Tony Hinchcliffe is hiding in the basement from Chris Cyborg. President Trump has not responded to any of Tony s calls. Brian Redman is not helping. I am trying to find the sound effect for breaking news. I can barely get the TV to work. I want to buy a Fire Stick but I don t know how to use it. I just bought an Apple TV but I can't get it to work either. I don't know what I'm doing with it and I'm trying to figure out how I'm going to get it working. I think it's going to be a good day. Joe also talks about the worst Mexican radio station in the entire world and how it's run by a white guy who thinks he's a chicken. I also talk about how much I hate Taco Bell and how they suck at making your life better. And I talk about the weirdest thing I've ever heard on a radio station. Joe Rogan is a comedian and podcaster. He's also a podcaster, comedian, writer, actor, podcaster and host of the podcast "The Joe Rogans Experience" and hosts a podcast called "The Rogan Experience" which is a podcast where he talks about everything and anything and everything in between. He also does stand-up comedy and he does it with a sense of humor and he's good at it. He does it in a way no one else can do. I hope you enjoy it! -Joe Rogan's new book "The Best Mexican Radio Station in the World" is out now and it's very funny and I think you're going to like it. This is a must listen! -Joes and you should listen to this episode of the whole thing. - it's funny, it's not only funny, but it's good, it'll make you want to listen to it at least once, but you'll know that you'll be better than the rest of the ones you've heard it on your local radio station you've listened to it on the radio station and you'll get a chance to hear it at your local coffee shop in the next episode of your local station in LA or wherever you're listening to it's better than it's at your average coffee shop or the one you're at your favorite coffee shop, or you're in your local Starbucks or your local bar or whatever you're watching it's best listening place, or it's just like that, you're not going to want to go to a coffee place that's good enough.
00:01:13.000Well, you know what those little Amazon things, or the little Google ones, those little Google sticks?
00:01:19.000You stick them in a USB port on your computer, or on your TV, and you can stream something from your computer right to that, and it plays on the TV. How in the fuck does that work?
00:01:30.000Because your Apple TV... I have an Apple TV. It's like a Big Mac, right?
00:02:10.000ESPN3, I had to watch the fights on ESPN3 because they were on...
00:02:14.000UFC Fight Pass had Glory on up until this one fight, and then from that one fight on, it was all on ESPN3. So I had it on my laptop, and then I said, well, oh, I don't have a fucking Apple laptop anymore.
00:02:26.000Now I can't shoot it directly to the Apple TV. And then I found out all you need is one of those little drives.
00:02:32.000You stick that sucker in your TV, and it's just as good.
00:02:38.000A little USB drive and then you can do it right from your phone to your TV. I just bought an antenna the other day just to see what local channels I can get.
00:03:11.000And then there's just like, yeah, there's Russian, Mexican, Korean.
00:03:14.000But it is weird just watching all these free channels.
00:03:17.000Well, that was one of the things with radio.
00:03:19.000One of the things that happened with radio is, in LA in particular, they would close down, like when they closed down that FM talk station, there's an FM talk station.
00:03:28.000And they closed it down, and then a Mexican station popped up.
00:04:08.000But when I would pass by these bus stops all over LA, you'd see these billboards that were for these stations that you're never going to listen to.
00:04:16.000There's this one neighborhood that my ex-gardener, I had an ex-gardener who used to fight chickens.
00:05:46.000You remember when Michael Vick got in that big, horrible situation when they found out that he was killing dogs and he had dog fights and this terrible thing.
00:06:57.000It becomes like norm for the community, right?
00:06:59.000For someone to have a fucking rooster in the yard.
00:07:02.000We were tripping our balls off in Joshua Tree one night, and it was like 3 or 4 a.m.
00:07:07.000The sun was not out at all, and there was one rooster that in the middle of the night was like...
00:07:14.000And we were always out there, a big group of comedians and us, and we started fucking dying.
00:07:20.000Riffing about this, like, you know, how out of control this chicken's life is where, you know, he's such an idiot that he's balking in the middle of the night.
00:07:28.000All the other chickens are like, there you go, look who's blowing his load early over here.
00:07:31.000We're all on mushrooms, just dying in this premature ejaculating, basically, chicken of the night.
00:07:36.000I wonder if he was blind and he was just like, didn't want anybody to know.
00:08:30.000We have these areas in my chicken coop where they climb up and they put their feet down.
00:08:34.000And we have other areas where they could go into a little chicken house and they could go inside and there's a little roof on the chicken house.
00:09:58.000For not that much money, for what's like in American dollars today, like $50,000, they paid off a bunch of scientists to fake these reports and write reports saying that saturated fat was causing people to have heart disease and get overweight when it was really sugar.
00:10:18.000Not only is cholesterol not bad for you, it depends on what kind of cholesterol.
00:10:21.000There's certain types of cholesterol that people have genetic propensities for that are not good.
00:10:24.000But there's LDL cholesterol, and then there's actually different sizes of different LDL cholesterols, and some of it's actually good for you, and some of it's not good for you, and there's HDL cholesterol.
00:10:36.000Dietary cholesterol, like eating dietary cholesterol, doesn't move the blood lipids.
00:11:54.000You read it and you go, oh my god, this is responsible for who knows how many millions of people making poor dietary choices and perhaps ruining the quality of their life, ruining the amount of energy they have, ruining the amount of inspiration they would have because their body was fucking with them, causing all sorts of premature death and diseases.
00:12:19.000Yeah, I've sort of been talking about it lately.
00:12:21.000I graze upon it in my stand-up about how fats, something that you need, and carbs, which is what makes you fat, is something that you don't need.
00:12:31.000But we call fat people fat, and that's insulting.
00:12:34.000That's why I don't call fat people fat.
00:12:44.000And the issue isn't carbs because carbs with fiber, like some carbs, like Ezekiel bread, it's not bad for you.
00:12:50.000And it's just amazing, though, the marketing of it, though.
00:12:52.000You're right because it's like you're taught that sugar is sweet and sugar is good and give your kids candy on Halloween and sugar, sugar, sugar.
00:15:50.000I mean, there's a lot of preservatives and that stuff.
00:15:52.000Just because something's vegan doesn't mean it's necessarily good for you, because Oreos are vegan too.
00:15:56.000And I'm telling you, it's very true, because I was a vegan for five years, and then my diet fucking completely changed.
00:16:02.000I mean, just steak every day for lunch at some point, whether it's in a sandwich, in a bowl of pho, Well, whatever it is, you know what I mean?
00:16:41.000But I mean, it was also, you know, at the time I had a really, you know, cool, smart girlfriend who was vegan and was cooking amazing stuff, fucking vegan enchiladas once a week that were just mind-blowing and all this stuff.
00:17:20.000But isn't it funny, but if I brought this up to you while you were a vegan, you would just be raving about how much energy you have and how healthy you are.
00:17:28.000Like, that's one thing that people always do, no matter what they're doing.
00:18:22.000It was awful having your friend, especially being on the road, and you just wanted to go to an awesome restaurant, and then I don't know about these options that we have here.
00:19:45.000It's probably one of the things that is before I ever hunted.
00:19:48.000One of the things that put into my head the idea of hunting.
00:19:51.000And he was cutting up this piece of meat and showing how red and dark it was and talking about how many nutrients there was in it and how much more nutritious and healthy it is than store-bought meat that has hormones in it and antibiotics and all this jazz.
00:20:03.000And I remember thinking, that motherfucker's probably right.
00:20:06.000And then the first time I ate Deer meat from an animal that I shot.
00:23:01.000There was an episode where I said, oh, I thought it was bigger than that, and then we found out other places did say it was bigger than that.
00:24:22.000I remember thinking, there's nothing I've ever tasted that was that good.
00:24:27.000Yeah, well, it tastes different than anything.
00:24:28.000I cooked it for my kids the other day, and my wife was saying while we're eating it, sure, I'll take a hit of that, she was like, this does not taste like any other kind of meat.
00:24:35.000Because you're eating a wild animal that's struggling and surviving eating acorns and shit.
00:26:13.000Market hunting wiped out all those animals because they sold them.
00:26:17.000So they made laws, established laws that say you cannot sell wild game.
00:26:22.000So if you go to public land, and there's a good percentage of the hunting that's done in the United States at least, Is done on public land.
00:26:31.000And what that means is Freddie Roosevelt, or Theodore Roosevelt, in his wisdom, realized that we have all this incredible land in the United States.
00:27:44.000We gotta keep this, we gotta figure out a way where everyone can go and enjoy this and not have someone just put a fence around it and make it impossible for people to traverse.
00:27:52.000So they set up all these public lands in this country that are, it's really rare.
00:27:57.000You don't have these giant chunks of land that no one can buy or sell.
00:28:45.000Not only that, when they do that, and they have done that, they do raise wild ones and they put them in these pens and they put fences around them.
00:28:52.000The problem is deer are not supposed to be eating all in the same spot and when they do they develop diseases.
00:28:57.000They don't have immune systems for them.
00:28:59.000So they developed something called chronic wasting disease.
00:29:02.000So it was a giant issue in a lot of parts of the Midwest where they took these animals, and this is just speculation, they don't exactly know what caused this chronic wasting disease, but it didn't exist before these farm systems where they would grow these deer in these pens.
00:29:16.000And so they put these high-fence operations up, these giant chain-link fences.
00:30:04.000It's really expensive, but they can do it.
00:30:06.000Do you think, though, it's not far away that where you could actually buy a certain, like you go to the grocery store, this is fake food, but you can buy like boar and all the game stuff?
00:35:03.000I've just always chuckle hut is like what I picture like the worst comedy club to sound like.
00:35:11.000Yeah man, those things are so important though.
00:35:13.000Without those clubs, I've had this conversation with club owners before to give my thanks, because I think there's a combative relationship that happens between a lot of comics and club owners.
00:35:24.000You know, oh they're trying to fuck us, because everybody has a story, right?
00:35:29.000Everybody has a story where a club owner fucked you over or something happened.
00:35:35.000In the beginning, it's hard to get booked, so you develop this sort of contentious relationship with them in the first place because they don't want to use you because you're not really that good.
00:35:42.000Then things start going for you, and then you start selling tickets, and then you think they're not giving you enough because you sell too many tickets.
00:35:48.000Eventually you realize somewhere along the line, I think hopefully eventually, I did at least, that you fucking need those people.
00:38:10.000But what happened was they had this powerful fucking scene.
00:38:15.000It was like everybody thought about, you thought about LA, you thought about New York, you thought about Boston and San Francisco, and you thought about fucking Houston.
00:39:21.000They did an entire festival in this multi-roomed super warehouse and they have an outdoor parking lot and they put a huge outdoor tent So we were doing like Kill Tony in one room while Joey sold out big ass warehouse like a fucking rave version of Kill Tony.
00:39:38.000And outside in this big open field under a huge tent Joey Diaz just fucking rolling.
00:39:44.000I mean this place has so many rooms and I believe it's a bunch of comics like Got together and bought it.
00:40:26.000You start out there as an open mic-er, you develop your act, and they let you emcee on shows, they teach you how to bring people up, they teach you how to middle, then you learn how to headline, and then all of a sudden you're on the road.
00:40:37.000You can actually become a comic and you can get paid there.
00:40:39.000She has local headliners that started out in her club that'll come down there and do a week and sell tickets.
00:43:18.000Yeah, but it had nothing to do with Delta.
00:43:21.000There was a ground stoppage for the first time in a very long time at LAX, which means any flights that are about to leave from anywhere automatically delayed until further notice because of weather they were at full ground stoppage.
00:43:34.000And about the interrogation thing, I'm on the tarmac.
00:43:38.000The delay was four hours and I was literally fighting back tears.
00:44:13.000But if you get fucked up by a tornado, you just got shit locked.
00:44:16.000They said that 18 people died in Atlanta or whatever that was, but I looked it up, and like 12 of them, or 16-something, there was a very high number of the people were all at one trailer park that basically just got squished.
00:49:53.000She wanted to write a book about her experience.
00:49:56.000So this dude, this is what he would do.
00:49:58.000He had a disco in his house, in one of his many houses, and he would have it filled with all these girls that were making who knows how much money, just tens of thousands of dollars, and he would come out in his fucking gold underwear, and just in slippers, and just slide across the room like he was in that scene with Tom Cruise.
00:52:40.000Our ideas of wealth, of catastrophic wealth, we are so sheltered from the true catastrophic wealth because if we were really exposed to it and we really understood it and then we understood where it came from, we'd understand what the fuck is going on in the world and how bizarre the system of government we have that supports this and allows this kind of shit to happen.
00:54:13.000If you get a chance someday and one day you get to be on Jay Leno's garage, if you get a sick car, get a custom car or something like that, take it.
00:55:10.000I mean, it's the most ridiculous thing you've ever seen in the world, but he drives it.
00:55:13.000He drives all his cars around Burbank all the time.
00:55:16.000You always see him in a fire truck or a lollipop.
00:55:19.000It's gotta be crazy for him seeing Seinfeld doing comedians and cars getting coffee and he's like, I really missed an opportunity on that one.
00:55:31.000I don't want to say it's better, but his show is really about the car.
00:55:36.000Whereas Seinfeld is like, the car is just like a set, where the comic, you know, where Ricky Gervais can pretend that he's laughing hysterically.
00:56:01.000He's talking about suspensions and tires and wheels and, you know, what kind of power steering you're running and what are you doing for the interior, the bolsters in the seats of these stock.
00:58:08.000He's probably making hundreds of thousands of dollars a gig.
00:58:11.000They're flying him out there in a private jet, he does the gig, and he comes back and does The Tonight Show.
00:58:15.000So he would leave The Tonight Show, The Tonight Show tapes during the daytime, he'd be done, he'd fly somewhere on his private jet, do some ridiculous corporate gig, make hundreds of thousands of dollars, and fly right back, and then do it again, and do it again, and do it again.
00:58:28.000And he's making millions of dollars a month doing that.
00:58:57.000Yeah, you don't want to be friends with somebody that's that powerful because if you fuck up or you do something wrong, then you have somebody that powerful that's your enemy.
00:59:07.000There's this guy named Ike or whatever his name is that owns this thing and I got scared.
00:59:15.000Why would you say his name before any other description?
00:59:18.000Because I've talked about it on Joe Rogan before.
00:59:27.000But it was scary because after a while, you're like, you don't want somebody that is going to troll you for life that is that powerful and rich.
00:59:37.000And that's what it felt like with this guy.
00:59:38.000Like, oh, if I get on his side where I become like a Baba Booey or some kind of Howard Stern guy, and he could just fuck with me for the rest of my life, kind of like what they're doing upstairs at the Ding Dong show right now with Perry.
00:59:51.000They're saying that Don's dead right now.
01:00:27.000I'm just saying, if he fucks on that level of eeny, meeny, miny, fucking moe, then what else is he doing for fun on that level that we can't imagine because that's how he fucks, so how does he eat?
01:01:03.000I bet it's one of those things where he probably has food shipped to him every day, so he gets to choose what he wants, and it's always fresh, and they just get rid of what he doesn't eat.
01:01:15.000Because I bet when you have that kind of money, you would probably want to have a full menu where you could pick from whatever you want, even if it was just you eating alone.
01:01:50.000They keep this guy pretty low-key though, huh?
01:01:54.000Well, he keeps himself low-key, particularly now, after that whole thing with that girl writing that article or the book or whatever the fuck she was trying to write.
01:02:02.000After Ramadan, they have a three-day, I don't know if you would have called it a festival or something, but it says that 30,000 locals and visitors arrive each day to banquet at the royal family's palace.
01:03:19.000I'm sorry, I just read something that just said at the end of the feast everyone gets a cake, but he also inserted a clause into the constitution that proclaims, quote, he can do no wrong in either his personal or any official capacity.
01:06:20.000Could you imagine if there's like one guy who was doing this character of your tiny little country and it is a fucking huge smash comedy hit that this...
01:07:36.000I remember, I'll never forget this one, where they had this big hand on a spring that would give guys high fives, and it would come out of nowhere and just fucking nail you and send you flying across the room.
01:07:48.000And they had bags of flour on it, so when it hit, it blew up the flour.
01:07:52.000Yeah, it would hit you in the face and blow you up with flour, and it was fucking huge.
01:08:02.000And I stumbled across Jackass 2.5 recently, which is basically all the footage that they didn't get a chance to use or that was too edgy or came out too extreme for their MTV show Wild Boys.
01:08:16.000Because it turns out that they had to like...
01:08:18.000Have it ready for MTV. It was just different than the shit they were really pulling at this level.
01:08:24.000So anything in which the network heads were like, we can't air that on MTV2 or whatever the fuck Wild Boys was on.
01:08:31.000They just turned it into this super movie of shit that was literally too fucking good for MTV and the show Wild Boys at the time.
01:09:18.000And the other thing about Jackass 2.5 is there's ones that were also like, you could tell a couple of them were just so disgusting that they couldn't put it on MTV. Like my favorite fucking one.
01:09:28.000And it just like, I was dying of laughter.
01:10:20.000And you see him just start to pour the beer on the back of his hand that's just hanging there.
01:10:25.000The back of his hand that has the fingernails on it.
01:10:27.000Right, and all the beer starts rolling down his fingernails, and as the camera pans out, you just start to hear like...
01:10:35.000You just start to hear that noise, and as it pans out, you see Steve-O's laying on his back, on the ground, underneath him, and all that Miller beer is rolling down these fingernails.
01:12:23.000I don't understand people that go off the rails like he does, where they get that fucked up and that crazy, but he's got it, whatever that is.
01:12:37.000A lot of it is, I really honestly believe this, and maybe Andy would probably agree with me, I think some shit happened to him when he was a child.
01:13:22.000As shit-faced and as negative and annoying as he was the other night, he was still sort of killing it through this glaze of just annoyance.
01:13:32.000Of course it was like he was just the Scottie Pippen as Chappelle's Jordan because he was literally heckling Chappelle while he's on stage.
01:14:05.000And then I saw him for the first time since that the other night, and he's sitting in a chair right in the back bar area, like where the employees are.
01:14:13.000He's the only one just sitting there in a chair.
01:14:14.000And I'm like, oh, I... I wonder what happened to Annie as I'm walking up all in one motion.
01:14:19.000As I get closer, I see that at the same time he's licking somebody's arm that he's with, just licking their arm up and down.
01:14:26.000And I'm like, oh no, he's not sober anymore.
01:14:30.000Like his variation of sobriety and not sober, I've never seen him like getting drunk or having a drink.
01:14:37.000I've only seen him absolutely at a thousand miles an hour shit-faced and aggressively sexual continuously.
01:15:37.000Yeah, I think it's a genetic thing too, man.
01:15:40.000There's something about that alcohol that you either got that thing or you don't.
01:15:46.000I'm sitting here, I've only had water tonight, and I'm looking at your drink, and I've had drinks, but I'm not going, I need a fucking drink, I need a fucking drink.
01:15:55.000Some people, they look at that goddamn drink and they just feel it.
01:17:34.000Well that's why people who use it for performance enhancing purposes, they like to not use caffeine during the day normally and then take caffeine before they work out.
01:17:44.000Like say if they have a wrestling match or something like that, a lot of guys will do that, they'll have no caffeine in their diet and then right before they go and fight or something like that, they'll take a caffeine pill.
01:17:54.000And then they get the full effects of it.
01:17:56.000Because of the fact that you're not...
01:20:38.000I roasted Snoop Dogg a few weeks ago, maybe a little over a month ago, and hanging out with him, I've hung out with him a few times, but this time it was...
01:21:07.000Afterwards, we were kicking it like hard fucking core, right?
01:21:11.000Because I had just like honored the shit out of him basically in front of all of his friends in this big cool theater in LA. So, you know, we were hanging and all this stuff.
01:21:20.000And ever since then, he inspired me to smoke more weed.
01:21:23.000Not by saying anything, but just sort of like watching him operate and just realizing like, wow, this guy...
01:21:31.000Just stays laughing and creative all the time.
01:22:22.000One of the roast jokes that I did on Snoop was that he has a cooking show with Martha and when asked what it's like to work with a 75 year old lady, Martha said, not that bad.
01:22:36.000I just put it up on YouTube a couple days ago.
01:22:39.000I tweeted about it, but ever since watching it, actually having the clip, when it cuts back, every time it cuts back to Snoop laughing, my brain is like, I still can't believe that it happened.
01:23:04.000And I was already a very regular, daily, pretty much once I get the bulk of work done in the afternoon, whether I'm writing or just whatever I have to do...
01:23:16.000Or book or whatever responsibilities I have, it's on.
01:23:44.000It might be a different kind of workout you're doing or whatever it is, but just changing things a little bit, changing certain aspects of your life, just a little bit of a turn, a little deviation, something new, a little something different.
01:26:56.000Well, the Kill Tony show was amazing, but the two stand-up shows I had after that, you could tell by the second show I was asking, like, how many of you went to the march earlier?
01:30:22.000If I stepped in as a complete objective observer, I had never had anything to do with the system up until that point, and then I walked in, and they were telling me the projected victory was already to Hillary Clinton before it even started, right?
01:31:02.000I don't think anybody should be president.
01:31:04.000I think there's an article that I tweeted recently that someone tweeted to me and I retweeted it about having a council of wise people, like seven or eight people.
01:31:36.000How many women then were there that voted for Trump?
01:31:39.000Probably none because there's 20 million people in Los Angeles.
01:31:42.000If you have 20 million people in Los Angeles and you got less than a million, it's highly likely that that less than a million didn't vote for them.
01:31:48.000I think there's a lot of secret Trump supporters that are disguising themselves as these people and telling you they're out there because they have to...
01:33:08.000Do you think that having these gigantic marches all over the country like they did, don't you think that's probably a good thing?
01:33:15.000Because a guy like Trump, the last thing he wants is all those people hating him.
01:33:20.000The last thing he wants is to realize that there's never been a president ever in the history of this country that has gotten protested so widely, And so hugely, right after getting into office, right?
01:33:44.000All you did was win the election and get in.
01:33:45.000It almost seems interesting because what if that ends up turning him into, you know, what if, I mean, there's a chance where he just turns on these people and starts fulfilling the prophecies, right?
01:34:22.000Who the fuck knows what's going to happen?
01:34:24.000But one of the things that I'm reading that's really fascinating is they're trying to keep him away from television and criticism because he freaks out and then they don't want him to overreact.
01:34:33.000They don't want him to respond to criticism of him because he keeps making these fucking crazy tweets.
01:34:38.000What's this press secretary or somebody that just put out a thing the other day that was talking about the numbers, how many people were at the thing?
01:36:34.000This is a time lapse from the top of the Washington Monument from the time the day started, like sunrise, until everyone started leaving it.
01:37:18.000See, if you're standing, if there's a bunch of people missing in the middle, you're not going to be able to tell because the people behind it is going to fill in the gap.
01:38:13.000It was raining at the Trump inauguration.
01:38:16.000And how many of those people wear hairspray in respect to Mr. Trump?
01:38:21.000I saw a point someone made, too, that at the time in 2009, I guess, when Obama, when the inauguration happened, there were a lot more people out of work.
01:39:18.000$300,000 or so for 2001 for Bush, $400,000 in 2005, and then $1.8 million for Barack in 2009, and $1 million in 2013. In comparison, Bill Clinton also had 800,093 and 250,097.
01:45:15.000Can you imagine how cool it would be if it was revealed that he did have a breathing problem all of a sudden and had to wear some fucking mask?
01:45:42.000Okay, but you have to, listen, you get this one guy behind this thing.
01:45:46.000He's obviously a guy and his wife, and they got divorced, and now he's a guy and a former escort, and they still run it, and they have a very clear left-wing bias.
01:45:58.000They've been a part of anti-Bush rallies in the past.
01:46:14.000I don't always agree with the criticism, but it's not like they're the end-all be-all when it comes to truth is what's real on the internet.
01:46:21.000No, no, but it's definitely really good for like, say like, hey, hey, they say these tacos are making out of horses, and then they go, here's an article, here's an article.
01:47:41.000The name of the person that posted it is Wild Yucatan Man.
01:47:46.000Y-U-C-A-T-A-N. M-A-N. But it has 1.3 million views.
01:47:51.000Some school, I can't remember the exact school, I found this off Reddit and then just snagged a screenshot a picture of it because I found it so amazing.
01:47:59.000Basically, BBC and NPR is right in the up middle.
01:48:03.000It's above the Washington Post, above New York Times, above NBC and ABC. USA Today and CNN way down at the bottom.
01:48:12.000And it says that The Economist, The Guardian, The Atlantic, and The Wall Street Journal are basically the best minimal partisan bias, mainstream, but still reputable.
01:48:21.000What they say about The Wall Street Journal is because it deals with the financial markets and because you can't have just a clear editorial bias that leans one way or the other that's going to affect business.
01:48:31.000They're not going to tolerate that shit.
01:48:32.000They want to know what the fuck is really going on, clean and clear, without all your hippie logic thrown into it.
01:48:41.000What do you think about RT? RT, Russia Today?
01:50:25.000There's no one who's saying anything that might make the other side look good or might soften someone's point of view.
01:50:32.000Hillary Clinton is a thief and a liar and she's profiting and the Clinton Foundation is a problem and she needs to go to jail and anybody else would be in jail and taxes and this and that and fucking real estate scandals.
01:50:45.000And then you go to the other side and it's all sexual assault.
01:50:48.000Donald Trump, sexual assault, accused of sexual assault.
01:50:51.000A woman accuses him of sexual assault.
01:50:54.000This video, the grab the pussy video, it was all concentrating on that.
01:50:59.000And that's another crazy thing about this study is that comparatively, according to this huge crazy study that they did, Fox News, while completely leaning right, but still reputable.
01:52:00.000I love the fact that you could have a clear and obvious short-haired lesbian woman with an Ivy League education being like your mouthpiece.
01:53:31.000And Dan Patrick recently, I think, got back in good graces a little bit.
01:53:34.000Or maybe it was Olbermann did and Dan Patrick is still completely, like, you're not, don't talk to Dan Patrick is what they kind of, to, like, It's like a big no-no.
01:57:33.000It was Olbermann that was actually banned from ESPN's main campus.
01:57:37.000That's why when he came back, he was doing a show from New York in Times Square from an ABC sub-studio.
01:57:43.000He just had lots of run-ins starting in 1997. He went on The Daily Show when it was still hosted by Craig Kilborn, who was a former ESPN co-anchor with them.
02:00:57.000No, I'm talking about that there's a statement there that is a thing in which, and I've seen it, those people that push themselves into that back alley that are always trying to smoke pot with everybody, they're never the ones that end up fucking doing anything.
02:01:11.000They're always the ones in which it's like, I found out I'm having to move back home.
02:02:09.000Yeah, because I think there's a way to do it, and I think it happens organically and naturally, and people that overdo it, it's just gross.
02:02:16.000The people that overdo it are almost always not that funny.
02:02:19.000Yeah, and I do it a lot, but I do it my own way, you know what I mean?
02:03:57.000I mean, there's a guy or two that I've worked with in the small roast writers world that I've worked in that are literally pulling a huge favor, man.
02:04:12.000Maybe the people feel bad for this guy, you know what I mean, or whatever, but he's lazy and doesn't do much.
02:04:20.000Sort of just gets to phone it in while everybody else is writing the actual thing.
02:10:40.000I mean, what percentage of ideas that you start out with that you bring to the stage eventually wind up making it onto a special or making it into your act permanently?
02:15:16.000It's nuts how it's probably like a microscopic fraction of a difference, like a stroke, what it hits and what it doesn't hit, you know what I mean?
02:15:24.000Well, it could hit any portion of your brain, but the portion that it hit on his brain just affect motor skills, apparently, fortunately for him.
02:15:32.000But fuck, man, what a weird feeling to know that your body's just kind of like short-circuiting like that.
02:22:29.000I showed you the trailer for this on the podcast and I mistakenly said it was the guy from the Kevin Smith movie and you called it out as the guy from Avatar, like the general from Avatar.
02:22:52.000And these people get it, and it turns them frantic.
02:22:57.000And this one girl, I think they're using, according to the trailer, they're using her to make a vaccine.
02:23:06.000But these fucking pandemic disease movies where people go crazy and start killing each other, they seem a little scarier now that Trump's in office.
02:23:36.000He's going to be there for 20 years, and he'll leave, but he'll make sure that somebody who's his friend gets elected, and he'll be his advisor, and he'll be right there with him, then his son will get in.
02:24:05.000They take everything from everybody's thing and completely scratch it.
02:24:09.000And then they put up the new page with the new president who doesn't give a fuck about LBGT, who doesn't give a fuck about climate change, and who doesn't give a fuck about civil rights.
02:24:29.000You don't think they would have a website in place?
02:24:30.000I read a whole thing, and maybe, again, I can't cite the source, because like I told you earlier, I'm smoking twice as much weed as I ever have before in my life.
02:24:40.000But I read that that's a thing that happened when Barack took office.
02:24:45.000A lot of this stuff, by the way, that's happening is stuff that It's a very regular thing.
02:24:51.000People are freaking out about his cabinet picks, but I read a whole thing on that where it's like, yeah, that's how this stuff works.
02:24:59.000You still have to get approved by the Senate.
02:25:01.000His cabinet picks tell a lot about his intentions, like the guy, the former Exxon CEO. But don't you think that's sort of good to have?
02:25:10.000Do you know that he put a five-year...
02:25:12.000He's the first president to say that you can't just go join lobbies and you can't get rich.
02:25:17.000You're not going to get rich off of me.
02:25:19.000So I think maybe if that guy who he interviewed, who's Trump known for hiring people, that's what his specialty is...
02:25:27.000If he hired that guy for a reason, and if it's because he's such a fucking freak that he might be one of the people to fix the economy, look how much money he made Mobile X on, I'm just saying that if he's right, then fuck, that'd be so great.
02:25:46.000See, the problem is, everyone knows there's a real transparent deal that Obama blocked, where Exxon was trying to drill, and they were trying to make this deal with Russia, and Exxon got cock-blocked by Obama.
02:25:59.000And now that Obama's out, and the former Exxon CEO is in, People are wondering, are they doing something that the environmentalists think could potentially be a huge disaster, and are they doing it for profit?
02:27:08.000So, I mean, it's one of those things where it's like, at least we're learning that if you do have to make some sacrifices and protest in a certain situation like that, that maybe it will work, I guess.
02:27:19.000It is interesting that it happened under Obama's watch and he didn't do jack shit about it.
02:28:00.000Well, we didn't anticipate this, but apparently when you frack and drill holes in the ground, the earth shifts, and we have some serious earthquakes.
02:28:09.000And unfortunately, because of that shifting, some of that shit has gotten into the water supply.
02:28:14.000And that's where they are right now in Oklahoma.
02:28:18.000Oklahoma, they're having a fuckton of earthquakes, and they're trying to figure out what to do, because these guys are just digging holes in the ground.
02:28:52.000We're choking birds and lighting fires.
02:28:55.000They're going to tap our natural resources on federal lands according to the first energy plan on the White House website.
02:29:04.000It says we have, this is the quote from, we must take advantage of the estimated $50 trillion in untapped shale, oil, and natural gas reserves, especially those on federal lands that the American people own.
02:29:20.000That's a terrible thing, because that's what we were talking about with Teddy Roosevelt, the public land, and having public land, and how it's such a huge issue, and such an amazing resource, like places like Yellowstone, like all these...
02:29:34.000Places where you can go and hike and camp and fish and hunt and enjoy this insane piece of nature that we have here.
02:30:21.000Or we'll sneak one in here where we don't have people coming down and knocking on the door and trying to take selfies in front of the door.