Ali Dawah - January 27, 2020


5 FACTS TO PORNOGRAPHY - REACTION VIDEO


Episode Stats

Length

19 minutes

Words per Minute

167.99832

Word Count

3,203

Sentence Count

254

Misogynist Sentences

13

Hate Speech Sentences

8


Summary

In this episode, we discuss the dangers of pornography and the impact it can have on our mental and physical health. We also talk about the role that pornography can have in our families and how it can affect our children.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 My Ilm is a new app for Muslim kids. The app is home to hours of Muslim-friendly and Islamic cartoons and series.
00:00:08.180 In line with Islamic Sharia Council guidance, all shows promote good morals and manners and feature no instrumental music and no ads.
00:00:16.780 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh brothers and sisters and dear friends.
00:00:19.760 Welcome to this video. We're going to be discussing something that is affecting a lot of people's lives.
00:00:24.500 And that thing is pornography.
00:00:26.440 Now pornography cannot, well it is an addiction, but they can't really classify it as a literal addiction because science deals with an empirical world.
00:00:41.540 Meaning, you know, what we observe our five senses empirically.
00:00:45.080 So we can't really say porn is an addiction because, you know, we don't really see, you know, direct addiction.
00:00:51.160 You know, if you come off it you're going to die or stuff like that, do you know what I'm trying to say.
00:00:53.660 So, and this is the sad reality because we think that all we know to our world is empirical, you know.
00:01:01.360 There's no metaphysical, you know, there is no spiritual.
00:01:03.800 It's just, you know, whatever we see and touch, you know.
00:01:07.600 Seeing is believing, that's what it is.
00:01:09.840 But sadly a lot of atheists like Sam Harris and the others have come to a realisation that there is a spiritual aspect to our life
00:01:15.240 and they have turned into spirituality.
00:01:17.500 Funnily enough, yep.
00:01:18.980 Anyways, so today that's what we're going to discuss.
00:01:22.200 Before I start, I want to praise Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, the most merciful, the most just, all praises, glory and gratitude belong to him.
00:01:27.360 As a Muslim, I'm going to be going through five dangers that pornography causes.
00:01:32.820 Now, today I got a message from a sister who said to me, which she was anonymous,
00:01:40.480 said to me that she hasn't consummated her marriage for two years.
00:01:44.780 For two years, she hasn't consummated her marriage.
00:01:48.840 And I was like, wow, you know, like, you know, we all have needs in a halal way and you got married.
00:01:54.400 That's one of the things, you know, the rights your husband has.
00:01:56.780 And you also have a, as a wife as well, you know, it's important for a woman to be satisfied in her marriage, married life as well by her husband.
00:02:03.040 However, for two years, wow, and this could give a right to a man to ask for divorce.
00:02:09.020 And if you're going through this, we're not asking you to do that to find other solutions, which we try to help the sister with anyways.
00:02:14.860 But we're going to watch a video.
00:02:16.600 Now, this video that you can see on the screen, as you can see, serial killers, yeah?
00:02:22.080 There is a documentary about this where it shows a correlation.
00:02:27.140 Correlation doesn't necessarily mean causation.
00:02:28.900 Just because there's, you know, certain people have a certain trait or certain thing that they do,
00:02:34.280 that can't be linked with that.
00:02:36.540 So serial killers, a lot of them would claim that they watch pornography, violent pornography.
00:02:40.860 This is the same with this guy, Ted Bundy, who killed about 34 females, and I think mainly females, yeah.
00:02:47.680 We're going to react to a video here, inshallah.
00:02:50.680 And what we're going to do is we're going to see a man who was addicted to pornography.
00:02:54.820 And let's see what we can learn from this.
00:02:56.200 And we're going to come straight back and discuss the five harmful effects of pornography, inshallah.
00:03:01.260 ...stating to relationships and sexual health.
00:03:03.900 Technology is giving more people, mostly men, easy access to pornography.
00:03:07.700 Okay. Local 10 medical specialist Christy Krueger looked at the long-term effects on the brain
00:03:12.140 and how specialists are helping men escape their addiction.
00:03:16.520 I was reporting for 15 to 30 minutes a day, every day, all through my teenage years.
00:03:20.920 29-year-old Gabe Deem admits he had a problem that started surprisingly early.
00:03:26.440 I was first exposed to porn when I was 8 years old.
00:03:29.160 The older he got, the more he watched.
00:03:31.240 8 years old.
00:03:33.600 He got exposed to pornography, 8 years old.
00:03:37.340 Now, this is the reason why our sponsor today is Myilm.
00:03:41.240 They are an apple, and I really need to urge this.
00:03:44.380 Your children, your kids, your nephews, your nieces, your brothers or sisters.
00:03:48.640 What they're watching can lead to other stuff, even on YouTube, yeah.
00:03:51.920 One thing can lead to another, and next thing you know, you're searching God knows what.
00:03:55.440 Right now, as I opened this video, there was, on the right-hand side, which I'm going to probably blurt,
00:04:02.540 is a suggestion of a popular, apparently a popular pornography actress.
00:04:08.420 They could have easily gone and searched that name.
00:04:09.980 Easily.
00:04:11.800 Myilm is actually giving a platform for Muslims, young Muslims, to have cartoons,
00:04:17.460 which is controlled in a controlled environment, and doesn't go into God knows other stuff.
00:04:22.720 But, protect your children.
00:04:24.380 Please, for the sake of Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, download the app,
00:04:26.800 or at least, if you don't want to, support it, by subscribing monthly, inshallah.
00:04:31.180 But, let's carry on, because this is very profound.
00:04:34.080 I went to a high school that gave all their students their laptops,
00:04:38.480 and we first figured out how to play video games,
00:04:41.140 and the second thing we did was figure out how to watch porn on them.
00:04:43.580 Wow.
00:04:44.260 From video games to pornography.
00:04:47.620 Video games to pornography.
00:04:48.840 If you look at it, from something so, you can say innocent,
00:04:52.760 it depends on what you're playing, to pornography.
00:04:56.340 The addictive habit started affecting his adult relationships.
00:05:00.220 It was horrible.
00:05:01.280 They thought it was them.
00:05:02.860 You know, a partner will think they're not attractive enough,
00:05:05.760 and again, that's completely not the case.
00:05:07.760 And we're going to come to this.
00:05:08.820 Very fundamental.
00:05:10.160 A partner feels that they're not attractive enough.
00:05:12.420 Is it a problem with a partner, or a problem with a person?
00:05:15.140 Neurosurgeons have actually studied the brains of people who watch porn,
00:05:19.940 and they found that the brain gets rewired.
00:05:22.480 It starts to crave things like pixels rather than people.
00:05:26.280 Literally, anything the individual imagines can be produced within a few clicks.
00:05:32.960 And so it's that novelty that drives this tremendous search for variety.
00:05:39.060 Craving that novelty can be defined as an addiction.
00:05:41.940 Someone that's addicted to cocaine, when they see a line of cocaine,
00:05:46.920 the reward center of their brain on functional MRI or fMRI lights up like a Christmas tree.
00:05:52.420 And an interesting study out of Cambridge University looked almost identical to cocaine
00:05:57.700 with individuals that considered themselves addicted to porn.
00:06:01.900 But medical health experts say it's not really a true addiction.
00:06:05.360 People can die if they are not weaned off drugs or alcohol.
00:06:09.680 So physiologically, the same thing is not happening when you stop a sex or porn problem
00:06:15.920 versus when you stop a drug or alcohol problem.
00:06:18.500 It's two different processes, which is why we can't label it as an addiction.
00:06:22.600 Gabe stopped what?
00:06:24.560 Take off.
00:06:25.640 Forget how it kills you spiritually.
00:06:27.680 Your heart, your brain, your soul.
00:06:31.340 Forget it.
00:06:31.800 We don't see any harms in the outside, so it's okay.
00:06:34.560 No problem.
00:06:35.000 We're born six years ago and turned back to the internet for some help.
00:06:39.120 But some experts say parents can really offer the best support.
00:06:42.700 Talk to the child about avoiding internet porn as much as possible
00:06:46.680 because what they're viewing isn't representative of what they're going to experience in the real world
00:06:52.060 and encourage them to form real-life healthy relationships.
00:06:55.620 And when they're ready, sexual relationships.
00:06:57.940 Now, what we're going to do is, we're going to go to...
00:07:06.940 We're going to go to...
00:07:09.940 Okay.
00:07:11.540 This is...
00:07:13.440 His name is Ted Bundy.
00:07:15.140 Yeah?
00:07:15.260 So this guy now talks about what played a role in him killing about 34 people, a serial killer.
00:07:22.260 The question here.
00:07:23.820 The question and the issue is how this kind of literature contributed
00:07:29.660 and helped mold and shape the kinds of violent behavior.
00:07:33.940 It fueled your fantasies.
00:07:35.600 Well, in the beginning, it fuels this kind of thought process.
00:07:40.840 Then, at a certain time, it's instrumental in what I would say crystallizing
00:07:45.860 and making it into something which is almost like a separate entity inside.
00:07:52.020 And at that point, you're at the verge, or I was at the verge of acting out on these kinds of things.
00:07:58.460 I really want to understand that.
00:08:00.000 You had gone about as far as you could go in your own fantasy life with printed material.
00:08:06.380 And you made or printed in video or film or film...
00:08:11.400 Film, magazines, what have you.
00:08:13.240 And then there was the urge to take that little step or big step over to a physical life.
00:08:21.280 And it happens...
00:08:22.400 It happened in stages, gradually.
00:08:25.660 It doesn't necessarily, not to me at least, happen overnight.
00:08:28.620 My experience with, I say, pornography generally,
00:08:33.060 but with pornography that deals on a violent level with sexuality,
00:08:38.320 is that once you become addicted to it,
00:08:42.980 and I look at this as a kind of addiction,
00:08:45.480 like other kinds of addiction, I would keep looking for more potent, more explicit,
00:08:52.360 more graphic kinds of material.
00:08:54.240 Like an addiction, you keep craving something which is harder, harder.
00:08:58.920 Something which gives you a greater sense of excitement.
00:09:05.040 Until you reach the point where the pornography only goes so far.
00:09:08.260 You reach that jumping off point where you begin to wonder if maybe actually doing it
00:09:13.800 will give you that which is beyond just reading about it or looking at it.
00:09:19.940 Guys, do you hear what he's saying?
00:09:22.800 It is like, and studies show that it is like taking drugs,
00:09:27.180 the part of the brain where it receives dopamine, lights up.
00:09:31.740 And this is exactly what he's saying.
00:09:33.680 He's saying that he wanted to...
00:09:35.020 He was watching violent pornography, yeah?
00:09:37.300 And we can argue, okay, does pornography lead to, you know, serial killers, etc.,
00:09:42.640 until the cows come home.
00:09:43.960 Okay?
00:09:44.920 The point here is this.
00:09:46.200 Even if those people who are watching pornography are not going to the levels of killing people
00:09:51.880 on an epidemic level, even one too many is too much.
00:09:56.160 This very thing destroys your soul.
00:09:59.320 Number one, it harms relationships.
00:10:03.500 There has been multiple studies on how pornography affects relationships and the findings are quite alarming.
00:10:08.240 Now, your relationship, this sister that messaged me today,
00:10:13.520 she hasn't had intercourse with her own husband for two years
00:10:17.820 because she says that what she watches she gets more gratitude from, yeah?
00:10:24.660 She gets more turned on from what she's watching from.
00:10:26.540 So she's not finding her husband pleasing, yeah?
00:10:30.480 So you can see the harms in a relationship, yeah?
00:10:33.660 Now, this relationship can change.
00:10:35.800 There are men who watch these kinds of stuff.
00:10:38.160 And most of the times in pornography,
00:10:40.200 it's the woman that is being the one subjugated to assault, you know?
00:10:46.200 And if you think about it,
00:10:48.240 it's in a context, it's a woman at the receiving end, you know?
00:10:52.220 In intimacy, it's usually, and you can talk about it,
00:10:54.760 you know, let's not be shy here when it comes to religion.
00:10:57.580 Even if a woman is sexually on top with her husband,
00:11:00.880 it's still kind of the man that's in charge.
00:11:02.940 So this is kind of mirrored into the pornography industry.
00:11:07.940 And you can see women being strangled.
00:11:10.220 And being strangled, there's cases of,
00:11:12.480 in 2017, James Moulton strangled to death Hannah Pearson
00:11:15.540 as he had an addiction to violent pornography
00:11:17.800 and he strangled her to death.
00:11:20.140 Same, John Maiden killed his niece, T. Rick, yeah?
00:11:23.360 By overdosing her with drugs.
00:11:25.600 And also, Graham Cowes, strangled to death Jane Longhurst.
00:11:30.640 Yeah, they were having like some free something going on, etc.
00:11:33.340 Then you have Nathan Matthews and Shuan Ho,
00:11:36.320 him and his girlfriend killed their step-sister Becky Watts.
00:11:42.720 And all of these people were prone to violent pornography.
00:11:46.680 Yeah?
00:11:47.200 All of them were prone to violent pornography.
00:11:50.340 So, watching violent pornography, this is what it does.
00:11:52.500 And the least that you can say is that these men who are watching this,
00:11:56.740 and women as well,
00:11:58.000 men tend to look and degrade women.
00:12:01.020 Because it dehumanizes a woman.
00:12:03.400 A study was done where they showed a man, a half-naked woman.
00:12:08.720 And the part of the brain that is lit up for tool use got lit up.
00:12:14.660 Meaning that he did not even see the woman as a human.
00:12:18.880 He saw her as an object.
00:12:20.760 So, if you think about it,
00:12:25.600 men who are watching this,
00:12:27.660 they are not looking at females on a day-to-day basis.
00:12:31.520 Whoever it may be, when they're walking,
00:12:32.960 it can be a sister in Niqab, Hijab, whatever.
00:12:34.800 They are building fetishes.
00:12:36.620 In their head, they're thinking,
00:12:37.800 I want to act like this and hit them.
00:12:40.260 Because what they're thinking is,
00:12:41.300 these are not human.
00:12:42.900 Yeah?
00:12:43.360 And this is what they're doing.
00:12:44.600 They're acting it out.
00:12:46.080 They're putting it into action.
00:12:47.760 How?
00:12:48.320 By looking and dehumanizing them.
00:12:50.360 Using girls, giving them.
00:12:51.680 Why?
00:12:52.520 Because they're watching this and they want that.
00:12:55.120 They're watching pornography.
00:12:56.380 And like he said, it's not enough.
00:12:57.980 Now they want to go out and act it.
00:13:00.480 They've seen it and they've destroyed their fitrah.
00:13:02.960 And they're going out there to find their prey.
00:13:06.180 And lie and cheat or whatever.
00:13:08.120 Take pictures the most indecent way.
00:13:10.920 Do wide-having intimacy, you know,
00:13:13.380 hitting that person, etc. in different ways,
00:13:16.620 whatever it may be.
00:13:17.960 Why?
00:13:18.660 Because deep inside,
00:13:20.300 they've got this thing that they've watched
00:13:22.260 and they want to live that in real life.
00:13:25.080 That's number one.
00:13:25.720 Number two, it becomes addictive.
00:13:27.300 So you don't stop with one and you'd be like,
00:13:29.580 no, you then see watching bestality.
00:13:32.340 Yeah?
00:13:33.260 You're watching pornography where children,
00:13:36.180 are being abused.
00:13:37.500 So for example,
00:13:38.120 the case of Nathan Matthews and Shuan Ho,
00:13:41.140 he was watching a video,
00:13:43.200 pornography video called,
00:13:44.260 titled,
00:13:45.920 Raping and Killing Virgin Girl in Her Own House,
00:13:48.640 before he killed his own stepsister.
00:13:50.880 So you can see it becomes an addiction
00:13:54.440 to the point where you have straight men
00:13:56.940 watching gay pornography.
00:14:00.440 Yes.
00:14:01.180 Why?
00:14:01.600 Because it's curiosity.
00:14:02.880 And then what's happening is,
00:14:04.100 while they're watching this,
00:14:05.160 if they see some kind of a likeness towards this,
00:14:08.260 they're like, oh my gosh,
00:14:08.820 I'm homosexual,
00:14:09.500 I'm gay.
00:14:10.300 And then from there,
00:14:11.620 God knows what starts.
00:14:12.940 Number three,
00:14:13.460 it gives unrealistic expectations
00:14:15.920 in marriage and outside of marriage.
00:14:18.080 What happens is,
00:14:18.920 you are looking at these females,
00:14:20.360 and if you look at it,
00:14:21.560 this is what it's been told.
00:14:23.300 It's no secret that the pornography industry
00:14:25.440 is just that.
00:14:26.040 An industry,
00:14:26.560 in order to make money,
00:14:27.660 they make everything look absolutely perfect.
00:14:31.160 As stated by Fight the New Drug,
00:14:34.200 professional porn actors have a whole team of people
00:14:36.200 to make every detail look perfect,
00:14:38.080 from directing and filming to lighting and makeup,
00:14:40.780 maybe even a plastic surgeon.
00:14:43.040 Strong editing is used when making pornography,
00:14:47.020 giving viewers unrealistic expectations
00:14:49.620 of what relationships should be like.
00:14:51.940 You're watching something that is not real,
00:14:55.420 edited,
00:14:56.340 the makeup,
00:14:57.500 everything is edited.
00:14:59.320 The woman they bring there,
00:15:00.480 her body shape or a man,
00:15:02.180 et cetera,
00:15:02.900 you start doubting your manhood.
00:15:04.880 Oh my gosh,
00:15:05.520 am I supposed to be like that?
00:15:06.600 You know,
00:15:07.080 you have an intimacy having,
00:15:08.580 you know,
00:15:08.940 with your wife,
00:15:09.900 et cetera.
00:15:10.660 Yeah,
00:15:10.920 you know,
00:15:11.160 you just probably finish in,
00:15:13.460 I don't know,
00:15:14.340 two,
00:15:15.340 three minutes,
00:15:15.720 and then you start doubting yourself.
00:15:17.160 You know,
00:15:17.720 oh my gosh,
00:15:18.340 I didn't satisfy her.
00:15:19.500 You know,
00:15:20.040 maybe I'm not man enough,
00:15:21.020 et cetera.
00:15:21.620 All these kind of self-doubts.
00:15:23.220 If she's watched pornography,
00:15:24.220 she's thinking,
00:15:24.660 you know what?
00:15:25.320 Yeah,
00:15:25.600 you know,
00:15:25.860 this guy,
00:15:26.300 you know,
00:15:26.760 he's a flipping two minute wonder,
00:15:28.820 you know,
00:15:29.320 whatever it may be.
00:15:30.440 So,
00:15:30.780 I'm being realistic here,
00:15:32.140 yeah?
00:15:32.540 And,
00:15:33.180 when he's looking at her,
00:15:34.300 he's thinking,
00:15:34.800 bruv,
00:15:35.000 she doesn't look like those chicks
00:15:36.300 in the videos that I watch,
00:15:39.100 her body,
00:15:39.680 et cetera.
00:15:39.960 So,
00:15:40.100 you're thinking,
00:15:40.540 ah,
00:15:40.700 this is dead,
00:15:41.360 bruv.
00:15:42.320 That's what I'm talking about.
00:15:43.680 It gives unrealistic expectations,
00:15:46.100 which causes divorces,
00:15:47.420 causes unhappiness,
00:15:48.740 causes God knows what,
00:15:50.020 and what you do,
00:15:50.640 you go back to the second point,
00:15:52.000 which is addiction.
00:15:53.240 Go watch pornography again,
00:15:54.160 because that's where you're going to get
00:15:54.960 your satisfaction from.
00:15:56.100 Number four,
00:15:57.020 supporting human trafficking.
00:15:58.760 These videos are causing
00:16:00.200 people to be used,
00:16:03.180 abused,
00:16:03.560 and even killed.
00:16:04.400 Child pornography.
00:16:06.820 Child pornography.
00:16:08.020 It's on an epidemic level.
00:16:09.960 People are watching this stuff.
00:16:12.420 Children,
00:16:13.480 being raped.
00:16:16.100 Females,
00:16:17.000 women,
00:16:18.040 being taken captive.
00:16:21.140 Come on.
00:16:22.000 Come on,
00:16:22.660 guys.
00:16:23.200 This is affecting society as a whole.
00:16:27.200 And,
00:16:28.060 fifthly,
00:16:28.880 porn encourages self-gratification.
00:16:31.140 We live at a time
00:16:31.860 we want everything fast.
00:16:32.980 Fast food,
00:16:34.460 Amazon Prime,
00:16:35.480 fast cars,
00:16:36.400 fast hand dryers.
00:16:37.480 Everything is fast.
00:16:38.660 Whatever we want,
00:16:39.500 we need to get it now.
00:16:40.700 And that messes up with the fitrah.
00:16:42.660 And what happens is,
00:16:43.640 when you get into marriage,
00:16:44.740 etc.,
00:16:45.180 you think,
00:16:46.140 oh no,
00:16:46.560 life has to be like this,
00:16:47.600 you know.
00:16:47.760 I want something,
00:16:48.880 I want something,
00:16:49.020 I get it.
00:16:49.740 It doesn't work like that.
00:16:51.120 And studies show that people who have restrained themselves,
00:16:53.240 self-discipline,
00:16:54.480 away from that have a better successful life.
00:16:57.380 These are the five dangers that pornography causes.
00:17:01.660 Brothers and sisters,
00:17:02.560 if you're watching this,
00:17:05.580 please,
00:17:06.720 cut it.
00:17:08.240 There are solutions.
00:17:09.500 Don't go to places where you're alone.
00:17:12.320 Yeah?
00:17:12.800 Number one,
00:17:13.740 ask Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala for help.
00:17:16.000 Repent to him,
00:17:16.660 his your Lord is all forgiven.
00:17:17.760 Oh Allah,
00:17:18.200 help me out of this mess.
00:17:20.040 Help me.
00:17:20.700 It will be a gradual progress,
00:17:22.620 but,
00:17:23.520 the first step is that,
00:17:24.700 you want to make a change?
00:17:26.300 Do it.
00:17:26.880 Because eventually,
00:17:28.360 eventually you will slowly,
00:17:29.680 and where there's a will,
00:17:31.040 there's a way.
00:17:32.540 Believe me,
00:17:33.340 where there's a will,
00:17:33.840 there's a way.
00:17:34.200 You can.
00:17:35.180 You need to have self-courage,
00:17:36.660 make doah,
00:17:37.560 move away,
00:17:38.280 stop looking at indecent things.
00:17:40.000 They say the heart doesn't desire
00:17:41.820 what the eyes don't see.
00:17:43.860 If you are making yourself exposed to all of this,
00:17:47.420 of course your heart is going to yearn for it.
00:17:50.800 And don't watch this,
00:17:51.940 because it's going to destroy your relationship in the future with your wife.
00:17:54.880 And that's the reason why.
00:17:56.680 Soon I'll be releasing,
00:17:58.620 an online platform,
00:18:00.040 where we will be helping everybody,
00:18:01.820 all angles to have successful marriages.
00:18:03.560 Not only get married,
00:18:04.840 but to stay married.
00:18:06.480 I've got something big coming up,
00:18:07.880 inshallah,
00:18:08.160 Barham Sisters.
00:18:08.780 I want to thank my sponsor,
00:18:10.260 My Ilm,
00:18:11.140 a beautiful app,
00:18:12.120 a beautiful app for young children.
00:18:14.160 Do not lose your children,
00:18:16.580 their future,
00:18:17.340 to this vile,
00:18:18.840 disgusting industry,
00:18:21.820 which is capitalizing on innocent people.
00:18:24.340 We also react,
00:18:26.380 in another video,
00:18:27.080 to a famous actor,
00:18:30.420 and her life being turned upside down.
00:18:34.000 Guys,
00:18:34.860 download the app now.
00:18:36.020 Even if you do not have kids,
00:18:37.820 support the app.
00:18:39.100 Let other people benefit from it,
00:18:41.120 inshallah,
00:18:41.360 and let us help
00:18:42.600 our Muslim brothers and sisters
00:18:44.540 creating these kind of apps
00:18:45.980 to help the ummah
00:18:46.940 from abstaining from disgusting stuff.
00:18:49.900 I want to thank My Ilm,
00:18:52.060 inshallah,
00:18:52.700 and I ask you guys to download it,
00:18:54.600 and inshallah,
00:18:55.100 protect your kids
00:18:55.900 from this disaster.
00:18:58.200 They are your amanah.
00:18:59.560 So make sure you look after them.
00:19:00.560 Until next time,
00:19:01.960 As-salamu alaykum,
00:19:03.040 I'll see you next time.
00:19:03.640 I'll see you next time.
00:19:03.880 See you next time.
00:19:03.920 Bye.