Comedian Rob Patti Emerick joins Jemele to discuss her new show, The Endless Honeymoon, and why she s running for president in 2020. She also talks about how she got into stand-up comedy, and what it s like to be rich in the Gilded Age of the 1800s, when people were living in squalor and didn t have to pay their fair share of taxes. And she explains why she thinks Bernie Sanders is a good choice for president. Plus, she gives us a run down of what s going on in the world of Bernie Sanders and why he s the best choice to take on Donald Trump in the 2020 Democratic primary. Also, she explains how she s going to run for President in 2020 and why it s a good idea to have a woman in the White House. Thanks to our sponsor, Caff Monster Energy Drink Co. for sponsoring this episode. Caff is a high-end sparkling frappuccino and is a great way to get a high quality high-fi drink. Caff has a great selection of high-fibre Mocha Mocha and Caff's are the best in the entire country. It s also great to drink it in the morning and evening, so you won t want to miss it! Get your own cup of coffee with a shot of Caff by going to Caff and enjoy this episode of The Endless Honeymoon with Rob and Jemele! to help spread the word around the world! and get a little bit of good vibes and good vibey! Thank you, Rob and Natasha! Cheers, and Cheers! xoxo, Cheers. Sarah and Natasha Sarah - Sarah - - Caitlyn - Gage - Emily - Natalie - Joe - Evan - Ben - Nick - Rachel - Jeff - John - Mike - Matthew - Jack - Matt - Andrew - Michael - Daniel - Natasha - Alex - Kevin - Chris - Will - Jake - Jon - James - Garrett & more - Sam - Dan - Brian - Tom - David - Emma - Elyssa + much more! - Brad - Anna - Carl - Isabelle - Jordan - Elizabeth
00:00:43.000Well, the way we thought of it is when we were in Newport, Rhode Island, we learned about this rich couple who went on a 10-year honeymoon.
00:00:49.000And then they came back with four kids.
00:00:51.000And I just thought that sounded so romantic, to be so rich that you just went away for a decade.
00:01:58.000But yeah, they were like, these people, it was the Carnegies and the Rockefellers and these like seed of power, like Illuminati old, you know.
00:02:05.000Like Carnegie had a billion dollars a hundred years ago.
00:02:08.000Like these people were, they were just, but now we've come full circle and people have figured out how to legally steal money and not pay income.
00:02:28.000She's talking about big old corporate oligarchy billionaire people that have figured out...
00:02:32.000Any super rich people are going to try really hard to hold on to their money and pay as little taxes as possible and form LLCs and corporations and all kinds of jazz, but...
00:02:40.000It is funny that comedians are mostly super liberal, and they're all like, man, we got Bernie, and we gotta pay these high tax rates, and anyway, I'm incorporated, and my LLC's name is, it's just like, you're doing a corporate fiction, too.
00:03:56.000Yeah, you could become a Hillary person just because you didn't want a reality show contestant or whatever the fuck he was.
00:04:01.000But that's the crazy thing about, and I do think, I think we were talking about this last time, I do think Trump, if he's doing anything good for American society, he's pointing out how ridiculous and arbitrary the worship of the American president is.
00:04:33.000I mean, it's really just a new version of kings.
00:04:37.000That's so funny that our whole foundation mythology is based on the rejection of the king, and we immediately established kingship, which is what they did in Christianity.
00:05:58.000A bath is, let's be honest about what a bath is, it's asshole and vagina soup.
00:06:03.000I mean, you're sitting in a big teapot of asshole.
00:06:07.000But you don't put your dick or balls in there.
00:06:08.000The men put their assholes in, women put their vaginas in, but men, they hold up their assholes, their dicks and balls, so they don't forget.
00:06:16.000Well, it doesn't concern me what a guy smells like, but what a girl smells like concerns me.
00:07:53.000Right, and imagine being Tom Cruise and be like, I think I will be among the humans today.
00:07:58.000So Tom Cruise apparently shows up with a brand new, like, clearly fresh football that his assistant, like, you know, he's, like, tossing, like, a literal brand new football in the air.
00:08:31.000I mean, when you're that famous, your work ethic, it's like you just devote everything to that, I think.
00:08:36.000Because my agents were like, they know that the agents who are Tom Cruise's agents, they said, Tom Cruise always gets back within an hour when we send a script.
00:08:45.000Because I'll keep a script for three weeks, and then by the time I read it, the part's been cast.
00:12:36.000I mean, I didn't even read it because I looked at the headline and I first thought it was, duh...
00:12:40.000And second thought was, ugh, I just can't.
00:12:43.000I mean, it's so much worse than making someone believe they can get acting work, like whatever Scientology does.
00:12:50.000The Catholic religion is like, they're fucking little girls and boys and It's permanently ruining their lives, making them have terrible flashbacks, making them have wide chunks of memory that they just don't remember, and they do remember, and it's just the worst thing you can do.
00:13:06.000And having sexual problems, I'm not Catholic, I'm Jewish now.
00:13:10.000Well, you know, the Pope, the last Pope, Ratzinger, that guy, one of the reasons why he had to step down was because they found out that he was one of the guys that used to move people around.
00:13:22.000He was one of the guys, when someone would get caught molesting children, he would move them to a new precinct or whatever the fuck they would...
00:13:30.000We live actually right next to a former rehabilitation center for wayward priests on our street in LA. And I was like, oh, I always thought, oh, wayward priests.
00:13:48.000Spotlight makes this really interesting point about the church, which is that the commonly held sort of folk belief about the Catholic Church is that when you take away someone's ability to have sex, you will concentrate their sex drive and pervert it, and you'll become a child molester.
00:14:04.000And with Spotlight, the movie sort of point that it makes is it's the other way around, is that basically when you're a child molester, you go to the church because you know they'll give you a haven.
00:14:14.000See, I don't think that's true, though.
00:15:23.000The child molester loves the weak and vulnerable.
00:15:27.000Because if they go to a strong, confident child who they know will just be like, if you touch me, I'll tell my fucking dad and he'll kill you.
00:15:55.000But the boys thing is weird, but I do believe there's a math to suppressing someone's sexuality, and then it's just going to come out in these other ways.
00:16:04.000Well, I think that also, orientation is spread equally across monsters.
00:17:16.000What I've read is that there was a real concern amongst people that were under the tutelage of these priests that these guys were out of control.
00:18:01.000If there's no musicians, there's no comedians, there's no actors, who are the hoes going to go The hoes are going to go straight to the priests.
00:18:33.000I want to have a timeline of what was the year.
00:18:35.000There is this idea that the guy, the itinerant singer that would come to town and pluck the lute and tell the tale was always fucking everybody everywhere he went through town.
00:18:44.000That's got to be who we all came from.
00:19:08.000I just feel like I have a blood memory.
00:19:11.000For example, I do think there are people in comedy who are doing it because that's where the energy is right now, and they're just trying to make money.
00:19:58.000A person that starts comedy, does a set at an open mic, to becomes one of the great comedians, even in the top 10% of comedians, that's got to be 1%.
00:21:56.000I took an acting class with Paris Hilton and the teacher was like, who wants to do TV? And everyone raised their hand except her and he was like, who wants to do just movies?
00:23:31.000I just heard John Taffer, that guy that does Bar Rescue, talking about it on another interview.
00:23:36.000He said they'll go in on Friday night and make about $500,000 for their club show and then wake up the next morning and do the pool at noon for $150,000 and leave in the afternoon.
00:23:46.000We're talking about the actual performers.
00:24:05.000So, as you know, I mean, I didn't know that this was a real thing, but in the show, the whole premise is that he's paying off his gambling debt to the casino because it's like $800,000 and it's the only way he can pay it back.
00:25:04.000My grandfather, he gambled away the deed to his house at the Riviera.
00:25:10.000And they just lost my nana's wedding ring.
00:25:15.000And then someone told me when I was at Foxwoods, because I was performing, and they said that at Mohegan Sun, they're like, yeah, it's gotten really bad at Mohegan Sun.
00:25:24.000When you gamble away your car, they won't even give you a ride home.
00:25:27.000But we at Foxwoods are giving people rides home.
00:25:30.000Like, it's happening, like, people are just like, they run out of money, and they're like, okay, I can win it all back if I just sell the car.
00:29:24.000That's also part of the problem, is connective tissue, this really soft, almost like cotton candy-like tissue that connects your brain to the skull.
00:29:42.000Because long-term prizefighters can get through it.
00:29:44.000Like, there's guys like Bernard Hopkins that, you know, fought into his 50s who speaks well, you know?
00:29:51.000See, the problem is, even guys that speak well, there's the weird shit that they do, the impulsive stuff.
00:29:57.000If you talk to people that are CTE experts, they tell you some really disturbing things about brain damage, about how it manifests itself and the weird things that men find themselves doing.
00:30:08.000They don't even know why they're doing it.
00:30:10.000And, like, real impulsive behavior and just stomping on the gas on the highway and just, like, weird gambling stuff and sex stuff and drug stuff.
00:30:19.000And a lot of it is connected to CTE. What if you looked over and Natasha was crying, looking at me?
00:30:34.000Yeah, it's like they're just like, like one's got the head in his dick and then the other one's got his head in his dick and they just kind of like writhe back and forth.
00:30:44.000You know Joe's like one of the main commentators for the UFC. No, I know.
00:32:07.000And some of them say, I would rather live a dangerous life that's exciting than a really fucking boring life sitting on the couch atrophying.
00:38:26.000The only sport I watch is MMA and have watched consistently since I was a kid is MMA and then boxing very secondarily and then I can't get into kickboxing at all.
00:42:33.000No, what she said to me on her deathbed, like days before she died, she looked at me and she said, if there is a God, he saves the worst part of your life for the very end.
00:42:45.000I've been thinking about that because I was like going into like an old person's home seems so depressing like I would never want to do that to go away from your Your stuff in your house, you know, like I'm just trying to think what's the best way to go I think old people by themselves in a home alone Super depressing too Yeah,
00:45:27.000And your chronic depression might be different than another person's and another person's.
00:45:31.000And how do you know that it can't be turned around with a pill or with exercise and diet?
00:45:36.000And if you did turn it around, like, I have friends that were suicidal, and now they're super happy.
00:45:42.000Well, the problem is one of the main tenets of depression is hopelessness.
00:45:46.000So if you can't feel at all hopeful, how are you ever going to try to get your way out?
00:45:52.000Another strange thing about mental illness, in my experience, and I have a lot of it in my family, Uh, and is that it always looked, not always, but it off, except for schizophrenia and stuff looks obviously like that person's sick and can't help it.
00:46:04.000But with depression or alcoholism, that kind of thing, it always feels like you could act differently.
00:46:11.000If you just tried a little bit harder, you could not be doing this.
00:46:20.000Schizophrenia you can see is impossible, but it looks to the normal brain like close enough to normal that they could just change their circumstance if only they tried harder.
00:46:29.000And mental illness is maybe the inability to try harder.
00:46:33.000So it's very seductive to the normal brain to think of mentally ill people as like lazy or not trying to get better.
00:48:15.000This doctor told me this weekend, I was talking to a family member that's a doctor, that it takes eight days of a regimen of what's the drug in the current...
00:48:26.000There's one drug that all the opiate addicts are getting addicted to.
00:48:35.000It takes eight days to get hooked, and a treatment regimen is something like 12 days.
00:48:40.000So it's like everybody that's given the treatment regimen for regular pain is having to kick it when they get off, and that's why we've got a crisis.
00:48:49.000That's incredible that eight days in, you're hooked.
00:52:04.000He told me he burned himself at a party in the Caribbean, and in the Caribbean, people would go visit, burn victims from the Caribbean would go visit him.
00:52:13.000They're like a community, like AA or something?
00:52:15.000Yeah, because apparently the pain is so intense and insane that they, How nice.
00:52:26.000But on his Instagram, if you're going to Denver this weekend, Steve-O's going to be in Denver.
00:52:30.000He has horrible burns all over his body.
00:52:34.000And he's looking for some sort of an EMT to take care of him, like someone to help him dress his wounds, because he's still going to do his shows at the Comedy Works.
00:53:01.000But I also want to say to Steve-O, if you listen to this, there's a new stem cell therapy that they've created for people that have burns, where they spray stem cells all over the burn, and the healing time is radically reduced, as well as the scarring.
00:55:32.000You're supposed to, like, for some people, you're supposed to, like, lay them down and stretch their arm, like, pull it out, and then it'll fall back in.
00:55:39.000The most I know about shoulder dislocations is from Lethal Weapon.
00:57:16.000No, like, there's a story about Justin Bieber will make you, like, videotape yourself saying, like, I'm a sound-minded body and I choose to fuck Justin Bieber, you know?
00:58:52.000Asked me to put a cigarette out on her and I was like, I don't think I can do that and I don't think I can do that But I would like kind of ash on her And then I remember that she was she was she kept when she would go down on me and she would kept like horribly like biting me in my genitals and And she was biting my balls,
00:59:49.000My wife's in the room, so she's sucking my balls so hard that...
00:59:54.000Mosh, remember our friend, the girl emailed him and said, just so you know, I know we didn't have sex, but if we had, you didn't have permission and it would have been rape.
01:01:47.000Just like when you say there's the equal dispensation of predators on each side, it's like, well, no, there really aren't, right?
01:01:53.000No, I said there's creeps on both sides.
01:01:55.000I didn't necessarily think it was equal.
01:01:57.000No, but what I mean is, and I wasn't doing that...
01:01:59.000I might have even said that, but it probably was flippant.
01:02:02.000But my point is that the world that women walk around in is one where they fear that the worst case scenario is they're going to be kidnapped, raped, and murdered.
01:02:11.000And our worst case scenario usually is not that.
01:03:22.000We had this guy on the show that was like, the problem is it was all these out-of-work people that just, I don't know about, this was a talking point in the right about the Women's March, or just about protests in general.
01:03:32.000I don't know how these people are able to have such privilege that they can just take work off to go protest.
01:03:37.000It's like, first of all, there's a history of protests where people strike.
01:04:36.000I want to know how you came to that conclusion.
01:04:40.000And oftentimes you can find, especially if you particularly disagree with something someone says and you've thought your side through and you talk to someone with an open mind, you can actually find the holes in their logic and it'll help you understand maybe you've got some holes in your own logic and you're not aware of them.
01:04:56.000And everyone has their own experiences they're drawing from to help them come up with their way of thinking.
01:05:01.000And I definitely, in exploring all those topics, found just what you're saying.
01:05:05.000I found, like, the part of the gun argument that I really fully wrapped my brain and my heart around, the pro-gun, the Second Amendment, right?
01:05:12.000I mean, I'm still not, like, a wildly pro-gun guy, but I totally, 100% had this...
01:05:40.000When you condemn a gun owner, you, the liberal thinker, is going, oh, I'm condemning guns, I'm condemning violence.
01:05:47.000And what you don't understand is you're condemning a person, what they're hearing is you're calling them, their identity, the thing that makes them passionate.
01:05:56.000Illegitimate stupid and based in ignorance and violence and of course a person's gonna react and go go fuck yourself I'll never listen to your argument if you start your argument by basically telling them their whole lifestyle is bullshit Yeah, there's a real problem with the the gun ownership argument and one of the big problems is the mass shootings right everybody Condemns mass shootings.
01:06:17.000They're terrifying and they only happen with most of the time with people's guns and I mean, we've had some situations recently in Europe where people are driving over people with cars, and there's a lot of insane shit that's going on over there with that, and then people have been stabbing people in some places.
01:06:31.000But for the most part, it's guns, right?
01:06:33.000But my thought on it is always that it's a mental health issue.
01:06:37.000There are more guns in this country than there are people.
01:06:39.000So if you have 300 million guns and every once a year or so one of these things happens and you have this mass shooting, this horrible tragedy, one of the most constant things is mental illness.
01:06:51.000Almost all those people are either on psychoactive medicine, Either they're on some sort of a anti-psychotic or an anti-depressant or they're coming off of it.
01:07:00.000They have a history of psychiatric treatment, a history of illness, of mental illness.
01:07:35.000But I also think there's a flaw in that logic because the mass shootings didn't start commensurate with the shutting down of the mental health system.
01:08:16.000I'm not saying the Reagan thing is 100% the reason for it, but it's a big part of why there are so many mentally ill people that were released in that time.
01:08:23.000I mean, I can remember it when I was a kid because my dad was talking about it.
01:08:31.000We just abandon these human beings because their brains aren't working right.
01:08:34.000The idea was that Reagan shut down all the mental health facilities in California.
01:08:38.000And the idea was that they would be replaced by community centers where each community, each neighborhood would have like a check-in center.
01:08:45.000And the check-in centers, of course, were never built.
01:09:02.000I mean, the only thing I was saying, though, was that...
01:09:05.000There's something else happening in America that almost feels mystical or spiritual when it comes to mass shootings.
01:09:12.000Because there are other countries with mentally ill people that have access to guns.
01:09:17.000And maybe it's that we have a lesser standard of care for our mentally ill, but Canada also has people babbling on the streets, although they have limited access to guns.
01:09:28.000There's something else going on, it feels like to me, and this is totally anecdotal and just my opinion.
01:09:33.000But it feels like to me there's some thing that we don't understand that it is of course mental illness and it is of course access to guns and there's some third thing that people don't really can't put your finger on which is like why is this happening here?
01:12:55.000I think every gun advocate or strong gun person we've talked to since...
01:13:00.000Said about that particular place like that's not a place to start.
01:13:03.000It's not a cool place It's unsafe and so we just so I think we picked the wrong place at any rate though I'm thinking about these two boxes of ammunition I'm like I can't go to the dude up front because he'll think you know I'm like a little bitch, you know what I mean?
01:13:16.000I got all this ammo left, you know what I mean?
01:13:18.000So and then she's like Natasha's like don't be an idiot.
01:14:05.000The first time I ever shot one, the first thing I felt when I went into the area where you put the earplugs on and you stand next to these people, and there was these little dividers in the place that I went.
01:15:08.000Well, I don't know if that's the case because he's not actually 15 or it's because now they're talking about a different person who created the original video that was turned into an animated GIF file.
01:15:23.000Trump was on the WWE and he did a thing where he slammed the guy to the ground and so they took that and put a CNN head over the person's body who Trump slammed to the ground and then Trump tweeted it.
01:15:35.000By the way, very offensive, very inappropriate, very non-presidential, pretty fucking funny.
01:15:42.000Okay, but that's nothing compared to him talking about that woman having plastic surgery and saying that her face was bleeding badly from a facelift.
01:16:36.000It's a large number of people, even in the Republican Party.
01:16:40.000But it's way more than half of America now.
01:16:43.000There's a large number of people in the Republican Party that are criticizing it.
01:16:47.000You know what makes me mad is that we called it the Women's March and that no one really gives it respect for what it was because it was the largest protest in our history of our lives was basically an anti-Trump protest.
01:16:59.000Like when that guy was elected and like...
01:17:02.000We should just be talking about that more.
01:17:03.000Like, that's never happened in our lifetimes or our parents' lifetimes.
01:17:13.000I mean, I'm glad it's called the Women's March, but it's just like...
01:17:16.000But she thinks, basically, that the idea of it was marginalized and the scope of it was marginalized because they called themselves the Women's March.
01:17:52.000I mean, nobody really thought that Donald Trump was actually slamming the person that is CNN, that doesn't even have a head, that has a CNN for a head.
01:18:24.000Listen, you are correct, in my opinion, that CNN in particular and the press in general is as filled with warts, not as filled with warts, but is filled with warts in the same way that they're used to do.
01:18:59.000It's this new realm that we're in where these cable networks are struggling so hard to get attention and they're focusing on really crazy shit like CNN had a bunch of people fired for making up fake stories about Russia and Trump or not substantiating these stories and making sure they're correct before they released it and put it live and so three people had to resign.
01:19:26.000I thought CNN, MSNBC, and some other left-leaning thing, although I don't really consider CNN left-leaning, is like at the top of the charts now.
01:19:37.000What I read, and it might be bullshit, I don't know.
01:19:39.000Let's pull this up, see if you can find out.
01:19:41.000What I read was that CNN is down 20% since June, and that Fox is actually up 20%.
01:20:02.000We're all being pumped, filled with misinformation from both sides.
01:20:05.000And each side is so ideologically in their echo chamber that they all accept, the left and the right included, all accept the information that they're getting as gospel truth that cannot be assailed by the other side's facts.
01:20:18.000And so nobody even knows what the truth is anymore.