Action4Canada Parent Webinar: A Classical Education Approach for Homeschooling - Nov 28, 2023
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 21 minutes
Words per Minute
181.3453
Summary
In this episode, I interview Hester Van Braden, owner of Classical Education Books, a second-generation homeschooling parent. She has been a homeschooler for over 20 years and has been involved in the homeschool movement in Canada for over 15 years. She is passionate about educating her kids in a Christian, traditional setting. Her goal is to encourage and support other homeschool families in their homeschool journey. She is a guest speaker on various podcasts and presents monthly support talks at meetings hosted at her bookstore.
Transcript
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My name is Doris. I'm the host here with Action for Canada and the Homeschool
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Parent Support Lead. We've got an exciting morning to present here. So I'm just going
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to screen share here as people are signing in. And we want to go to current issues.
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And we got a homeschooling revolution down here. And here you can find lots of great videos,
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people that we have partnered with, different organizations, and great videos. A couple
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things here. The Homeschool Association Directory, that's how you find me. I'm Doris. Again,
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it's broken down by province. And so if you live in Alberta, you can reach AHIA,
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Alberta Home Education Association, and they'll help you get started either with understanding
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your homeschool laws in your province, how to find your support groups, how to find activities for
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the kids. And then if you continue scrolling down, you will find our resources. And we've got the
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Homeschool Legal Defense Association here, and the Learning House, and then some great magazines that
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you can tap into to encourage you on the journey. Okay, and then we have the webinar page. So it's on
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our homeschool page, you sign up here. And scroll down these, this is where all the videos that I've done in
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the past, I'm going to start from the bottom, and scroll up. So we started out
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back in the spring. And we, the one about Homeschool Legal Defense Association with Peter Stock was really,
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really, really, really good. Teaching multiple ages, if you've got three, four or five kids at home,
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that was a good one. And then the in depth, when sex ed, that's the same word for SOGI. I think that
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terminology gets used in Ontario. And then Israel Wayne, that was a great one history of education,
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and so on. So you go all the way back up here, then we ran our parenting course. And that's great for
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parents who want to talk to their kids about biblical sexuality. This course is still available.
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the last two weeks ago, I interviewed Greg Needham from the Christian Canadian Christian
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education movement. That's an exciting one to watch to see what's going on in Canada. Okay.
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So we've got that. And I'm going to now welcome Hester Van Braden. She is from Abbotsford and has an
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amazing store there. It's called Classical Education Books. I wanted to say .ca, which it is. And
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she's a second generation homeschooling parent. While pursuing ideas for her own children's education,
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she began to learn more about classical education. Her passion for pursuing what she found in classical
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education spilled out of her home. She has started homeschooling co-ops and reading groups. She's a
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guest speaker on various podcasts and presents monthly support talks at meetings hosted at her bookstore.
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Hester started the bookstore unintentionally just to help out some friends. Over the years,
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the bookstore has expanded to include working with brick and mortar schools and parents who send their
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kids to school, but need to find good literature for them. While the materials are a necessary part of
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education, Hester's work is largely to promote an education that focuses on the good, the beautiful,
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and the true in a world that's confused and needs to have those ideas once again.
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So welcome, Hester Van Braden. And yeah. So let's just get right into it. I've got some notes here I'm
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going to review. You wanted to first talk about the top-down approach. Tell us what that is.
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Yeah, so yeah. So this is an approach that I've been working on promoting when, especially when you're
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new to homeschooling. It's also a good approach to review annually. If you've been homeschooling
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forever, this is a, this is just a kind of a template to help you understand who is your family?
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What are, what is your role in your community? What are your strengths and weaknesses? And
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the reason why we do this is because there are so many opportunities out there, so many options for
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curriculum, for extracurricular activities, for, you know, nature, nature walks and museums. Like,
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especially here in the lower mainland, we have some of the most beautiful places in the world to go.
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So how do we decide as a family what we're going to take advantage of and how we're going to lay out
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in education for our children? And I, we start, we need to start by standing back and taking a look at
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your family. What are your strengths? What are your weaknesses? Primarily, what is the, what is the
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setting in which you live? Are you an agricultural family? Are you in an urban setting? Do you have lots
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of family that can help you? And by looking at these things, it helps us to understand where our strengths
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are. So if you have a dad, dad goes to work every day, mom stays at home. That's a wonderful setting
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for mom to be able to homeschool the kids. Um, but we also want to look at, um, so if you're an
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agricultural family, then your kids are going to be one good at, uh, what they're going to be outside a
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lot helping with the animals. Um, and so there's opportunities there for you to lean into that kind of
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an education. Um, and then, and then once, so once you've kind of taken a look at who is your family,
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where are your strengths, then we need to embrace those strengths. So if, if you're in an urban setting,
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for example, and you have, you're in smaller, uh, maybe a smaller home, um, then maybe we need to take
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advantage of some of the outdoor, um, options that we have. Um, but the idea behind top down is we
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start to, we start with looking at our family and we define who we are and what are our beliefs. Um,
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the, one of the things that needs to be assessed as well is, um, why are you, what, why are you
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homeschooling? Why have you made this decision to homeschool? And even from there, create a mission
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statement, a mission statement for your family. Um, because the reason why you chose to homeschool
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now may not be the reason why you continue to homeschool or why you're homeschooling five years
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down the road. However, it is going to be the number one factor that influences how you proceed
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with your homeschooling. Uh, because especially when you start off, if you're homeschooling, because
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you need to get your children out of the school environment and you're, you're, you're going to be a
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little overwhelmed, um, and you're going to have to, uh, take a step back and not worry so much about
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the book work. Um, we actually call it, um, de-schooling. It's not unschooling, but it's de-schooling
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for a little bit and that's okay. Um, but the idea, the idea behind a top down approach is don't start
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with what curriculum am I going to do? What are my activities going to be? The first thing you need to
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look at is who are we as a family? Why are we doing this? The next thing that you would look
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at then is, um, what, what kind of time, how do we, how are we going to use our time? So the way we
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like to say, look at it is we say this, okay, you've got 24 hours in a day. Uh, how are we going to use
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those? Um, well, we have to sleep. So how many, that's going to take off at least 10 hours, uh, eight
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hours. If you're me, it's going to take off 10 hours. Um, but every family is going to be different,
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right? So, so, so decide how many hours do we need for sleep? Then you're going to need to take
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time to eat. So that's how many hours is that going to be? And you're going to need time for
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getting yourself ready in the morning and taking care of your, your, um, your home and your chores.
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So really like at the end of the day, how many hours are you going to have to actually sit down
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and do book work? Okay. Maybe it's four, maybe it's three. That's okay. You don't need to
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have eight hours to homeschool. You do need to have time to live and to take care of yourself
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and your children. So if you end up with say four hours in the day, now, you know, you have four
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hours to, to do formal academic education, or maybe it's three hours. That's all right. So once
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you've taken a look at who are we as a family and what is our mission statement, how, how are we going
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to divide up our time? Um, then the next thing we want to look at is the ability of mom and dad,
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um, like in some sense, the physical ability and the resources we have to help. So perhaps mom
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is feeling great and she can do this and she's got all the time and the energy in the world.
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That's fantastic. But that's not always the case, particularly, um, if you're have a young family
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and say you've had your four, just had your fourth child and you're trying to homeschool these little
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guys over here, um, mom needs to pace herself. Um, so what does that look like, uh, where you,
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you need to take time for the, for the baby and you need to take time to rest for yourself because
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you can't burn out, um, burning out is going to actually end up getting nothing done. Um, and so
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it's okay to slow down when, when you have those times where mom needs to just pace herself. Um, the
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children are going to get an education. There's just no question about it. We'll talk about some of
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those things a little bit later on, on what that will look like, but your children will be educated.
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Even if you, as the mom have to slow it down a little bit, because you are going through a period
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or a stage where you just don't have top energy, or perhaps, um, perhaps there is like an illness
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in the family, or there is a child with a lot of special needs. These are things that we need to
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take into consideration because this is who you are as a family. This is how God created you. This is how
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God made you to be in this world. And we're not, so we don't want to fight that. We don't want to
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become something that we're that, that, you know, because we think we have to be what culture tells
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us or what society says we have to be, or we have to meet some kind of mold. We're not doing that,
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right? We're, we are going to take a step back. We're going to educate ourselves and our children,
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and we're going to live together in a way that God has called us in the circumstances that he
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has placed us. Okay. Um, and, and we have to, so once you've decided your energy levels, your
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abilities, cause maybe, maybe mom works part-time dad works part-time, uh, maybe dad is going to be
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involved heavily in the homeschool. So that's a possibility. Um, other resources we can look at is
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grandparents or aunts and uncles or friends or, uh, the, uh, other people's willingness to participate
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in our children's education and not even in the, just in their education, but in their lives,
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you know, it, uh, is there someone who you're going to, who's going to say, Hey, why don't I take the
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littles, um, for an afternoon so you can focus on the big kids. So, so it's very important. Then we look
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at who are we as a family? What is our mission statement? Um, then we take a look at our resources or
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the physical, uh, abilities that mom and dad have to actually teach the children. Um, and once we've
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done that, we can take a look at our finances. So what is, what is it going to cost us to homeschool
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our kids? Uh, how much money do we have to spend on it? The reality is homeschooling doesn't need to
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cost that much. Uh, there there's, you know, if you send your kid to a private school, you're going
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to be putting out thousands of dollars, um, to, to get that done. But that doesn't mean that if you're
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going to homeschool, it's going to cost you thousands of dollars. It can actually cost very,
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very little. So your finances can help you to determine what are you going to put your money
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into? What's going to be important? Is it going to be maybe a couple of online classes? Uh, is it
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going to be some in-person classes, but understand what, so take a look at your finances. Um,
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if I could just add to that Hester financially too, if they're not in school, you don't have to worry
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about having all the latest clothes. There's way less peer pressure. So now you're saving how many
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hundreds of dollars per kid on the clothes that they need and the hair that they need and the this
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and the, that, and the shoes and, and all the things. So there is actually saving money even that
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way. Yes, exactly. And, and I'm glad you mentioned that about the clothing and the fashions, because,
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um, again, going back, that kind of ties back into who we are as a family, because you are going to
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set a tone and a culture within your own home. That's going to trickle down and affect all these
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other things, who you are, how much time do you have? What are your physical abilities? What are
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your finances? If you go through this once a year and you, you will find that you're going to, you're,
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all these things are going to kind of become easier as you go, because your, your time is going to be
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spent, um, together as a family and the experiences you have in the conversations you have are going
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to be a kind of education. So you'll need kind of less time for the book work because maybe you'll
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be spending more time with, with friends or co-ops or things like that. So, so initially you want to
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put these things down on paper. You want to take a look at what are your abilities. And over time,
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you'll see that shift so that your family's lifestyle becomes this beautiful culture, uh, that isn't even
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necessarily like an education culture, but a culture that's, uh, your family is going to be a learning
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family in an environment that is being created by you as, as parents who are intentionally putting
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yourselves in certain circumstances and places to get an education for your children.
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So that, that's kind of the, the top, the idea of top down, um, look at these major points. Um, and then,
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and the fact could, because all of these things are going to actually determine what curriculum you use as
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well, because if your finances are limited, well, then you're not going to be wanting to spend
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hundreds of dollars on this lovely, shiny new curriculum that everybody's loving,
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but you don't need to necessarily. Right. So, so every time you define a new one, a new term in
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these categories, you're going to, the curriculum pool that's out there is going to get smaller and
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smaller and smaller. And so it's going to be less overwhelming because you'll just be eliminating a
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whole ton of different things that you're just not going to do. And that's okay. Um, we need to
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recognize that God put us in this time and in this era and in this country. Um, and because he has a
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purpose for us in these circumstances. So I am not going to likely ever be, um, a scientist that works
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in, in Mexico. I'm not going to do that. So why would I try to push myself in that direction?
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My children will likely not be that either. That's just not our circumstances or our talents or
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anywhere that we, um, are going to go. So why would I push my children in that direction? That would be
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a waste of our time, a waste of our finances, a waste of physical resources and hurting the relationship.
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What we need to do is once we've assessed this about our family, then work with our strengths so that
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we can become the best citizens, humans, Christians, godly people within our society that we've been
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placed. So let's not try to become, let's not try to create people, children that belong to a certain
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mold. And let's not try to push children into a certain career path because we think that would be
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great for them. Let us, let's raise children and educate them for who God's created them to be.
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Yes, I agree so much. So, and I noticed, um, so in the earliest years, we don't as parents yet know
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what our strengths of the child are. And so I expose them to this and that and this and that,
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and you find out over time that gets smaller because they really don't want to do this anymore.
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Um, and now they want to do this. And usually around grade seven, grade six, seven, eight, depending on
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their maturity and all that, they've really narrowed it down. Um, and then that's like, I'm talking about
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more like the extracurricular, the stuff that's outside of the book work. But by then I also figured out the
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book work. I'm going, okay, this is how they think. This is how they operate. This is, oh, look at
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curriculum going, oh, she's going to die with this one. But my other one will go, oh, she'll love this
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one. So that comes with just learning your child as well. And that having almost too much is
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overwhelming for everybody. It's too, it's just too much. You got to, you got to narrow it in,
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but it does take a little bit of time as a parent to go, hey, this is working and this is not. And if
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it's not, it's okay. Get rid of it. You know, and if it's a subject you need to cover, there's another
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tool and you're going to be good at helping people figure that part out. So as we move into, um, how to
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adapt curriculum to meet the family's needs, let's talk about some of the strategies that make learning
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at home easier to manage. We got things like consistency. Yeah. So consistency, consistency is really
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important. Um, because children thrive on that. So if they know what's going to happen from day to
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day, uh, they, they will be able to get up and do that thing. Um, but that consistency will also
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help build routine. So I think like the foundational key to a happy, smooth home is routine, uh, not a
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schedule per se, um, but a routine and a schedule. The difference between a schedule and a routine is,
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um, a schedule can be, uh, tied to time. So if you have your schedule, you're just like, okay,
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nine o'clock, we're at the desks, 11 o'clock, we're off to all the music, uh, lessons at noon,
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we're going to be having lunch. So a schedule can be really, um, demanding and it can be the thing
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that pushes a mother over the edge, a routine, not so much a routine can be where, okay, this is when
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we, we, we get up generally around this time and then we do our, uh, uh, chores and our cleaner
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rooms. And then we have breakfast. And then when that's all kind of settled, everybody kind of goes
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in, sits down at their desks or, or we go to the living room and mom starts doing read-alouds,
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whatever that may look like for your family. And that, that again, is one of those things that
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initially you need to be intentional about it. Um, start your morning off well, plan your morning
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well. Um, and the day, as the day goes on, it will likely fall, fall all to pieces. And by the
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evening, you'll be wondering like whatever happened to routine, that's okay. That's actually part of
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the routine that happens, but start your day off well, um, and allow the progress, the progression
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of, of what your family needs and how they're going to go through the day to happen as, as it's
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necessary. So sometimes, um, if, especially if like some of the kids don't fall asleep well in the
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evenings and they're, they're up a little bit later, I find this, especially with my
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boys, they'll, they'll fight bedtime and then they're not, they're not sleeping until like
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10 o'clock. Well, my, I can't expect then that they're going to be up bright and early
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at seven or seven 30. Sometimes they are. Um, but, but if they then sleep in a little bit,
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I'm okay with that because that's actually going to make our day easier if I let them have
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an extra hour of sleep in the morning. But when they get up, then we get back, then we get
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into that routine and we get going, um, with all the things and they know what has to
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happen. The routine is just detached from the clock. Um, but that that's not to say
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we don't have a clock because obviously we do need to keep track of activities. So
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extracurricular activities, that's probably one thing that we'll, anybody who has had
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multiple children in extracurricular activities will find is it is so demanding and it's, it
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gets to be really exhausting for parents. Like you just like your bus driver, just bringing
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all these kids all over the place all the time. So again, don't, then don't do too many
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extracurricular activities. Um, with, with our family, I have each child in one extracurricular
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and, and then they have to do piano, pianos or music is just mandatory. So that helps
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us keep that, you know, bus, busing kids around to a minimum. Um, and they have to of course
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be at those places at certain times, but then we can allow that to be a part of the routine
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as well. So routine is extremely important. Um, another thing to, to work on. And I know
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I saw that you, Doris, you did a webinar on this already, which is probably something that
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should be, that would like, I want to go check it out because I think an important thing is
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when you have multiple children, teach as many courses as you can to all of them at the same
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time, simultaneous. It's a one room schoolhouse style. Uh, and that may make you feel nervous
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because, well, you've got a 12 year old and a six year old and how do you teach to all
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of them? Well, the key to that one is always teach to the oldest child because they need
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that information. They crave that knowledge, but the six year old listening in or sitting
00:21:37.900
there will pick up what they can. So if I'm teaching, uh, if I'm working through an astronomy
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class with my oldest and we're going on about, you know, molecular structure and the chemical
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reactions on some of the planets, the little guy's going to zone out. But what he catches
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is that there are planets and they are in this order and these are their names and they are
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different than the earth. So he's, he's getting this whole understanding of astronomy. Um, and
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I don't have to teach him a class just to, just to him. So don't be nervous about teaching
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one subject to all of your children simultaneously. Just make sure that you teach to the oldest
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child. Um, can I just throw a story in there when my second was, um, ready? Well, according
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to the school calendar, ready to start school, I got my books out. Okay. A says, ah, B says,
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but, and, you know, going through that and my youngest was a toddler while three years old
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or so. And, and so mommy, can I, can I do that too? And I went, Oh, I'm so tired already.
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You know, I was just still new at homeschooling and I just gave her coloring sheets to color.
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But every day she heard me say, A says, ah, B says, but, you know, all down the alphabet.
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So when it was her turn for me to like, okay, now I'm going to teach you the letters. She knew them
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all. She heard it over and over and over. I didn't have to teach her to read. She just figured it out
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by hanging out. So that made life a lot easier. That's when I really caught on to, oh yeah, teach
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to the oldest, let everybody in the room hear what's going on because they're learning from each
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other. Absolutely. Absolutely. It's arguably the most difficult to teach the oldest child.
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And it always will be for a number of reasons. But, um, the little, the, the kids in the room that
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are listening, um, they're getting an education. Kids want to learn. They just have a natural, uh,
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inclination to learn. I think that the way they, the school system puts them into such large classes
00:23:43.100
with so few adults has killed that joy in a lot of children. Um, by the time they are teenagers,
00:23:49.720
they're just surviving, but that's unnatural, right? So to have this idea of like rebellious teenagers
00:23:56.560
who don't want to get up in the morning and do their school, that's unnatural. We should not
00:24:00.760
allow that idea to be normalized in our lives or, or even in our homes. Um, my daughter just turned 13
00:24:08.480
and she said to me, mom, I don't want to be that teenager. You know, they say that I'm going to be
00:24:13.980
messy and I'm not going to want to do my school and I'm going to be rebellious against you. She's
00:24:17.420
like, I don't want to be that teenager. And I could truthfully say, I don't think you're going to be
00:24:21.780
that teenager because that's not normal. We're not, we're not in an environment where we try to
00:24:27.160
kill all the joy we possibly can. Um, we try to foster that as parents, um, as much, and, and,
00:24:33.200
and I guess that kind of brings me to another strategy to, uh, to, to keeping the, um, home smooth
00:24:39.840
and harmonious and education going well is there's nothing wrong with allowing your child to study
00:24:46.220
something that they're interested in at the expense of something else. So for example, um,
00:24:53.280
uh, history, I have a daughter who loves history. So pursuing, um, re that, that path, that education
00:25:00.360
path of history is important to let her just, just pursue that. She's learning so, so much. On the
00:25:05.760
other hand, she's not really great at math. She doesn't love math. You know, there's math fundamentals
00:25:10.400
that she has to learn. Absolutely. But I can't see that I'm going to push her to get into the upper
00:25:15.940
levels of, um, of, uh, algebra and calculus and quantum physics. I'm just not going to do that
00:25:22.260
because she, she doesn't have a natural, um, ability to go there. Um, so, and especially with
00:25:29.600
the younger kids too, I have a son who loves birds. He just, everything birds. And, and to some degree
00:25:35.020
nature, we go out on, we go for walks and he's the one who's constantly like, Oh, everybody stopped.
00:25:39.540
And we stop. And there's like, he he's, there's a squirrel and he'll go find the squirrel. And he,
00:25:44.240
he just has this kind of relationship with nature. I don't know what this is, but,
00:25:48.360
but then let them, let them pursue that. Because again, that goes back to who are we? Um,
00:25:55.820
we have to cultivate our own talents and our own abilities and our own interests. That's how we're
00:26:00.760
going to be the most successful, but to push a child into a direction because the government says
00:26:06.780
you have to, or because I think people around us would feel better if they knew you were doing this,
00:26:11.760
that that's harmful to a child. So don't worry about, don't worry about what's expected from you
00:26:19.060
outside of your home, other than of course, um, your church and your, um, your, uh, your faith that
00:26:26.460
that's fundamental. Um, but, but when it comes to your, you know, government requirements or what you
00:26:36.100
might think somebody is thinking about you, just, you got to let it go. And those are things in our,
00:26:39.600
in our own heads that I think we have to work on, um, undoing mostly because we grew up,
00:26:44.980
particularly if, um, you went to school or you were in that kind of an environment of education,
00:26:52.080
you go to school, you go to college, you get a career. That's the, that's the mold in our heads
00:26:57.520
that we have to break because that's not necessarily how it is anymore. Education is changing so fast,
00:27:02.340
so fast. Um, and then, uh, yeah, just one more thing on, um, like a strategy or technique is,
00:27:10.620
uh, something that I call the morning basket. Um, others call it circle time or, you know,
00:27:17.660
there's various, uh, things to call it. Um, but what that is, is, uh, as a parent,
00:27:23.340
you put together a collection of, of things. Usually it focuses on the humanities,
00:27:29.480
uh, because that's something that falls through the cracks so easily. You know, you
00:27:33.200
may teach your kids to read, make sure you do your math, you know, do your science textbook,
00:27:38.060
all this stuff. But what about art appreciation? What about music appreciation? Or what about just
00:27:43.960
good literature or fairy tales? When do we get time to do those things? What about poetry?
00:27:48.800
Right. Um, those are actually fundamental to a child's development and to an understanding of the
00:27:55.520
world. And then, and later on in life, they will be drawing from some of those, um, parts of their
00:28:01.040
education. So, so that's what we can, so the way we can teach those things is what I call the morning
00:28:06.580
basket. And again, these are things you teach that are completely unrelated to age. Okay. Um,
00:28:14.280
what, what I started with, and you can be very, very simple, start with, uh, get a notebook. You can go
00:28:21.520
online and you can find schedules and you can find plant home morning time baskets to your heart's
00:28:25.960
content. They can be very complicated. And again, if you start with a schedule that says, here's 20
00:28:31.720
things to put in your morning basket, you're not going to do it. You're going to get burnt out. So
00:28:34.900
start very simply with a notebook and put four things on there that you want to do. Um, and of
00:28:41.380
course I started with prayer and I like, that's where you teach your children to pray. Cause prayer
00:28:46.700
prayer doesn't like, especially for children. It's like, Oh my, I hurt my toe or I want this
00:28:51.740
or I want, well, how about when it comes time to teaching prayer? Um, we, I would always make
00:28:56.960
it a requirement that each child had to request prayer for someone that they knew or something
00:29:01.540
that was going on. So they had to think outside of themselves for prayer. So you just start off
00:29:05.640
with morning time. We're going to do prayer. Um, we can sing a hymn. I like, I think songs are
00:29:11.160
important. So either folk songs or hymns or something like that. Maybe you just want to eliminate
00:29:14.400
that part, but whatever you want to put in there, whatever's important to you, uh, in,
00:29:18.680
in studying the humanities, you put in your notebook. Um, and we did Bible, uh, memory work
00:29:23.480
in that, uh, for the, for the, for my first time I did, this was like seven years ago. Um,
00:29:29.760
and then I had poetry. We had to read a poem and we just started with that every day. Um, and then
00:29:34.920
as we got, it doesn't have to take long. It can take 15 minutes. Um, but the idea is gather everyone
00:29:40.380
around and just go over this, pray together, recite your Bible memory verse. Um, and then,
00:29:46.160
um, read through a poem that when you're good at that, you can add in art, art appreciation.
00:29:51.980
So there's various different, um, programs are just, you can go online and say, Hey, we're
00:29:55.860
going to study this artist. And you pick up a piece of art from this printed piece of art,
00:29:59.140
put in your morning basket. And you don't need to be an, uh, you know, an art connoisseur or
00:30:04.080
knowledgeable in this area at all. You literally show them the artwork, talk about it together.
00:30:09.440
If you have a kind of a guide to go with it, that can be helpful, but you don't have to
00:30:13.300
children see things, uh, because they're so innocent because they're so new to this world
00:30:20.720
and they haven't had, um, cynicism affect them yet. Um, and so when you show them a beautiful
00:30:26.620
piece of art, something like Michelangelo, uh, the things they see are phenomenal. It's just
00:30:32.260
gorgeous. Um, we did a study. I usually try to do from the ancients to the moderns in one
00:30:38.140
year. And what the kids noticed early on was that the ancients, um, toward the middle ages had a
00:30:46.360
lot of, they had spiritual paintings. So they portrayed a lot of, uh, the angels and they
00:30:52.400
portrayed, um, like Mary and Jesus. And, um, even, even some of the medieval painters, they would do a
00:30:58.980
scene, um, like just a scene of the shepherds or some, something happening here on, on earth.
00:31:05.720
But then in the corners of the painting, they had the little angels looking in. Um, and, and that
00:31:11.600
what the kids noticed is that as the paintings become more sort of earthly minded, if you will,
00:31:17.720
the, the heavenly beings disappear. And then even Turner, you look at Turner and it's, there's nothing
00:31:25.020
spiritual there at all. Now he's, it's beautiful, but the children notice like we're, they we've lost
00:31:31.560
sight of this constant idea that, that, that God is watching, that the angels are with us. There's a
00:31:36.280
spiritual world here and now and active, and it is nearby us, but we've lost that. And you can see
00:31:41.580
that as you progress through art. So that's just one of the little things that we came up, uh, that we,
00:31:46.900
we, that came out of art appreciation for us. And there's so many things that you just, just put it
00:31:50.960
in front of your children. So you can add art appreciation, um, to the morning basket and then music.
00:31:56.260
The idea of a morning basket is just be very intentional about what you want to study with
00:32:00.820
your children. Um, and then what, once you have say too much, so you got, I usually put in a
00:32:09.080
literature of that, a book of literature that I want to read with them. Um, and then a historical
00:32:14.100
fiction. And then there's like science, uh, read alouds that you can read like story of Florence
00:32:18.700
Nightingale or story of, we just got a book in the bookstore called the chemical history of a candle.
00:32:23.420
It's fantastic. It's just a chapter book to read aloud. Um, so something like that,
00:32:27.940
I would put that in my basket as, as to cover science. And when it becomes too much, then what
00:32:34.340
I do is, and I got this idea from Sarah McKenzie. She writes about this book and this in her book,
00:32:38.980
teaching from rest. Um, you start doing a loop schedule. So for the first few things that are
00:32:46.560
really important, you keep that constant. So you're always going to do prayer. You're always going to
00:32:50.920
sing your hymn. You're always going to do Bible recitation. You're always going to read a poem
00:32:54.600
always every day. But then after that, you can take art and all the books you want to read
00:33:00.500
and just touch on whatever one you can as, um, per day. So we do art. We start with art. We got
00:33:06.620
through that. We'll read a chapter of our history book and that's it. We've run out of time. It's
00:33:10.900
been half an hour, 45 minutes. The kids are antsy. We can't, we just can't focus. So everybody just
00:33:14.720
go. Then the next day you don't pick up back with art or history. Cause you did those the day
00:33:19.220
before you start with your next year. Science read aloud. You get through science and then you
00:33:22.800
go through, um, the literature. If you have, and then that's all you can do, then you end that for
00:33:27.620
the day. Then the next day you pick up again at your art. So you've got art, um, art, history,
00:33:33.080
literature, science, and you just touch on whichever one you just pick up the next day where you left off
00:33:37.960
the day before and you just keep going round and round like that. And that way you will get through
00:33:42.120
all of that material over a certain period of time. And this is where, again, it ties to routines and not
00:33:46.780
schedules. Um, you'll get through that material and you won't have science constantly neglected
00:33:51.800
because you, you're going through art, history. Oh, ran out of time. Next day, art, history,
00:33:56.120
literature. Oh, we just didn't get to science. Okay. Next day, art, history, science, or literature
00:34:00.000
still didn't get to science, right? So you, you, by doing a loop schedule and you can do loop schedules
00:34:04.700
for an infinite amount of things. You capture absolutely everything, uh, but not necessarily on the
00:34:11.880
same day or even in the same week, uh, but it gets done. Yeah. And you know, that is something I learned
00:34:18.880
from my own trial and error was that loop schedule. Um, I just wanted to speak to the parents who may
00:34:25.080
have a child who is easily distracted and constantly standing up and moving around and walking. And, um,
00:34:34.160
so it is an age thing. It is a maturity thing. And so what I was encouraged to do was to test the child
00:34:42.140
comprehension after the story was done and she nailed it. So she would have been twirling around
00:34:49.680
the living room in a dress through the whole story. The older one was older already and a little more
00:34:55.200
settled and would sit, but the second one nailed it. And I went, okay, she's got it. That's okay.
00:35:01.280
And you know what? A year later, she was nestled on the other side of my shoulder and sitting too.
00:35:08.600
So it's not so much like sit still, sit still and be a good kid. It's no, you getting out of it and
00:35:15.540
give them the time and the grace. It'll all come in its own time. That's right. And that's again,
00:35:22.580
where teaching to the oldest applies to like when you're teaching the, to the oldest, the younger ones
00:35:29.300
pick up what they will pick up, but the oldest will pick up what they will pick up too. So you,
00:35:33.220
you can't possibly say, I'm going to read you this book and then you're going to tell it back to me
00:35:37.140
verbatim. That's not fair. That's not fair to the child. Um, so, so we're going to lay out a feast
00:35:42.780
before them, if you will, and they will eat what they eat. Um, but we're going to make sure it's highly
00:35:47.440
nutritious. And so what they eat or what they take is going to be very important and effective for them
00:35:52.480
later on. Um, but yet to that, um, wiggly child syndrome thing that I, that you, you totally got
00:36:00.320
on, you were totally onto something there because, um, I think it's important to never tell a child
00:36:06.840
to sit still and listen to me, read this book to you. Um, that, that actually can be counterproductive
00:36:14.920
because some kids listen better when they're moving or when they're going, when something is
00:36:18.880
happening. But when you say, no, you must sit there and listen, they'll be working so hard at
00:36:23.740
keeping their body still that they won't actually be able to listen to a single word that you're
00:36:27.560
reading. So, um, so the, so let them, let them wiggle, let them play. In fact, um, there, I think
00:36:34.720
there are studies that have been done that show that you need to have both sides of your brain, um,
00:36:39.820
working in order to be able to focus and concentrate. So I actually have my kids do something with their
00:36:45.700
hands when I do morning time, either color they had, they can color or they can play quietly with
00:36:50.820
Lego or they can knit something or they can crochet or cross stitch. And then you get some of that
00:36:56.100
handwork, um, study done as well. But I, you must have very few children can actually just sit and
00:37:03.400
listen. Very few. And like, as an adult, I still can't sit and listen. I have to do something with my
00:37:07.680
hands. Yeah. Thank you for clarifying that. Um, let's go a little bit into, um, this expectation
00:37:18.360
we put as parents on ourselves and we've kind of passed that on to our kids too, about we need to
00:37:24.760
get them reading and we need to get them writing. And what do you mean you can't write more than a
00:37:29.040
sentence and all this pressure. Um, so there's different parts of, um, the language arts scene where
00:37:36.420
there's narration, dictation, vocabulary, um, how do we get them to do that stuff without, uh, burning
00:37:44.720
them out and, or, or even the boredom sometimes that might come with that. Yeah. Like mom, I did
00:37:52.300
this yesterday. Why do I have to do it again? You know, like that kind of stuff. Right. Yeah. But the
00:37:57.860
repetition. Yeah. Um, okay. I'll just start off with like a, a real zinger. I hate the term language
00:38:06.980
arts. Um, it doesn't make sense that we would put so much on a child so early. Um, and I learned a lot
00:38:19.240
of this from Andrew Pudowa from the, he's with the Institute for Excellence in Writing. And he does a lot
00:38:24.780
of work and study on how to teach the, the arts of language, right? That's a, I think a much better
00:38:32.380
term, the arts of language to a child. Um, there's a progression that has to happen and it goes along
00:38:40.380
with the child's development. Um, so if we pull back and we stop trying to teach them reading, spelling,
00:38:50.300
writing, writing, composition all at once, we will actually be far more effective. Uh, and I did a talk
00:38:58.200
on my, um, YouTube channel about this, um, the arts of language and I, the, the, the problem. Yeah. So if we
00:39:08.120
first pull off that huge expectation, they have to do everything. We have to start from there. Um, then we have
00:39:14.360
to understand the progression of a child's development and how we can teach them to use
00:39:20.620
language as they develop. And it starts with listening. A child, a baby is actually learning
00:39:28.120
to listen. And once they understand your words and they've listened to you speaking a few times,
00:39:33.780
and you know that they understand, cause you say, don't do that. And they look at you out of the side
00:39:38.040
of their little eyes and they do it anyway. You know that they are learning to listen and they've,
00:39:44.100
they've conquered it to some extent and now they have to put that obedience behind it. They have
00:39:47.980
to, but listening is the first thing. The next thing they have to, they will do it, learn is
00:39:53.200
speaking, right? They will learn how to use words properly and you will correct them as they learn,
00:40:02.300
as they speak incorrectly and as they use the wrong word order. Um, and that's, that's all good.
00:40:07.340
That's appropriate. That's necessary. Um, the next thing that they will want to do is read.
00:40:11.740
That's the next progression. Now you've taught them how to listen. You've taught them how to speak.
00:40:20.840
So wouldn't it naturally flow that you could teach them how to read? And I'm just like doing a plug
00:40:25.200
for homeschooling here, just in case you feel like, you know, you're not confident enough, but you can,
00:40:29.040
you can teach them. You've done all this stuff. Now it's time to teach them how to read.
00:40:32.720
It's not time to teach them to do writing composition or spelling or, uh, comprehension.
00:40:38.480
It's not time for that. It's only time to teach them how to read and tied into that is how to,
00:40:44.620
how to, um, shape letters. And so this is where copy book would come in, but not again, not writing
00:40:50.880
comprehension and not, um, not writing composition or reading comprehension. You're just going to teach
00:40:57.720
them how to read and how to shape letters. And that can have, that can go for several years that can
00:41:03.320
go anywhere from like age four to age nine that they're learning how to read. And they're learning
00:41:07.940
how to shape letters. Copy book is actually vitally important because they're just, they're going to
00:41:12.480
copy out words and phrases and sentences and anything you put in front of them. That can be very powerful
00:41:18.660
also to memory. Cause if you have them copying up passages of scripture or poetry or, uh,
00:41:24.120
you know, segments from books, whatever it is, you want them to copy out the, what's happening
00:41:29.100
is they're learning how to, um, as Andrew just explains it so nicely. Um, they're learning how
00:41:35.980
to hold a writing utensil. Cause you think about this, those little hands, it's got my, my little
00:41:40.140
guy, he was doing copy book yesterday and he did two pages and he was just like, oh, my hand,
00:41:43.960
my hand hurts. You think about that. Um, these little hands are learning how to hold that,
00:41:50.600
that utensil and building the muscle to, to write those letters. That's an important part
00:41:55.340
of the, the first stages of learning to read and write. It's actually like a muscle structure in
00:42:03.080
your hand. Um, so copy book book is helping with that. Copy book is copy work is helping with
00:42:08.140
shaping letters and writing neatly and possibly moving into cursive. I think cursive is really
00:42:12.300
important. It's artistic. Also as a side note, you can't, if you have a dyslexic child,
00:42:17.140
they should be learning cursive as soon as possible. Cause you can't possibly write a
00:42:21.200
backwards D if you're doing cursive or B for that matter. It's, it's, it has to go the way it has
00:42:27.480
to go. So cursive is a really important, um, skill. So after the reading and the, uh, copy work
00:42:36.520
and the, and the reading aloud, reading aloud, reading aloud, you're filling their brains and
00:42:40.660
their little minds with words, with phrases, with beauty. Absolutely. You're, you're, you're filling
00:42:46.500
up their minds. You're, you're giving them, um, something to think on when they're playing or
00:42:53.100
when they're out with their friends. So, so let that happen. Let that take the time it needs to
00:42:59.720
take. And if that means they're nine or 10 years old and they're just finally fluently reading,
00:43:04.100
um, and writing neatly, that's great. Then writing composition is actually the last thing,
00:43:09.720
the last part of the process. So I don't think writing composition should even begin until ages nine or
00:43:15.920
10, maybe even 11. And so just to clarify by writing composition, I mean, a formal program
00:43:23.560
that teaches them, uh, grammar structure of writing, that sort of thing. So if you have a
00:43:28.380
little girl, cause girls tend to be the ones who like to write and she grabs her notebook and she's
00:43:32.900
writing all the stories and all the phrases, go for it, just go for it. That's her imagination
00:43:36.800
processing all those beautiful things you're pouring in. But what you don't want to do is say to her,
00:43:41.100
oh, honey, you spelled this word wrong and you have to correct that. And oh, this phrase doesn't
00:43:45.000
really don't do that when they're six and seven years old. And those words are spilling on the
00:43:48.380
page. Just let it go. Let them work their imagination. We start doing formal writing
00:43:56.560
composition when they're about nine or 10 years old, when they have all these ideas in their head.
00:44:01.360
Now they're developmentally capable to start taking on some of that structure. At this point,
00:44:08.240
now they're able to learn how to use language in such a way where they'll be able to write well
00:44:12.420
and communicate well. I'm just looking at some of my notes here. And Charlotte Mason was quite
00:44:24.000
influential in my life in the early years. I'm so grateful her educational approach. It helped me
00:44:30.720
relax and it touches a lot about what you've just mentioned. I got so fixated on the curriculum that,
00:44:38.640
oh my goodness, we have to like, finish all the pages. And what it does is it makes the parent feel
00:44:43.720
good. But it doesn't mean the child retained a thing. And so for me, learning is also retaining and
00:44:51.740
remembering. It's not just filling in the boxes and checking off the lines and all that. So have you
00:44:58.460
got any books that you recommend? Like Charlotte Mason or like with Andrew Pideva's approach?
00:45:07.660
Yeah. So the one book that I read very early on, that was very influential into in what I do is
00:45:16.080
this one here is called For the Children's Sake. I think it's probably backwards on your screen there.
00:45:21.820
It's called For the Children's Sake. And it's by Susan Schaefer-McCully. And she summarizes to a large
00:45:31.340
degree, a lot of the Charlotte Mason principles and explains a lot of this in much, much more eloquence
00:45:38.000
than I am. But it's I think it's probably the number one book to read as you begin your homeschooling
00:45:44.320
journey to understand how do I properly teach this and educate this child. And I shouldn't use
00:45:53.400
the word teach necessarily because education is not taught all the times. Education is often just
00:45:58.860
absorbed based on the environment that we're in. So how do I give this child a proper education
00:46:06.360
education? And in in, in all aspects of their life. So in every area that they go, they're going
00:46:12.860
to be educated. How do we do that? So For the Children's Sake is probably one of the best books on
00:46:18.560
that. That actually triggers a memory. I did read that book a long time ago. For a long time. Yeah.
00:46:27.080
Let's talk a little bit about a couple of things here. The concept of time, you have a phrase,
00:46:33.320
little minds, little times, and using a timer, especially I mean, I used it even with the older
00:46:41.260
kids. I mean, this is kind of funny. But when all the kids came over and wanted to use the trampoline
00:46:46.540
in the backyard. It wasn't fair until we had a timer. And I just took the timer and took it outside
00:46:54.500
and they said it everybody got like four minutes and then it worked like a charm. So there is something
00:46:59.640
to be said about timers. And then I started using it more in the schoolwork as well. So tell me about
00:47:05.160
your experience with that. Timers. Yeah, timers are timers are really important for a number of
00:47:10.260
reasons. So little people do not often have a concept of time. So they they'll when it's their
00:47:20.240
turn to do something, they'll be doing it if they like it, they'll be doing it for hours at a time.
00:47:25.220
And if you say, okay, you have to be finished with that. Now your sibling has to play with this.
00:47:29.360
Well, then the house roof blew off the house, because how dare you? That was my thing. I have
00:47:33.780
I had that in mind turns it not over. That's okay, because little minds don't understand the concept
00:47:40.200
of time yet. And so this is where a timer can come in really, really handy, where you're saying,
00:47:44.880
okay, you've got five minutes, see, look, and when this is done, then it's times up. And then I'm
00:47:48.540
going to give her five minutes, and then we'll go back and forth like that. So that can be one of the
00:47:53.320
ways to deal with potential conflict or to help them understand this concept of time and taking
00:47:59.220
turns. Another thing that is very helpful, too, is we, you know, I'm talking a lot about, you know,
00:48:06.540
look, seeing the child and teaching to the child and understanding the child and letting them pursue
00:48:10.240
their interests. Now, I don't want to, I don't want to come across as it's all about the child,
00:48:15.080
whatever the child wants to do, you just let them do what they do. That's not exactly the whole story,
00:48:19.880
because the other part of the story is, while they're learning, while they're pursuing their
00:48:24.420
interests, and while we are allowing them to flourish within the confines that God created
00:48:33.500
them to be, we're also teaching them where the limitations are and where they, I guess the word
00:48:41.840
I like to use is grit. So we have to, we do have to help them when tough times come, or when
00:48:49.360
something has to be done that they just don't want to do. For example, a lesson of math. I don't know
00:48:57.480
why, but it seems like this is like universally the truth. It, and possibly it's the repetition,
00:49:04.140
but math can only be learned by doing it over and over and over. And so you have it, you get to the
00:49:09.520
point where your child is like, I'm just, I can't do this. I don't want to do this. And they're sitting
00:49:14.060
at their desk and they've been there for like a long time. Just like, I don't want to finish this
00:49:17.800
lesson. And as the parent, you're going, but you have to, because you have finished the lesson and
00:49:22.940
isn't, there's nothing wrong. It's not that the child doesn't understand or anything. It's just that
00:49:26.320
they have to really just learn to sit down and do this thing that they don't want to do.
00:49:31.780
Um, so a timer in that case can be really helpful because you could, you could put a timer down and
00:49:40.120
say, listen, I'm going to give you, you're going to take the next 15 minutes and you're going to sit
00:49:44.580
at your desk and you're really going to focus and do your math. It's only 15 minutes. So put this
00:49:49.700
timer over here. And when that goes off, you can be done. So this is a way of showing them that,
00:49:55.240
um, there's a, there is going to be an end to this trial. There's absolutely going to be an end,
00:50:00.800
but you still have to go through it. I'm not going to let you off the hook. So here's 15 minutes. And
00:50:06.820
so at that point, it's not necessarily about getting the work done either. It's not about
00:50:10.560
getting the lesson done at that point. It's about training them to do something that they don't want
00:50:14.580
to do. And that's where a timer can help. Um, having said that a timer can also actually backfire
00:50:21.760
because certain kids, they don't have a concept of time, but once you show them time, they panic
00:50:27.160
because they don't know how in the world I'm going to get all this done in that amount of time,
00:50:32.900
there's just not possible. And so you've actually, um, created a scenario now where you're struggling,
00:50:39.460
your relationship is going to be compromised with your child because you're imposing something on
00:50:42.880
them that they can't cope with. And so in that case, uh, don't use a timer. Um, but then you use
00:50:48.760
some other kind of incentives, like you need to do this. You need to do, um, you need to, uh, get
00:50:55.120
dressed, put your clothes in the laundry, make your bed and come down for breakfast. As soon as that's
00:51:00.160
done, then I'll have this treat for your breakfast, or I'll have this or that for you so that they can
00:51:07.120
learn to, um, they can learn to persist and to get the task done. But because they, because time works
00:51:17.840
against them, um, they would, um, you would need to use treats or rewards to help that child. Um, so
00:51:25.140
there, so there's, there's different ways that you would want to work with a timer, but it doesn't work
00:51:31.040
universally. Yeah. I'm glad you also brought up the fact about motivators. Um, we do know what
00:51:39.660
motivates our kids and they can be used as useful tools as needed as well to get some of those must
00:51:47.520
do's done. Um, yeah, no, that's really good. I like to say, um, learn your child's currency.
00:51:56.760
So what is it that your child needs to get motivated or to get through a tough time? Uh, we have to,
00:52:05.560
we ultimately, we have to prepare our children for the hard time that they're going to face. Cause
00:52:10.480
it's going to happen. Every one of us faces something tough. So what, what's going to,
00:52:14.920
what's going to happen to you? What is your character? Cause that's when it's going to come
00:52:18.460
out is when you have to do something tough. Uh, so as parents, we can walk beside them and we can
00:52:24.140
guide them. And as we learn their currency and we teach them how they respond and how they react
00:52:29.040
and what they need, they will learn as they grow into adults to be self-regulated and to understand,
00:52:35.240
um, how they need to conduct themselves given a situation.
00:52:38.820
Yes. Let's talk about, um, a child's emotional tank. Yeah. We as adults have emotional tanks.
00:52:49.180
And at the end of a work day, we need to, uh, we don't either, we either don't want to talk to
00:52:55.440
anybody on the phone. When we come home, we want silence or we want to treat ourselves or whatever
00:53:00.780
children too. They too have emotional tanks. And how does it affect their schoolwork? And
00:53:07.240
does it apply to the older kids as well? Yeah, absolutely. It applies. I think it applies
00:53:12.720
more to the older kids than to the younger ones. As I'm heading into teenage years, um,
00:53:16.580
with my kids, uh, I think with the little ones, it's somewhat easier to parent because, you know,
00:53:25.080
you can, you can pick them up. You can pick up this distraught child crying and all the world's
00:53:30.340
falling apart. You can pick that child up and you can give that child a big hug and you can say,
00:53:33.760
everything's going to be okay. Mommy's here and they calm down and you know, that you just hug it
00:53:37.680
out and then they'll, they'll go off and they'll be fine. Um, that doesn't always work with teenagers,
00:53:42.400
especially, um, uh, yeah, as their problems get bigger. But I would say that, um, we need to,
00:53:51.240
in the little years, understand that a little person's problems are little, but that doesn't mean
00:53:58.480
that they're incredibly important to that little person. And so they're having an emotional trauma
00:54:04.580
over a sibling just came in and stomped their Lego house and we're going, Oh, come on. Just don't
00:54:11.400
like, yeah, that she shouldn't have done that, but like, just build another one or what, you know,
00:54:15.920
figure it out. And, you know, as a parent, you're, it's like, I got so much going on over here. I can't
00:54:20.960
deal with your stomped on Lego house, but that's actually really harmful because that little problem
00:54:27.400
to that little person was huge. It was a big deal. And so we need to address that for that little
00:54:33.220
person. We need to address that emotional trauma for them because if we don't address their little
00:54:38.660
things, which are actually big things to them, then when they become teenagers and they have a
00:54:45.780
problem, that's really an issue. And they have this huge emotional outburst about a problem. That's
00:54:51.660
now actually for us as parents, it's actually a problem, right? Because they're teenagers. Um,
00:54:56.660
we don't have that. We won't have that relationship with them at that point for them to come to us
00:55:02.060
with their problem. Because when they were a little person and they had a problem, we said,
00:55:06.400
it's not that big a deal. And so they figured out how to deal with it without us as parents.
00:55:10.200
Now they're teenagers, they have a problem and all they can hear is it's not that big a deal. And so
00:55:15.260
they're not going to come to us. So little people, little problems are big deals. And we have to
00:55:21.160
address that emotionally. And again, each child is going to have a different, um, way of coping with
00:55:28.800
it. But one thing that's quite universal is they need attention and support from parents. So you may
00:55:36.740
not even be able to solve a little person's problem, but what you can do is give them a hug and listen to
00:55:42.520
them and let them talk it out and cry and just, just have it out at you. Um, they it's, it's like,
00:55:51.600
it's like this, the storm and the waves are crashing and they need somewhere to crash, to break and to be
00:55:56.500
done. And you are that wall that they can crash on. Um, I talked about, um, this in one of my talks and
00:56:02.980
I, I learned a lot of this from, um, Gordon Neufeld. He's a child psychologist in here, actually in
00:56:08.800
Vancouver, and he's done so much work on understanding children's emotions. Um, one of the
00:56:14.000
things he talks about too, is, is this idea of futility. And when a little person has a problem,
00:56:20.440
it's not actually a problem, but they, it's, it's still something that needs to be addressed.
00:56:24.980
We actually need to allow them sometimes to experience the inability to resolve the problem.
00:56:31.360
They have to experience that because when you're a teenager or when you're an adult,
00:56:37.420
this is going to happen, problems are going to come at us that we cannot solve, that we cannot
00:56:42.400
cope with, that we, we can't resolve, we can't resolve the issue. So what has to happen?
00:56:46.880
Well, it's okay to cry. Um, I think Gordon Neufeld calls him tears of futility. So sometimes
00:56:52.240
you'll see this come up in a child's eyes and they'll just, they'll start crying and they'll be
00:56:55.760
like, well, it's okay, mom. You know, I, I know we can't fix it. And, um, I'm sure I'll build
00:57:03.160
another one and you have to let them cry and experience that relief or that allowing it to
00:57:09.220
come out that futility of it's problem. It can't be fixed, but I'm not going to die. Nothing's bad's
00:57:15.360
going to happen to me. Everything will be fine. Um, cause if we teach our children, this, that's
00:57:21.080
an emotionally healthy thing for them to experience. Um, and, and it like the, the most important book
00:57:28.680
I've read on that is it's called hold on to your kids. Um, this one here, hold on to your kids by
00:57:34.340
Gordon Neufeld again, but this one talks about the importance of parents in a child's life.
00:57:39.440
And especially in this day and age and in this culture, that emotional support to a child is
00:57:45.200
going to be the thing that makes them successful. Um, and they're finding this out in the States.
00:57:50.180
They've done a few studies on some of these kids who were homeschooled. Um, and they, you know,
00:57:54.580
I'm sure we've heard of them. They, they're homeschooled and they graduate at 15.
00:57:58.360
And then they've got their double PhDs at 18 and they become, you know, these super smart
00:58:03.280
people. And then you take a look at the parents and the parents are just, you know, suburban
00:58:07.900
blue collar. So the question is like, how did you get such smart kids? Well, the answer
00:58:13.700
is that it's not necessarily that the kids were so smart, but the kids had the emotional support
00:58:20.340
of their parents so that they could handle anything. They could face anything knowing that
00:58:25.500
they could always go home to mom and dad and they could express what they had to express.
00:58:29.700
And they could experience that feeling of futility when things didn't work out, or they could see
00:58:34.400
their parents being so proud of them. So, so the most important thing you can do as a homeschool
00:58:39.320
parent is be that emotional support for your child, not solve their problems, right? Don't solve
00:58:45.420
all their problems. Just be there so that those waves can crash on you as the wall that breaks
00:58:50.420
them. So good. It also just general parenting, you know, whether you're homeschooled or not,
00:59:00.640
these are really great tips for parents right through to teenagers. Let's talk a little bit
00:59:07.580
about more about character formation. Sometimes we get so caught up in curriculum. And I know when
00:59:15.140
we start, that's probably our biggest worry is the curriculum, curriculum, curriculum.
00:59:21.020
And it was mine. I'll be honest. When I first started, I was going to determine to have these
00:59:26.140
super smart kids and they were all going to be amazing and turn out and be these,
00:59:31.100
those PhDs you were talking about. But over time, and probably about four years in, I started to realize,
00:59:38.900
no, it's about character, character formation. Curriculum is a tool for learning and pursuing
00:59:47.280
and getting and reaching their goals. And they're all uniquely individually created and they all choose
00:59:53.440
their own path later in life. But what is the stuff that sustains them, like you said, to get to the,
01:00:01.320
the PhD and some other people, it's just fulfilling a goal or a dream. And so a lot of the things that
01:00:10.160
come to mind are like study habits, manners, and setting goals. Let's talk about that stuff.
01:00:16.960
Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's think about this. No one ever says, I want to raise a child who,
01:00:26.800
you know, I want to raise a child who works for a plumber nine to five and is the most contented
01:00:36.040
person and happily married. Why don't we say that? Why are we saying, oh, but you have to have better
01:00:42.180
marks and you have to go to college and you have to, why do we say that? Why are we not content with
01:00:49.540
raising human beings who will be content in whatever job they choose? It's not the job.
01:00:57.720
It's, as you say, it's the person. So when, so we, when we focus on the score on the marks or like,
01:01:05.880
they will hear us, they will, they will, that will flow through what, what, as the parents, as that is
01:01:11.660
the primary educators, what we are focusing on, what's important to us will de facto become important
01:01:17.280
to the child because that's what they're exposed to. That's what they hear all day. So the first
01:01:21.760
thing we need to do is take care of our own character. We have to take care that we ourselves
01:01:28.140
are being careful to pursue virtue, if you will, and be careful what we say about the people around us.
01:01:37.140
Something I was reading the other day is that we have to think about how often we complain
01:01:45.760
about something versus how often we say we are thankful about something. If we can take time every
01:01:52.500
single day to find something to be thankful for and in front of your children, just burst into praise
01:01:58.640
and thanks for this thing or this time or this space or this, whatever it is, that's hugely effective
01:02:04.640
to your child's character. And then check yourself when you're about to complain, check yourself when
01:02:08.780
you're about to make a comment that doesn't necessarily need to be made or a criticism, right?
01:02:12.360
So the first person, the first place to start is with yourself. And then the next thing to do is to
01:02:20.000
read good literature to your children. I think the most important character formation can be taught
01:02:25.780
using literature and to some degree reading the scriptures and not the part where it talks about
01:02:33.220
the 10 commandments because that part's really boring and preachy. If we say to our kids, you need to be
01:02:38.360
good and you must not steal, don't steal. Here's the 10 commandments says don't steal and then you put them
01:02:43.340
out on their way and they steal something. You're like, what's the matter with you? I told you you weren't
01:02:47.620
allowed to steal. It says right here in the Bible, don't steal. Well, the child will say, yeah, but you know,
01:02:52.420
I was at the supermarket and there was this beautiful heap of apples and I was really, really hungry
01:02:58.420
because I forgot my lunch and there's so many there and I could just take this one and the supermarket
01:03:03.720
keeper, he won't even know. And besides he has so many apples and it's only going to be like a dollar.
01:03:07.700
So is it actually stealing? And so you see in that child's mind, they had created a scenario where
01:03:13.000
they could put themselves into a place where they're not stealing. And this can happen. Children are
01:03:17.880
extremely imaginative. So we need to put positive, good, true and beautiful things in their imagination
01:03:26.340
so that they cannot imagine anything wrong or bad. And we can do that again by reading stories.
01:03:33.500
One of the most powerful books on that is called Tending the Heart of Virtue and it's by
01:03:38.220
Vigangorian. This one here, Tending the Heart of Virtue. And it's about how classic stories awaken a
01:03:44.340
child's moral imagination. Because think about this, a story can take a child to a time and a place
01:03:52.640
that you, you can't. Okay. You can take a child to save the children's crusades and you can tell a
01:04:00.020
story about what these children were going through, some of the trials they faced and what did they
01:04:04.840
believe and how they were acting on their faith and what they were told to do. That's a place where
01:04:09.760
you wouldn't even want to take your children if you could, but there are general principles in there
01:04:13.900
that you definitely want your child to understand and to take away. You can, and then again, fairy tales,
01:04:19.840
fairy tales are really important because fairy tales are able to break the mold of reality
01:04:23.760
and tell us things about moral law that we couldn't experience either. So for example,
01:04:31.960
the story Beauty and the Beast, which is horribly, horribly mangled by Disney. So when I say Beauty and
01:04:38.560
the Beast, don't think the Disney story. If you've ever read the actual Beauty and the Beast, you can find
01:04:45.460
it in a book called The Blue Fairy Book by Andrew Lang, called The Blue Fairy Book. I would strongly
01:04:53.040
recommend that as a start for fairy tales because he actually tells the real fairy tales. But in the
01:04:57.680
story Beauty and the Beast, she does have a horrible time coming to work with this beast and to try to
01:05:09.560
understand him. And in the end, she does fall in love with him and she does try to work with him to
01:05:16.360
change his character to make him better. And then he becomes, he actually turns out he's actually a man.
01:05:22.240
The moral of that story, the purpose of that story is to teach a child that something needs to be loved.
01:05:29.160
Sometimes something needs to be loved before it can be lovable. Right? So, and this,
01:05:36.100
parents, this is for us sometimes. Your child can sometimes be that thing that you're just like,
01:05:42.580
how do you belong to me? Why do I have to put up with you? I am at my wit's end and I don't know
01:05:48.120
what to do with you anymore. Well, a thing needs to be loved before it can be lovable. And this is,
01:05:55.260
this is maybe parenting in a nutshell. Not many other people would love our children all the time as
01:06:01.640
much as we do because they're not always very lovable. Um, so, so fairy tales will give us
01:06:07.240
those moral principles. Um, and, um, and a child can see through that much quicker than an adult can
01:06:15.860
again, because they haven't been, um, tempered by the world's kind of evil and cynicism. So I would say
01:06:23.480
read good books. So, so many good books and be careful because we're in a world where it's hard to find
01:06:29.620
good books really hard. And some of the world's agendas are sneaking into these books where it's
01:06:33.700
actually harder and harder to find good children's literature that doesn't have some kind of agenda
01:06:38.480
in it. Um, so you do want to be careful, but the, uh, a good way to know that you're, uh, reading good
01:06:45.320
books is just go back, read some classics, Little Red Riding Hood, um, read, read, um, there's a great
01:06:51.560
book called St. George and the Dragon, or, um, you know, there's anything by Barbara Cooney. Just keep,
01:06:57.660
keep those, anything that pre-1980, probably going to be okay. And there is so much out there. Uh,
01:07:10.480
I agree. And, uh, I guess that's where your bookstore would come in handy. You've got stuff
01:07:17.380
that would help people figure out how to find those books and have them available. Tell us about your
01:07:22.740
store and, um, yeah, what goes on in the store. I was there last year when I was asked to homeschool
01:07:31.360
my granddaughter for, from February to June. And I went in the store and I grabbed this classical
01:07:37.980
reader book. Cause I thought, well, and look how thin it is. So it's nothing overwhelming. Um,
01:07:43.860
it just told me in a nutshell, okay, this is, these are some great classics for kindergarten.
01:07:48.340
And I went, bingo. I got them all at the library. We were good. And, uh, there were some good stories
01:07:55.300
there. Um, yeah. Tell us about your store. Um, my store is an accident, but it is, it speaks to the
01:08:06.280
incredible demand and need for good literature, for good education, for people who are searching for,
01:08:17.760
the good, the true, and the beautiful. Um, it's, uh, it started primarily, it was started in my home,
01:08:25.060
in my basement. I was just working with a bunch of homeschool families and it's like, oh, I wanted
01:08:28.500
to bring in some of this curriculum or some of these books that were harder to get in Canada.
01:08:33.320
Um, and it kind of grew to the point where, well, we moved into a commercial location a couple of
01:08:37.960
years ago. Um, and it's, well, what I've done is over the years, I've curated a collection of
01:08:45.020
not just curriculum, but actual books like literature, the classics. And, um, it's kind
01:08:52.560
of developed a reputation where you can come, you can buy books from the bookstore and you can trust
01:08:57.800
that everything we sell is going to meet the standards, um, that the kind of universal Christian
01:09:03.380
standards, um, we're not going to go out on the skinny roots of like, uh, anything controversial
01:09:10.180
or that has maybe a bit of discussion where one family will want it, one family won't. If you want
01:09:15.280
those books, you can go to chapters, but if you want good, solid literature, you would come to our
01:09:20.360
bookstore. Um, some of the, um, yeah, so we, we've, we'd sell mostly online. That's where most of our
01:09:30.420
sales are. If you're in the Abbotsford area in the lower mainland, you can come into the store. If
01:09:34.500
you're driving through, we're right off of highway one. So it's very easy to access and you can come
01:09:38.520
through and you can actually see the books. Um, and actually I do want to, um, extend a special
01:09:44.660
offer, um, to your listeners doors, because, um, I do want to help them to find good literature
01:09:52.200
and understand like a lot of what I've curated in terms of the book collection has to do with
01:09:58.800
just being a good person or just helping your children with character formation. You don't have
01:10:04.440
to be a homeschooler. Um, grandparents come and shop. We get uncles and aunts. Um, the book
01:10:11.860
collection is, is kind of a standalone thing. Um, and so I did want to offer something to your
01:10:17.480
listeners doors. Um, I'll give you a coupon code. So if you wanted to go to our website,
01:10:22.420
you could use the code, um, action for Canada. So it's like action number four Canada. And if you'd
01:10:28.420
put any orders through our website and you use that code, you'll get a 15% discount on your order.
01:10:34.860
Um, just because, uh, we, we want to help you to curate your collection of really good books.
01:10:42.540
And, and to a large degree, it's hard to know what good books are. So get, even if you use our
01:10:49.420
website as a resource, go, well, what should, what could I read? What should my kids read? And just get
01:10:54.060
some titles and some authors from our website and go see if you can find those in the library or
01:10:58.680
find them at secondhand stores. You don't necessarily have to buy them from us, but it
01:11:01.760
is a list of books that will help. Um, and then of course the curriculum as well. So the curriculum
01:11:07.180
is largely, uh, curated to teach the it's, it's character like, but higher academic standard than
01:11:16.520
what you would find out there. So in, in a public school setting and what you'll find is like,
01:11:22.340
for example, we don't really have a language arts program. Cause as I said, I don't like
01:11:25.680
the term language arts, language arts doesn't really work. So we'll have a curriculum path
01:11:31.480
that you can follow that will take your children through that process I talked about earlier.
01:11:35.420
Um, and, and instead of saying, here's your grade one language arts, grade two language arts,
01:11:40.400
we don't do that. Um, so that's kind of how, yeah, that's, that's kind of what we've ended up
01:11:45.520
curating. And the, in seven years, we went from my basement into a commercial, uh, location. And
01:11:52.540
all I can say is that's just because, uh, people are looking for good materials to teach their
01:12:01.480
children and they're taking education seriously and actually making some changes.
01:12:06.080
So encouraging to hear that. Uh, I am completely all in on that and, uh, yeah, we need to get the
01:12:16.540
word out that, uh, you are available and your services. Um, as we close, um, do you have any
01:12:24.280
favorite books or do you have like your top one or two pieces of encouragement you want to leave with
01:12:30.320
us? Yeah. So, um, there's, I have two favorite books. Um, the first one should be in every
01:12:40.980
homeschool, uh, every home it's called teaching from rest. So if there's one book you read on
01:12:47.440
homeschooling, make it this one teaching from rest by Sarah McKenzie. It's very thin. See, just like
01:12:54.600
that. Um, so it's not going to take much to go through. Um, and it will give you so many tips on
01:13:06.020
how to keep your home peaceful, but primarily what it will do is help you keep your mind peaceful
01:13:13.160
because as a parent, as a homeschooling mom or dad, it, it, it makes or breaks in your own head.
01:13:21.520
So teaching from rest is helpful. Um, I would say that one. And then, um, this is a book,
01:13:28.620
but it's also more like a person that I highly recommend this one here, the life giving home
01:13:33.320
by, uh, Sarah, Sally and Sarah Clarkson. Um, so the life giving home talks about how you can make
01:13:42.500
your whole, your home and the place where you're going to be with your children, the majority of the
01:13:47.900
time, make your home a place where they, the children want to be, where they gather. And at
01:13:54.060
the, and, and even during the day or at the end of the day, or they want to come home to, especially
01:13:58.580
as teenagers, like, Oh, I just just want to be there in that place. Um, so Sally Clarkson talks about
01:14:04.620
that in the life giving home. She's actually, uh, one of the veteran homeschoolers. She, um, homeschooled
01:14:11.200
her four children way back in the day, her oldest daughter, Sarah is about my age. Um, just had her
01:14:17.600
fourth child, I believe. Um, and all of her four children, again, they're like highly successful.
01:14:24.480
Some of them, some of them had PhDs. Like, and she's, it's not, again, she's, it's not because
01:14:29.000
like her and her husband were such high academic achievers. They just emotionally supported these
01:14:33.320
kids. So when you read Sally Clarkson's books, you get a really good understanding as a parent of
01:14:39.320
how to come up, come up behind your child and support them, whether it is by making a beautiful
01:14:46.740
home or learning how to do very simple, quick recipes, because food is actually really important
01:14:52.460
to keeping your home lovely and, and inviting. So, so how can you, um, simple, simple food recipes and
01:14:59.380
things like that. So the life giving home, that would be the second one. And then just everything
01:15:03.440
Sally Clarkson, um, the, and that kind of, those are kind of my two final tips as well.
01:15:09.780
Everything has to do, like everything that's going to happen in your home, the peace of your home,
01:15:15.180
your children's education, it's going to be as successful as your brain, as your mind is. And so,
01:15:23.100
and what I mean by that is if you're frantic, if you're worried, if you're stressed, that will pour
01:15:29.180
into your home and it will affect the children. So you need to find a place where you can be at peace
01:15:36.280
and that a lot of that's going to happen in prayer. So never, ever underestimate the amount of prayer
01:15:44.840
that you should be doing. In fact, my son said to me the other day, um, is there such a thing as praying
01:15:48.580
too much? And I love that question because I could say, no, there just isn't. So, and prayer, there's two
01:15:56.420
things about prayer. One of them is we're appealing to our heavenly father and asking him to give us that
01:16:03.200
peace that we need and that calm, but we're also training ourselves to entrust ourselves to his
01:16:08.740
care and to his control. Because ultimately what's, what's happening, uh, is he's, these are his
01:16:18.120
children. He's given them to us for a small period of time, a very small period of time. And he, he's the
01:16:26.320
one, the Holy spirit is in them just as much. The Holy spirit is in us. And Jesus died for these
01:16:32.140
children. They're his, he loves them. So entrust your children to him and trust your circumstances
01:16:39.020
to him. Um, and, and be at peace and at rest that when things that what's happening in your home,
01:16:45.800
the circumstances in your life that are outside of your control are 100% within his control.
01:16:52.500
And the, the piece that that gives you, uh, is, is that, is that peace that surpasses all
01:16:58.920
understanding and that will, and then that will flow into your home. So that's what you're meditating
01:17:03.700
on. If that's what you, where you're turning over your trust, that's going to be the foundation for
01:17:08.620
your home. Um, and, and, um, and make good food, tea, food, hot chocolate, gather around the table.
01:17:17.700
That's more important than any curriculum and have good conversations with those kids,
01:17:22.140
engage their minds. The little ones make their little problems, big problems in your mind. The
01:17:27.040
big ones make their big problems, maybe a little smaller because they're not necessarily have to
01:17:32.100
be that big, but take them seriously. Um, yeah.
01:17:36.680
Wow. Fantastic advice. I could listen to you all day.
01:17:41.000
Really. Really. Thank you for spending time with us. Um, you also have a YouTube channel or YouTube,
01:17:52.060
Yeah. So you can find me on YouTube. Uh, if you search for the bookstore, search classical education
01:17:59.080
books and head over there, we have a YouTube channel. We have a bunch of, uh, I have a bunch of
01:18:04.900
talks on there from, we, we, we do a monthly event called curriculum conversations.
01:18:11.520
And it's happens the last Thursday of every month and they are now live in the bookstore. So you can
01:18:17.180
come in person. And we actually have this incredibly lovely group of people that come regularly. We have
01:18:23.000
new people coming every time. Sometimes we have to like put people where in our building is two
01:18:27.340
floors. Sometimes we have to put people on two floors cause we're too full. We can't fit them all
01:18:31.720
in the one room, but that's okay. Cause there's always coffee and treats. Um, and we just have this
01:18:35.640
lovely community here in, in the, in the store, but also online. It's live streams. If you're not
01:18:41.060
local, you can log in online and you can ask your questions live and I will address them as well.
01:18:46.000
Um, and, and you can let me know if there's something you want to hear, um, us address. I will,
01:18:51.680
I will put that in the, in the float this coming Thursday. So just in two days, we're having our next
01:18:57.460
live event. And that one I'm really excited about. It's going to be about how we define classical
01:19:03.840
education. And it's going to be focusing a largely on some of the stuff we've talked about today,
01:19:08.140
like character formation, the importance of literature, uh, and, uh, just some of the ideas
01:19:14.160
around classical education that people have that I want to dispel a lot of, um, preconceived notions.
01:19:19.900
No, it's wonderful. I was just thinking back on that book, teaching from rest. I'm wondering,
01:19:27.400
is that a kind of book too, that would really work well for a mom who's working perhaps part-time
01:19:32.800
and a little bit always consumed with, am I, am I enough? Are the kids getting enough? Yeah,
01:19:39.340
absolutely. Absolutely. Uh, she has, and the idea of, um, being in prayer and, and resting in the,
01:19:49.580
in the, in the almighty arms of our heavenly father that largely she, she talks about that
01:19:55.180
in this book quite a bit and, and how we need to be praying and even meditating. But then again,
01:20:00.980
this goes back to why we want to be reading poetry with our kids. You know, the biggest secret about
01:20:05.040
homeschooling is that as the parent, you're going to be the one who's the most educated and the most
01:20:09.300
at peace because the, because we've to a large degree, never encountered a lot of this absolutely
01:20:14.660
beautiful material. And so we will be transformed as well.
01:20:20.420
Very true. I was exposed learning and growing with my children all those years and wouldn't trade
01:20:27.660
it for anything. They were the best years ever. Thank you, Hester Van Brayden. We really appreciate
01:20:34.040
all your wisdom, your insight, and, um, your relevancy as you are currently also a homeschool mom.
01:20:41.060
And so you're, yeah, the young moms want to hear from real active, fully engaged homeschool parents
01:20:50.460
right now and, uh, hungry to learn and grow. So we really appreciate it. And, uh, we can find you
01:20:58.040
at, uh, classicaleducationbooks.ca. There's a, um, email link in there, correct?
01:21:03.320
There is. Yes. You can email us from the website and don't forget your code action for Canada
01:21:09.600
to get 15% off, especially we've got some really good Christmas stuff right now. Um, so yeah.
01:21:17.200
Wonderful. Thank you. So with that, we're going to say goodbye and Merry Christmas and see you in January.