Dave Chappelle joins Jemele to discuss the Joe Pesci vs. Amy Schumer beef, the latest in the "Saturday Night Live" drama, and why comedians need to chill the fuck out. Plus, the guys discuss the latest news in the world of celebrity fights.
00:02:32.000It used to be that comics could have these rants where they made really important points inside of fun and it wouldn't be funny and people kind of accepted it.
00:03:33.000Like, one of the things that is driving me crazy about a lot of this tweeting and craziness, like, I was in New York City for the fights, and me and my friend Cam Haynes, we went to the gym.
00:06:18.000And there's a bunch of people who used it, who call themselves, like, as if somehow or another, if Donald Trump is a misogynist, somehow or another, the way to get him back is to rape his wife?
00:07:09.000Did you see the fucking signs that people have made, some artist made for, you know those benches, bus station benches where they have the billboard in the back of it for real estate sales?
00:08:18.000If you do wind up moving to Canada, when you move to Canada, you realize that Canada has a very similar immigration policy to what Donald Trump is proposing.
00:09:41.000He was working for a cash-checking business.
00:09:43.000This was way back in the day, before I even met him.
00:09:46.000And Eddie used to have to carry around large sums of cash, and he had a license to carry a pistol because of that.
00:09:53.000So he gets pulled over for speeding or something.
00:09:57.000And he tells the cop, he goes, hey man, just so you know, I work for a check cashing company, and I carry large sums of cash, and I have a pistol, and it's loaded, and it's in the car.
00:10:07.000And the guy goes, okay, well, step out of the car, give me all your paperwork, and I'm gonna have to handcuff you while we check this out.
00:10:12.000So they check it out, they go, yep, you're all good.
00:12:09.000So, like, I wonder, like, if you grow up in the Hamptons or you live in, like, one of those crazy Connecticut towns where all those super billionaire hedge fund characters live and all their kids go to the private schools, they get sent to these big fucking universities and you get pledged to a fraternity because your dad was in it and,
00:12:26.000you know, there's a lot of that shit going on.
00:12:28.000Yeah, they're called the Skulls, right?
00:13:07.000You don't think I would chat away on my show about it?
00:13:10.000What would be hilarious is if there really was some sort of giant organization that was paying people off to lie about the earth being flat.
00:13:20.000If we were able to keep it that hush-hush, if the world was flat this whole time and all these people that claim to be flying around it in a big circle, people have navigated the globe in a plane.
00:15:01.000But the thing, too, he's passionate about it.
00:15:03.000So people think when him and I discuss it, or any of us discuss it, you know, and he's so passionate, he's not arguing with, he's just like, like, if you really think something's true, you're like, come on, man!
00:15:35.000I've done it with, you know, like archaeological fucking discoveries, where I'll just start reading up on some crazy temple that they found in Cambodia, and two and a half hours later, I'm researching this, and I'm like, God, I got shit to do!
00:18:31.000Well, it's like you have a hundred jobs.
00:18:33.000There's a reason why they age so hard.
00:18:36.000One man shouldn't be responsible for it.
00:18:38.000I mean, I think you've spoke about it before, but to have one guy with that much power and to have all that on his pressure, it should be a committee of just straight geniuses that figure it out.
00:18:49.000Well, man, if you want to look at the bright cloud If there's any bright cloud about Donald Trump being in office is that he doesn't he's an outsider a complete outsider He's not a politics guy and so we'll get to see just by watching them like sort of duke it out what shape they take You know we'll get to see like what what what's what's we'll get a better view of the mechanism behind the machine than if Hillary Clinton was in office Don't you think with I think people are gonna be surprised at how little power
00:19:19.000he's actually the president actually has probably Because they think he's going to do all this crazy stuff.
00:19:24.000And then people are going to be like, nah, bitch, it doesn't work like that.
00:19:26.000You have to jump through all these holes, the House of Lake State, all this stuff.
00:19:29.000Yeah, well, that's what's going to be interesting, too, is to hear him talk and complain about that and see what happens.
00:22:11.000There's a crazy picture that he posted of Donald Trump winning the Ellis Island Award in 1989, standing next to Muhammad Ali and Rosa Parks.
00:24:05.000That was standing in front of the UFC getting into New York.
00:24:08.000I got a little worried when I saw, where was I? I think I was in Atlanta doing a live show, but I saw on Twitter the crazy press conference with Conor doing that stuff.
00:27:03.000I think Wonderboy is better at surprising guys with his kicks and his angles, but Conor sets it up and he's landing combos that are all so precise and this power.
00:27:13.000Like he's touching dudes and you can see it on their face.
00:27:16.000He touched Eddie and Eddie's like, what the f- Well, not only that, he's hitting them in a surprise way, and he's not telegraphing it at all.
00:27:24.000His ability to go from bouncing around to launching that shot is so quick.
00:27:31.000It's so precise, and it's so focused, and there's no fat in his movements.
00:27:38.000Yeah, and they said there was going to be a big announcement afterwards, and obviously his girl's pregnant, which, I mean, it's a personal big announcement for him, but I think he said he's going to take time off and he wants a piece of the pie, he wants a piece of WME and what they're doing now, which is hilarious,
00:30:42.000Yoel does backflips at the beginning of every fight.
00:30:45.000At the beginning of every fight, he goes into the audience, or he goes into the cage, and he does back handsprings and literally launches himself through the air and lands on his feet.
00:35:32.000And he stays on the outside and he also has that beast of a coach.
00:35:35.000But right away, I was like, oh God, That sucks, because I love Bisping.
00:35:39.000I'm like, God, that's a bad fight for him.
00:35:41.000I was sitting there, I'm like, well, cardio, five rounds, if he can survive those first two, maybe three, Dragon Blade, water, it's a fun fight.
00:36:42.000Yeah, look, for sure they're aware when that happened with Tim Kennedy.
00:36:47.000When Tim Kennedy had him fucked up at the end of that second round, he absolutely and on purpose stayed on that stool longer than he was supposed to.
00:37:05.000And the referee should have probably stopped the fight, but I'm sure Big John didn't want the fight to end, didn't want to cheat everybody out of the fight, just wanted a guy to get back up.
00:37:12.000But then you cheat Tim Kennedy who is the one person you don't want to cheat out of this.
00:37:17.000And Tim is walking around like yelling while this is all going off.
00:37:28.000Massive amount of experience in international competition in wrestling and there's like a lot of shit that goes on in wrestling You know where you're you have to take advantage of whatever you can to win You know and the all these years of high-level competition on the international scene He's probably got a bunch of little tricks like that he could do to slow down the pace or give himself a little extra time and we in what people all what what's 15 20 seconds for 15,
00:37:52.00020 seconds for a guy like Yo Romero to replenish...
00:38:26.000Imagine you get through three rounds of kickboxing, and then finally you're drinking water, you got your arms up, and referee says blah blah blah, and it's all a draw.
00:39:03.000So they do this thing where they tally up the scorecards, they give it to Bruce, and I guess it's said majority decision, Tyron Woodley.
00:39:11.000They read two judges scored a draw, one judge scores it for Woodley, and Woodley retains the title, but it's supposed to be a majority draw.
00:42:03.000I've always, and this is just me, I've always questioned his toughness because he does come from a privileged family.
00:42:09.000Like, they have this huge Taekwondo Academy in South Carolina, and he has a great home life, and his dad's his coach, and his brothers are studs.
00:43:43.000And if you listen to Duke Rufus, who was talking about their game plan, I think he was talking about in the post-fight press conference, their game plan, and you even mentioned, you're like, I don't get why Tyrone is against the cage, and I didn't like it either.
00:43:59.000Yes, he does that a lot, and Wonderboy's a counter-striker, so they wanted to bring him to Woodley.
00:44:04.000That was their thinking, by him being against the Cade and do all that, and then get him to commit to take him down.
00:44:09.000So it surprised Wonderboy a little bit, but in the rematch, I think it favors Wonderboy so much more, because now he knows Woodley's going to fight like He might not fight like that.
00:44:20.000He might not fight like that, and this is my thinking here.
00:44:24.000I think the ability to change and be more dynamic is in Wonderboy's favor.
00:45:03.000And Woodley just held him down and dominated him on the ground.
00:45:06.000So if he just does that in the round two, I mean, if he was able to do that instead of trying to stand and knock him out, he might have been able to stop him.
00:45:14.000Correct, but the reason why he got that takedown is based off those kicks, and then Wonderboy stopped kicking.
00:45:20.000Like, he wasn't looking for the knockout.
00:45:26.000And I feel like the reason he got that was because of the kick, so I think Wonderboy can make changes, more of changes, to win the next fight.
00:45:39.000Now that Tyron knows Wonderboy's timing and he's going to be able to rock him, he's going to have some serious confidence in launching that right hand.
00:45:47.000But go ahead and move forward on Wonderboy and see what happens.
00:48:13.000But you don't see him blasting out there like his face on the front of the restaurant, fucking playing the drums while they're serving up spring rolls.
00:48:19.000Well, they were calling it the Big Rig Steakhouse.
00:48:53.000But it's also for an athlete, especially a fighter, where your mind, and first of all, you have this event that happens, and I don't have to tell you this, but for everybody listening, it takes months before the event, you're thinking about this event, you're preparing for the event, and then the event has one night.
00:49:08.000Anything that can fuck your head up along the way should be avoided.
00:49:12.000Yeah, you shouldn't be thinking about getting mass discounts on T-bones and filet.
00:49:16.000You should be really worried about Wanderboy.
00:50:29.000If you would have told her she'd been champ in the UFC, you know, after you've seen her fights with Ronda and these other fights, I'm sure she'd be like, you're full of shit.
00:50:36.000And she just came back from this adversity.
00:50:42.000And for her now, there's so much more for her to do.
00:50:45.000This is why I'm proud of her and her getting out when she did, because I don't know if you've heard her break down fights as a female analyst.
00:51:32.000You're like, excuse me, sir, you're telling dick jokes and trying to fight right now.
00:51:35.000Well, it's one thing watching somebody who you don't love, who's just like, well, you know, or even you do love, you don't have that close of a relationship with, but as a friend, you know, you have a close friendship with someone, you see the path.
00:51:48.000I mean, it's one of those things, man, you see it time and time again.
00:51:51.000I can name you a hundred guys that I know that are kind of half in the game.
00:51:55.000And they still do it and every now and then they get knocked out or they'll fight some Yair Rodriguez type motherfucker, some upcoming phenom and get lit up and all in.
00:52:04.000Yeah, those all-in guys are fucking scary.
00:52:07.000Yeah, and you know for me is the best thing that ever happened to me in my life, so.
00:52:10.000Well, I think it's probably gonna be the best thing for Misha too and one of the things that I said to Misha was like, you know, you've already achieved the highest achievement ever in MMA. You were a world champion in the UFC. No one could ever take that from her.
00:52:21.000She won it in spectacular fashion, and it was an amazing accomplishment.
00:52:25.000That's a giant thing to have on your resume.
00:52:29.000And she's at the perfect time, just talking about it from the business side of things.
00:52:33.000The UFC's contract with Fox is coming up.
00:52:37.000So what they're going to do, from my understanding, is it's going to be on multiple...
00:52:43.000So it's going to be like the NFL or NBA or whatever, these other sports leagues, which are not just tied to Fox, which opens up the door for ESPN, CBS, all these other networks.
00:52:53.000So that opens up the door for all these other shows for her.
00:52:56.000So if I'm Misha Tate, I don't sign with Fox right now.
00:53:01.000Granted, she's the best female analyst in the game to me.
00:53:03.000I think she waits till that deal goes and then feels all the offers.
00:54:32.000Yeah, I mean, if you find someone who knows how to handle the internet side of things, and I'm sure Jamie can help them.
00:54:38.000What's going on today that's really interesting in podcasting, and we've kind of talked about this before, but is that the real network is the organic network between friends.
00:54:48.000It's between all of us, between Joey and Bill Burr and Bert Kreischer and Tom Segura.
00:54:53.000We're all just a bunch of friends, and we talk about each other, and we have each other on, and everybody finds out about each other from each other, and we retweet each other, and re-Instagram each other, and support each other.
00:55:05.000And that's like a real network, where there's no, like...
00:55:09.000Deals going on there's no paper signed it's and then everybody's sort of benefiting from it equally Everybody gets something out of it, you know, that's a real network This other thing is a weird business where non-creative people capitalize on the work of creative people and they provide you with what a Fucking a series of walls and an internet connection.
00:58:13.000It takes away everything that's great about the internet.
00:58:16.000What's great about the internet is you can be yourself.
00:58:19.000You can be yourself, but also what they don't realize, and again, it's just an old school way of thinking, they don't realize how big podcasting is getting because Whether I'm at Fox, I'm in Joe Rogan's bathroom doing the podcast, the listeners just want the audio.
01:01:11.000I'd lash out on the mic and stuff like that, especially in their office in cahoots with the UFC. So how they didn't fire me, I have no idea.
01:01:17.000Well, I think the worst thing could be that they did fire you.
01:08:55.000Russia's bigger than Ireland, but the United States is bigger than Ireland, too.
01:08:59.000And when fucking Conor is fighting in New York City, which is an hour and a half from Eddie Alvarez's house, they're booing Eddie Alvarez as he's walking to the cage.
01:09:43.000This guy from Dagestan has been mauling everybody they put in front of him, and people think, and rightly so, that he's unjustly being kept from a title shot.
01:09:53.000You can't say he's been kept from a title shot when he's been injured for a long time.
01:10:45.000I'm really interested in seeing whether or not he can get past that left hand.
01:10:49.000If you are correct, and that's the fight in Russia, the amount of money they're going to have to pay Conor to fight him in Russia when Conor's still the draw, you're talking about a different ballgame.
01:16:03.000But the point is, like, if you have someone who is monitoring every aspect of your weight cut, like your hydration levels, what kind of fluids you're drinking, what kind of foods you're eating, and it doesn't work out.
01:16:16.000If you did what that guy said, and the weight didn't come off, somebody fucked up.
01:16:41.000You've got Max Holloway, Anthony Pettis, blah, blah, blah.
01:16:44.000Would it be crazy for the new UFC suits to hire nutritionists and maybe just the main card, they designate you a guy to help you lose weight?
01:17:22.000It puts guys at risk health-wise when they don't have to be at risk health-wise.
01:17:27.000I think the only thing that's holding it back are championship belts and more options of weight classes.
01:17:33.000I think if they could figure out what weight guys are, where they compete at optimally, and then the same way you do USADA or USADA testing, you do hydration testing.
01:18:18.000Them doing it by dehydrating themselves 24 hours out, you make a contract to fight at a certain weight because that's what weight you are in a healthy way.
01:18:27.000Which maximizes their skills and performance.
01:18:30.000Yes, and it doesn't put them at the dangers that you have from being dehydrated 24 hours out.
01:18:53.000I can name champions and former champions easily.
01:18:59.000Don't you think you can name 10 champion boxers, though?
01:19:02.000Manny Pacquiao, Tim Bradley, if you want to start going on, Terrence Crawford, Lomachenko, Vasily Lomachenko, Gennady Golovkin, Floyd Mayweather.
01:20:25.000In the UFC? It could come close to the UFC. But has anyone died?
01:20:28.000Do you know that Dos Anjos passed out for three fucking minutes before his fight with Eddie Alvarez, where he was unconscious and unresponsive?
01:20:55.000Now they're fucking knocking on your door at 6 o'clock in the morning making you pee in a cup.
01:20:59.000If they decided to do that at 6 o'clock in the morning, they'd try to test people's hydration levels at 6 o'clock in the morning, every day.
01:21:11.000They'll test you out when you're fully hydrated, and when your body fat is wherever the fuck you are right now, they'll say, hey, okay, right now you're 178 pounds.
01:21:19.000Listen, the lowest you can fight is 172. That's it.
01:21:22.000Bro, you're going to have 1,000 weight classes.
01:22:24.000You introduce someone as a world champion, you know, whoever the fuck they are.
01:22:27.000They get to, you know, bring their world title to the fight, but whenever their next title defense is or whatever the fuck it is, all this name stuff, Welter, Light, Feather, first of all, it's goofy because it's not the right weight anyway.
01:22:41.000Welterweight is not 170. It's 147. That's what Sugar Ray Leonard and Thomas Hearns fought at.
01:27:11.000And then it faded and dropped off bad.
01:27:13.000And Dream was kind of like the end of it.
01:27:16.000And then now there's not really a presence there anymore until Ryzen comes along.
01:27:19.000So if Ryzen can figure out how to bring back the same sort of excitement in the Japanese culture and the Japanese people that they had when they had the pride days, the glory days of selling out Saitama Super Arena and those gigantic places.
01:27:33.000Then it'd be good business for the UFC because then they just come in the back door like, oh, you like that product?
01:31:47.000I mean, she had some moments where she couldn't solve the puzzle, and Ioana was doing a really good job of ending the combinations with leg kicks, inside and outside, inside and outside.
01:34:55.000Dude, how crazy that Matt Square Garden, after the fight, the lights on the stadium, which they've never done before in the arena, were Irish colors for Conor McGregor.
01:35:45.000Because the intensity of the popularity, the love, people might know who Floyd Mayweather is, but when it comes to how many people love Floyd Mayweather, it's not even close.
01:35:54.000It might be like some ridiculous 10 to 1 or 20 to 1. Because when Conor gets out there, they go fucking crazy.
01:37:53.000That's what makes him so special, because that magnitude and the pressure, he has to deliver and he has to do those antics and then back it up, but he keeps pulling it off.
01:38:02.000At the press conference, I was like, this is stupid, man.
01:42:37.000But if she can win the way Conor's been winning, if she can win in spectacular fashion, or the way she was winning when she fucked up Alexis Davis and Sarah McMahon, Merkin girls.
01:44:48.000But I think for Ronda, the Amanda Nunes fight, stylistically, again, we don't know where Ronda's mental state is at, but stylistically, it's a great matchup for Ronda.
01:44:59.000Yeah, I think if she comes ready, prepared, has a good camp, she mercs her.
01:45:03.000But don't you think that you look at the way she fucked up Misha Tate, you're like, that girl presents a lot of danger with those punches, especially considering what happened with Holly and Ronda.
01:45:46.000Well, what Rhonda has and what Ioana has, and not a whole lot of other women have it, is one thing that they do where they're really fucking good at it, and then they have all those other stuff.
01:48:41.000Yeah, so he has to get, I think, July 16. But still, it's been a while, because remember, before that, he did that huge laugh before you see 200. I know.
01:48:47.000So when he comes back, it's going to be interesting to see what we get out of him.
01:48:50.000I know, and then he came back, and he fought Ovin St. Preux, and, you know, looked kind of tentative, and then you saw Jimmy Manoa run through Ovin St. Preux.
01:49:45.000There might be something going on by then.
01:49:47.000By the time this time rolls around next year, or July rolls around, so he's free in July.
01:49:53.000See, I don't know how suspensions work, but what had been explained to me is performance-enhancing drug suspensions don't even allow you to train with other fighters around the roster.
01:51:08.000But the other thing, to your point, where you don't think who says he'll get a title shot, the light heavyweight division is just L. Dinosaurs besides the top few guys.
01:56:38.000I mean, I always start stand-up fighting the kids, but I've been at Comedy Store, I think, three times, and this is the first time at Laugh Factory.