Action4Canada - How Dads Can Show Support in the Home School

00:00:00.000 well our guest today is author speaker podcaster and newspaper writer jason weaning to discuss

00:00:08.620 how husbands and dads can be intentional about leading and loving their families

00:00:12.500 how they can support homeschooling moms and how fathers understand their role of being a dad in

00:00:19.340 a homeschool jason and his wife ali have been married for 20 years and homeschool their 10

00:00:25.680 kids although ali will say jason will say that ali is doing most of the homeschooling

00:00:30.840 which is normal he speaks to dads and moms encouraging them to be intentional

00:00:36.780 in their most important organization their family he just released a wholesome adventure book for kids

00:00:43.900 danger in the jungle he co-hosts the helping men thrive podcast and supervises care of pigs

00:00:51.080 hens ducks and cows in their small hobby farm in saskatchewan after spending 15 years in the

00:00:57.580 business world he moved into a ministry role at his church and their adventure loving family recently

00:01:03.260 returned from living in the dominican republic for six months that's exciting and you can find jason

00:01:09.200 at heydads.ca my my family and i spent a couple weeks in the dominican as part of our homeschool too

00:01:17.280 so that's awesome jason i'm glad you're here thank you yeah welcome jason tell us why you got started

00:01:25.460 in homeschooling what motivated you to do that and when you started and tell us about a little bit

00:01:31.720 about your family sure great well thanks doris and laurie for having me here today and everyone

00:01:38.180 that's watching you know it's important what you're doing homeschooling and being intentional in your home

00:01:44.740 and with your families so important so yes we have 10 kids uh from ages six months to 18 years almost

00:01:53.280 19 years and we've been homeschooling from day one basically i grew up being homeschooled for a couple

00:02:00.680 years uh like my primary school i think to like grade two or three then i went to like a tiny christian

00:02:06.600 school with like 20 students then i went to a bigger christian school with like 400 students and then for

00:02:12.620 high school i went to public school and so i've kind of seen the spectrum of educational opportunities

00:02:20.440 uh for our families and so my wife uh she went to college we're from ontario we just moved to

00:02:28.380 saskatchewan a year ago but she went to college uh to be a ea an educational an ece sorry early childhood

00:02:35.740 education and she worked at an ace school for about two years accelerated christian education some of you

00:02:41.820 might be familiar with uh their curriculum and things so she did that for a couple years before

00:02:47.400 we got married and then we got married and started having kids and talked about the educational

00:02:53.820 options that we had and talked to lots of people about what was happening observed what was happening

00:03:00.700 and so this was 15 years ago i'm gonna say when we started so our when our oldest was around five

00:03:06.640 and we just felt like homeschooling was the right choice for us we read a bunch of books

00:03:14.180 it seemed the biblical instruction was parents are responsible for raising their kids

00:03:21.500 and we we jumped into that so i say we but yes my wife ali is uh she's out somewhere if you hear

00:03:29.700 screaming and yelling that's probably another rip roaring day at homeschool going on in the other

00:03:34.820 part of the house here but yes so we've been doing it for about 15 years and yes it's it's full of its

00:03:43.120 ups and downs isn't it it certainly is yeah i would if i were to look back i only think of the good

00:03:52.600 and uh it's a good thing when you i don't know it's just like that you look back and you go wow that

00:03:58.680 was incredible so um how can uh dads show support to the homeschool to their wife to the education of

00:04:10.660 the children the role in the home there for fathers yes you know dads uh have a lot on their plates

00:04:18.960 moms have a lot on their plates too but often what i found was i would get home from work

00:04:26.340 uh working a long day like i'd show up at six some mornings till five at work when i was working in

00:04:32.640 our uh our family business was manufacturing equipment and you come home and you're exhausted

00:04:38.360 at the end of the day and what you want to do is lie on the couch and our wives really need us to not 1.00

00:04:46.780 lie on the couch because that is you have ever had a dinner time in your house which we all have

00:04:53.580 that is an intense there's a lot of things happening at dinner time and so as dad's boy

00:05:00.060 we have to really choose to sacrifice and i say sacrifice but you know i went to my wife and i went

00:05:07.560 to a marriage conference here in town a couple weeks ago and the speaker was talking about you know men

00:05:12.580 there's there's a verse in the bible that talks about sacrificing for your wife like giving up your

00:05:17.960 life for your wife well realistically are any of us going to have to give to like take a bullet for

00:05:23.780 our wives probably not you know it might happen but probably not and it's easy to say if i had to

00:05:30.060 take a bullet i would but do you know what we do get to do every day like help heal parrots if we want

00:05:37.520 to lie on the couch and put the kids to bed when we want to just watch the football game or the hockey

00:05:42.460 game or you know do an activity with a four-year-old who wants to color with you you know instead of

00:05:50.700 doing something that we want to do so really for dads it's not the big sacrifices that we have to

00:05:57.400 make it is the small choices i think every single day that really can help support our wives and support

00:06:05.940 moms in the work that they're doing those small choices every day i love that yeah i've never even

00:06:13.400 thought of it that way that's such a good way to put it did you come up with that yourself like that's

00:06:20.060 i feel like your wife might have had some influence in that i don't know it's kind of she probably did i

00:06:27.980 guess she's got great influence on me but but that's really what it is and and i've heard a few people

00:06:33.800 say it so i don't think i can say i came up with that myself it is the small things yeah absolutely

00:06:39.880 yeah yeah now you have something a presentation you want to walk us through right do you want to

00:06:46.720 go ahead let's i'll share my screen here we'll take a couple clicks to do that and uh

00:06:52.920 see how some ideas on how dads can support moms so you probably have my full powerpoint screen right

00:07:04.540 now i'm just going to go to slide presentation and you should have the slide now with the happy

00:07:10.560 campers on it that's a beautiful family you have so it is a beautiful family thank you very much

00:07:17.940 but let's just look at this picture for a second because as homeschooling moms and dads

00:07:23.460 we often feel pressure like to have the perfect family and i i totally stole this from todd wilson so

00:07:32.660 our most recent youtube video i think is my interview with todd wilson that i did at the

00:07:37.100 saskatchewan homeschool conference earlier this year and he talks about this like we see these families

00:07:42.400 like look they're so beautiful they're so happy they're so clean you know they're not picking their

00:07:47.200 noses well we have a little baby here that's just screaming her head off not a happy camper number one 0.90

00:07:53.380 that i'm holding and if we look at her big brother on the other side of the picture he's holding his

00:07:59.000 little sister's hands very begrudgingly he did not want to hold her hand he did not want to be in this

00:08:05.740 picture he almost has a smile here but this was a this was a difficult thing to get us all together

00:08:12.520 so i just want to say to you if you are an imperfect and normal family there's actually a ministry in

00:08:18.880 the states called imperfect and normal families only that's what we are we're imperfect and normal

00:08:24.080 families and just because you know doris and laurie and i are talking about some ideas and some things

00:08:30.360 here maybe doris and laurie have all the answers but i do not have all the answers we are imperfect

00:08:36.180 normal literally like an hour before this call i was apologizing to my 17 year old daughter

00:08:42.520 for getting angry at her last night so let's just get that off the table first we are imperfect

00:08:49.040 normal families and oftentimes we have not happy campers in our family pictures so don't pressure

00:08:54.500 yourself to think that everyone else has it all together we'll get into that in a second here

00:08:59.020 uh our podcast my friend ryan and i started a podcast youtube channel a few years ago called helping

00:09:04.960 men thrive we see we just in our own personal lives saw lots of dads and men that were really

00:09:12.220 crushing it at work and not crushing it at home and just seeing our friends getting separated and

00:09:19.260 divorced and it's hard don't get me wrong it's hard when you're running a business or you're working 0.79

00:09:23.840 for a company and and your family as well there are lots of things to consider but we just want

00:09:29.000 to encourage wanted to encourage men to be intentional in their most important organization and that's

00:09:33.980 not our companies or our ministries or our churches or our work it is i'm in my home office here it is

00:09:40.560 in the own under our own roof in our own home so dads and moms be intentional in your most

00:09:46.280 important organization okay i will get to some statistics here these are actual stats i did not

00:09:53.560 make this up from the national home education research institute no shock probably to any of us but

00:09:59.660 who does most of the homeschooling i think laurie said it in her introduction moms do most of the 1.00

00:10:05.360 homeschooling like 88 dads do about 10 maybe even less maybe some dads do more but my question when i

00:10:14.760 saw this was who's doing the other two percent like is that the big sister is that the neighbor down the 1.00

00:10:19.820 street is that god who's doing the other two percent there's a two percent mix here but the point is

00:10:24.860 that yes moms probably lots of moms watching this thank you for all the effort that you put in and

00:10:31.000 moms traditionally are doing a lot of the homeschooling on their own so on our podcast

00:10:37.800 earlier on one of our earlier episodes we interviewed a dad of 11 and we asked him you know do you have

00:10:44.540 any parenting tips for us homeschooling or parenting or whatever and this is what he had to say so i want to

00:10:51.740 encourage you it's a little video clip here let's see what this dad of 11 has to say about about

00:10:57.320 parenting and homeschooling what was his like top tip probably one of the most important things that

00:11:05.020 i would say is and i just did a parenting series would be it has nothing to do with parenting but the

00:11:10.760 most important thing that i could convey to any set of parents is to make sure that you pursue your

00:11:15.300 relationship with your spouse that is outside of your relationship with the lord that is the most

00:11:19.660 important relationship in your house you need to have date nights you need to spend time with each

00:11:24.400 other you need to sit on the couch and in the afternoon we used to we've done this series before

00:11:30.180 in our past where they emphasize couch time so i come home from work and we normally are overwhelmed

00:11:35.840 with kids and we kind of turn out all of our attention there but the most important relationship

00:11:40.640 is with your spouse whether it be your wife or your husband i don't know if any of you can relate to

00:11:47.540 that i think doris mentioned it when we were before the call like the overwhelm when you get home and

00:11:53.340 just that time of day but the most important thing that we can do i believe as parents and as husbands

00:12:00.060 and as wives is to put that time in with our spouse and prioritize that relationship i heard my dad say

00:12:07.600 many times over my lifetime you know how important it is to show affection to my mom and he would come

00:12:14.340 home from work before he would say hi to us he would give her a kiss and give her a hug and don't get

00:12:19.760 me wrong they weren't perfect and their marriage wasn't perfect but he showed he always would tell us

00:12:24.260 you know love your kids moms love your wife i love your mom and he just kind of instilled that and that

00:12:29.860 idea that one of the most important things we can do for our kids is to love our uh to love our spouse

00:12:36.460 and part of that we already kind of touched on it is doing is those small sacrifices so dads if you're

00:12:42.900 watching this boy i just want to encourage you to do those small things when you don't want to do it

00:12:48.080 the doing the dishes helping fold clothes all those little things around the house um yesterday i was

00:12:55.560 done work and i i worked from home but it was around 5 30 i finished up what i was doing and i just wanted

00:13:01.100 to go outside and like go for a walk maybe take some kids and fiddle around not really do anything

00:13:06.000 that mattered but maybe because i was getting ready for this i was like maybe my wife wants me to do

00:13:11.200 something so i just asked her uh hey hon is there anything outside that you want me to do while i'm

00:13:17.600 going out we just had a huge windstorm here over the weekend and we had a bunch of trees and branches

00:13:21.800 down she's like well you did go play with the chainsaw the other day and chopped up all these 0.85

00:13:27.120 branches all over the yard so if you can go out and clean up the branches you know that would be

00:13:31.900 important to me so that worked for me that's kind of a fun outside thing to do and i roped in some

00:13:37.240 kids to help me and some helped and some didn't help so much but we got some branches cleaned up

00:13:42.360 so i think it's just like constantly being aware and asking our wives hey what can we do to help you

00:13:48.340 and and then when she gives up when she tells us the answer to like go and do that thing so

00:13:54.780 just loving our wives and doing that any thoughts on that doris and laurie you know you're homeschool

00:14:01.680 moms you've you've gone through things what what are your thoughts on that well i was just thinking

00:14:07.480 about the task about getting some kids to go with you out there and um i know not all kids always want

00:14:15.980 to just drop everything and go do a chore for mom or dad or with mom or dad um how do you do that with

00:14:24.800 your kids to get them to like go with you out of the house it gives mom some space it gives her a bit

00:14:31.960 of a break there's less children around so suddenly the day's a little easier how do you get them

00:14:36.780 excited to go out with you to to go do something whether it's not just necessarily picking up the

00:14:43.200 branches but something else that is a great question as a dad you know because they carry some other way

00:14:51.000 of authority that we really really value as as moms and as women yeah don't get me wrong like they

00:15:00.000 weren't all gung-ho and wanted some did and some didn't but i think you know making things fun is

00:15:07.140 part of it and trying to as a dad i can speak for myself and probably other dads as well but you

00:15:13.660 you look at a job like we have 50 branches to clean up so everyone take two branches and let's go

00:15:21.000 and let's do this as efficiently as we can and as fast as we can and get it done and i think as dads

00:15:27.580 we need to sometimes just take a deep breath and be like okay uh mabel is three years old she was one 1.00

00:15:34.200 of my helpers yesterday like mabel is not gonna just start grabbing branches out of her own accord and 1.00

00:15:40.140 start pulling them across the yard and so i literally was like there's a small stick there

00:15:45.640 like it's like this big i'm like mabel you can pick up that small stick and bring it along i think we

00:15:51.140 need to give our kids age appropriate sort of things and that can be that can still be pushing

00:15:58.660 them to do something that i think we've settled for what is age appropriate compared to like what was

00:16:03.520 age appropriate a hundred years ago but right so making it fun i think matters and then doing it along

00:16:09.500 with them like the the goal it's different than like the work goal where you're trying to stay

00:16:14.940 in budget you're trying to stay in the hours for the job that you're doing you're trying to complete

00:16:19.420 it on time on budget it's like you're investing in your kids and looking at it not as like a task to

00:16:25.360 be accomplished but as a mentoring or discipleship or it's parenting that's what it is like i'm working

00:16:33.920 alongside with you we're going to do this together we're going to work together and i'm not here

00:16:39.900 sometimes i have to remind myself often i have to remind myself i'm not here just to accomplish the

00:16:45.120 task i'm here to teach and train and grow my children as well so if that means like showing

00:16:51.840 mabel it's easier to pull the stick this way with all the branches going the same way then pull the stick 1.00

00:16:56.480 the other way where they're all fighting you you know that matters and then when they want to

00:17:01.040 my five-year-old my six-year-old son obviously sticks are spears and swords and whips and all

00:17:08.260 sorts of weapons and so maybe just take a deep breath and don't get all bent out of shape when

00:17:13.640 he finds a stick and wants to like whack it against a tree instead of carrying it over to the burn pile

00:17:19.040 sometimes i think we just put a little bit too much pressure on our kids to do that have fun let them

00:17:25.200 do it my my grandfather he was a bricklayer and none of my uncles wanted to work with him ever

00:17:31.560 because he was like a perfectionist and if they had like the bricks were not exactly level you know he

00:17:37.520 would be really upset about that and so i think that could be a little bit of like the world war ii

00:17:43.580 generation which was a little more like rigid and strict my grandparents came here from holland and

00:17:48.820 lived through the war so they were different personality um but i think let's make it fun let's engage

00:17:54.580 our kids let's have fun with them and if they're not excited about it you know that's okay too and

00:17:59.460 maybe they'll be excited about a different kind of task maybe they don't want to pick up sticks but

00:18:02.920 maybe they want to help wash the van that sounds like a good time washing the van with all kids

00:18:08.160 oh yeah now there's water involved exactly i love that though that you're you're really discipling

00:18:15.160 them in how to work and in teamwork and you know like all kinds of things just even from that

00:18:21.400 three-year-old stage like even though they're not really helping it's actually making it more work

00:18:27.280 right exactly yeah totally but they're teaching them they're getting time with dad they're you know

00:18:35.320 like and you're not freaking out about you know things not being done as efficiently as they possibly

00:18:41.760 could but but you're teaching them so many things by involving them in these in these menial tasks that

00:18:48.180 can be uh really strategic and letting them know that yeah you're part of this family you can do

00:18:53.600 this you're capable you know i love that to kind of build on that a little bit like to involve a three-year-old

00:19:01.900 is one thing but to involve a 17 year old okay so she was inside last night helping make dinner 1.00

00:19:07.880 but my 17 year old so this is another uh concept but like what are your kids interested in

00:19:16.280 that you can become a part of so my 17 year old loves photography and cameras and videos and stuff

00:19:22.840 like that so a couple years ago there was a friend of mine was doing a like learn how to make videos on

00:19:28.960 your phone workshop at the local library so i wanted to go for myself because we were getting our youtube

00:19:35.160 channel started and i wanted to just learn this but i didn't just go by myself i took florence along with

00:19:40.960 me he was interested in this this was not like a kid's thing or like a teen thing this was like for

00:19:46.440 business people learning to use social media and stuff but let's include our kids in our business

00:19:52.480 conferences in our workshops we're going to i know a dad who did a lot of traveling he was a speaker

00:19:58.700 and he would always take one of his kids with him or his wife with him so if you wanted him to come

00:20:03.440 and speak you weren't just paying for him to fly in you were paying for his son or his daughter or his

00:20:08.520 wife so he was super intentional about even major travel stuff to include his kids in that there was

00:20:16.660 a worship conference this weekend at a church in town and i took my 12 year old and my 15 year old

00:20:22.040 and my 17 year old again this was not a thing for kids but we were talking about songwriting we were

00:20:27.120 talking about how to play music how to use our skills better and i'm like they were the only uh maybe

00:20:34.660 they weren't there was there was a couple other ones there but bringing our kids along with us

00:20:38.760 into adulty kind of stuff so that they can learn too so i'd encourage you to do that with what your

00:20:44.340 kids gifts are talent skills maybe it's not your jam maybe it's not your thing but can you can you

00:20:52.500 get involved in what they're interested in and can you bring them into what you're interested in

00:20:56.440 and do things together yeah absolutely and i even love that uh like being able to know what

00:21:02.840 your kids are geared towards and be able to equip them more for that too like we've got one daughter

00:21:08.000 that's fairly mechanically minded she's strong she's you know so she's the one that's often 1.00

00:21:13.900 helping my husband with things but she just wants to be capable and then my other one is just she you 0.97

00:21:20.140 know what she's better in the kitchen she's better you know doing some other things but he tries to

00:21:25.020 involve both of them from time to time so that they can both be capable in those ways and so do i

00:21:30.320 so just being able to to see the potential in your kids and uh and equip them for life some of these

00:21:37.180 skills you know like if you're doing a plumbing job we'll get get a few kids in there right because 1.00

00:21:42.780 it's it's good for them to see these kind of things from a young age absolutely we had like a go ahead

00:21:49.600 i was just thinking back to um so i only had daughters and uh my husband would after lunch he'd take the

00:21:58.700 kids he was with the um the coast guard auxiliary the search and rescue on the west coast and uh they

00:22:06.280 were building a boathouse and um so he said okay girls let's go and his energy so i think that whole

00:22:14.220 energy and excitement of either parent of making it adventurous and fun and rewarding he'd say okay

00:22:23.100 girls let's go let's go load up the flat deck trailer with wood that he lumbered and then and saw it and

00:22:30.240 then it was ready and then um they had to haul it off the trailer down the plank down to the dock and uh

00:22:38.920 it took a long time to build he did get help from the other members on the in the auxiliary but uh

00:22:45.100 it was really fun to watch them do things that i had didn't know how to do

00:22:51.680 and now they're in their 30s and now they know to how they know what tools look like they know what

00:22:57.840 the tool does and and how to use it and they're not shy or like i don't know how to do that i can't do that

00:23:04.720 you know they know how to do stuff and do you have to be good at everything no because we don't love

00:23:11.360 everything um even though i know how to cook do i love it not really i'd rather uh bake that i love

00:23:20.880 and so um it's equipping that's the really key thing and uh expecting what they can do because

00:23:32.080 sometimes we think well you know they're 17 or they're 16 or they're 13 they don't know how to do

00:23:38.080 this yet and i'll just do it myself well we're not enabling them to become well-rounded adults

00:23:46.520 later by not giving them the opportunity to at least be around you and to try or to hold something

00:23:53.160 while you're screwing something attaching something all these little things they all add up for later

00:24:01.880 and um it's pretty cool to see the fruit later on and in all the effort that's happened in the

00:24:10.340 earliest years yeah and doris you're seeing that now with your now that your daughters are grown up

00:24:17.700 and they're using some of those skills and and what you said about you know we don't have to be an

00:24:22.300 expert at everything but they could hold the board while you're screwing or whatever and and laurie what 1.00

00:24:28.180 you said about um your your one daughter's a little more mechanically inclined i think is what you said

00:24:33.660 and fiddling around we had to tie in those two thoughts together uh we are out in the country

00:24:40.340 here so we have a starlink internet satellite out in the yard and so if my internet dies you know maybe

00:24:46.040 one of the kids was out in the yard and knocked it over but my internet died the other day and i'm like

00:24:51.420 oh did something get unplugged so i did some searching around to see what had happened and my 10 year

00:24:56.140 old son like your daughter laurie he's mechanical anything with like a button or like a lever or a

00:25:01.240 gear on it like he wants to take it there's all kinds of disassembled bikes all over our yard that

00:25:05.600 he's just taken apart anyways our internet died i'm like what happened i found out our brand new puppy

00:25:11.700 had chewed through my internet cable out in the yard so this was more than just a unplug and fix

00:25:17.800 but i said i said to my tech crew okay boys do you think we can fix this cable so the boys are they're

00:25:25.860 10 and 12 they scattered to the shop to get pliers and wire strippers and and like i forget which one

00:25:32.540 of you said it but instead of doing it yourself i could have probably done it myself but i gave the

00:25:37.820 boys the tools and they stripped the wires there's eight tiny little wires in this internet cable and

00:25:43.380 they put them apart and then stripped them and then duct tape or electrical tape them back together

00:25:48.380 and and we got our internet working and i ordered a spare cable so that if it happens again you know

00:25:54.160 it will be a quick fix but that's a great example i think that ties in what you both were saying there

00:25:59.180 you don't have to be an expert at stuff but put things in their hands and try it and i didn't know

00:26:03.400 if we'd be able to fix it or not and the boys basically boys literally did all the work they took it

00:26:08.420 apart they put it together they spliced it together and yeah we got to give our kids those chances to

00:26:14.920 help in real life situations in in areas of their strength and sometimes even not in areas of their

00:26:19.960 strength yeah that's good before we uh move on to talking about your book which i do want to bring up

00:26:26.880 um how uh what are the some of the small things we're just going to go back to supporting your wife

00:26:33.540 when you were talking at the beginning about how you support your wife for the small things could

00:26:38.260 you give us some examples of some small things that you've done that have been noticeable by your

00:26:45.060 wife um and that sometimes we just need ideas you know sometimes men just need to know what it is

00:26:53.340 um we're very opposite we try our whole lives to figure each other out

00:26:57.720 it's it's an ongoing thing i think the lord knows all about that and so yeah what have you done to

00:27:09.200 to make the changes all right well i have done some of these things i literally have a list of like 25

00:27:14.920 small things that we can do to help our wives so i will just go through the list like i already said

00:27:22.220 like peeling carrots like helping with meal prep kind of jobs setting a table washing dishes that's

00:27:29.740 super practical you know helping clean the bathroom cleaning a toilet that is super practical

00:27:35.160 this is something that i didn't even know was a thing i think when i came up this list i would

00:27:41.020 literally like googled like some chores to help with around the house and this came up removing white

00:27:46.500 spots from the mirror like is that that's a thing there's white spots that show up

00:27:50.360 yeah i've seen that so that you know white when you're dying washing your face and brushing your

00:27:58.660 teeth in the morning you know wipe down the mirror have i ever done that i don't i don't think that i

00:28:04.440 have but there it's there's something that's on the list taking out the garbage that is something

00:28:08.880 that i have done usually though it's when i'm asked to do it so not only are there things to do but

00:28:14.600 can we as husbands take the initiative and see the things that have to be done

00:28:19.620 in our old house it was a two-story house and i would walk up the stairs and sometimes there would

00:28:24.920 be like a pile of folded clothes just sitting at the bottom of the stairs and i was like how did

00:28:30.900 these get here and what are they doing here and one day my wife said to me you know all those piles

00:28:36.980 of clothes at the bottom stairs like they're there so that when a person goes up the stairs they could

00:28:42.220 easily just pick up those clothes and bring them upstairs and put them in the correct room

00:28:47.320 and i was like oh yes dear yes dear i hear that so if you see things around the house

00:28:54.000 take the initiative to help with those little things changing a baby's diaper sometimes maybe

00:28:59.480 just holding a baby when there's lots of things to do around the house can you just hold the baby

00:29:04.420 for a little while and walk around with the baby taking the kids for a walk this is one that i've done

00:29:09.200 a lot like like you just said doris a few minutes ago to give her a little bit of a break

00:29:14.180 go outside walk down the road it's free you don't have to prepare anything you have to help a few

00:29:20.280 kids get their shoes on probably and find their shoes and find their socks so yeah it becomes a

00:29:25.040 bit of a task but take your kids out for a walk like such a simple thing but something that will

00:29:30.020 give your wife a little bit of time to herself hopefully and and just to rest and relax painting

00:29:35.900 dusting a bookcase this is something that has to be done you dust things to get the dust off

00:29:40.420 i think i have done that on occasion um well vacuuming out the car if your car or minivan is

00:29:47.520 anything like ours it's got goldfish and like apple cores and like orange peels and french fries all

00:29:54.860 on the floor how about taking the initiative and just like vacuuming out the van sometime uh that is

00:30:00.700 something i've done to help with doing things like uh dusting the blinds i i've got that on my list

00:30:07.580 here changing the cat's litter box like little like pet things that can be done kids have fish

00:30:12.820 our kids had goldfish for a little while change the goldfish uh water whatever so those are all

00:30:18.060 like chore sorts of things that we could do as men but what about this you know take your wife out on a 1.00

00:30:24.280 date take her out for dinner go to a marriage conference with with your wife you know your

00:30:29.480 marriage doesn't have to be like on the rocks or like collapsing to go to a marriage conference

00:30:33.680 it's great just to go learn learn how to communicate with your wife take her to a marriage conference

00:30:39.060 there's churches all over the place doing marriage conferences all the time um go for a walk with her

00:30:45.260 there's another thing just to talk about what's going on men men like to fix things you know men are

00:30:51.140 fixers if the sink's broken we want to fix the sink we don't want to talk about how we feel about the

00:30:56.040 sink or talk about our feelings you're probably familiar with the five love languages dr gary chapman's book

00:31:02.800 it's 20 or 30 years old now but he talks in there about empathy and like feeling what our wife feels

00:31:09.760 and for most men that probably doesn't come naturally to you but just take a minute to listen

00:31:15.460 to your wife how she's feeling ask her you know is this what you just said communicate like so i think

00:31:21.420 you're feeling this way and kind of repeat back to her this is some of the marriage conference tips

00:31:26.080 coming back here that i heard a couple weeks ago but listen to our wives how they're feeling and 1.00

00:31:30.520 understand our wives i think that's really important like i love that yeah no i love that

00:31:36.840 because um you're starting to touch on those love languages and that's exactly what i was thinking

00:31:41.660 like acts of service are great and honestly that probably needs to be done for every wife

00:31:47.460 but also realizing you know what maybe she needs encouragement maybe she's discouraged

00:31:52.840 or maybe there's you know a family conflict or something so when coming into the home

00:31:58.100 to be able to you know contribute to the positive atmosphere and you know not not bringing work

00:32:04.900 home not bringing you know all those things home my husband was was pretty good about like just

00:32:09.740 leaving work at work as much as possible and then coming home and being present and and realizing that

00:32:17.120 um uh i i've heard the saying happy wife happy life but i've also think that happy happy happy home

00:32:26.980 like it really does affect the atmosphere of the home so you know seeing what ways can i you know love my

00:32:34.960 wife in the five different areas you know and and what does she most need today 1.00

00:32:40.240 yeah and i think that's part of understanding and empathy like is your wife's love language is it acts

00:32:48.340 of service or is it physical touch or is it quality time or is it words of affirmation and what i don't

00:32:55.820 remember what's the last one uh gifts gifts right yeah so under part of empathy and encouraging our

00:33:01.560 wives is what is the language she speaks her love language and it might be different from yours 1.00

00:33:06.780 so learn what it is you can ask her how she feels love and get those answers on walk or on a date night

00:33:14.200 start that conversation because sometimes how we think how i would receive love is not how my wife 0.53

00:33:19.680 received love and so i need to learn as husbands we've got to learn a lifetime of learning all about

00:33:25.100 our wives but yes i agree that every wife probably needs acts of service at some point and every wife

00:33:32.920 probably needs some encouragement at some point or you know time with them so yeah just understanding

00:33:38.700 their primary love language as well as okay what's what's needed in this moment what about um teaching

00:33:47.460 a subject to half the kids three of the kids depending on what it is and passing on a skill

00:33:56.660 as a dad to the kids um have you found any of those that you're that makes sense and that happening

00:34:06.180 in your family that you really like resonate with and and you want to be a part of yes it can be school

00:34:13.680 without there being a workbook yes uh something that comes to mind you know there's lots of curriculum

00:34:19.560 companies that have like mini units or like mini topics or mini subjects and so we got beehives a

00:34:26.940 couple years ago and one of these mini units that my wife found in the curriculum was about beekeeping

00:34:32.880 so in that case it did have like a workbook to go along with it and we went through the lessons and

00:34:38.340 learned about bees but then we also could go out to the yard and we built the beehives and we

00:34:44.080 harvested the we pulled the i forget what they're all called now it was a couple years but we took care

00:34:49.620 of the bees so there was some activity involved in that it wasn't just the book things so helping them

00:34:55.340 learn uh about bees so lots of actual curriculum and small unit studies uh can be used as that

00:35:01.560 they did one uh i think it was from gather round curriculum it was about canadian government

00:35:07.180 uh and learning about the government so we talked a little bit about that

00:35:10.860 i took my kids i take one kid to um city hall for like the town council meetings i've done that a few

00:35:18.540 times bring my 10 year old or my 12 year old to town council and learning about government and

00:35:22.940 learning about how things operate and trying to be intentional about those sort of teaching moments

00:35:28.140 so when we went into the meeting i said to my 10 year old son i said just watch this meeting like who

00:35:33.540 has the influence here who's running the meeting who's asking questions to give him some things to

00:35:38.840 kind of think about while we're in the meeting not just sit at a boring city council meeting and see

00:35:43.780 what's going on but kind of prep the you know prep the his brain to start thinking and observing

00:35:49.860 and looking for some things in that meeting another thing we've done like practically hold

00:35:54.440 this board while i put the screws in uh we built bunk beds for for four or five six of our kids so

00:36:00.900 the boys were helping the girls were helping they were using saws they were using drills they were

00:36:06.660 measuring they were sanding they were staining so they were getting super practical not professional

00:36:13.600 but dad hack tips on how to how to make bunk beds and just involving them in tree pruning and lawn mowing

00:36:22.020 like there's so many things that you need to do around a house plumbing one of you mentioned plumbing you

00:36:25.800 know using the plunger in the toilet or with we have seven girls in our house so drains in our bathroom 1.00

00:36:33.680 sinks seem to fill up with hair on a regular basis and my boys have been able to like okay

00:36:40.920 unscrew the thing in the trap at the bottom and pull out all your sister's hair out of the traps 0.99

00:36:49.160 yeah so just looking for practical little things around the house to learn about and have them sit

00:36:55.760 beside you when you do it we've fixed washing machines or dryers and the boys are there and the girls

00:37:01.680 taking screws out putting parts on there's so many opportunities to learn if we're you got to look

00:37:08.060 for it because naturally like i think you said doris i would want to do all the stuff myself

00:37:11.940 but we can leverage it by pulling them in to help with all those sorts of things you're making them

00:37:17.780 become capable and i think that's a really key thing in today's generation um i remember a friend of my

00:37:26.460 one of my daughters uh she was going to the public school and an amazing kid and we were making cookies

00:37:33.280 this girl was in grade 11 and she said to me i've never made cookies and to me that's something

00:37:39.560 you do like in grade two and three already with your kid or even earlier like they can start mixing

00:37:44.640 or something right and i realized then and that was a while ago and i see it even now a lot of kids are

00:37:51.300 not very capable um for their very basic things and it's so important to have them come alongside us and

00:38:00.040 work with us show us show us show them how to do things and um you know i think what you're doing

00:38:07.820 with your kids is is just fantastic um i'm gonna switch here a little bit about how or what are some

00:38:15.240 of the things for dads what what does a dad need when he comes home from work and i know it's you can

00:38:24.420 have two kids or 10 um it's the high needs hour as my brother of eight says and uh it's all hands on

00:38:33.260 deck and the kids are starting to they're falling down at the end of their day and so there's all of

00:38:40.060 that intense busyness but you know let's say from whenever the the time dad wakes up to the time he

00:38:46.120 lays his head down at night what are two or three of his core basic needs that have that need to be met

00:38:54.100 in a homeschool family we just watched mary poppins uh on the weekend and i i have never noticed this

00:39:04.220 in mary poppins but have you guys have seen mary poppins i'm assuming yeah so in mary poppins you

00:39:09.880 have mr banks mr banks he works at the bank and he works hard all day and his kids go to the bank with

00:39:15.640 him and pause a run on the bank and it creates a big disaster but then burt the chimney sweep says to

00:39:23.560 his kid says to the kids about their dad he's like you know your dad works hard all day long and

00:39:29.720 he doesn't have someone to give him a hug or help him out and you kids can do that when he gets home

00:39:35.640 from work and love your dad and burt the chimney sweep gives this motivational talk to these two kids

00:39:41.340 about how to help their uptight dad who is the banker and i just thought that was so great i've seen

00:39:47.220 that movie 20 times and i never noticed that burt gave this motivational speech to the kids but

00:39:52.080 to to the point in there is that yeah dads are carrying lots of stuff too and dads can be

00:39:59.680 guilty of being distracted because you're thinking of this invoice that hasn't been paid and this

00:40:04.760 customer owes you money and you've got this project due and it's behind and the suppliers aren't coming

00:40:09.560 through and on and on and on so a lot of dads are like looking out in space me included when you're

00:40:14.680 with your family because you're thinking about all these things that have to happen and so what dads need

00:40:20.500 i believe in what is is support and love from their family and one of my kids my my son my 10-year-old

00:40:28.460 son justice he's good at the end of the day he asked me yesterday like dad what was the best part

00:40:33.260 of your day today and i was like i said nothing it wasn't a very good day it wasn't very good but

00:40:38.900 but to ask your get involved if you're if your kids ask your dad you know how did your day go dad is

00:40:45.080 there anything i can help you with how many kids ask their dad hey is there anything i can help you

00:40:48.320 with uh from a mom and a wife perspective you know physical touch is very important to many men

00:40:56.560 and in the bedroom and love and all that kind of stuff like it doesn't get talked about too often

00:41:02.000 well depending what circles you're in but men need love from their wives and i it's very important and

00:41:08.780 very women like to talk and men like to go to the bedroom and have a good time so that is very 0.98

00:41:15.360 important and i think some homeschooling moms don't or not only homeschooling moms but women 1.00

00:41:20.160 and mothers and wives don't realize how important that is to their husbands and um sometimes you know

00:41:26.320 we have 10 kids and there's lots to do and my wife is tired at the end of the day and i totally get that

00:41:32.000 but just to show affection and show love to your husband and even like give him a hug when he gets

00:41:36.960 home a long hug love him just tell him that you love him ask him how his day was ask if there's

00:41:42.880 anything you can do to help you know i think there's some practical stuff in there that that

00:41:47.680 i mentioned that you can do to support and love your husbands because dads need love as well yeah 0.78

00:41:53.040 even just even in that moment of when your wife or a wife embraces her husband after work that's only

00:42:01.460 like three minutes that's not going to take up hours every day you know and it goes so far

00:42:07.460 you know yeah even i like it when somebody says what can i do to help you at the house you know

00:42:13.900 because i always need help with something that's broken here and if somebody asks me i'm like i'll

00:42:19.260 take you i'll take you on that one yeah i've i found that just even helping like i always think of

00:42:27.300 the men's brains are like waffles and the women's are like spaghetti but being able to just break them 1.00

00:42:32.420 out of maybe their work mindset and so when my husband comes home from work i always greet him

00:42:38.160 hey handsome and it just breaks him out of that you know work mode into you know like oh she likes me

00:42:45.660 she's being affectionate you know that kind of thing so i find that that's you know just just helping

00:42:50.920 them kind of get in the the mode of okay i'm home i'm not you know whatever at work i'm i'm here i'm a

00:42:59.980 husband i'm a father here and i need to just kind of switch and i'm i'm loved here i'm accepted you

00:43:06.700 know that kind of thing yes yeah that's great and all those little kind of playful love things are or

00:43:14.320 texts or whatever you know those are all good things to remind your husband who you are and that

00:43:19.920 you love him and calling him handsome or cutie or hot lips or whatever you know all this kind of

00:43:25.100 little fun jokey things who can switch his brain from work to home pretty quickly yeah yeah for sure

00:43:32.740 and tone of voice um facial expression you know if there's that scornful look like i've had the kids

00:43:41.360 all day and where have you been look you know doesn't work very well

00:43:45.480 you know it all comes back it all circles around to kind of where we started it's those small things

00:43:52.380 and they don't always they i'm going to say they don't come natural to us you know our natural

00:43:57.280 tendency is to be selfish so we husbands and wives like we need to just be doing our best to look at

00:44:04.080 how we can serve our spouse and love them and sacrifice for them and constantly have to remind

00:44:10.940 ourselves don't be selfish don't be selfish don't be selfish love ally love ally love ally love ally

00:44:16.440 my wife's so i think us women same we we constantly have to remind ourselves of our roles 1.00

00:44:23.320 and how to support husbands as well um i want to switch over to your fantastic book here

00:44:30.600 there it is dangers in the jungle and it's a trilogy first of the trilogy riders of the lost reptiles

00:44:39.180 correct yes ma'am so i've got to get my reading glasses on here i just read in the back of the

00:44:46.420 book um why are arrows parents tied up why are quinn and his brothers being attacked who is the

00:44:54.420 strange man running from the tyrannosaurus rex imagine you could leap on your dinosaur and ride

00:45:01.340 away on adventures through the jungle that one really caught my eye so tell us why you wrote the

00:45:09.120 book and yeah who it's geared for yes thank you let me talk about my propaganda here you know what

00:45:18.120 we have a lot of kids and they love reading we are always looking for new and good books for our kids

00:45:24.680 to read and they've read like focus on the family has the imagination station books they've read a bunch

00:45:29.380 of those and they've read the old hardy boys books and there's all they've read lots of books but we're

00:45:34.400 always looking for new books and if you've ever walked through like chapters indigo or the bookstore

00:45:39.180 looking at like this eight to twelve year old kind of age group books boy you see a lot of vampires and

00:45:46.540 you see a lot of witches and you see a lot like horror teddy bears is the latest thing you know and

00:45:52.760 it's just like i think we can do better for our kids and so about two years ago i started writing this

00:45:58.740 book i knew my kids my i wrote it with my boys in mind and i looked at it like my competition is not

00:46:05.060 other books but my competition is like xbox and playstation and all these like high activity like

00:46:12.200 adventuresome things technology phone youtube so i needed something that was going to keep their

00:46:17.860 attention so i wrote this book with short short chapters lots of adventure boys doing exciting things

00:46:25.220 and then i also wanted to have dads and family as part of this and so kind of in my head i pictured

00:46:32.560 hardy boys and jurassic park and indiana jones those were the three kind of things i was trying to put

00:46:38.780 together for my book here and so it is about yes it's about two teenage boys and they ride dinosaurs

00:46:44.880 one of them rides a triceratops and the other one rides a lambiosaurus there's lots of dinosaurs and so

00:46:50.720 kids love dinosaurs wanted to put that in my book make it exciting full of adventure but also to inspire

00:46:56.760 kids towards mentorship towards relationship with older men to learn from them and so that's a big

00:47:03.380 theme in the book is young men and older men doing things together and learning and growing together

00:47:09.100 that's wonderful um yeah i just started reading it and i i actually ordered a couple of books and gave

00:47:15.780 one to my daughter last night to start reading to her kids and um i noticed your chapters are nice and

00:47:23.460 easy to read they're not long so that keeps their i guess the attention span of somebody who

00:47:30.760 isn't you know sitting still perhaps or yeah did you have that in mind when you wrote it

00:47:37.700 absolutely so when i was kind of testing reading it to my own kids my six-year-old boy you know the

00:47:44.900 the key for me was when i would finish a chapter when i was putting to bed and be like no no no

00:47:48.880 keep reading dad keep reading dad i was like okay i think i'm on the right track if he keeps asking me

00:47:54.360 to read more and i've heard that same feedback from some other parents who have read it they're like i

00:47:58.840 tried to read it to my kids at night and they want me to keep reading the next chapter and the next

00:48:02.600 chapter so so it's working i think it's keeping their attention i've got some great feedback from moms

00:48:08.360 and dads that are reading this to their kids or the kids are reading it and uh i saw a boy at church

00:48:13.180 reading it the other day during church i don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing but

00:48:16.660 oh that's awesome well i hope it goes you do well with that and have you started on your

00:48:23.520 the next book already i have started on the next book uh it's probably about a third of the way done

00:48:29.540 but currently i'm working on a spanish version so we made some contacts when we were in dominican

00:48:34.540 republic and we just did a missions trip to guatemala so i have some kind of contacts in latin america

00:48:39.680 so i'm working on spanish version right now and i'm working on like a book study that

00:48:43.580 i had some homeschooling moms ask me like do you have a study that goes along with this with your 0.98

00:48:47.900 book so i've got that kind of first draft working on and then book two will come at some point in the

00:48:53.960 future oh that's exciting i'm really happy for you and this is really great content and i'll make sure

00:49:00.880 we get it out and promote this book awesome and where do we find that book is that on your website or

00:49:07.420 where can people find it you can find it on amazon uh so i published through amazon so it's uh it was

00:49:13.120 a simple and quick system but yeah you can go to heydads.ca and it will take you to all the links

00:49:17.800 for the book whether you're in the states or in canada uh but danger in the jungle is the name of the book

00:49:23.480 part of the riders of the lost reptiles series there we go awesome thank you for that and um tell us

00:49:33.040 before we close and before you uh make some final comments tell us about your uh helping men thrive

00:49:39.720 podcast yes uh so my friend brian and i uh we started this i'm gonna say about two years ago

00:49:47.420 and um i touched a little bit about this on the beginning but basically we were just rhyming off

00:49:52.900 names of friends and acquaintances that these are guys from our church these are small group leaders

00:49:59.500 these are bible study leaders uh guys that have from our opinion look like they had it all together

00:50:05.740 and all of a sudden they start getting separated they start getting divorced and we're like can we

00:50:12.380 do anything to help these guys they're our friends they're our brothers they're guys in our communities

00:50:17.120 in our churches at our work could we do anything to help them we said well there's lots of free tools

00:50:22.220 youtube podcasting tons of free things to get content out there so we decided to start a youtube channel

00:50:27.360 really to encourage the work-life balance is kind of what our focus is and so we interview um men

00:50:34.460 we've got interviews coming up with dr rob reno from visionary family ministries some of your viewers

00:50:39.840 might be familiar with him i interviewed todd wilson that that's up on our youtube channel right now

00:50:44.840 at helping men thrive but just to encourage men again i maybe sound like a broken record but to be

00:50:50.760 intentional in our most important organization in our marriages in our families because at the end of the day

00:50:56.740 that's what's going to last and that what that's what is the most important so helping men thrive is

00:51:01.800 the podcast and youtube channel and is it uh like something that you can just um are they like pre-recorded

00:51:10.440 and you play them in the car kind of thing or are they live or both yeah no they're pre-recorded

00:51:16.120 they're on any podcast service you know itunes and spotify and all that it's all the podcast audio is

00:51:21.520 in all those formats pretty much wherever you get podcasts and then the videos are also on youtube

00:51:27.040 we're just getting ready to release our next batch of interviews so just to encourage dads you know

00:51:32.480 dads you're not in this by yourself moms and dads there's other others of us out there and and you've

00:51:38.380 got what it takes to to do what you need to do in your homes thank you no that's very encouraging

00:51:44.120 very very much so thank you so much jason weaning for for joining us this morning or at least it's

00:51:51.140 still morning or i am it's probably afternoon on the other side of canada and um so yeah before we

00:51:58.260 wrap up do you have any you know closing comments or encouragement you can pass on maybe one for mom

00:52:06.280 and one for dad yeah absolutely um todd wilson said this when when i was talking to him he's like you

00:52:14.500 know it's hard let's just acknowledge that there are hard things in life and there are other stressors

00:52:21.560 in life i think maybe laurie you mentioned this but like other relationship things and family things

00:52:27.240 and in-law things there are other things in life outside of your home that influence you know how your

00:52:33.140 husband is feeling or how your wife is feeling and financial worries and so there's all kinds of

00:52:37.640 things happening in our ecosystems and in our in our world so i just want to encourage you that hey

00:52:43.020 it is hard but you can do it you can do it you've got what it takes and just know that you don't need

00:52:49.800 to compare yourself to the other homeschooling families that have it all together you know no one's

00:52:54.240 got it all together and so todd wilson says this too don't despair don't compare you've got what it

00:53:01.660 takes you can do it it matters what you're doing it matters even if there's laundry on the floor even

00:53:07.220 if there's dishes piled on the counter even if you know if i move my camera around you'd see books on

00:53:12.340 the floor and toys and dinosaur things all around me you know it matters what you're doing you've got

00:53:18.540 what it takes thank you that's awesome advice and encouragement so we're going to wrap it up and

00:53:25.860 again folks here is the book danger in the jungle by jason weaning and we are just thrilled that you've

00:53:33.340 spent time with us here today and all this information will be uploaded um hopefully by the

00:53:40.940 weekend and you can find uh more of the links there and if you can't remember it's heydads.ca you can find

00:53:50.100 jason's ministry there as well so

00:53:55.860 you

00:53:57.920 you

Action4Canada - October 11, 2024

How Dads Can Show Support in the Home School

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