Action4Canada - Action4Canada Parent Webinar： A Classical Education Approach for Homeschooling

00:00:00.000 My name is Doris. I'm the host here with Action for Canada and the Homeschool

00:00:12.640 Parent Support Lead. We've got an exciting morning to present here. So I'm just going

00:00:21.680 to screen share here as people are signing in. And we want to go to current issues.

00:00:31.280 And we got a homeschooling revolution down here. And here you can find lots of great videos,

00:00:42.200 people that we have partnered with, different organizations, and great videos. A couple

00:00:48.720 things here. The Homeschool Association Directory, that's how you find me. I'm Doris. Again,

00:00:55.440 it's broken down by province. And so if you live in Alberta, you can reach AHIA,

00:01:02.400 Alberta Home Education Association, and they'll help you get started either with understanding

00:01:07.920 your homeschool laws in your province, how to find your support groups, how to find activities for

00:01:13.600 the kids. And then if you continue scrolling down, you will find our resources. And we've got the

00:01:20.000 Homeschool Legal Defense Association here, and the Learning House, and then some great magazines that

00:01:26.720 you can tap into to encourage you on the journey. Okay, and then we have the webinar page. So it's on

00:01:36.320 our homeschool page, you sign up here. And scroll down these, this is where all the videos that I've done in

00:01:46.720 the past, I'm going to start from the bottom, and scroll up. So we started out

00:01:54.720 back in the spring. And we, the one about Homeschool Legal Defense Association with Peter Stock was really,

00:02:01.840 really, really, really good. Teaching multiple ages, if you've got three, four or five kids at home,

00:02:07.680 that was a good one. And then the in depth, when sex ed, that's the same word for SOGI. I think that

00:02:17.200 terminology gets used in Ontario. And then Israel Wayne, that was a great one history of education,

00:02:23.280 and so on. So you go all the way back up here, then we ran our parenting course. And that's great for

00:02:29.280 parents who want to talk to their kids about biblical sexuality. This course is still available.

00:02:36.560 You just got to sign up for it. And then

00:02:42.240 the last two weeks ago, I interviewed Greg Needham from the Christian Canadian Christian

00:02:48.000 education movement. That's an exciting one to watch to see what's going on in Canada. Okay.

00:02:55.040 So we've got that. And I'm going to now welcome Hester Van Braden. She is from Abbotsford and has an

00:03:05.360 amazing store there. It's called Classical Education Books. I wanted to say .ca, which it is. And

00:03:15.920 she's a second generation homeschooling parent. While pursuing ideas for her own children's education,

00:03:22.000 she began to learn more about classical education. Her passion for pursuing what she found in classical

00:03:29.040 education spilled out of her home. She has started homeschooling co-ops and reading groups. She's a

00:03:35.040 guest speaker on various podcasts and presents monthly support talks at meetings hosted at her bookstore.

00:03:42.080 Hester started the bookstore unintentionally just to help out some friends. Over the years,

00:03:47.520 the bookstore has expanded to include working with brick and mortar schools and parents who send their

00:03:53.280 kids to school, but need to find good literature for them. While the materials are a necessary part of

00:04:00.240 education, Hester's work is largely to promote an education that focuses on the good, the beautiful,

00:04:06.720 and the true in a world that's confused and needs to have those ideas once again.

00:04:14.000 So welcome, Hester Van Braden. And yeah. So let's just get right into it. I've got some notes here I'm

00:04:25.040 going to review. You wanted to first talk about the top-down approach. Tell us what that is.

00:04:31.360 Yeah, so yeah. So this is an approach that I've been working on promoting when, especially when you're

00:04:41.040 new to homeschooling. It's also a good approach to review annually. If you've been homeschooling

00:04:47.200 forever, this is a, this is just a kind of a template to help you understand who is your family?

00:04:53.760 What are, what is your role in your community? What are your strengths and weaknesses? And

00:04:58.160 the reason why we do this is because there are so many opportunities out there, so many options for

00:05:02.560 curriculum, for extracurricular activities, for, you know, nature, nature walks and museums. Like,

00:05:10.560 especially here in the lower mainland, we have some of the most beautiful places in the world to go.

00:05:15.040 So how do we decide as a family what we're going to take advantage of and how we're going to lay out

00:05:20.880 in education for our children? And I, we start, we need to start by standing back and taking a look at

00:05:29.120 your family. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Primarily, what is the, what is the

00:05:37.520 setting in which you live? Are you an agricultural family? Are you in an urban setting? Do you have lots

00:05:42.960 of family that can help you? And by looking at these things, it helps us to understand where our strengths

00:05:49.920 are. So if you have a dad, dad goes to work every day, mom stays at home. That's a wonderful setting

00:05:56.240 for mom to be able to homeschool the kids. Um, but we also want to look at, um, so if you're an

00:06:03.120 agricultural family, then your kids are going to be one good at, uh, what they're going to be outside a

00:06:08.640 lot helping with the animals. Um, and so there's opportunities there for you to lean into that kind of

00:06:14.080 an education. Um, and then, and then once, so once you've kind of taken a look at who is your family,

00:06:21.120 where are your strengths, then we need to embrace those strengths. So if, if you're in an urban setting,

00:06:27.680 for example, and you have, you're in smaller, uh, maybe a smaller home, um, then maybe we need to take

00:06:34.720 advantage of some of the outdoor, um, options that we have. Um, but the idea behind top down is we

00:06:41.760 start to, we start with looking at our family and we define who we are and what are our beliefs. Um,

00:06:47.680 the, one of the things that needs to be assessed as well is, um, why are you, what, why are you

00:06:53.680 homeschooling? Why have you made this decision to homeschool? And even from there, create a mission

00:06:59.300 statement, a mission statement for your family. Um, because the reason why you chose to homeschool

00:07:04.760 now may not be the reason why you continue to homeschool or why you're homeschooling five years

00:07:09.500 down the road. However, it is going to be the number one factor that influences how you proceed

00:07:15.960 with your homeschooling. Uh, because especially when you start off, if you're homeschooling, because

00:07:21.740 you need to get your children out of the school environment and you're, you're, you're going to be a

00:07:27.140 little overwhelmed, um, and you're going to have to, uh, take a step back and not worry so much about

00:07:32.420 the book work. Um, we actually call it, um, de-schooling. It's not unschooling, but it's de-schooling

00:07:37.640 for a little bit and that's okay. Um, but the idea, the idea behind a top down approach is don't start

00:07:45.000 with what curriculum am I going to do? What are my activities going to be? The first thing you need to

00:07:50.420 look at is who are we as a family? Why are we doing this? The next thing that you would look

00:07:57.460 at then is, um, what, what kind of time, how do we, how are we going to use our time? So the way we

00:08:03.960 like to say, look at it is we say this, okay, you've got 24 hours in a day. Uh, how are we going to use

00:08:08.900 those? Um, well, we have to sleep. So how many, that's going to take off at least 10 hours, uh, eight

00:08:13.940 hours. If you're me, it's going to take off 10 hours. Um, but every family is going to be different,

00:08:18.120 right? So, so, so decide how many hours do we need for sleep? Then you're going to need to take

00:08:23.260 time to eat. So that's how many hours is that going to be? And you're going to need time for

00:08:27.600 getting yourself ready in the morning and taking care of your, your, um, your home and your chores.

00:08:33.460 So really like at the end of the day, how many hours are you going to have to actually sit down

00:08:39.060 and do book work? Okay. Maybe it's four, maybe it's three. That's okay. You don't need to

00:08:46.180 have eight hours to homeschool. You do need to have time to live and to take care of yourself

00:08:51.160 and your children. So if you end up with say four hours in the day, now, you know, you have four

00:08:56.460 hours to, to do formal academic education, or maybe it's three hours. That's all right. So once

00:09:03.240 you've taken a look at who are we as a family and what is our mission statement, how, how are we going

00:09:07.920 to divide up our time? Um, then the next thing we want to look at is the ability of mom and dad,

00:09:15.260 um, like in some sense, the physical ability and the resources we have to help. So perhaps mom

00:09:23.520 is feeling great and she can do this and she's got all the time and the energy in the world.

00:09:27.940 That's fantastic. But that's not always the case, particularly, um, if you're have a young family

00:09:34.260 and say you've had your four, just had your fourth child and you're trying to homeschool these little

00:09:38.460 guys over here, um, mom needs to pace herself. Um, so what does that look like, uh, where you,

00:09:45.900 you need to take time for the, for the baby and you need to take time to rest for yourself because

00:09:50.400 you can't burn out, um, burning out is going to actually end up getting nothing done. Um, and so

00:09:55.860 it's okay to slow down when, when you have those times where mom needs to just pace herself. Um, the

00:10:01.960 children are going to get an education. There's just no question about it. We'll talk about some of

00:10:05.360 those things a little bit later on, on what that will look like, but your children will be educated.

00:10:09.920 Even if you, as the mom have to slow it down a little bit, because you are going through a period

00:10:15.320 or a stage where you just don't have top energy, or perhaps, um, perhaps there is like an illness

00:10:21.800 in the family, or there is a child with a lot of special needs. These are things that we need to

00:10:26.580 take into consideration because this is who you are as a family. This is how God created you. This is how

00:10:31.980 God made you to be in this world. And we're not, so we don't want to fight that. We don't want to

00:10:37.880 become something that we're that, that, you know, because we think we have to be what culture tells

00:10:43.800 us or what society says we have to be, or we have to meet some kind of mold. We're not doing that,

00:10:48.780 right? We're, we are going to take a step back. We're going to educate ourselves and our children,

00:10:56.580 and we're going to live together in a way that God has called us in the circumstances that he

00:11:02.280 has placed us. Okay. Um, and, and we have to, so once you've decided your energy levels, your

00:11:08.740 abilities, cause maybe, maybe mom works part-time dad works part-time, uh, maybe dad is going to be

00:11:14.000 involved heavily in the homeschool. So that's a possibility. Um, other resources we can look at is

00:11:19.720 grandparents or aunts and uncles or friends or, uh, the, uh, other people's willingness to participate

00:11:26.400 in our children's education and not even in the, just in their education, but in their lives,

00:11:30.880 you know, it, uh, is there someone who you're going to, who's going to say, Hey, why don't I take the

00:11:36.000 littles, um, for an afternoon so you can focus on the big kids. So, so it's very important. Then we look

00:11:43.100 at who are we as a family? What is our mission statement? Um, then we take a look at our resources or

00:11:49.200 the physical, uh, abilities that mom and dad have to actually teach the children. Um, and once we've

00:11:54.840 done that, we can take a look at our finances. So what is, what is it going to cost us to homeschool

00:11:59.480 our kids? Uh, how much money do we have to spend on it? The reality is homeschooling doesn't need to

00:12:04.700 cost that much. Uh, there there's, you know, if you send your kid to a private school, you're going

00:12:09.500 to be putting out thousands of dollars, um, to, to get that done. But that doesn't mean that if you're

00:12:15.060 going to homeschool, it's going to cost you thousands of dollars. It can actually cost very,

00:12:18.800 very little. So your finances can help you to determine what are you going to put your money

00:12:24.780 into? What's going to be important? Is it going to be maybe a couple of online classes? Uh, is it

00:12:29.180 going to be some in-person classes, but understand what, so take a look at your finances. Um,

00:12:35.420 if I could just add to that Hester financially too, if they're not in school, you don't have to worry

00:12:42.680 about having all the latest clothes. There's way less peer pressure. So now you're saving how many

00:12:48.740 hundreds of dollars per kid on the clothes that they need and the hair that they need and the this

00:12:53.820 and the, that, and the shoes and, and all the things. So there is actually saving money even that

00:12:59.960 way. Yes, exactly. And, and I'm glad you mentioned that about the clothing and the fashions, because,

00:13:06.020 um, again, going back, that kind of ties back into who we are as a family, because you are going to

00:13:11.420 set a tone and a culture within your own home. That's going to trickle down and affect all these

00:13:16.620 other things, who you are, how much time do you have? What are your physical abilities? What are

00:13:20.140 your finances? If you go through this once a year and you, you will find that you're going to, you're,

00:13:28.360 all these things are going to kind of become easier as you go, because your, your time is going to be

00:13:34.420 spent, um, together as a family and the experiences you have in the conversations you have are going

00:13:40.780 to be a kind of education. So you'll need kind of less time for the book work because maybe you'll

00:13:46.680 be spending more time with, with friends or co-ops or things like that. So, so initially you want to

00:13:52.020 put these things down on paper. You want to take a look at what are your abilities. And over time,

00:13:56.120 you'll see that shift so that your family's lifestyle becomes this beautiful culture, uh, that isn't even

00:14:03.600 necessarily like an education culture, but a culture that's, uh, your family is going to be a learning

00:14:08.200 family in an environment that is being created by you as, as parents who are intentionally putting

00:14:14.220 yourselves in certain circumstances and places to get an education for your children.

00:14:20.260 So that, that's kind of the, the top, the idea of top down, um, look at these major points. Um, and then,

00:14:26.880 and the fact could, because all of these things are going to actually determine what curriculum you use as

00:14:30.560 well, because if your finances are limited, well, then you're not going to be wanting to spend

00:14:36.160 hundreds of dollars on this lovely, shiny new curriculum that everybody's loving,

00:14:41.220 but you don't need to necessarily. Right. So, so every time you define a new one, a new term in

00:14:49.600 these categories, you're going to, the curriculum pool that's out there is going to get smaller and

00:14:53.680 smaller and smaller. And so it's going to be less overwhelming because you'll just be eliminating a

00:14:58.000 whole ton of different things that you're just not going to do. And that's okay. Um, we need to

00:15:05.100 recognize that God put us in this time and in this era and in this country. Um, and because he has a

00:15:14.680 purpose for us in these circumstances. So I am not going to likely ever be, um, a scientist that works

00:15:22.840 in, in Mexico. I'm not going to do that. So why would I try to push myself in that direction?

00:15:29.020 My children will likely not be that either. That's just not our circumstances or our talents or

00:15:34.480 anywhere that we, um, are going to go. So why would I push my children in that direction? That would be

00:15:39.920 a waste of our time, a waste of our finances, a waste of physical resources and hurting the relationship.

00:15:45.280 What we need to do is once we've assessed this about our family, then work with our strengths so that

00:15:52.060 we can become the best citizens, humans, Christians, godly people within our society that we've been

00:15:58.580 placed. So let's not try to become, let's not try to create people, children that belong to a certain

00:16:05.540 mold. And let's not try to push children into a certain career path because we think that would be

00:16:10.900 great for them. Let us, let's raise children and educate them for who God's created them to be.

00:16:18.400 Yes, I agree so much. So, and I noticed, um, so in the earliest years, we don't as parents yet know

00:16:27.080 what our strengths of the child are. And so I expose them to this and that and this and that,

00:16:32.060 and you find out over time that gets smaller because they really don't want to do this anymore.

00:16:36.800 Um, and now they want to do this. And usually around grade seven, grade six, seven, eight, depending on

00:16:43.120 their maturity and all that, they've really narrowed it down. Um, and then that's like, I'm talking about

00:16:49.160 more like the extracurricular, the stuff that's outside of the book work. But by then I also figured out the

00:16:53.900 book work. I'm going, okay, this is how they think. This is how they operate. This is, oh, look at

00:17:00.140 curriculum going, oh, she's going to die with this one. But my other one will go, oh, she'll love this

00:17:06.080 one. So that comes with just learning your child as well. And that having almost too much is

00:17:13.000 overwhelming for everybody. It's too, it's just too much. You got to, you got to narrow it in,

00:17:17.460 but it does take a little bit of time as a parent to go, hey, this is working and this is not. And if

00:17:23.000 it's not, it's okay. Get rid of it. You know, and if it's a subject you need to cover, there's another

00:17:28.880 tool and you're going to be good at helping people figure that part out. So as we move into, um, how to

00:17:35.720 adapt curriculum to meet the family's needs, let's talk about some of the strategies that make learning

00:17:41.460 at home easier to manage. We got things like consistency. Yeah. So consistency, consistency is really

00:17:52.000 important. Um, because children thrive on that. So if they know what's going to happen from day to

00:17:57.460 day, uh, they, they will be able to get up and do that thing. Um, but that consistency will also

00:18:03.500 help build routine. So I think like the foundational key to a happy, smooth home is routine, uh, not a

00:18:11.780 schedule per se, um, but a routine and a schedule. The difference between a schedule and a routine is,

00:18:18.020 um, a schedule can be, uh, tied to time. So if you have your schedule, you're just like, okay,

00:18:23.400 nine o'clock, we're at the desks, 11 o'clock, we're off to all the music, uh, lessons at noon,

00:18:29.060 we're going to be having lunch. So a schedule can be really, um, demanding and it can be the thing

00:18:34.540 that pushes a mother over the edge, a routine, not so much a routine can be where, okay, this is when

00:18:41.020 we, we, we get up generally around this time and then we do our, uh, uh, chores and our cleaner

00:18:47.660 rooms. And then we have breakfast. And then when that's all kind of settled, everybody kind of goes

00:18:51.360 in, sits down at their desks or, or we go to the living room and mom starts doing read-alouds,

00:18:55.640 whatever that may look like for your family. And that, that again, is one of those things that

00:18:59.840 initially you need to be intentional about it. Um, start your morning off well, plan your morning

00:19:05.920 well. Um, and the day, as the day goes on, it will likely fall, fall all to pieces. And by the

00:19:10.760 evening, you'll be wondering like whatever happened to routine, that's okay. That's actually part of

00:19:16.080 the routine that happens, but start your day off well, um, and allow the progress, the progression

00:19:23.000 of, of what your family needs and how they're going to go through the day to happen as, as it's

00:19:28.020 necessary. So sometimes, um, if, especially if like some of the kids don't fall asleep well in the

00:19:32.800 evenings and they're, they're up a little bit later, I find this, especially with my

00:19:36.480 boys, they'll, they'll fight bedtime and then they're not, they're not sleeping until like

00:19:41.640 10 o'clock. Well, my, I can't expect then that they're going to be up bright and early

00:19:45.840 at seven or seven 30. Sometimes they are. Um, but, but if they then sleep in a little bit,

00:19:50.680 I'm okay with that because that's actually going to make our day easier if I let them have

00:19:53.860 an extra hour of sleep in the morning. But when they get up, then we get back, then we get

00:19:58.140 into that routine and we get going, um, with all the things and they know what has to

00:20:02.120 happen. The routine is just detached from the clock. Um, but that that's not to say

00:20:08.340 we don't have a clock because obviously we do need to keep track of activities. So

00:20:12.600 extracurricular activities, that's probably one thing that we'll, anybody who has had

00:20:18.340 multiple children in extracurricular activities will find is it is so demanding and it's, it

00:20:23.540 gets to be really exhausting for parents. Like you just like your bus driver, just bringing

00:20:26.820 all these kids all over the place all the time. So again, don't, then don't do too many

00:20:31.920 extracurricular activities. Um, with, with our family, I have each child in one extracurricular

00:20:36.920 and, and then they have to do piano, pianos or music is just mandatory. So that helps

00:20:42.680 us keep that, you know, bus, busing kids around to a minimum. Um, and they have to of course

00:20:49.660 be at those places at certain times, but then we can allow that to be a part of the routine

00:20:54.520 as well. So routine is extremely important. Um, another thing to, to work on. And I know

00:21:01.240 I saw that you, Doris, you did a webinar on this already, which is probably something that

00:21:04.920 should be, that would like, I want to go check it out because I think an important thing is

00:21:08.500 when you have multiple children, teach as many courses as you can to all of them at the same

00:21:14.420 time, simultaneous. It's a one room schoolhouse style. Uh, and that may make you feel nervous

00:21:21.620 because, well, you've got a 12 year old and a six year old and how do you teach to all

00:21:25.600 of them? Well, the key to that one is always teach to the oldest child because they need

00:21:32.600 that information. They crave that knowledge, but the six year old listening in or sitting

00:21:37.900 there will pick up what they can. So if I'm teaching, uh, if I'm working through an astronomy

00:21:43.100 class with my oldest and we're going on about, you know, molecular structure and the chemical

00:21:48.760 reactions on some of the planets, the little guy's going to zone out. But what he catches

00:21:54.220 is that there are planets and they are in this order and these are their names and they are

00:21:59.120 different than the earth. So he's, he's getting this whole understanding of astronomy. Um, and

00:22:03.920 I don't have to teach him a class just to, just to him. So don't be nervous about teaching

00:22:09.840 one subject to all of your children simultaneously. Just make sure that you teach to the oldest

00:22:15.160 child. Um, can I just throw a story in there when my second was, um, ready? Well, according

00:22:24.160 to the school calendar, ready to start school, I got my books out. Okay. A says, ah, B says,

00:22:30.660 but, and, you know, going through that and my youngest was a toddler while three years old

00:22:36.500 or so. And, and so mommy, can I, can I do that too? And I went, Oh, I'm so tired already.

00:22:42.780 You know, I was just still new at homeschooling and I just gave her coloring sheets to color.

00:22:47.480 But every day she heard me say, A says, ah, B says, but, you know, all down the alphabet.

00:22:54.480 So when it was her turn for me to like, okay, now I'm going to teach you the letters. She knew them

00:22:59.520 all. She heard it over and over and over. I didn't have to teach her to read. She just figured it out

00:23:05.060 by hanging out. So that made life a lot easier. That's when I really caught on to, oh yeah, teach

00:23:11.980 to the oldest, let everybody in the room hear what's going on because they're learning from each

00:23:16.960 other. Absolutely. Absolutely. It's arguably the most difficult to teach the oldest child.

00:23:23.680 And it always will be for a number of reasons. But, um, the little, the, the kids in the room that

00:23:29.580 are listening, um, they're getting an education. Kids want to learn. They just have a natural, uh,

00:23:35.620 inclination to learn. I think that the way they, the school system puts them into such large classes

00:23:43.100 with so few adults has killed that joy in a lot of children. Um, by the time they are teenagers,

00:23:49.720 they're just surviving, but that's unnatural, right? So to have this idea of like rebellious teenagers

00:23:56.560 who don't want to get up in the morning and do their school, that's unnatural. We should not

00:24:00.760 allow that idea to be normalized in our lives or, or even in our homes. Um, my daughter just turned 13

00:24:08.480 and she said to me, mom, I don't want to be that teenager. You know, they say that I'm going to be

00:24:13.980 messy and I'm not going to want to do my school and I'm going to be rebellious against you. She's

00:24:17.420 like, I don't want to be that teenager. And I could truthfully say, I don't think you're going to be

00:24:21.780 that teenager because that's not normal. We're not, we're not in an environment where we try to

00:24:27.160 kill all the joy we possibly can. Um, we try to foster that as parents, um, as much, and, and,

00:24:33.200 and I guess that kind of brings me to another strategy to, uh, to, to keeping the, um, home smooth

00:24:39.840 and harmonious and education going well is there's nothing wrong with allowing your child to study

00:24:46.220 something that they're interested in at the expense of something else. So for example, um,

00:24:53.280 uh, history, I have a daughter who loves history. So pursuing, um, re that, that path, that education

00:25:00.360 path of history is important to let her just, just pursue that. She's learning so, so much. On the

00:25:05.760 other hand, she's not really great at math. She doesn't love math. You know, there's math fundamentals

00:25:10.400 that she has to learn. Absolutely. But I can't see that I'm going to push her to get into the upper

00:25:15.940 levels of, um, of, uh, algebra and calculus and quantum physics. I'm just not going to do that

00:25:22.260 because she, she doesn't have a natural, um, ability to go there. Um, so, and especially with

00:25:29.600 the younger kids too, I have a son who loves birds. He just, everything birds. And, and to some degree

00:25:35.020 nature, we go out on, we go for walks and he's the one who's constantly like, Oh, everybody stopped.

00:25:39.540 And we stop. And there's like, he he's, there's a squirrel and he'll go find the squirrel. And he,

00:25:44.240 he just has this kind of relationship with nature. I don't know what this is, but,

00:25:48.360 but then let them, let them pursue that. Because again, that goes back to who are we? Um,

00:25:55.820 we have to cultivate our own talents and our own abilities and our own interests. That's how we're

00:26:00.760 going to be the most successful, but to push a child into a direction because the government says

00:26:06.780 you have to, or because I think people around us would feel better if they knew you were doing this,

00:26:11.760 that that's harmful to a child. So don't worry about, don't worry about what's expected from you

00:26:19.060 outside of your home, other than of course, um, your church and your, um, your, uh, your faith that

00:26:26.460 that's fundamental. Um, but, but when it comes to your, you know, government requirements or what you

00:26:36.100 might think somebody is thinking about you, just, you got to let it go. And those are things in our,

00:26:39.600 in our own heads that I think we have to work on, um, undoing mostly because we grew up,

00:26:44.980 particularly if, um, you went to school or you were in that kind of an environment of education,

00:26:52.080 you go to school, you go to college, you get a career. That's the, that's the mold in our heads

00:26:57.520 that we have to break because that's not necessarily how it is anymore. Education is changing so fast,

00:27:02.340 so fast. Um, and then, uh, yeah, just one more thing on, um, like a strategy or technique is,

00:27:10.620 uh, something that I call the morning basket. Um, others call it circle time or, you know,

00:27:17.660 there's various, uh, things to call it. Um, but what that is, is, uh, as a parent,

00:27:23.340 you put together a collection of, of things. Usually it focuses on the humanities,

00:27:29.480 uh, because that's something that falls through the cracks so easily. You know, you

00:27:33.200 may teach your kids to read, make sure you do your math, you know, do your science textbook,

00:27:38.060 all this stuff. But what about art appreciation? What about music appreciation? Or what about just

00:27:43.960 good literature or fairy tales? When do we get time to do those things? What about poetry?

00:27:48.800 Right. Um, those are actually fundamental to a child's development and to an understanding of the

00:27:55.520 world. And then, and later on in life, they will be drawing from some of those, um, parts of their

00:28:01.040 education. So, so that's what we can, so the way we can teach those things is what I call the morning

00:28:06.580 basket. And again, these are things you teach that are completely unrelated to age. Okay. Um,

00:28:14.280 what, what I started with, and you can be very, very simple, start with, uh, get a notebook. You can go

00:28:21.520 online and you can find schedules and you can find plant home morning time baskets to your heart's

00:28:25.960 content. They can be very complicated. And again, if you start with a schedule that says, here's 20

00:28:31.720 things to put in your morning basket, you're not going to do it. You're going to get burnt out. So

00:28:34.900 start very simply with a notebook and put four things on there that you want to do. Um, and of

00:28:41.380 course I started with prayer and I like, that's where you teach your children to pray. Cause prayer

00:28:46.700 prayer doesn't like, especially for children. It's like, Oh my, I hurt my toe or I want this

00:28:51.740 or I want, well, how about when it comes time to teaching prayer? Um, we, I would always make

00:28:56.960 it a requirement that each child had to request prayer for someone that they knew or something

00:29:01.540 that was going on. So they had to think outside of themselves for prayer. So you just start off

00:29:05.640 with morning time. We're going to do prayer. Um, we can sing a hymn. I like, I think songs are

00:29:11.160 important. So either folk songs or hymns or something like that. Maybe you just want to eliminate

00:29:14.400 that part, but whatever you want to put in there, whatever's important to you, uh, in,

00:29:18.680 in studying the humanities, you put in your notebook. Um, and we did Bible, uh, memory work

00:29:23.480 in that, uh, for the, for the, for my first time I did, this was like seven years ago. Um,

00:29:29.760 and then I had poetry. We had to read a poem and we just started with that every day. Um, and then

00:29:34.920 as we got, it doesn't have to take long. It can take 15 minutes. Um, but the idea is gather everyone

00:29:40.380 around and just go over this, pray together, recite your Bible memory verse. Um, and then,

00:29:46.160 um, read through a poem that when you're good at that, you can add in art, art appreciation.

00:29:51.980 So there's various different, um, programs are just, you can go online and say, Hey, we're

00:29:55.860 going to study this artist. And you pick up a piece of art from this printed piece of art,

00:29:59.140 put in your morning basket. And you don't need to be an, uh, you know, an art connoisseur or

00:30:04.080 knowledgeable in this area at all. You literally show them the artwork, talk about it together.

00:30:09.440 If you have a kind of a guide to go with it, that can be helpful, but you don't have to

00:30:13.300 children see things, uh, because they're so innocent because they're so new to this world

00:30:20.720 and they haven't had, um, cynicism affect them yet. Um, and so when you show them a beautiful

00:30:26.620 piece of art, something like Michelangelo, uh, the things they see are phenomenal. It's just

00:30:32.260 gorgeous. Um, we did a study. I usually try to do from the ancients to the moderns in one

00:30:38.140 year. And what the kids noticed early on was that the ancients, um, toward the middle ages had a

00:30:46.360 lot of, they had spiritual paintings. So they portrayed a lot of, uh, the angels and they

00:30:52.400 portrayed, um, like Mary and Jesus. And, um, even, even some of the medieval painters, they would do a

00:30:58.980 scene, um, like just a scene of the shepherds or some, something happening here on, on earth.

00:31:05.720 But then in the corners of the painting, they had the little angels looking in. Um, and, and that

00:31:11.600 what the kids noticed is that as the paintings become more sort of earthly minded, if you will,

00:31:17.720 the, the heavenly beings disappear. And then even Turner, you look at Turner and it's, there's nothing

00:31:25.020 spiritual there at all. Now he's, it's beautiful, but the children notice like we're, they we've lost

00:31:31.560 sight of this constant idea that, that, that God is watching, that the angels are with us. There's a

00:31:36.280 spiritual world here and now and active, and it is nearby us, but we've lost that. And you can see

00:31:41.580 that as you progress through art. So that's just one of the little things that we came up, uh, that we,

00:31:46.900 we, that came out of art appreciation for us. And there's so many things that you just, just put it

00:31:50.960 in front of your children. So you can add art appreciation, um, to the morning basket and then music.

00:31:56.260 The idea of a morning basket is just be very intentional about what you want to study with

00:32:00.820 your children. Um, and then what, once you have say too much, so you got, I usually put in a

00:32:09.080 literature of that, a book of literature that I want to read with them. Um, and then a historical

00:32:14.100 fiction. And then there's like science, uh, read alouds that you can read like story of Florence

00:32:18.700 Nightingale or story of, we just got a book in the bookstore called the chemical history of a candle.

00:32:23.420 It's fantastic. It's just a chapter book to read aloud. Um, so something like that,

00:32:27.940 I would put that in my basket as, as to cover science. And when it becomes too much, then what

00:32:34.340 I do is, and I got this idea from Sarah McKenzie. She writes about this book and this in her book,

00:32:38.980 teaching from rest. Um, you start doing a loop schedule. So for the first few things that are

00:32:46.560 really important, you keep that constant. So you're always going to do prayer. You're always going to

00:32:50.920 sing your hymn. You're always going to do Bible recitation. You're always going to read a poem

00:32:54.600 always every day. But then after that, you can take art and all the books you want to read

00:33:00.500 and just touch on whatever one you can as, um, per day. So we do art. We start with art. We got

00:33:06.620 through that. We'll read a chapter of our history book and that's it. We've run out of time. It's

00:33:10.900 been half an hour, 45 minutes. The kids are antsy. We can't, we just can't focus. So everybody just

00:33:14.720 go. Then the next day you don't pick up back with art or history. Cause you did those the day

00:33:19.220 before you start with your next year. Science read aloud. You get through science and then you

00:33:22.800 go through, um, the literature. If you have, and then that's all you can do, then you end that for

00:33:27.620 the day. Then the next day you pick up again at your art. So you've got art, um, art, history,

00:33:33.080 literature, science, and you just touch on whichever one you just pick up the next day where you left off

00:33:37.960 the day before and you just keep going round and round like that. And that way you will get through

00:33:42.120 all of that material over a certain period of time. And this is where, again, it ties to routines and not

00:33:46.780 schedules. Um, you'll get through that material and you won't have science constantly neglected

00:33:51.800 because you, you're going through art, history. Oh, ran out of time. Next day, art, history,

00:33:56.120 literature. Oh, we just didn't get to science. Okay. Next day, art, history, science, or literature

00:34:00.000 still didn't get to science, right? So you, you, by doing a loop schedule and you can do loop schedules

00:34:04.700 for an infinite amount of things. You capture absolutely everything, uh, but not necessarily on the

00:34:11.880 same day or even in the same week, uh, but it gets done. Yeah. And you know, that is something I learned

00:34:18.880 from my own trial and error was that loop schedule. Um, I just wanted to speak to the parents who may

00:34:25.080 have a child who is easily distracted and constantly standing up and moving around and walking. And, um,

00:34:34.160 so it is an age thing. It is a maturity thing. And so what I was encouraged to do was to test the child

00:34:42.140 comprehension after the story was done and she nailed it. So she would have been twirling around

00:34:49.680 the living room in a dress through the whole story. The older one was older already and a little more

00:34:55.200 settled and would sit, but the second one nailed it. And I went, okay, she's got it. That's okay.

00:35:01.280 And you know what? A year later, she was nestled on the other side of my shoulder and sitting too.

00:35:08.600 So it's not so much like sit still, sit still and be a good kid. It's no, you getting out of it and

00:35:15.540 give them the time and the grace. It'll all come in its own time. That's right. And that's again,

00:35:22.580 where teaching to the oldest applies to like when you're teaching the, to the oldest, the younger ones

00:35:29.300 pick up what they will pick up, but the oldest will pick up what they will pick up too. So you,

00:35:33.220 you can't possibly say, I'm going to read you this book and then you're going to tell it back to me

00:35:37.140 verbatim. That's not fair. That's not fair to the child. Um, so, so we're going to lay out a feast

00:35:42.780 before them, if you will, and they will eat what they eat. Um, but we're going to make sure it's highly

00:35:47.440 nutritious. And so what they eat or what they take is going to be very important and effective for them

00:35:52.480 later on. Um, but yet to that, um, wiggly child syndrome thing that I, that you, you totally got

00:36:00.320 on, you were totally onto something there because, um, I think it's important to never tell a child

00:36:06.840 to sit still and listen to me, read this book to you. Um, that, that actually can be counterproductive

00:36:14.920 because some kids listen better when they're moving or when they're going, when something is

00:36:18.880 happening. But when you say, no, you must sit there and listen, they'll be working so hard at

00:36:23.740 keeping their body still that they won't actually be able to listen to a single word that you're

00:36:27.560 reading. So, um, so the, so let them, let them wiggle, let them play. In fact, um, there, I think

00:36:34.720 there are studies that have been done that show that you need to have both sides of your brain, um,

00:36:39.820 working in order to be able to focus and concentrate. So I actually have my kids do something with their

00:36:45.700 hands when I do morning time, either color they had, they can color or they can play quietly with

00:36:50.820 Lego or they can knit something or they can crochet or cross stitch. And then you get some of that

00:36:56.100 handwork, um, study done as well. But I, you must have very few children can actually just sit and

00:37:03.400 listen. Very few. And like, as an adult, I still can't sit and listen. I have to do something with my

00:37:07.680 hands. Yeah. Thank you for clarifying that. Um, let's go a little bit into, um, this expectation

00:37:18.360 we put as parents on ourselves and we've kind of passed that on to our kids too, about we need to

00:37:24.760 get them reading and we need to get them writing. And what do you mean you can't write more than a

00:37:29.040 sentence and all this pressure. Um, so there's different parts of, um, the language arts scene where

00:37:36.420 there's narration, dictation, vocabulary, um, how do we get them to do that stuff without, uh, burning

00:37:44.720 them out and, or, or even the boredom sometimes that might come with that. Yeah. Like mom, I did

00:37:52.300 this yesterday. Why do I have to do it again? You know, like that kind of stuff. Right. Yeah. But the

00:37:57.860 repetition. Yeah. Um, okay. I'll just start off with like a, a real zinger. I hate the term language

00:38:06.980 arts. Um, it doesn't make sense that we would put so much on a child so early. Um, and I learned a lot

00:38:19.240 of this from Andrew Pudowa from the, he's with the Institute for Excellence in Writing. And he does a lot

00:38:24.780 of work and study on how to teach the, the arts of language, right? That's a, I think a much better

00:38:32.380 term, the arts of language to a child. Um, there's a progression that has to happen and it goes along

00:38:40.380 with the child's development. Um, so if we pull back and we stop trying to teach them reading, spelling,

00:38:50.300 writing, writing, composition all at once, we will actually be far more effective. Uh, and I did a talk

00:38:58.200 on my, um, YouTube channel about this, um, the arts of language and I, the, the, the problem. Yeah. So if we

00:39:08.120 first pull off that huge expectation, they have to do everything. We have to start from there. Um, then we have

00:39:14.360 to understand the progression of a child's development and how we can teach them to use

00:39:20.620 language as they develop. And it starts with listening. A child, a baby is actually learning

00:39:28.120 to listen. And once they understand your words and they've listened to you speaking a few times,

00:39:33.780 and you know that they understand, cause you say, don't do that. And they look at you out of the side

00:39:38.040 of their little eyes and they do it anyway. You know that they are learning to listen and they've,

00:39:44.100 they've conquered it to some extent and now they have to put that obedience behind it. They have

00:39:47.980 to, but listening is the first thing. The next thing they have to, they will do it, learn is

00:39:53.200 speaking, right? They will learn how to use words properly and you will correct them as they learn,

00:40:02.300 as they speak incorrectly and as they use the wrong word order. Um, and that's, that's all good.

00:40:07.340 That's appropriate. That's necessary. Um, the next thing that they will want to do is read.

00:40:11.740 That's the next progression. Now you've taught them how to listen. You've taught them how to speak.

00:40:20.840 So wouldn't it naturally flow that you could teach them how to read? And I'm just like doing a plug

00:40:25.200 for homeschooling here, just in case you feel like, you know, you're not confident enough, but you can,

00:40:29.040 you can teach them. You've done all this stuff. Now it's time to teach them how to read.

00:40:32.720 It's not time to teach them to do writing composition or spelling or, uh, comprehension.

00:40:38.480 It's not time for that. It's only time to teach them how to read and tied into that is how to,

00:40:44.620 how to, um, shape letters. And so this is where copy book would come in, but not again, not writing

00:40:50.880 comprehension and not, um, not writing composition or reading comprehension. You're just going to teach

00:40:57.720 them how to read and how to shape letters. And that can have, that can go for several years that can

00:41:03.320 go anywhere from like age four to age nine that they're learning how to read. And they're learning

00:41:07.940 how to shape letters. Copy book is actually vitally important because they're just, they're going to

00:41:12.480 copy out words and phrases and sentences and anything you put in front of them. That can be very powerful

00:41:18.660 also to memory. Cause if you have them copying up passages of scripture or poetry or, uh,

00:41:24.120 you know, segments from books, whatever it is, you want them to copy out the, what's happening

00:41:29.100 is they're learning how to, um, as Andrew just explains it so nicely. Um, they're learning how

00:41:35.980 to hold a writing utensil. Cause you think about this, those little hands, it's got my, my little

00:41:40.140 guy, he was doing copy book yesterday and he did two pages and he was just like, oh, my hand,

00:41:43.960 my hand hurts. You think about that. Um, these little hands are learning how to hold that,

00:41:50.600 that utensil and building the muscle to, to write those letters. That's an important part

00:41:55.340 of the, the first stages of learning to read and write. It's actually like a muscle structure in

00:42:03.080 your hand. Um, so copy book book is helping with that. Copy book is copy work is helping with

00:42:08.140 shaping letters and writing neatly and possibly moving into cursive. I think cursive is really

00:42:12.300 important. It's artistic. Also as a side note, you can't, if you have a dyslexic child,

00:42:17.140 they should be learning cursive as soon as possible. Cause you can't possibly write a

00:42:21.200 backwards D if you're doing cursive or B for that matter. It's, it's, it has to go the way it has

00:42:27.480 to go. So cursive is a really important, um, skill. So after the reading and the, uh, copy work

00:42:36.520 and the, and the reading aloud, reading aloud, reading aloud, you're filling their brains and

00:42:40.660 their little minds with words, with phrases, with beauty. Absolutely. You're, you're, you're filling

00:42:46.500 up their minds. You're, you're giving them, um, something to think on when they're playing or

00:42:53.100 when they're out with their friends. So, so let that happen. Let that take the time it needs to

00:42:59.720 take. And if that means they're nine or 10 years old and they're just finally fluently reading,

00:43:04.100 um, and writing neatly, that's great. Then writing composition is actually the last thing,

00:43:09.720 the last part of the process. So I don't think writing composition should even begin until ages nine or

00:43:15.920 10, maybe even 11. And so just to clarify by writing composition, I mean, a formal program

00:43:23.560 that teaches them, uh, grammar structure of writing, that sort of thing. So if you have a

00:43:28.380 little girl, cause girls tend to be the ones who like to write and she grabs her notebook and she's

00:43:32.900 writing all the stories and all the phrases, go for it, just go for it. That's her imagination

00:43:36.800 processing all those beautiful things you're pouring in. But what you don't want to do is say to her,

00:43:41.100 oh, honey, you spelled this word wrong and you have to correct that. And oh, this phrase doesn't

00:43:45.000 really don't do that when they're six and seven years old. And those words are spilling on the

00:43:48.380 page. Just let it go. Let them work their imagination. We start doing formal writing

00:43:56.560 composition when they're about nine or 10 years old, when they have all these ideas in their head.

00:44:01.360 Now they're developmentally capable to start taking on some of that structure. At this point,

00:44:08.240 now they're able to learn how to use language in such a way where they'll be able to write well

00:44:12.420 and communicate well. I'm just looking at some of my notes here. And Charlotte Mason was quite

00:44:24.000 influential in my life in the early years. I'm so grateful her educational approach. It helped me

00:44:30.720 relax and it touches a lot about what you've just mentioned. I got so fixated on the curriculum that,

00:44:38.640 oh my goodness, we have to like, finish all the pages. And what it does is it makes the parent feel

00:44:43.720 good. But it doesn't mean the child retained a thing. And so for me, learning is also retaining and

00:44:51.740 remembering. It's not just filling in the boxes and checking off the lines and all that. So have you

00:44:58.460 got any books that you recommend? Like Charlotte Mason or like with Andrew Pideva's approach?

00:45:07.660 Yeah. So the one book that I read very early on, that was very influential into in what I do is

00:45:16.080 this one here is called For the Children's Sake. I think it's probably backwards on your screen there.

00:45:21.820 It's called For the Children's Sake. And it's by Susan Schaefer-McCully. And she summarizes to a large

00:45:31.340 degree, a lot of the Charlotte Mason principles and explains a lot of this in much, much more eloquence

00:45:38.000 than I am. But it's I think it's probably the number one book to read as you begin your homeschooling

00:45:44.320 journey to understand how do I properly teach this and educate this child. And I shouldn't use

00:45:53.400 the word teach necessarily because education is not taught all the times. Education is often just

00:45:58.860 absorbed based on the environment that we're in. So how do I give this child a proper education

00:46:06.360 education? And in in, in all aspects of their life. So in every area that they go, they're going

00:46:12.860 to be educated. How do we do that? So For the Children's Sake is probably one of the best books on

00:46:18.560 that. That actually triggers a memory. I did read that book a long time ago. For a long time. Yeah.

00:46:27.080 Let's talk a little bit about a couple of things here. The concept of time, you have a phrase,

00:46:33.320 little minds, little times, and using a timer, especially I mean, I used it even with the older

00:46:41.260 kids. I mean, this is kind of funny. But when all the kids came over and wanted to use the trampoline

00:46:46.540 in the backyard. It wasn't fair until we had a timer. And I just took the timer and took it outside

00:46:54.500 and they said it everybody got like four minutes and then it worked like a charm. So there is something

00:46:59.640 to be said about timers. And then I started using it more in the schoolwork as well. So tell me about

00:47:05.160 your experience with that. Timers. Yeah, timers are timers are really important for a number of

00:47:10.260 reasons. So little people do not often have a concept of time. So they they'll when it's their

00:47:20.240 turn to do something, they'll be doing it if they like it, they'll be doing it for hours at a time.

00:47:25.220 And if you say, okay, you have to be finished with that. Now your sibling has to play with this.

00:47:29.360 Well, then the house roof blew off the house, because how dare you? That was my thing. I have

00:47:33.780 I had that in mind turns it not over. That's okay, because little minds don't understand the concept

00:47:40.200 of time yet. And so this is where a timer can come in really, really handy, where you're saying,

00:47:44.880 okay, you've got five minutes, see, look, and when this is done, then it's times up. And then I'm

00:47:48.540 going to give her five minutes, and then we'll go back and forth like that. So that can be one of the

00:47:53.320 ways to deal with potential conflict or to help them understand this concept of time and taking

00:47:59.220 turns. Another thing that is very helpful, too, is we, you know, I'm talking a lot about, you know,

00:48:06.540 look, seeing the child and teaching to the child and understanding the child and letting them pursue

00:48:10.240 their interests. Now, I don't want to, I don't want to come across as it's all about the child,

00:48:15.080 whatever the child wants to do, you just let them do what they do. That's not exactly the whole story,

00:48:19.880 because the other part of the story is, while they're learning, while they're pursuing their

00:48:24.420 interests, and while we are allowing them to flourish within the confines that God created

00:48:33.500 them to be, we're also teaching them where the limitations are and where they, I guess the word

00:48:41.840 I like to use is grit. So we have to, we do have to help them when tough times come, or when

00:48:49.360 something has to be done that they just don't want to do. For example, a lesson of math. I don't know

00:48:57.480 why, but it seems like this is like universally the truth. It, and possibly it's the repetition,

00:49:04.140 but math can only be learned by doing it over and over and over. And so you have it, you get to the

00:49:09.520 point where your child is like, I'm just, I can't do this. I don't want to do this. And they're sitting

00:49:14.060 at their desk and they've been there for like a long time. Just like, I don't want to finish this

00:49:17.800 lesson. And as the parent, you're going, but you have to, because you have finished the lesson and

00:49:22.940 isn't, there's nothing wrong. It's not that the child doesn't understand or anything. It's just that

00:49:26.320 they have to really just learn to sit down and do this thing that they don't want to do.

00:49:31.780 Um, so a timer in that case can be really helpful because you could, you could put a timer down and

00:49:40.120 say, listen, I'm going to give you, you're going to take the next 15 minutes and you're going to sit

00:49:44.580 at your desk and you're really going to focus and do your math. It's only 15 minutes. So put this

00:49:49.700 timer over here. And when that goes off, you can be done. So this is a way of showing them that,

00:49:55.240 um, there's a, there is going to be an end to this trial. There's absolutely going to be an end,

00:50:00.800 but you still have to go through it. I'm not going to let you off the hook. So here's 15 minutes. And

00:50:06.820 so at that point, it's not necessarily about getting the work done either. It's not about

00:50:10.560 getting the lesson done at that point. It's about training them to do something that they don't want

00:50:14.580 to do. And that's where a timer can help. Um, having said that a timer can also actually backfire

00:50:21.760 because certain kids, they don't have a concept of time, but once you show them time, they panic

00:50:27.160 because they don't know how in the world I'm going to get all this done in that amount of time,

00:50:32.900 there's just not possible. And so you've actually, um, created a scenario now where you're struggling,

00:50:39.460 your relationship is going to be compromised with your child because you're imposing something on

00:50:42.880 them that they can't cope with. And so in that case, uh, don't use a timer. Um, but then you use

00:50:48.760 some other kind of incentives, like you need to do this. You need to do, um, you need to, uh, get

00:50:55.120 dressed, put your clothes in the laundry, make your bed and come down for breakfast. As soon as that's

00:51:00.160 done, then I'll have this treat for your breakfast, or I'll have this or that for you so that they can

00:51:07.120 learn to, um, they can learn to persist and to get the task done. But because they, because time works

00:51:17.840 against them, um, they would, um, you would need to use treats or rewards to help that child. Um, so

00:51:25.140 there, so there's, there's different ways that you would want to work with a timer, but it doesn't work

00:51:31.040 universally. Yeah. I'm glad you also brought up the fact about motivators. Um, we do know what

00:51:39.660 motivates our kids and they can be used as useful tools as needed as well to get some of those must

00:51:47.520 do's done. Um, yeah, no, that's really good. I like to say, um, learn your child's currency.

00:51:56.760 So what is it that your child needs to get motivated or to get through a tough time? Uh, we have to,

00:52:05.560 we ultimately, we have to prepare our children for the hard time that they're going to face. Cause

00:52:10.480 it's going to happen. Every one of us faces something tough. So what, what's going to,

00:52:14.920 what's going to happen to you? What is your character? Cause that's when it's going to come

00:52:18.460 out is when you have to do something tough. Uh, so as parents, we can walk beside them and we can

00:52:24.140 guide them. And as we learn their currency and we teach them how they respond and how they react

00:52:29.040 and what they need, they will learn as they grow into adults to be self-regulated and to understand,

00:52:35.240 um, how they need to conduct themselves given a situation.

00:52:38.820 Yes. Let's talk about, um, a child's emotional tank. Yeah. We as adults have emotional tanks.

00:52:49.180 And at the end of a work day, we need to, uh, we don't either, we either don't want to talk to

00:52:55.440 anybody on the phone. When we come home, we want silence or we want to treat ourselves or whatever

00:53:00.780 children too. They too have emotional tanks. And how does it affect their schoolwork? And

00:53:07.240 does it apply to the older kids as well? Yeah, absolutely. It applies. I think it applies

00:53:12.720 more to the older kids than to the younger ones. As I'm heading into teenage years, um,

00:53:16.580 with my kids, uh, I think with the little ones, it's somewhat easier to parent because, you know,

00:53:25.080 you can, you can pick them up. You can pick up this distraught child crying and all the world's

00:53:30.340 falling apart. You can pick that child up and you can give that child a big hug and you can say,

00:53:33.760 everything's going to be okay. Mommy's here and they calm down and you know, that you just hug it

00:53:37.680 out and then they'll, they'll go off and they'll be fine. Um, that doesn't always work with teenagers,

00:53:42.400 especially, um, uh, yeah, as their problems get bigger. But I would say that, um, we need to,

00:53:51.240 in the little years, understand that a little person's problems are little, but that doesn't mean

00:53:58.480 that they're incredibly important to that little person. And so they're having an emotional trauma

00:54:04.580 over a sibling just came in and stomped their Lego house and we're going, Oh, come on. Just don't

00:54:11.400 like, yeah, that she shouldn't have done that, but like, just build another one or what, you know,

00:54:15.920 figure it out. And, you know, as a parent, you're, it's like, I got so much going on over here. I can't

00:54:20.960 deal with your stomped on Lego house, but that's actually really harmful because that little problem

00:54:27.400 to that little person was huge. It was a big deal. And so we need to address that for that little

00:54:33.220 person. We need to address that emotional trauma for them because if we don't address their little

00:54:38.660 things, which are actually big things to them, then when they become teenagers and they have a

00:54:45.780 problem, that's really an issue. And they have this huge emotional outburst about a problem. That's

00:54:51.660 now actually for us as parents, it's actually a problem, right? Because they're teenagers. Um,

00:54:56.660 we don't have that. We won't have that relationship with them at that point for them to come to us

00:55:02.060 with their problem. Because when they were a little person and they had a problem, we said,

00:55:06.400 it's not that big a deal. And so they figured out how to deal with it without us as parents.

00:55:10.200 Now they're teenagers, they have a problem and all they can hear is it's not that big a deal. And so

00:55:15.260 they're not going to come to us. So little people, little problems are big deals. And we have to

00:55:21.160 address that emotionally. And again, each child is going to have a different, um, way of coping with

00:55:28.800 it. But one thing that's quite universal is they need attention and support from parents. So you may

00:55:36.740 not even be able to solve a little person's problem, but what you can do is give them a hug and listen to

00:55:42.520 them and let them talk it out and cry and just, just have it out at you. Um, they it's, it's like,

00:55:51.600 it's like this, the storm and the waves are crashing and they need somewhere to crash, to break and to be

00:55:56.500 done. And you are that wall that they can crash on. Um, I talked about, um, this in one of my talks and

00:56:02.980 I, I learned a lot of this from, um, Gordon Neufeld. He's a child psychologist in here, actually in

00:56:08.800 Vancouver, and he's done so much work on understanding children's emotions. Um, one of the

00:56:14.000 things he talks about too, is, is this idea of futility. And when a little person has a problem,

00:56:20.440 it's not actually a problem, but they, it's, it's still something that needs to be addressed.

00:56:24.980 We actually need to allow them sometimes to experience the inability to resolve the problem.

00:56:31.360 They have to experience that because when you're a teenager or when you're an adult,

00:56:37.420 this is going to happen, problems are going to come at us that we cannot solve, that we cannot

00:56:42.400 cope with, that we, we can't resolve, we can't resolve the issue. So what has to happen?

00:56:46.880 Well, it's okay to cry. Um, I think Gordon Neufeld calls him tears of futility. So sometimes

00:56:52.240 you'll see this come up in a child's eyes and they'll just, they'll start crying and they'll be

00:56:55.760 like, well, it's okay, mom. You know, I, I know we can't fix it. And, um, I'm sure I'll build

00:57:03.160 another one and you have to let them cry and experience that relief or that allowing it to

00:57:09.220 come out that futility of it's problem. It can't be fixed, but I'm not going to die. Nothing's bad's

00:57:15.360 going to happen to me. Everything will be fine. Um, cause if we teach our children, this, that's

00:57:21.080 an emotionally healthy thing for them to experience. Um, and, and it like the, the most important book

00:57:28.680 I've read on that is it's called hold on to your kids. Um, this one here, hold on to your kids by

00:57:34.340 Gordon Neufeld again, but this one talks about the importance of parents in a child's life.

00:57:39.440 And especially in this day and age and in this culture, that emotional support to a child is

00:57:45.200 going to be the thing that makes them successful. Um, and they're finding this out in the States.

00:57:50.180 They've done a few studies on some of these kids who were homeschooled. Um, and they, you know,

00:57:54.580 I'm sure we've heard of them. They, they're homeschooled and they graduate at 15.

00:57:58.360 And then they've got their double PhDs at 18 and they become, you know, these super smart

00:58:03.280 people. And then you take a look at the parents and the parents are just, you know, suburban

00:58:07.900 blue collar. So the question is like, how did you get such smart kids? Well, the answer

00:58:13.700 is that it's not necessarily that the kids were so smart, but the kids had the emotional support

00:58:20.340 of their parents so that they could handle anything. They could face anything knowing that

00:58:25.500 they could always go home to mom and dad and they could express what they had to express.

00:58:29.700 And they could experience that feeling of futility when things didn't work out, or they could see

00:58:34.400 their parents being so proud of them. So, so the most important thing you can do as a homeschool

00:58:39.320 parent is be that emotional support for your child, not solve their problems, right? Don't solve

00:58:45.420 all their problems. Just be there so that those waves can crash on you as the wall that breaks

00:58:50.420 them. So good. It also just general parenting, you know, whether you're homeschooled or not,

00:59:00.640 these are really great tips for parents right through to teenagers. Let's talk a little bit

00:59:07.580 about more about character formation. Sometimes we get so caught up in curriculum. And I know when

00:59:15.140 we start, that's probably our biggest worry is the curriculum, curriculum, curriculum.

00:59:21.020 And it was mine. I'll be honest. When I first started, I was going to determine to have these

00:59:26.140 super smart kids and they were all going to be amazing and turn out and be these,

00:59:31.100 those PhDs you were talking about. But over time, and probably about four years in, I started to realize,

00:59:38.900 no, it's about character, character formation. Curriculum is a tool for learning and pursuing

00:59:47.280 and getting and reaching their goals. And they're all uniquely individually created and they all choose

00:59:53.440 their own path later in life. But what is the stuff that sustains them, like you said, to get to the,

01:00:01.320 the PhD and some other people, it's just fulfilling a goal or a dream. And so a lot of the things that

01:00:10.160 come to mind are like study habits, manners, and setting goals. Let's talk about that stuff.

01:00:16.960 Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's think about this. No one ever says, I want to raise a child who,

01:00:26.800 you know, I want to raise a child who works for a plumber nine to five and is the most contented

01:00:36.040 person and happily married. Why don't we say that? Why are we saying, oh, but you have to have better

01:00:42.180 marks and you have to go to college and you have to, why do we say that? Why are we not content with

01:00:49.540 raising human beings who will be content in whatever job they choose? It's not the job.

01:00:57.720 It's, as you say, it's the person. So when, so we, when we focus on the score on the marks or like,

01:01:05.880 they will hear us, they will, they will, that will flow through what, what, as the parents, as that is

01:01:11.660 the primary educators, what we are focusing on, what's important to us will de facto become important

01:01:17.280 to the child because that's what they're exposed to. That's what they hear all day. So the first

01:01:21.760 thing we need to do is take care of our own character. We have to take care that we ourselves

01:01:28.140 are being careful to pursue virtue, if you will, and be careful what we say about the people around us.

01:01:37.140 Something I was reading the other day is that we have to think about how often we complain

01:01:45.760 about something versus how often we say we are thankful about something. If we can take time every

01:01:52.500 single day to find something to be thankful for and in front of your children, just burst into praise

01:01:58.640 and thanks for this thing or this time or this space or this, whatever it is, that's hugely effective

01:02:04.640 to your child's character. And then check yourself when you're about to complain, check yourself when

01:02:08.780 you're about to make a comment that doesn't necessarily need to be made or a criticism, right?

01:02:12.360 So the first person, the first place to start is with yourself. And then the next thing to do is to

01:02:20.000 read good literature to your children. I think the most important character formation can be taught

01:02:25.780 using literature and to some degree reading the scriptures and not the part where it talks about

01:02:33.220 the 10 commandments because that part's really boring and preachy. If we say to our kids, you need to be

01:02:38.360 good and you must not steal, don't steal. Here's the 10 commandments says don't steal and then you put them

01:02:43.340 out on their way and they steal something. You're like, what's the matter with you? I told you you weren't

01:02:47.620 allowed to steal. It says right here in the Bible, don't steal. Well, the child will say, yeah, but you know,

01:02:52.420 I was at the supermarket and there was this beautiful heap of apples and I was really, really hungry

01:02:58.420 because I forgot my lunch and there's so many there and I could just take this one and the supermarket

01:03:03.720 keeper, he won't even know. And besides he has so many apples and it's only going to be like a dollar.

01:03:07.700 So is it actually stealing? And so you see in that child's mind, they had created a scenario where

01:03:13.000 they could put themselves into a place where they're not stealing. And this can happen. Children are

01:03:17.880 extremely imaginative. So we need to put positive, good, true and beautiful things in their imagination

01:03:26.340 so that they cannot imagine anything wrong or bad. And we can do that again by reading stories.

01:03:33.500 One of the most powerful books on that is called Tending the Heart of Virtue and it's by

01:03:38.220 Vigangorian. This one here, Tending the Heart of Virtue. And it's about how classic stories awaken a

01:03:44.340 child's moral imagination. Because think about this, a story can take a child to a time and a place

01:03:52.640 that you, you can't. Okay. You can take a child to save the children's crusades and you can tell a

01:04:00.020 story about what these children were going through, some of the trials they faced and what did they

01:04:04.840 believe and how they were acting on their faith and what they were told to do. That's a place where

01:04:09.760 you wouldn't even want to take your children if you could, but there are general principles in there

01:04:13.900 that you definitely want your child to understand and to take away. You can, and then again, fairy tales,

01:04:19.840 fairy tales are really important because fairy tales are able to break the mold of reality

01:04:23.760 and tell us things about moral law that we couldn't experience either. So for example,

01:04:31.960 the story Beauty and the Beast, which is horribly, horribly mangled by Disney. So when I say Beauty and

01:04:38.560 the Beast, don't think the Disney story. If you've ever read the actual Beauty and the Beast, you can find

01:04:45.460 it in a book called The Blue Fairy Book by Andrew Lang, called The Blue Fairy Book. I would strongly

01:04:53.040 recommend that as a start for fairy tales because he actually tells the real fairy tales. But in the

01:04:57.680 story Beauty and the Beast, she does have a horrible time coming to work with this beast and to try to

01:05:09.560 understand him. And in the end, she does fall in love with him and she does try to work with him to

01:05:16.360 change his character to make him better. And then he becomes, he actually turns out he's actually a man.

01:05:22.240 The moral of that story, the purpose of that story is to teach a child that something needs to be loved.

01:05:29.160 Sometimes something needs to be loved before it can be lovable. Right? So, and this,

01:05:36.100 parents, this is for us sometimes. Your child can sometimes be that thing that you're just like,

01:05:42.580 how do you belong to me? Why do I have to put up with you? I am at my wit's end and I don't know

01:05:48.120 what to do with you anymore. Well, a thing needs to be loved before it can be lovable. And this is,

01:05:55.260 this is maybe parenting in a nutshell. Not many other people would love our children all the time as

01:06:01.640 much as we do because they're not always very lovable. Um, so, so fairy tales will give us

01:06:07.240 those moral principles. Um, and, um, and a child can see through that much quicker than an adult can

01:06:15.860 again, because they haven't been, um, tempered by the world's kind of evil and cynicism. So I would say

01:06:23.480 read good books. So, so many good books and be careful because we're in a world where it's hard to find

01:06:29.620 good books really hard. And some of the world's agendas are sneaking into these books where it's

01:06:33.700 actually harder and harder to find good children's literature that doesn't have some kind of agenda

01:06:38.480 in it. Um, so you do want to be careful, but the, uh, a good way to know that you're, uh, reading good

01:06:45.320 books is just go back, read some classics, Little Red Riding Hood, um, read, read, um, there's a great

01:06:51.560 book called St. George and the Dragon, or, um, you know, there's anything by Barbara Cooney. Just keep,

01:06:57.660 keep those, anything that pre-1980, probably going to be okay. And there is so much out there. Uh,

01:07:05.460 so just read anything you can.

01:07:10.480 I agree. And, uh, I guess that's where your bookstore would come in handy. You've got stuff

01:07:17.380 that would help people figure out how to find those books and have them available. Tell us about your

01:07:22.740 store and, um, yeah, what goes on in the store. I was there last year when I was asked to homeschool

01:07:31.360 my granddaughter for, from February to June. And I went in the store and I grabbed this classical

01:07:37.980 reader book. Cause I thought, well, and look how thin it is. So it's nothing overwhelming. Um,

01:07:43.860 it just told me in a nutshell, okay, this is, these are some great classics for kindergarten.

01:07:48.340 And I went, bingo. I got them all at the library. We were good. And, uh, there were some good stories

01:07:55.300 there. Um, yeah. Tell us about your store. Um, my store is an accident, but it is, it speaks to the

01:08:06.280 incredible demand and need for good literature, for good education, for people who are searching for,

01:08:17.760 the good, the true, and the beautiful. Um, it's, uh, it started primarily, it was started in my home,

01:08:25.060 in my basement. I was just working with a bunch of homeschool families and it's like, oh, I wanted

01:08:28.500 to bring in some of this curriculum or some of these books that were harder to get in Canada.

01:08:33.320 Um, and it kind of grew to the point where, well, we moved into a commercial location a couple of

01:08:37.960 years ago. Um, and it's, well, what I've done is over the years, I've curated a collection of

01:08:45.020 not just curriculum, but actual books like literature, the classics. And, um, it's kind

01:08:52.560 of developed a reputation where you can come, you can buy books from the bookstore and you can trust

01:08:57.800 that everything we sell is going to meet the standards, um, that the kind of universal Christian

01:09:03.380 standards, um, we're not going to go out on the skinny roots of like, uh, anything controversial

01:09:10.180 or that has maybe a bit of discussion where one family will want it, one family won't. If you want

01:09:15.280 those books, you can go to chapters, but if you want good, solid literature, you would come to our

01:09:20.360 bookstore. Um, some of the, um, yeah, so we, we've, we'd sell mostly online. That's where most of our

01:09:30.420 sales are. If you're in the Abbotsford area in the lower mainland, you can come into the store. If

01:09:34.500 you're driving through, we're right off of highway one. So it's very easy to access and you can come

01:09:38.520 through and you can actually see the books. Um, and actually I do want to, um, extend a special

01:09:44.660 offer, um, to your listeners doors, because, um, I do want to help them to find good literature

01:09:52.200 and understand like a lot of what I've curated in terms of the book collection has to do with

01:09:58.800 just being a good person or just helping your children with character formation. You don't have

01:10:04.440 to be a homeschooler. Um, grandparents come and shop. We get uncles and aunts. Um, the book

01:10:11.860 collection is, is kind of a standalone thing. Um, and so I did want to offer something to your

01:10:17.480 listeners doors. Um, I'll give you a coupon code. So if you wanted to go to our website,

01:10:22.420 you could use the code, um, action for Canada. So it's like action number four Canada. And if you'd

01:10:28.420 put any orders through our website and you use that code, you'll get a 15% discount on your order.

01:10:34.860 Um, just because, uh, we, we want to help you to curate your collection of really good books.

01:10:42.540 And, and to a large degree, it's hard to know what good books are. So get, even if you use our

01:10:49.420 website as a resource, go, well, what should, what could I read? What should my kids read? And just get

01:10:54.060 some titles and some authors from our website and go see if you can find those in the library or

01:10:58.680 find them at secondhand stores. You don't necessarily have to buy them from us, but it

01:11:01.760 is a list of books that will help. Um, and then of course the curriculum as well. So the curriculum

01:11:07.180 is largely, uh, curated to teach the it's, it's character like, but higher academic standard than

01:11:16.520 what you would find out there. So in, in a public school setting and what you'll find is like,

01:11:22.340 for example, we don't really have a language arts program. Cause as I said, I don't like

01:11:25.680 the term language arts, language arts doesn't really work. So we'll have a curriculum path

01:11:31.480 that you can follow that will take your children through that process I talked about earlier.

01:11:35.420 Um, and, and instead of saying, here's your grade one language arts, grade two language arts,

01:11:40.400 we don't do that. Um, so that's kind of how, yeah, that's, that's kind of what we've ended up

01:11:45.520 curating. And the, in seven years, we went from my basement into a commercial, uh, location. And

01:11:52.540 all I can say is that's just because, uh, people are looking for good materials to teach their

01:12:01.480 children and they're taking education seriously and actually making some changes.

01:12:06.080 So encouraging to hear that. Uh, I am completely all in on that and, uh, yeah, we need to get the

01:12:16.540 word out that, uh, you are available and your services. Um, as we close, um, do you have any

01:12:24.280 favorite books or do you have like your top one or two pieces of encouragement you want to leave with

01:12:30.320 us? Yeah. So, um, there's, I have two favorite books. Um, the first one should be in every

01:12:40.980 homeschool, uh, every home it's called teaching from rest. So if there's one book you read on

01:12:47.440 homeschooling, make it this one teaching from rest by Sarah McKenzie. It's very thin. See, just like

01:12:54.600 that. Um, so it's not going to take much to go through. Um, and it will give you so many tips on

01:13:06.020 how to keep your home peaceful, but primarily what it will do is help you keep your mind peaceful

01:13:13.160 because as a parent, as a homeschooling mom or dad, it, it, it makes or breaks in your own head.

01:13:21.520 So teaching from rest is helpful. Um, I would say that one. And then, um, this is a book,

01:13:28.620 but it's also more like a person that I highly recommend this one here, the life giving home

01:13:33.320 by, uh, Sarah, Sally and Sarah Clarkson. Um, so the life giving home talks about how you can make

01:13:42.500 your whole, your home and the place where you're going to be with your children, the majority of the

01:13:47.900 time, make your home a place where they, the children want to be, where they gather. And at

01:13:54.060 the, and, and even during the day or at the end of the day, or they want to come home to, especially

01:13:58.580 as teenagers, like, Oh, I just just want to be there in that place. Um, so Sally Clarkson talks about

01:14:04.620 that in the life giving home. She's actually, uh, one of the veteran homeschoolers. She, um, homeschooled

01:14:11.200 her four children way back in the day, her oldest daughter, Sarah is about my age. Um, just had her

01:14:17.600 fourth child, I believe. Um, and all of her four children, again, they're like highly successful.

01:14:24.480 Some of them, some of them had PhDs. Like, and she's, it's not, again, she's, it's not because

01:14:29.000 like her and her husband were such high academic achievers. They just emotionally supported these

01:14:33.320 kids. So when you read Sally Clarkson's books, you get a really good understanding as a parent of

01:14:39.320 how to come up, come up behind your child and support them, whether it is by making a beautiful

01:14:46.740 home or learning how to do very simple, quick recipes, because food is actually really important

01:14:52.460 to keeping your home lovely and, and inviting. So, so how can you, um, simple, simple food recipes and

01:14:59.380 things like that. So the life giving home, that would be the second one. And then just everything

01:15:03.440 Sally Clarkson, um, the, and that kind of, those are kind of my two final tips as well.

01:15:09.780 Everything has to do, like everything that's going to happen in your home, the peace of your home,

01:15:15.180 your children's education, it's going to be as successful as your brain, as your mind is. And so,

01:15:23.100 and what I mean by that is if you're frantic, if you're worried, if you're stressed, that will pour

01:15:29.180 into your home and it will affect the children. So you need to find a place where you can be at peace

01:15:36.280 and that a lot of that's going to happen in prayer. So never, ever underestimate the amount of prayer

01:15:44.840 that you should be doing. In fact, my son said to me the other day, um, is there such a thing as praying

01:15:48.580 too much? And I love that question because I could say, no, there just isn't. So, and prayer, there's two

01:15:56.420 things about prayer. One of them is we're appealing to our heavenly father and asking him to give us that

01:16:03.200 peace that we need and that calm, but we're also training ourselves to entrust ourselves to his

01:16:08.740 care and to his control. Because ultimately what's, what's happening, uh, is he's, these are his

01:16:18.120 children. He's given them to us for a small period of time, a very small period of time. And he, he's the

01:16:26.320 one, the Holy spirit is in them just as much. The Holy spirit is in us. And Jesus died for these

01:16:32.140 children. They're his, he loves them. So entrust your children to him and trust your circumstances

01:16:39.020 to him. Um, and, and be at peace and at rest that when things that what's happening in your home,

01:16:45.800 the circumstances in your life that are outside of your control are 100% within his control.

01:16:52.500 And the, the piece that that gives you, uh, is, is that, is that peace that surpasses all

01:16:58.920 understanding and that will, and then that will flow into your home. So that's what you're meditating

01:17:03.700 on. If that's what you, where you're turning over your trust, that's going to be the foundation for

01:17:08.620 your home. Um, and, and, um, and make good food, tea, food, hot chocolate, gather around the table.

01:17:17.700 That's more important than any curriculum and have good conversations with those kids,

01:17:22.140 engage their minds. The little ones make their little problems, big problems in your mind. The

01:17:27.040 big ones make their big problems, maybe a little smaller because they're not necessarily have to

01:17:32.100 be that big, but take them seriously. Um, yeah.

01:17:36.680 Wow. Fantastic advice. I could listen to you all day.

01:17:41.000 Really. Really. Thank you for spending time with us. Um, you also have a YouTube channel or YouTube,

01:17:49.200 uh, videos. How do we find you?

01:17:52.060 Yeah. So you can find me on YouTube. Uh, if you search for the bookstore, search classical education

01:17:59.080 books and head over there, we have a YouTube channel. We have a bunch of, uh, I have a bunch of

01:18:04.900 talks on there from, we, we, we do a monthly event called curriculum conversations.

01:18:11.520 And it's happens the last Thursday of every month and they are now live in the bookstore. So you can

01:18:17.180 come in person. And we actually have this incredibly lovely group of people that come regularly. We have

01:18:23.000 new people coming every time. Sometimes we have to like put people where in our building is two

01:18:27.340 floors. Sometimes we have to put people on two floors cause we're too full. We can't fit them all

01:18:31.720 in the one room, but that's okay. Cause there's always coffee and treats. Um, and we just have this

01:18:35.640 lovely community here in, in the, in the store, but also online. It's live streams. If you're not

01:18:41.060 local, you can log in online and you can ask your questions live and I will address them as well.

01:18:46.000 Um, and, and you can let me know if there's something you want to hear, um, us address. I will,

01:18:51.680 I will put that in the, in the float this coming Thursday. So just in two days, we're having our next

01:18:57.460 live event. And that one I'm really excited about. It's going to be about how we define classical

01:19:03.840 education. And it's going to be focusing a largely on some of the stuff we've talked about today,

01:19:08.140 like character formation, the importance of literature, uh, and, uh, just some of the ideas

01:19:14.160 around classical education that people have that I want to dispel a lot of, um, preconceived notions.

01:19:19.900 No, it's wonderful. I was just thinking back on that book, teaching from rest. I'm wondering,

01:19:27.400 is that a kind of book too, that would really work well for a mom who's working perhaps part-time

01:19:32.800 and a little bit always consumed with, am I, am I enough? Are the kids getting enough? Yeah,

01:19:39.340 absolutely. Absolutely. Uh, she has, and the idea of, um, being in prayer and, and resting in the,

01:19:49.580 in the, in the almighty arms of our heavenly father that largely she, she talks about that

01:19:55.180 in this book quite a bit and, and how we need to be praying and even meditating. But then again,

01:20:00.980 this goes back to why we want to be reading poetry with our kids. You know, the biggest secret about

01:20:05.040 homeschooling is that as the parent, you're going to be the one who's the most educated and the most

01:20:09.300 at peace because the, because we've to a large degree, never encountered a lot of this absolutely

01:20:14.660 beautiful material. And so we will be transformed as well.

01:20:20.420 Very true. I was exposed learning and growing with my children all those years and wouldn't trade

01:20:27.660 it for anything. They were the best years ever. Thank you, Hester Van Brayden. We really appreciate

01:20:34.040 all your wisdom, your insight, and, um, your relevancy as you are currently also a homeschool mom.

01:20:41.060 And so you're, yeah, the young moms want to hear from real active, fully engaged homeschool parents

01:20:50.460 right now and, uh, hungry to learn and grow. So we really appreciate it. And, uh, we can find you

01:20:58.040 at, uh, classicaleducationbooks.ca. There's a, um, email link in there, correct?

01:21:03.320 There is. Yes. You can email us from the website and don't forget your code action for Canada

01:21:09.600 to get 15% off, especially we've got some really good Christmas stuff right now. Um, so yeah.

01:21:17.200 Wonderful. Thank you. So with that, we're going to say goodbye and Merry Christmas and see you in January.

01:21:33.320 Here we go.

Action4Canada - November 29, 2023

Action4Canada Parent Webinar： A Classical Education Approach for Homeschooling - Nov 28, 2023

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