The Joe Rogan Experience - July 29, 2016


Joe Rogan Experience #827 - Twitter Q&A with Joe


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 46 minutes

Words per Minute

159.81793

Word Count

16,970

Sentence Count

1,307

Misogynist Sentences

31


Summary

Joe Rogan talks about his upcoming comedy tour and how much money you should be saving by switching to a cell phone service company. Also, he talks about how much he would like to become a Freemason and why he doesn t think it s a good idea. Joe Rogan is a stand-up comedian from Los Angeles, California. He has been in comedy for over 20 years and is one of the funniest people I've ever met. He is also a good friend of mine and I think he's a very funny guy. I hope you enjoy this episode of Rogan's Rogan and Rogan, and if you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! You can also join the Rogan & Rogan FB group and become a supporter of the podcast by going to Rogan.fm/RoganRogan and supporting the podcast. You'll get access to all the latest Rogan + Rogan content, including comedy, interviews, tips, and interviews with some of my favorite comedians. If you like the Rogans and Rogans, please consider becoming a patron patron! Thank you so much for supporting this podcast and supporting it! Ragan.fm is a great resource for all things Rogan! and Rogan.fm. Rogan is a place to find out what's going on in the world of comedy, comedy, music, and social media, and everything else going on the road and in the streets of Los Angeles. . . . and everywhere else in between. Rogan & Rogan's podcasting. - Rogan - The Rogan Rogan ROGAN is a podcast by Rogan s podcast by Rogan s podcast is . is a . Rogan and Ragan is in this episode is , , Rogan rogan , and rogan s by & ROGRAN (Rogan s Podcasts by . , and rogan_s ) And much more JORDAN Rogan has a new album coming soon! , JOSEPH Rogan gets a new ad on his new album comes out soon. JOSAN RANAN RAGAN s new album is coming out on the 19th July 2019.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Hey ya fuckers!
00:00:02.000 What's going on everybody?
00:00:03.000 Um, comedy dates I got coming on.
00:00:06.000 September the 9th I am going to be at the Masonic Auditorium in Cleveland.
00:00:13.000 I'm pretty sure Joey Diaz is doing that with me.
00:00:17.000 He said he wanted to.
00:00:19.000 I have to confirm.
00:00:20.000 But September 9th, I'm definitely going to be there at the Masonic Auditorium.
00:00:24.000 No, it doesn't mean I had to become a Freemason.
00:00:27.000 But Masonic Auditorium, Cleveland, September 9th.
00:00:29.000 JoeRogan.net forward slash tour.
00:00:32.000 And also, next Friday, the 5th of August, I'm going to be at the Ice House in Pasadena.
00:00:40.000 I don't have the lineup yet, but a bunch of local guys, a bunch of awesome comics from the Hlochengeles area.
00:00:49.000 And, all right, ads.
00:00:54.000 What do I got left?
00:00:55.000 ZipRecruiter.
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00:03:51.000 This is the last one.
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00:04:00.000 Ring, Ting.
00:04:02.000 Ting, ring.
00:04:04.000 Ting is the official cell phone provider for the podcast.
00:04:08.000 If you go to rogan.ting.com, you can find out what Ting is all about.
00:04:12.000 What Ting is, is a cell phone company that buys time on the Sprint and the T-Mobile backbone.
00:04:19.000 So there's two different types of signals when it comes to cell phones.
00:04:22.000 There's CDMA, which is Verizon and Sprint, and then there's GSM, which is T-Mobile and AT&T. And with Ting, you don't have to become a part of these big corporations' companies to use their backbone.
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00:05:10.000 $440 is the average annual savings per device for a business with 11 to 20 employees.
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00:06:02.000 That's rogan.ting.com.
00:06:04.000 And we're done.
00:06:05.000 This episode is with just me.
00:06:09.000 I'm alone in a hotel room.
00:06:11.000 I was supposed to do an episode with my pal Duncan Trussell, but Duncan Trussell caught what is being referred to as the nerd flu.
00:06:21.000 Apparently, when people go to Comic-Con every year, they get what they call the nerd flu.
00:06:26.000 And what the nerd flu is, is people that are like, I guess, either they don't get out much, and when they do get out, their immune systems are severely compromised, and these fucking...
00:06:38.000 Bugs just run rampant through this sea of dorks.
00:06:42.000 Something like that.
00:06:43.000 Or maybe it's just a factor of having so many people in a room together.
00:06:49.000 Or so many people in groups together.
00:06:51.000 I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
00:06:53.000 But Duncan's sick of shit.
00:06:54.000 That's my point.
00:06:55.000 So Duncan couldn't make it today, but he will be back on Monday.
00:06:58.000 So what I did was I put up some questions.
00:07:02.000 I put up a post on Twitter and let people ask me questions.
00:07:07.000 And I answered a few of them.
00:07:09.000 And so that's this podcast.
00:07:11.000 I hope you enjoy it.
00:07:13.000 Please welcome me.
00:07:18.000 All right, ladies and gentlemen.
00:07:27.000 So, I am in a hotel room right now in Atlanta, Georgia.
00:07:33.000 And I almost didn't make it to Atlanta.
00:07:37.000 I almost accidentally went to Chicago.
00:07:39.000 I've been traveling so much lately, I literally forgot where I was going.
00:07:44.000 I don't think you're supposed to say literally there.
00:07:46.000 Actually, I actually forgot where I was going.
00:07:50.000 I went to the gate at American Airlines, and when they call first class, all the first class people are like, ooh, that's me, everybody else has to wait.
00:07:59.000 Well, I was one of those assholes, and I went up to the gate and gave the lady my phone, because it's in your phone, they scan your phone, and she puts it down, I go, she goes, sir, this is for Atlanta, and I look up and the plane was going to Chicago,
00:08:16.000 and I was like, oh, dummy.
00:08:20.000 So that was me.
00:08:21.000 I was one of those guys in a big rush to get on the plane that I'm not even supposed to be on.
00:08:26.000 But I made it here.
00:08:28.000 I love Atlanta.
00:08:29.000 Atlanta's a badass place.
00:08:30.000 It's a fun town.
00:08:31.000 I did a special here in 2012. I just always enjoyed it here.
00:08:35.000 It's a good city.
00:08:36.000 It's an unusual city.
00:08:37.000 It's very, I don't know, it's got its own thing.
00:08:40.000 But a lot of cities are like that.
00:08:42.000 A lot of cities have their own thing.
00:08:44.000 I'm sitting here in my hotel room.
00:08:46.000 I was going to do a podcast on the plane, and I put it out on Twitter.
00:08:51.000 I said, you know, if you've got any questions, I'll answer them.
00:08:54.000 And I was thinking about doing it on the plane because the plane had Wi-Fi, but there was this lady behind me with her kid.
00:09:01.000 Oh, my God.
00:09:03.000 Some people just don't fucking pay attention to their kid.
00:09:08.000 They just don't.
00:09:10.000 They just don't.
00:09:11.000 They just don't do anything.
00:09:13.000 Her kid was going fucking crazy.
00:09:15.000 First of all, he was kicking the back of my seat constantly, just kicking it.
00:09:21.000 Not like putting his feet up and resting, just thump, thump, thump, thump.
00:09:25.000 He's a cute little guy.
00:09:27.000 He's a little tiny fella.
00:09:28.000 He's probably only maybe two or three at the most.
00:09:32.000 And I really like kids.
00:09:35.000 Maybe I would have been irritated if I didn't have kids.
00:09:37.000 I probably would have been.
00:09:39.000 But what was irritating was the lady was ignoring him.
00:09:44.000 And she was laying there with her eyes closed.
00:09:47.000 She was a big fat lady.
00:09:48.000 And her kids going, Mama!
00:09:50.000 Mama!
00:09:50.000 Mama!
00:09:52.000 Mama!
00:09:52.000 Mama!
00:09:53.000 I mean, yelling.
00:09:55.000 And finally, I sat up and I turned around and looked at her.
00:09:59.000 And she looked at me like there was something wrong with me.
00:10:01.000 I was like, bitch, talk to your fucking kid.
00:10:04.000 He's screaming at you and you're ignoring him.
00:10:06.000 Some people just decide that because they have to deal with the burden of taking care of a kid and kids, they have a short attention span.
00:10:16.000 They want your attention when they want it.
00:10:18.000 They don't want to wait.
00:10:20.000 They don't have any patience.
00:10:21.000 They're fucking babies.
00:10:22.000 It's a two, three-year-old baby.
00:10:26.000 And she just wasn't having it.
00:10:28.000 She thought she should be able to just relax and that everybody else I guess she just didn't take any consideration at all.
00:10:37.000 All the other people around her while her kid is fucking screaming.
00:10:41.000 She's just laying there with her hands folded in her belly.
00:10:45.000 She had like this fat belly.
00:10:47.000 Her hands were laying on top of her fat belly and it wasn't pregnant.
00:10:51.000 I don't think.
00:10:53.000 She had three kids there.
00:10:54.000 She might have been just really into dick.
00:10:56.000 She might have had another baby on the way.
00:10:58.000 I think she was just fat.
00:10:59.000 I'm just going to guess she was fat.
00:11:02.000 And this fucking kid was screaming in her face and she just kept her eyes closed.
00:11:07.000 I was like, God damn it.
00:11:09.000 Pay attention to your fucking kid, lady.
00:11:12.000 But it was pretty evident right away.
00:11:15.000 There was no way I was going to be able to get a podcast going and just talk into it without this kid screaming in the background.
00:11:23.000 Which, I mean, might have been funny.
00:11:25.000 I don't know.
00:11:26.000 More likely it would have been annoying.
00:11:32.000 So I didn't do it, but I'm here in my hotel room right now.
00:11:39.000 It's 5.20 and I have a show tonight at 8 o'clock.
00:11:43.000 So I got a couple hours here to kill.
00:11:46.000 So I figured I'll do it here.
00:11:47.000 And I was going to have my friend Ian McCall on.
00:11:51.000 Ian's been on the podcast before.
00:11:53.000 He's been on Fight Companions before.
00:11:56.000 And he's one of the UFC's top flyweight contenders.
00:11:59.000 He was scheduled to fight tomorrow.
00:12:02.000 But his opponent, Justin Scoggins, did not make weight.
00:12:06.000 It's very unfortunate because Justin is a very, very talented guy, and I was looking forward to watching that fight.
00:12:12.000 It would have been a really interesting fight.
00:12:14.000 One of the big fights on the card that I was looking forward to.
00:12:19.000 But, so Ian wound up training for six weeks and weighing in all for nothing.
00:12:26.000 He decided to weigh in anyway, just to prove a point.
00:12:29.000 He fights at flyweight, which is 125 pounds, which is, it's a brutal cut.
00:12:35.000 I think he probably walks around somewhere around 150, if I had to guess, and he's got a cut all the way down to 125. And he just decided to do it anyway, just to make a point, because he's a professional.
00:12:49.000 So hopefully we'll do a podcast later with Ian.
00:12:53.000 You know what?
00:12:53.000 While I'm doing this, I'm doing this on my iPhone.
00:12:56.000 Whoops.
00:12:57.000 I'm doing this on my iPhone, and I realize while I'm doing it that I do not have airplane mode on.
00:13:03.000 Now I do.
00:13:04.000 So people can't call me.
00:13:05.000 Because I think if somebody calls you, the recording just stops.
00:13:10.000 So, it's ongoing now, folks.
00:13:12.000 And it's sitting here.
00:13:14.000 My mic stand is a Diet Coke can.
00:13:17.000 And so I'm going to read some of this shit that people...
00:13:21.000 The questions people asked on the Twitter.
00:13:26.000 So I'm here, I'm doing the Laughing Skull in Atlanta tonight for two shows.
00:13:31.000 It's a cool little room.
00:13:33.000 But when I say little room, I mean it's fucking tiny.
00:13:35.000 I think it seats 80 people.
00:13:39.000 And I was just here a couple months ago for the Tabernacle.
00:13:44.000 I was at the Tabernacle Theater, which is a big-ass place.
00:13:47.000 And I just decided, like, I don't really have that much new material because really I was working on just tightening down all the material that I had for my special.
00:13:57.000 And once I recorded the special, now I'm in sort of like a...
00:14:04.000 I guess you would call it subject acquisition mode where I sort of sit around and try to figure out what I'm going to expand upon, like what ideas I'm going to start planting and then try to make them grow on stage.
00:14:17.000 This is the scary part of doing stand-up.
00:14:21.000 Obviously it's not scary, but this is the most troublesome or nerve-wracking or exciting.
00:14:29.000 It's the most exciting time of stand-up.
00:14:31.000 The most exciting is certainly the actual filming of a special.
00:14:35.000 That's very exciting.
00:14:36.000 And the idea that it's done, and okay, I did that material the best justice I could do, and now I'm going to release it.
00:14:45.000 And then the most exciting part after that is this period that I'm at right now where I don't have shit.
00:14:52.000 I don't have any new material.
00:14:54.000 I have a bunch of subjects.
00:14:56.000 I have a bunch of ideas that I wrote down on my phone.
00:14:59.000 I have a bunch of subjects that I talked about.
00:15:02.000 On stage a few times, but they never really became bits, and I will eventually piece those out, and I'll put those up on a corkboard with index cards.
00:15:12.000 I take index cards, and I write the subjects down, and I slap them up on a corkboard so I can look at them in my office.
00:15:20.000 And I've got a few of those, but man, this is about as fresh and embryonic a state as my stand-up is ever in.
00:15:29.000 It's...
00:15:31.000 There's a period that I've been, over the last few years, I've been doing it every two years.
00:15:35.000 Every two years seems to be a good number for me.
00:15:37.000 I guess I could probably do a new hour every year, but I don't think it would be at its best.
00:15:43.000 And some of those bits, they get better as time goes on.
00:15:47.000 And I would love to have what I think is as close to the finished version as I can before I release it.
00:15:55.000 So two years seems to be the time.
00:15:58.000 And so there's this period where you sort of slam down the samurai sword.
00:16:05.000 You hammer it down, get it to the best edge that you can get it to, and then throw it all away and start from scratch.
00:16:14.000 So that's where I'm at, yo.
00:16:17.000 So these kind of podcasts probably help.
00:16:20.000 Subject matter is...
00:16:25.000 It's just up in the air.
00:16:26.000 I mean, I don't know what the fuck I'm gonna talk about.
00:16:28.000 So let me get to some of these questions.
00:16:29.000 I'm kind of rambling here.
00:16:32.000 Let's see what we got here.
00:16:35.000 How can we help Governor Gary Johnson grow on social media, et cetera?
00:16:39.000 That's a good question.
00:16:40.000 Governor Gary Johnson, I should tell you guys this.
00:16:44.000 Former governor.
00:16:45.000 Are you always a governor?
00:16:46.000 It's like, you know, they say President Carter, like Jimmy Carter's obviously not the president anymore, but they still call him President Carter.
00:16:54.000 I don't know how that works.
00:16:55.000 But what I do know is that he will be on the podcast next Thursday with Doug Stanhope.
00:17:04.000 So Gary Johnson and Doug Stanhope together.
00:17:07.000 Because Doug has an idea, a great idea that we're going to announce on the podcast.
00:17:12.000 I guess I could kind of announce it now or talk about it now.
00:17:16.000 Doug's idea is to do a live podcast during election night, an election night coverage podcast, and do a series of podcasts actually live from the Comedy Store.
00:17:29.000 So the idea is we get a bunch of different guys who have podcasts and gals and whoever signs up for it, whoever we decide to have on it.
00:17:38.000 But I believe Bill Burr's in, I believe Marc Maron's in.
00:17:41.000 Doug's in, I'm in, and what we're going to do is we're going to do these podcasts live, and either we'll all be on stage at the Comedy Store at the same time, or we'll mix it up and we'll have shifts or something like that.
00:17:57.000 I think it's probably going to be as informal as possible.
00:18:04.000 So that's the deal.
00:18:05.000 I'm uncomfortable here because I'm sitting down this weird way where I'm trying to lean into this microphone.
00:18:11.000 And I think when you get too close to these things, it picks up a bunch of pops.
00:18:15.000 So let me see if there's a better way to...
00:18:18.000 I want to change the volume of this.
00:18:22.000 Here's another question.
00:18:23.000 So that's the answer to that.
00:18:24.000 How can you help Gary Johnson?
00:18:27.000 I think a lot of word of mouth, just talking about it, tweeting about it.
00:18:32.000 People will read your tweets, even if it's only a couple people, they'll tweet it out, it spreads.
00:18:38.000 Tweet anything that you find that's interesting, interviews of his, maybe my interview that I did with him on the podcast, other stuff that you can find of him on YouTube.
00:18:48.000 He's the most reasonable guy, in my opinion, running for president.
00:18:53.000 And people don't take him seriously because he's a libertarian, It's either Democrat or Republican or waste your vote.
00:18:59.000 That's like the mindset that we have here in this country.
00:19:02.000 I think that this election is probably going to change a lot of that.
00:19:07.000 I think that what we're looking at right now is probably one of the worst cases of, I don't want to say the lesser of two evil.
00:19:19.000 I just, I don't like it.
00:19:21.000 I don't think you like it.
00:19:22.000 I don't think anybody likes it.
00:19:24.000 I don't think That what we're being offered right now is the best options available.
00:19:31.000 I think it's the only options because I think the job sucks.
00:19:33.000 I think nobody wants that job.
00:19:35.000 Gary Johnson apparently wants it.
00:19:38.000 It's a fucked up job.
00:19:39.000 I don't want to sit here and dwell on politics and talk politics with everybody, but it just to me is one of the most depressing times ever.
00:19:48.000 For picking a president.
00:19:51.000 Steven Crowder from Louder with Crowder, he's been on my podcast before.
00:19:55.000 He just put a video on YouTube about all the reasons why you shouldn't vote for Hillary Clinton.
00:20:02.000 And he details all the different times she's been caught lying.
00:20:08.000 And not just lying about little shit, lying about big, crazy shit, like the origin of her name.
00:20:15.000 She said that she was named after someone who was the first guy to climb Mount Everest.
00:20:22.000 But something like that?
00:20:24.000 Someone who climbed Mount Everest?
00:20:25.000 Not that.
00:20:26.000 I don't remember what it was.
00:20:27.000 Anyway, it turns out the guy who she was claiming she was named after did what she was claiming he did when she was six.
00:20:38.000 So, there's no fucking way that's true.
00:20:41.000 She lied about that.
00:20:43.000 She lied about a bunch of things.
00:20:44.000 She lied about Benghazi being motivated by a video.
00:20:49.000 I don't know if you guys remember that, but there was a video.
00:20:53.000 That someone put on YouTube that it was some video about Islam and it was really bad.
00:21:02.000 It was like a terrible, terrible movie.
00:21:05.000 Some like ridiculously bad, like amateur shitbag movie.
00:21:11.000 And the word was, the word on the street for a while, was that that movie was the motivation behind the attacks on Benghazi.
00:21:20.000 And it's total horseshit.
00:21:21.000 And it was what the narrative was, though, for a while.
00:21:25.000 And, I mean, maybe Hillary Clinton didn't know any better.
00:21:30.000 But either way, it's an interesting video to watch if you want to...
00:21:36.000 Watch this video and decide why you don't want to vote for Hillary.
00:21:40.000 But there's plenty of videos out there that'll let you know why you shouldn't vote for Donald Trump either.
00:21:45.000 I mean, the fuck am I rambling about here?
00:21:48.000 I'm being political.
00:21:50.000 Let me have a cup of coffee here.
00:21:52.000 So that's the answer.
00:21:54.000 Gary Johnson, if you just tell people you enjoy his...
00:21:58.000 He's a fucking reasonable guy.
00:22:00.000 I hung out with a guy.
00:22:01.000 I shot pool with him.
00:22:02.000 He's very reasonable.
00:22:07.000 Could he survive the barrage of the trumpets?
00:22:11.000 What are they called?
00:22:12.000 The Trumpkins?
00:22:13.000 The guys who are really into Trump?
00:22:14.000 I don't know.
00:22:15.000 That's a fucking weapon he's got.
00:22:17.000 It's like back when Opie and Anthony had the pests.
00:22:20.000 They would turn the pests on them, but then eventually the pests turned on them.
00:22:24.000 It's interesting.
00:22:26.000 So that's the Gary Johnson answer.
00:22:29.000 Who's fatter, Tom Segura or Bert Kreischer?
00:22:32.000 That's a very good question.
00:22:34.000 It's a very good question.
00:22:35.000 I don't know if you realize this, but two of my very good friends, Tom Segura and Bert Kreischer, they're both hilarious guys, and they have decided to do this thing where they're calling each other fat.
00:22:49.000 They're both, I love them both to death, but they could both lose a couple of pounds.
00:22:54.000 They could both lose a little.
00:22:55.000 And they've just decided to have this public thing where it's like hashtag bird is fat, hashtag Thomas fat.
00:23:05.000 I'm going to move my phone to this new thing.
00:23:08.000 Ooh, that's better.
00:23:10.000 And so they sell t-shirts like hashtag Thomas fat and hashtag bird is fat t-shirts and All the proceeds for the sales of those go directly to them.
00:23:20.000 So you're not helping any fucking charities.
00:23:22.000 No starving kids are getting fed.
00:23:24.000 They're just gonna buy food and get fatter.
00:23:27.000 And in Bert's case, he's probably gonna buy boxes of wine.
00:23:30.000 Bert drinks boxes of wine in an evening.
00:23:34.000 And someone was trying to explain to me how many bottles of wine that is, and we don't really know.
00:23:39.000 I could Google that.
00:23:40.000 I'm gonna Google that right now.
00:23:41.000 Let's find out.
00:23:42.000 If you had a guess, How many boxes of wine would you say?
00:23:48.000 Let's take a guess.
00:23:50.000 How many bottles of wine are in a box?
00:23:58.000 Of wine are in a box.
00:24:01.000 Here it goes.
00:24:03.000 Before I click on it, I'm going to say, I think it was nine.
00:24:06.000 I'm going to say nine.
00:24:08.000 That seems like a lot.
00:24:10.000 Four bottles.
00:24:11.000 Okay.
00:24:11.000 Oh, no, no.
00:24:12.000 Okay.
00:24:13.000 Six and two-thirds bottle.
00:24:15.000 All right, here it goes.
00:24:17.000 750 milliliter bottles.
00:24:19.000 How many 750 milliliter bottles are there in a five-liter box of wine?
00:24:26.000 It's six and two thirds.
00:24:28.000 And if it's a three liter box of wine, it's four bottles.
00:24:33.000 Hmm.
00:24:35.000 I bet he's drinking the six and two thirds.
00:24:37.000 In a night.
00:24:38.000 I think he's done more than one.
00:24:41.000 I forget what he said.
00:24:43.000 But he's definitely drank at least one box in a night on a regular basis.
00:24:49.000 So that's four bottles of wine.
00:24:52.000 I would be dead.
00:24:54.000 I don't know how he does it.
00:24:55.000 Well, he's definitely fat.
00:24:57.000 I mean, that helps.
00:24:59.000 And then it's also, there's a tolerance issue.
00:25:02.000 When you drink that much all the time, your body just gets used to it.
00:25:11.000 Your body's like, okay, this asshole's gonna be pouring poison down the hole every day.
00:25:17.000 Time to get used to it.
00:25:19.000 So, that's why.
00:25:22.000 Hmm.
00:25:22.000 Mythbusters.
00:25:23.000 Mythbusters.
00:25:24.000 How many bottles of wine in a box?
00:25:26.000 I've been told a box of wine is equivalent to five bottles.
00:25:30.000 Now I got to see if it's truth or a myth.
00:25:33.000 That's not a myth.
00:25:35.000 That's a measurement.
00:25:36.000 This is just somebody's wacky website.
00:25:41.000 So that's what the Burt and Tom, like who's fat thing is all about.
00:25:46.000 So if you see hashtag Burt is fat, that's what that's all about.
00:25:50.000 Or hashtag Tom is fat, which is sort of a retaliation.
00:25:54.000 And they would call him Burt Chrysler.
00:25:58.000 I don't know.
00:26:00.000 Tom's podcast with his wife, Christina Pazitsky, they have this podcast called Your Mom's House.
00:26:06.000 It's fucking hilarious.
00:26:07.000 It's really funny.
00:26:08.000 And it's really unique.
00:26:11.000 It's really their own kind of thing.
00:26:13.000 I only did it once, but it's really fun.
00:26:15.000 They have their own vibe.
00:26:17.000 They're the pound-for-pound funniest couple, Tom and Christina.
00:26:21.000 It's close.
00:26:22.000 It's like Bonnie McFarlane and Rich Voss are right up there.
00:26:25.000 But, man, I think Tom and Christina might have them by a hair.
00:26:31.000 By a hair...
00:26:36.000 Alright.
00:26:36.000 Next question.
00:26:38.000 Boy, some of these questions are fucking terrible.
00:26:39.000 Will the Doom podcast ever happen?
00:26:41.000 That's a good question.
00:26:43.000 Soprano Pictures.
00:26:44.000 Yeah, probably will.
00:26:46.000 I've just been crazy busy editing the comedy special right now.
00:26:52.000 And when that's over, I'll have some rest and relaxation time.
00:26:55.000 What we're going to do is, it probably won't be like a regular podcast because it probably won't be that interesting to listen to or watch.
00:27:02.000 We'll have it just as a supplemental thing.
00:27:05.000 Or we'll do it on Twitch.
00:27:07.000 Twitch is this thing that these young kids are doing these days.
00:27:11.000 Twitch is this...
00:27:12.000 And I'm sorry if this is popping.
00:27:14.000 I might be too close to this.
00:27:16.000 If I'm popping my peas.
00:27:19.000 Twitch is this thing that...
00:27:22.000 Young kids are doing where you're watching video games being played by other people, and it's really popular, hugely popular.
00:27:29.000 In fact, they make money from it.
00:27:31.000 They play video games and they make money playing video games.
00:27:36.000 Who saw that coming?
00:27:37.000 Nobody, right?
00:27:39.000 Nobody ever thought that it would be interesting to watch people play video games, but when I used to play Quake, people used to get into these things called demos.
00:27:47.000 You would watch guys like, there was this kid named Thresh.
00:27:50.000 He was like the big gamer back in the day.
00:27:54.000 The big Quake player is one of the best in the world, if not the best, and I would watch his demos just because he could fuck guys up playing that game.
00:28:04.000 In a way that I could never do.
00:28:05.000 And I think if you can watch someone do something, like, when I was competing in Taekwondo tournaments, one of the things that really helped me a lot was I would go, like, when I was coming up, I would go and watch, like, big-time tournaments.
00:28:19.000 Like, I went to Colorado Springs to watch the World Cup.
00:28:23.000 And this was in, like...
00:28:26.000 I would say like 1986, I think it was, and I went to Colorado Springs to watch the World Cup because I knew that the best fighters in the world were going to be there, the best Taekwondo guys.
00:28:36.000 Guys like Herb Perez and, God, I'm trying to remember some of these names.
00:28:44.000 There was this guy, Nassim, I don't remember his last name, but he was this bad motherfucker from the Ivory Coast.
00:28:53.000 Boy, I'll remember it.
00:28:55.000 As soon as this podcast is over, I'll remember his name.
00:28:57.000 It's driving me crazy.
00:29:00.000 Patrice.
00:29:00.000 Patrice Remarque, that's his name.
00:29:02.000 Patrice Remarque was his name.
00:29:04.000 It was not Nassim.
00:29:05.000 Nassim was another guy who was also a bad motherfucker.
00:29:08.000 There was a bunch of them.
00:29:09.000 But anyway, these guys were at a very high level, much better than me.
00:29:14.000 And I remember going and watching them compete made me better.
00:29:19.000 I remember seeing that level of competition and then all of a sudden in my mind I had higher expectations of myself and a higher ceiling, I guess, of potential.
00:29:33.000 I looked at all these guys and how good they were and I realized what was possible.
00:29:39.000 So it sort of ramped up in my mind what I needed to do to be at my best.
00:29:47.000 And immediately afterwards, I went on to win one of the biggest tournaments I ever won, which was one of the biggest in Massachusetts, the Bay State Games, which was right after I got back.
00:29:58.000 Just from watching, I got better, guaranteed.
00:30:01.000 Point is, we would watch these things, these...
00:30:06.000 Demos in Quake.
00:30:07.000 So what you could do is you would hit the tilde key.
00:30:12.000 The tilde key is that key that's right below the escape button on your laptop, or your keyboard, rather.
00:30:17.000 And it would pull this drop-down menu, like a control panel.
00:30:23.000 Not even a drop-down menu.
00:30:24.000 It was like code, like DOS. And you would have to type in certain things.
00:30:29.000 I forget how you would do it.
00:30:32.000 But you had to learn what little symbols to use and stuff.
00:30:37.000 It was almost like kind of coding.
00:30:38.000 But you could type in demo and you could run a demo.
00:30:44.000 And then later on I think they put it in the menu, the actual menu of the game.
00:30:49.000 But in the old days, especially the Quake 1 days, you used to have to You used to have to know what to write in in the code and then you could record a demo.
00:30:58.000 And you would record a demo and this way you'd be watching the game play out from the person's eyes.
00:31:05.000 Like you would watch their screen.
00:31:08.000 Like what they're seeing when they're playing the game.
00:31:10.000 And it made you better.
00:31:12.000 It definitely did, and I think it's exciting to watch, too.
00:31:16.000 It's exciting to see if someone could pull something off.
00:31:18.000 I'd watch this Thresh guy, or there was another guy named Immortal.
00:31:23.000 He was a bad motherfucker, and he was another guy who was one of the best in the world.
00:31:29.000 You'd watch him play, and you'd just go, Jesus.
00:31:32.000 Because he would hit guys.
00:31:34.000 They would be in the midair, jumping, and he would shoot them in the face with a rocket.
00:31:38.000 He was so good.
00:31:40.000 He would rail guys.
00:31:41.000 A rail gun is this super high-powered thing that shoots this, I guess, I don't know what a rail is.
00:31:49.000 A ball or something like that?
00:31:51.000 But it has this cool tracer behind it.
00:31:55.000 Like this laser tracer.
00:31:57.000 And it's almost instantaneous.
00:32:00.000 The speed in it.
00:32:02.000 It's faster than a rocket.
00:32:03.000 And you'd be able to...
00:32:05.000 You'd have to time it just absolutely perfectly, and these guys would be able to do things with those railguns that were just so impressive to someone who sucked like me.
00:32:14.000 You'd watch it, and you'd watch it through their eyes.
00:32:16.000 You're like, fuck, and it just made you realize how bad you sucked, and how good they are, and how much more you had to work at it.
00:32:25.000 That was one of the weird things about those games is how deep the rabbit hole goes.
00:32:31.000 The guys who were really good They were so much better than someone like me who was kind of okay.
00:32:39.000 I was okay as long as I was playing somebody who sucked or somebody who was at my level who just really didn't know what they're doing.
00:32:46.000 And I was fucking playing a lot.
00:32:48.000 I was playing like eight hours a day at one point in time, sometimes even more.
00:32:52.000 Completely obsessed.
00:32:54.000 It would fuck up all sorts of aspects of my life.
00:32:57.000 I wouldn't get anything done.
00:32:58.000 I would be constantly just engrossed in improving my performance in this fucking crazy game.
00:33:06.000 And playing it online too was so exciting because you'd be playing against a bunch of people and these people would be In real time, essentially, there was a little bit of lag in between when you would shoot and when it would show up on the screen, depending upon how fast your connection was.
00:33:23.000 But if you had a pretty decent connection, like cable modem or something like that, and the person was near you fairly close in the same city or something like that, or at least in the same state, you'd get really commensurate pings, and you'd have these awesome matches where you'd be basically playing in real time against each other.
00:33:42.000 It's just so exciting.
00:33:43.000 And these levels that you would play on if you've never played a 3D shooter, like Unreal or Quake or Doom, there's a bunch of them now.
00:33:54.000 But these games that you would play, the graphics would be so intense.
00:33:58.000 There'd be all these wild maps that you would play on.
00:34:01.000 It was just really exciting.
00:34:02.000 And so much more exciting than any other game or any other thing that I've ever done before outside of fighting in a competitive way.
00:34:11.000 It was just completely engrossing.
00:34:14.000 I really had a problem with it for a long time.
00:34:16.000 If you listen to this podcast for any length of episodes, I'm sure it's come up more than once.
00:34:23.000 I know I talk about the same things.
00:34:26.000 Over and over again sometimes, and that's unfortunate.
00:34:29.000 But I always feel like somebody listening doesn't know that story, and if I don't tell that story, it's not going to make sense.
00:34:37.000 The people that are the hardcore people that have heard this podcast, listened to 100 plus episodes, you probably have heard that story.
00:34:44.000 But, you know, the real issue is how many people that are new that are tuning in for the first time haven't.
00:34:51.000 I don't want to leave it out just because I'm worried that someone's already heard it.
00:34:56.000 So I always try to put that caveat in it.
00:34:58.000 For those of you who have heard this before, I'm sorry.
00:35:06.000 Video game career as far as, I wouldn't call it a career, obsession.
00:35:11.000 My period of obsession lasted a few years.
00:35:14.000 And I eventually had a quick cold turkey.
00:35:17.000 I had to walk away.
00:35:19.000 Because it was just really interfering with my life.
00:35:22.000 And here's another story that I've told before, but I'll tell it again just because people haven't heard it.
00:35:27.000 There was a guy who was a manager at the comedy store.
00:35:29.000 He was a really nice guy.
00:35:32.000 His name was Rob, and Rob was in the back of the Comedy Store once, and he said he was addicted to EverQuest.
00:35:38.000 And EverQuest was like World of Warcraft.
00:35:41.000 It was one of those role-playing games, those multi-person Weird world games where you, you know, I'm a sorcerer and you have a cloak and go get a bag of gold and wacky fucking games.
00:35:57.000 But he was super addicted to it.
00:36:00.000 And one of the things that he said was, he said, I'm so good at making money in the game world, but so bad at making money in the real world.
00:36:12.000 And the way he said it was like this revelation, like, what the fuck is wrong with me?
00:36:17.000 He was really devastated.
00:36:19.000 He was sitting there, he's pale, looked like he hadn't seen the sun in weeks.
00:36:23.000 He looked like he hadn't been sleeping right.
00:36:25.000 His eyes were all fucked up from staring at a computer screen every day.
00:36:31.000 That was the moment, I think, where I realized, oh yeah, these fucking things will sap you of your life.
00:36:40.000 It might be fun while it's happening, but when it's over, it's not fun.
00:36:45.000 The memories, they're weird memories.
00:36:49.000 If you play a game, like say if you play a baseball game and you knock a home run out of the park and everybody cheers and you run the bases and you high five your teammates and you have a good time, that's a real memory.
00:37:04.000 But if you play a guy in a video game and you play for eight hours and you beat him in some crazy match, when it's over you don't feel like anything really happened.
00:37:17.000 I wonder if that's the case if someone's playing in a major tournament.
00:37:20.000 Maybe it was just me because I had the thought in my head that I was wasting my time, that I should be doing other things.
00:37:29.000 I have things that I need to be doing, and I'm fucking off and playing this video game.
00:37:34.000 And so I had a negative attachment to the idea of playing a game.
00:37:38.000 And maybe if I was one of those dudes in one of those StarCraft games, I don't know if you're familiar at all with video games, but if you are familiar, you know that they have these crazy StarCraft tournaments in Korea.
00:37:53.000 I guess they have them in America too.
00:37:55.000 Maybe Europe as well.
00:37:57.000 Maybe I'm just talking out of my ass.
00:37:58.000 But in Korea, I know they're huge.
00:38:00.000 And they fill up arenas.
00:38:03.000 I'm talking like a fucking coliseum, like 25,000 people.
00:38:07.000 And they have these giant screens and people watch these guys play video games in real time.
00:38:15.000 And they cheer and they know the moves.
00:38:18.000 So when someone's doing something good, they get crazy.
00:38:20.000 And when someone's making a mistake, they're like, oh no.
00:38:24.000 It's weird.
00:38:26.000 It's weird to watch.
00:38:27.000 And I believe there's real money in it.
00:38:29.000 Like I know there's...
00:38:31.000 Guys that do play in video games, in tournaments, and in professional video game leagues that can actually make real money.
00:38:38.000 And then they make that money on that Twitch thing as well.
00:38:41.000 Twitch, I don't know, it's twitch.com, I guess.
00:38:44.000 Somehow or another, I don't know, it's been explained to me, but I forgot.
00:38:47.000 There's, I guess people, I don't know if you get paid or how many people are watching you or people donate or whatever.
00:38:57.000 I don't know.
00:38:58.000 They make money.
00:38:59.000 They make money off of Twitch.
00:39:00.000 So there's that.
00:39:01.000 So maybe those people that are playing these big time Starcraft tournaments, maybe to them it feels the same way as it would feel if you were a major league chess player and you won a tournament.
00:39:13.000 It's weird because some games are highly respected and some games nobody gives a fuck about.
00:39:20.000 Games, they carry their own sort of I don't know, not really prejudice, but games have their own little thing that are attached to them.
00:39:29.000 Like chess.
00:39:30.000 Chess is a thinking person's game.
00:39:32.000 If you tell someone you play chess, they're like, ooh, you must be smart.
00:39:36.000 You tell somebody you play poker, they go, oh, you degenerate gambler fuck.
00:39:41.000 There's games that people don't appreciate.
00:39:44.000 You tell someone, yeah, I play professional pool.
00:39:48.000 They go, oh, that's a thing?
00:39:50.000 It's not like someone saying they're a professional chess master.
00:39:54.000 I'm a grand master of chess.
00:40:00.000 That's very respectable.
00:40:02.000 Grand master is very close to grand wizard though.
00:40:05.000 That's one of the hilarious things about the KKK. They have wizards.
00:40:11.000 The grand wizard.
00:40:13.000 Like what?
00:40:14.000 He's a grand wizard of the KKK. He's a wizard?
00:40:19.000 You're a fucking child.
00:40:20.000 You're a wizard.
00:40:23.000 How the fuck did I get there?
00:40:25.000 Point is, there's no point.
00:40:27.000 I have no point.
00:40:28.000 Point is, video games, they scare the shit out of me because they cost me a few years of my life.
00:40:34.000 Not really.
00:40:35.000 I mean, I had a good time.
00:40:36.000 I had fun.
00:40:38.000 Learned.
00:40:39.000 Learned that I have a problem with games along the way, but I already knew that because of pool.
00:40:42.000 And I knew that because of martial arts, too, because martial arts, it's very similar in a lot of ways to games.
00:40:49.000 Most recent podcast with Brian Callen, we talked about that with, we were talking about Josh Waitzkin, who is a famous chess prodigy, who I feel like he was the inspiration behind the movie Searching for Bobby Fischer.
00:41:08.000 Looking for Bobby Fischer or searching for Bobby Fischer?
00:41:11.000 The movie with the little kid who's a chess master.
00:41:14.000 I'm pretty sure Josh Waitkin was a big part of the motivation or the inspiration for that movie.
00:41:21.000 And he went on to become really fascinated by jiu-jitsu, was a student of Marcelo Garcia.
00:41:28.000 I'm pretty sure he's a black belt now.
00:41:29.000 He's a brown belt.
00:41:30.000 Back when I was communicating with him online, we were sending emails back and forth because my friend Nathan was training with him and he connected the two of us together.
00:41:40.000 Josh is a fascinating guy.
00:41:43.000 He was also responsible for Marcelo Garcia putting a lot of content online, I believe.
00:41:50.000 I hope I'm not wrong about this.
00:41:52.000 But Marcelo, M-I-G in action, was a really interesting website where Marcelo was constantly rolling with people, rolling with new people in his school.
00:42:03.000 And he was, you know, people would come in and train with him.
00:42:06.000 Like Eddie went down, Eddie Bravo went down there and he trained with him and they film it and they put the role, the sparring session online.
00:42:14.000 They're all very friendly sparring sessions but, you know, competitive.
00:42:17.000 And if you don't know Marcelo Garcia, he is a fascinating character himself.
00:42:22.000 He's a brilliant, brilliant jujitsu player.
00:42:25.000 Who's a really nice guy.
00:42:27.000 And you look at him, he's kind of baby-faced and smiley, but he's just one of the best in the world.
00:42:32.000 And he doesn't compete anymore.
00:42:34.000 He's getting older and he stepped down, but I had the opportunity to watch him compete in 2003 in Brazil, in Sao Paulo, Brazil.
00:42:45.000 That was back when Eddie Bravo choked out Hoyle Gracie, or tapped out Hoyle Gracie with a triangle choke.
00:42:52.000 He was the first American to ever tap a Gracie.
00:42:55.000 And in that main tournament, this huge Abu Dhabi submission tournament, the star of the show was Marcelo Garcia.
00:43:05.000 He was without a doubt the star of the show.
00:43:07.000 He fought this guy, he had a match with this guy, Victor Shaolin Hubero, who was a very respected jiu-jitsu guy, and he choked him unconscious.
00:43:17.000 And it was just a wild scramble.
00:43:20.000 He caught his back and Shaolin tried to roll out of it and Marcelo just sunk it in deeper and deeper.
00:43:25.000 And before Shaolin could even tap, he was out cold.
00:43:28.000 And Marcelo was just running through the competition.
00:43:31.000 I remember we were all watching him going, holy shit, who is this guy?
00:43:36.000 Just came out of nowhere and was just so dominant and so dynamic.
00:43:42.000 And he had some really specific moves that he liked to hit.
00:43:47.000 And particularly the way he would take people's backs.
00:43:50.000 He was so good at chokes.
00:43:53.000 And he also had a really scientific approach where he wouldn't...
00:43:58.000 I wonder if you guys can hear that.
00:43:59.000 The fan just kicked on.
00:44:00.000 Do you care?
00:44:01.000 No one cares, right?
00:44:04.000 Shut this bitch off.
00:44:07.000 There it goes.
00:44:09.000 But he had an interesting approach where he had a few techniques that he would do, but he would do them extremely well.
00:44:18.000 He didn't have this gigantic arsenal that he would attack with.
00:44:23.000 He would attack with guillotines, and he would attack with rear naked chokes.
00:44:27.000 And there was a lot of things that he wouldn't do.
00:44:29.000 He wasn't a big guy.
00:44:30.000 He wasn't like a big muscular guy, which is one of the more interesting things about him.
00:44:34.000 When you look at him, he wasn't a scary guy.
00:44:36.000 He wasn't like, there's certain jiu-jitsu guys, you look at them and you go, Jesus.
00:44:40.000 Like, Husamar Pajares is one of the best examples of that, because he's just built like a freak.
00:44:46.000 He's built like the comic book version of Wolverine.
00:44:49.000 He's a short guy with giant muscles, just thick fucking neck.
00:44:53.000 Just terrifying guy.
00:44:54.000 Rips people's legs apart too.
00:44:56.000 And doesn't necessarily let go when they tap.
00:44:58.000 He's kind of known for that, which makes him even scarier.
00:45:00.000 He's injured a lot of guys.
00:45:02.000 But he looks like a scary guy.
00:45:04.000 When you look at Marcelo Garcia, he's like a really smiley guy.
00:45:08.000 And because of the fact that he wasn't a very physically, not that he wasn't physically strong, but he wasn't a freak athlete.
00:45:16.000 He wasn't just explosive, dominant, just really muscular guy.
00:45:19.000 He developed just razor-sharp technique and leverage.
00:45:24.000 And that's how he won his matches, which made it even more impressive, really.
00:45:33.000 His main techniques were chokes, so most of the time he's putting guys to sleep or forcing them to tap.
00:45:40.000 But there was a lot of techniques that were really common, well-respected techniques that he just never used, and he would openly talk about them, like the Kimura, which is a famous technique.
00:45:50.000 It's actually called the double wrist lock in catch wrestling.
00:45:55.000 Catch wrestling, When people think about pro wrestling, when you think about pro wrestling, you think about like Hulk Hogan and The Rock and the theatrics and these pre-scripted events.
00:46:07.000 But wrestling used to be, at one point in time, it used to be an actual match.
00:46:14.000 Like there was actual professional wrestling.
00:46:17.000 And there was a style of wrestling called catch or catch as catch can.
00:46:24.000 I think that's how they would say it.
00:46:26.000 And catch wrestling.
00:46:27.000 There's these guys like Carl Gotch and Farmer Burns and a lot of guys who wound up teaching some modern day MMA fighters and grappling competitors like Josh Barnett.
00:46:41.000 Josh Barnett is probably the most famous and the most successful catch wrestling player.
00:46:49.000 Like Josh Barnett has tapped out some really famous Brazilian Jiu Jitsu competitors like Hiran Gracie or Dean Lister.
00:47:00.000 Dean Lister being incredibly impressive because Dean hadn't tapped to anybody in, God, I want to say at least 10 years when Josh finished him in this competition called Metamorris.
00:47:15.000 But that's what wrestling used to be.
00:47:18.000 And they had a bunch of submissions.
00:47:20.000 Like a lot of the submissions that we think of as jujitsu submissions also existed in catch wrestling.
00:47:27.000 And I guess when people are grappling, people have been grappling throughout the beginning of time.
00:47:33.000 I mean, when people first started fighting, that's probably how they fought each other.
00:47:37.000 They probably grabbed each other and got close enough to bite or hang on to each other.
00:47:42.000 And then slowly, people started realizing, hey, when I do this, it seems to keep the guy away from me.
00:47:48.000 Or when I do this, I can hold on to him.
00:47:50.000 Or I used to hold him like this, but now I realize when I hold him like this, it works even better.
00:47:55.000 And when I do this, it really hurts.
00:47:57.000 And when I do this, it doesn't hurt.
00:47:59.000 Back in the days of the Spartans and the Romans, if you look at some of the statues, I was in Italy recently and we went to Rome and we looked at some of the artwork of the Vatican in particular.
00:48:12.000 There's just a lot of statues of guys wrestling.
00:48:15.000 A lot of looks like grappling holds and grappling positions.
00:48:19.000 It's been around forever.
00:48:22.000 But what Brazilian Jiu Jitsu really was is these guys who are not very big, Elio and Carlos Gracie, they weren't the biggest guys in the world.
00:48:33.000 They were small and they weren't physically strong.
00:48:35.000 They figured out how to use technique and leverage to overcome physical strength.
00:48:41.000 And one of the matches that Elio got in early in his career, he would have these crazy matches with people.
00:48:49.000 Had a match with this guy named Kimura.
00:48:53.000 And Kimura caught him in what catch wrestling would call a double wrist lock, where you clamp down one hand on the wrist, and then you throw an overhook around the arm, And clamp your other hand down on your wrist.
00:49:11.000 So you have one hand on his wrist, one hand on your wrist, and it creates this awesome fulcrum point, and you can manipulate someone's arm.
00:49:19.000 But Marcelo Garcia always felt like that position required a lot of physical strength.
00:49:24.000 And he wasn't a very strong guy, so he just abandoned it.
00:49:28.000 He just decided it wasn't an option, and he was just going to concentrate primarily on things that were sort of It just had ultimate technique to them.
00:49:39.000 And chokes pretty much have ultimate technique.
00:49:41.000 And one of the reasons why a choke is an ultimate technique is if someone lands it perfectly, you go unconscious.
00:49:48.000 Whereas an arm bar, guys have gotten their arm broken before and come back and fought and won.
00:49:55.000 And had their arm awfully hyperextended and come back and won.
00:50:01.000 A perfect example in jiu-jitsu is Hodger Gracie versus Jacare.
00:50:07.000 It's a very famous match between two guys that are competing in MMA now, but back when they were fighting in jiu-jitsu, they were amongst the best in the world.
00:50:15.000 And Hodger Gracie caught He put Jacare in an arm bar and snapped his arm, and Jacare would not tap.
00:50:25.000 He would not tap, and he fought out of it, and eventually he was ahead on points when he got up, when he got out of the arm bar, but his arm was just destroyed.
00:50:36.000 So if I remember correctly, I think he might have even tucked his arm inside his belt and just kept going until the time limit ran out.
00:50:46.000 And then raised his one good arm and got all excited and had won because he gutted it out and would not tap when this guy snapped his fucking arm.
00:50:57.000 And this is, by the way, professional jiu-jitsu.
00:51:00.000 This isn't even MMA. This is not like a Ronda Rousey match or a Conor McGregor fight where they're making millions and millions of dollars.
00:51:08.000 I don't know how much money this guy was getting paid for this jiu-jitsu match in his sponsors and how much it was actually worth to him.
00:51:16.000 As far as his pride, it was worth it to him to actually get his arm broken instead of tapping, which is fucking crazy.
00:51:26.000 So, boy, that's a long and circuitous, I've lost my own train of thought.
00:51:31.000 My train of thought was that there's certain techniques that you could really hurt a guy, but they don't have to quit.
00:51:39.000 And Hadra Gracie landed the perfect arm bar on Jacare, broke his arm, and Jacare still won the fight.
00:51:46.000 On points, at least.
00:51:47.000 I mean, if they had been fighting old-school, Gracie way, Hadjer probably would have eventually got him because Jacare really couldn't defend himself correctly anymore.
00:51:55.000 And he would eventually, since he's only got one arm to defend himself, Hadjer probably would have wound up choking him or catching him in something else.
00:52:04.000 But, you know, it's entirely possible he wouldn't, and it's entirely possible that Jacare, even with a broken arm, could have gotten him.
00:52:09.000 But the point being, When you choke someone to sleep, instead of break their arm, they can't do anything.
00:52:16.000 They're done.
00:52:17.000 You put them to sleep.
00:52:19.000 And that was Marcelo Garcia's philosophy.
00:52:22.000 He realized that he could just put someone to sleep, and then there could be no debate as to whether or not he was going to win.
00:52:29.000 And no debate as to whether or not the move was actually efficient or effective.
00:52:34.000 It was obviously effective.
00:52:36.000 The guy was asleep.
00:52:37.000 And that's what we saw in Brazil when he fought Shaolin and just put him to sleep.
00:52:42.000 I mean, in seconds, too.
00:52:43.000 It's a crazy, crazy video that you can watch on YouTube.
00:52:47.000 So Josh Waitzkin, who was a student of Marcelo's, put all of Marcelo's moves and sort of Just sort of like as something that people can learn from and grow from and put it all online.
00:53:04.000 So...
00:53:04.000 Games.
00:53:06.000 Doom podcast.
00:53:08.000 So Josh, who is a...
00:53:12.000 Obviously, because he's a chess prodigy, is fascinated by games, and chess being one of the most intellectually inspiring games got really into jiu-jitsu as well.
00:53:21.000 So I just know because of the way I got into martial arts and the way I got into video games and pool, there's something about those weird challenges that can really They can really excite the mind.
00:53:35.000 The only problem is I don't necessarily know if they have the same kind of real-world benefits as getting really good at a sport or getting really good at an actual physical activity where you move around and do things.
00:53:51.000 I don't know.
00:53:52.000 But we will eventually do a Doom podcast and I will prepare myself where I make sure that there's no fucking way I get completely and totally addicted anymore.
00:54:04.000 Because I've been there.
00:54:06.000 I've been there.
00:54:07.000 It's not the move.
00:54:09.000 I don't have time for that anymore.
00:54:13.000 Other questions here.
00:54:14.000 Who will do international pay-per-view instead of you?
00:54:18.000 If you don't know what that question is about, I decided recently, at one point in time I was going to not work for the UFC anymore.
00:54:26.000 I was going to just do these fight companion podcasts that I do with Eddie Bravo and Brendan Schaub and Brian Callen sometimes, and other people sometimes too when those guys are out of town.
00:54:38.000 I did one recently with Joey Diaz.
00:54:39.000 It was one of the best ones ever.
00:54:41.000 But what the fight companions are is we just sit around, we watch the fights, and we talk some shit.
00:54:46.000 And I'm not working that way.
00:54:49.000 I just work a little bit too much.
00:54:53.000 Between stand-up comedy, writing stand-up comedy, doing podcasts, researching the guests, researching subjects, researching potential guests, and then Life.
00:55:09.000 All the other things that I have to do.
00:55:11.000 Exercise, yoga.
00:55:13.000 Forget about family time.
00:55:14.000 All that other stuff.
00:55:16.000 There's a lot of time that is already accounted for.
00:55:20.000 And then there was the UFC, and I had to figure out what things I could cut back on.
00:55:28.000 I wasn't going to cut back on family life.
00:55:31.000 I don't want to cut back on my recreational activities, because they keep me sane.
00:55:36.000 For me, I need a bunch of stuff that I'm interested in.
00:55:40.000 I can't just work.
00:55:42.000 Even though work is awesome, I love doing stand-up.
00:55:47.000 I even love doing the UFC. I love it.
00:55:49.000 I love it.
00:55:50.000 I mean, it's a very exciting job, and it's an honor to be able to do.
00:55:55.000 But it's work, and it requires energy, and it requires focus.
00:56:05.000 I feel like, at the end of the day, you only have so much energy and so much focus.
00:56:10.000 And you could be in a situation where you almost are too fortunate and you have too many things that you enjoy.
00:56:18.000 And that's where I kind of found myself.
00:56:23.000 So that's what I decided.
00:56:24.000 I decided what I'm going to do is I am going to only do North American pay-per-view.
00:56:31.000 That's it.
00:56:32.000 No more Fox shows.
00:56:34.000 No more long international flights because, first of all, those things fucking wreck your body.
00:56:40.000 They wreck me.
00:56:41.000 I would do them and then for days, I just got back from Italy.
00:56:45.000 It took me like a week, like at least four or five days before I felt normal again.
00:56:51.000 It just, your body's all fucked up, you're jet-lagged, you're confused, you're exhausted.
00:56:56.000 You just feel like you're at 60% all the time.
00:57:00.000 You're always trying to push through, and it's a drag.
00:57:04.000 Enthusiasm and having vitality, like physical vitality and feeling good and feeling healthy.
00:57:11.000 It's a big factor in life for me.
00:57:14.000 That's a huge thing.
00:57:16.000 I like feeling good.
00:57:17.000 I like being healthy.
00:57:19.000 When I know something is going to make me feel physically bad and make me feel unhealthy, I try to avoid it as much as possible.
00:57:28.000 Sometimes I give in, like maybe I'll have a couple of drinks with some friends and we get a little crazy, and the next day I'm like, oh, you dummy.
00:57:37.000 I've done that before, obviously, but even the I feel better in a day.
00:57:45.000 Those fucking jet lags, like a flight from, whoops, a flight from Sydney, just knocked over the phone, a flight from Sydney, Australia, that shit takes me a long time to get better from.
00:57:58.000 I don't want to be complaining here.
00:58:00.000 My point being, I try to avoid things that make me feel Shitty.
00:58:06.000 Physically.
00:58:08.000 And unfortunately, a lot of flying makes you feel shitty.
00:58:11.000 And especially flying long hours.
00:58:14.000 So who's going to do the international pay-per-views?
00:58:16.000 I think the way they're doing it now is Dan Hardy, who's a former fighter.
00:58:21.000 And he's been a guest on this podcast.
00:58:23.000 He's a fucking awesome guy.
00:58:25.000 Super smart dude.
00:58:27.000 Super tuned in.
00:58:29.000 Really interesting and intelligent guy.
00:58:31.000 And Dan...
00:58:33.000 I actually trained with Dan for years.
00:58:36.000 Back in the day when Dan used to train at 10th Planet Jiu Jitsu, whenever he was in town, he was getting ready for a fight, he would come to Eddie Bravo's gym and train.
00:58:45.000 I trained with him multiple times.
00:58:46.000 Super nice guy.
00:58:48.000 So Dan Hardy will probably do a lot of them.
00:58:52.000 And then, of course, Brian Stan, who's fantastic, who's also been on this podcast, he'll do a lot of them.
00:59:00.000 And then there's also Kenny Florian, who's also great.
00:59:03.000 He'll do...
00:59:04.000 I don't know how they work that out, like who does what, but those are the ones who are going to do it.
00:59:09.000 So that would be the answer to that, you fucks.
00:59:13.000 I don't know.
00:59:14.000 I mean, I really don't know...
00:59:17.000 I don't know what's gonna happen with this new ownership thing either.
00:59:21.000 There's a bunch of new people that took over the UFC now.
00:59:26.000 The UFC is still gonna be run by Dana White, which is one of the reasons why I decided to stay.
00:59:35.000 Because Dana and I are close.
00:59:37.000 We've been good friends for a long time.
00:59:39.000 And one of the things that I was really nervous about was the idea that Dana was going to leave and some suits were going to take over.
00:59:46.000 And then I was going to have to have meetings with people.
00:59:48.000 They were going to tell me what I could.
00:59:50.000 Or couldn't say or give me advice on how to do it or any of that stupid shit.
00:59:54.000 I was like, fuck this.
00:59:57.000 It was answering the question for me.
00:59:59.000 What am I going to cut back in my life?
01:00:01.000 As soon as I heard that they were thinking about selling, I was like, well, that answered it for me.
01:00:05.000 But as time went on, and I really thought more and more about it, I really thought that I would miss it, and I don't want to.
01:00:12.000 And also, I mean, I don't mean to sound corny, but all the love that I got from people online, it influenced my thinking too.
01:00:20.000 It made me think that I probably should think about sticking it out.
01:00:25.000 So that's the answer to that.
01:00:28.000 What do I think about the Fermi paradox?
01:00:31.000 That's an interesting question.
01:00:33.000 If you don't know what the Fermi Paradox is, the actual definition is, here, I'll find it here.
01:00:38.000 The actual definition is, it's about aliens.
01:00:41.000 The question is, where are, okay, here it is.
01:00:45.000 Where is everybody?
01:00:46.000 The idea is, if there, it's named after, I'll go to the Wikipedia.
01:00:51.000 The Fermi Paradox is named after Enrico Fermi as the apparent contradiction between the lack of evidence and the high probability estimates, those given by the Drake Equation, for the existence of extraterrestrial civilizations.
01:01:07.000 And the Drake Equation It's an equation that's, here I'll go to the Wikipedia of that.
01:01:17.000 It's used to arrive at an estimate of the number of active, communicative, extraterrestrial civilizations in the Milky Way galaxy.
01:01:27.000 Hmm.
01:01:28.000 And the Fermi paradox is, if you look at all of the stars in our galaxy alone, billions of stars, and billions of galaxies, hundreds of billions of stars, hundreds of billions of galaxies,
01:01:44.000 many of them which are many, many, many years older than our galaxy, many years older than our planet, the question is, why haven't these aliens contacted us?
01:01:57.000 Where is everybody?
01:01:58.000 So that's the question, the Fermi Paradox.
01:02:01.000 I've thought about this a lot, so I'm actually happy about this question.
01:02:05.000 I have a feeling that our ideas about what A society or what civilization does as it advances are based entirely on our idea that we are dependent upon the monkey body.
01:02:23.000 That we're dependent upon the physical flesh and the idea of being somewhere in a measurable way.
01:02:32.000 That that's the only way you can experience something.
01:02:36.000 I think that's That's an error on our part.
01:02:43.000 I don't think that we are going to be attached to the physical body forever.
01:02:47.000 This sounds like hippie nonsense, silly woo-woo bullshit, but this is my thought behind it.
01:02:56.000 I think that, first of all, we are moving closer and closer every day to being integrated with technology.
01:03:05.000 And by integrated with technology, I think initially it's going to happen where there's going to be some sort of a chip that we have.
01:03:13.000 In our body, whether it's something that we use that helps us and enhances our vision or enhances our mental function or our ability to communicate with each other or our ability to access information, it's entirely possible that it might start out as some sort of a helmet that we put on that lets us,
01:03:33.000 you know, like maybe like a ball cap with electrodes on it.
01:03:37.000 And you put this thing on, And it stimulates areas of your brain that allow you to see these images and maybe perhaps some sort of a screen-like minority report.
01:03:50.000 It'll be in front of you where you'll be able to access data, where you'll be able to ask it questions.
01:03:56.000 I mean, I have this Hey Siri function.
01:03:59.000 We have this Hey Siri function on our phones that...
01:04:03.000 People get pissed off when I say it, when I say those words on the podcast, because if you have an Android phone, you don't know this, but if you have an iPhone, you have that option on.
01:04:11.000 If someone says those words, hey Siri, your phone goes ba-ding, like you're asking it a question.
01:04:16.000 So you say, hey Siri.
01:04:18.000 Where's the fella get a blowjob around here?
01:04:20.000 Or whatever.
01:04:21.000 Ask it some questions.
01:04:22.000 And it'll actually answer you.
01:04:24.000 You can say, hey Siri, call Duncan.
01:04:27.000 It'll call Duncan.
01:04:28.000 Hey Siri, navigate to the Hollywood Bowl.
01:04:31.000 It'll give you the directions to get to the Hollywood Bowl in real time.
01:04:34.000 It's amazing.
01:04:36.000 And it's science fiction.
01:04:37.000 It's something that just a few years ago was completely outside of our imagination.
01:04:42.000 We really didn't think that they were going to have something that sat on the table next to you.
01:04:46.000 Some small little sliver of glass and metal and whatever the fuck it's made out of.
01:04:52.000 Electrodes?
01:04:53.000 No.
01:04:53.000 It's in there.
01:04:54.000 Silicone?
01:04:55.000 You could talk to that thing and say, hey Siri, what is the Fermi paradox?
01:05:02.000 And it would Google it for you.
01:05:03.000 This is all something that's going on right now.
01:05:07.000 And this is just one step.
01:05:09.000 It's one step in...
01:05:11.000 What is really, as long as human beings stay alive, as long as we don't get nuked, as long as we don't murk ourselves, as long as we don't get fucked up by a super volcano or an asteroid or some polar shift or some natural disaster,
01:05:30.000 as long as that doesn't happen, and we just, not we, obviously not me, but people smarter than me who do this kind of shit, they're going to continue to innovate.
01:05:39.000 And as they continue to innovate, we're going to get technology that is more and more powerful and I think more and more integrated in our lives and in our physical bodies.
01:05:52.000 I think there's going to be a bottleneck where holding a device in your hand, it just doesn't have the same effect or do the same amount of things.
01:06:04.000 As they could do if they actually put it in your head.
01:06:07.000 And I think people are going to fucking volunteer for it.
01:06:10.000 I think they're going to volunteer for it like they volunteer for braces, like they get eyeglasses at the optometrist, like they get fake tits.
01:06:20.000 People are going to get these things put in their bodies, and it's going to be really common.
01:06:24.000 And maybe it won't even have to be in your brain.
01:06:26.000 Maybe that'll be the hold back.
01:06:28.000 People are like, I don't want something in my brain.
01:06:30.000 And they'll go, well, we don't have to do that.
01:06:31.000 We put it in your wrist.
01:06:32.000 It'll communicate with your brain through the nervous system or through electrical impulses, through your tissue itself.
01:06:40.000 And maybe that, along with some sort of a hat that you put on that allows you to interface with the Internet, That's going to be a step.
01:06:48.000 But somewhere along the line, if you listen to guys like Ray Kurzweil, Ray believes that you're going to eventually be able to download your consciousness into a computer.
01:07:01.000 Which, of course...
01:07:03.000 It gets really fucking weird because what are you then?
01:07:08.000 Are you still, here's the question, if you download your consciousness into a computer, are you still existing in the physical sense?
01:07:13.000 So if you exist in the physical sense and your consciousness is downloaded into a computer, do the two get to talk to each other?
01:07:22.000 Or are you like, Do you end your life in a physical sense and then begin one in a digital sense?
01:07:32.000 And is it even a life?
01:07:34.000 But if it exists in some sort of a matrix-like state, if they can figure out a way...
01:07:39.000 There's a lot of people today that are not happy with the life that they've been handed, with the The roll of the dice.
01:07:49.000 Maybe they have physical deformities.
01:07:52.000 Maybe they have poor health.
01:07:54.000 There's a lot of people that just got a shitty hand when it comes to life.
01:08:00.000 Life is not even in the cards that it deals.
01:08:04.000 I don't have to tell you this.
01:08:05.000 You all know this, right?
01:08:06.000 And if someone came along Like, what was that guy's name in The Matrix?
01:08:12.000 The guy who wound up selling everybody out, who just said he wanted to be famous or rich or something like that.
01:08:18.000 He's eating a steak in The Matrix and he decides to give in.
01:08:23.000 That kind of existence, if someone comes along and says, look, you don't have to live this life in the physical sense anymore, instead of being dependent upon this monkey body and the tooth fang and claw of natural selection and evolution and just the struggle,
01:08:46.000 the struggle of being a fucking human being, instead of that, You can exist in this perfect state where you are constantly in love and just filled with joy and having a wonderful life filled with only positive experiences.
01:09:06.000 And you can enjoy this With no negative repercussions.
01:09:13.000 You can become a part of the matrix, a part of the thing, whatever they're going to call it.
01:09:19.000 And from there, you will be the architect of your existence.
01:09:22.000 You'll be able to decide.
01:09:24.000 This idea that, well, the bad days, they make you feel good about the good days.
01:09:28.000 You know, there's no sunshine without rain.
01:09:31.000 You know, you got to have good and evil.
01:09:33.000 Well, that's here.
01:09:35.000 That's in this state, in this physical state.
01:09:37.000 Yeah, you have to have good and you have to have evil as we know it right now in this life.
01:09:42.000 We do appreciate our loved ones when something terrible happens, when there's a tragedy happens.
01:09:48.000 We do appreciate the people that are alive when someone we care about dies.
01:09:53.000 Those are all true.
01:09:55.000 But is that the only way that we can appreciate each other?
01:09:58.000 Is that the only way we can enjoy life?
01:10:00.000 Some people would say yes, but I don't think they'd really know.
01:10:03.000 I think that's just, we're basing that on what we have experienced and what we currently, the data we're pulling from being a human being living on Earth.
01:10:12.000 If someone can engineer, and this is not something that might happen in a year or in 100 years, but we might be talking about something that happens in 1,000 years or 2,000 years.
01:10:24.000 Who knows?
01:10:26.000 But around the same time where we think that a technologically based civilization would develop the capability of star travel, of being able to travel not just into another solar system,
01:10:41.000 but perhaps into another galaxy, maybe hundreds of galaxies away.
01:10:46.000 Who knows?
01:10:47.000 But that kind of incredible ability to control your environment We might not ever get there.
01:10:55.000 And we might not ever get there because we realize that being there physically is not nearly as important as the experience.
01:11:06.000 I've often said this about psychedelics.
01:11:09.000 That people say, oh, you know, you have a psychedelic drug experience.
01:11:13.000 Yeah, oh, you're imagining things that are happening.
01:11:15.000 You're hallucinating.
01:11:17.000 Well, sort of yes, but no.
01:11:19.000 Like, it might not actually be happening.
01:11:22.000 Like, if you have this experience where you take a psychedelic drug and you are transported to the center of the universe and you are communicating with love, with love in the form of Beautifully lit, neon, geometric patterns that are constantly changing and morphing and they're filling you up with wisdom and joy and appreciation.
01:11:48.000 Well, people say, well, that's a hallucination.
01:11:50.000 You're taking a drug and you're having a hallucination.
01:11:53.000 Maybe.
01:11:54.000 But, either way, the experience is still the same.
01:12:00.000 Like, the experience of meeting God because you took mushrooms And having this incredible meeting with the divine force of the universe, if that happens in real life or if that happens in a psychedelic drug trip,
01:12:19.000 the feeling and the experience are still the same.
01:12:22.000 It might not be a real physical thing in the sense of you might not be able to take it and put it in a pillowcase and throw it on a scale and weigh it, but Who's to say you could ever do that anyway?
01:12:37.000 It's the exact same experience of meeting God.
01:12:40.000 It might be just as good, is my point.
01:12:44.000 So, this idea that, well, I don't want to live in the matrix, man.
01:12:48.000 I want to live in the real world.
01:12:51.000 Are you sure?
01:12:52.000 What's the benefit of the real world?
01:12:55.000 I mean, is the only reason why we think that the real world contains some sort of benefit for us is because that's the only model that we have to go on?
01:13:05.000 That this is the pattern that we've been following our whole lives?
01:13:08.000 That this idea that you live and then you die and then you do your best along the way and sometimes you've got to push through the pain and sometimes you've got to fucking get up in the morning when you don't want to get up and you've got to work hard and when you work hard it pays off and you get a good life Your discipline equals your freedom.
01:13:26.000 There's a lot of thoughts that we have about living life that are applicable to this physical, knock-on-wood life, this real life that you and I are experiencing right now.
01:13:35.000 Everybody listening to this podcast, you had to plug your phone in, you had to listen to it on a computer, you had to touch some things, and something had to happen for you to experience something in a real sense.
01:13:48.000 But that's just because this is what we're used to.
01:13:52.000 We're definitely not used to, if you talk about human beings, if you went back 200 years ago, we're definitely not used to the internet.
01:14:02.000 We're definitely not used to movies.
01:14:04.000 200 years ago, we didn't even have fucking cars.
01:14:07.000 If you wanted a picture of something, you had to draw it.
01:14:11.000 We're used to all these things now.
01:14:13.000 We're used to photographs.
01:14:14.000 The idea of not being able to take photos on vacation is alien.
01:14:18.000 The idea of having to get in a boat and travel across the country, like I was talking about How I just got back from Italy.
01:14:26.000 If I lived in the 1800s, I would have had to have been on a boat for months.
01:14:31.000 I would have had to have made it from California all the way to New York, and then I would have had to have been in a fucking boat and gone across the ocean the same way my grandparents did when they were little kids.
01:14:44.000 My grandparents came over here from Italy when they were like, I think my grandfather was like seven years old, I think he said.
01:14:51.000 I would have had to have done all that stuff.
01:14:54.000 It's not gonna happen, right?
01:14:55.000 So the idea of no photos is alien.
01:14:59.000 The idea of no movies, no cameras, no TV shows, no radio, there's no radio back then.
01:15:09.000 What the fuck?
01:15:10.000 You couldn't tune into a radio show in 1800. They didn't have them.
01:15:16.000 They didn't exist.
01:15:17.000 All these things that are now a normal, everyday part of our lives were alien just a few hundred years ago, which in terms of human civilization and certainly in terms of the life of human beings,
01:15:33.000 the existence of human beings, it's not even a blink of an eye.
01:15:36.000 This is all new and we couldn't imagine life without it.
01:15:41.000 I think if time keeps going, or if rather civilization keeps going, over time, if we don't do something incredibly stupid or get fucked up in some sort of a natural catastrophe, we're going to come up with an ability to manipulate our environment,
01:15:56.000 our world, our perceptions, our mind to create an artificial world, an artificial universe that's impossible for our little fucking chimpanzee brains To imagine.
01:16:10.000 I don't think we have the capacity to connect all the dots.
01:16:16.000 I think with each new invention, It opens up a new complete realm of possibility.
01:16:22.000 You couldn't say to someone in 1800, one day you're going to have Google, because they'd be like, what the fuck are you talking about?
01:16:30.000 Well, one day you're going to be able to talk to your phone, what the fuck is a phone?
01:16:34.000 Well, one day you're going to be able to talk to your electronic device, what's electronics?
01:16:38.000 What the fuck are you saying?
01:16:40.000 What are you, a wizard?
01:16:41.000 You would be saying something to them that didn't make any sense at all.
01:16:46.000 That, I think, is how we have to look at the possibility for two or three hundred years from now.
01:16:54.000 There's going to be new things that get invented along the way.
01:16:57.000 In the Old West, it was electricity, metals, new ways of connecting things, and then teletype, and Morse code, and all these different things got invented before they invented computers, the internet, the world we're dealing with right now.
01:17:15.000 When you look at two, three hundred years from now, I think it's entirely possible that these ideas that we have about what the future is going to be like, there's big chunks missing.
01:17:30.000 There's chunks missing from our thought process and it's because these paradigm shifting revelations Inventions and innovations, they haven't occurred yet.
01:17:44.000 And when those things do occur, I think it's gonna forever change what the future will be.
01:17:50.000 And as these things occur, whether it's the ability to download consciousness or whether it's the ability to record thoughts in your own mind, record memories, dreams, That's a real possibility.
01:18:05.000 What they're thinking is there's going to be a time where you are going to have a hard drive, like a virtual hard drive, or a physical hard drive, rather.
01:18:14.000 Like someone's going to put an SD card slot in your head, not an SD card slot, but something probably much smaller.
01:18:20.000 It might even be as small as, like Ray Kurzweil said, as a cell, like a blood cell, like one red blood cell in your body.
01:18:30.000 That's a machine or a computer or a camera.
01:18:34.000 Or some sort of recording device.
01:18:36.000 This thing may be able to record your thoughts.
01:18:41.000 Record how it feels to be you.
01:18:44.000 Like say if you fill in the blank.
01:18:46.000 If you're, I don't know who, Ashton Kutcher.
01:18:50.000 Let's pretend you're Ashton Kutcher.
01:18:51.000 If Ashton Kutcher decides to record his thoughts and his life and his day and to take it and upload it to the web and you could feel what it feels like to be him.
01:19:04.000 Or maybe someone who you would always love to find out how they think.
01:19:09.000 Maybe Chris Rock, a great comedian.
01:19:13.000 How does Chris Rock look at the world?
01:19:14.000 Where's he coming up with his material?
01:19:16.000 How does this guy think?
01:19:17.000 How does he feel about himself?
01:19:20.000 A guy like Louis C.K., who's a very self-deprecating guy.
01:19:24.000 How does he feel about himself?
01:19:25.000 Maybe a guy like John Jones, a great fighter, or Demetrius Mighty Mouse Johnson.
01:19:30.000 How does he feel about himself?
01:19:31.000 How does he think?
01:19:34.000 What does it feel like to be Mighty Mouse for a day?
01:19:37.000 What does it feel like to go through a workout?
01:19:39.000 You could actually feel it.
01:19:41.000 You could experience it.
01:19:42.000 You could be him for a short period of time.
01:19:45.000 I think that is inevitable.
01:19:48.000 I really do.
01:19:49.000 I think that is as inevitable as recording a picture of your kid blowing out their birthday cake and you're watching a video on your iPhone.
01:19:58.000 When you're doing that, when you're videotaping someone's wedding, when you're videotaping a sporting event, when you're holding your camera up at the UFC and you're watching the fights, you're capturing time.
01:20:09.000 You are capturing an image of something.
01:20:13.000 We're so used to it, we don't even understand how fucking insane it is.
01:20:20.000 It is so insane that you could take something that's so small, it's not even as thick as a deck of cards.
01:20:26.000 You take it out of your pocket and It could film hours of shit.
01:20:33.000 Hours.
01:20:34.000 You can capture hours of images and then you show it to me and you could have been on the other side of the world.
01:20:41.000 You could be in New Zealand and you could be filming Some insane mountain view that was in the movie The Hobbit and it could be you and your friends and your backpacking there and you're laughing and joking and you make a video and then you can send it to me through the fucking air and it could reach my phone on the other side of the planet in seconds.
01:21:07.000 This is nuts.
01:21:09.000 It's nuts.
01:21:10.000 It is completely fucking bananas.
01:21:13.000 But we're really used to it.
01:21:15.000 And it stands to reason to me that this ability is only going to accelerate.
01:21:23.000 They're only going to get better.
01:21:24.000 It's only going to get more...
01:21:27.000 More in depth.
01:21:28.000 It's only going to get the experience.
01:21:31.000 It's not just going to be visual.
01:21:33.000 Right now it's visual and it's two dimensional.
01:21:35.000 It's going to be virtual.
01:21:37.000 It's going to turn into a virtual experience.
01:21:39.000 Then it's going to be something that involves much more than just the simple senses of sound and sight.
01:21:46.000 There's going to be feeling.
01:21:47.000 There's going to be neurological responses.
01:21:51.000 There's gonna be memory.
01:21:53.000 Then it's gonna be emotional.
01:21:55.000 You're gonna be able to feel emotions.
01:21:57.000 I think we're gonna be able to record thoughts and ideas in the same way we're able to encode and record visual images, like photographs, or audio, like this podcast.
01:22:10.000 I'm sitting here right now, what time is it?
01:22:12.000 6.34, Friday, July 29th in Atlanta.
01:22:17.000 I'm recording this.
01:22:18.000 You might be listening to this 100 years from now in the future.
01:22:21.000 You might be saying, whoa.
01:22:23.000 I was listening to this Alan Watts recording the other day that was on universal basic income, which is a constant subject right now.
01:22:34.000 It's been going on around the idea of if you actually just gave people money so that they could live.
01:22:39.000 So they didn't have to worry about making a living.
01:22:42.000 It would open them up to a lot of other possibilities.
01:22:44.000 And this idea that putting people on welfare or the dole, it just makes them lazy, might not necessarily be true, and that it actually might be better if we didn't look at it that way, if we just looked at it the way of, once your basic needs are covered, then you're free to express yourself in a much more natural way without desperation.
01:23:02.000 And that desperation Doesn't always mean you're gonna make the best decisions, and it really would cost us less if we gave people money.
01:23:11.000 Okay, anyway, point being, this is an Alan Watts discussion where Alan Watts was making a speech about this from the 1960s.
01:23:20.000 So it was more than 50 years old, I think, somewhere around 50. Point being, it's entirely possible that this recording that I'm making right now,
01:23:36.000 someday somebody might listen to 50 years from now, 100 years from now, 200 years from now, and they'll laugh.
01:23:43.000 They'll laugh at how wrong I got it, or maybe they'll laugh at how I called it.
01:23:47.000 And we will be living in some sort of a strange world where reality is not something that you measure.
01:23:56.000 You can't take a ruler to it or measure the temperature of it or put it on a scale.
01:24:03.000 It might be something that exists in some sort of a quasi-reality setting.
01:24:11.000 Where it's real, you're experiencing it, but it doesn't exist in a physical form.
01:24:18.000 That's entirely possible.
01:24:21.000 That that's our future.
01:24:22.000 It's entirely possible that we, through technology, figure out a way to create not just an alternative dimension, but infinite alternative dimensions.
01:24:36.000 Infinite alternative existences.
01:24:39.000 So this idea that we're just going to...
01:24:42.000 Get to a certain point where we realize that we could build a spaceship the size of the Empire State Building and fucking shoot off the Alpha Centauri and set up shop there and find some snails and turn them into people.
01:24:56.000 I don't think so.
01:24:58.000 I don't think we're going to be traveling.
01:25:00.000 I don't think that's the future.
01:25:03.000 I think we may, for the next foreseeable future, for the foreseeable future, we might be sending robots to Mars like we're doing now.
01:25:12.000 We might send them off to Pluto and to these other planets.
01:25:14.000 We might get invaluable data about the nature of our solar system.
01:25:19.000 There's this planet that they think is outside of Pluto's orbit.
01:25:24.000 Past the Kuiper belt now, they're calling it Planet X, and people have talked about this forever.
01:25:29.000 There's some giant ass planet out there that's, I think it's more than four times larger than Earth, and they're pretty sure it exists, like 90-something percent sure.
01:25:38.000 Yeah, and that's all awesome and fascinating and amazing and beautiful, but I have a feeling that our future doesn't exist in a physical sense the way we think it does.
01:25:47.000 I think we're married to this idea because it's all we've ever known, but I don't necessarily think It's all we're capable of.
01:25:56.000 I think it's entirely possible that one day we might create a whole new world.
01:26:03.000 And this also might be possible with the advent of artificial intelligence.
01:26:10.000 Artificial intelligence is another fucking rabbit hole because if you want to get your mind blown, listen to, I don't think it was the last one.
01:26:20.000 I think Sam Harris and I have talked about it twice.
01:26:24.000 We talked about it on, I think, the last podcast and maybe even more in depth, the podcast before.
01:26:30.000 It might be both of them.
01:26:31.000 I'd have to go back and remember.
01:26:33.000 I've done more than 800 fucking podcasts now, so Even though my memory's pretty decent, I really lose track of which one was what and what was happening when, The point being, the conversation that I had with him about artificial intelligence was a mind-blower,
01:26:51.000 a real mind-blower, where it's, in my eyes, it's one of those things, just like we're talking about technological innovation.
01:27:01.000 I think everyone would say, everyone, I mean just conservative, People that are dreamers.
01:27:09.000 If we start talking about the potential for the future, is there going to be innovation?
01:27:15.000 Yes.
01:27:16.000 Everyone would say yes.
01:27:17.000 Everyone.
01:27:18.000 Everyone would say yes.
01:27:19.000 If people don't blow themselves up, If we don't get hit by an asteroid, if Yellowstone doesn't explode and wipe out everyone in North America, will we continue to make better electronics?
01:27:31.000 Will we continue to innovate?
01:27:33.000 Will we continue to make new inventions?
01:27:36.000 Everybody would say yes.
01:27:37.000 Everybody.
01:27:38.000 Well, if that's the case...
01:27:41.000 Artificial intelligence is almost inevitable.
01:27:44.000 If it's 100 years from now, if it's 200 years from now, whatever it is, one day, eventually, they're going to figure out a way to make something that can think for itself.
01:27:53.000 Tesla has fucking cars that drive themselves now.
01:27:57.000 You can press auto drive, or whatever the button is that you press, And these fucking things will drive.
01:28:03.000 They hit the brakes.
01:28:04.000 They make turns.
01:28:05.000 They follow the navigation system.
01:28:07.000 They have sensors that detect cars.
01:28:09.000 They brake at traffic.
01:28:11.000 I mean, it's fucking nuts.
01:28:13.000 And it's just crept up on us.
01:28:15.000 Nobody saw this coming 10 years ago.
01:28:17.000 Nobody thought in 10 years.
01:28:19.000 Nobody thought in 2006, 10 years from now, we're going to have driverless cars.
01:28:24.000 Cars that you take your hand off the wheel.
01:28:26.000 There's a hilarious photo of a guy They snapped pictures of him on the highway, I think it was outside of San Francisco, where he was asleep, asleep at the wheel, going to work, and his car was driving down the highway.
01:28:39.000 This is all new, right?
01:28:42.000 And what is it going to be like 10 years from now?
01:28:45.000 I don't think we know.
01:28:46.000 I think we could guess, I think we could have beautiful ideas, but I think when every new invention gets created, and every new door that gets opened up by new technologies, It creates the potential for a gang of other exponentially increasing new technologies.
01:29:07.000 So, with artificial intelligence, I think it's entirely possible that we can Literally create something that creates universes.
01:29:21.000 Something that creates universes that don't exist in a physical sense, like you go to the moon, you pick up moon rocks, you come back to Earth, but rather something that exists in Another dimension.
01:29:34.000 That we find portals or gateways or that we find frequencies.
01:29:40.000 I've always thought that it's possible that planets themselves or that, rather, reality itself is like a station on the dial.
01:29:50.000 And I've read that scientists believe that there are at least 11 dimensions I don't know how they understand this.
01:30:00.000 That's when they get to those yellow legal notepads where those guys scribble shit down on it.
01:30:06.000 What the fuck is that?
01:30:08.000 But you have to be a theoretical physicist in order to understand what the fuck they're writing.
01:30:13.000 I think those guys have come up with some equation that they all agree upon, where they believe that it is entirely possible that there are 11 dimensions, at least.
01:30:27.000 And this is today, in 2016, right?
01:30:30.000 If you ask scientists in 1955, they'd probably look at you like you have fucking three heads.
01:30:35.000 That's a blink of an eye.
01:30:38.000 1955 compared to 2016, it is a blink of an eye.
01:30:42.000 It seems like 60 plus years for us, but it ain't shit in terms of the world, in terms of human history, and in terms of the evolution of this bizarre talking monkey.
01:30:57.000 It's nothing.
01:30:58.000 And in that time, things have changed in spectacular ways.
01:31:03.000 I think it's entirely possible that through especially the invention and innovation of artificial intelligence and its ability to innovate, Its ability to improve upon ideas that human beings have created,
01:31:18.000 because that was one of the most mind-blowing parts about the Sam Harris podcast, was he said that within weeks they will be able to do 10,000 plus years of what it would take us as far as innovation.
01:31:31.000 So the world will change so fast once artificial intelligence is, once it goes live, once Skynet goes live.
01:31:41.000 The world's gonna change so much that it's almost impossible for us to understand.
01:31:47.000 It's impossible for us to guess.
01:31:49.000 I'm standing up here now because I'm kind of freaking myself out.
01:31:55.000 And my throat is getting a little scratchy.
01:32:00.000 That's what I think about the Fermi Paradox.
01:32:03.000 I think that We're gonna outgrow this idea of being somewhere in a physical sense.
01:32:11.000 And I think that if there are aliens, they're gonna contact us through our own minds.
01:32:17.000 They're gonna contact us through dreams.
01:32:20.000 I mean, aliens might exist in the form of imagination.
01:32:25.000 Imagination itself might be like a kind of energy, almost like a life form.
01:32:32.000 If you look around at the world, Obviously imagination is something that comes out of the brain and people create things and the idea that it's a life form is ridiculous.
01:32:44.000 I get it.
01:32:44.000 Yes, you're right.
01:32:45.000 But the imagination is responsible for every single physical thing that human beings have ever created.
01:32:52.000 This building that I'm in right now came about because of the imagination.
01:32:56.000 The phone that I'm talking on came about because of the imagination.
01:33:00.000 Without the thought of these ideas, without someone saying, hmm, what would happen if we took this mud and turned it into a square and then dried it out?
01:33:10.000 Could we make a brick?
01:33:11.000 Ooh.
01:33:12.000 And then if I stack a brick on top of a brick, dude, I'm making a wall.
01:33:15.000 And that all came out of the mind.
01:33:18.000 It came out of an idea.
01:33:21.000 How amazing would it be if we found out that those ideas themselves were alive?
01:33:29.000 That that is the way these life forms express themselves.
01:33:34.000 Much like the way disease expresses itself inside your body.
01:33:40.000 Like when you catch a cold, right?
01:33:43.000 You have a life form that's growing and feeding off of you.
01:33:48.000 And your body's out of balance.
01:33:50.000 Your immune system is battling this virus, this disease.
01:33:55.000 You could look at it on a microscope.
01:33:57.000 Ooh, look, it's the staph virus.
01:34:00.000 Or it's the flu virus.
01:34:02.000 Oh, it's malaria.
01:34:03.000 Ooh, he's got the malaria virus.
01:34:05.000 Well, what is that thing?
01:34:06.000 Well, that thing is a life form.
01:34:09.000 It's some sort of an existing living thing that's trying to multiply and grow and ultimately it would like to kill your body.
01:34:18.000 It would like to take your body over and it would love to spread itself to a bunch of other people and take out a bunch of folks.
01:34:26.000 And that's what happens every year with the flu or every year with malaria.
01:34:30.000 If you want a harrowing tale of what it's like to have malaria, listen to my friend Justin Wren.
01:34:35.000 Who's been on the podcast many times, who was just on the last episode, who goes to the Congo regularly to build wells for the pygmies.
01:34:44.000 Just an amazing guy, this beautiful person, who is doing this incredible thing and helping these people.
01:34:52.000 But this motherfucker's caught malaria three times now.
01:34:55.000 It's scary shit.
01:34:56.000 Malaria is some sort of a weird life form, right?
01:35:01.000 What if ideas were life forms?
01:35:03.000 They're just life forms that exist in a non-physical way.
01:35:06.000 And you can make yourself more accessible.
01:35:10.000 You can catch these ideas better.
01:35:12.000 You can catch these life forms.
01:35:14.000 You can catch these things that will ultimately lead to the transformation of the very world around you.
01:35:22.000 We're good to go.
01:35:40.000 That imagination is something that you can't measure.
01:35:44.000 It's not a physical thing.
01:35:46.000 You can't show it.
01:35:47.000 You don't take a litmus test.
01:35:50.000 You can't go to the store and, hey, I tested positive for imagination.
01:35:53.000 No, it's just there, and you access it, and you sit around, you daydream, and you lay on your back in the grass, and you come up with an idea.
01:36:02.000 What the fuck is that?
01:36:05.000 We don't know.
01:36:06.000 We don't know.
01:36:07.000 We totally take it for granted.
01:36:08.000 But if you look around at this fucking spectacular world that you see in front of you when you step outside of your house, this bizarre world, that if you lived in a natural world, if you lived in a jungle or if you lived in a mountain setting and you had never seen human civilization,
01:36:26.000 you were confronted with it for the first time, you would freak the fuck out.
01:36:31.000 You would be like, what?
01:36:33.000 That kind of bizarre thing is creating these enormous structures with glass and stone and on a scale that is, it is impossible to comprehend a human being creating a skyscraper.
01:36:51.000 One person?
01:36:52.000 No, no, no.
01:36:53.000 They had to work together.
01:36:53.000 How many people?
01:36:54.000 Hundreds.
01:36:55.000 Okay.
01:36:55.000 How'd they do it?
01:36:56.000 They have metal.
01:36:57.000 They use machines.
01:36:58.000 What?
01:36:58.000 Machines.
01:36:59.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:37:00.000 They have combustion engines.
01:37:02.000 What's that?
01:37:02.000 Well, they're explosions.
01:37:04.000 It's controlled explosions inside of a metal structure that powers these gears.
01:37:09.000 And these gears can lift up things, thousands of pounds, and carry them through the air.
01:37:14.000 And then they put these glass walls on top of these buildings.
01:37:17.000 Like, what the fuck?
01:37:20.000 This is all because of the imagination.
01:37:22.000 And this idea that the imagination is just some sort of like, oh, he's imagining things.
01:37:30.000 Oh, silly.
01:37:30.000 He's a dreamer.
01:37:32.000 It's been kind of put in our head since we were young because we're taught to be pragmatic or we're taught to be disciplined and taught to go out there and get things done and pull yourself up by your bootstraps and all these like hardcore sort of I don't know what the word I'm looking for,
01:37:50.000 organic ways of looking at productivity in life, but ultimately this imagination is gonna lead us to create something that can change the very nature of what life is.
01:38:08.000 So if that made any sense at all to anybody but me, I'd be fucking shocked.
01:38:14.000 But that's my answer.
01:38:16.000 God damn, that was a long-ass fucking answer.
01:38:19.000 It is almost 7 o'clock here, and I've got to leave soon, so maybe I'll answer one more.
01:38:27.000 Thoughts on the Putin-Russia-Trump implications around the Democratic Party WikiLeaks email reveals.
01:38:33.000 I think that people were saying that Trump was going to get in trouble because he told Russia to hack Hillary Clinton's emails or hack the Democratic Party Party WikiLeaks emails,
01:38:49.000 that's ridiculous.
01:38:50.000 That is really ridiculous.
01:38:52.000 I think that is one of the dumbest things.
01:38:55.000 This idea that Trump should somehow or another be accountable and held accountable for espionage.
01:39:02.000 How about the fact that the Democrats were plotting against one of their own?
01:39:08.000 How about the fact they were working towards getting Hillary Clinton to be the nominee for the party?
01:39:16.000 They're working towards that.
01:39:17.000 They're supposed to be impartial.
01:39:19.000 He's a Democrat, too.
01:39:20.000 And they were actively trying to make her Be the representative for the party.
01:39:29.000 And then when the woman who has to step down because of the emails, she has to step down because it's revealed that they were actively plotting to get Bernie Sanders in, or excuse me, Hillary Clinton in over Bernie Sanders.
01:39:43.000 She, after she steps down, immediately gets hired by Hillary Clinton.
01:39:48.000 Like immediately.
01:39:49.000 It's so transparent, it's hilarious.
01:39:53.000 I think what I was saying earlier, that one of the good things about a guy like Gary Johnson is we're realizing how stupid this fucking two-party system is.
01:40:02.000 We're being hosed.
01:40:03.000 Whether you're a Hillary supporter or whether you're a Trump supporter, you have to admit that they're not ideal.
01:40:10.000 Neither one of those people is ideal.
01:40:12.000 You see all those people that are at the Democratic convention and they're all smiling and laughing.
01:40:17.000 They don't really believe she's ideal.
01:40:19.000 They believe this is all we have right now.
01:40:23.000 Hillary Clinton was giving a speech and her fucking husband, Bill, fell asleep.
01:40:28.000 He fell asleep.
01:40:31.000 I mean, apparently he's not in good health right now.
01:40:35.000 He's not doing so hot.
01:40:36.000 But he's sitting there in the audience.
01:40:40.000 And if he's in such bad shape that he can't stay awake, he should be in bed somewhere.
01:40:47.000 He fell asleep in the audience.
01:40:50.000 That's how fucking boring and stupid these things are.
01:40:55.000 And it's a hose job.
01:40:57.000 And it's a hose job that I think is just gonna be here for a little while longer.
01:41:01.000 It's gonna be like powdered wigs.
01:41:04.000 It's a nonsense way to run a nation of 300 million informed people.
01:41:12.000 There's too many of us now.
01:41:14.000 There's too many of us and people know too much.
01:41:16.000 It's not 1800s where you needed this sort of representative government because you couldn't get to those people and they couldn't get their opinion to you.
01:41:26.000 It's not the case anymore.
01:41:28.000 We live in a different world.
01:41:32.000 That's it.
01:41:33.000 I'm going to end.
01:41:34.000 I'm going to end this fucking thing.
01:41:36.000 I'm going to try to get Ian McCall on and either I'll attach it to this podcast or I'll put it on a second one, depending on how much Ian and I talk, but this one has gone for an hour and 34 minutes.
01:41:52.000 I was like, what the fuck am I going to talk about?
01:41:55.000 Meanwhile, I couldn't shut the fuck up.
01:41:57.000 It's weird when I'm doing these things because You're trying to not be conscious of the fact that you're doing one of these things.
01:42:03.000 So you're just trying to let the thoughts flow.
01:42:06.000 But in the meantime, it's like you have to resist the urge to think about the fact that you're talking.
01:42:12.000 And that you're talking into a phone, and that you're trying not to fuck it up, and you're trying to be as honest and transparent about your thoughts as possible, while still making it entertaining, don't say too many ums, don't ramble too much, is weird.
01:42:28.000 I've done these before in the past, but I haven't done one like this in a long time.
01:42:32.000 It just shows you how talented Bill Burr is, because that fucking guy does one of these Every Monday and every Thursday.
01:42:38.000 Bill Burr, if you haven't heard his podcast, it's awesome.
01:42:41.000 It's the Bill Burr Monday Morning Podcast, but he also does a Thursday version of it, which I think he calls the Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast.
01:42:50.000 And honestly, Bill is...
01:42:54.000 He's a good friend of mine and a brilliant comedian, and he's also a guy who's singular in his focus, and I really admire him as a comic, and it's one of the things I was thinking about when I was thinking that maybe I would stop doing commentary.
01:43:07.000 I'm like, this fucking guy just does stand-up.
01:43:09.000 I mean, that's what he does.
01:43:10.000 He just does his stand-up, and look at the results.
01:43:13.000 They're amazing.
01:43:13.000 He's always got new shit.
01:43:15.000 He's always killing it.
01:43:16.000 I love watching his act.
01:43:18.000 He's consistently funny, but he's very singular in his focus.
01:43:23.000 Anyway, I'm rambling.
01:43:25.000 Bill Burr Monday Morning Podcast, check it out.
01:43:28.000 It's awesome.
01:43:28.000 If you haven't heard of Bill before as a comic, he's not just one of the best alive today, he's one of the best ever.
01:43:34.000 He's one of my all-time favorite stand-up comedians.
01:43:38.000 So with that, let's end this fucking thing.
01:43:42.000 So thanks for tuning in.
01:43:43.000 I may do this again, or I might be completely fucking burnt out.
01:43:48.000 Or I might freak myself out about how goddamn crazy I sound when I start rambling about artificial intelligence and the The birth of alternative dimensions and universes out of the mind of monkeys.
01:44:01.000 But, until then.
01:44:03.000 Alright, that's it.
01:44:04.000 Goodbye.
01:44:05.000 Thank you.
01:44:05.000 Appreciate the fuck out of people.
01:44:07.000 And talk to you soon.
01:44:08.000 Big kiss.
01:44:10.000 Thank you, everybody, for tuning into the podcast, and thanks to Caveman Coffee, even though I didn't drink it, because I'm here in my hotel room, and I just have their coffee, which is not as good.
01:44:20.000 Go to cavemancoffeeco.com and find out what's up.
01:44:24.000 Single source, single family, single origin, deliciousness.
01:44:28.000 Cavemancoffeeco.com.
01:44:30.000 Thanks to Ting.
01:44:31.000 Go to rogan.ting.com to save $25 off of any cell phone or service.
01:44:37.000 Ooh-wee!
01:44:39.000 Thanks also to ZipRecruiter.
01:44:44.000 Go to ZipRecruiter.com forward slash Rogan to post jobs on ZipRecruiter for free.
01:44:50.000 That's ZipRecruiter.com forward slash Rogan.
01:44:54.000 Thanks also to Ring.com.
01:44:57.000 Go to Ring.com forward slash Rogan and you can get 50 bucks off the Ring of Security kit.
01:45:04.000 That's Ring.com forward slash Rogan.
01:45:07.000 All right, folks.
01:45:09.000 That's it.
01:45:10.000 Podcast is over.
01:45:12.000 Oh, yeah.
01:45:13.000 Onnit.
01:45:13.000 Go to Onnit.
01:45:14.000 O-N-N-I-T. Use the code word ROGAN. Save 10% off any and all supplements.
01:45:18.000 I'm taking my Onnit total gut health right now.
01:45:23.000 That's the end of the podcast, folks.
01:45:24.000 Hope you enjoyed it.
01:45:25.000 I don't know if I'll ever do one of those again, but I did one because I said I was gonna.
01:45:30.000 So there I did it.
01:45:32.000 And I'll be back on Monday.
01:45:34.000 And next week should be really fucking fun and exciting.
01:45:37.000 We're going to have a presidential candidate, Gary Johnson, along with Doug Stanhope.
01:45:42.000 It was supposed to be on Thursday, the 4th, but it may now be moved to Friday.
01:45:47.000 We'll find out soon.
01:45:48.000 Neil Brennan, co-creator of The Chappelle Show, he'll be on as well.
01:45:51.000 That'll be on Wednesday.
01:45:52.000 And Wayne Fetterman, hilarious stand-up comedian and very, very smart guy.
01:45:56.000 He'll be there on Tuesday.
01:45:58.000 Good times, you fucks!
01:46:00.000 And then, of course, I'll be at the Ice House Friday night, and maybe I can talk Stan Hope and do a set with me, too.
01:46:07.000 All right, that's it, folks.
01:46:08.000 Thanks.
01:46:08.000 Appreciate the fuck out of you.
01:46:10.000 Bye-bye.
01:46:10.000 Big kiss.