The Joe Rogan Experience - December 02, 2016


Joe Rogan Experience #881 - Lee Camp


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 49 minutes

Words per Minute

199.25153

Word Count

33,720

Sentence Count

3,443

Misogynist Sentences

105

Hate Speech Sentences

74


Summary

Alex Jones, Cenk uygur, and Iggy Azalea join me to talk about the Super Bowl, weed, and much more. We also talk about Alex's new book and how he should be fired from his job as a radio host, and why he should not be allowed to swear on air. Also, we talk about how much money Paul McCartney is worth and why the Beatles are the greatest pop group of all time. And we do a deep dive into why we should all smoke pot. Enjoy the episode and don t forget to like, subscribe and share it on your socials! Don't forget to give us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts, too! Subscribe, rate, and review and tell a friend about this episode! Cheers, Cheers! -Jon Sorrentino and Alex Jones and -Cenk Uygur and Lee Camp on Comedy Central's "Saturday Night Live" and Comedy Central s "Saturday Morning Aftershow" at 8am ET. on the Tonight Show with Seth Meyers and Sarah Downey is a production of Comedy Central. Please don't miss it! and stay tuned for our next episode next Saturday at 8pm ET on the Comedy Central Comedy Central! to hear more of his stand-up comedy and standup comedy show, Saturday Night Live with Sarah Silverman and Sarah Palin . and his new book, "The Realest Thing I've Ever Seen? and much, much more! on HBO's "The New York Times Magazine's "Black Friday" coming soon! at 9/11. and HBO's new podcast, "Blackish" at 8/11/13/16/15/19/16 and 17/17/18/19 at 7/16? in Hollywood at the PodX at 7pm EST. at The Grove at Union Square at Union Hall, 8/19th St, 6/27/19? at 6/28/19 @ 7/19 @ 8/9/19, 9/23/19 & 8/28 @ 9/8/30/19 / 7/27 @ 6/29/19?? & 7/28 / 8/29 , 8/27 And 7/29 @ 7:30/18 @ 8pm Is that a good place to be?


Transcript

00:00:03.000 Two.
00:00:03.000 Uno.
00:00:05.000 Ya.
00:00:07.000 Vamos!
00:00:08.000 See?
00:00:09.000 We're live.
00:00:10.000 That's all I know in Spanish.
00:00:11.000 Don't expect more.
00:00:12.000 Ladies and gentlemen, Lee Camp!
00:00:14.000 This is what I want to do, buddy.
00:00:17.000 Lee Kamp, Alex Jones, Cenk Uygur, and me, let's go drinking!
00:00:22.000 We can all be friends!
00:00:24.000 Could we?
00:00:25.000 Yes!
00:00:27.000 We're gonna pass them out a joint, we're gonna agree to be friendly, we'll all just go to dinner somewhere, have a good old time, throw back some beers, I think we would all get along famously.
00:00:37.000 I know nothing about Alex Jones off the mic, I can't even imagine what goes on.
00:00:41.000 He's great.
00:00:41.000 I love him.
00:00:42.000 I love him.
00:00:43.000 I don't care what anybody says about him being crazy.
00:00:45.000 Alex Jones is my friend and I love that guy.
00:00:47.000 He's a big, sweet teddy bear.
00:00:49.000 He's a super nice guy.
00:00:51.000 Does he get humor at all?
00:00:53.000 Oh yeah!
00:00:53.000 He comes to comedy shows all the time.
00:00:55.000 He's a fucking big comedy fan.
00:00:57.000 Because I saw Doug Stanhope on.
00:00:58.000 Doug's friends with him too.
00:01:00.000 And I saw Doug on with him once.
00:01:02.000 And it just seemed like Doug was being hilarious.
00:01:05.000 It just seemed like he didn't get it.
00:01:06.000 He didn't know what was happening.
00:01:07.000 Have you ever seen him with Joey Diaz?
00:01:09.000 No.
00:01:10.000 It's one of the funniest moments in the history of radio.
00:01:12.000 They're like bizarro versions of each other.
00:01:15.000 He told Joey Diaz that it was on the internet.
00:01:19.000 That's where he fucked up.
00:01:20.000 Because there was one part that we were doing.
00:01:22.000 We were in Austin, and we were in studio.
00:01:24.000 And one part we were doing was on the radio radio.
00:01:26.000 So on the radio radio, he can't swear.
00:01:28.000 He's like, well, this next part's going to be on the internet, but you can swear.
00:01:32.000 I mean, you shouldn't swear.
00:01:33.000 Definitely you shouldn't swear, but if you do, it's no big deal.
00:01:35.000 No one's going to go to jail.
00:01:36.000 So...
00:01:37.000 All of a sudden, Joey Diaz realizes the floodgates are open.
00:01:41.000 So he just...
00:01:42.000 I mean, Joey's the funniest guy.
00:01:44.000 If he's not the funniest guy that's ever lived, he's in the top two or three.
00:01:47.000 Joey is amazing.
00:01:48.000 And he just goes off.
00:01:50.000 And I'm just sitting there red-faced and crying and laughing.
00:01:54.000 I'm laughing so hard I can't breathe.
00:01:56.000 And Alex didn't know what to do with it.
00:01:59.000 He didn't know what to do with it.
00:02:01.000 He was trying to juggle it.
00:02:02.000 You want to play it, Jamie?
00:02:04.000 Here it is.
00:02:05.000 Oh, you have it?
00:02:06.000 Play part of it, yeah.
00:02:17.000 He's talking about Michael Jackson.
00:02:23.000 You're worth more dead than what you are alive.
00:02:25.000 You understand me?
00:02:26.000 And now they got a new record coming out.
00:02:27.000 He ain't in debt no more.
00:02:28.000 He's doing a tour next year with the people from Vegas that jump up and down the Blue Band Group, whatever the hell that is.
00:02:34.000 I mean, he's worth more now than he's ever been.
00:02:37.000 I think Paul McCartney killed Michael Jackson.
00:02:40.000 If it was up to me, me knowing what I know, I'd smoke another joint.
00:02:43.000 I'll break it down.
00:02:44.000 I'll break it down because he bought the music from Paul McCartney.
00:02:47.000 They didn't want to give it back to him.
00:02:48.000 And all of a sudden, they put Paul McCartney in the Super Bowl.
00:02:51.000 They tried to build up the Beatles.
00:02:54.000 By the way, we're so high right now.
00:02:58.000 So high.
00:02:59.000 Like, we got barbecue before this thing.
00:03:03.000 Obama and the elite, it's a strategy.
00:03:08.000 Keep going!
00:03:09.000 I don't know what to say.
00:03:11.000 I would do you, but we're so high right now.
00:03:17.000 I mean, we really should never be on the air.
00:03:20.000 So most of this is on the regular radio until Joey finds out that the radio...
00:03:24.000 See if you can find where he goes off.
00:03:26.000 Because he only goes off for like five minutes.
00:03:28.000 But he's screaming and yelling about going through the TSA with a bag of weed under his balls.
00:03:33.000 And Alex just tried to bring it back to Hillary Clinton and the elites.
00:03:37.000 I would never want to try and compete with Joey Diaz on anything.
00:03:40.000 We just gotta let him go.
00:03:41.000 But I'm telling you, Joey loves Alex, too.
00:03:44.000 Joey and Alex, they went to...
00:04:07.000 Oh, this is someone else's edit, obviously, because that's where he goes, you know, can't take a Joe, take a taxi.
00:04:13.000 What does he yell out?
00:04:17.000 Big dicks in your ass is bad for your health.
00:04:19.000 Stay black.
00:04:20.000 And then he leaves the studio.
00:04:22.000 He just leaves?
00:04:22.000 He goes, stay black.
00:04:23.000 That's the most important thing.
00:04:25.000 I mean, he knows when to exit the room.
00:04:27.000 That's it right there.
00:04:29.000 Hey, hey, go fuck yourself, you cop.
00:04:32.000 Hold on, hold on one second.
00:04:33.000 Take a joke, take a shuttle.
00:04:35.000 Joey Diaz, Facebook, Twitter, check yourself before you wreck yourself.
00:04:39.000 Big dicks in your ass are bad for your health.
00:04:42.000 Get out of here.
00:04:42.000 You're in trouble.
00:04:43.000 Look at this.
00:04:44.000 I'm the umpire.
00:04:46.000 Stay black because that's the most important.
00:04:56.000 I go, this show's over.
00:04:57.000 That's the only way to deal with Alex Jones.
00:04:59.000 But I'm telling you, Alex is a good guy.
00:05:02.000 He's a nice guy.
00:05:04.000 He's just balls deep in that world.
00:05:06.000 He's balls deep in the, you gotta get dried food.
00:05:09.000 You need gold, ladies and gentlemen.
00:05:11.000 I don't know if he believes half of the shit he's saying.
00:05:15.000 I think he just knows he gets hits.
00:05:17.000 We've got hypnotic brain pills that the CIA found in a vat in the basement.
00:05:22.000 Charlton Heston uncovered this years ago and was silenced for it.
00:05:26.000 The brain pills.
00:05:27.000 You gotta get silver in your veins.
00:05:29.000 They drink that silver water.
00:05:31.000 I had a buddy of mine who used to do that.
00:05:33.000 He used to have a rod that you would electrify.
00:05:37.000 It would have wires on it, and you would dip it in water.
00:05:40.000 I'm like, what are you doing?
00:05:41.000 And he's like, you're making some sort of a silver drink, and if you have a cold, you drink that, and you're fine.
00:05:46.000 Oh, God.
00:05:47.000 Yeah, if you spend your whole hour telling people that they need to fear for their lives and then go, buy the survival garden!
00:05:56.000 It's like, yeah, you just told us we need the survival garden.
00:05:58.000 You set it up.
00:05:59.000 You sell some good fucking survival food, though, if you want some solid survival food.
00:06:04.000 Jesus Christ, there was a video that Duncan sent me yesterday.
00:06:08.000 This dude put together of Jim Baker.
00:06:11.000 Do you know Jim Baker's back?
00:06:14.000 And when Trump won, I mean, they were like, it was like Jesus came home.
00:06:18.000 You gotta put, watch this video, because I put it, see how much of it we can watch.
00:06:22.000 How much of it can we watch without getting kicked off?
00:06:24.000 We just put a little bit of it in the background.
00:06:26.000 But it's the actual Jim Baker show.
00:06:29.000 Jim Baker has an actual show now.
00:06:31.000 Oh, yeah?
00:06:31.000 And he sells food.
00:06:33.000 He sells dried food, like survival food.
00:06:36.000 They're advertising it as furniture.
00:06:38.000 You stack it around your dinner table.
00:06:41.000 Oh, God.
00:06:42.000 And then you put your table on it.
00:06:43.000 Dude, if I walked in and I saw somebody had that furniture...
00:06:47.000 Dude, run for your lives.
00:06:49.000 He has a whole set up on the stage.
00:06:51.000 He has a whole set up on the stage.
00:06:53.000 Oh my god.
00:06:54.000 Pretty sure we can't play this.
00:06:55.000 Okay, is this the one that was on my Twitter feed?
00:06:57.000 Yeah.
00:06:58.000 Look at this guy.
00:06:59.000 Yeah, this is it.
00:07:00.000 This is it.
00:07:00.000 Who put this together?
00:07:02.000 What is the guy's name?
00:07:03.000 Super Deluxe?
00:07:04.000 What's that number?
00:07:04.000 Yeah, on Twitter.
00:07:05.000 Super Deluxe.
00:07:06.000 That's it?
00:07:06.000 Just Super Deluxe?
00:07:07.000 Yeah.
00:07:07.000 We're on YouTube, I'm sorry.
00:07:09.000 Oh, YouTube.
00:07:10.000 Super Deluxe.
00:07:11.000 Whoever you are, you masked man.
00:07:13.000 This is goddamn genius.
00:07:15.000 No way!
00:07:15.000 Look at this!
00:07:16.000 Look at the table!
00:07:17.000 He's got all the fucking survival food!
00:07:20.000 Stop Christian genocide!
00:07:22.000 90 days!
00:07:22.000 I love that, because that was the number one problem with survival food, is what do you do with it all?
00:07:26.000 So you've got to make it furniture.
00:07:28.000 He's trying to furniture in people's houses.
00:07:30.000 I mean, he's doing all this shit with a straight face.
00:07:33.000 This guy's a maniac.
00:07:35.000 That's crazy.
00:07:36.000 And he's making cash.
00:07:39.000 I almost want to like, I would almost like to get that guy high and get him on a podcast.
00:07:46.000 How bizarre would it be?
00:07:47.000 You'd end up wearing a little hat like that baby.
00:07:49.000 Like if you could just talk him into going camping with you and slip him a couple of edibles.
00:07:56.000 Dude, it would wake all these people.
00:07:57.000 What would Alex Jones be like?
00:07:59.000 He'd be great.
00:08:00.000 Joe, you're right.
00:08:02.000 I gotta settle down.
00:08:03.000 I gotta relax.
00:08:05.000 The elites have just got me so fucking riled up, I just want to start...
00:08:09.000 Did you see Eric Andre when he kind of crashed Alex Jones' things at the RNC? I heard about it and I didn't see it.
00:08:15.000 I just ran into him at the airport.
00:08:16.000 I love that dude.
00:08:17.000 Yeah, he's hilarious.
00:08:17.000 Alex Jones thinks he's with The Daily Show.
00:08:19.000 So Eric Andre's in the crowd and he's like, let's get The Daily Show up here!
00:08:23.000 Bring him up here!
00:08:24.000 Bring him up here!
00:08:24.000 Daily Show guy, come up here!
00:08:25.000 Come up here!
00:08:26.000 And he goes, this guy is a Pentagon shill for The Daily Show!
00:08:29.000 And Eric Andre's like, I'm not with The Daily Show!
00:08:33.000 Oh no!
00:08:34.000 He's like, I got my own show, bitch.
00:08:37.000 And then he goes, I want to sleep with your wife, Alex.
00:08:40.000 Oh, no.
00:08:41.000 And Alex Jones is like, what are you talking about?
00:08:42.000 He's like, no, I really, I want to sleep with your wife.
00:08:44.000 Or, no, I want you to sleep with my wife.
00:08:45.000 I'll give you the room key if you sleep with my wife.
00:08:48.000 And Alex Jones is like, I don't know what's going on!
00:08:53.000 He's susceptible to manipulation.
00:08:56.000 I'll say that.
00:08:57.000 He can be trolled.
00:08:58.000 He's a good dude, though.
00:09:00.000 I swear to God, he is.
00:09:01.000 I've known Alex forever.
00:09:03.000 I've known him since 99. Really?
00:09:05.000 Yeah, we did a video together a long time ago with me and him, dressed up like George Bush, running around the Capitol, and we went to the bathroom and smoked bongs.
00:09:11.000 No way.
00:09:12.000 Yeah, it was hilarious, because I offered him a hit of the bong, and he goes, I don't do that shit.
00:09:16.000 It makes me paranoid.
00:09:18.000 Yeah, that makes him paranoid.
00:09:22.000 It was an inside joke, but it was fun.
00:09:24.000 Did he have the same schtick then?
00:09:26.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:09:27.000 He was doing that long before I met him.
00:09:29.000 Long before I met him, Herbert Walker Bush would be somewhere, and he would meet there and call him a war criminal and yell out and get arrested.
00:09:39.000 Actually, it was like GW when he was running for president, I think, Alex got arrested.
00:09:43.000 He got arrested a gang of times, you know?
00:09:45.000 Right.
00:09:46.000 The thing is, Alex had some...
00:09:49.000 He was right about a lot of shit.
00:09:51.000 And this is where it gets...
00:09:52.000 HW being a war criminal is fine.
00:09:53.000 He was right about the NSA stuff.
00:09:56.000 He was saying from a long time ago.
00:09:57.000 I mean, years before the Edward Snowden shit came out.
00:10:00.000 He was like, I guarantee you there is a place right now where they are dumping all of your information.
00:10:06.000 They can collect data.
00:10:07.000 They have the capability.
00:10:09.000 I was like, come on, man.
00:10:10.000 Who's copying all the emails?
00:10:12.000 That's the thing.
00:10:13.000 Could you imagine 15 years ago you said, they're watching everything, they know your emails.
00:10:17.000 Anyone said that, you were like, alright, let's get the fuck away from this guy.
00:10:19.000 Now, everyone's like, oh yeah, sure they are.
00:10:21.000 Like, how quickly things changed?
00:10:24.000 So quick.
00:10:25.000 So quick.
00:10:25.000 It's like, you just assume.
00:10:27.000 You know how much NSA... You know how much NSA and privacy were mentioned in the three presidential debates, one vice presidential debate?
00:10:33.000 Zero!
00:10:34.000 It never came up!
00:10:36.000 This is the largest surveillance infrastructure ever created, not mentioned, in the presidential debates.
00:10:41.000 Never discussed.
00:10:43.000 Fucking insane, right?
00:10:44.000 That's like, that's almost like the agreement.
00:10:46.000 Like, you guys can talk shit about each other all you want.
00:10:49.000 Start talking about the NSA, we're gonna have a real fucking problem.
00:10:52.000 I mean, that's the number one way that they, honestly, like mainstream media and all this shit lies to us.
00:10:56.000 It's just ignoring stuff.
00:10:57.000 It's not usually flat out lies.
00:10:59.000 It's just, we're not gonna talk about it.
00:11:01.000 I'll tell you what, man.
00:11:04.000 There was a really impressive moment where I was like, I was really impressed with Obama as a person.
00:11:09.000 Where he was at this, they were doing this campaign speech, and this guy, a Trump supporter, was in the crowd, and this guy was throwing a flag up in the air, or this Trump flag, and was waving, and he was an older guy, and he had some sort of military outfit on.
00:11:22.000 And he's yelling out, you know, Trump, and he's got his sign-up.
00:11:25.000 And all these people are booing, and Obama stops them.
00:11:28.000 And he goes, first of all, he goes, this is a gentleman, he's an older gentleman, we should respect our elders, so let's think about that.
00:11:36.000 And he goes, and it looks like he's done some military service, he's got a military, so we should respect our veterans.
00:11:41.000 And then he got to this and he goes, don't boo, vote.
00:11:47.000 Don't boo, vote.
00:11:49.000 And he goes, we respect freedom of speech.
00:11:51.000 Yeah.
00:11:51.000 Like, don't boo this man.
00:11:52.000 Yeah, I like that, but the whole respect the veterans thing when you don't fucking fund their medical care when they get home, we treat them like shit, and then they go, oh, respect them, though.
00:12:03.000 Look, you're totally right.
00:12:05.000 You're totally right.
00:12:05.000 That drives me nuts.
00:12:06.000 More in a leadership role or as a, like, respect someone for, like, the way to handle a delicate situation like that.
00:12:13.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:12:13.000 I agree with that.
00:12:15.000 I mean, ultimately, you do have to be concerned.
00:12:17.000 We've been talking about this with the whole Trump thing.
00:12:19.000 You don't have to be concerned as much about what Trump's going to be able to do as you do about people that see Trump in office and they get emboldened to be assholes.
00:12:30.000 Oh, yeah.
00:12:30.000 Absolutely.
00:12:30.000 Because I really think that there's some people that are on the fucking fence, the asshole fence.
00:12:35.000 They can go one way or another and they might go full asshole now.
00:12:38.000 Full asshole door is open.
00:12:41.000 It's not Trump's fault.
00:12:42.000 It's not Trump's fault, but there's a reality of being the person who's setting the tone for the way the country thinks of itself, right?
00:12:49.000 Oh, absolutely.
00:12:50.000 And here's part of the maybe, the positive of having someone like Trump in the presidency is this country, like, you know, racism, being an asshole, treating people like shit, that's been part of this country that is, as long as we didn't have a leader that you didn't think represented that,
00:13:07.000 people were like, oh, okay, we'll just keep it going at this rate.
00:13:10.000 Whereas now, people, like, are Maybe we needed this ugly orange face as the face of things to really be like, hey, what is going on with the xenophobia and the racism and what is the deal?
00:13:21.000 Maybe we needed that face.
00:13:22.000 Well, it definitely highlights the fact that it's a giant issue still.
00:13:26.000 So people that don't think it's an issue because they're not seeing it in front of their face, you're forced to look at it now.
00:13:32.000 This is something that Alonzo Bowdoin said during the Young Turks coverage of the election that was so on.
00:13:39.000 He goes, not all Trump supporters are racist, but all racists are Trump supporters.
00:13:45.000 He nailed it.
00:13:49.000 They're not racist, but he is number one with racists.
00:13:52.000 How many racists are voting for Hillary?
00:13:56.000 She ain't getting that vote, you know?
00:13:59.000 It's funny, man.
00:14:00.000 It's funny.
00:14:01.000 No, it's a great point.
00:14:02.000 It's dead on.
00:14:04.000 You gotta worry about the tone.
00:14:07.000 I mean, it sounds ridiculous to someone who's got sovereignty, someone with personal sovereignty, someone who knows who they are and isn't so easily swayed and is like, that's not gonna make me an asshole.
00:14:17.000 It probably won't make you an asshole.
00:14:19.000 But there's a guy.
00:14:20.000 Yeah.
00:14:20.000 There's that guy.
00:14:21.000 There's a bunch of those guys.
00:14:23.000 There's a lot of disenfranchised men out there.
00:14:25.000 Well, and this is where I really put it on the mainstream media, is they legitimize some of this shit that Trump says, or whatever Trump supporters say, that is just crackpot nuts.
00:14:37.000 Like when CNN had the chyron that said, are Jews people?
00:14:41.000 What?
00:14:41.000 Oh, you didn't hear about this?
00:14:42.000 No.
00:14:42.000 It went kind of viral.
00:14:43.000 They were saying, hey, this crazy white supremacist, or maybe someone having something to do with Trump, has in the past questioned whether Jews are people or something.
00:14:53.000 So then they run with the chyron and says, are Jews people?
00:14:56.000 It's like, well, now this is a legitimate discussion.
00:14:58.000 You just made this a legitimate discussion.
00:15:00.000 That's so preposterous.
00:15:01.000 Yeah, instead of just ignoring it, instead they're like, hey, let's have a panel to discuss.
00:15:05.000 Do Jews smell funny?
00:15:06.000 It's like, you legitimize this shit.
00:15:08.000 If Jews are people...
00:15:10.000 There you go.
00:15:11.000 That's just so fucking stupid.
00:15:13.000 That sounds like if someone gave the news to people in the 1500s.
00:15:17.000 They said, listen, it's time.
00:15:19.000 This is a new technology.
00:15:20.000 Imagine if you gave it to people.
00:15:22.000 Arduous people, I'm not sure!
00:15:24.000 Death!
00:15:27.000 That's so ridiculous.
00:15:28.000 It's something we should discuss.
00:15:29.000 Let's sit down, talk about this.
00:15:31.000 What kind of people discuss whether or not choose a people?
00:15:33.000 What else?
00:15:34.000 Was Santa Claus real?
00:15:35.000 Is that next?
00:15:36.000 What about Rudolph?
00:15:37.000 Was he a real character?
00:15:38.000 Is that a mythical creature?
00:15:39.000 Is he an analogy?
00:15:40.000 Is he an allegory?
00:15:42.000 What is he?
00:15:42.000 They gave $5 billion of free coverage to Trump, twice as much as Hillary.
00:15:46.000 In the primaries, 23 times as much as Bernie.
00:15:49.000 And they wonder how Trump got elected.
00:15:51.000 They couldn't help themselves.
00:15:52.000 Yeah.
00:15:52.000 He's a master at manipulating them in that regard.
00:15:55.000 Oh, absolutely.
00:15:56.000 Like, always saying controversial things, whether it was on purpose or not.
00:15:59.000 Well, JESUS CHRIST! Goddammit!
00:16:01.000 People could die!
00:16:03.000 Do we have any tells now?
00:16:04.000 Dude, you're the first guest to do that.
00:16:07.000 I'm the first?
00:16:07.000 I've done it a fuckload of times.
00:16:09.000 Shit.
00:16:09.000 I've wrecked at least two laptops on this show live.
00:16:13.000 We're good, dude.
00:16:13.000 Oh, I just did it!
00:16:15.000 I just did it!
00:16:16.000 Oh my god.
00:16:17.000 What a clusterfuck here, ladies and gentlemen.
00:16:20.000 At least you know that this is really live.
00:16:22.000 That's a good host, is you wanted to make me feel better about mine.
00:16:25.000 I really did, and I'm just a slob.
00:16:28.000 Clumsy dork.
00:16:29.000 But we're good.
00:16:30.000 Nothing got zapped.
00:16:31.000 We're good.
00:16:32.000 What were we just talking about?
00:16:34.000 The country, racist, Trump.
00:16:35.000 We're talking about Trump and media, the endless media coverage.
00:16:38.000 Yeah, he did a fucking awesome job.
00:16:39.000 Whether but you know what there's the possibility like I would like to think that we watched some genius Chess play by a master of the media which he most certainly is right.
00:16:49.000 I mean the guy's been on television forever But I really wondered do you I mean you have thoughts on who he what he genuinely believes?
00:16:57.000 That's the question.
00:16:58.000 I have no idea.
00:16:59.000 Well, that was my question I was gonna say do you think that Did we watch a master manipulator or did he just get lucky that his personality like totally works right now?
00:17:08.000 You know, like that everything is lined up for you to be the guy that says, you know, you should grab chicks by the pussy and everybody goes, ah, that's locker room talk.
00:17:17.000 I think it's a little bit of both.
00:17:18.000 I think it's the perfect time for him combined with great manipulation.
00:17:23.000 Here's the thing.
00:17:23.000 If you didn't have people struggling so hard, if you didn't have this quote-unquote recovery all going to the top 1%, people wouldn't have gotten behind this.
00:17:31.000 You needed a populace that is furious and struggling and miserable to get behind this.
00:17:36.000 Isn't that weird?
00:17:37.000 A populace that is furious and struggling and miserable wants to get behind a dude who's a billionaire who's probably fucked over a ton of people to get there.
00:17:45.000 I mean, the whole thing is like...
00:17:47.000 I mean, how much tooth, fang, and claw competition and business has that guy been involved in?
00:17:53.000 Probably a fuckload, right?
00:17:55.000 It sounds like every deal he's ever signed, he reneges on like half of it.
00:17:59.000 He's hilarious.
00:18:00.000 Like when they were talking to him during the debates when Hillary brought up the taxes and him not paying taxes, he goes, it's because I'm smart.
00:18:07.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:18:08.000 He got away with it.
00:18:09.000 But you know why he gets away with it?
00:18:10.000 Because he goes, yeah, those laws shouldn't be there, but since they are, I'm not going to not use them.
00:18:15.000 Of course I'm going to use them.
00:18:16.000 He goes, but let's take them out.
00:18:17.000 Let's take those laws out.
00:18:19.000 Yeah.
00:18:19.000 People wanted someone who just said, fuck this system, which it's hilarious that you then get behind a billionaire as the guy who's going to say, fuck the system.
00:18:28.000 I know.
00:18:28.000 But he's also a populist.
00:18:30.000 That's what's weird.
00:18:31.000 He likes to be popular.
00:18:33.000 And you have a unique opportunity with a guy like him where I don't think he's going to be as influenced by other people as we've had presidents before.
00:18:43.000 You know, we've had presidents before that get in the office and we're like, oh my god, this guy's not doing anything he said.
00:18:47.000 We don't even have to say who they are, right?
00:18:51.000 Obama.
00:18:51.000 All of them, right?
00:18:52.000 Who doesn't?
00:18:53.000 All of them, right?
00:18:55.000 But this is the first time a guy has gotten in.
00:18:58.000 The party itself doesn't even want him in there.
00:19:01.000 They were trying to force him out.
00:19:03.000 Everybody didn't want him in.
00:19:05.000 Everybody was saying, there's no way we can let this guy in.
00:19:07.000 Basically, the Republicans tried to rig their primary to beat Trump and failed.
00:19:12.000 The Democrats rigged their primary and succeeded.
00:19:14.000 That was the only difference.
00:19:15.000 Yeah, it's fascinating, isn't it?
00:19:17.000 Like, they fucked over that Bernie Sanders guy.
00:19:19.000 Oh man, on every level.
00:19:21.000 I covered this on Redacted and I like endlessly, I just couldn't get enough of it.
00:19:25.000 It was like on every, it was like voter suppression, closing polling places, you know, exit polls aren't matching up, just media manipulation, 23 times as much coverage, like I was saying, for Trump and like 10 times as much coverage for Hillary as Bernie Sanders.
00:19:36.000 It was just like on every level they tried to force through their candidate.
00:19:41.000 He would have been great.
00:19:42.000 Yeah?
00:19:43.000 I think Bernie would have been really interesting.
00:19:45.000 I think Bernie running against Trump would have been way less vulnerable.
00:19:50.000 He had way less skeletons in the closet.
00:19:52.000 Yeah.
00:19:53.000 He was pretty much an open book.
00:19:54.000 He also didn't...
00:19:55.000 He had immense, compared to Hillary, immense favorability numbers, whereas Hillary just had crazy unfavorability numbers.
00:20:02.000 Well, he represented character to us.
00:20:06.000 30-40 years of saying the same stuff, whereas Hillary, from week to week, he didn't know what she stood for.
00:20:11.000 Yeah, and even the way he looks.
00:20:14.000 He represents character.
00:20:16.000 He represents this disheveled, really smart guy with his glasses and his jacket, and he's not trying to look good at all.
00:20:24.000 He doesn't have any orange makeup on.
00:20:25.000 He's really the polar opposite of Trump.
00:20:28.000 I would love a guy that cares more about getting shit done than his hair.
00:20:32.000 I would love that.
00:20:33.000 Well, he also seems to care about people.
00:20:35.000 Whether you agree with him or not, I think that guy genuinely cares about people.
00:20:39.000 Hopefully I'm not getting bullshitted, you know, because he is a politician.
00:20:43.000 Here's how you know a little something, is you don't spend 30 years in government and not get rich unless you've got other goals.
00:20:50.000 Yeah.
00:20:51.000 It's like everybody who's been in Congress that long is a multi-millionaire.
00:20:54.000 He's not.
00:20:55.000 Well, he's from Vermont, right?
00:20:56.000 Yeah.
00:20:56.000 Dude, they're all hippies up there.
00:20:58.000 They're all hippies and farmers.
00:20:59.000 Vermont is weird.
00:21:01.000 I had Ben Cohen on a bunch.
00:21:03.000 Ben and Jerry, they're in Vermont, too.
00:21:04.000 Dude, it's so weird.
00:21:06.000 It's great.
00:21:07.000 Don't get me wrong.
00:21:08.000 It is a great place.
00:21:09.000 Burlington, that place is amazing.
00:21:12.000 I did a gig up there once.
00:21:13.000 I was like, wow, this is like a little frozen paradise up here.
00:21:16.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:21:16.000 This little small, cool town of hippie people.
00:21:20.000 And they always go against whatever's going on around them.
00:21:23.000 How do you get a group?
00:21:24.000 It has to be a university town.
00:21:26.000 It's the only way you get a group of liberals in a mountain.
00:21:30.000 Well, I guess there's universities there too, but in some of these southern towns, it's just like they all flee to one city.
00:21:37.000 It's like Asheville, North Carolina.
00:21:38.000 They're just like, we gotta get together.
00:21:40.000 But that's the university too.
00:21:41.000 That's where Duncan went to school.
00:21:44.000 Asheville's amazing.
00:21:45.000 I love it, yeah.
00:21:45.000 It's amazing.
00:21:46.000 It's such a great little town.
00:21:48.000 The best.
00:21:49.000 And the people are so cool.
00:21:50.000 It's like, you guys are like, if you took like...
00:21:53.000 30,000 of the best people from Austin and brought them to North Carolina.
00:21:58.000 That's what Asheville is.
00:21:59.000 It's like, what are you guys doing here?
00:22:00.000 This is weird.
00:22:02.000 Really cool bars, and everybody walks around.
00:22:05.000 I played there like six months ago, and I told them, I was like, you guys should build a wall around this city.
00:22:12.000 I know, right?
00:22:12.000 Because it's great here.
00:22:14.000 Yeah, the area outside of it is very strange.
00:22:17.000 There's still parts of this country that haven't recovered from the Civil War.
00:22:21.000 Yeah.
00:22:21.000 It really is.
00:22:22.000 That's not a joke.
00:22:23.000 No, I know, I know.
00:22:24.000 There's parts of this country where you're driving through, and you'll run into small towns.
00:22:29.000 That still have, like, the vague echoes of the Civil War.
00:22:32.000 Dude, I grew up in that.
00:22:33.000 Richmond, Virginia.
00:22:34.000 I'm named after Robert E. Lee.
00:22:36.000 Oh my god, are you really?
00:22:37.000 Yeah, my high school was the Confederate Rebels.
00:22:40.000 Holy shit.
00:22:41.000 Mascot.
00:22:41.000 Did you guys have a rebel flag?
00:22:43.000 Rebel flag.
00:22:44.000 We had a rebel flag the first year it was there, then they finally decided that it was offensive.
00:22:48.000 So they took away the flag, but kept the rebel soldier as the mascot.
00:22:52.000 Oh my god.
00:22:53.000 Wow.
00:22:54.000 Dude, are you drinking whiskey?
00:22:55.000 What is that?
00:22:55.000 It's just water.
00:22:56.000 It's water in like a flask?
00:22:58.000 Yep.
00:22:59.000 What are they doing?
00:22:59.000 Are they trying to get crafty?
00:23:00.000 They're getting crafty.
00:23:01.000 It's Fred.
00:23:02.000 My name is Fred.
00:23:03.000 Drink my water.
00:23:04.000 It came off my breast.
00:23:05.000 What is Fred water?
00:23:07.000 That's Fred water?
00:23:07.000 That's how you advertise a drink now.
00:23:09.000 You just change the shape of the bottle.
00:23:10.000 Yeah, he made it.
00:23:11.000 He made me talk about it.
00:23:12.000 Why is his name on the front of the bottle?
00:23:14.000 Isn't that water?
00:23:15.000 Shouldn't it just say water, you fuck?
00:23:16.000 Why does it say Fred?
00:23:17.000 Fred is in giant letters and underneath it in tiny letters it says water.
00:23:21.000 Look at that.
00:23:22.000 That's ridiculous, Fred.
00:23:23.000 But you got me.
00:23:24.000 Here I am.
00:23:25.000 I'm talking about it.
00:23:26.000 You won.
00:23:26.000 He won.
00:23:27.000 That's how I'm marketing this.
00:23:27.000 Fucking Fred won.
00:23:29.000 Were you surprised when they pulled the Confederate flag off the General Lee?
00:23:33.000 Did that freak you out?
00:23:34.000 Off the General Lee?
00:23:35.000 Yeah.
00:23:36.000 Dude, I had the Dukes of Hazzard bed sheets.
00:23:39.000 I think I had the poster.
00:23:40.000 They had the poster.
00:23:42.000 When they pulled that off TV land, I was like, whoa.
00:23:46.000 Dude, it is a different history.
00:23:47.000 Growing up in Richmond, Virginia, I was 12 before anyone mentioned we lost the Civil War.
00:23:52.000 I was like, wait, we didn't win?
00:23:54.000 So you knew there was a Civil War, but you didn't know that the South lost?
00:23:58.000 No, I just, yeah, because it's talked about almost like a victory, because they talk about it like, oh, the grand old times of Civil War and stuff like that.
00:24:05.000 Do they really?
00:24:06.000 Yeah, and I was like, wait, we lost?
00:24:09.000 What?
00:24:12.000 Monument Avenue in Richmond, Virginia is basically all Civil War quote-unquote heroes, meaning the losers.
00:24:18.000 Wow.
00:24:21.000 It's crazy that that was so recent.
00:24:23.000 That 1865 was so recent.
00:24:26.000 Dude, a hundred years ago there was like slavery.
00:24:28.000 Pretty much.
00:24:29.000 Pretty close.
00:24:31.000 1916, I mean, there's probably a...
00:24:33.000 Well, there's slavery now.
00:24:34.000 It's not been that long.
00:24:35.000 Well, yeah.
00:24:36.000 There is slavery.
00:24:37.000 That's the craziest thing.
00:24:38.000 There's not slavery now necessarily in America, but there's more slaves in the world now because there's more people in the world.
00:24:44.000 Also, there are more black people in prison right now than there were slaves during the Civil War.
00:24:49.000 We imprisoned so many people, and those people are largely, a lot of them, are forced to labor for a nickel an hour or whatever.
00:24:56.000 We have a stipulation in the Constitution that you can have slavery as long as they're in prison.
00:25:00.000 Yeah, we've been talking about that a lot.
00:25:02.000 Apparently there's a documentary about that on Netflix.
00:25:05.000 13th.
00:25:05.000 Did you see it?
00:25:06.000 Yeah.
00:25:06.000 How is it?
00:25:07.000 It's great.
00:25:07.000 I keep hearing it.
00:25:08.000 I get real close to it and I go, God damn it, I haven't caught up on narcos.
00:25:11.000 I'd like to find out about real shit.
00:25:13.000 I got like one episode left.
00:25:15.000 I need to be entertained.
00:25:16.000 I want to watch Westworld.
00:25:17.000 Sorry.
00:25:17.000 It's not looking good for Escobar.
00:25:19.000 It's not looking good, man.
00:25:21.000 I'm worried what's going to happen.
00:25:22.000 I'm worried too, but he is the star of the show, so hopefully he'll pull through.
00:25:26.000 How are you going to have another season?
00:25:27.000 It just seems like he's digging a hole for himself that he's just not going to come out of.
00:25:31.000 He should start treating people better.
00:25:33.000 I mean, you keep killing people, eventually someone's gonna kill you.
00:25:37.000 I mean, that's just what I think.
00:25:38.000 If he just said thank you a little more, please and thank you.
00:25:41.000 It is absolutely insane that you can have a minimum wage, except when you've trapped someone for a crime.
00:25:50.000 Then not only do they have to pay for that crime by being incarcerated, but then they have to work and make pennies.
00:25:56.000 Dude, it's such a game.
00:25:58.000 Another great book by Taibbi is The Divide talks about this.
00:26:02.000 It's like...
00:26:03.000 Matt Taibbi's book?
00:26:05.000 Matt Taibbi.
00:26:05.000 Love that guy.
00:26:06.000 The cops just run around, look for mostly black people standing on the corner, sometimes in front of their own apartment, charge them for loitering or something, and then they take a plea deal because they're told, like, hey, do you want months of a trial where you could spend a year in jail, or do you want to take this plea deal and just have a tiny charge?
00:26:22.000 And so they all take the plea deal.
00:26:23.000 So now they're in the system.
00:26:25.000 And it's just railroading.
00:26:28.000 It's so crazy.
00:26:29.000 It's so crazy that people have made an industry off of...
00:26:33.000 Like, there's money to be made from keeping people locked up.
00:26:36.000 It's just the way that we've allowed that to happen, it's so shameful because it's sort of just everybody sort of woke up as adults and was like, what?
00:26:45.000 How many private prisons are there?
00:26:47.000 How many people are in jail?
00:26:48.000 Wait a minute.
00:26:49.000 What percentage of who or what?
00:26:51.000 We're 5% of the world's population, 25% of the world's prisoners.
00:26:55.000 We have way more prisoners than any country.
00:26:58.000 God.
00:26:58.000 And it's all like it's going on without us looking, you know?
00:27:01.000 I mean, not obviously for violent crimes, but let's just talk about the non-violent ones.
00:27:07.000 Isn't that like 50%?
00:27:08.000 Yeah, most people in prison are non-violent.
00:27:11.000 So 50% of them are locked up in jail for something non-violent.
00:27:15.000 And then what percentage of those are drugs?
00:27:17.000 I don't know, but it's a lot.
00:27:19.000 A lot of this has to do with the drug war.
00:27:22.000 Yeah, I mean...
00:27:24.000 I think, like, theft and obviously all the violent crimes, but all those things, that sort of rationalizes you need some sort of punishment.
00:27:32.000 But has anybody ever even proven that prison is effective?
00:27:35.000 No, it's not at all.
00:27:37.000 Because here's the thing, it destroys most people's lives.
00:27:39.000 They can't get a job when they get out.
00:27:41.000 Their family's been broken up.
00:27:42.000 Their community's been broken up.
00:27:43.000 So it's like, you get out, and then how do you put things together?
00:27:47.000 So it doesn't help people.
00:27:49.000 It doesn't help them get to a regular, you know, upstanding citizen level.
00:27:53.000 And a lot of people, it institutionalizes.
00:27:55.000 Yeah, yeah, if you're in long enough.
00:27:57.000 Yeah.
00:27:58.000 So, but here's the thing.
00:27:59.000 The big question is, like, what could be done that's better?
00:28:03.000 What does that say, Jamie?
00:28:04.000 What are you putting up?
00:28:05.000 Well, first of all, if it's a non-violent, you know, I think you shouldn't be in jail.
00:28:10.000 Yeah, that one sticking out, what do you think it is?
00:28:14.000 Different offenses?
00:28:15.000 Is that what it is?
00:28:15.000 Oh, is that drugs?
00:28:16.000 Yeah, those are drug charges.
00:28:18.000 The giant one is the drug charges?
00:28:20.000 Yeah, those people are incarcerated for drug offenses.
00:28:22.000 See, that's crazy.
00:28:23.000 46%.
00:28:24.000 Oh my God, that's crazy.
00:28:27.000 Look at those numbers.
00:28:28.000 The only thing, scroll down a little more.
00:28:31.000 Yeah, the only thing even above 10% is drugs.
00:28:34.000 Okay, and weapons.
00:28:35.000 Look, here's the thing.
00:28:35.000 You're not stopping people from selling drugs, obviously.
00:28:39.000 Plus, there's a bunch of other drugs that are available legally with prescriptions.
00:28:44.000 You need to stop this illegal drug thing.
00:28:48.000 You need to stop telling grown adults what they can or can't do.
00:28:52.000 Keep it away from children, make strict laws about the age restrictions, put a lot of money into education, and stop putting people in fucking cages for doing things they want to do, like coke.
00:29:02.000 If somebody wants to do coke, let them go do coke.
00:29:05.000 What do you give a fuck?
00:29:06.000 They can go drink whiskey until they die, and everybody's fine with that.
00:29:09.000 And then people go, oh, well, they do coke and they commit crimes.
00:29:13.000 Well, then arrest them for the crimes.
00:29:14.000 Exactly.
00:29:15.000 You don't arrest them for the coke.
00:29:16.000 Alcohol is a huge factor in crimes.
00:29:19.000 I mean, how many people have committed horrible crimes because they've been drunk?
00:29:22.000 Yeah.
00:29:23.000 And fights and beating the shit out of people.
00:29:26.000 That's all alcohol.
00:29:27.000 I was around a gang of drunk people last night.
00:29:29.000 Stone sober.
00:29:30.000 It's not a good time.
00:29:32.000 Not a good time.
00:29:32.000 Not a good time, man.
00:29:34.000 People, they get fucking crazy.
00:29:36.000 Especially, I would hate to be a woman.
00:29:39.000 At a bar?
00:29:40.000 Oh, yeah.
00:29:41.000 Fucking sleazeballs.
00:29:43.000 And here's the thing.
00:29:44.000 I love drinking.
00:29:45.000 I love my whiskey.
00:29:46.000 I'm a fucking big fan.
00:29:48.000 But if you can't handle it, Wanna drink right now?
00:29:51.000 No, I gotta drive.
00:29:52.000 Pussy!
00:29:53.000 You gotta drive somewhere!
00:29:54.000 Have a little drinky poo.
00:29:55.000 Just one little sip of the good stuff.
00:29:57.000 We got a little bit of Jack Daniels for you over here.
00:30:02.000 Yeah, man, booze is a sketchy drug.
00:30:05.000 Because I enjoy it, I like it, but ooh, is it for everybody?
00:30:08.000 It's like, there's a lot of things like that, though.
00:30:11.000 How come you can just go to a Chevrolet dealership and buy a Corvette?
00:30:16.000 Do you know how to drive that thing?
00:30:17.000 You know how to drive?
00:30:18.000 I know you know how to hit your blinker.
00:30:20.000 You know how to handle a 600 horsepower fucking demon ride?
00:30:23.000 You could just buy that?
00:30:25.000 These cars today, because of the horsepower wars, every year they're ramping up their speed, they're ramping up their handling, they're ramping up the braking, like the distance between, you know, like zero to 60 braking or 60 to zero.
00:30:37.000 Those things are supercars now.
00:30:39.000 And any regular kid, if you have enough money, they're like, what's the Corvette, like $50,000 or $60,000?
00:30:46.000 If you can get that money together somehow and get that loan, you can have something that's insane.
00:30:51.000 Right.
00:30:52.000 You can just drive right into people and kill people.
00:30:55.000 Like the responsibility.
00:30:56.000 Like having a big giant truck, the responsibility of driving that thing.
00:31:01.000 Like all those things are dangerous.
00:31:03.000 Yeah.
00:31:04.000 And we allow people to do it.
00:31:05.000 I mean, yeah, we accept that there is a certain level of harm or death for things that we want as freedoms, and that should go through a lot of things.
00:31:14.000 It should go through with drugs.
00:31:16.000 It's like there's a certain level of harm or death people might do to themselves, and if they start doing it to others, we arrest them for that.
00:31:21.000 One of the things I was thinking of when I brought up the car things, I wanted to ask you how you feel about this oncoming onset of autonomous cars.
00:31:29.000 What's happening, man?
00:31:31.000 I talked about this last night in my stand-up.
00:31:34.000 Uber has now put self-driving cars in Pittsburgh.
00:31:36.000 They're trying it out.
00:31:38.000 This is a massive employer in our country.
00:31:41.000 It's transportation.
00:31:42.000 It's huge.
00:31:43.000 Those are going away.
00:31:44.000 Those jobs are going to go away soon.
00:31:45.000 And I think that's fine because what that should do, if we were fucking rational beings, is that time and money savings should go to people.
00:31:56.000 It should go to all of us.
00:31:57.000 If we hate our job, we should be working less because technology can handle it now.
00:32:01.000 Instead, everybody's just working their goddamn asses off at jobs they hate because all of that time and savings is going to the elites that run these corporations.
00:32:11.000 It's not going to the people.
00:32:14.000 People are working themselves to death to feed a family.
00:32:17.000 It's completely nonsense.
00:32:19.000 But how does that have to do with the Uber thing, though?
00:32:22.000 Well, because transportation is a major employer in this country.
00:32:25.000 Isn't it like 40-something percent of all white men over a certain age work in some sort of an industry where they drive a vehicle?
00:32:32.000 I am not sure, but...
00:32:33.000 I might have made that up.
00:32:34.000 How about that?
00:32:35.000 I like it.
00:32:36.000 I'll use your made-up fact.
00:32:38.000 I'm a fan.
00:32:39.000 According to Joe Rogan, people will go, oh, they'll just raise their eyebrows.
00:32:42.000 Oh, the Fear Factor guy's got opinions on driving.
00:32:45.000 But no, I think self-driving cars should be great.
00:32:48.000 They're going to get better and better, and then they'll Right, but when you say that the money is going away, it's not really, right?
00:32:57.000 Because someone has to make those cars, someone has to maintain those cars, someone has to run the Uber software.
00:33:01.000 It's just the driver aspect of it is going away.
00:33:04.000 The human labor part is going away.
00:33:06.000 Right, but we're making all those cars to begin with.
00:33:09.000 Right, but if it's way safer and people's lives are saved over people having jobs that are not a lot of fun anyway, for technological progress, when you look at the future of our culture,
00:33:25.000 As much as I love automobiles, I love them.
00:33:28.000 I love engineering.
00:33:29.000 I'm a giant fan of auto engineering.
00:33:31.000 But they're going to go away.
00:33:33.000 We're going to have autonomous vehicles.
00:33:35.000 It's going to happen just like everybody has a cell phone.
00:33:37.000 You can't find it.
00:33:38.000 The hard thing is going to be getting a license to drive a car on your own without any sort of...
00:33:44.000 That'll be sad.
00:33:45.000 I didn't even think of that.
00:33:46.000 It's gonna happen, man.
00:33:47.000 If you have an old Corvette or something like that, you're gonna have to have a license to drive that old Corvette with your shitty-ass drum brakes and skinny, fucked-up tires.
00:33:56.000 And people like to think, oh, no, the autonomous thing won't happen because, you know, an autonomous car will kill someone, and then...
00:34:04.000 It's like, well, yeah, but they don't need to be better.
00:34:06.000 They don't need to be the best ever.
00:34:07.000 They just need to be better than humans.
00:34:08.000 And they're going to be better than humans quickly.
00:34:10.000 Yeah, like they're going to be instantly better than humans.
00:34:12.000 And by the way, with all those sensors that they could put on those things, have you ever seen how they respond?
00:34:17.000 They're really good at responding to like cars swerving at them.
00:34:20.000 They hit the brakes.
00:34:21.000 And if they're all doing that, as long as the code is good and the machinery is good and nothing gets fucked up, That's the big thing.
00:34:28.000 If it gets fucked up, will it have enough checkpoints?
00:34:31.000 Will it be able to do an assessment of itself and know whether or not it should be driving?
00:34:35.000 Although, here's the big question.
00:34:37.000 It'll eventually get to a point where it's taking away our freedom in a lot of ways because these things are going to drive the speed limit and it's going to drive us fucking nuts.
00:34:46.000 That's true.
00:34:48.000 You're going to be sitting there and it's going to become illegal to go above the speed limit because self-driving cars will go the speed limit.
00:34:53.000 Yeah, you're gonna have to follow the rules.
00:34:55.000 It's gonna be awful.
00:34:57.000 We'll just have to find some Russian dude who knows a guy with a chip.
00:35:00.000 He's gonna hot rod out your shit.
00:35:03.000 I got one of the bots that breaks the law.
00:35:06.000 I got one of the criminal bots.
00:35:08.000 I mean, but if we're gonna progress, And go from here to some new state of technological excellence, which we undoubtedly will if we stay alive, right?
00:35:18.000 I mean, every civilization, every culture in this country, as far as we've been measuring it, just keeps getting better and better and better at figuring things out.
00:35:25.000 More and more efficient.
00:35:26.000 Although we're polluting more and damaging the earth more, our capabilities keep getting more and more powerful.
00:35:32.000 There's going to come a point in time, I think, where it was inevitable that people had to stop powering machines with their hands.
00:35:40.000 We should probably get out of that as quick as we can and concentrate on using our brains.
00:35:45.000 The idea that the person who drives the car could only drive the car, that's kind of crazy because I used to drive cars.
00:35:49.000 Did you ever drive cars before?
00:35:51.000 Yeah.
00:35:51.000 I drove limos.
00:35:52.000 So I used to drive and deliver newspapers.
00:35:54.000 So I've been in driving jobs, right?
00:35:56.000 And I can do other stuff.
00:35:58.000 I can do other stuff!
00:35:59.000 People can do other stuff!
00:36:00.000 You can find another thing that you like to do.
00:36:01.000 It's not like, this guy lost his job!
00:36:04.000 The only way he feeds his family!
00:36:06.000 Okay.
00:36:06.000 I feel terrible that you lost your job.
00:36:09.000 I feel terrible that anybody loses their job and they have a hard time feeding their family.
00:36:12.000 But when you're talking about a job, I know it's hard to get jobs, but people lose and gain jobs all the time.
00:36:20.000 It does happen.
00:36:21.000 You gotta find one that's better than this one.
00:36:24.000 Right.
00:36:25.000 I mean, I agree, but for one thing, not everyone is smart enough to get a really intelligent job.
00:36:31.000 There's a lot of dummies.
00:36:33.000 There's a lot of dummies.
00:36:33.000 We fix that with Alex Jones genius pills from the CIA basement.
00:36:39.000 Luther Vandross got a hold of these in 1984. There was a period of six months where he didn't sing because they had him locked up.
00:36:47.000 In the basement of the dungeon in Virginia, colloidal silver will fix you.
00:36:53.000 Did you ever see that dude who drank too much colloidal silver and he turned blue?
00:36:56.000 Oh, yeah.
00:36:57.000 I did see the blue guy.
00:36:58.000 That's what that's from.
00:36:59.000 And he died.
00:37:00.000 Well, he died, but he was old.
00:37:02.000 Oh.
00:37:02.000 Like, he died just for being old.
00:37:03.000 He didn't die for being blue?
00:37:05.000 I don't think so.
00:37:06.000 Maybe he might have.
00:37:07.000 Maybe I'm wrong.
00:37:08.000 I think he just died.
00:37:09.000 I'm waiting for one day for Alex Jones to go, guys, I need to tell you.
00:37:13.000 I don't have the papers.
00:37:14.000 I don't have the documents.
00:37:15.000 I've got the documents!
00:37:17.000 I've been lying the whole time!
00:37:18.000 They're right here!
00:37:19.000 I don't have...
00:37:20.000 I lost the documents!
00:37:21.000 I lost...
00:37:22.000 I had them!
00:37:22.000 I spilled coffee on them.
00:37:24.000 But he had some documents.
00:37:25.000 That's the fucking problem.
00:37:27.000 Did you ever see...
00:37:27.000 He had a documentary that one of them really opened my eyes.
00:37:31.000 It was 9-1-1 Road to Tyranny, and it was another typical You know, he's talking about the demise of civilization and all these different things.
00:37:42.000 But then he goes into the WTO and the WTO protests.
00:37:48.000 Yeah.
00:37:48.000 And this is where it got really crazy.
00:37:50.000 99?
00:37:50.000 Yeah.
00:37:51.000 And he showed that all of these anarchists came in.
00:37:56.000 There's all these peaceful protesters.
00:37:57.000 And then all these anarchists came in with like ski masks on and government issue boots.
00:38:04.000 And started smashing everything.
00:38:05.000 They're literally wearing military issue boots.
00:38:07.000 They start knocking over newspaper dispensers and smashing car windows and storefronts and stuff like that.
00:38:14.000 So then the cops move in.
00:38:15.000 So the cops have to move in.
00:38:17.000 So then these guys get ramped up into some building.
00:38:20.000 They get cornered in some building.
00:38:21.000 They negotiate their release and then they're released without charges.
00:38:24.000 Oh yeah, the provocateur thing.
00:38:26.000 That's insane.
00:38:27.000 That shit happens all the time.
00:38:28.000 I mean, at the end of Occupy, it's like half of those camps were infiltrated cops.
00:38:33.000 Like, we're just plain coast cops.
00:38:35.000 Well, here's what they did with Seattle.
00:38:38.000 Was it Seattle?
00:38:39.000 The WTO? Yeah, yeah, Seattle.
00:38:40.000 They made people take off.
00:38:42.000 They had badges, like if someone had a pin that they were wearing that had a WTO with a red line through it.
00:38:48.000 They said this is a no protest zone.
00:38:51.000 You can't get through this zone with any form of protest.
00:38:54.000 So even a pin that says WTO with a red line through it, they were telling people you can't get to your job with that pin on.
00:39:01.000 You gotta be in the freedom of speech zone.
00:39:03.000 We've fenced off four feet.
00:39:05.000 That's the freedom of speech zone.
00:39:06.000 Dude, that's what's happening in Standing Rock right now.
00:39:08.000 Have you talked about Standing Rock on here?
00:39:09.000 No, I haven't.
00:39:11.000 We've talked about it very briefly because I've been trying to pay attention to it.
00:39:14.000 It's getting crazy out there.
00:39:15.000 Look at it from both sides.
00:39:17.000 You know, this group, Standing Rock, the Standing Rock Sioux, they don't want an oil pipeline through their fucking water supply.
00:39:23.000 That should be their right.
00:39:25.000 And instead, it's this corporation that's just plowing through their sacred land.
00:39:30.000 And, you know, the cops, a girl had her arm nearly blown off.
00:39:34.000 They didn't quite have to amputate with a concussion grenade by the cops.
00:39:37.000 I heard that, and then the conspiracy theory online was that it wasn't a concussion grenade, that it was something that they had launched, and then it went bad, because there was more than one propane tank grenade or some shit.
00:39:49.000 I haven't read that.
00:39:50.000 Jamie, see if you can find out.
00:39:51.000 Get to the bottom of it, Jamie.
00:39:53.000 But yeah, I saw them spraying water on the protesters.
00:39:56.000 It was like 40 degrees out.
00:39:58.000 They're hosing these people down with water.
00:39:59.000 It was 23 degrees, though.
00:40:00.000 Sub-freezing temperatures.
00:40:02.000 Was it really?
00:40:02.000 Yeah.
00:40:03.000 And they're hosing them in water.
00:40:04.000 And now, this is the best part on top of that, the governor signed a mandatory eviction thing for all of them, saying it's because of cold temperatures and we're worried about your safety.
00:40:13.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:40:15.000 Yeah, we're real worried about...
00:40:16.000 We're gonna hit you with concussion grenades because we're worried about your safety.
00:40:19.000 People are getting jacked by those rubber bullets, too.
00:40:21.000 Rubber bullets can take an eye out, folks.
00:40:23.000 Those things are no joke.
00:40:24.000 They fucking hurt you bad, too.
00:40:26.000 I know a girl who lost an eye to a...
00:40:29.000 They shot a tear gas canister that hit her in the eye.
00:40:33.000 Oh, my God.
00:40:35.000 Yeah, no, these less than lethal rounds can fucking do some damage.
00:40:38.000 You can't just, that's like really weak assault.
00:40:43.000 That's like going up to someone.
00:40:44.000 You say you didn't start a fight, but you start spitting at them and slapping them.
00:40:49.000 You're not trying to kill them, but you're definitely hurting them.
00:40:52.000 Like, what the fuck are you doing?
00:40:54.000 And they're going after reporters.
00:40:55.000 This girl, Erin Schrode, she's been on ABC as a commentator and stuff.
00:40:59.000 She was down there.
00:41:00.000 There's video of her.
00:41:02.000 Viral video of her where she's interviewing a guy.
00:41:04.000 As she's interviewing, she gets shot by a sniper with a rubber bullet.
00:41:08.000 Yeah, for doing nothing.
00:41:10.000 For just interviewing her.
00:41:11.000 Yeah, I've seen that.
00:41:12.000 Jamie, have you seen that?
00:41:14.000 It's incredible.
00:41:15.000 She's just sitting there talking to somebody and she gets shot.
00:41:18.000 It's nuts!
00:41:19.000 It's nuts!
00:41:20.000 They just fucking...
00:41:20.000 They just take pot shots at you.
00:41:23.000 Yeah, man.
00:41:24.000 And it also creates this us-versus-them environment where these guys who are hired to be the cops that get rid of the protesters, those are just regular people.
00:41:35.000 And they've been given orders to get rid of these protesters and then the protesters become the enemy.
00:41:39.000 And it becomes an us-versus-them scenario, which we're so accustomed to.
00:41:43.000 And a lot of them are coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan, and they're used to war zones.
00:41:47.000 And this shouldn't be a war zone.
00:41:49.000 This should be peaceful protesters, which it is.
00:41:52.000 Exactly.
00:41:53.000 You know, I don't know what the answer is to something like that.
00:41:56.000 I don't know how you stop what's already been done.
00:41:58.000 And I don't know how you ever got permission to go through somebody's land.
00:42:03.000 If land is public, okay, that's one thing.
00:42:06.000 If you want to have a debate on whether or not we could do what we could do with our own national public lands, I'm against that.
00:42:13.000 I'm against...
00:42:14.000 I'm against...
00:42:15.000 I think we fucked up so much of this country as it is.
00:42:18.000 Let's stop.
00:42:19.000 Let's not do any more of that.
00:42:20.000 But if that's private land, if it's private land...
00:42:23.000 They own the land.
00:42:25.000 Do they have a treaty?
00:42:25.000 It's their land?
00:42:26.000 Yeah, it's their land.
00:42:26.000 There's a rancher on the land too, right?
00:42:28.000 It's their land.
00:42:28.000 No, yeah, yeah.
00:42:29.000 The rancher?
00:42:29.000 They're going to a rancher's land too?
00:42:31.000 There's another woman in Iowa.
00:42:32.000 Same pipeline though.
00:42:33.000 Dakota Access.
00:42:34.000 Cindy Coppola, she's a farmer.
00:42:37.000 She's not Native American.
00:42:38.000 She's a white woman, farmer in Iowa.
00:42:40.000 They're coming through her own farm.
00:42:42.000 They arrested her for getting in their way.
00:42:44.000 Yeah, they said they had to have access.
00:42:45.000 And so they made some sort of an easement, right?
00:42:48.000 They just, yeah.
00:42:49.000 They just decide.
00:42:49.000 They go into the city council and they get something passed and it's eminent domain and they just take the land.
00:42:55.000 See, that's what the problem is, folks.
00:42:57.000 This is a company.
00:42:58.000 This is not the United States government safety commission that needs this oil to protect us from impending invaders.
00:43:06.000 There's nothing in your best interest about this.
00:43:09.000 This is all money.
00:43:10.000 They're not going to give you free oil because they got that oil through you.
00:43:13.000 Most of it's shipped overseas.
00:43:14.000 It doesn't even go to us.
00:43:15.000 It's billions of dollars in profit.
00:43:17.000 That's the darkness of this, is that they're going through land that's not theirs, and they think they just can because they want oil.
00:43:23.000 Like, I've seen people argue that, you know, oh, this is exaggerated or that's exaggerated, but here's the cold fact that you can't ignore.
00:43:30.000 They're going through somebody else's land against their will.
00:43:33.000 So either it's their land Or it's not their land.
00:43:36.000 So it's their land.
00:43:38.000 Do they have a treaty?
00:43:39.000 Yes.
00:43:40.000 Does this guy have a ranch?
00:43:41.000 Yes.
00:43:41.000 Does he own it?
00:43:41.000 Yes.
00:43:42.000 Stop.
00:43:44.000 You're the government?
00:43:45.000 Right.
00:43:45.000 You know what that means?
00:43:46.000 You're people.
00:43:46.000 People can't go through other people's fucking ground because they think they want to.
00:43:51.000 You can't just do that.
00:43:53.000 The hypothetical idea is that we elected these people to do our bidding, not to do the corporation's bidding, whatever the fuck they want to make profit.
00:44:03.000 Yeah, whether you're left-wing or right-wing, that's the most insane proposition is giving the government that kind of power to just go through private land and pump an oil pipeline under a fucking river.
00:44:14.000 And that's where mostly the left and right come together.
00:44:16.000 It's like libertarians, the left, nobody wants to just be like, oh yeah, you can just plow through someone's land whether they want it or not.
00:44:23.000 And it's inconvenient for people to poo-poo because it's not your land.
00:44:27.000 But if it was your land, what if you had this bitchin' stream in your backyard, and you used to like to catch trout in it, and you're like, God damn it, baby, we found the perfect spot to build a house.
00:44:34.000 And you set up and everything's good.
00:44:35.000 And then one day you go out and the fish are fucking belly up, and the water's rainbow-hued because it's filled with oil.
00:44:42.000 And you're like, oh no, the pipeline's leaking.
00:44:45.000 Yeah.
00:44:46.000 That pipe under your house that they forced you to have, now it's leaking.
00:44:49.000 They're going through the Missouri River and it's the drinking water for 18 million people.
00:44:55.000 And that's what they're fighting against.
00:44:56.000 Dude, I know a guy who had bone cancer and his entire neighborhood had cancer.
00:45:00.000 Yeah.
00:45:00.000 Because they lived next to a golf course.
00:45:02.000 And the golf course, the water from all the pesticides, it was getting into the groundwater and they were drinking out of well water.
00:45:08.000 Oh, Jesus.
00:45:09.000 These people got jacked.
00:45:10.000 Yeah, that's where you really see it.
00:45:13.000 There was a whole neighborhood in Greenpoint, Brooklyn that had brain tumors and stuff because there was an oil spill underneath the streets.
00:45:21.000 It's crazy.
00:45:23.000 Jesus, Jamie!
00:45:25.000 He just did it, too!
00:45:26.000 This is on Snopes, though, so you can hear me.
00:45:28.000 Unprecedented!
00:45:28.000 Three and one!
00:45:29.000 Unprecedented!
00:45:31.000 Jamie, what have you done?
00:45:32.000 What have you done to Jamie?
00:45:33.000 Did you come in here with a spell?
00:45:35.000 Is there some sort of magic you have, Lee Camp?
00:45:38.000 Some sort of lefty magic?
00:45:40.000 Dump water all over control panels.
00:45:43.000 Man, it just makes me sad.
00:45:45.000 Oh, here we go.
00:45:46.000 Police blame Wolanski's injury on protesters.
00:45:51.000 While we could not reach law enforcement, Morton County Sheriff's Department released a statement on Facebook on the 23rd of November 2016 saying the injury was caused by an exploding propane canister that protesters were handling.
00:46:02.000 They later removed the post.
00:46:04.000 But Wayne Walensky told us the statement was false.
00:46:09.000 Sophia had no burns on her.
00:46:10.000 And while a major portion of her lower arm was blown out, her hand was still attached by the ulna bone.
00:46:27.000 So it's a flash grenade.
00:46:30.000 It's a flash grenade, yeah.
00:46:31.000 Well, when crazy things like this happen, there's always a lot of stories floating around.
00:46:36.000 It's hard to figure out what is what.
00:46:37.000 Oh, there's some viral post that everyone's sending me of a woman, a Native American woman, saying they're dumping chemicals on the protesters, and yet, if you talk to...
00:46:46.000 Anybody else, it's not true, or it doesn't seem verified, and yet it's so viral.
00:46:52.000 Everybody's emailing me this post of them dumping chemicals on the protest.
00:46:55.000 Yeah, well, that's what people do.
00:46:57.000 Did you see the, I think it was, I forget one of the online magazines, caught up with a guy who creates fake news stories?
00:47:05.000 And they asked him, you know, why he did it.
00:47:07.000 It's really interesting.
00:47:08.000 He was on a dig the other day.
00:47:09.000 Clicks.
00:47:10.000 Well, not just that.
00:47:11.000 It was also, he is, um, he's actually a Democrat, the guy who did it, who they interviewed.
00:47:17.000 And they said that he was trying to expose how vulnerable the right is, in particular, to really obviously fake stories.
00:47:25.000 So he'd make these really obviously fake stories that anybody could, like, in a couple seconds...
00:47:29.000 There was one about the Pope endorsing Trump.
00:47:31.000 It went viral in the right.
00:47:34.000 Well, it was one of them about a paid protester, how much protesters are getting.
00:47:38.000 These protesters are getting $300 an hour or something.
00:47:41.000 Just ridiculous shit.
00:47:42.000 And then these fucking people ran with it.
00:47:44.000 George Soros is paying those protesters!
00:47:47.000 You know, as if all these protesters...
00:47:49.000 Soros has given free hand jobs to every protester.
00:47:52.000 Dude, I was in New York for the protests.
00:47:54.000 It was fascinating.
00:47:55.000 It seemed like a lot of- Which protests?
00:47:57.000 Right after Trump won.
00:47:59.000 Oh, oh.
00:47:59.000 It seemed like so much weird energy.
00:48:01.000 So much chaotic, lost energy.
00:48:04.000 To see the streets filled with people, I was like, wow, this is bananas.
00:48:10.000 They closed down streets.
00:48:12.000 They closed down entire streets with hundreds of thousands of people.
00:48:14.000 It's crazy.
00:48:14.000 Maybe even millions.
00:48:15.000 Yeah.
00:48:15.000 Just walking down the street, screaming out slogans.
00:48:19.000 I mean, my point is, yeah, they should be furious, but they should have been furious five years ago.
00:48:25.000 Like, why wait till this?
00:48:27.000 Because we have bills, bro.
00:48:28.000 We have shit to think about, you know?
00:48:31.000 Got problems.
00:48:32.000 My bowling game's down.
00:48:35.000 My bowling game's down.
00:48:36.000 Dude, Westworld is good.
00:48:37.000 Westworld is good.
00:48:38.000 My kids keep flunking school.
00:48:39.000 People have all sorts of things to worry about.
00:48:41.000 No, I know.
00:48:42.000 They got shit to do.
00:48:43.000 They got shit to do.
00:48:44.000 That's why I think just even the idea of a person being president is fucking ridiculous.
00:48:49.000 Like, how's this guy gonna run the world?
00:48:50.000 Does he have a life?
00:48:52.000 He has an actual life?
00:48:53.000 He has family?
00:48:54.000 Doesn't he play golf?
00:48:55.000 Doesn't he have, like, things he likes to do?
00:48:57.000 Does he read?
00:48:57.000 How the fuck's this guy got time to do all that stuff?
00:49:00.000 Hey, Bush had time to take more vacation days than anyone had ever taken.
00:49:03.000 Probably a good move.
00:49:04.000 Probably good.
00:49:05.000 It's probably good.
00:49:05.000 I mean, we all knew that Dick Cheney was running the show anyway.
00:49:08.000 Yeah, I know.
00:49:09.000 We think we do.
00:49:10.000 But no, we've given increasing power to the president when the president was supposed to be one of three factors going on, and now we just keep feeding more and more power to the president.
00:49:19.000 And that's the thing.
00:49:20.000 People that like Obama, it's like he did not give away any power that no president gives away any power they've gotten.
00:49:27.000 So they just keep gaining and gaining power.
00:49:29.000 Yeah.
00:49:30.000 Well, that was the big question when the NDAA was proposed.
00:49:34.000 Remember that?
00:49:35.000 They said, what happens if Obama is a very reasonable guy, most likely he won't use indefinite detention, but what if you get some new president that's crazy?
00:49:44.000 And then look what happens.
00:49:46.000 There you are!
00:49:48.000 Here, let me give you a dictator's toolkit, the largest surveillance infrastructure ever.
00:49:53.000 Let me give you the right to lock up journalists without a trial or charges.
00:49:56.000 Let me give you the right to drone bomb Americans.
00:49:58.000 An American was executed in drone bombings.
00:50:03.000 Yeah.
00:50:04.000 As long as it's not over here.
00:50:06.000 As long as it's not in our patch of dirt, we're cool with you killing Americans with flying robots.
00:50:11.000 But no trial.
00:50:13.000 No trial, yeah.
00:50:14.000 What was he, an Al-Qaeda guy?
00:50:16.000 Was he ISIS? He joined ISIS or something?
00:50:19.000 Here's the thing, his, and I don't want to say the names because I'll get them wrong, but his father was preaching terrorism, so they executed him, and then they executed his 16-year-old son.
00:50:28.000 Nowhere near him.
00:50:29.000 They just took out the son.
00:50:30.000 They just decided the son was too risky?
00:50:32.000 They were like, eh, why not?
00:50:33.000 Whoa, that's some Game of Thrones shit.
00:50:34.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:50:35.000 Isn't it?
00:50:37.000 That is, right?
00:50:37.000 That's some Game of Thrones type shit.
00:50:39.000 You gotta kill the son.
00:50:40.000 And literally when they were finally answered as to why they had executed the son, one of the press secretary or someone goes, well, you know, he shouldn't have had a father like that.
00:50:50.000 Whoa.
00:50:52.000 Could you imagine if everyone were responsible for what their father did?
00:50:55.000 Jesus.
00:50:56.000 Ooh.
00:50:57.000 Imagine if every father was responsible for what their kid did.
00:50:59.000 Exactly.
00:51:00.000 My argument has always been, how come if your dog bites someone, you can get sued?
00:51:03.000 If your kid shoots up a post office?
00:51:07.000 You're not liable.
00:51:09.000 You know?
00:51:10.000 Like, up to a certain age, you should be liable for your kids.
00:51:14.000 Like, 23. You want to go that far?
00:51:16.000 Yeah.
00:51:16.000 23. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:51:17.000 You'll really work hard at doing a good job.
00:51:20.000 Make sure you don't unleash that little monster in the world, so we have to deal with it.
00:51:23.000 Listen, you dropped him 12 times and fed him mac and cheese all his life.
00:51:27.000 Yeah, you fucked him.
00:51:28.000 How about that?
00:51:29.000 You fucked him.
00:51:30.000 Yeah, I mean, how many people are out there fucking their kids?
00:51:32.000 It happens.
00:51:34.000 Yeah.
00:51:34.000 There's a lot of monsters out there, man.
00:51:37.000 People need hotter pets, and then they'd leave their kids alone.
00:51:39.000 Hotter pets?
00:51:40.000 I'm just kidding.
00:51:40.000 What?
00:51:41.000 Is that a bestiality joke?
00:51:44.000 Yep.
00:51:44.000 What the fuck, Lee Camp?
00:51:46.000 I've gone off the rail.
00:51:47.000 I was going to say something.
00:51:48.000 You totally derailed me.
00:51:50.000 That'll frighten your brain right there.
00:51:52.000 Yeah, not that I really think that people should be responsible for their kids.
00:51:56.000 It's odd what we are and aren't responsible.
00:51:59.000 It's just amazing how easy it is to just have a kid and then just do a shitty job raising it.
00:52:04.000 You just have to have a license to pump out...
00:52:07.000 Put these fleshy idiots into the world.
00:52:09.000 Well, it's not that you want to stop anybody from doing it, because who are you to tell?
00:52:13.000 I mean, somebody might want to tell you that Lee Campinol's bullshit about the elites.
00:52:17.000 You think that fucking asshole should have a kid?
00:52:19.000 Yeah, he's going to have a kid.
00:52:20.000 That little lefty fucking kid's going to go with my kid, and they're going to argue about some shit that I know is wrong.
00:52:27.000 I mean, they're gonna decide that you shouldn't have a kid, so who the fuck, you know, there's a lot of people way fucking smarter than me, and if it became an argument between who gets to breed, me or them, they're gonna win.
00:52:36.000 But I like having kids, so what the fuck?
00:52:39.000 I agree.
00:52:40.000 How many kids you got?
00:52:41.000 I have three.
00:52:42.000 I had to think about it for a second.
00:52:43.000 When you said I like having kids, I thought we were going to hear like seven or something.
00:52:46.000 No, I think about it because we were talking to John Jones yesterday and he's got four.
00:52:49.000 I left, I was like, God damn, you have four kids already?
00:52:51.000 He's trying for a boy?
00:52:54.000 But my point being, it's like, it's an uber complicated experience to just hand off to everybody and the outcome of Is a developed human being.
00:53:04.000 So we're counting on everybody to do a good job developing us.
00:53:09.000 Listen, the beginning of Idiocracy is the truest thing that's ever been created.
00:53:12.000 Do you remember that movie?
00:53:13.000 I never saw it.
00:53:14.000 I never saw it.
00:53:15.000 I have a bit, apparently, that's extremely similar to the premise of it.
00:53:18.000 It came out before the movie on Showtime, luckily, so it's documented.
00:53:23.000 Dude, that movie was so prescient, and they fucking knew what was going to happen.
00:53:27.000 At the very beginning of the movie, they just show a split screen of a really dumb idiot couple, maybe rednecks, but they're fucking morons.
00:53:39.000 They clearly don't know what the fuck's going on, and they're just pumping out kids.
00:53:42.000 They're just fucking dozens of kids.
00:53:44.000 And then they show these, you know, little liberal elite couple living in, you know, their brownstone in New York, deciding whether to have a child.
00:53:52.000 And each year goes by and they're like, you know, we decided not to yet.
00:53:55.000 We'll do it soon.
00:53:56.000 And they never have the kid.
00:53:58.000 And meanwhile, the rednecks have pumped out 42 kids.
00:54:01.000 It's like, well, there's your world.
00:54:03.000 That is what happens.
00:54:04.000 People that are career-oriented, especially if the husband and the wife can't decide who's going to stay home with the kid, if they're both career-oriented, it becomes a thing like, hey, let's wait until we're 36. Hey, let's wait until we're 42. Hey, let's freeze my eggs.
00:54:19.000 And the next thing you know, you adopt.
00:54:21.000 I think you should be allowed to freeze a kid at least up to five years old.
00:54:26.000 Adopting is a great idea, and it's awesome that a lot of people do it, but people want their own kids.
00:54:33.000 That's the other weird thing about DNA. It's like, you want your own DNA. The DNA pumped out.
00:54:37.000 Look at my boy.
00:54:38.000 That's my boy.
00:54:39.000 I look at you, son.
00:54:40.000 You came right out of my own body.
00:54:42.000 I'm here to teach you the way of the man.
00:54:48.000 It's a very odd thing that we do it so often, though.
00:54:52.000 Even me, I'm guilty.
00:54:53.000 I told you, I've got three of them.
00:54:54.000 But I look around, there's seven billion people on this planet.
00:54:56.000 I'm like, man, maybe we've got too many people?
00:55:00.000 Do you sit down with the kids and talk to them about it?
00:55:02.000 You say, hey guys, let's just all of us hang together.
00:55:05.000 You don't need your own kids.
00:55:06.000 Come on.
00:55:07.000 Come on, I had you.
00:55:09.000 Get a dog.
00:55:10.000 Get a nice dog.
00:55:11.000 Get a nice little dog.
00:55:12.000 There's a shitload of people.
00:55:14.000 That's the thing is, America, we are way outnumbered.
00:55:17.000 Oh yeah, way outnumbered, compared to the rest of the world.
00:55:21.000 You know, India.
00:55:22.000 Well, that's the cool thing about America, when you fly over.
00:55:24.000 Like, if the shit gets really bad, we have so many places to expand.
00:55:27.000 We have so many new subdivisions we could open up in the middle of nowhere.
00:55:30.000 Like, when you're flying over and you see nothing but empty space, like, oh, we could fucking just live here.
00:55:36.000 Yeah.
00:55:36.000 Lots of room.
00:55:37.000 There's plenty of space.
00:55:38.000 We just gotta settle down on the breeding.
00:55:41.000 You think about that when you're sitting in L.A. traffic.
00:55:43.000 You're like, you know how much space there is out there?
00:55:45.000 Why are we all in four feet?
00:55:46.000 In L.A. traffic is nothing, right?
00:55:48.000 Worldwide.
00:55:49.000 I've been to Mexico City.
00:55:50.000 Mexico City, stoplights aren't even a suggestion.
00:55:55.000 They're just bullshit.
00:55:57.000 Nobody's paying attention to anything.
00:55:58.000 It's a perpetual traffic jam and people are just weaseling left and right and trying to merge into this stream of perpetual gridlock.
00:56:07.000 They just go for it.
00:56:08.000 They just go for it.
00:56:09.000 And all of a sudden they're in the middle and they go for it.
00:56:11.000 No one's letting anybody in.
00:56:12.000 You gotta catch people that are sleeping or you just gotta be really rude about it.
00:56:16.000 And do you think the people in Mexico City would just like that initially?
00:56:19.000 Or do you think that came from like no cop wants to pull someone over because they don't want to get shot?
00:56:23.000 I think it's the population.
00:56:24.000 It's too high.
00:56:25.000 It's just too high.
00:56:26.000 Mexico City has an incredible population.
00:56:28.000 I think it's the number one city in the world.
00:56:31.000 Is Mexico City number one?
00:56:32.000 Tokyo, I think.
00:56:33.000 Tokyo is number one?
00:56:34.000 35 million in Tokyo.
00:56:35.000 Whoa!
00:56:35.000 Really?
00:56:36.000 35 million?
00:56:37.000 Dude, in Tokyo, they have people whose job it is to cram people onto the subways.
00:56:42.000 I've seen that.
00:56:43.000 It's insane.
00:56:44.000 They elbow the people onto the subways.
00:56:46.000 Yeah, how about that?
00:56:47.000 35 million people and the ground moves every couple years.
00:56:50.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:56:51.000 Good luck.
00:56:51.000 Yeah, have fun.
00:56:52.000 Stay together.
00:56:53.000 Keep it together, people.
00:56:55.000 But that's interesting.
00:56:57.000 37 million.
00:56:58.000 Oh my god.
00:56:59.000 37,800,000 in Tokyo.
00:57:01.000 Holy shit.
00:57:01.000 So that's number one.
00:57:02.000 And how many in Mexico City?
00:57:04.000 Probably not nearly as many as that.
00:57:06.000 I want to say 30. 21. We'll go with 30. Let's go with the Joe Rogan.
00:57:13.000 Let's go with the Joe Rogan.
00:57:14.000 It sounded better when I said 30. Either way, it's a totally congested city.
00:57:18.000 It's completely jammed up with people.
00:57:21.000 But LA's on the way to that.
00:57:24.000 It's on its way.
00:57:25.000 If it's not going to get there tomorrow, it'll get there in 20 years.
00:57:29.000 Yeah.
00:57:30.000 I don't know.
00:57:31.000 We should all go live out in the middle of nowhere.
00:57:34.000 The problem is this is a really good spot.
00:57:37.000 You know what else, speaking of how open the country is, is people fucking are buying up all the land.
00:57:41.000 Like the Scientologists own all the land.
00:57:43.000 Who is it?
00:57:44.000 Ted Turner, a guy who created CNN. He owns enough land in America that is equivalent to the size of Delaware.
00:57:49.000 Whoa.
00:57:50.000 Yeah.
00:57:51.000 He's balling out of control.
00:57:52.000 People buy up all the land.
00:57:53.000 He got rid of Jane Fonda because she became Christian.
00:57:56.000 Is that true?
00:57:57.000 Yeah.
00:57:58.000 No.
00:57:59.000 Definitely.
00:58:00.000 There's probably other factors.
00:58:01.000 I mean, I'm just saying it because it's a good soundbite, and that's what I read online.
00:58:05.000 She was great in newsroom, though.
00:58:06.000 Who the fuck knows?
00:58:06.000 I mean, maybe they just stopped liking each other.
00:58:08.000 Maybe.
00:58:09.000 What do I know?
00:58:09.000 What do I give a fuck?
00:58:10.000 But I just thought it was fascinating that she became a Christian, like, really late in life, and he's like, check!
00:58:14.000 Yeah.
00:58:15.000 No, I'd be the same way.
00:58:16.000 You can't show up, Christian, at my door.
00:58:18.000 Come on.
00:58:19.000 What if you were dating a girl and she was, like, super cool, but she got into yoga, and then she got into deities, and then she got into the writings of Christ, and you came home one day, and she's reading the Bible, and you're like, what are you doing?
00:58:29.000 It's just an interesting book.
00:58:31.000 Yeah.
00:58:31.000 Just an amazing book.
00:58:32.000 Well, I picked up this novel, and I decided I'm going to live my life by it.
00:58:36.000 Turner Ranch, Ted Turner's?
00:58:37.000 It's just weird.
00:58:38.000 The FAQ out keeps saying, Mr. Turner this, Mr. Turner that.
00:58:41.000 What did you say?
00:58:42.000 Oh, frequently asked questions?
00:58:43.000 How large are Mr. Turner's land holdings?
00:58:45.000 Mr. Turner is the second largest individual landowner in North America with approximately 2 million acres of personal and ranch land in the 12 U.S. states and Argentina.
00:58:59.000 Wow.
00:59:00.000 Argentina.
00:59:00.000 So now look up how many million acres is Delaware, and we'll see whether I'm making my shit up or whether I have it right.
00:59:06.000 There's something weird about owning a ranch in Argentina.
00:59:09.000 What's going on, bro?
00:59:11.000 You have a ranch here, you have two million acres here, and you got a ranch in Argentina?
00:59:15.000 Are you going to live forever?
00:59:16.000 What's happening, sir?
00:59:17.000 Well, you get to the brain in the jar.
00:59:20.000 Him and the Koch brothers are going to have their brains in jars running the big, almost twice the size of Delaware.
00:59:25.000 Wow, that's incredible.
00:59:27.000 That's incredible.
00:59:28.000 He's got more property than Delaware.
00:59:31.000 He's ballin' out of control.
00:59:32.000 Probably more entertaining than Delaware, too.
00:59:34.000 Ballin' out of control.
00:59:36.000 Do you think he's got a girlfriend?
00:59:37.000 Do you think he just ships in Russian?
00:59:40.000 Probably.
00:59:40.000 When you get to that much money, you just have Russian orgies, I think.
00:59:43.000 Yeah, they just show up.
00:59:44.000 Dude, have you heard the Sumner Redstone tapes during the trial?
00:59:47.000 What's that?
00:59:48.000 He's like, so he had this big trial, and he's like 98 or whatever he is, 96 or something, and the tapes that they played to show that he was with it were him arranging an orgy.
00:59:57.000 Oh my god.
00:59:58.000 In his 90s?
00:59:59.000 He's in his 90s, and he's like, so, you know, then you'll suck me off, and I'll...
01:00:03.000 Who is this guy?
01:00:05.000 Sumner Redstone.
01:00:06.000 He's one of the biggest media owners in the world, or whatever.
01:00:08.000 And how did they film him doing this?
01:00:10.000 It was a taped...
01:00:11.000 I don't know how it was recorded, but it was a taped phone call that they submitted to show that he was mentally...
01:00:17.000 That he was lucid?
01:00:18.000 That he was lucid, because they were trying to take his company from him.
01:00:21.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
01:00:22.000 So he submitted that?
01:00:24.000 What is it Ted Turner, the 73-year-old billionaire founder of CNN, has revealed that he has four girlfriends, each of which whom he spends one week with a month.
01:00:33.000 Wow.
01:00:33.000 I love the idea of having four girlfriends, but they've got you nailed down per week.
01:00:38.000 I love him.
01:00:39.000 I love him.
01:00:41.000 Jane Fonda is probably screaming when she's reading this.
01:00:44.000 Just looking at her screen.
01:00:48.000 Jesus is the way!
01:00:52.000 She went to Standing Rock, though.
01:00:53.000 Jane Fonda went to Standing Rock and fed the protesters.
01:00:56.000 They let her off the hook after that Hanoi Jane stuff?
01:00:58.000 I think she's finally gotten past that.
01:01:00.000 That poor girl.
01:01:01.000 Don't get in the tank.
01:01:02.000 Don't get in the tank.
01:01:03.000 When you're, like, how old was she at the time?
01:01:06.000 I have no idea.
01:01:06.000 20s?
01:01:07.000 Yeah.
01:01:07.000 I mean, when you're that young...
01:01:10.000 Hey, look, being in the tank wasn't right, but most people would agree she was probably right that Vietnam shouldn't have been happening.
01:01:16.000 We shouldn't have been bombing Vietnam.
01:01:17.000 100%.
01:01:17.000 100%, right?
01:01:19.000 It's just that message was so confusing to people because there was the first war that we shouldn't have done.
01:01:25.000 Like, all of a sudden, we're the bad guy.
01:01:28.000 Whereas when we were kids...
01:01:29.000 I don't know.
01:01:29.000 Native Americans might have some qualms with First War.
01:01:31.000 We shouldn't have done.
01:01:32.000 But you know what I mean.
01:01:33.000 It was the first one on TV. The Native America was more of a genocide than it was a war.
01:01:36.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:01:37.000 But I mean the battles.
01:01:38.000 But I mean like an army shipping off to do battle with an opposing army.
01:01:42.000 This is the first time like, whoa, we're wrong here.
01:01:45.000 And on TV, you're seeing the bodies.
01:01:47.000 Yeah.
01:01:49.000 Yeah, so there was a lot of people that were trying to protest it, and then when you're 20, or in your 20s, you're so clumsy as it is, it's so likely you're going to get the message out wrong.
01:02:01.000 Yeah.
01:02:02.000 And she...
01:02:03.000 That was the wrong way to do it.
01:02:05.000 She fucked up.
01:02:06.000 Yeah.
01:02:06.000 But Hanoi Jane, man, that's stuck with her forever, for decades.
01:02:11.000 Imagine if Twitter was around back then.
01:02:12.000 She...
01:02:13.000 Oh, God.
01:02:14.000 Oh, God.
01:02:15.000 Could you imagine?
01:02:16.000 Oh, my God.
01:02:19.000 You'd be tarred and feathered so quickly.
01:02:21.000 Yeah, like if she did a Reddit Ask Me Anything in the 70s.
01:02:28.000 I'm in a tank in Hanoi.
01:02:30.000 Ask me anything.
01:02:31.000 Oh my god.
01:02:32.000 Whoops.
01:02:32.000 Whoops.
01:02:33.000 What are your thoughts on, like, the public shaming and the mob just get out of hand sometimes?
01:02:38.000 Yeah, it's too fun for people.
01:02:40.000 That's the problem.
01:02:41.000 It becomes too fun.
01:02:42.000 It's too fun to attack.
01:02:44.000 And they love to see people that got you going fall.
01:02:47.000 100%.
01:02:47.000 Yeah, people love that.
01:02:49.000 It's unfortunate.
01:02:50.000 It's unfortunate because it's a new power that people have, and we're yielding it against each other.
01:02:55.000 Sometimes for the wrong reasons.
01:02:57.000 Sometimes for the right reasons.
01:02:58.000 I mean, I think certain people who've done terrible shit, I mean, I couldn't think of any offhand.
01:03:04.000 I could think of, like, a lot of those football players, like the one guy who knocked his girlfriend out in the elevator.
01:03:09.000 Like, that guy deserved all that shame.
01:03:12.000 You know, like, what the fuck, man?
01:03:13.000 You just, you punched her in the face.
01:03:15.000 Like, you can't restrain her.
01:03:16.000 She's trying to hit you.
01:03:17.000 So you left-hooked her?
01:03:18.000 Can you grab ahold of her, man?
01:03:20.000 You're a giant.
01:03:21.000 You're a big, giant super athlete.
01:03:22.000 And you KO'd your wife?
01:03:25.000 That's fucked up, right?
01:03:26.000 I think a lot of us have that, you know, sort of feeling.
01:03:29.000 And so when a guy like that gets all this blowback...
01:03:32.000 For something like that, you know, it's deserved.
01:03:36.000 Right.
01:03:36.000 But there's been some people that have been attacked for some shit that didn't make any sense.
01:03:40.000 Oh, absolutely.
01:03:40.000 Absolutely.
01:03:41.000 Some, yeah.
01:03:42.000 I mean, hell, there's that new documentary out on Amanda Knox.
01:03:46.000 What do you think about that, Keith?
01:03:47.000 Oh, she's totally innocent.
01:03:49.000 You think so?
01:03:49.000 If you watch the documentary, I didn't...
01:03:51.000 So here's the thing, I went in...
01:03:52.000 Well, just fill out the story for people, because there was a murder in Italy, right?
01:03:55.000 I went in with kind of a blank mind, because I didn't pay attention to almost any of it when it was happening.
01:04:00.000 She was a dumb, and I just mean young dumb, exchange student or whatever, and she's in Italy, and she's in a housing unit with a girl she's kind of friendly with.
01:04:14.000 She goes and stays at her boyfriend's place, comes back the next day.
01:04:17.000 The door's locked, and they can't get it open, but they see some blood on the carpet.
01:04:21.000 They call the cops.
01:04:22.000 They open the door.
01:04:23.000 The girl's dead.
01:04:24.000 There's blood everywhere.
01:04:25.000 She's been raped and stabbed and beaten.
01:04:28.000 And...
01:04:29.000 And then they found the guy that did it, but they were so keen on going after Amanda Knox, they were just like, it's gotta be her!
01:04:36.000 And then honestly, I think what indicted her is she seems to be a little off.
01:04:40.000 She seems to maybe have some Asperger's or something.
01:04:42.000 So she wasn't behaving emotionally like people are used to someone behaving.
01:04:47.000 And that's all it was.
01:04:49.000 She had...
01:04:50.000 For sure?
01:04:51.000 I think pretty for sure, yeah.
01:04:55.000 And so they convicted her, then they found her not guilty, and then they ultimately found her not guilty again.
01:05:01.000 And they tried to bring her back to the country, right?
01:05:05.000 They tried to bring her back for the Supreme Court trial, but they went along with it anyway.
01:05:09.000 She didn't come back, but she was found not guilty again, because the DNA evidence was bullshit.
01:05:13.000 It was so contaminated, it was...
01:05:15.000 Now, if someone does get pronounced not guilty and they've been put through that horror for all those years, do they get any compensation for that?
01:05:24.000 No.
01:05:24.000 Nothing you can do.
01:05:26.000 That's scary.
01:05:27.000 Occasionally when you've got a guy like in the US that's been in jail for 30 years, they'll give them like a million dollars or something, but it doesn't bring their life back.
01:05:34.000 That's scary.
01:05:36.000 That's crazy.
01:05:37.000 Yeah.
01:05:38.000 I mean, her life and her boyfriend's life were just destroyed.
01:05:42.000 Do you remember that fucking guy who got accused of being the Olympic Village bomber?
01:05:49.000 And he was a security guard.
01:05:51.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:05:51.000 And they smeared his name.
01:05:52.000 What was his name?
01:05:53.000 Richard something?
01:05:54.000 Richard Jewell.
01:05:55.000 They're making a movie about him, I'm pretty sure.
01:05:56.000 Yeah.
01:05:56.000 Dude, they put that guy on TV. They said he was the bomber.
01:06:00.000 Yep.
01:06:01.000 And he was just a regular old security guard.
01:06:03.000 Didn't do anything wrong.
01:06:04.000 I was a kid at that Olympics, and we were deciding whether to go to the next day after the bombing.
01:06:09.000 So a bomb blew up.
01:06:10.000 Did it kill anybody?
01:06:12.000 Killed one person, maybe?
01:06:13.000 Yeah, and one bloody died of a heart attack, I believe.
01:06:14.000 I was there that night.
01:06:15.000 Whoa!
01:06:16.000 I wasn't there when a bomb went off, but I was going to be...
01:06:18.000 Like, we were going to go to a basketball game.
01:06:19.000 There was, like, the U.S. Dream Team was playing.
01:06:21.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:06:22.000 We went to...
01:06:23.000 Someone scalper wouldn't let us buy tickets, so we left.
01:06:25.000 But on our way home, that happened.
01:06:27.000 Like, we were on the subway going out to the suburb.
01:06:29.000 My mom was calling everyone around us thinking, like, we got caught in it.
01:06:33.000 I had, like, video of the park and whoever was on stage that day.
01:06:37.000 But we missed...
01:06:38.000 I'm not, like, really cool because I wasn't in the bomb, but, like...
01:06:42.000 You know, Callan was in New York City at Gotham Comedy Club when the most recent bomb went off.
01:06:48.000 He was six blocks away from me.
01:06:50.000 He heard the bomb go off.
01:06:51.000 What was that bomb?
01:06:52.000 Pressure cooker bomb.
01:06:53.000 It hurt a lot of people.
01:06:55.000 It didn't kill anybody, but it hurt a lot of people.
01:06:57.000 It was under one of those remote-controlled pressure cooker jammies where they set it and just walked away from it.
01:07:04.000 Jesus.
01:07:06.000 God, the fact that someone could just do that and just indiscriminately blow up a bunch of people and blow shrapnel into their body.
01:07:17.000 But that guy got accused, that Jewel, Richard Jewel guy, that guy got accused publicly.
01:07:21.000 The news ran with it.
01:07:22.000 They didn't have any evidence.
01:07:24.000 It was all wrong.
01:07:25.000 He didn't do anything.
01:07:26.000 And everybody was like, oh, they found him.
01:07:30.000 They found him.
01:07:31.000 They put his picture on the fucking newspaper cover.
01:07:36.000 Oh!
01:07:36.000 That guy after the Boston bomb, another pressure cooker, after the Boston bombing, they put those guys on the front of the New York Post or whatever it was.
01:07:42.000 Rolling Stone, remember?
01:07:43.000 And it wasn't, well, no, no, that was the real guy.
01:07:46.000 Oh, the other guys.
01:07:46.000 These were the innocent guys.
01:07:47.000 Oh, that's right.
01:07:48.000 They just put them on, they were like, FBI's looking for this guy.
01:07:51.000 And it was like his life was torn apart and he's like on Facebook like, I didn't bomb anyone.
01:07:57.000 See if you can find that photo, Jamie.
01:07:59.000 I forgot about that until you just brought that up.
01:08:01.000 That was like within the first day of it, right?
01:08:03.000 In one day, his life was destroyed because walking down the street, people think they're looking at the Boston bomber.
01:08:09.000 That's so ridiculous.
01:08:11.000 That's so ridiculous.
01:08:13.000 Dude, and that's the fucking run-in with information we don't have yet.
01:08:18.000 Well, that's why people that have that sort of responsibility, like you're the media, the official stamped media, that's why, you know, Rolling Stone took so much heat when they had that cute bomber on the cover, that handsome fella.
01:08:32.000 Handsome bomber.
01:08:33.000 It's like, that guy could have got so much tail.
01:08:36.000 Why is he on the cover?
01:08:37.000 Fucking cover Rolling Stone for being a bomber.
01:08:40.000 He should be out there getting chicks.
01:08:41.000 It does seem like if these guys got laid a little more, they wouldn't have done this shit.
01:08:44.000 Yeah, bag men.
01:08:46.000 Fed seek these two pictured at Boston Marathon.
01:08:48.000 Meanwhile, they're just fucking dudes.
01:08:50.000 And that guy in blue, like, the next day he's walking down the street being called a bomber.
01:08:54.000 Ugh.
01:08:55.000 God damn it.
01:08:56.000 Yeah, those big mistakes.
01:08:59.000 There it is.
01:09:00.000 Dewey beats Truman.
01:09:01.000 They get that guy in the Dallas shooting, too, that was walking around with a gun that they thought that was him because people saw a picture of him with a gun walking around the street, but he had actually turned in the gun to a police officer.
01:09:11.000 Remember that?
01:09:12.000 You know what I'm talking about?
01:09:13.000 I do remember that, but vaguely.
01:09:15.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:09:16.000 In Dallas, yeah, yeah.
01:09:18.000 Do you think...
01:09:19.000 Go ahead.
01:09:19.000 I'm sorry, please go ahead.
01:09:20.000 Well, no, I was going to say, you know what I wish people were still talking about with the Boston bombing is there was a third guy who wasn't there.
01:09:25.000 They said he was friends with the bombers, so they wanted to interview him.
01:09:28.000 The FBI goes down to, what, Florida, Georgia, somewhere, interviews him four times, the fourth time, and they admit he was unarmed.
01:09:35.000 They shoot him seven times once in the back of the head.
01:09:37.000 Yeah.
01:09:38.000 Ibrahim Tadasev just executed the guy.
01:09:41.000 Yeah.
01:09:41.000 The FBI did.
01:09:42.000 And then they came out and said, oh, he had a gun.
01:09:44.000 Oh, he had a knife.
01:09:45.000 Oh, never mind.
01:09:46.000 He had a stick.
01:09:47.000 Oh, well, he didn't have any weapons, but we feared for our lives.
01:09:50.000 And it's like, your fourth interview with the guy, you just executed him.
01:09:54.000 It's like crazy.
01:09:58.000 But, what better way to get the cute boy on the Rolling Stone cover to talk than to pump seven bullets into your friend.
01:10:06.000 Into his friend.
01:10:07.000 I mean, that's how you get the dude to talk.
01:10:09.000 That's how you sell them.
01:10:10.000 That's how you know.
01:10:10.000 Hey, here's a picture of your friend.
01:10:12.000 Yeah.
01:10:12.000 Yeah, I just shot him in the fucking head.
01:10:13.000 I'm going to shoot you too.
01:10:15.000 Tell me who told you to do this.
01:10:17.000 Who taught you how to do this, fuckface.
01:10:19.000 Here's a video on my phone, just so you know that I really shot your friend.
01:10:22.000 But that's our media.
01:10:24.000 How is that not a story?
01:10:26.000 Basically never mentioned in the media.
01:10:28.000 Like really briefly mentioned.
01:10:30.000 So briefly that I forgot about it until you just brought it up.
01:10:32.000 I had totally forgotten about that.
01:10:34.000 I'm like, oh yeah, they jacked that guy.
01:10:36.000 But we were like, fuck him.
01:10:38.000 Guy's a bad guy.
01:10:39.000 Because he was friends with bombers.
01:10:42.000 Fucked up.
01:10:43.000 Guy fucked up.
01:10:44.000 Shouldn't have been hanging around with the bomber guy.
01:10:44.000 Should have thought about who his father was.
01:10:46.000 Shit thought about those friends were, too.
01:10:49.000 Goddamn.
01:10:51.000 People that have that kind of power, like, that's an enormous responsibility.
01:10:56.000 You have a gun.
01:10:57.000 Part of your job is to shoot people when they fuck up.
01:11:00.000 Like, whoa.
01:11:01.000 And you're at the highest level, right?
01:11:03.000 You're the FBI. You're there to protect national security.
01:11:05.000 Federal Bureau of Information.
01:11:08.000 I feel like they're not taught how to de-escalate shit.
01:11:11.000 They're only taught how to escalate.
01:11:12.000 Oh, I'm sure they're taught how to de-escalate.
01:11:14.000 I'm absolutely sure they are.
01:11:15.000 Okay, they don't stick with that training.
01:11:16.000 Let's just say that.
01:11:17.000 Well, they're people, man.
01:11:18.000 There's a real problem with giving people power.
01:11:21.000 Giving anyone power over other people, that's a very intoxicating position.
01:11:27.000 Especially the kind of life or death power someone with a gun has, and people don't want to listen to you.
01:11:34.000 And the other thing is, like, how many people could handle that kind of pressure day in, day out for 10 years?
01:11:41.000 Or 20 years?
01:11:42.000 I totally agree.
01:11:43.000 Those guys are under a shitload of pressure, but that still means we're doing something wrong if they're executing people.
01:11:48.000 Oh, look, it's 100% wrong.
01:11:49.000 It's a hundred percent wrong, but the whole stew is wrong from everything we discussed from people anybody being able to have a person which I don't have any solution for I'm not a eugenics guy I'm not saying I'm not offering up any sort of crazy solution All I'm saying is we all agree that part of the problem is people get raised by horrible awful people who abuse them and beat them and rape them and They're subjected to all sorts of horrible shit as they're growing up and they develop all fucked up we we all know people like that they're just all fucked up and And those people are just cast out
01:12:19.000 into the world.
01:12:20.000 And this is what our world is made of.
01:12:22.000 Our world is made out of people.
01:12:23.000 I mean, our civilization, at least.
01:12:25.000 Well, this is why I think, and maybe people will get behind me on this, so the numbers are, it's rough, but they think in the sociopath test, about one out of every hundred people is a sociopath.
01:12:38.000 And those people usually do really well in business.
01:12:41.000 They get to the top of corporations.
01:12:43.000 They become president of the United States.
01:12:45.000 And it's like, we should have a sociopath test for high-ranking officials.
01:12:49.000 You'd have to completely define it as someone who really doesn't have feelings for other people, right?
01:12:54.000 You'd have to be able to really nail that down.
01:12:57.000 But feelings are so...
01:12:58.000 Emotions and emotional connections and empathy, it's such a poorly defined thing.
01:13:04.000 Because someone who watches a lot of movies and reads a lot of books, you can say the right words if you're manipulative.
01:13:09.000 Without actually feeling it, you can say all the right words.
01:13:13.000 It happens to people all the time in relationships.
01:13:16.000 Like, you know, a girl meet a guy, he's charming, and he tells her he loves her.
01:13:19.000 I mean, he really just is like he's doing stuff that he saw in a movie.
01:13:22.000 And then, you know, maybe four or five months in, she realized, oh my god, he's a total psychopath.
01:13:27.000 And, like, he's just saying things.
01:13:30.000 He just knew how to feel anything.
01:13:31.000 He just knew how to say the right things, wear the right cologne, whatever it was.
01:13:35.000 Say the right things at the right time, because he's had a lot of practice.
01:13:38.000 And if you get the end of it and there's a person who's like literally barely a person like some sort of a robot Reciting things, you know, I mean that was did you ever read?
01:13:49.000 Was the Brett Easton Ellis book that they turned into a movie Bradley Cooper what American Psycho?
01:13:55.000 Yeah, right American Psycho, but that's Christian Bale.
01:13:58.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah Brett Easton Ellis's book.
01:14:00.000 Yeah The book is terrifying.
01:14:03.000 It's way more terrifying than the movie.
01:14:04.000 I didn't read the book.
01:14:05.000 The book is awful.
01:14:07.000 I remember people, not awful like a bad book.
01:14:09.000 It's really well written, but it's awful like holy shit.
01:14:12.000 And by the way, how much do the Trump kids look like American Psycho?
01:14:15.000 It's like they're trying.
01:14:17.000 Well, how do you look if your dad's a billionaire?
01:14:19.000 You probably can't look any other way.
01:14:21.000 You have two options.
01:14:22.000 You go all in with pops, and you join the family business, or you become like that surfer dude who like, man, well, he really got into drugs, and we brought him into counseling, but that didn't help.
01:14:33.000 Fell far from the tree, yeah.
01:14:35.000 You could be like in the Malibu rehab permanently with flip-flops on, your feet up, and they keep you sober, but you just like to surf.
01:14:45.000 Your dad just pays for your treatment.
01:14:47.000 I mean, they have a special kind of hair gel for kids of billionaires.
01:14:51.000 I don't know how they slick it back like that.
01:14:52.000 Well, it's liberal tears.
01:14:54.000 They scoop them out of buckets.
01:14:57.000 Hillary Clinton rallies.
01:14:59.000 They just kick liberals in the balls, collect the tears.
01:15:03.000 They just went around that night.
01:15:05.000 All the people were crying when Hillary lost.
01:15:07.000 They just gathered them up, gathered up those tears, and they just slick their hair back.
01:15:13.000 Yeah, I think that's it.
01:15:16.000 It's going to be interesting.
01:15:17.000 It's going to be interesting.
01:15:19.000 We're going to find out how much power the president actually has too.
01:15:23.000 Because this Trump election let us know, hey, the system actually does work.
01:15:28.000 Someone can come in that's not being represented by their party.
01:15:32.000 The party didn't even want them in.
01:15:33.000 Someone can come in and still win.
01:15:36.000 But, at least so far, Bernie Sanders got closed.
01:15:38.000 But, right now, only if you have a billion dollars.
01:15:41.000 Right.
01:15:41.000 But I think that's gonna change.
01:15:44.000 First of all, no one like Bernie ever existed before Bernie, right?
01:15:48.000 Agreed.
01:15:48.000 So all of a sudden Bernie comes in.
01:15:49.000 Now, here's the thing.
01:15:51.000 If Trump's policies start working out, that's when everyone's fucked.
01:15:55.000 If all of a sudden we can realize, oh, here were the log jams, he's right.
01:16:00.000 Like, holy shit, we're prospering again?
01:16:03.000 Holy shit, look all this good stuff that's happening?
01:16:05.000 Even if he just does massive infrastructure projects that put people to work so that he can have his name Trump across the Trump bullet train, the Trump this, the Trump that, even if he just does that, that could make people pretty happy.
01:16:16.000 It could make people very happy.
01:16:18.000 It's interesting.
01:16:19.000 It's interesting because he's this total outsider who has paid off the insiders for a long time.
01:16:25.000 And now he's in.
01:16:27.000 Here's the scary thing in a way.
01:16:30.000 If he follows through with just bringing us back from bombing every country, it's like that alone could be a big step.
01:16:38.000 And it's like, oh, we needed a fucking crazy motherfucker to do that, to finally say, why are we in all these other countries?
01:16:45.000 Yeah.
01:16:46.000 And he stopped, I'll say this for him, he was already basic, well, okay, protesters and him stopped the TPP, the Trans-Pacific Partnership, the fucking largest corporate coup that's ever been devised, and basically, you know, he said he wasn't going to sign it.
01:16:59.000 Now, here's the thing, he's not, he's going to create a new trade deal, so it's going to be awful.
01:17:03.000 He's going to put that forward, so it's not like he's done creating havoc in that way, but the fact that the TPP is over is a huge step.
01:17:10.000 It is.
01:17:11.000 It's an interesting step.
01:17:12.000 And what I was saying earlier that one of the things that a lot of people said that I agree with is that I think him being a populist and him being really interested in public's opinion and what people think about him is actually a good thing.
01:17:25.000 Because when certain things he says, like off the cuff, he says shit off the cuff, and then he finds out that it's really a stupid thing to say, he amends what he says.
01:17:36.000 And I think that's kind of interesting, because if he starts to talk about some specific set of regulations or rules, and then the public starts freaking out about it, it's very likely he might reconsider if it makes sense.
01:17:48.000 Well, this is how he's kind of like a stand-up comic.
01:17:50.000 As he was going from speech to speech, basically he would weed out the stuff that wasn't getting a huge reaction, keep the stuff that got a big reaction, and it was just the greatest hits.
01:17:59.000 He was just playing the hits.
01:18:00.000 He had a strong set.
01:18:02.000 But dude, by the end of the election, after all the grab the pussy stuff and after the last debate, he was doing a run of these speeches.
01:18:09.000 And I tuned into one of them, and I was like, the guy sounds pretty reasonable right now.
01:18:13.000 Right now, in this moment, if you could take this snippet instead of the other snippets, when he's going, the wall just got 10 feet higher!
01:18:20.000 That's what I said.
01:18:21.000 Instead of that, take this snippet, and you go, well, this guy's very reasonable.
01:18:25.000 He's talking about corruption.
01:18:26.000 He's talking about the deep-seated red tape that's almost impossible to remove because it's an ecosystem.
01:18:32.000 And all these people, they've been feeding off of each other, and the bureaucracy roots run deep, and you just got to pull it out.
01:18:38.000 You got to drain the swamp.
01:18:39.000 I totally agree with all that.
01:18:40.000 The problem is now you look at his cabinet, he's grabbing the same swamp things.
01:18:44.000 He's grabbing all these billionaires.
01:18:45.000 Well, billionaires, but he's putting the swamp things back.
01:18:48.000 He's talking about Petraeus and all these assholes.
01:18:53.000 I don't know who he ended up going with for Treasury Secretary, but he was talking about Jamie Dimon for a while, the fucking head of Citibank, I mean, sorry, JPMorgan Chase, that was behind the...
01:19:05.000 The collapse behind what created Occupy.
01:19:08.000 He's putting the swamp things back in the swamp.
01:19:10.000 He's drained it, and now he's putting them back.
01:19:12.000 What was he trying to put Petraeus in for?
01:19:14.000 Um, had a defense, right?
01:19:16.000 That's an interesting choice.
01:19:18.000 I don't know.
01:19:18.000 You might want to verify that.
01:19:19.000 The Petraeus thing is fascinating because Petraeus didn't do anything that was really that awful.
01:19:24.000 He had an affair.
01:19:26.000 Well, he leaked information.
01:19:28.000 Right, but what did he do?
01:19:29.000 He leaked information to his girlfriend that he was dating, right?
01:19:32.000 And then she wrote a book with it.
01:19:33.000 How heavy was it?
01:19:34.000 Like, what was the information?
01:19:35.000 I don't know what the information was.
01:19:36.000 Was it top secret?
01:19:36.000 I don't know.
01:19:37.000 Uh, Secretary of State, David Petraeus.
01:19:39.000 Supporters make their cause.
01:19:40.000 He was looking for.
01:19:41.000 Yeah, he's an interesting case because he's a case of the FBI and the CIA don't like each other that much.
01:19:49.000 And that's where this came from.
01:19:50.000 This is what's so fascinating about it.
01:19:52.000 Petraeus was running the CIA. The FBI does an investigation on the CIA because Petraeus is banging this chick and she's crazy and she likes to send crazy emails to people.
01:20:02.000 He was banging some nutty broad.
01:20:05.000 And so that's what sunk him.
01:20:07.000 This crazy lady was making some noise threatening people.
01:20:10.000 She was threatening certain people.
01:20:11.000 And then they went, oh, what's going on here?
01:20:14.000 And it turns out they're kind of swinger type characters or something.
01:20:17.000 Petraeus was hitting it.
01:20:18.000 Holla!
01:20:19.000 And next thing you know...
01:20:22.000 And then Petraeus had an affair with this other woman who was writing an autobiography.
01:20:26.000 That's what it was.
01:20:27.000 Now I'm remembering.
01:20:28.000 And the autobiography woman and the other lady got into it.
01:20:32.000 No, I didn't follow any of this.
01:20:33.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:20:34.000 And so the CIA was like, uh, what?
01:20:37.000 And then the FBI was like, what the fuck's going on over here?
01:20:39.000 And then that's how we wound up getting in trouble.
01:20:42.000 That's where it all went down.
01:20:44.000 That's why you got stripped.
01:20:45.000 I covered him when he...
01:20:48.000 So he got into fracking.
01:20:49.000 He was the front of a corporation that was pushing fracking around the U.S. Post his removal from the Army?
01:20:55.000 Yeah, after that.
01:20:56.000 And he had a year or two doing this.
01:20:58.000 And so they fly him out to North Dakota where all the fracking's going on.
01:21:03.000 And he's introduced by one of the higher-ups in North Dakota government.
01:21:07.000 I can't remember what her job was, but, you know, lieutenant governor or something.
01:21:12.000 And she introduces him, and she's clearly not very bright, and she introduces him.
01:21:15.000 She goes, it's such a privilege to have David Petraeus here.
01:21:18.000 He's here talking about fracking so that we never have to go overseas to get the oil we need like we did in Iraq.
01:21:26.000 And it was like, you're not supposed to admit that we went to get the oil.
01:21:29.000 That's part of the secret, right?
01:21:32.000 And he goes up and he's just like, thank you for that lovely introduction.
01:21:34.000 And I'm like, she just said you went to war for oil.
01:21:38.000 That is not supposed to be what you're admitting.
01:21:41.000 You're supposed to say, hey, we went to war for freedom, right?
01:21:44.000 We're giving Iraqis freedom.
01:21:46.000 Ugh.
01:21:46.000 Wow.
01:21:47.000 Whoops.
01:21:48.000 But he's not responsible for her.
01:21:49.000 He's probably just being polite.
01:21:50.000 Yeah.
01:21:50.000 He didn't want to have to correct her.
01:21:51.000 Ma'am, we actually went to war for freedom.
01:21:53.000 For freedom.
01:21:54.000 Yes.
01:21:55.000 This is incorrect.
01:21:58.000 I can't continue.
01:21:59.000 Yeah, he was teaching at City College.
01:22:02.000 Yep.
01:22:03.000 And did you ever see those protests where he'd walk to his car and they'd be screaming, war criminal, war criminal.
01:22:09.000 It's great.
01:22:10.000 War criminals.
01:22:11.000 I think that these guys need to face that shit.
01:22:13.000 They should see people in their driveways yelling at them.
01:22:17.000 Yeah, it's real interesting that you could get taken down like him just because you were having an affair.
01:22:26.000 They got him out because of that, because of adultery, and because of the top secret clearance stuff, right?
01:22:33.000 Well, I think the adultery thing just made him look bad, but it was really the leaking information.
01:22:39.000 The leaking to his girlfriend who was writing books, right?
01:22:41.000 Yeah.
01:22:42.000 That's crazy.
01:22:43.000 Isn't it funny that the most powerful military people are still just vulnerable to the dick?
01:22:49.000 Well, yeah, but here's the thing.
01:22:50.000 He could have been...
01:22:51.000 The dick pillow talk, yeah.
01:22:53.000 He could have been having affairs all over the place.
01:22:56.000 No one would have tried to stop him because he's top of the military.
01:22:59.000 But once you start leaking the information, then things change.
01:23:02.000 Hey, what was your opinion of that journalist that wound up allegedly committing suicide by driving his car head-on into a tree?
01:23:11.000 Remember Michael...
01:23:13.000 Yeah, Hastings.
01:23:14.000 Hastings.
01:23:14.000 Hastings, yeah.
01:23:15.000 What did you think about that?
01:23:16.000 I think that there's a lot of evidence that he was probably taken out.
01:23:23.000 Dun, dun, dun!
01:23:27.000 Lee Camp's got the right idea.
01:23:28.000 They've been doing this since the 1960s.
01:23:31.000 You really think Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone?
01:23:36.000 Sorry for that, folks.
01:23:37.000 And here's the thing.
01:23:39.000 So we know he emailed, and by the way, it's fucking sad and horrific.
01:23:43.000 Whether he was taken out or not taken out, it's fucking horrific.
01:23:46.000 Because he was such an amazing reporter, an amazing dude.
01:23:48.000 Let's talk about what he did.
01:23:49.000 Because he wrote the story for Rolling Stones.
01:23:51.000 For Rolling Stone about Petraeus and about some of those guys.
01:23:54.000 It was actually another general, too.
01:23:56.000 And there was something that the general had said, like in some way mocking the president, and he printed that.
01:24:05.000 Yeah.
01:24:06.000 And it set off this whole chain of events, and that guy wound up stepping down.
01:24:09.000 And people were furious at him for making this guy step down when he was embedded.
01:24:15.000 He was embedded for an extended period of time.
01:24:17.000 Right.
01:24:17.000 Because he was only supposed to be there for a short amount of time, and then he stayed for a longer time because, like, something had happened, they couldn't get him out of there.
01:24:23.000 But he did the right thing, which is you're not supposed to become best buddies with these guys.
01:24:27.000 You're supposed to keep being a legitimate reporter, and most people embedded don't.
01:24:31.000 They become friends with him and...
01:24:33.000 But here's the thing a lot of people don't know is he sent an email to BuzzFeed, that's where he was working at the time, right?
01:24:39.000 Saying, hey, I'm on to something big.
01:24:41.000 You might not hear from me for a while.
01:24:43.000 If the FBI shows up to the offices, tell them you need a lawyer and don't talk to them.
01:24:49.000 Whoa.
01:24:50.000 So that email goes out like, it's like 24 hours or something before his car explodes in a fiery mess here in LA. And it seems like there definitely could have been hacking of the, you know, he was going 100 miles an hour.
01:25:04.000 Now, I've also, you know, heard some people saying he was into some wild stuff and wild driving, but I don't know.
01:25:10.000 Well, they definitely found meth in his system, allegedly according to the coroner, who was absolutely not paid off.
01:25:16.000 Yes, but if you read the full coroner's report, it says not at a level that would have impaired driving.
01:25:22.000 It's like a trace of some stuff.
01:25:24.000 Of meth.
01:25:25.000 Yeah, but what I was going to say was that I think, correct me if I'm wrong, I think if you take Adderall, and you take a lot of Adderall in particular, I think that has almost the exact same chemicals as meth, right?
01:25:39.000 Wouldn't you test positive for meth if you were taking a lot of Adderall?
01:25:42.000 That's a good question.
01:25:43.000 I have no idea.
01:25:44.000 Please look that up, Jamie.
01:25:46.000 What do you think?
01:25:46.000 Let's just guess.
01:25:47.000 Let's play a game.
01:25:48.000 Let's guess.
01:25:49.000 Do you think you test positive for meth if you're taking Adderall?
01:25:51.000 I think that you could test positive for meth if there's probably certain other chemicals in your system unrelated to meth, probably.
01:25:57.000 Whoa.
01:25:57.000 The urinalysis test for any and all amphetamines and methamphetamine is just one derivative.
01:26:03.000 Similarly, Adderall is a combination drug comprised of two amphetamine salts.
01:26:10.000 Dextroamphetamine and levoamphetamine.
01:26:13.000 Any of the three will show positive for amphetamines in a urine drug test.
01:26:18.000 Well done.
01:26:19.000 Well done.
01:26:20.000 Wow.
01:26:21.000 Joe Rogan, everybody.
01:26:22.000 Adderall's meth.
01:26:23.000 So he could have been just taking Adderall, which is super common amongst writers.
01:26:27.000 When you have a deadline, you have to bang out something, you're exhausted.
01:26:29.000 I mean, it is almost mandatory amongst a lot of writers.
01:26:32.000 Yeah.
01:26:33.000 Yeah, but so, I mean, and even so, it's like trace amounts, wouldn't have impaired driving, and he's going 100 miles an hour, and these cars are, the car he was in had a hackable computer.
01:26:43.000 Oh, yeah.
01:26:44.000 Well, they can do it now, for sure.
01:26:45.000 They can do it.
01:26:46.000 I mean, that's what we were talking about previously, all these autonomous cars.
01:26:49.000 There's a lot of cars now, like the Tesla, where you can get on the road, and you could press a button and take your fucking hands off the wheel, and the navigation system drives the car, 100%.
01:26:58.000 My buddy texted me from his fucking car.
01:27:01.000 He's like sitting there texting me while he's driving.
01:27:03.000 Wow.
01:27:03.000 So this is a car right now today that can do that.
01:27:06.000 So if the car can do that...
01:27:08.000 So there's no requirement that you keep looking at the road?
01:27:10.000 Well, you're supposed to actually have your hands on the wheel, but you don't have to.
01:27:14.000 The BMW 7 Series apparently has a very similar technology, but you have to hold on to the wheel.
01:27:20.000 It'll do all the driving.
01:27:21.000 It'll do all the braking, do all the acceleration, but it wants your hands on the wheel just in case some shit goes down.
01:27:26.000 Yeah.
01:27:26.000 Like, please pay attention as much as possible.
01:27:28.000 We're going to make it as safe as possible.
01:27:29.000 We're going to do all the work.
01:27:30.000 But, right here, ten and two.
01:27:32.000 Ten and two, buddy.
01:27:32.000 I wonder who...
01:27:33.000 Does the human or the computer win if, like, you were accelerating into a tree?
01:27:38.000 Would the computer stop the car?
01:27:40.000 Or would it just be like, oh...
01:27:41.000 It's a very good question.
01:27:42.000 I don't know.
01:27:43.000 It's a very good question.
01:27:44.000 Humans got it covered.
01:27:45.000 Yeah, that's a very good question.
01:27:46.000 Yeah, this guy's trying to commit homicide.
01:27:49.000 They're asking the question, well, what happened if there's like people crossing the street?
01:27:52.000 Would the car hit the people or save the people in the car?
01:27:54.000 Which is almost a better question.
01:27:56.000 That's a very good question, too.
01:27:57.000 Moral judgment calls.
01:27:58.000 Like, what do you do if an animal runs in front of your car?
01:28:00.000 What does the car do?
01:28:01.000 Does the car swirls?
01:28:02.000 Look, there's trees to the right, trees to the left, and an animal runs in front of the car.
01:28:06.000 What do you do?
01:28:07.000 Well, and if it slams on the brakes, the guy behind you could plow into you.
01:28:10.000 Right.
01:28:10.000 Maybe there's like a size limit.
01:28:13.000 Like, if it's a rat, you just kill it.
01:28:16.000 But if it's a dog, you slam on the brakes.
01:28:18.000 I don't want anybody to lose their dog.
01:28:19.000 Maybe it's a cuteness test for the animal.
01:28:22.000 Yeah, like if it's a rat, you kill it, but if it's a squirrel, you try to swerve.
01:28:25.000 You get really sad if you hit a bunny.
01:28:28.000 Right?
01:28:29.000 If it's a deer, fuck it.
01:28:30.000 But if it's a bunny...
01:28:32.000 Have you seen that one where a guy hits a bear?
01:28:33.000 He's going like 60 miles an hour?
01:28:35.000 No.
01:28:35.000 Jesus.
01:28:35.000 Have you seen that one?
01:28:36.000 The really recent one?
01:28:38.000 This guy is driving and he's talking...
01:28:40.000 I think he's talking about getting baked too, which is really funny.
01:28:43.000 And this fucking bear just jumps out of nowhere.
01:28:46.000 I really think he was talking about getting high while it happened.
01:28:51.000 So this guy's driving.
01:28:52.000 He's accelerating, and as he's driving down the road, this bear just jumps in front of his car.
01:28:57.000 He slams into the bear, and the bear literally goes launching through the air.
01:29:02.000 And then the bear gets up and runs off into the woods.
01:29:04.000 The bear was fine.
01:29:05.000 Dude, probably not.
01:29:07.000 He probably had massive internal injuries.
01:29:09.000 Watch this.
01:29:09.000 Here it goes.
01:29:10.000 Hold on.
01:29:13.000 Give me the full volume.
01:29:14.000 Do it from the beginning.
01:29:16.000 Oh, Jesus.
01:29:17.000 Listen.
01:29:17.000 Yes.
01:29:18.000 I'm gonna go home and smoke a fucking huge fucking- OH MY GOD! So he was talking about getting baked.
01:29:27.000 And he just slammed into this bear.
01:29:30.000 Dude, the bear is fine!
01:29:31.000 No, no, no, that bear's dead.
01:29:33.000 The bear ran off!
01:29:34.000 No, it hobbled off, but it's gonna die.
01:29:37.000 I'm pretty sure it's gonna die.
01:29:38.000 The impact, like, let's watch it one more time, because I enjoy these things.
01:29:42.000 One more time, watch this.
01:29:43.000 More volume, please.
01:29:49.000 Dude, that is not a fine animal.
01:29:51.000 There's no way that animal's fine.
01:29:53.000 Bears are pretty tough.
01:29:54.000 No, man.
01:29:55.000 Bears are pretty tough.
01:29:55.000 I would imagine that thing's dead.
01:29:57.000 I would imagine you're dealing with massive internal hemorrhages.
01:30:00.000 He just slammed into that thing and went flying.
01:30:03.000 I mean, how many feet do you think it went?
01:30:04.000 Let's see the impact one more time, please.
01:30:06.000 Dude, it just rolls.
01:30:08.000 One more time.
01:30:08.000 Listen to this.
01:30:09.000 Oh, my God!
01:30:11.000 It's amazing that it can walk after that.
01:30:13.000 Look.
01:30:13.000 It hits the ground.
01:30:15.000 It gets up and starts hobbling off into the woods.
01:30:18.000 Oh, my God.
01:30:18.000 You're gonna make this your ringtone, aren't you?
01:30:20.000 No.
01:30:21.000 I'm Let's Go Champ.
01:30:22.000 Let's Go Champ's my ringtone.
01:30:24.000 Man, that's crazy.
01:30:26.000 I'm gonna go home and smoke, and oh my god!
01:30:30.000 But that is obviously an animal that your car would stop for.
01:30:34.000 It's a big-ass animal.
01:30:36.000 And does it, so the car just assumes there's not a Mack truck behind you that's just gonna drive over you?
01:30:41.000 It's a very good question.
01:30:42.000 It's a very good question.
01:30:43.000 Yeah, I mean, it doesn't make judgment calls.
01:30:45.000 And you can make the wrong one, and maybe its calculations will be more accurate than yours.
01:30:50.000 But maybe it'll just be going slower in the first place, so that won't be as much of an issue.
01:30:54.000 Dude, if these cars are going the speed limit, I'm gonna lose my shit.
01:30:57.000 If that guy was driving down the road and he was going 10 miles an hour slower, he might have been able to slam on the brakes and avoid that bear.
01:31:05.000 I saw this video yesterday, but I thought it was going around because it was new, but this Tesla slams into the back of this van because it doesn't seat at the last second because that car Oh, no.
01:31:16.000 And I guess there's some verbiage in that autonomous driving that it may not see parked vehicles on highways or something like that right now.
01:31:23.000 Oh, my God.
01:31:23.000 So if you're going 60 miles an hour...
01:31:26.000 So the computers were watching the moving car and ignored the stopped car.
01:31:30.000 They didn't have time to see it or recognize it.
01:31:32.000 So there's a bunch of them.
01:31:33.000 But you know what?
01:31:34.000 That's to be expected with some new technology.
01:31:35.000 There's no way it's going to come out of the bat.
01:31:38.000 And it's going to be out of the bat.
01:31:40.000 Off the bat.
01:31:41.000 You know what I'm concerned with?
01:31:43.000 This goddamn Hyperloop.
01:31:44.000 I got questions, Elon Musk.
01:31:46.000 I know nothing about the Hyperloop.
01:31:47.000 He's putting a goddamn...
01:31:49.000 It goes as fast as a jet, but it's on the ground.
01:31:52.000 He's putting a goddamn ground jet in place.
01:31:54.000 Ground jet!
01:31:55.000 It's a ground jet.
01:31:56.000 It's a ground jet that he's putting in!
01:31:58.000 It's a goddamn ground jet.
01:31:59.000 Putting it in our sacred land.
01:32:03.000 Why is there not a bullet train across the U.S., though?
01:32:05.000 Explain that to me.
01:32:06.000 Because people can just decide that Jesus wants them to jump in front of the bullet train.
01:32:10.000 If you were at a plane, how much more dangerous would air flight be if any asshole at any point in time could instantly put a telephone pole up right in front of the plane?
01:32:22.000 Or a bear.
01:32:24.000 Or a bear.
01:32:27.000 Plane travel would be so much more fucking dangerous, right?
01:32:30.000 If anybody could just randomly decide...
01:32:32.000 I mean, most people wouldn't, but if they decided to...
01:32:34.000 That's why trains have the cow catchers.
01:32:36.000 They knock the cows out of the way.
01:32:38.000 Yeah, but does that always work?
01:32:40.000 I mean, there's a lot of shit you could put on the track that the train couldn't just knock out of the way.
01:32:44.000 He could move some boulders in place.
01:32:46.000 He could put some explosives in place.
01:32:48.000 Move some boulders?
01:32:49.000 Move some boulders.
01:32:50.000 What the fuck?
01:32:51.000 I seen a guy.
01:32:52.000 He just puts dynamite in the hill and he times it right.
01:32:56.000 I mean, they fucking for sure could stick something in front of that train that sucks if you hit it.
01:33:00.000 You know?
01:33:00.000 Some sort of a bomb type situation.
01:33:02.000 I mean, it's essentially...
01:33:03.000 What are you gonna do?
01:33:04.000 You gotta have TSA agents every 50 feet across the United States?
01:33:07.000 Dude, Amtrak goes along, nobody's trying to stop them.
01:33:10.000 Rosary in their hand, glassy-eyed, zombie look, leaps off the top, boom!
01:33:15.000 Hits the window.
01:33:17.000 You can get them on all sides.
01:33:18.000 They can just jump in.
01:33:19.000 Still, it's worth it, so it works for a month, and then you plaster a couple guys, and then it works for another month.
01:33:25.000 Or you put it all underground, and it starts earthquakes quicker than fracking.
01:33:29.000 That's the other thing.
01:33:30.000 They were going to do one up to San Francisco.
01:33:32.000 How about that?
01:33:32.000 Going 700 miles an hour, on the ground, and the fucking earth moves.
01:33:35.000 Yeah.
01:33:36.000 How about that?
01:33:37.000 I don't know.
01:33:37.000 I don't know how L.A. has a metro.
01:33:39.000 I don't really get how it works.
01:33:40.000 Isn't that thing going to collapse the moment there's an earthquake?
01:33:43.000 It's really well built.
01:33:44.000 But San Francisco goes one better.
01:33:47.000 They have the BART system, which goes under the fucking ocean!
01:33:51.000 Does it?
01:33:52.000 Yes, it goes under the bay!
01:33:54.000 You know how I found out?
01:33:56.000 I was high as fuck.
01:33:57.000 And I was hanging out with the crew at Fear Factor.
01:33:59.000 And we decided to go, we were filming in Oakland.
01:34:01.000 We decided to go for dinner in San Francisco.
01:34:03.000 So we all got together.
01:34:04.000 We got on this train.
01:34:05.000 And I'm like, why are my ears popping?
01:34:06.000 And they go, because we're underneath the bay.
01:34:08.000 And I was like, dun dun dun!
01:34:12.000 Shit!
01:34:13.000 We're underneath Alcatraz.
01:34:15.000 I was already super paranoid.
01:34:17.000 I was already super duper high on edibles.
01:34:21.000 I mean it was like the worst time to underestimate the power of edibles and I was underwater and I was feeling my ears pop.
01:34:29.000 There was a real moment where I came downstairs.
01:34:31.000 I came downstairs from my hotel room, and I met all my friends in the lobby, and I was just so beyond barbecued that I had this illusion, this hallucination of people being this two-dimensional cutout, like those preview things that you see at the movies.
01:34:50.000 We see a two-dimensional cutout of an action figure.
01:34:54.000 That's what people were, and then behind that, I would see peeking out their true self.
01:34:59.000 Oh shit.
01:35:00.000 I was like poking out from behind there.
01:35:02.000 I would just like see them.
01:35:03.000 And the problem is you don't know which one to punch.
01:35:05.000 Which one do you punch?
01:35:05.000 They were all my friends.
01:35:06.000 I didn't want to punch them.
01:35:07.000 I was just like, are you really?
01:35:08.000 Where are you taking me?
01:35:10.000 Why are my ears popping?
01:35:13.000 That thing moves.
01:35:14.000 The ground moves there, and they're under the goddamn ocean.
01:35:16.000 San Francisco, it's built on, like, mud.
01:35:19.000 It's filled with sharks, surrounded by sharks, and the ground moves.
01:35:23.000 It's trying to kill you.
01:35:24.000 Sharks are walking down the street.
01:35:25.000 It's a mess.
01:35:26.000 It's trying to kill you.
01:35:27.000 It's trying to kill you.
01:35:30.000 A lot of mountain lions up there, too.
01:35:32.000 Are they?
01:35:32.000 Yeah, they eat dogs.
01:35:33.000 Dogs and cats.
01:35:35.000 Dude, you know what?
01:35:36.000 I say good for them.
01:35:38.000 Listen, some of nature needs to fucking be winning.
01:35:41.000 Some of nature needs to be winning.
01:35:43.000 I think it's great.
01:35:44.000 Not on my watch, boy.
01:35:45.000 I think it should eat a bunch of poodles.
01:35:48.000 Yeah, but occasionally they'll get your girlfriend.
01:35:50.000 Oh, that's not good.
01:35:51.000 Yeah, get joggers.
01:35:53.000 They like to go off to joggers, bikers.
01:35:55.000 I remember I was hiking once and I saw a sign, beware mountain lions, and the advice on the sign was throw sticks and rocks at it, but not if you have to bend down to get them.
01:36:03.000 I was like, what are you walking around with bundles of sticks and rocks?
01:36:06.000 What the fuck are you talking about?
01:36:08.000 Yeah, you gotta be careful because you want to be scary, but you don't want to be challenging.
01:36:12.000 It's a very tricky fucking dance you walk on mountain lions.
01:36:15.000 It was like, if it attacks, fight back.
01:36:18.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
01:36:20.000 I saw a sign recently when I was up in San Francisco.
01:36:22.000 I put it up on my Instagram.
01:36:24.000 That was the very advice.
01:36:25.000 That if you see a mountain lion and a mountain lion attacks you, fight back.
01:36:29.000 Like, oh God.
01:36:31.000 Can you show me an instructional?
01:36:32.000 Can you give me what are the number one best moves?
01:36:34.000 Can you imagine how much you'd get laid if you won that fight, though?
01:36:37.000 There's a dude in Canada that killed one with a knife.
01:36:39.000 He was in his 60s.
01:36:40.000 Mountain lion jumped him, and he's like, fuck you.
01:36:45.000 Just fucking jabbed it to death.
01:36:47.000 That guy's been waiting his whole life for that moment.
01:36:49.000 Maybe.
01:36:50.000 Maybe he's just a man.
01:36:52.000 Just a man with a knife.
01:36:54.000 Maybe he had a giant-ass fucking crocodile Dundee knife.
01:36:58.000 Maybe it was that.
01:36:59.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:37:00.000 It's just the idea that we're supposed to just let those things run around.
01:37:04.000 There's a big protest.
01:37:05.000 I think that nature should be winning in some ways.
01:37:07.000 Fuck you.
01:37:07.000 It should be eating some dogs.
01:37:09.000 Fuck you.
01:37:10.000 They eat dogs.
01:37:11.000 The coyotes eat dogs out here or something.
01:37:13.000 They do occasionally, yeah.
01:37:15.000 They definitely eat little dogs.
01:37:16.000 But it's interesting.
01:37:18.000 I've been reading this book forever.
01:37:19.000 I swear I'll get it done soon, folks.
01:37:20.000 It's a Dan Flores book called Coyote America.
01:37:24.000 It's actually about a history of the coyotes.
01:37:26.000 He's arguing or he's saying that most of what goes on when coyotes kill cats and dogs, they're killing competing predators.
01:37:34.000 That's how they look at it.
01:37:35.000 They're going to eat the cat and the dog, but really what's going on is they're killing the competitors.
01:37:39.000 They're not doing it for food.
01:37:40.000 Well, cats kill an exorbitant amount of animals.
01:37:42.000 You probably know about that, right?
01:37:44.000 Number one killer of birds, I think, is cats.
01:37:47.000 Yeah, in America.
01:37:48.000 Yeah, feral cats, they don't kill just a little.
01:37:51.000 They kill billions of mammals and birds.
01:37:55.000 B.I. And people are like, there's no way.
01:37:57.000 Yeah, there was a whole article about how these scientists did this long-term study, and it blew them away.
01:38:04.000 Once they started doing the calculations, like how many cats there are, how many animals a cat is capable of killing, if the cat's outside, how many animals we'll encounter.
01:38:12.000 Well, and that's why it's bullshit when anti-environmentalists are like, oh, the solar panel system is frying birds.
01:38:19.000 It fries a minimal number of birds compared to the number cats are taking out.
01:38:23.000 Cats are just jacking everything, man.
01:38:26.000 Cats are just monsters.
01:38:29.000 They really are.
01:38:29.000 I also read that if you die in your apartment, dogs will leave you alone, but cats will eat you.
01:38:35.000 They eat your face.
01:38:35.000 They start with your lips.
01:38:37.000 But dogs will leave you alone.
01:38:38.000 Yeah.
01:38:40.000 Cats are...
01:38:40.000 Again, I love cats.
01:38:42.000 I think they're cool as fuck.
01:38:43.000 But they're just designed by nature.
01:38:45.000 There's a whole system.
01:38:46.000 And cats are at the top of the system.
01:38:48.000 The biggest ones...
01:38:49.000 Like, you ever seen that video of the crocodile coming out of the water with its mouth open, and the lion goes in the water and stares it down, and the crocodile's like, fuck this.
01:38:59.000 A crocodile backed off from a lion.
01:39:01.000 There's another video of a, like, regular cat getting a crocodile or alligator to back down.
01:39:06.000 Yeah.
01:39:07.000 Just like a regular house cat being like, eh, eh.
01:39:09.000 Oh, it's a bear.
01:39:10.000 You've seen the cat swat the bear?
01:39:11.000 No.
01:39:11.000 The bear comes to look at the cat.
01:39:13.000 The cat hisses and slaps the bear in the nose.
01:39:15.000 And the bear's like, all right, all right.
01:39:16.000 All right.
01:39:17.000 Chill out.
01:39:17.000 See if I can eat you.
01:39:18.000 Jesus.
01:39:19.000 I just don't want to fight.
01:39:20.000 Jesus Christ.
01:39:21.000 I'm just trying to eat you.
01:39:21.000 I'm just trying to eat you.
01:39:22.000 Just relax a little.
01:39:23.000 Yeah.
01:39:24.000 Yeah.
01:39:25.000 Big cats.
01:39:27.000 In our neighborhood.
01:39:28.000 There's one in Malibu that they're gonna kill now because it's in the mountains of Malibu and they just got the...
01:39:33.000 It's really controversial.
01:39:34.000 I've been getting all these tweets about it.
01:39:36.000 People are so upset.
01:39:37.000 We gotta save this mountain lion.
01:39:38.000 A specific one?
01:39:40.000 Yeah, they have a radio collar on this fucker.
01:39:42.000 They know where he's been and he's slaughtering things up there because there's an alpaca farm He's just flossing his teeth with dog collars.
01:39:50.000 He's killed dogs too.
01:39:52.000 He's killed a lot of shit, but he's killed a lot of shit recently.
01:39:55.000 Like 12 animals or something crazy like that.
01:39:59.000 Listen, don't hate the play, I hate the game.
01:40:01.000 Mountain lion in Malibu killed...
01:40:06.000 Here it goes.
01:40:07.000 P45, suspected of killing 11 alpacas in a goat.
01:40:11.000 Jesus.
01:40:12.000 And he's not doing it.
01:40:13.000 He's in two days.
01:40:15.000 He's just, in two days, he's done this.
01:40:17.000 Listen.
01:40:18.000 He's a monster.
01:40:18.000 You gotta have hobbies.
01:40:20.000 He's out there jacking shit.
01:40:21.000 That's what he does.
01:40:22.000 They should put him in a zoo and let him keep eating things.
01:40:24.000 No.
01:40:25.000 Uh-uh.
01:40:26.000 I would rather kill him than put him in a zoo.
01:40:28.000 Not that I want to kill him either.
01:40:30.000 I just think he should probably be moved to somewhere where he could have a more fruitful life.
01:40:34.000 Take him to Africa.
01:40:36.000 Put him out on the savannas.
01:40:37.000 It's just not good when he's living around people and he's choosing to kill their pets and livestock.
01:40:41.000 Either you're gonna kill him or you're gonna move him.
01:40:43.000 Yeah, but we chose to be in his way.
01:40:45.000 He has 10 days.
01:40:46.000 The permit allows the rancher—it's called a depredation permit.
01:40:49.000 They allow the rancher 10 days to search for a P-45 within a 10-mile range of the ranch.
01:40:54.000 The rancher may also hire a hunter under the terms of the depredation order.
01:40:58.000 See, that's what they do.
01:40:59.000 They hire a hunter, and the hunter comes with dogs.
01:41:02.000 And the dogs find the mountain lion, because guess what, bitch?
01:41:04.000 You're not finding the mountain lion.
01:41:06.000 If the mountain lion doesn't want you to find them, you're not finding them.
01:41:08.000 Most people that live up there- Wait, even with a tracking device?
01:41:11.000 No, you're not going to find him.
01:41:12.000 You're going to know where he is, but you won't be able to get near him.
01:41:14.000 Wow.
01:41:14.000 He's going to know where you are.
01:41:15.000 Unless you figure out a way to circle the area where he is and have like a large number of people, you know, like an army in the old timey days that come at each other with spears and then just start moving in.
01:41:27.000 But you would have to have so many fucking people, you'd circle an enormous area.
01:41:30.000 Because he's going to smell you from a mile away, like literally a mile away.
01:41:35.000 They'll run when they smell you.
01:41:37.000 He can see you way better than you can see him.
01:41:39.000 See, I appreciate that.
01:41:40.000 Let him go.
01:41:40.000 It's pretty dope, but I don't appreciate it in a zoo.
01:41:45.000 I think that's the worst thing you can do to it.
01:41:48.000 Well, I don't want him in a zoo, but I also don't want him dead.
01:41:51.000 Isn't it more dead to be in a zoo than to give your life to the organisms in the ground like nature intended?
01:41:58.000 That was beautiful.
01:41:58.000 If you're out there in the wild?
01:41:59.000 I mean, if that alpaca-killing monster, that goat-slaying monster just gets shot, the coyotes eat them, everybody eats them, everybody gets off, we're fine.
01:42:09.000 No more monsters.
01:42:10.000 Well, you know, maybe they'll put him in the zoo and eventually he'll escape and grab a kid or two.
01:42:15.000 Did you see that one in the zoo that killed a koala?
01:42:17.000 The L.A. zoo?
01:42:18.000 Killed a koala?
01:42:19.000 No.
01:42:20.000 Climbed a fucking barbed wire fence, got into the koala cage, killed a koala.
01:42:25.000 Oh, those must look so appetizing after you've been in your cage for years.
01:42:29.000 Yeah.
01:42:29.000 He's like, I am...
01:42:31.000 There's snacks living next door!
01:42:33.000 But he's not in a cage, though.
01:42:34.000 He's outside.
01:42:35.000 Oh, he's outside.
01:42:36.000 He's a legit wild mountain lion.
01:42:38.000 And he saw this...
01:42:39.000 I think it was a koala.
01:42:40.000 Was it a koala or a panda?
01:42:41.000 Koala?
01:42:42.000 Yeah.
01:42:42.000 He saw the things like, I could fucking definitely eat that.
01:42:44.000 Dude, he realized, he's like, there's a whole pin of snacks right there.
01:42:48.000 So how do I get in here?
01:42:49.000 They're so baffled.
01:42:50.000 Like, how did he get over the barbed wire?
01:42:53.000 He figured out a way to get over the barbed wire.
01:42:54.000 They're like velociraptors.
01:42:57.000 They figured out how to open door handles.
01:42:59.000 Dude.
01:43:00.000 What an amazing creation.
01:43:02.000 It's just, it's so cool that nature has all these varieties of amazing things that you could kind of pay attention to if you really want to really like spend a day looking at all the wide variety of bizarre animals.
01:43:13.000 We were playing a video the other day of a roadrunner that kills and eats a rattlesnake.
01:43:17.000 Did you know that roadrunners eat rattlesnakes?
01:43:19.000 No.
01:43:19.000 Dude!
01:43:20.000 It's the craziest thing you've ever seen in your life!
01:43:22.000 Grab it by the head and then smash its head on rocks.
01:43:25.000 Whoa.
01:43:26.000 That's nuts.
01:43:27.000 Play it for him.
01:43:28.000 Play it for him.
01:43:29.000 You need to see this.
01:43:30.000 You need to see this.
01:43:31.000 I couldn't believe it.
01:43:32.000 I couldn't believe it.
01:43:32.000 I saw it and I was like, this can't be real.
01:43:35.000 Did you see the one where the Roadrunner was chasing, like, bikers on bicycles?
01:43:41.000 And it's just, like, going with them for, like, miles.
01:43:44.000 There he is.
01:43:45.000 Look at this bad motherfucker.
01:43:47.000 A little more of the video.
01:43:48.000 I guess they were in a fight before he got a hold of them.
01:43:51.000 Yeah, oh no, they go at it for a while and boom.
01:43:53.000 So he gets them by the top of the head.
01:43:55.000 Look how he does them in here, man.
01:43:57.000 Smash!
01:43:57.000 Dude.
01:43:59.000 But look at his eyes.
01:44:00.000 That is a fucking dinosaur, man.
01:44:02.000 Bang!
01:44:02.000 How is he not getting bitten?
01:44:04.000 Because he's got a hold of him.
01:44:05.000 He's got a hold of his jaw.
01:44:07.000 Look what he did to his jaw.
01:44:08.000 He figured out a way to bite his top jaw and then smash his head on the rocks.
01:44:13.000 Wow.
01:44:14.000 Just killed it.
01:44:14.000 And then he starts eating it.
01:44:16.000 Watch when he eats it.
01:44:17.000 It's even more bizarre because it's so big.
01:44:20.000 That's an amazing creation.
01:44:23.000 Look at it.
01:44:23.000 He's eating this snake.
01:44:26.000 He took it down in one bite.
01:44:28.000 This is insane.
01:44:30.000 What a crazy dinosaur-like tiny animal.
01:44:34.000 That's nuts.
01:44:36.000 Have you ever heard of pterobirds?
01:44:37.000 No.
01:44:38.000 Pterobirds were like a roadrunner type bird, but nine feet tall.
01:44:46.000 Flightless birds that lived in, I think, in the Jurassic.
01:44:50.000 Oh, so like pterodactyls, but...
01:44:53.000 Yeah, no, it wasn't the Jurassic.
01:44:55.000 I think it was somewhere around 15,000, 16,000 years ago.
01:44:59.000 Am I wrong about that?
01:45:01.000 When did terror birds go extinct?
01:45:03.000 It might have been a lot longer.
01:45:04.000 It might have been like 100,000 years ago.
01:45:05.000 But it wasn't so long ago that there weren't people.
01:45:07.000 There were people alive when these things were alive.
01:45:10.000 And there were these giant nine-foot predatory birds.
01:45:15.000 Well, because dinosaurs are closely related to birds.
01:45:18.000 They're basically birds.
01:45:20.000 Jesus.
01:45:21.000 Jesus, Lee Camp.
01:45:23.000 Jesus.
01:45:24.000 Here's the thing.
01:45:25.000 Two and a half million years ago?
01:45:26.000 Oh.
01:45:26.000 Before people.
01:45:27.000 The fuck am I talking about?
01:45:29.000 Who gives me the mic?
01:45:30.000 But they should have been here.
01:45:32.000 We should bring them back.
01:45:33.000 We can do it now, probably.
01:45:34.000 Look what they look like.
01:45:34.000 Clone them.
01:45:35.000 Okay.
01:45:36.000 Those should be walking around, and then you have fewer people.
01:45:38.000 Damn, that was two and a half million years ago?
01:45:40.000 So what was 2.5 million years ago?
01:45:42.000 Were we like Australopithecus?
01:45:44.000 Is that what we were back then?
01:45:48.000 Wow.
01:45:49.000 Look at that bird.
01:45:50.000 The reign of the terror bird.
01:45:52.000 Jesus Christ.
01:45:53.000 Okay.
01:45:53.000 Gorging on a smorgasbord of plant-eating mammals until these scary birds disappeared about 2.5 million years ago.
01:46:00.000 So if you had to guess, what were humans 2.5 million years ago?
01:46:06.000 Like hairy little ape things.
01:46:07.000 Yeah, little ape things.
01:46:08.000 It's not that long.
01:46:09.000 Dude, I bet they were scared of that fucking thing.
01:46:11.000 Fuck yeah.
01:46:12.000 That's probably why we were scary little ape things.
01:46:15.000 Maybe once that thing died off, we came out of the cave.
01:46:17.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:46:18.000 Started getting our shit together.
01:46:19.000 Came down from the trees.
01:46:22.000 It's weird that that's our logo too, right?
01:46:24.000 An eagle.
01:46:25.000 That's our mascot.
01:46:27.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:46:27.000 A flying terror bird.
01:46:29.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:46:34.000 Yeah.
01:46:35.000 Is that how you feel about life right now?
01:46:37.000 Yeah.
01:46:38.000 But you were talking about too many people.
01:46:39.000 I'm telling you, you bring back a couple terror birds, you let them loose.
01:46:42.000 Fewer people.
01:46:44.000 That's not the way to handle it, Lee Camp.
01:46:46.000 Because they're going to get you too.
01:46:47.000 And they're going to get me.
01:46:49.000 If you're out in the Target parking lot.
01:46:50.000 See, this is the problem.
01:46:51.000 You have kids, so you're worried that Mountain Lion's going to get them.
01:46:53.000 I'm worried about my kids, but I'm definitely worried about me too.
01:46:56.000 What about you, man?
01:46:57.000 Listen, my kids might outrun you, bitch.
01:46:59.000 You know how to choke out a Mountain Lion, right?
01:47:02.000 It's not going to work.
01:47:04.000 It's not going to work.
01:47:05.000 Do you think, honestly, do you think there's too many people?
01:47:07.000 Do you think it's possible that we could balance it out?
01:47:10.000 I think we can balance it out.
01:47:11.000 I think if we use technology appropriately, I mean, we throw away 40% of our food.
01:47:15.000 Do we really?
01:47:16.000 Yeah.
01:47:16.000 But if we give that 40% away, maybe they'll just keep fucking and having more babies.
01:47:20.000 That's awesome.
01:47:20.000 And we'll be more doomed.
01:47:21.000 Yeah, eventually we'll get there, too.
01:47:23.000 Who's they?
01:47:24.000 Those other people.
01:47:25.000 The others!
01:47:26.000 The others!
01:47:26.000 What were you pulling up over there, Jamie?
01:47:28.000 Nothing?
01:47:29.000 Oh.
01:47:29.000 Yeah, it is a weird thing when you look at some place like India that has one-third of the landmass.
01:47:37.000 We could live in a sustainable way, but we're not doing it at all.
01:47:40.000 And the planet is collapsing under the weight.
01:47:43.000 But how would you decide, like, when it comes to overpopulation, without doing the China thing, the one baby thing, which really didn't work at all?
01:47:50.000 Well, it kind of fucked up everything.
01:47:51.000 What a disaster.
01:47:53.000 People throwing babies over bridges.
01:47:55.000 Well, not only that, they had, like, 70% men.
01:47:58.000 Yeah.
01:47:58.000 You know, they had some bizarre thing because they wanted more men than women.
01:48:01.000 Yeah.
01:48:02.000 Well, because everyone, the way their culture works is the, you know, the man inherits all the, yeah, they wanted a boy.
01:48:10.000 That's not a good thing.
01:48:12.000 70% men?
01:48:13.000 No.
01:48:13.000 That's a mess.
01:48:14.000 That's a lot of sad men.
01:48:16.000 How many different continents right now have more than a billion people on them?
01:48:19.000 There's India.
01:48:20.000 I have no idea.
01:48:22.000 If you had to guess.
01:48:23.000 It's a quiz.
01:48:25.000 You're a very smart guy, and I want to test your general knowledge.
01:48:28.000 It depends on what you're considering a continent, because you've got Eurasia, you've got, you know, we're talking land masses?
01:48:35.000 That's true.
01:48:37.000 Right.
01:48:39.000 Yeah, it's a lot of fucking people.
01:48:40.000 Countries?
01:48:41.000 It might only be China and India, that have over a billion.
01:48:46.000 It's a lot of fucking people.
01:48:48.000 It's amazing when you look back just a couple hundred years ago at the numbers of people that were alive.
01:48:54.000 Well, population's going like, it's shooting through the roof.
01:48:57.000 Yeah, it's crazy.
01:48:58.000 I mean, I think it was the 1970s, the world population was in like 2 billion range.
01:49:03.000 And now it's what, 7?
01:49:05.000 7 billion?
01:49:06.000 Yeah.
01:49:08.000 It's not good.
01:49:08.000 Well, the problem is we've wiped out all the diseases.
01:49:10.000 You need some real good diseases running to really, to clear out the underbrush, you know?
01:49:15.000 I don't think you should say that.
01:49:18.000 I'm making you uncomfortable.
01:49:19.000 We went to the CDC once, me and Duncan Trussell, for this show I was doing, and we talked to all these disease guys.
01:49:25.000 You know what's really interesting?
01:49:27.000 They're terrified.
01:49:27.000 The people that run the CDC, they are legitimately terrified of pandemics.
01:49:32.000 Like, legitimately.
01:49:33.000 They're like, we're not worried about...
01:49:34.000 I'm like, were you guys worried about weaponized diseases and anthrax?
01:49:38.000 And they're like, we are worried about regular diseases that just go amok, that just go Spanish flu on people.
01:49:44.000 Just start slaughtering massive amounts of people.
01:49:47.000 Mm-hmm.
01:49:48.000 Yeah, and I think a large reason that they fear that is because of the reuse of antibiotics, and a lot of that is in factory farming.
01:49:55.000 Is that?
01:49:56.000 Yeah.
01:49:56.000 Is that where they use most of the antibiotics?
01:49:58.000 It's like 70% of antibiotics or more than that is used in factory farms.
01:50:02.000 They pump these animals full of it because these animals are living on top of each other and each other's shit, and the only way to have them survive is to pump them full of antibiotics.
01:50:10.000 And so then that immunity to antibiotics then spreads to us.
01:50:14.000 Yeah, that's where the next pandemic will come from, factory farming.
01:50:16.000 I was watching this video online yesterday of this girl who is like a vegan activist who had this video about why do we eat turkey on Thanksgiving.
01:50:25.000 It's a really well done video.
01:50:27.000 It's very smartly edited and very smartly narrated and she starts talking about the turkey industry, but she sets it up really well.
01:50:36.000 Like, we just sort of do it.
01:50:38.000 Like, why do we eat turkeys?
01:50:39.000 And then she takes you to this Mike Rowe episode where they show how they get turkey cum.
01:50:44.000 And that all these turkeys are so overbred and fucked up and they're so big so quick they literally can't physically have sex.
01:50:51.000 And they can't walk.
01:50:52.000 Yeah, so they use artificial insemination.
01:50:54.000 And so this guy has to literally...
01:50:56.000 Talk sweet to them.
01:50:59.000 Yeah, you gotta talk sweet to them.
01:51:00.000 They have this turkey's legs clamped down this machine and then he's like touching its prostate and with a tube in its like hole because it has one hole.
01:51:12.000 It's sucking it.
01:51:13.000 It's sucking it out with a straw.
01:51:14.000 The turkey's gotta be like, what the fuck is going on?
01:51:18.000 Exactly.
01:51:19.000 He's getting diddled.
01:51:19.000 He's cumming.
01:51:20.000 This guy has a tube.
01:51:22.000 He's sucking the cum out of this turkey's hole, you know, because they have, like, that one sort of universal hole for everything.
01:51:28.000 Yeah.
01:51:29.000 And as he's sucking the cum out of it, he has a glass of bottled water with him, because sometimes it gets in his mouth, so he has to, like, clean it out.
01:51:35.000 I'm like, what kind of a fucking job?
01:51:37.000 This is the only way you can get this stuff?
01:51:38.000 Jesus, dude.
01:51:39.000 Turkey rape should be illegal.
01:51:40.000 Totally.
01:51:41.000 But it's amazing that nobody talks about that, but everybody talks about, like, force-feeding ducks to get Fogwa.
01:51:48.000 Like, how'd you guys miss that one?
01:51:49.000 Yeah.
01:51:50.000 Like, look what they're doing to that turkey's butt.
01:51:53.000 Like, how come you guys, everybody's cool with turkey?
01:51:55.000 It's fucking sick.
01:51:55.000 And, you know, like, you're talking about, they pump them full of these hormones to make them too big.
01:51:59.000 It's like, pigs in factory farming are made so big that they can, like, hardly move.
01:52:05.000 And then when they have them, like, they take them out to the, you know, killing floor or whatever, they've never really walked very far.
01:52:11.000 Some of them collapse under the, like, stress of, like, walking 10 feet.
01:52:16.000 It's just, like, a sick system.
01:52:18.000 It's weird, too, because pigs are smart.
01:52:21.000 Yeah, emotionally really smart.
01:52:23.000 There was a documentary once called My Brother's Keeper.
01:52:25.000 It was about these mentally challenged guys that were being put up for murder.
01:52:29.000 Did you ever see it?
01:52:30.000 It was a long time ago.
01:52:32.000 But I remember when I watched it, there was a scene because they were rural farmers and they were being charged with some murder and apparently they were just really mentally slow and incapable of sort of understanding the charges that are being levied against them.
01:52:46.000 But when they were running this farm, there was one scene where they had to execute a pig, and the guy pulls out the gun, and he starts going towards the pig, and the pig recognizes the gun and just fucking panics.
01:52:57.000 Like, the pig who had been around him all the time and never worried at all saw that gun and freaked the fuck out and just started running and running around, and he's chasing it, and then he shoots it in the head.
01:53:07.000 And I remember thinking, whoa, that pig knew.
01:53:10.000 Like, that pig knew what the gun was.
01:53:12.000 That's a level of intelligence that's super uncomfortable.
01:53:16.000 Yep, they're smart.
01:53:18.000 They're fucking smart.
01:53:22.000 But the problem with pigs is they go wild.
01:53:24.000 I thought you were going to say the problem is they're delicious.
01:53:26.000 No, I was going to say the real problem with pigs is what do you do with them all?
01:53:32.000 Pigs are like super prolific breeders.
01:53:35.000 Yeah.
01:53:36.000 You ever see wild pigs?
01:53:38.000 No.
01:53:39.000 I know they exist.
01:53:40.000 Hanging out in the city is too much, buddy.
01:53:42.000 I know.
01:53:42.000 I know they exist.
01:53:43.000 Yeah, they're all over Texas.
01:53:46.000 Texas is so crazy with them.
01:53:48.000 It's not nice to call the people of Texas wild pigs.
01:53:50.000 That's not what I meant, bro.
01:53:51.000 That's too much joke.
01:53:52.000 Dude, that's not what I'm saying.
01:53:53.000 How does Ted Cruz keep getting elected?
01:53:54.000 Tell me about that.
01:53:55.000 You understand politics.
01:53:57.000 What the fuck's going on there?
01:53:58.000 Because he's in the middle of fucking, you know, Texas.
01:54:01.000 Yeah, but how do they not even look at him like people should be looking at Jim Baker with his fucking furniture made out of survival food?
01:54:08.000 They should be looking at him the same exact way, like, wait a minute, man.
01:54:12.000 They absolutely should.
01:54:15.000 Anybody who's ever been in a room with Ted Cruz, you just see them, they're like, ugh, that guy.
01:54:20.000 Even his own daughter, you remember that video of his daughter being like, ugh.
01:54:23.000 Do you know the story about his college roommate, who's like his number one troll now?
01:54:28.000 No.
01:54:29.000 His college roommate brutalizes him on Twitter.
01:54:32.000 His college roommate is really smart.
01:54:34.000 And I think he's a screenwriter.
01:54:36.000 And he just mocks Ted Cruz so openly on Twitter.
01:54:41.000 And he said, in order to think like Ted Cruz, you have to, and he abbreviates it out, like, I should be president.
01:54:48.000 So you should have I as president.
01:54:50.000 B, P, before everything Ted Cruz says or does.
01:54:54.000 Because in his mind, he should be president.
01:54:56.000 So before you look at anything that he says, just put in his mind the thought, I should be president first, and then he says these things.
01:55:05.000 I'm like, oh my god, that's so good.
01:55:07.000 It's so good.
01:55:08.000 His Twitter page is marvelous.
01:55:10.000 It's marvelous.
01:55:12.000 Ugh.
01:55:13.000 And how sad that people are like, damn, if only Ted Cruz had won.
01:55:17.000 If only he'd beat Trump.
01:55:19.000 We could've had a real God-fearing Christian in the White House instead of this orange fella.
01:55:27.000 Yeah, he was a spooky dude, man.
01:55:29.000 Yeah, here's the guy's name.
01:55:30.000 Freshman year color.
01:55:31.000 Craig Mazin.
01:55:32.000 And it's, uh, is it, what is it?
01:55:34.000 What is his, um...
01:55:36.000 C.L. Mazin.
01:55:37.000 C-L-M-A-Z-I-N. What kind of monster?
01:55:40.000 He's fucking hilarious.
01:55:42.000 Do you saw, I'm sure you saw the video.
01:55:44.000 For not smothering Ted Cruz in his sleep in 1988. Getting emails blaming me for not smothering Ted Cruz in his sleep in 1988. What kind of a monster do you think I am?
01:55:59.000 A really prescient one?
01:56:00.000 You think I knew?
01:56:02.000 My freshman year college roommate Ted Cruz is gonna be elected senator.
01:56:05.000 In case I hadn't made it clear, he's also a huge asshole.
01:56:09.000 I think people don't have a right to stimulate their genitals.
01:56:16.000 This would be a new belief of his.
01:56:18.000 I was his college roommate.
01:56:20.000 This would be a new belief of his.
01:56:22.000 It's a funny dude.
01:56:24.000 He does it really funny.
01:56:25.000 But it's, like, Ted Cruz, when they had that video that came out where they were all making that family, like, you know, it was supposed to be sort of a candid moment where the family's all sitting around talking.
01:56:36.000 They just keep redoing it, redoing it.
01:56:38.000 Did you ever see that?
01:56:39.000 Mm-mm.
01:56:39.000 You never lied?
01:56:40.000 No.
01:56:40.000 Oh, it's wonderful.
01:56:42.000 It's wonderful.
01:56:42.000 Because they couldn't look like a real family.
01:56:44.000 Well, it's all fake.
01:56:47.000 One of the things he says is, my mother will pray about me, oftentimes for hours a day.
01:56:52.000 And the mom goes like...
01:56:54.000 And they have this awkward hug moment where they have to redo it.
01:57:01.000 It's so gross.
01:57:02.000 Here, play some of this.
01:57:04.000 I'm just thinking for a second.
01:57:08.000 Who released the unedited?
01:57:09.000 I don't know.
01:57:10.000 Yeah, we're still rolling.
01:57:12.000 Eleanor, why don't you say something to get him going?
01:57:13.000 He sees in people what they may not see in themselves.
01:57:21.000 That's his son.
01:57:23.000 That's his son?
01:57:24.000 Yeah.
01:57:25.000 Dude, he hates his dad.
01:57:26.000 Guarantee that kid listens to this podcast.
01:57:28.000 What's up, dude?
01:57:29.000 Holla.
01:57:30.000 Holla at me.
01:57:31.000 Listen, when my dad was a scared teenage boy.
01:57:34.000 Excuse me.
01:57:37.000 Listen, when my dad was a scared teenage boy.
01:57:40.000 Listen, when my dad was...
01:57:41.000 And he has a gift in the way of...
01:57:48.000 It was...
01:57:49.000 Look at his son.
01:57:51.000 His son's thinking.
01:57:52.000 This is what his son's thinking.
01:57:54.000 Load the round into the chamber.
01:57:59.000 Are you okay with the way that was answered?
01:58:06.000 What would it mean to America to have Ted as a president?
01:58:09.000 En Español.
01:58:12.000 Yo creo que- I admire my tía Sonia.
01:58:15.000 That's hilarious.
01:58:17.000 I admire you a lot.
01:58:19.000 I'm proud of you.
01:58:20.000 I'm very proud.
01:58:22.000 My tía Sonia fought against Castro in Cuba.
01:58:26.000 Explain- What the fuck?
01:58:30.000 How did he get elected, Senator?
01:58:33.000 Well, there's a lot of people out there where all you have to do, Lee Camp, is put on the right uniform.
01:58:38.000 I like how you dress.
01:58:40.000 And the right voice.
01:58:41.000 You have the right kind of hair.
01:58:42.000 You have liberal tear hair gel.
01:58:45.000 You're doing all the right...
01:58:46.000 Do you have an American flag on your lapel?
01:58:48.000 You do.
01:58:49.000 You have an American flag pin on your lapel.
01:58:51.000 Bigger than everyone else's.
01:58:52.000 Well, it's distinctive.
01:58:55.000 It's a distinctive flag.
01:58:57.000 That's all you have to do.
01:58:58.000 Have the right...
01:58:59.000 Say the right things.
01:59:00.000 You have to appeal to the right people.
01:59:02.000 He was involved in some sort of a law against...
01:59:05.000 Or the enforcing of a law against dildos at one point.
01:59:09.000 Did you know that?
01:59:10.000 Jesus.
01:59:10.000 You never saw that?
01:59:11.000 No.
01:59:12.000 Wait, wouldn't that mean he can't be senator?
01:59:15.000 There's a law against dildos?
01:59:17.000 I forget the specifics of the law.
01:59:22.000 I don't want people enjoying their sex lives.
01:59:26.000 Well, there was a law in place.
01:59:27.000 I can't enjoy mine.
01:59:28.000 There was some sort of a law in place about sexual novelty devices, like dildos and stuff.
01:59:34.000 And he was involved in, I think it was like a crazy law too.
01:59:38.000 Like you go to jail for two years or something like that for a dildo.
01:59:40.000 Yeah.
01:59:41.000 Ted Cruz defended a ban on dildos.
01:59:45.000 He's holding it up.
01:59:46.000 Look at his face like King Kong is coming in his face.
01:59:50.000 That's what it looks like right there.
01:59:51.000 A ban on dildos.
01:59:52.000 Yeah, this was from 2003 to 2008 when he was the Solicitor General.
01:59:57.000 So what do they do with like zucchinis and things?
02:00:00.000 Do they ban dildo-shaped fruit?
02:00:03.000 I know, right?
02:00:04.000 You can use anything if you're a girl.
02:00:05.000 They're so lucky.
02:00:06.000 It says, the case is an important battle concerning privacy and free speech rights.
02:00:11.000 In 2004, the companies that owned Austin stores were selling sex toys and a retail distributor of such products challenged the Texas law outlawing the sale and promotion of supposedly obscene devices.
02:00:23.000 Under the law, a person who violated the statute could go to jail for up to two years.
02:00:28.000 At the time, only three states, Mississippi, Alabama, and Virginia had similar laws.
02:00:32.000 Blah, blah, [...
02:00:34.000 Okay, this is what happened.
02:00:36.000 A Texas mother who was a sales rep for passion parties was arrested by two undercover cops for selling vibrators and other sex-related goods at a gathering akin to a Tupperware party for sex toys.
02:00:50.000 You fucking monsters!
02:00:52.000 It's godless!
02:00:53.000 There had to be women, by the way.
02:00:55.000 Guys would be getting their dick sucked.
02:00:57.000 They'd be like, look, let's just cut the shit.
02:00:58.000 I got the real thing right here.
02:01:02.000 No doubt this had worried businesses peddling such wares.
02:01:07.000 The plaintiffs in the sex device case contended that state law violated the right to privacy under the 14th Amendment.
02:01:13.000 They argued that many people in Texas use sexual devices as an aspect of their sexual experiences, and they claimed that in some instances one partner couple might...
02:01:23.000 Okay.
02:01:24.000 I get it.
02:01:25.000 So anyway, Ted Cruz's team...
02:01:27.000 Scroll down so we find what he did.
02:01:29.000 You just...
02:01:30.000 There you go.
02:01:31.000 In 2007, Ted Cruz's legal team working on behalf of then Attorney General Greg Abbott filed a 76-page brief calling on the US Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit to uphold the lower court's decision and permit the law to stand.
02:01:46.000 The Penal Code.
02:01:47.000 The Penal Code prohibits the advertisement and sale of dildos, artificial vaginas, and other obscene devices.
02:01:54.000 Oh my God.
02:01:55.000 But does not forbid the private use of such devices.
02:01:58.000 That's hilarious.
02:01:59.000 Jesus.
02:02:00.000 So they wanted to uphold the law.
02:02:01.000 That was a 76-page brief.
02:02:04.000 Listen, I feel the same way about this as I do about drugs.
02:02:06.000 Whatever you want to put in your body.
02:02:09.000 This is, I mean, even more innocuous.
02:02:12.000 This doesn't even get you drunk.
02:02:14.000 You know, when you stick a dildo in you, you pull it out, you're sober.
02:02:17.000 I would imagine.
02:02:18.000 Listen, you don't remember about the dildo mask pair of 76. How the fuck can you file it?
02:02:24.000 It could harm a lot of people.
02:02:25.000 They should go to jail, all of them, for fraud.
02:02:28.000 First of all, it took you 76 pages to figure out whether or not someone should be able to sell dildos.
02:02:34.000 I mean, they should go to jail for going against the Constitution.
02:02:39.000 Which should be four words.
02:02:40.000 Who gives a fuck?
02:02:41.000 That's it.
02:02:42.000 Boom.
02:02:42.000 Next case.
02:02:43.000 Do what you want with your plastic devices.
02:02:47.000 Dude.
02:02:48.000 What's it like working for RT? It's fine.
02:02:51.000 Is it cool?
02:02:51.000 Do you like it?
02:02:52.000 Yeah, I mean, here's the thing, it's like, all the shit I say, I can't say on, like, any other network.
02:02:56.000 Right.
02:02:56.000 They, you know, I was on some of these networks for, like, one guest appearance, and then that was it.
02:03:01.000 What show was that?
02:03:02.000 Well, you, last time I was on, you played me on Fox News, last time I was on Fox News.
02:03:05.000 That was awesome.
02:03:06.000 I was on MSNBC, Dylan Raddigan, the only time they've ever had me on.
02:03:10.000 I was on Keith Olbermann, the only time that ever happened, so it's like...
02:03:13.000 What happened when you and Keith Olbermann?
02:03:15.000 Well, I was a guest host, it wasn't him, but I was Schuster.
02:03:17.000 But, uh, Nothing went wrong.
02:03:18.000 It's just the stuff I'm saying is not good for corporations.
02:03:23.000 I feel like you're a very reasonable guy.
02:03:25.000 I feel that way too.
02:03:27.000 Thank you.
02:03:27.000 I don't think you're saying anything too crazy.
02:03:29.000 So when you're working for RT, they pretty much let you...
02:03:33.000 I mean, what kind of editorial control do they have over your content?
02:03:37.000 Well, I mean, technically they have editorial control, but I'm not told to say anything I say.
02:03:42.000 That's amazing.
02:03:42.000 And yeah, no, it's huge freedom.
02:03:44.000 And, you know, I think you have RT News, which says on their website, we are the Russian perspective of the world.
02:03:49.000 And then you have RT Opinion, which is me, Larry King, Jesse Ventura.
02:03:53.000 Larry King.
02:03:54.000 Yeah, Chris Hedges.
02:03:55.000 In Russia.
02:03:55.000 Larry King.
02:03:56.000 Chris Hedges?
02:03:57.000 Chris Hedges, yeah.
02:03:58.000 Whoa.
02:03:59.000 Abby Martin used to be there, obviously.
02:04:01.000 And so it's like great voices that it's just like we're doing our opinion thing.
02:04:05.000 We're doing the same thing we've been doing for years.
02:04:06.000 They try to ship Abby Martin off to fucking Siberia.
02:04:08.000 Well, that was hilarious.
02:04:10.000 That was such a catastrophe.
02:04:12.000 Not just for them, but it was like CNN had her on.
02:04:16.000 I went with her to a Piers Morgan interview because they thought she was going to give...
02:04:20.000 They thought she was, oh, that she's on our team now.
02:04:23.000 And it was like, no, Abby Martin knows what the fuck's going on.
02:04:25.000 And she said things they were like, wait, she's going off script.
02:04:28.000 This is not what CNN thought she'd say.
02:04:29.000 Yeah, then they wanted to bring her to fucking Ukraine.
02:04:33.000 Although people think that she got fired from RT because of that, she was there for another year and then left on her own accord.
02:04:41.000 It is kind of crazy that they were thinking they could just make her go there, though.
02:04:45.000 Well, that was funny.
02:04:47.000 She woke up that morning and they had announced she was going to go tour Crimea without telling her.
02:04:51.000 And she was like, what?
02:04:52.000 She was like, the fuck I am.
02:04:54.000 The fuck I am.
02:04:56.000 It was hilarious.
02:04:57.000 Could you imagine if you got up and you had heard that the government of Russia had determined that you were going to visit a war zone?
02:05:06.000 Holy shit.
02:05:07.000 And I don't know whether it was just a PR person thought it'd be a good move.
02:05:11.000 I have no idea what happened.
02:05:12.000 I bet it came from the top.
02:05:14.000 I don't think Putin spends his time.
02:05:16.000 I bet he was in the middle of a Botox session.
02:05:18.000 He was like, his mouth was numb.
02:05:20.000 He was yelling out, bring her hair!
02:05:22.000 Back out of here!
02:05:25.000 He's getting Botox.
02:05:26.000 Somebody needs to tell him to stop that.
02:05:28.000 Is he?
02:05:28.000 It's too fucking rugged for Botox.
02:05:31.000 Let's let it go, dude.
02:05:32.000 I was thinking a lot of the latest Brad Pitt thing.
02:05:34.000 I was wondering if there was some Botox involved.
02:05:36.000 Brad Pitt?
02:05:37.000 Yeah.
02:05:37.000 Brad Pitt was hanging out with Putin?
02:05:39.000 Is that what you're saying?
02:05:39.000 No, no.
02:05:40.000 I saw Allied.
02:05:41.000 It's actually a great movie.
02:05:42.000 Oh, his new movie?
02:05:43.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:05:43.000 You see some Botox in Brad?
02:05:45.000 He just...
02:05:46.000 The wrinkles aren't there.
02:05:47.000 Something's going on.
02:05:48.000 Something fishy going on.
02:05:50.000 Maybe Angelina Jolie's just got it that good.
02:05:53.000 Just gives it to you.
02:05:55.000 Stay young.
02:05:55.000 They use that CGI stuff for a lot of people now, when they're in Hollywood movies.
02:05:59.000 Do they use it throughout the whole movie?
02:06:01.000 Yeah, in lots of cases.
02:06:02.000 I thought it might look like that.
02:06:04.000 Well, maybe that's what it is.
02:06:05.000 Well, they did that for sure with Westworld, with Anthony Hopkins.
02:06:09.000 Spoiler alert, there's one scene where they show Anthony Hopkins back in the day, and they have him as, you know, maybe a man in his 50s instead of in his 60s, and they do a really subtle job of CGI-ing, and it looks great.
02:06:22.000 It's amazing.
02:06:22.000 How far are we from just, like, dead actors being in movies?
02:06:25.000 Oh, 100%.
02:06:27.000 Tupac is touring.
02:06:28.000 That's true, the hologram tour.
02:06:31.000 Yeah, I think they're going to have almost...
02:06:33.000 Look at that.
02:06:34.000 It's amazing what they did.
02:06:35.000 Oh, shit.
02:06:36.000 Amazing.
02:06:37.000 Yeah.
02:06:37.000 How do you make him skinnier, too?
02:06:39.000 Well, they had him not just at this stage, either, by the way.
02:06:42.000 They had him in more than one stage.
02:06:44.000 They had him in a slightly older stage, as well.
02:06:47.000 It's just...
02:06:47.000 And do you think the acting, the scenes, the body, do they get a different actor to act scenes?
02:06:53.000 That's a good question.
02:06:54.000 Do they?
02:06:54.000 Pretty sure, yeah.
02:06:55.000 It would be a different actor, and they just put a different face on him.
02:06:57.000 Wow.
02:06:57.000 Yeah.
02:06:58.000 Remember when they did that with the Sopranos, and it was terrible?
02:07:01.000 No.
02:07:01.000 The mom died, and then they did one last scene with the mom, and you're like, what in the fuck led you to think that we would accept this?
02:07:11.000 It was so bad!
02:07:13.000 It was so bad, and they only had her in there for a moment, but it was like somebody else's body, and her head was moving weird, and it's just like, look, here it goes, watch.
02:07:20.000 Here, play it, play it.
02:07:21.000 Give us some volume.
02:07:22.000 So, how's it going?
02:07:24.000 What do you care?
02:07:25.000 Out of sight, out of mind.
02:07:28.000 Put some books on tape, uh...
02:07:31.000 Since you say you can't concentrate to read.
02:07:34.000 I wish the Lord would take me now.
02:07:36.000 Well, they're just using clips from shit.
02:07:39.000 Yeah.
02:07:40.000 No, man, I thought there was a...
02:07:42.000 Hmm.
02:07:43.000 I'm confused.
02:07:45.000 No.
02:07:46.000 Maybe later.
02:07:46.000 I don't think this is the same scene.
02:07:48.000 I think, yeah, those were just clips they had stashed.
02:07:50.000 Yeah, that's not the same scene.
02:07:52.000 Why don't you Google, what was the mom's name?
02:07:56.000 Fake CGI mom in The Sopranos.
02:08:00.000 Maybe I'm wrong.
02:08:01.000 This is what came up.
02:08:01.000 It says it happened.
02:08:02.000 Maybe I'm wrong.
02:08:03.000 But this is just a clip that pops up.
02:08:05.000 Man, when I saw it, I could have swore they had somebody else's head.
02:08:07.000 Six insane attempts to make movies starring dead movie stars.
02:08:11.000 Is that the next thing?
02:08:12.000 During The Sopranos.
02:08:14.000 Death of Olivia Soprano is the last time you see whatever with poor CGI. That didn't look that bad though.
02:08:21.000 Maybe it's later in the clip.
02:08:22.000 Maybe it's just because we're looking at...
02:08:23.000 Maybe it's later in the clip.
02:08:25.000 I don't know.
02:08:26.000 Maybe.
02:08:26.000 Maybe they were showing her originally.
02:08:28.000 Eh.
02:08:30.000 Whatever.
02:08:31.000 We lost Gandolfini, bro.
02:08:33.000 That's rough.
02:08:34.000 That's a rough loss.
02:08:36.000 Okay, let's just let it go.
02:08:38.000 So, you hear that?
02:08:39.000 That's the cops.
02:08:40.000 We've called them on you.
02:08:41.000 We've decided you're a little too divisive for Trump's America.
02:08:45.000 Speaking of the cops, there is a story going on right now you guys might be interested in.
02:08:48.000 Remember the shooting of Walter Scott was his name where the gun was planted on the ground by the cop after he was shot in the back?
02:08:55.000 You look like a guy who has to pee.
02:08:57.000 You okay?
02:08:57.000 No, I'll be alright.
02:08:58.000 No, just ears are hurting.
02:09:01.000 The case is going on right now and I guess they almost have a hung jury.
02:09:05.000 Like, it's...
02:09:06.000 The judge is telling them to go back and deliberate and figure out how they can handle it, but they're trying to get out of it.
02:09:11.000 So this is the one where the guy shot the guy as he was running away and then threw a gun on the ground.
02:09:15.000 And you can see it clearly.
02:09:17.000 And there, like, 55 witnesses gave testimony in the case.
02:09:22.000 What is there to deliberate on?
02:09:25.000 We'll find out shortly.
02:09:26.000 They fucking shot the guy in the back.
02:09:28.000 We watched it on video.
02:09:29.000 And not only that, planted a gun.
02:09:31.000 And then dropped the gun.
02:09:33.000 Yeah.
02:09:34.000 Scary.
02:09:36.000 Dude, that's the thing.
02:09:38.000 If the cops want us to respect them, they've got to go after bad cops.
02:09:41.000 They never fucking do it.
02:09:42.000 All these guys get off.
02:09:43.000 Yeah, they have this...
02:09:44.000 Well, I mean, some cops they go after, like that one woman who shot that guy.
02:09:49.000 Remember, he got tasered, then she shot him on the highway.
02:09:53.000 He turned around, he wasn't listening to them.
02:09:55.000 He went and got back into his car.
02:09:56.000 They said he was on PCP. Oh, yeah, yeah.
02:09:58.000 Remember that?
02:09:58.000 Yeah.
02:09:59.000 What I had heard from someone in the tactical community was that she made the gigantic error of keeping her finger on the trigger and that she wasn't doing anything.
02:10:08.000 You're supposed to have total finger off the trigger because when the guy got tasered by the other gentleman, the other cop, she reacted to it and pulled the trigger.
02:10:19.000 This guy in the tactical community said it happens all the time.
02:10:22.000 He said that's why you have to have trigger control because you don't even realize you're doing it because you're reacting to a violent moment.
02:10:29.000 It's just your muscles crunching up.
02:10:30.000 You have your finger on the trigger and then something violent happens and you just do that and you shoot him.
02:10:35.000 And that's what happened according to him.
02:10:37.000 Yeah.
02:10:37.000 I don't know if that's true.
02:10:38.000 Yeah.
02:10:39.000 But I could totally see that.
02:10:40.000 I could see that, yeah.
02:10:41.000 Dude, fuck that job, Lee Kemp.
02:10:42.000 Right?
02:10:43.000 I think they're told that guns are...
02:10:47.000 that pulling out the gun is gonna solve the situation usually, and it's fucking...
02:10:52.000 it makes it worse half the time.
02:10:54.000 Half the time.
02:10:56.000 What about the other times?
02:10:57.000 Perfect?
02:10:58.000 The other half?
02:10:59.000 Fucking yeah, shoot away.
02:11:01.000 Bang, bang, bang.
02:11:02.000 It's like you leave it up to them to decide when's when.
02:11:05.000 When you do your show on RT, do they have guidelines for you?
02:11:11.000 How much control do you have over what kind of stuff you do?
02:11:14.000 A producer do you have to work with?
02:11:16.000 No, we have a meeting with the news director once a week, but I write all my own stuff, and it's really pretty cool.
02:11:24.000 That's crazy, man.
02:11:25.000 What other network could give you that kind of...
02:11:28.000 Freedom.
02:11:28.000 And here's the thing, though, is, you know, I just figure, like, the one thing I actually do just kind of avoid intentionally is saying nice things about Russia, because I know everyone's going to think I was put up to it.
02:11:41.000 Right.
02:11:42.000 And I haven't been, but I just know that's what people would accuse me of.
02:11:47.000 Do you find it amazing, when you look around at 2016, that there is a country like Korea?
02:11:53.000 Where you're completely divided, and one side is kind of American-like.
02:11:59.000 One side's South Korea, and then the other side is an insane dictatorship.
02:12:05.000 And they live right next door, and they look alike, and they were once one country.
02:12:11.000 And this is how it could go bad, and this is how it can go good.
02:12:15.000 I think it's a...
02:12:17.000 Fucking major problem in the way we discuss these things, the way we talk to each other, the way we view the world, that we start to think of people as their leader.
02:12:24.000 People thought all Americans were George Bush.
02:12:26.000 People think all Russians are Putin.
02:12:28.000 It's like...
02:12:30.000 It's the leaders that are fucking crazy.
02:12:32.000 Yeah.
02:12:32.000 It's like, if you go fucking chat with a Russian guy, you're gonna love the dude.
02:12:37.000 Like, probably.
02:12:37.000 Like, who knows?
02:12:39.000 It's like, everybody around the world, we're not our leaders.
02:12:41.000 We're not, you know, the Brits aren't their crazy leader, and the Australians aren't their crazy leader, and it's like, people are their own people.
02:12:50.000 Like, Yeah, that's one of the reasons why having a president in the first place is kind of ridiculous.
02:12:56.000 Having one alpha person, male or female, running the whole show is a figurehead.
02:13:02.000 It's kind of preposterous.
02:13:04.000 It's bizarre that we still do it, but it's even more bizarre that someone can still pull off a dictatorship.
02:13:14.000 How does Korea end?
02:13:16.000 That's the big one.
02:13:17.000 How does North Korea end?
02:13:18.000 How does that ever resolve itself?
02:13:22.000 I have no idea.
02:13:23.000 They're so deep in 2016, so locked in.
02:13:28.000 Yep.
02:13:29.000 People don't want to think that it could ever happen here.
02:13:32.000 It might not.
02:13:33.000 It absolutely could happen.
02:13:35.000 And the other thing is, in a certain way, it's the best kind of slavery is where you don't know you're a slave.
02:13:41.000 So if you spend your whole life trying to work off student debt and jobs you hate, it's the best kind of slave you don't know you're a slave.
02:13:48.000 Cut to headline says, Lee Camp says, Korea is better than America.
02:13:53.000 No, I am not saying that.
02:13:55.000 Korea's fucking awful.
02:13:57.000 Jesus.
02:13:59.000 Lee Camp points to different type of slavery that makes America worse.
02:14:04.000 America's worse than everywhere.
02:14:06.000 No.
02:14:07.000 But it's...
02:14:08.000 God, Korea's the worst.
02:14:10.000 Well, Russia's a little spooky.
02:14:13.000 Putin's a little spooky.
02:14:16.000 Dude's jacking people.
02:14:19.000 Dude's jacking people.
02:14:20.000 He's a gangster.
02:14:21.000 I mean, allegedly.
02:14:23.000 We're blowing people up.
02:14:24.000 Yeah, we're doing that too.
02:14:27.000 I don't know.
02:14:28.000 I don't know either.
02:14:29.000 I just know you can't talk about it probably right now.
02:14:31.000 I made you uncomfortable.
02:14:33.000 Should've talked about something better.
02:14:35.000 China.
02:14:35.000 China's fucked up, right bro?
02:14:38.000 What's that?
02:14:38.000 I said China's fucked up, right, bro?
02:14:40.000 I don't know much about China either.
02:14:41.000 I don't either.
02:14:41.000 That's a problem.
02:14:43.000 It's just amazing how...
02:14:45.000 I couldn't even tell you...
02:14:46.000 I shouldn't admit this.
02:14:48.000 I couldn't even tell you China's leader right now.
02:14:50.000 They have a leader?
02:14:52.000 China's president.
02:14:53.000 Would you think it would be a president or would it be an emperor?
02:14:57.000 No, they don't have an emperor anymore.
02:14:58.000 No, it's a president, but I don't know his name.
02:15:01.000 Well, what does Canada have again?
02:15:03.000 They have a...
02:15:05.000 What do they have?
02:15:06.000 Prime Minister.
02:15:08.000 See, that's so fucking high and tauty.
02:15:11.000 Trudeau.
02:15:12.000 Yeah.
02:15:13.000 That's the dude.
02:15:13.000 China, president.
02:15:14.000 Xi Jinping.
02:15:15.000 Is that how you say it?
02:15:16.000 Xi?
02:15:16.000 Xi Jinping?
02:15:17.000 I think it's Xi.
02:15:18.000 Look at him.
02:15:18.000 He looks trustworthy.
02:15:19.000 I like him.
02:15:20.000 I like what he's doing.
02:15:21.000 He's smiling.
02:15:21.000 He's smiling there.
02:15:22.000 Doing a good job over there.
02:15:23.000 Imagine running a billion people.
02:15:26.000 Fuck.
02:15:28.000 That's a crazy country, man.
02:15:30.000 Have you seen the cities?
02:15:30.000 Have you been to China?
02:15:31.000 No, I have not.
02:15:32.000 Have you seen the cities that they recreate in China?
02:15:35.000 Well, the ghost cities.
02:15:37.000 Oh, and the recreate.
02:15:38.000 Yeah, these are two separate things.
02:15:39.000 But yeah, they recreate where it's just like Paris, right?
02:15:41.000 Yeah.
02:15:42.000 People just go there for a honeymoon and everything's empty.
02:15:45.000 It's nuts.
02:15:46.000 They recreate the whole city!
02:15:48.000 It's nuts!
02:15:49.000 And part of the reason they do that is because they have these ghost cities, and it's because GDP measures production, partially, and so to keep their GDP up, they just build ghost cities.
02:15:58.000 Fucking no one lives there.
02:16:00.000 That's so crazy.
02:16:01.000 It's nuts.
02:16:01.000 Vice did a thing on it.
02:16:03.000 Now, as a comic who also has a show, and you're this sort of observer of the world, do you have to look at the world more than you would like?
02:16:13.000 Do I have to look at the world?
02:16:15.000 Well...
02:16:15.000 Like all the crazy chaos that you have to kind of focus on, when you're doing a show and doing stand-up.
02:16:19.000 I view my...
02:16:21.000 Like, because I'm...
02:16:22.000 I've always focused on America, just simply because I'm an American in America, talking about American issues, and I don't, honestly, I'm not educated well on world issues.
02:16:31.000 Like I said, I couldn't tell you certain leaders of countries.
02:16:33.000 And so to me, it comes from a place of ignorance.
02:16:35.000 It's like...
02:16:37.000 I don't know if I want to rant and rave about something I don't know the truth about.
02:16:41.000 And so I definitely stick to the American issues.
02:16:43.000 But in terms of having to focus on the chaos, dude, it can get depressing to focus on all the chaos, to focus on the fucking protesters being brutalized in Standing Rock.
02:16:50.000 It gets fucking exhausting.
02:16:51.000 Do you throw in the occasional cute kitten story to make things better?
02:16:56.000 Oh yeah, of course.
02:16:57.000 What can you do?
02:16:57.000 You gotta throw in kittens.
02:16:58.000 Isn't that a weird thing about the news, though?
02:17:00.000 I did one where I literally just showed puppy dogs over my shoulder as I talked about it, just to chill people out.
02:17:07.000 Do you feel a responsibility to chill people off?
02:17:09.000 All of a sudden, this has become an interview.
02:17:11.000 I try not to do those.
02:17:12.000 But I am curious about what it's like to put together a show like yours.
02:17:15.000 Yeah, every week.
02:17:16.000 Every week.
02:17:17.000 Do you feel any sort of responsibility for your content?
02:17:20.000 Do you have a platform?
02:17:22.000 I feel a responsibility to not be too depressing, but not per story.
02:17:26.000 So, like, I'll cover fucking depressing shit, but I do feel a responsibility, like, in the sense of I don't think people are going to keep watching, nor will they feel active to create change if they're just like, ah, it's all fucked, fuck it.
02:17:38.000 Right.
02:17:39.000 Like, so I do try not to get too much on that side of things.
02:17:43.000 That's a logical but super depressing perspective that it's all fucked, fuck it.
02:17:49.000 That's logical.
02:17:50.000 I get it.
02:17:51.000 I know why you would think that way, but god damn.
02:17:53.000 Oh, I think there's a lot of people that think that way.
02:17:55.000 Sure.
02:17:56.000 That give up.
02:17:57.000 They just decided I'm not voting.
02:17:59.000 There's a guy that I really respect.
02:18:00.000 He's got this Psychedelic Salon podcast.
02:18:03.000 His name is Lorenzo.
02:18:05.000 He's been on this podcast before.
02:18:06.000 Really interesting guy.
02:18:07.000 He runs this amazing podcast that has all these psychedelic speakers like Terrence McKenna and Alan Watts and all these really interesting people with audio recordings of them giving lectures and stuff.
02:18:19.000 Timothy Leary.
02:18:20.000 And he went on this rant.
02:18:22.000 He's like, I don't buy into any of it anymore and I'm tired of it.
02:18:27.000 I'm not doing it.
02:18:28.000 He's like, I'm tired of being disappointed.
02:18:30.000 I'm going to live my life and I'm not voting anymore.
02:18:33.000 And part of you goes, oh man, you're part of the problem.
02:18:37.000 But part of you goes, hey man, that's your right.
02:18:39.000 I get it.
02:18:40.000 You just want to live.
02:18:42.000 Well, and especially with people, like you said earlier, you know, working three jobs trying to feed the fucking family.
02:18:47.000 It's like, of course they don't have time to give a shit about five states over.
02:18:51.000 These people are being brutalized.
02:18:53.000 Yeah, it's too hard.
02:18:55.000 It's too hard to think about those people in North Dakota.
02:18:56.000 You don't know them.
02:18:58.000 But we have also created a culture that is distinctly good at getting people to ignore what really matters.
02:19:07.000 We're just under a swamp of bullshit to actually pay attention to important stories.
02:19:16.000 Do you think that that is by design?
02:19:19.000 Or do you think that that is just what we're paying attention to?
02:19:23.000 Like we pay attention to nonsense, celebrity gossip stuff, like Brad Pitt and Angelina getting divorced?
02:19:28.000 I think it's a combination of by design and just what gets ratings.
02:19:32.000 You're going to get more ratings by covering Trump, let's say, or his Twitter war than you are going to get with the details of how these people are having a really hard time because they were kicked out of their home by the banks or whatever.
02:19:46.000 So, part of it is ratings, but part of it is by design.
02:19:48.000 I mean, the fact that Occupy got very little mainstream media coverage was by design.
02:19:53.000 It was like, if we cover this as an important thing, it's gonna grow bigger.
02:19:57.000 And we're gonna fuel it.
02:20:00.000 Yeah, no shit, man.
02:20:03.000 Yeah, it's...
02:20:04.000 Mmm.
02:20:06.000 It's interesting because the things that we do get obsessed with that are ridiculous, that take up so much of our time, that really mean nothing, you know, when you look at all the stuff that we do ignore, you know, like the guy that got iced that was under FBI care,
02:20:22.000 that never gets talked about, whether or not you agree with whether you should have shot him or not.
02:20:27.000 Right.
02:20:27.000 You're allowed to execute people now?
02:20:29.000 Right.
02:20:29.000 Is that what's going on?
02:20:30.000 Right.
02:20:30.000 That might be a big issue.
02:20:31.000 We should probably discuss it.
02:20:32.000 Right.
02:20:34.000 That's just one, right?
02:20:35.000 There's a million different stories.
02:20:36.000 It's amazing that the Standing Rock stories become as big as it is, really.
02:20:39.000 That and Bernie Sanders and Black Lives Matter, it's like, the only reason, and you know, I'm not saying everybody's gotta love Bernie or agree with all that shit, but I'm saying the fact that those got as big as they are, it's all because of citizen journalism and social media and all that stuff.
02:20:57.000 The internet.
02:20:58.000 The ability to make your own news site.
02:21:00.000 I mean, news sites, all you need is a website.
02:21:03.000 The gatekeepers are gone.
02:21:05.000 Yeah.
02:21:06.000 Not only are they gone, but the amount of people that pay attention to certain alternative media sources far exceeds what you get in a daily episode of The Bill O'Reilly Show.
02:21:16.000 How many millions of people do you think listen to Bill O'Reilly?
02:21:18.000 Oh, Jesus.
02:21:19.000 I don't even want to know.
02:21:20.000 I would like to know.
02:21:22.000 What do you think?
02:21:23.000 It's going to make me sad.
02:21:25.000 I might have been off by saying him.
02:21:27.000 Does he get 2 million viewers a show?
02:21:29.000 Do you think he gets 2 million viewers a show, Jamie?
02:21:34.000 Let's see.
02:21:35.000 I say yes.
02:21:37.000 I say he gets more than 2 million a show.
02:21:40.000 That's kind of confidence I have.
02:21:41.000 How much are we betting?
02:21:42.000 2.2.
02:21:43.000 How much are we betting?
02:21:44.000 I'll bet you five American dollars.
02:21:46.000 Did you hear about the vegan five dollar thing in England?
02:21:50.000 They came out with a new bank note and it's using animal fat.
02:21:53.000 Vegans are freaking out and demanding a vegan note.
02:21:57.000 You know what?
02:21:57.000 They got a good point.
02:21:59.000 I talked about this in my stand-up last night.
02:22:00.000 A lot of dryer sheets have animal fat on them.
02:22:03.000 And so if you're a vegan, that's fucking not cool.
02:22:05.000 Oh my god.
02:22:06.000 The dryer sheets?
02:22:07.000 Those fucking cling-free ones that make you smell so good?
02:22:09.000 Snuggles is a psychopath.
02:22:11.000 That's crazy.
02:22:12.000 It's got rendered up beings inside of it.
02:22:16.000 What did we find out on Bill O'Reilly?
02:22:19.000 Uh, article from earlier this year says he averaged about 3 million.
02:22:23.000 Thank you.
02:22:24.000 Oh!
02:22:24.000 Thank you.
02:22:25.000 Thank you.
02:22:26.000 Bunch of scared old people.
02:22:29.000 Look out for Mexicans!
02:22:31.000 Just yelling at the screen.
02:22:33.000 They're rapists!
02:22:35.000 Wonder what the age of the people that watch the show is.
02:22:37.000 Yeah, no, it's like 50. It's like, yeah.
02:22:40.000 Okay, let's get really crazy.
02:22:42.000 What's the percentage of them are white?
02:22:45.000 Do you think they're going to tell us that?
02:22:47.000 All of them, 100%.
02:22:48.000 They go through the entire United States.
02:22:50.000 There's not a single black guy.
02:22:51.000 Like, we heard about a guy in Virginia.
02:22:53.000 Quick, let's go!
02:22:54.000 Before he shuts it off, they fucking take it to the guy's house.
02:22:57.000 There's always one nutty Ben Carson out there.
02:22:59.000 You're right.
02:23:01.000 There's always that guy.
02:23:02.000 You're right.
02:23:03.000 You're right.
02:23:04.000 This is a black duck hunter.
02:23:07.000 They're out there.
02:23:08.000 They're fucking out there.
02:23:10.000 You're so right.
02:23:11.000 Dude, Clarence Thomas hates black people.
02:23:13.000 You think so?
02:23:14.000 Hates them.
02:23:15.000 Wow, that's a big statement, sir.
02:23:16.000 He's a Supreme Court justice.
02:23:18.000 Yeah, I know.
02:23:18.000 And no one rules in ways that are going to harm black people more than Clarence Thomas.
02:23:25.000 Does he really?
02:23:25.000 Yeah, he hates them.
02:23:27.000 And his wife is, you know, he's never said he hates them, but his wife is, she's one of the heads or head speakers of the Tea Party.
02:23:35.000 There's still a Tea Party?
02:23:37.000 The tea party certainly fizzled out when Sarah Palin joined up.
02:23:40.000 They're like, ah, shit.
02:23:41.000 It's like having an open party and that crazy drunk from down the street comes in with a gun like, woo, America, right?
02:23:48.000 Like, alright, I'm going home.
02:23:50.000 Time to end the party.
02:23:51.000 Wait, is there furniture made out of survival food?
02:23:53.000 I gotta go.
02:23:55.000 I gotta go.
02:23:56.000 The Jim Baker survival foods.
02:24:02.000 I'd love to see the first time he presented that.
02:24:04.000 Listen, things get bad, we start eating the furniture.
02:24:07.000 I'd like to see how they decided to sell it that way.
02:24:10.000 They said, well, what are people going to do with all these gyms?
02:24:13.000 They've got these big barrels.
02:24:15.000 You're selling a lot of barrels.
02:24:17.000 What are they going to do with these barrels?
02:24:19.000 Well, they'll just put it under the table.
02:24:22.000 Where are your feet gonna go, Jim?
02:24:24.000 You're gonna eat from a fucking distance away from the table, you goddamn con man!
02:24:30.000 Jessica Hahn was right!
02:24:31.000 Where are people gonna get planks of wood to go on top of such a size?
02:24:35.000 It's the King Arthur's Round Table of survival food.
02:24:39.000 Are you a fan of the glorious stand-up days in the 1980s, like the Kinison era?
02:24:44.000 Dude, I'm sad.
02:24:45.000 When did you start saying it?
02:24:47.000 88. Yeah, I'm sad I missed it.
02:24:49.000 Well, I missed...
02:24:51.000 I mean, I was kind of an open-miker in the 80s.
02:24:53.000 I missed it, for the most part, but I was a fan.
02:24:56.000 But that was back when Jim Baker had that gigantic scandal, because he was this big online minister guy, and he was banging his secretary.
02:25:03.000 Yeah, Playboy.
02:25:04.000 It was Jessica Hahn.
02:25:05.000 Playboy revealed it.
02:25:06.000 Yeah, and Kenison started banging her.
02:25:09.000 What?
02:25:10.000 Yes.
02:25:11.000 After she left...
02:25:13.000 Did she know him from his pastor days?
02:25:15.000 I do not think so.
02:25:16.000 I think he just zoomed in.
02:25:18.000 He was attracted to this.
02:25:19.000 He knew those nutty Christian swinger types.
02:25:22.000 He's like, I know them.
02:25:23.000 I've been around them.
02:25:25.000 That was a bad Kenneth's impression, by the way.
02:25:27.000 And so he started banging her.
02:25:29.000 She got fake boobies.
02:25:30.000 She posed for one of them.
02:25:32.000 Penthouse or something.
02:25:34.000 One of the magazines.
02:25:34.000 Playboy.
02:25:35.000 Good old days.
02:25:36.000 Those days were nuts.
02:25:38.000 Just amazing to see Jim Baker still out there rocking it.
02:25:41.000 Kenison's long gone, but...
02:25:43.000 Kenison's dead as fuck.
02:25:44.000 Baker's hanging in there.
02:25:45.000 Baker's selling food and furniture mixed together.
02:25:48.000 Eat your couch!
02:25:49.000 We'll be right back!
02:25:50.000 Praise Jesus!
02:25:51.000 Fill your couch cushion with steaks.
02:25:55.000 Enchiladas!
02:25:55.000 There's like a scene in that video where he has this girl.
02:25:58.000 He's like, you got some Mexican blood and you tell me about these enchiladas.
02:26:01.000 What?
02:26:01.000 I'm not kidding.
02:26:02.000 She's eating this enchilada and it looks like a tampon from a zoo animal.
02:26:07.000 That's what it looks like.
02:26:08.000 She's about to cut into this fucking thing.
02:26:11.000 It doesn't look anything remotely appetizing.
02:26:13.000 It's a survival enchilada?
02:26:14.000 Survival enchilada.
02:26:16.000 And he's talking to her.
02:26:17.000 He's like, you got some Mexican blood, don't you?
02:26:19.000 Ugh.
02:26:21.000 God.
02:26:21.000 That super deluxe guy who put that video together, he's a beauty.
02:26:25.000 He's a beauty.
02:26:26.000 He's a gift.
02:26:27.000 A gift to all of us here on this planet.
02:26:29.000 It's a fucking hilarious video because he just found the most preposterous scenes and edited them in an amazing way where he closes in on his face when he says, like, really nutty shit.
02:26:42.000 That guy's still rocking it, man.
02:26:45.000 Still got people in the audience.
02:26:47.000 Still got people in the audience.
02:26:49.000 They're all brain dead, one eye bigger than the other.
02:26:51.000 But they're not even just watching at home.
02:26:53.000 There's people that are there.
02:26:54.000 Well, I'll make it out to the studio.
02:26:56.000 Jim's going to give a sermon today about survival furniture.
02:27:00.000 Please tell me that studio has a warm-up comic beforehand.
02:27:03.000 Hey, ladies and gentlemen!
02:27:05.000 We're going to need you to really give it up here.
02:27:08.000 Have you ever seen one of those guys that does Christian church comedy?
02:27:12.000 Have you ever seen that?
02:27:13.000 Oh, no, but I've heard about it.
02:27:15.000 It's a big thing.
02:27:16.000 I've never watched it.
02:27:16.000 They do enormous venues.
02:27:19.000 Enormous.
02:27:19.000 25,000 seat venues.
02:27:21.000 And they do church comedy.
02:27:23.000 And I'm not kidding.
02:27:24.000 They have stand-up comics that do clean Christian comedy and they only perform at these church gatherings.
02:27:29.000 God, kill yourself.
02:27:30.000 Well, it's a totally different sort of a vibe.
02:27:33.000 It's like this agreed upon note that you're going to hit.
02:27:36.000 It's like if you were an opera singer.
02:27:37.000 It's like, what, we can't play rap?
02:27:39.000 No, no, we do opera.
02:27:40.000 All right.
02:27:41.000 But that's what they're doing.
02:27:42.000 They're doing like a form of opera.
02:27:43.000 I understand that for you or for me, that would be a horrific proposition.
02:27:48.000 But for someone who enjoys that tone, like they hit that fucking Amos and Andy, you know, Andy Griffith fucking...
02:27:56.000 Hey, and there's someone that enjoys scooping up the shit behind the elephants at the circus.
02:28:00.000 Yeah, look at this guy.
02:28:01.000 It's a job for everybody.
02:28:01.000 This guy's doing Jesus comedy.
02:28:03.000 Wait, this is the...
02:28:07.000 Oh, that's the guy with the TV show, right?
02:28:09.000 The Browns.
02:28:10.000 Yeah.
02:28:10.000 Oh, that's the guy who has the big hot dog rolls in the back of his head.
02:28:14.000 Hot dog rolls.
02:28:15.000 The back of his neck looks like hot dog rolls.
02:28:18.000 That's a pastor.
02:28:19.000 Yeah, that's Mr. Brown.
02:28:20.000 Oh, I didn't know.
02:28:21.000 I always wondered where that family sitcom thing came from.
02:28:24.000 That does look like stand-up.
02:28:25.000 Let me hear some of this.
02:28:26.000 Let me hear if it sounds like stand-up.
02:28:28.000 Oh, no.
02:28:29.000 What is this?
02:28:31.000 Yeah, he's doing stand-up.
02:28:35.000 And I know y'all pastor don't do this, but sometimes my pastor starts preaching and I can't understand what he's saying.
02:28:44.000 He'll get to preaching and he'll start...
02:28:46.000 What's that?
02:28:48.000 Oh, he's doing stand-up, 100%.
02:28:50.000 People are laughing.
02:28:53.000 You need to spit.
02:28:56.000 Oh my goodness.
02:28:57.000 No, he did not.
02:28:58.000 And they're bobbing up and down, forward and back.
02:29:00.000 It's just, that's another thing.
02:29:02.000 Like, it's this agreed upon tune.
02:29:04.000 You know, this agreed upon sort of frequency.
02:29:09.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:29:09.000 No, yeah, you gotta hit in these certain notes.
02:29:12.000 And, you know, we all agree that we're going to, you know...
02:29:16.000 Yeah, I mean, that's the whole thing about being a gentleman, right?
02:29:18.000 Not curse.
02:29:19.000 Yep.
02:29:20.000 When you're wearing a tie and a suit and nice clothes like that, I expect you to understand a certain etiquette.
02:29:28.000 You're not a ragabond.
02:29:30.000 You're not a savage.
02:29:31.000 You're not some sort of hooligan.
02:29:32.000 You know, you're not some dude with fucking high-top Converse on and ripped jeans and fucking dirty shirt.
02:29:38.000 No, you're dressed in a way that I could predict your behavior.
02:29:41.000 Well, we do the same with a flea of tattoos, right?
02:29:44.000 Yeah, for sure.
02:29:45.000 A lot of people think they can predict you.
02:29:47.000 Or a pocket watch.
02:29:48.000 I have a pocket watch.
02:29:49.000 But with a chain?
02:29:50.000 Yeah.
02:29:50.000 From a vest?
02:29:51.000 Well, right now I have it hanging out in my pocket.
02:29:53.000 Do you really?
02:29:53.000 Let me see your pocket watch.
02:29:54.000 I was talking the other day about everyone with a pocket watch is an asshole.
02:29:56.000 I'm going to have to amend that.
02:29:57.000 I'm an asshole.
02:29:58.000 I like you.
02:29:58.000 I'm an asshole.
02:29:59.000 Come on, you're not an asshole.
02:30:00.000 You're a nice guy.
02:30:01.000 Let me see your pocket watch.
02:30:03.000 Because we looked up one that cost, like, how many millions of dollars?
02:30:07.000 Oh, no, this is like, this is $35.
02:30:09.000 But it was from, like, the 70s.
02:30:11.000 Dude, this is dope.
02:30:12.000 All right, change it.
02:30:13.000 I'm getting a pocket watch.
02:30:14.000 We're going the other way.
02:30:15.000 I'm not married to my thoughts, folks, okay?
02:30:17.000 You shouldn't be either.
02:30:18.000 He doesn't even stick to his beliefs on pocket watches.
02:30:20.000 This is dope.
02:30:21.000 This really is dope.
02:30:22.000 I love it.
02:30:23.000 Man, that's really cool.
02:30:25.000 I mean, obviously, I just have it for fun.
02:30:27.000 Yeah, but it's fucking cool.
02:30:28.000 It's not right at all.
02:30:30.000 No.
02:30:31.000 Because you've got to keep winding it.
02:30:32.000 Oh, that's weird.
02:30:33.000 I forget to wind it.
02:30:34.000 How often do you have to wind it?
02:30:36.000 Like several hours.
02:30:39.000 What?
02:30:40.000 Every few hours?
02:30:41.000 Oh, that's so stupid.
02:30:42.000 Why'd you buy a cheap one?
02:30:43.000 Why didn't you buy one that actually works?
02:30:46.000 Do you want people to know?
02:30:47.000 Look, man.
02:30:48.000 It works.
02:30:49.000 It works.
02:30:50.000 I'm a Mumford and Sons video walking around.
02:30:54.000 Mumford and Sons video.
02:30:56.000 I'm a walking, living, breathing Mumford and Son song.
02:30:59.000 So the key is you can only have one of these things.
02:31:01.000 Like, if I had the curly mustache too, then you can't have the pocket watch and the curly mustache.
02:31:05.000 Right.
02:31:05.000 I couldn't have this pocket watch in your hat right now.
02:31:07.000 Right, right.
02:31:07.000 In a vest.
02:31:08.000 Yeah.
02:31:09.000 I'm talking shit about it.
02:31:10.000 I'm wearing, like Bill Burr says, a little rascal's hat.
02:31:13.000 And I have a fanny pack that's real 100% legit.
02:31:16.000 Little rascal's hat.
02:31:18.000 I'm a little upset at Apple that I had to buy this new little thing that allows me to charge my phone and play music with an actual set of fucking headphones instead of their bullshit proprietary crap.
02:31:32.000 Now I got it.
02:31:33.000 I got it set up.
02:31:34.000 Jesus.
02:31:35.000 So that's your fanny packs filled with those devices?
02:31:37.000 And weed and Fear Factor money.
02:31:40.000 And Fear Factor money.
02:31:43.000 It's just filled with Fear Factor money.
02:31:45.000 I just carry on a knot to comfort me.
02:31:47.000 Yeah, I did it, but look!
02:31:48.000 Look what I got out of it, you fuck!
02:31:50.000 Shut up, you would've done it too.
02:31:51.000 How much of doing that show was fun?
02:31:54.000 Well, I was high every episode.
02:31:56.000 So there's always fun things every day.
02:31:58.000 And I worked with people that I really loved.
02:32:00.000 They were really nice people.
02:32:01.000 So you're having a good time.
02:32:02.000 I had a great time.
02:32:03.000 Because the people that I work with, like all the guys behind the scenes, super, super nice guys.
02:32:07.000 And I'm still friends with to this day.
02:32:08.000 So there was a lot of fun involved.
02:32:10.000 But it wasn't what I wanted to do.
02:32:12.000 It was just money.
02:32:12.000 So it was moments where it was hilarious.
02:32:15.000 And there's moments where I was really touched.
02:32:17.000 I cried once when this mom and daughter team won.
02:32:23.000 There was a son and father team versus a mother-daughter team, and the son and father team were kind of douchey, and the mother and daughter team were kind of sweet, and then you looked at them, and this was a physical stunt, and the father was kind of in shape, and the kid looked like he was kind of in shape, and you're like, God damn it,
02:32:38.000 these girls, the mom and the daughter, are going to lose.
02:32:41.000 Right.
02:32:42.000 And they really needed the money, and the son was kind of insulting.
02:32:46.000 You know, people play the game.
02:32:48.000 It's part of it.
02:32:48.000 They're encouraged to be insulting.
02:32:50.000 But he fucked up.
02:32:52.000 And then the mom and daughter won.
02:32:54.000 Wow.
02:32:55.000 And when they won, like, the whole crew was crying.
02:32:58.000 Camera people were crying.
02:33:00.000 They're like, oh.
02:33:01.000 So it actually got real.
02:33:02.000 Oh, yeah, because they were crying.
02:33:04.000 You know, because, like, oh, my God.
02:33:06.000 We won all this fucking money.
02:33:07.000 We did it.
02:33:08.000 Against the odds.
02:33:09.000 That's cool.
02:33:10.000 Yeah.
02:33:10.000 So...
02:33:11.000 Those moments were nice.
02:33:12.000 Yeah, I saw you years ago doing stand-up.
02:33:15.000 It was probably when Fear Factor had come back the second time or something.
02:33:18.000 2011-ish.
02:33:19.000 Yeah, and I just stopped by Comedy Store and was watching it.
02:33:22.000 It was fucking hilarious because he did a bit on like, hey, listen, I know.
02:33:26.000 If you'd said to me, would you be on TV daring someone to eat a bull penis?
02:33:31.000 Yeah.
02:33:32.000 I would have said, no, I have no idea what you're talking about.
02:33:34.000 Yeah, how is it even possible?
02:33:36.000 The joke was that I'm on TV and someone's eating an animal dick.
02:33:42.000 And I'm like, hey, you can do more.
02:33:45.000 You can get more in there.
02:33:48.000 And the people running the show are like, good job.
02:33:52.000 That was great.
02:33:53.000 The more dick they eat, the better.
02:33:57.000 It was really weird.
02:33:58.000 I mean, we really did serve people animal dicks.
02:34:00.000 Yeah.
02:34:01.000 We served elk dick, bull dick, a couple different types of dicks.
02:34:06.000 Who was the intern in charge of collecting the dicks?
02:34:08.000 Well, it wasn't an intern.
02:34:09.000 It was a bee stunt guy.
02:34:11.000 There was a couple different ones, but Josh Silberman was one of the guys who did it towards the end, and he was awesome at it.
02:34:17.000 He knew his fucking craft.
02:34:19.000 That guy knew how to get the most disgusting stuff.
02:34:23.000 They all have a twisted sense of humor, too.
02:34:25.000 They all have this very bizarre, like, realization of what they're doing, how preposterous it is.
02:34:32.000 You know, you're making people bob for cow hearts in a vat of blood.
02:34:38.000 Like, that was one of them.
02:34:39.000 These people had to bob.
02:34:40.000 Oh, wow.
02:34:40.000 So they go into, like, a writer's room.
02:34:42.000 They're like, what's the grossest thing we can come up with?
02:34:44.000 Yeah.
02:34:46.000 Some of the stuff was insane.
02:34:48.000 That's nuts.
02:34:48.000 We went to a slaughterhouse once.
02:34:50.000 That was one of the first times that I ever believed.
02:34:52.000 Like, when we went to the slaughterhouse, I was like, I really do believe that places hold a feeling.
02:34:58.000 You know?
02:34:59.000 Like, I had never been to a place where, like, who knows how many thousands of animals have died.
02:35:05.000 Right.
02:35:05.000 If not, maybe a million.
02:35:06.000 Right.
02:35:06.000 Maybe even more.
02:35:07.000 I don't know how long it had been around for.
02:35:09.000 But it was, like, a legit, big-time slaughterhouse.
02:35:12.000 Was there slaughtering going on?
02:35:14.000 Not what that we saw...
02:35:15.000 But very recently because we had to do this scene with blood and when you have blood you have to keep it very cold and you can only keep it that way for a short amount of time because it could get go bad You can get sick from it because these people have to dunk their head into this stuff So they have goggles on and they have to dunk their head in and they're bobbing in this freezing cold blood So your body doesn't want to do it,
02:35:38.000 because it's so goddamn cold.
02:35:39.000 I can't imagine the number of lawyers involved in all this.
02:35:41.000 Dude, so while this is going on, there's a guy who's about to do the show, and he's outside, and he's talking to himself in the side mirror of a truck.
02:35:48.000 He's got one of those side mirrors of the truck, and it's not his truck, but he's the competitor, so he's like, you found a mirror, and he's like, you are a winner.
02:35:55.000 You are not a loser.
02:35:56.000 You will succeed.
02:35:58.000 You will follow through.
02:35:59.000 You will get it done.
02:36:01.000 And he's doing all this pep-up stuff, and he's doing little sprints up and down the driveway.
02:36:04.000 It's the same thing Ted Cruz's kids say to themselves before they talk to him.
02:36:08.000 Probably.
02:36:09.000 You will follow through.
02:36:10.000 You can talk to him.
02:36:11.000 You will get it done.
02:36:12.000 You will talk to Dad.
02:36:14.000 Dad, I'm gay.
02:36:15.000 Ha!
02:36:16.000 No!
02:36:19.000 Anything else, Lee Camp?
02:36:21.000 Anything to add?
02:36:22.000 No, that's amazing.
02:36:23.000 I heard something about This American Life went into a slaughterhouse, like a pig slaughterhouse, but it was while it was going on.
02:36:30.000 And, like, two of them left, like, mid-segment and went and vomited outside, and then, like, yeah, it's madness.
02:36:40.000 Well, that's one of those things, like many things in our culture, like prisons that we were talking about before, like how did it get to this point?
02:36:46.000 Because we kind of realized it was at this point as adults.
02:36:50.000 I mean, do you remember the day that you became aware of factory farming?
02:36:53.000 You were probably a grown adult.
02:36:55.000 Right.
02:36:55.000 And we habituate to these things.
02:36:57.000 We get used to them.
02:36:58.000 We're just accustomed to so many people being in prison.
02:37:02.000 It just slowly grows and we slowly accept it.
02:37:04.000 We slowly accept the invasion of privacy.
02:37:07.000 It used to be that anyone watching your email, people would talk about it.
02:37:10.000 They were upset.
02:37:11.000 Now it's like everyone assumes.
02:37:13.000 And the same thing can be said about factory farming.
02:37:16.000 The immediate answer is, well, offer an upper solution.
02:37:19.000 There's no solutions.
02:37:20.000 What about the, we need the numbers.
02:37:22.000 We need the numbers of burgers.
02:37:23.000 We need the numbers of chicken.
02:37:25.000 Wow.
02:37:26.000 You know, we've really painted ourselves into a strange corner here.
02:37:31.000 Well, there's no reason that, you know, a hamburger McDonald's should be cheaper than, like, a thing of broccoli at the store.
02:37:36.000 It's like we're just subsidizing this massive meat intake.
02:37:41.000 Yeah.
02:37:42.000 And the corn industry, too.
02:37:43.000 That's another dark one.
02:37:45.000 Three out of every four products in the grocery store have corn in them.
02:37:48.000 Jesus Christ.
02:37:48.000 We're basically just 90% corn now.
02:37:50.000 Yeah, I saw that documentary, King Corn, have you seen that?
02:37:53.000 No.
02:37:53.000 They test their DNA? Yeah.
02:37:55.000 Yeah, they test the carbon in their DNA, the carbon in their fucking very virtual being, and it's like predominantly corn.
02:38:03.000 These guys are, they're doing this documentary and they start off growing their own corn.
02:38:08.000 It's really fascinating.
02:38:08.000 It's called King Corn.
02:38:09.000 We're corn with hats on now.
02:38:11.000 A little bit, dude.
02:38:12.000 That sugar.
02:38:13.000 That corn syrup stuff that's in everything.
02:38:15.000 Corn protein.
02:38:16.000 Yeah.
02:38:17.000 But meanwhile, corn on the cob is wonderful.
02:38:19.000 It's delicious.
02:38:19.000 It's like one of those things.
02:38:20.000 It's delicious.
02:38:21.000 A good thing can be bad if there's too much of it.
02:38:25.000 Right?
02:38:26.000 Everything in moderation.
02:38:27.000 Except for moderation.
02:38:28.000 You just try and get all of that you can.
02:38:30.000 We can't, ladies and gentlemen.
02:38:31.000 He's here all week.
02:38:32.000 Dropping it.
02:38:33.000 Dropping the bombs.
02:38:34.000 Truth bombs.
02:38:34.000 Where are you?
02:38:35.000 Where are you doing stand-up where someone can come see you?
02:38:39.000 Oh, I don't know.
02:38:40.000 I'm touring the country, but we do have a live audience for Redacted tonight in D.C. Oh, beautiful.
02:38:45.000 Tonight in D.C., you're flying out.
02:38:47.000 You're a fucking animal, dude.
02:38:48.000 No, not tonight in D.C. You're lying to people.
02:38:51.000 I didn't say tonight.
02:38:52.000 You're a politician.
02:38:52.000 I didn't say tonight.
02:38:53.000 Didn't he say tonight?
02:38:54.000 You did say tonight.
02:38:55.000 Oh, Redacted Tonight.
02:38:56.000 It's the name of the show.
02:38:57.000 Oh!
02:38:58.000 Redacted Tonight.
02:38:58.000 We thought you were saying Redacted.
02:39:00.000 Oh, tonight.
02:39:00.000 Pause.
02:39:01.000 Tonight.
02:39:01.000 Gotcha.
02:39:02.000 No, every week except for this one.
02:39:04.000 Loophole.
02:39:04.000 The guy got away on a loophole.
02:39:06.000 That slippery politician.
02:39:08.000 We have a live audience and people can come if they just, what, email redacted tics at Gmail.
02:39:12.000 So you do everything in...
02:39:13.000 So RT is in DC. That's where RT was too, right?
02:39:17.000 Yeah, RT America's big studios are in DC, yeah.
02:39:20.000 What is DC like these days?
02:39:21.000 What a weird environment that must be.
02:39:23.000 It's a hellhole.
02:39:23.000 It's free weed, though.
02:39:25.000 It's legal, right?
02:39:26.000 Well, it's legal, but you can't be just publicly smoking.
02:39:32.000 What do you have to do?
02:39:32.000 You have to hide?
02:39:33.000 I was talking to someone.
02:39:35.000 I was like, what are the rules?
02:39:36.000 And they were like, oh, you got to go around the corner.
02:39:39.000 The law is you gotta go around the corner?
02:39:41.000 What does that mean?
02:39:43.000 You just can't be out on the sidewalk.
02:39:46.000 If you had to guess, how long before country-wide legalization?
02:39:51.000 Ten years.
02:39:52.000 Maybe less.
02:39:53.000 You think so?
02:39:54.000 Yeah.
02:39:55.000 What makes you think that?
02:39:56.000 Well, the states that have legalized it are doing fine.
02:39:58.000 They're doing better than fine, right?
02:39:59.000 Yeah.
02:40:00.000 And so it's like people realize it's not...
02:40:01.000 You just had to get past this propaganda of it's like, destroys lives, it's scary, it's...
02:40:06.000 And once you...
02:40:07.000 And you're past that.
02:40:08.000 What do you think about that Jeff Sessions guy, though, that Trump brought in?
02:40:12.000 Yeah.
02:40:13.000 That guy is old school anti...
02:40:15.000 He used one of my favorite ones, good people don't smoke marijuana.
02:40:22.000 I'd love to know the list of drugs that Donald Trump has done over the years.
02:40:25.000 Salt Coke.
02:40:26.000 Coke, Coke, Coke, Coke, Adderall, Coke, Coke, Coke, Coke, Coke.
02:40:29.000 Do you think he does drugs?
02:40:30.000 He doesn't drink, apparently.
02:40:30.000 Not anymore, I don't think he does.
02:40:31.000 Apparently he doesn't drink.
02:40:32.000 Not anymore.
02:40:33.000 Remember when they were accusing him on CNN of doing coke?
02:40:36.000 He was potentially doing coke because he was sniffling a lot.
02:40:38.000 Oh, he kept sniffing.
02:40:38.000 Yeah.
02:40:39.000 I think that was just his, like, you know, buffalo brain just...
02:40:46.000 Just a bowl.
02:40:48.000 Got her with that zinger.
02:40:50.000 You'd be in jail.
02:40:51.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:40:52.000 That was the zinger of the campaign, wasn't it?
02:40:54.000 It's pretty good.
02:40:55.000 Did you enjoy the whole festivities?
02:40:57.000 Did you enjoy the nonsense of it all?
02:41:00.000 Were you upset by it?
02:41:01.000 No.
02:41:02.000 I don't know.
02:41:03.000 I just kind of...
02:41:04.000 It's all...
02:41:05.000 I did one segment where I took, honestly, it was like three minutes of the two of them talking during the debate, and just every half sentence I would stop it and go, that's not true.
02:41:12.000 That's not true.
02:41:13.000 That's not true.
02:41:13.000 That's bullshit.
02:41:15.000 It's like everything, every word that comes out is somehow a manipulation.
02:41:21.000 On both sides.
02:41:22.000 On both sides.
02:41:23.000 And I just, I was like, this is, I tried to cover it as little as I could.
02:41:26.000 I mean, I still covered it a lot, but I tried to avoid it as much as I could, because it's just a fucking sideshow.
02:41:31.000 My most frustrating thing of the campaign wasn't just that, because I was aware that there was a lot of things that were being said that weren't true, was that there was very few people doing what you just said.
02:41:43.000 Where you were covering it on both sides.
02:41:45.000 Saying, that's not true, that's not true, that's not true, that's not true.
02:41:48.000 Like, if you go back and forth from a right-wing show to a left-wing show, it's hard to pay attention.
02:41:53.000 It's hard to know what the hell is really going on.
02:41:55.000 Right.
02:41:55.000 It's two different realities.
02:41:56.000 And no one was doing like what you just said you were doing.
02:41:58.000 Go over the whole thing.
02:41:59.000 Like, hey, this is all crazy.
02:42:01.000 Yeah.
02:42:01.000 These people are lying.
02:42:03.000 They're wrong.
02:42:04.000 They're lying.
02:42:06.000 Now what?
02:42:07.000 Now what, Lee Kemp?
02:42:08.000 What do we do?
02:42:09.000 Do we energize Bernie?
02:42:10.000 We've got to get him on hormone replacement therapy and keep him alive longer.
02:42:14.000 I think you should go get him on a training regimen.
02:42:17.000 I want to get him doing deadlifts.
02:42:18.000 We've got to get him to fix that posture, too.
02:42:20.000 This shit, you can't...
02:42:22.000 Nobody wants that.
02:42:23.000 I want you to take your thumbs.
02:42:25.000 I want you to put it under your chin.
02:42:27.000 Every day when you wake up, I want you to sit up straight.
02:42:30.000 This is very important, Bernie.
02:42:31.000 You can't be doing this.
02:42:32.000 Listen, this comes from 30 years of trying to change the government.
02:42:38.000 I'm so tired.
02:42:39.000 It just shrinks you into a diamond.
02:42:41.000 Plus, snow shoveling.
02:42:43.000 I think what he should do is he should run in four years, but he should say, I'm only going to serve for four years.
02:42:49.000 Hmm.
02:42:49.000 Nobody wants that.
02:42:51.000 You don't have the endurance and the stamina to go eight, and then Trump's going to come in.
02:42:54.000 I've got endurance, I've got a winning attitude, and he's going to win again.
02:42:58.000 Trump's like overweight.
02:43:00.000 He doesn't have endurance.
02:43:01.000 He looks great, though.
02:43:02.000 He doesn't look great.
02:43:02.000 Whatever cocktail he's on is fucking carrying him through like a champ.
02:43:05.000 I'm telling you, look, you could say about his appearance all you want.
02:43:10.000 You'd be absolutely correct.
02:43:11.000 But he never showed any signs of physical deterioration.
02:43:15.000 No, I think he's okay, but he is relatively overweight.
02:43:18.000 He's not like a healthy man.
02:43:21.000 Definitely not.
02:43:21.000 Yeah, no, if I was his friend, I would definitely get him on some sort of an excellent diet.
02:43:26.000 I'd be like, there's a way to do this better.
02:43:28.000 You know, you'll have even more energy, and you're a goddamn dynamo as it is.
02:43:33.000 That was a real concern, too, the Hillary Clinton health concern.
02:43:36.000 And when you would bring it up, people would say, you're an asshole for discussing this, and that you're a sexist, or you're enabling in some sort of a way.
02:43:43.000 Like, no, these are legitimate concerns.
02:43:45.000 She had a stroke.
02:43:47.000 Yeah, I mean, and I don't honestly, a lot of it, I don't know the truth of it.
02:43:51.000 I shouldn't say she had a stroke.
02:43:52.000 She had, excuse me, she fainted.
02:43:55.000 She blacked out.
02:43:55.000 She had a seizure, fell, and cracked her head.
02:43:58.000 That's been confirmed.
02:44:00.000 And then she had another seizure, apparently, in 2015 that was discussed during the WikiLeaks tapes.
02:44:05.000 And what was the one where Bill Clinton, in an interview, he was like, oh yeah, she has these spells every once in a while.
02:44:12.000 Anyway, the point is, I don't know what the truth of every last detail that is, but it was like, they're not talking about that in a legitimate way.
02:44:20.000 They're not talking about the fact that Donald Trump won't release his medical records.
02:44:23.000 He had one doctor write a five-minute thing and said, oh, it's the healthiest guy that's ever lived.
02:44:27.000 What the fuck is that?
02:44:28.000 Biggest dick.
02:44:29.000 It's not orange.
02:44:31.000 It's a regular color.
02:44:33.000 That'd be weird though.
02:44:33.000 You can't have your dick a different color from the face.
02:44:36.000 If you're gonna go orange, you gotta go all orange.
02:44:38.000 All the way down on his toes is orange.
02:44:40.000 Except like a little strip down his butthole.
02:44:43.000 Like when people like tan on like a spray tanning thing and then do porno.
02:44:47.000 That'd be amazing if he had just a really tiny bikini line.
02:44:53.000 Do you remember what it would be like if people would sit in a tanning bed?
02:44:56.000 Tanning beds have kind of gotten out of favor.
02:44:58.000 But one of the things about tanning beds, they would leave weird sort of semi-white spots on your butt because your cheeks kind of compress and so your cheeks touch each other when you're lying flat on that thing.
02:45:10.000 So in between your butt cheeks gets pale.
02:45:12.000 Unless you're making a real concerted effort to spread your asshole out.
02:45:17.000 And sort of hover over that suntan booth for a good solid 20 minutes or how long it takes you.
02:45:24.000 I'm sure Donald Trump has people spread his cheeks for him.
02:45:27.000 Probably.
02:45:28.000 In the tanner.
02:45:29.000 They just smooth it all out.
02:45:30.000 Listen, get my cheek spreaders!
02:45:31.000 Get them in here!
02:45:33.000 Get them in!
02:45:37.000 I don't think he's using...
02:45:38.000 I think it's probably a spray tanning type thing.
02:45:41.000 It wasn't.
02:45:42.000 Maybe he just drinks a lot of carrot juice and we're just being assholes.
02:45:44.000 There's no way.
02:45:45.000 Maybe.
02:45:46.000 Andy Dick used to do that.
02:45:48.000 I've seen people do that.
02:45:49.000 They drink so much carrot juice that their skins get orange.
02:45:52.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:45:53.000 He was drinking so much carrot juice that his fingers started getting...
02:45:56.000 And he was talking about it.
02:45:58.000 It's apparently super common when people do that.
02:46:00.000 They drink a tremendous amount of carrot juice.
02:46:02.000 It literally will change the color of your skin.
02:46:03.000 It didn't look too weird until he brought it up.
02:46:05.000 And you're like, oh, wow.
02:46:07.000 It wasn't like, dude, are you okay?
02:46:09.000 You going orange on us?
02:46:10.000 It's a good thing Corn's not blue.
02:46:11.000 We'd all be blue.
02:46:12.000 It's a good thing.
02:46:14.000 It's a good thing.
02:46:15.000 Very good thing.
02:46:16.000 How do you have time to do your show and do stand-up?
02:46:20.000 Is that difficult to do?
02:46:21.000 Yeah, it is.
02:46:22.000 I've only been doing stand-up when I go out to cities and I'll play a theater or something, but I haven't been getting up as much as I would like.
02:46:31.000 So you basically just do your show, and does a lot of the subject matter just bleed out in your stand-up?
02:46:36.000 Because of working on this stuff, you must find some pretty absurd subjects.
02:46:39.000 Yeah, it's all...
02:46:41.000 Most of my stand-up comes from stuff from the show, because it's just like, I can't fucking...
02:46:46.000 I basically have two TV shows.
02:46:49.000 One of them, luckily, is an interview show, so it doesn't fill up as much of my writing time.
02:46:53.000 But I've got to write the whole other show every week, and so I just don't have time to write new stand-up.
02:46:58.000 So the stand-up usually becomes a stuff that was in the show.
02:47:02.000 Are you planning on doing a special or anything anytime soon?
02:47:05.000 Well, we just filmed this Redacted Tonight Live, we called it, or whatever, in Laugh Factory, and we're going to air portions of that at the end of December on our YouTube channel, so that'll be a bit of a special.
02:47:17.000 Oh, so you did it as stand-up?
02:47:19.000 Yeah, it was stand-up.
02:47:20.000 Oh, okay, cool.
02:47:22.000 Yeah.
02:47:22.000 Well, because I passed by the Laugh Factory.
02:47:24.000 I put it up on my Instagram the other day.
02:47:25.000 I passed by the Laugh Factory.
02:47:26.000 Look at Lee Camp's got a billboard!
02:47:29.000 Does that feel weird?
02:47:30.000 Driving down and seeing your face?
02:47:32.000 It's weird, but here's the thing.
02:47:34.000 As you well know, all it means is someone had some money to do that.
02:47:37.000 It doesn't really mean anything.
02:47:39.000 No, I'm your friend.
02:47:40.000 I took a picture of it, man.
02:47:41.000 I was impressed.
02:47:42.000 Thank you.
02:47:42.000 I was like, look at Lee Camp, ballin'.
02:47:44.000 You've never, for one of your new albums, you've never done the Laugh Factory billboard?
02:47:47.000 No, I've never had the Laugh Factory billboard before.
02:47:49.000 You could've.
02:47:52.000 One day you'll get there!
02:47:53.000 One day!
02:47:55.000 Tell people what's the best way to get a hold of you, what's the best way to see your stuff, what's your website.
02:48:00.000 Everyone should check out the show at youtube.com slash redacted tonight, but everything else is pretty much LeeCamp.net and at LeeCamp on Twitter.
02:48:08.000 And your show's on RT and on YouTube?
02:48:10.000 The same exact show?
02:48:11.000 Yeah.
02:48:11.000 Oh, that's beautiful.
02:48:12.000 We put it all, yeah.
02:48:13.000 Unlike daily shows, I think we put it all on YouTube.
02:48:16.000 Oh, that's nice.
02:48:17.000 That's nice.
02:48:18.000 That's very cool.
02:48:18.000 So you don't have to have RT to get it?
02:48:20.000 Nope.
02:48:20.000 These crazy kids that are untethered.
02:48:23.000 Untethered.
02:48:23.000 Free.
02:48:24.000 Free as a bird.
02:48:25.000 They don't give a fuck.
02:48:26.000 Free as a terror bird.
02:48:26.000 They're out there bit-torrenting.
02:48:29.000 Alright, well, that's how you get all your stuff out, LeeCamp.net.
02:48:34.000 And when can people see you again?
02:48:36.000 When is your next tour date?
02:48:37.000 Where are you at?
02:48:38.000 Anywhere?
02:48:38.000 Next tour date, yes.
02:48:39.000 I'm playing like Cleveland and Pittsburgh in the new year, and I have Chapel Hill and D.C. coming up December 9th and 10th.
02:48:48.000 Very funny guy.
02:48:49.000 Go out and see him.
02:48:50.000 Lee Camp, ladies and gentlemen.
02:48:51.000 Thank you, sir.
02:48:51.000 Love you, Joe.
02:48:52.000 Always a pleasure.
02:48:53.000 Thank you, man.
02:48:53.000 Love you as well.
02:48:54.000 Folks, we're done for the week.
02:48:56.000 Not yet, bitches!
02:48:57.000 Tomorrow, Fight Companion.
02:48:59.000 Full Onslaught.
02:49:01.000 Brian Callen.
02:49:02.000 Eddie Bravo.
02:49:03.000 Brendan Chubb.
02:49:04.000 Plus, alcohol and marijuana.
02:49:08.000 Pizzagate.
02:49:09.000 Hashtag Pizzagate.
02:49:13.000 What is hashtag?