Nick Swartzen, former drug dealer, tells us his tale of youth gone wild. We discuss the tragic deaths of Prince, Chester Bennington, and Chris Cornell, and talk about Ari's camping trip to the moon. We also talk about the best and worst rock songs of the past decade, and what it means to be a rock and roll hero. We are the Youth Gone Wild! is a production of Native Creative Podcasts. New Song / Artist influenced by Metallica: "Blame It On My Youth" by Fountains of Wayne by The Doors by P.O.V. Join. Movement. Subscribe. Learn more about your ad choices. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and also, Im gonna be giving out some gifts to the best REVIEWS that you leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! Subscribe, Like, and Subscribe to our new podcast Young, Jamie. It helps spread the word to the world about Young Jamie and his podcast! Young Jamie is Young Jamie, AKA Young Jeezy. We love you, Jamie, We Love You, We're Young Jamie. You're a Badass, We'll See You Soon. - Young Jamie's Story: Young Jamie Three, Two-Two-One One-Two One-One-Two, One-Three, One, Two, Three-Three-Four, Three, Four, Four-Five, Five, Six, Six-Four One, and Six-Six, and One, Four One, One More Than One, Three Four, Two More, Two Fours, Four More, Four Fours and One More, Six More, One Five, Fourteen, One Six, Four and One Hundred, and Four More by Young Jamie talks about his life and Four Fingers, Two and Four, and Three Fingers. by and Fourteen by Big Jay Oakerson by . And so Much More by Young, Two And One More by , Four More by Big Joes and Four in this episode of Young Jamie & One, by the is a new song written by a young Jamie, One More and Four by a Young Jamie by Nick, Two, Two by Little Jay and by Alyssa and & shares his story by One of his Story by
00:01:43.000It's so hard for people to understand that you could be the lead singer of like, I mean, arguably one of the biggest bands of our generation.
00:08:20.000See, part of me thinks this is hilarious, but part of me is sad that this guy has to, like, hide...
00:08:26.000What he's into, and he has to hide in bathroom stalls and learn some fucking secret tap.
00:08:32.000And just smell farts from around the world as he's coming.
00:08:36.000According to the arrest report cited by Roll Call, Craig tapped his right foot, which the officer said he recognized as a signal used by persons wishing to engage in lewd conduct.
00:08:45.000But what if you were there and you're just tapping your foot?
00:08:47.000Yeah, what if you're just impatient because your shit's taking so long?
00:10:06.000When something like this happens, I feel like it's one person versus another person.
00:10:10.000I don't really feel like a cop's word is worth more than a regular person's word.
00:10:14.000Because I think a cop is just a regular person.
00:10:16.000I think you should listen to them when they're doing the job.
00:10:18.000But something like this, it might have been exactly as this cop described, but it might have been like that Baltimore cop that got busted planting drugs with his fucking camera.
00:10:27.000He had a body camera on, and what he didn't understand is when you turn on a body camera, it records 30 seconds before you turned it on.
00:10:34.000So just in case you turn it on in a moment of duress with something crazy is going on, you're like, shut the camera, and you press it on, they can see someone committing a crime perhaps.
00:12:09.000You're some regular dude, and you're gonna get thrust into some chaotic, almost semi-war zone in some of these bad neighborhoods these people have to patrol.
00:12:19.000Yeah, and just another world with another set of rules and just shit just going down all the time.
00:12:24.000And anything you're coming up on is most likely a threat to your life.
00:12:35.000You see like one of them low-rider cars, and you see some gangster-looking fellas with some crazy face tattoos and shit, and they're driving one of those cars.
00:12:43.000Can you imagine having to pull over someone who you knew was probably willing to shoot you?
00:12:49.000And you have to talk to them about their brake light being off, or they were five miles an hour above the speed limit.
00:14:44.000That's what's fucking insane to call 911 because she heard what she thought was a woman being assaulted and then to approach the cop car and they get fucking shot.
00:15:13.000You're wearing the enemy uniform, and they know you have a gun.
00:15:17.000And how many of them have watched so many videos on TV of cops planting evidence, or on YouTube, of cops planting evidence of kids being shot by cops, and stories where cops got off.
00:15:35.000Dude, that's a job that is insanely hard to do, and we should figure out a way to re-engineer that position.
00:15:43.000We should figure out a way to give them more help, more support, and explain, like, the only way, like, cops and civilians are gonna get along is if there's no fuck-ups.
00:16:30.000Fuck, man, you're asking some regular person to just be involved in a potential civilian war zone on any given day.
00:16:38.000If you're in Miami, Florida, and someone got gunshots fired in a warehouse, you're like, what are the odds these guys don't have piles of cocaine in this warehouse?
00:17:36.000Mostly vitamins and there's minerals and a bunch of different things that you can get from plants and there's a series of different kinds of nootropics and if you've never looked into it, it's a cool thing to study.
00:17:48.000There are actually supplements out there that enhance your memory and they enhance your reaction time as well.
00:17:54.000Like, you know how you feel like if you're hungover or...
00:18:08.000So we know for sure, this is really obvious to everybody, that there's a difference in your performance based on a variety of factors, right?
00:19:48.000Nutritional cures, like what helps boost neurotransmitters, which helps boost serotonin.
00:19:53.000There's like 5-HTP is a big one that helps boost serotonin.
00:19:58.000And L-tryptophan as well, because L-tryptophan actually converts to 5-HTP. And then you have to add in a bunch of other shit, like adaptogens and B vitamins and all these different things.
00:20:08.000There's a combination that you can hit of nutrients.
00:20:12.000And Bill Romanowski, I think he uses a little caffeine in his as well.
00:20:15.000I don't have anything to do with him, by the way.
00:20:22.000And that's the first thing I found out about.
00:20:24.000I found out about that, and then we wound up making Alpha Brain, which is our version of it, with a bunch of things that work together synergistically.
00:20:31.000And if you take that stuff before bedtime, a lot of times you get freaky dreams.
00:20:37.000Like, if you take it like an hour before bedtime, it seems like right when you go to sleep, That's when it's just getting into your system.
00:20:45.000And I guess when you go into your REM sleep, just get an extra fucking fat juicy pipe of neurotransmitters to work with.
00:24:08.000Everybody wants to be super, super mad.
00:24:11.000Yeah, we were talking about the behind-the-scenes stuff at shows, and about how many different mindsets you have to kind of manage when you're working on a show, and how many people are just looking to get outraged about stuff, especially lately.
00:24:30.000I mean, I send out, like, loose cannon tweets sometimes, and I would do it more back in the day, and then I just...
00:24:36.000Like, the more I, you know, I get shit-faced and then, like, write a tweet, and I'm like, I just, I don't even want to deal with what somehow somebody could...
00:24:43.000I mean, even, like, innocuous, harmless Instagrams and stuff, people will still, like, jump on them.
00:24:49.000I'll be like, hey, you know, like, I saw this bird, and they're like, whoa, what's it, what kind of bird is that?
00:25:07.000But those small percentages you don't forget.
00:25:10.000No, and it's just, I mean, it's the ones that are really irrational.
00:25:13.000And the ones that always make me laugh are people that'll go, like, they'll comment or something, and I don't really, you know, I'll read comments, like, in an Uber or on a plane or something, and I'll just, like, oh, I'll see you, check out the comments.
00:25:22.000Somebody will be like, hey, fuck you, you're a piece of shit.
00:25:35.000You just wrote a whole thing about how I'm a piece of shit, and I just liked it, and now you're like, nah, I just want to get you to respond.
00:25:43.000Yeah, from their perspective, that's the best way to get them to respond.
00:26:07.000Listen, there's a lot of people out there with some fucked up faces that would kill for your face.
00:26:13.000But no, I was saying about dreams, I would have, like, when I would detox from, like, a fucking booze extravaganza, and I would, I would have dreams, that's why I was intrigued, because I would have fucking crazy dreams, where I would be, it would be so lucid.
00:26:26.000I want to hear Riders in the Storm right now.
00:26:40.000I would detox and I would have these dreams and they were so lucid and I'd be like walking around the dream and I would know I was dreaming and I couldn't wake myself up and I would try to wake myself up so then I would try to like jump dive out of a window to wake myself up or try to like do something that will like jar me awake and then I would do it and And then I would wake up,
00:27:01.000and then I would be in another fucking dream.
00:27:04.000And I'd be in my bedroom, and I'd be like, oh, I'm gonna go up and get some water.
00:27:07.000And then all of a sudden I'd realize, oh my god, I'm still in the dream because this isn't the shit on my walls.
00:27:38.000Whether you're lying there with your eyes closed or not, There's a bunch of shit that's going on, a bunch of experiences that your senses are taken in that are pretty fucking remarkably similar to real life.
00:27:59.000Like when you dream like a really weird dream, you just accept the reality of like, like when I remember a dream, I'll be like, yeah, I just totally was in this dream and just accepted that I was like riding a rabbit, you know what I mean?
00:28:10.000Like over a fucking skyscraper to like save Katy Perry's face or something.
00:29:09.000What if they're just some alternative reality that you occasionally Intermingle with when you're conscious or unconscious rather like when you go into a dream state Maybe that's just like the shadow of something that just happened that was real Maybe you have like these these moments that seem like eight hours to you or five hours to you But you're really interfacing with some completely different timeline and some completely different reality and And the world is pliable.
00:29:37.000It's not locked down like rocks aren't rocks and water isn't water, but everything's fluid and changing constantly.
00:29:43.000And that's why when you're in these dreams, you freak out because all of a sudden like the physics of reality are gone.
00:30:00.000If it wasn't real, if reality wasn't real, if we all lived in some sort of a black and white print version of life, and then you got to experience the life that you and I know, doing stand-up and being in LA and flying in planes and using the internet and experiencing life in the 21st century,
00:30:19.000in 2017, you would be like, this is the craziest psychedelic trip.
00:30:24.000If you went to Times Square And you'd never experienced anything like human culture.
00:30:37.000We're so used to it, we don't realize how bizarre the actual world is.
00:30:41.000So it's possible that these dream worlds, that these are just different worlds that you tap into when you conk out.
00:30:47.000Every night is a different world be could be infinite could be you're running a series of lives Like you have multiple lives going on and your decisions you make in this conscious life affect all of them And maybe you have other lives when you're asleep that are conscious when you're awake But much like you're asleep and you don't remember what the fuck is going on when they're asleep They don't remember what the fuck is going on and you interface you might not just be Nick Swartzen and Stand-up comedian.
00:31:15.000You might be an entity that interfaces with multiple different dimensions in the night.
00:31:36.000Like, your brain wants to, everything needs to shut off so that your other self in this other dimension can interact.
00:31:43.000And can go about its its world and maybe eight hours to it is a month or a week to us.
00:31:48.000We don't even fucking know Maybe that's a huge important part of being a person is that other world has to has to coincide with it Maybe that's why Michael Jackson died Because they gave him that shit that conked him out that didn't you don't dream under that shit They would basically put him under anesthesia every night and he wouldn't get to interface with the other world Alright,
00:34:20.000The brain, the human brain, when it gets shut off and then comes back on, it's almost like an old Windows 95 computer when it reboots and you see the DOS thing.
00:38:48.000A form of degenerative brain damage caused by multiple hits to the head.
00:38:51.000At the time of his death, according to the scientist at Brain Injury Research Center, a research center affiliated with West Virginia University, the guy says, in quotes, we would have been very happy if the results had been negative, but multiple areas of Chris Henry's brain showed CTE. And then they go into details about it.
00:39:07.000So you gotta think, like, here's a guy who's in his prime, 28 years old, right?
00:39:48.000I think you can get knocked out in fighting, and you definitely get brain damage in fighting, but I think if you become like a Mighty Mouse, like if you get to a skill level that very few people get to, when you're at a super elite skill level, I think you probably take less damage.
00:40:02.000It's hard to say because there's been some fucking wars with elite.
00:40:05.000I mean, the Mighty Mouse thing might be a bad example because he's so fucking good A lot of his fights are just mismatches.
00:40:12.000It's not like there's another Mighty Mouse out there that's trying to fuck him.
00:43:41.000Yeah, so those are World Taekwondo Federation ones.
00:43:45.000Some of the International Taekwondo Federation ones, those tournaments, a lot of them they did differently and they stuck old school a lot of times.
00:44:47.000It was a big deal, because the Bay State Games is the Olympic Festival, and it was the first time, and I think only time, they ever had Taekwondo in it.
00:44:54.000If I was gonna guess, I think I was 19, so it was like 86. So, uh, these guys, yeah, there's one.
00:45:04.000There's all these kids on a hardwood floor right here.
00:45:06.000See, this might be a tournament where they spar, or it might be a tournament where they, well, that looks like they have headgear on the ground, right?
00:45:13.000They have forms, that little red thing.
00:46:15.000Yeah, that guy was so fucking out there.
00:46:17.000I mean, like, I had friends that were friends with him years ago, and they're like, this dude's just on another planet, you know what I mean?
00:51:31.000I mean, it wouldn't be that popular if it weren't, it didn't have some kind of effect.
00:51:35.000Even like, you know, it's like even like getting in any situation when you're cold and stretching or trying to do anything active, it just sucks.
00:51:44.000Yeah, you can't, you don't perform at your best when it's 80 below zero outside.
00:51:48.000Yeah, like I got a massage the other day and it was freezing, the air conditioning on, and I stopped the guy and I'm like, what the fuck are you doing, man?
00:53:46.000And that was me and I would like sleep in the base like in the or in the attic and then I would be an assassin like on the down low at night But I was always too high or hungover or too drunk Wow and we wanted you to be one of the guys that would be a recurring assassin Dude, I'm in Comedy Central bought it in the room and I wrote the script everybody was like this is hilarious And they were like no and then just passed on it.
00:55:35.000Well, especially, I mean, in Los Angeles, just like, in terms of what I've seen socially out and about, I mean, holy shit, every chick is on Adderall.
00:59:43.000I've not not thought about doing that because I hear I have so many friends we all this we're all from the same talent pool of comedians and Writers and stuff where like everybody has stories where it's like yeah, I pitched this I'm like that's fucking hilarious like yeah It's fucking they were like no, I don't get it Well,
00:59:58.000why don't you just start doing shit on your own?
01:00:00.000Because like this thing you did with Simon Rex in particular I feel like you guys could easily do that on your own and put it on YouTube and I bet it would be giant We could.
01:00:07.000I mean, we're going to try to shop it around to a couple other networks.
01:00:10.000But why get involved with other people?
01:00:12.000Well, because we already have established content.
01:00:14.000So we already have two seasons and it's already there.
01:00:17.000So we just need somebody to go like, yeah, we get it.
01:02:36.000If you bring something with a vision, and you're passionate about it, I would go, okay, Joe is bringing me this impassioned idea that I think is funny, I'll give him a pilot.
01:02:47.000The thing is about shows, this is the really hard part about shows, you're developing them while you're presenting them.
01:02:54.000So, like, the show starts out, it's a new show, you're trying to develop the characters, you develop the way they interact with each other, while you're putting it on the air, like, creating it and putting it on the air.
01:03:02.000Like, as time goes on, things get, like, you saw, like, Seinfeld, like, in the later years, or Friends is a perfect example.
01:03:08.000Everybody knew the characters, everybody just flowed together, you knew, like, even though there were new scripts, like, the thing was so established, like, what was funny about it and how it worked...
01:03:18.000When you're creating a new show, they're always, like, firing people.
01:03:22.000Like, they change out, they'll swap out the wife, and, like, they did it on Bewitched, get her out, bring a new one in, and if you need a black neighbor, like, okay, you need a gay friend.
01:03:31.000You know, when it's not working, everybody wants to throw their fucking jizz into the soup mix, like, I know the fucking perfect thing, this is missing.
01:03:39.000And that's what happens with those shows, right?
01:04:43.000That is, that's how they got started, and that is to this day like one of the funniest fucking things I've ever seen in my life.
01:04:48.000When someone gave it to me, it was actually a girl I was dating.
01:04:51.000She was an agent's assistant, and she got a VHS copy of it, and she brought it over my house, and we watched together, and we were fucking crying, just falling on the ground crying.
01:08:21.000It is the least wolf-like dog that has ever existed on the planet.
01:08:25.000This dog has like zero aggression in him.
01:08:28.000Like even when he play fights, Like a play fight with another dog, there's like zero threat of anybody getting hurt.
01:08:35.000It's like there's the mellowest, calmest, and you gotta think like somehow or another people figured out how to take a wolf and slowly whittle it down until you make that.
01:08:56.000I mean, I think that life is crazy pliable.
01:09:00.000And where you have the best chance of success, I mean, obviously this is not my theory, but where life has the best chance of success, it kind of molds itself to that.
01:09:08.000Whether it's by putting people in colder climates, making their skin lighter so they get more vitamin D because there's no sun out.
01:09:18.000It could be, yeah, and the atmosphere of a dog is, the only way a dog got food, it had to be super cool with people.
01:09:24.000So the dogs that were cool with people are the ones that stuck around, and they kept breeding and breeding, and the ones that are the coolest with the people are the ones that got fed, and the other ones got shot and killed, They didn't get the breed.
01:09:33.000So it's always like the ones that are the coolest with the people.
01:09:35.000They got closer and closer to the campfire, and they got the scraps thrown their way.
01:10:25.000With, like, perfect pom-pom, like, ankles and shit.
01:10:28.000You know what they found out about dogs that's really fucked up is that all of them came from wolves.
01:10:32.000They thought there was, like, that, like, dogs came from, like, a bunch of different wild canids, you know, a bunch of different, like, African dogs and different dogs.
01:11:02.000We could turn it to some cube-like thing that sits in a hard form that we carry around.
01:11:07.000If people found out, hey man, you can't break your bones if you don't have any, you can move things telekinetically now and everyone's gonna fit into this fucking cube, and we just would be this square thing with no bones, just slops right into this...
01:11:18.000Just indestructible plastic barrier that you can carry around in life until you wanted to fuck.
01:11:23.000And then when you wanted to fuck, you guys would get close to the bed and then you would just ooze out on top of each other.
01:11:29.000You would like open your doors together and just ooze on top of each other.
01:11:32.000That's my entire family in Arkansas that you just described.
01:12:33.000They bring in like these connections, these tubes that link up to you.
01:12:38.000And then slowly our bodies devolve to the point where we don't have organs anymore.
01:12:41.000We rely on all our organ functions to be handled outside of the body by machines because it's way more efficient and allows you to stay in the dream state and control your life.
01:16:11.000So when we think of like what we're becoming, we're obviously becoming more passive, we're becoming more better able to deal with interacting with each other without violence, and that all that stuff makes us mushier.
01:17:52.000They're all connected with each other and you, through using a computer or a cell phone or whatever, you're interfacing with nature now.
01:18:00.000You're no longer interfacing with some artificial servers and the Verizon, you know, fucking throttling your data because they don't like using Netflix.
01:18:28.000They have this whole underlying, like, there's like a whole, almost like an internet, of mycelium and, like, fungus and all this different shit, all the network of their root system and everything like that, they communicate with each other.
01:20:33.000It's all some new thing over the last like 20 years that people are beginning to figure out.
01:20:38.000That these plants are somehow or another interacting with each other and maybe interacting with their environment in a way that we just don't understand yet.
01:21:06.000But without language, and whatever the fuck plants use for communicating, it might be some sort of a weird language that they have, but that we don't even perceive.
01:21:14.000But we could even classify that as language?
01:21:23.000I'm asking questions because I... I just- If we could figure out- I want to have a more plant-based diet, but I don't want motherfuckers whispering and shit.
01:22:11.000They're trying to trick you into eating them, so you shit out one of those pits.
01:22:16.000If you get some nice nutritious shit, and especially if you've been eating nothing but peaches, your shit would probably be fucking primo for growing a peach.
01:22:27.000You're out there in the woods, you take a massive dump with a bunch of peach pits in it, and they fertilize, and then a new peach tree grows, and this one's even better.
01:22:36.000It talks you into deep, slowly, just like a wolf becoming a French bulldog, the peaches become sweeter and sweeter and sweeter, and then even we get in the mix.
01:22:45.000This whole peach sweetening shit just ain't happening fast enough for me.
01:22:48.000Me and my boys, Monsanto, we brought scalpels and laser beams and birth control pills and we're gonna figure out how to get these fucking peaches super sweet and they last for a year.
01:27:15.000If you could see it how it really is, sneakers squeaking on aluminum steps, and these people have no microphone, and they're below you, doing their stupid play.
01:27:46.000Some of the theaters that you perform in, when you start performing in theaters across the country, you'll perform in a place that was founded in like 1920. All these weird backstages, you gotta walk through and everything.
01:28:41.000And then afterwards they were like, yeah, there's a fight.
01:28:43.000And then a bunch of people, there's vomit all over the bathrooms.
01:28:46.000So then I went out to the staff and was like, what happened?
01:28:49.000And all the staff were these old women that were like used to plays and musicals and weren't ready for the Nick Swartzen fucking tornado to come in.
01:29:01.000So all these, like, 80-year-old women were not equipped for, like, they said people were sleeping in the bathroom, there was puke on the floor, there was a fist fight.
01:30:35.000You dump the stars of death down your system, and then the food starts coming.
01:30:39.000So the food piles on, your body has to struggle to digest the star and all the fat from your food, like steak and mashed potatoes, if you're feeling non-keto.
01:30:48.000And as it gets cooking, like right when these dudes start...
01:30:54.000You're just in a cyclone of fear and self-doubt and self-criticism and introspective thinking and feeling vulnerable about everyone's watching you and you know you're gonna die and everyone's gonna die.
01:31:10.000And then to top it off though, we bring a litter box.
01:31:15.000And so we all defecate into the litter box.
01:31:17.000And then when they get mad at us, we're like, it's fucking, we're around cats.
01:32:07.000So you know that anybody wearing that is fucking something.
01:32:10.000Yeah, and you know, like, you might, like, try to fuck a female fox, and you pull down the pants, and it's a hairy dude butt, and you're like, well, goddammit.
01:33:02.000I'm sorry if you're a member of the furry community, and I misrepresent you, but some of them have hatches where their asshole is sort of like those old-school pajamas in those Wild West cartoons.
01:33:40.000They probably had buttons in the front and buttons in the shitter.
01:33:42.000I think they had buttons on everything back then.
01:33:44.000So, these kids, they thought that was the future.
01:33:47.000And then they went out there and they got punched in the face the moment they left their house.
01:33:51.000And then probably somebody did terrible things to them and they went to school and they got picked on and then here they are just wishing they were a squirrel.
01:33:58.000I want to be a squirrel, just like in the cartoon.
01:34:00.000That was my favorite thought when I was young and I'd watch the squirrel cartoon.
01:37:01.000I used to hang out with squirrels in New York.
01:37:02.000I would go into Union Square, and I saw a guy get a bag of nuts, and I watched him.
01:37:09.000He would sit in the middle of the park, and the squirrels would come and crawl on him, and he would put a nut in his fist.
01:37:15.000And the squirrels would reach in like it was like a little hole and pull the nut out and eat it on his arm.
01:37:20.000So I studied this guy for weeks and I was like, I want to fucking do that.
01:37:23.000So I go and I get a bag of nuts and I got the courage up and I got into the middle of the park and I sat there and the squirrels started coming on me and I started getting like panicky.
01:44:38.000If it's a white guy and the white guy can walk into the forest and falcons land on him and fucking giraffes come up to him and he gives him an apple and shit, everybody's cool with it.
01:44:46.000But if you had a black guy, like Jet Black, Wesley Snipes Black, and he's walking through the jungle and all the animals flock to him and he and the monkeys, they talk to each other and he tells the monkeys what to do, people will be like, no fucking way!
01:46:33.000But they're trying to jack these chickens.
01:46:37.000They're like on the chicken coop, and one of them swoops down and slams into the mesh, like bangs into the mesh of the chicken coop, like just trying to get at them.
01:46:51.000So I have my kids come out, my wife come out, and we're looking at these birds swooping down, and one of them landing on top of the roof, and the other one's in the trees.
01:46:59.000I'm like, this is so fucking strange, man.
01:48:46.000All throughout the Hollywood Hills, you can see them.
01:48:48.000I don't know if I've ever seen a hawk, maybe.
01:48:50.000My friend Tom, Tom Chironis, director, he was in his house in Studio City and he watched a dove or some small bird just get jacked by a hawk right in front of him.
01:55:39.000Like, there's so many women, like, and obviously not her stature where they're, like, legit movie stars and stuff like that, but, like, some of these pop gals are stuffing so much fucking stuff into their ass that it wiggles like a waterbed when they're shaking themselves.
01:59:21.000They slice your lid and they take like a chunk out of it.
01:59:24.000Like, say if you were cutting up a mango into slices, they take a nice little mango slice and then stitch that bad boy up and then your lids...
02:01:47.000But that was so trippy because you didn't know until they burned their blood who was an alien, so you just walk around like, yeah, what happened to Gary?
02:04:59.000It's like, that critique where people go, it's, you know, they took this, this, and it's like, yeah, movies do borrow certain elements, and especially, like, life had certain stuff that, yeah, devices that they used.
02:05:26.000Television shows like House of Cards and Game of Thrones, these serial shows, they've ruined Movies.
02:05:32.000This is why because like to tell a story in 90 minutes, you're so limited.
02:05:36.000Yeah, you can only get it so invested in the character There's only so many different plot twists you can have like especially like this sort of a genre right like you take an alien lifeform It gets on board the people and tries to kill them.
02:05:48.000Okay How many times have we seen that?
02:05:50.000We've seen that a fucking thousand times in movies, right?
02:10:11.000So I get in my bed and then, uh, I just start hearing like music and like all this stuff and like people, like there was a party next door, but there was no party.
02:10:20.000And then, so I was like, what the fuck?
02:10:22.000And then I'm lying in my bed and I just hear pounding on my floor.
02:10:42.000I've heard people that do those races, those ultramarathon races, they start seeing shit that's not there.
02:10:47.000Cam didn't have that happen to him, but I've heard other people, they see people on the side of the road waving at them that aren't even there.
02:10:54.000Dude, altitude, have you ever gotten, altitude fucks with me real bad.
02:10:58.000My friend Ben, Ben O'Brien, who was on the show last week, the week before last, he was talking about how he was in Nepal, and he was getting altitude sickness while he was in Nepal, and he saw a baby on the side of the road, and there was no baby.
02:12:27.000They're just standing around there in, like, that perfect order that you do on sitcoms when there's a person talking here and there's another person talking about...
02:12:47.000I think that's why I jumped ship in it, because I heard it just derailed super bad, and then I heard the writers didn't think it was going to go that long, and so they ran out of shit.
02:13:47.000One of my favorite moments, I was in an audition one time years ago and the Lord of the Rings had just come out and I had seen it.
02:13:53.000We were auditioning for some shitty movie and he was in the waiting room and they came out and they're like, we're running about 40 minutes behind.
02:13:59.000I was like, are you fucking kidding me?
02:14:00.000He was like, Jesus, man, what the hell?
02:16:15.000It would be nice to bartend and be like, yeah, rum and coke, get a couple Mai Tais over here.
02:16:20.000Just be like cocktail, you know what I mean?
02:16:22.000They can give you a sweet apartment above the bar and you just wake up with a pounding headache every day because you're just drinking yourself to death in paradise.
02:17:08.000I mean, I have a mic, but, you know, they never know when I'm coming.
02:17:12.000I have a mic, so yeah, it's kind of whenever I want to do it immediately.
02:17:16.000You're telling me you wouldn't go to a bar if you knew that every night Joey Diaz was gonna take a microphone and just start walking through the crowd and talking shit.
02:18:46.000When I quit eating dairy, and it was some random dude at a juice bar who worked there, and I was always sick, and he was like, hey man, you're always sick, Swartzen.
02:19:36.000It's an ethical thing to bypass, too, if you really stop and think about it, because there's something fucking creepy about mass-produced, like, handles yanking on titties.
02:19:45.000These cows that are, like, kind of perpetually pregnant.
02:19:47.000Like, isn't that what the cows, like, they're constantly nursing, right?
02:19:52.000So they make them get knocked up in order to have the milk come out, right?
02:20:12.000But I mean, for the most part, I don't really eat a lot of red meat.
02:20:18.000I mean, I eat like chicken and fish, but I'm gonna try to go vegan.
02:20:21.000I'm gonna try to do it for like two weeks.
02:20:23.000You know, one way that you can get protein that's very ethical and you don't even have to think about it too much is scallops and mussels and things along those lines.
02:21:14.000They're super ancient life forms that are kind of meat, but they're almost like what we're talking about, like that fucking gelatinous thing inside of the box.
02:23:57.000Like, the idea, like, there's a total misconception about sodium causing high blood pressure and heart attacks that was all based on a bullshit study that somebody pushed through.
02:24:46.000Meaning, like, you don't want to cover everything in salt, just like you don't want to drink too much water, just like you don't want to eat too much fruit.
02:24:52.000Like, if you eat too many oranges, it's not good.
02:24:54.000You get a hundred oranges, it's not good for you.
02:26:00.000I'm just kind of reading shit and just going by...
02:26:03.000As long as you make sure that you get...
02:26:05.000What you really should do, really should do, and I can send you to a guy, is go to a real good doctor that specializes in nutritional profiles and get your blood work done.
02:26:15.000And let them find out, like, do you need, maybe you need niacin, you need vitamin D, you need vitamin B, like here, you're low in this, you're low in that.
02:26:22.000There's a lot of stuff that people neglect, and they don't even know.
02:26:25.000You know, you don't know until you actually get your blood work done.
02:29:42.000I lost one of my best friends who's like one of my rogue fucking buddies and he, my roommate, was friends with his ex-girlfriend and they were watching a movie and I came home and I went to bed and said hi to him and then the next day he flipped out on me and I texted him and I go,
02:31:00.000I think what we were talking about earlier, how chimps have this horrific behavior, I think there's some of that that's left over in people.
02:31:07.000And I think it comes out when you get involved in relationships and breakups.
02:31:11.000I think you see that angry chimp come out sometimes.
02:31:23.000Yeah, but also, jealousy fueled with alcohol is a disaster.
02:31:27.000Look at people that are in jail right now because they got drunk and got jealous and pulled out a gun or pulled out a baseball bat and just went...
02:31:35.000And then add coke to that and you get confident.
02:32:44.000He has a guy who's like the House Om guy now.
02:32:46.000The guy did Om, and did Om so good, and his name was like fucking Bobby something, like Shala Manga, some fucking ancient, you know, Swami Rick or something like that.
02:32:57.000And this guy does an Om in front of his live audience, and it was so good.
02:33:01.000He's like, will you be the House Om guy?
02:34:13.000He's like, no, like, you're playing, like, a pussy, and it, like, shits out, like, elves, and, like, the elves, like, Like to juggle knives and then they like eat each other's asses.