Cheating at chess? Is it a real thing? Or are there vibrating anal beads in your butt that can be controlled by an AI? Or is there some other way to cheat? Today on Sunday Uncensored, we talk about it all.
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00:00:04.000Every week we produce four uncensored episodes of the TimCast IRL podcast exclusively at TimCast.com, and we're going to bring you the most important for our weekend show.
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00:00:34.000I've been playing chess since I was a real little kid, and this is probably not like the most political or controversial, but I really just, I've not talked about any of this, only passively, and I really want to talk about it.
00:00:44.000So we have this story from Daily Mail.
00:00:46.000Exclusive, his game speaks for itself.
00:00:48.000Father of anal beads chess prodigy Hans Niemann defends his son as report reveals he was caught cheating online as recently as two years ago.
00:00:56.000All right, for those that don't know the story, there's this dude, his name is Hans Niemann.
00:01:01.000He got really, really good at chess, really fast, and it's so crazy they think he's cheating.
00:01:09.000So someone makes up an insane story that he's got vibrating, remote-controlled anal beads in his butt that vibrate Morse code to explain to him the moves to make.
00:01:21.000Now, moves in chess is actually really simple.
00:01:23.000It's like, you would say something like, how does chess move?
00:01:49.000And then he doesn't know what to do, but then he feels... And it's like, okay, A, B, C, 1, 2, boom, and then he moves it right away.
00:01:59.000And so what they were saying is that his moves were too quick, he didn't consider them fast enough, and that his moves were atypical, so he must have vibrating anal beads!
00:02:07.000So is there like an AI that's deciding these moves?
00:02:35.000The dude may be cheating, I don't know, there's no evidence.
00:02:37.000And it's become this big controversy that keeps popping up because they've now, like, banned him, they've said he's cheated in the past or whatever, but they've not been able to explain how, sitting down at a table, he's cheating at chess.
00:02:51.000Also, the beads must have been firing, assuming they were in his ass, very quickly.
00:02:56.000If he plays the response very quickly, then it's like...
00:03:30.000And then pressing the anal bead button over and over again to signal.
00:03:34.000I mean, there is precedent for that in gambling.
00:03:36.000It's usually not anal beads, but you have something on your leg, under your pants.
00:03:41.000You have a, you have your friend watching.
00:03:43.000He's kind of through Morse code transmitting something to you.
00:03:46.000And then you kind of know where the dealer is and what, and you're, and you beat the, there's a scene in casino where they catch somebody doing that.
00:03:53.000Like how could you, in gambling, how can someone signal you to cheat?
00:03:57.000I guess if like you're counting cards.
00:07:47.000Because he can be sitting down at any event, anywhere, and there's nothing they can do about it unless they make him play in a Faraday cage.
00:07:53.000It's like an argument against transhumanism, you know?
00:07:58.000I mean, or any other game, like Magic the Gathering for that instance.
00:08:01.000Yeah, seriously, seriously, good point.
00:08:02.000You know, I think the story may be true because Ian and I would play Magic the Gathering quite a bit, and it just doesn't make sense that Ian would ever be able to beat me, so I'm assuming he has anal beads.
00:11:09.000All players have to have a full Taco Bell meal.
00:11:14.000Yes, he has Taco Bell before the meal.
00:11:18.000And at the end I'm like outside running, it's still buzzing.
00:11:21.000Now that we've sufficiently wasted your time for 10 minutes, you guys see that I think it might have been CNBC where the guy said that he went to Taco Bell and he knows inflation is high because Taco Bell lunch cost him $28.
00:13:01.000Yeah, it was food that wouldn't give you diarrhea.
00:13:03.000It's food that you, you know... You can take it in the ass and then you don't shit it all over the dick.
00:13:08.000The point of the food was that you wouldn't get loose stools.
00:13:11.000It would give you firm and stiff stools.
00:13:13.000We don't have to get into the nitty-gritty here.
00:13:14.000So you could get fucked in the ass by your boyfriend.
00:13:17.000And that was, I tweeted about this, I was like, I never thought, here's the food you can eat so you don't shit on a dick when you're getting fucked in the ass would be a marketing campaign for a delivery service, but here we are.
00:13:28.000Do you think they had that exact phrase in the board meeting when they were deciding this?
00:13:32.000There was a whiteboard where this was all being mapped out.
00:13:55.000Yeah, look up YouTube, Eat With Pride introducing the bottom-friendly menu, and this is officially from the Postmates YouTube channel, and 52 seconds in, you literally see them looking at what looks like shit.
00:14:08.000Well, if you're a top, it seems like you can eat whatever you want.
00:14:13.000But if you're a bottom, you're expected to starve?
00:14:38.000Are you just fully diving into those beans?
00:14:43.000The problem with these foods is they don't dissolve in water, which could cause a traffic jam in your digestive system, making a mess of your evening.
00:14:50.000Speaking of messy, it's a good idea to avoid dairy.
00:17:24.000You guys aren't familiar with Mayonnaise Gate?
00:17:27.000So this restaurant did an interview and they said inflation's really bad.
00:17:32.000We're spending $200 a week more on mayonnaise.
00:17:35.000And then the restaurant told the local news.
00:17:40.000The RNC of North Carolina, the GOP of North Carolina picked up the story and then said due to Bidenflation this restaurant has spent $200 a week for mayonnaise.
00:17:50.000Liberals picked it up and said inflation's at 5%.
00:17:53.000That would mean they're spending 2,000 whatever dollars on mayonnaise or 4,000 something per week on mayonnaise.
00:18:59.000And I was like, are you typically full?
00:19:00.000And he was like, yeah, we're actually, you know, we're fairly full.
00:19:03.000And then I said, so you have 250 people in.
00:19:05.000On average, during your peak hours, so maybe between four hours throughout the day, you've got 250 people and they're going to eat for about a half an hour each on average.
00:19:15.000So we're talking about almost 2,000 people per day coming in.
00:19:32.000Maybe, because I see the soft tacos are $1.69 on the website, but this is saying that six of those is $20.25.
00:19:39.000That's a misrepresentation of the cost.
00:19:43.000Of course, it says there's nacho cheese with it.
00:19:45.000I don't think that's going to be like $8 or $10.
00:19:48.000So it could have been a more expensive one, New York City one, yeah.
00:19:50.000He said the order on Twitter was a Burrito Supreme, Nachos Bel Grande, one Large Mountain Dew, Nacho Cheese Doritos Loco Supreme, and Nacho Cheese Cheesy Gordita Crunch.
00:19:58.000I mean, that's a fucking hefty lunch, guys.
00:20:59.000It was the meat, salsa, chicken, yeah.
00:21:04.000So what, I wonder if the seed oils thing, because I probably cut that out.
00:21:08.000Cuz what I've been eating like for breakfast is just bacon and eggs and then for dinner.
00:21:13.000I've been having Like we've been doing like Grilled chicken with like asparagus.
00:21:19.000Yeah, so that's it's hard to know exactly what cut out Changes your diet makes you healthier.
00:21:25.000I lost a lot of weight since last year But it was like really within the one month period all the weight just came off when I cut out Grains and fried food and stuff like that, and I would still eat every so often like chicken like chicken wings and stuff like that So I'm I'm wondering what it really is and it maybe it's the seed oils They're inflammatory.
00:21:47.000It's not something your body could naturally, you know, take and process.
00:21:51.000So obviously, it creates a lot of problems for a lot of people, and there's a lot of scientific studies highlighting how it's the key vector for not just inflammation, but obesity, lots of fat, lots of mental health problems.
00:25:00.000Yeah, but you could buy- Like Zuckerberg.
00:25:02.000You could buy natural alternatives that don't have any of the bullshit.
00:25:05.000I know, I know, but I was like, hey, let's buy all this, and people can have snacks, and then we'll actually see how people feel, and if it ends up being bad, then we'll just never do it again.
00:25:15.000But we got cookies, crackers, it's like, there's a lot of candy, Then there's a lot of, like, peanut butter crackers, and there's, like, cheese and chive crackers, and, like, Lindor truffles.
00:25:27.000And, like, it's all pretty good quality stuff.
00:25:29.000And then we got some Oreos and some Chips Ahoy.
00:25:31.000And if we see a negative impact from it, like, it really does go bad for people, then we'll never do it again.
00:25:36.000I'm trying to get people to work out here.
00:25:38.000I'm trying to get people to eat right here.
00:25:40.000You're freaking getting Oreos and just shoving them down everyone's throat.
00:26:09.000How long do people have to survive for this to be a success or failure?
00:26:13.000I think what we'll do is, like, people will eat the stuff and we'll see how people are, how often they're feeling sick or whatever, and then at the end of the month we'll make a determination if we should never buy the stuff again.
00:28:14.000Well, you know, there's certain rules, but some seeds have more of a defense chemical than others.
00:28:20.000Those defense chemicals irritate and bother the gut from everything that I'm starting to understand, especially when it comes to carnivore MD, which we should absolutely have on the fucking show.
00:29:00.000And especially because it has a lot of glyphosate and a lot of, you know, defensive chemicals.
00:29:04.000You know, it'd be funny if this Hans guy, he's like in the middle of a chess game when all of a sudden he starts like making a look on his face.
00:29:11.000And then all of a sudden he's like, Because the the the controller goes on the fritz and it starts spinning faster and faster and the vibrator because you know vibrators work it's like a little a weight so it spins and then it starts overheating like
00:30:49.000And I was just thinking about how funny it is that we're allocating company resources to something so fucking stupid.
00:30:55.000And I just thought about the difference between our generation and the previous where everything was very rigid and stodgy and had to be done right, and now we're kind of just chilling and doing weird-ass shit, and I'm glad that's the case.
00:31:06.000Yeah, that's one of the great things about, I don't know if it's the internet, but this equalizing force is like, you know, entertain funny selves.
00:31:13.000Funny, like, and that's- Just have fun.
00:31:15.000Meta-funny too, like making fun of yourself is fun.