Comedian Gabrielle Union joins Jemele to talk about his time working with Ron White and how he got his start on Comedy Central. He also talks about how he went from working in a bar to landing a job at Comedy Central and how it all came about. He also explains how he was able to get his start in comedy and what it takes to be on the show. And he talks about why he thinks Ron White is the greatest comedian of all time and why he doesn t care what other people think about him. This episode is a must listen and you won t want to miss it! Thanks to everyone who helped get Gabrielle started on his comedy career and all the people who have helped him along the way. He is one of the most genuine people I've ever met and I can t wait to see what he has to say next. I hope you enjoy this episode, it was a lot of fun and you enjoy listening to it. Thank you so much for all the support and support, I appreciate it so much. -Jemele xoxo Music: "Solo" by Jeff Perla and "Good Morning America" by Ian Dorsch (feat. John Singleton - "Don't Get Lost in My Head" by The Weakerthans by The Kneecaps & "Goodbye, My Brother" by John Rocha is out Now & We'll See You Soon (featuring Gabrielle) Thank You, Gabrielle "A Little Late" by Gabrielle & Anthony "A Good Morning, Good Night, Good Luck, I'll See Me And I'll Figure It Out Soon, Good Nights, Goodnight, Good Day, Good Rest, "By Me & Good Night & Good Day & Good Nights & Good Love, Good Blessings, Tonight, Good Love & Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, Bye Bye, Bye, So Soon, So Much Love, By Me And Good Nights And Good Night By Mr. Joe & I'll Hear Me & Bye, Ollie & I Can't See You & I'm Gotta See You Next Week, Ommie & See Me & I Love You, Thank You & Gotta Have It By Me & OOTY & I Will See You, OTC & FOOH & AYYY & YEAH & FOTY AND A FOSTHA
00:03:43.000And also seeing all these different stages.
00:03:46.000Like when you take a young guy on the road with you, or when you see a young guy do a really good set at the store, you recognize those moments where...
00:03:56.000When you were young, and you were just starting to figure your material out, and you were just starting to figure out how to really get to the heart of the matter quicker, or what's actually funny about this, what's clouding my judgement where I can't figure out how to get this funny, but occasionally these sparks shine through and you have a killer bit.
00:04:15.000Everybody knows a young guy who, in the early months, will have one bit.
00:04:20.000When you see that bit and you go, this motherfucker's funny.
00:07:11.000Yeah, we get that San Francisco newspaper, Just for Laughs.
00:07:15.000And at the end of Just for Laughs, the last three pages, they had a comedy guide from Alaska all the way to Wyoming of all the comedy club listings, whether they were one-nighters or not.
00:07:24.000And I'd just sit there and circle them in a notebook and do a line of coke and cry.
00:07:29.000Someday, someday I'll be at the fucking Rusty Crow.
00:07:34.000But that's when I went to Tony Hinchcliffe's show.
00:08:42.000Mr. T? Yeah, him and a bunch of other dudes on NBC, there was a show about either doormen or bouncers, and they did something, and that's how he was noticed.
00:11:30.000There's something about carving pathways in the brain.
00:11:34.000And obviously, if you're a neuroscientist and you listen to this, you're like, oh my god, this idiot doesn't know what the fuck he's talking about.
00:11:39.000But there's something about carving pathways.
00:11:53.000Stand-up like you see yourself on stage killing I've tried and I can't do it like positive realization No, I don't think it works with stand-up.
00:12:02.000I think we really don't know I think with stand-up The the key is doing it I tried I thought the reefer fucked me up, but I couldn't come to focus like the visualizations Yeah, like I couldn't see myself on stage like walking out and seeing like people go I could see myself coming out in the garden.
00:12:24.000Here's why I would try I would try not to think like that because if I if I visualized myself Doing something and doing it really well I wouldn't think of the thing I was doing anymore.
00:12:39.000Then I'm thinking of the accolades or the position it is, or look, you're on a big stage, and look, you're at this place, and you're at Massey Hall in Toronto or something, some historic venue.
00:12:55.000That seems like you're thinking more about What success really is, is if you're doing something and you try to do it, do it the best you can.
00:13:09.000So if I'm concentrating on the reaction, like I'm concentrating on going up there and killing, I would have to be visualizing doing a show.
00:13:18.000So I'd have to be visualizing people laughing.
00:13:38.000But you're not thinking about yourself then, right?
00:13:40.000So if you're visualizing skiing, you're thinking about skiing, right?
00:13:44.000You're thinking about tucking, you're thinking about doing your moves in the correct way, you get the most amount of speed, the most amount of controls, you're headed down this hill, right?
00:13:52.000You're not thinking about other people.
00:13:55.000You're not thinking about other people's response to each one of those things you do.
00:13:59.000Like, if every time you did a curve and you didn't get a laugh, you'd be like, what the fuck?
00:14:33.000I mean, I guess you could visualize the state that you feel in when you're killing, when you're really relaxed on stage and you're having a good time and everything's fun.
00:15:44.000You know, instead of thinking about that kind of shit, you just like you only have a certain amount of resources that your brain has available.
00:15:54.000And it's when you can stop thinking about like if you can just push any career ideas completely out of your head and just exist as a person.
00:16:06.000Then go and do stuff if you could figure out how to shut that off and go and do stuff for me at least It gives me like more ideas.
00:16:16.000I get more ideas that way and I get I feed my curiosity too It feels like I feed my curiosity in an honest way instead of thinking about Which is reading things that I would think would be funny on stage or reading stuff that I think would be funny to talk about in a podcast I just look at shit.
00:16:34.000That's interesting, you know Makes sense.
00:18:20.000That he goes, put that under your tongue, one or two drops, you're a big guy, right when you get home from jiu-jitsu and then take a shower.
00:18:47.000I fucked up and did too many sprays one of these once before a Sam Harris podcast and Sam was talking crazy shit about artificial intelligence and all this other, you know, every time I talked to that guy, he's a neuroscientist, very very smart guy.
00:22:27.000He just wants to spread jujitsu in the right way.
00:22:30.000And, you know, I don't think there's anything wrong with having a non-EBI rules event either, you know?
00:22:35.000Like, if somebody wants to do, like, what Metamorris is doing and have these long bouts, and if they go to draw at the end, they go to draw at the end, you know?
00:22:50.000Anybody could essentially start their own rules.
00:22:51.000Like Abu Dhabi, where Eddie choked out Hoyler.
00:22:54.000They had very interesting rules where the first period of the fight, there was no points.
00:23:00.000And it encouraged you to go for it, right?
00:23:03.000So you try to submit someone within the first half of the fight, or take it real conservative, which was another approach, and you play super defense for the first half of the fight.
00:23:14.000Then, in the second half of the fight, you can score points.
00:23:17.000So you score points for takedowns, score points for guard passes, near submissions, things like that.
00:23:23.000So I think their logic was that If they just have no points in the beginning, it doesn't matter if a dude mounts you, it doesn't matter if a guy takes you back, if you defend, if you're trying to attack him and go after him, sometimes you'd worry, if I don't get this guy, I might be so far behind in points,
00:23:39.000Like, if you just go for it, and you fuck up and you wind up in a bad position, then you defend that position, and then you get back to your feet, and then maybe the guy takes you down, that's a sequence of events that if you're counting takedowns and near submissions and things like that, can put you in this giant deficit.
00:23:53.000And if the guy's that good that he could do that to you, maybe you underestimated him and you'll never catch up to him.
00:23:59.000But you can find out if you just go for it.
00:24:02.000If you both go for it and you don't worry about points.
00:24:07.000So people just go for it in the beginning and then...
00:24:10.000The idea about the second half is that once you're establishing who's the better grappler, when two guys roll and they're trying to kill each other, you learn pretty quick who's better.
00:24:21.000And so then if no one's better, if it's just by a very, very, very slight edge, so if you've gotten to the second half of the fight and you're both in a neutral position, you both attacked, you both defended, and no one's had any sort of an upper hand, those last few minutes is what's really going to count because that's the few minutes where Your determination in training camp showed up.
00:25:20.000And there's no points, and if they make it into the final, or they make it past the time limit, then they go through these series of bad positions.
00:25:31.000Like one guy starts on the other guy's back, and he has over-under, and they go, ready, go, and you start from there.
00:25:36.000So one guy's got your back, and you have to defend it.
00:25:39.000And if you can tap him, then he has an opportunity to try the same position, and if he can tap you...
00:29:43.000Or, yeah, maybe they're taking their sweet time, they're going to breathe, they're going to relax, and then they're going to maybe try to explode back up to their feet.
00:29:50.000Or try to reverse you or try to stand up or something like that.
00:29:53.000But then there's guys like Vinny that are trying to break your arm.
00:29:57.000And that's immediately what he's going to go to.
00:31:13.000If this kid would grab ahold of you, he'd pull guard, he would creep his legs up over your shoulder, and before you know it, you were choking yourself to sleep.
00:31:22.000I don't remember how many fights he won by triangle, but it was so ridiculous, because everybody knew it, and he would go out there and he would do it.
00:31:29.000And everybody was like, just stay the fuck away from his triangle.
00:31:31.000Just stay the fuck away from his triangle.
00:32:53.000And this is an MMA where you can get punched...
00:32:56.000In Abu Dhabi, you can't even get punched.
00:32:59.000So you can get much deeper into positions and not worry about being vulnerable to strikes.
00:33:05.000So guys like Gary Tonin, who's like one of the best in the world right now, he's known for his leg locks and he attacks off his back all the time.
00:33:13.000So to think that that guy gets a negative point because he's attacking off of his back, to me, that's loony.
00:36:26.000I mean, I'm not that well-versed in Sambo, but there's two different styles of Sambo.
00:36:32.000A lot of times people confuse the two of them.
00:36:36.000One time I was watching a fight and they were talking about this guy's Sambo background and the commentator was saying that he didn't think that in Sambo there were strikes so he probably won't be as comfortable with getting hit because he's a Sambo guy.
00:36:53.000But what he didn't realize is he actually came from that combat Sambo background, which is the Fedor background.
00:36:58.000Which is where they would have these fights where...
00:37:05.000Like, it's high-level MMA, but they have judo jackets on and headgear, and they're kicking the shit out of each other, punching the shit out of each other.
00:37:13.000I mean, it is MMA, but there's also grappling, too, and they're aided by the thing.
00:39:55.000He's not gonna move out of the way of that water bottle?
00:39:58.000You know, I mean, what they decide to get upset about and what they don't decide to get upset about is what's weird about athletic commissions.
00:40:07.000You know, like one of the things they were talking about whether or not they were going to test Nate for his vape pen because he had a CBD vape pen.
00:40:19.000But it does alleviate some inflammation and it provides people that have like, you know, back pain or something like that, or especially after a long fight.
00:43:27.000Did you watch when Floyd Mayweather was doing, I believe it was for Showtime, they were doing one of those behind-the-scenes things at his gym, and he has what he calls doghouse fights.
00:43:43.000And let me just say that this kind of thing has been going on in gyms forever, right?
00:43:48.000They've always had gym wars, and people have even set up...
00:43:52.000This was a thing that I'm pretty sure became illegal in California fairly recently, within the last decade.
00:43:59.000They stopped allowing people to have what they call smokers.
00:44:02.000And what a smoker is, they have organized fights, but there's not really a lot of medical on hand.
00:44:18.000They would set up like these little plastic lawn chairs.
00:44:21.000You'd pay a small amount of money, you know, like 30 bucks or something like that, and you'd go and you'd watch all these amateur fights, and a lot of times kids are pretty fucking talented, and it's fun to watch.
00:44:30.000So they've always had organized gym fights.
00:44:33.000So essentially, what Floyd Mayweather did was have his own in-house gym fights, like amateur fights.
00:44:41.000They didn't even disguise the fact that it was a competition.
00:45:32.000Beats up Hasim Rahman's one brother, and then the mom comes back with the bigger brother, and the English guy fights him too, all on the same day.
00:45:45.000And they're fighting like these 30-minute rounds.
00:47:51.000It's like all of a sudden Maidana was fighting a totally different guy.
00:47:54.000Like Floyd had figured out Maidana's style or decided not to fuck around this fight and decided, you know, to really take him seriously and really focus on him and he just beat his ass.
00:48:05.000You know, brother, he's a genius in a lot of ways.
00:48:07.000I don't agree with a lot of this shit he does.
00:50:55.000Man, I just want to be clear about all that stuff that I was saying about the Floyd Mayweather thing.
00:51:00.000I just think that Athletic commissions, you know, like when they find people and when they get mad at people for stuff, sometimes they do it in a very heavy-handed way, and I think it's kind of obscene.
00:51:15.000Like what happened with Vanderlei Silva I think is obscene.
00:51:57.000No, I mean, it's not saying he hasn't done anything.
00:51:59.000Like in Pride, you know, Ensign Inouye, when he's on here, he was talking about his Pride contract, and he said, and Eve Edwards said the same thing.
00:52:08.000It said in capital letters, we do not test for steroids.
00:52:12.000They give you a syringe on the house and shit.
00:52:15.000Yeah, so, I mean, it's not saying that he didn't do him ever, but he never, Vanderlei never tested positive.
00:53:07.000There was one probation officer in Boulder that used to fuck with me, so I had to hide from him from time to time.
00:53:13.000But I've heard some stories years after about some of the Brazilian fighters and shit, what they've done with us, dug us down there, whatever the fuck it is.
00:53:22.000Didn't Jose Alvo stop him at the airport?
00:53:24.000Didn't something happen where they got their fucking visas returned or something like that?
00:53:29.000The Brazilians are notorious for fucking with these people.
00:53:33.000Something happened, they were at the airport and their visas got, then there was somebody else who had a problem.
00:53:39.000Well, the guy came to Aldo's gym, and they didn't know who the guy was, and they didn't trust him.
00:53:46.000You've got to also, I mean, all suspicions aside, that people always have when someone comes to you and says they're going to test you for steroids, and then you don't want to take that test, there's always going to be suspicion, but that's because you're guilty.
01:00:42.000And you're definitely going to eliminate 90-something percent of the people that would be willing to take a chance and take a steroid.
01:00:51.000But then there's always the possibility that there's people that are ahead of the curve.
01:00:55.000You know, like we can't think that, you know, all those times when they had that clear stuff, when Victor Conte was using that stuff on his athletes that was undetectable, they would call it the clear.
01:01:07.000And then they figured out what the clear was, and now you can test for it.
01:01:11.000But back then, nobody had a test for it.
01:01:13.000But once they find tests for whatever the fuck people are using now that are skirting around tests, we're going to go, oh, we thought those guys were clean.
01:01:21.000There's going to be a certain percentage, whatever that percentage is, whether it's 10%, there's always going to be a percent that's trying something.
01:01:30.000There's always going to be a percent that's willing to try something.
01:01:33.000It's just out of all the people that we know are clean, if there's a hundred people, is it one guy that takes a chance and does something weird and then gets caught a few years later when they figure out a test for it?
01:06:04.000And he sat by, you know, it was just a, you know, when me and Goldberg get together, we talk about the Cincinnati Reds because I grew up on them.
01:06:11.000But at this point, I think, I don't give a fuck about the Hall of Fame for Pete Rose.
01:08:25.000Like, why would you protect someone from gambling?
01:08:28.000Are you trying to keep people prosperous by removing the threat?
01:08:33.000They can't do it, so because they can't do it, a lot of people who'd fall into gambling won't because we're going to protect them from themselves?
01:08:39.000Because that doesn't seem to make any sense to me.
01:08:41.000I think some states look upon it like, when I was a kid, the reason why my parents did numbers in the city is because they gave you a ticket in the city and a felony in Jersey.
01:08:52.000With all those degenerate motherfuckers in the tri-state area, what you're telling me is, if you got arrested for gambling in New York City in the 70s and 80s, you got a ticket.
01:09:03.000The cops said, what are we going to do?
01:09:05.000I got a thousand of these motherfuckers popping apartment buildings all over the place.
01:09:09.000If you went to Harlem in the 70s, it was all little bodegas and everybody took action.
01:12:31.000The thing off the fucking Five that you always see in the movies and all the fucking Friday, they all go to a place and they buy stereos and Raider hats.
01:13:43.000They would throw thousands of them out with the little things, like the chemical was off, you start blinking too much.
01:13:50.000Like, the chemical would be off, then it was pepper spray, like real pepper spray, like people would spray it, and you'd see, what happened?
01:15:42.000In your years in the East Coast, did you ever go roller skate at one of those places on Sunday with Guido and Cousin Vinny?
01:15:48.000No, I missed a lot of stuff because once I got into martial arts, I didn't want to do anything that would hurt me outside of martial arts because I didn't want to get hurt.
01:19:02.000And I'm fucking howling with my little buddies in the back.
01:19:05.000You know, shit like that you cannot write.
01:19:08.000Like as a child, the things you saw, like the time I went to the haunted house, that they take you to like the Brigham Dean Castle haunted house.
01:19:19.000Me and a bunch of little white Italian kids.
01:19:23.000But like three of us thought we were badder than bad, but what we didn't know was that night East Orange was coming in one of those black neighborhoods and they got off the bus and we're walking behind them.
01:19:33.000I told you, Joe Rogan, I seen one of the kids just start wailing on Dracula.
01:19:39.000When you're 13 or 12 and you think you're a bad motherfucker, but some dude's beating Dracula up in the Brigantine Castle, you can't write that shit.
01:19:47.000Like, that'll stay with me forever, seeing that in a haunted house.
01:19:50.000Till this day, I don't go to haunted houses, because these kids beat up Dracula.
01:19:53.000Then they were pulling them out, Joe Rogan.
01:22:40.000Listen, I could go to a game and have a good time and yell and scream and get three beers and all of a sudden I go, yeah, I like the Giants.
01:24:13.000Is there a benefit to keeping, like, say if they bought a team that's for sale, like the Raiders, let's just say the Raiders, is there a benefit to keeping that name?
01:24:23.000Or is there a benefit to starting, it's going to be in Las Vegas, is there a benefit to changing the name?
01:24:28.000Well, they're going to call them the Las Vegas Raiders, but because of what people call today branding, It's the Raiders.
01:24:51.000I'll tell you what, man, I've never been to a live football game, not a big-ass crazy NFL game, but I can only imagine the energy must be insane.
01:25:01.000When you get 100,000 people screaming at the top of their lungs when some shit goes down, it makes you wonder, man, what it would have been like to see the Coliseum in Rome.
01:25:11.000I mean, imagine what that must have been like.
01:25:15.000And with real blood, people's heads got chopped off.
01:25:22.000It's like that is the same, we're looking at essentially is the same progression from like Pete Rose to today's baseball, you know, versus like Gladiators to like some crazy football game.
01:25:34.000It's like, it's just, there's just, there's no way we want to slide back to that sword fighting shit again.
01:26:29.000Who's the guy that got hit with a ball?
01:26:31.000He was a big player in the Boston Red Sox.
01:26:35.000He got hit with a ball and was never the same again.
01:26:39.000I was a baseball fan until I started martial arts, so until I was like 14 or 15. I forget the story, but I remember thinking, man, I did not know a baseball could fuck you up that bad.
01:28:22.000That kind of accuracy and speed You know, they think that might have been one of the reasons why human beings evolved, that our brains evolved.
01:29:25.000During the time the human brain doubled, we were basically going from these more primitive hominids to becoming a human being.
01:29:34.000And then there was this sort of period where things move along at a fairly slow pace.
01:29:40.000But then all of a sudden something explodes over what seems like a long time, but two million years is not that long in evolutionary terms.
01:29:47.000So something happened when we were some sort of monkey creature.
01:29:51.000And during that time there was a change where we mutated and our brain doubled in size and we became way more sophisticated.
01:30:00.000You know, the fun shit is to think that that was aliens.
01:30:03.000The fun shit is to think that aliens came down and, you know, put its sperm in a monkey or did some tests with, you know, took one of the early primates and added alien DNA to it and dropped it back off and that's why the brain got so big so quick.
01:31:13.000We can film things in real time and then show them seconds later on this little tiny thing that slips right into your pocket.
01:31:21.000I mean, we're on some weird, complete different level than everything that exists in terms of, if maybe not our actual overall intelligence, our ability to change our environment and change space around us.
01:32:59.000Yeah, when we're talking about the difference in baseball pitches, so the baseball players back then were throwing, what was like a super fast...
01:33:07.000Nolan Ryan was probably the fucking...
01:33:10.000He's been throwing heat since day one, that fucking guy.
01:34:06.000You know, to have that type of, you know, because it's not just your arm.
01:34:10.000It starts when you pick that fucking leg up.
01:34:15.000When you pick that leg up, The energy of that leg, you know, on your own time, not tonight.
01:34:20.000Next time you smoke a joint late at night and you got insomnia, just look at and put up the 10 best pitches and look what that front leg does.
01:34:27.000And how that front leg also controls their timing.
01:34:30.000There's a picture now that pitches for Chicago that you're sitting there and you're waiting for the ball.
01:35:19.000In the seventh inning, when you get momentum, in comes this guy that throws 104. And he's going to throw, it's nine pitches, he's going to throw 12 pitches, and you're out of there.
01:35:32.000You're either going to, because, remember, the faster the ball comes in, the faster the ball goes out.
01:35:39.000If you live by the fucking sword, you die by that motherfucking sword.
01:35:42.000When somebody hits a deep home run, it's because he popped a 98 motherfucker that made a mistake and put it an inch too low for his gorilla.
01:35:57.000It just dropped a little bit too much for one of these fucking...
01:36:01.000Now on the other side, you got a Marinovich that comes in and takes that guy that bats 290, keeps him healthy, gives him conditioning stuff, got to soothe the shoulder.
01:37:20.000But if you throw the first pitch and you throw that, like, some uncoordinated spaz, if you just fucking first pitch, dork it off the ground, like, you're a loser.
01:38:14.000It's terrible that they even did this, I think.
01:38:16.000If there was no one in the room and you could let him use like echolocation, when he yelled out, hello, with his beautiful voice, hello, maybe you could figure out.
01:38:26.000You know, because deaf guys apparently, or blind guys rather, apparently can do that to a certain extent.
01:38:31.000Like they hear sound bounce off things, they know how far away things are.
01:38:35.000But how would he know where the net is?
01:38:38.000If you put my waist right in front of it, if you go, the thing is 15 feet exactly from us right now, Stevie.
01:43:23.000Just lying on your back, straightening your arm up, and just going through all the motions.
01:43:27.000Propping up on your elbow, going up on the hip, hoisting your hip up, lifting that one leg, getting it underneath you, standing up straight, and then Fully standing straight with your arm extended.
01:43:37.000If you just go through that series of motions without even carrying a kettlebell.
01:43:41.000That's in Professor Alvarado's warm-up.
01:44:28.000And I'm like, oh, this is one of those things.
01:44:30.000If you don't do it, you think it's easy.
01:44:32.000And then once you do it, you realize, oh, you've got to get in shape for this too, like everything else.
01:44:35.000Your body's not used to jumping around like that.
01:44:39.000But if you can do it, I would imagine it would be tremendous for your footwork and for your agility and your foot strength and all the strength in all those connecting ligaments.
01:44:50.000Because essentially what you're doing is little tiny plyometrics.
01:44:55.000You're not getting full extended explosion movements, but you're getting these little jumping bounces where, you know, with me, I'm 196 or something like that, 196 pounds, doing, doing, doing, doing, doing on my feet.
01:45:56.000So he asked his son, he goes, hey, do you skip rope?
01:45:59.000Like, that's the first thing he asked him.
01:46:01.000And he had talked to some other guy, who was also some big time football player, or big time football coach rather, and he's like, do you skip rope?
01:48:12.000I just, I don't need a heart attack at this point in my life.
01:48:15.000You know, for a while I was going crazy when I couldn't find out and figure out the cardio while I wasn't breathing.
01:48:19.000I would go to that fucking North Hollywood Park Walk around with a farmer's kettlebell, and then I would, like, do ten sets of swings, and then I would go, let me try some fucking sprints.
01:48:28.000And I would do it, not realizing, like, what the fuck am I doing?
01:48:32.000I could pull something here that could end everything.
01:48:35.000This isn't just a fucking, you know, like, you know, you're not warmed up properly for that shit.
01:48:41.000I remember going to track as a kid, because they tried to tell me during the offseason, basketball players would high jump to stay in shape.
01:53:28.000When he fought Mir, I remember he tied Mir up in a clinch and just ripped uppercuts to his chin and his face and put him down and just beat him down when he was on the ground like, Carwin could fucking punch!
01:54:11.000One of the crazy things with all these new organizations, whether it's 1FC, whether it's, you know, fill in the blank, Bellator, Ryzen, all these other...
01:54:21.000Like, everyone is scrambling to pick up anybody who leaves the UFC. People's contracts are up like they're starting to do and they start bolting over and going to these other different organizations Stuff can be crazy like things can heat up and you might see like another pride UFC type rivalry Which I think would be great for everybody like if Ryzen really does take off like if Ryzen puts on Fedor versus Shane Carwin and then they come up with a bunch of other crazy fights for the undercard,
01:54:49.000you know There's just not, right now, the same level of talent available outside the UFC. Not right now.
01:54:59.000But man, it's been close a few times, and it used to be.
01:56:41.000See, if you decide to take some time off because you have nagging injuries, or some fighters like that Joseph Valtellini guy we were talking about earlier, he stepped back because of concussion syndrome, because he had too many hits to the head.
01:56:53.000And so he recognized it, was having some real symptoms, and he said, no, I have to resign.
01:57:01.000Taking two or three years off, if you're having any sort of real problem, maybe if you've got a reoccurring back injury, which I know Shane had some back issues.
01:57:54.000I don't know if George wants a fight at 185. I think George has even said that he can make 155. You know, the difference between the size of guys today versus the way they were then, you know, guys are way more sophisticated about weight cutting.
01:58:09.000And I don't think George lifts as much weights anymore.
01:58:11.000I don't think he's as big as he used to be.
01:58:56.000But what I had read online was that they were not at agreement with how much money it was going to cost to promote a fight with them.
01:59:04.000And that the people that watch the fight today that are fans of Ronda Rousey and the fans of Conor McGregor and all these current UFC fighters, that maybe these fans that have only been fans for a couple years, they kind of forgot This is what I was thinking just on my own.
01:59:17.000I'm like, in three and four years, Rhonda...
01:59:19.000Right, but you don't think that it would take one, one fucking promotional special, one thing they do on Fox where people remember, just watch some of the fucking epic fights with John Fitch, with BJ Penn, you know, watch him submit Matt Hughes when Matt Hughes is at the top of the world,
01:59:37.000watch him beat down Matt Serra after Matt Serra stopped him and won the title.
01:59:41.000You watch some of those fights and then you hear him talk and you see what a gentleman he is.
02:00:01.000I think that's what you would do in boxing.
02:00:03.000The only one who never did that is Sugar Ray.
02:00:06.000Sugar Ray Leonard went out of retirement right to Marvin Hagler.
02:00:12.000Right right in there just jumped right into Marvin fucking Hagler and everybody was like you're crazy you need a tune-up fight and Apparently he had some gym fights where they set up some smokers in the gym Just sort of like we were talking about earlier that they do with the Muay Thai beat Marvin Hagler eventually beat him beat him by decision very controversial fight though Some people think that Marvin should have won.
02:00:33.000I would say it's probably one of those fights where it was almost 50-50 Amongst my friends it was, at least.
02:00:39.000Amongst a lot of people I knew, a lot of people thought that Marvin did more damage, it landed the harder shots, and what Sugar Ray was doing was just throwing pity-pat punches, and it wasn't good enough, and Marvin was chasing him down.
02:01:43.000I mean Marvin Hagler in his prime had one of like the best physiques ever for a boxer and he was in supreme condition and he was known for maybe not being like the slickest most technical boxer like maybe Sugar Ray was or Roberto Duran was but overwhelming discipline and drive and ferocity and He would just break dudes down.
02:02:07.000You know, like he did with the Tommy Hearns fight.
02:02:09.000It was like the purest expression of Marvin Hagler.
02:02:12.000These guys are fighting for the fucking middleweight championship of the world.
02:02:16.000It's a giant fight between two superstars.
02:06:31.000Marvin Hagler just absorbing it, and then he starts putting the pressure on Hearns.
02:06:35.000So we're like two minutes into the round now.
02:06:38.000And Hearns is starting to throw weaker and weaker punches and now Hagler is muscling him up against the corner and just beating him down.
02:06:47.000That's one of the big things about Hagler was his endurance, his pace, and just the will that he had.
02:06:55.000Like the will to fight a fight like this where you just stand right in front of a guy like Tommy Hearns and said, dude, you are not gonna knock me out.
02:07:34.000But it was more of like he kind of shoved him down than knocked him down.
02:07:39.000You know, when you watch like Tommy Hearns and some other boxers like Roberto Duran or something, you could tell that they were raw talent and walked into a gym and they worked with somebody really good and they learned how to box.
02:07:51.000When I see Marvin Hagler and I see like the guy you were talking about before, that's 49-0.
02:07:59.000When I watch them box, I think that this is as good as it gets.
02:08:03.000When I watched Floyd Mayweather, what I just watched this fucking animal do was stand in front of him, but as intelligent as a boxer can, because we all know if I throw something, that means I'm open.
02:08:15.000He didn't throw a lot being in front of him.
02:13:01.000Now, Michael Bisping thinks he won, and the judges think he won, and a lot of people think he won because he landed more shots, controlled more moments of the fight.
02:13:10.000Dan Henderson thinks he won because he hurt Michael Bisping a couple of occasions, beat him up, his face was really battered, and in the first round in particular he came way closer to stopping the fight than Than Bisping ever did to him.
02:13:26.000So I could see that argument as well, that those moments where he had Bisping incredibly damaged should be worth a lot of points.
02:14:02.000Like you talk to a wrestler, he's way more impressed with a guy who takes a guy down a bunch of times than a guy who lands some brutal leg kicks in the third round.
02:14:10.000But if you talk to a Muay Thai guy, he'll go, yeah, well, what happened in those first two rounds?
02:14:13.000Yeah, he took me down, but he didn't do anything once he had me down.
02:14:16.000So the only thing is he's laying on me.
02:15:10.000And when they checked his cut, Tommy Hearns had nailed him a couple of times, and Hagler was probably worried about them stopping the fight.
02:16:34.000So you would go there and you'd pay a ticket and then you'd go sit in a movie theater, a bunch of other savages, and you guys would all watch the boxing match together.
02:16:41.000That's how I saw Sugar Ray and Hagler.
02:20:26.000Juan Manuel Lopez, he take-a-o'd Wilfredo Velasquez Jr., and then went after his trainer, punched his trainer in the face.
02:20:34.000So that dude went down, and then he goes up to the guy's trainer, and I don't know what the fuck the trainer said, but he goes right up to him.
02:20:44.000Dude, they're throwing bombs at each other.
02:25:35.000I mean, the Minotauro that triangled Mark Coleman, the Minotauro that was just anybody, he got a hold of your neck, like you were getting choked out.
02:26:39.000Like, he had Minotaur in the corner, and he was ground and pounding him with these ferocious, those casting punches that Fedor throws.
02:26:48.000He's not punching like this, like straight.
02:26:50.000He's throwing these crazy Crazy like circular hammers that are going around your gloves like you're holding your gloves up in front of yourself trying to defend yourself and he's throwing these whipping punches that are going behind the gloves and smashing Minotaro's face.
02:27:07.000It was one of the worst beatdowns you ever saw ground and pound in pride like trapped in a corner.
02:27:27.000So if you look at that fight with Minotauro, you look at that fight with Krokop, like some of his best performances, there's no doubt if he's not the greatest, it's between him and Cain Velasquez, in my opinion, as far as the two greatest heavyweights of all time, and then honorable consideration to Fabrizio Verdum.
02:27:45.000Like, Fabrizio Verdun, despite getting KO'd with one punch by Stipe Miocic, still submitted Cain Velasquez, submitted Minotauro, and submitted Fedor.
02:28:56.000It's like when that team calls you up and they try to give you the home run fucking champion in the last eight years miraculously on a Tuesday.
02:29:57.000And, you know, people forget that Bigfoot, despite the fact that he's an enormous guy, or not just despite, rather, but as well as being an enormous guy, he's also Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu black belt.
02:30:29.000And the Henderson one was, you know, Henderson's a 185-pounder, which is even crazier.
02:30:34.000So he went from a 300-pound man KO'ing him to a 185-pound man KO'ing him.
02:30:39.000And by the way, Henderson, not a big 185. Like, Henderson's not as big as some guys that have fought at 170. That's how hard he fucking punches.
02:31:18.000I'll look him up as official, but I'd guess 6'1", 185. That seems like, to be at your fastest, seems like that's a good weight for those guys, right?
02:31:28.000195 to 205. 185. You know, if you're a good defensive back, you're 185. You're banging up against motherfuckers.
02:31:39.000188. So what do you think, like, the lightest guy that plays in the NFL ways?
02:32:38.000I could bet my life that if they let him play at 155, it's because either he's going to come in one player game and just do a four fucking...
02:37:22.000When we're talking about baseball and all the Pete Rose stuff, you can't run into dudes anymore and you're seeing the softening of society.
02:37:30.000How are they going to soften up football?
02:37:34.000They have, you can't spear helmet no more.
02:37:38.000But it's still pretty fucking brutal, right?
02:37:41.000The Raiders, you remember, because at this time you were a kid and people talked about it, the Raiders had a reputation as bad motherfuckers.
02:37:48.000I mean, one of their guys crippled a dude on Monday Night Football.
02:37:52.000Jack Tatum fucking crippled the guy with a hit.
02:37:56.000Helmet first, you know, into the spine.
02:38:22.000I don't need to see a guy on his back, bro, with his parents at home on their feet watching their son on the TV thing and his body shaking because he just jolted his neck.
02:43:20.000Having pads was good for you and having helmets is good for you.
02:43:24.000But now they're thinking that it's not and that you're going to do things like that where you wouldn't do those kind of things.
02:43:30.000Joe Rogan, we're going back to your fucking brain argument.
02:43:33.000If the brain doubled in two million years or whatever the fucking thing, our strength also doubled.
02:43:41.000The things that we're able to do with our bodies also doubled.
02:43:44.000And even though you're a well-conditioned football player and you're prepared for hits like this, you're not prepared for me if I'm fucking deadlifting 750. And I'm doing certain exercises to make my hits even better.
02:43:58.000Because there's some guy like the guys we talk about, like the trainers we talk about, that are working on specific movements.
02:44:05.000Like they worked on specific movements for MMA. We were talking about like Joey Alvarado works on the Turkish getup.
02:44:12.000Well, there's people now in football that have said, you know what, I've been watching football for 20 years.
02:44:27.000You're bench pressing 350, 350, even if you're fucking 185. You're bench pressing now in high school, 325. It's not what it used to be, 285, the national average of these.
02:46:50.000What's interesting to me about these athletes getting better and faster and stronger and brains getting bigger is I wonder what it's going to be like.
02:46:58.000You know, they talk about the human brain doubled over two million years.
02:47:01.000Why would we assume that that's stopped?
02:47:04.000You know, maybe it's just a long, long, long process of Brain getting bigger, people getting bigger, people getting stronger, people getting faster.
02:47:12.000What's the performance of a person going to look like?
02:47:14.000If it's increased that much since the 1960s, have we reached a bottleneck, like a physical bottleneck, and we'll be able to fix that with genetic engineering?
02:47:22.000Well, now we're pointing on being even stronger and faster, though.
02:51:49.000Like, certain chains, like the improv, or the punchlines, like, chains that have, like, five clubs said, listen, we gotta drug test you a week before you come into our club to make sure that, you know, can you imagine that?
02:52:31.000All they would have to do is say something like, maybe someone was really high and they were on stage and they said something really ridiculous and the club got sued.
02:52:41.000And so they'd say, we now have a no marijuana policy because the guy was on that fucking devil's cabbage and he said some ridiculous shit and our club got sued.
02:52:51.000For like one big chain, like maybe Yuck Yucks or the Improv or something like that, they just decided, we do not care what you do in your own time, but we require, when you work for us, that you have a marijuana metabolite level of less than whatever the fuck it is.
02:53:09.000So, alright, they would test you when you got to town?
02:53:16.000They'd just show up at your house like USADA? A week before you got to the gig, they show up at your house like USADA, and then once you get there, they're gonna test you again, or do I have the whole weekend to get out?
02:53:28.000They're gonna test you again at the end of the week to determine whether or not you have violated their laws.
02:54:10.000You're a very controversial man, Joey Diaz, and the business that we're in here at The Improv is providing with families with laughter, okay?
02:54:18.000Some of the things that you said, you know, quite honestly, I believe in freedom of speech, but I find it offensive.
02:54:23.000Now, okay, so now we got nowhere to run but to go to the rock clubs and do comedy.
02:54:30.000Well, when you go to the rock club, then it's cool because you're your own promoter.
02:55:34.000I really wanted Bernie Sanders to come back.
02:55:36.000I don't know if Bernie was the best choice, but if we could keep him around for three years, shoot him, and then come up with a fucking good present like somebody pops up.
02:56:02.000It's people who were donors to the Clinton Foundation, received deals.
02:56:08.000Didn't my man Ollie North get in trouble for shit like this?
02:56:11.000No, Ollie North got in trouble for, that was when the Sandinistas were fighting the Contras and they were shipping arms illegally to those people.
02:56:33.000One of the weird things that's going on with this election is that everybody loves that a woman, like they're looking at the bright side of things, right?
02:56:40.000They're trying to look at the bright side.
02:56:41.000They think it's gonna be Lilith fuckin' Fair.
02:56:43.000And it's not gonna be no Lilith fuckin' Fair.
02:56:46.000This ain't no chicks with guitars and bare feet.
02:57:22.000So the shit he's talking about, you know, grabbing people's pussies, the thing that pissed me off the most about that shit, you know how many times I've seen a woman with a big fucking 60-pound monkey walking at me when I'm outside, and I said to myself, I would grab that motherfucker right now.
02:57:39.000LAUGHTER Bro, when I was a sophomore in high school, I had this Italian girl in my class that wore clogs.
02:57:46.000She was a little on the heavy side, but she was beautiful.
02:58:31.000And I remember her walking by me going, what would it take for me to have the balls to just fucking grab it and just hold on to that savage for a minute because it was beautiful.
03:02:11.000Where would you have the energy to keep up with that?
03:02:13.000Like, all you 22-year-olds that want to fuck like rabbits, you don't have mortgages?
03:02:18.000I mean, all you have to do is be awake when you show up for work.
03:02:21.000So that's your responsibility when you're 22, unless you fucked up horribly and got yourself into some real serious position of responsibility.
03:02:28.000But most of us at 22, you know, you barely, you show up for work, if you got fired, you're trying to get another job anyway, you're already thinking about quitting.
03:02:36.000So when you're home, and you're home with some girls also 22, you gotta just...
03:02:40.000Two buzz saws just chewing up a piece of wood.
03:03:48.000But why is the prospect of doing this over and over again forever?
03:03:53.000Like, what if you had to live your childhood?
03:03:55.000Like, your childhood, Joey, was a very tumultuous and crazy fucking childhood, but it made you you.
03:04:04.000If you knew that you had to start all over again, and you were gonna close your eyes for the last time, and you're gonna wake up in that hospital room in North Bergen, New Jersey, or in Cuba, And you can do the whole thing again.
03:07:27.000People that aren't even alive anymore.
03:07:28.000People that were really big and they just stopped.
03:07:31.000Tom Arnold is a one-nighter out of Iowa.
03:07:34.000Like, when you go to rooms in Wyoming, Cribble Runs, which are one-nighters, that's different than a stationary comedy club for people at home.
03:07:42.000That means that a bar in a certain town just does comedy on Tuesday nights every night.
03:07:48.000I went to a place in Rivetson, Wyoming and they had pictures of Roseanne and Tom Arnold together when they first started going on the road together.
03:07:57.000He had been in the business for a long time.
03:09:27.000When I watched what he was doing in a half hour then, what he was headlining his first half hour then, just the way he was delivering it, his presentation, how he was yelling at the audience when they walked.
03:09:44.000It hit me so hard that I didn't do comedy for about four days to gather up, like, what am I going to do with my life?
03:09:51.000Because if I'm not that good, it's not worth doing this shit.
03:09:54.000You know, at that time he was doing the bucket of vaginas joke that some lady come up to him and ask him if he wants to buy a bucket of roses at a bar.
03:11:35.000Yeah, but once you watched it at that time, and you know I tell you how it is, the show opens up at what time at the Comedy Store on Saturdays?
03:13:26.000We could name a lot of- we could sit here for two fucking hours.
03:13:28.000We name a lot of people that came to this town who were genuinely funny, and then some fucking suit got to them and said, listen, you have to write your sitcom for these people and talk about it on your stage persona.
03:13:39.000And then they went up there and changed their whole stand-up, and you know what?
03:13:42.000That's funny in a way, but it's not really who the fuck you are.
03:14:33.000Well, there's no venue for stand-up like that except for HBO. Let's pretend that...
03:14:37.000Right now, podcasts would not have come up in this in the last ten years.
03:14:42.000You wouldn't know me, you wouldn't know Stanhope, you wouldn't know Ari, you wouldn't know Duncan, you wouldn't know a half of fucking decent comics that are floating around because the people who are controlling comedy are controlling comedy due to certain criterias.
03:15:41.000So unless you became a Kinison or a Dice Clay or someone who got on an HBO special or got on Rodney Dangerfield's HBO special where the world got introduced to you being dirty, no one was really going to buy it.
03:15:58.000You opened up ten fucking comedians to these people.
03:16:01.000Never even dreamed about going to watch.
03:16:03.000I remember years ago, please, when we went up to fucking Cobbs, the dude, me, and I. That shit used to bother me because that was how we reviewed everything.
03:16:14.000And they thought because you guys didn't have TV credits and because you were dirty that I was making a bad choice by bringing you with me.
03:17:49.000And if you do encounter an Indian, you better be an actual fucking Indian, not some culturally appropriating cisgendered white piece of shit.
03:17:57.000Hilary Duff is so sorry about her offensive Halloween costume.
03:18:57.000And apparently this guy's a huge fan of Mexican cooking and is a real, like, master chef and goes to Mexico and studies under the great Mexican chefs and opens up Mexican restaurants in America just because he loves Mexican cooking.
03:21:36.000These groups of Cubans were hunting them down and fucking beating them and shooting them and shit.
03:21:40.000That's how much, because it had become like, towards the last five years of Cuba, it had become like, if I pulled you over, I'd just beat you the fuck up, took your car, and that was it.
03:21:51.000But for eight years, Cuba, Fidel sat in those mountains.
03:21:56.000It's like taking over LA and setting up in fucking San Francisco for eight years waiting for the opportunity.
03:22:02.000And it breaks it down along the way how it was easy for them to take over.
03:22:14.000I mean, this really, you know, and I knew this shit.
03:22:16.000Is there anybody like that out there now, besides him, that took a country by force and still has control of it all these years later?
03:22:23.000Oh, he just went into people's houses and said, it's mine.
03:22:26.000You know, this show doesn't touch on the casinos, but he just walked into the casinos and said, go ahead, call the mafia, tell them, it's mine.
03:22:38.000You know, you show them, they show the Cubans taking all the American embassy people.
03:26:12.000The beautiful thing about Game of Thrones is that it's a giant movie.
03:26:16.000It's a movie that lasts many, many, many, many seasons.
03:26:19.000And once you get used to that, a regular movie, like, it's not enough time to tell a story.
03:26:24.00090 minutes is not enough time to tell a story.
03:26:26.000And you're seeing that with shows like Westworld, too.
03:26:29.000It's like they're figuring out a totally new thing.
03:26:32.000And a totally new thing being, there's been shows before, like Lost and a bunch of other shows, where there was a storyline they had to follow through the entire, you know, all seasons, and they all kind of connected.
03:26:41.000But not sort of the way they're doing it now.
03:26:44.000The way they're doing it now is with nudity and swearing and violence and sexuality.
03:26:51.000Game of Thrones has changed the whole fucking game.
03:26:54.000And now Westworld is changing the game too.
03:26:56.000There's a bunch of these shows like that that are just HBO and Netflix and all these companies that have the budget to put together essentially a movie a week.
03:27:18.000If you were living in those Wild West days, and Ed Harris rides up in a fucking horse outside your town with that creepy fucking smile of his, and you can't even kill him, guns don't work on him, fuck, man.
03:27:37.000Speaking of good show, Joey Diaz, I heard you had a good show in Chicago, and I heard we're gonna be able to see that shit on CISO. December 8th, bitches.
03:33:09.000Netflix didn't become Netflix overnight.
03:33:11.000There was something I was watching online where this guy was talking about big companies and companies to look for.
03:33:17.000And there's companies like Google and Apple and big technology companies.
03:33:20.000And he thinks that Netflix is going to be one of the next big technology companies.
03:33:23.000You look at the growth and look at what it's worth now and what it's projected to be worth in 2020. It's like it just keeps growing and growing and as more and more people abandon cable like less and less people are getting cable more and more people are getting their TV shows just from Netflix and you know the thing is The idea of watching something,
03:33:42.000you have to be home at 8 o'clock and you're going to be sitting there waiting, it seems archaic.
03:36:03.000If you're in Boston, that fucking theater is one of the best theaters to see stand-up because it's three tiers and it's stacked right in front of you.
03:36:10.000So it's a big-ass crowd, but it feels like a small crowd because each...
03:36:34.000Well, if people could stay off their fucking phones and just hit that DVR and just la, la, la, la, la, and not listen to the radio as they drive home, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then get in front of the TV, they could watch it as if it was a live event.
03:36:46.000So they could see you and then go watch the fights.