The Joe Rogan Experience - August 10, 2017


Joe Rogan Experience #997 - Pauly Shore


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 23 minutes

Words per Minute

196.82648

Word Count

16,353

Sentence Count

1,803

Misogynist Sentences

31

Hate Speech Sentences

26


Summary

Joey Diaz is a comedian, actor, and podcaster from Los Angeles, California. He's been in the public eye for a long time, but he also happens to be a regular user of marijuana. In this episode, we talk about his experience with weed at Joey's show and how he managed to survive it. We also talk about how he feels about marijuana now that it's legal in California, and what he would do if he was high on it at the time of this recording. We hope you enjoy this episode and that it makes you think about what it's like to be high on marijuana. If you haven't tried it, you should definitely give it a try. It's not that bad, and it's definitely not as bad as you think it is either. Enjoy, and spread the word to your friends and family about this episode! if you like what you hear, we'd love to hear your thoughts on it! P.S. Don't forget to leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and tell us what you thought of the episode and what you think of it in the comments section below. We'll be looking out for new episodes in the next few days! Timestamps: 1:00 - How high is too high? 4:30 - How much weed do you like it? 6:20 - What kind of drugs do you smoke? 7:00 8:40 - How does it taste like? 9:30 11:15 - What is your favorite kind of pot? 12: What are you smoking? 15: What do you recommend? 16:00 + 16: What's your favorite part of weed? 17:00 & 17:40 18:20 19:00 Is it a good day? 21:00 What s your favorite type of marijuana? 22:00 How do you think you'd like to see me smoke it again? 25:00 Do you have a good one? 26:00 Can I smoke it more? 27:30 Is it better than that? 28:00 Are you smoking it again or not smoking it right now? 29:00 Would you like to smoke it in a bowl or not? 30:00 Should I try it again next week? 35:00 Does it feel like that's a little bit better? 32:00 I m not sure?


Transcript

00:00:09.000 Boom, and we're live.
00:00:11.000 Dude, you survived.
00:00:12.000 What's up, buddy?
00:00:12.000 I survived.
00:00:14.000 You survived the Joey Diaz experience.
00:00:16.000 You know, I got a text from Tom Segura.
00:00:22.000 Tom, right?
00:00:22.000 Yeah.
00:00:23.000 And I said, because he asked me, we were backstage about to go on stage at the main room, and he's like, I want you to do my podcast, blah, blah, blah.
00:00:30.000 And I'm like, awesome.
00:00:31.000 And then we were texting just about my schedule with him.
00:00:35.000 And then I'm like, okay, I'm going to go see Joey Diaz, dah, dah, dah, dah.
00:00:38.000 And he's like, dude, fucking gummy bears, watch out!
00:00:41.000 And I'm like, what are you talking about?
00:00:43.000 I didn't understand what he was talking about.
00:00:45.000 You know what I mean?
00:00:47.000 I honestly didn't...
00:00:48.000 I was like, whatever, I don't know what you're talking about.
00:00:50.000 And then once I got there, I smoke weed sometimes.
00:00:54.000 I don't smoke all the time, but I like to smoke weed sometimes.
00:00:57.000 But as far as the edibles...
00:01:00.000 Like Dean Gelber is like giving me some like pot stuff but like cookies and shit but then like he was eating these gummy bears and they're in a bag and I was like going fuck okay and he gave me just like he gave me just like an ear or some shit and that was it and then I was just like talking and then like literally I couldn't talk anymore.
00:01:21.000 I couldn't talk.
00:01:22.000 So you only ate a part of it.
00:01:23.000 I only ate half of one.
00:01:25.000 And I had to leave.
00:01:27.000 He's got some that are like 500 milligrams, which is just insane.
00:01:32.000 So you probably had half of that, which is like 250, which is fucking insane.
00:01:37.000 That's an insane amount of weed.
00:01:39.000 Unless you're an OG. Yeah, but I had done mushrooms once before when I was younger, and it felt like that.
00:01:46.000 Yeah, well, that's...
00:01:48.000 To the risk of repeating myself over and over again, which I do all the time, but when you eat marijuana, it's processed by your liver, and it produces something called 11-hydroxy-metabolite.
00:01:59.000 It's a totally different psychoactive substance that's four to five times more psychoactive than THC. So that's why it hits you like that.
00:02:07.000 And that's why people think they got dosed, because when you smoke pot, it's not psychoactive.
00:02:14.000 But when you eat it, it's processed by your liver.
00:02:16.000 It's something called a one-pass, and that's how it produces that.
00:02:20.000 Yeah, and I can't believe he let me drive home.
00:02:23.000 Like, seriously.
00:02:24.000 I mean, I could have, like, because when I was driving home, I was like, dude, I gotta go.
00:02:28.000 Like, I stopped.
00:02:28.000 I go, I can't answer your questions.
00:02:30.000 And I said, let's, I have to go.
00:02:32.000 And I left, and I drove out, and he, like, he let me drive.
00:02:35.000 Like...
00:02:35.000 You gotta understand, Joey Diaz found his mother dead on the kitchen floor when he was on acid when he was 13. He would let you fly a fucking plane on those things.
00:02:44.000 He doesn't give a shit.
00:02:45.000 He's just like, you'll figure it out, cocksucker.
00:02:50.000 But anyways...
00:02:51.000 So when did it hit you?
00:02:52.000 Like, you did a podcast, like how deep into it?
00:02:55.000 Halfway, probably 15 minutes into it.
00:02:57.000 And I couldn't speak.
00:02:58.000 I had to stop.
00:03:00.000 Like, I couldn't speak, so I had to stop.
00:03:02.000 Did he ever release the podcast?
00:03:04.000 I don't know.
00:03:05.000 I think he did the audio, but not the video.
00:03:07.000 Oh.
00:03:07.000 I told him not to do the video because I couldn't answer any questions.
00:03:11.000 Yeah, but wouldn't that be funny?
00:03:13.000 Yeah, I guess.
00:03:13.000 I don't know.
00:03:14.000 I don't know.
00:03:14.000 I would like to see myself that fucked up where I can't even talk.
00:03:19.000 Mmm.
00:03:20.000 Yeah, those edibles are fucking terrifying.
00:03:22.000 They're goddamn terrifying.
00:03:24.000 He was eating them like, they're like, you know, Skittles or some shit.
00:03:28.000 He's a different type of human.
00:03:29.000 Well, there's a lot of those people now because edibles and marijuana has been legal for so long.
00:03:35.000 There's so many medical patients in California that you get these people that have insane tolerances.
00:03:40.000 And they're just doing dabs and eating cookies and just like, Jesus!
00:03:45.000 They go down a hole.
00:03:47.000 You know, the whole marijuana movement and that whole thing is so much different than when I was growing up.
00:03:53.000 You know, when I grew up, we used to like, you know, smoke it.
00:03:56.000 We'd go to the beach and we'd put a towel over us and we'd hide it.
00:04:00.000 Now, like last night, I was at the Funny or Die party and it was the 10th anniversary and I was just walking around.
00:04:07.000 It just smells like weed everywhere.
00:04:08.000 Yeah.
00:04:09.000 It's just very normal now.
00:04:11.000 I don't know, that's just the way.
00:04:14.000 I think it's good because it's just like drinking is normal.
00:04:17.000 You walk by the bar or the comedy store, you see a bunch of people having a couple of drinks.
00:04:20.000 There's nothing wrong with that.
00:04:21.000 Yeah, it's all good.
00:04:22.000 But thanks for having me.
00:04:24.000 My pleasure.
00:04:24.000 So how did you, this impression you're doing of this White House character, what's his name again?
00:04:31.000 Stephen Miller, yeah.
00:04:32.000 First of all, Everyone's doing Sean Spicer.
00:04:36.000 They weren't until he got fired or all these different people.
00:04:39.000 No, they did.
00:04:39.000 Oh, is it Scaramucci?
00:04:41.000 Yeah, well, that too.
00:04:42.000 And Sean Spicer.
00:04:43.000 But Melissa McCarthy was doing Sean Spicer.
00:04:45.000 Yeah, she killed it.
00:04:45.000 Yeah, it's hilarious.
00:04:47.000 You know what's funny?
00:04:48.000 Trump thought that it made him look weak that a woman was doing an impression to him.
00:04:54.000 A woman should go and do an impression of Trump now because of that?
00:04:58.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:05:00.000 No, I mean, I don't know.
00:05:01.000 I mean, I think that, you know, I did a special, what was it?
00:05:04.000 I don't know, like, I think it was like 2012 for a showtime called Politics where I went to D.C. and I did stand-up in D.C. and I interviewed all politicians.
00:05:14.000 I love politicians.
00:05:15.000 Like, that's all I watch when I come home at night.
00:05:17.000 All I watch is CNN, MSN, and Fox.
00:05:20.000 Really?
00:05:20.000 Just because that's it.
00:05:21.000 Because I'm in shock.
00:05:22.000 And I can't believe it.
00:05:24.000 No, I just go back and forth.
00:05:25.000 That there's so many fucked up things that are going on in the world.
00:05:28.000 The whole North Korea thing is insane.
00:05:30.000 It's scary.
00:05:30.000 It's fucking insane.
00:05:32.000 Well, what's scary is that Donald Trump is saying shit like fire and fury that the world has never known.
00:05:38.000 Like, Jesus, dude.
00:05:39.000 Like, this isn't a movie.
00:05:40.000 This is real life.
00:05:41.000 Yeah.
00:05:42.000 But I mean, this North Korean guy's fucking nuts.
00:05:45.000 He is fucking nuts.
00:05:45.000 He's fucking nuts.
00:05:46.000 It's like, dude, stop shooting fucking missiles in the fucking...
00:05:50.000 This isn't like a playpen thing.
00:05:52.000 He just keeps shooting missiles in the ocean all the time like he's like a kid or some shit.
00:05:57.000 And he can't...
00:05:58.000 It's just...
00:05:58.000 I don't know.
00:05:59.000 It's just...
00:06:00.000 Well, I think Guam is only like 2,000 miles away from North Korea or something, like real close.
00:06:07.000 So they're talking about him possibly bombing Guam.
00:06:11.000 And that's what they're saying now.
00:06:12.000 Yeah, no, I've been watching it.
00:06:14.000 But that would be a death sentence.
00:06:16.000 I mean, if we decided to attack North Korea, it would be a death sentence to them.
00:06:21.000 And then also I heard, because I know Dennis Rodman.
00:06:25.000 You know, I know Dennis Rodman.
00:06:26.000 Do you?
00:06:27.000 Did you talk to him when he went over there?
00:06:28.000 Well, I know, I don't want to get too, too into it, but I know that he goes over there a lot.
00:06:35.000 Yeah.
00:06:35.000 And he meets with Kim Jong-un.
00:06:37.000 They play basketball or something?
00:06:38.000 They just fucking get drunk and, I don't know, they go on jet skis or some shit.
00:06:43.000 Really?
00:06:43.000 He likes Dennis Rodman, so he brings him out.
00:06:48.000 But from what I heard is that Kim Jong-un really loves Donald Trump.
00:06:52.000 Like, you know what I mean?
00:06:53.000 He loves America, but he's kind of acting like he doesn't love America.
00:06:58.000 Like he loves the American way.
00:07:00.000 Look at that picture.
00:07:01.000 Yeah.
00:07:04.000 Yeah.
00:07:04.000 So, my point is, is I think, I really think that if Donald Trump went over there to meet with a guy, I think that would appease him and just chill him the fuck out.
00:07:17.000 I think.
00:07:17.000 That's just my opinion.
00:07:19.000 Maybe you should be like a liaison.
00:07:21.000 Yeah, see, there you go.
00:07:24.000 But he gets, you know, he goes over there and hangs out with him because the Kim Jong-un kid loves...
00:07:31.000 He's a big basketball fan, right?
00:07:34.000 Yeah, he loves America.
00:07:35.000 And that's just kind of like a weird, you know, there's no...
00:07:40.000 What's the word?
00:07:41.000 There's no...
00:07:44.000 I don't know.
00:07:45.000 Communication.
00:07:45.000 Communication.
00:07:46.000 They're not communicating right, you know?
00:07:48.000 Yeah.
00:07:48.000 Well, there's language barrier, obviously, but isn't he young?
00:07:51.000 Isn't Kim Jong-un, like, in his 30s?
00:07:53.000 How old is he?
00:07:54.000 Yeah, he's pretty young.
00:07:55.000 I mean, imagine running a military dictatorship in your 30s, and he's already murdered a gang of people.
00:08:01.000 Yeah.
00:08:01.000 And the thing that's so crazy about the whole thing is that, like, you think of ISIS, and you think of that whole, you know, how those people, like...
00:08:10.000 They don't care if they're going to die.
00:08:12.000 And I think that he's trained his people.
00:08:14.000 You see all these on CNN, all these marching soldiers.
00:08:17.000 I think those guys are ready to die.
00:08:19.000 Well, if you lived in a shithole like North Korea, where every day you're under the oppressive boot of a military dictatorship, maybe you'd be ready to die, too.
00:08:27.000 It's either escape to South Korea or die.
00:08:29.000 Yeah.
00:08:30.000 I think what should happen is I think Trump should hire Dennis Rodman and put a tracking device on him, and they're jet skiing out in fucking the ocean, drinking and shit, and then seal Team Six.
00:08:41.000 Comes in and fucking takes Kim Jong-un and flies into America and then gives all the North Korean internet and sets them free.
00:08:49.000 No?
00:08:50.000 This is like a movie, dude.
00:08:51.000 Don't you think?
00:08:52.000 You should get together with Stephen Baldwin.
00:08:55.000 You guys can do an amazing movie.
00:08:57.000 I just think that...
00:08:59.000 There's probably a way to chill everything out.
00:09:03.000 There probably is a way to chill everything out.
00:09:05.000 This is not the way.
00:09:06.000 Like launching test missiles and saying fire and fury and all that shit.
00:09:10.000 Not cool.
00:09:10.000 That's not chilling anything out.
00:09:12.000 But, you know, I don't understand what the conflict is about in the first place.
00:09:15.000 I'm not exactly sure what everybody's angry about.
00:09:17.000 I think because they think that we're going to bomb them.
00:09:20.000 But why are we going to bomb them?
00:09:21.000 That's what I don't understand.
00:09:22.000 Because I think that we did years ago, right?
00:09:24.000 Sure, North Korea.
00:09:25.000 Well, North Korea.
00:09:26.000 No, Hiroshima was Japan.
00:09:27.000 Well, the Asians, I think.
00:09:30.000 I don't know the details.
00:09:31.000 It's a different part of the world, but that's cool.
00:09:34.000 They'll be super psyched that you conflate the two of them.
00:09:38.000 Yeah.
00:09:39.000 We did horrible things during the Korean War to the North Koreans.
00:09:45.000 I mean, that's literally the cause of all of this.
00:09:47.000 All the anger.
00:09:49.000 But that's when North Korea and South Korea were split and North Korea went communist.
00:09:56.000 It's all a byproduct of that.
00:09:59.000 You could read about it.
00:10:01.000 Actually, there's a really good book called Dear Reader from Michael Malice.
00:10:05.000 He's a guy who was on my podcast.
00:10:07.000 The history of that part of the world is really fucked up.
00:10:09.000 But it's interesting because you have North Korea, and then below you have South Korea.
00:10:14.000 South Korea, you have a thriving economy, amazing electronics, Samsung, they make all kinds of great shit over there.
00:10:21.000 Nice spas, probably.
00:10:22.000 Yeah, a lot of plastic surgery.
00:10:25.000 And then North Korea's just right next door to them.
00:10:29.000 Terrible dictatorship.
00:10:30.000 It's fucked up, man.
00:10:32.000 Well, no president has been able to deal with it.
00:10:35.000 No.
00:10:35.000 And probably won't be able to.
00:10:37.000 I mean, how do you resolve that?
00:10:38.000 One of the things that Malice was telling me that makes it so fucked up is that everybody has to rat on everybody else.
00:10:45.000 Like, say if you and I were working together, we would have to go somewhere and tell someone what each one of us did wrong.
00:10:52.000 Oh, wow.
00:10:53.000 Maybe you didn't cry hard enough when somebody died, or maybe you weren't excited enough when something good happened, you didn't cheer loud enough, and they'll rat you out for that, and then you have to be accountable.
00:11:06.000 They have a culture of rats.
00:11:08.000 Everybody's ratting everybody out.
00:11:10.000 Sounds fun.
00:11:13.000 We don't realize how lucky we are, you know, to live in America.
00:11:17.000 Dude, it's one of the reasons why people complain so much about stuff.
00:11:21.000 It's because we're so soft.
00:11:22.000 Any slight little thing that's wrong.
00:11:25.000 Have you ever been to prison before?
00:11:26.000 No.
00:11:27.000 Never?
00:11:27.000 Well, I went to Alcatraz, but just to visit.
00:11:30.000 Visit, yeah.
00:11:31.000 Never been arrested.
00:11:31.000 Because I always think, like...
00:11:33.000 Spending time in prison would make you appreciate just the simple things.
00:11:37.000 Because you always see people that are incarcerated and they get out and they see the sunlight and they're like, oh my god, this is fucking awesome.
00:11:45.000 And part of me is I think everyone should maybe go to prison for a month.
00:11:50.000 Just to kind of...
00:11:53.000 Get their normal freedoms taken away from them.
00:11:57.000 I'm actually doing a benefit, and I was going to ask you if you want to do it.
00:12:00.000 I don't know if you're in town at the Comedy Store for the Innocence Project.
00:12:03.000 Are you familiar with them?
00:12:04.000 Yeah, I am.
00:12:05.000 Yeah, so I'm doing it on August 27th.
00:12:08.000 These DNA to release people that are incarcerated, that are innocent?
00:12:11.000 Yeah, so if you want to do it, everyone's doing it already.
00:12:14.000 It's August 27th, and it's for Barry Sheck and that whole team of people that...
00:12:20.000 That exonerate, you know, people that go to prison for crimes they didn't commit.
00:12:25.000 You know that whole thing, right?
00:12:26.000 Yeah, well, I'm flying in from D.C. Oh, that's on Sunday.
00:12:31.000 Yeah.
00:12:31.000 Yeah.
00:12:32.000 Yeah, I can do that.
00:12:33.000 Yeah, that'd be great.
00:12:34.000 Yeah, I'll do it.
00:12:35.000 Yeah, that'd be great.
00:12:35.000 I got a great lineup.
00:12:37.000 Everyone's on it already, but I was going to ask you.
00:12:39.000 I'm sure you'd be into that.
00:12:40.000 Yeah, I'm in.
00:12:41.000 I'm in D.C. the night before.
00:12:43.000 Oh, cool.
00:12:43.000 I'm flying in.
00:12:44.000 But yeah, so I want to raise money for them.
00:12:46.000 Yeah, it's a good move.
00:12:47.000 Because I want to give money back to these guys.
00:12:49.000 Because when they get out of jail, they don't have anything.
00:12:52.000 Yeah.
00:12:52.000 And they're not given anything.
00:12:54.000 Right.
00:12:54.000 They're given like a dollar.
00:12:55.000 You know what I mean?
00:12:56.000 I know, and then they have to somehow or another figure out how to sue to get some compensation for the fact they were wrongly imprisoned.
00:13:03.000 How would you like to be in prison for 20 years knowing you had nothing to do with it?
00:13:07.000 And there's people that are in prison for killing their mom and stuff like that.
00:13:10.000 Imagine someone kills your mom, it's not you, and then you get arrested and go to jail for it.
00:13:15.000 Yeah.
00:13:15.000 Not cool, bro, but the fruit person at the end of the bar is pretty cool.
00:13:19.000 You gonna eat here?
00:13:20.000 Just out of a small thing of fruit.
00:13:21.000 Okay, you're okay?
00:13:22.000 Did you see...
00:13:23.000 Your blood sugar's so low, you're like, I can't wait 15 minutes.
00:13:28.000 No, but did you see the fruit man at the corner?
00:13:30.000 No, I did not.
00:13:31.000 There's a fruit man?
00:13:32.000 There's like a little Mexican fruit guy who chops up the fruit.
00:13:35.000 Don't tell ICE. Sorry, yeah.
00:13:38.000 He'll pull that guy across the border.
00:13:39.000 Bring him back.
00:13:41.000 Yeah.
00:13:42.000 So, how did you, what was the thought process behind doing an impression of this dude?
00:13:47.000 It's become viral.
00:13:49.000 It's over a million hits now, right?
00:13:51.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:13:52.000 It's like at a million seven.
00:13:54.000 Wow.
00:13:54.000 Around that, yeah.
00:13:55.000 And it's caught on.
00:13:57.000 It's just, I don't know.
00:14:00.000 You've been doing this.
00:14:01.000 You've been doing this a long time.
00:14:03.000 Who did the makeup for you?
00:14:04.000 How'd they do up your hair?
00:14:05.000 Funny or die, yeah.
00:14:07.000 Um, you know the business.
00:14:09.000 Statue of Liberty facts.
00:14:10.000 Yeah, you just do these things and certain things catch on, certain things don't catch on, and this thing caught on, so I don't know.
00:14:18.000 I was pretty stoked.
00:14:19.000 Is that him back in the day?
00:14:22.000 That's him now.
00:14:23.000 That's him now?
00:14:24.000 Yeah.
00:14:24.000 He doesn't look like that now, though.
00:14:27.000 He's way more bald than that, no?
00:14:29.000 Yeah.
00:14:30.000 He's, um...
00:14:32.000 Um, but yeah, no, it was cool.
00:14:34.000 It was, uh...
00:14:37.000 I've done stuff with them before.
00:14:39.000 I actually did an Anthony Weiner sketch, too.
00:14:41.000 I don't know if you saw that one.
00:14:42.000 No, I didn't.
00:14:43.000 Yeah, it's pretty cool.
00:14:44.000 I did that.
00:14:44.000 I played Anthony Weiner.
00:14:45.000 I did that about four or five, six months ago.
00:14:48.000 And then this thing came up.
00:14:50.000 They just hit me up.
00:14:51.000 And then, you know, I do stuff for Funny or Die sometimes.
00:14:54.000 And this thing caught on and it went everywhere.
00:14:56.000 And I was on CNN and, you know, even political...
00:15:05.000 Political sites picked it up the hill and all these different places picked it up, so I don't know.
00:15:10.000 I just did it.
00:15:12.000 You know what I mean?
00:15:13.000 You just do shit and you don't know what the fuck.
00:15:16.000 The Wiener thing is funny.
00:15:18.000 I saw the Wiener thing too.
00:15:19.000 I think Wiener's a comic.
00:15:21.000 He's hilarious.
00:15:23.000 I think he's a comic.
00:15:24.000 He just doesn't know it.
00:15:25.000 I mean, he's still committed to being the...
00:15:28.000 I mean, he tried to be the mayor and he can't...
00:15:29.000 If it wasn't for the latest scandal, he would have come close.
00:15:34.000 100%.
00:15:34.000 Yeah.
00:15:35.000 And did you see his documentary?
00:15:37.000 Yes.
00:15:38.000 Great.
00:15:38.000 It's amazing.
00:15:39.000 It's so good.
00:15:39.000 It's amazing.
00:15:40.000 It's so fucked up.
00:15:41.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:42.000 So you see, I'm lasting okay.
00:15:44.000 So you didn't give me any edibles.
00:15:46.000 I'm not going to give you any edibles.
00:15:46.000 At this point in the Joe Diaz, I was like, dude, I got to go.
00:15:50.000 He kept asking me questions.
00:15:51.000 I couldn't answer anything.
00:15:52.000 No, I wasn't going to do that to you.
00:15:54.000 Imagine if everybody that I know did that to you.
00:15:57.000 Every time Segura did it to you, I did it to you, Red Band does it to you.
00:16:01.000 But I've heard everyone kind of can't handle it.
00:16:03.000 Most people.
00:16:04.000 Well, the numbers that Joey puts up, no.
00:16:07.000 Very few humans can handle it.
00:16:08.000 But don't you think, like, back to Anthony Weiner, I think that guy should have been a comic.
00:16:13.000 Like, he's got this idea about what's good and what's bad, but he's also a pervert.
00:16:16.000 And I'm like, the guy's a comic.
00:16:18.000 He's a great speaker.
00:16:20.000 He's hilarious.
00:16:21.000 He's hilarious.
00:16:22.000 He obviously loves pussy.
00:16:23.000 Obviously.
00:16:24.000 He loves pussy.
00:16:25.000 I mean, he's a fucking character.
00:16:27.000 I mean, I just think that he's trapped in that suppressed world of being a politician where he obviously doesn't fit those standards.
00:16:37.000 There's those standards of behavior that they demand of you that are all bullshit anyway, but he's too fucked up.
00:16:43.000 He's too crazy.
00:16:44.000 I think the more fucked up things that people find out about the politicians, the more popular they become.
00:16:50.000 Some of them.
00:16:51.000 I mean, right?
00:16:52.000 Yeah.
00:16:52.000 If he could be clean about it, if he could come clean about all of it.
00:16:56.000 But still, in the day of Trump, things are way different, right?
00:17:02.000 Because Trump got elected a month after that grab-them-by-the-pussy thing came out.
00:17:06.000 Everybody thought that was going to sink his boat.
00:17:08.000 Like, that's it.
00:17:08.000 And he still wins.
00:17:10.000 So I think the world is different, but I don't think Wiener has the constitution that Trump has.
00:17:15.000 Trump, say what you want about him, but the motherfucker has Teflon for skin.
00:17:19.000 Insane.
00:17:20.000 Things just bounce right off him.
00:17:21.000 He doesn't give a shit.
00:17:21.000 He's just like...
00:17:22.000 Yeah, insane.
00:17:23.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:17:24.000 I know him from back in the day.
00:17:28.000 Yeah?
00:17:28.000 Yeah.
00:17:29.000 I mean, you have to understand, I've been doing this.
00:17:31.000 How long have you been doing it?
00:17:31.000 30 years?
00:17:32.000 29. Yeah, so I've been doing it 30 years.
00:17:34.000 When did you come to this store?
00:17:35.000 What year?
00:17:36.000 94. 94. Yeah, so you were there, is that when you came to the store?
00:17:41.000 Yeah.
00:17:41.000 94?
00:17:42.000 94, I became a paid regular.
00:17:44.000 Wow.
00:17:45.000 Yeah, so I was doing Spring Break for MTV. When was it?
00:17:52.000 It was like 89, 90, 91, 92. And it was, you know, obviously the biggest thing in the world because it was live and there was hundreds of thousands of kids.
00:18:01.000 Oh yeah, it was giant.
00:18:01.000 I did Spring Break in 2000 for MTV. Okay.
00:18:05.000 Right when it was sort of like on the way out.
00:18:08.000 Right.
00:18:09.000 Yeah.
00:18:10.000 And we did it, and it was Hawaiian Tropics were the biggest thing in the world, all the girls.
00:18:18.000 And Fabio was there.
00:18:21.000 And John Lovitz was there.
00:18:24.000 Vince Neil was there.
00:18:25.000 Kennison was there.
00:18:26.000 Rodney Dangerfield was there.
00:18:27.000 And Donald Trump was there.
00:18:29.000 Because Donald Trump used to go to the Hawaiian Tropic parties that Ron Rice used to throw after the spring break things.
00:18:38.000 And Donald Trump was...
00:18:39.000 I knew him back then.
00:18:41.000 And then I saw him probably about a couple times at the Playboy Mansion.
00:18:45.000 The last time I saw him at the Playboy Mansion, I think, was about four years ago.
00:18:50.000 And he was just there.
00:18:51.000 Just hanging.
00:18:52.000 Just hanging like Bill Maher, you know what I mean?
00:18:54.000 Right.
00:18:54.000 Like Bill Maher.
00:18:55.000 You know what I mean?
00:18:56.000 Just fucking hanging.
00:18:57.000 It was actually in the afternoon, and I think it was like a Sunday Funday thing, or it was like some Easter egg night day or some shit, and he was just buzzing around in his suit and just talking to girls.
00:19:10.000 Wow.
00:19:12.000 Yeah, him and OJ, you know?
00:19:14.000 Oh.
00:19:15.000 OJ. OJ will be out, too.
00:19:17.000 I know.
00:19:18.000 Isn't that bizarre?
00:19:19.000 So what is Donald Trump like when you're hanging around with him?
00:19:23.000 He just likes vagina.
00:19:25.000 You know what I mean?
00:19:26.000 He just likes us.
00:19:27.000 Look at those babes.
00:19:31.000 That's why anyone would go to the Playboy mansions, because they like vagina.
00:19:34.000 And we were lucky to get into the Playboy mansion.
00:19:36.000 We were very fortunate.
00:19:38.000 You know what I mean?
00:19:39.000 To get in there.
00:19:40.000 And I was actually talking to Kellyanne Conway about right before Trump got elected on email.
00:19:49.000 And I was supposed to have dinner with her and some of her friends, but I had to go do some shows in West Palm at the improv, so I had to cancel out.
00:19:55.000 Who were you going to talk to Kellyanne Conway about?
00:19:58.000 Who cares?
00:19:59.000 Just to be there.
00:20:00.000 Of course.
00:20:01.000 How weird.
00:20:02.000 It would have been hilarious.
00:20:04.000 I wanted to, you know what I mean?
00:20:05.000 For sure.
00:20:06.000 But she was cool.
00:20:07.000 I have her email.
00:20:08.000 I have her information and stuff.
00:20:09.000 Wow.
00:20:10.000 Yeah.
00:20:10.000 You should get her on your show.
00:20:11.000 Well, you'd put her on your show.
00:20:12.000 Oh, yeah.
00:20:13.000 I would definitely talk to her.
00:20:14.000 Yeah.
00:20:14.000 Does it feel weird, though, to be connected to them now?
00:20:17.000 Once they're actually in.
00:20:19.000 Yeah, once they got in and I started to see all that stuff that was going on, I kind of backed off and I was like, you know what I mean?
00:20:28.000 Yeah.
00:20:28.000 I didn't want to really be, you know.
00:20:30.000 Yeah.
00:20:30.000 But I wanted to be the vagina coordinator for him.
00:20:33.000 You want to be the guy that hooks it up?
00:20:35.000 Yeah, that gets him the vagina.
00:20:36.000 You can't be public about that.
00:20:37.000 You can't talk about it.
00:20:38.000 So if you talk about it, you're going to fuck it up for him.
00:20:40.000 Oh, that's true.
00:20:41.000 Right now, you're fucking it up for him.
00:20:42.000 Okay.
00:20:43.000 This is just a bit, folks.
00:20:44.000 Yeah, we're just playing.
00:20:45.000 It's not real.
00:20:45.000 Paul is just playing.
00:20:48.000 But how great would that be?
00:20:49.000 The idea is that he's got the Trump plane.
00:20:52.000 You know, the Trump plane, it's sitting there.
00:20:55.000 Where's it sitting?
00:20:56.000 Somewhere.
00:20:58.000 Right?
00:20:58.000 Where is that plane?
00:20:59.000 It's got to be sitting in a tarmac somewhere.
00:21:01.000 So I want him to let me borrow it so I can pick up vagina for him in the Midwest.
00:21:06.000 The Midwest is the move?
00:21:07.000 Well, yeah, the people that voted for him.
00:21:09.000 Oh, they're happy for him.
00:21:11.000 Yeah, the flyover states.
00:21:12.000 Bring some, you know, one-tooth wonders.
00:21:14.000 You know what I mean?
00:21:16.000 Bring him to the...
00:21:17.000 Because, dude, he hasn't gotten anything.
00:21:19.000 Think about it.
00:21:20.000 He's been, like, cut off from strange.
00:21:24.000 100%.
00:21:24.000 Do you think so?
00:21:25.000 100%.
00:21:26.000 There's, like, a basement that they have in the White House.
00:21:29.000 There is no way he's getting vagina.
00:21:32.000 So none of them do?
00:21:33.000 Do you think none of the presidents, like with modern presidents, like I guess like Bush on, right?
00:21:39.000 Bush, Obama, now Trump.
00:21:41.000 There's no way they can, right?
00:21:43.000 I don't think so.
00:21:43.000 Clinton kind of fucked it up for everybody.
00:21:45.000 He fucked it up.
00:21:46.000 Yeah.
00:21:47.000 Who was it?
00:21:48.000 Linda Tripp?
00:21:48.000 Was that the lady who ratted that Monica Lewinsky girl out?
00:21:52.000 That poor girl?
00:21:52.000 I feel more bad for her than anybody.
00:21:55.000 Like, she did some article about her where she said, the shame sticks to you like tar.
00:22:00.000 Ugh.
00:22:00.000 I was like, can you imagine?
00:22:02.000 Poor girl's 20 years old.
00:22:04.000 I would just own it at this point.
00:22:05.000 I guess she's got it, right?
00:22:06.000 You know what I mean?
00:22:07.000 Yeah.
00:22:08.000 But...
00:22:09.000 So what is Trump like, though?
00:22:11.000 Is he a good guy to talk to?
00:22:13.000 Like, what is he like?
00:22:15.000 Obviously, he didn't even want to run for president back then.
00:22:18.000 I think he'd been wanting to...
00:22:20.000 If you look at clips now, you see a lot of clips where they interview him and now you find clips in the 90s where they always say...
00:22:28.000 Who was it?
00:22:29.000 The guy from...
00:22:30.000 I forgot that one show on MSN, but...
00:22:33.000 Tim something, I don't know, he died, but he said, well, if you were president, da-da-da-da.
00:22:38.000 Oh, yeah, Meet the Press.
00:22:39.000 Yeah, I've seen that.
00:22:40.000 Actually, I was watching that today, where he was talking about North Korea.
00:22:44.000 There was a whole clip where he's talking about North Korea from 1999. I never really engaged in heavy conversation with him.
00:22:51.000 It was always kind of just, you know, we smiled at each other.
00:22:54.000 It was just that, you know, so I never went out to dinner with him or anything.
00:22:58.000 Right.
00:23:00.000 Yeah, I was supposed to do Celebrity Apprentice.
00:23:02.000 They asked me to do Celebrity Apprentice when I had the second iteration of Fear Factor, when Fear Factor came back in like, what is it, 2011 or 12 or whatever it was.
00:23:14.000 I just was like, I don't want to do it.
00:23:15.000 I don't want to be in New York for three months.
00:23:18.000 I don't want to work on this show.
00:23:19.000 It just seems kind of gross.
00:23:22.000 And now that I think about it, I'm like, it's probably a good move.
00:23:24.000 Because what if I did it and I got in an argument with him?
00:23:28.000 What if he hated me?
00:23:29.000 Right, right, right.
00:23:30.000 And now I have this fucking feud like Rosie does.
00:23:33.000 Because Rosie O'Donnell, it seems like it consumes her.
00:23:37.000 Like, her fucking Twitter feed.
00:23:39.000 Is it still?
00:23:40.000 Oh my god, it's all about Trump.
00:23:42.000 She's always tweeting about Trump being a piece of shit and a loser, and he tweets about her.
00:23:47.000 That's hilarious.
00:23:49.000 They're grown people.
00:23:51.000 Yeah, there's more right there.
00:23:53.000 Look at that.
00:23:54.000 Oh, Donald.
00:23:54.000 Looking bad, honey.
00:23:55.000 Wow.
00:23:56.000 Take time to take care of you.
00:23:58.000 It's only Wednesday.
00:23:59.000 Golf, sweetie.
00:24:00.000 Golf.
00:24:00.000 That's hilarious.
00:24:02.000 Oh, my God.
00:24:03.000 That's hilarious.
00:24:04.000 But how can she say anything about anybody looking bad?
00:24:07.000 That's what's even more dumb.
00:24:10.000 Wow, there she is.
00:24:11.000 I mean, she's crazy.
00:24:14.000 I don't know.
00:24:15.000 It's just like feuds like that, they're not healthy.
00:24:17.000 They consume you.
00:24:19.000 Not good.
00:24:20.000 Not good.
00:24:20.000 Not good at all.
00:24:22.000 So are you going to continue doing this dude?
00:24:24.000 What's his name again?
00:24:25.000 Stephen Miller.
00:24:27.000 I guess if he keeps messing up and they want me to do it.
00:24:32.000 Yeah, you could do a whole bunch of things with him, right?
00:24:34.000 Him explaining things to different people.
00:24:36.000 I think it's more if he messes up.
00:24:38.000 Yeah.
00:24:38.000 You know what I mean?
00:24:39.000 I think it's more if he goes on the...
00:24:41.000 You know, I just want him to get back on that press stage, because once he's on there, then they start...
00:24:46.000 You know what I mean?
00:24:47.000 Right.
00:24:47.000 And that's when he becomes...
00:24:50.000 You know what's weird is when George Bush was president, I was doing some shows in D.C., and me and Dean Gelber, we went to the White House, and we actually went into that room, the press room, and it's actually fucking small.
00:25:04.000 Yeah, it's pretty little.
00:25:05.000 Have you been in it?
00:25:06.000 No, but I've seen it on TV when they show it from the back of the room.
00:25:09.000 Yeah, but it's almost this big.
00:25:11.000 It's pretty small.
00:25:12.000 I was like, whoa.
00:25:13.000 Yeah.
00:25:14.000 You know what I mean?
00:25:14.000 It's weird.
00:25:15.000 Expected to be grand.
00:25:17.000 Yeah.
00:25:17.000 Yeah.
00:25:18.000 But the White House, have you been to the White House before?
00:25:21.000 No.
00:25:21.000 Just the tourists walk through?
00:25:22.000 No.
00:25:23.000 It's fucking weird.
00:25:24.000 I'm sure.
00:25:24.000 It's so weird.
00:25:25.000 You know what's weird is how close it is to the street.
00:25:28.000 I was by it.
00:25:29.000 I drove by it, but that was back when people had, like, muskets, you know?
00:25:33.000 Like, they really, you couldn't, when they built that stupid fucking thing, they didn't give themselves enough space.
00:25:38.000 Like, if somebody just pulled up with a high-powered rifle, it's right there.
00:25:42.000 It's just weird that people, like, you watch House of Cards?
00:25:46.000 It's a great show.
00:25:47.000 But it's weird because they're engaging in all sorts of illicit activity, and there's windows everywhere.
00:25:54.000 It's probably unrealistic, but...
00:25:56.000 But, um...
00:25:58.000 How many people have lived in that fucking house?
00:26:00.000 That's what's even weirder, you know?
00:26:01.000 45 different presidents all living in this one spot.
00:26:07.000 I know, it's crazy.
00:26:09.000 I mean, they have to be saying that shit to each other.
00:26:11.000 I mean, Bill Clinton or Trump's got to be saying...
00:26:15.000 There it is.
00:26:15.000 Look how close that is.
00:26:16.000 Trump's got to be saying, like, this is the place that Bill Clinton got blown.
00:26:19.000 This is the area.
00:26:20.000 Yeah.
00:26:22.000 Look how close it is.
00:26:23.000 Look on the left side and the right side.
00:26:25.000 Look how close it is to the street.
00:26:27.000 I guarantee you I could hit that with an arrow.
00:26:30.000 You're going to D.C., right?
00:26:32.000 Yeah.
00:26:32.000 And you've been there.
00:26:33.000 August 26th.
00:26:34.000 Do you like D.C.? I like working there.
00:26:36.000 Yeah.
00:26:36.000 Because they feel like they need to blow some steam off.
00:26:39.000 Like, they're kind of wild.
00:26:41.000 They're kind of fun.
00:26:43.000 Hey, as far as your stand-up and stuff, like, you know, obviously, you know, we're peers, you know, and I see you and watch you and stuff like that.
00:26:51.000 At what point...
00:26:52.000 Did your stuff, like, just really start to blow up?
00:26:56.000 Do you know what I mean?
00:26:56.000 Like, really go from clubs?
00:26:58.000 Because you were working clubs like I'm working clubs, and then all of a sudden now you're working, like, bigger places.
00:27:02.000 Like, at what point?
00:27:03.000 Was it about five years ago?
00:27:04.000 Four years ago?
00:27:06.000 Was it the Netflix specials?
00:27:08.000 Well, longer than that ago, I did theaters in some places, but it's probably my...
00:27:15.000 It all started changing in 2009. That's when I did a Comedy Central special.
00:27:21.000 Spike TV first and then they aired on Spike TV and then Comedy Central.
00:27:24.000 I started doing bigger places.
00:27:26.000 Then I started selling out theaters of like 2,000 seats in some markets.
00:27:31.000 But, you know, it would take me like a few months.
00:27:34.000 And then there was the next Comedy Central special.
00:27:37.000 That was another big bump.
00:27:38.000 And then I was selling out places like the Belco in Denver, which is like $5,000.
00:27:43.000 But it would take a little longer to sell out.
00:27:46.000 But now, with the Netflix special, it changed everything.
00:27:50.000 Netflix is just a completely different thing.
00:27:52.000 Wow.
00:27:53.000 So many people have Netflix, man.
00:27:55.000 I know.
00:27:55.000 And if you work on it on a special, you know, and you really put together something good, they can say, oh, you know, this guy, he actually is a real comic.
00:28:03.000 He really actually is funny.
00:28:05.000 You know, and then they want to come see you, and then it's your responsibility to not fuck them.
00:28:09.000 Yeah, do a good job.
00:28:10.000 And keep writing new shit.
00:28:12.000 Constantly keep producing new shit.
00:28:14.000 Right, but what does it feel like to be out of the clubs?
00:28:16.000 I still do clubs, though.
00:28:17.000 No, I know that.
00:28:18.000 I did Wise Guys and Salt Lake.
00:28:19.000 I get it, but you're playing bigger things.
00:28:22.000 Yeah.
00:28:22.000 What does that feel like to you?
00:28:24.000 Is it dope?
00:28:25.000 It's great.
00:28:26.000 I mean, it's fun and everything.
00:28:27.000 It's a different kind of show, though.
00:28:30.000 It's like there's more pausing.
00:28:32.000 Yeah.
00:28:32.000 It's more theatrical.
00:28:34.000 It's a bigger stage, moving around more.
00:28:36.000 There's really good to it.
00:28:40.000 But I wouldn't say it's better.
00:28:42.000 It's just different.
00:28:43.000 It's better financially, but it's just different.
00:28:46.000 But it must make you feel good.
00:28:48.000 Yeah, it feels good.
00:28:49.000 Yeah, yeah.
00:28:49.000 That's awesome.
00:28:51.000 Because I've played big places and I've also played clubs, but now I'm mostly playing.
00:28:56.000 I play clubs, yeah.
00:28:58.000 Yeah.
00:28:59.000 So, you know, play all the same clubs.
00:29:01.000 Yeah, I like playing clubs, though.
00:29:02.000 Clubs, it's like you're connected to the people.
00:29:05.000 It's intimate, you know?
00:29:06.000 Yeah.
00:29:06.000 How often are you touring?
00:29:10.000 I don't know.
00:29:11.000 I kind of go in spurts.
00:29:12.000 You know, I'm working a lot.
00:29:14.000 I mean, I don't work a lot at the store during the week because I'm so exhausted from editing.
00:29:19.000 And I edit and edit all day long.
00:29:21.000 What are you editing?
00:29:23.000 I'm editing...
00:29:24.000 Well, I finished the show on Crackle.
00:29:26.000 That took a long time.
00:29:28.000 That's your interview show.
00:29:29.000 Yeah, that's on Now.
00:29:30.000 That's on Crackle.
00:29:31.000 And I was editing that.
00:29:33.000 And I spent a lot of time on those videos.
00:29:36.000 And then from there, I did the documentary, Polyshore Stands Alone, which was on Showtime, and now it's on Amazon.
00:29:43.000 That's just a straight doc that came out a couple years ago.
00:29:46.000 I had such a good time filming that, that I kept shooting.
00:29:49.000 And the whole thing is about me moving my mom out of the house.
00:29:52.000 You know, out of the big house.
00:29:54.000 Because when I did the original doc, it was just kind of like...
00:29:58.000 Kind of skimming the concept of that, and then I go, fuck, I gotta start doing that.
00:30:03.000 So I cut into...
00:30:04.000 It's a six-part series, almost like my version of Making the Murder, but I don't kill anyone, obviously.
00:30:09.000 Right.
00:30:10.000 But it's a six-part kind of series based off the original doc.
00:30:14.000 So we've been putting that together, and that's fucking dope, dude.
00:30:18.000 People might not know, so I think we probably should say...
00:30:20.000 It's fucking dope.
00:30:20.000 Your mom's probably one of the most important, if not the most important, characters ever in the history of stand-up comedy.
00:30:27.000 Yeah.
00:30:27.000 Like, her running and owning the Comedy Store in the glory days of Kenison and Pryor and now today even, you know, like, she set the stage.
00:30:39.000 You know, I mean, out of all the people that helped me and, like, were important to me in my career, your mom was pretty uniquely significant.
00:30:49.000 You know, she...
00:30:51.000 She just...
00:30:52.000 Yeah, she created, you know, my dad and mom started the place in 72. You know, I was four.
00:30:58.000 And then...
00:30:59.000 That's so crazy.
00:31:00.000 Yeah, and then they got divorced.
00:31:02.000 She won the comedy store in the divorce.
00:31:04.000 He says he gave it to her.
00:31:06.000 You know, there's still like a friction there with that concept.
00:31:08.000 I wasn't, you know, I don't remember.
00:31:09.000 I was a fucking four years old.
00:31:12.000 And then my mom became who she really was.
00:31:16.000 You know, you're a comic, I'm a comic.
00:31:17.000 That's who we are.
00:31:21.000 We're good to go.
00:31:40.000 But she was so good at fucking, like, Roseanne, wear suspenders.
00:31:44.000 You know, Gary Shanley, put a sweater on.
00:31:47.000 You know what I mean?
00:31:48.000 Just different things that she would help develop.
00:31:51.000 And that, to me, is what the store is missing now.
00:31:53.000 Do you understand?
00:31:54.000 Like, there's no Mitzi Shore there to really garnish these comments.
00:31:59.000 I love Adam to death.
00:32:00.000 He's fucking doing an awesome job.
00:32:02.000 He is.
00:32:02.000 Yeah, but...
00:32:03.000 But it's not Mitzi Shore.
00:32:04.000 And that, to me, is something that I think we have to do.
00:32:08.000 I think it's our responsibility, you know, to kind of give back to the younger guys and maybe spend a little more time there on a Monday night or something and really kind of help these kids out and give them some direction.
00:32:19.000 Because there is no direction.
00:32:20.000 There's no Mitzi Shore there.
00:32:21.000 So that's who she...
00:32:23.000 That's who she was.
00:32:25.000 That's who she is.
00:32:26.000 And that, to me, is what her best quality was.
00:32:29.000 When she first met my dad, it was in the 50s.
00:32:32.000 And my dad was touring comic.
00:32:34.000 And my dad did a show or a summer in a place called Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin.
00:32:40.000 And he was doing it all summer.
00:32:41.000 It's like, that's what you did in the 50s.
00:32:43.000 You'd play there the whole...
00:32:44.000 It was a camp.
00:32:45.000 And my mom worked...
00:32:47.000 For the boss of the camp.
00:32:50.000 And my mom used to type my dad's jokes in the back.
00:32:54.000 Wow.
00:32:54.000 Yeah, she would type the jokes in the back.
00:32:56.000 Oh, this is good.
00:32:57.000 That's not good.
00:32:58.000 You know, and she would write it down.
00:33:00.000 Wow.
00:33:00.000 And then she would say, this stunk.
00:33:02.000 This was good.
00:33:03.000 That was good.
00:33:03.000 That's not good.
00:33:05.000 And then she just helped develop my dad's act.
00:33:08.000 They started dating.
00:33:09.000 They had sex.
00:33:10.000 And then my dad took off.
00:33:12.000 Wow.
00:33:12.000 And then he was in Toledo, Ohio, and then got a call from my mom saying I'm pregnant with Scott.
00:33:18.000 And Scott just turned 64, 65 years old.
00:33:22.000 So back then, you have a kid, whether you want to or you don't.
00:33:28.000 You know what I mean?
00:33:28.000 The abortion thing didn't really exist.
00:33:30.000 I mean, it did, I'm sure, but...
00:33:33.000 He never wanted a kid, and he never wanted to get married, and he never wanted all of his kids.
00:33:38.000 He didn't want us.
00:33:38.000 He just wanted to do what I do, which was just bang, vagina, go on the road, have a good time.
00:33:44.000 You know, which was my M.O. when I first started, you know what I mean?
00:33:48.000 Right.
00:33:48.000 And that got taken from him.
00:33:49.000 So, in his day, did you ever talk to him about what it was like to tour back then?
00:33:54.000 Because it wasn't really comedy clubs back then, right?
00:33:57.000 No, it was more like strip clubs.
00:34:00.000 Strip clubs, bars, bowling alleys.
00:34:02.000 You know, places that I play now.
00:34:06.000 But it had to be a real trip to go from that to being a part of the original comedy club.
00:34:13.000 I mean, other than, like, the Ice House right now is the oldest comedy club in the country.
00:34:19.000 But, because that's because it started in, like, 1960. But the store, was it 72?
00:34:26.000 Is that what you said it started?
00:34:26.000 72, yeah.
00:34:27.000 That's incredible.
00:34:28.000 Really stop and think about that, how long ago that was.
00:34:30.000 Yeah.
00:34:31.000 Before that, there wasn't really...
00:34:32.000 Well, the improv was actually...
00:34:34.000 Yeah, the improv in New York.
00:34:35.000 Yeah.
00:34:36.000 There was Catch a Rising Star in New York.
00:34:37.000 When was that?
00:34:38.000 It was sort of around that time.
00:34:39.000 Yeah.
00:34:40.000 Yeah.
00:34:41.000 I mean, it was a new thing.
00:34:42.000 Yeah.
00:34:43.000 So, like, your mom and your dad...
00:34:45.000 Well, my dad...
00:34:47.000 The way it happened was Frank Sennis, who owns the building, who owned the building, said to my dad and his friend Rudy DeLuca, said, Hey, Sammy, you want to start a comedy room?
00:35:00.000 Because he owned the building where Ciros is and that whole building there, the room right there, the original room actually, which was what it was originally.
00:35:11.000 And my dad said, okay.
00:35:12.000 And then Rudy, my dad's writing partner, Rudy DeLuca, said, well, what do we call it?
00:35:19.000 You know, let's do it.
00:35:20.000 And then my dad was like, let's call it the Sammy Shore Room.
00:35:23.000 Right?
00:35:23.000 And then Rudy's like, that's fucking stupid.
00:35:27.000 You know what I mean?
00:35:27.000 We're not going to do that.
00:35:28.000 And then they asked my mom, and my mom's the one that said, let's call it the Comedy Store.
00:35:33.000 So she's the one who came up with the name.
00:35:35.000 So they started the Comedy Store.
00:35:38.000 My dad was like the alcoholic MC. He was partying.
00:35:41.000 He was a fucking alcoholic, dude, big time.
00:35:43.000 Like, he loved J&B. It was his favorite drink.
00:35:46.000 And he would go on stage, and he'd bring up Red Fox, Pat McCormick, you know, Murray Langston, you know, all these older guys.
00:35:57.000 Yeah.
00:35:57.000 And my mom would work the cover booth, you know, where Tommy used to work, in that little area right there.
00:36:02.000 And she used to give out, like...
00:36:05.000 Like little peppermints and stuff, you know, to the guests that would come in.
00:36:09.000 And then my dad would go on the road and open for Elvis and open for Engelbert Humperdinck and Sammy Davis and Sinatra and all these people.
00:36:18.000 And my mom slowly started to take over the club while he was gone.
00:36:22.000 Like her heart, you know what I mean?
00:36:23.000 She put her heart into the club.
00:36:26.000 And that's kind of where it started.
00:36:27.000 And they were never happy to begin with.
00:36:30.000 They were never happy.
00:36:32.000 So it was time for the divorce, and then my dad just gave her the club, gave her the house, and took off.
00:36:38.000 So he just wanted to be back on the road.
00:36:39.000 Yeah, but to this day, he's fucking pissed about it, because he never got a piece of the Comedy Store.
00:36:44.000 Wow.
00:36:45.000 He never got a piece of the Comedy Store, and I think that's terrible.
00:36:48.000 Because he's the one that fucking started it.
00:36:50.000 Right.
00:36:51.000 If it wasn't for him, there would be no Comedy Store.
00:36:53.000 If he never had sex with my mom in Elkhart Lake, Wisconsin, there would never be no Comedy Store.
00:36:59.000 Period.
00:36:59.000 That's deep.
00:37:00.000 Period.
00:37:01.000 That's deep.
00:37:01.000 So that's why my dad needs to get more, in my opinion, needs to get more credit.
00:37:05.000 He never gets any credit.
00:37:07.000 It's always about her.
00:37:08.000 Yeah.
00:37:08.000 I never met him.
00:37:10.000 I never met your dad.
00:37:10.000 He's the fucking man.
00:37:12.000 He's the man.
00:37:13.000 I believe you.
00:37:13.000 He's fucking awesome.
00:37:14.000 Yeah.
00:37:16.000 90 years old.
00:37:17.000 When you were growing up, did Kennison really babysit you?
00:37:22.000 Did that ever really happen?
00:37:23.000 Because that was always like...
00:37:24.000 I'll tell you who the babysitters were.
00:37:25.000 Kennison never babysat me.
00:37:27.000 The babysitters were like Lois Bromfield, Jack Perdue, Mike Binder, Argus Hamilton, Mitchell Walters, Alan Stevens.
00:37:35.000 Mike Binder from Bazaar?
00:37:36.000 For sure.
00:37:37.000 Yeah, Mike Binder was fucking awesome, dude.
00:37:39.000 He was awesome.
00:37:41.000 They used to take me to Little League, you know?
00:37:43.000 Really?
00:37:43.000 Yeah.
00:37:44.000 Wow.
00:37:44.000 At the Beverly Hills Park, yeah.
00:37:46.000 But Mike Binder...
00:37:48.000 Mike Binder is fucking, he was like the, him and Alan Bursky were like the youngest guys that came on the scene, but Mike Binder, he used to take me to skate parks and all that shit, because my mom was busy at the club, so she always gave me the comedians.
00:38:01.000 As far as Kennison, I was a short order cook at the Comedy Store in Westwood.
00:38:06.000 I used to cook for everyone.
00:38:07.000 There's 200 people there because I was a good cook because my parents divorced.
00:38:14.000 There's like a menu in my mom's office, Polly's menu.
00:38:17.000 Nachos, hamburgers, everything.
00:38:18.000 I would cook really good.
00:38:20.000 And that's where I first met Sam.
00:38:21.000 I was 14. Wow.
00:38:23.000 Because he was like the doorman there.
00:38:25.000 You were working there as a cook at 14?
00:38:26.000 Yeah, because I wanted to save up for a saltwater fish tank.
00:38:30.000 Because my mom wouldn't buy me a saltwater fish tank.
00:38:33.000 Wow.
00:38:33.000 I wanted to get a hundred gallon saltwater fish tank.
00:38:35.000 See, when I came around in 94, I don't think the Westwood Club was around.
00:38:39.000 No.
00:38:40.000 When did it die?
00:38:40.000 No, it closed, I think, 84. Oh, wow.
00:38:43.000 Yeah, that's too bad.
00:38:45.000 I heard that place was wild.
00:38:46.000 It was like the Bastard Club.
00:38:48.000 It was like where everyone, you know, like, you know, I mean Arsenio, Paul Rodriguez, Andrew Dice Clay.
00:38:53.000 They would like go there and it was like off the beaten path and they would work out there.
00:38:58.000 And then like the Howie Mandels would be in the main room at the store and all that stuff.
00:39:01.000 Yeah.
00:39:02.000 Howie Mandel, even back then.
00:39:04.000 Isn't that crazy?
00:39:04.000 Oh, he was fucking awesome.
00:39:05.000 He was huge back then.
00:39:06.000 Yeah, huge.
00:39:08.000 It's weird, you know, seeing him on all these game shows and stuff like that.
00:39:11.000 He went up on a comedy store the other night, and I heard someone say, he does comedy?
00:39:15.000 And I was like, wow, that's so weird.
00:39:17.000 Like, people, they don't even think about it.
00:39:19.000 You see him on television as a host of a game show, you kind of forget that he was this huge stand-up.
00:39:24.000 Huge.
00:39:25.000 Before I ever even did it.
00:39:26.000 Yeah, huge.
00:39:27.000 He used to do the gloves.
00:39:29.000 Yeah, he'd put a glove over his head and blow it up with his nose.
00:39:32.000 He'd play that little kid, Bobby.
00:39:35.000 Oh yeah, Bobby was great.
00:39:36.000 He actually did a cartoon.
00:39:38.000 Remember Bobby's World, right?
00:39:40.000 Yeah.
00:39:40.000 Yeah.
00:39:41.000 I know it's a weird, like, I was at the Funny or Die thing last night, and I was with Will Ferrell, not to drop names, but I'm a huge fan of him, and he owns the site, and we were talking, and he just gave it up to me.
00:39:53.000 He's like, dude, you started it all.
00:39:55.000 And he goes, I used to watch you on MTV, and Encino Man, this generation doesn't know what I did, most of the kids, the 25 and younger.
00:40:02.000 They don't know that I started MTV, they don't know all the films, they think Sandler, they think all these other guys, but they don't know that I was the first.
00:40:11.000 I was, you know, at the time, because MTV was so big.
00:40:15.000 Yeah, you were the first celebrity.
00:40:17.000 You and, like, Dennis Leary.
00:40:18.000 Like, Dennis Leary became a big celebrity off MTV, too.
00:40:21.000 Yeah, he started in some movies, but I was starting in a lot of movies.
00:40:26.000 Yeah.
00:40:26.000 And I was doing albums, albums, all that stuff.
00:40:29.000 And I was in my 20s, and I was having an awesome time.
00:40:31.000 That had to be weird.
00:40:32.000 It was awesome.
00:40:33.000 But growing up, like, in the store, like, from the time you were as old as you could remember, being a part of the comedy store, and then all of a sudden being 20 and being famous.
00:40:45.000 Yeah, on MTV. It was the best.
00:40:47.000 When MTV was gigantic.
00:40:49.000 Yeah, look at it.
00:40:50.000 I had my own billboard.
00:40:50.000 Look at you.
00:40:51.000 It was sick.
00:40:52.000 How weird was that?
00:40:53.000 I was a kid.
00:40:54.000 And look, I had sold out all the shows at the Roxy.
00:40:57.000 You know, I had an album, and I was doing all of it at once.
00:41:02.000 Was it weird?
00:41:04.000 It was so much fun.
00:41:06.000 It was so much fun.
00:41:07.000 That's why now when I look back on my films, I get kind of sad.
00:41:10.000 Why?
00:41:12.000 Because that time of my life was my happiest time.
00:41:16.000 But why does it make you sad?
00:41:19.000 Because it was really amazing.
00:41:21.000 And now life is still good, but it's not like it was.
00:41:25.000 So what changed?
00:41:27.000 Well, I think for a lot of people in their 20s, at least my opinion, when you're in your 20s, if you fuck up, it doesn't really matter.
00:41:36.000 And life is like one big whatever.
00:41:39.000 And that's kind of what I miss.
00:41:41.000 Now when you get older, things are like...
00:41:44.000 You know mom's sick or this or you know there's all these things life things you know or like yeah I'm gonna be 50 next year you know what I mean just like things like when you're younger dude I used to have like me and my friends we used to go to the beach and smoke pot you know we used to go to the Roxy we used to go to the rainbow it was like why can't you still do that because I don't feel like it well then why does it make you sad that you don't feel like doing those things what do you feel like doing Going to the Korean bathhouse and watching the news and chilling and drinking juice.
00:42:13.000 Well, then do that.
00:42:13.000 That's what I do.
00:42:14.000 So why is that sad?
00:42:15.000 That's what's confusing.
00:42:17.000 I wouldn't say it's sad.
00:42:20.000 No, watching the movies make me sad because I miss starring in films.
00:42:26.000 So what happened?
00:42:27.000 Why did that dry up?
00:42:31.000 I think...
00:42:33.000 It's several reasons.
00:42:35.000 You know, number one, I was so big.
00:42:37.000 And I think the bigger you are and the faster you make it, the harder you fall.
00:42:40.000 I think that's just like normal.
00:42:42.000 Because it was like you can only, you know what I mean?
00:42:45.000 That was one thing.
00:42:46.000 And also, I think the whole weasel thing was like, it was cool for a while.
00:42:50.000 And then like after a while, it's not cool.
00:42:52.000 Just like a lot of things.
00:42:53.000 And I also think I didn't listen to my agents and managers.
00:42:56.000 They told me not to do in the Army now.
00:43:01.000 That was a good movie!
00:43:03.000 No, I know, but here's the story behind it.
00:43:05.000 What happened was I had a three-album deal at Disney.
00:43:08.000 I had Encino Man's son-in-law.
00:43:09.000 These big hits for me did really well.
00:43:12.000 And then it came time to do my third movie, and it was in the Army now.
00:43:17.000 Yeah.
00:43:31.000 Which I thought was actually a really funny idea.
00:43:34.000 And Jeffrey Katzenberg, who used to run Disney, wouldn't let me do that movie at New Line, you know, being an au pair in London.
00:43:41.000 So he bought the script and shelved it.
00:43:44.000 So I did In the Army Now.
00:43:45.000 In the Army Now didn't do as good as the other films.
00:43:48.000 And then after that, Disney didn't sign me enough to do more movies.
00:43:51.000 And then after that, I did Jury Duty.
00:43:53.000 And Jury Duty didn't do so good.
00:43:56.000 You know what I mean?
00:43:58.000 Financially.
00:43:59.000 So it was when the movie started to draw, maybe poor choices?
00:44:02.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:44:04.000 Like not listening to my agents and managers and stuff at the time.
00:44:06.000 But I didn't come at it like, fuck you.
00:44:08.000 I came at it like, I want to work.
00:44:10.000 I love acting.
00:44:10.000 I love going to the set.
00:44:12.000 That's another thing.
00:44:13.000 I did an Adam Sandler film, I don't know, the last one he did, Sandy Wexler.
00:44:19.000 And you go up on the set, and Adam's starring in this film, and I'm not.
00:44:24.000 You know what I mean?
00:44:24.000 And I used to star in films, and it's a weird feeling for me.
00:44:28.000 Like, I'm happy to be on the set, and I love Adam, and he's an old, dear friend, and I'm super happy for him.
00:44:34.000 But I was starring in films.
00:44:36.000 You know what I mean?
00:44:36.000 And everywhere I go, people say, why aren't you starring in films?
00:44:40.000 Like, what's up?
00:44:41.000 And I can't answer it.
00:44:43.000 You know what I mean?
00:44:44.000 Poor choices.
00:44:46.000 The weasel shit dried up.
00:44:48.000 The movies didn't perform as well.
00:44:50.000 I didn't listen to my agents.
00:44:51.000 I wasn't doing drugs.
00:44:53.000 It wasn't like I got all fucked up.
00:44:55.000 It's just one movie didn't do so good, then the next movie didn't do so good, and then they eventually just stopped coming.
00:45:02.000 Because you think about it like it's a business.
00:45:05.000 Yeah, Biodome didn't do as good as Jury Duty.
00:45:07.000 Even though now, like, it's a big hit.
00:45:09.000 It's a cult hit for me.
00:45:11.000 But at the time, you know what I mean?
00:45:14.000 Yeah.
00:45:15.000 And then I got a sitcom on Fox, and that didn't go.
00:45:18.000 So things were like...
00:45:19.000 And then I was also turning 30, and my 30th birthday was very emotional for me.
00:45:24.000 I cried a lot on my 30th birthday.
00:45:26.000 Because I was going from, like, a boy to a man, and I didn't know how to do it.
00:45:31.000 You know what I mean?
00:45:32.000 I was just like, I didn't know.
00:45:34.000 I didn't know how to deal.
00:45:36.000 My 40th birthday was awesome.
00:45:38.000 It was great.
00:45:39.000 I was happy, you know what I mean?
00:45:41.000 Yeah.
00:45:41.000 My 50th birthday, I'll probably cry again.
00:45:44.000 It's an every 20 year thing.
00:45:47.000 Exactly.
00:45:48.000 So I miss starring in films, you know?
00:45:51.000 I miss it.
00:45:51.000 I miss it.
00:45:52.000 I love acting.
00:45:53.000 That's my first love, I think, you know?
00:45:55.000 I mean, you were on fucking TV. I didn't really like acting.
00:45:59.000 Really?
00:46:00.000 Yeah.
00:46:01.000 I mean, it's okay.
00:46:02.000 Because you were great on that show.
00:46:04.000 Yeah.
00:46:04.000 Well, I loved that show.
00:46:06.000 I loved working with those people, but I've done some other acting and was like, it's okay.
00:46:11.000 It's not my thing.
00:46:12.000 Like, stand-up comedy to me is more fun.
00:46:14.000 And then hosting.
00:46:14.000 You love hosting.
00:46:15.000 I don't...
00:46:16.000 I mean, I like doing the UFC. Working for the UFC and doing stand-up comedy and doing commentary for the UFC. Those things are fun.
00:46:24.000 Doing this is fun.
00:46:25.000 But acting to me was like long hours waiting around.
00:46:30.000 And then also, a lot of actors are cool.
00:46:33.000 But there's like 10% that are just fake.
00:46:37.000 They're just weird sociopaths.
00:46:40.000 They care about themselves.
00:46:41.000 They're complete narcissists.
00:46:42.000 They don't have...
00:46:44.000 I just can't connect with them, you know?
00:46:47.000 So there was a lot of that.
00:46:48.000 Because I think you're a good actor, and I think that if you maybe developed a show or a film, you know, for you, you know, I think would be awesome.
00:46:55.000 That sounds like torture.
00:46:57.000 Really?
00:46:57.000 Yeah.
00:46:58.000 You're saying that.
00:46:58.000 I'm like, ugh.
00:46:59.000 Really?
00:47:00.000 Stuck on a set.
00:47:01.000 Yeah.
00:47:01.000 So you just don't enjoy acting.
00:47:04.000 Yeah.
00:47:05.000 One of the things that was appealing about Fear Factor was no actors.
00:47:08.000 And so I was like, oh, I don't have to act, but I can still be on TV and make some money.
00:47:11.000 Okay, let's do it.
00:47:12.000 And I felt like it was going to get cancelled.
00:47:15.000 I was like, this is just to be some horrible disaster.
00:47:17.000 And then I'll go have some jokes about it.
00:47:20.000 And I'm like, I'll definitely get at least 10 minutes of material out of this fucking show.
00:47:24.000 Huge hit.
00:47:25.000 Huge hit.
00:47:26.000 Yeah, I wound up doing 154 episodes or something fucking crazy.
00:47:31.000 You get something.
00:47:33.000 You don't get the same residuals that you would get for a sitcom, though.
00:47:36.000 But is it called, what's it called when there's over 100 episodes?
00:47:41.000 Syndication.
00:47:41.000 Syndication.
00:47:42.000 Yes, it's in syndication.
00:47:43.000 You got syndication money?
00:47:44.000 Well, syndication money is not what everybody thinks it is.
00:47:47.000 Syndication money, like news radio went into syndication.
00:47:50.000 So I got syndication money from that.
00:47:52.000 But it's not like Jerry Seinfeld's syndication money.
00:47:54.000 See, he owns a piece of the show.
00:47:57.000 Then you get the real money.
00:47:58.000 But you get, I mean, you can't complain.
00:48:00.000 It's a lot of money.
00:48:01.000 My friend Peter Lenkoff, he owns Hawaii Five-0.
00:48:05.000 Whoa.
00:48:06.000 Which is on CBS. The original one?
00:48:08.000 No, this one that's on right now.
00:48:09.000 The new one.
00:48:09.000 But he went over 100 episodes.
00:48:12.000 That's the big payday.
00:48:13.000 So he's got like a fucking $7 million house in Malibu.
00:48:18.000 It's like, oh my God.
00:48:20.000 Having a big old party.
00:48:21.000 Oh my God.
00:48:22.000 I would imagine as soon as it goes over 100, you just go, yes!
00:48:26.000 Oh my God, right?
00:48:28.000 Yeah.
00:48:28.000 Yeah, well, you know, Kevin James, a buddy of mine, King of Queens went over 100. Oh, wow.
00:48:34.000 And when it goes over 100, as long as you don't fuck up, you're pretty much set.
00:48:38.000 As long as you don't go crazy, you don't start doing meth and buying yachts.
00:48:43.000 Yeah.
00:48:45.000 Yeah, so maybe stuff like this will bring you back to films, you know?
00:48:50.000 I miss it.
00:48:50.000 You know what I mean?
00:48:51.000 I miss it.
00:48:52.000 And that's why I was happy that the Stephen Miller thing worked out for me.
00:48:56.000 I wonder what would be the strategy to get back to it.
00:48:59.000 I guess to kick ass at a comedy special would be a good way to do it.
00:49:02.000 To put together a really good comedy special.
00:49:05.000 That'd be cool.
00:49:06.000 Have you thought about doing that?
00:49:08.000 Yeah, you know what I mean?
00:49:09.000 Robbie at Netflix has to hit me up.
00:49:11.000 He's like the guy.
00:49:13.000 Yeah.
00:49:14.000 But you're still doing a lot of stand-up.
00:49:17.000 Yeah, I still do a lot of stand-up.
00:49:18.000 I was talking about editing earlier.
00:49:20.000 So another thing that I'm editing, I'm editing that documentary series, which I'm happy about, but I'm also editing a documentary in my life.
00:49:27.000 And I've been doing that for three years.
00:49:28.000 Really?
00:49:29.000 It's fucking sick.
00:49:30.000 Yeah?
00:49:30.000 60s, 70s, 80s, 90s.
00:49:33.000 And I've got over 50 interviews.
00:49:34.000 I've got Jeffrey Katzenberg and Rotenberg and Doug Herzog and Chris Rock, Marc Maron.
00:49:41.000 I mean everyone.
00:49:42.000 Saget.
00:49:43.000 Everyone has done it from ex-girlfriends to comics from the 70s.
00:49:48.000 Lenny Schultz did it.
00:49:50.000 Crazy Lenny.
00:49:51.000 Crazy Lenny.
00:49:52.000 I saw Lenny Schultz in Montreal in like 1992. Like way back in the day.
00:49:59.000 I saw him at the Comedy Works, the Montreal Comedy Festival.
00:50:03.000 He was hilarious.
00:50:04.000 Yeah, he was great.
00:50:05.000 He was the original Gallagher.
00:50:06.000 Yeah, in a lot of ways.
00:50:07.000 He was one of the original guys.
00:50:11.000 Is he still around?
00:50:12.000 Yeah, he lives in Florida.
00:50:13.000 What does he do these days?
00:50:15.000 I think he's just retired.
00:50:16.000 Doesn't he stay up anymore at all?
00:50:17.000 He used to work the main room.
00:50:18.000 As a comic growing up, that's Billy Braver.
00:50:21.000 Oh my god.
00:50:24.000 Lenny is the one right above Billy.
00:50:27.000 Click on the one.
00:50:28.000 Yeah, right there.
00:50:28.000 That's Lenny.
00:50:29.000 So you know his joke, right?
00:50:32.000 Which one?
00:50:32.000 Where he used to do the...
00:50:34.000 He used to do the Lenny Schultz diet.
00:50:36.000 No.
00:50:37.000 Do you know about that?
00:50:38.000 No.
00:50:38.000 Where he would take all his clothes off and he would do this in the main room.
00:50:41.000 He would take all his clothes off and he would strip down to a Speedo.
00:50:47.000 Right?
00:50:48.000 To a Speedo.
00:50:49.000 And he would say, there's a lot of diets out there and people don't eat the food they're supposed to eat.
00:50:54.000 He goes, on the Lenny Schultz diet, I put the food on my body of the places that I want to lose weight.
00:51:00.000 Right?
00:51:00.000 So he'd have these fucking pigs and these ducks behind him and he'd play the music and he'd have all this food over there and he'd have spaghetti and he'd be like...
00:51:10.000 And it would just turn into this fucking crazy thing.
00:51:13.000 And he'd pour cottage cheese in his balls.
00:51:17.000 And then he'd have grapefruits.
00:51:19.000 He'd go, if you want to lose some weight in your elbow, have the motherfucking grapefruits!
00:51:23.000 And then he'd throw the grapefruits.
00:51:25.000 People have, you're hearing this, you have to see how manic and psycho he was on stage.
00:51:32.000 He got into it.
00:51:33.000 I would hate to be that type of comic, especially traveling.
00:51:37.000 You know, that's why Carrot Top is stoked because he's just stuck in Vegas.
00:51:41.000 Yeah.
00:51:41.000 I mean, imagine if you had to bring a case of stuff around, you know.
00:51:45.000 Well, I was just talking to somebody about that recently.
00:51:48.000 Those guys don't exist anymore.
00:51:49.000 Like, it used to be a genre.
00:51:51.000 It used to be prop comics.
00:51:52.000 But, like, Carrot Top is letting...
00:51:55.000 He goes...
00:51:58.000 Yeah, he was my favorite comic growing up as a kid.
00:52:02.000 He was the original, yeah.
00:52:04.000 Well, he was huge in Long Island.
00:52:05.000 All the guys from Long Island loved him.
00:52:07.000 Yeah.
00:52:08.000 They loved him.
00:52:09.000 Yeah.
00:52:09.000 He was like, when I first moved there, I was like, who's Lenny Schultz?
00:52:12.000 And I'm like, you've never seen Crazy Lenny?
00:52:14.000 Like, he would hold up a bear, you know, the fucking Smokey the Bear?
00:52:19.000 And he would hold it up and he'd go, only you can prevent forest fires.
00:52:25.000 And he'd go, fuck you!
00:52:27.000 And he'd punch the bear.
00:52:30.000 It didn't make any sense, but you would laugh your ass off.
00:52:33.000 You'd be like, why am I laughing at this?
00:52:35.000 I'm not sure why.
00:52:35.000 But he was so funny.
00:52:37.000 There's a lot of comics out there that never made it that are really funny.
00:52:42.000 I'm sure you've heard of Ollie Joe Prater.
00:52:44.000 Yeah, sure.
00:52:45.000 No one knows who he is.
00:52:46.000 To me, he had the best, strongest 45 minutes I've ever seen.
00:52:51.000 Wow.
00:52:51.000 But he never changed it.
00:52:53.000 Oh, yeah.
00:52:53.000 You know what I mean?
00:52:54.000 That happened with a lot of those guys that never, you know, really got mainstream exposure.
00:52:59.000 Like, I remember I went to see Kinison after his HBO special, and he hadn't quite figured out that he had to have all new material.
00:53:09.000 Because the HBO special had come out, and people were yelling out bits, like, while he was doing the bits.
00:53:15.000 You know, and it's like, it was that transitionary period, because when the guys would do HBO specials...
00:53:21.000 There was nothing like that before then, where someone had did an hour on television.
00:53:25.000 Usually you would do a Tonight Show, you'd do like seven minutes, and then you would go perform.
00:53:28.000 People actually probably wanted to hear those seven minutes again.
00:53:31.000 You know who is the most, to me, the most prolific comic that always changed it up was George Carlin.
00:53:37.000 Sure, every year.
00:53:38.000 He wrote a new hour every year.
00:53:39.000 Yeah, every year.
00:53:40.000 I think he had 14, right?
00:53:42.000 14 HBO specials?
00:53:43.000 Yeah, every year he wrote a whole new hour.
00:53:44.000 I mean, that's fucking insane.
00:53:46.000 Insane.
00:53:46.000 You know who else did it?
00:53:47.000 Richard Jenny.
00:53:48.000 Richard Jenny worked at Eastside Comedy Club in Long Island, and he did a different show Friday 8 o'clock show, a different show Friday 10 o'clock show, a different show Saturday 8 o'clock show, and a different show Saturday 10 o'clock show.
00:54:03.000 All the comics were sitting around scratching their head.
00:54:05.000 I remember I was backstage with a- He's so good, yeah.
00:54:07.000 I was an opener back then, you know, I was just starting out.
00:54:09.000 But I was backstage with all these guys who were like local headliners and they were just like, fuck, we're terrible.
00:54:14.000 They were like, it was just confronted by how good he was.
00:54:17.000 Yeah.
00:54:18.000 He was a fucking genius.
00:54:19.000 I still to this day think that he's one of the most underrated comedians ever.
00:54:23.000 100%.
00:54:23.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:54:24.000 Ever.
00:54:25.000 Yeah.
00:54:26.000 The thing that I noticed, because we had the same manager, Michael Rotenberg, was my manager and Jenny's manager at the time.
00:54:33.000 The one thing that I noticed about him, though, I don't know if you experienced this with him, is that his stand-up in the clubs was fucking insane.
00:54:42.000 But for some reason, when he was on TV doing it, it didn't translate as much.
00:54:47.000 For some reason, I think the...
00:54:49.000 You know how sometimes the camera just doesn't...
00:54:53.000 It doesn't pick up you as funny as you are.
00:54:57.000 That was kind of my experience with him, because he killed himself, and I don't know if that was part of the reason, because he was frustrated, you know what I mean?
00:55:06.000 A lot of people, I guess, they kill themselves if things don't work out for them, right?
00:55:11.000 I mean, in their career, I guess?
00:55:14.000 I don't know.
00:55:15.000 Well, he always wanted to be Jim Carrey.
00:55:18.000 That was his thing.
00:55:20.000 You know, he wanted to be Jim Carrey.
00:55:21.000 He wanted to be the comic that transitioned from doing stand-up to doing these gigantic movies.
00:55:26.000 And he had a show for a while on UPN. Yeah, The Platypus, man.
00:55:29.000 Yeah.
00:55:30.000 And he actually did The Mask with Jim Carrey.
00:55:33.000 He was in that movie.
00:55:34.000 And he was great.
00:55:34.000 Yeah, it just didn't get a lot of roles, didn't get a lot of parts.
00:55:38.000 But I still maintain that a steaming pile of me, if you're listening to this and you're thinking like, let me go watch some of it.
00:55:43.000 You can get it on iTunes.
00:55:45.000 A steaming pile of me is one of my all-time favorite stand-up specials.
00:55:48.000 It's fucking great.
00:55:49.000 Wow.
00:55:50.000 A lot of it's relevant today, because it's 2007, but he does this thing about the difference between people on the left and people on the right and people in the middle, and it's fucking brilliant.
00:56:00.000 It's brilliant.
00:56:01.000 I gotta hear that.
00:56:02.000 And he was like a guy that I saw when I was starting out where I really realized, watching him, how important it is to really go in depth on a subject.
00:56:13.000 Because he didn't just scratch the surface.
00:56:15.000 Like, when I was an open-miker, one thing you see about open-mikers is they'll touch a subject, and then they move on to a next subject.
00:56:22.000 But they basically just scratch the surface of it.
00:56:25.000 Jenny would dig a trench.
00:56:27.000 He would go deep.
00:56:28.000 And he would, like, get everything there was to get out of that bit, and then he would move on to another subject.
00:56:34.000 And by the time he did, you were fucking howling in laughter and holding your sides.
00:56:39.000 Yeah, he was...
00:56:40.000 He was amazing.
00:56:41.000 Yeah, he was so good.
00:56:43.000 He was.
00:56:44.000 And I agree with you, though.
00:56:46.000 When you see him in the clubs, you really got to see what he's really all about.
00:56:49.000 That's really the problem with specials, right?
00:56:51.000 It's like trying to figure out how to translate what you do when it's a Friday night in the OR. How do you get someone to experience that magic of a perfect club set?
00:57:04.000 In, you know, a special.
00:57:06.000 I think it's people's faces.
00:57:07.000 I think it's comedians' faces.
00:57:09.000 Some just pop off of screen and some don't.
00:57:12.000 That's my opinion.
00:57:14.000 There's a little bit of that because Richard had a weird face and he had plastic surgery and there's a bunch of shit going on.
00:57:19.000 Yeah.
00:57:21.000 But, I don't know.
00:57:22.000 I like clubs too, in terms of like filming, because I filmed...
00:57:27.000 There's a connection.
00:57:28.000 Yeah.
00:57:28.000 There's a vibe.
00:57:29.000 Because when you do your stuff, you're here and the audience is back there.
00:57:31.000 It's a little disconnect.
00:57:33.000 If you're in a big theater, yeah.
00:57:34.000 There's good things about a big theater.
00:57:36.000 It's like you hear a huge roar, you get to see the place, and everybody's like, wow, Pauly Shore must be gigantic.
00:57:42.000 Look at all these fucking people in the audience.
00:57:44.000 But when you're at home...
00:57:46.000 You're on a couch and you're in front of the TV. It's very intimate.
00:57:50.000 So you don't feel connected to this big giant place.
00:57:52.000 So that's why my Comedy Central special from 2014, Rocky Mountain High, I did in Denver at the Comedy Works.
00:58:00.000 And the reason why I did it there, I was like, this is an intimate room.
00:58:03.000 I want to have an intimate show.
00:58:05.000 And if I'm here, this is the place to do it.
00:58:08.000 It's nice and tight.
00:58:09.000 Let me ask you something.
00:58:10.000 At what point, as a stand-up, did you feel that you got really funny?
00:58:15.000 Like, you.
00:58:15.000 Like, you felt like, oh shit, like, I feel like I'm really funny.
00:58:19.000 Like, you can't say at the beginning, like, at what point.
00:58:21.000 No, it was more than ten years in.
00:58:23.000 Probably ten years in, I felt like I was competent.
00:58:25.000 But I feel like I'm better now than I've ever been before.
00:58:28.000 Right.
00:58:28.000 But it's just work.
00:58:29.000 It's just constantly working at it.
00:58:31.000 Like, I feel like stand-up is one of the unique things that requires, well, it requires, like, rigorous attention and detail.
00:58:41.000 And you have to be paying, and you have to be enthusiastic And you have to be disciplined.
00:58:46.000 Like, and it's almost contrary to what a lot of us are.
00:58:49.000 Like, a lot of us aren't disciplined people, which is why we're funny in the first place, because we're silly, and we're impulsive, and we laugh about things, joke around about things, and think about things in a fucked up way that's outside the box of normal thinking, you know?
00:59:02.000 So I think that a lot of times that sort of mindset is contrary to the mindset that's required to be disciplined, to write.
00:59:10.000 But as a kid, as a kid growing up, tell me about your parents.
00:59:14.000 I was not funny.
00:59:14.000 Yeah, that's what I was gonna say.
00:59:15.000 So, do you have brothers and sisters?
00:59:17.000 Yeah, I have a sister.
00:59:18.000 And how old is she compared to you?
00:59:20.000 She's a year younger.
00:59:21.000 And then your parents, you grew up in the house altogether?
00:59:24.000 Yeah.
00:59:25.000 Not divorced?
00:59:25.000 Not my dad.
00:59:26.000 No, we were divorced.
00:59:27.000 My mom got divorced when I was like five.
00:59:30.000 Okay, so that was like me, right?
00:59:32.000 Did she have a lot of boyfriends?
00:59:35.000 No, no.
00:59:36.000 She hooked up with my stepdad, and they've been together ever since.
00:59:38.000 My mom had a lot of boyfriends.
00:59:40.000 Yeah, that's different.
00:59:42.000 Yeah, but anyways, you would walk in a room, Joe Rogan would walk in a room and you'd say something, would they laugh?
00:59:49.000 No, but he thought it was funny.
00:59:50.000 I wasn't a funny person.
00:59:52.000 So you weren't funny, right?
00:59:53.000 You know how I got into comedy is making people laugh when we were doing martial arts, because we were going to fight in tournaments.
01:00:01.000 So we'd all be nervous.
01:00:03.000 And it was like, I would be the one that made everybody laugh, like when we'd be on a bus to go to a tournament to fight.
01:00:08.000 That's hilarious.
01:00:09.000 For real.
01:00:10.000 Do you talk about this?
01:00:11.000 Not really.
01:00:12.000 I mean, maybe I've brought it up before.
01:00:14.000 Yeah, I think it's funny.
01:00:15.000 It's funny, but it's weird.
01:00:16.000 Just the scene of you on a bus with a bunch of kids fucking shooting the shit.
01:00:21.000 Well, one of them to this day, I owe a tremendous debt of gratitude to my friend Steve Graham and my other friend Ed Shorter.
01:00:28.000 They're the guys who talked me into it if it wasn't for them.
01:00:31.000 And Steve Graham is still a dear friend to this day.
01:00:34.000 So you were on the bus, you were going to your wrestling tournaments in Boston.
01:00:38.000 It was kickboxing or taekwondo back then.
01:00:40.000 In Boston?
01:00:41.000 Yeah, in Boston.
01:00:41.000 But you grew up right in Boston.
01:00:43.000 I grew up in Newton, Newton Upper Falls, which is like a suburb of Boston.
01:00:46.000 Is that like by Springfield, Mass?
01:00:48.000 No.
01:00:48.000 Newton is like, it's right off of Route 9, so it's like Natick, in that area.
01:00:57.000 It's pretty close to Boston.
01:00:58.000 You know, it's like not a far drive at all.
01:01:00.000 And I would drive into town to train.
01:01:03.000 My taekwondo school was in Boston.
01:01:05.000 Wow.
01:01:05.000 And we would travel around the country.
01:01:08.000 We'd fly to places and compete.
01:01:10.000 It was like a giant part of my life.
01:01:12.000 Like karate chop shit?
01:01:13.000 Taekwondo tournaments.
01:01:15.000 That's insane.
01:01:15.000 Yeah.
01:01:16.000 And so we were always nervous because guys get knocked out.
01:01:19.000 Guys get kicked in the face.
01:01:20.000 It's terrible.
01:01:21.000 How old were you?
01:01:22.000 I started when I was 15. That's when I started.
01:01:24.000 So this was in high school.
01:01:25.000 Yeah.
01:01:26.000 Yeah, so you're driving to the things.
01:01:28.000 Yeah, so by the time I was 21, I was very successful at it.
01:01:34.000 I was a four-time state champion, and I was competing constantly.
01:01:37.000 I won the US Open, I won a bunch of these big tournaments, like the Bay State Games.
01:01:42.000 Did you ever go against black guys?
01:01:44.000 Yeah.
01:01:44.000 Was it scary?
01:01:45.000 The first time I did, I was nervous.
01:01:46.000 I know, that's what I'm saying.
01:01:48.000 Fuck, right?
01:01:49.000 Did you beat him?
01:01:50.000 But the first black I fought, I knocked out.
01:01:52.000 That was a huge alleviation of my worries.
01:01:55.000 I assume, right?
01:01:58.000 Yeah.
01:01:58.000 That's why I watched...
01:02:00.000 The UFC stuff, and I watch you out there, and I'm like, when you first were doing it, there was no black guys.
01:02:05.000 You know what I mean?
01:02:06.000 I'm thinking, I'm just a guy watching at home, like, where's the fucking black guys?
01:02:09.000 Because they would kill everyone.
01:02:10.000 And now all of a sudden there's black guys, and they're like, oh shit.
01:02:13.000 You know what I mean?
01:02:14.000 Well, what's interesting in boxing, that was always the case, right?
01:02:16.000 But now you're seeing Russians, like Gennady Golovkin, you know, and like...
01:02:21.000 I mean, it's really just a matter of the economic situation, because in the early days of the 1900s, it was a lot of Jews, because, like, Slapsy Maxy Rosenbaum, there was a bunch of Jewish fighters, because,
01:02:36.000 you know, there were Jewish immigrants, and they faced a lot of hostility and poverty, and this was a way out.
01:02:41.000 And then it became Italians, like Rocky Marciano, Rocky Graziano.
01:02:45.000 There's a lot of Italian boxers.
01:02:47.000 And then it became like Puerto Ricans and blacks.
01:02:50.000 And it's mostly, it's a lot of it is disenfranchised people that are looking for some sort of an escape.
01:02:57.000 And it's also a financial thing as well.
01:02:59.000 Yeah, economic problems.
01:02:59.000 It's like Kevin Durant, in a way, I mean.
01:03:02.000 Sure.
01:03:02.000 Playing hoop and like, you know, right?
01:03:04.000 Yeah.
01:03:04.000 I mean, that's their way out.
01:03:05.000 It's their ticket out of poverty, you know?
01:03:07.000 So you're seeing that with Russians now a lot, you know?
01:03:10.000 So you're on the bus, you're with your friends, you're joking around.
01:03:13.000 I would do impressions of people, like, do impressions of our friends having sex.
01:03:17.000 Oh, that's hilarious.
01:03:18.000 Just different things.
01:03:18.000 So then one day they said you'd go to Comedy Connection in Boston?
01:03:22.000 No, my friend Steve said, you know, you're funny.
01:03:26.000 Like, you're really funny.
01:03:27.000 And I was like, look...
01:03:29.000 I make you laugh because you're my friend.
01:03:30.000 I'm like, other people are going to think I'm an asshole.
01:03:32.000 Right.
01:03:32.000 Because especially in Boston, which is like a really conservative place, my sense of humor was very fucked up because these people were fighters, you know?
01:03:41.000 So there was all these black belts who were competing on a national level, traveling all around the country.
01:03:46.000 Like, they were very intense people, so you could say fucked up things to them to make them laugh.
01:03:51.000 Like, their borders, their boundaries were very different than the average person, because they were experiencing such a...
01:03:58.000 Like, I assumed cops would be a lot like that, too, and maybe even soldiers.
01:04:01.000 Cops I talked to, like a lot of cops that I would train with, too, they had the most fucked up senses of humor.
01:04:07.000 Hilarious.
01:04:07.000 Because they would be seeing gunshot wounds all the time, and, you know, and there was...
01:04:12.000 A lot of jokes they would tell as the guy was dead.
01:04:16.000 They would be over the guy's body making jokes when no one was around.
01:04:20.000 And people would think it's disrespectful, but a lot of it is the human brain is not supposed to experience that kind of stress that a cop or soldier experiences.
01:04:29.000 And gallows humor, as it were, that's what a lot of them would turn to for some sort of a relief.
01:04:35.000 So what I did is I went to an open mic night and I watched This is actually a Richard Jenney quote.
01:04:42.000 It's a great quote.
01:04:43.000 He's right.
01:04:44.000 He said, one of the great things about terrible comedians is they inspire other people to try it.
01:04:49.000 Because you watch them and you go, well, this guy's fucking terrible.
01:04:51.000 At least if I suck, I won't suck that bad.
01:04:54.000 So my idea of stand-up is I would go to some place and I would see like Robin Williams and Richard Pryor and all these people that were just like gods.
01:05:02.000 And I would be like, There's no way I'm going to be able to go up there and do that.
01:05:05.000 But when I went to an open mic night, I realized that, oh no, these people, it's just like being a white belt in martial arts.
01:05:11.000 Like they're starting from the beginning.
01:05:12.000 And so that's why I signed up for it.
01:05:15.000 And this was at which club was it?
01:05:16.000 Stitches.
01:05:16.000 Stitches in Boston in the 80s, right?
01:05:18.000 88. Yeah.
01:05:19.000 August 27th, 1988. That's funny.
01:05:22.000 I started, my first one was September 25th, 1985. That was my first time.
01:05:30.000 Man.
01:05:31.000 Isn't it crazy to think back?
01:05:33.000 Time just keeps moving on, Pauly.
01:05:35.000 It's not cool.
01:05:37.000 It's weird, right?
01:05:38.000 It's definitely weird.
01:05:40.000 Yeah.
01:05:41.000 Yeah.
01:05:41.000 It never ends.
01:05:42.000 It's not going to.
01:05:44.000 Keeps going.
01:05:45.000 You have a family now.
01:05:46.000 Yeah.
01:05:47.000 How many kids?
01:05:48.000 Three.
01:05:48.000 Wow.
01:05:49.000 I know.
01:05:50.000 Is it nuts?
01:05:51.000 How come you have no desire?
01:05:53.000 None whatsoever?
01:05:54.000 Um, yes.
01:05:56.000 Yes.
01:05:57.000 Yes.
01:05:57.000 But you gotta find the right gal.
01:05:59.000 Or guy.
01:06:00.000 Yeah.
01:06:00.000 You never know, right?
01:06:02.000 In this day and age?
01:06:03.000 I saw an article the other day.
01:06:05.000 It said, transgender man gave birth to baby.
01:06:10.000 And then Ben Shapiro retweeted it.
01:06:13.000 Woman gave birth.
01:06:14.000 Right.
01:06:15.000 Yeah.
01:06:16.000 Just...
01:06:18.000 I'm feeling it more now that I'm getting older because at the bottom line is, you know, I don't want to, well, you know, Larry King, Michael Douglas, Letterman, these guys have their kids in their late 60s.
01:06:30.000 Yeah, way late.
01:06:31.000 That's not cool.
01:06:31.000 Yeah.
01:06:32.000 You know what I mean?
01:06:33.000 Nah, you can still do it.
01:06:34.000 You can do it if you get in, like, right now.
01:06:37.000 If there's anyone listening, just tweet their photos at Joe Rogan.
01:06:43.000 Freeze your jizz.
01:06:44.000 It's time to start freezing jizz.
01:06:45.000 Yeah, exactly, right?
01:06:46.000 I should get Whitney Cummings pregnant.
01:06:47.000 What do you think about that?
01:06:49.000 You'd have to talk to her and see if that's something she'd be interested in.
01:06:52.000 I would imagine she would not be interested in it.
01:06:55.000 She wouldn't, right?
01:06:55.000 She wouldn't want my semen?
01:06:57.000 You'd have to talk to her.
01:06:59.000 To be clear, I wouldn't want to decide for her.
01:07:01.000 Or it could be Eliza.
01:07:03.000 I think she's getting married.
01:07:04.000 Yeah, but I think she missed the boat.
01:07:06.000 Ooh, I don't know.
01:07:09.000 Why would you want to get married to a comedian?
01:07:11.000 I know you are.
01:07:11.000 But why would you want to get married to a comedian?
01:07:13.000 No, I wouldn't.
01:07:13.000 I wouldn't.
01:07:14.000 I'm just kidding.
01:07:15.000 Yeah.
01:07:15.000 I don't know, man.
01:07:16.000 It's like there's pros and cons.
01:07:18.000 You know, like...
01:07:19.000 Ari's one of my best friends, and Ari travels the world, and he experiences a life that's very...
01:07:25.000 I mean, you know what Ari just did?
01:07:27.000 Where he took three months off, actually four months, and just vanished.
01:07:31.000 Didn't talk to anybody, didn't bring a laptop.
01:07:33.000 Yeah, he did the Chappelle thing.
01:07:34.000 More than that, he went to Vietnam and Cambodia and...
01:07:38.000 No, I don't know, Cambodia.
01:07:40.000 Thailand.
01:07:41.000 He went all over the place.
01:07:42.000 But he did it by himself, like, with no one.
01:07:45.000 And just met people, experienced things, and just...
01:07:47.000 And no one knew who he was?
01:07:49.000 I mean, a few people recognized him and they took pictures with him and put him on Facebook.
01:07:52.000 And that's how we found out he was still alive.
01:07:54.000 But it was weird.
01:07:55.000 But he just decided like, hey, I just want to just have an adventure.
01:07:59.000 That's something obviously is out of the question when you have children.
01:08:02.000 You can't do that.
01:08:03.000 So there's pros in that.
01:08:06.000 I wouldn't want to.
01:08:07.000 That's not me.
01:08:08.000 I wouldn't want to disappear for four months.
01:08:10.000 No kids or kids.
01:08:11.000 It's just like, I don't have that desire.
01:08:14.000 For him.
01:08:14.000 But the desire to do an adventure, to just go someplace for a couple of weeks is cool, but when you have kids, especially if you have little girls that wait for you, and you talk to them on the phone, they can't wait to see you, it's a different world, you know?
01:08:27.000 How old are you now?
01:08:29.000 I'm almost 50. I'll be 50 tomorrow.
01:08:33.000 Happy birthday, Joe.
01:08:35.000 Thank you, Paul.
01:08:36.000 That's amazing.
01:08:36.000 Thank you very much.
01:08:37.000 Are you doing a big 50th thing, really?
01:08:40.000 No, no, no.
01:08:41.000 I think birthday parties are bullshit.
01:08:43.000 It's like, look at me.
01:08:45.000 I went to a friend of mine's birthday party.
01:08:46.000 It was his 50th birthday party.
01:08:48.000 It was so annoying.
01:08:49.000 They played a video.
01:08:50.000 We had to watch a video, and it was like 20 minutes.
01:08:53.000 And I was like, Jesus Christ, when is it over?
01:08:55.000 And then when it was over...
01:08:57.000 His fucking family members and his friends got up and told stories with a microphone, and they held everybody captive with their shitty stories.
01:09:04.000 It was death.
01:09:05.000 It was death.
01:09:06.000 I couldn't wait to get out of there.
01:09:07.000 You know what was funny is that...
01:09:09.000 I shouldn't play this video I have here.
01:09:10.000 That's hilarious.
01:09:12.000 You know, it was weird.
01:09:13.000 Do you ever sometimes dream about things, like when you think things and you have dreams?
01:09:18.000 Mm-hmm.
01:09:18.000 Yeah.
01:09:19.000 I knew I was coming in here today and I had a dream about you.
01:09:22.000 Ooh.
01:09:22.000 Yeah.
01:09:23.000 And it was interesting.
01:09:25.000 I had a dream that we were doing our thing and it was cool.
01:09:28.000 And I said, congratulations on your new show.
01:09:31.000 Your show's been on the air.
01:09:32.000 And it was called The Rogans.
01:09:34.000 And it was you and a camper with your wife and your kids going across America.
01:09:39.000 Yeah.
01:09:39.000 It was like a family, almost like the Griswolds, but the Rogans.
01:09:45.000 But I know that's something you would never do, but it was funny.
01:09:49.000 It was hilarious.
01:09:50.000 It was like on the Travel Channel.
01:09:51.000 And it was like you guys fishing and eating and just...
01:09:55.000 How hilarious would that be?
01:09:57.000 It would be kind of hilarious, but it's kind of gross, too, because whenever I see people that have their kids on these reality shows, I'm like, you're not even letting that kid choose.
01:10:05.000 You don't even give that kid a choice to be famous, like Honey Boo Boo or any of those fucking people.
01:10:10.000 You're just putting your kid on TV before your kid even understands the consequences of it.
01:10:15.000 I mean, at least when you got on television, you were in your 20s.
01:10:18.000 You kind of were an adult.
01:10:20.000 You kind of got it.
01:10:22.000 I mean, it was young, and I'm sure it was weird to grow up in the spotlight like that, but at least you were a grown-up.
01:10:30.000 Yeah, I understand.
01:10:30.000 You know, when you see people that have their babies on TV and children on TV, like, what the fuck are you doing?
01:10:36.000 Do you not know, as a person who's on TV, that this could be, like, emotionally devastating?
01:10:41.000 Detrimental for them, yeah.
01:10:42.000 Just if they read the comments.
01:10:45.000 Just if they went to, you know, Instagram or YouTube and read the comments, like, Jesus Christ, you know?
01:10:51.000 Yeah, well look at child actors.
01:10:53.000 You know what I mean?
01:10:54.000 They're all nuts.
01:10:54.000 They're messed up.
01:10:55.000 You know what I did recently?
01:10:57.000 Is it Comic Con?
01:10:58.000 You know what that is?
01:10:59.000 Yeah, sure.
01:11:00.000 But you know that you sign things?
01:11:02.000 It's hilarious.
01:11:04.000 You did it?
01:11:05.000 Yeah, I did.
01:11:05.000 So you sat down in one of those booths?
01:11:06.000 Yeah, it was like, I'd never done it.
01:11:08.000 My friend of mine in San Antonio hooked me up with this agent.
01:11:12.000 And he just, you know, they give you, you know, they pay you, obviously, and you fly in, and there's basically Comic Cons, as you know, it's all like, you know, people are dressed as Superman and Batman, and, you know, all these, but then there's the section with celebrities.
01:11:26.000 So there's a lot of, like, people from Breaking Bad, there was a lot of people from Walking Dead, but then there was, like, Rob Schneider was in a booth, you know what I mean?
01:11:35.000 Val Kilmer was in a booth, and he's got, like, throat cancer.
01:11:38.000 Val Kilmer has throat cancer?
01:11:40.000 Yeah, dude.
01:11:40.000 It's fucking...
01:11:41.000 Yeah.
01:11:42.000 It's not cool.
01:11:43.000 And then you got, like, Dolph Lundgren there.
01:11:46.000 I didn't know Val Kilmer had throat cancer.
01:11:48.000 That sucks.
01:11:49.000 Oh, yeah.
01:11:50.000 He's not old.
01:11:51.000 No.
01:11:51.000 I mean, he's like 45 or something like that, isn't he?
01:11:54.000 Yeah, he's young.
01:11:54.000 Fuck, man.
01:11:55.000 Yeah, so it was just...
01:11:56.000 It was a weird kind of experience.
01:11:59.000 It was, like, awesome, and it was also not awesome.
01:12:01.000 Dude, Val Kilmer is the shit.
01:12:03.000 In Tombstone, what does it say?
01:12:05.000 Spotted with a breathing aid...
01:12:08.000 Oh, wow.
01:12:10.000 Yeah, it's terrible.
01:12:11.000 Fuck, man.
01:12:12.000 Yeah, it's a fucking, it's terrible.
01:12:14.000 Well, he's had some crazy ups and downs with his weight to the point where he gotta go, like, look at those pictures of him on the far right.
01:12:23.000 Look at those pictures.
01:12:24.000 Wow.
01:12:25.000 Like, that was in the massive alcoholic days.
01:12:29.000 I mean, there's nothing that does that to you like that other than massive eating and alcoholism.
01:12:35.000 That's so sad.
01:12:39.000 It's weird, man.
01:12:40.000 People just abuse the shit out of their body like that.
01:12:44.000 What about Sizemore?
01:12:45.000 Throat cancer.
01:12:46.000 What happened to him?
01:12:47.000 He was...
01:12:47.000 Yeah, let's look at him.
01:12:49.000 Where's he at?
01:12:49.000 He was...
01:12:50.000 He's a friend of mine, and I don't...
01:12:52.000 I don't know.
01:12:53.000 He's...
01:12:53.000 He had some drug issues.
01:12:55.000 Yeah, some drug issues.
01:12:56.000 Serious drug issues.
01:12:57.000 Yeah.
01:12:57.000 He was like...
01:12:58.000 He was a great actor, right?
01:12:59.000 Fuck yeah.
01:13:00.000 Fuck, dude.
01:13:01.000 Amazing.
01:13:01.000 Yeah.
01:13:02.000 I mean, and also, like, so many movies.
01:13:05.000 He's a savage.
01:13:06.000 Yeah.
01:13:06.000 Oh, and I saw Michael Madsen there, too.
01:13:08.000 Oh, yeah?
01:13:09.000 Yeah.
01:13:09.000 God, man.
01:13:10.000 I know.
01:13:10.000 It's a bummer.
01:13:11.000 It was like...
01:13:13.000 It's a bummer.
01:13:14.000 Well, you have a good sense of humor about the demise of your film career.
01:13:19.000 I've seen you joke around about it on stage, about trying to get TMZ, like, hey, pay attention to me, man, I'm over here.
01:13:28.000 You have to.
01:13:29.000 Yes.
01:13:29.000 Yeah, I think you have to.
01:13:31.000 Yeah.
01:13:31.000 And the fact is, I still have all my money.
01:13:33.000 Yeah.
01:13:33.000 So I didn't, like...
01:13:35.000 Right.
01:13:35.000 You didn't go crazy.
01:13:36.000 No.
01:13:37.000 No.
01:13:37.000 I mean, I still own my house.
01:13:38.000 I don't live in it.
01:13:39.000 I live in Silver Lake.
01:13:40.000 I have an apartment out there, which I enjoy.
01:13:43.000 I like Silver Lake.
01:13:44.000 But would I like to live in my big mansion up in the hill?
01:13:48.000 I don't know.
01:13:48.000 Would you rent it out?
01:13:49.000 Yeah, lease it out.
01:13:50.000 That's smart.
01:13:51.000 Yeah, lease it out.
01:13:51.000 It's a good way to do it.
01:13:52.000 Yeah.
01:13:53.000 And I'm one person.
01:13:55.000 Right.
01:13:55.000 So...
01:13:57.000 Yeah, that was the one thing.
01:13:58.000 You like living in Silver Lake?
01:13:59.000 I like it.
01:14:00.000 It's pretty cool.
01:14:00.000 What do you like about Silver Lake?
01:14:01.000 I never understood Silver Lake.
01:14:05.000 No one bugs you there.
01:14:07.000 There's no tour buses.
01:14:08.000 There's no billboards.
01:14:09.000 There's no Starbucks.
01:14:10.000 There's none of that stuff.
01:14:11.000 It's different than the Valley.
01:14:12.000 It's all really cool restaurants, really cool bars, really nice people.
01:14:20.000 It's all craft stuff.
01:14:20.000 People are very quiet.
01:14:21.000 You can write.
01:14:22.000 It's very creative.
01:14:23.000 It reminds me of the East Village in New York.
01:14:25.000 That's the vibe.
01:14:27.000 So if you ever go out to the east...
01:14:28.000 I know Bill Burr lives in Los Feliz.
01:14:31.000 And that whole area, it's pretty cool.
01:14:33.000 And the thing that I really like about it is the architecture there is still old Hollywood.
01:14:39.000 I love the old buildings.
01:14:40.000 The building that I live in is in the 1920s.
01:14:43.000 So it's got that history.
01:14:45.000 And I love that.
01:14:46.000 I love that history.
01:14:48.000 I don't like Sunset now.
01:14:50.000 I drive by Sunset.
01:14:51.000 I kind of like...
01:14:52.000 You know what I mean?
01:14:53.000 Like the store and...
01:14:54.000 What, the Roxy and the Rainbow are the only places left.
01:14:57.000 I know, right?
01:14:58.000 Isn't it weird when they chop down the House of Blues?
01:15:01.000 Yeah, it's weird.
01:15:01.000 The cool thing is the view now.
01:15:03.000 The view from the store is sick.
01:15:04.000 Yeah, but what they're probably going to do is build something bigger, though.
01:15:07.000 They're going to build a boutique hotel.
01:15:08.000 They're going to build a high-rise.
01:15:10.000 What do you think about the store and the future of the store?
01:15:12.000 I mean, you're a thought about it.
01:15:14.000 It's never been doing better than it is now.
01:15:17.000 It's amazing how packed it is.
01:15:18.000 I mean, it's sold out every night.
01:15:20.000 It's constant.
01:15:21.000 But what do you think about the building itself?
01:15:24.000 In what way?
01:15:25.000 Keeping it or not keeping it.
01:15:28.000 What else would you do?
01:15:29.000 Well, I mean, I wouldn't do it, but I'm just saying if someone came in and offered a whole bunch of money to knock it down and build a hotel.
01:15:37.000 Dude.
01:15:37.000 I mean, what would you think?
01:15:39.000 Well, it would suck for comedy, for sure.
01:15:41.000 But the laugh factor is probably not doing so high.
01:15:44.000 You'd probably take that motherfucker over.
01:15:46.000 Take the Laugh Factory over?
01:15:48.000 Move down the street.
01:15:49.000 But the room's not that great of a room.
01:15:52.000 No, but you might be able to do something else.
01:15:54.000 Well, the thing is, the Comedy Store is perfect.
01:15:57.000 That's part of the problem.
01:15:59.000 I mean, it literally is perfect.
01:16:01.000 I mean, you have three different...
01:16:02.000 Like, Wednesday night, I did the hat trick.
01:16:04.000 I started out in the belly room, or Tuesday night.
01:16:07.000 I started out in the belly room, I did a set in the main room, and I did a set in the OR. You know, there's not a place in the country where you could do that, where you can perform in front of 90 people, 400 people, and then 150 people.
01:16:20.000 Mm-hmm.
01:16:20.000 I mean, and every show was sold out, too.
01:16:22.000 On a fucking Tuesday night, man.
01:16:24.000 Tuesday night, three sold-out shows in Hollywood, you know?
01:16:28.000 And for me to work out my material, like, it's so invaluable, you know?
01:16:34.000 I like to do the Ice House.
01:16:35.000 Like, I did the Ice House last night.
01:16:36.000 Did, like, 35 minutes, and I did it with Andrew Santino and Tom Segura and Tom Papa and Frank Castillo.
01:16:44.000 And, you know, it's just these killer lineups.
01:16:46.000 And you get...
01:16:47.000 Awesome shows.
01:16:48.000 The people get to have a great time.
01:16:50.000 You get to work out and fuck around.
01:16:52.000 These clubs around here are so critical.
01:16:55.000 They're so important.
01:16:57.000 If someone came along and bought the comic store, it would be the end of a giant era.
01:17:02.000 It would be devastating.
01:17:05.000 What do you think about it?
01:17:07.000 I think what my mom thinks is leave it alone.
01:17:09.000 Yeah.
01:17:10.000 I wouldn't knock it down.
01:17:12.000 Well, who would be responsible?
01:17:13.000 Who is in charge now?
01:17:16.000 Well, I'm not in charge.
01:17:17.000 Right.
01:17:18.000 Is it Peter?
01:17:19.000 Peter, yeah.
01:17:20.000 Yeah.
01:17:22.000 Well, the good thing is that the Comedy Store is making money now.
01:17:25.000 And a lot of money.
01:17:26.000 It's doing really well.
01:17:28.000 Thanks to guys like you.
01:17:29.000 Coming around for sure.
01:17:31.000 My pleasure.
01:17:31.000 I hope it keeps coming.
01:17:34.000 Look, it's the most iconic comedy club in the history of the known universe.
01:17:38.000 I agree.
01:17:39.000 It's my heart.
01:17:40.000 You know what I mean?
01:17:40.000 It's where I've been my whole life.
01:17:41.000 I walk into that place every day.
01:17:43.000 And I feel like I'm walking inside my mom.
01:17:45.000 You know what I mean?
01:17:47.000 Yeah.
01:17:47.000 You know what I mean?
01:17:48.000 Like, I really feel like when I'm there, I feel her.
01:17:52.000 Don't you?
01:17:52.000 Oh, yeah, man.
01:17:53.000 Oh, yeah.
01:17:53.000 And it's like, you know the bar in the back room, that bar, I took it from the Doheny house.
01:18:01.000 Oh, that's right, yeah.
01:18:03.000 Yeah, because that bar was in my mom's house, and that's the bar that Kenison and Pryor and everyone got fucked up on.
01:18:11.000 And when we sold the house, I was cleaning it out.
01:18:16.000 That's one of the things in the Doc series, is I'm like, keep this bar, because it's great.
01:18:21.000 And then I had Juan Carlos pick it up, and we brought it over to Eric in the back room, and we saved it for you guys.
01:18:29.000 That's amazing.
01:18:30.000 I did that, you know, so the comics can have that feeling.
01:18:33.000 Yeah.
01:18:33.000 You know, of like...
01:18:35.000 Because that bar, the Doheny House, is as iconic as the Comedy Store.
01:18:40.000 Yeah.
01:18:40.000 You know, because that's the house.
01:18:42.000 That was like the Comedy Mansion.
01:18:44.000 Well, you know, that's Crest Hill, right?
01:18:46.000 No.
01:18:46.000 No, the Doheny House from my mom.
01:18:48.000 See, I never went to that, but I almost bought Crest Hill.
01:18:51.000 Okay.
01:18:51.000 You know when Crest Hill was for sale a few years back?
01:18:53.000 I went to look at it and I was going to buy it.
01:18:54.000 That would have been perfect for you.
01:18:56.000 Yeah, but...
01:18:57.000 The vibe?
01:18:57.000 It was just...
01:18:58.000 I lived there for a while.
01:19:00.000 I couldn't commit to living right there.
01:19:01.000 Yeah.
01:19:02.000 I was like, this is just too derelict.
01:19:04.000 Like, I've always been the guy who likes to live away from stuff and then, like, come in and then get some quiet and peace.
01:19:11.000 I'm like, this might be too much to be, like, right above the comedy store and just like...
01:19:16.000 It might be like, I might burn out.
01:19:18.000 You know what I mean?
01:19:21.000 You know what I'm saying?
01:19:22.000 But like that room, it's interesting because that back bar is a new place, but it doesn't feel like a new place.
01:19:28.000 It feels like probably because of that bar and also because it's in the store.
01:19:33.000 But it's also the old video room.
01:19:35.000 Right.
01:19:35.000 That's where my mom did.
01:19:36.000 It was like the comedy channel.
01:19:38.000 That's where she kept all her old videos.
01:19:39.000 So it feels like, you know, that...
01:19:41.000 That bar's amazing.
01:19:42.000 That vibe, yeah.
01:19:43.000 It's the coolest place.
01:19:44.000 You go back there and Ron White will be back there holding court.
01:19:46.000 Except when DeLea's there throwing his hair around.
01:19:47.000 That doesn't work for me, bro.
01:19:49.000 You know what I mean?
01:19:50.000 That's not cool, bro.
01:19:53.000 D'Elia's hilarious.
01:19:55.000 Hey, man.
01:19:55.000 Hey, man.
01:19:56.000 What's going on, man?
01:19:56.000 It's hilarious.
01:19:58.000 He is hilarious.
01:19:59.000 I mean, it's a great crew there now.
01:20:01.000 I mean, there's so many funny comics there.
01:20:02.000 It's really an amazing time.
01:20:04.000 Yeah.
01:20:04.000 It's also like a lot of people like, you know, for me, because I've seen the decades of it, there's still nothing like the Kennison in the prior days.
01:20:12.000 You know, like I watch everyone in the back and I'm like, they're killing.
01:20:16.000 But for some reason it just doesn't feel like I felt when I was one of the reasons why because back then and there would never been anything like that You know, I mean you think about prior before prior came around who the fuck was like prior?
01:20:28.000 No one, you know and Kenison Kenison was a completely unique kind of talent There'd never been anybody like him before and so now you've seen so much since then They'll never be that uniquely innocent time where people are like Yeah, but, you know,
01:20:44.000 to respond to the Pryor thing, when he would, because I saw him for years develop his show there at the store, when he would walk on stage and they would say, ladies and gentlemen, Richard Pryor, it was like, fucking Jesus.
01:20:59.000 It was like, people literally would stand up and be like, no way, fuck, huh, what?
01:21:04.000 It was like that type of shit.
01:21:06.000 Like Elvis.
01:21:06.000 Yeah, like that type of shit.
01:21:08.000 So I saw that.
01:21:09.000 And there was something so obviously...
01:21:11.000 He was just so funny, dude.
01:21:13.000 You know what I mean?
01:21:14.000 Like even if his material wasn't funny that night, he was just funny.
01:21:18.000 He's a genius.
01:21:19.000 Yeah.
01:21:19.000 Like a real comedy genius.
01:21:21.000 And, you know, probably one of the most influential stand-up comedians ever.
01:21:25.000 Him and Kinnison.
01:21:26.000 I think Kinnison...
01:21:27.000 I mean, I think obviously Pryor was before him and Kinnison learned a lot from Pryor.
01:21:31.000 Yeah.
01:21:31.000 McKinnison was very groundbreaking in a lot of ways.
01:21:34.000 There's never been anybody like him before.
01:21:36.000 Yeah, and it's also before Sam got into too much of the drugs.
01:21:39.000 He had that five-year run, which was fucking insane.
01:21:42.000 And I know I was on that run, too, with him.
01:21:44.000 I was opening for him for a while on the road.
01:21:47.000 And then he started going off the deep end.
01:21:51.000 Yeah, nobody can sustain that.
01:21:52.000 Did you ever read his brother's book?
01:21:55.000 Brother Sam?
01:21:56.000 I didn't read.
01:21:57.000 No, I didn't read.
01:21:58.000 It's a great book.
01:21:58.000 Yeah.
01:21:58.000 And in it, his brother sort of talks about how Sam just kind of stopped writing because he was partying all the time and his material suffered and you could really feel the difference.
01:22:07.000 And nobody could live that rock and roll crazy drug life and still be an awesome creative force.
01:22:14.000 Creativity demands your attention.
01:22:16.000 Yeah.
01:22:16.000 I mean, I got so many stories with this.
01:22:19.000 It's fucking insane.
01:22:21.000 But his Rodney Dangerfield Young Comedian specials were like fucking...
01:22:26.000 The second one was just as good as the first one.
01:22:28.000 Yep.
01:22:29.000 You know, the first spot.
01:22:30.000 He was a fucking genius.
01:22:31.000 Dude, I gotta get out of here, unfortunately.
01:22:33.000 No, it's all good.
01:22:33.000 I gotta squeeze this in today to get you on, but I wanted everybody to know about it.
01:22:37.000 And so tell people where they can see this on Funny or Die.
01:22:39.000 Yeah, just go to Funny or Die.
01:22:40.000 Check out the Stephen Miller clip.
01:22:42.000 Also, Crackle, my show on Crackle.
01:22:44.000 And I'll be coming out with some documentary stuff.
01:22:47.000 And Pauly Shore Stands Alone is on Amazon right now, if you haven't seen that.
01:22:51.000 And Pauly Shore on Twitter.
01:22:52.000 Which is Pauly Shore.
01:22:54.000 Instagram?
01:22:54.000 Instagram, Pauly Shore, Snap, Pauly Shore.
01:22:57.000 It's MySpace, Corey Feldman.
01:23:01.000 All right, brother.
01:23:02.000 I'll see you at the store.
01:23:03.000 Thank you.
01:23:03.000 Thank you.
01:23:04.000 Pauly Shore, ladies and gentlemen.