In this week's episode, the boys discuss the perils of taking too much MCT oil and how to deal with it. Plus, we talk about butt sex, and why it's not as simple as you might think it is. Plus, a special guest joins us on the show to talk about her experience with butt sex and why she thinks butt sex should be legalized in the U.S. A.Y.A. is a great place to talk to your friends and family about sex, but it's also a place where you can talk about anything and everything else you can think of, so you don't want to miss it! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. The theme of this episode is Come Alone by Suneaters, courtesy of Lotuspool Records. All rights reserved. Used w/ permission from the creator. If you enjoyed this episode please leave us a review and/or a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. We'll be looking out for your feedback. Thank you so much for all the support, and we'll be sure to make sure to give you the best reviews and reviews in the future of the podcast. Love ya, bye! Timestamps: 0:00 - 1:15 - 2:30 - 3:40 - What do you think of butt sex? 4: What's your favorite part of the episode? 5: Do you have a butt? 6:10 - What would you like to see in a butt sex scene? 7:00 8:00: What kind of ass? 9:00 + 9: what do you would you'd like to have anal sex in your butt sex in the next one? 11:00 Is it a little bit more? 12:00 Do you want to hear more of that? 13:00 Can I have sex in my butt sex with your butt or butt sex ? 14:00 What are you would like it? 15:30 16: what's your own butt sex story? 17: What you're a girl do you want me send me a picture of your ass or anal sex? / 16:00 Would you like me send it in the butt sex piece? 19:00 Should I do that in a pot? 21:00 Are you a hoe?
00:03:23.000I was thinking about, like, because I was like, I'm coming on the show tomorrow, and I felt like the last couple times I did the show, I was like, I feel like I was in a weirdly, like, I was talking about, like, I had just come back from Vietnam with deformed babies.
00:05:50.000I mean, it was, and I couldn't stop thinking about it, because I was, of course, like, I had just, we had been texting about, I came back from Tulsa, and I had a connection, and I was like, I have a, like, I... You were on what Bill Hicks used to call the Flying Saucer Tour.
00:09:22.000And he had never seen a labia before because in a lot of porn they have labioplasties and they remove them.
00:09:28.000So he sees this horrific chicken gizzard and he thinks that she's deformed or has a giant skin tag because in porn they don't have a lot of it.
00:09:38.000Is that that common that they get their labia chopped off?
00:10:04.000The same reason why Ron Jeremy was a big time porn star.
00:10:07.000Because, like, people looked at Ron Jeremy fucking these girls, and they're like, hey, if Ron Jeremy can fuck these girls, it's not like Ryan Reynolds.
00:10:14.000It's like, I kind of look like Ron Jeremy, and he's getting laid.
00:13:01.000And also I've gotten kind of obsessed with this because I recently did a movie where, and you know, when you do stuff, you do like focus group testing.
00:13:10.000And there was a scene in the movie where Blake Griffin, the basketball player, really funny actor, like he's great in it, is with Cecily Strong.
00:13:19.000And the scene was that I wrote it with Neil Brennan, actually, that he walks in on his wife masturbating and what that is.
00:13:28.000You know, like women walking on men, guys masturbate all the time, but how he takes it personally and, you know, it's sort of a threat to his masculinity and manhood and he's insulted and his feelings are hurt and all this stuff.
00:13:39.000And so she's at a table and there's a computer and that's the deal.
00:13:44.000I guess I just put my own experience into it.
00:13:47.000I just assume everyone masturbates the same way to the same things, the same vibe.
00:13:51.000When we played it for the focus groups, everyone was so confused about what was going on when he comes in and sees her at the desk with her hands under the table.
00:15:48.000Anonymous Strangers feedback is how I seek the truth, and that's who I listen to.
00:15:53.000Like, I would rather Anonymous Strangers feedback than, like, a network executive who's, like, got all these, you know, sort of preconceived ideas of what a show should be like based on some formulaic thing that worked 10 years ago.
00:16:07.000You know, the involuntary laugh, that's, to me, where the truth is.
00:16:10.000So I have a complicated relationship with focus groups, because I really do trust Strangers.
00:16:15.000Well, you kind of have to if you're a comic.
00:16:18.000You know, because we have a weird art form in that we're one of the very few art forms that requires other people to make it form.
00:16:34.000I mean, you can write a few jokes on their own and they come out really good, but you can never write an act.
00:16:39.000Like, have you ever, and I know a bunch of comics that do this, like, if I'm sitting in a vacuum, like, writing jokes, I can be like, oh, this is funny, and you go do, you know, it's very, I mean, I feel like I'm gonna, I definitely have a, I'm usually pretty close, but there are times that it's just like, Yeah.
00:16:55.000There is not a linear relationship with what I think.
00:18:51.000The focus group thing, I just can't imagine that no one would understand that a woman with her hands in her pants watching a computer wouldn't be masturbating.
00:21:38.000I was thinking about this because I always am trying to equate our primordial instincts that we have not evolved past and with modern technology and alarm systems and how we get out those impulses in the modern world.
00:21:52.000You know, did you hear about these food trucks that were in downtown LA? They're like these awesome food trucks who in every day are at a different location and guys go on Twitter to find where they are.
00:22:10.000I never equated that before, but I guess kind of.
00:22:13.000If men have a primordial need to chase things and go kill and slay or whatever it is, so if there's an inherent need to be violent, let's say, and people don't get to do what you do and a lot of people that you talk to do, do they...
00:22:49.000Yeah, and while I think road rage, when you see people in road rage incidents, the likelihood of them coming straight from a jiu-jitsu class and having road rage is almost zero.
00:23:20.000And I think our bodies, I always describe our bodies as like a leaky battery, that we have a certain amount of reward systems that are built into our bodies, fight and flight, and worrying about how to gather food, and worrying about incoming tribes that are going to rape and kill us.
00:23:33.000And I think those things are just ingrained in our DNA, and they don't get met or even addressed at all in modern society.
00:23:40.000I have a friend of mine who has a really bad neck.
00:25:48.000It's probably MCTO. It's MCTO. No, but I have gotten so—it's amazing, and I'm just always fascinated by—and we're seeing it, you know, I think everyone's—it's sort of a zeitgeisty word right now, normalization or desensitization.
00:26:00.000I'm obsessed with how we acclimate, because I think it's our human instinct to acclimate to some kind of pain or lower our tolerance to deal with— Consistent pain or discomfort or whatever.
00:28:29.000There's a weird thing about the hunting lions thing, too, because a lot of them, they're in these high fence places where they go and these lions are kind of trapped in these areas.
00:28:37.000And sometimes they actually release the lion the day of the hunt.
00:28:55.000So to me, that's a mentally ill person.
00:28:58.000But my question for you is that is there something primordial about because I think, you know, we are I think inherently and this is going to sound wrong or it's going to sound like feminist, whatever.
00:29:12.000But like there's a lot of evidence that we're matriarchal species, not that women should have more.
00:29:19.000Orca whales, lions, female lions do all the hunting.
00:29:23.000It's not economical for their energy because they're so big to do the hunting.
00:29:27.000They'd have to kill twice as much food.
00:29:52.000I think it's more in line of watching a woman cage fight.
00:29:55.000Like, there's some really pretty women that fight now.
00:29:58.000Because I'm always sort of in this thing, and people always tell me, like, I have alpha vibe, and that's not sexy to men, or it is, or is it case by case, or is it a generalization?
00:30:19.000I would imagine that a guy who doesn't test himself or a person who's not accomplished would be very insecure around someone who's got more ambition and more drive and more irons in the fire than they do.
00:31:48.000An incredibly strong, clear one that anybody could say in one sentence, but part of it is because you're so authentic and anti- You know, conscientious, calculated marketing that the word is anathema to your brand.
00:32:05.000Well, that's one of the big issues in the quote-unquote hunting community about a lot of these girls that are involved in this hunting.
00:32:14.000You don't know, so I'm going to explain it to you.
00:32:16.000There's this whole movement where these pretty girls have...
00:32:30.000And authentic, and let me just ask you, because I really want to understand, and this is maybe a generalization about men and women, but do you think women have the DNA and the true reward system?
00:32:43.000Are they getting dopamine from, are they inherent hunters?
00:32:48.000The same way women like playing sports, they would love hunting.
00:33:41.000And some of them are unquestionably authentic, but some of them are unquestionably targeting social media and these specific avenues of getting famous and making a living.
00:33:53.000And inside the hunting community, it's a very hotly debated subject about whether or not some of these women are legit, and who is legit, and who's...
00:34:27.000Yeah, why do they have their ass hanging out with a thong, with their legs sort of exposed in bed where they're pretending that they're sleeping?
00:34:34.000And why are millions of people looking at them?
00:36:38.000Like, this is gonna, my whole day is gonna be dedicated to, like, obsessing about, you know?
00:36:43.000So I think I'm doing something that's kind of under the guise of self-protection or boundaries, but I actually end up robbing myself a little bit by, like, I went through that discovery page, and there's photos that I don't want to see, because I do a lot of, like, dog rescue, and then you end up getting a lot of, Seeing beheaded dogs,
00:37:00.000and the Chinese dog, and I don't want to see it.
00:37:03.000I'm too hypervigilant, and I'm just too, like, I have, you know, trauma survivors, we don't have the same ability to calm ourselves down, and so it just will, the aftermath is just too much for me, so I went in, and on the discovery page, you can put,
00:37:19.000see less photos like this, so I'm now narrowing my sort of...
00:37:50.000I feel like I know so much about you, but I know nothing about you.
00:37:54.000But I had this guy, this security guy, come to my house and he said the best security system is putting chimes on all of your doorknobs because people that break in, they expect an alarm and then they know they have like three minutes or something.
00:38:08.000But if they open a doorknob and there's some dreamcatcher making a bunch of noise, they freak out.
00:38:23.000For me, the thing with me is that I'm not the same functional mental acumen that you have.
00:38:32.000And all the work that I do to try to rewire my brain, it's very hard to practice.
00:38:37.000In the problem, you know, it's very hard to practice, you know, without something where the ramifications aren't going to be huge.
00:38:44.000Like practicing on people is just sort of, you know, if people are so triggering that it's hard to get out of the fight or flight sort of fear mindset if you're with the very kind of person that triggers you.
00:38:55.000So animals are a great way for me to work on the things that I'm working on.
00:39:02.000I have sort of like, just because of how I grew up, I grew up in an alcoholic home.
00:39:08.000And anyone that has like an authority sort of vibe, my brain, and we all, I think, tend to kind of do this if we're not like checking ourselves in our conscious mind.
00:39:22.000I'm just trying to make sure I don't go through my life where everybody's a projection of what happened to me.
00:39:28.000Just sort of being in this moment instead of this network executive is my dad and this, you know, the guy that runs this comedy club is my mom.
00:39:54.000You know, for me, it doesn't really happen anymore, but when I was younger, places and people that I knew when I was a loser would make me feel like I was a loser again.
00:40:04.000Of course, you just time travel back, and all of a sudden you're eight years old.
00:40:18.000We, comedians, the idea is to see things that no one else sees.
00:40:22.000But I find myself struggling a lot as I, you know, do what I do for a living when I deal with ostensible authority figures, recreating my childhood circumstances.
00:40:32.000And I also had, and I'm interested in your opinion or view on this, is...
00:40:38.000I mean, I have a very real addiction to adrenaline.
00:40:40.000And it doesn't manifest in, you know, MMA or the kind of adrenaline that you experience and see.
00:40:47.000But I had epigenetic imprinting, like, which is when in the womb, your mom has a lot of stress, cortisol and adrenaline, the baby gets addicted to it.
00:40:56.000So just like crack or anything, we can be addicted to neurochemicals.
00:40:59.000So from a very early age, I had a really high tolerance for adrenaline.
00:41:04.000And I find myself or found myself not so much anymore, like, How do they prove that that's what happens to the child?
00:41:17.000Because I would assume that how much of it would just be genetic and how much of it would be circumstantial and how do you prove that while this woman's under stress in the womb because I think you would have to because one thing you realize when you do have children is that every kid is different But every pregnancy is probably different.
00:41:35.000Because the first one, the mom is probably like, I've never done this before.
00:42:02.000Yeah, I just, I think that there's most certainly got to be some way that nature prepares the human for the circumstances it's going to face as a child.
00:43:08.000Is it better to be hypersensitive and hyper-fueled and always ready to sprint and then figure out how to calm yourself?
00:43:17.000Or is it better to be just some dough ball with no instincts at all that has to toughen up?
00:43:24.000I mean, I think that the answer is probably somewhere in between, and the idea is to be able to react to the circumstances you're in in an appropriate way.
00:43:31.000So if you're in a dangerous situation, to be able to go zero to 60 and defend yourself.
00:43:36.000But if you're not in a dangerous situation, to know that and to stop shadowboxing in a safe situation.
00:43:42.000So for me, I found myself, I grew up in a dangerous situation.
00:43:47.000The war was over, and I continued to fight a war that wasn't happening.
00:43:51.000You're like one of those guys that was in World War II and they find him on some island outside of Japan and he doesn't know the war's over.
00:44:25.000You know, one of the first things I heard in the 12-step program I'm in is this guy said, he was leading the meeting, he was like, the war is over, you lost.
00:44:44.000So if you and I, you know, are in a relationship and you're like, hey, I got to step out and go do my podcast and I start feeling abandoned and scared, that has nothing to do with you.
00:44:59.000It's like, I'm going to react to the present moment instead of what happened to me 20 years ago.
00:45:02.000I don't want to be a puppet of my parents' failures.
00:45:05.000And I'm just trying to figure out a way.
00:45:06.000So there are situations where you might have to go zero to 60 and fight for yourself, but knowing when those situations are actually happening and when they're not.
00:45:14.000Yeah, I feel like it's better to be able to go zero to 60 really quick.
00:46:01.000In our field, that's just called a law school degree.
00:46:05.000There was a guy that used to live next door to me, and I used to call him Bling Bling, because all Bling Bling would do is talk about stuff.
00:46:25.000And this guy was working, I think he was an attorney, I forget what he did, but all he was doing was working towards objects, getting new objects.
00:48:18.000Oh, F-E-N, not P-H-E-N. Fenfluramine, fentermine.
00:48:23.000I remember when like diet pills, like Dexatrim came out, which I definitely took when I was like 12. But what is that, just like caffeine or something?
00:51:53.000Because you get this idea in your head that you're going to find this guy, and he's got a good job, and you're going to live in a nice community, and you're going to have children, and then you're going to be happy.
00:52:37.000It's been very effective and useful in our history.
00:52:40.000It's like this is the first time in our history that anxiety is not particularly useful because we have doors and locks and, you know, but yeah, there's an interesting...
00:52:51.000I hear entitlement when I hear about that.
00:52:53.000And look, I've definitely been like, I'm doing a show and I have to write a script and I'm going to take an...
00:52:57.000I've definitely cheated and cut corners.
00:53:22.000I don't like when people diagnose themselves, I have ADD, I have OCD. It's like, if you had any of those things, you wouldn't be able to sit on a podcast for an hour and say it.
00:53:30.000We'll get to that in a minute, but go ahead.
00:53:32.000No, what it does for me, and again, it could be a placebo effect.
00:53:35.000So many of these things that we take, maybe with the exception of amphetamines, but certainly antidepressants and stuff, is taking it is part of why it works.
00:53:43.000Just the act of putting it in your mouth and swallowing it.
00:53:46.000I think placebo effect is something like 58% or something.
00:53:49.000Correct me on that because I'm probably wrong, please.
00:53:53.000So for me, I find if I'm at my computer, because all these devices are all addictive too.
00:53:58.000The color, the cortisol, the adrenaline.
00:53:59.000So if I've got this device in front of me, I've got my computer and I'm writing, writing, writing, and this dings and I'm here and then I'm on Instagram and then there's a link and then all of a sudden I'm reading about the apocalypse.
00:54:16.000And then I just can't end of an exchange.
00:54:19.000And basically, when I've taken Adderall in the past, I just do one thing with more enthusiasm and it is less appealing to me to go do other things.
00:54:27.000The other day I put my phone down to work out.
00:56:33.000I think it's just knowing, I mean, you said this earlier, like, knowing who you are and what your limitations are and what actually works for you and what starts being, you know, diminishing returns.
00:56:43.000Like, I know if I smoke pot every night, it's not going to be as effective for me and I'm going to be groggy.
00:56:48.000Like, I just, I have some restraint about it and some discipline.
00:57:03.000And I'll tell you about this next time I come on, because I am writing about it in a book, and it's a long story.
00:57:08.000But I had a surgery, and I don't do well on painkillers by some miracle, because genetically, my family loves painkillers, but I, for some reason, they make me really nauseous.
00:57:20.000And I was smoking weed instead, but I was also, like, I don't know what your take on this is, but my lungs were, I was like, getting out of breath.
00:57:58.000It's a hard seat, and you're slamming and tapping it back, but there is this one class that I really like, and I like the instructor, and I just kind of cry and release anger and stuff, and it's painful, and I'm...
00:58:12.000Yes, because there's something about, for me, when I feel a certain amount of emotional pain, it just, like, opens up some kind of...
00:58:18.000Well of sadness that if I didn't cry it out, it's going to come out as anger another time, so I'd rather just release it in a healthy, private way and pay $38 in class.
00:59:54.000Honestly, the way they think you're supposed to do it now, they think you're supposed to actually train at sea level and then sleep and live at altitude.
01:00:04.000So if you could live at the base of Big Bear and then drive up to Big Bear to get your workouts in and then drive down to live and sleep.
01:00:11.000Because the idea is, or the opposite, yeah, drive down to get your workouts and drive back up to live and sleep.
01:00:15.000Because they think that you get more work output in sea level.
01:02:52.000I think CrossFit can be very dangerous because there's a lot of people that do CrossFit and they don't really have perfect technique and they do it to failure and you're doing these incredibly high repetitions of power moves.
01:03:04.000You know, like, which Steve Maxwell, who's a real world-famous strength and conditioning coach, he's like, that's, he's like power moves, like cleans and presses.
01:03:12.000You're supposed to do low repetition for them.
01:03:14.000They're supposed to generate extreme force.
01:03:18.000Pavel Tatsulin, who's like the godfather of kettlebells in America, he brought him over from Russia, he believes you shouldn't do anything more than five repetitions, no matter what you do.
01:03:28.000Is this because CrossFit attracts such a type A, overachiever type of person, that the desire for overachieving supersedes the logic of what actually is effective?
01:03:41.000Well, there's a philosophy behind it, and I think that philosophy can be effective for some people.
01:03:45.000And I'm very hypocritical if I say don't do something that causes injuries because I've had a ton of surgeries from martial arts and injuries from jujitsu.
01:03:53.000But was it like a collision injury or was it just an overtime stress?
01:03:59.000Injuries from knees getting yanked and twisted, shoulders getting popped out of sockets.
01:04:04.000But you didn't get it from working out.
01:04:14.000I'm not an athlete, but to get injured while you're practicing.
01:04:17.000While you're in the thing, you can't necessarily control that.
01:04:22.000CrossFit competitions are particularly scary to me because there was one video of this guy who owned a CrossFit gym and he was involved in a competition and he was doing these clean presses and his body literally gave out and he dropped the weight on the back of his neck and now he's paralyzed from the rest of his life.
01:04:37.000And there's a video of it and it's horrific to watch.
01:04:40.000Someone sent me one where someone's anal sphincter came out.
01:06:03.000Yeah, he had a bunch of different issues, and cancer, and I forget what the medication he thought it was, but he realized after taking it wasn't his, and then it was an Adderall, and he's like, oh, fuck.
01:06:14.000So he called his doctor up, and he told his doctor, hey man, I fucked up, I thought it was this, but it's Adderall, like what...
01:06:39.000It's unbelievable how prolific you are, but it starts to backfire.
01:06:43.000So I remember when I was like, this is working, I kept doing it, and then the aftermath was like, I couldn't fall asleep that night, and then I was even more tired the next day, which meant I needed to take more.
01:06:50.000It just becomes an addiction, and it stops being that effective if you overuse it.
01:06:54.000Tate Fletcher put something on his Instagram today about the strongest cup of coffee in the world, and it's from Australia.
01:07:01.000They made this cup of coffee that you're supposed to sip over the course of three to four hours, and it is half a lethal dose.
01:08:14.000I mean, look, it's my goal because I, by the time I was like 28 or 20, well, maybe it was, I noticed it when I was 31 because I froze my eggs when I was 31. And this is maybe when I noticed it, that at 31, I was on five medications.
01:11:32.000Well, I think for me, especially with the political climate when people go up and make political speeches, it's like, okay, how much did you donate this year?
01:15:03.000It's basically when your cartilage inflames and it was in my chest.
01:15:08.000It's like a relative of plural C, basically.
01:15:11.000And I did have pneumonia and didn't treat it, but I had so much stress in my back that the cartilage or my ribs started rubbing, I guess, against each other.
01:15:19.000And I went to this rheumatologist who was like, oh, you're hypermobile, which means you don't walk with your muscles, you walk with your joints.
01:15:25.000That's where all of the impact goes, and you need to relearn how to walk.
01:15:29.000So you need to cushion yourself with your muscles?
01:17:28.000So I went to a bunch of doctors and their solution is they were like well, we can put filler They called it that one guy called it a pillar like we build a pillar to fill it in and I was like no I'm a comedian I can't just get a new face like I I can't do the Joan Rivers thing like it's just not the carrot top or whatever and and basically He explained to me,
01:19:01.000Women are valued by this, men are sort of valued by their brute, right?
01:19:05.000Yeah, so when a guy starts Botoxing his face, like, I've met guys before and their forehead doesn't move, I'm like, what's going on with your forehead, bro?
01:20:10.000Well, the laser is like, is it similar to like, they say that women get more wrinkles around their face than men because men exfoliate when they shave.
01:21:55.000It's like, you know, I'm always fascinated by non-physical forms of aggression.
01:21:59.000Like eye contact is a form of aggression.
01:22:00.000And a lot of like, if you walked into a bar and made eye contact with a guy for more than 10 seconds, he'd be like, oh, I mean, not just because you're Joe Rogan, but if you were anyone, like eye contact is like...
01:22:35.000I started making it in college, and I would go to these breakdancing competitions in the Bronx, and I was fascinated by when there's breakdance battles, if violence goes down in the area, kind of like what we were talking about earlier today.
01:23:04.000So if comedy and a lot of my stand-up comes from a place of self-defense, and the implication is you're my attacker, so I think that I probably like, you know, it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
01:23:15.000See, I always imagine that your kind of comedy comes from you being forced to analyze your surroundings.
01:23:36.000I was a judge on one of the ones this year, but I used to do just the Rose.
01:23:39.000You were a judge on the Comedy Central one and we were fucking howling because we were in the Comedians Bar at the Comedy Store and you were that young girl, Olivia...
01:23:57.000Yeah, and you were going on about her being brave and overcoming trauma and this and that.
01:24:04.000And we're like, Jesus Christ, Whitney, she can't help but psychologically analyze this young lady.
01:24:10.000Well, here's the thing, because Rose Battle is so interesting to me, because when people aren't famous, you just have to attack their personal life.
01:24:17.000And she was on the one that I did recently, the taped one, and everyone was like, Olivia's been raped by a black guy.
01:24:23.000And I was just like, are we just all going to pretend?
01:24:26.000I mean, because, you know, comedy is our anesthesia and we make jokes to deflect and to not have to really deal with it.
01:24:30.000But I was just like, don't get it twisted.
01:24:32.000Like, you're going to have to deal with being raped one day.
01:24:34.000Like, we're all laughing and you're going to get a paycheck at the end of this?
01:25:27.000Yeah, and then in, I think, Montreal or something, she fell off the stage, and it ripped her calf open, and then she did the roast battle the next night in a wheelchair.
01:25:36.000Yeah, she's a warrior, but I, as someone who, I'm not comparing my experience to her, but someone who was 20, who started doing comedy, who joked about my pain, that shit caught up with me.
01:26:16.000But it is a temporary way, I think, to get your power back over your damage, or is to alchemize it or sublimate it into something lucrative or positive.
01:26:25.000Like, my negative experience kind of paid for my house.
01:26:27.000But there's a certain point, and I'm fascinated, like, you know, because I personally think, I mean, I can't speak for every field, but in our field in particular, I think we've lost a couple too many comedians to suicide that just kind of come out of nowhere.
01:26:39.000And everyone's like, how did that happen?
01:26:48.000So, you know, I think it just, you know, it's not my business necessarily, but whenever I see a young comic, I'm just like, let me know if you ever want to talk about it.
01:29:03.000And how you self-destruct after you, you know, humans, we don't like things being taken away from us, but especially being seen, and we feel safe or dopamine or whatever it is from being seen, and then we're not seen anymore.
01:29:13.000And porn is probably the most insidious in a way, because, like, I mean, I even find myself, and I'm not as famous as you, I'm not, like, but when I don't know if people know me or not, I get, I feel really unsafe.
01:29:28.000Like, if I'm sitting next to someone on a plane, and this happens, you know, kind of a lot, and I'm like, okay, cool, he doesn't recognize me, I change my hair color, you know, a lot of people don't recognize me now, and we're cool, and I'm doing this, and I'm, like, doing my dumb, writing my dick jokes, and I'm picking my nose, or doing whatever I'm doing, and at the end of the flight,
01:29:43.000he's like, I just want to let you know I'm a big fan.
01:29:45.000And I'm like, wait, I thought we had an agreement that we were just strangers and now you've completely betrayed.
01:29:53.000And then I just get into this weird Hitchcock paranoia of who knows me, who doesn't.
01:30:17.000I don't know, it feels like a very pernicious existence, like, not knowing who knows you and who doesn't, and everyone pretending they don't know you.
01:33:13.000I mean, is there any other field that has that few people besides, like, Tiffany glass makers or something?
01:33:19.000Yeah, like neuroscientists or something.
01:33:21.000I feel like there's one at every college.
01:33:24.000And there's how many colleges in America?
01:33:26.000But there's a lot of shit comics, too, just like there's probably a lot of shit neurosurgeons.
01:33:30.000Yeah, but there is this sort of false...
01:33:32.000I mean, granted, to be a comedian, we're probably in fight-or-flight mode anyway, or some sort of competitive thing, because it's so hard to do that if you do make it, there's a very specific neurology there.
01:33:41.000But the competition among comedians is so odd to me.
01:34:06.000I constantly was reading psychology books and self-help books and constantly trying to analyze my mind because I knew that insecurity was tripping me up, whether it was in...
01:35:12.000And then somewhere along the line, like a couple years in, I started doing that again.
01:35:16.000I started being a fan of comedy again, and then I started running with it.
01:35:19.000And then I realized how few people did that, and then I became super supportive of all the other comedians around me, and then developed a whole clan of people that do that.
01:35:29.000So if you've noticed, my friends, all my really closest comedy friends, were all super supportive of I love that about you.
01:35:57.000Like, you don't get good by denying that other people are good.
01:36:00.000You get good at respecting the fact that other people are good, looking at yourself and your objective analysis of your own skills, and then realize, like, wow, I got a lot of work to do to reach that guy's level.
01:36:09.000Yeah, and I was like, look at me like, you know, and I definitely had that in the beginning a lot, too, where, I mean, in the beginning, for me, there was so much about just dealing with aggressive people and recreating my childhood circumstances.
01:36:19.000You weren't really there when I first started the Comedy Store.
01:36:22.000You sort of had your respite from the Comedy Store.
01:36:55.000It's an amazing story where every night when I would go on stage, you know, there's like, in the Comedy Store original room, which is sort of our, at least my kind of like, was my church in a lot of ways, and my home, sick as that sounds, like there's a back booth,
01:37:11.000like that back row of booths that's kind of for VIPs and like Mitzi Shore.
01:37:46.000And I got so scared that someone was, because basically what a security person that helped me said, someone who you're probably with all the time took your credit card, copied it, and then put it back in your wallet.
01:37:58.000Like, because someone had, remember, there was that big Bank of America scandal where they copied like 2,000 credit cards.
01:38:27.000He told me later, like, we just thought it was an innocent prank and thought it would be funny, but then you started crying and then we were all freaked out.
01:38:34.000So he didn't even give you your backpack once you started crying?
01:38:37.000We have to ask Ari how it ended up, because I did his podcast a couple years ago and he told me.
01:38:42.000You can't ask Ari because Ari is hiding.
01:38:44.000I don't know if you know this, but listen, I'm going to play this for everybody because I've been playing Ari's voicemail message because when you call him up, it says, at the subscriber's request, incoming calls have been blocked.
01:40:01.000Well, when he was really young, he was like a test subject.
01:40:04.000From 5 to like 17, his family put him on Ritalin.
01:40:08.000His doctors, whatever, whoever it was.
01:40:10.000But he would be like, all day, he used to be like, gritting his teeth and holding, and then after school was over, he would be like, crashed.
01:41:15.000And he'll call his travel agent, and the travel agent says, yeah, we can get you out to Bali.
01:41:20.000By the way, only flies economy, because even though he's fucking wealthy as shit, drives a shitty Mazda 6, Is that like a masochistic thing?
01:41:56.000Yeah, they were at the Edinburgh Fest and they started talking and the podcast is amazing because Henry was talking about how he's been doing this.
01:42:04.000He's been to over a hundred countries.
01:42:06.000He travels all over the world and does it every year and he does it.
01:42:08.000He goes completely off the grid when he does it.
01:42:10.000He just goes there and he brings his laptop and his camera and takes pictures of people and people going, what are you doing here?
01:42:15.000And he's like, I'm here to meet you, man.
01:42:17.000And he just meets people and goes places and hangs out with Bedouins and goes into the fucking desert and winds up in dangerous places, dangerous situations, but then comes back and has these amazing stories from it.
01:42:29.000So Ari just released his or just recorded his latest hour and had decided that he really needs to do something radical to generate new material.
01:48:52.000Definitely from doctors as well, being over-prescribed antibiotics.
01:48:56.000Every time you have a cold, every time you have a this, take antibiotics.
01:48:58.000And then by the time you actually need them, they don't work anymore.
01:49:00.000And that's where the situation my dad is in.
01:49:02.000There's a thing that they're just researching recently on Komodo dragons.
01:49:05.000And they're looking to Komodo dragons.
01:49:08.000I think there's enzymes in their blood that they think is going to be effective in treating people that have resistance to antibiotics for diseases.
01:49:23.000And I also look, it's like, again, you know, for me, and I'm not generalizing about everybody, I know this for me, a lot of things are projections.
01:49:29.000And so for me, like when an animal is helpless, I see myself as a helpless child.
01:49:34.000And when I see something in a cage, maybe the same way that like when you go into a room of executives, you're like, I don't want to be this.
01:49:39.000When I see something in a cage, I just, something that's voiceless and helpless, that's what a kid is.
01:49:43.000So it just triggers like a lot of Yeah, I can't go to the Pound.
01:51:25.000And, you know, like, as you know, like, equine therapy is used for a lot of, like, people in rehab and sexual abuse victims.
01:51:31.000I'm working with this organization called She Heard Power, and Beth Bares, who I work with, is sort of running it, and it's letting—because humans can be so triggering for drug addicts and trauma survivors that, like, for me, therapy stopped being able to work because I was so triggered by therapists.
01:52:55.000And then equine therapy, it's not about dominating the horse, and it really illuminates our instinct to control and be perfect and achieve.
01:53:05.000And those are sort of the things I'm working on right now.
01:53:10.000I feel like you and I have been, but you're interesting because you're one of the few people I know who's incredibly successful, but you don't seem to have a perfectionism issue.
01:53:21.000Like you achieve a lot without an obsession about achieving.
01:53:53.000So this is why, like, with horses, if you're trying to be perfect or control the outcome, and you can't control a horse, they're a thousand pounds.
01:54:01.000You know, when you're alone with it in a ring, not dominating it or cajoling it or using any kind of manipulation devices, you really can only be authentic and detach from the results of, like, I need the horse to run and jump and do all these things.
01:55:21.000I do occasionally, I get in my isolation tank and work things out in there.
01:55:26.000When I do yoga, I can't even, because I need to be doing it perfectly.
01:55:31.000And it comes and goes, but it really is, especially when I'm...
01:55:38.000Like get really busy and like out of control and out of touch like I resort to my perfectionism is what gets me attention and that's how I will survive very like primitive thinking because that's what worked for me as a child.
01:55:51.000Well, it seems like you're aware of all these issues, which is at least step one, right?
01:55:57.000Well, I think the real thing, and your proof that you can do it, is can you release your protection mechanisms or the things that worked for you?
01:56:06.000Because I think a lot of my perfectionism has worked in a lot of ways.
01:56:12.000Have achieved things because of it, but it has started to actually hold me back.
01:56:16.000So can you, the thing, the sort of maladaptive behavior that has worked for you professionally, can you release it and still get what you want?
01:56:26.000You're single and you're not finding people that are compatible with you.
01:56:31.000I love that you just said that because I'm finding it was bleeding into my mind.
01:56:45.000Because I think there's an overachiever mentality that sometimes bleeds into our personal life of like, but what if there's someone better?
01:56:50.000Well, if you don't feel safe, too, you also have predatory instincts where you find a weak thing.
01:57:30.000I mean, I've dated guys that are very high-functioning, alpha type A's, and it was exhausting.
01:57:36.000Well, that doesn't necessarily have to be exhausting.
01:57:39.000You just have to find someone who knows how...
01:57:41.000Look, you can have a car that's 600 horsepower and not know what the fuck to do with it, and you're going sideways around every corner.
01:57:48.000Just because you have all that power and all that energy...
01:57:51.000Doesn't mean you're utilizing it correctly.
01:57:53.000Or you could have a car that has 600 horsepower and you take every corner perfectly and you know when to hit the gas and it's always there when you need it, but you don't use it.
01:58:27.000You know, because if you don't have any, if you live in a small town, there's only a few people, you find someone quick, like musical chairs, like sit down, quick.
01:58:47.000I see, and this is a generalization, but a lot of people that I know that are being the most effective in life do have calm, predictable home lives.
01:59:33.000Once there's a guy there and he's flawed, and you think about guys that you used to date that weren't flawed, and then maybe I'll look him up and...
01:59:40.000Yeah, but I'm trying to not view, objectify people that way.
01:59:48.000But I also think, like, there's this, and there's this, and I don't know if it's feminism, like, we can leave that out of it, but there's this new trend where women, my girlfriends, a lot of them, who are like, I deserve better than this.
02:02:45.000Well, I've been thinking about this a lot lately when I examine human culture and civilization and all the fucking atrocities that we commit on a daily basis.
02:02:53.000And then I look back at, you know, I was reading this piece about ancient man and, you know, the trials and tribulations, Neanderthals and Homo sapiens how to deal with.
02:03:03.000And I was thinking, what is the difference between Neanderthal and Cro-Magnon?
02:04:31.000What I was thinking is, when we're looking at our issues, you know, dating and love and friendship and creativity and ambition, all these weird issues that human beings have today in this context.
02:06:32.000Which, by the way, a lot of the women in real porn are more lifeless than the animated women in porn.
02:06:36.000Well, they're weird now because they're getting fake asses.
02:06:40.000Well, it's like Jean Baudrillard's theory of simulacrum about how we prefer this simulation of something to the original of something when we can actually control it.
02:06:50.000I think Andy Warhol was onto that as well.
02:06:52.000Well, isn't it bizarre that some men prefer fake boobs?
02:08:46.000Among 18 to 34 year old viewers, cartoon and hentai are the 13th and 17th most popular porn searches and millennials are 131% more likely to search for anime than older browsers.
02:17:50.000Because she showed up in my feed, and then I went to her page, and I looked at some of the comments on some of her pictures, and holy shit, are there monsters out there?
02:18:11.000I mean, she, I don't, you know, know, like, she, I'm sure, doesn't look at that or something, but whenever I look at it, I'm out for a couple days.
02:18:35.000Because he becomes fixated and he just wants to talk about, like, someone who's doing a Saturday Night Live sketch about him.
02:18:41.000Well, I mean, look, I don't know enough about politics to really talk about it, and it really doesn't matter who you are interested in or not, but he shows the signs of a clinical narcissist, and whether that's good or bad, maybe presidents should be narcissists, maybe athletes should.
02:19:13.000Yeah, to be a diva or to be a whatever the fuck you are.
02:19:17.000But yeah, it becomes a real scary thing when it's like, I remember when he was talking about Kanye West, when Kanye West did that thing in front of this giant concert and he said, I didn't vote, but if I did vote, I would vote.
02:19:41.000What I was going to say is he did this thing where he's talking about it in front of this gigantic group of people, where he's talking about, he loves Trump.
02:19:49.000I love Kanye because Kanye loves Trump.
02:19:51.000He was talking about himself in the third person.
02:19:55.000It was like, this is such a weird way of addressing that.
02:19:58.000Instead of saying in a gracious way, that was very kind of him, I appreciate him, he's a brilliant artist, and it's very nice to have his support.
02:20:48.000But I'm fascinated by how much a mental illness can help you and then when it starts to backfire on you.
02:20:54.000It's obviously worked pretty well on some level.
02:20:56.000Well, what's going on now is his mental state or the way he behaves, his personality, is being examined by the brightest minds in the world.
02:21:17.000But he's, you know, he's under this, there's a level of scrutiny that you get if you're a rapper like Kanye West or a fighter like Ronda Rousey.
02:21:26.000And then there's this whole nother level when you want to be the center of the entire nuclear armament for the United States of America.
02:21:35.000You want to be the commander in chief.
02:21:58.000Yeah, you did it to get love and you're getting the massive amount of hate come at you, but he is getting love from a specific area of people.
02:22:04.000I mean, I'm, again, fascinated by the primal element of it, of how we, you know, the people who are responding well to what he's doing are...
02:22:18.000When I was watching him in early, early on, in the early debates when there was like, you know, six candidates on stage, as much as, I mean, I did his roast.
02:22:46.000But I saw him sort of knowing all of his shortcomings.
02:22:49.000This is before anyone actually thought he would become president.
02:22:53.000Not that the other candidates didn't have shortcomings, but he said to all of the people, he pointed them all out, and he was like, you've asked me for money, you've asked me for money, and it was so ballsy and courageous.
02:23:07.000And I was like, my primal brain was like, if there's an earthquake, I'm going with that guy.
02:23:42.000There's something in our primal brains that's like, yes, that guy can protect me when shit goes down.
02:23:47.000Well, there's also, like, people are tired of really ultra-left-wing, nanny-state-type people that want to tell you what you can say and what you can't say and how to behave and trigger words.
02:24:01.000And you're so good at, like, you're not contributing to this problem.
02:24:04.000You're part of this solution of, like, I think there's also, like we were talking about earlier, with Catholic schools and the pendulum swinging of this, like, hyper-political correctness.
02:24:11.000And then just this reaction of, like, this motherfucker does not care.
02:24:14.000He's saying Muslims are bad and they're raping.
02:24:17.000Like, he's saying what our crazy uncle says at dinner every night, you know?
02:24:20.000And, like, there's just something brave about it that's attractive.
02:24:25.000I think there is hope that someone is going to recognize the positive elements of that kind of, not total, like, disregard for the way people view him, But having the confidence to be yourself and then meeting much closer to the middle in terms of being compassionate and kind and being open-minded.
02:24:45.000But not apologetic and weak and scared.
02:25:26.000It's a fascinating time, I think, to explore the kind of things that you explore on your show, which is like human nature and our primordial instincts.
02:25:34.000Because this has been, I think, the most tribal, primal thing I've witnessed in my lifetime.
02:25:39.000I've never seen so much separation between the left and the right and the anger and fury that's going on today.
02:25:46.000There was a great article in, I think it was Scientific American, I think, about when people are wrong about something.
02:25:54.000Because here's the other thing, like even if you voted for Trump and he promised you, you know, manufacturing jobs would come back, which is...
02:26:20.000It's so hard for us to do that because of our ego.
02:26:23.000And there was an article in Scientific American how people, and granted, I'm sure this study was skewed, and it's a specific, you know, group of people that sign up for a study, but that when someone was wrong, when someone told them they were wrong, it made them believe their point even more.
02:26:44.000But if you say to them, and I think it's the CIA that uses this as a form of questioning, is that you first have to legitimize their position before you suggest that there might be something flawed about it.
02:26:53.000So you go like, you know, I totally understand that you would think that, you know, the earth is flat.
02:27:02.000If you empathize with them first and then say, you know, but turns out it's round, they'll more...
02:27:07.000They're more likely to come around, but if you just say hey, you know that's fucking wrong, and if you show them proof, they double down even further on there.
02:27:15.000What's the worst thing you say to someone who's upset?
02:27:25.000You're not respecting the person's state of mind.
02:27:27.000You're not objectively stepping back and looking, how does this person really feel right now, and what's the best way to talk to them?
02:27:32.000You're demoralizing, and what we're all doing is demoralizing each other by going, you're fucking wrong, you're stupid, And something that was interesting, and I know that I'm in Hollywood and I don't know anything about politics.
02:27:44.000But one thing I do know is that, and I was sort of fascinated by the comedian's role in this election, because as the news fails us in a lot of ways, comedians sometimes tend to sort of show up and tell the truth.
02:27:58.000But in every movie, the underdog always has to win.
02:30:22.000And do people care if they're being lied to, if they're being lied to in an authoritative way with someone who seems very confident, like they know what they're fucking doing.
02:30:30.000But it's going to chip away at him, though.
02:30:32.000This is what I really believe, that all these times where he's being checked, like, this is the reason why he won't go to the White House press correspondence dinner.
02:32:04.000Fight with and then it becomes all about our projections like I mean it's really been hard because I'm trying to sort of like especially going on stage like I had a riot breakout in Napa people started fighting you know in a crowd.
02:32:14.000What were you talking about when they rioted?
02:32:16.000This was before the election and I really start out with being like you know what politics is not my thing there's people who are much better at it and I let them do it if you want to talk about squirting you come to me but like I know my I stay in my lane and But this felt like something that was just, you know, beyond something that almost feels weird to ignore it on stage.
02:32:35.000It's like the elephant in the living room.
02:32:36.000And so I was talking about it, and I was like, look, I'm not saying who I think should win.
02:32:41.000I think there's one that's less flawed, but whatever.
02:32:45.000And I said something about, you know, if Bill is in the White House, because it would be the first female president, it was just something about, like, what happens with the first female president and how I think that there should be a rule saying that The first female...
02:35:51.000I think it's like, if you're, I mean, I'm in comedy, so I think if a comedian doesn't make you a little uncomfortable at some point, we're kind of not doing our job, you know?
02:36:00.000I always think it's hilarious when someone tells you not to talk about something.
02:36:03.000Like, someone tells you, next subject!
02:36:05.000Have you ever had someone to yell out, next subject!
02:36:13.000Sometimes Kevin Christie pointed out to me one time that about...
02:36:18.000Because he opened for me a long time, about 45 minutes into my set, someone always turns on me.
02:36:24.000It's usually a man who just has had a drink and I turn into their wife.
02:36:29.000Like a woman talking into a microphone at you for that long, I will become your mother, your ex-wife, the girl who didn't fuck you in high school.
02:36:47.000And I did this joke about how guys ages ago, every guy has a jar of coins in their house somewhere, like pennies, or like a bowl of coins, and everyone's laughing,
02:41:59.000I now know that it was just them being insecure and then everyone's got a show now.
02:42:05.000There's a lot of people that do have this feeling that's never going to happen for them.
02:42:09.000And there's no greater way to ensure that it's never going to happen for you than to have this feeling and ride it out that it's never going to happen for you.
02:42:40.000I've gone into depth with comedians about that because I think that's an important thing to think.
02:42:45.000We all start out from a fucked up place.
02:42:47.000Every comedian that's any good starts out from a place of insecurity and weakness and then somewhere along the line you've got to become more secure and then it's going to become about art.
02:42:58.000It's got to become about creating something that's good that people enjoy.
02:43:01.000And then it's got to be about doing something that's going to enhance people's experience.
02:43:07.000They're going to go to see you, and for an hour and a half, that show is going to be so fun, they're going to literally feel better.
02:43:22.000I enjoy onstage killing, but the creating and the process and the going over the material and writing and the chipping away at your fucking, why does this suck?
02:43:58.000And there's something that happens to comedians when they become famous that their main motivation was to get that love and then they get it and then they fucking suck.
02:46:32.000Well, horses, so you have to claim your space with a horse and you have to draw a boundary if you guys are going to be around because they can kill you.
02:46:43.000I mean, yeah, you just sort of claim your space and they actually respect you more and like you more when you have self-respect and you have sort of your boundary or else they'll just walk all over you.
02:47:05.000So a lot of times with my dogs, especially since I get rescue dogs who are unpredictable, and pit bulls have a very high arousal rate, so I can't just let them lay on me all night long and stuff.
02:47:14.000I have to then go, now you're off of me, and you're my bitch.
02:47:29.000Yeah, and I made some major mistakes of mistaking physical proximity with like trust and we'll be fine.
02:47:38.000Yeah, especially when they're full grown.
02:47:39.000Yeah, because if they get possessive of you or attached to you or we sometimes think that's like so cute, but sometimes it's actually dominant.
02:47:46.000Well, it's also when you bring other people into your life, and then this dog decides that other people are stealing you from them, and they get aggressive towards the other person, it becomes an issue.
02:47:55.000Yeah, well, I mean, it's really dogs are just extensions of their owner.
02:47:58.000Like, you also have to let them know, like, I can talk to whoever the fuck I want, and you're not allowed to have a problem with it.
02:48:04.000So they're not allowed to get possessive over you like that if you train them properly.
02:49:58.000But also when I see people, I've seen some real disasters with placing dogs in homes where people don't train their kids how to deal with dogs.
02:50:07.000A child's going to get their face bitten off.
02:50:10.000I get so scared because people just let their kid hit the dog in the face and shake their face.
02:50:15.000And I'm like, you have to train your child also.
02:50:59.000It's going to make a mistake sooner or later.
02:51:02.000I used to be really naive about it, but...
02:51:05.000It's interesting with German Shepherds, apparently, and Akita's.
02:51:09.000I always say, if anything looks too much like a wolf, be fucking super careful around kids with it.
02:51:16.000There's this guy that has really been helping me, this guy, Brandon McMillan.
02:51:19.000He's got a show called Lucky Dog on CBS, and he taught me how to aggression test dogs with two leashes and stuff, because I was just getting these dogs from shelters that had been abused and stuff, and I'm like, my love isn't going to make you trained.
02:51:38.000So I've learned to sort of honor the neurology of dogs and their instincts, and they were wolves, and food comes first, and if they have a scarcity complex, like, they're gonna go after food, and if they've been abused, like, they have no reason to not protect themselves if they feel threatened.
02:51:56.000Is that dog whisperer guy, that Cesar Millan guy, is he good?
02:52:08.000Like, I've figured out what works for me, which is, like, basically positive reinforcement or just ignoring the dog when they do something wrong.
02:52:14.000So the biggest punishment to a dog is just ignoring them.
02:52:17.000When you hit them, you're actually giving them attention and confusing them.
02:52:21.000It's confusing to them, and it probably doesn't hurt.
02:52:25.000They usually just lose respect for you because you've gotten in a situation where you're now hitting them, and they're just like, well, why did you let me do that yesterday?
02:52:52.000Well, I mean, your dog is a reflection.
02:52:54.000Yeah, well, I was just thinking about it because I was like, recently, I mean, I read a lot of books on, like, addiction and, like, science.
02:53:53.000I just think it's incredibly fascinating that anatomically similar humans who lived 10,000 years ago, as we were talking about with Cro-Magnons, who literally didn't have very many tools or weapons, I mean, didn't have guns for sure, and maybe, I mean, had atlatls or something like that.
02:54:24.000But it's amazing that people before then, I mean, so let's go back even earlier than 10,000 years ago, probably not a whole lot of difference between those people and people 100,000 years ago, with the amount of tissue and the softness of the body and the vulnerability.
02:54:38.000Like, it's kind of crazy that we even made it.
02:56:05.000My biggest theory is not just that some people live in bad neighborhoods, but also that we're dealing with the news of seven billion humans.
02:56:12.000And we see, now that we have the news, and we see so much negative things happening, that we have a false sense of how dangerous the world is.
02:56:33.000But everyone is like, you know, terrified all the time.
02:56:36.000And it's just sort of an interesting thing, and trying to figure out what's a real fear and what's a sort of reptilian, irrational fear.
02:56:42.000Well, it's what we were talking about before that one day, and probably not far from now, we're going to exist in some sort of a quasi-electronic state.
02:56:52.000We're going to exist in some sort of a weird virtual state.
02:57:36.000But physically, moving your body side to side, they don't have the dexterity or the strength to do that because they're fucking just stuck to the couch.
02:58:06.000In the NBA's eSports League, diversity means a new kind of athlete.
02:58:12.000They haven't announced it fully because every team isn't fully locked into it yet right now, but the idea, I think, is that every team is going to have their own 5-on-5 video game team, and they're going to be responsible for signing good players, and there's going to be competitions.
02:58:27.000Ideally, they want to have the finals in arenas, too, for this.