In this episode, the boys talk about the new fanny pack and how it might be the next big thing in the world of carry-on bags and what it means to be a man in the 21st century. Fanny packs have been around for a long time and have become a staple of the modern man's bag. They re cheap, easy to carry around, and you ll never feel like you re missing out on anything! They re also a great way to keep your phone, keys, and wallet in your bag and keep it safe from the elements. If you don t already have one, you re in for a treat, because the boys have a special gift for you, the FANNY PACK! The boys also talk about their favorite fanny packs and why you should have one too! They also discuss the dangers of carrying your phone in a bag and why it s a good idea to keep it in your pants! We hope you enjoy this episode and remember to share it with a friend or family member who might need a good friend in need of a good bag! XOXO, EJ and the boys! P.S. Don t forget to leave us a rating and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts! Thank you so much for all the love and support we ve gotten through this journey so far this year, it s been a wild ride! See ya next year! - EJ & the boys are back with a new episode next week! Cheers! xoxo - The EJ, Brian and the EJ Crew! "The EJ Gang" - P.B. & the Ej Crew. -Jon & The Ej Gang! - Jon & the Fanny pack! Jon & The Fanny Pack - Brian & the Rat Pack - The Rat Pack. Jon and the Ratpack Brian & The Ratpack. . Jon Ben Evan Chad Cassie Jack Jake Chris Dan Joe Mark Mike Chet Andrew Will Daniel Darnell Michael Matt Danny Nick Dustin David Jeff Kevin Steve Sarah Ryan Shane Gorms Derek John
00:11:23.000Now, if you go to the top of the banana, you'll find, as were the soda can makers, they placed a tab at the top, so God has placed a tab at the top.
00:11:30.000When you pull the tab, the contents don't squirt in your face.
00:11:34.000You'll find the wrapper, which is biodegradable, has perforations.
00:11:38.000Notice how gracefully it sits over the human hand.
00:11:41.000Notice it has a point at the top for ease of entry.
00:11:43.000It's just the right shape for the human mouth.
00:11:45.000It's chewy, easy to digest, and it's even curved toward the face to make the whole process so much easier.
00:11:52.000Seriously, Kurt, the whole of creation testifies to the genius of God's creative heart.
00:12:33.000Well, it's like a delivery system trick.
00:12:35.000It's like there's seeds inside these plants, and if you eat it, it goes through your body, you shit it out, so it literally comes with manure.
00:12:43.000It's got a seed, it's got some manure, it's got shit, so the seed can grow in.
00:12:48.000It literally comes out with fertilizer.
00:12:51.000There's a way, especially with animals like undulates, like cows and stuff like that, they're shitting out almost like mulch.
00:14:15.000But it's just- if that's what you want to believe, if you really want to believe that God designed a banana so perfectly to let you know that it's food, explain coconuts.
00:17:36.000Like all these shows like Fox News and all the- there's- There's gotta be something to like the fact that propaganda being delivered by someone who is so hot you just want to stare at them.
00:19:15.000Were you telling me the thing about Trump and a television network?
00:19:19.000I was trying to remember where I heard it, and I think it was a radio show or something, but there's a lot of people he's at, like Sean Hannity, and I think the guy that's taking over his campaign that used to run Fox, are taking over his spot.
00:19:30.000I don't know how they're going to transition if he loses, but that a Trump news channel is going to be started up next year, at the end of this year.
00:19:53.000I mean, yeah, his dad gave him a big loan to start out with, but what the fuck ever.
00:19:57.000At the end of the day, that guy's ridiculously successful.
00:20:01.000If he wanted to open a television cable network and use that as a platform to set him up for four years from now, I don't like the kind of fucking shit that he would say about Hillary and other candidates that no one would have the balls to say.
00:20:18.000He takes it to this non-political place.
00:20:21.000You know, like he insults Hillary Clinton all the time.
00:20:55.000There's an uncomfortable sound that she makes when she speaks, when she gives speeches.
00:21:01.000They're not soothing, and they don't draw you in.
00:21:04.000Like, as much as she is way more qualified to be a leader than he is, right, knows way more about foreign policy, knows way more about how Washington works, she's deep, right?
00:22:38.000I don't know enough about the economic cycles, but I do know that the people that are smart that talk about it say that there's like these upturns and downturns that you can almost calculate.
00:22:50.000We have a weird economy, and that these people that are the experts, they can kind of predict how things start happening, and deregulation moves things along a little bit, and this moves things along, tax incentives moves things along a little further, but then somewhere along the line,
00:23:06.000the house of cards comes falling down.
00:23:08.000They say the big one was the mortgage crisis of 2008. We avoided an even bigger one with the commercial real estate crisis.
00:23:19.000They were saying that they were worried about that more than anything.
00:23:49.000Apparently there's like a lot of people that are like leveraging all these commercial properties and moving things around, selling things here, but there's a lot of vacant office shit.
00:23:59.000Well, there's this whole flip your house movement, too.
00:26:42.000Jim and Bobby Kelly lived in an apartment, and they had black mold on the wall so bad that you would take the picture off the wall, and it was just like you could see it all over behind the picture.
00:26:58.000I think if there's water, like if you have water damage, like say if you have a leaky pipe or something like that for long periods of time, see that shit dripping down?
00:28:26.000Yeah, fungus and mold and shit like that, it's just so weird.
00:28:30.000There's like these life forms that live on life forms, you know?
00:28:34.000They're like, you leave a pair, leave it sitting around somewhere and forget about it, come back in a couple of days, and it's got this little green civilization growing on it.
00:30:16.000May have invisible bacteria along with the mold.
00:30:18.000Yes, some molds cause allergic reactions, respiratory problems, and a few molds in the right conditions produce mycotoxins, poisonous substances that can make you sick.
00:31:52.000Yeah, that feels like you're communicating with like...
00:31:56.000It's like you tap in through this organism to this matrix of like...
00:32:02.000Not just like plant intelligence, but the intelligence of the actual Earth itself.
00:32:08.000It feels almost like you're being transmitted in a way where you can now understand all these things that are around you all the time, but they're muted because you just lack the ability to perceive them.
00:32:19.000Like the Earth itself, like we walk around and we're like, wow, it's so pretty today.
00:32:23.000But you don't really feel what the Earth is.
00:32:28.000The way you feel it when you're on mushrooms.
00:32:30.000When you're on mushrooms, you feel the actual grass as like a type of an organism.
00:33:05.000I mean, that's not even a hallucinatory sort of feeling.
00:33:09.000But I think pretty much everybody that does any sort of psychedelic, plant-based psychedelic, like mushrooms, animal-based, whatever you want to call it, fungus-based...
00:33:19.000You reach these weird places where you go, okay, am I talking to that thing?
00:33:46.000It's like you'll be so connected to the universe and you feel it and you just try to remember what happened.
00:33:52.000You try to stay in that, but it goes away.
00:33:55.000And it's amazing because you're out in the desert, or at least that's where I normally do it, and you're looking at the rocks and the moon and the stars are just beaming out there.
00:34:05.000And you'll feel, you know, as lost in the universe as ever.
00:34:09.000And then all of a sudden you'll hear like one of your buddies fart.
00:34:11.000You'll come back and laugh for 20 minutes straight about it.
00:36:00.000Like, my buddy Little Landy with the glasses, he's from South Carolina, and he went home to visit his family, and he's walking around the park with his mom, and Bill Murray's just sitting on a bench.
00:37:30.000My point was about Asheville, is that there were so many kids getting high off mushrooms, off of these cows, because they're up in this farm area, and it's raining all the time.
00:37:43.000And these mushrooms just grew like weeds everywhere.
00:37:46.000And it was so bad that they had to give the cows food, special food that made their manure so that the mushrooms, if they did grow in them, they wouldn't be potent.
00:38:02.000I remember when we were in college, we'd go to certain places and get trash bags worth of mushrooms because some areas, just because of the weather and the farms and stuff like that, it just grew mushrooms like crazy.
00:38:14.000You've got to be so careful, though, with mushrooms, like what you're taking.
00:38:18.000Like, if you think it's one kind of mushroom, but it's another kind of mushroom, there's some mushrooms that'll kill you in seconds.
00:38:25.000That happened recently on this old folks' home.
00:38:28.000These old folks were hanging out and this lady went out and gathered up some mushrooms.
00:38:33.000She's probably out of her fucking head on...
00:38:35.000You know, what kind of Alzheimer's medicine or anything they give them.
00:38:39.000Like, when you're in old folks' homes, dude, they will throw some pills down your throat.
00:40:22.000I'm gonna have someone on to talk about it, but there's no need to make anything else illegal.
00:40:27.000This thing where they're doing, what they're doing is they're behaving like an archaic society.
00:40:33.000They're not behaving like America 2016. They're behaving like the people who enacted the very first sweeping Psychedelic laws of 1970. They're behaving like they behaved.
00:40:46.000If you've got this plant, this kratom or however you say it, and it doesn't have any history of people dropping dead from it.
00:40:53.000It's not like some threat to the communities.
00:40:56.000It's not like this terror that's sweeping the streets and it's ruining lives.
00:41:02.000All I'm hearing is it helps people with heroin addiction.
00:41:05.000We all know how many people are addicted to heroin.
00:41:08.000So the fact that they just want to step in and immediately not just make this like a Schedule 2 or a Schedule 3 or have some scientists come in and testify about it and have some sort of public hearings where they discuss the merits of keeping this drug legal and should this be regulated?
00:42:39.000This is not anything that we should ever ask for from our leaders, in quotes, and definitely not anything we should ever tolerate for no reason whatsoever.
00:42:49.000There's no reason whatsoever why they would keep marijuana illegal.
00:42:53.000There's no reason whatsoever why they'd make this Kratom stuff Schedule 1. There's no fucking reason.
00:42:58.000It's a sure sign that it's a corrupt system.
00:43:02.000And if the Kratom stuff helps with alcohol withdrawals, then you've got to know that these big, you know, Why wouldn't they pitch them some money to be like, hey, let's keep people drinking?
00:43:15.000Even if they didn't do it blatantly, even if they didn't do it blatantly, if they're entangled with each other, you can best believe that if you are entangled with some sort of an alcohol company, you're going to do your best to maximize the profits of that alcohol company.
00:43:32.000If you're entangled with some donor to some political campaign or some foundation that you run, and they give millions of dollars, you guys have a little agreement going on there.
00:43:57.000You're going to do nice things for each other now.
00:44:00.000And that's where a lot of this shit comes from.
00:44:03.000The fact that we, the people, the people that are supposed to be represented by these clowns, can sit back and just be frustrated and not do anything.
00:44:14.000We can vote for it when it comes up in our states, but federally, it's a giant issue federally.
00:44:21.000Because there's a bunch of states now that made it legal, including Washington fucking D.C. There's a bunch of states that have made pot legal.
00:45:58.000Lee Carol Brooker, a 75-year-old veteran, served at a life sentence in prison without parole for being caught growing three dozen marijuana plants behind my son's house.
00:47:47.000There's this homeless guy that lives on the bench outside my Starbucks and he has gangrene or diabetes or something so bad that his legs are just like purple and black and I was behind him in Starbucks walking in and every time he took a step like this open sore would just like squirt blood on the floor of Starbucks.
00:48:06.000It was the grossest thing in the world.
00:48:30.000And they're around you, they're reaching their hands out.
00:48:33.000If you run into one of them kooky homeless people that doesn't bathe ever, and they have those dirty caked feet and they're wandering around, what I see is a mentally ill person.
00:48:44.000What I see is a failure of the healthcare system.
00:48:47.000How do you just let this person wander around like this?
00:48:50.000They're having conversations with themselves and rummaging through their fucking shopping cart.
00:48:54.000It's a very serious problem in LA. The other day I saw something gross right in my neighborhood too, like right at my intersection.
00:49:02.000I saw a homeless lady sitting on a bus bench, and it looked like she was wiggling her pants down a little bit, and she did, and she's just sitting on the bench, and you know, it has like those grates, it's not just like a solid bench, it goes through.
00:49:24.000I mean, all of a sudden, I'm just like, you know, amazing because you're looking at the amount of pee that's coming out of this human being.
00:49:33.000It's just sad because we just leave those people out there.
00:50:32.000I was with Jeff Ross when he taped his special, uh, Roast the Police, where we did, like, ride-alongs with the Boston Police Department during the winter, and these cops, they know all the homeless people, every single one of them,
00:50:48.000and they show genuine concern and, like, you know...
00:51:16.000It's pretty much what Boston cops are doing during the winter unless there's a crazy call.
00:51:20.000It's just a such a sad aspect of our society like the people that are just it's just for whatever reason whether it's a mental issue just doesn't click there's just something that's not clicking in there right and then just wandering around through the streets and there's no one with them.
00:52:33.000I like to think that they're smarter than us and then they're like talking to people that they can see that are actually there but we are...
00:52:42.000A former radio DJ suicidally despondent because of terrible mistakes he made finds redemption in helping a deranged homeless man who was an unwitting victim of that mistake.
00:53:17.000The car moves around a little bit left and right, but everything that's happening is happening on the screen in front of you.
00:53:24.000Like, the screen is this gigantic high-def screen where you're in a first-person perspective and, you know, it's taking on this wild, crazy, fucking, amazingly illustrated cartoon rut.
00:54:01.000Have you been to the Harry Potter thing yet?
00:54:03.000Yeah, the Harry Potter ride's amazing.
00:54:04.000It's so weird because I live next to Universal and you're just driving and now there's a castle that you just drive by and you're like, what?
00:57:31.000People find reasons to attach numbers and meanings to things, but it's totally possible that they know our...
00:57:38.000I mean, obviously they know 9-1-1 is for emergency, that they did it on 9-1-1 because of that, but it would have made any difference if it was 9-9 or 9-10.
00:57:46.000It was a devastating attack and tragedy.
00:59:54.000But also, I feel like a lot of those guys have families now and stuff, and they might calm down a little bit, but I'm sure they have to get stoned.
01:00:37.000That was the one where the guy was trying to wave to his girlfriend, came around with the boat, and he hit the ground and killed a ton of people.
01:03:23.000You don't even have to skin it, you just gut it.
01:03:25.000You know, they're finding out that a lot of those tropical fish are making their ways into the waters around Southern California because of the global warming.
01:03:34.000So they're having like yellowfin tuna or all over Southern California waters.
01:03:38.000You used to have to go to like Hawaii to catch those things.
01:05:11.000Dude, there's some fucking creepy people out there, man.
01:05:14.000There's a cruise ship website, like cruiseshipreports.org or something like that, and it tells you every time there's a problem with a cruise ship, and it's shocking how many there are.
01:05:23.000There's problems all the time, and it shows how many people died and stuff, and why, and how.
01:05:28.000How often do people die from cruise ships?
01:05:29.000A lot of crazy shit happens on cruise ships.
01:08:26.000You're driving down the road, listening to Led Zeppelin, and you hit this stupid fucking cunty forest horse, and it goes flying through your windshield and kicks your brains out.
01:09:55.000They didn't know that a coconut wasn't alive.
01:09:58.000If something came out of the sky and killed your friend, and you were so stupid that you didn't even have clothes yet, that's probably the first people that figured out they could eat coconuts.
01:10:06.000Those had to be like the first balls, right?
01:10:16.000Dude, I saw a demonstration the other day.
01:10:18.000We've showed demonstrations of that Line-X stuff before, but this was the most ridiculous one.
01:10:22.000Line-X is this plastic stuff that they can spray on things, and they spray it on the undercarriages of some trucks and four-wheelers that go out into the country.
01:10:32.000Those dudes do those four-wheel crawl fucking things and smash them up against rocks.
01:12:28.000People that want a really heavy-duty application of their trucks are going to drive in the woods and branches are going to smack up against it all the time.
01:12:37.000They just spray their whole truck with this shit.
01:14:13.000It would definitely protect you more from accidents than not having it, for sure.
01:14:17.000It would definitely make it harder for an impact to get...
01:14:21.000If your car has a certain thickness of steel on the door, and you had double that thickness, I would just assume that would be safer, right?
01:14:33.000Well, it makes you wonder, like, if it caves in, then that also absorbs a lot of the energy, but if you bounced off, it seems like there'd be more snapping of your head and everything.
01:14:57.000It just makes sense that if it was a thicker, stronger material, like if you were driving around in a tissue paper car, you'd feel real nervous, right?
01:15:03.000It just seems to reason that if you would get a thicker and thicker gauge of metal.
01:15:07.000So if you took like the regular gauge metal that they have on like a Chevy Silverado or something like that, and you sprayed this Line-X shit over it, this has got to make it stronger.
01:15:17.000If that's what it does with a watermelon off a 450-foot tower, What was, you remember Saturn's where you couldn't scratch them, you could kick them, and they'd, you know, never...
01:15:31.000Wouldn't that be, like, a safety hazard then, if it was plastic?
01:15:35.000No, no, because as long as it's strong, like, plastics can be really fucking strong.
01:15:40.000Like, there's certain types of plastics, like certain types of composite fibers that are, like, technically plastics that are ridiculously strong.
01:15:49.000Like, they use resins, and they have these types of plastics That they can, you know, they can make plastic where you can make a plastic knife, where you could kill somebody with it.
01:16:01.000That was probably such a good feature of that car.
01:16:03.000I loved my Saturn, and when I sold it, it was like 12 years old, and it looked like the day I bought it, like brand new, because it didn't scratch or denture.
01:20:46.000So many things are wrong with it right now.
01:20:47.000Did you ever see that, uh, remember when those Fisca Karmas blew up?
01:20:52.000The Fisca Karma was that dope-looking, space-age electric car that actually had a solar panel on the roof, and that solar panel on the roof charged up your radio, so your radio wasn't draining the battery as you were driving around.
01:21:06.000And they were cool-looking cars, like definitely the best-looking out of all the electric cars.
01:21:11.000And they left a bunch of them on a dock in Brooklyn, I think it was, or no, North Carolina or something like that?
01:22:32.000I saw Bieber driving that car once, and that should be illegal because you ever see that episode of Chips where there was a truck driving a bunch of mirrors and the sun hit the mirrors and all these people were flying off the freeway?
01:23:58.000It's a super expensive car, and it's a super space-age car, but you look at it, it's like 0 to 60 in comparison to other cars that BMW makes, like the M4, and look at its track time or trackability.
01:24:32.000I mean, it probably goes fast in comparison to a lot of shit.
01:24:34.000But if you compare the numbers, I bet, to like between that and like a Porsche 911 or something like that, it's probably not even close.
01:24:42.000Kevin did his Tesla like 0 to 70 while I was in the car and I've been in like your cars before in the past but it went like three seconds and there was no engine sound so it kind of freaked you out.
01:24:53.000It was like being on a roller coaster.
01:25:29.000This whole episode has been a long commercial for this car.
01:25:34.000That is dope, though, that the fucking car, I mean, especially in L.A. In L.A., that means you can drive that thing around all the time because it's always sunny.
01:25:43.000So if that thing actually can power the car, that's amazing.
01:26:12.000If they really did figure that out, it's over.
01:26:15.000If you can figure out a way to make a car run, especially here where it's sunny every day, just on solar power, and you can listen to your radio, there's no restrictions, and if you're stuck in traffic, not only is it not draining your battery, it's probably better because it's not using up much energy,
01:26:31.000but it's just being blasted by the sun and recharging.
01:26:44.000If they really could figure out how to do that, that would be amazing.
01:26:48.000I mean, that would, at least around here, in like Arizona, and places like Colorado, places where it's sunny, they would put other cars out of business.
01:26:57.000It doesn't seem possible, though, because that's such a small solar panel that I didn't think was that powerful enough to actually power a car.
01:27:04.000I think solar panels are getting more efficient.
01:27:08.000Well, I know that Elon Musk has this new solar bank thing that they're doing for your house where they'll put solar in your house and the batteries themselves are so much smaller than they've ever been before.
01:27:44.000It's just a matter of time before that stuff gets better and better and better to the point where, I mean, you could probably wind up doing it in Seattle with what minimal sun comes through the clouds.
01:27:56.000They're going to keep making these things better, just like they've done with everything else, whether it's televisions or cell phones or cars themselves.
01:28:03.000Cars today, dude, this is the golden era for automobiles.
01:28:08.000People look back and say, oh, nobody designs cars like they did in the 60s to look at.
01:29:46.000I thought that was a 69. Maybe they did something different to the bumper.
01:29:49.000Because a 70, it let go right above it.
01:29:51.000Go to right above it, the black one, sorry.
01:29:53.000That's one too, but that black one, that's a 70. See how the bumper goes around the top, all the way around like a fish with its mouth open?
01:30:02.000I think that other one is a 69, that far left one, but that far left one is fucking beautiful.
01:36:26.000You know, I watched this video once of this car.
01:36:30.000It was on a snowy road, and they were driving in one direction, and there's a semi driving in the other direction, and the car on the snowy road starts fishtailing, and they lose control of the car, and they go right into the oncoming lane and get hit by a semi and literally disintegrate.
01:36:45.000It is one of the best examples of how fleeting life can be.
01:36:49.000Like, you're watching these people, they're driving this car, and then it goes sideways, and then, zoom!
01:36:54.000They're facing the truck, and the truck hits them head-on, 60 miles an hour.
01:37:31.000Oh, you're just hanging like in his apartment.
01:37:32.000Yeah, he has like a real state-of-the-art one like the newest newest newest and he helped design it all this stuff like he like got to like play architect with it like I want this there I want to counter their chairs there make those captain chairs instead of couches and it was just It was like being in the future because you're moving in a house that It doesn't feel like it's moving.
01:37:56.000So does he stay in hotels or does he just stay in his tour bus all the time?
01:37:58.000Stays in the tour bus, has a master bedroom, has everything.
01:38:02.000You don't ever need to do anything again.
01:38:04.000What a weird relationship he has with that guy who drives him around now.
01:38:07.000The guy that drives him around is a second generation tour bus driver.
01:38:33.000And it's the best thing ever because you know how after a show we have to go back to the hotel and then the next morning you have to get up and go to the airport and that takes an hour and then you have to spend an hour there early.
01:38:45.000He leaves the venue and immediately outside of whatever the closest back door is is the door to his bus which is the house So then you leave the venue and you're immediately at your own after party.
01:38:59.000You're immediately where you want to be.
01:39:01.000Whoever you invite can come with you, but you leave then.
01:39:04.000And that driver drives all night to wherever you want him to.
01:39:07.000And you wake up the next morning in your bed.
01:39:12.000Instead of waking up at a hotel and having to go to the airport, and then having to get on the plane, and then having to get out of LAX or wherever you are, you just walk out that door that you walked in from the venue, you walk out the door again, and you're at your house.
01:40:45.000You know, I've gotten to like meet all my heroes.
01:40:47.000Ron White's been hanging out like an animal at the store, which is Super surreal because it was him and Brian Regan were our Comedy Central guys growing up.
01:40:54.000You know, that's sort of like all you had that wasn't on HBO. So, like, you know, it was a super surreal weekend because he was very Ron White-esque.
01:41:16.000So, like, if there's ever a dull moment, he can pretty much say anything, and it's funny, because it's just sort of like, you know, and it's just boom.
01:42:57.000It's interesting, because he's one of those guys that, like, I feel like Bill Burr and Chappelle are always in the thing, you know what I mean?
01:43:36.000Like, Mitch's jokes were all, like, surreal weirdo jokes, you know?
01:43:40.000There's been a lot of people like that.
01:43:43.000Like, Jerry Seinfeld, perfect example, you know?
01:43:45.000Not only was he clean, like, he didn't even ever touch on controversial subjects.
01:43:51.000I had to follow him at the comedy store a few weeks ago talking about Mitzi Shore and how she has Parkinson's and she said he wasn't funny three decades before.
01:44:55.000Well, you know, this is the sixth roast that I've written for, the third one that I've been a staff writer on, and it's always interesting when someone gets booked, you know, what's gonna happen, blah blah blah blah, and Ann Coulter was one of the last bookings that we had, and We're good to go.
01:46:18.000You go back and forth via emails, and then all of a sudden all the good stuff is cut out, and there's bad stuff, and some of the stuff's rewritten.
01:49:04.000And one of the really funny things is that he changed his immigration policy, like, tweaked the tone of it the day before that book came out, and it sort of, like, messed things up.
01:49:34.000He's saying the Mexicans have to leave and they're going to have to go through the proper channels in order to legally immigrate to the United States.
01:49:41.000You're going to have to go back to Mexico first.
01:49:54.000That there is like a literal 0% gross migration from Mexico.
01:50:02.000Like, the amount of people that come over here from Mexico versus the amount of people that leave here and go to Mexico, it evens out.
01:50:10.000There's like a zero percent migration.
01:50:13.000That sounds like a study written by a Mexican.
01:50:18.000Well, I was wondering whether or not it takes into account illegal immigration, and if it does, how could they possibly know what the numbers are?
01:51:12.000Because the best way to get people to work for a buck a day in some fucking Under Armour factory or Nike factory or whatever they do down in Japan, which is totally legal, you know, if they want to do that down in Mexico or...
01:51:25.000Yeah, I mean a bunch of companies make shit down in Mexico and the reason why they do it is they bring jobs to impoverished communities These people get a chance to make money more than they ever would have made on their own without these plants But they're working for significantly less than they would if they were living in the United States So it gets it gets real weird.
01:51:45.000It's like Is it better for them than it used to be?
01:51:53.000Well, is it okay for a company to keep people in a position where they're never going to be in as good a position as they would if they were working in the United States with our laws?
01:57:16.000So 300 of them died because they were all in a rainstorm and they were all on wet grass and the electricity hit, the lightning bolt hit and they all got cooked.
01:57:47.000You really stop and think about the fact that there are these things that float in the sky and out of them come impossibly powerful beams of electricity that split trees down the middle and cook people.
01:58:00.000My friend Remy, who I was talking about earlier, where his dad owns that Line-X place, he got hit by lightning when he was in high school.
01:58:09.000And he, uh, he talked about it on the podcast, and he said it was just, like, he didn't even realize what happened until after it happened, like, way after it happened.
01:58:17.000He was just trying to come to, try to figure out why the fuck he was on the ground, and, like, what happened?
01:58:23.000Your whole system just gets barbecued!
01:58:26.000Where I'm from in Youngstown, Ohio, we had this old legendary guy called Green Guy, and he got struck by lightning as a kid and literally was green forever.
01:59:27.000And he went up to it and poked it with his knife.
01:59:31.000And immediately exploded in electricity.
01:59:34.000He lost his arm, lost his vision, lost, I think it lost his hearing, might have lost one of his legs.
01:59:39.000Just got hit with an impossible bolt of electricity because the bear had dug into a power wire and bitten into the power wire and he just, by touching it with his knife, he just tapped right into that power and blew his arm completely off of his body.
02:03:42.000Like, one of the first drafts of the Declaration of Independence, they wrote it on hemp, because hemp paper was real common.
02:03:48.000But then they came up with a more economically efficient way to process cotton, and hemp fell off.
02:03:56.000Then when slavery became abolished, hemp really fell off.
02:04:00.000Because, you know, it wasn't economically feasible until the 1930s.
02:04:05.000In the 1930s, they invented this thing called the decorticator.
02:04:08.000And the decorticator allowed them to, like, really effectively and almost instantly process the hemp fire.
02:04:13.000It's this big crazy machine that you crank.
02:04:15.000And as soon as that came out, that's when William Randolph Hearst started running all those ads about black people and Mexicans smoking marijuana and raping white women.
02:04:24.000It was all just to try to stop the hemp industry.
02:04:27.000They turned it into a marijuana thing.
02:06:25.000And so Ann Coulter basically says that, you know, she doesn't like this joke, she doesn't like that joke, she rewrites this, she puts a pitch for a book at the top.
02:07:09.000Like, Jimmy Carr had this one joke, which I loved, which I'm gonna completely, you know, destroy right now, because I don't know exactly how he's set up, but it was something like...
02:08:40.000And the one thing Comedy Central did do, which is hilarious, is the reaction shots that they chose for her jokes, like when she was on stage, are hilarious.
02:08:53.000Like it just cuts to just people just...
02:08:58.000Well, she made her bones in the safest, softest world, which is the world of like political commentary where there's five different people and everybody's shouting over everybody and you don't have to say anything that's really relevant.
02:09:29.000That world that she stepped into is not just one of the hardest worlds.
02:09:34.000But for a person like her to go on after someone like Jimmy Carr and get crushed and then attempt to plug her book and all that jazz, I bet she has no idea what the average person's perception of her is.
02:09:48.000Because she's dealing with that bubble, that fucking talk show.
02:11:47.000One of the things she said right at the top of her set, you know, she's like, you know, as a feminist, I can't agree with everything that I've heard up here tonight, but as a person who hates Ann Coulter, she annihilated.
02:12:18.000Such a smart move to pair them up with comics and coach them through it.
02:12:22.000Oh, well, I mean, they wouldn't have a chance on their own.
02:12:24.000I know, but I mean, as far as like entertainment value, like it could have been a gross clusterfuck if you got to see their own real ideas.
02:13:53.000Like, if they see that you just sold, you know, millions of dollars worth of stocks the day or two before something absurd happens with that company, then, you know, it's sort of blatant.
02:14:03.000Did you ever see all that stuff that's connected to 9-11?
02:17:17.000But what's crazy is that to get it back up after going down, like, they have to go full steam all the way, engines that normally are actually pretty chill, because like a bird, they sort of just, you know, you don't have to go full blast.
02:17:31.000But when they do go full blast, shit gets crazy.
02:20:16.000We did a show at a theater, and then on Sunday we came back and did, I think what we did was, the fights were Sunday, because the fights were a day ahead, but they were Sunday in the morning.
02:20:28.000And so that day we contacted the comedy store and said, hey, we want to do a show.
02:20:31.000So we decided to do a show that night.
02:21:06.000Do you know what a cashed-up bogan is?
02:21:08.000You're going to have to learn this terminology.
02:21:10.000A cashed-up bogan is like a really rich redneck.
02:21:14.000If a guy in Dallas had a Jeep Wrangler with fucking 45-inch tires and a light bar on the roof, and he's driving by the club with music playing, and he's got a Rolex on with diamonds on it, but he's obviously trash.
02:23:38.000It's about a bunch of kids that go around and steal stuff from houses, and then they find out that there's this old Vietnam vet who...
02:23:47.000Who won a huge settlement and they have a feeling that he probably has it in cash and they show up to his house and, you know, he's blind, it turns out.
02:28:26.000I want to see it get bigger and breathe and let it grow and get the cameras right.
02:28:30.000How often should they have Ralphie Maybach?
02:28:34.000I don't think Ralphie will do it anymore.
02:28:36.000Do you think that they, like, the way they're doing it right now in these big environments, do you think that it takes anything away from it?
02:28:42.000Like, don't you think that, like, I was watching it, and I'm, like, looking at where the judges are and the performers are, and everything's all so lit up, and I'm like, this is not the belly room.
02:28:50.000Like, part of the beauty of Roast Battle is how intimate it is.
02:28:54.000You're preaching to the choir on that one.
02:28:55.000Why don't they just do it in the belly room?
02:28:58.000I mean, I'm the guy that literally, like, I mean, I've been annoying, you know, Jeff and Brian and everybody about this since they started it years ago.
02:29:05.000I literally was going, you should be doing with this show what we're doing with Kill Tony and just get it out there.
02:29:11.000I mean, if they put that thing on the internet...
02:29:18.000And you become a bigger fan as you see it more, and you learn the characters more.
02:29:25.000There's literally 75 UFC analogies with this thing, with Roast Battle, because there's different styles and all this stuff, and you sort of have to be good at everything.
02:29:34.000You have to be able to hit a rebuttal, and you have to be able to just do a joke right in the pocket.
02:29:40.000And, you know, it's timing and execution.
02:31:23.000So it's good for podcasts, because they kind of have to explain some of the battles, because a lot of the battles are inside jokes and stuff, and so that's why they have kind of cuts in between where they talk.
02:32:49.000I think they just get to go in and really perfect it.
02:32:52.000The little bit that I did watch last night, Joel Gallen, the EP of that roast, who's done every single roast, all the MTV video awards, he's a genius.
02:33:03.000And to get to see the reaction shots that he does match them up with, that you can only get halfway there live, but to see...
02:33:12.000You get more bang for your buck because you get the joke, Then you get the reaction from the person who was made fun of.
02:33:57.000So you like it, but what do you prefer?
02:34:01.000Really, honestly, I sort of like what we're doing right now.
02:34:04.000We really should just take over Mondays in the main room and commit to it and have special ones, you know, like a chill one, be in the belly room once in a while, just a throwback episode, because I'm starting to fall in love with the main room.
02:34:16.000And I think that if we keep doing it there, it's just going to keep getting bigger.
02:35:41.000And so they're just kind of picking and choosing what they want to steal, and they rebrand it.
02:35:48.000I was upset the first day or so, but like Tony said, let's just see what happens.
02:35:53.000Once Big Jay Oakerson and a couple other people were like, I think Ari hit me up, and it's like, yo, just let you know, Bennington guy's cool.
02:36:35.000You know, and limiting them to a minute, like, gives plenty of time for awkwardness, but it doesn't let it get completely out of control.
02:36:42.000And that's the part where they messed up.
02:36:44.000Like, if they were gonna do it, they made a huge fundamental mistake, because they just made it so that the comedian, I guess, can, like, just ring a bell at any point, which, of course, these New Yorkers...
02:38:07.000This is a climate of fakeness with auditions and meeting producers and all the bullshit that comes with trying to be a working actor in L.A. It definitely taints comedy.
02:38:18.000There's a lot of people that you all know that are semi-comedians that do a little stand-up here and there, but they never record anything, and they occasionally go on the road, but really what they do is they work as actors, and then they dabble in comedy.
02:39:09.000It depends on how much time you're getting.
02:39:11.000If you're doing 15 minutes at the Comedy Store, it's a decent amount of time.
02:39:16.000One of the problems with those short sets is you're doing five and seven minute sets and there's a bunch of people doing them.
02:39:22.000Those are really hard to get anything weird going.
02:39:25.000They're really hard to express points of view on things and elaborate on those points of view and have those points of view tie in with other ridiculous things that you notice in life.
02:39:35.000And I love New York comedians, don't get me wrong.
02:39:38.000I'm just hating on this show specifically.
02:39:40.000Like, what I heard of this show that's like the people said where they kill Tony ripoff is just a bunch of people ringing the bell immediately.
02:39:46.000Yeah, they don't even let the poor comic even do their first joke without them bashing them.
02:39:51.000Because they think it's funny to interrupt.
02:39:53.000And so, like, without that tension being built over 60 seconds, you don't know whether you like them, whether you hate them.
02:40:00.000You just know that this, you know, person on the panel is just being annoying.
02:40:05.000Well, when I do your show, it's always this weird combination of, like, I try to be funny, but there's part of me that just wants to give, like, actual advice.
02:40:14.000And then part of me wants to, like, let people know, like, whatever you're thinking is happening right now, like, whatever you think, like, this is work, this is a mess.
02:40:22.000Like, someone needs to explain this to you that this is all a mess.
02:40:26.000Last night we had people bombing one after the other, after the other, after the other, and you thought that the show was just Bombers Row, and then finally we go to the bucket one last time, and there was one, you know, this young black guy, 22 years old,
02:40:42.000that's been doing it for five years, fucking destroys, and you're like, holy shit.