The Joe Rogan Experience - December 06, 2016


Joe Rogan Experience #883 - Kevin Smith


Episode Stats

Length

4 hours and 3 minutes

Words per Minute

209.05852

Word Count

50,850

Sentence Count

4,886

Misogynist Sentences

163

Hate Speech Sentences

109


Summary

Comedian and actor Joe Rogan joins Jemele to discuss his new movie, Yoga Hosers, and how he got his start as a stand-up comic. He also talks about his new Netflix film, The Handmaid's Tale, and why he doesn't care what people think of him. Plus, he gives us the inside scoop on why he thinks Kevin Smith is the best actor in the world, and what it's like to work with him on his new film. Plus, we talk about why he's not a morning person, why he likes to drink milk, and the movie he's making with his daughter, Johnny Deppson, and his daughter's girlfriend. And, of course, he talks about how he's going to make a movie with his wife, Amy Poehler, that's right there in the title of the movie, "Yoga Hosers." And, he also gives us his thoughts on the new Netflix movie "Yogurt Hosers" and why it's a good movie to watch on your drive home from the movie theater. You won't want to miss this! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. Artwork by Ian Dorsch. The theme song by Suneaters, courtesy of Lotuspool Records. We'll See You Soon, My Dear Universe. by Fuse. -- and our ad music is by Lizzie. Subscribe to our new music streaming service, . and we'll be giving you a shoutout on the best song of the week, Too Effin' Good Vibez. Thank you for listening to this episode of Gimlet? (featuring our new song "The Good, the Bad, the Good, The Bad, The Good, and The Bad and the Beautiful, the Great, The Great, the One and The Beautiful, and so on and so much more! -- Thank you so much for your support and support us, we really appreciate it. We'll see you next week for all your support. Thank you, bye. Love ya, bye, bye Bye Bye, bye bye bye, Bye Bye Bye. <3. -Eddie & Good Luck, bye! -Jemele x -P.B. -JOSH MILLER -KEVIN SCARLATA


Transcript

00:00:02.000 Let's fucking do it.
00:00:08.000 Yee-haw, Kevin Smith!
00:00:10.000 We did it again!
00:00:11.000 Yes, sir.
00:00:11.000 Is it happening?
00:00:12.000 We're there?
00:00:13.000 We're live.
00:00:13.000 We're here.
00:00:14.000 This took a while to bring together.
00:00:16.000 Dude, so nice to see you, though.
00:00:17.000 Excellent to see you.
00:00:18.000 Before we go any farther, or far at all, or do anything, let me just throw out there.
00:00:24.000 I was telling somebody, like, what are you doing today?
00:00:26.000 I was like, I'm going to go talk to Joe Rogan.
00:00:28.000 Then I launched into my, like, ten-minute Joe Rogan pitch.
00:00:32.000 And at the end of it, the person I was talking to goes, oh, you've known him a long time?
00:00:38.000 I said, I've talked to him like twice in person.
00:00:42.000 And she was like, you just went on a passionate tirade about the man.
00:00:46.000 I said, I don't know how to explain it, but I love the way he lives.
00:00:50.000 I've loved the man since news radio, and then meeting the man and speaking with him on previous podcasts, both his and mine.
00:00:58.000 But not just that, and I love your philosophy, I love the way you do life, you handle it like The way I would if I was you, like, that's the best compliment I could give, but I'm not you, so I'm gutless, and I live through your Instagram.
00:01:11.000 Like, I look at how you live, I was like, this is how a man lives.
00:01:14.000 If only I could be this man.
00:01:16.000 So, coming here is an absolute fucking pleasure.
00:01:19.000 I thought we were going to your house, but that happened years ago, apparently.
00:01:22.000 Yeah, I moved out of the house when people got creepy.
00:01:25.000 There's too many creepy people.
00:01:27.000 Like, when you don't want them coming to your house, but you do want them on the podcast, I'm like, shit.
00:01:32.000 When I went, it must have been a while ago, because Megan was still working for me, and she drove me, and she had to take a leak, and she pissed outside.
00:01:41.000 That's right!
00:01:42.000 We did a five-hour podcast!
00:01:44.000 It wasn't so long, and then I felt bad.
00:01:46.000 I was like, maybe that's why he's not having me back at the house.
00:01:48.000 He's like, we're bringing him to the satellite office, because he lets his assistants void in the yard.
00:01:53.000 I'm feeling fucking dope, sir.
00:01:55.000 Let me tell you why.
00:01:57.000 I made this movie called Yoga Hosers that just finally came onto Netflix and I took it to Sundance in January and they bent me over and just, critically speaking, and were just hate-fucking it.
00:02:09.000 They hated this movie.
00:02:10.000 A lot of people reviewed it from the moment we announced it.
00:02:12.000 I'm like, hey, I'm going to make a movie with my daughter and Johnny Deppson and his daughter's going to be in it too.
00:02:17.000 And right away I saw, like, fucking the long sharp knives come out.
00:02:21.000 And so, as expected, it goes to Sundance.
00:02:24.000 I'm not saying this movie's for everybody.
00:02:25.000 It's for, like, ten people in the world.
00:02:28.000 But the ten people that love it will love it like religion.
00:02:30.000 Well, haven't you always done that, though?
00:02:31.000 You just kind of do what you like to do.
00:02:33.000 Story of my life, dude.
00:02:34.000 If I could turn it around and turn it on you.
00:02:35.000 What I like about what you do is you're very much an accepted inside guy who lives like some guy from Jersey who's trying to break into the business.
00:02:47.000 This is useful because you never really understand how professionals see you.
00:02:52.000 You know how the world sees you because they'll tell you at any given moment.
00:02:55.000 Joe Normal or Sally Normal.
00:02:58.000 People who live in the real world and shit.
00:03:00.000 But your peers and people like, we work in entertainment and shit.
00:03:03.000 Yeah.
00:03:04.000 Tell me that again.
00:03:05.000 You're very unaffected.
00:03:06.000 You're a uniquely unaffected guy.
00:03:09.000 But also, like, ineffective at the same time?
00:03:11.000 No, no, you're very effective.
00:03:12.000 You're effective at doing what you enjoy.
00:03:14.000 And that's why you have such a unique and loyal fan base.
00:03:18.000 It's because they know...
00:03:19.000 It's like, in this world...
00:03:22.000 There's not a whole lot of unique visions.
00:03:25.000 There's a lot of ideas that get brought to producers and executives and a bunch of people pile in and it becomes more of an idea where it's trying to appeal to a broader audience and it switches up and then someone wants to bring in a love interest.
00:03:40.000 There's all sorts of influences that happen that homogenize as you drink some milk.
00:03:46.000 I know, that was perfect timing.
00:03:47.000 My man brings his milk.
00:03:48.000 Oh my lord, that was perfect.
00:03:49.000 The perfect timing of a stand-up comic.
00:03:51.000 Well done.
00:03:52.000 Really, that's the best word for it because even though if it's good, you don't feel like that guy.
00:03:58.000 Tarantino is one of the unique guys where even though his movies are these gigantic mega blockbusters, it feels like Tarantino.
00:04:06.000 He's doing his own thing.
00:04:07.000 Yeah, it feels like this crazy fucker just got the money and the wheels and they're listening to him because he's Tarantino.
00:04:14.000 Your movies are the same kind of feeling.
00:04:15.000 And his thing also connects with more people.
00:04:18.000 Yeah.
00:04:18.000 There's more of a like, oh yeah, that's cool.
00:04:20.000 It's cinema of cool because you could just look at, even if you don't have an experiential connection to it, like, oh, I once went to a 50s cafe as per Pulp Fiction.
00:04:29.000 You're just like, that looks badass.
00:04:30.000 Yeah.
00:04:31.000 Seeing John Travolta dance with Uma Thurman, that's badass.
00:04:33.000 Milkshakes, everything.
00:04:34.000 Yeah, everything about it is just like cinema of cool.
00:04:37.000 And fed by a lifetime of movie loving and a movie diet.
00:04:41.000 Yeah.
00:04:42.000 So if you love movies, here's a guy that distills everything that's the essence of cool of cinema.
00:04:48.000 And I don't want to keep hitting the cool bell because people are like, come on, that's a hipster term.
00:04:52.000 But it does distill it down to those moments.
00:04:55.000 Not so much like massive arcs, but, ooh, this feels awesome.
00:04:59.000 Yeah.
00:04:59.000 Oh, that's metal.
00:04:59.000 That's dope.
00:05:00.000 Yeah.
00:05:01.000 Well, yeah.
00:05:03.000 You have that same kind of thing.
00:05:05.000 Your movies are very...
00:05:06.000 For very few people.
00:05:07.000 Well, it's your comedies.
00:05:08.000 I think I'm the only one left.
00:05:09.000 Your comedies in particular.
00:05:10.000 Like, that was one of the more interesting and unique things about Red State.
00:05:14.000 Because I had no...
00:05:15.000 You didn't tell me a word about it.
00:05:16.000 You said, I don't want you to know nothing.
00:05:18.000 Just come and sit there.
00:05:19.000 Which sounded filthier than I meant to be.
00:05:19.000 Going dry.
00:05:20.000 Me and Maren sit there and watched it.
00:05:22.000 And at the end of it, we were like, holy shit.
00:05:25.000 Like, holy shit.
00:05:26.000 Like, what the fuck was that?
00:05:27.000 That movie was crazy.
00:05:29.000 And it wasn't a comedy at all.
00:05:31.000 It's nice to be able to every once in a while throw him a curve and be like, oh, we thought we saw everything.
00:05:36.000 I always felt most people saw me as like, oh, he did Clerks and then he's done about 96 variations on Clerks.
00:05:42.000 People need to see Red State.
00:05:43.000 If you haven't seen Red State, that is a...
00:05:47.000 I don't want to say too much because I want people to go into it the way I went into it.
00:05:50.000 Just go see that fucking movie.
00:05:52.000 But that's another movie where even though it wasn't the same voice, it was still a unique voice.
00:05:59.000 I don't know what it's like to make a movie, but it's got to be a lot of people have a lot of say.
00:06:05.000 Depends what your budget is.
00:06:06.000 The bigger the budget, the more you have to listen to a bunch more people.
00:06:09.000 And you can't be unreasonable about it if you get tremendous amounts of success like J.J. Abrams and you're a nice guy at the same time.
00:06:17.000 Yeah.
00:06:35.000 It's still a smaller circle of people to kind of answer to.
00:06:38.000 You always have to be willing to hear what they're saying.
00:06:40.000 If somebody's willing to give you ungodly amounts of money to make pretend, mind you, this is not like, I'm going to give you funds and you're going to give me eggs and then I'm going to sell those eggs and I'm going to make more money selling those eggs.
00:06:50.000 They're like, we're going to give you money and you're going to take this goofy fucking idea you have and try to make it real and turn it into a movie that may work or may not work.
00:06:59.000 It's all crapshoot.
00:07:00.000 It's like buying a lottery ticket to a large degree.
00:07:02.000 No guarantees that there'll ever be an audience for it.
00:07:06.000 So I learned that midway in my career and realized, well, just work for you.
00:07:10.000 Sounds masturbatory, but it's like, if you're the audience that you're trying to hit, Then you'll always be satisfied.
00:07:17.000 You know, it's like if you want other people to like it, it's subjective.
00:07:21.000 And you may not find that people dig what you're doing.
00:07:24.000 And, you know, if you're looking for monetary success, good luck.
00:07:27.000 Nobody can guess that.
00:07:29.000 Like, even when Marvel releases a new movie, and we know Marvel is exceptional at what they do.
00:07:34.000 Put them in Pixar.
00:07:35.000 Marvel, Pixar, I don't care.
00:07:36.000 The best of the best.
00:07:37.000 Even when they release a movie...
00:07:39.000 They clench a little bit.
00:07:41.000 Because they're like, anything could happen.
00:07:41.000 Oh, they have to.
00:07:43.000 Yeah.
00:07:43.000 Like, anything could happen at all.
00:07:44.000 So, generally speaking, they're a little more insulated from like, oh shit, we lost money.
00:07:49.000 Well, especially those Marvel movies are so expensive now.
00:07:53.000 But they make loot, dude.
00:07:53.000 Yeah.
00:07:54.000 It's like, same thing with the animated movies.
00:07:56.000 The animated movies are ungodly expensive to make, but they print money.
00:08:01.000 And they print money not just the first time they come out at the box office.
00:08:05.000 They print money through all the licenses.
00:08:08.000 They print money where, you know, sometimes you go like, they're doing a sequel to that.
00:08:11.000 Why?
00:08:12.000 Why don't they do something new?
00:08:13.000 Because they've already built the world.
00:08:15.000 It's already there in a computer, and they're like, all we need is a new script, and we're good.
00:08:18.000 We've done our infrastructure.
00:08:20.000 Like, when you think about it, if you were building something, you built all this massive infrastructure and spent three years putting it together and did it once, and then you're like, okay, everybody, goodbye forever.
00:08:30.000 It's kind of a waste of everything you put together.
00:08:33.000 That's why they immediately go for a sequel.
00:08:35.000 A, they know they're going to make money, but B, they're going to make more money because they don't have to invest as much time and money as they did the first time.
00:08:41.000 So that's what makes a studio go like, oh, that's easier.
00:08:44.000 That's low-hanging fruit.
00:08:45.000 And everyone's happy.
00:08:46.000 You know, it's not like they're making art films that only a few people like.
00:08:49.000 Generally, they tend to make flicks that a bunch of people want to go see.
00:08:52.000 And that riles up people that want to see newer films or something like that.
00:08:56.000 Because, like, why is it always the same movie over and over again?
00:08:58.000 But, you know, I submit to you, if you're going to see a superhero movie...
00:09:02.000 Expect a little fucking sameness.
00:09:04.000 It's a story of, like, an exceptional being with powers that others don't, and hopefully that person will use it for good.
00:09:11.000 You know, you could only cut that cheese so many fucking times and say it's something new.
00:09:16.000 Other than the Watchmen.
00:09:17.000 I think the Watchmen took it to a new place.
00:09:19.000 Yeah, and I love the Watchmen, but at the end of the day, it's just like people in masks doing the right thing.
00:09:24.000 And yeah, they fucked in space, but other than that, it's people in masks trying to do the right thing.
00:09:28.000 They were murdered, too.
00:09:30.000 They murdered each other.
00:09:31.000 They caught up in Batman v Superman.
00:09:33.000 I heard there were some murders in that movie.
00:09:35.000 In the movie, I was like, did they say somebody fucking died in prison?
00:09:38.000 And over Batman?
00:09:40.000 You know, they went in strange directions.
00:09:41.000 But...
00:09:42.000 After a year of, like, just taking it over, a movie that nobody saw because it didn't really come out conventionally, we toured it and stuff like that, Yoga Horsers finally goes to Netflix.
00:09:50.000 And I just want to go back and, like, here, let me just assure people.
00:09:55.000 If there's something you want to do, do it.
00:09:58.000 Like, as long as it doesn't hurt somebody.
00:10:00.000 Especially if it's something like make something, like a movie or fucking comic book or art, whatever the fuck.
00:10:06.000 Don't worry about the consequences.
00:10:07.000 There was a moment throughout this year where I was like, fuck, what was I? I was stoned, why did I make that movie?
00:10:14.000 Like, oh my god, I'm a fucking idiot and stuff.
00:10:16.000 And I forgot somewhere along the way that, like, when I made it, and this isn't a cop-out of, like, I didn't make it for everybody, but I did kind of target an audience for it.
00:10:24.000 And I knew going in that it was going to have this weird life to get to where it is.
00:10:28.000 I made it for tween girls specifically.
00:10:30.000 I was like, maybe other people could enjoy it, but this is for a tween girl.
00:10:33.000 The way, like, when I was a tween boy, I was clicking on cable and I found Strange Brew, starring Bob and Doug McKenzie.
00:10:39.000 And I was like...
00:10:40.000 Oh my God, I've never heard of this before.
00:10:42.000 How come nobody ever heard of this?
00:10:43.000 This is mine.
00:10:44.000 You have a sense of ownership to it.
00:10:46.000 It changed my life.
00:10:47.000 It's one of my favorite movies and informed what I would become in life, the kind of comedy I would do.
00:10:52.000 You were formed by Bob and Doug McKenzie.
00:10:54.000 By Bob and Doug McKenzie.
00:10:55.000 Think about it, dude.
00:10:56.000 I made Jay and Silent Bob.
00:10:57.000 You don't get to Jay and Silent Bob without Bob and Doug McKenzie.
00:11:00.000 It's not a direct line from Cheech and Chong to Jay and Bob, right?
00:11:00.000 That's hilarious.
00:11:04.000 That's hilarious.
00:11:05.000 So I felt like, I want to make a movie.
00:11:06.000 I have a daughter, and she's 17 now, but for years I was always trying to take her to flicks where it's not Iron Man, Spider-Man, Superman, Batman.
00:11:15.000 It's like, hey, is there a fucking lady up in the mix here that's not just like, and Black Widow.
00:11:21.000 Now they're making a Wonder Woman movie.
00:11:23.000 So I said, you can sit around and curse the darkness, or you can light a candle.
00:11:27.000 So I was like, all right, let's make this thing that I'm trying to take the kid to that I could never find and shit.
00:11:32.000 And she got into acting, so...
00:11:34.000 She's in it.
00:11:35.000 And she's the reason I did it.
00:11:36.000 If it wasn't for her, I wouldn't have tried it and shit.
00:11:38.000 But she had a small role in Tusk.
00:11:39.000 I thought she did good.
00:11:40.000 So I spun off her character and her friend Lily Rose's character into this whole movie.
00:11:44.000 So when I was making it, I was making it for like, you know, you want to talk about playing a game of darts.
00:11:47.000 It's like, you're not going after anybody between girls.
00:11:51.000 And I knew in that moment, I was like, it's going to be a long time before they get it.
00:11:55.000 They're not going to find it in theaters.
00:11:56.000 It's a fucking weird hybrid midnight movie.
00:11:58.000 It's a stoner flick.
00:11:59.000 The villains are one foot tall Canadian Nazis made of bratwurst called Bratzies.
00:12:03.000 Like it's a fucked up weird ass movie.
00:12:05.000 So they'll find it.
00:12:07.000 Like the way I found Strange Brew on cable, I had this dream, like two simple dreams in regards to this poster.
00:12:12.000 In regards to this movie.
00:12:13.000 I want a poster where two girls just stand next to each other and they're not like fighting over a fucking boy or something like that.
00:12:19.000 They're just hanging out.
00:12:19.000 The way like Dante and Randall hung out on my clerk's poster.
00:12:22.000 And then, like, it would eventually wind up on Netflix or some streaming service that's, like, amidst hundreds, thousands of other movies.
00:12:30.000 And some tween girl is clicking through one day, bored of shit, and just watched everything, and suddenly sees the picture of, like, two girls standing next to each other, hockey stick, and little sausage men.
00:12:39.000 And going like, what's that?
00:12:41.000 And like, it becomes their religion, their strange brew or something.
00:12:44.000 You know, you can't always go for the world.
00:12:47.000 It'd be nice if you're going to satisfy everybody, but you're trying to satisfy yourself, which sounds very masturbatory, but at the same time, it's like, I hope people go on the journey.
00:12:56.000 But I understand if they can't.
00:12:58.000 Like, sometimes we go in directions where the audience, the entire audience, can't follow us.
00:13:02.000 I'm sure you got some people who love you who are like, yeah, I don't dig on MMA, but I love everything else you do.
00:13:07.000 It's like, they could go partially, they can't go all the way with you sometimes.
00:13:12.000 And I get that, you know?
00:13:13.000 It's like, especially lately, I've been making movies that are real, like, fucking dare.
00:13:17.000 Like, not daring, but like, I dare you to fucking get through this.
00:13:20.000 You know, it's a real, like, clearly he doesn't give a shit about the audience anymore.
00:13:24.000 He's just making shit to watch their reaction change.
00:13:26.000 And it's not true.
00:13:27.000 There's something there and stuff.
00:13:28.000 But I know that it used to be a wider bridge people could cross to get to me, and now the bridge is getting smaller and smaller.
00:13:34.000 Because I'm like, you gotta like this.
00:13:36.000 You gotta be interested in this.
00:13:37.000 Like Tusk, the movie I made after Red State, is a movie about a guy who tries to turn another guy into a walrus.
00:13:43.000 You really got me in the mood to see a fucking weird, batshit, stupid movie that's intentionally like, well, is this fucking dumb?
00:13:49.000 Is he serious?
00:13:50.000 And it plays it so straight and shit, like we're Argo.
00:13:53.000 So clearly I'm in a very experimental, like, let me fuck around.
00:13:56.000 I've done enough.
00:13:57.000 I feel good.
00:13:57.000 Let me fuck around.
00:13:58.000 And it finally paid off.
00:14:00.000 That's the point of this whole story.
00:14:01.000 Like, after a year, get mass kicked online and people being like, he fucking lost it and shit.
00:14:06.000 Now that audience is starting to find it.
00:14:09.000 Now that it's on Netflix, all of a sudden I'm hearing from fucking tween girls that like the movie.
00:14:14.000 And parents of tween girls are like, oh my god.
00:14:16.000 How many of them are like 40 year old dudes pretending to be tween girls?
00:14:19.000 I hope it is.
00:14:20.000 I hope it's all of them, dude.
00:14:21.000 I don't give a shit.
00:14:22.000 At least two.
00:14:22.000 I'll take them all.
00:14:23.000 If they were all 40 year old dudes that said nice things about it.
00:14:26.000 After a year of people being like, it blows.
00:14:28.000 It's nice to have people being like...
00:14:30.000 Oh, it blows on purpose, or, oh, I get it, or blah, blah, blah.
00:14:33.000 I gotta ask you this.
00:14:34.000 How much of your thought process, when you make something, is worrying about how it's going to be received?
00:14:41.000 Or dealing with the people that don't like it?
00:14:44.000 Lately, not anymore about either.
00:14:48.000 But sooner or later, there's a factor of want to see, because that has to do with whether the thing makes money or goes at the box office.
00:14:56.000 How something makes money is completely different now.
00:14:59.000 You're never counting on, like, oh, people will come out and see it in a theater and shit like that.
00:15:04.000 You know, there's a bunch of different revenue streams at this point and stuff, thanks to the digital age.
00:15:10.000 But at that point, when I'm making it, you know, of course you think, hey, somebody's going to see it.
00:15:15.000 It's not like you're doing it in a, you know, kind of like an abyss and nobody's there but you or something like that.
00:15:21.000 But at the same time, you know, when it's all done...
00:15:26.000 Just stupid questions like, you know, what do you want the poster to look like?
00:15:31.000 Dictates a commercial thought.
00:15:33.000 You know, I can't say, like, I never think about that shit, because sooner or later, somebody's going to ask me a question that I have to, you know, where they're like, hey, man, we get it.
00:15:41.000 You're making it for you, but you did take a few million bucks.
00:15:44.000 Like, how do we sell this shit?
00:15:46.000 How do we get our money back, you know?
00:15:48.000 So, you know, then you, that's when you start going, okay, how do we get it to the right audience?
00:15:53.000 No more like, how do we tailor it, or how do we, Fucking trick them into seeing it or something like that.
00:15:58.000 Like, put it on Front Street.
00:15:59.000 And then dealing with the fallout...
00:16:01.000 Yeah, I used to have to deal with it a lot more.
00:16:04.000 I used to choose to deal with it a lot more.
00:16:05.000 And now it's just like...
00:16:07.000 I'm 46. Like, I don't know what else to tell you.
00:16:09.000 Like, there was a person who came to one of the screenings on the road.
00:16:12.000 We had this screening at...
00:16:15.000 I want to say New Orleans.
00:16:15.000 I forget where we were.
00:16:17.000 And of Yoga Hosers and I was doing Q&A afterwards.
00:16:20.000 And you know, everyone's getting up and like, oh, it's fun.
00:16:22.000 It's fucking stupid and asking questions.
00:16:24.000 And then one guy gets up and he is like tight, dude.
00:16:27.000 He's very serious.
00:16:28.000 And he's just like, okay, you told a big long story before that movie began.
00:16:33.000 And I did.
00:16:34.000 There was a big intro before the movie began.
00:16:35.000 Told like an hour-long story of how we got there.
00:16:38.000 And he goes, that story did not match the movie I just watched.
00:16:41.000 And I said, no?
00:16:42.000 And he goes, not at all.
00:16:44.000 And he goes, why did you make that movie?
00:16:47.000 He's going, I found that unwatchable.
00:16:49.000 And everyone in the audience is going, oh.
00:16:51.000 And I was like, no, man, he paid.
00:16:53.000 Like, he overpaid to see this movie if I'm sitting here talking.
00:16:56.000 So, yeah, let him say what he wants.
00:16:59.000 I'm fine.
00:16:59.000 Like, I'm a big boy.
00:17:00.000 And so he goes, I just don't think you ever should have made it.
00:17:03.000 And I said, well, you understand that's subjective, right?
00:17:03.000 It's terrible.
00:17:06.000 Like, you're surrounded by a bunch of people that feel, like, the opposite way.
00:17:10.000 So, you know, and people were applauding and shit.
00:17:12.000 And then some guy behind him in line jumps in front of the mic and goes, you want me to kick his ass?
00:17:16.000 And I was like, no, fuck no.
00:17:18.000 I was like, everyone's entitled to their opinion.
00:17:20.000 I said, but his opinion is I never should have done this.
00:17:24.000 And, you know, my answer to that is, like, that's ridiculous.
00:17:26.000 Like, if...
00:17:28.000 I wanted to make it.
00:17:29.000 That's the only reason we're here.
00:17:31.000 I just want to see it.
00:17:32.000 You could choose not to see it.
00:17:33.000 And in this instance, I'm really sorry that our tastes didn't coincide.
00:17:37.000 But every time I go to do one of these things, I do it the same way, whether it was Clerks up to the most recent one.
00:17:42.000 I just make the movie I want to see.
00:17:44.000 And hopefully others like it.
00:17:46.000 And sometimes they do, and that's amazing, and it feels great.
00:17:48.000 And you're like, holy shit, my finger's on the pulse.
00:17:50.000 And sometimes you're fucking alone, but at least you're like, I'm happy with the thing that I made.
00:17:54.000 I said, but I feel heartbroken that you came out here looking for something I didn't give you.
00:17:58.000 So I said, I'm going to give you your money back.
00:18:00.000 And I pulled out 40 bucks and I was like, put it on the, there's like a riser speaker.
00:18:05.000 And he goes, I don't want that.
00:18:06.000 And I was like, no, man, honestly, take it.
00:18:08.000 It's not like Jason Mue is going to come out and hit you with a hammer.
00:18:08.000 It's not a trick.
00:18:10.000 Just take it.
00:18:11.000 Like, I feel bad.
00:18:11.000 I want you to have a good time and shit like that.
00:18:14.000 And he goes, no, I don't want that.
00:18:15.000 And I was like, dude, it makes for an excellent story.
00:18:17.000 You could be like, I told him his movie fucking blew to his face and I fucking took his money and walked out.
00:18:22.000 And he went and sat down and crossed his arms and just stayed there for another half hour during the Q&A. So for him it was worth the $40 just to be like, I'm going to just sit here and fucking hate on this.
00:18:22.000 And he goes, no.
00:18:34.000 And let you know and then sit down again.
00:18:36.000 So you deal with that, but that's the memorable one because that never happens.
00:18:41.000 Generally speaking, Like when we toured the movie, you're in a safe zone.
00:18:46.000 It's like going out and doing club night.
00:18:48.000 It's like people there are there because they love you.
00:18:52.000 They're not going, I wonder if this fucking tween sausage movie is for me.
00:18:56.000 Like, they're already dialed in on some part of the journey.
00:18:59.000 Like, oh, I've loved Tosk or I've been with them since Clerks or so forth and so on.
00:19:04.000 I feel like I'm rambling.
00:19:05.000 Let's talk about fucking useful shit.
00:19:05.000 No, no, you're not rambling at all.
00:19:07.000 It's interesting because...
00:19:10.000 The relationship that you have to the people that buy your stuff is very direct.
00:19:14.000 You also have a podcast, so you talk about things in a pretty open and honest way like this, and you express vulnerability, which makes people super uncomfortable.
00:19:26.000 Does it really?
00:19:27.000 Is that your experience?
00:19:29.000 It doesn't make me uncomfortable.
00:19:30.000 No, no, no.
00:19:31.000 But in the world in general, if you tell people like, oh, I fucked up and I'm stupid or I'm fat or my dick's small, they're like, hey, man, hey, that's too much.
00:19:38.000 Well, I think there's two factions.
00:19:41.000 There's one faction that enjoys it and they go, hey, Kevin Smith is just like me.
00:19:45.000 He's kind of fucked up just like I am and nobody really ever gets it together.
00:19:49.000 And then there's like...
00:19:52.000 There's the facts and like, God, I wish he was like Will Smith.
00:19:55.000 Will Smith just seems to have his shit together always.
00:19:58.000 Like, Will Smith just keeps knocking it out of the park.
00:20:01.000 And the only reason is because we share that last name.
00:20:03.000 That's why there's an expectation connecting me to that guy.
00:20:05.000 I just came up with a guy who never fails.
00:20:07.000 I thought it was out there in the world.
00:20:08.000 You're like, anyone I talk to says you should be more Like Will Smith.
00:20:11.000 I'm like, that's weird.
00:20:12.000 Will Smith is essentially a never fail guy, right?
00:20:14.000 Like, name a time Will Smith has failed.
00:20:16.000 Yes.
00:20:17.000 Look, I'm with you, generally speaking.
00:20:18.000 Yeah.
00:20:19.000 He always gets jiggy with it.
00:20:21.000 But there have been moments where he too, you know, we saw him be mortal.
00:20:21.000 Yeah.
00:20:27.000 Wild Wild West was one of the first ones.
00:20:29.000 Yeah, I missed that.
00:20:30.000 That's good, though.
00:20:31.000 That's a good point.
00:20:33.000 But there have been a couple flicks.
00:20:35.000 Recently, including the one he did with his kid.
00:20:37.000 Once again, he got punished for making a movie with his kid as well.
00:20:41.000 And he's raising those kids in a real interesting way.
00:20:43.000 That's where he gets most of his flack these days.
00:20:47.000 His son's all about stardust and shit.
00:20:49.000 His daughter's not that far off.
00:20:51.000 Yeah, they're both really creative kids, but they have been raised in a world much different than the world that most people are raised in.
00:20:51.000 Really?
00:21:00.000 Nothing wrong with that, but it's produced very interesting results.
00:21:04.000 Yeah, and I guess if you're that sheltered, like your dad is some super movie star type character, your transition to regular, ordinary adulthood is probably super confusing.
00:21:15.000 I got one kid, and I'm not fucking Will Smith by any stretch of the imagination.
00:21:21.000 I ain't even fucking Joe Rogan, which is not saying you ain't Will Smith, but I guess it kind of is.
00:21:26.000 I definitely am not Will Smith.
00:21:28.000 But I've done some shit, so some people know me and stuff, and I got a kid...
00:21:34.000 And I was talking to her recently, and it came out that she was like, well, it's, yeah, it can be hard to be your daughter.
00:21:43.000 And I was like, what are you talking about?
00:21:45.000 I was like, I put you in things, I'm making stuff.
00:21:47.000 And she goes, no, it's not that you make it hard.
00:21:49.000 It's that there's this expectation.
00:21:52.000 Like, you did something.
00:21:53.000 Right.
00:21:53.000 And now if I don't do something...
00:21:56.000 What the fuck?
00:21:56.000 And I'm like, oh, don't worry about that.
00:21:58.000 I said, no.
00:21:59.000 I did one thing like 22 fucking years ago, and that's it.
00:22:03.000 Like, all you have to do is find one trick.
00:22:04.000 You can take your whole life if you need to.
00:22:06.000 But I said, nobody expects you to be me.
00:22:08.000 And this is a common...
00:22:11.000 Not theme, but I've had a moment like this before.
00:22:15.000 Once with Scott Mosher, the guy that I do Smodcast with, and I made all the early flicks with.
00:22:20.000 He would always say, it's tough to live in your shadow.
00:22:23.000 We make everything together.
00:22:23.000 And I was like, what shadow?
00:22:24.000 And he goes, well, we make your stuff.
00:22:26.000 And every time I think about going to make something...
00:22:29.000 I gotta compare it to the shit that we made together, and it makes me go, well, maybe I'm not ready to try it.
00:22:34.000 And I was like, well, that's not my fault.
00:22:35.000 He's like, I'm not saying it's your fault.
00:22:37.000 It's just tough to live in your shadow.
00:22:40.000 And, you know, I thought maybe that was his thing.
00:22:41.000 Years later, I heard the same shit from my wife.
00:22:43.000 She's like, it's just tough to live in your shadow.
00:22:45.000 I'm like, what are you talking about?
00:22:46.000 We don't even do the same things.
00:22:47.000 And she's like, but I can't even think about doing things now without thinking Well, he's kind of done something like that.
00:22:55.000 Or is it going to be compared to something he does?
00:22:57.000 And I'm like, you're out of your mind.
00:22:59.000 Everything I do fails.
00:23:00.000 And nobody ever holds it as a high watermark.
00:23:02.000 So it's not like they would hold you to some same high standard that they don't even hold me to.
00:23:07.000 So there's a bit of that, man.
00:23:09.000 Now my kid is echoing it a little bit where...
00:23:12.000 Through no fault of my own, not like I've created this, you know, like, live up to my standard.
00:23:18.000 I'm like, everyone do what you want, man.
00:23:19.000 Even with a kid.
00:23:20.000 I've never talked to her like a kid.
00:23:21.000 I've always talked to her like an adult.
00:23:23.000 But now even my kid is just like, yeah, it makes it tough to go do something because of you.
00:23:29.000 And it's not like you did it, but you do a lot and there's a high bar.
00:23:33.000 And I'm like, it makes me feel bad.
00:23:36.000 It makes me go like, all right, do less.
00:23:37.000 But I'm like, I got one life.
00:23:39.000 Like, I gotta accomplish a lot before my old man died at 67. Like, I don't know how long I'm gonna live, but I want to accomplish as much as I can and create and do shit and experience things.
00:23:39.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:23:49.000 Enjoy your time here.
00:23:51.000 Yeah, it's like, and I don't want to take away from all these other people's time.
00:23:54.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:23:54.000 I want her to enjoy her time and my wife to enjoy her time and Scott to enjoy his time.
00:23:59.000 But the sad fact of the matter is, In order for you to rise, usually someone in your life falls.
00:24:05.000 And it's not a precipitous like, oh, I've fucking broken, but they can't be rising like you when they're helping you build your shit.
00:24:12.000 That's something I had to learn to deal with way early on in my career.
00:24:15.000 I used to take advantage of people and not in the way of like, oh, I'm trying to take advantage of you, but I was like, oh, we're just working on my thing because what else will we be working on?
00:24:23.000 And hey, isn't this all great that we're working, period, and stuff.
00:24:26.000 And you forget that not everybody started Wanting to do your thing.
00:24:29.000 Like, Scott's whole thing was, you know, I didn't go to film school to become a producer of your movies.
00:24:34.000 I went to film school to write and direct.
00:24:36.000 And I've been having a great time doing your stuff.
00:24:38.000 But that meant ten years of me not even trying to do the thing that I went to do.
00:24:43.000 So it's a weird...
00:24:45.000 Especially because I never really feel successful.
00:24:47.000 I'm never like, well, I understand.
00:24:49.000 I understand I cast a wide shadow, but I don't think it's a very long shadow, because I'm like, there's no high bar here, kids.
00:24:55.000 There's a high bar in as much as, like, you know, I smoke a lot.
00:24:58.000 But there's no, like, well, he made the Matrix, motherfucker.
00:25:01.000 Like, how are you going to be the kid or the guy that made the Matrix?
00:25:05.000 Or the ladies that made the Matrix now?
00:25:08.000 Like, that would be tough.
00:25:09.000 I imagine growing up their kids, like, hey, man.
00:25:12.000 Your parents made the matrix.
00:25:13.000 Like, yeah.
00:25:14.000 Hey, let me ask you this, because you probably wouldn't know the answer to this before we get back to the subject, because this subject's really important.
00:25:18.000 Obviously, I'm using you like a therapist today.
00:25:20.000 Whatever the fucking happened to that lawsuit?
00:25:22.000 Remember there was a lady who wrote a book?
00:25:24.000 She said that she had submitted that book to those brothers that made the matrix, and that is the exact same story.
00:25:30.000 I didn't hear that.
00:25:31.000 And then it went to court.
00:25:33.000 It did go to court?
00:25:33.000 I had to guess.
00:25:34.000 Yeah, it did go to court.
00:25:35.000 It's really interesting similarities.
00:25:37.000 How close?
00:25:38.000 Between what she wrote and the actual thing?
00:25:40.000 I don't remember, because it was quite a few years ago.
00:25:42.000 But I thought maybe you would know about this.
00:25:44.000 Snopes says it's false.
00:25:45.000 Snopes is a Hillary Clinton shill organization designed to keep the white man down.
00:25:51.000 I'll get political, man.
00:25:52.000 This is the one place people should run for politics.
00:25:54.000 It's not even real.
00:25:55.000 It's not real.
00:25:57.000 I saw your Instagram post on election day where you were like, what happened?
00:26:01.000 It was a picture of the results.
00:26:03.000 Yeah, it was amazing.
00:26:03.000 I think that might have been the place where I actually learned of the results.
00:26:07.000 I enjoy chaos to a certain extent, so I'm looking forward to this.
00:26:11.000 I really am.
00:26:12.000 May you live in interesting times, as they say.
00:26:14.000 Yes.
00:26:15.000 I would not have been interested in Hillary Clinton doing the same goddamn thing that she's been doing.
00:26:22.000 And I'm not a big fan of how he behaves as a human.
00:26:25.000 What's up?
00:26:26.000 It's not false that...
00:26:27.000 It's false that she won the large judgment.
00:26:32.000 I guess in 2005 there was a court case and I guess she never showed up to court for her preliminary hearing.
00:26:38.000 Maybe they paid her off.
00:26:40.000 Because she was in the Matrix.
00:26:41.000 Maybe they paid her off.
00:26:41.000 Somebody disconnected her and she was fucking trapped and shit.
00:26:44.000 She saw Kat on the way there twice and she was like, fuck!
00:26:47.000 It's entirely possible that she just got paid.
00:26:51.000 That's the other option.
00:26:52.000 Like, you know, what was she...
00:26:54.000 How much was she necessarily...
00:26:56.000 Was she like, I want half, or was she like, give me 50 grand, I'll go away?
00:26:59.000 That's a good question.
00:27:00.000 But The Matrix, obviously, is a pretty goddamn big movie.
00:27:03.000 Apparently, her story was remarkably close.
00:27:06.000 I mean, look, and I'm not taking anything away from them or her, but, you know, like, there are archetypes in that story.
00:27:14.000 And, like, that movie's brilliant.
00:27:15.000 Of course.
00:27:16.000 But it's like, nobody can...
00:27:18.000 Really go like, well, I've never seen anything like that before.
00:27:22.000 I mean, it is kind of like, go to the Bible, it's a Jesus story on some level, right?
00:27:27.000 Messianic in nature.
00:27:28.000 But if you're talking about, these motherfuckers are in big batteries that power a fucking machine that we're all in and plugs in our head, then it gets very, very close.
00:27:36.000 But even that concept of one day we're going to live in some sort of a virtual reality, that's not a new concept.
00:27:44.000 That concept's been explored.
00:27:46.000 Are you watching Westworld?
00:27:48.000 Oh, yeah.
00:27:50.000 God, it's good.
00:27:51.000 That is discussing that very subject while being vastly entertaining.
00:27:56.000 Amazing.
00:27:56.000 And you're like, oh, my God, this is a great idea.
00:27:58.000 But also, they are going into the idea of consciousness.
00:28:01.000 And there are a few times as you watch that show, not where you're like...
00:28:05.000 Are we in someone's fucking game?
00:28:08.000 But you start sitting there going, everything we know about what we understand to be reality, accept to be reality, is a social contract in many ways.
00:28:17.000 Like ideas and thoughts that we all agree on and stuff about what is real, what is important.
00:28:23.000 That's why when you meet people who are like...
00:28:26.000 Don't want to have kids.
00:28:27.000 You know, some people are like, well, that's fucking weird.
00:28:29.000 It's like, no, their reality is, like, kids are not a part of their reality, never were.
00:28:33.000 Like, it's just not in them and stuff like that.
00:28:36.000 I think, you know, this year with the election we've seen, literally we've seen reality challenged.
00:28:43.000 The thing that we all understood to be apparently was not, and now, you know, things are vastly different.
00:28:51.000 I don't know where I'm going with that.
00:28:53.000 Save me.
00:28:54.000 It's just...
00:28:55.000 The unique thing about it is that we have been living under this illusion that it either had to be one of these people, like a Democrat, or one of these people, or Republican, and that these people are politicians and these are the people that won presidencies.
00:29:12.000 I think, you know, I don't want to...
00:29:14.000 There's a faction out there and I don't want to...
00:29:17.000 We should really just stay away from this.
00:29:19.000 But I will.
00:29:20.000 Look, I'm a guy who always tries to find the silver lining to a situation.
00:29:23.000 So I did not vote for this president, but I did not campaign against this president and stuff.
00:29:28.000 I went another way.
00:29:30.000 It didn't work out.
00:29:31.000 It's not the first election where I voted for somebody that did not win.
00:29:34.000 Right.
00:29:35.000 But being the person I'm, you know, I'm not going to sit there and be like, fuck the next four years.
00:29:40.000 Like, no.
00:29:40.000 Like, you know, I've lived through presidencies that I didn't agree with and things work out.
00:29:45.000 I hope it's going to work out this time, but this is what I'll say.
00:29:50.000 It's new.
00:29:51.000 It's new.
00:29:52.000 And we might see, and I'm not saying burn it all down and see what happens, but...
00:29:57.000 We've had how many years of a two-party system, essentially, where it's like, yeah, there's lip service to a Green Party and lip service to another party, but we, for all intents and purposes, I mean, I know it was claimed by the Republican Party, but we saw...
00:30:10.000 A huge upset of a third party candidate.
00:30:12.000 They didn't want him in.
00:30:14.000 If it happens once, that means it could happen again.
00:30:18.000 There's now a new model.
00:30:19.000 There's a new path.
00:30:20.000 He was always a Democrat his whole life.
00:30:22.000 That's what I thought.
00:30:23.000 Yeah, he was.
00:30:24.000 I grew up in Jersey, so I was very familiar with the man and his work throughout my life and stuff.
00:30:29.000 He was a prominent figure in the press.
00:30:31.000 Always, always.
00:30:32.000 He always seemed very liberal-leaning and Democratic.
00:30:36.000 Well, what he did is essentially...
00:30:38.000 I mean, he played a certain group of people in this country, and he got to this ultimate position in power, and we're not sure.
00:30:46.000 I mean, look, he's 70 years old.
00:30:49.000 You don't think he's a crafty guy?
00:30:51.000 Like, he's probably pretty good at getting people to like him as a certain person, who he really is.
00:30:58.000 Like, I think you probably got to get to know him to find out who the fuck he really is.
00:31:01.000 But also, I honestly feel like, to some degree, and I'm not taking anything away from him, but Anybody could have just popped up and been like...
00:31:10.000 I'm the other person.
00:31:11.000 I'm not her.
00:31:12.000 Right.
00:31:13.000 I'm not him.
00:31:14.000 She carried so much baggage.
00:31:16.000 And that's the thing, too.
00:31:17.000 It was so much.
00:31:19.000 Essentially, the Democratic Party was going, come on, America.
00:31:22.000 Let's vote a woman in.
00:31:24.000 Come on.
00:31:24.000 We just had the black president.
00:31:25.000 That was amazing.
00:31:26.000 Let's have a woman president.
00:31:27.000 And I think if they'd gone with almost any other candidate that didn't have as much baggage, it'd be a different story.
00:31:33.000 But they were asking you to like somebody who I didn't have an issue with, but a lot of people have got a big issue with.
00:31:39.000 If she was a man, it would be a giant problem.
00:31:42.000 But we gave her...
00:31:43.000 What do you mean?
00:31:44.000 Well, if she had all those problems, if she, you know, all the campaign...
00:31:48.000 All those shit.
00:31:49.000 We saw a guy with a lot of problems and he seemed to squeak through.
00:31:49.000 I don't know.
00:31:52.000 But I'm saying if she was a man and she was up against Trump and she had all those problems, she would be crushed.
00:31:59.000 She would have no chance.
00:32:00.000 But because she was a woman...
00:32:01.000 Oh, you think she got further because of that?
00:32:02.000 Oh, 100%.
00:32:03.000 100%.
00:32:03.000 There was a lot of people that wanted to make history.
00:32:06.000 They wanted to make history because, look, from a social standpoint, Barack Obama was very important because here was a super articulate guy who's really calm and he has a very even presence about him, always.
00:32:21.000 You never see him riled up.
00:32:22.000 You never see him crazy.
00:32:24.000 Even he gets heckled.
00:32:25.000 Did you see that thing where the Trump supporter was heckling him and he handled it with grace?
00:32:29.000 He's just a graceful guy.
00:32:31.000 That's probably the best way to describe him.
00:32:35.000 That was important for the country because that represented like, wow, hey, here's this black guy who's super articulate and so calm and so, like, the way he expresses himself is so perfect for a president, so presidential.
00:32:51.000 Like, what a perfect example for our country.
00:32:53.000 This is us.
00:32:55.000 And then I think a lot of people felt like Hillary Clinton would be another one of those things.
00:33:01.000 Like, look, we can have a woman running things.
00:33:04.000 We're not sexist.
00:33:05.000 Like, look, we look, we are a really articulate, incredibly well experienced woman who's been in business for a long time with the government.
00:33:16.000 She's deep inside the public service since she was a teenager.
00:33:19.000 Yes.
00:33:21.000 But it was just too much.
00:33:23.000 It was just too much shit for people.
00:33:25.000 But I think if that was a man and she had all those same problems, it was a man and tied to some foundation that was getting all these people that eventually got arms deals and they donated and they were all part of this weird sort of incestuous political world,
00:33:42.000 a man would be skewered with that same record because Trump was running as an outsider.
00:33:48.000 You know, what he had going against him is he's boorish.
00:33:51.000 He says ridiculous shit.
00:33:53.000 And, you know, they could point to that recording of him talking about grabbing pussies.
00:33:59.000 And they're like, look, look, look who we have here.
00:34:02.000 That was like the big thing against him.
00:34:05.000 But at least to these people that hate the system, he was an outsider.
00:34:09.000 If she was a man, she would have represented even more of it inside her.
00:34:12.000 You know, I think to a lot of people.
00:34:14.000 I think her actions and what she's done in the past versus her as a woman that was like sort of a situation there.
00:34:23.000 You ever see the video where she was talking about Gaddafi being killed?
00:34:27.000 No.
00:34:28.000 It's a crazy video, man, because she's joking around.
00:34:31.000 It's before they interview her, and she goes...
00:34:34.000 It's like before the official interview starts, like she makes a crack about something?
00:34:37.000 She had just found out that Gaddafi had been killed, and she was like laughing about it.
00:34:41.000 She goes, we came, we saw, he died!
00:34:44.000 Ha ha ha!
00:34:46.000 And she throws her head back, and she's laughing.
00:34:48.000 She was kind of hawkish.
00:34:50.000 She was hawkish.
00:34:50.000 Woo!
00:34:51.000 If that was a guy, if a guy did that, he would have been thought to be a fucking serial killer, a sociopath, right?
00:35:00.000 If a guy did that, like, say if Joe Biden, like, we came, we saw, he died.
00:35:00.000 Probably.
00:35:07.000 People would be like, do you want that guy in charge of the fucking nukes?
00:35:12.000 But we let her go.
00:35:13.000 We'll give her a pass.
00:35:14.000 There's a lot of stuff that she's done where people give her a pass.
00:35:17.000 They put a more interesting cat in charge than the nukes.
00:35:21.000 There should be no president.
00:35:22.000 This is what I say.
00:35:24.000 Everybody's like, well, who do you think should be the president if you have a problem with Trump or if you have a problem?
00:35:29.000 No human being should be in control of 350 million human beings.
00:35:34.000 It's a preposterous job.
00:35:34.000 Explain.
00:35:36.000 Explain.
00:35:37.000 There's way too many of us.
00:35:38.000 It's impossible.
00:35:39.000 So then how would it be done?
00:35:40.000 We don't have to do it this way.
00:35:42.000 No doubt.
00:35:43.000 What's the idea?
00:35:44.000 I don't have one.
00:35:45.000 But we can't have an alpha champ.
00:35:46.000 Let's figure it out right here.
00:35:47.000 We're smart.
00:35:48.000 The internet.
00:35:49.000 What about...
00:35:50.000 Education, the internet, mind reading.
00:35:52.000 Well, essentially, does it come down to...
00:35:54.000 What was that movie with the girl who shoots bows and arrows and shit?
00:35:59.000 Oh, Hunger Games?
00:36:00.000 Hunger Games.
00:36:01.000 Can we district the country and then there are heads of district or same thing?
00:36:05.000 We'll go to war with each other.
00:36:07.000 Alright, so that's gone.
00:36:07.000 You're absolutely right.
00:36:07.000 Can't do that.
00:36:08.000 This is a think tank, kids.
00:36:09.000 This is how it happens.
00:36:10.000 You gotta throw out every idea to get there.
00:36:12.000 That was one.
00:36:13.000 Even states are problematic.
00:36:15.000 So then what is...
00:36:16.000 Because people are like, fuck Utah, this is Texas, son.
00:36:18.000 That exists.
00:36:18.000 That's true.
00:36:19.000 I grew up in New Jersey and New York hated us.
00:36:22.000 Fucking everybody hates everybody.
00:36:23.000 We hated Boston.
00:36:24.000 Oh yeah, you hated Pennsylvania, New York hated Boston.
00:36:24.000 We hated Pennsylvania.
00:36:27.000 Connecticut got a pass.
00:36:28.000 Okay, so states...
00:36:29.000 Connecticut's like some little kid with a limp.
00:36:30.000 Like, ah, don't pick on them.
00:36:31.000 Well, so Connecticut doesn't get mentioned in the tri-state area.
00:36:34.000 Whenever they did commercials, it would be like, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania.
00:36:38.000 I didn't know...
00:36:38.000 I thought Connecticut was New Hampshire until years and years later.
00:36:38.000 Exactly.
00:36:42.000 Connecticut is a highway.
00:36:43.000 It's a highway between Boston and New York.
00:36:45.000 Spoken like a poet.
00:36:46.000 Connecticut's a highway.
00:36:47.000 Everyone in Connecticut's like, fuck you!
00:36:49.000 They are, like, fuck you.
00:36:50.000 But you know what I'm talking about, bitch.
00:36:52.000 Bitch, you know I'm right.
00:36:53.000 All right, wait.
00:36:54.000 No states, because we'd war with each other.
00:36:57.000 Yeah.
00:36:58.000 Somebody has to govern, no?
00:37:00.000 They have to be police and shit like that.
00:37:02.000 I think the best way to probably handle it is let every human being have a say.
00:37:09.000 Every human being that's of adult age.
00:37:11.000 And I think registering to vote should be just as fucking easy as getting an email.
00:37:16.000 It should be just as easy as doing everything else that you do online.
00:37:20.000 You got a Twitter handle?
00:37:21.000 You should be able to vote.
00:37:22.000 You should be able to use your ID, whoever you are, whatever your name is, call yourself whoever the fuck you want.
00:37:30.000 That is one individual vote.
00:37:33.000 That's what I think.
00:37:34.000 And I think as long as we can figure out how to make that system pure, where people can't hack into it, you can't log in from 15 different computers, if you have a fucking birth certificate and your birth certificate aligns with this number and that's this and this is you, as long as they can figure out how to make it so people don't hack into it,
00:37:50.000 everybody who's an adult should be allowed to vote.
00:37:53.000 What are we voting for, though?
00:37:54.000 What are we voting for?
00:37:54.000 Including people that have gone to jail.
00:37:56.000 I think people that have gone to jail.
00:37:57.000 The idea that someone goes to jail for four years, and now they can't vote for the rest of their life, I think that's fucking crazy, too.
00:38:02.000 That's ridiculous.
00:38:03.000 Especially you pay your debt to society back, and you should be able to reenter society.
00:38:07.000 Exactly.
00:38:08.000 You tell them you can't be a 20-year-old and do something stupid and rob somebody or something, and then I'm supposed to think of you a certain way for the rest of your life?
00:38:16.000 You're 80 now.
00:38:17.000 You robbed somebody when you were 20. That's still you?
00:38:20.000 You're a dangerous man talking about tearing down institutions.
00:38:23.000 But institutions are a problem no matter what.
00:38:26.000 They're always a problem.
00:38:27.000 I think the real issue is government, right, governing us.
00:38:32.000 So the real issue is what everybody wants is safety Security, protection, and unity.
00:38:39.000 That's what everybody wants.
00:38:40.000 All the other stuff, in terms of restrictions on your behavior, we have to just figure it out, cut it down the middle between hurts other people and hurts yourself.
00:38:49.000 And hurts yourself?
00:38:51.000 You're on your own.
00:38:52.000 Just like you're on your own with rock climbing, just like you're on your own with bungee joping.
00:38:56.000 So wait, give me an example of hurts yourself, like doing heroin.
00:39:00.000 You're on your own.
00:39:01.000 It's a choice.
00:39:01.000 It's a hobby.
00:39:02.000 You're on your own.
00:39:02.000 In high school, they'd call it an elective.
00:39:04.000 Yeah.
00:39:05.000 Yeah.
00:39:05.000 How come you could just go to the roof and jump off, but you can't do heroin?
00:39:10.000 Like, no one will stop you.
00:39:12.000 You can go to your roof and practice backflips off your fucking roof.
00:39:14.000 You're making so much sense.
00:39:15.000 I'm ready to boot, dude.
00:39:16.000 I'm ready to fucking jack a needle in my 12-gauge it right now.
00:39:19.000 When you have people telling other people what to do, you've got a tyranny.
00:39:24.000 You've got a fucking problem.
00:39:26.000 Even if they sort of can get away with it because it's written down on paper, did you agree to it?
00:39:31.000 No.
00:39:32.000 Nobody asked you about child labor laws.
00:39:36.000 No one's pulled you aside.
00:39:38.000 I haven't had a say in that for years since I was a child.
00:39:40.000 No one's pulled you aside and you've decided with them how old you should be when you drink.
00:39:47.000 No, it's all been done.
00:39:50.000 Most people don't have a say.
00:39:51.000 It's all written down somewhere.
00:39:53.000 And the amount of people that vote versus the amount of people that are affected by that vote, completely disproportionate.
00:39:59.000 It's really weird, man.
00:40:01.000 It's really weird.
00:40:02.000 We have a ton of systems that are set up completely to do two things.
00:40:07.000 One, to control people.
00:40:09.000 And two, to ensure the survival of these systems.
00:40:12.000 And that's what bureaucracy is.
00:40:13.000 That's a giant problem with government.
00:40:15.000 Like the DEA. The DEA wants so badly to keep arresting people for marijuana.
00:40:21.000 Because if they don't, they don't have jobs.
00:40:23.000 I'm just going to light up.
00:40:23.000 I'm like, I better not light up right now.
00:40:24.000 It's perfect timing again.
00:40:25.000 Dude, you and I are in sync.
00:40:27.000 What do you mean?
00:40:28.000 Why?
00:40:29.000 Because they have jobs.
00:40:30.000 Their jobs are going to go away.
00:40:31.000 There's plenty of other drugs.
00:40:32.000 Dude, there's so little.
00:40:34.000 46% of all arrests, they said, what was the number?
00:40:39.000 More people have been arrested today for marijuana than all other arrests combined.
00:40:49.000 You see me smoking, man.
00:40:50.000 You want me watching the door for the next hour where I'm like, what is that?
00:40:54.000 I heard a noise.
00:40:55.000 What are you doing?
00:40:56.000 But we live in the correct state, right?
00:40:58.000 Yeah, right now.
00:40:58.000 Tell me I'm right.
00:40:59.000 Well, we live in several correct states.
00:41:01.000 If you're going to scare me, then throw me a dick tickle a little bit.
00:41:05.000 Like, tell me everything's going to be okay.
00:41:07.000 Okay.
00:41:09.000 We're here, Washington State, Oregon, Washington, D.C. One large smoking section.
00:41:15.000 Washington, D.C. and Boston now, Massachusetts.
00:41:18.000 And Florida is medical, not legal.
00:41:21.000 Yeah, a bunch of medical.
00:41:22.000 Huge step, though, for Florida.
00:41:23.000 What are the other legal states?
00:41:24.000 Alaska?
00:41:25.000 Alaska's legal.
00:41:26.000 Fuck yeah, Alaska.
00:41:28.000 Are gangsters to the north?
00:41:31.000 I love Alaska.
00:41:33.000 Do you believe the theory that as goes California, so goes the union?
00:41:39.000 Like, for years they said, if California goes legal, there you go.
00:41:45.000 That's interesting.
00:41:46.000 I think there's going to be states that resist it still.
00:41:48.000 There's guys like that Jeff Sessions guy who's coming into office with Trump who could be an issue, but I don't think he will be because I think Trump is a- A business person.
00:41:57.000 Yeah, he's a business person.
00:41:58.000 He's not just a business person.
00:41:59.000 He's a populist, right?
00:42:00.000 He's going to want people to like him.
00:42:03.000 And it doesn't make sense.
00:42:04.000 It's not a logical move.
00:42:06.000 As weird as he is, he's not illogical.
00:42:09.000 Hillary Clinton was illogical, and this is why I say that.
00:42:12.000 Because I got a lot of shit from people that are super pro, hashtag I'm with her.
00:42:16.000 And I'm like, look, man, she didn't support gay marriage until 2013. Do you know how crazy that is?
00:42:24.000 Until 2013, Hillary Clinton was saying that she believes that marriage was between a man and a woman.
00:42:30.000 It was a sacred union, and it should be protected.
00:42:33.000 So it's one of two things.
00:42:34.000 Either she actually believed that, or she was in bed with people who were forcing her to behave that way or say that.
00:42:39.000 Or she thought that she had to say that in order to get elected.
00:42:42.000 Either way, you're not getting an authentic person.
00:42:45.000 Either way, no!
00:42:45.000 No!
00:42:47.000 You can't be a part of that.
00:42:49.000 I attended my first...
00:42:51.000 Gay wedding in 1994, right before Clerks came out.
00:42:55.000 My brother married his husband, Jerry.
00:42:56.000 They're still married to this day.
00:42:57.000 Whoa.
00:42:58.000 So they've been married for 22 years, which is like 108 years in straight people years.
00:43:03.000 Yeah, man.
00:43:03.000 That's deep.
00:43:04.000 Because part of going outside the box is like, I don't have to live like the normies, man.
00:43:08.000 I could just...
00:43:09.000 Yeah, I can't even get you pregnant, bitch.
00:43:11.000 I can roam this earth like fucking Cain in Kung Fu.
00:43:15.000 But they've been committed to each other and been in marriage for like a long, long time.
00:43:19.000 And the best...
00:43:20.000 Thing about that wedding.
00:43:21.000 Like, it was great.
00:43:21.000 Number one, seeing my brother happy and get married and stuff.
00:43:25.000 But, like, part of the wedding when the shit gets slow and you're like, oh, man, let's get out of here.
00:43:31.000 You know, and it's just middle, midway.
00:43:31.000 Yeah.
00:43:34.000 Once everyone's toast to everybody, the dancing's beginning.
00:43:36.000 That's not for everybody.
00:43:37.000 A drag show started.
00:43:39.000 Oh, beautiful.
00:43:40.000 Like, all of a sudden, Donna Summer and Diana Ross came down the staircase, and it wasn't a real thing.
00:43:45.000 But, boy, they fucking looked it and put on a huge show.
00:43:48.000 And my father was still alive, and he just had a heart attack at that point, or a couple heart attacks, stroke as well.
00:43:54.000 Two heart attacks and a couple strokes.
00:43:56.000 So he walked to the cane, and one of his hands was like Bob Dole, like, just kind of hanging there and stuff like that.
00:44:03.000 So him and my mom are at this gig at my brother's wedding.
00:44:07.000 And there we are, like, on the dance floor watching the drag show.
00:44:13.000 And, you know, the performers are lip syncing, like, famous songs.
00:44:17.000 And my mom was, she had a lot of drinks in her.
00:44:21.000 My mom is, like, fucking boogieing and shit.
00:44:23.000 She's got, like, you know, extra fucking weight, like every Smith.
00:44:27.000 And so, you know, she's jiggling here and there and stuff like that in her sleeveless dress.
00:44:31.000 My old man was dressed in, like, a suit that didn't fucking match.
00:44:35.000 She just put it together and shit like that.
00:44:37.000 But he had his hand on my mom's back and with his weak hand was kind of leaning on the can but using her more for stability.
00:44:46.000 So his hand's on her back while she's dancing and stuff.
00:44:49.000 And I watched, you know, I'm standing right behind him.
00:44:52.000 I watched through the course of the fucking song, my old man's hand slide down my mom's back, then spin in a pretty fluid motion for a guy who had a couple strokes, and go right for the ass cup.
00:45:05.000 And not stop on cheek, son, but dive deep, spelunking for gold.
00:45:10.000 Like, he went right inside and cupped it like this shit's mine.
00:45:14.000 Jesus Christ.
00:45:16.000 And I will never forget that.
00:45:17.000 I told my brother, I was like, my God, like, you don't realize that's never going to happen in any other wedding but yours, man.
00:45:24.000 Like, my father was just like, I'm free, motherfucker.
00:45:26.000 And he started grabbing his wife, my mother.
00:45:29.000 Now, they were married, so that's okay.
00:45:31.000 She wanted it.
00:45:32.000 She didn't fight him.
00:45:32.000 She was just like...
00:45:34.000 She was...
00:45:35.000 I've had discussions with my mother since about that night.
00:45:39.000 Because now I'm a grown adult and stuff.
00:45:40.000 You talk to her about getting scooped?
00:45:42.000 Of course, dude.
00:45:42.000 Of course.
00:45:43.000 I don't want to leave this earth not knowing.
00:45:45.000 It's like, you know, I don't want to have a propriety relationship with my mother.
00:45:48.000 I've had her on the podcast.
00:45:49.000 We talk about shit.
00:45:50.000 But I asked.
00:45:51.000 I was like, Dad, you guys looked randy that night.
00:45:53.000 Did you guys have sex?
00:45:54.000 She said, oh, yes.
00:45:55.000 And I was like, I knew it!
00:45:57.000 I knew it!
00:45:58.000 Randy.
00:46:00.000 Randy's a weird word.
00:46:01.000 What if your name was Randy?
00:46:02.000 You'd be all bummed out that people expect to be horny all the time.
00:46:04.000 My dad's name was Randy.
00:46:05.000 She's like, I feel Randy all the time.
00:46:06.000 I feel him in certain places.
00:46:08.000 Where were we?
00:46:11.000 Grabbing pussies.
00:46:12.000 President.
00:46:14.000 Pops grabbing pussies.
00:46:15.000 Oh, people that aren't truthful.
00:46:17.000 And this is like another thing I want to say to people that think that I hate him.
00:46:21.000 Oh man, you just will not leave the politics alone.
00:46:24.000 It's your show, go ahead.
00:46:25.000 It's not even a politics thing.
00:46:27.000 It's a human thing.
00:46:28.000 I think we owe ourselves, as human beings, to not accept Like, blatant lies.
00:46:37.000 And I don't think it's good for her either.
00:46:39.000 I don't think it's good for everybody.
00:46:41.000 I mean, the rub is supposed to be that once you're in your 60s or something like that, that you're done.
00:46:45.000 You're done developing.
00:46:46.000 You're done growing.
00:46:47.000 Is that true?
00:46:48.000 I don't think so.
00:46:48.000 I don't know.
00:46:49.000 I think you're alive.
00:46:50.000 If you're alive, you're a person.
00:46:51.000 But we have categories of people, right?
00:46:53.000 We have people that were 20, oh, he's young, he's stupid, he made a mistake.
00:46:57.000 And then we have categories, like, in your 60, oh, you're never going to learn anything.
00:47:02.000 You're done developing.
00:47:03.000 They're stubborn.
00:47:04.000 They're stuck in their ways.
00:47:05.000 Let's just accept the fact that she lies all the time.
00:47:08.000 There's this video of when they were talking about the emails, and there's a video of the director of the FBI talking versus her talking.
00:47:16.000 She would say what the director said, and then he would say what he really said.
00:47:19.000 It was ridiculous.
00:47:20.000 It's like you see that she's being dishonest.
00:47:24.000 That's not good for anybody, man.
00:47:26.000 It's not good for her.
00:47:27.000 It's not good for us.
00:47:28.000 And I think for a person like her, This is probably just a system that she's been competing in forever.
00:47:35.000 And that's how this system operates.
00:47:37.000 And she's really good at it.
00:47:38.000 And she was a lawyer.
00:47:39.000 And she knows what you can say and what you can't say and how you can kind of distort things to make them seem like they were better than they were.
00:47:47.000 We're still talking about her at this point?
00:47:49.000 Because that sounds like him as well.
00:47:49.000 Yeah.
00:47:51.000 Well, all of them.
00:47:52.000 But doing that, when you do that, when you do that and we see that, that's not good for us if we say yes to that.
00:47:58.000 It's bad for us.
00:47:59.000 It's bad for us as a culture.
00:48:01.000 No, not as a nation.
00:48:03.000 Just as a group of human beings where one person at a very high level is supposed to be expressing for us.
00:48:09.000 Like, if you're going to be the person who's expressing things for us...
00:48:12.000 But don't you think that's impossible?
00:48:13.000 Exactly.
00:48:14.000 That's why we can't have a president.
00:48:17.000 So then what's the, do you have a binary presidency?
00:48:20.000 Yes.
00:48:21.000 One president who speaks for one half, one president who speaks for the other half?
00:48:25.000 No, I don't think we should have a president, man.
00:48:26.000 Because then you're back to warring factions.
00:48:27.000 I don't think we should have a unique individual or even a small group that runs this thing.
00:48:33.000 I think it's crazy.
00:48:34.000 How was it done before we got here?
00:48:35.000 The problem is it was done in small groups because everybody was a small group.
00:48:35.000 Native Americans.
00:48:40.000 There were tribes.
00:48:41.000 And even if you came over on a boat, you came over on a boat with all those other psychopaths that were willing to hop across the ocean with you.
00:48:49.000 How many could get on the boat?
00:48:50.000 A thousand?
00:48:50.000 I mean, what's the most amount of people they had on one of those boats?
00:48:54.000 Why don't you Google that?
00:48:55.000 It's true.
00:48:56.000 You've got to really have a sense of adventure to get over.
00:48:58.000 You gotta be a crazy person, right?
00:49:01.000 And really hate it where you are.
00:49:03.000 Small towns, small groups, little villages.
00:49:06.000 I mean, that's essentially why we had representative government in the first place.
00:49:08.000 Because these guys in Utah couldn't really talk to the guys in D.C. Like, somebody had to talk for you.
00:49:13.000 You're over there.
00:49:14.000 It would take you months to get there.
00:49:15.000 So they have to decide how the fucking thing runs.
00:49:18.000 So you have to vote in your little spot.
00:49:19.000 And this guy sends his vote.
00:49:21.000 102 passengers.
00:49:23.000 Jesus Christ, that's no one.
00:49:25.000 Which one?
00:49:25.000 The Mayflower.
00:49:25.000 On which one?
00:49:26.000 102 passengers.
00:49:28.000 That's it?
00:49:29.000 Half died the first winter.
00:49:30.000 Half died the first winter.
00:49:32.000 They got here with 102 and 51 made it?
00:49:33.000 Holy shit!
00:49:35.000 Half died the first winter.
00:49:37.000 They fucking froze to death.
00:49:39.000 Just think about that when you're like, how come I can't fucking get Wi-Fi in the subway train?
00:49:43.000 Oh my god!
00:49:44.000 102 people sailed the ocean blue.
00:49:46.000 Oh my god, that's insane.
00:49:47.000 And it probably was blue back then.
00:49:48.000 And then came here with an idea of like, let's start America.
00:49:52.000 Yeah, imagine what the ocean was like back then.
00:49:54.000 Probably amazing.
00:49:55.000 None of those little beads that make those weird plastic bead islands out in the middle.
00:49:59.000 You ever seen those?
00:50:00.000 No, yeah, I have seen that.
00:50:01.000 Hauntingly beautiful, but terrifying.
00:50:02.000 Very disturbing.
00:50:03.000 Yeah, and birds choke on it and shit.
00:50:05.000 I read an article that said that seagulls are...
00:50:08.000 Birds in general are attracted to the smell of plastic.
00:50:10.000 Well, I've read something they're saying because a lot of plastic has food on it.
00:50:15.000 Like even if it's like in a microscopic small amount.
00:50:17.000 That would make more sense to me, yeah.
00:50:19.000 Yeah, well a lot of our plastic comes in contact with food for sure.
00:50:22.000 But I read another thing about a certain type of bird that lives on this one island where it's a real epidemic that these mama birds are bringing back plastic and feeding it to their babies.
00:50:33.000 Oh my god.
00:50:34.000 Yeah, there's these babies.
00:50:36.000 It's awful.
00:50:36.000 It's like a supervillain plot.
00:50:37.000 There's these bodies of these birds, and their stomachs are filled with plastic.
00:50:42.000 And, you know, they're rotting.
00:50:43.000 Their bodies are decomposing, and the plastic is just sitting there exposed.
00:50:48.000 Yeah, it's super dark.
00:50:50.000 Can we talk about something?
00:50:52.000 Well, I was in Hawaii recently, Matt, and I was with this dude.
00:50:56.000 This is not a very positive thing either, unfortunately.
00:50:59.000 Yeah.
00:50:59.000 He's been a commercial fisherman for a long time.
00:51:02.000 His name is Steve.
00:51:03.000 Shout out to Steve.
00:51:04.000 Steve and Scooter took me out fishing.
00:51:07.000 But when we were fishing, he was telling me that he's been doing this forever.
00:51:12.000 And he lived in Costa Rica and ran a fishing camp out there.
00:51:16.000 And now he's doing it out of Hawaii.
00:51:19.000 And I was like, well, how much of a difference have you seen over the last few years?
00:51:23.000 He goes, oh, it's huge.
00:51:24.000 It's a huge difference.
00:51:26.000 He's like, between now and 10, 20 years ago, 30 years ago, the amount of fish.
00:51:29.000 He's like, it's just totally different.
00:51:32.000 Less fish.
00:51:33.000 Way less fish.
00:51:34.000 And then he sort of explained to me all the different methods that these commercial fishing corporations use.
00:51:42.000 That how they go like hundreds of miles off sea.
00:51:45.000 They have these massive nets.
00:51:47.000 They capture these tuna and they can them on the boat.
00:51:54.000 Like, they have this system.
00:51:55.000 That's pretty fast.
00:51:56.000 And they're just thousands and thousands of pounds of tuna.
00:52:00.000 Just scooping it up, killing them, canning them.
00:52:03.000 Like, you don't think about it when you go to the store and you see canned tuna.
00:52:06.000 You think, I'd like some canned tuna.
00:52:08.000 Ooh, I remember Starkist.
00:52:10.000 I could go for a tuna salad sandwich.
00:52:12.000 Sorry, Charlie.
00:52:12.000 With whole wheat and some nice alfalfa sprouts on that.
00:52:16.000 Maybe a little cheese.
00:52:17.000 What's the best tuna?
00:52:18.000 Chicken of the sea.
00:52:20.000 Or how about a grilled cheese sandwich with tuna where you butter the outside of the bread and you put some tomato on that bitch and you put some tuna and you put a bunch of slices of sharp cheddar and you cook that shit?
00:52:32.000 Come on, man.
00:52:33.000 Well, the problem is you've surrounded the meal with so many cool adjectives.
00:52:37.000 Yeah.
00:52:38.000 It's a melt.
00:52:38.000 And made it sumptuous that we forgot.
00:52:40.000 And the heart of it is a dead fish.
00:52:40.000 It's a melt.
00:52:42.000 Killed at sea and canned at sea.
00:52:44.000 With relatives looking up going like, there's hell.
00:52:44.000 Dude.
00:52:47.000 Hell on a boat.
00:52:48.000 I don't know what kind of bitch-ass shit you're talking about.
00:52:49.000 I'm talking about a tuna melt.
00:52:51.000 That's a delicious American sandwich.
00:52:53.000 What the fuck?
00:52:54.000 Truly American sandwich.
00:52:55.000 This guy, he was describing it to me, and I was seeing it in my mind like a horror film playing out.
00:53:01.000 I was seeing it in my mind like that.
00:53:03.000 Obviously, the ocean's giant.
00:53:05.000 It's gigantic.
00:53:06.000 But it's been going on, these large-scale efforts for so long that it's just chop, chop, chopping away at the number of fish.
00:53:15.000 And he was really scared of it.
00:53:18.000 He was really scared of it.
00:53:19.000 He was like, I just don't know how much longer it's gonna last.
00:53:22.000 So there could be an end to fish in our lifetime?
00:53:25.000 Well, there's a lot of speculation that by 2050, we literally would have killed most of the fish in the sea.
00:53:32.000 If we continue escalating the way we have from 1960 to 2016, population now 7 billion, let's just assume it's going to double by 2050. I don't know what the number is.
00:53:45.000 What's the projected population by 2050?
00:53:48.000 I gotta imagine it's double.
00:53:50.000 You ask the most interesting questions, right?
00:53:51.000 Is that a weird thing?
00:53:52.000 I always ask people shit like, who's that guy who played that wizard once?
00:53:56.000 I asked that too.
00:53:57.000 And you're like, what's the population going to be by the year 2050?
00:54:01.000 It's like you're making big decisions now.
00:54:03.000 Almost 10 billion, so I was off by quite a bit.
00:54:06.000 There can't be enough fish in the ocean for that, right?
00:54:08.000 11 billion by 2100. Oh, Jesus.
00:54:13.000 9.7 billion in 2050. There's not enough fish.
00:54:17.000 There's no way.
00:54:18.000 Does it go to Soylent Green?
00:54:20.000 Like, we gotta start consuming the dead?
00:54:22.000 Well, they have a method now, apparently, where they can make petri dish, you know, like...
00:54:30.000 Stem cell created meat.
00:54:31.000 I don't know how the fuck they do it.
00:54:33.000 I have zero understanding of the process.
00:54:35.000 But I know that they did it a long time ago and it was so expensive that they did it like one cheeseburger would have cost like a quarter million dollars.
00:54:43.000 Like so expensive to produce.
00:54:45.000 But it was more of like sort of a test subject.
00:54:48.000 Like, okay, now we know that we can do this.
00:54:50.000 Let's make the process more efficient.
00:54:52.000 Let's figure out how to large scale.
00:54:53.000 Let's bring that cost down, people.
00:54:55.000 A quarter of a million is a lot.
00:54:56.000 But if they can do that, they can literally grow meat with no body.
00:55:00.000 There won't be a body attached to the meat.
00:55:02.000 It would just be meat.
00:55:03.000 I don't understand how it works, so I don't understand, like, what do you fuel that meat with?
00:55:07.000 Like, how does it grow?
00:55:08.000 Like, what is it eating while it's growing?
00:55:11.000 It has to take something in in order to get larger.
00:55:13.000 It's not just pulling air out and getting bigger.
00:55:15.000 So what are you feeding it, and how does that work, and is that ethical?
00:55:18.000 Can we watch?
00:55:19.000 Yeah.
00:55:20.000 Can we watch?
00:55:21.000 Can you animate it?
00:55:22.000 Can we see how that shit works, yes.
00:55:22.000 Can you suck my dick?
00:55:24.000 How far can you take this meat?
00:55:25.000 How warm is it?
00:55:27.000 There's a lot of questions that we would want to ask, but that's some Westworld shit.
00:55:31.000 If you can make a leg of a fucking cow, you can make a leg of a fucking person.
00:55:36.000 You can just do it.
00:55:37.000 It just takes some time.
00:55:38.000 I know a guy with a metal femur.
00:55:40.000 He has an artificial femur.
00:55:42.000 He got bone cancer.
00:55:43.000 And so one of his legs is like a bone.
00:55:46.000 Like a metal rod that goes down to his knee.
00:55:49.000 Like they replaced his femur with a bone, with a metal bone.
00:55:55.000 Like they can start doing that to the whole body, which means if you can make some sort of a nervous system, you're like halfway to a person.
00:56:05.000 You can make meat, and you can make artificial bones.
00:56:08.000 You make an artificial skeleton, you cover it with meat.
00:56:11.000 You've got a Westworld thing going on here.
00:56:13.000 That's true.
00:56:14.000 They can make hearts now.
00:56:15.000 Well, they have.
00:56:16.000 They showed you the Westworld characters underneath their skin.
00:56:19.000 It's all robotics.
00:56:20.000 What you're talking about is an organic form of...
00:56:22.000 Yeah, I think the Westworld thing is a little off on how it's going to go down.
00:56:26.000 I think it's probably going to go down.
00:56:28.000 I think this fucking HBO show got it wrong.
00:56:30.000 I think they're bullshitting us, okay?
00:56:32.000 I think it's a part of the elite strategy.
00:56:34.000 They figured out a way to make a human heart in a Petri dish.
00:56:38.000 A fucking beating human heart with stem cells.
00:56:42.000 Yeah, see if you can find that.
00:56:43.000 Is this associated at all?
00:56:44.000 It's insane.
00:56:45.000 To the Russian scientists or the German scientists, the ones who used to cut off dog heads and feed it and shit?
00:56:51.000 Oh, I'm sure.
00:56:51.000 I saw this today.
00:56:52.000 It's a stem cell gun that helps burn victims heal burns in days, it says.
00:56:52.000 Did you ever see that?
00:56:57.000 I've seen that.
00:56:58.000 I've seen that.
00:56:59.000 It's insane.
00:57:00.000 It sprays stem cells like a little mister.
00:57:04.000 Those stem cells cling to the tissue especially like when they're recently injured and it heals up super quick.
00:57:12.000 Holy crap It's fucking crazy, dude.
00:57:17.000 I mean that was one of the most devastating injuries a person can get because it's a giant organ Like a big burn like that is devastating 90 minutes.
00:57:26.000 That's insane permanent results within days As the stem cells regenerate the skin, leaving no scars.
00:57:33.000 Fucking A, man.
00:57:34.000 Now, if you're giving your own stem cells, nobody can get all shitty about that, right?
00:57:37.000 Well, the stem cells that they're using now, they can get them from women when they have cesarean sections.
00:57:41.000 They take it out of the placenta.
00:57:43.000 I've had it shot into my shoulder.
00:57:45.000 I had a shoulder injury.
00:57:46.000 I had it shot into my shoulder, and, dude, you heal like Wolverine.
00:57:49.000 It's the craziest fucking thing ever.
00:57:51.000 It was, like, that close to getting shoulder surgery.
00:57:54.000 I had this real issue with my shoulder.
00:57:56.000 Like, probably...
00:57:57.000 I probably dislocated it at some point in time and I didn't know.
00:58:00.000 And then just years of doing jujitsu and lifting weights and fighting out of arm bars and shit.
00:58:06.000 It was just always bothering me.
00:58:08.000 So I go to a doctor, I get an MRI. And he says, man, he goes, you got a tear here.
00:58:14.000 You got a tear here.
00:58:15.000 You got a tear in your labrum.
00:58:16.000 You got a tear in your biceps tendon.
00:58:18.000 Like, you know, you might need surgery.
00:58:20.000 Like, see how long you can go now.
00:58:24.000 Just do a little rehab.
00:58:25.000 And, you know, and if it gets to a point where it's unmanageable, then you go under the knife.
00:58:30.000 So I go and it's always annoying me.
00:58:32.000 Like, it was always gnawing at me.
00:58:34.000 And then I go and get these shots in my shoulder.
00:58:36.000 And, like, three weeks later, I'm like, am I imagining this?
00:58:39.000 Or does this fucking thing feel great all of a sudden?
00:58:41.000 Wait, but you skipped over the big step.
00:58:43.000 How do you get to the shots in the shoulder?
00:58:44.000 Was the doctor like, you try this?
00:58:46.000 The UFC doctor.
00:58:47.000 The UFC doctor who had had Dr. Davidson had shoulder surgery.
00:58:52.000 And after shoulder surgery, he was still in pain months, months later.
00:58:56.000 And he went and got these stem cell shots.
00:58:59.000 And he said within weeks, his shoulder felt amazing.
00:59:02.000 It was crazy.
00:59:04.000 Who tells him about that?
00:59:06.000 He's a doctor.
00:59:07.000 So he's just up on the latest stuff.
00:59:08.000 So in the doctor community, they're like, yeah, these are stem cells that aren't good to get you yelled at.
00:59:12.000 A lot of pro athletes are doing it.
00:59:14.000 And they're doing it to help.
00:59:15.000 And do they take them from their body or no?
00:59:16.000 You can.
00:59:17.000 There's a bunch of different ways to do it.
00:59:18.000 You can get it from your own fat.
00:59:20.000 They suck your fat out.
00:59:21.000 They do a lipo on you.
00:59:22.000 Oh my god, I'll live forever if that's the case.
00:59:24.000 Dude, just keep sucking it out and you go intravenous with the stem cells.
00:59:26.000 Sucking it out, intravenous with the stem cells.
00:59:28.000 It's more than that.
00:59:29.000 Boom.
00:59:30.000 Say it again.
00:59:31.000 Do it again.
00:59:32.000 Because I'm going home getting a needle.
00:59:34.000 I'm just stabbing myself a million times.
00:59:34.000 That's illegal right now in America.
00:59:35.000 That's illegal right now in America.
00:59:37.000 To pull it out of fat cells?
00:59:39.000 To intravenously inject it back into your body.
00:59:39.000 No, no, no.
00:59:43.000 It's supposed to have some magnificent effect.
00:59:45.000 What?
00:59:46.000 Intravenous stem cell injections.
00:59:48.000 Explain the process.
00:59:48.000 Into your whole body.
00:59:49.000 Like intravenous, like a drug, like heroin.
00:59:51.000 They can somehow or another do that with stem cells, and you're like, I've known two people that have done it, Bas Rutten and Dan Bilzerian.
00:59:57.000 They're both like, holy shit, this was amazing.
01:00:00.000 Bas said it felt like he had energy coming off his fingers.
01:00:03.000 He was like, dude.
01:00:04.000 He was like, my whole body was like, charged!
01:00:06.000 This is as close as we get to superhuman ability.
01:00:09.000 But it's with our own stem cells?
01:00:11.000 With your own stem cells.
01:00:12.000 You can do it with your own stem cells.
01:00:14.000 That's one method.
01:00:15.000 Another method that another friend of mine did is they drilled into the bone in his hip and they pulled marrow out and used that marrow, used the stem cells from his hip marrow and then injected that into his knee and it had a pretty remarkable effect too.
01:00:30.000 The opinion is divided over which stem cell therapy is the most effective.
01:00:37.000 But one of them that seems to be very effective is one that I did, and that's with cesarean section.
01:00:42.000 They take a woman who's given birth by cesarean section, and if they're young, I think they have to be within a certain age limit, then they take their placenta and they extract stem cells from the placenta.
01:00:53.000 And then they have some sort of a process that I'll never understand, and then they inject the stem cells into the injury itself.
01:00:59.000 And your body starts regenerating tissue.
01:01:02.000 So that's the difference between this and any other sort of form of therapy, is that it actually allows your body to regenerate tissue.
01:01:11.000 So things that are torn can actually heal and thicken and strengthen, like you're seeing with those burn victims.
01:01:17.000 Again, don't listen to me because I don't know what the fuck I'm talking about.
01:01:19.000 I just know how it's been explained to me.
01:01:21.000 But it had a pretty profound effect.
01:01:25.000 So if you've got nothing wrong with you, And you just inject stem cells.
01:01:30.000 That's where the dude was like, woo!
01:01:32.000 Yeah.
01:01:32.000 Well, he had something wrong with him, though.
01:01:34.000 He was recovering from a pretty serious injury.
01:01:36.000 Boss Rootin was, at least.
01:01:38.000 But yeah.
01:01:39.000 Well, one of the things they're finding out is that with mice, they're taking the blood of young mice and they're injecting it in older mice.
01:01:49.000 And these older mice start acting like young mice again.
01:01:52.000 And they start literally going back in age.
01:01:55.000 And this is some crazy vampire shit.
01:01:58.000 It really is, dude.
01:01:59.000 That's very close, isn't it?
01:02:00.000 It's totally vampire shit.
01:02:02.000 First off, The Blood of Young Mice is an excellent fucking novel.
01:02:06.000 I think we got your next movie, bro.
01:02:07.000 The Blood of Young Mice is your next movie?
01:02:10.000 Or a punk rock band.
01:02:11.000 It's a great idea for a movie gone wrong, right?
01:02:16.000 Well, you're talking to the guy who made Tusk.
01:02:16.000 Heavens, yeah.
01:02:18.000 Yeah, I could say I could make that work.
01:02:19.000 Do you know who Elizabeth Bathory is?
01:02:21.000 Elizabeth Bathory is like one of the most infamous serial killers in human history.
01:02:21.000 No.
01:02:26.000 And her gig was she would kill young women and bathe in their blood.
01:02:30.000 In their blood.
01:02:30.000 Okay, then I did hear about it.
01:02:31.000 She was a noblewoman.
01:02:33.000 And where was she from?
01:02:37.000 Slovakia?
01:02:37.000 What?
01:02:38.000 Hungary?
01:02:38.000 Hungary?
01:02:39.000 And she just killed a ton of pretty girls.
01:02:44.000 She would go find these peasant girls and bring them back to her castle, torture them, kill them, and cut them up.
01:02:48.000 And all the people that worked with her are just horrified by her because she just had like a dungeon of dead women.
01:02:54.000 And she would just slaughter them and then bathe in their blood.
01:02:57.000 But because of the fact that she was a noblewoman, She never even got executed.
01:03:01.000 They just put her in house arrest.
01:03:03.000 So they locked her in some fucking chamber up in the top of some castle like some monster by herself until she died.
01:03:09.000 How old?
01:03:11.000 She was old when she died.
01:03:11.000 I don't know.
01:03:12.000 She didn't die at 30. That's a real mom question.
01:03:17.000 How old?
01:03:18.000 It's a good question.
01:03:19.000 She was 54 when she died, which back then...
01:03:21.000 Which right now, think about it.
01:03:22.000 Think about everyone you've loved.
01:03:26.000 1610. Anyone that you ever loved that didn't make it to 54 and just realized that the bloodbather who butchered all those women made it to 54. How old was she when they locked her in the hole?
01:03:37.000 Did the process work?
01:03:39.000 No, it didn't work because she didn't know what the fuck she was doing.
01:03:39.000 No.
01:03:42.000 She had the right idea.
01:03:43.000 I mean, in a way.
01:03:45.000 Like, there's the right idea.
01:03:46.000 She was the mice before the mice?
01:03:48.000 But you don't have to kill people, you dumb cunt.
01:03:52.000 I believe that was the name of the movie.
01:03:54.000 Pay young kids to donate blood.
01:03:56.000 That's all you need to do.
01:03:57.000 What she did wrong was bathe in the blood?
01:03:59.000 What are you supposed to do?
01:04:00.000 Oh, I mean, what she did wrong is she's a fucking serial killer.
01:04:02.000 I'm killing people.
01:04:03.000 I'm kidding, but her idea was somehow or another that she was going to get younger.
01:04:08.000 The blood of the young would rejuvenate age.
01:04:09.000 And that's been a theme that people have sort of repeated over and over again.
01:04:13.000 And it makes you wonder.
01:04:14.000 Maybe we know somewhere, and maybe it's just we're ridiculous, and blood's a liquid, and you can contain it and measure it, and we just get our heads wrapped around this idea that that's what makes you younger.
01:04:25.000 Or maybe like we inherently knew that's the source of aging is the blood.
01:04:30.000 And then chased it away during civilization just because like, well, there's only one way around that, the blood of others.
01:04:38.000 Maybe it's not something that we knew or didn't knew, but it's inherent knowledge.
01:04:42.000 Like maybe your system, sort of like how your body knows when it's thirsty to drink water without anybody even telling you, like you just kind of know, right?
01:04:50.000 There's like certain things that you know.
01:04:52.000 You see a snake, even if you've never seen one, you're going to back up.
01:04:55.000 There's things that you just know.
01:04:57.000 It could be highly possible that we'd have some sort of subconscious understanding of some aspects of our body, some needs that our body has, that we've never been able to see it written anywhere because no one's written it down, but maybe you kind of know things.
01:05:13.000 And maybe somewhere...
01:05:14.000 And one of those things is just...
01:05:15.000 Yeah, maybe somewhere in the back of the human DNA, we know that's the blood.
01:05:20.000 When the blood goes bad, your body starts to get old and starts to fall apart.
01:05:24.000 But if you pump that young blood back in...
01:05:26.000 But aging has to happen eventually, right?
01:05:31.000 That's the scary thing, man, because that's the number one thing that people are hoping science can stop.
01:05:36.000 There's people getting old and dying.
01:05:38.000 That's the number one thing.
01:05:39.000 I understand going like, hey man, wouldn't it be great if we could do all this without a president?
01:05:45.000 But it's tough to be like, hey man, wouldn't this all be better if we couldn't die?
01:05:50.000 I'm not saying it would be better.
01:05:51.000 I definitely don't think that.
01:05:52.000 But still, I don't even think it's possible.
01:05:54.000 Everything ages in one direction.
01:05:56.000 The road goes in one direction.
01:05:57.000 Sort of.
01:05:58.000 You can slow it down and you can make the path comfortable for yourself, as comfortable as you can.
01:06:01.000 The journey even more so.
01:06:03.000 But I don't think you could...
01:06:05.000 Extend the road forever.
01:06:06.000 Do you know that certain jellyfish are essentially immortal?
01:06:10.000 Explain.
01:06:11.000 They also don't have a head, heart, lungs.
01:06:11.000 They live forever.
01:06:14.000 But if we really can regenerate all the tissue in your body, except for trauma...
01:06:21.000 Except for accidents and someone killing you.
01:06:24.000 There could be only one!
01:06:25.000 There's no physical reason why they shouldn't be able to figure out how to stop the aging clock and literally turn it back.
01:06:33.000 No physical reason.
01:06:34.000 What about the brain?
01:06:36.000 Both that.
01:06:36.000 I mean, that is also an organ.
01:06:38.000 Does it age?
01:06:39.000 Does it time out?
01:06:40.000 I'm sure.
01:06:40.000 There's going to be a real question as to where your memories are actually stored and who are you.
01:06:45.000 Once they start getting to that Ray Kurzweil shit of storing consciousness in some sort of a...
01:06:51.000 On a databank?
01:06:52.000 Yeah.
01:06:52.000 Have you watched Black Mirror?
01:06:53.000 No, I haven't, but I heard I have to.
01:06:55.000 You got it.
01:06:55.000 I watched one episode when they made the politician fuck the pig.
01:06:55.000 You'd love it.
01:06:58.000 Which is amazing.
01:06:59.000 It's pretty badass.
01:07:00.000 Amazing episode.
01:07:01.000 What the fuck?
01:07:02.000 You watched that and you were like, good enough!
01:07:05.000 Any show that gives me that brilliance, I'd be like, oh my god, and that was their first episode.
01:07:09.000 Let me see what the next one is.
01:07:10.000 It's not that I'm opposed to it.
01:07:11.000 I'm just too busy.
01:07:13.000 Way too busy.
01:07:13.000 They did one episode in the second season about...
01:07:16.000 They don't telegraph it up front.
01:07:19.000 It's smart TV. They make you work for it.
01:07:21.000 But essentially the idea is they take people who are dying and you can download your consciousness into this digital playground where you look the way you want.
01:07:34.000 It looks like, you know, every spring break you've ever seen and stuff.
01:07:37.000 And so these two people meet up and they're both young women.
01:07:40.000 You find out one is an old woman and the other, they're both old women, but one's been a vegetable since she was like a teenager.
01:07:47.000 Wow.
01:07:50.000 They can run, romp, and be free and be whoever they want.
01:07:52.000 But it's generally considered, like, you could choose to just die and pass on to whatever you think is out there, if there's a heaven or something like that.
01:08:04.000 Or you could choose to go to the server, as they call it and stuff.
01:08:09.000 And so the two women who fall for one another, one is like, stay here forever.
01:08:15.000 We can be like this forever.
01:08:17.000 And the older woman was like, I had a life with a husband and a kid.
01:08:22.000 And I watched him get old and die.
01:08:26.000 And he chose not to do this.
01:08:28.000 And now I'm going to choose to live forever.
01:08:30.000 And her friend's like...
01:08:32.000 Where you're going?
01:08:33.000 You don't even know where you're going, but what if he's not there?
01:08:35.000 Perhaps you should have said spoiler alert somewhere along that ramp.
01:08:39.000 I did not know where you were going with that.
01:08:41.000 Sorry.
01:08:41.000 It's deep cuts in this.
01:08:41.000 Sorry, kids.
01:08:42.000 Hoping I can smoke another joint and forget this.
01:08:44.000 One of many episodes.
01:08:46.000 But I've got to keep going with this because it's good.
01:08:48.000 And we've got to talk about The Arrival.
01:08:49.000 Have you seen Arrival?
01:08:50.000 No!
01:08:51.000 Don't fucking spoil it like that.
01:08:53.000 I can't believe you haven't seen it yet.
01:08:55.000 I pre-ordered it on iTunes.
01:08:57.000 It's genius.
01:08:58.000 Let me tell you what I'm not watching anymore is The Walking Dead.
01:09:01.000 Why?
01:09:01.000 Done.
01:09:02.000 Don't be that way.
01:09:03.000 I watched one episode of the latest season or the new season.
01:09:05.000 I'm like, fuck you.
01:09:06.000 What, the first one?
01:09:07.000 Yeah, fuck you.
01:09:08.000 They had to do that.
01:09:09.000 Everyone's waiting to see what Negan did, man.
01:09:11.000 Don't be like that.
01:09:13.000 It's our song.
01:09:13.000 It's a goddamn torture show.
01:09:15.000 Just that episode.
01:09:16.000 It's a murder and torture show.
01:09:17.000 Just that episode.
01:09:18.000 No, the zombies all of a sudden are totally insignificant.
01:09:21.000 You just kick them away.
01:09:22.000 They charge you.
01:09:23.000 You just kick them away.
01:09:24.000 They tear open horses with their raw hands.
01:09:26.000 But they charge you.
01:09:27.000 You just kind of like fucking Heisman them.
01:09:29.000 There's a group of thousands of them surrounding a van.
01:09:33.000 And he figures out, fuck you.
01:09:35.000 Fuck you.
01:09:36.000 You killed Glenn?
01:09:37.000 You killed Glenn?
01:09:38.000 Like that?
01:09:39.000 Spoiler alert.
01:09:40.000 That way?
01:09:40.000 Like that?
01:09:41.000 You torture him?
01:09:42.000 They didn't kill him the way everyone was expecting when they did.
01:09:45.000 Bullshit.
01:09:46.000 Fuck that show.
01:09:49.000 You got a high bar, Rogan?
01:09:51.000 No, I don't.
01:09:52.000 Yeah, I do.
01:09:53.000 You're like, yeah, yeah.
01:09:54.000 It's just if you're gonna fucking kill a zombie, be consistent.
01:09:54.000 No, I don't.
01:09:58.000 I think the idea was to show as bad as we think the zombies are, the humans are always gonna be worse.
01:09:58.000 It's too much torture, man.
01:09:58.000 It's torture.
01:10:04.000 I get it.
01:10:05.000 You can't kill Glenn.
01:10:05.000 I get it.
01:10:07.000 Is that it?
01:10:08.000 That's your big beef?
01:10:08.000 I love that guy.
01:10:09.000 I know, but this show excels at going like, hey, I'm sorry, we gotta kill someone you love every once in a while.
01:10:15.000 I'm spoiler alert in the fuck out of that show.
01:10:17.000 If you're not watching it, pause this.
01:10:18.000 I'm done.
01:10:19.000 I won't do it anymore.
01:10:20.000 Can I tell you the end of that other thing?
01:10:22.000 No!
01:10:23.000 Come on, dude.
01:10:23.000 Jesus Christ, you're gonna ruin it.
01:10:25.000 Come on, it's good, it's good.
01:10:26.000 You can talk, I'll cover my ears.
01:10:27.000 Then I'm talking to nobody.
01:10:30.000 Let's talk Arrival.
01:10:31.000 I want to keep saying The Arrival, but it's not.
01:10:33.000 It's just Arrival.
01:10:33.000 Did you ever see the other one with Charlie Sheen?
01:10:36.000 The Arrival?
01:10:37.000 That's why I keep wanting to say The Arrival.
01:10:37.000 Yes.
01:10:39.000 That's a very good movie.
01:10:40.000 That's an RST video store flick from when I was renting slinging videos back in the day.
01:10:44.000 I remember.
01:10:45.000 I would sling that quite often.
01:10:46.000 People would come in and be like, you got The Arrival?
01:10:48.000 Yeah, Chuck Sheen, son.
01:10:50.000 I was like, God, I feel embarrassed to have liked that.
01:10:53.000 And then Dave Foley released me of my embarrassment.
01:10:56.000 Dave Foley was like, that was a really good science fiction movie.
01:10:59.000 Really?
01:10:59.000 I was like, yes!
01:11:00.000 Yeah, I always refer...
01:11:02.000 Do you know Dave?
01:11:03.000 No, I met him once on a game show, but, you know, I'm a big news radio fan.
01:11:07.000 But even going back pre-news radio, probably the reason I get to news radio is because I was a massive...
01:11:12.000 Kids in the Hall fan.
01:11:13.000 So I met Dave twice.
01:11:14.000 He only remembers probably the one time on the game show recently, the Hollywood Game Night.
01:11:19.000 But I met him back in like 95. I went to a Kids in the Hall show in Kitchener, Ontario, and then went backstage after a show.
01:11:27.000 And I've never done that before, but I was a big fan of him.
01:11:29.000 My friend was like, oh, they'll fucking love it!
01:11:31.000 My friend Malcolm, he's a wonderful guy, very much a blowhard.
01:11:34.000 He has a podcast called Blowhard.
01:11:35.000 But he's the guy that's just like...
01:11:37.000 Fucking Batman v Superman's a cinematic abortion.
01:11:40.000 You know, he's just got opinions and shit.
01:11:41.000 So my man took me to see the kids in the hall and he's like, we'll go backstage.
01:11:44.000 They'll fucking love it.
01:11:45.000 You made Clerks.
01:11:46.000 This will be amazing.
01:11:47.000 And they just finished an amazing show and we go backstage and, you know, I don't know how you are after a show, but I now know how I am after a show.
01:11:54.000 And generally speaking, the show was there and now I just like, I just want to grab some milk and drive home or something like that.
01:12:03.000 And instead, you know, you're not like, hey!
01:12:06.000 So I met them and they were all like, hey.
01:12:09.000 You know, and they didn't fucking see Clerks.
01:12:10.000 They didn't know who I was.
01:12:11.000 It was early, early on in my career.
01:12:12.000 But, you know, they just give it all up on the stage and they're like, oh shit, we gotta fucking do another mini-show and stuff.
01:12:20.000 So, you know, I'm not like, what a letdown he was.
01:12:23.000 The show was amazing.
01:12:24.000 You know, it's just not like, I doubt he'd even remember meeting me.
01:12:27.000 But I did meet him on that Hollywood Game Night show and talked to him for a long time.
01:12:32.000 But I'm a deep fan, going way back.
01:12:34.000 That's awesome, man.
01:12:35.000 The long answer to a very short question, sorry.
01:12:37.000 I don't remember what the question was.
01:12:38.000 You like Dave Fuller.
01:12:39.000 You meet that guy or something like that?
01:12:41.000 He's literally one of the smartest people I've ever met in my life.
01:12:44.000 Arrival.
01:12:45.000 Let's talk about the new Arrival.
01:12:46.000 You got to see it.
01:12:47.000 You would love it.
01:12:48.000 But Dave Foley.
01:12:49.000 I want to talk about Dave Foley.
01:12:49.000 I'm going to go deep on Dave Foley.
01:12:51.000 I just want to tell you.
01:12:52.000 He's the secret producer of news radio.
01:12:54.000 Explain.
01:12:54.000 What do you mean?
01:12:55.000 Is this Deep Cuts news radio shit?
01:12:57.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:12:57.000 Here we go.
01:12:58.000 I'm listening mode.
01:12:59.000 And this is not a knock against the writers because the writers are brilliant.
01:13:02.000 Paul Sims, the guy who created it, another one of the smartest people I've ever met.
01:13:05.000 And just completely unique.
01:13:08.000 There's a lot of guys that pretend to be that eccentric, weirdo writer guy.
01:13:13.000 Paul Sims is that motherfucker.
01:13:16.000 He's such an eccentric guy.
01:13:18.000 They didn't start writing until like 3 o'clock in the morning.
01:13:21.000 They would hang out and play video games and fart in each other's faces.
01:13:24.000 They literally didn't start writing until the middle of the night because Paul had a strategy of getting everybody really tired and silly and then they would write all night.
01:13:34.000 And then a lot of times we would get like the first draft, the day of the table read, we would get the first draft, they would just be coming, like Josh Lee would come down barefoot, and these guys would be up all night, and Lou Morton and all these writers, and I was like, you guys are fucking crazy,
01:13:50.000 like, you didn't even sleep like this?
01:13:51.000 He goes like, no, we've been writing all night, this is how we do it.
01:13:54.000 And they were just silly, because they were almost, without doing drugs, they were getting high.
01:13:59.000 Right.
01:14:01.000 As far as I know.
01:14:01.000 They're curbing inhibition.
01:14:03.000 The longer they're up, the more they're like, anything goes.
01:14:07.000 And as you're sitting there, if you're well-fed or you're in the middle of the day, perhaps you're less...
01:14:15.000 We're less apt or less likely to be like, hey, I got a fucking stupid idea.
01:14:20.000 You don't want someone in the room to be like, you asshole, that's not fucking funny.
01:14:24.000 Nobody wants to get judged.
01:14:25.000 So for me, I smoke weed not because it gives you better ideas, but because it lowers your inhibitions.
01:14:32.000 I don't give a fuck if people think it's stupid.
01:14:35.000 I'm going to try it.
01:14:35.000 And if that don't work, I'll say another thing.
01:14:38.000 Well, you can express yourself more honestly.
01:14:40.000 You feel freer to express yourself more honestly.
01:14:43.000 It must be the same idea of keeping people fucking up and then just getting them tired and then be like, now, right.
01:14:47.000 It's a strategy.
01:14:48.000 It really is.
01:14:49.000 It's a good one, man.
01:14:50.000 That show was very specific.
01:14:51.000 It was very silly.
01:14:52.000 It was a silly show.
01:14:53.000 That's one of the reasons why I think there's a lot of silliness going on.
01:14:56.000 Which is a strong suit when you don't have the card to play of, let's say, cock or fuck or shit.
01:15:04.000 You can't even do the basic cards.
01:15:06.000 So what do you replace those cards in the deck with?
01:15:09.000 And that show replaced it with, we're going to up the silly quotient in a way that doesn't look like other sitcoms silly.
01:15:16.000 Like, their silly was Bill getting a cane.
01:15:19.000 Where it's like, that's a real fucking silly episode.
01:15:19.000 Yeah.
01:15:21.000 They built a whole episode around him walking.
01:15:23.000 Everybody loves a cane.
01:15:24.000 Like, that's not the saying, Bill.
01:15:26.000 No, it was a very, very silly show.
01:15:28.000 And don't be shit like, your last name's Gorelli?
01:15:30.000 Like, just repeating that.
01:15:31.000 For five fucking years, that was like a running joke.
01:15:34.000 Every time it happens, like, your last name's Gorelli?
01:15:37.000 I was like, that's genius.
01:15:38.000 That show was a very weird show in a lot of ways.
01:15:43.000 Like Paul was a he's such a unique guy that he would essentially let anybody come up with another line if like they were doing a table read or not a table read rather but a Run-through if you would get a hold of script Dave would come up with an alternative line,
01:16:01.000 and right away, the show was in trouble, because the first year that we were filming, it wasn't really doing very well in the ratings, and they couldn't figure out how the show...
01:16:13.000 The show, I bet you that number would be...
01:16:14.000 Well, it was weird.
01:16:16.000 We moved like nine times in five years.
01:16:20.000 But there was this, or four years, whatever we did, and it was this moment when they were just trying to figure it out constantly.
01:16:28.000 It was a lot of work.
01:16:29.000 And they would all get together and try to rewrite scenes, but Dave Foley would rewrite scenes like on the floor.
01:16:36.000 And as the show kept going, it became more and more of a thing.
01:16:40.000 He was like a secret producer.
01:16:42.000 But not that it was a secret, because the writers were so open-minded that they just wanted to see the best jokes.
01:16:49.000 He's the best cut actor, though.
01:16:50.000 He's the actor that you love because he's a writer as well.
01:16:53.000 So he comes to set and he's not just doing your script.
01:16:55.000 He can give you five other scripts just as funny if you want them.
01:16:59.000 And if he's like...
01:17:00.000 The good ones.
01:17:01.000 He's not jamming, my shit's better than yours, down your throat.
01:17:04.000 He's like, if there's an opening, gracefully it goes in.
01:17:08.000 But in the beginning of my career, I used to reject people that were like that.
01:17:12.000 Because I'm like, no, if it's not my writing, then what is it?
01:17:15.000 And then the older you get, the more comfortable you get, and you realize, dude, you're going to get credit regardless.
01:17:19.000 Like, go ahead.
01:17:19.000 Like, I remember, for me, it was Chris Rock.
01:17:23.000 There was a moment in Dogma.
01:17:26.000 Chris Rock, there was a line in the script...
01:17:30.000 A line in the movie where he falls out of heaven.
01:17:33.000 He's Rufus, the 13th apostle.
01:17:35.000 And they're having this conversation in the middle of the road.
01:17:37.000 Him and Linda Fiorentino playing Bethany.
01:17:39.000 Jay and Silent Bob are there.
01:17:41.000 And he references knowing Jesus.
01:17:44.000 And she's like, Christ, you knew Christ.
01:17:47.000 And he goes, no, I'm shit.
01:17:49.000 And he used the N-word.
01:17:50.000 He goes, owes me 12 bucks.
01:17:51.000 Nigga owes me 12 bucks.
01:17:52.000 Now, I didn't write that line.
01:17:54.000 I wrote dogma, every piece of it, but I didn't write that line.
01:17:57.000 I would never put that line in front of Chris Rock and be like, look what I did.
01:18:01.000 My line was, no, he owes me 12 bucks.
01:18:05.000 Chris was able to dress it up in such a way.
01:18:08.000 And I told him, I was like, oh God, because I was crying when he did it.
01:18:11.000 I was like, that's hysterical.
01:18:12.000 But I was bittersweet about it because I was like, I can't include it.
01:18:15.000 And I said to him, I was like, dude, that's the funniest thing I think I've ever put on film and I can't use it in the movie.
01:18:19.000 He goes, why?
01:18:20.000 And I was like, because I didn't write it, how am I supposed to do the credits now?
01:18:23.000 Written by Kevin Smith and one line by Chris Rock.
01:18:25.000 He goes, I don't give a shit.
01:18:27.000 Don't you know how this works?
01:18:28.000 He's going, you'll get credit for it.
01:18:30.000 He's going, it's funny.
01:18:31.000 Take it.
01:18:32.000 I don't need credit for that.
01:18:33.000 I say a lot of shit.
01:18:34.000 And I was like, oh, oh, really?
01:18:35.000 And then the next guy I worked with was like that.
01:18:38.000 Was Will Ferrell on Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
01:18:40.000 That's almost an alien idea, that you would not accept a really funny addition because you didn't write it.
01:18:47.000 I didn't know how to do the job, dude, because I was so...
01:18:48.000 I came through indie film, and so I didn't come up through the world of comedy.
01:18:52.000 I backdoored into the world of comedy.
01:18:54.000 But I came up through indie film, and indie film was like, hey man, auteur.
01:18:58.000 You write and direct your stuff.
01:18:59.000 It's your statement and stuff.
01:19:01.000 And since nobody taught you, and there's nobody to teach you this shit, there's no book, you have your own process where you're like, well, I guess to be pure, it should all be my stuff.
01:19:11.000 That way when I see it say, written by Kevin Smith, it's not a lie.
01:19:14.000 Just like I was raised Catholic, so for the longest time, I thought I was a virgin until I was about 17, Really, I lost my virginity at 13. Like, I was inside a girl at age 13. She was also the same age,
01:19:32.000 so it's not creepy.
01:19:33.000 Although it's creepy to talk about now.
01:19:35.000 But I never came.
01:19:37.000 And in Catholic school, there's no class where they're like, you know, sex is penetration.
01:19:42.000 They don't tell you shit.
01:19:44.000 So, you know, I was like, well...
01:19:46.000 You make rules for yourself, and you just buy them as those are the rules.
01:19:49.000 So for years, I was like, well, you know, I never came inside a girl, so I've not had sex yet.
01:19:54.000 And then when I finally had sex, I was like, oh, I guess penetration counts, and hence I had sex a long time ago.
01:20:01.000 It was a problem for a minute with my current girlfriend then.
01:20:04.000 She's like, you said you were a virgin.
01:20:05.000 I was like, I thought I was a virgin.
01:20:06.000 But she was like, you bet inside somebody.
01:20:08.000 I was like, yeah, but I didn't come.
01:20:10.000 Isn't that the...
01:20:11.000 Like, if you don't come, it don't count.
01:20:12.000 And she's like, where'd you get that?
01:20:13.000 It should be super impressive.
01:20:15.000 Anytime a 13-year-old doesn't come, it should be super impressive.
01:20:18.000 It's like, how do you not just...
01:20:19.000 Fear.
01:20:20.000 You've got the Catholic fear of not like, oh, she'll have a baby, but the very Catholic fear of like...
01:20:26.000 Of, I can't believe I'm sinning.
01:20:27.000 Not even that.
01:20:28.000 Like, oh, she may have to get an abortion, and then you're carrying that shit.
01:20:31.000 No, Catholics, I don't think...
01:20:32.000 I think any faith...
01:20:34.000 You know, you can sin.
01:20:35.000 Especially with Catholicism, they had a built-in get-out-of-jail-free card.
01:20:39.000 You can do what you need to, but you come into church, you tell the strange man your dirty little secrets in a booth with no lights, and you leave, and everything's going to be fine with Jesus.
01:20:48.000 And it made sense all throughout my childhood.
01:20:50.000 I was like, yeah, it makes sense.
01:20:52.000 Alright, so wait, where were we before we got into that?
01:20:55.000 I don't know.
01:20:56.000 We don't have to be anywhere, man.
01:20:57.000 I know, but we were on a good thread, man.
01:20:59.000 We were talking about It is what you think it is.
01:21:04.000 Like, you build the rules for yourself.
01:21:05.000 So I said to myself, if I include Chris Rock's amazing ad-lib in my movie, then I've taken from another writer and hence it can't say written by...
01:21:17.000 It's bullshit.
01:21:18.000 That's absolutely in my head.
01:21:20.000 I understand why you would think that.
01:21:21.000 He got that out of me, man.
01:21:23.000 It didn't make sense to me just because I was really lucky in the only real comedy that I did that lasted anyone...
01:21:30.000 You know, was news radio.
01:21:32.000 And it was a crazy environment like that.
01:21:34.000 It was based on you though, right?
01:21:35.000 Like Joe Gorelli...
01:21:36.000 The character was very loosely based on me.
01:21:39.000 Feels like they saw your stand-up and said, fucking do that on the show.
01:21:43.000 No, Paul was just like really good at picking out the goofy shit that you do and like exaggerating it.
01:21:49.000 Because I was always into stupid UFO stories, so it would always be some conspiracy theory or some gadget, because I've always been a dork when it comes to technology.
01:21:59.000 I'm fascinated by all sorts of gadgets and shit, but I don't actually know how to make anything.
01:22:05.000 I'm good at it because I'm flashing on moments where you're like, you see this, and it's just a card, and you're like, it's from the elevator, but I don't know which one.
01:22:11.000 It was during Ray's period and stuff.
01:22:13.000 All the Gorelli moments are washing over me as you say that.
01:22:17.000 I probably don't even remember him.
01:22:18.000 I bet you I know more about that show than you.
01:22:21.000 If you and I went head-to-head news radio trivia, I bet you would.
01:22:23.000 I bet you would, too.
01:22:24.000 No doubt.
01:22:24.000 Like, Andy Dick was a perfect example.
01:22:26.000 Andy Dick is a super exaggerated version of Andy Dick.
01:22:30.000 Of Andy Dick.
01:22:31.000 That's what his character was, Matthew.
01:22:32.000 Matthew was just a super exaggerated version of Andy Dick.
01:22:35.000 But, like, in ways, Andy, almost sometimes, at his craziest, was more of an exaggeration, but in a totally different way.
01:22:42.000 You know, when he was partying and getting crazy.
01:22:44.000 But...
01:22:45.000 The silliness of that character was really just Andy Dick.
01:22:48.000 It really was him.
01:22:50.000 I can see that because Matthew takes off...
01:22:55.000 Like, he's funny, but he becomes the Matthew that he is for the rest of the show.
01:23:00.000 Right.
01:23:00.000 About six episodes, four to six episodes in.
01:23:03.000 Right.
01:23:04.000 Like, you slowly see him start to become the Matthew that you...
01:23:08.000 When you think of news radio, oh, yeah, Matthew.
01:23:11.000 Right.
01:23:11.000 So it feels like same thing with you.
01:23:13.000 Well, you weren't even the first guy, right?
01:23:15.000 Pilot, they had a different guy.
01:23:16.000 It was Ray Romano.
01:23:18.000 Was he the guy?
01:23:20.000 Yeah, Ray Romano.
01:23:21.000 He was the you?
01:23:22.000 No, he was the guy before me.
01:23:25.000 This is what happened.
01:23:25.000 Ray Romano was cast in it originally.
01:23:28.000 And then I guess while they were shooting the pilot, they decided to go a different direction.
01:23:32.000 Right.
01:23:32.000 I don't know what that means.
01:23:33.000 So they brought in another guy, and that guy did it, and then after the pilot, they said, we want to replace that guy.
01:23:39.000 And so then they had this open casting call thing, and then I got involved in that.
01:23:43.000 And what had you been doing at that point?
01:23:45.000 Stand-up?
01:23:45.000 I was thinking about moving back to New York and thinking I shouldn't have got a fucking apartment in L.A. That's what I was thinking.
01:23:50.000 So it's the classic story.
01:23:51.000 You got it just at the right time.
01:23:52.000 I came out here for a show called Hardball.
01:23:54.000 It was a show by this guy...
01:23:57.000 Jeff Martin and Kevin Curran, these two guys who wrote for Married with Children.
01:24:01.000 And they also wrote for...
01:24:03.000 I think they wrote for The Simpsons.
01:24:06.000 And they wrote for a lot of shit.
01:24:07.000 They were really funny guys.
01:24:08.000 The names I recognize.
01:24:09.000 They came up with a great pilot.
01:24:11.000 Me and Jim Brewer and a bunch of other great guys were in it.
01:24:14.000 And then Fox got a hold of it and just sort of fisted it and just came in its eyeballs and just twisted it all around.
01:24:21.000 Turns out it's like a really hacky...
01:24:24.000 It's just a really hacky version of what it once was and then eventually got cancelled.
01:24:28.000 So I thought being a young, dumb guy that I was, I thought, oh, this show's definitely going to be a hit.
01:24:34.000 I should get an apartment.
01:24:35.000 I'm going to live out here.
01:24:36.000 I might as well get a year lease.
01:24:38.000 Everything's going great.
01:24:39.000 And then all of a sudden the show gets cancelled.
01:24:40.000 I'm like, what am I doing out here?
01:24:42.000 I don't have any friends out here.
01:24:43.000 I hardly know anybody.
01:24:45.000 My friends were all back home and I was like, gosh, she just moved back to New York.
01:24:48.000 And then I got a development deal.
01:24:51.000 It's like NBC got in touch with my management and they asked me if I wanted to do my own show or if I wanted to do this show that they have already, this show called NewsRadio.
01:25:04.000 So I got to watch the pilot before I had no idea what it was like before anybody ever saw it.
01:25:09.000 I got a VHS tape of the pilot before it ever aired on TV. And so I got to watch that and then I auditioned for it.
01:25:16.000 So it was a big advantage in that I kind of understood Like the style.
01:25:21.000 The rhythm of the show.
01:25:22.000 That they did.
01:25:22.000 But it was really interesting.
01:25:23.000 What he did was the first audition wasn't funny, necessarily.
01:25:29.000 It was just a scene.
01:25:30.000 And I was like, this is weird, because the pilot was really funny.
01:25:33.000 But this seems like they did it on purpose to see if people would ham it up.
01:25:37.000 They didn't want anybody who wasn't playing it real.
01:25:41.000 And so they weeded people out by making something that wasn't really that funny.
01:25:44.000 Right.
01:25:44.000 How fucking crazy is that?
01:25:46.000 That's kind of nuts.
01:25:46.000 And then the second time I come back, and it's hilarious.
01:25:49.000 The second time, the banter is just genius.
01:25:52.000 And I'm like, oh, these clever bitches.
01:25:55.000 Like, I see what they did.
01:25:56.000 They just whittled it down to people who could play it straight.
01:26:01.000 That's...
01:26:02.000 I mean, I'm not saying insidious in a negative way, but that's...
01:26:05.000 Ingenious, maybe, is the word I'm looking for, instead of insidious.
01:26:09.000 That's, like, I don't think like that.
01:26:11.000 No.
01:26:11.000 I'm just, like, I remember we cast Clerks.
01:26:14.000 I still cast the same way.
01:26:15.000 When we cast Clerks, we had a First Avenue Playhouse.
01:26:19.000 It was a little theater, dinner theater, in Atlantic Highlands, in New Jersey.
01:26:23.000 And so we put an ad out, like, I think in the free paper, and I hung up ads any place where, like, College kids congregated and stuff.
01:26:31.000 Monmouth College at the time.
01:26:32.000 Now it's Monmouth University.
01:26:34.000 So we had this open casting call.
01:26:36.000 And, you know, as people are coming through, we're seeing people do things that, like, were blowing us out of the water.
01:26:46.000 I had no experience.
01:26:47.000 Marilyn Gigliotti, the girl who plays Veronica in the movie, she got cast because she, like, cried during the audition.
01:26:53.000 And I remember, like, looking at my friends going, like, who could do this?
01:26:57.000 Who could just, like...
01:26:58.000 Cry like this.
01:26:59.000 And none of them auditioned with comedy.
01:27:01.000 Like, Brian O'Hollander, who played Dante, auditioned with a piece from, like, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark.
01:27:07.000 No, not Don't Be Afraid of the Dark.
01:27:08.000 Oh, fuck.
01:27:09.000 Yeah, maybe Don't Be Afraid...
01:27:10.000 There's one where Alan Arkin is, like, stalking Audrey Hepburn, and she's blind, and he's, like, robbing the place.
01:27:17.000 Alone in the Dark, maybe.
01:27:18.000 But it's a real, like, killer monologue that's nothing like his character.
01:27:22.000 So we were like, this guy's fucking...
01:27:24.000 He can act.
01:27:25.000 If he can act like that, he can fucking...
01:27:26.000 Say, I'm not even supposed to be here today and stuff like that.
01:27:30.000 So yeah, I could see.
01:27:31.000 That was my process.
01:27:32.000 I'm blown away.
01:27:33.000 I'm easily impressed.
01:27:35.000 So people come through and I'm like, you cried?
01:27:37.000 Like, oh my god, he's the greatest actress I ever saw in my life.
01:27:40.000 Or you're crazy, right?
01:27:42.000 Jesus.
01:27:42.000 You're just a crazy person who can pretend that something's real when it's not.
01:27:45.000 No doubt.
01:27:46.000 God damn it, that's part of the problem, isn't it?
01:27:48.000 It's ability, man.
01:27:49.000 Isn't that a part of the problem?
01:27:50.000 Genesis Rodriguez.
01:27:50.000 To have that ability, you have to be a little fucking cuckoo?
01:27:53.000 I don't know.
01:27:53.000 Genesis Rodriguez.
01:27:55.000 Who was an actress in a couple movies I did.
01:27:57.000 She came from Telenovela.
01:28:00.000 From what?
01:28:01.000 The Spanish...
01:28:02.000 Telenovela.
01:28:03.000 Telenovela.
01:28:04.000 Oh, okay.
01:28:04.000 So, you know, she did a scene in Tusk and she was crying.
01:28:08.000 I was like, that was amazing, man.
01:28:10.000 Like, that's crazy.
01:28:11.000 It's like you orchestrated a tear for the right line.
01:28:14.000 It just rolled and hit at the right time.
01:28:16.000 Wow.
01:28:17.000 And she's going, yeah, she's going, well, Telenovela, you've got to know how to...
01:28:35.000 Wow.
01:28:36.000 Wow.
01:28:41.000 I was like, that's fucked up and shit.
01:28:42.000 And she said, you have to do that on telenovela while somebody is in an earwig in your ear reading you the dialogue you're about to say.
01:28:51.000 Holy shit.
01:28:52.000 They get scripts this thick, thick as a dick.
01:28:55.000 So they can't learn all that dialogue.
01:28:57.000 And they shoot like 20, 30 pages a day.
01:29:00.000 So they stick bugs in their ears, a little receiver, and essentially the director's in the control room, and they shoot it like a soap opera.
01:29:08.000 There's multiple cameras.
01:29:09.000 But they are giving them the lines, and they are saying it simultaneously.
01:29:13.000 And I was like, how do you fucking do that?
01:29:15.000 How's your brain work like that?
01:29:16.000 And she goes, say anything to me.
01:29:18.000 Give me a nice long sentence.
01:29:20.000 And so I went for the sentence in the English language.
01:29:22.000 It has all the letters in it.
01:29:23.000 The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dogs.
01:29:26.000 And as I got to quick...
01:29:29.000 She, it's true, she started following me and finished at the exact same time.
01:29:35.000 Like, it was pretty fucking impressive.
01:29:40.000 She doesn't seem crazy by stretching the imagination.
01:29:42.000 I asked her, I was like, how can you fucking do that?
01:29:44.000 She's like, I don't know, it's just a family thing.
01:29:45.000 She's like, my dad.
01:29:46.000 A family thing?
01:29:47.000 She said, her dad, her dad's a big performer and singer.
01:29:49.000 She said, my dad can make his hair stand up on his arm and get goosebumps just by looking at it.
01:29:56.000 Whoa.
01:29:57.000 And it's like, wow, I mean, what a weird superpower to have, but, like, cool?
01:30:01.000 Well, there are definitely weird things like that where people inherit them from their parents.
01:30:06.000 Like, I used to date a girl who couldn't even see a needle in a movie.
01:30:10.000 She would faint.
01:30:12.000 Like if she saw someone getting a shot in a movie, she would faint.
01:30:15.000 I get squeamish, but she was like, woof.
01:30:17.000 And her dad, who I believe was a dentist, so like you would think the guy saw a lot of needles.
01:30:22.000 Right.
01:30:23.000 That guy would do the same thing.
01:30:26.000 Like if he saw something bad, he would faint.
01:30:28.000 So even though he normally saw needles, he probably stuck needles into gums and shit like that.
01:30:33.000 In his job.
01:30:34.000 He was a dentist?
01:30:35.000 Yeah.
01:30:35.000 Yeah.
01:30:36.000 In his day job, he's doing shit and then watching trauma on TV. Well, she was telling me that her brother had a real severe sunburn to the point where it had blisters, where it's like, whoa, you really fucked this up.
01:30:49.000 That reminds me of childhood.
01:30:50.000 And he saw it and he fainted.
01:30:52.000 And they were like, what the hell?
01:30:53.000 Like, he couldn't help it.
01:30:55.000 It's just he was so, you know, you love your son.
01:30:57.000 Come on, buddy.
01:30:57.000 If it's not in the mouth, you don't, like, you react like that?
01:31:00.000 It's like, you know, it's sunburn.
01:31:02.000 It's bad.
01:31:02.000 Well, it's a weird, I don't think it's his fault.
01:31:04.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:31:05.000 I don't think it's like, yeah, man, there's like something in the system.
01:31:09.000 There's something bizarre in the system.
01:31:11.000 I react when people tell stories when they're just like, you know, and then fucking I tour this.
01:31:16.000 I always do that and shit.
01:31:17.000 The idea of...
01:31:18.000 I'm low tolerance for...
01:31:20.000 Threshold for pain myself.
01:31:21.000 And, like, hearing people tell stories about injuries, you know, I react.
01:31:26.000 Yeah.
01:31:27.000 Oh, everybody does, right?
01:31:28.000 Like, you watch those videos.
01:31:29.000 I watched some poor guy.
01:31:30.000 Oh, my God.
01:31:31.000 Who let this fucking guy do this?
01:31:33.000 This guy who is, like, ridiculously overweight.
01:31:36.000 And they set a skateboard up on a ramp, like, balancing it on this.
01:31:41.000 Did you see that?
01:31:43.000 Yeah.
01:31:43.000 Oh my god, it's awful.
01:31:45.000 It's awful.
01:31:46.000 But when you watch someone like that, where you know they're going to get hurt, and then when they get hurt and it's really bad, you know that feeling that you get like a sharpness?
01:31:56.000 Like almost like a sharpness in your cells?
01:31:58.000 Yeah.
01:31:59.000 Where your whole body's like, fuck, Jesus!
01:32:01.000 Sometimes at Great Heights I get that.
01:32:02.000 If I look over the side of a building, I'm like, Jesus.
01:32:04.000 You get that sharpness.
01:32:05.000 Yeah, it runs right through you.
01:32:06.000 Like, move back!
01:32:07.000 It's almost like the adrenaline becomes like stalagmites coming off of a fucking ceiling.
01:32:12.000 Just...
01:32:12.000 They say that that is built in.
01:32:14.000 Even babies have that.
01:32:15.000 They did a test with babies.
01:32:17.000 They had a long table like this.
01:32:19.000 And then in the middle here, instead of it being wood, they had plexiglass and it was clear.
01:32:24.000 So they had the mother at one end of the table and the baby at the other.
01:32:27.000 And she was like, come on.
01:32:28.000 The baby would crawl.
01:32:28.000 But as soon as the baby got to the clear part, which is still a table, went back and would not go forward.
01:32:36.000 Good.
01:32:36.000 That's built into us for some reason.
01:32:38.000 Good.
01:32:40.000 Someone posted a picture.
01:32:42.000 And that closes that fucking thought.
01:32:44.000 Good.
01:32:45.000 Somebody posted a picture today from a playground in the 1920s.
01:32:52.000 And I don't know if it's real, because I really probably shouldn't be talking about it, but if it is real, like, Jesus Christ, these bars were like 50 feet off the ground.
01:33:01.000 These kids are just climbing ladders and shit, these metal ladders.
01:33:04.000 I mean, the way the setup looked like, today there's not a chance in hell you would let your kids play on this thing.
01:33:10.000 You would freak the fuck out.
01:33:12.000 Like, look at this.
01:33:13.000 Look at this goddamn thing.
01:33:15.000 Look at this!
01:33:16.000 How many kids got hurt before they were like...
01:33:18.000 They died!
01:33:19.000 Kids died every day!
01:33:20.000 We should bring it in.
01:33:21.000 I don't know.
01:33:21.000 Look at that height, dude.
01:33:23.000 Dude, they're dead.
01:33:23.000 If you fall from that, you're dead.
01:33:24.000 Even if it's all sand, you're still hitting something hard.
01:33:28.000 They didn't care.
01:33:29.000 They didn't want you to live.
01:33:30.000 Look, they're all riding bikes back then.
01:33:32.000 No cars.
01:33:33.000 What year is his early 19th century?
01:33:34.000 Wait a minute.
01:33:34.000 Go back.
01:33:35.000 Is that a body?
01:33:36.000 Is that one falling from the sky?
01:33:37.000 That's not real, is it?
01:33:38.000 Or the hanging from something?
01:33:40.000 It's a swing.
01:33:41.000 Look at that swing.
01:33:42.000 That swing is 15 feet off the fucking ground.
01:33:44.000 It looks like a body, though, doesn't it?
01:33:45.000 If you don't look at the lines.
01:33:47.000 The lines are like those falling marks in a cartoon.
01:33:49.000 He's just hanging off a fucking swing.
01:33:53.000 Kids are playing around.
01:33:53.000 It's a crazy picture, though, isn't it?
01:33:55.000 Yeah, that's nuts.
01:33:56.000 Look at that.
01:33:57.000 Yeah, things were a lot more dangerous in our day, and that's even before our day.
01:34:01.000 Yeah, that's before our day.
01:34:02.000 You're from back east.
01:34:02.000 You know Action Park?
01:34:04.000 No.
01:34:05.000 I was just gonna say, I broke my arm on one of those things.
01:34:07.000 Did you really?
01:34:08.000 Yeah, when I was a little kid, I fell off the monkey bars, snapped my arm.
01:34:12.000 And...
01:34:12.000 And I posted on it, snapped it.
01:34:14.000 So you got your first cast at what age?
01:34:17.000 I think I was six.
01:34:18.000 Do you have people sign it?
01:34:19.000 Do you have a lot of friends?
01:34:20.000 I believe I had people sign it.
01:34:21.000 Many?
01:34:22.000 Was it like, there's no room, sorry.
01:34:24.000 I don't remember.
01:34:25.000 Or was it a lot of like, love you, mom, have a great Wednesday?
01:34:28.000 Mostly that.
01:34:29.000 Yeah, mostly that.
01:34:31.000 But those things are fucking dangerous.
01:34:33.000 Shit.
01:34:33.000 It's concrete on the bottom of it.
01:34:35.000 In New Jersey, there's a theme park, it's closed now.
01:34:39.000 All growing up, man, we'd go there.
01:34:42.000 We're good to go.
01:35:09.000 I think?
01:35:19.000 For the whole family.
01:35:20.000 Jesus Christ.
01:35:21.000 That was a water slide.
01:35:22.000 Look at that water slide.
01:35:23.000 That's insane.
01:35:24.000 You were completely in a blue tube that went down a mountain.
01:35:27.000 It did a loop in the dark where a lot of people were getting hurt.
01:35:31.000 Like, they didn't make the full loop.
01:35:33.000 They just got jammed.
01:35:34.000 And then people clied into you?
01:35:35.000 Bang, bang, bang, bang.
01:35:36.000 There were a lot of injuries, a couple deaths.
01:35:38.000 Oh my god, a couple deaths?
01:35:39.000 But that was fun when we were kids.
01:35:42.000 You know, you didn't want to get hurt, but nobody told you you might get hurt that badly.
01:35:46.000 Some things were sensible.
01:35:47.000 Like, I was a child, if I saw monkey bars that high, number one, I didn't even go near the fucking monkey bars, but if I saw them that high, I'd be like, this is ridiculous.
01:35:56.000 Like, this is clearly, clearly we're being filmed or something.
01:35:59.000 Yeah, right?
01:36:00.000 I'd be like, this is a setup.
01:36:01.000 This was built by somebody who doesn't know what a child looks like.
01:36:05.000 Yeah, or hates them.
01:36:06.000 Once they've tricked them into going high so they can fall and die.
01:36:09.000 They're like, look, the more blood I get young child blood to bathe in, the younger one can look.
01:36:14.000 They subscribe to the theory of what's-her-fuck.
01:36:17.000 But there was a real concern back then about Mao's defeat.
01:36:20.000 I mean, we're talking about the Depression.
01:36:21.000 So you think they built the playgrounds like that?
01:36:23.000 Sweet out the week.
01:36:25.000 No way.
01:36:25.000 Sweet out the week.
01:36:26.000 Well, then you have to agree that we live in a better time because nobody ran on that platform in the election of like, hey, man, only the strong survive.
01:36:35.000 So, you know, if your kid goes to the playground, falls off the muggy bars, that's on you.
01:36:39.000 Well, we certainly are more protective of our children today.
01:36:43.000 We understand child rearing and understand mortality.
01:36:47.000 We understand the bad things that you can do to your kid while you're developing them.
01:36:54.000 It's a weird catch-22, and you'll probably agree with me as a parent.
01:36:57.000 How many kids you got?
01:36:58.000 Three.
01:36:58.000 You know a lot more than me.
01:36:59.000 I got one, but go ahead.
01:37:00.000 But what I was just going to say is there's a weird catch-22 in that you want to give them all the love in the world.
01:37:07.000 You want to support them as much as you can.
01:37:09.000 You want to be there 100% for them.
01:37:12.000 But you also realize that everyone you know that's interesting...
01:37:16.000 They had to overcome some bizarre childhood.
01:37:19.000 They had to overcome some crazy...
01:37:21.000 All my favorite people tell me terror stories about growing up and what their parents did or what their dad did.
01:37:31.000 Holy shit.
01:37:32.000 So many people, especially the comedians that I know, it was all just like, oh, fuck.
01:37:38.000 And then what happened?
01:37:39.000 Oh, fuck, dude.
01:37:41.000 And they're the funniest fucking people.
01:37:43.000 So we have a generation of kids that aren't...
01:37:47.000 Well, I know...
01:37:48.000 Look, I'm a helicopter parent, and I know I'm the guy that paves the way for his kid.
01:37:52.000 She wants to act.
01:37:53.000 I'm like, oh, let's make a movie.
01:37:54.000 You don't really...
01:37:55.000 That's not normal.
01:37:56.000 But you know what, man?
01:37:57.000 The only thing that's wrong with that...
01:37:58.000 This is the only thing that's wrong with that.
01:38:00.000 And this is where we have a problem.
01:38:02.000 Human beings...
01:38:03.000 The only thing that's wrong with that is the idea that she's not going to have to start making a living on her own.
01:38:10.000 She's going to be able to carry forth under her dad's momentum.
01:38:14.000 But the only reason why that's a problem, even remotely, is because we have this absurd idea that it should be super important for you to take care of yourself.
01:38:23.000 That it should be super important for you to financially carry yourself.
01:38:28.000 Explain, explain.
01:38:30.000 I've been fucking with this idea more and more lately.
01:38:32.000 That's what I love about you.
01:38:33.000 You fuck with ideas.
01:38:35.000 My buddy Eddie Wong, who's a chef and a really fucking interesting, cool guy, was on the podcast.
01:38:41.000 Okay.
01:38:42.000 And Eddie was talking about universal basic income.
01:38:47.000 And at first I thought, what?
01:38:49.000 You're going to give people free money?
01:38:51.000 Get the fuck out of here.
01:38:52.000 That's so stupid, dude.
01:38:54.000 You can't do that.
01:38:55.000 And then the more I thought about it, the more I said, well, it seems like when you give people money, it kills their motivation for a lot of folks.
01:39:02.000 But what if that's just like your needs are covered?
01:39:06.000 Is that really true, that if you give people something and you give them security, that it takes away their creativity?
01:39:13.000 Or is this just, I mean, we don't know, because everybody's always been in need, they overcame that need, and then they became successful, right?
01:39:20.000 That's the story that we hear over and over again.
01:39:22.000 But what if all your needs were taken care of, like food, shelter?
01:39:26.000 Like you have basic stuff.
01:39:28.000 You're not going to get rich, but you have enough to eat, and you always have a roof over your head.
01:39:33.000 First of all, wouldn't we like each other more if that was the case?
01:39:36.000 If we didn't have to worry, if nobody had to worry about how much money they had, nobody had to worry about not being able to eat, nobody worried about not having a place to sleep.
01:39:46.000 That sounds utopian, right?
01:39:48.000 But that's almost doable financially.
01:39:51.000 If you look at the amount of money we have versus the amount of people we have versus how much money people make, it's like, ooh, it's kind of close.
01:39:59.000 Like, we would have to restructure a lot of shit, but it seems like they might be able to give every person $12,000 a year.
01:40:06.000 Something like that.
01:40:07.000 Right.
01:40:08.000 And I think if we could figure out some sort of a way To do things like that, I think we would have a giant alleviation of tension and struggle at its, like, base level.
01:40:21.000 Survival shit.
01:40:22.000 Like, to elevate us as a people just above the survival thing.
01:40:27.000 So then we can relax more and get better at all this other shit.
01:40:31.000 But we've got to get past the survival thing.
01:40:33.000 And the base of the survival is what?
01:40:36.000 Basic food.
01:40:37.000 Basic shelter.
01:40:39.000 Having a roof over your head and having food.
01:40:41.000 If you could just guarantee that, if we could all collectively say, let's figure out, let's pile all this fucking money together.
01:40:48.000 Let's figure out how we can make this better.
01:40:51.000 What's number one?
01:40:52.000 We've got to...
01:40:53.000 We've got to figure out a way to make it easier to figure out what the fuck you want to do with your life.
01:40:58.000 You shouldn't have to just dive into some job and be desperate.
01:41:02.000 I mean, we were talking today, Jamie, about people that we know, that you know, that maybe wanted to do something else, but they played it safe, and now they're kind of stuck in this weird place where they can't get out of playing it safe because they have bills, and they get trapped.
01:41:16.000 I feel like if we had some sort of like universal basic income, it's totally possible that way less people would do that and then more people would try to make independent films or more people would try to become stand-up comics or more people would try to write books or more people would try to build cars or do whatever the fuck they're compelled to do.
01:41:36.000 How did you do it without getting twelve thousand free dollars a year?
01:41:40.000 I got lucky.
01:41:42.000 I worked.
01:41:43.000 I did a lot of different things.
01:41:45.000 You didn't wait for it to show up at your door.
01:41:47.000 You actually went out into the world and had to move some elements around in reality to make a new reality.
01:41:54.000 Yeah, I guess, man.
01:41:57.000 I also didn't have a lot of options.
01:42:00.000 I consider yourself an exceptional human being now.
01:42:02.000 Did you consider yourself an exceptional human being then?
01:42:04.000 I knew I was good at Taekwondo.
01:42:07.000 That was about it.
01:42:08.000 So you had a skill.
01:42:09.000 I was good at one thing.
01:42:10.000 I knew I was good at one thing.
01:42:12.000 I was like, God damn it, if I can get good at that, it's totally possible I can get good at life.
01:42:16.000 Right.
01:42:17.000 That's a smart way to look at it.
01:42:18.000 At the very least, you're a hired hand.
01:42:20.000 Walking through the countryside, taking care of people's problems with your bare fists and shit.
01:42:25.000 No, well, I wasn't really taking care of any...
01:42:26.000 I was competing.
01:42:28.000 But if you had to, if society collapsed and they didn't have any competitions...
01:42:31.000 I'd already realized I could get my ass kicked too easy by a wrestler or by a good boxer.
01:42:36.000 I was having problems already.
01:42:38.000 Some sparring problems.
01:42:39.000 But you built a world.
01:42:42.000 And I'm not saying, like...
01:42:44.000 I like your idea.
01:42:45.000 But at the same time, it's like...
01:42:48.000 Not anybody can do exactly what you did, but anybody can take the steps that you did.
01:42:52.000 Well, I'm not saying that this world that we live in right now doesn't offer opportunity.
01:42:57.000 This world we live in offers ample opportunity.
01:43:00.000 That's not what I'm saying.
01:43:01.000 I really feel like it's possible that we're doing it wrong.
01:43:07.000 I just think, collectively, and I've said this before, so if you heard me say it before, anybody listening, I apologize, but I always say that if we looked at ourselves as an organism, if we looked at society as an organism, what would we want to fix as an organism?
01:43:21.000 Would we want to make the muscles stronger, or would we want to kill the cancer?
01:43:25.000 Would we want to figure out what's wrong with it?
01:43:27.000 Would we want to cure the disease?
01:43:29.000 Well, the disease has got to be poverty.
01:43:32.000 Like, it's the number one problem that we have is crime and poverty.
01:43:36.000 Like, we've got to focus on that area of our world.
01:43:39.000 And instead of thinking of it as, oh, they should pull themselves up by their bootstraps or, oh, they need to fucking, you know, realize there's opportunity out there.
01:43:46.000 You just got to go get it.
01:43:47.000 Everybody's got their own path.
01:43:48.000 I think collectively as just a human species, we have to look at the world's problems, like the world's real deep poverty and social problems, and look at it almost like as if we're a living creature.
01:44:01.000 If we're a living creature and there's parts of us that are starving to death, you've got to get that part food, right?
01:44:07.000 I mean, that's universal.
01:44:08.000 That's why those commercials with Sally Field's Sally Struthers.
01:44:11.000 Sally Struthers.
01:44:11.000 Sally Struthers.
01:44:12.000 Were so compelling, right?
01:44:13.000 Because you would see those babies that didn't have any food.
01:44:16.000 And be like, here's somebody who's hungry and I've got so much.
01:44:18.000 And you're like, holy shit.
01:44:20.000 These are...
01:44:21.000 I feel like we only have a certain amount of time.
01:44:25.000 You know, just as an organism that has a finite lifespan.
01:44:28.000 You have like...
01:44:29.000 100 years, if you're lucky, you know, and this thing that we're doing now where we have a president, you know, and you have to fucking go out there and earn your keep, boy.
01:44:40.000 And, you know, you get a job and, well, looks like you're gonna have to get married now.
01:44:44.000 You're a dad.
01:44:45.000 Okay.
01:44:45.000 And then you just you're like, all of a sudden, I'm dying.
01:44:48.000 Like I was living.
01:44:49.000 I worked in a factory.
01:44:50.000 Now I'm dying.
01:44:51.000 I don't know if that's the right way to make the most The most productive society.
01:44:58.000 Or the most enjoyable experience for the people that are living in this society.
01:45:02.000 It feels like a little more joy.
01:45:03.000 Goddamn, I'm high.
01:45:04.000 A little bit.
01:45:05.000 I feel like a little more joy would...
01:45:09.000 The American experience would benefit from a little more joy.
01:45:12.000 Fuck yeah.
01:45:13.000 There's so much toil.
01:45:14.000 And as you said, there's so much...
01:45:16.000 You can do anything here, but you gotta do it.
01:45:18.000 And we spend so much time chasing...
01:45:21.000 Something that makes life easier.
01:45:23.000 I'm not going to argue that.
01:45:25.000 Money makes things easier to do.
01:45:27.000 But chasing the idea of prosperity in one direction as opposed to spiritual prosperity.
01:45:33.000 Not saying religion.
01:45:35.000 Prosperity of one's soul.
01:45:36.000 Growing as a person.
01:45:38.000 Something that doesn't have to stop just because now you've entered the workplace, now you're married, and now you're falling into place with the model for society.
01:45:48.000 There's still...
01:45:49.000 A space in there for, well, and I think maybe this is where I'm coming around to your free $12,000 a year.
01:45:56.000 It's not my idea by any stretch of the imagination.
01:45:58.000 The idea of free $12,000 a year because maybe it does leave a little breathing space where suddenly in that space somebody's like, oh, I want to do this and this would make me happy.
01:46:07.000 And when I'm happy at this, it'll trickle down at work.
01:46:10.000 Like so many people are like, I go from one job to this job and, you know, and then I get the weekends maybe and my weekends are Tuesday and Thursday or something like that.
01:46:18.000 So yeah, you're right.
01:46:20.000 I was thinking like, Even I got privileges and fucking breaks that a lot of people wouldn't get.
01:46:27.000 I came from, like, poor white people, but it didn't matter.
01:46:30.000 It was white people, and so there were breaks for me out there somewhere in the world.
01:46:33.000 And I always think through that prism.
01:46:35.000 But you're right, man.
01:46:36.000 There are a lot of people out there that would benefit from, like, here's a cushion.
01:46:40.000 Here's something to start with.
01:46:42.000 Where you go from there, and what is that for?
01:46:45.000 It's $1,000 a month just for being an American.
01:46:48.000 Yeah, I mean, instead of thinking, oh, everybody's scamming to try to get welfare money, how about you just give it to them?
01:46:54.000 Just give them enough to survive.
01:46:56.000 Just give everybody enough to survive, and then let's work this shit out.
01:46:59.000 And then when you make more than X amount a year, if you're like Kevin Smith or me, you would say, look, I don't want my $12,000.
01:47:07.000 Put it back into the system.
01:47:08.000 Exactly.
01:47:09.000 Pay all your taxes, all that stuff.
01:47:11.000 Exactly.
01:47:11.000 But this would make us feel like we're looking out for each other a little bit.
01:47:15.000 I mean, I'm not fully formed on this idea.
01:47:19.000 It's just something I'm battering around in my head.
01:47:21.000 But I'm battering it around in my head the same way I'm battering around this idea that there shouldn't really be a president.
01:47:27.000 It's only there because we've been doing it this way for 300 years.
01:47:32.000 But if it didn't exist, there's no way that's how you would run it.
01:47:36.000 There's no way we would all agree, well, what we should do is we should get one person who knows the most people with the most money, who have been doing this the longest, and that person will have a giant advantage over everybody else, and get that person backed up by these huge corporations that would benefit by this person being Because you'd make laws and make environmental rules a little bit lax so we can get away with some shit and we can make more money.
01:47:56.000 There's no way we would say, yeah, let's do it that way.
01:47:58.000 There's no fucking way we would say, no, we want the geniuses of the world.
01:48:02.000 We want the professors, the Elon Musks.
01:48:06.000 We want the Bill Gates, the people that are very wise and very intelligent and very rational.
01:48:12.000 You want to talk to giant groups of them.
01:48:14.000 And we want to form our own opinions, and we should all be voting collectively as a group.
01:48:19.000 There shouldn't be some representative government, some electoral college.
01:48:23.000 What are you gonna fucking wear a powdered wig to, you cunt?
01:48:26.000 You gonna ride around on a fucking horse with some homemade horseshoes with your powdered wig and your electoral college?
01:48:33.000 Are you gonna read it on a scroll in the town square standing on an apple box?
01:48:37.000 Fuck off!
01:48:38.000 That shit is old!
01:48:40.000 See, you make me feel bad, dude, because I get high and I'm like, let me write a movie about a guy who turns a guy into a walrus.
01:48:46.000 You get high and you want to change the world.
01:48:48.000 You're a dreamer of day, man.
01:48:50.000 Sometimes.
01:48:50.000 Sometimes not at all.
01:48:51.000 Sometimes I just want to go watch that Hawaiian movie, Moana.
01:48:54.000 It's a good movie.
01:48:55.000 It was good?
01:48:56.000 It was good.
01:48:56.000 It was an adorable movie.
01:48:57.000 Let me ask you about Archery, which you seem to have fallen in love with.
01:49:00.000 Yes, I love Archery.
01:49:01.000 How fucking hard is it to pull back a bow and arrow?
01:49:04.000 It's not easy, but they make bows for people like little kids.
01:49:08.000 Like a compound bow that goes back with hollies and shit?
01:49:12.000 It depends entirely on what you're trying to do.
01:49:14.000 If you want to shoot a target, they make bows that a little kid, like my little kids were shooting bows when my daughter was three.
01:49:21.000 I got her a bow and arrow that she could kind of pull back.
01:49:23.000 I'd kind of help her.
01:49:24.000 I would have to hold on to it, and she could pull it back.
01:49:26.000 And then I'd go, we're getting ready to go in one, two, three, and she'd let it go.
01:49:31.000 Can we do that later?
01:49:32.000 Sure!
01:49:34.000 That's the way I would need to be handled.
01:49:36.000 But then for a compound bow, you have two possibilities that you're using it for.
01:49:41.000 One, which is target archery, which is what I do more than anything.
01:49:44.000 I shoot targets just in my yard and with friends, and I'll go to some ranges, and there's a place in Vegas I go to that's really cool.
01:49:52.000 And doing that is like you don't need that much power, because it's just about figuring out where the arrow's going to go and being accurate about it.
01:49:59.000 But then when you get to, if you wanted to hunt an animal with it, then you have a certain obligation to make sure that your bow is at least a certain amount, has a certain amount of power to it.
01:50:10.000 And most people agree that somewhere around 45 or 50 pounds.
01:50:15.000 It's debatable.
01:50:16.000 But in Texas, I know they're like, I think they fought back a law because they were trying to keep kids from bow hunting unless they could pull back, I think it was 35 pounds or 45 pounds.
01:50:25.000 I forget what the weight was.
01:50:26.000 So there's a measure of strength in order to do something?
01:50:28.000 They don't even do that for driving.
01:50:30.000 It's not even like, you've got to be strong enough to drive.
01:50:32.000 It's because it's not ethical.
01:50:35.000 Because you really almost don't have enough kinetic energy to actually penetrate an animal and kill it.
01:50:39.000 So you would be sticking them.
01:50:42.000 The arrow would stick out of them.
01:50:43.000 And it does happen.
01:50:45.000 So you have a certain amount of requirement of the kinetic energy where it's ethical to bow hunt.
01:50:53.000 I remember trying my father-in-law, my wife's stepdad, Byron.
01:50:59.000 Great guy.
01:51:02.000 He was a bow and arrow enthusiast.
01:51:06.000 I wouldn't call him a bow hunter because he didn't go out and hunt anything, but he was good at it.
01:51:10.000 He won medals and shit like that.
01:51:12.000 Oh, wow.
01:51:12.000 So I was writing Green Arrow at the time, and I was like, you know what, man?
01:51:16.000 I should...
01:51:17.000 If I'm going to write, he knocks and fires an arrow.
01:51:21.000 You should try knocking an arrow.
01:51:24.000 Maybe there's something there about, like, you can describe it rather than make it up.
01:51:29.000 And he took me into the backyard with a bow and arrow and a target, a big hay target with a thing on it.
01:51:34.000 And no compound or anything, just a long bow.
01:51:38.000 And, you know, I'm like, God, this is going to be easy.
01:51:40.000 Green arrow knocks like six of these at a time and shit.
01:51:44.000 I knocked one arrow and went to pull back and, like, the shake began in my arm pretty fucking quickly.
01:51:50.000 I didn't get very far back.
01:51:51.000 I was like, holy shit, man.
01:51:53.000 Probably a serious bow, huh?
01:51:54.000 Pretty serious fucking bow.
01:51:56.000 But, you know, number one, I was like, I'm not the man I thought I was.
01:52:00.000 And I didn't think I was much of a man to begin with.
01:52:02.000 But number two, I was just like...
01:52:05.000 I don't think anyone would ever choose this to fight crime.
01:52:08.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:52:09.000 So ridiculous, right?
01:52:09.000 Oh my god.
01:52:10.000 One of those things where, you know, you confront...
01:52:13.000 As much as I love this shit, I love comic books and whatnot, that was the moment where I was like, this shit falls apart.
01:52:18.000 Like, you always find yourself defending the notion of a Batman to people like, come on, dude, if you had all the money and you lost your parents, you had all the time to fucking commit to your body, turning it into a weapon, you could be Batman.
01:52:29.000 There could be no Superman.
01:52:30.000 He comes from fucking space.
01:52:32.000 But there could be a Batman.
01:52:33.000 And then...
01:52:34.000 All you have to do is try pulling back a bow and arrow once and you realize, like, well, there couldn't be a green arrow.
01:52:41.000 No.
01:52:41.000 And he's got it easier than a Batman.
01:52:43.000 Yeah.
01:52:43.000 So if that can't exist, then this probably can't exist.
01:52:47.000 Although, like we were talking about on an episode of Smodcast the other day, could...
01:52:53.000 Could you, like, I saw a video they did on Penn& Teller, Penn& Teller were doing it, where somebody shot a bullet at a samurai sword, and, you know, they had it calibrated so it was hitting directly into the middle of the blade, and it split the bullet in two.
01:53:09.000 And then the idea was, like, could a butter knife do the same thing?
01:53:12.000 And, of course, the butter knife did the same thing.
01:53:14.000 It split the bullet.
01:53:14.000 So it didn't matter if it was hammered a thousand times, razor's edge samurai sword or a butter knife, that bullet hitting that target split in two.
01:53:23.000 So we were talking about it on the podcast.
01:53:25.000 I was like, well, that to me, I said, that to me is proof now that you could fight crime with a katana sword.
01:53:32.000 I was like, you have to be super fucking fast, I said to Scott.
01:53:36.000 And Scott's like, yeah.
01:53:37.000 And Scott's making fun of me because he's gone.
01:53:39.000 Because I said, I'm not saying you have to be Batman.
01:53:42.000 He's like, and then I am saying you do have to be Batman.
01:53:45.000 But I'm saying, like, if you were the guy who held a sword and somebody fired a bullet and it split, would the kickback of the bullet throw the sword into you?
01:53:54.000 It very well could, for sure.
01:53:55.000 This thing was, a concrete block was holding the samurai sword.
01:53:58.000 So, you know, we talked about it on the podcast, and then, God bless the internet, somebody sent us a link of some other fucking show where they had a guy holding a sword, like a samurai swordsman, like modern-day swordsman.
01:54:12.000 Cuts of baseball in half?
01:54:13.000 No, fucking metal BB pellet.
01:54:16.000 It was fucking nuts.
01:54:18.000 Now, the other thing I watched, it was like, you know, they had the gun calibrated on a hinge and a laser scope so that it would hit exactly what they were going for.
01:54:27.000 This guy hand-eyed it, man.
01:54:30.000 Dude, feel that.
01:54:31.000 This is from the 1500s.
01:54:33.000 That's a legit samurai sword.
01:54:35.000 Feel how heavy that is?
01:54:36.000 Thank God I didn't live back then.
01:54:38.000 I'd be dead.
01:54:39.000 That's a legit samurai sword from the 1500s.
01:54:42.000 Sharp or not sharp?
01:54:43.000 That's the real deal.
01:54:44.000 Oh yeah, it's sharp.
01:54:45.000 Careful, bitch.
01:54:46.000 Ah!
01:54:47.000 Don't do it!
01:54:48.000 Now, this guy pulled one of these, and he was like this.
01:54:52.000 Ready?
01:54:53.000 Yeah.
01:54:54.000 And then the guy fired the gun, and he went...
01:54:56.000 Swipes through the air.
01:54:58.000 And so, you know, then they roll back the footage, and goddammit, if he didn't fucking split that thing.
01:55:03.000 And dude, like, again, the first one...
01:55:04.000 So he could have died.
01:55:04.000 You sure it's not CGI? No, this was real.
01:55:07.000 You gotta look it up.
01:55:08.000 Have you snopes this?
01:55:09.000 Um...
01:55:10.000 No, I haven't.
01:55:11.000 I can't live in a constant world of snoping.
01:55:14.000 We must.
01:55:14.000 We must.
01:55:15.000 No, because think about our childhoods.
01:55:16.000 When we were kids, someone would be like, the Loch Ness Monster would be like, fuck yeah, it's real.
01:55:21.000 Oh, dude.
01:55:21.000 If you could have snoped that shit, you've got no imagination in your childhood.
01:55:25.000 Look at this guy!
01:55:26.000 Okay, that was it, right?
01:55:28.000 And now they play it back.
01:55:29.000 He just whipped it out and fucking cut.
01:55:31.000 Now wait until they play it back.
01:55:32.000 This is a scam.
01:55:33.000 First of all, this Japanese guy looks like he's cock blocking this guy and his girl.
01:55:37.000 Doesn't it?
01:55:38.000 Like leaning over his shoulder like, hey bro, I'm talking to her.
01:55:40.000 Well, he's about to earn it.
01:55:41.000 I'd fuck this guy.
01:55:42.000 Watch.
01:55:42.000 Watch this.
01:55:44.000 Here it comes.
01:55:45.000 Fushing!
01:55:46.000 Yo, I see CGI. Now, I added these special effects there myself.
01:55:49.000 It was all red up there.
01:55:50.000 See all that red stuff?
01:55:51.000 That shit wasn't real.
01:55:51.000 That's what happens in real life.
01:55:52.000 See, this is CGI, bro.
01:55:54.000 We know for sure it's CGI. There it is, there it is, there it is.
01:55:56.000 Maybe.
01:55:57.000 They removed the rings.
01:55:58.000 And now they'll pick it up up and down.
01:56:00.000 I smell Hollywood.
01:56:00.000 Bullshit, that's real.
01:56:01.000 That's gotta be real, right?
01:56:03.000 Look, they talked to Dr. Rahmani.
01:56:05.000 She's hot.
01:56:05.000 Right?
01:56:06.000 And she's gotta be smart.
01:56:07.000 They got her there in the desert.
01:56:08.000 Check out the one where the guy cuts the softball in half, or a baseball rather.
01:56:12.000 It's one of those baseball machines- That's a pretty big target.
01:56:14.000 I'm not saying I could do it, but that dude hit a BB, man.
01:56:17.000 I just don't believe that's real.
01:56:19.000 You don't think so?
01:56:19.000 I think he'd be an hoaxed.
01:56:20.000 Come on, man.
01:56:21.000 Were you the kid that didn't believe in Bigfoot when you were a kid?
01:56:23.000 Dude, are you kidding me?
01:56:24.000 I lived for Bigfoot.
01:56:25.000 I went looking for Bigfoot for a TV show.
01:56:27.000 I spent a week looking for Bigfoot.
01:56:29.000 So if you can believe in Bigfoot, why can't you believe in that?
01:56:31.000 I can't believe in Bigfoot because I spent a week looking for Bigfoot.
01:56:34.000 I had a bit in my act I was doing.
01:56:35.000 You know what you don't find when you go looking for Bigfoot?
01:56:38.000 Black people.
01:56:39.000 You're more likely to find Bigfoot than you are black people out looking for Bigfoot.
01:56:43.000 I go, what you find is unfuckable white dudes camping.
01:56:46.000 Just wandering through the woods, trying to work out whatever's in their head.
01:56:50.000 Very little of it is about Bigfoot.
01:56:52.000 If you gave everybody $12,000, a lot more people would go looking for Bigfoot.
01:56:56.000 Maybe they'd find them.
01:56:58.000 Maybe they should at least find something.
01:57:00.000 I love about you.
01:57:01.000 You're like, you know what, dude?
01:57:02.000 You haven't thought this through.
01:57:04.000 12K a year could find Bigfoot.
01:57:07.000 You know, when I knew that...
01:57:09.000 I always had a feeling that it was probably horseshit.
01:57:14.000 Yeti, too?
01:57:14.000 Does that cover Yeti and Abominable Snowman?
01:57:17.000 There used to be an animal called a Gigantopithecus.
01:57:20.000 That's what a lot of this is based on.
01:57:21.000 The Gigantopithecus lived as recently as 100,000 years ago.
01:57:24.000 Ape?
01:57:24.000 Or man?
01:57:25.000 It was a bipedal hominid in the orangutan family that was potentially eight feet tall.
01:57:32.000 A sky ape.
01:57:33.000 Giant, fucking, big, standing, freaky ape thing.
01:57:38.000 And the reason why they figured out it was bipedal...
01:57:41.000 Like Dr. Zaneus, dude.
01:57:42.000 Yeah.
01:57:43.000 Well, like Bigfoot.
01:57:45.000 Really, it would be Bigfoot.
01:57:48.000 It's bipedal like us.
01:57:50.000 And they don't know if that's true or not because they only have some jaw bones.
01:57:55.000 See, what happened was this guy found a tooth in an apothecary shop in China.
01:58:00.000 I want to say the 1920s.
01:58:03.000 And he was an anthropologist.
01:58:05.000 And when he was there, he looked at us like, what's this?
01:58:08.000 Where'd you get this?
01:58:09.000 And they took him to the place where they got it.
01:58:11.000 He saw the tooth.
01:58:12.000 And he recognized it as a primate tooth, but far larger than a gorilla is, far larger than a human being.
01:58:17.000 He's like, whoa, this is like a giant tooth.
01:58:20.000 What the fuck's going on?
01:58:21.000 They took him to this spot, and then he found more bones.
01:58:23.000 And then it was eventually recognized as an actual animal, and they call it Gigantopithecus.
01:58:28.000 They just don't know that.
01:58:30.000 That could have been Bigfoot?
01:58:31.000 Yeah, let me show them the picture of Gigantopithecus next to a person.
01:58:34.000 What area of the world was Gigantopithecus?
01:58:37.000 I found the baseball guy.
01:58:37.000 It's the same guy.
01:58:38.000 Okay, but just right now, before we get to the baseball guy, show the picture of Gigantopithecus next to a human being.
01:58:45.000 Gigantopithecus.
01:58:46.000 This is, you know, scientists believe this.
01:58:48.000 So this is not like Bigfoot researchers that are claiming this is a real animal.
01:58:53.000 This is like actual scientists.
01:58:54.000 There's a picture of one standing right next to a dude.
01:58:58.000 It's like a statue of Gigantopithecus covered in hair.
01:59:01.000 You got it?
01:59:01.000 It's huge.
01:59:02.000 So this was a real animal.
01:59:04.000 That right there.
01:59:06.000 Gigantor.
01:59:06.000 That's Harry and the Hendersons.
01:59:07.000 That is Bigfoot.
01:59:09.000 I mean, if that is what...
01:59:10.000 And again, this is not Bigfoot researchers.
01:59:12.000 They didn't create this.
01:59:13.000 This is created by actual anthropologists.
01:59:15.000 When did this exist?
01:59:17.000 As recently as 100,000 years ago.
01:59:20.000 So, no chance that there's one still hanging out?
01:59:23.000 Oh, there's definitely a chance.
01:59:24.000 It's just, I mean, unless we comb every inch of the earth and we give an audit on every single living creature that is in the densest of dense forests, we can't really say that.
01:59:35.000 That's true.
01:59:36.000 Because they find new shit all the time.
01:59:37.000 Thank you for keeping the magic alive, dude.
01:59:38.000 We find new shit all the time.
01:59:39.000 And the Pacific Northwest where these things, the reason why it works, it works geologically or geographically because that animal existed in Asia.
01:59:49.000 We know that humans came from Asia, like literally American Indians, Native Americans, they're from Siberia.
01:59:55.000 Like they have the same DNA as people who came from Asia.
01:59:59.000 They came across that Bering Strait.
02:00:01.000 So we were all connected to Pangaea or something like that?
02:00:02.000 The whole thing has been connected and separated for as long as humans have been human, right?
02:00:08.000 If we came from that area, we know that a bunch of other animals came from that area too, and they think that it's entirely possible that that big-ass monkey thing came from that area too.
02:00:17.000 Somebody brought it with them?
02:00:18.000 It just came, like all these other things.
02:00:20.000 Just took a walk before us.
02:00:21.000 Just like, let's make the walk.
02:00:23.000 That could be where the whole Yeti thing comes from.
02:00:25.000 The Yeti thing is one of those living in an extremely cold climate during the Ice Age.
02:00:29.000 I mean, it's entirely possible.
02:00:30.000 And people either saw remnants of it, but never alive.
02:00:34.000 They would have never crossed paths.
02:00:35.000 I bet they did back in the day, for sure.
02:00:37.000 I bet they did.
02:00:38.000 Are you serious?
02:00:39.000 Yeah, 100%.
02:00:40.000 We cross paths with all the other great apes.
02:00:42.000 We cross paths with orangutans.
02:00:43.000 Why wouldn't we think we'd cross paths with a gigantopithecus?
02:00:46.000 Because you'd see it and you'd fucking run.
02:00:48.000 If it's really smart, it would have a fucking house and a cell phone.
02:00:51.000 It's not smart enough to hide from us.
02:00:53.000 Like, get the fuck out of here.
02:00:55.000 If we could find a gorilla...
02:00:57.000 This is the problem.
02:00:57.000 We can find a gorilla.
02:00:58.000 We can find a chimp.
02:00:59.000 We can find the howler monkey.
02:01:00.000 But this one monkey is so slick.
02:01:03.000 It's still a monkey.
02:01:04.000 It doesn't even have pants.
02:01:05.000 This stupid fuck.
02:01:06.000 He doesn't have shoes.
02:01:07.000 He doesn't have a house.
02:01:08.000 Is that your barometer for intelligence?
02:01:10.000 You like pants or no pants?
02:01:11.000 I could beat a man with no pants.
02:01:13.000 You're going to freeze death or you're going to figure out fire?
02:01:15.000 You're walking around on two legs like you're the shit.
02:01:18.000 Come on, bro.
02:01:19.000 Figure it out.
02:01:19.000 So if he could figure out nothing except escaping people, he'd be like, wow, what an extraordinarily intelligent animal.
02:01:27.000 It's figured out at least how to get the fuck away from people.
02:01:30.000 But it doesn't even have a house.
02:01:31.000 Come on.
02:01:33.000 I'm not buying it.
02:01:34.000 I don't think it's a real thing.
02:01:35.000 I'm with you, but...
02:01:36.000 I think it was a real thing.
02:01:38.000 I think it was a real thing, but I don't think it is a real thing.
02:01:41.000 So do you think somebody sees one of those frozen in a cave and then it's passed down...
02:01:47.000 Or they could have encountered it.
02:01:49.000 If people have been around for, I think, what did we decide the other day in this forum?
02:01:52.000 I think the consensus is like at least 250,000 years we've been in this forum.
02:01:57.000 That means for 150,000 years we lived around those fucking things.
02:02:02.000 And that has got to be in our head.
02:02:04.000 Because most likely they were probably peaceful because they were so big, like orangutans.
02:02:07.000 But if that wanted to, it would just throw you like a water balloon.
02:02:12.000 And you would splatter against a coconut tree.
02:02:15.000 And that would be the end of that.
02:02:16.000 And you'd imagine there'd be someone in our history where we're like, and then there was the Great Ape War.
02:02:19.000 We probably killed them.
02:02:20.000 We probably figured out bows and arrows.
02:02:22.000 And we probably started fucking killing them from a distance.
02:02:25.000 It's probably why we're alive and they're not.
02:02:26.000 And nobody remembers?
02:02:28.000 It's too long ago.
02:02:29.000 How can we know?
02:02:30.000 I know shit about my grandmother and grandfather.
02:02:34.000 We know we killed those hobbit people.
02:02:36.000 That's a fairly new revelation.
02:02:39.000 Island of Flores.
02:02:41.000 There's a small being that they found on the island of Flores that's in the human species.
02:02:46.000 They're literally calling the hobbit people.
02:02:48.000 It's called like homo floriensis or something like that.
02:02:53.000 And this is 100% confirmed now.
02:02:57.000 I mean, this is 100% accepted by mainstream science that this was an actual type of human being or type of...
02:03:05.000 So where?
02:03:05.000 The third one in?
02:03:06.000 Yeah, the third one in.
02:03:07.000 That was a real animal.
02:03:08.000 It wasn't a human, necessarily like a homo sapien, but it was some humanid or hominid.
02:03:16.000 Some human-like hobbit person.
02:03:17.000 Based on finding skull?
02:03:18.000 Finding a bunch of them.
02:03:19.000 There was a bunch of resistance.
02:03:24.000 Now when I say that it definitely lived, there are people to this day that don't think it lived.
02:03:29.000 But the vast consensus amongst these anthropologists is that this is a real animal.
02:03:35.000 But there's always going to be people that are willing to debate it and...
02:03:40.000 They found a bunch of bones of these little tiny people-like things.
02:03:43.000 And what they think is that these are literally like hobbit people.
02:03:47.000 And that there has always been a legend of...
02:03:50.000 I forget what part of the world it's called, but there's a thing called the Oren Pendek.
02:03:55.000 Think that's how you say it?
02:03:56.000 Oren Pendek?
02:03:57.000 And that was a little tiny ape-like person.
02:04:00.000 And they think that this legend of these little tiny ape-like people, it was this species.
02:04:06.000 That this was a real species.
02:04:07.000 And they think that this real species might have even preyed on human children.
02:04:11.000 They might have been competing for resources.
02:04:13.000 We might have cannibalized them.
02:04:16.000 Yeah, it's entirely possible that we cannibalized Neanderthals as well.
02:04:21.000 Maybe that's where the grim fairy tales come from, like the troll that comes to steal your baby and shit like that.
02:04:26.000 I had this guy, Dr. Jordan Peterson from the University of Toronto the other day on the podcast, and he was telling me a story about how when the fall of the Soviet Union or in Russia in the 1930s and during Marxism, that they had signs, they had made signs telling people not to eat their children.
02:04:43.000 Why?
02:04:44.000 Because people were so starving to death they were eating their fucking children.
02:04:47.000 So they had to make billboards saying don't eat your children.
02:04:52.000 Okay.
02:04:53.000 We just went on a different track.
02:04:54.000 I thought we were talking about the hobbits still.
02:04:56.000 Well, we are.
02:04:56.000 I mean, I'm talking about cannibalism.
02:04:58.000 But you're saying, like, human beings have been known to eat a human being.
02:05:00.000 This was in the 1900s, through the 20th century.
02:05:02.000 In our era.
02:05:03.000 In Russia, they were telling people, don't eat your children.
02:05:05.000 I mean, however many had happened, three people ate their kids, four?
02:05:08.000 I don't know what the numbers were.
02:05:09.000 But if that was enough to the point where the government wanted to have a sign that said, please don't eat your children, like, holy shit.
02:05:15.000 Yeah, that's pretty metal.
02:05:16.000 Dude, it's as metal as it gets.
02:05:18.000 People have been eating people for a long-ass time.
02:05:22.000 And then we stopped.
02:05:23.000 Why?
02:05:23.000 Because of civilization?
02:05:24.000 Because it's not good for you.
02:05:25.000 No?
02:05:25.000 That's where mad cow disease comes from.
02:05:27.000 Did you know that?
02:05:28.000 Oh my god.
02:05:29.000 I... Thank God I cleared out a bunch of my head so I could walk out of here with a bunch more knowledge.
02:05:34.000 Go!
02:05:35.000 Fire!
02:05:35.000 Mad cow disease comes from something called prions.
02:05:38.000 Yeah, the prions in the brain.
02:05:39.000 Eating other prions.
02:05:41.000 It comes from eating the brain tissue of other human beings.
02:05:45.000 That's one of the ways you get it.
02:05:47.000 Like in Papua New Guinea, the cannibals of New Guinea, they developed, I think it's called Jacob Korksfeld, which is technically mad cow disease.
02:05:54.000 It's the exact same thing.
02:05:56.000 We're getting it because they're feeding cows cows.
02:05:59.000 Right.
02:05:59.000 They're feeding cows ground up brain matter, which they're not supposed to fucking eat.
02:06:03.000 The cows eat that.
02:06:04.000 They develop these prions.
02:06:05.000 The people eat that tainted beef and the prions get into their body.
02:06:09.000 That goes into their own brains and does damage to them.
02:06:10.000 And these fucking prions can exist in like a thousand degree temperatures.
02:06:13.000 They're like these indestructible organisms.
02:06:16.000 And they invade your central nervous system.
02:06:18.000 But it's one thing you feed a cow another cow, but you're saying...
02:06:21.000 That this has existed prior to mad cow disease called something else in human beings.
02:06:25.000 Well, it's probably set up to discourage predation amongst the same species that you are a part of.
02:06:33.000 Because if cows get it from eating cows...
02:06:35.000 We evolved essentially to not eat...
02:06:37.000 Yeah, and especially the brain tissue.
02:06:40.000 The brain tissue is apparently where we could really differentiate it.
02:06:43.000 Like if you eat someone else's brain tissue, that's like the New Guinea neurological Jacobs Crutzfeldt, which affects cannibals.
02:06:51.000 Like literally a fucking disease affects cannibals.
02:06:54.000 It's like a neurological disease when you eat brain matter from your own species.
02:06:59.000 That's how they get it.
02:07:01.000 It's crazy.
02:07:02.000 Maybe that's a reason why people stopped eating people.
02:07:05.000 I don't want to get the shakes like this guy.
02:07:08.000 It's nature discouraging that, that this is an aberrant behavior.
02:07:10.000 This is not what we want.
02:07:12.000 It's not conducive to the survival of the species.
02:07:17.000 That's where it gets weird.
02:07:18.000 A riddled cow brain.
02:07:20.000 Let's say there was a normal cow brain that didn't have mad cow disease in it.
02:07:23.000 No prions.
02:07:24.000 Could I eat that brain?
02:07:25.000 Is that okay for me?
02:07:26.000 Can I eat the brain of another species?
02:07:27.000 A normal cow brain you most certainly can eat.
02:07:29.000 People eat lamb's brains and calves' brains.
02:07:32.000 It's very, very common that people eat brains.
02:07:34.000 Why?
02:07:34.000 Because it's delicacy?
02:07:36.000 Yeah, it's like a delicacy.
02:07:37.000 It's an organ that some people even prefer for some meals.
02:07:41.000 Some people love eating lamb's brain and cow's brain.
02:07:44.000 Yeah, it's trippy.
02:07:46.000 But do you get any...
02:07:47.000 Is there any...
02:07:48.000 Disease from it.
02:07:49.000 Or nutrient from it.
02:07:50.000 Do you get something that you don't get from eating another meat?
02:07:54.000 That's a good question.
02:07:56.000 I'm not saying, will it make me smarter, need a lamb's brain?
02:07:59.000 But I am saying, will it make some part of me stronger?
02:08:02.000 What if it did?
02:08:02.000 What if it did make you smarter?
02:08:04.000 But cows aren't that smart.
02:08:05.000 That wouldn't be bad.
02:08:07.000 Thank you very much.
02:08:09.000 How dare you.
02:08:10.000 If you ate a really intelligent thing, I wonder if you'd get more intelligent.
02:08:17.000 Well, obviously, it would have to be something outside your species.
02:08:21.000 Imagine.
02:08:22.000 Imagine if there was, like, magic in brains.
02:08:24.000 And the more brains you ate, the more power your brain had.
02:08:27.000 Yeah.
02:08:28.000 I think people have believed that.
02:08:29.000 Is it a zombie thing?
02:08:30.000 Brains.
02:08:30.000 I don't know if that's necessary.
02:08:31.000 Well, the zombies...
02:08:33.000 They used to want brains.
02:08:33.000 ...have called for brains in the...
02:08:36.000 Not in the Romero flick.
02:08:38.000 No.
02:08:38.000 Well, think about it.
02:08:39.000 Romero's the modern father of zombies, right?
02:08:42.000 Yeah.
02:08:43.000 I mean, the concept of an undead human has been around forever, but calling it a zombie, it comes out of the graveyard, it wants to eat your brains.
02:08:52.000 I don't think they ever said brains in that movie.
02:08:55.000 The zombies never say brains.
02:08:56.000 Who did say brains?
02:08:57.000 Who do you think said brains first?
02:08:58.000 I think the first one that might have happened, and you can look it up, but I think it's...
02:09:04.000 Is it Revenge of the Living Dead, which had nothing to do with the Night of the Living Dead?
02:09:08.000 Oh yes!
02:09:08.000 That one was great!
02:09:09.000 Remember the scene in the cemetery where the girl has sex, she takes her gear off?
02:09:13.000 Yeah.
02:09:13.000 I remember watching that in early days of cable and I'm like, oh my gosh, she's going to have sex right here in the graveyard.
02:09:17.000 And then there's a zombie attack.
02:09:19.000 Dude, that movie was great!
02:09:20.000 It was a really wonderful film.
02:09:21.000 That was a fun movie!
02:09:22.000 Because it was kind of tongue-in-cheek.
02:09:24.000 It did.
02:09:25.000 It had a hipness to it, something funny to it and shit.
02:09:27.000 But it was pretty committed to its gore as well.
02:09:29.000 I've got to write that down.
02:09:30.000 Revenge of the Living Dead.
02:09:31.000 Revenge of the Living Dead.
02:09:32.000 Share childhood.
02:09:33.000 I can't hate on zombies because I'm bailing on The Walking Dead.
02:09:38.000 I've got to fulfill my zombie love elsewhere.
02:09:40.000 Is that what it's called?
02:09:41.000 Return of the Living Dead.
02:09:43.000 1985, that's right.
02:09:45.000 And what did it say?
02:09:46.000 Oh, because it was made by John Russo parted ways and reached the agreement that Russo would retain the rights to the living dead suffix while Romero agreed to use of the dead in any subsequent How funny, man.
02:10:00.000 Those are the two dudes who came up with Night of the Living Dead.
02:10:02.000 So he's like, you take Living Dead and I'll take of the whatever.
02:10:08.000 That's hilarious.
02:10:09.000 They split it up.
02:10:09.000 They negotiated it.
02:10:11.000 That's hilarious.
02:10:12.000 That seems rational, though.
02:10:13.000 Not bad.
02:10:14.000 I like to think they did that with a smile and they shook hands.
02:10:16.000 Do you think George Romero is like, man, I wish I'd put my zombies on TV? I don't know, man.
02:10:22.000 That's what I'm saying.
02:10:23.000 The problem is it's not about zombies anymore.
02:10:25.000 The zombies have, like, they're so radically different.
02:10:28.000 Go back to these little people.
02:10:29.000 Could they eat human brains?
02:10:30.000 Yeah, that was the problem.
02:10:31.000 One of the things they were speculating.
02:10:33.000 We gotta finish that, man.
02:10:34.000 One of the things they were speculating.
02:10:36.000 They loved human brains.
02:10:36.000 Is that those things might have preyed on people and that we might have preyed on them.
02:10:40.000 And that might be also what we did to the Neanderthals.
02:10:44.000 They found Neanderthals, apparently, that had some scouring marks inside their heads.
02:10:49.000 Like we might have, like, someone in the past might have killed a Neanderthal and then ate him and broke his brain open and scooped the brains out and cooked it.
02:10:57.000 Yeah.
02:10:58.000 Whoa.
02:10:59.000 Yeah.
02:11:00.000 Super, super, super hard to survive 500,000 years ago.
02:11:05.000 Put it in perspective when you're sitting around going like, man, the person I wanted to win the presidency didn't win the presidency.
02:11:10.000 And you're like, there was a time, dude, where you'd be eating Neanderthals brains and you'd be sitting there going, never thought I'd be here, but you'd be doing it.
02:11:17.000 And by the way, you would be one of the lucky ones.
02:11:21.000 Because most people, they'd be eating your brains.
02:11:23.000 That's true.
02:11:23.000 If you were eating Neanderthal brains, you survived, dude.
02:11:26.000 You clubbed him with that mastodon bone over the fucking head while he was trying to rape your mom or whatever the hell went on.
02:11:30.000 Oh my god, every story goes dark.
02:11:32.000 Can't it just be like a first Thanksgiving story where like me and the Neanderthals like come to a common ground.
02:11:37.000 No, you're eating his brain.
02:11:38.000 They give me a brain and I give them some wheat.
02:11:40.000 Maybe.
02:11:40.000 Like a dude who just fell.
02:11:43.000 We have no need for him.
02:11:44.000 Eat his brain.
02:11:45.000 And like, once a year.
02:11:46.000 We'll only do this once a year.
02:11:47.000 Right.
02:11:47.000 Imagine if that was the deal.
02:11:48.000 Like, look, we're not going to kill you.
02:11:50.000 Please don't kill us.
02:11:50.000 But if one of your guys dies, can we eat him?
02:11:53.000 That's not, I mean, call me crude, but that's not a bad deal, right?
02:11:55.000 It's not the worst deal.
02:11:57.000 And think about this.
02:11:57.000 It's like, why?
02:11:58.000 What are you going to do with him?
02:11:59.000 I know there's the sentimentality and the nostalgia of like, oh, the dead.
02:12:02.000 But it's like, you're just going to put him in the ground.
02:12:03.000 He's going to rot.
02:12:04.000 What a waste of energy.
02:12:06.000 So you give us your dead, we'll give you our dead, and that will keep peace amongst the living.
02:12:10.000 Dude, we're onto a movie right here.
02:12:12.000 Or a better version of government in a world where you're like, who needs a president?
02:12:16.000 Maybe this.
02:12:17.000 This is the civilization stabilizer.
02:12:20.000 Have you ever heard of a Tibetan sky funeral?
02:12:22.000 No.
02:12:23.000 Dude, prepare to freak the fuck out.
02:12:26.000 Here we go.
02:12:27.000 Because the way they handle it in Tibet, the Himalayas, they take the body out, they score it, they chop it up into chunks, and then the vultures come in.
02:12:37.000 And they get it down to the bone, and then they smash the bones up, and then the vultures come in and they consume the bones.
02:12:44.000 And they do it all.
02:12:45.000 There's images of it.
02:12:46.000 You can watch it all.
02:12:46.000 Here, pull it up.
02:12:47.000 That blew my mind as much as I'm like, that's kind of a letdown.
02:12:49.000 No, no, it's intense.
02:12:50.000 Then they take the bones.
02:12:52.000 This is how they deal with their dead.
02:12:54.000 They feed them.
02:12:55.000 To the vultures.
02:12:55.000 They literally feed them to vultures.
02:12:57.000 And they film it.
02:12:58.000 And they take photos of this.
02:12:59.000 This is like this intense ceremony that they do of their dead.
02:13:03.000 Oh, this is what they do now.
02:13:03.000 Well, you can see it.
02:13:04.000 That's why I'm having Jamie pull it up.
02:13:06.000 I thought this was like the pictures of the little people that didn't exist anymore.
02:13:09.000 This is happening right now.
02:13:10.000 This is on Live Lake, too, so I'm not going to put it up.
02:13:13.000 So no cemeteries for them.
02:13:14.000 Just go in with the images, because there's a bunch of websites that have some Tibetan Sky Funeral.
02:13:19.000 I mean, we don't want to watch it necessarily.
02:13:21.000 Let's just look at some of the images.
02:13:23.000 But they film them now.
02:13:25.000 I'd rather watch it than go to one, like if I have to choose between the two.
02:13:29.000 Yeah, you don't want to be there while that's going down.
02:13:30.000 It might be a little weird.
02:13:31.000 It might be up on YouTube either, though.
02:13:33.000 Just give me the images so that we can see them.
02:13:35.000 So that's just a spinal cord and a skull.
02:13:38.000 And mind you, this is the upper left hand corner.
02:13:40.000 This is just one of their dead monks.
02:13:42.000 Just a regular person.
02:13:43.000 So rather than bury them in the ground or burn them?
02:13:45.000 Look at this guy.
02:13:45.000 He's just getting picked apart.
02:13:47.000 And then after they pick him apart, like he's almost down to nothing, then they have the bones and they'll take the bones and smash them.
02:13:54.000 And the birds will come in and eat the bones.
02:13:57.000 And the birds know, like if you just clicked on, Jamie, up above, right there.
02:14:01.000 Like, where you see the body?
02:14:03.000 Right next to that.
02:14:04.000 Yeah, look at that.
02:14:04.000 So they're taking this guy and they just, they treat him...
02:14:07.000 Is that a dead human being?
02:14:08.000 No, it's a bunch of dead human beings.
02:14:10.000 They take these human beings that die in wherever part of the world this is, in Tibet, And they cut their bodies up for the vultures.
02:14:19.000 And they wear gloves.
02:14:20.000 I mean, these are modern people.
02:14:22.000 Look, he's got Levi's on and a belt.
02:14:24.000 And he's chopping up this person's body.
02:14:27.000 And then they leave it out there.
02:14:29.000 And if you go through those series of pictures, Jamie, there's a whole series of them.
02:14:31.000 Oh my god.
02:14:32.000 And you see...
02:14:33.000 Oh.
02:14:34.000 Yeah.
02:14:34.000 I wasn't ready for that.
02:14:35.000 It's deep.
02:14:36.000 I can't unsee that shit.
02:14:37.000 It's deep.
02:14:37.000 I thought they were just throwing dead bodies out there letting the vultures pick them clean.
02:14:40.000 Well, in order to help...
02:14:42.000 Yeah, they help because they want it to be done within a good amount of time.
02:14:45.000 And the more it's chopped up like that, the more vultures it'll attract and the quicker the whole process will be.
02:14:50.000 What is the reaction?
02:14:52.000 Do you think it's, ooh, squeamish, or do you think it's ego?
02:14:55.000 Do you think it's just like, what?
02:14:57.000 Like, no, I'm far more complex.
02:14:59.000 Like, I've got way more going on in my head and body.
02:15:01.000 I can't wind up as bird food, but at the end of the day, you're food for something.
02:15:05.000 Yeah, man, it's not the worst way to go.
02:15:07.000 Because you're gone.
02:15:09.000 Well, I mean, as long as you don't go, like, you know, fucking, like, at the mouth of something while you're still alive.
02:15:14.000 But if they were like, look, when you're dead, however you pass, we want to feed you to something else.
02:15:19.000 Yeah.
02:15:20.000 I think I'm okay with that.
02:15:21.000 Well, particularly, like...
02:15:22.000 Because I feed a lot, motherfucker.
02:15:23.000 They'd remember me.
02:15:24.000 They'd be like, oh, he fed the village for, like, nine months.
02:15:26.000 Who...
02:15:27.000 You'd be amazed how quick they put you down.
02:15:29.000 They'd eat you so fast.
02:15:31.000 They'd eat a whole elephant.
02:15:33.000 A dude would go fast.
02:15:34.000 You'd disappear in a second.
02:15:36.000 Yeah.
02:15:36.000 I know a dude who was in Africa when someone shot an elephant.
02:15:38.000 He said they just chopped that elephant up to like a million pieces and handed them out to all these villagers.
02:15:43.000 They came from far and wide to get elephant meat.
02:15:46.000 I was like, whoa.
02:15:47.000 So everyone could eat.
02:15:48.000 And that's an instance of a bunch of people eating, not some asshole who's just like, hey man, I killed something, just kill something.
02:15:54.000 Well, I don't know who killed the actual elephant.
02:15:57.000 It might have been one of those guys that just went there to kill an elephant.
02:16:01.000 But when they killed the elephant...
02:16:03.000 It's such a catch-22, but when they kill the elephant, it's very beneficial to the environment because they can pay for more of the park rangers to protect the elephants against poachers, and then the people all around the village get the meat.
02:16:16.000 The thing is, some places, elephants are endangered, but some places, the people decide there's a surplus, those elephants, because they're trampling on people's crops or eating people's stuff.
02:16:27.000 You know, automatically you say, like, hey, you should never kill elephants, for sure.
02:16:31.000 But the real problem is with some of these extremely poor people where elephants invade their crops, you can't do a goddamn thing.
02:16:39.000 And those are the people that want help, and then they hire someone to come and kill an elephant.
02:16:44.000 The whole thing's very fucked up.
02:16:45.000 Way more complex than my teenage daughter May painted.
02:16:49.000 Well, I mean, we would all like to think that human beings and elephants live so far away from each other that it was a non-issue, and we just let the elephants survive out there in the wild and leave them the fuck alone.
02:16:59.000 That's what we'd all like, right?
02:17:00.000 Right.
02:17:01.000 The problem with that is they do live with people, and they live with people that are super poor, and they live with people that have houses that are made out of fucking hay, and they're people too.
02:17:10.000 And as we all know, elephants like hay.
02:17:13.000 Yeah.
02:17:15.000 It's not always that.
02:17:18.000 There's a lot of it as trophy hunting.
02:17:20.000 There's a lot of it as poachers trying to steal ivory.
02:17:22.000 There's a lot of real darkness to killing elephants, no doubt about it.
02:17:26.000 And ideally, no one should ever have to kill an elephant.
02:17:29.000 But if you don't want those people to kill the elephants...
02:17:32.000 Someone's got to figure out a way to at least capture them and make it valuable to transport them to some other part of Africa where they're not going to kill this guy or trample and eat all of his crops.
02:17:44.000 Unless you don't give a fuck about the guy, and you don't care, and you say, well, that guy's going to have to starve to death because the elephant is just as important as a living organism as the guy is, which is another argument.
02:17:57.000 Something has to fall in order for you to rise.
02:18:00.000 I see how people think that way.
02:18:02.000 I understand.
02:18:03.000 I understand where they're coming from.
02:18:04.000 I disagree.
02:18:05.000 I'm more into people.
02:18:07.000 I like people more than any other animal.
02:18:09.000 But I love other animals too, so I get where they're coming from.
02:18:11.000 I just think that it's complex.
02:18:15.000 Eating any animal is complex.
02:18:16.000 Ugh.
02:18:17.000 My buddy Brian just killed a rat in his house.
02:18:21.000 He had a rat trap, and he killed a rat.
02:18:23.000 And I was like, whoa, you got him.
02:18:25.000 Whoa, that's good.
02:18:26.000 And I sent him a text message.
02:18:27.000 You got him.
02:18:28.000 And I was thinking, this is one of the few animals you could cheer for its murder.
02:18:32.000 And people back you up.
02:18:33.000 Yeah, everybody backs you up.
02:18:35.000 You showed a picture of a rat that you killed with a trap, like, ah, must have been satisfying.
02:18:41.000 Yeah, well done, man.
02:18:42.000 Fuck, ooh, that grosses me out.
02:18:43.000 If you're watching TV and you hear a snap, And you're like, motherfucker.
02:18:47.000 And you go in the kitchen, and you've got a fat rat.
02:18:50.000 You are happy.
02:18:52.000 We live in the Hollywood Hills, and sometimes it gets dry.
02:18:57.000 Rats.
02:18:57.000 It's crazy.
02:18:58.000 It's one of those things that...
02:18:59.000 I grew up in New Jersey, and you would imagine that, according to every joke you've ever heard, that's where I would have encountered a rat.
02:19:06.000 Never encountered a rat in my life until...
02:19:08.000 I lived in Los Angeles.
02:19:10.000 Really?
02:19:11.000 Yeah, I lived in the suburbs of Jersey.
02:19:13.000 There weren't a lot of rats.
02:19:14.000 And we were by the water, too.
02:19:15.000 Whoa.
02:19:16.000 So the rats, if there were rats, they lived in the rocks by the water and shit.
02:19:20.000 There were a lot more fish in those days, as opposed to lately.
02:19:25.000 But yeah, fuck, where was I going with that?
02:19:27.000 Rats.
02:19:28.000 So rat I didn't see until I got to Los Angeles.
02:19:31.000 They come out of the hills because it's dry and we got a pool and water tracks and shit like that.
02:19:36.000 And then you think like, oh my god, if I ever had a rat in my house I'd fucking go ape shit.
02:19:42.000 And then suddenly you're like, oh, we are a house that It gets rats in it.
02:19:47.000 And it's not like the stereotype that you always think of where it's like, we live like pigs and there's filth everywhere.
02:19:53.000 It's just like creatures looking for fucking food.
02:19:56.000 Yeah, that's the creepy thing.
02:19:58.000 It's like you'd be sitting in your office and you hear something in a wall.
02:20:01.000 And you realize, oh my god, and they got...
02:20:04.000 Once they get in, they get the inside of your house down to a system in science unless you plug all the holes.
02:20:09.000 And we've had to go through that thing where you plug all the holes.
02:20:11.000 And then the skittering stops.
02:20:12.000 You never hear it again.
02:20:13.000 Yeah, those motherfuckers.
02:20:14.000 They will camp out in your house.
02:20:15.000 And if it's a safe spot, they're like, this is where we live now.
02:20:18.000 They're making a little nest in there.
02:20:19.000 Especially if you have insulation in your attic.
02:20:21.000 They're like the nest in that stuff.
02:20:23.000 Oof.
02:20:25.000 It happens.
02:20:26.000 But you're right, man.
02:20:26.000 People get, like, yeah.
02:20:28.000 That's an animal that you're allowed to kill.
02:20:29.000 So, like, elephant?
02:20:30.000 No.
02:20:31.000 Rat?
02:20:32.000 Yes.
02:20:32.000 You know?
02:20:33.000 Like, tiger?
02:20:34.000 No.
02:20:36.000 Mouse, yes.
02:20:38.000 We have rules.
02:20:40.000 It's true.
02:20:41.000 Yeah, there's always going to be a guideline there.
02:20:42.000 I found a mouse the other day, and I have one of those little pails with a mop for barbecuing.
02:20:50.000 And the mop thing was sitting there, and I saw this little motherfucker run up the top and go into the bucket.
02:20:55.000 I was like, God damn it, I got a mouse in that thing.
02:20:58.000 Fuck.
02:20:59.000 I'm like, that's gross.
02:21:00.000 He's going to shit all over that little brush.
02:21:02.000 So I took him over to the, I picked up the bucket, I took him over to the fence and just emptied him out on the other side.
02:21:07.000 And he fell and he just hit the ground and just stand there like, what the fuck?
02:21:11.000 I just fell out of the sky and he just slowly started walking off.
02:21:16.000 And like, I don't think he knew what the fuck happened.
02:21:17.000 Right.
02:21:18.000 But immediately I thought, damn, I should have fed him to my chickens.
02:21:21.000 What do you mean?
02:21:22.000 A chicken would eat a mouse?
02:21:25.000 Dude, would they eat a mouse?
02:21:26.000 They go after them.
02:21:28.000 Like raptors.
02:21:29.000 Like raptors in Jurassic Park, like what you would imagine.
02:21:32.000 Chickens like to eat mice?
02:21:34.000 Dude, chickens are straight up dinosaurs.
02:21:38.000 If you remember that scene in Jurassic Park, what is that?
02:21:42.000 A chicken with a mouse?
02:21:43.000 Yeah.
02:21:44.000 Pull it back so we can see it.
02:21:46.000 They'll fuck a mouse up, dude.
02:21:47.000 And they fight over them.
02:21:48.000 They all know.
02:21:49.000 And so they run after each other.
02:21:51.000 They stole it from the fucking cat.
02:21:53.000 Look at that cat.
02:21:54.000 Cat's like, bitch, that was mine.
02:21:57.000 That was mine.
02:21:58.000 What the fuck?
02:21:58.000 And it's going to eat that mouse?
02:21:59.000 Dude, I've seen chickens eat mice.
02:22:01.000 My chickens.
02:22:02.000 I've seen them eat one that I fed them.
02:22:04.000 This fucking chicken don't want to share, man.
02:22:06.000 Oh, they don't want to stare.
02:22:07.000 They fight.
02:22:08.000 They peck at each other.
02:22:09.000 They fucking bite off each other's skin trying to get out the mouse.
02:22:13.000 They steal little pieces from each other.
02:22:15.000 This guy got a little piece.
02:22:15.000 Yeah, he got a little piece.
02:22:17.000 Remember that scene in Jurassic Park?
02:22:19.000 I just saw a video of a snake.
02:22:22.000 No, a bunny.
02:22:23.000 Mother bunny.
02:22:25.000 Fighting a snake?
02:22:26.000 This video starts with this snake over a little patch of baby bunnies.
02:22:30.000 And out of nowhere, this fucking mother rabbit smokes in, dude.
02:22:34.000 And you've never seen anything fight like this in your life.
02:22:38.000 Maybe you have.
02:22:38.000 You go to the UFC shit.
02:22:40.000 So the mother rabbit went after the snake?
02:22:42.000 And wouldn't stop, bitch.
02:22:44.000 It wasn't like, I'm gonna get the snake away from my baby.
02:22:46.000 The snake fucked off.
02:22:46.000 It's like, I get it, I get it.
02:22:47.000 And the rabbit wanted revenge.
02:22:49.000 The rabbit was like, fuck you.
02:22:51.000 And kept going.
02:22:53.000 Like, it was something I'd never seen before.
02:22:55.000 Generally...
02:22:55.000 You know, unless you're a bear, right?
02:22:57.000 You defend, get the thing away from you, and then you go take care of your fucking young.
02:23:00.000 This rabbit chased it to the...
02:23:02.000 Here it is, bitch.
02:23:03.000 Watch this shit.
02:23:03.000 This is crazy.
02:23:04.000 So I'm sitting there going, ew, it ate the bunny already.
02:23:06.000 I don't know if it did anything, but it's just right now on top of all...
02:23:09.000 Is that squeezing the bunny?
02:23:10.000 Look at this, bang!
02:23:11.000 Oh, wow.
02:23:11.000 So it's the babies in there.
02:23:13.000 Oh, it killed the babies, man.
02:23:14.000 It looks like it killed one, right?
02:23:15.000 That one's pretty quiet.
02:23:17.000 It killed a couple of them.
02:23:18.000 So watch her go fucking ape shit, dude.
02:23:22.000 It just smothered her fucking babies, man.
02:23:24.000 Imagine her coming back and seeing that.
02:23:26.000 I know.
02:23:26.000 And this is why this happened.
02:23:27.000 Oh, wow, this is crazy.
02:23:28.000 Dude, it goes on for at least a minute and a half.
02:23:31.000 She's just biting the shit out of the snake.
02:23:31.000 Even when the snake gets away.
02:23:33.000 Did you know that a rabbit could do this shit?
02:23:35.000 No.
02:23:36.000 Look at that.
02:23:36.000 Look at how many times, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, with those kicks.
02:23:39.000 Biting it and kicking it at the same time.
02:23:41.000 She's like, I fucking hate you.
02:23:42.000 Look at that.
02:23:43.000 She's tore up its body.
02:23:44.000 Its body's got all these holes in it now.
02:23:46.000 Wow.
02:23:47.000 But not done.
02:23:48.000 Watch.
02:23:50.000 Wait till it gets to the wall and there's a fucking 360. Watch this shit.
02:23:55.000 Oh, whoa.
02:23:56.000 It's trying to kill it.
02:23:58.000 Yes.
02:23:58.000 It's going after it and pulling it down.
02:24:00.000 Yes, it doesn't want it to get away.
02:24:01.000 It wants to kill it.
02:24:02.000 Revenge, dude.
02:24:03.000 Like, that's...
02:24:04.000 Whoa.
02:24:05.000 Look at that shit!
02:24:05.000 You see it flip?
02:24:06.000 Because it almost bit her.
02:24:09.000 Whoa.
02:24:09.000 Not done.
02:24:10.000 That's not even a poisonous snake.
02:24:11.000 Rabbit's not done.
02:24:13.000 Wow, that is amazing, man.
02:24:15.000 What part of the world is this?
02:24:17.000 Where is it?
02:24:19.000 Because you hear kids talking.
02:24:21.000 It's definitely got an accent.
02:24:27.000 You hear kids talk, they have an accent?
02:24:29.000 Yeah, you hear the kids going, do it, Bonnie, and stuff like that.
02:24:33.000 Oh, like England or some shit?
02:24:34.000 Not quite England, but like definitely Europe.
02:24:37.000 But look, even on the rocks, this motherfucker is not done.
02:24:40.000 It's like, from hell's heart, I stab at thee.
02:24:43.000 She doesn't say, it says save babies.
02:24:45.000 She didn't save them.
02:24:47.000 That fucking thing killed a couple of them.
02:24:49.000 She might have saved one.
02:24:50.000 Maybe click on it and see if somewhere there's an explanation or something like that.
02:24:54.000 Or maybe that's what they told the kids.
02:24:55.000 Maybe she saved the babies, but I didn't see any movement there.
02:24:59.000 To me, that was the story of a mother coming home, seeing her kids dead, and was like, I'm going to fucking kill you.
02:25:03.000 And that's a very human story.
02:25:05.000 You don't really think about that in the animal kingdom, but like...
02:25:07.000 That's very human.
02:25:09.000 There it is.
02:25:10.000 I'm just glad.
02:25:10.000 Whether it's revenge or whether she just knew that if that thing was alive, it presented a threat to the other baby and she had to kill it.
02:25:17.000 Because if she let it go, eventually she would have to leave to come back to get food and the baby would be gone.
02:25:21.000 It would find out where it was.
02:25:23.000 Maybe she knew that it would know where it is.
02:25:24.000 So you're in the middle of like the worst moment of your fucking life.
02:25:26.000 I've just lost two kids.
02:25:28.000 And you're like, I still have to fucking kill this thing to death.
02:25:31.000 Otherwise, it'll come back and take my other baby, maybe me in the night.
02:25:35.000 And so poorly equipped for battle to the death.
02:25:39.000 All fluffy and shit with nothing but buck teeth.
02:25:42.000 But look what happens.
02:25:43.000 Holy shit, man.
02:25:44.000 Unleashed.
02:25:45.000 Just grabbing and kicking, scratching.
02:25:49.000 Apparently until you're just goring that fucking thing.
02:25:52.000 And that snake was a pretty nasty customer, but he was still like, I'm done.
02:25:55.000 I'm fucking done.
02:25:56.000 Yeah.
02:25:58.000 Serpents and snakes and lizards and all those unfeeling cold things, you know, that existed before time.
02:26:07.000 Chickens are in that group, bro.
02:26:09.000 Really?
02:26:09.000 Yeah, they're in that group.
02:26:11.000 You don't realize it until you see them tear a mouse apart.
02:26:14.000 Primordial?
02:26:15.000 They're like raptors.
02:26:16.000 They're Jurassic Park raptors.
02:26:18.000 They're just little.
02:26:19.000 You see them in the kitchen, open doors and shit?
02:26:21.000 Well, they're not that smart, but they're smart enough to like, if I have rocks around my house, if I pick up a rock, the chickens will go towards it because they know there's bugs under it.
02:26:29.000 Oh, really?
02:26:29.000 They figure that out.
02:26:30.000 Yeah, but it's not about being smart.
02:26:32.000 It's about that lizard brain.
02:26:35.000 Like, they mostly are omnivores.
02:26:38.000 They mostly eat grain because most of them are being kept by people.
02:26:41.000 Right.
02:26:41.000 And that's the best way for you to feed them.
02:26:43.000 But when you let them loose, they eat every fucking thing that moves.
02:26:46.000 Really?
02:26:46.000 Everything.
02:26:47.000 Every bug, dead.
02:26:49.000 They eat snails, dead.
02:26:52.000 Anything.
02:26:52.000 Whatever's on the ground, dead.
02:26:53.000 They caught a mouse.
02:26:55.000 They'll fight to the death of that mouse.
02:26:56.000 They chase each other, claw it out of each other's mouths.
02:26:59.000 They're little eating machines.
02:27:00.000 Would they eat chicken?
02:27:01.000 Oh yeah, they'd eat each other.
02:27:03.000 For sure, they'd peck holes in each other.
02:27:05.000 But I mean, is that just pecking holes?
02:27:06.000 If you fed them chicken, they'd eat the shit out of it.
02:27:09.000 Really?
02:27:09.000 If you cooked some chicken, or made raw chicken and put it out there, they'd eat the fuck out of it.
02:27:14.000 They wouldn't even think twice.
02:27:15.000 You'd be like, it's you!
02:27:16.000 It's fucking you!
02:27:17.000 They'd be like, bah!
02:27:18.000 Bah!
02:27:19.000 Ah, ah, ah!
02:27:21.000 Then they go open a kitchen door.
02:27:23.000 They're not smart.
02:27:24.000 How many you got now?
02:27:26.000 22?
02:27:27.000 Does it irritate you to watch Jurassic Park where you're like, where the fucking feathers, bro?
02:27:31.000 We all know these things have feathers.
02:27:32.000 Well, now.
02:27:33.000 Now I think they should have feathers.
02:27:34.000 But they did make Jurassic World just recently.
02:27:36.000 Yeah.
02:27:37.000 Did they have feathers?
02:27:37.000 No.
02:27:38.000 No feathers.
02:27:38.000 No.
02:27:39.000 Well, it's probably too hard.
02:27:40.000 Like CGI-wise, because you can't use just one big texture.
02:27:43.000 That's going to be the next big cash grab.
02:27:45.000 Like when they reboot the franchise, it's going to be like, we finally got feathers on.
02:27:49.000 Now it's fucking historically accurate.
02:27:52.000 Remember when we were kids?
02:27:53.000 Columbus discovered America and dinosaurs were green.
02:27:56.000 Yeah.
02:27:57.000 The good old days.
02:27:58.000 Or the days.
02:28:00.000 The days.
02:28:00.000 Now they're off.
02:28:01.000 There's a museum of Montana.
02:28:03.000 I never understood the dinosaur thing, I'll be honest with you.
02:28:06.000 Understood it?
02:28:06.000 In what way?
02:28:07.000 In as much as you find a bunch of bones, and then you extrapolate what it looked like.
02:28:12.000 Well, you mean it depends on the extent of what you're finding.
02:28:16.000 There has to be...
02:28:18.000 Like some sort of consensus on what actually is a dinosaur, like how much of this belongs to the same animal, especially because you're dealing with fossilized remains.
02:28:27.000 And the problem with fossilized remains are it's not really the bone anymore.
02:28:30.000 It's like the bone disappears, it's replaced by minerals, and it makes this rock.
02:28:34.000 Right, so you can't really do DNA tests on it for the most part, so you gotta find enough of them laid out in the same way where you agree that this was this animal.
02:28:43.000 You know, and they've changed that over the, you know, time from the beginning of the first discoveries of dinosaurs to today.
02:28:49.000 But now they've been doing it for so long, they have a pretty good idea.
02:28:52.000 And then every now and then they find a new one, and they go, well, we'll check out this motherfucker.
02:28:55.000 What is he?
02:28:55.000 But again, like, I'll grant you, hey, This is what its bones would look like if we put it together.
02:29:00.000 But how do they get to, like, its skin was like this?
02:29:03.000 They don't.
02:29:03.000 They don't.
02:29:04.000 So this is all bullshit.
02:29:05.000 All speculation.
02:29:06.000 Speculation for years.
02:29:08.000 And now at least they're going, we think it's got feathers.
02:29:10.000 I'm pretty sure it's got feathers.
02:29:11.000 One guy had a really cool idea about T-Rex.
02:29:15.000 That T-Rex would have, like, vulture colors.
02:29:17.000 That T-Rex...
02:29:18.000 Because it was...
02:29:18.000 They think that T-Rex...
02:29:21.000 Some people think that he was a predator, and other people think that he was a scavenger.
02:29:25.000 And one of the reasons why they think that he was a scavenger is they look at it the way his body's built.
02:29:30.000 They're like, he couldn't possibly run very fast.
02:29:32.000 He couldn't really possibly chase things down.
02:29:34.000 He's really super awkward.
02:29:36.000 But then there's other people that point to the idea that the atmosphere itself was very different back then, and it might have been much richer and thicker, and it actually might have been able to support an animal like that easier.
02:29:49.000 In terms of his size?
02:29:50.000 In terms of his size, in terms of the amount of life on the planet itself.
02:29:54.000 The animal was so large and consumed so much.
02:29:57.000 But everything was so large back then.
02:29:59.000 And everything consumed so much back then.
02:30:01.000 There were so many examples of these mega animals, right?
02:30:04.000 Like Brontosaurus and fucking Allosaurus and T-Rex and these crazy, gigantic fucking things roaming the Earth.
02:30:12.000 The speculation is that there was more richness of life.
02:30:16.000 There was more life.
02:30:17.000 And so the animals that consumed life, whether it's in the form of plants, like a brontosaurus, or in meat, like a T-Rex, they just got bigger and bigger and bigger because there was so much to consume.
02:30:27.000 There was no need to hold back their size.
02:30:31.000 Whereas if you're a chimp or if you're a human, there's only so much you can eat.
02:30:34.000 The more you eat, we've shown, The more people eat and the more prosperous their nation, the larger the people start to get, right?
02:30:41.000 And so I think that it's entirely possible that that's the case with the world back then, that the whole world was like, it just supported bigger things.
02:30:49.000 It was just more life, more green life, more animals for T-Rex to eat, and it was just this big fucking thick oxygenated soup of life.
02:30:58.000 That...
02:31:00.000 Nobody was lizard looking.
02:31:02.000 There were more bird looking.
02:31:04.000 Probably bird and lizard because today we have crocodiles, we have Komodo dragons, and we have chickens, and we have eagles.
02:31:12.000 An eagle is fucking clearly a lot like a dinosaur, right?
02:31:16.000 This crazy ass thing with swords on its fingers and death in its eyes and it swoops down and it's got the strength to catch a fucking fish in the water and pull it out.
02:31:27.000 And fly with it.
02:31:28.000 They can catch goats and pull them off the side of cliffs and watch them fall and smash on the rocks below.
02:31:34.000 They do it as a strategy.
02:31:35.000 In order to eat it.
02:31:37.000 It's like, we'll knock it down.
02:31:38.000 Have you seen that?
02:31:39.000 I've heard.
02:31:39.000 I've never seen it.
02:31:40.000 You've never seen those videos?
02:31:41.000 There's videos.
02:31:42.000 They swoop down, they catch a mountain goat, they pull them off the side of the cliff, and then they let them go.
02:31:48.000 And they smash on the rocks down below.
02:31:50.000 Golden eagles in particular, because they're some of the largest eagles.
02:31:54.000 Yeah, giant fucking seven-foot wingspan flying demons.
02:31:59.000 They snatch them and throw them.
02:32:01.000 They're doing it just because that's the...
02:32:02.000 Yeah, that's how they get meat.
02:32:04.000 Watch this shit.
02:32:05.000 This is crazy.
02:32:06.000 This is a golden eagle.
02:32:07.000 Look at the eyes in that thing, that evil fucking cunt.
02:32:10.000 That looks very much like a dinosaur.
02:32:13.000 Oh, it is, man.
02:32:13.000 That's depicted in the movie.
02:32:14.000 So sweat this.
02:32:15.000 He swoops down, and they know what's coming, too.
02:32:17.000 They boogie.
02:32:18.000 They're like, fuck this...
02:32:20.000 He swoops down.
02:32:22.000 God, the shitty resolution.
02:32:23.000 This must drive you nuts as a filmmaker.
02:32:25.000 I'm fine.
02:32:25.000 He swoops down.
02:32:26.000 Look at him.
02:32:27.000 He drops down.
02:32:28.000 Boom!
02:32:28.000 He gets one and he takes it.
02:32:32.000 Watch this.
02:32:34.000 Snatch.
02:32:36.000 Up, up and away in my beautiful, my beautiful balloon.
02:32:42.000 Oh my God, this poor thing's like, no!
02:32:45.000 Boom!
02:32:46.000 Oh my God.
02:32:47.000 Look at that.
02:32:48.000 He literally follows it to the rocks to make sure it lands on its head.
02:32:52.000 And then boom!
02:32:54.000 All the way to the ground.
02:32:55.000 So this is a strategy.
02:32:56.000 This is a strategy for eating these goats.
02:32:59.000 So he'll go down there and now easy pickings.
02:33:02.000 Easy pickings means he earned it.
02:33:05.000 He caught a goat.
02:33:06.000 Nature is red in tooth and claw.
02:33:08.000 Look at this, too.
02:33:09.000 He carries it right to the rocks and then lets it go.
02:33:11.000 Watch this.
02:33:12.000 Let's it go right here.
02:33:15.000 Badoja.
02:33:17.000 Wow, he flew so far with that one.
02:33:20.000 Look how far he flew.
02:33:21.000 That's incredible.
02:33:22.000 With a goat.
02:33:24.000 Maybe if he got a good hold of it, he doesn't have to throw it.
02:33:27.000 I couldn't carry a goat that far.
02:33:30.000 Look at this thing.
02:33:31.000 This guy's flying with him.
02:33:32.000 What a majestic animal, man.
02:33:34.000 Do you think there's any part of the goat that's like, maybe I'll survive this?
02:33:39.000 What a story I'll have to tell.
02:33:41.000 It's amazing, man.
02:33:43.000 Amazing fucking life form.
02:33:47.000 Flying monster.
02:33:49.000 Predator.
02:33:49.000 Now, that's not an American eagle.
02:33:51.000 That's a what?
02:33:52.000 That's a golden eagle.
02:33:53.000 I think the largest eagles are these Venezuelan eagles called harpy eagles.
02:33:58.000 And those motherfuckers kill monkeys.
02:34:01.000 Really?
02:34:01.000 Yeah.
02:34:02.000 Was that a mountain goat?
02:34:05.000 That was a mountain goat.
02:34:06.000 Because it looked bigger than a mountain goat.
02:34:07.000 It was a mountain goat.
02:34:08.000 It's pretty big.
02:34:09.000 I'm sure they do it to deer, too, though.
02:34:10.000 If you can kill that, fucking killing a chimp doesn't seem that difficult.
02:34:12.000 They kill wolves.
02:34:14.000 So they just swoop down?
02:34:15.000 In Mongolia, the Mongolians have trained eagles, golden eagles, to attack wolves and kill them.
02:34:22.000 And then they use their fur.
02:34:25.000 There's video of that, too.
02:34:26.000 Can we?
02:34:27.000 Oh, yeah.
02:34:28.000 For sure.
02:34:28.000 Makes you feel lazy.
02:34:29.000 Makes you feel like...
02:34:30.000 It should.
02:34:31.000 We should go kill something.
02:34:32.000 No.
02:34:34.000 It didn't make me feel bad, Joe.
02:34:37.000 Sweat this.
02:34:38.000 He swoops in.
02:34:39.000 His eagle swoops in, and the wolf knows exactly what the fuck is going on.
02:34:43.000 Oh, he's like, fuck!
02:34:44.000 Look at that guy's face.
02:34:45.000 That guy is a direct descendant of Genghis Khan.
02:34:49.000 I mean, they have the traditional Mongol wear on, and these eagles swoop down.
02:34:55.000 They see the wolf.
02:34:56.000 They know exactly what to do.
02:34:58.000 Look, he's got the little things hanging in front of him.
02:35:00.000 This guy's like, please, no.
02:35:02.000 Yeah, the wolf's like, fuck this.
02:35:04.000 You can't really defend against that.
02:35:05.000 I would have never thought that eagles were so fearsome to wolves.
02:35:10.000 I thought wolves would fucking eagle up.
02:35:12.000 Yeah, like turn around and bite its head off at the right time.
02:35:15.000 I'd be like, a wolf?
02:35:16.000 Dude, wolves are ferocious.
02:35:18.000 But this wolf is way bigger than the eagle, too.
02:35:20.000 Like, if you look at the actual body size of the eagle, I mean, it's like the wolf's like three or four times bigger than him.
02:35:25.000 See how small he is?
02:35:26.000 Dang!
02:35:26.000 Look, he just grabs the back of his fucking neck and pierces him with his claws.
02:35:32.000 It's amazing.
02:35:33.000 Is that a second bird?
02:35:34.000 Yeah, a second bird comes in.
02:35:35.000 Then they double team this poor dog?
02:35:36.000 Double jack him.
02:35:37.000 But the first one's already handled him.
02:35:38.000 Look, he just grabs a hold of his head with those knives and just sticks those knives in his neck.
02:35:45.000 Are they eating that wolf there now?
02:35:46.000 Yes!
02:35:46.000 Yes, they're eating the fucking wolf.
02:35:49.000 You would have never thought.
02:35:50.000 I would have said, dude, that wolf is going to fuck them up.
02:35:51.000 Why didn't they ever show this shit in Mulan?
02:35:53.000 This looks amazing.
02:35:55.000 So he gets his eagle friends.
02:35:57.000 That dog's definitely dead, right?
02:35:59.000 Thanks, boys.
02:35:59.000 Oh, yeah.
02:36:00.000 The wolf's dead.
02:36:01.000 Dead as fuck.
02:36:01.000 Look, another one's coming in.
02:36:03.000 Oh, look at that.
02:36:04.000 He lands right on his arm.
02:36:05.000 This is amazing.
02:36:06.000 Why don't they try to eat the man?
02:36:08.000 I don't know.
02:36:10.000 That's a good question.
02:36:11.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:36:11.000 Like, how long before they're like, you know, we could keep attacking these wolves or we could turn and hit the dude in the hat.
02:36:16.000 Well, maybe if the dude keeps bringing him wolves, they're like, look, guys, he seems pretty cool.
02:36:20.000 Yeah, but if the bird figures out, like, he didn't bring me a fucking wolf.
02:36:23.000 There are wolves out there for the taking just like there are humans.
02:36:26.000 I could be picking this fool off.
02:36:27.000 I could turn around and eat his fucking eyes out.
02:36:28.000 That's a good point.
02:36:30.000 Damn, you're making a lot of sense today.
02:36:37.000 What were we going to look up before we were going to look up that?
02:36:40.000 There was something else.
02:36:42.000 Oh, the harpy eagle that swoops down and kills monkeys.
02:36:45.000 That's one of the reasons why we look up all the time, apparently.
02:36:48.000 People look up.
02:36:49.000 They have a consistent instinct to look up like you're in the forest or something like that.
02:36:54.000 You look up.
02:36:54.000 One of the main reasons is they think that there's an ancient instinct that we have to protect ourselves from flying raptors.
02:37:01.000 Because they found, you know, old hominids, like not necessarily humans, but in the human tree that had predation marks from eagles on the inside of their skulls.
02:37:12.000 So it came from that?
02:37:15.000 Yeah, from eagles.
02:37:16.000 From eagles swooping down and, you know, especially larger eagles.
02:37:20.000 Yeah, I look up a lot of shit.
02:37:21.000 No, no, not look up shit.
02:37:22.000 Do you look up for danger?
02:37:25.000 Like, yeah, bro, I'll use Google.
02:37:26.000 You're like, come on, motherfucker, I'll Google everything.
02:37:29.000 I need references.
02:37:30.000 No, I don't, but apparently it's an instinct.
02:37:32.000 I mean, I'm not mostly in the woods, like looking around in the forest, but apparently when you go to the forest, there's an instinct to look up.
02:37:38.000 Also, you can be connected to cats, too, potentially.
02:37:41.000 But most of the time, big cats are not hiding in the trees when they come down and get you, but they can be.
02:37:46.000 I'm looking at fucking cats.
02:37:47.000 I'm worried about ticks.
02:37:48.000 I'm looking up because I'm like, I don't want any ticks in my hair, man.
02:37:51.000 Somebody has to use a Bic later.
02:37:52.000 Fucking Lyme disease, man.
02:37:54.000 Yeah.
02:37:54.000 That's a dark and silent killer.
02:37:56.000 Yeah.
02:37:56.000 And it was something we've seen develop in our lifetime.
02:38:00.000 Am I right about that?
02:38:01.000 It didn't exist when I was a kid.
02:38:02.000 And then one day somebody was like, if you get bit by a deer tick, you'll be fucked up for a long time.
02:38:06.000 It's like mono times a thousand.
02:38:08.000 Yeah.
02:38:08.000 I know a guy who got Lyme disease, misdiagnosed.
02:38:11.000 Steven Kotler, a guest in the podcast really recently, misdiagnosed for about a year, wound up spending three years in the hospital because of it.
02:38:21.000 Three years in the hospital because of Lyme disease wrecked his immune system.
02:38:25.000 Because the misdiagnosis of over a year and all these different doctors told him it wasn't that, that's not what it is, you might be going crazy.
02:38:33.000 One doctor told him he had AIDS. Are you fucking shitting me?
02:38:36.000 Yes, the doctor told me, you have AIDS. He's like, what?
02:38:38.000 It was during the time where a lot of people had AIDS, and he was saying, no, I think it's Lyme disease.
02:38:45.000 And the doctor was like, no, you have AIDS. I'm like, holy shit.
02:38:48.000 Because your immune system is devastated when you have Lyme disease.
02:38:51.000 Can you sue a doctor like that?
02:38:54.000 Sue the fuck out of everybody.
02:38:55.000 Jesus.
02:38:56.000 He didn't tell us the numbers, but I believe he got...
02:39:02.000 As Damon Wayans would say it.
02:39:03.000 He had to go through a lot to get there, though.
02:39:05.000 There's easier ways.
02:39:06.000 I'm sure he wouldn't have chosen it.
02:39:08.000 Oh, he didn't want it.
02:39:08.000 But I think he learned a lot about himself, like overcoming this incredible health crisis.
02:39:12.000 But I've had many people that I'm friends with get Lyme disease.
02:39:15.000 I know at least 10 people.
02:39:17.000 But you go out in the woods a lot and hunt.
02:39:19.000 Yeah.
02:39:20.000 And that's where they're all contracting it?
02:39:22.000 I know several people who've gotten it from that, for sure.
02:39:24.000 Okay.
02:39:24.000 Yeah, but I know other people that have gotten it just from upstate New York.
02:39:29.000 You know, you're just like going fishing or something like that.
02:39:31.000 I mean, it doesn't have to be upstate New York.
02:39:33.000 It could be North Carolina.
02:39:34.000 It could be, you know...
02:39:35.000 All outdoors, though, right?
02:39:36.000 Almost all outdoors.
02:39:37.000 Almost all ticks.
02:39:38.000 Ever happen here in California?
02:39:40.000 Yes, yes.
02:39:41.000 It's not as prevalent, but it has happened here in California.
02:39:44.000 Picks are fucking bad news, man.
02:39:46.000 They're carriers, and that disease is insidious, and it's a tricky one, too, because it's oftentimes misdiagnosed, or especially what he was talking about, Kotler was saying that the doctors in California weren't really hip to it, because it's not common, but AIDS was more common,
02:40:03.000 so that's one of the reasons why this guy...
02:40:04.000 Well, it was also...
02:40:08.000 Yeah.
02:40:24.000 Yeah, losing that much time to something where you're like, what bit me?
02:40:29.000 Again, that's where human arrogance or ego would come in.
02:40:32.000 I'm like, a fucking bug put its dirty spit in me and now I'm going to be in a hospital three fucking years?
02:40:38.000 This isn't fucking fair!
02:40:39.000 And then you remember there are guys out and...
02:40:43.000 Tibet, chopping people up for vultures.
02:40:45.000 Chopping people up so the vultures can eat them and shit.
02:40:47.000 You're making movies of smoking weed.
02:40:48.000 Relax.
02:40:49.000 I'm doing fine in life.
02:40:51.000 Everything seems pretty awesome.
02:40:53.000 I'm not sweating the ticks anymore.
02:40:54.000 You're not sweating shit.
02:40:55.000 You're doing fantastic.
02:40:57.000 I came back from recently.
02:40:59.000 I was in Vancouver.
02:41:01.000 I have been in the woods lately.
02:41:03.000 I directed two episodes of The Flash, one last season and one this season, which was fucking fun.
02:41:09.000 Is that on Netflix?
02:41:11.000 Yeah, I think so, the old episodes, but it's a CW show.
02:41:14.000 I need to watch that show.
02:41:15.000 It's dope.
02:41:16.000 If you like DC Comics, oh my god, it's fantastic.
02:41:18.000 I love comic book movies.
02:41:19.000 I'm more into them now as I get older than I was when I was younger.
02:41:24.000 It's a show, you know, its center is about a boy who runs very fast to solve all his problems, but really it's just soap operas for boys.
02:41:32.000 Or, again, girls.
02:41:33.000 I'm not even going to limit it.
02:41:34.000 It's just, they're very soap operatic.
02:41:36.000 You know, it's like very episodic and they throw in an adventure each week, but it's more about the relationship between the characters and stuff.
02:41:43.000 That's kind of what you keep coming back for.
02:41:44.000 It's a good balance of heart, humor, and heroics.
02:41:47.000 Like, you know, they got the family stuff or friendship stuff.
02:41:50.000 Like, yeah, it's important to be friends.
02:41:52.000 Then they got some laughs, and then the heroics is like, holy shit, look at them run fast.
02:41:55.000 Holy shit, look at her fly.
02:41:56.000 I did an episode of Supergirl as well.
02:41:59.000 So I was in Vancouver like three times in the span of the last year.
02:42:04.000 And we were, at one point, out in the woods.
02:42:06.000 And I remember being kind of like, can I get some...
02:42:13.000 I was like, no, for ticks and stuff like that.
02:42:16.000 Like, oh, that's not a real big problem here.
02:42:17.000 I don't know if it is up in the Pacific Northwest.
02:42:20.000 I don't think it's a real big problem in the Pacific Northwest.
02:42:23.000 I think it's more of an East Coast problem.
02:42:26.000 Well, they named it after Lime, Connecticut.
02:42:29.000 That's where it originated.
02:42:31.000 That's where the original diagnosis of it was.
02:42:34.000 How long it existed before that is anybody's guess.
02:42:36.000 I don't know.
02:42:37.000 But I do know it's also connected to other neurological disorders like Morgellons.
02:42:42.000 Morgellons is a weird one where people think they have strands of fibers growing out of their body and oftentimes they have these crazy delusions.
02:42:50.000 And what Kotler was saying was that it has a neurological effect.
02:42:54.000 He didn't have like Morgellons disease.
02:42:57.000 But one of the doctors that I interviewed about Morgellons was telling me that he believes it's connected to Lyme disease because Lyme disease has some sort of neurotoxicity effect.
02:43:07.000 It has some sort of an effect where it distorts reality.
02:43:10.000 And Kotler had a real problem.
02:43:12.000 Remember he was talking about he couldn't figure out whether a green light meant go?
02:43:16.000 Or he didn't understand how to drive anymore.
02:43:18.000 Out of nowhere all of a sudden.
02:43:21.000 And he's realizing, wow, something's really wrong.
02:43:24.000 And this neurotoxicity effect, this whatever it was doing to pollute his brain's ability to function correctly, The more gelance people think, it's also what makes you claw at your skin and think there's fibers in there and you start seeing shit.
02:43:38.000 And then they get fibers from their clothes stuck to their scabs and they think that's growing out of their body.
02:43:44.000 But it's more likely just an offshoot of Lyme.
02:43:48.000 Because apparently when you get Lyme, you're not getting one bacteria.
02:43:52.000 It's one of the reasons why the results that people have when they get bitten vary so widely.
02:43:59.000 It's like there's a gang of different ones.
02:44:01.000 Right.
02:44:01.000 And there's a bunch of different also neighboring poisons and toxins that this tick could have in its body.
02:44:10.000 It might just not be this simple.
02:44:12.000 Lyme disease.
02:44:13.000 Oh, here's that one bacteria.
02:44:14.000 The tick has it.
02:44:15.000 No, the tick might have a host of different pathogens that affect you as Lyme disease.
02:44:21.000 This is this guy who has it explaining it to me.
02:44:24.000 And I'm shitting my fucking pants because I know so many people who have gotten this.
02:44:28.000 And there's no one, like, hey, take this antibiotic and knocks it out.
02:44:31.000 No, no, no, no.
02:44:32.000 And it varies widely how your body reacts to it, when you get it.
02:44:36.000 My friend's son, my friend Steven Rinella, his son got it.
02:44:39.000 The doctor misdiagnosed him.
02:44:41.000 The kid wound up getting Bell's palsy where his face started going numb.
02:44:44.000 In childhood?
02:44:44.000 Yes, yes, yes.
02:44:46.000 That happened to my dad when he was in his like...
02:44:48.000 50s.
02:44:48.000 Well, most likely the young body could probably bounce back from it better than the old body, but for a lot of people, like my friend Cody has it, he's like 26, I think, and he says his fucking joints hurt all the time, and that it's from having Lyme.
02:45:03.000 Like from that point on, like his joints are always achy.
02:45:06.000 I've not been bit by a tick, and I don't have Lyme disease, but lately I've noticed I'm 46 now, so I have noticed aging in a way that I haven't before.
02:45:16.000 My knee lately.
02:45:17.000 Doing nothing.
02:45:18.000 I'm not an active guy at all.
02:45:19.000 Has been being fucking weird.
02:45:21.000 And somebody said it's from descending a hill.
02:45:23.000 I walk every day.
02:45:25.000 Walk the dogs like a mile and a half up a hill and back down.
02:45:27.000 That's like my exercise routine.
02:45:29.000 And down the hill, they said that's what's doing it to you.
02:45:31.000 They're like, how do you walk?
02:45:32.000 And I was like, I don't like this.
02:45:33.000 And they're like, you don't do heel-toe?
02:45:35.000 And I was like...
02:45:36.000 I don't know, don't I? And they're like, no, look.
02:45:38.000 And apparently I walk ball heel.
02:45:41.000 Well, ball heel up is the way to go.
02:45:43.000 Yes.
02:45:44.000 Ball heel down apparently not good.
02:45:45.000 But is it heel-toed down?
02:45:46.000 Apparently is what they're saying.
02:45:48.000 But I don't know anybody.
02:45:48.000 Unless you're thinking about walking heel-toe, I don't know if you necessarily fall into a heel-toe type pattern.
02:45:55.000 Well, the real issue is there's a big issue with shoes.
02:45:59.000 Like, the way we have constructed shoes, we've created a gate that's an unnatural, like, heel, toe, forward gate.
02:46:05.000 Like, people always used to walk on the ball of their foot because the ball of the foot acts like a shock absorber.
02:46:10.000 It allows you to slowly lower your heel down to the ground, which is why a lot of, like, those barefoot runners, they do so well.
02:46:18.000 Like, if you're running barefoot all the time, you're developing, like, these incredibly strong feet, and they're springing.
02:46:24.000 And they don't need, like, these big, thick cushions, but we, and I guess it was, like, the 1970s when Nike came out with a running shoe.
02:46:30.000 They developed that big, fat-ass heel, and then people started running on the heel.
02:46:35.000 They started bouncing on the heel instead of using the natural shock-absorbing motion You tell me a fucking shoe changed the way we walk as human beings?
02:46:43.000 It changed our running gait.
02:46:44.000 Wow.
02:46:44.000 Yeah.
02:46:45.000 Which would also, would it affect your walking gait as well?
02:46:47.000 Sure.
02:46:47.000 Yeah.
02:46:48.000 Sure.
02:46:48.000 Yeah.
02:46:49.000 So prior to the sneaker, what was that guy's name?
02:46:53.000 Phil Knight or something like that?
02:46:54.000 I don't know.
02:46:54.000 Who invented Nike?
02:46:55.000 Jamie, yours?
02:46:56.000 Is it Phil Knight?
02:46:57.000 Jamie goes, yeah, yeah, yeah.
02:46:58.000 He's excited.
02:46:58.000 He's a sneakerhead.
02:46:59.000 Phil Knight literally changed, was it?
02:47:01.000 He buys Yeezys.
02:47:02.000 What's that?
02:47:03.000 Exactly.
02:47:04.000 Thank you.
02:47:05.000 God bless you.
02:47:05.000 God bless you and your kind soul.
02:47:07.000 I heard an Yeezy in there.
02:47:08.000 I was like, maybe that's Kanye West.
02:47:10.000 Yeah, it's amazing that you don't know that.
02:47:11.000 Thank you.
02:47:12.000 See?
02:47:13.000 I try to keep my head firmly lodged up the ass of the 90s.
02:47:16.000 That's where shit was good for me.
02:47:17.000 He was like, you don't know what Yeezys are?
02:47:19.000 I'm like, you get away from me.
02:47:21.000 You're not poisoning me.
02:47:22.000 Always keep your finger on the pulse, Jason.
02:47:23.000 But meanwhile, people look at his sneakers, hey yo, fresh Yeezys.
02:47:26.000 And he's like, yeah.
02:47:28.000 Jamie gets all, and he looks over at me like, ah, bitch.
02:47:30.000 How many people have done that?
02:47:31.000 Like five or six Yeezys?
02:47:32.000 A lot.
02:47:32.000 A lot.
02:47:33.000 A lot.
02:47:34.000 No, I'm not saying it's me.
02:47:36.000 You a big sneakerhead?
02:47:37.000 Oh, he's a dork.
02:47:38.000 We had a pair of sneakers once.
02:47:39.000 We had a Smodcast pair of sneakers for the podcast.
02:47:41.000 He's a super sneaker dork.
02:47:43.000 Sneakers are awesome, man.
02:47:44.000 I like them, but I only like...
02:47:46.000 You've got to tell me, man, those Converse 2s fell apart on me quick.
02:47:51.000 Kind of shocked.
02:47:52.000 Converse 1s, virtually indestructible.
02:47:55.000 Converse 2s fell apart on me pretty fucking quick.
02:47:58.000 You tend to do a lot more active shit than the average bear, though, to be fair.
02:48:01.000 Yeah, but, like, these are the shit.
02:48:04.000 Converse Ones.
02:48:06.000 These are the shit.
02:48:07.000 Chuck Taylors, they're the shit.
02:48:09.000 They have no sole.
02:48:10.000 There's, like, the rubber sole, but there's no cushioning.
02:48:13.000 There's, like, very little, like, sponge.
02:48:15.000 You feel the ground.
02:48:17.000 Vans were like that as well.
02:48:18.000 You feel the ground.
02:48:19.000 Yeah, sort of.
02:48:20.000 Yeah, like those thin-soled shoes.
02:48:22.000 To me, it's like that's how you're supposed to walk.
02:48:25.000 You're not supposed to walk with this crazy cushion on the bottom.
02:48:28.000 Whenever I do the UFC, I wear dress shoes.
02:48:31.000 And dress shoes have a heel.
02:48:32.000 And if you stand in them with that heel for a while, it kind of makes your feet feel weird.
02:48:38.000 They don't feel good.
02:48:39.000 They want to get out of them.
02:48:40.000 If you're wearing Converse All-Stars, You get out of them.
02:48:44.000 It's not like your feet were hurting.
02:48:46.000 It's almost sick and skinny.
02:48:48.000 It's like wearing slippers.
02:48:49.000 They're so minimal.
02:48:50.000 They're the best sneaker, in my mind, for just wearing them, just walking around wearing them.
02:48:54.000 I'm not even getting paid by Converse, bro.
02:48:56.000 I'm just endorsing it out of love.
02:48:58.000 You're just advocating the same way you'd be like, look, we should all be nice to each other.
02:49:01.000 We should all get $12,000 a year.
02:49:03.000 We should all have a pair of these.
02:49:05.000 You can't pretend you're too fancy.
02:49:06.000 If you're wearing Converse All-Stars, you can't pretend you're like a super fancy Yeezy-wearing man.
02:49:12.000 He's a Yeezy-wearing man.
02:49:13.000 He might sell his.
02:49:14.000 He might sell them as they've been worn for a while.
02:49:17.000 There's a second-hand Yeezy market.
02:49:19.000 So somebody will buy a worn sneakers.
02:49:21.000 His eyebrows are up.
02:49:22.000 Look at him.
02:49:22.000 He's excited.
02:49:23.000 I've got some Simpsons vans from back in the day that I've had people offer for those as well.
02:49:30.000 You know who I bet would buy them?
02:49:31.000 That dude who didn't want to take the $40.
02:49:33.000 He'd buy them.
02:49:34.000 He'd jerk off with them on.
02:49:35.000 That's what running shoes looked like in 1920. Whoa!
02:49:37.000 Oh, that's crazy!
02:49:39.000 It's got a heel.
02:49:40.000 They have cleats on them.
02:49:41.000 But they're dress shoes.
02:49:42.000 That's amazing.
02:49:43.000 Did they have tracks or were they just running in like that dirt circle probably?
02:49:46.000 Dude, they had heels.
02:49:48.000 The Spencer shoe.
02:49:49.000 Possibly the first pair of specialized running shoes ever made.
02:49:54.000 Oh my God.
02:49:55.000 Old timey pictures, dude.
02:49:57.000 Dude, that's amazing though.
02:49:59.000 Look at those stupid things.
02:50:01.000 This is off the topic, but old timey picture triggered in me.
02:50:04.000 Have you ever heard of the Cottingly Fairies?
02:50:06.000 No.
02:50:07.000 So I guess maybe turn of the century or the beginning, like 1900 or something like that, there were these little girls in England that photographed themselves playing with fairies.
02:50:18.000 Whoa.
02:50:19.000 And the world was exposed to it.
02:50:27.000 This wasn't the only person, but...
02:50:30.000 What's his name?
02:50:31.000 Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.
02:50:32.000 There's the picture.
02:50:33.000 Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the writer of Sherlock Holmes...
02:50:38.000 Was a spiritualist?
02:50:39.000 And so he actually wrote an article defending that picture.
02:50:44.000 You go through all the pictures.
02:50:46.000 Those are the Cottingly Ferry pictures.
02:50:47.000 Hey, dude, I'm going to take a leak.
02:50:49.000 Go ahead.
02:50:49.000 I'm holding in some pee for quite a while now.
02:50:51.000 Go ahead, but take a peek at that.
02:50:51.000 This needs to be debunked.
02:50:53.000 Jamie, tell them about your sneakers.
02:50:56.000 I was going to say keep talking, but there was a thing that says Museum of Hoaxes.
02:51:00.000 I wonder what they talk about.
02:51:01.000 Oh, this is a fucking hoax.
02:51:02.000 This is a big-time hoax.
02:51:04.000 The kids...
02:51:06.000 Years later, admitted that they had kind of cut the picture.
02:51:11.000 They admitted something that if you look at these photos, you'll be like, that had to be admitted?
02:51:16.000 Like, to us, it's very clearly she cut pictures out.
02:51:21.000 Those are pictures.
02:51:22.000 Those are two-dimensional images of fairies and pretty traditional fairy imagery.
02:51:28.000 Years later, they revealed that they traced the images out of a popular book and put their own spins on them and then cut them out and took pictures with them.
02:51:38.000 But Arthur Conan Doyle, the guy that wrote fucking Sherlock Holmes, like, really defended this shit, going, no, there are fairies.
02:51:46.000 There is another world, and it's trying to break through.
02:51:49.000 And these little girls have been in contact with it.
02:51:53.000 You know, and he was ridiculed by over half the population because...
02:51:58.000 A lot of people looked at that picture and saw what we see, which is kids with little cutouts, pictures of fairies.
02:52:04.000 But there was a time where...
02:52:08.000 Almost half the world was like, oh no, that's real.
02:52:11.000 Yeah, that could be real.
02:52:13.000 The Cottingly fairies are pictures that these kids fucking took, Joe.
02:52:17.000 And clearly, just blow one up.
02:52:19.000 That shit's fake as fuck.
02:52:20.000 Exactly.
02:52:21.000 But there was a time, because you had somebody like Arthur Conan Doyle going, no, this is real, and spiritualism is a real thing, and there are other races and other beings, and fairies are real.
02:52:30.000 Out there in the world defending it and stuff.
02:52:32.000 And then finally, late in their lives, when they were nearly past...
02:52:37.000 They said, yeah, we cut them out of a book.
02:52:40.000 They admitted to something that you knew right away just by looking at the photo.
02:52:45.000 Like, oh, that's fake as shit.
02:52:46.000 But in the 20s or whatever, or back in the day?
02:52:49.000 Oh, yeah, man.
02:52:50.000 Oh, my God.
02:52:51.000 You could show somebody a picture, and they were like, that's fucking real.
02:52:54.000 Well, you can only imagine.
02:52:56.000 I mean...
02:52:57.000 How gullible people were before photos.
02:53:00.000 When you didn't know it was in the night.
02:53:02.000 That's bullshit.
02:53:02.000 But I still think of the Bigfoot video and I'm like, that shit's real.
02:53:05.000 Like when he walks past the camera and then he suddenly looks at the camera.
02:53:09.000 I saw a thought on this topic recently.
02:53:13.000 Five years from now, if Photoshop was erased from the internet's memory, how could you explain Photoshop pictures to somebody?
02:53:22.000 It's a good question.
02:53:23.000 If we live to be a few thousand years from now, if society goes down and then they rebuild computers a thousand years from now and they look at these old images but they don't have the capability then, yeah, totally possible.
02:53:35.000 They'll be like, there was somebody standing on top of one of the Twin Towers when a plane came at it on September 11th.
02:53:41.000 I remember seeing that picture and being like, holy fucking shit, how'd they find that camera?
02:53:44.000 For five seconds.
02:53:45.000 And then I was like, wait a second, dude.
02:53:47.000 We live in the age of Photoshop.
02:53:48.000 Do you know the guy that created Photoshop?
02:53:50.000 Created it with his brother?
02:53:52.000 Is the guy that created the story or came up with the story for this new Star Wars movie, Rogue One.
02:53:57.000 Wow.
02:53:57.000 Special effects wizard, right?
02:53:59.000 And so one day, you know, they work in the special effects biz.
02:54:02.000 Him and his brother are like, you know, this would be helpful, like, in a kind of home use setting.
02:54:08.000 You know, like, being able to take a photograph and manipulate it.
02:54:11.000 So in their spare time, dude.
02:54:14.000 Because they were working on motion pictures and shit.
02:54:17.000 Holy shit.
02:54:17.000 In their spare time, they invented Photoshop.
02:54:20.000 Jesus Christ.
02:54:22.000 They must be gazillionaires.
02:54:24.000 But he still works at Skywalker.
02:54:26.000 Do you know who John Carmack is?
02:54:28.000 John Carmack is one of the original owners of id Software.
02:54:34.000 He's the head programmer, lead programmer.
02:54:36.000 He created Quake and Doom and a bunch of different awesome video games.
02:54:42.000 And now he also works on Oculus Rift.
02:54:45.000 He's working on that.
02:54:48.000 Hero to the game community because he created like arguably the greatest 3d shooter of all time a series of them doom quake quake 1 quake 2 quake 3 he In his spare time made rockets in his spare time.
02:55:02.000 He was a rocket scientist So he was he was coding the most complicated 3d graphics engines known to man for video games right then in his spare times He's making rockets.
02:55:15.000 He's a fucking rocket scientist for fun.
02:55:18.000 Then, he would take Ferraris and turbocharge them.
02:55:22.000 So he'd get these Ferraris, because he's got ungodly sums of money for making all these fucking crazy video games that have sold kabillions of copies, right?
02:55:29.000 He's buying Ferraris and re-engineering their fucking engines.
02:55:34.000 In his spare time...
02:55:36.000 What do you mean?
02:55:36.000 Re-engineering it to do what?
02:55:38.000 These double twin turbo-charging Ferraris.
02:55:41.000 So that makes it like a jet?
02:55:42.000 This was a long time ago, man, where a Ferrari would have, like, if it came from the factory, maybe 400 horsepower.
02:55:48.000 He would jack them bitches up to, like, 1,000.
02:55:54.000 In his spare time.
02:55:55.000 He was making...
02:55:56.000 Renaissance man.
02:55:57.000 A real life buckaroo bonsai, if you will.
02:55:59.000 A guy who you and I are barely in the same species.
02:56:04.000 Yeah, exactly.
02:56:05.000 Barely.
02:56:05.000 That's true.
02:56:06.000 In a moment like that, you're like, well, I can't do any of those things.
02:56:09.000 Every time I've had a conversation with him.
02:56:11.000 You'd like to comfort yourself by being like, well, he probably can't make a real good dick joke, and then that's not enough.
02:56:16.000 I'd much rather be him than me.
02:56:17.000 Better off to not balance yourself out.
02:56:20.000 Better not to go, well, he can't do it.
02:56:21.000 Better off to just go, look at this crazy motherfucker.
02:56:24.000 This is amazing.
02:56:25.000 Just appreciate someone else's ability.
02:56:27.000 Yeah, the less time you compare yourself to other people, the better off you'll be.
02:56:32.000 Just enjoy how amazing people are.
02:56:35.000 Don't think, man, I wish I was that amazing.
02:56:37.000 Well, that's when I was going back to the $12,000 a year.
02:56:42.000 Free $12,000 a year for everybody.
02:56:44.000 I think what gets in the way is human nature.
02:56:46.000 Because you have some people who are like, he don't deserve that $12,000.
02:56:50.000 Or he gets a lot.
02:56:52.000 He's got a nicer house.
02:56:53.000 He's also getting the $12,000 I'm getting.
02:56:55.000 Oh yeah, for sure.
02:56:56.000 I think that would start seeping in.
02:56:58.000 Yeah, but he gets a lot because he makes money on top of the $12,000.
02:57:02.000 So his needs are taken care of.
02:57:04.000 You're being logical.
02:57:05.000 You've got to admit, a human animal doesn't always see things logically.
02:57:08.000 Sometimes they just be like, why them, why not me?
02:57:09.000 We get selfish.
02:57:11.000 That's where the $12,000 a year comes into problem.
02:57:15.000 I don't know.
02:57:16.000 We don't know because I don't think it's ever been really, at least on a wide scale, it's ever been practiced.
02:57:21.000 I'm with you.
02:57:22.000 What a good idea.
02:57:22.000 I just don't think our system is good.
02:57:23.000 How many people did you say we had in this country?
02:57:26.000 Three hundred and something million plus Mexicans.
02:57:28.000 So do quick math.
02:57:30.000 What is that?
02:57:31.000 Oh, I'm sure they've done it out.
02:57:32.000 There was an argument by an economist, like a really well-respected economist, for universal basic income.
02:57:39.000 And I think the number they were going by was $12,000 a year.
02:57:43.000 Surprisingly supports universal basic income just Google that and because there was some Pretty prominent economist who actually understands the system, except for you and I. They're like, oh, I got enough money.
02:57:57.000 I can do my thing.
02:57:59.000 Is this like a Noam Chomsky kind of idea?
02:58:01.000 No, I'm not.
02:58:01.000 Noam Chomsky, he's a linguist.
02:58:04.000 Right.
02:58:04.000 So he's not an economist.
02:58:05.000 He wouldn't be talking about economy at all.
02:58:07.000 No.
02:58:08.000 You ever try to follow Noam Chomsky's stuff on language?
02:58:10.000 Oh my God, it's fucking tough, dude.
02:58:11.000 Whoa.
02:58:12.000 It feels like doing exercise with your brain.
02:58:16.000 Yeah.
02:58:17.000 It feels like you're doing a workout.
02:58:21.000 I think Take In Some Chomsky is...
02:58:24.000 There's that movie they did.
02:58:26.000 It was a documentary.
02:58:28.000 Is the Tall Man Happy, I think is the name of it.
02:58:32.000 Is the man who is tall happy?
02:58:34.000 And it was directed by the guy that...
02:58:39.000 Oh, what's his name?
02:58:40.000 Michel Gondry, the director.
02:58:41.000 He made a very interesting documentary that was partly animated in a conversation with...
02:58:47.000 About Chomsky.
02:58:48.000 What is it called again?
02:58:49.000 Is the Man Who is Tall Happy, I believe is the title.
02:58:53.000 And it's wonderful.
02:58:55.000 It's like beginners.
02:58:56.000 It's Chomsky for beginners because it's very colorful and breaks it down.
02:59:00.000 But I watched...
02:59:01.000 The other morning I got up and blazed and watched three interviews with him.
02:59:05.000 Talking about post-election and stuff and his take on everything.
02:59:09.000 He's a fascinating character.
02:59:11.000 Oh my god.
02:59:12.000 He's advanced in age at this point, but that mind is sharp as a tack.
02:59:18.000 And it's one of those minds you can be like, there's going to be a loss to lose that mind.
02:59:22.000 He's thinking about things that a lot of others aren't.
02:59:24.000 And his thing that spooked me big deal was...
02:59:28.000 He said right now the whole world should be focused on the Russian front, on Russia and the Russian front, because that's where your hot spot of activities like the United States and Russia have come into conflict recently in a way that they haven't since the Cold War.
02:59:45.000 And he's going, and now you're talking about two superpowers with the ability to destroy the planet.
02:59:49.000 Shit that we haven't really thought about since the fucking 80s.
02:59:52.000 And all of a sudden you're like, oh, is that what they meant by make America great again?
02:59:55.000 Like, let's be scared of the possible nuclear annihilation?
02:59:59.000 Because I hadn't thought about that in years, I'll be honest with you.
03:00:01.000 That was another thing that bummed me out about the Clinton campaign.
03:00:04.000 They were Russian fear-mongering.
03:00:06.000 One of the big things that she kept saying during the election was they were talking about being hacked.
03:00:10.000 And she was saying it was the Russians.
03:00:11.000 So she was implying that Donald Trump supports the Russians because he supports the hacks.
03:00:16.000 And there's no evidence that the Russians did it.
03:00:18.000 None.
03:00:19.000 I've looked at it.
03:00:20.000 People have gotten mad at me so that I've looked into it deeply.
03:00:23.000 No one has proven that the Russians have done it.
03:00:25.000 But they're saying it as if they've proven the Russians have done it.
03:00:28.000 So, one of two things.
03:00:30.000 I thought the Russians admitted that they actually tinkered with it.
03:00:32.000 Sure, I would admit it too.
03:00:33.000 But there's no evidence that they did it.
03:00:35.000 Okay.
03:00:35.000 I mean, who knows if they did it?
03:00:36.000 Fair point.
03:00:37.000 The problem is, if you say they did it, you gotta know for sure they did it.
03:00:41.000 Otherwise, I'm gonna listen to you every time you say you know something for sure, and I'm like, this bitch definitely doesn't know for sure.
03:00:47.000 You can't know for sure, because you don't have the information.
03:00:50.000 If you did, you'd tell us what it was.
03:00:52.000 Like, you don't know.
03:00:53.000 And the FBI doesn't say they know, and the CIA doesn't say they know.
03:00:57.000 There's a likelihood, there's a possibility, there's a high probability, but you don't know.
03:01:01.000 So until you know, you can't say you know.
03:01:04.000 Because as soon as you do, because you might be full of shit about other things.
03:01:07.000 You might...
03:01:08.000 You know, you might fill in the blank on a bunch of other important stuff and pretend you know when you don't know, because that's what you're doing.
03:01:13.000 And I think that's another thing as a civilization.
03:01:16.000 We can't allow that.
03:01:17.000 We can't allow that.
03:01:19.000 Like in Donald Trump, when he keeps talking about these millions of voters that illegally voted and kept him from winning the popular vote, you can't say that.
03:01:27.000 You can't do that anymore.
03:01:29.000 Why?
03:01:29.000 Because you can't lie.
03:01:30.000 Well, number one, you couldn't do that before.
03:01:34.000 Right.
03:01:35.000 He kind of seems to have brought it back.
03:01:37.000 And it hasn't killed him.
03:01:38.000 He is, in fact, the president.
03:01:40.000 When you do this thing, when you put your hand on the ancient book and you raise your right hand.
03:01:44.000 I'm with you, but we're in the epsidazium now.
03:01:46.000 Like, it doesn't matter what used to be, and there is no more you can't because of things like that, where you're like, well, you couldn't, but he did, and everything worked out fine.
03:01:56.000 But I'm with you.
03:01:57.000 I'm totally with you in terms of, like, you shouldn't fucking say that, because that starts breaking the system down.
03:02:03.000 But then again, we were just talking about, like, is this a system that you even want to place?
03:02:07.000 In a world where you're like, do we need a president?
03:02:09.000 Who cares what's being said then?
03:02:11.000 Why does it matter if somebody's being like, there was people that voted that didn't vote?
03:02:16.000 Yeah, because he's the guy now.
03:02:19.000 See, if you want that position, you have to be under oath all the time.
03:02:22.000 That's what it's got to be like.
03:02:23.000 Totally.
03:02:23.000 If you really want to say that you're so noble or you're so powerful or wise, whatever you are, whatever your attributes are, you're so awesome that you should be the president?
03:02:32.000 Man, you can't be lying about illegal voters.
03:02:35.000 Unless you have some data, you can't say it.
03:02:37.000 Until you have some data, you can't say it.
03:02:39.000 And once you say it, you've got to have some data.
03:02:41.000 But he said a lot of things with no data whatsoever.
03:02:43.000 I know.
03:02:44.000 And I understand you say anything to get elected, but now we're beyond that.
03:02:47.000 I know.
03:02:47.000 It's still playing the same kind of game.
03:02:49.000 I know.
03:02:50.000 I've just not grown comfortable with, but I think I have to learn to accept the fact that What I used to consider a fact is no longer a fact.
03:03:00.000 People talk about facts in this real loose way now where they're just like, well, what is a fact?
03:03:04.000 A fact to you may not be a fact to me.
03:03:05.000 And it's like, well, that's not the definition of fact at all.
03:03:07.000 A fact is a fact.
03:03:08.000 But people go, what's factual for you may not be factual for me.
03:03:12.000 We're on such a fucking slippery slope now.
03:03:14.000 The Matrix, bro.
03:03:15.000 That's the least egregious thing at this point of him being like, 2 million people voted illegally.
03:03:20.000 Because the dude was literally saying he won the popular vote.
03:03:23.000 That's the first big kind of untruth.
03:03:25.000 But he said a lot of things that sometimes he chalks up to like, I was kidding.
03:03:30.000 It's the same kind of thing.
03:03:32.000 Someone's saying that the Russians hacked the Democratic National Conference or committee or whatever the fuck it is, DNC. Are you sure?
03:03:40.000 That's the same thing.
03:03:41.000 Saying that.
03:03:43.000 Whether they're little tiny lies or whether they're leaps of faith or leaps of judgment or whether they're just full fabrications, you can't do any of them.
03:03:52.000 Shouldn't be able to do any of those.
03:03:53.000 I agree.
03:03:54.000 Like, if anybody catches you, like, if you're in big government and, you know, there's a video of the FBI saying one thing and then you saying another thing.
03:04:00.000 When the FBI told me this and the FBI saying explicitly what they told you and those things don't match.
03:04:04.000 Right.
03:04:04.000 There should be a trial.
03:04:06.000 Right.
03:04:06.000 They should be like, are you a liar?
03:04:07.000 Like, do you get interviewed?
03:04:10.000 As long as it's extended to people that are like, you know, the president was born in...
03:04:13.000 It should only be when you have power.
03:04:15.000 In a Muslim country and he's Muslim.
03:04:16.000 Like, yeah, he's a perfect example.
03:04:18.000 When he was saying that...
03:04:20.000 That he was born in Kenya.
03:04:21.000 Trump was like a major league birther.
03:04:24.000 That's a perfect example.
03:04:25.000 Yeah.
03:04:25.000 He was some theorized, I've read, that he kind of jumped on to the birther movement because he was like, well, if I ingratiate myself with this crowd, that'll be helpful if I want to run for president in a couple of years.
03:04:38.000 Or he might have watched a YouTube video and believed it, too.
03:04:41.000 That, too.
03:04:42.000 I like to think that—I mean, I don't like to think, but I choose to think— That he's smarter than that.
03:04:49.000 Oh, I don't know, man.
03:04:51.000 It could have just been him.
03:04:52.000 Like, recently he tweeted, anyone who burns the flag should go to jail and be arrested.
03:04:57.000 And then they found out, I read an article online, that they had just run a piece on Fox News about flag burning.
03:05:05.000 So he was kind of informed by something he just watched on TV. But that's how most people tweet, right?
03:05:11.000 They see something and go like that.
03:05:12.000 But that's not what you want out of a chief executive of a country.
03:05:15.000 At least that's traditionally not what people wanted.
03:05:17.000 But this time, that seems to be what people want.
03:05:20.000 Did you know Hillary Clinton had proposed that very same thing in 2005?
03:05:23.000 She proposed that flag burning should have a stiff fine in a year in jail.
03:05:28.000 Like, she said that.
03:05:29.000 Right.
03:05:30.000 But she's not the president.
03:05:31.000 I know.
03:05:32.000 Yeah, right.
03:05:33.000 Now that he is.
03:05:33.000 Well, the whole thing is...
03:05:35.000 It's uber, uber bizarre from top to bottom.
03:05:38.000 Do you feel like...
03:05:38.000 And I don't want to, you know, paint it cynically.
03:05:44.000 Like, this country has been here for a while, probably be here for a lot longer than our petty issues with it in the moment, if we have issues with it.
03:05:52.000 But...
03:05:53.000 I just, you know, it became a different world in the span of six months.
03:06:01.000 Yeah, I feel like it did too.
03:06:02.000 Like, you know, in a way where, you know, I thought I had this down.
03:06:05.000 Like, I think about this.
03:06:06.000 Whenever I was in school, you'd read like your history books and you'd be like, how come they didn't stop this?
03:06:12.000 Why didn't they know this was going on?
03:06:14.000 Like, what the...
03:06:15.000 Are you serious?
03:06:16.000 Like, I'm sitting here as a child reading this, and I know that this is wrong.
03:06:19.000 Why didn't someone step in?
03:06:20.000 Why didn't blah, blah, blah?
03:06:21.000 I remember going to Germany the first time with Clerks.
03:06:25.000 I went to the Berlin Film Festival.
03:06:26.000 And before screening, me and my friend Brian Johnson, we were like, well, let's go see a concentration camp.
03:06:32.000 We're here.
03:06:32.000 We should go see a concentration camp.
03:06:33.000 And they're like, dude, you've got to introduce a comedy in three hours.
03:06:36.000 You really don't want to do that.
03:06:37.000 I was like, no, I'll compartmentalize.
03:06:39.000 I was like, let me...
03:06:39.000 I'm here.
03:06:40.000 I've got to see history.
03:06:42.000 And so, you know, we went to Buchenwald?
03:06:46.000 The one that says, albeit mocked Fry over it, work will make you free, like the worst fucking lie.
03:06:52.000 And it's, you know, obviously fucking sobering and horrible.
03:06:56.000 And, you know, you're seeing the dimensions and spaces where things happened and whatnot.
03:07:01.000 And you can't help but turn to the guy who was our cab driver who drove us for Berlin, which was like 40 minutes out of Berlin, maybe an hour out of Berlin, and then drove us back.
03:07:10.000 And, you know, he was waiting with us while we were there, so he went through the concentration camp.
03:07:14.000 He was born and raised in Germany, so I'm sure he's had to do this a number of times with school or something like that.
03:07:19.000 Right.
03:07:20.000 But you couldn't help it on the ride back.
03:07:22.000 You didn't want to be that American dick.
03:07:23.000 But it's like, did anyone in your family know?
03:07:27.000 Did you guys talk about this?
03:07:30.000 Like, how do they handle this sort of thing over here?
03:07:33.000 Like, how did you guys wake up after it was all over and go back to what was the new normal?
03:07:39.000 Like, you realize this is fucking heinous.
03:07:41.000 You know, and the guy was just like, it's taught to us in school.
03:07:44.000 And there was a moment when, you know, every young kid in school learns about...
03:07:48.000 Hitler and the Third Reich and the Holocaust that they go back to their parents and start saying, like, how much did you know?
03:07:53.000 How much did grandma and grandpa know?
03:07:54.000 Blah, blah, blah.
03:07:55.000 Wow.
03:07:55.000 So I think of moments like that where I'm just...
03:07:58.000 And I'm certainly not comparing this country to the fucking Germany by any stretch of the imagination.
03:08:03.000 Did you say Trump was Hitler?
03:08:04.000 Not at all.
03:08:04.000 Bro, that's why I heard it.
03:08:05.000 Not at all.
03:08:06.000 All I'm saying is, like, there are moments in history where, you know, I thought we were kind of past it.
03:08:13.000 History happens all the time.
03:08:14.000 You know, obviously September 11th is a very big historical moment in our lifetime.
03:08:18.000 But I really felt like, well, you know, until like World War III, we're probably done with history for a little bit, which is a ridiculous fucking statement.
03:08:27.000 But now I feel like we are living in a chapter in a history book.
03:08:31.000 Some kid in the future is going to be looking at this chapter and being like...
03:08:34.000 Really?
03:08:34.000 Like, they didn't know?
03:08:35.000 That's what they did?
03:08:36.000 And I'm not saying again, like, I expect horrible things from this guy or anything.
03:08:39.000 I'm just saying the world is vastly changed in a way that it's going to be recognized now, and it'll be recognized when they write the book on this year, and when they write the book on this year for years to come.
03:08:52.000 Suddenly we're kind of in that moment as well.
03:08:54.000 But then again...
03:08:56.000 We probably were always in a moment of history.
03:08:58.000 And I don't even mean in a stoner way, like, this is a moment of history, and this is a moment of history.
03:09:02.000 But history's not always that loud and noticeable.
03:09:05.000 Sometimes it's quiet, and they don't notice it until later on.
03:09:07.000 Well, we've gone through it.
03:09:09.000 I mean, I'm a couple years older than you, but we remember Reagan.
03:09:12.000 Yeah.
03:09:13.000 We remember the Iran-Contra affair.
03:09:15.000 Is that what it feels like to you?
03:09:17.000 Culturally, it felt like, because I was just having this discussion with somebody else, but in the 70s, 60s into the 70s, you had this kind of Progressive, growing America where suddenly, you know, maybe there wasn't as much segregation and, you know,
03:09:33.000 people were kind of developing, evolving and becoming more like the world we recognize now.
03:09:41.000 And it felt like, you know, like by showing you stuff like All in the Family and whatnot, You know, arts tries to push the edge of the envelope at all times.
03:09:51.000 Try to put normalcy into something that, you know, a situation that you maybe don't find normal.
03:09:56.000 But if you see it on TV enough, you're like, hey, I'm over it.
03:09:59.000 And suddenly it's for real and stuff like that.
03:10:02.000 It felt like, you know, the 80s and Reagan, and again, I'm not a political creature by any stretch of the imagination.
03:10:07.000 I lived through it, but I was not active during it by any stretch of the imagination.
03:10:11.000 But it feels like that time was a reaction to the culture.
03:10:16.000 Like, hey, things have gotten too loosey-goosey around here.
03:10:19.000 And then things got conservative for eight years or maybe.
03:10:24.000 And then it feels like things loosen up.
03:10:26.000 I mean, again, I'm no political analyst, but it just seems like if you look over your history...
03:10:30.000 It contracts and it expands.
03:10:33.000 It contracts and it expands.
03:10:36.000 But the contractions don't seem to bring it back to square one.
03:10:41.000 You know, it may be a matter of two steps forward, one step back.
03:10:45.000 Two steps forward, one step back.
03:10:47.000 And if you do that enough over the course of a nation, there's growth and you'll see the balance.
03:10:51.000 But you've got a bunch of people that don't believe in the same...
03:10:56.000 Don't even see the world through the same prism.
03:10:58.000 So it just feels like, I don't know, I mean, maybe the idea, and again, a couple stoners talk about how to do the presidency better.
03:11:06.000 Maybe you just have an agreement where it's like eight years of this, eight years of that, and that's only if it's a two-party system.
03:11:12.000 Like, what if you come up with a four-party system and you're like, okay, you only get four years, and then it goes to this party right after, then this party, this party.
03:11:19.000 Well, there's a multiple-party system.
03:11:21.000 You have multiple independent parties.
03:11:23.000 If you look at the ballot, a lot of other people wanted to run for president, right?
03:11:27.000 Like Gary Johnson and Jill Stein, and I'm sure there were a bunch of other ones that we don't know.
03:11:31.000 Yeah, there was Zoltan Istvan, who's the...
03:11:34.000 He's the transcendent or transhumanist party.
03:11:37.000 There's like a lot of people ran, but that's...
03:11:41.000 The system is just so old.
03:11:44.000 It's just so goddamn ancient.
03:11:46.000 We're trying to patch up this thing that we would never create today.
03:11:50.000 If it existed today, there's no way we would ever let one person have all the fucking power.
03:11:55.000 I just think that human beings are in a process of waking up and of realizing how bizarre our position is.
03:12:05.000 I mean, and not just our position in America, but our position on the planet Earth as it hurls through infinity.
03:12:11.000 We're on a spinning ball that's floating in the sky and hurling towards the cosmos or through the cosmos.
03:12:18.000 We tend not to focus on that.
03:12:20.000 That alone is insane.
03:12:22.000 And we're concentrating on whether or not gay people should be able to marry or girls should be able to get abortions or whether or not Black Lives Matter.
03:12:31.000 We're fucking hurling through infinity.
03:12:35.000 This slow process of realization coincides with the innovation that you're seeing from all these different new technology companies that are coming up with better and better ways to communicate, whether it's cellular or fucking video or whether they're using Snapchat or virtual reality rooms where they can all meet in.
03:12:54.000 And it's going to keep going and going and going and going and going and going until we're in some sort of a matrix-like world.
03:13:01.000 It's inevitable.
03:13:02.000 It's going to fucking happen.
03:13:04.000 You think we go digital eventually?
03:13:05.000 100%.
03:13:06.000 100%.
03:13:07.000 And I think we might not even have a choice.
03:13:10.000 I think it's entirely possible we're going to create a new form of life, some new artificial form of life, and that thing is going to be what goes on from now.
03:13:19.000 We're going to merge with that somehow.
03:13:22.000 We're going to find out that they can give you new eyes when your eyes go bad, and these eyes allow you to look at navigation screens and Google things, and you're going to be able to stare straight at the sun.
03:13:36.000 It's inevitable that we're going to improve upon the human body.
03:13:39.000 They're already replacing people's hips and shoulders and knees.
03:13:43.000 They're growing fucking hearts in a laboratory with stem cells that actually beat.
03:13:47.000 They created a woman's bladder out of stem cells.
03:13:50.000 She had bladder cancer.
03:13:51.000 They made her a bladder.
03:13:52.000 Here, we got one for you.
03:13:53.000 Stitched it back in there, like, whoa.
03:13:55.000 It's very sci-fi.
03:13:56.000 We're doing some crazy shit, and it's going to keep going.
03:13:59.000 50, 60, 70, 80, 100 years from now, whatever it takes.
03:14:02.000 We're going to merge.
03:14:04.000 We're going to merge with technology.
03:14:05.000 And technology is going to be smarter than us.
03:14:07.000 You and I have been sitting here talking for a little while, and normally when you're in the world, you've got that device in your hand.
03:14:14.000 I've noticed that my wife says that all the time.
03:14:17.000 She's...
03:14:17.000 It's like, you're never separated from that phone.
03:14:20.000 Like, I get up from the side of the bed, I pick it up and go to the bathroom because I'm like, well, I might want to play a game or I might want to look up some information.
03:14:27.000 Like, there seems to be a human need for data at all times now.
03:14:31.000 We've trained ourselves to have data at our fingertips.
03:14:34.000 We no longer sit there and go, what is that person's name?
03:14:37.000 Now you're just like, oh, I'll look it up.
03:14:39.000 So a lot of our thinking has been pushed off to...
03:14:47.000 Yeah.
03:14:54.000 Yeah.
03:15:03.000 What's going to happen, yeah, you're right, in the next fucking 50 years?
03:15:05.000 We're going to merge.
03:15:07.000 We're going to somehow...
03:15:07.000 There's this new Google Assistant that comes with the Google Pixel phone.
03:15:12.000 It's like their version of Siri, but it's superior because it's contextual.
03:15:17.000 So I could say, like, how old's Kevin Smith?
03:15:20.000 And they'll say, Kevin Smith is 46 years old.
03:15:22.000 What's he working on these days?
03:15:23.000 Like, it knows I'm talking about you.
03:15:24.000 I'll say, what's he working on these days?
03:15:26.000 Kevin Smith just produced a movie.
03:15:27.000 It's got...
03:15:29.000 Yoga hosers.
03:15:30.000 But could you say that about, like, Grace Smith, my mom?
03:15:33.000 No.
03:15:34.000 I mean, it'd have to be out on the internet, like all the data and details.
03:15:37.000 But, like, say if you wanted to know.
03:15:38.000 My mom's always on the fucking cruising Craigslist trying to get fucking cocked.
03:15:41.000 Okay, what is Craigslist?
03:15:42.000 It'll tell you.
03:15:43.000 Craigslist is this.
03:15:44.000 How many people on Craigslist are selling drugs?
03:15:47.000 Well, we found approximately 5,000.
03:15:49.000 It gives you, like, contextual.
03:15:51.000 It's true to make it much easier.
03:15:52.000 Like, look, I'm looking to have the girlfriend experience.
03:15:55.000 How many people on Craigslist are offering it?
03:15:56.000 Oh, that's for sure going to happen.
03:15:57.000 Like, cha-cha-cha-cha-ching.
03:15:59.000 Well, if you could get, like, sort of...
03:16:01.000 You know how Bitcoin has sort of enabled people to...
03:16:04.000 Still happening, Bitcoin?
03:16:05.000 Oh, yeah.
03:16:06.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:16:07.000 Don't you ever say that around Andreas Antonopoulos.
03:16:10.000 It's still going on.
03:16:10.000 We get furious at you.
03:16:11.000 Yeah, we have this guy.
03:16:12.000 He prefers not to call himself Bitcoin Jesus because he doesn't like how his story ends.
03:16:16.000 He likes Bitcoin Buddha.
03:16:17.000 Right.
03:16:18.000 He feels like it's better.
03:16:19.000 It leads to enlightenment.
03:16:19.000 Didn't they have a problem?
03:16:20.000 Like, somebody fucking hacked their account or something like that?
03:16:23.000 Oh, yeah.
03:16:23.000 Well, that's...
03:16:24.000 Well, this is a long conversation if you want to go with that.
03:16:26.000 No, no need, but it's still happening.
03:16:27.000 That is actually an exchange that got tapped into.
03:16:31.000 It was the Magic the Gathering exchange.
03:16:34.000 That's what it started out as.
03:16:36.000 You know that game, Magic the Gathering?
03:16:37.000 It started off as that, and then during that time, people started trading Bitcoin on that when it was nothing.
03:16:44.000 Right.
03:16:44.000 And then that Bitcoin became worth hundreds of millions of dollars, and then they got robbed.
03:16:47.000 So all the Bitcoin got stolen out, and this guy got in trouble because he ran the site that he was never...
03:16:52.000 No one had any idea that it was going to be worth hundreds of millions of dollars and that this guy would lose it all.
03:16:57.000 So the whole thing was like a really crazy and sordid affair, but...
03:17:01.000 The spirit of Bitcoin is that you and I can exchange money for services with no third party.
03:17:08.000 Just you and I. There's no bank in that.
03:17:09.000 Yeah, like you want to buy this computer.
03:17:10.000 I say, sure, give me X amount of Bitcoin and you send it to my phone.
03:17:13.000 All right, cool, we got a deal.
03:17:14.000 And then you're done.
03:17:15.000 And this idea, I mean, if you could get to the point where you're talking to your phone and you tell your phone to order you a pizza and pay for it in Bitcoin and it's doing everything digitally and it's Bitcoin or Bitcoin?
03:17:30.000 Bitcoin.
03:17:30.000 When you eat, it's Bitcoin.
03:17:31.000 When you're buying shit, it's Bitcoin.
03:17:33.000 What is it when it's a hooker?
03:17:35.000 Bitcoin.
03:17:36.000 Ah.
03:17:38.000 That sounds racist.
03:17:39.000 Some will have the coin, but not everyone will have the coin.
03:17:41.000 What was the coin?
03:17:42.000 It meant like love, respect, everything.
03:17:45.000 I don't know.
03:17:46.000 What does that mean?
03:17:47.000 What does that mean?
03:17:48.000 Remember Jerry Maguire, man?
03:17:49.000 He was always talking about the coin.
03:17:51.000 I don't.
03:17:51.000 He said it was the full package.
03:17:53.000 It was love, money, respect, endorsement.
03:17:57.000 I don't know.
03:17:58.000 Hmm.
03:17:59.000 But it was a bigger deal than just like...
03:18:00.000 Okay.
03:18:01.000 All right, but go back to Bitcoin.
03:18:02.000 So it's still going on.
03:18:03.000 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:18:04.000 There's some people who love it.
03:18:06.000 Yeah, I like the idea, but I think it's awesome.
03:18:08.000 Very democratic way to...
03:18:12.000 It's my money.
03:18:12.000 Why do I have to go through this, this, this?
03:18:14.000 And I understand those institutions and FDIC is all built to protect your money, but it also seems engineered to...
03:18:21.000 Keep your money and get your money and take a percentage of it as well.
03:18:25.000 I have the weirdest abstract take on cryptocurrencies.
03:18:28.000 I think that ultimately all money will be digital.
03:18:31.000 And since money, if it all becomes digital like that, money is basically information.
03:18:37.000 And the one thing that's keeping people from each other, like the one thing that separates us is the barrier of information.
03:18:45.000 Like, I can't read your emails.
03:18:46.000 You can't read my mind.
03:18:48.000 You can't see my pictures.
03:18:51.000 You can't know everything that you can possibly know instantaneously.
03:18:56.000 There's like this barrier, and that barrier is all information, right?
03:18:59.000 It's all trying to get writing.
03:19:02.000 What has someone written?
03:19:04.000 What is all the scholarly work on astrophysics?
03:19:08.000 What is all...
03:19:09.000 All that stuff, the barriers between us and those things are slowly being removed.
03:19:14.000 There's more and more information.
03:19:15.000 If you went on the internet in 1996 and tried to get an education, you'd be a retarded.
03:19:21.000 You wouldn't have that education.
03:19:22.000 You're not going to learn shit.
03:19:24.000 But now, you can legitimately get a full college education online.
03:19:28.000 Plus, you can read a million different papers on all sorts of different things, especially if you want to pay for them, on all sorts of different studies.
03:19:36.000 You get smarter online than you could actually in a classroom.
03:19:39.000 You could almost never run out of things to absorb, almost never run out of information.
03:19:44.000 And I think that that's the one thing that technology seems to be embracing, is closing the gap between people and data, closing the gap between people and information.
03:19:54.000 Well, eventually, that money is going to be the only bottleneck.
03:19:58.000 To read in each other's minds.
03:20:01.000 What money is, if it's Bitcoin or if it's digital, it's a one and a zero.
03:20:05.000 It's just a code.
03:20:06.000 So what's to stop me from getting into that code?
03:20:09.000 How come I can't get that code?
03:20:10.000 Well, that's somebody else's.
03:20:12.000 Oh, okay.
03:20:13.000 What does that mean?
03:20:14.000 What does that mean?
03:20:15.000 Is it information?
03:20:16.000 What is it?
03:20:16.000 Can I get it?
03:20:17.000 Can I copy it?
03:20:18.000 No, if you copy it, it's no good.
03:20:20.000 Oh, okay.
03:20:21.000 So it's a finite resource.
03:20:22.000 Well, that's fucking ridiculous.
03:20:23.000 Because it's not.
03:20:24.000 We're not talking about oil or water or rocks or minerals or metals.
03:20:30.000 We're talking about some goofy fucking numbers that you've got on a goddamn commuter.
03:20:33.000 It's information.
03:20:35.000 It allows us access to resources.
03:20:37.000 We should all have access to all the information.
03:20:39.000 And then it's going to be some weird merging of digital minds, some sort of a hive mind system created by something like Google or some company that figures out a way to allow people to communicate thought to thought, and it's going to have Money attached to it.
03:20:55.000 All of it.
03:20:55.000 It's going to be a big fucking soup of information.
03:20:58.000 That's going to be the breakdown.
03:21:00.000 The breakdown is money.
03:21:01.000 Why?
03:21:02.000 Why that?
03:21:03.000 Because it's information.
03:21:04.000 Because if money becomes information...
03:21:05.000 This is obviously super stoner talk.
03:21:08.000 Go ahead.
03:21:08.000 But if money just becomes ones and zeros, what's happening with WikiLeaks, you know, these...
03:21:16.000 Emails getting hacked, data getting out, you know, Sony getting hacked, all their data getting out, all these people.
03:21:23.000 The barriers are falling between people and information.
03:21:27.000 They said in the government right now, our government.
03:21:30.000 I love it when I say something retarded and someone nods like, yeah, dude.
03:21:33.000 I'm like, that's fucking, that's dumb, dude.
03:21:35.000 They said that there's a deep need for hackers in this country.
03:21:39.000 Whoa.
03:21:40.000 There's not enough because everywhere else, like hacking has exponentially increased over the course of the last few years by double the amount that it was.
03:21:49.000 And that's why you're seeing things like, they took down Sony.
03:21:52.000 Of course.
03:21:52.000 They took down this one.
03:21:53.000 They took down this one.
03:21:54.000 So, yeah, lately I've just been like, do I really want to have...
03:21:58.000 All my world online?
03:22:00.000 I go the other way, where I'm just like, well, how do you protect that stuff?
03:22:03.000 How do you protect...
03:22:04.000 Well, you think you'll be able to for a while.
03:22:08.000 Just to set the fact that you can't?
03:22:09.000 Well, the trend is clearly going to the cloud.
03:22:11.000 If you look at these goddamn new Macs, they don't even have a slot for a USB, like a thumb drive.
03:22:17.000 Scary, right?
03:22:17.000 They don't have a DVD player.
03:22:19.000 There's no other way to do it.
03:22:20.000 You have to do everything wirelessly.
03:22:21.000 Like, wow, this is weird.
03:22:24.000 So you have a very minimal hard drive.
03:22:26.000 The hard drives of the new MacBooks are smaller than the old hard drives.
03:22:31.000 They've made them smaller.
03:22:33.000 So it can be lighter or more compact?
03:22:34.000 So it can be lighter, more compact, but also you're not storing shit on your computer anymore.
03:22:38.000 Because you're throwing it up in the cloud.
03:22:39.000 They want to throw everything up on the cloud.
03:22:40.000 You're like, oh.
03:22:42.000 Where do you stand on that?
03:22:43.000 It's fascinating.
03:22:45.000 Because on one hand, I think it's inevitable.
03:22:47.000 On the other hand, I'm digging my heels in the dirt and I'm getting dragged along.
03:22:51.000 So I got off the Apple tip.
03:22:53.000 I got a Windows 10 laptop.
03:22:55.000 Why?
03:22:56.000 Two terabytes of fucking storage.
03:22:58.000 Two terabytes.
03:22:59.000 You can't get that in any Mac whatsoever?
03:23:02.000 You could.
03:23:02.000 It costs you a fucking shit ton.
03:23:05.000 Way more.
03:23:07.000 Do they...
03:23:08.000 Does this operate smooth?
03:23:09.000 It's great.
03:23:10.000 Windows 10. Lenovo ThinkPad.
03:23:12.000 People need them for business.
03:23:14.000 If they broke down all the time, I just assumed they had to be better now.
03:23:18.000 So I said, I'm going to give it a try.
03:23:19.000 I've only been using it for a few months.
03:23:21.000 Zero problems.
03:23:22.000 Super durable.
03:23:23.000 Were you Mac prior to this the whole time?
03:23:24.000 Yeah.
03:23:24.000 For like years.
03:23:26.000 Since, like, the 90s, really.
03:23:29.000 You're one of those cats that, you know, when it all collapses, you're going to be fine.
03:23:33.000 I'm fucked.
03:23:34.000 You're fucked.
03:23:35.000 No, you've unplugged and gone off the grid before anybody else.
03:23:38.000 You've thought about things that most people don't think.
03:23:40.000 You have big thinks.
03:23:41.000 You don't just smoke and be like, damn it, life's good.
03:23:45.000 You smoke and go deep on the big think, on stuff that, like...
03:23:49.000 Like you pointed out, very few people do, it's usually stoners, that the big issues are, that we all think of the big issues, are nothing compared to like, you do recall, we're hurtling through space on a fucking rock.
03:24:01.000 Yeah.
03:24:02.000 Spinning.
03:24:02.000 Like, anything can happen.
03:24:04.000 Anything.
03:24:04.000 And you're worried about...
03:24:06.000 This or this.
03:24:08.000 Nonsense.
03:24:09.000 Fucking, you know...
03:24:10.000 Gender identity pronouns.
03:24:11.000 Knocked off Netflix or something like that.
03:24:12.000 Yeah.
03:24:13.000 Oh, my God.
03:24:13.000 Even the big things that people are like, this is everything in life.
03:24:16.000 Yes.
03:24:17.000 Kentucky Derby.
03:24:17.000 So you do the big thing on everything beyond the obvious, beyond the temporal or the daily.
03:24:23.000 You're going like, what's next?
03:24:25.000 What happens?
03:24:27.000 Ten years from now.
03:24:29.000 What happens to us?
03:24:30.000 Not just, hey, what happens to me?
03:24:32.000 Because that's very human nature to be like, what happens to me?
03:24:35.000 But your thing is, what happens to us as a species?
03:24:37.000 You're a thinker and a seeker.
03:24:39.000 That's what I always like about you, man.
03:24:40.000 You're not content to just be like, I think I know everything there is pretty much to know that I'm interested in the rest I'm really not interested in.
03:24:46.000 You refill all the time.
03:24:48.000 I met a priest once when I was a kid.
03:24:51.000 And he said, not when I was a kid, but I was like a grown-ass man.
03:24:54.000 I was 20-something.
03:24:55.000 It was before I wrote Dogma.
03:24:56.000 It was when I went out to film school in like 92 in Vancouver.
03:25:00.000 And I was in Washington State.
03:25:02.000 My uncle lived in Federal Way.
03:25:04.000 And so I was like, you know what?
03:25:05.000 I'm going to go to my uncle's and then go up from there.
03:25:07.000 He can drive me up, drop my shit off and stuff.
03:25:10.000 And I never really left my side of the world, let alone fucking New Jersey and stuff.
03:25:17.000 So, at one point, I was still struggling.
03:25:20.000 It was the end of my Catholicism as I knew it in childhood.
03:25:24.000 I just believe everything.
03:25:25.000 They tell me and stuff.
03:25:26.000 So I was having some troubles with it, and I went into...
03:25:28.000 I was walking around, and I wouldn't call myself an emo kid, but, like, I still was raised in it.
03:25:34.000 When you believe something from the moment you're born, like, you know, all the tenets of the Catholic faith...
03:25:40.000 I was an altar boy, even, for heaven's sakes.
03:25:44.000 When that moment comes, it's almost like the adult version of when your parents are like, there is no Santa Claus.
03:25:51.000 Where suddenly you're like, what?
03:25:53.000 You fucking upended my entire existence.
03:25:56.000 So I was going through that.
03:25:57.000 And I'm age 22 at this point.
03:25:59.000 Should have gone through it in high school, but I held on to mine a lot longer.
03:26:02.000 So I walked into this church.
03:26:04.000 And I sat down, and a priest came by eventually, a younger priest.
03:26:09.000 He's like, can I help you?
03:26:10.000 And I was like, oh, I'm just having a crisis of faith and just sitting here and praying and meditating on it and stuff.
03:26:16.000 And he goes, come in the office, we'll talk.
03:26:18.000 And I went into his office, and he was like, what's the issue?
03:26:20.000 And I was like, I believed in this shit so much when I was a kid.
03:26:25.000 Like, it wasn't even a matter of belief.
03:26:27.000 This was the truth.
03:26:29.000 I said, but now I'm of this mind that, like, you know what, we follow this Bible and it's supposed to be the Word of God, but, like, thousands of years ago, there were a bunch of people that followed a bunch of other books that said there were multiple gods, and now we read those books and go, isn't that fucking quaint?
03:26:45.000 These fuckers thought there were twelve gods, one for each thing that ever happened in the day.
03:26:49.000 I said, I'm afraid one day that they're going to turn around and say the same thing about our book.
03:26:54.000 I just don't believe like I believed when I was a kid.
03:26:58.000 And the priest said something really smart.
03:27:00.000 I stuck it in the movie.
03:27:00.000 It was so smart.
03:27:01.000 He said, well, he's going, when you're a little kid, think of yourself as a small glass.
03:27:06.000 You're very easy to fill up.
03:27:08.000 People put liquid in you, you're done.
03:27:11.000 It's easy to top off a small glass.
03:27:12.000 He's going, the older you get, the glass gets bigger.
03:27:15.000 You can't expect the same amount of liquid that filled that small glass to fill the big glass.
03:27:20.000 And I was like, what do you mean?
03:27:21.000 He's like, periodically you gotta refill the glass.
03:27:23.000 Now he was talking about faith and shit, but that goes for anything.
03:27:26.000 Even goes for intellectual pursuits or just the person who's the seeker, who's not content to just be like, I see it all as it is and I think I understand it now.
03:27:39.000 You always understand there's more to understand and you go looking for the, not just like, hey, that's kind of fucked up and interesting, but what's really ultimately important.
03:27:48.000 If you scrape away all the stuff that we kind of concern ourselves with, the shit you think about, like, you know, and again, this is just from fucking listening to some podcast and mostly looking at your Instagram thread.
03:27:58.000 Is shit that's, like, useful if it all went away.
03:28:02.000 And it's not just like, you know, I know how to live off the land and stuff.
03:28:05.000 You're thinking big think about where the mind goes.
03:28:09.000 You know, like, most people look like you, strong and shit like that.
03:28:13.000 Don't fucking think nearly as much as you think.
03:28:16.000 I know that's a stereotype, but it's true.
03:28:17.000 You can't develop one set of muscles and concentrate on another.
03:28:21.000 Generally speaking, you either concentrate on building your brain, building your body.
03:28:24.000 You found a perfect way to build both.
03:28:26.000 I think you'd be surprised.
03:28:27.000 What do you mean?
03:28:28.000 No, fuck you.
03:28:29.000 You're smart.
03:28:29.000 You're smart, dude.
03:28:30.000 Yeah, but especially jujitsu guys.
03:28:31.000 I know a lot of really, really smart jujitsu guys.
03:28:34.000 Of course.
03:28:34.000 It's a fat man stereotype to be like, all muscle heads must be dumb.
03:28:38.000 That's the only thing I got in this.
03:28:39.000 Do you know what Josh Waitzkin is?
03:28:40.000 I do not.
03:28:40.000 He's the guy from, he was the inspiration for the movie Searching for Bobby Fischer.
03:28:45.000 Oh, I love that movie.
03:28:45.000 American chess champion.
03:28:47.000 He became obsessed with jiu-jitsu and now has a Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt under Marcelo Garcia, like one of the most respected Brazilian jiu-jitsu practitioners of the last couple decades.
03:28:56.000 So all I'm hearing is now good at two things, chess and jiu-jitsu.
03:28:58.000 That's unfair.
03:28:59.000 He's a bad motherfucker, this guy.
03:29:00.000 And he's a chess master.
03:29:02.000 And he's just a brilliant, brilliant guy.
03:29:04.000 And, I mean, but a killer.
03:29:07.000 Like, if he got a hold of you, he'll choke you to death.
03:29:09.000 For sure.
03:29:10.000 But only if I did something to him.
03:29:11.000 Yeah, but I'm saying, if he had to, if he wanted to.
03:29:13.000 I mean, he's not just as genius.
03:29:15.000 He's a genius and a killer.
03:29:17.000 He's smart and he's physical.
03:29:18.000 He wouldn't probably never describe himself that way.
03:29:20.000 He's a martial artist.
03:29:21.000 But his ability, what he can do, his specialty is strangling people.
03:29:26.000 What do you mean?
03:29:27.000 It comes from Marcelo Garcia.
03:29:30.000 Marcelo Garcia is famous for his chokes.
03:29:35.000 He's like a famous strangulation artist.
03:29:38.000 He's had some of the most spectacular highlights in the history of competitive Brazilian Jiu Jitsu just choking guys unconscious.
03:29:45.000 He's an animal.
03:29:46.000 Never killing them, just taking them to the point.
03:29:47.000 No, no, no, no.
03:29:47.000 It matches.
03:29:48.000 Two black belts go at it.
03:29:50.000 You've never seen...
03:29:51.000 We had this conversation last time.
03:29:52.000 Marcelo Garcia versus Shaolin Hibero.
03:29:55.000 This is a perfect one.
03:29:56.000 I've still never seen a UFC match in person.
03:29:59.000 Well, you don't have to see a UFC match, because this is probably something more interesting for you to watch, because no one got hurt.
03:30:03.000 Even though it looks like the guy is dead, he actually is just...
03:30:08.000 The blood stops the brain, and then he lets it go, and the guy is instantaneously back.
03:30:12.000 It's not like a knockout.
03:30:14.000 You don't suffer brain damage.
03:30:15.000 Here's the scramble.
03:30:16.000 Marcello takes his back, and he holds onto the choke, and Shaolin tries to squirm out of it, but he locks in the choke, and now Shaolin's trying to fight gallantly, but he goes to sleep.
03:30:26.000 He's out cold here, and the referee stops it.
03:30:29.000 As soon as they realize, now he's out cold.
03:30:31.000 So Marcello gets off of him and walks away, and Shaolin wakes up just a second later.
03:30:38.000 So he's 100% fine.
03:30:40.000 He's just like, whoa, what happened?
03:30:41.000 He starts talking.
03:30:42.000 It's not like he got knocked out.
03:30:43.000 It's not like he got brain damage.
03:30:45.000 He just got choked unconscious.
03:30:46.000 Like, he'll be instantaneously fine.
03:30:49.000 But Marcelo is just that good.
03:30:50.000 Have you ever been choked out?
03:30:51.000 Never totally out, but I've gotten super close.
03:30:54.000 I've gotten to the elevator door.
03:30:56.000 It's closing in.
03:30:58.000 Is that literally what it feels like?
03:30:59.000 It feels entirely like the walls are closing in.
03:31:02.000 The darkness is coming, and you barely can get out of it.
03:31:05.000 I've gotten to the door.
03:31:07.000 I never went totally asleep.
03:31:10.000 As you're going to the door, you're also smart enough to be like, I'm not dying.
03:31:13.000 I tap.
03:31:14.000 Yeah, you tap.
03:31:15.000 You gotta know when to tap.
03:31:16.000 But do you panic?
03:31:17.000 Like, is there a moment of panic where you're like...
03:31:18.000 Yes.
03:31:18.000 Yes, for sure.
03:31:19.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:31:20.000 Because we saw, like, that dude was like...
03:31:22.000 He was like that fucking goat picked up by the eagle.
03:31:25.000 He was like, fuck!
03:31:25.000 Yeah.
03:31:26.000 Before...
03:31:27.000 It was over, but then he gets up again.
03:31:28.000 Well, the thing about jiu-jitsu, though, is those moments happen a lot.
03:31:31.000 So, like, if you go to a jiu-jitsu class, it's very likely you might get choked out three, four times by one person.
03:31:37.000 Like, if you roll with some guy who's a Brazilian jiu-jitsu black belt and you're, like, a blue belt, pretty likely he's going to get you at least a couple times while you roll with him, unless you're, like, really agile and really good at defending yourself.
03:31:48.000 What are they closing off?
03:31:50.000 Your windpipe?
03:31:51.000 Carotid arteries.
03:31:52.000 Your carotids.
03:31:52.000 They're literally, like...
03:31:54.000 Closing the blood supply to your brain.
03:31:56.000 How dangerous is that?
03:31:57.000 Not.
03:31:58.000 Not.
03:31:58.000 Only if you keep it on.
03:32:00.000 If you keep it clamped on.
03:32:01.000 How long?
03:32:02.000 A minute.
03:32:04.000 Probably kill somebody.
03:32:05.000 That's what I'm saying.
03:32:06.000 You have to be like a surgeon to be like, I got him for 30 and I'm like, no.
03:32:11.000 I would like to find out.
03:32:12.000 Like, how long would you have to hold someone?
03:32:14.000 It'd depend on the person, how healthy they were, how young they were, I'm sure, would have a factor as well.
03:32:20.000 But find out how long would it take if you choked someone out before they died.
03:32:25.000 Someone must...
03:32:26.000 It's got to be there online, right?
03:32:27.000 I don't want to just talk out of my ass.
03:32:28.000 That's a pretty specific Google request that's going to bring the FBI here.
03:32:30.000 Yeah, they're going to come.
03:32:31.000 But what have...
03:32:34.000 If you can do that with a body part, and you've got to get a certain amount of leverage on somebody.
03:32:40.000 Carotid artery sinus reflex death is sometimes considered a mechanism of death, and the case of strangulation remains highly disputed.
03:32:46.000 The reported time from application to unconsciousness varies from 7 to 14 seconds.
03:32:50.000 That's wrong, if effectively applied, to one minute in other cases with death occurring minutes after unconsciousness.
03:32:57.000 So if you held on for a couple minutes, you could choke someone out.
03:33:01.000 How long would you have to choke...
03:33:03.000 To kill, yeah.
03:33:04.000 Is that from a forum, MMA forum?
03:33:07.000 They might not necessarily know.
03:33:10.000 It's on the internet, it must be true, let's read it and believe it.
03:33:13.000 Yeah, forumsbodybuilding.com, Aris Technica, that one is.
03:33:17.000 The thing about it is, they're super wrong right there.
03:33:22.000 When it says varies from 7 to 14 seconds, it doesn't even take a second.
03:33:27.000 What do you mean?
03:33:27.000 You could put someone to sleep in a second.
03:33:30.000 If you hit the right?
03:33:31.000 Yeah, if you just hit it right.
03:33:32.000 If you just hold on to it right.
03:33:33.000 Especially if they're not resisting, like if they're hurt already and they're relaxed, you could just put them to sleep.
03:33:40.000 If someone gets hit first and then they get choked and they don't defend it quickly enough, like if they're out of it and then they get choked, they just go to sleep.
03:33:48.000 Like real quick.
03:33:49.000 Has anybody, nobody's ever been choked to death?
03:33:52.000 No.
03:33:54.000 I'm sure people have been choked to death.
03:33:55.000 Not in the...
03:33:56.000 Just not in the UFC. But I mean, in the real world, like, that was the Eric Garner thing.
03:34:00.000 Well, he had a breathing issue.
03:34:02.000 That was the guy who the police killed in New York.
03:34:05.000 They took...
03:34:05.000 He was selling loose cigarettes in front of a bodega, and they get mad at him.
03:34:08.000 I thought we were still talking...
03:34:10.000 You were.
03:34:10.000 They killed him with a choke.
03:34:11.000 Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, but you were talking in real life, yes.
03:34:13.000 Yeah, but I'm saying you can choke someone to death, but I don't think they...
03:34:16.000 I think he died more as a...
03:34:18.000 He wasn't physically very well.
03:34:20.000 About three minutes is about the most your brain can last without air.
03:34:23.000 Three minutes without air.
03:34:24.000 Yeah.
03:34:26.000 Man.
03:34:28.000 That's crazy.
03:34:29.000 So that would never...
03:34:31.000 Basically, he could have you for three seconds, you'd be passed out, and then they'd let you go.
03:34:36.000 Yeah.
03:34:37.000 In a jiu-jitsu match, yeah, they would just let you go.
03:34:39.000 And in class.
03:34:40.000 Sometimes people forget to tap in class, so they don't tap quick enough and they go to sleep.
03:34:44.000 See, I like the things you do, but I have zero interest in doing them myself.
03:34:47.000 Like, they don't seem appealing to me.
03:34:49.000 Like, every time I look at those pictures, I'm like, fuck, man, he's living a cool life.
03:34:52.000 But I'm like, I couldn't do that.
03:34:54.000 I couldn't do any one of these things.
03:34:55.000 You certainly could.
03:34:56.000 You certainly could do everything that I do.
03:34:59.000 Admire and envy someone's freedom in life and still not want to do it yourself.
03:35:04.000 Generally speaking, when you look at somebody and be like, I wish I was like that, you want to do the things they do or be the person they are.
03:35:10.000 But instead, I can look at you and appreciate what you do and who you are and never once be like, yeah, that's what I'm going to do.
03:35:16.000 I couldn't.
03:35:19.000 You're far too much of a man.
03:35:21.000 You're such a dude.
03:35:23.000 And not a dude like you're a bro.
03:35:25.000 But you are like...
03:35:26.000 It makes sense you're somebody's dad.
03:35:28.000 You know what I'm saying?
03:35:29.000 You are...
03:35:30.000 When I think of a man, that's what I think of.
03:35:33.000 And I don't mean this to sound like...
03:35:34.000 You're too complimentary.
03:35:35.000 I'm going to have a big head when I leave here today.
03:35:36.000 I'm telling you, dude.
03:35:37.000 I have problems in life now.
03:35:38.000 I loved my dad, but I think you would be a cool dad.
03:35:41.000 That's very nice.
03:35:42.000 Thank you.
03:35:42.000 Your kids have a...
03:35:44.000 Wonderful lifetime ahead of them.
03:35:45.000 Have had, like, great experience thus far, it seems like.
03:35:48.000 But for the rest of their lives, they're being raised by a thinking masculine man-man.
03:35:53.000 Like, my kid will never have that, ever, in her life.
03:35:57.000 Would you want to be different than you are, though?
03:35:59.000 No.
03:35:59.000 You seem super content with who you are.
03:36:01.000 Yeah, I mean, the way I look at it is just like...
03:36:03.000 Everyone's dealt the cards, right?
03:36:05.000 And you can improve some things in life, but when we were young, they'd be like, that's your cross to bear.
03:36:12.000 When I was a kid, I was always having my mom be like, well, that's your cross to bear.
03:36:16.000 As if it was genetic.
03:36:19.000 She could have said, hey, let's get you working out and maybe feed you less or whatever.
03:36:23.000 She's like, that's just your cross to bear.
03:36:25.000 But the rest of your life is blessed and stuff like that.
03:36:28.000 She probably just didn't.
03:36:29.000 I mean, a lot of people say things like that because that's what someone told them and they never stopped to think about it.
03:36:33.000 Oh, her mother definitely told her that's your cross to bear or something that was just kind of passed down and shit.
03:36:39.000 My mom is a wonderful woman.
03:36:40.000 I just spent, you know, she's getting old and stuff.
03:36:43.000 I took her to see Dolly Parton in Tampa.
03:36:46.000 And Dolly Parton I've seen three times in two months, man.
03:36:49.000 She smells like cotton candy.
03:36:53.000 And baby powder in real life.
03:36:54.000 Dolly Parton does?
03:36:55.000 Dude, I know.
03:36:56.000 Here, let me try to hit...
03:36:57.000 You always hit me to cool shit.
03:36:59.000 Dolly Parton is 70 years old.
03:37:01.000 She did a three-hour fucking show.
03:37:03.000 She didn't sit in one place.
03:37:04.000 She moved all over the stage.
03:37:05.000 She played piano, guitar, banjo, flute, and then at one point she blew a saxophone, which sounds dirty as I meant it.
03:37:11.000 Now, she didn't just blow a saxophone like I had a few notes.
03:37:14.000 She played yakety-sack, which is like yakety-sack.
03:37:19.000 That requires some fucking lung power.
03:37:21.000 She's 70 years old.
03:37:23.000 I took my 70-year-old mother to see her and like...
03:37:26.000 Mom's got a cane and we had to get a people mover and stuff like that.
03:37:30.000 It's crazy, man.
03:37:32.000 So I took Mom to go see Dolly Parton.
03:37:36.000 My mother, God love her, she's amazing.
03:37:38.000 One of my favorite people in the world.
03:37:39.000 But she's like, Tiger, you finally made it.
03:37:42.000 And I was like, why?
03:37:43.000 And she's like, because we got to meet Dolly Parton.
03:37:46.000 I was like, mom, you could have met Dolly Parton any old time in life.
03:37:49.000 That's not a sign of prosperity or success or something like that.
03:37:54.000 That happened back on Clerks or something.
03:37:55.000 But those days when Dolly Parton was on TV, there was only like three channels.
03:37:59.000 Yeah.
03:38:00.000 Dude, she fills arenas.
03:38:02.000 Like, it's crazy.
03:38:02.000 Dude, I can imagine.
03:38:03.000 This is massive.
03:38:04.000 And just watching somebody...
03:38:06.000 Like, you know, I saw her when I went up to Vancouver to shoot an episode of The Flash.
03:38:11.000 I went, and I was like, holy shit.
03:38:12.000 And there's a part of me, of course, I'm not a big country guy, but my old man loved country and western.
03:38:18.000 Even though we came from New Jersey, and we weren't even from, like, southern Jersey.
03:38:20.000 We were from central Jersey.
03:38:21.000 He loved country and western.
03:38:24.000 I hated it growing up.
03:38:25.000 And he's now dead for, like, 12, 13 years.
03:38:27.000 And naturally, the older one gets...
03:38:29.000 You hear that music, it takes you not to the present, but right back to your childhood.
03:38:33.000 So lately, even though I've never been a country person, I find more country leaking into my life and it has everything to do with my father or something like that.
03:38:40.000 So I went to see this show and it was like, I might as well have taken my dad with me.
03:38:44.000 He's been dead so long, but like...
03:38:46.000 That was his dream show.
03:38:48.000 He loved Dolly Parton.
03:38:49.000 He's a big country music fan in general, but he loved Dolly Parton.
03:38:52.000 So I went to see the show the first time because I was like, I got nothing to do.
03:38:54.000 Let's go.
03:38:55.000 And then I was blown away by her showmanship.
03:38:57.000 And a storyteller as well.
03:38:58.000 She doesn't just sit there and play the music between songs.
03:39:00.000 She'll sit there and tell you a story about growing up in the Rocky Mountains.
03:39:03.000 She's fucking funny, dude.
03:39:04.000 I know she's got patterns she's probably been doing for years, but she talks about...
03:39:07.000 She's like, when I was a little girl, we went into town and they grew up fucking poor and she's one of 13 children or something like that.
03:39:14.000 And she's like, I saw this woman, this beautiful woman.
03:39:18.000 And, you know, she was painted like an angel.
03:39:20.000 And she had pretty clothes and real big pretty hair.
03:39:23.000 She's wearing heels and a lot of makeup.
03:39:25.000 And I said, Mom, who's that?
03:39:27.000 And her mom's like, that's the town trope.
03:39:30.000 That girl is nothing but trash.
03:39:31.000 And she goes, and I said, that's what I want to be when I grow up.
03:39:34.000 So that's why she's got the look she's got.
03:39:37.000 She's like, it costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
03:39:40.000 That's hilarious.
03:39:41.000 I'm telling you, dude.
03:39:42.000 That's a good line.
03:39:45.000 Even if you're not a Dolly Parton fan, what a true night of entertainment.
03:39:50.000 When was the last time you saw her?
03:39:51.000 I saw her last weekend.
03:39:52.000 I took Mom to see her in Tampa.
03:39:54.000 And you've seen her three times?
03:39:56.000 I saw her at the Hollywood Bowl a month ago, and then I took Mom to see her in Tampa.
03:40:01.000 And that was more like, hey, Dad would love this.
03:40:04.000 But she had this weird moment where she met Dolly and you're talking about two 70-year-old women.
03:40:10.000 And my mom went in for a fucking kiss.
03:40:13.000 Not like, I want to French you, but just like the way you would kiss a friend.
03:40:16.000 And then you could see Dolly, who's had to politically maneuver strangers for 50 years or so, figure out, do I say, hey, I don't kiss strangers, or do I just hug her?
03:40:27.000 On the lips?
03:40:27.000 We going for the lips?
03:40:28.000 I don't know what she was going for.
03:40:29.000 It was awkward, dude.
03:40:30.000 There was a moment where they were sparring.
03:40:32.000 And then finally, they hugged.
03:40:34.000 And, you know, she was like, my husband loved your music and shit.
03:40:37.000 It was really fucking beautiful to see.
03:40:39.000 Wow.
03:40:39.000 But Mom, I love Mom to death, but Mom is like...
03:40:43.000 Everybody's mother is a very singular individual, but mom had this thing I was trying to figure out.
03:40:47.000 I was like, when did this person die?
03:40:49.000 I think we were talking about my Aunt Barbara.
03:40:50.000 I was like, when did Aunt Barbara die?
03:40:51.000 And my mom's like, oh, hold on.
03:40:53.000 And she had this thing when we were kids.
03:40:55.000 She'd get a calendar from church and she wouldn't write on it your birthday or a relative's birthday.
03:41:01.000 She'd write the day that they died.
03:41:03.000 So this day was the day Uncle Andy died.
03:41:04.000 This day Aunt Connie died.
03:41:06.000 So my mom keeps all that information.
03:41:09.000 So she goes, hold on.
03:41:10.000 She comes out with a box of Like funeral mass cards.
03:41:13.000 Like when somebody dies, you go to a funeral, there's a little trading card that has a picture of a saint and on the back has a person's name and when they were born and when they were dead.
03:41:21.000 My mom has like a collection, the way you would collect baseball cards and shit.
03:41:24.000 And we spread them all out on the table.
03:41:26.000 There's 12 significant deaths in our family.
03:41:28.000 She had lots more, but the ones that would matter to both me and her in our immediate zone of family.
03:41:35.000 And between 12 deaths, I was able to quiz my mother, like, who died in 1980?
03:41:40.000 And she was like, oh, that was Grandpa Smith.
03:41:42.000 Like, she is, my mom's obsessed with death, but not in a, like, death is metal.
03:41:46.000 When she was a child in Catholic school, they tried to explain hell to her, you know, like, as you do in Catholic school.
03:41:53.000 And she was fucking far too young to get the idea, so death has been her obsession her whole life.
03:41:58.000 Staving it off.
03:41:59.000 Stopping it from like taking not just her her but her family you know she lost her husband to it we all death is just a natural part of the process you're freaking me out man my mom finds it like she's terrified by it now I as a creative person and I wonder if you feel the same way and I fancy myself a creative person some people like you're not very creative but I fancy myself a creative person no caveats death To me,
03:42:22.000 it's not scary as much as a repugnant idea, where you're like, what?
03:42:27.000 Stop all this?
03:42:29.000 I'm just getting the hang of it.
03:42:31.000 I'm just learning.
03:42:32.000 I've got so many more jokes to tell and shit like that.
03:42:35.000 Death to people who make stuff like us, and that's why you might be the exception, because you deal with death on a regular basis with hunting and shit like that.
03:42:45.000 It's just something that probably enters your purview far more than mine.
03:42:49.000 But it is one of those things, man, where you're like, wow, I hadn't really thought about that too often.
03:42:54.000 But she thinks about it often.
03:42:56.000 When I think of death, I'm irritated by it because it's unfair.
03:43:00.000 Like, why?
03:43:01.000 But I imagine if I was my grandmother.
03:43:03.000 My grandmother lost her sight 12, 14 years before she died.
03:43:07.000 And I loved hanging out with her.
03:43:09.000 I used to play cards with her and shit like that.
03:43:10.000 And then when she lost her sight, she was no longer interested in living.
03:43:14.000 So she would sit around and be like, how are you, Graham?
03:43:16.000 You go visit her.
03:43:17.000 She'd be sitting in the dark and shit.
03:43:18.000 Listen to her radio, maybe.
03:43:19.000 No longer crocheting like she used to do.
03:43:21.000 We used to play cards.
03:43:22.000 She couldn't do any of that shit.
03:43:23.000 So she just sat there.
03:43:24.000 And he'd be like, how are you?
03:43:25.000 And she'd be like, well...
03:43:27.000 I asked him to take me and he said he didn't answer, still not today.
03:43:31.000 And I was like, who, Graham?
03:43:31.000 She's like, Jesus.
03:43:33.000 Every day I pray that he finally take me and I'm still here.
03:43:36.000 She slowly grew to be bitter about life and shit.
03:43:40.000 Now, from where I sit right now, I'm the guy that's like, I never want this party to end.
03:43:44.000 Oh, shit.
03:43:45.000 But I guess there could be a time in my life where, you know, everyone you know and love has passed and you just get to a place where you're like, you know what, I'm okay.
03:43:54.000 Like, who was it?
03:43:56.000 The singer that just passed was the guy that sang Hallelujah.
03:44:04.000 Leonard Cohen.
03:44:04.000 I was going to say Lawrence Cohen.
03:44:05.000 Leonard Cohen did an interview before he passed, like five months, five weeks maybe before he passed, where he was like, yeah, I'm ready for death.
03:44:13.000 He's going, I've pretty much done everything I've wanted to do, and I'm ready for it.
03:44:17.000 And he went fairly shortly thereafter.
03:44:19.000 Grandma didn't, man.
03:44:20.000 She hung on for a while, but wanted to die.
03:44:23.000 I hope I'm never that person.
03:44:25.000 But, you know, what if I'm...
03:44:27.000 Something happens to me and I can't move or something.
03:44:29.000 It's like that movie Johnny Got His Gun and shit.
03:44:32.000 You started really taking care of your health.
03:44:35.000 Yeah.
03:44:36.000 A little bit late in life.
03:44:37.000 Just because I was like, oh shit.
03:44:39.000 I come from diabetic people.
03:44:40.000 My dad and all his brothers and sisters are very diabetic.
03:44:44.000 I've played for my whole life as if that wasn't a factor.
03:44:47.000 I never ate vegetables and shit.
03:44:49.000 I always ate packaged food.
03:44:50.000 So I saw that movie Fed Up and that turned it around for me.
03:44:54.000 I lost a bunch of weight because I stopped...
03:44:57.000 Yeah.
03:45:10.000 Yeah.
03:45:16.000 And fucking flour and vegetables, I guess it's okay for us.
03:45:20.000 It's one of those things where it's taken me a long time to accept the fact that sugar, as much as I love it, for me it's a poison.
03:45:26.000 It's like booze for an alcoholic.
03:45:30.000 I can't stop.
03:45:31.000 I dropped sugar on my life, lost 70 fucking pounds.
03:45:34.000 Then I let sugar creep back in.
03:45:37.000 Slowly 20 came back.
03:45:39.000 So now I've gotten rid of 10 of it.
03:45:40.000 I got another 10 to get back to where I fucking was.
03:45:43.000 And I remember being free of sugar and being like, what a fucking asshole I was.
03:45:48.000 How'd you get back into it?
03:45:49.000 It's a slippery slope, man.
03:45:51.000 Candy bar?
03:45:51.000 Yeah, a piece of chocolate.
03:45:53.000 It starts with a piece of chocolate where you're like, milk chocolate, man.
03:45:55.000 I love milk chocolate.
03:45:56.000 I can handle this.
03:45:57.000 And then, when I was working on the shows in Canada, donuts.
03:46:01.000 Because they got Tim Hortons everywhere.
03:46:03.000 Throw a rock and there's a Tim Hortons.
03:46:05.000 I got those Timbits, which are like Dunkin' Donuts munchkins, little donut holes.
03:46:08.000 I like those Boston cream jammies.
03:46:10.000 Dude, I love when they take a donut.
03:46:12.000 Chocolate on top and the cream inside.
03:46:14.000 Shove jelly in that shit.
03:46:15.000 That's my religion.
03:46:16.000 Oh, I like a jelly donut, too.
03:46:18.000 Powdered sugar.
03:46:19.000 Oh, my God.
03:46:20.000 Oh, my goodness.
03:46:21.000 Don't do it to me.
03:46:22.000 Just so soft, too.
03:46:23.000 I learned that I had to...
03:46:24.000 I had to cut it out.
03:46:25.000 I had to put sugar away entirely.
03:46:27.000 So I stopped eating anything processed or added sugar.
03:46:30.000 No sugar whatsoever.
03:46:31.000 Natural sugar, like the closest sugar I get is out of drinking milk or beets.
03:46:36.000 I know.
03:46:36.000 I started drinking vegetable drink, though.
03:46:38.000 Something I never did.
03:46:38.000 Vegetable juice.
03:46:39.000 Oh, I'm a big fan of cold-pressed juices.
03:46:42.000 That's what I've been doing.
03:46:43.000 I put a full bead into it.
03:46:44.000 There's a lot of those stores, too.
03:46:45.000 You can go and stop in and get them.
03:46:47.000 Get them pre-done.
03:46:47.000 You can find out online if there's a store near you.
03:46:51.000 For me, I've got a bunch of them that I stop at.
03:46:53.000 Because you can always go and get something to drink that's really nutritious.
03:46:57.000 And fucking powers you, dude.
03:46:58.000 I mean, it's no secret or anything, but here's a tip.
03:47:02.000 Before I got to do anything, it requires a lot of energy or something.
03:47:04.000 Like if I was going to go on The Talking Dead or if I was going to fucking go to the movie set or make something to do a show.
03:47:11.000 I get me a fucking, a big vegetable drink, basically I get one whole beet, eight fistfuls of spinach, half a carrot, half a...
03:47:21.000 I stopped doing so much apple because there's a lot of sugar in it.
03:47:23.000 So about a quarter apple, big nub of ginger, shit just burned my insides out.
03:47:29.000 Kids in 1920 were playing on scaffolding and we're scared of sugar from an apple.
03:47:33.000 We're such pussies.
03:47:35.000 We've become such pussies, America.
03:47:36.000 I never was until now.
03:47:37.000 Now I'm like, I can't have the extra sugar.
03:47:39.000 So I make that, dude.
03:47:40.000 I drink that.
03:47:41.000 And that gives me, like, beets.
03:47:44.000 Pure fucking natural sugar.
03:47:46.000 So you're like, hey!
03:47:47.000 Beets are amazing.
03:47:48.000 It's like, I've never done Coke, but I imagine it's like what doing a line of Coke is.
03:47:51.000 I really don't think it's anything like that.
03:47:54.000 Eating beets is like doing coke.
03:47:56.000 Beets make me feel like, well, not just beets, but like a good, robust vegetable juice.
03:48:02.000 You feel like, ooh, I can get a little, you know?
03:48:06.000 That's one of the things I like about your Instagram feed.
03:48:07.000 You put a lot of food in there, and you talk about what it does for you, and you're like, look at this shit.
03:48:12.000 This is fucking natural, and I'm getting all this out of it.
03:48:14.000 It's food porn.
03:48:16.000 Yeah.
03:48:16.000 People get mad, though, because it gets repetitive.
03:48:18.000 I get it.
03:48:19.000 What do you mean?
03:48:19.000 It gets repetitive.
03:48:20.000 Oh, what are you, cooking elk again, you fucking faggot?
03:48:23.000 You know?
03:48:24.000 That's what you get?
03:48:25.000 Do you then stop and be like, did you ever realize you're hurtling through space on a fucking rock?
03:48:29.000 Anything could happen?
03:48:29.000 No, man.
03:48:30.000 I just think that.
03:48:30.000 I think it.
03:48:31.000 I don't bother saying it.
03:48:32.000 But, yeah, I get it.
03:48:34.000 But people are always looking for things to criticize.
03:48:36.000 They like criticizing.
03:48:37.000 It's fun.
03:48:38.000 If you're eating elk again, it's not a one-time experience where you're like, I've eaten elk when I was 14, and of course, that's when a man eats elk and never again.
03:48:48.000 So they got to expect you might redo a meal.
03:48:50.000 If I give you something, will you cook it?
03:48:52.000 What kind of meat is it?
03:48:53.000 Elk.
03:48:54.000 Yeah, how do you cook it?
03:48:55.000 I'll teach you.
03:48:56.000 I'll show you how.
03:48:56.000 Put it on a barbecue grill?
03:48:57.000 I'll give you some real simple.
03:48:58.000 I'll give you elk burger.
03:48:59.000 You kill this thing?
03:49:00.000 Yeah.
03:49:00.000 I'll give you elk burger.
03:49:01.000 That's the simplest.
03:49:02.000 You can make the cheeseburgers out of it.
03:49:04.000 You just got to treat it.
03:49:05.000 What does it taste like?
03:49:05.000 It tastes really good.
03:49:07.000 It's super healthy for you.
03:49:08.000 Because, I mean, no hormones, no antibiotics, no nothing.
03:49:11.000 It's just wild elk meat.
03:49:13.000 It's very lean.
03:49:14.000 And if you cook it like as a cheeseburger, you have to kind of cook it pretty quick because it doesn't have much fat in it at all.
03:49:21.000 Oh, really?
03:49:21.000 It's really lean protein.
03:49:23.000 Very high protein content.
03:49:24.000 So cook it quick meaning like it's going to burn fast because there's not a lot of fat.
03:49:28.000 Yeah, just don't cook it maybe as long as you would like a real fatty beef burger.
03:49:32.000 You know, just cook it a little less time.
03:49:34.000 I think the last time we talked, we talked about that.
03:49:37.000 The idea of, you'll go out hunting, but you eat what you bring back or whatever.
03:49:41.000 Yeah, I eat everything.
03:49:44.000 Remember Mark Zuckerberg that one year was like, I'm only going to eat, should I kill?
03:49:48.000 And for a minute we were all like, that's savage.
03:49:51.000 And then afterwards we were like, oh, I see.
03:49:53.000 I'm not doing anything we're all doing if we eat meat.
03:49:56.000 That's my point.
03:49:57.000 If you're buying...
03:50:01.000 Food from a store or restaurant you're killing it.
03:50:04.000 You're just killing it with a card a credit card or a checkbook or If you're eating meat you're killing things.
03:50:09.000 Yeah, you know you might not be doing it yourself, but My whole take is that if an animal's wild, in that wild animal, you kill it.
03:50:17.000 That thing was wild.
03:50:21.000 Whether you ever existed or not, that thing did exactly what it did.
03:50:25.000 That's the pure life for one of those animals.
03:50:26.000 And you're saying, well, why would you want to hunt it down and kill it?
03:50:29.000 Something's going to.
03:50:30.000 This is what you don't understand.
03:50:31.000 These things are not going to live forever.
03:50:33.000 They have a very short and brutal life, and they usually get taken down by coyotes or mountain lions or...
03:50:38.000 I mean, when a person comes in and shoots a deer, that is the best death it's ever going to die.
03:50:44.000 If a person doesn't do it, that thing's going to freeze to death.
03:50:47.000 Isn't this the thing with a deer just like, you know, I died in my bed at age 80?
03:50:49.000 No, they freeze to death.
03:50:50.000 Surrounded by my loved ones.
03:50:51.000 They freeze to death.
03:50:52.000 They get hit by cars.
03:50:54.000 Can I make this more clear?
03:50:56.000 They fucking freeze to death.
03:50:57.000 Yeah, they don't live.
03:50:58.000 They don't live very long.
03:50:59.000 If a deer lives to be like seven, that is an old fucking deer.
03:51:03.000 Really?
03:51:04.000 Oh, yeah.
03:51:05.000 So, if people are upset with you eating any kind of animals at all, they're not going to understand why you would be upset at hunting.
03:51:11.000 My kid is total vegan.
03:51:14.000 Great kid about it though.
03:51:15.000 She's not like, you know, judging me as I sit there and eat meat and shit.
03:51:18.000 But she's, you know, her thing is like, she fucking loves animals.
03:51:22.000 What does she do to supplement like her essential fatty acids and vitamin B12? That's a great question.
03:51:27.000 Because the diet I've seen for a vegan, now I've been around it quite a bit, is insanely limited.
03:51:32.000 Yeah.
03:51:33.000 Like when I pull sugar out of my diet, suddenly you're down to fucking 20 things because everything's got fucking sugar added to it.
03:51:42.000 When you go vegan, and not just vegetarian, I mean fucking straight up vegan...
03:51:47.000 There's like, you know, everything green and maybe three other things in the world.
03:51:52.000 Like, you can't even eat a bagel without being like, did you use this or this or this in it or something like that.
03:51:58.000 You can't have eggs, which is really unfortunate because eggs are never going to be a living thing.
03:52:03.000 That's what people don't understand.
03:52:04.000 I can understand if you're against factory farming, but I think that's a different story.
03:52:08.000 My chickens are pretty free-range.
03:52:11.000 They live in a big coop, and I know a lot of people don't have room for a coop.
03:52:14.000 I'm not saying you need to do it, but what I'm saying is you can have chickens that exist in some sort of a natural environment.
03:52:20.000 It's not entirely difficult, and they give you eggs.
03:52:23.000 You don't have to worry at all about anything bad happening.
03:52:27.000 This is just a natural product of being a chicken.
03:52:29.000 They lay one on their own.
03:52:30.000 It's not fertilized.
03:52:32.000 No one's going to eat it.
03:52:33.000 Not every egg becomes a chicken.
03:52:34.000 No, no, no, no.
03:52:35.000 They have to get fucked.
03:52:36.000 The rooster has to come along and sling that dick.
03:52:39.000 That's what makes a chicken.
03:52:40.000 Yeah, so if there's no rooster, then the chicken...
03:52:42.000 I didn't know that, dude.
03:52:43.000 I didn't know that until I was like fucking 39 years old.
03:52:46.000 Me too.
03:52:47.000 I think you told me last time a version of this.
03:52:50.000 I'm a repetitive motherfucker.
03:52:51.000 I will repeat shit.
03:52:52.000 Don't matter, dude.
03:52:52.000 I like reading that you eat elk more than once.
03:52:55.000 Wait, so it's kind of like a chicken's period?
03:52:59.000 Yeah.
03:53:00.000 Yes.
03:53:00.000 As a matter of fact, PETA developed a whole campaign to try to get people to stop eating chicken eggs by calling it a menstrual cycle and also showing a fucking frying pan with a bloody maxi pad sitting in the frying pan.
03:53:17.000 I don't know if that's very effective.
03:53:19.000 Dude.
03:53:19.000 I mean, it would gross me out, turn me off, but I'd be like- Pull it up, pull it up so he doesn't think I'm kidding.
03:53:23.000 I never want to eat a tampon again.
03:53:24.000 It's foul.
03:53:25.000 It's foul that they chose to do this.
03:53:27.000 My kid doesn't get like shitty or political about it or like, you know, in your face or you got to live my way and stuff.
03:53:33.000 But every once in a while it slips out.
03:53:35.000 I'm a big milk drinker.
03:53:36.000 And so, you know, she's, her whole thing is not your mom, not your milk.
03:53:42.000 And I was like, what do you mean?
03:53:43.000 And she's like, well, that's not your mother.
03:53:45.000 If you want milk, you should get it from your mother.
03:53:47.000 You took some of the baby cows.
03:53:49.000 And I'm like, oh, come on.
03:53:50.000 Don't do this to me, kid.
03:53:51.000 I was like, they raised us to believe in milk.
03:53:53.000 I watched a lot of commercials.
03:53:54.000 Milk does a body good.
03:53:55.000 They taught me that on television.
03:53:57.000 Don't tell me that I'm taking milk from a baby cow.
03:54:00.000 She's kind of right, though, right?
03:54:02.000 Yeah.
03:54:03.000 Were you down on milk?
03:54:04.000 Every time I talk about milk...
03:54:06.000 People put up a little meme, there's a picture of you talking on stage, and they put up a bit of your routine we talked about right before the show.
03:54:11.000 Oh, that vegan comment?
03:54:13.000 Yeah, where you're like, they say, vegans say, you know, we're the only species, go ahead, do it, cheers.
03:54:17.000 We're the only species that drinks the milk of other animals.
03:54:21.000 I'm like, you know what else only humans do?
03:54:24.000 Fly planes, make movies.
03:54:26.000 Call each other and tell each other how awesome milk is.
03:54:31.000 So you do like milk.
03:54:31.000 Yeah, here it is.
03:54:32.000 Eggs come from chicken menstruation.
03:54:33.000 Look at that.
03:54:34.000 It was a bloody underwear.
03:54:35.000 I'm sorry.
03:54:36.000 I thought it was a maxi pad.
03:54:37.000 But that's a real PETA ad.
03:54:39.000 They put a bloody pair of women's underwear in a frying pan.
03:54:42.000 Oh, my God.
03:54:42.000 The tagline is, don't eat eggs, period.
03:54:45.000 And period is in red.
03:54:46.000 Wow.
03:54:47.000 It's like, come on.
03:54:49.000 What's gross is factory farming.
03:54:52.000 That's what's gross.
03:54:53.000 What's gross is having all these chickens packed and stacked into these horrific cages and warehouses.
03:55:00.000 That's what's gross.
03:55:01.000 What's not gross is a chicken living in a chicken house that occasionally lays an egg, and when they lay an egg, then they just wander off, and they just wander around the yard and peck at grass and do chicken stuff.
03:55:14.000 If a chicken is living in a healthy environment, they're not even scared of you.
03:55:18.000 Like, I go near my chickens all the time.
03:55:19.000 I can pick some of them up.
03:55:21.000 Some of them don't fuck with it.
03:55:22.000 They won't let you pick them up.
03:55:23.000 What do they do if you try to pick them up?
03:55:25.000 You have to chase them.
03:55:26.000 They don't try to go after you, but they don't want to be picked up.
03:55:28.000 But some of them will just stay there, and you pick them up, and you pet them, and my girls will hold on to them.
03:55:32.000 They all have their own little personalities.
03:55:35.000 Are they dirty?
03:55:35.000 No, surprisingly, they don't feel dirty.
03:55:38.000 You know, they take dust baths, though.
03:55:40.000 But their feathers, I think, can brush off a lot of things, you know?
03:55:45.000 I think they keep themselves fairly clean just by whatever the composition of their feathers are.
03:55:49.000 They're interesting little animals, man.
03:55:51.000 You eat the eggs.
03:55:51.000 Do you eat the chickens as well?
03:55:53.000 No, I don't eat the chickens, no.
03:55:54.000 That just feels fucked up.
03:55:56.000 I agree.
03:55:57.000 Do you eat chicken in general?
03:56:00.000 Yes, I do.
03:56:01.000 But just not those chickens.
03:56:02.000 I just don't eat those chickens.
03:56:03.000 So it's like Animal Farm.
03:56:04.000 Some chickens are more equal than others.
03:56:05.000 Yeah, these chickens get a pass.
03:56:08.000 They're within my control.
03:56:10.000 Do you ever eat chicken in front of them?
03:56:11.000 Not in a shitty way, but hey, it's chicken tonight.
03:56:14.000 Oh, dude, we kill the chickens in front of them.
03:56:15.000 We put them on a fire in front of them.
03:56:17.000 We set the fire up in front of the chicken coop to let them know.
03:56:19.000 Wait, what chicken do you kill in front of them?
03:56:20.000 I'm kidding.
03:56:20.000 Oh, holy shit.
03:56:21.000 I was like, oh my god, the cool team.
03:56:23.000 You're like, look at this shit!
03:56:24.000 That was what Vlad the Impaler used to do.
03:56:27.000 Vlad the Impaler that Mary Shelley based, not Mary Shelley, Mary Shelley was Bram Stoker.
03:56:32.000 Bram Stoker based Dracula on.
03:56:34.000 That Vlad the Impaler guy would eat people in front of other people.
03:56:40.000 Why?
03:56:40.000 That crazy killer lady made me look up earlier.
03:56:42.000 She made one of her victims cook and eat themself.
03:56:47.000 Cook and eat herself?
03:56:48.000 Yeah.
03:56:49.000 Herself.
03:56:49.000 A little girl, I think is what it said.
03:56:51.000 Oh my god.
03:56:51.000 She was a monster.
03:56:52.000 How do you cook and eat yourself?
03:56:55.000 To make someone cut a piece off of their body.
03:56:57.000 Oh, fuck.
03:56:57.000 That was what Vlad did that as well.
03:57:00.000 He also put people on stakes in front of his house, and he would eat lunch while he was watching them slowly rither.
03:57:07.000 It's like when someone has a stake through their body, it doesn't kill them right away.
03:57:11.000 They can punch you with a stake.
03:57:13.000 And the stake, as long as they put it through the right spot, although you have massive internal bleeding, the stake kind of keeps it all in there.
03:57:20.000 Staunches the wounds.
03:57:21.000 Yeah, it's all stretched out, and your body is kind of like...
03:57:25.000 If they stick it in you the right way, it takes a while to die.
03:57:28.000 It could take hours.
03:57:30.000 So they're sticking this literally through your asshole and out through your back.
03:57:35.000 That's how I went in?
03:57:36.000 I never really thought about it.
03:57:37.000 Or through your center.
03:57:38.000 I mean, they could do it a bunch of different ways.
03:57:39.000 God, they never show you that in any of those Dracula movies.
03:57:43.000 Put that asshole, put the steak right through his asshole.
03:57:45.000 Now stand it up.
03:57:46.000 I mean, maybe they go through a lung.
03:57:48.000 Maybe they go through one side and go through a lung.
03:57:51.000 But either way, there's ways they can do it where they would put you through steaks where it would take a long time for you to die.
03:57:56.000 So these people would all be moaning on steaks.
03:57:59.000 These steaks are probably going in dry too, right?
03:58:00.000 Oh yeah, they don't lube that shit up at all.
03:58:03.000 And these people were mowing to death.
03:58:05.000 You're going to die on a steak going through your asshole first then up through your body.
03:58:08.000 But the good news...
03:58:09.000 We have some lidocaine.
03:58:11.000 It's pretty slippery.
03:58:12.000 We're going to spray the outside before he stab you with this fucking gigantic steak.
03:58:16.000 Oh, God, man.
03:58:18.000 That's tough to...
03:58:19.000 Well, this is a real human.
03:58:20.000 I mean, that was a real human that really did live.
03:58:22.000 Yeah, look at this.
03:58:23.000 This is the ancient pictures.
03:58:25.000 I mean, these are from a long fucking time ago, these images.
03:58:29.000 Some woodcuts.
03:58:30.000 Yeah.
03:58:31.000 Yeah, he's just like right on.
03:58:32.000 And he's sitting there eating while all these people are on steaks in front of him.
03:58:35.000 And of course, you know, you have to sort of process like how much of that was myth, how much of that was folklore, how much of it was real.
03:58:42.000 What was the point of all this?
03:58:44.000 Is that him there too?
03:58:45.000 Yeah, it's just a drawing.
03:58:45.000 What was the point?
03:58:47.000 Well, he just wanted to make sure that everybody knew he was a bad motherfucker.
03:58:51.000 It wasn't like, I want to live forever.
03:58:53.000 Well, he became...
03:58:55.000 It's so hard.
03:58:57.000 Whenever you're talking about people and you definitively describe who they were and what they were and you know how...
03:59:03.000 History just gets so twisted and distorted, especially back when there was no videotapes and no, you know, they weren't even writing things down.
03:59:09.000 We were literally looking at drawings going like, wow.
03:59:11.000 Yeah.
03:59:11.000 I mean, how many of those people were even writing things down?
03:59:13.000 How many of those people could even read back then?
03:59:15.000 How many of those people actually saw that?
03:59:16.000 It was probably passed down.
03:59:17.000 Like, I was in this village and I saw a bunch of people on sticks and like, I'm going to draw that.
03:59:20.000 Like, what year was that, Vlad the Impaler?
03:59:25.000 1448 to 1476. Yeah.
03:59:27.000 Somewhere in there.
03:59:28.000 Good luck.
03:59:29.000 Yeah.
03:59:29.000 1,400?
03:59:30.000 Good luck.
03:59:31.000 Good luck saying exactly what that guy said, or exactly what that guy did.
03:59:35.000 Good luck.
03:59:36.000 We can't even decide how many illegal voters kept our darling Donald Trump from the popular vote.
03:59:42.000 I think my biggest takeaway from the day are the little people.
03:59:45.000 That was weird, right?
03:59:47.000 I had no idea.
03:59:48.000 I mean, I know there have been like, well, I thought there were pygmies and stuff like that, but that's like...
03:59:54.000 That's a totally different level.
03:59:55.000 Completely different species of...
03:59:56.000 Yeah.
03:59:57.000 Smaller brains.
03:59:58.000 Smaller, like chimp-sized brains.
04:00:00.000 So it's not a human being?
04:00:01.000 There's some better pictures of them.
04:00:02.000 Not a homo sapien?
04:00:02.000 Homo floriensis, I think it's called.
04:00:05.000 There's a few better images of them where they recreated what they think it looked like.
04:00:09.000 Look at some of these pictures, man.
04:00:11.000 It literally looks like, you know, an innocent version of what they would show you as a troll in storybooks and old pictures.
04:00:17.000 Look at that one right there, the one that you just passed, Jamie, on the top row with the spear and the animal on his shoulder.
04:00:22.000 Look at that.
04:00:23.000 I think if you go full image, there's a full image, see over there?
04:00:26.000 You can see what it looked like?
04:00:27.000 Yeah.
04:00:27.000 See, that's what they believe these things looked like.
04:00:29.000 Like sort of semi-chimp-like humans that were three feet tall, but they had tools.
04:00:35.000 What do you think the discussion was on, like, do we give them a dick?
04:00:38.000 They're like, yeah, everything's got a dick.
04:00:39.000 Not everything's got a dick, but some things have a dick.
04:00:41.000 Put a dick on it.
04:00:42.000 It's like, come on.
04:00:43.000 It's going to distract from everything else.
04:00:44.000 His dick's in the shadow.
04:00:47.000 They're like, put a dick on it, but don't make it look too big.
04:00:49.000 His dick is wrapped up in a riddle.
04:00:52.000 It's a mystery.
04:00:53.000 It's a mystery wrapped up in a riddle inside an enigma.
04:00:57.000 Dude, I've got to end this.
04:00:59.000 You've got to go?
04:00:59.000 I've got to get the fuck out of here, yeah.
04:01:00.000 I think we did four hours.
04:01:01.000 I was going to conduct these things with you like a Springsteen concert.
04:01:05.000 Let's see who drops first.
04:01:06.000 You or the audience.
04:01:07.000 Well, I think today I have too many things.
04:01:09.000 I have three sets tonight.
04:01:11.000 What do you mean?
04:01:11.000 What are you doing?
04:01:11.000 Three sets at the Comedy Store.
04:01:13.000 Oh, really?
04:01:14.000 Yeah, there's a belly room show, main room show, and an OR show.
04:01:18.000 Oh.
04:01:19.000 You're busy.
04:01:19.000 Yeah, one starts in an hour.
04:01:20.000 Go.
04:01:20.000 I got shit I gotta do.
04:01:21.000 Go.
04:01:22.000 My friend!
04:01:22.000 This is very fun.
04:01:23.000 This is awesome.
04:01:24.000 Always.
04:01:24.000 Always is, dude.
04:01:24.000 We gotta do it again sooner rather than waiting fucking four years or three years or something.
04:01:28.000 Yeah, for sure, brother.
04:01:29.000 Always a pleasure, man.
04:01:30.000 You expand my mind.
04:01:31.000 We have these fun conversations, but I think we spend so much time complimenting each other because we like it because we don't have to be like, then we can get deep.
04:01:39.000 We can go deep on other things, not each other.
04:01:41.000 Yeah, because if we compliment each other like every time, people would be like, these guys are super gay for each other.
04:01:46.000 Yeah, to be fair though, we've only done it like every four years.
04:01:49.000 I know.
04:01:49.000 It's not close enough for people to make the assumption that...
04:01:51.000 Is this our third?
04:01:52.000 I think so.
04:01:53.000 I think I did one with you, I did one at our house.
04:01:55.000 Yeah.
04:01:56.000 And I think we're the one at our house first, then with you, and then this is the third.
04:02:00.000 No, this is the fourth, then.
04:02:01.000 I feel like I've done your house twice.
04:02:04.000 Okay, then you did.
04:02:05.000 The first time you did with me and the wife, then maybe you came and did one solo with me, and then we did one solo with you.
04:02:10.000 The last time we did one, you showed me that cool treadmill-type desk thing you had set up.
04:02:15.000 With the standing desk.
04:02:16.000 I was like, oh, that's genius.
04:02:17.000 You have to walk and type at the same time.
04:02:20.000 And wife's sitting there working.
04:02:21.000 That's a sweet move.
04:02:22.000 A year and a half, I think, I used that.
04:02:25.000 Yeah?
04:02:27.000 The tread started slipping, so I'd be walking.
04:02:30.000 Oh, that ain't good.
04:02:31.000 One time I hit my chin on the desk.
04:02:33.000 Oh, dude.
04:02:33.000 And the desk was down here, so I had to go like this far.
04:02:36.000 And I was like, you know what?
04:02:37.000 How do you sue those bitches?
04:02:38.000 Maybe we were meant to stand at a desk or walk, but never at the same time.
04:02:42.000 Don't quit now.
04:02:44.000 Get back on that motherfucker.
04:02:45.000 I say ramp it up.
04:02:46.000 Put it on an angle.
04:02:48.000 So you have to hike.
04:02:49.000 Like you're hiking uphill.
04:02:50.000 You're to the extreme.
04:02:51.000 I'm lucky to walk up a hill.
04:02:53.000 Old school English running shoes on.
04:02:54.000 I know.
04:02:55.000 With their dress shoes with the spikes.
04:02:56.000 So I'm running in heels and shit.
04:02:57.000 Yeah, man.
04:02:58.000 All I need is a hat with a buckle on.
04:02:59.000 I'll look like a fucking pilgrim.
04:03:01.000 Thank you, sir.
04:03:02.000 Thanks for having excellent seeing you, man.
04:03:04.000 I really, really appreciate this.
04:03:05.000 Keep seeking, my friend.
04:03:06.000 Keep seeking.
04:03:07.000 We keep saying this, but let's try to do these regularly.
04:03:09.000 I agree.
04:03:10.000 Let's try to do these regularly.
04:03:10.000 They're so much fun.
04:03:11.000 I agree.
04:03:12.000 Kevin Smith ladies and gentlemen!