This week, the boys are joined by writer/comedian Judah Freelander to talk about his new book "How to Beat Up Anybody" and much, much more. They also talk about the horrors of being in a wheelchair, and the perils of being a woman in the sex industry. Also, we talk about how to beat up a girl who wants to get naked with you, and why you should be happy you get to see a woman's tits. And, of course, there's a little bit of everything in between. Enjoy the episode, and spread the word to your friends about it! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. All rights reserved. Used by permission. The opinions stated here are our own, not those of our companies, unless otherwise stated. We do not own the rights to any music used in this episode. This episode was produced, produced, written, and produced by us, and edited by us. We are not affiliated with any of our parent companies, record labels, or any of their respective record labels. Thank you for any amount you choose to spend on this podcast. If you have a dilemma, please reach out to us directly or indirectly through our patron(s) via our website or social media platforms. We appreciate the support us in any way we can do our best to help us make the podcast a better listening experience. We do our very best to make the best listening experience possible. and we appreciate the feedback we can get the most out of our listeners the best possible listening experience we can receive. Thank you all of the support we can be heard and support us. in the best of our efforts. - Thank you. Thanks for listening and support the most respectful review, reviews, support us, we really appreciate it. Love you, love you, thank you, appreciate you, truly appreciate it, and we really do appreciate it - Matt, Matt, and all of your support is much more than you can do that. xoxoxo - Matt and all the best, bye. Matt, Jeff, Matt and Dan, Jack, Rachael, etc. <3 & the boys. ~ and the boys at the boys - - Jake, Jake, Raffy, etc.,
00:00:32.000You know what you could do, though, for sure, is you could sell those, like the ones that you've worn for a long time, and people would gobble it up.
00:01:42.000And it's like a 208-page photo joke book, basically.
00:01:46.000And then, yeah, this is a new book that just came out, called If the Raindrops United, which is a book of drawings and cartoons that I did.
00:01:54.000Mostly single-panel cartoons, and most of them are comedy, but I'd say probably 40% Of the ones that are comedy are kind of like dark satire on big issues, whether it's like...
00:05:10.000I mean, at a certain point in time, it becomes stupid.
00:05:12.000If it's the thing that everybody wants the most, if you, across the board, what do people desire more than anything?
00:05:19.000At a certain time in their life, it's going to be sex.
00:05:22.000Obviously, it's food and rest and shelter and, you know, everyone wants to have a comfortable life and good friends and all that stuff, but...
00:05:29.000Everyone who's sexually active, whose body works, it's functional, they want sex.
00:05:35.000Even people whose bodies aren't functional, they still want that.
00:05:39.000And if you look at all advertising, for no matter what product it is, it's usually sex is the subtext of what they're selling.
00:05:46.000So here's someone that's openly and honestly selling it, and then yet they get discriminated against.
00:10:45.000Kind of, probably in the world, you know, that where, in general, when you're working those two cities on a nightly basis where there's multiple comics per show, you're basically working for free or very little money.
00:10:58.000So you're doing it for the love of it, and everyone is, you know.
00:11:02.000And everyone's doing it also because it's like these fueling stations, like the cellar or the stand or the store and these places where you go and all the other comics are there and we all kind of fuel up, you know?
00:11:16.000Yeah, and also comedy is something you can't practice.
00:12:10.000But yeah, so I'll usually have a thought, or like a sentence, or maybe it'll be like a one-liner, and then I get on stage, and then if it gets a laugh, then I immediately am thinking, alright, how do I extend this and take it in another direction and get another laugh?
00:13:17.000Even though you don't have to do that sort of preparation, the sitting in front, going over all the material, when I do do that, everything comes out better.
00:13:27.000I think you've got to work offstage and onstage, but I tend to work a little...
00:13:31.000I saw that Seinfeld documentary, and it seems like he works almost completely offstage, like his act is written, and then he goes up and says it.
00:13:41.000That's what it seemed like from the documentary.
00:15:37.000And you can, like, come up with a world record.
00:15:39.000Yeah, there's the group that does that, where they come up with ridiculous things that nobody else is doing, and then, you know, it would be like a light rock, you know, juggling three of these the longest you did it, and then you get a world record.
00:15:54.000Well, didn't Dane Cook, was it Dane or was it Chappelle, who did the world record for the longest show?
00:16:00.000I think they both had it at various times, and then one of them broke the other.
00:18:56.000You know, that still is the greatest athlete and stuff.
00:18:59.000But it may not be talking about that, but he's become a person who is a champion of the world...
00:19:04.000For the rights of the people of the world so so recently like the past I started doing shows in Europe about four years ago and It really kind of opened up my mind And my point of view because you know when you're in a bad relationship Like you can't see it,
00:19:22.000but all your friends can see it because you're like too close Yeah, but then if you step out then you can like a couple years later.
00:19:28.000You're like what the fuck was I doing, you know and So when I started performing shows like in England and other countries in Europe, I initially thought, oh, I'm going to be learning a lot about these countries.
00:19:39.000But what I really started learning about a lot was my own country.
00:19:42.000Because you're able to see how other people live, step away from the way you've been living, and physically be farther away.
00:19:48.000So I sort of just started seeing some of the hypocrisies and the ridiculousness of...
00:19:54.000You know, just the culture and the laws that we have, the bullshit with the government.
00:19:59.000And so I started talking more about, you know, the past few years, bigger issues, whether it's, you know, classism, racism, you know, different kinds of things.
00:20:09.000So, and I try to, I still try to You know do it from the same ridiculous and absurd angles that my act has always kind of been But now with you know dealing with like big issues like that because I've always liked doing like dark twisted Crazy shit,
00:20:26.000you know in my material and finding laughs in dark places And so now with like if I do if I'm doing bits about racism I love it because I love how uncomfortable the audience gets.
00:20:41.000Like if I'm doing bits about, like I have one bit about terminology about black people, should it be called blacks, should it be called African-American, you should see, like usually the black people are, they're a little uncomfortable at first, but then they're fine.
00:20:53.000The white people are almost always terrified to be even discussing this.
00:20:58.000And that's where I like to, I like to get comedy out of those situations.
00:21:01.000You know, I've never been the guy who likes to get it out of the easy spot.
00:22:12.000So they have something in common, but they're so passionate about, you know, we want our guns, we don't want the guns, that they don't actually see that they actually have more common ground than they think.
00:22:22.000I mean, that's not what I preach in my act, but, you know, I take that...
00:22:26.000You know, that knowledge beforehand that these people actually agree more than they disagree.
00:22:30.000You know, it's how they go about solving the issue that they disagree.
00:22:34.000Well, I think when we set up two opposing camps, like the right and the left, Democrats and Republicans, you know, you almost always have these artificial barriers that are like set up in place for people reaching common ground.
00:22:51.000It's already good guys versus bad guys, no matter which side you're at.
00:22:54.000The left has their ideas, and you have to oppose them if you're on the right, even if they make sense.
00:22:59.000Yeah, what I think has gotten, and I think this has gotten worse, and I think some of it is due to the internet, which we were talking about a little bit before the podcast started, where it's like nuance is gone.
00:23:13.000It's like, even on the internet, on Twitter, if you say one thing, if you do one tweet, and one person or one group gets offended, you are demonized forever.
00:23:25.000It's like you can't, it's like you'll never be the same.
00:24:02.000You know a lot of times especially if it's a joke yeah, you know like there's so much More that you could say about that subject that would give like it would sort of fill it all in yeah I go here's Judah's actual perspective on this right, but instead You know they take 70 characters that you thought would be kind of funny to put out right like you piece of shit How dare you say that about yeah blank you know and the fact that people Come to a judgment About someone's entire being immediately and
00:24:32.000then don't even want to discuss things.
00:24:35.000It's like you can't progress if you can't discuss things.
00:24:38.000Well, I think you're dealing with what you're calling progressives.
00:24:42.000People that call themselves progressives are almost...
00:24:45.000Many people on the left, or we're using labels again for lack of a better term, are more fascist than people on the right.
00:24:54.000Fascism can come from both sides, you know, and with freedom of speech, People can, and I'm someone who's, for human rights, 100% and always standing up for the underdog.
00:25:05.000There's actually a cartoon to this one.
00:25:06.000The term fascist, I used to think this too, but I think the term fascist actually deals with conservative issues.
00:25:12.000I think, I'm pretty sure, like, Jamie, pull up the definition of fascist.
00:25:16.000Yeah, I'm forgetting, because I've looked it up before, too.
00:25:18.000Because people use it, I think people use it incorrectly, because they just assume it's like...
00:25:24.000But I have this one cartoon here in the book, and it's at a college campus, and it says, Smoking Awareness Week.
00:25:32.000On the right, you have a good lung, which is white, and a bad lung, which is black.
00:25:36.000And underneath, they say, this poster's racist.
00:26:53.000There's not in the concept of discussing something.
00:26:57.000And also, when you talk to people who disagree with you on something, that's when you can really learn about their point of view and your point of view.
00:27:05.000I think also what we're dealing with is there's a lot of people now that were marginalized before and didn't have a viewpoint, maybe in high school and maybe even in college.
00:27:14.000And now, because of the internet, they've found like-minded people, they've banded together, and they really become sort of thought bullies.
00:27:41.000If I still think differently explain my my point of view to them so that they can see it Yeah, I don't people just it's like they just want to fight.
00:27:49.000They just want to shame and fight Well, they want to attack because they're afraid of being attacked themselves first That's a lot of what's going on.
00:27:58.000That's part of what I teach in my book, How to Beat Up Anybody, is self-offense.
00:28:28.000Like, as soon as when people start clapping, I'm like, guys, just stop that.
00:28:31.000That's actually offensive to people without hands.
00:28:34.000And then I'll say, I said, I'd like to apologize for wearing a hat.
00:28:38.000That's offensive to our friends in the headless community.
00:28:40.000You know, just making fun of the people who are, like, way too piecing.
00:28:44.000I had this woman, Christina Summers, who's a feminist, and she calls herself a factual feminist.
00:28:50.000She kind of fights against a lot of ridiculous ideology that's going around in the quote-unquote feminist community where they're spouting false statistics and fake studies or studies that are not real or very biased.
00:29:02.000Well, within the feminist movement, there's many different factions.
00:29:07.000Fuck, I forgot what I was going to say.
00:29:33.000Everyone's got some kind of weird sort of cold.
00:29:35.000She was saying that she does these shows where people give speeches and they don't want people clapping because they think clapping will trigger people that have been beaten before.
00:29:48.000So like hearing this will trigger the idea of you being beaten.
00:30:00.000And you know, the original, I think when the beatniks in the 60s in New York used to do the snapping, that was because they were having illegal shows, and if they all applauded, that would, the neighbor, people who lived, you know, on the upstairs or next door,
00:30:15.000would hear the applaud, then they'd call the cops and shut them down.
00:30:30.000It's because they had illegal speakeasies where there were like after-hour shows going on and shit.
00:30:35.000My mom used to have this really cool lamp in her house that was made with like lead and stained glass and it was from an original speakeasy from the prohibition.
00:32:18.000When I was driving here, I just heard it on the radio.
00:32:22.000In Porter Ranch, there's some kind of gas leak.
00:32:26.000Yeah, and they just got this camera the special camera that can like see gas and it's like they like the Government of the Authority said no it's not leaking and someone got this special camera that can like see gas and it's still going everywhere in Porter Ranch and 700 and 700 families have moved out and And they're like trying to like fight the government and sue the government or that plant or whatever that's doing it.
00:34:47.000You know, people don't want to admit this, but this sort of is what's going on with a lot of folks when it comes to this whole transgender thing.
00:34:55.000The idea that you identify with something, like being normal and healthy, and this is the extreme of that.
00:35:03.000You're right now you cannot look at that and not think that guy is out of his fucking mind But when I tweeted it then I watched all the other people that are commenting on and online and there's people that are very supportive of the transgender community and very supportive of transgender rights and they they've hit this wall of Ridiculousness.
00:35:35.000What do you say about that guy who wants to be a woman, or this guy who thinks he's a fox, or this guy who, you know, I'm a raccoon kin.
00:35:43.000I mean, people are out of their fucking mind, and that's something we're going to have to come to grips with in this And that's okay to be out of your mind.
00:35:51.000We're trying to be progressive and we're trying to be as open-minded and accepting of diversity as possible.
00:36:28.000Because sometimes she was completely normal.
00:36:31.000And then sometimes she, it was like she had no vocabulary and would speak in broken English.
00:36:39.000And like, I would just be talking about something and be like, yeah, I saw this thing on CNN. And then she'd go, what's CNN? I'm like, well, you have to know what CNN is.
00:36:48.000You grew up in New York City and you don't know what CNN is?
00:36:53.000And then another point, like, I was talking about the New York Jets game, and she's like, what are the Jets?
00:37:00.000And I'm like, how do you, you grew up here in New York, how do you not know, even if you don't watch football, you're going to see an ad that's on a bus that's driving by or something.
00:37:11.000And then at one point, we're sitting in my car, and she's talking normal, like Queen's accent, and then she starts talking all of a sudden in broken English, like, hi, how are you?
00:37:41.000But she said to me, she had something really serious she needs to tell me, but she can't say it until after I... Say to her that I want to be in a committed relationship with her, just the two of us.
00:37:58.000So I noticed, like, when she would start changing her voice, talking about broken English, it was almost like her vocabulary got worse, too.
00:38:04.000So I actually think she had split personality disorder, where one was like she was like a little girl.
00:40:16.000Sometimes when I see stuff now, I still...
00:40:18.000Like the superhero movies, it'll be like, okay, here's Robert Downey Jr. talking to Mark Ruffalo, and then they put on their superhero costumes, and then it's like watching a cartoon.
00:40:29.000I never feel like it's Robert Downey Jr. in that suit when he's flying around and punching shit.
00:40:35.000Yeah, that's why they have to do the cutaway to his face with all the lights on it because he's got the mask on.
00:40:40.000I kind of lose believability with that stuff.
00:40:45.000I sat down with my kids the other day, and we watched King Kong, the 1933 version of King Kong.
00:44:28.000I think it would be so cool to go back in time and to try to be like an actor in those times and be in the silent movies and then crush it and then get in talkies.
00:44:43.000I thought about actually just living back then, like if you were born back then.
00:44:48.000I wonder how much of a representation, how accurate the representation of people were in those films as to what they were really like in real life.
00:44:58.000Because it's hard when you see people talking like that.
00:45:12.000I think if you look at There's a bunch of stuff that happens in those movies that you don't see today, like in movies, or you definitely don't see on television shows.
00:45:48.000Yeah, it's interesting because I think when you look at something from like 1933, even though I don't think that's exactly how they behaved, it gives you a window into the culture.
00:47:54.000You can't keep your kid from bad feelings.
00:47:56.000And the lower-income kids who grow up lower-income, they don't have that issue.
00:47:59.000Because they're like, you know, they're still barefoot, and it'll be a five-year-old kid riding an adult 10-speed, you know, with no helmet on.
00:48:06.000You know, it's like, that's like, when I lived way out in Queens, you'd see that shit all the time, you know, like, you know, a Latino kid just, you know.
00:48:13.000Literally like four years old and he's on a 10-speed, no shoes, just cruising down the fucking street.
00:48:29.000That'd be like an adult riding like a 10-foot bicycle.
00:48:31.000Well, New York is interesting in that way that you get to see so many different styles of parenting, so many different styles of just living, all jammed into one area, stacked on top of each other, different boroughs, but all in the sort of same central location.
00:48:55.000Well, I deal with that some of my book here where it's like you go to...
00:48:58.000Like, one block will literally have, there's a CVS right next to a Rite Aid, and then a block away there's a Walgreens, and then there's, like, five banks, like, on that block.
00:49:09.000And that's, like, that's all there is.
00:51:21.000I mean, it's kind of crazy if you look at...
00:51:25.000I mean, how much of the same laws are still in place that allowed them to do that and allowed them to set up the whole subprime mortgage loan crisis thing?
00:51:35.000When you look at what that actually was, it was like a gigantic pump and dump scheme for the whole country.
00:51:43.000It's just crazy that no one went to jail.
00:51:46.000Well, that's another thing where both parties, they're not that different.
00:51:54.000They get marketed as they're so different, but they're really not that different.
00:51:57.000They basically work for whoever has the most money.
00:52:48.000It's like the news has always taken, oh, I don't know, how does he keep being ahead?
00:52:53.000I'm like, you're all he fucking shows.
00:52:55.000It's like he's getting hours of free advertisement every fucking day.
00:52:59.000I've never seen a political campaign where they actually go, breaking news, Trump's giving a speech in Iowa, and they just show the whole fucking speech for an hour.
00:53:08.000Yeah, well, they're hoping he says something wacky about Muslims.
00:53:10.000Right, and that's never happened before, where they actually just show an entire campaign speech, you know?
00:53:15.000And then, like, wow, I wonder why the other Republicans don't have that much votes, because you don't even fucking show 30 seconds of their campaign speech.
00:54:31.000I don't feel like he's a real serious candidate.
00:54:33.000Yeah, you almost hope it's, like, in six months, he's gonna not, he's gonna withdraw and just say the entire thing was, like, some kind of bizarre performance art thing, you know?
00:55:33.000I think that should be the way with, you know, 90% of the news, you know, because it's just, you know, it's not about giving you real news.
00:56:28.000But I think today, it's sort of opened the door for all these alternative news sources.
00:56:33.000Yeah, if you want to get real news, you really have to put effort in.
00:56:37.000It's not going to just show up on your television.
00:56:39.000Well, the internet is a fantastic resource now because you can get all sorts of unbiased perspectives and perspectives from all these different sides.
00:56:46.000You can also get misinformation, so you've got to be careful.
00:56:49.000But there's a lot of stuff you can get all over the world.
00:56:51.000You can go online and watch news from other countries and see how they report.
00:56:55.000One of the cool things about New York, though, as opposed to LA, is that New York is not a showbiz-based city.
00:58:00.000They found a loophole from some law from the 1800s about how you can't have dancing...
00:58:08.000You have to have a cabaret license if anyone's going to dance at a bar.
00:58:12.000So if a couple of people just, if you wanted to put on, if there's a bar and they have an extra room and you want to put on a comedy show or something and someone's dancing or a sketch comedy show and someone's dancing in a skit, they can shut you down.
00:58:24.000Yeah, so he started acting laws like that.
00:58:26.000So he started actually enforcing them?
00:58:29.000They started enforcing that, yeah, yeah.
01:00:31.000And so basically, 60% of it became a comedy club.
01:00:38.000But they still had strippers working there.
01:00:40.000And it was such a weird feeling, but I'd never felt more safe at a comedy club, because they still had all the bouncers from the strip club there.
01:00:48.000So it's all these guys in, like, tuxedos.
01:01:37.000A legacy of the Giuliani area in New York, the 60-40 rule forces any adult business to devote more than 40% of its square footage to adult entertainment.
01:02:48.000Like, I, I, like, I overhear college kids, you know, and they're, they're excited.
01:02:52.000They're like, oh yeah, my dorm's so great, because there's a Panera Bread right next to it, and, uh, And there's a Quiznos, you know, right nearby, and I'm just like, what the fuck, you know?
01:03:02.000It's like, it's hard to even get a good slice of pizza in New York anymore.
01:03:19.000So what happened with the pizza is, well, first of all, Manhattan and half of Brooklyn, hardly any of the people that live there are actually from New York anymore.
01:03:28.000So you don't even like, you don't have, so you have people moving from the suburbs, so they don't really know good pizza.
01:04:22.000So it's just a gigantic financial city now.
01:04:25.000Yeah, and that's what Bloomberg wanted, because that's his background, and his goal was to make it the financial center of the world, and I think he kind of did.
01:04:33.000Because when I first started doing comedy in New York in the late 80s and early 90s, You know, because I moved to New York in 87, there was always, you know, the Wall Street guys, you know, but it was down in one area, in Wall Street, and now that business is throughout the whole city,
01:05:14.000I remember even years ago, Comics, you know, and some people might say, oh, this is sex, whatever, but, you know, I think it's just guy locker room talk, but to have arguments, who's got hotter chicks, New York or L.A.? That's definitely sexist.
01:05:31.000So anyways, so, you know, comics, you travel around, you always have that argument, who's got the hotter chicks, New York and L.A.? Canada.
01:05:45.000So, like, it used to be, like, it was always close, you know, and then some guys would always agree with LA, some guys would say New York, and now, I think if you would have to place the vote, I think LA would win easily, you know, because New York, you don't see the variety of,
01:06:01.000like, you used to see women from, you know, all over the world, so that, you know, everyone on the planet, you'd see women, you know, beautiful women from everywhere, and it was just, you know, you don't see this variety of Anywhere, but in New York, you would see it.
01:06:14.000And, you know, you don't even see a lot of interesting fashion walking around the streets of New York.
01:06:19.000You used to always see that, you know, because if everyone's working in finance, that's, you know, that's not the most fashionable group of people, you know?
01:06:27.000Well, it seems like the worst, in terms of, like, artistic people, in terms of, like, creative people, like, if that's going to take over, that's going to be the worst for that.
01:07:08.000And often when you meet them, you know, and a lot of them are nice too, you know, they usually kind of heckle themselves, you know, say they're boring, they work at a good job or whatever, you know.
01:07:42.000Are anywhere from $500,000 to $1.5 million.
01:07:47.000And that's a one-bedroom that's probably 70% smaller than a one-bedroom in LA. It's like a new one-bedroom in the village in New York will be well over a million dollars.
01:08:00.000Yeah, we thought about, my wife and I thought about getting a place here at one point in time.
01:08:05.000We're like, maybe we should move to New York.
01:08:22.000Yeah, and also those apartments, unlike if you buy a house, they have the building monthly maintenance fees, which can be easily two to three grand a month, and that's just going out the window.
01:08:35.000So it's like owning and renting at the same time.
01:08:50.000Well, my folks and my brother, they're in Maryland and D.C., so I kind of want to be close to them.
01:08:58.000And I, you know, every time I come to LA, I always, because I lived out here for a couple years in the early 2000s, I keep thinking, oh, maybe I should just move here, you know?
01:09:06.000So I just, I don't know where to, I'm at the point in my career where, like, I don't know where I want to live, you know?
01:09:10.000You know, it was funny, even Anthony Bourdain, who's like this long-term New Yorker, and who's like, you know, kind of like, when I think of New York, I think of guys like him.
01:09:24.000It's like people are recognizing that there's like a weird shift Yeah, well, people, I remember, you know, 15, 20 years ago, the big thing with, there's always been this sort of, you know, love-hate with L.A. and New York.
01:09:35.000You know, I always noticed, like, it seems like there's always, L.A. comics seem to have a little bit of a fear towards New York comics a little bit, or a little bit sort of, like, respect.
01:09:45.000I've always noticed, even with, like, club owners, it's like, or even with actors, you even notice, oh, a New York actor, that means they know stage.
01:09:51.000And then even with L.A., it's like, Oh, those New York guys, they're getting on six, seven times a night.
01:09:58.000They're just in New York because they just want comedy.
01:10:00.000They're not interested in other stuff.
01:10:01.000And I'm like, you guys are really exaggerating things a lot.
01:10:05.000It's like, first of all, you can't be doing six and seven shows a night every fucking night.
01:10:09.000It's just, you know, once in a while you can do that, but you're going to go fucking crazy if you do that.
01:10:14.000And then just geographically getting to all those spots on time is not fucking easy to do.
01:10:18.000Yeah, unless you have Bill Burr at a helicopter, you're around the city.
01:12:25.000Like legit comics that go on, they go on the road, and it's amazing.
01:12:30.000Well, I think that point you bring up is interesting because I think, you know, years ago, you know, there were like a few main cities if you wanted to be different or do something entertainment.
01:12:41.000There's pretty much Newark and L.A. And now it's like there's...
01:12:45.000Or even if, like, let's say, you know, 40 years ago, if you wanted to be gay, you would move to one of the big cities.
01:13:11.000Because if you were a freak, if you were a weirdo and outsider, people would be like, move to New York, move to the big city, get away from the small town.
01:13:18.000Now, you can find cool shit in your small town.
01:13:20.000So it's not attracting that as much as the interesting peoples it used to for that reason, which is great.
01:13:27.000But then the finance thing and then with everything being so expensive, I actually think LA has a lot of interesting people moving to it and living in LA. I think LA has a lot of cool shit going on.
01:13:43.000Stand-up comedy, I think it's the best place right now.
01:13:45.000I think it's the best place as far as the amount of talent, the amount of really high-level people there, and the amount of really good clubs.
01:15:20.000Because what Ari did is he had this concept, and this concept was this will be a good way to generate new material if instead of being under the pressure of like punchline, punchline, punchline, doing it in a stand-up sense.
01:15:32.000Let's do something where you just tell stories.
01:15:43.000And so he did that, and then eventually went to do it on the web, did it on the web, and then eventually Comedy Central picked it up, and now it's on its third season.
01:17:39.000And the audiences are a little different between New York and here, but New York really only has, even though it has, like, probably 15 comedy clubs, there's probably only about three that are, like, actually good clubs.
01:17:50.000I think it has a lot more than 15. I think New York has a shitload of comedy clubs.
01:20:40.000The store's different in a different place because it's like this crazy psycho energy gym where, you know, you're fucking around, you're working, and you'll bring up, you know, there's like a million great comics.
01:20:52.000You're bringing up Ian Edwards and this guy and that guy, and it's like, it's just, you look at the lineup and it's like 13 murderers in a row.
01:21:39.000Sometimes I think there's more anger in LA, but it's more pent up.
01:21:42.000There's something about New York, though, when I stay there, whenever I'm staying there and I'm in a hotel and I look out the window and I just see this insane construction, this thing that people have put together, this modern beehive of cement and steel and glass.
01:21:58.000I'm like, this is amazing, especially at night.
01:22:01.000Last time I was there, I spent a good solid two hours just sitting at the desk in my hotel room looking out the window, just looking.
01:22:43.000It was about this woman, and she was telling the tale of how she watched this couple, and she would watch this couple all the time, and it made her kind of feel weird about her own relationship, because this couple, they were young, and they would fuck all the time, and they didn't have the curtains drawn, and she would just watch these people fuck.
01:23:22.000So she ran downstairs as they were taking the body out and putting it in a hearse.
01:23:29.000And, you know, she, like, made eye contact with the girl who lived with the guy, and they'd taken the body out, and she just felt like such a creep, but she also felt like she knew them.
01:23:54.000I think she's just looking at her world.
01:23:56.000Look, I don't think it's her responsibility to look away when some people are fucking and they're 30 yards outside of her window and they're in a window themselves.
01:25:00.000Yeah, there's definitely a building, there's like an expensive building right behind mine, and you can just see everyone's stuff, but I hardly ever look out.
01:25:44.000Like everywhere else in the country, pretty much, other than, you know, Chicago and some other spots, most people are sort of, they have a house and a little bit of a yard, and then there's another house over there and a little bit of a yard.
01:31:06.000Even with late-night talk shows on television, I will usually pass on doing stand-up on those, and if I can, I will do panel.
01:31:14.000Because in stand-up, there are going to be so many things in my stand-up act that I'll have to cut something, I'll have to not say a word or a certain subject matter, and I'm like, I don't want to cut that out of my stand-up.
01:31:26.000I don't want to censor my stand-up act at all.
01:32:09.000No, they pay a lot, you know, colleges pay well in general, and I weigh it, and I'm like, alright, if this is gonna be it, this is what it is, you know?
01:32:19.000Like, I did a show at Princeton a few years ago, and this is a different issue, and it was...
01:32:25.000I mean, a lot of the crowd was like a shitty audience.
01:32:27.000They were like, you know, not all of them, but a fair amount were very, very spoiled, very entitled, and drunk as shit.
01:32:36.000And normally, I would just fucking destroy them.
01:32:39.000But I'm like, if I heckle one of these kids, and I fucking rip them to shreds, In my head, I'm thinking, they're going to write a fucking letter, and then a nasty letter saying, oh, you did all these things, and then they're going to tell all these other colleges, and then I'll fucking stop working them.
01:32:56.000So I handled the heckler, but not how I would normally handle it.
01:33:00.000See, that is why people don't want to work colleges.
01:33:22.000I've often said a 50-year-old janitor will have a better sense of humor than a 19-year-old Harvard student.
01:33:29.000You know because you know first of all comedy IQ comedy smarts Doesn't necessarily have anything to do with book smarts right and real life experience is huge you know I sometimes I find college audiences to be Almost more narrow-minded than even someone in high school.
01:33:47.000Oh someone in high school Even though they're a couple years younger than someone in college They don't have that because usually when people get to college they they kind of think they know everything but in high school They don't think they know everything.
01:34:39.000Well, it's kind of like when a kid's young and he's first learning about curse words and dirty words.
01:34:45.000He's just saying them constantly, doesn't even know what it means.
01:34:47.000So sometimes when people are trying to stand up for something, and this is a new thing, this activism is a new thing to them, they don't really know, they may not be that good at it yet.
01:35:00.000Their heart might be in the right place, but they're being misguided and they're fucking shit up.
01:35:04.000Yeah, that's a good way of putting it.
01:35:09.000This goes back to what we were talking about earlier, where people never think they're wrong.
01:36:13.000You know, usually things aren't, you know, they're a lot more nuanced than you think they are, and there's a lot of issues.
01:36:18.000I just did a gig in Buffalo, and the waiter at the comedy club was like, hey, I won't see you tomorrow on Saturday because hunting season starts tomorrow, so me and my dad are driving out the woods and we're going to be hunting all day.
01:36:30.000And then the Uber driver who took me back to the airport was also hunting.
01:36:36.000And then he was telling me all the rules they have in hunting.
01:36:39.000Like, bullets can only be a certain size.
01:36:41.000And your rifle, you're only allowed to have three bullets in there.
01:36:44.000You're not allowed to have five bullets in there.
01:36:46.000And it's got to be certain bullets that, like, shoot through clean so they don't...
01:36:51.000If you hit the wrong place, it's not going to fuck up their whole leg.
01:36:54.000You know, all this kind of things that you don't even realize that are...
01:37:00.000Well, I think it's kind of like with fishing.
01:37:02.000There's a lot of fishing laws where your hook is not allowed to have, I forget what they're called, like the little daggers that go along the side.
01:37:11.000Because when you pull it out, they're the barbs.
01:37:13.000You don't want to be fucking the fish up.
01:37:15.000No, what that is is for catch and release places.
01:37:18.000But there's no catch and release with bullets.
01:37:20.000No, but there was something he was saying about, but it was a similar dynamic with the catch and release stuff with the hooks and with the bullets.
01:37:27.000Well, you can't have hollow point bullets, if that's what they mean, but those are mostly for pistols anyway.
01:37:33.000There's lead ammo versus copper ammo, but really the impact is environmental.
01:37:37.000They're worried about birds eating the lead.
01:37:50.000I think the gun control conversation and the hunting conversation are very different because I think what people are really concerned about when it comes to gun control are quote-unquote assault weapons.
01:38:00.000They're worried about what happened in San Bernardino, somebody having large magazines, semi-automatic weapons, killing a bunch of people.
01:38:34.000I think one of the things you were talking about earlier about these people that are activists, that really have their heart in the right place, they're just learning how to do it right.
01:38:40.000I think that you could say that overall about what's going on with the internet in general.
01:38:47.000Problems that people are having right now with progressive thinking and what people are calling regressive, regressive left, like people that are like very overly PC and trying to reinforce.
01:39:00.000I think what we're trying to do is make the world a little bit better and a little bit safer and a little bit more open-minded.
01:39:07.000But along the way, there's going to be a lot of stumbling blocks and there's going to be a lot of poor representations of these ideas.
01:39:43.000Like, we should probably try to leave people alone as much as possible, let people do their own thing as much as possible, as long as what their own thing is isn't interfering with other people's things.
01:39:51.000So that way, when someone, something like radical ideology, like Islam, extreme, you know, Muslim terrorist type characters that are doing what they did in San Bernardino and these other places, you gotta go, okay, well now it's a problem.
01:40:04.000Because now, you know, someone has stepped in, killed a bunch of people, and they've done it with guns.
01:40:45.000I mean, the stuff I've read recently says that gun shootings in general now are lower than they were 10 or 20 years ago, but mass shootings are up.
01:44:41.000Usually, I've done a few, and each one was me on the road, like, in a city, and I have no car, so I'm just, like, walking a mile to, like, the closest, like, CVS or gas station supermarket to buy some groceries.
01:44:54.000So, like, on the 20-minute walk, I'll be like, alright, I'll just fucking periscope this shit.
01:45:44.000You know, it's like, I remember, like, I remember, you know, just doing this one show where, like, it was a road show and a bunch of comics were on it.
01:45:53.000And, like, there's two comics who are, like, they don't even have the better of the sets.
01:47:12.000And then the book sort of like came out of that, you know, after several months, I realized I had like 50 cartoons and I was like, wow, I think I'm working on a new book here.
01:47:23.000That's just kind of organically came to me.
01:47:24.000So I spent the past most of the past year, year and a half working on that and then doing stand up.
01:47:29.000I turned down a fair amount of acting stuff that came my way.
01:47:33.000And now the next big project I need to do is a stand-up project, whether it be a special or a 90-minute feature-length stand-up concert film, and then I'll do an album with it, because I still have never put one out.
01:48:02.000But then it was like there were subjects you couldn't talk about, a lot of words you couldn't say, and I'm like, fuck it, I'm not doing it.
01:48:07.000And I also never liked their ownership clauses, where they owned...
01:48:10.000They didn't just own that filmed footage of you, they owned all the writing in it also.
01:48:14.000So if I wanted to do, let's say I had one joke from there, and then I wanted to do that on my own album, but I have one line, but I've added three new lines to it, they either wouldn't allow you or you'd have to get lawyers and fucking get permission,
01:48:47.000I think what I'm going to do is just put out my recent...
01:48:51.000Most recent hour, but yeah, I can put out, I can go back to material I don't even do anymore and put out probably two or three others, you know?
01:50:27.000Like, blockage on my own area, mental blockage, was, uh, and I'm much better with that now, but for a few years ago, I used to never have it, and then a few years ago it kicked in, was, like, that fear of, like, you know, basically, like, not just trolls,
01:51:11.000Yeah, it did, where I was just constantly, like, I got a lot of anxiety, like, thinking, if I put something out, they're gonna shit on it, and everyone thinks I'm gonna suck, and then I'm not gonna have a career, you know?
01:51:20.000Did this happen because someone shit on you, or you were worried about someone shitting on you?
01:51:24.000I was worried about it, yeah, I was worried about it.
01:51:53.000I... I think it was all kinds of trust issues I was having personally and stuff.
01:51:59.000Because I remember, like, when 30 Rock was going on, I'd go out on a date with the girl, and then, like, 30 minutes into the date, she starts talking about her boyfriend.
01:52:59.000But I think that's maybe sort of around the same time when I started worrying about bloggers and shit, like shitting on you.
01:53:05.000You know, my friend Eddie has this theory about Bill Cosby.
01:53:10.000About Bill Cosby when he started doing that to women.
01:53:14.000And he thinks that that might have been the similar type of situation where these women wanted to be around him, but they were turning him down.
01:56:24.000There's always gonna be people like that.
01:56:27.000I have a friend of mine that went with this girl and the girl told him that she had a husband and the husband watched and coached her while she was blowing my friend.
01:57:04.000I think, you know, so much of culture is so, like, even if you look at social media, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, if I wasn't trying to promote my shows, I wouldn't be on any of that shit.
01:57:21.000Like, if you're on it and you just want to follow different people to sort of, you know, get some, like, you know, ongoing kind of entertainment, you know, but it's like, when people just take photos of them, Selves at the beach or their food and they post it.
01:57:36.000I'm like, what the fuck are you doing?
01:58:05.000Like, I know some people, and they just follow, they'll follow, like, their favorite, like, musicians and their favorite comics, and they're, you know, so they're on their scroll.
01:58:13.000They're getting, you know, some, you know, info and entertainment, like, throughout the day.
01:58:17.000I understand that, but if you're actively posting, I don't know.
01:58:22.000It's almost like everyone has their own show, basically.
02:00:42.000They're doing exactly the same thing that you see people doing on reality shows where they're fucking acting.
02:00:48.000You know when you watch a reality show and you watch someone, they're doing something or saying something very specifically to get a reaction.
02:01:33.000I mean, I agree with you and I disagree, because I think sometimes people are genuine, but then sometimes people are just, you know, tooting their own way.
02:01:40.000Yeah, I mean, there's no black or white in this.
02:02:40.000So they were trying to be, they were acting and trying to act like an audience member instead of just sitting there and just let it happen.
02:02:59.000And that's the way a lot of times comedy on TV is, where it's just, it's so fake, you know, it's just, and that's a more extreme example, but it's like, it's just, I don't know, but it's not easy to capture, you know, even when you see specials,
02:03:14.000it's not easy to capture a real stand-up night, because, you know, when you put those cameras in there, people know what's going on, it always adds a little bit of a different dynamic, you know?
02:03:30.000He started carrying cameras around and filming things.
02:03:34.000And he was talking about, they were interviewing him for this BBC documentary that they were doing.
02:03:39.000I think it was BBC. And he was saying that having a camera changes everything because you're not capturing reality because having the camera and knowing that it's being filmed changes exactly what it is.
02:03:50.000It becomes something different now because everyone's aware of the camera.
02:03:53.000And this is a documentary he made that he was talking about?