The Joe Rogan Experience - August 01, 2017


Joe Rogan Experience #992 - Ian Edwards


Episode Stats

Length

2 hours and 45 minutes

Words per Minute

187.44266

Word Count

31,053

Sentence Count

3,469

Misogynist Sentences

69


Summary

In this episode, we talk about crack, immigration, and other random stuff. We also talk about the fact that some people forget facts about each other and others forget facts that don't really matter. Enjoy the episode, and don't forget to leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and we'll read it out in the next episode! XOXO, Ian Edwards Music by Zapsplat and tyops. Art: Mackenzie Moore Music: Hayden Coplen Editor: Will Witwer Mixer: Alex Blumberg Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music and production by PSOVOD, tyops, and mccarten. Editing by Matt DesLauriers Credits: Music: Jeff Kaale (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 54, 56, 56 , 56, 57, 58, 59, 60, 61, and 60, and finally, we finish it all! We hope you like it! Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the podcast! - Ian and I hope you enjoy it! -Jon and Jon talk about drugs, crack, crack and crack. -Jon & Patrice (1:00:30, 1:00, 2:00 -1:15, 6:30 - 6:00-8:00) - 6:15 - 7:00 - 8:10 - 9:30 8:30-9:15 9:40 - 11:00 | 12:15 | 8:40 | 11:20 11:30 | 13:00 / 16:00/16: 13:30/15: 14:30 / 15:40 15:00 +16:15:16 - 16:10 16:15 / 16 :00 / 17:16 17:15 +16 :15 +17:15/16? 21:30 +16 - 17:00?


Transcript

00:00:04.000 Oh, shit.
00:00:06.000 Here we go.
00:00:07.000 Ian Edwards, back from Montreal.
00:00:11.000 Back from another country.
00:00:12.000 What up, man?
00:00:13.000 What's up, brother?
00:00:13.000 Good to see you, man.
00:00:14.000 Good to see you, man.
00:00:16.000 Yeah, man.
00:00:17.000 I was in Montreal at the Comedy Festival.
00:00:20.000 First of all...
00:00:22.000 Canada is right there.
00:00:23.000 Yeah.
00:00:24.000 But it's such a hard country to get into.
00:00:27.000 It's very hard to get into.
00:00:28.000 It's crazy.
00:00:29.000 Yeah, they don't want any douchebags.
00:00:31.000 They have a zero douchebag policy.
00:00:33.000 But listen, I saw the ex-mayor of Montreal, right, in Walking Down Sunset, in front of the comedy store, the one that was on crack.
00:00:45.000 Right?
00:00:45.000 Is that the Toronto guy?
00:00:47.000 The Toronto guy.
00:00:47.000 Rob Ford?
00:00:48.000 You saw that guy?
00:00:48.000 Yeah, I saw that guy one day walking by the comedy store and everybody took pictures with him and he was the mayor and he did crack.
00:00:58.000 There's tape of it, right?
00:00:59.000 Right.
00:01:00.000 So how the fuck did he get here?
00:01:02.000 But Canada won't even take a drunk driver from us.
00:01:05.000 That's true.
00:01:06.000 Well, I think crack, you're probably a better driver when you're on crack.
00:01:10.000 You're just more expeditious.
00:01:12.000 You get things done.
00:01:15.000 If you commit a crime, you can't get into Canada.
00:01:18.000 If you have a DUI, like Patrice had a DUI. Well, not Patrice, but I know people that have DUIs that can't get into Canada.
00:01:27.000 Oh yeah, it's super common.
00:01:29.000 It's super common.
00:01:30.000 You can't work there, you can't get in there.
00:01:32.000 Diaz can't get up there.
00:01:33.000 Say again?
00:01:33.000 Joey Diaz, he can't get up there.
00:01:35.000 Right.
00:01:36.000 But he's got like some real shit.
00:01:38.000 Right, he's got some real shit.
00:01:39.000 Armed kidnapping.
00:01:39.000 But that's why I say DUI, because even though DUIs are serious, the ones where you get convicted...
00:01:45.000 But you do your probation period and you get your license back.
00:01:51.000 Yeah.
00:01:51.000 Even when you get your license back, you can't get into Canada.
00:01:54.000 But somebody who was the mayor and sold crack, and I know other Canadians that probably committed crimes, can be in here.
00:02:02.000 Yeah.
00:02:03.000 Why the fuck is it so tough for me to get into Canada?
00:02:05.000 When I got to the airport, they...
00:02:09.000 I've been to Canada before.
00:02:10.000 So when I got to the airport, they had me to try to fill out some immigration form.
00:02:15.000 And it's three hours.
00:02:17.000 I was like two and a half hours early, thank God.
00:02:19.000 Then they want me to fill out this form on my phone online.
00:02:22.000 It's like 40-something questions.
00:02:24.000 Online?
00:02:25.000 Online.
00:02:26.000 It's the new way to do it?
00:02:26.000 It's the new way to do it.
00:02:28.000 Well, again, I got a British passport.
00:02:30.000 So everybody that just had a straight American passport...
00:02:34.000 Went in.
00:02:35.000 How does that work?
00:02:35.000 You have like a Jamaica passport?
00:02:37.000 Is that what it is?
00:02:37.000 No, I got a British one.
00:02:39.000 Oh, from England?
00:02:39.000 From England, yeah.
00:02:40.000 And so now when you're in America from England, like how does it work?
00:02:45.000 They give you like a...
00:02:46.000 I have a green card.
00:02:47.000 So you're not a full American citizen?
00:02:49.000 No, I'm like a permanent resident earlier.
00:02:51.000 So I can't talk about certain shit with you.
00:02:52.000 Why not?
00:02:52.000 Because then it's like treasonous.
00:02:54.000 I gotta be careful.
00:02:56.000 I gotta be careful.
00:02:57.000 You're from another land.
00:02:58.000 Nah, man, I'm here.
00:02:58.000 You're from another nation.
00:02:59.000 Nah, man, I'm here.
00:03:00.000 Isn't that odd?
00:03:01.000 I mean, that's really odd.
00:03:03.000 Like, here's a perfect example.
00:03:05.000 Perfect example.
00:03:06.000 I didn't know that you were born in England.
00:03:07.000 If you told me, I forgot.
00:03:09.000 Right.
00:03:09.000 You probably forgot.
00:03:10.000 I probably forgot.
00:03:11.000 And people forget.
00:03:11.000 We forget facts about each other.
00:03:13.000 Well, especially that kind of fact, because it doesn't mean anything.
00:03:16.000 Right.
00:03:16.000 It doesn't mean anything.
00:03:17.000 But, like, automatically, like, in the grand scheme of things, I'm supposed to look at you like, oh, you're on the other team.
00:03:23.000 Yeah.
00:03:23.000 You're over here.
00:03:25.000 You could be one of those embedded people.
00:03:26.000 I just read about these Russians, man.
00:03:29.000 These Russians in New Jersey.
00:03:30.000 Did you hear about this?
00:03:31.000 I'm not Russian anymore.
00:03:32.000 Dude, I'm not trusting English people either anymore.
00:03:36.000 The Russians were in, I want to say, Montclair, like a nice area of New Jersey.
00:03:44.000 And they were a regular family.
00:03:47.000 The Russian family.
00:03:48.000 But they weren't really this regular family.
00:03:51.000 They were actually embedded Soviet spies.
00:03:54.000 Well, that sounds like the Americans.
00:03:56.000 Look at that shit.
00:03:57.000 Russian spies, New Jersey home, heading for sale.
00:04:00.000 Damn, don't buy that house.
00:04:03.000 You want someone to watch you fuck?
00:04:04.000 You might find money and shit in there.
00:04:06.000 There's gonna be cameras that watch the shit come out of your asshole.
00:04:09.000 There's probably cameras everywhere.
00:04:12.000 Watch the shit come out of your asshole.
00:04:13.000 I mean, come on, man.
00:04:14.000 You can't get a Russian house from some Russian spies.
00:04:18.000 You gotta be like a crazy person.
00:04:20.000 I don't know.
00:04:21.000 He might find some hidden spaces with money and shit in there.
00:04:24.000 Yeah, maybe feel like a total voyeur.
00:04:26.000 What has he said?
00:04:27.000 He said that he doesn't expect the Russian spy connection to help or hurt the sale.
00:04:32.000 Bitch, you're out of your fucking mind.
00:04:34.000 I mean, that's not the worst thing that can happen to a house.
00:04:37.000 It's just a bunch of, you know, spies.
00:04:40.000 Nobody's, hopefully, nobody's murdered in the house.
00:04:42.000 But when someone's murdered in the house, good luck selling that house.
00:04:46.000 You get the price down.
00:04:48.000 Phew!
00:04:49.000 You're better off just burning it to the ground, smashing that thing, and then rebuilding a new house.
00:04:54.000 And even then people don't want to live there because that's where the old house where the dude got killed used to be.
00:04:58.000 Let me ask you, how old is your house?
00:05:00.000 Is it brand new?
00:05:01.000 Did you the first person in there?
00:05:03.000 No, no, no.
00:05:03.000 I think it was made in the 70s.
00:05:05.000 70s?
00:05:05.000 Yeah.
00:05:05.000 Do you know if anybody was murdered there or died there?
00:05:09.000 I've never seen a ghost.
00:05:11.000 I think they have to inform you.
00:05:13.000 But there's a moratorium.
00:05:15.000 What's that?
00:05:15.000 There's a website you can look it up.
00:05:16.000 I just heard about it.
00:05:17.000 I'm not sure if it doesn't ask you if you knew about it.
00:05:19.000 A website where you can find out if somebody died in your house?
00:05:21.000 Yeah.
00:05:22.000 That's a good move.
00:05:22.000 When and when it was.
00:05:23.000 Yeah, like...
00:05:24.000 Do you remember that...
00:05:26.000 This one always got to me, man.
00:05:28.000 That...
00:05:29.000 Those brothers that shot their parents, the Menendez brothers.
00:05:34.000 One of them had a wig on.
00:05:35.000 Remember, he had this glorious fake head of hair.
00:05:38.000 They made him take it off when he went to jail.
00:05:40.000 It was a really crazy story because they shotgunned their own parents.
00:05:44.000 I'm like, whoa, man, how the fuck does that happen?
00:05:48.000 The one on the left has a total wig.
00:05:52.000 I mean, you look at it now, you go, oh, I get it.
00:05:54.000 No, the one on the right was just blessed.
00:05:57.000 Just straight up blessed with some curly locks.
00:05:59.000 That's hilarious.
00:06:00.000 What the fuck, man?
00:06:01.000 Those sons shotgun their fucking parents, man.
00:06:06.000 Do you know what Kirk Fox used to teach them tennis?
00:06:09.000 That's right.
00:06:11.000 That's right.
00:06:12.000 I do somehow vaguely remember that.
00:06:15.000 So he has a whole story about teaching them tennis.
00:06:20.000 Dude, that scares the shit out of me that people could do that.
00:06:23.000 It doesn't scare the shit out of me nearly as much that people can get so angry at someone that they could shoot them.
00:06:28.000 But it scares the shit out of me that someone could do that to their dad.
00:06:31.000 And their mom, too, right?
00:06:32.000 Didn't they shoot the mom, too?
00:06:34.000 Jesus, they shot.
00:06:35.000 They were adopted, right?
00:06:36.000 Were they?
00:06:37.000 Yeah.
00:06:37.000 I think the Menendez brothers were adopted.
00:06:39.000 Oh, really?
00:06:40.000 Yeah.
00:06:41.000 And I think they're just trying to get money.
00:06:45.000 Oh, what is that?
00:06:46.000 Sexual and psychological abuse they had suffered at the hands of their parents?
00:06:49.000 Oh, well, there you go.
00:06:51.000 I know, it's like you always want to immediately blame it on the kids.
00:06:56.000 Right?
00:06:56.000 Because they killed their parents, but the parents could have been fucking monsters.
00:07:00.000 Yeah, you never know.
00:07:01.000 Oh, well, they have to be monsters.
00:07:03.000 I mean, if you think about it, how do you make a kid that is capable of shooting you in your sleep?
00:07:08.000 You've got to raise that kid horribly.
00:07:11.000 Unless you just, by dumb luck, have two complete genetic psychopaths from birth that you could have done nothing to fix.
00:07:19.000 You've got two guys that are willing to shoot you while you're sleeping, and you raise them from the time they were babies?
00:07:26.000 That's crazy.
00:07:28.000 Yeah, man.
00:07:28.000 Anyway, I was gonna say their house.
00:07:31.000 Yeah, I wonder what happened to their house.
00:07:32.000 Burnt that fucking thing to the ground, probably.
00:07:34.000 I wonder what happened to, like, Nicole Simpson's house.
00:07:38.000 Oh!
00:07:39.000 I think it's still there.
00:07:40.000 Did somebody live there?
00:07:41.000 Wasn't Nicole Simpsons, was that a house or was that outside an apartment building?
00:07:45.000 It was a condo.
00:07:46.000 It was a condo.
00:07:48.000 Goddamn, man.
00:07:49.000 That's a weird one because that's like it's a public building.
00:07:52.000 You gotta just deal with it.
00:07:53.000 People just deal with it.
00:07:54.000 Is that apartment like still empty?
00:07:56.000 Hers?
00:07:57.000 Nah.
00:07:57.000 He killed them on the street, right?
00:08:00.000 He killed them outside.
00:08:01.000 But every time you go home, you have to step over a crime scene to walk into your house.
00:08:06.000 Hmm.
00:08:07.000 And you've seen the pictures.
00:08:09.000 Yeah.
00:08:10.000 You know the history.
00:08:12.000 Every time an OJ documentary comes out, or every time they have an OJ series on TV, or when his parole hearing comes up, you're like, walking over the doorway into that house.
00:08:28.000 So I wonder, like, I want to talk to the person who doesn't give a fuck and lives in that motherfucker.
00:08:35.000 You know what I'm saying?
00:08:36.000 Yeah, it doesn't bother him at all.
00:08:37.000 Like a deal's a deal, baby.
00:08:38.000 This house is badass.
00:08:39.000 That is Sprintwood.
00:08:41.000 Yeah.
00:08:42.000 Listen, she should have been nicer to him.
00:08:44.000 Damn.
00:08:44.000 Did you ever see the autopsy photos?
00:08:47.000 Uh, did I? Don't.
00:08:49.000 No?
00:08:50.000 If you haven't, don't.
00:08:51.000 It's not worth it.
00:08:52.000 You get it.
00:08:53.000 I saw the murder scene photos.
00:08:55.000 It's just so hard to believe that someone could do that to someone.
00:08:59.000 Yeah, it's pretty crazy.
00:09:00.000 That they cared about, that they had babies with.
00:09:02.000 Right.
00:09:03.000 Just people get crazy.
00:09:05.000 It's Game of Thrones out here.
00:09:08.000 But just rarely.
00:09:09.000 That's what it is.
00:09:10.000 It's like every week, it's the Game of Thrones.
00:09:12.000 It's normal on the Game of Thrones, which I just started watching in.
00:09:15.000 You did?
00:09:16.000 Yeah, I didn't know what the fuck was going on, man.
00:09:18.000 I started watching this new season.
00:09:19.000 I was like, I forgot everything.
00:09:21.000 I've started watching it, like a few months ago, I started watching it over from the beginning.
00:09:26.000 That's what you should do.
00:09:27.000 Watch it from season one and you see how much stuff you didn't know or didn't understand or didn't realize.
00:09:33.000 Because Game of Thrones, they don't give a fuck.
00:09:35.000 They'll introduce a new character and have him talk to a regular character like they've been talking for a while.
00:09:40.000 And you're like, did I miss something?
00:09:42.000 Exactly.
00:09:43.000 But then if you go back, you know, no, that guy is new.
00:09:45.000 I'm not supposed to know him.
00:09:47.000 It's like homework.
00:09:48.000 You gotta do research to understand that show.
00:09:50.000 Well, these kind of shows have kind of stopped my interest in movies.
00:09:54.000 Yeah.
00:09:55.000 Like, movies are okay, but a movie's 90 minutes.
00:09:59.000 That's it.
00:09:59.000 Or two hours.
00:10:00.000 It's over.
00:10:00.000 When it's over, I'm done.
00:10:02.000 Right.
00:10:03.000 But these goddamn things get you infested.
00:10:05.000 Yeah.
00:10:07.000 Like, I'm not, like...
00:10:09.000 What is this?
00:10:10.000 A nerd.
00:10:11.000 HBO hacked upcoming episodes.
00:10:13.000 Game of Thrones data leaked online.
00:10:15.000 Be careful what you look at now.
00:10:17.000 It's all out there.
00:10:18.000 So the results, like the scripts, is that what they mean by data?
00:10:21.000 No, no, like the shows.
00:10:23.000 Oh, no.
00:10:24.000 The actual...
00:10:24.000 Yeah, like they have them.
00:10:25.000 Oh, no.
00:10:26.000 There was a big hack recently.
00:10:27.000 Some other shows got taken, too.
00:10:28.000 Oh, yeah.
00:10:28.000 They should just edit offline.
00:10:30.000 Oh, my goodness.
00:10:32.000 Monsters.
00:10:33.000 You monsters.
00:10:34.000 How dare you?
00:10:35.000 Be careful.
00:10:36.000 Yeah.
00:10:37.000 Some whiz kid, right?
00:10:38.000 Probably from China.
00:10:39.000 Something like that.
00:10:40.000 Yeah, we can't compete anymore.
00:10:43.000 Russia's kicking everybody out of Russia.
00:10:45.000 You hear about that shit?
00:10:46.000 They are.
00:10:46.000 All the people that are working at the embassy.
00:10:49.000 75 American delegates or whatever they would be called.
00:10:52.000 I'm sure they're happy to go home.
00:10:54.000 Yeah, they're like, get me the fuck out of here.
00:10:57.000 Unless they got something going on.
00:10:58.000 Yeah.
00:10:59.000 Got some crazy fake Russian life over there.
00:11:02.000 Just like the people in Montclair.
00:11:04.000 755. 755 diplomats.
00:11:08.000 What does that mean?
00:11:09.000 Are we going to war with Russia?
00:11:10.000 Nah.
00:11:11.000 Come on, man.
00:11:11.000 They've got, in Montclair, right?
00:11:13.000 They got a house.
00:11:14.000 People just living there.
00:11:15.000 What happened to those people in that house?
00:11:17.000 Did they kick them out?
00:11:18.000 Put them in jail?
00:11:19.000 I think they put them in jail.
00:11:20.000 Go back to that story.
00:11:21.000 Like, how'd they find out they were spies?
00:11:23.000 That's a good question, man.
00:11:25.000 That's a real good question.
00:11:26.000 They just went to the house sale?
00:11:27.000 Like, whoa, give me some explanation here, y'all.
00:11:30.000 It says their story partially inspired the FX drama The Americans about two undercover Russian spies living in the U.S. with two young children.
00:11:38.000 That's a fucking amazing show.
00:11:40.000 Is it really?
00:11:41.000 The Americans is...
00:11:42.000 So fucking amazing.
00:11:44.000 Really?
00:11:44.000 Yeah, man.
00:11:44.000 What's it on?
00:11:45.000 FX. It's right in front of me.
00:11:49.000 Vladimir and Lydia...
00:11:51.000 How do you say that name?
00:11:53.000 Guryev.
00:11:53.000 Vladimir and Lydia Guryev lived in the home in Montclair under the names Richard and Cynthia Murphy.
00:12:00.000 Hi, we're Richard and Cynthia Murphy.
00:12:02.000 Hi.
00:12:03.000 I wonder what they talked like before they arrested in 2010, along with eight other spies accused of leading double lives, complete with false passports, secret code words, fake names, invisible ink, and encrypted radio.
00:12:17.000 Whoa.
00:12:17.000 Invisible ink.
00:12:17.000 Dude, what kind of weird ass life is that?
00:12:20.000 It's weird to think that there's someone that could be a spy in your neighborhood and that he thinks that you're the enemy because you're born over here and he was born over there.
00:12:32.000 You know, just like what we were talking about with you having a passport from England.
00:12:36.000 But what's in Jersey that they're living in Jersey and doing this shit?
00:12:41.000 Like, who are they close to?
00:12:42.000 Well, Jersey's close to New York, first of all.
00:12:45.000 And there's a lot of very wealthy people that live in Montclair.
00:12:49.000 I believe Montclair is a very nice area.
00:12:52.000 Google that.
00:12:53.000 Should be.
00:12:54.000 My uncle used to have a pottery studio.
00:12:57.000 A pottery studio?
00:12:58.000 In Montclair.
00:12:59.000 That is some rich white shit.
00:13:03.000 Well, it was more like hippie artist stuff.
00:13:05.000 He's an art teacher.
00:13:06.000 He used to teach art in school.
00:13:09.000 I don't think it was in high school.
00:13:11.000 I think high school.
00:13:13.000 What's that?
00:13:14.000 How do I look that up?
00:13:15.000 Montclair, New Jersey.
00:13:19.000 What's that word they use?
00:13:20.000 Medium income?
00:13:22.000 Yeah.
00:13:23.000 Look up that.
00:13:24.000 I think it's a baller place.
00:13:25.000 I think it's like Beverly Hills.
00:13:27.000 It's like the Beverly Hills of New Jersey.
00:13:29.000 Maybe I'm exaggerating.
00:13:32.000 That's a lot of money.
00:13:34.000 For the average, that probably means a lot of rich people.
00:13:38.000 Yeah.
00:13:39.000 There's probably a lot of rich people.
00:13:40.000 That's just one poor rich person that brought that price down.
00:13:43.000 Maybe these...
00:13:44.000 Why do you think they do it?
00:13:45.000 Okay, let's take a guess.
00:13:46.000 Do you think they sneak in, they become spies, they get tight with rich people, and then, you know, like, look, I know a family that had Ted fucking Cruz over their house for some event they were holding.
00:13:59.000 This is like...
00:14:00.000 Like a year or so before the election maybe two years before the election like these people were so baller They had Ted Cruz give like one of those stupid stump speeches in their house For money.
00:14:13.000 To raise money.
00:14:15.000 To raise money.
00:14:15.000 They're like big pro-Israel supporters.
00:14:17.000 They have Ted Cruz in their house talking about Israel.
00:14:20.000 Very trippy shit.
00:14:22.000 Like very trippy shit.
00:14:23.000 Like you're literally hanging out in your house with a guy that might be running the nukes.
00:14:30.000 Right.
00:14:31.000 Yeah.
00:14:32.000 Like, so, if you're a Russian spy, you can get tight with that dude.
00:14:35.000 You can hang with that dude.
00:14:37.000 Hey, Frank, is Ted Cruz really coming over your mind?
00:14:39.000 I'll tell you what.
00:14:40.000 It makes a lot of sense.
00:14:41.000 There's a lot of his policies that I'm really agreeing with.
00:14:43.000 Then you just call up the Russian embassy, send me some money so I can donate to Ted Cruz and get close to Ted Cruz.
00:14:48.000 And you just bring in a truckload of Vietnamese hookers.
00:14:52.000 Just back it up.
00:14:53.000 Beep!
00:14:55.000 Beep!
00:14:56.000 Get Ted all fucked up on that same meth that Rob Ford had.
00:14:59.000 It's hilarious.
00:15:00.000 Right?
00:15:01.000 Get the party rolling.
00:15:03.000 Start filming.
00:15:04.000 Start filming, Ted.
00:15:05.000 We need to know.
00:15:06.000 Start having blackmail info on Ted Cruz.
00:15:09.000 Yeah, we need to know we can count on you.
00:15:12.000 Everybody keeps getting fired from the White House.
00:15:13.000 Does anybody understand what the fuck is going on over there?
00:15:16.000 Yeah, was anybody fired today yet?
00:15:18.000 There's a meme, that Scaramucci guy, however you say his name, there's a meme of him where he's going like that, like with his mouth up like, uh, uh, and it said, if you get this job, where do you see yourself in 10 days?
00:15:35.000 Hilarious, that's funny.
00:15:37.000 How do you hire a guy who clearly looks like he's done coke?
00:15:43.000 Does he?
00:15:43.000 He looks like a wolf of Wall Street.
00:15:45.000 Yeah, he looks like a wolf of Wall Street.
00:15:47.000 Look at him.
00:15:47.000 Like, this is the guy?
00:15:49.000 Yeah.
00:15:50.000 Just on looks alone.
00:15:51.000 Like, this cocky.
00:15:53.000 He's a hedge fund jock, you know?
00:15:56.000 He follows everybody online.
00:15:58.000 He probably follows you.
00:16:00.000 Hilarious.
00:16:00.000 He follows me.
00:16:01.000 He does?
00:16:02.000 Yep.
00:16:02.000 Yeah, that makes sense.
00:16:03.000 I think he follows everybody.
00:16:05.000 He follows like 150,000 people.
00:16:06.000 Would you ever have him on the show?
00:16:07.000 Of course.
00:16:08.000 Yeah, that's a great guess.
00:16:09.000 I would love to talk to one of those dudes.
00:16:11.000 Find out what it's like in there.
00:16:12.000 Especially a guy who's in there for like 10 days.
00:16:14.000 This guy will talk.
00:16:15.000 Well, I have had a hedge fund guy.
00:16:17.000 I've had that Peter Schiff guy on before, Financial Wizard.
00:16:19.000 He's coming on again.
00:16:21.000 He's an interesting cat.
00:16:22.000 He's a big-time Wall Street guy.
00:16:24.000 I mean, he's got some gigantic firm that employs who knows how many fucking people.
00:16:29.000 Mm-hmm.
00:16:29.000 But he's also always on television breaking down what's wrong with financial bubbles, like the real estate bubble.
00:16:36.000 He called all that shit, the subprime mortgage bubble.
00:16:39.000 He called all that shit years ago.
00:16:41.000 He's like, this is going to fall apart.
00:16:42.000 I'm calling the Netflix bubble right now.
00:16:44.000 Ooh, how dare you?
00:16:46.000 It can't sustain itself.
00:16:48.000 You're not the only one, by the way.
00:16:49.000 All right, cool.
00:16:50.000 There was an article that was out just yesterday about debt.
00:16:53.000 There was something about Netflix being in debt.
00:16:57.000 I think it was said it was someone at the Times did an investigation and it was just like they found out they're $20 billion in debt.
00:17:03.000 How's that possible?
00:17:05.000 Because they're spending so much money on these shows, man, and promoting them.
00:17:08.000 And it's like, listen, they just celebrated a few months ago their hundredth million customer, like whatever they call it.
00:17:17.000 Hundred million?
00:17:18.000 Yeah.
00:17:19.000 So that means they make...
00:17:20.000 Like if Facebook had that, Facebook would be laughing.
00:17:22.000 Because Facebook's got how many subscribers?
00:17:25.000 Right, but there's a big difference.
00:17:27.000 Facebook doesn't get $9 a month from you.
00:17:29.000 Right.
00:17:29.000 Each one of those hundred million people are giving $9 a month.
00:17:32.000 That's $900 million a month.
00:17:35.000 I'm not good at math, but I think that's...
00:17:36.000 That's almost a billion dollars a month.
00:17:38.000 That's $12 billion a year.
00:17:39.000 Right.
00:17:40.000 Or maybe $10.
00:17:41.000 $10 billion a year.
00:17:43.000 It's an insane amount of money.
00:17:44.000 You know what it is?
00:17:45.000 What?
00:17:46.000 This is what it is.
00:17:48.000 Man.
00:17:49.000 Man is so valuable.
00:17:51.000 Right.
00:17:52.000 I know.
00:17:53.000 Even when something can work, like, they make systems that work.
00:17:56.000 Right.
00:17:57.000 But the problem with those systems is that humans run those systems.
00:18:02.000 Right.
00:18:02.000 And they are so fallible that they fuck shit up.
00:18:06.000 Is that the right way to say that word?
00:18:07.000 Fallible?
00:18:08.000 Probably not.
00:18:09.000 Sounds perfect, though.
00:18:10.000 But, yeah, it sounds good.
00:18:11.000 I know exactly what you're saying.
00:18:11.000 Don't look it up, people.
00:18:12.000 Fallible?
00:18:13.000 I always thought it was fallible.
00:18:14.000 It was fallible.
00:18:15.000 It must be my British, Jamaican accent makes things sound different.
00:18:21.000 But there's always those words that you never say, but you see written, and you know the word.
00:18:26.000 Be like, how am I saying this?
00:18:27.000 Like, I know what this is, but I don't say it.
00:18:30.000 Can't come up with a good example.
00:18:31.000 That is one of them.
00:18:31.000 You know what?
00:18:32.000 It's funny.
00:18:32.000 I don't remember ever saying that word.
00:18:35.000 Oh, Reuters.
00:18:36.000 Reuters is one.
00:18:38.000 Like, I never say Reuters, like the Reuters news source, but when I look at it, I go, okay, I know what that is.
00:18:44.000 I've read it a thousand times, but how do I say that?
00:18:47.000 Routers?
00:18:47.000 Rooters?
00:18:48.000 Rooters?
00:18:49.000 Rooters?
00:18:49.000 Rooters sounds right.
00:18:50.000 It is the right way to say it.
00:18:52.000 That's what everybody says it.
00:18:53.000 But when left to my own devices, especially, I'll just, how the fuck do I pronounce this?
00:19:00.000 I have way too much totally useless information going around inside my head.
00:19:06.000 I've got to do some spring cleaning.
00:19:08.000 I've got to throw away some childhood memories.
00:19:11.000 I gotta throw away some childhood memories that are not serving me.
00:19:14.000 It's hilarious.
00:19:14.000 They're just taking up space in my head.
00:19:17.000 You run out of hard drive space, man.
00:19:19.000 Yeah, you do.
00:19:20.000 Every day you're looking at some new story.
00:19:22.000 Every day there's some new thing going on.
00:19:24.000 And especially if you're trying to follow Game of Thrones, and maybe House of Cards 2, and maybe Stranger Things.
00:19:30.000 I remember when I used to remember everything.
00:19:32.000 Like, I could remember every movie, every part of every movie, every part of my childhood.
00:19:38.000 And then now, somebody said, remember that time we did this?
00:19:41.000 And I'm like, you were there?
00:19:44.000 Like, I remember the time, but I don't remember that you were there, but I guess you were.
00:19:49.000 Like, now my memory's full.
00:19:53.000 I need to go to the Mac store and have some shit added.
00:19:56.000 Yeah, but if you were like an old farmer, you'd remember all that shit.
00:20:01.000 It was just every day getting up, milking the cows, picking the eggs, killing a sheep or something for dinner.
00:20:08.000 You would have those memories.
00:20:11.000 Because you're in that same spot every day thinking about your childhood.
00:20:14.000 Yeah, and you're away from all the distractions and shit that could come in your head.
00:20:19.000 Yeah, no books.
00:20:21.000 No books?
00:20:21.000 No, no.
00:20:22.000 You gotta eat cheese and go to sleep.
00:20:23.000 They should probably just read one book, like, over and over.
00:20:26.000 They got five books.
00:20:27.000 The Bible's all you need.
00:20:28.000 It's an amazing storybook.
00:20:33.000 It is written in storybook form.
00:20:35.000 Well, it's what it was.
00:20:36.000 The Bible is a fascinating book in that you start off with someone telling stories for like a thousand years before you write it down, and then you got a bunch of really old versions of the story.
00:20:51.000 No one's sure which ones to use.
00:20:53.000 They got the version that's in the Dead Sea Scrolls.
00:20:56.000 That's the oldest versions of some of those stories, and it's one of the only I think maybe the only one that's written in Aramaic.
00:21:07.000 Oh, right.
00:21:08.000 And they found it in these clay pots in Qumran.
00:21:10.000 And Qumran is an area in Israel.
00:21:13.000 So they have these little caves, and they would find these clay pots.
00:21:17.000 And in these clay pots, they got these scrolls that are made out of animal skins, a lot of them.
00:21:21.000 Mm-hmm.
00:21:21.000 So they take these scrolls out.
00:21:23.000 It's so crazy.
00:21:24.000 It takes like, I think it took them like 14 to 15 years just to piece it together.
00:21:29.000 Damn.
00:21:30.000 Dude, they're all broken up and shit and they couldn't figure out what goes with what.
00:21:33.000 So they had to take DNA tests on the actual pieces of animal skin so they could tell, okay, well this is some skin from this animal.
00:21:43.000 So let's concentrate on this.
00:21:45.000 All these pieces have been genetically tested to be from this animal.
00:21:48.000 So let's put these together because they're probably the same scroll.
00:21:50.000 And they have to figure out how to take these crumbs and chunks that are just thousands of years old.
00:21:56.000 And I'm supposed to trust this?
00:21:59.000 Well, not only that, it's also you're reading it in an ancient, ancient language.
00:22:05.000 You're reading it in also the references and the way people thought back then.
00:22:12.000 Yeah.
00:22:14.000 Then they have like the oldest version of the the Hebrew Bible is Like the the very oldest versions were written in ancient Hebrew and ancient Hebrew is crazy because it has numbers as well as letters So like like if you have a letter a it's also the number one.
00:22:32.000 It's all the same It's all linked in so like when you have a word like words have like a numerical value And if I'm butchering this, if anyone's an ancient Hebrew representative, but Ari and I discussed this for a couple times, because Ari, you know, went to,
00:22:48.000 what is it called, like, that thing that they send him off to, that religious camp when he was, you know, Ari was like a serious, serious Orthodox Jew.
00:22:56.000 Oh, so that's why he's such a serious atheist now.
00:22:59.000 Oh, you're such a freak now.
00:23:00.000 But that's exactly why.
00:23:02.000 But, so, like, their words had numerical value.
00:23:05.000 So, like, the word God and the word love, they have the same numerical value.
00:23:09.000 So, you know, like, with, you know, the letter L, the letter O, and they all have, like, numbers.
00:23:14.000 Like, we can't even think like that because none of our words have numerical value.
00:23:17.000 But, like, the actual meaning of a word has more value with more numbers to it.
00:23:22.000 It's really interesting.
00:23:24.000 All that stuff's lost.
00:23:26.000 On our stupid, goofy language, because when they translated it to Latin, they translated it to Greek or to English, it's all kind of lost.
00:23:33.000 And then who was translating this shit?
00:23:35.000 Everything is based off, like, what your goal is, or what your perception of the world is, and where you're from and how you were raised, and what you want this thing to mean to people.
00:23:48.000 You can't get away from that.
00:23:50.000 So if you're the person putting this stuff together and translating it, how do you not let your influence influence this thing?
00:23:59.000 You do, right?
00:24:00.000 You tweak it a little.
00:24:01.000 You tweak it.
00:24:02.000 You want it to mean the things that it means to you.
00:24:05.000 Even if you just want people to believe this is an ancient scroll that you found.
00:24:11.000 And this goes back to you finding it and it goes to your name and to your legacy.
00:24:17.000 Well, there's also massive amounts of evidence of people looking at something and then having a distorted perception of what that something means and having that bend in their favor.
00:24:28.000 Right, exactly.
00:24:29.000 There's just like so many points of evidence.
00:24:32.000 I do that with all my relationships.
00:24:35.000 I mean, how many people think that they're the victim?
00:24:39.000 How many people are just running around thinking the world's against them?
00:24:42.000 Total victim in my relationships.
00:24:43.000 Yeah.
00:24:45.000 So that's just evidence of biased thinking.
00:24:49.000 If you have biased thinking in regards to the way that the God of gods wants to govern humanity and our behavior and how we should behave with each other and treat each other, if you're going to let your own personal ego and biases get in the way,
00:25:04.000 which it absolutely did.
00:25:06.000 There's shit written in the Bible that treats women as second-class citizens.
00:25:10.000 It condones slavery.
00:25:11.000 There's no...
00:25:14.000 Talking about slavery as if it's some horrible thing that has to be like banished right this can like there's in the ancient Hebrew Bible They condone slavery this there's really nothing bad about being about having slaves It's like God doesn't come and kill you but God will kill you if you wear two different types of cloth I know like like they'll burn witches Like,
00:25:35.000 you know what?
00:25:35.000 You're a witch.
00:25:36.000 Why?
00:25:37.000 Because I said you're a witch.
00:25:38.000 But you know what's not evil?
00:25:40.000 Slaves.
00:25:41.000 Yeah, the Inquisition.
00:25:42.000 Capturing people.
00:25:43.000 The Inquisition.
00:25:44.000 During the Inquisition, they weren't torturing people because they had slaves.
00:25:47.000 Right.
00:25:48.000 Because they thought they were witches.
00:25:50.000 They were torturing people because they just didn't believe enough.
00:25:52.000 They didn't believe the right way.
00:25:54.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:25:55.000 Or they caught you doing something.
00:25:56.000 Or if you wanted to get rid of somebody that, say somebody had a job that you wanted, a position that you wanted, If you could prove that that person slandered God or blasphemed or anything, then you're out.
00:26:13.000 That's the standard maneuver, right?
00:26:14.000 Yeah.
00:26:15.000 You get the government to get rid of this person for you.
00:26:18.000 That's how you get shit like North Korea, and that's how you get shit like ISIS. You know, you just, everybody turning on everybody.
00:26:28.000 Everybody trying to figure out a way that they can use their power.
00:26:32.000 But that's what's kind of happening in America, too.
00:26:34.000 A little bit.
00:26:34.000 Yeah.
00:26:35.000 There was an article in the, I think it was the New Yorker, just like two days ago.
00:26:39.000 The Senator.
00:26:41.000 Was it a senator who wrote it?
00:26:43.000 I just read an article last night.
00:26:45.000 It's a Republican senator, and he said when Obama was president, the Republicans made a concerted effort to just push the Republican agenda and make Obama a one-term president.
00:26:58.000 And now that Trump has hijacked their party, they're kind of turning a blind eye at the things that they wouldn't have if...
00:27:07.000 Obama was president just because Trump is the Republican candidate.
00:27:13.000 And he's like, where are our loyalties, to our party or to this country?
00:27:17.000 Because we're kind of like fucking up the country, you know?
00:27:22.000 And it's kind of like when Obama was president, no matter what you think of him, If he was a good president, right?
00:27:33.000 Say he's a good president.
00:27:34.000 Because he's not your person, you're going to shut down the things that he's doing to get your party in power.
00:27:41.000 You don't give a fuck.
00:27:42.000 Because all you care about is your party winning.
00:27:47.000 And now that Trump is president, the Democrats are taking the same thing from the same book.
00:27:53.000 And I'm not even saying Trump is a good president, but I'm just saying everybody's turning on everybody.
00:27:58.000 Yeah, they're all trying to figure out a way to win so they get their agenda forward.
00:28:01.000 And that's not the country's agenda.
00:28:03.000 No.
00:28:03.000 At all.
00:28:04.000 So we're destroying...
00:28:05.000 We're destroying each other.
00:28:09.000 Well, there's definitely like a battle between the two sides right now, you know?
00:28:13.000 I mean, there's a lot of people that are getting excited by it.
00:28:16.000 They take...
00:28:18.000 They have not just a vested interest in it, but it becomes like a part of their identity to be a part of the resistance to fighting against this evil empire.
00:28:26.000 But at the detriment of...
00:28:28.000 But maybe not.
00:28:29.000 I mean, it really depends.
00:28:30.000 Because when you put a tremendous amount of pressure on someone, like they're putting on Trump...
00:28:34.000 Whether you agree with it or not, it forces that person to realize that there's people like that out there and you adjust accordingly.
00:28:40.000 It moves the tide a couple of degrees one way or the other.
00:28:44.000 It just does.
00:28:45.000 The idea that we're not culturally malleable, that our culture doesn't shift back and forth, it certainly does.
00:28:51.000 Things that used to be totally acceptable are now completely taboo.
00:28:55.000 And that's just over the course of the last decade or so.
00:28:58.000 So I think that even the far left, it's all necessary.
00:29:02.000 It just doesn't seem necessary because we're caught up in it and we can see.
00:29:06.000 If we just meet in the middle somewhere, it can all be...
00:29:09.000 But if you just looked at this thing objectively, not like a human being even.
00:29:14.000 Right.
00:29:14.000 Look at it like a mathematic problem.
00:29:16.000 Right.
00:29:20.000 You would say, oh well there's this complete constant shift of energy.
00:29:24.000 It goes left and right and left and right like some crazy ping-pong game.
00:29:29.000 Occasionally it goes right and then right again.
00:29:31.000 Very rarely like Reagan and then Bush Senior, but then it bounces itself out and goes left again.
00:29:37.000 It's this weird battle and along the way, if you look at it, like if you really step away from it, along the way there are incremental changes that are moving in a good direction.
00:29:49.000 It's just hard to see them because there's a lot of bad shit happening.
00:29:52.000 Yeah, I get that.
00:29:53.000 And then we only hear about...
00:29:56.000 The stuff, the bad stuff, because each side is just trying to get points from the other side.
00:30:03.000 But I'm just saying that when one party, no matter what party, is trying to do something good, even if it's something good, then the people from the other party are going to be against it, because they don't want that party to score that good point.
00:30:17.000 So then they knock that off the table, and that thing that could help people is never going to help people.
00:30:24.000 I think it's also a part of having two teams.
00:30:27.000 Think if there was way more teams, if there was like 20 or 30 different parties, we'd be way better off.
00:30:32.000 Think we'd be better off?
00:30:33.000 Yeah, politicians are spread across 20 or 30 different parties instead of jammed into one or the other, or the freaks that are independent or a green party.
00:30:43.000 Like, get the fuck out of here with your green party.
00:30:45.000 That's goofy.
00:30:46.000 No one's going to elect a Green Party president.
00:30:48.000 All the bankers are going to put a stop to that.
00:30:50.000 This guy's just going to steal money from us.
00:30:52.000 Fuck this.
00:30:53.000 He's going to give it to penguins and shit.
00:30:55.000 He's going to give our money to penguins.
00:30:57.000 Yeah, so you got really three choices.
00:30:59.000 You got independent, which is so rare.
00:31:00.000 The only person I could think ever winning as an independent right now, honestly, would be someone like Trump or like Elon Musk or like Mark Cuban.
00:31:09.000 Yeah, Trump is basically an independent who hijacked the Republican Party.
00:31:13.000 Well, he voted Democrat, like, his whole life.
00:31:16.000 He was pro-choice, like, his whole life.
00:31:18.000 You know, it's like he's been on the side of Democratic issues forever.
00:31:24.000 Right.
00:31:24.000 I mean, I saw the video where he said...
00:31:27.000 I saw the video, right?
00:31:29.000 The day before...
00:31:29.000 I saw it twice.
00:31:30.000 The last time I saw it was the day...
00:31:33.000 Before the election where he said if I was gonna run I would run as a Republican because Republicans are stupid and blah blah blah.
00:31:42.000 I saw that video like him being interviewed.
00:31:44.000 I tell you the next day that shit was scrubbed from the internet and then if I tell people I saw that video they said nah you're crazy.
00:31:50.000 It was just like...
00:31:51.000 So he really had it taken down?
00:31:53.000 Yeah, man.
00:31:54.000 Dude, that's like some L. Ron Hubbard type shit.
00:31:56.000 L. Ron Hubbard was quoted as saying that if you really want to make money, you should start a religion.
00:32:01.000 Then he started Scientology.
00:32:03.000 It wasn't bullshit.
00:32:04.000 Just tell the truth.
00:32:05.000 They got so much real estate right now.
00:32:07.000 You should have saw it coming.
00:32:07.000 You should have saw it coming.
00:32:09.000 Yeah, he's a fascinating character, man.
00:32:12.000 I mean, obviously there's a tremendous amount of issues with him not telling the truth.
00:32:16.000 That might be the biggest problem.
00:32:18.000 The number one biggest problem might be the lying, that we can't trust him.
00:32:22.000 That is so crazy that you have a president that just lies all the time.
00:32:27.000 But if you step away from the lying part, and you look at what he's doing, what's interesting is, I don't know too much about the Affordable Care Act or Obamacare, but I do know that a whole lot of people who voted against it are now voting against repealing it.
00:32:44.000 So it either means one of two things.
00:32:46.000 It either means Trump's plan is so bad that the people who hated Obamacare are like, this is even worse.
00:32:53.000 Or it's a bunch of people that just don't like Trump.
00:32:56.000 And even though they didn't want Obamacare in the first place, no matter what Trump comes up with, they're going to be like, fuck you.
00:33:03.000 We're going to fight against that, which maybe there's a few other.
00:33:06.000 It could be this or it could be that.
00:33:07.000 But those two, to me, are pretty fascinating.
00:33:10.000 That's like childish shit.
00:33:12.000 Yeah, the whole shit is childish.
00:33:14.000 I just feel like everybody's just going after everybody.
00:33:16.000 When you spend your time going after people to remove them from their position, what are you doing for the people when you're going after your own selfish gain?
00:33:26.000 You're spending your entire time in office trying to get one step up.
00:33:32.000 Well, he's got a lot of steps up.
00:33:33.000 Not just him, but everybody else under him, plus him.
00:33:37.000 Now he's trying to stay up.
00:33:38.000 He has to spend his day fighting shit.
00:33:41.000 Right, right.
00:33:42.000 Instead of solving shit.
00:33:44.000 Yeah, well, he fights people on Twitter.
00:33:46.000 And he fights people on Twitter.
00:33:47.000 He's the president of the world, right?
00:33:50.000 When you're president of the United States, you're kind of the president of the world.
00:33:53.000 Like, you might not be running these other countries, but everybody knows this is the country that has all the fucking bombs, and it's crazy enough to use them, right?
00:34:00.000 So this is the president of arguably the greatest army the world's ever known.
00:34:04.000 That's the commander-in-chief right there.
00:34:07.000 He talks shit about people on Twitter.
00:34:10.000 He talks shit about people having plastic surgery scars.
00:34:12.000 It's hilarious.
00:34:13.000 Like bleeding badly from a facelift.
00:34:15.000 I said no.
00:34:16.000 He's so New York.
00:34:16.000 He's so crazy.
00:34:17.000 He's so New York.
00:34:18.000 He's so crazy.
00:34:20.000 It's hilarious.
00:34:20.000 It's so crazy.
00:34:21.000 And people are so angry.
00:34:23.000 And I get it.
00:34:23.000 I get it.
00:34:24.000 I get everybody being angry.
00:34:25.000 I get it.
00:34:26.000 It's not what I'm saying.
00:34:28.000 I'm just saying, the whole thing is so surreal.
00:34:31.000 It's like everybody wanted change, and then when change came, you're like, no, no, no, this change is making money.
00:34:36.000 Like, no, no, no, we don't want that.
00:34:38.000 This guy's stealing money.
00:34:39.000 Like, he's going to make billions of dollars.
00:34:41.000 Like, what the fuck is he doing?
00:34:42.000 Where's his tax returns?
00:34:43.000 Show me the tax returns!
00:34:45.000 But I think what's going to come out of it is that there's so many people now that are politically motivated.
00:34:53.000 There's so many people that are looking at this whole thing going, whoa, you can't just sit back and just let this happen.
00:34:59.000 Then you get someone who doesn't tell the truth.
00:35:02.000 As the president.
00:35:03.000 You know how bad that fucks up kids?
00:35:07.000 Right.
00:35:07.000 When you're looking at the highest level of human being in the country, like if every kid says, Billy, what do you want to be when you grow up?
00:35:13.000 I want to be the president.
00:35:15.000 Yeah, that's the issue.
00:35:16.000 Yeah.
00:35:17.000 Like, damn, you want to be the president?
00:35:18.000 You don't even want to be the vice president?
00:35:20.000 You want to be the number one guy?
00:35:22.000 That's an ambitious kid right there.
00:35:23.000 It's so possible.
00:35:24.000 Yeah, but it's also like if the guy who's the guy at the top of the list isn't better than people that you know, like he's more petty.
00:35:34.000 He's petty.
00:35:35.000 He goofs on people that just don't like his policies.
00:35:39.000 He'll talk shit about like their plastic surgery.
00:35:44.000 A guy with fake hair is talking about people bleeding from plastic surgery.
00:35:50.000 But it's just like the whole hurt your feelings thing.
00:35:53.000 The lash out and hurt your feelings thing.
00:35:55.000 That's what he's trying to do.
00:35:56.000 He's trying to hurt their feelings.
00:35:57.000 Someone just needs to sit him down.
00:36:00.000 I think they tried.
00:36:02.000 He ain't listening.
00:36:03.000 He's doing this his way.
00:36:04.000 I know he is.
00:36:05.000 Because he won.
00:36:06.000 He won that way.
00:36:07.000 So he's like, that's how I won.
00:36:09.000 My bass likes that.
00:36:10.000 Gotta let that go once you get in.
00:36:13.000 You gotta let that go because you have a broader responsibility as the head guy.
00:36:19.000 I think he's getting feedback enough that he has the amazing ability to ignore things that I wouldn't ignore and that I think most people wouldn't ignore.
00:36:31.000 Like, blowback.
00:36:34.000 Like, Like, I remember, so this is what happened.
00:36:38.000 One time, I went to see a movie, a screening, where Kevin Hart was in it with Usher.
00:36:44.000 This was a long time ago.
00:36:45.000 And me and Kev were friends.
00:36:47.000 We used to hang out.
00:36:48.000 So we went to the screening.
00:36:49.000 And we sat there.
00:36:51.000 And we watched the movie.
00:36:54.000 And the movie was terrible.
00:36:56.000 So then after the movie...
00:36:58.000 I'm going to see Kev.
00:37:00.000 So my worry is like, what the fuck am I going to tell this guy?
00:37:03.000 Because I can't lie to him about this movie.
00:37:05.000 And before I said anything, he looked at me and said, man, that movie was bad, but I was great.
00:37:13.000 And you know what?
00:37:14.000 He was right.
00:37:15.000 He was good in the movie.
00:37:16.000 So he brushed off...
00:37:20.000 How bad the movie was.
00:37:22.000 And found something.
00:37:23.000 This motherfucker, Trump, can find something.
00:37:26.000 He'll hear what he needs to hear from whatever he's done.
00:37:30.000 It's probably enough.
00:37:33.000 People, if it's even one or a few million, that likes his tweets.
00:37:37.000 Like, we only see the people that hate his tweets.
00:37:41.000 Right.
00:37:41.000 Oh, there's a lot of people that like his tweets.
00:37:42.000 They all have American flags in their avatars.
00:37:44.000 Yeah, so he's gonna go for that.
00:37:45.000 They have, like, eagles and Dobermans and American flags and guns.
00:37:50.000 What is the recent...
00:37:53.000 He gave some recent speech I thought was really interesting.
00:37:55.000 Oh, the cop thing.
00:37:56.000 No, no, no.
00:37:56.000 That was a good one, too.
00:37:58.000 But I think it was today where he was talking about unemployment being down, how the economy is up, and all these different factors.
00:38:08.000 And they were talking about how no one mentions it.
00:38:10.000 And then I went to CNN, and I was like, yeah, they're not even mentioning that.
00:38:14.000 He's giving this speech, and he's saying all the...
00:38:16.000 How much should that be the number one story?
00:38:19.000 What's the number one story when you go to CNN? Go to the front page of CNN. What do we got here?
00:38:24.000 What does it say?
00:38:25.000 Highest stock market ever.
00:38:27.000 Best economic numbers in years.
00:38:28.000 Unemployment lowest in 17 years.
00:38:30.000 Wages rising.
00:38:32.000 Border secure.
00:38:33.000 Yeah, but...
00:38:35.000 Is that true?
00:38:36.000 I don't know if that's true.
00:38:37.000 I don't know if it's true.
00:38:38.000 It's probably true, right?
00:38:40.000 But these were the same things that were happening when Obama was president.
00:38:45.000 And he used to shit on it.
00:38:47.000 He used to say, it's not rising enough.
00:38:50.000 The unemployment level should still be lower.
00:38:54.000 Or, like, when they put out the job gains, or whatever they call that shit, technically, he would say, that's not enough growth.
00:39:01.000 So there's a way to shit on everything.
00:39:03.000 But look at all this.
00:39:04.000 Like, look at what they show on CNN. Like, right away, you see, on the top, Trump weighed in on Sun's misleading claim, breaking news.
00:39:13.000 So you got a negative Trump ad.
00:39:16.000 No inaccuracy in Donald Trump's junior statements about 2016 meeting with Russians, White House says.
00:39:22.000 White House comments on Donald Trump junior statements.
00:39:25.000 So none of that has anything to do with unemployment being down or the economy being up.
00:39:31.000 And this is like the front page.
00:39:33.000 Of CNN. It's all negative.
00:39:35.000 Yeah, they're going after him, for sure.
00:39:37.000 But this is not good.
00:39:39.000 It's not good to do that.
00:39:41.000 Like, you're not giving all the news.
00:39:43.000 Right.
00:39:43.000 You gotta give the news.
00:39:44.000 Like, he does plenty of stupid shit that you can cover.
00:39:48.000 Right.
00:39:48.000 You're not as short of stupid shit, but when good shit happens, like when the economy is up, when unemployment is down, you probably should be reporting that.
00:39:57.000 It seems like that's news.
00:39:59.000 But, alright, so...
00:40:00.000 If it's true.
00:40:01.000 So if it's true, right, you know you have a powerful Twitter.
00:40:06.000 Your name is Trump.
00:40:07.000 Right.
00:40:09.000 And you know, listen, you know the game by now, right?
00:40:13.000 So you know if you tweet about some woman's plastic surgery, They're gonna go in on you.
00:40:21.000 Yeah.
00:40:21.000 And that's what's gonna be on CNN. But that's not CNN. She was MSNBC. Right.
00:40:26.000 But it's gonna be on every news.
00:40:30.000 All the media outlets that are not in favor of you are gonna put that.
00:40:35.000 Right.
00:40:35.000 Everyone except Fox.
00:40:36.000 Everyone except Fox.
00:40:37.000 So it's like, stop putting shit that people can use to cover up And use instead of the unemployment stuff being down.
00:40:48.000 You know what I mean?
00:40:49.000 What do you mean?
00:40:50.000 Stop giving people ammo against you.
00:40:52.000 Right.
00:40:53.000 You know what I mean?
00:40:54.000 Stop giving them information, negative stuff that they can put on the front of their website instead of unemployment numbers going down.
00:41:03.000 Yeah, but there's no way they're going to stop that.
00:41:06.000 As long as there's stories like that, like Donald Jr. secretly meeting with the Russians and not telling people and then releasing the emails and then saying, you know, all that stuff.
00:41:14.000 And then it turns out that Trump was the one who coordinated the statement about it.
00:41:20.000 It's never gonna stop.
00:41:22.000 He's fucking up.
00:41:25.000 But here's the thing.
00:41:26.000 You gotta write the good stuff too.
00:41:28.000 You have to have right news.
00:41:30.000 I feel like if I'm gonna trust you for the news, I would like to think as a person who leans very left, I would like to think that CNN is going to be better than right-wing propaganda websites.
00:41:41.000 Well, how can they not be?
00:41:42.000 That's very disappointing.
00:41:44.000 It's very disappointing.
00:41:45.000 You can have both things.
00:41:46.000 I don't trust none of them.
00:41:47.000 I don't trust the left news or the right.
00:41:50.000 Because you know why?
00:41:51.000 Why?
00:41:53.000 When Obama was president, or just in presidents before, like, a lot of shit was phony and false.
00:42:00.000 Right.
00:42:00.000 You know what I mean?
00:42:01.000 Right.
00:42:02.000 Like, they just did a...
00:42:03.000 Here's a funny thing.
00:42:04.000 So they just did a study of, like, body cams on cops.
00:42:08.000 Right?
00:42:09.000 They just did a study.
00:42:11.000 And they said, from the study, they see that cops treat...
00:42:17.000 Black people that they pull over worse than they treat white people.
00:42:23.000 It's like, motherfucker, we've been trying to tell you that.
00:42:26.000 But now it's only official when white people did the study.
00:42:32.000 They're like, you know what?
00:42:35.000 This thing is true.
00:42:37.000 Motherfucker, we've been trying to tell you that shit is true for a long time.
00:42:41.000 But that's just a part of it.
00:42:43.000 You're not covering...
00:42:45.000 Anything that doesn't serve you.
00:42:47.000 You know what I mean?
00:42:49.000 You're not covering anything that doesn't serve you anyway.
00:42:52.000 Yeah, but they're news.
00:42:52.000 They're not cops.
00:42:53.000 I can understand, like, cops being racist.
00:42:56.000 I get that.
00:42:57.000 But if you're the news source, like, you have to just distribute the news.
00:43:02.000 You can't selectively decide what people can and can't hear or what you focus on.
00:43:08.000 You have to and you should, but they never have.
00:43:10.000 Well, they should.
00:43:11.000 They should, but they just never have.
00:43:14.000 It's just more obvious now.
00:43:16.000 What's really fucked up, that isn't really getting nearly as much press as I think it should get, or people haven't really been talking about that much, is how many people were concentrating on that white lady from Australia who got shot unnecessarily by the cop because she was a white lady from Australia.
00:43:33.000 Right.
00:43:33.000 Look, no matter what you say, what that is, I mean, obviously it's a tragic accident because she was the one that called the cops and then they shot her, but you know how many times they've done that to other people?
00:43:42.000 But that's my whole point.
00:43:44.000 Like, the news serves...
00:43:46.000 Remember we were talking about the scrolls and how you can't...
00:43:50.000 If you found the scrolls, you can't help but make a story that is in your favor.
00:43:58.000 I forgot the exact words you used, but it's just because your perception is going to come through in this thing.
00:44:06.000 To me, that's how the news has been all my life.
00:44:09.000 Whoever owns the news makes news In their favor.
00:44:15.000 That's always how it's been, since William Randolph Hearst used to have Hearst Publications.
00:44:19.000 Yeah.
00:44:19.000 So that, to me, the news has always been, even if it was slightly inaccurate before, it's just been growingly not accurate.
00:44:28.000 Yeah, but that drives people fucking crazy.
00:44:30.000 It does, because people...
00:44:31.000 And it should.
00:44:32.000 Because when I was a kid, like a stupid little kid, And I was watching the news.
00:44:36.000 How stupid were you?
00:44:37.000 Just stupid enough to think, like, when somebody's telling me what's going on in the world, I'm like, the news is God.
00:44:44.000 So you thought that it was all real?
00:44:46.000 Yeah, just like a kid.
00:44:49.000 You don't know any better.
00:44:50.000 But how do these people know everything?
00:44:52.000 They're telling you everything.
00:44:53.000 So you're kind of getting programmed to believe this shit.
00:44:57.000 So people are getting programmed to believe Fox, Fox, MSNBC, CNN, and they don't know any better.
00:45:04.000 And they're getting angry based on what they're being told.
00:45:08.000 And we're not being told everything.
00:45:10.000 We're not being told everything like you're saying.
00:45:11.000 They're not showing both sides or everything.
00:45:15.000 There's no reason for the people who own the news to be fair.
00:45:20.000 That's true.
00:45:21.000 They just have to get people to pay attention.
00:45:22.000 They just want to get people to get...
00:45:23.000 So their thing is, how do I make money?
00:45:26.000 Right.
00:45:27.000 Gotta be outrageous.
00:45:28.000 It gotta be outrageous.
00:45:29.000 We gotta...
00:45:30.000 Even now, we gotta follow this Russia story, and we gotta make money.
00:45:34.000 This is a soul proper.
00:45:35.000 This is Game of Thrones going on on fucking TV. This is like when Katrina...
00:45:41.000 They milked the shit out of Katrina and any tragedy, and they're just milking this.
00:45:45.000 It's like every...
00:45:46.000 Like, why is...
00:45:48.000 Everything coming out like, alright, so there was a meeting.
00:45:51.000 So then there was email.
00:45:54.000 It's almost as if somebody wrote a script and we're like, today we're going to give you this part of it.
00:45:58.000 Today we're going to give you this part of it.
00:46:00.000 It's unfolding like a TV show, keeping people's interest.
00:46:04.000 In a lot of ways, it is like that House of Cards show.
00:46:07.000 Yeah, it's like House of Cards.
00:46:09.000 Yeah, and almost even less believable.
00:46:12.000 Like, everybody was like, in the House of Cards, spoiler alert, I can't even say.
00:46:17.000 I don't want to say what happens.
00:46:19.000 But there's some moments on the show where people go, well, that would never happen.
00:46:23.000 That's not who would get elected.
00:46:25.000 Like, look at what the fuck is happening.
00:46:27.000 The president's daughter is always behind him with a giant smile on her face every time he says anything and she's clapping today.
00:46:33.000 It's like, he's got his kids in there.
00:46:35.000 His kids are running shit.
00:46:37.000 And his kids are supposed to be running his company.
00:46:38.000 He's supposed to be away from his company.
00:46:41.000 But that's not...
00:46:42.000 He won't even show his tax returns.
00:46:44.000 The whole thing is so gangster.
00:46:45.000 It's so Putin-esque.
00:46:47.000 It's really fascinating.
00:46:48.000 And now, with this thing that's going on with Russia...
00:46:51.000 I mean, who knows?
00:46:52.000 That might be just nonsense.
00:46:53.000 They might just be posturing with each other.
00:46:55.000 Meanwhile, they're doing deals behind the scenes.
00:46:57.000 Like, I'll tell you what I'm going to do, bro.
00:46:59.000 I'm going to kick the delegates out.
00:47:01.000 I'm going to get pissed.
00:47:01.000 I'm going to get pissed.
00:47:03.000 And meanwhile, they're making some crazy deal to like tap into the oil in the Antarctica or some shit.
00:47:08.000 Right.
00:47:08.000 Like they're kicking the delegates out.
00:47:09.000 Maybe.
00:47:10.000 Maybe.
00:47:10.000 Maybe.
00:47:11.000 Diplomats.
00:47:11.000 To look like, hey, I'm not on.
00:47:14.000 If I was a friend of Trump, I wouldn't kick these delegates out.
00:47:17.000 Exactly.
00:47:18.000 Maybe.
00:47:18.000 Right.
00:47:18.000 Why would I kick the diplomats out?
00:47:20.000 Yeah.
00:47:21.000 If I'm working with them.
00:47:22.000 Come on, man.
00:47:24.000 Yeah, they're just going back and forth.
00:47:27.000 It's all so strange.
00:47:29.000 It's just so strange that people could still rock it like that.
00:47:32.000 Like you still could be a dictator in 2017. Hilarious.
00:47:35.000 That is one of the last remaining archaic jobs.
00:47:40.000 Like the one dude running everything.
00:47:42.000 Guy with a giant army.
00:47:44.000 Everybody keep it together.
00:47:45.000 Keep it together, you're gonna have a safe life.
00:47:47.000 Keep it together.
00:47:47.000 Don't fucking push me.
00:47:49.000 Just give me a little money.
00:47:50.000 Right.
00:47:50.000 Does it hurt you to give me a little money?
00:47:52.000 You can't give me 30% of your money?
00:47:53.000 Come on, man.
00:47:54.000 Give me 50% of your money.
00:47:55.000 It's not that big a deal.
00:47:56.000 I mean, that's what a lot of countries are stuck in right now, you know?
00:48:01.000 And in Russia, the crazy thing is, if it doesn't go well for you, they just take your company.
00:48:06.000 They have these multi-billionaire oligarchs.
00:48:09.000 They just lock these dudes up.
00:48:11.000 Lock them up, take their company.
00:48:13.000 It's crazy.
00:48:14.000 Confiscate it.
00:48:14.000 Just throw them in a jail cell.
00:48:16.000 Keep them there for a few years.
00:48:17.000 It's Game of Thrones.
00:48:17.000 Then they'll let them out.
00:48:18.000 Dude.
00:48:19.000 I was watching this one documentary about this Russian guy who was, and he was, at first he was working with Trump, and somehow or another he disagreed with Trump.
00:48:30.000 Not Trump, rather.
00:48:31.000 Putin.
00:48:31.000 Dude, that's like, that's some Freud shit.
00:48:35.000 He was working with, I'm trying to remember the full story, but he had some sort of business arrangement with Putin, and then he tried to change it, or he didn't want to accept new terms or whatever.
00:48:47.000 They just locked his ass up.
00:48:50.000 He opposed something that Putin wanted to do.
00:48:52.000 I think I read about that guy.
00:48:53.000 Yeah, sorry, dude.
00:48:54.000 He complained.
00:48:55.000 He protested.
00:48:56.000 Sorry, dude.
00:48:57.000 They put some charges on him.
00:48:58.000 Yeah, they put some charges on him, threw him in jail.
00:49:00.000 And who knows, man?
00:49:02.000 They might...
00:49:02.000 Look, if you get to be some crazy multi-billionaire dude in Russia, they probably don't even let you in there unless you've done some fucked up shit with them.
00:49:11.000 They're probably like, listen, dude, you gotta drink vodka.
00:49:15.000 Have Putin with us.
00:49:16.000 Come on.
00:49:16.000 I mean, even on the lowest level...
00:49:19.000 You have to get jumped into a gang and you gotta commit a crime to be a part of the gang.
00:49:25.000 So they gotta see you do some dirt to see you get it.
00:49:28.000 If a gang would do that, why wouldn't a bunch of billionaires who have way more to protect Yeah.
00:49:35.000 Make you do some dirt with them.
00:49:37.000 Do some dirt and also show that you're crazy enough to be down with them.
00:49:41.000 Yeah.
00:49:42.000 Like, yeah, I like you, but I need to know if you're loyal.
00:49:46.000 You know what Ari told me they made his dad do in the Israeli army?
00:49:48.000 What?
00:49:49.000 You raise a kitten, you raise it, you take care of it by yourself, you pet it, and then when it gets to be like a year old, you gotta kill it in front of them with your bare hands.
00:49:57.000 Shit.
00:49:58.000 Grab it, snap its neck.
00:50:01.000 Just to show that you can do that.
00:50:03.000 I was like, whoa.
00:50:04.000 A part of the game is that.
00:50:05.000 I was like, whoa.
00:50:07.000 Just to show that you can shut it off.
00:50:09.000 Like, you've got that ability to just shut it off.
00:50:11.000 Like, you have this cat, you love it.
00:50:14.000 You're gonna kill that thing.
00:50:15.000 With your hands.
00:50:17.000 Well, if you could do that, if they make you do that in the army, why?
00:50:22.000 You have to get co-signed to get into Billionaire Club.
00:50:25.000 Yeah, you gotta kill people.
00:50:28.000 Like, you think, what do they do with, like, guys like Jeff Bezos, that Amazon guy?
00:50:32.000 You ever see the photos of him?
00:50:34.000 It's hilarious.
00:50:35.000 There's a photo of him, like, when he first started out, like, 12 years ago.
00:50:38.000 I heard about this, but I haven't seen it.
00:50:39.000 All dorky.
00:50:39.000 And then you look at him now, he looks like a fucking assassin.
00:50:42.000 He's got...
00:50:43.000 He's got sunglasses on, he's walking aggressive, he's on TRT. TRT, hilarious.
00:50:50.000 He's got like a girl on each side of him or something like that.
00:50:53.000 I'm sure.
00:50:54.000 I mean, how much is he worth now?
00:50:56.000 Look at him.
00:50:57.000 He looks like a killer.
00:50:58.000 Oh, shit.
00:50:59.000 He literally looks like a guy.
00:51:01.000 That's the hitman I just hired.
00:51:03.000 That was like a former Navy SEAL that's coming over to give you advice on how to secure your corporation.
00:51:09.000 You know, like he would show up at Apple and hire a bunch of hitmen.
00:51:13.000 That's him now?
00:51:15.000 Is that what that is?
00:51:16.000 He's a pretty fit guy.
00:51:17.000 Yeah, now he is.
00:51:18.000 But he seems like a fit guy, like he works out.
00:51:24.000 See, well there was an- but there was a before and after picture.
00:51:27.000 Oh man, Goofy Town.
00:51:29.000 Okay.
00:51:30.000 Yeah, he was a little goofy.
00:51:31.000 But, look man, he figured out how to dominate online sales.
00:51:36.000 I use Amazon.com all the time.
00:51:38.000 There's like him and The Rock and Vin Diesel.
00:51:40.000 All three of them.
00:51:41.000 Kick some ass.
00:51:43.000 The Rock was at the fights this weekend.
00:51:45.000 You give him a hug, it's like hugging a tree.
00:51:47.000 Damn.
00:51:48.000 Big tree.
00:51:49.000 I wonder how much that dude weighs.
00:51:50.000 Too big rock.
00:51:51.000 Too big, bro.
00:51:52.000 He's in the 250 range for sure.
00:51:54.000 Yeah.
00:51:55.000 Yeah, for sure.
00:51:56.000 He's gigantic.
00:51:57.000 Like, you don't realize how big he is until you give him a hug.
00:52:00.000 Big old friendly guy.
00:52:01.000 But that guy gets bombarded, man.
00:52:03.000 He can't go anywhere without taking pictures of people.
00:52:06.000 They don't give a fuck if you're talking to them.
00:52:09.000 They get in between you.
00:52:10.000 They pop their head up and hold their camera up.
00:52:15.000 It's ridiculous.
00:52:16.000 Like, people just, they don't give a fuck about decorum or being friendly.
00:52:21.000 No, no, no.
00:52:21.000 I'm getting this fucking picture with The Rock.
00:52:24.000 It's my one chance.
00:52:25.000 Yeah, they just swoop in, man.
00:52:27.000 Anything for the gram, man.
00:52:29.000 But it's weird.
00:52:30.000 It's like all your normal etiquette goes out the window.
00:52:35.000 Like The Rock was sitting over there talking to Demetrius Mighty Mouse Johnson, pound for pound best fighter in the world.
00:52:40.000 And they're talking back and forth and having a good time.
00:52:42.000 And this dude just swoops in between them and pops up.
00:52:46.000 And he's like, can I get a picture, bro?
00:52:47.000 Can I get a picture, bro?
00:52:48.000 And you see The Rock is always being friendly.
00:52:51.000 He's amazing at staying friendly.
00:52:53.000 But he's like, God damn.
00:52:55.000 I can't even talk to the champ.
00:52:58.000 Yeah, man.
00:52:59.000 I mean, he wants the followers.
00:53:02.000 He wants to...
00:53:03.000 Yeah.
00:53:03.000 I guess he's a nice guy.
00:53:04.000 He's a real nice guy.
00:53:05.000 I like him.
00:53:05.000 He's a real nice guy.
00:53:07.000 Giant.
00:53:09.000 You're done, bro.
00:53:11.000 Finished.
00:53:11.000 No, he needs to get bigger.
00:53:13.000 Nah, man.
00:53:13.000 You think he's done?
00:53:15.000 Yeah.
00:53:15.000 You think he's stopped lifting?
00:53:16.000 Yeah.
00:53:17.000 It's a project, right?
00:53:18.000 If it's a sculpture, it's done.
00:53:19.000 I mean, where is he trying to go after this?
00:53:21.000 Like, what's left?
00:53:22.000 Well, he's trying to stay jacked, and he's like 48 or some shit.
00:53:26.000 How old is The Rock?
00:53:28.000 I would say he's about 48. He can take a week off.
00:53:30.000 No, no, no.
00:53:31.000 You can't.
00:53:31.000 That's the thing.
00:53:34.000 45. So he's 45 and he's jacked.
00:53:38.000 Just ready?
00:53:41.000 Jacked.
00:53:42.000 I mean, he's jacked.
00:53:44.000 He wants to keep that.
00:53:45.000 And there's only one way.
00:53:47.000 You gotta do what he does.
00:53:48.000 That motherfucker's up every day.
00:53:49.000 He'll make these videos when he shows up in places, in like Germany.
00:53:54.000 He's gotta film some fucking movie.
00:53:55.000 He's there at 5 o'clock in the morning.
00:53:57.000 They already have an elliptical machine in his...
00:53:59.000 In his bed?
00:54:01.000 Well, in his hotel room.
00:54:03.000 He'll get like a suite.
00:54:04.000 So they set up this elliptical machine in his suite, and he's out there banging it out at 5 o'clock in the morning.
00:54:10.000 Doing an hour of cardio.
00:54:12.000 I know him and Kevin Hart videos bug me.
00:54:16.000 They make you feel lazy.
00:54:17.000 They're just up, working out.
00:54:19.000 I know.
00:54:20.000 They've done more by 7 a.m.
00:54:24.000 than I'm going to do all day.
00:54:25.000 Yeah, it's rude.
00:54:26.000 And they're trying to motivate people.
00:54:27.000 Like, hey man, trying to sleep over here, bro.
00:54:30.000 Scroll up a little bit there.
00:54:32.000 The one on the far right-hand side with him pulling that rowing machine, right above that one.
00:54:38.000 That's doing some rows.
00:54:40.000 That dude's...
00:54:42.000 Gigantic.
00:54:43.000 That's a gigantic person.
00:54:45.000 Poor Roaring Machine.
00:54:48.000 Does not deserve this.
00:54:50.000 Yeah, but if you want to put these things up and get how many millions of views, how many million views does it have?
00:54:55.000 5,639,898 views.
00:54:59.000 Of him showing off.
00:55:01.000 Of him just doing polls.
00:55:04.000 We get it.
00:55:04.000 You wake up in the morning.
00:55:08.000 But he's motivating people.
00:55:10.000 Sometimes, like, you'll be sitting at home and feeling like a lazy bitch, like, I just want to chill today.
00:55:15.000 I don't feel like working out.
00:55:16.000 And you go see The Rock, he's got chains wrapped around his neck, doing chin-ups and dips.
00:55:21.000 Pulling tires.
00:55:22.000 Screaming.
00:55:22.000 Yeah, hitting tires with missiles.
00:55:25.000 Yeah, it's weird.
00:55:26.000 He's a crazy man.
00:55:27.000 But those are the dudes that, like, you need to know that, like, as hard as you think you're working, drop one down from there.
00:55:34.000 That one with his...
00:55:35.000 The other one.
00:55:36.000 I saw that one with Jay.
00:55:37.000 Yeah, look at that.
00:55:38.000 Right there.
00:55:39.000 You need to know, as hard as you think you're working, you're not working that hard.
00:55:44.000 I know.
00:55:45.000 Look at that.
00:55:46.000 It's jacked!
00:55:49.000 So, if you think you've done everything you can to be prosperous in this life, you need to go to The Rock's Instagram and shut your fucking hippie mouth.
00:55:58.000 And it'll fuck your day up.
00:56:00.000 It'll fuck your day up.
00:56:01.000 This is what you didn't do today.
00:56:04.000 And I know people are like, well, hey, man, I read a book today, okay?
00:56:07.000 Hey, man, I've been writing poetry all day.
00:56:09.000 Hey, man, I've been writing songs.
00:56:10.000 Hey, man.
00:56:10.000 Okay.
00:56:11.000 Okay.
00:56:12.000 But have you put the same amount of effort into being whatever you want as The Rock has done in being the ultimate meathead?
00:56:21.000 It's hilarious.
00:56:22.000 Ultimate meathead.
00:56:23.000 Look at this.
00:56:25.000 Look at that.
00:56:27.000 Look at the bar.
00:56:28.000 It's got a chain.
00:56:29.000 Chains on the side.
00:56:31.000 Dumbbells.
00:56:31.000 Do you know why you have chains?
00:56:32.000 It makes the end of the rep harder.
00:56:34.000 Jesus.
00:56:35.000 Because as you lift the chains up off the ground, less of the chain is being supported by the ground, so it gets heavier and heavier as you lift your hands up higher.
00:56:42.000 That's called hardcore, bro.
00:56:44.000 I don't know if you boys are aware of how hardcore can get.
00:56:48.000 That's how hardcore.
00:56:49.000 That's how hardcore!
00:56:52.000 Listen, when I want to feel bad about my day, I just go to The Rock's Instagram.
00:56:56.000 It's a good move.
00:56:57.000 I'd be like, shit.
00:56:58.000 What's going on with this guy?
00:57:00.000 For that new movie Rampage he has, this guy's gonna be a gorilla or something.
00:57:03.000 Oh, wow.
00:57:04.000 Oh, so he's got like one of those suits on that maps his movement.
00:57:07.000 Video game suits.
00:57:08.000 Isn't that weird that they still can't completely just fake it?
00:57:12.000 They have to have a dude move around.
00:57:14.000 They're getting close.
00:57:15.000 I mean, that HoloLens stuff that we were talking about yesterday, they're just gonna be able to wear those and see pretty much what they're gonna, like the final CGI rendering, like they can just act with that stuff soon.
00:57:26.000 It's amazing what, you know, like, I watched Game of Thrones first episode, and you know that that boat's not real.
00:57:32.000 They don't really have that giant, massive, crazy-looking boat cutting through the ocean.
00:57:37.000 That's not a real boat.
00:57:39.000 But goddamn, it looks like a real boat.
00:57:41.000 Yeah, that shit was crazy.
00:57:42.000 That attack was fucking bananas.
00:57:45.000 When you're looking at these boats, I mean, just the CGI, it's just for a television show.
00:57:54.000 Yeah, they spend millions.
00:57:55.000 A lot of fucking money.
00:57:56.000 I guess it's like worth it.
00:57:58.000 They spend film money on those episodes.
00:57:59.000 Oh yeah, each one is millions.
00:58:01.000 Yeah.
00:58:03.000 But I guess it's worth it, right?
00:58:04.000 Because that thing will sell forever.
00:58:05.000 Yeah, I like it.
00:58:06.000 If it goes down today, it's also timeless.
00:58:09.000 Game of Thrones is timeless.
00:58:11.000 That'll be worth a shitload of money 10 years from now.
00:58:14.000 It's like The Sopranos is timeless, too.
00:58:17.000 Sopranos is timeless.
00:58:19.000 If you wanted to start watching The Sopranos today, it would be a great show.
00:58:24.000 Yeah, it's like the godfather of TV. It's timeless.
00:58:27.000 But it's better than The Godfather.
00:58:29.000 There's Italians all over the country screaming at me.
00:58:33.000 You fucking idiot!
00:58:34.000 You don't know shit!
00:58:35.000 The Godfather's the greatest fucking movie!
00:58:37.000 The Godfather's an amazing movie, don't get me wrong, but it's limited by its format.
00:58:42.000 It's limited by the fact that it's a movie.
00:58:45.000 Even though you got The Godfather 1 and 2, Sopranos was on for like, what, five years?
00:58:50.000 Five years of episodes, the depth that they can get into, all the crazy shit that they could do, it's just so different than any other movie or than any other form of media.
00:59:01.000 Yeah, they could go off and talk about a gay member of the goddamn gang.
00:59:06.000 Yeah.
00:59:07.000 They could do anything.
00:59:07.000 They could do anything.
00:59:08.000 His affair with his psychiatrist.
00:59:10.000 Yeah.
00:59:10.000 Anything.
00:59:12.000 Yeah.
00:59:12.000 Remember they killed that dude with a pool cue, showed a pool cue up his ass?
00:59:15.000 Crazy.
00:59:16.000 The gay guy?
00:59:17.000 Yeah, the whole thing was weird, you know?
00:59:20.000 It was like you're getting deep into the lives of these strange characters and sociopaths, and you kind of understand their angst.
00:59:28.000 Yeah, because you start rooting for them.
00:59:29.000 Yeah!
00:59:30.000 Like, even in the Americans, they're Russian, but you start rooting for them.
00:59:33.000 You don't want them to get caught.
00:59:36.000 Wow.
00:59:37.000 Now I know you really are from another country.
00:59:39.000 Maybe, maybe.
00:59:41.000 But if you watch it, watch a few episodes and see if you don't like Star Room for the Russians.
00:59:44.000 This is how I picture the show.
00:59:46.000 Because it's safe now.
00:59:49.000 You find out five minutes into the show that they're Russian spies, FBI kicks the door down, a bunch of white guys, guns blazing, pointed at them, they immediately ship them to Guantanamo Bay.
01:00:00.000 And then put the house for sale.
01:00:02.000 Yeah.
01:00:02.000 The house goes for sale and they make a profit off the house.
01:00:05.000 The spy house.
01:00:07.000 The spy house.
01:00:08.000 I wonder if they did a scan of the spy house.
01:00:11.000 Find out if they scan the spy house to find out what kind of spy shit they got.
01:00:15.000 Because, you know, Russia's not going to just let you have a spy house by yourself and you're having parties.
01:00:19.000 And we've called the other day to check in.
01:00:22.000 We saw barbecue.
01:00:23.000 You having barbecue or are you working as spy?
01:00:26.000 Which one?
01:00:27.000 Which one?
01:00:28.000 Can't be both.
01:00:28.000 You're turning American.
01:00:30.000 Is it barbecue time or spy time?
01:00:32.000 You fucked!
01:00:33.000 Get to spying.
01:00:35.000 Yeah, so they probably, like, they gotta be spying on the spies, for sure.
01:00:38.000 Yeah.
01:00:39.000 They're not gonna trust some spy to just move to New Jersey, have a good time, start doing coke.
01:00:44.000 They know you could get turned.
01:00:45.000 Oh, for sure.
01:00:46.000 Yeah.
01:00:47.000 Why wouldn't you get turned?
01:00:48.000 Over here, you could, like, do whatever the fuck you want.
01:00:51.000 Most people are not gonna kill you.
01:00:52.000 Right.
01:00:55.000 But then they know you're there.
01:00:58.000 So they'll just send somebody.
01:00:59.000 You won't even know who the person is.
01:01:01.000 It'll be like some La Femme Nikita chick comes over your house selling vacuums or something.
01:01:05.000 You open the door, she shoots you in the dick.
01:01:07.000 Right?
01:01:09.000 Could be.
01:01:11.000 I just don't understand why they would use that strategy.
01:01:15.000 Like, they hire someone to pretend to be American, fly them across the world, set them up, Go get information in Montclair.
01:01:24.000 You gotta watch the Americans, man.
01:01:26.000 It works.
01:01:27.000 Yeah?
01:01:27.000 What kind of information do they get?
01:01:31.000 Spoiler alert.
01:01:34.000 So, say there's the FBI, right?
01:01:38.000 So, the husband puts on a disguise and starts dating the secretary of the director of the FBI. Whoa.
01:01:50.000 So the husband...
01:01:51.000 Mm-hmm.
01:01:52.000 Is he a real husband?
01:01:53.000 They're married, right?
01:01:55.000 They were paired together.
01:01:56.000 Right.
01:01:57.000 They had two kids together in America.
01:01:59.000 For real?
01:02:00.000 Well, not in the show.
01:02:01.000 In the show.
01:02:02.000 In the show.
01:02:03.000 They had two kids together in America.
01:02:04.000 They run a travel agency.
01:02:06.000 And then...
01:02:08.000 On top of that, they're both spies.
01:02:09.000 On top of that, they're both spies.
01:02:11.000 So he gets to bang other chicks?
01:02:12.000 Like, baby, I gotta do this.
01:02:13.000 And she gets to bang other dudes.
01:02:15.000 God damn, strong.
01:02:16.000 Like, if there's a target.
01:02:18.000 I like it.
01:02:19.000 If there's a target that they can get to emotionally, then they just do what they gotta do.
01:02:24.000 And then sometimes they come home, and he's like, did you fuck him?
01:02:29.000 Whoa.
01:02:29.000 And just to say, I did duty for Russia.
01:02:33.000 Yeah.
01:02:33.000 I did duty.
01:02:35.000 And meanwhile, both of them are falling in and out of love and getting jealous.
01:02:38.000 Oh my God.
01:02:39.000 And then sometimes they like the people that they have to kill or like dispose of.
01:02:46.000 Sounds like a good fucking show.
01:02:46.000 Yeah, man.
01:02:47.000 It's so intricate.
01:02:49.000 Damn.
01:02:50.000 And then a neighbor just moved in, and he works for the FBI. So then their kids go over to his house, and his kids come over to their house.
01:03:00.000 And he doesn't know that they're Russian spies.
01:03:02.000 He's had hunches before.
01:03:04.000 Whoa.
01:03:05.000 So it's a crazy fucking show, man.
01:03:07.000 Damn.
01:03:08.000 As good, better, or not as good as House of Cards?
01:03:13.000 I say better than House of Cards.
01:03:15.000 Whoa!
01:03:18.000 Oh my goodness, I don't even know.
01:03:20.000 Now I know you're a foreigner.
01:03:23.000 You're some kind of an agent yourself.
01:03:25.000 I told you I was a foreigner.
01:03:27.000 Yeah, but now I know for real.
01:03:28.000 But I'm an American foreigner.
01:03:29.000 As he pours his tea.
01:03:30.000 Jesus Christ.
01:03:32.000 Who the fuck are you?
01:03:33.000 Everything's a crime.
01:03:34.000 I'm pouring tea.
01:03:36.000 Who are you?
01:03:37.000 You don't even drink coffee.
01:03:39.000 You're barely American, bro.
01:03:41.000 I know.
01:03:44.000 I know.
01:03:44.000 You have the full foreign package, man.
01:03:47.000 You're into soccer.
01:03:48.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:03:49.000 Do you ever call soccer football when no Americans are around?
01:03:54.000 Do you?
01:03:55.000 I say it when they're around sometimes.
01:03:57.000 Do you really?
01:03:57.000 But I just say soccer just so people know what I'm talking about.
01:04:00.000 Right.
01:04:01.000 That's what I was thinking.
01:04:02.000 You probably say football when you're around other people.
01:04:04.000 Yeah, if I'm talking to somebody from...
01:04:06.000 Sometimes I'm talking to a friend from England and I'll say soccer.
01:04:10.000 And they'll get mad at you.
01:04:11.000 Nah.
01:04:12.000 I mean, some people have, like, they'll correct it, but it won't be a sticking point in the conversation.
01:04:20.000 It's a sticking point in America, right?
01:04:22.000 So you just stick with soccer.
01:04:23.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:04:24.000 You've never said football to me, but I always suspected it.
01:04:26.000 You always suspected it.
01:04:28.000 I just knew something was going on.
01:04:34.000 He's so into that game.
01:04:35.000 I know he uses the proper terminology.
01:04:37.000 When I'm not around.
01:04:39.000 Yeah.
01:04:41.000 Yeah.
01:04:41.000 Like someone will say you want to play billiards and I'll let it slide.
01:04:44.000 Okay.
01:04:45.000 All right.
01:04:45.000 And that's pool, right?
01:04:46.000 Yeah, not really.
01:04:47.000 Not really.
01:04:48.000 Pocket billiards is pool.
01:04:50.000 Right.
01:04:50.000 Billiards is a game that you play with no, there's no holes in the table.
01:04:54.000 You ever see that game?
01:04:55.000 I think so.
01:04:56.000 There's like, there's like things in the table.
01:04:58.000 No.
01:04:59.000 Well, there's an Italian version of it where they play.
01:05:01.000 They have these little pins.
01:05:03.000 You're thinking of Bumper Pool, I think.
01:05:05.000 Maybe.
01:05:05.000 But Three Cushion Billiards is a very strange game.
01:05:08.000 And that used to be the premiere game, by the way.
01:05:11.000 Oh, yeah?
01:05:11.000 Back in the Willy Hoppy days.
01:05:13.000 Way, way, way back in the...
01:05:15.000 I guess probably the turn of the century.
01:05:18.000 The...
01:05:19.000 Turn of the 20th century.
01:05:20.000 They had thousands of pool halls and billiard halls in New York City.
01:05:26.000 But pool halls, like where there's a hole in the table and the ball has to fall into the hole, those were thought to be, that's the game of ruffians.
01:05:35.000 And, like, dirtbags.
01:05:36.000 Gentlemen played billiards.
01:05:38.000 They played three-cushioned billiards.
01:05:40.000 And that was actually a part of the scene in the movie The Hustler with Paul Newman and Jackie Gleason.
01:05:46.000 Paul Newman goes over to this dude's house.
01:05:49.000 I forget the gentleman's name, but he's a very famous actor.
01:05:52.000 He's a great Great scene.
01:05:53.000 And they're supposed to gamble because this guy's a big fish and he has this big mansion and Paul Newman is this hustler.
01:05:59.000 He goes over to the guy's mansion and the guy doesn't have a pool table.
01:06:02.000 He has a billiards table.
01:06:03.000 And the mob guy who's backing Paul Newman on the bet doesn't believe that he could beat this guy.
01:06:11.000 And so they have to figure out what to do because it's a totally different game.
01:06:16.000 But it was the game of gentlemen.
01:06:17.000 Three Cushion Billiards is a game where you have to hit a ball and then your ball has to go three cushions.
01:06:24.000 That means bounce into three rails and then come back and hit the other ball.
01:06:28.000 It's really crazy.
01:06:30.000 It's an interesting game because it's all about angles.
01:06:33.000 You ever played it?
01:06:34.000 Yeah, I've played it, but it's hard to do.
01:06:36.000 You have to really understand.
01:06:38.000 There's a lot of factors that come into play.
01:06:42.000 Here it is right here.
01:06:43.000 This is the actual game.
01:06:44.000 I've seen you do shit like that when you play pool.
01:06:46.000 Yeah.
01:06:48.000 No, I do.
01:06:48.000 I mean, I definitely move the ball around, and I understand some angles, but, like, this stuff, like, what this guy's doing right here, this is, like, super complicated stuff to be able to...
01:06:59.000 How do you win this thing?
01:07:00.000 You just get a point every time you get three cushions.
01:07:04.000 Like, see how he's doing this right here?
01:07:05.000 He's doing that, it bounces off the rail, it hits that, and then it's going to hit the other one.
01:07:08.000 Like, doing stuff like that on purpose, I mean, doing it on purpose, is very difficult to do.
01:07:16.000 To really understand how, I mean, sometimes you're going four and five and even six rails to make something do what you want it to do, because that was the only option you had with the position of the ball on the table relative to the position of the ball you're trying to hit, if you have to go three rails.
01:07:31.000 So you see these crazy, tricky shots that these guys do, where they're calculating the ball, going three rails, hitting another ball, and then going two rails, and then hitting a third ball.
01:07:40.000 It's crazy!
01:07:41.000 The way they do it is amazing.
01:07:43.000 It's really amazing.
01:07:44.000 How many balls are on the table each time?
01:07:46.000 Three balls.
01:07:46.000 Three balls?
01:07:47.000 Three balls.
01:07:48.000 Yeah, it's fascinating.
01:07:51.000 I never got into it because I would imagine that it would become addictive just like Poole's addictive, and I don't have the time.
01:07:58.000 I just can't be fucking with some new thing to get addicted to.
01:08:01.000 Yeah, especially when you're gonna start, you know, checking out some soccer.
01:08:04.000 I feel you.
01:08:05.000 Yeah.
01:08:07.000 Isn't it weird, though, how they do this?
01:08:08.000 See, he's gonna hit that, and it's gonna bounce up and hit the other one.
01:08:12.000 And they're planning this out.
01:08:13.000 That's what's interesting.
01:08:15.000 And the guys who are real good at it, a lot of times it translates very good into pool, too.
01:08:20.000 It seems like it would.
01:08:22.000 Yeah.
01:08:22.000 Well, they figure out how to move the ball better than other people.
01:08:26.000 There's a guy named Efren Reyes, and he's widely considered to be probably the best pool player of all time.
01:08:33.000 And he plays this game really good.
01:08:36.000 He plays this game really good, and he plays another game that the Filipinos like to play called Rotation.
01:08:43.000 And rotation is a game, like, you know how you play nine ball?
01:08:47.000 You shoot one through nine, you gotta shoot the balls in order?
01:08:50.000 Rotation, they do that with 15 balls.
01:08:52.000 What?
01:08:52.000 Yeah, Filipinos are some of the best players in the world.
01:08:56.000 Oh, right.
01:08:56.000 And it's interesting because the game of billiards, pocket billiards, I should say, I guess regular billiards, too, got brought to them during World War II when they had American GIs would be in the Philippines.
01:09:10.000 Apparently during the war, when people would go over there, they would set up pool tables and, you know, GIs would go to bars and they figured out how to play pool.
01:09:18.000 And it became a great thing for the Filipinos who love gambling.
01:09:22.000 They love gambling.
01:09:23.000 So they would just play pool and gamble all the time.
01:09:26.000 So some of the best players in the world have come out of the Philippines.
01:09:29.000 Manila has some of the best players ever.
01:09:33.000 The top guys, like that guy Efren Reyes, he's from the Philippines.
01:09:36.000 Francisco Bustamante, one of the best of all time, he's from the Philippines.
01:09:39.000 It's like you can keep going on and on and on and on and on.
01:09:42.000 There's a whole gang of these dudes, little tiny killers.
01:09:46.000 So never play pool against a Filipino.
01:09:48.000 That's what I'm learning.
01:09:49.000 They're real quiet and real friendly.
01:09:52.000 They'll smash you.
01:09:53.000 Damn.
01:09:54.000 Yeah, some of the best players in the world.
01:09:55.000 It's just a huge sport over there.
01:09:58.000 It's on television all the time over there.
01:10:00.000 Pool is like the first video game.
01:10:03.000 Mmm.
01:10:04.000 How's that?
01:10:05.000 Because it's a pool and billiards.
01:10:08.000 It's like a table and you go into a bar and it's there.
01:10:12.000 You put money in there and you start playing it.
01:10:14.000 Before, there were graphics or programs or anything.
01:10:18.000 It's just a game.
01:10:20.000 It's like the first game you could play before video games.
01:10:25.000 You know what I mean?
01:10:26.000 I know what you're saying.
01:10:27.000 Yeah.
01:10:28.000 It was like an arcade game, like darts.
01:10:30.000 Arcade, yeah.
01:10:31.000 And darts, yeah.
01:10:32.000 They would play it.
01:10:33.000 I think they started calling it pool.
01:10:36.000 I know, actually, they started calling it pool because it was a gambling thing.
01:10:39.000 The thing was that they would pool their money together and bet on stuff.
01:10:43.000 And that's how pool got its bad name versus billiards.
01:10:48.000 Right.
01:10:49.000 But like darts, they must bet on darts, right?
01:10:51.000 Yeah, people bet on darts, yeah.
01:10:53.000 Darts is a big sport in England.
01:10:55.000 Huge.
01:10:55.000 It's on TV. I saw it on TV. I saw snooker.
01:10:59.000 Snooker.
01:11:00.000 Snooker, they call it.
01:11:02.000 Snooker is pool or something else.
01:11:05.000 Snooker is a totally different game and it's on a giant table.
01:11:09.000 Yeah, a pool table is 9x4.5, which means 4.5 foot wide, 9 foot long.
01:11:16.000 That's a real legit pool table.
01:11:17.000 There's also 10x5s.
01:11:19.000 10x5 pool tables are just starting to make a comeback.
01:11:22.000 There's a company called Diamond, and they make a 10x5 now.
01:11:25.000 It's a big deal.
01:11:26.000 Because the real high-end players like the extra space of the 10x5.
01:11:31.000 They think it makes you play a better game.
01:11:33.000 But Snooker's 12 feet.
01:11:35.000 Jesus.
01:11:35.000 Yeah.
01:11:36.000 It's 12 by 6. It's a giant fucking table.
01:11:39.000 And these dudes have a tiny little ball.
01:11:42.000 It's a tiny ass little ball.
01:11:43.000 It's way smaller than a pool ball.
01:11:44.000 And the holes are really tiny.
01:11:46.000 And the cut of the rails is very different.
01:11:49.000 Like you can kind of rattle a ball into a pool table hole.
01:11:52.000 It'll kind of drop in.
01:11:53.000 But you have to hit.
01:11:55.000 Like this is a Snooker table.
01:11:56.000 That's a soccer field.
01:11:57.000 Look at the size of this fucking table.
01:11:58.000 Now this is Ronnie O'Sullivan.
01:12:01.000 Who's one of the greatest of all time, and he's a fucking wizard.
01:12:05.000 And this is the greatest game of snooker ever, it's called, because he does everything perfect, and he shoots his whole rack perfect.
01:12:13.000 But snooker's a totally different game.
01:12:15.000 Like, see how the snooker, that goes in there, a snooker, he shot the ball in, and then the ball comes back up again.
01:12:21.000 Comes back up?
01:12:22.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:12:23.000 The black ball.
01:12:24.000 Every time he shoots the black ball in...
01:12:25.000 So there's no scratching?
01:12:27.000 No, you can scratch.
01:12:28.000 I don't know the game.
01:12:30.000 I don't understand the game.
01:12:31.000 But there's a bunch of points and all these different things that you're doing.
01:12:35.000 But see how he knocks that black ball in?
01:12:37.000 After the black ball goes in, the guy pulls it out and he puts it back in the spot.
01:12:41.000 And then he has to shoot one of the reds again.
01:12:43.000 And then after he shoots the red, then he goes and shoots the black again.
01:12:46.000 And every time he's doing it, see that stack of balls?
01:12:49.000 He's trying to collide into those balls to open them up.
01:12:51.000 And if he can open them up, then he can get it to a place where he can separate those balls and make them all.
01:12:58.000 So watch.
01:12:58.000 He's going to make this red ball, and then he's going to pound up.
01:13:01.000 Now he's at an angle with that black ball.
01:13:04.000 So as he shoots that black ball in, he's going to smack into those other balls.
01:13:08.000 Bing!
01:13:08.000 See that?
01:13:09.000 Right.
01:13:10.000 See, now, again, I don't know this game very well, but I understand pool, so I see what he's doing with those balls.
01:13:16.000 I knew he was going to do that.
01:13:17.000 So now he's just going to pocket these balls in the side, but you're dealing with the tiniest little fucking hole, and they have tiny little tips on their pool cues.
01:13:26.000 It's sort of like a pool cue, but they're all made of ash, which is very different.
01:13:31.000 Ash?
01:13:31.000 Yeah, ash wood, whereas...
01:13:35.000 Most American pool cues, at least the shafts, are made out of maple.
01:13:38.000 There's a lot of weird variables.
01:13:40.000 Like, ash is very stiff, but also very light.
01:13:43.000 So their game is very different, but it's also very similar.
01:13:47.000 He's also thinking very fast.
01:13:48.000 Oh, he's a wizard.
01:13:49.000 This guy's a super genius.
01:13:51.000 But...
01:13:52.000 I wouldn't have taken my second shot yet.
01:13:54.000 I know.
01:13:55.000 He's like clearing the table.
01:13:56.000 He's doing this every day, you gotta realize.
01:13:58.000 But you gotta think he's also extremely wealthy because of this game.
01:14:02.000 This is not a game like American Pool.
01:14:04.000 This is a game like more akin to like golf in terms of like purses and how much money these guys can make.
01:14:10.000 At least it was at one point in time.
01:14:12.000 I think somehow or another it's dried up.
01:14:14.000 I think like Snooker doesn't...
01:14:16.000 Oh, yeah.
01:14:27.000 That gets ugly.
01:14:28.000 That old man is like the ball boy in tennis.
01:14:31.000 Exactly.
01:14:31.000 It's like grabbing the ball out the hole and putting it on the table.
01:14:33.000 But he does it with gloves on, like a gentleman.
01:14:36.000 Actually, the gloves have a purpose.
01:14:38.000 The gloves are so your hand oils don't get on the ball.
01:14:41.000 Because the balls are made out of what's called phenolic.
01:14:44.000 It's like a type of, I think it's like a composite plastic.
01:14:48.000 And they're super hard.
01:14:50.000 Like if you touch those balls that are out there on that table, they're super hard.
01:14:53.000 And they used to make them with either clay or ivory way back in the day.
01:14:59.000 Yeah.
01:15:00.000 A lot of times they made the cue ball with ivory, and then the other balls would be made out of clay, or sometimes everything would be made out of clay.
01:15:08.000 But they were like these dead balls that were really tough to move around.
01:15:11.000 And then when they figured out this phenolic stuff, you're dealing with these things that get super slick.
01:15:16.000 So the greases from your hands, if you touch a ball, the oils on your hands will actually put a residue on the ball and it'll affect the way the ball moves.
01:15:27.000 Throw the game off.
01:15:28.000 Yeah, so if you see dudes touching cue balls and balls in your playing pool, like anybody who really knows how to play is going to go, well, that's going to fuck everything up.
01:15:36.000 Put your gloves on.
01:15:37.000 Yeah, or put a towel on and wipe them down.
01:15:39.000 Some serious games, they'll wipe every ball down after every rack.
01:15:44.000 In regular pool.
01:15:45.000 Yeah.
01:15:46.000 Guys that are gambling, they want that ball to respond a very particular way.
01:15:51.000 Right.
01:15:52.000 Because you get this...
01:15:53.000 When you think about what pool is, right, you're taking a cue, the average weight of a cue is about 19 ounces, so it's a very light thing, it's a little over a pound, and you're taking this thing, and just by how hard you're hitting, you're trying to control the revolutions of a ball,
01:16:09.000 and also those revolutions after it collides with a ball and knocks it into a hole, and then you're trying to Control the revolutions to like literally within inches and you get a feel after you do it for a while You play for hours and hours especially after years and years of playing You get this feel where like the guy like like that guy Efron Reyes that I was talking about he could just put that ball wherever the fuck he wants it It goes wherever he wants it.
01:16:33.000 He makes a ball.
01:16:34.000 The ball goes wherever he wants it.
01:16:37.000 And you watch him play.
01:16:38.000 It's like you're watching an art form.
01:16:41.000 If you know how hard it is to play the way that guy plays...
01:16:45.000 I know.
01:16:45.000 I suck so bad.
01:16:46.000 I know it's hard to play.
01:16:47.000 See, the thing about sucking so bad, though, is maybe you don't even appreciate how crazy it is what he's doing.
01:16:52.000 I do.
01:16:53.000 If you could play a little bit...
01:16:54.000 Then you watch them and you just go, God.
01:16:56.000 The people that really appreciate a guy like Efren Reyes, or Earl Strickland for that matter, or any of these world champion players, the people who really appreciate him are people that have played for a while.
01:17:07.000 Right.
01:17:07.000 You know how you say you don't have the time to learn billiards?
01:17:10.000 Yeah.
01:17:10.000 It's like, the times I played pool, or you play against somebody good, or you watch somebody play, you're like...
01:17:17.000 Yeah, that takes a lot of practice.
01:17:19.000 I don't have the time to get that good.
01:17:22.000 Yeah.
01:17:22.000 Yeah.
01:17:22.000 There's only so many hours in a day, man.
01:17:24.000 Yeah.
01:17:25.000 You want to play golf?
01:17:26.000 Go play golf.
01:17:27.000 You crazy?
01:17:28.000 Yeah.
01:17:29.000 If you want to start golf today, you must have just extra time coming out of your ass.
01:17:34.000 Right.
01:17:34.000 That's like a nine-hour commitment.
01:17:36.000 Yeah.
01:17:36.000 You got to join a country club?
01:17:38.000 I know a dude who just joined a country club that costs a quarter of a million dollars a year.
01:17:43.000 How often is he going?
01:17:45.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:17:46.000 What?
01:17:47.000 It costs a quarter of a million dollars a year.
01:17:51.000 It costs that.
01:17:53.000 And then you have to pay money when you go.
01:17:55.000 I'm sure.
01:17:56.000 You have to eat there.
01:17:56.000 You have to get equipment.
01:17:58.000 Unless everything's free, other than that, you just go there and it's all free, but that doesn't make sense.
01:18:03.000 I might open up a country club.
01:18:04.000 I think they just, that's what we were talking about, like the billionaire ballers club.
01:18:08.000 If you're a billionaire baller, a quarter million bucks ain't shit.
01:18:11.000 It's like if someone says, hey Ian, we want you to join the Comedians Union, it's $25 a year.
01:18:15.000 You're like, what's $25?
01:18:17.000 Yeah, here you go, $25.
01:18:18.000 And if you're a super baller, $250,000 a year.
01:18:23.000 You're going there, you're going to run into other billionaires, you're going to do business, and you're going to make that money back.
01:18:29.000 That's what I'm saying.
01:18:30.000 It's worth it in spades.
01:18:31.000 And you're insulated because everybody there is a baller.
01:18:35.000 You're only around people who can afford a $250,000 a year membership to this shithole.
01:18:40.000 And the people that work there, they just want to keep their job.
01:18:43.000 This probably pays good.
01:18:44.000 So they're just, hey, what do you want?
01:18:47.000 Here's your order.
01:18:48.000 Leave you alone.
01:18:49.000 You know what I don't get?
01:18:51.000 People that want to live on golf courses that don't play golf.
01:18:54.000 Oh, for real?
01:18:55.000 Yeah, like hold on.
01:18:55.000 You don't play golf and you want to live on a golf course?
01:18:58.000 It does look beautiful.
01:18:59.000 It does look beautiful until some drunk assholes are playing golf right outside your bedroom.
01:19:03.000 There are people that live Golf courses.
01:19:06.000 Oh, yeah.
01:19:07.000 Oh, yeah, dude everywhere There's a lot of these places are like gated communities that are on golf courses.
01:19:13.000 It's super common It's like the ultimate I'm a baller statement.
01:19:17.000 You have a gated community That's a golf course and you're a member of it.
01:19:22.000 There's a place out here.
01:19:23.000 It's called Lake Sherwood.
01:19:24.000 Oh, yeah Lake Sherwood Country Club.
01:19:26.000 It's amazing.
01:19:27.000 You go there.
01:19:28.000 There's these beautiful houses this amazing golf course and Just, everyone's so white.
01:19:33.000 It's incredible.
01:19:34.000 It's hilarious.
01:19:35.000 And they actually have their own lake.
01:19:38.000 There's a lake out there.
01:19:39.000 You can go bass fishing in it.
01:19:40.000 Oh, word.
01:19:41.000 Do they have bass in there?
01:19:42.000 Yeah, they have like largemouth bass in this lake.
01:19:44.000 Yeah, and it's a beautiful community.
01:19:47.000 And these people have these houses that are like on a golf course.
01:19:51.000 If it costs just a quarter of a mil to be a part of a golf club, how much does it cost to have a house to Probably a place you live in on the golf course.
01:20:03.000 Millions and millions of dollars, for sure.
01:20:05.000 I mean, it's a wealthy community.
01:20:07.000 But I think that's when you get those sort of CEO dudes.
01:20:11.000 They start moving into that upper echelon of finance and cash.
01:20:17.000 They want to be surrounded by people just like them.
01:20:20.000 It's like us wanting to be around other comedians.
01:20:24.000 Because I don't have any civilian friends, really.
01:20:26.000 All comedians?
01:20:27.000 Yeah, right now.
01:20:28.000 Like, I've been in it so long.
01:20:30.000 Like...
01:20:31.000 Not funny, we call it civilians.
01:20:32.000 People get mad at that, by the way.
01:20:34.000 They are.
01:20:35.000 But people get mad at it.
01:20:36.000 Like, you use military terms.
01:20:38.000 Yeah.
01:20:39.000 That's what they are, man.
01:20:42.000 Sorry.
01:20:44.000 It's a funny thing.
01:20:45.000 That term, like, as soon as you say it to a comic, they know what it is.
01:20:48.000 Even if you've never used it around them before.
01:20:50.000 And they get it.
01:20:52.000 But, yeah.
01:20:54.000 Yeah, they don't understand true debauchery.
01:20:56.000 You think you get it.
01:20:58.000 You need to hang out with atheist Ari Shaffir in Amsterdam for a week.
01:21:02.000 You don't understand what the fuck is really going on.
01:21:05.000 If I'm around a friend from high school, And I say something, even if the person that they just introduced me to laughed, they say, you gotta excuse him.
01:21:16.000 He's a comedian.
01:21:17.000 Like none of my comedian friends would ever say no shit like that.
01:21:20.000 Right.
01:21:21.000 Like try to like make an excuse for something that they feel uncomfortable about that I said.
01:21:26.000 You know where that comes from?
01:21:28.000 Where?
01:21:28.000 Human resources.
01:21:29.000 That comes from like office rules.
01:21:32.000 You want to keep that job, you got to keep your behavior in check.
01:21:35.000 You can't be yourself.
01:21:36.000 Right.
01:21:37.000 I mean, how many people just live out there under a vice?
01:21:41.000 Just a vice of repression.
01:21:45.000 Right.
01:21:45.000 Can't laugh around, can't joke around about shit.
01:21:49.000 Yeah, and I take that for granted because what I do, I can say whatever I want.
01:21:52.000 Sometimes I think I'm not sane enough based on the other people that are saying shit to me.
01:21:58.000 Yeah.
01:21:59.000 I mean, imagine if you're in an office with 50 people and you hate 10 of them.
01:22:03.000 And one of them's your boss.
01:22:05.000 Right.
01:22:05.000 Right.
01:22:06.000 And there's a bunch of attention-seeking dipshits in the staff, taking credit for other people's work.
01:22:12.000 You can't say anything.
01:22:15.000 Just go home and complain to your wife.
01:22:17.000 They live in hell.
01:22:18.000 Or your husband or whatever.
01:22:20.000 So many people live in hell.
01:22:22.000 How many people live in hell like that?
01:22:24.000 Just stuck all day with dipshits, saying dumb things.
01:22:30.000 But that's why people listen to your podcast.
01:22:34.000 It's like when you watch somebody on TV, you watch a James Bond movie, and he's doing things that you can't do.
01:22:43.000 Just having a podcast where you say whatever the fuck you want, and just living Like, people live...
01:22:50.000 You're in an office, you get to live through you.
01:22:53.000 You know what I mean?
01:22:54.000 Through your podcast.
01:22:55.000 It's a lot of pressure.
01:22:56.000 Nah, just keep doing what you're regularly doing.
01:22:59.000 It's a lot of pressure.
01:23:00.000 I'm feeling pressure.
01:23:02.000 Gotta be careful with all that pressure.
01:23:05.000 Yeah.
01:23:06.000 And that's why, you know, that's why...
01:23:07.000 That's partly why Trump is so popular.
01:23:11.000 Because he's the first president to just talk shit.
01:23:15.000 Like, it's truly a powerful thing.
01:23:18.000 Like, first, when you're the most powerful man in the world, you're censored.
01:23:23.000 But this is the first uncensored most powerful man in the world.
01:23:26.000 He's truly exuding his power on a don't give a fuck level.
01:23:32.000 Well, he gives a little bit of a fuck, but not enough of a fuck to change.
01:23:35.000 Yeah, he only gives a fuck...
01:23:37.000 If he gets dinged a little bit, but he doesn't pull back.
01:23:41.000 He swats back defensively in a way that a listener would want to swat back defensively at work, but still can't because Trump seems so less worried about his job and more like, I'm just going to be me.
01:23:58.000 Or when Chappelle quit the Chappelle show.
01:24:01.000 A lot of people found freedom in that.
01:24:04.000 That's why he's so mythical.
01:24:06.000 Oh, for sure.
01:24:07.000 Yeah.
01:24:07.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:24:08.000 That's a good point.
01:24:08.000 Like, a lot of people make $50 million, but how many people you know turn down $50 million?
01:24:14.000 There's fewer of those.
01:24:16.000 Yeah.
01:24:17.000 You know?
01:24:17.000 Just one.
01:24:18.000 Just one.
01:24:20.000 Yeah, and he also didn't do stand-up in any scheduled performance for years.
01:24:25.000 He just would show up places.
01:24:27.000 Yeah, and he still does that.
01:24:28.000 So he just uses that.
01:24:29.000 Ah, I'm going to show up this place.
01:24:31.000 Yeah.
01:24:31.000 And then they put out an email or however.
01:24:34.000 Oh, he just shows up.
01:24:35.000 I told you about when I was in Denver.
01:24:36.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
01:24:37.000 He just showed up.
01:24:38.000 Yeah.
01:24:39.000 I go to the green room.
01:24:39.000 Dave's in there.
01:24:40.000 I go, what are you doing, man?
01:24:41.000 Hey, Joe Rogan.
01:24:44.000 Yeah, that's his way, I guess, of just being free.
01:24:47.000 Free, yeah, do it whenever you want.
01:24:48.000 The only thing that he has scheduled is the Radio City thing.
01:24:52.000 And that's because, I guess, it's Radio City and you have to schedule it.
01:24:55.000 What does he do?
01:24:55.000 He does a regular show there?
01:24:57.000 He did it a few years ago.
01:24:59.000 Now he's going to do maybe a week and a half or two weeks of shows there.
01:25:02.000 And he's going to have guests on it, like musical guests, comics some days.
01:25:06.000 Ooh, I like it.
01:25:07.000 That's amazing.
01:25:08.000 He's going to have a comics ball party.
01:25:09.000 That's a great idea.
01:25:10.000 Yeah.
01:25:11.000 That's a great idea.
01:25:12.000 Wow.
01:25:13.000 Yeah, I mean, he does represent what we all consider to be like the highest standard of a real comic artist.
01:25:21.000 Right.
01:25:21.000 You know, and when you get together with a group of comedians and you look at like who's like doing it the right way.
01:25:29.000 Right.
01:25:29.000 I mean, there's other ways to do it that are really like more commercially successful.
01:25:33.000 I mean, Louis is more commercially successful in terms of like constantly chasing it down.
01:25:38.000 But Davis just also has that mythical quality to it as well.
01:25:41.000 Like you were talking about turning down the 50 million.
01:25:44.000 That has a big factor in how we look at it too.
01:25:47.000 That's his biggest TV credit.
01:25:48.000 It's turning down.
01:25:50.000 And also like walking away from the greatest sketch show the world's ever known.
01:25:55.000 That is still to me, in my eyes, the greatest sketch show of all time.
01:25:59.000 It had a lot of funny ass shit on there.
01:26:00.000 As far as hit or miss, it's the best ever.
01:26:05.000 Saturday Night Live has some great sketches, but there's a lot of turds in there too.
01:26:10.000 Yeah, mostly turds.
01:26:11.000 Just over the accumulation of years, it's got a lot of bullshit.
01:26:16.000 And it's also because of the format.
01:26:18.000 I mean, they're trying to come up with a new show every week.
01:26:20.000 It's brutal.
01:26:21.000 It's also like when I was talking to Phil Hartman.
01:26:25.000 When he had just come from Saturday Night Live and he was on news radio, he was talking about how competitive it is there.
01:26:31.000 Yeah, it is.
01:26:31.000 The backstabby.
01:26:32.000 Yeah.
01:26:33.000 This, like, infighting and all this, and everyone's fighting to get their stuff on the air.
01:26:36.000 I was like, ooh.
01:26:38.000 I was like, I don't...
01:26:39.000 And they don't care if it's the best or funny.
01:26:41.000 I could backstab somebody with a good sketch to get my okay sketch on so I get some time, some shine.
01:26:47.000 Fuck it.
01:26:48.000 Well, listen, if you look at all the people that have been on Saturday Night Live, right?
01:26:53.000 How many of them are you like, that guy was on Saturday Night Live?
01:26:56.000 There's a lot.
01:26:57.000 There's a lot.
01:26:59.000 Saturday Night Live used to be, holy shit, it's Dan Aykroyd.
01:27:02.000 It's Gilda Radner.
01:27:04.000 It's John Belushi.
01:27:06.000 It was people that were giant.
01:27:07.000 Chevy Chase.
01:27:08.000 People that were giant because they were on Saturday Night Live.
01:27:11.000 If you were on Saturday Night Live, you fucking made it, man.
01:27:14.000 Right, right.
01:27:15.000 Now it's maybe, what, one out of ten that you even know who the fuck they are after they leave?
01:27:21.000 Yeah.
01:27:21.000 There's a lot of ex-Saturday Night Live people.
01:27:24.000 How about Daryl Hammond?
01:27:25.000 Daryl Hammond was on Saturday Night Live for a long fucking time.
01:27:30.000 But if you come up to the average person and say, and he's a funny comic.
01:27:34.000 Do you remember Daryl from New York?
01:27:35.000 Yeah, I remember Daryl.
01:27:36.000 He's a funny guy, man, before Saturday Night Live.
01:27:39.000 But it didn't translate into big movies or a lot of stuff.
01:27:43.000 You know, and that guy was really good.
01:27:46.000 Right.
01:27:47.000 I mean, he was in some really good sketches.
01:27:49.000 Tim Meadows.
01:27:50.000 Whatever happened to Tim Meadows?
01:27:51.000 He's doing stand-up and he gets jobs, but he's not big like he was when he's on SNL. There was a time, right?
01:27:57.000 I know.
01:27:57.000 There was a time when him and Pharoah were kind of like neck and neck.
01:28:01.000 Yeah.
01:28:02.000 They both leave SNL and...
01:28:04.000 What happened?
01:28:05.000 He was in like a couple of duds.
01:28:07.000 Yeah.
01:28:08.000 What was that one cool guy movie he was in?
01:28:10.000 Oh, yeah.
01:28:10.000 The Ladies Man.
01:28:11.000 Ladies Man.
01:28:12.000 That one killed it.
01:28:13.000 Yeah.
01:28:14.000 Like, SNL is like a record deal.
01:28:17.000 It's like, when you get out, you drop your first album.
01:28:20.000 Yeah.
01:28:20.000 If it doesn't hit...
01:28:22.000 It's a wrap.
01:28:23.000 Show business would be Stone Cold.
01:28:27.000 Yeah, look at him, man.
01:28:29.000 Ladies, man.
01:28:30.000 He was funny in this movie, too.
01:28:31.000 And that was his character on SNL, right?
01:28:34.000 Which means it's not even his movie.
01:28:35.000 Like, Lauren gets the...
01:28:37.000 He gets all the movies.
01:28:39.000 Like, when you create a character on SNL, it's like, oh, bitch, that's my movie.
01:28:44.000 Like, you can't just do it on your own.
01:28:46.000 And then you get cut loose, and then it's like, well, good luck.
01:28:50.000 I mean, how many of them are there?
01:28:51.000 How many, like, really successful comedians have come from SNL versus how many have been on?
01:28:58.000 Right.
01:28:59.000 Probably crazy numbers, right?
01:29:00.000 Yeah, here's the list of almost everyone that's ever been on it, I think.
01:29:05.000 Whoa.
01:29:05.000 It's a lot of people.
01:29:07.000 It even keeps going.
01:29:08.000 Oh, well, there's probably hundreds of people that have been on forever.
01:29:12.000 Yeah, there's probably hundreds.
01:29:12.000 But there's guys like Chris Kattan.
01:29:14.000 He's doing stand-up now.
01:29:15.000 Yeah.
01:29:16.000 I forgot Al Franken was on it.
01:29:17.000 Oh, shit.
01:29:18.000 Yeah.
01:29:19.000 He's a senator now?
01:29:21.000 Yeah.
01:29:22.000 People want him to run for president.
01:29:24.000 Yeah.
01:29:25.000 Joe Piscopo, that's right.
01:29:27.000 He was the Jersey guy.
01:29:28.000 I'm from Jersey.
01:29:29.000 Are you from Jersey?
01:29:30.000 I'm from Jersey.
01:29:30.000 I know.
01:29:30.000 Where's Rachel Drack?
01:29:32.000 She was talented.
01:29:32.000 She was killing it.
01:29:34.000 Garrett Morris.
01:29:35.000 Yeah.
01:29:35.000 Yeah, there's a lot of them, man.
01:29:36.000 You forget.
01:29:37.000 Janine Garofalo was on SNL? Oh, shit.
01:29:39.000 I didn't know that.
01:29:40.000 I totally forgot that.
01:29:42.000 That's right.
01:29:42.000 Gilbert Gottfried.
01:29:43.000 Dennis Miller.
01:29:44.000 Oh, Gilbert Gottfried.
01:29:45.000 Molly Shannon.
01:29:46.000 Whatever happened to Molly Shannon?
01:29:47.000 I know.
01:29:47.000 She was huge on there.
01:29:48.000 She was huge off of there.
01:29:50.000 Remember?
01:29:50.000 She had a bunch of movies.
01:29:51.000 Yeah.
01:29:51.000 What happened to her?
01:29:52.000 I think one of the movies bombed.
01:29:54.000 She had like two and they bombed.
01:29:56.000 That's all it takes.
01:29:57.000 They're done with you.
01:29:58.000 Death.
01:29:58.000 I didn't know Sarah Silverman was on SNL. Yeah, she was for a little bit.
01:30:02.000 I don't know anything.
01:30:04.000 I really barely pay attention.
01:30:07.000 But yeah, that's...
01:30:09.000 I mean...
01:30:10.000 If you look at like...
01:30:12.000 All-time sketch shows.
01:30:14.000 I mean SNL had to do a live one every week They had to do all new material every week doing from studio audience do it live on television a lot of impediments But as far as overall quality best one ever Chappelle show Chappelle You know what number two might be in living color.
01:30:30.000 Yeah, people forgot about in living color.
01:30:32.000 Yeah, that was hilarious And also, shocking!
01:30:36.000 Shocking!
01:30:38.000 Handyman?
01:30:39.000 They had a handicapped superhero?
01:30:41.000 What?
01:30:42.000 You couldn't do that today, ever!
01:30:44.000 Fire Marshal Bill?
01:30:45.000 Get the fuck out of here.
01:30:46.000 You can't do that.
01:30:48.000 That's just timing.
01:30:50.000 When I think about that time, it's just timing.
01:30:53.000 It's like, Keenan's gonna do a sketch show, he's at the comedy store, his brother's there, Fucking Jim Carrey's there.
01:31:02.000 Yeah.
01:31:02.000 David Allen Greer's around, free.
01:31:05.000 Killers.
01:31:05.000 Killers, like just waiting for a shot.
01:31:07.000 They all get together.
01:31:09.000 David, what's his name?
01:31:11.000 Skinny guy, Tommy Davidson.
01:31:13.000 Tommy Davidson, yeah.
01:31:14.000 All this talent just needing a shot.
01:31:18.000 And a fly girl.
01:31:19.000 Jennifer Lopez.
01:31:21.000 Wow.
01:31:23.000 And the other Puerto Rican leader, the Fly Girls.
01:31:25.000 I forgot her name right now.
01:31:27.000 Rosie Perez?
01:31:28.000 Rosie Perez.
01:31:29.000 Like, look how much shit came out of that show.
01:31:32.000 Crazy.
01:31:32.000 Even afterwards, Jamie Foxx came on.
01:31:35.000 Yeah.
01:31:37.000 Careers that are still going, man.
01:31:40.000 And then there was MADtv, where you'd watch, MADtv would be on like season 10, you'd be like, that show's still in the air?
01:31:47.000 What the fuck?
01:31:49.000 But MADtv had a bunch of great sketches too.
01:31:52.000 People just forgot.
01:31:53.000 They had really good, innovative sketches too.
01:31:55.000 And that was like when people were comparing Inside Amy Schumer, like a lot of the shows they were saying, a lot of the episodes they were saying were ripped off.
01:32:03.000 They thought were ripped off from MADtv.
01:32:06.000 But part of that is because you run out of premises.
01:32:09.000 Like, didn't Simpsons, like, South Park always used to joke around about, like, Simpsons.
01:32:15.000 They had episodes called Simpsons Already Did It.
01:32:17.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:32:17.000 Yeah, because the Simpsons did everything.
01:32:19.000 Yeah, you're stealing from yourself because you got new writers.
01:32:22.000 Yeah.
01:32:22.000 There's, like, Simpsons been on, what, 20 years?
01:32:25.000 Maybe longer?
01:32:26.000 At least.
01:32:26.000 South Park's been on 20 years now.
01:32:28.000 So somebody who's been writing...
01:32:29.000 I think The Simpsons were on in the 80s.
01:32:32.000 Yeah, they might have been.
01:32:33.000 It's close to 30 years for sure.
01:32:34.000 Yeah.
01:32:35.000 So somebody who's been writing on The Simpsons five years, just five years, which is a long time, can come up with a premise that was did in year 10 of The Simpsons and not know.
01:32:45.000 Yeah.
01:32:45.000 And everybody there, they might have forgot and just, fuck it, let's do it.
01:32:49.000 Yeah, it doesn't matter as long as you can do it.
01:32:51.000 Yeah.
01:32:52.000 Right, it's like, yeah.
01:32:54.000 Yeah.
01:32:55.000 I mean, there's got to be someone, but no one can probably recall every episode of The Simpsons.
01:33:01.000 I'm probably wrong.
01:33:03.000 There's probably some real super fans out there that can do it.
01:33:06.000 I'm sure.
01:33:06.000 You do.
01:33:07.000 There you go.
01:33:08.000 Jamie's like, I've got ginks in my blood.
01:33:09.000 Not me, but I know people that can.
01:33:10.000 Yeah.
01:33:11.000 No, for sure.
01:33:12.000 Yeah, it seems like you get to a certain number of episodes of things.
01:33:19.000 For sure, they've covered virtually at least close to every subject.
01:33:24.000 But maybe not.
01:33:27.000 But the thing about cartoons, though, is that you could just do anything.
01:33:31.000 It's so much more beautiful in terms of what you can get away with, kill people, they come back to life next week, you don't have to explain it.
01:33:38.000 South Park can do anything.
01:33:41.000 Their animation is so crude and simple, they can whack together a show in a matter of minutes.
01:33:46.000 If something happened today, they can put a show up tomorrow.
01:33:49.000 They literally could.
01:33:50.000 I mean, I'm sure they're such a well-oiled machine now, too.
01:33:53.000 And then those guys' work ethic is just...
01:33:56.000 Insane.
01:33:56.000 Yeah.
01:33:57.000 Yeah, that Trey Parker guy's off the charts.
01:33:58.000 Yeah, they got rock work ethic.
01:34:00.000 Yeah.
01:34:01.000 Like, they're in there.
01:34:01.000 With their brain.
01:34:02.000 Yeah, with their brain, yeah.
01:34:03.000 I wonder what that's about.
01:34:05.000 Like, what keeps a person going that hard for so long?
01:34:08.000 I know.
01:34:10.000 Like, because it can't be the money.
01:34:14.000 I wonder.
01:34:16.000 I mean, it's got to be the creativity.
01:34:18.000 It's just got to be just seeing the finished product.
01:34:22.000 But they're also very socially responsible.
01:34:26.000 They'll shit on people when things go bad in the news, and they'll come after people.
01:34:31.000 I like that about them.
01:34:33.000 I do too.
01:34:34.000 Yeah, man.
01:34:34.000 Well, that Carlos Mencia, Kanye West, Fish Sticks episode, Jesus Christ.
01:34:40.000 That was when he was on Comedy Central.
01:34:43.000 It was like, whoa, they went hard.
01:34:47.000 And Team America World Police, they do that on the side.
01:34:49.000 Like, what?
01:34:50.000 Yeah, and the Book of Mormon.
01:34:52.000 Yeah.
01:34:52.000 Yeah, just...
01:34:53.000 Just super creative guys.
01:34:55.000 Yeah, man.
01:34:56.000 Makes you feel lazy?
01:34:57.000 Yeah, there's a lot of people out there that apparently make me feel lazy.
01:35:01.000 So, your schedule...
01:35:03.000 You keep going.
01:35:05.000 Like, how the fuck is he doing this shit?
01:35:07.000 Coffee.
01:35:08.000 Coffee.
01:35:08.000 Gotta have coffee.
01:35:10.000 Some deep-seated desire to figure things out.
01:35:13.000 I don't know.
01:35:14.000 I wonder.
01:35:16.000 I like to do a lot of shit that's not work-related, too.
01:35:19.000 I'm leaning more towards doing more of that lately.
01:35:21.000 I think that at a certain point in time, I can't keep doing three things.
01:35:26.000 Can't keep working for the UFC, doing a podcast, and doing stand-up.
01:35:29.000 I'm gonna have to chop it down to two or one.
01:35:34.000 Someday, let me just stand up.
01:35:37.000 Occasionally.
01:35:38.000 Just occasional stand up.
01:35:40.000 Occasional stand up.
01:35:40.000 Yeah.
01:35:41.000 I mean, you get to a certain point.
01:35:42.000 I mean, do you want to just, I don't know, I guess stand up, I don't really have a burnout feeling because I always create new stuff every couple of years and it's always about putting it together.
01:35:54.000 But I mean, how many more years are you going to want to do that?
01:35:56.000 Like, so what's, Like, what's your ultimate, like, later on future goal?
01:36:01.000 Let's say even five years from now.
01:36:03.000 Like, what do you think will make you happy doing?
01:36:06.000 That's part of the problem.
01:36:07.000 I don't have any goals.
01:36:08.000 I have zero goals.
01:36:10.000 This is my goal.
01:36:11.000 Do the best stand-up I can do.
01:36:13.000 Try to do the best podcast I can do.
01:36:15.000 Do the best job when I'm doing commentary.
01:36:17.000 Just do the best I can do while I'm doing it.
01:36:19.000 Enjoy it.
01:36:20.000 That's simple enough.
01:36:20.000 Yeah, that's it.
01:36:21.000 I don't really have like, you know, I want to make X amount of money or do X amount.
01:36:26.000 I just don't want it to suck.
01:36:28.000 Right.
01:36:29.000 My whole motivation is don't put anything that sucks.
01:36:33.000 Put out things that people enjoy.
01:36:35.000 Figure out a way to make it enjoyable.
01:36:37.000 Put all your effort into it.
01:36:39.000 Because I know that if I don't do that, I will feel like shit.
01:36:44.000 Right.
01:36:44.000 I know if I have a show that's not so good, and we've all had those, or a podcast that's not so good, and I've definitely had those.
01:36:51.000 It does not feel good.
01:36:54.000 They don't always come out perfect.
01:36:55.000 There's no way around that.
01:36:57.000 Especially when we're doing these live shows, man.
01:37:00.000 Live shows have so many variables.
01:37:02.000 The time of the show, how tired the audience is, how tired you are, how you've been traveling, are you sick?
01:37:09.000 There's so many things that can affect how your performance comes out, even if you consciously try to pump yourself up.
01:37:16.000 I've had some bad shows when I wasn't feeling good.
01:37:19.000 That's hard, right?
01:37:20.000 When you just don't have the energy or the feeling in the bits the same because you're feeling sick.
01:37:28.000 Bad shows help you get better shows.
01:37:31.000 That's what they're for.
01:37:33.000 They're like, you didn't do this, do this next time.
01:37:36.000 Didn't do that, work on that.
01:37:38.000 Also the sick feeling of like, I don't like a really good show.
01:37:43.000 I don't even like a show that's like, that was pretty good.
01:37:45.000 I don't even like that.
01:37:46.000 If it's like, that was pretty good, I was like, ugh.
01:37:48.000 Why isn't it better?
01:37:51.000 I'm always like, why isn't it better?
01:37:52.000 Why isn't it my best show ever?
01:37:53.000 My last show might have been my best one ever.
01:37:55.000 Why isn't this one my new best one ever?
01:37:59.000 Different audience, different place, venue.
01:38:01.000 I know, but I mean, that's, I think, that's my motivation.
01:38:05.000 That's what keeps me going, like trying to figure out how to wait a...
01:38:08.000 And then also, trying to figure out what to do with my material.
01:38:12.000 Like, should I be writing more stuff here?
01:38:13.000 Should I just be honing this down?
01:38:15.000 Like, how do I approach...
01:38:16.000 Should I toss some of this aside and throw some new stuff in there and then bring it back?
01:38:21.000 And, you know, it's constantly trying to...
01:38:23.000 You know, like when you're creating something, like when you created your CD, don't you get that feeling sort of where you're like, okay, I got to kind of engineer this a little, but I also got to kind of like let it be itself, right?
01:38:35.000 Like I just I'm like that kind of before I Start doing a joke like if I'm doing a joke and I'm like or if I think of a joke like my elimination process of What I should have shouldn't do starts before I start doing The joke.
01:38:57.000 So if the joke fits into my criteria, then I start doing it.
01:39:01.000 So then I'm not wasting time.
01:39:03.000 I don't feel like I'm wasting time from the beginning.
01:39:06.000 I think creatively...
01:39:10.000 Like, I try to do the things that I really like to talk about.
01:39:15.000 So then I don't have to worry about later on looking at the whole thing as much and saying, I got to lose this and I got to lose that.
01:39:21.000 Right.
01:39:22.000 So I start early.
01:39:23.000 So then the things that I'm talking about, I'm already feeling them.
01:39:27.000 Right.
01:39:27.000 It's just sometimes when you hold on to things a long time and you're doing them for a long time.
01:39:32.000 You don't feel it anymore.
01:39:33.000 Then you don't feel it anymore.
01:39:34.000 And the audience tells you, You're not feeling it anymore based on the reaction you're getting now and from when the reaction you used to get.
01:39:43.000 And you could feel that thing getting tired.
01:39:46.000 That's why I always say that stand-up is in some sort of a mass hypnosis.
01:39:50.000 It's very similar.
01:39:51.000 It's not like someone's tricking you or telling you what to do or gonna get you to quit smoking.
01:39:55.000 Not in that way.
01:39:56.000 But when a guy's on stage, like if I'm in the back of the room and I'm watching you and you're killing, one of the things that's really funny is I start thinking the way you're thinking.
01:40:05.000 When you crack a joke about something, it's like, I'm in your groove.
01:40:08.000 I'm letting you do all the thinking for me.
01:40:11.000 If you watch a really good comic, like if I'm watching you, if I'm in the back of the room and I'm watching you, I just let you do all the thinking.
01:40:19.000 Because I know you know what you're doing.
01:40:21.000 I know you're going to take it down a funny place.
01:40:23.000 It's going to be great.
01:40:24.000 Here we go.
01:40:24.000 And just let it happen.
01:40:26.000 But the moment that you don't trust that person anymore, the moment they fuck up or something goes weird and the spell gets broken, you know?
01:40:34.000 And then you're like, oh, that guy just fucked up that joke.
01:40:37.000 This joke sucks now.
01:40:39.000 This joke's not good.
01:40:40.000 I'm not gonna let him think for me anymore.
01:40:42.000 Oh, this subject's terrible.
01:40:44.000 Oh, this subject's just gross.
01:40:46.000 Oh, he's just trying to get noises out of me now.
01:40:49.000 You know?
01:40:50.000 Yeah, you gotta earn the audience's trust to let you co-pilot the evening.
01:40:55.000 100%.
01:40:56.000 And take over.
01:40:57.000 Yeah.
01:40:58.000 And just relax and listen to you.
01:41:00.000 And you can tank it, and you bring it back.
01:41:03.000 That's possible too, as long as you're real honest about what's happening.
01:41:06.000 Yeah, yeah.
01:41:07.000 Like, just in Montreal, we did a show before...
01:41:11.000 So we have a warm-up show.
01:41:14.000 So we're going to tape the LOL thing, so they give you a warm-up show.
01:41:19.000 So I started...
01:41:21.000 So you have eight minutes, and there's other comics on the show.
01:41:24.000 So in the first...
01:41:27.000 I don't even know what jokes I'm going to do for the LOL thing, because everybody's like...
01:41:30.000 What is the LOL thing?
01:41:31.000 It's like Kevin Hart's new network.
01:41:33.000 Oh, okay.
01:41:34.000 And then you're going to do an eight-minute segment on it.
01:41:37.000 It's a network?
01:41:38.000 Yeah, it's a network.
01:41:39.000 What's he going to put it on?
01:41:40.000 I think it's on the internet.
01:41:41.000 Oh, okay.
01:41:42.000 Yeah.
01:41:43.000 So it's a whole, like, internet channel.
01:41:46.000 And it's all comedy.
01:41:48.000 So he's doing scripted.
01:41:49.000 He's taping, like, stand-up shows with a host.
01:41:54.000 And there's people who have half an hour on it.
01:41:57.000 So I just went to do, like, an eight-minute segment.
01:42:00.000 And during the warm-up show, some chick was just talking in the beginning of my set.
01:42:07.000 Talking to you or just talking?
01:42:09.000 Talking to a girlfriend.
01:42:10.000 Ooh.
01:42:11.000 So then the first joke went well, but then I had to stop and say, are you going to shut the fuck up?
01:42:18.000 Ooh.
01:42:19.000 And we should, you know what?
01:42:21.000 I'm going to have you kicked out.
01:42:23.000 And nobody in the club moved.
01:42:25.000 And she's like, no, you're not.
01:42:28.000 Yeah.
01:42:29.000 She said, no, you're not.
01:42:30.000 No, you're not.
01:42:30.000 I said, all right, we'll see.
01:42:31.000 We're going to have you kicked out.
01:42:32.000 I said, who's running this shit?
01:42:34.000 And this is the eight...
01:42:35.000 I only have eight minutes.
01:42:37.000 Right.
01:42:38.000 And I got to get back on track.
01:42:39.000 She said, no, you're not?
01:42:40.000 Yeah, several times.
01:42:42.000 Wow.
01:42:43.000 So she thought she could just talk.
01:42:45.000 Yeah, she could just talk.
01:42:46.000 And you know what?
01:42:46.000 The club did not kick her out.
01:42:48.000 You got to do your whole set with her sitting there?
01:42:50.000 Yeah.
01:42:51.000 But I got them back on track because they did want her to shut up and she did shut up.
01:42:56.000 But the defiance...
01:42:58.000 I've never...
01:42:58.000 And then some Canadian comic later on was like, you know what?
01:43:02.000 You should write the club because we have this problem in the club every time.
01:43:05.000 But if you write a letter to the owner and tell them they never have security here...
01:43:10.000 What club is this?
01:43:11.000 It was the Comedy Nest.
01:43:12.000 Oh, in Montreal.
01:43:13.000 In Montreal, yeah.
01:43:14.000 I've been in that spot before.
01:43:16.000 Does the comedy work still there?
01:43:18.000 The little tiny spot?
01:43:19.000 I think it's still there.
01:43:20.000 That place is amazing.
01:43:22.000 Yeah, it's like a place upstairs.
01:43:23.000 Yeah, it's just like a little fucking room, a hotbox.
01:43:26.000 Dude, there's like 80 people.
01:43:27.000 Yeah.
01:43:28.000 Like, maybe.
01:43:28.000 I did a one-man show in there like two years ago.
01:43:31.000 I did like an hour in there.
01:43:32.000 It was fucking amazing.
01:43:34.000 Yeah.
01:43:35.000 Montreal's an interesting place.
01:43:36.000 You know, it's a funny thing, too, like during the festival.
01:43:38.000 It's like, it becomes like this really intense environment for comedians.
01:43:43.000 A lot of pressure.
01:43:44.000 People go there to be seen.
01:43:46.000 Go there to make deals.
01:43:48.000 People get development deals and shit from Montreal.
01:43:50.000 It's a weird, weird thing.
01:43:52.000 I mean, you gotta go to another country.
01:43:53.000 Go into a country that doesn't even speak English.
01:43:55.000 Yeah.
01:43:56.000 I mean, in Quebec, they prefer French.
01:43:59.000 An English country that refuses to speak English.
01:44:00.000 Yeah.
01:44:01.000 Well, that one section.
01:44:03.000 But it is kind of like visiting another land.
01:44:05.000 It doesn't feel like...
01:44:07.000 Like, if you go to Toronto, it might as well be Detroit or something.
01:44:10.000 I mean, it's a nice city, but, I mean, a little nicer than Detroit, I guess.
01:44:13.000 Sorry, Detroit.
01:44:14.000 People get mad.
01:44:15.000 What?
01:44:15.000 Detroit's amazing!
01:44:16.000 Come on, bro.
01:44:17.000 Okay, let's say Chicago.
01:44:18.000 Might as well be Chicago.
01:44:19.000 Might as well be.
01:44:20.000 I mean, it's just another big city.
01:44:22.000 It doesn't feel like you're in another world.
01:44:24.000 Right.
01:44:24.000 If you go to Montreal, you feel like you might as well be in Europe.
01:44:27.000 Yeah, because people start instantly talking to you in French.
01:44:29.000 Yeah.
01:44:30.000 And then they realize you don't know any French and then start talking English without a French accent.
01:44:36.000 Yeah.
01:44:37.000 Like, how do you know another language?
01:44:39.000 I get you knowing another language, but how do you do it without an accent?
01:44:43.000 Yeah, how do you do it that good?
01:44:44.000 How do you sound straight-up English, speaking English, and how do you sound straight-up French without the English interruption in your French accent?
01:44:55.000 It's crazy.
01:44:55.000 How do you?
01:44:56.000 Yeah.
01:44:56.000 How do you?
01:44:58.000 Good switch.
01:44:59.000 Yeah, I haven't been to Montreal in a while, man.
01:45:02.000 I was there for a UFC maybe a year ago or so.
01:45:06.000 I need to get back up there.
01:45:07.000 Yeah, the women are beautiful there, man.
01:45:09.000 It's an amazing place.
01:45:09.000 It's an amazing place.
01:45:11.000 Cold as fuck in the winter.
01:45:13.000 Yeah, I don't fuck with it in the winter.
01:45:14.000 I used to do winters up there.
01:45:16.000 Yeah.
01:45:16.000 I could headline.
01:45:17.000 I've done shows up there in the winter, but it's like in and out.
01:45:21.000 They used to do black shows at this club called Club Soda.
01:45:25.000 Yeah, I know Club Soda.
01:45:26.000 I used to work there.
01:45:27.000 Yeah, it was dope.
01:45:28.000 Yeah, that was a nice room.
01:45:30.000 Yeah, it was a nice spot, yeah.
01:45:31.000 That's whenever I used to do the festival.
01:45:32.000 I used to do Club Soda.
01:45:33.000 I did it with Ari.
01:45:34.000 Oh, shit.
01:45:35.000 Yeah, Club Soda's great, man.
01:45:37.000 I did...
01:45:38.000 I did the comedy from the Danger Zone with Dom Herrera there from Showtime and from Club Soda too.
01:45:45.000 They taped it?
01:45:45.000 Way back in the day.
01:45:46.000 Yeah, way back in the day.
01:45:47.000 Dom Herrera and I met in Montreal.
01:45:50.000 Montreal's a great festival, man.
01:45:52.000 It's like, we call it like a...
01:45:54.000 Comedy convention.
01:45:55.000 Summer camp, you know, for comics.
01:45:57.000 Yeah.
01:45:57.000 Talk about just all the comics pretty much In the same hotel or spread out throughout a few hotels and you're just hanging out, laughing, having fun in the lobby.
01:46:11.000 Everybody goes off to their shows.
01:46:12.000 Some people come to your shows.
01:46:14.000 You're just having fun, man.
01:46:17.000 You're working.
01:46:17.000 How many days does it go?
01:46:20.000 It starts...
01:46:21.000 It's like two weeks, right?
01:46:22.000 Yeah, it's almost like two weeks, because they start the ethnic show and some other shows a week ahead.
01:46:26.000 Of course.
01:46:26.000 But then last week was like the...
01:46:28.000 Last week was like the last...
01:46:31.000 Like the full-on regular week.
01:46:34.000 The last week is?
01:46:35.000 Yeah.
01:46:37.000 Yeah, there's not another one.
01:46:39.000 They tried to do a couple other ones.
01:46:41.000 They used to have an Aspen one, which is really good.
01:46:43.000 Yeah, that shut down.
01:46:43.000 Yeah, you know why?
01:46:44.000 Because those fucking executives, they would just go skiing all day.
01:46:47.000 They didn't really want to watch the shows.
01:46:49.000 They'd go to the shows and be tired as fuck because there's no air and they've been skiing all day.
01:46:53.000 Yeah.
01:46:53.000 You know?
01:46:55.000 You ever been to Aspen other than that?
01:46:56.000 Yeah, and I caught the flu up there, the worst flu I ever had.
01:46:58.000 At the festival?
01:46:59.000 Yeah, because it was going around, and I was sick, and I had to tape a TV show, and I mustered up enough energy to do the taping, and then I just slept in bed for like two days.
01:47:11.000 Whoa.
01:47:12.000 And then I had to check out of my hotel at 11, but my flight wasn't until like 7. Oh, shit.
01:47:19.000 So I'm like the worst flu ever that I've ever had.
01:47:23.000 And you had to fly with it?
01:47:24.000 I had to fly with it.
01:47:26.000 And when I checked out, this is how bad I was.
01:47:28.000 When I checked out at 11, the guy looked at me and I told him that my flight was at 7. He's like, I'm going to give you a room so you could sleep in until your flight.
01:47:37.000 That saved my life.
01:47:39.000 Wow.
01:47:40.000 And I lay down for like maybe three hours.
01:47:42.000 Did it help?
01:47:43.000 It helped.
01:47:44.000 It helped me enough to have enough energy to just...
01:47:46.000 And then you're at the airport, and I think the flight got delayed.
01:47:48.000 So now I'm like in the airport, worst flu ever, for like two hours.
01:47:54.000 When your immune system is compromised like that too, it's amazing how little energy you have.
01:47:58.000 Yeah.
01:47:59.000 Like when people don't...
01:47:59.000 That's like a cliche that health is the most important thing.
01:48:02.000 You're like, fuck up, bitch.
01:48:04.000 Money is the most important thing.
01:48:06.000 Fuck out of here with your health.
01:48:07.000 I'll be coughing, counting my cash, feeling great.
01:48:09.000 Not true.
01:48:11.000 Health is everything.
01:48:12.000 If you just feel a little shitty, just a little shitty, it markedly changes the way you look at life.
01:48:18.000 If you cut your thumb, right, that changes your whole day.
01:48:23.000 It could, right?
01:48:23.000 Especially if it gets infected.
01:48:25.000 Yeah, that changes your whole...
01:48:26.000 If you stub your toe and that shit hurts, it changes.
01:48:28.000 Like any little thing could change your whole day.
01:48:32.000 Like health-wise.
01:48:34.000 Don't be a bitch, bro.
01:48:36.000 Like some type of hurt or just something.
01:48:40.000 Any injury.
01:48:41.000 Like a headache.
01:48:42.000 Changes everything.
01:48:45.000 And surgery.
01:48:48.000 My buddy's wife got rotator cuff surgery.
01:48:52.000 Just fucked up for weeks apparently.
01:48:55.000 Can't put your shirt on.
01:48:58.000 Agony.
01:48:59.000 I was like, oh no.
01:49:00.000 That doesn't sound good.
01:49:01.000 Yeah, anytime something goes wrong.
01:49:03.000 But I think, like, overall health and wellness is so fucking important.
01:49:07.000 Yeah, for sure.
01:49:08.000 It's so important.
01:49:09.000 It's like there's so many people out there that just don't take care of their meat wagon.
01:49:14.000 You gotta.
01:49:14.000 You gotta take care of your meat vehicle.
01:49:16.000 You have to.
01:49:18.000 You just...
01:49:19.000 What's really crazy to me, like people that I know that don't take care of their body and then they talk about being depressed.
01:49:24.000 It's like, what did you think?
01:49:25.000 You think you just pour shit down your hole and you would feel good?
01:49:31.000 Right.
01:49:31.000 Like just no sleeping, tons of cigarettes, tons of booze, and you thought you'd feel good?
01:49:37.000 Right.
01:49:38.000 You're shocked.
01:49:38.000 I don't know why I feel sick.
01:49:40.000 Right.
01:49:40.000 You don't?
01:49:41.000 I've just been filming shit lately.
01:49:43.000 Doing the same thing over and over again.
01:49:44.000 Taking drugs.
01:49:46.000 Wow.
01:49:47.000 It's hilarious.
01:49:47.000 Did you see What the Health?
01:49:49.000 I watched a doctor's response to What the Health.
01:49:54.000 I watched this because I heard it was like some crazy vegan propaganda.
01:49:58.000 It's not based on science at all.
01:50:00.000 They're trying to say that fat causes diabetes and fat gets clogged up.
01:50:05.000 And doctors that have looked at it, there's been a ton of Right.
01:50:24.000 Right.
01:50:40.000 But these guys lie.
01:50:42.000 I think they went a little overboard on that documentary.
01:50:46.000 What it is is a vegan proselytizing...
01:50:49.000 What you're trying to do is get people to sign up for veganism by scaring the shit out of them with lies.
01:50:56.000 And you're saying things like saturated fats and all these things clog up in your arteries and that causes diabetes.
01:51:04.000 That's not true.
01:51:05.000 Like in this what the hell...
01:51:08.000 What?
01:51:08.000 It's the same guys that made Cowspiracy that came in here.
01:51:11.000 Yes, exactly.
01:51:11.000 And they were wrong about that too when they came in here.
01:51:14.000 They were talking about how many acres it takes for a cow to graze and all the negative aspects.
01:51:19.000 There's absolutely negative aspects when it comes to animal agriculture.
01:51:23.000 And I think it's super important to be honest about those negative aspects even when criticizing it.
01:51:28.000 You can't exaggerate it to make your case look better because the actual facts are disturbing enough.
01:51:33.000 Especially factory farming when it comes to cows and shit and pigs.
01:51:38.000 It's disturbing to see them all stacked up in there like that.
01:51:42.000 It's disturbing to see those rivers of shit where people run these pig farms and the shit comes up.
01:51:48.000 They filmed it with a drone at one of these giant commercial places.
01:51:52.000 It's fucking disturbing.
01:51:53.000 And that is straight up fact.
01:51:55.000 That's enough.
01:51:56.000 There's a ton of actual facts that are disturbing.
01:51:59.000 And as soon as you have these doctors that are just bullshit artists that are saying all these things that aren't supported by science, and when this one doctor goes over all the different things and what the health that are incorrect, you kind of understand what it is.
01:52:14.000 They mean well.
01:52:15.000 I'm sure they mean well.
01:52:16.000 They're trying to get people to quit eating processed meat, which is a very good idea.
01:52:21.000 Processed food is fucking terrible for you.
01:52:24.000 Whether it's food with a lot of preservatives, meats with a lot of preservatives, all that stuff is definitely 100% not good for you.
01:52:30.000 But that doesn't mean that grass-fed beef is bad for you, because it's not.
01:52:34.000 It doesn't mean that you can't have a healthy diet with salmon and fish, you know, like different kinds of ocean fish, scallops, and use that as your primary protein source, and then vegetables, and have like a super healthy diet.
01:52:49.000 Because you will.
01:52:50.000 You will have a super healthy diet.
01:52:52.000 And there's a lot of arguments to avoid dairy.
01:52:55.000 I think a lot of it depends on the individual.
01:52:57.000 A lot of good arguments, right?
01:52:58.000 A lot of really good arguments.
01:53:00.000 Really good arguments in terms of your immune system, inflammation.
01:53:03.000 There's a lot of really good arguments to avoid processed sugar.
01:53:06.000 There's a lot of really good arguments.
01:53:07.000 But I think it's like what we were talking about earlier when you were talking about if you found those scrolls in Qumran.
01:53:14.000 You would kind of like, well, this is what it's saying.
01:53:16.000 Saying I get all the bitches.
01:53:17.000 You know, you need to figure out a way to lean it towards you.
01:53:20.000 Well, these people are clearly on team vegan, which is great, and it's fine.
01:53:25.000 The way to be on team vegan and do it right is be healthy, be nice, and be honest.
01:53:30.000 Be honest, yeah.
01:53:30.000 Be honest.
01:53:30.000 Because it's good enough.
01:53:31.000 Yeah.
01:53:32.000 And you're going to get plenty of those.
01:53:33.000 There's a lot of those out there.
01:53:34.000 I don't want to discredit them.
01:53:36.000 And there's a lot of crazy vegans, too, that are just going to get mad at you, and they just decided, now that they're vegan, to just attack everyone who's not vegan.
01:53:44.000 I've seen those, too.
01:53:45.000 Yeah, I've seen that.
01:53:46.000 Humans, right?
01:53:47.000 That's just...
01:53:47.000 That's just human shit.
01:53:49.000 Yeah, human shit.
01:53:50.000 So, I mean, I know a ton of people that are very happy being vegan, and you're one of them.
01:53:56.000 Right, right.
01:53:56.000 You know, and I fuck with you all the time about it, but you're a healthy dude.
01:53:59.000 You've always been healthy.
01:54:00.000 You know, but you do it right.
01:54:02.000 Yeah, I mean, I've done it wrong.
01:54:04.000 Like, I've been an unhealthy vegan.
01:54:06.000 Like, right now, I gotta stop fucking with sodium.
01:54:10.000 What's wrong with sodium?
01:54:11.000 Like, just high blood pressure-wise?
01:54:14.000 That doesn't really happen.
01:54:15.000 That's not real.
01:54:15.000 Does it?
01:54:15.000 No.
01:54:16.000 See, that's another misconception.
01:54:17.000 The misconception about sodium is that sodium is somehow or another the cause of high blood pressure.
01:54:23.000 That was all put together by some bullshit-ass doctor.
01:54:26.000 One doctor.
01:54:27.000 Pull up the myth of sodium.
01:54:29.000 This is crazy, this story, because so many people believe it.
01:54:32.000 What causes high blood pressure?
01:54:33.000 A lot of it's genetic.
01:54:34.000 Genetic?
01:54:35.000 Yeah, genetic.
01:54:35.000 It could be, you know...
01:54:37.000 Goddammit, Dad.
01:54:38.000 Sedentary lifestyle.
01:54:38.000 There's a lot of factors.
01:54:40.000 Is it sedentary lifestyle?
01:54:41.000 Yeah.
01:54:41.000 Yeah, you don't really work out.
01:54:44.000 Shaking up the salt myth.
01:54:45.000 Here you go.
01:54:46.000 Chris Kresher, who's actually been on the podcast before.
01:54:49.000 An all-age of salt has been invested with a significance for exceeding that inherent in its natural properties.
01:54:57.000 I don't...
01:54:57.000 Okay, that's a little wordy there.
01:54:59.000 Okay.
01:55:01.000 Okay, here we go.
01:55:03.000 It's been referred to as the single most harmful substance in the food supply.
01:55:07.000 But is salt really dangerous?
01:55:09.000 New, new, new.
01:55:09.000 Shaking up the salt myth.
01:55:10.000 Actually, this is not what I'm looking for.
01:55:12.000 What I want you to do is just pull up the conspiracy about how one doctor wrote some bullshit paper about sodium.
01:55:23.000 You got that?
01:55:25.000 Okay.
01:55:25.000 Time to end the war on salt from Scientific America.
01:55:28.000 The zealous drive by politicians to limit our salt intake has little basis in science.
01:55:33.000 It's all bullshit.
01:55:34.000 Make that larger, please, my shitty fucking eyes.
01:55:36.000 There's just so many artists.
01:55:37.000 Like, how do we know what's real and what's not?
01:55:41.000 Yeah, but this is like, it started with, there's like a very clear beginning for this.
01:55:47.000 There was a bullshit study that someone passed And, you know, there's also been a ton of bullshit.
01:55:52.000 There it is, 1904. French doctors reported that six of their subjects who had high blood pressure, a known risk factor for heart disease, were salt fiends.
01:56:00.000 Worries escalated in the 1970s when Brookhaven National Laboratory's Louis Dahl claimed that he had unequivocal evidence that salt causes hypertension.
01:56:11.000 He induced high blood pressure in rats by feeding them the human equivalent of 500 grams of sodium today, which is an insane amount.
01:56:20.000 Today, the average American consumes 3.4 grams of sodium, or 8.4 grams of salt a day.
01:56:27.000 Scroll up a little there.
01:56:28.000 Dahl also discovered that the population tends to continue to be cited as strong evidence of a link...
01:56:35.000 Between salt intake and high blood pressure, people living in countries with high salt consumption, such as Japan, also tend to have high blood pressure and more strokes.
01:56:43.000 But as a paper pointed out several years later in the American Journal of Hypertension, scientists had little luck finding such associations when they compared sodium intakes within populations, which suggested that genetics or other cultural factors might be the culprit.
01:56:58.000 Anyway, this 1977 study Affected the US Senate Select Committee on Nutrition and Human Needs, and they released a report recommending that Americans cut their salt intake by 50-85% based largely on Dahl's work.
01:57:15.000 So this one dick fuck...
01:57:17.000 Ruined it for everybody that wants to put salt in your fries like you can get off that but this is Salt is a mineral and it's a natural part of like being a human being It's an essential mineral essential mineral It's like when you have endurance athletes and they go on these crazy runs and they do like a hundred miles They take salt,
01:57:37.000 right?
01:57:38.000 It's one of the places.
01:57:39.000 Yeah, they put salt in their body and it's in Gatorade It is in Gatorade, a little bit.
01:57:43.000 But you know what the best version of it, apparently, health-wise, is that Himalayan salt?
01:57:47.000 Himalayan, right.
01:57:47.000 Because Himalayan salt has a bunch of natural base minerals in it.
01:57:52.000 They recommend you take a little bit of Himalayan salt, just drop a little bit in your water in the morning, put some lemon in there.
01:57:59.000 Right.
01:57:59.000 So I use that a little bit.
01:58:02.000 But I think with vegan food, probably based on my genetics, because they try to make it taste a certain way, they might put a lot of fucking salt in there.
01:58:15.000 Oh, okay.
01:58:16.000 I see what you're saying.
01:58:17.000 But I could feel something towards December in my body whenever I ate.
01:58:22.000 So now that I've cut back, I'll cook more, and I'll just eat places that have less salt.
01:58:29.000 Because there's salt and shit, but some people over-salt shit.
01:58:32.000 It also could be sugar.
01:58:33.000 You could be getting sugar in your food, too.
01:58:35.000 I mean, what you should do, honestly, is, and I could send you to a guy, you should get some blood work done.
01:58:41.000 Alright.
01:58:41.000 I did some.
01:58:42.000 Did?
01:58:42.000 What'd they say?
01:58:43.000 It was, the guy said salt.
01:58:47.000 He said you took too much salt.
01:58:48.000 But the guy's a fucking idiot.
01:58:49.000 Jesus Christ.
01:58:50.000 You went to an idiot doctor.
01:58:52.000 Why did he say you have too much salt?
01:58:54.000 Did you find sodium in your blood?
01:58:55.000 Like what is he saying?
01:58:56.000 Like the blood pressure was getting high.
01:58:59.000 What a fucking asshole.
01:59:00.000 They've proven there's not a connection.
01:59:03.000 This idiot is telling you to cut back the salt.
01:59:06.000 How the fuck are you supposed to trust doctors when they're going by some shit that they went to school with in 1980?
01:59:11.000 That's my point.
01:59:11.000 You can't trust anybody.
01:59:13.000 Everybody's thing is based on perception.
01:59:15.000 If a doctor's your age, that motherfucker was in college in the 80s.
01:59:19.000 Right.
01:59:19.000 So, what the fuck?
01:59:20.000 That's a long goddamn time ago.
01:59:22.000 So then he was taught the shit that, you know...
01:59:25.000 Ten years after the 70s.
01:59:26.000 People were idiots.
01:59:27.000 There were monkeys.
01:59:28.000 They had fucking bell bottoms on.
01:59:30.000 People were barely out of the caves.
01:59:32.000 Like in the 1970s?
01:59:33.000 If you committed to be a doctor, right?
01:59:36.000 And you learned everything that you learned.
01:59:39.000 Your whole identity is being based on what you know.
01:59:44.000 Right.
01:59:44.000 So if some new shit comes up or you find out that something that you were taught that's embedded in you is not true, then you're going to fight that new truth.
01:59:56.000 And stick to the old way because that fucks with your identity.
02:00:00.000 Right.
02:00:01.000 And who you are and who people perceive you to be.
02:00:03.000 There's also like peripheral knowledge that people have.
02:00:06.000 And I'm guilty of this too.
02:00:07.000 Everybody is, I guess.
02:00:08.000 But I'm guilty of it especially.
02:00:09.000 Like you get a little peripheral knowledge of something and you think you know, you understand what it is.
02:00:13.000 Right.
02:00:13.000 I was talking to a scientist, an actual scientist, and I was talking about eggs.
02:00:18.000 We were talking about, oh, that's got to be fun, growing your own chickens.
02:00:21.000 And he goes, well, what about the cholesterol?
02:00:23.000 Doesn't that lead to high blood pressure?
02:00:25.000 Are you taking in all that cholesterol?
02:00:26.000 I'm like, Jesus Christ.
02:00:27.000 You're a fucking scientist.
02:00:28.000 Don't you understand that dietary cholesterol barely even moves the needle on blood lipids?
02:00:35.000 There's a lot of sedentary lifestyle, genetics.
02:00:39.000 There's all sorts of factors.
02:00:40.000 But chickens, and eggs from chicken, They're not bad for you at all.
02:00:44.000 In fact, it's one of the most healthiest foods you can eat.
02:00:47.000 If you're saying that chicken eggs are bad for you, you're essentially saying that food is bad for you.
02:00:50.000 Life is bad for you.
02:00:52.000 They shit all over eggs.
02:00:54.000 They're idiots.
02:00:55.000 They shit all over eggs.
02:00:56.000 A healthy grass-fed chicken or a free-range chicken that's wandering around, Google egg might be the perfect food.
02:01:04.000 There's an article about eggs that might be the perfect food because...
02:01:08.000 Eggs have a ton of nutrients in them, and they're also essentially pretty ethical, like ethically free of any reservations.
02:01:16.000 Chickens just lay eggs.
02:01:17.000 You don't have to hurt them.
02:01:19.000 Are eggs really nature's perfect food?
02:01:23.000 Rotten eggs, how a perfect food can go bad.
02:01:25.000 What is this?
02:01:26.000 Is this the same article?
02:01:28.000 I don't think it is.
02:01:29.000 There's an article.
02:01:30.000 It doesn't matter.
02:01:31.000 There's an article that I read on how an egg is the perfect food.
02:01:35.000 If you can find that, it explains all the nutritional properties of an egg.
02:01:39.000 There's just so much shit from so many different sides.
02:01:43.000 Yeah.
02:01:44.000 All I learned to do is just trust myself.
02:01:46.000 So the doctor telling me this thing about salt, right?
02:01:50.000 Fucking idiot.
02:01:51.000 Was kind of like, all right, I could feel something wrong, right?
02:01:54.000 Right.
02:01:54.000 I could feel something wrong.
02:01:55.000 So that I honestly felt.
02:01:56.000 So when he said too much salt, and then I know eating out a lot.
02:02:02.000 Let me stop you.
02:02:03.000 When you said you could feel something wrong, what are you talking about?
02:02:05.000 What are you experiencing?
02:02:09.000 It's just a feeling like...
02:02:12.000 Like, in my veins or in my...
02:02:14.000 I could just feel...
02:02:16.000 Like, I pay attention to my body a lot, you know?
02:02:19.000 Alone?
02:02:19.000 You naked?
02:02:20.000 What are you doing?
02:02:21.000 No, you just...
02:02:22.000 After I ate, I could feel something.
02:02:26.000 It wasn't...
02:02:27.000 And it was just...
02:02:29.000 Just like, this is not...
02:02:30.000 I'm not supposed to feel this way.
02:02:32.000 And this was just from eating food?
02:02:35.000 Mostly after I ate.
02:02:36.000 I could feel it.
02:02:37.000 What if you would just carve up a fat steak ribeye with that fucking juicy fat dish?
02:02:41.000 I don't want a steak.
02:02:43.000 I want some elk.
02:02:44.000 I want some elk, homie.
02:02:45.000 Would you eat it, though?
02:02:46.000 Yeah, I told you I would.
02:02:47.000 Okay.
02:02:47.000 All right, we'll cook for you.
02:02:48.000 Because it's free range.
02:02:50.000 That's truly free range.
02:02:51.000 That's as free-range as it gets.
02:02:53.000 The new place, when we have the new place set up, I'm going to have one of these Yoder grills.
02:02:58.000 Like one of those pellet grills.
02:02:59.000 It'll be there.
02:03:00.000 I'm going to be able to grill on a spot.
02:03:01.000 We will document Ian Edwards' first meat consumption.
02:03:07.000 And how many years will it be?
02:03:08.000 Over 10 for sure.
02:03:10.000 Wow.
02:03:10.000 Yeah, over 10 for sure.
02:03:12.000 Over 10. Dude, you might go crazy.
02:03:13.000 You might become a hunter.
02:03:15.000 Ian's going to be like shooting shit off the roof of his fucking house.
02:03:18.000 It's hilarious.
02:03:20.000 Yeah, it's...
02:03:20.000 Free-range people.
02:03:21.000 This might be the egg thing.
02:03:23.000 Is that it?
02:03:23.000 Whole eggs are most...
02:03:24.000 That is it.
02:03:25.000 Whole eggs are among the most nutritious foods on Earth.
02:03:30.000 And so make that a little larger there so you can see.
02:03:32.000 One egg contains vitamin B12, 9% of the RDA, vitamin B2, riboflavin, 15% of the RDA, Vitamin A, 6%.
02:03:41.000 Vitamin B, 5, 7%.
02:03:43.000 Selenium, which is an important mineral, 22% of the RDA. Eggs also contain small amounts of almost every vitamin and mineral required by the human body, including calcium, iron, potassium, zinc, manganese,
02:04:00.000 vitamin E, folate, and many more.
02:04:03.000 A large egg contains 77 calories with 6 grams of quality protein, 5 grams of fat, Trace amounts of carbohydrates.
02:04:11.000 It's very important to realize that almost all the nutrients are contained in the yolk, while the white contains only protein.
02:04:17.000 It's a fantastic food source.
02:04:19.000 And here's the thing about eggs, man.
02:04:20.000 It doesn't hurt the chickens.
02:04:22.000 You're not hurting anything.
02:04:23.000 You're not harming anything.
02:04:24.000 If you have free-range chickens, you could just...
02:04:26.000 I know a lot of people can't, but you know what?
02:04:28.000 If people buy actual free-range chickens...
02:04:31.000 Or buy free-range chicken eggs.
02:04:33.000 You're buying eggs from an animal that's just going to lay eggs every day or every other day.
02:04:39.000 They don't get hurt.
02:04:40.000 And if you could figure out a way, like the ideal thing would be like communities having like co-ops.
02:04:47.000 We grow your own vegetables and you guys have like a chicken coop that everybody kind of helps take care of and these chickens roam around and eat bugs and worms and all the stuff they're supposed to do.
02:04:58.000 And then you eat those chicken eggs, and it's like you get animal protein, but you don't have to hurt anything.
02:05:04.000 Nothing has to die.
02:05:05.000 And if you're getting a free-range, a truly free-range chicken egg, it's super healthy.
02:05:10.000 And to say anything otherwise, I have to stop eating.
02:05:14.000 And now I can't watch your show.
02:05:16.000 I can't watch your movie.
02:05:17.000 I can't listen to you talk because you're not being honest.
02:05:20.000 No one's saying vegetables aren't healthy.
02:05:24.000 Vegetables are super healthy.
02:05:25.000 Beets are fantastic for you.
02:05:27.000 Kale is amazing for you.
02:05:28.000 Carrots, onions, all these different things that come out of the ground.
02:05:32.000 Yams, sweet potatoes, all that stuff is fantastic for you.
02:05:35.000 Nutrients, it's all important.
02:05:37.000 That's real food, but so is eggs.
02:05:39.000 Nothing wrong with eating eggs.
02:05:41.000 Like, my issue was I was just being a bad vegan.
02:05:43.000 Because you can be vegan and still eat a lot of crap.
02:05:45.000 Yeah.
02:05:46.000 So, and then, like, years of just eating crap is definitely going to affect you no matter...
02:05:51.000 Like, when somebody says they're vegan, like, what are you eating?
02:05:55.000 Because you could eat bad shit, too.
02:05:56.000 Oh, yeah.
02:05:57.000 So I just needed to cut back...
02:05:59.000 On the bad shit.
02:06:01.000 You know what I mean?
02:06:02.000 Yeah.
02:06:02.000 Like, stuff with sugar, like, you know, the vegan ice creams, and just a bunch of shit.
02:06:09.000 And so now I feel better.
02:06:11.000 It's like, the feeling that you were asking me about before, it's almost like when you have a headache, but your headache is in your body.
02:06:18.000 And most of the time, I could correlate it with when I was eating, and what I was eating.
02:06:22.000 So then now, just like, alright, you've been eating some crap.
02:06:27.000 I think sodium is good, salt is good for you, but if you probably take too much, it is bad.
02:06:32.000 Okay, but let me stop you again, because when you're telling me you're getting blood work done, you're getting your blood work done to check to see if you have high blood pressure.
02:06:39.000 You're not getting your blood work done where you're checking nutritional levels.
02:06:43.000 I think they were checking for everything.
02:06:44.000 But did they tell you you need more vitamin B or vitamin D or B12 or anything like that?
02:06:50.000 They took niacin.
02:06:51.000 They never said anything like that?
02:06:51.000 I got to call them.
02:06:52.000 I got to call them.
02:06:53.000 Okay.
02:06:53.000 A real, a doctor that's going to do a real nutritional profile of you is going to concentrate on your nutrient intake.
02:07:00.000 Right.
02:07:00.000 He's going to look at like, tell you to eat normal and then come in and do some blood work and then maybe they do it again in like six weeks or something like that.
02:07:07.000 Right.
02:07:07.000 And they're going to check a bunch of different things.
02:07:08.000 They're going to check your hormone levels, active, usable testosterone, a bunch of different things.
02:07:14.000 But what's really important is checking your vitamin levels.
02:07:19.000 People have this weird idea that you get everything you need from your diet.
02:07:25.000 You might.
02:07:26.000 You might get everything you need from your diet.
02:07:28.000 Depends on your diet.
02:07:31.000 It depends on whether or not you've checked.
02:07:33.000 Most people haven't checked.
02:07:34.000 You don't go to a doctor and check.
02:07:36.000 Go get yourself checked out.
02:07:38.000 Find out your nutrient levels.
02:07:40.000 Find out maybe you need some vitamin D. Maybe you need some B12 or B6. Maybe they can find that your body's low on niacin, or maybe they think that consuming more essential fatty acids would be very good for you.
02:07:53.000 But you can go to a really good doctor, a legit doctor, That goes over that stuff and is on the cutting edge of today's modern science and they can greatly enhance your ability to understand what impact your diet is having on your body.
02:08:08.000 Because if you think you're eating healthy and then they do like a triglyceride count on you and they do your blood sugar count.
02:08:14.000 Like Sam Harris, a friend of mine, just started, he tried to be vegan for a little while.
02:08:19.000 And he got his blood work done like on a regular basis because he's Smart guy and wants to check his body out, and he was like, dude, it's not good.
02:08:27.000 There's too much sugar, the glucose levels, there's a bunch of different factors.
02:08:31.000 I forget what particular it was, but he had to switch to eating wild fish.
02:08:37.000 So wild fish and then mostly vegan other than that.
02:08:40.000 Cut out the dairy, cut out the factory farming.
02:08:42.000 He figured it out.
02:08:42.000 Yeah.
02:08:43.000 I mean, I just think that there's a lot of bad in modern diets.
02:08:49.000 There's a lot of bad in food consumption.
02:08:52.000 We don't need to make stuff up.
02:08:53.000 We need to find out who's telling the truth.
02:08:55.000 And a doctor telling you that you need to cut your salt back, and that's what's giving you high blood pressure.
02:08:59.000 That guy's an asshole.
02:09:01.000 He's an asshole.
02:09:02.000 Whether he realizes he's an asshole or not, he's not paying attention to the latest shit.
02:09:07.000 He's some dude who's probably just like going to work...
02:09:10.000 He's just a doctor.
02:09:13.000 Trust me, I don't trust doctors per se.
02:09:16.000 You know what I'm saying?
02:09:17.000 Yeah.
02:09:18.000 Because a lot of them, you know...
02:09:20.000 They like everything else.
02:09:21.000 Yeah, they like everything else.
02:09:22.000 It's like trusting a comedian to be funny.
02:09:24.000 We all know some of them, they're just never going to happen.
02:09:27.000 Exactly.
02:09:28.000 And they call themselves comedians.
02:09:29.000 Or even if they are funny, they're being hacky and the audience doesn't know they got that shit from somewhere else.
02:09:33.000 Is that true, too?
02:09:33.000 Yeah.
02:09:34.000 There's a lot of hacky doctors out there.
02:09:36.000 It's just bad doctors, man.
02:09:38.000 There's a lot of really good ones, too, though.
02:09:39.000 There's good ones, too, yeah.
02:09:40.000 There's really good ones.
02:09:40.000 Yeah, you just have to find them.
02:09:41.000 How old's your doctor?
02:09:43.000 Uh, he must have been, like, maybe around 50. Fuck him.
02:09:50.000 I hope he's on a treadmill right now and he hears this.
02:09:53.000 He just starts Googling.
02:09:54.000 Hypertension.
02:09:55.000 I don't know if he looked like he took a treadmill.
02:09:57.000 He doesn't Google?
02:09:58.000 No, I don't think he looked like he does treadmills.
02:10:01.000 No?
02:10:02.000 What is this?
02:10:03.000 If you have high blood pressure, salt still matters.
02:10:05.000 New research examines the sodium hypertension mystery.
02:10:09.000 What is it saying?
02:10:11.000 So if you have high blood pressure, salt matters?
02:10:14.000 Receptor, the AT1R. Okay, what does it say?
02:10:18.000 ATR molecules in your cells and kidneys continuously.
02:10:22.000 Where is this coming from, first of all?
02:10:24.000 Cleveland Clinic.
02:10:24.000 And is this an actual study?
02:10:26.000 First of all, I don't like that doctor's face.
02:10:29.000 Recently discovered a possible explanation.
02:10:32.000 Teams study the hormone angiotensin.
02:10:36.000 Angiotensin helps regulate your blood pressure when it binds to a receptor called At-1R and turns it on.
02:10:43.000 The AT-1R molecules in the cells of your kidneys continuously regulate the levels of sodium in the blood.
02:10:50.000 This relationship can be overactive in some people, which leads to high blood pressure.
02:11:01.000 Hmm, okay.
02:11:16.000 So this is still important.
02:11:17.000 It's not a...
02:11:18.000 It's not the number one thing.
02:11:20.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:11:20.000 So it's not giving it to you, but if you have it, it may be a factor.
02:11:24.000 Correct.
02:11:24.000 So if you...
02:11:25.000 I wonder what their levels are they're talking about, though.
02:11:27.000 So when you're talking about the levels they did in that test when they were giving it to rats, and you're giving them 500 grams for a fucking rat.
02:11:33.000 Yeah, you could definitely die from eating that much salt.
02:11:36.000 Yeah.
02:11:37.000 I think that we just need more transparency and honesty when it comes to what people actually know versus what they're claiming to know.
02:11:46.000 When you're talking to a doctor, it's giving you shit advice.
02:11:49.000 I've talked to a ton of doctors and say, like, you can get everything you want from the average American diet.
02:11:54.000 There's no need to take vitamins.
02:11:56.000 You pee them out.
02:11:56.000 That's straight up bullshit.
02:11:59.000 I take B, I take K, take B12. If you take B12, you know you're probably not really vegan.
02:12:07.000 Fuck it.
02:12:09.000 I'm trying to be healthy.
02:12:11.000 I get it, man.
02:12:12.000 So I don't care where it comes from just as long as it's a good sauce and I feel good.
02:12:16.000 Baby eyelids.
02:12:17.000 Hey, man.
02:12:17.000 Babies should have defended themselves better.
02:12:21.000 Those babies are here for a purpose.
02:12:23.000 Do you have a main staple that you say if you're at home and you're cooking?
02:12:28.000 Is there a main thing you eat a lot of?
02:12:30.000 Like wild rice.
02:12:31.000 Wild rice.
02:12:32.000 Or quinoa pasta.
02:12:33.000 Quinoa's great.
02:12:34.000 And quinoa.
02:12:36.000 Quinoa's one of those rare plants that has a full amino acid profile, right?
02:12:40.000 Yeah.
02:12:41.000 It's like quinoa and hemp and a few other ones.
02:12:43.000 Yeah, there's a few of those protein-rich plants.
02:12:47.000 Like some plants that have a good amount of protein in them.
02:12:51.000 I put hemp seeds in my smoothies.
02:12:54.000 That's good.
02:12:55.000 And chia seeds.
02:12:57.000 Chia seeds are great too.
02:12:58.000 That also cleans your pipes out, if you know what I'm saying.
02:13:01.000 I put kale in them.
02:13:03.000 Do you use coconut oil at all?
02:13:06.000 Yeah.
02:13:07.000 Cook with it or use it for other shit.
02:13:10.000 It's good to add, like if you make smoothies and shit like that, it's good to add because the fats...
02:13:14.000 You should put some in there, yeah.
02:13:14.000 ...helps the absorption of the vitamins.
02:13:17.000 Alright.
02:13:17.000 I had to learn that one the hard way.
02:13:20.000 It's just adding MCT oil to...
02:13:25.000 It just makes it more nutritious, but you got to be careful because you will shit yourself.
02:13:30.000 You have to be careful.
02:13:31.000 You can't go too hard with the MCT oil.
02:13:33.000 You can get like a few tablespoons in, a big glass of, but anything more than that, there's just something about it.
02:13:40.000 Your body's like, just release the hounds!
02:13:43.000 It's like lubing you.
02:13:45.000 Your intestines.
02:13:46.000 A little bit.
02:13:47.000 But I think it feels like more than that.
02:13:49.000 It's not just like lube.
02:13:50.000 It's almost like your body's like, what are you eating?
02:13:53.000 Like, too much.
02:13:54.000 I'm not comfortable with this.
02:13:56.000 Let's go!
02:13:56.000 Let's go!
02:13:57.000 Let's go!
02:13:57.000 Everybody out!
02:14:00.000 Yeah.
02:14:01.000 There's nothing like diarrhea to change your mind on things.
02:14:04.000 Like if you had all the money in the world but constant diarrhea.
02:14:07.000 Diarrhea forever.
02:14:08.000 You could live like P. Diddy, like two bottles of champagne, one in each hand, on a yacht, but at any moment you could shit yourself.
02:14:18.000 That's not living.
02:14:19.000 It's not living.
02:14:20.000 It's not living.
02:14:21.000 It's not.
02:14:21.000 Nobody can accept that.
02:14:24.000 Yeah, if you're on that yacht...
02:14:26.000 Because you pay some friends, and it's hilarious.
02:14:31.000 And you're like, listen, I'm rich, we can hang out, but occasionally, I might shit myself.
02:14:37.000 And no snickering.
02:14:38.000 Yeah, you can't laugh at me, man.
02:14:41.000 You see it running down his Miami Vice shoes.
02:14:44.000 He's got those shoes with no socks on, those white loafers.
02:14:47.000 Dude's wearing, you see shit dribbling down.
02:14:50.000 Oh, you have to wear those diapers.
02:14:52.000 Yeah, you'd have to wear the diaper, but then everybody smells it.
02:14:54.000 The diaper doesn't keep the smell out.
02:14:56.000 I would keep a baby around me.
02:14:57.000 Oh, that's a good one.
02:14:58.000 Or a dog.
02:14:59.000 Keep an old dog that sheds himself.
02:15:01.000 I'm like, come on, baby.
02:15:02.000 Fluffy!
02:15:03.000 I gotta go change this baby.
02:15:06.000 Yeah, if you have, like, constant diarrhea, that feeling...
02:15:09.000 The only thing that makes diarrhea okay is that you know it's eventually going to go away.
02:15:14.000 Right?
02:15:14.000 Because if you just had to live forever knowing at any moment you could just shit yourself...
02:15:19.000 There's a lot of people that that's their reality, right?
02:15:22.000 People with, like, Crohn's disease and shit like that.
02:15:24.000 They're like constantly shitting themselves.
02:15:27.000 That's where like butt wipes are very important.
02:15:30.000 You can't be using like some cheap-ass Costco toilet paper.
02:15:34.000 What's the thing where you just fall asleep automatically?
02:15:36.000 Narcolepsy.
02:15:37.000 That's like narcolepsy of the ass.
02:15:40.000 What if you had both?
02:15:43.000 You just fall down all the time whenever you had to shit.
02:15:48.000 Fall asleep, just shit yourself.
02:15:50.000 And that would be what would happen.
02:15:52.000 You would have these ideas in your head.
02:15:53.000 Rich as shit.
02:15:54.000 Man, I just think I probably should get to the bed.
02:15:56.000 Fall asleep, wake up, covered in shit.
02:15:58.000 What the fuck?
02:15:59.000 It's like your body's trying to protect you from the fact that it knows you're going to shit yourself and it knows you can't handle it.
02:16:05.000 It's like some drunks become blackout drunks.
02:16:08.000 They get drunk so hard so often their body's like, look, we can't handle this and still be conscious.
02:16:13.000 If you're going to continue to do this, we're just going to start blacking you out.
02:16:17.000 That's hilarious.
02:16:18.000 So when you wake up, everybody's gone, and you could just get up and crawl home.
02:16:22.000 Yeah, you're just covered in shit.
02:16:23.000 Without being embarrassed.
02:16:25.000 Like you're in the middle of your kitchen.
02:16:27.000 I don't know if I'm gonna make it to the back.
02:16:29.000 You fall down.
02:16:31.000 Greg invited us over for dinner, but he shits himself a lot.
02:16:36.000 Do you want to go to Greg's house to eat?
02:16:39.000 Greg shows up.
02:16:40.000 You can hear his diaper crinkling.
02:16:43.000 He sits down.
02:16:48.000 If you're a narcoleptic, what's to stop you from banging your fucking head off the ground and dying?
02:16:54.000 That's a problem.
02:16:55.000 That's the scary part, right?
02:16:56.000 You ever seen someone faint?
02:16:58.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:16:59.000 I've known people that have epileptic seizures.
02:17:03.000 You don't know when those are going to happen.
02:17:05.000 And you have to stop them from hurting themselves.
02:17:09.000 I've seen that on a plane.
02:17:10.000 Some lady behind us just locked up.
02:17:14.000 She was just locked up.
02:17:17.000 Her body just was like...
02:17:19.000 It wasn't working.
02:17:21.000 And she was trying to fight it off and then they tried to calm her down.
02:17:27.000 I think they tried to get her to stop from swallowing her tongue.
02:17:30.000 I don't know how they did that.
02:17:31.000 You have to do that move.
02:17:32.000 There was a bunch of people that surrounded her.
02:17:33.000 She was a couple rows behind me.
02:17:35.000 Bunch of people jumped on the situation.
02:17:37.000 They were stopping from biting their tongue or swallowing it.
02:17:39.000 Yeah.
02:17:40.000 Fuck.
02:17:41.000 But it was like she locked up.
02:17:44.000 You could see when you turned around.
02:17:46.000 There was a commotion and turned around.
02:17:49.000 It was almost like she was wrestling with something.
02:17:52.000 Which is probably what they used to think, right?
02:17:54.000 Back in the day when someone, they thought you were possessed by the devil.
02:17:57.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:17:58.000 Right?
02:17:58.000 Like if you believe in the devil, you saw someone have a seizure.
02:18:01.000 Right.
02:18:02.000 Satan has upon her.
02:18:04.000 Yeah.
02:18:05.000 I wonder if they even bothered fixing people back then.
02:18:07.000 They might have just killed them.
02:18:08.000 Killed them or throw them in a dungeon.
02:18:10.000 Right?
02:18:10.000 If you're having a fucking lock-up seizure during the Inquisition, they'll be sure there's the devil.
02:18:16.000 Yeah, the devil's taking over you.
02:18:18.000 Dude.
02:18:20.000 That's the line that people don't like to cross.
02:18:22.000 The believing in the devil line.
02:18:24.000 Right.
02:18:25.000 What do you mean believing in it?
02:18:27.000 Talking about it.
02:18:28.000 You can talk about God all day.
02:18:30.000 As soon as you talk about the devil, you're like, oh boy.
02:18:33.000 He crossed the line.
02:18:35.000 People are afraid of that.
02:18:37.000 But people talk about God.
02:18:38.000 People talk about God.
02:18:39.000 But you usually can't have one without the other.
02:18:42.000 The devil is in the Bible.
02:18:44.000 So...
02:18:44.000 Yeah, but it shows the slow cultural evolution that we were talking about.
02:18:49.000 We've realized how ridiculous it is to think that some dude in a fiery pit with a pitchfork, unless you're one of the people that listens to this and still believes in that.
02:18:58.000 That's fine.
02:18:59.000 I'm not telling you right.
02:19:00.000 You might be right.
02:19:01.000 But...
02:19:03.000 For most people, that's pretty ridiculous, right?
02:19:05.000 The devil?
02:19:06.000 Yeah, he's gonna torch you in the fires of hell forever.
02:19:10.000 There's a lot of religious people that believe that shit.
02:19:12.000 Yeah, but it's a package deal.
02:19:14.000 See, that's what I'm saying.
02:19:14.000 Yeah, it's a package deal.
02:19:15.000 It's a weird thing that will allow people to not follow the package.
02:19:19.000 Like, you know, you don't have to buy the wax.
02:19:21.000 You could just get the armor all in the tires and you don't have to get the wax part.
02:19:27.000 But this is where the devil comes in.
02:19:29.000 The devil comes in Right.
02:19:44.000 Right.
02:19:54.000 Part of being a Christian is not just being good.
02:19:57.000 It's like you don't want to go to hell.
02:19:59.000 Right.
02:19:59.000 So I got to give you these stories of people in hell and paint this picture so that you make this choice that I want you to make.
02:20:08.000 So the devil is a very important thing in making people Christians.
02:20:14.000 Used to be, but now things are getting more and more slippery, because it's more and more ridiculous, because more and more people are making fun of Christianity, so now it's like you don't bring up the devil.
02:20:23.000 So if the president could go on television and say, God bless America, we are a nation governed by God, and everybody goes, yeah!
02:20:31.000 But if he says, we have located the devil, he's in Afghanistan, and we're sending troops to that area, people are like, what?
02:20:37.000 What the fuck are you talking about, man?
02:20:39.000 You can't say the devil's a real thing.
02:20:41.000 I know, I know.
02:20:42.000 It's like, uh...
02:20:43.000 The problem is the devil.
02:20:45.000 If Trump got on TV and started saying, when I said, grabbed him by the pussy, that was not me.
02:20:51.000 That was the devil speaking through me, and now I understand.
02:20:54.000 And everybody would clap.
02:20:56.000 The devil is in our heart and in our soul, and we need to stop him from ruining life on earth before Jesus returns and offers us eternal salvation!
02:21:06.000 Right?
02:21:07.000 You could almost imagine someone saying something like that, but not quite.
02:21:13.000 They would, like, I always think, like, you ever seen those court cases where somebody said they heard voices?
02:21:20.000 Yes.
02:21:20.000 And then they killed somebody.
02:21:22.000 Right.
02:21:22.000 Right?
02:21:23.000 Schizophrenia.
02:21:24.000 Schizophrenia.
02:21:24.000 So that person's on trial.
02:21:26.000 That person's on trial, and then everybody's looking at that person like they're crazy.
02:21:31.000 Right.
02:21:31.000 Right?
02:21:32.000 Right.
02:21:32.000 But before that, the people who testify against that guy testify, they have to put their hand on the Bible and swear to a God that they can't see.
02:21:43.000 To give testimony that this person is crazy.
02:21:45.000 What is the difference?
02:21:47.000 Yeah.
02:21:47.000 He said he heard voices.
02:21:49.000 You're swearing to something you can't see.
02:21:51.000 So help me God.
02:21:52.000 So help me God.
02:21:53.000 So what's the difference?
02:21:55.000 Yeah, you're swearing to an imaginary make-believe person.
02:21:59.000 Right.
02:21:59.000 That may or may not have created the entire universe in six days.
02:22:03.000 Yeah.
02:22:04.000 I mean, it might not be make-believe.
02:22:05.000 But this guy's crazy.
02:22:06.000 But this guy's crazy.
02:22:07.000 Yeah.
02:22:07.000 This guy's hearing voices telling him to kill some asshole.
02:22:09.000 How far off from this guy are you?
02:22:11.000 Yeah.
02:22:12.000 Have you talked to God?
02:22:13.000 I have a personal relationship with God.
02:22:16.000 I talk to God every night.
02:22:18.000 That was the thing about Bush that used to drive me crazy when he used to say he talked to God.
02:22:22.000 I'm like, listen, motherfucker, you might be talking at him.
02:22:24.000 Unless God's talking back, you're not really having a conversation.
02:22:27.000 Because people could be telling me, I talk to Joe Rogan every night.
02:22:30.000 Because you listen to the podcast.
02:22:32.000 You go, shut the fuck up.
02:22:33.000 God damn it, you're going to tell that story again?
02:22:35.000 You're not really talking to me, man.
02:22:37.000 You're talking at me.
02:22:38.000 I'm not there.
02:22:39.000 The last thing George did was talk to God every night.
02:22:42.000 That's the last thing he did.
02:22:44.000 Every evening, I talk to God.
02:22:46.000 He gives me my plans.
02:22:48.000 No.
02:22:48.000 I talk to Ian Edwards every evening.
02:22:50.000 I listen to his podcast about soccer.
02:22:52.000 Excuse me, I mean football.
02:22:54.000 And I fucking start screaming at him.
02:22:56.000 It's hilarious.
02:22:57.000 Yeah, you don't hear too many people saying they actually heard from God, because that's where it gets slippery.
02:23:03.000 You could talk to God all day long.
02:23:04.000 Because you'll sound crazy.
02:23:05.000 Yeah, you'll sound like a nut.
02:23:06.000 Yeah.
02:23:07.000 Well, I got a bit that I've been doing lately about how no one likes new miracles.
02:23:11.000 Yeah.
02:23:12.000 Yeah, you know that bit.
02:23:13.000 I don't even know if I heard that bit, but you're right.
02:23:16.000 We like old miracles.
02:23:17.000 We only believe the ones that happen in the Bible.
02:23:19.000 If somebody says...
02:23:21.000 This miracle happened to them.
02:23:22.000 They're crazy, but don't you believe in God?
02:23:24.000 Well, we get to Joseph Smith.
02:23:25.000 Joseph Smith, that's the bounds of incredulity, because that's the 1800s.
02:23:30.000 I think it was 1820. Was it 1820?
02:23:33.000 He found golden tablets that contained the last work of Jesus, and only he could read them because he had a magic seer stone that he would look through.
02:23:44.000 The angels came and took it away.
02:23:45.000 All of it was like crazy miracle stuff.
02:23:47.000 But it's like, oh, just long enough.
02:23:50.000 Just long enough ago.
02:23:52.000 People go, well, maybe it was still going on back then.
02:23:54.000 Right, yeah, yeah.
02:23:55.000 1820, maybe.
02:23:56.000 But not in 2017. No, you can't come with that.
02:23:58.000 No.
02:23:58.000 You can't come with that.
02:23:59.000 No.
02:24:00.000 Unless you got some super proof.
02:24:01.000 But now people are not going to believe that super proof anymore because of all this 3D rendering software and Adobe Photoshop.
02:24:08.000 Have you seen that thing?
02:24:09.000 We were talking about it yesterday.
02:24:10.000 No.
02:24:11.000 They're able to you could talk for 20 minutes and they'll take your voice and essentially over 20 minutes They find everything you've ever said all the noises that you can make in 20 minutes or 40 minutes 40 minutes actually they could do it in 20, but they prefer 40 so They can make you say words.
02:24:29.000 You've never said before like you could say Hey, Joe and Jamie, let's do a podcast and And they could say, hey, Joe and Jamie and Mike and Steve and Debbie, let's do a podcast.
02:24:39.000 And you'd be like, what the fuck?
02:24:40.000 I never said Mike and Steve and Debbie.
02:24:42.000 They can make your voice say those things with new computer software.
02:24:47.000 And they can't...
02:24:48.000 So what evidence is evidence now in court?
02:24:50.000 That's the point.
02:24:51.000 The point is it's getting so close to being impossible to tell if something's fake.
02:24:56.000 Like right now they can still kind of tell, like still a little clunky, but it's a few years away from being indiscernible.
02:25:03.000 You're not going to be able to tell.
02:25:04.000 They can manufacture anything.
02:25:06.000 Yeah.
02:25:07.000 It's crazy.
02:25:08.000 It's going to be really interesting because they're also going to be able to have people, like, you won't have to bring John Wayne back to life to have a John Wayne movie.
02:25:17.000 Right.
02:25:18.000 You could have a fake John Wayne.
02:25:19.000 You have hours and hours of John Wayne talking.
02:25:22.000 You take that, you throw it into a computer, and you could write a script.
02:25:26.000 Mm-hmm.
02:25:26.000 Like, you could write a script where John Wayne is in some new high-tech western movie.
02:25:31.000 Didn't they just do that in the last Star Wars, the Rogue One?
02:25:36.000 Didn't they do some shit like that?
02:25:37.000 Yeah, they added Princess Leia in it.
02:25:40.000 After she was dead?
02:25:41.000 They made her younger than she already was.
02:25:43.000 Oh, wow.
02:25:44.000 Same with one of the guys, the Admiral.
02:25:46.000 Was it good?
02:25:47.000 Spoiler alert, by the way.
02:25:48.000 You son of a bitch.
02:25:50.000 I haven't even seen that movie.
02:25:51.000 They had since Christmas.
02:25:52.000 Have you guys been paying attention to all the shit stirring that William Shackner has been doing online?
02:25:57.000 William Shackner is at war with social justice warriors on Twitter.
02:26:03.000 William Shackner is like shit posting online and getting these people mad at him and they're mad and they're saying that your whole show, Star Trek, was about social justice and here you are mocking social justice warriors.
02:26:17.000 There was an article in HuffPost You know, which is like the super liberal rag.
02:26:20.000 Like, should William Shackner's like abhorrent behavior or something like that erase his Star Trek legacy?
02:26:30.000 Like, literally, his bad behavior online.
02:26:32.000 Find that article because it's so ridiculous.
02:26:34.000 But he's essentially just fucking with people.
02:26:38.000 Calling them snowflakes and shit and people going nuts.
02:26:42.000 But...
02:26:43.000 How bad is he...
02:26:44.000 What's he saying?
02:26:45.000 Nothing that bad.
02:26:46.000 Nothing that bad?
02:26:46.000 They just want him to toe the line.
02:26:48.000 And they also want him to be, like, humble and grateful for being on Star Trek.
02:26:52.000 But he's like, hey, folks, it was just a TV show.
02:26:55.000 Lighten the fuck up.
02:26:56.000 And they're like, it's just a TV show with social justice as its primary values.
02:27:00.000 And here you are.
02:27:01.000 We expect you to become...
02:27:02.000 It was a TV show.
02:27:03.000 With that TV show.
02:27:03.000 He's an actor.
02:27:04.000 Yeah.
02:27:05.000 He's Canadian, too, by the way.
02:27:06.000 Oh, shit.
02:27:07.000 Yeah.
02:27:08.000 Fucking foreigners.
02:27:09.000 Now he's wrong.
02:27:09.000 Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
02:27:12.000 But I don't know what they're arguing about.
02:27:14.000 I can't scroll back far enough to find out what they're arguing about.
02:27:16.000 People just want to argue.
02:27:17.000 Oh yeah, for sure.
02:27:19.000 They think he's awful.
02:27:20.000 Remember when you didn't know that William Shackner was so awful?
02:27:23.000 Like, I saw people tweet that.
02:27:24.000 Like, all these weird social justice warriors, women.
02:27:27.000 Like, relax.
02:27:28.000 Why waste your time?
02:27:29.000 Don't you got shit to do?
02:27:30.000 People?
02:27:31.000 80-year-old man.
02:27:32.000 Yeah.
02:27:33.000 You think he's got all his marbles there?
02:27:36.000 Yeah.
02:27:36.000 He's 80. Yeah.
02:27:38.000 Isn't he?
02:27:38.000 Isn't William Shackner, like, 80?
02:27:39.000 Should be about.
02:27:40.000 It says, I'll let you, this is what, according to this article, this is what the fight was about.
02:27:45.000 It came from some show called Outlander.
02:27:47.000 Okay.
02:27:48.000 Outlander fans, the actor calling them snowflakes and social justice warriors, is intricate and fascinating in a way that only fandom beef involving an internationally famous cultural icon can be.
02:28:00.000 But to get the full picture, we have Take a Trip Back in Time.
02:28:05.000 Shackner, who acquitted with this guy, Hugen, H-E-U. This is the part right here.
02:28:11.000 Okay.
02:28:13.000 I believe the two stars of the show, Sam Hugin and Catriona Balfe, should date in real life.
02:28:22.000 Huh.
02:28:23.000 There's a group of fans, people that love the show, Shippers, they call themselves.
02:28:30.000 Fans of a show who want to see the two characters in a relationship.
02:28:33.000 They believe the two stars of the show, Sam and Catriona, should date in real life in a particularly hardline group of fandom...
02:28:51.000 Shatner trying to kick a group out of fandom For a more nuanced walkthrough,
02:29:09.000 there's an explanation, blah, blah, blah.
02:29:11.000 Fast forward.
02:29:13.000 Okay, he got in a fucking goofy war with trolls.
02:29:16.000 Yeah.
02:29:17.000 I hear some of the tweets and stuff.
02:29:19.000 Yeah, just don't engage.
02:29:21.000 Yeah.
02:29:24.000 Oh, it's just weird.
02:29:25.000 So he's...
02:29:25.000 What is it?
02:29:26.000 Hold on.
02:29:26.000 Back up.
02:29:27.000 Funny how an actress with an impressive resume is belittled by same feminists who say that an 86-year-old man telling the truth is a misogynist.
02:29:35.000 Is he 86?
02:29:37.000 I could believe that.
02:29:39.000 Is William Shackner 86?
02:29:41.000 Yeah.
02:29:42.000 Google it.
02:29:44.000 Take a guess.
02:29:45.000 How old do you think he is?
02:29:46.000 I bet that's right.
02:29:47.000 I'd say he's in his 80s.
02:29:48.000 That's great.
02:29:49.000 It's gotta be.
02:29:49.000 When you're that close to death, do you really give a fuck enough to argue with people on Twitter about who's dating who?
02:29:55.000 That seems weird.
02:29:55.000 He's 86?
02:29:57.000 Wow.
02:29:58.000 He's pretty good for 86. Yeah, he does.
02:30:01.000 But, like, what is that?
02:30:03.000 Like, why are they going back and forth?
02:30:07.000 Like, that seems like such a waste of time.
02:30:08.000 You're 86. How much time do you have?
02:30:12.000 When you're 86, if you're super lucky, you got 10 years.
02:30:15.000 Sometimes old people like to argue.
02:30:17.000 Yeah.
02:30:17.000 It gives them strength and energy.
02:30:19.000 It's like vitamins.
02:30:20.000 Mmm.
02:30:20.000 Yeah.
02:30:21.000 Yeah, it just gives them fucking something.
02:30:23.000 A fight, you know, that stirs them up.
02:30:25.000 A game.
02:30:26.000 Yeah.
02:30:27.000 Like a fucking sport.
02:30:28.000 Yeah.
02:30:29.000 That or Sudoku.
02:30:30.000 I mean...
02:30:31.000 Yeah, they get tired.
02:30:33.000 They just need that adrenaline rush.
02:30:35.000 Need anger.
02:30:35.000 Fueled.
02:30:36.000 Fueled by anger.
02:30:37.000 Anger is energy.
02:30:40.000 It's an adrenaline rush.
02:30:41.000 You don't dive into the fray with dorks, though.
02:30:45.000 That's where that whole Gamergate went crazy.
02:30:48.000 There was a bunch of women that wanted to...
02:30:55.000 There was a bunch of stuff going on with video games, but they were concerned with sexism in video games, and they were trying to censor video games, and they were bullying people that believed one way and bullying people that believed another way, and then it became a dispute, a nerdfight.
02:31:09.000 As soon as you get involved in any sort of nerdfight, no matter what side you're on, it's going to be some chaos.
02:31:13.000 There's a lot of angry people.
02:31:16.000 I just don't...
02:31:17.000 I can't even waste time doing that shit.
02:31:20.000 Do you fuck with video games?
02:31:21.000 I used to, but I put that shit away like 10 years ago.
02:31:25.000 What happened?
02:31:25.000 When you quit me?
02:31:26.000 I quit video games too?
02:31:27.000 It was just taking up a lot of my time.
02:31:29.000 All this fun stuff.
02:31:29.000 Fuck video games.
02:31:30.000 Fuck me.
02:31:31.000 Fuck blowjobs too.
02:31:32.000 It was taking up a lot of my time.
02:31:33.000 But then porn became accessible and then took that video game time away.
02:31:38.000 Damn, really?
02:31:39.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:31:39.000 How much video games and jerking off are you doing?
02:31:42.000 That seems like...
02:31:43.000 Can't do it both, man.
02:31:43.000 How could you have...
02:31:44.000 Gotta choose one.
02:31:45.000 How could you swap them, though?
02:31:47.000 I feel like your dick would fall off.
02:31:49.000 I just think it's just time-wasting.
02:31:51.000 Yeah.
02:31:52.000 Time-wasting and your hands are involved.
02:31:54.000 Eyes and hand coordination.
02:31:57.000 Have you ever fucked with virtual reality?
02:31:59.000 Have you ever tried out any of those...
02:32:01.000 Those porn?
02:32:02.000 No.
02:32:03.000 Just porn?
02:32:04.000 I mean just like trying those headsets.
02:32:08.000 Like Oculus Rift or any of that stuff.
02:32:11.000 HTC Vive.
02:32:12.000 You tried those?
02:32:12.000 Like I don't remember the games.
02:32:13.000 I've been to places where they have the samples and you could put it on and then try it out.
02:32:17.000 A long time ago?
02:32:18.000 No, that's recently.
02:32:20.000 I tried a game at South by Southwest.
02:32:24.000 I was trying to, like, the helicopter was over there, and I had the thing on, and I was, like, flying it and trying to move it, but I don't know what the name of the game was.
02:32:33.000 What did you do at South by Southwest?
02:32:34.000 I did a show there, and then I went to the, you know, the main convention center.
02:32:39.000 Let me ask you this.
02:32:40.000 Did they pay you to perform at South by Southwest?
02:32:43.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:32:43.000 They did.
02:32:44.000 They have to pay now.
02:32:45.000 Yeah.
02:32:46.000 Dude.
02:32:46.000 They were not paying.
02:32:48.000 Oh, they weren't?
02:32:49.000 For the longest time.
02:32:50.000 Oh, shit.
02:32:50.000 You would just go and it would be like you'd perform there.
02:32:53.000 It was a privilege.
02:32:54.000 I went there.
02:32:55.000 I went there twice.
02:32:56.000 I went there last year.
02:32:58.000 I was taping a show for Showtime.
02:33:01.000 Okay, Showtime paid you.
02:33:03.000 Showtime paid, and then I went this year, and it was just a show at a club, and they paid for that.
02:33:09.000 They flew me out, put me up, and paid for that.
02:33:12.000 I got an offer once, and what they offered me is if I came down there and did their thing, I would get a free pass.
02:33:19.000 That would allow me to go to all the shows.
02:33:20.000 It was worth like $1,500.
02:33:22.000 I was like, are you out of your fucking mind?
02:33:24.000 I could see them doing that.
02:33:24.000 But they don't pay for your hotel.
02:33:26.000 They didn't pay for your flight.
02:33:27.000 They just offered...
02:33:28.000 I was like, maybe this is just like one faction of this organization that thinks it's a good idea to offer that to people.
02:33:34.000 You know who's doing that?
02:33:35.000 Bumper Shoot.
02:33:35.000 What's Bumper Shoot?
02:33:36.000 It's a music festival.
02:33:38.000 Like, I've done Bonnaroo.
02:33:39.000 They pay you, they fly you out, and they put you up.
02:33:43.000 Bumper Shoot, it's in Seattle.
02:33:46.000 It's at the end of August going into, so August 31st going into September 3rd.
02:33:52.000 And basically what they're paying me covers my hotel room.
02:33:57.000 I have to pay to pretty much fly there.
02:34:04.000 But I go to this music festival.
02:34:06.000 That's ridiculous.
02:34:07.000 It is ridiculous.
02:34:08.000 Are you going to do it?
02:34:08.000 I'm just doing it for the fun of going to the music festival.
02:34:11.000 Why would you do that?
02:34:12.000 You're going to be in Seattle this Friday night with me!
02:34:15.000 Hey, alright.
02:34:16.000 That's right.
02:34:17.000 You'll have to go back for that bullshit.
02:34:19.000 Friday night, Paramount Theater, two shows.
02:34:22.000 No doubt.
02:34:22.000 Some tickets available for the second show.
02:34:26.000 JoeRogan.net.
02:34:28.000 Yeah, Seattle's the shit, though.
02:34:30.000 It's a fun place to perform, but I'm not going there for free.
02:34:33.000 That's stupid.
02:34:34.000 Because you know someone's making money.
02:34:35.000 They wouldn't ask you to go if it wasn't profitable.
02:34:37.000 Yeah, somebody's making money.
02:34:38.000 That's just gross.
02:34:39.000 That's what they were doing with South by Southwest.
02:34:41.000 Duncan did a A video explaining it when they offered it to him.
02:34:44.000 Hilarious.
02:34:45.000 He did a video with, you know that Hitler video where Hitler's like yelling out a bunch of shit in German in the subtitles.
02:34:51.000 And Duncan's subtitles were all about like South by Southwest.
02:34:55.000 Hilarious.
02:34:56.000 How to get people to work for free.
02:34:58.000 It's just, it's a fucking airlines.
02:35:00.000 It's run by a giant corporation.
02:35:02.000 Yeah.
02:35:03.000 Like, you can't pretend that's like some hippie sort of, you know.
02:35:07.000 No, they're making cabillions.
02:35:09.000 I mean, they must be.
02:35:10.000 It's giant, right?
02:35:11.000 And Bumper Shoes are making money.
02:35:13.000 So what are they doing?
02:35:14.000 I don't know.
02:35:14.000 They're cunts.
02:35:15.000 They're not giving it to the comics.
02:35:17.000 Motherfuckers.
02:35:17.000 Yeah.
02:35:19.000 Yeah, we need to come up with our own festival.
02:35:21.000 I've been thinking about this.
02:35:23.000 Oh, yeah?
02:35:23.000 Yeah.
02:35:24.000 Come up with something to do out here.
02:35:25.000 That would kill.
02:35:26.000 Yeah.
02:35:27.000 Yeah, that would definitely kill.
02:35:28.000 Just, like, run it through the Ice House.
02:35:29.000 Right.
02:35:29.000 Two shows every night.
02:35:31.000 Both rooms.
02:35:32.000 Little room and the big room.
02:35:33.000 Do it for, like, a week.
02:35:34.000 Yeah.
02:35:35.000 You know?
02:35:36.000 That would definitely kill.
02:35:37.000 Something crazy.
02:35:37.000 Yeah.
02:35:38.000 Right?
02:35:38.000 Yeah, but do it intimate.
02:35:41.000 Yeah.
02:35:41.000 Small, small venue.
02:35:42.000 Mm-hmm.
02:35:44.000 Think about it.
02:35:45.000 I wouldn't want to organize that, though.
02:35:46.000 And I wouldn't want to, like, say no to someone who sucks.
02:35:49.000 You know?
02:35:50.000 They're like, hey, so here's the schedule.
02:35:51.000 And I'm like, why is that guy on?
02:35:53.000 Yeah, that's the problem.
02:35:53.000 Yeah, that's the problem.
02:35:55.000 Like, I was talking to Al Madrigal about that.
02:35:57.000 He was talking about putting together that comedy network.
02:35:59.000 There's a couple people on this comedy network where he's like, hmm.
02:36:04.000 The fuck?
02:36:05.000 You know, you gotta be careful.
02:36:07.000 You know?
02:36:08.000 Gotta be careful putting together a network of people.
02:36:11.000 Yeah, because some people are either unaware or just belligerently don't care.
02:36:17.000 They just want to get on.
02:36:18.000 Yeah, and they'll try to force their way in.
02:36:19.000 They'll try to force their way in, yeah.
02:36:22.000 That's an issue with podcasts.
02:36:24.000 People try to force their way on your podcast.
02:36:26.000 They corner you.
02:36:27.000 I get that shit all the time.
02:36:29.000 People that just...
02:36:29.000 There's no way I would have them on.
02:36:31.000 They corner me and want to get on the podcast.
02:36:35.000 I'm like, is this what you think works?
02:36:37.000 If I wanted you to be on, I'd ask you.
02:36:39.000 They have nothing to lose.
02:36:41.000 Do you watch your act?
02:36:42.000 I want you to watch your act with me.
02:36:44.000 Let's go over it together.
02:36:45.000 Sit down there with a yellow legal pad and go, okay, what the fuck is that?
02:36:49.000 It's hilarious.
02:36:51.000 It's just the personality conflict is a real problem.
02:36:54.000 It's not even the material as much as who they are.
02:36:57.000 Some people are just not that aware.
02:37:00.000 They don't make good conversationalists.
02:37:02.000 You don't want to be around them.
02:37:04.000 Right.
02:37:05.000 Especially some people, based on their material, you're not a good conversationalist.
02:37:10.000 Yeah.
02:37:10.000 If you're talking about that...
02:37:13.000 Yeah, it's just, I don't know.
02:37:14.000 I get it.
02:37:15.000 I get it.
02:37:15.000 People want to promote themselves.
02:37:17.000 They want things to go ahead.
02:37:18.000 But sometimes, it's like, how much should you be promoting yourself?
02:37:21.000 How much you should be working on improving yourself?
02:37:24.000 And there was always those people that were really good promoters, but they didn't have a really good product.
02:37:27.000 Right.
02:37:28.000 But they have enough of a good product that the promotions sort of carry their product and the enthusiasm behind it got people into it.
02:37:35.000 I call that the hustle gene.
02:37:36.000 I wish I had more of the hustle gene.
02:37:38.000 Right.
02:37:39.000 You know what I mean?
02:37:40.000 But then I wonder how much of my creativity would I have to sacrifice for the hustle gene?
02:37:47.000 And there's a conundrum.
02:37:49.000 It seems like the people who really hustle...
02:37:53.000 Aren't as good as the most creative people.
02:37:56.000 Right.
02:37:56.000 That's what it feels like.
02:37:57.000 Yeah.
02:37:58.000 That's what it really feels like.
02:37:59.000 It does feel like that.
02:38:00.000 So that's the scary thing.
02:38:02.000 Especially the promotional gene.
02:38:03.000 Yeah.
02:38:04.000 The promotional gene's a weird one.
02:38:05.000 Right.
02:38:06.000 You know, those dudes that like early on open mic nights, they were starting their own open mic and putting up flyers and shit.
02:38:11.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:38:11.000 And you're like, what?
02:38:12.000 How are you so confident?
02:38:14.000 You know?
02:38:15.000 I'm not inviting anybody to open mic.
02:38:17.000 Get out of here.
02:38:18.000 Ugh.
02:38:19.000 Not at all.
02:38:20.000 When was the last time you showed up at an open mic and did a set?
02:38:23.000 Oh, shit.
02:38:26.000 I went back to...
02:38:27.000 I didn't do a set.
02:38:28.000 We went to Madison, Wisconsin to do the weekend at Comedy on State.
02:38:34.000 And then there's this pizza shop that has an open mic.
02:38:38.000 So after the show on, I think Thursday night, we went to the pizza shop and we put our names on a list, but then they ended the show before.
02:38:48.000 So I was like, I wanted to do it.
02:38:52.000 Was it too many people that signed up?
02:38:54.000 Is that what it is?
02:38:54.000 Is that what you're saying?
02:38:55.000 It was like, we got there, because we just did a show, we got there towards the end.
02:38:58.000 Oh, I see.
02:38:59.000 And then, you know what?
02:39:00.000 The few audience members were leaving.
02:39:02.000 That's the thing about open mics.
02:39:04.000 Like, some comics are new, and they're not that good.
02:39:06.000 So how much is an audience going to sit through?
02:39:10.000 You know, they might have sat through.
02:39:11.000 Five bad comics is a lot to sit through, and you might have sat through more.
02:39:15.000 Oh, yeah.
02:39:16.000 So then, they don't know who's coming up next.
02:39:19.000 Well, that's what's weird about the store these days.
02:39:20.000 Even the open mic night is packed.
02:39:23.000 Yeah.
02:39:23.000 Have you noticed?
02:39:24.000 Mm-hmm.
02:39:25.000 It's crazy.
02:39:26.000 Go to open mic night, there's a hundred people in the audience.
02:39:28.000 Yeah, man.
02:39:28.000 And you're like, whoa.
02:39:29.000 But they're putting some of the store comics on those shows, too.
02:39:32.000 Yeah, smart.
02:39:33.000 They're smart.
02:39:35.000 It is smart.
02:39:36.000 But there's something about a real regular open mic night.
02:39:40.000 It's just...
02:39:41.000 This is the first sparks from a piece of metal and a rock when you start a fire.
02:39:47.000 Oh, yeah, yeah.
02:39:48.000 You know that thing where people are trying to make fire?
02:39:52.000 Caveman comedy.
02:39:53.000 Yeah, it's like the first sparks.
02:39:55.000 And you see it, and you're like, ooh.
02:39:56.000 It makes me nervous.
02:39:58.000 Yeah, it is kind of nerve-wracking.
02:40:00.000 I used to do them a lot when I first moved out here.
02:40:04.000 Just to get stage time because I kind of refused to, like, audition to get in the comedy store at first.
02:40:10.000 I was like, I've already done TV spots, why gotta audition to get in the store?
02:40:15.000 Until I really got it and said, you know what, you need to get into the store and to the lab factory.
02:40:20.000 And then I was writing a lot, so I was like, eh.
02:40:22.000 But then when I realized it, the night I got into the store was like one of the best nights in show business for me.
02:40:29.000 Oh, yeah, right?
02:40:30.000 It's like validation.
02:40:31.000 Yeah.
02:40:31.000 You're a paid regular.
02:40:32.000 Yeah, and I was like, I can work out in 15-minute chunks, write material.
02:40:36.000 I call my manager.
02:40:38.000 I said, I just got into the store.
02:40:39.000 He's like, I've never heard you excited about anything.
02:40:42.000 What's the big deal?
02:40:44.000 I was like, don't you understand?
02:40:45.000 I could work out.
02:40:47.000 Yeah.
02:40:48.000 It's the store.
02:40:49.000 He didn't get it.
02:40:50.000 You're in Mecca.
02:40:51.000 Yeah.
02:40:51.000 That's what it is.
02:40:52.000 You know, when you pull into that parking lot and you get out and you go say hi to everybody, you wander through those hallways, you see ORs killing, you go into the main room, it's packed, someone's crushing, you go upstairs to the belly room, boom, someone's upstairs smashing.
02:41:05.000 It's like, you just stepped into the comedy Mecca.
02:41:08.000 Right.
02:41:09.000 To be a part of that?
02:41:10.000 To be allowed to be a part of that?
02:41:12.000 And it's funny.
02:41:13.000 There's so many up-and-coming young comics that want to get in there and look up to it.
02:41:19.000 Now.
02:41:20.000 It's just bananas.
02:41:24.000 It's interesting seeing it again, right?
02:41:26.000 We were talking about the other day what it used to be like and what it's like now.
02:41:29.000 This is the golden age.
02:41:30.000 Yeah.
02:41:31.000 I got in there when it used to be like and I was still excited because I just knew I'd be able to develop there.
02:41:37.000 Right.
02:41:37.000 Yeah.
02:41:38.000 So that was useful.
02:41:42.000 Because before I kind of wasn't taking comedy serious.
02:41:46.000 And then, like, I kind of just got tired of it and kind of fell out of love with it.
02:41:51.000 Well, you're doing a lot of writing, too.
02:41:53.000 Yeah.
02:41:53.000 I think when you do so much staff writing, you know, when you're showing up at that job every day and writing, it's like sometimes it takes away your motivation.
02:42:00.000 Motivation.
02:42:01.000 For sure, it did.
02:42:02.000 It did.
02:42:02.000 And then I, like...
02:42:05.000 For some reason, I said, it's time to get back, get into these clubs.
02:42:09.000 The Laugh Factory and the store, and my desire started increasing for stand-up.
02:42:16.000 You gotta put on a special, son.
02:42:17.000 Yeah, I know.
02:42:18.000 When are you gonna do one?
02:42:19.000 I gotta just shoot it myself, like you've been telling me.
02:42:21.000 Yeah.
02:42:21.000 Yeah, so hopefully by the end of the year, A few months to do it.
02:42:27.000 Definitely.
02:42:28.000 It needs to happen.
02:42:29.000 People need to see your set.
02:42:31.000 And then you need to throw it out and write new shit too.
02:42:34.000 It's like you're too good.
02:42:36.000 I'm sitting on stuff because I haven't used it.
02:42:39.000 But the only way to write new shit, like I have new shit, but I would have more new shit if I had a special and got rid of the older shit.
02:42:47.000 Well, you know what I want to do, man?
02:42:48.000 After I do my next Netflix special, I want to do like a Rodney Dangerfield type thing.
02:42:53.000 Right.
02:42:53.000 Where I bring up a bunch of what I think are the best up in Common Comics and have like a special.
02:42:59.000 Like, Rodney Dangerfield used to have those specials.
02:43:01.000 Yeah, on HBO. Yeah, I want to do something like that.
02:43:03.000 Right.
02:43:04.000 Well, I'll just host it.
02:43:05.000 Right.
02:43:05.000 Just bring people up.
02:43:07.000 That's my next move.
02:43:10.000 The Ice House or something would be cool.
02:43:12.000 Yeah, exactly.
02:43:13.000 Yeah, doing it at the Ice House.
02:43:14.000 Because Roddy Dangerfield used to do that at Dangerfields in New York City.
02:43:16.000 Yeah, at his own club.
02:43:18.000 Yeah, man.
02:43:19.000 You ever worked that place?
02:43:20.000 Yeah.
02:43:21.000 It's a shithole.
02:43:22.000 Yeah, it's not what it used to be.
02:43:24.000 It's fun, though.
02:43:25.000 It's a great old place.
02:43:26.000 They had great cheeseburgers.
02:43:28.000 They had the best cheeseburgers in New York City, man.
02:43:30.000 When you used to work there, you used to be able to get a cheeseburger.
02:43:32.000 I was excited to eat a cheeseburger there.
02:43:34.000 They had amazing cheeseburgers.
02:43:36.000 They're like...
02:43:36.000 Ground filet mignon or something like that.
02:43:38.000 Yeah back then stuff was simple like when I used to do a spot at the strip like on a Monday night after you pick the number out of the hat on a Friday and you get one Monday out of the month to perform and then me and the open micers were like let's go to Jackson Hole and eat a burger like at midnight yeah and just like you just felt so accomplished You know,
02:44:02.000 just doing this artist thing or this comedy thing.
02:44:07.000 Like you heard about Jackson Hole or just someplace and you're eating there.
02:44:10.000 We used to dream about, let's go to Carnegie Deli because all these comics used to sit there and eat and shit like that.
02:44:17.000 Just romantic New York comedy shit like that.
02:44:20.000 Well, I liked that at a store, too.
02:44:22.000 It's Carnies.
02:44:23.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:44:23.000 That little, in the Standard, going across the street for Standard late at night after shows.
02:44:29.000 Oh, you used to go to Mel's.
02:44:30.000 Yeah.
02:44:31.000 Yeah.
02:44:31.000 When their food was better.
02:44:32.000 Mel's is too sketchy, though.
02:44:33.000 Yeah.
02:44:34.000 Their food is sketchy.
02:44:35.000 I don't know if I can say that.
02:44:37.000 Standard is fantastic.
02:44:38.000 Standard is dope.
02:44:39.000 Standard has amazing food, and it's open super late.
02:44:41.000 You can get, like, real good food at, like, midnight.
02:44:43.000 Yeah.
02:44:44.000 All right, Ian, let's wrap this.
02:44:46.000 Motherfucker up.
02:44:46.000 All right, fam.
02:44:48.000 Sacramento.
02:44:49.000 We'll be there.
02:44:50.000 Sacramento on Thursday night.
02:44:51.000 Ian will be with me Thursday and Friday.
02:44:55.000 Sacramento on Thursday for two shows, and then fucking Friday we're going to do Seattle for two shows.
02:45:00.000 Then Saturday night I'm doing San Diego with Jerron Horton.
02:45:05.000 What are you doing Saturday night?
02:45:06.000 So, man, after we land, well, you're going to where?
02:45:10.000 San Diego.
02:45:11.000 San Diego.
02:45:11.000 I got to fly back that morning and then get on a flight in the evening to Australia.
02:45:16.000 I'll be there for like 13 days in Sydney doing a comedy store and some other places out there.
02:45:22.000 You're doing stand-up in Sydney?
02:45:24.000 Yeah, yeah.
02:45:24.000 Oh, okay.
02:45:25.000 Yeah, so I'll be there from like the...
02:45:28.000 7th through the 20th.
02:45:30.000 Wow.
02:45:30.000 Yeah.
02:45:30.000 Well, let me know.
02:45:31.000 I'll tweet that shit.
02:45:32.000 I'll let everybody know.
02:45:33.000 All right.
02:45:34.000 Cool.
02:45:34.000 All right, ladies and gentlemen.
02:45:35.000 We'll be back tomorrow with Ben Shapiro.
02:45:38.000 See ya.
02:45:38.000 Thanks, fam.
02:45:39.000 Thanks, brother.