 And there was this little boy.
02:23:57.000 He looked like he was Indian.
02:23:59.000 He looked like he was probably about nine or ten years old.
02:24:02.000 And he was staring at his hands.
02:24:05.000 And he was like moving his hands around and nodding and going back and forth.
02:24:10.000 He was like, at first I thought he was just playing.
02:24:12.000 You know, I thought it was just a kid in a bus who was bored.
02:24:15.000 And then as I was stuck there at the red light and I'm looking in this window and he was making noises and look at his face and he was moving his mouth around and he was just staring at his fingers.
02:24:27.000 And I was realizing like, oh, this kid's kind of fucked up.
02:24:30.000 There's something wrong with him.
02:24:31.000 And then I started thinking, it was only for whatever it takes for a light to change.
02:24:36.000 I was thinking, what is this guy seeing?
02:24:39.000 What is he seeing?
02:24:40.000 He's obviously not seeing things that normal people see or experiencing it in the same way that a quote-unquote normal person would.
02:24:47.000 He was moving his fingers around and staring at it and bouncing back and forth.
02:24:52.000 I'm like, what is this kid's trip?
02:24:53.000 What is this like for him?
02:24:55.000 Does he have some abnormal levels of neurochemicals?
02:24:59.000 What is causing him to have this experience?
02:25:02.000 What error in his circuitry?
02:25:04.000 What is it?
02:25:05.000 It was sad, but fascinating at the same time.
02:25:10.000 I don't know what he was suffering from, but it was clearly something.
02:25:14.000 Well, my Casilda, she's really interesting.
02:25:18.000 She loves psychotics.
02:25:20.000 That's her favorite population to work with, which, you know, psychotics are the people who have lost touch with reality.
02:25:27.000 So that kid may have been having a psychotic break or, you know, who knows what his thing is.
02:25:32.000 The first time I went into her office when I first met her, it was like one flew over the cuckoo's nest, right?
02:25:39.000 You know, like the double doors, the locking doors, the grates over the windows, high security.
02:25:45.000 People just like, you know, completely out of it.
02:25:49.000 And she loves those people because she says they're honest.
02:25:53.000 They're completely honest.
02:25:55.000 And they don't lie.
02:25:56.000 And when she meets them, and I've seen this happen in the street countless times at this point, she laughs.
02:26:05.000 She just laughs.
02:26:06.000 And they, because they know they're crazy.
02:26:09.000 There's part of them that's observing.
02:26:12.000 And they know they're acting ridiculous.
02:26:15.000 And they're like shouting, you know, something that they know isn't there, but they can't help it.
02:26:20.000 So she laughs in this very friendly, open way.
02:26:23.000 And they, like, oh, like, you get it.
02:26:28.000 They have this rapport.
02:26:29.000 It's a really beautiful thing I've never seen happen before.
02:26:32.000 But it's almost like a shamanic kind of connection she has with people.
02:26:37.000 But, you know, she sees kids like that, and she's just like, oh, I love those kids.
02:26:41.000 I love them.
02:26:42.000 She's not afraid of them at all.
02:26:43.000 She's afraid of normal people because we're all lying.
02:26:46.000 You know?
02:26:47.000 She's not good at...
02:26:48.000 It's a weird thing as a psychiatrist.
02:26:50.000 She's not good at seeing through bullshit.
02:26:53.000 She smells it, but she just, like, flees from it.
02:26:57.000 So she'd just rather have it where bullshit's not even an option.
02:27:00.000 It's not even on the table.
02:27:01.000 No.
02:27:01.000 She wants honesty.
02:27:02.000 And, like, if that means you're drooling and pissing down your leg, that's fine.
02:27:06.000 She doesn't care about that.
02:27:07.000 Lucky for me.
02:27:08.000 Boy, is she an outlier.
02:27:09.000 Shh.
02:27:10.000 She's a bit of a nutcase herself.
02:27:13.000 You know, in the best possible way.
02:27:15.000 I mean, I often think, like, someone who works in, you know, I'm a psychologist.
02:27:18.000 I spend a lot of time thinking about this stuff.
02:27:20.000 Someone who works in mental health is like a lifeguard, you know?
02:27:25.000 And 99% of us are the lifeguard who stands on the beach, and if you're in trouble, they'll, like, throw you a ring and wish you luck.
02:27:34.000 She dives in.
02:27:35.000 She goes right into the water, which is really dangerous and very rare.
02:27:40.000 And one of the reasons, honestly, she's been on a break for a few years, because it was blowing her mind there for a while.
02:27:46.000 Wow.
02:27:47.000 So it was good to be able to fuck off to America for a few years.
02:27:51.000 Yeah, I would imagine the burden of that would be pretty intense.
02:27:54.000 When I was fucking off my way through college, I shouldn't say fucking my way through, I didn't really do much fucking college, unfortunately.
02:28:02.000 But...
02:28:04.000 I went to UMass Boston, and I basically was wasting my time there.
02:28:10.000 I was only really going because I didn't want to be a loser.
02:28:13.000 I'd go there because I would tell people, oh, I'm going to UMass Boston, but wasting my time.
02:28:18.000 When I was trying to think of what would be a career that I would be interested in, psychology was the only thing that interested me because I thought, well, At the very least, at least I kind of understand how to manage my own mind because I obviously had a lot of troubles.
02:28:38.000 There was a lot going on in there that I was trying to always wrestle with inside my head and I felt like if at least I do that, I will have a greater understanding of my own problems.
02:28:50.000 But then I thought about it and be like, but I will be dealing with other people's fucking problems all the time.
02:28:55.000 And I just don't have the patience for that.
02:28:57.000 I admire people who do, but I'm not one of them.
02:29:00.000 I just...
02:29:01.000 I believe...
02:29:03.000 That that shit is contagious.
02:29:05.000 And I think that negative energy, laziness, slovenly behavior, all that stuff wears on you.
02:29:11.000 Because I think we imitate our atmosphere far more than we want to admit.
02:29:15.000 And we become in sync with our atmosphere far more than we care to admit.
02:29:20.000 And if you're around a lot of really positive, really healthy people, you tend to gravitate towards positive, healthy behavior.
02:29:26.000 But if you're around people that are constantly self-sabotaging, that becomes the standard.
02:29:31.000 That becomes the norm.
02:29:32.000 It's your culture.
02:29:33.000 Yes.
02:29:33.000 And it's not good for you.
02:29:35.000 And it's very, very frustrating to me.
02:29:37.000 When I'm around people that are sabotaging themselves, I get angry.
02:29:40.000 I get, well, you just fucking stop.
02:29:42.000 Get your fucking shit together.
02:29:44.000 Which is not really a healthy way to approach them.
02:29:48.000 Because it doesn't work.
02:29:49.000 You can't yell at someone and say, get your shit together.
02:29:51.000 But it's almost like impulsive because I know that it's creeping into my brain.
02:29:54.000 Like, you're spitting on me, you fuck.
02:29:56.000 You're sick.
02:29:57.000 You're sneezing with your mouth open.
02:30:00.000 You're coughing in my face.
02:30:02.000 And that's what someone's doing when they're sabotaging their life in front of you consistently and continually, and they drag you into their world.
02:30:10.000 Well, fucking help me!
02:30:12.000 No!
02:30:13.000 You are a grown person.
02:30:14.000 Help yourself, goddammit.
02:30:16.000 And you get sucked into it.
02:30:17.000 You know, like, you okay?
02:30:19.000 I'm gonna call you.
02:30:19.000 I'll call you later.
02:30:20.000 Then you have to call and check up on them, and they're crying, and like, what the fuck?
02:30:24.000 You know?
02:30:24.000 It's like when people don't get their shit together, it becomes contagious, and I worry about that when it comes to psychology.
02:30:33.000 I worry, like...
02:30:35.000 People that are constantly dealing with other people's disasters and fuck-ups, if that's your day, it's just every day you're dealing with someone who can't stop eating cake or they can't stop jerking off or they can't stop whatever it is that they're hung up on, whatever craziness.
02:30:49.000 I always feel like, man, in trying or even making an attempt to help those people, you're sort of giving up a lot of your sovereignty when it comes to your own established mental state.
02:31:02.000 Yeah, which is why, you know, Casilda's got extremely firm boundaries.
02:31:09.000 And when we're, like, you know, if we're hanging out with someone, you know, potential friends or whatever, just people, whatever, if she detects Something that's not right, she's just like, yeah, I'm gonna go home.
02:31:22.000 And she's out.
02:31:23.000 Like, she's not gonna...
02:31:26.000 Because I think it's what you're describing.
02:31:28.000 She feels like, if this isn't a clinical situation where I'm in charge, then she feels contaminated.
02:31:36.000 Yeah.
02:31:37.000 Whereas I feel more like, yeah, whatever, you know, everybody's got their weird shit.
02:31:41.000 But then I find myself developing friendships with people, and then a year or two down the road, it's like, fuck.
02:31:47.000 You know, they weird out on me.
02:31:49.000 And like, I didn't see that coming.
02:31:51.000 And she'll say, are you kidding?
02:31:52.000 I saw that coming the day you met that guy.
02:31:54.000 Like, why would you, you know, I tried to warn you.
02:31:57.000 Well, there's some people that are undeniably toxic.
02:32:00.000 And by toxic, it doesn't necessarily even mean that they're trying to harm you.
02:32:04.000 Right.
02:32:04.000 They might be toxic just by the fact that they're fucking so self-indulgent.
02:32:10.000 There's a lot of people that constantly want to talk about their own problems.
02:32:15.000 Their own problems take precedent over everything that's going on, and it's just this constant examination of their own faults.
02:32:22.000 And they never get better, those fucks.
02:32:24.000 Those fuckers, they constantly repeat the same problems.
02:32:28.000 And I think that a lot of them, they have even addictions, and that these addictions, whether it's alcohol or drugs or whatever the fuck it is, those addictions they have are almost like, it's like facilitates this need to talk about themselves and their problems.
02:32:43.000 They create more problems, so they're constantly addressing their problems.
02:32:49.000 Yeah.
02:32:49.000 I hear that.
02:32:51.000 And that's why she prefers psychotics.
02:32:53.000 Because they're not doing that.
02:32:54.000 It makes sense.
02:32:55.000 They're crazy.
02:32:56.000 They have to deal with some real shit.
02:32:57.000 Neurotics are just a pain in the ass.
02:32:58.000 Yeah.
02:32:59.000 But psychotics, they can't help it.
02:33:01.000 They're just like that.
02:33:02.000 They're born that way.
02:33:03.000 Well, to wrap it all up, Chris Ryan, are we fucking doomed?
02:33:05.000 When is this book coming out, by the way?
02:33:07.000 Probably next summer.
02:33:08.000 Are you almost done with it?
02:33:09.000 Yeah.
02:33:09.000 Is it the editorial process now?
02:33:11.000 Not yet, but within...
02:33:13.000 I'd say within a month, I'll turn it in and then flee the country.
02:33:17.000 And then when you turn it in, does a bunch of fucking bean counters start going over your shit and deciding which way it should go?
02:33:24.000 Because you have to give up a little bit of creative control in order to have it published, right?
02:33:30.000 Is that how it works?
02:33:31.000 Yeah.
02:33:32.000 I mean, it depends where you are in that world, you know?
02:33:36.000 I mean...
02:33:37.000 It's probably the same with a comic.
02:33:39.000 It's your first special.
02:33:41.000 The producers are going to have a lot to say.
02:33:43.000 Someone like you, you can walk in and say, no, I'm going to do it this way.
02:33:46.000 Take it or leave it.
02:33:47.000 But even then, there were some bits that Comedy Central wouldn't put on my last special.
02:33:52.000 They were like, you can't do that one.
02:33:55.000 We can't put that one on the air.
02:33:56.000 I'm like, all right.
02:33:57.000 Yeah, although...
02:33:58.000 There's a couple of them, actually.
02:33:59.000 I mean, you could do...
02:34:00.000 You're in a position with your platform where you could just say, all right, Comedy Central, you know what?
02:34:05.000 I'm going to pay tape this myself in a small club in L.A. and then distribute it through my podcast and cut you guys out.
02:34:12.000 You could do that.
02:34:13.000 The earlier regime, like the regime that they have now is really good, but they had an earlier regime, and several years ago I had a conversation with them over the phone.
02:34:21.000 We were going over material, and in the middle of the conversation I went, stop, stop, stop.
02:34:26.000 We're done.
02:34:28.000 Right.
02:34:35.000 Right.
02:34:50.000 So the eight-year-old retarded boy goes, well, there's a lot of holes in that story.
02:34:54.000 And they were like, you can't do that.
02:34:56.000 I was like, well, it has to be done.
02:34:58.000 You can't tell me what I can and can't do.
02:35:01.000 That's the whole point.
02:35:02.000 Are you saying that eight-year-old retarded boys don't exist, or you can't ever discuss them?
02:35:06.000 Which one is it?
02:35:07.000 Because I'm not making fun of the eight-year-old retarded boy.
02:35:09.000 I'm saying the eight-year-old retarded boy is too smart to buy Exactly.
02:35:12.000 The story of Noah and the Ark.
02:35:14.000 Right.
02:35:14.000 And to them, it was just, the vehicle was unacceptable.
02:35:17.000 Like, well, we're done.
02:35:18.000 We're done here.
02:35:19.000 Like, well, like, why don't you have it like an older...
02:35:21.000 No.
02:35:24.000 You're saying this because you want to save your gig.
02:35:27.000 Your gig is to be able to somehow or another justify what you've put on the air to the advertisers or whoever the fuck is above you.
02:35:38.000 You can't do that with comedy.
02:35:41.000 If you homogenize comedy, unless it's your thing, some people, that's how they think.
02:35:48.000 Which is fine.
02:35:49.000 But they shouldn't be working in comedy then.
02:35:51.000 Well, they could be, like Jim Gaffigan.
02:35:53.000 He's a hilarious guy, but his comedy is very, like, anybody could laugh at it.
02:35:58.000 Brian Regan is the same thing.
02:36:00.000 He's hilarious, but that is him.
02:36:02.000 You know, there's always going to be pop music, and some pop music is really fucking good.
02:36:06.000 And then there's always going to be just dirty, fucking nasty, like, music from the street, which is also really good if that's what you're into.
02:36:16.000 You turned me on to Doug Stanhope talking about someone who just goes, he's fantastic.
02:36:22.000 Yeah, he's free.
02:36:23.000 He's the opposite of what you're talking about.
02:36:25.000 Yeah, he doesn't, no, you can't tell Doug what to do.
02:36:28.000 It's just, it's not, it's never going to happen.
02:36:30.000 He doesn't care.
02:36:31.000 He doesn't, all Doug needs is enough money to get by and he's done.
02:36:35.000 I mean, he lives in this weird fucking town, Bisbee, Arizona, seven miles from the border of Mexico.
02:36:39.000 It's this weird artist community.
02:36:41.000 He's got this strangely painted house.
02:36:43.000 He invites people over his house for Super Bowl party.
02:36:47.000 Like, literally, the internet.
02:36:48.000 He'll, like, put out his address, and people just come to his house.
02:36:52.000 He's had 500 people over his house for Super Bowl parties.
02:36:55.000 He didn't know 459 of them.
02:36:58.000 I mean, he's that nuts.
02:36:59.000 That's a lot of bean dip.
02:37:01.000 His girlfriend, completely out of her fucking mind, like legitimately crazy, on pills.
02:37:06.000 Her name is Bingo.
02:37:06.000 She shaves her head.
02:37:08.000 The hair that's left, she puts blue paint on it and they fucking go out of the house.
02:37:12.000 She's wearing like socks on her arms.
02:37:14.000 She's nuts.
02:37:15.000 And that's his reality.
02:37:17.000 He wears ironic suits and he gets upset because now like more people are wearing these ironic suits and he's afraid that he's going to get lumped into these categories of these people that are like trying to act as if they're ironic.
02:37:30.000 By wearing ridiculous suits.
02:37:32.000 He's a fucking national treasure.
02:37:35.000 He really is.
02:37:36.000 It's so hard for someone to go that road so 100% committed that they come out on the other end of Doug Stanhope.
02:37:44.000 Most of the time, somewhere along the line, they sell out.
02:37:47.000 Yeah.
02:37:48.000 You have to, yeah.
02:37:50.000 But I mean, as far as the publishing thing, because of the success of Sex at Dawn, I think I'm in a position to sort of, you know, I've got leverage.
02:38:01.000 And the guy, the editor, who...
02:38:04.000 Who acquired the book is the guy who edited Sex at Dawn.
02:38:08.000 Oh, that's great.
02:38:09.000 So I know how he works.
02:38:10.000 Oh, that's great.
02:38:11.000 Different publisher.
02:38:11.000 He quit and left.
02:38:12.000 He's with someone else.
02:38:14.000 So he's cool and we've known each other for years.
02:38:17.000 That's nice when you develop a relationship.
02:38:19.000 I've heard of authors that have relationships with their editors and it's really great.
02:38:23.000 I had a book deal for a while and it didn't go well.
02:38:26.000 It's the same thing as the Comedy Central thing.
02:38:27.000 I wrote some stuff, and they were like, well, we want it to be like your stand-up.
02:38:31.000 We want you to write.
02:38:32.000 I wrote stuff like that Maxim piece, where it's not like stand-up.
02:38:36.000 It's just my thoughts on things.
02:38:38.000 And they were like, we want it to be like a laugh every minute.
02:38:40.000 I'm like, we're done.
02:38:42.000 We're done.
02:38:43.000 So I gave them their money back.
02:38:44.000 I gave them their advance back.
02:38:46.000 My friend Steve Rinello, who's a writer, is like, do you understand that that's like every writer's dream?
02:38:50.000 To give the money back and tell them to go fuck off?
02:38:53.000 Well, see, I wouldn't give the money back and tell them to go fuck off.
02:38:56.000 I think what I'm going to do is eventually decide to sit down and finish it and just release it online.
02:39:03.000 I think that might be the best way to do it.
02:39:05.000 Release it as an audio, not an audio book, but a PDF or release it as an e-book.
02:39:11.000 An e-book, yeah.
02:39:12.000 Or, you know, maybe find a publisher that just leaves me their fucking home.
02:39:14.000 Well, you know what I'm doing?
02:39:15.000 I'm, and I might be getting a little ahead of myself here, but I've been talking to a company called Misfit.
02:39:22.000 Very cool guys.
02:39:23.000 Interesting story.
02:39:24.000 They're based in Fargo.
02:39:26.000 Sort of like Bisbee.
02:39:28.000 The guy was, he quit his job.
02:39:30.000 He was working on Wall Street.
02:39:33.000 JD, or I can't remember what his name is, but he was working on Wall Street, making a bunch of money, late 20s, gonna marry his high school sweetheart, And they're going to go to the Bahamas or something on their honeymoon.
02:39:45.000 And he goes in and he's talking to his boss and his boss says, oh, listen, by the way, sorry, congratulations on the wedding this weekend, but you got to be in here Monday because we got some deals coming up.
02:39:57.000 He's like, my honeymoon.
02:39:59.000 He's like, no, no, sorry.
02:40:01.000 It's Wall Street.
02:40:01.000 You're working for the big boys now.
02:40:03.000 Oh, and we're going to give you a bonus.
02:40:06.000 Bump up your annual salary now to $250 instead of $180 or whatever it was, right?
02:40:13.000 And so he goes back to his office and he's like, I just got a $75,000 raise.
02:40:20.000 I'm making a quarter of a million dollars.
02:40:21.000 I'm 28 years old and I can't go to the Bahamas on my honeymoon.
02:40:26.000 Fuck this.
02:40:27.000 And he says, I got to quit.
02:40:30.000 And it was December 29th.
02:40:33.000 And if he had stayed till the end of the year, he would have had his end of year bonus, which was like 50 grand or something.
02:40:39.000 But he said, if I stay two more days, I won't do it.
02:40:42.000 You know, it's that moment you're on the edge, you're either going to jump or you're not.
02:40:46.000 And he went in, he said, sorry, I'm out.
02:40:48.000 Quit, quit his job.
02:40:50.000 Ballsy dude.
02:40:51.000 Ballsy dudes.
02:40:51.000 Had no money saved because he was, you know, living the high life.
02:40:55.000 And was actually in debt.
02:40:57.000 And so they couldn't go to the Bahamas.
02:40:59.000 They got married.
02:41:00.000 And he and his sweetheart got on the train and just went across America on Amtrak.
02:41:04.000 And the train stopped in Fargo.
02:41:08.000 And he was like, I love that movie.
02:41:09.000 Let's get off and check this place out.
02:41:12.000 Yeah.
02:41:13.000 They ended up spending a few weeks there and fell in love with it.
02:41:16.000 Wow.
02:41:17.000 Fargo, North Dakota?
02:41:18.000 Fargo.
02:41:19.000 And he said it's a really cool town and there are all these great artists there and really creative people.
02:41:24.000 And it's this...
02:41:24.000 Because there's nothing for hundreds of miles.
02:41:27.000 Right.
02:41:27.000 So all the interesting people are in Fargo.
02:41:31.000 And he said it's this great town.
02:41:33.000 So they opened this business where they sort of do branding for cool companies.
02:41:40.000 So they'll only work with who they want to work with.
02:41:42.000 And anyway, so I'm talking to them about putting together a book of excerpts of some of the best episodes of my podcast.
02:41:52.000 Oh, that's a great idea.
02:41:53.000 For people who don't listen to podcasts and for people who do listen to podcasts to give as a gift, right?
02:41:57.000 To their dad or their girlfriend or whatever.
02:42:00.000 I mean, you guys could put together a fucking encyclopedia.
02:42:03.000 But anyway, I mean, like, why not?
02:42:05.000 You've got all these great interviews with really interesting people.
02:42:10.000 Why not make an e-book or a physical book or whatever?
02:42:13.000 It's not a bad idea if people are into reading it instead of listening to it.
02:42:18.000 I mean, why not?
02:42:19.000 And there's some forms, some places where listening to it's not appropriate or not an option.
02:42:25.000 On the toilet?
02:42:25.000 Yeah.
02:42:26.000 I just think there's so many different ways to get information now.
02:42:29.000 It's such a cool time.
02:42:30.000 Yeah.
02:42:30.000 I just, I'm so, between podcasting and blogging and people creating little internet videos of their own and these YouTube content people, like I had this guy Lewis on yesterday from Unbox Therapy and he like reviews technological things,
02:42:46.000 unboxes them, he's very educated on them and really explains the ins and the outs and He really educates your buying options because he gives you a lot of information that's pretty unique.
02:42:59.000 But these guys, there was no option like that before.
02:43:02.000 There was no in-depth consumer reports that completely uncensored, without commercials for 10, 15, whatever minutes he chooses to upload the video.
02:43:12.000 Completely up to him.
02:43:13.000 The same thing as we were talking about the impact the internet has, what an amazing thing it is because there's never been something like a podcast like this.
02:43:21.000 This podcast is going to reach a million people.
02:43:24.000 This one is going to get downloaded by a million people plus.
02:43:28.000 And over the course of X amount of years, who knows how many million it'll be because it's always up, available, it's always free.
02:43:35.000 Anybody can download it and it's available in a bunch of different forms.
02:43:38.000 So you can get it from YouTube, you can get it from Vimeo, you can get it from That's why I hope we're not fucked.
02:43:58.000 I don't know if we're fucked, but I know that this thing that we have right now is fucked.
02:44:02.000 Like this set up, you know, the Congress and the Senate and the fucking lobbyists and the president and the Department of Defense.
02:44:13.000 Corporations.
02:44:13.000 You know, I mean, the movement has been—you think about the focus of power, right?
02:44:17.000 It's been from hunter-gatherers dispersed, egalitarian hunter-gatherers.
02:44:22.000 Then you got despots that came, you know, gathered the power in agricultural societies.
02:44:27.000 Then the despots get together and form institutions.
02:44:31.000 Primarily the church first.
02:44:33.000 Then you've got political institutions.
02:44:37.000 Then you've got corporate economic institutions.
02:44:39.000 What's next?
02:44:41.000 There's got to be a next.
02:44:42.000 So I'm hoping that the next will be a return to the dispersed power because of what we're talking about, because now we've got direct connections To everyone.
02:44:53.000 Yeah.
02:44:54.000 It seems entirely possible.
02:44:55.000 And it seems at least if it's not the only option, it'll be an option.
02:45:00.000 It'll be like there will be corporations that are set up that are more ethical, more connected to people, and more grounded in their approach to trying to acquire money.
02:45:09.000 Yeah.
02:45:10.000 As opposed to what we've got now, the infinite growth paradigm, which is kind of out of control.
02:45:15.000 It's not sustainable.
02:45:17.000 It doesn't make any sense.
02:45:18.000 But yet, it's the norm.
02:45:20.000 This non-sustainable idea is the one that everybody pursues.
02:45:25.000 As opposed to, hey, isn't a billion dollars enough a year?
02:45:29.000 We're good, right?
02:45:29.000 We're good right here.
02:45:32.000 It just seems like...
02:45:35.000 These kind of discussions and discussions like this, whether it's on social media or what have you, and just people's ability to Google and actually get the raw data and kind of...
02:45:47.000 It educates understanding and it just changes the way we view it.
02:45:53.000 Instead of viewing it as...
02:45:55.000 You know, this is how it is, and that's how you do, and you don't work hard because you have to.
02:46:00.000 You do it because that's what you were born to do.
02:46:03.000 And then this actor smiles, who, by the way, is not fucking working hard.
02:46:07.000 He's an actor that doesn't even talk.
02:46:09.000 I mean, bizarre.
02:46:11.000 Right.
02:46:12.000 Bizarre and ironic.
02:46:13.000 I mean, what an easy job.
02:46:15.000 When we come in close, Mike, when we get right here, I want you to smile.
02:46:19.000 But not a happy smile, like I'm a rugged fucking hard man with calloused hands.
02:46:27.000 Wearing overalls.
02:46:28.000 I mean, I think we're seeing the bullshit better than we've ever seen it before.
02:46:34.000 Yeah.
02:46:34.000 And that's at least step one.
02:46:36.000 That is my hope right there.
02:46:38.000 Look at you.
02:46:39.000 You're becoming an optimist.
02:46:40.000 I'm becoming.
02:46:40.000 It's like I have grandkids or something.
02:46:43.000 Not that I know of.
02:46:44.000 Wah, wah, wah.
02:46:46.000 All right.
02:46:46.000 Let's wrap it up.
02:46:47.000 Are you still doing Tangentially Speaking?
02:46:49.000 Every week.
02:46:50.000 Every week.
02:46:50.000 Get it on iTunes.
02:46:52.000 Everywhere you get your finer podcasts.
02:46:54.000 Website.
02:46:56.000 ChrisRyanPhD.com.
02:46:57.000 ChrisRyanPhD on Twitter.
02:46:59.000 Yep.
02:47:00.000 That's it.
02:47:00.000 That's it.
02:47:01.000 All right.
02:47:01.000 Thanks, brother.
02:47:01.000 It's been a pleasure.
02:47:02.000 As always.
02:47:02.000 As always.
02:47:03.000 Thank you.
02:47:04.000 Bye, everybody.
02:47:05.000 See you next week.
02:47:06.000 Big kiss.
02:47:07.000 Oh, wow.
02:47:08.000 It's like laughing.