Chris Christie got kicked off a crowded train for drinking a McDonald's strawberry shake in public. Dave Rubin tries to convince him that he needs to go to the ER to have his stomach stapled, but Chris doesn t want to go. The guys talk about how to get rid of food cravings, how to lose weight, and how to stop being a slob about it. Plus, the guys discuss why we should all be eating corn instead of sugar, and why we shouldn t be drinking it at all. And, of course, there's a special guest appearance from Peter Giuliano, who is an expert on coffee and who can talk about putting coffee in his face like a guy who s drinking coffee. We're live, Dave Rubin's trying to shut this fucker down, and we're here to celebrate the fact that Chris Christie got off of a quiet train this morning for talking on his phone while drinking a McD s strawberry shake. And this is the guy who wants to ban pot? How about ban yourself, you fucking slob? How dare you? How dare he drink a McDonald s Strawberry Shake in public? In light of everything that happened this morning, we celebrate Chris Christie's decision to not only drink a Mcdonalds strawberry shake, but to talk about it in public in public after having his stomach staples removed? And we re here to tell you why you should do something about it! We ve got a guest on the pod this week, and it s a good one! We re talking about corn and sugar, too. You ve got it, you ve got corn, you re gonna like it. And it s not even better than that, baby you reeeeeee. (but it s better than coffee, baby!!) Thank you for listening to us, Dave, we re back, we know you re not going to stop drinking coffee, you ll be back, you know what we know it s gonna be better than this, right? You re not drinking it anymore, we ve got enough of it, we got it now, we ll tell you. XOXO, we love you, bye. -Dave Rubin -Jonah Holmes and Coachella, Jonah Jonah and the rest of the crew Cheers, Caitie and the guys at the podcasting team at The Daily Mail - .
00:00:05.000Shut that fucking thing off for two seconds.
00:00:08.000We are here to celebrate the fact that Chris Christie got kicked off of a quiet train this morning for talking on his phone while drinking a McDonald's strawberry shake.
00:00:17.000And this is the guy who wants to ban pot.
00:00:20.000How about ban yourself, you fucking slob?
00:00:42.000I know a guy who's blown through two of them.
00:00:44.000He's had it done twice and blown through it both times.
00:00:47.000So you actually tear open the staples?
00:00:49.000Is that actually- I haven't done any MRIs or operations on these people.
00:00:54.000I thought we were going to go heavy medical- It's been explained to me Dave Rubin the skin is flexible and if you just keep stretching that bitch out it's clearly when with these people like I have a friend and His friend is a friend of mine as well But a good friend of his and he was about he's about to go do this and I said Please try to talk him out of it because you don't need surgery.
00:01:18.000You just need to change your life and Because the surgery is only going to fix the physical aspect of it.
00:01:22.000There's a reason why you're stuffing all this sugar and fat, and you're addicted to food.
00:01:27.000So you need to find out what it is, what's going on.
00:01:30.000So you're talking about the psychological part of the emotional part.
00:02:16.000And then I would look at it and I'm like, 20 grams of sugar in a fucking...
00:02:20.000Serving of, and I usually have two servings.
00:02:22.000I mean, look, it's not even sugar what we do.
00:02:25.000We do, in America, we do high fructose corn syrup.
00:02:28.000I don't know if to illuminate you on this, but in our Coke, in our can of Coke, because it's cheaper to put corn in it, to sweeten it, we're drinking corn instead of sugar.
00:03:26.000You know, like, that's how dumb people have become about food.
00:03:30.000We were talking a little bit about food before we started, but, like, it's really, it's like the most important stuff, what you put into your body so that then you can function on this earth.
00:03:40.000And we're so warped, we got corn instead of sugar.
00:06:38.000And the Stenosanol allows you to keep mass on, or helps you, assists you in keeping mass on when you cut weight.
00:06:45.000So for fighters that are trying to be the biggest in their weight class, they're dehydrating themselves, but they want to keep as much muscle mass as possible.
00:06:53.000That can't be good for long-term health, right?
00:06:57.000I mean, I see it with these guys, and it's like, you know, they're doing this just so that they can get somebody that has a better body than them, so they can fuck, and then they move on to the next one.
00:07:06.000It's like this endless game, you know what I mean?
00:07:08.000Like, I got a hot body, he's got a hot body, I'll fuck him, now I moved it.
00:07:11.000Like, it's just this, you're climbing this ladder, Yeah.
00:07:58.000It's really sad, and we can get into this a little later, but it also shows me why the gay marriage thing was so important.
00:08:05.000Because these are, I actually have a lot of empathy for these people, although I can, you know, it's easy to make fun of.
00:08:10.000But, like, if you couldn't ever enter a relationship that then is, you're gonna build, like, what you have with your wife, where you can build a life, you know?
00:08:17.000And you can have kids and move forward in life.
00:08:19.000Well, then, if all you have is just fucking...
00:08:25.000And as many guys as possible, rotations, different ones texting you all day long, trying to put it together, trying to figure out when you could squeeze the time in.
00:09:06.000Or, you know, you could try to fill yourself up with that and, you know, be married and have kids and, you know, and have that part of your life achieve normalcy.
00:09:15.000Or you can do the super tan, roided up, Dick-sucking rampage that those guys that work out at Gold's Gym on Coal.
00:12:44.000What women experience is a bunch of guys.
00:12:46.000I can't tell you, especially when I was younger and I was single, how many fucking girls that I dated who would work with some guy who would say, well, Mike from the office says, I'd be like, Mike's trying to fuck you!
00:13:30.000I have to figure out how to get this person to touch my body and create pleasure.
00:13:33.000You don't take the objective steps to recognize, oh, this is a gigantic biological trick that's been set in place by nature because it was really hard to survive just a few thousand years ago.
00:13:46.000It was insanely hard to survive, and you had to make sure you made as many people as possible so that they made as many people as possible so we can keep this retarded party going.
00:14:04.000I've only seen clips of it, but I had a bit that people accused me of stealing from Idiocracy, but luckily I did the bit before Idiocracy came out, so I got grandfathered in.
00:14:14.000That's the comedian Yeah, that's the movie.
00:14:36.000I was supposed to get my check on Friday.
00:15:36.000I used to be afraid when I was closeted, like, in high school and college.
00:15:40.000Because I didn't come out until really my mid to late 20s.
00:15:42.000But I used to be afraid of Abercrombie& Finch, because they used to have those shirtless, you know, like these shirtless hot guys standing outside, and I felt that they would know.
00:15:52.000Like, I just thought, like, these guys are gonna know that I'm gay.
00:15:55.000Wait a minute, they used to have guys standing outside the store?
00:17:54.000Dave Rubin, why he's everything that's wrong with gay people today.
00:17:58.000I mean, you would get those kind of articles and just twisting and distorting your real positions to make social brownie points to appeal to the hardest of hardcore aggressive social justice warrior lefties.
00:18:10.000Can we get everybody to hate everybody?
00:18:13.000Can we fucking split everybody down to just their color and their sex to the point where you can then control everybody?
00:18:21.000Because if anyone gets out of that little box, There's something wrong with them, not something wrong with you.
00:18:26.000Well, this poor guy, he's not hanging in there well.
00:18:28.000Robert Redford, that motherfucker's hanging in there well.
00:18:47.000But she's got what I call monster face.
00:18:49.000And monster face is when they shoot their face up with filler and then they do the lips and then they pull their face back so they have this sort of reptilian mouth where their mouth is way too big.
00:18:59.000And it's way too big because they're pulling this fucking skin so the opening of their mouth doesn't match a normal person's face because it's bigger.
00:19:09.000It stretches like this guy's Chris Christie's stomach.
00:23:05.000It all makes no sense because you see the Olympic guys, they wear the caps so that it makes it seem like they're bald and they're swimming well.
00:23:13.000And yet you watch those commercials and then they have a head of hair and they're swimming well.
00:23:17.000Well, I think the idea is that if you get in the water, like instantly all the work that you've done with hairspray to lock this fucking monster in place, it all dissolves with the water and you leave behind an oil slick.
00:23:30.000But when you get in the water with one of those wacky wigs, the little hair club jammies, the idea is that nobody can tell.
00:24:56.000But don't you think they should have to show, like, when they show you the pill, and then everyone's running in a field, it's all that bullshit marketing nonsense.
00:25:31.000Yeah, that's one thing if you're advertising a car, right?
00:25:34.000You know, if you've got, like, the newest Cadillac, and it looks cool, and you're driving, you look cool driving, like, man, I want to get one of those!
00:25:43.000But if it's another thing, if it's some crazy...
00:25:45.000You remember there was a drug that they were selling for a while they were advertising that was a supplement to your current antidepressant?
00:26:00.000Because if you have a cartoon cloud following you, you've got some serious problems.
00:26:03.000But there's something fucked up about advertising for something that's a drug that can affect your mind and possibly cause suicidal thoughts, because advertising is entirely designed to coax you into buying the product.
00:27:05.000But anyway, I just figured, all right, instead of taking one a day, I'll just do one every other day and then one every three days, something like that.
00:27:16.000I remember when you used to turn on an old computer, like an old desktop computer, all the whirring and the buzzing and you'd hear the hard drive spinning and all that shit.
00:27:24.000I could feel that in my brain for about two weeks when I got off it.
00:27:28.000I felt my brain actually resetting or something.
00:28:44.000And especially as an artist, as someone that speaks and is supposed to have a full set of emotions and be able to go on stage, tell people what I think.
00:28:52.000You know, that's the argument with school shooters.
00:28:55.000One of the things about school shooters is a massively disproportionate amount of them are on psych meds.
00:29:01.000And the idea is that they can do that.
00:29:20.000People that I know that have been on various antidepressants, SSRIs or whatever, they tell you that things don't bother them.
00:29:28.000So if things don't bother them, like shooting people, like the lack of empathy, it seems to me, my armchair psychology position, that there would just be a correlation there.
00:29:39.000Well, it's always why we have a real inability in America to talk about two things at once.
00:29:45.000That two things could be true at the same time.
00:29:47.000So when you look at the shootings, Immediately, the people who are against guns will say it's about guns.
00:29:52.000And the people who are for guns will say it's about mental health.
00:29:56.000I'm pretty sure two things could be true at the same time.
00:30:57.000I mean, the other problem is there's so many guns out there that the people that are doing this shit, like this last guy in Oregon, I think he didn't get the gun.
00:31:04.000It was his mom that got the gun, I think.
00:33:01.000Instead, he's a guy that you can point to and say, well, he has a strong position about Islam, so he is Islamophobic, he is therefore racist, and he should be attacked and fuck that piece of shit.
00:33:14.000I mean, I've seen the same written about Christopher Hitchens.
00:33:17.000I saw some people when he died that were writing good riddance, and I made fun of this one social justice warrior because he was saying good riddance to Hitchens, but then when Osama bin Laden died, he was like, I am not going to celebrate the death of any human being.
00:33:29.000I'm like, well, this is fucking hilarious.
00:33:35.000And this is part of the problem with social media.
00:33:37.000And I think one of the things that we're finding with this whole social justice warrior issue is that it's not necessarily just opinions.
00:33:47.000It's opinions that are being expressed in a way where they know people are going to hear it.
00:33:52.000They know people are going to see their writing.
00:33:53.000And so that knowledge that someone's going to see what you're writing and react to it, either positive or negative, affects your choices.
00:34:01.000It's like reality TV. And what they're doing is like, when you see people act fake on reality TV because you know that they know the cameras are on them, that's what you're doing when you make a retarded social justice warrior tweet.
00:35:56.000Again, you can disagree with the premises of what he says.
00:35:59.000You can disagree with his feelings on profiling or nuclear first strike, but he'll debate all of those.
00:36:04.000I sat with him for an hour and a half and he would have done three hours, but our crew guys had to leave.
00:36:08.000I mean, this is a guy who will stake out these positions Yeah.
00:36:36.000And what they're really doing is just trying to take the moral high ground.
00:36:40.000They're trying to take his position of being like, first of all, if Ben Affleck had a real nuanced and objective position, he certainly didn't express it on that show.
00:37:14.000It doesn't suck because it's a sucky show.
00:37:16.000It sucks because all these subjects are massively important and have a bunch of people shouting over each other.
00:37:21.000Like here, you and I have very strong opinions and we want to express ourselves and there's only two of us, luckily.
00:37:26.000Because if there was five of us in the room right now and we're all talking, it would be really hard to fucking get your points across.
00:37:33.000Because you've got to kind of like jump in and this is what happens when you get a guy like Sam Harris and a guy like Ben Affleck and Ben Affleck, what you're saying is so racist.
00:37:43.000Instead of having an hour to go, okay, well, why don't you tell me why it's racist and give me your thoughts in the Middle East and tell me what you would do about, you know, X amount of people who are so entangled in their ideology that they want death upon people.
00:37:59.000They wish death upon people who leave the religion.
00:38:03.000Tell me what you would do about people that think that it's wrong to have women go to school.
00:38:08.000Tell me what you would do about- we're talking about ideologies.
00:38:11.000You can call it Islam, you can call it the Moonies, you can call it Scientology, you can call it whatever the fuck you want, but what it really is, is a rigid set of ideologies.
00:38:23.000These are ideologies that you are forced to subscribe to a predetermined pattern of behavior and thinking.
00:38:28.000And if you are not in that predetermined pattern of behavior and thinking, they wish death upon you.
00:38:33.000And they think that they should be able to stone you if you're a homosexual.
00:38:36.000They should be able to stone you if you're an adulterer.
00:38:38.000There's a horrible video online of this poor woman whose father throws the first rock.
00:39:30.000Where it's just Bill sitting down with these people and not being forced into that fucking soundbite-y type of conversation because that's what they're doing.
00:39:39.000Well, listen, I love Bill, but I'll do that show.
00:40:05.000But what I'm absolutely seeing now, we've only been doing my show in its current incarnation, I think?
00:40:33.000You know, where everybody on television, they start, you know, and it's partly like a show that I love on ESPN, pardon the interruption, and they would have the countdown going, you know, and everything had to be quick, quick, quick, quick, quick.
00:40:43.000But I think people are actually ready for this.
00:40:47.000And I think clearly, and I don't think it, I mean, that's why this is working for you.
00:41:09.000Well, I think the entertainment aspect of those shows where there's like five people in a room and then also you have a fucking audience that cheers when they agree.
00:41:37.000And during his show, he does do that when people chime in.
00:41:41.000But I just think that the entertainment aspect of expressing yourself almost sometimes takes precedent over the concepts and the ideas themselves because it's all in how you deliver it and how forcefully you can get it past the other people that are trying to say contrary points.
00:41:57.000So the Ben Affleck thing is the perfect example of that.
00:41:59.000Because by yelling out gross and racist within a minute, right?
00:42:03.000So think about, it's pretty much the worst thing you can say about somebody, right?
00:42:32.000I would probably say that idea is racist before I would even say you're racist because I got to think that some people will say, well, I have black friends.
00:42:41.000Well, what do you like about black people?
00:42:43.000You go into that and at the end of it, well, they smell different.
00:42:47.000I like to be around people that are dumber than me.
00:42:52.000But that illustrates your point perfectly, that the problem with these shows and the problem with this discussion and problem with social justice, it's all like a perfect storm of craziness.
00:43:02.000Because the next day after that show, all the online sites, Mediate, everybody, the headlines were all, Ben Affleck calls Bill Maher and Sam Harris racist.
00:43:11.000So suddenly the onus was on them to prove that they're not racist.
00:43:16.000That is, not only is that bonkers, but I asked Sam about this and he said something that I thought was fascinating.
00:43:21.000He was on that show to discuss his book called Waking Up, which is a spiritual guide to, it's a guide to spirituality without religion.
00:43:29.000So he's talking about meditation, he's talking about inner peace.
00:43:32.000I've read the book, you know, like some pretty lofty stuff.
00:43:34.000He said, from that point forward, the next six months of my life, we're on a book tour about inner peace, but all I had to do is defend myself that I'm not a racist.
00:43:47.000Well, and it came from, I believe, Ben Affleck wanting to state a position that he felt would be very popular and would resonate and would get him social brownie points.
00:43:58.000Because what he said, the way he expressed himself, it's not nuanced, it's not objective, it's not complex and well thought out, and it's a very, very deep and important subject.
00:44:09.000Because what we're talking about in 2015, when you're talking about any ancient religion, you're talking about clinging to these ideas that were formed and ingrained in these communities well before science, well before people had a deep understanding of human psychology,
00:44:24.000of human nature, of the power of suggestion and culture, and well before we understood the way the world actually works as far as, like, As far as nature, as far as physics, as far as just the formation of the universe, all this information is not applicable to most of the religions in the world today.
00:44:43.000Not only are you right, but that's even what Sam wrote in End of Faith.
00:44:53.000If you really step back and dissect what you just said there, that if you took what the average person thought of the world and of science and of medicine and everything that we know of and food and everything in 1840...
00:45:06.000By that standard now, in 2015, that person would look pretty damn dumb.
00:45:10.000Yet for some reason, these books that were written thousands of years ago, thousands, whatever it is, somehow those have some validity that we should still respect.
00:46:56.000There's always going to be a few Hollywood conservatives.
00:46:58.000Obviously, Chuck Woolery is not in any big movies or anything like that, but there is always going to be a few conservatives in Hollywood, but the casting people, the producers, the executives, overwhelmingly left-leaning.
00:47:11.000And to be in that club, you have to agree with them.
00:47:15.000And there's a problem with that whole audition process when it comes to actors.
00:47:19.000You can't work unless someone approves you, unless someone takes you in and accepts you and chooses you.
00:47:25.000Dave, you're the right guy for the part.
00:47:27.000And you can't say anything controversial that will fuck that up.
00:47:31.000And then you're essentially like you're on a dating program for the world.
00:47:36.000Not dating like you're trying to get laid, but you're trying to get the world to love you.
00:47:39.000So when a guy like Ben Affleck, who's been doing this his whole life, gets on that show and someone says something, then he thinks, I can get in here and make some fucking points.
00:47:49.000I can get some social brownie points up on the board.
00:49:10.000So for comics, then it really is particularly bizarre because there's the approval thing, right?
00:49:15.000And comics want approval just the same way actors do.
00:49:18.000But comics are also the good ones, and unfortunately there's not many of us left, that you're supposed to stake out controversial positions.
00:49:25.000So that goes against the sort of mass approval thing.
00:49:42.000Well, counterculture, that you'd be really against the government, you'd be against the administration, you'd be fighting more for some of the things that I think we're doing with the social justice warrior stuff, fighting for free speech relentlessly, fighting against bad ideas.
00:49:56.000So you could be fighting against Right.
00:50:16.000I'm sure he'd be fun to have a drink with.
00:50:18.000So it's cool to like the power right now.
00:50:20.000So in a weird way, I think if we have a Republican president next time, comedy is going to get a lot better real quick because it's going to be a lot easier to attack.
00:50:28.000But is it cool to like him if you look at the facts?
00:50:31.000Is it cool to like him when you look at the way he's attacked whistleblowers?
00:50:44.000Guys like Duncan Trussell, Kurt Metzger.
00:50:47.000I know a lot of very smart comics that just think it's fucking gross that you've got a guy that's killed more innocent people with drones or been responsible for being the lead, the commander-in-chief of the greatest army the world has ever known that has caused thousands of people to die innocently through drone strikes.
00:51:35.000There's a reason that Obama, you know, a lot of people on the left, the progressives, when Obama got in, immediately were like, you know, he has to try, you know, Cheney for war crimes and blah, blah, blah.
00:51:43.000And there's a reason why he didn't that wasn't just about power.
00:51:47.000It was also because he's killing a lot of people with drones right now.
00:51:50.000And 20 years from now, he doesn't want that president, President Willow Smith or whoever it's going to be, to come in and be like...
00:54:00.000And I'm watching Seinfeld, which should be the time that I can shut my brain down, right?
00:54:05.000An episode that I've seen 150 times before, that I know every line coming out, and I have my iPad, and I have my iPhone, and my laptop's there, and I'm doing this, and it's like Minority Report from Hell.
00:54:45.000Especially in these sort of conversations, like you and I, we exchange some emails about some stuff that'd be cool to talk about, but we don't have a format.
00:54:54.000We're gay discos, and Ben Affleck's a douche, and Bill Maher's formats are antiquated, and there's...
00:55:02.000You can only have so much information in your head.
00:55:05.000And this is part of the problem that I have with this Going Clear book.
00:55:07.000Why I keep going to it and then going to other shit.
00:55:10.000It's because I feel like, why am I fucking reading so much about this sociopath fucking nightmare crazy cult leader dude that has...
00:55:20.000Formed this insane religion because part of me can't put it down.
00:55:26.000Part of me I start reading about all the crazy shit that he did and how nutty this guy really was and how many people followed his wacky ideas.
00:56:04.000And you've got a very different type of religion when, first of all, you're dealing with the environment that these people live in is extremely hostile, as far as the temperature is extremely hot, the battle for natural resources is very difficult, and you're also dealing with the cradle of civilization.
00:56:22.000And I have this bit about Islam that never really came to fruition.
00:56:26.000Not even Islam, but the Middle East, rather.
00:56:28.000The Middle East is essentially like they're the townies of the world.
00:56:32.000Because that's where culture was created.
00:56:34.000And everybody, look, human beings were created in Africa.
00:56:38.000That's where the first human beings came from.
00:57:33.000Prometheus, beginning of the world, Mesopotamia, everyone from there.
00:57:36.000But human beings came from the most ancient version of a human being.
00:57:41.000I think they think that we're in this current form.
00:57:44.000Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think they're thinking it's like 250,000 plus years, right?
00:57:48.000So whatever that was, at one point in time, they left Africa, and a lot of them settled in the Middle East.
00:57:54.000Egypt, of course, is a part of Africa, but it is in the Middle East officially.
00:57:58.000And they spread out all throughout the country.
00:58:01.000But the oldest, what we know today, as far as we know, the oldest written language, the oldest agriculture, the oldest government structure was Sumer.
00:58:36.000When you get to these parts of the world that are amongst the most ancient cultures, you have what I call the echoes of savages.
00:58:44.000It's like the culture has lasted for so long, and the reverberations of these ancient ideas that have been long disproven, they're still there.
00:58:56.000Look, that's why the Middle East especially, we could also talk about Israel-Palestine if you want, all of it is such A clusterfuck because...
00:59:03.000So you could take someone like Sam who will talk about it from the religious part, right?
01:00:34.000Well, this is the strange thing about the neocons, right?
01:00:37.000So neocons believe that we should use our American power to either nation-build or, you know, look, I know everyone on the left will say, well, they're doing it because we want their natural resources.
01:00:47.000Like, again, it's one of these things that there's a zillion reasons why everyone wants some piece of that part of the world.
01:01:21.000And it's just this endless cycle of craziness over there.
01:01:24.000I mean, you can't get any crazier than having a guy like Dick Cheney as the vice president, who's the CEO of Halliburton, a company that rebuilds places that we blow up.
01:01:33.000It sounds like a Schwarzenegger movie, right?
01:01:35.000Like he's the bad guy in a Schwarzenegger movie from the 80s, or the bad guy in Rambo.
01:02:02.000We hope that information and the distribution of information that's available today, that was barely available when Bush was in office, And we hope that the spread of that and the understanding of that will balance out all this shit.
01:02:15.000And I'm hoping that that's the case with social justice warriors.
01:02:18.000I'm hoping that's the case with these right-wing fucking fanatics that want to blow up and bomb and invade everything that doesn't believe in Jesus.
01:02:25.000I'm hoping that all that stuff gets balanced out because I think the amount of change we've experienced in our lifetime is unprecedented.
01:02:32.000Cultural change, informational change has been the big one.
01:02:36.000The invention of the internet, I fully believe that when we go back and historians look at this point in time, they see it as an explosion of change.
01:02:45.000Like a veritable explosion of ideas and of the ability to express themselves.
01:03:12.000We're going to have to figure out a way to do this better.
01:03:14.000You said some bad things about Abilify, and Abilify is one of our new sponsors, and you should ask your doctor about it because maybe you need it.
01:03:20.000Yeah, and then my cloud Yeah, I'm with you.
01:03:40.000It has a lot to do with the Sam thing, but I think there's been...
01:03:44.000We're close to the tipping point of defeating the social justice warriors.
01:04:08.000He has Black Lives Matter people grabbing the mic away from him a month ago screaming he doesn't care enough about black lives when there's no reason to believe that.
01:04:17.000But if you parse everyone down to their one issue, so if you say that these people are only going to care about Black Lives Matter and these people are only going to care about abortion and these people are only going to care about Islam or whatever it is, Ultimately, you're just a group of people who ultimately have interests that have nothing to do with each other,
01:04:36.000and you're going to destroy each other.
01:04:37.000And that's why I think the reaction to this is so good and so powerful.
01:04:44.000Well, when that Black Lives Matter thing happened, those girls were screaming, and he was saying, we're going to give them the microphone afterwards.
01:05:14.000There's so much to it, but that's why I really, I think the social justice warrior thing, and it has a lot, the same thing in the way that they treated him.
01:05:22.000I'm talking about, you know, Glenn Greenwald and Reza and my former boss, Cenk, who I know you've had on here.
01:05:27.000The way these people treated him and this dishonest attack on ideas that it came from the left.
01:05:32.000We're supposed to debate ideas, right?
01:05:45.000The right went off the deep end a long time ago.
01:05:48.000What I have to care about as someone that's on the left and that believes in liberal principles and doesn't want to see gays thrown off the roof...
01:06:02.000I think one of the things that we've hit is there are people that are balanced and that are socially aware and that are fun and interesting to talk to.
01:06:26.000Like whether it's Black Lives Matter or whether it's supporting gay rights or whether it's transgender rights or any of the ideas that I'm sure you and I could both agree with.
01:06:34.000What they're doing and the way they're doing it is they found something that gives them the green light to be an asshole And one of the things they're doing in being an asshole is they're making up for being picked on They're making up for being rejected They're making up for the abuse that they've suffered at other people's hands that have caused them to have this Unbalanced social persona and that's what it's all about.
01:06:54.000It's about social retards with really good points.
01:07:09.000On my birthday, the Supreme Court said, you know, I was engaged already at the time, but I kind of liked the idea of getting gay married when it wasn't fully legal, because then I thought I'd be like running from the law or something like that had some sort of bad ass.
01:07:23.000Yeah, I was It's gonna be like hunting a guy with one arm, you know, who killed my wife.
01:07:26.000None of it made sense, but I had this idea of something in my head.
01:07:29.000But anyway, if you take that movement, look, it happened pretty damn quick.
01:07:33.000I know gay people have wanted rights for a long time, but if you take the last five years, the way this thing has evolved, and now it's cool, look, you're a straight white man.
01:07:42.000Pretty much the worst thing there is, right?
01:08:16.000But what I realized sort of halfway through that was it's not that the left really cares about gays as much as sort of this idea sort of of what you're talking about.
01:08:25.000Because at the end of the day, now that gay people have equality, well, guess what?
01:08:29.000Suddenly gay people might start voting Republican because they might want to vote on taxes.
01:08:35.000So the identity politics thing is only good for a little while.
01:08:40.000And then once everyone's equal, it's just...
01:08:44.000It's just a way of pitting people against each other.
01:08:51.000You're not this amazing person with this moral high ground that stands above and gets to proclaim how they've been fighting for rights and screaming and yelling and crying.
01:09:00.000You're screaming and yelling and crying because you're socially retarded.
01:09:03.000Why are these people, by the way, why are they all anonymous?
01:09:06.000If they're so lofty in their- There's plenty that aren't anonymous.
01:09:59.000If they would have said that, they might have been able to reel the Tea Party in a little bit, but instead they just went to their worst, the worst piece of them.
01:10:07.000And I see it happening with us on the left.
01:10:10.000And that's why I'm so against the regressive left.
01:10:12.000We got to bring them back because otherwise we're going to have the regressive left and we're going to have the Tea Party.
01:11:19.000Something about someone who is unbelievably confident in what they're doing is the right thing and is proclaiming it publicly and loudly through a microphone that makes you go, wow, maybe he's right.
01:13:26.000He's the friend that said to me about the New Atheist thing.
01:13:29.000So they picked up, basically, where our conversation...
01:13:32.000Ended because when I did that and then you can play a clip No, no, I'm not but I was gonna say that Sam snap he snapped I wouldn't say snap, but by his expression.
01:13:41.000Yeah, he said snapped Yeah, that's how he described it too, but he expressed himself about what's really going on with these people whether it's Greenwald or I'll let him you know pick who it was and what it would but if you listen to it, it's the the thing the the Channel on YouTube is called secular talk.
01:14:00.000Yeah, and the title of it is Sam Harris on progressivism torture religion and foreign policy It's fucking fantastic cuz he's so elegant so eloquent elegant as well, but eloquent and he just nails it Perfectly expressed what's going on?
01:14:15.000Because what I see, when I did my sit down with Sam, I laid it out very clearly.
01:14:19.000I said to him, Sam, let's take the five things that people misquote you about the most and let's make it very YouTube friendly so that when these crazy people are screaming about you, anyone on Twitter can be like, here's a link, give it five minutes.
01:14:36.000Versus Islam, you know all that Islam is the mother load of bad ideas, which he did backtrack a little bit because again It's about it's about ideas not the slanders, right?
01:14:45.000So that's how we laid it out and then we and then we did the whole thing and I felt when I was done with that sit down Again, this was my first episode of my show.
01:14:52.000I was like I'm done with this topic I I felt I had added a little something to this I had helped the discourse a little bit and then suddenly right after that they all were worse I All of them.
01:15:04.000Glenn, Reza, Cenk, they all doubled down.
01:15:08.000Literally, Glenn retweeted a misquote from our interview that Sam said it was something about Sam mentions profiling and he's talking about Jerry Seinfeld.
01:15:18.000He's talking about Jerry Seinfeld, the comedian Jerry Seinfeld, should not be profiled.
01:15:22.000That this is a guy who should be able to walk right through because it's a silly use of resources.
01:15:48.000Yeah, because he's a middle-aged man and if a middle-aged white guy, whatever, he's not even talking about the race in this instance, that if me or you, if me and you were right now going LAX, that we should be profiled.
01:16:01.000They should look at two guys of a certain age and whatever their criteria are, not based on race or religion, but there should be some more, they should look at us in a more curious way than perhaps an 80-year-old Dutch woman That's in a wheelchair.
01:16:18.000He's trying to have smart profiling or what he calls anti-profiling.
01:16:22.000The problem with profiling, really, is you're getting profiled by people that are so fucking dumb they work for the TSA. That's a real issue.
01:16:30.000Because I read this whole thing that they give people, recognizing facial expressions, like, get the fuck out of here.
01:16:36.000Have you ever paused for a minute when you're looking for something and been a fly on the wall while the TSA agents are talking to each other about what they want to eat or what this bitch was saying to me?
01:16:51.000Well, to that point, I mean, look, if we really wanted to profile in the way that profiling should be done, then you have to do it the way the Israelis do it, which is that they have cameras on everybody watching every bit of body language and every bit of nuance.
01:17:43.000Difficult discussion to have because the social justice warriors make it so that even when we're talking about this now There's this feeling that somehow I'm before profiling I mean I think they should just be ignored the the so-called social justice warriors and I think that as times going on they're becoming so ridiculous They're doing it themselves.
01:17:59.000There's a great story that I tweeted a couple days ago anti-feminist speaker disinvited to Uncomfortable learning in quotes lecture series because she made students uncomfortable But don't they have safe spaces for that?
01:19:37.000I think it's coming from the professors, partly for what you said before about Affleck.
01:19:41.000Like, there's this idea, if you want to be a professor, sort of, and Gad Saad talks about this a lot because he is a college professor, and I know he's had his struggles as someone that is outing this bullshit.
01:19:51.000I think he's had his professional struggles.
01:19:53.000I think in our interview he talked a little bit about some exchanges he's had with other professors where they don't want to touch some of his ideas because of...
01:20:01.000Not that he's talking about anything really controversial at the end of the day.
01:20:04.000They don't want to touch it, but it's because of the pressure from the students?
01:20:21.000And they're being fed fear and stupidity.
01:20:25.000And then they just sort of rally around.
01:20:28.000There's also a real problem in colleges, I believe, that these people that operate in academia have only worked in academia and they don't really understand the real world because they aren't in it.
01:20:39.000And they're in a position of power with young people.
01:20:41.000So their ideas have They have incredible influence.
01:20:44.000They're standing on this stage teaching these lectures, teaching these classes, and they have these young, impressionable people that are listening to them.
01:20:53.000They have this platform, and they've never competed in the real world.
01:20:57.000They've never contributed to the real world other than teaching children.
01:21:01.000And there's a lot of them like that, that have gone through the educational system, and then gone from the educational system directly to teaching, and then this is their universe.
01:21:16.000So you could think, here's a simple example of this.
01:21:18.000So there's a difference between debating ideas and hate speech.
01:21:21.000So let's say somebody that hated Muslim people, Wanted to speak at a college and was going to talk about how we should kick them out of the country or we should, whatever, do horrible things to them.
01:21:33.000I could see absolutely protest that person.
01:21:36.000Use your right of free speech and free assembly to protest that person's ideas.
01:21:45.000You know, if it was purely hate, I suppose, but I know that's a really slippery slope because everyone, you know, versus you could take any of these people Ayaan Hirsi Ali, she's not against Muslim people.
01:21:58.000She's against the doctrine, these ideas.
01:22:00.000And if we can't make the distinction between hate speech and someone who wants to debate ideas, if you can't do that in college, Then where the hell else can you do that?
01:22:11.000Not only that, try getting some inflammatory quotes by Ayaan Hirsi Ali that you could argue against that aren't really well thought out, that aren't articulate, that aren't based on her personal experiences growing up in this religion,
01:24:00.000That was really perplexing to me because I usually feel like whether I agree with him or don't agree with him on other things, I feel like he's got an opinion.
01:27:50.000Because, oh, you don't believe what we think you're supposed to believe as a Muslim person, and you're with an atheist, you're his porch monkey.
01:27:58.000I mean, think if that came from the right, how we would rightly react to that, or how these guys on the left would react to that.
01:28:05.000So anyway, so sadly, and that's what leaves me with such conflict here, is that I don't think it's gonna stop.
01:28:12.000And I think they've learned, you know, what's that Hitler quote?
01:28:16.000Like, the bigger the lie, the more people will believe it.
01:28:18.000I think they're partly operating on that.
01:28:20.000That the opportunity cost for Sam, for you, for me, for anyone that cares about any of this, to clean up the mess...
01:28:27.000Is way too much for just, oh, Sam's a racist.
01:28:44.000Trying to balance out X amount of months of disinformation, but I think that ultimately in the long run his ideas are more accurate They're more like what he's saying is well thought through and his opinions are better considered I think when you can that What is with who though?
01:30:18.000I don't know either, but I think that when guys like Cenk do say things that are easily discredited when you say, like, look, you said this one thing two days ago when you were talking to Sam.
01:30:29.000Now you're saying something completely different when he's not here.
01:30:32.000That is so bad for people's perception of your ideas.
01:31:01.000You're held accountable for your ideas.
01:31:03.000And when your ideas are massively inconsistent and contrary, days later, and when you're expressing an idea that you have to know is incorrect.
01:31:29.000You know, look, Brian Williams made some stupid part ego mistake, part whatever you want to call it about being on the- They found like 15 different ones that they lied about.
01:31:40.000But everything being equal, they weren't like cataclysmic lies in the scheme of...
01:32:05.000And I think they're really similar the Brian Williams thing and that like both Original stories were actually pretty impressive and these guys doctored them up and turned them into this epic thing that ultimately Cost them a shitload of credibility if not all their credibility with Brian Williams He was actually in a fucking helicopter in Iraq the helicopter in front of him was shot at So,
01:33:27.000When I listen to his opinions about things, I unfortunately have to take into consideration that he's been massively inconsistent about this one thing.
01:35:24.000And look, if someone came on here, if I come on here and I said something that was profoundly dishonest or was smearing of someone else, I would never hear the end of it.
01:35:31.000And hopefully people would tag you on Twitter and you'd retweet the shit out of it until everybody had seen, you see what fucking Ruben did and whatever.
01:36:01.000That's how much time he spent on this topic.
01:36:04.000And they've made it sound like this is his fucking go-to position.
01:36:08.000And he's talking about a horrific scenario where some ISIS-type civilization has control of nuclear weapons and there's a real threat that they're going to use them on other people.
01:37:39.000Because then, all of a sudden, whatever goodwill and whatever love and appreciation people have for your ideas, that's going to go out the window when they find out that your ideas have been distorted.
01:37:53.000That your points of view, rather, of other people's ideas have been distorted.
01:38:29.000101. And then this guy online put together the actual conversation and Jamie's perception of the conversation, and it was, I forget, the Kielstein Delusion was the name of the video.
01:38:42.000And because of that, he received so much fucking hate.
01:38:46.000That made him aware of that, and he said it was like the low moment of his life, and he completely stopped doing that, and he doesn't do any of that shit anymore.
01:38:54.000And, you know, he's rebounded, and now he's happier than he's ever been before.
01:38:57.000But I think that that type of behavior is not just standard, it's accepted, it's almost expected.
01:39:04.000You know, it's like what they do, and if you're part of that victim culture, the perpetual victim culture, that's how you do it.
01:39:11.000You make it seem like people were yelling at you, and there was people, and they were so upset with me, and all I was yelling was trying to say that women shouldn't be raped.
01:39:46.000So in a case like you're talking about with Jamie, it's extremely validating that you create a space based on a certain amount of principles.
01:40:36.000And you've got to realize that when you distort people's perceptions or distort people's positions for your own personal benefit, you do yourself a horrible disservice because you now have ruined any validity, anything that you have said in the past that may resonate with people.
01:40:54.000You've ruined that because now you've poisoned that well.
01:40:58.000Yeah, so it can be so laid out clearly like this.
01:41:00.000Let's say, just two of the five things that Sam, you know, those controversial things.
01:41:15.000Sam would argue that because these are debatable ideas, we should debate them.
01:41:20.000So imagine if subsequently, so they do the three-hour sit-down, he and Cenk, and after that, instead of saying, he wants to profile Muslim people and blah, blah, blah, and all that bravado and bullshit and whatever, imagine if he had said, you know, Sam and I really disagree on this.
01:41:33.000I fear that Sam's use of anti-profiling or profiling, whatever you want to call it, I fear that ultimately it will lead...
01:41:43.000If, you know, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, I think that he's trying to do something good, but ultimately it's going to lead to Muslim people feeling persecuted, feeling like the other.
01:41:56.000If he had laid that out like that and had an intellectually honest, say, we believe different things here and that's okay...
01:43:04.000I've seen her distort a lot of facts on air, too, about different things.
01:43:08.000She gets very passionate, and I think, you know, sometimes she misses the mark on certain things, but she's a very good person, and I think she's ultimately, she has all the right intentions.
01:43:26.000It's like with a guy like Cenk, though, I think he's his own worst enemy in that regard because once you start doing that, then you have to sort of double down just to try to figure out a more eloquent way of reestablishing your position.
01:43:39.000And when you do that, people don't take you seriously anymore.
01:44:09.000With the value that you have in your name and your fans, they would follow you back.
01:44:14.000Yeah, a couple people would be like, fuck him.
01:44:16.000But people would go, and if you calmly explained what happened, you could.
01:44:19.000The problem with these guys is they've gone and they kept going and kept going and kept going.
01:44:23.000That they're so off the range now, in my view, there's nothing they could do to ever fix this situation.
01:44:28.000It's like a guy saying, I know where I'm going, but you really don't, and then you just keep saying, I know where you're going.
01:44:34.000You're lost further and further in the woods.
01:44:36.000Like, dude, you're so far from the fucking road now, you're going to have to shoot yourself and come back as a baby and live your life again.
01:44:41.000Because this is a disaster we've created.
01:44:53.000That's actually when I woke up this morning.
01:44:55.000And even when I went to bed last night, I was like in a great place.
01:44:58.000Because I was like, I knew I wanted to have this conversation.
01:45:01.000And I've had it in little bites on my show.
01:45:04.000But I don't like, you know, not that this has really been about me, because this is about some big stuff.
01:45:09.000But we're having a little more of a lofty thing here than I would...
01:45:13.000It is about you in a way because you're a part of this big stuff and also when you're doing your show like the Rubin Report, what you're doing is you're expressing yourself and you become a credible portal to these ideas and information.
01:45:29.000So it is about you in a way because it's about all of us and it's about your credibility as that portal.
01:47:44.000You know, there's just too many styles.
01:47:46.000There's too many different, you know, there's some different weird Filipinos, there's Silat, there's different stick-fighting styles, and like, you can't know everything.
01:47:56.000Well, not only you can't know anything, but if you want to see how the thing that you consider yourself an expert in, how it all sort of leads to one road, look, what you did with Mencia, Because you had a set of principles, right?
01:48:09.000You had a set of principles in something that you love, stand-up, right?
01:48:13.000I mean, is there anything you love more than stand-up besides wife and kids?
01:48:45.000The set of principles that are guiding you right now to do this show are the same principles that you use to defend your art in that moment, you know?
01:48:58.000The real problem with that Mencia thing was that the art form was being compromised, not just by him stealing from other people, but him creating an environment where people were terrified to express themselves.
01:49:11.000I mean, look at that social justice warrior, right?
01:49:13.000That's the same thing that they've done.
01:49:18.000You couldn't express yourself because he would steal those ideas and call them his own.
01:49:22.000There was literally a signal that people would do where you'd be on stage for five minutes, you had a 15-minute set, and all of a sudden, five minutes in, the light would be on.
01:49:40.000It was also the people that were running the comedy store were fucking retarded, as well as the people that were running these agencies were fucking retarded.
01:49:47.000The conversation that I had with my agents when they were telling me that I had to either apologize to Mencia or that they were going to drop me, I go, do you guys understand what you're doing?
01:49:57.000Because you're making a decision right now.
01:51:05.000But he was being put into position by the guy who owned the company, that like, look, this guy is calling me up saying he demands that Joe apologize to him, and he wants it to be a big deal, and I'm like, fuck you.
01:51:57.000He could have done some real damage to me.
01:51:59.000Well, I'm sure there's probably untold amount of Young Comics that he lifted from that you have no idea.
01:52:03.000Well, a lot of them contacted me while that was going on, and some of them didn't want to be named, and some of them didn't mind if I named them, but I think, honestly, that most likely he stole almost everything he did.
01:52:16.000And that he stole it from different sources and changed it around.
01:52:19.000But you've got that with a lot of comics.
01:52:21.000You've got that with a lot of really shitty comedians make it.
01:52:25.000And one of the ways they make it is they take other people's ideas and they move them around just enough.
01:52:31.000Look, Robin Williams, who's, you know...
01:52:34.000Has more talent or had more talent in his finger than I probably have in my whole body and that was well known yes you know I know I know a comic personally you probably know him too but I won't name him for the purpose of this but who Robin stole a bit from didn't and then he never told him but then just sent him a check I think he sent him a $15,000 check he did that to a lot of guys yeah well Robin was much better as a performer than he was as a creative guy yeah as someone who came up with the ideas Have you ever heard the phrase parallel evolution?
01:53:06.000I had a comic when I was working in New York that I worked with almost every night, and he started lifting from people, and we all kind of knew it, and he did exactly what you said.
01:53:13.000It was like he would take the premise, but then just tweak it enough that every time I'd be watching, I'd go...
01:53:21.000And one night I finally confronted him.
01:53:23.000He's still doing stand-up, by the way, and we've since become friends and he's sort of apologized and whatever.
01:53:27.000And he said to me one night, he goes, Dave, Dave, don't you know about parallel evolution?
01:53:32.000The premise being that these jokes just evolve over, you know, if you're talking about sort of current event type things, we're all going to, a certain amount of it's just going to evolve at the same time.
01:53:41.000And I said, I was about to say his name, but I said, I said, not only are you lifting jokes, you also made up a theory about If you could apply that sort of creative thinking to your jokes, maybe we wouldn't be in this problem.
01:53:54.000And that is part of the problem, is that a lot of these people, they have a self-defeating tendency.
01:53:59.000And that self-defeating tendency is that they're not willing to put in the work because they're afraid of failure.
01:54:03.000So instead, they see success and they just duplicate it.
01:54:07.000And they literally duplicate it in the premise.
01:54:09.000They duplicate the premises, they duplicate the pathway to getting to the end of the joke.
01:54:14.000But the one thing they can't duplicate is you.
01:54:19.000Whether it's stand-up or whether it's radio or on-air, what you have, the thing that at the end of the day they come to you is something that you can't really quantify.
01:54:29.000People understand a certain series of things about you that they like, so if the average person says, why do you like Rogan?
01:54:34.000They could lay out a couple things, but there's that other thing that just is there.
01:54:38.000They can't duplicate you, but in the case of a guy like Robin Williams, he can duplicate all the things that you do that people like.
01:54:45.000And that becomes a problem because if he goes on before you, and that was one of the Mencia things that he would do, he would steal someone's bit and then bring them on.
01:54:54.000Because at Comedy Store you tag team, which means you would go on and you would say, thank you very much, goodnight, alright, this next comic is, you know, and you'd bring up your friend.
01:55:02.000Right, so no MC. Yeah, no MC at the Comedy Store.
01:55:04.000And he would bring on guys right after he did their closing bit And he would do it to fuck with them.
01:55:09.000And he would do it because he had some power.
01:55:11.000And because the Mexican community is desperately looking for star comedians.
01:56:06.000Around whatever that was, maybe 89, 90, maybe a little later when he sold out the garden and when he was in that year of just sanity.
01:56:15.000I remember watching that and thinking like, this is incredible.
01:56:19.000Like it was one of the things that really sparked me with stand-up because even though I didn't love the material and I understood how stupid the jokes were sort of, but I was like, the power of this is fucking amazing.
01:56:30.000And so I went up to him at this party and I tapped him on the shoulder and I just said, Dave, comic, blah, blah.
01:57:38.000And it's a hilarious movie because, you know, ultimately this guy, you know, becomes this guy that the ladies love and then the potion starts wearing off and he goes back to being his nerdy self again.
01:58:19.000And think about the fact that if you watch that Madison Square Garden special, which it's all on YouTube, you can watch it, people are announcing the jokes before he even finishes the premise.
01:58:32.000That's where it showed to me the power of stand-up.
01:58:34.000I remember what got me into stand-up was I was four years old, I was six maybe, 1983, I saw Bill Cosby himself on HBO. And I was on the floor, even though I probably didn't even really understand what he was talking about, I thought this was the greatest thing ever.
01:58:52.000You know you're grown up, by the way, when your childhood hero becomes a serial rapist.
01:58:57.000Maybe the most successful serial rapist ever.
01:59:45.000So many from Chris Rock to Seinfeld to a zillion people credit that with like being one of their seminal things and the records and all that.
01:59:51.000And I saw Cosby maybe 10 years ago in Jersey.
02:00:15.000And everyone knew it, but he was such a master that it was like watching someone with clay.
02:00:22.000Because he could take the laughs before they were coming and then just change it enough to keep them going more.
02:00:27.000And they weren't yelling out the punchlines because it wasn't as, you know, like...
02:00:30.000It's didactic or just set as dice, but it was amazing to watch, to do comedy and invent your old bit that you've now reinvented a thousand times and they know it all, and it was as good as ever.
02:00:45.000Well, his old stuff, I mean, in the time, and that is a thing that you need to take into consideration when you watch stand-up, is that stand-up is sort of...
02:00:56.000And, like, that's why you can go back and listen to Lenny Bruce, who is arguably the most important stand-up comic ever, and he's not very funny.
02:01:53.000So I had Kelly Carlin on this week, who's George's daughter, who's a good friend of mine.
02:01:57.000And we talked about that and we related it all to everything else we've been talking about here, the social justice stuff and language and words and being afraid to hear certain ideas and all that.
02:02:07.000So it was a really, really interesting conversation.
02:02:10.000And I watched a bunch of George's stuff just in preparation.
02:02:50.000Well, he did a new special every year.
02:02:53.000So when you have that much material, you're going to have some hits and some misses, but he certainly had way more hits than he had misses.
02:03:00.000He had like a five-year, I think, sort of lull, I guess, maybe in the mid-90s or something, where I thought it became just too much about cursing and whatever.
02:04:22.000Which is really weird when you consider all the allegations that have surfaced since with him and transgender people and transsexuals and picking up hookers that were men.
02:04:50.000But, you know, it's funny that we try, as a society, like, so many of the people that, of course, that we admire, but that everyone admire, are comedians, because we're supposed to tell the truth.
02:05:00.000And then at the same time, comedians are often either the sad clown or severely emotionally crippled or wanting that approval thing before and all the lines that you were talking about.
02:06:02.000That probably took years off his life.
02:06:04.000We maybe still have George today if he didn't make that opinion.
02:06:05.000Come to think of it, I think he died later that day.
02:06:10.000But he said something that I thought was really great.
02:06:12.000He said, you know, he said, when I became a good comic was when I got over the need of Yeah.
02:06:18.000And I think that it's a good lesson for humans in general, just for people.
02:06:22.000Getting over whatever the need is of yourself, and we all struggle with this.
02:06:25.000Of course, I struggle with it as a person and as a comic and a host or whatever it is.
02:06:30.000We all have that shit and wanting all that approval, but when you can get over that and really do things for the right, clean reasons and at the same time live in a way that honors all those things that you stand up for,
02:07:00.000And I think also that process of the need, that's the fuel that gets you off the earth and away from the effects of gravity.
02:07:11.000And then the momentum of that sort of carries you on, but you don't necessarily have to keep that fucking jet engine fire under your asshole all the time.
02:07:23.000But doesn't that explain sort of like white angst and being fucked up or whatever, you know, when they say comics are all fucked up or whatever?
02:07:49.000But I constantly was avoiding the truth on stage.
02:07:53.000Or if I was getting heckled, there were easy ways that it would imply that I was straight.
02:07:58.000And I'm 100% sure there were times that I made it seem like I was straight or something like that.
02:08:03.000But that angst and that fuel really made me successful really quick.
02:08:09.000I was passed at the Comedy Cellar a year into doing stand-up.
02:08:13.000And then a couple years later, it basically all crumbled on me because I realized that my life, my person life, was way behind where my art was.
02:08:24.000And then I ended up doing gay shows, which is another fucking nightmare because if you're a gay comic, they have one at every club, right?
02:08:31.000There's sort of one stereotypical gay comic.
02:08:34.000And then suddenly I was the gay comic and I don't...
02:08:37.000Act that gay, whatever the hell that means, so I wasn't even gay enough for them.
02:08:40.000Then I ended up on a gay TV channel on Here TV, which was this, like, premium gay channel.
02:08:46.000And then I ended up on the gay channel on Sirius XM. I wanted to talk about politics, and instead I was fucking interviewing Real Housewives and, you know, all that shit.
02:08:56.000And it had nothing, nothing to do with anything I wanted to do.
02:09:00.000So everybody's path is crazy and weird.
02:09:04.000Well, your path's always going to be crazy and weird because we're human beings.
02:09:07.000And I think you're onto it as far as like this fucked up aspect of you that needs love so badly.
02:09:14.000You want to go on stage with a spotlight on you and a microphone to amplify your voice.
02:09:36.000And the trick is, your voice is amplified, you're on the stage, you've figured out the cadence and the hypnotic rhythm in order to get people to laugh at your stuff.
02:09:44.000But what are you actually trying to do?
02:09:46.000If you're still trying to fill holes, well, you fucking missed it, son.
02:09:50.000That's just supposed to get you to the dance.
02:09:52.000And once you're at the dance, then it's supposed to be about creating the art.
02:09:55.000Then it's supposed to be about trying to figure out what is the best way to make something really funny.
02:09:59.000What is the best way to make something so I contribute?
02:10:18.000The goal is to, you're changing the way people feel.
02:10:20.000And you can do that with ideas and you've got to work them through.
02:10:25.000Yeah, what gets you to the dance in the first place is your fucked up past.
02:10:29.000Your angst, your insecurities, all that shit.
02:10:33.000It's a matter of the people that cling to those things and never get rid of them, then they make it and they don't know what the fuck to do.
02:10:40.000So that's the really interesting part to me.
02:10:44.000So I lived on the Upper West, as I said before.
02:10:46.000Put this microphone closer to you so you'll hear people hear it more.
02:12:35.000And I don't think we're on the same network.
02:12:37.000I think it was ABC, but that doesn't matter.
02:12:40.000What matters is we were on the same lot.
02:12:42.000We were both on that Sunset Gower lot that I was talking about, and we were next door to each other, so I'd hang out with him.
02:12:47.000We're just fellow comics, and that's the bond that we shared.
02:12:51.000He had a lot more responsibility than me because I was on this giant ensemble where I was the We're good to go.
02:13:11.000And, you know, he went from that and then he, you know, was really a big part of Tough Crowd with Colin Quinn.
02:13:18.000And there's that great moment where he shut down Dennis Leary on Tough Crowd.
02:13:22.000It was like one of my all-time favorite moments on Tough Crowd because, you know, Dennis was getting upset that Greg Giraldo had written jokes.
02:13:30.000He had funny things to say about certain things.
02:13:33.000He goes, yeah, Dennis, that's what we do.
02:15:10.000And then I went into, I had never been to one of the stores, one of the dispensaries, went in there for, I still can't believe, I've only been there a couple times now, but I can't believe, like, just the level of, it's a real salesperson, you know, and candy and edibles and oil.
02:17:06.000Because with the UFC, look, I have a bio when I do the UFC, which will tell me a fighter's record, tell me who they're training with, but when the matches are going on, I'm not leafing through papers.
02:17:18.000If I start talking about a fight that happened seven years ago in another organization, it's because it's in my head.
02:17:25.000You know, and when I talk to people, they're like, what kind of preparation do you do?
02:17:28.000I'm like, I'm not doing any preparation.
02:17:29.000The preparation, well, I am, but I'm not.
02:17:32.000The preparation that I'm doing, I would do anyway.
02:17:34.000I want to watch their fights because I know they're coming up.
02:17:36.000So I'll watch their shit if I need to know about some of their training methods.
02:17:40.000But those are things that I will do because I'm curious about, I want to broaden my understanding of what their preparation is.
02:17:49.000Because I want to enjoy the fight more, and I'll enjoy the fight more if I do that, and then I express that.
02:18:53.000And not only do you immediately do it, you can immediately scroll and see, and approval, approval, approval, they love me, they love me, they hate me, they love me, whatever it is.
02:19:01.000And all of that, and it goes to what we started with this whole thing about, and six second videos, and all of this shit, and this bounce back of why people like this now, is because all of this I really think is, they've done studies where it's actually rewiring synapses and all of this stuff.
02:19:27.000They're worried that older people of our generation and before are going to have real issues with their neck because they're always looking down.
02:19:35.000In looking down like that, you're stretching the ligaments and stretching your neck and putting pressure on your discs.
02:19:42.000I feel that I feel even when I'm holding my iPad I feel like I've done something to my pinky like my pinky has like a little I'm not kidding like I've got like two little indentations here because I'm holding this thing all the time like this You know I mean really people you do all kinds of weird you know if you're writing I'm a lefty so like If I'm writing like I have a little indentation on my index finger because the pen is always lying there like you actually can physically change your body by some of this Unquestionably.
02:20:10.000I used to have, from writing, from drawing, I used to have a big callus on the inside of my fuck you finger.
02:21:21.000She said when you're staring at one distance all the time, like the distance between your face and your laptop or your face and your phone, is that your eyes are supposed to look at close things and far things and look at this broad range of distances.
02:21:36.000And instead, you're only looking at something right in front of your face, and it fucks with literally the shape of your eye.
02:22:10.000Yeah, so, I mean, really think about that, how we've changed in 100 years, and as you were talking about earlier, about how the internet's going to change us, and we're learning so much more faster and all that, that now it's so involved in this digital...
02:22:22.000I mean, it's the matrix is becoming real.
02:22:25.000Like, ultimately, we're just the batteries for these things to keep going.
02:22:29.000You know, like, we're just putting information.
02:22:33.000We're putting whatever our spirit is, whatever you want to call that, is just the battery for this digital thing to exist.
02:23:18.000And I think that Elon Musk and what he said about summoning the demon in the form of artificial intelligence, I don't think that's off at all.
02:23:25.000I think there's gonna come a time, whether it's a hundred years or a thousand years, Human life and the biological limitations of our own cellular bodies, it's going to be ridiculous.
02:24:25.000And all we are are just a tiny rock that had the right...
02:24:28.000Distance from the sun and the right amount of chemicals to make all this shit happen.
02:24:32.000We're going to find something that's going to be similar to this, but maybe it'll all be 10 degrees hotter.
02:24:37.000And because of that, everything will have evolved slightly differently.
02:24:40.000Or maybe, you know, you could pick like I Love Star Wars, you could pick any of those planets, you know, like it just evolved differently.
02:24:46.000There'll be a planet that's, you know, mostly water and we'll have to eventually learn how to deal with that unless the guys get here first and kill us.
02:24:54.000That is possible, but I think that our own biological limitations, our own organisms, are so acutely adapted to this environment, to the environment of planet Earth, that it would be insanely difficult for us to colonize another planet.
02:25:11.000Insanely problematic when it comes to dealing with whatever life is already there, dealing with the environment.
02:25:25.000We have a shitty old car, and we're like, let's just abandon it and leave it on the lawn and move to the neighbor's house.
02:25:32.000I mean, that's really the idea, but the neighbor's house is on fire all the time, and it gets pelted with asteroids.
02:25:37.000I think we're going to put all of our effort into flying to some other planet, and on the way there, their sun's going to supernova, and then we're going to blow up in the middle of space, and all hope will be lost.
02:26:05.000And again, I'm not a scientist, but even if we cut our greenhouse gases here in America and we do all this stuff, India, these developing nations, China, they're going through what we went through 60 years ago.
02:26:15.000So when we have the UN meet and try to get everybody to come up with numbers that we're going to allow to put out this much smog and this much all this bullshit...
02:26:24.000It's like, what right do we have to tell them not to do everything they can to advance just the way we did 50 years ago?
02:26:32.000So it's funny, and I live in West Hollywood.
02:27:42.000I think that a thousand years from now, who the fuck knows what kind of technological capabilities we're going to have as far as our ability to not just not create waste, but to use up all the waste that we have created and use it in a positive way.
02:27:57.000Just because you burn gasoline, it creates pollution.
02:28:00.000It doesn't mean that's the only way you can get energy.
02:28:03.000And just because pollution is in the air, carbon dioxide is hitting record levels, it doesn't mean that can't be maintained or regulated.
02:28:10.000I think there's got to be a way that people can figure out how to live sustainably.
02:28:15.000If it's possible to live sustainably in a small community, it's possible to live sustainably globally.
02:28:20.000So when you do it for yourself, like when you hunt for your meat, and you were telling me you have chickens before, when you do all that stuff, do you feel that you're doing it For yourself?
02:28:29.000Or you're doing it for your community?
02:29:29.000When I eat a steak that I cut from an elk myself, that is such a different feeling than when you go to the supermarket and you get something of ambiguous origins and plastic wrapped container and you just take it home.
02:29:43.000You cut open the plastic and slap it on the grill and I'm out here grilling like a man.
02:29:47.000So you know at Trader Joe's that when you get just chopped meat from Trader Joe's, it comes from four different countries.
02:29:54.000They have four countries of origin on it.
02:31:48.000On other ones, if I'm traveling, I'm flying, what I can do is do a lot of it and then bring the remaining pieces, I'll quarter it, and bring the quarters to a meat processor and ask them to turn into steaks or turn into sausage or have things like that done.
02:32:04.000But the big cuts, like the back straps and the tenderloins and stuff like that, I do all that myself.
02:32:09.000The heart and the liver, I cut all that stuff out myself and then I bring it with me.
02:32:13.000I freeze it and You know, if you want to see how crazy the food system is, also you could check, you know, there's so many documentaries on this, but the amount of laws that we have that protect the factory farming from simple things like having cameras in where the chickens are.
02:32:34.000Because if you watch their commercials, and this goes to what we're talking about with the drugs and the happy people during the day, and then they're having diarrhea and killing each other, whatever.
02:32:42.000Like the Purdue commercials, you got this guy come out, he's hanging out with chickens.
02:32:47.000You know, he's talking to them, oh, there's Bernadette.
02:34:02.000Between feeding these animals all sorts of shit that they shouldn't be eating.
02:34:07.000Have you ever drove up, I think it's a five, if you're driving up towards San Francisco, you pass Harris Ranch?
02:34:12.000So Harris Ranch, I think, if I'm not mistaken, it's the largest meat producer in the United States, or the largest meat producing ranch in the United States.
02:34:22.000And when you pass it, they call it Kauschwitz.
02:35:00.000Like, when you have a community of 20 million people, like Los Angeles, and none of them are growing their own food, they're going to need food.
02:35:06.000And where's that food going to come from?
02:35:07.000It's going to come from somebody else that grows that food.
02:35:09.000And, well, how are they going to grow that food?
02:35:11.000They're going to grow that food in the most cost-effective and efficient way possible, which means stuff these fucking animals into these cages unless you demand something different.
02:35:20.000And, well, if you do demand something different, you're going to have a higher price because then these companies aren't going to be making much money.
02:35:25.000So they're going to have to charge more money for the meat, and then people can afford it, and then it becomes a problem.
02:35:29.000But if you want to be able to go to In-N-Out Burger, or In-N-Out is not a good example because it takes a little time, but like Jack in the Box.
02:35:35.000Pull in, get a ground-up beef sandwich within 30 seconds.
02:35:41.000Like, there's only one way to do that.
02:35:43.000You know, you got to do it with a massive factory.
02:35:46.000You have to be churning these fuckers out, hanging them by their ankles and putting piston, you know, through their brain every 30 seconds.
02:35:54.000I mean, that's got to be chunk, chunk, chunk, chunk.
02:35:56.000You got to be constantly whacking them out because there's so many people that are hungry.
02:36:04.000It's one of the things that I bring on Cara to talk about our food sources and the way that these, you know, we're eating sick animals and then we wonder why we're sick.
02:36:11.000Like, it's all, of course it's all connected.
02:36:13.000You open up a thing of meat and it's gray.
02:36:21.000It's like, the level of our discourse in America and the level of the nonsense on cable news and they can keep us distracted With Kim Davis issues and they keep us distracted just with all of this nonsense.
02:36:34.000And I don't think it's necessarily like some big conspiracy of keeping us distracted as much as it's what we are as humans.
02:37:29.000What are you going to do about all that stuff?
02:37:31.000Are you going to look into that, or are you just going to flush your shit down the toilet and hope the guy at the other end knows what to do?
02:37:36.000That's essentially what it boils down to, this super complicated civilization that has been created.
02:37:43.000You could say we've created, but we're riding on the momentum of the people that came before us.
02:37:49.000And those people that came before us oftentimes didn't know what the fuck they were doing, didn't plan for the future, certainly didn't think that.
02:37:55.000I mean, when I was a kid, okay, in the 1970s, there was like 100 million less people in this country.
02:38:17.000It's an exploding population of China.
02:38:20.000Massive population to the point where they're trying to limit the amount of babies that people have.
02:38:25.000We live in a very, very strange time in that people are awakening to all the problems that have been created by this massive amount of people and this incredible need for resources.
02:38:37.000But at the same time, you're working eight hours a day plus, plus commuting, plus hobbies, plus sexual needs and entertainment needs and friendships and every pull and push and, oh, well,
02:38:53.000you've got to have civic responsibility.
02:40:09.000You can get a cheap one for like, well, I think there's a company called Zen Float that makes a small personal one that Duncan has in his house, and I think that one is still fairly expensive, but it's like $1,500.
02:40:21.000I got the top-of-the-line bad mama-jama float lab version, which is like $30,000.
02:40:57.000I don't want to brag, but it's an L. It's pretty sweet.
02:41:00.000I was reading this thing that they were talking about people, they experience more satisfaction in the ownership of things like Ikea, because even though it's not like good furniture, it's not like the best furniture, the fact that they put it together themselves gives them a sense of satisfaction.
02:41:16.000That I think we're kind of missing in part of our culture.
02:41:20.000Like, someone who built their own house and built their own furniture, and they sit in their own house, their own furniture, probably gets, like, a deep feeling of satisfaction about that.
02:41:28.000Well, I can tell you, as someone that has almost all Ikea...
02:41:41.000I finally, for the first time in this past...
02:41:44.000It's really in the past six months and only in the last couple months that I really feel like I'm sort of on the other side for the first time.
02:41:48.000And I know that that feeling never goes away and I probably just jinxed it horribly.
02:41:57.000I really have something and know what I'm saying and know what I'm doing and being rewarded for it financially and personally and by my audience and stuff.
02:42:08.000But I'm not rolling into it by any stretch.
02:43:08.000But, you know, I'm joking, but also there's a lot of truth in that.
02:43:13.000That I feel like it sort of started working, and I was just looking around my place the other day like, maybe the next phase will be a little bit more...
02:44:06.000Or am I going to get one of them crazy Indian weaves where you have the yarn, you pull it through and you push it down and make your own cloth.
02:44:17.000That place on the other side where you've sort of built what you wanted to build and your life and your work and all of it is sort of lined up?
02:44:33.000I don't worry about money, but I worry about work in that I want to make sure that everything I'm doing is good.
02:44:39.000Whether it's podcasts or whether it's stand-up or whether it's doing my commentary, I always want to make sure that I'm not doing bad stuff and that if I have done something that's not that good, I make sure that that doesn't happen ever again.
02:44:51.000Or that if it does happen again, I learn from that one too and it gets better even there.
02:45:02.000And I also remember the moment that that went away, how free it was.
02:45:07.000Like, I got a development deal when I was like, I don't know how many years in the economy, but it was like 93. And I got a big check from Disney, of all people.
02:45:16.000And all of a sudden, I didn't have to worry about how I was paying my rent.
02:45:20.000All of a sudden, for at least the next year or so, or a couple years, it was paid.
02:45:37.000They live their life from cradle to the grave, constantly under the pressure of bills, check to check.
02:45:43.000And that freedom of not worrying about your bills is massive.
02:45:48.000And people trip themselves up by putting themselves in debt and by getting in over their Mm-hmm.
02:46:15.000Yeah, but I was trying to do it, and I was worried about making money at the same time.
02:46:19.000And as soon as the worry about making money kind of goes away, then you're left with a pure sense of why you're doing it.
02:46:27.000So isn't that, for all the things that now we put out there, podcasts, video, audio, all that stuff, owning your brand, all the things that you do...
02:49:48.000Listen, we're almost out of time, but really, before we leave, I have to talk to you about one thing that you told me that I think is, and when you do start doing well, then they're your buddy.
02:49:56.000It's an incestuous, weird, fucking very strange, codependent relationship.
02:50:01.000Wait, you're saying the people in this town can be fair-weather friends?
02:50:06.000Listen, we're almost out of time, but I really, before we leave, I have to talk to you about one thing that you told me that I think is incredibly fascinating.
02:50:14.000You came out literally to someone for the very first time the day before September 11th.
02:51:18.000And that's what I was doing because I had my life that everyone knew.
02:51:22.000And then I had this secret life where I was out, you know, hooking up and I was lying to people constantly, even though I never intended to lie.
02:51:31.000I would be somewhere and I'd bump into a friend and I'd be with a guy, a gay person, and I could just, oh, that's my cousin.
02:51:41.000I never intended to lie to people or it just became this really horrible game of cat and mouse and I was depressed and I was smoking a lot of pot and all this shit.
02:53:14.000Like, if you can't express your love properly, if you can't, you know, that's why we started this whole thing talking about all these guys that are jacked and working out all the time and whatever.
02:53:23.000It's like, that's why I said it's very sad to me because these are people who could not express a very human thing in a proper way.
02:53:30.000So they end up acting out at 45 in a way that they should have acted when they were 15, you know?
02:53:35.000Or they're partying and having a great time and you're a hater.
02:53:40.000Well, Milo, who you had on a couple weeks ago, and I had him on the day or two after, I mean, we argued about that.
02:53:45.000Me as the liberal, the gay married liberal, who's for that traditional thing, and him as the off-the-wall British gay conservative who's against gay marriage because he wants to talk about drugs and partying and sex and whatever.
02:54:51.000The way I dealt with coming out was I would tell someone and then I would get this little burst of feeling better.
02:54:56.000I would suddenly, because I was constricting my heart, and when I would tell someone, it would open up a little and I'd feel better and I really could feel like I could breathe better, really felt better.
02:55:06.000And then I would wait until that pressure would start building again.
02:55:09.000Sometimes I would wait months and then I would tell someone.
02:55:12.000And then I would do this over the course of two years.
02:55:15.000And then eventually I realized, I was like, every time I tell somebody It's a weird secret because the people that do care,
02:55:33.000that don't like it, they're not worth knowing.
02:56:08.000So a lot of times people will say to me, you know, you act straight or you're straight acting or something, which in the gay community is thought of as like this great thing, you know, that if you're straight acting, you're masculine, it's really great.
02:56:59.000I realized that if I felt better when I told people, that there had to be some value in that, in a way that I couldn't understand things.
02:57:07.000But to the straight acting, it means nothing to me.
02:57:10.000When I meet guys that are completely flaming, or if I meet guys that you'd have no idea, I like people based on their values and their sense of humor and shit like that.
02:57:24.000That's sort of a great way to bring this all around, because...
02:57:26.000That gets away from judging people on what you're supposed to think about them and all that social justice warrior and regressive bullshit versus judging people on the content of their character.
02:57:36.000And also, it gets back to what we were saying earlier, that it's just being aware socially, being a good person to communicate with versus being socially retarded and just looking for those Ben Affleck brownie moments.
02:57:48.000Let me toss in one other thing that sort of ties into this really nicely.
02:57:51.000So one time when I was on The Young Turks, I'm not going to mention names here, but I was on and they were showing a clip from Fox News and they were talking about how the black host, that he was such a token black guy.
02:58:23.000This happened a little bit after that whole Sam Harris thing.
02:58:25.000But that was another moment when I realized how perverse...
02:58:28.000This whole regressive thing is that here you have people on the left that are supposed to be about ideas, looking at the color of that guy's skin and saying, well, because you don't believe what I think you're supposed to believe as a black person.
02:58:45.000You know, like, when they show, like, a Republican convention and there's one black guy applauding, you know, like, oh, there's the token black guy.
02:58:50.000But I realized that's actually racism.
02:58:52.000Like, that was really a seminal moment for me that really changed my thinking.