00:00:00.000Well, I guess with that whole something isn't right, I also too saw myself and I saw no way out of the situation. I thought I had gone too far. And I, at that point, I was like, I dug my own bed, I might as well lie in it. And maybe if I just push it down, I, you know, it'll, it'll go away that that thought.
00:00:27.280But while I, I went to church that day and my pastor said, so they, uh, this, this topic's going to be one that's made difficult to talk about in the nearby future.
00:00:41.560So I want to, I want to get it out there while I'm, you know, still allowed.
00:00:48.600And the scripture that he specifically said that had struck me was Deuteronomy 22, 5 is a woman shall not wear that which pertains to a man.
00:01:04.660neither shall a man put on a woman's garment for all that do so are an abomination to the lord your
00:01:11.580god and hearing that word like that word abomination that that struck me and like it
00:01:22.420it hurt because it's like i had i had heard of that scripture before but i think in my own head
00:01:31.100I was like, well, maybe it doesn't mean this, or maybe it's more like if I'm doing this for a perversion reason or something, but I'm not.
00:01:44.180And, you know, I tried to talk myself out of it with all these maybes and then, but I don't know, it was like I felt, I felt the Holy Spirit past conviction down onto me and the room started to go dark again.
00:02:01.480and I'm like oh oh man this this is real this I and my my dad was sitting next to me he looks over
00:02:09.240at me and I just I guess I probably looked like I was gonna pass out so I just I just got up I went
00:02:17.800into the back room he comes with me and you know he sits down and he's never been judgmental or
00:02:26.160on a high horse or anything. He just sits down with me and he goes, so what do you think you're
00:02:32.500going to do about this? And I, I said, well, you know, I'm, I'm going to do what, what I have to
00:02:41.100do. Being honest with you, dad, I don't, I don't know how I'm going to get out of this situation,
00:02:46.180but if God is calling me to, then I'm going to, I'm going to try. I'm going to do, I'm going to
00:02:54.620do. I'm going to do it even if I don't think it's possible.