The Joe Rogan Experience - JRE MMA Show #43 with Brendan Schaub

00:00:00.000 Still no main event for a mess quicker.

00:00:02.000 I don't know.

00:00:02.000 Four, three, two, one.

00:00:07.000 Booyah!

00:00:07.000 Yeah, no main event for Madison Square Garden so far.

00:00:10.000 The rumors were John Jones and Gustafson, but I don't know.

00:00:15.000 I don't know.

00:00:16.000 I don't know why that hasn't materialized.

00:00:18.000 Are they just waiting to announce it till after the whole Connor-Khabib thing?

00:00:21.000 Why would they do that?

00:00:22.000 I think if they announce something, it's got to be this weekend.

00:00:26.000 I mean, what is it, November 3rd or something?

00:00:28.000 It's soon.

00:00:29.000 So it's a month.

00:00:30.000 Super soon.

00:00:30.000 Literally a month.

00:00:32.000 Today's the third, right?

00:00:33.000 Second?

00:00:34.000 Today's the second.

00:00:35.000 Today's the second.

00:00:36.000 Yeah.

00:00:36.000 Fuck, man.

00:00:37.000 That ain't good.

00:00:39.000 Yeah, maybe they just don't want to steal any shine from the Conor Khabib fight.

00:00:44.000 I don't think so.

00:00:45.000 I think they just don't have a card yet.

00:00:47.000 I think they were banking on Jones to fill that main event, but it's been tricky to fill that slot.

00:00:53.000 But also...

00:00:54.000 Why not have, if you're going to do this, why not announce Nate Diaz-Desimportia as your main event?

00:01:00.000 That's a great main event.

00:01:01.000 I can ride with that.

00:01:03.000 Why not do that and then announce John Jones and Gus Finn or John Jones and Kane if you want to?

00:01:09.000 But the main event is to be announced versus to be determined.

00:01:13.000 That's the weirdest main event I've ever seen.

00:01:14.000 I've never seen a fucking pay-per-view a month out that says to be announced versus to be determined in the main event.

00:01:22.000 Does that mean they have somebody booked and then they're not an opponent for them and they're not announcing it?

00:01:27.000 Or they just decided to just be funny and write both verses?

00:01:30.000 That's a very good point, Jamie.

00:01:30.000 That's a good point, Jamie.

00:01:31.000 That's a very good point.

00:01:32.000 I would say they have no idea.

00:01:33.000 I think you just nailed it.

00:01:34.000 I think they have a guy that they want to fight another guy.

00:01:38.000 I'd heard, actually I heard from you.

00:01:42.000 Damn, bro!

00:01:44.000 They were trying to do John Jones versus Kane.

00:01:47.000 That was the rumor mill that I got.

00:01:49.000 Little birdie told me.

00:01:50.000 Yeah, I'm all over that.

00:01:52.000 I would be all over that.

00:01:54.000 This card's actually better than this weekend's card.

00:01:57.000 Stylebenders fighting Derek Brunson.

00:01:58.000 That's a great fight.

00:01:59.000 That's the sleeper.

00:02:00.000 That's the sleeper on that card right there.

00:02:02.000 We got Luke Rockwell, Chris Weidman, too.

00:02:04.000 Woo!

00:02:05.000 That's a good fight too.

00:02:06.000 Jacare and David Branch ain't terrible either.

00:02:09.000 Where is Rockhold Weidman on there?

00:02:11.000 The bottom middle.

00:02:12.000 What?

00:02:14.000 They're not in order yet.

00:02:15.000 Oh.

00:02:15.000 What?

00:02:16.000 This thing's all over the place.

00:02:17.000 It's like a puzzle?

00:02:18.000 The guy who runs the UFC website took the month off.

00:02:22.000 Rockhold vs.

00:02:23.000 Weidman.

00:02:23.000 Very interesting.

00:02:24.000 Listen, Gegard Mousasi, that guy is the fucking sleeper of the 185 pound division.

00:02:31.000 The fact that he went over to Bellator, very fucking fascinating to me.

00:02:36.000 He just wrecked Rory McDonald.

00:02:38.000 Completely wrecked him.

00:02:39.000 It's tough to watch.

00:02:40.000 Roy should not be fighting at 185 pounds.

00:02:43.000 Especially against a guy who's fought at 205. He's held titles at 205. I agree.

00:02:47.000 Especially a guy in Gegard Mousasi who's just as talented, just as skilled.

00:02:51.000 Maybe better.

00:02:52.000 Might be better in some other aspects.

00:02:54.000 Then when you go skill for skill, then size comes into play.

00:02:58.000 And you saw how that pans out.

00:02:59.000 Bert Kreischer says Mousasi has a giant dick.

00:03:01.000 How would he know?

00:03:02.000 He was in a sauna next to him.

00:03:04.000 Oh, that makes sense, though.

00:03:05.000 You know what?

00:03:06.000 Mousasi has that big dick energy.

00:03:08.000 Ha ha!

00:03:09.000 He just carries himself like a straight badass, doesn't he?

00:03:13.000 He does.

00:03:14.000 Nothing really gets him going.

00:03:15.000 You know why?

00:03:16.000 Because he's a giant dick.

00:03:18.000 Giant dick.

00:03:18.000 You know what?

00:03:19.000 Bird's probably right on this.

00:03:20.000 Makes sense.

00:03:21.000 God, this makes sense!

00:03:23.000 You're brilliant, Bert Kreischer.

00:03:25.000 Well, he saw it.

00:03:26.000 I mean, it's not even like he figured it out.

00:03:28.000 I mean, he's got, like, eyewitness.

00:03:31.000 He's seen that thing.

00:03:32.000 Who's there, who's in the room.

00:03:33.000 Nothing's ever made more sense than that.

00:03:35.000 He's got a hot cedar box with a big ol' sweaty dick.

00:03:38.000 Dude, that gay guard Amsterdam dick.

00:03:42.000 Everyone's like, how come he doesn't get more emotional?

00:03:44.000 Because he has the fattest dick in the world.

00:03:46.000 He swore it was bigger than his fucking water bottle.

00:03:48.000 I go, fatter?

00:03:50.000 Fatter than the water bottle!

00:03:51.000 He goes, dude, I'm telling you, it was giant.

00:03:54.000 I'm like, wow.

00:03:55.000 Alright.

00:03:56.000 That makes sense, man.

00:03:57.000 It does make a lot of sense.

00:03:58.000 Yeah, but Gegard, Mousasi, now Bellator's an interesting kind of predicament because they have that welterweight tournament going on.

00:04:04.000 Now you have your champ, who's going to enter the tournament as the title holder.

00:04:07.000 In the first round, he's supposed to fight John Fitch, who isn't an easy fight, but he's just coming off a loss and got destroyed.

00:04:13.000 And also, it looks like he had some nose damage, which was his issue before.

00:04:18.000 Yeah, his nose had been fucked up for a long time.

00:04:21.000 And, you know, he decided to take a whole year off just to try to fix his nose.

00:04:25.000 Just try to let it heal.

00:04:27.000 That's serious.

00:04:28.000 Yeah.

00:04:28.000 Whole year off.

00:04:30.000 I mean, think about it.

00:04:30.000 That was like part of the delay in his initial fight in Bellator.

00:04:35.000 Was that he left the UFC, you know, his nose got smashed in the Robbie Lawler fight.

00:04:39.000 I mean, that was hard to watch.

00:04:40.000 Remember when he was in agony on the ground because his nose was just shattered?

00:04:44.000 Yeah, he said every time he'd get hit, it'd just go white like sparks.

00:04:46.000 He couldn't see anything.

00:04:47.000 Oof.

00:04:48.000 It was a bad injury, man.

00:04:49.000 Well, hey, here it is.

00:04:50.000 There it is.

00:04:51.000 One of the best fights of all time, by the way.

00:04:53.000 One of the greatest fights, for sure.

00:04:54.000 He earned that shit.

00:04:55.000 But now, with Rory, you know, what's sad, too, and it's happened to me, it's happened to some other fighters, I'm sure, but Rory goes, I just didn't feel like fighting.

00:05:06.000 I wasn't in the zone.

00:05:09.000 Just didn't feel like fighting Giger and Musashi that night.

00:05:11.000 Whew.

00:05:12.000 That's an annoying gay guard, you know, Musashi.

00:05:15.000 He doesn't get enough recognition how good he is.

00:05:19.000 He's an absolute monster.

00:05:21.000 You gotta think about all the guys that he's beaten.

00:05:23.000 He's on like a six or seven fight win streak, which includes Chris Weidman, Vitor Belfort, Talos Letis.

00:05:32.000 Who's the guy in Bellator, the former champion?

00:05:37.000 Shlomenko?

00:05:39.000 Yeah, I won't call him Shevchenko, but that's fucked up.

00:05:42.000 That's the girl.

00:05:43.000 Shlomenko, something like that.

00:05:45.000 He's an absolute knight, man.

00:05:46.000 He's a monster.

00:05:47.000 He's a monster.

00:05:47.000 I'm surprised the UFC let him go.

00:05:49.000 Now, when I say let him go, it just didn't match his contract, you know, because Bellator probably offered more, and they're like, ah, we're good.

00:05:55.000 The UFC could use him right now at 185. They certainly could, yeah.

00:05:59.000 Well, I mean, it's like they had Yoel Romero, they've got Robert Rittiger, who's the champ.

00:06:03.000 They've got so much going on at 185, but...

00:06:06.000 Gegard might be the best I mean he's certainly in the running if you looked at it objectively It's entirely possible.

00:06:14.000 If he's not number one, he's number two.

00:06:17.000 Top three easily.

00:06:18.000 Number three, yeah.

00:06:19.000 But also, you look at his fight.

00:06:20.000 If him and Robert Whitaker were to fight, that's not an easy pick-em fight.

00:06:25.000 You'd be like, damn, that's a fucking fight.

00:06:28.000 You might favor Gegard.

00:06:30.000 You don't know.

00:06:30.000 For how big and long he is and scrapping.

00:06:32.000 Listen, Robert Whitaker is a monster.

00:06:34.000 He's phenomenal.

00:06:35.000 He's phenomenal.

00:06:36.000 But so is Musashi.

00:06:38.000 So is Mousasi.

00:06:39.000 And Mousasi has a full game, man.

00:06:41.000 His ground game is phenomenal.

00:06:43.000 And the biggest dick in the division.

00:06:44.000 Giant dick.

00:06:45.000 That has to be taken into consideration for all this.

00:06:48.000 No, Yoel's, I bet it's bigger.

00:06:50.000 No way.

00:06:51.000 I bet it's bigger.

00:06:52.000 No, bro.

00:06:52.000 He doesn't carry that energy.

00:06:53.000 He's too aggressive.

00:06:54.000 What?

00:06:55.000 Yeah, when you're that aggressive, you don't have that fat of a dick.

00:06:57.000 There's no way he looks like that and doesn't have a big dick.

00:07:00.000 I don't know, dude.

00:07:00.000 You see Batman the comic drew a dick, and he's...

00:07:04.000 That's Batman.

00:07:05.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:07:06.000 Yeah, Batman has a dick now.

00:07:08.000 What?

00:07:08.000 The new comic, there's this new kind of X-rated Batman they're coming out with, and they show Batman's dick.

00:07:14.000 That's how I pictured...

00:07:16.000 This isn't even bad.

00:07:16.000 Yo, Romero.

00:07:17.000 This isn't bad.

00:07:18.000 These are millennials.

00:07:19.000 This is nonsense.

00:07:20.000 These are fucking millennials that think they're going to rewrite history.

00:07:23.000 They're making Iron Man a woman.

00:07:24.000 They're crazy.

00:07:25.000 Yeah, that's true.

00:07:26.000 These people are out of their fucking mind.

00:07:27.000 Captain America's now a woman.

00:07:29.000 Yeah.

00:07:30.000 Well, I'm just saying, man.

00:07:31.000 Iron Man's probably gay.

00:07:33.000 There's a weird revolution right now in comics because they're trying to sort of social justice warrior up all the comedy, all the comic books.

00:07:44.000 What's going on?

00:07:45.000 What are you laughing at?

00:07:46.000 It is true.

00:07:47.000 It is true.

00:07:48.000 Hulk Hogan's...

00:07:49.000 Look at this.

00:07:50.000 DC Comics, sorry for showing everyone Batman's penis.

00:07:53.000 That's your old Romero, bro.

00:07:55.000 No, it's good size.

00:07:56.000 That's not real.

00:07:57.000 That's not real.

00:07:58.000 See, that's a comic book, and it's a comic book that's...

00:08:00.000 By the way, it was created in like...

00:08:02.000 Let's just take a guess when Batman was created.

00:08:05.000 I'm going to guess like 1940. Super old school, 1940s, 1950s.

00:08:10.000 You can't rewrite Batman's dick in 2018. Also, think about the guy drawing it.

00:08:15.000 Probably didn't have the biggest dick.

00:08:16.000 Probably his tiny little dick.

00:08:17.000 And just mad.

00:08:18.000 But maybe he thought that was massive.

00:08:20.000 Probably thought it was the biggest dick he's ever seen.

00:08:22.000 Probably scared to watch porn.

00:08:23.000 And then got backlash.

00:08:25.000 He's like, what the fuck?

00:08:26.000 I thought this was a big cock.

00:08:27.000 And was like, no, dude!

00:08:28.000 Not for Batman.

00:08:29.000 It's Batman, you prick.

00:08:31.000 Batman's the weirdest superhero ever because he's basically just a rich guy.

00:08:34.000 He's Elon Musk on steroids and can fight.

00:08:38.000 He's Elon Musk.

00:08:39.000 Yeah, basically.

00:08:40.000 That's what he is.

00:08:40.000 With a bunch of stuff.

00:08:41.000 Yeah, no special skills.

00:08:43.000 Well, he knows how to fight.

00:08:44.000 Yeah.

00:08:45.000 But he doesn't have any superpower.

00:08:47.000 There's nothing.

00:08:48.000 He's just a rich dude.

00:08:49.000 That's why I got angry at that Batman vs.

00:08:51.000 Superman movie.

00:08:51.000 I'm like, bitch, Superman would...

00:08:53.000 First of all, he moves so fast he can make the Earth spin backwards in reverse time.

00:08:58.000 Dude, he has lasers in his eyes for God.

00:09:01.000 There's no fight.

00:09:02.000 But they're like...

00:09:03.000 But Batman made a suit out of Kryptonite.

00:09:08.000 Superman would fuck him up before he even got the suit on.

00:09:11.000 Yeah, it's not even a fight.

00:09:12.000 How's Lex Luthor a valiant, like, adversary for him then?

00:09:16.000 It's not.

00:09:16.000 Okay, well.

00:09:17.000 He just is bored.

00:09:19.000 He's bored.

00:09:20.000 Keeps that dude around like a side piece.

00:09:25.000 He just wants to have some fun.

00:09:26.000 He's like, let this guy pretend he's kicking my ass.

00:09:28.000 Venom drops this weekend.

00:09:30.000 Yeah.

00:09:30.000 Tom Hardy?

00:09:31.000 You know what?

00:09:32.000 Maybe I'm just a Debbie Downer, but I don't know.

00:09:35.000 It looks all right to me.

00:09:36.000 And I know I love Tom Hardy, too.

00:09:40.000 Venom is like an evil Spider-Man?

00:09:42.000 Like, what is that?

00:09:43.000 He's like Spider-Man's alien...

00:09:45.000 It's an alien?

00:09:47.000 Yeah, it's an alien element that grabs someone's body.

00:09:50.000 It's an alien that merges with his body.

00:09:51.000 Yeah, and he's evil.

00:09:54.000 I don't know, dude.

00:09:55.000 Fucking kids today.

00:09:56.000 I know.

00:09:57.000 I know, man.

00:09:58.000 I know.

00:09:59.000 I mean, I guess it's better than remaking the Hulk for the 98th time.

00:10:03.000 I'll take it.

00:10:05.000 I mean, how many Spider-Mans are there now?

00:10:06.000 There's like 80 Spider-Mans.

00:10:07.000 Whenever Spider-Man starts making some money, they go like, nah, playa.

00:10:10.000 We got a new one.

00:10:11.000 We need a new one, bro.

00:10:12.000 We got a new one.

00:10:13.000 Tobey Maguire's my Spider-Man.

00:10:15.000 If you're Spider-Man's anyone else, fuck you.

00:10:17.000 Yeah, fuck you.

00:10:18.000 That's the real Spider-Man.

00:10:19.000 Hell yeah.

00:10:20.000 They had two new ones since him, right?

00:10:24.000 What?

00:10:25.000 Hasn't it been two?

00:10:26.000 One guy that never even got any traction.

00:10:27.000 Tom Holland.

00:10:28.000 Who the fuck's Tom Holland?

00:10:29.000 Sorry, Tom.

00:10:30.000 I'm sure you're wonderful.

00:10:31.000 They want to make Donald Glover Spider-Man.

00:10:33.000 I think he's the voice in this cartoon they just announced today.

00:10:36.000 This comes out.

00:10:37.000 Into the Spider-Verse gets stunning new trailer ahead of New York Comic-Con.

00:10:42.000 I was talking to Chris Pratt about Comic-Con.

00:10:45.000 What'd he say?

00:10:46.000 You know, because he's got to go there for Guardians of the Galaxy.

00:10:48.000 Oh, dude, he's probably like, what the fuck?

00:10:49.000 He goes, I'm in the middle of this place, and I just said to myself...

00:10:54.000 Yeah.

00:10:55.000 I don't belong here.

00:10:56.000 It's a different vibe.

00:10:57.000 He is the nicest guy.

00:10:59.000 He goes to a bunch of UFC events, yeah?

00:11:00.000 Yeah, he's been to one.

00:11:02.000 There's only one.

00:11:03.000 Is that where you talked to him at?

00:11:03.000 Yeah.

00:11:04.000 He came hunting with us in Utah.

00:11:06.000 Oh, nice.

00:11:07.000 Yeah.

00:11:07.000 That's cool.

00:11:08.000 He's the fucking nicest guy.

00:11:09.000 Like, so normal around everybody.

00:11:11.000 Good hunter?

00:11:12.000 Yeah.

00:11:12.000 Real good.

00:11:13.000 Good Archer.

00:11:14.000 People forget he started off as a comedian actor.

00:11:18.000 Yes.

00:11:19.000 He was like the funny guy.

00:11:20.000 What was that show he was on?

00:11:21.000 The Office?

00:11:22.000 Parks and Rec.

00:11:22.000 Parks and Rec, yeah.

00:11:23.000 He was like the funny guy.

00:11:24.000 He was pudgy back then.

00:11:26.000 Now he's all jacked.

00:11:27.000 Isn't it weird someone was like, dude, you're going to be the next action hero.

00:11:30.000 He's like, what?

00:11:31.000 Here's a boatload of steroids to do that.

00:11:33.000 I don't even think it was that.

00:11:34.000 I think he just lost the weight and everybody went, oh, you know, he was a wrestler in high school and college.

00:11:38.000 Was he really?

00:11:38.000 In college?

00:11:39.000 Yeah.

00:11:39.000 Damn.

00:11:40.000 Yeah.

00:11:40.000 Good wrestler.

00:11:42.000 I saw him wrestling with Noguera.

00:11:45.000 He actually looked pretty good.

00:11:47.000 He was wrestling with Noguera?

00:11:48.000 Yeah, there's a video of him wrestling with Noguera Brothers.

00:11:51.000 Yeah, and I was like, damn, that dude knows what he's doing.

00:11:52.000 I had no idea he was wrestling in high school.

00:11:55.000 He bought a farm outside of Seattle.

00:12:01.000 And raises animals and actually has like a farm.

00:12:05.000 Like a real, I think the way they call it, just like very humane, ethical treatment of the animals.

00:12:13.000 Like the animals are all like super adjusted to human beings and when they whack them, they just take them into a room and put one in their brain.

00:12:20.000 And he does it, or this is just his career?

00:12:23.000 Yeah, it's him and Nogueira.

00:12:23.000 Yeah, look at this.

00:12:24.000 But for, you know, I had no idea.

00:12:26.000 I just thought he was a normal actor.

00:12:28.000 Most time when you watch actors, you're like, look at this bullshit.

00:12:30.000 Yeah, no, he knows how to wrestle.

00:12:30.000 But you look at his setup, everything, yeah.

00:12:32.000 Yeah, no, he knows how to wrestle.

00:12:33.000 He wrestled in college and in high school.

00:12:36.000 Well, you know, if he's feeling frisky, the UFC's looking for fighters these days.

00:12:40.000 I don't know what he's looking to do.

00:12:42.000 Good luck paying that guy.

00:12:43.000 That guy's making $20 million a movie.

00:12:45.000 How the fuck are you going to pay him for that?

00:12:46.000 We'll figure it out.

00:12:47.000 That's Star-Lord, bro.

00:12:49.000 I know.

00:12:49.000 Come up with your own whiskey, bro.

00:12:50.000 Who's someone else besides Star-Lord, too?

00:12:52.000 What other movies does he do?

00:12:54.000 Garnet Galaxy.

00:12:55.000 Jurassic Park.

00:12:56.000 That's right.

00:12:57.000 Jurassic Park, too.

00:12:58.000 He's the dinosaur wrangler, bro.

00:13:00.000 He's the dinosaur wrangler, Jurassic Park.

00:13:02.000 He speaks to the raptors.

00:13:04.000 Yeah.

00:13:04.000 And here's the thing.

00:13:06.000 He came in, like, you know, there was already Jurassic Park before.

00:13:11.000 And he came in with a new Jurassic Park.

00:13:13.000 With the hotness.

00:13:13.000 With no hiccups.

00:13:15.000 Zero.

00:13:15.000 No one was like, bullshit with this new Jurassic Park.

00:13:18.000 There was none of that.

00:13:19.000 It got better.

00:13:20.000 Yeah, it got better.

00:13:20.000 Well, the animation got better, too.

00:13:22.000 The animation got way better.

00:13:22.000 The dinosaurs got super legit.

00:13:24.000 I haven't seen the newest one, though.

00:13:25.000 It's fucking badass.

00:13:26.000 Is it good?

00:13:26.000 Yeah.

00:13:27.000 Loved it.

00:13:28.000 Freaked my kid out, though.

00:13:30.000 A little one had to bury her head in my armpit during some of the scenes.

00:13:33.000 Yeah, those fucking things are scary and shit.

00:13:34.000 These things look legit.

00:13:35.000 They look real.

00:13:36.000 You know they're redoing the dress park ride at Universal.

00:13:40.000 They're redoing it?

00:13:40.000 Yeah, they should.

00:13:41.000 It's whack as fuck.

00:13:42.000 Yeah, now it's just that T-Rex.

00:13:43.000 It's terrible.

00:13:44.000 No, I heard an interview.

00:13:46.000 The guy's like, no, we're redoing it with all the new dinosaurs and everything.

00:13:49.000 Yeah, there's some good shit at Universal, and then there's some stuff that you're like, what?

00:13:54.000 Old school.

00:13:55.000 Well, you know what's badass?

00:13:56.000 The Harry Potter ride.

00:13:57.000 Have you taken Little Man to the Harry Potter ride?

00:13:59.000 No, he's not big enough still.

00:14:00.000 He's only two and a half.

00:14:01.000 Oh, that's right.

00:14:01.000 I think you have to be like 40 inches or some shit.

00:14:04.000 But the Jurassic Park ride is whack.

00:14:07.000 You know what's great?

00:14:08.000 The Simpsons.

00:14:09.000 Simpsons is dope.

00:14:10.000 I've done Simpsons.

00:14:11.000 Hilarious!

00:14:11.000 Simpsons is great.

00:14:12.000 That's a great ride.

00:14:13.000 Dude, as a grown-ass man, I got a babysitter for my kid, and me and my girl went too.

00:14:17.000 Six Flags.

00:14:18.000 Oh, dude, Six Flags is badass.

00:14:20.000 So much fun.

00:14:21.000 You know what's surprisingly good?

00:14:23.000 Knott's Berry Farms.

00:14:25.000 It's very old school, a little vintage.

00:14:27.000 Some of the fucking rides are amazing!

00:14:29.000 To me, they're a little suspect, like a year ago.

00:14:33.000 Suspect like they might break?

00:14:34.000 Yeah, like...

00:14:36.000 Like the wood roller coaster.

00:14:38.000 I'm like, really?

00:14:39.000 I didn't go on that one.

00:14:40.000 It's like rattling.

00:14:41.000 Like, when's the last time someone checked this goddamn thing?

00:14:44.000 I didn't go on that one, but I went on one where you're sitting in your seat like this, right?

00:14:48.000 And then you go like this.

00:14:49.000 Clink.

00:14:50.000 You go straight up.

00:14:51.000 So your back, like if you fell, you would fall right on your back.

00:14:56.000 And then you get to the top, and you pause, and then they turn you like this, and then it's, yeah!

00:15:04.000 It was the best roller coasters I've ever been on.

00:15:08.000 Knotts, I have skeptical hippo eyes, because when you get there, their whole theme is Charlie Brown.

00:15:12.000 It's like, who the fuck's watching Charlie Brown these days?

00:15:16.000 Everyone asks if there's Spider-Man, Marvel, you got Disney with Mickey, they got Charlie Brown.

00:15:21.000 My kid's like, who the fuck is Charlie Brown?

00:15:22.000 I didn't even notice Charlie Brown.

00:15:23.000 It was all like, there's a Wild West theme area.

00:15:26.000 Oh, it's random as shit.

00:15:27.000 It's a bunch of random weird things.

00:15:29.000 But their main slogan is Charlie Brown.

00:15:32.000 Well, we had a good time.

00:15:33.000 Me and the family had a good time.

00:15:34.000 We had a good time, man.

00:15:35.000 You know what, I'll tell you what though.

00:15:37.000 Overall best ride I've ever been on, 100%, is Disney World.

00:15:44.000 The Jurassic, not the Jurassic part, the Avatar ride.

00:15:47.000 The Avatar ride in Orlando.

00:15:49.000 It's called Flights of Passage, I think it is.

00:15:52.000 Dude, beyond the greatest ride ever.

00:15:56.000 It's all virtual reality.

00:15:57.000 You climb into a chair, like you're on a motorcycle.

00:16:01.000 It pushes against your back, and you settle into this thing, and then you put these goggles on, like this headset thing on, and you're in full virtual reality, and this is it.

00:16:11.000 This is the one where you're on the boat.

00:16:15.000 There's two actual Avatar rides.

00:16:17.000 This one's pretty dope, too.

00:16:18.000 That looks legit.

00:16:19.000 That looks like Avatar World.

00:16:21.000 Yeah, that's pretty dope, too.

00:16:22.000 That one, you're on a boat like Pirates of the Caribbean.

00:16:25.000 Yeah, this is it.

00:16:26.000 I like the boat.

00:16:27.000 The boat's pretty badass.

00:16:28.000 But this one, you're flying in full virtual reality while you're riding on the back of one of those dragon things.

00:16:34.000 I mean, I've seen better graphics, son, but...

00:16:36.000 No, no, no.

00:16:37.000 You're just not getting a...

00:16:38.000 This isn't doing it.

00:16:38.000 When you're there...

00:16:40.000 Oh, right.

00:16:41.000 Yeah.

00:16:42.000 It sounds nice, though.

00:16:43.000 And if they film their screen, they're not even filming their screen in 3D, right?

00:16:46.000 No, not at all.

00:16:46.000 So he's just using his cell phone.

00:16:47.000 That's why it looks all blurry.

00:16:49.000 Is the line long as shit?

00:16:51.000 Long as shit.

00:16:52.000 Yeah.

00:16:53.000 And then while you're doing it, you get breezes in your face and you smell things.

00:16:58.000 It sounds nice.

00:16:58.000 It's fucking incredible, man.

00:16:59.000 It feels real.

00:17:00.000 It's the best ride I've ever been on, by far.

00:17:03.000 I've been on some dope rides.

00:17:04.000 That's numero uno with a bullet.

00:17:06.000 By far?

00:17:07.000 By far.

00:17:08.000 Oh, wow.

00:17:08.000 Yeah, I did it two times in a row.

00:17:10.000 Dude, I'm a sucker for the...

00:17:11.000 I'm old school.

00:17:11.000 I like the Haunted Mansion.

00:17:13.000 Haunted Mansion's badass.

00:17:13.000 It's one of the old school ones, man.

00:17:15.000 And then they put in...

00:17:16.000 What is it?

00:17:18.000 Nightmare Before Christmas?

00:17:20.000 Yes.

00:17:20.000 Big Jack?

00:17:20.000 Yeah, right around Halloween time.

00:17:23.000 Yeah.

00:17:23.000 I love Halloween.

00:17:24.000 Love it.

00:17:26.000 Yeah.

00:17:27.000 Have you taken him to Disneyland yet?

00:17:28.000 Oh, yeah.

00:17:29.000 Season pass.

00:17:30.000 Oh, it's the shit, right?

00:17:30.000 Sometimes I feel like he's getting spoiled because, you know, when I'm working, my girl, I take him and her friends and they go.

00:17:35.000 He's going.

00:17:36.000 When he's not in school, he's in school now, but two times a week?

00:17:40.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:17:40.000 To Disneyland?

00:17:41.000 Oh, yeah.

00:17:41.000 They go just to chill.

00:17:43.000 That's pretty crazy.

00:17:45.000 That little dude screwed when he gets older.

00:17:46.000 I know.

00:17:46.000 That is crazy.

00:17:47.000 So spoiled.

00:17:48.000 It was such a big deal when I was a kid.

00:17:50.000 It was such a big deal.

00:17:51.000 Didn't you go with Joey Diaz and Joey's family?

00:17:54.000 Did you go with Joey and Joey's family?

00:17:55.000 No, that was Eddie.

00:17:55.000 Oh, that's right.

00:17:56.000 Eddie won't.

00:17:57.000 Yeah, that's got to be a trip.

00:18:00.000 It'll be fun.

00:18:02.000 Disneyland, when you have kids, becomes a totally different thing.

00:18:04.000 It's a special place.

00:18:05.000 Yeah, I was like, before I had kids, I was like, I'm not going to fucking Disneyland.

00:18:10.000 You know?

00:18:11.000 Like, if I was 20 and someone said, hey man, you want to go to Disneyland?

00:18:13.000 I'd be like, why?

00:18:14.000 What are we going to do?

00:18:15.000 We're going to ride a roller coaster and wait for an hour and a half?

00:18:18.000 Split a funnel cake and suck each other off?

00:18:19.000 What's wrong with you, man?

00:18:21.000 And those, what are those fucking, those, the ones, the brown sugar churros.

00:18:27.000 Oh, dude, I love a nice churro.

00:18:29.000 God damn, those are hard to pass out.

00:18:30.000 God, the smell.

00:18:32.000 Dude, you can't be on a diet and go to Disneyland.

00:18:34.000 It's hard.

00:18:35.000 The almonds, they have the almond almonds.

00:18:36.000 They get you, bro.

00:18:38.000 Oh yeah, roasted almonds.

00:18:39.000 The churros do?

00:18:40.000 No, not in the churro, but the stands all over the place.

00:18:43.000 The machines?

00:18:43.000 Yeah, they have the candied almonds.

00:18:46.000 No, they have one thing that's guilt-free, though.

00:18:48.000 That big old turkey leg.

00:18:50.000 That smoked turkey leg.

00:18:51.000 That thing makes me feel sick when I see just these enormous people just chowing down, and then the meat's all pink in the middle for whatever reason.

00:18:59.000 Well, it's smoked.

00:19:00.000 Is everyone out of shape at Disneyland?

00:19:02.000 It's a weird vibe.

00:19:03.000 They're just not out of shape.

00:19:03.000 They're ambulatory.

00:19:04.000 Oh, dude.

00:19:05.000 Yeah.

00:19:05.000 There's more people that can't walk.

00:19:07.000 They're just on scooters because they got so big, their body just stopped moving.

00:19:12.000 God.

00:19:13.000 Yeah.

00:19:13.000 It's a strange vibe there.

00:19:14.000 You can't be on a diet and go to an amusement park.

00:19:17.000 You gotta accept that you're gonna fuck off that day.

00:19:19.000 For sure.

00:19:20.000 That's a fuck off day.

00:19:21.000 That's like, we're gonna get some ice cream, I'm gonna drink a regular soda.

00:19:24.000 Ugh.

00:19:26.000 Dude, I'll tell you where else you can't be on a diet.

00:19:28.000 Chicago.

00:19:28.000 I was there a few weeks ago.

00:19:29.000 Fuck it.

00:19:30.000 Did you go to Luminati's?

00:19:31.000 I ate every pizza.

00:19:33.000 And I apologized to every crowd beforehand.

00:19:35.000 That is not a pizza.

00:19:36.000 That is a goddamn casserole.

00:19:38.000 It is a straight...

00:19:38.000 It's a casserole.

00:19:40.000 It's a lasagna.

00:19:40.000 It's a pie.

00:19:41.000 It's a pie.

00:19:42.000 Dude, I felt so sick after them.

00:19:44.000 But it was so nice going down.

00:19:46.000 I felt so sick.

00:19:47.000 That's a weird sacrifice, right?

00:19:49.000 You decide, I'm going to be sick for a few hours, for just a few seconds of mouth pleasure.

00:19:55.000 Yeah, like, again, I apologize to the crowds.

00:19:57.000 I'm like, you shouldn't be doing this, man.

00:19:58.000 This is like a fighter missing weight.

00:20:01.000 Like, it's such an asshole move.

00:20:03.000 My face is all swollen from the sodium.

00:20:05.000 Look at that.

00:20:06.000 Oh, look at that.

00:20:10.000 Which one was that?

00:20:11.000 That was at the place where, uh, it's the famous place, um, the Grindr, something, the Grindr, where it comes in a bowl, and it's where, uh...

00:20:19.000 Grindr is, that is a gay, um, dating app.

00:20:22.000 That's a gay site, yeah, but it's also a delicious pizza, Chicago pizza.

00:20:25.000 Chicago Grindr?

00:20:26.000 Oven and Grindr.

00:20:27.000 Oven Grindr.

00:20:27.000 I wonder if they're bummed out that Grindr is all...

00:20:30.000 It's all motherfucker.

00:20:31.000 ...sucking decks and butt-fucking.

00:20:32.000 I know, you thought you were gonna get a deep dish and a blowjob or some shit.

00:20:35.000 Here's your deep dish, bitch.

00:20:40.000 But it's that same place where Al Capone and his men staked out before they did the St. Valentine's Day massacre.

00:20:46.000 Really?

00:20:46.000 So it's like a historic place.

00:20:48.000 Oh, so it's old as fuck.

00:20:49.000 Two hour wait.

00:20:50.000 Whoa!

00:20:51.000 Two hour wait.

00:20:52.000 You waited two hours for food.

00:20:53.000 Two hour wait.

00:20:54.000 It's a two hour wait.

00:20:55.000 It's a two hour wait.

00:20:56.000 Wow.

00:20:57.000 I put my name and strolled around.

00:20:58.000 Wow.

00:20:59.000 Good move.

00:21:00.000 I know.

00:21:00.000 You got to do what you got to do.

00:21:01.000 Yeah, there's no freebies.

00:21:03.000 I don't give a fuck.

00:21:04.000 That's a lot of food, man.

00:21:06.000 They don't fuck around.

00:21:07.000 People get cold.

00:21:07.000 That's the thing.

00:21:08.000 If you live in a place where people get cold, like Boston or Chicago, people get thick.

00:21:14.000 Yeah.

00:21:15.000 It's tough to work out in the cold, man.

00:21:17.000 Well, not just that.

00:21:18.000 It insulates you.

00:21:20.000 That makes sense.

00:21:21.000 You don't want to be shredded.

00:21:23.000 Shredded.

00:21:24.000 Shredded near that water.

00:21:25.000 I know.

00:21:25.000 The wind comes off that lake.

00:21:27.000 Oh!

00:21:28.000 Makes sense.

00:21:29.000 You ever been to Chicago in January?

00:21:30.000 Yes.

00:21:31.000 Woo!

00:21:31.000 Miserable.

00:21:32.000 Cold as fuck.

00:21:33.000 Not my cup of tea.

00:21:34.000 It's a great place to perform though.

00:21:36.000 Yeah, love Chicago.

00:21:36.000 Audiences are amazing.

00:21:37.000 Amazing.

00:21:38.000 They're just fun.

00:21:39.000 They're fun people.

00:21:40.000 You know what they are?

00:21:40.000 They're a unique combination of like the Midwest And a giant city.

00:21:45.000 Same as Toronto.

00:21:46.000 Toronto's like that too, but it's the same kind of vibe.

00:21:50.000 It's a weird combination of like really nice, almost small town people that live in a giant urban city.

00:21:58.000 And Toronto's a melting pot.

00:21:59.000 To me, Toronto reminds me of New York, not with the hustle and cleaner.

00:22:04.000 Yeah, way cleaner.

00:22:05.000 I love Toronto.

00:22:06.000 More polite people, too.

00:22:07.000 Way nicer.

00:22:08.000 You get Indian people, Pakistani, black, Asian, white, European.

00:22:16.000 You get everybody in Toronto.

00:22:17.000 Now, on the other end of that, I was just in Seattle, Washington, and the crowd was all white?

00:22:23.000 All white.

00:22:23.000 That is the white capital.

00:22:24.000 I was the darkest dude in the building.

00:22:26.000 Yeah, them in Portland, they're white as fuck.

00:22:29.000 Even if you're black, after a few generations, you just turn white.

00:22:32.000 And you start talking white.

00:22:33.000 If you bring your family up there, and you plan on staking out a black existence in Portland, good luck.

00:22:41.000 Even if your kids only date other black kids, after like a hundred years, everyone's gonna be white.

00:22:47.000 There's no son!

00:22:48.000 There's no son.

00:22:49.000 That's son for three months a year?

00:22:51.000 Look, there's a reason why people became white.

00:22:53.000 I mean, everyone really comes from Africa.

00:22:55.000 Yeah.

00:22:56.000 It's one of the real reasons why racism is so stupid.

00:22:58.000 Every single fucking human being came from Africa, just like every single fucking dog came from a wolf.

00:23:04.000 Every person started out as an African.

00:23:06.000 It's just as we move to shittier and shittier places with less and less sun, your body adapted.

00:23:12.000 And basically, white skin is like a big old solar panel for vitamin B. Or vitamin D, rather.

00:23:21.000 And obviously, we don't.

00:23:22.000 I don't know anyone who is racist these days, though.

00:23:25.000 They're out there, for sure.

00:23:26.000 But I don't...

00:23:28.000 I don't have anyone that I even associate with.

00:23:32.000 But even jokingly, they're like, I don't like Asians, or I don't like...

00:23:36.000 That is exhausting.

00:23:37.000 I don't know any.

00:23:38.000 No.

00:23:39.000 Or any that are doing well.

00:23:41.000 No.

00:23:41.000 It's a stupid mindset.

00:23:43.000 It's a stupid mindset.

00:23:44.000 It just really is.

00:23:46.000 It's dumb.

00:23:48.000 It's very old school.

00:23:50.000 Well, it doesn't benefit you in any way.

00:23:53.000 It's super detrimental.

00:23:56.000 For your view of the world, the way you interact with people, it's dumb.

00:24:01.000 I mean, I know so many cool people of every single race.

00:24:06.000 It's so stupid.

00:24:07.000 It's like judging white people off a few small portion sample size of mass shooters, like the dumbasses shoot up the high schools.

00:24:15.000 Well, there's, you know, there's like blowback the other way, right?

00:24:20.000 Like there's a lot of people who think it's okay to be racist against white people.

00:24:23.000 Because so many white people have been racist in the past, but that's just as foolish and just as short-sighted.

00:24:28.000 Everyone's different.

00:24:29.000 Yeah, it's all stupid.

00:24:30.000 It's like today, with all this Me Too stuff, it seems like it's okay to be sexist against men.

00:24:37.000 Yeah.

00:24:37.000 Because there are awful men out there.

00:24:41.000 But there's also men that are nice, and they're going to be nice to you.

00:24:44.000 There's also some awful women out there who do have other agendas when they come out with these Me Too claims.

00:24:50.000 There's a lot of that.

00:24:50.000 What you're seeing.

00:24:51.000 We're seeing these cases now.

00:24:53.000 We're seeing these cases get exposed for what they are.

00:24:57.000 The problem is that it casts doubt on legitimate cases.

00:25:03.000 What is going on with my throat?

00:25:05.000 Something about these goddamn caveman coffees.

00:25:07.000 Really?

00:25:09.000 Early in the morning.

00:25:10.000 That makes me think.

00:25:11.000 I'm good though.

00:25:12.000 Sometimes it's dairy.

00:25:15.000 Did you think if you were in Louis C.K.'s shoes, do you think he came back too soon?

00:25:20.000 I don't think it's that he came back too soon.

00:25:23.000 What I honestly think is he should say something more than what he already said.

00:25:30.000 Not just go up like it's all good and like, alright.

00:25:32.000 There's not just, I mean, he said, he put out, released a statement, these stories are true.

00:25:37.000 They happened a long time ago, right?

00:25:39.000 They happened like more than a decade ago.

00:25:41.000 I think...

00:25:43.000 He should, and I think it might be even better to release a video rather than a written statement, because a written statement, the problem is like it's impersonal.

00:25:54.000 It's personal.

00:25:55.000 It's fake.

00:25:55.000 Yeah, well, it's not even, not only that it's not as impactful.

00:25:59.000 I want to...

00:26:00.000 But what is he going to say?

00:26:02.000 It's like, I can't fix it.

00:26:03.000 Maybe if he donated a certain amount of money to certain causes or, you know...

00:26:09.000 Spent, you know, time in therapy or talked about it and maybe expressed himself and said that what was, you know What was going on through through through in his mind during that time when he did the thing and why it was wrong Yeah,

00:26:28.000 and how he's changed his his way and how bad he feels about it how he's apologized his daughters I think I think you get all that done by just doing a video with this I think it goes so much further for him if he didn't have a big production He's a creative dude obviously a great comedian If you just went off the top of his head straight into the camera and post on Instagram I was like,

00:26:48.000 hey man, I've paid a price.

00:26:50.000 I've learned I have daughters.

00:26:52.000 It was a horrible thing that I did.

00:26:53.000 You mean even stay away from I've paid a price?

00:26:55.000 Because people don't really want to hear that shit.

00:26:57.000 Like, what is the price?

00:26:58.000 But they don't think he has.

00:26:59.000 Well, they're crazy.

00:27:01.000 He's lost millions of dollars.

00:27:02.000 They don't realize that.

00:27:03.000 They think, oh, he's fine.

00:27:04.000 He should get back on the road and touring.

00:27:06.000 He's going to be a millionaire.

00:27:07.000 Well, he's lost a ton of money off his shows, FX deal, development deal.

00:27:12.000 And more importantly, his daughters have this image of him being this guy who jerks off in front of women.

00:27:17.000 That's never going to go away either.

00:27:18.000 No.

00:27:18.000 So that's a pretty heavy stamp.

00:27:21.000 Which is deserved.

00:27:23.000 Maybe not forever, but...

00:27:25.000 But it's a complicated issue.

00:27:27.000 You know, it's complicated.

00:27:27.000 Like, what was his psychology?

00:27:29.000 What was going on in his mind that allowed him to do that?

00:27:33.000 Apparently, he just started going up again.

00:27:34.000 He just went up again Sunday night.

00:27:36.000 Yeah, he just went up, and I guess the owner of the club was like, dude, I didn't know I was asleep.

00:27:42.000 He went up.

00:27:42.000 It's the crowd's discretion if they want to stay or leave.

00:27:45.000 Well, the first time, the owner was upset.

00:27:49.000 And the second time, they said something along the lines of, if anyone has an issue with someone who stops in, a.k.a.

00:27:55.000 Louie, I mean, it's only Louie.

00:27:58.000 Maybe Aziz, I guess.

00:28:00.000 Really?

00:28:00.000 Well, no.

00:28:01.000 Yeah, apparently some people got upset about Aziz, too.

00:28:03.000 Still?

00:28:04.000 Yeah, dude, look.

00:28:05.000 People just like targets.

00:28:07.000 They like targets.

00:28:08.000 They like negativity.

00:28:11.000 They like negativity, but they also like targets.

00:28:14.000 When they find someone who's a viable target, someone who's done something they can criticize, and they go, you!

00:28:20.000 What have you done?

00:28:22.000 You!

00:28:23.000 Oh, you're still alive.

00:28:25.000 There's people that just want to decide that someone's a horrible person, and they don't have this really well-thought-out Comprehensive view of the situation.

00:28:37.000 They just attack.

00:28:39.000 There's a lot of those people out there, man.

00:28:41.000 And they think that they're justified.

00:28:42.000 Particularly if that person's famous and they're not.

00:28:45.000 They think it's fair game.

00:28:47.000 Public forum.

00:28:48.000 So people were definitely upset at Aziz, but much more upset about Louis.

00:28:52.000 Oh, 100%.

00:28:53.000 When you stop and think about what Louis actually did, creepy yes, asked women if he could jerk off in front of them.

00:29:00.000 They said yes, he did it.

00:29:01.000 If they said no, he didn't.

00:29:02.000 I mean, it's fucking...

00:29:04.000 Look, if you're working with a guy like that, he's like, can I jerk off in front of you?

00:29:07.000 Like, Jesus Christ.

00:29:09.000 Can you imagine?

00:29:09.000 What the fuck?

00:29:10.000 It would be a shitty work environment for sure.

00:29:12.000 Terrible.

00:29:13.000 And he is not handsome.

00:29:15.000 He is...

00:29:15.000 Louie, I love you.

00:29:17.000 Brutal to look at.

00:29:18.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:29:18.000 He's harsh on the eyes.

00:29:20.000 It's not like Brad Pitt's asking to jack off in front of you.

00:29:23.000 Right.

00:29:23.000 Not that it's ever right, but do less on the feelings if Brad Pitt's yanking in front of you.

00:29:29.000 I mean...

00:29:30.000 All of it's no bueno.

00:29:32.000 It's a whole mess.

00:29:33.000 Yeah.

00:29:34.000 I mean, he obviously had some sort of a weird kink, you know?

00:29:37.000 I wonder what that is.

00:29:38.000 Probably started in childhood, maybe got caught and then got off on it.

00:29:41.000 Right, right.

00:29:42.000 Or he just never got chicks and now he has this power because he's such a...

00:29:45.000 He didn't have the power when he started doing it, though, man.

00:29:48.000 When he started doing it, he wasn't really famous.

00:29:50.000 He was respected, but he wasn't really famous.

00:29:53.000 But he was like his now, yeah.

00:29:53.000 No.

00:29:54.000 Which is...

00:29:55.000 It's, you know, it's awful.

00:29:58.000 But it's...

00:30:01.000 It's just the thing that he's stuck with now.

00:30:03.000 So he's got to figure out how to ingratiate himself.

00:30:06.000 He's got to figure out how to re-emerge.

00:30:12.000 And I think...

00:30:13.000 He can do it.

00:30:14.000 I think he can do it.

00:30:15.000 I'm sure he can do it.

00:30:16.000 Look, he's not an awful person.

00:30:18.000 No.

00:30:18.000 I just think he did some stupid things that were really gross and weird.

00:30:21.000 But...

00:30:23.000 And he has owned up to it.

00:30:25.000 I think he just makes some sort of a sincere apology and then does something.

00:30:30.000 Like, what could you do to...

00:30:33.000 Help female comics, maybe?

00:30:36.000 He's done that.

00:30:37.000 He's tried to help.

00:30:38.000 But a lot of people accused him of trying to help them to try to cover up his tracks.

00:30:42.000 Well, fuck, man.

00:30:44.000 He has to do something.

00:30:46.000 He has to go back to work.

00:30:48.000 Yeah.

00:30:48.000 I mean, it's been a year now, right?

00:30:51.000 It's a year next month.

00:30:53.000 I think to expect him to just never work again seems ridiculous and to not forgive him.

00:31:00.000 There has to be a path to redemption for anyone who's done anything other than actual rape or murder, right?

00:31:09.000 Like, for Bill Cosby, I'm very happy he's locked up.

00:31:12.000 I think what he did is awful.

00:31:13.000 Can you imagine being one of those girls that turned to him as a mentor, and you wake up, and, you know, you've been violated while you're alcohol, and you're drugged, and you're confused, and Bill Cosby did it to you.

00:31:24.000 And who the fuck is going to believe that?

00:31:26.000 His image is...

00:31:27.000 That's the thing about Louis, right?

00:31:29.000 Like, Louis' image was like, he's a pervert.

00:31:31.000 He's a weirdo.

00:31:31.000 He's always talking about jerking off.

00:31:33.000 Like, when you found out Louis C.K. asked girls if he could jerk off in front of him and did it, it's like, not the most surprising thing.

00:31:39.000 But with Bill Cosby, here's a guy who is, and I'm not comparing the acts at all, but I'm just saying as far as famous people have done something that became a scandal, with Bill Cosby, he was this moral guy.

00:31:56.000 He was this ethics guy, and he wore sweaters.

00:32:00.000 America's dad.

00:32:01.000 He was America's dad.

00:32:02.000 And to find out that that guy was drugging and raping women...

00:32:07.000 He's in fucking jail right now, which is crazy, right?

00:32:10.000 He's gonna die, I give it, what, over and under a week?

00:32:13.000 Do you think so?

00:32:14.000 That's the way it goes with those old dudes.

00:32:16.000 Really?

00:32:16.000 Yeah.

00:32:16.000 He's 81. His eyes are so crazy.

00:32:19.000 He can't see.

00:32:20.000 I think the one's good.

00:32:22.000 But the left one's all over the goddamn place.

00:32:24.000 Which one is the one?

00:32:25.000 I thought the right one was wack.

00:32:27.000 I think it's this one, but it is fucking...

00:32:30.000 Yeah, it's looking the wrong way.

00:32:32.000 It's going on its own way.

00:32:33.000 Yeah, that's what you get, man.

00:32:36.000 He's going to die any day now.

00:32:37.000 I think a path to redemption or a path to retribution would be good.

00:32:45.000 A path to forgiveness.

00:32:47.000 I think that's important for...

00:32:52.000 All human beings have made mistakes.

00:32:54.000 I think it's important.

00:32:55.000 We can't just cast people out if they've made mistakes.

00:32:57.000 I agree.

00:32:57.000 I also think it's important, too, with all this stuff is like Louis C.K. got lumped in with the big dogs like Bill Cosby and Harvey Weinstein.

00:33:05.000 Then there's Louis C.K. Man, there is definitely different levels to this.

00:33:10.000 Yes.

00:33:10.000 These fucking crimes.

00:33:12.000 No question.

00:33:13.000 How about one that flies under the radar, especially here in America?

00:33:16.000 And I was just reading about it.

00:33:17.000 How true it is, who knows, is with Ronaldo, who, you know, in soccer, ask your boy Ian Edwards.

00:33:24.000 I mean, there's...

00:33:25.000 He's a super, superstar.

00:33:27.000 Superstar.

00:33:28.000 It would be like, it'd basically be like Conor McGregor getting caught doing something in our world.

00:33:32.000 This is a new one, right?

00:33:34.000 This is a new one, yeah.

00:33:35.000 This girl, you know, she said he kept telling him no, and then he anally raped her, and then paid her $375,000 to keep quiet.

00:33:45.000 Now she's coming back out.

00:33:48.000 But who knows?

00:33:49.000 Human beings are capable of such amazing things and such fucking awful things.

00:33:56.000 I might have to look that up, Jamie.

00:33:57.000 I might have been dreaming.

00:33:58.000 No, I think you're right about that.

00:33:59.000 My brother told me about it.

00:34:01.000 He's usually on it.

00:34:01.000 That's what I just read in the New York Post.

00:34:04.000 Yeah, we should probably go back to fights, right?

00:34:06.000 Renato likes that booty.

00:34:07.000 Yeah, we should go back to fights.

00:34:09.000 Literally.

00:34:09.000 I don't know how we get down.

00:34:12.000 Dude, how excited are you about your special being dropped today?

00:34:15.000 Nervous at all?

00:34:16.000 I was nervous before, yeah.

00:34:17.000 Are you nervous about it?

00:34:18.000 Yeah, man.

00:34:19.000 Because it's a body of work you've been doing forever.

00:34:20.000 I cared about it.

00:34:21.000 I worked on it for two fucking years, you know?

00:34:24.000 And you edited it yourself?

00:34:26.000 Reviews are awesome.

00:34:27.000 Came out great.

00:34:27.000 I heard it's great.

00:34:28.000 I'm excited.

00:34:29.000 You know, it's the best...

00:34:30.000 I think the best one I've ever done.

00:34:32.000 I really do.

00:34:32.000 I think the last one...

00:34:33.000 I think Triggered was the best one.

00:34:35.000 And I think this one's better than that.

00:34:36.000 That's how it should go, right?

00:34:37.000 Yeah, I mean, that's how it should go.

00:34:39.000 Just keep working.

00:34:40.000 Keep...

00:34:41.000 Keep trying to refine it and raise my standards.

00:34:46.000 I learned some stuff.

00:34:47.000 Out of all these years doing stand-up, I'm still learning.

00:34:49.000 I learned some stuff in the editing process.

00:34:51.000 Really?

00:34:52.000 Yeah, I learned some stuff just watching.

00:34:54.000 I think I listen to recordings all the time, but I think I'm going to step my game up now.

00:34:59.000 After talking to Bert Kreischer yesterday, Bert, he records audio and he also records video, and I think I'm going to start recording video of all my shows too now.

00:35:09.000 It's tough.

00:35:10.000 Yeah, because when you're doing these giant theaters, so there's not video.

00:35:13.000 Because when I was at parlor, wherever I go, they usually have video capabilities, so I get all the video.

00:35:18.000 That's nice.

00:35:19.000 Always get the video.

00:35:20.000 Well, the Ice House can do that for me.

00:35:21.000 That's true.

00:35:22.000 And I could definitely get someone to do that for me at the store.

00:35:25.000 But I just think...

00:35:26.000 It's critical to see the way you move as well as here.

00:35:30.000 You've got to analyze all that shit and try to figure out what...

00:35:33.000 You've got to be natural and in the moment, but you've also got to analyze all the particulars and find out what...

00:35:39.000 I would watch two or three different sets because I filmed four shows, and I was like, why didn't I do that in the second show?

00:35:47.000 The way I did it there, that's the way to do it, but I did it differently in this other show.

00:35:52.000 I think the shitty part is watching yourself and listening to yourself.

00:35:55.000 It takes a real type of asshole to do that.

00:35:58.000 Right?

00:35:58.000 It's the worst.

00:35:59.000 It takes a real type of asshole to like it.

00:36:01.000 Oh, dude.

00:36:02.000 And just like, that was good.

00:36:03.000 Yeah.

00:36:03.000 And it's you.

00:36:04.000 Well, it's pretty good.

00:36:05.000 Have you ever been over someone's house and they make you watch something that they did?

00:36:09.000 Dude.

00:36:12.000 This quarterback, Vinny Testaverde, he was a first-round draft pick.

00:36:16.000 He played forever.

00:36:17.000 We went to his house and he made me watch...

00:36:20.000 The recap of his last football season.

00:36:23.000 No.

00:36:23.000 A two hour NFL films recap of the Baltimore Ravens.

00:36:27.000 And it was a nightmare.

00:36:29.000 He made you watch a recap?

00:36:31.000 Dude, it was so boring.

00:36:32.000 Shut the fuck up.

00:36:33.000 I promise I want to put a fucking bullet through my head.

00:36:36.000 Come on.

00:36:37.000 But out of the respect of Vinny Tessaverde and he beat my ass in basketball before that, I stayed there and watched it.

00:36:43.000 Who does that though?

00:36:45.000 Hmm.

00:36:46.000 I heard about a dude who he had a party over his house, and then when the people were over there, he made them listen to him sing a song.

00:36:54.000 Is it Brian Callen?

00:36:55.000 Nope.

00:36:56.000 Just kidding.

00:36:57.000 Some other guy.

00:36:58.000 I know who you're talking about, because I think I was there.

00:37:01.000 He played music and sang and was serious.

00:37:05.000 During the middle of the Super Bowl, sir, put the Super Bowl on pause, and his band struck up a fucking song.

00:37:12.000 I looked around and went...

00:37:14.000 Is everyone a terrorist here?

00:37:16.000 What the fuck is happening?

00:37:18.000 Why is the game paused?

00:37:20.000 I'm from Denver, Colorado.

00:37:21.000 If you don't put that goddamn drumstick down, I'm gonna flip the fuck out.

00:37:26.000 That was the most Hollywood thing I've ever seen in my life.

00:37:29.000 I went, well, I feel sick, and I'm gonna leave now.

00:37:31.000 I feel very sick.

00:37:33.000 In the middle of the fucking game, man, my Broncos were playing too.

00:37:37.000 Oh, dude.

00:37:37.000 People are so strange, man.

00:37:40.000 I'm like, what the fuck?

00:37:42.000 That's the most Hollywood thing I've ever seen in my life.

00:37:44.000 Where I felt sick.

00:37:47.000 Yeah, I've seen many of those.

00:37:48.000 I was over at someone's house once, and this guy ran outside to his car to get a video to get us to watch a music video that he did, which was one of the worst songs I've ever heard in my life.

00:38:01.000 People are great.

00:38:02.000 And it was a music video, and it was a music video that looked like it was made for about $3.

00:38:06.000 Oh, God.

00:38:07.000 And I was just like, what the fuck?

00:38:08.000 And he's like singing all sincere in this music video, and we're all sitting around like we have to watch.

00:38:12.000 Like what the fuck?

00:38:13.000 It's torture, just compressing my chest in a vice.

00:38:16.000 I'm like, I can't breathe!

00:38:18.000 But you've never seen comics play their hour special when they've had people over?

00:38:22.000 I haven't seen that yet, but I'm sure it's happening.

00:38:24.000 That's happening right now as we speak.

00:38:26.000 Right now, there's a guy who's like, come on, everybody sit down, sit down.

00:38:28.000 It's time for my special.

00:38:29.000 Come on, everyone get around.

00:38:30.000 Yeah, alright, yeah.

00:38:33.000 Alright, we should probably talk fighting though.

00:38:35.000 What are you laughing at?

00:38:38.000 Bert did that?

00:38:38.000 Bert Gresher did that?

00:38:39.000 No, he did that with his family, though.

00:38:41.000 They had, like, a screening.

00:38:42.000 No, but they had, like, a specifically...

00:38:44.000 Was it friends and...

00:38:45.000 It's friends, too?

00:38:46.000 Yeah, but he...

00:38:47.000 No, no, no.

00:38:48.000 That's...

00:38:48.000 I hear you.

00:38:49.000 This is a different thing.

00:38:51.000 Like, he invited them to a screening of his special, where that was the purpose.

00:38:55.000 It wasn't like he threw it on in the middle of a party.

00:38:59.000 Everybody sit down!

00:38:59.000 Sit down!

00:39:00.000 Try to watch my special!

00:39:01.000 Yeah, it's a little weird.

00:39:02.000 Bert, I'm enjoying the music, and I got pizza here!

00:39:04.000 Yeah, that's a little different.

00:39:05.000 Yeah, it's different.

00:39:06.000 Yeah, I like that, yeah, yeah.

00:39:07.000 No, it was a screening, and his agents were there, and his managers were there, and people that worked at his...

00:39:12.000 Do you have family come to your shooting your specials?

00:39:15.000 No!

00:39:16.000 Me neither.

00:39:17.000 No!

00:39:17.000 I don't like them at the show.

00:39:18.000 No, no, no, no.

00:39:20.000 You know, if someone from my family comes and watches me, I mean, they come to a show.

00:39:26.000 Yeah, but they're not coming to the shooting of your specials.

00:39:28.000 And I don't ever ask them to.

00:39:29.000 If they want to, that's fine.

00:39:31.000 But does your wife like to go?

00:39:33.000 Sometimes.

00:39:34.000 I have her come out every six months or so.

00:39:37.000 Just to see.

00:39:38.000 Just to see.

00:39:39.000 Tell me, is there anything new?

00:39:42.000 What's different?

00:39:43.000 Because she's known you for so long, she would know.

00:39:46.000 It's like...

00:39:48.000 Yeah, here's the thing.

00:39:49.000 If someone sees you every weekend, and I have friends that take their girlfriends on the road with them, and they get so bored with their acts.

00:39:58.000 Because they're watching a guy perform every night.

00:40:02.000 Two nights every night.

00:40:03.000 Two in a row, two shows in a night.

00:40:07.000 Your act is nonsense to them.

00:40:09.000 You're one of my favorite people on planet Earth.

00:40:11.000 I've seen your set when you're ready for this a bunch of times.

00:40:15.000 And when I was leaving, someone was like, you're not going to watch Joe?

00:40:17.000 I'm like, dude, I've seen it, man.

00:40:18.000 It's not disrespectful.

00:40:19.000 He understands.

00:40:20.000 I've seen it, though.

00:40:22.000 I don't even watch, like...

00:40:23.000 Seen it ten times.

00:40:24.000 I don't even watch my favorites.

00:40:26.000 Like, even Joey, I'll sometimes leave the room if he's on stage.

00:40:29.000 Yeah, you don't...

00:40:30.000 You also don't want to get bored with someone's act.

00:40:33.000 You can't watch them over and over and over and over again.

00:40:36.000 But that's what happens with girlfriends.

00:40:37.000 Girlfriends that go on the road with guys, they're watching two sets a night.

00:40:41.000 What a terrible idea.

00:40:43.000 Thursday, Friday, Saturday, blah!

00:40:46.000 And then they just think you suck.

00:40:49.000 Ha!

00:40:49.000 Because you don't make them laugh anymore.

00:40:51.000 Yeah, they're just over it.

00:40:52.000 They're like, really?

00:40:52.000 This is what you do?

00:40:53.000 You tell the same story every night?

00:40:55.000 Shut up, bitch.

00:40:56.000 You pretend it's a new story.

00:40:58.000 And then if you have a new opening act, like, he's really funny.

00:41:01.000 Like, he's funny.

00:41:02.000 What about me?

00:41:03.000 He's funny.

00:41:04.000 Oh, I've seen you too many times.

00:41:05.000 Like, oh, no.

00:41:07.000 Yeah, my brother used to think I was great.

00:41:08.000 He's on the road to me every time.

00:41:09.000 And the other night, I go, here we go again.

00:41:11.000 He goes, I feel like I could do your act now.

00:41:13.000 I'm like, motherfucker.

00:41:14.000 He probably could.

00:41:16.000 He probably knows it by heart.

00:41:18.000 We used to do that in Boston.

00:41:19.000 We had a thing called Joe Biden Night at Stitches.

00:41:23.000 Joe Biden, who was the former vice president, people don't remember this, but in 1988, when he was running for president, he got busted retelling some of Kennedy's old speeches.

00:41:37.000 Come on, man.

00:41:38.000 This is in 88. Yeah.

00:41:39.000 Come on.

00:41:40.000 It was a big scandal.

00:41:42.000 And that kind of took him out of the running for being president for a long time.

00:41:46.000 Although they're talking about it again for 2020. So we would do Joe Biden night at the Comedy Store.

00:41:54.000 That's hilarious.

00:41:54.000 I would do your act.

00:41:55.000 That's awesome.

00:41:57.000 That's hilarious.

00:41:58.000 People probably loved it.

00:41:59.000 Oh, they loved it.

00:42:00.000 It was, you know, like an off night.

00:42:02.000 It was like a Monday.

00:42:02.000 Like you doing Joey Diaz?

00:42:04.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:42:04.000 It'd be fucking great.

00:42:05.000 Well, that would be good because I can do an impression of Joey.

00:42:07.000 I know.

00:42:08.000 Like a lot of it was just people just doing the material.

00:42:10.000 Chris D'Elia does Callan?

00:42:12.000 Fucking great.

00:42:15.000 Yeah, comedy is a weird thing.

00:42:18.000 That's one of the things about this special.

00:42:20.000 I got too close to it.

00:42:23.000 When you're editing things and you're practicing it and you're doing it over and over again, I know it's working.

00:42:27.000 I know it's going to work.

00:42:29.000 It's polished.

00:42:31.000 I practiced it.

00:42:32.000 I wrote it out.

00:42:33.000 I redid it.

00:42:34.000 I fucking edited it and changed it and twisted it.

00:42:37.000 I know how to do it, but I also don't want to hear it.

00:42:40.000 No.

00:42:41.000 I've heard it too many times.

00:42:42.000 So you get too close to it.

00:42:44.000 So then when people are going to see it for the very first time, you're like, I don't know.

00:42:49.000 I don't know.

00:42:49.000 I hope they like it.

00:42:51.000 I'm too close to it.

00:42:52.000 But you still get nervous even after all these years.

00:42:54.000 Yes.

00:42:54.000 If you care, you get nervous.

00:42:56.000 And isn't it?

00:42:57.000 You're so close to this body of work.

00:42:59.000 Like you said, this is your baby.

00:43:00.000 You know what I'm saying?

00:43:01.000 If someone's like, dude, that sucked.

00:43:03.000 You're like, motherfucker.

00:43:05.000 There's definitely people that are going to think it sucks.

00:43:07.000 That's always going to happen.

00:43:09.000 But my thing is the majority of my fans who like my comedy, I want them to like it.

00:43:14.000 And so for me, it's like I was confident.

00:43:17.000 I knew I did everything I could do.

00:43:19.000 I know I'm a good comic and I know I've done everything I could do to make this my best one.

00:43:24.000 So I knew I was confident.

00:43:26.000 I knew it was a good special.

00:43:29.000 And I thought it was my best special.

00:43:31.000 I'm very confident that it's my best special.

00:43:34.000 But still, I'm too close to it.

00:43:36.000 So I don't know.

00:43:37.000 I was wondering, last time I saw you post it, I'm like, I wonder if he's nervous.

00:43:40.000 I'd be nervous as fuck.

00:43:42.000 Yeah, you get nervous.

00:43:43.000 It's a big deal.

00:43:44.000 Netflix put a lot of money and time and effort and promotion into this.

00:43:48.000 And you don't want them to be embarrassed, because they've been embarrassed a lot lately.

00:43:53.000 They've had some fucking terrible specials that they put out.

00:43:56.000 No comment.

00:43:57.000 No comment.

00:43:58.000 There's been some tough ones.

00:43:59.000 Yeah.

00:44:01.000 Anyway, Conor McGregor vs.

00:44:03.000 Kadeem this weekend.

00:44:06.000 Well, it's a good transition.

00:44:08.000 This weekend, boy.

00:44:09.000 I'll tell you this, dude.

00:44:10.000 I'll tell you this.

00:44:10.000 I'm not being a hater.

00:44:11.000 I'm not being some sort of Debbie Downer.

00:44:14.000 I don't think it breaks two million pay-per-view buys.

00:44:17.000 You might be right.

00:44:18.000 I'm not seeing it, man.

00:44:20.000 Like, when Conor fought Floyd or when Conor, Nate Diaz, too, I couldn't go anywhere.

00:44:26.000 Without hearing about it.

00:44:30.000 Car dealer, everyone went, dude, Conor Floyd, who you got, man?

00:44:34.000 Everybody and their mom.

00:44:35.000 Now, very rare.

00:44:37.000 Maybe on one of my shows, someone will bring it up, but...

00:44:39.000 There's something that Conor didn't want to do for this fight, and that's massive promotion.

00:44:43.000 Yeah.

00:44:44.000 So does that mean it's not as big?

00:44:46.000 Like, who's that falling?

00:44:47.000 Is that Conor or the UFC? It's both.

00:44:49.000 He doesn't want to do it.

00:44:49.000 Well, the UFC has a model, right?

00:44:52.000 And it worked in the Jose Aldo fight.

00:44:53.000 That model is you just promote the holy fuck out of a fight.

00:44:57.000 You travel the world.

00:44:59.000 You promote the shit out of it.

00:45:00.000 You scream at each other at press conferences.

00:45:03.000 You do all that stuff for months and months and months, and those things sell like crazy.

00:45:07.000 If it's Conor McGregor.

00:45:08.000 If it's Conor McGregor.

00:45:09.000 Who have they ever done it with besides Conor McGregor, like that?

00:45:13.000 No one really sells like that.

00:45:14.000 A little bit with Ronda, I guess, but she didn't have the same kind of chops as Conor.

00:45:19.000 So Conor's the only one, but I don't know.

00:45:23.000 Maybe it's because he had a layoff, maybe it's after the Floyd thing.

00:45:25.000 I think it does well.

00:45:26.000 I don't think it breaks Conor versus Nate, too.

00:45:30.000 I don't think it breaks $1.6 million.

00:45:32.000 What I think happened was Conor made a hundred fucking million dollars, and he was like, yeah, I'm just going to train.

00:45:39.000 You know what I think?

00:45:40.000 I think there's that, and the asshole goes, that took so much energy to do all that, and everyone knows me as that guy.

00:45:48.000 I have the toughest fight in my life coming up.

00:45:50.000 I'm taking every precaution necessary not to overtrain, not to use all my energy.

00:45:55.000 This, I'm in the fight of my life, and I'm going to train like it.

00:45:58.000 I'm shutting down everything.

00:45:59.000 You can...

00:46:01.000 Post the fucking me throwing the dolly through the window 1,000 times.

00:46:04.000 I'll do the press conference on Thursday.

00:46:06.000 Other than that, man, I have got to get ready for the fight of my life.

00:46:09.000 That's the way I'm looking at it.

00:46:10.000 I think you're right, and I think this is the fight of his life.

00:46:13.000 I think stylistically, it's a nightmare matchup.

00:46:15.000 I think it's a nightmare matchup for both of them.

00:46:17.000 I think anyone who goes, oh, Conor, you know, he can't wrestle, he can't do this, he's just going to get taken down and pounded out.

00:46:23.000 You're so off, it's not even funny.

00:46:25.000 You don't know the game, man.

00:46:26.000 He...

00:46:27.000 Absolutely is capable of stuffing a takedown or two in the early going.

00:46:31.000 That's what's up.

00:46:33.000 Because in the early going, he's got that stinger of a left hand.

00:46:37.000 His movement.

00:46:38.000 His footwork.

00:46:39.000 His movement, his footwork, and Khabib is going to know that coming in.

00:46:42.000 He's going to be a little hesitant.

00:46:44.000 He's not going to walk towards him like Edson Barboza did.

00:46:46.000 Or he did in the Edson Barboza fight.

00:46:48.000 He can't.

00:46:48.000 Because Barboza is mostly kicks.

00:46:51.000 Barboza throws a lot of kicks, a lot of tie-style kicks, and Khabib just put a tremendous amount of pressure on him and then got a hold of him.

00:46:59.000 But Conor's going to crack him with hands, and his footwork is way better.

00:47:03.000 He's just way better at moving in and moving out.

00:47:06.000 I think when people go, it's either Conor starches him and gets the KO, or Khabib just takes him down for five rounds and pounds him out.

00:47:14.000 I think it's a classic fight.

00:47:17.000 I think it's back and forth.

00:47:18.000 I think it's a fucking dogfight.

00:47:19.000 I think it's a fight of our lives, man.

00:47:21.000 I really do.

00:47:22.000 I think you're probably right.

00:47:23.000 I think you're getting a fucking great fight from two guys where there's more on the line than just win or lose.

00:47:30.000 I think with Khabib and what he represents and talking to his team, his team captain, Josh Thompson, he goes, Khabib's going to retire after this.

00:47:37.000 Really?

00:47:38.000 He wants to beat Conor and retire.

00:47:40.000 Really?

00:47:40.000 He wants to retire like the Floyd Mayweather of MMA, 27-0, beat the UFC's poster boy and he walks off in the sunset.

00:47:48.000 Unless they get him a super fight with GSB or something, he's done.

00:47:53.000 Really?

00:47:53.000 Wow.

00:47:55.000 That's shocking.

00:47:56.000 He's young.

00:47:56.000 Very shocking.

00:47:57.000 But think how long he's been doing this.

00:47:59.000 Since he's four, he's been fucking up grizzly bears.

00:48:02.000 So he's like, all right, I'm over this, man.

00:48:03.000 And not to mention, he lives with his family, man.

00:48:06.000 He still lives with his mom and dad, his wife, and his two kids, same house.

00:48:09.000 Wow.

00:48:10.000 That's what kind of monster you're dealing with.

00:48:11.000 And then for Conor, I think it's a legacy fight where...

00:48:15.000 You know, he's coming off the Floyd Mayweather kind of train there where, you know, it was a success either way you look at it.

00:48:22.000 He made $100 million and he competed against the best of all time and lasted more rounds than anyone thought and trained for a complete boxing match.

00:48:29.000 So his striking is going to be better going in this fight.

00:48:31.000 But for him, it's not about the money.

00:48:33.000 You see him, the one interview he's done on Mac Life, you can see it.

00:48:38.000 It's like, it's a vintage Conner.

00:48:39.000 We go, oh shit, we got one here, man.

00:48:41.000 This isn't, you know, the Floyd Mayweather is more of a show.

00:48:43.000 Like, you know, we didn't think he was going to win that.

00:48:46.000 This one, you look at it, oh shit, that's vintage Conor.

00:48:48.000 This motherfucker's coming to fight.

00:48:49.000 And he might get taken down.

00:48:50.000 Yes, I guarantee you he gets taken down.

00:48:52.000 That motherfucker's going to get back up.

00:48:54.000 He's going to get up.

00:48:55.000 He's going to keep getting up.

00:48:56.000 And Khabib's going to keep coming.

00:48:57.000 And we've got a dogfight, man.

00:48:58.000 I think both guys are going to be fucked up after this fight.

00:49:01.000 It's going to be a classic.

00:49:02.000 It could be.

00:49:03.000 Or...

00:49:03.000 That's for it.

00:49:05.000 Fucking...

00:49:05.000 Khabib gets starched in seven seconds.

00:49:08.000 People are just going to be playing this on a loop.

00:49:10.000 Just...

00:49:10.000 Play this on a loop.

00:49:12.000 Khabib's got to get through the fire, you know?

00:49:14.000 He's got to get through the fire in the early going.

00:49:16.000 He's got to close that distance and he's got to do it with precision without letting his nerves affect him, right?

00:49:23.000 I mean, he's got all the shit talking Conor's done to him.

00:49:26.000 He's seen him rattle at the press conference.

00:49:28.000 He's rattled.

00:49:28.000 When he started talking about his dad, he's rattled.

00:49:30.000 And I think we've also never seen Khabib fight with high stakes.

00:49:35.000 Like when he fought Al Iaquinta, that wasn't high stakes.

00:49:37.000 Al's an amazing fighter, but that's not the same as fighting Conor McGregor.

00:49:40.000 When he's fighting Edson Barboza, that's not high stakes.

00:49:43.000 When you're fighting Conor McGregor, Conor takes all the chips on that poker table, puts it all in the middle, goes, I'm all in.

00:49:49.000 You have to be all in.

00:49:50.000 I do well under these circumstances.

00:49:52.000 How do you respond?

00:49:54.000 Yeah.

00:49:55.000 So we've never seen Khabib.

00:49:56.000 And everyone goes, oh, his cardio is great.

00:49:58.000 It is great.

00:49:59.000 But when the fucking Irish nation is rocking that fucking arena and there's all this pressure, his heart rate's going to go up.

00:50:08.000 And he's going to be like, God, I fucking hate this guy.

00:50:10.000 Khabib's never fought a guy who he hates.

00:50:12.000 He hates Conor.

00:50:13.000 Is he going to be overzealous and open himself up?

00:50:16.000 There has to be something there.

00:50:18.000 We don't know.

00:50:19.000 Aldo was an assassin until that fight.

00:50:21.000 Completely.

00:50:22.000 One of the best of all time.

00:50:23.000 Yeah.

00:50:24.000 Still is.

00:50:24.000 But that fight exposed how good Conor's psychological game is.

00:50:30.000 Because months and months of being on tour with Conor, those press conferences, Conor's stealing his belt and screaming at him and getting in his face and then starches him with one punch.

00:50:39.000 Amazing.

00:50:40.000 But what else is interesting is, remember, Conor's an amazing counterpuncher.

00:50:45.000 Well, to be an amazing counterpuncher, you need a guy to punch at you.

00:50:49.000 Khabib's not going to punch at him.

00:50:50.000 Right.

00:50:51.000 Unless it becomes an ego thing like you did with Al or Itzen Barboza where you just walk him down, there's no respect.

00:50:57.000 He might throw some punches, so it's going to be interesting for Conor to find those angles when a guy's not playing the game.

00:51:02.000 Also, Khabib has had a history of struggling to make weight.

00:51:06.000 He cannot struggle to make weight for this fight.

00:51:08.000 He's got to be on point.

00:51:09.000 He came into that press conference at 174. They said this motherfucker started camp at 180-something.

00:51:15.000 He's never been more serious for a fight.

00:51:17.000 Which, for people listening, if you're saying, like, well, Buddy fights at 155, he used to play 200. 200, yeah.

00:51:24.000 Yeah, and then get down to 155. And it was not good.

00:51:27.000 I mean, the Michael Johnson fight, he struggled.

00:51:30.000 He had, like, some real shutdown issues.

00:51:31.000 And then the Tony Ferguson fight, they pulled him out of the fight.

00:51:34.000 He can't have any of that nonsense this weekend.

00:51:36.000 Oh, no.

00:51:37.000 I don't think we will.

00:51:38.000 The nonsense, the only thing where, like, Jamie Toney's going to the fight, I would never go to this fight.

00:51:43.000 I think there's...

00:51:43.000 What?

00:51:44.000 I would not go to this fight for this reason.

00:51:46.000 I'm a complete pussy.

00:51:47.000 I think something's gonna happen in the crowd between the Russians and the Irish.

00:51:51.000 Why do you think that?

00:51:52.000 Just the animosity between the two.

00:51:54.000 They hate each other so bad.

00:51:55.000 If this fight happens for Conor, you're gonna have upset Russians.

00:51:59.000 If it happens for Khabib, you're gonna have upset fucking Irish.

00:52:01.000 I think it's gotten bigger than just a UFC fight.

00:52:06.000 Really?

00:52:07.000 I do, man.

00:52:08.000 It's so hostile.

00:52:09.000 You think you wouldn't go to this fight because the potential, the violence breaks out?

00:52:13.000 Correct.

00:52:13.000 I also don't like going to UFC fights.

00:52:16.000 I also don't like going to UFC fights.

00:52:18.000 Why don't you like it?

00:52:18.000 Because you used to fight?

00:52:19.000 It's just stressful for me.

00:52:21.000 Yeah, just super stressful for me.

00:52:22.000 Do you feel like you're going to fight again when you're there?

00:52:24.000 Yeah, I get the nerves and I'm just like, oh god.

00:52:26.000 I go complete opposite of that now.

00:52:28.000 I try to get more relaxed when I'm doing stand-up stuff.

00:52:31.000 I don't want to be in that scared mode anymore.

00:52:33.000 Yeah, that's interesting.

00:52:35.000 My heart rate, I'm just sweating the whole time.

00:52:37.000 I'm just like around, like sweating.

00:52:39.000 I look like shit.

00:52:42.000 Pull up that card.

00:52:43.000 Let me see the rest of the card.

00:52:44.000 Dude, if you're Tony Ferguson, it's like, oh yeah, and Tony's fighting.

00:52:47.000 Right.

00:52:48.000 I know.

00:52:48.000 And he's fighting Pettis.

00:52:50.000 It's not an easy fight for a comeback.

00:52:51.000 Fight for Tony.

00:52:52.000 I mean, I'm just amazed that he's able to fight again so quickly after knee surgery.

00:52:57.000 You know what's interesting to me is I asked Josh Thompson, who knows Khabib, and obviously you can talk to DC about it, but I go, dude, Tony's back.

00:53:05.000 Like, if Khabib were to win, he'd fight Tony, right?

00:53:07.000 And he goes, no interest.

00:53:08.000 That fight does nothing to him mentally.

00:53:10.000 He just doesn't care about it.

00:53:11.000 I'm like, Khabib just doesn't care.

00:53:13.000 Yeah, he's like not with Tony.

00:53:14.000 So he really just wants to fight Conor and then get out or fight GSP. From Josh Thompson's mouth, from Khabib, he wants to beat the UFC's poster boy, Dana's poster boy, and walk the fuck out.

00:53:27.000 Unless they give him a super fight.

00:53:29.000 Who the fuck has ever been 26-0 as a champion?

00:53:33.000 I think that's the only one.

00:53:35.000 Yeah, but 26-0 for sure, he's fucking fighting Dagestanis.

00:53:37.000 Who else has been an undefeated champion?

00:53:40.000 Undefeated champion?

00:53:41.000 Well, Conor was undefeated.

00:53:42.000 But Jon Jones, did he fight Matt Hamill before he won the title?

00:53:46.000 Yeah, he fought Matt Hamill on the Ultimate Fighter.

00:53:47.000 Roy Nelson, Brendan Shaw.

00:53:49.000 No, no, no, it wasn't the Ultimate Fighter.

00:53:50.000 Yeah, it was the Ultimate Fighter finale.

00:53:52.000 Because I fought Roy Nelson, Jon Jones fought Matt Hamill.

00:53:54.000 Right, not on the Ultimate Fighter.

00:53:56.000 No, you know when they do the finale.

00:53:58.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

00:54:00.000 Yeah.

00:54:00.000 That's a bullshit loss, though.

00:54:02.000 Oh my god.

00:54:03.000 You got a loss from whooping a dude's ass so bad, Derek.

00:54:06.000 You know what?

00:54:08.000 As far as undefeated champions...

00:54:10.000 Who?

00:54:12.000 I don't think there's one.

00:54:14.000 Henan Burrell.

00:54:16.000 Oh, he won, but he lost his first fight.

00:54:19.000 Henan Burrell lost his first UFC fight.

00:54:20.000 But he was undefeated, right?

00:54:21.000 I don't know.

00:54:22.000 He had like 30 wins in a row or some shit, but had a weird loss back in Brazil.

00:54:26.000 Yeah, he lost his first MMA fight, rather.

00:54:28.000 Ronda!

00:54:30.000 Yeah, Ronda.

00:54:31.000 Ronda's undefeated.

00:54:32.000 Yeah, Ronda's only two losses were the two title fights between Holly and Amanda.

00:54:38.000 Let's see.

00:54:38.000 What do you got there, Jamie?

00:54:39.000 What are you pulling up?

00:54:41.000 A list of undefeated MMA champions.

00:54:44.000 Ben Askren hanging around.

00:54:45.000 Yeah, Ben Askren's for sure one of them.

00:54:48.000 Ben Askren, to me, and I've had him on the podcast, I've said this a hundred times.

00:54:51.000 I know, I love the guy.

00:54:52.000 He's my, oh, Brian Ortega.

00:54:54.000 But Brian Ortega isn't really a champion.

00:54:55.000 Well, these aren't champions, are they?

00:54:57.000 These are just undefeated MMA fighters.

00:54:59.000 Oh, I'm sorry, yeah, yeah.

00:55:00.000 Yeah, yeah.

00:55:00.000 These aren't champions.

00:55:03.000 Ben's the one guy who I'd love to see come out of retirement and fight Khabib.

00:55:07.000 He's the one guy that's my biggest disappointment that that guy never fought in the UFC. It's a fucking shame.

00:55:12.000 But the thing is, Khabib wouldn't fight.

00:55:14.000 Nobody knows who he is.

00:55:16.000 Outside of the hardcore guys like you and myself.

00:55:18.000 Why would you fight?

00:55:19.000 And maybe lose.

00:55:20.000 Maybe get out-wrestled.

00:55:21.000 Here's the only...

00:55:22.000 If you're going to say something about...

00:55:25.000 Khabib, he's 27-0.

00:55:27.000 When you look at the body of work from Conor compared to Khabib, it's not even close.

00:55:31.000 The wins that Conor has are remarkable.

00:55:33.000 You look at the Max Holloway, Chad Mendes, Jose Aldo.

00:55:36.000 What he did to Eddie Alvarez.

00:55:38.000 Ridiculous.

00:55:38.000 That was ridiculous.

00:55:39.000 Ridiculous.

00:55:40.000 Nate Diaz win, Nate Diaz loss.

00:55:42.000 You just look at the caliber of opponents that he's faced from a very young age.

00:55:47.000 It's a nightmare.

00:55:48.000 You look at Khabib, he's 27-0.

00:55:51.000 His biggest win is probably Barboza.

00:55:52.000 Dos Anjos, when he was a little weathered, but Barboza is a perfect stylistic matchup for him.

00:56:00.000 We don't know which could be.

00:56:02.000 We know he's damn good, but how good?

00:56:04.000 He's had one weird moment in his entire career.

00:56:08.000 That's when Michael Johnson cracked him.

00:56:11.000 Wobbled him for a second, and then he took him down and smashed him.

00:56:13.000 The Gleason-T-Bow fight got a little dicey, too.

00:56:17.000 Did it?

00:56:18.000 Yeah.

00:56:18.000 Boy, I don't remember that fight at all.

00:56:20.000 But with Michael Johnson, it's funny to me because Michael Johnson landed that big overhand and people go, oh, Khabib has a weak chin.

00:56:30.000 I'm like, well, he's never been dropped.

00:56:32.000 He's never been...

00:56:32.000 Michael Johnson starched Dustin Poirier with one punch.

00:56:37.000 Don't forget about that.

00:56:38.000 Michael Johnson can fucking punch.

00:56:40.000 He's explosive as shit.

00:56:42.000 Yeah, I mean, he caught Khabib and Khabib got rocked for a second and then weathered the storm, took him down, smashed him.

00:56:49.000 It was a total dominant performance.

00:56:51.000 Yeah, if you look at his performance, like you look at his resume, Pat Healy was a tough fighter.

00:56:58.000 Tough vet.

00:56:58.000 That showed.

00:56:59.000 Abel Trujillo, he smashed Abel Trujillo.

00:57:01.000 Remember Abel, he took down more times than anyone inside that auction.

00:57:04.000 21 times, I think.

00:57:05.000 And he was a college wrestler.

00:57:07.000 Mm-hmm.

00:57:08.000 And a strong guy, too.

00:57:09.000 Abel Strong as shit.

00:57:11.000 And that's Gleason Tebow.

00:57:12.000 What is that, 2012?

00:57:14.000 That's...

00:57:14.000 Mm-hmm.

00:57:16.000 That's the juicy Tebow.

00:57:17.000 Yeah, the real big fight was the Barboza fight, and then Al Iaquinta was, I mean, as his last minute, his last minute gets.

00:57:24.000 And he still went five whole rounds with Iaquinta, which was interesting for a lot of people.

00:57:31.000 Like, I talked to Eddie Alvarez after that fight, and he was, like, very interesting.

00:57:35.000 What?

00:57:35.000 I love Eddie.

00:57:36.000 Very interesting.

00:57:37.000 Yeah.

00:57:37.000 I was like, you saw a lot of things in that fight, huh?

00:57:39.000 And he was like, yeah.

00:57:40.000 He's like, you know, once the fight got into the later rounds and he's still standing up with guys, he'll go, oh, all right.

00:57:47.000 It's so interesting to me because when you talk to anyone from AKA, obviously they're super pro Khabib, but they're like, dude, this isn't even a fight.

00:57:54.000 This is one of Khabib's easier fights.

00:57:56.000 He's definitely had way tougher matchups.

00:57:58.000 I'm like, you're crazy, man.

00:58:00.000 They're like, you should see Khabib go against Ed Ruth, who's an All-American Penn State wrestler.

00:58:04.000 He fucks him up.

00:58:05.000 He takes him down.

00:58:07.000 But that's wrestling.

00:58:09.000 That's that wrestling, that dance, that rhythm.

00:58:13.000 Conor's not on that rhythm.

00:58:15.000 No.

00:58:15.000 You're talking about a different animal.

00:58:16.000 You're talking about a guy who is one of the best fencers in the game, meaning can jump in with one shot and put you out.

00:58:25.000 And he can do it moving back, he can do it moving forward, he can time you, and he'll be very calm in there.

00:58:33.000 You will get the very best Conor McGregor.

00:58:35.000 He's also no slouch on the ground.

00:58:37.000 People think he's just going to get taken down and get crucifixed right away.

00:58:40.000 You're out of your goddamn mind.

00:58:42.000 The guy trains with Dylan Dennis.

00:58:43.000 He's brought in these Dagestani wrestlers.

00:58:46.000 He's training with the lead of the lead.

00:58:49.000 You know what Khabib's going to do.

00:58:51.000 It's way easier to train for Khabib than it is Conor.

00:58:54.000 The dark horse fight on the card is Derek Lewis and Volkov.

00:58:57.000 That's a great fight.

00:58:58.000 Alexander Volkov might be the best heavyweight on the planet.

00:59:01.000 What's he won?

00:59:02.000 His last six-fight winning streak?

00:59:03.000 He's a guy who's flying under the radar.

00:59:06.000 He's giant, too.

00:59:07.000 His last fight knocked out Verdum.

00:59:08.000 People forget.

00:59:09.000 Yeah.

00:59:09.000 Isn't he like 6'8 or some shit?

00:59:11.000 6'8, yeah.

00:59:12.000 6'8.

00:59:13.000 Giant, tall, long dude who did real well in Bellator.

00:59:17.000 World champion in Bellator.

00:59:18.000 And he has massive experience.

00:59:20.000 And you see him in that fight with Verdum.

00:59:23.000 He fucked Verdum up.

00:59:24.000 I know, man.

00:59:25.000 He's a problem.

00:59:26.000 Interesting.

00:59:26.000 Verdum just released a statement saying that USADA asked him to snitch.

00:59:31.000 Wow.

00:59:31.000 What's going on with the snitching stuff?

00:59:33.000 I don't know they offered him a lean more lenient sentence if he was willing to snitch and he goes fuck you I love Verdoom and John and then I guess John was like cool I don't know John I don't either but that's what they're saying I don't either John snitched did you hear John snitched that's that's that's what the statement says but John's manager says that he didn't say what statement from who the statement from his manager Dude,

01:00:01.000 but no, I'm not saying John did.

01:00:03.000 Let's be very clear.

01:00:04.000 All I'm saying is he came out with that statement and then Malky goes, he didn't snitch.

01:00:10.000 Everybody's like, wait, what?

01:00:11.000 Nowitzki was like, no, you said you were going to give us some info to help us out down the road with other people.

01:00:17.000 So, you know, I don't...

01:00:19.000 What?

01:00:20.000 Yeah, USADA had to release an official statement and went, hold on.

01:00:23.000 Wait a minute.

01:00:24.000 Because Maliki came out and was like, no, we never agreed to say we're going to snitch.

01:00:27.000 And then USADA was like, well, no, remember?

01:00:29.000 Remember the contract he signed?

01:00:31.000 Here's this section of the contract.

01:00:34.000 They said they would help them out in the future with other people.

01:00:38.000 I mean, bring it up, Jamie.

01:00:40.000 John Jones, world champion, walking around wearing a wire.

01:00:43.000 Hey, guys.

01:00:44.000 My creatine just ain't working.

01:00:45.000 Anyone else just exhausted today?

01:00:48.000 You guys are just so ripped.

01:00:49.000 You got anything?

01:00:49.000 What's your secret?

01:00:51.000 You got anything, bro?

01:00:52.000 Why are you in a full hoodie and sweatsuit in the sauna?

01:00:56.000 I'm going to go out on a limb here.

01:00:59.000 I don't think that John cheated.

01:01:01.000 You don't think he cheated?

01:01:03.000 No.

01:01:03.000 I don't know.

01:01:04.000 I don't know.

01:01:04.000 It's very murky waters.

01:01:06.000 I might be wrong.

01:01:06.000 I don't think he cheated.

01:01:08.000 I think he took something that was tainted.

01:01:10.000 I think that's why they're only giving him a year off.

01:01:13.000 Look, I had said it on the podcast before.

01:01:15.000 You don't have any skeptical hippo eyes about how it's shortened sentence, it's ready to go right around New York, right around the CSPN deal?

01:01:21.000 The explanation is sort of right here.

01:01:23.000 Malky says there was none, but I keep saying that and everybody keeps running with it.

01:01:28.000 Substantial assistance doesn't necessarily mean it has to be on somebody else.

01:01:31.000 It could have been on himself.

01:01:33.000 What?

01:01:33.000 So go up to the part that USADA said.

01:01:36.000 This is a verification right here.

01:01:37.000 That's what USADA released, that statement.

01:01:57.000 2. A reduction can be given if the information results in a criminal or disciplinary body bringing forward a criminal offense against individuals.

01:02:07.000 Importantly, if the athlete or support personnel fails to continue to cooperate and provide credible substantial assistance, USADA will reinstate the original sanction.

01:02:18.000 That's snitching.

01:02:20.000 I don't know.

01:02:42.000 I am hiring Malky to be my goddamn manager.

01:02:45.000 Because what he's done with John, what he did with frickin' all his guys, what he did with your boy Yo Romero, he goes to bat for them.

01:02:53.000 No one else is fucking with a golden snitch like Malky does.

01:02:56.000 And everyone else kind of just goes, ah, fuck, we got busted, man.

01:03:00.000 Not Malky, man.

01:03:01.000 That dude's going to the end of the earth to fight for your freedom.

01:03:05.000 I don't know him that well.

01:03:07.000 I don't know him as a person.

01:03:09.000 Managers are managers.

01:03:10.000 But I'm saying, if I'm the UFC, because they can't negotiate your sponsorship, it's Reebok.

01:03:14.000 So what can they really do?

01:03:15.000 Your contract, and now you've got to deal with Usado, who's a huge deal.

01:03:19.000 Malky is this fucking dog right now that you want in your back pocket.

01:03:22.000 And it's interesting that USADA has just released a statement that they're changing their policies.

01:03:27.000 So say if you piss hot, they don't...

01:03:29.000 And what's really interesting is Sean O'Malley, right afterwards, said, yo, I pissed hot.

01:03:34.000 He said, they don't want to announce that people pissed hot?

01:03:37.000 He goes, I pissed hot.

01:03:39.000 And he goes, let me tell you something.

01:03:40.000 They're going to check my supplements, and we think we've got it nailed.

01:03:44.000 We think we know what it is.

01:03:46.000 But in the meantime, this is why I was removed from this fight this weekend.

01:03:49.000 So they're not going to announce it.

01:03:50.000 They're just going to pull you from the card.

01:03:51.000 They're just going to pull you from the card.

01:03:53.000 That ain't right.

01:03:53.000 And they don't announce it.

01:03:54.000 That ain't right.

01:03:55.000 And then they go through the entire steps.

01:03:58.000 And then if you're exonerated, you were never accused in the first place.

01:04:02.000 See, the problem is whether Sean O'Malley, whoever you are, Travis Brown, whoever, name any fighter you want.

01:04:10.000 If it's even been hinted, if you've ever had an issue...

01:04:16.000 And you get that label.

01:04:18.000 People just go, he's on steroids.

01:04:20.000 They don't do a big announcement going, sorry, we didn't find anything.

01:04:23.000 My bad.

01:04:24.000 Hey, Josh Barnett, sorry you've been out for 22 months.

01:04:27.000 My bad.

01:04:28.000 What the fuck, man?

01:04:29.000 Give me some sort of compensation.

01:04:31.000 That's true.

01:04:32.000 Also, so it took you how long to figure this out?

01:04:35.000 I can't work during that time period.

01:04:38.000 And because of you, I can't work.

01:04:40.000 And you made a mistake.

01:04:41.000 And you made the mistake.

01:04:42.000 How are we going to make this right?

01:04:43.000 Oh, my bad.

01:04:44.000 You can go fight now.

01:04:46.000 That's insane!

01:04:47.000 Especially for Josh.

01:04:47.000 He's like 37. He's not young.

01:04:49.000 Or how about for...

01:04:50.000 I think he's actually older than 37. Josh might be 40. Yeah, he's long in the tooth.

01:04:54.000 He's been doing it for a hot minute.

01:04:55.000 Yeah, I mean, he was...

01:04:56.000 But think if you're Jon Jones, though, dude.

01:04:58.000 Right.

01:04:58.000 Let's say you're right, and he didn't do anything.

01:05:01.000 Nothing on purpose, and it was some bullshit supplement, and he's been dragged through the mud, rightfully so, after hitting a woman pregnant and all that.

01:05:08.000 But with this...

01:05:09.000 That's a different thing, though.

01:05:10.000 That's a different thing.

01:05:10.000 With this, you're like, what the fuck, man?

01:05:13.000 Right.

01:05:13.000 I could have fought Brock Lesnar.

01:05:15.000 I could have been living DC's life, but because of this, I've been out.

01:05:19.000 My name's been tarnished forever.

01:05:21.000 Yeah, but there was something in his urine.

01:05:24.000 There was a substance, and that substance is a performance-enhancing substance.

01:05:29.000 The real question is, did it come, like, there's a lot of people that got it from supplements.

01:05:34.000 I mean...

01:05:35.000 This is happening all throughout sports, but then there's people that say no.

01:05:38.000 They're saying that it happened from supplements, but really that's just an excuse for them getting popped.

01:05:44.000 That's what most people think.

01:05:45.000 The majority side with that.

01:05:47.000 The problem in John's situation is that he tested negative, and then he tested positive, and then he tested negative in a very short period of time, which means the amount that was in his system is a trace amount.

01:05:58.000 Which is not anything that you could take that would impart performance-enhancing benefits.

01:06:03.000 No, they said having a drop of steroids in a huge vat of water.

01:06:08.000 It's not going to benefit them.

01:06:09.000 Now, some people, and not me, man.

01:06:12.000 I'm with you.

01:06:12.000 Maybe he did take something that he wasn't supposed to, but I don't think it helped his performance.

01:06:17.000 But some people say, well, he was microdosing, so he didn't get it out of his system in time.

01:06:21.000 That's why it's such a small trace amount.

01:06:23.000 But at the time, if they would have tested him, it would have been a higher dose.

01:06:26.000 Potency.

01:06:26.000 Maybe.

01:06:27.000 I don't think you can microdose this shit, though.

01:06:29.000 I have no idea, Joe.

01:06:30.000 I don't know.

01:06:31.000 But listen, they said he didn't do it.

01:06:33.000 Here's the shitty thing, though.

01:06:35.000 Now DC's upset because they're like, KDC, we're going to strip you of one of your belts and John's going to fight for it.

01:06:40.000 But they haven't worked that out yet.

01:06:42.000 Maybe that's why the Gustafson-John Jones situation still hasn't been resolved yet.

01:06:46.000 Ding, ding.

01:06:47.000 We're going to find out this weekend.

01:06:48.000 You think?

01:06:49.000 Let me see out the card.

01:06:50.000 Yeah, I think this weekend they'll have to announce.

01:06:52.000 They have to announce something.

01:06:53.000 It's a fucking month away, man.

01:06:55.000 I mean, what else do you do?

01:06:56.000 You know, this is a great card.

01:06:58.000 I've seen the main event.

01:06:59.000 It's ridiculous.

01:07:00.000 But that Mass Square Garden card is a better fight.

01:07:02.000 Better overall fight card.

01:07:03.000 Yeah.

01:07:03.000 No, I think it is too.

01:07:05.000 This is, look, the big fights on this card are Nurmagomedov and Ferguson versus Pettis.

01:07:12.000 Nurmagomedov versus Conor is a fight for the ages.

01:07:14.000 I mean, that's absolutely one of the biggest fights in the history of the sport.

01:07:18.000 That's a giant fucking fight.

01:07:20.000 I mean, undefeated champion who just smashes and mauls people against one of the most enigmatic, charismatic fucking superstars of sports ever known.

01:07:31.000 And he's coming off of a long two-year absence from MMA where he fought the biggest boxer on the planet Earth, arguably the best boxer ever, and went 10 rounds with him.

01:07:45.000 And then he's going from that to fighting Nurmagomedov again for the title.

01:07:50.000 This is a giant fight.

01:07:53.000 Huge fight.

01:07:53.000 Biggest fight in UFC history.

01:07:56.000 For sure.

01:07:56.000 Conor has changed the sport.

01:07:58.000 I mean, he really has.

01:08:00.000 Oh, forever.

01:08:00.000 He's a different thing.

01:08:02.000 He's different than all the rest of the fighters.

01:08:04.000 He's just different.

01:08:05.000 He's so much more of a superstar.

01:08:08.000 Yeah, he's the biggest celebrity with the best talents they've ever had.

01:08:15.000 And not doing other things, too.

01:08:17.000 He's like, fuck your movies.

01:08:18.000 Dude, I know firsthand he's had some crazy offers.

01:08:21.000 I'm like, you didn't take that?

01:08:23.000 And I'm like, no, he didn't want to do it.

01:08:24.000 He says he wants to be loyal to the game.

01:08:26.000 He's like, there's plenty of time for that bullshit when I'm done fighting.

01:08:29.000 Brilliant.

01:08:29.000 Yeah, I mean, that's the way to do it.

01:08:30.000 I mean, I think that is one of the things that did Ronda in.

01:08:33.000 That she was doing everything.

01:08:35.000 I mean, they had her doing movies.

01:08:36.000 They had her doing TV shows.

01:08:37.000 I think Dad did her in, but that was the skill set.

01:08:39.000 With Connor, it's a little different.

01:08:40.000 He has the skill set.

01:08:41.000 Yes, yes.

01:08:42.000 Well, it's a more comprehensive camp, too.

01:08:46.000 I mean, there was Achilles' heel with Ronda was the camp.

01:08:50.000 I mean, look, if you're fighting someone like Amanda Nunes, you better be fully prepared.

01:08:56.000 It's just different, too, you know, with the female division, you know, it's still growing.

01:09:00.000 So, you know, what she was in her time period was one of the best of all time, was the pioneer of the sport.

01:09:06.000 But, you know, there's so much in their infancy of starting with mixed martial arts.

01:09:11.000 They're adapting fast.

01:09:12.000 So Rhonda didn't get better when everyone else got a lot better.

01:09:15.000 So by the time they caught up to her, she didn't have the skill sets of the And I think there was...

01:09:19.000 I think you're right.

01:09:20.000 I think her game didn't advance.

01:09:22.000 But I think there was also...

01:09:24.000 I mean, just...

01:09:25.000 Look, she was so fucking good compared to them in the beginning.

01:09:30.000 She was just so good.

01:09:31.000 And then she was doing everything.

01:09:33.000 She was doing TV shows, movies, everything.

01:09:36.000 Just the wrong people around, from her management to her agent, Brad.

01:09:39.000 Like, the whole thing was a nightmare.

01:09:41.000 The whole thing's a nightmare.

01:09:42.000 So she's doing all that stuff.

01:09:44.000 It worked out, though.

01:09:45.000 All these distractions.

01:09:46.000 It worked out financially up to a point.

01:09:48.000 But those two losses were big ones.

01:09:51.000 Big ones.

01:09:52.000 I mean, it worked out in the sense where she's doing something else.

01:09:54.000 She looks happy.

01:09:55.000 She's in the WWE. She's a huge star over there.

01:09:57.000 She's actually really good at it.

01:09:59.000 She's killing it over there.

01:10:00.000 If you're in the WWE, apparently she's unnatural at it.

01:10:04.000 So she's the champ over there, not getting hit in the face.

01:10:07.000 Right.

01:10:07.000 No brain damage.

01:10:08.000 Well, you can still get brain damage.

01:10:10.000 So I guess it kind of worked out.

01:10:12.000 Yeah.

01:10:13.000 When you're talking about Khabib and Conor, you're talking about the two most skillful lightweights of all time.

01:10:20.000 One guy is the best grappler we've ever seen in the UFC in Khabib.

01:10:24.000 The other is the best striker we've ever seen in the UFC. One of them, for sure.

01:10:27.000 I think he's the best.

01:10:28.000 As far as timing, as far as putting it all together, his movement, we've never seen anything like it.

01:10:33.000 I think what he does is completely different than what Wonderboy does.

01:10:36.000 We've seen a Wonderboy.

01:10:36.000 I can go watch.

01:10:37.000 I'm not taking any credit away from Wonderboy.

01:10:39.000 I'm saying from Wonderboy coming over with his kickboxing background into UFC, we've seen some of that.

01:10:46.000 Wonderboy's just the best actually.

01:10:47.000 See, the thing is, you've never seen Conor fight a guy like Wonderboy, whereas you've seen Wonderboy fight Darren Till.

01:10:52.000 You've seen Wonderboy fight someone who's that kind of a striker.

01:10:56.000 You've never seen Conor fight someone who is as dangerous standing up as he is.

01:11:00.000 Jose Aldo.

01:11:01.000 Yeah, but it was a different weight class, really.

01:11:04.000 Not at the time, that's what he fought, though, Joe.

01:11:06.000 He's so much bigger than Aldo.

01:11:08.000 No, you're right, you're right.

01:11:09.000 Remember, Jose Aldo was a fucking assassin.

01:11:12.000 What he did to Jose, for whatever reason, puts a shade over Jose.

01:11:16.000 Jose was so good, man.

01:11:19.000 He was a killer.

01:11:20.000 Striking was amazing.

01:11:21.000 Everyone's hanging off his Brazilian nuts.

01:11:23.000 And they get starched in 13 seconds.

01:11:25.000 We're like, he's alright.

01:11:26.000 Well, then the question is, did Conor catch him when he had already taken in a lot of damage?

01:11:31.000 After the second Chad Mendes fight, people started to question because the second fight, that was a war.

01:11:37.000 Great fight.

01:11:38.000 My favorite fights of all time.

01:11:39.000 Yeah.

01:11:40.000 No, it's a good point.

01:11:41.000 And then he fights a young Max Holloway.

01:11:43.000 You know, they're both young.

01:11:45.000 That's not an easy fight.

01:11:46.000 Beats Max Holloway and has a torn fucking ACL or MCL in his knee.

01:11:50.000 Does that.

01:11:50.000 He fights Dustin Poirier.

01:11:52.000 Like, you look at the guy, like Max Holloway, champion.

01:11:54.000 Dustin Poirier.

01:11:55.000 He's fighting fucking Nate Diaz now.

01:11:57.000 He could easily be the 155 champion.

01:11:59.000 Eddie Alvarez, champion.

01:12:01.000 Chad Mendes champion.

01:12:02.000 What do you know about, but you have a Chad Mendes super last minute notice, no cardio, didn't have a camp at all.

01:12:07.000 I'm just saying, a win's a win, brother.

01:12:09.000 Yeah, it's true.

01:12:09.000 It's true.

01:12:10.000 But there's a caveat next to that one.

01:12:11.000 For sure, but still.

01:12:13.000 What are you hearing about Max Holloway?

01:12:15.000 They're fighting.

01:12:16.000 It just got announced.

01:12:17.000 Is he okay again?

01:12:17.000 They're fighting in Toronto.

01:12:18.000 Yeah, he's good to go.

01:12:20.000 Bad weight cut from what I hear.

01:12:22.000 Really?

01:12:23.000 Yep.

01:12:23.000 Bad weight cut?

01:12:24.000 Yep.

01:12:24.000 So how the fuck is he going to make that weight again?

01:12:27.000 Probably go, what did we do last camp and redo everything?

01:12:31.000 He's so big, dude.

01:12:33.000 He's so big.

01:12:35.000 Ortega's big too, though, man.

01:12:36.000 He figures it out.

01:12:37.000 Yeah, but he hasn't been doing it as long.

01:12:39.000 I think the thing about the weight cutting is, and this is one of the things that I've been learning, talking to nutritionists and guys who diet and guys who get ready for bodybuilding competitions, like talking to Lane Norton last week, He's a scientist, like a legit PhD,

01:12:54.000 as well as a guy who's competed in bodybuilding.

01:12:57.000 He's like, your body does not want to do that.

01:13:00.000 And your body tries to protect you from doing it.

01:13:03.000 And the more times you do it, the more and more difficult it is for you to do.

01:13:07.000 Weight cutting is the number one primary problem with MMA. 100%.

01:13:11.000 You've got to listen to Conor McGregor's interview they did with Mack Life.

01:13:13.000 He talked about weight cutting.

01:13:14.000 What did he say?

01:13:15.000 I missed that part, but he talked about how the weight cutting was an issue and how dangerous it is and it's not good.

01:13:22.000 It's fucking terrible.

01:13:23.000 He touches on that.

01:13:24.000 Yeah, Dustin Poirier talked about that too and he said that he thinks everybody should go up one weight class.

01:13:28.000 But then, what is happening with this 165 pound title?

01:13:32.000 Because they were going to have Nate Diaz fight Dustin.

01:13:35.000 Both those guys came out and said they're going to be fighting for the title.

01:13:38.000 They came up with that game plan, which I love.

01:13:40.000 They tried forcing the UFC's hand.

01:13:42.000 Did they?

01:13:42.000 Yeah, it was their idea, which is brilliant.

01:13:43.000 Did you talk to them?

01:13:45.000 Come on.

01:13:45.000 I mean, that's their plan.

01:13:47.000 And then the UFC's like, no, they're not.

01:13:49.000 Like, Dana goes, I don't know why they keep saying this stuff.

01:13:52.000 They signed a contract.

01:13:54.000 They're fine at $55,000.

01:13:55.000 $65,000.

01:13:56.000 No, they're not fine at $65,000.

01:13:58.000 Really?

01:13:58.000 No, they're not fine at $65,000.

01:14:01.000 They made that up.

01:14:01.000 Nate Diaz and Dustin Poirier thought it'd be great to fight at $65,000 for a title.

01:14:06.000 Really?

01:14:06.000 That's not the UFC's idea.

01:14:07.000 So they just made that up?

01:14:09.000 So the UFC had to repost, like, no, it's 55. So it's like Dustin and Nate, hey, what's up?

01:14:14.000 What's up, dude?

01:14:14.000 Made a bet for a title.

01:14:16.000 Let's do this, man.

01:14:16.000 Let's say we're going to fight at 55. All right, fuck it.

01:14:19.000 You know I'm going to fuck you up.

01:14:20.000 I'll fuck you up.

01:14:20.000 Yeah.

01:14:21.000 I thought it was brilliant.

01:14:23.000 And then they tried forcing the UFC's hand, and then Dana had to come out.

01:14:27.000 And then when they told him it's not happening, there's no belt.

01:14:30.000 There's no 65-pound belt.

01:14:32.000 Nate was like, oh, fuck it, I'm out.

01:14:34.000 What is this?

01:14:36.000 This is Nate saying, I'm happy to announce I'm bringing a new weight division.

01:14:40.000 Yeah, but what is that 165-pound belt super fighter division?

01:14:43.000 What does that mean?

01:14:46.000 It's just them trolling the UFC, which is hilarious.

01:14:50.000 And then Dustin goes, it's been a long journey, but here we are.

01:14:54.000 New York City, first ever 165 out of town title, UFC 165. I like how he hashtag Thug Jitsu.

01:15:00.000 Shout out to Eve Edwards.

01:15:01.000 It's hilarious.

01:15:02.000 But then you look at it, and Dana White...

01:15:07.000 There's absolutely no truth to it.

01:15:08.000 No.

01:15:09.000 It just doesn't make any sense.

01:15:10.000 But here's the thing.

01:15:11.000 If there was truth to it, maybe you could sell that title better, that card better, if that's the title file.

01:15:19.000 That's exactly what you should do!

01:15:21.000 They fucking teed it up for you!

01:15:24.000 What are you waiting for?

01:15:25.000 But have that as well as the main event.

01:15:28.000 If you get another main event.

01:15:30.000 Why not go, alright, fuck my ego.

01:15:32.000 Let's do it.

01:15:33.000 Nate, Dustin, 165, world title, new division.

01:15:36.000 Everyone's all crunk for it.

01:15:37.000 If Jon Jones or whoever we're trying to get else, it works, great.

01:15:41.000 That's going to hype this thing every more.

01:15:42.000 But a month out, do that!

01:15:44.000 I would love...

01:15:45.000 Dustin Poirier and Nate Diaz can headline this fucking Mass Square Garden card.

01:15:49.000 It's insane not to announce someone.

01:15:51.000 But I think they want something bigger.

01:15:53.000 I think they want Jon Jones.

01:15:55.000 But...

01:15:56.000 But at 165 title, why not just the appetizer?

01:16:01.000 That's a deep, heavy appetizer to sell tickets.

01:16:04.000 Here's the craziest of crazy questions.

01:16:06.000 Please.

01:16:07.000 Here's the craziest of crazy questions.

01:16:09.000 DC is supposed to be fighting Brock motherfucking Lesnar for the heavyweight title.

01:16:14.000 Next year.

01:16:14.000 But that's next year.

01:16:17.000 Jon Jones versus DC for the heavyweight title in Madison Square Garden.

01:16:26.000 It's not happening, but...

01:16:27.000 Why not?

01:16:28.000 Because DC Harry said he can't.

01:16:29.000 They want him to fight.

01:16:30.000 Can't what?

01:16:31.000 Why can't he?

01:16:32.000 Because he wants to fight at light heavyweight.

01:16:34.000 Why?

01:16:35.000 John and I think Dana want him to fight at heavyweight, but he wants to do it at light heavyweight.

01:16:38.000 He doesn't want to do it at heavyweight.

01:16:40.000 He doesn't want to fight John at heavyweight.

01:16:43.000 Light heavyweight.

01:16:43.000 That's what he's been saying.

01:16:44.000 Listen, somebody needs to pull him aside, give him a fat bucket of Popeye's fried chicken, because that's his favorite.

01:16:49.000 By fat buck, you mean fat bucket of cash.

01:16:52.000 That's what I was going to say next.

01:16:53.000 Okay.

01:16:54.000 I was going to say a briefcase.

01:16:56.000 Slide up.

01:16:56.000 Back up the brink trucks.

01:16:58.000 Leather briefcases that have those click-click things on it.

01:17:00.000 You lift it up.

01:17:03.000 If I'm D.C., I'm not doing that.

01:17:04.000 I'm going, hold up.

01:17:06.000 I'm going to fight Brock in January or February.

01:17:08.000 I'm going to get paid.

01:17:09.000 I'm going to beat the shit out of Brock, right?

01:17:10.000 That's a big payday for me.

01:17:12.000 That's a big payday.

01:17:12.000 And then have John fight Kane.

01:17:14.000 Have John fight Stipe at heavyweight.

01:17:17.000 Let's see how he looks.

01:17:18.000 If he looks human, I'll fight that fool.

01:17:20.000 But if he looks like Uber Eam at heavyweight, I'll see you on the other side.

01:17:23.000 And I'm fucking retiring.

01:17:25.000 That is a fight, right?

01:17:26.000 Stipe versus John Jones at heavyweight in Madison Square Garden.

01:17:29.000 That would be a giant fight.

01:17:30.000 Huge fight.

01:17:31.000 That's a giant headliner.

01:17:33.000 That's a headline.

01:17:34.000 Fuck!

01:17:35.000 What?

01:17:35.000 That gets my dick hard now.

01:17:37.000 Here's one for you, though.

01:17:39.000 See, Conor vs.

01:17:43.000 Khabib could be the same biggest fight of all time in UFC history.

01:17:45.000 Pay-per-views, I don't think so.

01:17:47.000 But let's say DC would have beat Brock.

01:17:50.000 John beats Stipe.

01:17:51.000 John DC, the trilogy, at heavyweight for the world title.

01:17:55.000 You don't think that's bigger than this fight this weekend?

01:17:58.000 To me, it's bigger.

01:17:59.000 No, it's not bigger, because Conor McGregor's a bigger...

01:18:02.000 What is this?

01:18:03.000 We might see Daniel Cormier-John Jones trilogy at heavyweight.

01:18:06.000 Aha!

01:18:07.000 See what I'm saying?

01:18:10.000 See what I'm saying?

01:18:11.000 They're trying to force my boy DC into some shit he doesn't want to do, bro.

01:18:16.000 Stay strong, DC. No, no, no, no, no, no.

01:18:19.000 Take the fight.

01:18:20.000 No.

01:18:21.000 Take the fight.

01:18:22.000 No, fight Brock.

01:18:22.000 Listen, John's been off a long time.

01:18:25.000 Do you remember when he came back against Owen St. Preux?

01:18:27.000 Wasn't the best fight.

01:18:28.000 That's true.

01:18:28.000 This might be the time.

01:18:30.000 What a great story for DC if he were to beat John and then ride off in the sunset.

01:18:38.000 Imagine that.

01:18:40.000 And then rides off in the sunset?

01:18:41.000 Not to play devil's advocate.

01:18:42.000 What if he gets head kicked again at heavyweight, loses both belts, and everyone's like, well, there you go.

01:18:47.000 Well, look, John is, if not the best ever, he's one of the best ever.

01:18:52.000 I think he's the best ever.

01:18:53.000 With Mighty Mouse having lost, it's a real good argument.

01:18:56.000 I think in terms of the overall ability to get things done, you've got to look at what he's done.

01:19:02.000 He's never lost.

01:19:03.000 He only lost to Matt Hamill, and that was a bullshit loss.

01:19:05.000 Look at the guys he's fought, too.

01:19:07.000 Fought murders.

01:19:07.000 And the way he beat them, too.

01:19:09.000 Killers.

01:19:10.000 Remember when he choked Liotta out and just dropped him?

01:19:12.000 Vicious.

01:19:13.000 Just fell in a clump.

01:19:14.000 And then what he did to fucking Vitor Belfort, he submitted Vitor, was like, you're a black belt, very cool.

01:19:20.000 After he got his arm broken, Conor McGregor not keen on facing GSP next, but interested in Anderson Silva.

01:19:25.000 Get that shit out of my face, Conor.

01:19:27.000 What?

01:19:28.000 Why would he not be interested in facing GSP, but he's interested in facing Anderson?

01:19:33.000 Anderson is a 185 pounder.

01:19:35.000 We'll see what happens next, but I don't think GSP is next.

01:19:37.000 He doesn't have anything for me personally.

01:19:39.000 I'm not going to shut the door on that down the line.

01:19:43.000 You know what would be another great one?

01:19:46.000 Anderson Silva.

01:19:47.000 I think he thinks Anderson is slowed way down.

01:19:51.000 George is not slowed down yet.

01:19:54.000 George at 55 vs.

01:19:55.000 Conor is an amazing fight.

01:19:57.000 Well, at 70, it's an amazing fight too.

01:19:59.000 They're not fighting at 70. No?

01:20:00.000 Nope.

01:20:01.000 No way?

01:20:01.000 Nope.

01:20:02.000 Not happening.

01:20:03.000 What makes you say that?

01:20:07.000 What makes you say that?

01:20:08.000 You've seen George?

01:20:09.000 He looks pretty svelte.

01:20:11.000 Well, I saw one picture of him when he was in the sauna when people say he's making a test cut to 55. Ask your boy for us.

01:20:19.000 I can ask George.

01:20:20.000 Ask George.

01:20:21.000 You should call him up right now.

01:20:22.000 Call him up.

01:20:23.000 Here's my phone.

01:20:24.000 You think he's going to give us a real answer on air?

01:20:26.000 I've never called anybody.

01:20:27.000 Me neither.

01:20:28.000 Sometimes Brian does this.

01:20:29.000 It's a nightmare.

01:20:29.000 It's probably rude, right?

01:20:31.000 Yeah, they're like, what?

01:20:32.000 You're on air.

01:20:32.000 Hey, it's Rogan and Chubb.

01:20:34.000 Is there any way you're going to fight?

01:20:36.000 And they're like, dude, come on.

01:20:37.000 See, the problem with that is he's leaning in, and that image of him at 170 is in the middle of a fight, so he's all pumped up with muscle.

01:20:45.000 His muscles are inflated.

01:20:48.000 You know, he might actually be trying to make 55. He does look very slim there.

01:20:53.000 This is what I've heard through the grapevine.

01:20:56.000 GSP wants to fight, and the fight he wants is at 55, but it's only if Conor wins.

01:21:03.000 Really?

01:21:04.000 He doesn't think beating Khabib would be like a legacy fight for him.

01:21:08.000 Well, I'll tell you what, in terms of pay-per-view, that would be a giant fight.

01:21:12.000 Conor GSP? Yes.

01:21:14.000 Especially after GSP. Big boy.

01:21:15.000 Beat Bisping, got 800,000 pay-per-view buys after two, how many years out of the game?

01:21:22.000 Four?

01:21:22.000 Four.

01:21:23.000 Four years out of the game?

01:21:23.000 Four-year layoff.

01:21:24.000 Four-year layoff, comes back, and I'll tell you what, man, when he did my podcast, he's super lucid.

01:21:29.000 He's there, 100%.

01:21:30.000 Oh, yeah.

01:21:31.000 All that rest did him good.

01:21:32.000 Brilliant guy.

01:21:33.000 That rest did him good.

01:21:34.000 Smart, smart guy.

01:21:36.000 That's a fight.

01:21:37.000 That would be a giant fight.

01:21:38.000 That's a giant fight.

01:21:39.000 And he'd probably be vulnerable at 55. Yeah.

01:21:42.000 It's a good fight for Conor.

01:21:44.000 Good fight for George, too.

01:21:45.000 Do you think he'd be faster?

01:21:46.000 I mean, would he necessarily be faster at 55?

01:21:49.000 I don't think so.

01:21:50.000 I think he'd be so diminished.

01:21:52.000 Yeah.

01:21:52.000 I think he'd be solid.

01:21:53.000 Obviously, his technique's still there, but I think at 70, that's George all day.

01:21:57.000 85, not so much.

01:21:58.000 That boy looked fantastic.

01:22:00.000 Thick.

01:22:01.000 Yeah, but he said he had a real hard time keeping that weight on.

01:22:03.000 It fucked up his intestines.

01:22:05.000 Yeah, whatever it was.

01:22:06.000 Fucked up his digestive system.

01:22:07.000 Boy, it was thick.

01:22:08.000 He said he was eating all day, trying to keep the mass on.

01:22:11.000 Yeah.

01:22:12.000 That was a rough one.

01:22:13.000 Yeah, he's got some sort of a stomach issue now.

01:22:15.000 Colitis?

01:22:16.000 Yeah, that's right.

01:22:16.000 Yeah.

01:22:17.000 And he said he got it from just eating like a fucking pig while he was training.

01:22:21.000 Like, he was always, like, almost throwing up.

01:22:22.000 Jesus Christ.

01:22:23.000 Yeah.

01:22:25.000 Yeah, not good.

01:22:26.000 Ugh.

01:22:29.000 What else is on this card this weekend?

01:22:32.000 Other than that, man.

01:22:34.000 What do we got?

01:22:37.000 Michelle Watterson, Felice Herrig, that's a good fight.

01:22:39.000 That's a fun fight.

01:22:40.000 Yeah, Little Pettis fighting Juicy A, Formiga.

01:22:42.000 Formiga.

01:22:44.000 In the boxing world, you got Deontay Wilder, Tyson Fury fight, man.

01:22:48.000 I'm doing the press conference Wednesday.

01:22:50.000 I know.

01:22:51.000 That's an interesting fight.

01:22:52.000 Did you hear what Teddy Atlas said about Deontay Wilder?

01:22:56.000 Just how hard he can hit?

01:22:57.000 He called him Thor.

01:22:58.000 He's got that hammer.

01:23:00.000 He's like Thor.

01:23:01.000 How great is Teddy Atlas?

01:23:02.000 He's great.

01:23:03.000 That was a fun interview.

01:23:04.000 I didn't get to the very end, but he mentioned something of it where he was saying how he thinks it's an issue.

01:23:10.000 And I never really thought about it until you brought it up.

01:23:12.000 I've never thought about it.

01:23:13.000 When boxing became a little corrupt and got a little weird for him is when the fighters started to have their own promotions in with the boxing world, right?

01:23:22.000 Like the promoters and the fighters working together.

01:23:24.000 And now we're starting to see this now with the UFC. We're going down the same road with McGregor promotions in the UFC. Now they're in cahoots, right?

01:23:32.000 But he's also talking about how the promoters will take out the judges to dinner, you know, and it's like that's a total conflict of interest.

01:23:40.000 Even if you're not paying them, they're eating at the nicest places, drinking the nicest wine.

01:23:45.000 That's so sketchy, man.

01:23:47.000 Yeah.

01:23:47.000 So sketchy.

01:23:48.000 It's legal in some sort of strange loophole-y way.

01:23:51.000 It's very strange.

01:23:52.000 Yeah.

01:23:53.000 What else is coming up down in the future?

01:23:55.000 What else is going on?

01:23:56.000 Like, what's another big fight?

01:23:59.000 The December card, you got Cyborg Nunes happening.

01:24:02.000 Now, the December card in Toronto?

01:24:05.000 No, December card in Toronto is Brian Ortega Holloway.

01:24:07.000 Right.

01:24:08.000 So there's another December card?

01:24:10.000 The New Year's card.

01:24:11.000 You know when they do it right before New Year's?

01:24:13.000 Oh, so there's two pay-per-views?

01:24:15.000 Pretty sure.

01:24:16.000 Because the place that Valentina Shevchenko versus Sujara Eubanks...

01:24:20.000 What?

01:24:21.000 They just bumped it up.

01:24:22.000 For the vacant flyweight title were headlined UFC 230. I thought...

01:24:25.000 But I thought...

01:24:26.000 Joanna.

01:24:27.000 Yeah.

01:24:29.000 Is this just coming out today?

01:24:31.000 I was about to show you a tweet that said that they were talking about moving it up and it was in flux and then I went to look for it.

01:24:38.000 Oh wait, that's gonna headline Mass Square Garden?

01:24:41.000 What?

01:24:42.000 I've lost all energy in my body.

01:24:44.000 What?

01:24:45.000 Oh yeah, because that gets my dick harder than Dustin Poirier vs Nate Diaz for a 165 pound title.

01:24:52.000 No offense, but I don't even know who Sajara Eubanks is.

01:24:56.000 And I'm the commentator for the UFC. I've never heard of her.

01:25:01.000 And I'm not being a dick either.

01:25:02.000 I'm just saying as far as headline Mass Square Garden, you got some nerve whoever put this together.

01:25:08.000 Let's see a video on this young lady.

01:25:11.000 I'm sure she's an absolute monster.

01:25:12.000 I'm sure she is.

01:25:14.000 Congrats.

01:25:15.000 She looks scary.

01:25:16.000 How many fights does she have?

01:25:18.000 She's one in the UFC. She's one fight.

01:25:22.000 One fight in the UFC. She's four and two.

01:25:24.000 Four and two.

01:25:25.000 Okay.

01:25:27.000 And what happened with Ioana?

01:25:30.000 She must have got injured or some shit.

01:25:32.000 Yeah, I don't know.

01:25:33.000 The previous tweet was this.

01:25:37.000 Well, this is Brett Okamoto.

01:25:39.000 He's a reliable source.

01:25:40.000 Remember, ESPN's in cahoots with the UFC now.

01:25:43.000 Supposed to face Ioana, but that may change too if the switch happens.

01:25:47.000 Okay, per sources, they've discussed moving Valentina Shevchenko.

01:25:50.000 Is this the previous tweet?

01:25:52.000 Yeah, this was the previous one.

01:25:53.000 And then he made another one saying that it's locked in.

01:25:55.000 Correct.

01:25:55.000 Wow.

01:26:01.000 Fucking Britney Spears.

01:26:03.000 Who's the dude?

01:26:04.000 What's that guy's name?

01:26:05.000 Christopher Castano.

01:26:07.000 Chris underscore Castano.

01:26:09.000 That's hilarious.

01:26:10.000 He put that Britney Spears.

01:26:11.000 What?

01:26:13.000 That is fucking hilarious.

01:26:14.000 These poor girls, it sucks for them, but the magnitude of Matt's Square Garden, you're thinking it's going to be...

01:26:19.000 I was thinking Jones fucking Cain Velasquez.

01:26:23.000 I'm thinking Stipe Jones, DC Les...

01:26:26.000 Something that would just blow my hair back.

01:26:28.000 They're like, hold up.

01:26:30.000 Valentina against a girl was 4-2 with one fight in the UFC for the flyweight title.

01:26:34.000 Nico Montano, they stripped her because she didn't make weight for one fight.

01:26:38.000 What?

01:26:40.000 Those are your friends, Joe.

01:26:42.000 Hey.

01:26:43.000 Just kidding.

01:26:43.000 Listen, man.

01:26:44.000 I don't want to be a promoter.

01:26:46.000 Fuck that.

01:26:46.000 You just keep doing your thing.

01:26:48.000 Fuck that job.

01:26:51.000 You'll be working that one, though.

01:26:52.000 I was going to say, we could have done a companion just freaking went ham.

01:26:56.000 I know.

01:26:56.000 We could have.

01:26:57.000 Damn it.

01:26:59.000 When are we going to do a companion again?

01:27:00.000 Dude, when is everyone together?

01:27:01.000 When are you not working?

01:27:02.000 I don't know.

01:27:03.000 When am I not working?

01:27:04.000 Well, I'm chilling out for a while now.

01:27:07.000 That show that I did in Toronto on Saturday night was my last big show for a long time.

01:27:12.000 How long are you going to chill?

01:27:14.000 Quite a while.

01:27:15.000 Because you've got to get another hour.

01:27:16.000 Yeah, I'm at like 25 minutes, 24 minutes.

01:27:20.000 You're still going to be doing sets?

01:27:21.000 It might be nice taking a little break, though.

01:27:23.000 I'm taking this week off.

01:27:24.000 Just the week off?

01:27:25.000 Yeah, just relaxing and going to the UFC this weekend.

01:27:28.000 Yeah.

01:27:29.000 Hanging with the family.

01:27:30.000 Yeah, I'm just looking forward to just...

01:27:32.000 I did it.

01:27:33.000 It's out.

01:27:34.000 Now I'm going to chill.

01:27:35.000 And then I need to...

01:27:36.000 We need to wait until October's over so I can do some mushrooms.

01:27:39.000 Need to get some new material.

01:27:41.000 Yeah, you're in sober.

01:27:42.000 Sober October.

01:27:43.000 Sober October.

01:27:44.000 Are you going to do Sober October?

01:27:45.000 I don't drink or smoke, really.

01:27:46.000 I have nothing to be sober of.

01:27:47.000 So just say you're doing it.

01:27:48.000 I mean, yeah, I do it year-round, but sure.

01:27:51.000 You want to get involved in the fitness challenge?

01:27:53.000 Yeah, let's do that.

01:27:55.000 I got an extra one of these things.

01:27:56.000 Really?

01:27:57.000 Yeah.

01:27:57.000 All right, let's do it.

01:27:58.000 Okay.

01:27:58.000 I just worked out with you guys.

01:27:59.000 Look at that, you're in.

01:28:00.000 All right, I'm in.

01:28:01.000 Easy, easy.

01:28:01.000 What is it?

01:28:01.000 What do I got to wear?

01:28:03.000 This thing right here.

01:28:05.000 Can I turn it into a headband?

01:28:06.000 No, you put it around your waist.

01:28:08.000 Oh, sick.

01:28:09.000 Around your chest.

01:28:10.000 And then I download the app?

01:28:11.000 Yeah.

01:28:11.000 Alright, I'm in.

01:28:12.000 I'll get you one of those.

01:28:13.000 I ordered an extra one.

01:28:15.000 Fuck yeah.

01:28:15.000 Thanks, dude.

01:28:16.000 Alright.

01:28:17.000 I'm in, dude.

01:28:18.000 Yeah.

01:28:18.000 But it's not much for me, though, because I don't really drink or smoke or anything.

01:28:22.000 Like, Stanhope's a big one, yeah?

01:28:24.000 He's got to go to a doctor.

01:28:25.000 Stanhope is getting measured.

01:28:27.000 He's getting his blood work done, and the doctor's going to go, you should be dead.

01:28:31.000 Yeah.

01:28:31.000 I met him for the first time at the Comedy Store.

01:28:33.000 Super nice guy.

01:28:34.000 Oh, he's the best.

01:28:35.000 I've also heard about him forever.

01:28:36.000 He's a really nice guy to me.

01:28:37.000 He's a sweetheart.

01:28:38.000 I just think that guy's gonna be mean to me for whatever reason.

01:28:40.000 It's my own complex, but he's super nice to me.

01:28:42.000 You think they're gonna be mean to you?

01:28:43.000 Yeah.

01:28:43.000 Yeah, because a few of them have been.

01:28:45.000 Yeah.

01:28:46.000 Some have.

01:28:48.000 Well, the people, they think you're infringing on their turf, you know?

01:28:52.000 I get it.

01:28:53.000 It's stupid.

01:28:53.000 I 100% get it.

01:28:54.000 Comedy is everybody's turf.

01:28:56.000 If you can do it, you can do it.

01:28:57.000 As long as you don't steal, it's everybody's turf.

01:29:00.000 As long as the crowd's laughing, you don't steal.

01:29:02.000 Yeah.

01:29:02.000 If the crowd's not laughing, yeah, I don't belong to be there, but...

01:29:05.000 Don't steal and, you know, come up with your own shit and be nice to people and everyone should let you in.

01:29:10.000 We're all freaks and misfits.

01:29:11.000 The idea that one type of freak and misfit is okay but another type isn't.

01:29:16.000 You know, I had to deal with that especially early on.

01:29:20.000 Were you self-conscious early on?

01:29:22.000 Because you're a bigger dude and you have tattoos.

01:29:24.000 Were you self-conscious of it?

01:29:25.000 Yeah, that's why to this day I always go on stage with long-sleeved shirts.

01:29:29.000 People say, like, one of the things that people said about Strange Times, like, why don't you wear fucking shirts that fit you?

01:29:36.000 Because I don't feel good in shirts that fit me.

01:29:38.000 I mean, I don't mind wearing a shirt that fits me to the movies or to a restaurant or something like that.

01:29:43.000 But on stage, you're self-conscious about it?

01:29:44.000 I like loose things that don't show muscle.

01:29:48.000 I don't want anybody looking at my body.

01:29:51.000 Yeah, I hear you.

01:29:52.000 You know what I mean?

01:29:53.000 Yeah, like you gotta...

01:29:54.000 You couldn't go on stage with a fucking tank top on.

01:29:57.000 People are like, fuck this guy.

01:29:59.000 Any skinny jeans on?

01:30:00.000 You don't fuck this guy.

01:30:01.000 Exactly.

01:30:01.000 Fuck this guy.

01:30:02.000 It's not funny, man.

01:30:02.000 But Theo goes on stage with a tank top, and it's all good.

01:30:05.000 I know.

01:30:06.000 Brian can.

01:30:07.000 Chris can.

01:30:07.000 Yeah, it's no problem.

01:30:08.000 Don't tell Brian he can.

01:30:09.000 Brian will get upset.

01:30:11.000 Come on, guys.

01:30:12.000 Guys think I'm ripped.

01:30:13.000 No, come on.

01:30:14.000 Too a lot of body weight.

01:30:15.000 Work.

01:30:16.000 Yeah.

01:30:17.000 You know when I found a legit massage lady...

01:30:21.000 Oh my god, this lady tortured me the other day.

01:30:24.000 Do I know her?

01:30:24.000 No.

01:30:26.000 She is a trigger point specialist, and she's a strong lady.

01:30:33.000 And she gets that fucking elbow in your back.

01:30:36.000 Is she a big girl?

01:30:36.000 Yeah, she's a big girl.

01:30:38.000 She's a big lady.

01:30:38.000 That's how you know it's good.

01:30:39.000 She's fucking strong.

01:30:40.000 Does she breathe hard?

01:30:42.000 Yeah, she broke me.

01:30:43.000 That distracts me, but it's good for you.

01:30:45.000 Dude, my whole back to this day is still sore.

01:30:48.000 It was two days ago I got the massage and the areas where she broke down are sore.

01:30:52.000 Like she fucked me up.

01:30:53.000 Like she beat my ass.

01:30:53.000 I could use that.

01:30:54.000 Was it an hour long though?

01:30:55.000 She did 90 minutes.

01:30:56.000 Was she dripping wet with sweat?

01:30:58.000 Sweating like a pig.

01:31:00.000 It's like pros and cons, right?

01:31:01.000 It's like you either get the big girl who sweats and takes up all the oxygen in the room or you get the soft Asian girl and it's not a good massage.

01:31:07.000 No, I don't want that.

01:31:08.000 I want to get hurt.

01:31:09.000 Yeah, me too.

01:31:10.000 Because she loosened up a lot of shit that was bothering the fuck out of me.

01:31:13.000 I realized the importance of that, and I haven't been doing it.

01:31:16.000 I'll tell you what, when I do yoga regularly, I don't need as much massage, but I think even then, you need it.

01:31:22.000 You need everything to be, all the kinks to be worked out, broken down.

01:31:27.000 Yeah, I love massages, man.

01:31:29.000 You know the Russian Olympic team?

01:31:30.000 I was reading something about Russian athletes.

01:31:32.000 They would get massages every day.

01:31:34.000 On tons of steroids, but yeah, sure.

01:31:36.000 Yeah, a little bit of steroids.

01:31:36.000 Yeah, a little bit of that, a little bit of that.

01:31:39.000 It makes sense.

01:31:40.000 Did you ever have that guy Brian Fogle on your podcast?

01:31:43.000 Brian Fogel.

01:31:44.000 He's the guy that directed Icarus?

01:31:46.000 No, I didn't.

01:31:46.000 Did you see Icarus?

01:31:47.000 I saw Icarus.

01:31:48.000 Ridiculous.

01:31:49.000 You should have him on.

01:31:49.000 He's amazing.

01:31:50.000 Here's my thing, Joe.

01:31:51.000 When you had Teddy Atlas on, for him to come on in three hours, you have Brian Fogel or whoever.

01:31:56.000 When they do three hours on this, there's not much more I can cover.

01:31:59.000 Sure, I'll throw in some dick jokes or something.

01:32:02.000 I'm talking about dicks and fashion.

01:32:04.000 But once they go here, I don't want to...

01:32:07.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:32:09.000 No, no.

01:32:09.000 They're conversations.

01:32:10.000 They're conversations, but you covered it for three hours.

01:32:14.000 Yeah, but believe me, you're going to cover it in a different way.

01:32:16.000 It's always how it is.

01:32:17.000 You're going to have your own take on things, especially as a guy who's actually fought professionally and actually played football.

01:32:23.000 My only thing is, it's my own thing.

01:32:25.000 If I hear it on your show for three hours, I don't want to go over it on my show.

01:32:30.000 I'm like, I know this guy.

01:32:31.000 It's not a mystery anymore.

01:32:32.000 I see what you're saying.

01:32:33.000 You know what I'm saying?

01:32:34.000 I see what you're saying, but I don't think...

01:32:37.000 I don't think that way.

01:32:38.000 When I heard Jocko on Tim Ferriss, I didn't say, oh, I don't want to have that guy on, because Tim Ferriss covered it thoroughly, which he did.

01:32:47.000 Different.

01:32:48.000 Yeah, different.

01:32:48.000 I hear you, though.

01:32:49.000 I hear you.

01:32:49.000 Like with Justin Renn.

01:32:51.000 He's like, dude, coming to town, doing Rogan.

01:32:53.000 I'll do yours after.

01:32:54.000 I'm like...

01:32:55.000 If you're talking about kids and water in Africa for three hours in Rogan, you really don't need to do mine, bro.

01:33:00.000 He's bringing Rafael Lovato in as well, too.

01:33:04.000 But again, you guys got this.

01:33:06.000 Well, we're contributing to his fight for the forgotten.

01:33:10.000 We're donating money, and we're also a part of the Cash App.

01:33:14.000 Donates $5 every time someone signs up for the Cash App.

01:33:19.000 You use the promo code Joe Rogan, all one word, and the Cash App sends you five bucks, and the Cash App sends Justin Wren's Fight for the Forgotten.

01:33:27.000 That's cool, man.

01:33:28.000 Five bucks.

01:33:28.000 Yeah, they've raised thousands of dollars just doing that.

01:33:31.000 And building wells?

01:33:32.000 They've built two wells already.

01:33:33.000 They're in the process of building more.

01:33:35.000 You guys are doing...

01:33:36.000 Are you guys going to do a benefit?

01:33:37.000 A comedy benefit?

01:33:38.000 I would do anything.

01:33:39.000 I'll help out however I can.

01:33:40.000 But he doesn't need to come on my show to do it.

01:33:42.000 If he's going to go in here for three hours, I'll do whatever you want.

01:33:44.000 Well, it's the same like...

01:33:45.000 Let me make sure I don't forget his name.

01:33:46.000 It's the same like...

01:33:47.000 I was on the plane the other day, man.

01:33:49.000 And this...

01:33:51.000 I don't want to mess up his name and be a dickhead.

01:33:53.000 Oh, Ray Borg.

01:33:54.000 Have you seen Ray Borg and his son?

01:33:56.000 No.

01:33:57.000 His son was sick, right?

01:33:58.000 His baby's having these surgeries.

01:34:00.000 And I saw someone post a shirt that Ray Borg—go to Ray Borg's Instagram or Twitter.

01:34:06.000 He posts a shirt.

01:34:07.000 He goes, all these proceeds from this shirt go to help me pay for my child's medical bill.

01:34:13.000 And so someone goes, Shob, look into this.

01:34:15.000 And so I click on it.

01:34:16.000 And I see, you know, I have a two and a half year old son.

01:34:18.000 I see his son on the, like the freaking respirator.

01:34:23.000 Broke my heart, man.

01:34:24.000 So I DM'd him.

01:34:25.000 And Ray, I'm sure a bunch of people hit you up, man.

01:34:28.000 There it is.

01:34:30.000 I DM'd Ray because we need help with the medical bills.

01:34:32.000 I will pay for your medical bills, Ray.

01:34:34.000 I will cover it, man.

01:34:36.000 So when I say here, I get emotional because I see his son.

01:34:40.000 When I say, I'll help you, Ray, I'm dead serious, man.

01:34:43.000 I'm not one of these guys who just, I don't need the publicity.

01:34:46.000 I don't need any of that.

01:34:47.000 I sent you my, I DM'd you my number.

01:34:49.000 I will cover the medical bills, man.

01:34:51.000 I got you, brother.

01:34:53.000 I got you, man.

01:34:54.000 Hit me up.

01:34:55.000 It's not a game.

01:34:56.000 It's no publicity.

01:34:57.000 I will take care of you and your family.

01:34:59.000 That's it.

01:35:00.000 Whoa, look at you.

01:35:01.000 You got all emotional.

01:35:02.000 Dude, when I see his kid on there, man.

01:35:04.000 Look at you.

01:35:05.000 I've never seen him broken up like this before.

01:35:07.000 I know.

01:35:07.000 This took me by surprise.

01:35:08.000 Sorry, dude.

01:35:09.000 I'm good now.

01:35:10.000 Do you know Ray?

01:35:11.000 I don't know him at all.

01:35:12.000 Never met him.

01:35:13.000 Wow.

01:35:13.000 Never met him.

01:35:15.000 So, how much money does he need to raise?

01:35:17.000 I don't know, but I'm fucking rich.

01:35:22.000 I'm doing a show in Utah.

01:35:24.000 I'll donate all the money I make for my six shows in Utah to medical bills.

01:35:27.000 Beautiful.

01:35:28.000 That's beautiful, man.

01:35:29.000 Wise Guys, St. Louis, October, I think 10th through the 12th.

01:35:32.000 I'm doing four, I think it's six shows.

01:35:34.000 I'll take all that money and you can have it, Ray.

01:35:35.000 That's beautiful.

01:35:36.000 Yeah.

01:35:37.000 That's a beautiful place, too.

01:35:39.000 Great place, man.

01:35:40.000 Yeah.

01:35:41.000 Love Utah.

01:35:42.000 Does he not have medical insurance?

01:35:44.000 I don't know.

01:35:45.000 I don't think it covers it.

01:35:46.000 And, you know, he's a broke fighter.

01:35:47.000 Yeah.

01:35:48.000 He's a broke fighter, man.

01:35:49.000 And I just...

01:35:50.000 Dude, I'm so fortunate.

01:35:51.000 Like, me finding stand-up and I get so much cool stuff in the works and this Bravo show.

01:35:56.000 I'm like, dude, you just can't take, take, take.

01:35:59.000 Yeah.

01:35:59.000 You know, I give to my family and all that.

01:36:01.000 I'm like, we have to figure something out here.

01:36:03.000 So when I saw that, I'm like, what the fuck, man?

01:36:05.000 That's awesome, man.

01:36:06.000 I love that.

01:36:06.000 I love that about you.

01:36:08.000 Yeah.

01:36:08.000 Look at you.

01:36:09.000 I know.

01:36:09.000 Yeah.

01:36:10.000 I didn't mean to talk about it on here.

01:36:12.000 I don't know.

01:36:12.000 We got brought up on that.

01:36:13.000 But I reached out to him, and I think he thought, like, oh, I'm sure.

01:36:17.000 I'm not going to donate, like, $100 or something, man.

01:36:19.000 Right.

01:36:19.000 Yeah.

01:36:20.000 Well, maybe he just was overwhelmed, you know?

01:36:22.000 That's what I'm thinking.

01:36:23.000 That's why I'm sure he listens to the show.

01:36:25.000 I know he listens to Fire and the Kid.

01:36:26.000 I just thought of it now.

01:36:27.000 Well, imagine the amount of time that it must be taking up to not just train, but also to deal with his son and his son's medical issues and the family and the bills and all the other stuff.

01:36:39.000 Yeah.

01:36:39.000 My son stubs his toe and my heart drops, man.

01:36:42.000 Yeah, it's hard, man.

01:36:43.000 Falls on the ground like, what?

01:36:45.000 Isn't it crazy?

01:36:45.000 Did you ever feel so vulnerable in your life?

01:36:47.000 Oh my god.

01:36:47.000 I'm terrified of the world now.

01:36:49.000 Terrified.

01:36:50.000 I'll be driving my car.

01:36:51.000 I'm like, gotta slow down, man.

01:36:52.000 Do you think of people different now that you have a kid?

01:36:55.000 100%.

01:36:55.000 I'm way more, I'm way more like, I'm more scared of the world.

01:36:59.000 I feel like I'm more loving now.

01:37:02.000 I also, if I have friends who are shitty dads, I barely hang out with them anymore.

01:37:06.000 I hold resent against them.

01:37:08.000 Because I'm like, dude, that little dude needs you so bad, man.

01:37:10.000 Yeah, yeah.

01:37:12.000 Now I feel the same way.

01:37:14.000 Yeah.

01:37:15.000 You know, the thing is, like, I feel sad for people who don't make the transition.

01:37:21.000 You know, there's a transition to being a father that some people resist, where it becomes a primary focus of your life.

01:37:28.000 It becomes a big, big, big deal.

01:37:30.000 But if you make that transition, the love that comes out of that, and the change that it brings about in you, and the benefits for your child, they're so substantial.

01:37:41.000 Oh, I mean, and it's so cliché.

01:37:43.000 Oh, it's the best thing I've ever done.

01:37:44.000 Straight up, man.

01:37:45.000 I've had a cool fucking life.

01:37:46.000 It is by far the best thing I've ever done.

01:37:48.000 I want a squad.

01:37:50.000 I want, because the love I get from that little dude, I'm like, three of you would be even cooler.

01:37:55.000 Yeah.

01:37:55.000 Are you going to have more?

01:37:56.000 Oh, 100%.

01:37:57.000 You're working on it right now?

01:37:58.000 Yep, 100%.

01:37:59.000 Shooting live ones?

01:37:59.000 Trying, man.

01:38:00.000 Trying.

01:38:01.000 It's fucking, yeah.

01:38:02.000 Yeah.

01:38:02.000 I don't know if this thing's working, but whatever.

01:38:05.000 You got a fucking tail.

01:38:06.000 A tail.

01:38:08.000 Yeah, they say take zinc.

01:38:10.000 Take zinc and magnesium.

01:38:11.000 Now I'm taking all these weird pills.

01:38:13.000 Yeah.

01:38:13.000 Get that cum going.

01:38:16.000 You got to save your loads too.

01:38:18.000 I know.

01:38:18.000 Save your loads until a big day.

01:38:20.000 Yeah, I went to a fertility clinic and they were all, when's the last time you jacked off?

01:38:23.000 Like right in front of my girl.

01:38:25.000 Yeah, I'm like, damn, bro.

01:38:26.000 You're like, I don't.

01:38:27.000 Damn, I forget.

01:38:29.000 Never.

01:38:29.000 I don't even do it.

01:38:30.000 I don't need to.

01:38:30.000 Look at me, bro.

01:38:31.000 Dude, I had to go give them a sample.

01:38:34.000 Yeah?

01:38:34.000 Just to see how my guys are swimming.

01:38:36.000 Did you try to fill the cup?

01:38:37.000 Well, first of all, it wasn't very professional at all.

01:38:40.000 They're like, just go down there.

01:38:42.000 Was your girl with you when you had to give them a sample?

01:38:44.000 Yeah, man.

01:38:45.000 Did you tell her to help you?

01:38:46.000 She was busy talking to the guy in there.

01:38:49.000 She was talking to the doctor.

01:38:50.000 He's like, he'll just take you to the back.

01:38:52.000 I'm like, alright.

01:38:52.000 What?

01:38:54.000 So you had to jerk off knowing your girl's in the other room?

01:38:56.000 Dude, so I walk into this room.

01:38:58.000 It's this Mexican dude just like, hey man, just go in there.

01:39:01.000 Don't touch anything.

01:39:02.000 Just fill up the thing.

01:39:03.000 And he goes, oh yeah, the porn's on here.

01:39:06.000 It's like an old school TV, VCR, like old school.

01:39:11.000 I'm like, dude, I don't need any of this.

01:39:13.000 I have a fucking cell phone.

01:39:31.000 I'll take it from here.

01:39:33.000 Yeah.

01:39:33.000 How sterile.

01:39:36.000 I would have been super shady.

01:39:37.000 I would have told my wife, you're coming with me.

01:39:39.000 Dude, I felt like it was embarrassing, too.

01:39:41.000 Like I hand him the thing in a bag and he just looks at it, takes it out.

01:39:44.000 Look at your loads.

01:39:45.000 Oh, dude.

01:39:46.000 I felt sick.

01:39:46.000 What if he opened it up and smelled it?

01:39:49.000 Nah, you're good, man.

01:39:50.000 Eat a lot of asparagus, bro.

01:39:52.000 And then when you're walking back, just everyone knows that you're coming back.

01:39:55.000 You just get done jacking off.

01:39:56.000 Yeah.

01:39:57.000 You should walk up with your arms up in the air like you scored the winning touchdown.

01:40:00.000 Yeah.

01:40:01.000 Yes!

01:40:02.000 Enjoy that.

01:40:03.000 Fuck!

01:40:04.000 Yes!

01:40:05.000 But what happened?

01:40:06.000 This is my thing.

01:40:07.000 And I went kind of down to Eddie Bravo conspiracy.

01:40:09.000 I'm like, what if you're like, damn, your sperm's not good, dude.

01:40:12.000 We're going to need more loads.

01:40:13.000 And they take your sperm.

01:40:14.000 They take that.

01:40:14.000 They're like, he's a big dude.

01:40:16.000 We're going to use his genetics.

01:40:18.000 Right.

01:40:18.000 And they sell that shit black market.

01:40:20.000 There's a bunch of little browns running around.

01:40:22.000 You know what has happened many times, more than once, is these doctors at fertility clinics swap out other people's cum for their own, and they have a bunch of their own babies running around.

01:40:32.000 Like, these people have wanted specific genetics, and this one red-headed doctor just shoot loads into cups.

01:40:37.000 And then everybody's like, hey, why does my fucking kid have red hair?

01:40:42.000 What the fuck?

01:40:43.000 Why is he a redhead and nerdy, man?

01:40:45.000 One doctor got arrested.

01:40:46.000 I think he fathered like a hundred children.

01:40:49.000 Oh my god.

01:40:51.000 Yeah, something crazy.

01:40:53.000 Crazy person.

01:40:54.000 More awesome.

01:40:55.000 Give it back to the world.

01:40:56.000 I think he's just a crazy person.

01:40:58.000 Spread his seed.

01:40:59.000 Yeah, he was running a sperm bank or a fertility clinic, one of those.

01:41:02.000 And he just decided, no, it's going to be all me.

01:41:05.000 All my loads out there.

01:41:07.000 Dude, don't you think for like a retirement plan for these athletes?

01:41:10.000 Is this the dude?

01:41:10.000 Yeah.

01:41:12.000 What is that image?

01:41:13.000 That's him.

01:41:14.000 Oh.

01:41:14.000 Okay, he looks like shit.

01:41:15.000 There's a bunch of these...

01:41:16.000 52 counts.

01:41:17.000 There's a bunch of these guys.

01:41:19.000 There's not just one.

01:41:20.000 This is 1992. 92?

01:41:22.000 Yeah.

01:41:23.000 No, no, I'm talking about like real recent.

01:41:25.000 Dude, he got 280 years in prison.

01:41:27.000 Oh yeah, shit.

01:41:28.000 He got in prison for that?

01:41:29.000 280 years, son.

01:41:30.000 280 years for jerking off.

01:41:32.000 Who could be sentenced.

01:41:34.000 Oh.

01:41:34.000 Dude, don't you think if a retired fighter, let's say, or athlete, just in general, like Kershaw Walker, someone paid him a million dollars for him to blow a load into a cup.

01:41:43.000 Did you ever watch the HBO expose on Bikram from the Bikram Yoga?

01:41:49.000 Oh, yeah.

01:41:49.000 He was fucking...

01:41:50.000 Here he is.

01:41:51.000 Indiana fertility doctor used his own sperm...

01:41:54.000 This is 2016. Around 50 times, papers say.

01:41:58.000 Wow.

01:41:59.000 This is a recent guy.

01:42:00.000 I think there's been a bunch of these guys throughout history.

01:42:03.000 I think they should test every one of those guys.

01:42:07.000 They should make sure that they're not doing that.

01:42:09.000 Anybody running a fertility clinic, I think it's just like, you get bored over and over again.

01:42:13.000 Guys are jacking off into cups, and you're like, you know what would make my day exciting?

01:42:16.000 If I take out this load and put it in my load.

01:42:18.000 British man, 600 children.

01:42:20.000 There you go.

01:42:21.000 Wow.

01:42:22.000 Fathered 600 children at own fertility clinic.

01:42:25.000 Wow.

01:42:26.000 Repeatedly using his own sperm fertility clinic he ran.

01:42:29.000 That's some sketchy shit, man.

01:42:32.000 See?

01:42:32.000 I'm telling you, this is a normal thing.

01:42:34.000 Guys are gross.

01:42:35.000 Guys are gross.

01:42:36.000 Men are gross.

01:42:36.000 Have a woman run that thing.

01:42:37.000 Women who are anti-men, listen, I swear to God, we're not all like this, but I get it.

01:42:42.000 I get it, too.

01:42:43.000 I really do get it.

01:42:44.000 I talked about it in my special.

01:42:45.000 There's some creeps.

01:42:46.000 I mean, I talked about it in this last special.

01:42:48.000 Like, I get it.

01:42:49.000 If I was a woman, I'd be a feminist.

01:42:51.000 I get it.

01:42:51.000 We're fucking gross.

01:42:53.000 But not all of us.

01:42:54.000 Not all of us.

01:42:55.000 I would never jerk off into 600 Cups and pretend it was someone else's lowest.

01:42:59.000 That would never even cross my mind.

01:43:00.000 That's not me.

01:43:01.000 But I know that there's guys like that out there.

01:43:04.000 That does not surprise me in the slightest.

01:43:09.000 But if he's some fucking fat, gross guy with a little tiny dick and some woman with this banging ass and little tiny waist and big old titties comes in and she's like, you know, we're just trying to get pregnant.

01:43:22.000 We're really struggling.

01:43:23.000 So we decided to go the sperm donor route.

01:43:25.000 Like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:43:26.000 We got a super athlete and he's a genius.

01:43:29.000 Another guy.

01:43:30.000 He's a genius.

01:43:31.000 Doctor uses his own sperm to father 11 kids.

01:43:33.000 Look at this guy.

01:43:34.000 Old ass.

01:43:35.000 Look how old he is.

01:43:37.000 He's got a broom on his head.

01:43:40.000 Jesus.

01:43:40.000 That might actually be his real hair.

01:43:43.000 Fuck, no.

01:43:44.000 Let me see another image.

01:43:45.000 That's the worst wig I've ever seen.

01:43:47.000 Let me see that.

01:43:47.000 No, that's his hair, man.

01:43:49.000 No, I don't think so, bro.

01:43:49.000 Back it up.

01:43:50.000 Back it up.

01:43:51.000 Back it up.

01:43:52.000 Pause.

01:43:53.000 Go full screen.

01:43:54.000 No, you can get wigs like that.

01:43:56.000 That's his hair, bro.

01:43:57.000 I don't think so, dude.

01:43:58.000 That is a wig.

01:44:00.000 You can get wigs like that, dude.

01:44:02.000 Bro, that's his hair.

01:44:03.000 You crazy.

01:44:04.000 He's just got whack hair.

01:44:06.000 Why would you get a wig and get it all gray and fucked up like that?

01:44:10.000 Because you're 90. At least you're 90. Why do you want a wig?

01:44:15.000 You just want your head to be free?

01:44:17.000 He's trying to fuck bitches, bro.

01:44:18.000 He obviously has a problem.

01:44:19.000 I see dudes with fucked up hair, and I just want to go up to them and go, listen to me, man.

01:44:24.000 There's so much freedom in shaving your head.

01:44:26.000 Just look at me.

01:44:27.000 I've never been happier.

01:44:28.000 Shave your head.

01:44:29.000 It's easy for you.

01:44:30.000 If I had hair, I'd shave it.

01:44:32.000 If I had hair, I'd shave it.

01:44:33.000 No, if you had the set of hair like you did in your 20s, you would not shave it.

01:44:36.000 Yes, I'd fucking shave it.

01:44:37.000 Bro, come on.

01:44:38.000 100%.

01:44:38.000 I would absolutely get a crew cut.

01:44:40.000 I'd get it buzzed down.

01:44:41.000 You'd have it shaved head?

01:44:42.000 Yeah.

01:44:43.000 You had some nice hair, man.

01:44:45.000 There's some good pics.

01:44:46.000 Barely.

01:44:46.000 It's an illusion.

01:44:47.000 My hair was going quick.

01:44:49.000 Was it?

01:44:49.000 I've always had thin hair.

01:44:50.000 Fine.

01:44:51.000 It's very fine.

01:44:52.000 They're not thick hairs.

01:44:53.000 You know, but I swear, even if I... I shaved my head, the first time I shaved my head back when I was fighting, I was like, so stupid.

01:45:02.000 I didn't want anybody to grab my hair.

01:45:03.000 That was my thought.

01:45:04.000 If you shave your head, someone can't grab your hair.

01:45:06.000 Yeah.

01:45:07.000 So stupid.

01:45:07.000 But I was like 17 or 18. But I remember thinking, like, God, this is so freeing.

01:45:12.000 It is nice.

01:45:12.000 Like, yeah, you don't think about it.

01:45:14.000 You just wash and then go.

01:45:15.000 Go.

01:45:16.000 There's no nothing, but you got a stylish coif.

01:45:19.000 You got a little shave on the side.

01:45:19.000 Well, when I was fighting, I didn't.

01:45:21.000 When I was fighting, I shaved it, because I remember I was getting ready for a jiu-jitsu tournament, and I was fixing my hair in the mirror, and I was like, what the fuck, man?

01:45:28.000 How's this going to help?

01:45:29.000 Then I shaved it the next night.

01:45:30.000 That's a good move.

01:45:31.000 And I did that for my entire career until I retired, and I'm like, it's time to get my sexy on.

01:45:36.000 I grew this shit out.

01:45:38.000 You don't want to have cauliflower ears and a shaved head.

01:45:41.000 Bravo's not hiring that guy.

01:45:43.000 Bro, relax.

01:45:44.000 So Bravo hired you, and are you liking it over there?

01:45:48.000 I do like it.

01:45:49.000 What is that like, working for Bravo?

01:45:50.000 I know.

01:45:51.000 I thought you were going to make fun of me when, so Jerry O'Connell, who's on the show with me, he came, he saw one of my sets, came in the back, and you and Brian were back, and I was like, I'm about to get roasted by Rogan and fucking Callan.

01:46:01.000 And you guys are so nice about it.

01:46:03.000 Why would I make fun of it?

01:46:04.000 I thought it's a good gig.

01:46:05.000 It's a great gig.

01:46:06.000 It's perfect for your personality to just make fun of shit.

01:46:08.000 Yeah.

01:46:08.000 Originally, I didn't think it was a good gig.

01:46:11.000 The guy who does, or one of the producers who does Below the Belt on Showtime, Michael Davies at MC Rowe, I was talking with him.

01:46:18.000 He goes, we're doing this Bravo show with Andy Cohen.

01:46:21.000 And he goes, you watch Bravo?

01:46:22.000 I go, all the time.

01:46:23.000 He goes, no, you don't.

01:46:24.000 I go, literally all the time.

01:46:25.000 Give me a question.

01:46:26.000 Name a show.

01:46:27.000 And he's like, you really do?

01:46:28.000 He goes, dude, we're putting the show together.

01:46:29.000 You should audition for it.

01:46:31.000 And I was like, I felt weird about it.

01:46:32.000 I talked to my agent.

01:46:33.000 I'm like, I don't know if that's for me, man.

01:46:35.000 He goes, just audition, see what happens.

01:46:37.000 But then I went in there and did a chemistry test with Jerry O'Connell, and he's hilarious.

01:46:42.000 Oh, Jerry O'Connell.

01:46:43.000 Yeah, that's right.

01:46:44.000 He came backstage.

01:46:45.000 Yeah.

01:46:45.000 See, I didn't put the two together.

01:46:47.000 I didn't realize that he was backstage because he was doing that thing with you.

01:46:50.000 He's a very nice guy.

01:46:51.000 He's nice, and he's funny as hell.

01:46:53.000 And I thought, all right, this won't be too bad.

01:46:55.000 I know my Real Housewives, but I was like...

01:46:58.000 How many of those shows do you watch?

01:47:00.000 I watch Real Housewives of Orange County, Married in Medicine, Atlanta, New York, Below Deck.

01:47:06.000 My wife, she's been DVR and Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

01:47:11.000 Oh, yeah.

01:47:12.000 And it was on the, you know, when you turn on the TV, it's already recording, so it's playing.

01:47:17.000 So I sat there, and as the show was on, my jaw got more and more slack, like this, like...

01:47:23.000 Yeah, it's pretty crazy.

01:47:25.000 My eyelids got heavy and I just got...

01:47:28.000 All of a sudden you had a fake ass.

01:47:31.000 It droned me in.

01:47:32.000 It made me dumber and dumber.

01:47:35.000 My brain started drying out.

01:47:37.000 I changed it quickly.

01:47:39.000 I gotta run.

01:47:40.000 I had to put on Neil deGrasse Tyson's stuff.

01:47:42.000 Quick!

01:47:43.000 Put on Cosmos.

01:47:44.000 I think I like it for me because fighting, what I do when I cover fighting when I was fighting, it's so serious, man.

01:47:50.000 That's how I got into that stuff.

01:47:52.000 I was like, dude, I just got done.

01:47:54.000 Sparring Shane Carlin.

01:47:55.000 Let me go home and eat a bag of Twizzlers and watch Real Housewives of Orange County.

01:47:58.000 Watch some silliness.

01:47:59.000 And then at frickin', here we are.

01:48:00.000 Sometimes it's fun when those bitches go off on each other.

01:48:03.000 They're so mean.

01:48:04.000 And you know, the thing is, like, when you get them on camera, and then they know they're on camera, so they try to be extra mean on camera.

01:48:11.000 Oh, dude.

01:48:12.000 Yeah, they know exactly what they're doing.

01:48:13.000 Hey, I'm just keeping it real.

01:48:14.000 I'm just being real, bitch.

01:48:15.000 You're being real.

01:48:16.000 You're being real cunty.

01:48:18.000 I know.

01:48:19.000 It's cool seeing Jerry O'Connor, who's been in the industry forever, but then Andy Cohen, who's a producer on it, and then we had Kelly Rip on the show.

01:48:26.000 He's just around these entertainment monsters.

01:48:27.000 I like to see the way they work, and they're there for a reason.

01:48:31.000 You see Kelly Rip and how fast she is and how professional she is.

01:48:35.000 She's a monster.

01:48:36.000 Or Andy Cohen who puts all this together.

01:48:38.000 He's a monster.

01:48:39.000 Is she still doing that show with Michael Strahan?

01:48:41.000 She does it now with Ryan Seacrest.

01:48:47.000 The same show?

01:48:47.000 Same show.

01:48:48.000 It's called Kelly and Rhino.

01:48:49.000 So Strahan retired?

01:48:51.000 He went to Good Morning America.

01:48:52.000 Oh, okay.

01:48:53.000 And there was like a little bit of beef.

01:48:54.000 I don't know exactly what happened.

01:48:55.000 With her and him?

01:48:56.000 Yeah.

01:48:56.000 She was like, I can't believe you're leaving.

01:48:58.000 And there's some weird beef, I guess.

01:49:00.000 I wonder if he gave her the beef.

01:49:02.000 I don't think so.

01:49:04.000 He might have, though.

01:49:05.000 I bet he has a tomahawk.

01:49:08.000 Big fella.

01:49:08.000 Yeah, big old fella.

01:49:10.000 Great football player, too.

01:49:12.000 Seems like a real friendly guy.

01:49:14.000 A little too friendly ass to me.

01:49:16.000 A little too good on the mic.

01:49:18.000 Very charismatic.

01:49:19.000 Dude, he's amazing.

01:49:20.000 And made no attempt to fix that gap in his teeth.

01:49:22.000 Zero.

01:49:23.000 Kind of like that.

01:49:24.000 Me too.

01:49:24.000 I saw Matt Runyon one time.

01:49:26.000 He's zoomed up.

01:49:28.000 He's fast as shit.

01:49:30.000 One of the greatest players of all time.

01:49:31.000 So fast up.

01:49:32.000 Yeah, he's a super athlete.

01:49:34.000 You know what's amazing?

01:49:35.000 That a guy that's been playing that much football has knees.

01:49:38.000 Like, how does his knees still work?

01:49:39.000 I agree.

01:49:40.000 It's very strange.

01:49:41.000 What's going on there?

01:49:42.000 I'd like to get an MRI. Maybe you got injected with some freaking stem cells and all that.

01:49:46.000 Maybe.

01:49:46.000 Some new means.

01:49:47.000 Mm-hmm.

01:49:49.000 Dude, they fixed me the fuck up, man.

01:49:51.000 And I still need to do it.

01:49:52.000 I keep saying I'm going to do it.

01:49:53.000 My fucking right shoulder was so jacked.

01:49:55.000 And now it's like I don't have a problem with it at all.

01:49:59.000 There's nothing wrong with it.

01:50:00.000 Your whole body feels better?

01:50:02.000 Well, they do it intravenously.

01:50:04.000 And when they do it intravenously, it takes care of little things.

01:50:07.000 And it takes care of things over a course of a few months.

01:50:11.000 Like, over one and two.

01:50:13.000 And by the way, what I had done here in America is nothing compared to what Dr. Neil Reardon is doing down in Panama.

01:50:20.000 What T.J. Dillashaw went down there.

01:50:22.000 That's why T.J. thanked him when he beat Cody and he won the title.

01:50:25.000 Or defended the title against Cody.

01:50:27.000 And that's why Mel Gibson was on talking with Neil Reardon.

01:50:31.000 Yeah, everyone swears by it.

01:50:33.000 Dude, Mel Gibson's dad was 92 on death's door.

01:50:35.000 Couldn't walk.

01:50:36.000 Now he's 100. And walking around.

01:50:38.000 Goddamn.

01:50:39.000 Goddamn.

01:50:39.000 Yeah.

01:50:40.000 They go there every few months.

01:50:42.000 Every few months get jolted.

01:50:43.000 But what you do, it's not as good, but it's similar.

01:50:47.000 Yeah, well, they do it in America.

01:50:48.000 It's not as extreme, and they're doing tests on it.

01:50:53.000 They're called exosomes.

01:50:55.000 They used to think it was stem cells that were doing all the regenerative work, but now they think that stem cells are releasing exosomes.

01:51:02.000 So now they just take exosomes and they put exosomes with platelet-rich plasma and they inject them directly into injuries.

01:51:10.000 And they're having tremendous results.

01:51:13.000 Tremendous results.

01:51:14.000 Dude, I had a fucking full-length rotator cuff tear.

01:51:18.000 I remember you had a huge problem.

01:51:19.000 It's gone.

01:51:20.000 I need it for my neck.

01:51:21.000 My rotator cuff tear is gone.

01:51:23.000 It doesn't exist anymore.

01:51:25.000 I got a new MRI. There's no more tear.

01:51:27.000 That's fucking magic.

01:51:29.000 That's some magic shit.

01:51:29.000 Most people would have to have surgery.

01:51:30.000 Yes, I was going to.

01:51:31.000 I was trying to put it off.

01:51:33.000 That's what I was trying to do.

01:51:35.000 I was like, eventually I'm going to have to have surgery.

01:51:37.000 Now I'm like, I don't need surgery.

01:51:38.000 I see it from my neck.

01:51:39.000 What's going on with your neck?

01:51:40.000 It got injured during the Travis Brown camp and then in my last fight, which is four years ago, which is a crazy thing, long ago, four years ago, when I went to go take down Travis, all his weight, he sprawled and landed on my neck.

01:51:52.000 And if you look at tape, my neck folds like this with his hips on top of me.

01:51:55.000 I showed this in my neck.

01:51:58.000 And ever since then, it's been fucking just not great.

01:52:01.000 Did you ever get an MRI? I got one a while ago.

01:52:04.000 And there's one of the, what do you call them?

01:52:06.000 One of the things are dead.

01:52:08.000 One of your discs?

01:52:09.000 Yeah, one of your discs is like black.

01:52:11.000 Black?

01:52:12.000 Yeah, I guess one of the discs.

01:52:13.000 There's an issue with one of the discs.

01:52:15.000 Ooh.

01:52:15.000 Yeah, I know.

01:52:16.000 Black?

01:52:16.000 Yeah.

01:52:17.000 What's that about?

01:52:17.000 I don't know.

01:52:18.000 They don't know what that means?

01:52:19.000 They did.

01:52:20.000 This is a while ago.

01:52:21.000 I should do it again.

01:52:22.000 That was right after the fight.

01:52:23.000 I should do it again.

01:52:24.000 After the podcast, we'll talk because I'll send you to my doctor.

01:52:27.000 I just sent Kenny Florian down there.

01:52:29.000 Oh, yeah?

01:52:29.000 Yeah.

01:52:30.000 Yeah, I could use it.

01:52:31.000 Yeah, they're doing...

01:52:31.000 Well, one of the things they do for discs, they do stem cells as well, but they also do something called Regenikine.

01:52:36.000 That's the thing that Kobe Bryant and Peyton Manning, they were going to Germany to get done, and now they do it in America.

01:52:42.000 They've been doing it in America for quite a while now.

01:52:44.000 That's what fixed my neck.

01:52:46.000 When I had bulging discs in my neck and my hand was going numb, Regenicane fixed me.

01:52:50.000 I need to do something.

01:52:51.000 I just got to make it a priority.

01:52:53.000 I've been so busy, I haven't been able to stop.

01:52:55.000 It's nice, though.

01:52:56.000 Yeah.

01:52:57.000 Look at you out there hustling.

01:52:58.000 Hustling.

01:52:58.000 Little birdie told me you got a Showtime special coming out.

01:53:01.000 We've got a comedy special coming out in January.

01:53:03.000 Oh, shit!

01:53:03.000 Are you going to film it in January or it's going to come out in January?

01:53:05.000 Film it in January.

01:53:06.000 Where are you filming it?

01:53:07.000 The Sprecklin Theater in San Diego.

01:53:09.000 Oh, shit.

01:53:11.000 What day?

01:53:11.000 Big Boy Arena.

01:53:12.000 I think it's on the 27th.

01:53:15.000 How many shows are you filming?

01:53:17.000 Two.

01:53:18.000 Nice.

01:53:19.000 That's good.

01:53:19.000 I know four is ideal, but we're doing two.

01:53:21.000 Four is ideal, but two is good.

01:53:22.000 Yep, it's that Saturday.

01:53:24.000 It's the 20...

01:53:25.000 Or no, that's the 26th.

01:53:26.000 26th?

01:53:26.000 You in town?

01:53:27.000 No.

01:53:27.000 I am now.

01:53:28.000 Yes!

01:53:29.000 Shop special.

01:53:31.000 AUB special.

01:53:34.000 Bam, son!

01:53:35.000 Big boy moves.

01:53:36.000 Yeah, alright.

01:53:37.000 I'm going to write San Diego there.

01:53:39.000 Okay, location, San Diego.

01:53:43.000 Yeah, big boy moves, man.

01:53:44.000 Do you feel weird about filming something?

01:53:47.000 You feel pumped about that?

01:53:49.000 Super pumped about it.

01:53:51.000 Super pumped about it.

01:53:53.000 Super excited about it.

01:53:53.000 I know the product, the quality is going to be great.

01:53:56.000 I guess for me, it's more of like...

01:53:59.000 I told you, you're the first person I told, but I wouldn't go to the comedy store and be like, oh, what's up, dude, doing a comedy.

01:54:06.000 I feel weird around other comics because I feel like they're going to judge me.

01:54:10.000 Like, what the fuck?

01:54:11.000 You're doing a comedy special?

01:54:12.000 You can't listen to them.

01:54:12.000 It's not that I listen to them.

01:54:13.000 I just don't.

01:54:14.000 I feel like if maybe there's comics who've been doing it for 10 years and they have no big-time special, it's like I don't want them to hold resentment toward it.

01:54:23.000 Not that I can deal with any of that, but that's why I don't share it with everyone.

01:54:26.000 Well, I tell comics, the difference between you and them is that you have a professional athlete's work ethic.

01:54:32.000 And comics have very little work ethic.

01:54:35.000 They're lazy as fuck.

01:54:36.000 That's the number one problem.

01:54:38.000 If you say, what's the number one problem with comics?

01:54:40.000 Jerking off in front of women.

01:54:42.000 Number two, lazy.

01:54:46.000 I'd say number three, just self-sabotage.

01:54:48.000 A lot of comics I see doing the same material over and over.

01:54:53.000 Listen, me getting a special on Showtime doesn't take anything away from you.

01:54:56.000 It's a good level playing field.

01:54:58.000 They give out a ton.

01:54:59.000 Just because Chris DeLea got a special on Netflix doesn't mean they took it away from you.

01:55:04.000 Right.

01:55:05.000 There's room for everybody.

01:55:07.000 There is, yeah.

01:55:08.000 Either you're just not funny or you're not putting in the work.

01:55:10.000 I have nothing to do with it.

01:55:11.000 Or, yeah, I mean, guys don't like to edit either.

01:55:15.000 That's another problem.

01:55:15.000 They don't like to chop their things down and boil them and make them better.

01:55:19.000 You know, they have a bit.

01:55:20.000 They say it a certain way and they like to say it that way forever.

01:55:24.000 Can't do that.

01:55:25.000 No.

01:55:25.000 Comedy is a living thing.

01:55:27.000 It's like a living art form.

01:55:28.000 It's constantly changing and evolving.

01:55:30.000 I had a friend come to see me, and then they came to see me four months.

01:55:33.000 They were like, dude, that fucking bit is totally different.

01:55:34.000 I'm like, yeah, you gotta tweak it.

01:55:36.000 Gotta always be tweaking it.

01:55:37.000 I think the only way for me to tweak is doing on stage.

01:55:40.000 I write it out different, but I only find it on stage.

01:55:44.000 100%.

01:55:44.000 So I have to do those full weekends, Thursday, Friday, Saturday.

01:55:47.000 That's where it's at.

01:55:48.000 Two, two, two, two, two, two, and just roll.

01:55:49.000 Yeah.

01:55:50.000 I find that even with theaters.

01:55:52.000 When I'm doing two theaters a night, I get more done than just one.

01:55:56.000 One of the things about these big places, you're just doing one show.

01:55:59.000 Yeah.

01:55:59.000 You're really better off.

01:56:01.000 Like, one of the things I'm looking forward to is somewhere around December, I'm going to start booking clubs.

01:56:06.000 And I'm going to, you know, I'll do like Oxnard.

01:56:10.000 I'll do like Levity Live in Oxnard.

01:56:12.000 I'll do like the Comedy Works in Denver.

01:56:14.000 Yeah, I'll do some, maybe even the Punchline in San Francisco.

01:56:18.000 Or Sacramento, you mean?

01:56:20.000 San Francisco, too.

01:56:21.000 Is there a Punchline?

01:56:22.000 Isn't there?

01:56:23.000 I'm doing Punchline in Sacramento in November or December.

01:56:26.000 That's a great little gig, but it's near a lot of cracked out people.

01:56:30.000 I've been there before, man.

01:56:33.000 That parking lot's sketch.

01:56:34.000 I stay far away, drive on me.

01:56:36.000 Yeah, that parking lot's sketch.

01:56:39.000 Yeah, Red Van almost got killed walking back to the hotel.

01:56:42.000 Jesus Christ.

01:56:44.000 I don't stay at the normal.

01:56:45.000 Yeah, the parking lot's sketchy, but the club's awesome.

01:56:48.000 So you start doing a bunch more clubs?

01:56:50.000 Yeah, that's the deal.

01:56:52.000 You have to have those four-set weekends, five-set weekends.

01:56:56.000 You'll have a bit that you come in on Thursday, and then by the time Saturday rolls around, that bit's alive.

01:57:01.000 It's cracking!

01:57:02.000 Yep.

01:57:03.000 But it's also one of the great things about being able to work so much in L.A. Like Thursday night I did four sets.

01:57:10.000 At the store?

01:57:11.000 No, I did three at the store and one at the improv.

01:57:13.000 Jesus.

01:57:14.000 Yeah.

01:57:14.000 I did two main room shows.

01:57:16.000 I had my show in the main room.

01:57:17.000 I did Skylar Stone's show in the main room.

01:57:19.000 And then I did the OR. And then before that, I did a show at the improv.

01:57:24.000 I like the improv.

01:57:25.000 Improv's not bad, man.

01:57:27.000 You know, now that they push that fucking piano to the side.

01:57:30.000 Piano out of the way, yeah.

01:57:30.000 Jesus, that piano was stupid.

01:57:32.000 Like, how many people use that fucking piano that you're blocking half the stage?

01:57:35.000 Just Brian Kellen.

01:57:37.000 Does he use it?

01:57:37.000 He'd get on their neck like he's playing the piano.

01:57:39.000 It's hilarious.

01:57:40.000 But not anymore, Brian.

01:57:41.000 They got rid of it.

01:57:42.000 Sorry, Brian.

01:57:43.000 Sorry, B. Yeah.

01:57:44.000 I mean, who would use it?

01:57:45.000 Chris Robinson.

01:57:46.000 Yeah, that's it.

01:57:48.000 That's it?

01:57:49.000 That's it.

01:57:50.000 Just an old-school thing to do?

01:57:52.000 Well, yeah.

01:57:52.000 I think it's like a witty thing to have around.

01:57:55.000 Like, how many people who have a piano in their house actually play the piano?

01:57:58.000 What a dick move.

01:58:00.000 Have a piano in your house?

01:58:01.000 Especially if you have the back part open.

01:58:03.000 Oh, I know.

01:58:04.000 Like your Mozart or some shit.

01:58:06.000 Like you're gonna fucking run a whole time.

01:58:08.000 Dun-dun-dun-dun.

01:58:10.000 I wish I could play the piano, to be honest with you.

01:58:12.000 I'd have people over and play it.

01:58:13.000 Would you interrupt the Super Bowl, press pause?

01:58:15.000 Fuck yeah, we're gonna take a moment and I'm gonna fucking play this.

01:58:18.000 I will now play a concerto.

01:58:21.000 Everyone put your pizza down.

01:58:22.000 Yeah, we're gonna drink white wine and I'm gonna play the piano.

01:58:25.000 Just the biggest dick move ever.

01:58:27.000 Do you ever think you get to the point where you're so pretentious you're willing to go to a musical?

01:58:32.000 A musical?

01:58:33.000 Or the opera?

01:58:33.000 I'll go to some musicals, bro.

01:58:35.000 I went to Hamilton by myself in New York like a psycho.

01:58:38.000 Why'd you do that?

01:58:39.000 And I left early.

01:58:41.000 Why'd you do that?

01:58:42.000 I like plays and theater.

01:58:45.000 I went to see Annie at the Hollywood Bowl.

01:58:47.000 Was it good?

01:58:47.000 No.

01:58:47.000 You took your kids?

01:58:49.000 Yep.

01:58:49.000 Yeah.

01:58:49.000 It wasn't good.

01:58:50.000 You don't like that stuff, though?

01:58:51.000 Nope.

01:58:52.000 See, I like that stuff.

01:58:53.000 I was thinking about all sorts of other things.

01:58:55.000 For sure.

01:58:55.000 I was going over my act while it was happening.

01:58:58.000 I couldn't enjoy it.

01:58:59.000 I was so bored.

01:59:00.000 I know the story.

01:59:01.000 That's part of the problem.

01:59:02.000 That's a big problem.

01:59:03.000 It's like going to see King Kong.

01:59:04.000 Hey, guess what?

01:59:05.000 King Kong dies at the end, you fuck.

01:59:07.000 Spider-Man 2. I'm over it.

01:59:08.000 Yeah, I mean...

01:59:09.000 Yeah, we know the story, yeah.

01:59:10.000 Spider-Man's gonna live.

01:59:11.000 He's gonna become Spider-Man.

01:59:12.000 I mean, maybe there's some possible twists and turns if they're gonna redo it.

01:59:16.000 But at the end of the day, King Kong dies.

01:59:18.000 True.

01:59:19.000 And Annie, they didn't change a goddamn word.

01:59:22.000 Were your kids loving it?

01:59:23.000 Or they were like, nah, that's some bullshit.

01:59:24.000 Nah, they were a little bored too.

01:59:25.000 See, that's a prom.

01:59:26.000 Yeah.

01:59:26.000 But you know what's a fun one?

01:59:27.000 Well, this might be too much.

01:59:29.000 I don't know.

01:59:29.000 How old are your kids?

01:59:30.000 Eight and ten, the little ones.

01:59:31.000 They have Nightmare Before Christmas live there where Danny Elfman comes?

01:59:35.000 Yeah, we've done that.

01:59:35.000 That shit's dope.

01:59:36.000 That was good because they- I went last year as a grown man.

01:59:38.000 They also play, they have music, but they also play the movie.

01:59:41.000 But they have the actual characters.

01:59:43.000 Yes.

01:59:43.000 Like the lady from Home Alone, the mom.

01:59:45.000 Yes.

01:59:46.000 She's the voice.

01:59:47.000 Mm-hmm.

01:59:47.000 Danny Elfman.

01:59:48.000 Yeah.

01:59:49.000 Danny Elfman has that big dick energy.

01:59:51.000 Does he?

01:59:51.000 He just rolls up there like, you don't give a fuck.

01:59:54.000 He's got that Scientology energy.

01:59:54.000 Is it Scientology?

01:59:55.000 Yeah.

01:59:56.000 Oh, man.

01:59:56.000 He's got that Tom Cruise energy.

01:59:57.000 Ah, bro.

02:00:00.000 That weird energy.

02:00:01.000 It does work.

02:00:01.000 Spaceship energy, bro.

02:00:03.000 Spaceship energy.

02:00:05.000 Spaceship energy.

02:00:06.000 That's a new one, bro.

02:00:07.000 Doesn't seem to bother them.

02:00:09.000 That's hilarious.

02:00:10.000 That's a good show, though.

02:00:11.000 But I went to Hamilton.

02:00:12.000 I had no idea.

02:00:13.000 I was there for a night.

02:00:14.000 I was shooting that Bravo show.

02:00:15.000 I'm all by myself.

02:00:16.000 Went and got a nice, proper meal.

02:00:17.000 Oh, so you did this recently.

02:00:19.000 That's like three weeks ago, dude.

02:00:20.000 So you got a proper meal by yourself?

02:00:22.000 All by myself.

02:00:22.000 Got the prime rib.

02:00:24.000 Just ordered the prime rib.

02:00:25.000 Very keto.

02:00:26.000 Ate by myself.

02:00:27.000 Expensive little meal.

02:00:28.000 I'm like, whatever.

02:00:28.000 See ya.

02:00:29.000 Went online.

02:00:30.000 Bought a...

02:00:31.000 Not a cheap ticket to Hamilton.

02:00:33.000 Sat there and was like, oh, this is cool.

02:00:35.000 So you just decided to do this because you're on Bravo, let me do some other gay things?

02:00:38.000 Nah, man.

02:00:39.000 Just trying to live, bro.

02:00:40.000 Trying to embrace the New York vibe.

02:00:42.000 Broadway.

02:00:43.000 Live.

02:00:43.000 Everyone's been talking about Hamilton forever.

02:00:45.000 Are they really?

02:00:46.000 Who are you talking to?

02:00:47.000 It's the talk of the town.

02:00:49.000 This is the first time anybody in front of me has ever talked about it.

02:00:53.000 Literally.

02:00:54.000 Maybe in my circles, bro.

02:00:55.000 I just feel like...

02:00:56.000 It was a big deal, so I get there, right?

02:00:58.000 And I'm like, all right, this will be cool.

02:01:00.000 And they wrap the entire time.

02:01:02.000 And so an hour and a half goes by.

02:01:04.000 I'm like, oh, that was fun.

02:01:05.000 And we go to get up.

02:01:06.000 I'm like, well, that was good.

02:01:07.000 And the guy's like, that's intermission.

02:01:09.000 There's another hour and a half.

02:01:10.000 I went, no fucking way.

02:01:13.000 So I thought, you know what?

02:01:14.000 Let's not waste money.

02:01:15.000 I don't want to disrespect the town.

02:01:16.000 Let's just sit down.

02:01:17.000 So I sat down.

02:01:18.000 Started to get back up.

02:01:19.000 This fat dude started to sing.

02:01:20.000 I went, you know what?

02:01:21.000 I'm fucking out of here.

02:01:22.000 And I walked out.

02:01:23.000 And as I'm leaving, the guy working goes, he knew me.

02:01:25.000 He goes, Shub, who leaves early?

02:01:27.000 Who leaves Hamilton early?

02:01:28.000 I went, I do.

02:01:29.000 And just fucking got out.

02:01:30.000 I was like, dude, I can't do it, man.

02:01:32.000 When I was 18 years old, I was dating this girl.

02:01:34.000 And she took me to see Cats.

02:01:36.000 That's an old school one, yeah.

02:01:39.000 It's not your thing.

02:01:40.000 It was a murderous assault on my attention span.

02:01:44.000 They're tough.

02:01:44.000 They're crawling around like I'm a cat.

02:01:49.000 It is the worst piece of shit.

02:01:53.000 I couldn't believe how bad it was.

02:01:55.000 Nick Kroll had a great thing.

02:01:56.000 He goes, can we stop pretending you're in the fucking, it's the Thomas Jefferson day?

02:02:00.000 He goes, what the fuck is this?

02:02:01.000 Why are you guys acting like you're in the middle of a fucking war zone?

02:02:05.000 You're on a fucking stage.

02:02:06.000 I was laughing so hard because that's his background.

02:02:09.000 Cats?

02:02:10.000 No.

02:02:10.000 He was in a war zone or Hamilton?

02:02:11.000 No, no, Hamilton, all these.

02:02:13.000 Look at this.

02:02:14.000 Look how bad this is.

02:02:15.000 Rawr, I'm a cat.

02:02:17.000 Dude, she must have been the hottest girl ever to get you to go to this thing.

02:02:21.000 She was hot.

02:02:22.000 I'll put up with some shit, yeah.

02:02:25.000 Well, I mean, she was 18, too.

02:02:27.000 We were both 18, and we were both like, maybe this is what adults do.

02:02:31.000 Yeah, let's go do this.

02:02:32.000 Let's go pretend to be adults.

02:02:34.000 And then you were bored.

02:02:35.000 Was she bored or was she all into it?

02:02:36.000 She was just like, sorry.

02:02:37.000 I thought it was going to be good.

02:02:38.000 My bad.

02:02:39.000 I mean, she had never been before.

02:02:41.000 It was one of those things, you know, you hear, like, we're going on a date.

02:02:46.000 Let's go to a musical.

02:02:47.000 Okay, yeah, let's go see Cats.

02:02:49.000 See, I'm not, I've never been, I won't ride it out.

02:02:51.000 I won't be like, oh, let's just get through this.

02:02:52.000 Even if a movie, if it's boring, I'm out, man.

02:02:55.000 I'm, see ya.

02:02:56.000 Good for you.

02:02:57.000 See ya, man.

02:02:57.000 You gotta be able to do that.

02:02:58.000 Gotta just pull the dream like this sucks, right?

02:03:00.000 Otherwise they're torturing you.

02:03:01.000 The worst.

02:03:02.000 Yeah.

02:03:03.000 That's the worst, man.

02:03:03.000 When was the last time you saw a good movie?

02:03:07.000 What's the last good movie you've seen?

02:03:09.000 God, with the kiddo, it's tough to go to the movies.

02:03:12.000 Are you going to see Little Feet?

02:03:13.000 Are you going to take your kid to see Little Feet this week?

02:03:14.000 Have you seen it?

02:03:15.000 No.

02:03:15.000 I want to see it.

02:03:16.000 Hell yeah, LeBron James is in it.

02:03:19.000 A lot of people say that's the first sign they knew that he was going to go to the Lakers.

02:03:22.000 For sure.

02:03:24.000 He's doing Hollywood.

02:03:26.000 He's going Hollywood.

02:03:27.000 I've been watching a bunch of shows on Netflix.

02:03:30.000 Have you seen Sinner with Jessica Biel?

02:03:32.000 No.

02:03:32.000 I heard it's amazing.

02:03:33.000 That shit's really good.

02:03:34.000 She should have won the goddamn Emmy.

02:03:36.000 What is that?

02:03:36.000 An encore show or something?

02:03:37.000 It was on USA. It was on USA and they brought it over to Netflix.

02:03:41.000 Oh, now it's on Netflix?

02:03:42.000 Yeah, it's on Netflix and it is straight up.

02:03:44.000 It's intense.

02:03:46.000 The first episode you're like, what the fuck?

02:03:49.000 That's damn good.

02:03:52.000 I haven't seen a good movie in a long time, man.

02:03:54.000 You watch Ozark?

02:03:55.000 No, I watched the first one and couldn't get into it.

02:03:58.000 What?

02:03:59.000 I know.

02:04:01.000 What?

02:04:02.000 I know, bro.

02:04:03.000 People love it.

02:04:04.000 They're on season two, right?

02:04:05.000 I'm on season two, episode nine.

02:04:06.000 And you love it?

02:04:08.000 Dude, if I get a show I like, I will just fucking power through that thing.

02:04:12.000 It's a good show, man.

02:04:13.000 I'm telling you.

02:04:13.000 Give it a chance.

02:04:14.000 I'm on it.

02:04:14.000 Yeah, I gotta get on it.

02:04:15.000 It keeps getting better, too.

02:04:16.000 You're the second person who told me now.

02:04:17.000 It's fucking good.

02:04:19.000 What about Strange Times or Stranger Things?

02:04:21.000 Yeah, Stranger Things.

02:04:22.000 Stranger Things.

02:04:24.000 Have you seen that?

02:04:24.000 Yeah.

02:04:25.000 You've seen that, right?

02:04:26.000 Yeah.

02:04:26.000 Yeah, it's good.

02:04:26.000 It's amazing.

02:04:27.000 They're doing season three now.

02:04:29.000 This is the best time ever to be a lazy fuck and just sit in front of the TV. There's more content.

02:04:34.000 And it's not like the content's going away.

02:04:36.000 That's what's really crazy.

02:04:37.000 Dude, I laugh at shows.

02:04:38.000 Like, I'll watch Good Morning America or something in the morning.

02:04:41.000 When commercials hit, I laugh.

02:04:43.000 I'm like, you silly fucks.

02:04:44.000 Yeah, I know.

02:04:45.000 What is this?

02:04:46.000 I'm like, what are you doing?

02:04:46.000 I'm just going to go to something else.

02:04:47.000 I'm not dealing with this.

02:04:48.000 It's like AM radio.

02:04:50.000 I know.

02:04:50.000 It's so old school.

02:04:52.000 Commercials.

02:04:54.000 Yeah.

02:04:54.000 Interrupting them.

02:04:55.000 I get mad when people do commercials in the middle of podcasts.

02:04:57.000 Do you do commercials in the middle of your podcasts?

02:04:59.000 No, I do them all up front.

02:05:00.000 That's right.

02:05:01.000 I do them all up front.

02:05:02.000 That's how you do it.

02:05:03.000 I mean, obviously I've learned from you.

02:05:04.000 Fuck all that interrupting.

02:05:06.000 I think people get upset and they'd rather not buy.

02:05:10.000 I think if people were inclined, they were like, you know what, Chobb?

02:05:12.000 I'll try the Squarespace shit out because you advertise it in front of your podcast.

02:05:17.000 And get it fucked up the flow.

02:05:19.000 We've had some that ask for mid-roll, but it's very rare.

02:05:23.000 Usually it's all up.

02:05:24.000 Everything's up front.

02:05:26.000 Everything's up front.

02:05:26.000 It's the way to do it, man.

02:05:28.000 Even with FM radio, I'd go into certain cities and I just had this conversation with my agent.

02:05:33.000 I'm like, dude, I'm not doing press anymore.

02:05:35.000 I'm not doing press because also it's a different animal for me because these big sport FM radio stations bring me on.

02:05:41.000 Conor McGregor, Khabib, break it down.

02:05:42.000 I'm like, I got my own show, bitch.

02:05:44.000 Turn to Showtime.

02:05:45.000 Turn to Below the Belt, my podcast.

02:05:47.000 Listen to that.

02:05:48.000 Me breaking down Conor Khabib is not selling any comedy tickets.

02:05:51.000 If you want to talk about just life, I'm down.

02:05:55.000 You want me to break down the fucking Broncos game or Khabib Conor?

02:05:58.000 It's not happening, man.

02:05:59.000 Well, there's also a problem with if you're lucky, your personality goes well with them.

02:06:04.000 But I've had many during my days of doing the road and doing radio, I've had many times where I just did not vibe with the person who was the DJ. Not at all.

02:06:14.000 And it became a real issue.

02:06:15.000 Yeah, and then you come off as a dick.

02:06:17.000 Like, some things I'll be like, I don't want to talk about that.

02:06:19.000 Like, you know what I'm talking about?

02:06:20.000 No, I don't want to talk about an ex-girlfriend.

02:06:22.000 Do you want to talk about an ex-girlfriend?

02:06:23.000 Like, what are you doing, man?

02:06:24.000 Yeah, like, what are you doing?

02:06:25.000 Like, you just try to make things controversial because you're not interesting.

02:06:28.000 Yeah, or...

02:06:30.000 We want to make you uncomfortable.

02:06:31.000 Oh, dude, or I'll...

02:06:32.000 You and Dana White, what's the deal there?

02:06:34.000 I'm like...

02:06:35.000 No deal.

02:06:35.000 What do you want?

02:06:36.000 How am I going to make this and sell comedy tickets?

02:06:39.000 How's that going to work, dude?

02:06:41.000 Well, it's just they're not that good.

02:06:42.000 No, there's a reason why they're on radio.

02:06:44.000 There's a lot of people out there doing it that are just not that good at it.

02:06:47.000 There's some who are great.

02:06:48.000 I used to think that when I was doing it.

02:06:49.000 When I was doing radio, I'd be like, you're just not an interesting person.

02:06:52.000 No.

02:06:53.000 You're like noise in between people that are talking, that are interesting, that you're interviewing, in between music.

02:07:01.000 And you have a giant ego.

02:07:02.000 Yep.

02:07:03.000 They have the biggest egos, I think.

02:07:05.000 And also, it's so old school to move tickets.

02:07:09.000 It doesn't make sense to me.

02:07:10.000 Well, you know what's more old school and more gross?

02:07:13.000 Those morning TV shows.

02:07:15.000 Good morning, Dallas.

02:07:17.000 Hi, we're here with Brendan Shaw from the UFO. And he's here to talk about knuckle fighting or something.

02:07:25.000 What do you do?

02:07:26.000 Dude, I did one and spoke, and it was the last...

02:07:29.000 Literally, I was like, oh, I'm out.

02:07:30.000 There's no more.

02:07:31.000 I'm never doing this again.

02:07:33.000 There's no more.

02:07:33.000 Here we are with Brendan Schwab.

02:07:36.000 Brendan, UFC... NFL! Comedy!

02:07:39.000 Where do you stop?

02:07:40.000 Real quick.

02:07:41.000 How about the weather?

02:07:42.000 And had me read the...

02:07:43.000 And I went, what?

02:07:44.000 And they go, you want to take the weather from here?

02:07:46.000 I went...

02:07:48.000 I'm like, you want me to read your weather report?

02:07:51.000 You should stick your butt out like that one Mexican chick with a giant ass.

02:07:55.000 Have you ever seen her?

02:07:56.000 Oh, in the Mexican?

02:07:58.000 Oh, dude.

02:07:59.000 Oh, she makes me sweat.

02:08:00.000 I would read her weather.

02:08:01.000 Is she Mexican or South American?

02:08:03.000 I forget.

02:08:03.000 She's Mexican.

02:08:04.000 Oh, my Jesus.

02:08:06.000 Oh, dude, she is.

02:08:07.000 Oh, my God.

02:08:07.000 See, that's different.

02:08:09.000 I would do that radio station.

02:08:10.000 You should look at her before you jerk off into a cup.

02:08:12.000 Here she is.

02:08:13.000 Look at her.

02:08:14.000 Oh my god.

02:08:15.000 Look at this, she's wearing almost nothing.

02:08:17.000 Look at the booty.

02:08:19.000 Look at that booty.

02:08:20.000 They can't help but stare at Garcia.

02:08:22.000 What is her name?

02:08:23.000 Mexican.

02:08:24.000 Yanet Garcia.

02:08:25.000 Break the internet.

02:08:26.000 Oh my god.

02:08:27.000 Her body's off the charts.

02:08:29.000 Temperatura.

02:08:30.000 They're doing it fucking right, aren't they?

02:08:32.000 Yeah, that's how you do it.

02:08:34.000 Yeah, I mean, who gives a fuck if she knows anything?

02:08:38.000 You know, who knows...

02:08:40.000 1.3 million for just having a blowout ass.

02:08:44.000 That is a blowout ass, too.

02:08:46.000 Perfect body.

02:08:48.000 Look at her.

02:08:48.000 Look at her in her underwear.

02:08:50.000 Oh, my God.

02:08:51.000 Look at her butt.

02:08:52.000 She is gorgeous.

02:08:54.000 She's pretty goddamn hot.

02:08:55.000 See?

02:08:55.000 Now, that makes sense.

02:08:57.000 What you should do is go out there and get down your underwear and stick your ass out.

02:09:00.000 I need to do some shows in Mexico, it sounds like, and do some press.

02:09:03.000 Yeah.

02:09:04.000 Remember I said no press?

02:09:05.000 Correct.

02:09:06.000 I'm here to do the Mexican weather.

02:09:08.000 And I'm just here to do the weather.

02:09:09.000 Only here to talk about clouds coming in.

02:09:12.000 She just broke up with a pro gamer Call of Duty game.

02:09:16.000 Oh, so she's single, huh?

02:09:17.000 She was dating a nerd?

02:09:19.000 That's amazing.

02:09:20.000 Rich nerd, though.

02:09:21.000 Nerds are coming up.

02:09:22.000 Rich nerd.

02:09:22.000 Those Call of Duty nerds are coming up.

02:09:25.000 I just heard about her recently for some reason, and that's what it was.

02:09:28.000 Pro gamers might as well be golfers now, right?

02:09:30.000 Dudes get paid.

02:09:31.000 Yeah, right?

02:09:32.000 They might as well be golfers in terms of money.

02:09:34.000 Them and YouTubers.

02:09:36.000 Like, just straight YouTubers?

02:09:37.000 A lot of them stupid money.

02:09:42.000 Hate, son.

02:09:42.000 And no major network, nothing.

02:09:45.000 Nothing.

02:09:45.000 If you ask freaking Logan Paul, come on, Good Morning America, he's like, suck it.

02:09:49.000 What the fuck?

02:09:50.000 He dumped her to work on Call of Duty.

02:09:52.000 He what?

02:09:53.000 He dumped her to work on his Call of Duty game.

02:09:55.000 Let me see this kid.

02:09:56.000 She probably wanted too much dick.

02:09:59.000 Oh, he's a handsome fella.

02:10:00.000 Handsome old Mexican fella.

02:10:01.000 He might have something else in the works.

02:10:02.000 Blowout booty.

02:10:03.000 Yeah, like other dick.

02:10:05.000 Pfft.

02:10:06.000 How does he, like, pass up on her?

02:10:08.000 Just let her ride it while you're playing the game.

02:10:11.000 Dude, maybe she's terrible in bed, though, and he's like, fuck this noise.

02:10:13.000 That's not even physically possible.

02:10:15.000 You know what?

02:10:16.000 You're right.

02:10:16.000 When you're right, you're right.

02:10:17.000 That's like saying there's a bad Porsche to drive.

02:10:20.000 It's just, no.

02:10:21.000 They're all great.

02:10:21.000 You can fix it up.

02:10:22.000 There we go.

02:10:23.000 Whoa!

02:10:23.000 Jesus Christ, that's the two of them together?

02:10:25.000 Yeah.

02:10:26.000 And he broke up with her.

02:10:27.000 Dude!

02:10:28.000 I'm confused.

02:10:28.000 Is he into cock?

02:10:31.000 There must be something wrong with his brain.

02:10:33.000 Look at him.

02:10:34.000 He's jacked, though.

02:10:35.000 Dude, he flicks out.

02:10:36.000 Me, too.

02:10:37.000 He's probably nasty on the sticks.

02:10:39.000 Look at her, though.

02:10:39.000 Good googly moogly.

02:10:40.000 Dude, I would give it all up.

02:10:43.000 Look at that.

02:10:43.000 Good lord.

02:10:44.000 Good lord.

02:10:46.000 Good lord, the body on that lady.

02:10:49.000 Damn, he dumped her.

02:10:50.000 He's like, move on, bitch.

02:10:52.000 Listen, man, those guys are coming up.

02:10:54.000 Breaking news, I'm out.

02:10:55.000 Pro gamers coming up in this world.

02:10:57.000 Dude, apparently.

02:10:58.000 It's a different life.

02:10:59.000 Drop some breaking news on the ass.

02:11:00.000 Yeah, I just got tired of that one.

02:11:02.000 There's someone out there tired of fucking Beyonce, you know what I'm saying?

02:11:05.000 That's what I heard.

02:11:06.000 His name's Jay-Z. That's what I heard.

02:11:07.000 Yeah, but there's, you know, people get sick of it.

02:11:08.000 People get sick of it.

02:11:09.000 If you like it, then you should have put a ring on it.

02:11:11.000 Uh-oh!

02:11:13.000 Uh-oh!

02:11:14.000 Uh-oh!

02:11:15.000 Uh-oh!

02:11:16.000 Uh-oh!

02:11:17.000 Uh-oh!

02:11:17.000 Uh-oh When is the fucking next fight, Companion?

02:11:22.000 Let's figure that out, Jamie.

02:11:23.000 Pull up the schedule.

02:11:25.000 I'm on the road damn near every weekend, but let's figure it out.

02:11:29.000 What do we got, Jamie?

02:11:32.000 Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.

02:11:35.000 27th, the 10th.

02:11:37.000 Wait a minute.

02:11:37.000 October 27th might be a possibility.

02:11:39.000 Frankie Edgar, Korean Zombie on November 10th.

02:11:41.000 Hold on.

02:11:42.000 October 27th, Volkan Ozdemir versus Johnson.

02:11:48.000 Right?

02:11:48.000 Click on that.

02:11:49.000 Anthony Smith.

02:11:49.000 Anthony Smith, rather.

02:11:51.000 I was going to say Anthony Johnson.

02:11:53.000 You said that's the 27th?

02:11:54.000 Yeah.

02:11:55.000 I'm in Phoenix with your boy Ari and Big J doing a show with Theo and Brian.

02:11:59.000 Son of a bitch.

02:12:00.000 That sounds better.

02:12:02.000 I know.

02:12:02.000 That sounds more fun.

02:12:03.000 You should come with us.

02:12:04.000 Wish I could.

02:12:05.000 Wait a minute.

02:12:06.000 What is the Denver one?

02:12:07.000 The Denver one is Cowboy versus Mike Perry, too.

02:12:10.000 Oh, that's a motherfucking fight.

02:12:11.000 That's November 10th?

02:12:12.000 What are you doing there?

02:12:16.000 Oh, I'm in town.

02:12:18.000 I'm in town.

02:12:19.000 That's it.

02:12:20.000 Fight Companion.

02:12:20.000 I'm putting it in right now.

02:12:21.000 Yes.

02:12:22.000 Fight Companion.

02:12:23.000 I'm putting it in my calendar, too.

02:12:25.000 That's a scary one for Cowboy.

02:12:28.000 That's a fun fight for everybody.

02:12:30.000 Look at this card.

02:12:32.000 Benavidez versus Ray Borgs on that card.

02:12:34.000 Cowboy Mike Perry.

02:12:37.000 Korean Zombie vs.

02:12:39.000 Frankie Edgar.

02:12:40.000 First team all dime pieces in Yoda vs.

02:12:42.000 Cooper.

02:12:43.000 Oh, look at this.

02:12:44.000 Raquel Pennington returns against Jermaine Durandamy.

02:12:48.000 She's like, yeah, fuck all that 145 pound title.

02:12:51.000 She said, fuck your title.

02:12:52.000 I'd rather fight on the undercard.

02:12:55.000 What is the dime piece one?

02:12:57.000 Yoder vs.

02:12:58.000 Cooper.

02:12:58.000 Now, the UFC pictures aren't flattering, but if you look at their Instagram.

02:13:02.000 Did you see Mackenzie Dern made a video for Joey Diaz saying she's going to kick his ass after a whole thing?

02:13:09.000 She was joking, though?

02:13:09.000 Smelling her ass.

02:13:10.000 Was she joking, though?

02:13:11.000 Yes!

02:13:11.000 She was laughing.

02:13:12.000 She's hilarious.

02:13:13.000 Yeah.

02:13:15.000 Darius on that card, too.

02:13:16.000 That's a good card, man.

02:13:18.000 Fight Companion, Denver.

02:13:19.000 Fight Companion, Denver.

02:13:21.000 It's in.

02:13:21.000 We're locked up.

02:13:23.000 All right.

02:13:23.000 That's it.

02:13:24.000 All right.

02:13:25.000 TFATK.com.

02:13:27.000 I'm at Salt Lake City.

02:13:29.000 That is October 10th through the 12th.

02:13:31.000 And after that, I'm in San Francisco.

02:13:32.000 Cobbs.

02:13:33.000 After that, Sacramento.

02:13:35.000 Boom.

02:13:36.000 TFATK.com.

02:13:37.000 TFATK.com.

02:13:38.000 Thanks, brother.

02:13:39.000 Bye, everybody.

02:13:40.000 Oh, we'll be right back with Rhonda Patrick.

02:13:52.000 We're good to go.

The Joe Rogan Experience - October 02, 2018

JRE MMA Show #43 with Brendan Schaub

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