Comedian Tracy Morgan joins the brother and sister duo of the and to talk about his new stand-up comedy show. Also, the boys discuss their favorite morning TV shows of all-time, and why they don t do them anymore. And, of course, there's a little bit of Captain James as well. Enjoy the episode and don't forget to leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! Thanks to our sponsor, for sponsoring this episode and supporting the podcast! If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and also, Im gonna be giving out some gifts to the best REVIEWS that you leave for me in the iTunes store! I ll be picking one person at random who leave a review to win a FREE place on the next Shreddin8 program! 5 stars is much appreciated and really helps spread the word about the podcast. Thank you so much to everyone who has been a supporter of the podcast, and we ll see you next week with a new episode of ! Don t forget to give us a review and tell us what you think about it! XOXO, Tommy Buns and James! Love ya! xoxo - The Boys - The Crew - Tommy and James - Your Host, Kristy & The Crew! - P.S. - The Guys - James & the Crew -- Thank you for all the love and support you all for making this podcast and support us, it means a lot of love & support. - Thank you, P.E. P.M. - James & P.B. - K. & AYO. - JOSYO - THE BOYS - D.A. & JUICY! - MRS. & KARRYAN AND P.O. & T. AND SONGS! - JAY & RYAN AND KARISHA & JAYE AND T. BOSHA & MOSHA AND POTTERY AND JYO AND A. M. AND AYEAH AND SORCHES! - CHEER AND PYORCHEY AND LYNNE AND MOSCO AND TAYLOR AND KELLY AND KOSHA'S DADDY'S AND A PODCAST
00:02:23.000Did you ever see Tracy Morgan when he pulled his shirt off and started hitting his stomach and he was saying that someone was getting pregnant?
00:02:30.000That's probably the best good morning anything of all time.
00:02:34.000And he was in Chicago, and I think he ends it with, he goes, Horace Grant, holler!
00:02:42.000Which is, you know, the old power forward for the Chicago Bulls.
00:02:46.000That was such a great fucking improv line right then.
00:07:54.000I was thinking too, I was watching, I was just looking on Instagram that you were in Toronto and you did a show and then you did the fights the next day.
00:08:05.000And I was thinking as like watching you do the call the fights, I was like, man, there's no other broadcaster in the major sports where like the night before he had as good a time as you did.
00:08:19.000Like, there's no way Al Michaels and Chris Collingsworth are like, tonight we're gonna fucking party with, like, fans, and then tomorrow we'll call the Cowboys and the Giants.
00:09:46.000When you see the footwork and the movement, when they're doing some sort of a crazy layup, it's like, god damn, super athleticism while people are trying to stop you from doing it.
00:09:54.000And there's 10 people in not that much space when you're at basketball live.
00:10:23.000He'll go in a direction and anticipate that someone's going to be somewhere else within seconds, and then will, behind his head, pass it, and you just can't put it together.
00:10:37.000Do you think these are things they work on?
00:10:57.000I mean, I don't like soccer that much, but I will watch, like I don't watch it regularly, but when World Cup comes on, I'll turn into like a mini fanatic.
00:15:13.000He's just thinking, like, if this guy played football, if I played football, and he played football, and we ran into each other, that would be terrible for me.
00:16:03.000We watched or we looked at this Website that held up all the various heights and weights of NFL players from 20, 30 years ago in comparison today.
00:17:55.000For the average person to understand how insane that is, how do you describe how insane it is to watch an almost 300 pound man launch himself literally five feet into the air?
00:18:47.000He's one of very few, and there's a couple guys that, I don't know, it's not five feet, but easily three, three and a half feet that jump out of the pool.
00:22:47.000There's a few guys that'll get it earlier.
00:22:49.000If you have some particular talent physically, which seems like a lot of people equate martial arts, rightly so, with technique is the most important thing.
00:24:56.000And, you know, like I think you've said, like nothing in and of itself is as exciting as a fight.
00:25:02.000You know, like a fight break, a fight in any moment is exciting.
00:25:05.000But when you have an arena full cheering with, you know, the excitement to add to that, there's something you can't duplicate, you know, on an energy level.
00:25:14.000Right, because the consequences are so high.
00:25:16.000The consequences are high, but there's like, there's an energy in the room of somebody walking up and you hearing that...
00:25:22.000Like that, you know, it raises the hair on your neck, and you're like, oh god, and then with everything that lands, that cheering, whoa, man, it's just, it's, you can't, you can't mimic that, you know?
00:25:34.000No, yeah, it's, you know, I hate the phrase because we've said it for so long, it's as real as it gets, but it is just, you know, what is it about a phrase when you say a phrase too long, they just stop meaning anything?
00:27:52.000Ronda Rousey, who's of course, you know, former UFC bantamweight champion, all-time great mixed martial artist, she has this girl, Juliana Pena.
00:28:06.000That is in her weight division and they talk shit to each other.
00:28:11.000Or at least Juliana's been talking shit about Ronda Rousey.
00:29:24.000But my point was, they're proposing to fight in a fucking cage, and somehow or another it's this unbelievable outrage because she made fun of her arms being fat.
00:33:24.000The best is that if you make any comment or joke about anything political, somebody who disagrees with that political position will go, we don't really need a comedian commenting on this.
00:34:23.000I have had the dumbest conversations with people who think their kung fu master could fight in the UFC, but everybody's scared of someone dying.
00:34:32.000If someone understands real chi, they're a real chi master.
00:34:35.000I've had these kind of conversations with people.
00:34:37.000How much do people believe that Kung Fu...
00:35:06.000That if you were like a taekwondo guy like I was, you would have a delusional sense of how good you would do in a fight with a judo person.
00:35:40.000If you're a martial artist, especially you get to your black belt level or something like that, You're aware of other shit now.
00:35:46.000So you know what things, you know, what's more effective now.
00:35:50.000Like there's a better understanding of it than anyone's ever had before.
00:35:52.000So if you're like a high-level martial artist, even just a wrestler or something like that, I guarantee you they know, most of them know something else.
00:36:30.000You can get by with a certain amount of speed against lesser competition.
00:36:34.000You can get by even more so if you are more of a threat as a wrestler.
00:36:39.000And you can get by even more so if you're really smart.
00:36:41.000You really understand when to engage, when not to engage, and you're threatened with the wrestling.
00:36:44.000You can get away with having a slower striking style.
00:36:48.000But if you can't do those things, then you're a fucking sitting duck.
00:36:51.000And that's one of the most terrifying aspects of MMA. One of the most terrifying aspects of MMA is being stuck in the middle of a cage with a guy like Anderson Silva in his prime, who's just sliding slightly out of the way to your shit and BAM! Cracking you in the face and he's dancing around and he's making the wobbly face like he's rocked.
00:37:11.000To fuck with you and then he kicks you and punches you.
00:37:14.000He's done some creepy shit to dudes inside the octagon.
00:37:16.000I mean creepy in a way that's like, not negative, I mean so good.
00:37:22.000Like he's had these moments in fights where you just go, holy shit, it's creepy.
00:37:26.000You could get stuck in a cage with that dude.
00:42:23.000It's a beautiful combination with a guy who moves his head a lot because you force him because you're not just throwing one in that direction.
00:53:57.000You know, you can talk all the shit you want about that guy because it's fun to talk shit about him because he created this persona, Marty Mayweather, but it's brilliant.
01:00:56.000Whatever I was, 30 or whatever, 29 or something like that, I still was smart enough to realize this is a stupid idea and I've got to sit down.
01:01:08.000But the thing is that we had the conversation before, they're like, you're going to fuck people up because of this.
01:01:12.000So you have the illusion of what's going on.
01:01:16.000Well, maybe that would work, though, with football, because football is not something you would do where you struggle for long periods of time.
01:01:37.000And so we would set a timer for seven minutes, and then you're basically just going at it with someone who is probably pretty fucking skillful.
01:02:01.000Normally when you work out, say if you run up a hill, and you put your fingers on your pulse, and you can sit there, and in a few seconds you feel them start to drop, and you look down at your watch, and when you get to 140-ish, you can just start sprinting again.
01:02:39.000Man, because, you know, yeah, well, it was like doing the competitive martial arts thing when I was young made me like this intense extremist.
01:06:39.000So Blue Band then will go through a lot of this stuff and edit down, let's say, like a five minute YouTube video into like maybe six, 10 to 15 second clips.
01:06:52.000And so we're just always looking at stuff and it's, you know, a range of things are engaging to us.
01:07:28.000There's like a feel, and if you get really good with one of those things, it becomes apparently very addicted to shoot, because people who like recurves, they like shooting at targets, it's an instinctive thing.
01:07:38.000So you have to shoot a bunch of arrows to kind of know where the arrow is going.
01:07:43.000And you shoot differently too because you don't really hold it very long.
01:07:47.000You kind of draw it back and then they let it go pretty quickly.
01:07:51.000Whereas a compound bow, the whole idea of a compound bow is there's an extreme amount of force that's exhibited in the beginning.
01:07:58.000Or it's expressed through the cams and through the limbs.
01:09:45.000This is, you know, 1200s, somewhere around then.
01:09:48.000That was technology back then because they figured out a recurve bow is this crazy bow that the way it's designed, if you see a recurve bow that's not strong, it doesn't even look like it would work.
01:10:28.000Just see if you could find a picture of the Mongol bows.
01:10:31.000Because those are the first ones, I think somewhere in that time of the world, was the first ones when people had figured out how to make a recurve bow.
01:10:41.000See, that's what the top looks like without the string.
01:10:44.000And it's gonna go back to the shape where you see on the bottom, in the same position.
01:10:50.000So because of that, it stores up all this extra energy, because you're pulling so far back, and it has this tremendous snapping effect when you let go of the string.
01:11:33.000Because, like, you're making your own broadheads.
01:11:36.000Some of them might be a little heavier than others.
01:11:38.000It's not a factory mass producing them.
01:11:41.000Yeah, now they're making arrows out of, like, aluminum and carbon fiber cores.
01:11:45.000And they have, like, a very, like, you know, you buy these arrows from, like, Easton or one of, like, the top-level companies that make arrows.
01:11:52.000They have, like, the super high tolerance levels for, like, each one of the arrows that leaves their factory.
01:12:00.000They spin them and shit and make sure that everything's good.
01:12:02.000Yeah, no, it's incredible how that technology evolved.
01:12:08.000Yeah, so there's a lot of these guys, like this guy you're talking about, the Glasson guy, he still uses one of those primitive boats, but he's just so good, he can get away with it.
01:12:15.000It says, I mean, his bio is incredible, but in this video, it starts with him.
01:12:21.000He shoots a moose, and it drops quick, and he fucking comes close to coming in his pants, right?
01:12:29.000Like, he makes a sound that you don't even, you can't, he goes...
01:12:45.000The audio is what's incredible, but then he starts talking about glassing, and he's like, we were just coming around the meadow, we were just glassing, and then we were like, let's glass, let's glass, and he keeps going, glass, glass, glass, glass, which is looking through binoculars, which we discovered,
01:13:00.000but then we played it so much People, like, I would post a picture of myself, like, I'm about to go on stage, and they're like, are you glassing?
01:13:08.000And, like, or, you know, like, if you talk to somebody, like, what'd you do today?
01:13:11.000I'm like, oh, I hung out, and they're like, glassing?
01:13:27.000Like when you guys were on and you had to explain it to me, it was fucking hilarious.
01:13:30.000Do you know what the latest thing is with that?
01:13:32.000First, we had an electrician over at the house and whenever you're in the house, you know, you call your spouse, I'd be like, Jeans, do you know?
01:13:48.000But then we started going to Starbucks and ordering our drinks.
01:13:52.000It's just like a stupid thing that we told our listeners we do.
01:13:56.000We do this regularly just to amuse ourselves, which is we'll call them jeans and then say, thank you, mommy, or I love you, mommy, at the end.
01:14:36.000A guy was talking to a bill play place, and he's like, hey, mommy, I don't understand what this bill means.
01:14:42.000And the other guy's like, yeah, so that first section, they don't even address that you're calling someone mommy or jeans or saying thank you, mommy, or I love you, mommy.
01:15:24.000The hotel, because the year before, a few months before my son was born, we were there for a wedding, and Christina had like a 30-second fart.
01:21:04.000And you have a tag, and you take that, you know, you have to pay for it, and they allot a certain amount of them.
01:21:10.000Some places they have what's called over-the-counter, which means they just have, it's just kind of open to anybody who wants to pay for the hunting fee and pay for the tag fee, to some species, like particularly pigs.
01:21:27.000No, that was like four solid days of hunting with no luck, and then we were literally driving down this road, and off the side of the road, 70 yards away, was a moose.
01:25:42.000It's like our brains, the way we formulate ideas, A lot of it is based around experience, right?
01:25:51.000And the experience, like if you're eating a piece of meat, or if you're even eating fruits or vegetables for that matter, You'll understand that experience better if you go through the whole process.
01:26:03.000Like if you're there when the plants are growing, maybe help water them, maybe pick them, maybe cut them up and serve them, and then you're eating them.
01:26:10.000Having a garden is a fucking cool thing.
01:26:13.000It gives you some weird thankfulness, which I think is one of the things that's a problem with people today, is that things come so easy to us that we don't have obstacles to overcome.
01:26:24.000And we're not super thankful for the super easy life that we have.
01:27:40.000What he does is he comes out, there's a fucking band that plays, like throwback kind of music, and then he hosts it like a radio show.
01:27:51.000And then there's a theme, there's stories, and in between these sketches with live actors, like you have a script and you read in front of an audience, stand up in between.
01:29:28.000Dude, there was one time I learned, I went to a French cooking class a few, like, six, seven years ago, and I learned a very basic but, you know, a little more sophisticated way to make chocolate souffle.
01:29:41.000You know, like the hot lava where you crack, and there's a certain way.
01:29:44.000You have to learn the temperature of your oven.
01:29:47.000Like, the real way it works is to make multiples because...
01:29:51.000It might say 300, but it cooks it in 17 minutes, but at my house, 300 cooks it in 22 minutes, right?
01:29:59.000Because different ovens are actually performing at a different level.
01:30:04.000The heat is not necessarily what it says.
01:30:07.000And you would learn how to mix and season the ramekin and all that.
01:31:24.000Do you now, when you're trying to lose weight for this competition, do you now look at this like, this is the new Tom Segura, I'm just going to eat healthy and lose all this weight, or do you go, I'm just going to beat Bert Kreischer, and then I'm going to go off like a rocket.
01:31:38.000No, I feel like it becomes a little bit addictive when you start seeing some results.
01:31:44.000It kind of reminds me of saving money.
01:31:48.000When you save money and you see the number go up, and I'm talking even when you're not making a lot of money, you go, I want to save this amount of money.
01:31:56.000Sometimes you'll surpass it, and you'll be like, I don't even care about the thing I thought I was saving money for.
01:32:12.000You're like, oh, I want to see it keep going down.
01:32:14.000That's why when they have those helicopter footage views of these mansions in the Hamptons and they're pulling a guy out in handcuffs because he stole $500 million from his company, that's what the fuck that's all about.
01:32:25.000That simple human need to collect, that becomes, you become some corporate villain.
01:32:32.000That becomes, you fucking dig into the oil...
01:32:52.000I think it's one of the most important things about people.
01:32:56.000Is that you have to find what little formula works for your brain.
01:33:02.000Everybody's brain is fucking different.
01:33:04.000Tell everybody they gotta go for it, and they gotta work out like The Rock, and they gotta read a book a day, like, hey, hey, hey, slow the fuck down.
01:33:13.000But you gotta find out what it is for you, and I think for almost everybody, There should be something that you're pursuing that you can get better at.
01:33:22.000Meaning, it could be art, it could be like you're really in a painting, sculpture, it could be a physical thing, like maybe a yoga thing, or a martial arts thing, or fill in the blank with a hundred archery, a hundred different things that you could, chess, that you could really get into.
01:33:38.000But I think when people work towards something, And then continue to do something and try to improve it, even if it's just your recreational tennis game.
01:33:46.000I think those things bring people happiness because I think people have a certain amount of built-in desire to overcome adversity, overcome problems, and we don't get enough of it in real life.
01:34:04.000Like you have an accomplishment that you're working towards.
01:34:07.000It gives people this sense of meaning, you know, which ultimately, that's the real problem, right, with a lot of people, is that they don't enjoy their life.
01:34:16.000And so then they start thinking about, like, what is the purpose of this then?
01:34:19.000Because is it just keep being uncomfortable and not happy until your heart stops beating?
01:34:29.000By the way, my point for this too is that I think it's a great endorsement of fat shaming because this is a healthy result where you have two guys.
01:34:38.000Ultimately, look, it doesn't even matter.
01:34:40.000We both fat shamed and insulted each other and then so did a lot of people.
01:36:55.000I've told this story before, but when Kevin James was losing weight, his manager at the time, who he got rid of, was telling him that if he loses weight, he loses roles.
01:38:26.000They have conversations with you that you just want to go, what did you just say?
01:38:30.000I had one one time where we had this conversation with an executive who said, like, we kind of want shows like, and I'll just make it up, right?
01:38:45.000And that was just one of the things they said.
01:38:47.000And then on the first notes pass, which is like they read your first draft, the first thing that the same executive said was, this kind of feels like an HBO show.
01:39:13.000You work with writers, and sometimes you don't know a person, you sit down with them, start trying to write a script with them, it just gets really strange.
01:51:00.000Dude, it's this giant flying thing with huge talons and it only hunts at night and it's smart as fuck.
01:51:09.000They just swoop down and jack everything.
01:51:12.000Yeah, that's an incredible predator, man.
01:51:15.000Well, it's really interesting that the balance of those things, other than when people get infected or involved, rather, the balance of those things is like how many of them exist.
01:51:25.000It's all dependent upon how much there is for them to eat.
01:51:28.000It's like the more rabbits there are, the more rats there are, the more the owls will thrive.
01:51:36.000If you didn't have those things, like people are always in LA, they're always worried about coyotes.
01:55:54.000So to see it in this really nice neighborhood...
01:55:57.000We went to this really nice Italian restaurant, and we're driving down this residential street, and we're like, holy shit, that's a killer.
01:56:03.000That thing's just roaming and looking for dogs and shit.
01:56:05.000Yeah, what if it saw you walking your dog, you know?
01:56:11.000You hear stories about old ladies in Brentwood walking their poodles, click, click, click, they hear the clicks of the nails of the coyote behind them, and the coyote just snatches that dog right off the leash.
01:57:12.000They must be able to tell when something's a predator.
01:57:14.000I saw this piece, a news piece, about how they would have much better chance of survival, the mountain lions out here, if we had overpasses over the freeways for them to roam.
01:59:43.000Well, people who don't know, especially someone who's like a rancher, is raising alpacas and they're not paying attention to how nutty social justice warriors get online when it comes to things like this.
01:59:55.000You've got a problem if you've got something that's in your neighborhood that kills a lot of livestock, especially the way it did it there, where it killed a bunch of them and didn't even eat it.
02:00:03.000Where would they drop that thing, by the way, you think, if they were trying to do that?
02:00:06.000They would take it somewhere like Big Bear or somewhere probably close by, but far enough away that it would...
02:00:14.000Maybe could stake out a new territory, but there's no guarantee that it doesn't come back.
02:00:18.000See, the thing about mountain lions as opposed to people is they know where the fuck they are, and they know how to get home.
02:01:50.000See, that cougar was just glassing, and the guy hit him.
02:01:52.000That's interesting that they initially thought that it had been released from captivity, given that no mountain lion had been sighted in the state for more than 100 years.
02:04:06.000Yeah, so it was about these National Guard guys that went down into the swamp, and they were doing some sort of exercise, and they pissed somebody off, and they got in some sort of an exchange with people, and they shot at someone.
02:09:53.000Seinfeld is really the only, I think, one that's, if you're a comic.
02:09:58.000Did you ever watch Mad About You and go, is there something with the, am I just thinking wrong?
02:10:03.000Well, I would see people watch it, like family members, and laughing, and that's when I would think something's wrong with me, and then after all, I was like, you're retarded.
02:11:25.000It's just a matter of whether or not we can survive the next hundred years or whatever it is before we get hit by an asteroid.
02:11:31.000But one of these days, just think about how crazy it is that 200 years ago, if you wanted a painting of something, if you wanted a picture of something rather, you would have to paint it.
02:14:53.000I'm a huge fan of it, but it's weird to me that it's 30 years in the future But everything is pretty standard like the way they're doing everything with a tablet and the everything the way they're walking around their apartments It all looks kind of the same whereas if you go to 1970 and you look at 1970 as opposed to the year 2000 There's a giant difference in that 30 years.
02:15:15.000I would think that Whatever the fuck, I mean, if they're that close, they made these goddamn robots, and then 30 years later, they're still fairly similar?
02:20:16.000Did he really get a package from The Rock?
02:20:18.000Burnt Chrysler sent me a box of cookies, and that was the card.
02:20:24.000Because he's tagged The Rock on a few things, and The Rock has retweeted it and mentioned him, and he told me about it, so then he sent me a box of cookies to the house, and it said, congrats on the new house, The Rock.
02:20:36.000So, that was Bert trying to fuck with me.
02:20:38.000Having me eat cookies, and then it's coming from The Rock.
02:21:30.000People don't want to do it because, goddammit, if you got a cheeseburger with blue cheese on it, you see the blood just kind of like dripping onto the bun, put some jalapenos on that bitch, maybe some mayonnaise, some thick fucking dark red tomatoes, and some juicy iceberg lettuce,
02:21:46.000and you want to get busy with that cheeseburger.
02:22:25.000But, I swear to God, you'll drink this and you'll want to run up the side of a fucking mountain and punch a mountain lion right in the dick.
02:23:29.000Then, on top of that, four stalks of celery, or two, excuse me, two stalks of celery, And then MCT oil.
02:23:37.000MCT oil is important because in order for your body to accurately process, like to get the most, like more efficiently processed vitamins, you want them to be attached to fats in a lot of cases.
02:24:12.000Like, I've had some asshole riots where you're walking, like, towards the bathroom, and all of a sudden, out of nowhere, like, you have to take a shit.
02:24:28.000I don't know what the number is, but to me, caution, err on the side of caution with the MCT oil.
02:24:35.000Maybe just a couple of tablespoons full is plenty.
02:24:38.000If it's oil, you know, there's this weird restaurant I used to go to on the east side, Don Felix, Peruvian place, and they would make this dish called Lomo Saltado, which is so good.
02:24:51.000That sounds like you should be on Narcos, man.
02:24:52.000Man, it's a fucking traditional Peruvian dish with meat, potato, like chopped up fries basically, tomatoes, rice, but they would oil, like make it on a pan with lots of oil.
02:25:04.000I used to be able to fart songs out there, like with total control.
02:25:09.000You know, I could be like because of so much oil in my system.
02:25:18.000I'll take it to this place if you want to go.
02:25:20.000Did you see that article that was released that showed that the sugar companies in the 1950s were bribing scientists to report that it was saturated fat that was causing people to get sick and have heart attacks?
02:25:44.000Because all these years, people have automatically connected saturated fat Heart disease saturated fat and all these problems, but there's there's like a need that your body has for saturated fat like a lot of these scientists That did this they just fucking lied They were paid off by the sugar industry to make it seem like saturated fat was what's fucking people up However,
02:26:10.000someone just sent me, Dr. Rhonda Patrick actually, just sent me something, an article that there's a new study that came out that shows that the real problem they think now with saturated fats is when saturated fats are mixed with processed foods.
02:26:28.000That processed foods and saturated fats together as a combination, like processed sugars, And things along those lines mixed with saturated fats can be very bad for you.
02:29:28.000That's the thing, is ultimately, even if you don't get to some crazy level, your fantasy level of it, you're still doing better than you were.
02:33:50.000But they sprayed some particles that they could track.
02:33:55.000They sprayed it into the air in the city to determine what kind of impact A bomb, like a dirty bomb, or biological warfare, something along those lines.
02:34:10.000Either a nuclear fallout or biological warfare, like how far it would travel given a certain amount of wind.
02:34:16.000So I think they actually used giant fans and shit and blew some stuff in the air and then tracked it.
02:37:21.000And these ducks, their dicks are twisty, and the female duck's vagina is like a fucking twisty mountain road, and he's got to find a way in, and the female can let him in.
02:37:57.000But it's this crazy weird thing where the male penis has to go through this weird kind of twisty-turny corridor in the female duck, and the female duck can decide to let him in or not.
02:38:27.000Why don't we stop and pause and realize this is the same fucking kind of animal that we just saw swoop down and jack that other fucking bird right out of a tree.
02:38:38.000What distance do you think he saw that bird from when he decided?
02:42:09.000Some people say it's from staring at screens.
02:42:10.000Some people say it's just a function of being older.
02:42:13.000Some people say that there's a combination of factors, but also one thing that doesn't help is that we're constantly staring at something that's a fixed distance.
02:42:54.000Dude, I got super baked once and Aubrey and I did a podcast and I went off on this tangent that's been fucking with me ever since.
02:43:00.000We were talking about screens that if you looked at human beings and if you didn't know anything about us, you'd be like, oh, they worship the screens.
02:43:08.000Because all we do, you get up in the morning, you check your phone, you check your email, you go to work, you stare at your screen in a cubicle, you come home, you watch a little TV, you go on the weekend, oh, we're going to go see a flick.
02:43:23.000Yeah, something that didn't understand what those images were, or didn't care, or was trying to judge you based entirely on your actual movement and interaction, they would be like, oh my god, they're slaves to the screen.
02:45:47.000So instead of sitting there playing a game, which is kind of mindless, they're reading a book, which can kind of expand their imagination.
02:45:54.000However, there's also some arguments against that it's mindless.
02:45:58.000Because there's a lot of arguments about video games.
02:46:01.000That although video games are kind of problematic for little kids because they do just become super addictive, they also can expand your mind.
02:46:09.000And there's examples of people that have done tests that have shown that video games actually can make you smarter because they make you constantly exercising parts of your brain that solve problems.
02:46:47.000I'm not saying that that means you're going to be great at everything, but there's something in your brain Functioning, moving well, to be able to put together how to play this game and play it really high level.
02:46:59.000And there's people that, there's people you can, I mean, have you ever tried to show someone how to play a game and they just can't get it?
02:54:11.000Have you ever thought about being a funny comedian?
02:54:13.000Have you ever thought about being funny?
02:54:15.000I'm saying that, in general, we have this sort of outlook that Being funny, comedy, in general, I'm saying, is a younger person's kind of thing, right?
02:55:39.000There's a lot of mistakes and hiccups along the way.
02:55:42.000And the whole thing is about having an idea of what you're trying to do, have an idea of how you're trying to live and how you want to feel and how you want to affect people, and then figuring out your way through that path.
02:55:53.000And then as you keep doing it, you keep getting better at it.
02:55:56.000And I think that if that's the case, if you're living your life like that, if you're trying to make this path through your existence, it'll at least leave you in a place where you're constantly trying to have fun and you're constantly trying to improve,
02:56:13.000and I think you'll get better feelings out of it.
02:56:16.000But at the end of the day, it's still the same thing.
02:56:19.000It's still this strange, temporary existence where you're awake and conscious for a certain amount of time Every day, but then you're unconscious for a certain amount of time every day, and you're ultimately going to shut off.
02:57:09.000So is it that those guys, that's what I'm saying, stopped being funny to a certain generation, or they stopped trying, or they just got, I don't know, so old, you know?
02:58:38.000What I actually think is that I'll think about that, I'll look at people older than me.
02:58:45.000Then one of the things that I find inspiring is that I feel like people at the top of their game in stand-up right now are essentially all 10 to 15 years older than me.
02:58:59.000Like, everybody is like late 40s, even early 50s, and you're like, oh, it's just one of those things you go like, oh, you can be better, you can still do greater things, be funny, like, develop more into your 40s.
02:59:13.000Whereas I think as a young comic, when you're 20, all you hear about is like 10 years, 10 years, 10 years.
02:59:18.000So you go, that must be the place to get to 10 years.
02:59:22.000So when I'm 30, that'll be my development.
02:59:26.000Also, when you're thinking about the body of stand-up that's been before you, there's so many great comedians that have done so many great CDs and DVDs and all these different things.
02:59:36.000One of the things that separates you from maybe a guy that lived 20 years ago is that you're also playing off the body of work of all these people that came before you.
03:00:26.000Unless you're born the perfect person, you're a work in progress.
03:00:29.000If you have any self-reflection, you look back and you're like, I can't believe I fucking used to think that.
03:00:33.000But that's just a matter of getting better at life.
03:00:36.000But there's also nothing wrong with being Jerry Lewis or Red Buttons or any of these guys and just killing Tom when you get older and hanging out and just stopping the grind.
03:00:46.000I was thinking about that just in the shower the other day.
03:00:51.000And I was like, I'm going to be 80 in my fucking red jacket, in my fucking, you know, corduroy, and I'm going to go, and my fans will be like the fans that saw me 50 years ago, and I'll just be in there.
03:01:42.000This is what's happening with Trump, when Trump became president, and then when Kanye West was afresh three or four days out of the loony bin, goes to visit Trump, and Trump, it's like, yeah, sure, it's not like I'm the president, and you're crazy, come on in.
03:01:56.000But him and Donald Trump are apparently very good friends.
03:07:39.000When one of them will say something funny and we all laugh, you can see their little eyes light up and then they want to make you laugh more.
03:12:29.000He's real motivated, and he talks so much shit.
03:12:33.000He talks so much shit, they can't take it.
03:12:35.000And the people that are going to these press conferences with him, and he's yelling at them, trying to get fights with them, and they're all at the press conference announcing another fight, and he's in the audience.
03:13:53.000But then they would learn that that's what's going to make it a sensation, a hit, you know?
03:13:56.000Well, I think he had to do it like over and over and over and over and over again on YouTube and on Instagram for people to get addicted to it.
03:14:03.000Because now, like, when I see it in my feed, and it's Shannon sitting in front of like a bowl of food or something with a big smile on his face, I always click on those videos.
03:14:26.000So that's not available anywhere else.
03:14:28.000It speaks to when something gets popular or gets a fan base, it's because people connect to the authenticity, I think, of people's real personalities.
03:16:01.000Those things in the upper right-hand side are cameras.
03:16:03.000And there's this video that we were watching of this guy doing an operation, cutting this person open while he's wearing these Snapchat glasses.
03:16:14.000Because you're realizing, like, oh, this is like the Motorola Razr.
03:16:19.000This is like the Motorola Razr, and one day we're going to have the iPhone 7. I think it's crazy that we're talking about something that's $130.
03:16:26.000I thought we were talking about some really, you know?
03:16:58.000By the way, I just want to tell you, very inspiring watching you do that set the other night in the main room doing all new material that I haven't seen before, and it was really fucking funny stuff, man.
03:17:08.000I've been working since the last one came out, and I'm about at an hour now, and so the tour starts January, and I'm going coast to coast, Canada, doing a bunch of dates, man.
03:17:20.000You can tell you're putting in the time.
03:17:21.000That's, you know, that's one of the cool things about being in L.A. is I get to see so many guys like you and Joey and Burr and Ari and Duncan and all these guys that are just really fucking funny in this one area, like,
03:20:05.000It's so insane that we pretend that If two people are in a relationship and one person makes all the money, that somehow or another, there's an even deal.
03:20:43.000He's got one bit, I don't want to spoiler alert it, but he's got one bit that's really intricate, and at the end of it I was like, holy shit, that's good.
03:20:52.000And when you're a funny guy like Tom already is, and you're putting out stuff, and then you have to write new stuff, the new stuff represents the new level of funny he is.
03:21:04.000That's the last throat clearing of this show, folks, I promise.
03:22:24.000You know, like, it used to be, like, people would discuss, like, who's the water champ, and now it's just...
03:22:28.000I remember the first time I met you, it was in Phoenix.
03:22:31.000It was on this, like, the stand-up tour, and you came up to me after my set, and you go, I've never seen someone drink so much water during such a short set.
03:23:55.000Sometimes people will ask, like, how many, you know, like, what's your record?
03:23:59.000I know for these in a day, it's somewhere in the 50s.
03:24:02.000And then I know that, like, gallon-wise, it's just over three.
03:24:06.000Yeah, whenever someone likes to talk to me about people who work out hard, I always use the example of my friend Cameron Haynes who run 205 miles.