Action4Canada - Answers to Your Homeschooling Questions

00:00:00.000 Good morning. I'm in BC, so it's morning. It might be afternoon where you are. My name

00:00:08.340 is Doris Livingstone, and I'm the homeschool lead at Action for Canada. And it's a true 1.00

00:00:13.860 joy to do this. I am a veteran myself, a homeschool veteran. I homeschooled my kids for 17 years,

00:00:24.300 K-12, and they're all doing very well in life and had the best years ever. So I'm just going to take

00:00:32.300 you over to our website, and I'm just going to show you how to find some information

00:00:41.180 on our website, everything regarding homeschooling. So this is the homepage,

00:00:47.180 and if you head over to current issues and scroll down, you will see homeschooling revolution.

00:00:56.460 And on here is everything homeschooling. So if you want to find your province,

00:01:06.700 you go to the directory here, and you choose your province.

00:01:14.620 And each one will show the homeschool association contact information, and it's all done alphabetical

00:01:22.700 order. And so I'm just going to go back on the screen. No, I'm not. I'm going to go back to the,

00:01:28.220 well, maybe I will. Yeah, I'm going to go there. Back on this screen, if you scroll down some more,

00:01:34.220 you'll see where all our homeschool webinars are, and just below that, the conventions.

00:01:42.300 So we've got some already listed here for 2025. And I'll keep adding them as we get more information

00:01:48.700 there. These ones were from last year, so you can see a little bit about what they were doing.

00:01:54.540 If you tap on homeschool webinars,

00:01:56.620 You can see everything we've done over the last year and a half. And great, great information there.

00:02:06.620 This one was really fun with Prepper Dan. He's from Nova Scotia. And just as a homeschool

00:02:13.900 dad, he talked about everyday educational creativity. I think he has

00:02:18.620 eight or nine, 10 kids. So he's a busy guy. And had to make the most of summer, which we're wrapping

00:02:27.980 up now as we move into the school year. And David Hunt from the Aristotle Foundation for Public Policy

00:02:35.660 Canada gave us a study, a research study on how homeschoolers are faring. And they interviewed,

00:02:44.300 I think they were from age 21 to age 39. And so there's lots of homeschoolers now that are in

00:02:55.420 their late 30s, early 40s. And how are they doing today? They scored high in almost every category.

00:03:01.900 I think like 99% higher than public school, higher than independent school, higher than Christian 1.00

00:03:09.260 school. So that was a really great interview to watch. Peter Stock is our president of

00:03:14.220 the Homeschool Legal Defense Association in Canada. And he also talked a bit about stats

00:03:19.740 and trends. That's a good one. Dorenda Wilson.

00:03:25.580 She's awesome. I've had her twice. And she's a speaker, author, podcaster. If you want to tap into

00:03:32.860 her website, DorendaWilson.com, she's got such encouraging information on staying the course

00:03:41.660 and every battle and issue you come up against. So I'm just going to stop the share there. I'm just

00:03:50.860 going to bring in a few more people.

00:03:55.340 And Lori, if you see them, just bring them in if you don't mind if you see that sign up there.

00:04:00.540 Thank you. Anyways, I'm just going to introduce you now to our panel of homeschool moms and leaders

00:04:11.980 across Canada. And we've got Jalene Hay and her husband, Dwayne. They live in BC with their four

00:04:20.460 children. They're ages seven to 16. Together, they run a home-based natural health and wellness business.

00:04:26.940 Entering their 11th year of homeschooling, Jalene is passionate about raising leaders

00:04:32.620 who are each empowered to fulfill their unique God-given purpose. She is a vocal advocate for

00:04:38.460 freedom and faith, a critical thinker, and a truth seeker. Welcome, Jalene.

00:04:44.860 And Lori Dunbar is a recently retired homeschool mom. After graduating two of her daughters,

00:04:50.860 in her home education journey, Lori served on the Saskatchewan School Board for four and a half

00:04:57.740 years, including a term as the interim president. Deeply convicted that education is discipleship,

00:05:04.140 Lori seeks to encourage parents to steward these years well. And we will be talking about that later

00:05:09.660 in the session. And finally, we have Emily Ross. She's a 48-year-old mom and chair of the PEI Home

00:05:17.420 Education Board entering her 14th year home educating. Two of her three children have since

00:05:24.060 graduated high school and moved on to other things. She began homeschooling when her first

00:05:28.940 two children were in public school. They actually approached her and asked her to teach them at home

00:05:34.140 in the summer between school years. She decided midway through August that it was worth at least

00:05:39.820 researching after recognizing their struggle in the classroom. Their laments of missing her while

00:05:46.380 away for the day, and their personalities changing in ways she didn't believe were beneficial.

00:05:52.300 Best decision she ever made. And so we're going to start there, Emily. Can you just tell us a little

00:05:58.940 bit more about that experience and how you got started homeschooling?

00:06:02.140 Yeah, sure. Hello, everyone. I think that's very succinct. But essentially, my daughter did grade one,

00:06:14.540 and then there was no kindergarten here on the island at that time. When my daughter entered grade two,

00:06:21.340 my son entered kindergarten. And then before they went into the next year, I pulled them out.

00:06:27.260 Um, like I said in that bio, um, my daughter's personality changed dramatically. Um, I, I really,

00:06:37.660 my husband and I were extremely worried that there was some sort of abuse or something that was going

00:06:42.940 on. It just was, did not make a lot of sense to us. The explosive behavior that she was having at home

00:06:49.660 after getting off the bus. Um, we learned that there was, um, a lot of negative interactions with her

00:06:58.140 and her teacher that year and, um, how she was made to feel being put on the spot and trying to cope.

00:07:05.180 And, um, it just wasn't boding well for her. Now, my son did wonderfully in class, but because I think

00:07:12.700 he was a little bit more forward thinking, he would have been ready for grade two. So he was bored.

00:07:18.380 And, um, yeah, just, it was, uh, those, all of this culmination of all of these things.

00:07:25.900 And then the last straw was them just asking me to homeschool them. We didn't know anybody

00:07:30.620 that homeschooled. They were just like, they saw the time I was a children's pastor and, uh,

00:07:36.060 in two different churches and they saw me as a teacher and they were just like, how come we can't

00:07:40.300 just stay home with you? And why can't you just teach us? And initially, uh, I was not interested in

00:07:46.940 that, but then I just thought, well, you know, it would be worth asking. So I literally just went

00:07:51.180 on Facebook and was like, does anybody know anybody locally that homeschools? And it turned

00:07:56.300 out that a lady that I had met at various Christian conferences, just as, um, you know, an acquaintance,

00:08:02.780 uh, actually homeschooled. And she met me literally the next day. And I am an early childhood educator.

00:08:08.620 So I was wondering, am I going to be qualified? Can I do this? Like, do I have the resources?

00:08:15.420 Cause I didn't have money to put into that. And, um, anyway, she just, uh, assured me that

00:08:21.100 I was in a good place and had what it takes and was off to a good start. And so I, so I did

00:08:27.340 two weeks before school started.

00:08:31.980 That's awesome. That's a great story. Thank you, Emily. Um, Jolene, you want to share your story,

00:08:37.420 why you got started and when? Yeah, absolutely. Okay. So I am not an educator. I knew really,

00:08:43.580 I didn't even know that I necessarily wanted to be a mom, but God just gave us these beautiful

00:08:48.180 children. And it's actually been such a beautiful calling. Um, I think for me, I grew up in a place,

00:08:54.940 again, no homeschooling, wasn't a thing around me. I thought homeschooled kids were super weird.

00:08:59.240 I just had that kind of stipulation in my head, that, that idea. Um, and then when we were going to

00:09:05.040 church, um, our children were really little and we met some homeschooled kids that were just

00:09:11.120 thriving and doing these really cool things and just experiencing, um, they were experiencing life

00:09:19.500 and doing things that I thought that's, that's an adult thing. Why are these kids doing these things?

00:09:23.680 And they're on the worship team and they're just doing neat things. And I thought, you know what,

00:09:27.240 this, this actually is something I should explore. So I would say it was definitely a deep conviction

00:09:32.080 from that beginning. And really when I started to look at it, it was that lifestyle. And, um,

00:09:38.500 you know, I just, I felt convicted. These were our children. And if we were going to send them to

00:09:43.000 Caesar, we would not expect them to turn out anything, but like Caesar. And I just, I wanted

00:09:48.080 something different for my kids. I wanted them to, um, to not have to experience the rush of life of

00:09:54.700 going to school and sending them off to school. And they're there being, you know, I'll say

00:09:58.480 indoctrinated in a lot of ways, um, not aware of what they're learning or, or that sort of a thing.

00:10:04.640 Um, we wanted to really kind of take that time and pour into our kids, unique and special giftings

00:10:10.240 and, um, allow them to experience a slower paced lifestyle, really pouring into what their specific

00:10:17.720 gifts and talents were. And so at kinder in kindergarten, when our daughter was going to

00:10:23.160 kindergarten, I just kind of took that leap of faith. And it's like, I don't know what I'm doing,

00:10:26.460 but we'll figure it out as we go with each kid year by year. And it's been absolutely such an

00:10:32.100 amazing experience. Um, lots of highs, lots of lows, but, um, the best decision we ever, ever made.

00:10:39.620 So, yeah, I agree. Best decision I ever made. Laura, you want to share your story?

00:10:46.620 Yeah, for sure. So I'm Lori Dunbar. I'm from Saskatchewan and I just finished my 14th year

00:10:52.980 homeschooling and now my kids are all done. So I actually have four children, two stepkids

00:10:59.040 that actually went through the public school system. And when they were in elementary school,

00:11:04.500 we realized, okay, this isn't actually working. We are just finding that they were running behind

00:11:09.880 and not meeting our expectations that we found out were actually higher than the school boards.

00:11:16.260 And so we started thinking, you know what, doing the same thing twice and expecting different

00:11:21.100 results is probably not wise. So when our younger two were, we're growing up and getting near school

00:11:28.020 age, we just thought, you know what, let's just try homeschooling. Let's see if it works for us,

00:11:33.520 maybe do it for a few years and give them a good foundation. So we did and found out that we loved

00:11:40.800 it. And I did it for educational reasons, but actually what kept me going was discipleship,

00:11:46.500 realizing that I can disciple my kids. I can give them, you know, like almost a Bible college

00:11:52.000 experience all the way through their schooling and have these wonderful relationships and give

00:11:57.000 them opportunities that they couldn't have otherwise. And our schedule was just very flexible and just

00:12:04.080 the, even the interaction and the relationship that they had was just so worthwhile. So yeah, so I've

00:12:11.400 had two kids go through the school system in public and private education, Christian education, and then

00:12:17.360 two kids fully homeschooled all the way through and I have loved it. So

00:12:21.620 That's wonderful. Laurie, let's, let's start with you on the first question. Am I good enough? And am I

00:12:30.860 qualified to do the job to teach our kids at home?

00:12:35.160 Well, God thinks so because he gave you those kids. And if you can potty train your kids,

00:12:43.240 if you can teach them their colors, you know what it takes to educate your kids and you will love them

00:12:49.900 and you will be more aware of their strengths and weaknesses and how to play to their strengths

00:12:55.780 than any teacher can ever. So when those kids go into a classroom of 25, 30 or so kids,

00:13:03.720 they're not being loved individually. They're not, the curriculum is not being geared towards them.

00:13:09.860 It is very, a general curriculum. So when you get to be at home with your kids, you get to

00:13:16.540 personalize their studies. You get to help them to go at their pace. I found that it's amazing how

00:13:23.240 different brains develop at different times and you get to watch this and you get to experience like,

00:13:29.740 okay, I think they're ready for this. Or, you know what, that's actually not working. Instead

00:13:33.880 of making them feel stupid or like they're not good enough, let's just hold off on that for a 0.99

00:13:39.780 little while and let's revisit that in a little while. So even if you don't have like, you know, 0.97

00:13:44.420 a degree or, or letters behind your name, God says that you are completely qualified to raise

00:13:51.740 and to educate your children. And it's not something that we can, uh, in our culture,

00:13:57.600 we just, we think that, you know, everything has to be a certain way because we've been taught that.

00:14:02.620 And it's just not true. So like Romans 12 talks about, don't be conformed to the pattern of this

00:14:08.180 world. And that means education as well. That means that we can think differently about education.

00:14:13.160 And if you look at, look back at a lot of the geniuses in the times past, they were educated

00:14:19.440 at home by moms that didn't have, you know, a whole lot of education themselves. They just gave

00:14:24.720 opportunities to learn and to grow and an environment where they can succeed. So yeah, you are fully

00:14:32.800 qualified to educate your children. Truly. And Emily, if I want to flip the question around,

00:14:39.420 we were just talking prior to going live here about, um, the personality of the parent.

00:14:46.040 And in your case, as a mom, um, sometimes like we're so concerned about the children, but as a mom,

00:14:54.540 we are, we, we too have our own learning styles. And so, um, I was a bit eclectic. I was all over the

00:15:02.140 place with different kids, according to them, but you know, my mind was a racer. So just talk a

00:15:09.360 little bit about what you're telling us earlier about as a parent and being a teacher.

00:15:16.800 Well, uh, I, I'm sure I have ADHD. Uh, I'm, we have some neuro spicy people in our family and, um,

00:15:28.820 yeah, I think that I'll tell you a little story, like at the first six months, uh, or so of

00:15:38.100 homeschooling, I actually had a giant breakdown and I went to, uh, we were taking music classes

00:15:45.180 with other homeschooler kids. And I was talking with parents and there was a particular parent

00:15:51.000 there that just very calm, stable, beautiful Christian woman. And, um, was a seasoned homeschooler.

00:15:57.480 And I just said, like, I don't think I can do this anymore. I feel like it has brought out the

00:16:02.340 ugly in me and I don't like who I am. I don't think that this is best for my kids. Um, and like,

00:16:12.160 I feel like I'm just failing. And she said something to me that I think, you know, we've heard other

00:16:17.920 times, but you know, how, when God just speaks in that, just that perfect moment that just touches

00:16:22.640 your heart. And she said, you know, Emily, just because it's hard doesn't mean it's not worth it.

00:16:28.520 And, um, it really helps me to evaluate like, what is my, why, why am I homeschooling? And like,

00:16:36.660 how did God make me? And isn't that good? And, um, maybe the ugly that I felt it was coming out

00:16:44.380 wasn't new. It's just stuff in my heart. That's bubbling up under pressure that I need to submit

00:16:52.280 to Christ and to learn how to be discipled by him. And I think at that moment, I realized that

00:16:59.900 homeschooling wasn't just for my kids formation of character, but also for mine and that God was

00:17:06.420 going to use that, um, fire that, uh, to be a training time for, for both of us. And so it was

00:17:16.360 okay that, um, I wasn't like other homeschool moms. It was okay that I thought differently.

00:17:22.000 It was okay, even that I struggled and that I could be honest with my kids about that,

00:17:26.920 that we could dialogue, um, and that I could learn from them. I didn't need to know everything.

00:17:32.500 God would train me and show me my next steps as I relied on him.

00:17:38.440 Perfect. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing that. I think we can all nod our heads as mothers.

00:17:43.740 We've all learned that we've learned probably just equally as much as our children through

00:17:49.560 the journey of being the parent on that side of things. Um, Lori, how will I get my kids to listen

00:17:55.720 to me? A lot of relationship, doesn't it? You know, um, my, my daughters at home are still teenagers 0.96

00:18:06.400 actually. And, uh, I've been thinking a lot about this, about, um, your kids will, will do more out

00:18:15.020 of obedience to you because they know of your love than they will if they are just told to obey or

00:18:23.240 told, oh, honor your mother or whatever. It's, I think it's actually a lot to do with relationship

00:18:29.580 that they are, that they are seen, that they are heard, that they are, they know that they're

00:18:34.700 understood and, and when they are understood and when they have that good relationship, then they,

00:18:41.400 they're happy to obey. In my, in my experience with my four kids, it's, it's a lot about relationship.

00:18:49.520 Um, but also it's, it has to do with, with your, your habits. So if you don't expect them to listen,

00:18:58.320 then, then they're probably not going to. And if you don't follow through with what you've just said,

00:19:03.220 if you said, we're going to leave in five minutes, then you need to leave in five minutes. And if you,

00:19:09.160 um, if you have that pattern of, of them not listening to you, then, then that's okay. I was at a,

00:19:16.320 a beach this summer and, and I was watching a mom with her son and, and she probably told him for

00:19:23.560 about 45 minutes to get out of the water and that they were going to leave. And she didn't,

00:19:29.200 she didn't, you could tell it was already set that he didn't have to listen, that there weren't

00:19:34.280 consequences to his actions and they don't need to be, um, emotional consequences for you. It's

00:19:40.980 actually better if they're not emotional, if they're very matter of fact, like, oh, that's too bad.

00:19:45.440 I guess you won't be able to blank. So if they, if they can understand that you mean what you say

00:19:52.520 and you have reasonable expectations. So, you know what, if they need a 10 minute warning that,

00:19:57.240 you know, okay, we're going to change subjects or we're going to be doing this soon, or they know

00:20:01.920 the expectation is set on them and understanding that they have different needs. One of my children,

00:20:08.860 um, really, really likes to be early. She would like to be the first one to everything. And that

00:20:14.080 doesn't always work out. And sometimes I would work with that, um, and, and help her with her 0.94

00:20:19.180 anxiety about that, but also understand that that's really important to her. So when I could

00:20:24.500 get early, when she could be there early, then I would facilitate that. So understanding your kids

00:20:30.120 and you knowing their needs versus wants, and then knowing your love for them, uh, goes a long way

00:20:38.360 in, in, in a relationship. And I think we all understand that, that you will do more out of

00:20:42.920 love than you will out of obligation. I think also just to add to everything you said, Lori, I agree.

00:20:50.560 It's really a key component of that is actually communicating what your expectations and your

00:20:58.580 goals are, right? If you want your kids to listen to you, they have to know what the expectations are.

00:21:03.400 If it's just in your head, if you forget to communicate that, then it's very confusing for

00:21:09.560 children. So just a really key, very practical, like recommendation for people, if you want your

00:21:15.260 children to listen to you is to actually figure out what you're expecting. And if that's reasonable

00:21:20.940 and communicate that well to your children and you know what your goals are, and those can even come

00:21:27.880 with like piggybacking off of your idea of the relationship is also listening to your kids.

00:21:34.380 Like what, you know, if you want your kids to listen to you, you need to listen to them. What are their

00:21:38.720 needs? Like you said, and make it, you know, cooperative so that, you know, um, they're understanding

00:21:46.560 the reasonings for your expectations. I think it's also much easier for someone to follow someone else's

00:21:53.320 lead. If they know where they're going and they know why they're going there and reasonable

00:21:59.700 expectations to just, again, with what Emily was saying, if you're telling an ADHD child to do

00:22:07.520 something, that's not going to be possible for them, you're setting them up for failure. But if you

00:22:12.320 can understand that, you know, their personalities and their strengths and their age and what's reasonable

00:22:17.280 so that you can set them up for success, that's, that's important. You know, one of the very first

00:22:23.680 things I remember hearing a speaker, probably in the 90s, because I started in 90, when did I start?

00:22:31.640 95? And, um, it, it stayed with me my whole years of homeschooling was, um, establishing discipline in

00:22:41.680 the home. And what, what that means is like, the discipline, the expectations and the things we've just

00:22:47.860 talked about. And for some of you who are just starting, you're probably thinking, well, I don't know how

00:22:54.240 that's going to happen. That's okay. You have like, a year, two years, it takes a while for mom and kids to

00:23:03.840 figure out those roles in that area, in actually all of the areas that we're going to be talking about today.

00:23:11.200 And so part of what we're doing here today is to encourage you to just lean back and enjoy, um, the

00:23:21.920 next year, the next two years, um, as you establish all these things, um, one at a time, sometimes two

00:23:29.580 or three at once, but it will come together. And, um, we are always here for you. You can always reach

00:23:35.960 out to us at action for Canada. If you have questions, um, and I'll put my email in the chat

00:23:44.080 there. And I also wanted to say, if you do have questions, um, you can pop them in the chat. We will

00:23:50.280 have a Q and a, if we have enough time at the end, we can also have some discussion. So Jolene, we're

00:23:56.420 going to move on to the next question. Will my kids meet the learning outcomes? Maybe first describe

00:24:03.680 what learning outcomes, what it means and, and then go from there. Sure. Okay. Well, my first

00:24:10.740 question would be whose learning outcomes are you trying to meet? Right? So we have a couple of

00:24:16.560 different routes that you can take as homeschoolers. I know it's different across the Canada and depending

00:24:21.100 where you're from, what the, those particular learning outcomes might be. Um, in BC, you have

00:24:26.720 a route of going as an enrolled student, where you have an expectation to meet the BC ministries,

00:24:33.000 educate education, ministries, outcomes, learning outcomes. And a lot of these, they changed recently.

00:24:38.200 So they're not like, they have to do A, B, C, and D, as opposed to like, these are the specific

00:24:43.300 skills that we're looking for. So if they're, if you're just looking to get those specific skills

00:24:48.200 skills or whatever those learning outcomes might be, um, there's so many different options for

00:24:52.340 curriculums and resources and co-ops and that sort of a thing that you can tap into. But I think even

00:24:57.900 more importantly than that is, is understanding like, what are the learning outcomes that you're

00:25:02.120 actually looking for? Is it because you want to meet the government of BC's learning outcomes,

00:25:06.780 or do you have specific learning outcomes for your individual child? Um, in BC, we have a registered

00:25:13.060 route again. Um, that's your other option. And with that one, there, there isn't an expectation

00:25:17.180 to meet the registries or the ministries outcomes, but really, um, there's that freedom to really

00:25:23.820 explore your individual child. And maybe your child is extremely mechanically driven or they're

00:25:29.680 extremely mathematic and you can really pour in and develop those specific areas. And I think that's

00:25:35.160 one of the really beautiful things about homeschooling is that you can, you can prepare your children

00:25:41.120 to meet, um, what their specific and unique calling is, and you can really design an education and a love

00:25:47.980 of learning around those particular skills. And I mean, I think, I think what I've noticed when I look at

00:25:54.760 what, um, you know, what we put out in the general, um, school system is that we pump out these kids that 0.80

00:26:02.280 have an expectation to do science and socials and English and language and math. And just all of these,

00:26:08.280 this kind of a jack of all trades kind of a thing, as opposed to really putting out people who are

00:26:14.460 specifically experts in whatever their field is. And I think if we can create that love of learning

00:26:21.240 and that desire within our children for them to really kind of grasp that love of learning and

00:26:25.760 explore what those outcomes are for themselves, setting specific goals as they get older, obviously

00:26:30.760 the goals of a kindergartner are going to be very different than somebody who's in high school.

00:26:34.780 But, um, I, I would suggest just really getting, um, passionate about what your why is for yourself

00:26:42.060 as an educator, as the one who's leading your children and then helping your children to develop

00:26:46.380 that why for themselves, what is it that they're really wanting to, to learn that particular year

00:26:52.200 or, um, or that sort of thing. And then, and then you can find curriculum and that sort of thing to

00:26:57.800 support those particular desires and goals that you have. So that's kind of my suggestion there.

00:27:05.500 Jolene, why don't we, um, move into curriculum and how to find curriculum, um, and the right

00:27:13.020 curriculum that matches that child's learning style?

00:27:16.740 Yeah. Okay. So that's always going to be something that is going to be so individualized. And I think

00:27:22.320 that's, again, one of the beautiful things about homeschooling is that you can find curriculum that

00:27:26.540 meets that child's need. Um, so, you know, we've got four kids, they all have different personalities

00:27:32.460 and different ways that they learn. So, um, what I've used with my first child might not be the

00:27:37.920 curriculum I use with my fourth child because they're different people. And so I would say,

00:27:42.380 um, one of the, one of the suggestions I have is be okay to pivot and understand that the curriculum

00:27:48.000 is a tool. It is not everything. It is not like you have to go through and checkbox every single

00:27:54.060 lesson and every single resource that they lead you to, but, but be prepared to pivot and, and really,

00:28:00.340 you know, use those curriculum and tools to help your, your children learn. Um, and then be okay

00:28:05.560 of switching. Like last year we ended up switching our daughter's math curriculum partway through the

00:28:10.760 year because I was watching her and I was like, they're just, you know, I've used this curriculum

00:28:14.860 with my other two kids. Why is it not reaching her? Why is it not working for her? And so we ended

00:28:19.820 up switching and trying something new and she just, she loved learning again. Right. Um, so I think

00:28:26.260 just being open to pivoting, there's a lot of amazing organizations and depending on where you are,

00:28:32.140 if you have a teacher that works with you or just different moms, talk to moms about what they're

00:28:37.140 using and what they're working. Most curriculum, um, suppliers actually have, um, printable, um,

00:28:45.160 like, um, chapters that they can, that you can use, that you can bring in and actually just try with

00:28:49.480 your kids and see, does it stick? Does it work? Um, and, and try a few different things and see what,

00:28:55.640 what helps that unique and individual child to learn.

00:28:59.360 Yeah. I think also, if you can find something that you're excited about as a parent, your kids

00:29:07.400 are going to like gravitate to that and they're going to be excited about it. And like, and one

00:29:13.280 of the things that says, where can I find curriculum? Like, uh, when I first started homeschooling,

00:29:18.280 I was drowning in all of these, like, you know, who's Charlotte Mason and what's, you know,

00:29:24.980 like just all these, uh, just was so overwhelming for me. Um, it wasn't until that spring that I went

00:29:33.880 to a homeschool conference and I was able to put my hands on touch, feel, look through, um,

00:29:42.580 has talking to other people and everything. I was just, I'm a visual person for me to be able to

00:29:47.360 actually just look at the curriculum. If you know, somebody's homeschooling to ask them,

00:29:51.880 can I actually see that? Like, can I flip through that? Can I borrow that for a week

00:29:56.480 and see if that might be something that you like? Um, and that might spark, you know,

00:30:02.720 interest for you or whatever. And I love what you said about pivoting. I have that on my notes. I said,

00:30:07.820 are you going to persevere or are you going to pivot? It's hard sometimes to know what to do

00:30:12.080 because you want to teach your children how to be diligent. You want to teach them how to work hard

00:30:16.500 and to push through. Frustration is not always a bad thing. Um, learning how to power through

00:30:22.700 your frustration and, you know, work hard is not, is a, is a skill. Um, but you do things until it

00:30:31.020 doesn't work. If it's not working, it's okay to pivot. No, I agree. Um, I, I had to do a few changes

00:30:40.200 myself. And like you said, these conventions, um, for me were like my lifeline because being able to

00:30:48.280 go and look and, uh, see the curriculum like you, Emily, I, I had to see it and I know I borrowed

00:30:56.200 stuff from Jolene and it worked really well for my granddaughter. And, um, I find curriculum over the

00:31:05.660 years had to resonate with me. I thought if I remember in the early days, like there was these

00:31:10.960 big, thick books from a university for homeschoolers. And I went, wow, we're going to get smart kids, but

00:31:18.760 I don't get anything out of the book. I was completely overwhelmed. And that was when I

00:31:25.560 started asking around, what are you using? What are you using? Can I look at that? Can I try it for a day?

00:31:30.440 Whatever. Right. And it comes, it just, again, you got to give yourself time. And if you're just

00:31:35.720 starting out and that's okay, um, BC and Alberta, I'm not sure about across the country, but they do

00:31:42.620 offer curriculum packages when you, depending on the school that you register under, um, sometimes

00:31:49.860 those work very well, but oftentimes parents do have a say in, um, saying, can we, can we swap this

00:31:57.940 out for science? And can we use this? Cause I, I feel like this is going to work better for my child.

00:32:03.100 I did that, um, when that first was implemented in BC and, uh, they were totally fine. Parents were

00:32:11.040 still in control. And, um, so there's different ways to do it. And the only way really to know how

00:32:17.260 your laws work in your province is, uh, go back to our, our website where it lists the directory,

00:32:25.800 all the provinces reach out to your provincial association and find out how, um, your options

00:32:33.080 are for your, your province. Cause I'm sure they're a little different for you, Emily, and for you,

00:32:38.140 Lori, right in your provinces. Um, but teamwork, you share ideas and that's what support groups are also

00:32:45.600 all about. Can I just add something too, when it comes to curriculum, I want to encourage people.

00:32:52.060 It is not just about what you're going to learn in the books. The books are there. They're a great

00:32:56.480 tool. They give you some guidance and kind of a bit of a system, but we've had the opportunity.

00:33:01.000 And I've always had this dream in me since I was, you know, before I even had kids that I,

00:33:06.240 I didn't want my kids to learn about Rome from a textbook. I wanted them to walk the streets of

00:33:10.520 Rome, right? There's just something so valuable with just living life together and having those

00:33:16.800 conversations and being around people and learning different skills. And so you're not just going to get

00:33:22.000 all of your education from a textbook or sitting in a classroom. In fact, like a classroom is not

00:33:26.840 necessarily the best type of a setting for a lot of kids. In fact, most kids. And so getting out into

00:33:33.100 the world and actually experiencing things and talking to other people. And, you know, like as

00:33:39.440 my kids are getting older, I'm looking at my 13 year old son and I'm kind of like, he's kind of

00:33:44.280 getting to the point where he, you know, he's hit the books aren't really doing it for him,

00:33:47.860 but if you can get that kid and get his hands into something, if he can get his hands dirty,

00:33:52.200 if he can have a conversation with somebody who would be a good mentor for him, those are kind of

00:33:57.220 the, the, the experiences that I'm looking for now. So it's less about curriculum for, in a lot of ways,

00:34:03.420 as it is just like looking for opportunities for them to learn and develop more skills and that sort

00:34:09.440 of a thing in the areas that they're really intrigued with and what they're excited to learn about.

00:34:13.740 And so, and, and also just getting their hand, like their hands on good quality literature and

00:34:18.860 good books. There's so much that they can learn just by reading. So if we can create that love

00:34:23.800 of learning and that love of reading, those are kind of the big skills that will propel our kids

00:34:28.380 into really achieving what their goals are and just open the doors of possibility for what they

00:34:33.440 can learn. So it's less about the curriculum. Again, those are the tools, but it's not everything.

00:34:38.240 So yeah. If I can just add that if you have multiple children, if you can group your, your

00:34:47.260 subjects and do like maybe social studies all together, or, you know, even science, depending

00:34:53.840 on the age group all together, there's some curriculum that you can do and use that way as

00:34:59.040 well, or unit studies gather round. There's lots of different resources. So you don't feel like you

00:35:04.340 have to get a single curriculum for each and every child. So they can all have different curriculum,

00:35:09.380 but generally speaking, maths are the one that, um, maths and, and, and your language development,

00:35:16.300 where you're writing, spelling, those kinds of things are going to have to be individualized,

00:35:20.020 but so much can actually be, um, done for multiple age groups. So, you know, you can,

00:35:26.200 you can teach to your higher age groups. So if you have a grade six and you have a kindergarten,

00:35:31.160 that kindergartner will pick up what they can from the grade six level, and you can make it

00:35:37.700 interactive, like, um, you know, like, okay, we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna outline what a

00:35:44.160 canoe would look like on the St. Lawrence river or something like that to involve your, your,

00:35:48.980 you know, five or six year old, but you can really gear it towards your older children. So

00:35:53.460 I love doing that. I loved being able to do as much as we could together. So that kind of simplifies

00:35:59.620 your day too. I'm just having a thought here, maybe in the future, we'll cover a couple of

00:36:05.940 webinars, one on us teaching, uh, styles. So Emily, you talked about Charlotte Mason, that was,

00:36:15.120 um, a style I did gravitate to, cause it freed me up. It was the great approach, but it doesn't work

00:36:21.620 for everybody. And sometimes you're going to hear these things popping around as, as new homeschoolers,

00:36:27.180 you're going, I don't know what that means. Or like, even, uh, when we said the word, um,

00:36:33.860 like, uh, a co-op or a pod, like, what are those? Right. And maybe Jalene, just talk a little bit

00:36:39.700 about what a co-op is and what it looks like. Yeah, that's awesome. I love co-ops there. They're

00:36:45.360 basically a group learning environment for kids. So there's different, there's parent run co-ops,

00:36:50.960 there's, um, community co-ops, there's, um, we have one here that's run by a homeschool organization.

00:36:57.600 So there's different ways of doing it. What a co-op does is it kind of gives your kids an

00:37:01.580 opportunity to be around other kids. And usually it's kind of a range of kids. So they're not all

00:37:06.680 just like grade ones with grade ones and grade twos with grade twos. There's oftentimes, um, a little

00:37:11.680 bit of a variety in those ages, which I think is actually so valuable for our kids. Um, but a co-op,

00:37:17.940 it just kind of gives, um, a little bit of that community learning environment for your kids a

00:37:23.340 little bit more like a school, but still, um, oftentimes you're controlling what they're learning

00:37:28.080 and, um, oftentimes their parent runs. So one parent might be like, I'm really passionate about

00:37:32.480 art. I'm going to teach art. And another one might be, I'm very passionate about literature.

00:37:36.320 I want to teach literature. So there's different opportunities. Um, and you can really, again,

00:37:41.120 again, you'll hear me say this over and over again. I love just kind of honing in on your specific

00:37:45.520 skills and giftings and talents and, and, and using those. Um, and I think as moms, we can,

00:37:51.220 we can use our own skills and our talents to, to help not just our own kids, but other kids as well.

00:37:55.580 And so co-ops often give that opportunity for that group learning environment and for you to kind of

00:38:01.180 take some of the things off of your plate and maybe kind of share that responsibility. And, um,

00:38:07.040 and I'll say too, if you can get into a parent run co-op, there's just something so valuable

00:38:11.440 for you as a parent to be, um, alongside other homeschool families. And it gives you, you know,

00:38:18.140 you'll realize very quickly that we all feel like we're ill-equipped to do this at times. We feel

00:38:23.360 like we're all failing at times and you'll know like, okay, lift each other up, remind each other

00:38:28.000 why you're doing this. And there's just something so special about that community aspect of a co-op.

00:38:32.860 And so, um, I would suggest if you don't have a co-op in your area, make one, find another family

00:38:39.000 that you can, you can run with. Um, even if like, if you live out in the middle of nowhere,

00:38:44.200 find a way of doing it and connecting with other families, even online or something like that,

00:38:48.680 where you're just, um, being able to connect in regularly with that community. But, um, yeah,

00:38:54.140 there's just so many possibilities when it comes to, to that. Another benefit co-op is for the child

00:39:02.140 to experience having somebody else as a teacher. Um, I think that that's really beneficial to see that

00:39:08.140 people do things differently there. If they've only been homeschooled, then, you know, they might

00:39:13.000 have a Sunday school teacher or like, you know, but they would have very limited, um, you know,

00:39:17.860 other people as a rule as that rule in their life. So I think it's also beautiful that for them to see

00:39:24.160 and to meet with other people. And for you, if it's a parent run co-op, which I was involved with

00:39:28.460 lots of years ago to learn from each other, right. Um, teaching techniques and interacting. And like you

00:39:35.260 said, support, but just wanted to add that benefit is, is, is also just for them, for your child to

00:39:41.960 have, you know, experience with multiple, um, or different teaching styles and people.

00:39:48.420 Yeah, no, that's for sure. Lori, I noticed your comment in the chat about unit studies. Um, I remember

00:39:54.180 the first time I heard that word, I went, what is a unit study? Could you explain that and, uh, and

00:40:01.320 the benefits of it? Yeah. So unit studies just incorporate different subjects in studying one

00:40:07.780 thing. So, um, if you're studying maybe Europe for one unit study or something like that, then you're

00:40:16.020 going to actually be reading some, some of the, uh, literary works from that area. Or if it was like

00:40:24.320 ancient Rome, you might be reading some ancient, um, poems or something like that. And you'll also

00:40:30.640 look into some of the, maybe the, um, discoveries, the scientific discoveries of that, or, so it just,

00:40:37.880 it incorporates several different subjects in the one, um, area of study. So they're going to try to

00:40:45.460 do like history or social studies or science or, and language and math, like all in one subject. So it

00:40:54.300 just helps with, with being able to, you know, cover a bunch at the same time, especially for young

00:41:00.060 kids. And so, you know, for the month you're going to be studying one area. So whether that be, you

00:41:05.600 know, like again, ancient Rome, like kind of what Jillian was saying. So you might be cooking some food

00:41:10.520 from, from that time period. Maybe it's over an open fire or maybe it's, you know, so it's just,

00:41:16.160 it's experiencing it in different ways that you can, um, kind of make it come to life for them

00:41:21.240 and, and, and incorporate it into your whole day. It's fun. Yeah. The one thing I loved about unit

00:41:29.120 studies, which I did a lot of, um, is the experiences, um, in hindsight, the, what I valued most and what I

00:41:40.540 would encourage is touch and feel and experience and taste and walk and explore and, um, try and try

00:41:52.780 again. And yeah, you've got your formal papers to do in the morning, but like do hands on that. I mean,

00:42:01.980 I know for me, I learned best that way too, instead of somebody telling me what to do, it's like, I want

00:42:07.940 to do it. And I've watched it in my children and now in my grandchildren that when I give them the

00:42:14.320 chance to do it, um, like that's mix the, mix the bowl or whatever, they're far more engaged and you

00:42:22.120 can talk while you're mixing the bowl and why you add this and stir it at a certain time, et cetera.

00:42:29.820 So yeah, that's what you do actually outside those formal hours, which maybe we'll go there now

00:42:37.640 Emily, what do I do with my kids after their formal schoolwork is done?

00:42:45.540 Yeah, I liked that question. Um, uh, Jalene spoke a lot to specific gifting and, uh, one of my

00:42:54.000 favorite things about, um, being homeschooled is that my children have had ample time to cultivate

00:43:04.440 their own interests. So, uh, my daughter follows very much in my husband's, um, footsteps and she did

00:43:13.260 so much art in her free time. She never could have done that. If she was in a public school,

00:43:19.280 my son fell in love with, um, magic like cards and, and tricks. And, uh, he just,

00:43:28.080 the kid would sit down and read and like, I'm not kidding, like encyclopedias and manuals

00:43:34.260 of how to do various things. Now my daughter's graduated from a graphic design program and

00:43:40.160 is trying to figure out what next art thing she wants to do. And my son is a professional magician.

00:43:45.500 He gets paid a lot of money to, you know, do cocktail parties and festivals and birthday parties.

00:43:52.380 And, you know, those are the things that, that they, I don't believe they would be like living

00:43:59.040 out their passions and doing the things that they love. If they didn't have this extra time

00:44:04.620 to cultivate the things that they were interested in. So I wrote a list here. I said, what do I do

00:44:10.980 with my kids after their formal work is done? First of all, I wrote underneath with, with a

00:44:15.400 question mark, like, does it have to be with me? And I like, I don't have to be with my child

00:44:20.220 that full day. They it's healthy for them to be alone. It's healthy. Not, not saying that I don't

00:44:26.440 ever want to spend time with my children, but you know, it's healthy for them to, um, you know,

00:44:31.720 direct some of their own day and have some of that own, own time. So I said, you know, you use that

00:44:36.880 time to steward your home. Well, you use that time to practice hospitality. You use that time to seek

00:44:42.800 after the Lord in your own private time. You use that time to relax, to go outdoors, to, you know,

00:44:48.680 socialize with other homeschooling families and to, and to cultivate your own interests. That's my

00:44:55.480 list. Um, for us, we also run a home-based business, so we'll make sure we get our, our work

00:45:03.900 done in the morning with our schoolwork, but then it's like, okay, well, I have work I have to do as

00:45:07.080 well. So, um, I just want to encourage people. You, you don't have to give up everything that you do

00:45:11.640 just to homeschool your kids. Um, it can come alongside your life and you can kind of create a

00:45:15.960 lifestyle designed to, to, to work with your family and what your family's needs are. And so,

00:45:22.280 um, I love that those afternoons after we're done our schoolwork, that the kids can do exactly what

00:45:27.920 you said and just kind of find their own exploratory activities and dig into what their

00:45:33.960 skills are. Um, we'll also use that time for different classes or sports, or our kids are also

00:45:41.160 involved in theater or, um, there's a lot of places that have different activities set aside

00:45:46.640 for homeschool families. So you might be able to find an afternoon sports thing or something like

00:45:51.960 that, which I actually love. I, I think our, our evenings, I find our evenings are so special for

00:45:57.540 us and I'm, we've always valued, um, coming together around a meal. And I actually right now, or it will

00:46:04.780 be in the fall where our kids are in sports activities and they're always around like five o'clock in the

00:46:09.260 evening, which is so frustrating. So it's like, no, that's our special family time. Um, but there

00:46:14.440 are opportunities to, to, um, jump into different, um, enriching activities and that sort of a thing

00:46:20.640 outside of that formal learning in the morning, you can kind of jump into that afternoon or connecting

00:46:25.340 with families or playing or just, yeah, doing whatever it is that kind of you need to do as a

00:46:30.080 family. Jalene, why don't we move into a little bit about, uh, the whole socialization. Um, you,

00:46:37.300 you talked about the activities that they are connecting outside of the home. So that's a

00:46:43.440 starting point for getting socialized, but yeah. What else do you want to add to that?

00:46:49.360 Yeah. I think that's one of the biggest concerns I hear from families that are wanting to, to

00:46:53.600 homeschool or considering it, but they're like, but, but my kids need to be around other kids. Well,

00:46:57.600 my kids are around other kids all the time. So I don't know what this idea is that somehow you're

00:47:01.960 going to have this little isolated pod of children that don't know how to communicate with the world.

00:47:05.620 That's certainly not my goal with my family and it's not my children's goal either. Um, the big

00:47:10.580 question I would say to people is like, well, who is socializing your kids, right? If you're sending

00:47:15.440 them into a public school system, there are around 25 other kids, their own age for six hours a day.

00:47:24.520 What are they learning in that socialization? And is that actually who you want mentoring your

00:47:28.760 children? One of the things that really struck me about homeschooling and, and really got me excited

00:47:34.140 about it was this idea that, um, I was watching these homeschooled kids be able to have an amazing

00:47:40.280 conversation with somebody who was twice their age while at the same time being able to, to pick up a

00:47:45.980 little one and, and be able to interact with a child as well. And so this is one of the most beautiful

00:47:50.860 things I see in homeschooled kids is that they really can relate to people of all ages and stages.

00:47:57.100 And there's just like a special, um, gentleness about that. And again, this is where coming

00:48:03.160 alongside other homeschooled families is, is really special if you can make that happen,

00:48:07.340 but there is absolutely no shortage of socialization in our children, but we get to control more of who

00:48:14.700 they're socializing with. And I think that that is especially key when we're looking at a world

00:48:19.920 that's getting increasingly darker. And you can see the agendas that are at play against our

00:48:25.140 children. We have to, we have to set up barriers to protect our children and protect their hearts

00:48:30.960 and steward their hearts. Well, um, if we're sending them out into the wolves, you just lose that

00:48:36.440 opportunity to be able to control more of who they're, they're going to be socializing with them,

00:48:41.520 what that socialization looks like. Um, and so I think that that's especially important in this,

00:48:47.280 this day and age, but I would say there's absolutely no shortage of socialization. It's just this,

00:48:53.160 yeah. Who do you want socializing your kids? Who do you want your kids interacting with?

00:48:57.720 Because they're going to turn out to be the average of the five people they spend the most

00:49:01.020 time with. Right. And do you want that to be a group of, um, 11 year olds, you know,

00:49:06.740 just being the core influence on your children. Um, I think it's really important that we take that

00:49:11.960 ownership back. It's like, I should be the most influential person in my child's life because I love

00:49:17.560 them more than anybody there. They've been gifted to me. They're my responsibility. I want that core

00:49:23.300 influence to be my husband and myself, and then the people that we kind of choose to surround

00:49:27.320 ourselves with. And so I think that, um, don't worry about socialization. They're going to get it.

00:49:34.260 And as they get older, they're going to find it even more as like technology opens as well. Right.

00:49:39.240 So if we can kind of do those things to really protect their hearts and guard their hearts as much

00:49:44.000 as possible, I think that that's absolutely essential, especially in this, this day and age.

00:49:50.860 Yes. And to add to that, I think sometimes homeschool kids, well, not sometimes often homeschool

00:49:59.480 kids and families do stand out from, you know, the, the run of the mill families around. It's not

00:50:08.700 necessarily a bad thing. And that's actually kind of what we're going for.

00:50:13.180 Um, and to realize that maybe people are, are often asking, like, how do you socialize your kids

00:50:20.100 or whatever? It's not, it's actually we're socializing our kids in a more round, um, forum and

00:50:28.100 they're probably, they might appear to be awkward to mainstream because they're actually more mature

00:50:37.040 socially than those in the public school of the same age and grade as them. So I think they just

00:50:44.000 stand out and it, people coin that as awkward, but it's actually not awkward. It's actually mature.

00:50:50.240 It just stands out because they're beyond their years.

00:50:55.640 Good. Yeah. I, in the chat, I added positive socialization versus negative socialization.

00:51:02.820 And, um, as a parent, Jillian, I agree. Like we, we have a lot of, uh, say, I remember when

00:51:11.800 my girls were about 11, 12, 13 and the whole sleepover thing. Can I have so-and-so over as a

00:51:19.340 sleepover? And you found out pretty quick. So my, I always wanted the kids to come to my house so I

00:51:24.400 could evaluate these kids. These were kids from the community that my, my daughters made friends

00:51:28.840 with. And over time I went, you know what? So-and-so really actually doesn't bring anything

00:51:35.060 valuable to their friendship. So no more sleepovers with that particular friend. And eventually we were

00:51:42.980 down to like two, two healthy kids that were great to have in the home and a blessing. And we were able

00:51:49.900 to be a big part of their lives too. And, um, so that's the benefit of, of being involved as a

00:51:58.100 parent, um, and looking out for great kids and versus ones that aren't going to help your kid at

00:52:04.880 all. Um, let's switch gears here, Lori, and talk about education and discipleship. Um, what does that

00:52:14.200 look like and how, how do we steward these years that we have them home?

00:52:20.420 That's probably my favorite question and, but I'll try to be succinct here. Um, yeah, like I said in

00:52:27.260 the beginning, in my intro, like what led me into homeschooling was quality of education, but what

00:52:32.460 kept me in homeschooling was discipleship. And when I married my husband, he had two kids from his

00:52:39.660 previous marriage that he was widowed. And, um, and I, I started the, like our, my time is being a mom

00:52:48.060 out thinking, okay, I have a guaranteed 10 years with my son before he's going to be 18. What am I

00:52:56.960 going to do with that? What do I want him to learn? What do I want him to, what do I want to invest in

00:53:02.300 him? Um, how do I want him to experience the Lord and, and how do I foster that? So with each of

00:53:09.520 my kids, I've been pretty intentional about like who disciples them. So that's part of what I

00:53:16.600 absolutely love about homeschooling is that I get to disciple them. I get to make that part of our day.

00:53:22.680 So with stewarding your time, I think my homeschooling transformed when I actually like got into a routine

00:53:30.680 of, of Bible time of discipleship time. So we would go through the Bible. We would, um, go through books

00:53:38.800 sometimes like depending on their ages, we'd go through some Bible studies. Like, um, we did

00:53:44.260 different Bible studies on, you know, like Daniel or like just different, different things that

00:53:48.960 according to their age group, what they were interested in. So that was, that was key for me

00:53:54.420 and being able to like, lots of people say that, yes, it is really important to be around your kids

00:53:59.760 when they're little, but there, it is just as, or more important to be around your kids when they're

00:54:03.920 teenagers, because they are, they're thinking about things. They're trying to figure out what

00:54:08.500 the world is like and how they fit and what they think about things, how they're going to, um, you

00:54:16.240 know, process different relationships and, and how, yeah, just how to think about everything. So being able

00:54:22.400 to teach them from a biblical worldview, okay, what does the Bible say about that? Like, okay, like, well,

00:54:27.340 well, the Bible actually talks about, you know, like being selfless and, and yet, um, being wise and

00:54:33.860 what does wisdom look like? Okay. Let's look at the word and, and those kinds of things. So like some

00:54:38.540 of our most precious times were those times in the morning where we would start out our day with,

00:54:43.680 you know, like oftentimes we'd worship, we'd put on some worship music and, you know, dance around

00:54:48.660 the house or, or whatever. And, and like with little kids, like I often have flags or, or tambourines or,

00:54:56.260 you know, like making a ruckus, but, but they were, they were getting to know, you know, like, okay,

00:55:01.700 this, this song looks like, you know, is talking about this. What does that look like to you? Like,

00:55:06.340 how can you express that to the Lord? Or, you know, when they were little, or, or maybe that looks

00:55:11.120 like, you know, breaking out the piano and the instruments, my family's musical. So, you know,

00:55:15.760 just worshiping together and, um, praying together, you know, and, and the beautiful thing about it is

00:55:23.060 that you've got time and you can make that a priority, like how much time that will take.

00:55:28.020 And maybe it looks like 15 minutes one day, maybe it looks like an hour and a half the next,

00:55:33.140 maybe it looks like, okay, you know what, just take some time right now and, and go respond to

00:55:37.960 the Lord. What does that look like? You know, go in journal language, you know, go in journal what,

00:55:44.400 what, you know, what the Lord showed you with this. And so there's lots of curriculum out there,

00:55:50.020 or just not even curriculum, just like do a Bible study with your kids or, you know, like,

00:55:55.460 and if for a little while there, we even put an audio Bible on, will we painted and just listen

00:56:03.020 to the Bible so we could listen in bigger sections. My voice wouldn't get worn out, you know? So

00:56:08.180 there's just so many different things that you can do when you commit your way to the Lord and,

00:56:12.760 and your kids learn from a young age that this is priority that, you know, like math might not be a

00:56:19.160 priority. Like, yes, it is, but, but it's not as high a priority as the word, as, as prayer, as

00:56:26.300 worship, as being thankful and looking at our circumstances and, you know, like relationships

00:56:32.060 through, through biblical eyes. I think that sets up a wonderful foundation for the rest of their

00:56:37.540 lives. That's essentially what I was going to talk about was just the importance of making that a

00:56:41.220 priority and, and getting creative and inspiring a love for the word and a love for the Lord in your

00:56:47.440 kids. And, and that, that builds incredible relationship that you'll have your whole life

00:56:52.280 through. Yeah. Yeah. That's fantastic. We were going to talk about

00:57:00.420 chores and how to, when we have a bad day. Jolene, you are actively at homeschooling and

00:57:09.920 do you want to talk a little bit about what a bad day, how do you get through a bad day and what do you

00:57:13.840 do? Oh yeah. So first off, expect those to happen. I think that if you're, if you're kind of

00:57:20.700 approaching this thinking that it's just going to be all easy and, and just beautiful, and there's

00:57:25.140 definitely going to be those sweet, beautiful moments, but sometimes you're going to have bad

00:57:28.780 days. I find my own personal attitude generates a lot of those kind of experiences. And I think as,

00:57:38.060 as moms, we have to kind of really learn to control our own expectations and our own emotions. And

00:57:43.580 then our kids will kind of watch what we do and they'll follow that example. So I think, you know,

00:57:50.040 just sometimes you just need a little bit of a break. Sometimes you need to just get outside and

00:57:54.340 run off some energy. Sometimes you just need to, you know, shake it off. Like try something else,

00:58:03.120 do something different. Yeah. Just expect that those bad days are going to happen. Recentering yourself.

00:58:08.680 I think for me, music, I always just love music. I love worship. I love, I love that. And I think

00:58:13.940 putting on a good song and just kind of dancing your bad attitude out can be a really big game

00:58:19.820 changer for the home environment sometimes. Or just putting things on pause for a little bit and just

00:58:24.740 be like, okay, we're just going to, we're going to be done for now. We're just going to go move on to

00:58:28.700 the next thing. Right. And just know that tomorrow's a new day. I would, I would just caution somebody,

00:58:34.180 if you have a day or a bad week or a bad month, um, that can happen. It's part of the journey.

00:58:41.160 It will not always be like that. Um, so just expect it and know that you're not alone with that.

00:58:47.400 I think we can look, especially with social media being so influential in our lives these days,

00:58:52.280 we can look at somebody's social media and think like everything is pretty imperfect and awesome all

00:58:56.120 the time. And look at this mom. She's just so patient and kind and loving, and she never loses her

00:58:59.940 temper. The reality is it's likely not the situation, right? So we see a high

00:59:04.160 light reel of somebody else's life. Um, just know that that comparison is a thief of joy. We all feel

00:59:09.640 discouraged at times. We all have bad days. And in those moments, just like take a moment to pause

00:59:15.340 and breathe and really remember why you started this, why you're doing this to begin with. Don't ever

00:59:21.480 quit on your bad days, right? Don't ever take that bad day and use it as a reason to quit. Um, if you

00:59:28.000 want to quit, quit on your best day, right? Um, that can be just such an important thing to remember

00:59:33.720 and to just refocus that we all have those. And I find like those homeschool conventions,

00:59:38.360 we don't have them in BC anymore. And if they do let me know, because I can't really find them,

00:59:43.200 but they are so valuable because I find particulars you get to like March, April in the year,

00:59:48.120 you kind of stop and you're like, why am I doing this? And kind of plugging into that community

00:59:53.080 again, and just refocusing on why, why are you homeschooling? Why are you putting all this

00:59:59.380 effort out there? Um, it can just change everything. And I find that those homeschool

01:00:02.920 conferences, if you can get one, do it. If you have to travel to go to one, do it. Um, they're so

01:00:08.600 valuable because you're reminded you're not alone. You're renewed. Why is there it's present. And it

01:00:15.320 just, it can be a, such a game changer. So, um, be encouraged. I hope that it encourages you. I have

01:00:20.880 bad days all the time. We have family fights all the time. I have some very spirited children

01:00:25.400 and, um, it just happens. Right. So don't, don't be discouraged. We all go through it. So

01:00:30.780 I'm just back in here from being off. So hopefully someone else didn't say this already. I'm assuming

01:00:37.860 you're talking about what, what do you do when you have a bad day? And one of the things that I have in

01:00:42.840 my notes is, um, like an early on, I talked a little bit earlier about my struggle and, you know,

01:00:49.720 feeling like all my ugly was coming out and everything. One of the things that I learned

01:00:53.060 in that season of my life was that it was a prime example for me to humble myself before my children

01:01:01.240 and to acknowledge before them that I was as much of a sinner as they were. And I was as much in need

01:01:08.880 of a savior as my children were instead of putting myself up on a pedestal and like teaching them,

01:01:15.440 like, these are all the things that you're doing wrong. And these are all the things that you have

01:01:18.540 to improve on. And, you know, just kind of lording things over, you know, you bring yourself down and

01:01:25.360 be like, I'm just like you. Like I make mistakes. I need Jesus. I, I need him to change my heart. I

01:01:31.860 need him to help me cope with my days. I have bad days just like you. And then you get to practice

01:01:37.840 this reciprocal forgiveness with one another and mercy and grace and understanding. And I have found

01:01:45.420 that probably that's the single most human and yet most godly thing that hinges all of my relationship

01:01:56.880 with my kids on is for them to see that I'm just regular like them and that we all need Jesus like

01:02:04.920 wherever we are. And what a beautiful thing to be able to convey to your kids, right?

01:02:14.420 Absolutely. Thank you, both of you. Those were really wise words. We're just going to land on this

01:02:21.880 last question here about when discouragement sets in. How do I keep going? And the kind of discouragement

01:02:29.420 I'm questioning is so you're let's say it's January and February, and the days are dark, and it's raining

01:02:38.020 or snow, and it's cold, and the kids are fighting, and you're tired. And you, you're just going, what am I

01:02:48.220 doing? And why am I doing this? What keeps you ladies going? And I'll just say for me, I made that

01:02:57.560 decision around grade seven-ish with my oldest that we were going to, grade six, maybe grade seven.

01:03:04.880 No, we're doing this for the long haul. We're going to do this right to the end no matter what.

01:03:09.380 And for all of my kids, we're just going to do this because I had more good days than I had hard

01:03:15.640 days. But I did have days where I wondered, I don't know if I could do this. So what keeps you girls 0.97

01:03:21.320 going and you were having those days? I think support from your spouse is really important

01:03:29.240 and not isolating yourself. Almost all the time when I'm having a rough time, I haven't done my

01:03:36.440 due diligence about not just making sure my kids are good, but making sure that I'm okay. And, you know,

01:03:43.700 being intentional about getting together with other homeschool moms, whether that's at a co-op that's

01:03:49.900 run by parents, whether that's at a sports homeschool event and, you know, your kids are doing stuff and

01:03:55.680 you get to socialize with the other parents, or whether that's, it's been, I want to say at least

01:04:02.500 a decade now, myself and four other homeschool moms who were traveling to New Brunswick for the

01:04:10.720 homeschool conference gelled relationship. And we just decided at that time that we would get together

01:04:17.900 on a regular basis and see one another. And that morphed into, you know, as parents, no one ever

01:04:23.840 really celebrates you when you have your birthday very well. So we started going out to celebrate

01:04:31.000 each other's birthday for dinner. And there's five of us. So at least five times a year, we're getting

01:04:35.960 together, we're spending several hours pouring out our hearts seeking, you know, information and

01:04:43.840 counsel from one another. And they have been like a lifeline to me. And we have a private little

01:04:51.200 Facebook group where we sometimes will vent on there or ask for prayer for our day, or share scripture

01:04:56.880 or funny memes, and just check in with one another about how we're doing. So I think it's so necessary

01:05:04.620 that you are intentional about not isolating yourself. Because we're not meant to just go

01:05:12.520 it alone. And we need to know that we're not alone in our struggles. So that's number one. And number

01:05:20.300 two is, I don't know who coined this, but the BYC day, which is because you can, meaning if you're having

01:05:29.820 a hard season with your family, it is okay to take a day off. If the educational part of things is

01:05:39.880 completely obliterizing your relationship. That's no good for anyone that like we do not want education

01:05:49.340 over relationship, we want relationship to be in good standing, first with the Lord, and then with each

01:05:55.640 other, and then education to be a byproduct of that. And so sometimes you need to take a BYC day,

01:06:04.820 a because you can day, whether that's, you know what, we're going to go to the cafe and get a treat.

01:06:09.700 And we're going to go to the park, we're going to go and see if you know, this family wants to meet

01:06:14.620 with us, or you know what, we're going to have a pajama day and do a movie marathon, or we're going to

01:06:19.040 whatever it is, to just be like, let's just shift our focus off of like, the pressure that we're

01:06:26.800 feeling that we're instilling in this environment, we got to get it done. And we got to, you know,

01:06:31.840 because we as parents, you know, are trying to be so diligent. And sometimes I know for me,

01:06:38.220 I've lost sight of the purpose of why I'm doing this. And it's just important to take a step back

01:06:44.700 and just to be like, you know what, my kids are overwhelmed, I'm overwhelmed. They're having

01:06:49.140 many bad days in a row, I'm having many bad days in a row. This is not fun. This is not enjoyable.

01:06:55.540 This is not productive. Even like we're not eat like, it's almost like you're beating a dead house,

01:07:01.820 like horse, you're wanting to be productive, but you're not being productive, because everybody's

01:07:06.120 miserable. Just take a step back. This is why we have the flexibility of homeschooling,

01:07:11.060 is to put in back into focus, what should be in the center, Christ, then our family, then education,

01:07:18.700 not in a mixed order of that, and give yourself time to just remember why you love your kids,

01:07:27.900 and remember why you're at home with them. And I'm going to start crying, but like, cherish the days

01:07:33.940 that you have. Because, you know, now I'm at the other end. And I'm like, I feel so grateful

01:07:40.120 that we homeschooled. I'm going into year 14. I have bought back for myself and for my kids,

01:07:49.620 more hours and more relationship, having them at home than I could if I had sent them away.

01:07:57.100 But you know what the truth is? It doesn't feel like enough, even now. And so, it's so important

01:08:06.000 that we make relationship first, and we just cherish and sit where we are, and like take one day at a

01:08:13.020 time, and put our kids first, and just love them and enjoy them while we can. Oh, sorry.

01:08:20.780 I love it. This is beautiful. Thank you. Lori or Jelene, do you want to add to that?

01:08:28.860 We'll love that, Emily. Thank you for just being vulnerable. Because I just, I completely agree

01:08:34.340 with everything you just said. And, and just having graduated my youngest, I'm feeling that too. I'm

01:08:40.520 just going, oh my goodness, I, I'm so grateful that I had all that time with them. But at the same

01:08:46.020 time, I wish it was longer. So yes. And, and I can just add to that saying, like, connection is the

01:08:53.620 most important thing. So, you know, like God and connecting with your kids, right? So if you're

01:08:59.840 having many bad days in a row, let's, let's maybe take a step back and look at like, okay, what's going

01:09:04.900 on? And let's maybe get some resources or, you know, pick up a book or talk to friends. As women, 1.00

01:09:11.820 we are made for relationship. We're made to do life together. And we thrive doing fine,

01:09:17.620 good friends. Just like Emily was saying, I've got some of those ladies in my life too, that, 1.00

01:09:22.640 that I just, I realized that they've, they've mentored me. I poured into them, you know, like,

01:09:27.740 it's just, it's been amazing. And, and we've done life together. We've done the highs and the lows and,

01:09:33.040 and everything. And, and instead of sometimes your kids getting the brunt of it, sometimes it's just

01:09:39.240 good to have a friend that you can, you can just relate with and cry with and, and can see all

01:09:45.380 your messy. Yeah, that's, that's such, or us, right? So yes, I, I completely agree. Pushing through

01:09:56.460 on, you know, if you're having many hard days in a row or weeks or whatever, just, just take a step

01:10:01.820 back, especially if you're just getting going. I don't think we mentioned that, but it takes some

01:10:07.620 time to get a rhythm. It takes some time to, if you've just pulled your kids out of school and

01:10:13.240 they've been in school for a while, it's going to take some time. I just even say like the first

01:10:17.500 year, maybe even two, it's just going to take some time to, to figure out, okay, let's not school at

01:10:24.020 home. Let's actually figure out how we're going to do this and how we're going to live life, how we're

01:10:28.860 going to, you know, our priorities and, and learning styles and teaching styles and all those things.

01:10:34.500 So just give yourself grace. And if you've been doing this for a while and you just need to

01:10:38.520 refresh, maybe you need to look at your curriculum. Like Jillian was saying, you know, like just taking

01:10:43.600 a look and going, okay, their love of learning is waning. What, what can we do? What subject is

01:10:49.540 giving them the most grief? And again, like I was saying before, sometimes it's that, that brain

01:10:54.920 development, honestly, sometimes they're just not ready for that. So move on and, and, and tackle that

01:11:00.440 again another time. So just taking a step back and having that conversation with a friend or with

01:11:05.440 your husband, or, you know, just taking a, getting a bigger view on, okay, what's going on? Is it me?

01:11:13.240 Maybe it needs to be even something like counseling. Maybe it needs to be a, you know, a few days away

01:11:19.000 at a friend's or something like that. Just, just take a step back and go, what's going on here? And,

01:11:25.160 and like, like Doris said, like we made that decision that yet we're doing this, this is what

01:11:30.820 we do. And so how are we going to do this? Well, yes. And also this idea, like you said,

01:11:37.440 it takes some time to develop your habits and, you know, it also takes some time to develop some

01:11:42.720 confidence that what you're doing is the right thing and that, that you're doing it well, that

01:11:48.800 you're accomplishing what you're hoping to. And when I say it takes some time, I mean, like at least

01:11:54.360 two years for me until, because really comparison is a threat to our success. And it's so easy when

01:12:03.160 you're starting out to look to your right and to your left and just see what other people are doing.

01:12:06.860 I've shared this story a lot, but you were unit studies. It was not my like positive thing in my

01:12:13.780 life because one of these days when we were at music lessons, one of this, one of this family,

01:12:18.860 we were all took turns bringing in snacks and one family brought in, um, cake, but their cake was

01:12:25.000 like, um, Egyptian pyramids. And they were all like, we're doing a unit study on Egypt and this and

01:12:32.480 this. And I was just like, I just felt so inferior and inadequate. And I was like, I'm not doing that.

01:12:40.220 And that was, um, a big learning moment for me. Um, not immediately, but as I processed and unpacked

01:12:49.740 that to be okay with the fact that, um, I, even if I chose the exact same curriculum as what you guys

01:12:59.280 were doing, it's going to look completely different in my house than it does in yours, because we're

01:13:04.800 dealing with different personalities, different learning styles, different family dynamics, different

01:13:09.660 pressures, all of that. And so for, took me a long time to realize, to stop it. It's okay to look and

01:13:18.940 learn, but the comparison to stop that, that it was actually a threat to my own success and to, um,

01:13:27.340 plant myself in the Lord and ask him to lead me and to guide me every day on what I was supposed to do

01:13:35.620 and where I was supposed to go and how I was supposed to do it with my brood, my little brood

01:13:40.880 and be confident that he was leading me well. And that it's okay to learn from other people,

01:13:47.400 but I don't have to look to my left or right. We have good things happening here too, that probably

01:13:53.780 other people are looking at going, gosh, we're not doing that. Right? Like we just need to

01:13:59.640 spend some time cultivating our relationship with God and developing that confidence to see that,

01:14:07.200 um, God has our own path for us and he will direct us accordingly. And we don't have to worry about

01:14:15.300 what everybody else is doing. Um, we can just trust in God.

01:14:20.920 That's good advice. Thank you for that. Um, Jelene, did you want to add to that?

01:14:27.480 Well, these women both just said so many beautiful, amazing things that just resonate with my heart so

01:14:32.700 much. Um, the only thing I would add, like when you're having those, those recurring bad days,

01:14:39.100 um, remember like one of the best lessons I heard was you can't serve from an empty vessel. You can't

01:14:45.020 pour from an empty cup. And so if we've had a lot of those bad days, oftentimes it's because

01:14:50.300 my cup is empty and maybe it's because my relationships have, and my priorities have

01:14:56.620 just gotten askew from where they should be. Right. And so sometimes it's, it's needing to

01:15:01.560 pause and take some time away and just to kind of recenter and refresh and make sure my priorities

01:15:06.720 are the way that they should be. God first, my husband next, then come the kids. Right. And

01:15:11.720 oftentimes, especially as a homeschool family that can get reversed and somehow the kids end up at the

01:15:16.840 top as the top priority. And then everything else starts to fall away. So I've noticed that in my

01:15:21.660 own life, if I start to get those priorities mixed up, things can just kind of get a little bit off

01:15:27.000 centered. So getting those back in order, refilling my cup, spending some time with a friend. Um, if you

01:15:32.540 have another homeschool family, another mom that you connect with, a friend, a sister, it can mean so

01:15:37.360 much just to take a couple of days to just fill that cup up. So you can come back refreshed to serve

01:15:43.460 your family and to serve your kids again. Right. Um, and then the other thing is just, if you are

01:15:48.380 having that extended period, maybe that's that time to pivot. Maybe it's that time that you've

01:15:52.860 persevered through something, but it just is not working with your family. And you can start to see

01:15:57.340 like, there goes the love of learning. We need to maybe do some pivots. Um, and then the other thing

01:16:03.260 I just want to, I just want to say, because I think it can be so discouraging and I don't know,

01:16:08.780 I'm sure there's other families that feel this too. My kids are not like, I want mom to be my

01:16:14.020 teacher. They don't, they, they actually would prefer that they went somewhere else and had

01:16:18.160 somebody else be their teacher, which is heartbreaking to me. And I had one day with my

01:16:23.440 oldest who was constantly asking to go to school. Um, my son who's 13 now was just like really in that

01:16:33.440 stage where he was like, I really just want to go. Like, I don't know what you're doing, blah, blah,

01:16:37.040 whatever. Um, she actually looked at him and she said to him, you know what? I'm actually so grateful

01:16:44.200 that I didn't go back to school. All of those times that I was asking, because I can see that mom

01:16:51.120 loves us more than anybody and she's doing what she knows is right for us. And it was just that

01:16:55.780 moment where I was like, Oh my gosh, they were learning. They were, they were seeing my heart for

01:17:01.340 them and knowing that, um, despite the conflict, despite that they're the pushback that at the end

01:17:09.060 of the day, they can look back and say, we were on the right path. And that mom loved me and was doing

01:17:15.720 the absolute best that she could with what she had. Right. And so, um, I hope that that's encouraging

01:17:21.160 for people is that, um, yeah, just, just remember your goal, remember your why, remember why you

01:17:28.440 started. And even in those periods where you're getting that pushback, maybe from your kids or,

01:17:32.840 you know, the world or your family out there who, who, by the way, like if you're, if you're

01:17:37.480 great, if the grandparents are like, what are you doing? Homeschooling these kids, they need to be

01:17:41.240 socialized. They're not your child. They're not their children, right? You're the, you're, you're the

01:17:45.760 one who needs to lead them. Just limit those voices as well, because those can be so discouraging, but,

01:17:50.840 um, yeah. Chances are, chances are just give them some time. They'll see the fruit of everything in

01:17:59.780 due time and it will all be good, but just stay, stay, uh, stay the course. Yeah. Stay the course.

01:18:09.360 Stay the course. I want to put a little plug in there for grandmas because now I'm a grandma of seven 0.99

01:18:14.380 children and, um, there are a couple of them actually one, two, three are starting homeschooling

01:18:20.620 next week. And, uh, my kids want me to be involved. And I just have got thinking like, if

01:18:29.060 you folks have parents that want to be involved or you want them to be involved, give them something

01:18:37.720 that they can contribute, whether it's a day outside or a day doing, um, I don't know, auto

01:18:45.060 mechanics or a day doing learning how to cook a meal or sewing or, um, take them to the pool.

01:18:53.620 There's all kinds of things. So that gives mom and maybe dad too, a break. And, um, it gives them a

01:19:00.220 chance to be with their grandparents and grandparents want to be involved. Not all, but many do want to be

01:19:05.560 involved. And it's a beautiful season. And for Lori and Emily, when that season comes, it's so

01:19:10.440 exciting. You know, I mean, I had those gap years where nothing, you know, my kids were graduated,

01:19:17.020 they were working on their lives. Now they're parents. It's a beautiful season to, to come back

01:19:22.640 into, um, and to look forward to. So I encourage anybody in the audience here to, uh, engage those

01:19:29.160 people and also engage anybody outside of your family, who's highly skilled, um, to, to either

01:19:36.860 mentor or to, to teach a skill. Uh, those are great opportunities for, for learning as well.

01:19:44.760 So we're going to wrap up here. Um, if, if you ladies had a one minute closing comment, what would 1.00

01:19:52.420 you say? Laura, you want to start? Oh, goodness. You can do it. Just enjoy your kids. Like that's 0.65

01:20:08.940 probably the biggest thing is just enjoy your kids and, and make priorities and stick to them.

01:20:16.120 Pivot when you need to, like Jaleen was saying. And, uh, yeah, just set your priorities. Like,

01:20:22.300 okay, God's going to be first in this family. I'm going to set the example and, and yeah, just

01:20:27.700 enjoy your kids, but, uh, but know yourself that, uh, you know, like I needed structure and I really

01:20:36.240 thrived and my kids thrived when I had some structure, but lots of flexibility too, and being

01:20:42.280 able just to, uh, to take those opportunities, just to make memories together. So you can do it.

01:20:49.180 Thank you. Emily.

01:20:52.300 Gosh, you did well, Lori. I just echo what she said. And I think just, I was going to say the

01:21:00.700 same thing, like you can do it. You need to be diligent. You need to do your part. If you want

01:21:07.240 to do right by your children, you know, know that it's an investment, um, but that it's worthwhile and,

01:21:14.760 uh, yeah, don't count all your chickens before they're hatched. Know that it takes time to see

01:21:22.040 fruit and, um, trust the process and listen to other homeschoolers that are seasoned. Um, because

01:21:30.440 I think they have a lot of wise words and a lot of encouragement along the way for you to know, um,

01:21:37.320 to hang in there when things are tough and yeah. Thank you. Jalene. Um, just be encouraged. If

01:21:45.720 this is something that's on your heart, it's there for a reason. And I don't think that, you know,

01:21:51.220 you're ever going to regret spending this time leading and teaching and training and discipling

01:21:58.620 the greatest gift that you will ever receive in your life. You know, our kids are only kids for

01:22:03.180 so long. They're going to grow and God willing, they're going to step out into the world themselves.

01:22:08.900 And, um, remember, you know, we're not raising children, we're raising adults. And to, to think

01:22:14.680 about what kind of adults we're sending out into the world, these are the next generation that's going 1.00

01:22:19.060 to change, change and shape the world around us. And so the more families that I see taking back

01:22:26.120 their God-given power to, to raise these adults, to raise this next generation, I can't think of

01:22:32.240 anything more important in the entire world for us to be doing than to, to sending out God-fearing, 0.99

01:22:40.900 loving, amazing humans who are equipped and excited about, about contributing to the world around them.

01:22:49.540 I think it's just such a special and unique calling we have as parents. And so if that is on your

01:22:54.980 heart, know that there's resources, there's support, I am always happy to chat and encourage a mom,

01:23:00.340 um, or a dad to take this role, because I think it's just, it's so needed. It is so needed in this

01:23:07.300 world. And we, we can shape the world around us through our children. And I think that's the greatest

01:23:12.780 gift that I can leave. The greatest legacy I have is not what the work around me is going to be,

01:23:17.660 but what I can equip my children to raise up because they're generations. You know, each one of our

01:23:22.220 children represents the next generation and the generations to come. And so let us be those

01:23:27.640 people that are sending out these God, godly, beautiful generations. Cause that's, that's truly

01:23:34.540 how we change the world. Yes. Think ahead. Yeah. Generationally. Absolutely. Thank you so much,

01:23:42.860 Lori Dunbar, Jolene Hay, and, um, Emily Ross for being here today.

Action4Canada - September 04, 2024

Answers to Your Homeschooling Questions

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