In this episode of the podcast, Joe Rogan talks about his upcoming tour, his favorite snacks, and how to get the most out of your time on the road. This episode is brought to you by NatureBox and MVMT Watches.
00:02:35.000We're also brought to you by Movement Watches, MVMT Watches.
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00:02:58.000And through podcasts and through websites and social media, they're able to get people excited about these watches because they look great.
00:03:05.000Movement watches, mvmt.com is the name of their company.
00:03:11.000mvmt.com forward slash rogan if you go there you'll get 15 off with with free shipping and free returns and the watches are really stylish looking they're they're minimalist in their design clean it looks they're sweet looking watches and they start at just 95 bucks at a department store you're looking at like a 400 to 500 watch um they just cut out the middleman folks it's what people are doing now it's a lot of companies doing it's a smart it's a smart thing for
00:03:41.000them they don't have to establish all these relationships with all these people that take a piece of the pry the pry i mean the pie whatever the word is they've sold over one million watches in 160 countries and i wear one all the time they're a really good watch it's nice good looking and again you can get 15 off their already low priced with free shipping and free returns by going to mvmt.com forward slash rogan mvmt.com forward slash
00:04:11.000rogan and we're also brought to you each and every episode by onit.com onit is a total human optimization company where we strive to provide you with all of the tools and inspiration and information that you need to get your fucking shit working at the optimum level what do i mean by that i mean things to optimize your mind um interesting articles on exercise motivational q a's
00:04:45.000What we try to do, if you click on the Onnit Academy link, the Academy link is a section of the site that's filled with hundreds of articles, videos, cool workouts, and all of it is just designed to fire you up, give you information, and show you that there's a lot of other people that are doing this.
00:05:03.000There's a lot of other people that are pushing their body, pushing their mind, and getting themselves in a very satisfactory place, a place where they feel good about progress.
00:05:13.000We have a host of awesome supplements, including AlphaBrain, which is a cognitive-enhancing formula, backed by two double-blind, placebo-controlled studies.
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00:05:42.000extra energy through workouts but it it's not speedy like a coffee we got everything folks kettlebells all kinds of great shit go to onit.com use the code word rogan and save 10 off any and all supplements all right my guest today is my friend chris dahlia chris dahlia is a hilarious stand-up comedian and he has a new special that's out right now on netflix called man on fire and we had a great time he's a fun dude he's a silly goose and we had a we had a silly
00:06:39.000I know it's actually I'm so happy I'm doing this and we're gonna talk for a few hours because i can't stop checking my fucking phone on twitter like an asshole i know i know i i think I think, oh, I won't do it.
00:06:50.000And then I'll be like, don't do it, don't do it.
00:06:52.000And as I'm doing it, I'm thinking, I better not be doing it.
00:06:54.000And I'm like, I'm doing it fucking right now.
00:08:59.000I had this message board, and on my website, message board, someone made me like this really flashy image for the face where it's like it turns on and off, you know, pulsates.
00:09:10.000And my friend's wife has epilepsy, and he's like, dude, you got to take that down because if my wife looks at it, she'll have a seizure.
00:10:17.000And in one of the Superman movies, they didn't even have kryptonite.
00:10:21.000In the one Superman movie, but before the one before Superman and Batman, I saw it, and the bad guy didn't even use kryptonite, so you basically couldn't destroy Superman.
00:10:30.000So I was like, so why the fuck is this movie even a movie?
00:10:49.000So these flashing things, when I found out about it, that flashing animated files, and then I found out there was a television show in Japan that they had to take off the air.
00:11:00.000Because all these people were watching it and having seizures.
00:13:44.000Anywhere there's flashing lights, I tend to avoid that place.
00:13:46.000Yeah, I wonder what that's doing to you.
00:13:48.000Like, maybe if it's a person like you or I who doesn't have epilepsy, maybe it's just a certain amount of time.
00:13:53.000Maybe you can only endure a certain amount of time.
00:13:55.000Because when they torture, you've seen those videos and shit where they like, I mean, not torture videos, but like reenactments or like things in movies where they're flashing lights and shit and torturing the guy.
00:24:00.000He was in a boxing match, and apparently he had suffered quite a few knockouts in the last year or so, and they really probably shouldn't have been fighting at all.
00:24:08.000And he got knocked out, and as he got KO'd, his head hit the ground hard because he was out cold.
00:24:13.000He bounced off the canvas of the boxing ring, and it sounded horrible.
00:24:18.000But it was even, even though it was canvas, I mean, that's hard, but still.
00:24:20.000I think it's canvas over wood, though.
00:27:40.000You know what's weird about it is, like, you know, I do so much comedy that it's so fun to do comedy because even in between your takes, you're still in that mood where you're fucking around.
00:27:53.000But I was doing this movie where literally I'm taking care of Cara Delevine, who is dying of cancer.
00:28:18.000I wanted to do it because, dude, especially after my third, I had just filmed my third special and I was like, what the fuck am I going to do?
00:28:34.000So that's why this, even on this special that just came out today, it's like I talk more about myself than I did in my first two, just because it's like, I don't want to keep making fun of the same shit.
00:29:06.000I mean, I don't want to disrespect it like that, but it's like, not that you're disrespecting it, but it's just like the shit we do is so exciting going on stage for an hour and everyone's listening and you're in control of the fucking mood.
00:29:20.000But then when you're just like the fifth lead on a movie and you have one really great scene and the other scenes, you're just kind of in with four characters and you say shit like, oh yeah, I remember that or something.
00:30:35.000Yeah, unless you're playing, for me, unless you're playing like a real character or like a, or something that's funny and you get to ad lib and fuck around.
00:30:55.000Somebody was telling me recently that they were bummed out about how, and they, and it was a good point about how, you know, people like Fortune Feemster, who's hilarious, like, she doesn't have a special yet because she's doing so much acting work.
00:40:34.000I would ask my parents, I would ask my parents because I always sat like this at the dinner table, and I asked them, I was like, I was like, can you call me crazy legs?
00:40:44.000And I remember thinking, like, that would be cool.
00:40:48.000Like, if my family called me crazy legs.
00:40:50.000Hey, it's Damien Crazy Legs Monroe coming at you.
00:40:53.000And then they were like, and my dad was like, no.
00:40:55.000And I was like, but just like maybe just at least at the dinner table, I remember saying that.
00:41:00.000And you would be like, I'm not fucking calling you crazy legs.
00:42:07.000But it would come in this wallet-looking brick, and you open it up and you break a piece off, like real old-schooly fucking Clint Eastwood-style chewing tobacco.
00:43:53.000Like, the dude scoops ice cream all day, so he had these jacked forearms.
00:43:56.000And all the, like, young kids, like, 12, would be, like, scared of this 19-year-old dude with his giant forearms because he's scooping ice cream all the time.
00:51:28.000But I think what is so, like, what's interesting about all these anti-bullying campaigns is that they didn't exist when we were younger.
00:51:35.000And whether you or not you make an argument for people figuring out how to get along through the natural methods that we've always encountered, like finding good people and bad people and finding who you like and finding out about your own behavior and how it affects other people.
00:51:48.000Either way, what I think is going on is we don't want people to fuck with people anymore.
00:51:56.000And I think in the old days, everybody just accepted that people fucked with people.
00:52:15.000It is that, but I think it was on its way there just through traditional methods like books and regular media and colleges and universities.
00:52:24.000That's one of the reasons why college and universities are so important for changing thought, especially were.
00:52:29.000They're kind of in a fucked up place now, but there was a thing where you would leave your environment and go to this new environment, right?
00:52:36.000And this new environment would be filled with intellectuals, filled with people that are trying to change the world.
00:52:42.000And you'd be exposed to ideas you never got before.
00:52:45.000And so through those ideas, then you learn a bunch of shit and then you go out with this idea that you're going to go do this or you're going to go apply your knowledge now there or get a degree here.
00:52:55.000And everything would sort of compound and your understanding of the world would be far better than the people that came before you because just the fact that humanity has accumulated 20, 30 plus years of information since the time your parents were in school, right?
00:53:08.000So all that aside, as that goes by, that gets you a certain way.
00:53:12.000It gets you a certain amount of steps past the barbarians and the fucking Romans, all the psychopaths of our history.
00:53:19.000But now, once social media kicks in, now everything's accelerating in a way we can't even control.
00:53:26.000It's completely out of everybody's hands.
00:53:28.000That's why trigger words and safe spaces and everyone's going fucking crazy.
00:53:49.000Like you're better off having people communicate than having safe spaces.
00:53:53.000You're better off figuring out a way to make people just not shitty to each other and screaming and yelling at each other.
00:53:58.000Find a better method of communicating.
00:54:01.000But the point is, it's like they're moving in that direction.
00:54:05.000They're moving in a really good direction.
00:54:06.000Even these ridiculous liberals that shut down that evergreen college and they're going nuts and they didn't want white people to show up for work for a day.
00:54:13.000Their inclination is probably correct.
00:56:51.000But his bit, you know, he's like, and like while he's doing it, even though you know it's Jimmy Schubert, you're thinking, oh, he's thinking like an eagle.
01:10:31.000He's definitely not going to win a straight boxing match against the best boxer ever.
01:10:37.000And I don't think he thinks he would do that either.
01:10:39.000I think what he wants to do is clip him.
01:10:41.000Just go after him, make a big sprint right away, try to clip him, try to hurt him, try to rough him up.
01:10:49.000The more the time goes on, what happens with a guy like Floyd is he starts, I mean, he's been boxing for so long.
01:10:56.000He starts doing things and then anticipating your reaction to those things, timing you.
01:11:01.000He'll do things not even so that he could hit you, but to see how you react and how fast you are.
01:11:07.000And maybe if he did this and then came over the top, or maybe if he did this and stepped over here and hit you with a left hook, and he gets it in his head and he starts moving around, and he puts you in like, he sort of like has these parameters for your movements, almost like he's a supercomputer.
01:11:22.000You see like Anderson Silva used to do that too.
01:11:24.000You could see him like measure timing.
01:11:49.000It's so interesting that a guy can be so good at that and work so hard and not get brutally ruined to the point and then become a champion.
01:12:49.000So he grew up knowing technique at a very early age.
01:12:52.000When you know at a really early age, you can get really good at it because you can get good at it later.
01:12:57.000There's a lot of fucking unicorns, like people that don't make any sense.
01:13:00.000But when you're young, you don't hit that hard.
01:13:03.000So you and your buddies can hit each other and you don't hurt each other.
01:13:06.000So you learn how to box and you don't have the consequences.
01:13:11.000If you learn how to box and you're 180 pounds and you're boxing other dudes that are 180 pounds and you're fucking savages and you're throwing lead at each other, boxing's scary and dangerous.
01:13:21.000But when you're a little kid, you can't even hurt each other.
01:13:24.000That's what actually Joel Gerson was saying that it's way easier to teach kids how to like throw.
01:14:42.000Not that I've done either one of them professionally.
01:14:45.000But I'm just telling you, as far as the amount of work that you put out in a three-minute round of just using your hands versus wrestling, fighting off submissions, getting your legs kicked, kicking, all those things require tremendous amounts of energy.
01:14:58.000I think UFC athletes are some of the most conditioned athletes in the world.
01:16:23.000Was it you that was saying, somebody was saying something about how Connor has something, has the one thing over Floyd that nobody's ever had over him, and that's that he can say, I can kick your fucking ass.
01:19:59.000Boxing is exciting because when you see a guy like Sergei Kovalov versus Andre Ward, like the last fight, you're seeing the margin of error that each guy is operating in is so small.
01:20:18.000And the margin of error that you have when one guy's an expert at punching people in the face and the other guy's an expert at punching people in the face and you're moving around trying to find your openings and these like world-class top of the food chain guys are trying to smash each other with their punches and that's all they have to rely on.
01:20:37.000So in making something like very limited, to me, especially because I watch so much MMA, it becomes interesting because I'm like, okay, now I don't have to think about leg kicks.
01:20:46.000You don't have to think about takedowns.
01:20:47.000All I have to think about is which guy, you know, like which guy is going to be able to solve this puzzle.
01:22:27.000Whether or not he tries to distance himself from Floyd and stay on the outside, whether or not he tries to clinch up with him and bully him, or whether he does something really confusing that Floyd doesn't expect.
01:22:40.000His coach, John Kavanaugh, the guy who's coached him in MMA, very, very smart guy and a brilliant tactician.
01:22:46.000And together their team is, I like their approach, a very, very unique approach.
01:22:51.000And one of the things they do is they come up with these really unorthodox training routines because his statement that really rings true with me is he says, we want to upgrade the hardware or upgrade the software without damaging the hardware.
01:23:05.000Yeah, so they do a lot of drills instead of constant hard sparring.
01:23:09.000And the idea is that when you do hard sparring all the time, the problem is it's hard for experimentation because you get punished if you fuck up.
01:24:37.000I think Muhammad Ali was probably, it wasn't our time, but I think he was probably at a totally different level because Muhammad Ali also represented the civil rights movement.
01:24:46.000He represented the resistance of the Vietnam War.
01:24:49.000He lost his license to fight for three years.
01:35:41.000I mean, we've had some weird stuff, but I had a fan once, their driver came up to me and he was like, hi, I was instructed to come over here, and this guy wants you to meet his wife and sleep with him.
01:36:05.000Imagine if there was like a guy out there.
01:36:06.000Sort of how that picture makes epileptics have seizures.
01:36:10.000There was a guy out there that makes your dickhard a great face.
01:36:13.000And you just didn't expect it at all out of nowhere.
01:36:16.000Like you might not even have to see him in person, but if it's a guy that's so pretty, they figured out a way to have the perfect amount of masculine.
01:36:24.000But not even pretty, just the kind of vibe.
01:37:04.000I always used to think when Tom Selleck was in Hawaii, Magnum P.I. was in Hawaii, I would always think, like, does he hate being in Hawaii after a while?
01:37:58.000You just have a boat on your deck, like tied down.
01:38:01.000Even if you're just in Santa Monica or like the valley.
01:38:03.000As a tsunami hits, you get in the boat and you always like freeze-dried foods.
01:38:08.000Would you want to be the guy who gets hit in the head by the asteroid or would you want to be the guy that has to figure out how to rebuild civilization again?
01:38:19.000Because get hit in the head would be nice and quick.
01:38:22.000If you got to rebuild civilization and cannibalize 40 people in the world.
01:38:36.000What do you do if it's just you and your sister and you're the only two people alive?
01:38:40.000I'd want to get hit in the head for sure.
01:38:42.000But if you are alive right now and she's alive and she wants to stay alive and you're like, look, there's only one way we can make more people.
01:40:44.000But if you had Harrison Ford, Kate Blanchette, in a gripping thriller, and then at the end, they fuck and you see in-and-out dick shots like that, it's a porn.
01:42:18.000Yeah, you can apparently walk around Toronto with your breasts out.
01:42:22.000So there was this video that was released online earlier today of this woman activist who was being interviewed by this guy, and she says it's totally legal to take your top off.
01:42:33.000So she takes her top off, and she's a feminist.
01:42:37.000Almost immediately after she takes her top off, this dude, this black guy sneaks, I don't know why I had to say black guy, but said it in a different way.
01:42:43.000Because they're brazen when they hit on girls.
01:42:44.000Sneaks behind her and grabs her tits from behind.
01:47:44.000Well, Greg Giraldo shit all over him because they were going back and forth, and every time Greg would say something funny, Dennis would like mock the fact that he was saying something funny.
01:49:17.000He is one of my best examples that I personally use when I say you have to see someone do stand-up in the flesh, live in the flesh, to understand how funny they are.
01:50:51.000The last show contained a monologue by Quind, who attacked his distractors, such as the New York Times, for being hypocritical and elitist for their negative reviews.
01:51:02.000He also defined comedic integrity as the ability to critique the hypocrisy of society, but to be honest enough to admit that you are just as guilty of it as anyone else.
01:52:42.000Oh, yeah, it's like, you know, when you start a new one and then it's like, I have like 25 new minutes and I'm like, is this stuff really, though, going to be in my hour?
01:53:00.000It's so much less, it's so much more work for me to know what I'm going to say and get up there and say it than it is to go up with an idea and work it out on stage.
01:53:11.000And I have so much more fun doing that.
01:53:53.000That's the only thing that's really how you do it, like whether you do it like in your car while you're driving, you shut the radio off and you just think about it, or whether you do it in front of a computer, or whether you, you know, whatever you do, or you do a lot of sets.
01:54:06.000You do a set of the improv and you set at the store and the set at the factory.
01:54:09.000It's all just about how much energy, how much focus you put on it.
01:54:14.000Well, yeah, because if you think about it, really, the amount of time that you're actually doing stand-up is an hour and a half, or unless you're doing two sets a night.
01:54:22.000That's why weekends are so good, right?
01:54:24.000You get to do two on Friday and two on Saturday.
01:54:26.000You do an improv somewhere or something.
02:00:02.000There's a really good one on, I don't know what channel, probably the ID channel, but See No Evil.
02:00:09.000And they go through, like with forensic files, all they do is they work out who did the crime with forensics.
02:00:16.000But on this one, they find out who did the crime only using the security footage.
02:00:20.000And it's really creepy and really interesting because you'll see a guy walk into the elevator and then leave with a briefcase and shit or like a suitcase and the body's in there.
02:00:34.000Yeah, when you see a real body, even if it's like through a security camera, someone clubs somebody over the head and drags them backwards.
02:00:44.000Like, what I don't understand is like heat of the moment murders, I guess I can wrap my head around because it's like, you just got so mad at the person and it happened.
02:00:55.000But like to plan it and think, oh, good, I'm going to make 20 grand off this for the life insurance and to think you're not going to get caught is like you're going to get caught.
02:01:08.000Yeah, people get caught, but people are stupid as fuck, dude.
02:01:12.000There's a lot of people out there that lie so much that they don't have a connection to reality.
02:01:18.000They've severed their tether to reality.
02:01:21.000So they think they can bullshit people all the time.
02:01:25.000And they think that they can sort of con artist people all the time.
02:04:09.000I was talking to this guy, Gerald, my friend Gerald, who was the guy that wound up testifying against him that he tried to pay him to murder him.
02:04:20.000I was talking to him about it on the phone, and the phone was being tapped.
02:04:24.000So then the cops call me up, and they say, hey, what do you know about this?
02:04:28.000I was like, I'll tell you everything I know, but I don't know shit.
02:04:31.000But he had already been arrested, and it was already like a thing where they're going to trial.
02:04:34.000But I'm like, all I know is that he is a fake black belt who lied about a lot of shit.
02:04:59.000You pretty much never can trust somebody who brings a trophy out of the woods.
02:05:02.000I mean, can you imagine the idea that you're going to take this fucking duffel bag, put a trophy inside of it, and no one's going to notice when you come back to the duffel bag's missing?
02:08:56.000He's so high up on the knee that he wouldn't even be putting pressure on the knee because he's not controlling the lower leg or the upper leg rather.
02:15:15.000But it doesn't shock me that people buy more guns.
02:15:21.000Yeah, but I guess I didn't think of it like that.
02:15:23.000And then once I heard it, I was like, yeah, that makes sense.
02:15:25.000That's the big fear that people have, is that one day the government's going to step in and they're going to take your guns away and they're going to control you with an iron fist and tell you what to do.
02:15:34.000And people say, no way, that's never going to happen.
02:15:37.000But I'm not advocating everybody go out and get a gun.
02:15:41.000But if you say that could never happen, well, it's happening right now with people.
02:15:45.000If you go to North Korea, it's happened, right?
02:16:48.000It's the executive, network executives.
02:16:50.000Just getting a guy to do that, though, like getting, especially in America, I mean, this is not North Korea, man.
02:16:57.000We have a way different attitude about each other and about human beings.
02:17:00.000It would be incredibly difficult to get some regular kid from Northern California to join the military and then shut down schools and take away people's guns in a door-to-door raid.
02:17:12.000I guess I just always feel that people are such followers that it would happen.
02:17:18.000People are followers until some shit goes down.
02:17:21.000And if some shit goes down, people will rise to the occasion.
02:17:24.000Like that is what happened after September 11th.
02:17:27.000They woke up a sleeping lion and people were excited about going to war again.
02:17:31.000It gets real dangerous when something happens because people love, like there's a great book that I just read from Sebastian Younger.
02:17:39.000And it's all about bonding during wartime and how people are losing their connection to each other by not encountering difficulty and not struggling.
02:18:21.000And that the happier people are the people that are under stress.
02:18:25.000And that if something did happen to us, we would probably feel better and roughly.
02:18:30.000Yeah, they say that the guy more likely to kill himself is the businessman who's on the top floor that fucking lost it all than the guy who just kind of has had a rough life because he doesn't know how to deal with it.
02:18:41.000There was this Bernie Madoff episode of Radio Lab where he's talking to this guy.
02:18:47.000And this guy made like, I think he made like $9 billion with Bernie.
02:18:53.000And he had to give away, give $7 billion of it back.
02:18:56.000Bernie was trying to get him, not Bernie Sanders, Bernie Madoff.
02:29:15.000the stone came from a certain part of the world this ancient part of the world that it was ancient stone by the amount of uh some sort of uh mineral on the uh outside of it they realized that it had been sitting in the ground for thousands of years they thought turned out Bullshit.
02:29:30.000They just, there was a, there was a method that they used to create this artificial surface, and the whole thing was a fraud.
02:29:36.000And they, you know, they put it in like famous museums and shit.
02:35:30.000There's an interesting article on the website about coconut oil.
02:35:34.000A lot of people have been saying, asking a lot of questions about the American Heart Association had some thing about coconut oil and saturated fats and things being bad for you.
02:35:47.000And it's being widely criticized by people who are big fans of saturated fat.
02:35:55.000So if you want to read the full article and decide for yourself, it's really, it will be one of those things where you're like, Hmm, am I deciding for myself or am I trying to sort this out?
02:36:05.000Most of the time, it's like try to sort this out, try to figure out who's right and who's telling the truth.
02:36:10.000But there's also a bit of a critique on the American Heart Association.
02:36:16.000It says the American Heart Association advisory wasn't spurred by the emergence of a new study, but rather, in parentheses, by the researchers' own admission, was done in reaction to a bunch of other ones they didn't like, specifically a 2014 meta-analysis,
02:36:32.000which is in parentheses a review of multiple studies from the annals of internal medicine that found that there isn't evidence to support recommendations to consume high amounts of polyunsaturated fatty acids and low amounts of saturated fat.
02:36:49.000This is very complicated stuff, so I'm going to bore the shit out of you at the end of this already long podcast.
02:36:56.000But it is an interesting debate because it's like one month you're told coconut oil is amazing for you.
02:37:40.000I mean, everybody's body's different too.
02:37:41.000That's also part of this whole equation.
02:37:43.000Point being, the Honored Academy has an awesome link about that that you should check out and read and, you know, help you make up your mind.
02:37:51.000But I always advise people to experiment.
02:37:53.000Try a bunch of different kinds of diets and a bunch of different ways to eat.
02:37:57.000For me, the lower carb, higher fat, low, low sugar diet or choices have been the best for me, the way I feel.