The Daily Wire's What Is a Woman? explores modern feminism, where it's at, and why people are so angry about it. Today's guest is Dr. Chloe Carmichael, author of Nervous Energy: Harness the Power of Your Anxiety, and The Ten Commandments of Dating.
00:01:55.000Because we've got this article talking about how it's time to have Tamagotchi children.
00:02:00.000They're talking about young people who shouldn't have kids, probably because of climate change, should have robo-AI children instead, which is just very, very creepy.
00:02:19.000Sure, so I'm Dr. Chloe Carmichael, clinical psychologist and author of Nervous Energy, Harness the Power of Your Anxiety, and Dr. Chloe's Ten Commandments of Dating.
00:02:28.000I was a yoga teacher before I was a psychologist and I'm also a wife and a mom.
00:02:33.000Alright, well we have a clinical psychologist to talk to us about what it means to be a woman and all those other things, so thank you for joining.
00:03:49.000Guys, Daily Wire, I can't believe you paid me to promote this, because I was already a fan of it and I was already shouting it out.
00:03:54.000So when they were told, like, oh, The Daily Wire would like it if you shouted out whatisawoman.com, I was like, I'm already doing that, but I'll take the money!
00:04:01.000No, it really is really well produced.
00:04:06.000And it's actually kind of scary in a lot of ways.
00:04:07.000Matt Walsh goes on a journey to see if the question can be answered, what is a woman?
00:04:13.000Talking with a bunch of experts, and unfortunately, they can't seem to give... I don't want to spoil the movie, but you need to see how they respond to the question.
00:05:54.000But a Democrat woman could be something totally different.
00:05:56.000Well, because now, I mean, look, look.
00:05:58.000Obviously we have wonderful progress in this era where a word can mean whatever you want it to mean instead of what it actually means.
00:06:03.000And so maybe it's the case, unfortunately, that there's a negative side effect here where men are just saying that they're women, disguising themselves as women, and then telling these pollsters feminism is bad to make us think women oppose it.
00:06:14.000What if these are Democrat, what if these are Republican men who don't realize because they identify as Democrats that they're not really Democrats?
00:07:24.000Well, it used to be that women used to have a harder time with that kind of thing, you know, being able to get mortgages and bank accounts and things.
00:07:31.000So, you know, when like the Equal Rights Act and everything was able to help us with that.
00:07:37.000Well, so but do you know why that was?
00:07:38.000Was it was it like men at banks were like, babe, you think I'm giving you a loan?
00:07:44.000I think that was the 20s, though, by the way, in the 70s, they were hippies, right?
00:07:48.000Yeah, I think that it was, you know, just previously not illegal to discriminate against somebody because of their sex.
00:07:54.000And so, you know, maybe for whatever reason, banks just said, you know, well, maybe as a woman, you're gonna have a baby and not pay your loan back or whatever it was, for whatever reason, they just didn't tend to extend credit to women.
00:08:05.000I think, you know what it probably was?
00:08:07.000The woman would go in to get a credit card and they would say, and is your husband okay with this?
00:08:12.000And when they were like, my husband doesn't matter, they'd say, well, he pays the bills, doesn't he?
00:08:16.000So, you know, before women were as prominent in the workplace or in higher positions, they probably just said, you have lower credit just inherently by not doing these jobs.
00:08:56.000So now, feminism, you know, probably the reason young men don't like it is that modern feminism is what?
00:09:01.000A catch-all term for basically all sorts of weird bigotry, discrimination, rage, even violence?
00:09:09.000I think even from the get-go though, when there were arguments to be made that women were being treated unfairly in certain respects, the feminist movement was still mostly pushing for the, so to speak, privileges men had rather than the responsibilities even at that time.
00:09:20.000So for example, women couldn't vote, they also couldn't be drafted.
00:09:24.000Part of why many women didn't want the right to vote at that time is because they thought it was going to come along with a duty to be drafted, which feminists at that time did not argue for while they were arguing for the vote.
00:09:34.000So you're saying women should be drafted?
00:09:36.000My point is that I think part of the issue is even from the beginning when we're discussing legitimate issues, feminists were more or less.
00:09:42.000They were saying men and women are equal and should be treated equally in every respect, but then they would conveniently ignore the responsibilities men had, which women didn't, and not pursue equality there.
00:09:51.000Yeah, with rights come responsibilities.
00:10:03.000You're the clinical psychologist here.
00:10:06.000I'm curious what your thoughts are on modern feminism.
00:10:08.000Yeah, I mean, that's such a loaded issue, right?
00:10:12.000I mean, I think, Tim, that probably I kind of go with you in the sense that I'm obviously for equal rights for everybody.
00:10:19.000But I think a lot of women actually kind of want the right to be more traditional, the right to be able to Be respected as a woman to be able to recognize that homemaking and housewifery and raising babies that those things actually really matter and you know girls getting kind of pushed into this stuff under the guise of girl power is sometimes not quite so empowering.
00:10:42.000Also as a boy mom myself meaning I'm a mom to a son I think also some of this you know girl power stuff has actually gone a little bit too far to the point where It's hurting boys, which is actually also hurting girls to the point where girls don't want to date weak men.
00:10:58.000But that's unfortunately what some of this over-the-top girl power stuff seems to be doing.
00:11:04.000What's an example of that that you've seen?
00:11:06.000Well, I mean, so if we are praising and helping girls to the point where, for example, girls are outpacing boys when it comes to college graduation or graduate school, girls are actually also paid more than boys now, on average, upon graduation from college.
00:11:24.000So, I mean, these are just a few examples, but obviously also boys' suicide rate is much higher and other types of problems.
00:11:31.000And so when we're, you know, just still for whatever reason still focusing on, you know, more federal dollars to help girls in school when in fact it's boys who have a literacy crisis.
00:11:42.000So anyway, all of the focus on girls, I think is kind of a little bit superfluous at this point.
00:11:48.000Well, this sounds like really good news for young chads, right?
00:11:51.000If the average man is making less money than the women, they're basically out of the dating pool.
00:11:56.000And then the very small proportion of chad young millennial, you know, Gen Z men who are making all the money get all the women.
00:12:02.000You and you see the problem will you see this all the time whenever there's some Twitter thread that goes viral about
00:12:07.000someone who's Using tinder and she finds a guy that she likes and she swipes
00:12:10.000on him and then finds out he's been talking to 20 other Girls, it's like well, that's because you swiped on like 99
00:12:14.000guys swiped on that one guy And it was the same thing for all the other girls. So he
00:12:17.000just had a bunch of options That's what ends up happening when the monogamous social
00:12:20.000standards break down. But also I agree with what you're saying
00:12:24.000I think it's very interesting because you'll have these nebulous campaigns about how girls are called bossy more often, which isn't really something we can test for, have statistics on, and yet we ignore the fact that boys are put on... I've never heard that.
00:12:35.000That's an argument, yeah, but there was a whole campaign, ban bossy, right?
00:12:38.000And we were told that we should all kind of like hang our heads in shame because when girls are assertive, they're told they're bossy.
00:12:43.000And no one at the same time will talk about the fact that Boys are more likely to be prescribed ADHD medicine in school.
00:12:49.000They are literally chemically altered because our public educational system is failing them and no one seems to consider it an issue.
00:12:55.000Well, we're also chemically altering young girls with birth control en masse.
00:13:00.000Well, I think that's a problem as well.
00:13:01.000Hormonal birth control causes problems that no one's willing to acknowledge.
00:13:04.000I've never experienced a work environment where people have complained about a female who is bossy.
00:13:10.000Like, I've never... I've heard the argument, but I've never been in an environment where I'm, like, at lunch and someone's like, man, that Janet's so bossy.
00:13:42.000I was talking to this guy who produces documentaries, and we were talking about this issue,
00:13:46.000and he was like, he told me, he was like, my experience was that whenever we would have pitch meetings,
00:13:51.000the women in the meeting room would be giving us stupid ideas.
00:13:54.000And then everyone would be getting really frustrated and annoyed with these really dumb ideas.
00:13:58.000And then she would complain that no one takes her opinion seriously because she's a woman.
00:14:02.000And we try to explain to her, no, it's because your ideas are dumb, but she took it to the female place instead of the bad at her job place.
00:14:13.000And then also because women can sometimes be more sensitive to criticism, right?
00:14:19.000And if you do criticize that woman's ideas in the boardroom, then, you know, you can get this big reaction of like, you know, well, you know, you're undermining me because I'm a woman or you're not taking me seriously because I'm a woman.
00:14:29.000You know, what they're doing, unfortunately, then is depriving themselves of the chance to have real honest feedback and collaboration and even to, you know, engage and spar and develop and improve because they're bringing it all, you know, to being a woman.
00:15:08.000Maybe many of these activists want to create this by putting people who are unskilled in positions they're not qualified for, so that they feel inadequate constantly, and then the person can come in and say, oh, that feeling?
00:15:20.000Well, we have to understand this is a very, very serious problem because whenever we talk about the idea of like marginalized communities, whether you're talking about, you know, the alphabet people or you're talking about people who are, you know, minorities because of their ethnic group in this country.
00:15:35.000The most serious problem, I think, is the breakdown of the relationship between men and women, because that is the most fundamentally important social relationship that exists.
00:15:43.000Men are supposed to open pickle jars, and women have babies!
00:15:47.000But no, I mean, people will talk about, like, sexism, homophobia, etc., and I think with sexism, unfortunately, whenever there are issues that are addressed with the relationship between the sexes, it's always in one direction.
00:15:59.000The conversation can only ever be Women are being treated unfairly and men are bad.
00:16:03.000And what's interesting about that is there's actually kind of a kernel of traditionalism and natural law in that because people recognize that it is the role of men to protect women and to care for women and to provide for them.
00:16:14.000And so it's sort of bizarre because we have this concoction where we're told that men and women are exactly equal, but also men still have to fulfill this traditional role of being the one who cares for her and protects her.
00:16:44.000It's so much more normalized and comfortable for people, whether it's at school or work or personal lives or whatever, to just trash talk men.
00:16:52.000I just want to make a point about toxic masculinity.
00:16:56.000This is a term which they always fiend confusion over whenever anyone points out that it's offensive.
00:17:01.000It is clearly an intentionally provocative phrase.
00:17:04.000If you wanted to get authentically masculine men on board with your project, you would not label their bad behavior as a form of masculinity.
00:17:13.000You would say something like, well, actually, these men are behaving in an effeminate way when they treat women poorly because they're not being men who are protectors.
00:17:19.000Instead, they label it masculinity and go, well, why would you be against us calling it toxic masculinity?
00:17:25.000It's like because you're attacking men in general and then claiming you're only attacking a small subsection.
00:17:33.000Well, I mean, so I don't mean to jump ahead of ourselves, but I mean, I did bring up Amber Heard, right?
00:17:38.000I mean, I, you know, so she's toxic when, when, when we, when we think about toxic masculinity, they say that it's when you take things that are traditionally masculine virtues, like maybe toughness or competitiveness and, you take them to a twisted extreme.
00:17:54.000And so with women, if you think about it in Spanish, they have something called marionismo,
00:18:03.000So machismo is obviously, we all know what machismo is.
00:18:06.000Marionismo would be almost like the kind of a counterpart to that, which is where there's
00:18:11.000this extreme reliance on kind of a victim role.
00:18:17.000With the Amber Heard thing as well, it was very interesting because from a criminal psychology
00:18:22.000standpoint, attractive women will always fare better in a courtroom than an unattractive
00:18:27.000woman unless it is shown that she used her attractiveness to in some way carry off the
00:18:34.000crime and then her attractiveness will statistically turn against her.
00:18:40.000So about toxic femininity then, that would be the case of a woman who uses her femininity,
00:18:46.000her beguiling feminine self in a way that twists and manipulates and deceives people.
00:18:54.000And I think part of why they will never acknowledge that is because to do so is to understand and acknowledge that there are certain benefits to being a woman.
00:19:03.000I think a lot of what we're seeing in modern Western culture, the failures, are due to masculinity being gutted and purged, which is creating this imbalance where a massive outgrowth of femininity Becomes toxic and there's no strong men to rebalance.
00:19:21.000So like you mentioned, you all of a sudden have the oppression Olympics.
00:19:33.000I mean, I've sat with women in my office as a clinical psychologist that have expressed profound shame.
00:19:41.000Women, you know, that are in their mid-late twenties that say, you know, back in college I cheated on my boyfriend and I felt really bad about it and I you know, kind of said it was date rape and, you know, I
00:19:52.000and they they they realize, you know, years later that that they basically ruined somebody's
00:20:54.000That was insane because I remember the woman said, basically, like, I went to his house, I, you know, I think she said she went down on him, then she gave him a handoff, you know what I mean?
00:21:03.000Like, and there was no talk of him, like, forcing her to stay.
00:21:07.000I mean, again, I think she, like, of her own free will.
00:21:10.000She mentioned how he was, like, really nice and saying things like, you know, we don't have to or something like that.
00:21:27.000It suggests that we're not actually capable of going out and having some drinks and making our own choices and being able to stand by them.
00:21:36.000I would argue part of what all of this comes from is our society's insistence upon suppressing the innate understanding that sex is a special thing.
00:21:46.000So people think they can just go out and do it meaninglessly, and then they regret it.
00:21:50.000But because the culture constantly signals to them that there's nothing wrong with doing that, they wonder, why do I feel bad about this experience?
00:21:58.000And I think one conclusion they could draw from it is there must have been some coercive element here.
00:22:02.000I must not have chosen this because I've regretted this.
00:22:05.000And I've actually seen people say, oh yeah, no, if you regretted it, then it was coerced, which is an insane thing to say.
00:22:12.000I will say the interesting thing about it is in modern culture, we associate hookups with regret.
00:22:19.000That in TV shows and movies, it's like they wake up the next day like, oh man.
00:22:26.000After someone hooks up in college and they're walking out of the dorm or the frat or sorority house, it's like a shameful thing.
00:22:33.000And I'm like, that's really weird for a society that's trying to tell people it's shameless, it's prideful.
00:22:39.000But then in every facet, people feel something negative about the experience.
00:22:44.000It's so interesting to me that they still feel shame.
00:22:47.000I still firmly believe that shame holds a very important role in society and people just choose to ignore it.
00:22:53.000And one of the things I've constantly said is that every sex scene in every movie is completely unnecessary because our culture does not believe that sex means anything.
00:23:50.000Well, it's clear to me that they just want it to be borderline pornographic, just to draw the eyes and the clicks or whatever, because as far as I can tell, in this culture, sex means nothing, which is incredibly sad to me.
00:24:02.000I think there's a deeper question in, you know, why do humans have these hookups and then regret it in the morning?
00:24:08.000Why is that such a common thing that's I still feel shame.
00:24:13.000If you hook up with like a girl that's your friend that you're not attracted to when you're both drunk and then the next morning you're like, oh god, what have I done?
00:24:19.000I've changed the dynamic of my relationship.
00:24:21.000That's the only shame I've ever felt walking out of a girl's house.
00:24:25.000But every other time it's like, hell yeah.
00:24:27.000Well, so when we drink, it almost kind of, for lack of a better word, sort of disables our executive lobe, which is the part of ourselves that thinks about future consequences and things like that.
00:24:38.000And also, of course, when it's a hookup situation, one person is usually kind of pouring on the charm, right?
00:25:05.000And Lydia, to your point about shame as well, I want to back you up on that.
00:25:09.000There's a psychological healthy function of shame, which is to let us know when we have broken our own boundaries and broken our own standards, there's actually a healthy sense of when we've come up short that serves to guide us that we need to make a change.
00:25:24.000There was a viral story at a college, a poster was put up that said, if you are both drunk, like if you're a man and you and the woman are drunk and you both hook up, you raped her.
00:25:35.000Right, which is so insulting to women.
00:25:58.000A man and a woman both got drunk and hooked up at a college, and the man immediately went to the school and reported her for raping him, and she got in trouble.
00:26:05.000And they were all freaking out, and they were like, that's the way the game works.
00:26:09.000He was worried that she was gonna go and report him, so he reported her first, and then he wins, because he reported her first.
00:26:14.000But yeah, I did want to say, I do think that the fact that a woman can't have a few drinks and maintain her bodily autonomy When I started hearing about kids who are able to change their gender at the drop of a hat, I was like, this is so insulting that I can't go out and have a beer and then sleep.
00:27:18.000It's kind of like what Seamus was saying as well about how this whole situation is eroding the male-female dynamic, right, where there's almost like this, you know, race to see who's going to file on the other person first, you know, defensively.
00:27:30.000And this is for people who just, you know, made love.
00:27:33.000It says, so there's, what is it, Jane Roe and John Doe, because their names are blocked out.
00:27:38.000So, the woman contends it was ridiculous to find her guilty of non-consensual sex because of the man's drunkness, but not find him guilty, too, because she was also drunk.
00:27:57.000It's like, you go into the bedroom, you hook up, and then as soon as you're done, you're both looking at each other, looking at the door, and then you're both running, full speed, trying to accuse each other of being the aggressor.
00:28:46.000We would have some very strong social stigmas around who you went snowboarding with, probably, and how often you snowboarded, and whether you were snowboarding outside of marriage.
00:29:23.000I'm gonna go to bed and then you like the guy starts like speed walking towards the the title nine office or whatever and then he gets Halfway, he like he's like halfway there and then all of a sudden down the end of the hallway He sees the woman and they just both bolt for the door like running towards it.
00:29:40.000No, no, you go delineate between sex has the the pregnancy aspect which is what but also the orgasm which is like I mean, that's you get better at it, the more you do it, from my experience, and the more you study it.
00:29:52.000So like if someone's like never will have sex only until they're about ready to have a baby, then they're missing out on the opportunity to, you know, give their partner an orgasm or 50 orgasms.
00:30:36.000And I think that's really when this whole thing of, like, Title IX-ing somebody and, like, you know, young men, if they're accused, that they have to be removed immediately, like, while this kangaroo court situation happens.
00:30:46.000So if you were able to graduate from college before 2014, it might have been a different world back then.
00:30:51.000Oh yeah, it was 2001 is when I graduated.
00:30:53.000Well, you know, I've sort of said this before, you know, I'm a traditionalist.
00:30:58.000But what the left often does is, in the long run, after they've broken down the social boundaries, they try to imitate traditionalism, but in a much more convoluted way.
00:31:07.000And so what we see is, as it would be the case in the past, people do get in trouble for having sexually immoral encounters, but because we don't know how to label a consensual sexual encounter as immoral, People jumped to it was assault.
00:31:20.000Now, obviously, yes, there are people who were genuinely assaulted and there should be resources for them.
00:31:24.000But it just happens to be the case that they have this entire infrastructure set up with these kangaroo courts, which, as we've described, will punish people for a crime that they did not commit.
00:31:34.000It will charge them not as someone who's fornicated, but as someone who has raped.
00:31:39.000It's interesting because also from a psychology perspective, we think about internal locus of control versus external locus of control.
00:31:46.000So internal is where I believe that I'm the one in the driver's seat in my life.
00:31:50.000I'm the one choosing if I have those drinks and sleep with that guy or whatever else.
00:31:54.000And the external locus of control is, you know, oh, it was the situation.
00:32:49.000I think that there's been this big movement to de-shame women if they want to have sex and whatever they want to do, girl power again, all of that kind of stuff.
00:32:59.000And so therefore, if a woman does have regrettable sex, maybe within that framework, it wouldn't really be permissible for her to say, I feel shame.
00:33:09.000I don't think I want to do that again because then she'd have to look at herself and say that she wants to do something differently, which would go against the grain of this other narrative of saying women are just like men.
00:33:19.000You can go have sex all the time with a bunch of people and you'll be fine.
00:33:24.000And so then because she can't blame her own choices, then the only alternative is to start blaming other people.
00:33:33.000And there are no strong men to stand up and say, enough.
00:33:38.000I mean, there are, but they're all right-wing now.
00:33:41.000I mean, even if they're not right-wing, they're right-wing.
00:33:59.000Yeah, you need a dude that'll stand up and say enough, but also that will cry in feeling what she is feeling, like Jordan Peterson.
00:34:07.000So I think he's kind of the embodiment of the strong man right now, Peterson seems to be, although he's not a meathead, and I don't know what he benches.
00:34:13.000I think when we had Tyler Fisher on the other night, And he said that he was raised by two dads.
00:34:19.000He said that he was very much woke and everything until he started listening to Jordan Peterson.
00:34:25.000And Jordan Peterson helped him get his life in order.
00:34:28.000And I'm like, that's exactly why they fear Jordan Peterson so much.
00:34:32.000Teaching teaching young men personal responsibility teaching young men to be masculine That's very dangerous for people who don't want that balance brought back to the force Absolutely, and so I've said this before on the show.
00:34:43.000I honestly mostly blame men for feminism I think the reason women are acting like men is because men are acting like children and People will usurp the roles that are not being fulfilled by the people who are responsible for them in some sense well And so I think we're in a position where society has
00:34:58.000basically, as you've mentioned, put a lot of emphasis on areas where we think women might
00:35:32.000Think about what porn has done to men's brains.
00:35:34.000It has convinced them that women are objects for their own sexual pleasure and not human beings who they should love and commune with and genuinely care for and protect.
00:35:44.000Well, to tie together what you were saying about women being told they shouldn't feel ashamed for sleeping with a bunch of men, it makes me angry to a certain degree that women are told that they need to behave like men.
00:37:01.000I don't have the evidence pulled up, but that is the case.
00:37:04.000And for men, the more like orgasms and the more forceful orgasms that they have.
00:37:10.000And the more testosterone they get, their testosterone rises and rises, which makes them, you know, just more and more independent and all these other things.
00:38:35.000You know, I feel like from the start he's whining and dining a little more.
00:38:38.000So, it feels to me that dating apps have expanded the dating pool so massively that young men no longer have a peer group in which they can find a mate.
00:38:47.000And higher status men now get access to basically every, every available woman.
00:38:54.000So what we started saying is, this was reported by the Washington Post, that I think a third of men under 29 were virgins.
00:39:01.000And, you know, unmarried as well, not dating.
00:39:10.000I'm wondering what your thought is on dating apps and if you would agree.
00:39:14.000Yeah, I totally agree with what you said about the numbers game and the fact that now that 20-year-old woman as well, she's going to be this hot item if she's open to going out with 30-year-old guys.
00:40:05.000And then, as you said, if the dating app dynamics are making it even harder for them.
00:40:10.000Yeah, and I think that's absolutely correct.
00:40:12.000And it's not just that their need is satisfied in some sense.
00:40:15.000By virtue of what it is, you only have to think about yourself and your own pleasure and not another human being who you're involved with.
00:40:23.000And on top of that, it's very sad when you see how the dynamic has played out because men will point out the fact that women have all these options on these dating apps.
00:40:32.000The reality is most women want to find one man to be monogamous with and they're not able to do that because guess what?
00:40:40.000The guy they're interested in because he's at the top of the dominance hierarchy, so to speak, he's got a bunch of other women who are into him and he's messing around with all of them and he's not gonna commit to any one of them.
00:40:50.000So it's this horrific sexual hellscape where no one gets what's going to make them happy.
00:40:58.000Or it's a revert to a primitive state where the alpha Just gets all the women?
00:41:04.000Yeah, we need a gating app called Genghis Khan, where the feud just goes on there.
00:41:09.000It's just one guy, the guy who made the app and only women can sign up.
00:41:14.000I'm pretty sure what chimps do is like, the chimps all beat the crap out of each other, and the chimp who wins bangs all the girls, all the women.
00:41:21.000You know, it's also interesting too with Prides of Lions, when the males from a warring pride come and defeat the males of another pride, the females of the defeated pride will immediately go sleep with the victorious males.
00:41:41.000You know, but I mean, also Seamus, to your point about about them getting their needs satisfied, you kind of touched on something there that I think is important too, which is that young men who are sexually inexperienced, you know, virgins, they might think that they're getting their needs satisfied in the sense that like that they're seeing porn and they're having an orgasm.
00:42:00.000Yeah, but like they don't know the pleasure of like being with a woman and You know laughing together and and the the touch and the intimacy and the fun of it because they haven't experienced it So they might think that they're getting satisfied, but they don't realize that they're not really getting it off Yeah, I think a lot of them know and are very bitter about
00:43:39.000No, no, so the point I'm making is that if the woman is attracted to the man, or if the man smells... Like, I'm not saying the smell makes the attraction or the attraction makes the smell, but there is a correlation between a man smelling good and a woman being attracted to him.
00:44:35.000Because it negatively impacts their, like, sensory reception to the man.
00:44:40.000And then when they stop taking the birth control, they say, stop taking it, wait a few weeks, and if your man smells bad, you can't get married.
00:44:47.000I've noticed also about sexual intercourse is that it builds confidence.
00:44:50.000And I like the word confidence because it has the word confide.
00:45:14.000It's a completely other... it's basically having a friend, like a really good friend.
00:45:17.000Oh my gosh, yeah, I could see where porn would almost be like the opposite, right?
00:45:20.000Because like, you know, you're sitting there and you're like either like paying some website or, you know, you're like basically doing something where you're validating to yourself almost the idea that you can't get somebody or whatever, you know?
00:45:56.000Because if you are in the context where you are married to a woman who you're having sex with, you love this person.
00:46:01.000You don't want to do anything to her that would be considered degrading.
00:46:04.000So if there is some intrusive thought or weird fantasy, you're not going to indulge it with pornography.
00:46:09.000First of all, there's no one there to check you.
00:46:11.000So there's no one there to be like, that's a weird thing to want.
00:46:14.000You can literally search whatever you want.
00:46:16.000And then people just, people are obsessed with novelty.
00:46:18.000And so they search for more and more deranged things.
00:46:21.000And when you look at the fact that erectile dysfunction rates have increased as much as they have, it's almost certainly attributable to the wide accessibility of pornographic materials, especially to boys who are still teenagers.
00:46:34.000I think, I think, I think Jordan Peterson talked about that, right?
00:46:36.000Like young, maybe I'm wrong, but I was reading something where young men are watching this ridiculous, you know, fake reality stuff.
00:46:44.000And then when it comes to the real world thing, they're like, I don't know what this is.
00:46:48.000But I do want to, I do want to say, look, man, I think if people want to be kinky and do stuff in the bedroom and be whatever they want to be or whatever, I got no shit with that.
00:46:55.000My issue is when people start separating themselves from reality with weird stuff that's just like, like I said, like swinging from a ceiling fan while jumping out of a plane and then throwing the ceiling, just like weird.
00:47:45.000Average age now is 11 that kids are seeing porn.
00:47:47.000To Tim's point also about the, just what we call a need for an increasing stimulation, right?
00:47:53.000So the first time maybe that you sit down and look at porn online, you're even just getting some adrenaline from that because you know, you're doing something taboo.
00:48:01.000And so your body, because of the extra adrenaline, Well, actually sometimes have a more intense sexual experience, like there have been some studies even that showed that people who just walked across a scary bridge that was really old and rickety that they would rate people as more attractive than people who had just walked across a very safe bridge.
00:48:19.000So when people, you know, use porn to a certain degree, it's almost like a drug.
00:48:24.000But then once you've seen the same stuff a million times, it becomes sort of ho-hum.
00:48:28.000And so then people just need to keep doing, as Tim was saying, stuff that's even more
00:48:32.000and more bizarre to kind of keep up that sort of a hit.
00:48:35.000And then there's the other factor, which is that these sites make money by getting you
00:49:16.000If anybody wants to email me through my website, I'll send you a copy of the blog if you can't find it.
00:49:22.000But so what I suggest people do, like this is it's kind of old-fashioned, but like that's why people go to horror movies on dates because like it kind of like gets things going a little bit, you know, or Do even going to like new places, new restaurants, that
00:49:35.000kind of thing, escape rooms, anything that just gets your blood going and gets that kind of
00:49:40.000excitement going will kind of transfer onto the sex.
00:49:43.000Yeah, actually, I actually read that when women are scared, they generate a stronger
00:49:48.000bond with the person they're on a date with.
00:50:29.000But I think even beyond the studies we've done on this stuff, there's like the joke in TV shows and movies where the guy stages a mugging to impress the date.
00:50:40.000We knew that going on a date with a woman, and then if the guy defends her, he looks tough, it's attractive, and then we do science, we're like, oh yeah, that actually happened.
00:50:48.000Or the girl stages a damsel in distress moment, and you know, the man comes to her rescue.
00:50:54.000Are there dietary things that can improve adrenaline?
00:50:58.000So, the interesting thing is the relationship dynamics are changing so dramatically now that femininity is sort of being washed away.
00:51:06.000We have this story that we've talked about quite a bit, actually.
00:51:09.000I mean, we've done multiple segments on it, but I want to bring it up so that we can talk about it with you, Dr. Chloe.
00:51:13.000The New York Post writes, And so they talk about these women who are like, you know, a 30-year-old who's a 38-year-old making $50,000 a year or something, and she can't find a man.
00:51:28.000And, you know, when I first talked about this, boy, did every feminist lose their mind.
00:51:32.000They were like, Tim Pooler, how dare you?
00:51:37.000If you're a 38-year-old man and you're making $50,000 a year, why would you want to date a 38-year-old woman who's making $50,000 a year when you can date a 28-year-old woman who's making less and you can provide and actually feel appreciated?
00:53:31.00035-year-old man, he's gonna date a 22-year-old woman.
00:53:33.00045-year-old man, he's gonna date a 22-year-old woman.
00:53:36.000You see these old men, and they're like 70, and they're wealthy, and they're dating 20-year-old women.
00:53:42.000So as women get older, no matter what they could provide, let's say you're 40, and you don't make that much money, and you're hoping to find, maybe you'll find someone older because they want younger, the rich guy can still get the 20-year-old woman.
00:53:58.000And I'm not saying it should be that way, but the reality is, if a man, at no matter what age, I mean, we've seen 80-year-old men with 20-something-year-old women, like, you're robbing the cradle, and it's like, I don't care, I'm old and I'm gonna die, and she's like, and then he doesn't get his money.
00:54:14.000So the problem there is, there's a certain point for women where, no matter how old the guy is, if he has resources, he will go for the 20, 30-year-old woman.
00:54:24.000And you know, it kind of takes me back to the article that you mentioned when we started the poll showing that, you know, younger men thought feminism had done more harm than good, but that that was less true of a belief for young women to have.
00:54:38.000And I couldn't help but think about the fact that, yeah, that's young women, that they're currently saying, oh yeah, the world is just telling me that I can have it all, I can do this, I can do that, and everything else.
00:54:49.000Why wouldn't they like that message, right?
00:54:51.000But when we start talking about the older women who are then saying, yeah, okay, so I spent my 20s climbing the career ladder and not having kids, and how has this feminism really necessarily helped me so much?
00:55:01.000I would be curious about women that are in their 30s for that poll.
00:55:05.000The interesting thing about all of these polls that take a look at feminism and dating and stuff is that they don't understand the difference in generations.
00:55:12.000So when they say, did you know that women on average make 17% or 23% less than men?
00:55:17.000It's like, are you talking about all age groups or are you factoring in only Gen X and below?
00:55:22.000Because if you do that, then all of a sudden you realize women make more than men.
00:55:43.000I mean, the narrative of the pay gap is wrong for a million and one reasons.
00:55:46.000But what's happened now is it's inverted.
00:55:48.000Young women are more likely to graduate college, more likely to go to college, more likely to get higher paying jobs than their male counterparts.
00:55:54.000But because we lump in boomers with millennials in the same stats, it presents this narrative of female victimhood.
00:56:00.000When boomers are long gone, it is going to be inverted and women will make more than men.
00:56:06.000Well, also it's interesting that it's considered victimhood, right?
00:56:08.000Because what is necessarily wrong with women choosing not to work as much or choosing to work fewer hours or just choosing not to work at all because they want to have a family?
00:56:15.000Why is that seen as like some horrible form of oppression when they're making that choice for themselves?
00:56:18.000You know, feminists will often make the argument that they just want women to be able to make their own choices.
00:56:22.000They're not here to try to force a specific social order onto the greater whole of society.
00:56:28.000All of the decisions women make that they complain about happen to be the more traditional ones.
00:56:32.000So it's clear that they're not interested in letting women make their own choices.
00:56:35.000They have a specific set of standards they think women should be living by for them.
00:56:42.000Every single time they complain about a disparity between men and women, it's a disparity which is an indicator that women are behaving more traditionally or taking on a more traditionally feminine gender role.
00:57:19.000This is why I think young men don't like modern feminism.
00:57:21.000Because women are chasing, I shouldn't say women necessarily, but the feminine is chasing after social acceptance in a rapid degree regardless of what that outcome is.
00:57:32.000It's also financial, it gives you like an air of independence because if a man and woman were dating and the guy has all the money, he's got a job, she doesn't.
00:57:41.000And she's like, I want to eat rabbit tonight.
00:57:44.000And the guy's like, well, I'm paying for it, so we're eating pizza.
00:57:47.000But I think the problem is not that she doesn't have money, the problem is she's dating an asshole.
00:57:59.000To go back to the point I was trying to make is... Maybe she should get a job.
00:58:02.000The point I was trying to make is that women feel pressured to do things they're seeing on social media or in the news because they think that's what they have to do to be accepted, to be acceptable.
00:58:11.000So they're adopting certain behaviors, they're putting on certain messages, they're holding up certain signs, because they all just chase after each other's message.
00:58:20.000Well, there's no one to tell them, like, hey, that's too much.
00:58:22.000And women and girls are more vulnerable to what's called social contagion, right?
00:58:26.000So that's why, like, for example, like, in the 80s, like, it seemed like every woman, like, had an eating disorder, or, you know, or like, there's just certain things that can suddenly crop up, right?
00:58:36.000And I think that sometimes that can happen for women and girls as well when we get bombarded with this messaging that we're supposed to do certain things in career and that we can't even talk about wanting something different.
00:58:49.000From the psychology side also, psychology studies have shown that people on the left are more collectivist.
00:58:57.000and people on the right, politically, tend to be more individualist, right?
00:59:01.000And so one of the... both sides have their extremes, which can be, you know, not so good,
00:59:06.000but when it comes to collectivism, one of the things that can happen is that you can get attached
00:59:12.000to the narrative of the group, right? And there's, you know, groupthink, to the point where you don't
00:59:17.000even feel comfortable stepping out of the narrative.
00:59:19.000That's why it does feel so insanely controversial for young women to say, you know, I'm not sure that I want to be a partner at a law firm, you know?
00:59:30.000You know, you made this point earlier where you said you'd be curious to know how women would respond to being asked the question of whether feminism was a net positive once they're in their 30s or older.
00:59:39.000I think another thing we have to consider is whether we should just be asking women about the specific results Are you happy with the fact that it's more difficult for you to find a man who makes as much money as you?
00:59:50.000Are you happy with the fact that it's harder for you to start a family?
00:59:52.000think that movement intense and not necessarily what its results are so if
00:59:56.000you ask women questions like are you happy with the fact that it's more
00:59:59.000difficult for you to find a man who makes as much money as you are you happy
01:00:02.000with the fact that it's harder for you to start a family I mean almost all of
01:00:04.000them would say no I thought Chloe what you said about the left being more
01:00:08.000collectivist the right being more individualist or independent I guess
01:00:13.000The extreme of the right, individualism, would be like what I was saying earlier, the guy and the girl are in a relationship, the guy makes more money, and he's like, so he, I'm gonna decide what we do because I'm the one bringing the money, and the money is what's gonna get the thing.
01:00:25.000And that's the extreme of the individualism.
01:01:03.000Do you, as, I guess, through your psychology, do you think prenuptials are... I feel like prenuptials should be written into marriage without even, like, the option, personally.
01:01:16.000I think it's going to be different for each person.
01:01:20.000But no, I just personally view marriage as the kind of commitment that you make without needing or wanting to have a if-we-break-up plan.
01:01:33.000Because the plan is, no matter what happens, we're not breaking up.
01:01:36.000However, I am an individualist, and I totally get that every marriage is different, and if other people say that they just feel better with a prenup, I don't have any problem with that.
01:01:46.000I gotta say, if you think you need a prenup, you should not get married.
01:01:56.000Why would getting married to someone mean that all of your wealth from the last 40 years of my life would now be gone if she decided to leave me?
01:02:55.000And I think also... Sorry, the courts are heavily biased in favor of women.
01:03:00.000To an insane degree, especially with children and...
01:03:03.000Well, you know, it's funny because we live in this culture where no-fault divorce is the law of the land.
01:03:09.000And people will say things like, well, look how often marriage ends in divorce.
01:03:13.000How could you ever be in favor of social structures which disincentivize that or would dissuade people from getting divorced?
01:03:19.000But I think what people often miss is if young folks know they're in an environment where divorce is not an option, I firmly believe they're going to be more careful about who they choose to marry.
01:03:28.000And I think also people are going to be more careful about their decision-making in general when it comes to sexuality.
01:03:33.000A lot of people will start sleeping with someone, and as you've mentioned, that releases oxytocin and other hormones that bond you.
01:03:39.000And there are a lot of couples that end up together because they're sexually engaging with one another.
01:03:44.000And they're bonding, but they're not actually really good for each other.
01:03:47.000And then at some point in the marriage, when the novelty of that person wears off, they get divorced.
01:03:52.000So I think it's not just that we have no-fault divorce in people who would otherwise be staying married or getting divorced.
01:03:58.000I think they're actually making poor choices about who they end up marrying because of the current status quo.
01:05:09.000And you know, for me as a psychologist, again, I've sat with women, you know, going through some really rough times, you know, in those situations.
01:05:16.000But there are also women that just, they never want to get married.
01:05:33.000They don't want to give of themselves in the way that it takes to be a wife, to be a mom.
01:05:39.000So I don't want to deny that there are women for whom that actually works out.
01:05:44.000Do you think that's a chemical imbalance, or is that just natural?
01:05:47.000I don't think it's a chemical imbalance.
01:05:50.000I don't know what it is, but I just wanted to make room for the fact that while I do think it's true what Tim said for the most part, and that's definitely the majority of what I see as a psychologist, but there are women that just do their own thing.
01:06:05.000Maybe we would just be better off if, I don't know, women had to wear red dresses and bonnets.
01:06:12.000It's funny because, you know, so you've sort of mentioned that being the exception to the rule and Lydia brought up this idea of the wall.
01:06:17.000Part of what's so unfortunate and really stultifying the discourse on basically everything is that people confuse making like a prescriptive claim and a descriptive claim.
01:06:23.000So by Lydia mentioning that there does seem to be this point at which it's going to be significantly more difficult for a woman to find a partner that she's saying that that's good.
01:06:33.000And so because of that people are just reluctant to say that to young women.
01:06:37.000They're reluctant to share the truth with them about what could possibly await them if they don't get married before a certain point of time.
01:06:45.000I think that's a really horrible thing to do to young women.
01:06:47.000You should tell them the realistic possibilities for their life instead of trying to claim everyone can do everything and then having them end up miserable because they had completely unrealistic expectations because of you.
01:06:56.000My prediction is millennial women will not admit it.
01:07:10.000Of the women who are not being honest with themselves and are more concerned about social pressures than what they truly would want, maybe a family, I don't think they'll admit it.
01:07:18.000They'll be 40 and they'll say, nope, life's great.
01:07:35.000But by that point, there's going to be a generation or two that believed the lies.
01:07:39.000Do you guys think that there's such thing as a soulmate?
01:07:43.000No, I've wondered this because I think that being in the wrong relationship is worse than being single personally for my personal experience.
01:07:51.000And so I was looking for the soulmate.
01:07:53.000I spent decades alone, lonely, you know, and, uh, I don't know.
01:07:57.000I don't think personally, I just can't.
01:07:59.000I think a lot of people might be waiting for the one and that's maybe a mistake.
01:08:03.000I want to give the gist of that famous joke that I've told before.
01:08:11.000You know the joke about the guy in the flood and he prays to the Lord for a savior?
01:09:04.000And the helicopter leaves, because he won't do it.
01:09:06.000And the floodwaters rise up, and he dies.
01:09:08.000When he makes his way up to heaven, he's, you know, before God, and he says, I don't understand.
01:09:11.000I was, I was a faithful servant that did everything, and you let me die.
01:09:14.000And he goes, I sent you a car, a boat, and a helicopter!
01:09:17.000But the reason I tell that joke now is I think for you, Ian, you're saying you were single for so long because you're trying to find the soulmate.
01:09:23.000Perhaps you've already met them and you just thought it was going to be something more than it really was.
01:09:28.000You assumed the soulmate would come down with wings floating down before you when it was just some, you know, I don't know, regular looking person who was like, what up?
01:09:35.000I thought that the soulmate was going to make me better.
01:09:38.000But what I realized was I make myself better.
01:09:46.000I'm curious what you think of the idea of soulmates as a psychologist.
01:09:50.000Yeah, I don't really believe in that so much, but I do think that there's something to be said for, as you said, just focusing on yourself and trying to attract the right person.
01:10:03.000I think that our instant gratification society, whether it be always the opportunity to swipe right and see more and constantly compare, It actually makes it harder to really fix on somebody and settle down on somebody.
01:10:17.000There have even been studies that have shown when it comes to buying peanut butter, for example, if you put a customer in an aisle with 40 different jars of peanut butter, they just won't buy one.
01:10:26.000They're just like, geez, do I want the crunchy or do I want the organic?
01:11:47.000And some of the clients that I would have that didn't have that happening for them, they would be like, I kind of wish my parents would do that for me.
01:11:54.000Because it tends to happen, obviously not with all, but like in the Jewish communities and with the people who have come from India, they tend to have that happen more often, at least in just my colloquial observations.
01:12:54.000Dowries and land grants and things like that.
01:12:56.000That's why a lot of the royal families were doing it all. 100%.
01:12:59.000Well, one of the things that I noticed in that conversation about arranged marriage is that both parties are going into it with the understanding that they are dating for marriage.
01:13:11.000And not only dating for marriage, right, but giving up this idea that there is a quote-unquote soulmate.
01:13:16.000I think it's a really toxic and destructive idea that there's going to be someone who will come along and you'll just have an effortlessly good relationship.
01:13:23.000That's not going to be true about friendships or relationships, like any kind of relationship that you have.
01:13:27.000And so it makes sense that in our culture, we would think that because as you mentioned, we're all about instant gratification.
01:13:32.000So yes, of course, I'm going to meet someone who just like bends to my will and everything, which people don't admit, but that's kind of what they say when they want a soulmate.
01:13:40.000I want, I want someone who isn't going to require that I change anything about myself or give anything to, and who it's just like effortlessly pleasurable to be with.
01:13:47.000I noticed an uptick in video games where you can get married in the video game.
01:13:51.000That started like in 2000, not Oh, dude.
01:14:08.000Part of me is like, we can talk about the future, and the dark future, and the bright future, and we could be like, you know, I wonder what people would experience.
01:14:14.000But I'm telling you, when you get to the point where you're just not having kids, and you're making robo babies, and they're just like digital video game babies, alright, that's it.
01:14:43.000Yeah, I think that kind of feels like where we're going.
01:14:46.000You know, they're building AI that's getting better and stronger and faster.
01:14:51.000And it just really feels like the future is going to be AI entities.
01:14:56.000One of the problems with this, and you brought up Seamus, which made me think about it, is that there's no resistance, or maybe not no resistance, but the lack of resistance with digital relationships.
01:15:04.000Video game characters that are your wife in the game or your child in the game, they don't push back.
01:15:09.000Like, they don't come in and tell you what they feel.
01:15:13.000And no one would really, I don't think anyone would want to play a game where that's the case, because you've got a real life to get started with.
01:15:19.000But it's definitely training people to expect that in real life.
01:15:23.000I think people do like video games that offer them adversity, but slightly less resistance.
01:15:30.000So we play video games for that dopamine release.
01:15:32.000People will take up these Tamagotchi babies in the metaverse, and it will be just easy enough to where you feel rewarded, but you don't have to do as much work.
01:15:44.000Well, depending if they plug your brain in with Neuralink, you'll smell it all day.
01:15:48.000What if they made you wake up in the middle of the night eight times to feed this thing?
01:15:54.000I have to tell you, waking up to feed my beautiful baby, it's worth it.
01:16:04.000We were talking about this even before.
01:16:05.000I actually said the smell, but it won't have the smell.
01:16:09.000I need to sniff his hair, my little baby.
01:16:12.000I don't understand why people would want this.
01:16:18.000One thing that comes to mind for me also is that there's been a decrease in people's sense of self.
01:16:25.000A lot of people have been coming to therapy saying that they don't have as much of a sense of self, and psychologists have thought about it in terms of the the decline of the family or decline of religion or you
01:16:36.000know social roles kind of you know breaking down and a lot of people just don't have what they they
01:16:41.000feel is like a a sense of self and so I wonder if on some level you know these virtual
01:16:46.000relationships and you know they're they're seeking somebody else to to kind of provide that for them I don't I
01:16:51.000don't know but I definitely don't want a I want to smell mine.
01:16:55.000I want to see him in the middle of the night.
01:16:57.000Just imagine what it will be like when people have like a 16 year old virtual AI life form and the AI's advanced to the point where it's almost indistinguishable or completely from a real person.
01:17:10.000And then people are like, it's a video game, so they don't really care.
01:17:15.000And then the AI is begging, don't, don't leave me, mom, no, I'm real.
01:17:20.000Like Artificial Intelligence, the Spielberg film.
01:18:00.00030-year-old AI babies are going to have their own AI babies?
01:18:04.000And you're going to have AI grandchildren?
01:18:05.000You're going to have people who don't allow the AI baby to age?
01:18:09.000This terrifies me because if the power goes out, not that we can't build persistent power structure systems like nuclear batteries and things that can never go out, but if there's some sort of disruption in the electric flow that these things disappear, it would make it an insanity.
01:18:23.000It would have an entire populace of insanity of people that have lost their minds, their babies, basically.
01:18:31.000There's that show Upload where they can upload your consciousness and in it they also make AI babies.
01:18:37.000But there's laws in this version of the future where people who have their consciousness uploaded can't work because it would create labor shortages and stuff because people would never die.
01:18:47.000And you could do coding and other work in this digital reality.
01:18:52.000The crazy thing will be, if we create this alternate virtual world, this metaverse, with AI lifeforms, and then we start creating interoperability between virtual world and real world, like downloaded into a body and stuff, then civilization starts to get supplanted by fictional people, and then you've got just terrifying scenarios where there could be like AI terror attacks.
01:19:17.000Where like one of these AI babies grows up and it's like, I don't care.
01:19:20.000They treat us like second class citizens, but I'm alive.
01:19:23.000And then they hack the grid and then blow up a real, you know, gas plant or something.
01:19:28.000Or like your AI baby just takes your credit card info and gives it to China.
01:19:35.000But no, I just, it's so sad because you can imagine like a woman in her fifties or sixties regrets not having a family, like using the thought of it just makes me so sad.
01:19:44.000In a way it's someone like, It's like maybe a paraplegic or someone that lost the use of their legs using a neural net to regain function.
01:19:53.000Maybe it could be an opportunity for people that missed the boat on having a baby to experience.
01:20:54.000Do you guys in the psychology, I don't know if it's industry or whatever, but like, do you work with like how AI is impacting human psychology or how Internet and digital communications are impacting?
01:21:05.000I'm sure some psychologists do, but I personally don't.
01:21:09.000But in terms of psychology, I will say that to your point, Seamus, about parenting being about the child, Freud, and I'm not a big fan of everything Freud ever said or did.
01:22:49.000That's what the Catholic theology says.
01:22:52.000But do you think if the soul was like latching onto a piece of matter, that the parents would create a piece of matter that has a similar latching structure?
01:23:01.000That a similar soul would I'm not sure what you mean.
01:23:05.000It supposits that the soul is latching onto a specific DNA structure or a specific neural geometric pattern.
01:23:13.000My brain has a unique pattern that that soul is attracted to.
01:23:17.000It's interesting because I believe that we're a body-soul composite.
01:23:20.000The soul and the body are intimately tied together.
01:23:23.000I'm not sure exactly how to answer that question.
01:23:27.000But I think just there is, I mean, I certainly believe there's a very beautiful and special relationship between a mother and child that we can't really understand fully with like reference to other relationships.
01:23:39.000People try to sort of analogize the mother-child relationship to other things, especially And the abortion debate which we've gotten into a number of times But it's just like there's something very special and unique and different about that relationship that would almost Bring harm to it to even try to describe.
01:23:54.000It's like we can't quite touch it Yeah, I get the sense that there's something there, I just don't have any data.
01:24:09.000Okay, well, you know what I was thinking?
01:24:10.000It's really funny that the people who believe the world is overpopulated are the same people who believe that you should sterilize your kids, you should not have kids, you should abort your kids, you should gorge yourself until you're on the verge of death because you can be healthy at any size.
01:24:24.000And I'm just like, Isn't it weird that all of these weird social things they advocate for just result in less people?
01:24:30.000Or is it just like, that's what they want?
01:24:33.000Well, also, I'm going to be honest, and I don't know these people, but when I hear this, it generally strikes me as a post-hoc rationalization.
01:24:39.000I think people choose not to have children for lifestyle reasons, and then they'll say something like, it's for the environment because they want to feel good about themselves.
01:24:46.000I don't think, I don't really know anyone who, like, really, really wanted to have kids but went, I can't, it's for Mother Earth.
01:24:53.000Most people I know who say that probably weren't going to have kids or have many kids anyway.
01:24:56.000I think the issue is these young millennial women who aren't having kids are femcels, you know?
01:25:13.000It's like, well, I didn't want to have a kid anyway.
01:25:15.000It's like, maybe it just didn't work out for you, so you retreat to the defensive position of, well, I didn't want it, so.
01:25:20.000Yeah, I don't know, because I also know some, like, attractive, married millennials that are not having kids, like, and just have no desire to do it, you know?
01:25:29.000I'm not saying that every instance of a woman not having kids is rats.
01:25:35.000No, I think that there are probably many millennial women who it didn't work out for and then claim it was a problem.
01:25:41.000With this not-having-kids-to-save-the-planet narrative is that you might choose not to have a kid, unfortunately, but you would have been a phenomenal parent, and that kid could have grown up and made groundbreaking technology that could have made the world so much better.
01:25:53.000And then you could be a terrible parent that has ten kids, or one kid, that ends up being a deviant and a hostile individual.
01:26:00.000So it really doesn't matter how many, it matters the quality.
01:26:05.000How many does matter, but not as much as the quality of what exists.
01:26:09.000Yeah, but if you have like 50 babies, you're bound to have one good one, right?
01:26:15.000It's an interesting point about the like, it's almost like a rationalization that you're talking about, you know, where if suppose that you, you know, didn't want to have kids because you didn't want to give up that much of yourself and of your time and you know, then you would think like, okay, well, does that make me selfish?
01:26:30.000And then you would invert it by saying, no, no, I'm not selfish at all.
01:26:33.000I'm actually doing the world a big favor.
01:26:35.000I'm just actually, you know, being so nurturing here of the world by not having kids, you know, so I don't know.
01:26:42.000I mean, unfortunately, I think that that may be true for some of them, but I honestly think it's unfortunately that there actually might genuinely be Well, let's take it to the dark place, I suppose.
01:26:52.000If you advocate for abortion, you're less likely to have offspring.
01:26:54.000by the idea that you know the world is a terrible place or you know that that the
01:26:59.000world cannot support those children and that makes me really sad. Well let's take
01:27:03.000it to the dark place I suppose. If you advocate for abortion you're less likely
01:27:06.000to have offspring. If you sterilize your kids you're less likely to have your
01:27:10.000genes persist beyond them. If you gorge yourself and you're very very unhealthy
01:28:05.000I got way too much information on the internet in 2006 about the military industrial complex, Monsanto, the pharmaceutical companies, all the lies, the media lies.
01:28:16.000And I was like, well, I mean, how could we ever dig out of this?
01:29:38.000You know, I mean, I was only 17, you know what I mean?
01:29:41.000So I think, you know, what changed is, I mean, my executive lobe matured, right?
01:29:46.000You know, like, which, you know, doesn't happen.
01:29:48.000You're the executive lobe of your brain, like, which doesn't finish growing until you're like 25, you know?
01:29:53.000I was also in a very difficult place in my life.
01:29:56.000I had a kind of a crazy childhood and everything.
01:29:59.000I just don't think I had a good template in my mind, you know, for what that would look like.
01:30:03.000And then, you know, just through maturing and discovering that I could have good relationships and that seeing happy families and realizing that family life could be a lot of fun, it wasn't that big of a leap for me to be like, ah, yes, motherhood.
01:30:18.000It's wonderful that the doctor was actually concerned with you and your long-term interests rather than simply validating the choice you said you wanted to make at the time.
01:30:25.000I think it's very sad that as a society... Affirmative care.
01:30:29.000We put so much emphasis on what a person says that they want in any particular moment that we don't even stop to think about their long-term well-being.
01:30:37.000And also, if someone at 17 says, I never ever want to have children, not because I want to do X, Y, and Z, or I don't think I'm called to marriage, but I just don't want to bring life into this world.
01:30:46.000I think that's serious cause for concern for someone to say, like, hey, what's going on?
01:30:50.000A person is revealing that there is, as you mentioned, some kind of difficulty there that you were struggling with.
01:30:56.000And a person should care when they hear that and want to help intervene to lift the person, not give them surgeries.
01:31:02.000Take a look at this opening paragraph from this article.
01:31:04.000They say, Gwynne McKellen was 26 when she decided to get sterilized.
01:31:09.000It took the recycling consultant five years to find the appropriate doctor under the public health plan she was on, but she was determined.
01:31:17.000You know, my only response is if you are predisposed to sterilizing yourself, well, then it's a self-solving problem for everyone else, right?
01:32:00.000Feel free to fact check this, but I heard that part of why it's generally the stereotype that Irish people have many children.
01:32:07.000It's not just because, you know, we're Irish Catholics.
01:32:09.000It's because women are, they're less likely to conceive when they're breastfeeding, but for whatever reason, Irish women tend to be more likely to have a mutation where they still will conceive even while they are breastfeeding, which is why you have Irish twins and Irish triplets and Irish babies who are born one after another.
01:32:27.000So, for those that aren't familiar, Irish twins is basically when the woman gets, conceives, gets pregnant almost immediately after she gives birth, so you actually have siblings who are not a year older than each other.
01:32:39.000Yeah, I was 13 months younger than my older sister.
01:32:41.000So my parents were not messing around.
01:33:33.000The problem is having kids that you don't take care of just for money.
01:33:37.000It's not for money, it's a tax credit.
01:33:39.000You're not getting money, you're paying less in taxes.
01:33:41.000But like a bad parent, that's vague, but like a parent that's vacant, that's off working and has like five kids and they don't instruct them on what's good and then the kids grow up and become villains, you know, that's a problem.
01:34:08.000You need to keep more of the money that you earn.
01:34:10.000In fact, they know that one of the problems that children face when they're in a large family is that their parents aren't able to earn quite as much.
01:34:16.000This is one of the reasons I wrote about this.
01:34:18.000This is why dementia is higher in parents who have more than three children.
01:34:22.000Because it's much more stressful to be able to work enough to give, for example, six children, like were in my family, to be able to give them a stable home.
01:34:31.000And I still, to this day, don't understand how I was a single, my family was a single income home, my mother was a stay-at-home mother, and I had five siblings.
01:35:02.000If you have not already, would you kindly smash that like button, subscribe to this channel, share the show with your friends, become a member at TimCast.com if you want to support the work we are doing.
01:35:11.000You'll get access to those exclusive members-only shows we do Monday through Thursday.
01:35:15.000But now we're going to read your superchats, so smash that like button, get your superchats in, let's see what y'all got to say.
01:35:59.000So I was listening to the conversations that you guys had a couple nights ago about why, you know, maybe just saying that there's a double standard in the press.
01:36:08.000Like Tim was saying, like, I'm just sick of saying it.
01:36:29.000And so even if we feel powerless to fight it, which Tim was telling me as well,
01:36:33.000that what he wants is for people to not just, you know, quit talking about it,
01:36:37.000but for people to start doing something about it, which I think is great.
01:36:41.000But I was saying, like, even if you don't feel like you're ready to do something about it, you should, I think, not, you know, quit talking about it.
01:36:47.000Because when we quit talking about something, then we lose touch with the reality of that thing.
01:36:55.000Actually, with my book, Nervous Energy Harness the Power of Your Anxiety, the whole idea there is that you take that awareness when you sense an injustice and that something is wrong or you're having an emotion about it, and you use that emotion to fuel behavior to make a change.
01:37:11.000So when you're like getting upset that there's this double standard, you would then say to yourself, like, okay, well, what are five things that I can do to, you know, fight this double standard?
01:37:20.000And Tim was talking about his parallel economy idea, which I think is very intriguing.
01:37:24.000Yeah, you know, so we were talking and I said, what's the point of telling everyone over and over again?
01:37:29.000There's a double standard we can all plainly see and experience.
01:37:32.000And the solution is, well, we should be investing in utilizing alternate infrastructures, alternative infrastructures.
01:37:39.000So when big tech doesn't ban Antifa, but they do ban some random guys that learn to code.
01:37:44.000We need to start just saying, we get it.
01:37:46.000We're in an abusive relationship and it's time to leave.
01:37:52.000That's why we're using Rumble cloud infrastructure for the website.
01:37:56.000We use Rumble for our members only section.
01:37:58.000And we've got some other things in the works that I frequently mention we can't talk about until we do it.
01:38:03.000For security reasons, but we've got stuff we're working on.
01:38:05.000That's really interesting about speaking up about injustice and continuing to, because in some countries you'd be killed for speaking up, and we have the First Amendment, and that's like a form of exercising that, and like a duty to continue to exercise that.
01:38:16.000Right, which is, I have to say, my next blog is going to be about the mental health benefits of free speech.
01:38:22.000So if anybody wants to get that blog sent to them, you can go to makeachange.us, makeachange.us, and give me your email and I will send you my blog when it comes out on mental health benefits of free speech.
01:40:03.000And no, I don't think it's better to be a Nazi.
01:40:05.000There's a funny meme and it says, you never ask a man his salary, you never ask a woman her age, and you never ask the Azov battalion what this symbol means, and it's the black sun.
01:41:05.000There was one, one of the few funny more recent Onion articles was like Joe Biden appeals to 1930s tough guys with his new slogan, no malarkey.
01:41:17.000Aside of salt says, for what is an assault weapon?
01:41:20.000Get in touch with Langley Outdoors Academy, Reno May Guns and Gadgets, and the Firearms Policy Coalition.
01:41:49.000Armament included cannons and privateers and all of that crazy stuff.
01:41:53.000You know, I loved what Carrie Sheffield said on your show also a couple days ago when she talked about how guns for women actually are the great equalizer.
01:42:01.000They give us an extra layer of protection that helps us a lot.
01:42:04.000There's a viral video out of Brazil where a guy walks up to a group of women and tries robbing them and then a woman just pulls out her gun.
01:43:06.000Tcraft says, due to this wave of feminism, my son, 17 years old, has stated that he isn't getting married and saving the money to have a surrogate to become a single dad.
01:43:42.000Well, you know, in psychology, we have something called the need-fear dilemma, which is the thing that we need the most, like lonely people, like they crave companionship, but they also fear it the most as well.
01:43:52.000Like the need-fear dilemma, the things we need are often the things we fear.
01:45:02.000So we're talking about doing skate competitions, blading, rollerblading, scooting, bike, all that stuff.
01:45:07.000So that we can tell people, buy some of the stuff for your kids, get your kids a skateboard, get them rollerblades, get them a scooter, bring them on to the park where we're gonna have burgers and hang out and everyone gets to talk.
01:45:50.000Ian Kinney says you should have Warren Thomas Farrell on the show.
01:45:53.000He initially came to prominence in the 1970s as a supporter of second-wave feminism, now fights for men and is the author of The Boy Crosses.
01:46:02.000I watched a video a long time ago where this guy was trying to go to a lecture on male suicides, and leftists and feminists blocked the doors.
01:46:12.000And this guy was trying to go and they wouldn't let him in.
01:46:15.000And they're like, why are you coming here?
01:46:27.000Susie Anna says, after my youngest, along with male classmates, were daily forced to sit legs crossed like a girl, and the females sat with their legs spread like boys, the next semester I pulled my six boys from public school.
01:46:40.000You know what the funniest thing about the man-spreading stuff was?
01:46:43.000They were like... I just felt like a bunch of dudes outed themselves as having small balls or something.
01:46:48.000Because I was like, dude, I don't like crossing my legs like that because it hurts my junk.
01:46:52.000And then there are these guys who are like, just sit with your legs crossed.
01:46:55.000And I'm like, men sit with their legs crossed with their ankle on their knee.
01:47:00.000Women sit with their legs crossed with knee over knee.
01:47:02.000It looks weird to me when I see a man crossing his legs like a woman.
01:47:08.000I love doing it every once in a while.
01:47:09.000You get into that, like, bohemian artist look where, like, they have a cigarette hanging out of their fingers and they're all tight and twisted.
01:47:14.000Well, like I just said, some men are outing themselves and having small junk, I guess.
01:47:16.000Yeah, you gotta move back and get your junk lower than your, like, below your legs if you're gonna twist and turn.
01:47:23.000I just think it was really funny that they did an ad campaign in subways and billboards being like, no manspreading.
01:47:29.000And it was just, like, this idea of manspreading is not a real thing.
01:47:32.000Like, there's videos of women and they're, like, cowering as the man's pushing his legs.
01:47:57.000And he's like, yeah, but my balls are in my legs.
01:48:00.000Flo says, Conservatives have for too long bragged about their socioeconomic successes, culture, and their privilege to defend their property, all at the expense of black and trans lives.
01:48:10.000It's time that we Democrats change the conversation and act.
01:48:46.000Sam Good says, Seamus, do you believe husband and wife are allowed to have sex for fun?
01:48:51.000Uh, well, husband and wife should be, uh, having sex with one another.
01:48:54.000I don't believe that you should do anything which precludes the possibility of having a child, but it's not as if every single time people have sex, they're gonna be sitting there thinking, like, we are making a child right now, and that's our... What about pulling out?
01:49:05.000Yeah, oh, yes, we're also against that.
01:49:13.000Because it prevents the final end of the sexual act, right?
01:49:16.000It's for the purposes of unity and procreation, and so you're preventing, you're getting the pleasure out of it without fulfilling the purpose.
01:49:30.000The idea is to create a negative interpretation of what right-wing means, accuse your opponents of being that thing, with a buzz term that many on the right are willing to accept, that way when people are like, you know what, I guess I am a conservative, you've poisoned the well on behalf of the person smearing you.
01:49:45.000Then, the brainwashed NPC liberals, or the default liberals, who hear right-wing equals bad, see you say, I guess I am, and then they go, okay, you're bad then.
01:49:54.000So, when they call you right-wing, they're doing it to otherize you, so it's more difficult for you to reach regular people.
01:50:03.000But for people who are fine with it, you're right.
01:50:53.000I think the best social media dating app is YouTube, personally.
01:50:57.000Because if you make videos, and you put yourself, your real self out there, people see it, and then the people that you would get along with contact you, and you just take it seriously.
01:54:05.000We had an idea for the vlog for a bit where it's a background gag where just like Seamus uses potatoes as currency.
01:54:11.000So it's not like directly addressed in the show.
01:54:13.000You just like, you'll see him in the background and a pizza guy will be at the door while you'll see someone talking in the foreground in the background.
01:54:19.000Seamus will take a pizza from the pizza guy and then hand him a potato.
01:54:22.000But then the pizza guy will take out two smaller potatoes as change and give it to him and take the big potato.
01:54:26.000I only did that once and they want it to be like a regular thing.
01:55:41.000I think because the Greeks have divided into eight different types of love and sometimes people feel one or a few of them, but it's not holistic.
01:55:48.000And when you find that holistic love, it usually lasts.
01:55:51.000Yeah, but if you're going to get married for love, the whole point is you don't want to ever have to say goodbye.
01:55:58.000Pedro Henrique says, Tim, I am a sucker for your takes.
01:56:01.000I'm a right-wing libertarian that'd love to neighbor settlements with your socialist compound.
01:56:06.000Thank you for bringing in some logical sense, and kudos to him to get you.
01:56:11.000West Virginia, man, this is the dream.
01:56:14.000Everybody's like Texas, and I'm like, nah.
01:56:17.000Although I think it's fair to say that those who are moving to Texas and Florida are fighting a good fight.
01:56:21.000You're- you're changing, you know, these are- these are- Texas is turning purple, Florida has been purple, and if you move there and you pull back, you're- you're helping secure those locations, so I can respect that.
01:56:33.000MothMoniker says, could you have Elon Musk on Timcast and also Thunderf00t have them on the podcast for a couple hours?
01:56:39.000Now that- now is the time for Philip to roast Musk in front of the world, have them at the same time together.
01:57:08.000They shipped it as soon as I ordered it.
01:57:10.000184 megabits down, five megabits up, 82 millisecond latency.
01:57:16.000We're gonna have to figure out how to make Starlink satellites out of metamaterials that are see-through so that they're more defensible to Chinese attack.
01:57:39.000If we're on the road and we want, like, so Porkfest, this big libertarian thing in New Hampshire, we're not going to be making it there, but we were considering it.
01:57:45.000The challenge was, how do you get internet in the middle of nowhere?
01:57:48.000Now that we have Starlink, we'd be able to do a lower quality broadcast using Starlink, so that would be cool.
01:57:54.000So we can be in the middle of a desert and do a show.
01:58:00.000This is exactly what I needed it for, for the mobile studio.
01:58:04.000And it's good to have just as an alternative.
01:58:06.000We could go to the desert on the van, open up the side of the van, flash lights on a sitting in the desert and record us like with the desert in the background.
01:58:37.000But, you know, people, the funny thing is you assume it's going to be like snuggling and having breakfast when in reality it's like yelling at you about leaving your shirt on the floor again.
01:58:44.000It's like you kicked your shoes off and you threw your socks on the floor.
01:58:47.000I swear, like, you know, throughout my house there are socks just everywhere.
01:59:09.000No, my house actually looks like my room.
01:59:11.000It was funny, the other day I brought up, so Allison is my girlfriend and she was mountain biking.
01:59:18.000and so I ate bacon dipped in cheese sauce for dinner and then I mentioned that and she started laughing her ass off because like when she's around I have like grilled chicken breast with fresh vegetables and then when she's not I just dip bacon and cheese I'm like that sounds like a really typical man thing to do it's like well I can't cook so you can cook you're a great cook yeah but I don't have time and so I'm just like Dipping bacon and cheese is really good.
02:01:36.000Well, it's funny because on the one hand, I knew someone who had a kid with someone and I was like, oh, when you guys get married, he's like, no, it's too much of a commitment.
02:02:00.000You know you're gonna be with that person till that you have to care like you have a responsibility to your children, right?
02:02:04.000But you know your children can sort of move away and go other places like you are going to be with that spouse forever if you're doing it right.
02:02:11.000Gaming with Spoon says just wanted to say thank you Tim finally caved and watched Star Trek because you wouldn't stop talking about it and absolutely loving it.
02:02:19.000Keep on fighting the fight you guys give me hope that we can get through.
02:02:22.000Star Trek The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine.
02:02:28.000In the Pale Moonlight, the episode where, I'm gonna spoil it because it's just amazing and you gotta watch it, where they basically, the Federation stages a false flag attack to force one of their adversaries into a war on their side.
02:02:57.000Give me an advanced All right skater own solution says Tim How can we get the Tim cast boards previously mentioned want to have them to give away at a contest we are doing?
02:03:09.000Send your address To spin the UFO at gmail.com and we will have some step on snake and find out skateboards sent to you.
02:03:18.000Oh And if you would be so kind, title it very clearly what you're emailing about.
02:03:22.000Tell me you're asking for Step on Snake boards.
02:03:25.000Not only that, I'll tell you what else we'll do.
02:03:28.000If you have a skate shop and you want some free boards to sell or giveaway or whatever, send us your info.
02:03:36.000We've sent skate shops, Timcast skateboards before.
02:03:54.000For you, you can sell it and make money and support your shop.
02:03:57.000So, I think it's a really, really good idea.
02:03:59.000Like, the idea that we're gonna have a bunch of young people with, like, boards that rep, you know, the show and the website.
02:04:05.000The skate shops basically are getting a donation that allows them to make money to keep going.
02:04:10.000Uh, and not only that, with the boards we send to you, you can sell them for whatever you want.
02:04:15.000So that means if you've got kids who are like, I can't afford a board, it's no sweat off your back to be like, take this one for free dude, keep skating.
02:05:50.000I had a burning question about your book.
02:05:51.000What's the simplest way in an elevator pitch style to convert or redirect your nervous energy?
02:05:59.000So when you feel yourself feeling anxious, you just ask yourself, what could be the healthy action that this anxiety is trying to stimulate me to take?
02:06:07.000Because the healthy function of anxiety is to stimulate preparation behaviors.
02:06:11.000So when you feel anxious, you say to yourself, well, what could I do right now that would help to improve my current or future situation?
02:06:18.000But I go into a lot more detail in the book.
02:06:25.000I'm really looking forward to reading it, and I hope that you're willing to leave a copy or two for us, for sure.
02:06:30.000I feel like anxiety is something that's not addressed enough.
02:06:32.000It's something left over from when we were evolving to keep us on our toes and keep us from being eaten, which is a very useful strategy when there are saber-toothed tigers around, but not so much when we're, like, living and working in cubicles and stuff.
02:06:43.000Anyway, I'm looking forward to reading it.