The Joe Rogan Experience - July 11, 2016


Joe Rogan Experience #823 - Eleanor Kerrigan


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 35 minutes

Words per Minute

202.26064

Word Count

31,374

Sentence Count

3,757

Misogynist Sentences

180

Hate Speech Sentences

78


Summary

Ella Eleanor is a stand-up comic and friend of mine who I've known for a long time. She's been in comedy since she was a waitress in the late 90s and early 2000s. We talk about how she got her start in comedy and how she became one of my favorite people in the business. She also talks about her love of The Sopranos and The Office and how it all led her to working with Martin Lawrence. I hope you enjoy this episode and that it makes you think about how great it is to have a good friend in your life. I know I did and I'm glad I had her on the show to talk about it. Thank you so much to Eleanor for coming on the pod and talking about comedy and all the crazy things she's done in her life and how much she loves what she does. I can't wait for you to listen to this episode! Tweet me and tell me what you thought of it! if you have any thoughts on this episode or if you think it was funny or think it's a good one! Timestamps: 1:00 - Who's funnier? 2:30 - What do you think of Martin Lawrence? 3:15 - Who is your favorite TV actor? 4:20 - Who do you miss? 5:40 - Who are you'd like to see in a movie or TV show? 6:00 7:15 8:00- How do you feel about a certain type of character? 9:00: Who's your favorite fictional character from a TV show or movie? 11:15- What kind of pasta sauce? 12:30- What's your favourite pasta? 13:40- What are you would you like to eat? 14:30: What's the best pasta dish? 15:20- What s your favorite pasta dish you're eating? 16:40: What is a good pasta dish from a good meal? 17:15: What s the worst pasta sauce you ve ever had? 18:00 | Uncle Steve's NY? 19:15 | What's a pasta sauce that you ve eaten? 21:30 | What santa's pasta you ve got you in a good place? 26:00 +16:40 | Where do you want me to eat it? 27:20 | Who's better than that pasta you like?


Transcript

00:00:04.000 Yes!
00:00:06.000 Eleanor!
00:00:07.000 What's up, my friend?
00:00:09.000 So good to see you.
00:00:10.000 What's up with you?
00:00:11.000 Eleanor, my long-running friend, one of my longest-running friends in Hollywood, and a girl who's now a professional, legit professional stand-up comic who I always knew for years as a waitress.
00:00:22.000 I always tell everybody this story, but it's true.
00:00:25.000 Eleanor was my go-to person to find out if somebody was a hack.
00:00:28.000 Oh.
00:00:29.000 Like, there would be, like, someone would say, oh, you gotta check out this person.
00:00:32.000 They're amazing.
00:00:33.000 I'd go, okay, cool.
00:00:34.000 And then I'd go, Eleanor, did you see blah, blah, blah?
00:00:37.000 She'd like, pfft, fucking hack.
00:00:39.000 And there was a lot of people that got tricked, you know?
00:00:42.000 Oh, trickery is big in comedy.
00:00:45.000 A lot of people who we thought were like, you think they're legit, and then you see them a few times, and you're like, oh, something going on here.
00:00:53.000 Yeah, there was a lot of them, I feel like.
00:00:56.000 And I used to tell my customers, I'd be like, alright, right here you're going to want to go to the bathroom.
00:01:01.000 You're going to want to stay in there for a while.
00:01:03.000 Well, when you came to the store, you were at the store before I was.
00:01:07.000 93. Yeah, I came in 94. So when I was there, you were already there, but those were dark years.
00:01:13.000 There was...
00:01:14.000 Not in the beginning.
00:01:15.000 In the beginning, I was still doing three shows in the OR, two shows in the main room.
00:01:19.000 Was it like 97, 98?
00:01:22.000 It just kind of...
00:01:23.000 Yeah, around there.
00:01:23.000 Somewhere around there.
00:01:24.000 Yeah, because it got bad.
00:01:26.000 Yeah, well, when we first got there, Martin Lawrence was on top.
00:01:30.000 And he would come there all the time and fill the place.
00:01:33.000 Yeah, my...
00:01:34.000 Sort of like how Louis does now, when Louis comes.
00:01:37.000 And Joe Rogan.
00:01:38.000 Yeah, that guy.
00:01:40.000 But...
00:01:41.000 No, but my first ex-fiance used to represent Martin Lawrence.
00:01:46.000 Oh, that's right.
00:01:47.000 I have a couple ex-fiances.
00:01:49.000 Whatever.
00:01:50.000 Not a closer, guys.
00:01:51.000 Not yet.
00:01:52.000 But you were receiving a master class in comedy before you ever did it.
00:01:59.000 Oh my god, yeah.
00:02:00.000 Like, I would watch them all the time.
00:02:01.000 Because then, when I wasn't at the store, I was with my fiancé, and we'd be at comedy clubs.
00:02:05.000 We were on the road with Chris Rock when he was doing Bring the Paint, because Chris was his other client.
00:02:13.000 So it was like watching everybody.
00:02:15.000 That's how I became friends with Sharipa, through my first ex-fiancé.
00:02:19.000 So we would go to all...
00:02:20.000 When Sharipa was booking the Riviera.
00:02:22.000 Yeah, and then I would help him book people, once in a blue moon, and of course, they'd all get banned.
00:02:27.000 Idiots.
00:02:28.000 Isn't it crazy that Sharippo was booking the Riviera?
00:02:31.000 We always knew him as this booking guy who was really fun to hang out with.
00:02:35.000 So fun.
00:02:35.000 He was just such a great guy.
00:02:36.000 And then all of a sudden, he's on the fucking greatest show of all time.
00:02:40.000 I'm like, what?
00:02:41.000 It was so weird for me to watch him on The Sopranos.
00:02:44.000 I'm like, how is this possible?
00:02:46.000 He's like, I might get this part.
00:02:48.000 I'm like, what?
00:02:49.000 What?
00:02:49.000 I mean, we were all like freaking out.
00:02:51.000 Like, are you kidding?
00:02:52.000 And then he finally told me, he goes, I finished the paperwork today.
00:02:55.000 I'm like, oh my God.
00:02:56.000 I was freaking out.
00:02:57.000 I couldn't wait to see him on The Sopranos.
00:02:59.000 You know, he has the best fucking spaghetti sauce in the world.
00:03:02.000 I know.
00:03:03.000 I have to try it.
00:03:03.000 It's really good.
00:03:04.000 I still didn't get it.
00:03:05.000 What is it called?
00:03:06.000 Look up Steve Sharippa's sauce.
00:03:07.000 Like, something New York.
00:03:08.000 Which one on Sopranos was he?
00:03:09.000 Was it a younger, clean copy?
00:03:11.000 Bobby Bacala.
00:03:12.000 Yeah, they made him put a gut suit on.
00:03:16.000 Like, they made him...
00:03:17.000 Like, he wasn't that big.
00:03:18.000 He's pretty big now.
00:03:19.000 Like, if you wanted to do it now, I probably wouldn't have to wear it.
00:03:21.000 It's all that sauce.
00:03:22.000 He's eating good.
00:03:23.000 What do you want from me?
00:03:25.000 He's a fucking character.
00:03:27.000 God, thank God for people like that.
00:03:29.000 There it is.
00:03:30.000 Uncle Steve's.
00:03:31.000 That's what it is.
00:03:31.000 Uncle Steve's.
00:03:32.000 I knew it was something like that.
00:03:33.000 And what is the...
00:03:34.000 Is it Uncle Steve's...
00:03:36.000 Uncle Steve's NY. NY.com.
00:03:39.000 Uncle Steve's NY.com.
00:03:40.000 But he has amazing pasta sauce.
00:03:43.000 And we've known this guy forever.
00:03:45.000 Easily, yeah.
00:03:46.000 Like, I feel like I've known him since the day I got here.
00:03:49.000 Yeah, I've known him forever.
00:03:50.000 And he's always been awesome.
00:03:51.000 Because he booked big clients like that for Billy, my ex.
00:03:55.000 He introduced me to Lichtenberg, my business manager.
00:03:59.000 He's been my business manager forever.
00:04:01.000 He got the stamp of approval from Sharipa.
00:04:04.000 He's a good guy.
00:04:05.000 He's a good guy.
00:04:07.000 He's a real guy.
00:04:12.000 But we've had a chance to see a lot of...
00:04:15.000 We got a chance to see Richard Pryor together.
00:04:18.000 Remember those days?
00:04:19.000 Richard did for a year.
00:04:21.000 I remember I was so nervous.
00:04:23.000 I was in the office at the comedy store, and I brought him in water.
00:04:27.000 And I was like, oh my god, it's Richard Pryor.
00:04:29.000 Because we used to get punished for listening to his stuff.
00:04:32.000 So then I was like, I told him that, and he's like, that's good.
00:04:35.000 And then later on, his wife wouldn't let me bring him the...
00:04:40.000 Toonies, he used to call them.
00:04:41.000 Martinis.
00:04:41.000 He's like, bring me a Toonie.
00:04:43.000 Bring me a Toonie.
00:04:43.000 So I was like, it's Richard Pryor.
00:04:45.000 I'll bring him whenever he wants.
00:04:46.000 If he asks for cocaine, I'm going to go find it.
00:04:47.000 You know what I mean?
00:04:48.000 It's exciting.
00:04:49.000 So I brought it to him, and she made me change it to water.
00:04:54.000 She made me change it.
00:04:55.000 I love her.
00:04:56.000 I know what she was doing, but at the same time, it's like, dude, he's sick.
00:04:59.000 Let him have his friggin' martini.
00:05:01.000 You know what I mean?
00:05:02.000 I guess.
00:05:02.000 And I brought it on stage, and he sipped it, and he knew it was water, and he was like, bitch!
00:05:08.000 I was like, oh my god, Richard Pryor doesn't like me.
00:05:11.000 Oh, no.
00:05:12.000 Because of that bitch wife.
00:05:14.000 No, I'm just kidding.
00:05:15.000 But I didn't want to get in trouble.
00:05:17.000 I didn't know if it was his meds that would counteract.
00:05:19.000 You never know why she was doing it.
00:05:21.000 No, I hear you.
00:05:22.000 I mean, ultimately, you have to listen to her.
00:05:24.000 She's like the caregiver.
00:05:25.000 She was running shit.
00:05:25.000 Yeah.
00:05:26.000 So I did it.
00:05:27.000 Yeah, he did it a long time.
00:05:28.000 I had to go on after him a lot.
00:05:30.000 Oh, yeah.
00:05:31.000 For a year.
00:05:31.000 He did a year.
00:05:32.000 He did Monday, Wednesday, Friday.
00:05:33.000 And then it switched down to just Wednesday.
00:05:35.000 I don't remember how many times I went on after him, but I remember I bombed basically every single one of them.
00:05:41.000 Like, I might have got over a couple of times.
00:05:43.000 It was packed.
00:05:45.000 Remember?
00:05:45.000 It was packed.
00:05:46.000 It was weird, too, because he was really ill.
00:05:50.000 Yeah, because Chewy would carry him up.
00:05:52.000 Mm-hmm.
00:05:52.000 Chewy and...
00:05:55.000 Who else?
00:05:56.000 Fat James?
00:05:57.000 No, was it Fat James?
00:05:58.000 I don't think so.
00:05:58.000 No, I don't think it was Fat James.
00:05:59.000 I don't think it was.
00:06:01.000 Please.
00:06:01.000 It was Marilyn Martinez's husband, remember?
00:06:04.000 Oh, David.
00:06:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:06:04.000 David used to help him.
00:06:05.000 Okay, oh yeah.
00:06:06.000 Him and Chewie used to help Richard Pryor get to the stage.
00:06:10.000 Yeah, now I remember.
00:06:11.000 I'm afraid to put my headphones all the way on.
00:06:13.000 Don't think I'm weird.
00:06:14.000 I don't know.
00:06:15.000 I have a paranoia.
00:06:16.000 You worry that someone's going to sneak up on you?
00:06:18.000 Yeah, I don't know what that bear is doing.
00:06:19.000 You sort of blocked his filly.
00:06:20.000 That's that old school filly in you.
00:06:22.000 I gotta leave the one ear out.
00:06:23.000 Do you know filly has a UFC lightweight champion in the world now?
00:06:26.000 No, I did not know that.
00:06:29.000 Eddie Alvarez.
00:06:29.000 Oh, wow.
00:06:30.000 He's from Philly?
00:06:31.000 How come I didn't know that?
00:06:33.000 That stinks.
00:06:34.000 But that's awesome.
00:06:35.000 And how were the fights this weekend?
00:06:37.000 How was it?
00:06:38.000 Fucking insane.
00:06:38.000 The Eddie Alvarez one was probably the most insane.
00:06:41.000 Eddie Alvarez was a big underdog.
00:06:43.000 He fought Rafael Dos Anjos on the internet.
00:06:45.000 It was on the internet.
00:06:46.000 It was only on UFC Fight Reflexes like a cat.
00:06:50.000 It was only on UFC Fight Pass.
00:06:53.000 I don't know how many people watched the Fight Pass ones, but I know it's not as much as Fox.
00:07:00.000 I don't think it's as much as a pay-per-view, but I could be wrong at this point because I know there's millions and millions of people who have Fight Pass now.
00:07:07.000 I don't know the actual numbers, but Fight Pass is awesome.
00:07:11.000 You can watch every fight that's ever taken place, and they have a few world title fights on it now.
00:07:16.000 So that world title fight was a part of the three-day celebration.
00:07:19.000 So it was Rafael Dos Anjos versus Eddie Alvarez for the lightweight title.
00:07:23.000 And then it was Ioana Jacek and Klaudia Gidea on Friday night for the Women's Strawweight title.
00:07:30.000 And then there was the big UFC 200. So it was three nights of insane fights.
00:07:35.000 That's insane.
00:07:36.000 Yeah.
00:07:36.000 I think I came off stage when the girls were fighting and I went to show my friend the bar at the Comedy Store, you know, the back bar.
00:07:43.000 And I was like, oh, come in here.
00:07:44.000 And everybody was like, ah!
00:07:45.000 I was like, oh, I forgot.
00:07:47.000 I forgot.
00:07:48.000 I thought we were doing comedy.
00:07:49.000 Sorry guys, I'm going to go out.
00:07:52.000 But yeah, it was crazy.
00:07:54.000 It was cool seeing Brock back.
00:07:55.000 He killed it.
00:07:56.000 Dude, Brock Lesnar beat a world-class heavyweight.
00:08:01.000 How dare you?
00:08:02.000 Sorry, I'm just asking a question, guys.
00:08:04.000 Yeah, he beat a world-class heavyweight.
00:08:06.000 It's crazy.
00:08:07.000 He beat Mark Hunt.
00:08:08.000 I mean, he fucking legitimately beat Mark Hunt.
00:08:11.000 He avoided getting knocked out on his feet.
00:08:13.000 He took him down like a fucking gorilla.
00:08:15.000 He took him down like nobody can.
00:08:17.000 You watch him take Mark Hunt down, and you're like, Jesus, who's stopping that?
00:08:21.000 How are you stopping that?
00:08:23.000 His horsepower is just so insane.
00:08:25.000 When he gets a hold of his head, he's just...
00:08:28.000 Boom!
00:08:29.000 And he's taking him down.
00:08:30.000 Because Mark Hunt's a difficult guy to take down, and Mark Hunt is all of 265 pounds.
00:08:36.000 He's a big fucking guy.
00:08:38.000 So for Brock to do that to him that way, Jesus Christ, he's ridiculous.
00:08:42.000 I could probably beat him.
00:08:43.000 You'd probably take his ass.
00:08:44.000 What a good example of somebody that doesn't supposedly use steroids, too.
00:08:48.000 Look, that guy's a monster.
00:08:50.000 His muscles are crazy.
00:08:52.000 And supposedly, he got tested, right?
00:08:54.000 Yeah, he got tested.
00:08:55.000 For this fight, he got tested five times within a very short period of time.
00:09:00.000 But, let's just be completely honest, in the nature of...
00:09:06.000 Open discourse.
00:09:07.000 Okay.
00:09:07.000 When you look at someone and they're jacked as fucked, it could easily be genetics.
00:09:13.000 Because there are girls that have giant tits for no reason.
00:09:16.000 All right.
00:09:16.000 I don't think we should bring this up.
00:09:17.000 They have like size EE tits.
00:09:19.000 And you're like, what in the hell?
00:09:20.000 And they're 100% natural.
00:09:22.000 And then there's some girls that are just, they don't have very large boobs.
00:09:24.000 Yeah.
00:09:25.000 Thank you.
00:09:25.000 There's a lot of girls besides you.
00:09:26.000 There's a lot of people out there that have this thing going on.
00:09:29.000 Yes.
00:09:30.000 This testosterone.
00:09:32.000 But there's just a giant difference between human shapes, right?
00:09:34.000 Absolutely.
00:09:35.000 And so there are people that are built like that.
00:09:37.000 My friend Sidley is a buddy of mine from back in Boston.
00:09:40.000 He was jacked and he didn't even lift weights.
00:09:43.000 He was this Jamaican kid that I was friends with.
00:09:45.000 Oh my God.
00:09:46.000 He was fucking...
00:09:48.000 He was ridiculously yoked and he barely worked out.
00:09:52.000 I mean, he did like kickboxing things and some push-ups maybe.
00:09:56.000 He was never lifting weights.
00:09:58.000 He was just doing martial arts stuff and he was...
00:10:01.000 My brother Charlie was like that, always muscly.
00:10:04.000 Up until like two years ago, it just changed.
00:10:06.000 Don't tell him I said that.
00:10:07.000 We'll get pissed.
00:10:08.000 Do you know that little kid?
00:10:10.000 He doesn't know how to listen to a podcast.
00:10:11.000 You know the little kid, the little muscle kid that was super ripped when he was a kid?
00:10:15.000 That's what Charlie looked like.
00:10:16.000 Have you seen him now?
00:10:17.000 No.
00:10:17.000 He works at Universal Studios in the Waterworld exhibit.
00:10:22.000 He's like a stunt guy.
00:10:22.000 And now he's just normal, kind of has a beer gut now.
00:10:25.000 He stopped lifting because he said it was boring.
00:10:29.000 Man, wasn't that a case of, didn't they allege that his parents had had him on steroids?
00:10:34.000 Yeah.
00:10:35.000 Oh, that's awful.
00:10:37.000 I know, it's really sad.
00:10:38.000 If that's the same story that I'm thinking about, I think there's been more than one of those, like little yolk dudes.
00:10:44.000 I know there's one little yolk dude that had that genetic disorder that cows have sometimes and those whippet dogs have sometimes.
00:10:54.000 Oh, we had a whippet.
00:10:55.000 Have you ever seen the whippet dogs that get the double muscle disorder?
00:10:59.000 No.
00:11:00.000 My dog was lazy, but she was a Whippet.
00:11:02.000 It's different.
00:11:03.000 I mean, just assume if they have the extra muscle, they'd be more.
00:11:06.000 No, there's this thing that happens to Whippets and some cows.
00:11:09.000 It's called a myostatin inhibitor.
00:11:12.000 And a myostatin inhibitor, apparently, it regulates the amount of muscle tissue you carry around with you.
00:11:19.000 So when these whippets get it, they look like the Hulk.
00:11:23.000 They look fake.
00:11:24.000 They look like a movie.
00:11:25.000 I've seen pictures of it.
00:11:27.000 Pull up a photo of a whippet myostatin inhibitor dog.
00:11:33.000 You know how to spell that?
00:11:34.000 Myostatin.
00:11:35.000 But apparently there's a boy in Germany, at least one kid, that's confirmed that was born with this disorder.
00:11:41.000 So he's really young, but he's jacked.
00:11:45.000 He's just fucking super yoked baby.
00:11:47.000 I don't mind being jacked.
00:11:49.000 This is what the dogs look like.
00:11:50.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:11:51.000 Man, look at their face!
00:11:52.000 So sweet!
00:11:53.000 It's really weird.
00:11:55.000 They're usually a very slender dog.
00:11:57.000 Very kangaroo looking.
00:11:59.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:12:00.000 Dude, kangaroos scare the fuck out of me now.
00:12:02.000 It's like all of a sudden they started getting jacked.
00:12:05.000 I saw a lot of them in Australia.
00:12:07.000 Big ones.
00:12:07.000 Kangaroos weren't jacked when I was a kid.
00:12:09.000 Yeah.
00:12:10.000 When I was a kid...
00:12:11.000 Do you think they lift?
00:12:12.000 Yeah, they definitely lift.
00:12:13.000 They looked all like they were like fucking schoolteachers.
00:12:17.000 Like they were just newspaper reporters or something.
00:12:21.000 A librarian.
00:12:22.000 No.
00:12:22.000 They didn't look like these yoked monsters.
00:12:24.000 You see the one that's knocking on the window of the person's house?
00:12:27.000 Like, I want to come in.
00:12:28.000 Have you seen that video yet?
00:12:29.000 I would have let him in.
00:12:30.000 I would have let him in.
00:12:31.000 Knocking on the door?
00:12:32.000 Look at them.
00:12:33.000 Come on now.
00:12:34.000 Look how big that thing is.
00:12:36.000 That's insane.
00:12:36.000 That one up there is big.
00:12:37.000 Yeah, look at that one right there.
00:12:39.000 Like, what in the fuck, man?
00:12:41.000 What in the fuck is that?
00:12:43.000 That's fake.
00:12:44.000 No, I'm kidding.
00:12:45.000 I've seen it live.
00:12:46.000 But it's not fake.
00:12:46.000 I know I've seen it live.
00:12:47.000 So what the hell's going on?
00:12:49.000 Do you think they have that extra muscle thing like you said?
00:12:52.000 They're taking dick pills because there's steroids in dick pills.
00:12:55.000 What a fucking bizarre animal that is.
00:12:57.000 That is amazing.
00:12:59.000 A bouncy mammal that will kick you and try to hurt you and fuck you up.
00:13:02.000 But they're so nice.
00:13:03.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:13:04.000 Yes, they would sit there and I feed them.
00:13:06.000 I fed the big guy.
00:13:07.000 I took pictures of his balls.
00:13:09.000 He let me.
00:13:09.000 You've got to be really careful around them.
00:13:11.000 See?
00:13:12.000 I'm serious.
00:13:13.000 Is that a real pose?
00:13:14.000 Yes.
00:13:15.000 They say, though, that if you find them in the wild, you are not supposed to ever approach them.
00:13:20.000 Okay, in the wild.
00:13:20.000 Is he beating off?
00:13:23.000 Is that kangaroo beating off?
00:13:24.000 No.
00:13:25.000 We saw two having sex.
00:13:27.000 Whoa.
00:13:29.000 The video, though, that kind of went around last week, is a kangaroo is seeing its reflection in somebody's window, and it's trying to fight it.
00:13:36.000 But the guy's on the other side with the camera, and it's just this jacked kangaroo punching the window.
00:13:42.000 It's scary as fuck.
00:13:43.000 Oh my god, is there a video?
00:13:43.000 Oh yeah, it's one of the coolest videos.
00:13:45.000 It came out last week.
00:13:45.000 We just type in a kangaroo window.
00:13:48.000 Fist fighting himself in a window.
00:13:50.000 Fuckers, man.
00:13:50.000 Shadow boxing a window.
00:13:51.000 That's a weird animal.
00:13:53.000 I love them.
00:13:54.000 I think they're great.
00:13:55.000 But it's so weird what it does.
00:13:57.000 Like the way it acts.
00:13:58.000 It sits on its tail.
00:14:00.000 And it's bouncing around these legs.
00:14:02.000 And then it's got this jacked upper body.
00:14:06.000 They get spooked easy, too.
00:14:08.000 Like, this one big one was trying to have sex.
00:14:11.000 I'm going to say it wasn't sex.
00:14:12.000 It was definitely rape.
00:14:13.000 But it was like he was pulling her back and she was trying to get away.
00:14:16.000 But the reason she was trying to get away is because there was like a weird wind come.
00:14:20.000 Then when it came, they all scattered.
00:14:22.000 Then they went under the tree and then they got into it.
00:14:24.000 And I was like, oh, maybe she just wanted some privacy.
00:14:27.000 It was really interesting how they had to sneak out.
00:14:30.000 But she was scared, and then as soon as this weird thing came, it was like a wind, they all went scattered, and then they got back into it.
00:14:38.000 It was exciting.
00:14:39.000 I like kangaroos.
00:14:40.000 Yeah.
00:14:41.000 This is it.
00:14:42.000 This is so scary.
00:14:43.000 So it's knock on the door.
00:14:45.000 That one's not too jacked.
00:14:47.000 Boy, boy, it's creepy though.
00:14:49.000 Look at his claws.
00:14:51.000 Oh my god.
00:14:52.000 Watch this.
00:14:52.000 And he starts getting pissed.
00:14:53.000 Don't you scratch my window.
00:14:55.000 Don't you scratch my window.
00:14:58.000 This is not the right video, maybe.
00:15:01.000 I guess it is.
00:15:02.000 Yeah, because it's a mirror.
00:15:03.000 Ew.
00:15:04.000 Oh my god, he's throwing himself at the window.
00:15:09.000 Fuck, man.
00:15:10.000 He's trying to chest bump himself.
00:15:14.000 He's trying to fight what he sees as a reflection in the window.
00:15:19.000 Whoa.
00:15:20.000 Can you imagine having Nat at your house?
00:15:22.000 That is a creepy animal.
00:15:24.000 Now, they're beautiful, but...
00:15:27.000 They don't eat meat, right?
00:15:28.000 Those are herbivores.
00:15:30.000 Aren't they?
00:15:30.000 You got me.
00:15:32.000 They let us feed them some weird shit.
00:15:34.000 What was it like?
00:15:35.000 He's getting his protein saved.
00:15:36.000 Vegetables?
00:15:37.000 Yeah, right?
00:15:37.000 It smelled terrible, and it looked like little pills.
00:15:43.000 Well, you know, gorillas don't eat meat.
00:15:46.000 Really?
00:15:47.000 Yeah, they eat just grasses.
00:15:48.000 Yeah, they're 100% vegetarian.
00:15:50.000 It's why they're so gentle.
00:15:53.000 Oh.
00:15:54.000 Wow.
00:15:54.000 Kangaroos are herbivores.
00:15:55.000 They eat grasses, flowers, leaves, ferns, moss, and even insects.
00:15:59.000 Interesting.
00:16:00.000 Like cows, kangaroos regurgitate their food and re-chew it before it's ready to be totally digested.
00:16:05.000 A juvenile kangaroo views the outside world from the pouch of an adult female.
00:16:08.000 All right, now they've seen a little.
00:16:09.000 Wow.
00:16:10.000 Eddie Ift, he got fucking chased by one in Australia.
00:16:15.000 He told the story of...
00:16:16.000 Really?
00:16:16.000 He thought it was fake because it was so big because it was like a fucking seven-foot kangaroo.
00:16:21.000 He thought it was fake.
00:16:23.000 And he got out of the car, and he was with a bunch of Australians, and he starts walking towards it.
00:16:28.000 And his friend goes, mate!
00:16:31.000 Stop!
00:16:32.000 And his friend stopped him, and he's like, get back in the fucking car!
00:16:36.000 And, you know, is that a bad Australian accent?
00:16:39.000 Pretty bad, right?
00:16:39.000 Get in the car!
00:16:40.000 Get back in the car, mate!
00:16:42.000 So the dude ran back, Eddie ran back to the car, and apparently this fucking kangaroo was going to go after him.
00:16:49.000 Like, this giant kangaroo is like, if you go too close to them, if they think you're a threat, and they've probably been fucked with by people.
00:16:55.000 I wouldn't go too close.
00:16:56.000 Unless they were in a, like, captivity, like where I went to see them.
00:17:00.000 Is this chasing a golf court?
00:17:01.000 Yeah, chasing after golfers on a golf course.
00:17:03.000 Jurassic Park.
00:17:04.000 Yeah, I would never do that.
00:17:06.000 Here's my point.
00:17:06.000 That's frightening to me.
00:17:07.000 If that thing ate meat, we'd be fucksville.
00:17:10.000 Can you imagine if there was a bunch of them and they ate meat?
00:17:12.000 They were predators bouncing.
00:17:14.000 We'd kill them.
00:17:15.000 We'd have to kill them, right?
00:17:16.000 We'd have to kill them.
00:17:16.000 But they still want to fight you.
00:17:17.000 Is that why they chase you?
00:17:19.000 They just are like, oh, I feel like fighting tonight.
00:17:21.000 I'm all jacked up.
00:17:22.000 UFC kangaroos.
00:17:23.000 Now that.
00:17:24.000 Why don't they eat meat?
00:17:25.000 Is it just their preference?
00:17:26.000 Do they ever cross the line and go, you know what, I'm just going to eat this bird right now because I'm hungry?
00:17:31.000 Maybe it doesn't taste right to them.
00:17:33.000 Well, kangaroos, I don't know if they eat birds, but cows do.
00:17:36.000 Cows eat birds when they find them.
00:17:38.000 If they find them on the ground, they eat nesting birds.
00:17:40.000 They eat birds that fall out of nests that fall on the ground.
00:17:43.000 My brother's dog had a dead bird in his mouth when we were home a couple weeks ago.
00:17:46.000 See, that's normal though, right?
00:17:48.000 With dogs.
00:17:48.000 I was at these people's house in Montana and they had this cat.
00:17:52.000 This fucking cat had a Graveyard in front of his house.
00:17:55.000 Oh yeah.
00:17:55.000 They're monsters.
00:17:56.000 This cat had brought in like two or three birds like that day.
00:18:01.000 I don't trust cats.
00:18:01.000 There was dead birds and there was little tiny sparrows and shit.
00:18:03.000 These two barnyard cats are just wandering around jacking things.
00:18:07.000 Are you a cat guy or a dog?
00:18:09.000 I love cats.
00:18:09.000 I love dogs too though.
00:18:10.000 I love, yeah, that's right.
00:18:11.000 But I don't know if I could do cats.
00:18:14.000 They're too sneaky.
00:18:15.000 Yeah, they're just getting by.
00:18:17.000 See, this is one.
00:18:18.000 This cow's eating a fucking bird, man.
00:18:21.000 Yeah, it chases after them, too, man.
00:18:23.000 It's not just simply that it ate it by accident.
00:18:25.000 There's one of them where these other birds are dive-bombing on his head.
00:18:28.000 On her head, I should say.
00:18:30.000 It's a girl.
00:18:31.000 And as they're dive-bombing on her head, she's just slowly but surely chasing after this little bird that fell on the ground, and then she winds up jacking it in front of its loved ones.
00:18:41.000 Enjoy that.
00:18:42.000 That's what they do to me.
00:18:43.000 You know, bulls only eat grass, too.
00:18:48.000 Bulls, like a bull.
00:18:49.000 But bulls are super fucking crazy aggressive.
00:18:52.000 They've got to put some shit on the grass, don't you think?
00:18:55.000 No, they've always been crazy.
00:18:57.000 That's why people would ride bulls.
00:18:58.000 Because you'd have to be an asshole.
00:19:00.000 Somebody just died.
00:19:01.000 Some famous bull rider or bull guy just died.
00:19:03.000 A matador, right?
00:19:05.000 Have you seen the new things where they put the big balls around them and they run around and let bulls like...
00:19:11.000 Fuck, dude!
00:19:12.000 Well, the matadors don't ride them, right?
00:19:14.000 No, no, no, no.
00:19:15.000 He's talking about something totally different.
00:19:16.000 There's a new...
00:19:17.000 There's something that people are doing now.
00:19:19.000 I don't know if you've seen it.
00:19:19.000 They get into, like, a ball.
00:19:21.000 Yeah.
00:19:21.000 You climb into a ball.
00:19:22.000 Oh, yeah.
00:19:23.000 And you, like, bounce into each other, and you can sort of run and collide into each other.
00:19:26.000 It's awesome.
00:19:27.000 Have you done it?
00:19:28.000 No, no, no.
00:19:28.000 That's great.
00:19:28.000 But they're doing it with bulls.
00:19:30.000 Okay, that's a little stupid.
00:19:31.000 See how crazy that is?
00:19:32.000 Yeah.
00:19:35.000 No, I can't.
00:19:36.000 I guess they can't.
00:19:37.000 They have the kind of horns that the poking part is shaped.
00:19:41.000 You know, you put those rubber tips on the end of them.
00:19:43.000 You gotta put like a little super ball at the end of each one.
00:19:47.000 A little tennis ball on them.
00:19:48.000 Fuck, man.
00:19:48.000 That's a sin.
00:19:49.000 No, because they have, what's that place with the trampolines?
00:19:53.000 See, these people, they get these balls out.
00:19:56.000 See, that to me seems like you're going to blow your fucking ACL out.
00:19:59.000 That ball's going to clip you low.
00:20:00.000 It could still hit you in the dick.
00:20:01.000 Oh my god, these people are crazy.
00:20:02.000 No, it can't.
00:20:03.000 It's covered.
00:20:04.000 These people are crazy.
00:20:06.000 What is happening here?
00:20:08.000 Oh my god, I can't believe they're going to do this.
00:20:10.000 Okay.
00:20:11.000 Okay, so they're standing out here.
00:20:14.000 I gotta see these coming.
00:20:15.000 And they all have these balls on, and then they just release the bull.
00:20:19.000 And it's just running around, kicking.
00:20:21.000 Is there more than one bull?
00:20:22.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:20:23.000 Boom!
00:20:24.000 He collides in it.
00:20:25.000 Oh, fuck that, dude.
00:20:27.000 Oh, my God.
00:20:27.000 You could get trampled.
00:20:29.000 This is crazy.
00:20:30.000 This is a terrible idea.
00:20:32.000 Look at that guy.
00:20:32.000 He's like, oh, my God.
00:20:33.000 He's running away.
00:20:34.000 I mean, he's still running, which is amazing.
00:20:36.000 Well, he's lucky he's alive.
00:20:37.000 He's certainly lucky that he didn't get gored through the asshole.
00:20:40.000 That bull could have easily...
00:20:41.000 For people listening, this ball is small.
00:20:45.000 It's from the waist up.
00:20:47.000 His entire legs are exposed.
00:20:50.000 They should have had it so you're in the ball completely.
00:20:53.000 Oh, my God!
00:20:54.000 Oh, he got hit in the midsection.
00:20:55.000 Oh, my God.
00:20:57.000 Oh, my God.
00:20:57.000 This is terrible.
00:20:59.000 Hmm.
00:20:59.000 Oh my god.
00:21:02.000 The horns are out.
00:21:03.000 The horns are out.
00:21:04.000 See, it got deflated a little.
00:21:06.000 Oh my god, it did get deflated.
00:21:08.000 Oh, for sure it got deflated.
00:21:10.000 Jesus.
00:21:11.000 It got bent, too.
00:21:12.000 And I think the guy's dead.
00:21:13.000 He's not moving.
00:21:14.000 Those are hard to get in and out of them.
00:21:16.000 They are hard to get in and out of them.
00:21:17.000 Yeah, they're like, senor, senor, it's time to go.
00:21:21.000 Senor, you've got to wake up.
00:21:23.000 I hope as soon as he gets up, the bull comes back.
00:21:25.000 Oh my god, he took the thing off.
00:21:26.000 He doesn't even have it on.
00:21:27.000 Yeah.
00:21:28.000 And the bull's out there...
00:21:29.000 Oh, fuck.
00:21:30.000 Yeah, I would...
00:21:31.000 Mm-mm.
00:21:31.000 Okay, so...
00:21:31.000 You can play that game in that little trampoline thing.
00:21:35.000 That's the only place to do it.
00:21:36.000 What the fuck is it that we love this?
00:21:38.000 Like, part of us, like, here, honestly...
00:21:41.000 You mean watching people get hurt?
00:21:42.000 Yeah, we're watching something fucking ridiculous.
00:21:44.000 We're watching it from the point of, like, we're like, oh, man, this is crazy.
00:21:48.000 I can't believe they do this.
00:21:52.000 Look at him mid-air.
00:21:53.000 Holy shit.
00:21:54.000 Come on.
00:21:54.000 What is this?
00:21:55.000 Like, why are we so attracted to this?
00:21:57.000 Okay, it is weird that we're attracted to it, but think of a guy, mid-air, with his legs spread eagle, and he's about to land on a bull.
00:22:05.000 Do you know what I mean?
00:22:06.000 Like, what's going through his head?
00:22:08.000 We're watching.
00:22:09.000 He's a little slower than we are, don't you think?
00:22:12.000 Yeah, well, he probably felt like if it's a thing, it's okay.
00:22:16.000 I could do this.
00:22:17.000 Yeah, well, people feel like if it's a thing.
00:22:19.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:22:20.000 Like, if there's a thing that people do...
00:22:22.000 And you're like, oh, other people do it.
00:22:24.000 I could do it.
00:22:25.000 It's a thing.
00:22:26.000 He survived it.
00:22:27.000 He might be the first group.
00:22:31.000 He might be one of the first tasters.
00:22:33.000 Yeah, what if they were like, oh, we're testing something out.
00:22:35.000 Can you come test this out for us?
00:22:37.000 Would you be our guinea pig?
00:22:39.000 Would you do it?
00:22:40.000 Fuck that.
00:22:41.000 No, I mean, which is ironic because I hosted Fear Factor.
00:22:45.000 But no, I wouldn't.
00:22:46.000 I wouldn't want to have anything to do with anything like that.
00:22:48.000 That's crazy.
00:22:48.000 It needs to be bigger.
00:22:49.000 It needs to be where you're inside the ball, and it needs to be a stronger material, and then it'll be okay.
00:22:54.000 I mean, it's pretty strong material, but still, there's bullhorns coming at you.
00:22:58.000 Here's the problem with that.
00:23:00.000 Here's how I see it.
00:23:01.000 People, I think, vastly overestimate their ability to move their body.
00:23:06.000 Oh, yeah.
00:23:07.000 Vastly.
00:23:08.000 And they think, when that bull's coming, I'll just fucking go with it, and I'll just fucking, you know, when the bull hits me, it's not going to be like it hits you.
00:23:14.000 I'll fake him out.
00:23:15.000 Okay, I'm going to know.
00:23:16.000 Fake him in the backfield.
00:23:17.000 Yeah, all right.
00:23:17.000 That bull comes on you so fast.
00:23:20.000 Yeah.
00:23:22.000 That's a bad quote right there.
00:23:26.000 I got a little excited.
00:23:27.000 I don't know about anybody else.
00:23:28.000 I bet you did.
00:23:29.000 I'm thinking I'm going to get in this bullfight.
00:23:31.000 When you see that bull launch that dude into the air, I guarantee you that guy at that moment when he was flying was like, oh no, I fucked up.
00:23:39.000 Oh yeah, yeah.
00:23:40.000 This is not what I felt like.
00:23:41.000 This is way crazier.
00:23:42.000 This was not in the brochure.
00:23:44.000 You can't control this thing.
00:23:45.000 You can't control this.
00:23:46.000 I would die.
00:23:47.000 A guy probably didn't think before or after or during.
00:23:51.000 He's probably just a dumbass.
00:23:52.000 That's what I'm saying.
00:23:53.000 They're all dumbasses.
00:23:54.000 He's probably one of those I don't give a fuck dudes.
00:23:56.000 Hey man, I don't give a fuck.
00:23:57.000 I'm crazy.
00:23:58.000 I tell you what I'll do.
00:24:00.000 I'll climb inside that thing and let that bull hit me.
00:24:02.000 I don't give a fuck.
00:24:03.000 You can shoot an apple off my head, dude.
00:24:04.000 I ain't scared to die.
00:24:06.000 My granddaddy was an Indian.
00:24:10.000 100% Apache, bro.
00:24:12.000 I got that warrior blood.
00:24:13.000 I don't give a fuck.
00:24:14.000 I'm afraid of this.
00:24:15.000 What I gotta do?
00:24:15.000 What I gotta do?
00:24:16.000 Shit, I'll be the first in line.
00:24:18.000 First in line.
00:24:20.000 You see their brains slipping out of their skull.
00:24:22.000 Bad knees, fucked up, farmer's back.
00:24:25.000 I don't give a fuck if it's in there.
00:24:27.000 If it was a Fear Factor thing, I would do it.
00:24:30.000 Just for the money?
00:24:31.000 Like Fear Factor, I would only do the stunts.
00:24:33.000 I couldn't do the food.
00:24:34.000 I mean, I could barely eat in a regular restaurant.
00:24:36.000 You could have got lucky.
00:24:37.000 Some people got...
00:24:38.000 There was no parody, like, as far as, like, how difficult things were.
00:24:43.000 On some shows, there were...
00:24:44.000 I mean, it was always totally random what you got, what you had to eat.
00:24:47.000 But some of it was easy.
00:24:48.000 Like, roaches are easy.
00:24:50.000 No, no.
00:24:50.000 I'm telling you, roaches, they barely taste like anything.
00:24:55.000 Dude, I don't eat mayonnaise.
00:24:57.000 Like, I'm the worst.
00:24:58.000 You know what I mean?
00:24:59.000 I can't.
00:25:00.000 I'm, like, so picky.
00:25:01.000 There's a jizz joke in there somewhere.
00:25:03.000 I'm just thinking of that bull.
00:25:05.000 Yeah, it comes on you, and boom.
00:25:10.000 It's like mayonnaise.
00:25:10.000 Here we are, full circle.
00:25:12.000 I'm telling you, but it's all in your head because if you eat crabs, you're eating the same thing.
00:25:16.000 I don't eat seafood.
00:25:16.000 They're like a crab.
00:25:17.000 You don't eat seafood at all?
00:25:18.000 No, that's what I'm saying.
00:25:19.000 I'm the worst.
00:25:20.000 Fear factor to me is anything.
00:25:23.000 I eat Swedish fish.
00:25:25.000 Yeah, but if you really needed the money...
00:25:27.000 And you were there, and you looked at the other people you're with, and you're like, I'm not going to let these pussies beat me.
00:25:32.000 I know you.
00:25:32.000 You're crazy.
00:25:33.000 Yeah, I'm a little competitive, but not...
00:25:35.000 I don't know if I could be that competitive, like, letting everybody see me shit my pants right there, because it would probably go right through me.
00:25:43.000 That's what I'm afraid of.
00:25:44.000 Like, I would throw up or something awful.
00:25:46.000 Do you think you have an allergy to weird foods, or is it just you're just...
00:25:50.000 No, I think I'm just a little retarded.
00:25:52.000 Okay.
00:25:53.000 I know, I'm not allowed to say that word, sorry.
00:25:55.000 Here, this is a retard-free zone.
00:25:57.000 I got yelled at on Facebook for that.
00:25:59.000 People are angry.
00:26:01.000 Let's just go outside.
00:26:02.000 Like, literally sent me a list of words to say other than that.
00:26:06.000 How crazy is that?
00:26:07.000 How about no?
00:26:08.000 No.
00:26:09.000 So, whatever.
00:26:10.000 Language police, they're out there, and they're going to pull you over and give you a ticket, and they feel really good about it.
00:26:16.000 I don't like what you're saying.
00:26:17.000 I don't like how you're saying it.
00:26:19.000 The language police...
00:26:20.000 Intent is not as critical as the actual words that come out of your mouth, sweetie.
00:26:25.000 The language police, I will punch in the face.
00:26:28.000 That kind.
00:26:29.000 You'll hit them?
00:26:30.000 Yeah.
00:26:30.000 The language police.
00:26:31.000 Not a regular police.
00:26:32.000 I don't do that.
00:26:33.000 I'm not crazy.
00:26:34.000 You're pro cop.
00:26:35.000 I'm pro everybody.
00:26:37.000 I think everybody should learn to behave, but...
00:26:40.000 It's a language that they're misbehaving to me, the language police, so they get punched in the face.
00:26:45.000 Whoa, punched.
00:26:46.000 Or maybe I am a little violent, and I apologize.
00:26:48.000 That sounds very violent.
00:26:48.000 That's Philly.
00:26:48.000 I love to punch.
00:26:49.000 I do love to punch.
00:26:51.000 Isn't that terrible?
00:26:51.000 You're always punching people.
00:26:52.000 You're like one of those, you walk by, you'll punch people in the arm.
00:26:56.000 Look, you grew up in my house.
00:26:58.000 It's an insane asylum.
00:26:59.000 There was 10 of us in a row home.
00:27:01.000 So I have six brothers.
00:27:03.000 I woke up every day to a punch in the face, you know, or other stuff, whatever.
00:27:07.000 Dig to the face.
00:27:09.000 That's a lot of tolerance.
00:27:10.000 You grew up with a lot of tolerance for bullshit.
00:27:13.000 Yeah, so your patience, your skin gets thin.
00:27:17.000 I can't tell.
00:27:17.000 Thick.
00:27:18.000 Thick skinned.
00:27:19.000 I have one niece that was a little thin skinned, and then my brothers just beat that out of her.
00:27:25.000 Poor thing.
00:27:27.000 She didn't know what she was getting into.
00:27:29.000 We were like, oh, are you sensitive?
00:27:30.000 Come over here for a second.
00:27:32.000 And then now she's cool.
00:27:34.000 Now she's like, oh, I get it.
00:27:36.000 But it's stupid to be sensitive.
00:27:39.000 Well, how much could your parents even control you?
00:27:41.000 There's so many of you.
00:27:43.000 Especially because my parents split up.
00:27:45.000 So when I was like eight, they split up.
00:27:48.000 So it was like, oh, shit, it's on now.
00:27:51.000 Like, they can't catch me now.
00:27:53.000 But that wasn't true.
00:27:54.000 Because my dad's a Marine, and he only moved like five blocks away.
00:27:57.000 And he knew every cop in the neighborhood.
00:27:59.000 So if I did anything, he knew the next day.
00:28:04.000 Or he'd see me, he'd be out and see me.
00:28:06.000 And I'd be like, oh shit.
00:28:08.000 But I was afraid of my dad.
00:28:10.000 Like, are you guys?
00:28:10.000 I'm still afraid of my dad.
00:28:11.000 He's 80. Every once in a while, I'd be like, hey dad, you shouldn't do that.
00:28:17.000 But I still backed down.
00:28:19.000 He's crazy.
00:28:20.000 Even today, you couldn't get upset at him and talk to him person to person?
00:28:23.000 Hell no!
00:28:24.000 I had a fight with my friend.
00:28:26.000 I talked to him.
00:28:26.000 I call him because I use him for material.
00:28:29.000 He just gives gems.
00:28:31.000 You know what I mean?
00:28:32.000 Now he lives in Rehoboth Beach.
00:28:33.000 He's retired.
00:28:34.000 Where's that?
00:28:34.000 It's in Delaware, and it's a predominantly gay area.
00:28:39.000 Hollow!
00:28:40.000 My dad's a Marine, covered in tattoos.
00:28:42.000 He still wears his dog tags.
00:28:44.000 That's what they like to jerk off to?
00:28:45.000 Yes!
00:28:46.000 He did not know that.
00:28:48.000 Now he knows that.
00:28:49.000 And he also refers to lesbians as girl faggots.
00:28:52.000 I'm like, that's not what they are.
00:28:57.000 And then I'm like, they're lesbians.
00:28:58.000 And he's like, I don't care where they're from.
00:29:01.000 The UFC has an openly gay women's bantamweight champion.
00:29:04.000 Oh my god, that's awesome.
00:29:06.000 Yeah, she's a beast too.
00:29:08.000 I would say the UFC, one thing I love about them is that the women are just as good.
00:29:13.000 Amanda Nunez is badass.
00:29:15.000 She's the new champ.
00:29:17.000 She knocked out Misha Tate.
00:29:18.000 She stopped her in the first round.
00:29:19.000 It was flawless.
00:29:20.000 I only saw the highlights, but great fight.
00:29:22.000 She's awesome.
00:29:23.000 She's awesome.
00:29:24.000 She's so fast.
00:29:25.000 She's like lightning fast.
00:29:26.000 Her hands are so explosive.
00:29:28.000 She's so hard to get to.
00:29:30.000 She's one of those girls, she's like a sprinter, and in the third and fourth and fifth round, that's when she's going to have a hard time because she blows out so much.
00:29:38.000 But she takes people out.
00:29:40.000 She's very, very good from standing and on the ground as well.
00:29:44.000 Her jiu-jitsu is really good, but she's so explosive.
00:29:46.000 The only worry or concern that people have is that I wonder if she can sustain that level.
00:29:53.000 That's with anybody though, isn't it?
00:29:55.000 She's incredible.
00:29:56.000 It's really interesting because she has had fights where she kind of faded in the past.
00:30:00.000 But you've got to get through that storm that she brings.
00:30:04.000 She's so explosive.
00:30:06.000 It's between her and...
00:30:09.000 I don't think anybody moves quite as fast as her or hits quite as hard as her in that division.
00:30:16.000 There might be girls like Holly Holm that might be a little bit more skillful as a striker or much more experienced as a striker.
00:30:23.000 But very few people hit with the kind of pop that she's got.
00:30:25.000 It's something to watch.
00:30:27.000 Yeah.
00:30:27.000 Woo!
00:30:28.000 Holly Holm is great, too.
00:30:29.000 She's awesome.
00:30:30.000 Just watching her.
00:30:31.000 And Rhonda's my favorite from the get.
00:30:33.000 Like, I wish they had that when I was a kid.
00:30:36.000 I think we talked about that before.
00:30:37.000 Like, I definitely would have gotten into that as a kid.
00:30:40.000 I know you would have.
00:30:41.000 Easily, because I wouldn't have gotten arrested as much.
00:30:44.000 So it's, like, easier that way.
00:30:45.000 There's another woman's Bantamweight that doesn't get enough credit.
00:30:47.000 Raquel Pennington.
00:30:49.000 Oh.
00:30:51.000 You've seen her fight?
00:30:52.000 She's good.
00:30:52.000 No, I'm trying to scan my brain.
00:30:54.000 She's a beast.
00:30:55.000 Probably if I see her face, I'm like, oh, I saw this.
00:30:57.000 Ferocious.
00:30:58.000 Very, very skillful.
00:30:59.000 She's like on the outside of the very top.
00:31:02.000 But she's beating some really tough people.
00:31:05.000 I watch and I get jealous.
00:31:07.000 I'm like, I want to get in there.
00:31:09.000 Holly Holm and her fought in Holly Holm's UFC debut, and it was a split decision.
00:31:16.000 Really close fight.
00:31:17.000 She's very good.
00:31:18.000 And better now than she was then.
00:31:22.000 And then she wears a shirt that says Rocky.
00:31:24.000 Killer.
00:31:25.000 Anything that says Rocky.
00:31:26.000 She's got this one submission victory where she catches this girl Ashley Evans-Smith in a bulldog choke and chokes her unconscious with like one second to go in the first round.
00:31:37.000 She lets go over her neck and she's out cold in this puddle of blood.
00:31:41.000 It was one of those where you're doing commentary.
00:31:43.000 You're like...
00:31:44.000 It was a screamer.
00:31:46.000 It was so ridiculous.
00:31:49.000 But women's bantamweight division is filled with fucking killers now.
00:31:54.000 There's so many good fighters.
00:31:55.000 It's like they're trading titles now.
00:31:57.000 And they're the main events, which I love.
00:31:59.000 I love that.
00:32:00.000 That's a big, big deal.
00:32:02.000 Women's sports, you know, they don't...
00:32:03.000 Well, it's definitely a big deal for the biggest pay-per-view ever.
00:32:06.000 I mean, obviously it wasn't going to be if Jon Jones didn't test positive for something.
00:32:10.000 Right, I get it.
00:32:11.000 But because he did...
00:32:13.000 It's switched around.
00:32:15.000 Is he admitting to it yet?
00:32:17.000 Is he saying what he did?
00:32:18.000 No, he's not saying anything.
00:32:20.000 Chael P. Sonnen leaked the information during my last podcast, so it's out.
00:32:25.000 Chael has leaked out information.
00:32:28.000 Is it what he said to me out there?
00:32:30.000 I know nothing.
00:32:32.000 I didn't hear anything.
00:32:33.000 I wasn't even here.
00:32:34.000 I don't know what you're talking about.
00:32:35.000 Honestly, I'm in a weird position because I don't think he's supposed to be talking about the medical results until it gets released.
00:32:43.000 I don't know how it works.
00:32:44.000 I really don't.
00:32:45.000 I'm going to plead ignorance.
00:32:46.000 I plead ignorance all day.
00:32:48.000 It's my middle name, I think.
00:32:50.000 He probably took boner pills because they have all that shit in them.
00:32:54.000 Boner pills have steroids in them.
00:32:55.000 Why do you have a boner pill in your hand?
00:32:58.000 Because I just found Joe's gas station over here.
00:33:01.000 It has like the best...
00:33:03.000 I've never seen these rhinoceroses.
00:33:04.000 Brian is known for his love of the boner pill.
00:33:07.000 He is what you would call a boner pill connoisseur.
00:33:09.000 He's actually read blogs about boner pills and directed me to reviews of boner pills.
00:33:15.000 I'm really terrified.
00:33:17.000 These things have steroids in them.
00:33:19.000 They have a bunch of stuff.
00:33:21.000 Wasn't the last thing he got busted for cocaine or something?
00:33:24.000 If you do cocaine, a lot of guys take these because you can get hard off of having cocaine.
00:33:28.000 If he takes boner pills, then he's going to be tested for steroids.
00:33:31.000 I think this is a little too much speculation for a person who I deeply respect.
00:33:36.000 I'm going to have to step out of this conversation.
00:33:38.000 Are you going to take the boner pill now?
00:33:40.000 I can neither confirm nor deny.
00:33:42.000 Can I switch seats?
00:33:44.000 It's not like he turns into a werewolf.
00:33:46.000 It'd be hilarious if he just starts chasing us around the room.
00:33:49.000 Do you want me to take one?
00:33:51.000 He just lays his dick out on the table.
00:33:52.000 Oh my god, what would happen?
00:33:54.000 That one has a four inch clitoris.
00:33:55.000 I don't need this.
00:33:56.000 That one has a hologram of a rhino and you turn it and it turns into a butt.
00:34:00.000 A woman's butt.
00:34:01.000 Oh, interesting.
00:34:03.000 And this is at the gas station?
00:34:04.000 How do you know what are the good ones and what are the bad ones?
00:34:07.000 How do you know what to take?
00:34:08.000 I've come to the conclusion that if it has a rhinoceros on it, it works.
00:34:12.000 And the great thing, if you're lucky, lived in New York City.
00:34:16.000 New York City has these bodegas everywhere.
00:34:18.000 They all have them.
00:34:19.000 And they have older product, which is usually stronger.
00:34:22.000 Because...
00:34:23.000 Oh yeah, because they haven't gotten in there.
00:34:25.000 Because people have died from them already.
00:34:27.000 Like you're going to have a giant heart on cock, but not...
00:34:30.000 Okay, we keep talking about this, but we need to fucking run a test.
00:34:33.000 Here, take one.
00:34:34.000 And find out what...
00:34:35.000 No, I'm not going to take it, but what I'm thinking about doing is taking it to a laboratory.
00:34:39.000 Oh, there you go.
00:34:39.000 And find out what's in it.
00:34:40.000 But I don't want the fucking Chinese triad to be after me.
00:34:43.000 Like some shitty Mickey Rourke movie.
00:34:45.000 No, I shouldn't even say shitty.
00:34:47.000 The good one.
00:34:47.000 Year of the Dragon.
00:34:48.000 That was a great fucking movie.
00:34:49.000 Oh, yeah, that was a good movie.
00:34:50.000 It wasn't shitty.
00:34:50.000 I was going for comic effect.
00:34:52.000 I had to check myself for reality.
00:34:53.000 There you go.
00:34:55.000 Listen, I'm pro-rhino.
00:34:58.000 You want to sell these things?
00:34:59.000 Good.
00:35:00.000 Hope they work.
00:35:01.000 They're great.
00:35:02.000 Just don't take the black cat ones or any of the cat ones because those ones actually made me see visuals and stuff.
00:35:09.000 Are you serious?
00:35:11.000 I think it's like blood pressure or something, maybe.
00:35:14.000 It's all fucked up, so don't take those, because that fucks with your blood pressure.
00:35:17.000 Pretty hardcore.
00:35:18.000 Yeah, don't take risks.
00:35:21.000 If he tells you don't take it, don't take it, folks.
00:35:23.000 Trust me.
00:35:24.000 I don't care where you think your tolerances lie.
00:35:27.000 If you think you have the same tolerance as Redband, you're incorrect.
00:35:32.000 He's got you.
00:35:33.000 But do they get you high?
00:35:34.000 They make you kind of rage.
00:35:36.000 Well, the ones that have the steroids in them, which I've found, I think most of them have steroids in them.
00:35:40.000 You could tell the difference with those because you immediately want to fuck.
00:35:44.000 You're not only getting hard, you're like, I need to get laid right now.
00:35:48.000 That's like Molly.
00:35:50.000 I know you directed me to a website.
00:35:52.000 FDA.gov.
00:35:53.000 But one of them that was explaining all the different ingredients that were in these things, that a guy broke it down, and what they do to you.
00:36:00.000 Oh, yeah.
00:36:01.000 There's a few of those, but unfortunately, that guy doesn't...
00:36:04.000 He's only talking about what's on the back, like what they're saying that's in it.
00:36:08.000 Oh, he didn't test it?
00:36:09.000 I thought he tested it.
00:36:10.000 Let's see if anybody's ever actually tested what is in boner pills.
00:36:13.000 FDA has.
00:36:14.000 Has anyone tested the word?
00:36:16.000 FDA tells you everything that's in all of them.
00:36:18.000 You could even look up Rhino, and you see some older ones on there, and they're usually...
00:36:22.000 Steroids, and it's usually Viagra.
00:36:24.000 Generic Viagra.
00:36:25.000 Oh, okay.
00:36:25.000 So the FDA has a list of what they called them, right?
00:36:29.000 The names.
00:36:30.000 But what's to stop you from just starting to sell something called Rhino 10?
00:36:34.000 Like, this is Rhino 7. Like, you don't have...
00:36:36.000 I bet they don't own Rhino.
00:36:38.000 No.
00:36:38.000 I don't know.
00:36:39.000 The same company actually has, like, the Rhino brand, the one that you're holding right now, has, I've got all the way up to Rhino 69. And I have about 20 different Rhinos.
00:36:49.000 So they just change the number every time they get in trouble to a different one.
00:36:53.000 Look at this.
00:36:53.000 Public notification.
00:36:55.000 MySteelWoody contains hidden drug ingredient.
00:37:00.000 The Food and Drug Administration is advising consumers not to purchase or use MySteelWoody, a product promoted and sold for sexual enhancement on various websites, including blah, blah, blah, and possibly some retail stores.
00:37:13.000 The FDA laboratory analysis confirmed that MySteelWoody contains...
00:37:18.000 Sildenafil?
00:37:18.000 Oh, that's Viagra.
00:37:20.000 Yeah.
00:37:21.000 Okay, it says, it's the, how do you say that word?
00:37:26.000 Sildenafil.
00:37:28.000 Sildenafil.
00:37:29.000 Is that it?
00:37:29.000 I'm just going to trust you on that.
00:37:30.000 It's the active ingredient in Viagra, so the main ingredient in Viagra.
00:37:34.000 Used to treat erectile dysfunction.
00:37:35.000 The undeclared ingredient may interact with nitrates found in some prescription drugs such as...
00:37:40.000 Oh, yeah.
00:37:41.000 So that's like, for people who have heart issues, when they take blood pressure medication, if they're taking Viagra at the same time, they could fucking croak.
00:37:49.000 Yeah.
00:37:49.000 Or if you have diabetes, don't take it.
00:37:52.000 Because these things will fuck you up.
00:37:54.000 So these MySteelWoody guys...
00:37:55.000 So if you don't know...
00:37:56.000 These corrupt fuckers...
00:37:57.000 Oh my god, hold up.
00:37:58.000 Scroll all the way up.
00:37:59.000 Go back to the top.
00:38:00.000 Hold on a second.
00:38:01.000 Holy shit!
00:38:02.000 The public notifications of how many drugs contain...
00:38:05.000 Or how many of these supplements contain drugs.
00:38:08.000 This is insane.
00:38:09.000 So public notification...
00:38:11.000 Rhino 7. Hold on a second.
00:38:12.000 Sextra...
00:38:13.000 Contains hidden drug ingredients.
00:38:15.000 Neophase natural sex enhancer contains a hidden drug ingredient.
00:38:18.000 There's like a list over and over and over and over.
00:38:21.000 There's so many of them.
00:38:22.000 Rhino-7.
00:38:23.000 Yeah, there's Rhino-7.
00:38:24.000 Scroll back up.
00:38:25.000 Rhino-7.
00:38:27.000 Rhino 7 Blue 9000. Look, this is Rhino 7 Blue.
00:38:31.000 9000?
00:38:32.000 I don't know.
00:38:33.000 They just changed the number.
00:38:34.000 5200. Oh look, it's right there.
00:38:36.000 What's the batch?
00:38:37.000 What's the new name?
00:38:38.000 No headache.
00:38:40.000 John Jones has a headache.
00:38:41.000 Why does it say no headache?
00:38:43.000 Oh Brian, you're so rude.
00:38:45.000 I can't believe you.
00:38:47.000 This is awful.
00:38:48.000 I wonder if Jon Jones, if he did take these, if he could sue Rhino, say, bullshit, I got a headache from it.
00:38:53.000 You say no headache.
00:38:54.000 Right.
00:38:55.000 That's true.
00:38:56.000 I mean, the word is bond, right?
00:38:58.000 Millions of dollars.
00:38:59.000 If it's written on the front of the package.
00:39:02.000 Isn't word is bond?
00:39:03.000 Yes.
00:39:03.000 I mean, that holds true.
00:39:05.000 This is, wow.
00:39:06.000 I don't know.
00:39:07.000 Who knows?
00:39:08.000 This is crazy.
00:39:09.000 I can't believe that.
00:39:10.000 I just don't understand.
00:39:11.000 If someone was going to take something like that, why wouldn't you take...
00:39:15.000 Why don't you just take Viagra if you knew what's in Viagra?
00:39:18.000 If you're going to get Viagra, you're going to get it.
00:39:19.000 Do you have to get a prescription for that?
00:39:21.000 I'll tell you what, man.
00:39:22.000 Yeah, I guess so, yeah.
00:39:23.000 I mean, you can get it on the street.
00:39:25.000 You can get anything on the street, but I mean...
00:39:27.000 At shows now, a lot of guys give me Viagra.
00:39:29.000 That's like, hey, Brian, instead of giving me weed, they'll just give me, I got you some Viagra.
00:39:33.000 But I try it now.
00:39:35.000 It's not even close.
00:39:36.000 What's happening to you?
00:39:36.000 It's not even close to the...
00:39:39.000 It's not even close though.
00:39:40.000 Like this, this little store-bought Rhino 7, way better than a Viagra or any of the Cialis's.
00:39:47.000 So it's what you think is probably like steroids and maybe like amphetamines or something?
00:39:51.000 It's swole.
00:39:52.000 It swells up.
00:40:01.000 I could sell it to Uncle Steve.
00:40:06.000 Will you take one of these?
00:40:07.000 Will you take one of these home and take one of these?
00:40:09.000 Yeah, that doesn't seem like a good idea.
00:40:10.000 I don't know what the fuck is in those things, dude.
00:40:13.000 I'm not into taking something, some mystery drug.
00:40:15.000 Well, you just saw the list of everything that's in it.
00:40:17.000 They made that shit on an island somewhere in the South Pacific.
00:40:20.000 They have slaves churning those out.
00:40:23.000 I mean, who knows what the difference is batch to batch?
00:40:26.000 There's no, like, quality control.
00:40:28.000 Like, this is the Wild West.
00:40:29.000 Which batch are you talking about?
00:40:30.000 You're putting shit in your body!
00:40:31.000 I know.
00:40:31.000 Are you really good at, like, everything you put in your body, you know what it is and what goes into it?
00:40:37.000 As much as you can, but if you eat at restaurants, you don't really know.
00:40:40.000 No, you're right.
00:40:41.000 I'm the worst.
00:40:42.000 I'm...
00:40:43.000 Do you eat everything?
00:40:44.000 No.
00:40:45.000 You eat nothing?
00:40:46.000 I don't eat anything, but I eat shitty food.
00:40:47.000 I mean, like, eat whatever you want.
00:40:49.000 I know you don't eat seafood at all, right?
00:40:51.000 Yes.
00:40:51.000 No, I don't like seafood.
00:40:52.000 But you eat like a monster.
00:40:54.000 But you have a great metabolism.
00:40:56.000 You've always had a crazy metabolism.
00:40:57.000 True, but I like candy.
00:40:58.000 Like, I'd eat Swedish fish and think, oh, I had fish for dinner.
00:41:02.000 You know what I mean?
00:41:02.000 Like, I love candy, stuff like that.
00:41:04.000 You're okay.
00:41:05.000 Cake, cookies.
00:41:06.000 Well, I took a boner pill.
00:41:08.000 You ate the fish and you feel like you had fish for dinner.
00:41:09.000 I feel uncomfortable.
00:41:10.000 If you did take one of those, I wonder, that's what we should wonder.
00:41:13.000 Well, I'll tell you what happens.
00:41:14.000 Oh, put it in me?
00:41:15.000 Yeah.
00:41:16.000 Shit.
00:41:16.000 Wait a minute.
00:41:17.000 That came out wrong.
00:41:19.000 So somebody gave me a Viagra or Cialis, the blue one.
00:41:23.000 I think that's a Viagra.
00:41:24.000 Right.
00:41:24.000 And I didn't want to take it, so I put it in my Zantac container.
00:41:28.000 Zantac.
00:41:29.000 It's for heartburn.
00:41:30.000 Oh, yeah.
00:41:31.000 Zantac.
00:41:33.000 I was like, you know, I don't want to fly with this pill in my pocket.
00:41:35.000 Somebody's put it in my Zantac.
00:41:37.000 Forgot I did that.
00:41:38.000 My girlfriend took it by mistake thinking it was a Zantac.
00:41:41.000 And she said that she felt weird, like felt tingly and stuff like that, but it didn't do anything.
00:41:47.000 Does it look like a Zantac?
00:41:49.000 It looks like a Zantac.
00:41:50.000 Imagine if she went to work and got popped for steroids.
00:41:54.000 You know, if she had a job at UPS or something like that.
00:41:56.000 Ma'am, we're going to have to get your urine sample.
00:41:59.000 Well, you're wasting your time here.
00:42:00.000 I don't even smoke pot.
00:42:02.000 Your pants are swelling up.
00:42:03.000 Whoa.
00:42:04.000 They get it back.
00:42:05.000 Your employees are on fucking hardcore steroids.
00:42:08.000 This bitch is tweaking.
00:42:09.000 She's trying.
00:42:12.000 Terrible.
00:42:12.000 Yeah, she had a horse's foot.
00:42:14.000 A horse's foot?
00:42:15.000 She said it was kind of tingly.
00:42:17.000 Get it?
00:42:17.000 Not a moose knuckle, but a horse's foot?
00:42:22.000 It was going like this.
00:42:24.000 Moose knuckle is a weird...
00:42:26.000 That's a good one.
00:42:27.000 That is a silly...
00:42:28.000 That's a funny thing to say.
00:42:30.000 If you don't think that moose knuckle is funny, it's because you're avoiding humor.
00:42:35.000 I agree.
00:42:36.000 You're avoiding opportunities to lie.
00:42:37.000 You're not a good person at heart.
00:42:39.000 You really aren't.
00:42:40.000 You should check yourself all the way through.
00:42:42.000 Out of all the animals...
00:42:45.000 I mean, how many people actually see a moose knuckle?
00:42:47.000 I know what that looks like.
00:42:49.000 We had to have photos before it became a moose knuckle.
00:42:52.000 Because it's not like that many people see a moose.
00:42:54.000 I just think men...
00:42:55.000 There it is.
00:42:56.000 That's a moose knuckle.
00:42:57.000 That's a total moose knuckle.
00:42:59.000 That's a guy.
00:42:59.000 That is a guy only on paper.
00:43:03.000 Only on paper.
00:43:04.000 You're right.
00:43:05.000 But think about it.
00:43:07.000 Trouble using the restroom.
00:43:09.000 I bet they would never call it moose knuckle in the 1800s because they didn't have any pictures.
00:43:13.000 They had to see a moose.
00:43:15.000 You had to see a photo of a moose.
00:43:17.000 Women weren't allowed to wear pants, I think.
00:43:19.000 That's true.
00:43:19.000 That too.
00:43:20.000 But, like, for the longest time.
00:43:21.000 So that's, like, an expression that we can prove, like, did not exist before that.
00:43:25.000 Because if you, like, lived in New York in, like, 1830, and you said, oh, I see your moose knuckle, they'd be like, what the fuck does a moose knuckle look like?
00:43:34.000 He's from the future.
00:43:35.000 They don't even know, they don't have a photo.
00:43:37.000 They're just looking at a drawing.
00:43:38.000 I wonder what they used to call it, like a slave foot?
00:43:40.000 Or maybe you could just see a moose walking around, because they weren't...
00:43:44.000 Maybe.
00:43:45.000 They held up back then.
00:43:46.000 Yeah, but I don't think there were that many that you would see them if you lived in a city.
00:43:49.000 If you lived in Maine, you're like, oh, he's just walking through.
00:43:54.000 How many moose, though?
00:43:56.000 See, it's not native to that much.
00:43:58.000 It doesn't have a large range in North America.
00:44:01.000 It's got the northern states.
00:44:02.000 You're right, yeah.
00:44:03.000 Colorado, Maine has moose, New Hampshire.
00:44:06.000 I remember seeing a sign, watch out for the moose, because they're real tall.
00:44:09.000 They're huge.
00:44:11.000 Your car could hit them or something.
00:44:12.000 I was terrified.
00:44:14.000 It was the creepiest, longest drive I've ever done.
00:44:16.000 Well, they're scary because you die when you hit one of those.
00:44:19.000 Those things kill people.
00:44:21.000 But then deer, too.
00:44:22.000 Deer just dart out now anywhere.
00:44:24.000 Deer kill 200 people a year in car accidents in just the United States.
00:44:29.000 Yeah, there was a ton I saw in Jersey just a couple weeks ago.
00:44:32.000 Oh, yeah.
00:44:32.000 Jersey's infested.
00:44:33.000 I didn't see deer.
00:44:35.000 I just saw the signs.
00:44:36.000 But there was more than I've ever seen.
00:44:38.000 Yeah, they're everywhere.
00:44:39.000 Everybody was talking about hitting deers.
00:44:41.000 And I'm like, what?
00:44:42.000 And people are like, it's because our predators.
00:44:45.000 You've gotten rid of all the predators.
00:44:47.000 Oh yeah, well let's just let some fucking hyenas and mountain lions loose.
00:44:52.000 Take out all the deer.
00:44:53.000 Bring them back.
00:44:53.000 Then you've got hyenas and mountain lions around your kids, you fucking wackadoo.
00:44:59.000 People are crazy.
00:45:00.000 They're crazy.
00:45:01.000 I mean, I love crazy, but at the same time, they're going a little too far with the crazy these days.
00:45:07.000 Well, don't you think, like, as a comedian, like, you are...
00:45:10.000 We need them?
00:45:11.000 No.
00:45:11.000 I mean, it's funny.
00:45:13.000 It's fun sometimes, because it's something to push back against.
00:45:16.000 Yeah.
00:45:16.000 Because some of them are just so ridiculous.
00:45:20.000 It's so regressive.
00:45:21.000 It's crazy.
00:45:22.000 Trying to control people.
00:45:23.000 You're not...
00:45:24.000 An openly tolerant person is someone who wants to communicate the difference between their ideas and your ideas.
00:45:31.000 Yeah.
00:45:31.000 That's not what's going on.
00:45:33.000 I joke about my dad.
00:45:35.000 He's the most un-PC person there is.
00:45:40.000 I know there's a lot, but he's at the top, I think.
00:45:43.000 He's pretty bad.
00:45:45.000 The guys from that generation...
00:45:46.000 Yeah, but my nieces and nephews, the young ones, they yell at them, pop, pop, you can't talk like that.
00:45:50.000 You know, pop, pop, you can't say that.
00:45:52.000 He's like, what the hell is this kid talking?
00:45:55.000 You know, my dad has, like, weapons everywhere.
00:45:58.000 He's crazy.
00:45:58.000 Jesus.
00:45:59.000 It's, like, insane.
00:46:00.000 Like, people are like, oh, my God, gun violence.
00:46:03.000 I literally went home.
00:46:04.000 I was working on the East Coast, right?
00:46:06.000 And I went to a funeral.
00:46:08.000 My dad's brother, my Uncle Tom, his girlfriend died, 88 years old.
00:46:12.000 He's still, what I'm saying, is taking rhino pills, obviously.
00:46:16.000 So, whatever.
00:46:18.000 So, there was a funeral, and then we went to his house, and he's this tough, tough man, like a real man.
00:46:23.000 Like, he built bridges.
00:46:24.000 That's what he did with his life.
00:46:25.000 You know, he was a Marine for years, and he stood up to, like, look out the window, and his belt buckle was dangling, and it said NRA. And I was like, Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:46:34.000 I forgot where I was from for a minute.
00:46:36.000 Like, these are the people that I grew up around.
00:46:39.000 Like, I didn't...
00:46:39.000 It never fazed me.
00:46:41.000 But we were always taught, like, you know, you don't touch that.
00:46:44.000 You don't do this.
00:46:44.000 But my dad had grenades in the typewriter store.
00:46:47.000 Like, I don't know what we need these for, Dad, but...
00:46:50.000 Are you seeing things that we're not?
00:46:53.000 What is happening in here?
00:46:55.000 But he was like that.
00:46:56.000 Me and my brothers, of course, we would get into it.
00:46:59.000 You know how classic that description is?
00:47:00.000 My dad had grenades at his typewriter store.
00:47:04.000 You're dealing with madness here.
00:47:07.000 Full-blown madness.
00:47:08.000 First of all, any dude with a typewriter store should be watched.
00:47:13.000 And any guy, ladies, please do me a favor.
00:47:16.000 If you go over a guy's house and he says that he's a poet and he's got a typewriter, run.
00:47:20.000 Just get out of there.
00:47:21.000 Run or call me, I can fix the typewriter.
00:47:24.000 Especially if it's one of those old-schooly typewriters.
00:47:26.000 If that guy writes all his stuff in an old-schooly...
00:47:30.000 That's called manual.
00:47:31.000 Please don't fuck that guy, girls.
00:47:33.000 Just make him change.
00:47:35.000 I called my dad three days ago, and I said, what are you doing?
00:47:38.000 He said, fixing a typewriter.
00:47:40.000 I go, will you please stop this?
00:47:41.000 Like, I thought he was kidding.
00:47:42.000 But here the neighbor still types letters out, and something broke, and my dad had to clean it up for him.
00:47:49.000 And he goes, I had to re-spool the ribbon.
00:47:51.000 And then I started having flashbacks.
00:47:53.000 I'm like, why do I know how to re-spool ribbon?
00:47:55.000 Why wasn't I educated properly in life?
00:47:58.000 You know what I mean?
00:47:59.000 Like, that's it.
00:47:59.000 All I know is typewriters.
00:48:01.000 I could fix your typewriter.
00:48:02.000 I could do it.
00:48:03.000 That thing is crazy to me.
00:48:04.000 That laptop?
00:48:05.000 I don't know what that is.
00:48:06.000 Remember when you had to erase something?
00:48:07.000 You had, like, the little white thing that you put in?
00:48:10.000 Yeah, kill it.
00:48:10.000 Instead of just hitting delete?
00:48:11.000 We used to sell those, man.
00:48:13.000 $1.99.
00:48:14.000 We used to have to paint over it.
00:48:15.000 And then you would back up.
00:48:16.000 Yeah.
00:48:17.000 Go all the way back, mess it up.
00:48:19.000 My dad types with one finger.
00:48:21.000 I would have never learned how to type if it wasn't for video games.
00:48:24.000 Mm-hmm.
00:48:25.000 I learned how to type.
00:48:26.000 I learned how to type 100% so I could talk to people quicker when I was playing Quake.
00:48:33.000 That's how I learned how to type.
00:48:35.000 100%.
00:48:35.000 Wow!
00:48:36.000 That's a good angle for people like, well, you don't need typing now, but we had typing in high school, because especially women, they're like, yeah, learn to type.
00:48:43.000 You're not going to do anything else.
00:48:44.000 Well, I used to write all my stuff out longhand until I started playing video games.
00:48:49.000 And when I started video games is also when I started writing blogs.
00:48:52.000 I started working on figuring out how to type, and I got one of those Mavis Bacon things.
00:48:58.000 You ever do that?
00:48:58.000 It's like a game.
00:49:00.000 It's pretty cool.
00:49:00.000 I never got into video games at all.
00:49:01.000 No, no, but Mavis Bacon teaches typing.
00:49:04.000 Oh, I see.
00:49:05.000 So it's a typing program, but it's a video game.
00:49:07.000 And I still don't know it.
00:49:08.000 I grew up in a typewriter store.
00:49:09.000 Well, it's probably only for videos.
00:49:11.000 Oh, maybe.
00:49:11.000 Okay.
00:49:12.000 Or only for computers.
00:49:12.000 But it's awesome.
00:49:13.000 It's like really a great way to learn because the things show up and you're supposed to keep your hands in the position, the perfect position.
00:49:21.000 Home keys.
00:49:22.000 Yeah.
00:49:22.000 And then when the little things are moving across, it's like you have to try to keep up with what's being typed.
00:49:27.000 Yeah.
00:49:28.000 And you have to follow it underneath.
00:49:29.000 Oh.
00:49:30.000 And there's, like, games you play, and I sound like a spokesperson.
00:49:34.000 I like this.
00:49:35.000 Yeah, you are.
00:49:35.000 But that's how I learned to type.
00:49:36.000 I learned to type doing that.
00:49:38.000 Can you do it without looking?
00:49:39.000 Like, are you that good?
00:49:40.000 Oh, my mom's that person.
00:49:42.000 But I don't do it totally correct.
00:49:44.000 You know, I probably had a hurt finger when I learned, so I lift up one of them or something.
00:49:50.000 I think I use, like, four on one side and three on the other side.
00:49:54.000 Yeah, there's definitely, like, an odd...
00:49:56.000 I remember they used to yell, like, in typing class, like, Do use your pinkies.
00:50:00.000 These bitches are not cooperative.
00:50:02.000 Yeah, they don't work the way you think.
00:50:04.000 No, they don't work that good.
00:50:05.000 You're like, go, go, and it's not going.
00:50:07.000 You're like, ah, fuck it, and you use the other finger.
00:50:09.000 Yeah, my pinkies are so uncooperative.
00:50:11.000 It's like little toes.
00:50:12.000 But these fingers, like, I got it, I got it, I got it.
00:50:14.000 Just give it to me, stupid.
00:50:15.000 You don't know what the fuck you're doing.
00:50:16.000 Come on, come on, come on, come on.
00:50:17.000 My pinky's like, I got it, bitch.
00:50:18.000 Why are you being such an asshole?
00:50:20.000 Like, look at the difference.
00:50:21.000 It's like, fuck it, dude.
00:50:22.000 I can fucking do it, dude.
00:50:23.000 I can fucking totally do it.
00:50:24.000 Don't tell me I can't do it, dude.
00:50:25.000 I can do it just as good as you do it.
00:50:26.000 Look at me.
00:50:28.000 Look at me, you fuck.
00:50:29.000 You can't do shit.
00:50:29.000 Come on!
00:50:31.000 You're stoned.
00:50:31.000 It's all for everybody.
00:50:32.000 Oh, my God.
00:50:33.000 That's what it is.
00:50:34.000 I'm done, bro.
00:50:35.000 Fuck you, man.
00:50:37.000 I'm just as good as you, man.
00:50:38.000 My pinkies are strong, man.
00:50:39.000 It's all about your mind, bro.
00:50:42.000 Talk about your mentality.
00:50:43.000 You guys are retarded.
00:50:46.000 Talk about your mentality.
00:50:47.000 Your mentality is no good.
00:50:52.000 Wasn't that was not Sally Jessie Raphael one of those fucking shows it might have been Jenny Jones.
00:50:56.000 I don't remember which show it was.
00:50:58.000 That's old school, right?
00:50:59.000 But I never forget this dude because there's this girl and she's like dressing really trashy and she's like Disrespecting her mom is always crazy shit going on and this dude gets up in the audience gets up in the audience and you know Do you have any anything you want to say to her?
00:51:13.000 You know, they'd go to the audience.
00:51:14.000 Yeah people's responses He goes If you had a good personality, you could pull that off.
00:51:21.000 If you had some panaz.
00:51:23.000 He goes, but your personality sucks, and that make you look nasty.
00:51:34.000 I love it.
00:51:34.000 I never forget that dude.
00:51:36.000 Your personality sucks.
00:51:38.000 And that made you look nasty.
00:51:40.000 And everybody was like, oh shit!
00:51:43.000 It was me and Candy Alexander when we were on news radio together.
00:51:49.000 We were in between takes and we were hanging out in one of the break rooms or whatever it was.
00:51:53.000 And we were watching one of those daytime shows.
00:51:56.000 This was pre-internet, man.
00:51:57.000 There was no internet back then.
00:51:59.000 Yeah, that was like the perfect, what they look for now on the internet is what we use to watch.
00:52:04.000 Yeah, I mean, the internet existed, but you go to like AOL.com or something like that.
00:52:08.000 You never saw anything like that.
00:52:09.000 No.
00:52:10.000 Yeah.
00:52:10.000 How long do you think it's been since all that's been coming up?
00:52:14.000 I feel like I have no idea of the time frame of when this became the thing.
00:52:19.000 It's kind of snuck up on us, right?
00:52:20.000 It keeps getting more and more embedded in everybody's life.
00:52:23.000 Ari Shafir and Big Jay Oakerson did a fucking hilarious podcast where Ari and Big Jay are on a roof in New York City.
00:52:31.000 And they're peeping tomming on this girl and this guy.
00:52:36.000 Sounds so Ari.
00:52:37.000 Yeah, and this girl and this guy, they keep about to get it on, and they check their phones.
00:52:43.000 Shut up!
00:52:43.000 They're on top of each other, checking their phones, on each other.
00:52:47.000 Like, she's riding him, and she's checking her phone, and he pauses in, like, grabbing her ass.
00:52:54.000 He pauses and grabs his phone.
00:52:56.000 That doesn't make sense.
00:52:57.000 Might be Pokemon Go.
00:52:58.000 I mean, yeah, right?
00:52:59.000 It could be a Pokemon.
00:53:00.000 I want to talk to you about Pokemon.
00:53:02.000 I want to know what it is.
00:53:03.000 But it does.
00:53:04.000 It does make sense.
00:53:05.000 Well, who would do that?
00:53:06.000 People are crazy.
00:53:08.000 They're sucked into phones.
00:53:10.000 Phones draw you in.
00:53:12.000 Were they looking for sexual positions on these phones?
00:53:14.000 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:53:15.000 They're checking their text messages.
00:53:17.000 Bullshit.
00:53:17.000 Yes, guaranteed.
00:53:18.000 Some people just can't help it.
00:53:20.000 Oh, I got another message.
00:53:21.000 What's my message?
00:53:21.000 Oh, I got another message.
00:53:22.000 If you're having sex?
00:53:24.000 Yes, they were about to have sex.
00:53:26.000 Some things trump other things.
00:53:26.000 Some people are crazy.
00:53:29.000 There are people that are flat out, 100% attached to that phone.
00:53:33.000 This is step one, Eleanor.
00:53:35.000 This is step one.
00:53:36.000 I've been with addicts.
00:53:38.000 They didn't stop.
00:53:39.000 This is different.
00:53:40.000 This is different.
00:53:42.000 The phone thing is different.
00:53:44.000 Because if you wanted to say that phones are a drug, Okay, it's an addiction.
00:53:50.000 You'd have to sort out the consequences.
00:53:53.000 What are the consequences of this drug?
00:53:55.000 We don't know about that.
00:53:56.000 The consequences of coffee are pretty mundane.
00:53:58.000 It's no big deal.
00:53:59.000 You get fired up.
00:54:01.000 This might be the most addictive drug ever.
00:54:04.000 If it was a drug, if it wasn't an object, what drug do you walk down the street and you see everyone on?
00:54:12.000 Everyone.
00:54:12.000 Everyone holding their phone, looking at their phone.
00:54:14.000 No one looks up.
00:54:15.000 When you're looking down streets, you might see 40-50% of the people holding a phone.
00:54:22.000 I mean, that is, obviously it's a device, but let's just classify it as an obsession or as something that you're a fixation, perhaps.
00:54:33.000 Something that is just overwhelmingly influential in the fact that you pay so much attention to it in your life.
00:54:40.000 This is more of a lover than anyone you've ever known.
00:54:44.000 This fucking thing is with you while you shit.
00:54:47.000 It's with you all the time.
00:54:49.000 It's a companion.
00:54:50.000 But it doesn't trump sex.
00:54:52.000 I'm sorry.
00:54:53.000 You can't.
00:54:53.000 It depends on the girl.
00:54:55.000 Maybe.
00:54:56.000 I don't know what's going to happen.
00:54:58.000 I actually already feel it.
00:55:00.000 His legs are open and he's toward me right now.
00:55:04.000 I'm going to start looking at her butt.
00:55:04.000 You've probably been doing them for so long that you have pathways carved in your anatomy.
00:55:10.000 Yes, I'm terrified.
00:55:10.000 I'm feeling an imprint on my back.
00:55:13.000 The Pokemon game is taking it to the next level.
00:55:15.000 What the hell is it?
00:55:17.000 Explain what's going on.
00:55:17.000 The easiest way to say what Pokemon is, it takes Google Maps.
00:55:20.000 You have to sign into Google.
00:55:22.000 It takes Google Maps and all the information that's in Google Maps, and it makes it the level of a video game.
00:55:27.000 So instead of playing a level, you're playing your own street.
00:55:31.000 You're finding creatures in your house.
00:55:34.000 What?
00:55:35.000 What?
00:55:36.000 Yeah, so then there's places, like churches are called gyms.
00:55:39.000 That's where you go, and if you go to a church, you can train your fighter to be stronger and stuff like that.
00:55:45.000 So you're using real-world places and landmarks, and you're finding things at water fountains.
00:55:54.000 If you go to the water fountain, there's a bunch of coins there.
00:55:57.000 Whoa.
00:55:58.000 And what's crazy is if you're at the comedy store...
00:56:01.000 On Google Maps, you can upload your own photos.
00:56:04.000 I was at the Comedy Store on Google Maps.
00:56:07.000 So it pulls that information also.
00:56:09.000 So if you're playing the game, you'll be like, oh, there's an Andy Kaufman sign.
00:56:14.000 If we go to the Andy Kaufman sign, we can get some treasures.
00:56:17.000 And it shows you the Andy Kaufman sign in the video game.
00:56:20.000 But here's the crazy thing.
00:56:22.000 In two days, almost every single person has downloaded it and played it.
00:56:27.000 I have not.
00:56:28.000 And the crazy thing I was thinking of How awesome is it that it's connected to Google and we're sending...
00:56:34.000 Because it opens your camera at parts of the game when you're battling and it's scanning your room, your houses, and it's sending it to Google.
00:56:43.000 You're crazy.
00:56:43.000 So this is like the best way that Google is now getting a complete map of our house inside.
00:56:49.000 It's like...
00:56:50.000 It's scanning every street.
00:56:52.000 In like one year, Google is going to be able to see every single inch of every single place inside and outside because of this game.
00:57:01.000 How long has it been out?
00:57:02.000 Like three days, right?
00:57:03.000 Three days.
00:57:03.000 It's already on more phones on Android than Tinder, and it's about to pass up Twitter.
00:57:07.000 Yeah.
00:57:07.000 I really think we should bring typewriters back.
00:57:09.000 I'm sorry.
00:57:10.000 And no one's thinking about this, though.
00:57:12.000 We're just opening our camera and recording our rooms and sending it to Google.
00:57:17.000 Wait a minute.
00:57:18.000 I'm not.
00:57:18.000 Is this real?
00:57:19.000 Joe, you're not.
00:57:20.000 How are you?
00:57:20.000 I was just looking up.
00:57:22.000 I knew we were going to talk about it, so I pulled up some stuff already.
00:57:25.000 The interesting thing that's happening with it being on open GPS maps is those places, those locations, there's a guy's home that's been turned into one of these gyms, and he's mad that people are showing up outside of his place.
00:57:36.000 Oh!
00:57:37.000 It's because he bought an old church.
00:57:39.000 And so churches in the game automatically become gyms.
00:57:41.000 So people are hanging outside of his house now.
00:57:43.000 But also, interesting things like this has happened, where the Westboro Baptist Church has been overtaken by a gay-friendly Pokemon.
00:57:50.000 And so people are kind of, I don't know, necessarily trolling them and whatnot.
00:57:54.000 Now that I kind of like.
00:57:56.000 But then, by walking around and looking for things, a teenager found a dead body somewhere.
00:58:01.000 In just three days, they've already found it.
00:58:04.000 What?
00:58:05.000 A dead body found by a teenager hunting water Pokemon?
00:58:08.000 Yeah, she found it underneath a bridge.
00:58:09.000 Oh my god.
00:58:11.000 This last part, too.
00:58:12.000 I was trying to get a water Pokemon, Wiggins told CNN. Instead, she made an alarming discovery.
00:58:20.000 A dead body close to the Wyoming Highway 789 bridge.
00:58:24.000 I probably would have never went down there if it weren't for this game, she admitted.
00:58:28.000 But the scary incident isn't deterring her.
00:58:30.000 Wiggins says she will continue to play the game.
00:58:33.000 I saw somebody playing on the highway.
00:58:35.000 Everybody's playing the game.
00:58:36.000 On the way here, I saw somebody playing on the highway.
00:58:38.000 Oh my god, traffic's bad enough.
00:58:40.000 We don't need this.
00:58:41.000 Last night when I was waiting for my Uber at my house, just three minutes, I saw two different groups of kids, one on skateboards and one on bikes, just playing the game.
00:58:49.000 And what's scary is on that article, now armed robbers are robbing people at certain places in the game because they know the kids are going to be there with new phones, like iPhones and stuff.
00:58:59.000 So they're waiting at certain places, coming out, stealing their phones.
00:59:03.000 Whoa.
00:59:05.000 The game allows players to drop a lure module in a real world location to attract high numbers of Pokemon for 30 minutes.
00:59:13.000 The lure modules have reportedly also been used by business owners to bring people to their stores.
00:59:19.000 What?
00:59:20.000 Yeah.
00:59:21.000 Oh, so this is the next level.
00:59:23.000 Yes.
00:59:24.000 This is what starts the next level.
00:59:26.000 This kind of thing.
00:59:27.000 The next level of...
00:59:29.000 What's that?
00:59:29.000 This is augmented reality that's going to take over.
00:59:32.000 And it's also scanning, just like Snapchat scanned all our faces using all these filters now, and they have perfect, they could 3D model all our faces now because we've been scanning our faces.
00:59:43.000 Now, they're scanning the whole entire United States.
00:59:45.000 They're going to have maps of everything inside and outside in like less than a year.
00:59:50.000 Well, didn't we think, though, that eventually that that was going to be inevitable and that was going to be unavoidable?
00:59:55.000 The technology is going to dissolve all the windows.
00:59:59.000 Well, this is the next dissolving of the windows.
01:00:01.000 There's no more curtains down the window.
01:00:03.000 But it's also fascinating that it's an augmented reality.
01:00:06.000 Like, that's what got everybody in.
01:00:08.000 Like, that the augmented reality is what snuck everybody in.
01:00:11.000 And everybody's like, I'm in!
01:00:13.000 Let's play a game!
01:00:14.000 Yay!
01:00:14.000 I'm part of the game!
01:00:15.000 And you're like, what is happening?
01:00:16.000 You're completely sucked into this very bizarre new world where you're playing a game wrapped around your own actual environment.
01:00:25.000 What are you showing me?
01:00:26.000 This guy owns the gem of that guy's house.
01:00:29.000 So he's a virtual owner of his property, technically.
01:00:34.000 And it can be won or stolen or taken.
01:00:37.000 I don't know how it works.
01:00:38.000 Woohoo, I met the owner of my gym.
01:00:41.000 Nice guy.
01:00:42.000 Oh my god.
01:00:44.000 He's like, yeah, please don't tell anybody where I live, dude.
01:00:47.000 Please get away from my house right now.
01:00:49.000 I mean, they're going to get sued.
01:00:50.000 Those Pokemon people are going to get sued, for sure.
01:00:53.000 There's going to be a lot of lawsuits about this game.
01:00:56.000 There's going to be a lot of people dying.
01:00:57.000 Like I said, on the way here, I saw somebody using it while driving.
01:01:01.000 No, what are you doing?
01:01:02.000 Do you think that dead body was somebody trying to get a water Pokemon that just missed?
01:01:07.000 No, that dead body was probably somebody murdered or a homeless person, yeah.
01:01:11.000 I mean, it doesn't have to be...
01:01:13.000 I'm just saying.
01:01:13.000 He could have been under there.
01:01:14.000 Where's the water?
01:01:16.000 Well, there's so many...
01:01:17.000 Okay, when you find something, find like a water lure, is that what it was?
01:01:22.000 No, it's a lure.
01:01:24.000 It's this thing that you can drop on the ground.
01:01:26.000 So did someone drop it where the dead person was?
01:01:29.000 No, she was just searching for Pokemon.
01:01:32.000 It reminds me of when you're a kid and you're on your bicycle.
01:01:35.000 Scavenger hunt?
01:01:36.000 Bicycle and you're going around your neighborhood, like playing adventure, like looking at things and finding things.
01:01:40.000 It's kind of like that.
01:01:41.000 It makes you kind of go out in your neighborhood and look at stuff.
01:01:44.000 Like I didn't know that there was like a Buddha across the street in like this forest by my house.
01:01:48.000 And I found out by this game because I was like, go here, you know, there's some stuff here.
01:01:52.000 Whoa.
01:01:53.000 So it's kind of cool because it shows you around your neighborhood and stuff like that that you might have not known.
01:01:58.000 It's kind of like that old game, that geo-tagging game that people used to play where it's like, go to these coordinates and you'll find like a present and, you know.
01:02:05.000 Dude, if you got really cynical, you'd be like, it's like some sort of an alien talking to you going, Move around your coordinates and take photographs of everything so I can recreate it perfectly.
01:02:16.000 It's really interesting to see what businesses are doing.
01:02:19.000 Like Dairy Queen, like I said, dropped something on the ground and it's like paying customers only can come here and get Pokemon.
01:02:26.000 That's hilarious.
01:02:28.000 That's probably smart.
01:02:29.000 That's smart for them.
01:02:31.000 Can you imagine?
01:02:32.000 I grew up in South Philly.
01:02:33.000 We didn't look at anything and if we saw something we just kept walking.
01:02:37.000 That's just how it goes.
01:02:37.000 Well, we don't have to do that anymore, Eleanor.
01:02:39.000 Yes, you do.
01:02:40.000 There's no more slaves, and you don't have to ride a horse around.
01:02:42.000 Oh, yeah.
01:02:42.000 I'm going to go taking pictures around my mom's neighborhood.
01:02:45.000 Yeah, all right.
01:02:45.000 So let me explain to me, because let me understand how this works.
01:02:49.000 You're playing it.
01:02:50.000 So if you're playing it, what are you seeing?
01:02:52.000 What are you seeing on the ground?
01:02:53.000 Right now, I see nothing.
01:02:54.000 I'm looking around.
01:02:55.000 I can see down the street, there's some cool places to get more coins.
01:03:00.000 It's called Pokeballs, which you use to capture animals.
01:03:03.000 So these places exist...
01:03:04.000 How?
01:03:05.000 They just decide that the things are there?
01:03:08.000 It's random, but what they usually do is they take certain things in Google Maps.
01:03:12.000 All the churches are gyms where you go to work out and stuff like that, your Pokemons.
01:03:17.000 Then they take things like the comedy store and they know it's a landmark.
01:03:23.000 So there's a lot going on there.
01:03:25.000 Like last night, if you go to the comedy store now, you haven't been there in a couple of days, every single person's playing.
01:03:30.000 Every single person working there is playing.
01:03:32.000 Everyone's just out there on their phones.
01:03:34.000 How did this happen so quick?
01:03:37.000 It's huge, man.
01:03:38.000 Dude, I just heard about this like maybe two days ago.
01:03:41.000 Yeah, me too.
01:03:41.000 Two days ago I saw a couple pictures and I was like, what's happening?
01:03:42.000 It started as an April Fool's joke on YouTube, this video of someone made a fake application that looked like this and it turned out to be a really good idea that someone...
01:03:54.000 It's now out.
01:03:55.000 Yeah, overnight it's doing because it really hits this nerve in your head of collecting things.
01:04:00.000 And when you're going like, look what I've collected.
01:04:03.000 And it's the perfect thing to do when you're bored.
01:04:06.000 I was in the Uber.
01:04:07.000 I'm just sitting there while we're driving by the Hollywood Bowl.
01:04:09.000 I'm like, oh, there's some cool stuff here.
01:04:10.000 I'm going to get here.
01:04:11.000 So it's a good thing to do when you have nothing else to do.
01:04:14.000 What do you mean get?
01:04:15.000 It's like you're collecting virtual items.
01:04:19.000 It's like you're collecting virtual items.
01:04:20.000 Oh, okay.
01:04:21.000 Whoa.
01:04:22.000 Pokemon chasing investors led...
01:04:25.000 Send Nintendos...
01:04:27.000 Oh, my God.
01:04:27.000 Go out there.
01:04:28.000 Just make it smaller.
01:04:30.000 Send Nintendo shares soaring.
01:04:31.000 Craze added $9 billion in market value to gaming company.
01:04:35.000 What?
01:04:36.000 Nintendo was hurting.
01:04:37.000 What?
01:04:38.000 Nintendo was hurting before this.
01:04:39.000 Come on.
01:04:40.000 This is incredible.
01:04:41.000 That's right.
01:04:41.000 Nintendo.
01:04:42.000 Yeah, that's old school.
01:04:43.000 Okay, so you're walking around.
01:04:44.000 Explain this to me.
01:04:45.000 I'm looking at this person holding their hand up.
01:04:46.000 They're walking around and they have a phone open where they see the image of what's in front of them, but Pokemon stuff is just sort of floating around.
01:04:56.000 Oh my god, this is crazy.
01:04:58.000 And then you can grow eggs, you can train your characters to be stronger, and then you can battle other characters at gyms.
01:05:06.000 Oh my god.
01:05:07.000 And this, by the way, is just the first version.
01:05:10.000 They're going to be adding so much to this.
01:05:12.000 And what's interesting to note, I heard a rumor, maybe, that the new Grand Theft Auto is going to be doing the same thing.
01:05:19.000 So you're going to be playing Grand Theft Auto using Google Maps.
01:05:22.000 So you're going to be at your house, and your house is going to be your house.
01:05:24.000 And so this is just the beginning of this whole idea of taking Google's information.
01:05:29.000 And it's getting people outside.
01:05:31.000 That's good.
01:05:32.000 One of the things is that they're already saying that kids are complaining about sore legs.
01:05:40.000 Get them out there.
01:05:42.000 Maybe this would be the video game that fixes people who are addicted to video games.
01:05:48.000 I mean, that's the only positive thing I see.
01:05:51.000 I mean, it just makes me nervous.
01:05:52.000 Oh my god, they're all just hanging around playing with each other.
01:05:54.000 Oh my god, this is insane.
01:05:56.000 This is like the comedy show last night.
01:05:57.000 Comic Con in San Diego is going to be a zoo with this problem.
01:06:00.000 Oh yeah, I forgot about stuff like that.
01:06:02.000 This is fucking insane.
01:06:04.000 I can't believe I'm just...
01:06:05.000 Oh, look at her legs.
01:06:05.000 Look at her sore legs.
01:06:06.000 Is that from being sore?
01:06:08.000 That's not sore.
01:06:08.000 That's like...
01:06:09.000 Come on, they're fighting each other.
01:06:10.000 They're fighting animals.
01:06:11.000 I also heard that they banned it in San Francisco, but I haven't looked to see if that's true or not.
01:06:16.000 Like some cities are actually banning it.
01:06:18.000 Because people are not paying attention, just going into traffic.
01:06:21.000 There was probably a lot of them on the 405 today.
01:06:25.000 Oh, I saw somebody.
01:06:27.000 If you think about it, this is probably just the next step in what we're eventually going to get, which is some sort of a reality that we can manipulate all the time.
01:06:36.000 This is one part of it.
01:06:38.000 We're going to have little games in the regular reality, but you're going to have to look through your phone to see it.
01:06:42.000 But how long before that's glasses that you're wearing, like that Microsoft shit?
01:06:45.000 Weren't they already coming up What is it called again?
01:06:48.000 Magic Leap?
01:06:49.000 That's one.
01:06:50.000 I think that's the Google one.
01:06:52.000 Microsoft is the HoloLens.
01:06:55.000 Are they both with goggles?
01:06:57.000 They're both augmented reality.
01:06:58.000 They're both developed around augmented reality.
01:07:00.000 Supposedly Magic Leap is supposed to be awesome.
01:07:02.000 I don't want to say it's better.
01:07:03.000 So no one likes regular reality anymore?
01:07:05.000 Come on.
01:07:06.000 If you have a pair of glasses, just put on a pair of glasses.
01:07:08.000 What's that?
01:07:09.000 You put on a pair, like, They Live style.
01:07:11.000 I mean, Jesus Christ, They Live is gonna be real.
01:07:14.000 You put on a pair of glasses.
01:07:15.000 And then you see...
01:07:17.000 And you see all kinds of crazy shit.
01:07:19.000 Well, you could just go on.
01:07:20.000 All right.
01:07:21.000 But imagine.
01:07:22.000 Walk on Hollywood Boulevard.
01:07:23.000 That's crazy shit.
01:07:24.000 That's boring.
01:07:25.000 I want to see dragons.
01:07:26.000 You know?
01:07:27.000 If you want to, like, constantly involve.
01:07:29.000 Yeah, that was me with the Google Glass on.
01:07:31.000 You have a pair?
01:07:32.000 No, no, no.
01:07:33.000 No, that was...
01:07:34.000 They just let you...
01:07:34.000 Yeah, that's the one I saw.
01:07:36.000 That's what I was thinking of.
01:07:37.000 They were doing something with the UFC back then.
01:07:39.000 Shogun and Sonnen.
01:07:41.000 They were doing something with the UFC and they wanted to get footage...
01:07:44.000 I noticed some 360 rigs going around this weekend.
01:07:47.000 I wonder what they're going to do with it.
01:07:48.000 I just noticed that there were people walking out with the fighters and then I noticed during the fights it was kind of like planted somewhere near the ring.
01:07:55.000 If you ever want to talk to the guys about it, I'd be happy to introduce you to them.
01:08:01.000 They're the best.
01:08:02.000 They know what the fuck to do.
01:08:03.000 There's all sorts of crazy stuff they've tried before that they don't do anymore.
01:08:06.000 But I think they're doing 4K now, too.
01:08:09.000 That's another new thing.
01:08:10.000 That's important nowadays.
01:08:12.000 It's so pretty.
01:08:13.000 It's really cool what it's done.
01:08:14.000 Have you done the porn yet on the glasses?
01:08:17.000 I'm sorry, what was that?
01:08:17.000 On the VR? No.
01:08:19.000 We went from Pokemon to porn.
01:08:21.000 Same thing.
01:08:21.000 You could do virtual reality porn?
01:08:23.000 Yeah.
01:08:24.000 Apparently, yeah.
01:08:24.000 So there's...
01:08:25.000 I forget which website.
01:08:27.000 One of the main websites has...
01:08:28.000 Can you see somebody like that?
01:08:29.000 Maybe that's what those people were doing with their phones during Jay and Ari's thing.
01:08:34.000 One of the main websites, porn websites, Pornhub I think has virtual porn now for free.
01:08:39.000 So you could buy this thing on Amazon, put your Samsung Note 5 in there, and it's like a really cheap version of You know, you could do, kind of like Google Cardboard.
01:08:50.000 But I tried it out the other day, immediately I was like, oh, no, this is the one thing that's going to save porn.
01:08:55.000 Because after watching it, I felt way more connected to the girl and the sex.
01:09:00.000 It was way better, like a masturbation environment.
01:09:04.000 And that and music videos.
01:09:06.000 I don't know if you've seen Jamie's friend Cameron Gray.
01:09:09.000 So when you're saying way more connected, so you felt it wasn't like you were just watching porn.
01:09:14.000 Right.
01:09:14.000 It was like, oh my gosh, I'm more closer to this girl now.
01:09:17.000 Because now, I could look at the girl's feet if I wanted to.
01:09:20.000 Or I could look at the...
01:09:22.000 You know...
01:09:27.000 After I was done, I was like, holy cow, I felt way closer to it.
01:09:32.000 This is a way better step up in porn.
01:09:36.000 Music videos, too.
01:09:37.000 His buddy Cameron Gray has a free app that you can download.
01:09:41.000 It's like you're watching this music video, but then you can look in the backseat and see what's going on in the backseat.
01:09:46.000 There's all these different storylines going on all around.
01:09:50.000 It's so cool.
01:09:51.000 If you haven't seen his friend, his friend has an amazing music video.
01:09:54.000 It's on the App Store, Cameron Gray.
01:09:56.000 Wow.
01:09:57.000 That makes sense, man.
01:09:58.000 I think they're probably going to do that with comedy shows, too, right?
01:10:00.000 Yeah.
01:10:01.000 Absolutely.
01:10:02.000 Oh, wow.
01:10:03.000 When you've seen that stuff at the UFC, they probably will have it where you can just sit there and watch certain fights.
01:10:09.000 You can look around.
01:10:10.000 You can see Dana sitting there.
01:10:11.000 You can see you yelling, you know...
01:10:13.000 Well, you know what it might be, too?
01:10:15.000 I mean, I don't know.
01:10:16.000 This is just total speculation.
01:10:17.000 But it might be that...
01:10:18.000 Is this the video?
01:10:19.000 Switch to the halfway...
01:10:21.000 Can you move it to the halfway point?
01:10:22.000 This part right here...
01:10:24.000 He's in the back seat of a car...
01:10:25.000 Or you're in the front seat of a car...
01:10:27.000 And there's somebody, like, catching...
01:10:29.000 That's right here.
01:10:30.000 So you can look around, and you can see him get out of the car, and you're like, wait, where'd he go?
01:10:35.000 Is that like broken glass?
01:10:36.000 Yeah.
01:10:37.000 He's getting something out of the trunk.
01:10:38.000 You're like, what's he getting out of the trunk?
01:10:40.000 You can just look around, and then it's so cool.
01:10:44.000 Or you can look forward if you choose to.
01:10:46.000 Wow, so weird.
01:10:47.000 I think that's just gritty ground, Joe.
01:10:48.000 I don't think that's glass.
01:10:49.000 That is so weird.
01:10:50.000 And there's a camera, and he's lighting something on fire.
01:10:54.000 This, as a good example, this is the first I've seen a music video do it.
01:10:59.000 This is a good example.
01:11:00.000 It takes you to a different level of a music video.
01:11:03.000 You're not watching a music video.
01:11:05.000 You get to look at whatever you want in this music video.
01:11:08.000 Yeah, it's the next level of immersion.
01:11:11.000 Yeah.
01:11:11.000 But I don't believe that it's going to take off until they figure out how to make the goggles smaller, you know, more easier.
01:11:19.000 Well, do you think—here's the question.
01:11:20.000 What is a movie going to be like if this becomes the new thing?
01:11:24.000 Because, like, we're used to seeing, like, if you want to see a great movie, right?
01:11:28.000 You want to see Raging Bull, right?
01:11:30.000 Great movie.
01:11:31.000 You sit there and you watch this great movie.
01:11:32.000 It all plays out right in front of you.
01:11:34.000 When it doesn't, when it's all in your head, do you still want to be around other people that are experiencing it?
01:11:40.000 Like, then is everybody walking around?
01:11:43.000 Is everybody seeing something different?
01:11:44.000 Yeah.
01:11:45.000 I think it's going to be a while to ever get to movies, if ever, just because if you have the goggles on, after a certain amount of time, you have to take them off.
01:11:53.000 You're just done.
01:11:54.000 You know, your eyes, it's too much for your eyes.
01:11:57.000 Do you think that it's too much because it's just not good yet?
01:11:59.000 Do you think that's something they could work around?
01:12:01.000 A little bit of that and a little bit of...
01:12:04.000 I think it really fucks with your everything.
01:12:06.000 It has to.
01:12:07.000 It has to.
01:12:07.000 Well, they say if you look with shitty binoculars, it's bad for your eyes.
01:12:12.000 Like shitty glass.
01:12:13.000 Yeah.
01:12:14.000 And that kind of makes sense.
01:12:15.000 If you're looking through this lens at this image, it would have to be like...
01:12:20.000 Swarovski crystal or some crazy shit.
01:12:22.000 You know what I mean?
01:12:23.000 To be really clear for your eyes.
01:12:25.000 Does that make sense?
01:12:26.000 Do you look at binoculars a lot?
01:12:27.000 Because it's straining.
01:12:29.000 It also has to be like 90 frames per second or it has to be some kind of frames per second or it makes you sick.
01:12:36.000 There's a video game that's coming out soon for I think Xbox or PlayStation, I forget, that is a virtual reality game or one that you wear goggles but they don't have the frame speed up fast enough so people are just getting sick immediately.
01:12:48.000 What I'm just thinking is like really good goggles or really good binoculars.
01:12:52.000 They're real expensive, you know?
01:12:55.000 Oh, yeah.
01:12:55.000 You know like and like I think If you think about how much it costs just to buy a pair of binoculars, like a really high-end pair of binoculars, and think about how much more it would be for a computer attached to that thing, to have it look really clear.
01:13:13.000 What is the difference between a 4K? It's just the resolution difference between 4K? Yeah, it's pretty much like four HDTVs make one 4K screen.
01:13:23.000 But I've heard that, is it OLED, that that's the best, like, visual?
01:13:29.000 That's like saying nowadays, like, plasma, LCD, you know, like, that's a kind of TV or kind of a display.
01:13:36.000 So, yeah.
01:13:37.000 So, OLED is not anything special?
01:13:39.000 No, that's just, like, one of the better...
01:13:41.000 I think it's an organic LED, organic light.
01:13:44.000 Yeah.
01:13:45.000 That's what I've been told looks the best.
01:13:48.000 I think so, from what I've seen.
01:13:49.000 And do they make that in 4K, too?
01:13:51.000 Yeah, 100%.
01:13:51.000 We're in a weird world, aren't we, folks?
01:13:54.000 You think?
01:13:55.000 I'm waiting for my TV to die so bad.
01:13:57.000 I'm dizzy listening to the conversation.
01:13:58.000 Things are so strange.
01:13:59.000 Why don't you give your TV to, like, Josh?
01:14:01.000 No, it's a nice TV. I just, you know, I want it to die so I have a reason to get a new TV. Oh, oh.
01:14:08.000 I know, I hear you.
01:14:08.000 But it's, like, still a top-of-the-line TV. It doesn't have a back.
01:14:12.000 Well, they were awesome 10 years ago.
01:14:15.000 Yeah.
01:14:16.000 I have an old ass TV in my gym.
01:14:18.000 My TV in my gym I got in 2003. It's the same TV. Oh yeah.
01:14:24.000 It's interesting.
01:14:25.000 But still, they're good.
01:14:25.000 Yeah, it's pretty good.
01:14:27.000 I think mine's that old.
01:14:29.000 But it would be cheap as fuck today.
01:14:30.000 Yeah.
01:14:31.000 Like if I bought it today, it would be like nothing.
01:14:32.000 Oh, that's garbage.
01:14:33.000 You're like, why have I spent a fortune on this?
01:14:35.000 Yeah.
01:14:36.000 I've got something beautiful.
01:14:38.000 Yeah.
01:14:39.000 Look at this.
01:14:40.000 It goes on the wall.
01:14:41.000 You ever find an old laptop you got laying around?
01:14:43.000 Mm-hmm.
01:14:43.000 You're like, oh my God, look at this piece of shit.
01:14:46.000 Yeah.
01:14:46.000 Just two years ago, I got rid of the desktop computer with the big, what's that called?
01:14:52.000 Tower.
01:14:52.000 Yeah, the tower.
01:14:53.000 Yeah.
01:14:54.000 Oh, my God.
01:14:55.000 Even my boyfriend, who doesn't get into this at all, he was like, what?
01:14:58.000 Your shit's old.
01:14:59.000 I was like, oh.
01:15:00.000 They still use it for like graphic design and stuff, right?
01:15:04.000 Do they?
01:15:05.000 They still have great towers.
01:15:07.000 Well, they have towers, but mine was like a PC. It was old, ugly.
01:15:11.000 It had a back at the top.
01:15:12.000 Have you seen that one that Apple makes?
01:15:14.000 It looks like some sort of like an alien hive.
01:15:16.000 I love it.
01:15:17.000 What is that thing called?
01:15:19.000 Power?
01:15:20.000 That's just their computer.
01:15:21.000 All they are is things that put my daddy out of business.
01:15:23.000 What is it called?
01:15:24.000 The Mac Pro.
01:15:25.000 Oh, Mac Pro.
01:15:26.000 Yeah, but it's a piece of sculpture.
01:15:29.000 Like, you look at it, you're like, oh great, were you getting paid by Apple, bro?
01:15:32.000 Getting bought out by Apple, bro?
01:15:34.000 You know what's weird is they sell that, but now they don't sell the display anymore.
01:15:38.000 So they sell that, but they don't sell a display for it anymore.
01:15:42.000 Okay, how does that work?
01:15:43.000 You're supposed to use the old display that you had?
01:15:46.000 They only want repeat customers.
01:15:48.000 Jamie, price it out to the best specs.
01:15:50.000 It's amazing how expensive this thing is.
01:15:52.000 $1,674.
01:15:53.000 Oh, that's why I've never heard of it.
01:15:54.000 I'll go on their website real quick.
01:15:56.000 Hold on.
01:15:56.000 Yeah, I think the last time I did it, I think it was like $10,000 or even more than that for the top of the line.
01:16:03.000 Now, what would someone use something like that for?
01:16:05.000 Like Photoshop or videos?
01:16:08.000 No, editing 4K video.
01:16:11.000 Movies or video?
01:16:12.000 Like literally?
01:16:13.000 Look at that beautiful thing.
01:16:15.000 Yeah, it's so beautiful.
01:16:16.000 Built for creativity on an epic scale.
01:16:19.000 Is that what it said?
01:16:20.000 Uh-huh.
01:16:21.000 Oh, wow, look at that.
01:16:22.000 New power structure.
01:16:23.000 Whoa, come on, man.
01:16:24.000 You open the top of that thing, tell me it doesn't look like something aliens made.
01:16:27.000 Yeah.
01:16:28.000 It is.
01:16:28.000 If we found this on another planet, we'd be like, holy shit, we found the motherland.
01:16:33.000 Yeah.
01:16:34.000 This is where all life was created.
01:16:35.000 Yeah, people would hover around it, worship it.
01:16:38.000 I mean, seriously, folks, we are in a fucking science fiction movie.
01:16:43.000 We really are.
01:16:44.000 It's just creeping up on us so slowly.
01:16:48.000 What was it that it just showed?
01:16:50.000 Acoustic level.
01:16:51.000 Acoustic level, meaning it was so quiet.
01:16:53.000 Yeah, and...
01:16:54.000 Clear.
01:16:55.000 But that was that animation.
01:16:56.000 Look, he's pricing it out now.
01:16:58.000 Like, graphics, you can get six gigabytes, dual AMD. Oh, sexy as fuck.
01:17:04.000 Look at this red band!
01:17:05.000 You're so weird!
01:17:06.000 I'm looking at it like I'm having heart palpitations looking at it.
01:17:09.000 No keyboard or monitor.
01:17:11.000 It's actually a lot cheaper than...
01:17:12.000 No keyboard or monitor with that.
01:17:13.000 Shit.
01:17:16.000 It's gotten cheaper.
01:17:17.000 The difference between what that can do and what a regular iMac can do is just time?
01:17:24.000 Or is there anything that that can do that an iMac just would not be able to do?
01:17:28.000 It's mostly speed.
01:17:30.000 Because of the video card it has in it too.
01:17:32.000 The best iMac now...
01:17:35.000 I'm pretty sure it really is just the best, like, mobile card you could have because it would fit inside a laptop.
01:17:41.000 Right.
01:17:41.000 Like, this is way beyond that.
01:17:43.000 So, like, I don't think you could do...
01:17:45.000 You can get 4K display because it's a 4K display on the iMac, but it's still, like, it's the very bottom of it where this one you can do multiple monitors.
01:17:56.000 There's some interesting benchmarks that I've read recently that actually show the iMac is faster than that at video editing and stuff like that because those processors aren't as fast as the processor that's in the iMac for some reason.
01:18:13.000 The iMac has speed boost technology where the ones in there doesn't.
01:18:18.000 There was a weird thing I just read recently about how...
01:18:21.000 This is making me dizzy, this whole conversation.
01:18:26.000 Whatever they did here, it was twice as fast.
01:18:28.000 27-inch iMac with Retina 5K display.
01:18:32.000 Yes.
01:18:32.000 Yeah.
01:18:33.000 See?
01:18:33.000 It's much faster.
01:18:34.000 That's crazy.
01:18:35.000 Yeah.
01:18:36.000 Isn't that weird?
01:18:36.000 I just read about this.
01:18:37.000 So what's the point in that thing?
01:18:38.000 Just to look good?
01:18:39.000 I like to look like I know what I'm doing.
01:18:41.000 I want to have one of the Mac Pros.
01:18:42.000 Yeah, you gotta have this.
01:18:43.000 You gotta have that.
01:18:43.000 No, it looks sexy, Jamie.
01:18:44.000 Not space.
01:18:46.000 Sexy.
01:18:46.000 The iMac gives you more space, doesn't it?
01:18:49.000 I mean like space saving.
01:18:50.000 I didn't mean like digital space.
01:18:52.000 I meant like for your office space.
01:18:54.000 But the iMac would give you more space because it's all in one piece.
01:18:58.000 Honestly, I don't know what the reason is for buying it anymore is.
01:19:02.000 Yeah, because the other thing you would have to get a monitor for...
01:19:04.000 I have the 27-inch iMac 4K retina, not the 5K, and it's fast as fuck.
01:19:10.000 I have the SSD on there and stuff like that.
01:19:12.000 It renders so fast.
01:19:13.000 I can't even imagine it being faster.
01:19:15.000 I'm pretty sure there's limitations on the processors that the iMac can handle that this can handle faster processing.
01:19:20.000 It would be specific to what you're actually doing.
01:19:23.000 If we needed one, we would have to get it built specifically to some use we would have to find for it.
01:19:28.000 Not everyone really needs these.
01:19:29.000 Well, let me ask you this.
01:19:31.000 Does Apple sell a monitor anymore?
01:19:33.000 No, they just got rid of it.
01:19:34.000 What?
01:19:35.000 That's so ridiculous!
01:19:37.000 The iMac was the same price as the monitor.
01:19:39.000 That's like Toyota saying, no steering wheel, bitch.
01:19:41.000 Yeah, figure it out.
01:19:43.000 We don't like windshields.
01:19:44.000 This is like watching a Spanish channel.
01:19:49.000 I have no idea what you guys are talking about.
01:19:51.000 We're talking about computer stuff, manly things.
01:19:54.000 My dad told me that computers were only a phase.
01:19:56.000 I don't know what you guys are talking about.
01:19:58.000 What was your dad like when he had to close the typewriter store and give up on a dream?
01:20:02.000 Very, very upset.
01:20:03.000 That had to be such a bummer.
01:20:04.000 Very upset.
01:20:05.000 Because people who love mechanical things, like typewriters like that, when something comes along and just takes that away...
01:20:11.000 Yeah.
01:20:12.000 And my grandpa, he built tools specifically for typewriters that can only fix typewriters, but he never marketed them.
01:20:19.000 He thought he cornered like everybody would come to him.
01:20:22.000 Right.
01:20:24.000 Different Irish mentality.
01:20:25.000 Because of like hipsters and stuff, aren't typewriters in an upswing?
01:20:28.000 No, it's still not bringing it high enough.
01:20:30.000 A little.
01:20:31.000 It's got a tiny little heartbeat, but not like...
01:20:34.000 Because they buy them, and then they just put them there for decorative features.
01:20:39.000 It's not like, oh, I have to get all these letters out today, or whatever it is.
01:20:44.000 I was actually going to do that very thing until you just brought it up and humiliated my idea, so...
01:20:49.000 I don't know.
01:20:49.000 It's what people do.
01:20:50.000 I mean, I have it too.
01:20:52.000 My sister Karen has her...
01:20:53.000 They do look badass, but I wouldn't, unless it was someone's cool.
01:20:56.000 My dad has ancient ones, like right in the beginning, typewriters.
01:21:00.000 Oh, so you can convert it into an iMac?
01:21:03.000 Oh my god, it's hilarious.
01:21:05.000 Keyboard, basically.
01:21:05.000 If I could get that from my dad, he would play with it.
01:21:08.000 Oh my god, this is hilarious.
01:21:08.000 He would play with that.
01:21:09.000 Look at that, that looks like an underwood right there.
01:21:11.000 Look, it attaches to a fucking screen, an oldie-school typewriter.
01:21:15.000 Convert your favorite typewriter.
01:21:17.000 So they can take yours and they can convert it to that.
01:21:20.000 Oh my god, I have to send this to my dad's wife because she will do that for him.
01:21:24.000 That is fucking brilliant.
01:21:26.000 And it still has the arms.
01:21:27.000 And we bought him an iPad for Christmas, so he knows how to...
01:21:30.000 But look at that.
01:21:30.000 Look how it's typing.
01:21:31.000 It's typing on that flat thing.
01:21:32.000 And it still has the ribbon in there.
01:21:34.000 What the hell does it need the ribbon for?
01:21:35.000 I think that's how it's reading the type strokes.
01:21:38.000 Oh yeah, okay.
01:21:40.000 Oh my god, I love this.
01:21:43.000 Look what's happening!
01:21:44.000 We're making a comeback.
01:21:46.000 Maybe that'd be fun to type, you know, or write on, you know?
01:21:49.000 It still types on paper, too.
01:21:51.000 Oh, wow.
01:21:51.000 Oh my god, this is awesome!
01:21:55.000 Turn off your monitor for an authentic experience.
01:21:57.000 What in the fuck are you saying?
01:21:59.000 I love this.
01:22:00.000 This is amazing, and I'm sending this to my dad immediately.
01:22:04.000 Well, I have to send it to his girlfriend, then she has to explain how to turn it on and listen.
01:22:09.000 Yeah, look at that guy's email.
01:22:11.000 Bad move.
01:22:12.000 Oh, shit, huh?
01:22:13.000 Here come the dick pics, son.
01:22:16.000 Here comes the thunder.
01:22:18.000 This is so strange.
01:22:19.000 Yeah, that's cool.
01:22:20.000 Oh, I see.
01:22:21.000 So there's different ones.
01:22:23.000 One of them works.
01:22:23.000 It just goes side to side with an iPad.
01:22:26.000 So the iPad actually moves.
01:22:27.000 The iPad is what we got him for Christmas.
01:22:29.000 So that would be a cool thing to teach him, you know, to put it on there.
01:22:33.000 Because he literally is saddened by the progress.
01:22:37.000 I mean, it was all he knew.
01:22:39.000 Do you know that Woody Allen still types on an old typewriter that he had like in the 70s?
01:22:43.000 Yes.
01:22:44.000 Have you ever seen that?
01:22:45.000 It's kind of interesting, man.
01:22:46.000 I have heard that.
01:22:48.000 A few people.
01:22:48.000 Tom Hanks, too.
01:22:49.000 Tom Hanks is big on...
01:22:50.000 I mean, I don't think he types scripts on it, but he's big on collecting them.
01:22:54.000 And some of his people were in my dad's typewriter store like 20 years ago.
01:22:58.000 And they were like, hey, we want this because my dad has this old one that's...
01:23:03.000 Probably worth a lot of money, but my dad just keeps it.
01:23:06.000 It's not smart.
01:23:07.000 And so they were like, yeah, we'll buy that from you for a lot of money.
01:23:11.000 And my dad wouldn't sell it.
01:23:13.000 Look, this is a pervert's cabin here.
01:23:16.000 That's my dad's house.
01:23:18.000 How dare you?
01:23:19.000 In Rehoboth.
01:23:20.000 Woody Allen with his ancient keyboard.
01:23:22.000 It's really interesting, actually, because he goes over his whole process of how he writes.
01:23:28.000 I want to see what kind it is, is it?
01:23:30.000 Well, he uses just regular paper.
01:23:31.000 No, no, no.
01:23:32.000 The typewriter, is it an underwood or is it a royal?
01:23:36.000 He looks like he writes on yellow legal paper.
01:23:39.000 Is that what that is?
01:23:39.000 Is that what that looks like or is it just the lighting?
01:23:41.000 Yeah.
01:23:42.000 It looks like it's yellow.
01:23:43.000 Yeah, he's not big on lighting.
01:23:44.000 He likes everything yellow.
01:23:46.000 Oh!
01:23:47.000 Hi-oh!
01:23:48.000 Yep, yep, yep, yep.
01:23:49.000 The setup.
01:23:50.000 The setup.
01:23:53.000 The swing.
01:23:54.000 Oh, it's gone, ladies and gentlemen.
01:23:56.000 Out of the park.
01:23:57.000 Big coffee.
01:23:58.000 Hit it out.
01:24:02.000 Maybe we are making a comeback.
01:24:03.000 You ever see Hunter S. Thompson type?
01:24:06.000 Only, yeah.
01:24:07.000 He never learned how to type.
01:24:08.000 Yeah.
01:24:09.000 How about that?
01:24:09.000 That guy wrote so many books and he would type like this.
01:24:12.000 With one finger.
01:24:13.000 Click, click, click, click, click, click.
01:24:18.000 You've never seen him?
01:24:19.000 Yeah.
01:24:20.000 Dude, you've got to watch.
01:24:20.000 Johnny Depp does an amazing impression of him in that movie.
01:24:25.000 Which one was it?
01:24:26.000 Fear and Loving.
01:24:27.000 Yeah, it was Fear and Loathing, but it was also...
01:24:29.000 Oh, that's what it was.
01:24:30.000 He was the narrator of...
01:24:32.000 They played it also in the Gonzo Life and Times of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson.
01:24:38.000 Now that's an IBM Selectric 3. That is how he would write, literally like that.
01:24:43.000 What is that?
01:24:43.000 What model?
01:24:44.000 IBM Selectric 3, it looks like.
01:24:46.000 That's the one that Hunter used, I guess.
01:24:47.000 It has the ball.
01:24:49.000 Oh, the ball.
01:24:49.000 That's right.
01:24:50.000 I remember the ball.
01:24:51.000 That was like the next step up, right?
01:24:54.000 Yeah, and then Smith Corona came out with kind of a word processor that my dad was selling, but that's the one he used to get mad at, because when you put labels through it, it would seep through, and the goo would come out, and it would make everything stick.
01:25:07.000 So it would screw up the...
01:25:09.000 That's why my dad said computers are only a phase, because you can't do the labels properly.
01:25:15.000 It's kind of crazy how quick it happened.
01:25:17.000 It really did.
01:25:17.000 If you look at the history of the typewriter.
01:25:19.000 How long has the typewriter been around?
01:25:21.000 How dare you not know?
01:25:22.000 You're right.
01:25:24.000 Okay, let's guess.
01:25:25.000 My dad was teaching us to play with grenades, not typewriters.
01:25:28.000 Just kidding.
01:25:29.000 If you had a guess.
01:25:30.000 1827. Well, that's a killer guess, but I would go lower.
01:25:35.000 What would you go, Elena?
01:25:36.000 17-something, no?
01:25:38.000 I think I'd probably go with you, because your dad owns a typewriter store, so I'm just going to copy off you.
01:25:43.000 What did you come up with?
01:25:45.000 You're right, it's probably earlier, but...
01:25:46.000 I mean, I don't know, man.
01:25:48.000 Just out of curiosity, I mean, I could see that one that my dad has that was one of the...
01:25:51.000 almost one of the first...
01:25:54.000 If I had a guess, I feel like you sound right.
01:25:57.000 When did we switch from the chisel?
01:25:58.000 I'm going to go with 1797. I'm going to ride the line.
01:26:01.000 First obtained patent in Britain for a machine that did something similar to a typewriter, 1714. Yeah, we need a typewriter.
01:26:09.000 And then 1802, one was developed.
01:26:13.000 1808, another one was developed.
01:26:16.000 But 1575, an Italian printmaker named Francesco Romposetto invented the scarita something, a machine that presses letters into paper.
01:26:26.000 So that's a typewriter, basically.
01:26:27.000 Interesting.
01:26:28.000 Yeah, that's basically a typewriter.
01:26:31.000 Well, they had a printing press.
01:26:32.000 I wouldn't know exactly when, yeah.
01:26:33.000 What was a printing press?
01:26:34.000 Like 1500s?
01:26:35.000 Oh, printing press.
01:26:36.000 Printing press.
01:26:36.000 Yeah, that's what he's saying, that on the paper.
01:26:39.000 Right.
01:26:39.000 But that is a printing press then, right?
01:26:41.000 That's the 1500 one?
01:26:42.000 This is a machine that impressed letters on paper, I guess.
01:26:45.000 What was the year of that?
01:26:47.000 1575. When was Martin Luther?
01:26:50.000 Because that was one of the things about Martin Luther's translation of the Bible, right?
01:26:54.000 Was that he was able to print it?
01:26:57.000 That sounds like a stamp, though, what you're talking about.
01:26:59.000 This is just like a stamp, not a typewriter.
01:27:02.000 Well, it's not like going to Kinko's.
01:27:05.000 No, I mean this patent that Jamie's talking about.
01:27:08.000 Yeah, he's saying it's just like putting imprint on a paper.
01:27:11.000 So it's not like a...
01:27:12.000 A press.
01:27:13.000 Right.
01:27:13.000 That's why I was thinking what you're saying.
01:27:15.000 A printing press.
01:27:16.000 God, it's so hard to remember where.
01:27:21.000 Whoa.
01:27:22.000 Look at that fucking thing.
01:27:24.000 What does it say?
01:27:25.000 La scritture meccanica.
01:27:27.000 Can you go full screen on that?
01:27:28.000 See what that looks like?
01:27:29.000 See the one in the middle?
01:27:30.000 My dad has it.
01:27:32.000 How does that work?
01:27:34.000 Oh, that's weird.
01:27:35.000 So you would push down on those buttons on the top and it would write things down on the bottom?
01:27:39.000 Is that what would go on?
01:27:41.000 That crank is your shift.
01:27:43.000 Look how weird that is.
01:27:44.000 Yeah.
01:27:45.000 That crank is your shift, right?
01:27:46.000 So Eleanor, feed us through that or talk us through that.
01:27:49.000 Like this one?
01:27:50.000 It'd feed the paper into the bottom?
01:27:51.000 Mm-hmm.
01:27:52.000 I'm assuming.
01:27:53.000 And then that crank is your shift to get you across.
01:27:56.000 Yeah, the one on the upper piece.
01:27:59.000 But then what's that other little?
01:27:59.000 Yeah, what's the one on the bottom?
01:28:01.000 That's what came from the printing press, because that's how you would press your paper and ink down on each other.
01:28:05.000 Like, turn it down and let it lay it out, maybe?
01:28:08.000 Who taught you how to do that?
01:28:09.000 How weird are those buttons?
01:28:09.000 Who taught you how to do that?
01:28:10.000 This place in Columbus called Kosai, they have this street to yesteryear, and you can literally go and make wax candles and use a printing press.
01:28:17.000 Did you make butter?
01:28:19.000 I don't think they have butter there.
01:28:20.000 That's another part of Ohio.
01:28:22.000 Butter?
01:28:23.000 Are you into butter?
01:28:24.000 They don't make butter in Ohio?
01:28:25.000 They do.
01:28:25.000 There's another part of the thing where you can go learn that.
01:28:28.000 I wasn't at that place.
01:28:29.000 Old school-y stuff is cool, man.
01:28:31.000 I saw this old lady in Montana in this historic recreation of a house.
01:28:36.000 There's this Museum of Bozeman.
01:28:38.000 In the Museum of Bozeman, they have these people that are making wool yarn.
01:28:44.000 And so she's got wool out, and she's running it through the spindle.
01:28:47.000 And as she's running through the spindle, she's turning it into thread and attaching more wool to it.
01:28:52.000 She's explaining how the wool just clings to other wool, that it's got some sort of a tension thing or an attractant, like little barbs or something like that.
01:29:02.000 Something that sticks out, and you rub the wools together.
01:29:05.000 They kind of cling to each other.
01:29:06.000 And so she was doing this all by hand and foot.
01:29:10.000 Holy shit.
01:29:11.000 And doing it in real time.
01:29:13.000 She'd pull out these big tufts of this wool that just sheared from a lamb.
01:29:17.000 She'd take it and she just started attaching it.
01:29:20.000 And she's talking to us and pumping this pedal and making this wool.
01:29:23.000 It's pretty badass, man.
01:29:24.000 Yeah, I've done that before.
01:29:25.000 They do that a lot.
01:29:26.000 There's a lot of that shit in Ohio.
01:29:28.000 And they're also Williamsburg, West Virginia.
01:29:30.000 They have that whole town where they have real fights.
01:29:33.000 They have real blacksmiths.
01:29:35.000 They recreate everything.
01:29:37.000 Yeah, it's sweet.
01:29:37.000 It's awesome.
01:29:38.000 Yeah, people get weird with recreations, but that was pretty cool.
01:29:42.000 But it is part of the history, so you can't get mad.
01:29:45.000 I mean, it is what it is.
01:29:46.000 No, that's not weird.
01:29:46.000 The Civil War stuff's weird.
01:29:48.000 It is weird.
01:29:50.000 It is uncomfortable.
01:29:51.000 Not for all of us.
01:29:53.000 Some of us.
01:29:54.000 No, just saying.
01:29:54.000 But it is.
01:29:55.000 It is a weird thing, but it's part of the history, so don't you think?
01:29:58.000 With the history of people recreating war?
01:30:01.000 Like, we don't know what happened.
01:30:03.000 Well, I guess you're right.
01:30:03.000 Those people are like, look out!
01:30:04.000 We're coming over the top!
01:30:05.000 Bang, bang!
01:30:06.000 They're pretending they're at war, trying to fight to keep their slaves.
01:30:08.000 Hey, my dad has a...
01:30:09.000 They're getting shot at.
01:30:10.000 My dad shot me with a musket.
01:30:11.000 But what I'm saying is that, like, it's, I don't know, it's just, it's a strange thing to recreate that, but at least...
01:30:17.000 No, you're absolutely right, yeah.
01:30:18.000 Do you think they do that in Korea?
01:30:20.000 I don't know.
01:30:20.000 I've never been.
01:30:21.000 But at least this lady making this wool, when she's making this wool, now you know how they did it.
01:30:26.000 You could watch, oh, I'm watching her do it.
01:30:29.000 It's not a lost skill.
01:30:32.000 Otherwise, you and I, if you and I were like, how do they make wool yarn?
01:30:36.000 We'd be like, fuck, I don't know.
01:30:37.000 How the fuck do they do it?
01:30:39.000 They left us with a bunch of wool, and we're like, dude, we've got to make yarn.
01:30:42.000 Well, did they tell us how?
01:30:43.000 No, we have to figure it out.
01:30:44.000 Fuck.
01:30:44.000 I'm sure there's a YouTube video.
01:30:46.000 Yeah, but what if you can get online?
01:30:47.000 What if you're just sitting in a room, an empty room with a pile of wool?
01:30:50.000 What are you going to do?
01:30:51.000 Survive.
01:30:52.000 That's where you start.
01:30:53.000 You're not going to make clothes.
01:30:54.000 Are you okay?
01:30:54.000 No.
01:30:55.000 I'm just thinking about that.
01:30:57.000 Like, how would you?
01:30:58.000 What would you do?
01:30:59.000 Look at that.
01:30:59.000 Oh my god, there I am.
01:31:02.000 The old spinster.
01:31:05.000 They used to think those old women were cursing them.
01:31:08.000 That's where Sleeping Beauty came from.
01:31:12.000 She's so cute.
01:31:16.000 My mom and dad used to collect Singer sewing machines.
01:31:20.000 Remember the old iron ones and you have to Get new rubber stoppers because all the rubber's gotten bad.
01:31:28.000 But in Ohio, there's so many barns and they're about to tear down these barns and they have barn sales where you just go and you see anything you want in there.
01:31:36.000 My dad would go to them and just take all the Singer sewing machines because they always had sewing machines in them for that kind of reason, like shaving sheep and making stuff in there.
01:31:45.000 Wow, crazy.
01:31:46.000 I mean, I would be terrified to do that, but there are people that did it for years.
01:31:50.000 Yeah, they did it for a long fucking time.
01:31:52.000 That is a cool look.
01:31:53.000 My sister has one of those.
01:31:54.000 Come on, that is badass.
01:31:55.000 My dad has that almost exact one right there.
01:31:57.000 If you can make clothes, go back to that one please.
01:31:59.000 If you can make clothes with that one that you're pumping with your feet.
01:32:01.000 My grandma had one of those.
01:32:03.000 My sister Karen has a big one like that, I think.
01:32:06.000 Or maybe up there.
01:32:08.000 My grandma had a bunch of cool old stuff like that.
01:32:11.000 Yeah.
01:32:11.000 I used to love just walking my foot on my ass.
01:32:13.000 Did she make clothes, your grandma?
01:32:15.000 Did she do that?
01:32:16.000 I don't really remember her making any clothes.
01:32:18.000 I don't remember.
01:32:19.000 I mean, maybe she did.
01:32:20.000 She probably did.
01:32:20.000 I just don't remember.
01:32:22.000 I remember she was ill like the last years of her life, so I mostly remember that, unfortunately, because it was all during the formative years.
01:32:29.000 Yeah, right.
01:32:29.000 But that thing, go back to that, Jamie.
01:32:31.000 Look how beautiful that thing is.
01:32:33.000 The craftsmanship and the design.
01:32:36.000 And if you look at the gold that's in the sewing machine thing itself, it's so pretty.
01:32:42.000 It is really cool.
01:32:43.000 My sister designs costumes for her daughter as a dancer.
01:32:47.000 And she would do a recital every year.
01:32:50.000 And Karen also, my older sister, would go and while the shows were happening, she would stitch stuff up as well.
01:32:57.000 And a couple years ago, she had two straight pins.
01:33:10.000 She swallowed a pin.
01:33:14.000 She's got a pin in her lung, my crazy sister.
01:33:16.000 So what are they going to do?
01:33:17.000 There's nothing you can do.
01:33:19.000 What?
01:33:19.000 Yeah.
01:33:20.000 My mother's like, is that thing rusting in your...
01:33:22.000 Oh my God.
01:33:23.000 So does her body have to absorb it?
01:33:25.000 Yeah.
01:33:25.000 Is her body going to absorb it?
01:33:27.000 Is it stainless steel?
01:33:28.000 I guess.
01:33:28.000 That could take a long fucking time.
01:33:29.000 What is she going to do?
01:33:30.000 It's in her lung.
01:33:31.000 They saw it.
01:33:32.000 Cut her open like a fish and get it out of there.
01:33:34.000 Yeah.
01:33:34.000 Cut me.
01:33:35.000 Crazy.
01:33:35.000 Cut me, Mickey.
01:33:36.000 It's been a while.
01:33:37.000 Maybe it's more than two years, but she'd kill me if I'm saying the wrong ones.
01:33:41.000 But I remember she had blood work done or something done and they were like, hey, do you have some metal, something, whatever?
01:33:50.000 What about when she goes to the airport?
01:33:51.000 She was like, well, this is what happened.
01:33:53.000 Oh my God, that's so crazy.
01:33:55.000 That's terrifying.
01:33:56.000 Yeah, I don't think she's had any problem at the airport yet.
01:33:58.000 But it could have got stuck on the way down.
01:33:59.000 Easy.
01:34:00.000 And then she would have been fucked.
01:34:01.000 But it's definitely in her lung.
01:34:02.000 Oh my God, that's so crazy.
01:34:05.000 That's crazy talk.
01:34:06.000 Oh my God.
01:34:07.000 My crazy sister.
01:34:08.000 But that's Karen.
01:34:09.000 She's always doing like five billion things at once.
01:34:13.000 Of course she did that.
01:34:14.000 Of course that happened to her.
01:34:15.000 Oh my God.
01:34:16.000 How bizarre.
01:34:17.000 But her costumes look great.
01:34:19.000 What a weird feeling it must be.
01:34:20.000 Walking around with a...
01:34:23.000 We want to put a magnet in her mouth and see if it comes back up.
01:34:29.000 It seems like she could cough wrong and it could just rip something open or something.
01:34:34.000 God forbid.
01:34:34.000 God forbid.
01:34:35.000 God forbid.
01:34:36.000 God forbid.
01:34:39.000 You cannot think of that expression and not think about Dom Herrera.
01:34:42.000 It's true.
01:34:43.000 God forbid.
01:34:43.000 What's the South Philly?
01:34:45.000 That's how we talk.
01:34:45.000 Yeah, everybody.
01:34:46.000 I know, but it's so Dom.
01:34:48.000 Oh, yeah.
01:34:48.000 God forbid.
01:34:50.000 We used to make fun of my grandma.
01:34:52.000 She would say, oh, God forbid.
01:34:54.000 It's a sin and a shame what that kid looks like.
01:34:56.000 What?
01:34:57.000 It's an awful thing to say.
01:34:59.000 Knowing what you know now, knowing what you know now, let me ask you both this question.
01:35:02.000 Uh-oh.
01:35:03.000 Knowing what you know now, what time would you like to go back?
01:35:06.000 If there was a time machine, you can go back to the 1950s and just run shit for all those dorks that didn't know nothing back then.
01:35:14.000 You could just go back and...
01:35:17.000 You mean you would know what you know now, but going back?
01:35:19.000 Exactly.
01:35:20.000 Oh, shit.
01:35:21.000 What year would it be?
01:35:24.000 1960. I still couldn't vote in the 50s, so maybe I could lead a charge.
01:35:28.000 You could vote in the 50s.
01:35:29.000 When was suffrage?
01:35:31.000 Oh, wait, 28. No, what am I saying?
01:35:33.000 For us.
01:35:33.000 I wouldn't want to go back.
01:35:34.000 I would want to go...
01:35:35.000 What was it?
01:35:36.000 Yeah, definitely not.
01:35:37.000 Definitely not.
01:35:38.000 I just watched Back to the Future yesterday, and it was horrible.
01:35:41.000 I know.
01:35:42.000 I thought it was fascinating.
01:35:43.000 I saw Back to the Future 2 with my kids at a movie theater.
01:35:47.000 And you thought it was terrible?
01:35:48.000 Loved it.
01:35:49.000 No, I wouldn't want to live back in that time.
01:35:51.000 Oh, I see what you're saying.
01:35:52.000 I was like, wait, what?
01:35:53.000 I love that movie.
01:35:54.000 No, Back to the Future 2. I don't think I ever saw it.
01:35:56.000 I think I only saw one.
01:35:58.000 Oh no, I did see two, I remember.
01:36:00.000 It was great!
01:36:00.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:36:01.000 It was fun!
01:36:02.000 And that was this year, I think, right?
01:36:04.000 Yes, 2015. 2015, dude.
01:36:06.000 Isn't that weird when you watch, they're like, oh, they were in the future.
01:36:09.000 It was our time now.
01:36:10.000 Everybody was so off.
01:36:11.000 They missed everything.
01:36:13.000 Everybody thought it was going to be spaceships.
01:36:15.000 Everybody thought it was going to be hoverboards.
01:36:16.000 They thought it was going to be mechanical things.
01:36:18.000 No, it's Pokemon, you fuck.
01:36:21.000 Pokemon has invaded the world.
01:36:23.000 Invasion of privacy.
01:36:24.000 Exactly.
01:36:24.000 That's what it is.
01:36:25.000 It's some sort of a connection between all of us in a weird, sneaky way.
01:36:29.000 It's going to get it in with a game and we're going to get used to it.
01:36:32.000 Just like you're used to now.
01:36:33.000 People holding up their phones and taking pictures of things.
01:36:36.000 We're used to people texting each other while they're driving.
01:36:40.000 All this stuff is inevitable.
01:36:43.000 It's going to be all a part of us.
01:36:46.000 It's trying to figure out a way to absorb us right now.
01:36:49.000 I think it's got us.
01:36:49.000 And the best way to suck us in is a game.
01:36:51.000 You don't think it absorbs us right now?
01:36:53.000 Yeah, but it's deeper.
01:36:54.000 Even more.
01:36:54.000 You think it's even going to go further.
01:36:56.000 Yeah, like technology's not going to stop and go, you know what?
01:36:58.000 I think we're good.
01:36:59.000 I think we've achieved a certain level of success with people.
01:37:02.000 We know that they love us.
01:37:03.000 They're going to keep us around.
01:37:04.000 Yeah, nobody stays.
01:37:06.000 They're always looking for the next best thing.
01:37:07.000 You always used to yell, where are the flying cars?
01:37:09.000 Where are the flying cars?
01:37:10.000 We're in the future.
01:37:11.000 Where's the jetpacks?
01:37:12.000 Where's the jetpacks?
01:37:13.000 All of it.
01:37:13.000 Yeah.
01:37:14.000 And you're right.
01:37:15.000 Well, the mechanical thing is what everybody expected.
01:37:17.000 Because the mechanical things were the biggest leaps.
01:37:19.000 Like, think about before there was a car.
01:37:21.000 Before there was a car and then after there was a car.
01:37:23.000 Whoa!
01:37:24.000 How nutty.
01:37:25.000 I mean, look what the fuck happened.
01:37:26.000 People just came across the country on wheels and built fucking houses everywhere and they drive with shit back and forth and they're shipping things on trucks and food on trucks and you can get food to places that could never get it before.
01:37:39.000 That's a game changer when they invented the car.
01:37:41.000 Yeah.
01:37:42.000 And that's just a machine.
01:37:43.000 So I think all of us growing up in that era, like in our time, we thought it was going to be a machine.
01:37:49.000 It was going to be some crazy robot.
01:37:50.000 It was going to be a jetpack.
01:37:52.000 It was going to be something that showed us that we're living in the Jetsons.
01:37:55.000 But no, it's something no one ever saw coming.
01:37:58.000 Information.
01:37:58.000 Yeah, it's a different way.
01:37:59.000 Information.
01:38:00.000 I remember my grandma telling me she was so afraid of cars.
01:38:04.000 And the fact that my grandpa drove like a maniac.
01:38:07.000 He probably drank and drove because it was a long time ago.
01:38:10.000 And she was so afraid she would lay on the back seat on the floor.
01:38:14.000 And just her and her best friend would lay on the back.
01:38:17.000 And I'm like, wow.
01:38:18.000 I would never think to be afraid of cars.
01:38:21.000 You're getting anything.
01:38:22.000 You know what I mean?
01:38:22.000 Getting any car.
01:38:23.000 It's awesome.
01:38:23.000 You know it works.
01:38:25.000 You know it's great.
01:38:26.000 But it was still coming up.
01:38:28.000 For my grandma.
01:38:30.000 Well, Byron Bowers, you know Byron.
01:38:32.000 So funny.
01:38:33.000 Hilarious dude.
01:38:34.000 Great, great fucking guy too.
01:38:35.000 So funny.
01:38:37.000 He's gonna be on here in a couple weeks.
01:38:39.000 Byron, his grandmother remembers someone in her family telling her a story about them remembering the cotton gin.
01:38:48.000 Wow.
01:38:50.000 Yep.
01:38:51.000 That's crazy.
01:38:52.000 Crazy.
01:38:53.000 I mean, this is a direct connection.
01:38:56.000 Like, his family goes straight back to slavery.
01:39:01.000 Like, they can track it.
01:39:03.000 Like, they remember.
01:39:03.000 They remember the people.
01:39:04.000 They're picking cotton.
01:39:05.000 This is grandma.
01:39:06.000 This is great-grandma, you know?
01:39:08.000 There's still cotton pickers.
01:39:10.000 Do you know that?
01:39:10.000 Of course.
01:39:11.000 People pick cotton.
01:39:13.000 It never went away.
01:39:15.000 There was a black guy and he goes, I'm a cotton picker.
01:39:20.000 There was a video all about it and it showed all his friends working and they're just like, hey, what's up?
01:39:25.000 And it's funny how you think that, oh no, you're not allowed to even talk about picking cotton anymore.
01:39:31.000 They get paid to do it now.
01:39:32.000 It's a real job.
01:39:34.000 Yeah, that's a weird job for black dudes to gravitate towards.
01:39:38.000 It's like, why did you?
01:39:40.000 You would think you would rebel against that one.
01:39:46.000 Paul Mooney used to tell us crazy stories.
01:39:49.000 And I remember one time we had this manager.
01:39:51.000 I forget his name.
01:39:52.000 There were so many managers at the comedy store.
01:39:54.000 But Paul would tell me all these crazy stories.
01:39:55.000 He was raised by his grandma.
01:39:58.000 Her mom was a slave.
01:40:01.000 Literally, so he would tell stories.
01:40:03.000 And if you think about it, I mean, Paul's in his 80s.
01:40:05.000 Yeah.
01:40:05.000 So, yeah, his grandma...
01:40:07.000 Is Paul that old?
01:40:09.000 Paul what?
01:40:10.000 Paul that old?
01:40:10.000 I think so.
01:40:11.000 Is he really in his 80s?
01:40:13.000 Late 70s, possibly 80. Wow.
01:40:15.000 But he would tell me all these stories, and the manager was like, slavery?
01:40:20.000 They haven't had slavery in, like, thousands of years.
01:40:23.000 I was like, are you high?
01:40:24.000 Yeah.
01:40:25.000 But he was so serious!
01:40:26.000 And I was like, what?
01:40:27.000 And he goes, well, at least 500. And I go, oh my god.
01:40:31.000 But we didn't have Google.
01:40:31.000 I couldn't say, hey, idiot, Google it.
01:40:33.000 I was just like, are you crazy?
01:40:36.000 But I just walked away from him.
01:40:38.000 Because I was like, I'm either going to strangle him.
01:40:41.000 Just for me saying that it was less than 200 years ago at that point, he didn't believe me.
01:40:47.000 But there's some things that people say like that.
01:40:49.000 Just that.
01:40:50.000 Listen, that's what you want it to be.
01:40:52.000 You want it to be thousands of years ago.
01:40:54.000 That's what you want it to be.
01:40:55.000 I know what you're doing.
01:40:56.000 Why do you think that that's the case?
01:40:58.000 No.
01:40:59.000 People say weird shit.
01:41:01.000 I had a discussion with a guy a long fucking time ago about the Civil War, and he was talking about the economic impact.
01:41:07.000 They were going to cripple the farms.
01:41:09.000 It was an economic war.
01:41:10.000 They forced him in a corner where they had...
01:41:13.000 It was about slavery.
01:41:15.000 It was just about, yeah, if you don't want to pay people and you're making them work, that's economics.
01:41:22.000 That's a problem.
01:41:23.000 People don't like that.
01:41:23.000 They like to get paid for work.
01:41:25.000 So, yeah, in that sense, it was an economic issue.
01:41:27.000 What?
01:41:28.000 But people repeat that because they can drink and go, yeah, well, these fucking liberals, try telling that to them.
01:41:33.000 They don't want to hear it.
01:41:36.000 Listen, these people who were slaves, a lot of them were treated very well.
01:41:41.000 I'll have you know, there's a lot of like, that roots, that propaganda, that movie, that L. Ron Hubbard, whoever wrote that shit, that guy, he wrote, a lot of them were good friends with the white folks.
01:41:53.000 Sometimes they interbred.
01:41:56.000 They often interbred.
01:41:58.000 The master would pick himself a good woman and she would be treated better than the rest.
01:42:02.000 So, you know, I mean, how much different is that than working at Burger King?
01:42:05.000 I mean, come on.
01:42:08.000 There's a lot of those dudes out there.
01:42:09.000 They were always out there.
01:42:11.000 Yes, they're crazy.
01:42:12.000 I didn't know we were going to bring my dad back up.
01:42:15.000 There's a lot of people who are fucking completely insane.
01:42:18.000 Yeah, it's true.
01:42:19.000 There's a lot of people that are just...
01:42:20.000 But the thing is, when a guy says, it's about economics, it's about economics, they want it to be that.
01:42:27.000 So they want there to be a bunch of silly people.
01:42:29.000 So they can sleep at night.
01:42:29.000 Yeah, they don't want slavery to have been abolished in just 1865. Yeah.
01:42:34.000 And people went to war over it.
01:42:35.000 Yeah.
01:42:36.000 Yeah.
01:42:36.000 That's so recent.
01:42:39.000 Fuck that's recent, you know?
01:42:41.000 I was born in 67, okay?
01:42:43.000 So it's 200 years, rather, before I was born.
01:42:46.000 Think about that.
01:42:47.000 Or 100 years, rather.
01:42:48.000 100 years before I was born.
01:42:49.000 Yeah.
01:42:50.000 Think about that.
01:42:51.000 No.
01:42:51.000 No, that's awful.
01:42:53.000 That's nothing.
01:42:54.000 I mean, yeah, my grandma was 93 when she died.
01:42:57.000 1865 doesn't even sound right.
01:42:59.000 Yeah.
01:42:59.000 When you say it, that it was only 140-something years ago, you're like, nah.
01:43:03.000 It was more than that, right?
01:43:05.000 It was more than that, right?
01:43:06.000 It was more than that, right?
01:43:07.000 People are crazy.
01:43:09.000 What creeps we were.
01:43:12.000 We had slaves just a fucking couple hundred years ago.
01:43:16.000 I have family that live to be a hundred.
01:43:18.000 So that's an easy number.
01:43:20.000 Jesus Christ.
01:43:22.000 That is so strange that that was so recent.
01:43:27.000 And in places where it was, like, real prevalent.
01:43:29.000 No, stop and think of that, right?
01:43:30.000 Think of places where, like, slavery was real prevalent, right?
01:43:34.000 Yeah.
01:43:34.000 People lived on the slavery.
01:43:35.000 They had it.
01:43:36.000 There was lynchings.
01:43:37.000 There was all that kind of crazy shit.
01:43:38.000 And now think, that all goes away just 150 years ago.
01:43:42.000 Yeah.
01:43:43.000 And they've got to recover.
01:43:44.000 So, racist grandpappy, racist pawpaw, racist pawpaw, they'll tell you what we're going to do.
01:43:53.000 We're going to put our foot down.
01:43:55.000 I'll tell you what we're going to do.
01:43:56.000 We're going to stop all this interbreeding.
01:44:00.000 Chelsea Handler did something on her show, that first one on Netflix, where she went and visited places like that.
01:44:07.000 I was like, whoa!
01:44:09.000 And she's having conversations, and they're doing what you're saying with the economic.
01:44:13.000 And I'm like, what the hell?
01:44:15.000 And she's like, wait a minute.
01:44:16.000 I'm trying to school them, but it's just, you're right, like this, blinders.
01:44:21.000 Well, they don't look into it, and that's what they want to hear.
01:44:25.000 So it's what they talk about.
01:44:28.000 It's a fascinating thing when people do that.
01:44:30.000 When people don't consider the possibility of another point of view.
01:44:34.000 Right.
01:44:35.000 Yeah, you can't be that close-minded.
01:44:37.000 That's insane.
01:44:38.000 Yeah, I mean, if you look at how many people benefited from slavery stopping, the idea that anybody's out there somehow or another is saying, well, we'll need to bout that.
01:44:50.000 It's about keeping this corn business going.
01:44:53.000 I need someone to pick this here corn.
01:44:55.000 I can't pick it on myself.
01:44:56.000 My back is bad.
01:44:58.000 We're trying to keep a family fed.
01:45:01.000 We're trying to support a community.
01:45:03.000 Fuck, that's crazy.
01:45:05.000 Living in those places, like living in spots where it was like insanely racist for hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of years, right?
01:45:11.000 And then to expect that to just shut off and turn around within our lifetimes?
01:45:17.000 It's almost amazing that people aren't more racist.
01:45:21.000 Well, Philadelphia's pretty racist.
01:45:23.000 Boston's pretty racist.
01:45:25.000 Only parts of Boston.
01:45:26.000 Parts.
01:45:27.000 Boston, like the center of Boston, is very liberal.
01:45:30.000 Very democratic, very progressive.
01:45:33.000 But there's a lot of Italians that don't like the college.
01:45:37.000 Well, they don't like...
01:45:38.000 My parents growing up, you couldn't date Italian-Irish.
01:45:42.000 Yeah, well, they don't like people.
01:45:43.000 Oh, my God, they would freak out.
01:45:44.000 Yeah, they don't like people that are different than them.
01:45:46.000 They get mad.
01:45:46.000 Yeah.
01:45:47.000 And Italian-Irish, like...
01:45:48.000 That was a big one.
01:45:49.000 You and I, we're the dirtiest of the mutts.
01:45:52.000 I'm 100% Irish.
01:45:53.000 You think you are.
01:45:54.000 Well, my dad...
01:45:54.000 You've had so much dick in you from Italian guys that I think...
01:45:57.000 If we're going with that, Jim...
01:45:58.000 That's what I'm...
01:45:58.000 You said it all.
01:46:00.000 I'm representing every country.
01:46:05.000 I watch the Olympics and go, I've been there.
01:46:07.000 Yeah, Philly is similar in a lot of ways.
01:46:10.000 Like Philly, New York, Boston, New Jersey, they all have a different feel to them, but what's similar is they're hardy people that are living in tough climates and they're the children of the children of immigrants for the most part.
01:46:24.000 Yeah, most of my neighbors growing up spoke Italian.
01:46:28.000 We came over, I don't remember how far back.
01:46:32.000 I think my great-great on my dad's side and then great-great-great on my mom's side came from Ireland.
01:46:40.000 Yeah, that's a lot of the people that I grew up with.
01:46:42.000 It was always like their dad's dad or something along those lines.
01:46:45.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:46:45.000 It was my grandparents on both sides.
01:46:48.000 Came from my parents, my mom's side, it was all Italian.
01:46:53.000 And my dad's side was half Irish and half Italian.
01:46:55.000 One from Italy, one from Ireland.
01:46:57.000 But they were all fresh off the boat.
01:46:58.000 Nice.
01:46:59.000 Bad Irish snuck in there.
01:47:01.000 Just banging each other.
01:47:02.000 Dirty little monkeys.
01:47:05.000 We're not supposed to be together.
01:47:07.000 We're not even supposed to be on this continent, baby.
01:47:10.000 Take my seed.
01:47:12.000 Grow me a person.
01:47:14.000 Grow me a person.
01:47:15.000 Grow me a person in your body.
01:47:17.000 My mom's good at that one.
01:47:18.000 Ten.
01:47:19.000 Ten, and my dad's dad was one of fifteen.
01:47:22.000 Good lord.
01:47:23.000 There's a lot of us out there.
01:47:25.000 The Irish know how to fuck.
01:47:27.000 Well...
01:47:29.000 We do.
01:47:30.000 They like to keep them, too.
01:47:32.000 Yeah, they got a lot of kids.
01:47:33.000 Keep them kids.
01:47:33.000 That's a gang of kids.
01:47:36.000 My mom's sister had 10 kids, too.
01:47:37.000 Oh, my God.
01:47:39.000 What were picnics like?
01:47:41.000 Picnics.
01:47:41.000 Not a lot of picnics.
01:47:42.000 They didn't like mob scenes like that in a park.
01:47:45.000 We had to rent a hall.
01:47:47.000 26 people.
01:47:48.000 Do it indoors.
01:47:49.000 How many families?
01:47:50.000 One.
01:47:50.000 My mom's mom had four kids.
01:47:53.000 She was orphaned at a very early age.
01:47:55.000 She had four kids, so she wanted to have a real tight-knit family.
01:47:58.000 Four kids, 27 grandchildren, and 45 great-grandchildren when she passed away 11 years ago.
01:48:03.000 Not a lot of periods in your family.
01:48:06.000 Only time.
01:48:07.000 Only time.
01:48:08.000 The money they saved on Tampax.
01:48:09.000 They're probably just super fertile.
01:48:12.000 You could probably get them pregnant when they're on their period.
01:48:15.000 Fertile myrtle sisters.
01:48:15.000 Yeah, you can.
01:48:16.000 My mom had a hysterectomy.
01:48:17.000 She's still nervous.
01:48:18.000 She's like, I'm not walking around.
01:48:21.000 That's so crazy.
01:48:23.000 That's such a giant number of human beings to come out of a couple of folks.
01:48:26.000 Think about how many other people are going to get bread out of that.
01:48:30.000 Yeah, we're good.
01:48:31.000 We slowed.
01:48:32.000 We slowed because we're 10 and then I only have 10 nieces and nephews.
01:48:36.000 Wow.
01:48:37.000 But my little sister did just get married, so my add-on.
01:48:40.000 Wow.
01:48:41.000 That's awesome.
01:48:42.000 My Aunt Joy, she had 10 kids and they have, I think, 15 or 17 nieces and nephews.
01:48:48.000 You know what I mean?
01:48:49.000 So they did the bigger.
01:48:52.000 We did it.
01:48:52.000 We're half and half.
01:48:53.000 Half of us had kids and half of us didn't.
01:48:55.000 Half of us were like, you know what?
01:48:57.000 We're going to stop this bloodline.
01:48:58.000 Enough.
01:48:59.000 Enough.
01:49:00.000 Maybe that's why you don't want kids.
01:49:02.000 You've just been around too many people.
01:49:03.000 True.
01:49:04.000 It could be those bad decisions I made with dating.
01:49:07.000 No, I'm just kidding.
01:49:08.000 No, they're good.
01:49:09.000 I love kids.
01:49:09.000 I do.
01:49:10.000 But I just...
01:49:11.000 I don't know.
01:49:12.000 You're like...
01:49:12.000 Yeah.
01:49:13.000 You don't have to.
01:49:14.000 For my own.
01:49:14.000 For my own.
01:49:15.000 I don't want...
01:49:16.000 For me.
01:49:16.000 Like, when I go home, I'm with my nieces and nephews all the time.
01:49:19.000 Yeah.
01:49:20.000 Hang out with them all the time.
01:49:20.000 I even had my niece, Alexa, came out here to live for a little while because she's into...
01:49:26.000 Producing and editing.
01:49:28.000 She just graduated college.
01:49:30.000 I'm very close with my kids.
01:49:32.000 I call them my kids.
01:49:33.000 But just for myself, I didn't want.
01:49:36.000 It makes total sense.
01:49:38.000 And also just the sheer numbers of people you've been around for so long.
01:49:42.000 You're like, you're not fucking people.
01:49:43.000 I don't need to make any more people.
01:49:45.000 Jesus Christ.
01:49:46.000 I mean, I wonder how much of that pull to family is that, you know, to create some bond with people that you're like deeply, deeply close to.
01:49:54.000 And I wonder if you grow up with so many people like you, if that bond gets like drowned out.
01:49:58.000 But the way we grew up on top of each other, our bond is tight.
01:50:01.000 I mean, we are tight.
01:50:02.000 I'm not saying, let's not get crazy, but we are tight.
01:50:05.000 Oh, I could imagine.
01:50:06.000 Yeah.
01:50:06.000 Ten kids growing up in a pile like that.
01:50:08.000 I bet if one of you gets in trouble, it's a fucking hailstorm.
01:50:10.000 Yeah.
01:50:11.000 Nobody wanted to fight one because you had a fight.
01:50:13.000 And I have six brothers, so it's like, I shared a room with them.
01:50:16.000 I stayed in the room with them.
01:50:17.000 That's an important thing growing up.
01:50:18.000 What?
01:50:19.000 Boys or the tightness?
01:50:21.000 Yeah, like if shit goes down.
01:50:22.000 Like if it was raining out, people would knock on our door like, let's go in there.
01:50:25.000 It's like a playground.
01:50:27.000 That's hilarious.
01:50:29.000 There's always something to do in the Kerrigan house, you know, like it was just insane.
01:50:33.000 That's just never going to happen again.
01:50:34.000 Yeah, you're right.
01:50:35.000 You're right.
01:50:36.000 Yeah.
01:50:36.000 Now, you know, Now that people have two kids and they tag out.
01:50:39.000 And that's fine.
01:50:40.000 Well, not just that.
01:50:41.000 Kids aren't running around the street where it rains out.
01:50:43.000 Yeah, you can't.
01:50:44.000 That was my favorite.
01:50:46.000 Like, we really were outside.
01:50:47.000 And that's why, kind of with this Pokemon thing, I'm excited that people are outside.
01:50:52.000 I was home a couple weeks ago.
01:50:54.000 I was watching these kids fight and play in the playground.
01:50:56.000 And it was just awesome.
01:50:58.000 Like, I still think certain areas do it.
01:51:00.000 LA, it doesn't exist.
01:51:01.000 Well, I think that when, definitely not walking.
01:51:04.000 I mean, people in New York walk way more than they walk out here.
01:51:07.000 Like, Ari loves doing sets and then walking home to his apartment.
01:51:10.000 It's my favorite thing to do in New York.
01:51:12.000 Do you really?
01:51:12.000 My favorite thing.
01:51:13.000 And I've walked from all the way, the Upper West Side, all the way down.
01:51:16.000 That's so weird.
01:51:17.000 How about just go to the gym and then take a cab like a normal person?
01:51:20.000 I did do that.
01:51:21.000 I did go to the gym that day.
01:51:23.000 We go to Crunch Gym and we kill it.
01:51:26.000 And then that night I walk home.
01:51:28.000 I do enjoy, like, hiking.
01:51:29.000 I do enjoy, like, walking up hills in nature and shit like that.
01:51:33.000 I enjoy that.
01:51:34.000 But, like, walking around the streets, I'm like, this fucking air is tainted.
01:51:37.000 But New York?
01:51:38.000 No, it's great.
01:51:39.000 Just breathing in brake dust.
01:51:40.000 I even do it here.
01:51:41.000 Exhaust fumes.
01:51:42.000 I even do it here.
01:51:42.000 And hoping nobody fucking texts and drives right into you.
01:51:45.000 Fuck that.
01:51:46.000 Well, you just have to be as alert as if you're driving, walking.
01:51:50.000 I've seen a couple people run lights lately.
01:51:52.000 Spooky.
01:51:52.000 It's very strange.
01:51:54.000 We saw a girl get hit by a car.
01:51:57.000 I don't even know how it happened.
01:51:59.000 We were in the car.
01:52:00.000 A guy was making a left.
01:52:01.000 A girl was crossing the street.
01:52:03.000 This guy, obviously in the wrong, making a left.
01:52:05.000 She was on her phone, but she looked before she crossed.
01:52:10.000 He made the left.
01:52:11.000 He must have been on his phone.
01:52:13.000 Not hard, but he realized.
01:52:15.000 She went down like a sack of potatoes, and me and my niece were like, oh my god!
01:52:19.000 We just got out to help because we didn't know what...
01:52:22.000 How do you not see that?
01:52:23.000 How did he not see her?
01:52:25.000 How did...
01:52:25.000 People sometimes are not fucking paying attention.
01:52:27.000 It doesn't make any sense.
01:52:28.000 They're just drifting off.
01:52:30.000 How many people are just so tired?
01:52:32.000 They're like barely paying attention to what they're doing.
01:52:34.000 They're just working all day and they're so tired.
01:52:37.000 I walk home from the store a lot.
01:52:40.000 Do you?
01:52:41.000 You're a maniac.
01:52:42.000 I try to, because the parking...
01:52:44.000 If I just have a spot at the store, sometimes I'll just...
01:52:47.000 Or if I do the store in the factory, because then you can walk down the street.
01:52:51.000 And a lot of times, if I have both, I'll park at the store, walk to the factory, and then walk back.
01:52:57.000 Well, Sunset is...
01:52:58.000 If there's going to be a spot, there's like...
01:52:59.000 What else?
01:53:00.000 Melrose and Sunset and Santa Monica Boulevard.
01:53:02.000 Yeah.
01:53:03.000 People walk down there.
01:53:04.000 And then people walk on the promenade, that little Santa Monica area.
01:53:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:53:08.000 They walk down there.
01:53:09.000 Venice, people walk around in Venice.
01:53:10.000 But when you walk in Hollywood, people look at you like, oh, God, what's wrong with her?
01:53:15.000 Yeah, just walking around like some hooker.
01:53:16.000 I have a car, and I am a hooker.
01:53:18.000 I have to make extra money.
01:53:19.000 And that is weird, like, when you're walking around or driving around in Hollywood, you don't see a lot of people walking.
01:53:24.000 No, only on certain areas, like you said, the Hollywood Boulevard, if they're going to sightsee, whatever.
01:53:29.000 I wonder how much that shaped what the personality of people that live in LA is.
01:53:35.000 The fact that people were in cars early on because the transportation system sucks.
01:53:39.000 Oh yeah, it's terrible.
01:53:40.000 But I didn't have a license when I first moved here.
01:53:42.000 Right.
01:53:44.000 I tried to learn how to drive and I tried to get my sister Karen to take me to get a license, but she missed the accident and she got angry.
01:53:51.000 Really?
01:53:52.000 Yeah.
01:53:52.000 She literally was like, I'll kill us all!
01:53:54.000 And she drove home.
01:53:56.000 I was like, oh my god, anger issues.
01:53:58.000 Seriously, I hate you.
01:53:59.000 What a bitch.
01:54:00.000 Do you ever forgive her?
01:54:01.000 I love my sister, yeah.
01:54:02.000 Do you bring her up to her every now and then?
01:54:04.000 I was on stage and I told that story and she was here with her daughter visiting for Mother's Day and I started to tell the story and I heard her go, oh, this story.
01:54:13.000 Ah!
01:54:14.000 She was so mad.
01:54:18.000 She taught me how to swim.
01:54:20.000 She taught me everything, my sister Karen.
01:54:21.000 She's 10 years older and we look exactly alike.
01:54:24.000 Wow.
01:54:24.000 It's like the weirdest thing.
01:54:26.000 And her daughter, when she came out here, everybody was like, oh, is that your daughter?
01:54:28.000 I'm like, no.
01:54:29.000 And they're like, don't lie to us.
01:54:30.000 You abandoned your kid to come to LA. I was like, yeah, I'd abandoned a kid to do this, right?
01:54:36.000 Like, who would do that?
01:54:36.000 No one would do that.
01:54:38.000 And Dave Taylor was like, you guys have the same overbite.
01:54:41.000 I'm like...
01:54:42.000 What do you work for?
01:54:42.000 CSI? What does that even mean?
01:54:44.000 Taylor said that?
01:54:46.000 I'm like, she's my niece.
01:54:48.000 He's like, no, you gave her up.
01:54:50.000 Oh, that's just Taylor Taylor.
01:54:51.000 Being crazy.
01:54:52.000 Well, he wasn't the only one.
01:54:54.000 He's the only one that said the overbite.
01:54:56.000 That's all.
01:54:57.000 But anyway, so yeah, she's my sister's type.
01:55:00.000 But I didn't have a license until two, three years after being here.
01:55:04.000 So walking was...
01:55:07.000 Awful.
01:55:08.000 Awful.
01:55:09.000 Because you wait for the bus and they just have their own schedule.
01:55:13.000 Like I was used to the East Coast where you can take a bus to Boston and come back.
01:55:17.000 What kind of fucking characters were you running into on the public transportation system in L.A.? One time I remember I got in trouble because I was waiting tables at the store and the manager was like, if you're late, one more time.
01:55:28.000 Because I'm always late.
01:55:29.000 It's my thing.
01:55:29.000 Whatever.
01:55:30.000 My grandma used to yell at us for it.
01:55:32.000 I don't know what happens.
01:55:33.000 But anyway, so my grandma actually called me, you people.
01:55:38.000 I'm like, really?
01:55:39.000 Well, that's so racist.
01:55:41.000 That's hilarious.
01:55:41.000 But anyway, so she was like, if you're late, one more time.
01:55:45.000 So I specifically came, I think, an hour early.
01:55:48.000 I could have just walked, but I was waiting for the bus.
01:55:50.000 And I was waiting for the bus, and I was talking to this black guy.
01:55:54.000 He was funny.
01:55:55.000 He was like, damn, a girl like you, you should be in a Cadillac.
01:55:59.000 And I was like, you got one?
01:56:00.000 Like, you know, I'm like playing with him.
01:56:02.000 You know, I like talk to people.
01:56:03.000 And he did.
01:56:03.000 He had a nice little curl going.
01:56:06.000 So I know what he did.
01:56:07.000 I can tell what he did.
01:56:08.000 He was a pimp?
01:56:09.000 Yeah.
01:56:09.000 It's not my business.
01:56:10.000 So I was just talking to him.
01:56:11.000 So he's trying to get you to go to work for him?
01:56:13.000 No.
01:56:14.000 He was literally just talking.
01:56:15.000 Then the bus came.
01:56:16.000 As I went to get on the bus, they pulled me off the bus, two undercover cops.
01:56:20.000 They had him on the ground with guns in his face.
01:56:23.000 And I'm like, what's the...
01:56:24.000 And they grabbed my bag.
01:56:25.000 She started going through my bag.
01:56:27.000 I was like, you can't go through my bag.
01:56:28.000 I started panicking.
01:56:30.000 I was like, you can't go through my bag.
01:56:31.000 You don't know me.
01:56:32.000 And they're like, why were you talking to him?
01:56:34.000 Do you work for him?
01:56:36.000 I'm like...
01:56:36.000 I'm looking at...
01:56:37.000 I have a giant oversized gray sweater on, black tights, a comedy store t-shirt.
01:56:42.000 I'm like, what?
01:56:43.000 Do I... No, I'm not working for him.
01:56:44.000 See that girl with her...
01:56:46.000 Pussy hanging out of her skirt.
01:56:48.000 She's working for him, not me.
01:56:49.000 Like, they were on the other side of the street, and he's like, get down.
01:56:52.000 So they're screaming at me, and they're going through my bag, and I'm like, you really can't go through my bag?
01:56:56.000 Like, I'm panicked.
01:56:57.000 And then they just started asking questions.
01:57:01.000 Is he trying to recruit you?
01:57:03.000 Do you work for him?
01:57:04.000 And he's literally on the ground, guns drawn.
01:57:06.000 He did nothing to me.
01:57:08.000 All he did was say I should be in a Cadillac.
01:57:10.000 That was it.
01:57:11.000 And so I was like, dude, you gotta calm down.
01:57:13.000 And I was like, I'm gonna be late for work.
01:57:15.000 And I'm going to get fired.
01:57:16.000 And this guy's got guns in his face.
01:57:18.000 And I'm worried about my waiting tables at the comedy store.
01:57:21.000 So then finally, they let him go.
01:57:23.000 And I was so pissed.
01:57:24.000 And I'm getting my stuff and putting my bag together.
01:57:27.000 And I'm like, this is bullshit.
01:57:28.000 But I was afraid to talk back to a cop.
01:57:30.000 So it was inside me.
01:57:33.000 And then they were like, you want us to drive you to work?
01:57:35.000 And I'm like, oh yeah, that's great.
01:57:37.000 You're going to drive me to work.
01:57:38.000 And as soon as we pull up, I'll tell Mitzi Shore I got picked up for prostitution.
01:57:41.000 And that's why I had to get here.
01:57:43.000 It was late.
01:57:44.000 How late were you?
01:57:45.000 About 15 minutes.
01:57:47.000 Oh, take the ride.
01:57:49.000 Hit the lights.
01:57:50.000 No, I did take the ride, but Mitzi wasn't there that night, thank God.
01:57:55.000 But Debbie, the manager, did see me get out of a cop car, and she's like, what the f- She's undercover.
01:58:01.000 Undercover waitress.
01:58:02.000 That's why she doesn't get fired even though she's late.
01:58:04.000 She's the fuzz, man.
01:58:06.000 That's a crazy story.
01:58:07.000 Mitzi let me be the boss because I was always late.
01:58:09.000 She's like, okay, fine.
01:58:11.000 You know, that's a crazy story because it shows people a side of what it's like to be poor and be dealt with by the cops where they know that you can't do anything.
01:58:19.000 I couldn't do anything.
01:58:20.000 And to be honest, I just panicked when they go through your bag or something.
01:58:27.000 Everything goes through your head and you're like, am I packing tonight?
01:58:30.000 Am I this tonight?
01:58:30.000 What am I doing?
01:58:32.000 Scared, but you have no rights.
01:58:35.000 Most of the time.
01:58:35.000 But that's crazy.
01:58:36.000 It's crazy that you don't have any rights.
01:58:37.000 I don't think that's legal.
01:58:39.000 I know, but if you resist and you fight back, you're gonna get hit.
01:58:42.000 I've been.
01:58:42.000 I've been thrown in the back of a paddy wagon.
01:58:44.000 I've tried both ways.
01:58:46.000 You can't.
01:58:47.000 I've seen guys get beaten.
01:58:49.000 Oh, yeah.
01:58:50.000 Good friends.
01:58:52.000 Just in a nightclub.
01:58:53.000 Just from resisting.
01:58:54.000 And it was a stupid thing we were doing.
01:58:58.000 I've seen both ends.
01:59:01.000 Cops are stressed the fuck out a lot of the times too.
01:59:03.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:59:04.000 In a bad situation like that.
01:59:06.000 In your situation, obviously it was crazy.
01:59:09.000 All you're doing is talking to a guy and then you're getting on a bus.
01:59:12.000 The fact that they grabbed you like that.
01:59:13.000 But how many white girls talk to that guy that aren't working for him?
01:59:18.000 In their defense.
01:59:19.000 So, like, for sure this bitch knows him.
01:59:21.000 Look how comfortable she is with him.
01:59:23.000 She's not even freaking out.
01:59:24.000 She's gotta be a hooker.
01:59:25.000 She's hardened.
01:59:26.000 Like, she's joking around with him.
01:59:28.000 You got a Cadillac?
01:59:28.000 You got one?
01:59:29.000 Like, they're negotiating terms of their contracts.
01:59:32.000 He was funny.
01:59:33.000 Right.
01:59:34.000 But they figured if you're talking to a pimp and you're not freaking out, for sure there's got to be something wrong with you.
01:59:40.000 Yeah, and I'm not saying he might not get another girl who's like, oh, this girl can be molded.
01:59:45.000 Her mind can be molded.
01:59:47.000 You know, I'm not going to turn tricks.
01:59:49.000 Especially with that overbite.
01:59:51.000 Right?
01:59:52.000 All of a sudden I feel like my...
01:59:53.000 Overbite has gotten bigger.
01:59:55.000 You know what's weird, right?
01:59:56.000 A guy can't take...
01:59:58.000 He couldn't recruit girls and have them do sex for money for him and protect them.
02:00:02.000 That's what a pimp does to prostitutes and prostitutes is illegal, right?
02:00:05.000 But you could recruit girls to make videos of them having sex.
02:00:14.000 Like, you know, you could have people who could even pay you.
02:00:17.000 It's not immediate money, though, is it?
02:00:19.000 Prostitution is like waiting tables.
02:00:20.000 Yeah, it could totally be immediate money if you make people pay.
02:00:25.000 Make people pay to have sex with somebody.
02:00:27.000 To download it?
02:00:28.000 Oh, to pay to have sex.
02:00:29.000 Oh, I see what you're saying.
02:00:31.000 I feel like you're helping the pimps right now.
02:00:34.000 The word pimping is very strange.
02:00:38.000 You decide that women are too vulnerable to accept a mentor figure in the strong, sexually overcharged black man with the feathers and the gold chains.
02:00:51.000 That's essentially what they're saying.
02:00:53.000 Yeah, you're right.
02:00:54.000 But if he owns a brothel in Nevada or something like that, that's okay.
02:01:01.000 It's less dangerous for the girl-ish.
02:01:05.000 Yeah, so is porn.
02:01:07.000 I'm not saying there's anything wrong with any of it, but I'm like, prostitution's a fucking weird one.
02:01:14.000 And pimping is an even weirder one, because that guy's not fucking anybody.
02:01:18.000 That's where it's even weird.
02:01:20.000 He's just got a bunch of friends with money that like to give him money.
02:01:22.000 He talks to these girls who do stuff that's illegal.
02:01:25.000 He does stuff.
02:01:26.000 Yeah, they always slept with the girls.
02:01:29.000 Okay, but he's not doing anything to get that money, right?
02:01:31.000 If you're a real pimp, I don't think you're doing anything wrong.
02:01:34.000 You're sitting back, right?
02:01:36.000 You're sitting back, you're maxing and relaxing.
02:01:38.000 You've got furs on.
02:01:40.000 Convincing.
02:01:40.000 You know, you've got long nails.
02:01:41.000 Just show everybody that you can't do work.
02:01:43.000 Only one long nail.
02:01:43.000 Maybe they have a whole...
02:01:44.000 A lot of those dudes are like pimps up, hose down.
02:01:46.000 They had many long nails.
02:01:48.000 Coke nails.
02:01:48.000 Yeah, they had that, but the other nails were substantially longer than the average person who works a 9-to-5 job.
02:01:53.000 Okay, you're right.
02:01:54.000 So, they have this whole thing going on.
02:01:56.000 What are they doing illegal?
02:01:58.000 All they're doing illegal is being a pimp.
02:02:00.000 See, the actual act, the illegal act is being done by the woman.
02:02:04.000 How about the slavery by the woman?
02:02:05.000 The woman is a prostitute.
02:02:08.000 She is deciding as a grown adult to go out and have illegal sex with men and then comes back and brings the money to the pimp, right?
02:02:16.000 The pimp didn't really do anything.
02:02:17.000 He just got the girl to give him his money.
02:02:19.000 A lot of times these girls are underage, too.
02:02:21.000 Well, that's the problem.
02:02:23.000 Well, that's a very different story.
02:02:24.000 That was the only flattering thing about the story is that the guy thought I was underage.
02:02:28.000 Oh, look at his nails!
02:02:30.000 Snoop Dogg gets manicures.
02:02:31.000 Uh-uh.
02:02:32.000 He's fresh.
02:02:33.000 They're not that big.
02:02:34.000 He's fresh.
02:02:34.000 Meanwhile, I love Snoop Dogg.
02:02:38.000 He can do no wrong.
02:02:39.000 Yeah, he can do no wrong.
02:02:39.000 What he did the other day is amazing.
02:02:41.000 The way he led the...
02:02:43.000 It wasn't a protest.
02:02:44.000 It was like, we're going to go talk to our officials and figure it out how we can make peace.
02:02:49.000 How we can do this.
02:02:50.000 And that was good because him and the game did it and a lot of people followed.
02:02:54.000 Yeah, Snoop Dogg's a very peaceful dude.
02:02:55.000 Very peaceful.
02:02:56.000 Very smart man.
02:02:58.000 That nail thing is weird though, isn't it?
02:03:00.000 Yeah, even my nails.
02:03:01.000 I don't even get manicures.
02:03:03.000 Sometimes.
02:03:04.000 Pimps Up, Hose Down.
02:03:05.000 Pimps Up, Hose Down was really great.
02:03:07.000 Yes.
02:03:07.000 I used to watch it on repeat with Freddie Soto because we were obsessed with Fillmore Slim, I believe.
02:03:13.000 Oh, yeah.
02:03:13.000 Yeah.
02:03:14.000 Yeah, he was slick.
02:03:15.000 That's what the guy looked like that was sitting on the bench.
02:03:17.000 And I always wondered, was it him?
02:03:20.000 It might have been.
02:03:21.000 I don't know.
02:03:21.000 What year was it?
02:03:22.000 Was it the 90s?
02:03:23.000 93. Probably was him.
02:03:24.000 Yeah, 93. That was way before that movie.
02:03:26.000 Yeah.
02:03:27.000 Look at Ice-T. Remember Ice-T was in it?
02:03:28.000 He was in it.
02:03:29.000 And Ice-T went on this long rant about how he is just a pimp and he's not really a rapper.
02:03:36.000 I've never really been a rapper.
02:03:37.000 Yeah.
02:03:38.000 I've been about rapping.
02:03:38.000 And the woman.
02:03:39.000 Remember the woman?
02:03:40.000 What was her name?
02:03:41.000 Big...
02:03:42.000 How about Mr. White Folks?
02:03:43.000 Remember Mr. White Folks?
02:03:45.000 There he is right there.
02:03:46.000 Go right above the cursor.
02:03:47.000 This guy.
02:03:48.000 Mr. White Folks.
02:03:49.000 Mr. White Folks.
02:03:52.000 Oh my god, he was hilarious.
02:03:54.000 Why are you reckless eyeballing?
02:03:55.000 Yes, yes!
02:03:57.000 Oh, it's crazy, this show.
02:03:59.000 This documentary was one of my favorites.
02:04:01.000 And then the other guy we liked, Fillmore Slim.
02:04:04.000 Oh, I just loved how he would come to LA, all his girls got arrested, and he's like, you thought that was my first track?
02:04:12.000 Yeah.
02:04:12.000 I got another track.
02:04:14.000 Quick.
02:04:14.000 And he just was on a payphone.
02:04:16.000 Yeah.
02:04:16.000 He brought in the B team.
02:04:18.000 They took out the B team and then he sent the A team down second.
02:04:21.000 So y'all knocked the wrong hoes.
02:04:23.000 Yeah.
02:04:24.000 Y'all knocked the wrong hoes.
02:04:25.000 Like they were playing...
02:04:26.000 Had a busy booking name.
02:04:27.000 Watch this.
02:04:28.000 I was like, yes, I love this guy.
02:04:30.000 They played games.
02:04:31.000 We were obsessed with that show, that documentary.
02:04:34.000 I mean, obviously there's sadness to it.
02:04:36.000 Like no one wants a girl to be a prostitute.
02:04:38.000 So much sadness to it.
02:04:40.000 On both parts, yes.
02:04:41.000 But the girl gets zero percentage.
02:04:43.000 That's where I remember learning that.
02:04:45.000 And I was like, what?
02:04:46.000 Let me ask you this, honestly and truthfully.
02:04:49.000 Isn't a lot of what's wrong with prostitution two things.
02:04:52.000 One, our idea about it, like our forbidden, it's taboo, you're not supposed to get money for sex.
02:05:02.000 And two, the fact that it's illegal.
02:05:04.000 Because if it was legal, probably the same amount of people would be doing it.
02:05:10.000 No.
02:05:11.000 More, don't you think?
02:05:12.000 I think it would be more.
02:05:13.000 I think it would be more.
02:05:14.000 The same amount of people would be doing prostitution or going to prostitutes.
02:05:19.000 I'm saying doing prostitution.
02:05:21.000 Yeah, I'm saying doing prostitution.
02:05:22.000 They just would be busier.
02:05:23.000 They'd be busier.
02:05:24.000 It would be more high-end, like Heidi Fleissie.
02:05:27.000 I know that wrong, but you know what I mean.
02:05:29.000 Heidi Floyd.
02:05:29.000 It'd probably be more people, because I know a lot of girls that would do it if it was legal, you know?
02:05:35.000 That's what I'm saying!
02:05:37.000 Oh, leave my Kim alone.
02:05:38.000 How dare you.
02:05:40.000 My sweet Kim.
02:05:41.000 You are so rude.
02:05:41.000 I would be working side-by-side with Kim, is what I'm saying.
02:05:45.000 See, if it was legal, I think if it was accepted and legal, I think definitely more people would do it, you know?
02:05:53.000 I think if I was a girl, I would definitely fuck guys that I would attract to for money.
02:05:59.000 If I was attracted to a guy, and he was like, look, I don't want a relationship, but I'll give you two grand for you.
02:06:04.000 Sometimes I've had sex with a guy, and then...
02:06:08.000 You're sick.
02:06:10.000 Even in a relationship, one time I remember getting in an argument with my boyfriend, because after we had sex, he gave me money, and I was like...
02:06:19.000 Inappropriate?
02:06:19.000 And he was like, what?
02:06:20.000 But it was for something?
02:06:22.000 He's like, oh, you're going to go get this today.
02:06:24.000 I forget what it was.
02:06:25.000 I don't know if it was something for me.
02:06:27.000 I forget what it was, but it was money.
02:06:29.000 And I was like, am I a prostitute?
02:06:31.000 When he left, I was like, oh, that didn't feel that bad.
02:06:35.000 I might do this more often.
02:06:36.000 If you really like the guy, I bet it's awesome.
02:06:38.000 No, but we were in a relationship.
02:06:39.000 But it was just a weird moment.
02:06:40.000 I was like, oh.
02:06:41.000 Right.
02:06:41.000 But I'm saying, if you really love the guy, you'd get two things you like.
02:06:45.000 Dick and then money.
02:06:47.000 Yeah.
02:06:47.000 And that's that order, usually.
02:06:49.000 I mean, people get paid for jobs that they love.
02:06:52.000 Or people get paid for jobs that they hate.
02:06:55.000 How about getting paid for one they love?
02:06:56.000 Yeah, like movie stars get paid.
02:06:58.000 They get paid for being in movies, then they enjoy it.
02:07:00.000 They love it.
02:07:01.000 They're out there acting, explosions going on.
02:07:03.000 Get more with a tit out.
02:07:05.000 Yeah, let's do it.
02:07:06.000 I'm sorry.
02:07:08.000 That's where I brought it.
02:07:09.000 I'm just excited.
02:07:10.000 I'm excited we're going to rally to make this legal so that Kim and I have something to do.
02:07:17.000 It's eventually going to be legal.
02:07:19.000 You know what's interesting?
02:07:19.000 It might turn to be like a virtual thing before it becomes legal.
02:07:23.000 I've been thinking about what you were saying about the porn, the virtual porn with the headsets on being so interactive and immersive.
02:07:29.000 I'm like, yeah, of course.
02:07:31.000 That's just what's going to happen.
02:07:32.000 They're just going to figure out a way to make it.
02:07:34.000 They're going to figure out a way to stimulate your body.
02:07:36.000 That's the only thing that's missing.
02:07:37.000 Yeah.
02:07:37.000 Like once they stimulate your mind, maybe they'll be able to put you in some sort of a trance where you feel like it's stimulating your body.
02:07:43.000 We're already in a trance.
02:07:45.000 I was looking at something that they're selling really recently.
02:07:47.000 God, I'm trying to remember this because I saved it but I didn't read it.
02:07:50.000 But it was talking about some new device that's able to stimulate certain areas of the mind from the outside of your head.
02:08:00.000 They did a whole episode of Radiolab about this sort of technology a long time ago.
02:08:05.000 I want to say like two years ago, maybe.
02:08:07.000 And it was really interesting because it was about how they stimulate different parts of your scalp.
02:08:12.000 And through doing so, it allows you to remember and learn things way quicker.
02:08:17.000 Through electricity, maybe?
02:08:18.000 This is it.
02:08:19.000 Nine Volt Nirvana is the episode on Radiolab.
02:08:22.000 If you guys have never listened to Radiolab, it's fucking awesome.
02:08:26.000 It's one of the best podcasts in the world.
02:08:29.000 Nine-volt rate.
02:08:30.000 It's really interesting.
02:08:31.000 And this is one of my favorite episodes because it's about this girl.
02:08:35.000 This is how it starts off.
02:08:36.000 She works for this...
02:08:37.000 I should say woman.
02:08:38.000 She's a woman.
02:08:38.000 She has a good job.
02:08:39.000 She's educated.
02:08:40.000 Okay.
02:08:41.000 I'm sorry.
02:08:42.000 She's not a child.
02:08:43.000 I'm not good.
02:08:44.000 I say girl-boy for adults all the time.
02:08:46.000 And I should fix that.
02:08:48.000 You're right.
02:08:48.000 Yeah.
02:08:49.000 Who cares?
02:08:49.000 Her use is a nine-volt battery.
02:08:51.000 Crazy.
02:08:51.000 Yeah.
02:08:51.000 So she went there to this place that trains snipers.
02:08:55.000 This sniper skills...
02:08:58.000 And what it is is a video game, a virtual reality thing.
02:09:02.000 So you put on the headset or, you know, they take her through the thing with a gun and she shoots at all the different targets and all these different events happen in front of her.
02:09:10.000 I love that.
02:09:11.000 And when it plays out, after it's over, they tally up her score.
02:09:15.000 So she does that in a normal way and then they stimulate the outside areas of her brain.
02:09:20.000 She goes in.
02:09:22.000 It's supposed to be 20 minutes.
02:09:23.000 They end it, and she goes, why'd you guys end it so quick?
02:09:26.000 And they go, that was 20 minutes.
02:09:28.000 And she's like, what?
02:09:29.000 And then she hit every target.
02:09:31.000 Wow.
02:09:32.000 She went from being completely ineffective to being like a fucking world-class sniper.
02:09:37.000 By just them jazzing her brain up.
02:09:40.000 And she went into the zone where she didn't even know she was doing it.
02:09:43.000 So think about that.
02:09:44.000 She had never done this before.
02:09:45.000 She sucked at it just a few minutes ago.
02:09:47.000 They put these electrodes on her head.
02:09:49.000 They give it to her.
02:09:50.000 And then all of a sudden she's like...
02:09:51.000 That's interesting.
02:09:52.000 She's like a super soldier.
02:09:53.000 Is there any science to that?
02:09:55.000 I mean, is there somebody that's tested this?
02:09:57.000 Because why aren't we all just putting 9-volt batteries on our heads?
02:09:59.000 Well, they are testing it.
02:10:01.000 What is the actual term?
02:10:03.000 Transdermal electrical stimulation?
02:10:06.000 Transdermal cranial...
02:10:07.000 I have some 9-volt batteries at home.
02:10:09.000 Hold on a second.
02:10:10.000 Say it again, please.
02:10:11.000 I lost the word.
02:10:12.000 Say it again?
02:10:13.000 Transdermal cranial stimulation, I believe.
02:10:15.000 I'm trying to...
02:10:15.000 Yeah, I think that's...
02:10:16.000 Direct current stimulation.
02:10:17.000 That sounds right.
02:10:18.000 Yeah.
02:10:19.000 Wow.
02:10:20.000 So this is apparently...
02:10:21.000 There's a lot of guys who hack themselves, and they make their own little things with 9-volt batteries and shit that you could buy from Radio Shack, and they just slap little electrodes on their head and zap themselves.
02:10:31.000 Like a do-it-yourself.
02:10:33.000 Sometimes it kills their sense of smell for a week.
02:10:35.000 Oh, shit.
02:10:36.000 I cooked my sense of smell today, dude.
02:10:39.000 I'm not joking.
02:10:40.000 That's awful, but great.
02:10:41.000 But they get benefits out of it, too.
02:10:43.000 People are reporting benefits out of it.
02:10:45.000 They find a spot on the body, or the brain, rather, where they can hit it from the outside, and it makes some sort of an impact.
02:10:52.000 Mm-hmm.
02:10:52.000 Well, you think about your skull, right?
02:10:54.000 Think about your skin and your skull.
02:10:56.000 If somebody shaved a part of your head and attached some shit to the side of your head and then shot electricity into that area, like your brain is going to be affected by that.
02:11:06.000 I mean, it's right there.
02:11:07.000 It's like pounded on the outside of the brain.
02:11:10.000 There's got to be some of it that's going through, right?
02:11:13.000 There's got to be some energy that's going through.
02:11:15.000 And that brain's like, I know Kung Fu.
02:11:18.000 Oh!
02:11:20.000 Like in the Matrix?
02:11:21.000 It's interesting.
02:11:22.000 Like, maybe even, like, you could put, like, watch batteries on a molar.
02:11:26.000 So there has to be, like, another way to put it in.
02:11:27.000 You're having a skull cap that has, like, a battery attached to it that you can just wear every day or something.
02:11:32.000 Something like that, I guess.
02:11:33.000 This is exactly it.
02:11:35.000 Scroll back up, please.
02:11:36.000 Oh, I've seen this.
02:11:37.000 I've seen this.
02:11:38.000 What is it?
02:11:38.000 Hold on, stop.
02:11:39.000 Folk dot...
02:11:40.000 Hold on.
02:11:41.000 What is it doing?
02:11:43.000 Is it spazzing on you?
02:11:44.000 We gotta get a new laptop, huh?
02:11:46.000 Things get old.
02:11:47.000 Folk.us.
02:11:48.000 Folk.us.
02:11:50.000 Transcranial direct current stimulation headset helps get your game on.
02:11:54.000 Wait a minute.
02:11:55.000 Let me pause right here.
02:11:56.000 Speaking of game on.
02:11:58.000 I'm done filming my special, so we gotta get a fucking LAN party going on up in this bitch.
02:12:04.000 Now that Quake is out, I talked to the Razer people.
02:12:08.000 They're gonna hook us up with some gaming laptop.
02:12:11.000 Oh, you mean they're putting Quake back out, right?
02:12:12.000 Quake is coming back out.
02:12:13.000 This is the Quake Champions, or something it's called, I think.
02:12:16.000 It looks badass.
02:12:17.000 You mean Razer, the best PCs you can buy?
02:12:21.000 Wait, Razer's a PC? Well, it's interesting, like...
02:12:26.000 I told you that I was one of the people that helped them design their mouse in the late 90s.
02:12:32.000 Me and my friend Lou Morton, who's one of the writers of news radio, who's a super smart dude and a fucking total quakehead back in the day.
02:12:39.000 He was way better than me.
02:12:40.000 He used to beat my ass.
02:12:41.000 Like, I remember I beat his ass one time.
02:12:43.000 I was so happy.
02:12:43.000 Woo!
02:12:44.000 Most of the time he fucked me up.
02:12:46.000 He was just better at quake.
02:12:47.000 Quake was this crazy 3D video game.
02:12:50.000 This is it right here.
02:12:51.000 This is the newest version of it.
02:12:52.000 And you play in the first person, and it is fucking...
02:12:56.000 The new ones are unbelievably cool.
02:12:59.000 Like, the graphics are insane.
02:13:02.000 Like, look at this.
02:13:04.000 I mean, and the in-game footage of them actually playing the game is just magical.
02:13:11.000 Look at this shit.
02:13:12.000 Whoa.
02:13:12.000 Come on.
02:13:13.000 Why real life?
02:13:14.000 Fuck real life.
02:13:15.000 Yeah.
02:13:15.000 Real life sucked my dick.
02:13:16.000 Look at this.
02:13:17.000 This is way better than real life.
02:13:17.000 My kids would love this.
02:13:19.000 You don't have any kids.
02:13:21.000 Yeah, I do.
02:13:22.000 You can't...
02:13:22.000 They're pretend.
02:13:23.000 Oh, okay.
02:13:24.000 Whoa, see that?
02:13:25.000 Someone shot the...
02:13:26.000 Whoa.
02:13:27.000 Oh my goodness.
02:13:29.000 Eleanor, you would be so aggressive with this.
02:13:32.000 Yeah, that's...
02:13:32.000 Because I know you, like, you're so aggressive.
02:13:34.000 I have anger issues and I can't...
02:13:36.000 Well, people don't know.
02:13:37.000 We haven't told them yet.
02:13:38.000 There you are.
02:13:39.000 That's Halle Berry, bitch.
02:13:40.000 Yeah!
02:13:41.000 I want to be her.
02:13:42.000 When's this come out?
02:13:43.000 Look at these things.
02:13:43.000 I think it's out, man.
02:13:44.000 This is out?
02:13:45.000 Look at this.
02:13:46.000 So this was an old game you used to play that is now, obviously...
02:13:50.000 Well, they've significantly upgraded the graphics.
02:13:52.000 I mean, this is not really the game itself.
02:13:55.000 This is just the video game engine, though, that the game is based on.
02:13:59.000 So this is similar.
02:14:02.000 So violent.
02:14:03.000 I love it.
02:14:03.000 It's similar to the...
02:14:04.000 Some of it is like in-game real footage.
02:14:06.000 Watch this.
02:14:09.000 Dude stabbed him with a fucking chainsaw hand.
02:14:12.000 How about that?
02:14:14.000 How great would that be if you had that in real life?
02:14:16.000 Wow.
02:14:16.000 It'd be mean.
02:14:18.000 Yeah.
02:14:18.000 I'd be in a lot of trouble.
02:14:20.000 When is that out, young Jamie?
02:14:22.000 They just announced, I would guess next year, they just announced the set E3 and this is a big announcement.
02:14:29.000 God damn, that looks awesome.
02:14:30.000 I've never heard of that.
02:14:32.000 They don't even know yet.
02:14:33.000 Oh, cool.
02:14:34.000 There's that, and then there's Doom, which is out.
02:14:37.000 Yeah.
02:14:37.000 And that's what we're going to have the LAN party plan.
02:14:39.000 There's a new Doom that's based on, I think it's the same engine.
02:14:42.000 It is fucking awesome.
02:14:43.000 So, when you say, you have a, what are you saying you're going to have?
02:14:47.000 A LAN party?
02:14:47.000 LAN. Oh, local area network LAN party.
02:14:51.000 A local area network party is you get a bunch of computers, you link them all together so that you have zero ping, so there's no latency.
02:15:00.000 What that means is like when you play a game online, like at least in the older games, they're getting way better at it now and internet speeds are way higher anyway, but when you would press a button, like try to shoot, there was a delay between the time that the signal got to the server that's hosting the game.
02:15:15.000 And if you were real lucky, you had like a low ping.
02:15:17.000 Like guys had like a 30 ping or a 20 ping, and you're like, whoa, that guy's got an awesome ping.
02:15:21.000 Then it got even lower.
02:15:22.000 Some guys got cable modems and shit, and it got down to like 10. And if you were local, though, there was zero ping.
02:15:28.000 So if we were all together, and we were playing in this room, we would play against each other in this crazy 3D environment like this.
02:15:34.000 This is what we would see.
02:15:36.000 I miss doing lawn parties.
02:15:38.000 This is real in-game footage.
02:15:40.000 I mean, the in-game footage is fucking amazing.
02:15:42.000 Look at this.
02:15:43.000 This is all in-game footage.
02:15:45.000 That's cool.
02:15:46.000 And then some of it's not.
02:15:47.000 Some of it's they're mixing up, but it's dope.
02:15:50.000 I played like a weird game with my niece, Shauna.
02:15:53.000 I don't remember what it was, but there was four of us connected on the iPads.
02:15:57.000 Oh yeah, people do that too now, right?
02:15:58.000 I'm not sure what that was.
02:15:59.000 You do that with some tablets and stuff, right?
02:16:01.000 It was a tablet, yeah, yeah.
02:16:01.000 Well, they're probably doing that with Pokemons, right?
02:16:04.000 Kind of, yeah.
02:16:05.000 I mean, it's not direct-direct, person-to-person yet.
02:16:09.000 So weird.
02:16:09.000 Yeah, but it was cool.
02:16:10.000 I was like, wait, we're all connected?
02:16:12.000 Like the idiot.
02:16:13.000 Well, this is what they're going to do, man.
02:16:14.000 They're going to have these things, like these video games like Doom, and they're going to have those 3D, like virtual reality sets.
02:16:21.000 And you're going to be playing these things out there in the real world.
02:16:23.000 That's when people are going to start getting run over.
02:16:26.000 I'm going to play in the real world.
02:16:28.000 I just like to fight for real.
02:16:31.000 They're driving people around like Uber service for Pokemon right now.
02:16:36.000 Oh my god.
02:16:37.000 I'll drive you anywhere you want to go for 30 bucks.
02:16:40.000 I take Uber every day and that's one of the greatest benefits now because usually you're just sitting in the back of an Uber going, God damn it.
02:16:45.000 Hurry up.
02:16:46.000 You know, but now I was just collecting Pokemons on the way to the Comedy Store.
02:16:49.000 So did you tell the guy, hey, pull over, I gotta get a Pokemon?
02:16:52.000 No, but there was a few times where I was like, I almost wanted to say, hey, can you just go slow right here for a second?
02:16:56.000 So as you go slow, it would pick up the fact that you were there?
02:17:00.000 Yeah, it's easier to go, if you're going slow, it's easier to get things.
02:17:05.000 I thought I heard that you can't do it over 30 miles an hour, like it has some sort of...
02:17:08.000 If you can, it doesn't work.
02:17:11.000 It's harder to do.
02:17:12.000 Like when you can't do your GPS. Oh, you're the driver.
02:17:15.000 You can't be doing this while you're moving.
02:17:17.000 Right.
02:17:17.000 You say you're the passenger.
02:17:18.000 You say shut up and mind your business.
02:17:21.000 They're probably going to have to change because I feel like a lot of people are going to die and get in car accidents and there's going to be a lot of lawsuits.
02:17:26.000 So I have a feeling in the near future they're probably going to make it so if it detects that you're going a certain speed, it's just not going to let you do anything.
02:17:33.000 Did you get laid playing Pokemon Go?
02:17:36.000 Pokemon Go is great for my mental health.
02:17:38.000 I also got laid.
02:17:41.000 Pokemon got me laid.
02:17:43.000 I just got laid by telling my girl I had to go inside her to catch a Pikachu in Pokemon.
02:17:50.000 Used her as a Pokeball for the electric Pokemongo?
02:17:55.000 Pokemongo?
02:17:56.000 Pokemongo.
02:17:58.000 Jesus Christ.
02:17:59.000 That's hilarious.
02:18:01.000 What was Pokemon in the beginning?
02:18:02.000 I can't even...
02:18:03.000 I don't know anything.
02:18:04.000 It's Japanese for pocket monster, invisible monster or something.
02:18:07.000 I think it's invisible monster.
02:18:08.000 But was it a cartoon or something?
02:18:09.000 Yeah.
02:18:10.000 It was a cartoon and then it became a very successful line of video games for kids on Nintendo and Game Boys and stuff like that.
02:18:18.000 But it was really all just preparing itself for this monstrous thing.
02:18:21.000 For this moment.
02:18:22.000 But it brought it up.
02:18:23.000 I mean, it was dying out.
02:18:24.000 I should have worn my Pikachu outfit today.
02:18:27.000 I'm so happy you didn't.
02:18:28.000 Well, it's obviously raised the stock.
02:18:29.000 Would you say like $9 billion or something crazy?
02:18:31.000 Yeah, $9 billion.
02:18:32.000 I just saw someone else that said $11.
02:18:33.000 No, it went up already.
02:18:35.000 Like, it's just going.
02:18:36.000 Jesus Christ, they're going to have all the money.
02:18:37.000 Should we buy stock in it?
02:18:38.000 Nintendo has been hurting for a while, too, since Xbox and PlayStation, and this is the exact thing they needed.
02:18:45.000 This sounds like they just made a money printing machine.
02:18:48.000 That's insane.
02:18:49.000 I don't know where the money comes in, though, because it's a free game.
02:18:52.000 No, you can buy things in it, like that thing that you put down on the ground that attracts Pokemon.
02:18:57.000 Oh, those cost money.
02:18:58.000 Those things cost money.
02:18:59.000 Well, also, just the potential.
02:19:01.000 The connection that you're having.
02:19:03.000 If you all of a sudden created an app that beats Twitter, Twitter's been around forever.
02:19:08.000 If you come up with something that can beat Twitter like that...
02:19:10.000 Yeah, you can figure out how to make money on it later.
02:19:12.000 Oh, my gosh.
02:19:13.000 Snapchat just did that.
02:19:14.000 Meanwhile, I say this, but hasn't Twitter had that same exact problem?
02:19:17.000 They've had a problem like...
02:19:18.000 Monetizing now.
02:19:19.000 Yeah.
02:19:21.000 Snapchat just surpassed Twitter, and I think Twitter's on this way out, honestly.
02:19:26.000 I could see how Pokemon could set up stops where you could have places that were places of business, and you could pay to have that a stop, and people have to go in, and then a certain amount of people would just buy things there anyway.
02:19:41.000 But then you'd deal with a lot of fucking nutty people showing up at your ice cream store.
02:19:45.000 But now, wait, Twitter's on the way out?
02:19:47.000 I just learned how to tweet!
02:19:49.000 Welcome.
02:19:49.000 I can't.
02:19:51.000 That's like 15 years old.
02:19:52.000 I quit.
02:19:53.000 I can't.
02:19:54.000 I didn't even join Snapchat, quit, whatever it's called.
02:19:57.000 I tried to get all of my different possible names.
02:20:01.000 I mean, Snapchat is someone snatched up.
02:20:04.000 Are you on Snapchat?
02:20:04.000 Yeah.
02:20:05.000 It's impossible.
02:20:05.000 But I'm not really on Snapchat.
02:20:07.000 I'm only on Snapchat to use the filters to make fun.
02:20:12.000 I like the porn on there.
02:20:14.000 It's so great.
02:20:15.000 People send me some great porn.
02:20:17.000 I'm not going to say who, but this MMA fighter that he's a comedian also.
02:20:22.000 He just outed him.
02:20:23.000 He has a different girl every night that he sends me snaps of him fucking.
02:20:28.000 I've seen his dick more than I want to.
02:20:30.000 He's sending him directly to you on purpose?
02:20:32.000 Yeah.
02:20:33.000 Oh, so it goes directly to you.
02:20:35.000 Oh, he's great.
02:20:36.000 But no, the porn is great, though, on there.
02:20:38.000 Because a lot of girls use it, a lot of porn stars and stuff like that use it like, hey, if you give me so many tokens or whatever, you can get my Snapchat.
02:20:47.000 So then in their Snapchats, they're just like full-on nudity.
02:20:50.000 Because Snapchat...
02:20:52.000 Jamie, I don't know if this is correct, but isn't Snapchat owned by...
02:20:55.000 A porn company like Pornhub or somebody, a famous porn company started Snapchat because they originally wanted to say, no?
02:21:03.000 They originally wanted to have it as an app where you can show your dick and it goes away in 10 seconds.
02:21:09.000 But I swear to God, somebody told me that Pornhub is the...
02:21:11.000 The dude who started, it's only 26. I don't know that he also was involved in porn his whole life.
02:21:16.000 How dare you, Brian.
02:21:17.000 He's got my hopes up.
02:21:18.000 Somebody told me this.
02:21:19.000 It could be his early investors.
02:21:21.000 You're saying somebody told me this as if you're shocked that people are retarded.
02:21:25.000 Somebody told me this.
02:21:27.000 I can't believe it wasn't true.
02:21:29.000 Well, people could definitely get it wrong.
02:21:32.000 That's funny, though.
02:21:33.000 Whoever told me was very sure that...
02:21:36.000 Yeah, they were probably on coke.
02:21:37.000 They were coked up and they were telling you the truth.
02:21:39.000 I'm telling you, bro.
02:21:40.000 It's the fucking truth.
02:21:41.000 This is it, man.
02:21:41.000 I know my shit.
02:21:43.000 Eleanor, what happened to that pro wrestling thing you were going out for recently?
02:21:45.000 Okay, it was a script.
02:21:48.000 They haven't started casting yet.
02:21:49.000 They just put out calls for it two days ago or something like that.
02:21:53.000 People probably don't even know.
02:21:55.000 But Eleanor was one of the women of wrestling.
02:21:57.000 Wow, women of wrestling.
02:21:59.000 Easy.
02:21:59.000 Rider.
02:22:00.000 She used to crush pool balls and...
02:22:02.000 Yes.
02:22:02.000 To scare her enemies.
02:22:03.000 It was hilarious.
02:22:04.000 That was my favorite video to make.
02:22:06.000 Just to hit people and then to crush the ball.
02:22:09.000 I had so much fun.
02:22:09.000 I must have crushed like 30 balls that day just for fun.
02:22:12.000 You're the only person that I knew before they did pro wrestling that I wanted to see them do pro wrestling.
02:22:21.000 I remember you came, Dom came, Dom and Sophie came.
02:22:24.000 Yeah, we had a great time.
02:22:24.000 We brought a giant stack of people to the store.
02:22:26.000 Or from the store, rather.
02:22:28.000 Oh, who'd you get?
02:22:28.000 Which one did you get?
02:22:29.000 There she is, talking trash.
02:22:31.000 How long did you do this for?
02:22:33.000 It was on for two seasons.
02:22:35.000 That was Maria, and Julia Rossi's a comic, and Maria, I forget her last name, but they were Easy Rider fans.
02:22:40.000 How embarrassing.
02:22:48.000 Look at this.
02:22:51.000 Watch.
02:22:51.000 Oh, boy.
02:22:52.000 Mic drop.
02:22:53.000 Oh, shit.
02:22:55.000 That was when we broke Selena's leg, remember?
02:22:57.000 Yeah, and did someone break their leg accidentally?
02:23:00.000 Selena, no, she didn't hurt her leg.
02:23:04.000 She pulled a muscle.
02:23:05.000 Yeah, she pulled a muscle or something.
02:23:07.000 There she is.
02:23:08.000 Pulling a muscle.
02:23:09.000 Yeah, she had the brace, the knee brace.
02:23:12.000 She had something going on.
02:23:13.000 I can't remember.
02:23:14.000 I mean, it was part of the story, mostly.
02:23:17.000 That is a strong mullet.
02:23:18.000 Good Lord.
02:23:19.000 She was our trainer, and she is amazing.
02:23:21.000 And so was the big lady that's with me.
02:23:23.000 How long?
02:23:24.000 We did this for two seasons.
02:23:27.000 Wow.
02:23:28.000 It got canceled because we did a pay-per-view.
02:23:32.000 I can't look at that.
02:23:34.000 And they didn't make any money?
02:23:35.000 Yeah, it didn't make any money.
02:23:37.000 And it wasn't just doing well.
02:23:38.000 It just wasn't doing that well in the ratings.
02:23:40.000 But David McClain, the guy, the producer, he's bringing it back.
02:23:43.000 And he's putting it digital.
02:23:44.000 And I'm going to be an announcer.
02:23:45.000 Oh, really?
02:23:46.000 Yeah.
02:23:47.000 So, obviously, I'm not going to let them throw me around.
02:23:50.000 I could break a hip.
02:23:52.000 I still love it because they trained us to be professional stunt women, you know?
02:23:57.000 Oh, this is hilarious.
02:23:59.000 Well, it was really physical.
02:24:00.000 Yeah.
02:24:01.000 She hit me with a chair and I broke my pinky.
02:24:03.000 What was the one girl that was supposed to be like the Baywatch girl?
02:24:07.000 Oh, there was two of them.
02:24:08.000 There was a bunch of different characters, like Compton girls.
02:24:11.000 They were a little racy.
02:24:12.000 All the stereotypes.
02:24:14.000 There was one girl, I can't remember her stage name, but she basically played basketball.
02:24:21.000 Slam Dunk, that was what they called her.
02:24:23.000 Slam Dunk, I knew it was something silly.
02:24:25.000 Meanwhile, she's an amazing athlete.
02:24:29.000 I don't know if she's coming back for this one, but Jungle Girl, Erica Porter, she runs a gym.
02:24:35.000 Jungle Girl?
02:24:36.000 Her name is Jungle Girl?
02:24:38.000 Jungle Girl was one of the other characters.
02:24:41.000 That shit is not going to fly today.
02:24:43.000 That's Bronco Billy.
02:24:45.000 Lisa Daniel.
02:24:46.000 She's beautiful.
02:24:47.000 She's great.
02:24:47.000 She's from Baltimore.
02:24:49.000 Where are the summer...
02:24:51.000 Look at that mullet.
02:24:52.000 Yeah, there was Summer.
02:24:54.000 There was a bunch of different characters.
02:24:55.000 Look at Selena Majors.
02:24:56.000 Jeez Louise.
02:24:57.000 A long time ago, in the early 90s, I believe, or late 80s, there was a show called Glow, Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling, and that was the same producer.
02:25:05.000 And they're the ones that have a script out called Glow, and Netflix bought it.
02:25:10.000 Caged Heat?
02:25:11.000 That's not racist.
02:25:12.000 Oh, that's right.
02:25:13.000 Property of the State.
02:25:14.000 What does it say?
02:25:16.000 Yes.
02:25:16.000 Oh my god.
02:25:17.000 Property of the state prison.
02:25:19.000 These girls in orange jumpsuits.
02:25:21.000 Every one of those girls is so talented.
02:25:22.000 Like, great athlete.
02:25:23.000 Amazing stunt.
02:25:24.000 They really are strong.
02:25:26.000 So they did it for two years.
02:25:28.000 We did it for two years, yeah.
02:25:30.000 And how many shows?
02:25:31.000 Like, how many shows a year would you do?
02:25:34.000 That must be the new cast.
02:25:36.000 That must be the newer one.
02:25:37.000 Yeah, because there's Lana and all the girls.
02:25:39.000 Erica Porter is so strong.
02:25:41.000 I love her.
02:25:42.000 And Elle, her name was Danger.
02:25:44.000 She's like a professional stunt person that does movies, everything.
02:25:49.000 But yeah, so we did, I forget how many shows, but it was at the Forum, which was amazing, in Inglewood.
02:25:54.000 Yeah.
02:25:54.000 So we would train at the Forum and we'd be running around jogging.
02:25:57.000 And Michael Cooper would be, he was the coach of the Sparks at the time.
02:26:02.000 So like Lisa Leslie and them would be down there.
02:26:04.000 We did the UFC there recently.
02:26:05.000 Oh, that's awesome.
02:26:06.000 Isn't it such a great place?
02:26:07.000 I mean, it's a giant facility.
02:26:09.000 It's amazing.
02:26:10.000 And then on the walls, it has all the different people that have played there every year.
02:26:14.000 Yeah.
02:26:14.000 And how many times they played.
02:26:16.000 Was my name up there?
02:26:17.000 Holy shit.
02:26:17.000 Weird.
02:26:17.000 No.
02:26:18.000 Oh.
02:26:19.000 No.
02:26:19.000 No.
02:26:20.000 I think Dice's name is up there, though.
02:26:22.000 Oh, yeah.
02:26:22.000 Dice did the form.
02:26:23.000 That's right.
02:26:24.000 Yeah.
02:26:24.000 It was filled with legendary musicians, though.
02:26:28.000 When you're walking down the hall and you're reading how many times Queen was there.
02:26:32.000 Yeah.
02:26:32.000 Yeah, it's amazing.
02:26:34.000 That's a great spot.
02:26:35.000 I mean, I was honored to be...
02:26:38.000 Yeah, there it is.
02:26:39.000 That's all from my Instagram.
02:26:41.000 Stevie Wonder, Dewey Brothers.
02:26:42.000 Easy Rider, Alice Cooper.
02:26:45.000 The Kinks.
02:26:46.000 It's crazy.
02:26:47.000 And this is like Elton John four times in a year.
02:26:50.000 Ka-ching!
02:26:53.000 Just...
02:26:54.000 crazy.
02:26:57.000 David Bowie.
02:26:58.000 Man, wild shit.
02:27:01.000 Those places are so interesting to me because these old, old venues, they're almost like a museum as well as being a place where you see a show.
02:27:11.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:27:13.000 I mean, so much went on in that place.
02:27:15.000 You could feel it even being in there during the day.
02:27:17.000 I was so honored.
02:27:19.000 I know we were just wrestling, whatever, but it was a big deal to me to be a part of that.
02:27:23.000 Well, that's one of the reasons why I think the Comedy Store has to get some sort of historic designation.
02:27:29.000 They should.
02:27:30.000 We've tried to get that.
02:27:32.000 I remember doing that.
02:27:33.000 It should happen.
02:27:34.000 Because that place is historic.
02:27:36.000 It's like a museum.
02:27:37.000 I mean, it really is.
02:27:38.000 From the pictures on the walls to just the feel of the place and how important that is for one particular art form.
02:27:46.000 That place is like a fucking museum.
02:27:48.000 Like a living, breathing, awesome, you-can-go-to-it-right-now museum.
02:27:53.000 I feel like we tried to get it as a landmark or something like that, but it didn't work because...
02:27:58.000 There's too many bodies underneath.
02:28:00.000 Like the Chinese Theater.
02:28:02.000 Wouldn't you think that that place needs to stay around?
02:28:05.000 Man's Chinese Theater?
02:28:06.000 That's historic, right?
02:28:07.000 I would imagine it should be.
02:28:09.000 It has to be.
02:28:10.000 They should try to do it before Mitzi passes so it can't get torn down.
02:28:17.000 Well, that was the whole thing, yeah.
02:28:18.000 When I was her personal assistant, we tried to get all kinds of stuff like that done because they were coming after us for different things, like not being up to date on certain codes, laws, and things.
02:28:29.000 And then we were grandfathered in from a lot of them, and we got away with a lot of them.
02:28:33.000 So it was weird, but I remember trying to get that, and I don't know if they ever followed through with that.
02:28:38.000 I'll have to find that out.
02:28:40.000 Check it out.
02:28:41.000 But they definitely should.
02:28:42.000 You're right.
02:28:42.000 Yeah.
02:28:43.000 Obviously, because it was there way longer than Ciro's.
02:28:46.000 Ciro's was a hotspot back in the day.
02:28:50.000 That was where Lucille Ball hung and all that.
02:28:52.000 The main room, that was a big deal to Hollywood, too.
02:28:56.000 But I don't know how long that was open.
02:28:58.000 Maybe only...
02:29:00.000 Five, eight years.
02:29:01.000 Ten years, maybe?
02:29:03.000 Yeah, but there's so many pictures of Marilyn Monroe and all these people.
02:29:06.000 No, it's giant.
02:29:06.000 It should be historic.
02:29:08.000 Sammy Davis Jr., Frank Sinatra, they would play there on the weekend, like a regular thing.
02:29:12.000 But with that logic, then it should have never been allowed to become a comedy store.
02:29:16.000 That's what I'm saying.
02:29:17.000 I'm not sure what the etiquette is.
02:29:20.000 I don't remember what that part...
02:29:21.000 Yeah, how long was it, Ciro's?
02:29:23.000 I'll have to figure that out.
02:29:24.000 Not too long, I don't think.
02:29:25.000 Couldn't have been nearly as long as it was the store, right?
02:29:27.000 No, no, no.
02:29:27.000 No, but she got the original room first, right?
02:29:30.000 And then she bought the main room later.
02:29:32.000 So when she bought the main room, what she bought it for was she loved that cereals thing, that vibe, you know, like the big bands and stuff like that.
02:29:40.000 So she would have Buddy Rich on the weekends at the comedy store playing, like his band.
02:29:48.000 And I remember like Dice going, um...
02:29:50.000 Seventeen years.
02:29:51.000 Oh, shoot.
02:29:52.000 Serials was seventeen years.
02:29:53.000 Yeah, opened in 1940 and closed in 1947. Hmm.
02:29:58.000 Transformed into a rock and roll club in the early sixties.
02:30:00.000 Because he bought it.
02:30:00.000 Called The Boss.
02:30:01.000 What was the guy's name that bought it?
02:30:02.000 Oh, it's Boss.
02:30:03.000 Became the Comedy Store in 1972. He was a DJ. Look at that fucking neon sign.
02:30:07.000 Look how cool that is.
02:30:08.000 Yeah, we have that.
02:30:09.000 Wow.
02:30:09.000 We have the neon sign?
02:30:11.000 I think so.
02:30:11.000 Where?
02:30:11.000 In the basement.
02:30:12.000 Holy shit.
02:30:13.000 I was in the basement the other day looking at all this stuff.
02:30:15.000 That's where we do the Comedy Store podcast, in the basement.
02:30:18.000 Basement?
02:30:18.000 They have that thing there?
02:30:21.000 Maybe I'm thinking of the big round one we have in the kitchen.
02:30:25.000 The big round one from the kitchen is amazing.
02:30:28.000 All that was in the basement when she bought it from the DJ. What was the DJ's name?
02:30:33.000 I can't think of his name.
02:30:34.000 He ran the main room.
02:30:35.000 He owned that.
02:30:36.000 She bought it from him.
02:30:37.000 That's incredible.
02:30:38.000 Yeah, so and that was 78 or I'm sorry not so 70 72 and then yeah around there like 76 76 maybe Wow she bought the main room and that became it's just a weird like for like four years awesome piece of history yeah you know like there's like just a few spots like that in In all of entertainment,
02:31:01.000 where so many things were created out of that one area.
02:31:03.000 Yeah.
02:31:04.000 I mean, it's not like a whole lot of those spots.
02:31:07.000 They're important.
02:31:08.000 She wanted me to help her write a book.
02:31:09.000 And I was thinking, wow, Mitzi wanted me to help her write a book.
02:31:12.000 And I was like, wow, that would be so amazing.
02:31:14.000 I can't barely read a book, but I'll try.
02:31:16.000 Because I was so into the comedy store.
02:31:19.000 And then what she really wanted to make was a coffee table book from all the stuff in Vegas.
02:31:26.000 So, because Vegas, she did go there in the Dunes Hotel for a while.
02:31:31.000 Yeah.
02:31:32.000 Yeah, there were some great footage, pictures.
02:31:35.000 She has audio.
02:31:36.000 Well, they used to have Westwood, too.
02:31:37.000 Westwood, yeah.
02:31:38.000 Westwood was a big one, apparently.
02:31:39.000 That was all before my time.
02:31:41.000 Yeah, me too.
02:31:42.000 But Westwood, apparently, was where guys would develop.
02:31:44.000 So, like, they sent Kinison and those guys down there.
02:31:46.000 They would develop at Westwood, and then they would come over to Hollywood once they'd already got their feet under them.
02:31:51.000 Yep.
02:31:52.000 Yeah, Dice has a lot of stories.
02:31:54.000 Ronnie, Kenny, all those older guys I would talk to, they would always tell Westwood stories.
02:31:57.000 I'd be like, what?
02:31:58.000 What are you talking about?
02:31:59.000 But it was cool.
02:32:00.000 There it is.
02:32:01.000 There they are.
02:32:01.000 Comedy Store West.
02:32:02.000 Wow.
02:32:03.000 That's so cool.
02:32:04.000 Look at Jay Leno.
02:32:06.000 Yeah.
02:32:06.000 He looks so fresh.
02:32:08.000 So fresh and so clean.
02:32:09.000 Look at him.
02:32:09.000 Who's that guy?
02:32:09.000 Look how cute Mitts is.
02:32:10.000 Who are the other guys?
02:32:12.000 Good question.
02:32:13.000 I'm going to have to look.
02:32:13.000 Looks like Billy...
02:32:17.000 Is that Rick Wright?
02:32:18.000 He was just on Marc Maron's podcast.
02:32:21.000 Billy.
02:32:22.000 Billy West?
02:32:23.000 The skinnier guy.
02:32:25.000 I can't think of his name.
02:32:26.000 He did a cartoon.
02:32:27.000 Billy West?
02:32:28.000 No?
02:32:29.000 You already asked that.
02:32:30.000 I asked it again.
02:32:31.000 Maybe she didn't hear.
02:32:32.000 Look at Robin Williams.
02:32:33.000 Oh, he's doing Dwarf on Golf.
02:32:36.000 He's so cute.
02:32:39.000 Man.
02:32:39.000 And then, of course, La Jolla, which is real similar as well.
02:32:43.000 It's just a strange place that people get sent down there, like guys that are coming up.
02:32:49.000 It's an awesome club.
02:32:50.000 I got lucky with Tommy booking me in La Jolla a lot to develop when I first started, like sending me down as an opener.
02:32:58.000 And I was just so broke.
02:32:59.000 I was like, yeah, I'll take, you know, like it was exciting.
02:33:02.000 It was like 700 bucks just to host for the weekend.
02:33:05.000 You're like, this is awesome.
02:33:06.000 And so, yeah, I go down a lot.
02:33:09.000 So I got like, I fell in love with that club.
02:33:11.000 It was a beautiful place.
02:33:12.000 As a comic, yeah.
02:33:13.000 And that condo.
02:33:13.000 Yeah.
02:33:14.000 Nick DiPaolo did a comedy special there, or a CD. Well, he did.
02:33:19.000 Oh, he's so funny.
02:33:21.000 One of my favorites.
02:33:22.000 One time, I was a talent coordinator for a week, because Mitzi was going crazy, and people were quitting, whatever.
02:33:29.000 There was nonsense happening, so she was like, I need somebody in there.
02:33:32.000 So I was taking avails and stuff, and I noticed that Nick DiPaolo didn't call in.
02:33:36.000 This is when he used to live in LA. So I called him, and I'm like, hey, do you have any avails this week?
02:33:40.000 He goes...
02:33:42.000 I call in if I have avails.
02:33:43.000 You don't call me.
02:33:44.000 And he hung up on me.
02:33:46.000 I was so mad.
02:33:48.000 That's neat to borrow for you.
02:33:49.000 Yeah, but those are my favorite comics.
02:33:51.000 I would call them and see them.
02:33:52.000 Eleanor, where are you at next?
02:33:53.000 Because I've got to close this thing out.
02:33:54.000 Okay, let's close it up.
02:33:55.000 I am at the La Jolla Comedy Store, July 22nd and the 23rd.
02:34:00.000 And then I'm doing July 30th with Dice at the Ford Amphitheater in Cody Island.
02:34:05.000 That's going to be a big one.
02:34:06.000 I'm excited to be featuring for him there.
02:34:08.000 Dice and Coney Island.
02:34:09.000 Coney Island Amphitheater.
02:34:11.000 Wow.
02:34:12.000 But La Jolla, I'm excited.
02:34:13.000 It's the 22nd, 23rd.
02:34:15.000 Beautiful.
02:34:15.000 Who are you working with down there?
02:34:17.000 I'm headlining.
02:34:18.000 But I mean, who are you working with?
02:34:19.000 Do you know?
02:34:19.000 Jean Pompa was on the show.
02:34:21.000 Oh, okay.
02:34:21.000 Cool.
02:34:22.000 And I forget who else.
02:34:23.000 That's terrible.
02:34:24.000 I don't know who's up, but I love Jean Pompa.
02:34:26.000 Headlining at the Comedy Store in La Jolla.
02:34:28.000 I love it.
02:34:29.000 That's awesome.
02:34:30.000 Congratulations.
02:34:30.000 Yeah, it's very exciting.
02:34:31.000 Alright folks, that's it.
02:34:32.000 If you want to get a hold of Eleanor and send her pictures of your dick.
02:34:35.000 Oh yeah, and listen to the Comedy Store podcast.
02:34:37.000 Yes, listen to the Comedy Store podcast.
02:34:38.000 And what's your Twitter?
02:34:41.000 EJKerrigan.
02:34:42.000 And Instagram.
02:34:44.000 Do you got an Instagram?
02:34:44.000 Yeah, same thing.
02:34:45.000 EJKerrigan or Eleanor Kerrigan.
02:34:47.000 Eleanor J. Kerrigan is my website.
02:34:48.000 And Brian Redband on Twitter and Instagram and DeathSquad.tv for comedy shows.
02:34:57.000 Got anything coming up?
02:34:58.000 Irvine Improv tomorrow and Friday Ice House.
02:35:01.000 Nice!
02:35:02.000 Beautiful Irvine Improv.
02:35:03.000 Awesome.
02:35:04.000 So beautiful.
02:35:04.000 So is the Ice House, obviously.
02:35:06.000 Alright, fuckers.
02:35:06.000 See you later.
02:35:07.000 Thank you.